#I don't know yet what other characters will have prominent roles

[the-teufort-nine]

My TF2 Fic Rec List [ Fanfics I've Read That You Should Too]

*cracks knuckles* right, let's get started! X Reader fics are not included bc I already did a list of them for an ask. Mind the tags and ratings, as always. I'll add to this as I collect more, but its decently long as is

Symbol Key:

** = Incomplete

~~ = Personal favourite

++ = Under 10k

SpeedingBullet:

~~Running Blind by TheTriggeredHappy

(( Scout's eyes are badly damaged in battle and for some reason, Medic's gun can't fix him. Until they figure out how to heal Scout, he needs someone to look after him and keep him safe.

Sniper is given the job.

[3rd person limited, Scout's POV, some character development done on a whim] ))

The SpeedingBullet fanfic. If you like Scout X Sniper, and you haven't read this one yet, I don't know what to tell you. You are severely missing out on not only a great romance story, but also fantastic team dynamics. Also has an available Podfic!

++From a Hospital Bed by SlightlyLessThanAnon

(( Jeremy wakes up in the hospital, his brain struggling the find coherent thoughts as the world churns around him, in and out of consciousness.

He finds the team may care about him a little more than he thought they did. ))

Short but sweet. More whole team fluff than strictly SpeedingBullet. Very cute.

~~Golden Brown, as well as its sister fic, Take Me Out by Ali_Ker (Alina_Kerrin)

(( After seeing his co-worker in a new light, Scout is faced with unknown feelings and a new, distracting perspective on things. ))

This lovely author can be found here under the handle @alikerao3

Grouped these two together because they are they same story, but told from the perspectives of Scout and Sniper respectively. Definitely a bit of a heavier read, especially for anyone who has dealt with Catholic guilt or internalized homophobia, but my God is it worth it. Don't just read one thinking it isn't worth it to read the other fic. Read both. Also, check out the song that inspired the title.

~~Going Through The Motions by AussieBookworm

(( Working under RED can be repetitive at times - but nothing like this. After a curse is fired his way, Scout is forced to live through the same day over and over and over again. It should be easy for someone as perfect as Scout to break the curse, right? As long as he doesn't have to confront the things he's been feeling towards Sniper it should be a piece of cake! ))

Possibly my absolute favourite TF2 fic right now. Scout gets character development out the ass, Demo has a prominent, important role, and there's a plot twist so good it had me tweaking out. TW for Suicide as a method used to get out of a time loop. Absolutely incredible, and it needs more love.

Gills and Gunpowder by popkeeki

(( Monsters are becoming increasingly rare. Between getting pushed to the periphery of society or being targeted by traffickers, life is hard when you are not (entirely) human. Like many others, Scout tries to keep his true form a secret. It has never really been a problem. That is, until a nosy teammate catches him mid-swim. ))

SpeedingBullet Mermaid AU!! Good luck finding a fic with this premise that also reaches this level of quality.

**~~Pet by Anonymous

(( Sniper's terrified of losing the one person he has in his life. It turns out there's a convenient solution to that: just make sure he has no way out, and the rest will follow.

Scout wakes up in a van he knows all too well, loopy and hungover, and Sniper's waiting for him.

*

Or: Learning to live with claustrophobia in small spaces Or: Making the best of assisted living Or: You can’t outrun a fucking bullet ))

Are you like me? Do you enjoy Scout whump and Yandere!/Possessive Sniper? SpyDad? Do you want more of it in your life? If the answer is yes, than Pet is for you! No NSFW, just pure, delicious kidnapping and one-sided love.

General Fanfic Recommendations:

++Something's Up With Respawn by Camelot_taurus, Old Works (HarveyDangerfield)

(( Respawn starts to glitch, and the Administrator sets Engineer to work fixing it.

It doesn't take long for him to find out exactly what's going ))

Super funny, weird little oneshot. Basically, Respawn starts glitching and producing fucked up, Paperjam Dipper-esque clones of the Mercs.

++Mask Off by MatryoshkaDoll413

(( Scout is sick. Really sick. 'If we can't get this fever under control it's the hospital or the morgue' sick, and Respawn can't help him this time. They'd already tried that. He's gotten so delirious he's fighting Medic every second he's awake, not really lucid enough to remember so much as his own name, much less that of any of the team. Medic is ready to put him under full sedation and try and work things out from there, but Spy has an idea. ))

Wholesome SpyDad fic. Spy actually acts like a dad for once, for his sick little bunny.

~~++Scout, Respond by MatryoshkaDoll413

(( Scout wakes up in a dark, unknown place, with rocks bearing down on him and a spotty recollection as to how he ended up there in the first place. The only thing that keeps him sane is the voice of his team in his ear, telling him to talk, to breath, and, more than anything, to stay awake. ))

Scout gets trapped beneath a collapsed building, and receives comfort from his team over his headset while they race to dig him out. Super cute, definitely a must read, and I've done so more than once.

pick it all up (and start again) by bugbee

(( The clues had always been there, he had just never wanted to see them. Maybe neither of them had, instead content to deny the truth before their eyes for the rest of their days because it was better than confronting the alternative. Except Scout had died, and Spy wasn’t able to keep on pretending for his last moments. A part of Jeremy was glad for it, despite the simmering rage and betrayal and hurt. So when he tried to look God in the eye and tell Him that Tom Jones was his father… He couldn’t. Not really.

(Scout discusses his parentage with God, and stays dead for a little while longer. Well. A lot longer. On the plus side, he gets to attend his own funeral reception.) ))

An alternate take on Scout's death from the comics. Very Scout centric, obviously, and ends happily.

~~A Little Bird Told Me… by the_soup_specter

(( Medic learns a secret— something personal, powerful, big enough to cause a rift in the team of mercenaries that could tear two of them apart. And for once in his life… he’s not sure how to proceed.

With no better ideas, Medic decides to ask his fellow mercenaries for advice. But as dueling viewpoints begin to pile up, will he be able to make a decision before the team is changed forever? ))

Medic learns Spy is Scout's dad, and spills the beans. Everything turns out ok, but man the aftermath initially ain't pretty.

~~seven times he has to explain (and one time he doesn’t have to) by conner_is_alive

(( the trans scout obsession has me in a vice

also if i don’t vent my trans sadness i will literally rip a government building down brick by brick lmao ))

The fic that made me a trans Scout believer. If you're on the fence about that headcanon, maybe give this fic a read.

**~~Kith And Kin by BOREDGrace23

(( Mick never thought much of the BLU team. They were just clones, after all. Designed to be their opponents in a meaningless war.

That's why when he woke up, his vision blurry, his brain blistering from a headache like he'd just woken up from a hangover, and several burning questions about what had happened, he thought it was strange that they hadn't killed him already.

//

Or, BLU are clones and RED are decidedly not. They’re then forced to work together when their teams disappear. ))

If you like Emesis Blue, or horror in general, go read Kith And Kin. And when you finish, go give @boredgrace23 some love for such an incredible fic.

**++Der Junge by UpInFlamesWriting

(( Everyone on the team knows that Scout & Medic do not get along. They're like Sniper & Spy, except less bloodthirsty about it. Medic scares Scout, & Scout doesn't give Medic a reason to like him. When the two of them start being more than friendly all of a sudden, the team starts to worry, especially when it becomes obvious that Medic & Scout are keeping secrets from them. Scout & Medic are not about to tell the rest of the team that they are a pair of transsexual men, especially when Medic agrees to help Scout in his transition. For all the weirdness that goes on in the base, the world is not kind to queer people, & they aim to keep the reason behind their friendship a secret, even if it kills them. ))

Trans Scout and Trans Medic solidarity fic. I need more of this.

Eight Mercenaries and A Toddler by ChaosandMayhem

(( When Respawn malfunctions and their annoying Scout is turned into something far more precocious, it'll take all of the RED team's wits and patience to look after him. At the same time, Engineer must find a way to turn Scout back into an adult before the BLUs-or anyone else-realizes what's happened. No pairings, just a bunch of exhausted trained killers and one hyperactive child. ))

An Ancient Text from 2012 and the only FF.Net fic on this list, EMaAT is a classic for me. Lot's of Spy backstory, if memory serves. Quotes from this live rent free in my mind.

PracticalEspionage:

++Under the Lake by Her_AngelEyes

(( Engineer goes fishing. Hilarity ensues. ))

Don't let the description fool you. This is a non-con/mind break fic. If you like darkfic stuff, than this is for you~

[red-riding-wood]

OC: Charlotte Griffin

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Summary: Charlotte Griffin, on a quest to emerge from her family's dark shadow, becomes a spy in a gang war that puts her loyalties and desires into question as she grows closer to the man who is meant to be her enemy.

WARNINGS for whole story: eventual explicit sexual content and references, explicit violence and gore, mentions of physical abuse, language, ethnic slurs (mainly because of Alfie)

Disclaimer: story may contain dodgy Italian because I am endlessly confused by the language

I could never escape the red.

The single droplet of blood on the white letter that was meant to mark my freedom marked my brutality. It marked the man’s blood I would have to help spill come the end of winter. It marked, perhaps, who I truly was.

I recalled the blade I had held to my father, the welling of blood it had spurred at the white of his throat, the fall of it against the edge of the letter as he scrawled the last of his name. The way he’d reached for the blade, his voice dipping low like honey as he pleaded with me not to do it. The way I had sheltered it behind my back but had hesitated, because I needed to do it but a few threads of my heart still pulled at what could’ve been.

But it was not the red that Thomas Shelby cared about, for I had allotted it to a nosebleed during my travel to Birmingham. It was the ink black of my father’s writing, the weight his signature held. This was what was most important about the letter; it was what would grant me my freedom.

“I’m not quick to trust these days, Miss Griffin, but your family has treated the Shelbys well, and have never done bad business,” Thomas said as he folded the letter in his hands. “And I may have a job for you, indeed.”

He seemed about to carry on, but I spoke quickly, assuredly, “Please, it’s Charlotte.”

Thomas eyed me for a moment, lips still parted, and then nodded in acceptance. “Very well, Charlotte.” He stood, giving his waistcoat a brush before extending a hand to me. “Now,” he said, once I’d shaken his hand. “You said your father had dealings with the Changrettas once, yes?”

I nodded. “That’s correct, Mr. Shelby.”

“Then I have something for you right away.”

Once Thomas had filled me in on my mission, and he gestured to the door for me to depart, I hesitated, shifting in my chair but not leaving it. Bright blue eyes shot up to me from where they had fixated on some paperwork and dark brows quirked.

“May I see it?” I asked. “The Black Hand?”

Thomas stilled for a moment, and then a key jingled from his pocket, and he unlocked one of the drawers behind his desk. I bit my lip as I waited for him to procure the letter.

“Here.” I could tell he didn’t care to be handling this, perhaps due to the recent death of his brother at the hands of the man who had sent it. But he passed it across the desk, opened to ink-scrawled handwriting. It read:

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

From Luca Changretta & family.

On the right of the card was the imprint of the hand, smudged slightly around the edges of the fingers and outlined with a black, bleeding border. I had never seen one in person.

“He sent you a warning yet attacked before barely giving anyone the chance to read it,” I mused, quietly in thought.

“He wanted to incite chaos, panic,” Thomas said, tone gruff and dismissive, and those piercing aquamarine eyes landed on me again. “Will that be all, Miss Griffin?”

He was tired. Past the rugged looks and the coldfire gaze and the lift of his brow was the darkness of fatigue below his bottom lashes, the prick of sweat at the base of his neck, the plea to be released of his duties behind the veil of one piercing eye.

I forced the corners of my mouth into a polite smile. He didn’t want to discuss this, wanted me out of his office, didn’t even want to pay me the respect of referring to me by the name I had requested.

“Yes, Mr. Shelby. Thank you.”

And as I left his office, I realised that the stories about him were either very wrong or very true, about the Devil and his red right hand.

---     

I shouldn’t have looked into John’s casket. I hadn’t anticipated him to be the spitting image of the brother I had lost, with his ashen lashes and freckled, rounded cheeks and strong jaw. I wondered if his eyes were as ice blue as Alexander’s, wondered if they had filled with the same compassion when he embraced his siblings.

