#I don't know what it is about this song that makes me think of him
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eicsferrari · 2 days ago
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never met - op81 smau
summary: people start making up rumors about oscar and yn. problem is they never actually met
face claim: random girls from pinterest
a/n: this is chaos but it was fun to write hope you like it
masterlist
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gossipf1 singer yn and oscar piastri are reported to be dating according to inside sources
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user5 please let this be true
lando rue, when did this happen?
user14 helppp what is lando doing here
user3 my two worlds colliding
user7 she's not good enough for him
user8 ?? he's not good enough for her
yn inside sources who??? i never saw this man in my life😭😭
user10 he's a formula 1 driver
yn oh i only know lewis hamilton aka the goat aka the loml
user10 fair
yn he looks cute tho👀
sabrinacarpenter no yn!
yn 😊😊
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yn posted a story
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caption: this is the man yall think i pulled? Damn thank u
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↪sabrinacarpenter you are insane😭
↪lando +61 12345678 text him
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yn jazzy nights are my favorite
♡liked by sabrinacarpenter, oscarpiastri and others
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user6 best night of my life
sabrinacarpenter i'm in love with you😍
yn me when i see you
user1 oscar liked...
user4 don't start
user1 i just stated a fact
user9 obsessed with your voice, i want you to sing me to sleep every night
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gossipf1 yn and oscar spotted hanging out after her concert
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user8 i fear this couple would be too iconic
user4 just... no
user5 i dont know this man my ass
yn in my defense i really haven't met him then!
lando it's true i can confirm
lando i can also confirm yn was oscar's most listened artist last year
oscarpiastri why are you here?
lando gossip is my bat signal
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yn trip made it out of the groupchat
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lando groupchat and it's only two people
yn get off my comments
lando i got you his number and this is how you repay me?
user9 lando tell us who it is🙏🏼
user3 if lando set them up it has to be oscar
user7 i'm in love with her aesthetic
user5 white shirt=oscar
user14 stop we don't know
sabrinacarpenter did my invite get lost in the mail?🤨
yn babe i'm sorry he means nothing you are the love of my life
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oscarpiastri posted a story
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caption good company yn
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↪user4 gossipf1 ended up setting you two up huh
↪sabrinacarpenter i remember when i was the one taking her pictures...💔
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yn sorry osc i go where lewis goes🏎️
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oscarpiastri 😐
user4 osc🥺🥺
scuderiaferrari everyone is a ferrari fan ♡liked by author
francocolapinto hamilton fan first, a girlfriend second. i respect that
user5 did he just confirm that they are girlfriend and boyfriend?
mclaren 💔
yn sorry😔
charles_leclerc i approve son oscarpiastri
yn forza ferrari!
user26 we lost her to a sports guy...
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oscarpiastri posted a story
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caption prettiest girl is in fact my girlfriend
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↪yn giggling blushing throwing up kicking my feet🥺🫶🏼
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yn posted a story
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caption he's still mad i did not wear orange
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↪lando it's papaya not orange😡
yn same fucking thing
lando it's not !!
yn ok but the word papaya is so ugly
lando YOU TAKE THAT BACK
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yn the rumors are now true, i'm his favorite artist and he's my (second) favorite driver
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user18 she's gorgeous😍 he's just there😐
francocolapinto yes yes you might kiss but did he ever say he wanted to learn your language just to understand your jokes? i don't think so
yn call me when you are his top artist on spotify loser
user12 don't mind me i'm just patiently waiting for the love songs this will inspire
oscarpiastri you are never going to let me live this down, right?
yn you are stuck with me and my bad jokes sorry bro
sabrinacarpenter just remember she was mine first papaya boy
oscarpiastri noted🫡
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oscarpiastri she finally wore papaya
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user2 she's so hot🥵
yn not that word again😭
lando i will block you if you keep hating on the papaya
yn do it i dare you
yn i look so good tho
oscarpiastri you always look amazing
yn i love me a boy who can sweet talk
lando god stop being cheesy on main🤢
yn weren't you going to block me??
lando i should have
yn just do it you coward
user23 yes yn put the car guy in his place!
lando why are you supporting her when your page is dedicated to me??? are you a fan or a hater?
user23 i'm your biggest fan! but i support women's rights and women's wrongs so i'm with yn
yn HA even your fans like me better😛
lando you stole my teammate and now my fans what else do you want from me😭😭
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lando posted a story
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caption disgusting
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↪yn disgustingly cute yes
lando whatever helps you sleep at night
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oscarpiastri posted a story
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caption dont let their online banter fool you, they are friends
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↪yn babe don't expose us like that😔
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oscarpiastri 🧡
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yn DELETE what if lewis sees this?
user21 she's so real
lewishamilton i feel betrayed
yn nooo💔😔 you will always be n1 in my heart
oscarpiastri 😐
yn deal with it
yn i am so incredibly proud of you and i love supporting you🥺🧡
oscarpiastri thank you for being here<3
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yn posted a story
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caption i'm going to tell my kids this is their dad
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yn posted a story
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caption just kidding, i love you oscar
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↪ oscarpiastri i love you more❤️
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inkedinshadows · 7 hours ago
Note
Helloooo hope you’re doing well 💝💗
I was wondering if you can write for azriel ( from the prompt list) 2 and 4? I think it would be such a cute idea, and you would write it so well (love u)
thanks for ur time!! 💝💝
Life's Bright Side
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Pairing: Azriel x f!reader
A/N: I love u too anon, I'm doing well and I hope you are too 🫶🏻 I had so much fun writing this one and it didn't even take me that long bc one thing about me is that I'm a sucker for slice of life 🤭
Prompts: "Baby, I love you, but please go to bed."* + "You're always so cheerful... it's kind of adorable."
Warnings: none, just fluff
Word count: 1.1k
*had to change it to "go to sleep", hope you don't mind <3
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Azriel had never understood how you did it.
Your day had been a long one. He hated the Court of Nightmares, but more than that, he loathed seeing you in such a place. His bubbly, chirpy mate didn't belong among those cruel, scheming people.
Yet you never let the occasional visits bother you. While he returned from the Hewn City brooding and in a foul mood, you were the opposite.
He watched as you danced through the room, the dim light catching on the sparkly black dress you were still wearing. You were softly humming a melody to yourself, a simple tune you had picked up yesterday while strolling along the Sidra with him.
A small smile tugged at Azriel’s lips. Even without trying, you always managed to lift his spirits. His shadows were already swaying in time with your song.
He remained silent as he undressed, listening as your humming turned into quiet singing—whispered words he couldn't quite make out, but he was fairly sure you were making them up as you went.
When he looked back up after pulling on his sleeping clothes, your dress had been exchanged for a nightgown and you were perched at the vanity table to remove your makeup. One leg crossed over the other, your foot bounced in time with your tune.
“How do you do that?” he asked, unable to stop himself.
Your eyes met his in the mirror, a small smile forming as you wiped the cotton pad over one eye. “Do what?”
Azriel shrugged, stepping up behind you just as you stood. He wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his chin on the top of your head.
“You’re always so cheerful,” he murmured, meeting your gaze in the mirror again. His lips quirked. “It’s kind of adorable.”
You chuckled before turning in his arms. “Life's too short to be grumpy and pessimistic.” Pressing a kiss to his lips, you added, “You should try it sometimes, my love.”
Azriel huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head. He leaned down to stop your teasing with another kiss, but you slipped out of his grasp and padded toward the bathroom.
“Baby, you're immortal,” he pointed out, following you to lean against the doorframe while you washed your face. “How is life too short?”
“Well, it's not,” you conceded, turning off the faucet. Azriel waited patiently as you dried your face before you continued. “But maybe tomorrow a vase will fall from a balcony while I'm walking underneath it, hit me in the head, and kill me instantly.”
Azriel raised a brow.
“What?” you said with a smile. “You never know. Just because it's unlikely doesn't mean it's impossible.”
He shook his head, but he couldn't stop the slow smile forming on his face. “I'm beginning to think you're crazy. Not cheerful, just straight-up crazy.”
“And it took you this long to figure that out?” You grinned, patting his arm as you tried to slip past him.
Tried, because Azriel caught you before you could, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you flush against him. A sound that was both a laugh and a yelp escaped you as he lifted you without warning.
“Listen,” you tried to defend yourself, though it was hard to speak between fits of laughter. “All I'm saying is that everything has a bright side. We just have to look for it.”
Azriel carried you to the bed, his expression a mix of amusement and exasperation. Gently, he lowered you onto the mattress and leaned over you.
“Oh yeah?” he mused. “So what's the bright side of a vase falling on your head?”
You shoot him an incredulous look. “It made you laugh,” you said simply. “You picked me up and carried me to bed. And now you're on top of me. It’s my favorite position, I'll remind you.”
Azriel’s low chuckle skittered along your skin. “This is not your favorite position, my love.”
You grinned. “You know me so well.”
With a shake of his head, he shifted off you and lay beside you, pulling the blankets over you both as you reached to turn off the lights.
In the dark, you nestled close to him. Your back pressed against his chest, his arms wrapped snugly around you, and you reached down to intertwine your fingers with his. Your thumb traced slow, idle circles over the back of his hand.
“Did it work though?” you whispered into the quiet. “Did I get your mind off the Hewn City?”
Azriel breathed in the delicate scent of your shampoo as he brushed a kiss to your shoulder. “You did. Thank you, my love.”
“I could always give you something else to think about if you need it,” you suggested.
He didn't, actually. But something in your tone—the slight note of amusement, perhaps—made him question what you were up to.
“Is it going to be another one of your ridiculous questions?”
He could picture your smile as you replied, “Maybe. Do you want to hear it?”
Azriel took a deep breath, knowing he would regret it but still curious to find out what you'd come up with this time. “Let's hear it.”
You didn't answer right away. He felt you squirm slightly in his arms and realized you were trying to stifle your giggles. When you finally settled enough to speak, your voice was so pensive that Azriel braced himself.
“If you wake up tomorrow,” you began, “and find out I've been turned into a giant spider, what would you do?”
Azriel sighed. This was his fault, after all. He had encouraged you.
“That's even worse than the last one,” he muttered.
“You said I would make a lovely worm.” You hummed. “But what about a huge spider? Or wait, even better, a Middengard Wyrm?”
His arms tightened around you, pulling you even closer. “Baby, I love you, but please go to sleep,” he murmured, though his lips betrayed him with a faint smile.
Your soft laugh echoed in the silence. “Alright, alright,” you conceded. Azriel thought that was it, until you added, “The question is trickier and you need to think about it. I get it. You can tell me the answer in the morning.”
Azriel rolled his eyes, but his smile was now impossible to hide. You felt it against your skin as he kissed the nape of your neck.
If entertaining your nonsense questions before falling asleep was the price he had to pay to be with you, then he'd gladly endure them again and again just to spend another night by your side.
It was just like you'd said. Everything had a bright side if only he looked for it.
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Taglist: @mrsjna @navyblue-eternity @paintedbyshadows @highladyandromeda @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @azrielsmate3 @mollygetssherlockcoffee @mirandasidefics @tinystarfishgalaxy @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @anarchiii @readinggeeklmao @anneas11 @azrielslittleslut @lilah-asteria @aaahhh127 @lorosette @azrielsrealmate @pey2618 @mellowmusings @k8r123-blog @daughterofthemoons-stuff @minnieoo @saltedcoffeescotch @georgiadixon
1k taglist: @onebadassunicorn @thegoddessofnothingness
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oikarma · 3 days ago
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don't look back in anger
pairing: max verstappen x reader
summary: she knows it's too late as she's walking on by. or: all the times you have talked to max verstappen since that night.
a/n: more angsty than the first part? a lot more written stuff 🤕 sorry if you don't like that kinda thing.
part one
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liked by f1 and 3,279,148 others
kellypiquet: To us, and to many more years together 🤍
tagged: maxverstappen
view 69,501 comments
user1: oh my god it's happening!!!
user2: about time he put a ring on her finger...they've already had a kid together
user3: eh eh, eh eh, i just want it to be you
user4: can we normalize not bringing up people's exes in the comment sections of their new partners? user5: @/user4 max and yn weren't even exes get your facts right user3: @/user4 what 😭 it's a cute song and they're getting married user6: my chronically online ass cannot comprehend how people like yn's songs but don't know about the lore behind them
yourinstagram: congrats, kelly! * liked by kellypiquet
user7: maybe max is the problem guys. user8: @/user7 like if his situationship and his fiance can get along so well.. user9: i would crash out if my ex best friend slash maybe soulmate commented on my fiance's post and said congrats to HER and not me user10: women supporting women 💪
user11: the ring is so pretttyyy
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ONE.
The sun has started to dip, gold strokes across the pearly white decor. Around you are guests and heightened murmurs. Of course they're excited: it's Max Verstappen's wedding. A world champion among the greats.
You're still standing there, left by a few guests who wanted to offer their thoughts on your music. Their words were kind and well-meaning, but all they did was remind you of how queer it was. That you were at Max and Kelly's wedding. Sweat beads pile on your forehead, threatening to ruin your makeup; the dress feels heavy, too heavy. It might suffocate you. You straighten your back and take a deep breath. Breathe in, breathe out.
"You came."
Max's voice is low and hesitant, but it easily breaks through your train of thought. His words are just placed out there, like he's not sure if he has a right to say them at all. They sit there in front of you, an ache, a question.
There's a knot in your stomach. This was a bad idea.
"Kelly invited me." Your voice is steady, yet it sounds distant. Like someone else is speaking your lines for you, making things alright. You don't want to be here anymore. Not like this. "What did you expect? That I wouldn't show up?"
Max's hand trembles. He wants to step closer, you think. But he can't. Not like this. Not now.
"I didn't know if...you'd want to see me," he stammers.
You stiffen at his words, remembering the clear boundaries between the two of you. The paparazzi aren't here: it's a private event, at his insistence. But there are others, others who are watching and listening Max Verstappen talk to the girl who wrote an album of songs about the love she could not return him.
A sharp breath escapes your lips. You don't want to deal with this. Not now, when you're both standing on the brink of something final.
"Max, this is Kelly's wedding." Your voice hardens. "Your wedding. She’s about to marry you. So whatever you think this is—whatever it was—it doesn’t matter anymore."
Max looks at you, his jaw tightening. An old habit, you remember, as he chews back the words he can't say aloud. A part of you wants to reach out to touch his face.
It's up to you, as it always has been. He wants to say something, to reach for the words that will make you understand, but he knows it’s too late for that. The realization dawns on his eyes. The past is too tangled, too complicated. And Kelly is waiting for him to be by her side.
"I never meant for things to end like this." His voice cracks slightly, and it’s clear that the weight of your history is crushing him. He takes another step forward, almost against his will. "I asked for too much. I'm sorry I hurt you."
The silence between you two feels thick, stretching longer than it should. Max’s eyes soften at your words, but you can see the hesitation in him, the part of him that wishes he could do more, be more for you. Enough.
And it hurts in a way that you don’t want to admit. Not here, not now.
You should walk away. This conversation isn’t for this moment. But you can’t move. Your feet are cemented to the ground, and Max is standing too close.
"I just... I miss you," he whispers, his voice breaking under the weight of the noose he's never fully escaped.
A shiver runs down your spine at how raw his voice is. Your chest tightens.
There it is. That thing you’d been trying to ignore. You miss him too. In ways that make no sense when you look at him, standing there, about to tie his life to someone else.
You wish things were different. You wish that you could let yourself feel what he’s offering. You’ve wondered, countless times, if you made the wrong choice. If you had let yourself fall, would it have been easier? Or would it have just destroyed you both in the end?
Max shifts his weight, his gaze never leaving yours, and you can see the uncertainty in his eyes, the hope flickering there like it might ignite. It almost makes you want to step forward.
Almost.
But you know better. You can't.
"I..." You swallow, your voice rough. The words scatch in your throat. "I can’t do this, Max. Not now."
His face falls.
You hate that you’re creating this distance, but you have to. It’s the only way to stop both of you from falling back into this mess you've never cleaned up. Writing your songs was supposed to help and it only worsened your what-ifs.
You force yourself to breathe again. "You're about to marry Kelly. You can’t look back at me now, Max."
A long silence hangs between you two. Max opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. You know the truth. Sure, you've asked yourself if your intuition was right. But you know. You’ve always known.
You can barely hear him when he lands the last blow. "I never stopped loving you."
It's too real. He's struggling and you can hear it in his voice. This was a bad idea. This is his wedding. You can feel your walls crumbling at his words, the things you’ve buried beneath the surface shaking loose, but you push it all back down. You have to.
"Don't," your voice cracks. You can't hear anything but your own words and your heartbeat. "Please don't."
The two of you stand there. Life keeps moving forward, people laughing, and you think the piano is going to start soon. It's going to mark Kelly's entrance. And Kelly's entrance it is, into Max's life. For good.
For good.
You have to walk away.
And you take that first step back, away from your first friend. The first thing in your life that fit like it was made for you; never to be broken apart.
It still doesn’t stop the ache in your chest, but it's the right thing.
Max breathes in behind you, such a staggered sound it could be a plea for help.
You move toward your seat, hoping he will not look upon this moment too badly. That one day, in the future, his anger will have left him and he will realize this was your last act of love: to help him, even when it means breaking his heart a little bit more.
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liked by lando and 1,792,164 others
f1gossipofficial: Lewis Hamilton was spotted this weekend in Monaco hanging out with Y/N L/N. They collaborated on Y/N's debut album, even sharing a kiss in the music video for "toxic to the end." Is a romance brewing? And how does Max Verstappen feel about all this?
tagged: yourinstagram, lewishamilton
view all 61,382 comments
user1: oh...max..
user2: oml he's literally MARRIED he's OVER. HER. it was four years ago. why does no one understand?
user3: this feels so intrusive but whatever. why are you taking pictures of them grocery shopping together 😭 let them live their life
user4: i love how lando is casually liking this.
user5: @/lando WHAT DO YOU KNOW lando: 🤐
user6: i literally said this as soon as the mv dropped. Y/N girl you have the sexist man alive as your friend MAKE A MOVE
user7: they have such good chemistry though!! did you see the rimowa interview??? same vibe, they're so adorable user8: so much better than her and max...am i right?
