#I don't really post much triggering stuff but every now and then i do or i do some vent art or a vent post so

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

This is all I've read this month, in chronological order. Every month I always think it's too little but unfortunately it's the best I can do.

Please give love to these writers, reblog and comment because they are very talented and deserve so much.

As for me, you won't see me posting for a while. I'll be back sooner or later but I can't say when. Writing has always been a joy for me but I haven't felt well lately and I don't even feel like opening my wip files (stuff that nobody needs anyway so who cares, I’m just another stupid voice in the chaos), let alone finding an idea that doesn't make me gag.

If you need to ask me something for my challenge I'll be here for you but for the rest I probably won't be that active, sorry.

Please mind the tags and warnings to make sure a story doesn’t trigger you and makes you uncomfortable, I’m not responsible for what you choose to read, only you are.

Biting down - @psychedelic-ink

Joel Miller x f!reader

you finally go and get your nipples pierced.

Give me Hell - @aurorawritestoescape

Stepdad!Joel Miller x f!reader

you come home drunk and Joel isn’t happy. He decides to teach you a lesson.

Yes Sir - @probablyreadinsmut

Dave York x f!reader

Drabble, gun smut

Untitled - @mybvalentine

Joel Miller x f!reader

(Un)faithful chapter 2 - @probablyreadinsmut

Javier Peña x f!reader

After Javier takes a bold step into the bathroom, your friendship dynamic takes a dramatic turn.

Finite eternity - @sizzlingcloudmentality

Professor Reed Richards x f!reader

after getting your phd you return to your former professor to thank him. he says some nice things and you get a "you're coming" guarantee. coming to dinner that is.

Love me like a loaded gun - @joelmillerisapunk

fuckbuddy!Javier Peña x f!reader

Javier Peña is a man who never stays, but that doesn’t stop him from showing up at your door, seeking solace in the only way he knows how.

-or-

my interpretation of Cinnamon Girl by Lana Del Rey if it was a Javi fic

You oughta know - @yxtkiwiyxt

Joel Miller x f!reader

You and Joel return from a double date, and you find out he’s jealous of your colleague, Frankie  

Going down - @aurorawritestoescape

Joel Miller x f!reader | Frankie Morales x f!reader

you have a hot boyfriend and a hot ex who’s still obsessed with you. Why not get the best of both worlds?

BDSMaid epilogue - Series Masterlist @mountainsandmayhem

Joel Miller x f!reader

After recently graduating from university, your best friend offers you a job cleaning luxury homes for clients you’ll never know. It’s only temporary and a good way to save money for when you go back to get your law degree. That’s what you’re promised at least. Easy. Simple. Mundane. That is, until one of your clients is home and everything that you felt was missing in your life starts to fall into place. This goes against the NDA you signed and you could get fired. Or worse, you could fall in love.

Untitled thigh riding - @probablyreadinsmut

Javier Peña x f!reader

What happens behind Buc-ees stays behind Buc-ees - @probablyreadinsmut

Joel Miller x f!reader

56 year old Joel Miller spends his days as a blue collar contractor busy on the job site, though his idea of being 'busy' involves standing around cat-calling ladies all day long. One day he tries his luck with you and he gets more than he bargained for in the process.

Naughty thoughts - @aurorawritestoescape

Professor!Joel Miller x f!reader

you’re failing Prof. Miller’s class and he finds a punishment for you.

Owned Collection - @milla-frenchy

Joel Miller x fem reader

Family time - @greenwitchfromthewoods

Frankie Morales x f!reader

you came back from your parents in a really bad mental state

What If We Kissed In The Buc-ee's Bathroom?

CatCaller!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Ol' Joel has done goofed, he's let you into his life and now you've completely turned it upside down. Oh and we're doing more than just kissin' it that bathroom ;)

Girl Dinner part 4 - Masterlist - @slimybeth69 Dead Dove Do Not Eat

Joel Miller x f!reader

After the civilized world you once knew came to an end-- the men that survived... well they just take, take, take. Growing tired of having things taken from you-- you have a hankerin' to take somethin' for yourself... and make him perfect.

Perfect Match - @aurorawritestoescape

Dieter Bravo x f!reader x Marcus Pike (lactation kink)

Dieter becomes a face of a dating app and meets you and your husband while shooting an ad for it. Feeling an immense attraction, he invites you both to his penthouse, planning to enjoy the night and you to the fullest.

Untitled - @letsgobarbs

Kermit (Pedro Pascal Close Encounter 50th) x AFAB!Reader

PWP with Kermit

Hold my hand - @aurorawritestoescape

Clint x f!reader

you have good news for Clint and it seems that you two are ready for another big step in your relationship.

The Senator’s secret - @baronessvonglitter

modern!Oberyn Martell x fem!Reader x modern! Senator!Marcus Acacius

An old flame invites you to be his fake girlfriend so he can spend the evening with his new secret lover. It doesn't hurt that the three of you are attracted to each other..

Shameless - @milla-frenchy

Lucien De Leon x fem reader

you ask Lucien to come over and he does exactly what you need him to

Vices - @baronessvonglitter

Din Djarin x OFC x bi! f!Reader x OMC

You're not one to be shy of your vices, but a night with a mysterious woman has you and your work partner Din chasing new highs.

Visitation - @gothcsz

Javier Peña x f!reader

Javier visits you in prison after putting you in there.

(Un) faithful - @probablyreadinsmut (Chapter 3)

Series Masterlist

After an admission from Lorraine, you and Javier take some time to think about what you both want, but after a tortorous round of golf with Randy and your husband, the writing on the wall becomes visible for both you and Javi.

Bottoms up - @joelmillerisapunk

bfd!Joel Miller x bfstepdad!Arthur Morgan x f!reader

a threesome sex pollen fic where two men kiss

Iron hand - @thundermartini

Arthur Morgan x f!reader

Back in Saint Denis to recharge after a bounty, Arthur makes an unforgettable encounter. Fate makes you cross paths again months later.

Dark Room - @gothcsz

Javier Peña x f!reader

Accidentally getting locked in the photo developing room with Javier.

For you I’d steal the stars - @gothcsz // Drabble

Marcus Acacius x POC f!reader

The afternoon - @frannyzooey

Joel Miller x f!reader

Preciosa - @lotusbxtch

Pero Tovar x f!wife!reader

You would have never predicted that such a delicate thing would be Pero Tovar’s undoing.

Last Call - @mrs-hardy-hunnam-butler-pascal

Joel Miller x f!reader

After you breakup with your boyfriend of 6 years, you head to the bar to wait while he packs up his shit at your place. Joel is a bartender in the bar you randomly picked. Will fate bring you together? tldr: Joel talks you through it.

The Condom - @toxicanonymity / Drabble

Javi P x f!reader x Steve Murphy

Good Boy - @sp00kymulderr / Drabble

Joel Miller x trans male reader

We shouldn’t have done that - @yxtkiwiyxt

dbf! joel miller (or maybe it's just dad’s buddy) x f!reader

It's been a while since you've seen Joel, not since that 'moment' that happened between you two. Now, you have to face him when Sarah calls you in a panic, asking for a ride from a party because her friends are too drunk to drive.

[im-traumatised]

Teenage me is so loud these days. A voice in the back of my head that doesn't stop screaming to be heard. I'm sorry I couldn't be the person you wanted to become.

[unforth]

Alright not to like liveblog my breakdown on main but yesterday was a really bad day after a really bad, like, 4 months, and I've hit a bit of a breaking point and one of the only things in my life that can give is running @mdzsartreblogs , @tgcfartreblogs , @svsssartreblogs , @erhaartreblogs , @tykartreblogs , and @cnovelartreblogs , so that is what has to give. It's been a 99-out-of-100 days thankless job. A small number of people do say thank you and yall I appreciate you so much (HUGE shout-out to the artist I met at Flamecon who gifted me a zine when I said I ran these blogs, @bonesblubs you rock) but I have never done an act of fandom labor simultaneously this labor intensive yet this invisible before and, uh. It sucks. I spend an hour or more a day on this every day, if it's under 2k hours since I started the first of these in September 2020 I'd be shocked. And I do it because I love it but doing it means I don't have time or energy to do other things I love. And I really don't want to just quit, but I can't keep this up.

In a last-ditch effort to try not to just give up, I'm making the following changes:

1. Only watching one tag per fandom for the MXTX fandoms. I am going to check *only* #tgcf, #svsss, and #mdzs. Artwork posted to any other tag, I will not see unless a mutual reblogs it.

2. Reduced tagging (even more). I'm only going to tag characters and maybe overarching au type (eg, "modern au," "fantasy au"). I'll no longer tag creatures. I will continue to tag the same common trigger warnings I already tag.

3. If a work's appearance doesn't make it obvious what it is AND the tags aren't clear, I'm not going to reblog. I can't keep spending 5 minutes or more trying to figure out what I'm even looking at, scared that if I guess wrong the artist will get mad at me for mistagging their work. If I do reblog, I'll tag only the artist name and/or whatever else I can identify for sure.

4. I am no longer going to follow #link click. The fandom is just too big. I've started dreading checking it. If I was more into it and less busy I would make another spin off just for it but neither of those is true. (The art is so good, I hate to do this, but. If you love link click, highly recommend the main tag, lots of great stuff there.)

5. I will no longer tag any non-cnovel content in the art/post. Like, if someone draws, idek, Xie Lian and Marinette from Ladybug, I'm not gonna put any tags for Marinette, just for Xie Lian.

6. Basically if I run into something hard to tag or confusing or unclear, my new policy is I'm not gonna fricken bother.

I think those are everything but idefk, I cried for 3 hours last night and got 4 hours of sleep so I'm mostly fueled by exhaustion and desperation right now and my memory is even more fried than usual.

How artists can help. This is obviously all optional. You do you. But since some people might want to know what would make my life easier, I'm sharing. I'm not claiming I feel entitled to dictate how people fandom or anything like that.

1. Put the tags for the character(s) and ship(s) early in the tag list.

2. If you make art for a fandom that isn't one of the big ones (right now the only big danmei fandoms on tumblr as far as I can tell are the MXTX fandoms and maybe 2ha) I am begging you to use my tracked tag #cnovelartreblogs

3. Do mdzs art? Tag #mdzs. Do tgcf art? Tag #tgcf. Do svsss art? Tag #svsss.

4. Not only artists, but everyone, *please* stop tagging fandoms not discussed and/or depicted in your post. It's gotten to be stupid common for people to blanket the danmei fandom tags with posts only about one fandon (like, svsss-only works also being tagged mdzs and tgcf and 2ha for some damn reason). This isn't about just my sideblogs tbh this is just fandom etiquette that seems to have been forgotten or never learned by many. Tagging unrelated fandoms isn't "reach," it's annoying. People go into the #mdzs tag to see mdzs, not whatever not-mdzs stuff people have decided to tag for ~reach~, and seeing the same post in 8 tags, none of which it's related to, is so damn irritating, and makes scrolling the tags looking for content that IS relevant take that much longer. Knock it off.

Okay. I think that's as much as I'm prepared to meltdown where everyone can see. Thanks in advance everyone for your understanding, and apologies to everyone about to see this 8 times as I reblog it to each sideblog.

At least I'm not tagging it to everywhere. 🤣🤣🤣

[paintingwhiteceilings]

❃Seventeen and s/o switches languages during an argument❃

a/n: Firstly, thank you for sending my very first request; I hope I did it justice! After discussing it together, we decided to make it a more general prompt. This was such a fun prompt to try my hand at, as a fellow EU carat, it was amusing to imagine how they would react to their partner switching languages. Some of these may have become a bit, more like very, long as a result so, well, grab your popcorn I suppose :')

Anyway, it is a bit longer and more serious than my other posts but I hope that you will like it regardless!

TG: some of these are slightly angsty and DK is naked

Scoups/Seungcheol

❀ In all fairness, the two of you tend to bicker every now and then, mostly because Coups is the pettiest and poutiest person alive. As a result, you tend to be quite used to having irrelevant arguments with him. Neither of you gets incredibly upset; the arguments are mostly harmless and, at times, can be quite amusing.

❀ This time, however, you had quite a stressful day at work and were in no mood to playfully bicker with him. Apparently, you had absent mindlessly borrowed one of his jackets, and he had been missing it all day, giving Hoshi an earful as he believed he had gone out of his way to borrow his stuff again. After he discovered that Hoshi hadn't been the culprit, he texted you, but in the chaos of work, you had forgotten to reply, leaving him on read. Truly, in his eyes, how incredibly offensive. How can his love, his light, his everything leave him on read just like his members do???

❀ Cue a ton of whining and pouting when you walked through the door, wrapped in his precious jacket. He didn't seem to get the hint that you were in no mood for his dramatic antics. It didn't take long for you to snap at him, effectively shutting him up. He didn’t shut up, however, because you actually got angry at him, but because you unconsciously switched to your native tongue in your exhaustion. He had forgotten that was a thing you could do.

❀ He has dealt with the foreign line switching languages during arguments enough to know that you weren't having his tantrum. It is enough for him to realize to knock it off, but he will be pouting the rest of the evening. Not because he is still upset about the jacket, but because he has no idea what you said and he is too prideful to ask until the next morning.

