#I don't know who else to tag honestly
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(first screenshot is when Keiji is believed to be in a burning coffin, second one is after second Maple fight)
I believe that these lines could show Shin's mindset a bit. He advises Sara to do something, to act when probability of Keiji's survival looks slim. Meanwhile, when Yabusame can't be brought back he tries to get Sara to accept this fact. Partly because he was in this situation before.
Right from the start he's said he's destined to die. He trembled in fear, he saw his own shadow, but what did he choose to do? To move forward and fight no matter how small (or non-existant) his chances are. Of course, his actions weren't morally correct, but even if guilt of it is getting to him, what other choice does he have in his mind, to put up with his fate and die? No, he's defiant to the very end, when voted he even runs from execution in vain attempt to survive despite knowing it's worthless. In his last moments Shin expresses dissapointment (lightly speaking) that after all he did he still dies, meaning that while he didn't want to act the way he did, he believed that was his only way forward, the way to beat 0%. So Shin understands that if Keiji might be alive they should do something about it.
On the other hand, you can't do anything about past events. Probably that's how he felt about indirectly killing Mishima, Kai and Joe. I presume he felt sorry, but once again, if he just sits there and wallows in nightmares it won't be effective. He has to think about those alive and not dead. Also, in my mind that could be his attitude toward Kanna's death. While clearly hurt by it, Shin still moves forward working with others, even if begrudgingly. That's the reason I hope he won't try to get revenge for Kanna (at least in one ending), because she's already gone too. It would be worthless to attempt to kill off the rest, it's better to think about future and not the past. Thus, when witnessing yet another body Shin accepts it, even if he isn't indifferent.
Maybe, just maybe... he saw himself in Sara, tired from all of this, with little hope, shouldering burden of deaths. Maybe he wanted to make girl that dwells on past and worries about present to not look in the past, to do something in same present so that they have a future
#there's also deleted scene where Sara refuses to sign the consent form resulting in everybody dying#and Shin asks why didn't Sara let him die when he chose but now she gives up#and when Midori jokes that ow we die together Shin clearly expresses that he doesn't want to#meaning he still didn't give up and wants to live#your turn to die#shin tsukimi#sara chidouin#I don't know who else to tag honestly
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Broke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's too violent
Woke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's afraid to hurt people
#obviously it's always funny to do the whole 'what do u have there Damian?' 'a knife!' 'nO' thing#and like make him a horrendous and silly evil gremlin who can and will pull a sword out in the middle of a parking lot to fight#but listen#he doesn't like the assassin background that much and once he learns about like The Normal World he's honestly in anguish about it#that's canon! that's the truth! (right?) (the whole thing with Goliath?? I'm not making it up right???)#i think he's just the kind of guy who loves his swords because they're what he knows and they're a strong connection to his family#but I think it's nice if he spends his time on field telling others what to do because everyone else learned to fight the OTHER way#(by defending and subduing opponents rather than maiming and killing)#so he prefers to take on a tactician general role despite being perfectly capable as a fighter because he knows what everyone else needs#to do to succeed in fights - especially when things are a bit of a mess - but is afraid to be too rough or scary or violent or Demon Son-is#(the things that make him feel like he doesn't belong in a happy civilian world - WHICH IS WHAT HE WANTS IN MY HUMBLE OPINION.)#in this essay I will explain why this allows for him to show awe and love for each of his siblings' fight styles by utilising all of them#and I just think Dami Babs and Tim could really work together as a detective/tactician comms team (with varying distances from the field)#because I think that'd be so fun: Tim is solving (mid-range) Babs is watching/providing supports (far) and Damian is commanding (close)#because the others are like The Bruisers (in their non-lethal way) who trust themselves to only hurt as much as is needed and are good at i#PLUS babs is SO stretched thin and literally the backbone of the bats so I just want a future where some of the kids become HER robins yk#anyway back to the point of the post:#it's kind of alluded to in 2017 supersons; EVERYONE in it comments on how Robin is JUST doing flips and shouting orders#and jon is like The Muscle and the one Doing Stuff - but Jon IS following orders 85% of the time and it works out well for them because#that dynamic of 'I'm not sure I can do it right by myself and I trust you to be my partner so we can do it right together' really#is my favourite like.. they're both filling these ideas of who they're meant to be and they just :( they just seek their own path together#oh no I lost the point again immediately and it became another WHY DO THEY SEPARATE THEM rant#I just think it's really fun to think of Damian as 'the most well trained fighter but ALSO the most likely to step back from a fight'#like yeah when we add in my thoughts on pit rage it adds some angst but that doesn't matter here in THIS post#have I even talked about my hc on pit rage/madness? I don't think I have LMAO (maybe another day)#anyway it's late I'm tired why do I always chat in the tags so much#my posts are literally all in the tags 2% post 98% tags smh#damian wayne#damian al ghul#damian al ghul wayne
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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman
part one | part two
#me when everybody is posting the maple leafs sad narratives and i am furiously generating this like HOLD ONNNN HOLD ONNNNNNN#honestly i could've been SOOOO MEAN about this because i saw this poem & alexandra got the preview on the poetry blog#where i just reblogged the first half of this poem point blank with the tags#kyle dubas#toronto maple leafs#& got yelled at aksdaksf & it literally only didn't go on this blog bc i usually write more & then it was percolating & i looked up the poe#& it was only the FIRST PART i'd reblogged i didn't know there was more & then brain immediately went brrrrr ok time for an edit.#this is a long one lol & i also have no idea if it makes sense to anybody but me but because y'all know me i will always overexplain so!!#my reasoning for the reasons obvi kyle. that's a given i hope he's doing well i hope he & his family r good but man is not coming in to wor#the second edit took me a stupid amount of time bc i am nitpicky but also i learned how to do the layers & transparency from the claude edi#that actually y'all don't know about lmao but i lost my mind when i saw how perfectly those pictures align i was scrolling getty & was like#ok december i'm gonna do a headline one (in my brain with the november/june quote about choosing to die again) w/ maple leafs playoff odds#how they say at winter break you know who's gonna be in the playoffs & who'll win & they thought they had a shot but it's mitchie overlaid#the 2003-04 team who'd last won a playoff round with the atlantic division stats from dec for 22-23 & how long it's been & dec headlines#i wanted breakup/recent/never loved to be a recent trade acquisition somebody who bounced around & somebody else so i almost had simmer#brodie & zar but then i wanted to make murray for breakup at any time &i forgot zar & him were on the pens together &it hit me like a truc#bc there's a photo of the two of them EXACTLY the same so close it's scary of this one but them as pens so they had to be it & i did always#know never loved again was mitchie. sorry. also mitchie in the penalty box the last game but i couldn't find footage of it & this one works#no i could not find a photo of tyler bertuzzi fighting a leaf for a dog looked at me yes i tried.