#I don't know if the creators did it on purpose but I hope it is

[scentedpeachlandcreator]

how i manifested my dream life with extremely hard circumstances + how you can too ♡

Note: this is not my post and it's blushydior's post that everyone been searching for, so i thought why not making it as a post,and blushy if you see this, please don't kill me i know you said that you'll change your post but you disappeared After that.

♡ table of contents:

1. the importance of making this post

2.my take on manifestation + the 3D

3. HOW I DID IT - my journey in 4 phases i went through that include my mindset changes up to the moment i got my desires 

4. your new rules & routine from this moment on

5. a note from me!

6. frequently asked questions: separated into topics regarding the 3D, self concept + miscellaneous questions to have you leaving this post stress free.

now let’s get into it. read every bit of this post “ ~ ୨୧ ♡ ·

I. THE IMPORTANCE OF MAKING THIS POST

i’ve been through it all. you can read my experiences from old life in the “my life before” section of my success story + here, here, here and here. this is my success story on how the law of assumption has changed my life. as you can see from the “how” section of the post, i had purposely left it short, sweet and simple to avoid people complicating the simplicity of the law of assumption. but as time went on, anons and other blogs made me realize that since people do tend to over-complicate the law, the need i felt to make an in-depth post on how i personally manifested through my hard circumstances grew strong.

my blog often highlights topics that pertain to mental health, so i want to make sure those who find themselves in the same situations as i once were feel seen, heard and loved. you are all so powerful, amazing and hold so much potential more than you know. with this post, i hope i am able to help you realize that fact to the best of my abilities.

𝐈𝐈. MY TAKE ON MANIFESTATION + THE 3D

something that you’ll see me say all the time is: “life is a blank canvas.” that’s because it truly is.

remember that you are working with the law of assumption. what you assume to be true, is true. nothing is set in stone unless you say it is. things have meaning only if you assign it one.

you are the sole creator of your life. you are the artist that controls the brush/pen, you control what goes on and off of this very malleable canvas we call life. you don’t have to do anything. therefore,

you don’t have to: affirm 24/7, be specific, word your affirmations correctly, listen to subliminals, ignore the 3D, be positive all the time, meditate, have high vibrations, script, visualize, do sats or lullaby, go into the void, affirm in the present tense, avoid the mirror, etc.

you can literally say a random word like “bonk” and if saying it means you have all your desires or money is constantly filling your bank account, then that’s what will happen!

“but what if my subconscious doesn’t know what it means?” your subconscious mind is literally you. it’s not some stranger separate from you. if you want a scene to play out a certain way on a specific date or a romantic partner with all the most perfect qualities even if you can’t name it all at the top of your head, your subconscious has your back with the details! you have your own back. don’t worry.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO IGNORE THE 3D.

read that again and again and again and again and-if your circumstances are quite literally in your face, how can you turn the other way and ignore it? you could if you wanted but you’ll only be doing more harm and we don’t want that, right?

“so then what do i do?” you KNOW it’s going to change. it’s challenging when you don’t fully believe the law to know it’s going to change, so for a start, tell yourself that this is not the end. why? because the moment you had a desire and claimed it as yours, it has already been set stone in the 4D so the 3D has no choice but to reflect it. this is your movie, you KNOW this is not the end. you are director and star of this movie! you control how it’s going to play out.

𝐈𝐈𝐈. HOW I DID IT - The 4 Phases (more so, 3)

PHASE 1:

i found out about manifestation from tiktok. from there i have tried scripting, law of attraction and had taken a liking into the craft. i tried it all until i found out about the law of assumption, sammy ingram and finally, tumblr.

PHASE 2:

upon finding out about loassumption tumblr, i had learned more and more about the law but as time went on, i had realized i had never really fully tried to apply the law. the idea just didn’t come about to apply it. as many others, i had overconsumed information, always wondering if i was doing it right, questioning the 3D,

so i took a break. upon discharge, i realized many things and decided to spend an extended amount of time alone, away from social media. i’m someone who values alone time as long as if it’s spent wisely.

during this time away from tumblr and sns platforms in general, constantly surrounded by other people’s takes, information, and opinions, i had learned so much about the law of assumption on my own! i went into the law of assumption with a fresh mind, actually applying the knowledge and overtime of affirming and persisting, i ACTUALLY understood the meaning behind “creation is finished. it is done.”

i’m advising you to step away from social media (that on it’s own has negative impacts) and be alone with your thoughts. i know your thoughts haven’t had it’s time to be alone because you’re most likely constantly seeking information to help you. and i don’t blame you. it’s just that, you are always bombarded by thoughts that aren’t your own, you barely give some time to yourself to think for yourself!

PHASE 3:

and if you can’t help but be on tumblr for other reasons than loassumption, unfollow blogs for the time being, scroll past informational posts to avoid second guessing your application. tell yourself that

YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT!

when it was time to apply the law, i simplified it. you choose what you desire, you affirm from your desire and persist. okay! got it. so that’s what i did. i affirmed whenever i thought about my desire, i kept saying that it is done! so in phase 2, i mentioned how i realized how creation was ACTUALLY done, right? before deciding to apply the law, i kept seeing posts saying that but i didn’t really fully understand it until the realization hit me during my time away from social media. (see? i love alone time. solitude is my bff) — here’s my breakdown for you:

once you decide a desire is yours to claim, THE SECOND you affirm that, in your head, imagination, your 4D, it is ALREADY yours. therefore, it has no choice to become physical reality. (this is why your subconscious only needs to hear things once in order for it to conform!)

it will always be yours for as long as you sustain that assumption (persist), it is yours! no matter what.

this is the meaning of “it is done.” it’s like telling a chef what dish you want, once they know what you want, they’ve got you covered. except that this chef is you. you know the details of your desire, you declare it’s going to conform instantly so why are you worrying? there is no need to worry.

informational post on the 4D + 3D here:

❝ If you judge after appearances, you will continue to be enslaved by the evidence of your senses. To break this hypnotic spell of the senses you are told, "Go within and shut the door,” The door of the senses must be tightly shut before your new claim can be honored .Instead of fighting against the evidence of the senses you claim yourself to be that which you desire to be. As your attention is placed on this claim, the doors of the senses automatically close against your former master (that which you were conscious of being). As you become lost in the feeling of being (that which you are now claiming to be true of yourself) the doors of the senses once more open, revealing your world to be the perfect expression of that which you are conscious of being. ❞

i kept time away from social media and being persistent really helped me be aware of my thoughts.

persistence has helped me:

be aware of thoughts that i wouldn’t have been able to catch before. for example, i was declaring that i have all of my desires and creation was done, but i found myself affirming “okay but where is it?” — this made me realize i was questioning my desires in my 3D even though i knew it was done in the 4D. (you don’t have to do this, you can imply your 3D conforms fast with whatever affs)

flip and interrupt my intrusive thoughts faster and faster the more i persisted. i hated my intrusive thoughts so much. like it was so annoying and hurtful. it was filled with replaying past scenarios that happened to me, things i wished had played out differently, just people who absolutely did not deserve the right to be occupying my mind and space! so i was grateful to learn that with persistence, i started to have less and less of those.

(see!! mental diet, persistence!! <3 this is how habits form and strengthen duhh. remember not to abandon common sense for the law)

AND THEN, PHASE 4:

i had entered sabbath, the state of the wish fulfilled, calm and relaxation that my desire has already manifested and there wasn’t nothing left for me to do other than persist. after so much persisting and saturating my mind with my affirmations, i reached being peace with my desires. i’m really glad i persisted. see how after persistence of assumptions, though false, will harden into fact? see how even your affirmations would feel “fake” at first but will soon feel natural to you? this means that i wasn’t questioning where it was, how long it was taking, etc. but this doesn’t mean i was ignoring my 3D. i saw it all but i knew it was going to change BECAUSE i felt peace in my inevitable desires.

then, i received my desires.

❝ I couldn’t possibly be worried about anything if I really believe that imagining creates reality. ❞

❝ When I speak of feeling I do not mean emotion, but acceptance of the fact that the desire is fulfilled. Feeling grateful, fulfilled, or thankful, it is easy to say, “Thank You,” “Isn’t it wonderful!” or “It is finished.” When you get into the state of thankfulness, you can either awaken knowing it is done, or fall asleep in the feeling of the wish fulfilled. ❞

𝐈𝐕. YOUR NEW RULES & ROUTINE

☆┆YOUR 3 NEW RULES ARE:

1, you have all your desires

i have all of my desires

creation is finished. it is done.

2. you manifest quickly and easily

manifesting is always so easy and instant for me

i always manifest within 2 days or less, the 3D conforms instantly.

the 3D instantly reflect my 4D

the physical reality instantly reflects my 4D/imaginative reality

3. you are okay because nothing can stop you from getting the inevitable

everything is going to be okay because creation is done

i am always aware of my thoughts. nothing can stop/get in the way of my desires.

no amount of intrusive thoughts, events and opinions of others have the power to stop my manifestations.

✉️: choose one affirmation from each list or make one of your own that makes you feel comfortable.

☆┆ROUTINE:

affirm on loop as an act of saturating your mind whenever you think of your desire until you feel satisfied,

in the morning, after you wake up: saturate your mind with affs.

read the manifesting vaunt below everyday (whenever you feel like it) — read it over and over again until you feel confident then go about your day!!

at night, before you sleep, affirm this:

“i kept all my thoughts in check today. i didn’t waver once. my mind is completely saturated with the new story.”

optional tip: if you want to saturate your mind even more as a start, you can set reminders with sticky notes around your space, have affs on your phone lock screen or wear a bracelet.

✉️ NOTE: soon enough, your mind will be saturated and you won’t need to do this anymore. this is just a start for those who battle intrusive thoughts!

let yourself feel any emotions that may come up because of your hard circumstances then once it’s out of your system, affirm your rules, especially rule #3!

do not consume any loassumption information if you know it will only cause you to second guess your ability. if you have the urge to ask a blog a question, try to make sense of what they will say and answer it yourself.

in times of doubt, remember that life is a blank canvas. your desire is set in stone, so your only task is to persist.

REASSURANCE VAUNT

creation is ACTUALLY finished. it is done. the second i claimed my desires as mine, it has already manifested itself in the 4D so it has no choice to present itself in the 3D! all i have to do is affirm and persist. i always have unwavering faith in my manifesting abilities and the law. i never fail. i am successful at every single thing i do. manifesting is so effortless. no amount of doubt, worry, fear, anxiety, intrusive thoughts or events can ever, and i mean EVER stop my manifestations. why? because i said so. this is MY life. i make the rules. so if i say i manifest easily, the 3D conforms instantly and that i have all of my desires, then it is a FACT. i’m literally unstoppable. everything i want is inevitable. my only task is to persist, sit back and relax as the 3D reflects my 4D. it all happens so fast, but what else do you expect from a master manifester like me?

SOMETHING TO NOTE:

most of the time, people think affirming on loop is saying it like a robot but what you don’t realize is that you’re affirming as if you’re reading a book. it’s not filled with enthusiasm but it’s not exactly monotone either. stop overthinking it. it’s like the voice you’re reading this post with. correct?

again, soon enough, your affirmations will feel natural and you won’t feel the need to affirm constantly. the routine above was given for those who battle intrusive thoughts, making your affirmations dominate to the point where you don’t waver.

QUOTES on STATES:

❝ I paid thirty dollars for my first suit. Today a suit will cost me $200.00, but regardless of the cost, when the suit is new I am aware of it. But let me wear it long enough for it to feel natural and I will no longer be conscious of it. The same is true for a state. You may desire the state of fame. If you will think you are famous and remain conscious of the state long enough to make it natural, as the thoughts flow from you they become a natural part of your body of beliefs, and the world will proclaim your fame. ❞

❝ I urge you to use your own wonderful creative power and deliberately move into the state of your choice. Make it now by occupying the state long enough so that it feels natural. Haven’t you had a suit of clothes that felt so new you were conscious of them every moment? I know when I bought my first suit I walked down Fifth Avenue thinking everyone I passed knew my suit was new. People passing paid no attention to me, but I was so aware, so conscious of my new suit. That’s exactly that happens when you move into a new state. If the state of affluence is new, you think everyone knows it, but no one knows or cares whether you are rich or poor, so walk in the state until it becomes natural. The moment the feeling is natural, wealth is yours! ❞

𝐕. ENDING NOTE

i love you. read that again. you can do it. read that again. i am so so so so proud of you. read that again! you are so strong, you have SOO much potential and power. it’s time for you to tap into it, angel. stop making excuses. stop telling yourself you can’t do it. stop the nonsense! you’ve dealt with your hard circumstances long enough, it’s time for you to turn to the person who can make that change (you) and make it happen. i’m really sorry you have to go through what you did. you certainly do not deserve the unkind treatment. give yourself a hug and tell yourself that this. is. it. you’re going to make the change. you know it and i do too. it’s possible. nothing is impossible for the person who believes! keep the faith in yourself. nothing can stop you.

it’s like those movies where the mc finds out they hold so much power. they doubt it because of the life they’ve had so far but once they give it a shot, they become the most powerful hero ever. you are that hero!!!

i love you and i am, again, giving you the biggestttt hug ever.

now, with that being said, @blushydior​ will no longer be taking asks regarding this topic. i’ve cleared most of the questions that could ever arise. you don’t need my guidance anymore after this post! im seeing you off now. i love you. stay safe. know that you’re loved and hold the power to change your life.

— kisses from bambi ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡

ps. make sure you clicked the words that have links! <3 (the links are missing)

𝐕𝐈. FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Something you wish you could’ve told yourself before you manifested it all to make things easier for anyone struggling:

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

you guys are beating yourself up for something so simple. take a step back and realize that. you’re already dealing with such hard circumstances, so why are you literally degrading yourself for something so within your power and reach? tell yourself everything is going to be okay. you’re always doing your best. you deserve the WORLD.

I could write a whole novel, combine all the posts on tumblr teaching the law of assumption, and every helpful ask out there but at the end of the day, YOU are the only person who could change your life. YOU make the call. turn every doubtful question to a positive one, when in doubt, turn inwards toward the 4D and know that it is real. it is done the second you affirmed it so.

SPEND TIME ALONE.

i can NOT stress this enough. i didn’t include the details of my time alone in phase 2 for nothing. you’ll see that you can answer your own questions. you’ll catch the thoughts you missed because you have always been so adamant on getting answers to questions you already knew. take a deep breathe and stay firm.

SEE WHAT’LL HAPPEN IF YOU DON’T GIVE UP.

What did you affirm to get your dream life?

basically my affirmations i gave above and these. all i used were blanket affirmations.

What does persisting mean to you? What does persisting really feel like? Is it just like a mental diet? or what?

“persisting is sticking to what you want / the end no matter what you’re shown, told, and what you experience + picking yourself up after letting any negative emotions & thoughts pass by.” — blushydior from this ask here (sadly the link is missing:()

+ keeping your thoughts in line of the same category. to word this in a different way, i can affirm so many affirmations just as long as they mean the same thing to me!

“it also is a mental diet. we’re always persisting in something. it’s just a matter of what you’re persisting in. you either persist in your desire or negative/non-beneficial thought 24/7.”

“in your post about how you changed your life, you said you just affirmed and persisted. but from your other posts it seems like you read neville goddard books. so did you just affirm or did you do imaginal acts too? i get confused when people say “just affirm and persist” cause neville never said that.” (original ask here) (note from Eli: the link is missing).

“yes, i read his books and sometimes i would do imaginal acts but i would only do that bc it helped me get by my circumstances, yk? like if i was overwhelmed i would just daydream lol. its like how i read books to escape to another world. but i would say, affirming and persisting was what i focused more on.

i just used what worked for me and used his quotes as a reminder of the power of man. i didn’t want to bound myself to one’s teaching constantly worrying if im doing it “right” or not so instead, i went back to his quotes that consisted of telling me to persist, look inwards, finding confirmation in my imagination, etc whenever i needed a pick me up.

but correct me if i’m wrong, i’m pretty sure many of the success stories he shared consisted of people simply decreeing their desires and feeling the wish fulfilled simply by repetition and acceptance of their assumption.”

What is saturating your mind?

read about it here (the link is missing, but Basically it is repeating an affirmation every minute or hour until you feel fulfilled)

Do we have to believe our affirmations? Did you ever doubt the law in the process?

no, i did not believe my affirmations and YES of course i doubted the law but i kept persisting either way because what could i lose? and here i am.

Did you just affirm, persist, maintain a mental diet and that’s it? No SATS, going to the void, lullaby, repeating affirmations? Did you just got it sleep?

just affirming and persisting. sure, the occasional lullaby, i usually affirmed for 10 seconds max before i gave up. i couldn’t sleep without imagining some romantic scenario LOL #bambiexposed

How to deal with manipulation and narcissism?

remind yourself that you’re in advantage because you know about the law of assumption. life is a dream, you can literally have whatever you want just by affirming. if you know that, why allow yourself succumb to other people’s thoughts and beliefs? i couldn’t allow other people’s thoughts ruin my chance of living my dream life. the thought of it alone gave me the worst feeling.

How did you tackle the feelings of having no hope? + After being in the victim state for so long what did you do to get yourself out and actually stay out?

i persisted on loop whenever i doubted the law. i reminded myself that it doesn’t hurt to just be quiet, affirm and persist to live my dream life. just do it. you gain nothing from turning back to your old habits. see what’ll happen if you don’t give up. ❝ Do you always turn to your imagination and, no matter what happens, do you remain faithful to the state imagined? If you do, you have passed the test. But if every little rumor, doubt, or fear can move you around like a pawn on a chessboard, then you are not keeping the faith! ❞ ❝ Objects seem so independent of our perception of them that we incline to forget that they owe their origin to imagination.❞

What was the timeframe of when you got your desires?

about a week after deciding to be strict with self discipline, mind you, i was dealing with hard circumstances and intrusive thoughts for years. within this time span, i had entered sabbath so i immediately got my desires.

How did you kept a positive mindset when it looked like there was no movement?

refer back to phase 3

What was your affirming routine?

AT FIRST, when i started to get sick of overconsumption and not getting my desires, i knew my mind wasn’t saturated/my desires were not my dominant thoughts. so, i decided to be strict with myself. i reminded myself with pieces of paper in my room that said: ❝ PERSIST. new story only!❞ ❝ AFFIRM!❞

❝ 1.) the 3D conforms instantly.

2.) AFFIRM THE DESIRED

3.) BE LOT.❞

and taped them on the wall infront of my bed & one on my door so i can see it before i head out.

i didn’t need them anymore after a few days. (phase 3 & 4)

What did you do on all the days you woke up and things were still the same?

stop affirming that you don’t see results. i flipped the thought of “nothing’s changed.” to “i am in my desired reality, it is done.” and so on. be stern and remind yourself that you are in control. don’t fall prey to the 3D. turn inwards, find confirmation in the 4D. read quotes above.

How did you not react to the 3D?

i allowed myself to be angry. if i wanted to cry, i did. if i wanted to vent, i did. i ranted my feelings out in my head, aloud or in a journal then proceeded to go back to the new story after i cooled down.