Jeonghan

❀ Jeonghan rarely gets mad at people, meaning that arguments between the two of you tend to be infrequent. The only times the two of you tend to bicker is when he finds yet another way to cheat during game nights. The cheating is all in good fun, and more often than not, you find yourself impressed with his quick-wittedness. 

❀ That being said, losing five times in a row because your boyfriend found another loophole in the game rules really tested your patience. You had been playing Uno together when he decided that whenever he plays the reverse card, it means he gets to go again. Somehow, he stocked up on a ton of reverse cards, and he had been getting rid of most of his cards without you being able to do anything about it. 

❀ Naturally, you started arguing with him, trying to convince him that it was against the rules. It was no use; he knows the rules better than you do. Thus, in the heat of the moment, you couldn’t help yourself, and you cursed at him in your native tongue. He was mighty confused for a second, but was aware from looking at your face that you were not complimenting his quick thinking.

❀ He ended up laughing at you, finding it hilarious that he somehow managed to trigger you that much. Be prepared for him to never let you live it down. Every game night, he will cheekily ask you whether it is okay for him to cheat or whether you will curse at him in your native tongue again. From now on, he will up his cheating antics as well, trying to get a rise out of you again. 

Joshua

❀ You and Joshua usually don't let your grievances get to a shouting match. Before it can get to that point, one of you sits the other down to calmly talk things out. However, every once in a while, whenever one of you is stressed about something, things tend to escalate. So when Joshua comes home late after a gruelling recording session for the sixth time that week, leaving you to do all the house chores after a stressful work day yet again, you get into a heated argument.

❀ Neither of you wanted to admit to being in the wrong, leading to you bickering back and forth. Joshua had been angrily smiling at you for the past half an hour, trying to explain his side of the story, whilst you were trying to do the same. Arguing in Korean wasn't necessarily your strong suit, and despite English being a lot easier, you couldn't help but switch to your native language as you were trying to find the right words to explain your side of the story.

❀ To be honest, I can't really imagine Joshua being surprised when you switch languages during an argument. Having lived in an environment where he has to speak a second language constantly, he probably is all too aware that when people get emotional, they switch to their mother tongue. He has had too many quarrels and fights with the other members where he kept throwing in English, unable to remember the corresponding Korean word.

❀ Instead, your argument becomes a poly-lingual discussion where the two of you keep switching between all the languages you are familiar with. Joshua doesn't even blink when you switch to your native language anymore; he is used to deciphering what you are saying through context clues.

Jun

❀ Jun is an absolute homebody. He loves to lounge on the couch for hours with his phone in hand, playing mobile games and scrolling on social media. It is the perfect way for him to de-stress after his busy schedule, where he has to constantly be on the move. Usually, you enjoy the domesticity of it, but lately, you can't help but feel like all the two of you have been doing is staying at home. It isn’t like you constantly want to be out and about, but a part of you wants to go on a proper date where you get to dress up and be lovey-dovey with your boyfriend. You have been trying to find the right time to bring it up, aware that Jun doesn’t do well with subtle hints.

❀ However, when the day finally came where you asked him to go on more dates, it ended up in you two fighting. It had all started when you found yourself bored out of your mind with Jun being on his phone again, absorbed in his own world. For the first time in a while, he got to enjoy a bit of a break as promotions had finally ended, and he intended to spend most of it relaxing on the couch. It was a much-needed break from the constant dancing and travelling. Naturally, when you proposed to go out for the day, asking whether he wanted to check out a café that had just opened up in the city, he immediately responded that he didn’t want to.

❀ Perhaps both of your fuses had been short that day, and soon an argument ensued between you two. Jun stubbornly maintained that he wanted to rest and that being at home together was enough for him, whilst you tried to explain that you felt like he didn’t want to make time for your relationship. The two of you argued back and forth, both making valid arguments but unwilling to hear the other out.

❀ Jun was already mixing some Mandarin with his Korean as he got more and more frustrated. It didn’t help either that Jun had started to speak quicker the more agitated he got, making it even harder for you to decipher what he was trying to say. Thus, as the fight reached a boiling point, you started to yell at him in your native language. Jun had never heard you speak your mother tongue at length before, so you completely caught him off guard.

❀ Jun doesn't know what to say in response to your yelling, not knowing what you yelled at him in the heat of the moment. Similarly, you are surprised at your emotional outburst. You switching languages is enough for the both of you to realize that neither of you was listening to the other anymore. After a moment of silence, the two of you decide to leave the argument for the night and calmly talk about it after a good night's sleep.  

Hoshi/Soonyoung

❀ Hoshi has been trying to convince you that his native language is growling, being a tiger, and all that. As much as you try to support your boyfriend’s tiger agenda, you have attempted to dissuade him from growling at you constantly as a way of communicating. You gently told him to stop as, first of all, you can't understand what he is trying to say when he is growling, and, secondly, it is very embarrassing when he does it in public.

❀ Still, he is waiting to find any excuse to growl at you, and you have noticed that whenever you slip into your mother tongue, he sees it as a green light to start. As a result, you try to be extra careful about using your native language around him in public or when other people are visiting. At home, you feel comfortable enough to, at the very least, scold him without anyone else having to bear witness to how shameless this man can be.

❀ It had all gone downhill when you and Hoshi organized a game night with the other members. It wasn't the actual game night that resulted in you yelling at him. Oh no, it had to do with the fact that Kwon Soonyoung has the habit of leaving the toilet seat up despite you having asked, on multiple occasions, whether he could lower it after he finished his business. For the past few days, he had been doing a good job remembering, but with all the excitement of the game night, it had slipped his mind. He was reminded, however, of his mistake upon hearing a splash and a blood-curdling scream leave the bathroom door.

❀ You were livid upon entering the living room and reminded your boyfriend yet again to lower the god-damn thing. In your anger, you slipped into your native tongue without being aware of doing so. You didn't even register it until you saw Hoshi's stunned and guilty expression morph into one of absolute delight.

❀ He growls. At you. In response.

❀ It is safe to say that the other members have to hold you back before you kill your boyfriend.

Wonwoo

❀ Usually, you loved having a gamer boyfriend as it meant that you got to focus on your own hobbies, happily existing in the same space without having to constantly have to do things together. Lately, however, you had been trying your hand at some of the games he had been playing. It was a fun pastime, and you especially liked games that didn’t require a fast reaction time, allowing you to explore a world or story at your own pace without it resulting in you constantly dying. Not to pat yourself on the back, but you had become quite skilled at the games you often played. Recently, you and Wonwoo had even started to play games together; you couldn’t help but smile whenever you saw your joined beds in Minecraft.

❀ So, when Wonwoo asked you to play Keep Talking & Nobody Explodes together, you had expected the two of you to do rather well. However, it couldn’t be further from what ended up transpiring. The game required seamless communication, with one person trying to disarm a bomb whilst the other consulted a manual on how to, unable to see the actual bomb. The first level had been easy enough, but you guys immediately got stuck on the second level. Each level was more complicated than the last one and was making your way through the game rather painfully slow. For some reason, your communication was completely off, resulting in numerous retries. It didn’t even matter who the operator or who the bomb disarmer was; you simply couldn’t get into sync.

❀ You could tell that Wonwoo was getting incredibly agitated when you were taking way too long to read the Korean instructions to him, unable to understand one particular word, causing the bomb to explode yet again. He had played the game with some of the members before, and it hadn’t been this hard. It didn’t help that he kept trying to give you tips and tricks on how to play the game. It felt a bit condescending. Moreover, you could tell he was partly blaming your Korean when he sighed yet again at another failed attempt due to you fumbling over your words. It wasn’t as if this was only your fault. As a result, you snapped at him that he should try to play in your native tongue and see how easy of a time he had with it. Except, you accidentally snapped at him in the wrong language.

❀ As you continue rambling under your breath, venting to yourself that your boyfriend and the game are both stupid, you don’t notice that you switched languages. Wonwoo, in the meantime, has fallen incredibly quiet, unsure how to react. He realizes that it might have been a bit unfair to play a game that requires you to communicate complicated instructions in Korean. When you are finally done ranting in your native language, he will quietly propose playing a different game, muttering a quiet apology when you two agree to switch to Stardew Valley. He makes sure to give you lots of gifts in-game, trying to show that he appreciates you playing with him even if it doesn’t always work out well.

Woozi/Jihoon

❀ You were aware that when you started dating Woozi that he was a bit of a workaholic and that there would be times when he would prioritize his work over your relationship. For the most part, you loved his dedication to producing music; you enjoyed hanging out in his studio, watching how he expertly produced a new track. You always felt in awe as you watched him tinker on the piano, trying to figure out what chords to use for the song. In turn, he loved having you there; your questions and curiosity reminded him of the wonder he felt when he first started producing.

❀ However, his passion for making music sometimes did make you feel like a third wheel in your relationship, especially when a Seventeen comeback was nearing. He would be cooped up in the studio for weeks, ignoring all the messages you send him. Where he normally loved having you around in the studio, he would become easily agitated with you watching over his shoulder as the deadlines neared. The expectations of the members and the company would weigh heavily on him, and having you be there as another watchful eye was simply too much for him to handle.

❀ So, when you went to the studio after a concerned Coups had called you, noticing that Woozi hadn’t bothered to eat that day, your presence put Woozi over the edge. It had been a couple of weeks since you had last seen your boyfriend, and you had hoped that seeing you would cheer him up. However, he barely acknowledged your presence when you stepped into the studio, his attention captured by the screen in front of him. Whenever he did respond, it was often curt and borderline insulting. You knew it was due to him being under a lot of pressure, but you couldn’t help feeling hurt.

❀ It got to you, and before you knew it, the two of you were fighting. Woozi, who already was feeling immense stress, couldn’t deal with the intense emotions and, hence, defensively threw out a painful insult without thinking. Feeling the tears sting in the corner of your eyes, you asked yourself why you were even still here when he obviously didn’t want you there in your native language before turning to leave. He didn’t understand what you had said, leaving him momentarily speechless.

❀ By switching languages unexpectedly, it gets through to Woozi what he had said and how hurt you were by his words. By being unable to understand what you were saying, he is able to solely focus on your tone and emotions. He feels incredibly guilty about his behaviour, and it doesn’t take long for him to chase after you to profusely apologize.

DK/Seokmin

❀ Although fights do not often happen with DK, he sometimes can be a bit prideful, only recognizing he is in the wrong when the other person gets noticeably angry. You encountered his pridefulness on a normal enough day. DK had texted you that he would be over at your place after practice, so when you came home and heard the shower running, you were delighted at the prospect of spending the evening together with your boyfriend. You briefly called out to him that you were home before waiting for him on the couch to finish showering. It didn't take long for him to be done. When you saw the door swing open with your handsome boyfriend only wearing a towel around his waist, you got up to properly greet him with a hug.

❀ However, before you could do so, you smelled a familiar scent drifting out of the bathroom. You see, one of your friends had gifted you a very expensive body wash that you had been gingerly using whenever you had had a particularly stressful day. Due to it being so expensive, you had asked DK to use the other ones in your shower, just so you could enjoy it a little longer, as you weren't really going to buy it for yourself once it ran out. He hadn't listened. Cue one of the pettiest arguments ever.

❀ In your defence, you weren't even upset about him using the body wash, but instead were hurt that he hadn't respected your wishes. DK, in turn, argued that it was only body wash and that he had simply wanted to smell like you. The argument escalated without either of you meaning to, and before you knew it, a towel hit you in the face. In surprise and anger, you yelled at him in your native tongue, which made DK effectively realize what he had done. He knew that you would never switch languages without being incredibly upset and he felt mortified, recognizing that he had not only let his emotions get out of control but also had parted with the only thing covering up his body.

❀ As you threw the towel back at him, venting in your native language some more, you finally noticed DK standing before you in all his glory, looking both guilt-ridden and like he wished for the ground to swallow him whole. Seeing him standing there butt naked was enough for you to crack up, breaking the tension from the argument. DK, on the other hand, wasn't sure whether to profusely apologize for throwing the towel at you or hide for the rest of eternity.

Mingyu

❀ Mingyu often feels like the perfect boyfriend; he loves to cook and clean and lives to pamper you whenever he is able to. He takes your teasing very well, enjoying when you cheekily poke fun at him blatantly showing off his trained physique in front of fans. Although staying in Korea can sometimes be overwhelming, he truly makes you feel right at home. He strives to introduce you to his friends and tries to make as many new memories with you so that you wouldn’t have to miss your home country too much.

❀ When you guys moved in together, you had been ready to have it be another cherished memory. That was until Mingyu dropped a very precious ceramic bowl. The bowl had been a present from your family when you moved out, and you had dragged the bowl with you all the way to Korea. It was a meaningful keepsake you had taken with you from your home country, allowing you to have a piece of home in a foreign place. You had mostly used it as decoration in your previous apartment, and you were incredibly careful when using it, knowing that once it fell, it would be incredibly difficult to replace.

❀ Consequentially, when you watched your boyfriend drop it onto the floor, shattering your treasured keepsake into a thousand pieces, you felt a part of yourself fracture simultaneously. Mingyu didn’t seem to recognize what he had broken, sheepishly apologizing to you before jokingly remarking that the bowl had been rather ugly anyway. You knew he wasn’t aware of what he had broken and that it would be unfair for you to get mad at him, as it had been an accident after all. Nonetheless, seeing something so important to you not only get broken beyond repair but also mocked, set you off.

