#I don't know what coheres here.
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Uncomfortable infection.
#I feel disgusting...#I really hate this.#I don't know how to describe how I feel but that I run out of the ''it is what it is'' mentality.#I am bothered that COVID has crippled my immune system.#I get opportunistic infections from my own body.#I just want it to stop. I don't like this.#Mentally I feel very 'reduced'.#Very mired in sadness that I can't even properly identify as sadness.#Slumping over and not moving is helping. I'm just staying still and experiencing it like a bystander.#I feel like I am just waiting something out. What else to do.#If it gets worse I will ask after antibiotics.#The muscles in my face hurt and I keep closing my eyes without meaning to.#Slept in a terrible amount today.#I don't know what coheres here.#Simply put... Wolfgang tired and hurting and insecure or shy.#Get the sense to apologise for complaining speech.#I am caught by the fear of being irritating.
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i know we all laugh (mostly fondly) about the paper-thin plots in porn that only exist to make the sex happen, but i was reading some old stargate fic over the weekend, and i really think we're sleeping on the paper-thin hurt/comfort plot that only exists to force the characters to FEEL THINGS.
like, is this scenario realistic? no. does it make any rational sense? no. does it provide a built-in excuse for a character to collapse, bloody and disoriented, into the arms of his beloved/friend/partner? obviously, that's the whole point of this exercise.
i love it. it's my favorite thing in the world.
#writing#hurt/comfort#much like smut it operates on the assumption that we all know what we're here for#obviously you CAN write a fully coherent plot with hurt/comfort elements just like you can write one with smutty elements#and those are lovely too#but there's something so charming about fics that are like#'look we all know what you came here for. i don't have to explain myself.'
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*sigh* thoughts on Nintendo's botw/totk timeline shenanigans and tomfoolery?
tbh. my maybe-unpopular opinion is that the timeline is only important when a game's place on the timeline seriously informs the way their narrative progresses. the problem is that before botw we almost NEVER got games where it didn't matter. it matters for skyward sword because it's the beginning, and it matters for tp/ww/alttp (and their respective sequels) because the choices the hero of time makes explicitly inform the narrative of those games in one way or another. it matters which timeline we're in for those games because these cycles we're seeing are close enough to oot's cycle that they're still feeling the effects of his choices. botw, however, takes place at minimum 10 thousand years after oot, so its place on the timeline actually functionally means nothing. botw is completely divorced from the hero of time & his story, so what he does is a nonissue in the context of botw link and zelda's story. thus, which timeline botw happens in is a nonissue. honestly I kind of liked the idea that it happened in all of them. i think there's a cool idea of inevitability that can be played with there. but the point is that the timeline exists to enhance and fill in the lore of games that need it, and botw/totk don't really need it because the devs finally realized they could make a game without the hero of time in it.
