#I don't remember all the details but this was the gist of what happened right?

[thatonecrazysidekick]

I'm incapable of just leaving blank spot in my math workbook and moving on to the next page, so here's a five minute rendition of the death flashback to fill it in (˘ - ˘)

[fallloverfic]

Kabru's retelling of Mithrun's backstory: Story versus Memory

I'm sure it's been brought up before, but I find it interesting that a number of Mithrun and Mithrun-adjacent theories I spot depend on the premise that what we see of Mithrun's backstory during Kabru and Mithrun's time together is factual, rather than a modified version seen through the lens of Kabru's retelling with the specific goal not of being accurate to events as they occurred, but to convince Laios of "the danger in demons." (p.77, Delicious in Dungeon World Guide: The Adventurer's Bible by Ryoko Kui, English translation). Obviously a lot of manga spoilers below.

Perhaps the only part of Mithrun's backstory prior to his rejoining the Canaries told in visual comic format rather than text that we know is accurate to how it happened (or at least absent Kabru's agenda-driven retelling) is the comic about Milsiril and Mithrun in the first Adventurer's Bible, Mithrun and the caretakers in Daydream Hour (no narrator is given for these, they are simply events shown), and panels 3-6 of p.76 of the first Adventurer's Bible, largely concerning Obrin, in essentially the only time we see Mithrun thinking about his backstory given comic form while Kabru is listening (I'm not including panel 7 because that part is a neat explanation for what the demon did but it's speculative on Mithrun's part). I also think the first page of chapter 62 of the manga is accurate to Mithrun's retelling, right before Kabru complains the story has too many characters on the following page, followed by, "We should pare it down", and we see an image of presumed edited Mithrun surrounded by the now edited and nondescript "others" (with past!Mithrun looking upset/nervous about the editing):

We then get insight into Kabru thinking, "I should get it straight in my mind..." While you could argue this is Kabru simply cutting out extraneous details/set dressing like "everyone who was there but wasn't really involved in the story"/some comment about how Mithrun is not the best storyteller, it opens the way to, what I believe is, the fact that we really don't see a lot of Mithrun's actual backstory as it actually happened. It's also good to remember that Mithrun clearly disagrees about what is an extraneous and thus unnecessary detail, and what is not (I'll get to this later).

On p.169 of volume 9 of the English release of the manga, after past!Mithrun looks in the mirror, Kabru thinks, "That's pretty good plotting. Everybody loves a tragic love story."

You could say this is Kabru being genre savvy and/or respecting Mithrun's storytelling credentials at least for this portion of the story, or seeing this part of the story and being like, "Naw, that's good, that can stay", but it also just leads more into this narrative of, "Kabru is rewriting the story to suit his ends", with his ends being: explaining all of this to Laios in a way that will convince Laios about "the danger in demons." We are seeing Kabru's story, not Mithrun's memory, and those are two very different things.

Centrally, we get the very important p.186 of volume 9, where, after, "completing" Mithrun's backstory, where he's taken back by the Canaries after the demon injures him, Kabru looks at Mithrun in the present and asks, "--how's that?"

This implies that what we see immediately prior to this is a retelling of the story from Kabru's perspective, not Mithrun's. Kabru confirms this by saying, "I tried to organize your story in my own way. I got the gist of it, didn't I?" Mithrun replies, "The details are totally different." To which Kabru replies, "I edited those to make it a bit easier to understand. It's way too complicated." In the background is an image of all the elvish relationships, seemingly indicating those are the details that were edited.

From the next panel, we're also seemingly meant to conclude that the only thing Kabru edited out was, "how elf society is structured". But well... Kabru doesn't have a high opinion of Laios (with good reason, at least when it comes to listening to other people). He seems to want the story to be as simple to understand as possible. This is encouraged by p.77 of the first Adventurer's Bible, in Mithrun's section. Kabru says, "Let's pare the story down to what you want to say. It's too unfocused. The relationships are too complex." While this does again seem to indicate a criticism of Mithrun's story-telling capability with an emphasis on the fact that Kabru thinks Mithrun could tell his own story better... I find it interesting that Mithrun actually pushes back. Mithrun explains, "But if you cut that out, the punchline doesn't make any sense," and explains about his illegitimacy. Mithrun can see that Kabru has his own version of the story to tell, which is not Mithrun's, ie., the story from the perspective of the person who experienced it, rather than someone listening to a retelling decades later, and who only knows 1-3 of the people involved (Mithrun and Milsiril, and I guess Helki if you want to include her).

Kabru's response is, "We don't need that bit either. Ideally, even a child should be able to understand it. If we summarize it... ...it will be easier to show the danger in demons." Here we see that Mithrun and Kabru disagree on what details are important, but ultimately Mithrun is fine with what Kabru is doing because Kabru's goal is not about literally rewriting history, but rather convincing Laios of something.

And we see with heavy implication that Mithrun's story has been literally pared down from the large blob Kabru is holding to the tiny orb Mithrun holds between his fingers. It's "tidy" now. Interestingly, this comic seems to take place in the same area as p.186 of volume 9 (look at what they're sitting on in the last panel of p.77 of the first Adventurer's Bible, compared to what they're sitting on in ch. 62 of the manga when Mithrun says, "There's eggshell in it.")

This use of "you" and "we" by Kabru is also pretty common when someone thinks their goals are shared. Kabru thinks that Mithrun is fully on his side about the "point" of sharing the story - to convince Laios to stop - which isn't entirely untrue. But originally Mithrun was just explaining it because Kabru was insistent on understanding what was wrong with Mithrun's body, and Mithrun also wanted Kabru to stop acting so recklessly in the dungeon ("You wished, so the dungeon provided. It's not a coincidence. Don't wish often" - Mithrun to Kabru, Chapter 61, Volume 9). Kabru is the one who decided on his own that it should be used to convince Laios (hence, Mithrun's question about who specifically Kabru plans to tell the story to, rather than his simply listening to Kabru tell a story). Mithrun is clearly not entirely averse to it, or at least not enough to stop him. But that doesn't mean Kabru's goals in the telling are the same as Mithrun's.

For a direct negation by Mithrun of Kabru's story, there's one on p.76 of the first Adventurer's Bible:

At the start of the Mithrun comic, Kabru is telling the story about Mithrun's backstory, "It's hard to imagine from the way he looks now, but... [skip] ...back then, he was a perfect youth." And Mithrun literally breaks into the retelling to say, "No I wasn't." This is followed by a panel of Mithrun's alleged perfect "past self" (as dreamed up by Kabru) glaring down at him. While Mithrun goes on to explain that mentally he wasn't a great guy, which doesn't necessarily negate the visual Kabru was painting, it also shows that Mithrun disagrees with Kabru's retelling, though he ultimately agrees with or at least goes along with the purpose Kabru has: convincing Laios that demons are bad. It doesn't ultimately matter to Mithrun that Kabru is modifying the story to tell to someone else Mithrun doesn't know, other than it might make their goals simpler to a degree, maybe. Mithrun is pointing out inaccuracy while he is chatting with Kabru and any third party is absent (and also elaborating on his own self-criticisms).

Also what is that, "[skip]" replacing in panel 1 of p.76? Is that just a part Kabru edited for his retelling, or where readers should fill in the part we see with them sitting together in the manga in ch.62? Who knows? There's a lot of things you could fill in here.

I'm not trying to cast aspersions on Kabru's character. I don't think he really changed things all that much. The big details are likely accurate, and perhaps even most of it is accurate. I think Mithrun would take issue with Kabru, say, making up a lover for him, and Mithrun's retelling seems to include Sultha, judging by that chart with Mithrun and his thoughts of other people in his past (as well as his character chart in the first Adventurer's Bible calling Sultha "his beloved"), so it's likely Sultha existing is accurate, at least to some degree. And the Mithrun lore sections in the Adventurer's Bible elaborate more in ways that generally confirm what Kabru was saying. But I think it's good to question just how much of Kabru and Mithrun talking about Mithrun's backstory contains accurate detailed backstory for Mithrun, as most of it seems to be told through the questionably edited and canonically pared down lens of someone who wasn't even alive during it (Mithrun was taken from the dungeon in year 479, Kabru was born in 492), and demonstrates intent to heavily simplify for a stated purpose other than accuracy.

Mostly I just find stories within stories fascinating and it's always good to look at who is doing the telling and why, and generally people have agenda in these kinds of things, and that can change how stories play out. And understanding that perhaps there's a lot more to Mithrun's backstory even from what we see (rather than just the things that we want to go into, e.g., Mithrun's relationships with his parents, more about his brother, more about what Mithrun's life was like during his recovery outside what little we get in Daydream Hour and the first Adventurer's Bible), because most of it is perhaps fabricated to some degree by Kabru. It opens up a lot of doors to headcanons and fanworks.

[cerealandchoccymilk]

Trigun Bookclub: Trigun Vol.1, Chapter #02

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Continuation of my Trigun annotation for the book club. I'm doing a deep-read of the Japanese original print (reread) and Overhaul 1.0 (first read) side-by-side, and writing down everything I notice from small details, version differences, translation differences, etc. (and being gay about the characters <3 always important)

Here are the beloved non-analysis sillies...

And the rest is under the cut. read my notes boy!!

[link for if the images aren't in horizontal rows]

The second page has an error - 悪夢 was probably misread as 悪魔 ("happen" and "awaken" are also the same kanji). It should be "Then, the nightmare occurred." It's really cool that this still works really well considering...y'know (not saying for the first-time readers ;) )

I just love how that drawing of Vash is so cool and serious...

...and then you turn the page and he's in the most pathetic cunty pussy-out pose you've ever seen. Easily one of my favorite panels. Also made a math question for funsies. sorry to anyone who got high school flashbacks, but I absolutely loved trigonometry lmao. I could do this forever.

A little pun(?) that may or may not be intentional - In Japanese, someone with a bounty on their head is called 賞金首, lit. "bounty neck" ("neck" sometimes signifies the entire head). The locals call out for the bounty-neck right as Vash hurt his neck lol

I love how creepy Vash moves sometimes. absolute cryptid

This is entirely a Japanese-only detail, but I really loved how Vash said バヤイ (bayai) in the sobbing in French line, because my mom also says that instead of 場合 (baai) when she's being silly lmao. Also, it's notable that in Japanese, Vash says フランセ語 ("Francé-go," where "go" is the suffix for languages) which may be either another miles->iles/double-dollar situation, or just him speaking silly like バヤイ.

Also, the line after that would more accurately be "How am I supposed to deal with all these locals?"

Here, the "Really?" is actually Meryl saying something like "I'll give you a hint."

Meryl tends to be the one responsible for the braincell in fanworks but it's important to remember that she absolutely is dumb too (affectionate).

