#I don't know there's something deeply odd at yelling at other people that they might infect someone

[nethhiri]

Siren Charms: Chapter 8

Zoro x Siren!Reader

Warnings: mentions of violence and blood

Hunger

The Straw Hats were a lot more welcoming than you expected them to be, more welcoming than you deserved from them. The only one who maintained a distance was Zoro. It was plain to see he still didn't trust you. He hesitated about giving your sword back, eyeing it with some curiosity, as he did so. He seemed to realize you didn't need a sword to hurt anyone. Your body was the weapon. 

All the human contact was a bit overwhelming for you, more so since you were so hungry. You often set yourself apart, sitting on the figurehead or the roof of the crow's nest. You were a nocturnal creature, so it was easy for you to climb into one of the trees on the ship and fall asleep on a limb during the daytime hours. A few times you might have been so deeply asleep and weak in general that you fell out of the tree. You didn't even wake up one of those times and it was a miracle you didn't fall into Zoro's lap since he often slept in the shade of the trees.

You found yourself in the kitchen, quite shamefully. Sanji greeted you with his normal enthusiasm and astutely noticed your demeanor. "What's wrong, mademoiselle?" 

"Remember the other day, when you yelled at Luffy for stealing food?"

"I do."

"It... was me." Your craving was so intense you broke the lock on the fridge and ate a few steaks raw from the fridge. "I'm sorry." You felt bad that Luffy got whopped on the head for your thievery. 

Sanji lamented, "Am I not feeding you well enough? Is my cooking subpar?!" He dramatically put his head on the counter. "I apologize for starving you so!" He was impressed that you basically ripped the fridge door off the hinges trying to get in. Nothing Franky couldn't fix. 

"No, no. That's not it. Your cooking is great." You didn't know how to explain. "I need...more. More than food." You actually didn't need to eat food at all, but you could still enjoy the flavors. "I need blood...from people." 

"Oh like for your devil fruit?" Sanji nodded. "Don't you worry about it. I got you covered." 

You didn't correct him. They seemed to be under the impression you had some kind of vampiristic devil fruit power. There wasn't a reason to correct them in your eyes. They could create their own justifications in their head for why you were this way. No one had outright asked you, so it didn't matter that much anyway.

That evening you during dinner, one of the only times you were with everyone together, Sanji delivered a cup of viscous red liquid. You grabbed his wrist as he pulled it back from setting the cup down. There were bandages around his hand. In a flash, you tore the bandages with a nail to reveal a thin red line. "You didn't have to do that." You pressed the flat of your tongue against his palm and let his hand go. "There." The cut on his hand was a healed pink line. 

Chopper was fascinated. "How did you do that?!" He made a mental note to examine the properties of your saliva later.

"Just can." You shrugged. While Sanji was saying something about never washing that hand again, you tried exercising self-control in drinking the blood he provided for you. That failed almost immediately when you chugged it and then stuck your tongue as far down the sides as you could to lick the sides clean. 

Luffy was ecstatic that Nami and Usopp immediately relinquished their plates out of queasiness. 

"Maybe let's not have blood at the table," Nami said, almost apologetically. 

You shrank, feeling like you were in trouble. "Sorry." You wiped your mouth on the back of your hand and excused yourself. 

It was difficult assimilating. You had odd habits and odder tastes. At least now you had some human blood in you. You could already feel a pump from the energy. All you needed was a jumpstart. With that little bit you could grow your wings and locate other food sources. You would have been able to sooner had Luffy not banned you from feeding on the crew. You sat atop the crow's nest, eyes scanning the horizon. The wind tossed the scent of humans close by at your nose. 

You waited until everyone had gone to bed, pulling your mask over your face. Franky had taken it while you were hurt and inspected it, fascinated by the foreign technology. It was an oxygen concentrator. Helpful for when you were at high altitude or deep sea, where the element was somewhat scarce. It also helped give you a performance boost in normal circumstances. 

It felt so good and so freeing after a week of being human-bound for your wings to sprout from your back, erupting from your skin in a black flourish. As soon as the feathers settled into position, you launched yourself to the sky, a few flaps of your wings sending you gliding under the stars. The promise of a good meal had you rocketing towards the smell of humans. For you, a distance of a few miles was well within your hunting range. Your internal compass was impeccable and there was no worry in your mind that you wouldn't find your way back. Plus your green snack had such a hold over you, that you felt like his scent could bring you back from twice as far. In fact, the entire time you fed, you pretended it was him you were draining, for the brief feeling of satisfaction. 

Without a sound, several hours later, your feet touched the deck. A pair of gray eyes watched you, narrowing, wondering where you had gone. 

[agent--shadow]

"I never wanted to. I just..." He takes a long pause trying to figure out how to word that period of life in a way that made sense. "After... After my youngest sister...." He winces again as his throat tightens a little. "Took her own life, I wanted to make sure my remaining family had everything they needed. I checked the help-wanted board for weeks, nothing."

He looks up a bit, but not at anything in particular, just dwelling in his own thoughts. "Eventually, I found a single flier tucked into the crevices, I thought it was odd that you wouldn't put it out openly, but I should've known." He grits his teeth as he pulls his hands up to his head, trying to quell the painful regret swirling through him. "How I wish I hadn't found that flier."

"The job paid well, though I didn't know what I'd be doing on the daily. Some days I'd be restocking products, other days I was mining ore. Though it almost didn't matter, I got to come home every day with a little treat for my sister. I got to give her a little bit of joy in a bleak world. But..." He trails off as he forces the sobs in his throat to die in his mouth. Thinking of everything after. He'd tried so hard not to, to just forget that it ever existed, that it'd ever matter again. But of course it mattered. Of course he'd have to relive the story again. No matter how many times he tried to push it down, it would always come back.

"One day..." He fights to steady his wavering voice. "Our parents were able to get on a program to take people out of the country. To a better place, a happier place, a calmer, more peaceful place where we could all live happily ever after. Except we didn't. I don't know what happened, mom and dad didn't explain anything to me except 'she's gone now' and she was." Kai has lost the battle with his raging emotions, tears are streaming down his cheeks, he's practically yelling, forgotten who he's talking to at this point. He hasn't told anyone this, not in a long time, never in this much detail. But it's finally clawing its way out of his mind, and he's not sure if it's for better or worse.

"The company I was working with was also in our new place, I didn't care anymore. They told me to do something, I did it. Life was dull, I didn't know why I was still living it. I guess so my parents still had a living child? I don't know what I owed them," his voice was full of disdain, yet more steady. "But they didn't take it well when Rose died, I didn't want anyone to go through that again, so I just continued."

"Eventually, I was talking with a coworker, and they said they had something for me, something to take the pain away. to make everything better again. At that point I was willing to try anything, I trusted them, I went down an alley way and they strapped me into a device, I didn't care that it was oddly suspicious, at least if it killed me I might get some peace. But it did something so much worse..." He clenches his fists below the table as his squeezes his eyes shut, trying to get the swirls of green in his eyes to go away. All he wanted was to pass out, to die, maybe. But... If Lilac was alive. If there was even a sliver of a chance he could see her again, to apologize for what he did, what had happened, he had to stay on, just a little longer.

"I blacked out, I didn't wake up again until I was standing in an alleyway surrounded by a lot of my coworkers who were chuckling. I had a bloody nose, I remember that's the first thing I noticed, my left jaw was sore, someone had punched me. The second thing I noticed were her cries. I froze, I forced my eyes open, stuff as they were, and I saw my own sister-" his voice wavers again as he palms his head in shame. "Crying out in pain, with My. Knife sunk deep into her right shoulder. So deep that her arm..." He breathed deeply, trying not to retch. "It was barely attached to her body."

For the first time in the interview Kai looked his interrogator straight in the eyes, grief taking over his. "She looked into my eyes. Those young, once innocent eyes. She didn't say anything, but she didn't need to for me to understand. I had done that. My own flesh and blood betrayed the very thing I had sought to protect. It was the first time I'd seen her in years, and I almost took it away."

Kai has pulled his knees up to his chest on the chair, trying to find solace one of the only ways he knew how. By hiding his shameful face from every respectable person. "I'm sorry." Though he knew it wasn't close to enough.

Questioning and Revelations

After some medical attention, Kai (@agent--shadow) finds himself inside one of the agency's interrogation rooms. Several signal blockers have been set up, cutting him off from any outside communication.

Handler Ellie walks in the room, her eyes cold and strict. She puts down an analog recorder, several digital microphones and cameras have littered the room.

"I would appreciate it if you would cooperate with this questioning, young man." Despite her words implying it was a request, her tone was clearly implying that it wasn't an option to be uncooperative.

She checks her watch, checking the time. If her guess is right, Handler Blue (@blueorchid-95) will arrive in half an hour. She would've heard about Kai's location around this time and once she hears about this, it would not be pretty.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Twitter has basically begun a crusade for crucifixion of a group of girls who have gone to Harry’s shows. One girl tested positive for covid the day after the Las Vegas show (allegedly negative the day before but 🤷‍♀️), and immediately did what she could to get the word out. The internet did what the internet does and found a few other girls who were pictured all massless in a group with her, and who have since gone to the Denver show. All of Twitter has engaged in this super weird, very aggressive attack on these girls - everything from tweets begging them to wear a mask and stop going to shows, threatening them if they don’t wear masks, insulting them, and (perhaps strangest of all to me) attempting to guilt them using the possibility that they’ll get Harry sick and/or get either Sarah and Mitch sick who will give it to the baby. Now I acknowledge Twitter isn’t always the most sane or rational place, but all of this has been a bit confusing to me. What are they trying to accomplish? What do they think they’re actually accomplishing? Did they really believe every single person who went to Harry’s shows would behave with integrity and wear a mask the whole time and/or skip a show if they thought they might have been exposed prior to it? That’s maybe the most concerning to me, because I worry it means a whole lot of people have very, very incorrect ideas about their true level of risk attending these shows. I have pit tickets to one, but I am under no delusions that every single person in the pit with me will be behaving as an angel. That someone, or more likely multiple someones in the pit would be covid positive and would at some point go maskless regardless of the rules was one of the factors I took into consideration when I decided to go to my show. The morality policing really bothers me, too, because it always seems to turn so quickly from “you might get Harry or Mitch and Sarah or the baby sick” to “every single one of you is a horrible person for going to shows in the first place you careless monsters,” and then devolving into these arbitrary rules like no one should ever go to more than one show, or if you have to travel at all outside your hometown for a show don’t go to it. There has also been lots of proposing other risk reduction measures that don’t make sense to me practically, like testing every single ticket holder - great in theory. Practically a nightmare. As I’m getting to the end of this ask I’m realizing it doesn’t really have a point - just that when I saw all this unfold I thought about you, and the way you’ve laid out a framework to analyze the real risk of going to a show like this, which have really helped me think about my own show, and which I wish more people could have seen. Hope you’re well!

Thanks for this anon (I'm finally heading back to some anons from earlier in the tour that I'm really interested in). It's lovely that you say that the way I lay out the risk has helped you.

After I started reading this I read an article about wellness and vaccine denial and the tag line was: 'The randomness of illness is far too frightening for many to contemplate – so they rely on a fiction they’re special and can control their bodies' And that's something we see everywhere - including people loudly insisting that if everyone wore masks we'd know that Mitch and Sarah's baby wouldn't get sick.

The discussion seems to me to be deep in denial about what is known about COVID. In particular, that screaming for an hour, inside, surrounded by other people who are also screaming, is pretty high up there on the most COVID-unsafe activities. Masks reduce the risk (although given how intensely aeorsol friendly screaming is - nobody can be sure how much). But an intervention can reduce the risk and there can still be lots of risk. It's so important that people don't do scream for a long time around other people, unless they accept the full range of risks of what they're doing, including the risk that they might infect other people, even if they're vaccinated, even if they're wearing a mask the entire time.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about what people are doing when they say 'think about Mitch and Sarah's baby'. There's the straight racism of worrying about a white baby (COVID isn't even likely to be the most risky virus for a baby in the arena) when there's a black man with breathing problems on stage. But there's a clear purpose to all of that - which is the moralistic worldview. The baby isn't just vulnerable, but innocence, and by invoking innocence the outraged tweeters are suggesting someone's guilty.

************

In general, 'people just need to be better' is a terrible public health and political response. And what I need to remind myself is that's true of people dealing with their COVID anxiety by seeking certainty when there is none, as well as suggesting perfect masking could stop spread in high risk environments.

While I'm very tempted when faced with this sort of material to rage against what a ridiculous view of risk it is (and I usually give into temptation), it's far more useful to acknowledge that wanting certainty is a really normal response. The last year and a half has been incredibly stressful for so many people. And many people have been left in situations where there's insufficient support, completely untrustworthy communication and absolutely terrified.

The people who are anxious on twitter probably come by at least some of their anxiety honestly. (Although how much of the anxiety is about Harry as opposed to COVID is an open question). And so I do think it's worth saying: 'the situation is really scary, but yelling and trying to control other people won't make you safer, or make the situation less controlling and scary'. But that sort of response if you can suggest something less damaging that people can do and I don't know enough about the US to know what would help (I'm guessing anything that takes vaccines and good information to where people are - and it's worth praising Harry's team for what they're doing along those lines).

So I do have one final answer to a question you didn't ask anon. You say 'twitter' and 'all of twitter' in your ask. I think it's useful to conciously reject that framing. What you saw was being done by some accounts. There were lots of people who thought differently, or didn't care, but you didn't see them because they didn't post. People who say things can end up taking up a disproportionate space in our awareness, because we can't see silence.

I'm sure they've moved on to some absurd other policing now (a few days ago it owuld have been signs, I'm not sure what people are engaging with now). Which shows that a lot of it wasn't about COVID and also that it's worth actively not trying to allow it to grow bigger in importance than it actually is.