#i really do have a love-hate relationship with this timeline#because it's FASCINATING lore. genuinely. and i think it carries over the themes of certain games REALLY well#but i also think it's indicative of a trend in loz's writing that has REALLY annoyed me for a long time#which is this intense need to cling to oot#and on a certain level i get it. that was your most successful game probably ever. and it was an AMAZING game.#and i think there's definitely some corporate profit maximization tied up in this too--oot was an insane commercial success therefore you'r#not allowed to make new games we need you to just remake oot forever and ever#and that really annoys me because it makes certain games feel disjointed at best and barely-coherent at worst.#i think the best zelda games on the market are the ones where the devs were allowed to really push what they were working with#oot. majora. botw. hell i'd even put minish cap in there#these are games that don't quite follow what was the standard zelda gameplay at their time of release. they were experimental in some way#whether that be with graphics or puzzle mechanics or open-world or the gameplay premise in its entirety. there's something NEW there#and because the devs of those games were given that level of freedom the gameplay really enforces the narrative. everything feels complete#and designed to work together. as opposed to gameplay that feels disjointed or fights against story beats. you know??#so I think that the willingness to allow botw and totk to exist independently from the timeline is good at the very least from a developmen#standpoint because it implies a willingness to. stop making shitty oot remakes and let developers do something interesting.#and yes i do very much fear that the next 20 years of zelda will be shitty BOTW remakes now#in which botw link appears and undergoes the most insane character assassination youve ever seen in your life#but im trying to be optimistic here. if botw/totk can exist outside the timeline then we may no longer be stuck in the remake death loop#and i'm taking eow as a good sign (so far) that we're out of the death loop!! because that game looks NOTHING like botw or oot.#fingers crossed!!#anyway sorry for the game dev rant but tldr timeline good except when it's bad#asks#zelda analysis
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so we know you love diasomnia endlessly, but who is your favorite character from each of the other dorms
this is SO hard to answer, because so many of the characters are, like, those pet adoption ads that say "MUST STAY TOGETHER, CANNOT BE SEPARATED". it's all about the relationship dynamics! and I think everybody in the main cast is pretty neat, honestly; there isn't anyone who doesn't have something I really like about them. but if I haaaaad to choose...
Hearts - Trey, partly because I do like me a good Mom Friend™ character, and partly because he pretends like he's all sane and normal, right up until he does something to prove he's just as much of a dipshit as everyone else. you're not immune, sir.
Savana - BUFF 👏 TSUNDERE 👏 WEREWOLF 👏
Octa - this one took a lot of soul-searching, because I do feel like the Octatrio is at their very best when it's all three of them, especially when they're in full Ed Edd n Eddy mode. but in the end, Jade ekes out a win, because sometimes you get this Jade:
and then when he gets back from his nice mushroom-foraging hike, you get this Jade:
Scara - Kalim, my sweet little moron. such a good heart, so few braincells.
Pome - 90% of the time when Rook shows up, you know it's going to a be fun time watching a silly little man dance around and break into song for no reason and wax poetic about the beauty of, like, a chair. always a delight!
except every once in a while, he'll bust out something that is absolutely insane even by Twst standards:
this isn't a complaint, it's just. why is he like this. I want to study him under a microscope, except I'm afraid of what I might find.
Igni - MUST STAY TOGETHER! CANNOT BE SEPARATED! ...but I would probably go with Ortho, just because right now I'm pretty invested in his Learning Emotions story arc and looking forward to seeing it progress. he's a good boy who will post your cringe fanfic publicly if you annoy him
...and at this point I'm calling technicality because the ask says "other dorms", and I genuinely do not think I could choose between the Dia boys at this point. let's see how episode 7 goes first!
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 6 spoilers#long post#obligatory disclaimer that this is my own personal opinion et cetera#what it comes down to is that i'm going to love EVERYBODY and you can't stop me!#it REALLY is all about the dynamics though#i don't talk about them as much but i really do love the riddle-trey-cater and riddle-trey-che'nya friendships especially#and i KNOW i've talked about idia and lilia being unintentional bffs before#and i'm going to stop here before i just start listing off every possible character interaction and why i like it#what up it's a day ending in y which means i got feelings about anime characters again#sorry this is somehow even less coherent than usual#i was like 'i'll do a couple of drawings for this' and then looked up and it was 4 am somehow#this keeps happening dagnabbit
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i'm very 👀 about what bucky's family situation looks like, actually. historically, his dad died in nov '42, so he's only six months out from it at the start of the show, but it never really comes up—he doesn't flinch or offer anything back when gale talks about his dad, which... maybe he had a good relationship with his dad, so he doesn't have anything to offer. but he doesn't look at gale like he's surprised at cleven sr being a bad dad the way i'd expect a character with a fairly happy, uneventful home life to react to "my dad left me sleeping on benches"-level bad parenting. and if he DID have a shitty relationship with his dad, that's the perfect moment to empathize and bond over it. but he doesn't take it.