I shouldn’t have been thinking these things, dwelling on the past. I had a job to do now, one that could very well decide my fate.

Thomas had instructed me to make contact with the Italian-Americans. My father had made dealings with the Changrettas in the past, which made me one of the few English contacts they could trust. Which made me one of the few if only viable (and willing) candidates that could give them inside information on the Peaky Blinders.

Thomas wanted to use his brother’s funeral to lure them in, and I was to deliver word to them of its time and whereabouts. I had made contact with a man named Matteo, Luca Changretta’s alleged right-hand man.

The pub was on the other side of town, and didn’t appear to neighbour any hotels or potential residences. They’d been careful with the location. And it was crawling with Italians; on my way onto the second floor, I bumped shoulders with a man in a black coat. His hat was tipped down enough to obscure most of his features save for a sharp jawline, but his New York accent betrayed the faint lilt of Italian. His voice was low but seemed to hiss as he said, “My apologies, signorina.”

“That’s alright, sir,” I replied, but found that he had already whisked his way past me, the ghost of his breath lingering on the side of my neck as he made his way to the bar.

I cast my gaze around me at the crowds that mulled about on the dance floor and among the tables. Gazes seemed to land on me, searing into my flesh, and my skin crawled. I was in the heart of the lion’s den.

Alexander would have been proud of me. I wasn’t dependent on my family anymore; I was writing my own story, and it would not be without its excitement, nor its triumphant end.

I tugged gently at the white bow around my neck, running my finger over the ribbon, as if I could imagine him with me when I did, and then I strode forth, the click of my heels echoing into the throng of voices and the lull of the cellos.

Matteo sat at a table close to the bar; I knew it was him because he nodded to me once his gaze caught mine. I stood out in this place; in a room half-filled with Italian mobsters, I didn’t belong with my locks of pale blonde hair and the white of my lace gloves and the dignified yet almost delicate stride that I had been raised to carry myself with.

I unbuttoned the embroidered black coat from my shoulders as I took my seat, folding it neatly over the back of my chair as Matteo and I exchanged pleasantries. I was seated across from the bar, at which I noticed the back of the man that I had bumped into earlier. He was close enough to listen in. Close enough to kill me if I made a wrong move.

“Thank you for meeting with me,” I said. “As I said over the telephone, I have some rather urgent news.”

The waiter came by and poured a splash of champagne into my glass. The two of us fell silent.

“I understand, Miss Griffin, that you would like to take the side of the Italians in the coming war?” Matteo said, his fingers clasping before him on the table and the candelight casting the shadow of his moustache across a tightened jaw. He radiated tension and an almost impatience.

“My father trusts your people,” I said, ignoring the tinge of bile that rose to my throat at the mention of him. “And I need work. But more than that, I have ambition. So yes.”

Matteo eyed me dubiously, and said, “What is your news, Miss Griffin?”

“Please, it’s Charlotte,” I said, my cordial smile tugging at the corners of my lips. “I met with Thomas Shelby to pay my respects to John. I won’t be invited to the funeral, but I know when it will be, and where it will be. All of the Shelby family will be there.” I paused, noticing the glimmer in Matteo’s eye, and took a sip from my champagne. “Shall I continue?” I asked.

Matteo nodded and gestured me on.

The glass clicked against the hardwood of the table, and I leaned across it, voice lowering to recite the details of the funeral that Thomas had given me.

“Consider this information a gesture of my good will, but in the future, for my services, I would like pay, including a… more personal favour,” I said.

“Thank you… Charlotte,” Matteo said, as we leaned back in our chairs. “Provided this is good information, I think you will be of use to us. And there is plenty of pay to go around. You’ve come to the right place.” A pause, and then, “And what of this favour?”

I resisted the urge to bring my hand to the ribbon around my neck, but the breath I sucked in might’ve been audible as the image of John’s pallid face flashed in my mind’s eye.

“An investigation, in America,” I spoke around a knot in my throat. “Years ago, my brother was murdered there. They never did find his killer.”

“I heard of your family’s loss. I’m sorry, Charlotte,” Matteo said. “An investigation can easily be arranged in the near future. But first, and with all due respect, I have some more questions for you.”

The knot began to unravel in my throat as I forced my brother from my mind, and I nodded graciously. “Please,” I said.

“I would like to know, did Thomas say anything else to you?”

“He offered me work,” I said. “He needs all the allies he can get right now. I think after John, he’s… afraid.”

“Afraid?” Matteo scoffed. “The great Tommy Shelby, afraid?” His scoff turned into a chuckle, one that slowly died as he realized that I wasn’t laughing along. But a wire still lilted the corners of my lips.

“It’s true,” I said. “The Shelbys haven’t faced anything quite like this in years.”

“So what kind of work did he offer?” Matteo asked.

“He wants information, same as you.”

Matteo tensed even more at that, and I chuffed out a laugh.

“Don’t be so skittish. I don’t want the Blinders to win this war. I told him I’d think about it.” I sipped my champagne again, but kept Matteo level with my eyes.

His shoulders sagged if by a slight fraction, his relief barely visible. And he told me, “You’re going to take him up on his offer. And you’re going to report to me. I want to know everything that goes on with the Blinders and the Shelbys. Like I said, you’ve come to the right place. The Changrettas are winning this war, and you would’ve been foolish not to.”

There was a warning in his words. He knew that it was a possibility I was working for Thomas, or would decide to, and he wanted to make that known. But it was laughable, really; how could the Changrettas expect to win a war against the Devil himself?

I’d heard stories of the Peaky Blinders. Tales that would make one shudder and vow to never walk the streets of Small Heath. Even with the Shelby family currently divided, I knew it wouldn’t be long until Thomas gathered his forces and made horror stories out of the Changrettas. Luca had gotten lucky with his ambush on John Shelby; he would not be so lucky again.

And I was going to make sure of that.

“So, if we have a deal, then, when do I get to meet this infamous ‘Luca’?” I asked, a smile still playing at my lips as I sat my champagne down.

Matteo’s gaze dipped to the table, and behind him, the man I had bumped into earlier turned at the bar, long fingers reaching for the felt hat atop his head. Poking from the sleeve of his suit on his wrist, in tattooed ink, was the same hand I had seen on Thomas’ card. His features were revealed to me as he brought the hat from his chest, faintly stirring a few strands of black, slicked-back hair and bringing to the light a scar over his right eye and another slashed vertically across his left cheekbone.

“A pleasure to meet you.” That low voice met my ears once more, spoken around a smirk, and pale green eyes settled on me with a glitter that wasn’t from the chandeliers or the candles. “The name is Luca Changretta.”

Matteo wordlessly rose from the table and disappeared into the crowd, and I was left alone with Luca’s serpentine stare that matched his low hiss of a voice, and his devious smirk that made me wonder if the legends about the Devil were wrong, and his towering stature as he stood to lay claim to Matteo’s seat. He placed his hat on the table, the candlelight glinting off of the onyx gems of his rings – one on his index, one on his pinkie – and folded his coat over the back of Matteo’s chair as I had done with mine. But he didn’t sit.

Instead, still smirking down at me, he extended his ringed hand, and said,

“May we seal the deal in a dance, mia piccola spia?”

NEXT CHAPTER

SERIES MASTERLIST / FULL MASTERLIST

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Taglist:

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

Astro Notes : Short N' Sweet - Saturn's Theme

Saturn in the 1st - Emotional creatures, you just don't know it. Definitely isn't visible to the eye, they wear it well. They can handle themselves better than most. This is not only a compliment, but it also shows how they can be emotional stable even if they don't feel that way. Saturn here makes you grounded in the physical reality more. So you tend to get back on your feet quicker than most.

Saturn in the 2nd - Financial struggles at an earlier age has prompted them to force themselves into roles where getting to the bag is the higher goal. I mean, its a must. You gotta have it all, and they know how to get it. They're pretty practical here, and most can handle their advice when it comes to material needs and finances. They won't go crazy on the spending, but they'll at least make sure their needs are met.

Saturn in the 3rd - Prompt speakers. Intelligent leaders. Shapeshifters with their words. Charismatic thinkers that can charm you with their smile. Their needs are met when they have someone important to them that listens. When they're screaming inside, someone who just knows them well and can feel it without them saying anything is what they want. They are emotional readers, can sense danger ahead or when a problem is going to start.. Very majestic flow and auras. Problem solvers!

Saturn in the 4th - Soft spoken individuals who crave attention that isn't just when they're committing to labor. Not your mommy and daddy, so don't bring all your issues to them. Can be sweet and loving to people who are kind to them. They could turn this off quickly depending on who you are. Super swift, and can create a foundation like no other. After seeing what they were living with they know what is right for them and are committed to receiving it.

Saturn in the 5th - Teachers of the art. Self mastery at they're passions and hobbies comes at a price, but a great one at that. Can be an intellectual or an artistic. No matter what, its always a great time with them. Magical authors. Creative thinkers. Special characters they are. Life is art, & so they make it sweet.

Saturn in the 6th - Figures of authority. People who can manage a room. Natural leaders. People tend to make you the lead even if you don't like it. Can have a tendency to do more than what they need but this comes from a place of always over extending themselves to people. There is a time and place for all of it, this group has to allow themselves to be on the receiving end. Balance is key!

Saturn in the 7th - Captain save a ho's. Lol. Jokes. ;) But seriously, you see a damsel in the distress and you might try and change em. You can also be a great lover, that isn't up to debate. Very old school & traditional. Can be the life of the party. Needs somebody who keeps the momentum going. Can be alienated by authorative figures a lot, its because you're one of them, you just don't see it yet.

Saturn in the 8th - At a young age they knew they we're meant for something. Something that would shake the world. Secrets of the unknown tend to carry them to a long journey. A journey that leads them to their final destination. The path less spoken for, but the bravest tend to move mountains here. <3

Saturn in the 9th - Excellent learners. Yearn for something deeper. Could move into religion or stick to something that speaks to them and helps them grow in this lifetime. They are committed to whatever fits their beliefs, and they sit with them and mature into them gracefully.

Saturn in the 10th - The masters of what they came to achieve. They believed they could be more and so it was. A dream to be a prominent somebody, its a gift & a curse is it not? Spellbounding auras, and a respectable presence nonetheless.

Saturn in the 11th - Could only have 1 or 2 friends that mean the world to them. They're big on achieving goals not having a bunch of friends. Can be very standoffish but theres some history behind it. When they want to be, they can be very sweet and nurturing. Can bring acts of service to a group of people if its time to.

Saturn in the 12th - Creative thinkers. Beyond this realm. Have difficulties with aligning with sources that don't match their integrity. Can bring people to their knees with just their mind power. The truth is, they must choose wisely with what they ask for because saturn here blesses them with it. Be careful what you wish for ;) Its a commitment that changes things.

[lurkingshan]

10 Things I Love About Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

This wonderful little show has come to an end, and I feel compelled to tell folks why I loved it, and why you should watch if you haven't yet. First, a big word of thanks to @isaksbestpillow for providing her excellent subtitles and making this show available to international fans. You can find all seven episodes here, get them while you can!

This drama understands that sometimes we really do want to fuck that old man

I don't know what to tell you, the man is hot. He is kind, patient, and generous, he's a master chef, he has a beautiful home with a garden that he tends himself, he is a loving dog owner, and on top of all that he has a hilarious dry wit. Who wouldn't want to fuck him??

Ishida is an endearing protagonist having a relatable quarter life crisis

Ishida certainly does! Which is a nice little revelation for him in a time when he's already struggling to figure himself out, as it's his first time wanting to fuck a man and his work colleague to boot. Ishida has hit a stumble in his original career choice and is feeling pretty apathetic about his job when he meets Mitsuya and gets his world rocked.

Mitsuya is a weary older man who has been burned

Mitsuya is quite a contrast to Ishida as an older adult who very much has his shit together, but has also survived some deep hurts living as an out gay man and grown reluctant to let people in. He and Ishida both see something in each other that the other needs.

It's a food drama that will make your mouth water

The food Mitsuya makes and serves to Ishida in this show looks so delicious that I had to make sure I was fed before watching each episode. Mitsuya can feel free to bait me with food any time.

