lenaperseveranceoxton

[lenaperseveranceoxton]

I feel like I've ranted on this blog before about how, every few weeks, there's a new video essay that pops up in my YouTube recommendations with hundreds of thousands of views about how much "Overwatch SUCKS!!!" and how brainless people must be to want to listen to the same tired, usually flat-out wrong takes about the game over and over. I couldn't find it with a quick search, though, so I'm assuming I might've just typed it all in a private Discord server, but either way, the thumbnail of the most recent type of video in question caused me to sharply exhale out of my nose.

Look, I know they're British. It's their one crime that I cannot defend, but that's a bit much, isn't it? 😔

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Aaron Keller will say "Looking ahead to 2025, we’re looking into how we can make all of our heroes more engaging and unique for players," but Team 4 still won't restore Tracer's ability to blink while Sitting Around™. The favoritism towards other heroes is sickening.

(Before anyone points out the random buff Tracer just recently got, I'm joking! This is a joke! Trust me, I don't even want my little guy to be meta. That's my little guy! There are many other Damage characters for everyone else to play.)

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I know it's basically just self-harm, but man, reading the comments of any official Overwatch post on any platform has me bashing my head against a wall. Specifically, though, I foolishly just felt like reading the Steam comments on the recent post about the "Overwatch 2 Spotlight" announcement because I found it funny that Team 4 has otherwise forgotten to post there since Season 12.

Amid the "M*rvel R*vals better" slop connoisseurs (Don't even get me started about that damn game. It drives me up the wall that people basically just want to play the equivalent of launch Overwatch but worse. Franchise recognition aside, it still baffles me that it's gotten as big as it has. I don't CARE if the Crisp Ratt character plays like Tracer. I'm already Tracer!), there were comments about the game “dying” because it went "woke." No, wait, sorry, that's an outdated term. "DEI" "killed" the game.

Lena "Tracer" Oxton, the face of 2016's GOTY, has been a lesbian since December of the same year! In an era where people like LeafyIsHere were making it big on YouTube and convicted felon/adjudicated rapist Donald J. Trump had won his first presidential election, Team 4 stunted on all the haters and showed us the funky little time-jumper kissing their beautiful redhead girlfriend! They paved the way for LGBT representation in every hero shooter that followed, and I will die on that hill. Call of Duty: Black Ops 6 would not have a non-binary operator if it wasn't for them! I swear!

Anyway, back to the comments I've been seeing in Overwatch's official posts. Plenty of (totally fair-minded) critics apparently believe the game is "failing" because we don't get enough updates. Yes, Overwatch is supposedly failing because we only get one hero every ~18 weeks! ARE YOU KIDDING?

Maybe we could use more maps for the newer modes, but Overwatch is actually in such a good place right now! Although I still disagree with some of Season 9's changes, I'm still having a great time with it on a day-to-day basis. (In fact, the recent urges to play Overwatch have been distracting me from writing Overwatch fan fiction😔. Unfortunate.)

What ever happened to playing a game because you enjoyed it? Do people just not have attention spans anymore? Overwatch's current flow of content is FINE. It's okay to take breaks from games! Do you really need constant stimulation, a new set of jingling keys with each waking day?

Sure, I think Overwatch's monetization model could use some work. It was more satisfying to regularly play Overwatch when there was the constant promise of loot boxes rather than having nothing to earn with a maxed-out battle pass, but I understand it didn't bring in the big bucks. At the same time, I would assume Mythic Prisms could fill that gap now? Either way, it's too late. Microsoft would never let Team 4 take away such a large source of income now. (I do find it funny that people only complain about Overwatch's $20 skins when every other live-service game does the same thing, but that's neither here nor there.)

All right, all right. Why am I talking about all this? Well, the wording of Overwatch's announcement ("new heroes... coming this February and beyond") and the animation of Maximilien typing "43" at the beginning of Stéphane Cornicard's recently released reading of "The Pocket King" make me concerned that they're giving into the demands for more frequent heroes with Season 15.

(Don't let the flame die out, though, PvEbros!!!)

I won't tag him because I know he has a lot of shooters on this hellsite, but I am the most recent hero's #1 hater. (No hate to Conor McLeod, though!) Even with him aside, there are other heroes that I like as characters and don't mind playing as or against, but from a gameplay standpoint, they feel like unnecessary additions with fundamentally flawed kits. (In case you haven't noticed, I'm specifically talking about a certain Samoan here.) I think we could've stopped adding new heroes a while ago.