and then we get the revelation that he doesn't get any letters in the stalag. obviously he's not getting romantic letters, but one of the other guys mentions a letter he got is from his mom, with equivalent relief and comfort to gale's reaction to marge's letters. in so doing the show establishes that letters from family presumably count for the conversation the bucks have wrt having someone to get letters from. bucky's mom is still around. why doesn't he at least get letters from her? he's got two sisters, historically—one's three years older and the other's six years younger. both ages that wouldn't exactly hinder sending letters to your POW brother. but nothing.
initially i was gonna say i have trouble believing that bucky—who wears every emotion he has plain on his face, who's so stupidly easy to read that everyone thinks they know exactly what's going on with him in every scene, and who has a hugely visible downward spiral when his preferred options for coping with STUPENDOUS AND COMPOUNDING traumas are taken away from him—either:
has so solidly processed his dad's recent death inside six months that he doesn't need to externalize any reaction to it, or
is somehow better at keeping the details of how he feels about his family close to his chest than he is about basically every other feeling he's ever had
and it's still possible that his relationship with his family is simply unremarkable and there's nothing deeper to it. or that he had a bad relationship with his dad, but not any worse than your average "my dad and i didn't get along great" kind of deal, not cleven-level bad. but... i dunno, man, i have trouble buying THAT, more than i have trouble buying that the situation is deeper than bucky lets show.
his MOTHER doesn't even write to him. and we don't find this out until he's been stalag'd for over a year. so he... does actually keep it pretty close to his chest. more importantly, he keeps it close to his chest when it's something he could use to strengthen his relationship with gale. that doesn't really fit with the read of bucky as an open book looking for anything he can get from gale. like... it doesn't fit with that read of him at all.
it feels way more likely to me that there's Bad Shit there, and that that Bad Shit extends beyond bucky's relationship with his dad, into his relationship with his mom and even into coloring his relationship with his now-adult sisters. something like being kicked out, or disowned, or bucky deliberately going no-contact. and that's interesting on its own—what could he possibly have done to lose his entire family like that? my personal guess is he got caught with a boy and got kicked out over it, but it could be hetero slutting around too; it could be the drinking or the gambling or not going to school or his parents just fucking suck absolute ass, or any number of things that aren't Picturesque Rural Wisconsin Family appropriate
but also. i'm really fascinated by the sense of... isolation, i guess? that this confers on him as a character. he's such a loud, eye-catching presence In The Moment, and i wonder how long it takes the people around him to realize that he only seems to exist In The Moment, and doesn't have a past he's anchored in enough to discuss it even with the people he's closest to.
like how long does it take gale to realize he's spilled his guts about his dad to bucky, in a way that very clearly carries some level of "i'm letting you see something no one else has seen" feeling with it... and he got nothing back of equivalent weight wrt bucky's family, not just in that conversation but at any point that we see on screen? months? years? does gale EVER realize bucky's hidden/neglected to share his past even after gale's given bucky his?
#DOES GALE EVER HAVE A FLINT-ON-THE-CLIFFS MOMENT#not to black sails too hard but. yeah. the bucky-silver parallel is what i'm going for here.#does ANYONE ever realize? because *I* fucking didn't! for a WHILE!#mota meta#mota#masters of the air#john egan#bucky egan#clegan#...kind of#buck x bucky#i've been sitting on this for a little bit so i don't know if it coheres anymore but have it anyway
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Surely this is a safe place to say this
Random thought while struggling to find references for this fucking outfit THIS ACT 2/3 ACADEMY(?) UNIFORM IS FUGLY I'M GONNA SAY IT
The fuck is this mess. What is it. Why does it have like 5 layers. wtf is his tie tucked into. The color scheme. Vertical stripes. Tf are those weird strappy buckles for. What are the reflective bits. Is it a reflective vest. For all the forklifts driving around ofc. The only saving grace of this outfit is that it exists on Viktor's body and that elevates it from a 1/10 to a 2/10.