Shige is my idol

We get to spend ample time at the neighborhood bar, where Mitsuya's old friend Shige serves drinks and hot goss. Shige is a great mix of the wise elder gay dispensing advice and the mischievous trouble maker who likes to stir the pot. I love him, and this show's understanding of the realities of men their age living out and proud.

Frito is a very good dog

FRITO! I'm not always too hype about pets with prominent roles in my shows, but in this story Frito is an important character and an emotional support to Mitsuya, and often provides impetus for Mitsuya and Ishida to grow closer.

Have I mentioned this show is hilarious

Truly, so funny. I laughed out loud during most episodes. Ishida is a walking comedy show as he flails through life, and the few moments when Mitsuya's dignified exterior cracks will have you howling.

It gave us one of the best dates I have ever seen on my screen

I still think about this date all the time. It was so beautifully written to underscore why this couple fits and how they each meet the needs of the other. Just having seen this one day spent together, it's easy to understand how a life between the two of them would unfold.

This show has a mature and nuanced understanding of relationships

We get deep into the show's perspective on love and romantic relationships via the return of Mitsuya's ex, Kaoru, a plot which the story handles with remarkable grace. I loved the space they gave to Mitsuya's former love and need for closure, and that Kaoru was not treated like a villain. He even got to provide an assist to Ishida!

The main romance feels deep and compelling

All of this adds up so that by the time we got to the finale, I really believed in this romance and why Ishida and Mitsuya needed each other, and the way the show dug into their hesitations and fears around that was so moving. My only regret is this show is short and we can't follow them to keep watching their lives together, but we got what we needed to feel confident in their future. I will miss them.

[queenoftheimps]

Artistic Expression as a Form of Love: aka Some Meta About Interview with the Vampire

hey guess who spent all of today putting off a really boring work task

So I'm just suddenly just having a lot of feelings about how love is tied to creation in Interview with the Vampire.

Specifically, each character's artistic impulses and what they say about their relationships, and how they use their creative output as a sort of love language.

From the very first episode, we see hints of this. Miss Lilly asks about Lestat's music box, which plays a song he wrote for Nicholas once upon a time, evidence of his love for someone who's been dead for over a century.

He later writes his own song for Louis, 'Come to Me', and Claudia makes the connection explicit while deliberately poking at him -- he wrote a song for each of his true loves, but does one signal love more strongly than the other?

She's being facetious to prod at him, but the show seems to genuinely make the point that we can track each characters' relationships through the art we see them create.

After all, we see it with Claudia herself later -- even before there's any discussion of becoming companions, we can feel Madeleine's compatibility with Claudia in the way she makes dresses for her.

Madeleine dresses Claudia as the grown woman she wants to be seen as, as she really is, even before she fully understands the circumstances of Claudia's age. It's telling that in Madeleine's dying vision, the one that convinces Louis of her love for Claudia, that Claudia is wearing a dress that Madeleine made for her.

By contrast, we see how Claudia is incompatible with the coven in the role that they have quite literally written for her. If Madeleine shows her love by treating Claudia as an adult, the coven shows their lack of caring by creating artwork where Claudia is forced into playing a part that diminishes her.

In turn, we can see Claudia's enthusiasm for the coven tied into her willingness to perform -- she starts off trying to smile her way through the situation, before quickly growing tired of the performance (and, relatedly, the coven itself).

But then again, how does the coven show its real loyalties? Well, with a painting.

We don't know who painted Lestat (Armand, possibly?), but having artwork of him in a place of prominence is pretty telling. But then again, the theater's creation is itself a reflection of art as a signifier of love & bonding -- Lestat suggests a theater to a lonely Armand as a way to regain a family/coven structure, after the last one fell apart.

Which makes particular sense for Armand, the character who most explicitly equates artistic expression with love and understanding. We see him underline it in his own telling of his backstory -- "No one has painted me in over 400 years." He associates painting with being seen and cared for by his maker --

-- and yet we, the audience, can plainly see what a warped, toxic relationship it was from the painting itself : a whitewashed version of Armand's face that doesn't truly look like him.

Hell, we even see Armand's betrayal of Louis in the form of creative expression -- to quote Daniel, "He directed the play!"

His treason isn't just that he sold Louis & Claudia out, it's that he participated in a creation that would condemn them. Artistic expression shows us love and loyalty in this world, yes, but it can also be used as a tool of abuse or betrayal.

Which brings us to Louis, he who has the eye for art but maybe not the skill for it, who never said 'I love you' to Lestat and wouldn't call Armand his companion, who ultimately gives up on creation in favor of becoming a collector.

It's especially interesting that his abandonment of photography is also explicitly tied to the end of his visions of Dreamstat. Even the one photo he takes that garners praise is one he tries taking of Armand & Dreamstat at the same time -- as if the closest he can get to expressing love through creation is something that blurs the lines between both men he has complicated feelings for. (Note that the scene where he develops the photo is directly after the "Show me the only way you know how to love" sequence of Louis bashing some guy's head into a wall.)

Hell, if we want to take it even further, we can even see some of this pretense in the inclusion of the Fred Stein photos (assuming Armand actually did sneak them in). On one level, we can see it as Armand trying to build up Louis' happiness, but on the other, it's him trying to build up the image of their romance.

After all, if artistic creation is a sign of love -- especially to Armand! -- what does it mean if Louis is openly disparaging his own abilities to make anything at all?

Taking it further, what does it say that he and Armand have a collection of photos of various boys over the years and expensive artwork hanging on every wall, but Louis doesn't seem to have taken any pictures of Armand in almost eighty years?

And hey, speaking of fascinating boys: what does it mean when Louis hasn't made anything creative of Armand since the 1940s, but he has no problem writing a book for ten hours with some guy he picked up at the bar?

Hell, writing a book where Louis spends ten hours talking about his life and hasn't even gotten up to the part with Armand yet? The supposed love of his life doesn't even garner a mention, to the point where Daniel didn't even know he existed when he arrives fifty years later.

And what does it mean when that book you never wrote is a giant hanging thread in your life, enough to create a connection strong enough that you remember that guy fifty years later and go back to that writing it? Even over the objections of the love of your life?

Especially when find out that Daniel's entire writing career is sparked in part by inspirational words given to him by Louis -- a sign of their bond withstanding the test of time, enough to make them friends after a fifty year absence.

That said, if we're working with the idea of artistic expression as proof of connection -- especially when it comes to Armand -- then it also makes perfect sense why Armand would insert himself into the interview once he's been revealed.

Then it's no longer about Louis & Daniel, or Louis & Lestat, it's about Louis & Armand and artistic proof of their connection! They're both now creating a story, a book that will include their entire romance! It's the first time that Armand has had the possibility of being an artistic subject in decades, so no wonder he's quick to latch onto it.

Even then, though: I think it's interesting that when Armand is talking to Daniel alone, the first story he thinks to tell him about is his relationship with Lestat. Make of that what you will.

(Also, I've said this before, but I am very curious what Armand's feelings towards Daniel will be after having an entire book written in which he plays a starring role.)

I think that this is all very rich with subtext and possible further progression, especially since we are about to enter a season where a new book is being written by Daniel and there's going to be an entire tour's worth of music being performed, all of it ripe with potential for further relationship nuance.

And while I don't want to wander too far into book spoiler territory, I think this might even neatly factor into a potential Season 4 -- especially since book fans will know that a specific musical performance is the catalyst for a lot of what happens in The Queen of the Damned.

[melrosing]

Why do you hate Cersei getting called a girl failure ?

good question! i have a long answer.

so i wouldn't say it's specifically the matter of calling Cersei a 'girl failure'. like, sure, there's a distinct campiness about AFFC Cersei sometimes, and there's a comedy of errors running through her chapters. we can say this much, and i guess calling her a 'girl failure' was a funny shorthand for this in like. 2020 at the peak of the girlboss meme. and i'm not saying everyone who still makes use of this meme hates Cersei/misunderstands her/trivialises her. it's a meme. a dated one now but still.

however, i think it's about what that meme, or rather the implications of the meme, have done to conversations around Cersei and her storyline. like, again, Cersei's chapters can be funny, that's intentional on GRRM's part. but they aren't just that: Cersei's chapters also deal in trauma, abuse, gender & misogyny, prophecy, power, politics, etc etc. she's a deeply cruel character, but she is also one who has suffered a great deal, and her chapters challenge you to bear both in mind at once when you think about the things she thinks, says and does.

but I think many fans aren't willing to fully engage with Cersei in that way. they need to simplify her to one thing, whether that's 'evil', 'a mother', or 'stupid'. for the first, you have people saying that Cersei deserves everything that happens to her because of the evil she's done - and these people are practically always coming from a deeply misogynistic angle, where often they'll defend Robert in the same breath.

for the second, you have people who essentially reduce Cersei to her gender and her role as a mother, arguing that her trauma and her love for her children ultimately justifies, explains, or excuses everything she's ever done. this tips over into its own kind of misogyny, and is how you get characters like GOT's Cersei.

and third, you have people who don't really believe either of the above, but also don't care to fully explore Cersei as a character. they write her off as a comedy side-act, with perfunctory nods to some of the deeper themes but the prevailing content they share on her is 'lol isn't she stupid!'

and i'm not saying everyone who has ever called Cersei a 'girl failure' is a misogynist. i honestly don't know if i didn't reblog a couple of those memes years ago. like w/e, as I say, she does make some daft mistakes and some of them are written to be funny. but when the overwhelming content shared about Cersei is one of those three above, of which the most neutral stance is 'she's fucking stupid', it can be really disappointing and frustrating. and ultimately the prevalence of the 'girl failure' take tips into misogyny, because it fails to embrace Cersei as a full character.

it also fails to explore the reasons why Cersei doesn't make the best decisions. like sure, she's rash and narcissistic - these traits mean Cersei can skip the reasoning straight to the act. but she's also been left out of much of the education afforded her brothers in how to wage war and govern. that she often re-traumatises herself by forcing herself to use sex to politick, and how she renders that trauma circular by pulling others into the cycle like Lancel and Taena. so much of Cersei's arc is circular: she's always fulfilling her own prophecies, and it's a tragedy.

i've always reserved some criticisms for how GRRM manages her arc: she's our only real female villain POV, indeed our only prominent female villain in the series, and yet whilst comparable male characters are played straight, e.g. Tywin, Littlefinger, Euron etc, Cersei is frequently played for laughs. that results in a lot of whiplash, particularly as it sits alongside extremely dark themes of trauma and abuse. ultimately, Cersei is one of my favourite characters (she comes only after Jaime and Brienne for me), so I do love her in spite of this - I think she's a fantastic character. but these choices are part of why she's so easily mocked and written off in fandom.

anyway, all of that to say that I think the 'girl failure' line has just broadly contributed to quite a reductive discourse around Cersei, who already suffers a great deal of it in fandom. there's so much more to be said, and yet somehow we always end up here. and just to reiterate, I'm not saying the meme is fundamentally misogynist, but rather, it's prevalence in an already misogynistic fandom attitude towards Cersei, can be construed as such.

[terukotime]

thinking about Ace and Eden again and how i really don't want either of them to be the culprit lol. i just feel like either one being the blackened would be a waste of their potential. i know in Danganronpa that's bound to happen with some characters, but Ace and Eden both have traits and arcs that could run through the whole series, or at the very least, to the next chapter. while a big part of any killing game story is losing characters quickly and having their arcs and growth cut short (we've already seen as much with Arei, rest in peace queen), Eden and Ace have a lot of prominence in the Trust vs. Distrust theme of drdt, on either side respectively. and they both have a lot of potential for their views to change. i can totally see Eden's optimism finally starting to crack, and she begins to lose hope in trusting others and thinking they're good-intentioned, especially since she was put in virtually the same place that Teruko was in in the last trial, with everyone distrusting her and thinking she's the culprit. though Ace hasn't had much of a catalyst to alter his beliefs yet, there's still hope for his views to change. he's a lot like how Teruko began to behave after the first trial, thinking he can't trust or rely on anybody and pushing everyone away as much as possible.