I'm so glad I wrote that reminder about Meryl's speech, but I don't think I'll be able to do it justice here when I have so much more to talk about. I'll have to write another post later, so I'll link it when it's done. The gist is that she talks like a stereotypical high-class anime girl, and the trope is from how a similar demographic in Meiji-era Japan actually spoke.

The boy's pussy faces the world yet again. I love all the faces he makes!! look at him!!!!!!!!!!! he's so cute

The text on the board here was very messy and squished, but it says something like "Vash the Stampede Absolute Capture Task Force Headquarters." Honestly don't know how to fit all that into the board though so uh good luck on that for 2.0... Also dear god Vash has so much energy... He's just been running for 3 hours straight...!!

Fun fact: the equivalent idiom to "fight fire with fire" in Japanese is "use poison on poison."

Love how Nebraska is just like "no we didn't jailbreak, we just let ourselves out :/"

Translation error for Milly and the chairman - Milly is saying "Why do things keep getting worse and worse!?" and the chairman is mumbling "What's the deal with you two..."

Showing some love for his pretty pretty eyes..........(gives him so many smooches in my head)("i can imagine anything" image)(can't add it because i reached the 30 image limit)

The "Freeze!" is actually untranslated, just re-typed to match the surrounding font. Also, that panel is the first time Vash's antennae is shown bent!! It goes back up immediately after that though.

Fun fact #2. Vash says ara ara. if you even care.

This line never fails to hit me hard. They're all desperate mothers and sisters, and they're taking on the bad role because nothing's more important than their dear children. (reminds me of a certain someone...)

I've seen someone mention this before, but Trimax definitely adjusted the number of plants. Fifty!?!? Also, in Japanese, "plants" and "died" were in quotations.

I love the gun pull in the right panel. Vash obviously definitely doesn't intend on shooting, but is rather showing off his skill and resolve as an intimidation tactic to throw the girls off-guard.

God this entire spread is just so RAW.... (here's the post that's mentioned in blue. it just reminded me)

Some more hypes and sillies. The impact that "KISS MY ASS!!" had on my first read was phenomenal!! It's so silly!! and cool!!!

And then there's this!! Another favorite part of mine. Vash's antennae are bent again! They kind of alternate between straight and bent from here.

The green writing about the onomatopoea are more of just a translation note rather than a suggestion. I can't think of any good beckoning noises in English :V

And finally, Milly calls "Mr. Bomb" "Bomb-kun" in Japanese which I think yall would enjoy lol. And happy strangling her saturday tuesday.

The Japanese version of the annotations are in the reblogs, if anyone wants them.

I have Chapter #03 mostly ready, so I'll probably post it tomorrow morning and try to speedrun the rest of the chapters because this is taking longer than I expected!! God there's just so much to say!! (Also gotta remember to write about Meryl's speech!!)

And thank yall so much for the feedback on the Chapters #00-01 post!! I didn't know so many people were interested in such small details!! Love (and peace) yall 🫶🤞

[sketching-shark]

your shrike picture intrigue me and i wish to know about this monkey wrench au

Aw! Glad you found my super sketchy comic interesting.

I don't have that many details about it thought up, but basic gist is that after the Monkey Wrench crew somehow manage to piss off L.A.W. bad enough the Reds decide to take back the suit Shrike never returned, disappearing and putting him back "under the knife" to do so, but hey turns out this space squid is just as good at regeneration as his Earthly counterparts were ah ha ha oh no.

Anyway, some time later Beebs, who had since Shrike's disappearance joined a conservationist group labeled as eco-terrorists on account of their actions against private companies' profit-driven extraction of raw material and subsequent destruction of many environments, finally gets word as to what happened to his friend. Shrike had also been playing learned helplessness even while keeping his eyes and ears out for any chance to escape. And that's how he finds out that the Reds, in an effort to find more members of Shrike's species despite his presumed endling status, DID locate some more. But it was in the form of three cans of amazingly still viable eggs that were originally sold as a caviar-like delicacy a la Much's Oddysee (damn anyone still remember Oddworld?)

From there Beebs, Shrike, and the conservationist group figure out and manage to pull off a rescue mission for Shrike and the eggs, which eventually leads to him being in water with the first "test batch" of eggs to see if they'll hatch when re-introduced to saltwater.

Short fic of this below:

---

The ex-Yellow omnibiologist had assured them that the tank had successfully been used before to help the newborns and infants of other aquatic and amphibious species. That a careful study of both the eggs and Shrike's own physiology had given them a great deal of information on how to make conditions ideal for the eggs to hatch and for the beings inside them to survive. But still, there were so many things that could go wrong. What if the temperature wasn't right? What if the water was too salty, or not salty enough? What if Shrike, who had been given the task of keeping a gentle current over the eggs to keep them clean and stimulated and comfortable in the presence of an adult of their own species, was doing it too hard? Or not hard enough? What if the eggs were already damaged beyond repair? What if he had damaged them in that frantic escape from L.A.W.? What if, what if, what if...

Beebs was ever an optimist. But Shrike's own track record made it hard to believe him that something was going to go horribly wrong, and that it would be his fault. It didn't help that Shrike's job in the tank and Beeb's own work kept them separated for long stretches of time. The salt water was strangely soothing on Shrike's still badly damaged skin, as if it was helping to stimulate whatever it was about his cells that triggered the initial regeneration. But it didn't do anything to help him cope with the loneliness or the feelings of helplessness, in spite of the omnibiologist assuring him that things were going well.

Shrike did try to take some small comfort in that. Usually people were all too happy to tell him exactly how he had ruined everything. Presumably she would too, if anything was going wrong.

Even so, during one of the spare times that Beebs was able to hang out with Shrike for a good number of hours, he was obviously becoming increasingly concerned at how Shrike couldn't even pretend he wasn't deeply worried. It took an embarrassingly little amount of prodding on Beeb's part for Shrike to spill his guts on everything that could go wrong and might go wrong, how there was still plenty of time for him to mess up so bad that the contents of those eggs would never got to see the world at all.

Beebs had, more than once, seen Shrike at his worst. But even so, he took this confession in stride.

"I can understand where you're coming from. But you know what? Something tells me things are going to work out. In fact. I'll make a bet with you."

Shrike perked up.

"Every one of them is going to make it."

...That wasn't a bet Shrike was confident enough to take. Beebs was kind enough to understand.

So things continued. Shrike's skin did get better, and the eggs continued to get bigger. It was a real milestone when the cephalopoids inside became recognizeable. And then, at last, they started to emerge.

A number of members of the conservationists, Beebs included, had gathered around the tank. Shrike was the only one inside, and watched the entire event with his fingers clenched between his teeth. The little ones seemed to be struggling to get out. More than once Shrike felt like he should go over and help them out of their egg sacs, though he had no idea how he would even do that without hurting them. But the omnibiologist had been clear in her instructions that this was something they had to do alone.

And then.

All eleven managed to get out of their eggs.

Shrike was surprised, even if he shouldn't have been. For all that Beebs found games of chance stupid and pointless, he had always been the better gambler.

For a few moments, the newhatched had simply floated, as if they were so shocked by their entrance into the world that they could only pause and stare. But it didn't take long until one of the little blue beings, skin so thin that Shrike could almost see its small heart beating, propelled itself over to him and ran its tiny tentacles across his face in exploration. Its eyes were bright with a curios innocence not yet dimmed by what the galaxy could dish out. More and more of the others soon joined it in examining his head. Shrike soon felt like he was being mobbed by a swarm of butterflies. Or at least what he assumed a butterfly mob attack would be.

He couldn't remember the last time he had been this happy, or this relieved.

But these little versions of...whatever he was were only newborns, with all the short attention span that suggested. Their curiosity went far beyond himself, and one after another they jetted away, eager to see what else this new place had to offer.

It was only after the last one had given his face a final touch before going to join the others in further explorations of their new home that Shrike received a call on his new and improved waterproof phone. The little ones were starting to form small clusters as they propelled themselves back and forth. As the omnibiologist had predicted, they were on the hunt for food. A variety of things known to be enjoyed by other, extant cephalopodoids had been laid out. And luckily, it seemed like the local clams and the fifteen kinds of cheeses found on Shrike's own favorite pizza were suiting them just fine.

Shrike answered, and was greeted by the sound of Beebs' smug confidence.

"So...did I win the bet?"

Shrike felt himself too chocked up by a flood of strange emotions to even attempt a response.

"...Shrike? Is...are you..."

"Yes! Okay! They all made it! They're fine! They're exploring! It-I-we..."

Shrike forced himself to keep his sobs of relief in.

"...at least this one time, I didn't screw it up."

Beebs tentatively approached the tank and pressed his organic, ungloved hand against the tempered glass. Shrike let himself drift down until he could do the same. It was startling, the contrast between Beebs' large, webbed digits and Shrike's own much more slender ones. But it was a real comfort, knowing that someone as different from him as Beebs had his back one hundred percent.

"Raising all those tiny things isn't something to leave to chance, Shrike. And no one can do this alone. Not their rescue, not their rearing. But we did it. Eleven more cephalopoids of your species are in the world, and a lot of that is thanks to you."

Shrike knew from past experience that when it was over something he really cared about--usually money or pizza or Terran goods--having them snatched away would send him into the ugliest of crying fits. Beebs had always taken it with good humor. And this time, as with the others, Beebs let Shrike bawl as much as he wanted without judgement, probably just glad that this was over something they had all been hoping for, only murmuring that Shrike might be disturbing the babies--the squids?--the squabies.

Through his snuffling and tears, Shrike managed to get out that he was being a good role model by showing the newhatched not to hold in their emotions. Beebs rolled his eyes, but he did agree that was much better than bottling everything up. When Shrike finally got control of himself again, Beebs gave some more welcome tidings.

"Here's another piece of good news. By the time they're big enough for the larger tank, the techs think they'll have finished the waterproof sealant for prosthetics like mine. Told me it's something they've been working on for awhile, but something as big as a de-extinction event really lit a fire under their collective behinds to get it finished. I'm really looking forward to getting into the water again, especially since I wanna meet those mini-yous."

Shrike scrubbed one hand across his eyes before giving Beebs a cheeky smirk.

"Think I should light another, amigo? Really give them a reason to work?"

Beebs actually laughed at that.

"Nah, nah. Chances are that another eleven and counting of you running around means we'll have a lot of actual fires to put out in the future. Let's enjoy the peace while we can."

Shrike didn't reply through the phone, but he did give his friend a big grin and a thumbs up. He hung up, and returned his attention to the little ones. They had indeed formed a cluster around him again, as if concerned over his tears. Or maybe because they thought his crying meant he was soon to become an easy meal.

Still, Shrike let the little ones approach and explore his face again. He also offered up his hands, and couldn't help but grin again at how fascinated they soon became with his digits. Shrike idly wondered how long it would take before they started to form humanoid limbs of their own, and how they would feel when they could get out of the water like him.