Is this specifically Viktor's wardrobe or is it an Academy uniform cuz it's a lot different from what he and Jayce wear in Act 1 (and they're not really involved with the academy in later acts iirc I guess but I'm in no logical state here)
Look at that. Comfy. Practical. Scholarly. A dress shirt and a thin vest. The kinda shit you can wear while hunched over at a desk for 15 hours straight. Easy to cosplay. Shit I wear this on the regular already.
Why'd they give him a goddamn sleeveless silver surfer ass parka later on. I hate the vest. Why it look like that. Is so fucking bulky. That shit looks heavy. My boy gonna melt in any decent summer. I worked up a sweat and a sore neck just looking at it. Spent 20 minutes trying to figure out the fucking act 2/3 fit for cosplay and drawing purposes and I'm like 90% sure he's wearing three separate tops not including the vest. Viktor if this is your own style and not like obligatory businesswear then this ain't it (you're still stunning ofc)
(im very sorry im rather drunk and have been spending too much time thinking about this)
#I'm exactly 47% serious here I love every character designer involved in this show#yes I know Vik may need a bunch of layers bc of the back brace n the hunch but BRUH#this means nothing I'm just frustrated over trying to understand this uniform so I can draw it#idk What it is but it is not fucking clicking#I have THREE discarded papers full of sketches of this fit and I don't fucking get what connects with what#actual competent artists pls help I am a failure and a fraud#arcane#viktor#rambles#this now takes the award for Most Pointless Post over my previous one#yeah this is coherent Alexa send tweet
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i think they should be even more insane. as a treat
#k4yfour MY streamer!!!!! woooooooooo!!!#real talk i don't know. WHAT is happening in their smp lore. but i approve all the time every time#i have like seven trillion headcanons about them and none of them are coherent or cc at all but whatever. nobody can stop me#this one is painted on a jewelery case that i'm repurposing for pins and keychains :)) a bit of silliness#k4 why must you stream at four am in my timezone. you are killing me over here#yapping yapping... dylqnnnn sketches tomorrow once i'm done w job training 🫡 and if i become a liar you are permitted to kill me. trust#k4yfour#hbg#hbgsmp#house builder gang#mcsr#mcsr fanart#mcsrblr#art#artists on tumblr
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Currently OBSESSED with evil x, my favorite tropes are:
1. Hes not evil. Hes trying to be, but he really sucks at it
2. Hes the scapegoat. The forgotten brother. Hes the one who always got blamed for everything and never had a support system. He became the thing they were scared of out of self defense, out of desperation. He never had a choice. He never wanted this. But at least hes the one getting hurt and blamed for everything, not his brother. (or, alternatively: hes so angry at his brother for getting everything evil x ever wanted to have)
#I woke up at 6am#And my sleep deprived evil x obsessed ass wrote this#I don't know how coherent this is im too tired to know#Anyways im going back to sleep#hermitcraft#hermitblr#evil xisuma#xisuma#xisumavoid#wolau rambling#<-wait what's my au tag doing here 👁️👁️#Surely this isn't foreshadowing hidden in a silly lil tweet#Oh my god did i just call this a tweet#Do yall understand how sleep deprived i am#God i hate summer the heat keeps waking me up
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Luxlight Ghost
It would appear that you have downloaded a mysterious entity onto your computer. Don't worry, he's harmless. At least in this current state. As long as you treat him with kindness, he will be content to exist on your desktop. Content warning: This ghost may contain references to death, murder, and nightmares. Viewer discretion is advised.
This is my entry to the 2024 Ghost Jam hosted by @ukagakadreamteam! This is the first ghost I've ever created by myself, so please pardon any bugs that you may encounter.