#i almost made the bunting photo jt but instead it's 'bunting a rat etc' anyway the one i really feel unhinged about is dead pets bc at firs#i was gonna make it the handshake line & look to see if the leafs had drafted anybody on the panthers (dead pet former draft pick)#& they had & it was carter verhaeghe & i couldn't get a good pic of matthews & verhaeghe but it's fine bc i thought about the mo/luke schen#narrative (in which they are a perfect d pair long lost) & schenn was drafted by the leafs & that line fits jut trust me. also how i feel#about the kniesy luminous line that one possessed me it had to be kniesy idk why. i almost put gussy as girls are too pretty though ALSO#did u like my joke. daylight SAVINGS time on the goalie. thank u. also my photo magic on the jt (me very poorly editing in him as an isle)#OK ALSO HOLD ONNNNN there is a part two but i have to wait for the Content i want it will come out as soon as [redacted] or sooner#if i get bad at waiting &everyone will pretend like it is always the way it will be once i have the photos i want. speaking of did the leaf#simply not take a team photo this year?? it Does Not Exist for me i have tried very hard to look for it also i'm excited for part 2#one of them is named oh you're so unhinged for this one & the finished product is you're unhinged in ways you didn't even know u were sorry#liv in the replies
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"Willow is a bad character because she's a mary sue" me when I missed the entire point of the show
#scrolling her tag and going insane#side note there is apparent a toh cr1t tag#I will not look at it for annoying takes to make fun off (affirmations)#at least i won't tonight who knows what the future holds#anyway im obsessed bc they were like#'imagine if willow was just a fan character in fanfics you'd all think she was pretty cringe huh'#NUHUH IM NORMAL UR WATCHING THE CRINGE CULTURE TOWARDS HARMLESS THINGS IS STUPID SHOW#also jesus fucking christ do you honestly think that a disabled coded woman of color being a badass is somehow overdone#like the reason ppl criticized MS's in the first place is bc we rlly do not need another white abled girlypop to be the super magical#chosen one and never be in the wrong ever#disabled ppl and woc don't GET that fantasy#also her powers aren't disproportionate to the universe at all#yes she gained a lot of power in two months but she's spent the past several years repressing her very potent magic to mold herself to#other ppls expectations the whole fucking thing is a metaphor for how disabled ppl who now have accomodations/can live their life on their#own terms do much better much faster than people give them credit for#and once again she's really powerful yes but she was for example nothing compared to Darius#she doesn't take on a coven head (though a battle between her and Terra would have been super interesting) and win and she can take care of#1-2 coven scouts on her own but needs support and help from others#if there are more of them#ALSO EVERYONE ELSE GETS MORE POWERFUL ALSO#why isn't Amity a mary sue for going from only making small abominations and needing a training wand to being like the 3rd strongest#abomination magic user? bc shes white?#their main complaint seemed to be that willow demasculated hunter tho#so like#lmao cope. seethe.
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Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.
Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.
That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.
The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.
Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.
Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.
#team fortress 2#tf2#that's it that's the only tags i am putting this in. maybe someday i will have the balls to do more but for now that's about it#while i have the chance - and since posts with more of my yapping in the tags don't pop in people's feeds much - i might as well ramble-#-about these guys here. self-inserts or not i'm projecting only half of my bullshit on each one of them. creativity 👍#backup is tall and pale and has sharp canines and more of a dull brown hair colour with tired grey eyes. no amount of babyface or soft-#-hands can really help a motherfucker when he's grimacing so much because he just Hates being around half the people on the team.#cleaner meanwhile is on the shorter side and has constantly flushed skin and brighter colours and whatnot. you can't see it because of the-#-mask most of the time but they do smile a lot more and have a more cheery disposition towards life and see the whole team as their friends!#backup transitioned fully (albeit not very legally lmao) and is scared shitless of not being seen as a man although the last time that ever-#-came up was years ago. he holds onto his last name as part of the heritage he loves and loathes at the same time - attached to his culture-#-and religion and bloodline while also resentful of his family and the regime he knows someone else on the team suffered under.#cleaner just kinda binds and calls it a day. he only does it to confuse the team because while he doesn't identify with being a girl he-#-loves the confused looks his epic gender reveal moment gets. they do not remember their family name or where they grew up or what even got-#-them to this kind of mental state. and he's chill with it he values the here and now way more than some dark edgy backstory.#backup despite trying to be an honest man is afraid of vulnerability as well. he stubbornly refuses to express love towards certain people-#-lest they feel disgusted and turn away. he's afraid of consequences afraid of losing the people he loves afraid of his ''interests'' being-#-what drives them away. it doesn't by the way and he just wasted time being a cold indecisive loser for several months lmao#cleaner wears a suit that hides all of them yes but they pretty much never lie. he is always his truest self and he can always just burn-#-people who don't like him enough to make it a problem. they are a lot more comfortable indulging in their interests - be they innocent-#-and juvenile or violent and dangerous. he is quite open with his affection and his fascinations that backup would rather keep secret.#i want to establish that these two can only exist in separate universes because they both have feelings towards the funny assistant lady-#-and the funny inventor guy (selfshipping for the winnn) and would fight over those two. cleaner would win by the way#it's also a really funny point of comparison. cleaner is objectively more fucked up than backup and still managed to be more normal about-#-their feelings and live as a healthier and happier person than that guy. comedic gold honestly#OKAY I'M DONE if you read up to here you get uhhh a cookie :-)
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don’t, if you value your life (one-sided nier x reader)
notes: i have had the idea of this fic in my head ever since i finished replicant like a year ago. of all the things i expected to write on my days off, this was absolutely not one of them, but at midnight a demon possessed my body and puked out the fic. though i think of it more of a writing exercise since anyone knows me knows that my typical genre of fic is completely on the other side of the spectrum of this.
