#I don't know about the 2018 series though

[guccixstyless]

Intern (Pt. 4)

Author’s Note: My lovies, I want to sincerely apologize for delaying so much. This series started in 2018 then I started getting busy with university and other problems, I didn't know how to continue Part 4 of the series after keeping it hanging for years. I got major writer's block and lost motivation to continue. But I've been getting so many requests to continue this, so the last week I brainstormed a lot and came up with this. I lost my writing charm, so I'm very nervous posting this after these many years. I truly hope you enjoy this, Intern Series will have 2 more chapters before the ending. Thank you for sticking through, I love you all so much. xx

Word Count: 3033 words

Pairing: Harry Styles X Reader

Masterlist

***********************************************************

You reached Manchester by catching the earliest flight with Harry.

The whole plane ride he was panicking and you tried to reassure him everything is gonna be okay.

While in the plane he explained you that he couldn’t have done this alone, he had to bring someone but he cannot bring Camille, since his mum is still pissed at Camille for breaking her son’s heart.

You understood and held his hand in hopes to comfort him.

Gemma had a bad accident and right now she was in coma.

When you reached the airport, Harry looked around as one of Gemma's bestfriend said he's going to pick you both up from the airport.

"Ben," Harry called out weakly and dragged you towards Ben.

"Harry," Ben hugged Harry tightly before saying, "I'm so scared."

You heard Harry sob. You lightly patted on his shoulder.

You both got in Ben's car after Harry briefly introduced both of you.

"How is mum," Harry spoke, sniffing lightly.

"She's been crying non-stop, H, I'm worried about Anne.."

After reaching the hospital, Harry quickly rushed to the floor where his sister was.

He saw his mum, Michal and his grandma waiting in the visitor lounge.

"Harry," his mum quickly got up from his seat and rushed towards her youngest child.

"Mum, it's gonna be okay, alright? Gem's so strong, she will wake up," Harry said hopefully, hugging his mum tightly.

"I'm so scared baby," Anne sniffled.

The doctor came out of Gemma's room and Harry walked towards him, desperately asking him, "how is she? When is she gonna wake up?"

"Unfortunately, it was a serious accident, she lost a lot of blood, she also suffered mild brain stroke, we're trying our best." doctor assured him.

"Harry, take a seat dear," his grandma softly called out to him.

Harry walked towards her and kissed her forehead, his grandma spoke again, "and who is this pretty lady here?"

Harry looked at you before saying, "Y/N, please come here."

You walked towards them, seating in the empty seat beside Harry.

Harry took your hand and his other hand was intertwined with his grandma, "Granny, this is Y/N, my bestfriend, and Y/N, this is my beautiful grandmother," he said before placing a kiss on his grandma's knuckles.

"Also his forever love," his grandma said laughing lowly.

Harry chuckled before saying, "that's true!"

"It's so nice to meet you," you kindly replied, "H, you stay with her, I'm gonna go check on your mum, okay?"

Harry nodded slightly smiling.

You walked up to Anne, she was staring into space, a light frown between her eyebrows, that resembled Harry so much.

"Hello, Anne, may I call you that?"

She seemed to break from her stance and looked at you smiling softly, "of course my dear, you must be Y/N? Ben mentioned you were accompanying Harry."

"Yes I am, I'm so sorry this happened, but I know it'll be alright again, Gemma will be back to being healthy again."

"I so hope so my love, I wish we met under different circumstances, Harry talked so much about you, I was hoping to meet you someday, not like this though," she said sadly.

You hugged her. Also you were flattered, Harry talked about you? He probably talks about all his friends, don't be so dramatic, you thought to yourself.

You looked over at Harry, he was hugging Michal.

You looked back at Anne before saying, "did you eat anything?"

You saw her shaking her head no.

"This is not right, you have to come with me right now to the canteen and have something, alright?"

Anne tried to protest but you cut her off, "no excuses, you have to eat, imagine how bad Gemma will feel if she wakes up and hears you starved yourself."

"You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?"

"Nah-uh," you replied, she chuckled before agreeing with you.