[kimoralov3]

Loki Secret Santa Event

Requested by: @tonystarkfucksaround

Word Count: 1080

Pairing: Not really a pairing, but Peter Parker and Loki

Warnings: My usual bad writing

It was a pretty normal day at the compound - well as normal as you could get when it comes to the Avengers. Most of them were out and about somewhere. Carol, Wanda, and Natasha went to go see a movie, Thor was on a date with Jane, Sam and Bucky were visiting Sarah, Clint was home with his family, and Bruce was on a vacation.

That only left a few more heroes; Tony, Peter, and the newest recruit, Loki Laufeyson. To some, this may seem like an odd group of people, but what might be even odder is that they were sitting in the living room, and Peter was trying to teach Loki how to play Dance Dance Revolution.

“So Midgardians play this game for fun? I don’t quite see the appeal; it just seems like an overly complicated way to work up a sweat.” Loki complained as they stared at the screen in slight disgust.

“That’s an awful lot of words to say that you don’t understand something, Reindeer Games.” Tony quipped from the couch. Loki scowled at him before turning his attention back to Peter.

“Ignore what Mr. Stark is saying - this game is really fun! Just play one round with me and you’ll see what I’m talking about.” Peter explained as he pointed at the game.

Loki sighed; this game really did seem like one of the more stupid things Midgradians had come up with, but the way that Peter was looking at him with those adorably big eyes was enough to convince them to play the game. “Fine, but you’re picking the song.”

Peter let out a quiet ‘yes’ before going to the song menu and picking a random one. He made sure Loki wasn’t looking before setting the difficulty to 2. “Ok, you’re all set up Mx. Laufeyson! Enjoy!” Peter exclaimed as he stepped aside.

“This ought to be entertaining,” Tony mumbled as he sat up.

The song started off easy, only requiring one stomp at a time. “This is easy, I could do this in my sleep.” Loki bragged. It was a bit too soon though because they soon began to struggle as the song went on. The steps were a lot closer together, and he had to use both legs instead of just one.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., are you recording all of this… prime entertainment?” Tony asked as he watched in amusement.

“Yes sir. I am programmed to record anything that happens in this compound for security reasons.” The AI responded. Tony nodded, turning his attention back to Loki.

“This is impossible! You’re telling me people do this for fun?!” Loki yelled as the song came to its most difficult part.

“Yeah, a lot of people grew up with this game, it’s like one of the best things ever,” Peter explained. “But don’t doubt yourself, you got this! There’s only a little bit left.” Peter tried his best to encourage Loki, but it didn’t seem to be working all that well. As the round came to an end, the god tried their absolute best to get a decent score. Once the game finally ended, they huffed and flopped on the couch,

“Y’know, I thought being stuck here with a teenager and a God who doesn’t know what shampoo and conditioner are would be the most boring thing ever, but this might be the most fun I’ve had in a while, and I thank the both of you for that. Now, if you’ll both excuse me, I’ll be in my lab.” Tony said as he stood up, walking off.

Loki laid still, arm over their eyes and taking deep breaths in and out. Peter cleared his throat, turning off the game. “I guess Dance Dance Revolution wasn’t the best idea, but I have plenty of other ones that will be better! And these don’t involve dancing! Well, actually a few of them might but-”

“Peter, I care for you deeply and I don't mean to be rude, but can you please be quiet for like 2 minutes while I calm my nerves.” Loki snapped. Peter mumbled a small apology before sitting down beside Loki. Peter sat there and thought for a moment before he got an idea, shooting up and running to his room. He came back a few moments later with a cardboard box under his arm. Loki had finally recovered, sitting up when they saw Peter come into the room. “What’s that?” They asked as they pointed to the box.

“It’s a Lego set, me and Ned build them together all the time. I figured that this was a good way to cheer you up.” He said as he set the box down on the table. Loki looked at the words on the box and smiled.

“Harry Potter? Isn’t that the movie you said you wanted to show me a few days ago?”

“Yeah, I figured that we could watch the first one together while we built this. What do you say?” Peter asked nervously.

“I think that that’s a great idea, Peter. Why don’t you get the movie ready while I go make some popcorn?”

—

“So there’s a giant snake underneath the school, and people are just now noticing? That doesn’t make any sense! Why are the children always the ones solving these huge mysteries; this is something the adults should be handling.” Loki rambled on as they watched in disbelief. Peter chuckled and shrugged.

“Yeah, I guess you do have a point there. I never really thought of it like that, but I guess a lot of this stuff is pretty dangerous for kids their age.”

“Most certainly. And you mean to tell me they go through this for like 5 more years? And it just gets worse and worse?” Loki asked as Peter handed him the tower top he had just completed.

“Yep, but the movies are really good. Do you finish them up or call it a night?” Peter asked.

“I could probably go through another movie or two.”

—

“Oh god, Parker is turning Loki into a nerd. Quick, call an ambulance.” Tony joked as he looked at Thor.

“I don’t see how this is a bad thing. They seem to be getting along very well.” Thor remarked.

“Yeah, and at least this way he’s not trying to take over New York. It’s a win-win if you ask me. Now quit being creepy and get back to work.” Bruce said as he shook his head.

[lovelytarou]

kiss me thru the phone — bakugo katsuki

— katsuki always calls you on the phone, making sure that it's his voice you hear when you wake and the one you'll listen to as you fall asleep.

pairing: bakugo katsuki x reader

tags: established relationship, swearing? cuz this is bakugo hehe. not proofread!!

genre: fluff, kinda angst

word count: 1.4k

a/n: 1/7 of the 200 follower event, i can just see him doing this lmao. sorry if the header doesn't look good, i tried my best (˘･_･˘) not at me saying i'll upload this yesterday night but it's already 2am here. it is what it is.

bakugo katsuki is a busy man. 

even when he was in his UA days, you always see him training by himself and excusing himself early to go study and then eventually, sleep. his friends often tease him for being a grandpa and not having time to go and have fun, but when he met you that's when he really started to let himself free and experience fun things with his friends albeit he's masking it as having “no choice but to join” under the guise of watching over his friends as to not make themselves look like idiots, but you know better. you know that when he says he doesn't care, you understand the meaning that he actually does. and deeply too.

he's just a big tsundere who cares a lot for the people he loves. 

now that he's a pro hero working his way up to the top, hectic times and cancelled dates cannot be helped. he has to always excuse himself and apologize over and over for not going to the date you both planned as promised and you always have to say that it's alright, that you understand over and over. and if anyone knew bakugo, it's that he would never settle for less. a simple ‘okay’ isn't enough for him. 

so when you woke up one morning to the ringing of your phone and the rare photo of your lover smiling instead of your cacophonous alarm, you knew it had to be one of those days where bakugo was feeling particularly soft for you.

rolling over on his side of the bed, you answered the call with a smile on your face despite him not seeing it. the warm streaks of sunlight coming through the windows illuminated your face, making you shut your eyes for a moment.

“hi, baby.” you croaked, voice scratchy and raspy upon waking.

you heard his chuckle on the other end before he greeted you as well.

“good morning, sleepyhead. it's 10am already, you should be getting your ass out of bed,” he scolded you. you rolled your eyes as you lied on your back, staring up at the ceiling while you twirled a piece of your hair like a lovestruck schoolgirl talking to your crush. 

“i know, i know. but the bed's still warm and i wanna stay in bed for a bit.” you whined, even pouting for effect that you knew he wouldn't resist. 

you heard him click his tongue in annoyance at your statement. knowing him, he's probably shaking his head in disapproval at your lazy behavior. 

“get the fuck out of bed or else your breakfast will get cold. you don't want to eat cold food, do you?" 

“wait, you made me breakfast?” you felt your stomach do flips at the thought of bakugo waking up early and even having the time and effort to cook for you. 

you heard him scoff at that, “course i did. i know your dumbass will complain about how i didn't cook you anything before i left if i didn't. so eat up, okay? i know i'm not always at home to eat with you and this is the only thing i can do to make you feel that you're not alone. and i'm sorry about that. i promise one of these days, i'll take you out for dinner, alright?” 

he can only hear sniffles and soft sobs on the other end as you nodded. 

“oi, are you crying?!”

“yes! why the hell are you so sweet? and it's too early for me to be crying like this!” you wailed, tears streaming down your face like a waterfall, trying your best to wipe them away with your night shirt. 

“i'd like that very much. you're the best, katsuki. take care and good luck at work!” 

“i know i am, babe. take care as well, don't wait up for me tonight, i'll call you.” you both bid your goodbyes with words of love before he hung up to do his hero work and for you to get ready for the day. you ate your breakfast with a smile on your face and heart feeling much fuller than your stomach with the thought of katsuki.

some days, when he's away on a mission, he'd love to call you randomly and he wouldn't even care if you're doing something or if you're busy. what he knows is that he needs to hear your voice more than anything. 

on a particularly busy and dreadful day, bakugo had called you during work and you picked it up without second thoughts, worry already clouding your mind. 

“tsuki baby!” you greeted in a joyful tone. your smile evaporated when he didn't return the sentiment.

“katsuki? are you okay? what's up, baby?” you tried to make your voice as soothing as possible, knowing that any other unwelcoming approach might set him off.

he sighed on the other end, and you can only guess what happened.

“i'm fine...just...i missed your voice,” his own had a low timbre to it, sort of a deep vulnerable tone he only let you hear when he wanted you to see his true self without the facades and the mask. 

“i'm here now, katsuki. do you wanna talk?” being a pro hero can be stressful as much as he loves it. he's also human, and he can only handle as much when faced with a lot of obstacles in life.

“yeah, that'd be nice. tell me about your day, how are you?” he might be diverting the topic towards you instead but you indulged him in his request and started to tell him about your day – from the time you wake up to the time you arrived to work.

“oh! and um, i also bumped into my old friend a while ago. they asked me about you and i told them that we should meet up someday, you know, like a double date?” 

“sure, yeah. i'd love to meet them. they seem like a cool person.” 

“they are! anyway, what about you? anything happened in there on the mission?” you waited patiently for his response which he appreciated a whole lot than what you realize. 

“it was okay. the mission was going smoothly with everyone helping and then...i just, we rescued this man and his...wife got–” he faltered, you heard him choke a sob through the phone and you can only wish you can hold him right at that moment if you weren't only miles away from each other. 

“it's okay if you don't wanna continue, tsuki. i understand this is heavy for you. i'm sorry you have to suffer through that alone. i wish i can be there for you,” in your head, you're imagining that you're comforting him and kissing his worries away as he's nuzzling into your neck. and you'd tell him that everything will be alright and that you'll always be there for him.

“i'm sorry...thank you, for staying with me and being in my life. i wouldn't know what i'd do without you, honestly. maybe be the same asshole that i was before we met,” he joked, chuckling at the fond memory that felt like ages ago today. 

“no worries, babe. you know i'm always here if you want to talk. i'll listen and you can never talk my ear off because i love listening to you sexy voice.” you teased, knowing it would make him as red as a tomato. the both of you laughed and it felt like you're together, probably at home as you lounged in the living room without worrying about anything.

“whatever. i like hearing your voice too, i guess. anyway, i gotta go in a few minutes. i'm calling again later before you sleep, make sure you don't doze off on me!” you can practically imagine the smoke coming out of his ears as he yelled at his phone.

“yes, yes, i will. i already told you i'm sorry! go kick some villain ass in there, baby. i'll be waiting for you back home.” 

“good. goodbye, i miss you. stay safe and always lock your door and the windows! don't stay up too late or i'll swim there to make you sleep myself–”

before he went on a tangent about his usual scoldings you told him that you still had work to do and he can save them for later, but you felt warm inside knowing this is how he tells you he loves you without really saying them. time and distance may keep you away from each other, but your love can travel through great distances and defy all odds. 

Taglist: @chibishae34

[we-dragons]

I'm from a different dimension actually Chapter 7 Damian x reader

"Ira! I need my emergency kit!" Molly is pulling at my hair with a brush, I grimace at my reflection, she had put pearls and violet gems in my hair. Seeing as it already wasn't long bearly pushing past my ears, even though there aren't many of them in there it ways down in some places. I had already allowed her to put me in a ball gown, which I'm sure costs much more than my apartment building. It reminds me of peacock feathers, purples, greens, blues fill the cloth they blend seamlessly dark purple at the top and ending with blue at the bottom. I look at the matching marbled shoes and guilt climbs through me.

"Molly I don't need makeup, I'm already in a peacock dress, and there are gems in my hair. Besides the mascara is enough I don't want to spend an hour rubbing anything else off." Molly gasps, a hand gripping at her heart.

"Why-how could you say such a thing!" Ira hands Molly her phone, she screams. "We're going to be late! Ira put the bag back!" I'm yanked from my chair and raced down the hall within minutes I'm thrown into a limo with Molly's parents. Molly jumps in starting to yell at the driver shocking her parents who kept telling her to calm down. It doesn't take long to get to Wayne Manor, the courtyard is crowded filled with flashing lights from cameras reporters, and newscasts. They surrounded every inch with an exception of a semi-circle right at the front of the building where the car pulled up. Once more I'm pulled roughly out of the vehicle by molly, I nearly trip going up the stairs.

"Molly dear, we need to go in together!" My friend's mother pants from behind her husband seems to be in a similar position as me. Like mother like daughter.

I pull my arm away from Molly gently and smooth out my peacock dress, I sigh internally finding relief that I had personally told Molly to make the dress so it covered without it being tight. If I didn't then I would be pulling up the fabric like Molly who went not so modest. Not only had she blinged out she full-on black and high heels that pushed out her height. She looked good, and she made her parents match. When her mother finally catches up she puts a hand on her daughter's shoulder.