But isn’t ranting “not letting the old story die out?”

you and i could rant until our minds are cleared, just as long as you flip my thoughts, you are on the right track. i ranted for 2% of my 24 hour days. the other 98% i was persisting in the fact that creation was done. as “time” went on, it began to feel more natural and i felt more at ease. i held onto that feeling because i knew this was when i would get my desires and i did. letting out and actually feeling your feelings is important. you’re not a robot.

Did you script how your life would be?

no.

(.𖥔 ݁ note from Eli: here's her post about her life before and After she changed it with LOA, anyway i wanted to make it in a post since the Google document can't let you make a copie of it and plus you can't take screenshots which René didn't allow)

[seat-safety-switch]

"So nobody has any idea why they're placed on Earth, what they're supposed to be doing, or what their life means?" asked the hyper intelligent robot that I had accidentally built from junkyard scraps.

"Yeah," I said before taking a swig of my canned coffee. "Sucks," I raced to add empathetically.

Don't think that I was being callous. I had recently reheated the coffee with the cigarette lighter from my '88 Daewoo LeMans, and I did not want to waste that precious thermal energy discussing philosophy with a being made in my own image. Besides, he was getting a little big for his britches. When I built this robot, he was given a clearly-defined purpose (mow the lawn) and now here he is complaining about his lot in life.

"Why don't you do something about it?" asked the robot, as if there was something to be done.

Sure, the sentience was a bit of a surprise. That's what you get for throwing together one of these things in the middle of a lightning storm. I figured I'd be safe in the junkyard, but when this thing got el-zappo'd by the mighty fury of clouds rubbing together, it was still enough energy that my phone stayed hot to the touch for an hour or two after I realized I had inadvertently given birth to artificial life, the pinnacle of human achievement. Again, that pinnacle was complaining at me, and I had to figure out something to say to make it shut up.

"Why don't you do something about it?" I spat back, and then finished the can, lifting it aloft in the air to drain the last few molecules of Japanese-Colombian brew perfection.

By the time I lowered the can again, the robot was nowhere to be seen. Every day, I check the newspapers, just in case he turns up having robbed a monastery or a church or something in the pursuit of his great truth. Some have proposed that my robot has in fact taken it up with my creator, but I have my doubts. I simply did not build it well enough to do that. All I know is that when I find him, I sure hope he's still got that 10mm box wrench I left inside his chest cavity.

[kingofthewilderwest]

To everyone who asked, and to everyone who didn't:

Yes. I have somewhere between 1,000 and 2,000 of TwoSet's videos, all in HD quality. LINK BELOW

Earlier this year in 2024, I downloaded every single TwoSet Violin public video from their YouTube and scoured other sites like Bilibili and Facebook to get videos they'd deleted from at least one platform. My goal was to make some fandom compilation videos that'd require going through every video.

I do not have the last few months of 2024 (which I'm kicking myself for... I literally almost did a download update on SUNDAY). But I have almost everything.

2 mil, 3 mil, 4 mil, Fantasia, Hilary Hahn or Ray Chen collabs, Producer Shaun, professional versus beginner, violin charades, that cheeky skit you shared on Facebook in 2016

Their world tour VODs, including my own personal captures of their latest VOD stream

Some of the content from their Facebook kickstarter livestreams that I found from other fans.

I've been collecting all their TikTok videos currently, too. I've downloaded a spattering of their Instagram stories from 2024 and might have a small collection of recent Instagram videos, too.

I do not have everything, but I have a fuckton and I want to share it with as many people as possible, and collaborate with as many people as possible to fill in the missing pieces.

Please contact me if you have your own archives or know people working on other archives. I'm talking with a few people about starting a Google Drive project, but I don't know the big names in the TSV fandom and thus could be missing out on people who've done a lot of other work

It's more likely that this will clear over in the coming days / weeks / month / whatever and we'll have their official channel again. I'm still going to keep believing that. But it doesn't erase the importance of making sure the media we love doesn't become lost media. I have respect for content creators to monitor what does and doesn't stay on their platform, but for the sake of preservation of media, for the sake of helping a community, I want to make sure this archive is in place and widely accessible to TwoSetters.

My current cloud server is VERY MUCH a work in progress. I am in the middle of an extremely busy week and trying to do this around an office job and a half. It will take me time to upload everything, and even more time to organize everything. But the cloud server link is active, and I will keep people updated about the progress of my archiving through a PDF text file (not yet uploaded) in said cloud. If I collaborate with people for Google Drive systems, if I do other backups, I will let people know there and on my other social media accounts.

I am new and naive to Terabox. I started with Terabox because it's free to upload up to a terabyte of content. I think it should be free to download everything in full quality, but I don't know. People should inform me how it works. It's currently -- I'm sorry -- VERY poorly organized and requires Scrolling (TM), but short of that issue (which will be fixed with organization), I hope it gets people what they need.

Also: Reddit has suspended me for a few days lol (really I'm getting a slap on the wrist for how blatantly I was marching about), so if people want to start spreading this link to others in private chats elsewhere with known TwoSetters, the more the merrier! The purpose of this is to be a resource, either short-term or long-term.

[ametistacollinsworld]

𖤓 V, J and N x Child! Realistic Human drone! Reader 𖤓

My 66 request! I hope it's good!!! >:3

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

You don't remember exactly when you were created, who your creator was… or what your purpose was…

You just remember waking up one day with no memories and your entire spaceship shaking violently while the control panel let out several error noises or loud heat warnings that scared you, which made you curl up in the fetal position under one of the control tables and closing your eyes being scared. The next thing you knew, the spaceship crashed hard against the ground, making you hit your head against the table and fly to the ceiling of the spaceship before ending up face down on the floor, which made you whimper.

★ᯓ Some time later ᯓ★

You don't know how long it's been since you arrived at this place, maybe a few hours? You really had no idea.

Luckily (or unluckily) for you, you started to hear the sounds of footsteps approaching where you were, followed by 3 voices that seemed to be discussing something that you unfortunately couldn't hear very well from inside the ship. You soon heard a loud noise coming from the direction where the door was, followed by a loud 'BAM' sound!

"Look for any sign of another group being here. We don't want them to possibly stay in our already designated patrol area. You look inside the spaceship since you're a useless N, while me and V will look around for any clues." A female voice with a superior and somewhat bossy tone spoke loudly followed by a "Right!" feminine voice and an "Okay!" masculine voice.

You huddled further under the table if possible, trying to control your breathing so you wouldn't get caught… Which soon proved useless after a few minutes, as you locked eyes with a pair of yellow eyes belonging to the male murder drone that was now lowered, looking straight at your small, cowering humanoid figure. He seemed to sense your nervousness.

"O-Oh! Hey little one! Y-you… you're not a real human… are you? Uh…" N spoke quickly, rambling softly approaching a hand slowly towards your small figure, the that you pulled away from his touch still feeling scared.

"Oh… I'm sorry little one. I didn't even introduce myself, did I? My name is N! What's your name?" N asked calmly giving you a smile trying to make you feel more comfortable with him.

"(Y/n)…" You said softly looking at him shyly, which he gave you a content smile.

"(Y/n)? What a cool name! How about you come down from there so I can see you better?" N asked with a soft beam, still trying not to scare you, which seemed to work, as you crawled closer to him holding his winter coat in your little hands, which he screamed internally, finding you adorable.

"Okay (Y/n), can I hold you?" N asked with a soft tone stroking your head slowly. You just nodded receiving a happy smile from him, feeling him take you into his arms and hold you against his chest.

"Uh- J? V? I think I found something…" N spoke out loud for the female drones to hear. Some grumbling from the leader was heard.

"I hope it's really important or I'll rip your legs off N!" J spoke in the distance, not seeming to be satisfied with N's vague announcement.

"Oh biscuits-…" N spoke softly seeing the two female drones flying towards the two of you.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ Time break

Well, we can say that J and V were at least surprised by the new discovery made by the male drone, V just watched you from afar with confusion and curiosity… while J didn't even make a sarcastic comment about N! He was safe from J… for now.

"Well? What should we do with them? They're clearly not a real human- at least that's what my sensors indicate… but they still look like a small child…" V spoke with an uninterested tone, but with a hidden hint of worry for what might happen to you if they left you behind.

"Well, my sensors indicate the same result- So I guess it's a fact." J spoke with her grumpy tone, but now with a thoughtful expression as she looked at your small figure who seemed to have fallen asleep. N sighed softly at the words of the two drones.

"S-So? What are we going to do with them? They can't stay here, they're just a kid! Can we keep them?" N asked quickly with a worried expression, not wanting to lose his new friend, meanwhile stroking your hair slowly so as not to wake you, which J rolled her eyes at his actions.

"Of course we'll keep them. Even though they're not a real human, they were still inside the company's spaceship… so they must be one of ours. We must take care of them." J spoke slowly, giving N a look that told him to keep quiet and not interrupt her. V turned away to hide the small smile that formed on her lips, she was happy that you were safe.

"Really?! Thanks J! I'll be the best caretaker in the world!" N initially spoke in an excited tone, but soon calmed down remembering that you were sleeping, giving a happy smile to J and then to your sleeping form.

"Don't thank me. I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing this for the company." J spoke with a tone of disgust, rolling her eyes once again and crossing her arms.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ Time break

We can say that the small group quickly became attached to you, treating you as a true kid to them.

N from the beginning, has adored you, finding you adorable and wanting to take care of you, becoming your full-time caregiver, as well as hunting down Worker drones to feed him and you fresh oil! He almost threw a cute fit when you called him 'Papa' for the first time, so you're definitely a weakness of his. :)

V also thought you were cute from the beginning, but having to maintain the 'feelingless psychopath' mask and try not to interact with you too close to the other two so as not to raise suspicions. When the other two left her to take care of you, she loved to play with you, tickling you or kissing your cheeks, making you laugh. She was touched when you called her 'Mama', thinking you were the cutest thing she could have ever known.

J… well, we can say that she didn't really know what to feel about you, but other than that, she also tried her best to take care of you, whether it was for the company or not, and over time she warmed up and became more protective of you, giving you the title 'Little assassin in training'. She was a little embarrassed when you called her 'Mama' for the first time, but then she liked it and said it was okay if you wanted to call her that.

They were a bit shocked when they discovered the killer part of you on the loose, taking place on one of their many Worker drone hunts, where N was watching you and suddenly you had transformed into something less humanoid and more robotic and was following J and V… and in the blink of an eye you were in front of them both and already ended up with an entire colony alone. They were surprised, but kind of proud too-

Basically 1 new papa and 2 new mamas for you :]

[channieskies]

HOLOGRAPHIC LOVER

Pairing: Non-Idol|Chris/Bang Chan x Cam-Girl(AFAB)|Reader (You, she, her)

Synopsis: Introduced to an adult content creator by his roommate, Chris falls for her allure. But soon, he realizes she may be closer than he imagined.

Genre: Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Non-Idol AU

Warnings: MINORS DNI! This post contains nsfw material. Please do not interact with it if you are under the age of 18. Do not translate or repost to other sites. ⚠️ NSFW warnings are under the cut.

Authors Note: Hi! So, let me start off by saying that I did little to no research for this project, so a lot of things may be incorrect in terms of virtual sex work or the camming world. This is technically four chapters, but I didn't feel like breaking them up into parts. But I hope you enjoy it either way.

Special thanks: to my friends Jay and @edanzgarden for reading over things for me. And extra special thanks to @therhythmafterthesummer for all the support and encouragement.

Word Count: 15,000+ {60+ min reading time}

Disclaimer: This story does not reflect the real lives or personalities of Stray Kids. I do not know them personally. This is purely a work of fiction.

MINORS DNI

"I wanted to see how it'd look." He shyly answered.

"Just how it'd look?" It was like you were purposely throwing matches at him when he was already doused in gasoline. He was seconds from being ablaze.

You put the pillow aside and stood to your feet, making your way around to the back of his chair. You leaned in just to whisper, "Don't you want to know how it feels, Chris?"

NSFW Warnings⚠️: Mentions of sex work, mention of curves (reader is implied as curvy), breeding, use of pet names, unprotected sex [PIV] (please wrap it before you tap it), creampie, cum play, fingering, masturbation [both fem & male], spanking, use of adult toys, virtual sex, oral sex (fem receiving), slight degredation, choking, use of sir, talk of anal and anal play, talk of shokushu goukan, mentions of religion, (please let me know if I missed any)

_______________________________________________

Adulting should be made a crime. At least, that's how you felt at the moment. Why you decided to move into an apartment building with no elevator was beyond you. You clutched the box in your hands tightly as you peered over the top to navigate up the stairs to the fifth floor. It was moving day.

You had finally secured enough income to move out of the off-campus university housing you shared with a close friend and into your own space. Somewhere, you could finally let your hair down, a space to make and call your own.

You let out a sigh of relief as you arrived at your door, apartment 516, placing the box at your feet. The back and forth, up and down the stairs all day, had definitely puckered you out. Sweat pooled over your brows. You were drenched. Next time, you'd hire movers because there was no way you'd do this by yourself again. You grabbed the hem of your shirt and used it to dab away some of the sweat, exposing your midriff to the hallway air.

A throat cleared, startling you. "It's considered indecency when you're in the company of others." Your brows creased in confusion as you looked towards the opposite end of the hallway. An older woman clutched her bag closer to her body, and a dog's head popped out. It was uncanny, the resemblance between the two, both pomeranian and owner.

"I'm sorry -" she waved, dismissing anything you were about to say.

"You have to realize that hallways are public spaces and -" a door opened, causing her to pause. Your gaze followed hers, and a lump immediately formed in your throat. Feet shuffled out of the apartment right across from yours. Your eyes shifted from the black socks and sandals, up the small sliver of leg, to the hem of the very worn basketball shorts. You quickly averted your eyes when they came in contact with what you assumed to be a semi.

"Good morning." The voice was groggy, but it finally drew your attention to the face of the new stranger, your neighbor. He had soft looking, plump lips, a large yet defined nose, and his curly hair covered his eyes. But even with all that, you could still tell he was attractive.

"Christopher, it is well after three in the afternoon." You guessed the older woman had now found a new target to nag.

"I'm aware, Agnes. But it's still impolite not to greet someone when you first see them." He shot a smile your way as the old- well Agnes opened and closed her mouth like a fish. She glared at him, then you, before huffing and heading down the hall to the stairs, with her pomeranian in tow. The click-clack of her heels dissipated as she got further and further away. He sighed, "Sorry about her. She's been like that since her husband Stanley died a few years back. He was quite literally her better half," his lips curled, and that's when you noticed the dimples. Why was this man so handsome?

He extended a hand, "I'm Chris." It seemed like time and space had actually come to a halt, his hand still there between you. You could hear your heart beating in your ears, but honestly hoped you were the only one it was audible to. You took a moment to finish assessing the man in front of you. Your thoughts immediately took a turn as you stared at his extended hand. They would honestly look really nice as a necklace.

Your eyes traveled up his arms, his veins like a road map to heaven. He cleared his throat again. Trying your best to play it off, you took his hand and smiled. You totally weren’t obvious in checking him out. “Nice to meet you, Chris.” He bit back a smile as you stood there shaking his hand for much longer than you should have. “Ah- right, sorry- I’m Y/n. I’m just moving in.” You finally let go, letting your hand fall to your side. He looked past you at the box on the floor.

“I noticed,” He straightened back up. “Need any help?”

Though the offer was kind, and you wished you could have the privilege of spending a little more time with him, that was the last box. “Last box.” You motioned towards it. “But thanks for the offer.” You flashed a reassuring smile, and he nodded.

“Well, feel free to let me know if you need anything. I’m usually at home. And if I’m not, one of my roommates is, and I’m sure they would love to help as well.” He sunk his hands in his pockets. Clearly, not everyone in the building was as kind as he was, Agnes was proof enough. Either way, you appreciated the kind gesture.

“I’ll make sure to remember that… the same goes for you…” You had to look away. His gaze was too intense for the hallway first meeting. “I-uh, I should go,” you shyly tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear. “It was really nice to meet you, Chris.” He smiled again, and you swear your knees almost buckled.

“You too, Y/n” Your name sounded like the sweetest symphony coming off his lips. No one had ever made your name sound so pretty.You hoped your ears had betrayed you and that you didn’t hear yourself whimper.

Your eyes went wide as you backed up a little too far, tripping over the box. You closed your eyes and hoped that the ground would open up and swallow you whole from embarrassment. But unfortunately, that did not happen. Instead, you were quickly grabbed up into strong arms before you could hit the ground. You peeked an eye open, only to be met with his beautiful face up close. You could finally see his eyes and just how much they sparkled. “Pretty….”

A faint blush dusted his cheeks, and he helped stand you upright. “You okay?” He checked to make sure you weren’t hurt, looking you over.

“Physically, yes.” Emotionally? You were a total wreck. You swore you heard the famous G.T.A. ‘Wasted’, play in the background while you tripped. Your inner confidence had been absolutely decimated by the beautiful guy from next door.

The silence let the awkwardness set in. You nodded, “Well, thanks for saving my life twice.” He laughed, his little giggles sending heat right through your body.

“Anytime.”A smile was still plastered to his face as he started walking backward. “I’ll see you around, Y/n.” And with that, he headed down the corridor to the stairs.

_______________________________________________

Once you had everything settled and your essentials out of the boxes, you ordered food and ate on your makeshift living chair. Milk crates really came in handy when you couldn’t afford furniture. Between gathering your first and last month's rent, plus the new streaming set-up you purchased from your friend, money was scarce. Really, if you called yourself broke, broke would laugh in your face right now. You were lucky to have a comfortable place to sleep and the internet to keep yourself entertained. All the other creature comforts could come later down the line when you’ve made a little more money.

You had to set your schedule accordingly around your move in date. But it didn’t occur to you just how much walking up and down five flights of steps would do you in. But you had business to take care of, despite just wanting to relax and watch back to back episodes of “Is it cake?” You sighed after checking the time. You had about an hour and a half to get yourself dressed and ready for work in your new space. “Let's make this money.”

After a shower and shuffling through a few boxes of clothes to get a matching outfit (and not some thrown together monstrosity), you settle down in front of your computer.You have been an onlyfans content streamer for a few years now. You initially started your page out of pure curiosity. A friend of yours had started one, and she ended up dropping out of school to pursue it full time. Though you were making a nice chunk of change, you never had the intention of dropping out to be a full-time sex worker. Even if the money made it super tempting.

It was just a nice side hustle that brought in enough cash for you to afford a slightly better life. University loans were not going to pay themselves, and the sooner you'd be able to pay them off, the better. Plus, it was nice having the extra money to do little things for yourself now and again, without having to send word home that you were in need. Call it stubbornness or whatever you'd like. You just didn't like feeling like you owed other people. So OnlyFans would do while you pursued a higher education.

XOAnime_babeXO

You loved to cosplay, but these days, it was rare for you to attend a con or even take pictures in your very intricately designed costumes. You loved the process. Finding a character you loved, buying the fabric, and whatever else you needed to execute the costume. Then, wear the costume and try your best to emulate the character. Acting was second nature to you, so that wasn't a problem. Once everything was put together, strangely, you felt like yourself. Pretending to be someone or something else for a few hours was somehow comforting to you. So your transition from cosplay streamer to OnlyFans content creator was less of a jump than it was originally thought it to be.