Github Download
#ukagaka#ghost jam 2024#ghost jam#Lux (OC)#i don't know what to post here#i am riding on half coherency because I am so nervous LOL#LET'S HOPE I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT ;W;
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Also, while I'm rereading: did seiji meet taki before he was named the clan head (since he said he went "on behalf of his father", and didn't say directly that he went as the matoba clan head) or after (since it could also mean that he did went there as the matoba clan head, just that he was honoring his father's past connection)? And does that mean the eye-eater youkai left the horrible scar after he became the clan head, which happened before he met natsume and after he met taki on her grandpa's sixth death anniversary?
#not sure if this is even coherent since i feel dizzy as hell but thoughts are being thunk. it's driving me lowkey crazy 🧍♀️#so funny that seiji didn't even hesitate to show said horrible scars to natsume but he just went “don't worry about it /_^” to taki lmao 😭#i'm not sure how death anniversaries works in japan but taki looks so happy here :( i wonder if this happened right before the manga starts#like. i wonder what they talked about. or how much info seiji can divulge. and did taki handle the guests who visits on her grandpa's death#anniversary all alone (since maybe isamu is already away for uni). does seiji know about the taki family's illegal spells then. waughhh 😭#matoba seiji#taki tooru#natsume takashi#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#natsuyuu#natsuyuu manga#natsumanga
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Does anyone ever think that like. One of the central ideas of Hannibal is that human beings are delicious.
Not even just in a cannibalism-taboo way, either. Literally everyone who’s gone to one of Hannibal’s dinner parties agrees: The food is good.
(There’s that confusing moment in Trou Normand where it looks like Abigail is realizing what it is she’s eating--confusing because she doesn’t Figure Hannibal Out until later. But what if she isn’t thinking, This tastes just like-- but instead I haven’t had meat this good since--)
It’s not just the taste, either. Human beings in Hannibal seem to make incomparable mushroom fertilizer and instrument strings. Bees love human bodies. And every artist in the entire goddamn world seemingly has this temptation towards human-corpse-as-artistic-medium. Garret Jacob Hobbs uses human hair as pillow stuffing. He holds his pipes together with paste made from human bones.
Also probably worth mentioning is That One Shot in Sorbet (no, That Other One Shot in Sorbet)--the one with the opera singer’s throat, followed by the lingering shot of Hannibal’s ear. It’s the meat again. Meat is singing and more meat is listening. Hannibal is moved to tears--his enjoyment even of music is physical.
It’s probably stretching a bit to try to fit Self-Actualization Via Murder into this paradigm but well. I’m going to try anyway. It’s not just the corpses but the making of corpses that holds this fantastic power in Hannibal Land. We’ve got Randall Tier and Francis Dolarhyde and Will Goddamn Graham all reaching (for) their truest selves via the doing of murder. Hannibal talks about it like this:
We both know the unreality of taking a life. Of people who die when we have no other choice. We know in those moments they are not flesh, but light, and air, and color.
There’s something magical about that. The moment when a person separates from their (useful! valuable! delicious!) body and becomes something else. The moment itself is valuable, if you are one of the Tier-Dolarhyde-Graham classification of killers in Hannibal’s universe.
I feel like I’ve seen a lot of focus on Hannibal disguising what it is he’s cooking with. How his cooking is so good despite. If this post has a thesis, I guess it is that, instead, Hannibal is a good cook because.
#hannibal#meta#and#hannibal meta#is this how you meta i don't even know i don't do this but i got this thought stuck in my head#don't you need A Point#here's another attempt at A Point#so much of art is about what's left behind when you move bodies in space#or at least#i'm a big calligraphy nerd (and so is hannibal and) that's what calligraphy is all about#and i suppose Some Kind Of Artistic Idea Related To That Would Be#a body (alive) moves a body (dying) through space#(through multiple spaces as Body Singular becomes Pieces Plural)#and what's left behind after they both stop is It#ok ok ok ok the more i write the less coherent this becomes Send Post
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your post-canon utah AU makes me want to eat drywall i love them so much 😭
they mean so much to me 😭💕
oughhhh I wish my thoughts about the au weren't so incoherent 99% of the time so that I could talk about it more
it's just so... the sheer size of the world is so much bigger than the smp. this world has billions of people. yet here they are, c!dream and c!wilbur, in some random town in utah. they're the only familiar face in this giant world. (technically there are other members of the smp in this world, but it's not like c!dream and c!wilbur know this).