❀ As a result, you started yelling at a stunned Mingyu, who wasn’t expecting your explosive reaction at all. In turn, he got aggrieved, feeling like your reaction was disproportionate to the situation. Voicing that, however, only made you more upset, and as you tried to pick up the broken pieces to throw them out, you started crying, sobbing to yourself that it truly was beyond repair in your native tongue.

❀ Mingyu, in retrospect, doesn’t know whether it had been your crying or you switching languages, but as he watches you tearfully throw out the pieces, his anger completely vanishes, only to be replaced by an intense feeling of guilt. He will hug you tightly, apologizing for breaking something that had obviously been very important to you. After you explain what the bowl stood for, he will try his hardest to get you another bowl as a surprise, contacting your family to have them send over a new one.

❀ In the end, all is well, and to be honest, you might love the new bowl a lot more as it reminds you of how much Mingyu genuinely treasures you.

The8/Minghao

❀ Minghao and you had decided to go on a wine painting date; you had stumbled upon it not too long ago, excitedly proposing it to your boyfriend, knowing it combined two of his favourite things. Minghao had been looking forward to the date for the past week, feeling giddy despite the exhausting dance practices. He would tell anyone that would listen about the date, gushing over how well his girlfriend knew him.

❀ It was an absolute surprise to both of you when the workshop ended with you arguing. The workshop had started innocently enough, with you guys following the instructions, laughing whenever a brushstroke failed to turn out how you had intended. The wine tasted great, and both of you were amazed that the workshop was pouring such luxurious wine.

❀ However, as the workshop progressed and the teacher made his way past all the other participants to check on their progress, things turned sour pretty quickly. The moment the teacher laid eyes on you, he was enamoured and absolutely oblivious that you were on a date with your boyfriend.

❀ At first, you assumed that the teacher was only being nice when he lingered longer at your station than others. You presumed that he was being friendly and that, with you and Minghao being the last people he needed to check up on, he stayed to kill time until he needed to introduce the next set of instructions. You failed to notice that Minghao had grown awfully quiet as you conversed. When the teacher reached over to guide the paintbrush in your hand, you started to get the hint that the teacher was trying to hit on you.

❀ Minghao, on the other hand, had been noticing the glances from the teacher since the beginning of the workshop. Although he prided himself in rarely being jealous or upset, the wine made it harder for him to let his gnawing feelings go. He knew his anger was unfair and misplaced, but it didn't make him feel any less upset. Even when you gently let the teacher down by telling him that you and your boyfriend could figure it out yourselves from here, the hurtful feeling persisted.

❀ Thus, when you turned to him afterwards to check on why he had been so quiet, only to be met with a curt Minghao, you began arguing. You knew he was jealous, but he had started to take it out on you. Thus, you did the only thing you knew that could possibly cheer your boyfriend up and shake him out of his jealousy. You took his face gently in your hands, rambling sweet nothings in your native tongue.

❀ Minghao loves hearing you speak in your native language to him, feeling like nothing is more intimate than only him being able to understand the sweet nothings you are saying. He will momentarily blank as he tries to process your sweet words. It is enough to melt away his jealous feelings, making him feel a bit stupid for letting it influence his actions and words (as well as any hope the teacher had to get your number afterwards).   

Seungkwan

❀ We all know that Seungkwan likes to nag and tease, not a stranger to playful bickering. Nevertheless, Seungkwan strikes me as someone who is very open with his emotions, preferring to discuss what is bothering him rather than bottling things up. Thus, you two rarely get into actual fights, as he ensures that you two regularly talk about the problems you experience as a couple. At the same time, Seungkwan is a bit of a sensitive boy, and sometimes it is easy to get into arguments with him without either of you meaning to let things escalate. A joke might not land and instead hurts his feelings, leading to an angry and butthurt Boo. 

❀ During some of your playful fights, he noticed that you struggled to keep up with his Korean, switching to your native language in frustration when the Korean escaped you. He couldn’t help but feel slightly bad about you having to constantly accommodate him, which is why he devised a plan. Without you knowing, he spend a significant amount of time online skewering the internet to search for basic sentences, mildly insulting phrases and not-too-harsh curse words that he could use if you guys got into another playful argument. Instead of only you having to struggle in Korean, he felt it was only fair for him to wrestle with your native tongue as well.

❀ He finally gets to use it when you guys have a heated discussion over which coffee is the best on one of your many coffee dates; he keeps maintaining that Iced Americano is the best coffee that exists, something that you wholeheartedly disagree with. At first, you are able to respond to him in Korean, easily countering his arguments. However, as the discussion progresses, you can’t help but feel like Seungkwan intentionally is using advanced and eloquent Korean, using words you have never heard before. It doesn’t take long before you start switching out Korean for your native language, trying to hold your ground in the discussion.

❀ It is kind of comical when Seungkwan whips out a list of standard phrases, curse words and insulting sentences in your language, way too eager to use them. Rather than you surprising him by switching languages unconsciously, he is catching you off guard by using your own language against you. He is reading the sentences one by one, and although his pronunciation leaves a lot to be desired, you can tell he put a lot of effort into learning it. You don’t even know whether to be impressed by the fact that he poured so much work into arguing with you in your native language or offended by the, albeit mostly harmless, insults that he is hurling at your head.

Vernon

❀ Vernon strikes me as an emotionally mature person. Therefore, the two of you rarely argue with each other, if at all. Vernon is such a chill guy; it takes a lot to truly get him riled up, and even when he gets emotional, he is capable of maturely handling his emotions. Because of it, you haven’t had any real fights, only mature discussions on how to best navigate whatever problem you two were experiencing in the relationship.

❀ However, there was one thing that you and Vernon could argue for hours about, films. Usually, your film discussions are very civil, with each respecting the other’s opinion even if the other wholeheartedly disagrees. Hence, you guys have made it a routine to put a film on every other night, spending the rest of the evening talking about what you liked or disliked. Both of you enjoyed watching films together in this manner, with the discussions often taking up as much time as watching the films did.

❀ Tonight, however, you made the mistake of putting on a film you adored for nostalgic reasons. The film had been produced in your country, and after searching for it for a while, you had finally found a version with English subtitles. You were incredibly excited to be able to show Vernon the type of films you had grown up with. At first, you thought he was enjoying it; Vernon seemed absorbed as he watched the screen, nodding to himself when he appeared to like a particular scene. Nevertheless, once the film had ended and you eagerly turned to ask him whether he had liked it, he briefly hesitated before calling it mid.

❀ You stared at him in confusion, wondering whether you had been watching the same film. How could he call one of your favourite films mid? Sure, the budget might not have been spectacular compared to a Hollywood blockbuster film, resulting in some questionable CGI and cinematography choices. Still, it was a great film, in your opinion. When you asked him to explain himself, he shrugged, explaining that he simply thought it hadn’t been that good and that both the plot and cinematography left a lot to be desired.

❀ You were greatly offended, and before you knew it, you were heatedly arguing with him. Vernon remained calm rather than matching your energy, explaining that it was okay for you to like a film that just wasn’t his taste. Somehow his indifference annoyed you more, and before you knew it, you were ranting at him that he simply didn’t get how innovative the film was despite the constraints the director had to overcome. Perhaps by being exposed to your native language for such a long time, you brain got reset, and without you being fully aware of it, you had started using your mother tongue. Where before Vernon had been attentively listening, he now seemed lost, alerting you to your accidental mistake.

❀ It was the first time where you had switched languages in his presence, and he realizes that perhaps he had been overly critical. He will gently propose that maybe he was unable to fully enjoy the film as much as you did due to things getting lost in translation. You know he is mostly humouring you, but regardless, it is enough for the one-sided argument to dissipate. How can you stay mad at someone who is the definition of calm and respectful?

Dino/Chan

❀ In retrospect, you should’ve listened to Jeonghan’s warning when you decided to order Soju during dinner. Neither of you had expected to drink, but after a busy workweek, the two of you had decided, “Why the hell not.” You were massively regretting it now, having to deal with a drunk and stubborn Lee Chan.

❀ He refused to do anything you asked of him, and you were practically dragging him through the streets of Seoul, whilst he kept repeating that he wasn’t drunk and could take care of himself. Yeah, sure, he definitely did not keep stumbling over his own feet and was only kept from falling by your grip on his arm. It didn’t help that he kept trying to dislocate himself from you either, claiming that, as your boyfriend, he should be helping you.

❀ It all came to a boiling point when you decided to hail a taxi, too tired and exhausted to continue carrying him. Jeonghan had told you all about stubborn drunk Dino, but you had hoped that you, as his significant other, held enough sway over your boyfriend to coax him into the taxi. Spoiler alert, you didn’t, and instead, the two of you got into an argument. No matter what you said, he kept repeating that he could hail his own taxi. He’s a big boy now.

❀ Maybe it was your sore muscles from carrying him, perhaps it was Dino stupidly refusing your help the entire time or possibly it was the taxi driver warning that he would drive off if the two of you didn’t get in, but suddenly in the midst of your sentence, you switched to your native tongue. In an attempt to get him moving, your tipsy, fuzzy brain resorted to the easiest language for you to yell in. Apparently, that was all it took for Dino to shake himself out of his stubbornness.

❀ The poor guy will be so confused that he’ll easily let you drag him by the arm into the taxi. He can’t determine whether he is truly so drunk that your words have become illegible or that you actually spoke a different language. At the very least, for the time being, you have managed to break through stubbornly drunk Dino, and he lets you guide him whilst he is trying to figure it out in his fuzzy brain.

❀ He will definitely be asking you about it the next morning whilst nursing a massive hangover, thinking it was all a dream.

masterlist

[daisylovestickles]

Taking A Break (Trigger Warning Ahead)

Hi lovelies! I usually don't post serious stuff like this but I feel like my mental health has taken a major dip in the last week. All of my posts will take a pause for now and will be stored in drafts until further notice. I will still be online today (Saturday, December 7th) in case any of my mutuals want to exchange discords to keep in touch. After today is over, I am logging off until the new year.

Everything that happened with yourgigglebugmaya has really put me in a state of shock. We were close friends, and most of you know that we even met up in July for a session with a mutual friend. To say that I feel betrayed and disgusted is an understatement. Up until Tuesday, I had that sickening feeling in my stomach, and I wasn't sure why it was there. Until 1:00 am that night/early morning. A massive trauma had unlocked in my brain of when I was groomed at the age of 15. It had been in the very back of my brain for the last ten years and all of it seemed to unravel at once. I am talking to my therapist heavily about it, and still trying to process all my emotions around it.

I've been noticing a lot lately that people have been questioning my intentions with who I session with, and how my romantic partner feels about it. As much as I would like to say that it is none of your business as to how this dynamic is working, it's come to my attention that I've needed to clarify a few things. My romantic partner is not in the community, nor will he ever be. He is very supportive of my journey of wanting to explore this part of my life, both SFW and NSFW. He is very happy that I have found a community of people. You don't need to question whether he is okay with certain things I do. Before every session we have a discussion on what is going to happen, as well as reassurance that I will always come back to him when that session is over, because he is the only one I will ever love romantically. Have we had to discuss certain things as I'm learning more about myself? Of course! But they are healthy and respectful.

Please be respectful of my decision to log off over this next month. I never wanted it to come to this, but I need to focus on myself for a while. Love you all 💛

[intheestaars]

Solar return observations pt. 1 ✨

‼️ Do not reproduce, repost or use any of my content without my consent. If you ever repost anything, you need to always mention my page ‼️

Hey guys! I hope you've been having a great christmas time! I'm starting a new little series, bc honestly, i haven't been observing anything new when it comes to birth charts lately, but i've really been into solar return charts, which is why i really wanted to make this. As you might have seen, i had already posted another observation which included some observations on solar return charts, which i deleted bc some of the things i shared didn't resonate with me and i only want to give you content i can truly stand behind. But i am mentioning this, bc i'm going to include some of the solar return observations i made in this post, so don't be confused if you think you might've already seen this on one of my posts.

If you do not know about solar return charts, i would recommend you to look it up beforehand. I am not the best at explaining this kind of stuff, but there are other astrology pages who have amazing introductions for people who are getring into solar return charts. Please look them up and then come back to this!!

Before we start: these are just my personal observations. I am by no means a professional astrologer, and i don't want you coming for me because you disagree with me on the meaning of something. If you want to correct me, feel free, but i will not tolerate any hate or disrespect (which means you will get blocked).

‼️Trigger warning: mentions of bad relationship experiences, bullying and mental health struggles ‼️

Sooo let's go!

Jupiter in the 8th house conjunct neptune in 7th house: Although of course this can show different in every persons life, for me in the year i had this placement i didn't meet my rich husband who was my wonderful soulmate. Instead i only dated one guy who in the beginning seemed very great but turned out to just be using me for intercourse. In general the guys i've met who were interested in me seemed quite stable and like good people, but turned out to actually be known by close ones as f-boys. So if you have this placement in your solar return chart, please beware. It might look better than it is, as neptune is also about illusions and in the 7th house of relationships, this can mean you might not see who the person truly is, and with jupiter in the 8th house, it could be because they might be using you for sexual endevours, or you might be more into sexual endavours than usual and thus give another person the illusion you might be into more to get access in that way (which: please don't do that. there is people out there who are willing to give you that without you having to betray them. it's not fair to someone who is trying to actually build a relationship).