Your first few streams had less than five people in them, but the more you went live, the more attention you garnered. But it wasn’t until you did a collaboration with your friend who originally introduced you to the platform, that's when things started to take off. It wasn’t anything too risque. It was just the two of you sitting down to chat about your favorite anime character, dressed in your favorite cosplay. You did a tier list for FMK and had a very small make-out session before mutually masterbating with your vibrating wands. But with the number of followers she had, you couldn’t help but get eyes on you from there. And as some would say, the rest is history.

You had finally found your sweet spot. Streaming once a day, Tuesday through friday. The length usually varied but usually lasted between an hour and a half to two hours. But there was a rare exception where a chatter would ask for something that would last a bit longer. One time, a stream ended after four hours because of a request. But that was far and few in between. You were honestly just doing something that you liked all while making enough money to support yourself.

“Hey babes, I hope you didn’t miss me too much.” You started all your streams pretty much the same. Greet your chatter's before you’d go off into whatever scenario you had planned for the night. Tonight, you were dressed in black latex. To say it was form fitting would be an understatement. Dressed in your Reika from Gantz:0 cosplay, with your matching midnight black, waist length wig. A few in the chat knew immediately who you were, but for the most part, reactions were a little ambiguous.

But that part never really mattered. As long as you and your chatters had a good time on stream, it didn't matter if they liked the coplay or not. That part was for you. It was the little part of you that you got to share. "I have something special planned for you guys tonight." You were giddy, trying to contain your excitement. Your chatters didn't know that you lurked in the chat after almost every show. Unless, of course, you were too tired.

A few nights ago, a long-time chatter, Ji.oneHunnit, mentioned he was into tentacles. How he would love to see you with one in each of her holes.Though it would take some preparation, you figured you'd indulge him. Just like you made most of your outfits, you made all the accessory tentacles and even made the sound effects you'd play in the background. "I heard someone was into tentacle porn…"

You softly smiled, "Let's see what happens when my gun goes out, and I just can't seem to fight anymore." Role-playing was a favorite of yours. It didn't matter how ridiculous or overly dramatic it seemed. You'd give it your all no matter what. Even if it meant mounting and configuring random tentacles around your room on strings for you to fight.

The fight was honestly comical, but you put in your best effort. Your gun 'died', and you were left defenseless. With a large hole in the crotch of your suit form the fight, you fell to your back, still trying to fight off the tentacles, only for one, conveniently attached to a fucking machine, to slip into your cunt. While another slipped into your mouth. You left it up to the chat how fast the machine could go and hoped this fulfilled more than just one chatter's needs.

_______________________________________________

Chris came home from the studio to a lively house. "I can't believe she did that for me.. hyung, she just… she just knew my fantasy and fulfilled it." Jisung, his roommate, was talking a mile a minute to their other roommate who was trying to order dinner off some app.

"I was in the chat room with you, Ji, I remember." He chuckled. 

"But - do you know how it feels? For her to fulfill a fantasy that you didn’t ask her to?" He sighed, flopping down onto the couch with a lovey-dovey expression on his face. "I think I love her." All his friend could do was chuckle while Chris looked more than confused.

He had kicked off his shoes and put them away before stepping into the living room. "What did I miss? Who is it you love?"

Changbin, who had been vehemently searching for something to fill his stomach, widens his eyes in the direction of his friend and roommate. "Don't get him started." He mouthed, but it was far too late. 

"There is this cam-girl. She's sorta like my other half that doesn't know she's my other half -" Changbin cut his eyes in Jisungs direction. "What? She is!" He half pouted as he talked. "We are both subscribed to her. And we sometimes watch her together - not in the same room, but like- "y'know at the same time. I know she does this wish fulfillment thing every once in a while. But it had been a few weeks since she last did it. So it was unexpected. Today… She fulfilled a long-time fantasy of mine. It was mind-blowing.. and special, and I just…Hyung listen.." 

Jisung went off on an almost too descriptive recollection of events. Detailing even the smallest of things that happened, like how one of the tentacles swung in front of the camera while she was orgasming and nearly scared him to death. "..and I don't even know where the alien goo kept coming from, but that shit was fucking awesome!" Chris had never heard anything like that in his life. And though that wasn't necessarily his cup of tea, he wasn't going to yuck his friends yum. 

Changbin sat his phone down, deciding to look when everyone could get together and figure things out, "She fulfilled my wish a month ago." Chris looked over at him in anticipation. While Changbin and Jisung had similarities, they were also very, very different people. "Flexible play and double penetration." Chris's ear perked up, and he nodded for him to go on. "She came on stream, all oiled up and body stretched. She showed just how flexible she could be. She even fucked that amazing ass of hers for me." He smirked while Jisung nodded in agreement.

"She seems like she cares about us. When I was sick a few months ago, she dm'd me to make sure I was okay. I'm telling you… I love her." Jisung went off on another tangent.

Chris sat for a minute and thought about it. His favorite streamer had started to taper off on her content. So, he definitely needed something else to focus on. Since flings and one night stands were off the table due to a scare. Watching porn and cams were the only things that filled his time, sexually. After a four year relationship, which ended very badly, and a string of flings with too many broken hearts attached. He just settled on being by himself for a while. What was the use of being unhappy both emotionally and physically? No one quite scratched the itch like he needed. He could do a better job with his own hand.

Later that night, Chris sat in front of his computer, the cursor blinking at the top of his incognito page. He checked to make sure his vpn was on at least three times before proceeding. He looked down at the horribly scribbled url Jisung provided him. "The hell does this even say…"

Chris's door clicked open, "X-o Anime underscore babe x-o. It's all one word"

The door clicked closed again after Jisung loudly whispered to him. He was going to have to learn to lock his door if he wanted to prevent this from happening again. He sighed loudly, shaking his head before he typed her name in the search. She popped up immediately.

He could see her last stream was certified hot. The sticker was there to prove it. He clicked on her page, her banner that the top was pretty simple. It was just a photo of her lying on her side in a very sexy sailor moon costume. You just couldn't see her face. Her bio was also pretty straightforward.

Just her age and the country she was from. He continued to scroll down, looking through her recent videos to see if any tugged him in their direction. He perused for a bit before one short video caught his eye. It wasn't a stream. It was just a video she posted.

It seemed to be golden hour, and she was out on her balcony on a sun lounger. There was just something about the way the sun hit her skin, making her glow as if she was otherworldly, that reminded him of home. One thing he missed was beach days, how he could spend all day there without a care in the world. He quickly clicked.

The video started off with her adjusting the camera so all you could see was from her mouth down. She was simply dressed in a black tank and matching thong with a sheer panel right over her mound. You could see the wetness sticking to the fabric. Her balcony was lightly decorated with plants, a wind chime, and fairy lights that were already on, though the sun hadn't fully set.

"I have to be quiet… I think my neighbor is home." She put a finger to her lips before letting out a cute giggle. "Wouldn't want to get caught, now would we?" She pulled out a rose quartz dildo and slid it in her mouth to get it wet. She pulled it out with a pop. "I like to get off to the music he makes. Hopefully, we get to hear him sing today."

She put up a finger and like clockwork the neighbor started to play music. It seemed as if the window or door was cracked because you could hear it very faintly. She slid her panties to the side and spread her legs. She trailed the toy up and down her slit, catching some of her wetness on it. That's when the neighbor started singing.

It was almost like it was rehearsed. She pushed the toy in, leaning her head back, giving the camera a view of her neck and slack jaw. She moaned lightly, sounds mixing with the neighbors' eerily familiar voice. She moved faster as the song started to pick up rhythm.

Her brows were knit together as she bit down hard to stifle her moan so as not to get caught. Her black thong stained white with her cream as she continued to pound into herself. The lyrics started to sound a little bit clearer as if the neighbor was moving about the room, easing closer to their own balcony.

"Cause when you give me a glance, I'm sure that I see the universe in your eye…" Chris froze. There was no way. He went back to the beginning of the video where she was setting up and paused on the frame where you could see most of her outdoor space. He pushed his chair back and got up, walking right out his sliding door and looking at Y/n's neighboring balcony.

"Well fuck me…" It was her. She was the cam-girl that Jisung was obsessed with. The girl who he was just watching stuff herself with a rose colored, glass dildo. It seemed as if it was on cue that she walked out, mug of something in hand. She glanced over and gave him a smile that almost short circuited his brain.

"Hey Chris!" She waved. He stood there for a second, not being able to process the events that just unfolded before him.

"O-oh.. Hey.. Y/n." He stuttered. "Ni-nice weather we are having, yeah?" She gave him an incredulous look before she chuckled it off.

"Yeah, it's perfect." She walked out a little more, leaning against the railing. That's when he noticed her attire. It was damn near the same thing she had on in the video.

Only this time, her ass was on full display to him. He had to almost will himself to look away. "Yeah… absolutely perfect." He cleared his throat. He could feel himself getting harder as the seconds passed by. As if he wasn't already hot from watching her masturbate. "I'll see you around, okay?"

She tore her eyes away from looking out onto the lit up city nighttime skyline to him. "Have a good night, Christopher."

He nearly bolted back into his room, shutting the door, locking it, then closing the blinds as if she could see past the glass. As if she could see him. His heart felt as if it would beat out of his chest as he paced his room. The panic was setting in. She liked masturbating to his music? The fuck was that? He hadn't even realized she knew he did music, let alone, liked it enough to fuck herself to it.

The blood seemed to rush back and forth from his cock to his brain and back again. He needed to sit. He plopped on the edge of his bed, entirely too far gone to properly process this information overload. How often had she… played with herself to his voice? Something in his mind told him not to go down that rabbit hole, but he just could find it in him to help himself. He migrated back to his computer chair and started his search through her videos. It was going to be a long night.

_______________________________________________

Shame. That's what he thought he should have felt at that moment. But the emotion never washed over him. The second he found out the truth about her, it should have pushed his cape of truth and morals forward. It should have stopped him from going down this route. But again, it did not. He descended into the pits of hell, watching almost every single video from the start of her channel until the last few weeks, where he started to join her lives.

He was close to obsession at this point. Nearly memorizing all her moans and moves. The things he knew she'd do to herself to tip herself over the edge. The things he wanted to do to her to get the same reaction. He should have felt shame. He really should have. But he couldn't find it in him, not right now. Not on this Friday evening. Not when she would be live soon. No, instead, he found himself with his hand gripping his member through his shorts as he bit down roughly on his lip.

From the moment he first laid eyes on her, he knew he was in trouble. She was gorgeous. Curvy, beautiful eyes, and kissable lips. Soft skin. He couldn't be normal about her. There was no way he would be able to do anything platonically when it came to her. No. He was smitten at first sight. Then, to feel her in his arms, even if he was just catching her before she fell, he wanted to feel that again. To hold her again.

But now here he was, typing the oh so familiar name into the search bar on OnlyFans, anticipating the show she would give tonight. All week, it was all he could think about, even with her streaming almost every night. Every blink, every breath was filled with thoughts of her. His eyes widened when he realized she was already live. He quickly clicked on her room. His arousal heightened when he saw what she had on.

Her tiny, pleated, black leather skirt left little to the imagination. The black mock garter stockings that peaked from underneath seemed to dig into the flesh of her supple thighs. Her shirt was slightly unbuttoned to where you could get a glimpse of her lacy bra. Every time she shifted forward, the cross hanging from her neck would catch the light, only to disappear into her cleavage when she leaned back.

He moved his boxers and shorts down to free his hardened cock. His fingers circling the tip absentmindedly as he listened to her talk. "I promise I'm a good girl. I don't know why I find myself in trouble as often as I am. Look at what the nun did to me today." She turned around and with little to no effort she revealed her ass to the camera. It was red from what one would assume to be a flogging. She leaned forward, arching her back a little to show off not only the fact that she had no panties on, but also that she was soaked.

He groaned. She had absolutely no right to be this sexy. "It's so sore I can barely sit down. I wish you were here to rub it for me… help me ease the pain." She laid her torso on the floor and reached back to rub her reddened ass cheek, and he damn near lost it. Hell, he wished he was there to help her ease the pain as well. She at least deserved that. His mind drifted off to just how she got the marks in the first place. He knew she hadn't left the apartment in hours. He would have heard the front door shut. And no one had visited from what he could tell, either.

Did she really paddle herself before she went live? If so, she could have asked for help. He was always more than willing to lend her a helping hand. He told her that the first time they met, and he meant it. The same hands that would have helped her prep that tight little cunt and ass while he was at it. He groaned, loud. Almost forgetting he shared his space with three other people and a wall with the very streamer he was about to get off to. But that was something he could address later, that is, if he was heard. "I wish it was you who caught me and not that stupid, mean nun." She whined and it pulled him from his thoughts.

"Would you have been able to stop yourself when I started to whimper and beg? Or would that have turned you on?" She moved her body a little so you could see that part of her face that wasn't obstructed by her mask. "... it turned me on, imagining it was you…" She spread her arousal, soaked lips, "See how wet I am, just thinking about you making me your good girl.." The chat was going a mile a minute. He sat up and typed something in, free hand still languidly tugging his length.

WildWolf1003: You deserve to be rewarded after taking such a beating, baby girl. How are you going to reward yourself for being such a good girl?

She answered a few other questions before getting to him. "Thank you for thinking I'm a good girl, Wolfie…" She hummed and lightly wiggled her ass as she thought. "Maybe I should use that toy you sent me last month as a reward? Or is that too much?" His cock twitched at the thought. Yes, it was a bit of a self indulgent gift. But what man with the means wouldn't send a replica of their dick to a girl who definitely deserved it? A well crafted, hand painted replica, at that. Plus, who needed to know he lived right next door? She surely didn't. He made sure to send it from the town over and ship it with no return address.

She giggled as the chat roared with questions about what her affectionately named wolfie had gotten her. "Let me show you…" she moved out of the frame momentarily and returned with her full-length mirror and the life-like, suction cup dildo. Chris braced himself. He moved his hands to grip the armrest of his computer chair, letting his member rest as she set everything up. He didn't want to make the mistake of cumming before she even got started.

It took her a few minutes to get everything configured, coming back into frame fully. "Sorry for the wait. I hope you aren't too mad. I took so long." She pouted a bit, and he could have sworn his heart clenched. "I should spank myself because I took so long?" Her pout deepened as she read the chat, "But Wolfie said I was a good girl.. I- Fine, ButtHunter." She crossed her arms under her chest, pushing her cleavage up. "How many hits? Do you want me to use my hands or something else?"

Chris watched patiently as she fulfilled the others' requests. His eyes would shift from her to the gift he got her and down to his engorged member. He would wait as long as he needed to, just as long as she wanted. She bent back over, the marks on her ass from before were long gone. The chat requested that she spank herself 25 times for the five minutes they had to wait, plus the fact that they wanted her cheeks as red as they were before.

She truthfully took it like a champ. Each hit made her cheek a little redder than the previous one. She struggled towards the end but got through it nonetheless. "That wasn't very nice of you, ButtHunter." She pouted again, causing his dick to twitch yet again. It took everything in him not to touch his length in hopes she'd get to reward herself like he wanted. "Can I please have my reward now? I've been good all day.. I even gave myself twenty-five extra licks…" God that pout of hers would be the death of him one day. How could you not want to give her what she wanted?

Ji.oneHunnit: Let her have her reward. She's been punished enough…

JUT.dae: I don't think that ass of hers could take any more of a beating. Gosh, I wish I could kiss it better..

She perked up reading a few of the comments in her favor. "Thank you." She stifled a smile by biting her lip. She moved, grabbing something out of view of the camera. Returning with a bottle of lube. "I'm going to be honest. This is a little bigger than what I'm used to…" She poured the lube in a thick glob. "I hope it fits… Wolfie." He almost came untouched. He groaned again, hands reaching to tug on his curls.

"Fuck…" Just the thought of his cock stretching her tight heat, did things to him. Even if he wouldn't be able to feel it, that toy was an extension of him, his member. He couldn't wait to see how her tight cunt wrapped around it. This was for sure going to give him plenty of material for his spank bank. He hadn't even realized he had closed his eyes and started to touch himself again. When he opened them again she was stroking the toy, almost mirroring the way he was. His eyes rolled back at the sight.

"I can't just sit on you, you know that, right? I have to make sure we are both ready….." Her other hand was between her legs, doing only what he could assume was, touching herself. Getting her hole ready to be stretched. She stayed like that for a few minutes while interacting with the chat. "Okay… ass your tits.. which would you rather be in your face?" Of course ButtHunter was the first to answer with ass. There were a few who went for tits. But she wasn’t satisfied.

"What about you, Wolfie? It's your gift. How do you want me?" The way the sex oozed from her lips honestly made his mind a little hazy. Her tits were great. Beautiful, really. But the thought of her gripping his desk as he bounced her up and down his length right there in his computer chair just hit different.

WildWolf1003: Normally, I wouldn't care, but the way your ass looks in that skirt tonight…

She smirked. She knew what she was doing to the people in this room. She wore that skirt with intention. Planned that scenario with intention. Even flogged her own ass prior to streaming, with intention.

WildWolf1003: Ass, please, pretty girl.

She just nodded, turning around and situating herself above the toy. She teased herself at first, rubbing it between her pussy lips, smacking it against her clit. All while keeping an innocent smile on her lips. Every movement she made, Chris tried his best to duplicate. He immersed himself in the scene. Pretending that he in fact was the one who punished her. His hands were the ones that left all of those pretty red marks on her ass.

Only to find out that she was pantiless under that very, very short skirt. A flogging just wouldn't be enough, not for his pretty girl. No, she needed to be punished even more. She needed to be stretched and filled till she begged for him to stop. But he wouldn't stop. No. He'd keep going until his pretty girl was leaking with a mixture of their juices. All the remnants that he couldn't fuck deeper into her."It's… its so big…" she really was struggling to even get the tip in.

She received encouragement from the chat as she continued to try to slip the tip into her tight hole. She pulled away from it and pushed two lubed fingers in, scissoring them to loosen herself up. "I guess I needed to stretch myself a little more before I tried to take it…" she giggled and added a third, "Hopefully, this will help." Once satisfied, stretched, and significantly wetter, she tried it again. This time, it made a little more leeway. The tip finally pushed past her entrance, slowly being enveloped by her walls.

Her pussy squelched as she slowly slid down, letting the toy stretch her. "Fuck… it's so big.." she moaned. Chris's fingers were wrapped around his cock tightly, trying his best to mimic the look of her tight walls around his toy. He reached for the warming lube with his free hand and doused it on his cock to aid in the fantasy. He teased himself while she adjusted. Boosting his volume so he could tear every whine and whimper that fell past her beautiful lips.

It took quite a few pumps before she finally seemed to relax. The tension in her muscles started to visibly diminish. She slowly started to move. Her tight walls looked as if they were sucking the toy in with thrust. Her small moans of ecstasy progressively start to fill the cozy room. Chris tried his best to keep the pace she was going at, trying his best to keep himself afloat. He was drowning. Overwhelmed by the sights and sensations. He couldn't help but think about how this was the loudest he'd ever heard her moan. And that was all because of him. It was his cock- well a toy replica of his cock, that was filling her up.