contains: angst (no happy ending), canon-typical violence, mentions of blood, suicide ideation, very minor stalking, character death, largely un-beta read, language (Kainé is present after all).
wc: 3.9k words
if you read this and think i need to add a tag, please tell me.
Don't go into that village.
Don't go near it.
Don't, if you value your life.
The words of your elders are etched into your brain— your mind. It's a mantra, a hymn, a warning. The village in question is a quiet place, nestled in verdant hills, built upon the ruins of the old world. They say it's peaceful there, pretty even, but the village houses a great and terrible monster. One that will kill on sight— without hesitation, without mercy.
When you were younger, the curiosity, morbid and insatiable clawed at your heart. Maybe the elders were over exaggerating, maybe they were mistaken, maybe there was no monster at all. You thought about it sometimes, thought about tempting fate and visiting the forbidden village. Someone said that there's a library there and you'd love to see one, even just once. However, everyone who ignored the words of elders— who set off to see that village never, ever returned.
That, in of itself, was enough to prove the monster was real.
And so, you stayed away.
You didn't need to see a library, the view of the ocean near your home was beautiful enough to fill your heart and mind, leaving no room for thoughts of merciless, bloodthirsty monsters. For the most part, your existence has been quiet and peaceful.
At least it was, until the monster left its village.
Until the monster came to the seaside town you called your home.
Truth be told, it's not the first time the monster has appeared in your hometown, but its visits were well communicated— the sentries stationed outside the town quick to inform everyone to hide for the monster was on the way. Those visits were spent in the shadows hiding with bated breath— hoping and praying the monster would never notice. Your mother had hidden you well away, afraid that even laying eyes on the monster would condemn you to a fate far too sad. So you didn't know, you didn't know—
The screaming through the town is sudden and shrill, the sound running chills down your body. It is a siren biding you to run if you value your life. You and those around you act on instinct, running, scampering across the streets. Some run further into town, some toward the harbor, you run toward the lighthouse, abandoned since its caretaker died some years ago. You think it will be safest. The monster is said to be indiscriminate with its slaughtering, but also intelligent— surely, it won't come looking for murder in a place where no one is supposed to be. And if it does… you can choose to end it yourself rather than at the monster's bloody hands.
You ascend the lighthouse, two steps at a time. The cacophony of carnage is muffled here— distant, but still ominous in the background. You quickly reach the top of the tower and the town is so saturated in the stench of death that not even the salty sea breeze that's filling your lungs can displace it. From here you can see it all, your peers running in all directions, scattering like petals in the wind.
It is here, for the very first time, you see the monster.
If not for the large, bloodied greatsword in his hands, you would think him more a man than a monster. You cannot make much of his features from atop the lighthouse, save for his hair, shimmering like a beautiful white pearl in the sunlight. A strange, morbid frustration tears at your stomach as you strain your eyes in efforts to get a better look at this monster. He rushes at a group, too slow, too unfortunate and looks to effortlessly cleave them, slicing their bodies into ribbons.
You should be horrified. Disgusted. Afraid.
Instead, you are transfixed.
Your body is stock still as you bear witness to the monster's massacre. He is every bit as cruel as the elders said— there is no hesitation, no mercy in the swing of his sword as he fells your neighbors and friends one by one. You are lucky that you ran to such a secluded area, just as you figured, the monster of a man doesn't bother to come your way. You wonder if he thinks there is no carnage to be found in such an abandoned place.
Do monsters even think?
You remain there, rooted to the spot until you see the monster, a bloodstained pearl, wander toward the town's entrance. Once he's gone, your legs finally give out from beneath you, the weight of it all hitting you like a tidal wave. Eventually, you crawl your way down the steps of the lighthouse and into the town proper to find any survivors.
After a few hours, everyone is rounded up. Only just a fourth of your small community remains. No one is without loss— friends, family, lovers are all victims to the monster's rampage. Your heart seizes in your chest when you realize your mother is among the lost. She had been home when the disaster came to pass, waiting for you to return from an errand she had sent you out for. Had she come looking for you when all hell broke loose? Was she searching for you when she drew her last breath? Was your unconfirmed safety what cost her her life?
Despaired and disgusted, you retch.
You should have run home instead of to the lighthouse. Because you didn't, your mother is dead. Or maybe, if you had gone back, you would have perished together, you holding your mother in a shielding embrace as the monster brings the sword down. Or, more morbidly, the monster taking your life before your mother's eyes before claiming her life as well. You don't know. You throw up again.