Still, if we must have a Hero 34, I think it's more probable that they will have ties to Maximilien, but with Stéphane Cornicard's heavy involvement in recent content, I don't think it's far-fetched to assume they've gotten him onboard to voice act a full-fledged hero, either. So, what's he going to do? Help his team pay their taxes?

It reminds me of when MomoDeary posted Lemon Tea art on her (now-locked) Twitter and captioned it with something along the lines of "Emily should be a hero, and her only ability should be blowing kisses to Lena from across the map to heal [them] 🥰," and you know what? I once opposed adding Emily as a hero, but now, I couldn't agree more. If more heroes are the only thing that can save this game, then I expect them to pay my taxes and/or be gay and do crimes. Only then will we truly be "so fucking back."

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did some emoji meme doodles on twitter today ✨

[lenaperseveranceoxton]

The new Maximilien's Vault shop is so cool, because look at my most played heroes.

It might be hard to tell with how little I talk about them (/s), but these four? They're my biggest blorbos. The blorbiest.

With how hard Season 13's cosmetics hit my Microsoft Rewards points wallet and how much Blizzard has been giving away cosmetics I've already bought for other heroes I love (e.g. Mei and her Flower Child set), I kind of promised myself to only buy battle passes, Tracer stuff, and the occasional collaboration skin. (I still love Bumblebee Bastion, but I unfortunately did not have enough Overwatch Coins for Toph Beifong Venture 😭) Still, I expected to see skins for these four in my "personalized discounts."

For example, despite the "Zombie Summer" bundle being no more than 500 Overwatch Coins (as I already owned the original skins), I didn't buy it because A) I hate the graphical fidelity of Overwatch 1 skins when placed beside Overwatch 2 skins and B) I figured I would vote with my wallet. Recolors suck. Alas, I'm now missing Grill Zombie: 76 in Peepaw's Hero Gallery, and I'm somewhat surprised it- or Huntsman: 76- didn't appear.

Recolors aside, I also missed out on Heist: 76 back in Season 12 and Siege Winston last season. Would I have bought them now? Eh, they would've had to be on one hell of a sale. On the other hand, despite being an avid Black Cat Tracer hater, it would've been nice to be one step closer to completing my collection for my KIN! (Again, Season 13 hit hard.)

What do I get in Maximilien's Vault instead?

I have played a bit of Illari in Quick Play recently, but I haven't touched Cassidy or Zarya in ages. (Granted, they were below Soldier: 76 in the screenshot above at 80 and 77 hours respectively.)

Now, with Roadhog, he's honestly one of my least favorite characters, and I go out of my way to avoid racking up playtime hours for him; he makes up only 20 of my 2,454 total tracked hours, and a lot of that is from Battle for Olympus. Since it didn't seem to track playtime, I did play him in the first Overwatch Classic to level his very low progression level up for the weekly challenge rewarding Overwatch Credits, but I still don't think that should've influenced Maximilien so much here!

With all that being said, what do you mean the Roadhog, Zarya, and Cassidy skins aren't even on a discount? What gives? Does Microsoft hate money???

Anyway, before I part, I must address the elephant in the room. Yes, it turns out the images of Maximilien I found in the files were for this live service microtransaction slop, but there were still plenty more voice lines for him than the ones heard here! Do NOT lose hope, fellow PvE enjoyers! Team 4 is not done with Maximilien yet!

[lenaperseveranceoxton]

No reason why the next Overwatch character can’t be a Greek Orthodox priest

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I'm NOT mad that my Lemon Tea headcanons were shot down yesterday. Please don't put in the newspaper that I got mad about my Lemon Tea headcanons being shot down yesterday.

HOWEVER, I just realized... how did Lena and Emily start dating when Overwatch was out of commission when Lena says they want to return to Cuba with her during Storm Rising?

Because there is nothing platonic about this.

(I would’ve noticed this sooner if it wasn’t for the initial shock of “Aw, man, so they met after The Slipstream,” I swear)

Okay, on second thought, I am mad. The Overwatch logo should be placed next to “inconsistency” and “contradiction” in every dictionary everywhere.