they don't really talk about their shared history, but it still inhabits the space around them. c!wilbur wakes to cold sheets every morning, but it doesn't change the fact that c!dream sleeps in the same bed as him every night. c!wilbur hated the fact that there was such a blatant reminder of the smp in his house. he hated when c!dream left for a week. c!dream didn't initially want to stay with c!wilbur. but, as far as he knows, there's not another familiar face in this whole entire world.
c!wilbur is in therapy by time c!dream arrives. it takes months for him to even bring up the mere idea of c!dream trying therapy. they start leaning on each other. they start caring about each other. c!wilbur hates himself for how much he wants c!dream. c!dream just wants c!wilbur to wash away the pain he doesn't admit is there. c!wilbur is practically drowning in guilt when he looks at what c!dream's become. a part of c!dream resents c!wilbur. a part of c!wilbur resents c!dream. they don't talk about it until they do. eventually, eventually they try couple's group therapy.
things get better. then they get worse. and then they get so much better.
at some point, much later, c!dream looks at c!wilbur—once again complaining about the people who don't know how to use the traffic circle even though c!wilbur can't even drive—and he thinks, I love you. at some point, c!wilbur looks at c!dream—sweat causing his hair to stick to his forehead, swollen lips tugged into a smirk—and he thinks, I love you.
they want each other—they crave each other—and c!wilbur hates himself for it. then they care about each other, and it makes c!dream want to snarl and bare his teeth. then they love each other, and they realize that they love this soft, domestic epilogue that they stumbled into years ago.
it gets better. they heal. they don't talk about everything until they do, and then those hurts get better, too. and some days it still feels like they don't really deserve this peace they've found, but they love it anyway.
and they have friends. friends who give them christmas gifts and invite them to new year's parties. friends who laugh with them and bring them baked goods.
eventually they stumble across more people from the smp. it's not fine until it is. which is kinda the big thing with this au. it eventually gets better.
#I hope this is coherent#this au is a lot of things and everything is subject to change but here are my post-nine hour shift thoughts lmao#this au summarized: c!dreambur in gay love in utah#they get asked if they're going to the local pride parade and they don't even know what it is lmao#they go anyway#c!dream gets overstimulated and has a panic attack rip#c!wilbur *almost* has a panic attack in response#stella answers#judgehangman#all roads lead to... utah?#c!dreambur
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there's an essay jumbled up in my brain about dunmeshi's beginning and how clever and deceptive it is as a sleight-of-hand trick that distracts the audience from the depth and scope of the worldbuilding and foreshadowing that's being set up the entire time by dangling zany characters and wacky dishes and biology fun facts in front of us, and how that serves to catch invested viewers off guard when those elements come to the forefront, but also how it works against it with other viewers wanting "more" and not seeing it because the plot bait isn't laid out up front
how people getting frustrated with the characters "not taking things seriously" is mirrored and refuted in the confrontation between Laios and Shuro. how the characters' attitudes aren't just a result of shallow low-stakes "comedy rules" where nothing matters, but are an extension of their personalities (Laios's nonstandard expression of emotions being offputting even to people he knows) and the world and social environment (adventurers being desensitized to death and injury because resurrection magic is commonplace). the way the party refers to "saving Falin" instead of "retrieving Falin's corpse," indicating that they still see her with full personhood, and how that phrasing leads to some readers/viewers believing that Falin is alive in the dragon's stomach, conscious of being slowly digested while the party carelessly fucks around "wasting time." how the weird tonal dissonance makes sense in-universe and yet is deliberately challenged more and more the deeper the party goes
all the character building and pieces of lore slowly weaving together the shape of the larger world, laying the groundwork for the major themes that will surface later. so much is right there in the "low-stakes" early episodes if you know what you're looking for (or pass the perception checks).
