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pricegouge · 2 days ago

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Humor Me (Even When it's Ruining Me)

part two

masterlist | taglist: pricegouged

babysitter!reader x single dad!price

cw: fem reader. implied age gap. nothing specific beyond reader being legal. alcohol. reader is a brat and john's having a lot of fun with it. inappropriate work flirting lmao. also i beefed john up cause i could. daddy kink. MDNI

Banner by @/cafekitsune

Chapter two

Three weeks later and you don't quite know what's happened, or who you even are anymore. You're waspish and short, run ragged between classes and the two families you've somehow managed to become employed for. They're nice enough to coordinate between themselves, most nights - Kate reaching out with a schedule the two of them have agreed on that lets you manage both kids at once. That doesn't mean they can always get their kids under the same roof for you, their schedules always too full to manage the drive across town. As if yours is any better.

The tentative routine you've fallen into is easy enough on paper, attending morning class before heading over to the Laswell's and doing most of your classwork there, even attending an online lesson once a week because Colin is a little angel who can remain calm as long as you are, but it all goes pretty much to shit the second you embark to pick up Emily from preschool around midafternoon, loading Colin into the carseat the Laswells very generously bought for you.

(Between the fact that it stays belted into your car twentyfour seven now because you don't trust yourself to reinstall it properly without the weirdly mechanical tests John used to ensure its safety when he set it up the first time and the fact that Colin can occasionally be heard cooing in the background of your more interactive lessons, there's definitely a rumor going around campus that you have a baby. You're not sure how you feel about it, but it does tend to keep the more annoying boys at arm's length so you haven't really gone out of your way to correct it quite yet. Emily's booster gets stored in your trunk, though. You don't quite want to know what kind of leper you'd become if your classmates thought you'd been on Sixteen and Pregnant.)

The girl is… tougher. Well behaved but boisterous, moody at times. Her rambunctiousness is infectious, gets Colin worked up from the confines of his seat in a way he doesn't usually wind down from for hours while Emily prattles on about her day and waves glittery crafts at you, leaving your car looking like a bad drag hangover, still-tacky finger paints smearing like lipstick stains on your upholstery.

(This is why Emily's booster stays in the trunk, there's already enough misleading evidence all over your car.)

(This is why John doesn't pick up his own daughter, you're fairly sure, and you've half a mind to install a glitter bomb in his glove box as revenge.)

You don't always have to watch the girl, John's evening schedule an unfixed thing, but Emily always seems excited to see you pulling up, as if she knows that her father works even when he's home. It's why you try to stay patient with her when her boundless energy riles the baby up, or when her incessant need for attention prevents you from finishing papers on time. It's not her fault, but it is slowly driving you insane.

Gina helps out when she can, usually bringing dinner for everyone when she stops by the Price's to pick up her kid in the early evening. Sometimes she even stays for a bit, helps keep Emily entertained while you streamline the bedtime routine with hopes of finishing up homework after she tucks in for the night. It's a valiant effort made by all, but the girl doesn't often play along, much too busy antagonizing you to bother showering in a timely manner. There are nights you think of her more like a little sister than a client, the way she picks on you. You feed it right back in your darker hours, when having every minute of your day planned out and consumed weighs on you, giving you teeth. You'd made her cry once by mistake, your tone more than your words themselves needling under her skin until she burst into tears, hid in her room until her father came home. There'd been an odd sense of relief to it, balancing out the panic of a bad review. Sure, you'd be fired and no one would want to hire you ever again if John used that one app where you got most of your odd jobs, but at least the Laswells wouldn't give you up and you could return to your regular schedule. But when Mr. Price got home that evening, he'd only listened to his whiny daughter with a soft smile, kissing her on the forehead before telling you both that he 'Wished his girls would get along.'

You can see where Emily gets it from, her ability to drive you insane, but where the girl is loud and prickly or candy-sweet by turns, a constant one man crew of Guess Who, her father is a steady, low stream abrading you, the funnel where he slips through your cells eroding until he's a constant bubbling under your skin. He's incorrigible, insidious, shameless.

Escalating, lock step with you.

You still haven't returned his shirt. Well, technically you had - once. Worn it that Wednesday, the first time he'd asked you back. You'd done it with every intention of teasing him a little, noting you'd need a replacement if he wanted it back now, and changing out of it before leaving for the night. He'd turned it on your head with a simple 'You could always just take it off,' before you'd even been able to reveal your plan to give it back to him.

He should have expected you to retaliate after that, returning home with it once more. It's remained safe in your dresser ever since, one less avenue for him to come barrelling down the center of, catching you in his headlights like a deer too scared to run. And if keeping it means you get to wear it to bed sometimes, so be it. That's his fault, too, always texting you so late to 'make sure you got back okay.' It's possible he's being gentlemanly, but that would be a first so you refuse to believe it, assume instead that he wants to make you think of him when you're climbing into bed each night. Like you need the help, like you haven't already worn the scent off his shirt. Sometimes you think about weaseling another one from him, or wonder how long it would take him to notice if you outright stole one. You know which room is his, have caught glimpses through the cracked door sometimes when following Emily up to her room. He never shuts it, too trusting. You probably would've already gotten yourself off on his pillow like a bitch in heat if he hadn't let slip early on that Emily sometimes likes to sleep in his bed when he's away. 'Think she misses me sometimes,' his voice was sad but the leer he gave you as he continued was anything but. 'She's allowed, if she wants.'

The next day he mentioned Emily falls asleep quickest when someone lies down with her to read her story. Your papers continue going unwritten, the girl wandering out of her bedroom late into the night because you refuse to start the habit when you know how it will end.

It's unsustainable, feels like you're circling the drain. But the money is great.

While the Laswells had never been stingy, John pays you like a dental surgeon each time he needs you. That same exorbitant rate from the first night, now with a prepaid gas card he seems very uninterested in monitoring the spending of. You'd be tempted to test your theory if you had time, take a road trip out to your parents or something just to see if it ever got declined. Sometimes you fantasize about it at night, texting him an SOS and a picture of your gas gauge on E. It's embarrassing how often he shows up to save the day in your daydreams now, racing to your side in his gleaming Lexus to refuel your car with a suggestive smile, working the nozzle past your intake valve like he's slipping into a wet cunt.

You should probably get laid, but who has the time? Especially given your… situation.

(Your situation being there is no situation. Never has been one. Virginal as the day you were born save for some over-the-pants heavy petting in high school and a rotation of cheap drug store vibes you usually end up abandoning for your own fingers because dear god, you'd think you'd have learned after the first wasted investment but up until now, with John's much needed help, you haven't really been in a position to just spend on sex toys all willy nilly and while yeah, sure, you are now, every time you go to spend his money on an imitation cock you can't help thinking might look like his, you suddenly remember you're only here because you can't put your big girl panties on and -.)

It takes time, is the problem. You don't need the whole blanket under the stars treatment, but you at least want some evidence that you're not going to get jackhammered into the mattress by some selfish, overeager boy who wouldn't know how to get you off if you gave him a manual. But evidence takes time to gather, takes meetups in frat parties you have no interest in attending, and makeout sessions smelly couches just to see if your partner knows how to use their tongue. And for all his provisions, John (John.) has made well and truly certain that the one thing you don't have, is in fact time.

>Need you tonight.

The vibration of your phone against the library desk is loud as a gunshot, the message itself ringing in your ears just as bad. You placed your phone back on the table and sent your deskmate, a handsome senior named Paul who'd been your unofficial Saturday morning library pal for the last two semesters, an apologetic glance.

Paul just waved his hand at you dismissively, a small smile tugging at his lips. With his head bowed into his fourth edition of a rather intimidating neuroscience textbook that gave you anxiety just looking at it, the only way you could tell he wasn't annoyed by your antics at all was the dimpling of his cheeks. It distracted you momentarily, the urge to nibble at the fat there sudden and overwhelming, then your phone vibrated again because you'd been too distracted to silence it and you snatched it back up with an annoyed huff, ready to tell your employer off about disturbing your Sacred Saturday, your one day off a week.

(Again.)

> I know what day it is but it's an emergency.

> I'll make it up to you.

< how so?

You chew your lip waiting for a response, the bubbling typing indicator roiling like your stomach. It's always like this, texting with John - every response teetering on too much. It's why you usually prefer to coordinate with the Laswells as much as possible, minimizing your discussions with Mr. Price to those late night 'Did you make it home okay?' messages.

(And sending him a photo evidence that his shirt was still safe and in your care once.

If you'd been wearing it at the time, snuggled up in bed and haloed in warm fairy lights with the hem riding a little high, that was his fault for asking after it so late.)