Neptune conjunct the Descendant with Chiron in the 7th house: Adding to the last observation: the year i started dating my first boyfriend who was very toxic and completely used and betrayed me was the year i had neptune, the planet of illusions, in a very close conjunction to my descendant. Also, like chiron (the wound we cannot heal but which can heal others) would indicate, this whole situation sent me into quite a mental health crisis, which i didn't even realize until about 2 years later. it really messed with me, so please be careful if you have this placement. i still learned a lot about relationships, and i feel like i now would never again get into a relationship without being 100 percent certain about the persons intentions and so on, but it was still very unpleasent. So, please be careful.

Saturn, Pluto and Uranus in the 4th house: Whilst Pluto and (especially) Uranus can totally mean you moving because they are very much about change, i wouldn't say the same about saturn in the 4th house. Saturn is usually more about restrictions and difficulties. Of course there could be difficulties with your landlord for example, which might cause you to move, but otherwise, i think saturn here is more about not being able to move freely in your home or you feeling bound to your home for some reason. This can of course vary in interpretation depending on other aspects and planets, it could also be about problems with you family. It very much depends.

North node conjunct uranus in any house: Whatever house this placement is in, you might experience some significant change in this area or might learn something about this area of your life which will change it significantly. For example, a friend of mine had this in his 7th house and during that year, after a lots of years of being in an polyamorous relationship, they went back to a monogamous relationship because some things had appened, which made them realize for them to keep on having a healthy relationship, a monogamous relationship might be better. I also had this placement in my ninth house and during this year some things happened which significantly altered the way i handle my studies in college.

Stellium in 12th house (with sun and moon): You might be going through a phase where you are in more solitute and a lot of things you didn't know about will come to light. I am currently experiencing this, and i could totally feel the shift. I feel it kind of was like my last solar reutrn year i had so many experiences with traveling and meeting new people, that i kind of feel like an "experience fatigue". it felt like i was making so many new experiences, and focused on making more and so on, that i forgot to put meaning and intention behind those. So now i just want to slow down and still make experiences, but also focus on my inner world, on learning new things about myself and also work on some mental health stuff. also, i feel like there has been a lot going on behind the scenes on how people view or say about me which i don't or didn't know about, like for example one year a go, a comment i made on youtube got about 6000 likes and people were bashing me so hard in the comments and i didn't even notice until now 😭 idk, i hope whatever is going to be revealed isn't too harsh (the comments were bad but honestly, i didn't mind. it's not the first time i've gotten hate on social media lol). the 12th house is generally not considered to be very positive, but for now i feel like it is mostly about me time and discovering new things about myself.

Sun square pluto: I read something on the tumblr page "lavishlyleo" about this placement being a very difficult placement which can last for a looong time, and i looked it up: i've had this placement since i was about 14 years old. now, i've had quite a rough childhood, but me having to deal with that and having to process it and simultaniously starting to experience more bullying and so on started around this time. i think beforehand i knew my life wasn't the greatest, but i could still move through it and be very happy and content because i had a great friend group and a lot of other good stuff going on. the fact of me having to realized how the things i have gone through were so fucked up and how they messed with me was soo much harder tbh. but now this placement has been easing up a bit and will go away in about two years and i have honestly been doing so much better than the years beforehand, especially when it comes to my social life! i am so excited on seeing how life will be as soon as this placement finally goes away.

Chiron or lilith in the 11th house: As these two are more harsh and about experiencing some bad stuff to also learn and develope, having this in the 11th house may not be a good sing of you keeping your friend group and maybe losing those. Or in general just having bad experiences with groups of people.

I will leave you with this now. As the year progresses, i will see how certain placements play out in my and other peoples life, so i can give you some more observations i made. But i hope you enjoyed this!

Sending out love and please keep safe! Until next time byebye 🩵

[darcytaylor]

You may be tired of this discourse and in that case, feel free to skip this lol, but I was thinking about some things today after rewatching S3 and seeing the new pap attack on N&JD and Tom H getting fed up with Zendaya being swarmed by fans, and I was thinking, what would I do if I was in their position or I was the normie partner of a celebrity? Like, I can't even imagine dealing with something like that, but if I had to, what would I do?

I was also thinking about why I was really put off by A's latest photo dump and I've come to some realizations. I was aware of her existence early on but I wasn't deep into the fandom until May, so I wasn't phased by the stuff with her and L that came out after. I didn't look into her much because frankly I wasn't interested and I was very vocal about people giving her grace or barring that, at least ignoring her. I felt like whatever she did, the fandom would find a way to hold it against her, so she might as well live her life. That is why when people spoke of her "playing SM games", I scoffed at it and interpreted her posts as typical GenZ SM activity. But that started to change for me when she posted those two stories where she literally bent over backwards to show us that L was her phone background, and resurfaced again with the latest summer dump, where she went out of her way to post parallel photos with L when he'd made every effort to make this paid-for promo as free of any hints to his private life as possible. And I started to think, why would she do that, especially if it was a sponsored post (which, mind you, is still up), which he would be expected to be professional about? If I was the partner of a celebrity and they clearly wanted us to be private, and made every effort to make it so, why, out of everything I could be posting, would I post things that would be sure to rile up a trigger-happy fandom and heap further hate onto my partner? Why, after everything that's happened, would someone do that? The only reason I can think of is - they care more about the attention they're getting from being with that person than the person's actual wellbeing.

Both him and his entire friend group changed their posting behavior post-Sorrento. Everyone... Except A. Now, I don't know what goes on in her comment sections, I don't go there nor do I wish to, so I don't know what she might be responding to with her posts. However, when everyone else in their circle has pulled back and learned lessons about fame and unhinged stalker behavior, why hasn't she? I used to make the argument of, well, she's a model and dancer, and therefore she has to maintain an SM presence to book jobs. Yet... These kinds of posts - the hints, the random limbs, the implied company, the specific timing and locations... These are things that contribute nothing to her professional aspirations. Most of them are empty landscapes and very generic photos without her in it. There's no purpose to them other than to maintain a back-and-forth with a small but captive audience that's build up around her. I now realize that I got this all wrong because to me, desiring and actively seeking out attention or fame is an alien concept - I don't understand why anyone would. But something about watching Portia say "my girl" to Pen after her speech and then remembering that that's exactly what A's mom commented on the papgate pics made me realize that I need to look at this from the POV of her having gone on a talent show and having a dad who's a DJ and how chasing fame (or in A's case, it's moreso notoriety) might not just be normalized, but perhaps even the "done thing" in her household. If my mom saw me plastered all over the tabloids with me and my partner looking freaked out and miserable, I'd really take issue with her if that was her reaction. What about that sordid incident was to be celebrated??? I understand now why so many people felt strongly it had been staged.

So now that my lens has shifted, I've been analyzing her actions from the POV of - what if they're calculated? And while L isn't entirely without fault here, he has course-corrected, so what's her endgame here? Both of their careers seem to have suffered. If I'm not mistaken, she used to be able to book better gigs, and while the Hollywood downturn is something that is happening, one has to wonder if all of this drama hasn't impacted L's ability to book roles, especially when compared to his costars' bookedness and busyness.

I was also thinking about all the WT-related events that she awkwardly tagged along to and what I would've done if I was in a situation like that, getting bombarded with hate from strangers over my very existence, but I liked the person and I wanted to stay with them. And honestly? I wouldn't have gone. Or at the very least, I would've been as discreet as possible. And while it's clear that it's L who had to invite her and he's the one who waffled on launching her until someone else did it for him, she could've conducted herself differently and at least flown under the radar more. Yet she elected to be photographed on red carpets, stepping out of cars with his family, knowing that people would pay attention to that group of people. What did she think would happen? That the public would swoon over her, someone with very little to her name? And it's like, at this point, she could stop. She should stop. L, R, S all have, to the best of my knowledge. But she can't seem to help herself. She had to make it known that she was in Spain with him, and for a second time, too. At this point I can no longer reasonably attribute these patterns of behavior to her age or inexperience. She's not changing her ways because she's feeding off of this. I mostly wasn't paying attention, but I was also naive, because I don't think like people who desire fame think. I just wonder where L is at with all of this and why he's going along with it still, is it rose-colored glasses? Does he feel guilty for everything that's transpired? Is he now stubborn and feeling petty, so he'll keep indulging her and trolling the fandom by proxy?

I was thinking about how there are so many celebrities whose partners I couldn't pick out of a lineup - I know they exist, but they aren't front and center. Some even have rabid female fanbases, yet they've managed to keep their private lives on the DL. I couldn't tell you what David Tennant's wife looks like, or Dan Stevens', or Jamie Dornan's, to name a few. There are actors who have been with their partners for a long time but almost never take them to events and they're still fine. So, I don't know if N&L landed in the spotlight too late in life so they still think of themselves as regular people and couldn't really anticipate this, but in A's case, given everything I know about her now, I'm honestly done giving her the benefit of the doubt. My biggest question now is - why does L continue to? And for how long? Is he complicit in these games or does it not even occur to him that's what they are, like in my case? I guess if we don't look too closely at things, we can't see them for what they are.

Anyway, I hope you're having a fun rewatch like I did and I hope our faves are safe and happy and DM burns to the ground, amen.

I wasn’t too sure if I wanted to respond to this ask because I was concerned it might add unnecessary drama to this whole situation. However, I thought about it and realised that you seem to be approaching this with a lot of empathy and depth, which I really appreciate. Your long, drawn-out paragraphs (which I definitely appreciate!) tell me you’ve put a lot of reflection into this.

You raise some interesting points about navigating a relationship with a public figure, especially when the partner isn’t someone in the public eye (and maybe they want to be and their family wants it for them as well). It’s understandable to wonder what someone would do in that position, especially when you see posts that seem to clash with the other's desire for privacy. Something about it feels like it's part of a social media game - or even a subtle taunting of the fans/fandom.

I do like that you questioned if it could be Antonia being Gen Z and that it might just be part of that always-online mentality, where sharing life moments (even indirectly) is natural, without considering public repercussions. But at the same time, if you’re dating a public figure who wants privacy, it would make sense to be more mindful. Part of being in the public eye is knowing that people will observe your every move, and when those closest to you don’t understand that reality, it will create issues.

I understand the shift in your perspective. When actions repeatedly go against someone’s implied boundaries, it raises questions about motivation and whether they’re prioritising attention (self-image or fame) over respecting the relationship they are in.

I noticed the change in the friend group after the Sorrento trip as well (I think I also mentioned it somewhere in a blog post), and while I will say Antonia did change her habits a bit (she deleted a number of Instagram posts of her trips with Luke), I agree that out of everyone, she’s still the one who continues to post and make it known that she may be with him (but then fan's also imply and spiral over the smallest things as well). It’s strange to continue doing that when you know these posts will only fuel ongoing speculation rather than help reduce it. And honestly, I think that, at this point, reducing speculation could only be beneficial for Luke. Antonia's posts seem more detrimental than supportive.

I’m sure fame would be hard to navigate, and I think it’s fair to say that, in certain situations, some people might see an opportunity to maintain or even leverage attention, regardless of how it might play out publicly.

In the end, I have no idea why any of the people in this situation continue to do what they’re doing, or why they keep posting things that only fuel more drama. I’ve mentioned before that maybe this is Luke’s way of not letting the fandom dictate his life - but, like you said, maybe he’s seeing things through rose-coloured glasses, or even feeling a sense of guilt or responsibility to make Antonia happy given the amount of hate she’s received. It could be any combination of loyalty, stubbornness, or simply him wanting to show support, even though the public perception won’t be positive. Luke could be trying to balance his desire to keep things private with Antonia’s approach, which may be different. But we won’t know for sure without knowing him personally (or being him!). It's all speculation and guesswork.

In the end, these kinds of things are complex, and I think reflecting on why people make the choices they do is absolutely valid and normal. But like I always say, there are so many possibilities for why things are taking place and unfolding the way they are. There are countless options and scenarios, both now and in the past, that could explain each action. Even if something seems clear, as fans, we don't know anything about motivations or anybody’s relationship status.

I really enjoyed reading your ask - it offers a lot to consider about how fame and notoriety affect both personal and professional lives, especially when someone’s actions seem intentional or at odds with their partner’s approach to privacy. So thank you!

I am having fun with my rewatch! I also wouldn't mind if DM burnt to the ground!

[suzukiblu]

Attention-grabbing gif!! Sorry for all the not-fic words to follow, hah, just relaying some Ko-fi-related info for anyone interested in those additional Ko-fi slots I mentioned. I'll be dropping them this Saturday at 12:30PM EST, and then a couple more at 6:30PM EST just to spread 'em out and make it easier for people who want the best chance to get one but might have plans/work/stuff to do during the day.

For the record, I'm not necessarily expecting these slots to all get insta-nabbed, for all I know maybe none will get picked up right now at all, but the last few times I had slots free in the 5USD tier they pretty much went in a snap, so chances of at least THAT tier's additional slots getting insta-nabbed are, like, definitely nonzero. Really those occasions are why I'm doing this at scheduled times and with forewarning, so I can try to be fair about giving people who don't have notifs on for my blog or don't check Tumblr daily a little bit of a heads-up.