What happens after the incident leaves me at a table sitting behind a card with my name on it. Molly was seated somewhere else because I had used my own invitation instead of being a plus one. My eyes cast over the room soaking in again the decor of the newly decorated main floor. My energy seems to drain while I watch the people chat dance and laugh. No one was seated at my table and I was slightly relieved but I still felt odd. I had gone to parties with my mom in the past, ones that were held in her honor about her findings. I feel myself relishing in those memories I had looking back at the times she would pull a silly face at me while I was bored at said parties, or told a joke in some of her speeches. My mother was the expert in The Islamic Golden Era, despite not being a Muslim herself. She prided herself on giving credit to those who deserved more but had their work stolen by Europeans. But then, when she went on that Egypt and Greece dig she had found something that unnerved her. I knew what it was, and I wish I hadn't either. My happy thoughts turn sour, and I can feel myself grimace. I am tired...so tired.

"You made it, It's good to see you here." my head whips around falling on emerald eyes.

"Yeah, I had already told Molly that she could take me to the next party she goes to. However, I didn't know that if you came with an invite and not a plus one that you had to sit at a separate table." He snorts and sits down to my right.

"You were originally sat by her but father assumed I needed a friend," He shows me a card with his name on it. "so he changed Grayson out for you."

"Do you not have friends?"

"None close by."

"When have I accepted you as a friend?" He smiles

"That is a good question, but the same goes for me, you more someone I tolerate."

"Same here, Besides your a bad influence."

"tsk,...touche." his gaze looks me up and down and I have the sudden urge to say 'eyes up here'.

"You look tired, would you like to go to the library?"

"Usually libraries and tired people don't mix."

"How about a tour then, we have several artifacts my father has purchased that you might find interesting." He pushes harder.

"You want an excuse to leave, don't you? I thought my main purpose for being here was to talk to Mr.Wayne, not venture into the mansion." He sighs with his own body, visibly exaggerating the movements.

"My father is deeply preoccupied already in another engagement, he won't even be here for hours. Would you prefer to stay here doing nothing or would you like to leave?" He sounds rather annoyed while looking off to his left and scowling more. I follow my eyes to a group of three who I recognize from the cafe, all of them are pointing and smirking. I being to feel more drained at the thought of them coming here and stand. "Your home, where to first?" He shoots up, grabbing my hand dragging me through the dense crowd of people.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Amazing, this would date back to the early years of feudal Japan, this is Greek! Oh! There's a Khopesh and a Canaan Sickel sword on this wall!"

Damian scoffs sounding more like a laugh than a mocking tone. "You can tell the difference." I give him a look, feeling offended.

"Of course I can, you mostly can tell by the markings on the blade." I turn my head back to the wall slowly pointing to the distinguishable pieces of evidence. "This one is older Hebrew, and here you can see small hieroglyphics depicting the sun. Plus the metals on each blade are very different." I tilt my head back to him, his face stays indifferent. "You knew that already didn't you?" He nods and walks again.

"You must really like history, seems like you could talk about it none stop." He calls back.

"Did you forget who my mother was?"

"I thought she specialized in the Islamic golden era."

"It didn't mean she didn't know the history of other peoples. My mother developed research of anything she could get her hands on." I pause for a minute. "What about you, where did you learn."

"I was taught by some of the best in the world, my mother made sure of it."

"I see." We talk more while examining the objects displayed, I had fun just listening to him explain how his father got some of them. Though the collection wasn't huge it still made me a bit happy to see the objects. My phone buzzes, and I quickly take it out of my pocket.

Molly: Hey where are you we need to get going!

Molly: Dad got too drunk and now he's crying about the world.

Molly: We will be outside, Be there.

"Sorry, I have to get going, I'll see you at school later!" I run through the hall and snag as many macarons as I can on the way out. Molly waves from the car opening the door so I slide in faster.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Sorcerer found. Name: Doctor Fate, Subject: host"

"Anyone else?"

"Database shows,... John Constantine, and Zatanna. All other information is unavailable."

"Gather what they have on the crows send probes if you must."

"Proceeding."

Nightmare stands by the window waiting for his queue. I pull a scale out from the box and open the window. I hand him the scale and he chews effectively destroying the small miracle. "Remember stay out of sight if someone spots you wipe it from their memory and if you see a crow take the fight to the in-between and go for the kill. You have a little bit of my power with you only use it when needed." He purrs, rubbing his head on my hand, then jumps. He vanishes. I sigh putting the device in the box marked with an X just in case and push it under my bed. I head out into my living room putting some things away and cleaning here and there. Proud of my work I turn on the TV and sprawl on my sofa with a bowl of popcorn. Reruns of Highlander play on one of my favorite channels, I smile at my luck and sing to the theme song.

*Thunk thunk thunk*

I jump at the sound, I hear the noise again and follow it to my kitchen bat in hand. I flip on the light and smack my face, a very wet robin scowls at me through the glass. Only then did I notice the rain, and I pray that Nightmare is staying safe. I open the door and let him in, he mutters a thank you while walking in dipping water on my floor.

"Not to be rude, but is there something you need?" He ignores me and continues dragging water on the floor to the living room.

"Robin?" I catch up to him, he pulls something out from his ear and stuffs it in his pocket.

"I would like to stay here for a little while"

"How long is a little while, will I need to pull out the bed in the couch?" He gives me a look.

"There's a bed in your couch?"

"Sometimes I want to watch TV while I do my homework, laying down here makes it easier." I go to the bathroom to pull out some towels.

"Where was this when I was heavily injured?"

"I'm sorry, but the fact that you were bleeding was more concerning. I also put new sheets on the bed and you broke a perfectly good window. There is still blood on my cushions, and you wanted me to place you on the bed?" grabbing the biggest fluffiest towel in the bunch walking back out to the living room.

"You still on about that?"

"It was expensive!" I hold out the towel, he takes it and places his yellow cape in my hand. I frown but head to the coat rack hanging the heavy fabric on the highest rung. I feel short noticing its length, I turn back to Robin who's sat down on the couch the large towel engulfing him completely minus his hair. The black strands stuck oddly to his face and drooped sadly, I almost laugh because he looks like a sad cat. Like Nightmare whenever I give him a bath, I think I have a picture of that somewhere. "Did you want something to drink or eat?"

"Why is it that every time I come here you offer something?"

"It's a hospitality thing I got living in Minnesota, it's just being nice. Besides, you work to protect people, don't you? It only makes sense that I offer you something, I doubt you get paid to do your job. I bet you have countless scars from just doing so, I can do my part and help you feel comfortable. Call it a form of respect."

"Tsk."

I stroll into the kitchen, "Well, I suppose I could give some soda, tea, or water after all you left plenty on the floor."

"What happened to respect?"

"Well, I have feelings to sir! Tossing my words aside like that, I shouldn't even feed you." I poke my head back out, I smile at his scowl while he in turn glares at me. "Now for once, I am out of tea but I have several cans of cherry coke and some popcorn and macarons from a party I went to earlier. How about that?"

"That's fine." I hum grabbing what I needed and plopped back down in my seat handing him the coke. I place the brightly colored macarons and some chips I found between us along with the popcorn. I let myself get absorbed into the Highlander again just as MacLeod beheads another immortal and gains his Quickening.

"What is this?" My Jaw drops while I look at him concerned.

"Just how uncultured are you." His face flushes and his face twists he opens his mouth but i stop him. "Say no more, I will be right back." I come out with my computer and pull up VUDU opening season one of the show. "Sit back buckaroo, now your in for the long haul. Now right now all you need to know is 'There can only be one." His face contorts in confusion, but gives in and moves closer.

"I'm not going to get in trouble with Batman am I." He smirks.

"Most likely."

"Dammit."

[cattles-bians]

exes au part 11

post directory

obsetress: i'm about to fully fall asleep but i have been thinking about exes au danvi and like the isabel of it all and dani dating a single mom and how just like

obsetress: vi is so protective of isabel and as much as she loves dani like

obsetress: she took SO LONG before introducing her and then like

obsetress: when they broke up dani left and dani wasnt in isabels life anymore and dani was so good for isabel and viola just feels so fuckin shitty and blames herself and

obsetress: but i'm also thinkin bout soft fluffy stuff too like how much dani loves isabel and how much vi loves watching isabel w dani and

em: hey hannah what the fuck

obsetress: isabel has a nightmare one night and goes to her mom's room and dani's there too and she just curls up between them

em: do you think when they finally reconnected dani was like hey um. does isabel remember me. would it be weird if

obsetress: FUCK

obsetress: this absolutely happens

em: viola is VERY apprehensive at first

obsetress: god yeah esp after getting so hurt by it but

obsetress: viola sure cannot say no to dani!

em: i love some dani with kids tho

em: maybe too soft but do u think for at least a couple years dani would like. send isabel a bday card

em: like dead air otherwise

em: hmm idk i am chewing that one over more

obsetress: god it's hard i think dani wants to but she doesn't

obsetress: i could see dani writing them and holding onto them

em: oh that’s even worse

obsetress: even tho she really doesnt think she'll ever talk to vi again

em: what a soft and depressing thought. thank u. i resent u.

obsetress: yeah it hurts!

obsetress: but then she does! and she gives them all to isabel when she's older maybe

em: hold on i’m gonna bawl

em: sometimes my parents will be like um. do u remember this person and i’m like uh i don’t remember people i worked w two years ago let alone

em: but i think isabel does

em: i will be thinking about this all afternoon bestie have a wonderful slumber

[em note: em yells in hannahs DMs while she's asleep dot png]

em: no um. mate im still furious about the isabel of it all wtf

em: thinking about um. like ok i dont wanna use isabel as a prop but this is certainly one of those times where

em: violas been hurt before and viola's hurt other people before because she's deeply troubled and i feel like that would be one of the first times she sorta. sure she licks her wounds and feels miserable for herself but its also like uh

em: really sobering to realise This Hurts Isabel Too

em: because yknow violas very gatekeep gaslight girlboss i think shes got a strong enough sense of self that nothing really shakes that. maybe even to a deluded degree. i dont think she goes to therapy because shes like wow im fucked up i gotta get help, she's more like

em: shes really driven by her love for isabel!! gestures WILDLY

em: realised this is an au where parents get therapy and dont pass their traumas onto their kids and i want OFF this WILD RIDE im so tired of discovering things about myself through the realm of fiction

obsetress: yeah same i kept thinking about it too alfkadlsfkjdasf

obsetress: i want to reply to every single line of the isabel thing but i'm not gonna do that so let me just say: YEAH

obsetress: like isabel is her cornerstone full stop everything comes down to isabel

em: dani's probably so nervous reconnecting w isabel again. absolutely spinning her lil wheels

em: they set up a lil date and time and dani's doing her gay nervous babble abt if isabel even remembers her or god forbid resents her n jamies like...

em: im pursing my lips as i draw a line on the whiteboard between jamie's whole childhood and isabels and shaking my head Goddamn It

em: jamie lets dani babble it out n pauses and reflects on what she's saying n then jamie's like. the fact ur nervous means u care. n kids are v good at picking up when ppl care. you'll be alright.

obsetress: god yeah this bit i can just. hear it

obsetress: it's so visceral

---

em: viola

obsetress: god my favorite taurus hedonist

[em note: hannah yells in em's DMs while em is asleep dot png]

obsetress: god fuck what was i thinking about isabel this morning like

obsetress: that's what i get for daydreamin between snoozes and not writing it down alas

obsetress: but just like how excited isabel is to see dani again when she does and also like, isabel and rebecca

obsetress: then i started thinking about

obsetress: rebecca and vi getting married and vi's always like i'm not gonna get married again it's bullshit and rebecca's like it's not for me but then they just

obsetress: like they live together and they share everything and rebecca looks out for isabel just as much and they get to a point and it's like

obsetress: oh. oh

obsetress: like they're both like it's the logical thing to do. it's logical and it's safe and we should have this extra layer of protection but also it's like

obsetress: they find themselves more and more excited a lil you know? and just thinking about how isabel's there and how excited isabel is and

obsetress: but god yeah what i was thinking about this morning like. one day vi has to tell isabel dani's not gonna be coming around anymore and like

obsetress: isabel doesn't really understand and she's so sad and then vi feels even shittier

obsetress: and she's like "we'll be okay. it's you and me, remember? moving mountains"

obsetress: "you me us, right?"

obsetress: the first time rebecca meets her she brings her a book as a gift and is like "this was one of my favorites" and

obsetress: OH I REMEMBERED

obsetress: so like when dani sees isabel again finally (and yknow as nervous as dani was vi was even more on edge because it's so inconsistent and is she gonna understand yknow? and the two of them just spiral––which is also another thing about the two of them in a relationship! i think they push each other down spirals)

obsetress: jamie's there too and dani's like "this is... this is, uh, jamie" and it's like you said jamie isabel parallels and so jamie's like a lil tender

obsetress: spoiler: isabel and jamie end up bonding the most

obsetress: jamie's like running around with isabel on her shoulders and then showing her all these plants and taking her to gardens and

obsetress: another tentative jamie vi alliance

em: isabel mikey hangout When

obsetress: isabel mikey hangout!

obsetress: they're hanging with isabel and she and jamie have a very spirited discussion where isabel's like "i wanna be a princess" and dani's like "why not a knight?" and jamie's like "why not opt out of the feudalistic hierarchy entirely and ditch the kingdom for the high seas?" and convinces isabel to go full pirate

obsetress: and then isabel kinda passes out with her head in jamie's lap and jamie's just kinda idly playing with her hair (vi is already like "am i... attracted to jamie in this moment?")

obsetress: and jamie's like "y'know, i should bring mikey round next time isabel's here" and viola's like "......who?" and jamie's like "my little brother? mikey?" and viola's like "right.... right"

obsetress: cut to later, when dani and jamie have retired to vi and becca's guest room: "since when does jamie have a little brother?" "she always has, babe"

em: kinda obsessed w like. violas love for isabel means her wires get crossed when the surly gardener is Good With Kids