[giant-ass analysis under the cut. i didn't expect myself to go on such a huge rant, but i realized i have quite a lot of thoughts on the matter lmao. there are probably a lot of hot takes in here and i know there will be people who won't agree with me, so take this all with a grain of salt, pls & thx]

while Ace's role in the trials is mostly confined to causing conflict and being a comedic relief, he's expressed being committed to investigating the scene of Arei's death. while sure, if Ace is the culprit, his desire to investigate could very well be a ruse. but for the sake of his potential, it'd be far more interesting if him being innocent results in him going on to investigate more thoroughly and contribute substantially to the trials. Arei did have potential for a full redemption arc, but her death doesn't feel narratively unfulfilled. its tragedy not only allows the audience to further sympathize with Arei and see just how nuanced she was, but it's also meaningful to the members of the cast, and will serve as a point of motivation for them, whether that be to maintain hope in escaping or giving into despair.

at least, that's how it's set up to be. i feel that if either Eden or Ace are the culprit, Arei's death loses a good deal of its weight and meaning. especially if the culprit is Eden; even if she had "well-intentioned" motivations for killing her (as well-intentioned as murder motivations can be, anyway), Arei's breakdown, desire to change, and tragically short path to redemption is rendered pointless. her want to be a good person will have affected virtually no one. her death will have only held significance to David, as most of the cast didn't care for Arei or hated her, much like Ace.

while Culprit Ace won't render Arei's death *as* meaningless as Culprit Eden, it sure would make Ace's own death feel pretty meaningless. he'd be dying in a trial where he fully believes everyone is cruel, everyone hates him, and no one cares about him at all. his shift in his belief can't really be considered much of an arc or even a regression; he just descends further into his hatred and paranoia until he dies doing exactly what the killing game expects of him. Ace, a character who has prioritized his self-preservation all throughout the series, will have thrown that away for...what? revenge against Nico? would he really place his hatred for them over his fear and will to live? Ace is impulsive and narrow-minded, but he's not without *some* sense. if Ace were to be the culprit of this chapter, what would he have contributed to the story? what would his existence have meant? what would he have provided that the story can't progress without? he'd have zero growth, zero stakes, and zero relevance to the ongoing plot, aside from unrevealed backstory (most of which will likely go unsaid in the main story if he were to die now). do i think Ace is going to play a significant role in the overarching story? no. not as much as characters like Xander and David, anyway. but he still has so much to offer as either a survivor or later victim/culprit, as we'll have spent more time with him, gotten a better understanding of him, and possibly be able to sympathize with him, like we do with Arei.

and here's another thing i've been thinking about, too: all the deceased so far have a point of significance to the story. Xander has a connection to the larger-scale mystery surrounding the killing game and a complex relationship with David. he continues to be relevant in the story even after his death and will likely always be.

Min is not only a cautionary tale to the rest of the cast, but her story follows a very cohesive path:

she's a girl committed to her academics and has been led to believe it's the only thing about her that matters ->

while not a social butterfly, she still enjoys spending time with others and making the most of the situation she's in ->

she forms a bond with Teruko, someone who has shown to value both her intelligence and her personality ->

she finds Teruko being murdered by Xander, and instead of being a bystander, she takes action to save her friend ->

she realizes that what she did has jeopardized her own life, a life that she does not center around herself. her family depends on her having a successful future, a future she has been groomed to achieve since she was little and has made several sacrifices for ->

though Teruko is her friend, Min prioritizes her self-preservation. there are too many things that are objectively more important to her than the life of a girl she's known for a couple days ->

still, she cannot shake her guilt and chooses to remain at Teruko's side throughout the investigation ->

she's desperate to maintain her lie, even if it means framing the friend she tried to save and getting everyone else killed. she fights and fights until she can no longer ->

she loses everything. her life, her future, the trust of her friends, the trust and bond she had with Teruko. Min always had good intentions. but even good-intentioned people can do terrible things.

Min's story throughout Chapter 1 alone is very digestible and easy to follow. even without knowing the greater contexts of her life, like her family's financial situation or her groomed future of being a Hope's Peak student, her motives and actions make complete sense. you don't come away from it feeling like she acted out of character or that her death was hasty or sloppily written. her death has a lot of meaning and impact on the other characters.

and that alone makes Culprit Eden or Culprit Ace unsatisfying. Culprit Eden would not only undermine Arei's death and potentially lead her into character derailment, it'd also just be Min's story regurgitated in a much less compelling manner. Teruko has already had her trust broken, and while it seems like she's slowly starting to see the value in relying on others again in the Chapter 2 trial, what good would Eden's death do for her? even if it causes Teruko to regress, what will change? wouldn't Teruko go back to being the way she was acting at the start of the chapter, undoing whatever growth was already beginning to happen? will she be unaffected by Eden's death, or at least act like it? will it somehow strengthen her desire to trust and rely on others again? (it won't.) Eden's role as the chapter 2 culprit really won't do much good for the story, regardless of what her reasons are. everything we've learned about Eden and Arei, both together and individually, will be irrelevant. the significance of Arei wanting to be Eden's friend unconditionally, something that we learn is so significant for her because of her secret, will turn out to actually be pointless because Eden will have killed the one person who expressed they'd be her friend her regardless of who she is.

Ace simply hasn't done enough in the story to establish his deeper character. with Xander, Min, and Arei, we already got glimpses into their core beliefs, their true selves, their moral standings. if those aspects of a character are only revealed after they're confirmed to be the culprit, then honestly...that's just bad writing. i don't like saying that, but i firmly believe it. not only do we hardly know anything about Ace's backstory, we just don't know a whole lot about him other than surface-level things the show outright tells us: he's fearful and paranoid, he doesn't like being a jockey, he's hotheaded and unsociable, he developed an eating disorder due to the strict requirements of his talent, he's hardly ever had any friends, he doesn't think anyone cares about him. and while a lot of inferences can be made from that information, it's still very speculative, and even a bonus episode after his execution wouldn't be able to cover enough of his backstory and personal life for it to feel justified narratively. you simply can't kill him off without letting us see another side of his character and have it better the story.

if either of them do, unfortunately, turn out to be the true culprit of the case...i will be very disappointed. i won't drop drdt or criticize drdtdev for their decisions, but i will still personally believe it to be a bad choice. nevertheless, it's not my story, and i will continue to support and enjoy the show regardless. i have a lot of faith in drdtdev's skills as a storyteller, but no story can be completely perfect. Ace or Eden being the true culprit won't destroy the show as a whole, and i'm not trying to imply that it's a fundamentally bad choice, i just think it'd be very difficult to pull off and have it feel natural, organic, and satisfying for the ongoing story. i will neither be optimistic nor pessimistic about what happens in the next coming episodes, i will simply wait and see. i just wanted to get all my thoughts out here, and hopefully i didn’t come across as aggressive or snobbish or anything. this is a free to watch series, after all, and i enjoy and appreciate all the hard work that has gone into it and made it possible.

[inkblotsonmyhands]

okay im having some thoughts about the bosses/secret bosses of deltarune.

it's generally accepted that the boss and secret boss of a chapter mirror themes—re: the king has power over his subjects, despises the lightners for the control they have over him, thereby keeping him trapped, and eventually ends up imprisoned in a cage by a team consisting of 2/3 lighters, meanwhile jevil starts off trapped by the king himself in a cage, has no power whatsoever over anyone, yet wholeheartedly believes that he is free and the rest of the world is trapped, and seems to achieve a greater personal satisfaction than the king ever does through that belief. the king and jevil also display dynamics characteristic of their inspirations; the king is amongst the most powerful of playing cards, superior to almost all others except the joker, which operates outside the rules, likewise, a king reigns supreme in court, but the court jester has freedom to do whatever they please and is bound by no law.

the queen and spamton display similar parallels. queen believes she knows best, she craves control and takes it by force in a misguided attempt at actually satisfying her subjects; spamton is a salesman who hopes to sell things to others to satisfy them, through which he hopes to satisfy himself. spamton is obsessed with personal freedom; queen limits others' freedom. while this is a massive simplification of spamton's larger, deeply compelling narrative, im keeping myself from rambling about spamton and the concept of choice to try to stick to the original purpose of this post. these two characters' ends are also reflections of each other: queen ends up happy, but in a sense trapped and powerless—she becomes a resident of Castle Town. spamton gains the freedom he craves and ceases to exist. a motherboard thrives under proper maintenance and control; a spam email has no identity outside the force that propagates it.

having established all that, i want to talk about the narrative roles these bosses/secret bosses play.

jevil is a truly hidden character. you have to investigate the map thoroughly to find him; if you don't, you may not even know he exists unless you're particularly observant. you certainly won't know what he looks like, his musical themes, his attacks, his interaction with other characters, or any part at all of his story. regardless of whether or not you unlock jevil's fight, the main boss of chapter one is still the king.

spamton is different. spamton appears prominently in any playthrough of the game—you do not have to go looking for him. multiple characters talk about spamton before you see him, and once you meet him, he further elaborates on his interaction with them. spamton's main musical motifs are all heard in the main game. you battle spamton in all runs of the game, albeit lesser and more powerful versions—regardless, even a normal playthrough familiarizes you with spamton's attacks. spamton is a character in the game with as much presence as any other without any need for you to go out of your way to find him—he arguably has a larger presence than any other miniboss, because spamton's scenes and fights are striking, memorable, and dramatic right from the first, "normal" time you encounter him. he's called a secret boss because to unlock his boss fight, you have to either perform a long, long series of steps which spamton himself guides you through, or you have to manipulate the main character's childhood friend into performing some truly chilling (hah) actions which dramatically alter the course of the game. if you do this, you do not fight queen, the real boss of chapter two, at all, and instead fight spamton, the secret boss, in her position.

spamton is not a secret boss in the same capacity as jevil. jevil's existence and boss fight are both a secret, while spamton himself is not inherently a secret at all—only his boss-ness (boss-ship? boss-hood? boss-form?) is. this development between chapters one and two, between jevil and spamton, makes me wonder how bosses and secret bosses will develop in upcoming chapters.

ive started thinking about how the differences, similarities, parallels, and overlaps between the boss and secret boss could be explored in further chapters. right now spamton becomes the main boss of chapter two after making some disturbing choices—but they're still your choices, you're still the one who made them, you were too curious for your own good. what if bosses overlapped and interchanged based on softer, less damning choices? what if the choices were just as damning as they were in chapter two, but you were desensitised to their gravity? what if the game itself directs you to make these damned choices, to the extent that you never even realize that you're making them, and the "secret" boss starts rising up as an increasingly prominent antagonist, until they fully replace the normal boss?

two further elaborations:

(one) toby fox has set up the boss and the secret boss's character inspirations in a very precise thematic manner, especially the primary bosses. the main boss of a chapter based on playing cards is the king of the set; the main boss of a chapter based on a computer lab is the motherboard. the secret bosses are a little less obvious in their inspiration, but a thread i see between them is that they're based off something almost irrelevant, forgettable, yet also overwhelmingly in your face. the joker and a spam email. my purpose in pointing this out is to clarify that im not suggesting that this theming will change in future chapters; i expect a main, overt boss and a secret, covert one to be present. what im suggesting change in is how you encounter them, to what degree, and as a result of what action. the two secret bosses so far explore ideas of freedom, control, choice, and perception. i think there is great potential to explore these and further ideas through playing with the way one encounters these characters in addition to their personal character traits. after all, encountering any character at all is a result of control and choice, which are results of freedom, and perception guides the choices, the very feeling of control, and the opinion one makes of the character. perhaps these secret bosses will cease to be perceived as antagonists at all—or maybe they'll start to come off more antagonistic, in contrast to how the secret bosses so far have been characters it's almost too easy to sympathize with.