So! Plan is I'm gonna be opening five more slots in both the 5USD and 10USD tiers, which are both WIP tiers that I give people monthly thank-you words in currently active WIPs for subscribing to ( which is basically anything on my DC-related AUs page, for the record; there's a couple stories on there that are complete and therefore not active anymore, but everything else on it's fair game ). The 5USD tier allows you to pick the WIP of your choice every month and get 500 words in that, and the 10USD tier allows you to pick a genre ( and character/pairing, if desired ), and get 1k in a random WIP that falls in under that genre, avoiding any of your squicks/triggers/DNWs.

At 12:30PM EST this Saturday, I'll drop three slots in both of those tiers and put up a post here to tell people they're live; at 6:30PM EST, I'll drop another two slots in both tiers and put up another post here for those too.

Sorry for all the words, haha; thank you for reading! 💙

( also, as requested, tagging @ceswest! )

[reasonsforhope]

Heads up/warning that I'm going to start posting articles related to the Israel-Palestine War

I've worked really, really hard to keep my blog about positive news only, and that's going to continue - these posts will be only about good news related to the war.

Of which there really, really isn't much, so I don't know that there will be a lot of posts, but I will be posting articles about humanitarian aid reaching those who need it and actions that will prevent more lives from being taken.

I know that, no matter my position on the war, this is something that would be very controversial and make a lot of people upset, so I wanted to be explicit about my position on this - and my posting policy, which is not the same thing. I also wanted to give people a heads up because I know the war in general is really, really triggering for a lot of people right now, for a lot of different reasons. I'll be tagging all relevant posts, so if screening those out is something that you need to do, you can.

I have worked very hard to make this blog a space with only good news because I know how much it can matter to have just one place, if nowhere else, that you can count on to not give you emotional whiplash with horrible news. To know you have one place you can go where you are guaranteed not to see bad news that will send you into a tailspin. That's why I've had a policy of not including signal boosts or PSAs about tragedies, no matter what they are, on this blog. (I do post about some of that stuff, including the Israel-Palestine War, on my main blog, though. I consider this blog to be me trying to run a public service, basically, and so have specific policies for myself around that, including my editorial and fact-checking standards.)

I'm going to be honest, I was really, really hoping the war would end after a couple of weeks, which has historically not been uncommon for wars with/involving Israel.

But that's clearly not happening, and I can't keep not acknowledging what's happening on here, so, this post.

With that, I imagine people probably want to know my actual stance on the war, since that's what I'll be posting in accordance with.

So, here's the official stance of this blog:

Every time a civilian is killed, it is a tragedy; Every time a child is killed, it is a tragedy, no matter their nationality. I condemn all antisemitism and all Islamophobia.

I support all calls for a ceasefire, as well as demands that Israel immediately stop its repeated bombing of hospitals, ambulances, shelters (including UN shelters), and refugee camps.

There is no situation in which the repeated and/or intentional bombing of hospitals is justified.

There is no situation in which the repeated and/or intentional bombing of shelters or refugee camps is justified.

There is no situation in which the repeated and/or intentional bombing of ambulances is justified.

There is no situation in which the killing of children is justified. Yet more children have now been killed in Gaza than in all global conflict zones combined in each year since 2019.

There is no situation in which cutting off an entire country and/or territory's supply of food and water is justified.

Yes, this applies to every group involved in the war, including countries supplying either side, and any countries or non-state organizations who may yet join the fighting.

The initial Hamas attack on Israel was a tragedy. The continued Israeli bombardment and invasion of Palestine is also a tragedy.

Most of the things I post will be about aid reaching Palestinians or news about tangible, confirmed progress toward a ceasefire. I probably will not be posting good news posts about aid reaching Israel, unless it's explicitly and only humanitarian and/or barring drastic unforeseen changes in circumstance. This is because as of yesterday, November 7, the Palestinian death toll is over 10,000 to Israel's roughly 1,400 (only about 200 of whom have been killed in the past month, starting on October 8, aka outside of the initial attack by Hamas). At least 3,195 children have died in Gaza, 33 in the West Bank, and 29 in Israel.

The Palestinian death toll is nearly 8 times the Israeli death toll. The number of children killed is 110 times higher in Palestine than Israel. (Source for death toll here, ratios via calculator.) Every single one of those deaths is a tragedy - and there have been far, far too many tragedies this past month.

(On a related note, Israel stands very, very little chance of actually eliminating Hamas with this war. The US has attempted this same strategy and failed many times: the US failed to eliminate the communist/North Korean regime in the Korean War, which is technically still ongoing 70 years later; failed to eliminate the Viet Cong in the Vietnam War; failed to eliminate numerous groups of Iraqi insurgents in the Iraq War, which triggered Iraq's civil war; and failed to eliminate the Taliban in the Afghanistan War, even though that war lasted for literally 20 years. Afghanistan is once again under total Taliban control.)

The last thing we need is another 20 year war. The last thing we need is more civilian deaths. Bombing civilian settlements, as well as hospitals, shelters, and refugee camps are war crimes under international law, meaning that both Israel and Hamas have committed war crimes.

It's time for the war crimes to stop.

Humanitarian aid reaching civilians is good news, and I will be posting accordingly.

Ceasefire now.

[itsalittlebitchilly]

Post TGR clarity bingo

Here's my bingo results :)

go girl, give us nothing.

anyways I wanted to talk about some of my reasonings

reveal that Jean and/or Jeremy can play the piano

okay this has definitely been influenced by more than one post that Jeremy (rich boy) had to learn the piano, but I've thought it's almost equally likely that Jean had to learn piano. Not because he was like a prodigy or anything, his parents just made him do stuff.

2. jean buys a book in French from a secondhand shop

okay before reading this was kind of out of nowhere, but after I REALLY hope he gets a French book. We know reading English is hard for him, so I doubt he remembers the last time he read for fun (if he ever did)

3. a rando goes on about how bad the ravens are in front of Jean

gave this one a yellow because it didn't happen anything like I'd imagined it. I just wanted some random student (who barely follows sports) to insist that they aren't a good team (AN: they're not)

4. cancer scare

tbh idk why I put this one. Very early on Jeremy's mom is "in surgery" and i was like "omg i hope its incurable and she dies" 200 pages later i realized "oh she is a doctor. she was in surgery. because she is a doctor. performing surgery"

5. Ichirou assassination/attempt

I still want this to happen but I think it's way more likely to happen in book 3 now especially with Browning's appearance.

6. Jean gets a postcard from Kevin and Jeremy is Jealous

I don't remember Jeremy being particularly jealous, but a postcard was received.

7. Jean wakes up from a nightmare

ok this didn't happen at all. probably a good thing I hope Jean only had peaceful nights

8. Jean plans/gets a tattoo (NOT a coverup)

i still want him to but idk how this would come up if it hasn't already

9. a flip phone gets broken in half

tbh should have done yellow for this. In a coffee cup is as good as broken in half, right?

10. someone on the team tears their acl

ok well good thing this didn't happen.

11. FBI have to talk to Jeremy (unrelated to the Moriyamas)

well technically they talked. Not directly about the Moriyamas. so yellow.

12. Jean throws something into the ocean

I have reason to believe that the ocean is actually further from campus than I have previously thought. my bad

13. Bee in person appearance

I was SO CONVINCED of this one. I would have put money on Bee being the one to go with Kevin. Every post about who was coming with Kevin I was in the notes saying Bee. Genuinely jaw dropping moment when Andrew showed up.

14. USC player dresses up as Kevin

ok well we didn't get to Halloween but if we did I still think this could happen

15. a raven/former raven goes to Jean for help

this is less something that I thought would happen and more something that I hoped would happen. Like a second or third year raven (who never knew Kevin) shows up at USC looking for Jean like "um how are you happy. how do you get up every morning." still want this to happen in book three. may be more likely now that the ravens are falling apart frfr

16. flossing triggers a breakdown

okay let me explain. I obviously knew someone was going to have a breakdown or two. but for the bingo I didn't want it to be obvious things. And the amount of times that I have been having a rough day and gotten to the end of it and thought about flossing for 0.5 seconds and started crying is not zero. or one.

17. Ichirou in person appearance.

I only wanted him to show up if it was to get shot and killed. sorry I hate that guy

18. Jean judges the quality of an Americanized French food

idc about this anymore we need to get that boy in ED treatment STAT

19. Jeremy makes a food Jean mentioned eating growing up

tbh it was foolish of me to think Jean would have any happy childhood memories, so this ones on me. Also we need to get that boy in ED treatment STAT

20. ABBA mention

you cannot convince me that the Trojans don't listen to ABBA

21. JereJean pull an all nighter so one of them can study for an exam

okay I forgot how much of these books are not about college

22. Jeremy walks from his house to Laila's in the middle of the night

what was I thinking. there is so much distance and Jeremy is too smart for this (unless... something truly terrible happened to him....)

23. Jeremy calls Jean after a family incident and Jean picks him up on his bike

this could still happen and I am definitely putting it on my bingo card for book 3

24. someone takes up knitting

I'm going to be honest. I was running out of ideas. also I just got into knitting

[kaija-rayne-author]

Some thoughts on Dragon Age Veilguard a couple weeks after playing/reviewing it.

Obligatory disclaimer, feel free to skip to the cut if you've read it.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though, every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

Note: My reviews for DA and my blog posts about DAV in particular aren't edited. I don't have the time, energy, or heart to edit them properly.

It's been 16 days since I finished DAV.

And sadly, my opinion still hasn't changed. Especially after learning about Joplin from my friend's artbook. (Joplin is the original concept and art concepts for the game. It had so much we were all really desperate to see. It was gorgeous. And they scrapped it.)

I don't know why they scrapped it, it was exactly what so many of us wanted.

Honestly? I don't care why. I'm sick of all the excuses people keep making for BioWare turning out such a shitty game.

Were there reasons and difficulties I don't know and will never know about? There usually are.

But those things are honestly irrelevant when it comes to producing a quality product.

I work my ever loving ass off to make sure my books are good. And I don't have a team to help me and a 250 million dollar budget. I do everything myself because I have to.

Indie studios turn out fantastic games with cool worlds, good fighting systems, and interesting monsters all the time. With some help and some budget, sure. But not likely on the scale of what they had for DAV.

I'm both a creator and an editor. When you're making a product for sale, it's incredibly foolish to change a series title too much from what worked before. Sure, fix problems, streamline stuff, but people generally don't play RPGs for anything past the worldbuilding, writing, story, and characters. There's action RPGs, sure. I'm playing one now and loving it (Greedfall).

It's a solid RPG that feels like an RPG. (DAV did not.) The fighting system works. The companions are actually useful. They kill bad guys all by themselves! It's quite refreshing tbh.

When you're creating something for fun, sure, do what the fuck ever you want as long as it isn't harmful to someone else. (Don’t put words in my mouth. By harmful, I mean specifically things like racism, sexism, ableism etc. Not whether someone dislikes the colour green and thinks the word 'triggered' means unhappy or uncomfortable. It doesn't. It's specifically a needed mental health term.)

When you're creating a product for sale, you make decisions. IE. I chose to write a reverse harem series. That's a choice influenced by the business reality that my queer books hardly sell at all.

I still love the characters and world I built, still love the plot etc. But it was still a decision on my part. Because my work of words is my only income. I'm disabled and recovering from a pulmonary embolism. My partner is recovering from a broken back and has at least one, possibly two more surgeries to go. We don't get very much help from anywhere. Money is so tight it squeaks. I'm hoping with the decision to write m/f reverse harem, my sales will improve (They already have with only two books out. Third before end of year.)

So. No. No more excuses for BioWare. They've always, from rumour, had a lot of control over the games they make, even if EA does pollute the studio by owning it.

Someone made the choices that resulted in such a shitty game. Someone approved the terrible (in some cases, racist, sexist, and ableist) writing. Someone thought the editing was just fine (it really really is not).

Someone (likely Epler given what he's said in interviews) decided that it was a good idea to Disney-fie the most recent addition to an adult, dark fantasy game that has historically delivered a lot of horror elements. While somehow condescending to kids at the same time.

Someone decided to remove so many of those dark fantasy elements. It's especially obvious in the not-fucking-darkspawn. They made them goofy, not scary and vaguely horror inspiring. But it's all throughout the game.

Someone made decisions. Those decisions made an awful game.

Someone decided tying your companions' skill points acquisition to their level of bond with you was a good idea. Maybe it looked good on paper. I don’t honestly care. It made it nigh impossible to get them high enough to be actually useful. Meaning your OP character always has aggro. Fine, I guess, if you're a tank player, but what about the rest of us?

Someone decided to remove blood splatter from a freaking BioWare game.

Someone decided to go with that wretched art style.

Someone decided nerfing the rogue class was a good idea. Why even have them? They're just light skirmishers, not rogues. Without, y'know, the rogue skills that make a rogue.

It was a decision, each and every time.

Someone decided everything about that game.

So miss me with the excuses.

I would like actual reasons, but I highly doubt we'll ever get them.

Someone made unwise and often foolish decisions during development of DAV. The results are clear.

Simply by the fact they aren't releasing sales numbers... that indicates it's probably not doing well. Larian basically called their earnings for BG3 out weekly.