Tap, tap, tap.

Across from you, Paul drums his pen off the spiral notebook that sits between you, a custom since your third week sitting together. It's blank aside from your brief, handwritten conversations as far as you can tell, an accessory Paul seems to carry around for this express purpose, evidently preferable to just asking for your number so you can text each other to get around the strict no talking policy in the quietest lounge of the library. In the year or so since you've met him, you've never heard Paul talk, all of your correspondences reduced to the notebook which he draws your attention to now, his tidy scrawl asking a simple but damning question: 'Who's the guy?'

You shake your head, instinctual - automatic. Paul crooks an unimpressed brow at you and underlines his original question.

'Just some guy I work for, why?'

Paul smirks when he reads it but turns serious in response, waving at your overall demeanor as if that answers everything.

In your palm, your phone gives a muted buzz and you have to physically swallow back the urge to check it immediately. You roll your eyes at Paul instead. A poor excuse for the frustration you want to unleash, but opening the valve even a hair was better than just letting it build.

His scrawl is neat when Paul responds. Unaffected, calm. 'You've got a crush.' And then below that, its own paragraph: 'Should I be worried?'

It takes a moment for the words to register, the moment dragging out too long before your eyes dart up to your deskmate. Paul winks, scheming and sly, and your jaw hinges open in shock.

Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz.

"Shit," you hiss, scrambling out of your seat as your phone continues to vibrate with an incoming call. John's contact lights the screen, the stupid money bag emoji you'd used for him mocking you. You wait until you make it to the stairwell to answer to avoid the worst of the librarian's wrath, though she still shoots you a disapproving glare as you stalk past her post. You've half a mind to let the stairwell door slam behind you, but it would echo louder than your anger and you want John to hear every word when you accept the call.

"I am at the library," you hiss by way of greeting, as if that perfectly illustrates why you're so annoyed with him.

John just grunts, uninterested. "Are you available or not tonight? I need an answer ASAP so I can make plans if you're -."

"I'm off on Saturdays."

A beat passes as John recollects, evidently unused to being interrupted. "Right. Which is why I offered to pay you double your regular rate."

Confused, you check your texts to read the one you'd missed, too busy being chatted up by a cute boy much more appropriately aged. In it, John pleads desperately with you: offers twice your pay, dinner, anything you want.

You think of Paul's cute dimples, the way he's known you for a year without asking for your number. You think of John covered in shaving cream, his first words to you a joke about how desperate you looked - how desperate you both looked.

Hand pressed to your forehead, you shut your eyes and ask what time John needs you.

"Oh, thank you so much, sweetheart. A real lifesaver. I promise I'll make it up to you, just tell me how, okay? And as for tonight, no later than seventeen hundred, please - though honestly you can come by anytime, I'm sure Emily will be happy to see you."

Emily. Right. "Well I'm at the library for a reason, so -."

"You can use my study, of course. The munchkin knows better than to bug me when I'm in there."

Unbidden, you imagine pestering John yourself when he's lounged in some fancy modern desk chair, leather and broad. You bet his study smells like tobacco, that there's a bar cart in the corner. You imagine him using your mouth like a tumbler of whiskey, punishment for running it too much. He'd drink from your lips whenever he -.

"But I suppose I don't have all those useful resources like textbooks… well, consider it a standing offer."

"S-sure, Mr. Price. Thanks."

"Of course. I'll see you later, then?"

"Yes, sir."

On the other end of the line, John's breath stutters. His voice is low when he signs off, blunt and direct. Doesn't wait to hear your response. "Be good, sweetheart."

***

You're not entirely sure what being good constitutes, but you're fairly sure using John's emergency credit card Emily located for you in the freezer to Instacart approximately one day's minimum wage worth of junk food because Emily had been sad and despondent all day wasn't it. Nor was letting her dance her sugar rush off to less than appropriate music, probably, but it was worth it to see her smiling again after the fit she'd thrown when her father had left for the evening. You're both sweaty and breathless now, collapsing onto the couch between songs to shovel more M&Ms into your mouths and make fun of each other's dance moves. Emily says you use too much arm movements, but she's only four and thinks hopscotch skips are the new craze so you ask what she knows anyway and laugh at the way she rolls her eyes at you.

John's talkative too, apparently, the unexpected clients he'd been urgently called in to entertain evidently not holding his attention. He's never exactly radio silent when you've got his kid in your charge, but he usually lets you take the lead (pepper him with stupid questions you already know the answer to just to find an excuse to distract him because maybe you kinda like how short he gets) on those nights.

(Despite this standard, you don't feel the need to tell him you'd managed to read his credit card number through the brick of crystalline ice he'd cleverly hidden it in. You hope he's really short when he figures that stunt out.)

Tonight, however, it's John peppering you with questions. They start out innocent enough, asking after his daughter because he felt bad leaving her on a night that he'd promised to be home and he could see how much it upset her. Those questions peter out when you send him a picture of her all giggly and wound up, her hair freshly braided in a style she said he's too clumsy to accomplish for her. With confirmation that his daughter was feeling better, John's texts turn rapidly back to you.

> And how about you, sweetheart? Are you doing better?

< wym, better?

> What do you mean, wym?

< har har

> I mean you were rather short with me earlier. Are you still upset with me?

> I promise I also don't want to be working on a Saturday, for what it's worth.

< not mad

< just seems like you're not really needed with how much you're blowing up my phone

> Honestly, no. This is a waste of both our time.

> Have you decided how I can make it up to you, at least?

Actually, you hadn't even thought of it, figuring he was just being exaggerative - that he'd pay you your exorbitant rate and be done with it, send you on your way with your thoughts all twisted after some more growled insinuations and a pat on your ass, probably. He seemed like he was maybe two visits away from trying his luck, anyway.

Maybe you could ask for it sooner. Clear the air, finally feel his hands on you. You tell him you don't want anything, clarify nothing he can give you when he calls that out for being a lie.

> Sure about that? I can help with most things.

And the thing is, he's right. There are a lot of things you want. You want to get a better grade on your next econ assignment, you want a full night's sleep. You want to have free time, pick up a hobby. You have a growing desire to learn how to make the perfect pasta after seeing her scarf so many lackluster take out spaghetti bolognaise dishes. The solution was obvious, though one you knew he wouldn't want to hear.

< okay. i want more free time

> So quit with the Laswells.

It draws you up short, Emily bouncing around you unawares. It's one thing to suspect John's - your - end game, but another thing to see it batted around so casually. It makes you feel taken advantage of, guided in a way you don't necessarily appreciate. The Laswells were your first real, well-paying gig, your ticket to independence. You didn't relish the thought of abandoning them and you certainly didn't like to be coerced into the decision.

But John did pay very well.

< just like that?

John's answer is far too quick, the status changing directly from read to answered with a speed that suggested he may have had a response drafted already which he simply copy/pasted.

> It would make the most sense. I can pay well enough to make up for the lost income, plus my schedule works better with your classes.

> Honestly, I'm surprised you even lasted as long as you did with them.

< i wouldn't want to let them down…

> Nonsense, I'm sure they'd understand. You're a busy girl with a full schedule, afterall.

So were they - the whole reason you'd been working for them so long.

< i don't think i could quit on them. kate scares me.

> I'll take care of Kate, okay? No need to worry. I owe you one anyway, remember?

>Just let Daddy handle it.

It takes you a minute, the words somehow too natural to trip you up. Before you, Emily screeches happily about some cartoon that's maybe a touch too old for her and you think to yourself that she's going to sleep good tonight, all tuckered out as you know she's going to be and then you nearly drop your phone in your rush to chastise him, or run your mouth like you always do, or maybe double down on your request.

But the words don't come. Every time you manage to string two whole thoughts together it peters out, the textual manifestation of the gaping anime gasp he's managed to draw from you as you imagine him watching your typing bubbles appear and fizzle over and over again. If he's watching, of course, but he's a busy man so maybe -.

This time when your phone buzzes, there's no threat of a scolding librarian to keep your yelp suppressed. Just the odd look Emily shoots you before being distracted by her brightly colored show again, turning away from you disinterestedly as you excuse yourself to the kitchen.

"Mr. Price?"

"Do I make you uncomfortable?"

"S- sorry?"

His voice is calmer when he repeats himself, the same tone he uses on his daughter when she's too fidgety to listen. "Do I make you uncomfortable?"

And that answer is easy because the flutter in your tummy you get whenever his words grow a little too overt is not discomfort, so the answer comes easily, if quietly. "No."

"Do you want me to stop?"