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: mikey and isabel immediately hit it off i think

obsetress: a bit of an odd couple because i think isabel is definitely, like, her mother's daughter and mikey is............. mikey

obsetress: but i think they meet in the middle and help each other grow and play pirates together

em: viola is like. of course mikey and isabel will get along. isabel is wonderful. but jamie is quietly Sweating about the whole thing

em: so damvibecca are having their afternoon tea and their little cakes and jamie is Quietly sweating and she’s like ‘quiet is good, right? like they’re not tryna k-‘ and then there’s the sound of two 8 year olds (idk how old they are tbh) YELLING as they chase each other down the hall w wrapping paper tubes

obsetress: nervous babbling dani x quietly sweating jamie, an otp

em: isabel has gotten into the make up n given them both black eyes n scars and moustaches n everyone’s like oh no how’s viola gonna feel about this but viola is DELIGHTED

obsetress: dani's like "chill you all she's gonna––" and then viola is getting up and asking them to do her face too

em: made a parrot outta a sock and newspaper

obsetress: viola playing pirates w isabel and mikey

em: kids w their endless creativity n absolute disregard for personal property is truly a thing of dreams

obsetress: mikey gives her a paper tube and she disarms isabel, takes hers, and offers it very seriously to jamie

em: cuteeee

obsetress: rebecca's giving dani a look and dani is completely unfazed and reaching for another tea cake

em: absolutely unflappable dani clayton

em: dani and rebecca sharing a Look like hey have you ever seen her this gleeful

obsetress: there is something very tasty about jamie taylor having a direct hand in making viola so gleeful

em: takes a village!

obsetress: when viola's two big loves are sitting five feet away from them both

em: everyone changes everyone for the better

em: fucken soft ass chat over here

obsetress: everyone changes everyone for the better

obsetress: soft as hell

em: thesis statement everyone likes each other so much (jamie pretends she doesn’t)

obsetress: (jamie pretends she doesn't) (jamie might like everyone the most)

obsetress: viola registers mikey for isabel's school n pays full tuition

em: oh my god

obsetress: jamie is horrified and refuses to accept it and viola waves a hand and is like "too late, deposit's non-refundable"

em: (they carpool)

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: oh god and like

obsetress: flora and miles go there too

obsetress: full circle complete

em: broke: highschool au woke: guardians of primary schoolers au

obsetress: dani jamie in bed jamie's like "you don't...... think it's weird?" "hmm?" "mikey going to.... school with our boss' kids?" "why would that be weird" "i dunno" "he also goes to school with my ex's kid" "he's best friends with your ex's kid" "and that's not weird, is it?" (grumbles) "not anymore" "so why would this be?"

em: jamie’s ribbing mikey for his silly tie and straw hat but she teaches him how to tie a tie and also she keeps crying for some reason???

obsetress: oh fuck

em: mikey: can’t i just get a fake tie >:/

jamie: no because when u have a real tie you can leave it untied a little as an act of rebellion

obsetress: god it's jamie crying for me

em: i love that big baby

obsetress: so much!

em: jamies like idk what’s gotten into me i never cry n danis like. raises one eye brow and mentally checks off all the times jamie has absolutely bawled watching a movie

em: not even a sad movie

em: dani plays along

em: maybe ur getting soft in ur old age jamie

obsetress: jamie i cry three four times a day five if i'm being honest taylor

em: thinking about their weekly weekend lunch w damvibecca and hannah and owen and miles and flora and

obsetress: dfjsldkfjslfslfj

obsetress: god big found family

obsetress: you know viola doesn't like

obsetress: dani and jamie respectfully toe around whatever the fuck owen and hannah have going on but viola just does not suffer it. she's so blunt to them

em: big viola grin and all ‘owen, hannah, i assume you will be each other’s dates?’ (owen chokes on his tiny egg sandwich)

em: hannah grose is serene and unreadable as she dabs a bit off yolk off owens moustache

em: maybe even a bit pleased

obsetress: everyone is always so tense when viola and hannah get together because neither of them take shit yknow

obsetress: and everyone's like "which way is this gonna go"

em: god. peak snarky broads

obsetress: but usually they end up good. two apex predators where one is a lil vicious but the other is so confident in its status that it just chills

em: they have the Best gossip

obsetress: would love to sit in and listen as they drink tea and gossip tbh

em: viola presses owen on hannah and he goes red and viola presses hannah on owen and she does a little wouldnt-you-like-to-know into her tea

em: viola nee willoughby and hannah grose friendship is. truly something i never knew i needed until now

em: they’re both just that lil bit older than the rest of the gang too

obsetress: an important coalition

obsetress: hannah grose! hannah looking out for rebecca and that's the couple times she gets a lil testy w vi

obsetress: mikey and isabel besties but flora and mikey get along really well and isabel and miles do too i think

em: the sheer chaos of a taylor-lloyd-windgrave story time

obsetress: LDKFjKLSDJF HELP

obsetress: taylor lloyd wingrave story time

obsetress: jamie suddenly very invested in story time

obsetress: dani's like "i know this is the first time you've actually cared about story time, babe, so let me give you some pointers"

em: i was just in my head thinking fondly about like. jamie is a drop out and plays a lil dumb sometimes for fun but also prolly reads a lot especially to mikey and now i’m like. wait i’m talking to Ms Floras Two Moms herself

em: idk if i had that headcanon before i read she taught me a lesson alright but yknow what! doesn’t matter it’s a beautiful one

obsetress: thank youuuu i love it a lot

obsetress: jamie big reader is generally one of my fave headcanons tbh i'm glad it seems to be widely accepted. can't even explain why it's just nice

em: sometimes i will talk 2 ppl about my passionate drop out jamie taylor belief n then they’re like but she’s smart (it’s only happened a couple times hahsj) and i’m like these aren’t mutually exclusive!! this is my very biased experience but my friends who do manual labor for a living seem to read so much more than my friends who don’t

em: your brain wants to chew over things while the hands are workin i reckon

obsetress: yes yes yes yes yes

obsetress: i think that's also like (sighs heavily)

obsetress: symptomatic of hegemonic perceptions of the working class

em: i love when u sigh heavily it’s always a fun take

obsetress: i think jamie is v clever and reflective and like if there's one thing i've learned getting older it's

obsetress: smart doesn't matter i think the most insightful most thoughtful people are the most reflective ones

obsetress: like none of it fuckin matters just be a nice person

[porkchop-ao3]

A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 62)

Plans

Sorry for the delay but better late than never! This is a pretty long chapter so hopefully that makes up for it. Warning for use and mention of alcohol abuse. 

Tagging @emily-strange and @actuallyhansolo ❤

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

-

The night it all fell to shit was a weird one. It was like we were hanging in some kind of dysfunctional family limbo. Dutch left the tent where Micah was still fighting to stay alive against all the odds, and he glared at our little group of black sheep from across the camp. We'd grown in numbers, though, even if we weren't all sitting together in a posse, people were with us in spirit. Kieran and Mary-Beth had come over to see how Arthur was doing, and to make it very clear that they were firmly with us; they didn't trust Micah, never had and never would. They couldn't comprehend how Dutch was acting the way he was. 

Lenny showed his support not through words, but by silently stopping by and patting Arthur on the shoulder, nodding at him once. Karen was blind drunk but she yelled at Dutch's closed tent, chanting the words 'snake' and 'die' before Bill dragged her away and deposited her on her bed roll. In fact, Bill and Javier looked like they were the only ones who had outright sided with Dutch, and I wasn't sure if they actually believed that Arthur and the rest of us were traitors, or if they were just siding with him out of blind loyalty. Javier kept looking over at us, something like regret and confusion in his eyes but whatever he was feeling obviously wasn't strong enough to have him leave Dutch's side. Bill, though… Bill was just full of contempt and whatever he believed, it certainly wasn't any conclusion he'd drawn himself. 

Everyone else was just tiptoeing around, not seeming to firmly align themselves with anyone. These were the people who openly sympathised with Arthur and made it clear they didn't believe that any of us were the rat, but also joined Dutch at the table outside his tent where he was smoking a cigar – looking dark and pensive, miles away and stewing within a thick black cloud – to offer him similar words of comfort. The likes of Reverend Swanson, Pearson and Tilly. Even Miss Grimshaw, who seemed a little conflicted about the time she poured into nursing Micah, she didn't condemn either side. She just marched around with a perpetual sad frown, reeling at the way the family she'd tried so hard to keep moving crumbled around her. 

I felt terrible. But it could all have been avoided if Dutch hadn't been so twisted by Micah. If he'd just listened to the people that mattered the most, his 'sons'. But it seemed he'd picked his side. Though I did wonder what would happen if… or when Micah succumbed to his injury. 

"I think we should go," Arthur murmured to me quietly, as he pushed his stew around his plate. It was odd eating dinner at such a time, but there was still plenty of stew left in Pearson's pot and nobody wanted to let his hard work go to waste. Limbo. A weird feeling of normality caked in tension. Like when a marriage is breaking down but both parties are still trying to plod along, going through the motions. 

I looked up at him immediately from where I sat on the bed next to him. "Now?"

Arthur met my eyes. "Well, there's nothing left here," he said. I pondered his words. It was funny. For weeks and weeks I'd longed to hear him say that, to get a concrete agreement that we were to leave and get away together. But now that it was served to me on a platter, I felt so odd.

"You don't want to see if Micah pulls through?" I questioned. 

"I… I'm with Charles. I don't think he'll pull through," he breathed, looking back down at the plate.

"No, but," I began, not knowing where I was going. 

"You don't want to leave?" His question wasn't judgemental or annoyed. 

"Yes, I do. This just feels so surreal. So sudden. It almost feels like it'd be wrong to just pack up and leave after this has happened, like we should stay and try and sort it out somehow. Though I don't know how…"

"I know what you mean. But I'm worried about you, Micah pulled a gun on you. And I don't know what's in any of these fools' heads, there's no telling if someone's gonna try and do the same thing. And I don't know if I want to stick around and save anything that almost took you away from me, or condoned it."

I paused for a while, then finally nodded.

"Just eat up," he whispered, nodding back at me with a brooding look in his eye. "We'll start packing–"

His head jerked as something caught his eye. I followed his gaze and spotted Dutch getting up. My heart thumped painfully when for a moment I thought he was going to come over, but instead made a beeline for the horses, not looking anywhere but ahead. Without saying a word to anyone, he climbed up onto his Arabian and left. Just left. Everyone stared off in surprise, not really knowing what to say about it.

"Where's he going?" I breathed.

"I have no idea," he mused. 

"Should… should we go after him, try and talk?" I asked, meeting Arthur's eyes. He looked into mine for a while and I could see him thinking, coming to some sort of silent conclusion that made his expression sour before shaking his head sharply. 

"I don't think I wanna talk," he told me bluntly and I couldn't help but be shocked. 

"You don't even want to try? Not that I think you have an obligation to," I said softly and Arthur shrugged his shoulders with an attitude I'd never seen in him before then.

"I'm done. And I mean it. I had plenty of doubts about him before this, and now I just can't see a way of fixing things. He took Micah's word over mine. He treated you like the root cause of all our problems and he couldn't care less that Micah almost shot you," he ranted, getting progressively more pissed off. 

I looked away and thought very hard about what to say next. I was sorely tempted to say fuck it, and agree to run away with him right then and there. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. Not leaving the likes of Mary-Beth, Lenny, Abigail and Jack all here to suffer the consequences of whatever Dutch planned. Some people had made their mind up, but others… It was clear to me that they saw security in Dutch that they didn't have elsewhere. They were stuck.

"What if we ask around, and leave as a group with whoever wants to come?" I suggested. It wasn't the first time I'd said something like it, but this time felt different, like it was actually reasonable. That it actually might work. 

"And then what?" He asked me. 

"We'd take our things and go, find somewhere else to camp for a while, and then figure things out when we're not sitting in a camp full of people who might just want us dead," I said bluntly. His lips parted, his eyes bored into mine. The stare he gave was intense, and made me feel as though this was a turning point, a moment with huge gravitas and consequence. 

"I think… I think that'd be our best option," he quietly agreed. "But what will we do about money, Dutch has–" he stopped, remembering something, eyes casting across the camp, settling on the Marstons’ tent. "Hold on a second." 

Arthur got up, depositing his plate on the table by his bed before crossing over towards the tent. He called out for Abigail and John, and was ushered inside. I sat and waited, frowning to myself just slightly, pondering his sudden actions. 

Javier strolled past my eyeline, between Arthur's tent and the Marstons’. Without giving it much thought, I called to him. He paused, casting his gaze to me almost in surprise. He stood there for a few seconds, cigarette hanging from between his fingers, a dusting of ash floating down as the stub burnt away with his inaction. He looked at me expectantly, though he moved no closer. 

"Javier," I sighed sadly, shaking my head, "surely you don't trust a word Micah says. How could you? You know exactly what he's like–-"

"I don't," he told me bluntly. "I think he's full of crap," he shrugged his shoulders.

"So why are you acting like Arthur and John and the rest of us are the villains?"

"I… I don't… think that," he stammered, losing some of his conviction, speaking very hesitantly. "This situation, muñequita… this is messed up. But all I know is that you guys aren't being loyal to Dutch. And that matters to me."

"Why Dutch? Why should we be blind-loyal to Dutch when he doesn't care about us?" I frowned deeply, aggravated by his expectancy. 

"He cares. Dutch always cares."

"He's pouring all our resources into saving a man who was about to shoot me in the face. He doesn't give a rat's ass about me, or Arthur. Because if I was killed in this camp, you know it would destroy him, the guilt he would feel–" I shook my head abruptly. "Dutch has never liked me. And that's fine, I don't care, but Arthur and I– we love each other. We're in this for the long haul. But Dutch doesn't want to see Arthur happy."