He knew next to nothing of his species outside of what he knew about himself. Their history, their culture, even the place they had evolved in...all of it gone. And yet, in spite of all odds, here they were. Here they all were, safe, well-fed, and, Shrike hoped, happy.

He would do his damnedest to make sure they got to stay.

[arcsparkasriel]

Vtubertale Profiles: Ralsei Dreemurr

For those who heard the story from my first post, you probably already know the gist of it. However, I'm sure those among you want to know the story of my adorable little brother Ralsei again! Or at least with a bit more detail.

After "The Plan" failed quite catastrophically, when Chara and I...expired. Mom and Dad were pretty darn distraught. I still have issues from what happened, but I'm glad I have everyone to help me through it. Mom doesn't like to talk about that day, but I think I know what happened. All Mom could do was cry for the next three days until her mind and body couldn't cry anymore. I wish I didn't know how badly our selfish plan would affect them. Dad took it really badly too but in a different way. Yeah, shocking I know. Going nuts after watching your children die. He did not cry, he hardly spoke, and seemed to shut down completely, having retreated inwards. Then you know the rest. Dad let his mouth move before his brain could and declared war on humanity in a fit of rage.

Mom being disgusted with him and everything that had happened, had enough. Leaving her role as queen and essentially divorcing Dad, moving back to our old home in the Ruins, never to be seen for years.

However, Ma and Dad...ahem, most definitely...had a moment of romance any day at least a month back before this all happened. I did the math a long time ago. Understandable I suppose. Mortifying thinking about the details as their eldest son, but understandable. On the day of "the plan," I was only a week away from receiving my first weapon as a Monster, and my own royal circlet, officially being called a Prince. Ma and Dad were about to have their 1st honeymoon in centuries. So spirits were high at the time...until they weren't.

Another month after she left, did Mom realize she was with my first biological sibling. I've only gotten a few details from Mom about her time of pregnancy and I only remember a few scattered memories while being stuck inside that FLOWER. The Flower though didn't appear until she was further along. Maybe five months down the line? I do remember hearing her talking to herself...or Ralsei rather every day while she was carrying him.

"You'll always be safe with me. I'll teach you everything you'll ever need to know."

"We'll have so much fun together."

"We may not be the fullest family anymore, but I'll be all the family you'll ever need."

Stuff like that. The Flower didn't think much of it and probably scoffed at the comments at the time. Thinking back on it, however, I could tell Mom was barely hanging on to sanity. Frisk and I just convinced her to go into therapy just a few weeks ago. Both of us are convinced Mom was only an edge away from snapping and doing something insane. Yeah, I know all about the "Underfell" and "Horrortale" versions of Mom that did break and lost their sanity. One of my other selves told me as much. Those possibilities scare us every day. How Frisk and Ralsei managed to keep her from snapping I still don't know. We love her so much though. Mom is worth it.

When the day came...maybe enough of my soul seeped through the Flower to remain near Mom. Cause I vividly remember hearing every labored scream throughout the whole process. I was right outside the window. She was in the kitchen, just out of sight. Days prior, the Flower saw her gathering durable rope, a ceiling hook, a large bag of pain-dulling mushrooms, dozens of pillows, rubbing alcohol, and a large plastic tarpaulin. Typical, always thinking hygienically that mother of mine.

Jeez, she actually had to go through it the ancient way with no pain relievers or access to the royal hospital. Well, she was once a shield maiden before the war. So maybe Mom was just defaulting. Yeah, maybe I'll share that story with you all in a future journal. The labor itself probably took a full day, which still makes me mentally cringe and sympathetic. I don't know how I managed to keep the Flower still during all that time, the details are really fuzzy. I don't put too much thought into "the power of love" but perhaps there is something to that.

The next thing the Flower heard was the baby's first cry. And Mom doing her best to stifle her own joyful sobbing. She must have been exhausted but pushed through all of it. I got the best Mom ever. I could hear her voice shushing the baby and trying to soothe him. Surprisingly it worked. A small gasp I remember from her, but then a moment of silence and a soft cooing like a dove's call.

"Born in the dark, I suppose this was going to happen. I love you anyways, my little baby boy. It's nice to meet you, little one. I'm your mama. My little Darkner. We'll need to make sure you're covered. The light might be too much for you. For how long I cannot say."

I don't think the Flower quite understood what she meant until Mom somehow stood up to stumble into her room six hours later. The tiny wrapped bundle cradled in her arm. She was wearing a simple lilac gown in place of her royal robes. She was visibly drained of stamina and exhausted in every possible way. Bags under her eyes, a slow gait, and heavy breathing.

The Flower saw what the child looked like. 'Unnaturally pale with some pinkish hues coming through the fur. His tiny nails as well as his horns once they grew in would be that same pinkish shade.

"Albino" I remember the flower saying. And then laughing that horrible laugh that never leaves my thoughts. "Albinos never last long in the wild, let's see how long he lasts in captivity. Even if the barrier breaks, he'll fry like an egg in the sunlight."

After that, the Flower regained control and that's the last thing I remember.

Over the next few years, the Flower popped around to spy on them. Ralsei grew quite fast and took to his immortality quickly. By that time, the loop had already started to take effect and I had reset quite a few times by this point. For Ralsei's fifth birthday, Mom got him green robes and a pointy hat, for his eighth birthday, she made him a long hot pink scarf and gave him an ancient crucible steel human cauldron that fell from the surface. Just last week, we took it to be appraised by a professor at the nearby university. Ancient Celtic apparently. Very well preserved. Probably thanks to Mom's efforts. Ralsei still uses it to practice his unique "Cauldron Cooking". Not that much different from using a crock pot. Ralsei's Sea Salt Ice Cream Cakes are quite good.

When the human children began falling down into the Underground, Mom tried to help and adopt each and every one of them as her own. Ralsei was so excited each and every time to make a new friend, never having anyone else other than his own mother to play or talk with. It was quite a lonely existence in the Ruins.

Which only made their deaths all the harder on both of them. And every time it happened, a piece of their hearts broke. Ralsei just became more and more fragile. Mom only got angrier and angrier at Dad. Ralsei retreated further into the safety of his mind. The Flower from time to time would pop out and torment him. I still feel guilty about that.

I often saw Ralsei hanging around the flowers at Chara's grave by the entrance to the Ruins. Maybe some part of him knew something was there, even though Mom would never dare speak of Chara or me. The memories were still too painful.

When Frisk arrived, everything changed. There's something special about him. You know, other than the master of time manipulation, ability to fight infinitely stronger opponents, and superhuman willpower to keep his soul together. Once Frisk connected with us monsters, we couldn't help but love him.

After Chara betrayed us, I not only thought I was incapable of giving love but receiving it too. Sure, there was a time when she was my best friend too. She was my sister. Mom, Dad, and I wanted to save her all that time. To give her a family and a place to call home. Unfortunately, vengeance blackened her heart long ago. Mine nearly was. I walked the abyss of the Underground every day for centuries of time loops. Somehow I avoided falling in permanently. Chara just...didn't want to be saved. She fell into that pit years ago, and nobody, not even I could have pulled her out of it.

You definitely know the tale of how Frisk escaped Mom and began his journey right? Well, it happened just a little differently. Ralsei didn't want to stay trapped in the Ruins either. He had grown too attached to Frisk and didn't want to see him go. So he slipped some melatonin into Mom's pie. I'll have to ask him what kinds of things Mom was teaching him. Frisk confronted her at the exit like normal, except Ralsei disobeyed and followed them. After Mom allowed Frisk to go, Ralsei told me Mom was losing consciousness quickly, so he dashed out of the Ruins after Frisk.

Ralsei caught up with Frisk quickly and started following him on his journey. I think everyone in the Underground had an inkling about what Ralsei was, even with his robes on and his hat covering his head, including the smiley trash bag. But for whatever reason they chose not to say anything.

Most of the journey went just as how Mr. Toby Fox displayed it in the game he made about our story. With the addition of maybe a few extra conversations Ralsei and Frisk had with the other monsters and each other. I wasn't around them the whole time, and I'm still learning details as time went on.

At the end, Mom was livid with Ralsei, but forgave him immediately when she reunited with Frisk. And then there's Dad...

Meeting Ralsei for the first time was... wonderful, but hard for Dad. Not knowing that he had another blood son. Never being there for his birth, his birthdays. Never being there to make his first toy, or play ball with him, or anything really. It was even stranger for Ralsei. Since he had never known or been told about Dad from Mom. He wasn't angry at Mom for never telling her. Ralsei isn't one much for cliched responses. All he wanted was to learn more about his father.

The details after that go into how I came back, which I'll cover in good time. All you need to know is officially meeting my new little brothers for the first time as myself was probably the best moment of my life.

These days. only a year after we left the Underground, life is finally getting better. Not always fantastic, but so much better. Every day, one step at a time. Ralsei, Frisk, Susie, and I are still close as ever. We all live together in a seven-room multimillion-dollar apartment, paid in full by the government of England. Susie having just joined our family only a month ago. On the surface, Mom thought Ralsei should have new more modern clothing. So he traded out his robes for a modern-style Poncho to cover his Torso.

When he goes out into direct sunlight, we always try to get him to wear his pointy hat or a sunhat that Muffet made for him. We had to swap out his old glasses for some professionally made ones. Of course, boss monster-sized glasses for big monster eyes weren't readily available, so we had to get his custom-made from a company in America.

His cooking is starting to rival Mom's and my own. His Cauldron Cooking is quite top-notch.

Our apartment is very much like his own little kingdom. Since he can't always go outside, he takes care of most of the chores and cooking when Mom can't. We have our own sizable library that he's been spending a lot of time in. For work, I've been having to learn a few different languages being so close to other countries. Spanish, French, Polish, German, Italian, and Danish. And the ancient languages that I'm glad to have persisted. Celtic, Welsh, Latin. So I bring a lot of language learning books home that he snags almost every time.

When he does go out, he's often visiting Dad and my other work friend Noelle and her sister December.

Ralsei, Frisk, and Susie aren't quite ready for public human schools, so until we can find something suitable for them, Alphys often stops by to be their tutor.

It's getting late, but I will expand on more details of Ralsei's life here later. Maybe you can catch Ralsei and Susie hanging out silently in my streams! Howdy to you all and I hope to see you again next time!

[zeawesomebirdie]

hi !!!! did NOT consider you might like to have the ask again to answer it. if you do:

seeing you post about your old west au is motivating me to at least draft my stuff out for my fic, too!!! so, firstly: good god thank you. secondly, what kind of drafting process do you normally go through? you don't have to answer this but everyone i know is pretty particular about how they write so i'm always curious!!!

Gosh okay I'm still so embarrassed about accidentally posting this before it was ready!! Lesson learned: only work on long posts on desktop (very affectionate). I'm going to copy paste what I had originally said, but there will be added stuff because it wasn't anywhere near ready to go (if you thought it was long before, honey you ain't seen nothing yet!)