"Hey Harry?" You called out to him, he approached you both, smiling at how you and his mum were hugging each other.

"Yes?"

"I'm gonna take Anne to the canteen, she hasn't ate anything!"

"Mum, that's not right, go eat something, and don't worry we will be here," Harry said.

"Harry, mate you had a long flight, you also go with them and have coffee or something," Michal said.

"But-"

"Yeah go, we will be here, don't worry," Ben assured him.

"Okay then, grandma, will you join us?"

"No dear, you guys go, I'll be here."

"Let's go."

****************************************************

You spotted an empty table and made your way towards it.

You asked Anne what would she like to have, "just coffee and a sandwich will be fine."

"and H, you?"

"Y/N, you sit, I'll bring the food," Harry said.

"No, shut up, you sit here, I got this."

He started to protest again but you sprinted away before saying, "no need, I know what you'll order anyway."

Harry shook his head chuckling.

"Harry, she's wonderful," Anne gushed.

"She is," he agreed.

You brought the tray of food over and passed on to Anne and Harry before taking your coffee cup.

"Thank you dear," Anne smiled at you.

"You're most welcome," you replied smiling.

After eating quickly, you three returned to Gemma's floor.

You saw, Michal talking with the doctor. Seeing his demeanor it seemed stressful.

The doctor returned back to the room, Michal approached you guys before saying, "they're saying she might lose her memories as well," Michal had tears welled up his eyes.

Anne hugged him, Harry slumped before taking a deep breath.

You looked over around the room and your heart broke seeing all of them at this state.

Soon enough it was getting late and Anne suggested you and Harry take his grandma and go back to Harry's childhood home.

You both agreed and once you arrived at his place, you quickly settled the grandma at her room. Then Harry showed you your guestroom. He told you several times to make yourself at home and feel free to grab snacks or beverages from the kitchen whenever you want.

After taking a quick shower, you came downstairs to drink some tea, in the kitchen you saw Harry staring off at space, the kettle's sound confirmed he was making tea.

"Hey H," you said softly, going up to him and putting your head on his shoulder.

"Hi," he replied, "you want some tea?"

"Yes please," you answered.

He quickly made you both cups of tea, he went on to sit beside you.

"She's going to be fine, right?" he asked quietly.

"H, yes, I fully believe she will be fine, it might take some time, but she will be healthy again."

"I-i can't lose her," he sniffled.

"H, hey look at me," you cupped his face to make him look at you.

The low light in the kitchen made his emerald eyes so stunning, but the sadness made you want to hug him and protect him.

You got lost in his eyes, he was so beautiful, so ethereal.

"Y/N?" He spoke, breaking you from your stance.

"Sorry, yeah listen to me mister, your sister will fight and will be back to us real soon, I can't wait to meet her and together we can bully you," you smirked.

Harry chuckled, "yeah you both will get along well."

"Hmm," you slowly let go of his face and started sipping your tea.

You felt so strongly about him and it pained you that you couldn't do anything, he has a girlfriend afterall.

You sighed and told him you're going back to your room.

*************************************************

Ben chuckled at the tour incident that you were telling him.

"That's really funny though," Ben said sipping his coffee.

"Just one of the many stories," you chuckled shrugging.

You guys were at the hospital, just you, Harry and Ben. Anne and Michal went back home to get some rest and freshen up.

The doctor came out of Gemma's room and he looked hopeful, Harry sprinted towards him and the doctor informed him, Gemma is showing a lot of progress, it was a miracle.

You all sighed in relief.

"I'm gonna call mum," Harry said smiling.

Ben looked over to you and asked, "now since the tour is over, I'm guessing so is your internship?"

"Yeah, I wish it lasted forever though, it didn't feel like work."

"Yeah I bet, Harry is a really chill guy," he said.

"He is!"

"Would you be interested working in London? My brother works at a fashion company, I can hook you there?"

"That sounds wonderful, well if it works out then why not?!"

"Great! I'll tell him 'bout you then."

Harry comes back and sees you both chuckling, you both were getting in his nerve, he wished only you and him were here not Ben. You're his bestfriend, he won't let Ben steal you.