Hire people who actually know what they’re talking about or put this game’s sorry excuse for character writing and world building out of its misery already. 😭

[lenaperseveranceoxton]

I love how Lena is drawn in the new comic, but since it's too much work to save screencaps of every single frame they're in, I'll do it for Emily instead!

LOOK AT HER!!!

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I was already going into the new comic considering it as "not canon" to ME, because in my rewrite, the Overwatch story missions we currently have take place in April-ish of 2077, so it's like, let's not skip time already. (Even in Blizzard's canon, though, Winston ended Reflections hopeful for the new year, Overwatch 2 gives us an inexplicable two-year time skip, and now, we're wrapping up another year with no closure on Null Sector's invasion or Talon's resurgence? That's a bit cringe, isn't it?)

Still, yeowch. There goes my entire headcanon of Lena and Emily being secondary school sweethearts. Blizzard's idea of Tracer and my idea of Tracer grow further apart by the day, and at this point, I think they're doing it just to spite me in particular...

Ah, well. I've checked out of following canon to a tee long ago. Your work holds as much weight to me as fan fiction, Blizzard, so I'll just take whatever you give me and make what I want out of it. These are MY original characters from MY original universe.

[lenaperseveranceoxton]

I just finished reading the (very long) seventh comic for the OLD class-based shooter I used to play and have since grown to dislike, mostly because of its community. (If I name names, they will come for me. Said comic did provide some pretty nice closure, though.)

I was debating on making a post with that "People who be DESPERATE for attention" GIF captioned "That one game posting its long-awaited comic on the same day Overwatch Reflections released" and everything (as a light-hearted joke, of course), and then, I immediately find out we got an Overwatch comic today, as well??? WITH ANOTHER LEMON TEA KISS???

I'm going to cry. What?????

[lenaperseveranceoxton]

Happy International Lemon Tea Day to all who celebrate!

Personally, I will be spending all day trying to blow lesbophobes up with my mind, and I encourage you all to do the same.

[lenaperseveranceoxton]

You know, I shouldn't have just expected my previous post to not gain attention after saying "MORE PVE MIGHT BE ON THE WAY???" I'm mostly just here to scream into the void, but now, here I am, forcing Maximilien fans to read through my incessant yapping about Tracer to get crumbs for their boy.

This IS a blog for Tracer only, though. If I was a full-blown Overwatch content creator, then I might've compiled all of Maximilien's voice lines into one video, but alas. That doesn't mean I won't leave you all empty-handed, either!

If you want to see/hear the voice lines for yourself, the file extraction tool can be found in the #tool-releases channel of the DataWatch Discord server. (https://discord.gg/XM93ZdB) There are two ways to extract files, one of which is using DataTool, but for our current purpose, you'll want to use TankView. Disclaimer, though: You can only use the "Only view new files" option if you used the app previously. The tool can't tell what's new by scanning the game's files, it just stores a cache of everything from the previous update you used it for in your AppData folder.

To save you all some scouring, I'll write out some lines I found interesting so that you don't think I'm talking nonsense: Here are some lines that sounded like he was giving heroes upgrades before a match: "A friend of Akande's is a friend of mine." "Miss Chase? What a welcome surprise." "Nothing but the best for Akande." "Ah, Lacroix. A pleasure, as always." "This is my most exclusive stock. Have a look." "Tell me... what are you in the market for, hm?" (I understood that reference!)

Here are some other lines that interested me, though some make more sense to me than others: "I remain thankful for Lacroix's failure." "I'd expect no less from the Voice of Rio." "Now I understand Ramattra's fondness for you." (RING RING RING! RAMMAX ENJOYERS, EAT UP!) "Talon is right to fear you! Heh." "Let bygones be bygones, hm?" "When we escape, I'll pay much more than thanks." "It's good being on the same side again, isn't it?"

Okay, so after I made the initial post, I did some thinking, and it IS strange they randomly published an entire story centered around Maximilien without an explanation not too long ago, right? One that reinforced the idea that the water's getting too hot for him to stick around Doomfist?

Let's assume this IS for a PvE mode. I'm really hoping it is. Would there be a Story Mode and an All Heroes mode like older events? Because when you remove the lines for Talon heroes, it does sound like Overwatch is helping him escape, no? That last line HAS to be for Baptiste, too, right?

Don't mind me. I'm just biting at the bars of my enclosure right now.