Also I still am so proud of you for working on your fic, we are writing buddies now hand in lovable hand I love you thank you for enabling my rambling <33

Buckle in, here we go!

SO! My drafting process is always a moving target. I do what works best for the work in question, and things change depending on my energy and fatigue levels plus my motivation and interest levels

So that said, right now my process usually looks like:

ramble at someone in DMs, copy and paste rambles into a google doc for safekeeping and marinating

zero draft, aka word vomit until a plot forms, block out actions and the occasional dialog, determine chapter and story arcs

first draft, aka Where The Real Writing Happens

optional second draft, but only if the fic is under 10k

line edits

post :)

find a bunch of typos that I somehow missed during line editing, fix those before anyone notices

I will be showing examples because this is a bit hard to explain and Extremely Intense to a lot of people, and yeah that's because it is! I approach writing fanfic the same way I approach writing original fiction, and I find it works best for me as a plotter

If you are metaphorically inclined and familiar with oil painting: I write the way an oil painter paints. First I block in the big shapes, the gestures, and the colours. Then I come back in subsequent drafts and increase the detail until I'm done!

Further information and actual examples of my drafts will be below the cut, because this is gonna be super long and I love talking shop ^.^

And general content warning for non-graphic violence and graphic smut (and shitty early drafts); the examples are from Bruce Wayne/Dick Grayson fics

So before we get into the zero draft, I want to point out two things: first, I do full rewrites. This is why writing takes me one million years. I retype each and every word in each and every draft. Second, I'm actually trying something new with the Old West!AU, for reasons I will explain in a moment!

I started doing full rewrites in 2019 after a college writing course, in which we read Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott; she encourages the reader to embrace the shitty first draft. I ended up really benefiting from a zero draft too, something I first learned about in 2020 from someone on authortube who I no longer remember the name of. The zero draft is essentially a pre-draft, in which one gets the gist of the story out of their system before the prose clogs up the spigot

For me, zero drafts are something that need to be finished as fast as possible in order to get done at all, so due to the sheer length of the Old West!AU, I'm trying out writing little bullet points instead of my full zero drafting. Right now this fic is at 27 chapters, and this is part 1 of 3 total. I will be going back and filling in the actual blocking once I have all the scenes roughly accounted for

Context for the Old West!AU: Bruce is the Bat, a vigilante gunman who only kills when he needs to but still has the fastest draw on this side of the Mississippi. Now that he's taken care of the man who killed his parents, he's returned home to his Uncle Alfred and gone straight, meaning that he's hung up his guns and gone back to homesteading the family land. He adopts Dick and then a year later Jason as well, when small burglaries start happening in town, so he takes the Bat out of retirement and goes to investigate.

My bullet points started out like this:

Open on comparison between Bruce's first gun and the Bat's guns. Introduce Joe Chill, general drunkard. The Bat calls out Chill, shootout, Chill is killed. Chill drew first. Moment of reflection between Bruce's first gunfight at 15 to this one, at 21. Bruce goes home.

And that's the whole entire first chapter!

However, now they look more like:

The Sheriff runs up and shoots at him. The Bat has him disarmed with his own gun barrel to his throat in an instant. It doesn't take the Bat much time to get info out of him either. The burglar is only going after small change, not enough to be noticeable. That rules out the gambler, easily. The Sheriff can't do shit about it, because no one is willing to start an investigation for such small change. The Bat shoves the Sheriff to his knees and is gone before he notices. Alfred is waiting for him when he gets home, and asks. Bruce tries to deny it, but the clothes are in his hands and he can't. So he sighs and says he may have made a promise, but… there might be more to this than there seems, okay? He just… has a bad feeling about it. Alfred can't accept this, what about his sons? Bruce can't take this, and tells him he doesn't have to. Their yelling wakes up Dick and Jason, who stand in the doorway to their bedroom and look on with the door mostly closed.

Eventually both Alfred and Bruce yell each other out, and they sit down for coffee as dawn breaks. Bruce breaks the silence first, saying Alfred is right. Alfred tells him he understands. Bruce decides to let the Bat go for real now.

This is about half of the chapter, and closer to the blocking I normally do in zero drafts

So far this pre-zero draft seems to be working, given I've already finished part 1, but I also can't wait to come back and do the blocking in because that's when the fic really starts to take shape!

Usually though, I just start with a zero draft. I'm going to show you two different fics for the zero draft examples, because they were done differently, and like I said at the beginning, I try to adjust my process based on what is called for by what I'm writing

This first is from the fic I'm writing for @ful-crum. It's a 5+1, in which it is five times Dick fucks Bruce to distract him from discussing his emotions plus one time they actually discuss their emotions and then fuck about it.

Tim and Jason turn up an hour later, and they're incredibly concerned. Dick waves them off. Tim takes him at his word and heads to bed (he has a meeting with Wayne Tech at 8am tomorrow, ugh), but Jason sits down next to the bed and asks Dick what he thinks Bruce is going to say. Dick tells him he's not sure, I mean, it's B, y'know? Jason just nods, and they lapse into silence. Then Steph and Cass come in, and Bruce is most noticeably not present. Cass signs something about bed, and Steph tells Dick that she's worried about Bruce, to which Jason snorts and says they all are, but she insists that Dick talk to him. Dick doesn't even need to take more than a moment to decide that won't be happening. But Steph goes to bed, and it's nearly 04:00 when Jason heads up too, saying he'd love to help Dick lecture Bruce about staying out late but he's got stuff to do tomorrow. Dick asks if he wants to know what stuff, and Jason gives him a smirk and says ask him no questions and he'll tell him no lies. Dick can live with that.

As you can see, this is just general staging directions and vibes

This second example was supposed to be for BruDick Week 2024, but I accidentally got carried away and ended up deciding to write a longfic for it instead. The prompt was "brudick meet their AU!selves," so I did 66!brudick meets the Gotham Rogues Polycule, an AU in which Bruce, Dick, and Clark are in a very elaborate polycule with half of Gotham's villains.

Batman and Robin were on a normal mission in the middle of the day, on the trail of Catwoman, who's been stealing from the Gotham Museum of Art again. One moment they were walking into the museum, the next they were in a weird swirl of energy. Robin clings to Batman and asks what's going on, and Batman tells him steady Robin, we just have to stay calm and see what happens. The energy clears as someone calls out “incoming! Clear the floor!” and they find themselves in what is clearly the Cave, except it's even more high tech than anything they've ever seen. There's three people in suits like theirs standing in front of a massive screen, and Robin identifies the Riddler immediately, even if he doesn't recognise the other two. Before Batman can stop him, he charges the Riddler, who jumps behind the man in black and blue with a laugh. Batman does call out for him to stop, but he ignores him. The man in black and blue meets his every move, almost like he's fighting himself, and he calls out to the man in red and blue “a little help here, Supes?”

The biggest difference here is how drastically these fics changed from their zero draft to the first draft rendition, and that is entirely because of how fleshed out they ended up being (or not being, lol)

When I zero drafted the 5+1, it was with the intention of that specific part simply being a chapter, whereas my original zero draft of the 66! meeting the polycule! fic was actually intended to be a two shot at most. I unfortunately lost control of the plot during the first draft of that one, and it spiraled into a longfic, which will become more clear in a bit!

Basically though, the goal of the zero draft is to know who's where and why at all times! With longfics, there is often a restructuring that happens after the zero draft is written, where I move scenes and sometimes whole chapters to their best locations. This is where I make the most use out of a beta! Pacing is a big struggle for me and it is easier to fix at this stage, before I have all the prose and have become attached to what I've written

Next up is the first draft, and this is a whole new document. This is where I write The Actual Words. This is more or less the final version of the fic, for longfics, give or take a few paragraphs and a shit ton of line edits. Having said that though, I write in fits and bursts, because y'know disabled and stuff. So I write a paragraph or two at a time, and I am constantly adding and subtracting words and lines and sometimes whole paragraphs while I am actively working on a chapter

I'm going to show the first draft versions of both of the above fics, and due to the length these will be extremely excerpted but they should serve as examples regardless. Generally speaking, my zero drafts are about 1/3 of the length of my finished fics, however the 5+1 is currently proving to be an exception so that number may not be super accurate

First, the 5+1:

“You did take care of them, right?” Dick asked, groaning when Jason’s mouth thinned as he looked away. “Is Steph at least still with him?” “Last I heard, they were—” Jason started, cutting himself off when the Cave’s alarm signaled the arrival of newcomers. A moment later, two muddy bikes roared into the garage, leaving dark tracks behind them as they parked haphazardly together on the far side of the garage. With the return of Black Bat and Spoiler, the only empty place on the garage floor now belonged to Batman himself. Dick tried to catch Jason’s eyes as they waited in the med bay for Cass and Steph to strip off their suits and join them, but Jason turned away from him, though he didn’t rise from the bed. Something must have gone down after he’d fallen unconscious, Dick was sure of it. Why else would Bruce have sent everyone else home early on a patrol night? He could already see it in his mind’s eye, Batman doing God-knew-what out in Gotham alone, Bruce coming home with a busted lip that Dick would have to personally clean up before they went to bed, how that lip would scab over and feel under his tongue when he kissed Bruce the next morning after waking up in their bed—Bruce’s bed—on accident. How that scab would stretch when the ghost of a smile caught Bruce by surprise after one of Dick’s terrible puns. “You okay?” Steph called across the Cave as she and Cass walked toward the med bay. “Never been better,” Dick replied, trying not to be put out at Jason’s eye roll. He put up a hand for Cass to inspect when she came up to his bedside, and after she had nodded her satisfaction of his health he smiled. “I’ll be right as rain in no time.”

And the 66! meets polycule! fic:

“You!” Robin shouted, not waiting for Batman to back him up as he charged toward the Riddler. Riddler didn't move—in fact, none of the three moved—then Robin was on him, punching his face hard enough to hear a distinct crack. That startled all three into action, Riddler swearing up a storm before throwing himself behind the blue masked man, who blocked Robin's next hits without hesitation. “Robin!” Batman called from somewhere behind him, but Robin ignored him, focusing his energy on striking past the masked man's defenses to get at Riddler. “I know you're behind this, you– you scum!” Robin snarled in Riddler's direction, placing a perfectly timed jab toward the masked man's left cheek and then feinting to the right. But the man met him easily, as though they were merely sparring. “I'm not who you think I am!” Riddler exclaimed, his hands cupping his face but doing little to staunch the blood streaming from his nose. “Let's slow down for a minute, okay?” the masked man said, his voice maddeningly level as if Robin wasn't trying every trick he knew to get past him. “We can explain.” “Yeah kid, there's a good explanation here, we promise,” Riddler added. Robin growled and spun around the  masked man's reach only to find him once again directly blocking him from Riddler. How in the dickens did he know exactly where Robin was going to strike before Robin himself knew? And why on earth was he protecting the Riddler? “Supes, we could use a hand here,” the masked man said, still obnoxiously calm, once again blocking Robin's fist and this time circling his hand around Robin's wrist to twist his arm behind his back. In a blink, Robin was lifted into the air by his collar, the blue and red suited man holding him at arm's length. Robin continued to struggle for a moment, but finally Batman came into view, frowning up at him. Seeing Batman's disapproval took every bit of wind from Robin's sails, and he deflated instantly. If Batman didn't think he needed to fight, then he probably didn't need to.