it can be so satisfying to see new viewers/readers pick up on the clues even in the earliest "simple" episodes, or notice new things and make connections yourself....and it can also be frustrating to see people dismiss oddities and dissonance as shallow or bad writing because they don't expect a "cooking anime" to have depth like that. why try to question and understand and peel back the layers when you don't expect there to be any layers?
why can't laios take things seriously for once?
#mypost#i'm majorly out of practice for doing any real critical cohesive writing lol#trying to put this into coherent words has been such a mess so here's a vague gesture at my thought process about it#it's both my favorite and the most frustrating thing to see#because i've seen SO MANY people say they dropped the show after a couple eps thinking they know what it's about and where it's going#a cute but ultimately unsustainable gimmick#people for whom the characters and the food/biology infodumping weren't enough of a hook#but i wouldn't change anything about the structure to put a more obvious plot hook in the beginning#because it would give the game away TOO much#i LOVE how the audience has to acclimate to the characters' attitudes about death#only for our assumption that it's all normal and fine in this world to be thrown back in our faces#how we're left to notice the winged lion appearing in statues and carvings and coins and armor in the background#long long before it's ever brought up as a real entity by the plot#the history of the kingdom laid out in plain view but nevermind that. magic painting food!#i've seen the language around falin and her resurrection cause so much confusion#but of COURSE the characters involved wouldn't directly say 'we need to get her corpse to revive it'#bc pragmatically they already understand that as their goal. it doesn't need to be stated out loud; it's just how this process works.#but also they don't SEE her as an object. a dead body.#they need to 'save her before she's digested.' 'the spell couldn't reach her in the dragon's stomach.' 'hang in there falin'#death isn't real to them. not really. and so it doesn't quite feel real to the audience either#not until they find her skull and that realization slams home#like......i keep comparing it to gravity falls#which is episodic and goofy in the beginning but also has a much more obvious plot hook to keep people interested#(a main character entering a secret bunker indicating that he's lying about his ignorance of the town's mysteries)#the main characters in gravity falls are AWARE that there is a mystery to be solved and are trying to find more information#but i don't think that approach would work as well for dm!#laios's goals were never that lofty. not until they HAD to be because the situation demanded it of him#it's the characters trying to solve one personal problem and finding themselves entrenched in something vast and dramatic#that they weren't even fully AWARE of when they set out. and we the audience are on that journey with them!#it's SUCH a good structure i wouldn't trade it for anything. but also. tragic to see people give up and dismiss it so fast.