It was his toy that had her creaming all over it, grinding down on it just to get closer to euphoria.

Him. This was because of him. "You feel so…. Good.." Her voice was airy and light, and if it wasn't for him having his volume at levels that were almost dangerous for his ears, he would have never heard her. The noises he was making started to grow as well. The sound of his fist, tight around his member, drenched in precum and lube. His soft pants and groans, the tiny wines he released every once in a while."Tell me I'm a good girl… make me cum for you…"

He groaned even harder, "You're such a good girl… so… fucking good." He felt as if he was losing his mind. As if with every stroke, a little bit more of his sanity was leaving him. How could he be this gone for someone when they had barely touched, had limited contact? He needed to get a grip on reality. But the grip he had on his cock was much firmer at the moment. She smacked her ass, making it jiggle even more than it already was. The sight, the combination of the tiny skirt bouncing, her still reddened ass cheeks, the vice grip her cunt had on his toy, they were all maddening. The culmination threatened to send him straight to hell.

"Can I cum for you?" She was practically pleading. Begging, "Please baby…can your good girl cum?" He couldn't even vocalize the word, he nodded profusely, as if she could see him. She bit down hard on her lip, raggedly breathing through her nose. Her eyes rolled back as her orgasm crashed over her, her whole body violently convulsing. Her mouth fell agape, her moans silenced momentarily before she loudly moaned. It was almost loud enough to hear past the wall and the blaring volume of his earphones.

His grip tightened further, almost to the point of pain. The sounds and images before him, sending his body catapulting into space. He arched up almost out of his seat, crying out as he came. Spurts of his seed covering his hand, torso, and some even hitting his keyboard. "FU..CK…" he body fell back into the chair, causing it to roll back a little. He could swear he'd never cum so hard in his entire life. How was it possible that a cam girl, who hadn't even touched him in that way, had made him feel like this?

He sat limply in his chair, his legs gapped open. Cum covering his hands and body. Too tired to even try and make a move. His eyes were still trained on the screen, despite them desperately wanting to close. She looked just as fucked out as he felt. She sucked in a shaky breath, "That.. was amazing…" she lightly giggled as she tried to gather herself. She slowly pulled the toy from the death grip her walls had on it. The sound itself was orgasmic, the squelch, the the sound of her wall closing the space the dildo had just made for itself.

Then seeing the cream that rushed out her cunt, slowly trickling down her slit just to perish on the fuzzy white carpet. "This was the best gift ever, Wolfie…" She sweetly smiled at the camera, her eyes half lidded from exhaustion. "Thank you all for tuning in… I'm too fucking tired to continue." She giggled again, "See you again soon, babes." She blew a kiss, but it was clear she could barely move her limbs, but she somehow managed to gather enough strength to end the stream.

Chris sat there, cum now tacky and nearly dry. The chat is still going crazy, even with her screen now black. The post nut clarity was beginning to sink in. All the shame he swore he should have felt earlier? All the handful of weeks that passed by with him, watching every bit of her content? It all came rushing to him now. This was wrong. Awfully wrong. He had sent his next door neighbor a clone-a-willy of his dick, to which she fucked herself on stream. To which he explosively masturbated to. Though she seemed to be thoroughly satisfied, it still felt… wrong. What had he done? Who had he become? How the fuck was he-

"Hyung, did you see the- Holy fuck!" His roommate almost jumped out of his skin, finding him like this. His curls slick with sweat and matted to his head. Cum dried on his stomach, hand, and member. Eyes half lidded and glossy from exhaustion. Lips swollen and red from the numerous times he had bitten down on them in the past hour. His penis, flaccid against his lower abdomen. Boxer briefs and short around his knees as he sat slumped in his chair, while his mood light illuminated everything. There was no way to explain this. No way at all.

_______________________________________________

Chris felt as if he was being intercepted for an intervention. Changbin and Jisung both sat at the kitchen table as he exited his bedroom. "Hyung, can we talk with you for a minute." The look of concern on Jisung's face only made him want to turn around and close the door behind him, never to exit the comfort of his bedroom again. It had been nearly two weeks since the incident with Jisung. He hadn’t mentioned it, and there was no way in hell Chris was bringing it up.

He resigned, sighing as he trudged over to take a seat. "What's up?" The two men looked at one another, Jisung nodded for Changbin to speak first.

"Ji told me how he walked in on you a few weeks ago.." he put his hands up, "Trust me, he and I had a conversation about boundaries -"

Jisung gasped, "You sleep on Hyunjin's bed when he isn't here!"

Changbins eyes shifted from Chris to his younger friend, "He's never here! But this isn't about me." He whispered through gritted teeth.

They both went back and forth before Chris finally got fed up and intervened. "What is this about, really?"

Once their attention was back on the older male, Changbin continued. "Hyung, we just want to make sure you are alright. You know that we, "he pointed out between him and Jisung, "are always here if you need someone to talk to…. Someone to vent to…"

Jisung nodded and continued, "I thought you ascended. It didn't look like you were blinking or breathing…If your dick had’n-" Changbin slapped his hand over his mouth.

"We've never.. known you to be like this, and we are just concerned. It's normal for Ji to be like this… but you?..." Changbin trailed off. Chris understood. He had been acting strange since he found out the truth. He had truthfully become consumed by you. He tried to keep your online persona and your real life separate. Though you had this bubbly sparkling personality online. You kept to yourself for the most part offline. You dressed for comfort anytime he saw you out, and any glimpse of the made up, cosplay girl was nowhere in sight.

He had to snap out of it. Quickly before he really got in above his head.

He nodded in agreement, "I know I haven't been myself lately. But I promise I'm okay." He tried his best to put on a good face for his friends.

"Good, because I've made every excuse in the book to throw a party, and none of them have worked. So we are officially throwing a 'Chris' is back, bash.' Tonight." Changbin nodded and stood to his feet as if his last-minute announcement made any sense. He disappeared towards his room, "Invite all your friends. The festivities kick off at 10."

_______________________________________________

What kind of debauchery was going to unfold tonight? Chris had no idea, but he knew he would never be prepared enough for it. He wanted to back out, but he knew his friends would remove the door off the hinges if he even attempted. He was currently sitting in his computer chair, incognito tab open, contemplating whether or not he should watch your last stream of the week before the festivities. He could quickly pump one out and take a shower like nothing happened.

He had your page bookmarked, so it was easy to navigate right to it. Normally, you would be ready to go live, but instead, there was a notice at the top of your page.

"Sorry for the inconvenience, but there will be no live stream tonight 😔. I uploaded a video just for my babes. Hope you all enjoy it and I'll see you all next week. XoXo."

His disappointment was rather palpable. How could a prerecorded video ever make up for your lives? He sighed, leaning back in his seat. He begrudgingly clicked the video and full screened it. He slid his earphones on and immediately felt like electricity was jolting through him. The lightning was dark, and it took a while for the camera to adjust, but it did. "Hey baby…" she moaned. This felt oddly personal. Like it was meant for a significant other or something. It felt strangely like a video call.

"I miss you.. so much. It feels like forever since I've seen your face. Do you miss me too?" She must have been playing with herself. Her breathing alone gave it away. "Yeah? Well, why don't you play with me for a while? Hmm?" She pulled the thin tank she had on up over her breasts. The fingers of her free hand circled her nipple. "Are you touching yourself too?" Chris bit down on his bottom lip, trying to fight the urge to play along. "Please baby…. Play with me." She whimpered, and he broke.

He pumped some lube in his hand, and then he dipped his hand into his briefs, taking a hold of his length. Shuddering at the feeling of his own warm hand, wishing it was yours. She dipped her fingers in her mouth, sucking on them to get them nice and wet. "I wish it was you.. baby." She spoke once she pulled them out. He could only imagine she moved them to her pussy, fingers pushing through her folds to coat her clit with her spit. Her breath hitched, "I wish I could feel your touch instead of mine.." God how he wished that as well.

He wished he could fulfill all of your fantasies. All it would take was for you to tell him what you wanted, and he'd do it. ".. Your fingers are slipping inside of me to stretch me… just for you." She moaned, her mouth falling open. "You stretched me out so good last time, I doubt my pussy will be satisfied with anyone but you." The noises her fingers made as they entered and exited her wetness were starting to become the soundtrack to his life. He picked up the pace to match the speed.

"You felt so good inside me, baby. I've never been so full.." Her whimper was so loud it echoed off the wall, "I've never cum so quick…you ruined me that night.." she breathed out, fingers picking up the pace once again. "You ruined me for anyone else… I'm yours baby.."she whimpered again and he had to close his eyes. Just hearing all the noise was good enough for him. "All.. yours… only yours…" She was getting more frantic by the minute as was he. He tried his best not to think about the context of this video. That would send him off the ledge for multiple reasons.

He tried his damnedest to push all the thoughts out of his head, to focus solely on the sound of her fingers sliding in and out of her wetness."I'm so close…" He kept telling himself to focus. Not to let his mind wander to how realistic this seemed. Like how this could absolutely be a video she sent to her boyfriend. One that had been away for a while, unable to please her, to tell her how much she meant to him. "I wish you were here to fill me up…. And then fuck it deeper.." His eyes flew open. She had changed the angle of the camera, it was now fully focused on her wetness and how her now three fingers stretched her cunt.

".. Fuck it so deep so that will never come out. Tell me that'd be your gift to me, baby. Tell me you'd love to stuff me full.." It was his time to whimper. The mere thought of stuffing her full of his cum made him want to burst. "Is that what you want, baby? To fill me u-" She cried out, unable to finish her sentence. Her back arched. Legs shook. As she came around her fingers, thinking about someone breeding her. He followed soon after, he was in the same headspace. But instead of it being some random person, it was his next door neighbor. It was you. She was silent for a few minutes, taking in shaky breaths in an attempt to settle herself.

"I- can't keep cumming this hard." She chuckled, "but just the mere thought of you gets me hot, baby." She moved the camera so he could once again see her lips. "Please don't keep me waiting long. I hope to see you soon, babes." She blew a kiss and waved before the video ended. He once again was a disheveled mess, but at least this time he could move a little. He cleaned himself up with the napkins sitting at his desk, then tossed the used papers in the bin before tucking himself back into his boxers.

His phone chimed, a notification popping up letting him know he had a text.

Bin: You better not chicken out on us. This party is just as much for You as it is for me and Jisung.

Chris: Yeah, yeah. I'm getting ready. No worries.

Now, all he had to do was get up for that to be true.

_______________________________________________

By the time Chris made it out of his room, the party was already in full swing. The house lights were dimmed, but the mood lighting they had all around the living areas danced and changed color to the music. Changbin had somehow hired a DJ and a bartender to appease part goers. Chris recognized a few faces here and there, but a lot of these people were completely foreign to him.

But seeing how his roommates were mingling, he assumed they were all people they knew. He didn't mean to look like the biggest wallflower in the history of wallflowers, but he couldn't help it. His usual outgoing demeanor was replaced with that of a shy guy. He stood by the wall to the hallway that led to their rooms and bathrooms. He made sure to leave a sock on his door so no random couple would end up fucking in his bed. He bobbed his head to the music, just casually taking in the surroundings. That was until he saw you walk in. 

Stunning. Your hair was up, letting every inch of your face shine like it should. Your curves were on full display. Your outfit added to your mysterious allure. A black corset top to accentuate your beautiful breasts while tugging in your waist. Your black mini skirt was definitely short, but it still left something to the imagination. All while hugging your curves perfectly. He couldn't take his eyes off you, not that he would have anyway. You giggled at something the guy on your arm said - Chris's brows furrowed. 

Did you have a boyfriend? You smacked the guy's chest as you continued to laugh, and his heart sank. Though he had talked with you several times in the halls, there was never any segue into personal information like,  if you were dating or not. He felt stupid. It wasn't a hard question to ask, and asking it would have spared his feelings.. probably. He saw Jisung walk up to you both, giving each of you hugs. His confusion deepened. How did you know Jisung, and why had he never mentioned he knew you? Jisung motioned in Chris's direction, causing the man to freeze. What was he doing?

You, your guy friend, and Jisung pushed thro the crowd and over to him. "Hyung, have you met our neighbor?" From the time Jisung pointed Chris out, you hadn't looked away. Chris hadn't taken his eyes off you either.

"I have." He couldn't help how taken by her he sounded, even if he tried to come off as nonchalant. "How are you, Y/n?" Your shy smile made his heart melt.

"I've been alright. I've been a little busy this week, but I'm glad I get a few hours to unwind." It honestly felt like they were the only ones in the room, even with an apartment full of people.

Jisung cleared his throat, "Right… This is Felix. They are both friends from when I was in school. We are all in a gaming league together."

Felix extended his hand, and Chris took it, shaking it firmly. "It's nice to meet you, Felix."

The boy's eyes widened at the hint of an accent that Chris had, "Aussie?" Chris also had the same realization.

"Yeah." It was like an immediate connection. They started to talk about where they were from exactly and the things they had in common started to pile up. He was so busy making a new friend he hadn't even noticed that both you and Jisung had walked away.

As it turned out, Felix was not your boyfriend. As a matter of fact, you were far from his type. Felix had a raging crush on Chris's roommate, Changbin. He couldn't lie and say he wasn't relieved. He most definitely was. "I'm going to go talk to him since he's free. This might be my only chance."

Felix smoothed his hands over his pants before heading in the direction of his muscled friend. "Seems you two really hit it off." He didn't need to turn around to know who the voice belonged to.

"Bethany." He sighed. How did his ex manage to get invited? He could feel his blood start to boil just being in her presence.

"How are you, Chrissy?" She ran her hand up his arm, stopping only to wrap both hands around his biceps. "Miss me?" He closed his eyes, trying to maintain his composure. Bethany had almost caused him to spiral after their breakup. She gaslit him their whole relationship, playing mind games before, during, and after the whole ordeal. It was a miracle he made it out of the whole thing.

He pried her hands off, "What do you want?"

She pouted up at him, "Be nice, Chrissy. I just want to catch up." He grimaced, looking around for an out. That's when he spotted you. 

You were headed towards him with two drinks in hand. "Here, babe." You smiled at him, "I know you don't drink, so it's banana milk. Don't let Jisung know, tho -" You looked at Bethany and tilted your head to the side. "Oh- uh, Hi. You are?"

Bethany looked between the two of you, then kissed her teeth. "I'm his ex, and we were in the middle of a conversation. Who are you?" She said in a snippy tone as if already annoyed by your presence.

You just kept that pleasant smile on your face, "His current girlfriend." You made your way between them, effectively putting space between the two. "Sorry, dear, but the conversation is over. You can go now." You said rather matter-of-factly. Her mouth dropped as she stammered. 

She was so taken back by your boldness that she didn't even try to come back at you. She just simply huffed and walked away. You stayed in front of Chris until you made sure she was gone, then turned to face him. "Sorry for not warning you." You giggled, "Ji was filling me in about.. what I've been missing during the game meetings,at the cooler. I just glanced over here, and judging by your look of complete distress and discomfort, I decided to step in. He gave me the banana milk for you. I hope that's okay." 

God, he wanted to kiss you. You were absolutely perfect. "You are honestly a lifesaver...so, thanks. I honestly don't even know the reason she's here. I appreciate the well-timed save, though." Your smile widened. What the hell were you doing to his heart? It felt tight and like it would run off into the wild with the small but not forgotten statement of you being his girlfriend.

"I'm glad to help. I wish it could have looked a little more realistic. Because I don't think she bought it." Bethany was lingering nearby, talking to some other girl that he didn't know. "I'm going to kiss you, is that okay?" He could feel his cheeks and ears heat up. His heart was river dancing at four times speed at this point. This was not at all like the time he saved you from Agnes. You took both drinks and sat them down nearby, then pulled him in by his shirt. "Just.. act natural." Cupping his face in your hand, you leaned in and slowly started to kiss his plush lips. It was experimental at first, just seeing how to make it look real and not awkward. 

But if anyone were looking from the outside in and didn't know you weren't a couple, the kiss surely wasn't going to give it away. His hands made their way to your hips, pulling you flush to him. Causing you to gasp into the kiss. He smirked, feeling a lot less awkward with your body and lips pressed to his. He slid his hands from your hip to your ass, giving it a little squeeze, eliciting a moan from you.

"Too much?" He nudged your nose with his. You just simply shook your head, diving right back in. This time, you added a little tongue to it. Both you and Chris had tuned the rest of the party out. Even Bethany's somewhat irritating presence had disappeared. 

Tunnel vision. That's what was taking place. It was you and him, in the quiet of the night, enjoying each other's company. With his hands still on your ass he pulled you even closer, even when it was barely any space left between you. You could feel his bulge against your upper thigh, and you had to stop yourself from moaning. "Get a room, hyung!" 

He wouldn't have heard Changbin if it wasn't for him being so damn loud and close. He finally pulled away, face flush, but it wasn’t from embarrassment. It was far from that. "You must be the next door neighbor, Jisung just told me about." It was miraculous how you'd been there over two months and was just now meeting the rest of Chris's roommates.

"And you must be Changbin." You smiled, causing the man's brow to twitch.

"Have we met?" Panic set in, and Chris quickly tried to deflect.

"Dude, she's been here for months, and you haven't met her?" He chuckled awkwardly.

"I- I've been busy."

Changbin whined at being called out, "It's okay, I've heard so much about you from Jisung that I feel like I know you."

He frowned, "I hope it's only good things." 

You gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder, "It is. But he failed to describe just how fit you are. I need to get on your workout plan."

He waved off your comment, blush tinting his cheeks. "Aw. You're so sweet -" He could feel the heat coming off Chris's stare. "Yeah, it was nice meeting you. Enjoy the party." He quickly slid his way through the crowd and away from the impending wrath of his roommate.

You hadn't even noticed how he kept his arms around you, keeping you close. "He might be right.." Chris looked down at you, moving a few stray hairs from your face.

"Right about what?" His eyes searched yours as if he'd find the answers to the universe there.

"We may need to get a room." You chuckled as his eyes widened. "So we can talk, you perv." His face turned almost comically red. 

"I wasn't -"

You shook your head, "I'm just joking. But it would be far better for you with the whole ex situation, if it looked like you fucked me." His mind was doing cartwheels, spinning in circles. Just the implications had him reeling. "But, I really just want to talk. If that's okay." You said as if you could see the panic in his eyes. He really needed to get himself in check.

"I'd love that." He leaned in and spoke into your ear. It wasn't a lie either. He really would. He was almost dying to get to know you better, and this was his chance.

You pulled away and grabbed his hand, "Lead the way."

_______________________________________________

Chris was glad he kept his room somewhat clean because he definitely was not expecting company. Especially not you of all people. "So, tell me a little about yourself." You walked around his room, arms behind your back, just taking a look around.

"I mean… what is there to know, really?" He chuckled nervously. You stopped near his closet, the door was slightly ajar, but all you could see was black with the occasional splash of color.

"All black?" You raised an eyebrow, and he nodded.

"It's my favorite color."