So as you can see, I just kinda fill in the details with each draft!

Which is where we come to the optional second draft. I try, I really do try, to do a full second draft of everything I write. I always am glad to have done one, once it's done. The problem is, I really do have very limited energy, and anything longer than a chapter or two just doesn't get finished if I try to give it a full second draft. I've instead been doing really vigorous line edits, which I don't have an examples of because those are done in the same document as the first draft!

Now, you're probably wondering why on earth I gave a smut content warning at the beginning of this post. WELL.

I am calling myself out as a newbie when it comes to the art of smut writing. My 5+1 fic, the one where literally every single part has extremely explicit smut, has the following in the zero draft:

Yes, that is not one, not two, but three "cue smuts." Clearly I was new at this (affectionate)

Shout out to past!me for this in the last part though, because at least it actually has some semblance of blocking even if it is still extremely lacking:

The kissing escalates (as it often does) to smut over the desk (though Dick does try to move the documents out of the way, even if Bruce is growling at him to leave it alone; he doesn't want to be the reason Tim has another caffeine-induced breakdown).

I didn't figure this out until I was actually writing this fic, but it turns out I not only need to block in regular action scenes, I also need to block in the smut, because otherwise I will be sitting there having no fucking clue what to write (very affectionate)

So I now present what a zero draft of smut looks like! This is from a 5+1 in which there are five times Bruce and Dick fuck because of Poison Ivy's sex pollen and it "doesn't mean anything," plus one time they fuck because they actually want to:

Dick asks if they can take off their suits, it's too hot he's too hot, and Bruce says okay, that's a good idea, and internally he's panicking because oh no. Oh no. But the moment the words are out he sees the relief in Dick's face, and realises Dick needs to be told what to do right now, so he tells him clearly to strip, it'll help. Once Dick is fully naked in the other seat, he turns to Bruce and asks if he needs help with his armor. His hand is tentatively, almost shyly stroking his cock, and Bruce is really struggling to not watch. He tells him no, he doesn't, and takes off the chest plate and arm armor, but leaves what's left of his leg armor on. He decides he can safely put his hand under his boxers, but Dick makes a little noise, and when he looks over he can clearly see Dick watching him stroke himself. Oh fuck. He's cumming before he even realises it, his boxers getting wet and sticky and his cock still so maddeningly hard and he strokes himself through it, unable to stop himself from moaning even as he tries to keep himself in a clinical mindset. Dick asks to see him, and Bruce, despite knowing what a bad, horrible idea this is, pulls down his boxers to reveal his cock. Dick shifts his hand on his own cock to mimic what Bruce is doing, and Bruce has the horrible realisation that he doesn't even really know how to jerk himself off. Dear God, hopefully Alfred stays the fuck out of the Cave tonight.

So it's really just more of the same general blocking directions and vibes!

Another thing of note for zero drafts, I try to use as few words as possible to get what I need across. These are only ever intended to be seen by myself and a beta, assuming anyone else besides me even sees them at all, so I use slang and shorthand and leave notes for myself in the text itself

This can be a bit weird for when I show it to betas (or anyone else, for that matter!) because there are some fics where the tone or the vocabulary in the zero is incredibly modern despite the fic being in a historical or pre-modern setting!

And I have yet to actually write the first draft of that one, so I'm going to give you the first draft of the "Cue more smut (but this time against the batmobile 😌)" scene so that you can see the difference between the blocking and an Actual Scene:

Bruce had turned his back to him, bracing himself against the batmobile, and Dick took hold of Bruce's hip to hold him steady when he slid a finger into his hole. A soft moan was all he got in verbal response, but Bruce pushed against Dick's finger despite Dick's best efforts to do this slowly. Chuckling under his breath, Dick slid in a second finger, relishing in the clench of Bruce's muscle as he began working him open. “Easy, B,” he said softly, leaning over him enough to move his hand from Bruce's hip to his cock. Bruce growled and arched into his touch, taking in Dick's fingers completely. “Someone's in a rush tonight, huh?” He didn't get a verbal response, not that he ever did. Bruce rarely spoke while full, relying instead on nonverbal communication to indicate his needs. It hadn't taken long for Dick to become acquainted with his movements back when they started this; after all, fucking was no different from fighting, not for them, not when they had flown side by side across Gotham for more than half of Dick's life. And Dick knew Bruce would always try to get him to rush just a little, knew he'd give in like he always did, wanting to have his cock inside Bruce as soon as physically possible just as much as Bruce did. He wasted no more time, sliding his fingers out and releasing Bruce's cock just long enough to slick up his own. The small whine from Bruce at the loss of contact ought to be ignored, ought not be acknowledged, and Dick knew that, but he couldn't resist leaning over to kiss the small of Bruce's back. Bruce huffed at him, glaring over his shoulder. Dick met his eyes with a grin. Then Dick gripped Bruce's hip again, holding him steady while Bruce leaned back to meet him, and slipped into his tight heat. There was a soft moan from Bruce the moment he bottomed out; Dick leaned forward again to kiss up his spine, keeping his cock buried deep even while Bruce began to rock back into him.

I do think the fic for @ful-crum would be easier if I had proper blocking for the smut, but also I do love a good challenge and you live and you learn, so I'm not super invested in going back and blocking in the smut at this point in time!

And honestly, once the line edits are done that's pretty much it!

I keep a little "posting info" doc for each and every fic I write, to which I add tags as I come to them in writing, so that I don't have to think about what needs to be tagged at the end after I've already forgotten what I've written. That has saved my butt so many times ngl, especially for longfics!

But really what keeps me from posting more often, despite how much I write, is that I fully finish fics before I post them, even if I'm posting them on a weekly or whatever basis. This is mostly because I can't guarantee when I'll need to randomly take several months off of writing, and I don't want to leave anything unfinished, but also because I don't want to actually end up leaving something unfinished for a few years until I cycle back into the fandom

And that's it!! Thanks for tuning in to this little master class :) If I can clarify anything please let me know; I tried to explain everything that I thought needed it but I can never tell what others will need more clarification on!!

And also, thanks again for asking this!! I don't know many people who do full drafts, or even many people who don't completely pants everything they write, and so I'm always excited to discuss my process!! I also am a firm believer in "take what helps and leave the rest," so if you find something in my process that sounds like something you'd like to do, give it a whirl!! I think it's super important to share the different kinds of processes there can be for writing, because everyone really writes so differently, you know?

Anyway, thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoyed my shitty early drafts (very affectionate)!!

[cerucerus-main]

Seelie Guizhong. Crack theory but also like. not really?

Right, okay. So ya'll have heard of the "Descender Zhongli" theories, right?

So. The gist is that this theory states that Zhongli might've remembered Rukkhadevata, therefore he might potentially be one of the four(?) descenders that came to Teyvat. This is supported by his Character story 5 voiceline (According to WEi on youtube, check out the video) never changing the number 2. But, of course, other possible evidence include the fact that we don't know his actual age, and he was actually never mentioned to be born 6k years ago, just (and I literally quote,) Descended. His burst is a meteor. might make another deep dive into this theory sometime.

What do we know about Guizhong? She sings a lot, mentioned several times. she made the cleansing bell, which is like. robot music???? idk maybe Guizhong invented techno or something. Her favourite flower is the glaze lily, which reacts positively to singing- she sings to the flowers often. The point is that She is girlboss, first of all, and she is musically inclined.

Why is this relevant? Because we know the seelie are also musically inclined. One might argue that being musically inclined is not special, to which I say: every music-related deity we've met in genshin has been sus. Istaroth, Nabu Malikata, sus. Venti is related to istaroth, sus is a given.

Seelie were known to be wise, and guided humanity, something Guizhong preached. Other than that, nabu malikata was possibly a seelie, according to the Aranara, she was a survivor, implying that yes, survivors exist. Guizhong might've been one. Nabu malikata was also known as the "goddess of flowers", and the story is that paradisarahs went extinct when she died. Note that Paradisarah lore holds many, many parallels to Glaze Lily lore, although glaze lilies didn't actually go extinct courtesy of zhongli and the adepti. GoF and Deshret lore actually holds quite a number of parallels with Guizhong and Zhongli. We do not know guizhong's origins, either.

So- how does this tie in to descender!Zhongli?

Seelie lore states that a long time ago, a Seelie married a traveler from afar. days after, disaster struck- the tried to flee but it caught up with them. They were punished by being separated and their memories wiped. In the game, MC is referred to as Traveler. MC is an outlander, a descender. therefore, descenders may be referred to as travelers.

Zhongli might have been this Traveler, and Guizhong the seelie he married.

A long time ago, they might have been separated and had their memories wiped. This is not impossible for descenders, because such a thing happened to MC, where they are unaffected by irminsul, but a celestial might be able to mess with their memories. If this is the case, then having their memories wiped might've even be a precedent for Guizhong to create the memory of dust. If they lost their memories, it would make sense that Zhongli would only remember their first meeting way after the seelie fell- then again we never did know when exactly did they meet so there's that.

And (getting into major crack theory stuff here) it might even explain the mysterious circumstances of Guizhong's death... If they were never supposed to meet again, death was to separate them eternally. Or, the mere fact that she might be a seelie race survivor could have painted her as a target.

Here's a detail I noticed. Mondstadt, Liyue, and Ay-Khanoum are all named after the moon. They're the only cities with this, as far as we know. Ay-Khanoum translates to moon maiden. Mondstadt is german for Moon City. Liyue literally means Glazed Moon, or Jade Moon, using the 玉 (jade) in Liyue's Li 璃.

But anyway. thoughts?