(two) the average deltarune player has already played and been deeply immersed in undertale. undertale teaches you many things, but i want to highlight two here: it teaches you to be kind, and it teaches you that a kind heart is only an entertained one. the first of these informs a lot of players' instincts in deltarune—we tend to choose the "nice" options and go for the "morally right" thing. as we have been taught, when one does that, they meet the real boss as the final antagonist, who they know is definitely a bad guy, cause they, the player, have been nothing but good. i think that deltarune wants to teach us something about morality even further than the point undertale made with its no mercy run, where we were shown how one loses their pretence of kindness to a burning urge to be entertained. i think a very interesting way to do that would be through un-teaching us the nice!nice!nice! instinct that undertale hammered in, potentially teaching a completely different, possibly chaotic instinct in its place, then manipulating the game and its bosses based on those choices we start making instinctively. a key aspect of a toby fox game is the fact that any choice, regardless of how or why you made it, is finally your own, and i fully want to be punched in the face with that fact once again through deltarune, which i think it could achieve by subverting our understanding of a "normal" play of the game. i fear i am rambling too much for my point to be clear, so to illustrate with an example, what i mean is this: we accept that the normal chapter two occurs by playing the game the normal, obvious way, while the weird route occurs by playing it the intentionally absurd way—but what if those lines between normal and absurd started blurring? what if you started feeling unsure of which was the "correct" way to move forward in the chapter? what if you started having to take morally ambiguous decisions to achieve the "normal" ending of a chapter, which conditions you to start making morally ambiguous decisions in general, until chapter six rolls around and the fandom talks about the normal route and the weird route, but somehow, the weird route is the one where everything is fine and all four friends who fall asleep in a librarby wake up?

i have never typed the word boss this many times in my life. good night, humans and monsters.

cross posted on reddit.

[jaylleoo14]

An Octopus First Impression II

part I

His first proper introduction and your "first" impression

>GN!ReaderxAzul

A/N: This is starting off right where it was finished so please check out part I first to get better context ^3^ And yes, this one is much longer

[disclaimer] A certain someone can't take a damn genuine compliment 🙄 (okay but understandable)

[characters] Azul & a little of a jesting Jade

In all honesty, you knew who Azul was. Who didn't know the dorm leaders when they are the most prominent leading representational figures in each dorm? You've met some of them personally, getting to talk and spend time with them on not so irregular occasions. Sure you see them more than often compared to the others, but it differs and varies. It's usually expected for students to at least show some respect for the dorm leaders, I mean they are dorm leaders for a reason. Yet there really are some arrogant nobodies from time to time and it's only then the wrath of the dorm leader's power and authority gets put into action, reminding everyone just who they are messing with.

Azul was no exception. In your mind, he is a dorm leader, automatically making him more powerful than the average students here and has qualities fitting for this role.

There you sat with the poised man, sitting aside from you on your left as he sat with his back perfectly straight. His posture made you a bit self conscious so you fixed yourself up properly once you realized that your posture wasn't the best against the wooden back of the chair. Just by the way he was sitting and talking, the way he gestured and pointed, everything about him seemed to just radiate professionalism. The way he would explain terms or the events leading up to the main wars, what magic played into what part and so on.

How kind of Azul

Your thoughts are only interrupted for a moment when you think to yourself how kind Azul is, his willingness to help you with your studies. Once that thought is processed in your brain, it then goes back to listening and following along with Azul.

You nod along with his explanations, following where his pointer finger would end up on the pages and his little personal opinions of why things are the way they are.

"Hey Azul? How about we take a break? I feel like I kinda need it" A hand props up on your cheek as your posture goes back into a relaxed curve and your elbow propped on the table and you let out a little sigh. He continues to keep up with his prim sense of etiquette, pushing up the frames of his glasses.

"Why of course. I'm sure going over the material for about almost an hour straight must be daunting and draining for someone such as yourself. Though we'll get back into the lesson once 20 minutes has passed." He flashes a smile your way, a stark contrast to your more drained self.

Perhaps it was because this is the first time you and Azul have ever interacted with one another, but one of your first thoughts is rather if you'd prefer his tutoring or Riddles. As you consider it some more you think as of right now you'd rather stick with Azul because you're pretty sure Riddle is a bit fed up with you right now and you don't want to feel the pricks of the thorns from the rose.

"Hey Azul? Thanks so much for taking the time to help me out. I appreciate it" Clasping your hands as you stretch yourself out, he lets out an affirmation that it was no trouble at all.

There are a diverse set of students here at Night Raven College. To brute strength guys to the most pretty silver tongue guys out there. If it weren't for your careful judgment in knowing when and where to proceed you probably wouldn't have made it this far with your companion Grim by now. Pomifiore is known for its elegance, the dorm based on the tenacity of the Fairest Queen. The students residing there you'll see are full of fair skinned and perfect silky haired individuals, looking as if they are from the richest medieval fairytale books you'd read in dark romance.

You've never got the chance to properly look at Azul, the whole session's main focus being the studying part. So when you come to take in his features, you can't help but to take a moment and stare in awe at how handsome and dashing he was in an unobtrusive manner.

He's so pretty

The way his lips looked plush and prettily pink, is that his natural color? His eyes looked calculative and thinking, yet looking so enchanting. The mole diagonal under his lips, giving it a nice accent. Sure you've seen some fairly good looking people who don't belong in Pomifiore, but his fair clean and glistening skin and his perfect features could fool anyone into believing he was a part of that dorm if he were to wear the uniform. Vil will always be the fairest of them all, but something about Azul enraptured one's heart just as well. The tentacles pull at the heartstrings as it lays there beating in the grotto. His look almost humbling despite his beckoning alluringness, as if it could draw me into the depth of deep waters like a siren calling in passerby sailors.

"Prefect, may I ask why you were watching me during flight class?"

"What?" In real time, despite all these thoughts running in your head you could say that it lasted for only about a minute - which is long enough for him to be aware that you were clearly staring even if you were trying to be discreet about it.

You feel your cheeks turning a warm red, embarrassed by such a blunder. "Oh well, I mean I can't take flying classes so you know, whenever flight class is in session I'm usually in the back doing exercises. And during one of our joint sessions way back I saw a glimpse of you then"

"I see, what a terrible time to see me truly"

"haha, what do you mean? It was pretty f- ahem. I mean, I think despite not being the all time best at wielding the broom, your skills prove enough to pass the class"

"Don't think that I didn't catch what you were going to say '' A little scowl forms on his face and I cant help but to laugh a little instead of feeling intimidated.

"Sorry sorry. But at least you guys can ride the brooms, it looks fun." Your voice sounds a little left behind as you recall the memory. "Being magicless isn't all that great when everyone is in the air and you're the only one on the ground doing sit-ups"

A shiver runs up your spine just thinking back to Vargas impeccable-muscle brained shouts.

"As the kind hearted person I am I can say that I can sympathize with your situation prefect, i'm sure being magicless in an a magic-filled school has it's risks." Azul twists his upper body to face me, sharing indulgence in our conversation. "And as the benevolent man I am, my doors are always open thus you need any sort of assistance, I'd gladly like to help in any way possible"

He places those gloved hands of his on his chest to give off a welcoming presence, a charming smile to top it off.

How generous he is

"Has anyone ever told you how pretty you are Azul?"

Now it was Azul's turn to stumble. "What? Are you trying to ma-"

"Look I didn't mean to get you off guard like that, but I think you should just know that. Take my compliment as a thank you for your generosity."

Azul can only give you a suspicious look, as if you had some hidden intent or meaning to those words. His piercing gaze shooting you like a triton. It was a rather sudden change in topic, he cant help but assume something was up.

"You don't have to believe me, I'm just saying you're pretty jeez. Take a compliment will you? It's not everyday you get one"

Clearing his throat he straightened his posture which he didn't even realize faltered.

"Why then, thank you for the compliment, Prefect." Just barely a light hue of peachy pink can be seen on his ears, and you were right. It's not every day he gets compliments. Weird, why wouldn't he? He's so pretty.

Because this is an all boys school full of cocky bastards who can't compliment others genuinely for shit y/n. Of course, an inner sigh comes out.

"Why are you suddenly so awkward now?" A mirthful laughter springing passed my lips.

"I'm not being awkward in the slightest, perhaps you should be better at reading others before deducting a conclusion"

"Someone sounds defensive" You divert your eyes to look up to tone it as indirectness, leaning against the creaking wooden chair. 

“And someone thinks they are being rather cheeky”

“Haha, no way! It was just a simple compliment. Did you want me to start teasing you instead and genuinely not mean it?”

“If you think someone such as yourself could tease me then you’d be terribly mistaken. I’d say you’re acting rather comfortable with me if you can so easily say such a thing.” Tilting his head up as an artful smirk paints his face, perhaps to better describe it better; a machiavellian one as his lips pursue to open to speak. “Comfortable enough to even shamelessly stare at me. But I am pleased to know my physical appearance is to your liking, Prefect.”

“I think it's normal to stare at pretty things though.” A lighthearted chuckle fills the air around me and I share a similar smirk to his, only this one was painted as amusement and playfulness. “Were you thinking you had something on your face instead? That would be a little entertaining to see you freak over that, if I were to say.” 

He doesn't reciprocate the playfulness however and just shoots back a more stern face. “I see you are feeling rejuvenated enough to want to fool around now, I think that’s enough break time for you.” Readjusting his position he turns to flip the textbook page over and you can’t help but laugh a little.

He’s kinda funny

He’s smart

Almost endearing even

With a slight pout and a feigned whine you scoot up your chair to prop yourself better against the material laid table and lean in to ready yourself to listen and follow along with Azul. With your eye going back to their attentiveness on the book, darting back and forth to write and scribble in your notes, next to you a small smile creeps on Azuls lips. His cheeks slightly a little red; it’s shade comparable to one of a watered down crimson sunset sitting on the edge of the sea. 

Pretty is what they think of me

You can say this study session went well as you both now exit the library, feeling not only drained but confident and pleased to have more self confidence in yourself now. It was not only productive, but you get the impression that your personalities interact with one another well. 

Azul sees you off, insisting he were to personally escort you back to your dorm but you firmly decline. You deemed that it was already enough that he used up at least 4 hours of his time to use it to tutor you.

“I was born with legs, but not a brain big enough as yours to comprehend all of that material in one go or two. Have a pleasant evening Azul, I greatly appreciate your help,” hugging your textbook and notebook stuffed with writings and notes. You wave him goodbye as you walk off.

They have a better image of me now, good

Azul walks back likewise, in a better mood and his mind more at ease. Not only can he use that study session to pull out some favors from you but he was able to wash away that pathetic self of himself on the broom from your head. Killing two birds with one stone, how easy it was. 

‘Has anyone ever told you how pretty you are Azul?’ your words echo like a ripple in his head. On the walk back he can only smile to himself remembering your words of what can be assumed of honesty from the heart and not some simple lip service to butter him up. 

They are rather interesting. We got along better than I expected

Being able to make the Prefect indebted to him is a big score today, the reason why he’s in such a good mood - is what he’s telling himself. But the overly pleased and delighted air around him tells Jade that there is more to it when Azul begins to share the success of today, arriving back at the chic and sea-themed office.

“You seem to have enjoyed your time with the Prefect, Azul. Perhaps if you continue to accompany them they may drown you out with compliments and poke holes in your heart.” 

Purposely saying that in a way which could be taken in two ways, selectively picking and choosing his words, Jade can only teasingly comment.

“I assure you it was all in my own self interest and benefit Jade. I don't let such words to affect me in such ways,” Azul combats his jesting with a serious look in his eyes. Jade can only chuckle a little, going along with Azul’s words to assure him that he meant no harm and it's back to work after spending so much time neglecting them. 

“Of course. It would take some time to poke holes in three hearts instead of one after all”

There you were, lazing on your striped cushioned couch back at the shabby dorm which you can respectively say is your dwelling and your little companions, alongside the ghost who you’ve managed to coexist with dwelling there before you. Your notes are put away and neatly tucked in. Residing in the corner of your history notes, a little ‘he’s kinda cute’ is scribbled on a random page.

Not like he'll ever know though, right?

[yazthebookish]

There are readers who view ACOTAR series through two different lens:

1. One is a "Archeron sisters only" lens which tend to believe that the series centers on only the sisters.

2. The other is "led by different important characters" lens which believe both old and new characters will contribute to the overarching plot.

And I personally feel Sarah leans towards the latter because she always said the spin-off books will follow different romantic pairings and she lets the characters lead her, basically whichever character brings an interesting story to her she will follow that (and yes she can do it without changing the overarching arc much, she decides who can lead the next plot). We've seen her pull in other characters into the story unexpectedly but still gives them important roles to push the plot (e.g., Yrene Towers, Lidia Cervos, Sathia Flynn, etc.).

Also, in her ACOWAR interview she said one of the reasons she started drafting ACOSF was to explore new characters (and we've seen in every series that new characters can join the main cast).