You smirked slightly, "Good to know." You brushed your fingers across a few of the garments before moving on. "I'm open for whatever you are comfortable sharing." You shrugged, "Just talk with me." He had no idea why he felt nervous, but he felt like a school kid talking to their crush.

"I.." he looked around his room for anything that could spark a decent conversation. His eyes landed on his small workstation full of his production equipment.

"I don't know if Jisung has told you or not, but he, Changbin, and I are a team of producers." He nodded. He knew you knew he made music, but it'd be a dead giveaway if he told you that.

"Yes, Jisung told me. But I just put two and two together when I noticed your equipment. He said he did it with his roommates. He just never specified which ones." You played a few keys on the keyboard he had near his balcony door with a small smirk plastered on your face. "It could've been the artsy looking pretty boy I've seen over here a few times."

He chuckled, "Ah- you mean Hyunjin. He likes to join in from time to time, but he loves to put his art on canvas or film more so than music sheets."

You nodded, "So a house full of artists. Got it." You stopped at a bookshelf he had full of trophies, pictures, and other memorabilia. There was a picture with him and his roommates at a beach with a dog. "How cute. What's the dog's name?"

He had turned away from you, pretending to be more interested in the lint on his pants, so he would look like he was staring. "Berry." He said the name with so much love.

"I thought this building had a no pet policy?" Besides Agnes' dog, who had been grandfathered in after living in the building for so long, no one had pets. At least pets over a certain size.

"She's back in Australia with family."

You turned to him, leaning against his desk. "You miss her?"

He once again focused on this piece of lint on his pants. "Yeah. I call to talk to her every couple of days. I don't want her to forget me."

You chuckled, "I'm sure she won't forget you. If you were good to her, it's possible she'll hold onto your memory forever. Even though they suffer from short-term memory loss, they do hold on to longer memories."

He tilted his head, finally gazing up at you. "You just run off random bits of information like that all the time, yeah?" You both chuckled.

"No, of course not.” You laughed, "I'm writing my thesis on the correlation between pet ownership and early childhood development."

He looked shocked, "You- what?"

You laughed, "I don't have siblings, so I grew up with pets. I feel they help you learn good self-esteem, and they help combat loneliness. So.. yeah." You scratched your nape awkwardly. “I’m getting my masters in education.” To say he was shocked would be an understatement. But then again, you not showing your face in your videos made a lot more sense now.

“A teacher.”

You nodded, “I taught for a year after graduating, but I wanted to further my education.. And as fulfilling as it is..” That's why you did it. It was all making sense to him now.

“It doesn’t pay the bills.” He finished your sentence, and you nodded in agreement.

“Exactly. So I do… odd jobs to keep me afloat while I get my masters.” Odd Jobs. That must be what they call onlyfans now.

“So when Jisung says you met in school..”

You clapped your hands together. “Not from any classes. He started an Otaku club, and I joined, thinking it’d be a great way to chat about my favs and not feel ashamed about it.” You chewed on your lip, expecting him to razz you a little, but he didn’t. Chris was far too kind for that.

“It’s kind of amazing how all this time he talked about the one girl friend he had, and you turned out to be our neighbor. I was beginning to think he was making you up, to be completely honest.” You both laughed, “He made you sound way too good to be true.”

You made a face, “How so?”

He shrugged, “Pretty, smart, into all the things he was into. It’s actually shocking that he doesn’t have a crush on you.” He wanted to finish and say he was glad he didn’t, but he thought that would be a little much.

“He did. But he says he found a girl online that he had fallen for, and she was the only one for him. So, I didn’t take it to heart.” Chris choked on air, little did Jisung know, they were one in the same.

“Are you okay?” You went to push yourself off the desk to check on him and accidentally hit the spacebar, waking his computer up. His eyes widened. He hadn’t closed out of his incognito tab. He had seemingly calmed all his thoughts down, but now they were running wild again. Your eyes followed him, taking a step back to look at the computer screen. The video had ended, but you could still see the last frame. It was the bottom part of your face.

But you couldn’t let the panic set in. You didn’t want your secret to be revealed. Not like this, at least. “Oh. It seems someone is into cam girls, huh?” You clicked the back button, “Anime Babe?” You looked back at him with an eyebrow raised. “I can see why you and Jisung are friends now, besides your love of music and producing.” You took a seat in his computer chair. The very one he had imagined fucking in you countless times.

“I-it’s not what it looks like..Jisung suggested her to me, a-and”

You giggled, “It’s fine, Chris. We all watch porn. It's healthy.” You scrolled around the page as if you hadn’t posted all of the content there.

You were an amazing actor. He knew that for sure now. You didn’t seem embarrassed or alarmed that he had been watching your stuff. You played it off as if this was really your first time seeing all this, like it wasn’t you at all. It almost made him believe he was mistaken, that maybe some other girl had a balcony with the same decorations. That someone lived right next door to her that sounded just like him and wrote the same songs. But he knew all that wasn’t true. You had a secret to keep, and he couldn’t blame you for trying so hard to keep it.

“What’s your favorite?” You could hear him shifting in the background, just for him to end up right next to you.

“Let me.” You nodded and gave up control of his mouse. He scrolled and clicked as if he had done this thousands of times. “I like this one the most.” It was about a week ago, from the Wednesday before last.

“What is it about this particular one that sticks with you?” He stood up from where he was hovering over your shoulder to stretch, accidentally exposing his v-line and faint happy trail. You quickly tore your eyes away.

“Are you sure you want to know? You might end up subscribing to her.” He joked.

“I'm just curious.” You looked up at him, a small smirk on your lips. “I was serious when I said I wanted to get to know you better. What’s better than getting to know what a person gets off to?” You pushed the chair back and turned towards him. “I think it says a lot about a person. You know, what they are into and all.”

He raked his fingers through his hair. Why did he suddenly feel so nervous? It wasn’t like you didn’t know what you would see when you played the video. But it still made the tiny hairs on the back of his neck stand up. “Well-”

You stopped him by standing on your feet. “Here. You sit. Maybe you’d be more comfortable if you go about it like you normally do.” You motioned towards the chair after taking a step away from it.

He apprehensively took a seat. “May I?” You pointed to his bed, asking to sit. He just nodded in response, leaning back in his own chair to get comfortable. Once you were seated, he started.

“I enjoy her content overall. She has a little something for everyone…” You nodded, motioning for him to go on. “But this particular night, she decided to explore more of the bdsm side of things. So, the way the streams work, you have to purchase tokens if you want to ask for anything specific. Like for her to spank herself, or for her to speed up her fucking machine…” You leaned back on your hands, still listening intently.

“She came in with a black, strappy, heart cutout set. The way it hugged her curves was absolutely delectable. ” Chris groaned, closing his eyes. “She said that she had been bad that day and had touched herself without Sir's permission. That she needed to be punished. So she pulled out this g-spot vibrator, which the chat was able to control. If you give tokens, you get a hundred seconds to control the device. Some people did it fast. But I wanted to prolong the feeling, I'd build her up just to slow it back down." He kept his eyes closed, just recolleting and recounting the events in the video.

"Did she get to cum?" You asked softly, hanging off every word.

"She did. She squirted. Said she had never done that before. And judging from how her mouth dropped when it happened, I believe it." He shifted in his seat, spreading his legs a bit wider. "She said it wasn't enough, though. That she needed to be punished more, so she wouldn’t be a disappointment to her lovely Sir. So, she bent over, tugging her soaked panties between her lips. She grabbed a paddle and let the chat decide how many hits, how fast or slow she needed to do it. Her ass was red on both cheeks by the time she finished." He was gripping onto his arm rests, trying to keep his composure.

Trying to stop from touching himself. "But that was far from the end. She needed to have her pussy handled. Needed to be fucked into submission…" He bit his lip, holding back a groan. You crossed your legs to quell the need to touch yourself. "I don't know when, but the dildo she was given, she had it mounted to her machine. She said that only Sir could get her to act like a good girl. She slipped her panties to the side and oiled her ass before lubing up the toy. Just the simple sight had a few people claiming that they came."

You cleared your voice before speaking, afraid the words wouldn't come out. "Did you?"

He chuckled lowly, "No. I wouldn't waste my cum like that, she deserves better." You grabbed a pillow from the bed, gripping it tight. It smelled heavily of him and was not helping your predicament at all. "It seems she prepared herself before the stream. That she really had played with herself, because the same toy she had problems with before almost slipped right in with little effort." His voice had gotten deeper as he talked, adding to the tension in the air.

"God, the way her pussy stretched around that toy should be taken down as one of the sexiest things in history."

You had placed the pillow over your lap, a fist full of the pillowcase. "Why? Because it's your cock?" It took him a few seconds for your words to settle.

"It's just a toy.. how could it be my cock?" You poked your lip out and hummed.

"Is it just a toy, Chris?" You lean forward, closer to him. "Next time, send it as a gift. Your name was all over the packing slip." It felt like the world shattered around him. What was all of this about, if you knew?

"You… knew it was from me?" You nodded, leaning back on your hands.

"Of course, Wolfie." The smile on your face might very well be his undoing. You were toying with him. "And since there is a lack of surprise about me being your beloved Anime babe, I take it you knew. Did you send me your cock with ulterior motives, Christopher?" He was hot and bothered near minutes ago, then you threw ice on him.

Now, it seemed like you were toying with him once again. Riling him up. You were giving him whiplash.

"I-" He couldn't truthfully answer that, now could he? He didn't want to come off as a complete pervert but he also didn’t want it to seem like he wasn't into you either. "I wanted to see how it'd look." He shyly answered.

"Just how it'd look?" It was like you were purposely throwing matches at him when he was already doused in gasoline. He was seconds from being ablaze. You put the pillow aside and stood to your feet, making your way around to the back of his chair. You leaned in just to whisper, "Don't you want to know how it feels, Chris?"

You still don't know how he did it, but within a millisecond, he was up out of the chair with his lips attached to yours. It was as if the kiss from earlier never stopped. The intensity seemed to pick up right where it left off. Hands grabbing and groping as if neither could get enough of the other. But he pulled away, his hands moving to cup your face, "Let me know right now before we go any further. Do you want this?"

You took in a shaky breath, "Yes." Your breathy reply was all it took. He lifted you, grabbed the back of your thighs, and carried you to the bed. He laid you down there and settled between your legs.

"Look at you, you're so damn beautiful." He really took you in. It was almost like you weren't real. Like you'd been a dream this whole time. Just like you were a hologram that appeared in his wildest dreams.

"You're just saying that because I'm lying in your bed." You quipped.

He only shook his head. "No, from the moment I first laid eyes on you, I've thought this. I just didn't want to come on too strong and ask you out right then and there." There was sincerity in his eyes as he spoke.

"Chris, you saved me from severe embarrassment and an old lady's tongue lashing. The least I could have done is say yes to a date." He chuckled, hiding his face in the curve of your neck and shoulder. "Plus, don't know if you've noticed, but I'm very attracted to you." You grabbed his face to make him look at you. "Dude you're fine as fuck. Like, they had to have run out of marble after making you." He laughed, but stillness soon took over the room. As if you were magnets, your lips collided again, feverishly.

Your hands were in his hair, tugging on his beautiful curls. His hand traveled from your hip up to your breast, where he lightly squeezed. His other hand was next to your head, holding him up. You slowly undressed one another, as if taking the time to relish in each piece of newly exposed skin. Once there was nothing between you, Chris sat back on his legs and admired every inch of you. He grabbed your foot and kissed your ankle. Kissing every few inches until he got to your thighs. "You know, there is something I've been curious about this whole time.."

You raised a brow, "And what is that?" He nipped at your thigh, then placed a kiss right over it.

"Just how you taste."

He didn't waste another second. He licked a stripe from your wet hole to your clit, sucking the bud into his mouth. Your eyes rolled back, hands once again reaching for his locks, fingers tangling with a few curls. Smacks, slurps, and grunts was all you could hear coming from between your legs. He was eating you out as if he hadn't had a good meal in his entire life. Flicks to swirls, then him flattening his entire tongue over your clit had your eyes taking up permanent residence in the back of your head.

"Oh God…" your legs began to shake as you felt his fingers prodding at your entrance but never dipping in far enough to release any tension. It was his turn to toy with you. "Chris please…" you begged, but he didn’t budge. He moved his fingers and his mouth away from your heat.

"If you want something from me, you better ask properly. Just a please isn't going to cut it. Vocalize what you want, sweetheart." You were used to hearing sweetness laced in his voice, but you could get used to whatever this was. His words caused you to clench the nothingness, wetness seeping out of your wonton hole.

"Please fuck me, Chris." It almost came out as a whisper.

He smirked, "We'll get to that, pretty girl. For right now, I'm going to eat your pussy until I get my fill." You whimpered, hand flying to your mouth to cover it. He shook his head, pulling your hand away. "Let me hear it. Let me know how I'm making you feel." You pretty much were rendered choiceless as he dove back in. The first moan that spilled past your lips filled the room. Even the blaring music from the living room was drowned out by it.

Chris was an expert with his tongue, making you cum just minutes after threatening you with a good time. Once he added his thick, knobby fingers to the mix, you were pretty much a blob of lust lying in the middle of his bed. Granted, it had been a while since you'd last had human contact. But you could honestly say that his tongue game was absolutely bar none. By your third orgasm you just couldn't take it anymore. You pushed at his head, trying your best to slither away from him. But the way he had his arms locked around your thighs prevented even the slightest of movements. "What did I tell you?" He asked, mouth still on your clit.

"A-ask properly." He nodded, but it only added to the overstimulation you were alre feeling. "P-please s…stop." You bit down on your bottom lip to try and focus your attention elsewhere. It didn't help. He gave you a few more kitten licks before he pulled away. Moving up your body, pressing tender kisses to your sweat slick skin, he paused at your jaw.

He rubbed his nose against your ear before he spoke, "Absolutely delectable." You whimpered again, your body still dealing with the aftershocks of multiple orgasms.

"Turn around for me, baby." Though your eyes were threatening to close, you mustered up the strength to do as told. He gave you his pillow to rest your head on, then pressed a kiss to your shoulder. He moved away momentarily, retrieving something from his bedside table. "I'm going to help you relax a little, okay?" You nodded. He smacked your ass, eliciting a loud groan and sharp jolt from you. "Words, baby girl."

He soothed the spot he hit. "Ye-yes." He let out a proud chuckle before popping the cap to something you couldn't see. But you soon felt it. He had slicked his hands with oil and began to massage your tense back and shoulders.

Your eyes closed, letting his hands work their magic on your rigid muscles. Your body began to relax as he went on. His hands slowly started to dip further and further south till they landed on your ass. "I've been waiting to do this since I saw you in the miniskirt in your stream." He kneaded and pulled your cheeks apart, just to let them smack back together. "My gosh.."

All you could do is giggle. "Are you having fun back there?" He didn't answer at first, too mesmerized by the sight. "I thought after all that you would fuck me, but I guess not-" he reached a hand around and grabbed your jaw, pulling you up a little.

"Here, I was trying to be nice after you begged me to stop." He ground his hips against your ass so you could feel just how hard he was. "But maybe nice isn't what you need." He sat up on the backs of your thighs, then tapped his hardened member against your ass. "Condom?"

You released your lip from between your teeth, "I'm on birth control, and I'm up to date on tests… if you want to…" He wasted no time. Slipping in cock between your slightly parted legs, he hoped he had stretched you enough to where it wouldn't hurt.

"Same." Both his hands ended up on either side of your shoulders as he slowly pushed into your cunt. Once the tip was in, the rest was just a matter of patience. You bit his pillow, his toy was huge, but somehow he felt bigger. "Fuck you're so fucking tight. Tighter than I ever imagined." He waited after bottoming out, not wanting to move too fast and hurt you. He pulled out almost to the tip before pushing back in. Your body responded, your back arching, pushing your ass towards him. He reached and wrapped his fingers around your neck. "Okay?" He asked, not wanting to make you uncomfortable, even if he was fucking you raw.

You nodded, and he squeezed your neck. "So-sorry. Yes, sir." That was all he needed. He let go of your neck, letting your face fall back to the pillow. He started off slow, the delicious slide of his cock against your walls had you moaning with each thrust. Your hands dug into his sheets, while your teeth sank into his pillow. He gripped one of your hips with one hand while the other was splayed on your lower back to keep you arched and in place. One particular deep thrust had you creaming all over his cock. That broke him.

It was as if the kind hearted next door neighbor you knew had vanished completely. His fingertips dug even deeper into your skin as he started to pound into you, "Look at how good your pussy takes my dick." He growled. He actually growled. You couldn't make a sound. Your mouth had fallen slack ages ago, your brain rendered useless under his unrelenting pounding. That hand on your hip moves around to your mouth, three fingers sinking into it, his thumb and pinky taking a hold of your jaw. He used that as leverage to pull you into him.

"Nothing smart to say?" His breathing was erratic, but he tried his best to sound calm and collected. "Have I fucked you dumb already?" If you said something it'd be like letting him win. But your brain wasn't working at full capacity at the moment.

"N-no." You spoke around his fingers. It wasn't convincing. In all honesty, it had the exact opposite of the desired effect.

"No?" You could hear the smirk in his voice. "Good." This man's speed and strength was something that definitely needed to be studied. He had somehow flipped you over and had your legs pressed to your chest with his face between your legs within a blink of an eye.

"Fuck… Chris.." You screamed, legs starting to shake once again with his mouth on your pussy and fingers one again buried deep within your heat. Your toes curled. Your hand flailed, looking for something, anything to grab ahold of. Ungodly noises slipped from your lips as you neared your fourth orgasm of the night. His fingers found that fleshy spot inside of you and with a couple of caresses, you came undone. But this pressure you felt, felt different than any other time you'd come tonight. He yanked his fingers from your cunt and you squirt all over him and his sheets.

Your whole body was shaking, and tears were threatening to spill from your eyes. But he wasn't done. He ascended from your pussy, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. "All I need is one more, baby. Just one more, okay?" He rubbed the tip of his length between your folds. "Think you can do that for me, pretty girl?" You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. But he understood, he wasn't going to hold it against you this time. He slid back in with one of your legs on his shoulder and the other pinned to the mattress.

The angle he was rolling his hips in seemed to tickle something in the depths of your brain. Your voice seemed to find you again. Your moans and chants of his name filled the space and spilled out the window. He placed kisses on your neck, then little bites here and there. "This pussy is so fucking good, pretty girl. Can I call it mine?"

You nodded fervently. "Yes." Your walls clenched around him, making him groan.

"Mine." He repeated the word with every thrust. Picking up the pace, he'd pull halfway out just to slam back in while still giving you toe curling strokes. His fingers dipped into your mouth again. "Get them nice and wet for me, please, baby." You obliged, soaking his fingers with spit. His hand then disappeared between the two of you, with what little space you had. He rubbed your clit in slow circles, then pinched the swollen bud. That sent you right over the edge.

You sang his name like a lead in a church choir on sunday. Your eyes rolled back in your head. He didn't stop, too preoccupied with chasing his own high. And with the way your walls were squeezing him, he'd get there sooner than later. "Please Chris… cum for me."