Through the fog of your fluster, you remember Paul and his glacial pace, the cat calls from boys you've never met before and have no interest in. This is different. This is good. "No."

The breath John lets out doesn't sound like he's been holding it, more a pleased sigh than anything, accompanied by a low hum. "Good girl. Appreciate you telling me. Is this something you want?"

"I just said -?"

"Not wanting me to stop and wanting something to follow through to its logical conclusion are not the same things. Is this something you want?"

The question grates - the notion that he would think of this all as a waste of time if you didn't know you wanted him, maybe. "Hadn't thought about it. You only just -," You counter vehemently, but John just laughs, a heavy burst of breath through his nose. It catches in his mustache - wind cutting through the grass.

"If I were to come home tonight to find you sleeping on my couch and decided to wake you up all sweetly and softly, would that be alright?"

You picture yourself sleep-soft and pliant, heavy hands soothing over your flank as John's rough voice coaxes you awake. "Yes," you breathe.

He hums approvingly. "And if I were to wake you with my tongue in your cunt, would that be too much?"

"John -!" you hiss, scandalized.

"Try again."

A beat passes where you try to smother the pit of nerves in your stomach. "Mr. Price."

"Better. Answer the question, sweetheart."

"Mr. Price, I -." You huff a breath, take advantage of the fact he can't see you to visibly straighten your spine, steel yourself. "Mr. Price, what do you want?"

He doesn't miss a beat. "Easy. I've wanted to bend you over every available surface since you first barged into my bathroom and hinged yourself over that sink."

"I didn't."

"I want to keep that clever little mouth of yours quiet by stuffing it full of my cock. But I also want to hear you complain about what a brat my daughter's been all night because you're cute when you're mad. I want to come home and know what the two of you grabbed for dinner by licking it off your teeth." He pauses to give you an opening, notes your silence, and continues in a much softer voice. "And I want you to be able to focus on school a little better."

You can't manage anything better than a soft oh, and John's responding laugh is a low rumble, voice deceptively soft when he continues - the same voice he uses on Emily when she's too tired to behave properly. You wonder if his colleagues can hear him again, wonder if that's just how he's going to speak to you regardless.

"The question, sweetheart."

"I would like that, Mr. Price."

John's silent in the beat that passes, a hinge creaking open spilling ambient chatter in the background. He'd been sequestered, which means that last tone was only meant for you. "I'll see you tonight, kiddo. Behave for Daddy, yeah?"

#john price x reader #captain john price x reader #humor me

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blueishspace · 2 days ago

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Hero, Villain, God.

(Next)

Your name is Grian...

... Well, It's quite a bit more complex then that.

Your name was ____ when you first emerged from the void from which all came from. Brother to creation and destruction and order. A god of nothing... yet.

Your name was Xelqua when the other gods were created and needed a name for you... That was your name when Aeor created the stars and when Lady Life created the first miniscule cells and it still was when Lady Death was created to collect them.

Your name was T⍑∷ᒷᒷ when you annhilated the creatures of the Cambrian, when you erupted the Earth and destroyed those of the Permian and when you shot an asteroid at the massive reptiles of the Cretaceous.

After that your names have been many. You have been called Set and Eris and Loki and Balor and Leviathan and so much more. Pandeminium is a favorite of yours, after all that was what you caused when you introduced superpowers to the world 100 years ago.

But now, now your name is Grian. You had to pick a new name if you wanted to truly pretend to be a mortal and Grian just had such a nice sound to it.

Who Grian is going to be... You haven't decided yet, there is just so many things you could do that you hardly needed to plan. Could you Imagine it? Chaos itself making a plan? Now, that would be something...

Where Grian is... something you can answer much more easily, you are somewhere in Hermitopia. If you were to guess somewhere near the hero tower.

Lastly, as for why Grian is? Why you decided to do this at all? Well, you just wanted to have some fun! Mess with heroes and villains alike a bit! After all, things have been far to peaceful as of recently and you were getting bored.

Chapter 1

Poultryman was going to be the one to be "born" first. What better then a vigilante persona made as an excuse to trow at eggs at villains and heroes alike in the name of justice? It was just to fun of an idea not to do it. Creating him wasn't even that hard, you gave your human form some chicken-like wings and a chicken mask and it was done... Now to actually begin your act.

It's your first night out as a vigilante and you have already ran into a mugging, you are almost impressed.

"Look who we have here" The thief looks back at you, you can see he's holding a knife... It's pretty small, kinda embarassing on his part.

He seems a bit surprised by you being here, he has to have like no spacial awareness whatsoever because you haven't done anything to hide yourself while you were approaching.

"Who are you!?"

Is it really not obvious? One would think the outfit or the mask would speak for itself... Perhaps you have overesrimated mortal minds, you'll have to introduce yourself it seems.

"Well!? I have a knife"

Ohhh, a feisty one. Also, very impatient, you were getting to it. Guess It's time to introduce yourself officially.

"I am... Poultryman"

...

"Poultryman? Really?"

Excuse him? Poultryman is a great name, he must clearly be blind to the divine genius you possess. For that alone now he's definitely getting egged. You decide not to give him time to continue, you don't really care for what he might say. You throw an egg in his face causing him to fall to the ground and letting the woman that was being mugged have the opportunity to get herself free from the hands of the mugger.

"An...egg? What the fuck-"

You egg him again for daring to question the holy egg, this one actually spawns a chick.

"Stop it!"

You think about it...for about two seconds. "No" You egg him again... He doesn't seem very happy about it, he actually must be pretty mad because he tries to stab you... It doesn't work, of course, you can't exactly stab a concept, but still...very rude.

You teleport behind him and knock him out, this thing was taking too long at this point. You then turn to the grateful woman.

"Well then, that was easy, if you could call someone now to pick up this guy that would be great"

And then you're gone. Wonder how long it will take for the news to hear about you.

The answer is apparently: not that long.

#trafficblr #traffic smp #hermitblr #hermitcraft #grian #Hero villain god au

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riflebrass · 2 days ago

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I'm interested in the audio but a few things don't add up.

I'll state the obvious. The secret service fucked up big time. This wouldn't have happened if they did their jobs right and that's the biggest finger pointing to the possibility of an inside job but I still have questions.

Speaking of audio I saw a thing where someone compared the impacts of the bullets with the sounds of the gunshots to try and pinpoint how far away the gunshots were. If I remember correctly it was within 20 meters of the shooter's position which depending on the velocity of the ammo and atmospheric conditions could be an acceptable margin of error.

Do you think Trump's vest was rated to stop rifle bullets? It was thin to be inconspicuous under his clothes and didn't come with plates so I'm willing to bet it wouldn't. Even if it could stop mild rifle rounds the government could have given the shooter a more powerful rifle capable of penetrating the vest. Better yet the secret service could have given him a temu knockoff vest and he wouldn't have known the difference.

A shooter competent enough to be trusted with the job knows that a headshot is unreliable. The chest is bigger and slower, especially if the target is standing still. People move their heads a lot while they talk energetically but the chest not so much. The average anti-gunner can be easily convinced that "assault weapons" can defeat "bulletproof vests". Meanwhile people who know guns and gear could be easily convinced that his vest was only rated for pistols so any rifle would have penned it. The government coroner and the FBI handling the investigation would make sure to confirm it was a 5.56 bullet and pistol armor.

And even after the shooting failed there are other ways to get to him. The man loves diet coke. The flavor is strong enough I'll bet it could mask the flavor of some kind of poison. The coroner can conveniently miss it on the toxicology and label it a heart attack. At his age with all the pressure he's under that's a very believable cause of death. Even after the shooting failed that could have been a backup plan a while later when the heat died down. Naturally a lot of people would be suspicious but it could be covered up enough that I'll bet nobody would do anything about it.

Hell, with so much talk about cheating in this election why didn't they rig it again if they cheated last time?

If he was such a threat to the establishment they would have pushed harder to get rid of him. The second attempt was so laughably pathetic there's no way they were in on it.

When the secret service fucked up on the first attempt I'm betting letting some random shitlib give it his best shot was fine. His death could serve their purposes but I don't think it was absolutely necessary.

Anyone else getting the feeling that this was too easy?

Trump wins immediately, Kamala concedes the next day, and everyone seems to be happy. Kinda like the fraud, the destruction of the American judicial system, the outrageous cost of everything (aka inflation) and the TREASON committed by the military and the three letter agencies is just forgotten. Everyone skipping around like the problems have been solved.

Yes, this is a good start, having Trump back in the Oval Office, but the tyranny that We have lived under these last 4 years has left an indelible mark. We don't get those four years back. The damage is done.