[lakesbian]

Do you have any headcanons about Worm characters getting tossed in the infinity train?

this one is Inch Resting to sort out. i do not. Have Headcanons for this per se because i'd have to finagle out the logical details of making this crossover work first. which is going to be very longwinded because i love to say words.

trigger events happen when you hit a particularly isolated psychological low. the train picks you up when an internal problem of yours has you at a crossroads in life where the decision you make next will majorly impact your future. so they're similar-ish concepts, psychological problems resulting in Ostensibly Supernatural Fuckery with your life, but i don't think anyone's trigger events would be the same as their crossroads moments. trigger events always happen when you're having more or less the worst day of your life--the train could certainly get you on your worst day, but it's significantly more likely to pick you up right before you have the chance to make a decision which could lead to your worst day. actually, it's probably most likely to pick people up shortly after they trigger because they 1. have a fuckton of psychological issues and 2. just got a shiny new opportunity to make really bad decisions about it

this means that if you just flat out put the infinity train in worm--which i think would be very funny to do, throw another absolutely batshit worldbuilding device into earth bet, fuck those guys--the plot would Not Shake Out Right. the train would be kidnapping people left and right before anything could happen. the undersiders would probably never meet. etc.

example here: the train would pick alec up right as he's considering running away from the heartbroken up, he's on there for...a while, never gets hired by coil, you get the gist.

the other thing about this is that it's very textually canon in infinity train that if your problem is something the jarringly-twee train cars can't stumble into helping you sort out, then you can just straight up end up staying on it for decades! you can die there, the train doesn't give a fuck! and i think most worm characters are in the camp of "could Not be efficiently fixed by the train," which again, is going to result in some wild plot-fuckery. the shortest run we see someone have on the train in the show is a month. that's still a long-ass time. with the numbers worm characters would have, and with how badly their issues would clash w/ the train's approach? there's not even gonna be a world to go back to by the time they get their exits LMAO

(sidenote: i feel like people in worm would be significantly less likely to get on the train than ppl in inftr's universe. they'd see it and go "nope. that's DEFINITELY some fucked up and evil tinkertech. not touching that." hell, the PRT probably lies and tells people it's an a-class tinker because they don't want to admit they don't know what it is.)

anyway all of that is to say that this works best if we don't give a fuck about timeline continuity. beyond that all i know is i wanna put so many worm characters in their tapes so bad. the way tapes represent (or misrepresent) memories is SO clever and well done and tells you So Much about the characters. i want to see how fucked up and awful taylor's tape is. i wanna see alec trapped in his tape for god knows how long just sitting there watching himself from seven years ago cry and throw up. i wanna see the amy tape where everything but victoria is almost in grayscale. i wanna see the amount of memory repression and lying-to-himself going on in brian's tape. brian's tape would genuinely be worse than grace's in terms of how many memories are altered i think. play of his trigger event where it's exactly how he told it to taylor and then he Remembers He Was Lying and it plays back how it really happened and he has to think about how he was nearly pissing himself from fear ♥

and oh my god the numbers would be fun. if they run out of space on your skin they Canonically go into your mouth and start tattooing up your insides. get the slaughterhouse nine on there, jack slash can become world's first man to be walking around w/ a number inside his mouth.

[bonesandthebees]

YOOOOO that's so cool :00

My first dnd character was a cleric, but that one was premade for me, so the first one i properly played was actually a wood elf ranger lmaooo twinning

And then my 3rd character for a campaign I made was a human college of swords bard

My fav character I made tho (as a guest character) is a water genasi wild magic sorc :))) wild magic is SO MUCH FUN also i just love water vibes sooo rahhhs

I love all my characters tho

(Tho only the cleric campaign ever finished 😭😭 the other two got demolished from covid big rip, one day I'll get back into dnd... one day)

BUT YOOO THATS COOL!! I think i remember u mentioning smth abou the discord rp in an old ask. Feel free to ramble about ur character here !!! I'd love to learn more, that's so cool :000

going through older asks time anyway hi again icy

omg twinning with the elf rangers!!

oooo human college of swords bard sounds like a fun time. I think I technically started making another dnd character at one point for a different campaign that never turned out, but I think she was going to be a tiefling monk? oh well lost ideas...

ooooo a water genasi with wild magic sounds SO fun. I don't know the details of wild magic mechanics that well but from the little I do know it sounds like that would be a lot of fun

ok well. the discord rp thing I was a part of was technically a fandom thing but the people running it very quickly took the plot in their own direction and by the end it was pretty unrecognizable what media it was originally inspired by. but um that's just a disclaimer in case anyone recognizes the format. pls don't snitch. anyway I'm gonna ramble about it under the cut so it will be long I am sorry

anyway! the gist of the game was that all our characters were thrown into a discord server and told we had to participate in trials run by a godlike beings (entities) who liked tormenting people for entertainment and all that jazz. we would have to submit videos of us completing tasks given to us in order to stay alive, and later on could also participate in puzzle games in giant vc calls if we wanted to basically just get extra kudos with the entities.

the rp was mostly done through in character texting, but again we could also film videos for tasks, and could participate in ic vcs. the rp itself was improv, but there was a team of admins who played the entities running the game, while also having characters of their own that participated in the trials as well. these characters had their own larger plot going on, but along with that the admins would work with individual player characters and give each of us our own plotline that connected to the larger story. so actually very similar to how the qsmp works right now, and somewhat similar to how dsmp worked

also fun fact, we had a 3 lives system! and this was july 2020, so, like, we did it before dsmp lol.

every participant was assigned a number, and was only allowed to be referred to by that number in the in game discord server. so while most of our characters technically shared our actual ooc names, I think of my character by her number.

my girl's number was 28. technically this rp game was a sequel to a similar one we'd done way back in 2018, so 28 was a continuation of my character from that. 28 was known as a peacemaker in the group who tried to keep everyone else grounded, but wouldn't take shit from others. she was definitely one of the nicest people in the group, but would call out bullshit if she saw it. when us participants started trying to find ways to plot against the entities running the games, 28 ended up becoming more of a leader-figure in the group along with a few others and tried to keep things between the other participants stable as these death games just got more and more stressful.

these games spanned over the course of nearly 9 months in real time so it's impossible for me to talk about everything that happened, but some highlights include 28 falling in love with another participant (22) and the two of them continuing to date even when 22 started working directly for one of the entities running the tournament while 28 herself was one of the leaders of the rebellion against the entities. communication goes a long way LMAO

later on in the rp a rival entity organization basically hijacked the games and forced all the og entities running it to either hide or become participants themselves. with this rival organization one of the new entities (known as the quarterman) picked out 28 and basically forced her into working for him as a hitman. the change happened over the course of like a month with 28 hearing dimes whisper to her all the time, until her soul got ripped out of her body and put into a dime that she had to keep on her at all times. after this though she could teleport, which was pretty cool!

I loved 28 as a character bc she tried so hard to be kind and keep everyone together but it was such a stressful situation and people got so harsh and bitchy with each other (all in character of course. we'd all have a huge argument and then hop into the ooc server to meme about it). the conflict she had between wanting to help the rebellion while her own gf worked with the 'enemy' was sooo much fun to rp. and of course my lovely friend lisa who played 22 was an amazing rp partner to have. lisa if you're reading this I miss our girls :(

it was just such a fun experience overall. I once had to order some really weird stuff off amazon once to build a fake radiation detector for a task video and my mom straight up thought I was building a bomb 😭 We did in character vcs both for plot but also sometimes we'd just drink and chat ic. the admins I worked with were so lovely and I'm so glad I had that experience bc it taught me so much about how rp games like that work and what style of improv rp I like. fun times :,)

[whenthechickencry]

Umineko EP4. Replay Part 1

Certainly not her genes, Kryie, also Rudolf sees through Kyrie in that even when she's talking friendly about Asumu she's burning with jealousy. Certainly was never a healthy dynamic in any case.

The talk of miracles here is so interesting and I will probably talk about it in more detail later. Rika's belief in a miracle is what allowed her to break through her dead-end fate. Ange's belief in a miracle is what is slowly destroying her life. I don't think either framing is entirely right or wrong, and unlike others, I don't see Umineko as a sort of response/rebuttal to Higurashi as much as something that expands on its themes, but still... it's really interesting to think about.

You can tell that R07 has been in kind of damage control mode for Beatrice since the end of ep3 lol. He really needs to hammer it isn't as black and white as you might think and she isn't just an evil monster who tricked Battler for fun.

This is a really funny scene too, by the way.

Battler's is, as Beato says, in a lot better state than last time shit like this happened. I think he got the general gist that Beato wasn't acting 100% and that there is more to what is going on than meets the eye.

Ange's right. Battler is starting to try and seriously understand Beatrice's heart but that's opposed to Ange's purposes, which are for him to completely trample on her heart as soon as possible so she can get Battler back.

You can tell Ane's view of others is really warped by now, it's basically a less over-the-top version of Erika. Sure if you never trust anyone you will never get tricked but you will never build genuine relations either...

This is in complete opposition to how Satoko entered the school in GouSotsu, so I guess the schools work differently across... universes or whatever it is you would call this.

Well... considering the events of this chapter where she continuously gets attempted to get murdered by her family I can't really blame her for strongarming Ange's family....

The game is pretty clear the abuse didn't take long to start.... it's easy to take a more sympathetic reading of Eva later but it is clear she bears responsibility for attempting to take care of a child she was in no way emotionally capable of doing at the time.

Ha.... the way Maria got mocked at her school but she didn't get it and saw it as genuine praise really makes me think she has autism... I remember at school laughing along at jokes I didn't get until I finally got that the joke was disparaging me. The game doesn't show this as an entirely negative thing, though... after all she is able to create 1s from 0s. Also, I am not disparaging Ange in any way but it shows the level of her isolation that the closest image to best friend she can conjure in her head is the girl she hung out with once a year on a family conference.

I have never heard of enchilada cheesecakes before and now I want to try them out.

....uh huh Rosa....

It's no surprise Ange latched on to the diary.... she does the same magic Maria does towards Rosa to Rudolf. "He sometimes came home at my birthday so he loved me a lot" aka he couldn't be bothered to even be at my birthday usually.

Haha.... this scene is so sad to read.... Rosa is constantly embarrassed of Maria even in his idealized version of the scene.

Huh... I wonder if this kind of bullying is common for autistic children? This is exactly word for word what was done to me in school.

This is also a common thing for abused people to think, I used to think I had to stay in abusive relationships because if I didn't someone else would get abused. I am sometimes kind of in awe about how R07 can accurately represent many kinds of situations.

It's not really sustainable in the long term for Maria, though. She can pretend she isn't sad and that she's fine all she wants but in the end, she chose the Golden Land over living. You can't exactly blame Maria for her thinking like this, though, she's just a 9-year-old making the best of an awful situation.

In other words, "I am glad I can neglect my daughter now that she has a stuffed toy I bought at a supermarket to keep her company instead of me"

Rosa, you set way too many fucking rules for someone that can't even be bothered to get home.

Maria knows perfectly that her mom considers her an embarrassment, huh.....

Man, Ange is so fucking depressed.... almost every line she says has a hint of extreme sadness behind it....

He uh.... didn't ask that Maria.... you can really tell she's extremely lonely.

Okonogi shows up and immediately wants Ange to do something that would kill her, lmfao.

Okonogi hits the mark right on the head but mixes up "Yasu" and "Eva" which is pretty interesting!

Of course, the one who actually had that ring was Yasu and not Kinzo at the time, so Okonogi's theory came from false assumptions.

I had.... completely forgotten that Okonogi of all people was the one to introduce the concept that without love, it can't be seen... haha I was very shocked here. Okonogi is also pretty much 100% right here, esp wrt Ange being unequipped to find the truth as she is.