If it was about only the sisters we would've only had two novels (including ACOSF), but as of now we have two full novels and a novella left (Sarah teased there might be more ACOTAR books and she signed additional 4 books that we don't know of yet). Two novels but one Archeron sister left, how does that work?

P.s., there is no multiple POVs as she confirmed more than once the spin off books follow one couple per book, this is what she is contracted for.

She also chose to tell Nesta's story first because as she explained in an interview once that's the story that called to her, she didn't use the fact that she was an "Archeron" as the reason why she needed to write about her and Cassian—Nesta's story drew her the most because of the type of character Nesta was and her own healing journey.

So how does a series about "Archeron sisters only" conclude with a non-Archeron character? The overarching plot is building up in the background, how does a series finale that centers on sisters is given to non-Archeron characters? That logic is flawed in my opinion.

There is no denial that like Nesta, Elain will have her book (it's confirmed she will) but I don't think SJM necessarily follows a specific order. There isn't a single interview of her saying the series is about the sisters. To reiterate, she always said the spin-off books follow different couples. I also think the crossover does have implications on the ACOTAR series and the characters.

Azriel is currently a popular candidate to get the next book because he was prominent in HOFAS alongside Nesta. When Sarah says she thinks it's obvious, she WILL make it obvious. She said the same thing about ACOFAS making it obvious who the first spin off is about.

I think all of the characters offer rich stories and emotional journeys whether they're new or old, they all can move the plot and contribute to the story in ways we won't expect because the author chose to write it.

I hope this offers a different perspective on how I personally view the series.

[pocketgalaxies]

FOR REALLL RE: WHEN MATT ASKED IF ANYONE WANTED TO DO ANYTHING. And then, when they went to Keyleth and Orym said "we want to be useful in the downtime"... my jaw fucking dropped. You all JUST got back from aeor, and right before that you got back from the moon - where your friend fucking DIED. No one wants to process any of that??

From how Matt had framed it, the feywild meeting between Ludinus and the Unseelie was an optional mission they could have delegated to NPCs, yet they jumped right into it with no prep or plan.

[And ohhh, the instant amnesia about why they were there. It was like they completely forgot the intent of the mission, and when Dorian raised that point ("is this what we are here for? To fight?") They all just shrugged and acted like there was no other choice!] I love them all dearly, so my frustration is borne of concern (they just walked into a HUGE fucking fight they are ill prepared for), and I am TERRIFIED Fearne will die now because of it. But also, I wonder - do they even want to be in this campaign anymore?

The way they keep rushing forward...maybe it's bc they've been conditioned by the rest of this campaign's pacing. Part of me feels it's Orym. This whole campaign it's felt like he's been using his pushing attack on the team. [Telling them early on (ep 30s) they need to promise him to be better together, forever reminding them of the ticking clock which means they need to get to Yios, to the malleus key, to reunite post-solstice. Then, an hr into the reunion: they need to keep going to address things "fast and fully". They need to get to Keyleth, to the moon, to stay on the moon even if it's risky bc "it isn't a vacation." Oop Letters died, but let's get back to keyleth, now we need to go to aeor, back to keyleth, and after all of that...well they need to "be useful in the downtime"! That might be too uncharitable? I don't know.

Above the table, I think they are all overworked from making two animated series, running a company, and their professional work outside of CR. It seems like too much. Like they need a break, and maybe subconsciously are running headlong to the finish so they can finally have one. I don't begrudge them that, but it does make me sad for these specific characters that they've been so constrained by the plot.]

yeah for sure, the campaign is sharing space with a million other responsibilities when it used to be The Flagship the single most significant project they were working on. i think it's very likely that both animated series are perceived as a higher priority than the campaign now given the budget, wider audience, etc. which just kinda sucks when the campaign also requires the highest level of emotional and time investment out of all of those projects

orym has definitely played a role in the Always Business No Pleasure vibe of the campaign but i guess i hesitate to put that much blame on him, i think the overall story has been go go go and orym is largely a reflection of that. but also i do agree that it certainly isn't helping and many ppl have made more eloquent posts than i ever could about the space his grief has been allowed in comparison to other aspects of other characters and how that has affected the party and the campaign overall

i really do wish they could've taken this week to recuperate, do something for themselves. literally anything. go shopping. any loose ends they would want to tie up before going into a battle to the death. but they either don't have connections to outside npcs or those connections simply aren't prominent enough. relvin, milo, birdie and ollie, family in zephrah, dariax, etc.? anyone?? imogen v. groon battle was sitting right there? and i just don't understand the necessity of adding in this ludinus unseelie situation it seems like something extraneous that the story could've gone entirely without and now it's just another Thing they have to do?

ANYWAY just struggling a lot about all these things! having a great time!!

[bitethedustfools]

TWST Story Idea (4)

Actually, I have no idea what I'm doing. It was supposed to be a theory, and now it's a story idea with probably a bunch of plot holes and nonsense that I came up with at night. But do consider this idea though. It was said that there are 5 greatest mages in the world, with Malleus on the list, and Dire Crowley could probably be in it too. Who knows? How else did he become a headmaster for so long?

-

Fairy tales change every time they're written and told. Some parts are kept the same, some are not. Some are twisted enough to the point of being called disturbing, and others have their roles reversed, and so on.

It always changes. The words change from book to book and mouth to mouth. Sometimes because the story is a bore, or they wanted to justify the characters' actions, or maybe they simply have forgotten how it goes and made their own story up because they can never let it be forgotten.

Whatever it is, the story is made to fit one's own taste.

Dire Crowley is that kind of person who is unsatisfied with the ending of the stories he comes across. Being a curious bird, he finds it quite strange, vexing even. Why must the good guy win when they have almost nothing? The villains are cunning and stronger even, yet they are defeated by a goody-two-shoes who knows nothing of the world.

Curious, how curious. How could that happen? Logically, the villains should win. It's unfair, like the world is against them. Don't some of the villains come from the same root? So how come they are different?

Crowley wasn't having it. He wanted to know why, and he liked them enough to decide that villains should be heroes too.

And so, he made a story—a story with a certain ending in mind but a hole in between which pages will gradually be filled with time.

He made a world where 7 villains he carefully selected became the most prominent figures in Twisted Wonderland. He wrote the good things he saw in them, and gradually, people admired these figures.

He even made a place for their embodiments so he can watch over and figure out what made them lose. To do this, he made the Royal Sword Academy where the good guys are, the rivals to the villains.

Crowley intended to observe them. They are placed together in a school with 7 dorms. He wanted to see what made them different from the good guys.

It didn't take too long to figure out. Although they are thoroughly competent, they refuse to work together. Each came up with a different plan and proposed the others follow them. The others are of distinguished backgrounds and therefore are too prideful and stubborn to follow.

The story refused to move forward. It stays the same, and nothing changed. They refused to change.

Crowley is upset; this is not the kind of ending he wishes to see. Something must change to move forward, and so Crowley tweaks the story a little bit and begins another story with a twist.

The first Alice, Yuu, gets called over. Yuu is the anomaly in this story. The villains are characters that can't change too much, or else they lack their own identity—the "you are what makes you," if you will. They have to be the same yet different. So Yuu will be the catalyst to move the story forward, the wheels to the cart, and the cogs to the machine.

This Yuu was to be a middleman, smooth things over and let them work together. He was a person of low birth who somehow became a noble. He knew the hardship, and he knew how to connect with people.

The story ended too shortly, sadly. Yuu died. Someone with ill intention killed him, and the others are too indifferent to his death.

Crowley thought that yes, this must be it. This is what sets villains apart from the heroes. It's because they don't care about a single life, and if they do, it is because they lost a good person that benefited them a lot.

Was it because the heroes were kind and good that people would help them? Surely that must be the explanation; otherwise, Snow White wouldn't be able to escape and live due to the hunter and the dwarves, nor would Belle be spared by the beast. Princess Aurora wouldn't wake up if the fairies didn't seek help from Prince Charming.

Because the villains were selfish and indifferent, people don't like them and won't lend a hand. This wouldn't do. Crowley wanted them to be heroes; he wanted to paint the ugly black heart into pure white snow.

The ink dropped on a blank page, and a new story started once again.

Second Alice comes, and Yuu is her name. She is gentle, kind, and her heart is filled with empathy, and she is also willing to voice out her concern. This is good, Crowley thought. This will teach them how to feel, and they also have a rough childhood.

Surely if they are touched by her open heart and kindness, they are willing to change, be kind in return, willing to work together for the same goal.

He watched in interest; they appeared to be enamored with Yuu, who is like a little butterfly fluttering about, only for those wings to rip apart.

"Oh, why are they so cruel?" Crowley lamented. Instead of taking care of it, they'd rather have the wings torn apart. They could not stand the butterfly landing on someone's hands even for a moment.

Crowley called forth another Alice just as the story starts. Again and again and again. He will write the story as many times as he can until the story is to his satisfaction.

He exhausted his magic, and the villains are still doomed to fail by their own flaws and unlucky things. Yuu can only do so much before everything falls apart.

And then the ink splotches on the half-written story, and Overblot came to life. He could not erase their existence. The ink forever stained the pages. Crowley could only roll with it even as new anomalies dubbed Overblot began to pop up. The story hasn't ended yet, and he will only start anew if it stopped.

It was a rather unusual thing to say, but it is the farthest chapters that Crowley has been through. They were nearing the end in every new story with every Alice/Yuu changed.

He lost count of how many Alice/Yuu he has lost and how many villains that slowly changed their way lose their lives to these monsters. No doubt that the perfect story is about to be achieved. The greatest happy ending that the villains deserved is waiting just this close, with a monster blocking the way.

Ink began to drop from his face, dripping onto the already stained book. Crowley too is also nearing his end. His magic is already depleted from using his unique magic and fetching Yuu every time a story starts.

A new story is about to begin, and Crowley stood in front of the Dark Mirror with a white mask. The mask also had ink on it, telling him that the Dark Mirror too had used up their power to summon Yuu.

The next one has to be someone who could survive to the end. Someone who could befriend the villains and show them kindness and recognition they deserved. Someone that can change their ways and improve their perspective of the world no matter how little. Someone to be there by their side until everything.

He reached out to the person whose visage formed on the mirror, urging the person on the other side to take his hand.

"For thee, guided by the Mirror of Darkness,

Follow thy heart and take the hand of the one reflected in the mirror.

Flames that turn even stars into ashes,

Ice that imprisons even time,

Great tree that swallows even the sky,

Don't be afraid of the power of darkness,

Come now, show your power.

Mine, theirs, and yours,

There's only a little time left for us.

Do not let go of that hand, at all costs."

Who would have thought that the new Alice who will guide them all to the perfect ending will be a magicless human who is quite troublesome and reckless in nature?

-

Every Yuu is different. They are summoned from different world/dimension/time to help aid his story (to influence). All of them have magic. Crowley doubted the last Alice/Yuu (from the game. Depends.) will be the last key to open the final door since they are magicless.

Fits for yandere theme as well. This Yuu is very valuable and the key to happiness. Of course they want Yuu to stay here. Of course Crowley wouldn't let them go.

[red-riding-wood]

OC: Charlotte Griffin

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Summary: Charlotte Griffin, on a quest to emerge from her family's dark shadow, becomes a spy in a gang war that puts her loyalties and desires into question as she grows closer to the man who is meant to be her enemy.

WARNINGS for whole story: eventual explicit sexual content and references, explicit violence and gore, mentions of physical abuse, language, ethnic slurs (mainly because of Alfie)

Brewing storms of grey had met their match in the irises of pale green and flecked gold that seemed to resemble the scales of a snake, and rather than piercing through me as Thomas’ gaze had, Luca’s seemed to slowly peel aside every layer – slowly, teasingly, painfully – until it felt as if it could’ve disemboweled me and exposed every truth behind every lie I’d told tonight.

But I did not quail beneath his serpentine gaze, nor did I refuse his offer. My heart fluttered in excitement, not fear; my eyes roved across him in intrigue, not wariness.