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r/PopCultureChat · 1 day ago hemsworthss
Max Verstappen and Kelly Piquet calling it quits.
You might call me insane. You might say nothing official is out, but I think this might be true. As of October 2025:
Kelly unpinned both the pregnancy and the marriage announcement on her account. This is odd: she's had both up there since she made the posts. It probably isn't a matter of her clearing her feed or anything, because her Vogue shoot is still pinned. I looked for the post on her account and it was GONE. I looked for the pregnancy post on Max's account and she was no longer listed as a collaborator. Max was never a collaborator on the marriage announcement.
She's been posting a lot with P and the young 'un, but Max isn't in any of them. In his Team Redline streams, Max is always alone. Neither of his kids has appeared. Judging from the locations on her posts, she and her kids are on vacation in Europe.
Kelly wasn't at the last two Grand Prixes. She posted a story of her watching one on the couch but that was it. Neither of her kids were there, either.
Max has been posting more recently and he's been spending time with friends over family. Lando has him in a few dumps: playing paddle, Max even holding a guitar. Who plays guitar? Y/N L/N but that's not the point. Max is learning new hobbies and spending alone time.
I think I'm right. And if DeuxMoi has anything to say about a famous athlete/model couple filing for divorce, I'm placing my bets on Max and Kelly. Thoughts?
dannyric03: I don't want to believe it. He's so happy with the kids. Fatherhood suits him well.
↳ AppleBiter12: But fatherhood and marriage are different things. I thought maybe they got married because they thought the child would bring them closer. And it didn't.
hamiltons8th: I don't know. It seems debatable. Maybe they're just taking a break. It has been a stressful season so far.
↳ FantasyFox719: Right. But Max loves his kids, of course he'd want to spend time with him. I can't think of why he wouldn't spend his time between races (as he normally does) with his family instead of colleagues. ↳ hamiltons8th: @/FantasyFox719 Well him and Lando are best mates, something like that. I do think it's odd he's not with his kids. Maybe Kelly suggested it.
PeacockJazz450: Unrelated but did you see the news about Y/N and Lewis?
↳ hemsworthss: I did, actually. I think they're a very cute couple (if they're dating) that complement each other's personalies and goals very well. Lewis is very career-focused and so is Y/N. Love both of them lots. Even if they're friends I'm sure it's a great relationship. ↳ PeacockJazz450: @/hemsworthss Lol. I agree. Maybe Max crashed out after seeing that and decided he needed a break too 😂 There was this one tweet going around that was like "Imagine winning in Abu Dhabi 21 but losing the love of your life to the man you beat." ↳ hemsworthss: @/PeacockJazz450 Oh that's diabolical. Celebrity drama is bad enough but so many of the drivers are bops and their dating life is mildly concerning. Very interesting though. ↳ PeacockJazz450: @/hemsworthss At least Y/N hasn't dated anyone that we know of. I hope it folds out well.
ApplestoApples: if it's true that's such a shame. they've only been married for a year or so.
↳ 5_vettel: Agreed. But celebrity relationships never seem very stable.
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kellypiquet has added to their stories
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[ caption: family first 🧑‍🧒‍🧒 ]
replies:
user1: the one parent?? the two kids?? KELLY DID YOU SPLIT
user2: uh oh...
user3: max what did you do this time
user4: hope you're okay queen!
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liked by ladygaga, lewishamilton and 3,184,932 others
yourinstagram: left the door open and this DIVA walked through 📢 "APT." is out now & you can watch it live at my burnout mini tour!!
🔗 tickets on sale at ynln.com/live
tagged: brunomars
user1: new album? y/n??
user2: BRUNO DELIVERED OH MY GOD
user3: first lewis now bruno how is she getting all these icons for collabs 😭 actually insane her team must be working overtime
brunomars: don't forget to drink dance shower and freak
user4: not him saying shower instead of smoke lolol bruno being a responsible man as always
user5: i hear the dating rumors
user6: max verstappen. did you see the kiss? i bet you saw the kiss
user7: watch him block you on insta user8: two more boys y/n has kissed now and none of them are called max verstappen!
user9: could not be more proud of you queen 🤍 from starting an acting career, to dropping an insane album, and to collaborating with huge artists. i'm sure you'll keep doing great things and no one can stop you. * liked by yourinstagram
user10: what does this mean for her and lewis ☹️
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TWO.
The crowd is still screaming as you scramble down the stairs, face flushed and out of breath. Sweat clings to your skin and your chest rises and falls, the adrenaline still coursing through you. Everything feels infinite, all the love shown out there drowning out your doubts and your past.
"Hell of a show you put out there, rockstar."
Lewis Hamilton leans against the table with your glass of water on it. His arms are crossed, an easy grin on his lips. He's dressed like he belongs here—which, admittedly, he now does.
He already knew about the concert: you couldn't wait to tell him when Bruno. Mars. Called. You. It wasn't exactly good timing, him just finishing the Mexico City Grand Prix the day before, but he came anyway. And dressed impeccably, at that.
You let out a breathy laugh, grabbing the glass. "You're just saying that because you got backstage treatment."
Lewis chuckles. "You know I mean it. You were unreal. When's the album coming out?"
"Hold on, hold on. Don't rush me. Give me a podium celebration first, will you?"
He tilts his head and you can't quite breathe. He says you were unreal but he's unreal. It still shakes you, sometime, how such a wonderful and caring and completely perfect man picked you to be his...friend.
You keep it at that word for now, but appreciate how good he looks with shades pushed back into his braids.
"Depends. You up for a champagne shower?"
Nothing flusters you like Lewis's quick wit.
You take a moment to gather your thoughts. "Not in this dress, I’m not."
Lewis chuckles, his gaze lingering on you for half a second longer than necessary. "Shame. Would’ve been a pretty memorable moment. We'll have to reschedule."
You're aware of how close he is. How the conversation feels lighter than it should. How his presence is grounding in a way you don’t often get anymore. Your thoughts are wandering again, eyes tracing the curve of his mouth and—
The air shifts.
It’s subtle, like a drop in temperature. Like something's pressing against your ribs. You feel the presence and you know exactly what it is.
(Or maybe it's the fact that your team has gone completely silent. No more hurried congratulations and squeals in the background.)
Max.
He’s standing just a few steps away, lacking his usual Red Bull gear. His hair is all messed up, as if he got off a plane and came straight here. His jaw is set, his hands shoved into his pockets, his eyes flicking between you and Lewis. There’s something there—something simmering behind that calculated look of his.
Your grip tightens on the water bottle.
"Didn’t expect to see you here, Max." Your voice is even, but it takes effort.
He exhales sharply, shifting his weight. "You think I'd miss this?"
The words are simple, but the matter is not.
Lewis, ever observant, stays exactly where he is—relaxed but present. "Didn’t know you were a fan of good music, mate." His voice is smooth. Yet deliberate. You can't do this right now. Why does he have to show up whenever things in your life are getting good?
Max’s gaze flickers to Lewis, and for a second, something almost like amusement tugs at the corner of his mouth before disappearing just as quickly. "I've been listening for years."
It lands heavier than it should. Your pulse jumps and both of them are probably aware of it. Max isn't talking about the music.
Max’s eyes stay on you, searching. "You didn't think I'd come, did you?"
You exhale carefully. "I didn't...invite you."
Max’s jaw tightens. "Well. Here I am."
It's too much. The weight of his words, the way Lewis is next to you—grounding, solid, present—and Max is just there looking like he's trying to figure out how everything slipped through his fingers.
The air between the three of you stretches, taut and fragile. Max’s words still hang there—Well. Here I am.
You shift under Max’s stare, your grip tightening on the water bottle still in your hand. Your throat feels dry.
"What do you want me to say, Max? That I expected you to come? That I thought about it?"
Max exhales sharply. It pierces you like a knife. "I don’t know. Maybe." His voice is lower now, almost bitter. "You never wanted to talk about it."
His voice is rough when he speaks again. "Tell me you don’t think about it."
You are acutely aware of Lewis's presence, but Max is slowly taking over your thoughts.
You inhale sharply. It's all you can do. "Max—"
"Tell me you don’t wonder."
Your throat tightens.
You do. You have.
Some nights when the lights are off and the city finally shuts itself up, you let yourself think about it. About him and the moment he kissed you. The way his voice cracked when he said your name.
But you also remember the fear. The way you couldn't have let yourself fold—not then.
And now?
Now, Lewis is here. Steady and patient in ways Max never was. Lewis, who has never asked you for anything more than what you could give, who doesn’t need you to be anything other than what you already are. Lewis, who will let himself be just a friend. Lewis...
You glance at Lewis instinctively. His expression is unreadable, but there’s something softer in the way he looks at you. He understands.
This, Max notices.
His jaw clenches, the vein in his neck jumping. His hands curl into fists at his sides and then relax so fast you could've missed it. Is it for show, all of this? Does he want you to think he cares or not? He exhales, looking away for a brief second. Just enough to compose himself. When he looks back, something about him is more guarded.
"Right," Max says, much quieter. He nods, more to himself than to you. "I get it."
But the problem is that you don’t think he does.
Despite everything, despite Lewis, despite the way you had chosen to walk away.
You still...
Max lets out a sharp laugh, shaking his head. "Right. Because it’s never the time, is it?"
Not this. You flinch, because he's right. You don't want to talk about it. How he kissed you, drunk but so eerily sober in the way all his thoughts came out at once. The weight of everything in between the two of you spilled over, something you weren't ready for. About how, even now, sometimes you catch yourself missing him before you remind yourself why you had to leave.
The fear is back.
Your whole life had began to shift, focusing on you. Y/N L/N, rising actress. People talked about you...and your friendship with Max. What it was. And if you had let yourself feel something for him—if you had let yourself fall—what would have been left of you?
"There was nothing to talk about," you say. It's hollow, like another word could crush it into smithereens.
Max's mouth purses into a thin line. "That’s bullshit. You know it."
You're too aware of the people in the room, again.The way Lewis is still there, watching but not interrupting, not yet. The way Max is standing too close, and yet not close enough.
You shake your head, only able to reiterate all the things you've already told him. "This isn't the time for this."
Lewis shifts beside you then, speaking for the first time in minutes. He's had enough. His voice is calm, smooth, but there’s something sharper beneath it. Water over rocks, threatening to split the waves any minute. "If you're looking for something from her, maybe you should ask yourself why you didn’t do it when it actually mattered."
Max turns to Lewis, his posture stiffening. There's a respect between the two, but spite typically taints it. Now? No malice—just frustration, just regret. Just something ugly and old between all of you.
You close your eyes for half a second, steadying yourself. When you open them, Max is looking at you again, waiting.
But he’s always been waiting, hasn't he?
And you?
You’ve always been running. From what? you wonder now. From something real?
Something has changed. Now you're not sure if you're tired of running or just afraid of what happens when you stop.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
kellypiquet and maxverstappen have added to their stories
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replies:
user1: so it was true??
user2: praying for you kelly <3
user3: 5 bucks it has to do with y/n and whatever he did when he showed up at her concert
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
THREE.
The coffee shop is cozy, the kind of place you go when you want to be alone with your thoughts. You're sitting at a corner table, flipping through your phone. Doomscrolling, they call it.
It’s been a while since you last saw Max—months, maybe. His divorce from Kelly was all over the media, and yet, here you are, sitting in the same coffee shop as him. The silence is louder than any of the questions you had when the news first broke.
You didn’t expect to run into him today.
You'd also thought you were over all of it. Buried, deep down. But when his voice meets your ears, it's all coming back.
"You still like this place, huh?" Max sounds like he's been thinking about his question for a while.
Glancing up, surprise flickers across your face. "Max...didn't expect to see you here."
He stands there for a moment, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket. You feel the awkward tension rising like steam from your mug.
“You’re hard to avoid these days,” Max says, his words coming out almost casually. "Guess we keep bumping into each other."
You raise an eyebrow, setting your phone down. “We never really bumped into each other before.”
Max’s lips tighten for a moment. Caught. “No. I guess we haven't."
Neither of you move. Then, Max steps forward, hesitating just slightly before sitting across from you.
“Nice seeing you. Didn't expect it to be here."
You nod slowly, unsure of how to respond. "Yeah...well, things change."
Vulnerably flickers in his eyes. You haven't seen that in a while. "They do," he agrees.
It's unfinished, this mess between you.
"I know things got complicated," Max continues. "I shouldn't have pushed you. I didn't mean to make it worse but I did."
You want to say something—anything. But the words are stuck. Everything: the kiss, the distance, all the memories you've shared. They're all under the surface, waiting for someone to make sense of it all.
Instead, you try to find your footing. "Max...what are we even doing here?"
Something like the Max you used to know. He's less guarded, less distant. "I don't know. But I don't want things to be like this. No forever."
You swallow hard. You want to respond, but there's too much going on in your head.
Max breaks the silence. Again. This time, he's more quiet. "So, what about him? Lewis?"
The way he says it makes you wonder. Jealousy? Not that, he's past that. But it's a question wrapped in old pain. He wants to know. He always has.
You lean back in your chair, letting out a soft sigh. "What about him?"
Max’s eyes are searching. "You're...close. Do you, I don't know, care about him?"
The answer isn't as simple as either of you would like it to be. There's a part of you that wants to spill out all the feelings. That you don't know. Still don't.
"He's good to me. I don't know what else you want me to say."
It's not the answer he wants to hear, but he nods anyway. "Yeah, I get it."
The past is complicated, and the present is no less so. There's a peace with Lewis. But Max...Max has a way of making everything feel unresolved.
You bite your lip, unsure if you should talk more. You want to say something that makes sense, that will give both of you the closure you need. The truth is, there's too much unsaid. Unresolved. It's sitting there, loose strings and all.
"Maybe we never had the chance to figure it out. It wasn't just about what we felt, Max. It was everything else too."
His expression tightens. Like the words aren't forming right. The old ache is there in his words, in his face. They never healed. "I was an idiot, wasn't I?" he mutters.
You shake your head, not wanting to dwell on that when he's already beat himself up for half a decade. "We were both...confused. We had different things to figure out."
You can't place the look in his eyes. "Maybe. But I was never just confused about you. I was scared of losing it all. Of losing what we could've had."
It hits you in the chest. Then, the words come out before you can stop them. "Max...we shouldn't leave it like this. I don't want to leave it. Again."
"So what does that mean?" His voice is hopeful, though he has his doubts.
It won't be the same. That's impossible.
"I don't know. We'll have to figure it out." You hesitate before taking out your phone. "Maybe we can...talk more. Not lose touch again."
A smile breaks across his face, though he tries to hide it. "That sounds good. I'd like that."
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
did you like this? i wanna make a part three. it's like...closure but not completely, you know? there's still a lot for them to deal with and also lewis! beautiful beautiful lewis! messy max or lovely lewis ? 🤨
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okaysonny · 2 days ago
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Pls can you write James Lee dating headcanons and Diego Kanga dating headcanons. Like they are same person but their personality and mannerism are completely different.
Also your write is very good it sticks to character perfectly and feels great to see a fellow Indian❤️
dating headcanons ╏ james lee + diego kang
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a/n: yasss india mentioned 🇮🇳 james/dg...very difficult to grasp...he is kind of annoying ❤️ so these are very much HEADcanons. enjoy!
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JAMES LEE
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✦ highschool romance troupe obviouslyyy
✦ imagine this scenario: james always sees you studying in school...when everyone has left already. at first he doesn't care, but you're just always in there and he eventually asks what you're doing.
✦ as if you'd admit to james lee the prodigy that you're struggling with school 🤣 you have one sided beef with this man.
✦ surprise, surprise...you end up talking and an acquaintanceship forms.
✦ your relationship with james...it's not really a relationship. more of a situationship, tbh. just an unspoken pining that eventually develops.
✦ james is really angsty in terms of romance, imo. the only time you see each other is when you're there after school and he's come back from another rampage.
✦ i think he'd eventually tutor you, much to your annoyance. but the next day, you show james that you did well on the exam!! he'd play the nonchalant gimmick, but there's something warm settling in his chest.
✦ drops lollipops in your bag when you're not looking 😆 awww
✦ like i said...he's angsty as hell. imagine asking james what he wants to do after school, and he has an ANGSTY look because he'll be committing WAR CRIMES
✦ you bring up boring office jobs, but you figure james lee the prodigy would have a more exciting career anyways. but...he finds himself imagining a normal life, having a boring office job...maybe with you.
✦ for obvious reasons, he can't. james doesn't even entertain the thought.
✦ corny "he only feels this way around you" troupe 🤣😭 one day you decide to ruffle his hair and james suddenly feels like a normal high school kid.
✦ ANGSTY RELATIONSHIP -> ANGSTY ENDING. weather it be you not showing up anymore (after finding out he mutilates people!!) , orrr him not showing up, because he has a path laid out for him.
✦ it's tragic, because there was no intimacy at all!! no hand holding, no kissing, nothing! yet the late hours in the classroom all built up to something. for all his perfection, i'm not sure if james would realise what he's feeling.
✦ when he sees corporate employees laughing together after becoming diego kang, he still wonders what a boring office job would be like. with you.
DIEGO KANG
way more fun and light hearted, i promise!
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✦ dg would absolutely nottt date a fan. if you know him, but don't really care about him, he'll be a bit more open to the idea. buttt, i think you'd have to somehow not know who he is to really pique dg's interest.
✦ don't get me wrong, it's not a "...i've never met someone who doesn't know diego kang 😳" type of thinking. he just doesn't want power imbalances in a relationship.
✦ with dg, very much opposites attract. i think he's drawn to bubbly and funny people.
✦ two words: 𝒔𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒏 🫦
✦ makes you aware the relationship has to be secret and all that shebang.
✦ i feel like dg's music only appeals to a...certain demographic (teenage girls) and he KNOWS that too. so if you give his tunes a listen and tell him: wow...this is shit, he'll find it oddly endearing. dg is surrounded by yes men, so he likes the honesty that his shitty songs are shitty.
✦ you already know the gifts + pampering would be out of this world 😮‍💨 it would be rude to not spoil you, considering the secrecy of your relationship + his constant absence.
✦ like i said before, for all his perfection, he doesn't really understand that sometimes you don't need an aplogy necklace for dg being away, you're just happy to see him again.