The remaining shuffle to the beach, erecting crude graves of shells and stones there. One of the older members of the community recites a prayer, something reminiscent of the olden days before the ebbing tide washes the graves away.
In the days after the slaughter, the community is especially quiet, mourning. You don't know what to do in the absence of your mother, most of your friends were among the deceased as well: you have no one left. Some of the few remaining turn to anger in their grief: marching off to the forbidden village to claim what all know to be suicide disguised as declarations of revenge. You think it's because they don't know what to do either.
There is almost no one left in your small seaside town and the decision is made to find another community. You follow wordlessly, carrying nothing but your memories of your quiet and peaceful life because they are all that you have left.
Fortunately, there is another community close to your seaside town, sequestered in a building large enough to home at least a dozen families. From the outside the building looks like a fancy mansion, but the interior creeps you out– it's too quiet, too eerie. To make matters worse, the community lives beneath the mansion, in what seems to be a mad scientist's lab. You almost feel like at any moment you're going to become an experiment. Some of the members of this new community seem like they already are one.
The only good thing about your new home is that there is a library. Shelves and shelves of books line the wall. It is the only place in the mansion that has character, but there are rules that restrict visiting the library. You don't care. The rules don't matter much any more.
Nothing really matters much any more.
It is in the library where you see the monster a second time.
While perusing what appears to be some kind of fairy tale you hear footsteps in the hall and you instinctively scamper off into a hiding spot. You're not in the mood to be caught and lectured by the guards for breaking the rules tonight. The doors swing open and it's not the guards who walk in but the monster himself, accompanied by two— three others?
You watch from the shadows as the monster and his comrades move about the library. As he chats with them, you can't help but think of him as more of a man than a monster. He banters with… a floating book? How strange. How interesting. You'd love to see the contents of a talking book one day.
It is much easier to make out the man's features in such close quarters. You think that he can't be much older than you. He's handsome, much more handsome than a monster has any right being. There's some odd urge to get a better look at his face pooling in your stomach. Your instinct is to act on it, to just get closer and look and look and—
Don't go near it.
Don't, if you value your life.
The old mantra holds you still like a spell, the warning coursing through your veins, keeping you taut. But still you keep watching the man, the monster. He laughs with what you have come to realize are his friends and you think he almost seems human. Is this really the same monster that wreaked havoc on your little town a few months ago?
The man and his friends soon leave the library, the talking book bickering with the man's lady friend about her choice in dress. When you are sure that they are gone and not coming back you emerge from your hiding place and settle yourself in with the fairy tale book you had been reading. Hours pass before you've read your fill and you make your way back to the cold, metal depths your community calls home.
What you find upon arrival is not the low, but comforting chatter of your new friends and new neighbors, but dozens upon dozens of bloodstains— fresh and sticky. The stench of death is thick in the air, a sickening and stifling miasma. Before you can think, your feet are racing through the halls, screams reverberating against the walls as you search and search and search.
But you find no one.
You are the only survivor.
No one is left and you don't know what to do with yourself. There is a distant thought bidding you to return to the library, to drown yourself in books, in stories of another land, another time, another place where things matter and happy endings exist.
There is another thought, closer, louder and it is of the man. The handsome man. The terrible monster. Something in you desires to seek him out. Not for revenge, because you know that would be pointless, but merely because you want to get a better look at his face before you meet your inevitable end.
You make it your goal— your reason to live. At this point, you're not even sure if you can call what you're doing living. You leave the mansion with this goal; it's all you have left.
The journey to the forbidden village is not that long, it only takes a day on foot. But when you get to the edge you hesitate, unsure.
What if the monster of a man isn't here?
You shake your head. Nonsense. This is his home. No other monsters have come to destroy it for he is surely the strongest one in all the land. He will definitely be here.
Shuffling past what looks to be an abandoned camp, you make your way toward the village gates. Naturally, there are guards, but you manage to hop the fence, avoiding their attention.
The village, despite being forbidden, is fairly peaceful. Quiet. It reminds you of your seaside home. You keep to the shadows as you steal past a row of merchants, watching as a few children play tag around a cobblestone fountain.
Now that you're here, you realize you have no clue where to find the monster of a man. But there is one building, sitting atop a grassy hill above all the rest. You think it's a good idea to start there.
You slink your way up the hill and you spot a few more children playing in the grass. To your surprise, a couple notice you. Surprising you further, they wave. Shyly, you wave back before bolting toward the tall building, not wanting to remain in the same spot lest the children go running to their parents. When you reach the top of the hill, you look back. The children are still playing and you breathe a sigh of relief before entering the building.
It turns out that this is the famed library of the forbidden village. The feeling of joy, strange yet familiar, bubbles pleasantly in your stomach. You’re here to find the monster, but surely it’s fine if you take a detour. This library is much bigger than the one at the mansion— there are more books to bury yourself in, more stories to fill the void in your heart that’s been growing ever since you left your seaside town. You peruse the titles on the shelves and when you find one you don’t recognize you pull at it, freeing it from the shelf and watching as it falls to the ground, the smack echoing throughout the otherwise silent library. You freeze, fearful that someone will come running to find the source of the noise. When no one does, you scoop up the book and scamper off to a quiet, dark corner of the library to read.
Part way through the story, the main doors of the library slam open, demanding your attention and you look up from the top of your book only to find the monster of a man. But it doesn’t look like he’s here to read, instead he briskly walks the length of the lobby. Your eyes remain glued to his form as he runs up the stairs and disappears onto the library’s second floor. The thought to follow him crosses your mind, but you remain still. He will have to come back down the stairs when he leaves— you will follow him then. You turn your attention back to the story, a little saddened that your attention is divided: it was just starting to get good. Maybe you’ll get a chance later to reread it, give it your full attention.
