ittybittyhuac

[ittybittyhuac]

a wizard is going to turn you into a random animal! whether you like it or not! how nice of them! spin the wheel to find out which class your new species belongs to (and then probably do a google).

[ittybittyhuac]

pick your poison LMAOOO

[ittybittyhuac]

House Party

[ittybittyhuac]

this happens in alecto the ninth, i got an advanced copy

[ittybittyhuac]

One day, back when I was a barista, I was on the closing shift and right before close an old lady wearing a custom t-shirt that said "I fuck gamers for free" called me a twink to my face and when i asked how she knew that word she said she bullies people on tumblr for fun.

Then she asked me what my blog was called and I said "how did you know i had a tumblr?" and she didn't say anything, she just looked at me.

So I just told her and she said "I know you, you post like someone who would cry if I tossed a football at you."

At this point i was choking back tears but I managed to stammer out "d-do you want to order something?"

After a couple seconds she says "gimme a whiskey sour, top shelf stuff only" and when I told her we didn't sell alcohol, she shrugged and popped her heelies out.

On her way out the door, she shouted back at me "Buffy ended decades ago, you gotta let it go" and i swear she just vanished.

Do you think this was a sign?

[ittybittyhuac]

You haven’t posted today and I’m just sad. Do you have a life or something now

Absolutely not I went to the grocery store dressed as an insane goth fisherman to inspect bread packaging. For my next internet video content.

[ittybittyhuac]

gideon the ninth is so good but i just can’t seem to find the first 8 books anywhere

[ittybittyhuac]

[ittybittyhuac]

god please i want them to be involved so fucking bad

[ittybittyhuac]

Back in the office/ back on my bullshit

[ittybittyhuac]

Never ever ever eat raw white onion and then smoke cigarette.

[ittybittyhuac]

Every time i purchase a moderately expensive item the Karl Marx on my shoulder is like "For shame... you purchase yet another pair of jeans when you have 5 already at home, you despicable commodity fetishist? In my time, a man with five outfits would consider himself blessed beyond measure, and yet you want for more, while there are children starving in the world??" to which the second Karl Marx on my other shoulder says "Objection! Those 5 pairs of jeans all wildly uncomfortable or have holes in the ass, due to the decline of clothing quality driven by the fast fashion industry, unfortunately making this purchase a necessity... Plus, by purchasing a slightly more expensive pair of jeans from an independent brand, seeking quality over 'brand recognition', they are deliberately trying to avoid engaging in conspicuous consumption!" to which the third Karl Marx clinging to my back like that beetle from Doctor Who says "Remember, my friend; the less you eat, drink, buy books, go to the theatre or to balls, or to the pub, and the less you think, love, theorize, sing, paint, fence, etc., the more you will be able to save and the greater will become your treasure which neither moth nor rust will corrupt — your capital. Buy the jeans," to which I say "I don't know if any of you have actually read Karl Marx"

[ittybittyhuac]

Are YOU gonna let THE GOVERNMENT tell YOU what YOUR GENDER is? That doesn't sound like Life Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness to me! PROTECT your individual FREEDOMS and call your senator: we want the GOVERNMENT to stay OUT OF OUR PANTS! GENDER FREEDOM NOW!

[ittybittyhuac]

“sisko would love his lizard child”

HE ALREADY DOES

[ittybittyhuac]

Unvailing of the "Threshold babies" - 2025

[ittybittyhuac]

[ittybittyhuac]

Next Magazine - Featuring Chow Yun Fat and Tony Leung in what I assume is a promo for Hard Boiled.