✦ late night motorcycle rides when he's feeling a little 𝒂𝒅𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒔. alexa, play cool for the summer
✦ you make fun of him when he does cringe things for the fans lmfao...that was the first time diego kang felt humiliated.
✦ another CRACK in his perfect persona: i think dg can't make funny jokes. even when he was james lee he couldn't, but the cocky persona masked it. now that he's more calm + stoic, it's very apparent.
remember when dg acted like he was gonna use the USB as a bargaining chip against eugene, but then said: "i'm kidding 😜"
🤣😭 THIS WEIRDO! idk if it was a silent warning, but it's my headcanon that it wasn't - he just genuinely thought it was funny.
✦ imagine that troupe of you know...it wouldn't kill you to crack a joke every once in a while. and dg is surprised because he thinks he's a hoot. so he says a shit joke and you actually laugh because of how bad it is. but...dg thinks you're laughing because it was funny, and feels a sense of pride.
✦ he's defo the type to laugh at a crude comment from you and then quickly cough to act like it wasn't HILARIOUS.
✦ now that he's retired, i think dg would go public with your relationship. he's trying to break out of that kpop idol image + show that he's serious about you.
✦ anddd i think he'd tell you about james lee and gapryong once he's absolutely sure you won't leave him. (i don't mean that in a creepy way lmao)
✦ despite my disdain for this FREAK i'd feel very safe with him as my bf ☺️ always arranges a body guard to accompany you if he's not there. but the most comforting thing is his hugs. i think dg gives the best hugs...and he doesn't even realise :')
✦ with you, diego feels free, yet bound in the best way possible.
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divider: @thecutestgrotto
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starshinedreamer · 1 day ago
Text
Alrighty y'all, grab a chair and get comfy whilst I yap about my son, my pride and joy, the greatest thing to ever happen to me, my D&D OC: Raymond Foxwood. He is a Wood Elf Druid with the Researcher background and a Neutral-Good alignment (Images at the very end).
I haven't figured out what his voice sounds like yet. I'm thinking he may kind of have an accent? But like it's barely there. I do have an idea for a possible Japanese voice claim: Souta from the movie Suzume.
His best friend? I guess it would be my friend's D&D character. Her name is Topaz and she is a Dragonborne. Not besties, but pretty close.
Ooooooo boy, I got a whole playlist my friend and I have been cooking up for this sad little fella. Here's a couple of them that I think describes him best:
-"The Moss" by Cosmo Sheldrake
-"Rom-Com Gone Wrong" by Matt Maltese
-"When She Loved Me" by Sarah McLachlan
-"Home" by Cavetown
-"Valentine" by Laufey
-"Love Like You" by Rebecca Sugar
He's like, dealing with a heavy breakup until "Valentine" when he meets his current partner :)
4. "I do Adore" by Mindy Gledhill
5. Nope! But I actually thought about it when I was first creating his character just to see how he would act with other dynamics.
6. A scientist. More specifically, an ecologist. He loves nature and learning about all there is to know about life and the world. He also likes finding ways to help others, so maybe even a pharmacologist?
8. Writing, researching, reading, gardening, and making little insect and animal models because he is a NERD™ /lh<3
9. He generally takes good care of his physical health. Although, his flaw is "Most people scream when they see a demon. I stop and take notes on its anatomy," soooo. "For science" he says. "It's for the greater good" he says.
10. Well he's trying his best. But sometimes anxiety just surprises you and all of the sudden you're spiraling and things seem much worse than they are and pfffft whaddya meeeeaaaan I'm sorta self projecting? But he is the kind of person who feels bad about asking for help and then sort of holds it all in.
11. Inspirations were taken Link from The Legend of Zelda series (mainly BOTW) and Howl from Howl's Moving Castle for his design. Everything else was based purely on my own self indulgences for a nerdy elf character (and the songs my friend keeps sending my for him).
12. Same response as question 2 :)
13. No not really, but he is fighting against an organization that keeps threatening and trying to burn down the library he works/lives in with the librarian: Amanita (Ama, Anita, or Nita for short). Amanita is the person who raised and took care of Raymond after his family died in a fire. A fire caused by the same organization who's trying to harm them now. This is his main reason for joining a campaign; to get stronger and protect his loved ones.
14. This one flippin poison dragon we fought. Or maybe that's just me because I really didn't want to let them leave alive. I don't think Raymond necessarily hates anyone.
15. That all honestly depends on how the rest this campaign will play out. My friend has told me that they all did die a couple times, and we almost died to the STINKIN DRAGON but that's not important right now. But L O R E wise, he'd probably still do his researcher stuff until he's really old. Then he'll write books and share his stories :)
16. If they were alive, then I could see him having a great relationship with his parents since they were also big nerds like him. His relationship with Amanita is also great, and he really wants to protect her since she has done so much for him.
17. YESSSSSS! He loves sharing his knowledge with others and would do such a great job teaching kids. Ohhhh this is such a good one, yes he would feel bad if he had to leave them.
18. He/Him :>
19. Biromantic Asexual. His love language in giving is Acts of Service, and Quality Time for both giving and receiving.
20. A longbow and rocks. He has a cantrip spell called "Magic Stone" which lets me make a ranged attack by throwing small pebbles or stones. I like to call this spell the "RAYMOND, STONE 'EM" spell because its funnnnyyyy.
21. hmmmmmmmmmm Actually, I'm not sure! I guess maybe "Nothing You Can Take From Me" from The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes.
22. Will generally go for the non-violent option (more of a lover), but if initiatives are rolling, he'll fight.
23. Extremely. He'll show up with a new tire to fix the flat one, and an extra one for any future situations.
24. Undecided
25. Not singing out loud, but he would definitely hum to himself! :)
26. Irises, forget-me-nots, and bluebells
27. Symbolism wise, a deer. 'Just because' wise, a rabbit, a fox, and a kitty cat :3
28. The Nerds™ (found at the end of this post:) ).
29. Cozy stuff, lo-fi, books, plants, leather notebooks, and an overall sort of cottage core mixed with academia aesthetic. (Mood Board made in Canva :>)
30. Accepts this as their new life(yippee!). They have now been adopted. Will try to find a way to bring up their interests in conversations.
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Fuck it, OC brain rot won. Get ready for the Secret Ask List
1) Does your OC have a voice claim, if so who?
2) Who's your OCs best friend? How did they become best friends?
3) What song describes your OC?
4) What song describes your OC and their partner/love interest?
5) Do you ship your OC with a Canon character? If so who?
6) If your OC is in a fantasy setting, what profession would they be in the modern day?
7) Vice-Versa! If your OC is in the modern day, what fantasy class would they be? Would they be a different race?
8) What hobbies does your OC have? What do they do to unwind?
9) How does your OC handle their physical health? Do they take care of themselves?
10) How does your OC handle their mental health? Do they take care of themselves?
11) What was your inspiration for your OC?
12) Does your OC interact with other people's OC? If so, who's their best OC friend?
13) Does your OC have a rival? How did it start?
14) Who's a character your OC cannot stand! It's on sight when they see them!
15) Will your OC ever retire? Do you see them making it?
16) How's their relationship with their parents? Are they alive?
17) If your OC has kids, are they a good parent? Do they ever feel guilty if they have to leave them?
18) What are their pronouns? What would they like to be called?
19) What's their sexuality? What's their love language both giving and receiving?
20) If they fight, what's their weapon of choice?
21) What song best describes their relationship with their enemy?
22) Fight or Flight? Are they a lover or a fighter?
23) Is your OC reliable? Can I call them up at two in the morning if I have a flat tire?
24) Can they play any instruments? If so, what do they play?
25) Are they the kind of person who can't resist a good song? Can I catch your OC singing to themselves while they do the dishes?
26) What flower do you associate your OC with?
27) What's their spirit tamagotchi? Or an animal you associate them with?
28) What clique would they be in? (Draw them in the clothes of said group!)
29) Imagine a mood board for your OC! What's on it? (Make it if you want!)
30) My OC and your OC are friends. This isn't a question. I'm not asking. (How do they respond?)
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thatgirlthatwritessmut · 23 hours ago
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weird rq but likeeee? oh well here we go ! so basically rafe and yn are dating but then she finds out about the sheriff peterkin thing from ju and when rafe comes home she is PACING. she and rafe have a conversation and she goes to call the police but then rafe doesn't want to go to jail and tries to say it's because JJ doesn't like him and she obviously doesn't believe it so he like thinks about killing her but then ends up locking her in the thingy majigy I forgot what it's called til she changes her mind
idea honestly came from this song so !
calm down.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
rafe cameron x female reader
𝒮𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎 ~ your boyfriend rafe locks you in a room until you calm down after finding out about him killing sheriff peterkin.
𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ~ dark!rafe, violence, toxic behaviors, unhealthy relationship, emotional outbursts, kisses, crying.
—————
your friends and lover never got along. there was always something coming up. your pogue friends would always tell you that you should break up with rafe but you simply wouldn’t. even though you were pretty sure he was a psychopath you couldn’t stop yourself from loving him.
rafe didn't make it easy though. he was short tempered and ill mannered. sometimes you wanted to smack him across the face for the words that spilled from it. at times you did let your feelings get the best of you and the shape of your handprint would take over the pale flesh of his cheek. he would soon grab a hold of you and the two of you would tussle around but it wouldn't be long till your lips crashed on his inhaling his toxicity.
you knew this relationship was bad for you but you were blinded by love and desire which made the recent information that you were given hard to swallow.
you're taking your family boat out enjoying the air from the sea before you get a text from your friend jj.
jj: y/n I need you to meet me at my place. we need to talk. now.
confusion corses through your body as you quickly reply back.
y/n: jj what's going on?
jj: just hurry and get here fast.
you immediately put your phone aside as you grab a hold of the steering wheel on the boat and head for the dock. once you arrive you tie it up. as you finish you dash towards your car, hitting the gas. its not long till you're on jj front porch knocking on the door filled with worry. jj quickly opens the door and pulls you in without a word. "jj...whats going on?!" you say breaking the silence. he stares at you calculating his words. "you won't believe me.". "how could you know that?" you say slightly annoyed. "because its involving your boy toy...". your body freezes suddenly becoming breathless. "r-....rafe?- what the fuck did he do now?". "something bad. something he's not going to come back from...well he might because he's blaming everything he did on john b.". "what?!...why the hell is he doing that?". jj goes silent again. 'WHAT THE FUCK DID HE DO JJ?!" you finally shout.
“HE SHOT SHERIFF PETERKIN!”
as you hear those words you step back not believing what's been said. "no....NO! that can't be true. he's done his fair share of fucked up things but he would never go as far as....as far as...murder.". 'oh yeah? that's funny because I saw him with my own eyes. me, kie, pope, john b, and even sarah. she'll tell you what he did and that's her own blood!".
you shake your head, tears beginning to blur your vision. you try to speak through your tightened throat. "whe-...when did this happen?". "recently....I wanted to let you know sooner but a LOT as been going on. I wasn't sure if you were at his place or not so i texted you as soon as i could. you're not safe around him y/n!". you stare at the wall choked up before making your way to the door.
"hey! where are you going?". jj quickly foots behind you not letting you out of his sight. as you walk outside you run to your car not looking back. "y/n don't do this! you hear me? don't!". you ignore jj's commands entering your car and slamming the door behind you. "I'm getting to the bottom of this! don't follow me!". with that said you put your car in reverse and make your way to the cameron house.
~~~~
you’re pacing at the front door as rafe arrives home. he glances at you surprised by your presence. as he locks the door he greets you. “hey baby. you didn’t tell me you were stopping by-”. “did you kill sheriff peterkin?”. he face stiffens as he looks up from the lock and stares at the door back facing you. silence takes over the house as your movements stop as well, eyes burning a hole into his neck. you repeat your question. “DID YOU KILL-”. “who told you that?” he snaps, turning around now stepping towards you with speed. “don’t worry about who. answer my damn question rafe!”. his jaw clenches as he stares at you then looks away trying to come up with a lie. “no. john b did.”. you immediately strike back. “liar….i know you’re not telling the truth i can see it in your face!”. you point your finger at him disgusted that he has put you in this position.
rafe begins to shake his head. “not here. not while wheezy and rose is at home okay? lets-”. “NO! no! you will not push me away rafe! why not tell the truth why not tell them that you KILLED SHERIFF PETE-”. rafe grabs you and takes his hand to your mouth silencing your words. “i really wish you wouldn’t do that.” he says, his strength besting you. “get off of me!” you say muffled as you push him away only being able to break free because he allowed you. the two of you stare at each other silently before you speak once again. “rafe…i’m going to ask you one last time. did. you. kill. sheriff. peterkin?”.
he narrows his eyes at you before shaking his head once again. you force a smile as you nod. “…okay…well i guess i’ll find out once the police hears about this won’t i?”. you make your way to the door and he blocks your path. “what does that mean?”. “oh you know what it means.”. his icey glare slightly scares you but you don’t let it show. you inch closer to him. “what now rafe?…are you going to shoot me too?”. you see the gears start to turn in his head, like he was actually considering the idea.
you try to push past him again but now you’re met with his hand to your neck. “r- rafe?” you stutter gripping his wrist. he starts backing you to a door glaring at you with every step. when your back hits the door you yell. “let me go!”. he doesn’t listen pulling you to the side by your neck as he opens the room and throws you inside of it. you fall to the ground wincing in pain. as you look back you watch him swiftly close the door. as you lay on the ground you start to hear a locking sound. you eyes widen and you panick. “no..NO! RAFE!”. you get up from the floor, pacing to the door and begin pounding it. “LET ME OUT!” you scream, beginning to kick. “i’m not letting you out, y/n. not until you calm down, okay?”. “screw you!” you shout through the door. “i’m trying to be civil here, and you’re freaking out right now.”. as your face turns with anger you suddenly hear a familiar voice coming down the stairs.
“rafe what the hell is going on? who is that?”. “r- rose?” you say thankful that she was here. “is- is that y/n?” rose says confused. “yeah.” rafe admits. “why is she locked in there?”. you immediately answer. “rafe locked me in!”. “she’s locked in there because sometimes you have to make the hard choice, right? she just didn’t get that.”. he then turns to the door so he can make sure you hear him. “you fail to understand that constantly, don’t you? huh? DONT YOU?”. he brings his fist up to punch the door. “shut the hell up!” you scream as you push your shoulder into the wood standing between you two hoping to break the lock. “you need to CALM DOWN!” he yells back at you. “what do you mean calm down?!” you reply. but then the other side of the door goes quiet. as a little time goes by you hear something again.
“y/n…what is it going to be?”. your pounding stops as you hear rafe’s voice again. “where is rose?”. “she went upstairs okay? i told her you’re fine which you are.”. “RAFE! stop it now! let me out!”. “i’ll only let you out once you promise me that you won’t go to the cops. so i’ll say it again...what is it going to be?”. you stop responding. soon rafe presses his ear to the door confused but quickly hears a glass shattering against the door. “LET ME OUT ASSHOLE!”. “okay. I’ll give you some time to come to your senses.”. as you hear his steps grow distant you punch harder. “let me out!” you insist. “i really wanna help you, but i need you to help me too okay?” rafe says as he walks up the stairs. you begin to repeat the word “no” over and over again not wanting to stay in the room another minute. “rafe? rafe?…please don’t leave!” you say softly as you give up on breaking the door. you slowly fall to the floor backing up into a corner bringing your knees to your chest. you cover your face as tears fill your eyes. you couldn’t believe what was happening.
after a while you hear the lock turning. you lift yourself from the floor watching as rafe opens the door. “y/n? have you calmed down?”. you nod your head repeatedly slowly walking towards him. as you walk out the door he grabs a hold of your waist. “i hope you can forgive me. i never want you to have to see me like that but you gave me no choice.” he says wiping your tears away with his thumb. your head nods as you sniffle. he then plants a kiss on your cheek then temple as he pull you into a hug. as he locks you into his warm embrace your mind fills with one thought.
should you protect your friends or your lover?