"Ben, if you want you can go back home to rest," Harry said politely.

"Nah man, it's okay, beside I got great company." He smiled looking at you.

You shyly smiled back.

Harry felt his blood boil. He saw how well you and Ben got along and it made him upset. He opened his phone and saw Camille's text, she asked about Gemma's condition and Harry started typing a reply.

***************************************************

After few weeks Gemma recovered well. She fortunately didn't lose her memory as doctors feared so now she's in her recovery phase.

In these few weeks Harry rescheduled the tour dates, so your internship will drag on two more months. You also bonded well with Ben. Harry showed you his favourite places in his hometown. Overall it felt nice.

Currently you all were sitting in Gemma's room at Anne's place. You sat beside Ben in the sofa while Gemma sat on her bed, head relaxing on the bed's headboard. Anne was feeding her fruits and Harry sat beside her. Laughter filled the room while you all were talking. You and Gemma got along well, and you were staying in Anne's guestroom, you wanted to book a hotel but ofcourse Harry and Anne didn't let you.

Ben joked about something and Harry rolled his eyes. Harry was pissed nowadays with Ben. Especially seeing you and Ben bonding was something he despised. Normally he wants his loved ones and friends to get along but this one didn't feel right. He was more annoyed with how close you and Ben sat, like personal space please?

"Hey Harry, let's talk?" You asked him.

"Yeah sure," he said getting up from bed and following behind you in the living room.

"What's up?" Harry asked.

"I think I'll catch a flight tomorrow to Paris, Lambert wants me to go over some designs." You said.

"What? No you're going with me, I'll leave in 3 days," Harry protested.

"That's too long! I don't think Lambert will agree, I did some work online, but I have to be present there," you said.

"Okay then I'm coming with you," he decided.

"What? No, you stay here with your family."

"It's fine, I need to go anyway for the show," he shrugged.

"No, stay!"

"I can't leave you alone, you accompanied me, so I need to make sure to be on the same flight as you." He stubbornly said.

Ben interrupted coming into the living room, "I can accompany you Yn."

"You guys need to chill, I can travel alone, been doing it all along" you chuckled at the two men.

"No Yn, it's fine. I was planning a trip anyway," Ben said, "I'll be happy to accompany you, it'll be fun."

"Okay if you insist," you sighed but happily agreed.

Harry was shocked, that easy for Ben?

Later that night when you're packing in you room, Harry entered with two cups of tea.

"Hey," you smiled at him.

"Hi sweets," he smiled back handing you a cup.

"Ah thank you, I needed this," you smiled gratefully.

"So, done packing?"

"Yeah almost."

You sat on your bed, sipping the tea Harry had brought, trying to avoid the tension that hung in the air like a heavy storm cloud. You could feel his eyes on you, the silence thick between you two as the room felt smaller by the second. You’d been avoiding this conversation for days now, but it was inevitable. You knew it, he knew it.

"So, you and Ben, huh?" Harry finally asked, his voice laced with a quiet anger you couldn’t quite place.

You froze mid-sip, setting the cup down slowly on your nightstand. You couldn’t ignore the tightness in your chest, the nervous flutter in your stomach. "What about us?" you asked, looking up at him cautiously. His eyes were already on you, the familiar warmth in them now replaced by something darker.

He shrugged but there was no mistaking the edge in his tone. "I just don’t get it. You two seem… really close lately. It’s just weird."

You tried to laugh it off, but it came out forced. "Harry, we’re just friends, alright? He’s your cousin, for god's sake."

Harry clenched his jaw, stepping further into the room, his eyes never leaving you. "Yeah, well, that’s the problem, isn’t it? He’s always around. And you two are—" He gestured vaguely in the air, clearly frustrated, the words stuck on his tongue.

You raised an eyebrow, irritation creeping in. "What, Harry? You don't want me to get along with your cousin now? What’s the issue?"

He paced a few steps in the small room, running a hand through his hair. "You don’t get it. It’s not just that. It’s how much time you’re spending together. You know, like the way you guys sit so close, how you’re always laughing at each other's stupid jokes—" He stopped and turned to face you. "And then you just let him walk in here and offer to travel with you like it’s no big deal. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

Your heart began to race. Was this really about Ben? Or was there something else?