It mostly just makes me sad now. DAV could've been fantastic. Because of decisions human beings in positions of power made, DAV, while having some good parts, just sucks.

[fangdokja]

Hello! I love your writing. I wanted to know if you're actually Christian or if you simp for Jesus (genuine question, no offense either way) Thank you!

Okii, prepare for rambling and unstructured talking. And, I'm glad you're enjoying my writing. Thanks so much :)))

TW. Contains sensitive real-life themes of suicide, depression, mental illnesses, and other sensitive issues. Reader discretion is strongly advised. But if you want to know more about me and why I write dead dove content? Read away :))

Yeahhh, I do. I know, pretty weird considering what I write, correct? But, rest assured, I do simp for Jesus. JESUS STAN. I am well aware it's weird and strange considering I'm "Christian" but I write this stuff, whether it's the vanilla yanderes from Genshin and HSR, or the AHD and FF more intense yanderes.

But, I really am. I don't really know how to explain it. But, unlike most, I really find writing and reading dark content therapeutic for me. Contrary to most, I actually hardly feel anything at all, even when writing the "nastiest" or most "fudged up shiz" that (to me, I don't mind it, I sleep well without trauma from it) to others are a turn off or won't like at all.

Everyone has different tolerances. I can read anything, gang rape, incest, gore, vore, murder, etc. every controversial and taboo issue under the sun. Because well most say that I have a strong tolerance. To me, such things aren't alarming, and I can read and write it just fine. If you can't stand it, then don't read it. No worries. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone, even yourself, if you really can't stand it. Just stop reading it.

It's also why I take the effort to put trigger warnings, even though it literally takes so much space in the post at times. But, it's necessary. Some things I write, especially explicit R18 stories are only for certain niches and audiences. It's not for everyone, a small community even.

Most prefer my more vanilla works, and that's fine. Just make sure to read the TW, and mentally prepare yourself that you know what you're generally getting into. And prepare sometimes that it's even more than what you expected (I have gotten comments of shock and surprise that the story was too much from them, which kind of made me go ??? since there were explicit warnings and such, but my friend said sometimes it can be more than expected to people even with TW).

I write for a vast audience, because that's my writing style. I sometimes like writing more vanilla yanderes, nothing too explicit. Other times I prefer writing erotic horror. Depends on my mood really.

Actually, when I write. Honestly? I don't feel anything at all. LIKE NOTHING. It's actually extremely rare for me to feel anything. It's why it's a miracle my husband and God is able to make me feel at all.

If you can't read that stuff, no need to read it. Just because I write it doesn't mean I condone it. It's why I write rape but no consensual porn sex. It romanticizes porn, same goes with most LGBTQ+ stories. I may write these themes, but I don't romanticize it. If it looks like I do, well, it's probably my flowery writing style. But, the emotions behind it are of the fear, anxiety, thrilling you're gonna get hurt and die kind of way.

Hmmm. One way I explain things on why I write this, aside from that I love spending time with God and my husband; since it requires me to talk to them voluntary or I would not be able to write at all— is simply I hate myself to the point of death.

I have a lot of self-worth issues until now, lots of stuff in my head in general. Like, I honestly could care less if I die. BUT.

God and my husband would be sad if I died, and I don't want them to be sad or whatever. So, it's why I keep myself alive, and make a conscious effort to do things that make me happy.

I'm not some holier-than-thou Christian. I love God, I really do (or I would literally have offed myself several times already). But, it doesn't mean I don't go through struggles. And, I'm not some perfect human who doesn't doubt, who still struggles with sin or whatever. I do. I really do. EVERY SINGLE DAY.

It's a common misconception that if you struggle with sin, you don't love God, that's wrong. Numerous people in the Bible struggled with sin, and yet God still uses them. To name a few:

Abraham literally lied and gave away his wife because he was afraid to be killed, even though God promised that He would make Abraham into a great nation through this woman.

Noah was a drunkard who slept naked (during that time, he was witnessed by his sons in a compromised position of his own making). But, he succeeded in the building of the Ark and his family believed in God in a world full of sin at that time.

Paul literally killed and persecuted Christians. He was part of the religious group who did so (further proving religion isn't always good. it's not about religion. It's just JESUS). Paul later became responsible for spreading the Gospel to the Gentiles and outside with the help of his comrades.

David killed a married man and committed adultery with the wife, (most likely raped) Bathsheba. And, still God called David "the man after my own heart."

Solomon had thousands of wives and fell to greed. And yet he was still known as the "wisest man", known for his wisdom.

Jacob literally stole his brother's blessing by lying and ran away from home.

Moses killed an Egyptian and ran away, before he later returned to bring the Israelites out of Egypt.

A famous one, Peter denied knowing Jesus.

Aaron made an idol of gold while Moses was literally talking to God on Mount Sinai.

Sarah (Abraham's wife) laughed at God's promise that she would have a son. She was even impatient and got Hagar involved to sleep with Abraham to get a son, and eventually drove Hagar away due to jealousy (after Sarah had Isaac), even though it was originally her idea.

Judas, a fellow disciple, (no I don't hate him, I understand. and honestly? if he didn't give into despair, God would've forgiven him like what God did to Peter. Judas has a sad ending. and before you judge him, a lot of us literally betray Jesus everyday for other gods) betrayed Jesus.

AND MUCH MORE. The Bible is so legit. My favorite book.

This is stuff LITERALLY found in the BIBLE. We're not saying it's correct what they did. But, it's meant to show, these broken people who even commit mistakes over and over, or big mistakes, God still uses them. God still loves them.

Why would you be any different? (trust me, I also have a hard time with this until today)

People sometimes don't know this, or don't talk about the "bad sides of people in the Bible". And yet, God still called them and cherished them. God already knows what they would do, what would happen, both good and bad, and yet God still suffered and died for them and us.

If God really wanted us dead, we wouldn't have existed and would already be dead.

Sometimes, Christians (or whatever denomination you may be, I don't care, it's about Jesus in the end) and even outside think "Oh, you struggle with sin, so you must not be Christian." It's not true at all. In fact, Jesus Himself said in this world, there will still be suffering. "But take heart, for I have overcome the world."

Actually, I would say you would suffer more following Jesus, because you're not from this world anymore. And the world hated Jesus. They literally crucified him, religious leaders, people in power, masses agreed to let an actual criminal go to crucify a man with no fault.

If the master suffered, what makes you think the servants won't suffer as well?

It's why Lamentations is my favorite book in the Bible (before it was Ecclesiastes). If you guys like dark content, I strongly recommend reading these two books. Lamentations especially for depressed people like me, lolll. Others prefer Psalms, but I prefer these two books.

But, in conclusion, even with my writing (dead dove, explicit stuff, etc.) I love JESUS. I literally hate myself to death, so how do you expect me to love myself and others if I'd rather just die than live? It's honestly a big enough accomplishment that I live everyday. I have a difficult time doing so, but I do it. Not because of feelings.

"The heart is deceitful above all. Who can understand it?"

But, because I love Jesus and I love my husband. I know they'll be sad if I offed myself. So, that's why I don't do it. And writing all this? Well, to me, as weird as it sounds, it's "therapy" for me. I can never relate to "happy and fluffy stories".

I won't expound. But, no one just one day wants to kill themselves. It's a gradual process. I'm not trauma dumping you all, but it's to show that even with what I have (and more), I love Jesus and Jesus is what keeps me going and doing everything. Even my very next breath and to live everyday is by Jesus.

When you have nothing. When you lose everything. When you're so used to darkness. You learn to appreciate the light more.

Jesus once said this even: Jesus answered them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” (Luke 5:31-32)

Let that sink in. SINNERS. He's calling the SINNERS. The lost sheep. The outcasts. The ones rejected by people and society. The poor (not simply monetary, but those unloved and weak, who have nothing to offer even to Jesus). In fact, Jesus even said, you would find Him among these people. The weak, the brokenhearted, the rejected.

Did you find him among kings? Among royalty during his time? He visited them to help them, or to heal, etc. But, usually. You would find Jesus among people who can't offer anything in return (and if they could, they could be like tax collectors hated by everyone else).

If you really want to know more about Jesus, read the Bible for yourself. The source. Be a skeptic, look at evidences and proofs before deciding if Jesus is reliable or not. It works the same with any research. Have the ethical integrity to study. Not simply relying on secondary or even false (misinformation) sources. Including your own bad experiences with religion. Get it from the primary source.

[satlun]

Best Mistake: John Constantine x fem!reader

Genre: emotional hurt, fluff and angst Trigger warnings: suicide attempt, depression, possessive behavior, supernatural, violence, swear words

It is difficult to tell if the relationship between you and him is truly what you want. You fight, break up, and then make up again and again. Even on little things, you both can just bring it up and end up with fighting almost every time. It is more of a loop, you might say. Every time these things happen, it wrecks you on the inside. Until one day, you cannot stand him anymore because he is too toxic and no good. You need to leave him.

Note: this is my first time writing short fiction in English, English is not my first language so if it sounds wrong/ weird or my grammar is wrong please correct me. I really want to improve my English. So don't be shy to correct me. Plus I think it's kinda CRINGE 😭 but I tried guys so please enjoy 😂 ***It might not make sense about hell thing but it is good to just let it be like that soo please don't take it too serious and enjoy! 🥺

Credit: gifs from Pinterest (cannot find the original post :/) https://pin.it/5fjM23VUA , https://pin.it/54AXo4AMa

Los Angeles, 2005

“Could you stop and listen to me first!?” John said with a sigh of irritation as he grabs your arm firmly while you're packing your bag, ready to leave.

You don't seem to stop what you're doing. This is the last time, it must be. You believe that is for the best. “I’m leaving, John. I mean it.” You said with simple directness.

“You're not going anywhere. Not without me.” The fact that he cannot live without you. He had been alone for almost his whole life before he found you. His life was miserable before you came and fulfill him with something that had never been given. It is just hard for him to just let you go like this even he is still mad at you. He pulls you closer to him because you don't seem to stop packing your stuff. Then you lose your balance and stumble into his chest.

“Yes. Without you.” You replied without any hesitation before pushing yourself away from him. For now, you just hope that you are heartless enough to leave him like you just said. You don't want to stuck in the loop again because it hurts your heart.

“And what about me, huh? Is that what you're going to do it again? Leave me for a few days and then come crawling back to me?” That's why you really hope that your heart is strong enough to leave everything behind. Even John.

“Well, not this time. I’m going back to New York.” New York where your parents live. Maybe leaving this big city and go, go far away from here will make you forget him faster. Far from here as much as you can, to the other side of the country.

That makes him even more unimpressive. He doesn't like the way you're about to leave him and go that far. Far enough to never see you again. He looks at you intensely as he pins you abruptly against the wall behind. “Who do you belong to?” That's the pop quiz of him. Every time you both fight, he brings up this question to remind you who you belong to.

You're tired of this question because it won't make anything better. It just keeps making you annoyed. “Stop asking me this question, John. I'm tired of it, it won't make anything better!” You shouted at his face. “Don't you understand that we don't get along? I tried, John. It’s still the same. Never change...” you try to hold back your tears.

“Just answer the damn question, [y/n].” He still insisted on the same question. “I belong to no one!” You snapped him immediately. Not even in a second you took to answer him. He just looks away with difteen face without saying anything. Before he can do anything further, you push him hard making him stumble backwards. You grab your bag and lead to the door without looking back because you just can't. If you look back, you will definitely walk back to him. It was always like that.

He follows you to the door, before you can reach the knob, he already push you against the door again. Push you hard that you can feel the pain on your back, You groaned in pain. “Fuck off, John... what the fuck is wrong with you!? You are acting like a possessed man. Why? Being an exorcist makes you go insane now?” That the worst thing you have ever said to him.

He can't believe what you said. “Is that it, huh?” He raises his eyebrows as he says back to you. “Now you think I'm possessed? That I'm not in my right goddamn head?” He grabs your collar bone firmly against the door. He uses violence again, that's the part you hate the most. His voice changes in a very unpleasant tone. He is real mad. “Maybe I just want to teach you a damn lesson, and you're making it hard for me.” You look at him right into his eyes. You still remain silent. “What? Cat got your tongue now? Talk back to me. Do it!” Remaining silent makes him even more angry. He pushes you hard against the door again but this time it's just too much for you to handle because your head was slammed on the door as well. Your eyes start to flutter slightly. You almost lost your balance as you try to grab his shoulder. He also grabs your waist for you to stand straight. “You belong to me. Understand? And you're gonna stay here with me.” He demanded you. “Fuck you, John... I belong to no one...” because of the pain of your head made you say so quietly as if you just murmur. You can feel that you are about to lose your consciousness. However, his eyes still fixated on you. “Yeah? Is that so? Say it again.” says in sarcastic voice as he grabs your shoulder and pin you to see your face clearly. He is pissing you off even more, you spits on his face because you can't stand him anymore. “Wrong answer.” He said. You are about to pass out now. Your both hands are on his arms, finding something to hold yourself from falling down as you rest your head on the door like a body without a soul. “You're so goddamn infuriating.” Before he can finish the sentence, you pass out beneath him. He grabs you quickly before you fall on the ground and then carefully picks you up to a dinner table then puts you down on the table. He doesn't even move you to bed, he just lets you lay down right there.