His brows were furrowed in concentration, "Where do you want me to cum, baby, hm?" You locked eyes with him, purposely clenching around his cock.

"Inside." That did it for him. He snapped. He sped up, and with one last harsh thrust, he came as deep as he could. He leaned down, teeth sinking into the flesh above your breast, careful not to leave too bad of a mark. His seed coated your walls in hot streams, causing you to clench even more, milking him dry.

You both sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity, trying your damnedest to catch your breath. After what seemed like an eternity, he eventually gathered the strength to pull out. He leaned back on his legs to see if it trickled out. He had fucked it so deep not even a drop tried to escape. He tapped your clit before rubbing it,trying to get your walls to clench, so you could push it out. He slid two fingers in, once again stimulating that spongy spot inside your cunt.

"Oh fuck…" You groaned loudly, too tired to even fight. Your walls did as he asked, pushing his seed out. More of it seeping out with each thrust of his fingers.

"Good girl." He smirked at a job well done. Taking in the sight of your messy pussy. "Let me get you cleaned up." You couldn’t respond, you couldn’t even move. He came back with a warm rag to clean you up. He gently took care of you, then dressed you in one of his shirts as a change of clothes.

He assessed the damage your squirting had done and decided that a towel would have to suffice with covering it for now. He pulled his boxers back on and laid next to you, pulling your back flush to his chest. You sat there silently in his arms for a while, listening to the party that was still raging outside. "How did you find me out?" You asked out of the blue, voice a little croaky from your little escapade. He snuggled into your neck, hand absentmindedly rubbing up and down on your stomach.

"The video where you admitted to getting off to the sound of my singing." Heat immediately rushed to your face. "Next time, be a little more discreet. Being my neighbor was written all over that little video." He made a call back to her earlier statement.

You both chuckled, "Duly noted." He kissed your cheek. Even though you were almost too tired to function, your brain got the better of you, and you couldn't help but ask, "So, about that date…"

Fin

A.N: Please leave a like or comment to let me know how you feel. I'd love a little feedback. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it.

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[Rewrites, Reposts, and Translations are Prohibited]

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[moncharrow]

hii!! i saw you were taking requests so can u write an knight!ellie x princess!reader period piece?

it was never meant to be

a/n: thank you for the cool request! i don't know how i feel about this- never wrote for this time period before. it was a fun learning curve!! i hope you enjoy it. requests are open <3 please. please. tell me. smut or fluff or angst idc

-content/warnings: 1.8k words, fem!princess!reader x knight!ellie, arranged marriage/political marriage, mentions of reader having to marry a man, slight angst? happy ending though, feminine reader i suppose

You were a goddess amongst mortals, treading the Earth lightly and gracing the barren ground with flowering spring beauty. There was an elegance to your touch. Anyone blessed enough to know you were changed for the better, your kindness and charity caressing their soul like hundreds of dandelion wisps in the wind. Heads turned when you walked down the pathways, villagers hoping to get a glimpse of their beloved princess, to catch her stray gaze as she passed. You were the kind of person who would never be subject to malice; even if someone wished they could despise you, the love behind your eyes would soothe their violent minds. Your soul seemed to be sculpted by the hand of a creator who endowed you with pure goodness.

Ellie’s skin was etched with years' worth of hardship, mental fortitude carved into her perpetually crinkled brow. Dirt caked her bloodstream, poisoning her soul as it moved through her heart. Behind her eyes was no mercy, no forgiveness, only seeking vengeance on some imaginary being that had seen no value in her from the moment of creation. It seems the same deity that sculpted you had been corrupted as it created her, molding her heart of ashes and skin of rotten wood. She was a decades-old shattered, rusty sword thrown into a river. No value. No hope. Only a broken promise of a better future that had been forgotten.

​​But your merciful, generous sight had befallen her by some stroke of luck. You recognized something good within her and gave her the chance she'd always dreamt about. You sponsored her induction into knight training, looking past her fiery faults and into the essence of her spirit, finding a spark of virtue. You tended to it until the ember became a blaze, and Ellie Williams became a force to be reckoned with. Despite the whispers of naysayers around the castle, there was something honorable and just inside her. There would never be enough words in the English language for Ellie to express her gratefulness to you properly. Even if there were, she couldn't string them together- she was never skilled with words. Instead, her every step carried a purpose: to echo your goodness through her actions.

Every so often, she'd find a quiet moment and reminisce upon the years of hardship she'd endured in training. Initially, she'd been one of the weakest pupils, lanky and malnourished but with a lust for improvement. She would cry herself to sleep the first year, and every night, she'd sneak out to see the dear princess, who would hold her and assure her that she belonged. It took time, but Ellie began to believe her. She sought comfort from you night after night, conversation topics turning personal after Ellie’s mental health had begun to improve. You’d talk about nothing and everything: silly hypotheticals, stories of growing up. The juxtaposition between your upbringing and hers was comical, but you both found comfort in learning about each others’ lives. 

When Ellie was with you, she felt like her social status didn’t matter. She was just a girl, and you were just the girl she was in love with. The class difference didn’t matter and neither did the impossibility of being together. Just two girls in love, neither with the courage to admit it. 

The lingering touches turn into shy smiles as Ellie sits in your room. Ornate tapestries adorn the walls and silk kerchiefs cast you in warm golden light- you look like a sun goddess in a long linen dress, your well-manicured hand coming to rest on Ellie’s knee as you laugh at something she said. Her rude humor was a welcome change to the sterility of castle life. You grew tired of the roles forced upon you by your authoritative parents and court, and vastly preferred Ellie’s brash personality. Your parents would have a collective aneurysm if they knew you were mingling with the ‘peasant knight’ (their words, obviously), so the two of you were reduced to sneaking around. 

Ellie’s smile dropped a bit as she felt your touch through her trousers. Her head felt dizzy and she attempted to compose herself, finding it hard to focus when your touch was so delicate and warm. Your call of her name was like a siren song, impossible to ignore its dulcet velvety tones. “Ellie?”

“Yes, Princess?”

You scoff. “Stop with the title. You know I hate it.”

Ellie smiles. A selfish thought crosses her mind- she wishes you were born normal, born in the village like her instead of in an ivory tower. Maybe then, things could have worked out. “That’s why I use it.” You laugh again, and she feels her stomach turn. Why couldn’t you be like me?

-

A week later, Ellie’s thoughts are the opposite. You sit in the throne room, grandiose decor embellishing the great chamber. Lavish royal purple flags and bright maroon banners drop and fold along the walls. Opulent chandeliers of pure wrought iron hang from the ceiling, supporting crystal fixtures through which valuable beeswax candles bathe the room in light. Stained glass rose windows and fleur de lys seem to further isolate Ellie, who stands guard by your throne. Invasive thoughts plague her as she keeps her professional face. I don’t belong here. I never have. I wish I was like you- then I could take you away from here. The thoughts are heightened when she sees the reason the entire town is gathered under the concave.

Four suitors from across the land vie for your hand in marriage. Ellie bites her tongue, her taste buds flooding with a familiar metallic sting. 

They don’t really want you, not like I do. All they want is power. They don’t treasure your time or your kindness. You deserve more. 

She clutches her spear, posture erect, seeming the quintessential knight. Only you noticed how her hand shook with nerves, how she seemed to hold onto the weapon as if letting go would kill her.

Each suitor takes time to introduce themselves. They focus on their own qualities, never talking about why they would be honored to be with you. And they would be. You sit on your throne, deep purple taffeta draping your body elegantly as you cross your legs. Aphroditic, a Hellenistic Roman statue come alive. Romantic, expressive, nymphlike in every way. If you were Euydice, Ellie thinks she must’ve been Orpheus. The anticipation of witnessing you choose your husband (and thus leaving her) was beginning to affect Ellie physically. Her heart felt like it would die in her chest: she swore she felt an arrhythmia. 

First, the suitor from the East describes what he would gift you if wed. As if you would be swayed by material possessions. The suitor from the South notes his conquests. The changes in your expression are minute, but Ellie knows the look. You’re entirely disgusted, and she clears her throat to catch your attention. You look over, the unimpressed look still donning your face, but your eyes light up when you see her. Ellie smiles- a silent reminder: I’m still here for you. It’s like you’re the only two people in the room.

The Western suitor wears his pants inside out, and your eyes immediately meet Ellie’s. You cover your mouth with your hand, appearing classy while chuckling and snorting behind your cover. 

The Northern suitor is handsome and decent, Ellie reluctantly admits. She’s not blind. She hates that she doesn’t hate him. He expresses interest in you and vows to give you autonomy. It’s basic, but more than the others offered. She tries to read your expression and for once, she can’t. It makes her heart drop. 

After every suitor is introduced, you and your court go into the back room to discuss your final decision. The decision that, whomever you choose, will ruin Ellie. She stands guard before the door, straining her hearing to find some clue that you won’t marry these men. She begs silently to whatever immortal being watches over her. 

You haven’t done much for me. I haven’t asked for much. But I’ll do anything to stop this. Please. 

A knock at the door signals Ellie to move away. She takes your hand and leads you back to the throne. You sit, and Ellie has to will herself to let go of you. What if this is the last time she’ll be able to hold you? The thought nearly brings her to her knees. Her joints ache with every step she takes away from you, returning to her post in front of the chancel. Your father stands, his creaking bones the only sound in the room. Everyone holds their breath as he speaks.

It’s detached apolitical jargon that Ellie can barely pay attention to. She thinks that if she doesn’t listen, the situation won’t become real. To her dismay, your father ends his aloof speech and presents you. Sir Williams has never felt so sober.

Ellie watches with wide eyes as you stand. She peers up at you from below the stage, and she can’t help but realize what a perfect metaphor this is. You stand above her, gilded and unobtainable, while she looks up, dreaming of what could’ve been. Of course, she’ll support any decision you make, but she’ll never be happy with it. It seems time moves gruelingly slowly as she awaits your voice. At any other moment, she’d be hanging off your every word, waiting excitedly for what you have to share next. But now, she hopes the words never come.

You open your mouth, words leaving in slow motion. She wants to close your mouth to shut you up and kiss you so hard that you never think about anyone else again. She doesn’t.

“Dearest suitors, I thank you for coming here today. Your travels are long and treacherous and your efforts do not go unnoticed. As noted by my father, I have come to a decision regarding my spouse. I am firm in my choice, as this is the most chivalrous, goodhearted, and impressive person I have met. The only person who understands me.”

Ellie is used to you switching from your formal persona to your true self, but she never gets over it. It’s you, but it’s not you. You stroll along the chancel, in thought, and Ellie takes the chance to admire everything about you as if this is the last time she’ll be able to. Posture, gait, the way you hold yourself as if you’re sure about every action. She doesn’t know you’re terrified beyond belief.

Your finger comes out to point to a suitor. The great hall inhabitants draw a collective breath, Ellie included. You drag your finger from the right side of the stage, passing over the suitors of the East, South, and West. Ellie knows where this is going. Of course, you’ll choose North. He was the obvious choice, and she couldn’t fault you for that. And suddenly, your finger passes by him.

Ellie’s mind races. What’s happening?

Your body turns, and soon, Ellie stares down your hand, furrowing her brow. Her eyes are filled with childlike hope.

“Ellie Williams, if you’ll have me?”

[salpho]

We need to talk about what happened with Mike D.

For those who don't know, Mike D, co-creator of Bendy, has stated that Thomas Connor is a white man. He's done this before with Norman Polk, too. Because of this, drama has arose which led him to make his account private, and shortly after, deleted.

This thread on Twitter gives details of what happened, screenshots provided for those who can't view it below-

I must state as a disclaimer that no matter what he's like, past or present, we should not seriously be wishing death on him. The person who said they wished death on him has since retracted their statement, as said and shown in the thread above.

The two characters, Thomas and Norman, were nearly universally agreed upon to be black men, and have been implied and coded to be black through their voices, their interactions with other characters (especially in the books) and likely many more things I've missed, only to then be revealed to be canonically white.

Mike D has also stated (correct me if wrong) that he believes minorities are forced, unless the character's identity helps the story. Think of Buddy from Dreams Come To Life being Jewish, and how his religion effected his story.

This is erasure. The fact they decanonised the books that show these important interactions, the fact they led us on, being told your identity or race must serve a purpose in fiction, is all erasure. If you are part of a minority and see a character like you have that part of them stripped away or forgotten, it sends the message that people like you must be censored and eradicated, especially knowing how many minorities were treated historically. Being told minorities are forced unless given a greater purpose in storytelling reinforces the idea that being part of any minority is abnormal and thus, wrong.

TheMeatly has recently addressed that the cutouts used in all games post-BATIM had (accidentally) stolen fanart and plans to use a new texture in future games. This is proof that he has improved as Bendy merchandise has used fanarts without permission years ago.

In contrast, I have yet to see Mike D improving on any of his past actions. I really do hope he does, but right now, things do not seem hopeful. He must understand the messages he's spreading, intentional or not, and improve.

EDIT - There are actually some signs regarding his improvement in other areas. When the KindlyBeast team was laid off, he did make an apology post for them, and his "We make stupid games for stupid kids" quote doesn't seem to apply seeing the M ratings newer games are getting. Courtesy to the other Bendy wiki staff to giving me these points.

However, I do think there's still an issue with how he views minorities. Here's to hoping for the best.

[yandere-loveer]

⋎﹒🃏﹒✾，Yandere shadow milk cookie scenario

✶﹒┊Warnings: Obsession, kidnapping, forced companionship, yandere, rape, kisses without consent, mental and physical abuse towards reader, shadow milk a little OOC, reader!fem.

✶﹒┊Summary: Shadow Milk Cookie met you when he was not corrupted by the power given to him by his creators. The jester cookie that you wanted so much changed a lot and here comes hell...

✶﹒┊If you are a sensitive person, I recommend not reading this or if you have a bad experience with some of the topics mentioned above, I also recommend not reading this for your mental health! ♡

﹒𓇼﹒﹒Shadow Milk Cookie with her friends were created with the sole purpose of taking care of their world and the other defenseless cookies.

﹒𓇼 ﹒﹒The jester appreciated cookies and always put on shows for everyone, so they could feel safe. His personality was calm and he maintained a joking side to the cookies he swore to protect with his friends.

﹒𓇼 ﹒﹒You met him there when you were a simple town girl, I simply made you curious that so many cookies spoke of the happiness and confidence that the jester called shadow milk cookie brought.

﹒𓇼 ﹒﹒You couldn't deny that you were delighted with what he did and he could make a lot of cookies happy, especially that you loved that he also did small shows for children. He always brought a smile to everyone and you too...

﹒𓇼 ﹒﹒ You caught his attention and you didn't know how, but it was the best. All the time that you were luckily able to talk to him, you could only praise and thank him for his efforts to keep everyone well. Which he couldn't help but feel very excited about.

﹒𓇼 ﹒﹒ Aww... Now always when he did shows he brought you so you could shine on stage along with him for everyone. In those small moments they both felt like they were the only ones who existed and no one else.

﹒𓇼 ﹒﹒ He visited you a lot in your humble house and he surprised you by entering your window, you were always surprised by his unexpected views, but he embarrassed you with your way of living. He never cared about that. You loved the moments you spent with him and even shadow milk expressed to his friends how great it was to spend time with you.

"Reader cookie, she's wonderful. I just hope I can do shows with her forever..." He was so lost in his thoughts about you that his friends just laughed and some rolled their eyes at it.

﹒𓇼 ﹒﹒ But all good things can end without realizing it, the only thing you could say was that you had noticed Shadow Milk very strange and sometimes he had a smile that scared everyone. One that was very sinister and dark...

﹒𓇼 ﹒﹒ You noticed that everything he said sometimes were pure lies and created conflicts between the cookies, which scared them all and they never smiled because of the anguish they felt at that time.

﹒𓇼﹒﹒The way he clung to you was very sticky and suffocating, he made very possessive comments and how he was going to keep you with him always.

"I'm going to keep you in a cage so you don't leave, HA HA HA! I'm kidding... or maybe not" he could only whisper the last thing, but you could hear it. You just turned a blind eye to it, he always told the truth and made you feel safe. But why isn't it like that now...?

﹒𓇼﹒﹒Before you could realize everything was chaos, many cookies were dying due to the cruel actions of the heroes who were now beasts... Now you were in a cage next to shadow milk cookie who said romantic things to you. way and you wore almost their shades of clothing to match. They were a real couple, cheer up!

﹒𓇼 ﹒﹒ The witches, with nothing else to do, put an end to the evil actions of their creations. You felt like you were going to be free until you saw how your lover grabbed your little legs so you could stay with him...

"Y-You can't leave me!" He sounded desperate as he watched him being locked up along with his friends who were upset by what was happening.

﹒𓇼 ﹒﹒ You saw how you were locked up along with shadow milk cookie and the witches couldn't do anything about the cruel fate you were facing. Living next to a beast. He was really happy that at least he was able to take you and stay with you.

﹒𓇼 ﹒﹒ You were just asking for help from any cookie or creator, anyone! But no one could hear you, only your loved one who looked confused at your reaction to the confinement. You closed your eyes and felt tears coming out, but your eyes widened when you felt Shadow Milk Cookie's disgusting hands that were behind you. It seems like it would take forever to force you to do things you didn't want to do. During that time, only your cries and prayers were heard...

﹒𓇼 ﹒﹒ At that moment you were now with shadow milk sitting on the dark floor that surrounded them in that dark prison. He was hugging you from behind and you alone couldn't even make the effort to think or react to what had happened before. You couldn't hear what shadow milk was saying, everything was blurry, you were in a state of shock. You could only squeeze one of your hands that was close to your private area, at that moment you felt dirty and the sinister smile of that beast was getting bigger...

[edenfenixblogs]

hey, gentile here. just came across this post of yours and, first of all- it's SUPERB. it showed me a perspective on being a jewish ally that i really wouldn't ever have considered by myself, made me more confident in my choice to put combating jew-hatred above the friendships I've recently lost, and gave me a really useful direction on where to go as an ally to jewish people onwards. that being said, there's a few details about it I'd like to press you about, if it's not too much trouble.

this point is probably worthy of an eyeroll as i'm a culturally christian atheist (making a concious effort to not be *that* kind of atheist), but: when you refer to G-d as the creator of all things, you stress that that includes evil- but that, in so doing, G-d is not evil themself. now, I'm asking this with the express purpose of you correcting me, so: why does this G-d- as a G-d fundamentally distinct from the Christian conception of God as a Super-Mega-Ultra-Perfect God Who Can Do No Wrong Ever- create evil? i, personally, have been led to believe by @/spacelazarwolf that it is simply because G-d, too, makes mistakes just like any human being, but the way you worded it in this paragraph (which I've included as a screenshot below) had me interpret G-d creating evil as a concious, intentional action. did i just not read it correctly? and, if i didn't, then is the reason G-d creates evil part of this central struggle you went in detail into in the same paragraph, and as such, a very individual part of Jewish belief that no two jews agree on? and if that is so, would you be comfortable with sharing your version of it?

a few paragraphs after that one, you dedicated many words to make it absolutely crystal clear that, in the process of unlearning and combating jew-hatred in the society around me, i should, in spite of the vitriol that they propagate, love the former friends i lost to antisemitism. how- and *why* should i love the people who, on an early october 8th morning, actively celebrated the news of a massacre of Israeli civilians? who mocked- and still mock- the survivors and the families of hostages? who wield the memory of the holocaust as a baton against Jewish people's right to self defense? who deify terror groups who are up to their necks in atrocities? who make an active effort to spit on the face of *reality?* How could i possibly look at the face of a friend who chose allegiance to a terrorist group she did not even know existed four months ago over me- who she had actively interacted with for much longer?

would you rather we called ourselves "gentiles" or "goyim?" I've been calling myself a gentile for the longest time because i see jamming a word from a language i don't speak at all in an otherwise english sentence to be disrespectful and constitute appropriation, but you and other jumblr blogs have given me the impression that that is not the case. furthermore- i believe it was @/bambahalva who pointed out the usage of the word "gentile" in antisemitic segregation policies.

that is all- i hope this message finds you well. oh, yeah one more thing- what do you think of The Forward news network? i came across them by chance and next thing i knew I'd gotten into their newsletter.