"He doesn't wanna lose Arthur to you. And that's exactly what's happened; Arthur wants to leave this gang to be with you, and you think Dutch should be perfectly happy about that?"

"If he saw Arthur as a son rather than a well trained gun, an asset to his criminal gang, then yes. He should be perfectly happy about him wanting to get out of this dangerous world and settle down," I answered bluntly, shrugging my shoulders and looking at him like I couldn't for a moment understand why he didn't see it.

"Criminal gang? That's the way you see us all?" He cocked his brow, finally taking a number of steps towards me. 

"Not at the start. At the start you were all so hopeful and free. Now you're a bunch of penned in animals, lashing out and doing anything and everything to survive with no thought to anyone but yourselves. And this ain't an insult, though you'll surely take it as such. This is what Dutch's decision-making has done," I answered, keeping my eyes on his and not backing down. Javier was good. I knew he was. He was just being led into the fire by a smooth-talking egoist. 

Javier was quiet for some time, twitching a little, his jaw clenched tight. He did not want to listen. 

"Dutch saved me. He gave me hope when I had nothing, put food in my belly, shelter over my head, safety. Without him, I would not be the man I am today. I may not even be alive," he shrugged cluelessly, "and you want me to abandon him?"

"I don't want you to do anything," I sighed, finally breaking eye contact. "This is your decision to make."

"Listen, I–" he began, voice softening. "I always liked you. When Micah told us today about you and the Pinkertons, sure, I had my doubts about you. Now, I… I don't believe you're working against us. You have no motive, especially since you and Arthur…" he trailed off, sighing. 

I looked up at him again, waiting for him to make his point, though he took his time.

"But I cannot betray Dutch. I can't leave him, not now, not when he is the reason we're all still alive."

I almost told him that he was also the reason why we had to run so fast, always pushing his luck, killing Cornwall, Bronte, robbing banks in huge cities, inserting himself into a fight that wasn't ours with Eagle Flies and making things worse for them. Pissing people off left and right and acting as the ringmaster for the world's deadliest circus. 

“Where did Dutch go, anyway?” I asked, instead.

“Said he needed to clear his head. He’s really hurt, you know,” he told me and I was so close to rolling my eyes.

"He had his chance to listen to us but–” I began, then trailed off, “what's the use? I can't change your mind, Javier. I just hope things turn out right for you," I sighed. 

His lips parted, but he didn't know what to say. Eventually, he dropped his wasted cigarette and then carried on walking.

Arthur came out of the Marstons’ tent just a moment later, an edgy, agitated but somehow hopeful look about him. He came to me, immediately beginning to gather his things from around the tent, putting them away in his chest. I watched him with a confused frown, lips hanging open, about to ask him what was happening when he told me anyway. 

"We're going. Us, with those three," he told me very quietly, but in a rushed, urgent tone of voice. 

"Now?" I got up abruptly. 

"Yes. We gotta move while… while Dutch's gone. It'll be easier," he told me, "maybe some folk'll come with us. Would you do me a favour, princess?"

"Of course, anything," I blinked at him, stunned. 

"While I'm packing up, you go out there and you… you talk to anyone who's on our side, okay? You see if they want out. And you tell 'em to pack up."

"Wait, how is this gonna work?" 

"Abigail–" he began, realising he was at full volume before dialling it down, "Abigail knows where all our money is. She's got a key, she stole it while everyone was distracted, when Micah was telling his pack of lies about you. She felt like things was gonna blow up, and she was right. We got a key to all the money, every penny we been putting away for safekeeping," he rose up and closed the space between us. He cupped my face, his eyes were bright and alive, truly, for the first time I'd seen in a while. 

"So, what, are we gonna take it?" I balked in a hiss of a whisper. 

"No, not… not all of it. But we'll take our share," he told me, then pressed his lips to mine briefly, but firmly, "we deserve some of that money, it's ours. It's ours, John's, Charles'..." He trailed off, he sounded like he was trying to reassure himself more than me.

"Damn right we deserve it," I encouraged, nodding my head, "hell, I bet you put most of it in there."

"We're just gonna take enough for us, just what's fair. We ain't gonna screw the rest of 'em over. We… we…" he stammered, his eyes dropping to my mouth. I could see the light dim from his eyes and I could feel the guilt he was experiencing like it was seeping from his pores.

"Arthur, it's okay. What we're doing is okay," I whispered to him, wrapping my arms around him and hugging him tight, "Dutch ain't left us many options. It's clear his mind's made up and he don't deserve a moment more of your time. Taking a little money from the communal pot… that's the least you deserve. All them years; he's lucky this is all you're doing."

"What if he comes after us?"

"Then I'll kill the bastard myself," I said through clenched teeth. "He ain't ruining another moment. This is a good thing, baby, this is… this is the moment. The right time, what we've been waiting for."

"You're right," he breathed, turning his head towards my hair and inhaling my scent. 

"Come on. Keep packing, I'll go speak to the others," I said. 

"Abigail's gonna sneak in and get the money. She knows where it is, it's in that cave," he told me so quietly that even I struggled to hear. I pulled away from his embrace and nodded. I kissed him once more, then exited the tent. 

I scanned the whole camp, my eyes landing on Charles where he was on guard duty. It seemed so strange, again, that the menial jobs people did day to day were still being carried out. I guessed that people were just trying to cling on to normality. I sped over to him first, catching his attention when I was a few places away, he turned to look at me and grew tense at the urgency in my gait. 

"Charles," I breathed, reaching him and touching his arm, glancing around once before continuing, "Arthur and I; we're getting out of here. The Marston's too. I ain't asking you to pick a side, I will never judge you for your decision, but–"

"Of course I'll come. You needn't ask," he told me in his no nonsense tone, tilting his head up slightly in a small display of pride and loyalty. A smile broke across my face. 

"Well then," I breathed with a laugh, "I suggest you gather your things. We ain't lingering."

"Of course," he nodded.

"And will you tell Sadie? Give her the same option to get out of here? Anyone who you think might wanna come," I requested and he nodded again.

"So this is really happening? We're splitting the gang?" 

"What gang?" I grunted, turning and looking at the tattered ashes of what was left. Charles said nothing, but I knew that he saw it too. He patted my shoulder twice, and then headed off. 

Of the gang members left, there were few I wanted to ask. Some were far too loyal to Dutch; obviously the likes of Javier and Bill, others I just weren't close to. I never spoke to Strauss or Reverend Swanson; even Uncle, I didn't know any of them well enough to entertain the idea of asking. I figured Arthur would ask those sorts of people if he felt it was the right thing to do. It interested me to see that some people were already packing, though I knew they hadn't been asked yet. I assumed it was a case of fleeing the sinking ship. Pearson was one of those people, Trelawny – a man who seemed to come and go like the rain – was another. Mary-Beth was too, though she was doing it kind of slowly and subtly as if she didn't want people to notice that was what she was doing. Kieran helped her. 

I made my way over to the girls' wagon, where Karen slept, Tilly woefully held her head in her hands, and Mary-Beth quietly folded away clothes and trinkets into a case around the side.

"Ladies, may I… could I speak with you?" I asked, watching as Karen groggily lifted her head, and Tilly looked up. Mary-Beth hummed her acknowledgement but didn't stop what she was doing. 

"Arthur and I think it's best we move along, given the circumstances," I began softly, timidly. Tilly gave a humourless laugh. 

"You think?" She queried. It wasn't mean-spirited. It was just tired and sad and disappointed. She was taking it hard. 

"And we figured we'd ask folk if they wanna come too. The Marstons think it's a good idea too. I don't want this to seem like I'm asking y'all to pick a side, but I want to give you an option for if… if you don't wanna stay here no more. You ain't stuck," I continued, meeting Mary-Beth's eyes. Her lips parted and she was stunned, hesitant.

Karen grunted and slumped back down on her bedroll, ignoring the suggestion for the most part. I looked at Tilly. She stared off distantly, her mouth slightly pursed. I waited for her to say something, half expecting some anger or upset similar to that of Javier's, I thought she was just as loyal to Dutch as he was.

"I'm not going with you. But I ain't sticking around here neither," she told me, striking me full of surprise. "Things just went too far today, people pointing guns at each other, accusing everyone of everything, this ain't no place for nobody. Listen, I'm glad you have a way out of here. And I'm glad that that little boy does too," she pushed herself to her feet and pointed in the direction of the Marstons' tent. "But I… I don't think I want any part of this no more."

I nodded slowly. "I understand. Tilly, all I want is for people to do the right thing for themselves. And I want them to be safe. If you think leaving all of this behind is the right thing for you, then I'm fully behind you. You've been kind to me, just like everybody else. I appreciate the time I've known you," I told her carefully. She fidgeted a little on her feet, but nodded. 

"Thank you, I– I wish nothin' but the best for you and Arthur," she told me, then with a final nod she disappeared around the wagon. I presumed she was gathering her things. 

"I knew it," Karen slurred, her cheek pressed into the ground. "I knew she was outta here. Jus' like you, and jus' like Mary-Beth," she added. I couldn't help but frown a little, and Mary-Beth met my eyes, but Karen chuckled drunkenly. "I don't blame a single one of you. Get out before this thing kills you." 

"What'll you do, Karen?" I asked, sitting down beside her. She lifted herself up, propped up on her elbows. 

"Me? Don't worry 'bout me. I got places I can go," she told me, a dizzy smile on her face. She didn't seem to be bogged down by the gravity of the situation. The booze was to thank for that, of course. 

"Like where?"

"I don' know. Places. I'll be fine." 

"I'm worried about you," I admitted, remembering how my mother got when she drank too much. The scene before me looked too familiar for comfort.

"Y'all keep saying that. Stop it. Let me live my life," she muttered. I knew from experience there was no reasoning with a person in this state. No way to make them realise their self destruction. 

"You're welcome to come with us, Karen, if you wanna get out of here," I assured her, patting her shoulder.

"I'm with Tilly," she muttered, "this whole thing's a mess and you can run off as a group but you'll fall apart too. Ain't nothing you can do. Nothin' ever lasts," she cried out bitterly, her face screwed up in a wince that was full of anger and pain and I thought of Sean. I thought of the fact that she was clearly close to him and I thought of how things began to fall apart along with his death. I was choked up. I cleared my throat and brushed a loose ringlet from Karen's face and she peered up at me like she didn't know how to respond. 

"I'm so sorry, Karen," I whispered. 

"For what, what'chu done?" She asked. I simply shook my head. 

"I'm sorry that things have fallen apart," I added.

"Can't be helped," she sighed, reaching up and squeezing my hand. I was never particularly close to Karen, so the act warmed my heart. 

"Um, may I speak with you?" Mary-Beth squeaked like a mouse above us, gingerly edging towards me and looking at me with concerned, arched brows. 

"Of course," I nodded, then rose to my feet after giving Karen's hand a squeeze back. I followed Mary-Beth away from listening ears until she turned around and stood before me, fiddling with her fingers. 

"I'm so sorry, but I can't come with you," she blurted out, and I already began to shake my head, holding my hands out reassuringly, but she continued anyway, "you know Kieran and I? We– I promised him–"

"Mary-Beth, it's okay. I ain't asking anyone in a bid to make 'em feel like they gotta. You have your own plans. I'm glad," I smiled at her. 

"You sure? It's not that I don't trust you and Arthur and the others to keep everyone safe, it's just…" she trailed off and sighed, looking across the camp to where Kieran was. I put my hand on her shoulder.

"I know. You go and be with him. I know how you're feeling; take your chance to get away and build your life together while you still can," I told her, then opened my arms and let her decide if she wanted to hug me. She did. She closed the gap between us and squeezed me tight, rubbing my shoulders. 

I felt like I wanted to cry. Why did this feel like a goodbye? More than just a goodbye for now, but a permanent one? I swallowed back the sudden wave of emotion I felt and patted her back a couple times before we parted. She offered me a small smile and took my hands in hers. 

"I hope you build the prettiest of lives. We all deserve a little happiness, don't you think?" She told me quietly, and I nodded in agreement. 

"Yeah, I think we do," I whispered. She squeezed my hands, then headed back towards the wagon to continue her packing. 

I exhaled and turned around to look at the state the camp was left in. It was full of people packing up; a scene that wasn't by any means new or different, it'd happened time and time again already. But the fact that people were packing for themselves this time… there was no sense of community, or togetherness. It felt like an ending. A dissolving of a family that once was so strong; it was heartbreaking, but somehow inevitable. Once there was differing ideas and loyalties pulled in different directions, things would change. And they changed in the most destructive of ways; with Micah laying shivering and sweating and close to death, with Dutch running off alone and abandoning the camp for the first time ever, with the majority of people deciding that it was too late to salvage anything. Deterioration until there was nothing but a scattered collection of parts left to make the best of things. 

All because of Micah Bell.

[itsjustmyfantasyroom]

Fresh start part 9

Loved writing this part. It is long, but worth it.

Warning: This does talk about reader being kid napped. 

It had been a few weeks since that night out after the win. Everything just seemed to have fallen into place. You both knew the demands of your jobs but you still made it work, you both knew soon you would have to tell Liv, it was getting harder and harder to hide it. If he was still at the office when you finished, you would swing by with dinner, or he would come past your place on his way home for a cuddle. On weekends he took you out on the most romantic dates. Granted most of those times lead to heavily making out and extremely heavy petting, but you guys were taking things slow, enjoying each other. You both felt so deeply about each other you wanted to make it work.

****

You had just finished an afternoon shift with Nick on Friday. You were slowly getting used to afternoon and night shifts at SVU. He was going to Amanda's and you were headed to Rafael's for the weekend, secretly hoping this was the weekend you guys would take everything to the next level, you would have too soon, things were getting too intense and it was getting hard for you both to stop when it got to that point.