An hour later, your consciousness is back. You slowly get up and look around the room, you are looking for him. That's your first instinct. “John?” You called out his name unintentionally. There's no sign of him. You growl in pain again because your head hurts, both of your hand touching your head. While you're trying to remember about what happened before you passed out, John comes back. He opens the door and walks towards you with something in his hand. He puts the cigarette that is on his mouth down on an ashtray next to you. “Open your mouth. Wide.” He said. You're so confused right now because your consciousness is just got back. “What? What is it?” You look at something on his palm. “Tylenol. Open your mouth.” He demanded. You don't hesitate to open your mouth widely because your head hurts so bad. John puts the medicine in your mouth and pour drinking water after. The Tylenol didn't even reach your throat yet, he grabs the back of your neck and kisses you. One of his hand reaches out to your white shirt and unbuttoned it. You are shocked so you decide to push him away, he stumbles backwards. “What is wrong with you?” You said with confusion while John wipes your saliva off his lips. “You passed out and that what you have to ask?” He said. You don't understand what he is trying to tell. “You made me wait like a goddamn dog, and that's what you ask me?” He was just worried about you so much and it made him pissed. He is the type of guy who doesn't know how to say like a normal lover when he is worried. He just use bad words to express it. “Fuck off, John. Sex has nothing to do with this. Don't even think that you can use sex to bring me back because I don't.” Because you both always use sex as the solution to fix the shit that you both made up. You end up having sex with him and all of your madness goes away like nothing ever happened. “I don't want to have sex with you right now, [y/n]. You just put me through an hour of hell, worrying about your stupid ass.” He walks closer to you with your unbuttoned shirt, showing your cleavage. “What? Then why the hell did you kiss me then? It doesn't make sense.” You said back to him because you know damn well that he just wants to use sex to solve things like he always does. “Because I couldn't help it.” He holds his gaze on you. “I couldn't think about anything other than you being okay, and it pissed me off.” He said with a serious tone. He doesn't seem to be angry anymore except worrying about you. He always knows how to make you come back to him, the way he said that is just make you weaker. You decide to stay silent and listen to him. “Damn you, I'm sick of your bullshit. I'm gonna stay with you.” He insisted. “You pissed off that I might not be okay? You're the one who slammed me and made me pass out, John.” You reminded him that because you just don't understand him even you already tried to. He leans forward and puts both of his hands down on the table aside your legs, he faces you. “You can't handle even a slap without passing out. You're the most fragile thing I've ever met.” You don't get about what he says again, what he is trying to say? "You have no idea what I feel when you pass out like that, how worried I get about you. I swear, sometimes you make me feel like I want to tie you to my goddamn bed and make sure you can't get up!" He says murmured yet quite loudly. You bite your lips because of a little confusion. He is crazy. That's the only thing you can think of right now. Tie you up? That's insane. “What the fuck- You're insane.” You talk back. "Because you're reckless and careless, you give no regard to your own safety, and you're going to die because of it." He says aggressively, looking down at you with his eyes. All you do is keep staring at him because that's just too much for you.

John takes a hard exhale, running his hand through his hair. “We always have fights. That's just how we are. But you need to understand that it's different when you're unconscious and I can't even talk to you.” You can feel the worry through his voice. You know that you are everything to him even you both are in this toxic relationship that you both made. It's like a dilemma. Sometimes, you feel like you can't move forwards but you can't move backwards either. “Don't you understand that you're everything to me? And I’ll go to hell again to keep you alive.” And that was what he brought up. He saved your life once from suicide. He went to hell to bring back your life. That day he didn't hesitate to go to hell just for you. Your tears run down your beautiful face as he said that because of the vision of you being in hell is still remaining clear. John watches your expression as sighs deeply, taking another deep breath before continuing. “And you don't care, do you? Look at us, fighting as always, you passing out on me and me waiting and worrying when you won't wake up like a dog?” He looks down on the floor and murmurs. “Why the hell do we do this to ourselves?” He is blaming ourselves that we always end up fighting even after a little argument. It's how we are , just like he said. It doesn't easy to change in you both relationship.

You're staring at him with teary eyes. You can't hold back anymore. “You know... I’m not gonna last long. You bring me back from hell, that broke the rules. Lucifer will find me and drag me down to hell again. You can't protect me forever. One day, I have to die, John...” John scowls and clenches his fists. “If that bastard Lucifer gets his hands on you again, he will regret the day he ever dared to touch you.” He snapped, his voice cold and filled with rage. “I will not let him take you. I will kill every single demon that comes for you, and I will drag you out of hell every time if you end up there. Even if I have to walk to the pits of hell to find you, I will do it." He touches your hand. “I will do it again.” Your cheeks are full of tears. John slowly wipes out gently. That's why you can't get over him. His soft side is your biggest weakness. “Fuck you! I hate you, John... and I hate myself that I always lie to you that I really hate you...” John pulls you and let you lean on his chest. It is warm as if you're sitting in front of a fireplace after a long rainy day. All you can think about is that he risked his life just to have us here, sitting and fighting each other. The fact that if he couldn't come back in time, he could die in hell as well. “Damn it! You shouldn't have saved me... you should let me die... why did you do that? I shouldn't have fallen in love with you...” that's all you can say to express what you're thinking. He isn't impressed with that.

“Don't ever say that. Don't you dare wish for something like that. I saved you just to hear you say that?” He keeps saying, trying to express things that stuck in his mind because you said as if it was so useless that he saved you. All of it just because you don't want to fall in love with him? “You think I'd ever be happy letting you die, watching you die like that? Because I'd rather tear my own heart out than watch you do that. If you didn't make it, I'd go with you. I'd let Lucifer take me just so I could be with you.” The mixed feelings that are in your heart is just too much to say anything else. You end up pull his shirt abruptly and kiss him passionately. For a moment, you break the kiss and say quietly and slowly to make it very clear to him. “Don't you dare telling me that you would let Lucifer take you so you could be with me.” You squeeze his shirt and pull closer again. “I can't stand that.” One of his hands moving to grab your hip and pull your body against his. “Well, you'll have to deal with it" He mutters "Because I would." against your lips before kissing you again. “Fuck you, John.” John lets out a low moan, his hand moving to the back of your neck. “What if I die tomorrow? What if Lucifer finds me?” You asked. “Then I'll go to hell, get you, and put a bullet in Lucifer's head myself before I drag you back to earth.” John moans softly as he gives in to your kisses. “Say it again.” You whispered “I’ll go to hell and put a bullet in Lucifer's head...” John repeated while his hand moving to the back of your head and gripping your hair as he kisses you deeply. His other hand slides down to your thigh, his touch possessive and hungry as he pulls you close to him, his body craving you completely. “Finish the sentence, John.” you demanded. “And I will drag you back to earth...” He whispers against your mouth, taking another bite of your bottom lip. “Fuck-”

END

Note: I recommend you to read this next click here. It's like a sequel. It's not necessary to read both because you can understand the stories without one another. So up to you!!

.

Note: I just found that False God by Taylor Swift has the lyric that quite relate to the story omg!! Let me show you.

“We were crazy to think. Crazy to think that this could work. Remember how I said I'd die for you?”

“And I can't talk to you when you're like this. Staring out the window like I'm not your favorite town. I'm New York City. I still do it for you, babe.”

“I know heaven's a thing. I go there when you touch me. Honey hell is when I fight with you.”

“But we can patch it up good. Make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness.”

“But we might just get away with it. Religion's in your lips. Even if it's a false god. We'd still worship.”

“Still worship this love. Even if it's a false god. Even if it's a false god. Still worship this love.”

© satlun, 2024 : DO NOT PLAGIARISM OR ANY OTHER WAY OF REPHRASING

[zeherili-ankhein]

Hey, could you tell me what Kirnamala’s story is because I was not able to understand Wikipedia’s version 😭

The actual ‘Arun Barun Kiranmala’ story right??? 😭😭

Yeah don't go to wikipedia it's shit there, and that serial thing also exist so not good

This is actually my favourite Thakumar Jhuli tale I love it sooooo much Kiranmala is a fucking Queen, she'd always be my favourite girl.

Now get ready cuz this post is gonna be LOOOOOONGGGG

Also trigger warnings: mention of infanticide... Kinda? and bitchass peoples all over, killing those bitchass people and swearings.

So the story is kind of simple, it starts with the King (like any other tales)

The king was out one day, roaming around the city in disguise to know what people's problems were and stuff and hears this three sisters talking with each other.

The eldest said how she if she married (I forgot what she said sorry TvT) she'd be the happiest

The second one said that if she married the royal cook she'd be the happiest

And the youngest said, she'd be the happiest if she married the king himself and became the queen (lol! confidence gurlie confidence) and the others laughed at her

.......

So the king leaves after hearing everything, and next day he calls for the sisters to his court. Now obviously the sisters are scared shitless cause whytf was the king calling for them... So they go to the court

And king dude asks them to say what they were talking about last night, and the older two fearfully tells him. But the youngest gets obviously embarrassed and scared thinking she's gonna get punished. So the king reassures them, that they'd get what they had wished for.

So yeah oldest sis got married to her man of dreams and the middle one also married the cook. And king dude married the youngest one and made her the queen (I mean that's some really impressive rizz game he got tbh 🗿💀)

Now they are married and should be happy just as they wanted right? Yeah no lol then how would the story progress...

.......

So some years pass and the queen is now pregnant and the king dude, makes a diamond studded gold gold marble room for her to give birth (what do you call that? In bengali we say Atur Ghor)

And now queen requests him to let her sisters visit cuz she was missing them and wanted them to be present in the Atur Ghor and be her midwives. And the king agrees cause he couldn't deny anything to his wife.

But but but when those sisters came to the palace, they were in awe of how luxuriously their sister was living as the queen, and grew jealous.

So now the queen gives birth to a beautiful baby boy and the what the sisters do? Puts him in a jar, stuffs his mouth with salf and cotton and floats him in the river 💀 (like the audacity!!!)

The king asks what happened and they reply with that the queen had given birth to a puppy 💀 and shows him a new born puppy.

He just stays silent, obviously heartbroken wondering what happened...

So next year the queen is again pregnant and the sisters again come, she gives birth to another beautiful baby boy and they again stuff his mouth with salt and cotton and puts him in a jar, again floating him in the river 💀

The king again asks what happened and this time they reply she gave birth to a kitten showing him a kitten fetus thing and he again stays silent wondering how all thus was happening.

Third year same shit, a baby girl is born and the evil bitches again puts the cutie in a jar and floats her in the river like her brothers... :(

And shows the king a wooden doll, a literal freaking wooden doll 💀💀

.....

This time the king sits in despair and his people tells him, the queen must be some bad omen, alakshmi, a monster since the same thing keeps repeating every year, and he wonders it mist be true she must be some witch or something.

The people tells him, he should throw her away and he decides he'd do that and actually throws out poor queen :( out of the kingdom, not before the people publically shames her and all.... Yk the typical beizzati karna... 💀

And those evil psycho bitches happily go back to their own houses.

......

Now this side, a brahmin was bathing in the river when he noticed a jar floating. Not just any jar but a jar with a baby crying in it. So he hurries to get the jar and sees a beautiful godly baby boy in it. He washes all the salt and stuff and brings the baby home with him.

Next year he sees another jar, this time another beautiful baby boy in it and yet again he brings it home with him

Again same things happen the following year and he sees another jar, this time a beautiful baby girl in it, and he as usual brings her home with him.

Since he had no kid he adopts the trio as his own and decides to raise them.

AND THE ARE THE ICONIC TRIO — ARUN, BARUN AND ✨KIRANMALA✨

......

The kids grow up under his care, and they were like dev shishu, beautiful talented brightening the whole house.

Since they came in his life, the brahmin became RICH. Like good crops, more than enough milk from the cow, and everything. He became successful. They were like his lucky charms.

So now the kids are grown up and they are exceptional in everything, the bestest children anyone can ask for 😌 They take care of the house, learn scriptures from him and does everything, helps others and animals, looks good (yes ik this is propaganda)

One day brahmin calls them and caresses their head, telling them to live properly and happily and a lot more emotional stuff and... dude... dies... 💀 (ahh sadness we love you)

So Arun Barun Kiranmala becomes sad and cry that their father is dead and decides to follow the instructions and live harmoniously together.

.......

So back to daddy dearest king, he's in dispression for all this years thinking his kingdom must be cursed or something, and decides he'd go for hunting.

But when he was hunting, some shit happens... Sky lord got angry and made a hell lot of storms and rain, practically ruining his little kitty party and making him lose his way.

Next day he's roaming around looking for any house because he's so thirsty and would probably die without water.

He finds a house (you guessed correct!) and goes there begging for some water, and Arun Barun Kiranmala stares at him like 😶 as they bring him water to drink. He drinks it and then looks at the trio in awe, wondering who these godly looking younglings are. He asks them and they say they are brahmin's kids. (Love ya papa 🗿)

Hearing them, he kind of becomes emotional as he feels his heart beating faster (instincts? Ig..?) and cries a little as he tells them he's the sad king of that kingdom and if they even need anything they should tell him. Then he leaves.

......