An impressive resume would be a shame if you would get beaten and tortured by a nine-year-old girl.

Ange's already making hints about the fact it's really a suicide plan more than anything, Beatrice and Ange parallels are bigger later on but the fact they both had elaborate suicide plans with Rokkenjima is interesting to me...

[kitkatt0430]

At some point I intend to write the fic about Herobard's adventure with Bart and Thad that I've alluded to a few times in the Eobard vs. Eobard fics.

The gist of it has been thus far that Eo undershot his attempt to reach 2014 and wound up around 52 years off - placing him in 2066 or thereabouts, I'd need to check back in my fics to make sure I'm remembering correctly when exactly I stuck that adventure in the timeline. Eobard and Gideon almost immediately find themselves in the middle of a fight between Impulse and Inertia - here identical twins and thus naturally occurring clones. Thad's been using the negative speed force and it's been affecting his emotions, playing up his anger and messing with his personality as a result.

The backstory I'm still a bit fuzzy on - how did Thad wind up using what he knew was the dark side of the speed force? - but there's also the usual family resentments going on too. Despite being identical twins, Bart's always had the stronger connection to the Speed Force and he needed mentoring to master that connection a lot earlier than Thad did. They love each other, but they don't talk about how it seemed to Thad like Bart was the favorite child who got special attention. Or that to Bart it felt like he had to grow up faster than Thad did and it was a lot of responsibility that was isolating for him when all he wanted was to feel more normal... like Thad. So the family issues? Those I'm pretty solid on.

When Eobard shows up it's getting to the point where Thad's made quite the menace of himself and the Flash fam is getting worried he's going to hurt someone soon. And at least one person is advocating stripping Thad of his connection altogether, which Bart is vehemently against.

Eo helps out Bart upon arriving and lets Thad get away when Bart asks it of him, so he hits it off pretty well with Impulse. Inertia was the Professor's student when he was still learning the ropes of being a speedster, while Impulse had training from Max Mercury - don't know if I'll name drop him or not, but it'll be Max whether I'm vague or specific - so Bart doesn't realize who Eo is. Or will be, anyway.

Once Eo and Gideon have the details of what's going on, they come up with a plan to stop Thad. Which immediately goes off the rails and Eo winds up winging it. He's successful in getting through to Thad, who does realize who Eobard is and is shocked to be face to face with the young version of the man he kind of considers a second father. Thad has the presence of mind not to tell Eo that he'll be the Professor one day, but it's a near thing. Gideon will probably suspect something.

Once Thad makes up his mind to stop using the Negative speed force it puts him in a bit of a detox/withdrawal situation - the N!SF is addictive and the temptation to use it is always gonna be there. But Thad and Bart reconcile and start actually talking about their feelings about their childhood and their relationship will probably be stronger once they finally work out their issues.

It'll be implied throughout the whole thing that OG!Flash (Barry) and the Professor (Eobard) disappeared on a trip to the future right before Thad's use of the N!SF is first revealed. Of course, it's because they knew what was going to happen and needed to get out of the way to let young Eo connect to Thad in a way that Thad wouldn't be willing to hear from an older, wiser Eobard.

I'd probably include an epilogue with the older Barry and Eo when they return from their jaunt to the future. Older Eo and Thad having a long talk while Bart finally realizes who his new friend actually is and gets to know his namesake, Barry.

Barry and Eo are semi-retired-ish at this point in their lives and there's someone else going around as the Flash. Haven't decided who, yet.

Bart and Thad in this are probably Thawnes descended from Iris and Eddie. I don't think I've mentioned last names for them that would contradict that, but if I have that's what the edit button is for. Meloni being Thad's descendant would certainly be a fun Easter egg to throw in, but I'm not 100% on that decision at the moment. Especially since I'm intent on Meloni not being a speedster.

And of course we'll know that younger Eo does reach 2014 eventually only to discover another N!SF user causing trouble for the Flash...

[alex51324]

Okay, does anyone remember what we do when we see rage bait?

We slow the fuck down.

In information literacy instruction, we use the acronym SIFT. It stands for :

Stop (Or Slow the fuck down)

Investigate the source

Find other coverage

Trace back to the original source

Here, all we're told about the source is that it's an article in The Atlantic. I already know that The Atlantic is a mainstream, somewhat left-of-center (by US standards) general-interest magazine. Based on that, I would expect its coverage to be pro-Israel, but still acknowledge that Palestinians are human beings and killing children is bad. (And, spoiler, that's pretty much what happens in the article.)

Finding other coverage is difficult because it's not really clear from the excerpt what this article is covering: it's definitely something to do with Palestine, and civilian casualties, and the technical definitions of war crimes, but that is a big topic. So I'm going to put that to one side for the moment.

Tracing back to the original source is easy: I just picked a distinctive phrase from the excerpt--not the inflammatory one--and put it into Google. Here's the article. (The Atlantic wants you to create an account to view X number of free articles a month, but the 12-foot ladder works.)

Here's the title, subtitle, and author:

The UN’s Gaza Statistics Make No Sense The actual death toll matters—first, because of the dignity of those killed or still living. By Graeme Wood

So that tells us some important context already, about what the article is about and why it's important. The author is saying that we don't know how many people have been killed in Gaza, and we should.

The first paragraph of the article gives us the more immediate context for why he's talking about this topic right now: the UN just revised its official figure for the death toll in Gaza, downward, by a lot. That seems fishy.

It turns out that what happened is that the UN changed which department of Hamas it gets its numbers from. The higher number comes from their media office, the lower one from the Ministry of Health.

The lower number, it turns out, is the number of confirmed dead: identified deceased people, or unidentified remains in a morgue/some kind of official setting. The higher number includes things like,

If, for example, first responders bring in a body, and they say seven other bodies are probably still under the rubble, the body in the morgue would count as identified and the seven others as unidentified.

The article emphasizes that this is an example, and Hamas isn't providing details on how this number is calculated. The author then goes on to talk about how the UN is being cagey about the source of its numbers, and then the second half of the article--which is where the inflammatory statement comes in--is about how Israel, by limiting journalists and other outside observers' access to Gaza, is not helping itself beat those war crimes allegations.

The gist is kind of that he, the author, would really like to believe them that they aren't doing war crimes, but they're making it very difficult.

Which, again, is kind of what you'd expect from a mainstream, left-of-center publication in the US at this point: extreme reluctance to criticize Israel, but describing things that they could be criticized for.

The inflammatory line is true: a child being killed in a war zone isn't automatically a war crime. This is something that isn't usually acknowledged, for obvious reasons. But, for instance, a factory that manufactures weapons would generally be considered a legitimate target, and if a child happened to be, say, visiting their parent at work when that factory is bombed, that's not a war crime*.

So that's the context for that line. When I first started writing this, I was going to say that it's still badly phrased, but now that I've thought about it more, I think it's phrased that way on purpose.

Israel is killing kids in Gaza. That is definitely happening, and getting bogged down in the minutia of whether that is or isn't technically a war crime, that gives us psychological distance from the sheer fact that it is definitely happening.

Israel can't make themselves look better by being more transparent, because--even if they are, actually, technically adhering to the laws of war--what they're doing is still shocking to the conscience. The nature of this war--that it's taking place in a small, densely populated area, where the whole thing is effectively a combat zone but noncombatants cannot leave--makes atrocities inevitable.

The conclusion here--which, I want to be clear, the author of this article stops well short of actually saying--is that, even if you accept that Israel has legitimate security interests in Gaza, you have to acknowledge that it has created a situation where it cannot defend those interests without killing kids.

And once you acknowledge that, you either have to decide that killing kids is somehow OK in this instance, or you have to admit that Israel's entire doctrine vis-a-vis Gaza is fundamentally flawed. Those are the choices, and if you can't stomach the first one, you have to accept the second--even if you, like the author of the article and like most moderate liberals in the US, you are extremely reluctant to criticize Israel.

(*Also, and this is even more saying the quiet part out loud, but you get that saying "it's possible to kill a child legally" is a savage indictment of the very concept of war crimes, right? If we can't find a way to draw the line that doesn't allow at least some child murder--an act that every human society considers morally abhorrent--then maybe the entire idea of a morally acceptable way to conduct war is bullshit.)

If you, for some reason, still have a subscription to the Atlantic, cancel it

[doodleoogles]

"Whatever happened to whatshisface anyway?" Liv tried to ask carefully but the alcohol was far more in control at 2AM if you've been drinking since 7PM. It came out more profound than she intended.

It felt like a pinch in my chest, good thing she didn't mention the name as it would've felt heavier. "I don't want to talk about it." I stared at the dark brown liquid in my shot glass - an expensive, sweetened, flavored poison which would make certain memories go away if you drink an ample amount.

Liv lifted her feet and crossed her legs in front of her, "Aren't you gonna tell? Just a summary? The gist of it?" she picked up a small piece of grilled pork from the huge bowl in front of us. She eyed me before popping it into her mouth.

I drank from the shot glass before answering, "Short version - it was my lack of better judgement. I ignored the signs and went on with everything because it was fun and good for my ego. He's not who I thought he is, that's all."

"I knew it!" she said loudly. Mark nudged her gently, casting an uneasy glance towards me.

Despite feeling like shit, the silver lining here is my circle of friends. I suck at choosing 'decent' guys but luckily I didn't screw up in the friendship department. These people have been with me for quite some time, they were there during the happy celebratory days but even more so during the nights when I need to ugly cry at 3AM while the world quietly sleeps.

I think about Mr.Good-for-nothing-sad-excuse-for-a-human-being (I have to come up with a shorter nickname for this guy..) , I've known him for years and even when we were friends, I never really saw him with a tribe. I can name one person he's really close to but that's just about it. I don't think bandmates / scene 'cults'(?) really count if all you do every meet up is some jamming sessions, gig, few food and beer while brainstorming or licking each others' balls. We had something for 3 months but it's always bands and gigs for this guy, some old high school friends, a few drinking buddy neighbors but I didn't see any real 'bond' there. I thought it was kinda weird considering his age that he doesn't seem to have found 'his people' yet. Of course, that's another red flag I ignored.

My main circle consists of the band I'm managing and those who aren't in the music scene. They all get along really well and we bond over so many things even though from the outside, they may look like polar opposites. Not to mention my other smaller circle of girlfriends from work who I usually gossip and share memes with. I smiled at the thought of them.

"It's fine, you can proceed with your intrusive thoughts." I calmly said as I poured myself another shot.

"Nah, I dunno. Something feels so off about him. Like first time you invited him over right? I was drunk but OK not too drunk I can remember I was blabbering about Engineer guy and all yada yada.." she paused to get another pork from the bowl, she chewed slowly before continuing, "When you were sleeping, he was very pushy on his opinion like yeah you're a girl you HAVE to insist that whatever.."

Mark nodded, "And he was talking and preaching like he know Engineer guy or every damn detail about life and relationships in general."