8.05 pm-You: Just finished my Rafi! On my way to get a taxi! Can't wait to see you xx

8.09 pm- Rafael: OK mi Hermosa, see you soon! Promise this weekend won't disappoint xx

You stood outside the priciest for a few minutes waiting for a taxi to drive past. But it wasn’t unusual that there were no taxis this time of night on a Friday. You started to walk up to the next block which met a cross street hoping for better luck. “Not many people around” you thought to yourself as you walked. Your mind was filled with happy thoughts, about what the weekend may hold and butterflies flying around your tummy just thinking about it. Rafael treated you so well, sometimes you wondered if you really deserved him after all. You had seen a completely different side to him, a side you were falling in love with, and a side that was just for you.

You had just about walked past the ally and about to step up on the side walk, when you felt an arm grab you around your middle from the back, pinning your arms to your side and before you could scream, cold metal to your temple.

"A pretty little Detective like you shouldn't be walking around by herself this time of night. Didn't Benson teach her squad better?" You were frozen in place not knowing what to do. 

"Sweetheart, you’re going to come with me now on a little adventure, and if you scream I'm going to put a bullet in that pretty little head of yours".

 Tears starting rolling down your face. The man, who you hadn't seen his face yet, pushed you towards a car parked down a bit in the ally, still holding the gun to your head. He opened the back door and threw you in on the back seat. It was so dark you couldn't see his face; he got rope and tied your hands to the door so you were forced to lay down across the seat. He grabbed your bag, opened it, pulled out your phone, threw it on the ground smashing it and then stomped it with the heel of his foot. He then pulled out your wallet, pulled out the cash and handy card and then threw the empty wallet and your bag with your badge in it to the side. He got in the driver's side and started to drive.

Finally through the tears and the street lights, you managed to get a look at the guys face in the review mirror. You almost passed out in shock....William Lewis...... how was he out of jail? What was he doing with you?

You didn't know much about what happened between him and Liv. Only what you had seen and read, it was before your time at SVU and never came up in conversation, so you never asked.

“Don’t worry yourself Detective, as long as Benson does what she is told, you'll be fine, and you’ll get to see that ADA boyfriend of yours again."

----

Rafael was so excited for the weekend he had planned. A Romantic dinner and theatre show tomorrow night, breakfasts in bed, and hopefully something more. He was finding it hard to control himself, and he knew you were too, but he didn’t want to ruin it. He was enjoying himself with you and was starting to fall hard for you, but it was too soon to say anything like that just yet. You understood him; you liked him the way he was. You knew his fears about relationships after everything that had happened to him in the past, always being pushed aside for someone else or just there for a root and boot. He knew and understood your fears as well, your last relationship really took a lot out of you. You were different and he knew that. He was worried about the age difference, you weren't. He was worried you might meet someone younger and leave him. But you reassured him in ways he had never been before. He just wanted to be with you whenever he could. He looked at his phone, 9 pm and you still weren't there. Even on busy nights, it never took this long to get to his place.

9.01-Rafael: Where are you Hermosa?

10 minutes later, still no reply. That's odd he thought, but he let it go for 10 more minutes, maybe there was traffic or your phone battery had died. He picked up his phone and called, straight to voice mail. This was strange; he had never heard your voice mail before, you always answered.

 9.30 with another text sent and couple more calls, still nothing, straight to voice mail. He looked through his phone, he didn't want to call Liv, she didn't know about you guys yet and he didn't want to put his foot in it just in case your phone battery had died. He kept looking through his contacts and came to Nick’s. He didn’t get along with your partner at all, not since the Alex case, but he needed to know you were safe and he knew Nick did care about you. You guys had this weird bond. He dialled the number, it rang out and went to voice mail so he called again, after 4 rings Nick answered;

"Barba, it's Friday night, I'm off duty"

"Have you heard from Y/N? She messaged me saying she was on her way, she still isn't here, I have messaged and called her, just goes to voice mail."

“She left when I did, maybe her phone has died, relax Barba" and he hung up.

10.....10.10......10.20.....10.30.......10.40

Call after call, message after message, you still weren't there and still going to voice mail! He went into his contacts and called Liv

"Barba, everything ok?"

"Uh....Y/N was meant to be here around 8.30, she still isn't, she isn't answering messages and it's going to voice mail. Something has happened, I'm worried."

"Oh, OK! Let me try and I'll call you back."

Liv hung up and tried to call you, straight to voice mail. This wasn't like you, even on weekends and early hours of the morning you answered your phone, this was the first time she even heard your voice mail.

Liv called Barba back,

 " Meet me at the predict."

Liv called Fin on the way and filled him in and asked him to come in.

Rafael rushed down into the bullpen straight into Liv's office. Fin was on the phone to TARU, who was tracing your phone. Liv walked in behind him and put her hand on his shoulder;

 "It’s going to be OK" he huffed back at her frowning.

Fin got off the phone, "Her cell phone last pinged from the ally at the end of the block, let's check it out."

The 3 of them walked out of the building down to the ally, Fin and Liv had a police torch each, they knew how dark that ally was at night. They turned them on as they rounded the corner into it.

"Oh No" said Liv, she looked down and seen your smashed phone, Rafael almost threw up. “Over here" yelled Fin, there was your bag, badge and empty wallet. Rafael walked over to a wall and lent on it so he had support in case he fainted. Next minute Liv's phone was ringing via video from an Unknown number. Fin put the torch up to her face for light and she answered,

"Hello Olivia, I've missed you!" It was Lewis, "I ‘am disappointed in you Olivia, don't you teach your new pretty detectives night street skills?" He flipped the camera around to you in the back seat with your hands bound to the door, and your mouth ducked tapped. Your eyes were red and puffy from crying. Fin caught Liv as she lost her balance like she had all the air knocked out of her; tears came to Rafael’s eyes.

"Do as I say Olivia, or she will enjoy me as much as you did." And he hung up.

Fin grabbed his phone out of his pocket and dialled Amanda, “You and Nick need to get the station now, Lewis has Y/N".

-----

Nick and Amanda ran into the station, into Liv’s office,

"What do you mean Lewis has Y/N? He's been locked up." Said Nick

"He escaped." Said Liv, "he tricked everyone and got away. He grabbed Y/N as she walked down the block to get a taxi, we have the footage. He held a gun to her head. We found her phone smashed; he took her money and handy card with them, and left the empty wallet, her badge and bag in the ally. We have a trace on the card, but no hits yet. He called while we were in the ally, he has her tied up to the car door and mouth ducked tapped, he used a burner cell that can’t be traced and we are still trying to work out what car he is driving"

Rafael was sitting on Liv's couch with his head in his hands trying to hold it together as much as he could, Nick started to walk towards him.

“I’m sorry Barba, I should have taken you more seriously", Rafael raised his hand to stop Nick from talking,  

“You have the be the worst person to be partnered with in the whole of the NYPD! WHY DIDN'T YOU DRIVE HER TO ME? Instead of letting her catch a cab" he yelled, Nick walked out before he lost his cool.

Liv followed him out, Amanda was close behind,                                             “You two need to get to the prison now and find out how the hell this happened." Nick and Amanda both walked out headed to where Lewis escaped from.

Liv walked back into her office to Fin and Rafael, her phone buzzed with a new message from an Unknown number. It was a video, Liv gasped, Fin and Rafael rushed up to her side. It was a video of you, you looked like a mess;

 “Liv, William wants me to tell you; you know what you have to do, tell the truth" You said through tears. “William said you have 48 hrs" you sobbed. “Tell....tell Rafael, I love him." 

And the video ended! Fin and Liv both looked at Rafael with their mouths opened and they seen he had tears rushing down his face. 

****

The next 48 hours was a blur, Lewis moved you around so much and kept giving you vodka, you didn't even know where you were. Liv had made a live confession that what she said during the trail was false and she was sorry for what she did to Lewis. Liv finally had enough when Lewis sent her a photo of you being hung up on a metal frame by your hands at what looked like a quarry.

She didn’t have to the heart to show Barba, he was already a mess as it was, but she knew you were still alive, which was the main thing for now. Liv had a soft spot for you, you reminded her of her young self. She was so glad she had you on the team, and you knew how to keep Nick in line and how to handle Barba at the best of times. She couldn’t bear to see what happened to her, happen to you now you and Barba were a thing. What happened to her, cost her, her relationship. She was older and married to the job, you were young with your whole career ahead of you and had a man that she knew adored you by the way he reacted to the video. She couldn’t let this affect your future like it had hers.  She did what he wanted and came to him when he told her too.

 He brought her into the room where you were tied up, Liv rushed over to you and put her hands on your cheeks and kissed your forehead. 

“It’s going to be ok Y/N, I’m here now Sweetie”, before he pushed her away from you and tired her to the table in the corner of the room.

 Nick, Amanda and Fin knew something was wrong when Liv didn't turn up the next day and she wasn’t answering her phone. They traced her phone and the GPS last pinged at the quarry.

What felt like forever was finally over, you remember Liv and Lewis fighting, and click sounds back and forth, you had been forced fed vodka and you were that dehydrated everything was blurry like a dream. Your eyes shut most of the time, falling in and out of sleep and your whole body ached from being tied this way for far too long. You remember hearing a gunshot, yelling and then Nick’s voice telling you everything was OK and that he was here now. He held up your body while Fin untied your arms and you blacked out as soon as you hit his shoulder.

****

"I have heard a lot about you two! Haven't done a very good job of looking after her have you. You should both be ashamed of yourselves." You slowly opened your eyes, the room was dim, and you let your eyes adjust.

 Your Mum was standing next to you holding your hand; which had a cannula in it, Nick was standing at the end of the bed with his head down and Rafael on your other side looking at the floor next to him. None of them saw you waking up.

"Don’t be like that Mum, they may not be perfect in your eyes but they are in mine." You said with a little smile.

"Oh sweetheart" your mum lent down and kissed you on the forehead.

"My Raf" you looked over at him with tears in your eyes, he put his forehead to yours, and you felt his warm tear drops land on your chest on top of your hospital gown neck. He stepped away and brushed your cheek with the back of his hand with a small smile.

You let go of your mum's hand and reached out for Nick, he walked around, grabbed it and kissed your knuckles. You looked at him, 

"Next night shift we do, you need to drive me where ever I need to go when we clock off, even if it’s to Brooklyn." You said with a giggle.

 “I’m so sorry, I completely understand if you want a new partner". You squeezed his hand, 

“Don’t be silly partner. I need you now more than ever" he gave you a small smile back.

“I’ll go and call Liv, tell her you’re awake." He kissed you on the top of your head and turned to your mum, 

“How about I take you to a late lunch, I'll drop you back at Y/N apartment so you can shower and rest?" 

Your Mum looked at you, “Go mum, I'll be fine, Raf is here."

Your Mum walked over and kissed you on your cheek. "I’ll be back later, you look after her".  Looking at Rafael, and she walked out with Nick.

You adjusted yourself to sit up in your bed. Rafael helped. You needed water; your mouth was so dry and felt like sand paper. You patted your hand on the bed so he could sit down across from you, and he took both your hands in his, careful of your hand with the cannula in it. You had a lump in your throat, but you swallowed it down, tears came to of your eyes,

 "I thought I would never see you again Rafael. I meant what I said in the video, I love you Raf, so much! I know it's too soon and I understand if you don't feel the same...."

He didn't give you a chance to finish, his lips were on yours. This was the sweetest most loving kiss he had ever given you; he pulled away and put his forehead to yours.

"I love you with my whole heart mi Hermosa."

 You looked up at him, “He didn’t do anything to me Raf, and it was more emotional stuff really. He knew about us and he used that against me, but I can’t work out how he would have known. I don’t think I’ll be able to ever drink or smell vodka again” you crinkled up your nose just thinking about it.

 He looked at you with his jaw clenched.

“He’s gone now mi amor. He can’t hurt anyone anymore. You will never see him again, and I promise to keep you safe as long as I live.”

Rafael filled in the blanks, you didn’t remember much after you took the video; He didn’t do anything to you, other than making you drink vodka for nearly 3 days and emotionally torment you. While he was talking to you, a nurse came in and put a new bag of fluids, which started to make you feel better. You asked if you could use his phone to call your mum so she could pack a bag for you so he could go and pick it up and bring it back to you. You were lying on your left side in bed, and he was sitting right next to you on a chair, holding one of your hands, and his other hand running it through your hair.

 “I have never been as frightened as I have been the last few days. I was with Liv when the video call came through the first time, you looked so scared and I couldn’t do anything, and then when she got the video I was there as well.” He paused “When I seen Nick’s call this morning, I nearly didn’t answer because I’m so mad at him that he let this happen to you, but something made me pick up and he me told that they had found you and Liv, Lewis was dead and you were both on your way to Belleview and to meet them here.”

 “Raf, it’s no one’s fault. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time; it could have easily been someone else. You need to not be so hard on Nick, he tries his best. He has trouble keeping up with me” you giggled

 You both didn’t even hear the door open, “Hey Guys. Sorry to intrude.”

 You both looked up to see Liv standing there with a big bunch of flowers and a medium size paper bag. She sat them both on the small table and started to walk towards Rafael. He gave her a big hug and then lent back down and gave you a kiss on your forehead.

 “I ‘am going to go home and shower. I’ll pick up your stuff on the way back. I won’t be long.” And he walked out the door, after giving Liv’s arm a squeeze and a smile.

 Liv sat on the chair he was on and grabbed your hand. She looked better then you remember seeing her. She had showered and had different cloths on. She had bags under eyes. You guessed that no one would have had much sleep the last few days.

 “How are you feeling?”