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ok i'm almost done with the new firmament chapter, i have So Many thoughts 👀
#keeping my thoughts in the tags bc it's late and this in not going to be very coherent#positive thing first: i did enjoy the lore!! i'm a sucker for lore dumps and i love to connect dots so it was a very fun read to me#that said. it was fun but also convoluted af in some points so i saved everything in the journal to analyse it#after the entirety of firmament comes out. i have Many Thoughts about the shames mention and the judgements#but i have Zero Braincells to elaborate them. they're all going in the red string board until further notice#one thing i did NOT vibe with were the christian references but you all know that about me by now#i'm just trying to appreciate the funky cosmic horror vibe here i don't need a gloria in excelsis deo reference#(i understand it conveys a specific vibe but. there are many other things that can do that)#talking from a character pov this chapter was SO PERFECT for my guy's own flavour of insanity. drowning him in violant forever >:)#also. he wasn't happy about erasing the prisoner's memories. he understood it was necessary but he didn't like to destroy them#(i ended up leaving him with Love)#speaking of the prisoner. what the fuck is going on with him. i need to study him under a microscope#(and reread everything when i have more braincells)#i'm also very glad to finally have a bit more info about the vulgate and the apocryphal realities#this chapter answered a few questions and i hope the nex one will answer even more#tldr: very cool lore even if it was Confusing AF sometimes (but we still have more chaoters to read so we'll see)#+ i love zenith so fucking much it's my favourite roof location so far!! psychic damaging memory beam city <333#anyway goodnight#fl spoilers#chitchat
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not to be Dramatic but i need hollywood to stop having the characters who live in the woods away from society who are seen as having a simpler way of life dancing tinikling in like half a scene
it's only happened twice but it's pissing me off
#not pjo#chitter chatter#i can't remember any asian named characters in the scene in the first instance and in the second i believe the actress is indonesian but#the bigger problem for me is does anyone in the audience even know what tinikling is?? do YOU know what tinikling is#it's not that i don't think people from outside that region of the world (since it's not just in the philippines) shouldn't learn the dance#it's that the framing of it TWICE!!!!! in TWO MOVIES!!!! is so similar it makes me mad#i don't CARE if the smokes is 'more real and authentic' it's still the people living without technology in the woods and it's FRUSTRATING#uglies literally had a like 5 second shot of it. why. what was that supposed to show.#and honestly just fuck zombies 2 everything about the werewolves was questionable to me#heres your rant of the day#havent used that tag in a while but im not being coherent this just really bothers me!!!#when i saw it in zombies 2 i wasnt like omg!!! tinikling!!! i was like what the fuck why is this here#thats my tag for when im being unreasonable and upset.#also uglies was bad
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I finished kiseki: dear to me last week and chen yi and ai di have me in a chokehold. No one I know has watched it so I'm gonna word vomit here lol.
I was honestly really surprised at how differently I view chen yi and ai di than most other people here and on twitter. Most people are really sympathetic to ai di, which is valid, but I think we're missing chen yi's pov in all this?
Starting with the birthday thing. The whole thing is a breakdown of communication. Was it ever really specified that they'd spend each birthday alone? I think it's very possible that chen yi also felt rejected by ai di's refusal to attend the boss's birthday party for them every year. Now, that doesn't negate the fact that he could have spent time with ai di after, or gotten him gifts.
I'm also not sure chen yi actually had a crush on the boss. It's very possible, and that was ai di's understanding, but it may not be true. To me, getting an extremely similar tattoo isn't a sign of liking someone, but instead a sign of wanting to BE that person. Chen yi may be confused, but to me, all signs point to him wanting to be the person his boss is. Like zerui said, there is a difference between love and admiration and it's unclear if chen yi could tell the difference
Another thing people forget about is that, for years chen yi had just thought of ai di as his little brother. I believe that there was some very real panic on chen yi's end when he realized his feelings were changing. I've read posts about how people thing chen yi kissing ai di in ep6 as him using ai di as a substitute and i'm like ????. Like y'all, chen yi know who he's kissing. Mans probably had a breakdown after that bc he's realizing that subconsciously, he doesn't see ai di as his annoying little brother anymore. And then he repressed that and tried to act like everything was fine (which it really wasn't). He probably thought his possessiveness over ai di was completely normal before all this.
All of their problems boil down to a complete and utter lack of communication. It's apparent that ai di did everything in his power to hide his feelings for chen yi, so how was he supposed to know? Also ai di leaving after what happened in ep9 is completely absurd to me. Esepcially with that note. Like you were so convinced one thing was going to happen you didn't leave space for any other possibility. I understand ai di was 18 then, and that's 100% 18 year old behavior but still.
We get a lot more of ai di's pov than chen yi's, which is likely why public opinion skews towards him, but I really do feel like there's more to the story than the feelings and opinions of such an unreliable narrator.
#kiseki: dear to me#chen yi x ai di#just my ramblings#i know this likely isn't coherent but here we are#don't get confused i do love both of them#no i didn't read this back it is what it is
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