So, now our baddie Kiranmala, innocently asks her brothers that “what does a king have?” and they say that they don't exactly know but have read in the books that a king has elephants, horses and palaces. So Kiranmala says that, “fuck elephants and horses we can't find them but make me a palace” 🗿 (I love her so much)

So her pookie cookie brothers say “okay” and gets to work. They literally work hard for 1 year 36 days nonstop without caring about hunger or thrist and built the palace. On exactly 1 year 36 days the palace is ready (yayayaya!!!)

Now the palace is made of marbles and diamonds and many other stones, with silver doors, golden tops, gardens, flowers, trees everything you can imagine. It's beautiful af. ✨🗿🤌 (Arun Barun legendary people)

.....

Now one day a sanyasi comes to their palace and while they were talking to him, he rambles about great many things like silver tree with golden fruit, a diamond like water fountain and a golden bird saying only those things would suit such a beautiful palace like the trio's.

So they ask where the can find those things and the sanyasi gives them the location and leaves. It's in some mystic mountain and all i forgot the details lol

.....

Arun decided he'd go get those things, and instructs Barun and Kiranmala to stay home and wait for him, giving them a sword saying if the sword starts to rust they'll know he's dead.

So months pass and Arun hasn't returned and the other two check his sword each day to see. But one day Barun notices the rusting, and breaks down crying, as he decides to go for himself.

He gives Kiranmala a bow and arrow saying if the tip of the arrow becomes blunt and the bow string breaks she'd know he's dead too.

So now Kiran is left home grieving and Barun is on his way to the mountain.

As Barun reaches the mountain, he sees the most beautiful place on earth, apsaras dancing and singing and all the magical creature and fog and everything. But suddenly he hears some voices calling his name from behind him and he turns around and BOOM he's a fucking stone statue (that's why you don't respond to strangers 🗿💀)

Barun wonders who'd save them as he realises both him and Arun are stone now.

......

Back home Kiranmala notices the blunt arrow tip and broken bow string realising both her brothers are gone, but she doesn't cry.

My girlie does all her house chores and then gets dressed like a warrior then kisses that cow's (it's name was Kajal Lata btw) bachhra and sets out for the mountain 🗿

And she's a badass, she's going by the speed of lighting not even stopping at anything. It takes her 33 days to reach the mountain.

Once she's at the foot of the mountain it's as if all kinds of calamities break down on it. Monsters and demons and ghost and wild animals all surrounds her and those weird ass noices come from all angles asking her to look at them behind, mistaking her for a prince.

BUT my bbg literally stops at nothing and runs the horse straight to the top where the silver tree and the fountain was, gripping her sword and all. 🗿🗿 (I love her so much ugghhh)

......

Once she reaches the tree, the golden bird tells her (yes it talks) to take all the things— the tree, the fruits, the sword, the bow, the arrow, the gems, the bird itself. Every single thing over there and then to beat the drum. And Kiranmala does as the birby say and as she beats the drum, all the chaos stops at the mountain and it becomes quiet. (Ok yeah maybe listen to birds who knows... I still hate birds tho)

Then birby tells her to sprinkle the entire mountain with that fountain water and as she does that, all those stone statues of all the people who had been there for so long turns back into humans and they all pay respect to her 🗿 Bahubali style 🗿 calling her the greatest in 7 yugas (exaggeration but honestly she's the QUEEN 👑 🗿✨)

Then Arun and Barun gets emotional and hugs her and yay!

......

They get back to their palace (which now isn't a palace but a whole ass land of wonder) and plants the trees and it starts to grow diamond and and gold and pearl and all. And that birby sits at the diamond tree and starts to sing. Then they put the fucking fountain amidst all these. 💀

And then they start to live their happily (you thought it's the ending? Nahi climax abhi baki haiiii)

Then one day birby tells them that they should invite the king to eat. So Arun Barun and Kiranmala are like

The trio: but what will we feed him??

Birby: I'll see that, just invite him

The trio: ok

And so they send him invitation 🗿✨

.....

This side daddy dearest hears about the wonderland the trio had created and is surprised those kiddos did so much, and then he recieves the invitation and he's like “hmmm gotta go and see for myself now aight”

And so Rajaji sets for their palace. Once he's there he's literally shik shaak shock seeing all the treasures and things everything, he makes the shocked pikachu face as he slowly starts to get emotional again, and cries badly thinking about not having kids and how he wished Arun Barun Kiranmala were his own kids.

He tells them to take him inside, and he's even more shocked when he sees the inside of the palace.

.......

Then they make him sit at the dining hall, and brings out all the varieties of foods, and now king bro is excited to eat because he's smelling the good food (feel you bro feel you)

All types of sweets, and foods and everything imaginable. So he picks up a bite but drops it asap as he realises everything infront of him is made of gold coins and gems.

So now he asks them if they are making fun of him or joking with him, and he gets the reply “why can't you eat it???”

King dude: it's all gold!!

???: yeah but why can't you eat it??

He sees a golden bird is talking to him and

King: yeah but it's fucking gold!!!

Birby: can a human give birth to a puppy??

King: huh?

Birby: tell me can a human give birth to a kitten??

King: ...huhh??

Birby: tell me king if a human can give birth to a wooden doll why can't a human eat gold???

King: ..... you're right.... Ohh how wrong I was!

.......

So basically the birby lectures dude about everything and makes him realises his mistake, as he breaks down crying (atleast bro ain't a toxic alpha male 💀🤌) as the bird says that these three beauties are his real kids, and those evil bitches masi(s) were the reason for all the puppy kitten wooden doll drama.

They all hug as the king cries in despair saying how he wishes his queen was with them right now. And birby tells Arun Barun Kiranmala that their mother stays in a hut on the other side of the river and instructs them to bring her as she's living her days in struggle and sadness (i mean that's obvious 💀)

.....

They bring back the queen, the king shifts his capital to that wonderland and everyone stays happily yay!

Aaaand as for those evil bitches, yeah king dude sends his men to burn down their houses and then nail them and bury them alive 💀💀

........

SOOOO THAT'S THE END OF THE STORY YAY

Im sorry it took me so long hehe,and even more sorry the post is so long (and not proof read so forgive the mistakes and typos ill see it soon)

Honestly it's my favourite story ever I love Kiranmala so much she's my babygirl shdggdbdsnndbd

[foone]

(screenshotted to avoid spamming their post with my OC/setting)

See, that's why you gotta watch out for chronomancers and other artificers in Union, because their weapon of choice is usually also a gun. And then you don't have a weapon advantage, and they've got arcane powers on their side. So you might have a very shiny ar-15 or something, but they've got a pistol that doesn't run out of ammo and can't miss and will do far worse things than poke holes in you if it hits you. As I've said before, when a wizard pulls the trigger on a gun pointed at you, you pray that it hurts, because the alternative is so much worse.

Anyway "the speed of latin" being associated with magic is funny, because on Union they actually have latin, not any kind of dog latin a la that one boy wizard made by the transphobe. (Such a silly idea anyway. You can't be a wizard without being trans. I don't care if you were AMAB and still use he/him and dress masculinely, you're trans, as your gender is now wizard. Your chromosomes aren't XY or XX anymore, they're W. For Wizard). The Silent Mother, the matriarch of their main religion, came from Earth, and her native language was Latin (or as they call it in Union, Old Tower). But the really funny thing is that you would never speak it. You can't, really. They don't have any idea of how it's spoken, there's no pronunciation rules. It's solely a written language used by the Tower church, and it's not supposed to be read aloud... and you'd have to try pretty hard to figure out how to speak it at all, given the lack of pronunciation rules.

It'd also be deeply, deeply blasphemous. And not in some cool "you could use this to summon the devil!" way, in a "this makes no sense and just offends every believer who hears you trying to do it" way. (They don't believe in a devil or a hell anyway, so that also makes no sense)

They do have a Tower sign language, which you could argue is kinda like "speaking Latin", but signed languages aren't really directly connected to spoken languages. The grammar is different. For example, compare how there's British Sign Language and American Sign Language, which aren't mutually intelligible despite both being sign languages used in places that have English as their primary spoken language.

Tower sign language is mainly known by d/Deaf people in Union and ordained members of the Tower church, not wizards (not that there aren't d/Deaf wizards, of course). It's importable because at the highest (no pun intended) levels of the Tower church, you literally can't speak. Not "aren't allowed" or "shouldn't", but can't, similar to how the City of Towers is a city of women, and that's not prescriptive but descriptive (which is not also not a pun, even if it might seem like one since I'm talking about linguistics).

Anyway yeah. Old Tower/Latin is a religious language in Union, not a magical one. Magic stuff is usually done with Unity (that's the language, not the video game engine), dwarven runic, or one of the sky languages. The church uses magic, sure, but they do it by working with outside magicians, not doing their own magical stuff. Religion and Magic are separate domains in Union, and both of them prefer it to stay that way.

[epiphainie]

what are some moments you’d like to see or you think we *should* get together between bucktommy in season 8? ‘should’ - not as in must get! but moments you think would be important to their growth and establishing them as a long term couple and would be very good for the story they’ve built so far

Hi anon,

Sorry for the very late reply, I had to think about this a bit because I love this question! This will get long, sorry in advance.

I think first things first, we need some drama lol. Seeing how a couple overcomes conflict for the first time is seeing how the relationship can/will prevail in the long term. It's also important as a story element, conflict is what makes characters make decisions and take actions, what enhances the emotional impact etc. After all, what is more satisfactory than the sense of resolution that feels earned?

I think the first type of conflict I would like to see them navigate through would be something interpersonal. I don't really want a bloated case of miscommunication because so far they have been presented to do very well in that aspect (Buck is for once not just going with the flow but proactively pursuing this relationship, they both apologize, they both hear each other, they both reassure the other etc.) but the reality is every new relationship will have a stumbling bit when it comes to communication.

I don't know what they'd specifically deal with (like Henren had trust issues and Madney ignored talking about mental health) but Buck - despite his progress - has very well-documented issues around his self-perception and the concept of love and we know it took Tommy a great deal of effort to become the guy he is today (who's in tune with Buck and seem to communicate very well), he also has his own demons. So the right triggering event can cause a moment of unexpressed emotions on both sides. (Our fic writers have been great coming up with ideas for this and I've seen many posts speculating, so if anyone has any specific scenarios in mind please put in the tags.) What I would really really love to see in a scenario like this is an explicit, on-screen reassurance of each other about the root of their issue. I want Buck to have a love interest who with clear words say what Buck needs to hear and I want Buck to reciprocate. Like I said, we've seen BuckTommy be mutually really good at this so far, so I would love to see how it looks when they deal with something bigger.

The second type of conflict I'd like to see them handle would be a conflict caused by an external threat. Maybe not something as dramatic (and hurtful) as Madney dealing with Doug but anything that puts them through the wringer a little bit. This and what I said above wouldn't need to be mutually exclusive events obviously (Gerrard, for example, can be an external threat AND a trigger for individual insecurities, interpersonal conflict etc.) but this I specifically want because I believe to convincingly set them up as a long term/significant relationship, they should show us them being a team, a united front. Where my first point was about seeing how they would navigate their individual traumas together, this is about seeing how they'd deal with the world that throws them a wrench.

Now that the heavy stuff is out of the way, I think we need to see how they would act as a couple in a group setting. This obviously touches many of the points we've collectively made over the past few months about how there's so much potential re: Tommy interacting with the other 118 members. I think one of the biggest fails of Buck's previous relationships from a writing point was how little they existed within the rest of Buck's world. The first time I watched that scene of Buck, Taylor, Eddie, and Chris having dinner together I had to do a double take because so much of Buck's relationship with Taylor and Buck's relationship with everyone else felt like two different shows. It was cute when Buck said "You don't want to see a hangry Taylor" - it made them sound domestic, it made their relationship feel actually lived. This is such a little thing for BuckTommy to feel integrated and real imo. I don't mean they have to write BuckTommy as the center of attention in a group setting, what I mean is that they need to extend BuckTommy's existence as a couple to the broader context of the show.

Kind of building on this, another thing I think would serve very very well here is if we see Tommy interact with others when Buck is not there. If we want BuckTommy to exist beyond the context of their 1:1 scenes, we need Tommy as an individual to exist beyond that as well. Again, this is going back to how Tommy has the potential for these dynamics to feel organic in a way that didn't exist with prior LIs before. And I think one specific thing I would really like to get (and this is gonna sound ironic bc I said we need Tommy uncoupled from Buck just now) is Tommy talking about Buck to other people. As we need Tommy to exist in Buck's greater world, with his people in a way that his ex-girlfriends didn't, we also need Buck to exist in Tommy's world even when he's not there. The only comparison I can make here is Abby as she was the only previous LI who had her own relationships, but damn, did we ever see a love interest talk about why Buck matters to them, how he makes them feel etc. I wanna know how Tommy perceives Buck. This is like 101 if you wanna sell to the audience the love interest is actually interested too.

Couldn't find a place for this (maybe group-setting entry was more fitting love) but I also would really like to see them act casual. This is way more superficial than my other points but I was just watching some 911: LS scenes and I truly believe one of the reasons Tarlos is sold so well is because we get domestic, comfortable touches in every scene. Again, making a relationship feel actually lived. I don't think any of the 911 couples engage in this as much as Tarlos do but they certainly still do to a degree and I want and need that for BuckTommy.

Thanks for the ask anon!