WARNING: I HAVE FINISHED WRITING THIS AND IT'S LONGER THAN I EXPECTED AND ALSO MORE JEWISH THAN I EXPECTED LOL! I have done the most Jewish possible thing I could do and answered all of your questions with questions. I'm sorrryyyyyy! This is what happens when you grow up surrounded by rabbis and future rabbis! LMAOO

Oooh! What a good ask! I love this ask. OK, so! Let's go in order.

First of all, thank you so much for your kind words. And thanking you for backing your words with the action of prioritizing kindness over hatred. It matters. More than I can ever explain. Thank you.

You know, it's funny. People ask me a lot of questions about i/p that they think will have simple and straightforward answers that just don't. And I end up writing a lot of essays because of this. The questions you wrote me seem like they should be complex, but feel relatively straightforward to me.

Now, to your first bullet point: I don't know. I truly do not know. I think that G-d is fundamentally just...G-d, and in so being, G-d is truly unknowable to me. I think many Jews have many different interpretations on why G-d creates evil. I'm no rabbi, but one of my BFFs is and so is her mother and great grandfather. That doesn't give me any kind of authority. It just means I've spent a lot of time thinking about theological questions like this. As for my perspective, I'm a progressive/reform Jew, not a humanistic Jew. I do actually believe in G-d, but I vibe with the community philosophies of Humanistic Judaism a lot. So that's the perspective I'm coming from here:

I'm not a particular fan of the Book of Job, because I think it gets twisted and interpreted in Christian ways more than most Hebrew books and it can too easily be twisted into a "Don't question G-d, because G-d is perfect" narrative that I find to be fundamentally at odds with how I practice Judaism. Also, it's just a very sad story about how a good and kind man lost everything, and it makes me sad to think about. HOWEVER, that traditional "Don't question G-d" narrative is not how I learned to think about that book. The way I learned it, I believe the Book of Job describes this issue most explicitly. After Job loses everything he holds dear and talks to all his friends and begs again and again "Why? Why did G-d do this to me? Why would G-d do this to me when I'm a good person?" And basically G-d hears everyone answering for G-d with various reasons, "Maybe you were bad." "Maybe you should make an offering" Maybe this. Maybe that. And eventually G-d responds from within a storm (paraphrased of course) 'Why the fuck do you think it's your business to know? I made the whole universe! I made everything you see. I made the world that gave you your family in your first place. Why do you think you get to question my motives?'

The way I always interpreted that is: I don't fricking know! It's not really my business. What am I gonna do? Stop G-d? How does my knowing why G-d creates evil help anything? It doesn't mean we don't question G-d. It means we should instead focus on what we CAN control. I can't make 10/7/2023 not happen any more than I could stop The Holocaust or form an ocean. That's divine business, not human business. What I CAN do is make the world better now. What use is it challenging things that we cannot change? Things that are in the past? What's the point of asking why bad things happen when we can instead focus on stopping more bad things from happening. G-d named us his people when Abraham fought with G-d to stop the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham repeatedly asked, "But are you sure? But what if there are 100 good people? 50 good people? 10 good people?" And G-d kept responding, basically, 'I mean, there aren't. I know this cuz of how I'm G-d and know all the things. But knock yourself out looking.' My interpretation of this was that G-d doesn't get mad when we do our utmost to help our fellow human beings. G-d gets mad when we waste our energy that we could be using to help our fellow man to instead be angry and rage futilely against the past. I say this as someone with PTSD as someone who attempted to stop a tragedy from occuring and failed and can never understand why. What informs my trauma and what makes it so hard to get past isn't that G-d allowed it to happen. It's that people did. It's that I begged for help before it happened--over and over and over to dozens of adults in various positions of authority in order to prevent this terrible thing from happening (no, I will not now or ever disclose what that thing is). And all the people who could have helped failed me, and now two people are dead. Because someone did an evil, evil thing. And a bunch of other people let it happen. I'm not mad at G-d. I'm mad at people. And yet, I also know that hating people and finding reasons to dismiss them and despise them is what leads to more tragedies like that happening. So, despite my rage, truly the only thing to do is to love people. It's the only that helps. It's the only thing that repairs the world. It's the only thing that we can control. So, in short, my answer to "Why does G-d create evil?" is "Why should I spend my valuable time on earth trying to answer that question when, instead, I can spend that same exact amount of time asking millions of people, 'How can I help? What's wrong, and how can I help make any part of it better?'?" We don't need to understand G-d to make the world a better place. I'm fine leaving G-d stuff to G-d and spending my time on the human stuff.

Now, your second bullet point. Love their souls. You don't have to love what they've done. But they are human beings, as are we all. I think this can also easily be twisted into the Christian framework of "Hate the sin, love the sinner," but that's not what I mean at all. People's evil deeds are a part of them. They need to take responsibility. There is no divine absolution for crimes that people do unto each other in Judaism. If you harm a person, G-d cannot forgive you for that. Only the person or people you harmed can forgive you. And to a certain degree, we are all defined by our actions toward others. And so, no. I do not forgive the terrorists who woke up and decided to kill a bunch of Israelis and Israeli-adjacent humans. I do not forgive those who celebrate the deaths of Israelis because of some misguided sense of justice. I do not forgive the people who continue to send me hatred and death threats day after day after day after day. And I do not love the parts of them that did and do those horrible, unforgivable things. But my goodness. They were babies once. They either had parents who love(d) them, which is so sad, because they have this life of love and they chose instead to fill it with so much hate. Or they didn't have any parents or loved ones or anyone to guide them and, my goodness. That is so sad. How terrifying and alone that must feel. Maybe they have friends and family who love them and are instead wasting their precious time on this planet directing their energy at raging against me and 15 million other Jews they've never met. Or maybe they don't have anyone who loves them and they think that hating me and harming me will bring them some sense of purpose and joy. What a horrid way to live.

My Grandpa died last year. I have a wonderful family for whom I'm very grateful, and I even have good memories with my Grandpa. But he was not a good person. He came from an abusive home, and weaponized that abuse on his loved ones until he drove them all away. He was a narcissist. Not in the pop psychology sense. But in the actual clinical sense. He ruined every relationship that ever mattered to him--personal and professional. And in the end, because of his own actions, he died alone. He had pushed everyone so far (often with legal threats and action) that when he died, he laid on a slab for weeks because nobody could figure out who to call, because he had no one left. (For reference, Jewish burials are supposed to happen rather quickly and two weeks is...not good.) He was the only person in his generation who was not born in Israel--my family on his side has lived in Israel since looooong before even the British Mandate and he was the only person in his family born and raised in the US. As far as we can tell, the family on that side has been in Israel for as long as Jews have existed. He was religious. And while I've never been to Israel or met any of my family there, he did go. And he kept in touch with his relatives there before driving them away too. He was a wealthy man, but convinced himself that everyone only wanted him for his money and then decided to horde it instead. He left nothing to his children or to me. He left all his money in an endowment to his university--a place that uses that money to fund anti-Israel organizations now. He died alone, without his family that lived nearby, and with a legacy that will now cause active harm to the family that lived far away. He could have died surrounded by the loved ones from around the world who wanted nothing more than to be near him and loved by him. His story is a tragedy. The story of every person who chooses hatred over love is a tragedy. The story of someone who woke up and chose to murder others or to delight in the death of others is a tragedy. I love the soul in the center of these people. I loved my grandfather. I could not be around him. I cannot forgive some of the things he said and did. But I love the person he could have been. I love the part of him that gave me some good memories. I love the family he gave to me.

No, we do not all need to love or forgive those who have wronged us or terrorized us or murdered our loved ones. But that is different from mourning a human soul. From loving the potential of a human soul to do good in the world, and mourning the loss of that soul and its potential. Every human being--every single one no matter what they have done in their lives--has the potential to create goodness and make the world a better place. Every moment of every single day is a new chance to meet that challenge and do our best. Sure, not all of us have it in us to try our best every single moment. Sometimes life is hard and we're sad and tired and hungry and angry. And that's ok, because we have tomorrow, and an hour from now, and a minute from now. But the moment someone chooses to take action and decides that action should be to cause another harm or celebrate the harm that was caused? That's a tragedy. And when a life is extinguished, that is a life that loses its potential to try again and do better. We shouldn't love people because we deem them worthy of love. We should love people because they are people. And so are we. And how wonderful is that? I could choose to hate them. It would be so easy! But why should I do that? What do I gain? What do they gain? And isn't it so wonderful that I chose to love instead? And isn't it so wonderful that you can, too?

As for your final bullet point: I have no preference. I say goyim cuz it's easier for me. Goy/gentile/non-Jew are all fine to me. I have some icky feelings about the word gentile for a variety of linguistic reasons I won't bore you with. But some other people don't like when non-Jews appropriate Yiddish words. Others (including me) find it wonderful when non-Jews call themselves goyim. All my closest non-Jewish people call themselves goyim, including my sister! Non-jew is the most neutral in English and least likely to offend anyone. But it still separates Jews as an other whereas "goy" is a way to distinguishing yourself from Jews while also being an acknowledgment of our culture. As far as I'm concerned as long as a goy is being a goy (ally, positive) rather than a goy (derogatory) I don't mind that they call themselves goyim. LOL! Idk, friend. Do what makes you happy! What do you prefer?!

Regarding The Forward news network: They are a reliable Left-Center source with a high credibility and reporting rating and only one failed fact check in the past five years for which they issued a correction. I would consider them a reliable source. They cover legitimate issues of people who support Palestinan self-determination ostensibly being punished for their stances. They publish Op-eds critical of Netanyahu, who is terrible. And they address how antisemitism is harming diaspora Jews. They seem to consistently emphasize the humanity of everyone, which you can tell based on the rest of my post is very important to me, but they also avoid over-editorializing on news that is not in the Op-Ed section. I'll never endorse any source as perfect or guaranteed to be free of problems or harm or bad takes, but they do seem to make a genuine effort to be factual, clear, and wholly truthful. Note: I highly recommend that everyone installs the Media Bias/Fact Check extension on their web browsers. Get in the habit of checking and evaluating sources critically. It's a skill that will serve you your whole life.

@clawdia-houyhnhnm I hope this helps. And thank you for your thoughtful ask and commitment to intercultural understanding. <3

[suffersinfandom]

I feel for the Izzy fans, I really do. It sucks to have your favorite character killed off, especially when you feel like their death serves no narrative purpose. It genuinely hurts to lose a character that you identify closely with, and it's okay to be sad and grieve. The character might not be real, but the grief is. Let people mourn. Don't be rude to the ones who are just being sad in their little corners of the internet, yeah?

That said.

Some of the stuff I've seen in the OFMD fandom today? Worst shit I've seen in a fandom that I love and care about, and grief is no excuse. I know I'm a no one in this fandom and I'm mostly typing into a void, but I've got to get some things out:

The show doesn't deserve to be canceled. None of the creators, producers, or writers deserve to be canceled. Nothing queerphobic, homophobic, or ableist happened.

Izzy's death was not an insult or a cruelty or a targeted attack.

David Jenkins and the rest of the writers did not gaslight and abuse anyone (yeah, those are take I've seen).

It wasn't "objectively" a cheap or meaningless or badly-written death. You can hate it and that's okay, but that's still subjective!

Izzy was not the main character or the "heart" of the show. The heart of the show -- the show itself -- is Ed and Stede's relationship. We have been told as much.

"Ed hasn't faced any consequences for his actions." He has though? He didn't gaslight girlboss his way back into everyone's hearts. Izzy is not Ed's hapless and helpless victim. He was almost beaten to death and ran around in a penitence onesie with a catbell on; I think those were consequences.

"How do you feel when gay characters are randomly killed off to help a straight couple progress their narrative? Not good, huh? That's how disabled fans feel." It's okay to feel that way, but don't make any sweeping assumptions about disabled fans. I'm disabled and I'm gonna say that's not what happened here.

"How dare you kill off this character who's abused, flawed, suicidal, disabled, and queer!" Ed is still right over there, yeah? Check, check, check, check, and check. (Little note: I've seen a lot of "he's not disabled!" Even if you don't buy the kneebrace ((Ed Teach with bad joints is so important to me, shhh)), what about invisible disabilities? What about mental health issues? I'm not here to diagnose a fictional character, but it's clear to me that Ed has mental health problems that dramatically impact his life.)

"It's sick that Izzy died in the arms of his abuser apologizing to him." I don't even know where to start with this one, but I get the feeling that some parts of the fandom only consider physical abuse valid. Mental, verbal, and emotional abuse are pretty fucking damaging and I think it's sick that some folks think they aren't actually abuse.

People who enjoyed the last episode of season two aren't media illiterate. People who love Gentlebeard aren't abusive narcissists.

I just.

I really, truly feel for Izzy fans for I too have lost a blorbo. I'm giving a huge hug to the Izzy enjoyers who aren't out there making threats and calling everyone abusers and being outright hostile to anyone who had the nerve to enjoy this season. Like, I genuinely hope you guys are doing okay, and if you need an ear, I'm game.

[comicaurora]

Lighting critique of a recent panel ! Dark ambient lighting is a favorite art subject of mine, so i figured this would be a good time to give some input ! ii say as if we havent been in the undergroound chapter for like a month in which it didnt occur to me to pay attention to lighting Oh well loool here it is nowwwwwwww hope you dont mind the input

Huh.

Okay, so first off, thanks - this is cool and your lighting looks very nice. I look forward to seeing what you make!

Second - I really hope sending this kind of ask isn't a habit of yours, because unsolicited artistic criticism comes across as remarkably rude.

Art criticism for the purposes of improvement is a social contract entered between two artists, typically in a scholastic environment. An artist presents their work to other artists whose opinions they trust and value, and those artists weigh in with their thoughts. Critical to the process is that the presenting artist is showing their art for the purpose of improvement, and they're prepared to receive that input because they're actively asking for it.

In contrast, I make this comic so people can read it, and while I certainly don't mind if they take it apart to analyze it or find ways the writing and art could be improved, I, the creator, am not asking for that and - more importantly - will not really benefit from it.

For instance, in this case, my style of background lighting and shading is optimized most specifically to accommodate for the fact that I need to make a lot of these pages quickly, and correspondingly cannot give everything 110%. Any individual panel could absolutely be more polished, but I often shade these backgrounds in batches of ten pages or more, each page with an average of six panels that need individual shading. So that's sixty individual backgrounds I need to shade in one go. It doesn't make your advice wrong, or even unhelpful for an artist setting out to learn this kind of technique - but it does make it unhelpful for me. This is something you realistically had no way of knowing, and I don't hold it against you! But this is why I have a short list of artists and writers whose input I actually ask for sometimes, and that list is composed of people who know me, my creative priorities, and how my process works. Because they know what I'm working with, their advice stands a much better chance of being actually helpful to me.

Criticism, like all art, has an audience it is designed for. In art school environments or artistic coworker situations, the audience for the criticism is the artist being critiqued and the other artists who are learning from the communal experience they are all agreeing to share. This is the exception and not the rule, however. Outside of this space, the audience for criticism of a work of art is typically the subset of the audience for that work of art that are trying to learn something from the experience or understand what did and didn't work for them. This group can discuss what they did and didn't like, what they would have changed, what parts worked for them that may not have worked for other members of the audience, etc. This space of critical analysis forms the backbone of most fandoms and can be incredibly interesting and rewarding to play around in.

The audience for that kind of criticism is not the creator of the art. In the same way a creator can never be fully immersed in their own fandom audience, this form of communal critique from the audience side of things does not work when directed at the creator. In the context of this work of art, we exist in very different spaces and operate under different parameters. If there's one thing I learned from back when I used to check in on the fan discord community, it's that most conversation in this space operates under the assumption that the creator will not see it or take it personally. I cannot be in the audience of my own audience.

All that to say, thanks for the thought, but please be careful doing this in the future - tumblr is the land of kneejerk hostility and poor reading comprehension, and I don't want to see you getting shredded for a kind intention. And I hope some people find this impromptu tutorial helpful!

[paramasqueradeva]

🛑🚫Series I will be dropping because the Comic Creator never continued them or I Lost Interest🚫🛑

👉The DOOR South of Town [Deltarune Comic Dub] - (Was never Continued)

👉Asriel's "Friend" [Deltarune Comic Dub] - Was never continued and I lost interest, it feels like the creator lost the direction of the story, I will upload Part 3 before dropping it because I already edited so much of it, so I might as well upload it even if I don't like the ending. (it feels open-ended)

👉I'm Sorry Cassie... [ FNAFSB DLC Dubbed Comic ] - (Was never Continued)

‼️‼️DISCLAIMER‼️‼️

I made a Mistake in a recent Twin Runes Episode and have discovered that my almost non-existent Dyslexia is activated when I see Chara's Red text. Usually, I'm good at catching the mistakes before I post it, because I will, without fail, say a sentence wrong every time. But sometimes I miss it.😭 ( I am not saying this to convince Akanemon to change the text, I love the red text for Chara and I hope it never changes🤩)

So if you stumble into a mistake in one of my videos just read the text and ignore me, and know that I did not do it on purpose or to change the meaning it's just that my brain didn't pick on it.🥲

Sorry for the ramble.

Your Host,

Para

And @akanemnon sorry for the Mistakes 🫠

[alchemania]

“Don't you hate her?”

Furina turned, eyebrows raised in confusion. “Huh?”

“Your creator. Don't you hate her?”

The girl pondered a moment, looking unsure. “I..don't know.”

“You should,” he asserted. “All this time you had to suffer alone, for what?? People who didn't even care about the real you?? People who were ungrateful and selfish and only cared about themselves, at the end of the day??”

“Not everyone is like that,” Furina protested, shaking her head slowly. “I ..did suffer, but it all worked out in the end. Besides, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her-”

“The same could be said for my mother,” Wanderer interrupted, eyes flashing. “I came into being because of her, but that doesn't make her a good person, or a good parent. She hurt me. These two facts can coexist. Focalors created you, yes, but she also subjected you to 500 years of suffering where you couldn't confide in ANYONE or risk losing everything. Wasn't that awful?? Wasn't it a horrible time? You were all alone living on a hope and a prayer, and if it went wrong, it would have been all for nothing. You were a means to an end, and what do you have to show for it? Sure, everybody was saved and all was well, but now you're just - a person, and people hate you for what you did, people hate you for what you DIDN'T do. Was it worth it?? Are you satisfied?”