writers note ~ sorry if this feels rushed. lots have been going on in my life. i hope you still enjoyed !! :)
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narcjsistx · 2 days ago
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𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄! | itoshi rin x fem reader
part twelve: childhood || BAND AU, A BIT AGED UP
plot: after your band's last concert, a few days after Rin's, an online competition arises about who is the best bassist. A whole new challenge is created by the new fandom who loves you, but people don't know that you and the bassist of Blue Lock haven't spoken in about 3 years since you broke up, when you were sixteen
02: PAST, YESTERDAY
characters presentation || last part || next part ; words: 1k
𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ; take a look, trust me!. you can find the other parts of the story by searching in the section dedicated to bllk
"When did you decide to play the guitar? I've never seen you here" you say to the child, putting your bass in the case "I started a few weeks ago. How about you?" he asks, and you think about it "I've been playing my bass for a long time now, I was 5 when I started!" You say, smiling at him, and he nods before walking back with his group
That Sae Itoshi was weird, but really good with his guitar. His guitar teacher always talked to your bass teacher about how he was a phenomenon, that's why you decided to talk to him for the first time, but he didn't seem particularly interested in you. Maybe he's shy, but you don't know
"Wait, Itoshi!" you say running towards him, the bass weighing on your shoulders "I'm convinced I can handle the speed with which you play your guitar, I can be your bassist!" you say, and he seems to think about it “Are you good?” he asks raising an eyebrow, and you nod "Many say that I am the best bassist of my age, in our music school" you say a little embarrassed. You see him a little perplexed as he takes the case over his shoulder "Do you have anything to do this afternoon?" he asks, and you shake your head to say no, following him with a smile on your face
As you walk towards Sae's house, you think about how you ended up in this situation: you don't even know why you care so much about being his bassist, but you think that he is capable of giving you notes that can make you electrify. You've been playing bass for 5 years now, and when you heard that the new guitarist at the music school you go was looking for some good bass players, you took the opportunity. Sae is 12 years old, a little older than you, but he already seems to be great at what he does; you have fairly high expectations, both on his part and on your part
"Come, we can go to the garage" says the child entering a small garden, taking a path that surrounds the road, which leads to the back. You follow him, looking around curiously, noticing how the outside of the house is very nice. When you arrive at the back Sae takes you into the already open garage, which overlooks a very well-kept garden, probably from her mother "You can connect your bass to that speaker. Shall we try some songs?" he asks, plugging in his guitar, and you nod, following the order that he gave you “You start, I'll join you and give you the right rhythm. After all, that's what the bass does"
Sae begins, and after a few seconds you join him: you both start playing a strong melody from a song you studied in music school, one you particularly like. Even though you've never played together you seem to have been doing it for a long time, as if a chemical reaction had taken place between your bass and his guitar. Play for minutes on end, until you reach the end
“That was so cool!” you say happy, but he doesn't seem to share the same happiness, despite being calm "It was nice. Let's try again with something else" he says, and you nod getting into position, yours fingers on the bass keys. For the second time you start playing without any problems, and you feel so happy to finally have someone who can give you emotions when he plays: you've been playing for a while, you know how it works to be paired with someone for a duet, you've always gotten along well with everyone because you're talented, but you've never had fun. But now you're doing it, you're not the only one with so much talent. It's satisfying, magical, beautiful
But as you play, you notice how someone is peeking from the last step of the garage stairs, the ones that probably lead to the first floor
Finished playing, Sae puts down the guitar, climbing onto the first step "Rin!" he says, and you are confused "If you are interested, you can come down. Observing is rude" says Itoshi, and a child comes out from behind the door, that is, from where he was hiding while he was looking at you "Sorry, Nii San" says the child coming down the stairs, looking down and apologetic
Seeing him like this, he is probably his younger brother; he could be your age, since you should be more or less the same height. He is quite different from Sae, except for the marked undereyelashes, perhaps a symbol of the Itoshi family: he has dark green hair, teal eyes and chubby cheeks. He is quite a bit shorter than Sae, that's why you're convinced he's his younger brother
When he reaches the garage floor, after going down the stairs, his gaze shifts to you: you observe each other for a few seconds, you curious about him and him for who knows what reason, which however doesn't make him look away
"Rin, I told you it's rude to stare. Introduce yourself to her" Sae says, walking over, placing a hand on his shoulder. Rin becomes serious again, standing up straight "I'm Rin Itoshi. I'm Sae's younger brother" the boy says, and Sae nods "He's 10, you should be the same age, right?" he asks, and you nod "I have 10 too, yeah"
Rin's gaze continually shifts between you and your bass as he stands a few feet away from you. You look at him curiously "Do you like my bass?" you ask, moving closer, and he takes a few steps back "Oh, yes" he says uncertainly, but you don't seem bothered by his uncertainty "Do you play an instrument too?" you ask, and Sae walks away, returning to his guitar, which he puts back on
“He said he wants to start sing-” Sae says, but is cut off from the ringing voice of his brother
"I want to play bass"
TAGLIST: @x3nafix ; @kittenish0 ; @littlejapanesesightseeingtrip ; @pan-kojiwa ; @pookalicious-hq ; @kaz-0e ; @sof888a ; @chugging-bleach ; @matchablossomsss ; @lovelymeguru ; @thebestsetter ; @yamsverse ; @princesssae ; @yuukigyatgyat ; @azharyy ; @rwbie ; @bubybubsters ; @swagkittybear ; @syarc0re ; @rink1sser ; @frogsrules ; @hwaassaa ; @chuuyalvover
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osakhee · 2 days ago
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new game, dom!camboy!sungchan x sub!camboy!wonbin
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previous parts action! (1), level up (2)
! mxm content :3 dom/sub dynamic, blowjob and handjob(s), a bit of face fucking..., overstimulation, nipple play, slight cum play, sungchan is a bit mean again, degradation, manipulation, use of slut/whore
if mxm content isn't your thing please don't read :)
oh how thick is the air . how heavy is the tension. wonbin can barely face his roommate. imagine having to keep living with someone who overstimulated you on your own camboy live? that's exactly wonbin's problem.
sungchan is not really at ease either. he had created his own channel and after jerking off on live once, he became addicted to the feeling of being watched, and even more to the clinging sound of the money dropping in his inbox when he lifted his shirt to flash his toned stomach. the more he groaned audibly the more the viewers number grew. sungchan could only guess how easily wonbin got obsessed with the website and the red dot of the camera.
but the worse is that sungchan can't get out of his head what he did to wonbin. having his roommate tied up and completely at his mercy, crying as he spilled ropes of cum on the vibrator sungchan used. the sight of wonbin's damp face and his long black hair all messed up and sticking to his forehead and cheeks, whimpers leaving his plump lips each time he breathed... sungchan can only imagine how much money he helped wonbin make that day, how rich this slut might be now, he thinks. it keeps sungchan up at night, the thought of his friend using the money HE gave him by roughing him up on his live, shouldn't he be thankful? once again, sungchan sits up on his bed and rubs his tense thighs with his palms, he ignores how the tent in his sweatpants twitches at the simple touch. he needs to get off so badly. is wonbin touching himself on the other side of the wall? is he thinking about their last encounter? it's making sungchan dizzy.
wonbin peaks out of his room carefully. he checks both sides of the corridor. there's no sight of his roommate, and he lets out the breath he was holding. he can start his day without having the strange feeling of his friend's eyes burning holes into his back. wonbin feels awkward around him now, but he doesn't know why. is he shy? or is he aroused? it gets worse when sungchan comes back from the gym and lays his eyes on him. their usual lively cohabitation turned into both of them living in their rooms and avoiding each other. wonbin believes it's for the exact same reasons. but what reasons? he doesn't know the answer.
wonbin gets out of the shower with only his towel wrapped messily around his waist, music plays from his phone and he hums the song while getting ready. he's immersed in his routine, in every moves he does mechanically everyday. until there's on his path an object that's not supposed to be here and stops his progression. his heart does a backflip in his ribcage and he puts a hand on his chest to slow the nervous beating when he looks up at sungchan. his roommate doesn't seem bothered, his eyes stare at wonbin's wet hair and the droplets of water that fall down the column of his throat. his eyes travel his friend's slim chest and waist, only looking up when wonbin takes a step back.
"wonbin."
"that's me... you good..?"
"i think we should talk."
"can i get dressed before that or- uh nevermind i'll be back in a minute..."
wonbin feels so stupid, what could he be implying with these words? blood rushes to his face while he puts on his black hoodie. he caught sungchan's gaze looking at his body and it only tightens the feeling in his stomach. whatever his friend wants to talk about, he needs to be fast so wonbin can get out of the apartment and start breathing slowly again.
sungchan sits on their couch. it's been a while since he even went into their living room. they used to spend hours there watching movies, and now he's about to talk about sex with his roommate, sex that implies the both of them. sungchan isn't nervous at all, but warmth still creeps up his spine. could it be the sight of wonbin fresh out of the shower that got him feeling all flushed? nah, it can't be. all he knows is that he has a good idea, and wonbin owes him a lot anyway.
wonbin walks inside the living room and brushes his damp black strands out of his face. he stays standing when sungchan turns to him. and then, silence. a long silence, wonbin prays he would hear sungchan's words in his head so they both don't need to speak and he can run away.
"so... what did you want to talk about?"
"how much money did you make last week?
"what?"
what a weird question. wonbin furrows his brows and looks into sungchan's eyes. he acts clueless but he knows what kind of money his friend is talking about.
"the website. how much did you make?"
"that's none of your business i think..."
"well it is. i believe your viewers remember how much you begged me to let you cum while looking like a pathetic whore. all because of me isn't it? how is it to make money off my help?"
wonbin's faint blush reaches his ears and covers the back of his neck, turning the faint freckles in a slight pink canvas. he looks away and sungchan gets up. wonbin swallows with difficulty.
"answer me."
"w-well i make a lot okay?"
"never as much as that day right?"
"...what do you want..?"
sungchan gets one step closer and wonbin looks up to meet his eyes. he always felt safe with his friend, but right now he feels really small. sungchan is big, broad shoulders and strong arms, wonbin winces when his roommate rests his large hand on his shoulder.
"i had an idea. we could both make money, and feel good. and we're friends right? we should work together again."
"i'm not... that sure-"
"you owe me this don't you? i've made you famous. so do something for me."
silence again.
"i'm listening..."
"we'll do a live together again. and do more than that stupid foreplay like last time. and boom, money and pleasure for the both of us. but let's strictly keep it as friends helping each others out."
of course, money and pleasure as friends. wonbin just nods, and sungchan flashes a smile. suddenly wonbin sees again his bubbly friend, but the glint in his eyes is different. it's darker, and it's hungry. he doesn't know if he's really excited to find out what that tingle means, but his body speaks for him. wonbin feels the foreign warmth bubble in his stomach again. with a last look at sungchan, he grabs his bag and walks out of the apartment. he's never been more eager to drown himself in his commercial and industry books.
sungchan paces around his room. he's getting excited, the idea of being in front of the camera again makes his heart beat loudly in his ears. the fact that he will be doing it with wonbin again also heightens his excitement. it's almost 9, night has fallen outside, sungchan's room now being only illuminated by the screen of his gaming computer. wonbin is supposed to knock at his door any minute to tell him he's ready. but wonbin is everything but ready, he sits cross legged on his bed and zones out looking at his pc. the website is opened with his channel, he wrote a message a few hours ago saying he'll be doing a special live and not alone. this is the first time he's ever been this nervous before a live. but cumming a few times and making money can't be that bad honestly, and it's not like sungchan and him aren't... friends... after all.
wonbin softly knocks on sungchan's door and his tall friend appears. he walks out of his room and grabs his wrist, guiding him back into wonbin's room. the place is comfortably dimmed, his bed is well made unlike the usual, and the camera is ready to be started on the screen. sungchan doesn't speak but he takes off his black tank top, and wonbin sits on his bed. what is he supposed to do now, start the live and wait? usually, he likes to talk with his chat and do a few of his viewers' requests. but since there's no one guiding him, should he get started by himself? and how to even include sungchan in all of this?
_parkw0nbin is live with jvngsvngch4n!
his roommate doesn't waste time. sungchan turns on the live and walks up to wonbin, he sits down next to him. wonbin avoids his eyes and plays with the strings of his hoodie.
"are you not gonna do shit now that we're here?"
wonbin opens his mouth to reply but he's cut by the sudden press of sungchan's lips against his. his friend grabs the back of his neck and pulls on his hair, forcing his head up as he roughly captures his mouth. strong fingers tug at wonbin's black strands, and teeth bite his lower lip, making him whine. sungchan takes this opportunity to slide his tongue inside and deepen their exchange. they're both getting breathless, wonbin holds both of sungchan's wrists as he whimpers in his roommate's mouth, he needs to take a breath but each time they part he's met with sungchan's plush lips again. when finally his friend lets go of him, wonbin takes a deep breath and licks his lips, cutting the strand of saliva that kept them connected.
comments flow on the live, the infamous tingle of the money dropping brings wonbin back to reality. he checks out of few anonymous comments, from his usual viewers to new people, and they all seem to mention one thing : sungchan. how wide his back is, how toned his chest is, and how strong his arms seem.
anonymous user gave you tip : why is wonbin fully clothed
anonymous user gave you a tip : i think we're about to see crazy stuff
wonbin watches sungchan through the live on the screen. he's getting too embarrassed to turn around and face him. his friend is sat at the edge of the bed, his hand already inside his black boxers as he looks right into the camera, right into his eyes through the pc. wonbin feels his face burn and his stomach churn again with a warm feeling. he slowly takes his hoodie off and stays in his grey sweatpants, the waistband of his underwear clinging low on his hips. his own cock is starting to harden at the familiar noise of money on his stream and his favorite nicknames thrown into the chat.
he finally walks back to sungchan. his roommate has been waiting for him eagerly, the bulge in his underwear strains the fabric. he pulls it down to reveal his hardened length and rests on his palms on the bed, legs parted in a silent invitation. wonbin knows. he knows what he wants and it makes him burn inside. he looks at the screen and drops to his knees without a word. sungchan's hand grips his hair, making him look up from his kneeling position.
"you're such a good slut aren't you... eager to please your chat hm? go on, use me to make them happy."
anonymous user gave you a tip : finally seeing wonbin's pretty lips to good use!
use him? sungchan is the one using wonbin. he looks down at his friend's cock begging for attention and carefully wraps an hand around it. it's bigger than his, warm and throbbing in his palm, tip already dripping with heavy beads of precum. he gives a tentative lick and he hears sungchan groaning at the feeling. the grip on his hair gets tighter, his face gets shoved closer to his roommate's pelvis. wonbin stops taking his time and parts his plump lips, dark pink from the intense making out. sungchan holds him into place before he can even get his tongue out and he grips his dick, tapping this tip a few times on wonbin's lips. one more tug on the long black hair in his hand and finally he feels a warm mouth enveloping his painful erection, he closes his eyes only to open them right after so he can watch wonbin.
his roommate slowly swirls his tongue around the head of his cock and suck on his slit like he's been giving blowjobs his whole life. he keeps gagging and he feels his jaw locking from the intrusion in his mouth yet he doesn't stop. he tries bobbing his head and take more of sungchan but the tip hits the roof of his mouth and he needs to take a break to cough. his eyes are slightly teary, a strand of precum still connects him to his roommate's dick. sungchan is looking at him with a satisfied grin, and he uses his hand in wonbin's hair to make him look at the camera. wonbin's chest heaves rapidly, his lips are swollen and damp with his friend's arousal, his own cock jumps into his sweats when his hair gets tugged on a little more. he's already such a beautiful mess.
sungchan is impatient to feel the addictive pleasure of wonbin's mouth again and he yanks him back in place, he forces his head down on his length and watches him take as much as he can in his mouth. sungchan throws his head back in bliss, his hips twitch when wonbin starts moving up and down again. the wet noise of saliva covering his skin and the slight gagging sound make him dizzy, his orgasm starts clawing at his lower stomach. wonbin stops again to catch his breath and sungchan's eyes snap open.
"did i tell you to stop?"
rough hands grab wonbin's face and he pushes his tip inside his mouth, sungchan thrusts his hips up into the warmth. the way he can see his roommate's eyes roll back from behind his messy black hair sends jolts of pleasure through his veins like liquid fire. his lips are parted to let every low moans out, he hisses as the feeling of his climax gets closer again. tears flows from wonbin's eyes and he gives up on doing his job, he lets sungchan take care of himself with his mouth. drool spills from his lips and down his chin, droplets hit his right hand that furiously fist his own cock at the same pace as sungchan's hips.
sungchan's thrusts get more messy and he suddenly pulls wonbin's face away right as the first rope of cum erupts from his slit. he holds his roommate by the jaw and quickly jerks himself off through his orgasm, painting him in hot jets of pearly fluid. it sticks to wonbin's cheeks, it drips from his parted lips and down the corner of his mouth. his breath is ragged as he squeezes his dick in his hand to stop himself from cumming on the spot. sungchan rubs his sensitive tip on wonbin's face and looks at the messy canvas he just painted. his thumb wipes his friend's cheek and pushes it into his mouth, he watches as wonbin suck every drop of his release that covered it.
behind them, money never stopped dropping, way over sungchan's initial hopes, comments fly so fast on the screen and the number of viewers keeps increasing. it gets crazier when sungchan holds wonbin's hair and makes him stand up for the camera, showing his cum stained face and his leaking cock dangling between his legs, ready to burst at any second. sungchan keeps his roommate standing as he wraps his large hand around his hard length, his pace is relentless, each stroke made to push him over the edge.
wonbin squirms around, his legs are weak and wobbly. the roughness of sungchan's hand on his sensitive cock makes him dizzy. his head fall forward when his roommate lets go of his hair, but soon enough sungchan's free hand wraps around his throat, holding him up. he doesn't squeeze or block his airflow, he just holds him in place until wonbin's back rests against his friend's warm chest.
"tell them wonbin. how dirty and messy you are."
"i-i'm dirty... a m-mess i'm a mess- fuck please..."
fingers get shove down his throat and wonbin's eyes roll back again, he drools over sungchan's hand as he spills a thick load on the floor. the warm hands get away from him and he slowly drops to his knees, ragged breaths coming from his parted lips. stars dances in front of his eyes from the strength of his orgasm, pleasure still sends shivers down his spine. he pushes his fingers into his hair to get them out of the way and wipes his face with the back of his hand. cum already dried on his cheeks, and he rubs his skin to get rid of it.
anonymous user gave you a tip : that's some crazy content
anonymous user gave you a tip : share more plsssss
anonymous user gave you a tip : is he done with wonbin already?
wonbin reads through the comments with hooded eyes, he stands up and looks at the screen. he's about to turn off the live.
"do you think we're done?"
sungchan grabs his wrist and tears him away from his computer.