[lenaperseveranceoxton]

I thought I heard a new Tracer elimination voice line on Sojourn while playing a Competitive match on the first day of Season 14 (December 10th), but I didn't post about it here because I saw it was already added to their quotation page on the Overwatch Fandom wiki, which I read was last updated on December 7th.

Well, I downloaded the recently-updated file extraction tool, sorted by new files, and saw it there, so I guess my instincts were right. I must've just misread the wiki page's history or something, but frankly, I was foolish to doubt that I hadn't memorized every pre-existing Tracer voice line by heart.

(The line was "Clocked out for the day, Sojo?", by the way. How many times have they called her "Sojo" now? I've lost count, but it never gets old.)

In more interesting news, I sorted by new image files first, and I saw two pictures of Maximilien.

At first, I thought "Whoa, is he finally going to be a hero?" Then, I realized Season 14 just started, and they're not going to be teasing Season 16's hero for a while.

As I skimmed through the voice lines, however, I first started hearing voice lines where he seemed to be granting certain heroes upgrades, and I thought it was for something similar to the recent "Junkenstein's Lab" and "Kingmaker" events. Then, I started hearing lines like "Get to cover-- quickly!", "They're behind you!", "I need to be revived!", and "Help me up, agents..." and started JUMPING OUT OF MY SEAT! ARE WE FINALLY GETTING A NEW PVE MODE AFTER THE LAYOFFS?

I say this because it's weird for him to tell the players to get to cover. It's weird for him to say "They're behind you," rather than just "Behind us!" if it was some sort of PvP escort mission. It's weird how many lines he has that, in a PvP environment, could lead to an overload of auditory stimuli. (That's why they removed very important lines like Soldier: 76's "You fought with honor, kid" and "You won't be forgotten" early on into Overwatch 1... very important to me, anyway.) It's all just WEIRD. This CAN'T be another one of my delusions. It just can't.

Now, back to the important matter at hand: Lena "Tracer" Oxton. Tracer has gotten four more voice lines in this update, which I guess are for this potential PvE mode? "I'm not giving up!", "Keep it going!", "Cheerio!", and "One down!"

(I thought "Cheerio!" could've been a rare Goodbye voice line like their rare "What's crackin'?" Hello voice line, but after spamming Goodbye in the Practice Range for less than a minute, I don't think that's the case.)

Unfortunately, while Maximilien also has lines thanking some heroes for saving him, it doesn't seem like he has one for Lena. He does say "Merci, Mercy. Merci," however, so I find it strange the writers felt the need to make a "Haha, French funny!" joke but couldn't write a line or two directed towards any members of the strike team that took him into custody all those years ago. It also would've been funny for him to make a jab about Lena protecting him better than they protected Tekhartha Mondatta or something, but it's fine. French funny, I guess.

Anyway, before I go, I need to keep a certain tradition on this blog going. I saw someone count that there were 54 new conversations in this update, and guess what! Lena and Jack STILL won't talk to each other!

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I absolutely adore the single Lena crumb we’ve gotten from Season 14 today. (/gen)

They’re so cute when they’re actually portrayed correctly, and given the art team’s track record from Season 6 and on, I’ll take two hundred more little pieces of official content like this over one skin anytime.

Now, where is she? Where is Emily Overwatch? I don't know how many more "It's okay, she's the one taking the picture :)"s I've got in me.

Also, while I'm here and complaining, I sure do love how many intricate living beings they've modeled for victory poses and highlight intros.

(Murphy is a good girl and all, though, so this is directed more towards Doomfist's random serval from two seasons ago than anything else.)

Can we get a victory pose of Lena with Emily already? PLEASE?

I SWEAR, IF HAZARD GETS SOMETHING WITH A FULLY-MODELED SUZY FIRST, I WILL LOSE IT!!!

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is this overwatch (i owe u my life keith ferguson)

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🎵 It's a hard-knock life for us 🎵

Filing this under "Blizzard Entertainment's Long History of Homophobia"

Thinking about how Jack Morrison is ALWAYS in the trenches in Overwatch lore

[lenaperseveranceoxton]

Fortnite's new "Kicks" cosmetic type sure is cool!

@BlizzardEntertainment @EpicGames @Crocs @FBI @POTUS

Make it happen. Now.

Tracer do you get teased bc your shoes resemble crocs?