You stood up, the anger bubbling in your chest now too, your voice rising. "I don’t need you to make decisions for me, Harry. I’m not a child. I don’t need you to dictate who I spend time with. Ben’s a good guy, and I’m fine with him being there for me. If I want him there. You’re the one acting like I’m doing something wrong."

Harry’s eyes flashed with frustration, and you could see the hurt in them too. He shook his head, taking a few steps closer, his voice quieter now but still heavy with emotion. "I’m not trying to control you, Yn. I just—I don’t like seeing you so close to him. Don’t you get it? It’s just… it doesn’t sit right with me."

A pit opened up in your stomach, the words you had been holding back for so long suddenly spilling out before you could stop them. "You’re jealous, Harry," you said, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. "You’re jealous because you think something’s going on between me and Ben, when really, it’s just… friendship."

He flinched like you’d slapped him, his face falling. "I’m not jealous. I just care about you. You’re my best friend. You think I don’t want you to be happy? But this whole situation is making me crazy, Yn. And I don’t know how to deal with it."

You stared at him, the hurt and anger mixing in your chest, twisting into something almost unbearable. You didn’t know how to make him understand without sacrificing a part of yourself. "Harry," you said, trying to keep your voice steady, "I am happy. But you need to get over the fact that I’m allowed to be happy with other people too. You’re with Camille. You’re dating her. Why are you so bent out of shape about me and Ben?"

He stepped back, his face going pale. "This is about more than Ben," Harry muttered, his voice breaking slightly. "It’s about you and me, Yn. I’m not ready to lose you. And I don’t think I can just watch you go on without me, like it’s nothing. It hurts."

The words hit you like a punch to the gut. You stared at him, lost. "You think I’m just going to forget about you? Is that what you think? Because you’re dating Camille, you think I’m supposed to just—"

"That’s not what I mean!" Harry cut you off, his frustration boiling over. "I just don’t want you to think that I’m fine with you replacing me with someone else. With Ben." His voice cracked at the end, the emotion raw and unfiltered.

The silence that followed was thick and suffocating. You both stood there, words stuck in your throats, unable to bridge the gap that had suddenly opened between you. You felt the tears welling up in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. This wasn’t about tears. This was about trust. About needing space and respect for each other’s choices.

"You know what, Harry?" you said, your voice shaking slightly, "I need to go. I need to get away from this for a while." You grabbed your bag from the floor, stuffing it with the last of your things, barely able to keep yourself together. "I can’t stay here and keep dealing with this. I’m going to Paris tomorrow, and I don’t need to be reminded of what’s wrong here every second."

"Yn, please," Harry’s voice was strained, desperate almost, as he stepped toward you. "Don’t do this. I don’t want to lose you."

You shook your head, not trusting your own voice. "You are losing me, Harry," you whispered, fighting back the tears. "But not the way you think."

You walked past him, the door of the room open, your heart aching as you turned back to look at him one last time. His face was a mixture of confusion and pain, but you couldn’t fix it. Not right now.

Without another word, you stepped out of the room and left the house.

And as you made your way to the car, the air felt colder, the distance between you both unbridgeable for the first time.

----------------------------------

Taglist: @ever-since-the-kilt @pxrrishly @jld20047 @thecraziestcrayon @emma1998sblog @lovrrysworld-ally @jackiehollanderr @sassamanda77

[buckets-of-dirt]

I need to be periodically reminded to not read the other reviews on any website that allows users to write their own reviews (I use storygraph now because it's independent, but since the site allows you to upload your old Goodreads data people's ancient reviews are there too sometimes and it Shows) because while yes sometimes people have valid critiques of a book that you didn't think of, sometimes they're just wrong and there's no point in subjecting yourself to ultimately meaningless things that will make yourself mad

[fangirl-dot-com]

🧡❤️Dating Your Enemy's Sibling

*part of the reverse trope series*

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Verstappen!Reader Genre: Fluff/Humor/SMAU Summary: How to get under your enemy/rival's skin? Charles answer was to start dating his younger sister. But now, he's glad he found love along the way. He only had to tell Max about the relationship when you won a race. That's won't be any time soon though . . . right?