Some time later, you hear footsteps again and quietly close your book. The man appears, descending the staircase, his handsome face marred by a scowl. Idly, you wonder what happened to make him upset like that, but ultimately, it doesn’t matter. You stare from your dark little corner, waiting for him to leave before you follow after him, sure to keep yourself out of sight, sure to keep yourself at a safe distance.
Don't go near it.
Don't, if you value your life.
The monster heads toward a house, fenced in and half-dilapidated. Despite that, there’s something about the home that is warm, cozy. A stark difference from the terribly violent image of the monster that the elders painted for you. You watch, hidden in the shadow of a nearby building, as the monster tends to a flower bed next to his home, watering and weeding them before he heads inside. Through the window you see the glimmer of light, and once you’re sure he won’t suddenly come out and kill you where you stand, you draw closer to the house.
Curious, you examine the flowers. You are not an expert on plants, but they look well cared for. It’s strange. Why would a monster so lovingly tend to plants? A monster by nature, by definition, is a creature of destruction, so why? You don’t understand.
But you want to, against all instinct, against all odds, you want to.
You start to follow after the monster as he goes about his business, or more accurately, the business of others, running errands for them: delivering packages and messages, fishing, committing atrocities against your people. You’re always sure to stay a safe distance away— close enough to observe, yet far enough to not get wrapped up in the carnage. But sometimes, a reckless rush runs through your veins and you steal closer, listening in on his conversations with his comrades, his friends. You learn their names, their personalities and while they become more human in your eyes, their images are still blurry in your mind’s eye; you are not yet foolish enough to get close enough to get a good look at their faces. You are not yet foolish enough to delude yourself into thinking of them as friends.
One evening, at the camp you hear the scantily clad woman— Kainé, very, very loudly announce that she is going ‘to go take a piss.’ The talking book— Weiss, complains loudly about her crudeness, disgusted, as he always is, with her choice of language. She scoffs, dismissing him with a wave before walking away.
Walking toward you.
You scamper away, running toward a large, nearby bush and hiding within. She shouldn’t see you, or at least you hope she won’t. She approaches another bush and you look away, respecting her privacy as much as you can.
“Come out, I know you’re there.”
Her voice is a low growl, and you think she can’t possibly be talking to you. While your observations have led you to believe that there is a soft core to her brash outer exterior, there is little doubt in your mind that, much like the monster of a man, Kainé would slaughter you on sight.
“Hurry up, I don’t have all fuckin’ night.” She stomps over to your bush, and you’re sure she can’t see you, but still she leans in and whispers, her voice both seductive and violent, “Or if you want, I can just end your miserable existence right damn here.”
Instinct takes over and you run out of the bush, away from her.
“There you are, you little fucker,” she snorts. You back away slowly, as she straightens herself out. Kainé eyes you like a bug, one that she is about to crush beneath the heel of her shoe. You swallow thickly, unsure if you should try to run or not. The only thing you are sure of is that if you do run, you’re dead.
“So, why’ve you been following us, huh?” Kainé demands, arms crossed over her chest, frowning. She must know that she could kill you in an instant, must know that you couldn’t lay a finger on her if you tried to attack her. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed a fucking shade like you lurking around us for weeks.”
Shade. That’s what they call you and your people. Shades— condemned to the shadows, unable to live peacefully with the humans, or, as the elders called them, the replicants… whatever that meant. You eye Kainé warily, wondering why she is asking you a question when it is known that humans can’t communicate with shades, can’t converse with them— if they could, then maybe the monster of a man would just be a man, his beautiful hands devoid of the blood of your friends, your neighbors… your mother.
“Hey!” Kainé shouts. “I’m talking to you, the least you can do is answer.”
She’s right. Even if she can’t understand, she probably can hear the words from your Shade mouth. You take a deep breath and speak for what feels like the first time in an eternity. “...it’s because of… him.”
Your voice sounds so strange in your ears, a sound more foreign than silence itself. Kainé stares at you, scowling like she knows, like she can understand the Shade tongue with which you speak. It’s hard to tell, and you take one, two, three steps closer to look in her eyes, risking your life more and more with each forward step that you take. You’ve read that the eyes are the window to the soul, so maybe if you can see them clearly, you’ll be able to tell, to know, if she really, really understands.
Fortunately for you, Kainé doesn’t move, nor does she speak, but still you hear a voice— not hers, erupt in a manic fit of laughter from her body. Her scowl deepens, clearly annoyed, but it seems that it’s not directed at you.
“How cute, the little shade has a crush!” the voice howls, mocking you.
Your face scrunches in bewilderment. The source of the voice… is Kainé herself, but she is clearly not speaking… You shake your head. No, that’s not right. This isn’t a crush, this isn’t infatuation, it’s merely curiosity. “No… that’s not… that’s right. I’m just… I just…”
The laughter grows louder, more derisive, “Oh don’t fucking delude yourself. You’ve been stalking after us for how long? It’s frankly kinda gross if you ask me!”
Kainé mutters something under her breath that you can’t hear, presumably at the mysterious voice making a mockery of you.
Your stomach churns violently, a grotesque concoction of fear and unease. He’s not wrong though. It is kind of gross how you’ve been following this group around like a pathetic puppy. Watching them at a distance, wanting to get closer, to satiate your curiosity, yet staying far away because that’s the only way you can coexist with the monster and his friends.
You think of the monster, terrible and cruel in his extermination of your people, the Shades. You think of the man, gentle and kind as he tends to the flowers by his house. The images in your mind overlap. Terrible and gentle. Kind and cruel. The images blur.