A dark brow quirked slightly as I did so, the corner of his lip twitching in synchronicity. Even as I stood in my heels, he was of a significantly taller stature, and from what I knew of high fashion, he dressed well; his suit jacket alone was easily worth thousands, and from his tie to his trousers there wasn’t a wrinkle or a speck of filth from the Birmingham streets in sight. This man prided himself greatly in his appearance; I could tell that much from glancing at him, but I was searching for the idiosyncrasies – the shift of the jaw that indicated a discontent, the wisps of hair that sprung ever-so-slightly awry from the bed of ebony that retreated down a slender neck, the shadow of the faintest stubble on fair skin. Though sporting defined cheekbones, a pointed jaw, a prominent nose, and almost mournfully upturned brows, these were the things that I paid the most attention to. The subtleties that managed to break past a meticulously tailored façade.

Perhaps I searched for these subtleties because these were the things I saw in myself no matter how much I primmed my hair or held my head to the sky or composed myself in a regal air of certainty.

I smiled at him, and the cold metal of his rings brushed my fingers as I clasped them around his warm hand, the heat of his flesh permeating through the delicate lace of my fingerless glove. “It would be my pleasure, Mr. Changretta.”

His other hand slid across my waist, a shiver of delight passing almost fleetingly through me, and my heart sped again in my chest. I took a breath in through my nose to steady it; I didn’t want him to misplace my eagerness for anxiety. There was too much at stake.

Luca held me close as he led me across the dance floor, his pace leisurely yet fluid.

“I hear you’re full of ambition.” His hot breath raked down the side of my neck. “Tell me, what is it you dream of?”

I thought of freedom, from my father, from my supposed family. I thought of Thomas, and the tales spoken of him in hushed tones, the way that he could’ve commanded the entire town from the shadows and smog of the factories in which the Blinders dwelled.

And I thought of the snow. The purity of it, the gentle fall of a crystalline pattern against the grey of a storm. A million of these flakes, against a New York skyline. An image I had only ever witnessed once, and longed to again.

“I dream of a throne,” I told Luca. A throne, on which no one can ever look down on me from; a throne, that no one can ever fell. “Like Thomas Shelby’s. I dream of being untouchable.”

“Untouchable,” he repeated, and “hmm”ed. His cheek brushed mine as we danced, and I could almost feel the curve of his lip into another smirk. We were silent for a moment or two, in which I took the time to acquaint myself with his scent; dark yet alluring notes of cedar and rose seemed to tempt me to press myself closer to his neck, while the faint trace of ambrette stoked a heat deep in my core.

And then his grip tightened around my hand and my waist, and he was pressing me suffocatingly close to him, my chest aching from the contact, and soft lips brushed against the erected hairs at the nape of my neck as he growled into my ear, “What are you running from, Miss Griffin?”

I quivered, and then stiffened at the name. The heat in my core seemed to flicker with a tincture of ire.

Though he had made it clear in the way he’d held me close, had captured my fingers so forcefully in his, that I was completely at his mercy, he relaxed now, allowing me to pull back enough to look him in those pale greens. Our noses brushed from the proximity and we exchanged breaths. The only thing that made me regret my action was the realisation that I had not listened to hear if his heart was pounding as violently as my own.

I swallowed past the newly formed knot in my throat, and I stared up at him evenly, lashes batting against twin storms brewing but not breaking. “I don’t run, Luca,” I told him, deciding to drop the formality in an attempt to worm my way beneath his skin as he had mine. “I walk, in very nice heels. And I look forward, not back.”

He did not appear phased, or even irritated. He only smirked down at me, the gold-green of his eyes almost softening, as if he were two-faced. As if he were a snake who wished to seduce me before introducing me to his venom.

“Your family could have given you everything,” he said. “So why is it that you are here? Why is it, when I ask what you are running from, that you tense?” Slender fingers ran in little circles over my hipbone, the action as lulling as his voice yet as threatening as his words. “Or is it the name? Griffin.”

I stiffened again.

Something wicked darted across those pale, flecked greens, and his smirk broadened. “Yes. I knew you were quick to correct Matteo earlier. What is it about that name, Miss Griffin?”

Often, the best way to lie was to tell the truth. And so I did.

“I don’t want to be known for my family,” I told him simply.

“An independent spirit?” he mused, brows quirking. “Or a lost one?”

My nails dug into the fabric of his suit jacket where they rested along his shoulder, the action instinctual and from something deep inside, something so deep that it wasn’t even dark, but bright; too bright, too hopeful. Too desperate. Obscured in dark because it was too dangerous to be brought to the light.

“What does it matter, Mr. Changretta?” I asked, my teeth gritting only slightly.

“Please, mia piccola spia, I like the way you say my name. Don’t stop.”

I relaxed my jaw but quickened my breathing at his words, my nails digging so harshly into the fabric of his jacket that I swore they’d leave indentations. And though I anticipated him to rebuke me, he only pressed himself closer, let his lips drag across my neck again perhaps just to hear the hitch in my breath and to let the threads of his hair brush the line of my jaw.

“What does that mean? What did you call me?” I asked him.

“It means ‘my little spy’,” he said, thumbing at the fabric over my hip. “So tell me, piccola spia, if you don’t look to the past, why are you so intent on this investigation over a long dead brother?”

A flake of white snow turned red as it settled on the ashen lash of a man whose slashed and marred face dribbled blood down a strong jaw, down torn clothing that had once been so regal, down the wrist that had tied around it a white thread of ribbon.

The cross on a rosary, left in the blood-speckled snow, like the one that reached from the collar of Luca’s shirt to the side of his neck in faded, bleeding ink.

And like the cold had pricked my eyes that night, I felt a tear suspend itself on my lower lash, felt it threaten to fall to Luca’s shoulder.  

I hissed out a breath over him and swallowed again against the knot that seemed to wane and tether in my throat. The tear didn’t fall. I steeled myself and murmured into his ear, the ambrette of his cologne stoking the fire in my belly and still drawing me to him so inexplicably, “A spy is paid for her secrets, Mr. Changretta.”

“What did I tell you about my name?” The metal of his rings dug into the lace of my gloves as his grip on me tightened again, a growl rumbling from his chest. I felt his own jaw clench as it brushed against mine, and though a part of me could not help but lose myself in the proximity and the hot rake of his breath and the dark notes of his cologne, I also longed to read his expression.

“I am not as obedient as the whores your men dragged off the streets,” I whispered, my gaze flitting to the escorts that linked arms with several of the Italians. “My trust is not as easily won.”

“In your circumstance, I think it is you who should be winning mine.” He was beginning to lead us back to our table, given the angle of our little dance and the last, wallowing cries of the cellos denoting the end of the song.

I blinked several times to ensure I was rid of my weakness, and pulled back again to look him curiously in the eye. “And am I?”

“I don’t think you want me to tell you. I think you like the game,” Luca said, the absence of his grip leaving my hand and hip deathly cold as he reached for his overcoat and began to fit it around his shoulders.

“And what game would this be? Is it mine, or yours?” I cocked a delicately carved brow at him.         

Settling his hat back in place, shadowing his green eyes in a dusky dark, Luca Changretta smiled at me but said nothing.  

From his coat, he procured a business card and pen, and scribbled something on the back of it. “You will be reporting to me, not Matteo, mia piccola spia.” Nimble fingers then tucked the card into the lace of my corset. I shivered as the paper brushed against the bare of my breast.

“And I want you at this address, at the time of the funeral. So that if your information is false…” The man took a step closer with an ever-growing smirk, and wedged a toothpick between his teeth. “… we can dispose of you as quickly as we would one of these whores.”

I continued to study him from a curious, darkened gaze, focusing on the way his jaw now moved against the toothpick as it had earlier, as if the wooden object was the missing puzzle piece of him all this time.

I held my chin high, and said, “Then I have nothing to fear, Luca.”

Luca chuckled darkly, and took my coat in his hands, helping to fit it around my shoulders in a way that I would only expect a gentleman to. His fingers guided me; I turned my back to him, and he smoothed out the shoulders of my coat as I buttoned it, and he murmured into my ear,

“You will make a good spy. You even lie to yourself.”

My head snapped around to meet his gaze as he walked away, but I only caught the sideways glint of his eye, the smirk that had plastered itself around the toothpick.

Two of his men rushed to my either side, telling me they were to escort me out. But I could only let my gaze follow the black coat that disappeared into the sea of Italians, his words haunting my mind and the ghost of his scent and touch still burning the last embers inside.

---

A pair of headlights glowed in the smog-ridden air of Birmingham, and I waved the taxi over, a chill passing through my body as the winter winds wrapped their talons around my limb. Though I had always preferred the cold to the sweltering heat of summer, ever since leaving the pub I had found myself yearning for the warmth of someone against me, as Luca had been. Was I that touch-starved, that unloved for so many years, that I was already missing the intimacy of my enemy?

As I entered the taxi, careful not to step off the pavement and into the mud that slicked the ground after last night’s rain, I shoved these thoughts from my mind, forced away that part of my soul that was bright in the blackness.

My lips parted to recite the address of the hotel Thomas had provided me, but the breath was stolen from my lungs as the figure of the driver streaked across the vehicle and a burlap bag that reeked of soured potatoes was tugged over my face.

I struggled, but to little avail; my attacker was already binding my hands behind my back in a rope that gnawed past the lace of my gloves and into the flesh of my wrists.

“Steady, girl.” An unfamiliar voice sounded past the burlap. Irish, not Brummie, nor Italian, as I would have wrongly suspected.        

“You don’t want to be doing this,” I breathed into the stale air of the sack. “Not unless you want to deal with Thomas Shelby.”

I had been warned when I was younger never to walk the streets alone at night, but here, I’d been told that you only needed to utter the Shelby name in order to be let free. To be untouchable.

But whatever warnings this man had heard of Thomas Shelby, he did not heed; instead, a blade was held to my throat, just beneath the grain of the burlap, and a grasp that was rough, careless – not regal or intoxicatingly dangerous as Luca’s – held my knees firm from kicking.

“You’re going to answer my questions, girl, if you want to live. Questions about Shelby. 'Bout the Blinders. Now, about this funeral. Where is it?”

I didn’t say anything. I tried to focus on steadying my breath, on not growing ill from the rotten stench of potatoes and molded burlap.

And his voice grew in volume, and grimy fingers dug into the flesh of my kneecaps. “Answer me, or I’ll fucking cut you, girl. Where’s the fucking funeral?”

Though my knees quivered and my heart hammered against my chest like the galloping hoof of a stallion, and in the blackness of the burlap, crimson began to splatter my vision in an omen of what was to come, I bound my tongue. He wanted information; he wouldn’t kill me. Thomas Shelby would.

“Fucking answer me!” He screeched, and the blade was strikingly cold against my throat, but only quivered, didn’t press deeper. I swallowed against it.

“You don’t want to be at that funeral,” I hissed, hoping that I could talk myself out of it – or at least bide myself time. “There will be armed men.”

“Let me deal with them, and you just worry about telling me what I need to know,” he said. “Where, and when, is the funeral being held?”

“If I tell you, he’ll kill us both.”

Nails dug further into the flesh of my knees, and he growled, “I’m going to give you one last chance, girl. One last chance to tell me, or I will slit your throat. You tell me, and you can run, and you might get killed by Tommy. But you don’t, and I kill you right here and now.”

The nails left my knees and the burlap was yanked from my head; champagne wisps of hair sprung across my face, catching on my lashes, fluttering against my shattered breaths.

The man’s eyes were dark, black as coal, his nose crooked, his jaw broad and gritted. He was staring directly into my eyes, letting my gaze scour every inch of his face. He was steady, with his gaze, with his touch – not even a bead of sweat glistened on a sooty neck.

And that was when fear spiked my veins, and I breathed heavier against the blade held to my throat. He was going to kill me. He wouldn’t let me go, not after I had seen his face.

My lip curled over my gum, and I glared at that black, coal gaze. Despite the fear that coursed through my veins and pumped acid into my throbbing skull, I could not help but smile, could not help but feel satisfied with myself.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” I breathed, the faintest notes of a laugh tearing at my raspy tone. “What’s the point in telling you? You’re going to kill me either way.”

His brow knit, and I gritted my teeth, bracing myself for the sting of the blade digging into my throat, tried to imagine the snowflakes and their cold but gentle touch as they settled on my flushed cheeks. Tried to imagine the warmth of a hand in mine, the brush of a ribbon against my wrist.