"get on the bed. it's not over yet."
wonbin squeaks at the strength sungchan used, he is carelessly thrown on the bed. he looks up at his roommate towering him, his large frame hides the screen and the camera from him, his cock is starting to harden again just from seeing wonbin's hazy eyes. sungchan grips wonbin's shoulders and attacks his neck, he sinks his teeth into the soft skin and sucks on it like a starved man. wonbin's hands claw at his messy sweatpants, he's able to hold his whines until sungchan's tongue laps at his nipple. he arches into his friend's touch, the feeling of warm lips tugging on the sensitive pink bud makes him moan a little too loud. his other nipple is rolled between sungchan's rough fingers, he pinches it a little harder earning a squeak from wonbin.
sungchan admires his work, faint red spots covering his dark haired friend's chest and neck, nipples hard and perking up. wonbin is fully hard again from sungchan's ministrations, he still feel so sensitive. but his roommate is careless, he wraps a large hand around his length and squeezes his tip, wonbin catches his wrist in an attempt to stop the painful pleasure that makes his whole body shiver suddenly. sungchan crawls closer to him and he guides his own throbbing dick with his hand until it pokes wonbin's stomach. when wonbin looks down, he watches his roommate grip both their cocks in his palm, his hips twitch forward at their sensitive skins rubbing together.
jerking off together turns out to be sungchan's new favorite source of pleasure. he can't stop himself from grinding into his fist, he rubs the head of his cock against wonbin's sensitive erection. him neither can't control himself, he keeps withdrawing his dick out of the tight grip but the sensations have his hips thrusting back into it. precum covers sungchan's fingers and drips down both their lengths, each move of his hand mingles their arousals together in a wet noise. wonbin's eyes are focus on their cocks sliding in and out of sungchan's warm hand, every part of his body screams at him to fuck his hips faster into his friend's palm. the grip tightens a little and their tips are pressed together, slits rubbing over each other's and they both moan, a low sound from sungchan and a more high pitched whine from wonbin.
sungchan finds the strength through the dizzying pleasure to add strokes to their already wet mess, wonbin humps his hand faster with his eyes shut. his roommate's free hand ends into his black hair again, tugging his face up to meet his eyes. the roughness and the burning in his stomach have wonbin shudder in pleasure, cum splatters on sungchan's fingers and add stickiness and warmth to his grip. he thrusts up one more time, the last rope of fluid dripping down his length, but sungchan doesn't stop yet. wonbin wiggles around, tears form in his eyes but he's held in place by the strong hand who squeezes every bit of his orgasm out of him. sungchan gets up on his knees a little more and slams his hips into his fist, chasing his own impending release. the head of his cock hits repeatedly wonbin's, it glides easily with the amount of arousal that drips onto the bed.
wonbin is a mess, he can't catch his breath. his hands claw at sungchan's wrist, his shoulders are shaken with sobs yet he can't stop looking at his roommate fucking his hand. each thrust sends overwhelming pleasure to his veins, he's dizzy, his thighs shake, the skin of his dick is red and burning from the stimulation. each drag of sungchan's cock on his own has his eyes rolling back into his head, lips parted in choked breaths. the sound of money that drops into his inbox on the screen is long forgotten, only focused on the groans escaping his roommate's lips. sungchan gets bolder with each messy thrust, he's so close, just a little more...
wonbin cums again, his mouth opening in a silent moan before he coughs to get the breath that got stuck into his throat out. he cums so little yet his orgasm sends him an electric shock through his whole body, his cock twitches with each wave of pleasure. the sight pushes sungchan over the edge, he finally releases wonbin's poor cock to jerk off properly. his much heavier load hits wonbin's stomach in warm and pearly ropes, he strokes himself until the last droplet beads at his slit. for a long moment, the room resonates only with their heavy breathing and the chat losing its mind on the screen. wonbin lays on his side after the intensity of his climax, his stomach painted and dripping on the sheets. his chest heaves harshly and each breath burns his throat.
sungchan's parted lips are swollen from biting it, his breaths are slower but they strain his lungs. he gets up from the bed and rest his hands on the desk. he looks at the screen, he checks the money, he checks the viewers count, and he's more than satisfied. the live is cut abruptly before he walks back to wonbin. half lidded eyes through messy black strands look up at him, and wonbin manages to sit up on his bed. he wipes away the cum on his skin with his hand and he looks away. is it done? did they do well? all he knows is that he really needs to sleep and sleep well. his poor dick is so sensitive it sends him jolts of warmth each time he tries to move.
"so... how d-did it go..?"
"we've made much more than i ever imagined."
wonbin nods, his mind still foggy from his intense release. sungchan picks up his clothes and puts on his shorts, he hands wonbin his black hoodie.
"not so bad wasn't it? pleasure and money. that makes us great friends. right?"
wonbin hums as answer. friends. amazing friends. sungchan ruffles his already messed up hair before he walks out of his room. wonbin lays on his bed but he's not able to form a single thought, all he thinks about is the feeling of sungchan's hand around his throat.
he's not surprised to find his very good friend's tongue down his throat while they make out in the shower after avoiding each others for a few days. he's not surprised either to feel addicted to the feeling of his cock in his mouth. people always tell them they share such a great friendship, they care about each others so much. great friends are meant to help each other's out, right? right?????
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ruleroftheimps · 2 days ago
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I'm just going to throw this out here. Vox only seems as weak as he does because of his role in season one. All the Vees had a scene where they lost control and were just honestly pathetic, and a scene where they were cool and collected, but because of how it's set up, it looks like people completely overlook Velvette being pathetic and focus on Vox's patheticness. Which is fun to play around with, but I feel like a lot of people just don't acknowledge he's, in theory, a fairly decent threat, especially against the Hazbin Hotel. There's definitely going to be a reason he's one of the main antagonists.
It's sort of long, so cut here lol.
For starters, to back up my claim of they were all pathetic at some point, when we first meet Velvette, she's throwing a hissy fit about Val. He's literally right there, and yet she can't be assed to do anything about it and instead calls Vox to solve her problems for her, and then complains about Val ripping apart her models, despite her not doing anything. People love to riff on Val and Vox for being man children, which, yes, they are at times, but they completely disregard the fact that when we first meet Velvette, she's acting like a spoiled brat. Valentino is the same, throwing a fit about Angel Dust. They're all equally pathetic.
The thing is, Velvette and Valentino were glossed over fairly quick. Vox had a whole song about it.
The same thing about them all being equally cunning and collected, which I actually doubt myself. I think Vox is the most collected of them all, not Velvette. Yes, he did the same, basically had a temper tantrum when he found out Alastor came back, but it makes logical sense when we look at their interaction later and Vox is scared of him. He's worried. But once he calms down, he sits down and comes up with a plan that's actually very logical and well-thought out. Er, to some extent. Picking Pentious probably wasn't the greatest, but I think, based on the drones we see everywhere later on and his reaction to Pentious getting caught, Vox wasn't taking Valentino's idea of putting a spy in the hotel seriously. He's nonchalant, and has a backup plan. And the way he handled the paparazzi is a sign that he IS able to deal in high-stress situations with ease.
And no, that's not saying Valentino and Velvette don't have their moments. In Masquerade, Val's smart about how he approaches Charlie being there, and Velvette's extremely clever in Scrambled Eggs (Er, possibly. I doubt she and the other Vees didn't talk about it before hand and theorize then, and their goal was NOT to start a way but to gain info, but her noticing Carmilla's reaction was definitely a point for her.). But they're not more clever than Vox, they just get more screen time as actual villains, probably because of their roles in this season. Velvette's there explicitly to set up for the reveal Carmilla killed an angel, and Valentino's meant to be the main enemy of Angel Dust throughout the series to build his character. Vox? Well, right now we just need to know he exists and doesn't like Alastor, for future plot lines. And also comedic relief in episode 8, because, come on, almost everything he says in that episode is just funny. (And also emphasizing how much he hates Alastor/is obsessed with Alastor losing) And yeah, the pacing about introducing him could have been better, building him up to be a threat and then having Alastor take him down, but for 8 episodes, they did a fair job. And a part of me wonders if we're meant to overestimate Alastor and underestimate Vox, especially after the Adam fight.
And why I say he has the potential to be a big threat to the Hotel has to do with the scene we have when he's getting introduced, and what we see in Helluva Boss about Voxflix being on Blitzø's phone. He's everywhere, he has power over his viewers, and his grip on media is so tight, even Hellborns use his services. What's the Hotel's main issue at the moment? A lack of guests, which is at least in part caused by poor advertising. Anybody else think it's not coincidence the 'emergency broadcast' happened just as the Hotel's advertisement began to play?
Tl;dr, Vox is more powerful than people seem to believe, even if he's pathetic as all hell a lot during his limited screen time, probably mostly because he has no big role in the current season.
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beesgobzzzing · 4 hours ago
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Käärijä's life after Eurovision - almost burned out
Translation under the break!
Käärijä came, saw and conquered - kind of - in Eurovision 2023. After having almost burned out he's now back with new music and a clear statement: - I love Sweden, really, he tells Expressen.
Käärijä was on location in Luleå on Saturday for the first semi of Melodifestivalen, where he made up an interval act together with Hooja.
After Eurovision I got a lot of Swedish fans, I love them and want to say thank you for everything they do for me. In Eurovision 2023 he almost won. He came in second, after "Tattoo" by Loreen. A loss that stung, both for him and for Finland, since he got the most public votes, but not enough jury votes. - I've moved on. Life has moved on, you can't get stuck on it. It's just a competition, it's a big thing of course, but it doesn't matter who wins.
Are you doing okay? - I'm okay, but I think some Finns are angry. But I think they need to move on, Loreen is a fantastic artist and a loveable person and it's not her fault that she won - of course it's her fault - but people voted, then she won.
What have you been doing since Eurovision? - Of course a lot of things have happened since Eurovision. Good things, bad things. I've made a new album, done a lot of gigs, gotten new friends from other countries, not just Finland. I've started speaking more Finnish, he says and laughs.
How was everything right after the success of Eurovision? - If I think back on 2023… It was hard. People recognized me everywhere and I couldn't leave my house. It was a happy but also sad time. My life changed, over night. - I'm still waiting until I can take a month or two off. After Eurovision I had a week off. A week! It doesn't matter what you do - it's not enough. I'm still waiting until I am able to take more time off. I love my work, but you have to be able to rest.
Did you get over worked? - Kind of, yes. You get to a point where you do a bunch of different things - and you get paid for it. Everyone wants to work when they get well paid for it, that's the truth and that's what it was like for me too. But now, I can say no if I don't want to do something.
Because you're rich now? - Yes, exactly, he laughs.
On Friday he released "San Francisco Boy" together with Hooja. - It is not a Käärijä-song, or a Hooja-song. It is what happens when you put three crazy guys together, that's when you get this kind of song. For me it's about being the person you want to be. You can be a disco boy, a party boy - or a San Francisco boy.
The trio got into contact in 2024 and started collaborating. - The boys came to Finland and we hung out in the studio for a couple of days, we made a few songs.
A few? - Maybe a few, but we don't know if we're going to release the others. You never know. But "San Francisco Boy", everyone liked it. We'll see about the others.
What is happening next for you? - I am not doing as many gigs this year. There are a few summer gigs. But now we're making music, a bunch of new music and I'm spending a lot of time in the studio, working, after that we'll see what happens.
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jinxedshapeshifter · 1 day ago
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I'm tired and aroace, so here's a reading from that perspective on Klavier's character arc in Apollo Justice
Something that's really interesting to me is that it's actually really easy to read Klavier as experiencing internalized homophobia. I'm not even just saying this to say it. It's not really obvious but I think it is a valid reading of Klav's character. Adding to this, I think you could read Guilty Love/Love Love Guilty as a representation of compulsory heterosexuality or even amatonormativity. To be clear this doesn't make the reading of him being bisexual or pansexual or anything else any more or less valid, but I do think reading Klavier as experiencing internalized homophobia and Guilty Love/Love Love Guilty being a song about compulsory heterosexuality and/or amatonormativity adds a lot to his character.
I don't even know how to explain my thinking here. Klavier's preference for prosecuting over music could be thought of as an allegory for being aroace. Like absolutely maybe I'm high off of sleep deprivation but consider it for a second. We know Klavier wrote 13 Years Hard Time For Love when he was 17. 13 Years Hard Time For Love, like Guilty Love, has official lyrics (Klav, buddy, you are fucking ridiculous). Neither 13 Years Hard Time For Love nor Guilty Love come off as Klavier being happy about his situation (obviously I might just be misreading the translated lyrics or projecting my own interpretation but regardless). Even ignoring potential readings of the two official lyrical versions of the Gavinners' music we have, let's go back to that "Klavier's preference for prosecuting over music could be an allegory for being aroace" thing.
Aside from the obvious, that being Klavier's music is mostly if not all love songs regarding crime in one way or another (13 Years Hard Time For Love treats the love itself as a crime, while Guilty Love is basically Klavier singing to a hypothetical girlfriend about having a preference for prosecution and even romanticizing a crime scene), when you consider what a rockstar's life is like, it's really easy to read Klavier breaking up the Gavinners and focusing on prosecution as embracing aromanticism/asexuality.
To be clear, I'm not saying you can't be aroace and a rockstar. You absolutely can. In Klavier's case specifically however, he had a history of writing love songs. How he handles it in Guilty Love feels like he's forcing it, and how he handles it in 13 Years Hard Time For Love feels off in a way I can't really place? It's not quite like he's forcing it, but it still feels off. It's almost like at the age of 17 he'd never dated anyone before, or if he had, the relationship sucked, and he took that as what relationships were supposed to be like. Guilty Love feels like a traditional breakup song with the added twist that the songwriter is a prosecutor and injects that into everything he fucking does (but also has the added twist that he improvises a line that would imply part of the reason for the breakup is because he'd rather be spending time with Apollo, which is where my thought that Klavier could be experiencing internalized homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality comes from).
"But Jinx, didn't he write a song called My Boyfriend Is The Prosecution's Witness?" Yeah, but we don't know exactly when he wrote it or what the lyrics are. For all we know, it could continue with the vibe I get of "I don't think this man has a healthy relationship with romance" from Guilty Love and 13 Years Hard Time For Love. The fact that Klavier injects crime into his songs further stands out to me because that just. Doesn't seem healthy? Like yes, we only have the lyrics to two of the Gavinners' songs, but on the other end of that, associating romance with crime in the way Klavier does in Guilty Love and 13 Years Hard Time For Love is weird. In Guilty Love he breaks up with someone because he prefers prosecution and he romanticizes crime scenes (the two aren't related I just worded it weird sorry lol), and in 13 Years Hard Time For Love it feels like he's flip-flopping between "this is a relationship I'm enjoying" and "I would really rather not be in this relationship" which is really obvious when that relationship is compared to a prison, specifically a "prison of love where the key never opens" which. Is a line. And also implies that he sees the relationship as akin to a prison (and let's also acknowledge that Klavier is singing 13 Years Hard Time For Love from the perspective opposite his own; that being, someone being prosecuted instead of the prosecutor). I also want to point out that if we decide to just go off of song titles, it's certainly something. Aside from Guilty Love and 13 Years Hard Time For Love, we have:
Love With No Chance Of Parole
My Boyfriend Is The Prosecution's Witness
Atroquinine, My Love
Sir are you okay? what is your experience with romance and why does it seem like none of it is good
Anyway, I don't think Klavier has a healthy relationship with romance and I'd honestly be surprised if this doesn't also extend to sex. Even if he's not aroace-spec, there's something there that seems to just give him a not great perspective on romance. This could be a lot of things obviously. Negative experiences, a bitter breakup, lack of experience, it could be a lot of things.
"But he flirts with Ema and Apollo, so he must have some experience with romance." Not necessarily. I've never been in a proper relationship in my life and am also aroace-spec and still sometimes flirt with people when the impulse hits. I'm not exactly flirtatious like Klavier is, but I'll still flirt with or tease people if the opportunity presents itself. No relationship experience and being aroace doesn't immediately mean you can't flirt successfully lol. This also brings me back to the topic of amatonormativity and Klavier experiencing compulsory heterosexuality.
Personally I think an argument could be made for Klavier being polyamorous. I promise this is relevant but let me explain why I say this first. The entire conversation about Klavier's guitars during Turnabout Serenade when you run into him in his office is what I'll be referencing here. It's not a long conversation, but it's still relevant.
Apollo: Look at all the guitars! Why so many? Klavier: You can never have too many guitars. They are like… my lovers. Apollo: (I didn't just hear him say that.) Trucy: They're backup guitars, Apollo. Don't you know anything? Rock 'n' rollers always smash their guitars at the end of a show! Apollo: No wonder it's so hard to make it as a musician. Trucy: You know what, you should try rocking a little, Apollo. Apollo: And breaking his guitars while he watches? That might be a little too rocking. Klavier: Ah ha ha ha. Of course, I would never do such a thing. Did I not say, they are like my lovers? Do I seem like the kind of man who would do such a thing to ones he loves? Trucy: No, no! Not at all! I mean, you're Mr. Gavin, upstanding prosecutor!
That first line from Klavier, to me at least, feels like he's basically saying "You can never have too many lovers!" Why is this relevant to this post? Because amatonormativity generally includes monogamy. Even if Klavier is just polyamorous and not aroace (although I 100% think he's both poly and aroace-spec), he'd still be affected by amatonormativity.
This brings me to another thing. Klavier feels most like he's being himself around Apollo and Ema (and Trucy and Athena by extension since they're always investigating with Apollo in AJ:AA and Dual Destinies respectively but that's beside the point. Klavier feels most like he's being himself when he's interacting with Apollo and Ema specifically). It's worth noting that Apollo and Ema, much like Klavier, work in law, which means they end up in court a lot. This further means that if he started a relationship with either or both of them, he wouldn't have to worry about his job getting in the way of a relationship. He trusts both of them (which seems to be the only point in AJ:AA where his willingness to trust people didn't come back to bite him in the ass but I digress) and they seem to trust him, even if they do find him obnoxious. He wouldn't have any reason to not be himself around them, and I think that mutual trust would give Klavier a relationship (or relationships) that he doesn't feel like he has to force to work. He probably wouldn't feel like he's abandoning them every time he prosecutes a case (which is how it's implied he feels in Guilty Love) because there's a non-zero chance that they're also going to be working on that case, and they wouldn't have to worry about his attention being on his work too much because let's be honest, they're all workaholics and would probably be working on the same case.
So basically, I think at the very least it's easy to read Klavier as experiencing a bunch of negativity in regards to his sexual orientation, however you imagine it, and I think reading him breaking up the Gavinners as an aroace coming out metaphor is a 10/10 reading. I might make a better version of this post because I doubt it's very coherent but I'm too tired for that right now lol. This barely makes sense to me, and I wrote it. So I won't judge anyone for saying this is barely comprehensible. Anyway I'm gonna go eat some breakfast then get some sleep
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Okay but consider this...
Lillith did not, in fact, order Alastor to go to the hotel or protect Charlie (per say)
In fact, she might have slapped the exact opposite order on the deer, because she knew what a nightmare he could be.
It would be inifinitely more fun to have her reveal that when she drops in for a visit.
"So you sent Alastor here to protect me?"
"My dear, I told him explicitly not to fucking come here in order to protect you. But he's a wilful bastard and I should have known better." Lillith sighed, rubbing her eyes.
"So why did you come here?"
"Why, pure spite and a desire for entertainment my dear. Why not?"
"...if that's true, why didn't you ask for my soul in our deal? I... would hope my mother would trade it for your own."
"She may have, she may not have. She could just force me to release it to her too, you know that's in her power."
"That didn't answer my question..."
Lillith laughs, "Darling, I think you actually endeared yourself to the Overlord when you fought that horrid mantis woman on television. He genuinely enjoys that level of chaos... and the fact he remained against my many subtle attempts to have him leave, means perhaps the stubborn deer might actually like you."