Sure We can start rebuilding. We can close the border, We can drill for oil and build a pipeline, We can start building wealth again, We can put an end to the wars going on around the world, but the corruption of the three letter agencies remains. The weaponization of the judicial system with its corrupt judges remain. The foolish turncoats in the Pentagon remain. The propaganda and the deception of the media remains. THE FACT THAT THE 2020 ELECTION WAS STOLEN REMAINS!

The Government Men are still in their bureaucratic positions and no one has been held responsible for the damage done to the nation that I love.

There can be no freedom without Justice. Letting the criminals go, with their government pensions intact is not Justice. Failure to address these many issues is not Justice. Nor is it mercy. Infact its down right dangerous and it sets Us up for failure in the future.

Our problems will not be fixed until Rope is employed. We will not survive if the traitors are left free to roam about continuing their destruction of Our values. I still believe in Rope. Justice demands a reckoning. Things are not right just yet. There is still work to be done.

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charles-leclerc-official · 1 day ago

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Formula 1 Drivers as Supernatural Episodes

I have selected 2 episodes from the CW's hit show Supernatural for each driver in the 2024 F1 season. Enjoy!

These are episodes I feel fits a driver's personality/vibe/style/history and are meant to be complimentary. This is very vibes based XD

Presented in team order <3 (also I guess spn spoilers warning)

Charles Leclerc: Lazarus Rising x The Man Who Would Be King

Charles and the angel Castiel have a lot in common. Charles is seen as this figure that is leading Ferrari currently and into the future and his first season in Ferrari was iconic (Lazarus Rising) Dare I say some of his drives have been as insane as pulling a man out of hell. However it's been a bumpy road and the burdens of one of the most iconic teams is enough to try the patience of any man (The Man Who Would Be King) There are a lot of faith and religious parallels to be made here. If there was one driver insane enough to try to single-handedly fix heaven (Ferrari) Charles is that driver. Also you could cast him as Cas and I don't think anyone would complain. I could go on about the Charles-Cas parallels but we do have to get to the rest of the grid, so he gets two stand-out Castiel episodes.

Carlos Sainz: Trial and Error x The Devil You Know

Carlos sometimes smashes through plans like a hammer, sometimes you need schemes other times you need to throw them out the window and start punching (The Devil You Know). He's also been through the Ferrari trials which is no small feat, often requiring a lot of pressure and sacrifice (Trial and Error). I also feel like he could wrestle a hellhound and come out winning.

Lewis Hamilton: Swan Song x First Born

I felt that one of the most iconic final battles in Supernatural of Swan Song was fitting to encapsulate Lewis' many hard fought WDCs. In addition to First Born, where Dean goes to take the mantle of the mark of Cain from a man who keeps bees in his retirement (Lewis taking WDC from Seb parallels) Both massive turning points in the show and iconic, like Lewis. A lot of small plot and emotional beats in these two that really touch on some career moments.

George Russell: Defending Your Life x Girls Girls Girls

If there was any driver on the grid who would enter into a legal battle against an ancient god and win it's George Russell (Defending Your Life). Additionally George is one of the few who could pull off witchcraft with ease while looking iconic doing so (Girls, Girls, Girls) I just think George and Rowena would get along and get up to some trouble with the book of the damned.

Max Verstappen: The Executioner’s Song x In The Beginning

The parallels of young talent coming in to take down the former bearer of the mark of Cain to Max's 2021 WDC are strong. It was hard, it was messy, and it was one hell of a fight (The Executioner’s Song). Then we have more emotional nuance (In The Beginning) a guy who just likes cars and is kind of old school about them too. These episodes are nuanced and plot centric and that felt fitting. The vibes are here you have to trust me on this.

Sergio Perez: Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven x Criss Angel is a Douchebag

Do not underestimate Checo, much like you should not underestimate an arch angel that is related to you, and yet. The parallels between Adam, the third Winchester brother, and Checo are not lost, especially in meta context (Our Father, Who Aren’t in Heaven). Then of course Checo does have a flair and charm about him, he can pull a trick or two out of a car when people least expect (Criss Angel is a Douchebag).

Fernando Alonso: Good God Y’all x Weekend at Bobby’s

Fernando is chaos, he's here to cause unapologetic trouble, if he were to be a horseman of the apocalypse he'd be War and he'd have a hell of a time (Good God Y'all). Of course if there was one driver on the grid I know could figure out how to get his soul back from a demon after selling his soul in the first place Fernando would be that driver (Weekend at Bobby's) Naturally there are many Nando and Bobby parallels.

Lance Stroll: Scoobynatural x Hibbing 911

Of all the drivers on the grid at risk of getting sucked into a children’s cartoon I feel like Lance is at the top of the list (Scoobynatural). In addition I think he would be the chill hunter just casually explaining that ghosts are real to Scooby and the gang. Lance would also reluctantly become a vampire hunter if they invaded his small community (Hibbing 911) And he very much reminds me of both Donna and Jody in various ways.

Oscar Piastri: About a Boy x Jack in the Box

I feel like Oscar would be a good witch hunter, I also think if he was hit with a de-aging spell he'd be able to handle it and not panic and figure out how to get out of that situation, worry about the soul crushing curse later (About a Boy). And of course with the way his second season in F1 has been going it very much feels like Mclaren have been holding back a young driver from reaching his potential because they are afraid of his capabilities, you could say they have been putting a nephilim in a box designed to hold back his power (Jack in the Box). Also I cannot be the only one who sees the Jack and Oscar resemblance.

Lando Norris: Swap Meet x I Know What You Did Last Summer

Tell me Lando would not somehow end up practicing black magic accidentally on purpose and somehow survive (Swap Meet). That and I think he would also really like this episode in general. I feel like the duality between Ruby and Anna presented in I know What You Did Last Summer captures a very specific vibe about Lando, is he the demon trying to trick a guy into drinking his blood? Or is he the angel that decided to become human because he was done with heaven's shit? Depends on the day honestly.

Kevin Magnussen: Rock Never Dies x Survival of the Fittest

If there was any driver on the grid that would make crashing the Impala part of the plan to take down eldritch monsters it would be Kmag (Survival of the Fittest). Rock Never Dies just fits Kevin, iconic, villainous, Lucifer comes back a second time and is ready to cause chaos. The whole vibe of this episode is insane and it fits Kevin's particular brand of heart and unique driving. He's loud, you are not going to forget he's there, you should be afraid.

Nico Hulkenberg: Shut Up Dr Phil x My Heart Will Go On

Nico just has the look of a man who would time travel to get rid of a single Celine Dion song (My Heart Will Go On). He does have a lot in common with Balthazar, fun loving but powerful and can execute a plan, he might just end up adding his own flair to it. And I think Nico's spats with others are not frequent, but when they do happen they are memorable (Shut Up Dr Phil) Plus he reminds me of these old witches who have been married a few centuries and keep the chaos alive.

Ollie Bearman: The Girl with the Dungeon and Dragons Tattoo x Reading is Fundamental

Including Ollie in the Haas section since he's raced for them the most this year on the F1 grid. But his story starts as the young talent called at the last minute to solve a huge problem, driving a Ferrari in Jeddah with an hour of practice. I'd say that's similar to being suddenly asked to single-handedly go against some of the most dangerous monsters in the world with no training in monster fighting (The Girl with the Dungeon and Dragons Tattoo) but also being surprisingly good at it. Then we have another team needing young talent to step up and drive their car when things were down, you could say Ollie is in advanced placement in terms of being an F1 rookie now (Reading is Fundamental) I think the Ollie Kevin Tran comparisons are strong. Overall these two episodes of young talent needed at the last minute to save the day really sum up Ollie's 2024 F1 experience.

Yuki Tsunoda: The Gamblers x A Little Slice of Kevin

Sometimes luck is on Yuki's side, and often times it feels like it's not. But then again he's been fighting and sticking around longer than most other drivers in the face of more bad luck than one man should deal with, so perhaps he's won against an old roman god for a bit of luck, who's to say (The Gamblers). Then we get to the duality in A Little Slice of Kevin, young talent being used as a pawn in the larger scheme of Red Bull, more likely than you'd think. Is he escaping purgatory or being captured by demons? Probably both.

Daniel Ricciardo: Frontierland x Blood Brother

I know one thing about Danny, he would time travel back to the wild west to hunt down a rare monster no questions asked. He would bring his own cowboy hat as well (Frontierland). Danny also has that quality of guy who doesn't ask for much, so when he asks for a favor you gotta help. He also does have similar vibes to Benny, don't tell me he wouldn't make a great southern vampire (Blood Brother).

Liam Lawson: War of the Worlds x Bad Day at Black Rock

Similar to Yuki, Liam's luck is a tricky thing. He was in a will he won't he situation at Red Bull for so long. If he had a rabbit's foot he kept losing and picking up again I wouldn't be surprised (Bad Day at Black Rock). I think the episode really captures that kind of swinging pendulum of luck his junior career has seen. Then of course now he's been called to the seat he's caught up in a pretty intense battle at the end of the season, with a lot of demands being made on top of the constant turmoil within the team. Imagine Lucifer is telling you not to do a spell another powerful arch angel is commanding you to do, I feel like that about sums up how he's been thrown into F1 (War of the Worlds).

Alex Albon: Heart x It’s A Terrible Life

Alex was a rookie that went under the radar, at first, but something bigger was brewing in the background and then boom he was suddenly at the center of the driver market and was thrown into the spotlight. A feeling reflected in It's A Terrible Life. Alex is also the type of try to help someone against all odds, even when they seem impossible (Heart). Also I am not denying I am possibly calling him a werewolf fucker, here but tell me I'm wrong.

Logan Sargeant: Jump the Shark x Dog Dean Afternoon

Logan would do well being able to communicate with a dog and would adapt well to taking on dog-like traits to solve a case (Dog Dean Afternoon) I don't even think he'd question it. Forgotten, overlooked, massively unlucky I don't think there is a better Supernatural parallel for Logan than season 4 Adam (Jump the Shark). He was a great guy who got caught in the middle of something dangerous and paid the price.

Franco Colapinto: Red Sky at Morning x Sharp Teeth

Franco is one of the guys who I just think would be able to make it work for him if he were accidentally turned into a werewolf. He'd take a few months off, come back and be totally fine (Sharp Teeth). I cannot fully explain but Franco does give me Bella vibes, the mix of mischief and amusing self confidence perhaps, or maybe he just has the look of an international occult thief? (Red Sky at Morning) He'd be able to steal rare artifacts using his looks and charm I know that.

Valtteri Bottas: Party On Garth x Everybody Loves a Clown

Valtteri strikes me as the most like Garth. Fun, a little silly, but good at his job and scary when he needs to be (Party On Garth). His methods may seem a little out there but he gets the job done. How could I not include the introduction of the best mullet on Supernatural? I know Valtteri would love Ash and call him #mulletgoals (Everybody Loves a Clown). Another character who seems a little unserious out of the profession but Ash is brilliant and knows how to lock in.

Zhou Guanyu: Hunteri Heroici x Wayward Sisters

Zhou would 100% interrogate that cat and get information. He's probably an expert (Hunteri Heroici). I think his level headed mindset would also really help in a case where the world is literally going Loony toons. Zhou also has been through it, but is strong, and iconic in his unique way (Wayward Sisters). He's been fighting an uphill battle in that Sauber car, new hunter learning on the job has a similar experience, add a little dimension hopping in there for flavor.

Esteban Ocon: Beyond the Mat x Hollywood Babylon

Esteban is a sweetheart but do not be fooled, he absolutely would take down his childhood hero if he needed to (Beyond the Mat). I also think that he'd absolutely be one of those hunters looking for all the old Hollywood ghosts, he'd be an expert about which myths were real or fake and have that locked down over there (Hollywood Babylon).

Pierre Gasly: Monster Movie x Simon Said

I am not saying Pierre is a shapeshifter, but I am saying that if he was he'd be doing the over the top camp and theatrics seen in Monster Movie. Also he like Dean has a way of finding out how to have fun even when things are extremely stressful. If he did have mind control powers he'd use them for good or not use them at all, but that doesn't mean he doesn't know how to use them or that he's not strong (Simon Said).

That's the end! Thank you for reading. This was just something silly I have been working on. It's mostly vibes based but I had a lot of fun putting it together.

*Carry on Wayward Son + F1 theme mashup starts playing*

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msafterhours · 10 hours ago

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A Single Trip Around the Sun

It's wild to think about, but today marks a year's time since I released "Drive" and dove back into writing. Funnily enough, it's also been just over 5 years since I stopped updating my first ever story, which began in March of 2019 and ended in late October of the same year.

I wrote & published over 75,000 words between October 2023 & March 2024 to varying degrees of quality and personal satisfaction. Two of those stories still remain public, while the third has been made private due to my own personal dissatisfaction with the finished product.

Over the past 7 months or so, things have been less than ideal, and while I wish that there could be more finished products to share with you all, I'd be lying if I said I've been in the right mindset to produce work that's up to my personal standards. However, that isn't to say that there hasn't been incredible work produced during that time. More on that in a second.

I personally don't view myself as a particularly creative person. Writing is very difficult for me to find success in (especially compared to other interests), but I enjoy the process of learning and growth. Thus, a significant amount of my time over the past half decade or so has been spent researching techniques, learning how to improve the quality of my work, and compiling those lessons into notes for my own future reference.

So, I'd like to take this opportunity to share that knowledge with anyone that might find it helpful. Contained within are archives of my external writing related research, saved passages from my favorite works produced by the community, and a bit of a peek behind the curtain into my older works & the planning that goes into a standard project of mine.

If nothing else, I hope you choose to look through the community quote archives and join me in celebrating the incredible content featured within. These are only small fragments of the wonderful work put together by @capslocked , @kooyabooya , @majorblinks , @iznsfw , @jeneveuxrein , @yieldtotemptation , and so many others who have blessed us with their awe-inspiring talent. There's plenty of other content that I haven't gotten around to including quite yet, but I have every intention of keeping this updated moving forward, so keep an eye out for even more magnificent inclusions in the near future.

I hope anyone who decides to check it out enjoys their time doing so and finds a bit of inspiration or helpful information within. Thank you so much to the over one thousand people who have chosen to follow this blog and thank you very much to everyone who's chosen to spend your time reading my work!

Sincerely,

Mirror's Secrets / Tyler ❤️

#kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #writing

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dreamwreaver · 1 day ago

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I completely agree, Vaggie and Charlie are really each other's antithesis and it's executed BADLY. The show doesn't do anything meaningful with their differences, if anything, it makes it starker. Their communication is terrible, they are not at all in sync with each other's needs and the only time they ever got actual development was when they separated to seek help for the battle with the exorcist, in which, they had more chemistry with their respective mentors than they ever had with each other (I honestly ship Vaggie and Carmilla a little after their spar, like come on, one time Carmilla lets her hair down, an act of vulnerability in some cultures, was with Vaggie and Vaggie also got her wings back after that fight too. Not to mention, they had a whole ass song together despite not meeting yet before the Chaggie song and has plus points for being original unlike Chaggie's song so Vamilla/Battleangel is a decent ship for me.)

Vaggie may say that she'll do anything for Charlie but she sure as hell won't let Charlie sing and have a deal with the same guy she had a deal back in episode 1. She also seems to forgot that her girlfriend is a grown-ass woman who can thrive on without her while she can't because she thinks she's worth nothing without Charlie. It's sad, really.

I'm honestly curious on what you'd discuss further on how Vaggie would have never let Charlie in but Charlie didn't think to knock, can you please share?

Ngl, while it's not an s-tier ship for me because I do adore zestmilla, battle angel is indeed an underrated pairing and tbh? At the very least Vaggie deserved to have an obsessive lesbian crush on Carmilla. I know it was allegedly planned for her to have an obsession with weapons and it got cut for time or other reasons. Whatever, more stripping of Vaggie's character and turning her into a bland nonentity so she doesn't compete for attention with literally everyone else.

As for your question; I would like to refer back to Charlie's rant at Alastor during their cannibal town date. No I will not be taking arguments on that, that's precisely what it was.

"Three years, three YEARS I've been sharing my life with her and I tell her EVERYTHING! My hopes, my dreams, my insecurities, my embarrassing habits, what fucking DEODORANT I like! And she keeps something, like THIS from ME! Why would she lie for so long? Did she think I wouldn't accept her? What about me, ME, says un-understanding?"

And if you watch her body language during this whole rant it's less emotional hurt and more... ego hurt? Like, this whole upset has gone from "the person I love and trust more than anything has been lying to me about who they are," to, "I share everything about myself with her and should have been entitled to this information."

And yeah, I get it, she was made to look incredibly stupid in front of a heavenly council right before being blasted back to Hell with an entire exorcist army aimed right at her front door. Anyone might be justifiably upset that such important info was kept from them. But as Carmilla literally says not ten minutes later, "You have a giant X over your eye and wield an angelic spear, it's not rocket science."

So Carmilla was able to take literally ONE look at Vaggie and clock her origins? Going further, depending on how you interpret Lucifer's gaze in Dad Beat Dad upon meeting Vaggie it's entirely possible HE clocked her as angelic too. And yet, the person who spends the most time around her somehow couldn't connect those dots? Charlie's optimistic but she's not dumb. She's got a naive understanding of sinners and how best to incite change but to miss something like THAT? I don't buy that Vaggie would have been able to keep that secret so easily if Charlie had been paying as much attention to her partner as any good and healthy relationship should.

But let's backtrack a bit. The notion that Vaggie's off emotionally is established all the way back in episode 3. Remember when Charlie's trying to get the others psyched about trust exercises and Vaggie shows a considerable lack of enthusiasm? What was the first thing out of Charlie's mouth after that? Is it, "hey you seem like you've got something on your mind; are you okay?"

Nope! It's a very embarrassed/annoyed, "Vaggie, we rehearsed this!"

After which she proceeds to blindside Vaggie with the news that she's the one who's going to be leading the trust unit that day. Wow, for all they rehearsed this pitch Vaggie sure seems left out of the loop on it doesn't she? When Vaggie tries to explain without explaining that she's neither qualified nor comfortable about this decision does Charlie say, "well okay then, but if you change your mind just let me know,"? Wrong again! She just says, "It's easy I'm sure you can handle this."

And again, Vaggie is both unprepared and uncomfortable and also unable to say no to Charlie so she defaults into her military training and starts speaking to them like a commanding officer would to their troops. And I don't blame her for that, we tend to fall back on emulating behavior we've seen when we don't know how to cope with something. When trust falls don't work, Charlie tries to retake control but Vaggie puts on a brave face and says she has it when she clearly doesn't. As chaotic shenanigans ensue Vaggie grows more and more desperate but somehow it isn't until she's literally chucking people off a roof that Charlie figures this has gone too far. Not to mention she's incredibly surprised that COMBAT is how Vaggie learned to trust people. Forgive me if I'm wrong but you've been her partner for three years by later admission and you DIDNT know she came from a military background?

Not to mention Vaggie spells it all out in black and white, "I took charge today and it all went sideways. I'm supposed to make your dreams a reality. I'm supposed to protect you. I'm supposed to never fail you" followed by, "If I can't help you, what's the point of me?"

Vaggie has serious issues with self worth, demonstrated here. And while I get Charlie is trying to respect boundaries to a certain point I cannot imagine that were I in her shoes I would leave my partner thinking that if they couldn't be useful they shouldn't be with me. And while to her credit Charlie does apologize, it feels a little pointless when the very next episode she's back to just ignoring what Vaggie says. Even then, that apology doesn't do much to address the real root of the issue. They work as a team? When and where is that EVER demonstrated? It's not a reassurance that Vaggie doesn't NEED to have some demonstrable use for Charlie to want to be with her. And even if it was Vaggie has already struck at the heart of their problem; she wants to be Charlie's armor AND her partner, but those positions cannot work in tandem. Because wanting to be someone's armor assumes they need protecting, and again I state, Charlie is a grown ass woman and one of the most powerful beings in all of hell. She was smart enough to avoid making a deal with Alastor in the pilot, why does Vaggie assume that Charlie NEEDS protecting? And a partner infers a level of equality that just isn't demonstrated in what we see of their relationship. There is no give and take with them supporting each other equally. It's vaggie either trying to draw blood from a stone to meet Charlie's unrealistic expectations, or Vaggie telling Charlie to alter core elements of her personality to appease her own subjects. And on the flip side; where does Charlie support Vaggie in anything resembling the way Vaggie supports Charlie?

Charlie pushed for Vaggie to come to Heaven with her because that was what SHE wanted. Even when Vaggie expressed her reluctance to go Charlie pushed and Vaggie folded even as she knew what ended up happening was a very real possibility. Why?

For all his bloodthirsty nature Alastor knows the political game way better than Vaggie does. Vaggie couldn't keep her shit together when Emily was just holding Charlie's hands and being friendly. That's not the type of partner a political figure should have, and whether she likes it or not as princess of hell Charlie's interwoven with the politics of hell. Being power hungry means Alastor has the genuine best advice for Charlie when it comes to handling bigwigs like the angels. And he's someone with an actual business interest in the hotel. Imagine someone asking him why he helps when he doesn't believe in redemption; and he tells them it's because he believes in Charlie. You don't hand someone the source of most of your power so easily if you do not have a sincere and earnest level of trust in them. And yet Al does it willingly, more than once.

I want to say that I don't hate Charlie or Vaggie. I just don't think they work well as a pairing because Vaggie gives too much and Charlie's more concerned with her people than her partner. And the lack of communication between the two of them is a real issue. Again, Vaggie might never have let Charlie in, but Charlie never thought to knock. She never thought to ask about Vaggie in any way that would suggest the sort of deep emotional love that the show so desperately wants us to believe they have.

And on some level, I think a good portion of the fandom feels it too. Seriously, run the numbers some time on just AO3; filter for the Chaggie tag, and then take out every other ship that those stories are actually about. The chaggie tag is filled with stories that are about someone else's relationship because beneath the surface there's nothing there.

#charlastor #radiobelle #hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #alastor #dream replies #character analysis #not tagging the ship because I don't feel like getting harassed today #but seriously

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mint-ty · 2 days ago

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because my best talent is squinting at anything and seeing Bojere, here are my thoughts on Stephanie :D (I didn't need to squint very hard here tbh) Using professor's @bisnes-socks methods I'll try to demonstrate how it's an attempted rebound song 👀 (*also just a disclamer that rpf is for shits and giggles only)

She lives about a thousand miles away from me

It took about a second, a smile, a thousand freckles

To set me free

Thousand miles being exact distance from Helsinki I won't even mention bcs everyone picked up on that :D (that was smooth Bojči, no one could guess). Also do y'all remember about soulmates au and the subtle freckles all over Jere's body? I'm sure you do ;-;

Oh how cliché

A stranger’s city, random party, rainy Saturday

I was downing drinks to drown the sorrow

Just to run away

This part I believe was about London. Notice how Bojan is already getting sloshed and drowning the sorrow. 'The sorrow' being singular. What's the sorrow you may ask that he needs to drown? Well, Jere after all not being able to come to London as they had planned 😔

And then a lightning strike just fills the place

A reflection of a familiar face

I only saw before with my eyes closed

I guess I knew right from the start

It was either a stroke or a racing heart

That I just met my missing part

Bojan is already sloshed here. He decides that fuck that guy (he doesn't mean it), it's only in Bojan's nature to fall in love on first sight, it's nothing special or unique at all. So he looks around the bar to spot a familiar face. Of course that face is not here and so anyone else would work just as well. He clings on this random girl immediately like "love of my life, my missing part". Lovebombing much, hm? Was her friend really throwing up or were you just a bit too desperate and a bit too intense Bojči? 🤨

The song strikes me as he had already gave up on this girl before it even started. He got a plane picture and immediately went "oh woe me 😔" despite knowing very well that distance is not an issue for a relationship (hard work, but def not impossible). It's because he never expected anything real to come out of it in the first place.

Love ain’t real for people like me

And love ain’t real for people like me

Happiness ain’t real for people like me

Stephanie

This part stuck me, and many of us, as being uncharasteristically heavy for the song up to now (including the melody too). Like this heaviness has been eating him up for a long time, not just tonight. Because this part is not about the girl he met at the pub and who all he can remember is that her friend was throwing up. This part is why he was already drinking in that bar before she even showed up.

So yeah it's a song at how Bojan was missing Jere so bad and was feeling so heartbroken that he flimsily attempted to repeat what they had with another person. And at the slightest inconvenience he threw his hands up like "can nothing ever work out for me?! 🙄"

Fast forward to Bojere vacation and Jere is asking Bojan "so what next song you release? :D", and Bojan hits him with "I don't want to talk about music 😑". Because his next song is about him trying to move away from Jere. Yet here he is.

Of course they do talk about it in the end, like they talk about everything. So Jere knows. And he takes a very neat opportunity yesterday to remind Bojan that he is "his". Jere is a genius at playing with words, so while he could joke about "his" being the cut-out lutka Bojan, they both know that Jere is claiming the real Bojan, on the evening of Bojan's attempted rebound song 😌

No wonder Jere doesn't look too cheerful lol

And heiii!!! also the album! :D totally what Jere was thinking about. Absolutely his first thought yes yes 🤭

#the song is a bop ig but I need to digest it for a bit longer #bojere

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creweemmaeec11 · 3 days ago

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Dark Horse Painted White Part 3

Pt 1 Pt 2

Hero couldn't help the feeling of guilt clawing at their throat. They were at such a loss! They'd tried so hard to be nice to civilian this morning, but it was as if the nicer they were, the more Civilian seemed to hate them! They didn't understand what they'd done so wrong!

Despite their loss of appetite, hero ate their omelette to avoid being rude, before doing the dishes like they'd promised. They wiped down the table, and even spotted a broom behind the fridge they used to sweep.

When their civilian host still wasn't back yet. Hero awkwardly lay back down on the couch, not daring to touch anything else they might get in trouble for. It was very rare they ever got the opportunity to sleep in like this, nevermind have free time. What should they do? It's not like they had time for any hobbies. What did normal people do with time off?

Hero continued staring at the ceiling. They'd checked their phone a half dozen times. No new assignments or instructions from their boss. They hadn't even gotten any paperwork passed off to them yet. They received nothing but radio silence, all their time meant to be dedicated to protecting the Civilian.

Finally, after what felt like hours of staring at the wall, hero heard the door at the end of the hall open and the clacking of claws approach. Immediately, they sat up to attention.

Civilian rounded the corner, holding a notebook and a pen but their eyes stayed trained on their phone as they typed with their other hand.

"Here," they said, tossing the two items onto the coffee table, "make a list of stuff you want picked up at the grocery store,"

"Wait, what?"

"Food, hero," civilian deadpanned, "unless you plan on eating all of mine while your here?"

"N-no, of course not! But-"

"Then get to writing," they quipped, before turning and heading to the kitchen.

Despite their confusion, hero did as they were told, writing down a list of things they could think of that didn't take much preparation.

Civilian came back a few minutes later, looking at the hero expectantly.

They stood up off the couch, handing the notepad back to their host, "Please let me pay, for all of my stuff at least-"

"Do you have cash?" Civilian asked as they started typing on their phone yet again.

"Only $20, but I can send you the rest-"

"The twenty is fine," they replied. They weren't giving the hero any sort of link to their accounts. Civilian's eyes finally left their phone screen to begin reading the list. Something in their face seemed to shift as they read the items.

"Is something wrong?" Hero asked nervously.

"We just have a much simmilar palette then I would have expected," they replied, tone a mix of begrudging and in awe.

Hero wanted to ask why, but they bit their tongue, "are we going to go pick this stuff up?"

"No, I'm having a... uhm, *friend* pick it up for me," Civilian replied, snapping a photo of the notepad before dropping it back down on the table.

"So, what are we going to do today then?" Hero questioned.

"Nothing," the other replied, tucking their phone back into their pocket.

"Nothing? What do you mean nothing?"

"As in we aren't doing anything..." Civilian explained in confusion, "I canceled my plans,"

"But..." hero hesitated,"what should I do then?"

The civilian bit back the comment of telling the hero they should leave, if not for it being a waste of breath, then for how genuinely confused the hero sounded, "Uhm... I don't know? Whatever you want? You didn't bring anything with you to keep you occupied?"

Hero looked a bit perplexed, "uhm... no? Should I have?"

"Well... I would have thought so... never mind. It doesn't matter. I'm sure you can find something on TV at least,"

"Oh, yeah okay, sure,"

"Queen," Civilian whistled, "remote,"

Hero watched in wonder as the large white dog ran to grab the remote, bringing it over to the Civilian.

"Good girl," they praised, taking the item from the dogs mouth, "Tell me your favourite channels and I'll find their numbers for you,"

There was a beat of silence. The lack of answer caused the Civilian to glance over at the hero with a mix of confusion and annoyance.

"I... I don't know.... I'm not familiar with any of the different channels. I haven't watched anything other then the news in years,"

Civilian's face simply shifted into even more confusion, "uhm.. okay... well you can get youtube on this TV too. Do you watch anything on that?"

"Uhm, no... I don't think so," hero shifted awkwardly, "Maybe you could reccomend something?"

"Uh..." Civilian stuttered, suddenly strangely flattered hero would trust their judgment and taste to make a suggestion.

They cleared their throat. Nothing coming from a hero was any sort of compliment.

There was no way they were going to be sharing their actual preferences with hero!

"Yeah, sure I guess," Civilian shrugged. They'd share shows they thought were okay, but not their favorites. "But what do you even do in your spare time?" They asked as they navigated through the channels on the TV.

"Uh, well," they chuckled dryly, scratching the back of their head, "I don't exactly have a lot of spare time. Evil never rests as they say, and that usually means neither do I,"

Civilian internally rolled their eyes. What a drama queen. There was no way hero wasn't exaggerating. Because sure, this city did have it's fair share of criminals, but there was no way a major crime took place nearly every day. Three times a week, max.

"Plus, if the city holds any big public events, I always need to be there in case a villain decides to show up. That mixed with all the press conferences, fan meet and greets, training, street watch, you know... and any time I have leftover gets used up by finishing all the paperwork the other officers don't get done," the hero gave a forced laugh again, "in fact, I think this morning was the first time I've gotten to sleep-in in..." they blinked, "I can't even remember..."

The hero glanced up, realizing they'd been rambling and were about to apologize but the look on the Civilian's face made them stop.

Civilian was looking at them with an incredulous, shocked expression.

"Of course it's all worth it!" Hero sputtered.

"Sounds like you need to put your foot down" Civilian scoffed, turning back to the tv. So what if they'd been wrong about hero's daily life? Just because they didn't live like royalty? If anything, heros probably deserved to be working so hard, for all the problems they caused, it served them right not to have any free time! If they wanted to throw their life away for some meaningless agency, what did villain care?!

"Maybe you're right, but.... I'm a bit of a people pleaser" hero chuckled again.

Civilian side-eyed them, "you don't say," they scoffed, before carelessly tossing the remote next to the hero on the couch, "Give this channel a try for now. If you don't like it, just change the channel till you find something,"

"W-wait!" Hero sputtered, quickly jumping to their feet.

Civilian's feet regrettably stuttered to a stop. They turned their head, glancing over their shoulder at their unwanted guest.

"What?" They snapped, failing to hide the annoyance in their tone.

"Where are you going?"

"To my room?"

"But... I'm supposed to keep an eye on you? I can't really do that if you're in the other end of the house with the door closed..."

Civilian grumbled. That had been the entire point.

"Fine, I'll work in the kitchen," they amended, before heading to their room to gather a few things.

----------------

The house had been quiet for the next few hours, the only sound being the soft murmur of the wTV in the other room, when suddenly there was a knock at the door.

Hero immediately jumped to their feet.

"Please, let me get it!" Hero asked quickly, coming up behind the Civilian who was about to open the door, "just in case,"

Civilian rolled their eyes, scoffing under their breath, but they didn't argue, stepping aside to let the hero grab the handle.

The door opened to reveal no one, only multiple grocery bags on the front step. The hero poked their head out further, looking around, but they couldn't see anyone.

"Uh..."

The Civilian didn't say anything, instead pushing past them to begin bringing the bags inside. Quickly, the hero scurried to help.

"Was that your friend?"

"No, my groceries just teleported onto my doorstep," Civilian replied sarcastically as they began taking things out and putting them onto the counter.

The hero chuckled humorously, "No, I mean, where did they go? Why did they run off so quickly?"

"Maybe supervillain got them,"

"What?!"

Civilian gave them an incredulous and unimpressed look, "they were *busy* hero," they explained, rolling their eyes.

"Oh, right," Hero replied, clearing their throat awkwardly, "Well, it sure was nice of them to pick up everything for you,"

*that's what they get paid for* civilian thought to themselves.

Once everything was put away, they let out a sigh.

"I need to take Nova and Queen out for a walk. Be ready to go in half an hour," Civilian stated matter-of-factly before disappearing down the hall and into their room.

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strangefa11 · 6 hours ago

Note

This question may have a more obvious answer because I don't remember a lot of TMA.

How did Tim and Danny end up in Jon and Martin's care? What was their adjustment period like?

Furthermore, what was Jon and Martin's adjustment period like after ending up somewhere new? Do either of them have any of powers from their previous life?

Sorry if these are too much. I just really like your AU 😅

it’s not too much at all!! This did turn out super long though so there’re some details I had to skip… oops… but anyway I tried to go in chronological order. I hope this answers your questions tl;dr at the end :3

Okok so after MAG 200 Jon and Martin arrive somewhere else along with the fears. Their bodies come with them, so still have all their scars and marks (and also Jon is bleeding out lol). The somewhere else they end up in is similar to their original universe in some ways but also very different in others, for instance the Magnus Institute doesn’t exist. Because of the differences the fears also manifest differently than they used to, almost exclusively as (mostly) physical monsters rather than the more insidious metaphysical presence that they have in the podcast. Also no Leitners but I think that’s more because the fears only just arrived so they haven’t had time to appear yet (hint hint).