"Like for me, hold on I only need to vent. I don't need anyone telling me what to do or debate over every aspect of what rights do I have as a girl. It's not about gender really, it's about my confusion over so many things but he missed the point entirely. he was almost judging the guy he didn't even know." Liv leaned back on the sofa after talking.

I remember my Threads post last December, he was so mad when he read all the backlash he got from the strangers on the internet. He said they don't even know him personally. He had to get verbal confirmation from someone else to say that he's not the kind of person everyone is judging him for. It's true I begged for sympathy, I went public and lashed out on him. It was the only outlet I could think of at that time. I was hurt, confused, angry, I thought I was really okay with them getting back together but when he stopped reaching out to me, all the pieces of the puzzle finally fit together and I saw the hideous picture behind the glossy facade. He's a seasoned liar and a hypocrite.

"Well, it's over. I have you guys, that's enough." I raised my shot glass, " Here's to genuine friendships…."

[an-aroaces-harem]

Ivy Chapter 19 Normal Attire Story

DISCLAIMER: I just deepl and google translated my way through this because I wanted to know what’s going on, so there are definitely mistakes but I believe I managed the general gist of the story. Anyway, it’s just a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes. Morganatic Idol belongs to Cybird and ABC Frontier, Inc.

Ivy-san, who was more upset than I had ever seen him, continued to hold me tight, but ...

Ivy: ... It's all right now.

Eventually, with a wry smile, he let go of my body.

Ivy: I'm sorry I'm so distraught. You were the one who had a hard time, but I can't be like this.

Rina: No way ... I'm glad you're worried about me.

Ivy: It's a relief to hear you say that.

Ivy: ... I won't let him get close to you, and from now on, I'll protect you.

Rina: Thank you very much. Ivy-san ...

His gentle smile finally brought relief to my heart.

... At the same time, I felt something strange in my body.

(Somehow it feels strange.)

Ivy: ... What's wrong?

Rina: I felt relieved ... but now I feel a little feverish.

When Ivy-san heard this, his expression clouded.

Ivy: That's terrible. It may be because of everything that's happened.

Ivy: You'd better go to bed. I'll get you something to drink. In the meantime, you can change your clothes.

With these words, he hurried out of the room.

Meanwhile, I change into my pajamas and go back to bed.

Within a short time, he returned with a plastic bowl, water bottles, and towels in his hands.

Ivy: I'm back. I see you've changed your clothes.

Ivy: Here, take a sports drink.

Rina: Thank you very much.

I received a plastic bottle that he had brought for me, and was grateful to drink from it.

The cool, sweet moisture seemed to seep into even the most strained heart.

Rina: ... It's delicious.

Seeing me let out an involuntary sigh, Ivy-san smiled.

Ivy: I'm glad. You'd better make sure you drink enough water.

Ivy: Now, lie down properly afterwards.

He gently pats me on the head and lays me down on the bed.

Ivy: How's the fever?

With that, his face came closer and our foreheads were pressed together.

Rina: ...

I forgot to breathe as I stared at the well-shaped face at close range.

Ivy: ... You're still feverish. That must be why you feel so tired.

Rina: Y-yes ...

Ivy-san said in a concerned voice, but I didn't have time to worry about that.

(Because ... he's so close.)

My heart was beating wildly and my face was getting even hotter ...

Ivy: You need to take it easy today and go to bed.

Ivy: Don't worry. I'll be there for you so that you won't be lonely.

Rina: I'm glad you're here, Ivy-san ... but I'm not a child, okay?

Ivy: Of course, I understand.

Ivy: Come on, you need to lie down now.

Rina: Okay ...

After that, he continued to take care of me ... wiping my sweat, placing wet towels on my forehead and so on.

In the past, I might have felt depressed that I was being treated like a sister again.

But now I know that he's thinking of me from the bottom of his heart ...

(I'm glad Ivy-san is taking care of me.)

The fever and the exchange with Yamauchi-san earlier may have taken a toll on me.

And then ... my head was being stroked by a gentle hand.

Before I knew it, I fell asleep.

A little later ...

Hitaki: Oh, Ivy-san?

Hitaki stops Ivy as he comes out of Rina's room.

Hitaki: I was told this is her room, right? You were a little noisy just now. What happened?

Ivy: Oh, she has been feeling a little under the weather, so I've been taking care of her.

Ivy didn't elaborate on the details of the situation.

Hitaki: Oh? I'm worried about her. I think I'll go visit her later.

Ivy: She doesn't need it. ... She has me, so it's okay.

Hitaki gazed at Ivy, who smiled at him with the face of a dependable leader as usual.

Hitaki: ... Is that so? Well, that's all right.

Ivy: Yeah. ... Okay, then.

As he was about to leave ... Ivy suddenly stopped.

Ivy: I remember you telling me before, Hitaki.

Hitaki: Huh?

Ivy: "Sometimes the most precious things that we take for granted can suddenly disappear one day."

Ivy: You were right. I knew exactly what you meant. ... No, I knew it, but I forgot.

Ivy: ... I hope I never have to go through that again. Don't let anything precious be lost ...

Ivy: I have to make sure to protect her properly.*

Hitaki: ... What are you talking about?

Ivy: No, I was talking to myself ... Well then. Good night.

Hitaki: Eeh ...

Ivy quickly returned to his 'normal smile' and turned away from Hitaki.

Hitaki: ...

... Hitaki stared at him as he left with light steps.

Note: Do I even have to tell you that Ivy said this with dead eyes?

⤷ next chapter

[abcdosaka]

had a really interesting and weirdly comforting and sad dream last night. i forgot most of the details but i kinda remember the gist of it or at least the feelings it gave me.

it was some sort of dream where i saw s and a few other friends too i think. i don't remember where we were or what the real plot of the dream was other than i think s and i had already stopped talking to each other but we happened to see each other somewhere. i'm not really sure how that went although i think it was a little bitter but after that there was some couple that had broken up and we had to work together to get them back together. it was kinda like a buddy cop movie like rush hour or like an adam sandler comedy movie the whole vibe was just silly and fun. i'm pretty sure there were like zombies or something too. somehow we succeeded and we talked and worked through our problems and almost became friends again. waking up from those sorts of dreams is weird bc i get up feeling so comforted and stable and then i slowly come back to reality like oh it's actually not like this at all.

i kinda know the reason why i had this dream out of nowhere though. it may or may not be obvious right now but my life is pretty stagnant at the moment. i love doing the whole fake scenario thing in my head before i sleep and what better inspiration is there than stuff i've already experienced right? i was also high last night too.

i also tend to go back to my memories from early this year where everything was chaotic and my anxiety was driving me nuts but things were at least in motion. yes there's a little bit of motion for me now but i'm so isolated from people like face-to-face that i have almost no motivation. like i should start apartment hunting since i'm gonna be moving halfway across the country in a few months but honestly its hard to care about myself or my future. sometimes i wanna fuck it up. really sucks that i need people.

well, maybe i'll try sending some emails tonight or tomorrow night. i'm flying to visit the office again this week and there's a holiday party which i'm weirdly looking forward to. honestly any excuse to drink with other people.

[oblivious-aro]

This was pretty much my exact same thought process a week before I made this post. I do get where you're coming from, but here's a question: when does the episode explicitly condemn Danny for cheating? Does TUE actually say “cheaters deserve to watch their family die”?

Furthermore, consider this line from the end of the episode:

Remembering this line was my turning point. Clockwork is a very wise character (he was literally just established to be omniscient right before saying this), and he’s the one teaching Danny the lesson TUE wants him to learn. If the lesson is supposed to be ‘cheating is bad’, wouldn't that be completely undone by having Clockwork immediately turn around and, by his own admission, and in those exact words, “cheat”? It’s a very prominent line with a lot of attention called to it, too.

“Cheating is bad” is the kind of moral you’d expect this kind of kids cartoon to make, so I think a lot of us preemptively filled in that blank without truly listening to what the episode was actually saying. I get it, I watched my sister struggle through the public education system while getting practically no help or sympathy from it, and I'm sure a lot of viewers were in the same boat as her. Academic pressure can be a sensitive subject, especially if it looks like a character is being chastised for struggling, but that's not what’s happening here. We jumped the gun. The text doesn’t look down on Danny for wanting to cheat. He’s in a difficult position, and being forced further and further into a corner is a feature of the story, not a bug. Danny's situation feels unfair so that the audience understands why he wants to cheat:

"OK! I get it! You're brilliant, I'm stupid, and I'll never be able to get as high a score as you."

"Guys, come on. I'd love to have spent the last month studying, but I was fighting ghosts! Besides, if you two think this test is so meaningless, why do you even care if I cheat? Why shouldn't I open this up and study the answers, huh?"

TUE’s stance isn’t that “cheating is evil”, it’s “cheating isn’t worth the risk”. Despite what Danny’s been led to (erroneously) believe, he’ll have other chances and opportunities if he does badly on a test, even one this big. There are people in his corner looking out for him (Mr. Lancer gives him to come forward even when he knows Danny stole the answers, and literally offers him a make-up test. Clockwork messes with the timeline just to tell Danny that he’s a good kid who deserves more than one chance), but getting caught cheating really could screw up his future. You could still say that’s an anti-cheating message, but the writers do show more sympathy for Danny than people give them credit for.

I don't think the concepts are that abstract. Everything that happens in the present is presented directly, and the main idea you need to get out of the future stuff (bad stuff happened because Danny got caught cheating) is pretty simple and clear. Everyone I've heard talk about the episode seems to get the basic idea.

As for all these events caused by Clockwork… yeah that's 100% true. But given that Clockwork is all-knowing, the master of time, and clearly sympathetic to Danny, it can only be assumed he’s doing what he can to help Danny. Omniscient/psychic characters are kind of weird like that. They make the stories they’re in a bit messy, and you can't really judge their actions by typical standards (ie. Garnet from Steven Universe). Same with time travel, but I won't go into much into detail, because this post is long enough and discussing rules around time travel can get overly technical, but the gist of it is Clockwork is on Danny’s side, but he’s working under some very specific restraints, either from The Observants or from the natural laws of the timestream.

Danny isn’t being taught that cheating makes him bad, he’s being taught not to place such unhealthy (and unrealistic) importance on his academic performance. Sure, this lesson isn’t explicitly stated in exact words, much like the themes in Teacher of the Year, but I don’t think it’s fair to say that the writers were just trying to condemn Danny in either intent or execution.

And as was the original point of this post, the episode really speaks for itself:

"Maybe that's all anybody needs…a second chance."

"I guess the future isn't as set in stone as you think it is."

"And here we are with you, a fourteen-year-old child, risking everything to save the people you care about. You've given everyone else a second chance. Why not you?"

Me for years: I can't believe The Ultimate Enemy is telling kids they deserve something as horrible as watching your entire family die for cheating on a test!

the Ultimate Enemy: