#I don't make music because I haven't found that inspiration

[dogstomp]

Dogstomp #3257 - January 1st

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[ivesambrose]

ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ᴘᴀꜱꜱɪᴏɴꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʜɪᴅᴅᴇɴ ᴛᴀʟᴇɴᴛꜱ

1. 2. 3.

╚══ ≪ °❈° ≫ ══╝°❈°╚══ ≪ °❈° ≫ ══╝

If you feel lost, aimless, overwhelmed or unsure in regards to yourself this has found it's way to you at the right time.

Personal Readings

Masterpost

Thank you for the tip! 🌹

Picture 1

A lot of you are burnt by your own ambitions and a need to prove something. You quietly wonder if you're even passionate about anything anymore or you are but do not what to do, where to start so you end up spacing out and procrastinating. Likely you were made to believe that if what gets you excited and happy doesn't automatically put you on the map and bring you money in traditional ways then it's practically useless.

You have in a way put yourself down consistently due to these external projections.

Of what I'm picking up on some of you are passionate about the following :

- Dancing

- Fitness

- Makeup

- Music

- The occult

- crafting something intricate such as designing jewellery or curating them

- A select few might be into taxidermy, herbology and even archeology

- A combination of the above, some of you have your own allure and might want to get into modelling, styling, dancing and design. You want to express yourself freely including your sensual as well as spiritual and esoteric side.

You want to be known but you want to stand out, with your accumulated power you want to guide others too, make them feel less alone and more understood and yet you want to be an enigma and mystery. You do have a strong potential to be a muse to many.

Your hidden talents:

- Something that is coming through significantly that it is something from your past/childhood/early teens that you had to sacrifice/were made to sacrifice even if you cared for it deeply and wanted to nurture it. It makes you bitter to this day because you were naturally good at it.

- Some of you should definitely consider working for animals especially birds. You have a gift to heal and develop empathy with them.

- Some of you can end up being excellent bakers and decorators.

A lot you can find success in the entertainment industry, media, running your own business and being your own boss, you have excellent leadership skills and determination it's just that you haven't gotten the chance to explore that side of yourself yet.

The advice here is to only look back at the past to pick up what you had left and walk ahead. Become your friend and ask your own subconscious to show the way, trust me you will be shown when you least expect it.

Picture 2

You simply love to learn and acquire knowledge. You could have specific subject(s) you're drawn to or you don't even like limiting yourself to that. You'd rather be an eternal student. I wouldn't be surprised if you were drawn to picture 1 or 3 as well. You have a thrist that sometimes almost feels insatiable.

You are rather intellectual and often give very sound advice. Mainly cuz you are highly self aware and very intuitive.

Regardless of anything else, you seek inspiration and adventure above all. You do tend to get bored with just one thing easily.

Of what I'm picking up on, some of you are passionate about the following:

- Learning, experimenting, teaching and innovating. Again this could be any topic or multiple. Could be something as literature and academics or physics or could even be cooking or carving wood. You could even be here educating people about Gothic architecture or the human anatomy. Or all of this. You're not meant to confine yourself.

- A lot of you seek travel and adventure. Even be passionate about extreme sports.

- Languages and culture.

- Some of you want to try and do everything, experience different things and don't want to niche yourself down. Your passion can simply be experiencing your life to the fullest so you have wisdom to give and stories to narrate and memories to look back on and trust me, that is more than enough.

Which quickly brings me to your hidden talents because you're supressing quite a few:

- Some of you can be excellent astrologers or even astronomers.

- A lot of you can read into symbolisms real. You can be a gifted psychic too if you aren't aware already.

- You can be really good at sports like archery, fencing, MMA etc

- Creative direction, photography is also coming through.

- You're very good with your words, whether it be in writing or speaking.

You are rather mutable and a very poised individual too, you can easily influence the people you come in touch with. Some of you can be good speakers, representatives or the face of a brand. Whatever you do, you end up being very good at it whether you like it or not.

The advice is to simply continue what you're doing, you're not as lost as you think you are. Keep making connections and continue being yourself instead of trying to make yourself small and fit in or follow trends or the algorithm.

Picture 3

You feel like a misfit and an outsider so much so that being passionate about anything worries you because you may end up looking a fool, not being good enough or not being disciplined enough.

You carry a lot of anguish in you mainly because you had to focus on things that were expected of you or because you had to survive so you might feel like you're good at many things but not great or could be great at something but you don't necessarily love it.

You're an interesting group here because you haven't even allowed yourself to feel excited about things.

What are you truly passionate about? I see nature, authenticism, a slower, softer life. The word passion itself feels too intense and deliberate for you.

You simply want to experience a life that doesn't feel like you running on a treadmill till your knees give out.

I do see there's an innate desire in you to help others, be it people or animals or even a dying plant. You want to find your peace and bring some of that peace in others lives too. Your energy feels like a walking into a warm cabin in the woods during winter with freshly made dinner waiting.

Hidden talents you have ample, a lot of them are based on learning and perfecting with practice :

- Cooking, experimenting with different herbs. I do see some of you have the potential to start a small business that involves food.

- Gardening and farming

- Painting

- Tattooing (this is coming through because it can be very therapeutic for a lot of you)

- Perfume making is also coming through as well as skincare.

- pottery and sculpting, crocheting etc

- reiki, medicine, physical therapy etc

- divination

Think of a life that's a bit more laid back a career that makes you feel less on the edge.

You've already been running on the validation of people who think you're dispensable or your worth is tied to something outside of you that you can't even find meaning in.

The world needs more souls like you.

The only advice is to be more compassionate with yourself, you're not running a race even if people have constantly been reminding you of it, there's no finish line. The only truth that matters is the story you tell yourself, over and over again. It will come to pass. Continue being. Continue creating instead of wondering about the how. You've figured out many things in your life, let life sort this out for you.

[jointherebellion215]

If It's True

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x female!reader

Summary: When an unexpected guest crashes your House's welcome feast for the Harkonnens, your life unknowingly becomes the start of a sad, sad song.

Word Count: 872

TW: Manipulation, Dark!Feyd-Rautha (so Regular Feyd-Rautha), she/her pronouns, AFAB reader, songfic

A/N: Hi, it's your friendly neighborhood shitposter. I'm taking a huge leap of faith with this fic, because I truly haven't written anything in YEARS. This idea has been bouncing around in my head for days, thus "the trilogy was born". This is meant to be Part One of a three part series, based on different songs from the musical Hadestown. I've obviously written this with very very dark interpretations of the songs and the themes. If enough people like it, I'll post parts two and three. Please let me know if it's any good, I'd love some feedback :)

AO3

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Dune properties, characters, or storylines-- nor do I own anything related to Hadestown. The images used in this are not my own, and any similarities to stories other than what I derive inspiration from are strictly coincidence.

What’s the use of his backbone

If he never stands upright?

“We welcome you to Kolhar, my lords Baron and na-Baron. Our House humbly offers our services and facilities to your use. I toast to our continued cooperation and to the strength of our Houses.”

As your father raised his cup, others of our House followed suit. The official welcome feast was well underway, though House Harkonnen had been planetside for at least a week already. The past few days had been for inspecting our mines and factories, ensuring that our production of their ships and swords were up to standard. 

Now? Pure pageantry. You found it a bit redundant, but it was necessary to ensure your good standing among the Houses of the Imperium. It was a grand occasion, in which the leaders of your father’s council were present, as well as the highest ranked mine workers. 

The doors to the large hall slam open, a familiar figure storming in. Your heart flutters at the sight of your beloved parting the crowds before him. The man who you had met by complete coincidence, one of the workers in a local steel mine, who you had spent the better part of a year meeting in secret—had crashed the court. You noticed a bruise growing on his cheek and blood trickling down his temple, indicating that his journey to enter through the doors was easier said than done. His voice soon bellowed throughout the hall. 

“My Lord Duke, I refuse to let your daughter’s hand be taken by the na-Baron. She cannot marry him.” 

The crowd gasps, as do you. You had spent the past week showing the na-Baron Feyd-Rautha around the grounds, the training of your most fierce warriors, and the best of your planet’s culture. You had shared a laugh or two and shown your prowess as a leader. Yes, you’d spent quite a bit of time with him, but marriage? This was news to you. 

You turn to your father, who gives you an apologetic grimace. Several Harkonnen guards step forward to seize the love of your life. You quickly stand to protest, but the na-Baron stops the guards in their track with a single snap of his fingers. He offers a hand to calm the crowd, an eerie stillness in his form.

“It is true, I have offered my hand to the Lady.”

I believe that with each other, 

we are stronger than we know.

“There must be a way around this. Even if this is in defiance of the court, they can’t punish all of us! We work their mines; they couldn’t truly function without us. We are the ones who truly hold the power! I implore you to stand with me, show them our strength!”

Your love stands strong, chin raised in the crowd, voice pleading with his brothers and sisters to stand beside him. He was convinced that this moment could provide a great revelation, that somehow your situation was different. That the consensus of a crowd could make the na-Baron stand down. Surely, your story could convince even the coldest of hearts that love can conquer all. He must have some sentimentality that resonates within him.

That's one of the main reasons why you fell in love with him. He's always so full of hope. Always willing to see the world as it could be, in spite of the way that it actually is.

But you knew better.

“This is treason.” Someone whispers in the room. Murmurs of assent soon follow, and your heart drops. The crowd around him quickly dissipates, as if the mere act of touching him promises death. 

And the ones who deal the cards

Are the ones who take the tricks

With their hands over their hearts

While we play the game they fix

You start to plead with your father to spare your lover. He doesn’t know any better, he wasn’t raised in the ways of politics or court. It’s purely out of his love and devotion to you, so please—

Feyd-Rautha stands up and the room is immediately devoid of sound. He cranes his neck to look at you.

“You love him?”

You swallow harshly, lifting your chin. “I do.” You went to your lover, making a bold statement in linking your fingers together. Presenting a united front. Hoping that somehow, your kind attitude the past week towards the na-Baron would allow this leniency.

A gleam flashes through his eyes, almost imperceptible. He gives a blackened smile, making show of placing his hand over his heart. Confusion fills you. He slithers down the steps towards the pair of you, boots echoing in the Feasting Hall, each step making your lover’s hand give a slight tremor. Your mind stands strong in its conviction, in the thought that you’ll have to fight for what you want. But a small tendril in the back of your mind gives the slightest hesitation. The smallest indication of hope. Maybe…

Piter leans towards his Baron, whispering concerns in his ears, but is quickly paused by the Baron’s hand. Vladimir gives a slow, menacing grin. He responds to his Mentat in a low voice,

“Don’t bother. You know that my nephew loves to play with his food.”

Is this how the world is?

[604to647]

Barón Tovar Takes a Wife

First Movement (Adagio sostenuto)

5.5K / Bridgerton AU Regency!Pero Tovar x fem!reader, a childhood best friends to lovers story

Summary: About to make your society debut and enter London's marriage mart, you don't expect an old friend whom you haven't seen in over 10 years to make a surprise appearance at the first ball of the season.

Warnings: None! Fluff! B, C, D, E, F Bridgerton make appearances. It's me so there's a cute nickname (won't spoil). The masterlist includes a few words about how this reader insert is written - essentially, no reader description other than having hair and wearing dresses in the style of this era, reader has a backstory; much of this part is exposition (so maybe a little slow but we'll get there!😊)

A/N: My plan is to post the entire series before Season 3 of Bridgerton airs, because the story is intended to take place in the background of the same season and if things don't make sense after the show comes out then oh well 🤭 I'm also only 2/3 of the way through Julia Quinn's books, so please forgive me if some of my characterizations of the Bridgertons are not wholly correct 🙏🏻

Wonderful Bridgerton inspired dividers by @saradika-graphics 🥰

Series Masterlist

The Duchess of Hastings stands behind you, admiring the reflection in the mirror of the two of you together, “I dare say, if you had debuted with me during my season, there is a good chance that I may not have been the Diamond.”

“Oh, shush, your Grace,” you make a funny face at her in the mirror, to which she laughs and pokes you in the ribs, “Don’t you start with this ‘Your Grace’ business with me.”

That Daphne Bridgerton is your dearest and oldest friend in England is something you consider to be one of the great fortunes of your life, of which, as the daughter of a Count, you have many.  Violet Bridgerton and your mother, the Countess, had been dear friends and as such, much of your early childhood in England had been spent at Bridgerton House, running around with not only the same aged Daphne, but her elder and younger siblings as well.  The Bridgertons are one of the most beloved families of the ton, their good natured and spirited personalities recommending themselves to everyone, and accordingly, your memories of when your two families would gather remain some of the most joyous of your childhood.

Sadly, your dear mother passed away from illness when you were only seven years of age and your beloved father, who loved her more than life itself, could not bear to stay in England much without her.  The Count was one of several nobles charged with governance of Her Majesty’s Royal Naval Fleet; a gentle man, his purview was primarily diplomatic (as opposed to militaristic) and he thus travelled widely, often and always for long periods of time.

Though he did not wish to remain where so many of his memories dwelled, the Count could not bear to leave his only child behind, and consequently, you had joined your father on his travels.  He proudly raised a cheerful, spirited daughter who loved the seas and adventure as much as she did reading and music.  Your father found that exposing you to and requiring you to immerse yourself in so many foreign cultures at a young age led you to be the most sympathetic and kind hearted child, one who others found easy to converse with and befriend on account of your good humoured nature and open minded heart.  Unencumbered by the rigid etiquette requirements (and dress code!) of British high society, you happily embraced many freedoms that other young ladies of your age and breeding did not have the opportunity to enjoy.  Your father taught you much about the ships and business of the naval fleet, subjects to which you took a great interest; to this day, you know your way around most ships better than some sailors.  The Count was especially proud of your affinity for diplomacy, understanding the importance of fairness and tough negotiation both in foreign matters and managing fleets.  You loved all of it – spending countless hours pouring over maps and letters of diplomatic matters with your father and absorbing all you could; as you got older, you took great pride in the way your father would sometimes seek your opinion and advice on business matters and delighting when he would praise you on your ideas.

While he was unorthodox, your father could not be accused of being neglectful; he would not forgo your formal and societal education, knowing that one day, you would have to return to live in England.  Hiring only the most adventurous and brave governesses to accompany your travels, the Count ensured that your literary, numerical, musical and artistic accomplishments and pursuits could rival those of your peers back home.  You learned to dance the dances of grand balls, though you had only the few foreign dignitary hosted events to practice.  Your only other occasion to practice came when you would return for your infrequent visits to England, reuniting with your beloved Bridgertons to spend nearly all your time catching up and laughing with Daphne and her siblings, and take in what you could of British society before once again being swept away on another ship.  Though brief, these reunions with your friends, coupled with your frequent letters were enough to ensure your friendships remained strong and cherished over the years.

Two years ago, Daphne had made her societal debut, meeting and marrying her love, the Duke, during the marriage season and you could not have been more delighted for your friend.  That season should have also been your debut season, except that you and your father were in the Far East and would not have been able to complete the Count’s business and return in time.  Since you had postponed one year, what was two?  If you had your way, you would have made it three, not eager to give up the life of travel and leisure that you’ve grown accustomed to.  However, when the Queen wrote to ask why the daughter of one of her esteemed Counts has not yet been presented, both you and your father had to regretfully concede that your life as a carefree sea farer was over.

And thus, you find yourself in your present circumstance: in a luxurious silk gown the colour of swan feathers, wearing what might actually be swan feathers in your hair, about to be presented to the Queen before embarking on your first social season.  To be honest, you’re not terribly nervous, save for whatever nerves one always has whenever attempting something new, and you have good reasons not to be.

The first being that you are in the very capable hands of your great friend, the Duchess.  The now Dowager Viscountess had promised your mother that when the time for your debut came, it would be the Bridgerton family’s honour to sponsor you.  If anything, you felt that the honour was all yours – not only were you to have the support and backing of one of the most respected and revered families during your season, you would also be blessed with their company.  As fortune would have it, due to the timing of your debut, Violet had prepared herself to take on the duty of presenting not one but two girls: yourself and her third eldest daughter, Francesca. 

Fearing it was far too much work and pressure, you had assured Violet, whom you loved as a second mother, that she need not fret too much over you; you’re a woman of twenty-three with more world experience than most men twice your age, and encouraged her to focus her attentions on her own daughter.  Violet had been aghast at the implication that she didn’t think of you as one of her daughters, and you were about to be on the receiving end of a scolding that only a mother could dispense when Daphne came to your rescue.  As the Duchess of Hastings, she herself had the right to present young ladies at court, and she declared herself delighted to be your patroness this season.  This was decidedly a win-win; not only could Violet concentrate on Francesca’s prospects, you could now look forward to spending the season with your dear friend by your side.

The second reason you’re not overly anxious is that despite being older than most of the girls debuting at the same time, you know you have plenty to recommend you to potential suitors.  No, you are not terribly conceited nor do you hold your own attributes in such high esteem, but rather, very practically, you know most suitors will not let a small thing such as age deter them from the handsome fortune your father has bestowed upon you. 

The Count was forever exasperated with the shortcomings of the laws of inheritance and how they prevented his one child from inheriting his estate, but he made up for it the best he could with the legal avenues available to him.  First, he set aside a healthy dowry for you, so that you would be sure to attract a similarly healthy crop of high society gentlemen from which to choose a husband.  Second, via his will, you would be provided for for the remainder of your life with a generous per annum allowance that rivaled the income of many estates; you were to want for nothing even if you never married. 

And finally, known only to a select few, your father had a vast investment in an international fleet separate from the naval fleet of the queen; a beloved exploration and trade business venture that was the Count’s passion project - you and him spending many enjoyable hours pouring over the plans and movements of this fleet.  The dividends from your father’s shares went directly into a trust of which you (and any future children of yours) are the sole beneficiary, though the capital had to be held by a man.  It was the Count’s thinking that in addition to the income, it was only fair that you benefitted from a venture that you had invested much of your own heart and time into.  Naturally, being a part of your father’s estate, this investment could be passed down to the next Count (a distant relative), but your father had other plans.  If the intended recipient was willing, you father wanted to sell his shares to his future son-in-law, allowing for the dividends to continue flowing to you and so that you may remain close to the business via your husband’s involvement. 

In other words, there are plenty of reasons that potential suitors who might otherwise be dismissive of your age and lack of societal presence, may find you attractive (the least of which were probably your charm and wit); you can afford to be choosy and you fully intend to be.  And while you’re not quite so hopeful to wish for a great love like that of your parents, or even Daphne and her beloved Simon, you dearly wish for a husband that will understand and respect you; one who will celebrate you for your mind, experience, opinions and all the reasons why you’re different due to having grown up the way you did.

Daphne seems to have high hopes that there will be many potential suitors who will live up to your expectations.  You’re less confident than she, but still more optimistic than not.

Flopping yourself down on the chaise next to Eloise, the two of you heave heavy sighs in unison.  After the nerve-racking presentation to the queen earlier this week, the following days have been a non-stop flurry of ribbons, fittings, etiquette lessons and teas with the express purpose of study in the who’s who of the ton.  In just a few hours, all of Violet and Daphne’s hard work and preparations will be put on display when your contingent attends the first event of the season: the Danbury Ball.

Eloise passes a box of candy to you and you select a treat gratefully.  Though Daphne is your closest friend, you’ve sometimes found yourself having a fair amount in common with Eloise and know her to be a trustworthy confidant; this is one of those times.  While you don’t think you have it in you to hate anything as much as Eloise despises the marriage mart, the both of you at least have the good fortune of being able to be picky with your suitors and moreover, wish to exercise that particular privilege.  For Eloise, marriage is a cage.  For you, it’s the not marriage itself, but a union with an imprudent match that you wish to avoid.  If you can no longer be free to sail the seas and wander through the valleys and streets of the foreign lands that call your name, you must insist that the home you’re being called home to roost is at the very least, pleasant.

“I beg of you,” murmurs Eloise, “Please let all the fashionable young men fill up your dance card so that there shall be none left for me.”

You steal another piece of candy, “I’m afraid there’s more than enough young men to go around, El.  Plus, you really ought to beseech Franny for your request, my dance card may struggle for applicants on account of me being such an old maid,” you giggle.

“None of that negativity now,” chimes in Daphne from the open door, “tonight is full of possibilities.”

During the season, you’re staying at Bridgerton House so to be close to all the finery of dresses, jewels, shoes, ladies’ maids and moral support that you may need.  Your father is staying nearby in another house on Grosvenor Square, and comes by most days to see his daughter and dear family friends for breakfast at the very least.  You have loved your life with your father, but at times like these, when you are laughing at and listening to the loving snipes and bickering of the Bridgerton siblings, you often wonder what it would have been like to have a more traditional upbringing.  Pushing that thought out of your mind, you stand and pull Eloise up with you so that the two of you can follow the Duchess to the next room where you’re expected to choose from the glittering selection of dresses laid out for tonight.

As you lean towards selecting a pretty lavender gown, Daphne fills you in on the processional arrangements for your entrances tonight, “Mama, Franny, Anthony and Kate will take the first carriage, then you, Eloise and I will follow in the second.  We will enter the ball in that order as well.”

“What about Colin and Ben?”

“They’re meeting with some friend from Colin’s travels whom he met in… I want to say Greece?  They will make their own way and meet us at the ball.”  You nod agreeably; as long as everyone is together at some point or another, your first season event will feel a lot less daunting.

---

As you walk into the Danbury estate, you cannot but feel a bit overwhelmed by all the elegance and glamour on display.  Though no stranger to luxury and finer things, it’s not very often that you find yourself amidst so much opulence.  Eyes shining as you take in the finery, your voice is full of excitement and genuine awe as you compliment Lady Danbury and thank her for hosting tonight’s soiree.  Hand clasped tight in Daphne and Eloise’s as you make your way down the main hall to the ballroom, you see Colin further down on the right side of the hallway, waving alongside Benedict.  Waiting by the wall with the Bridgerton brothers is a third gentleman, tall and broad shouldered with soft, curly brown hair who currently has his back to you; Colin has on a mischievous grin and he’s speaking to the stranger quietly, eyes flitting back to you and his sisters periodically as you approach.  This can’t be good, you think with suspicion.  When you’re a few steps away from meeting with the brothers, Colin gives the stranger a slight nod and he turns around; before you even have a chance to look upon the newcomer’s face, you hear a familiar sweet baritone voice say, “Hello, Dulce.”

At first, you’re in shock; the Spanish word for candy is not a nickname people commonly call you and it’s one you haven’t heard in over ten years.  Then joy of recognition and realization overtake you and you completely forget where you are, crying out, “Pero!!!”  Your arms behave of their own accord and fly open to wrap around his neck as you launch yourself into the handsome man’s arms.

He hugs you back firmly and whispers low in your ear, “Happy to see you, too” before releasing you, the both of you immediately stepping apart and drop your hands to your sides, remembering where you are and that the eyes of the ton are always watching.  But you can’t help but beam; nor can you look away from Pero’s face. 

Pero Tovar had been your most constant and beloved friend for many of your happiest childhood years spent abroad.  Pero’s father, a Barón of Spain, was in charge of naval governance for his country in a similar capacity as your father was for England and accordingly, their paths crossed regularly in foreign countries.  Both men of gentlemanly dispositions, the Count and the Barón had forged a deep and lasting friendship as they conducted their business.  Another thing that they had bonded over was the fact that they were both widows who uncharacteristically chose to bring and raise their children with them on their travels. 

So, although Pero is eight years your elder and already in his early teens when you first met, being the only two children of sea loving foreign diplomats in the strange lands you found yourselves in readily recommended you to each other and you had become happy and frequent playmates.  Pero devoted hours and hours to your amusement, allowing himself to play more juvenile games of pretend that he may not otherwise with compatriots of his own age, and with his encouragement you grew to be brave and curious, always wishing to keep up with the older boy.  He helped you with your studies, and you played music for him, learning and mastering the pieces he enjoyed the most.  The two of you shared a love of literature and it became your special version of a traditional hunt in each new country you landed in to find foreign language versions of the other’s favourite books so that you could read the translations alongside your worn English copies.  Some of the most cherished copies of your favourite books, ones you carry with you from country to country still, were gifts from Pero. 

As you got older, your shared adventures expanded to include exploring the streets of new cities, trying local cuisines and frolicking on the beaches of the coasts of Italy, Portugal and even India.  The last time you had seen him, he was a strapping young man of twenty and you had been twelve.  His father was returning to Spain for an undetermined amount of time to deal with affairs of his estate, and Pero would be entering university, having postponed his acceptance for two years already.  Although you had each promised to write, the letters were far and few between and eventually you lost track of Pero – you can hardly blame either of you; you were travelling with your father and not always easy to find, and you didn’t really expect a young man concentrating on his studies to have the time to write to a young girl despite having been her very best friend for so many years.

But now he’s standing right in front of you and you can hardly believe your eyes.  He’s impossibly tall and wide, a far cry from the lanky boy with whom you scrambled over rocks on the beaches of Portugal, but he’s still tanned, leading you to surmise that he must still sail or at least get a healthy amount of sun regularly.  And while his face is older, devastatingly handsome with a cutting jawline partially hidden by untamed facial scruff, he’s completely recognizable to you.  An easy clue is the scar that runs from above his left eyebrow down past his eye, though faded from when you saw it last, but it’s the indulgent smile he’s giving you right now that gives him away to you.

“What are you doing at this ball? Did you know I would be here?” you can’t help but continue to stare at Pero wide-eyed, grinning like a fool.

“Oh!  We made the connection earlier this week at dinner,” chimes in Colin, “We were going to bring him over to the house but thought this would be more fun.”

You make to swat at Colin’s arm. “How did you meet this scoundrel?” you jest, with absolutely no malice in your voice, pointing your thumb at the still laughing Bridgerton brother.  As your group starts to move towards the ballroom, Pero falls into an easy step by your side, “We met when Colin was taking in the crisp sea air of Mykonos, and then again last year in the vineyards of Tuscany.  He made for excellent company after a long day of helping the locals prune grape vines.  Naturally, when I arrived in London for business this month, I had to look him up.”

Daphne is now tugging you towards the ballroom by your hand, and in turn, you’ve grabbed onto and are practically dragging Eloise down the hall with you.  You shout back to Pero, “I want to hear everything!” and can’t help the smile that spreads across your excited face when he nods after you.

“Oh!” you breathe, invigorated from the surprise of seeing Pero, as you come to a stop right before the entrance way.  Daphne smiles over at you, “It was so hard keeping it a secret from you!”

You’re astonished, “You knew about Pero as well?”

“Yes, I thought it might give you an additional boost of confidence to have another friend’s support during your first event.” 

You smile at your sweet friend and squeeze her hand affectionately, “Thank you!  It does and I’m delighted to see Pero again.  But in truth, my confidence could never be lacking when I have a friend like you next to me.” 

Daphne gives you her biggest smile and squeezes your hand right back.  A moment later, the three of you step into the ballroom and meet the gazes of the other attendees as you’re announced.

---

The ball is a whirlwind.  It seems you hardly have a moment to even catch your breath, never mind catch up with Pero.  From the moment you walked in to the grand hall, you were pulled in this direction and then that, introduced to new person after new person, some of whose names were familiar from your visits home over the years, and others only from the copious amounts of study you’ve done on the ton over the past week.  You’ve certainly forgotten all their names by now. 

Then it’s dance after dance after dance with the young gentleman that Daphne parades in front of you.  The dancing itself is quite pleasant and a lovely way to shake out some of your jitters, but you find the small talk hardly enough to get to know your partners, and when the dance is over and you’re once again being whisked away to another introduction or meeting that the Duchess has lined up for you.  The few opportunities you’ve had to take a breather and indulge in a glass of lemonade, you’ve been happy to retreat back to Pero and your small familiar group; but just when you’ve started to entreat your old friend to open up about his adventures since you saw him last, another potential suitor will be introduced and the entire cycle starts over again.

It’s only when you’re halfway through the evening that the frenzy has died down enough that you can observe and be amused by Pero’s behaviour at the ball.  While you’re constantly twirling around the dancefloor, you notice that he never leaves his position against the wall and doesn’t dance at all; he mainly scowls and looks displeased, hardly speaking to anyone other than the Bridgertons or you when you have a free moment.  You feel his eyes follow you as you glide across the dance floor with the young men that have asked you to dance, and even when you’re making your way through the room on Daphne’s arm, meeting and making small talk with the other families of the ton.  When you do happen to look up and search for him, you often find him glowering and looking dissatisfied, though if you catch his eye, his expression will soften slightly. 

Once while you were dancing with Lord Whitfield, you had caught Pero’s eye mid-turn and made a silly quizzical face at him, as if to ask What’s going on with you? and you think you see him laugh briefly before the steps of the dance require you to turn away from him.  You wonder why frowns so fearsomely and if there’s a reason for him to be so stoic and curt with the rest of the ton.  It’s so odd to you as you’ve never had so much as a cross word from him in all the time you’ve known him, not even when you had snuck out of the compound in Singapore when you were nine so you could watch the fireworks display.  Pero had come looking for you, his face serious and eyes panicked when he finally found you in the busy square, but he never once got mad.  Instead, he swore not to tell your father, and promised that if you had wanted to see the fireworks up close, he would accompany you.  And then he did just that the next night and the night after that.  But here, when not engaging the company of his friends, Pero’s countenance is positively sour.  Any hopes harboured by the mamas of the ton for snagging a Spanish nobility son-in-law this season are quickly dashed.  Barón Tovar is decidedly not here to find a wife.

With the evening more than half over, you realize that unless you make the point to do so, an opportunity to speak more than a few minutes with Pero will surely not present itself.  And while you are having fun meeting potential suitors, your mind consistently wanders to Pero throughout the evening.  Aside from simply wishing to catch up with him and be in his comforting presence, you do have something important you feel compelled to speak to him on.

After a particularly spirited quadrille, you curtsey your gratitude for the dance to Mr. Sedgewick, and before any of the young men you spy hovering nearby can approach you, you hurry as elegantly as you can toward where Pero is standing awkwardly pressed to the wall. 

Pero, having seen the look of determination on your face when seeking him out, asks with concern when you come up to him, “Is everything okay, Dulce?”

There he is, you smile when you see the kind, gentle expression of the boy that you knew for so many years, “Everything is fine, Pero.  Although I must admit to needing a respite from all the endless socializing.  Do you think we could get some lemonade?”

“Of course.  I would be happy to accompany you in fetching a glass.”

With Pero by your side, any person who previously had designs on engaging you during this brief break between dances now thinks better of it; you chuckle to yourself as his fearsome expression comically paves a clear path for you to the refreshments table.  Once having secured your drink, you ask Pero if you can speak to him privately.

Careful not to lead you from view of other people lest it incite a scandal, Pero finds a quiet place in the entrance hallway and turns to find you looking up at him rather seriously.

When you’re certain you have his attention, you launch into your confession, “Pero, please allow me to tell you how sorry I was to hear of your father’s passing.  I remember him as such a kind, generous man, and such a wonderful friend to my father and by extension, me.  I will always think of him with tremendous fondness.”

“Thank you, Dulce.  I know he thought very highly of both you and your father and forever treasured your friendships.”

But you’re not done and start to shake your head, eyes filling with tears, “And I’m so very sorry that I did not write to you at the time.  I didn't know where you were, but I should have been more diligent in my efforts to find you.  I deeply regret not being there for you if you needed someone.  I hope you were not alone during that difficult time.”

You hang your head in shame.  Pero feels a deep affection for you blossoming in his chest; before him is the same sweet and compassionate girl he knew when he was a boy.  Tender-hearted and endlessly considerate of the feelings of others, you always had more empathy than you knew what to do with; he himself had been on the receiving end of your care and concern more times than he could count.  Pero gently tips you chin up with his gloved finger, “It was a tough time and I miss him a great deal.  But he was an incredible man and I strive to follow the example he set for me everyday.  So, in many ways, he is still with me.  No need for any apologies.”  He gives you what he hopes is a soft and reassuring smile.

In return, you grin, “Who are you and what have you done with my friend?  The boy I knew would have made me pay dearly for even the slightest offense - my portion of dessert for a week, at the very least.”

Unable to hold back his own grin, Pero is finding it easy to slip back into this familiar type of playful banter with you, “Well, I was trying to be a gentleman, but since you think me nothing more than a brute, I shall have no trouble devising an appropriate punishment.  For your transgression against me, I demand… a dance.”

You laugh whole-heartedly and it feels wonderful to laugh loudly at something genuinely funny rather than the quiet polite laughter you’ve been making most of the evening. “A dance?  Well, that is hardly a concession for me!  One dance with you means one less spot on my dance card for some lord I don’t know but who Daphne thinks I might find charming,” you joke.

“Are you finding your potential suitors so far to be villains or are they all just very boring?” smirks Pero.

Giving him a little punch in the arm to show him you’re not really complaining, “I am not so terribly unfeeling.  They are for the most part fine enough gentlemen.  The particular circumstance we find ourselves in just makes them so very eager.  It can feel terribly awkward.”

“None of them are good enough for you anyway.”

“Oh, and you are?” you jest, eyes full of mirth.

“Dulce, I’m the worst of the bunch,” counters Pero, leaning in close.

“I don’t doubt it,” you haven’t smiled this wide all evening.

“Be that as it may, the price you must pay to regain my favour remains the same.  Shall we?” Pero holds out his arm, waiting for you to accept his dance invitation; you hold on to him gratefully and head back into the main ballroom, realizing this is the first dance of the ball that you’ve truly looked forward to.

When Pero takes his place across from you, the tittering from the crowd that the Barón has finally taken to the dance floor can be heard over the opening notes of the music.  You can’t help but giggle, and Pero beams back at you – your light laughter more melodic than any music he’s ever heard.

Hand firmly curling around your waist, Pero sways you to the beat and the two of you carry out the steps of the dance comfortably together.  You hadn’t realized how much stress you’ve been under or how much tension you’ve been holding in until now, when you find yourself actually relaxing in Pero’s strong hold.  For the first time this evening, you’re dancing without nerves or the pressure of having to make polite conversation or a good first impression; you can simply be.  You sigh in contentment.

“What is it, Dulce?  Are my dance skills not to the standard set by your other partners this evening?”

“Hardly,” you chuckle, “I know for a fact that you dance remarkably well.  And if I were to have any complaints, the blame would rest squarely on my shoulders since we learned these dances together.”

“That’s true, we can only be as good as the partners we practice with.”

“Exactly. At least that’s what Madam used to say, right before she would rap you on your shoulders with her rhythm baton,” you muse, nostalgic.

“That weapon had a name?  I have not thought of Madam for many years now, but upon my word if I did not straighten up and stiffen my arms just now.”

You share another chortle as only two close friends with a long history of fond memories and inside jokes between them can.  When you sigh again, Pero cocks his scarred eyebrow at you.

“Do not think me dissatisfied, my Lord.  It is simply just so comfortable dancing with you, as if it has not been over ten years since we last did so.”

“I feel the same way, Dulce.”

You smile sincerely at Pero; although you could explain yourself further, you somehow know that he understands your meaning without you having to do so.  Feeling content, both heart and mood light in the safety of Pero’s closed frame, you find yourself wishing that you could spend the rest of the ball dancing with only him.

I've never done a tag list before so please let me know if it doesn't work, or you don't/do want to be on it, or it sets your phone on fire 😅 @drewharrisonwriter @inept-the-magnificent @tuquoquebrute @titabel

[bi-bard]

Taylor Swift Songs That Would Describe a Relationship with Fiyero Tigelaar - Fiyero Tigelaar Imagine [Wicked]

Title: Taylor Swift Songs That Would Describe a Relationship with Fiyero Tigelaar

Pairing: Fiyero Tigelaar X Reader

Word Count: 3,233 words

Warning(s): argument, yelling

Summary: Three songs by Taylor Swift that would describe a relationship with Fiyero Tigelaar. Features "How Did It End?", "The Alchemy", and "Now That We Don't Talk".

Author's Note: I did get to see Wicked. I really enjoyed it. We're ignoring the plot of it so I can get this story to work.

I also think this is my first piece of fanfiction inspired by Taylor Swift's music since before my little hiatus.

MORE STORIES LIKE THIS!

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How Did It End?

We'll tell no one except all of our friends We must know How did it end?

Leaving Fiyero the first time wasn't easy. It never had been.

It was being ripped away from the best form of comfort I had ever been able to experience. I remember being angry and scared and sad. I yelled at my parents, tried to justify what had happened, tried to explain that my bad choices weren't his fault just because he happened to be with me at the time.

They never believed me. They always saw him as a terrible influence and now they had the evidence to prove it.

Their perspective began to sink in after a matter of months. I found myself becoming increasingly angry with Fiyero, no matter how illogical it felt at first.

Coming to Shiz University felt like it had been a chance to re-center myself. To focus on my future instead of being consistently angry about the past.

But time has a cruel way of making the past relevant in the present.

I had no idea where the rumors about me started. I had no idea who had started the spread of those rumors either.

All I knew was that there was one day where I was living in a quiet peace of being unnoticed and the next, I was being met with strange side glances and whispered conversations about me after I passed.

I tried my best to ignore it. I had hoped it was just my mind attempting to play tricks on me. Maybe they weren't looking at me, but I had just happened to catch their eye. Maybe their whispered conversations were never about me, they just happened to be going on as I walked by.

It wasn't until I met Elphaba in the library that I realized that anything was wrong at all. She had met me with a tight hug, as if softening the blow of something that I didn't realize had hit me.

"What is it," I asked.

"You haven't heard?" she furrowed her eyebrows.

"No... should I be worried?"

"Maybe," she replied, pulling me to sit down next to her. "Someone has started some terrible rumor about you."

I felt my blood freeze for a moment as I realized that my brain hadn't been playing a trick on me. It had been showing me exactly what was truly happening.

"About you and Fiyero," she continued.

I was confused and it must have shown on my face.

"Apparently, your avoidance of him hasn't gone unnoticed... especially after your run-in with him a few days ago," she explained. "I don't know where it started, but there is this story going around that you used to be obsessed with him and his family. Then, your behavior was discovered, and you were sent away. Now, you're avoiding him as a result of your guilt"

"What?" I scoffed. "That doesn't make any sense!"

"Most rumors don't."

"Do people actually believe this stuff?"

"According to my roommate, yes," she confirmed. "A lot of them."

My heart dropped to my stomach and my body suddenly felt like it was burning. It was like a million eyes had all focused on me all at once.

"I tried to tell her the truth, but I have no idea if she believed me or not."

"I'm so sorry..." Elphaba touched my arm.

"I... I just wanted... I feel like a fool."

"You have nothing wrong," she promised, squeezing my arm for comfort.

I tried to grin at her, but my stomach was churning and my head was spinning.

I looked toward the library's entrance just as Fiyero walked in. He had clearly been looking for something. I realized what it was when he met my eyes.

I abruptly stood up, startling Elphaba. "Sorry. I... I need to go. I'll speak to you later. I... I'm sorry."

I quickly walked out of the library, narrowly avoiding Fiyero at the door. I heard his steps behind me.

I weaved in and out of groups of students. My face was on fire as I did. It felt like every single pair of eyes were on me at once and it was beginning to bury me.

If Fiyero had tried to call my name, I couldn't hear him. Or maybe my brain had just tuned him out in the hopes of getting me to go a little faster. I didn't fully comprehend him saying anything until we were in the hallway to my dorm.

"(Y/n)!" he called. "Please, just wait for a moment!"

"Just leave me alone," I muttered, trying to move even faster than before.

"If you would just listen to me for one moment, then I can explain that I had nothing to do with any of this-"

"Leave me alone!" I shouted, sharply turning on my heels to face Fiyero. "This is all you have done our entire lives! I face the consequences for the actions you have done! You made a scene and now I am left looking like a monster! Have you not done enough to ruin any future I had? This is why my parents wanted me so far away from you in the first place!"

"I thought... I thought your parents found new work-"

"Yes, they very suddenly found new work right after you managed to get me kicked out of the best school that I could have gone to in my situation," my voice was sarcastic. "Very believable."

"(Y/n)-"

"Leave me alone!" I snapped again. My voice dropped. Anger turning into pleading. "Please. You've done enough harm."

"(Y/n), please-"

I stepped back into my room, slamming and locking the door behind me.

I stood in the center of the room. I didn't know what else to do or where to go. I was just left there, crying as I tried to figure out what could possibly go wrong next.

The Alchemy

Ditch the clowns, get the crown, baby, I'm the one to beat 'Cause the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?

It was really nice to find myself with a close friend after all this time.

It was like having a safety net. Someone that I could follow into all sorts of previously scary situations with the knowledge that if I fell on my face, I wouldn't be doing it alone.

I kept having to repeat that thought over and over as I walked with Elphaba to the doors of the Ozdust Ballroom. I had been avoiding this place long before I had an actual good reason to. Large crowds had never really been my thing, so if I could avoid them, I was going to.

"We don't have to go," I said, stopping in my tracks. "We could go have a great night... somewhere else."

"Now, that doesn't follow your usual speech about fear not holding power unless you give it power," she chuckled at me.

"I made that speech long before... you know what happened."

Her face turned into a look of pity as she took my hand and squeezed it. "Be brave on my behalf then, instead of your own."

"Alright," I mumbled.

Her arm locked with mine as we walked toward the doors again.

The entire building was buzzing. The energy seemed to move from one person to another like everyone was connected through some kind of wire.

I spotted Galinda across the room. She was trying to wave down Elphaba. I pointed to her, holding back a chuckle at how she flailed her arms.

"You can go," I said.

"Are you sure?"

"I will be just fine," I promised. "And I will come and find you if something happens."

She nodded and dropped my arm. I grinned as she walked to her roommate. It was nice to see that they had seemingly developed some kind of connection since beginning to live together. They were good for each other. I could see it.

I continued down the steps. I took some comfort in the fact that nothing stopped as people noticed me. Some people glanced at me and muttered something to whoever they were with but still continued to enjoy their night without me interrupting.

I reached the bottom step without feeling like a complete nuisance.

And then, Fiyero spotted me. He was the first to completely stop when he saw me. I stopped too.

It seemed to cause a wave to ring through the room as more and more people stopped. He started navigating through the crowd of people, which was only causing more people to stop and look at where he was heading.

I should have run away. Turned around and walked outside and left everyone to enjoy their night, but I couldn't. Something stopped me where I was as if I had been physically stuck to the stairs.

The music stopping made my stomach lurch. This was exactly what I wanted to avoid. I just wanted to come out and enjoy myself. I wanted to be able to ignore the eyes that could have landed on me. Now, I was left with no choice other than to hear the hushed and panicked conversations between other students as Fiyero weaved through the rest of the crowd.

The room was silent by the time Fiyero had stopped in front of me. In everyone else's mind, I'm sure it was a frightening sight. They were all prepared for the worst. I knew that much.

Maybe they were better off than I was. They had a clear image of how this interaction could go; I had no idea at all.

I tried to remain tall and stoic. Shoulders rolled back and my back straight. Chin held up as if I had something to take pride in.

"I'm sorry," Fiyero said after a moment. It cut through the tense silence like shears through fabric.

I didn't respond. Not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't.

I still felt some part of me yelling for me to turn around and walk away.

But still, some other part of me told me to just stay because running would do nothing to help me anymore.

"About everything," he continued. "You were right. I have dragged you through mess after mess and I'm sorry. I don't know how that story about you started."

I felt my chest tighten slightly at the mention. Fiyero turned to the crowd that had gathered.

"None of what you have been told was true," he announced. There was some murmuring. "That is all you deserve to know."

He turned back to me. I finally found the ability to speak again, "Thank you."

"You have no reason to forgive me," he said. "None at all, but I would enjoy being in your company again, if you will allow it."

I took a deep breath, letting my shoulders drop a bit before I started nodding. "I think that would be nice."

A smile broke out on his face before he hugged me tightly. I let out a small, shocked sound as he did. I was a little nervous that he was going to pull me off the step. As I stepped back, I looked out into the crowd, who was still standing and watching us.

I heard some particularly loud muttering to the side of the crowd. I looked over to see Galinda and Elphaba clearly in a heated discussion. Well, more Galinda was clearly very passionate about something and Elphaba was trying to get her to lower her voice.

"Will you stop shushing me," Galinda asked, swatting away Elphaba's hand that was trying to touch her arm.

"You are not very good at whispering," Elphaba explained.

"I'm just saying that after all of this, I was expecting them to finally kiss-" she glanced around at the eyes that had landed on her. I was now aware of just how much my dear friend had let slip to her roommate. "Oh..."

"Do you understand what I was saying now?"

"Sorry, continue, please," she motioned to Fiyero and me.

I found myself chuckling over the entire interaction. Fiyero looked at me, seemingly finding some relief or comfort or just joy in my laugh. I don't know if I had ever seen him be quiet for so long. I was about to question it before he abruptly grabbed my hand and led me back up the stairs that I had just barely made it down.

He didn't stop until we had rounded the corner. We were out of sight of the doorway now. Alone... for now, at least.

"I would apologize for that, but I think it would start to make the words seem meaningless," Fiyero said.

"Probably," I agreed.

There was a pause between us. For all the tension that had been alleviated, it still felt like there was still so much.

"I lied," he muttered after a moment. I furrowed my eyebrows at him. "About your hair. It doesn't make your face look weird."

"Thank you?" I laughed a little as I spoke.

Fiyero smiled at me for a moment just like he had been before we had left the Oz Dust. As my chuckling died down a bit, he leaned forward. He kissed me gently as his hands touched my sides. My arms wrapped around his neck as I started kissing him back.

When he pulled back, he didn't move far. It felt like his hold on me only tightened, as if he was scared that I was going to be pulled away from him again. His eyes were closed, face close to mine.

"Fiyero..."

His eyes opened before he spoke, "I've missed you."

I smiled. "I missed you too."

He slowly stepped back, grabbing my hand and beginning to pull me along with him.

"Where are we going," I asked.

"No idea," he shrugged. "You know that I prefer it that way."

I didn't respond, instead just allowing him to pull me along with him. Maybe I could enjoy that way of thinking for a little while too.

Now That We Don't Talk

I miss the old ways, you didn't have to change But I guess I don't have a say Now that we don't talk

I was a child.

I was simply a tall child carrying around books just so I could look like some semblance of a student at Shiz.

At least, that's how it felt when I found myself scrambling from one place to another as soon as Fiyero happened to waltz into the room.

The first time it happened, I had been with Elphaba. We were discussing our essay for Dr. Dillamond's class when I spotted Fiyero from across the quad.

My feet froze, my heart stopped, my eyes went wide. I had completely stopped functioning.

"(Y/n)?" Elphaba touched my arm, trying to shake me out of my panicked state.

And then, Fiyero's eyes met mine.

I abruptly grabbed Elphaba's hand, dragging her with me in the opposite direction of the crowd that was gathering around my old friend.

"(Y/n), what's happening?"

"Nothing, nothing," I explained quickly. "Just want to take a new route. Adventure and discovery and avoiding the large crowd."

She stopped us both, looking at me with nothing other than pure worry. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Because I think I have," I muttered. "I'm sorry, Elphaba, I really am. I will explain everything soon enough, but I need you to just trust me for now. Please."

She merely nodded and let me continue pulling her with me.

After that day, I made a point to avoid Fiyero at all costs. It was the only choice I really had at the time. I had no interest in drudging up old memories and avoiding him was the only way to truly avoid that.

That's not to say that he never knew I was there. He had spotted me more than once. The only job then would be to get out of the given area before he has a chance to say a single word to me.

Elphaba was more than willing to help with my little escape routes.

I truly thought that I was doing fine.

And then, I stepped out of class and straight into his line of sight.

I think he had been waiting for me. He had no books or notes or anything. He was just there, leaning against the door frame.

I froze for a few moments, my feet becoming stone.

Fiyero's eyes lit up when he saw me in front of him. "I knew it!"

I turned around abruptly, starting to quickly walk down the hall in the other direction. I knew that this building was a circle. I just had to move quickly.

"Wait, wait!"

I did not wait. I had a matter of seconds to track down Elphaba and use her as an excuse for why I was simply too busy to stop and chat with an old friend.

I managed to make a full circle, so focused on checking how far Fiyero was behind me that I didn't notice what was in front of me until I ran into it headfirst.

"I'm sorry-" my words fell flat when I saw I had run into Fiyero. "Oh."

"Hello, (Y/n)" he said as he smiled at me. "I thought that was you."

"Fiyero." I nodded awkwardly, tapping my fingers against my books. "How are you?"

"Oh, you know me," he shrugged. "Having the time of my life."

"Easy when everyone fawns over you," I replied.

"Oh absolutely," he agreed, his expression changing to show his amusement.

He really hadn't changed much since I saw him last. The same attitude and annoyingly convincing charm. Everything about him was exaggerated. It was almost endearing but mostly infuriating.

I saw his eyes bounce along my features. From my eyes to my hair to the rest of my face and body. He was never one for subtly. I always thought it bored him.

His eyes went back to my hair. "When did you change your hair?"

"Some time ago." I kept my answers purposely vague. Unlike him, I had changed. My openness was one of the many victims of the process.

He pouted, looking away from me like a toddler. "I don't like it. Makes your face look weird."

I scoffed at him. "Mature. Good thing you have no right to an opinion on my appearance."

"(Y/n)!" I looked over as Elphaba called my name. I didn't wait to say goodbye to Fiyero before going to meet her and let her drag me away from the scene.

"I owe you," I promised. Since my first incident with Fiyero, I had told her the entire story. She wasn't impressed with him.

"Getting to see the look on his face as you walked away was good enough for me."

I chuckled. There was a pause as we walked before I spoke up again, "Do you like my hair?"

"What?"

"Do you like my hair the way it is?"

"I think it's nice."

"It doesn't make my face look weird?"

"Not at all," she stopped and stepped in front of me. "Please, don't let that boy get in your head. You've worked hard enough to keep him out."

I nodded. "I won't."

It was unfortunate that I had already broken that promise.

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[kwamiwayzz]

Jeckole Fic Rec List Part II

(Art by emilu-enjuagas on Twitter)

I'm doing another one of these, but more for newer-ish fics. The more well-known ones are the most Kudos'ed fics you'll see on AO3 (for good reason), but I thought I'd give some love on some fics that probably aren't getting as much attention since the fandom isn't as active as it was last year.

Similar to the last rec list that I had, I'll mostly be sharing my thoughts that may or may not talk about the plot for each fic.

Candied Consideration by Kayleen756894 - This is by the same author who wrote Inscriptions (aka one of my favorite Jeckole fics), and while I haven't read it yet, I can always trust this author to deliver. It's a crossover fic, which may not be everyone's cup of tea--but, it's a crossover fic with Heathers (that one musical I haven't seen). I know nothing about Heathers, but based on some of the things I've been hearing about this fic, it's that one crossover that a lot of people didn't expect they needed. Both source material are pretty similar in terms of vibes which makes it fit pretty well for someone who's primarily a Class of '09 fic reader. I have yet to read this, but it's Kayleen, so...I'm sat.

Even When It's Quiet by mlpvsbojackhorseman - I didn't get a chance to read the old version when it was still running, but the author ended up revamping it and is currently on Chapter 2 with a darker tone. As someone who loves hurt/comfort Jeckole (especially fics that touch more on the darker aspect of mental health), this was that type of fic I was looking for to scratch that itch. I want to note that the tags include Dead Dove, but the author mentioned it's more for exploring really taboo subjects as Jecka and Nicole's relationship progresses.

God, I'm Very, Very Frightened I'll Overdo It by Fox_Is_Fandumb - I believe this fic has been around while the fandom was much more active, but it recently updated earlier this month and thought to put it on this list. I don't care if people say it's OOC for Nicole and Jecka because I'm vanilla and like seeing them happy. But what makes this not as "OOC" for me personally is that their core personality traits are still retained in some way despite being more mellowed out. It's meant to be a collection of oneshots during their (Jecka's) college years, most of which are pretty fluffy. If you're looking for some light-hearted fluff between the two that takes place after high school, you should give this a read.

Wanweird by AbsurdofOurs - I didn't think I'd find another fic that gave me the same feeling as Progman's Jeckole, but this was definitely the one. Nicole is peak loser in this one, and I love it. She's living in Emily's car and sells vapes to kids on the playground, all while still thinking about her situationship with Jecka back in high school. I say that this gives me the same feeling as Progman's Jeckole since their dynamic is largely inspired by Codepedent Philosopher's Guide to Staying Alive. And honestly, I eat that kind of codependent dynamic up so good. I love the interactions between Nicole and Jecka, and there were some scenes where I found myself laughing because of the comedic timing. I love the way that this author writes Jecka and Nicole's dialogue, and if you're looking for a specific codependent flavor of Jeckole, this is the fic for you.

Reflection by Kayleen756894 - Another Kayleen fic, but this time, it's a Halloween special. I read this when it came out and the pining on Nicole's end made me think I was witnessing her in a glass closet. Nicole is a vampire in this one, surprise, surprise, but she also craves Jecka's blood--the same friend who may or may not let her have a hit when she gets hungry. The part I love the most about this fic (aside from the prose) is the banter between the two. It was definitely needed after everyone's disappointment from the third game lol. If you're looking for a fluff(?) Halloween-themed fic, this is for you.

sweetgirl by jackdotcom - This was a really sweet fic I read (while I was bedridden from my Illness Part II) that takes place around Christmas. It's broken up into three chapters (though can easily be read in one go), and it has Nicole and Jecka having a shitty time but decide to spend the Christmas day together pretending that it's not Christmas.

Last Night in Town by bunmoder - I actually read this last night, and I believe they're a newer writer that came in, but I loved the way they wrote the overall mood of this fic. It's a more bittersweet Jeckole fic, but it's also very fluffy during the quiet moments.

I Was Never Complete Without You by MentalCrit09 - Also another post-Flipside fic, but for those people who hated the FYE Roadtrip route. It focuses more on Jecka's recovery back into normlacy after being rescued from that distasteful ending. It's not super angsty and has enough balance between the heavy subjects of what Jecka went through as well as the general fluff after reuniting with Nicole. For anyone who really wanted a fix-it fic/happy ending fic from arguably one of the worst endings from Flip Side, this fic is for you.

Laughter of a Faded Star by Progman - This actually isn't an old fic, and also a bit of a strange one. However, after my hesitation from reading a very AU-divergent fic, I thought this deserved to be on here. I've mentioned before that I tend to lean more towards Jeckole fics where they're adults, so that's most likely why this is here. I do want to mention that it feels very divorced from the original source material, but Progman explains it enough in both the writing and their author's notes to why Nicole and Jecka are the way they are here. Nicole isn't super fucked up here since her dad never shot himself, but because of that, she and Jecka never met in high school. This is more of an AU where they meet as adults, where Nicole is a part-time comedian while Jecka is a therapist/psychologist. It might not be up everyone's alley, but I enjoyed reading it and seeing how their meeting played out as their alternate selves.

And that's it, for now at least. I really wanted to try and focus more on newer/recently updated fics (post-Flipside) despite throwing in some older ones. It's not a very long list, but hopefully I can create a Jeckole masterlist one day (including Explicit works) that has fics stretching back from post-Re-Up.

I'll probably have a general Class of '09 rec list at some point because while I'm mostly a Jeckole monoshipper, there have been some fics for other pairings that I thought were well-written. But we'll see when I'm not too lazy to make that one lol.

[d3adbr3inc3lls]

may i request a post-dlc kieran x male punk reader? reader is seen as pretty intimidating due to their music taste and style, and they don’t back down about their beliefs, but they’re still a kind person. maybe when they battle they play on their guitar to hype their pokemon up, and rock out alongside them!

please take care, i really enjoy your writing :)

Post DLC!Kieran x Punk!M!Reader

A/N: Sorry this is late, but yeah, hope you enjoy it !!! Gave reader a shiny Toxtricity because I feel like it suits their aesthetic.

10/08 - I had this ready months ago, idk why I haven't posted it earlier....

Sure Kieran wasn't in his "Don't raise your voice at me. I WILL cry" phase anymore, and he was the seccond strongest trainer in the Academy

But that didn't stop him from being intimidated by others.

He heard rumours about you-

About how loud you were, how much of a troublemaker you were, how disobedient you were, constantly breaking the rules as you see fit.

Even Carmine strongly warned him to stay away from you.

You were seen as a delinquent by some teachers who were quick to judge, how could he not be intimidated?

You stood up for your beliefs, and sure, a small part of him admired that under all the fear and intimidation.

Rules are made to be broken.

Right?

He believed the rumors for so long, he tried to stay away from you as much as possible, fearing for whatever ruckus you may cause.

But in reality, you are a kind person, and Kieran only found that out becuase the two of you shared the same battle studies class and you two battled eachother.

As expected, Kieran won the battle, he was ex-champion after all.

But honestly? Kieran was blown away at your battling style,

You and your shiny Toxtricity were like partners in crime.

The two of you two complemented eachother well.

Kieran was always mesmerised at how you went full out in battles. You always used your guitar to hype up your party and it worked.

Their cries always got stronger alongside whatever you were playing inspired Kieran to give it his all.

That was the only time he ever interacted with you, and you were the complete opposite of what the rumours said you are.

He'd often see you in the music rooms, practising your guitar with some pokémon out, happily jamming along.

Over time, you befriend him, [he's still a bit introverted, so you took your time to make sure he's comfortable].

You began sitting next to him during your breaks - he invited you over after all,

If you asked him, he found it interesting to see how you were the complete opposite of what people say you are,

You just had strong opinions, and you'd never hide them in fear of standing out.

He admired that.

Over time, the two of you began to get closer, and then began dating.

He confessed to you by giving you an Applin.

Believe me, he tried to find a shiny one to match your shiny Toxtricity, and he came out empty handed.

Kieran was rather keen on keeping the relationship private, he didn't want Carmine to find out and yell at him for it.

So the two kept a low profile,

Whenever Kieran sees something related to punk, he'd always get it for you, even if he doesn't know what it means.

He probably got you a few things related to rebellion without knowing,

He loves hanging out at your dorm, he isn't worried or stressed about Carmine barging in and demanding something from him.

10/10 Kieran seems like the type of person who would love to have a blanket over the two of you and put on a movie, or have a walk in the park at night.

Kieran also seems like the type of person to ask about Punk history and anything related to the movement,

Searching everything up online is an option, but is it really the best option?

He wants to know more about you and what the movement means to you, not what some random person on the internet says.

Kieran probably got you or your Toxtricity a Punk themed jacket because he thought they looked cool and matched your aesthetic.

10/10 gets you random Punk stickers (He probably doesn't know what half of them mean, but they suit your aesthetic - hopefully.)

[writing-with-yours-truly]

"You Said You Don't Dance." Lars Pinfield [Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire] x Reader

Warnings: Swearing?

Additional information: Inspired lightly, Pheobe is head cannoned to wear a tux (she'd slay one fr)

Requested by: @centracks (lysm)

Tonight is the night of a big gala hosted by none other than Mayor Peck himself. After the whole saving the world thing, Peck was pretty much forced to like the Ghostbusters or face a loss in the next mayoral election.

Unfortunatley, you're being made to go to this gala, against your wishes.

-

You're sitting at your bench, fixing up a random gadget you found lying around when Winston, your boss, approached you.

"You are invited to the annual New York Mayoral Gala," He said. You looked up. "Why?"

"Well, Mayor Peck invited us since we had saved the city. The world, in fact."

"He was the one who wanted us to be shut down. Why would we go?" You asked. You thought it was messed up, using the Ghostbusters as if they were pawns in a political game.

"Mayor Peck made an agreement on if we went to this gala, we would be allowed to run operations normally in New York."

You thought for a moment before giving a response. "I guess that's smart."

"Well, the gala is on Friday night, so you will have the night completely off." Winston reaches into his pocket. When he pulls his hand back out, he has a ticket in his hand. He handed it to you. "That is your gala ticket. You will use it to get in."

He begins to make his way out, before turning around to face you one last time. "Dress formal. This is a gala, after all!"

-

You had your phone on your desk, playing music as you finish getting ready for the gala. You had your hair neatly up in an updo, as you wore a black sleeveless dress with a thigh high slit on the side. (feel free to change this if you would like <3)

You finished your makeup, which was a simple yet elegant look, and made your way out the door after a final look in the mirror.

You looked at how the dress defined your curves, smiling because the dress made you feel beautiful. You began to wonder if Lars was going to go.

Lars was a keep-to-himself person and you'd be surprised if he even listened to Winston. Only time would tell if he'd be there.

-

You got out of your car after parking. You looked at your reflection in your car window and made any final touch ups to your hair. Cautiously, you made your way to the entrance of the gala. Many famous people were shuffling into the gala. This really was a high expectation event.

Eventually, it was your turn to show your ticket. Once the ticket master read the name on the ticket, he gave you a weird look. Your eyebrows furrowed. "Enjoy the gala, ma'am," he said dryly, shoving the ticket back into your open hand. You shook your head plainly as you walked down the hall into the ballroom.

It looked amazing. There were string lights hung up to the center of the room, outstretching to each corner. They illuminated the room dimly, reflecting slightly off of the freshly waxed wood floor. Tables with dark blue cloth were placed neatly besides in front of the stage to make space for dancing -which people were already doing-. You smiled as you looked around, already spotting Phoebe in a fancy tuxedo in the back of the room.

You pushed through people to make your way towards Phoebe, waving to her. She stopped her conversation with Lucky -who looked equally beautiful-, and waved back. You reached the two and gave them individual hugs. "You both look amazing!" The swarm of compliments they gave to you in response was almost overwhelming. "So," Phoebe started. "Have you seen him yet?"

Your cheeks immediately flushed red. "No, I haven't. Have you?"

"He was just in here a few minutes ago. Saw him walking over to the drinks," Lucky answered. "You should go see him."

Phoebe added, "He'd love that."

"Oh, stop guys."

After a few minutes of convincing, you made your way towards the drinks by yourself. You noticed a figure standing over there alone with a drink in his hand. If that was Lars, by God he looked amazing.

Once you got closer, you came to the conclusion it was Lars. "Why aren't you out there?" You asked him, causing him to jump slightly.

Once he realized it was you, he exhaled. "I don't dance."

"Didn't think so," You responded jokingly. "Don't take you as the dancin' type."

"Why? Too uptight?" He asked between gritted teeth.

You hesitated to respond. "No offence and all, but yeah."

"None taken. You're nicer about it than Trevor and Lucky." He answered.

The two of you stood in silence before noticing Mayor Peck. "Oh look, it's Dickless." You grumbled.

Lars called your name as if to tell you not to call him that. "What? He's so full of himself it's not even funny."

You proceed to take a sip of your wine, rolling your eyes as he walked past the Golden Trio -Ray, Peter, and Winston- without so much as a hand shake. The three look amongst eachother as if they were thinking the same thing. What a selfish prick.

Peck made his way on stage. Once everyone settled down, he began his speech.

"Welcome to the 112th annual Mayoral Gala! I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for making time to come to this event."

"More like Winston made time for us to come-" Lars cupped a hand over your mouth to shut you up.

"I also want to extend a heartfelt welcome to the Ghostbusters. Thank you for saving New York from that terrible monster."

Peck said Ghostbusters as if it was a disease no one wanted to catch. You moved Lars' hand off of your face -his hand was very warm- to show your face of disbelief. You looked at Lars, who had a similar look on his face.

As the mayor finished his speech, Lars leaned over to your ear and you swore your temperature rose at least three degrees. "Are you meaning to have my hand in your grasp?" He asked in a hushed tone.

You immediatley dropped it, rushing an apology. "No, no. It's fine. Your hand was kind of...warm." You laughed quietly in response.

"Lars Pinfield, are you attempting to flirt with me?" You joked. He didn't respond, but the ghost of a smile appeared on his pale face. "Take me to dinner first, jeez." You added.

The mayor stepped off the stage, applause following. You, Lars, and presumely the rest of GhostCorps, did not join the applause.

The music resumed, and the two of you started chatting. About work, anything really.

In the middle of a conversation about the Possessor, "Enchanted" by Taylor Swift started to play.

Couples began to step onto the center of the dance floor to slow dance.

You watched on in awe, wishing that was you, and Lars was the one slow dancing with you.

You didn't even realize his hand was extended out until he cleared his throat. You looked at his hand as if you couldn't believe your eyes. "You said you don't dance," You said.

"Well, I saw how you were looking at them dancing, so I thought I'd make an exception. Just this once."

You resisted the urge to squeal like a little girl and kick your feet.

You then took his hand and he led you to the dance floor. "Confession. I've never danced before," You said to him as the two of you stood across from eachother.

"Neither have I," He replied, an eyebrow raised in amusement. His glasses slid a little bit down his nose and you resisted the urge to fix them. God, he was so cute.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, and he wrapped his around your waist. The two of you swayed back in forth, Lars occasionally adjusting his hold on your hips. "So, what made you have an exception for me?" You asked him, turning your head to the left to see Phoebe motioning you to move closer, and you did so, adjusting how your hands rested around his neck. He didn't seem to mind.

"I just saw the sparkle in your eyes. You wanted to dance and I could tell. Maybe not with me, but--"

"Lars, I've wanted a dance with you for a long time." You interrupted. "Trust me, I've dreamt about this, believe it or not."

"Well, that's flattering," he replied. "And I'm glad you feel that way. Honestly, I have, too."

"Really?"

"Of course. Who couldn't love you?"

She laughed lightly.

"I'm not kidding. You're amazing, you're smart, you're beautiful--"

You pressed a kiss on his cheek to shut him up. When you pulled back, his face was furiously red.

"And you are, too." You grinned.

His eyes trailed down to your lips and back to your eyes, lips parted slightly. You inched closer, eyes shutting slightly. Eventually, Lars filled the gap, lips meeting yours.

Your lips moved in sync as the two of you relished the moment.

Eventually the two of you pulled back, looking into each other's eyes.

"Wow, Pinfield. I could get used to that."

[forwoonnagi]

Heartbreak girl

Trope: friends to lovers

Pairing: Taesan x reader

Synopsis: Taesan’s tired of seeing y/n crying due to her stupid boyfriend. He's also tired of being just y/n’s “best friend”, he wanted to be more.

Author's note: inspired by the song “Heartbreak girl - 5 seconds of summer".Haven't written in so long so bare with me yall HAHAH <33

warnings: bad grammar </3 

 “You call me up

   It's like a broken record

   Saying that your heart hurts

   That you'll never get over him getting over you “

It was 10:54 pm and Taesan was just in his room listening to “I don't love you” by MCR. It was quiet in Taesans room. It wasn't unusual but it was too quiet..He missed the sound of her laugh..her voice..her in general. That girl was his best friend, Y/n L/n. His friends would tell him to make a move but he couldn't. Especially since she had a boyfriend. He let his mind wander randomly till it was interrupted by a vibrating sound that stopped his music.

“Y/nie calling..”   

Taesan would usually ignore calls and messages but Y/n was an exception. He sat properly and cleared his throat before answering. He felt nervous..was it because he was just thinking about her few minutes ago?

“y/n?”

“Taesan..we fought again.”

Taesan never liked Y/n's boyfriend. Not because he was taking Y/n from him but because he was a jerk. He would break up with Y/n then get into a new relationship then after a month or so he would go back crawling to Y/n. The problem was, Y/n always goes back to him..

“What happened..are you okay?”

“He said I was being obsessive because I wanted to be with him..He said he was hanging out with Maya later..”

“Then I found out they were going out on a date..again.”

“Y/n..I told you to stop going back to him..You guys always fight then break up then get back together..aren't you sick of him?”

Taesan’s heart clenched as he can hear Y/n crying through the phone.

“And you end up crying

And I end up lying

'Cause I'm just a sucker for anything that you do”

“Try not going back to him Y/nie..Just this time please..”

It was quiet for a while. Which felt like an hour to Taesan.

“Uhm..When's your band performing again?”

Right..Taesan had a performance this friday.. Taesan loves music. He played,listened,made,danced to music. It's like Taesan can't function without it.

“Uh, this Friday, Why?”

“Can I be your date for it?..Justin was supposed to be my date but he canceled at the last minute and is taking Maya instead..”

Every year we have festival day. Where all students go to school on a Saturday and go to the festival where clubs have small booths where you can sign up or try. Then every night there would be performances like dance shows, theater, musicals and bands. This year Taesans band was lucky enough to be one of the students performing. The seniors had to bring a date to the night show. Where there would be   photobooths, stargazing, confession walls and kissing booths. 

“Hello? Taesan, are you there?”

Taesan was zoned out. He was shocked that Y/n..His Y/n.. was asking him to be her date to the night show. That was his chance to win her. To show her that he's better.

“Uh yeah sure. I'll pick you up at 4:40pm?”

“Okay! Can I watch you practice tomorrow? Or is it a secret~”

“Sure you can watch. We're gonna practice after classes till like 6. Is that okay?”

“Yup! Good night, Taesanie! See you” 

Omg.. Taesans' world was suddenly coming together..

Authors note: SO THIS IS VERY SHORT BUT ILL MAKE PT2 HOPEFULLY THIS WEEK <33

[intersex-support]

hello! i newly figured out i am intersex, however i haven't been able to find much content talking about intersex experience, history or community, when i first realized i was queer originally i found a lot of content like that and found it helpful, and i was wondering if there's any recommendations you might be willing to give about any content on being intersex or intersex creators who you think people should know about!

Hey!

This ask honestly made me really happy, because when I was searching for people and resources to share with you, I realized how much stuff has been created in the past 5 years. When I was diagnosed as intersex, I felt like there was so much less stuff than there even is now, so it makes me really happy to know there is more stuff, even if it's still hard to find.

Some of the things I've put on this list are outdated or might include perspectives that I don't completely love, but might include important historical context. It is also a very US centric and English language centric resource, although I have linked to organizations in other countries and would love if people added on recommendations to intersex resources in a variety of languages. As always, take what resonates with you and leave behind the rest!

Books:

Cripping Intersex by Celeste E Orr

Bodies in Doubt: An American History of Intersex by Elizabeth Reis

XOXY: A Memoir by Kimberly Zieselman

Intersex (For Lack of a Better Word) by Thea Hillman

In September, Alicia Weigel is releasing her memoir Inverse Cowgirl.

In August, Pidgeon Pagonis is releasing their memoir, Nobody Needs to Know.

Fiction books:

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon

Intersex #ownvoices books, collated by Bogi Takács

Films:

Every Body directed by Julie Cohen is in theaters right now, and will eventually be on streaming services.

Ponyboi directed by River Gallo

Intersexion directed by Grant Lahood

Articles + misc:

Hermaphrodites with Attitude newsletter-content note for h slur and some other outdated language. Very important history though <3

Jazz Legend Little Jimmy Scott Is a Cornerstone of Black Intersex History by Sean Saifa Wall

What it's like to be a Black intersex woman by Tatenda Ngwaru

9 Young People on How They Found Out They Are Intersex by Hans Lindhal

Teen Vogue's series of intersex interviews

After years of protest, a top hospital ended intersex surgeries. For activists, it took a deep toll by Kate Sosin

Intersex Awareness Day: A Demonstration that Inspired a Movement

Normalizing intersex: Narrative Inquiry in Bioethics

Music-Ana Roxanne

Youth&I-intersex youth zine

Juliana Huxtable-Visual Art

Youtube channels:

Emilord-videos about AIS and surgery.

Jubilee Intersex video

Hans Lindhal-videos on a wide variety of intersex topics.

What's It Like To Be Intersex? | Minutes With | UNILAD

What It's Like To Be Intersex As/Is

Pass the Mic: Intercepting Injustice with Sean Saifa Wall

Intersex Organizations:

Link to org list

People/orgs to follow:

Sean Saifa Wall

Alicia Weigel

River Gallo

Hans Lindhal

Fàájì/funk

Jahni

Justin Tsang

Intersex Awareness (fabulous direct action organizing in the US-keep an eye out cause we're gonna do more this year!)

Liat Feller

Jubilee

Crystal Hendricks

Mari Wrobi

Intersex people, please feel free to add on more resources, art, writing, and people that you like!!

[stars4noah]

HALLEY'S COMET- three.

{WARNINGS}: swearing, drinking, allusions to depression, reader and noah making up yayyyy 🥳🥳

w.c- 2,898

a.n- if you guys couldn't tell by now, this story has kinda turned from being inspired by only halley's comet to being inspired by the entire album! go listen to happier than ever by billie eilish. the album. not the song.

enjoy! <3

{TAGLIST}: @lacy1986 @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @chey-h @rumoured-whispers @oobleoob

if you would like to be added to the taglist, please comment!

i haven't slept since sunday. midnight for me is three a.m. for you.

three more weeks passed since everything happened. the next day, noah tried to come back. i told him to stay away. forever. i promised him that i would be just fine without him, that i didn't need him to prove to me that he was something he didn't want to be. because i was so convinced he didn't want to be better. he just wanted his photographer back.

i started working at a local coffee shop, the spark in my eyes that was once consistent now gone. i didn't have that kind voice that everyone grew to love. i didn't put any effort into my appearance. i just threw my hair into a ponytail and moved on.

a lot of the time, i was glad i lived alone. i could fall back into old habits without being scolded. like drinking, for example. it was the only way i knew how to handle my feelings. which wasn't working very well.

but you're all it takes for me to break a promise.

i knew the next time i saw his face i would break. i would run back. i would stay. spending years with somebody who you're secretly in love with will do that to a person. so i made it my goal to purposefully ignore him.

every time i would go home, i would scroll mindlessly on my phone. i found out that noah canceled the rest of the tour. mental health reasons, or whatever. i rolled my eyes, turning off my phone and cracking open yet another bottle of liquor, feeling the familiar burn go down my throat that i've grown accustomed to. i walked around my apartment mindlessly, humming some unfamiliar tune to myself.

these past few weeks, music has been my number one savior. aside from alcohol.

NOAH'S POV.

these weeks without her proved to be difficult. having fallen into a depression after alyssa and i broke up, [y/n] leaving only made it worse. i sat in my room, staring at the door. sometimes i would pray that she would walk through. surprise me and say it was all just a cruel prank.

countless bottles of hennessy sat in front of my bed. that was all i had been doing. drinking and working out and writing to ease away the pain.

"but nevertheless, i'm fucking depressed. i hide it with sex, and drink till it's fatal." i murmured to myself, taking another sip from the bottle before letting it clatter to the ground, snatching my pen and paper from my desk.

when i went through things like this, i always liked to write down my thoughts. some of those thoughts ended up in songs. and since we were in the middle of writing a new album, this was perfect.

there was a knock at the door and i grumbled a greeting, my eyes never leaving the paper. a couple seconds later, jolly walked in.

"christ, man, you look like hell."

i hummed, continuing to write as he sat in front of me.

"look, i know you're struggling. because of-"

i knew exactly who he was talking about. i didn't want to hear her name. she hurt me enough. "don't say her name."

jolly sighed. "because of her. but dude, we're worried. you know none of it was your fault, right? she was stupid to do that to you."

i scoffed. "she said it herself, jolly. 'he's richer, hotter, and bigger'" i scowled, repeating her words that she had said to me that night. some part of me regretted walking out of that door. i loved her. for years. and i had grown used to loving her. she was all that i had. she was what made me what i am. she was right, really. i would be nothing without her.

"you're doing it again." he said. at this point, i had stopped writing, staring off into space. "doing what?"

"that thing you do when you get all into your head. blaming yourself for everything. how many times do i have to tell you it's not your fault for you to get it in your head, man?" he said, sternly but gently.

i rolled my eyes. "you're wrong."

"how?"

"because i loved her, jolly. i fucking loved her, and i screwed it all up because i can never do anything right. i'll never be good enough. for myself, or anybody."

i buried my face in my hands, sobs racking my body once more. i never liked to be this vulnerable with anybody, even my closest friends. but honestly? i didn't give a fuck anymore. let them see.

"i know man. i know." he said, rubbing his hand over my back in an attempt to sooth me.

it pained jolly to see me like this. i knew that. but it was better to tell people of my thoughts than to keep it bottled up inside, right?

READERS POV.

i was making that damn song all the way till the early morning. i didn't even realize how late it had gotten until i woke up to my alarm. i had fallen asleep at my desk, my computer still running and everything. i didn't have work today, so that left me plenty of time to do whatever the hell i wanted.

months passed. months without seeing or talking to him. i would occasionally text the others, but i wouldn't dare send him a single text. i caught up a bit with folio and jolly, telling them about my ongoing journey with music. i still pursued photography as a side hustle, but my main focus was getting this song perfect.

it was almost done. almost ready to be released. maybe as an album? no, i can't get too carried away. music isn't for me. but as i listened to the song and made sure everything was right, my feelings began to change.

"i don't want it, and i don't want to want you. but in my dreams, i seem to be more honest. and i must admit, you've been in quite a few."

it wasn't a lie. he had began to show up more often in my dreams. not as nightmares, but as something that we could've been.

"Halley's Comet comes around more than i do. but you're all it takes for me to break a promise. silly me to fall in love with you."

that promise. that stupid promise.

"[y/n], please. let me explain-"

"no, noah! i don't care about your shitty explanations and your shitty behavior and your stupid face! i promise, i'll be just fine without you. leave me alone!"

"i haven't slept since sunday. mdnight for me is 3:00 a.m. for you. but my sleepless nights are better with you than nights could ever be alone, ooh-ooh-ooh. i was good at feeling nothing, now i'm hopeless. what a drag to love you like i do, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh."

it wasn't entirely a lie. when i imagined him in the bed next to me, it felt like i could sleep better. when i pretended everything was okay, everything felt lighter. the weight on my shoulders seemed to momentarily disappear, only to crash back down when i realized it was all just a fantasy.

"ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh. i've been loved before, but right now in this moment i feel more and more like i was made for you. for you. i'm sitting in my brother's room. haven't slept in a week or two, or two. i think i might have fallen in love. what am i to do?"

as the song ended, i found myself picking up my phone, going to his contact. i laughed softly to myself as i saw the contact. it was still the same. when everything was nice. when i wasn't all alone. i decided to jump the gun, shooting him a text.

i breathed out a sigh of relief. maybe he didn't hate me as much as i thought. i immediately thought back to the time i took it. when things were better. happier.

"come on! put it on!" i laughed, holding out the little plastic tiara to him. we had gone to disney world for a summer vacation, and i won a tiara from one of the game booths.

"i'm not putting that on." he said, his arms folded across his chest.

i pouted, looking up at him with those puppy dog eyes i knew he couldn't resist until he groaned, snatching the tiara from my hands and putting it on his head. despite his previously grumpy demeanor, he still wore a smile when i took the pictures.

i missed that.

the moment i saw him walk through those doors, it was like everything hit me all at once. he looked terrible. i did too, but definitely better in comparison.

"hi." i said softly.

"hi." he said back, sitting down in front of me with his hands in the pockets of his sweats.

i bit my lip as we sat in an awkward silence for a moment before i spoke.

"noah, i-"

"[y/n]-"

i couldn't help but smile softly as we spoke at the same time.

"you first." he said.

i took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself. "i know you've been through a lot, noah. and i should've taken that into consideration when i said all that shit. honestly, i haven't been doing too well myself, if you couldn't tell." i said, gesturing to myself.

"it sounds stupid as fuck, but it feels like theres this void in my chest that's just been so empty since i left. i miss you guys. i miss the band." i said.

he sensed there was something more. "but...?"

"but," i began. "i can't come back as the photographer. after i've recovered somewhat from everything, i realized photography isn't for me. i was to pursue something bigger."

"like?"

"music."

he raised his eyebrows. "you want to become a musician?"

"i know, it sounds absurd and like a child's dream, but i really think-"

"no, [y/n] that's fucking amazing." he said with a small laugh, leaning forward. i smiled slightly. there was that smile i missed.

"yeah?"

"yeah. i mean, i've only heard you sing a handful of times, but you're great. you're gonna make it big, trust me." he said.

my heart warmed at his words. "thank you." i said.

"look, [y/n], i'll be the first to admit how much of a douche i was to you. i've had time to think about it. to get over it and stop wallowing in self-pity. and i'm really sorry. i'm kinda shocked you didn't quit sooner, honestly. but, if you'd like, we could start fresh. you don't have to come back to the band, but we can hang out and shit. maybe i can help you with your music."

his words only made my smile brighten. "yeah, i'd like that. a lot. thank you."

"of course, princess."

after our little friend date, we went to his studio to work on some things. he showed me how different things worked and helped me on writing a song that i had been thinking about.

i bit my lip, jotting down a few lyrics in my notebook as he watched.

i don't really wanna know why you went there. i kinda don't care. you want to kill me? you want to hurt me? stop being flirty. it's kinda working.

i hummed a soft tune to myself as i read the lyrics, trying to figure out what would work right.

did you really think this is the right thing to do? is it news? news to who? that i really looked just like the rest of you.

noah snapped me out of my continuous thoughts, turning back to the computer. "i've been working on stuff, too." he said.

"yeah?"

he hummed in response, pulling up a file full of different songs. "pick one." he said, leaning back.

i bit my lip in thought before clicking on the one titled The Grey.

"evened the scores, then i let it all go fall apart. and every step forward put a little more sword in your heart, yeah. looking sideways when i say i'm okay with the past. but i'm afraid of what i might say if you ask."

i leaned back in my chair as i listened to the lyrics, knowing that this song could be about one of two people. me, or alyssa.

"gave you way too many chances, you ran through them all. got everything i could want but it wasn't enough. nobody left for me to talk to, nobody to call. got everything i could want but i still wanted more. yeah, i still wanted more."

the pure emotion in his voice was enough to make my heart break into pieces and clarify who it was about. i knew after what happened with her, he was broken. and this song was only proof.

"there's not another way, don't let me go. don't dig another grave today. i'll make the same mistakes, i'll never know who i was before i faded away into the grey."

the recording stopped, and my eyes darted from the screen to his face. "that's all i have right now." he said. "we have more sessions later this week to finish it."

i gulped. "noah..."

he looked at me and raised a brow. "what?"

"that was fucking beautiful."

i almost felt like i was going to cry. i always loved his voice, but that was on a whole other level. usually he was screaming. he never had those soft vocals like what i just heard.

he smiled softly. "thanks. now get in there."

i blinked, shaking my head. "sorry, what?"

"go on. get in the booth. i want to hear you sing this. we can figure something out."

"noah, i-" "don't argue. go."

i sighed, getting up and heading into the recording booth. maybe it would be okay. i wouldn't fuck it up. i put on the headphones, looking back up at him through the glass. "which one?" i asked.

he hummed, looking through the notebook i had left on the desk.

"what about my future? start it off strong."

i nodded, mentally preparing myself for whatever the hell was about to happen.

"i can't seem to focus, and you don't seem to notice i'm not here. i'm just a mirror. you check your complexion to find your reflection's all alone. i had to go. can't you hear me? i'm not coming home. do you understand? i've changed my plans. cause i, i'm in love with my future. and i, i'm in love. but not with anybody else. just wanna get to know myself."

it really was a beautiful song. and it was me putting all of my feelings on the line. the lyrics didn't have a deeper meaning to them like noah's often did. their meaning was just laid flat out. i changed my plans for the future, and i'm waiting to sort things out with myself before falling in love again.

"i know supposedly i'm lonely now. know i'm supposed to be unhappy without someone. but aren't i someone? i'd like to be your answer. cause you're so handsome. but i know better than to drive you home. cause you'd invite me in, and i'd be yours again."

the lyrics seemed to flow freely as i sang, my eyes closed and hands moving in random directions. i didn't even notice him staring.

"but i, i'm in love. with my future. and you don't know her, mm. and i, i'm in love. but not with anybody here. i'll see you in a couple years."

i opened my eyes and looked at noah, noticing how his mouth was slightly open. i laughed. "don't start drooling."

he shook himself out of his thoughts. "sorry, that was just. really fucking good. you're a natural, princess. i'm jealous." he said.

i rolled my eyes, stepping out of the booth.

"great, now let's work out a tune."

we spent hours and hours fixing up the song, getting carried away in our musical abilities. last time i checked, it was around 2 am. i didn't want to go home, so i suggested we took a little break and watched a movie or something. he nodded and we sat on the couch, turning on the tv (of course he turned on naruto). my head ended up lulling to the side, landing on his shoulder as i slowly fell asleep. the last thing my brain registered before falling into dreamland was the soft kiss on my forehead and his soft words.

"goodnight, princess."

his lips against mine felt like heaven. it felt like my whole life was complete when i kissed him, when i felt him. he felt like home. something i hadn't known in a long time. i pulled away, breathing slightly heavy as i looked into his chocolate brown eyes.

"noah.." i whispered.

he smiled softly and hummed.

"i fucking love you."

"mm.. [y/n]." he mumbled against my lips.

"princess."

"[Y/N]!"

[comicaurora]

Hello! I wanted to send my appreciation to you as a longtime fan of OSP and Auroura! I am an English Major with ADHD and your content always makes me inspired and my English Lit. Brain very happy with how good your storytelling is.

My question is what stories inspire you to write or make you want to sit down and tell a story? Your content makes me want to work on my projects, but my Adhd only last as long as I am not disturbed (i.e. need to eat or get up and move). You have always been upfront about your Adhd so my second question is how do you keep focused on your story and not burn out? (Talking as someone who is writing a novel as their thesis)

You have been a great inspiration over the years and someone I look up to as a storyteller! I wish you focus and luck! => 💝

Woo! Interesting questions!

When it comes to inspiration, I haven't really found a pattern for what works and what doesn't. The majority of the time, only new experiences/stories I haven't seen or read before work for me - rewatches and re-reads, while much more comfortable for my brain, don't tend to translate into creative inspiration for me - but it's not like a specific genre, or even a specific kind of relaxation, consistently work for me.

The way my brain works is a bit "no take only throw", as it were. I want to just sit down and make solid, steady progress in a predictable environment with a routine, but what I need is to try new things, go outside, take risks - because all those things give me new material to work with and refill the creative gas tank. When I'm stuck, I can't just hit the gas and punch through the block - I need to back up and try a new angle.

The good part of all this is that whatever engine that's running my subconscious is actually pretty good at signaling what it needs. The ADHD brain will be repelled by activities that aren't working for it and drawn to the things it needs at the time, whether that's creative energy or exercise or cleaning or doodling or listening to music or suddenly binge-watching a show that's not even all that great, and once it's got what it needs out of it - whatever that is - it'll be repelled again, either spitting out a sudden burst of creative energy or retreating to its den to chew on whatever it got out of the experience for a more slow-building reward. Little bursts of motivation and creativity pop up all throughout the day, and if you can pivot to the activity in question - or at least note down the idea you just had - you'll be able to harness that pretty nicely.

This "system" really only works for me because I have an extremely unstructured schedule and nobody relying on me to be consistent moment-to-moment. If I'm following the creative needs of my inscrutable Better Writer In The Back Of My Head, I can't be worrying about things like a consistent lunchtime or classes or a 9-to-5. All of my observations are caveat'd by the fact that I am ridiculously lucky to have the kind of freedom of movement and schedule that I can focus entirely on getting to know my brain better.

When it comes to staying focused on any one project, I've reluctantly concluded that the only way to win is not to play. Creativity needs time and diversity to recharge, and when you stall out in any given work session, it's usually because you're out of gas. This is why I maintain several projects in varying stages of "for my eyes only"-ness - a sketchbook, private writing projects, patreon doodles, music practice; even in the large-scale projects like the channel and the comic I have multiple angles of attack at any given time, where I can as needed switch between scripting, research, drawing frames, storyboarding more plot onto the end of the comic's current draft and lining/coloring/background-ing the finalized pages of the comic chapters earlier. This lets me maintain semi-steady progress on average, even if any one facet of the process is left by the wayside for potentially even weeks at a time.

If you're working on one writing project, one novel, I'd recommend giving yourself some time to do small-scale side-hobbies. It won't feel like they're helping, but they are.

I've started to think of inspiration rather similarly to the way I think about nutrition and digestion. It's a somewhat arcane process that, despite being a part of me, I don't exactly understand what's going on under the hood. If you eat only one thing, no matter what that one thing is, you're going to end up sick because you're lacking all sorts of niche micronutrients. If you parcel out a specific space of the only things you're allowed to eat, you might not get sick (as quickly) but you're likely going to become increasingly miserable as you think of the things you're not allowing yourself to try, or slowly build up highly specific forms of malnourishment by avoiding certain things entirely. But if you start listening to your body and try eating what it says it needs at any given time - oh, I could go for a rice bowl right now, oh I don't think I'm feeling something sugary today, man I could really go for some grapes - you're likely to hit a broadly good balance of health because you're hitting a broad range of things your body needs, even if you don't know all of their names or calorie counts, and your body is putting those resources to good use without your conscious input. Between my brain and my stomach, I only trust one of those to actually understand what a stomach needs to do its thing - and between me and my creative brain, most of the time it feels like I just work here.

I hope there was something helpful in all this!

[fictional-idol-tournament]

Propaganda below the cut:

Minori Hanasato

- just look at her. that's it that's my propaganda

- SHE IS A GIRLFLOP WHO NEVER BACKED DOWN AND NEVER GAVE UP SHE IS AMAZING SILLY AND MASSIVE LESBIAN SIMP FIGHT ON FIGHT ON MINORIII!!!

- SHE BECAME AN IDOL BECAUSE SHE WAS GAY FOR THIS IDOL SHE LIKES AND SHE GREW SO MUCH SINCE SHE STARTED WE'RE SO PROUD OF HER!! MINORININ!!!

- good music, great singer, ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE, trying to spread hope, shes GAY? what more could you ask for?????

- I LOVE HER SOSOSOSOSOMUCH SHE FAILED 51 AUDITIONS AND BECAME FRIENDS WITH 3 OTHER RETIRED IDOLS AND INSPIRED THEM TO BE IDOLS AGAIN AND SHES SO CRIBGEFAIL AND SILLY AND SHE GROWS SO MUCH FROM RUE BEGINNING ITS SO SATISFYING TTO WATCH,,, AnD the story sort of touches on toxic idol business and whatnot SO it's actually pretty cool with that :o I love her so mucg

- Failed auditions dozens of times but still kept trying and ended up forming an idol group alongside the idol she looked up to while also inspiring that idol to keep going

- She's driven by so much determination to fulfill her childhood dream of becoming an idol despite having failed 51 auditions. She meets her childhood idol and two other idols, all three of them had given up on their dreams but she returned their hope back to them!! They then formed a unit called MORE MORE JUMP! with a goal to spread hope to everyone. Minori's literally such a sweetheart and she tries her hardest to keep up w/ everyone else and she's so!! I love her v much

- SHES SO SWEET SHE JUST WANTS TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY AND BRING HOPE TO EVERYONE!!! SHE WORKS SO HARD TO LAKE HER DREAMS COME TURE SHE IS BEST GIRL

- She gets so much undeserved hate for being "boring" but as one of Minori's biggest fan I will prove them all wrong. She managed to realize her dream of becoming an idol by meeting her favorite idol after she gave up on being one. And THEN convinced her and two others to become an idol again by herself becoming one, therefore realizing her biggest wish by the side of the people who inspired her. I'm so proud of my cringe fail daughter you have no idea<- normalest Minori fan

- If you don't vote for her I will find you. She is so pathetic I love her.

- She's the literal definition of an idol. Angel of hope

- SHE LOVES BEING AN IDOL IDOLS ARE THE REASON SHES NOT DEPRESSED SHES DRAGGED 3 RETIRED IDOLS OUT OF RETIREMENT WITH THE FORCE OF HER IDOL LOVE

- Okay so I haven't read all more more jump stories yet, but, minori basically brings hope wherever she goes. The other members of her group were going to quit being an idol forever (even though they loved being idols), until they met her and she made them realize their true feelings! And she's also like really gay Haruka wished her happy birthday and she fainted once. She's also just cute and a delight to have on screen and really good at singing!!! Also she's actually friends with all the cryptonloids so that's pretty neat

- I love Minori! She's so persistent in becoming an idol, doesn't give up, she's a lesbian, really inspiring and she's so great!

- She is the idol girl that inspired 3 other girls to return to being idol girls

- OMG SHES SO FUCKING SILLY CJWJCJSHCDJ THE SILLY EVER TO EVER SILLY

- Bestie tries so hard. She wanted to be an idole so much and she kept failing and being rejected and finaly she found others who believe in her and helps her become one. She's adorable. She deserve everything in the world

- She’s CUTE, she’s CRINGEFAIL, and she’s CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED, vote Minori! MINORINRIN!

- she is silly, she never back down never give up, she is orange aka best colour, and lesbian.

- SHES FOLLOWING HER DREAMS

- Just look at her, she's beautiful.

- Besides that, Minori is a sweet high school girl who loves idols and puts lots of efforts to become one, because her most important goal is to spread hope and happiness to her fans. Her group is formed by 3 professional idols who lost hope in their dreams until Minori came into their lives and reminded them why they wished to be idols in the first place.

- She is literally the sweetest little cinnamon roll ever who loves idols and kept trying so so hard even when she failed many auditions,,, she brings 3 professional ex-idols together again and helps her own idol overcome past trauma and despite facing criticism from her groups fans who didnt understand why she was in a group with famous idols when she wasnt one herself she kept going to bring hope to one fan that she knew she had! She is sooo silly and goofy and kind and funny, I love Minori pls vote for her (*´ ˘ `*)

- She's so sweet and cute and deserves the world. She's so kind to everyone and is basically the sun.

- i am her #1 fan and i say that shes trying her best pls let her win shes my skrunkly skrimblo

- minorin hehe shes really cute and always positive and never gives up even when shes seen as a newbie she still gives it her all and she finially reached her dream of being an idol sdgghdsaadffgg

- Minori's entire narrative centers around her not only wanting to become an idol, but inspiring three other girls to continue their pursuing their idolhood dreams and bringing hope back to them after their own individual struggles in the industry! She's a character about hope and perseverance at her core, and she wants to inspire people in her pursuits! She failed over 50 auditions and has a historically long string of bad luck that would even go so far to drive her classmates away from her but she never once gave up on her dream! Plus, she's incredibly cute and her specialty includes coming up with catchphrases.

Rise Kujikawa

- Rise!! Top nation idol who lost sight of what really made her happy and then regaining it from the support from her friends!! Realizing how much she loves her fans and how much she loves performing!! And how important it is for her to accept all parts of her as herself!! She's so great <3

- Best Persona navigator and best girl, the famous Risette!

- As her agency's representative put it, she has that spark. She learns fast, adapts well to new situations, has that smile that could be as strong or weak as she needed, and has the acting skills of an old pro.

[hashekyu]

[ PT. 1 ] — CLEARING OUT MY DRAFTS !

NOTE: dont have any plans of finishing this !! sorry :<

WANDERER hadn't felt this way in what seemed like forever. His fingertips all familiar with the feeling of clicking on his keyboard, ears never tiring of the noises of typing away, eyes glued to the letters imprinting themselves on the clean sheet of paper. He was almost nostalgic with the feeling of motivation, inspiration. There was a period in his life where this hobby felt like a chore, a chain cold against his wrist and tugging him to his downfall. Sweeping crumpled paper under his bed, his once creative mind failing to generate ideas he used to have in class as he zoned out, staring at the whiteboard. But there was something about you that brought him back to life.

I hadn't noticed you at first, I never really wanted to. his keyboard was noisy, but nonetheless, was music to is ears.

The day we worked on a project as a pair our teachers chose. I found it irritating, honestly, to be paired up with such a no one, someone who wasn't even recognized in the classroom. A loner and a stupid loser was my first impression of you.

"You have a poster of this singer!?" you gasped immediately as you pushed the door to his room open, tracing your fingers over the material of the poster stuck to the wall. "I love his songs!" you smiled at him, but he just stared at you blankly. You looked back at his stuff, picking up one of the items on his drawer. He slapped your wrist, making you drop it and yelp. "Don't touch my stuff." he huffed, turning away and pulling his headphones over his ears. You rubbed your arm, muttering an apology.

You always apologized, it made me so annoyed.

Your eyes caught on something under his bedframe and tugged on it, uncrumpling the paper as he busied himself in the piles and piles of work he had printed for the project, until he looked up and saw you reading.

"This is so good, 'Derer," you said, gesturing to the paper you held. "Why did you throw it away?"

his face flushed in embarrassment. "Give me that! haven't I told you to stop snooping around?" he grabbed it, but you recoiled back, clutching the other half of the paper. It ripped midway as he pulled it with more force. "Oh, I'm so sorry," you cried, scrambling to find tape. he sighed, crumpling the paper and tossing it over his shoulder "Never mind it."

he saw you sink in guilt, and for a split moment he almost wanted to reassure you that it was completely fine, but remembered the main reason you were sulking was because you had gone poking your nose around his business.

[mikaroji]

KNY music headcannons - modern AU

this was 100% inspired by @peachdies, because radiohead and giyuu go together a little to well

━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━

❀ Himejima Gyomei - IDK man, I feel like his top Spotify track of the year would be "peaceful river noises" or "subtle ocean sounds." He probably also listens to a good amount of alternative rock like the Cranberries. His guilty pleasure is Dua Lipa, but don't tell anyone that.

❀ Shinazugawa Sanemi - Dad rock for SURE. Gets down to Guns n Roses, Def Leppard, and Van Halen. Is secretly a HUGE Nicki Minaj stan, but would literally die before anyone found that out. I had to come back to him after writing this cause MY GOD HE'S ALSO SUCH A LANA DEL REY FAN LMAO.

❀ Obani Iguro - Refuses to pay for Spotify premium but also constantly skips songs so half of his listening time is ads. He likes grunge punk like the Garden and Foo Fighters, but secretly cries to Mitski.

❀ Tokito Muichiro - Super into the indie scene and only a little bit pretentious about it. Strokes, Pixies, Arctic Monkeys - super vibey.

❀ Tomioka Giyuu - Listens to actual underground music and a lot of smaller bands, but also listens to a lot of Radiohead and the likes. Went through a huge emo phase with Panic! at the Disco and My Chemical Romance and still cries to Helena from time to time.

❀ Rengoku Kyojuro - Imagine Dragons makes him hyped for the morning:D But alongside that he actually has some banger music taste as well. Gets down to some City Girls and Nicki Minaj from time to time. Not afraid to shake some ass.

❀ Kanroji Mitsuri - Love love loves pop and dabbles in k-pop as well! I'm thinking Doja Cat, Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Lizzo, Loona, Red Velvet, and the likes. Enjoys dancing around to it as she gets ready in the morning and holds her own little concerts in her room.

❀ Kocho Shinobu - A true toss up I think. I can see her liking metal like Slipknot and Korn, but I also see her as a Fiona Apple lover so it's hard.

❀ Uzui Tengen - God he's so unbearable. Listens to a lot of soundcloud stuff and thinks he's better than you because of it. He probably also listens to a lot Lady Gaga and will probably play you a super popular song of her's like Just Dance and say something like "it's super underground you probably haven't even heard it."

❀ Kamado Tanjiro - AJR and Imagine Dragons, probably.

❀ Kamado Nezuko - Physically cringes when her brother turns his music on. She's eclectic, though. She hangs out around Mitsuri and Kanao a lot, so bubblegum pop and goth are worming their way into her heart. Traditionally she enjoys a lot of indie pop, though (think Clairo and such.)

❀ Shinazugawa Genya - Dad rock like Sanemi, except more refined somehow. He also branches out more and got super into QUEEN and the Rolling Stones. 

❀ Tsuyuri Kanao - Godly music taste, I'm convinced she and Giyuu are silently judging everyone. Goth music but like real good goth music (as a goth music enjoyer I'm projecting.) Joy Division, Depeche Mode, Type O Negative, all the classics. 

❀ Hashibira Inosuke - I don't know man....... He probably plays all of his music off of a rock. I seriously cannot decide for him. Probably listens to whatever his friends are listening to.

❀ Agatsuma Zenitsu - ONE DIRECTION BABY. But for real, I feel like he would love love love the Beach Boys! A BLACKPINK fan as well.

❀ Kokushibo - He and Kanao would get along so well because I also think he's another goth king, probably more like a Sisters of Mercy type of guy. He hates Douma's music taste, and will eavesdrop on Akaza playing Phoebe Bridgers from time to time and get emotional.

❀ Douma - BLASTS Megan thee Stallion throughout the infinity castle and knows every word to every one of her songs.

❀ Akaza - Phoebe Bridgers fan until the day he dies. 

❀ Kibutsuji Muzan - White noise.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 7/16/2024

how your backyard hurricane go, the houston area? pretty good it doesn't seem

to be clear other than losing everything in my fridge and developing some mold around the windowframes IM personally fine and so are the girls and so is the lair. we lost power sunday afternoon and got it back friday morning (upside down smiley emoji x16)

listening

THREE CANONICALLY BISEXUAL CLUB BANGERS!!! also, trying out a new thing with spotify and youtube videos for songs bc my readership is about 70/30 and i want to streamline the process of actually listening to new music for ppl. it must be really annoying this week but that's bc there's three songs. sorry. it will rarely be this long

anyway.

ANXIETY by Lilyisthatyou is new to me, off the spotify autogenerated dance playlist. a chiller groove in the spelling-things-out genre of dance music. VERY flashy-lights music vid fyi

Why do I feel so alone? Does it show That I'm dancing to fill the void with pretty girls and pretty boys?

i know about kesha's joyride bc i happen to be an alive queer woman. im SO happy kesha is also alive and making music more regularly. this one is canonically bisexual bc kesha is bisexual. also a really flashy-lights lyric video. the most classically recession-pop/early KESHA sound of all three tuesdaysongs this week. im always fascinated when an accordion shows up.

Rev my engine ’til you make it purr Keep it kinky, but I come first Beep-beep, bitch, I'm outside Get in, loser, for the joyride

thank u new releases spotify playlist. also canonically bisexual bc the singer is, also an early KESHA feel but she is a metal artist first and foremost. very fun to headbang to at a stop light. i don't totally Love how it's an emasculating song but given how dudes in the metal scene generally are? i think she should make it more emasculating actually

Take you down a peg (And peg and peg and peg) If you're a macho man then beg (And beg and beg and beg) Bend you over the bed (The bed the bed the bed) It's time to take you down a peg (And peg and peg and peg)

-

reading

fun fact i still haven't seen this movie. i got this from the library the day before the hurricane proper and it gave me a really lovely two hours of not thinking about the active hurricane the day after. enormous format photographs! full-length shots of every look! ithe little personal notes from each designer were so fun to read, and i think this genuinely healed my heart a little. everyone was so excited to go into detail about what choices they made and what inspired them, and even though i would have loved more specific construction details, specific fiber types, and full-length shots of the Back of every look, i recognize i am a freak.

-

watching

watched a truly bonkers assortment of films at my bestie's house this week. her husband is big into godzilla and i sat down not really paying attention or planning to pay attention to Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024, dir. Wingard) but found myself actually paying attention. i unfortunately was a character i hate, Person Who Stops The Movie Halfway Through To Demand A Recap. loved these guys, whatever the fuck they were

the most fun thing about this movie is that it is not a silent film but it acts like one. there are long, long stretches of movie without dialogue bc all the political action is happening between a bunch of giant monkeys. this is going to sound like im damning it with faint praise but they really thought carefully about directorial and artistic choices here! there was a vision and they executed it! it's fun to look at and not just because there's a big monkey in most of the shots!

-

playing

got a look at characters for the new fire-themed land coming up this fall. ppl are understandably big mad that the land is based on Ring of Fire cultures and everyone is paper-white. i think it is correct to be mad and ask them to do better, and they have tweaked designs before release before, however, i don't think this will bring about a sea change in gacha games.

i am rolling along clearing out map markers and achievement hunting and my GOD are there a lot of time-gated achievements in inazuma (electricity-themed legally-not-japan). so so so many of them i originally got halfway through or did 1/5 and then wandered off bc i didn't realize there was a quest or achievement locked behind doing something for three or five days in a row. i now have a post-it on the corner of my monitor with nine different things i have to keep checking in on this week. please someone give me a REAL JOB!!!!!!

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making

cross stitch progress. this was the only thing i did last week aside from shake like a chihuahua and sleep. very slow going! may have to ship the package off to my brother with an IOU bc it is already stressfully late.

made the bean influencer soup (creamy miso coconut butter beans). i made a batch before the hurricane last week so most of my notes are from then. the grocery did not have canned butter beans so i made the same thing (big lima beans) from dry. i have not made beans from dry since i was very small. these beans were so large, so pale, so aggressive.

changes: i was able to find a little carton of straight coconut cream at the grocery but they were out of miso paste. i did have miso soup mix and plopped that in. i also used frozen spinch bc it’s cheaper and i felt better about it than the somewhat questionable fresh spinch on offer. also used two onions instead of one and a hearty dollop of minced jarred garlic bc who do u think i even fucking am. i would have loved to use fresh dill, bc i did plant some and it was growing very well, but the caterpillars were very intense and ate almost everything on my balcony.

going in the rotation! im making it AGAIN as im typing up this post! pretty cheap, very tasty, i don't regularly keep butter beans or coconut cream in my pantry but that can change!