Jmart still have their connections to their entities as well as their abilities but those are also different, they focus more on the physical aspects of the entities as well. Jon isn’t omniscient anymore, he still Knows things occasionally but in general his abilities are a little more related to watching than archiving (the reason for that is an explanation all on its own so I’ll skip it for now in the interest of not making this TOO long). He also heals from being stabbed pretty immediately but I think that’s more of a one time thing than a consistent ability afterwards.

Martin’s abilities are mostly more specifically centred around fog and physical isolation than emotional distance. They're also a lot weaker than Jon’s (another explanation I’ll save for later lol)

They manage to get themselves together and get jobs and a home etc etc the specifics of all that don't really matter. They meet Tim a few years later while he's being chased by a monster (I think it's probably a Dark monster). They save him (Jon melts it or something).

Through talking to Tim they learn a few things 1) he’s definitely the somewhere else version of their Tim Stoker 2) he’s in foster care with his brother 3) he encountered the monster after sneaking out. After learning these things Jmart naturally do the responsible adult thing and help him sneak back into the house after making him promise not to sneak out again.

Obviously Tim wants to know more about the monster that tried to eat him so after some convincing they tell him he can visit them at the library Martin works at.

Tim starts visiting them semi-regularly, sometimes Danny comes along. Jmart tell him a little about the fears but not about their past at first. Eventually they learn from Tim that the foster home isn't great. It’s not outright abusive but the couple is very conservative christian and it’s just not a good fit. Tim doesn’t want to move, though, because he’s worried he and Danny will be separated.

They don't actually adopt Tim and Danny until after they’ve already gotten to know them fairly well, and they start with fostering them. So the adjustment period is a little more natural. I will say they definitely get to know and bond with Tim a lot faster than Danny. Danny definitely follows Tim’s lead though so he’s more inclined to trust them when he sees that his big brother likes them.

There’s a bunch more I could say about the specifics of the fear mechanics in the new world and the details of Tim and Danny’s history but this is already way longer than I planned so I’m gonna cut it here for now :’)

TL;DR: The fears are a little different in the new universe but Jmart do still have their fear abilities, they rescue Tim from a monster and eventually adopt him and Danny from their less than ideal foster home.

#stay somewhere else #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #tim stoker #danny stoker #the magnus archives #nonsense #strange answers

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everythingwasnormalhere · 2 days ago

Text

« Freedom You Said? »

I'm gonna try to avoid big spoilers, as I plan to write longfics about this au sooner than not :3

The main premise is that some people (very few) are born with powers in this au, and there's a big hero organization, named Freedom Pals, trying to get to them as soon as possible, so they can avoid the evil ones doing... evil stuff

There are two main hero teams, that I guess will be interacting at some point (I don't have the whole plot thought just yet), which would be m4 and catg, since Butters is Prof Chaos there'll be more on him specifically too

The leader of the first team would be Mysterion, with the power of immortality. He was born with it, and learnt it was useful to protect his family. FP found him and recruited him, he's one of the few heroes with not only all expenses covered but also a salary, and with permission to see his family. Unlike canonical Kenny (and most Kennys I write), FYS Kenny's immortality is rather a regeneration thing, Deadpool style. As all my Kennys, immortality-caused chronic pain, yet he forces himself to ignore it - the way his suit is pretty tight helps with that a bit, too.

Toolshed would be in Kenny's team. He was recruited after a very bad accident (or was it?), which would have killed him on the spot had FP not done anything. He was one of those already superpowered people, with a slight ability to control metal, nothing too big or useful. Yet, FP had him on their lists before the accident happened, so they rebuilt his body, enhanced his powers, turned him into a weapon. All of his prosthetics are in materials he can control, which is very useful in fights. Another of these is placed on his heart, which he has to consciciosly make beat (or connect to a device at night in order to sleep), as if he stops FP will control it remotely, which is extremely painful to him.

Kite arrived to Earth nobody is quite sure when. He can use his voice to speak most human languages, but he's not the best at learning them, nor can he pronounce many things the way it's done (aka heavy alien accent). As soon as he got to this planet, FP were there to take him with them. He has a FP-assigned family, therefore he can meet up with them relatively often. Oxygen is extremely toxic to him, so he uses an air mask to breathe Earth air.

Cartman is from FP himself. Liane works for them, principally cleaning and making rooms comfortable. She needed money and badly, so she offered to do a little extra job, letting them create her a hybrid child. Cartman was the first successful hybrid by FP, which, combined with the whole superhero mentality, gave him a huge ego. He's quite an ass to his teammates and even some random people, but deep deep down, he's a good guy. He wishes to go by Coon, but his teammates don't allow him to, he goes by Raccoon instead. He's the youngest current hero.

Now onto the others!!!

Craig was also born with superpowers, in a relatively normal family. He wasn't aware of them until he turned sixteen however, having to take part in some weird family prophecy. Soon, FP was onto him. He's very much against being a superhero, he'd rather keep his nice and boring life but he has no other choice. His powers include shooting red energy out of his eyes ("they're not lasers!") and hands, super strenght, and short-distance flying. He despises all of it.

Tweek's powers were between an accident and not. He got struck by lightning, yet was left with no physical mark, and that got attention from FP. After several experiments and drugs, they not only made him immune (CANDY IF YOU SEE THIS THANKS FOR GIVING ME THE WORD YOU SAVED MY LIFE) to electricity, but gave him all storm-related powers. He's, however, not the best at controlling them just yet, and this whole thing increased his already tendency to panic about every little thing. His skin is so cold it burns to the touch, too; between this and plain comfort, his superhero costume is simply an slightly oversized sweater.

Mosquito was the one who inspired FP to keep experimenting with hybrids, which would later on cause Cartman's whole existence. At twelve, he was bitten by - typical - an infected mosquito, which caused his powers to appear. He has mosquito wings that allow him to fly however he wishes (it took him a long time to get there), and he sucks blood with two fangs he has, which he needs to survive. Other physical changes too, but these were the main ones. The FP doctors know damn well he has h-EDS, but they're unsure on whether it was caused by the infection or it was a preexisting condition - they won't let him know about this, though: he thinks it is normal.

[I haven't finished developing Fastpass nor Tupperware just yet, but I will share their info as soon as I do]

People out of these teams now!!!

Scott would be four years older than Mosquito, and he used to be his team captain. They were very close, both as friends and as student - teacher. He has diabetes type 1, and also superstrenght, which FP hasn't found any relationship between - yet he believes they are connected. Deceased.

CallGirl was experimented and given powers by a secret organization, making her a soldier since she was a little kid. FP rescued her, and finding her technology control powers useful, they made her a spy, having her find anyone with powers and get them into FP. She was Stan's girlfriend, and also the one to find out about his powers. They broke up after the accident, though. Stan is still the only one who exclusively calls her Wendy, even knowing about her identity as CallGirl.

Timmy has a similar background as CallGirl, but instead of technology control he received telekinesis and telepathy. FP is unsure on whether he's disabled because of the experiments, or because he was born disabled, nor Timmy wishes to answer. He can technically communicate mentally, but he much prefers to use an AAC device - will only communicate by TP, and reclutantly so, if it's strictly necessary. Such as Wendy, he works as a spy-informant. [Might be changed in the future, as I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with playing into this whole character trope]

Chaos is a villain, therefore, not part of FP, nor he wishes to be. He has had electric powers since he was born, shooting lightning out of his hands. His parents, afraid of and for him, had him locked in a closed room for his whole childhood, until he ran away - killing them in the process - when he was fifteen. He began recruiting Chaos Minions at sixteen, by suggestion of General Disarray, and now he has a quite big army. His electricity used to burn his hands, so now he has low mobility and control in them. He developed a pair of gloves he uses to increase his control over his powers and decrease their negative effects on his body. He got his eye injury from Raccoon, he covers it with an eye patch so the low vision he has in that eye doesn't distract him.

General Disarray joined Chaos soon after he became a villain. He lacks powers, yet he's extremely intelligent in all areas, principally technology. He built the virtual walls around the few Chaos things online, which not even CallGirl can tresspass. He helps Chaos make plans more often than not.

I think that's it lol :3 ask me any questions you have ✨✨

(was asked for this by @l-lawliets-pussy @northernparkservices @fleatomatosauce)

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