*in honor of Lando's first win - here's this next installment of Reverse Tropes! I know that Max and Charles really aren't enemies. Maybe I should have done like a Pierre and Esteban thing, but I don't write for them. So here we go and please enjoy!*

TAG LIST IS CLOSED

Charles Leclerc and Max Verstappen. 

Predestined rivals, written in the stars, invisible string, yada-yada-yada. 

Putting it simply, Charles had an apt for pissing Max off and vice-versa. The world thought they would kill each other in karting, especially after the 2012 incident. The population sighed in relief when Max was taken from F3 and put in a Formula 1 car, while Charles took a bit longer. 

And then Charles made it to Formula 1 in 2018. However, he was put in a HAAS, a car that was not really made to play with the other cars in the front of the pack. The earth was saved yet another year. 

Well, until 2019 when Charles suddenly became the “It Boy” for the Prancing Horse. Meaning, that he could finally go back to terrorizing the grid and Max. But with terrorizing the grid came loads of trouble and hatred. 

And more pissing off your rival. 

Charles seethed on the podium as he listened to the Dutch national anthem and watched Max point to the stupid “H” on his race suit. He held in a scoff. At least the Ferrari logo was much better looking than that. 

It wasn’t fair. He had the racing line and Max pushed him off. If his mind wandered, it would go back to a certain kart race back in 2012 where he pulled the same move. But that didn’t count because the race has already finished. Charles would have rather been disqualified instead of having to go through the torture of being up on the podium in second. 

First loser as they call it. 

The Monegasque driver held no happiness in his body as Max started spraying his winner’s champagne. Charles just picked up his bottle and drank it. 

Still wasn’t as sweet as victory champagne would be. 

He deliberately separated himself from Max as they stood for a picture. The visible gap made it much more hilarious for everyone around them. 

When the festivities finished, he hightailed it out of there, just wanting to avoid the Dutchman presence. Charles sighed loudly as he walked back to the garage, definitely not in the mood to talk to anyone. 

“Charlie!

The Monegasque stopped in his tracks, annoyance almost wracking his entire being. Can people just let him wallow in defeat? He straightened his shoulders and turned around, PR smile plastered on his face. However, the very fake smile turned into a real one when he noticed that you were almost jogging to catch up with him. 

Y/n Verstappen. 

You had always been a part of his childhood. Where Max was, you were one step behind him, following him in your small racing overalls. He remembered how little you always seemed compared to your brother. But size didn’t matter on the karting course. 

Most of the time, the two boys found themselves trying to shake you off and others were behind your kart, picking up the dirt that you sent their way. And that’s why Charles put your name down as recommendations for his Prema seat after he won the championship in 2017. Because of him, you were able to graduate to Formula 2 and were on the track to make a debut in Formula 1 in the coming years. 

“Hey Y/n,” Charles said softly, still not in the mood to really talk to anyone. But for you, he’d always make an exception. And he was supposed to fly back with you and Max, something he was still dreading. 

You look at the Monegasque with sympathy. Charles wasn’t able to find any type of pity in your blue eyes (that matched Max’s). 

Your brows furrowed as to talked to him. “What Max did wasn’t the right way to race. But Formula 1 is getting more and more competitive.” 

The man, er boy, wanted to huff. He did not need this conversation from you. He almost turned around, but the next few sentences stopped him from making any motions. 

“Charlie, you’ve always found ways to beat him. If he wants to play like this, then you just have to give him a taste of his medicine, get under his skin. Do what you always do and somehow get around him.” 

He cocked his head, before his eyes lit up. 

Get under his skin.

You watched as Charles’s eyes filled up with some light, making the green in them really shine. You could almost see ideas concocting in his head.

Charles went to say something, but was interrupted by his team principle. He swerved to respond before he turned back to you. There was a glint in his eyes that you really couldn’t put a finger on. 

His took a deep breath before asking, “Do you want to maybe get dinner with me?” 