“I am,” she nodded, after a beat. “Because, this is what I was created to do. And, I'm free now. I don't know what I'm going to do, but at least my life is mine. I can do whatever I want. I can live.” Wanderer's jaw clenched, and Furina frowned, nervously. “..why are you so angry?”

“Because SOMEONE has to be!” he shouted, voice cracking. “I mean- I heard about the trial, they were gonna kill you- they lured you there because you wouldn't talk, right? And then after everything, did anyone apologize to you or- praise you, for all the hell you went through? Anything??”

“.. Neuvillette is taking care of me.”

The pain on Wanderer's face was almost palpable, at that.

“..anything else?”

“.. it's fine," she tried to appease. "It's not like I serve any purpose anymore. Like I said, I did what I was created to, so I'm not of any use and-”

“Stop.”

“..what?”

“STOP- talking like that,” Wanderer snapped, eyes suspiciously glossy. She sounded so much like him, who he used to be, and it hurt so badly.

A blank sheet of paper has infinite potential, but it is nothing as long as it is empty, he'd said, a good while ago. He'd been wrong about himself, and Furina was wrong now.

“You're not just - what you were made for. You don't - what happened to you is wrong. You're not DISPOSABLE now that everything is over.”

“It- it was for everyone's sake, compared to my suffering, it's obvious what's more important! I had to save them! It’s what I was born for! It doesn't matter -”

“It DOES,” he yelled, eyes glowing an almost neon icy blue, and she startled. “Stop acting like your suffering was something that was necessary. Stop acting like it was just for the greater good. That doesn't matter! The fact of the matter is that you suffered, and you were hurt, and you're STILL hurting! And- barely anybody is there for you..your creator, she should have been there for you, she should have protected you, but she didn't. She didn't. And you - you have every right to be angry with her, for not being there for you. For you being unable to live, until now. It was wrong, even if it was, as she claimed, for the greater good. Don't defend her.”

"She loved me-"

"And she left you, so not enough."

Just like my mother ..

“...Wanderer,” Furina ventured, worry all over her face.

“What?”

“You're crying…”

..oh. He hadn't even noticed, but his cheeks WERE wet, and he put a hand to one with a start, quickly scrubbing at his face. “Ah-” and he pulled his hat over his face, to hide it.

“..it was a lot. I often wondered when everything would end. I wanted, to tell someone so badly what was going on,” Furina admitted, and Wanderer looked up, eyes red from weeping. “There were a lot of times I didn't think I was going to make it, but. But I did, and, and everything was okay.”

“But are you?”

There was a long pause, and the two of them stared at each other until Furina slowly shook her head no, hot tears streaming down her cheeks.

“See? You're - we're both so messed up, from everything, and no one was there,” Wanderer almost whispered, looking out the window. "No one was there to help. ..You're strong as hell, I'll give you that. If I was in your shoes, I don't know if I would have made it. It seems people are stronger than I've given them credit for..”

It was something that surprised him, again and again.

“I just don't understand why you care..”

“.. I don't know why I do,” he shrugged. “Maybe because you remind me of myself, and. It hurts, looking at you and feeling like I'm looking in the mirror. But someone has to be in your corner and -”

“And you want to do that?”

A pause.

“..Well, if you don't stand up for you, no telling who will.”

“You don't have to cry over me. I'm -”

“If you say you're not worth it, I am going to bodyslam you,” Wanderer growled, eyes flashing, and Furina put up her hands.

“I wasn't going to! I was going to say that I will be okay. Not now, but. Eventually. I'm healing. I promise. There's people who care, like you.”

Wanderer fell silent then, looking away, and she reached out and squeezed his hand. “Thank you. I'm still wrestling with - with what I want to do and where I'll go but. It's nice to know that I'm valued just for existing.”

“That's all you need to be valued,” he muttered, looking to the floor. “You don't have to prove the worth of your existence. It's fine to just be.”

“..are you talking to yourself, or me?”

He looked to her then, expression unreadable, and she smiled sadly, in understanding. “Both is good. It's okay to just be. We're here, and we'll be okay.”

“Yeah,” Wanderer whispered, giving a shaky breath. “..we will."

[simp-ly-writes]

begging for some more trev fics when u have time !! 💙

Cookbooks & Love Letters

─────── · · A Mythical Kitchen Fanfic

Pairing: Trevor Evarts x Chef!Reader

─ · · SUMMARY: You are a celebrity chef, rivaling gordon ramsay himself online and when you come to Good Mythical Morning to star in one of your favourite childhood youtubers videos, you find yourself falling in love as well out of all things!

─ · · TAGS: gender-neutral pronouns, light swearing, mutual pining, strangers to friends to lovers, mentions of anxiety, fluff.

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | WORDCOUNT: 1,780

─ · · A/N: I fully support Trevors IRL relationships, this is fully fictional and meant for entertainment purposes! Thank you for the ask, kinda got carried a way with writing this hahaha!

─────── · ·

You were are a very famous culinary youtuber (on track to surpass Gordon Ramsay... not that you didn't like to brag about it or anything...) but you loved your job and the community you had built on youtube

There are many fan compilations and edits of you online detailing you forgetting just how popular were from becoming a three-times New York Times bestselling author for your various cookbooks to hosting your own private panels at creator clash

And you are embarrassed to admit how much you have fanboyed/girled in front of your favourite youtuber's you had grown up watching, such as Ian and Anthony alongside Rhett and Link... little did you know, they were all big fans of yours as well that lead you to meeting Trevor Evarts.

At first, you did not think he liked you very much as he refused to make eye-contact with you or hold a handshake for more than a second. In all honesty, you felt a bit subconscious that he knew more than you, having had a formal education while you worked yourself from the ground up. He also seemed so confident, more than you did when you first started working in front of the camera only a few years ago, he was so natural about it that you couldn't help but admire him, his smile, his humour, and then you realized you watched every video of him ever while doing some totally quick research for todays shoot at GMM... I hope he dosn't notice me stareing...

─────── · ·

Trevor was shitting himself internally, the whole office could see it as he practically skipped around the office at the announcement you were doing an interview with Rhett and Link on Good Mythical Morning. He had packed all three of your cookbooks and a sharpie, waiting for you to sign them. Especially your most recent one, he swore by it in almost every recent video and the fans caught onto this, shipping you ever since them... but you were too famous to know this... right?

Josh had to sit the younger man down and calm his nerves. "You both are incredibly sweet people, I'm sure even if you did say something completely off they would forgive you-"

"You sound so confident that I'll say the wrong thing, Josh."

"Well... I would be nervous too if I were in your shoes..."

"and why are you not nervous, they are like the biggest creator on the platform for food!?"

"Well... I don't exactly imagine myself going on a date with them outside of work." And Trevors cheeks were now painted a bright red and in that moment you decided to enter the kitchen space, eyeing up all the appliances and gadgets before introducing yourself and Trevor froze himself in time.

Your smile, the ways your eyes slightly crinkled at the ends and the feeling of how perfectly your hand fit into his own. Trevor struggled to introduce himself, feeling his hands begin to sweat and kicked himself from pulling away so quickly. That spark of a connection fading as for a split second you looked saddened before introducing yourself to Josh and the rest of the crew.

'I really like your cookbooks," Trevor blurted out, eyes going wide as he questioned why he said that only to find answers when your eyes met his once more, your cheeks started to warm, a chuckle escaping your lips as you shuffled your feet. "Um, thank you... I see you have them here-erm do you want me to sign them? Wait forget that, that was really rude of me to assume," you ramble, starting to pick at the skin by your finger tips as Trevor rushes to pick up the stack.

"Yes, I brought them here since I knew you were coming. I really like your one-pot pasta bake, really saved my ass during the first few weeks or working here at Mythical and I really just adore all your work and I really like you-" Trevor speaks at a mile a minute, the room seeming to fade around you both as staff begin to room, catching onto the moment you both were having.

"... I really like you too Trevor, you seem like a really great person. I'm happy I get to work with you. Maybe we could go out after we're done filming? I'd love to get to know you more with more time," you reply in an even tone as Trevors heart begins to slow, thankful that you didn't take his rushed words in a bad way.

"I would really like that," Trevor smiles, watching as you sign every book carefully yet take extra time on the last. Trevor starts to lean in, curious as to what you are writing only to find the book slammed in his face and placed at the bottom of the stack. Handing them back over you add softly, "Please read the last one later..."

"Okay," Trevor replies in an equally soft turn before a scream from Josh has you both remembering the jobs you needed to get done.

─────── · ·

🔔 cookingwith(name) just posted to instagram!

─────── · ·

Liked by trevorevarts, goodmythicalmorning, bffs_username and others

cookingwith(name) if you told me 10 years ago that i would be cooking for THEE Rhett, Link, and Good Mythical Morning Staff... I would not have believed you- I still don't believe it.

View all 7,342 comments

goodmythicalmorning we were so happy to have you (and your cooking) on the show, please come again! (we realize how much Josh's cooking now sucks)

↳ mythicalchefjosh hey! 💢 you were not saying that last night when I barbecued those handcrafted veggie burgers!

username09 king/queen of the kitchen, please teach me your ways!

username88 what I wouldn't give to taste some of your cooking, these people just don't now how good that have it!

bffs_username looked so cute in todays video! or well that person in the background did, you look fine I guess...

↳ cookingwith(name) i'm really out here getting slandered on main 😭

username17 anyone else notice how quiet Trevor was in this video? kinda adorable how chef (name) and Trevor kept looking at one another through the video. 💗

trevorevarts send me the recipe from todays video, please, i'm begging! 🙏

↳ cookingwith(name) and what would i get in return? 👀 ↳ trevorevarts uhhh... i'll pay for dinner tonight? ↳ cookingwith(name) you have yourself a deal, sir! 🤝 ↳ username01 AHHHH WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!??! WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THIS AND OR FREAKIN' OUT>!>>!>?!?!?!

username22 I don't know about you, but i'm really feeling (name) ad Trevor together. Their slight anxiousness and constantly helping one another clean and grab materials was so sweet to watch 🥰

username30 I keep messing up your potato salad dish, help?

username41 I just adore your cooking dear, please follow me back.

gordon_ramsay come on my show next!

↳ cookingwith(name) last time you kicked me out, Gordon. ↳ gordon_ramsay then just don't get yourself kicked out this time, darling. ↳ cookingwith(name) 🙄 no wonder i'm becoming more popular than you ↳ gordon_ramsay don't start saying stuff like that now. I still have the highest subscriber count ↳ cookingwith(name) but not for much longer~ ↳ gordon_ramsay hmm sure. ↳ cookingwith(name) hmm. fine. ↳ gordon_ramsay fine.

username61 not (name) out here beefing with THEE Gordon Ramsay LMAO 💀

─────── · ·

🔔 trevorevarts just posted, check it out!

─────── · ·

Liked by cookingwith(name), goodmythicalmorning, mythicalchefjosh and others

trevorevarts dinner w/ @.cookingwith(name) :)

View all 1,901 comments

cookingwith(name) this was super fun, we should do this again sometime when we both get the chance to next :)

↳ trevorevarts yes, definably, totally, one-hundred precent. ↳ cookingwith(name) okay, cool! ↳ trevorevarts awesome hahaha ↳ mythicalchefjosh you both are too awkward for your one good.

username27 never would have seen this coming on my 2024 bingo card, but im not not here for it.

username01 you two are so cute! I don't know if I rather eat you or your food. maybe both...

spennser woah dude, those flowers for me? I hope you know I'm allergic though.

↳ trevorevarts gosh darn! thought i really nailed them.

username60 this post made me smile.

goodmythicalmorning does this mean we get more good food? because then we are all for this.

username40 calling it now, they are getting married!

─────── · ·

After your date, Trevor could not keep the smile off his face as he walked back into his apartment and took off his jacket and shoes before remembering the stack of cookbooks on the kitchen counter.

Fingers trailing over your signature and short sweet notes, complementing his cookings and to his surprise, writing down a joke of his you linked and nevertheless remembered had his heart fluttering yet again. But even as he was taking his time to observe every curve to every letter of your handwriting, he was anxious to read the last message.

"Trevor, by the time you read this after what I considered to be our first date (and I hope you do too lol). I just want to you know that I'm really excited about this and where it will go. And that I haven't felt this way about anything or anyone in a really long time. I hope you feel the same way, - (name)"

─────── · ·

A few years later...

🔔 cookingwith(name) just posted to instagram!

─────── · ·

Liked by trevorevarts, goodmythicalmorning, bffs_username and others

cookingwith(name) 10/10/30.

comments have been limted

cookingwith(name) longer message: thank you for being my support, the love of my life, the greatest chef and the even greater friend. I could not have imagined life before or without you and I am so glad that we now share this inseparable bond that I will cherish until the end of time. I love you. ❤️

↳ trevorevarts I could not imagine another person I would rather marry and spend my life with than you and your incredible ability to make me forget how to speak for my love for you is inexplainable even if I used every word ever known to humankind. I love you. ❤️

mythicalchefjosh now where do I get one of these magical cookbooks??

goodmythicalmorning so happy for the two of you, everyone here at GMM wishing you both a lifetime of happiness together! (and then some!)

BFFs_username OMG WHAT THE HELL??? My bestie just got married today everyone! and to the only person as kind as them ❤️

gordon_ramsay a beautiful ceremony for an even more beautiful couple. you two have something many only think to be in movies yet make that a reality, wishing you both nothing but success ❤️

─────── · ·

─ · · A/N: love some fluff every now and then!

─ · · TAGLIST: @lisiliely @missflufffanfics

[syn4k]

hello!!! as you are the resident miante person in mcyt (there might be another one but in my opinion it's you) I have a question: if I wanted to watch mianite how would I go about that/where do I find it? I know it's a youtube thing but I don't know which channel it's actually on and I am. Extremely Curious about it & want to watch it but I have no idea where to do that /genuine question

(also, I know it's got multiple POVs, is there anyone you'd recommend I start with?)

hello! thanks for the ask!

mianite has four main POVs that remain in VOD and episode form on the creators' channels, they all have a playlist for it and you can find them pretty easily by looking up "[creator name] mianite s1" on youtube.

i recommend starting off with jordan captainsparklez' POV like we did, as he is involved in mostly everything in both s1 and s2 and his episodes are edited down to only really have the important bits. if you decide to watch back through the series later from another perspective, tom syndicate's POV is another good one to watch as he's kind of on the opposite side of everything happening in s1 and it puts a lot of his actions in context that jordan left out of his episodes.

if you don't want to watch through the series in its entirety (which is completely understandable), fern @voidandradiance has made a playlist of the important lore moments in both mianite s1 and s2 that she'd be happy to share :]

also it's really funny to me that we are the resident Mianite Guy to you when we've only been here for like, six months. this series turns ten years old today and there are people in this fandom who have been here since the beginning of it or at least who have been here for way, way longer than we have.

if you do end up sticking around here, i cannot recommend these people enough:

@kiwibirdlafayette - AMAZING artist who has been here in the trenches here since 2014. syndisparklez enthusiast. his art-only blog is @grailknightmonty and he also posts Hermitcraft stuff occasionally :3

@transandor chase my good friend chase!! resident Jordan Captainsparklez Guy. brilliant writer, also happens to be fistfighting The Horrors, you know how it his

@voidandradiance i already tagged him before and i'll fuckin do it again because this bitch's writing is stunning beyond words and xyr brain is HUGE. if you like the style of the stuff we write, you'll LOVE fern's work. its so beautiful that i physically cannot overhype it. its so good, y'all. its so fucking good.

@syndianites is, as far as we're concerned, the mouth of god himself when it comes to Tom Syndicate SynHD. there is nobody on this site who understands this character better than she does. they consistently leave the most galaxy brain objectively correct tags about him on our posts and she never fucking misses. this bitch Gets It and i am very lucky to be her friend

@coolcattime's blog is more of a general purpose one, like ours is, but she carries the f/f ships in the Mianite fandom and is also a great writer! she's written a lot of neat AU ideas and although we haven't talked with her much she definitely lives up to her url- she's one cool cat :]

@cactusprisms is also someone that we see around a lot in the notes of our mianite posts, although we unfortunately havent talked much. also more of a general purpose blog but worth following anyways. shes vibing.

hope this helps! <3

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hi,I hope we are not too annoyed with all our questions.

I'm new to the fandom,and after watching the show I really thought that Loustat would be the popular ship.I know most people are multi-shipper here,but it's funny how Louis and Lestat are not popular together. It seems like you've been here longer than many of us (books and Tv show)from you observations do you see major differences between fans favorite in the show and the books?

Also,have you changed your opinion on a character because of the show?

Not really to the latter.

I think the show cast the characters perfectly, so they fit for me. :) I like this Louis more, if anything. They enhanced him (though they did enhance them all, imho).

We lucked out so badly.

As per Loustat... *sighs*

You have to understand that Lestat is seen by many as the big bad abuser ™, and nothing else. No matter how often cast, crew, writers and creators have said that we have seen only half the story, no matter how often errors in the tale have been pointed out, no matter how often I have dug out the episode insider with Rolin pointing out the "tinkering" even then... anyone who doubted Louis' tale in any kind of fashion was met with accusations of racism and slurs.

I'm not kidding. I wish I was. I still have comments on my fics that I left there, on purpose. I have the asks here. There are people who call themselves my "number one hate blog".

I don't want to rehash all that now.

But imagine trying to write coming from the books, knowing what will happen, seeing the "seeds" in the show (as Assad called it), reading the interviews, knowing the tale will shift... and being met with something like that.

And now imagine not having the book background, and being harassed on anon, or with comments. And not having the background to defend your ship.

And I don't even mean actual criticism here, if valid or not.

No, I mean harassment. Accusations, death threats. Comparisons to the KKK. Whole campaigns against me, and others. Not kidding. I put my rants into my bio if you're interested, lol.

This is the fandom where I started blocking in earnest, and I come from friggin' Hannibal.

A tale like this, with racial changes in a color-conscious way (which actually brought the difficult topics into play (and I love them for it!)), left hanging for 18 months... that didn't do the fandom any good.

And some of the comments in the podcast didn't do it any good either with the expectations it raised, and which will be now... well. Not wholly disappointed, but... some took that as gospel. When it's not. It will be a bit messy soon, and with what's to come wrt to Claudia, too.

Soooo... that is why Loustat isn't particularly popular right now.

That will change though.

Rolin, as well as Sam and Jacob keep repeating that this show is built around Loustat.

Loustat are at the heart. They are the heart.

The books start and end with them.

The show foreshadows their dance at the end.

I for one am continuing to write for them, even if I have currently hit a wall on my current fic, but I was mightily distracted by all the new content^^ (like everyone else I think^^).

I love that they are so complicated, and messy, and petty, and so, so IN LOVE.

Jacob called it that, too. "Petty and in love".

And they are.

PS: And no worries re asks :) I love talking to you guys^^