 “This is my second bag of fluids, I feel good now, are you OK?” you squeezed her hand and she nodded back.

 “I ‘am sorry you got pulled into this. I shouldn’t of have left it that long to come and get you. He didn’t......he didn’t do anything to you did he?”

 “Liv, don’t be sorry, you came that’s the main thing. No, he didn’t. Other than making me drink vodka nonstop and emotionally hurting me, he somehow knew about me and Rafael and he used it against me. I ‘am sorry about the video. I didn’t want to do it, but he told me if I didn’t he was going to shoot me, I don’t remember much after that.”

She stood up and pulled you into her arms and then kissed your forehead and sat down.

“At least I hold the record for the most eventful start at SVU.” You both laughed and wiped away tears.

 “The next couple of weeks are going to be busy and hard. We have both been called to make statements to IAB and 1PP. But know, I’ll be beside you every step of the way, and if this goes to trail, you will have all the support you need.” You nodded and gave her a small smile.

“So.... You and Barba hey.” You went red.

“I ‘am sorry I didn’t tell you Liv. We were going too but.....” she held up her hand to stop you from talking

“I’ am happy for you both. As long as it doesn’t interfere with work it’s all good with me.” She looked in your eyes and you and smiled. “I think you are good balance for him. You make him human, not just an ADA for sex crimes......OH” she stood up and grabbed the paper bag off the table and handed it to you.

“What’s this?” you said,

“Open it.” You opened the top of the paper bag and pulled out a new phone in a box, your badge and new wallet.

Tears came to your eyes, “Liv you didn’t.”

“It’s the least I can do, the sim card is tapped to the box, it’s the same number as your old one, you just have to set it up.” 

“Thank you so much Liv.” You reached your arms out to hug her; she lent down and hugged you back.

 Next minute, in walked Amanda, Fin and Nick.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Nick smart mouthed, Fin and Amanda laughed, then rush other and hugged you.

“We brought your favourite sandwich and an iced latte. We called before and asked the Doctor If you can eat now.”

You all sat in your room and laughing and mucking around. Everything that happened of the last couple of days faded away for a little while. You knew the next couple of weeks would be hard, knowing you had to go to IAB and 1PP, and then most likely go to trial, but you could do it. You had the best support system money could buy.

[jennsmischievousmind]

EXSOMNIS

CHAPTER 3 -  Expecting the unexpected

Exsomnis: Wakeful, Vigilant

Summary: Fresh Doctor out of residency you didn’t expect Conyers to be this uneventful until everything happened at the same time. From the outset, an odd meeting with what seems like a steadfast Detective but it was only the beginning.

Notes: English is not my native language, I’m trying to get better at it, please be indulgent.

Based on the movie Prisoners by Denis Villeneuve (so I don’t own any of the OG characters) if you haven’t seen it, I recommend you do (maybe before reading) :) The story takes place before and through the event in the movie.

“Hi, I’m here for stitches removal.” He announced typing his fingers on the desk.

“Hold on,” the nurse picked up a file while the phone kept ringing. Erin came at the desk, a tablet in hand.

“Detective Loki, hello, how can I help you?” She asked much more enjoyed than usual.

He eyed her confused. “Hello, uh I came to get my stitches removed.”

“Right, yes, you can wait in treatment 3, a Doctor will see you soon.” She smiled and lead him to the room.

 You were putting your white coat on when Erin rushed in the locker room.

“Doctor Y/L/N! Y/N, you got a patient in treatment 3.”

“I’m not on shift yet Erin, be indulgent with me would you.” You stretch your arms above your head, and you saw her smirk.

“What is it?” you rearranged your collar.  

“You better take this case asap.” she shooed you out the locker room, making sure you were going to treatment 3.

“You’ll thank me later.” she winked and disappeared.

“What!?” You stood there confused, holding the tablet she gave you. Finally looking at the file opened on the tablet, your eyes widened. Raising your head, you squinted your eyes to found her and gut her with your stare. Unfortunately, she was smart enough not to stay in your sight. You took a deep breath and opened the door. Blue eyes locked onto yours immediately.

“Morning Doc!” he stopped pacing around the room finally seating on the bed. Doc it is, alright, you said to yourself.

“Good morning, Detective, how are these stitches?”

“You tell me.” He removed his jacket and lifted his black long sleeve top, you watched him do so from the corner of your eye as you put your gloves on, getting the kit from the drawer. He lowered his pants on his own this time, lying down, you gulped. It was pretty awkward now that you two knew each other but your professional self took control.

“Seems pretty, you asserted cleaning the stitches, you’re going to fill a tug when I removed the thread, tell me if you want me to stop.”

You waited for him to answer but he just nodded, placing your right arm on his left thigh for more stability you felt it tensed. You picked a sterile pincer to pick up the knots, at the same time grabbing surgical scissors to cut each one. The sound of the scissors on the aluminum tray echoed in the room, you could only hear the daily hospital bustle outside the room. Picking up a pincer to pull on the thread his abdomen suddenly contracted, he let out a hissed.

“Sorry,” you whispered still concentrated on the task. You repeated your action on the second wound as he watched your every move. While getting rid of the second thread you brushed his rib with your fingers feeling the cut, he inhaled slightly. Glancing up stealthily you caught him looking at you, he immediately averted his eyes, a grin crept onto your lips. After cleaning the wounds again and putting adhesive strips you were finally done.

“It shouldn’t leave bad scars if you take care of it seriously.” The gloves hit the open bin’s loop.

“Not the first scars ...and it’s not like we have the beach here so...” He grinned, putting down his top.

“Your friend might mind.” You taunted, he smirked.

“Well I’ll see that, he said putting on his jacket as you put away the kit.

The little hope you had faded at his saying. 

“When I have one.” he added.

“Oh … “ that’s all you could manage to say right now, finding out he was single took over any rational answer.

“Work is ... taking all my time.” His hand unconsciously reaching his belt where his badge hanged.

“Welcome to the club!” You slide your chair to the corner letting a sigh escape, seizing the tablet and typing the prescription on it.

“I’ve sent you the procedure to get ‘pretty’ scars, if someday you moved to the west coast.” The corners of his mouth turned up and he chuckled, you opened the door. Not that you weren’t having a good time with him, but work does come first.

“Or happened to have time for a girlfriend,” he coaxed brushing past you on the threshold.

“Or that, you laughed softly clutching the tablet on your chest, gazing at him.

“Careful!” you grabbed his forearm pulling him forward, he looked behind to see a nurse with a cart entering the treatment room 2. One of his hand had left his pocket as an unconscious protective move and was now on your ribs. His attention resumed to you, he felt his hand on you so immediately removed it.

“Sorry” his thumb hooking on his belt, you shook your head. 

You were still pretty close, you let your hand slide on his arm, brushing his fingers. 

“I don’t mind.” you smiled coyly.

 His lips parted “Could we...”

“Dr. Y/L/N?” you turned around to see a bunch of med students.

“Got to run, sorry” motioning to the group behind you.

He nodded, his jaw somewhat clenching.

“See you around?” he said taking a few steps backward.

“Hopefully not in the E.R” he smiled as you winked and turned to the group.

“All right, so today you’re with me, Dr. Y/L/N, observe, answer my questions and ask some, I’m insisting on this point don’t be afraid to ask, you’re here to learn.”  

 “Did it go well!?” she casually asked entering the locker room.

“You little brat," you laughed, "you’d do anything.” You closed your locker.

She paused “…f’course I would. Jamie told me you ended up quite close.” She wriggled her shoulders.

“Jamie? The med student?" She nodded, "it wasn’t like that, there was this nurse with the cart and,” ... you saw her smiled widely “all right! I may happen to know that he is single and straight for that matter.”

“Yes! Kinda guessed he was though.” She shrugged.

“Thank god he is single, or I could be dealing with a legit annoyed girlfriend right now.” 

She laughed out loud. “Come on, it’s not like you two make-out in corners and don’t tell me you’re not glad to know he is.”

You passed by her, swinging your bag over your shoulder. “Maybe,” you smiled.

“Wait for me! I want details!!” she rushed to her locker as you laughed, leaning on the door frame.

A week passed, one morning you had to calm Erin when you ran into Loki at the coffee shop, she franctically nudged at your arm and pretexted a call as soon as he aproached you. Stealing the car keys from your hand, she grabbed her latte and disappeared, letting you 5 minutes top with him.

She almost didn’t open the car, telling you by the ajar window that it was too fast and you had to go back talk to him.

In the middle of the night, your phone rang, scaring the shit out of you. You hope the hospital wasn't in need of a doctor. You hang off lazily putting the speaker on. 

“Hmm!?” You hummed eyes still closed.

“Y/N, something happened at the hospital, I don't know what to do!!” You heard sobbed and finally got everything she said.

“Rach? Rachel is Erin with you!?” She tried to answer mumbling something.

“All right, I'm coming to get you!” Stumbling out of bed, you grabbed a hoodie, hop into yesterday's jean and get down your stairs 2 by 2. Snatching your car keys on the way to the door.

“Shit!” The air was freaking cold against your bare face and bare feet in your shoes. Starting the engine, the clock on the board flashed 3:45 you'd be at Erin and Rach's in about 15 minutes.

15 minutes to remember that Erin was on shift all night, you started imagining the worst, unconsciously speeding up. After picking up Rachel, she explained she had a call from the police, there has been a shooting at the hospital.

You stopped breathing, tears coming up your eyes, preparing yourself for the worst, Erin, all the people you work with flowed in your mind... Rach continued with difficulty.

“Erin is fine, but they wouldn't let me know about the others. She was in the middle of it..” she sobbed.

“Where is she now, still at the hospital!?” you stroke her shoulder, trying to comfort her.

“At the police station, I told the officer we were coming.” you nodded and started back the engine.

Parking up at the police station you both rushed inside. The bustle was infernal, families were yelling at cops to know more about the shooting, if there were injured victims, some were still stained with blood, people were totally devastated. Concerned about your co-workers arise even more, you tried to remember tonight's planning. 

The officer behind the glass had you signed a presence paper before you entered the main open room. 

“ERIN! Rach wailed running to her loved one. 

You let a relief sigh escape your lips, stopping a few steps behind them, your hands on your trembling knees, you close your eyes and breath deeply. Even though Rachel had told you Erin was fine seeing her was the best proof. You hugged them both. Erin couldn't stop shaking, her eyes were puffy and receding, she kept looking at her bloody nurse blouse.

“Erin, hun, we need to remove your blouse, all right?“ you told her gently.

Rach helped her lift her arms as she was still in shock. Thankfully her top underneath didn't get stained. 

You waited, hours, in the station, there were many witnesses, worried families, paperwork. Around 6 am, the coffee machine had become your savior, forehead on the vending machine you were waiting for your 5th coffee, you knew at this rate caffeine won't be as effective, but it was better than staying seated in the main room with everyone. Most of your co-workers had left, some went back to the hospital, some went home, you started wondering what you would have done.

“Fuck!” You startled at the sudden voice, turning your attention to it, Loki came to you removing his beanie. An odd sense of safety overwhelmed you, he stopped a feet away.

“Are you okay!? He asked, his eyes sporting a worried look you hadn't seen yet.

“Yeah, I mean … I wasn’t at the hospital, he sighed somehow relieved, can you tell me more about all this? Who’s the shooter, my friend almost died tonight!” your voice cracked.

Your breath got caught in your throat, saying it out loud made it way too real, taking support on the vending machine you inhaled deeply. The strong behavior you put up for Rachel and Erin crumbled in a matter of seconds, tears prickling at your eyes, legs quivering, you clenched your fits trying to control yourself.

“Calm down, he took a step further grabbing your shoulders, hey you’re okay.” His hand reached the side of your neck, his thumb brushing your jaw, forcing eye contact with you.

“Breathe, your friend is safe, you are safe.” You nodded, his other hand sliding a strand of hair aside your face, you slowly regained your composure, concentrating your breathing on his.

He looked around, “Get your friend and follow me okay.“ He retrieved his hands becoming self-conscious, you stood straight up and sniffed, pulling yourself together, you waved at Rach to brought Erin as you followed Loki in an empty office. Erin sat on the two-place couch followed by Rachel. You stayed up as Loki sat on the desk.

“You remember the guy I brought in the hospital a few weeks ago? The guy who got shot by an officer and passed away...” 

“And stabbed you.” You cut him furrowing your brows.

"Yeah, … well, the shooter is his brother, we found multiple weapons in their house. Don’t ask me why he decided to take on the hospital, I don’t know yet. I’m just glad he’s a bad shooter, no loss, only injuries, bruises and shock are to deplore, he said looking at Erin, he’s been arrested immediately."

“Thanks for letting us know.” Rach nodded stroking Erin’s hair. He pursed his lips, looking away.

“Did someone took the deposition and brief you around the all procedure?” he asked Rach, then glanced at you.

“No, actually it’s been hectic, there are so many people out there,” you answered looking at the crowd behind the blinds.

“Okay, wait here” he stood up and disappeared a few minutes, you paced the office, biting your thumbnail, while Rach rocked Erin in her arms.

Loki came back with a laptop. “I’ll take your deposition, so you can go home.” he stated.

Lips parting in surprised, you watched him settle in the office.  “Thanks! you exclaimed, can we stay with her?” he nodded looking intently at you.

Erin hesitantly sat in front of him at the desk while you joined Rachel on the couch.

You tried not to stare at him as he was concentrated on his job, typing faster than you’ve imagined. You noticed his erratic blinking again, trying to remember in all the med books you had read where it could come from. Lost in the medical side of your brain you didn’t hear him said it was done. Rach nudged at your arm.

“Hm, sorry?” you blinked.

“The Detective said we could go.” Rachel replied taking Erin by the shoulders, she glanced at Loki then you.