"Preposterous, it's mere entertainment..."
"Like Rosie? Like Vox? Are they entertainment? You let her hug you and didn't even try to bite Charlie once. Oh don't get steamed, deer, I'm just yanking your tail... it's not a bad thing to care for someone. And my-... Our darling daughter..." here she winked, having scryed the initial song battle between Alastor and Lucifer, grinning widely. The two were so similar when it came to theatricality, and yet, so different in terms of everything else. "here is just the sort of creature that no one but the bleakest of fools could fail to care for."
"...how dare you imply I have any emotions, you wretched diva." The tone was mock offence and joviality, and only Lillith's echoing laughter stopped Lucifer from defending her majesty's honour.
"Oh, you do, and I'm sure you're quite fawn'd of Charlotte, you antagonistic anachronistic ancient artifact." She bounces back, airily.
"Ho, I know one should never ask a lady her age, but I don't think there's a number high enough for you to provide in answer."
"I missed these little banter sessions, Bambi, it got quite boring without someone mocking my every waking moment."
"And your husband is a poor substitute for your cruel wit, Siren, and yet... we made do with what we had. Now, how are you here? I thought Adam's little nonsense kept you pinned in place?"
"I believe Niffty took the pest out on my behalf and snapped the threads binding me there. Do get her something pretty from Rosie's and put it on my account, I know the demonic doll will adore anything from her boutique."
"Hello, can I get a word in edgewise?" Lucifer has this too-cheerful grin on his face, waving his hand like an eager student aiming for the attention of the teacher. "Hi, your husband, hello. Quick question, what the fuck are you talking about? How do you know the bellhop? How is Adam involved in any of this? And again, what the FUCK is going on here?"
"Oh... did I not say, my love?" Lillith coos, a trembling note that she knew angels used between one another to help settle ffrazzled nerves. It was always a delightful amusement to see Lucifer's ruffled feathers settle. Intriguingly, the little ex-orcist does to, and then looks confused about it. "Why, I was trapped in Heaven with my boorish first fool of a 'husband', to prevent more 'rebellion nonsense'. I had to make a rather clever deal to help Alastor get back to Hell, and I technically own his soul... but we've been friends for decades, dear. You've met twice..."
Ah, that might be why Alucard was so pissed to be dismissed, Lucifer realises. Wouldn't be the first time he'd forgotten a face.
"Charlie was abooooout ten at the time, in terms of age, my dove..." Lillith prompts. "The television sinner was there too? Do you recall that?"
"...no. But a lot of those decades were a foggy mess." Lucifer admits, trying to work out how he forgot a guy with a tv for a head. Wait, he remembered the guy with a tv for a head. "Did the television have a yellow sweater on and I kept subtly asking how the fuck he managed to get it on given the neckhole didn't seem that stretchy?"
Audience applause played from the air. "That's the one. The secret was, of course, velcro down the back. He'll say he used his powers to put it on, but he didn't have that ability back then." Alastor explains. "I do believe it was a vaguely productive meeting, even if you were only physically present, your Lowness. Why, I recall we'd taught deer Charlotte at least four new swear words by the time we left..."
Charlie, whose eyes were wide as she Recalled Something, felt her mouth fall open. "Oooooh, so you're the ones who taught me to say [very long and complicated series of words that seem to be sending Lucifer into a state of rage as yet unattainable to sinners with every syllable]... right? I said that to dad when he told me it was bathtime and I didn't want to, and he had to go set something on fire before he came back to talk about 'good words and bad words'."
Vaggie looked horrified, and snapped a glare at the radio demon.
Alastor's grin was WIDER than it should be possible to get. "Are you telling me, my dear Charlotte, was that his Majesty's tantrum was the reason that half of pentagram city was burned to the ground shortly after we left that day? Oho, that's just... delicious."
"Well I shouldn't have said it..." Charlie agonised, "I'm sorry Dad. I mean, it was a while ago,but..."
"Oh, you're not to blame Char-Char... this fucker is." Lucifer launches for Alastor, whose tendrils are manifesting... and then a startled bleat escapes as Lillith yanks him practically into her lap by the collar.
"Hold, Luci, there was no harm done in the long run. And you know I found it hilarious, in the aftermath." Lillith waves it off. She turns to the Overlord trying to right himself. "And you, you terrible influence, I do hope you haven't taught our darling anything worse while I was away?"
Charlie, caught back on the bleat sound, is watching on with stars in her eyes. She blinks. "What? No, he hasn't... well, unless you count [a strange warbling static came out of her mouth as her lips moved in what seemed like words]?"
Alastor's ears went flat in shock. "I promise you I didn't teach her that... I had no idea she could even hear that frequency, nuch less verbalise it!"
"I heard you tell Vox he should-..."
"DO NOT REPEAT THAT!" Alastor just about begged as static spilled about the room. "Do you WANT your parents to reduce me to atoms?"
Charlie blinked. "No? It was a pretty creative threat, but it wasn't that bad..."
Lucifer was pulling at a mental thread from the conversation. "Hold on, can we back up to the part where the deer was in Heaven...? How did that happen?"
Angry static filled the room until it was oppressive. Vaggie clutched at Charlie's arm whilst also putting herself between Charlie and the Overlord.
"Enough of that..." Lillith murmured and tugged at an antler. She received an indignant noise that Alastor wouldn't ever admit to with a gun to his head. "They were going to find out eventually you overdramatic cervine... might as well out with it."
The ears pinned flat. "No."
"Fine, I will... this canibalistic mass-murdering psychopath somehow got accidentally redeemed whilst fending off angels during an extermination. I strongly suspect it was because, even though they had just been fighting to the death, he still put himself in the way of those who would have killed Vox..."
Charlie was flickering between shock, anger, confusion and something that looked like it wanted to be weepy and affectionate. Hopefully she didn't settle for the latter because Lillith and Lucifer would have to pin the deer in place to avoid Alastor throwing himself out a window to avoid the whole mess.
"You... you knew it was possible... and you didn't TELL ME?!" Charlie yelled, settling on Anger.
Alastor grins, "Well, you never directly asked, did you?"
Charlie steamed, then pivoted in the old Charlie Fashion (TM) to joyful. "It's possible?!"
Lillith also adds, "From what I have heard around Heaven, it may not have been the first time... they just keep it quiet. And... well, if someone gets up there who starts doing things like, say, eating Cherubs because they were furious they were trapped there... they usually just killed them off. Unless, of course, they had the Queen of Hell there who could convince them to try another way."
"You ate CHERUBS?! They're like CHILDREN?" Lucifer is aghast.
"They are infuriatingly too-positive little nightmares with no common sense or ability to accept anyone else's viewpoint. Yes. they were delicious."
"...well, okay they're a bit of an experience but eating them?!"
"Most of them are centuries older than myself, they had enough time to learn to back off. I warned them, they persisted, I got to try angelic veal..."
Vaggie looked like she wanted to throw up. "Don't. ever. say that phrase again."
"What, angelic ve-...?"
"You stop taunting my future daughter in law or I order you to let them pet your tail." Lillith warns. It's an empty threat, she was a major proponent of bodily autonomy (anyone who'd been trapped with Adam would be) but Alastor didn't need to know that.
"You wouldn't dare!"
"I would. Now, shall I continue? Lovely. We made a deal, with Adam cosigning because I was under his contract, to allow Alastor to return to Hell as a Sinner... with a few rules that the oaf created. Particularly the one around not raising an army against Heaven, and some poorly worded nonsense about not sharing the secrets of angelic steel and implying he should not be 'fucked with' which we took to assume meant no fighting the fool. Because he certainly made passes at both of us."
Lillith's mouth turned down in distaste. Alastor looked like HE was going to be sick.
Lucifer's expression flickered demonic. "If he wasn't dead, I'd kill him again..." After everything Lillith went through in the Garden, to be trapped with a man who could never learn from his mistakes, was blind to making them. Revolting.
"Didn't want to take the Dickmaster for a spin, Bambi?" he snipes, distracting himself with the casual patter of argumentation with the overlord.
"Why, your majesty, I was busy with your wife... although comparatively, I do have good time management skills, I suppose I COULD have managed if I tried..."
"You did WHAT?!"
Lillith was trying so hard to keep a straight face as she threw a pseudo seductive expression at Alastor. "Oh darling, he's not ready to know about that..." she purrs. She sees her husband attain an almost orange colouring. "We're joking, dear... I promise."
"Dad? Try counting to te-... fifty-seven." Charlie intervenes.
"One, two-... wait, why 57?" he says, colour settling again.
"Because the number was so unusual you'd get curious about it and drop out of your funk to ask."
"...you really are so clever, Char-Char, we really made something amazing when we created you."
"Daaaaaaaaaaad, please... not in front of Vaggie." she flushes.
"Unclench, your Lowness, your wife is aesthetically pleasing but we are but friends." Alastor shrugged.
"Because you liked Vox, right?" Lucifer was awarding himself a mental medal because he REMEMBERED bits of the conversation. Wasn't that sad?
Alastor snarled. "Hardly." Oooh, that seemed like a sore spot. Time to press.
"Didn't like you back, huh? Fair. I can't fucking stand you, and-..."
"Lucifer, leave it." Lillith said. It wasn't harsh or sharp, but it conveyed that she knew something about why the Overlord's expression had fallen behind that smile, even as he forced whatever emotion that meant back into a box and reasserted the mask. "It's complicated, and now is not the time for that conversation. Suffice to say, no one slept with Adam outside of his exorcists, but I did manage to get Alastor back to Hell as swiftly as I could in order to have him covertly assisting Charlie."
"How? If you wouldn't let him at the hotel, then how does that help?"
"Destabilise the Overlords, be more lenient about the souls on his chains trying out the hotel, spread information about the place in a covert manner that wouldn't get a target on you, so many underhanded things my dear. Though, I am glad he disobeyed... I hadn't realised how little you understood of management and staffing."
"Heh, yeah... it was the best we had."
"Charlotte, you could have ordered palace staff to come and help at the hotel, you were always too kind."
"Oh, I dismissed them when you left with Charlie..." Lucifer adds, sheepishly.
"It seems there is a lot I need to do in the interim, then." Lillith sighed. "Alastor, would you be open to helping me manage these tasks, even without the deal in place?"
"...I kept the last hotel together with magical duct tape and elbow grease, it's a matter of pride now to continue in the role." Alastor shrugs, as if unconcerned. The collar shatters with a snap of elegant pale fingers. "Thank you... now, what was it you needed seen to? I will need to schedule in a few hours to go and tear the Vees limb from limb, but outside of that, my calendar's quite open."
"Wait, we need to discuss everything we just learned! I have questions!"
"Later, Charlotte. Now is the time for action..." Alastor replies, radio dial eyes flaring, already planning on how he would prepare the Vees for dinner.
"How dare you talk to our daughter that way, Alastor, deer?" Lillith teases, tugging at his ear and laughing as he snaps his teeth at her fingers. "Oh, don't fight in front of Charlotte, she'll end up with a complex or something..."
"On top of her glaring daddy issues you mean?"
Alastor doesn't like the way Lucifer's expression goes from furious to cold, cruel delight in a heartbeat. "Well, it's on you to fix now as well, bellhop... seeing as you claimed her too. So, how about some..." the world seemed o slow down like a horror movie, "Family... therapy...?"
"...If you'll excuse me, I'm going to beg Vox to kill me."
Charlie leaps for him, "No, he's kidding!"
"So am I, Charlotte... do take a breath. Your parents are apparently comedians this afternoon, and I think we'd all best steer clear of them until whatever madness has swept over them, passes. Now, would you like to come and watch me dismember an overlord? You and Vagathat could even tag-team Velvette if you wished..."
Vaggie looks like she might pass out.
His ears flatten. "Ah, I believe I hit another slang term and I'm not going to like what it really means... am I?"
Lucifer curls half his wings around the Overlord, as one might companionably sling an arm over their shoulder if they were at comparable heights. Clearly having decided that he can torment the other better if he REALLY leans into this madness between them all.
He steers the deer towards the corridor as Lillith follows behind, unwilling to miss the fuss.
"Well, you're gonna love this, Al... husbando nuero uno, honey, deerly beloved, blood moon of our life..." Laying it on thick, but Al looked ready to claw his own ears off with each passing endearment. "...but tag-teaming used to mean fighting in tandem, and now it means-..."
The door clicks shut, but seconds later every radio in the c=vinciity blasts an air raid siren and something that sounds mysteriously like a clown falling down the stairs.
Charlie counts to ten, breathing hard.
"What the fuck is my life...?" she whispers.
Vaggie consoles her as best she can, tossing up if Charlie outweighed the insanity of her family enough to propose. She blanches, momentarily, imagining having to ask Lucifer and Lillith and Alastor's permission, before catching herself.
Sure just the first two, right?
Right?
But then she recalled the look in the royal couple's eye, and their infamous penchant for committing to the bit... and resigned herself to like, dragging a sinner home and offering it to the deer for his blessing. Or something insane like that.
"No matter what, I love you, Charlie..." she murmurs externally. "Let's go take a walk in the garden to calm down, okay?"
"...yeah, I could use fresh air after all this."
There'd be so much to talk about later, so much to ask... but for now?
Charlie needed cuddles and connection.
And, based on the sounds downstairs, someone needed a first aid kit or a priest... so they'd be taken the back staircase to avoid all that. The smoke alarms began to blare.
Vaggie tugged Charlie away from the choas just a little faster.
----------
no idea where this was going, it spiralled on me
it could be funny tho
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medialog august-december 2k24
i was like, should i just abandon this and start fresh in 2025... but no. also i'm putting this behind a cut bc it is long but it's shorter than it sounds bc LOL working 7 days a week is not conducive towards having the brain space to interact with a bunch of new art!!
watched
ponyo - THIS IS THE CUTEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD!!! miyazaki/ghibli is a big blind spot for me bc as a kid i was like "but i want anime to be pretty, like sailor moon..." so i never got into kiki or totoro (very stupid but again i was: A Child) and then as an adult, this is embarrassing, i tried to watch spirited away and just literally didn't get it. i was like, i am so confused about what is happening and what emotions i am supposed to be feelings. and i know that spirited away is a movie for children and this makes me stupid. but i have never pretended not to be stupid. anyway i would die for just about every character in this movie and when i watched it a second time to make nick watch it i was so full of tenderness for how lovingly it captures what it's like to be a small child who has a small creature to take care of that i felt like i could explode!
deadpool & wolverine - i think if i had been in a better mood when i saw this movie i would have disliked it more but as it was i was in a HORRENDOUS mood and, basically, had a good time. funny to watch this, the Superhero Movies Isabel Has Never Watched Cameo Show (literally i had never watched an x-men other than first class, in which wolverine only appears to say fuck off, or either of the two deadpools), and still get to experience the same OMG IT'S HIM rush as everyone else did, but for matthew mcfadyen. the guy next to me was like "i love channing tatum" when channing tatum showed up and like, same.
trap - great movie to see with a group of like 10 people with whom to giggle the whole time. josh hartnett understood the assignment and his dad-vibe era is soooo much hotter to me than his twink years ever were (not always the case for me! but between this and how hot he was in oppenheimer i've really warmed to him...). i think it's nice that m. night shyamalan loves his daughter so much. ladyraven has a ballad with the line "faustian trade-offs" which caused me and no one else in the theater to laugh real loud. her music is pretty bad but tbh in an era when people want to put chappell roan on the A-list i'm not even mad. it was funny trying to figure out her niche though because like the vibes are obviously supposed to be taylorish (the cabin onstage... lmao) but the music was giving... idk, ariana? also it's just inherently funny to make a movie premised on the fact that it would be really easy to narrow down who the serial killer is by identifying the adult men at a pop girl concert + this movie REALLY captures the vibe during the opening act no one gaf about a pop event concert, like i saw 5SOS open for 1D and that's exactly what it felt like
popstar: never stop never stopping - rewatch, duh. is this the funniest movie of all time? it's gotta be up there, right?
josie and the pussycats - also a rewatch, duh. love everything about this but most of all the soundtrack, the songs are legit incredible, no fictional band has ever had better music (rip adam schlesinger who contributed some songwriting!!!). first time rewatching this movie since figuring out some Stuff and understand now that rachel leigh cook needs to be on the Oh Those Were Gay Feelings. That's What That Was list. (rosario dawson too, but i already got there with her.)
vice - really incredible to think it would be possible to fuck up a movie about how dick cheney is basically satan but somehow mckay managed. christian bale is a professional though, i feel like we don't appreciate enough that no matter how bad the movie or how stupid the writing he's out there giving an absolute top tier performance every single time.
aliens - sorta half-watched this one but idk i feel like me and james cameron just don't vibe. not as incredible-looking or cool as the first one.
godzilla minus one - really really cute!!!!!!
jurassic park - rewatch on the big screen, still slaps the hardest of almost any movie ever
twentieth century - this is i guess nominally a screwball comedy (howard hawks, 1934, for those of you for whom that means something) but it's about these two toxic theater people who are horrible for and obsessed with each other and it's... darker... than my experience of that genre has usually been. in a way that sort of works in its favor partly because it just gives it a certain interest and partly because the gender politics of screwballs can be so dark themselves so it's kind of a relief that this one lacks the cognitive dissonance of pretending this all isn't horrible? idk. it's a weird one. but i liked it, on balance. there's a (pretty funny tbh) running gag about suicide threats and a really bananas third act plot that comes out of nowhere... great performances across the board and some real bangers dropped into the screenplay!
the substance - i didn't, like, love this, and i think a lot of common criticisms of it are right, but some are also very silly (guys i think the director knows nothing about the morning exercise show makes sense... i don't think she was going for a realistic depiction of 21st century celebrity...), and i did have a good time for the most part (the last 30 minutes is gross in a way that doesn't do it for me... but i know it does it for some people and those people deserve movies too...) and respected its commitment to its own bit, as well as the fact that it's basically a fairy tale (a woman who lives in a tower makes a bargain with a force she doesn't really understand to regain her beauty...). oh also i liked that the thing that drives the back half of the plot is essentially the idea that you simply cannot have a 22 year old's body without also having to contend with a 22 year old's dumb dumb stupid ass piece of shit idiot brain. haven't seen a lot of people comment on that aspect of it but it was like my favorite part!