You can only see the smile he’s offered to his friends.
It’s all you have left now, and you don’t know what to do with yourself.
You are not one of his friends, the image of his smile is something you’ve stolen, held in the shadows, kept like a treasure— a secret that should have never been yours.
In fact, it never was.
“Hey Kainé?” A third voice enters the fray and you feel as if you have been drenched in ice water, thrust into the icy depths of the ocean, your entire body freezing over. “You’ve been taking a while, Emil and I were—”
He stops short. You know it’s because he sees you.
Don't go near it.
Don't, if you value your life.
Everything happens so fast, before you can run, before you can even blink. The spear that was affixed to his back is now in his hands, its tip embedded deep into your abdomen. The pain is mind shattering as it spreads throughout your body, like a wildfire in a forest.
The monster is close, closer than he has ever been, than he ever will be, the view of his face clear, and unmarred by distance. He is devoid of expression as he draws even closer, plunging the spear impossibly deeper into your fracturing body. Rather than the pain, you focus what attention you have left on his face.
It’s what you wanted, to get a better look at his face before meeting your inevitable end.
But now that you’re here, you realize, regretfully, that you maybe want a little bit more.
You want to live in another land, another time, another place, where you’re not just a Shade and you can have a happy ending.
With what sense you have left, you focus on his eyes. They’re clear, and blue as the sky on a cloudless day. As your consciousness ebbs away, fading rapidly from existence, you distantly think that at least the last thing you get to see is breathtakingly beautiful. It would have been nice, if you had had longer to enjoy it.
You have nothing left.
You are nothing but a bloodstain on the monster’s spear.
#nier x reader#nier x you#brother nier x reader#brother nier x you#uh#not sure what else to tag this#i honestly feel like i just barfed words onto a doc#so i don't know if it will have the emotional impact i'd like to have#this is so out of my element lmao#well i hope the three readers who read it like it anyway lmao
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Apparently that's called the 'irresistible force paradox'
#oc f/o#f/o art#fictional other#self shipping#self insert#oc#original character#they're patient with me#also I finally draw Hadri with a different form!#I want to do more with their shape shifting but I haven't made much that turns out well#small vent in tags upcoming if you don't want to read#Feeling bad about posting but I shouldn't just give up#In some way social media isn't for me because I take things too personally#but if I'm going to meet people I have some common ground with I don't know where else I'd look#common ground with something that means something to me#I want to meet people that don't suck to talk to#And actively have things they want to talk to me about that we're both interested in#Tired of being just ears.#I'm talking about my family here not anyone on the site btw#I just wish there were people who wanted to talk in the same way I want to talk#same level of energy I guess#Sorry to vent in silly drawings but it is what it is#Fun fact if you read this far...Hadri would like Evangelion#I don't know why that came to mind today but it makes total sense#They're a deity-like person so religion is interesting and they'd be drawn in by the drama#I honestly don't know how they'd examine media since their setting is basically medieval so Hadri's never really watched anything#Maybe a play?#I'd be nice to know what Hadri would think of things I like#But my tastes are very colorful... watched Ind/go Park for example and have it stuck in my head now#Popp/ playtime and Ind/go Park seem to both be going for fnaf Portal and I am feeling something
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but some things that are acephobic:
Telling an ace person details about sex/your sex life after they made it clear they're uncomfortable with it
Insist that the ace person is missing out by not engaging in sex
Tell an ace person that they won't know until they try it
So please stop it
Sincerely, a tired and traumatized ace
#cw acephobia#cw aphobia#I feel like these might just seem like little micro aggressions but after a certain point it becomes macroaggressions#And this honestly applies to aros as well with romance and.. honestly everyone else about anything. It's rude af#And I do know who needs to hear this but I blocked them. There was a strong chance that they'd double down and insist theyre just having fun#And yes this is about Him because of course it is#Fandom is aphobic unfortunately#Or just ignorant at best#I'm not sure how to tag this#Don't really want to tag the fandom#nillisaie talks#psa
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So crazy how I can go from having a great day to all of a sudden remembering an upsetting dream I had last night and it just. Instantly ruins my mood </3
#negative#wtf I was doing so good why now of all times :[#had an upsetting dream about stumbling upon a bunch of ship art of Zooble with other characters and in the dream my phone froze on it#and I couldn't turn it off or exit the app or anything#so like. instead of being upset then my brain decided to make me forget about it until just now for some reason#wow cool thanks brain 👍 (HEAVY sarcasm btw)#I've been like Super paranoid about coming across ship art today and didn't know why until now#gonna be completely honest with how stressed I've already been combined eith this right now#if I see them shipped eith anyone else I may start spiraling#dw though I've been trying my best to avoid scrolling through anything for too long#I'm not looking in any tags where I could come across it#I'm blocking anyone I come across in my recommendations who doesn't tag their ship art properly#I've basically been doing my own thing for the most part today#I'm tryinf to do Anything to dostract myself so I don't 5hink about it too long#I'm trying to work on another drawing#drawing is honestly the knly thing that helps me calm down when I'm feeling any kind of negatice emotions lol#so sorry to ramble like this#I've already had to bottle up so much the past week or so so i need to get at least one thing off my chest
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Okay okay. I feel a little bad about my cruel poll. So I’m going to take requests for 3 video edits. First come first serve. I will take requests from asks, DMs, or replies. This is my second time taking requests and I loved all of the requests last time, y’all gave me such good ideas and inspiration BUT this time the rules are a bit different.
I will be taking 3 requests for video edits. Here are the rules:
·The first 3 people to request a video edit, will get one. If I get more than 3, I cannot guarantee I will make it, but I will try my best. But the first 3 are guaranteed.