“Oh all right.” You stood up and watch him open the door for them, Rach looked at you both.

“We’ll … wait in the car, Rachel said eyeing you intensely, you patted your hoodie’s pocket searching for your keys, she grabbed them and initiated a smile.

“I hope your friend will get through quickly.” He leaned on the door frame, crossing his arms.

“She’s strong, she’ll make it. And she has Rachel to rely on.” You watched the girls going through the crowded station.

He nodded. “Y/N … your name on his lips was oddly satisfying. I’m glad you weren’t at the hospital, I got … worried when I heard the radio call and that I couldn’t check on you.” He nervously scoffed. 

You genuinely were stricken by his saying, it didn’t occur to you that someone could have been worried for you, nevertheless him.

“That’s...nice, you sputtered,… thanks, uhm you clumsily look for your phone… here” you handed him, so he could register his number and get yours. 

He handed it back taking a step further. The adrenaline of tonight rushing out, you took a deep breath.

“Will you be okay?” he softly inquired.

“Yeah, I passed the panic stage.” you sneered squeezing your wrist.

“Can we meet later, he asked, I don't know how much time I'll have but ...” 

“Call me! you urged. I'll surely be at Erin's. Thanks again.” Your hand pressed against his chest and in a spunk, you kissed his right cheek. He smiled a little and so did you as you passed by him.

You were cooking breakfast, while Rach was helping Erin cleaned up when your phone rang, quickly you wipe your hands on your jean. 

“Hey, …” you recognized his voice.

“Hey...where are you?“ you inquired biting your lower lip

“Outside your friend's house.” 

“Ok, m'coming”

Putting back your hoodie on, you told Rach you were going out a few minutes.

The sun wasn’t up yet, an opaque mist covered the road and grass around the block. He was parked on the other side of the road, waiting for you outside his car. Crossing the road hands buried in your hoodie’s pocket, you felt the urge to hug him even though it was very sudden and very early in what was going on between the two of you but you just needed some support, taking care of Rach and Erin while being exhausted took a real toll on you.

“Can I be bluntly honest and maybe bold with you right now?” You asked stopping a few feet away from him.

“Go on” he answered amused.

“I won’t say no to a hug.” You balance on your feet but stopped as the cold entered your sweater.

“Bold indeed” he looked down, you thought you’d blown it.

He pushed himself from his car and grab your sleeve bringing you into his arms. Caging your body with a strong hold, he slid his arms around your shoulders, you felt tiny into his arms, yours encircling his waist inside his jacket. Resting your head on his chest, you felt his hand caressed your hair, you tightened your embrace. You shuddered at the feeling of one of his hand reaching your waist, his grip tightened.

“Get in the car, you’re freezing.” He whispered.

You sat in the passenger seat and scoot over to him, facing his way. Knocking an empty coffee cup over with your knee, the handbrake bruising your calf. His features relaxed, he looked down at your hand slipping in your sleeve to keep it warm. He reached out taking it between his.

“Did you sleep?” he asked, concentrating on your hand.

“I slept, … you count on your fingers, 4 hours since my last shift, you let out a stifled laugh, you didn’t sleep much either I bet.” you frowned.

“I don’t sleep a lot in general.” he looked away almost ashamed.

“I could look at you and say that.” you taunted, trying to change the mood. 

“Well, thanks” he chuckled, you shook your head laughing.

“Do you want breakfast? I was cooking some for the girls.” you pointed at the house.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” he peeked in the rear-view mirror as a woman opened her garage door.

“Oh…” you started retrieving your hand from his.

“I mean, grasping at your hand, your friend has gone through a lot, I bet she doesn’t want an officer in her house.” He offered a half-smile.

“Touché … but believe me, if it wasn’t for this night’s event, she would like to have you and me for dinner at least.” You laughed, knowing she would indeed be thrilled to see you dating him.

“Dinner sounds great though… you and me.” he blurted out, squeezing at your hand.

“Definitely.” you caught a glimpse of the door's house opening, Rach’s head popping out. He looked at his left following your look, Rach closed the door trying to be discreet.

“Thank you again, for earlier.” He looked back at you, you leaned in deposing a gentle kiss on his sharp jaw, taking way more time than necessary.

He blinked like he did earlier, you waited for a sign from him, something that would tell you to go further but it didn’t come.

“Try to sleep.” he released your hand after a gentle squizz, you nodded a bit confused.

“Was it the Detective from earlier?” Rach asked taking a glass of juice. Erin lifted her head from her untouched plate.

“It was, yeah.” You didn’t elaborate more thinking it wasn’t the right time.

“Tell me you didn’t blow your chance.” Erin suddenly mumbled.

“She talks! You scoffed, and a little smirk appeared on her face, and no I did not ..I think.., per contra.” You winked, pressing the last orange.

“She was in his car, really close to him.” Rach giggled.

“I missed that!” Erin whined.

You urged her to eat something, while they asked details about your encounter with Loki. They were relentless, but seeing Erin thinking about something else than the incident was great. Rachel and you busied her mind with some trivial topics all day. 

You wondered where it would get you. Getting in a relationship was not something you had in mind at first, but then again he didn't react when you kissed his cheek so you didn’t know where exactly this were going.

"Don't overthink this Y/N!" You scolded yourself.

Chapter 4 - Two birds, no stone

[texasthegreatdestroyer]

One Heart, Two Souls.

Chapter 1, Part 2.

“You knew my husband, didn't you?”

“Yes, we were good friends.”

“So you too know my sadness, how much I miss him so?

“...Yes.”

The silence was brief between us. I was so sick of it, who would've thought it would have been a good thing if it continued on? Her hands started shaking. I thought she might be crying, but she looked to me, there were no tears upon her. I was wrong, it was the exact opposite. She giggled before she spoke. No wife currently grieving over a dead spouse giggles.

“You've seen me naked, haven't you?”

She moved closer to me and put her hand on me in a romantic gesture.

“What was your name, sir?”

“A-Auron.”

I was extremely flustered by her advances on me.

“Tell me Auron, did you like what you saw?”

“Where are you going with this?”

“I'm grieving, you're grieving, it wouldn't be wrong if we sought comfort from each

other.”

She leaned in to kiss me, but I pulled away.

“I'm sorry, but I can't! You're Jecht's wife dammit! I can't do that to him!”

It was clear she was desperate to fill the void in her heart where her husband's love should be. She moved herself into my lap.

“Please? You're my only salvation. Only you can save me from myself. Misery enjoys company, you know? Besides, I'll make it worth your while. I'll suck your-”

That was it, I didn't even hesitate to get up. Unfortunately, I said something I shouldn't have out of discomfort

How many men have you said that to!-”

I wanted to end the sentence with, “Whore”, but I didn't get a chance to, as I fell backwards. I had slipped on something and hit my head against the wall. My head was bleeding.

Lucky for me though, seeing that, she discarded the comment. She tried to help me, but she was too weak.

I eventually got up on my own. She looked at me real solemnly.

“I'm really sorry.”

Her voice was small and shaky. I played it nice, looked up at her and gave her a hint of a smile. I was preparing to leave as I was probably unwanted at this point.

“I should be going, but I’ll be back in the morning to discuss Jecht's will with you… you should probably get some rest.”

“Yes, thank you for your help today.”

I nodded my head at her.

“You have a good night ma’am.”

“You too.”

I was getting prepared to leave, when I saw Tidus sitting by the door, reading his book.

I bent down and put out my hand to shake it.

“I'm Auron by the way, nice to meet you Tidus.”

The boy looked up at me with discontent, then went back to reading his book.

“Good night.” I had said before walking out the door. He said nothing back. With a quick sigh, I walked out being confident that my place there was finalized. Unwelcome I was. Not like I really was wanted from the start.

I walked all through Zanarkand a good part of the night. I didn't really have anywhere to go. Besides, I had a lot on my mind. I was disgusted with myself. I led Jecht's wife on. It wasn't intentional, but it did happen. Why erupts she do that to him? How could she. It was pretty close to morning when I found a spot in an alleyway to crash out in.

I wanted to sleep, but something about sleeping pin the streets in a busy city was not appealing to me, so I wasn't able to sleep. Lucky for me though, Morning came quickly, and I needed to leave early anyways. I was on the other side of town.

It didn't really help my cause any thinking about the events that played out last night. All I could really do was put it the back of my mind and be there to be professional. Talk business. Nothing more.

I knocked on the door. Tidus answered the door. When I came in, I sat down on the nearest couch.

“Where's your mother?”

“She's asleep. She left very late last night and didn't get back until early in the

morning.”

“When did she leave last night?”

“She left at three a.m. and didn't get back until five. She woke me up to lock the door.”

What was she thinking?

“So, what are you and my mom going to talk about?

“Your father's will.”

“What is a will? The old lady next to us tells mom often of how the other people next door are trying to get on my mom's good side, so they can claim me, get the will, and keep it for themselves.”

Tsk. Vultures.

“I don't like them though, they're mean to me.”

“Don't worry, if things play out right, they won't be a problem, just wait and see.”

“But, what is a will?”

“A will is usually a lump sum of cash you receive when someone dies, that is if you are put on the will. The money is what is left behind in savings that belonged to the deceased. A will could be anything, money, belongings, or sometimes a demand. A demand happens to be your father's case.”

A sad look appeared on his face.

“Why does everyone think mom is going to die?”

“She seems… very sick.”

“Yeah, but she's fine! She's has to be! Sick people eventually get better! She has to as well, right?”

“Yes, but that's not always the case, some people don't get better at all.”

“She's not some people! Mommy will get better, I know she will!”

The boy's face gleamed with an innocent smile at the idea of his confidence. He's just a little angel. At that moment, I didn't just want to guard his life, I wanted to guard his heart.

The conversation was through, when a woman's voice cut into it.

“Tidus!”

I looked to find his mother standing in the entrance of the hallway.

She scowled at him, he reacted by cowering. The poor boy looked like a dough that had just been beaten. My heart melted instantly for him. What did the poor kid do this time? I wondered. She spoke again and in a scolding manner.

“Why didn't you wake me up when he got here?”

“You were sleepy last night mommy, so I didn't want to wake you up.”

“What did I tell you?”

“I'm sorry.”

“We have important things to discuss! I told you to waffle me up when he got here!”

She looked over to me worth a more welcoming stare than her poor son. I looked over to him. He had picked up a book and started reading. With a gesture from his mother, I followed her back to her room.

She had a bunch of papers cluttered on one desk. Out was an old thing and looked Just as fragile as her. The legs looked like they were about to snap under the weight of the desktop if you poked it too hard. A fragile desk for a fragile woman.

“Sorry. I know my room is a mess. You had me really thinking last night, so I made a trip to mine and Tidus’s social worker downtown at three. I didn't make it back till five in three morning. Let me tell you, people don't joke weekend they say,

“Zanarkand never sleeps.” I was surprised to find the office still open and or social worker filling out papers.”

“I heard. You left your son alone?”

“I told him to lock the door, it wasn't the first time I left him alone. Don't worry.”

“I am going to worry because it's dangerous to leave your seven-year old child at home, by himself, at three o'clock in the morning, for two hours! Should I go into the many scenarios of which things could have gone terribly wrong!?

I couldn't help myself. I heads to yell. She was vetoing entirely reckless with her child, not realizing how delicate bee actually was.

“I'm glad you care so deeply for my son as you do.”

“Can we talk about this later? We need to discuss your husband's will.”

“I need you to take custody of my son when my time here is up.”

“Wha-”

“I know this is sudden, I believe you knew my husband well, and you Monday be the only person I can trust. You get my will and this house. Everything you need to take care of him is provided. The only other person I can trust with this task is an old and disabled woman and can't take care of him, and the other people next door only want the money. They will put Tidus in foster care the first chance they get. I know you think I'm a horrible mother, but you have to believe me when I say I really do love my son. I don't want him in the hands of people who don't care about him. You will though, I can tell. You're already attached. So will you take him?”

“... I will take him, that is Jecht's will and I'll fulfill it.”

“Thank you… We should get started, these papers aren't going to fill themselves out.”

We went straight to it. Thirty minutes in, and she began to doze off.

I tried to get her to lay down for a bit, but she refused.

“Really, if you're tired, you should try to sleep.”

“No. These papers need to be finished.”

“We're halfway through, there's no harm in taking a break.”

“But if I lay down, there's no guarantee I'll wake back up either.”

She had a point, in order to become Tidus’s guardian, I had no choice but to fill these papers out.

Some odd minutes past by, and we had finished filling out everything. I was finally able to get Tidus’s mother back to bed. I felt no reason to stay, so I grabbed my sword and started heading towards the door. When I was walking by the kitchen, something caught my eye.

Tidus was trying to reach a box of crackers sitting on the counter, he wasn't quite tall enough to reach them, but he kept trying. It had occurred to me that he hasn't eaten all this time. I searched the cupboards for a plate until I eventually found one. I took the crackers and put them on a plate for him, then rummaged through the freezer box to get the stuff to make him a sandwich.

I made him two sandwiches, one for now, and another for later in case his mom didn't wake up for the rest of the day, or to sick to make him anything. We sat together while he ate.

“Not too shabby” I'd ask.

“Nope!”

His answer was muffled, but his head movements showed approval. After he finished eating, I resumed my departure. I was heading to the door when he ran up behind me and put his arms around me.

“Thank You for the sandwich Auron! Bye!”

I was flustered, I wasn't used to embrace, so out seemed normal of me to react. When my face cleared up, I turned to him and smiled.

“You're welcome, kiddo. See you around.”

I walked out this door, but something was trying to pull me back. It was as if the whole house was going to blow up and be disintegrated with everyone in it if I didn't turn back around.

I left that night, but I felt I had made a big mistake, and at a critical moment too. When I learned of this mistake, I had never been so scared in my life.