female trouble - people throw out the word iconic a lot but like what else is there to say? rude, disgusting, occasionally genuinely offensive, mostly (for me) delightfully so... really great to watch with a crowd that would whoop and cheer for I'M SO GLAD I HAD AN ABORTION and THE WORLD OF THE HETEROSEXUAL IS A SICK AND BORING LIFE... also like it's really key for the way this movie functions that divine is a fat drag queen that most people do not consider the pinnacle of beauty but it's incredibly clear that john waters and this movie does... like divine's constant proclamations of her own gorgeousness are in a kind of inherent tension with the average american's disagreement with that sentiment but in a way where it's like, if you disagree you are an idiot and this movie is not yours. she's so hot in this it's crazy!!
michael clayton - i wanted to watch a talky thriller-ish movie and the men of the ringer podcast network literally never shut up about this one so i gave it a shot and it delivered! clooney predictably great but i had no idea tilda swinton & tom wilkinson were in it and they are both also awesome, as is merrit weaver in a small but very well cast role
venom - you can sort of glimpse the movie this movie would be if it weren't shackled to What A Superhero Movie Is Now / loosely to the MCU even though it pretends it's not, and i bet that movie would be a lot of fun!
black christmas (1974) - perfectly done urban legend horror with an interesting little pro choice streak, great cast, camera work so perfectly spooky and tense even i noticed how well it was done, makes good use of the cinematic potential of christmas lights. i really liked that this movie is short and a slasher but all the characters in it feel very well drawn even though we don't spend much time with almost any of them... reminded me that this is actually possible to do and i should be harder on movies that don't do it!
black christmas (2006) - nowhere near as good as the first one, but it is, uh, absolutely bugfuck crazyass bananapants start to end. my favorite of many deranged writing choices in this movie is that the sorority mother makes them all open their secret santa every year with a gift for the murderer who killed his family years ago in this house and then when one of the girls' townie boyfriend is like "this is the house that used to freak us out when we were kids" the sorority mother is like, "why?" ?????????? ok!!!!!
heretic - hugh grant is a fucking movie star. i love sophie turner and the other girl was good too. sort of loses steam once the "actually" scary stuff happens because horror movie shenanigans are hard to make as scary as the situation of two young and not very experienced girls slowly realizing they are trapped in a house with a man who just keeps pushing the boundaries of the social contract a little further, but i had fun
the apprentice - not a good movie but a great viewing experience for those of us who have reblogged in our lifetimes approx. 1 million combined gifsets of sebstan and jerbear... like yeah those are my guys and my guys did great :) i think my favorite thing about it as a movie (other than the way the "look" of it updates with technology, which is a cooler idea i wish had been used for a... better movie?) is that it really beats home the aspect of trmp wherein he has no social skills at all and has never felt authentically comfortable in a group of people in his entire life, which is something i think we should culturally be meaner to him about
gladiator - dumb (affectionate) movie magic. russell crowe has so much movie star charisma while looking so much like Just Some Guy it's literally crazy. when he kisses the little dolly of his wife who's about to die ;_;
raising arizona - miracle movie, can't believe i'd never watched this before. the coens' control of their tone is so incredible to see so early in their work (still gotta watch barton fink one of these day). incredible cast, gorgeous colors, so funny, so weirdly sweet, when it finished i felt like i'd watched a magic trick
erin brokovich - watched this for the first time since high school and like what else is there to say but Queen Icon Legend Slay? i am speaking of course about steven soderbergh but julia is pretty fucking incredible too.
conclave - i'm gonna be real i feel like the hype got to me a lil with this one because it's not as bitchy and fun as i feel like i was led to believe... also requires more buy-in re: the moral direction of the catholic church than i anticipated. however it does have its moments and it's nice to see some of our best actors being good at their jobs and it looks great!
the philadelphia story - i found this movie so delightful to watch that for a moment i really thought she might run off with jimmy stewart at the end and not get back tamed with her abusive ex..... but such was the power of the hepburn/stewart chemistry in that one drunk garden scene that i found myself totally incapable of actually integrating the gender politics of this one into my feelings towards it... like i just couldn't be mad at a movie that gave me a scene that made me want to scream JUST KISS!!!! the most anything has since the first time i watched "cooler"... do you know what that is? for me to bust out "cooler" as a comp? my god... i understand why my friend has been like that about hepburn our whole lives and am also now fully baby jimmy stewart pilled
gladiator ii - the consensus is right on this one: not as good as the first, paul mescal is no russell crowe, but denzel really ate. my friends and i laughed out loud at almost every single denzel scene. we're so lucky to have him.
wicked - bad movie of a bad musical, fundamentally misunderstands the function of songs in a musical and thus shoots every single musical number abominably, as ugly as you've heard, we are not advanced enough technologically for me to emotionally invest in CGI Goat Voiced By Peter Dinklage, but ariana deserves an oscar. the prettyboy was pretty good too. orivo can really sing but her acting was kinda giving Distressed Pixar Mom for me although i'm happy to add this to john m chu's many crimes.
out of sight - the romantic premise of this movie is CRAZY but george clooney kinds of sells it actually because and not in spite of the fact that he's one of those curious Incredibly Handsome But Not Very Sexy actors... like you believe that she wouldn't really hold a grudge against him locking her in a trunk with him, because, what, clooney's gonna act untoward? no... not him... j. lo joins andie macdowell as an actress out of whom soderbergh somehow coaxes a much better performance than experience would lead you to believe she is capable of. shockingly stacked cast of pros doing great, INCREDIBLE production design - banner movie for characters costumed to match or complement their interiors!!!
burlesque - dr. sam from new girl fucks stanley tucci in this movie... i literally can't stop thinking about that. xtina maybe has the all time highest ratio of vocal chops to charisma, she has the screen presence of a recurring character on a cancelled WB drama and then she opens her mouth and you're like, damn. i would watch an 8 season HBO sitcom of cher and stanley tucci running a failing burlesque club. at one point i said out loud "chekhov's air rights." great time
logan lucky - "what if steven soderbergh made a heist movie but decided to put his coen brothers hat on and, also, cast channing tatum as a divorced dad who wants to support his daughter's dreams but is seriously wigged out by pageant culture?" yes please. absolutely. adam driver almost never acts in movies i actually want to see but he really is one of the real ones.
babygirl - one of those movies where i can understand lots of things that didn't work for people but i, personally, was completely rapturous the entire time because i wanted a movie where i could walk out saying "nicole kidman did that" and i got that AND ALSO (a) a story about a perfectionist who hates herself and (b) sex scenes that are funny and weird and awkward and warm and human. that's so many things i love happening at once, i will happily forgive and overlook any flaws. i really just loved how much the two of them are actively figuring this thing out as they go and how that's embarrassing and goofy and also sweet and fun. plus nicole kidman really did do that, i mean, like, my god... my god....
fantasmas - you have to watch fantasmas... why haven't you watched fantasmas yet... i really struggle to imagine the person who would follow My Dumb Blog but not be into fantasmas... "the gay ones don't draw dicks, they draw eyes"... julio torres is the voice of a generation
the franchise - not quite as much of a banger as i wanted to be but likable enough, & i'm a sucker for showbiz jokes (jokes about insecure actors, etc.), although i think chris ryan had a point on the watch pod when he was like, the thing about the satire elements of this show are that if you know anything about the actual production stuff on superhero/franchise movies it's hard to satirize because like, the real stuff is actually just that crazy... there's a running thread about the overworked VFX guy and it's kinda funny but also like, well this lines up more or less with what those teams have actually said... anyway. i want to say i'm a lil bummed it didn't get renewed nonetheless but also i forgot until i was typing up the list of things to document here that i had never gotten around to the season finale, so i guess i can't really honestly claim to be that bummed lol. (watched it while washing dishes - pretty good!) did love daniel bruhl as a sensitive artiste director being soul-crushed by the studio machine though! that guy's great.
read
r. o. kwon, exhibit - this one's tough. ultimately, there were actually a lot of things i liked about this book. it had some moments that felt really human and well observed (when the protagonist says something about how usually orgasms aren't worth the guilt and then says she knows she's letting us down and her paramour says who's us and the protagonist says all women... that's funny and real and not unrelateable to me for different reasons!). the bones of it were i think ultimately solid - like yeah she's terrible at communicating but ultimately the book is about her running away from the hard fact that her husband wants a baby and she doesn't and the psychology holds water throughout, i think. (also a funny paragraph about how she knows how to cook but mostly subsists on like handfuls of nuts and bread dipped into olive oil or whatever and then she's like "and you thought i could raise a child?"... also relateable...) i REALLY related to the idea of being a person who simultaneously has the memory of experiencing the loss of faith in god as genuinely, actually traumatic and also being like "btw my family might be cursed by vengeful spirit, it's a whole thing, but i gotta try to talk to her before i do this because she kind of gave me the idea," and i really liked that the book didn't spend any effort on reconciling these two things because... i mean iykyk, like i really can't explain beyond "sometimes that's what it's like" - AND i also liked the ultimate reveal of that storyline and how it tied into the core character work of the main plot. plus the whole thing is like the "trying stuff out sexually as a vehicle/metaphor for owning your whole self" thing that i (a) have enjoyed writing in fanfiction and (b) really loved watching in babygirl lmao. unfortunately the writing was the most annoying tryhard I Get It You Have An MFA ass prose i have ever encountered... i complained about this at the time but it's craaazyyyy to use the word "mirific" three times in a ~200 page novel lmao. deranged. calm yourself. i also felt like the dialogue was really bad although i guess i can't totally rule out that this is a book about artists and artists actually are that annoying? idk though... it didn't feel stylized it just felt weird... who says "tippled"... so, ultimately i couldn't say that i "liked" this even though it had elements i admired or enjoyed.
naomi klein, the shock doctrine: the rise of disaster capitalism - as i mentioned at the time, very enamored of its framing device in a very popular nonfiction/thomas friedman lite kinda way, but when it's not doing that (which luckily is most of the time), this is an informative and well explicated accounting of the horrors milton friedman has unleashed upon the world. i liked her fundamental argument that you can't politicize along economic grounds horrors committed under communism but not do that for capitalism, which has sort of seeped into general internet leftist thought (a testament to the success of this book) but which i appreciate more having seen how she builds her case.
the red nation, the red deal: indigenous action to save our earth - read this for a mutual aid book club that never happened lol. at the end of this book they're like "well probably none of this is new in the climate justice conversation but we don't think things have to be new to be valuable" and like... on the one hand true... on the other hand if you're even vaguely aware of climate justice discourse... not a lot here is new. i also, perhaps unpopularly, have become kind of a... idk... i mean when people are like "we can't solve climate collapse without dismantling capitalism" these days my reaction is basically "well one of those things might happen in the next two hundred years and it's not dismantling capitalism." i'm not like a tech-zealot but a... tech-realist? idk. this is not what i want to be true but it is my honest accounting of the situation. so, any argument that's like "step one: dismantle capitalism" is... it's just not where i'm at these days.
patrick radden keefe, say nothing: a true story of murder and memory in northern ireland - there are no doubt quibbles or political issues to be had with this book, a story of the troubles focused largely on a particular group of IRA members operating in west belfast in the early 70s - as an idiot coming into this subject basically cold, i would have appreciated slightly more grounding in the political situation leading up to the swelling of violence in this period - but, damn, this book is fucking mesmerizing. keefe really brings the people involved to life, particularly the young IRA members at the heart of his chronicle, and while it's clear he doesn't condone all their actions, my own sense was that he was more interested in truly understanding and making clear their own understandings of their motivations & understanding of themselves & ethical framework than he was in passing judgment (and i also definitely felt like he had a certain admiration for the integrity of someone like brandon hughes or dolours price, who were always willing to own what they did and why they did it, and a genuine disdain for how fucking crazy it is for gerry adams to rebrand as a peacenik when literally everybody knows he spent the early 70s telling people to plant bombs lmao). (also having read empire of pain... he definitely holds the sacklers in lower esteem than the IRA, lol.) the final chapters of the book also touch on the really fascinating difficult question of how you morally reckon with the revolutionary violence you did if the revolution you did it for never came to pass - this is the heart of why his fellow ex-IRA comrades feel so betrayed by adams, who has left them to shoulder the burden of that guilt alone while pivoting to the compromise they once agreed would not suffice which was part of the reason for all the violence, and it is something i think about a lot as someone who would not self identify as a pacifist and thinks the historical record leaves no doubt that sometimes violence is necessary for change but nonetheless feels very reluctant to endorse specific acts of revolutionary violence in theory. thrilling and thorny, ultimately i would say deserving of all the accolades i learned after reading it has apparently received lol.
patrick radden keefe, the snakehead: an epic tale of the chinatown underworld and the american dream - not quite as tremendous-feeling as say nothing, but that's mostly because that's a crazy high bar; this is a really fascinating look at the human smuggling trade (& other organized-ish crime) in NYC's chinatown in the 80s/90s, including the middle aged woman who was at the heart of much of it. contains: some totally deranged gang warfare stories; a really fascinating look at the weirdness of chinese immigration policy in the 90s, when china's one-child policy pushed normally anti-immigration republicans to switch on this issue for pro-life reasons (the one child policy... maybe the one thing every american politician shares the same view on, for different reasons?); interesting background on fujian, the high-outmigration region of china from whence many of the principles in this story came; an accounting of an insane boat journey gone so wrong that at one point after the would-be migrants have been trapped in a harbor off the coast of africa (i forget which country), when they finally leave, two of them decide to stay because the chinese restaurant they've opened is doing so well. i keep thinking about the fact keefe highlights that of the hundreds of doomed migrants on this hugely traumatic journey who wound up deported after crash-landing, nearly all of them eventually made their way back to the US.
kazuo ishiguro, nocturnes - my first ishiguro since my teen ishiguro phase (a concept that should really be regarded the way that teens getting into heavy metal and grunge is in pop culture e.g. a sign to check in on their mental health lmao). didn't love these but i can't tell if that's because i prefer ishiguro as a novelist or because i'm just bad at reading short stories... also to be fair there were at least 2 ishiguro novels i read back then and was like "the fuck was that" lol. some very funny moments and a lot of like, amusing portraits of unlikable people, and i do love his style, which is like, a pathologically conversational first person that years of reading since has taught me is much more technically difficult than it looks, but ultimately it felt pretty slight.
naomi klein, doppleganger: a trip into the mirror world - klein takes on, like, "the wellness to alt right pipeline" is an oversimplification but topics in that neck of the woods, inspired by the wack ass shit constantly being tweeted by Other Naomi (wolf), with whom klein is frequently confused on twitter. this is an inherently very funny premise for a book and a lot of what klein says is in my view pretty accurate, and some of her literary/theoretical musings on dopplegangers as a Thing are interesting to read, plus the whole thing is on topics of interest to me, aka Alt Right Derangement And Weird Shit People Are Up To Online. however..... so klein says that she herself was very offline until covid happened, basically, and so if you have been online longer, and especially if you have been actively reading stuff about Weird Shit People Are Up To Online, then this book is basically a smart person catching up with topics you yourself already know a lot about. so in a funny way i found this a more enjoyable read than the shock doctrine, because it's less of an unrelenting fucking bummer about human evil and suffering, but it was also less enriching, because she didn't really bring any new insight to topics that, again, are probably in the top 5 of Post Headlines I'm Most Likely To Click On. like yeah, deranged alt right types are using the language of social justice and inequality and bodily autonomy to further their various causes... tru... i mean it is tru... i also think the fact that her default is a Not Online person who only changed her vibe after covid makes her a bit more of an internet doomer bc she doesn't viscerally get the nontoxic value possible to find in Online through diligent curation lol. but i do think it was a solid accounting of the subcultures and and ideologies she explores so like i said i basically liked it and if you're less tuned into weird internet radicalization currents than i am you will probably find it informative!
suzanna clarke, piranesi - i don't even know what to say about this one, probably tied with tender as my favorite book i read last year (strong fantasy year for me i guess). it's so crazy that suzanna clarke wrote jonathan strange & mr. norrell, the most perfect book of all time, and then did this, which is also the most perfect book of all time, in a completely different way. her gift for atmosphere and voice is second to none and in this one she uses it to draw us into caring so deeply for a narrator who can't even remember his own past - the book in some ways is a mystery and the doling out of information is perfectly paced but the reason it works is because we just love this guy because of how much he loves the universe. the final chapter expresses something about survival & upheaval & change (&, sure, trauma, if you want) that, as i said before & will come as no surprise, is so so so precisely keyed into an idea so deeply important to me... ahh! just sublime!
v. c. andrews, flowers in the attic - book club!! this book is CRAZY but there's only two real things i want to say about it: (1) a lot of what's totally deranged about it is that on the one hand, it has the most gothic novel ass set-up ever - horrible incest house of dark secrets and shame, children literally living in an attic, physical decay, etc. etc. - and on the other hand in all other respects its sensibilities are the most american 70s suburban ass thing, so that it's like, a gothic novel where the evil mother goes to secretary school and the kids watch sitcoms and cut construction paper in the secret attic... like, the tonal clash is soooo crazy, it's incredible; and (2) ok so like by the time it happens you 100% want those siblings to fuck. like. you just do.
suzanna clarke, jonathan strange and mr. norrell - counting this as last year even though i read the second half in january lol. ummm best book in the world. third time through and i genuinely think it gets better every time. most purely pleasurable reading experience of all time.
stephanie mccurry, confederate reckoning: power and politics in the civil war south - ditto re timing (technically i have like a couple pages of this one left and a few more quotes to post lol). i picked this back up as a comfort reread after the election and it slaps so hard it's crazy. love to read about how a bunch of war-losing loser traitors lost in no small part because it's hard to wage war as a modern state committed to resisting the tides of modernity!!!! sucks 2 suck!!!!!
listened
maude latour, sugar water - i'm kind of obsessed with maude latour not in terms of being obsessively in love with her music, although i think she's very good, but because she's my go-to example of someone out here doing girlpop toiling away in the spotify minds unremuneratively who i would easily and even gladly swap fame-wise with basically any of the pop girls in our current rising class (thinking of olivia/chappell/sabrina... none of whom are like terrible - well ok i have yet to hear a chappell roan song i think is actually good lol but i guess she can sing and it's nice that she's gay - but also alleged newcomers like tate mcrae? addison whoever? madison beer? these are not real people stop trying to act like they're real people! ladyraven ass pop girls...). she just makes really solid, well written, inventive but still catchy pop. i returned to this short album a lot more than i expected to, often thinking i wanted to hear just the first song (a standout) and then realizing i was happy to let the rest play through. also gay stuff, if you care about that.
sabrina carpenter, short n sweet - like it's all very competent and espresso deserves its flowers but who cares? who could possibly ever care? i've been SUCH an antonoff apologist and please please please is the first song where i felt like i was hearing him as his haters hear him, it sounds like shit. there are better moments and worse moments, some ok lines, she can sing, etc., but where's the vision? where's the personality? nothing to grab on to.
beabadoobee, this is how tomorrow moves - beabadoobee is obviously talented and intelligent and her music sounds enough like a kind of music i like that i always feel like i should like her more... but i think she's a little too stripped down and sophisticated for me. that said "ever seen" was one of my top songs of 2024, total absolute BANGER
charly bliss, forever - doesn't quite live up to the heights of young enough, but given that young enough is a strong contender for my favorite album of the past decade, i'm not really sure it could. this one is pop-punkier and very hooky lots of fun, and i just love eva's taffy-pull voice and wanna listen to her sing anything. also it has a song that sounds so much like a pop punk version of a kesha song it's legit uncanny to me.
pom pom squad, mirror starts moving without me - big step up from their last album, IMO, and i liked that a lot too! ambitious in an interesting way but also lots of fun. this one also has a song that at points sounds so much like a kesha song it's crazy, as does a 2023 album i was recently listening to by underscores... i feel like we're living in a big post-kesha moment and i don't know if anyone is appreciating it enough...
pale waves, smitten - i agree with pale waves that "what if avril lavigne got really into shoegaze and was also gay" is a great idea for an album. really pretty production on this one!