·The request needs to be from a show 2022 or prior. The earlier the show, the better. We’ve had so many beautiful and gorgeous shows lately, but let’s so the older shows some love. (I know I know 2022 shows aren’t the old but I didn’t want to limit it that much.)
·The requests need to include a song and a pairing that you would like. If you only pick one or the other, I will pick for you and you might not like the combo you get.
Please keep in mind:
·Please be patient. I work a full-time job and I now somehow have stumbled into a social life. So I don’t have a lot of spare time. And these edits take me a long time to make. It might be a few months before it gets done, but it will get done.
·Only one request per person please. If you do have multiple things you want and can’t choose, tell me all of them and I can either choose or tell you what I think I can do the best on.
·Pairings need to be from shows that I can easily download, or I will request links/videos from you (I am not good with technology at all. I’m just kinda winging it tbh).
·Please keep in mind that I am self-taught and not very experienced, so the finished products might be rough around the edges, but they will all be made with love.
·I will post your request and tag you in it, so if you make a request on anon, you’ll just have to check the tag “rae takes requests” on my tumblr periodically to see if your request has been made.
·I retain the right to veto any song/pairing, but if I do, I will let you pick another one.
If you’re interested in having someone make a video edit for you, please let me know! I do have a lot of fun making them and a lot of the time I discover awesome music this way too!
#rae takes requests#honestly please request video edits i can't keep playing powerwash simulator#it's making me motion sick but i cannot stop playing it#i just realized i posted this but then didn't add any tags where people who don't follow me can find it if they would be interested#whoops so i'll do that now don't mind me#thai bl#korean bl#japanese bl#taiwanese bl#vietnamese bl#asianlgbtqdramas#i don't know what else to tag it with but whatever#i'm gonna go take a nap now
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Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy
You have... very very very very very very very very smart people you know, and they're say something that not only isn't true, but literally is as opposite of the truth as it's possible to be... and you'll... gently inform them "hey, it's actually a bit more like this" and then they just kinda... go on saying literally the exact same thing
I'm not sure if it's just that... I often feel like I must be very bad at communicating, or people must just not notice/ignore a lot of what I say, but... I don't know
Like dearest friend, you've said something as absurd as... I don't know, it's hard to say without saying it, but honest to god about as absurd as saying the United States was a part of the USSR, that level of completely getting it backwards
...and it just doesn't seem to matter when I try to explain it... I legit don't even know if you read what I said
Really end up feeling like I'm going nuts sometimes
#to be clear; I don't mind people disagreeing with me (though that's not what's happened here... I don't think I came into it at all)#but all I need in order to be able to work with disagreement is just... knowing you at least heard and understood me#like if it's 'I get that you think that vanilla is a good flavor of icecream; but I really prefer chocolate'... ok; this works for me#it's that... a lot of the time it honest feels more like 'what are you talking about? vanilla isn't a flavor' where... huh?#let's take a real example; not everyone needs to agree with me on nuclear#but like... someone saying 'I get that it's way safer these days; but I still worry about waste storage'... well ok then#but if it's just like 'but it's dangerous and will explode' even after I've explained about the designs now#where there's a salt plug that with melt and drain before anything can happen; and these materials don't like to run away#...and it's not like they're asking me to back up the source; it's like I never said anything at all...#what am I supposed to do here? you feel me on that? do you start to get why I feel like I'm going crazy when that's how it often feels?#no one is obliged to agree with me but... literally just active listening would fix this... say you heard me and we're good#acknowledge that I voiced something and it's been noted#honestly... honestly my who life it's felt like I must somehow actually be invisible#...to an extent maybe I'm a figment of my own imagination; I might well be a ghost that's lonely and makes you all up#...for all the impact my actions have#or maybe literally everything I say just comes out garbled... is that it?#this post is about something very specific; but it's also about something that happens a lot with a lot of different people#on a broader scale; why is it no one else seems to be able to connect the dots#and these aren't like... conspiracy theory dots; these are like russia buys drones from Iran; therefore russia and Iran are partners#that's the kind of dots I'm talking about connecting; please tell me that's not a conspiracy theory to you... it seems plain to me#I don't know... I really don't... I don't think much I say will ever have any impact anywhere on anyone#...honestly a good 90% of the time people don't even respond to what I say#not like my posts here; I mean direct in dms or whatever; I'll say stuff and it's just silence or a new subject#again; across multiple people; it's common... it's... I think it happens more often than it doesn't#I can instantly name 4 conversations with 4 different people that's happened with lately#and that's not counting the 3 where I know the reason why it's happened#I really am something unfit to live; the evidence is endless#mm tag so i can find things later
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Full sketchbook page of younger Constant doodles. I am rotating this OC like never before
#truly what inspired this was finding what they were called before#because they were not always constant! they picked that out as a family tradition#the tiefling thing of having virtue names#i made it into 'around coming of age some cultures of tieflings will change their names to a quality they want to embody'#constant's mom is named passion for example#you could find a mystery or a dashing or a quiet or a resolute#how common that is varies by region and it's tied to specific cultures among tieflings#all the tieflings you see in bg3 have tiefling names and not a single virtue name in there#but constant's mom comes from a family that does it#and constant wanted to as well. they felt it was a good coming of age custom#they picked constant for steadfastness. predictability. regularity. dependability. constancy!#and because they wanted it to be a name name as well since their dad isn't from that tradition#and so having their birth name lets me kind of see who they used to be. well it's the same guy! but they're not constant Yet#they haven't committed to this specific way of living yet#they were almost curiosity. or insight maybe. something like that (in universe. me the creator i never considered anything else seriously)#but they wanted to be there for people more than to focus on discovering things#and their curiosity is so very regular it works with being reliable honestly#you know they'll touch that button and go check the weird book out and lick the spider and drink the potion. you plan for it#by the end of the adventure their companions see some strange little mystery and go 'constant. please don't touch that' by reflex#but yeah it's made me think of baby constant-who-wasn't-constant-yet#i feel weird putting the name out cause it's not a deadname but it kind of is?#they're not that kid anymore in the tiefling tradition way and in the trans way. but also they were that kid in both ways once again#anyway. my darling. constant crestridge. they didn't make it alliterative on purpose btw it just happened#wow i have an ocs tag now#bg3
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chef guy, my beloved, i am picking you up under the armpits and dunking you into another show like a cat going into a bathtub
which one?