But the knife released its cruel embrace, and my world turned topside. My side hit the pavement, my coat and my dress doing little to protect against the scrape of my hipbone. I scrambled to my feet immediately, but I was shoved against the brick of one of the buildings, and from the messed veil of my hair, I glimpsed several figures converging on me, all striding with black coats snapping at their heels and caps darkening their eyes.

An empty whiskey bottle smashed into brittle pieces against the wall beside me, but I held my chin high, refusing to jump despite the terror that leapt in my chest.

The one who’d thrown it was laughing, a wicked yet jovial smile pulling at his mouth. He nudged the Irishman who’d captured me, and said in a booming, distinctly Brummie voice, “Did she talk?”

“She didn’t. Too spirited for her own good, this one is, Arthur,” the Irishman replied, and the man – Arthur – laughed.

And at that name, a relief collapsed on my chest, my shivering knees threatening to buckle beneath me as the adrenaline began to taper from my simmering blood.

This had all been a test.

Arthur Shelby grabbed me by the shoulders and jostled me, grin still splitting his face in two, and eyes glinting like twin blades in the night.

“Charlotte, welcome to the Peaky fucking Blinders.”

NEXT CHAPTER

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[fuck-i-like-too-much-stuff]

I dont know if anyone is ready for this but these are my "Problems in We Are" post:

Disclaimer: if you have been on my blog or know me at all, you know that i love this series with my whole heart. But that being said, im nothing if not fair, and in all fairness, this series had its flaws. Less than most, but still there, these flaws do need to be addressed. My love for the series does not decrease, nor does it for the actors, characters, plots and settings.

QToey: Stagnancy that was Very Fixable.

I don't think many would disagree with me on the fact that Q and Toey's relationship became stagnant after the confession. Their moments could only be seen as Cute and their dynamic was definitely not explored any more. Another thing everyone would agree on is that we would have loved to see the ase/demisexual representation in these two characters. Had this been done, just one conversation around it, the whole plot and mood could have been shifted to a much more positive and progressive impact. Yeah the whole conversation would be a "difficult" one but Satang and Winny could have handled it.

The Lack of Focus on ChainPun

Look, I get it. There's a heirarchy of importance and ChainPun were definitely on a lower rung than the rest. I also am not against them getting together in the last minute of the last episode. But there were definitely times where there could have been a flashback scene for them, like all the others got. The only reason their relationship didnt become a background/2D narrative was because of Marc and Poon being brilliant actors. Had their efforts to make Chain and Pun important not made through the screen, there would be very little cheer for them and certainly no impact.

The First Few Episodes

Till the 5th episode, the direction and cinematography of this show was choppy as fuck. There were stills of absolutely irrelevant objects, sceneries or characters (in the moment) that could've been fixed with just a little bit of finesse in editing. It was fixed in the episodes that aired 5th and onwards, but it did almost make me drop the series (i get slightly OCD about these things)

Yet Another Almost Useless Female Character

Look me in the eyes and tell me that my girl Fai didnt deserve more. In the first couple of episodes she is shown to be integral to the group, a core member and close friend. And then poof she goes, only to appear when it is convenient to the plot. Yes we did have Aunt Pui as a prominent female character, but her role was that of a Guardian that is there in ever series, while the same series disposes every other female in it. Fai could have been given a role in the group, including the trips and outtings, and i shall die on that hill if i must.

Lastly, and surprisingly, the Way they handled Phum's parents

Till the last episode, i was big on Peem only encouraging reconciliation as he hoped for Phum to receive the love that he had himself received from his own parents. And yes, that does remain. But they could have gone without making Phum accept his father, or his father being this sweet guy who is "trying". Phum's dad is not sweet, he is not trying, he is not worthy of Phum or Fang's forgiveness. Though it was only implied and signifies just healing, i wish that the family dinner could've just meant Phum, Fang, Peem, Tan and maybe their brother, with if any, his partner, and a small intro of Peem to Phum's mom. But we shall work with what we have Ao3 and Fix Its.

With that, I end my saga and shall return to random thoughts as and when I have them and maybe a new chapter every now and then to the relic of a fic i have that no one reads lmao.

Thank you for reading and please do add on/leave your opinionss

[asoiaf-source]

GRRM wanted to subvert the usual tropes

Remember GRRM started out his series with the intention of writing something that didn't follow the typical tropes and conventions of previous works. GRRM wanted to subvert the usual tropes like the secret hidden 'prince who was promised' perhaps by having that person be illegitimate - Jon fulfills some prophecy by blood, but not through a legal marriage, he is the 'hero' but not the true 'king' at least by rights of succession.

GRRM will not pull a book out of a dark ancient library that gives us all the answers to the past that make everything easy for our characters, or have a weird political marriage between 'siblings / cousins' be what is needed to unite a kingdom (how? everything is fractured, the land decimated, why would the people care about a political marriages in the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse?)

Remember GRRM promised or forewarned a bittersweet ending, not all the mains or favorites will survive or have a typical happy ending, and I'm assuming that is especially true for the tortured and much suffering 'hero' - at least that is my gut feeling. To me the two most prominent characters Tyrion and Jon are also the two most likely to die by the end - at least one if not both, driven there by circumstances: blinded by love, rage, or perhaps a noble sacrifice.

Tyrion is already blinded by his hatred and rage, will his better nature win out or will he continue to feed his hatred until his end? GRRM had Jon suffer 'death' and gave us clues that resurrections can happen, but they also alter a person, no matter how Jon manages to remain intact after resurrection, he will not come back the same, there will be notable changes, otherwise why do it in the first place? (the show did this very poorly!)

If they survive they will be much altered, as in not the most well adjusted people, lots of trauma to deal with, to take on the role of the clear-sighted leader needed to rebuild a nation and inspire/lead its people. They maybe able to help and/or advise, but I don't see them as the main leader on top. Both have really been through the most changes physically and mentally and you know it will only get harder and worse by the end, GRRM isn't don't with them yet.

As much as the Stark kids have suffered, I still get a feeling of hope and sense of future with them, they are working hard for some kind of future in mind, they are young and being tested and learning how to be resilient people. They don't know of the larger dealing happening in the world yet, only bits and pieces, but it does feel like GRRM is preparing them to deal with it when their time comes and they finally have full agency to do something. Not sure all will work out, but I just can't see any of them dying or coming to harm by the end of the series. I don't feel any of them have had 'big' player moments yet, so I find it harder to sense a future for them beyond what others speculate on and most of it feels wishful.

As for Dany, she started out subjugated, but quickly found her power and has exerted that power within the story. She is by far the most powerful POV in terms of making changes in the world with large consequences. She means well, but things do not always go well or as she expected. She is learning, but also doing at the same time which makes the outcomes all the more complicated as it affects so many people, and not all of it is welcome change. Dany brings hope, but she also bring chaos, Dany makes friends, but she also makes lots of enemies...

I go back and forth on Dany's ending, mainly because of GRRM trope subversions and with Dany it could go either way. GRRM is building her up for something good and great, but whether she survives or is acknowledged for it? That would be bitter sweet indeed, but also in character for her - well meaning and doing something for the greater good, but often misunderstood or politically attacked by her enemies so that only a few close to her know of her true noble intentions and sacrifices. I want her to live, but I could also see her dying or being killed. She is a symbol and and icon and that is an attractive target for people like Varys or even Cottington, could go either way... I just acknowledge the possibilities.

[peonycats]

So I was recently informed that my latest post caused someone to accuse me of posting Chinese imperialism apologia, specifically for my tag comment that says: "If you accuse me of being hypocritical because I'm so anal about tying the nations to their states when it comes to the West but shy away when it comes to China, 1) you clearly don't know how Sinophobia works and 2) I ain't no coward."

Now, it may perplex you how people can accuse me of being a CCP apologist for a post where I called China a slut and specifically noted China's poor treatment of Uyghurs, but unfortunately, it's not the first time I've received accusations of being pro-CCP despite no supporting evidence.

I know I don't talk a lot about my personal life or internal goings-on on this blog, but I want to say this- I'm not completely unaffected by these frequent accusations. It hurts to see me being reduced to my Chineseness. My Chineseness being weaponized to discredit me as a wumao feels incredibly dehumanizing, and it hurts even more to see people believe those accusations. 

To give you my background, I was raised in a fairly nationalist household; my grandfather was born as an illiterate peasant and consequently came to hold very pro-Mao beliefs. From an early age, I often came to verbal blows with my parents (and my extended family) over these beliefs and argued frequently with them over Taiwan, Tibet's annexation, and China's policies towards minorities. I remember representing Kazakhstan for Model United Nations and was assigned to write a paper on the Kazakh reaction towards China’s unlawful detention of Uyghurs. Just mentioning this simple fact to my parents sparked a heated “debate” where they accused me of being brainwashed by Western propaganda, and that I was incapable of understanding China’s actions because I was born in the US.

I haven’t brought up any of this because I’m a private person by nature, and I felt that my posts should speak for themselves about my political beliefs. And yet, I find myself in the position of where I need to bring this up in order to defend myself from accusations of supporting Chinese imperialism, for disagreeing with another person, or calling something sinophobic/promoting sinophobia.

Sinophobia overlaps with other forms of racism, especially anti-Asian racism when other Asians are mistaken to be Chinese. However, we have to recognize that the specificity of China itself in "mistaken to be Chinese" is also what distinguishes Sinophobia from the more general anti-Asian racism. It indicates a designation of China as a prominent actor on the world stage, and most importantly- an inherently antagonistic one. The symbolism of China being inherently antagonistic is what justifies the conflation of Chinese people with the Chinese state; if China is by nature antagonistic then Chinese people must subsequently be extensions of the Chinese government, and every action they do must be politicized.

What are the implications when the fandom gives the okay to depictions of America hanging out with countries that the actual USA has fraught history with, but as soon as China does the same, questions and concerns arise about “making light” of China’s irl actions? That China can’t be disassociated with his state the same way other imperialist powers are in the fandom?

Bear in mind, I am saying this as someone who personally interprets all the nations as inherently political entities. China is no exception to this- my most recent post was parodying an Onion article about Biden and Xi, where Alfred and Yao literally take on the roles of their heads of state. I am the last person who shies away from politicizing all the nations. 

Rather, I am pointing out how China is being exceptionalized from wider fandom trends of depoliticizing the characters; I find this pattern troubling, as over-politicizing a Western nation (like America) does not have the same implications as over-politicizing China. 

The latter reflects dangerous trends on how Chinese people, especially Chinese communities abroad, are perceived, how we’re expected to answer for and answer to the Chinese government and its actions, and how, at best, we’re dismissed as being simply brainwashed, and how at worst, we’re seen as enemies of the populace, threats to national integrity. When we are seen to be “acting out of line,” we are viewed as perpetual outsiders, agents of a foreign regime. The same judgment is not levied towards white Americans, even those who live in America, vote in America, and benefit from American imperialism. 

I witnessed the dramatic rise in anti-Asian hate crimes and Sinophobic rhetoric during the COVID-19 pandemic: I was living in Atlanta during the 2020 spa shootings and I didn’t leave my dorm room for a week afterward. I worried over my mother, who every week, went to shop at local Chinese grocery stores in the area. I heard people spread conspiracy theories about how the virus was engineered by the Chinese government and spread by Chinese in the West as part of some grand conspiracy to ensure Chinese global dominance. All of this, led me to become conscious (in a way I hadn’t been before) of how conflating Chinese people with the Chinese government was frequently employed by bigots to mask their violent prejudice under the guise of “being anti-CCP.”

As a result, being Chinese diaspora is an emotionally fraught experience. Not only are we under constant scrutiny by others, but Chinese Mainlander diaspora specifically like myself face rejection when we choose to go against our families’ beliefs. But despite that, despite me being born and raised in the United States and living with this sort of bigotry all my life, it still cuts me deeply to see someone so quickly accuse me of supporting Chinese imperialist actions, despite me never posting in favor of the CCP in the past, simply because I pointed out how sinophobia manifests. It cuts even deeper to see people, people I know, agree with that assessment, and how I have to go out and publicly reveal details of my personal life to try and exonerate myself. 

It really does hurt.