070 shake, petrichor - my friend dave was like "this album might be bad but i'm obsessed with it" and i listened out of solidarity and was like, i don't like this but i can understand why you specifically would. friendship!
charli xcx, brat and it's completely different but it's still brat - i never really listen to enough albums to justify having an album of the year but something about the release of the remix album really opened up the whole project to me and i was completely obsessed with it for a while and still love it. track by track most of the remixes are not quite as good as the original track (although some, like caroline polacheck's gorgeous turn on everything is romantic, are definite upgrades), but something about the spirit of generosity that infuses the project, the way it makes it all feel like a project more than an album, the sense that charli has thrown this party and she's invited up and coming spanish rapper bbtrix alongside ariana grande, the way it's less disciplined than the album proper but more expansive, at some points grimier and clubbier and at other points more emotive and romantic... idk. feels like a whole world. the so i remix alone, like - releasing a sad song about your friend who died, and then releasing a faster song about all the fun shit you used to do, that sounds more like a song your dead friend would have produced, is one of the most loving acts i have ever seen committed through art and it made me cry even though i never connected with SOPHIE's music bc i'm not really cool enough to be into hyperpop. rooting for charli at the grammies even though i know it's not gonna happen lmao.
other
jenny holzer at the guggenheim - there was a jenny holzer installation at the guggenheim!! it was really cool!! i finally understood something @rgr-pop said years ago about how it matters that she is a visual artist and her words (incredible as they often are as words) appear physically in a space. it is in fact Different, to see them in a space. in addition to The Classics (i got so fannishly excited spotting IT IS IN YOUR SELF INTEREST TO FIND A WAY TO BE VERY TENDER lmao), the installation also included a lot of her more recent and more overtly political stuff, some of which engaged specifically with the bush ii administration & iraq/afghanistan, which made for intense viewing given that i happened to go right around the time i read the shock doctrine (as did spotting the one about how mothers who have a reason to cry should do so in public....). jenny holzer is great! so glad i could experience that!
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gayerthebetter · 5 hours ago
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Let's talk about we can't be friends (wait for your love) being ln the preshow playlist and the meaning for it being there. (Aka I'm putting off work so let me just do this instead)
If you never heard the song or pay any attention to the lyrics this is the time to put it on!!
If you didn't know alot of people believe that this song is about ariana's fans not a ex what is the way we will be taking this song and taking the way that dan meant it (aka his relationship with the fandom), so let's start.
Dan's relationship with the phandom had always been a bit rocky, we can see this with people's reaction to something like his video "louise teaches dan to be a daddy" louise herself said everything was fine but sadly some of the fandom did hate on dan for it anyway. Add in the fact that the series this video was from wasn't received well and was not understood and hated (something even dan had talked about in videos since)
Or the way his words are taken the wrong way (when he guessed taylor swift in a game and called out that it was way 2 easy to guess but some people took it as him hating taylor or even in some posts i saw hating all women. Something that is clearly not true as he not only met taylor but he put one of her songs on the preshow playlist, nevermind the fact that not liking one person doesn't mean you hate all women)
There was even the way that when dan made a joke about how he was going to change himself into a new happy person that was just wholesome some fans said how happy they were about the change as they didn't like the way dan already was.
All of this goes well with the lyrics,
"We can't be friends
But I'd like to just pretend
You cling to your papers and pens
Wait until you like me again
Wait for your love
Love, I'll wait for your love"
In the song the lyrics "I'll wait for your love" and "wait until you like me again" are talking about the way people can hate on someone they are a fan of but how in time that will go away and they (as if the hate was never there) will love the person again. This is something both dan and ariana had seen happen again and again in their fandoms.
And
"Know that you made me
I don't like how you paint me
Yet, I'm still here hanging"
I feel that this part really talks about how people can take what you say or do and make you out to be something you're not.
Dan left youtube for alot of reasons, but one of them was the fact that he felt he couldn't be free to be himself, another was the fact that he didn't want to be dan from dan and phil anymore but instead wanted to find himself all of which i think goes with this,
"I didn't think you'd understand me
How could you ever even try?
I don't wanna tiptoe, but I don't wanna hide
But I don't wanna feed this monstrous fire
Just wanna let this story die
And I'll be alright"
In the end this song just like for ariana is talking about the ups and downs of a parasocial relationship.
Anyway that's all i got to say but tell me if this post was the worst idea ever so i can get rid of it and hide ✌️
Btw dan does love us all I'm not trying to say he doesn't lol
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whocaresstillthelouvre · 10 hours ago
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Golden Girl Texts
Written for @jolapeno's Dear-uary challenge. I chose to do texts between Dieter and Golden Girl throughout their friendship. General warning for drug and drink mentions... it is Dieter.
Thank you to @devineconjuring for her help and accepting my rambles. She also made the Sweets bride pic much more ~Golden~
The texts start from when Warren & GG get engaged and end at Dieter leaving for London at the end of So It Goes.
FYI, the texts receivers switch. Check the top first for whose phone it is. 🫡
Blue is Dieter. Pink is Golden Girl.
✨July, 2016✨ Dieter’s Phone
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There’s that familiar hot pit in his stomach, it burns brighter as he zooms in on the ring. Fuck. He should have done something… or at least told you how he felt about you, but instead he stayed quiet, finding solace in illicit substances and people. He’ll respond tomorrow. Right now, he’s going to pop some pills, fuck someone, and try to forget the text. 
✨September, 2016✨ GG’s Phone
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Oh Sweets, you're too good to everybody around you. Too good at finding the best in anyone. A broken man like him doesn't deserve your concern. He hits repeat on "Self Control" waiting for the lines that always makes him think of you:
Wish I was there, wish we'd grown up on the same advice And our time was right Keep a place for me, for me I'll sleep between y'all, it's nothing
✨April, 2017✨ GG’s Phone
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Why are you zooming in on the picture of your husband's best man? Why do you wish he was sitting on the lounger next to you at this luxury five star resort? Why does Warren have to insist on working during your fucking honeymoon? Why is it only 1 PM and you've already had three piña coladas?
✨September, 2018✨ Dieter’s Phone
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You got it. Your dream house with the picket fence and the pretty lawn. You got the large backyard with the picturesque view. You're going to fill that home with cool art, unique finds, and beautiful memories... and he'll just be a visitor.
✨January, 2020✨ GG’s Phone
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New Years is bullshit. It's something he's always believed, but it's made worse when he has to watch the woman he's in love with inside her beautiful home kissing her husband at midnight. Bullshit.
✨August, 2020✨ Dieter’s Phone
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You call Dieter, he answers all bleary eyed with a huge smile lighting his face at the first sight of you. You talk to him for three hours, comforting him, telling him all of this will be worth it. You put a package of cookies in the mail for him the next day.
✨September, 2020✨ Dieter’s Phone
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Of course you're happy for him. Of course you don't know that when he stood at the altar in that dingy Las Vegas chapel and Anika walked out, his heart sank when he realized she wasn't you. Of course you don't know he's already miserable.
✨April, 2021✨ GG’s Phone
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You knew it wasn't going to last, but you still wanted to believe that maybe one day Dieter would find his soulmate.
✨June, 2023✨ Dieter’s Phone
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Damn, he's getting brave with these mixes.
A selection of songs from Dieter's playlist For Sweets #16
"Sun In The Morning" - Future Islands
"Pretty Please" by Dua Lipa
"Red Eyes" by The War On Drugs
"Amoeba" by Clairo
"The Color In Anything" by James Blake
"Bodys" by Car Seat Headrest
"Foreign Kicks" by We Are Scientists
✨June, 2023✨ Dieter’s Phone
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Dieter doesn't answer, as amazing as Vegas sounds. Frankly, he's sick of Warren and his bullshit. He barely even recognizes him these days... he wonders what you think.
✨September, 2024✨ GG’s Phone
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mandalhoerian · 18 hours ago
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poison you literally said everything AHHHH !! it made me want to yap a little about this fish 😭
1- i want to say that with rafayel you get the ideal version of a man you can play with together with none of the real life downsides, which is immaturity & weaponized incompetence & irritating childishness! it's a healing factor honestly to be able to have fun & be silly together without having to hold back, he eggs you on and encourages you to come be silly with him and that it's okay to be like that. it's "let's unlearn shame together" meme LMFAO and there's a sense of safety bc it doesn't go too far since rafayel knows boundaries.
2- gap moe. he's only like this (whiny, bratty, entitled, flirty) with you, by the way. rafayel unexpectedly is the "i hate everyone but you" guy. he's literally colder than sylus to others, even with fellow lemurians he's distant (not unkind). like, outside of you, that's a completely different man. he's SCARY. i can't emphasize how his "waiter" at the nest made my stomach DROP. you have privileges with him. it's not that he's pretending to be a certain way with you, it's that only you get this loverboy side of him. one could say he's "tailored" this personality for you so you wouldn't be threatened by him or get scared/won't see the "real" him, but in my opinion it's become real the more he spent time with you/felt safe around you. much to be said on this topic but i digress. i am in love with shady man who becomes a clown with you trope (see: 707 from mysme being my obsession back then)
2.5- like, he's on a killing spree of ever researchers who were involved with experimentation and killings of lemurians over the years. he also may or may not have been held captive in the past like that. WE TEND TO FORGET THAT PART OF HIM..... dude infested his painting with metaflux so it would 1) make raymond hallucinate and deteriorate 2) attract wanderers that would kill him. he then went to his funeral and left flowers for the poor lemurian whose skeleton was being displayed as an art piece in his house. and also killed someone with his song. god knows what else he did. sylus does it outright but this man is an assassin. he's SCA-RY. it's such a whiplash to see him go "glub glub" to my face knowing all this 😭
3- the part about him being perfect for bi girls is SO REAL AGH not only is his design very unabashedly delicate (like, the tattoos, accessories and clothes of god of the tides as well) and he falls under the "pretty/beautiful man" umbrella, but the lemurian merfolk concept in itself is so romantic. he's the farthest thing from traditional masculinity. you could go shopping with this man, he would personally dress you up (fashion!) & help you be your best self, hell he'd do color analysis of you, he could do your makeup. he'd be into gossip and drama. and there'd be no insecurity involved. he's very safe for people like me who are in the skittles squad, into androgyny & are afraid of men in general.
4- lemurian bond. you can order him around. he won't ever do anything you don't want, and there's something very reassuring about that LMFAO. also, he can lowkey sense what you want and think through this bond. ever wanted a man to telepathically just know without saying anything? this is him. lemurians are partner-oriented. it's unbelievable when you think about it, but yeah. mating for life. live for love, die for love. he's a literal fairytale lover. insane concept, to be honest. back when he was a god mc wanted something in return for her worship and he literally went "TAKE MY HEART" and doomed his people -- insane.
5- in terms of "versions" of a character, he really takes the cake. imo, other love interests show the same character traits they have in their myths and they don't go through a lot of *core* changes like rafayel does. sea god rafayel, abysswalker rafayel and current rafayel are three different people. sea god is at times cruel, intimidating, awkward, and serious with potential to be sensitive. abysswalker is mysterious, a yearner and alluring. both outright show competence and power current rafayel is hiding away from sight. rafayel as a character is very versatile, and has gone through a lot of development and change. he has so much range.
6- softcore stalker... we tend to forget he i kinda love a man who's a little crooked in the head and is obsessed with me.
ANYWAY IM STOPPING. ENOUGH I KNOW. SORRY
genuine question because youre one of my favorite writers, you seem to really have a thorough grasp of the characters: what do you see in rafayel that makes him appealing? i try to get past his entitled brattiness because i really want to enjoy all of the guys, but i cant see anything else. please help me understand 🥲
Oh boy, baby, darling, sweetheart, you opened a can of worms. Come do a little bit of character analysis with me~
About Rafayel:
Rafayel is a brat, yes. But that means he wears his heart on his sleeve, outright when he needs your attention or sulking when something is bothering him or faking a dramatic accident to get your attention. There's no silent guessing or fake "I'm fine's," just his overdramatic, raw emotion that's easy to read. He's has anxious attachment stemming from hundreds of years of betrayal and loss.
Rafayel is a romantic, a yearner. And yes, while I also agree his attitude was annoying at first I am very unfortunately into people who get on my nerves, especially when they are flirty and funny as well. I folded during his hospital scene.
Entitled? He is a god. He has been trying and failing to save his entire civilization for over 800 years and still simply can't because he refuses to hurt the one he loves. While all the boys have been through pain there's something about Rafayel's story that really gets me. I think it’s because if I— as mc— knew the sacrifice he was making, I would give myself up. So to have someone selfish enough to place me first is heartbreaking, devoted, and cruel. 
Also there are plenty of scenes where Rafayel is serious, especially if you read between the lines. The brattiness and sass is a playful cover to someone who's been through pain and understands it. Someone who chooses to still see joy and happiness in his life while fully understanding how cruel the world is.
Simply, I'm a sucker for doomed character archetypes. There is no version of Rafayel's and mc's story where they both end happy. Millions of people will die or if mc kills herself Rafayel will live forever as a husk of his former self. Using a sassy, filirty, bratty attitude to cover up such a genuinely depressing story is so juicy to me.
About Me:
I'm a Zayne irl. Work is honestly the most important thing to me outside my family, I'm devoted to my hobbies and leadership positions, and I have a close circle of friends I would do anything for.
I'm the eldest sibling, the guard dog, the de-facto leader for almost everything. I'm the person who had to grow up fast, to parent my immigrant parents at times, who never made space for love, and who is by default independant and comfortable with it.
I prefer to listen-- I love my yapper friends. Don't get me wrong I can talk for hours about anything, but day to day I tend to get exhausted talking after a while so I surround myself with people who can do the easy talking for me.
My irl partner is a mix between Rafayel and Sylus I'd say. He's the one who pulls me out of my work spirals by nagging me until I give in, someone I'm comfortable yapping about my current hyperfixations too, someone who my inner child can come out to. But I also enjoy being a caregiver, that's always been my role and I relish in it, I like being relied upon as much as I appreciate having someone in my life that lets me take a step back. The only part that's Sylus is how his love language is bullying me and his vibe/looks lmao, but usually I am more into raf-stereotypical pretty boys.
So, overall, the appeal of Rafayel to those that choose him:
Rafayel is for the eldest daughters who needs their inner child to be free, who needs a little bit of ridiculousness and impulsiveness in their lives.
Rafayel is for those who never got praised for their effort or strength, for those who success was the only option, who had to be perfect, reliable and serious all the time. He makes it so clear how much simply being with you means to him, constantly complimenting, flirting, and reassuring you just how much he needs you. Showing you how obsessed with you he is.
Rafayel is for those who didn't think love had a place in their lives due to shit family or life circumstances. He proves time and time again that you're the only one he loves. Even though he's lived forever, you were worth the wait and that he would wait again for you, no matter how long it takes. He proves you can be loved, and that it comes easy.
Rafayel is for those who always placed others first. He's more than willing to show you again and again you will always be first in his mind. He needs you more than he does water. Sure, you can take care of him, but he wants to be with you and take care of you, too.
Rafayel is for those who need someone else to drag them out of work/school/spiralling even when they don't want to admit it, bringing in laughter, color, and a little bit of dramatics.
Rafayel is for creators who dedicate themselves to their craft, who are scared of losing this "spark," who want to get better but constantly feel that what they create isn't enough or must be more. 
Rafayel is for hopeless romantics, those that go out of their way to surprise their friends during their birthdays, those who plan platonic dates for those they care about, those who put out so much love into the world and suddenly break when they get that love back.
Rafayel is for those used to having little siblings or those to take care of in our lives. Only while Rafayel relishes in the attention, he's also ready to give it back five-fold.
Rafayel is a switch for switch (brat for brat) lmao. He's for those who like to start on top, teasing and pushing his buttons to get all those cute reactions out of him, just until he breaks. Then he can take control and finish us up. We love vocal men.
Maybe projecting, but Rafayel is the perfect bi-girl's boyfriend. He's a classic pretty boy, unafraid to be in touch with his feminine side, a little dramatic, a little artsy. But he's also super romantic, sensitive, loving, and intense. And gosh, who could say no to those big puppy eyes?
I could probably continue to talk about Rafayel for hours, but ya, hopefully this helps answer why I and others love this man. Just continue on with the main story and read between the lines with his dialogue and I'm sure you'll pick up on it too~
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