cooking crush, of course!
imagine: you've won a major cooking show 220 times (is it rigged? do they just like you as the face of the show? does anyone even see you anymore?), but you feel like you've lost touch with the fun, passion, and creativity of cooking. one day you see a cute little cake shop and decide to go in and the baker is handing out samples of a new recipe he's trying out, and just look how happy he is! and also: he's fine as hell. alexa play couple by sechskies
i like the idea of guy not knowing who chang ma is (he just doesn't watch super monster chef) and treating him like a normal person. because chang ma must be so tired of being the winner all the time when he doesn't even feel like he's doing his best!
which would be very interesting when guy finds that out because
a wild conflict appears! except i'd actually be genuinely interested in seeing how "this isn't even my final form but everyone sings my praises" vs 'i do my absolute best but nobody sees me" would play out
idk. i just want to see them making babies heart eyes at each other
bonus half-baked (lol) idea: the way of the househusband but without the yakuza shit
because i would love a show where guy is simply shopping, cooking, bargain hunting, and simping for his spouse
#bake me please the series#honestly i am SEVERELY tempted to tag everyone else who's on team guy and ask what show you'd airlift him into!#but i don't actually like. know anyone properly? so if you see this and feel like it PLEEEEEEASE tell me your ideas!#also i've never had a cat and would never just dunk them into a bathtub like that#the mental image just amuses me#not even sure if conflict is the right word for guy and chang ma? friction maybe?#just having such different experiences you know#i think it would be interesting#weird post maybe but daydreaming about blorbos makes me feel better you know?
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... well it's that time of the year already. If anyone's got a Star Trek ask I'd love a distraction <3
#was really hoping the new year could be a reset ugh#but this last week Alone has been so tragic#this lovely man who used to be the watchman at my school died#he wasn't even that old#he's been around as long as I can remember... he used to remember all our names & chat with all our parents & grandparents & now he's gone#just out of the blue#& then this girl I literally played with as a kid just randomly got this massive brain bleed out of nowhere#she's YOUNG like she's only a handful of years older than me she's literally still in her 20s I think. she has a newborn baby#now she's in critical care and we don't even know if she'll make it. she's my mum's best friend's daughter we literally hung out#idk this is messing me up a bit... like#it's insane how anything can just happen it's insane how little time we have it's insane#cw death#(I don't have many followers but if anyone wants me to start tagging these vent posts anything else pls do say so lol)#(I honestly thought I'd made the last of them)#(but unfortunately people I know just! keep! dying! & I can't really complain like this anywhere else. sorry)
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how in the WORLD did you get your blog to post once every ten minutes that's incredible
:0 the petrichorvoices aka radiomogai in the flesh!? sending an ask on my hoarding blog!? /pos
anyways, it's because of the queue 2.0 which you can enable in tumblr labs. then you can control the queue a bit more. this is what mine looks like! :D
you can't do it on the app though, so you'd have to do this on desktop, or in the browser of your phone.
also, happy new years, Radio! :3
#suppose i should make an ask tag#( ᶻz ) asks .#( ᶻz ) asker ; petrichorvoices .#goodness i hope i'm doing this ask thing right#before robin left front he said something like that the tags are the place where people usually ramble and such so i guess ill do that#i'm actually not the one who did the queue settings. robin did that before she left#and now i just gotta remember what she told me#it's just me and ghost now. two gay bitches who got a speedrun going over tumblr and its functions and were just left on our own :'P#honestly kind of nervous to post this and i don't know why but i'm just going to do it to get it over with#anyways it's nice to meet you radioヾ(^∇^)#should i call y'all radio? or the petrichor voices? i haven't been in existence that long this is all so confusing /lh#i think i'll just call you guys radio but tell me if you'd rather have me call y'all something else! /gen
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Another big Mario Self-Insert sketch page I’ve just been doodling on for the past few days. I’m obsessed.
#Emile's Arts#Mariocest#YES it gets the tag leave me alone#I haven't even made like a proper POST for this S/I yet I've just been making things for him#I have three different decent references already posted but no actual about#I'll get to that in the next few days. Hopefully#The whole thing is eating my brain it's 4:30 in the AM and I am just#Running thoughts around my head#I put him in the first two Paper Mario games AND Sunshine already (not a big roll just there)#I'm also running with Partner's in Time because I LOVE that game also not a big roll just there but the concept is so cool I keep going bac#Because you know. Babies.#I have no idea what else to do honestly I don't have a lot of other thoughts about other Mario games#So it's unique scenarios time. Like babysitting Junior and such.#I want to isolate and color the Uncle Mario sketch so bad you have no idea#I love Mario and his many many children that he's not the DAD of per-say but he IS in their lives forever now#He takes them to McDonalds and Orders Pizza and Shows them cool secrets in Video Games#And also chucks them like 20 feet in the air he's the kinda guy to just throw a baby around#I love him so much#I also love Toadsworth I love you Toadsworth please come back sir#Nintendo really wants that old man dead it's unfair to me who loves him
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