Your eyes widened. Sure, the Monegasque was very attractive, but those were not the words that you were expecting to come out of his mouth. 

Oh. 

Now you got it. 

Your facial expressions melted a bit, eyes pointed toward the ground as you kicked at it. Your arms crossed as you huffed. 

“Using me for gain over my brother wasn’t what I was meaning Charles. I was thinking more like unfollow him on social media while we’re on the plane or something.” 

The harsh “Ch” that began his name had him wincing. Like your brother, you had a small lisp which normally softened the two consonants to the point where his name sounded like it was supposed to be. And what was “Charles?” You rarely ever called him that, choosing to pick the more boyish nickname. 

Although, your idea about Instagram wasn’t a bad one. 

Charles looked a bit guilty as he scratched the back of his head. He honestly was endeared by you and your determination to never give up. He found you, well, cute. You were still 19, younger than him by a bit more than three years. 

But if you were cute back in 2012 hanging on to Max’s wet overalls after the puddle, and you were cute now trying to console him instead of celebrating your brother’s victory, you would still be cute in the following years. 

He sighed, knowing that he had to leave soon or he was going to get an earful from Sebastian for being late to yet another meeting. The Ferrari driver stepped forward a bit, getting closer to you. He looked down at his helmet before looking back to your eyes. 

“When I win and when I beat your brother, then can I take you out to dinner?” 

You mulled over the question in your head. 

If he beat Max before you went out with him, then that meant that he was actually genuine and wasn’t using it to his gain. You also smirked, knowing that indeed it would piss Max off whenever he found out. Your position as an annoying younger sister would still be intact and possibly stronger. 

You held out your hand, which Charles took in an instant. 

“Deal Leclerc.” 

“Deal Verstappen.” 

When Charles took the top step in Spa, pride filled his chest when he noticed Max’s glare at him. He had beaten the Dutchman at his home race. Albeit, it was a DNF for Max, but a win either way.  He swayed back and forth as his national anthem played and then sang quietly along with the Italian anthem. Deep in his heart, he knew the true weight of the win. 

For Anthoine. 

He knew somewhere he made his French friend proud. Just like Jules. And Just like Papa.

Charles watched down below as you looked like you could hardly keep a smirk off your face. And it was bad too as you stood next to Max, who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there below Charles. 

The Monegasque raised his eyebrows when you locked eyes. You just hoped that Max wouldn’t catch on that he was staring right at you. Thankfully, you were right next to a Ferrari manager, so Max could guess that Charles was looking at him. 

When the winner finally got ready, you were waiting outside his garage. 

“Hi,” you whispered, putting your phone away. Charles didn’t verbally respond, but he wrapped his arms around you. You melted in his arms, still smelling a bit of the champagne in his hair. 

He looked down at you. 

“Are you ready for dinner?” 

Your eyes held a playful glint. “I hope you chose a good restaurant Leclerc.” 

He scoffed, keeping his arm around your shoulders as the two of you turned to leave. “Only the best Verstappen.” 

The dinner went really well, but you weren’t expecting it to be a continual thing. 

And then Charles won in Monza the next week, and he once again asked you to dinner. And once again, the Monegasque set expectations higher than you every imagined. You were saddened when Charles wasn’t able to win any more races while your brother seemed to get better and better each race. 

You could only giggle while you watched them still avoid each other in Singapore. 

But, the dinners turned into texting, and texting turned to other dates, and dates turned into dating, and dating turned into a relationship, and the relationship turned into an almost five year commitment that you or Charles weren’t planning to end soon. 

The relationship saw your brother become a world champion in 2021, Charles becoming a world champion in 2022, and you joining the grid as a rookie for McLaren after a disastrous attempt for an Alpine seat.

Charles had been furious and Max had almost found out about the relationship. The two of you were still scared that Max might hold some coldness for the past. But when he called Charles “Charlie,” the special nickname that you had for him, you thought that it might be a good idea to tell him. 

“But mon ange, he will run me off the track if he finds out,” Charles whined into your stomach as you played with his hair before the Miami Grand Prix. 

You rolled your eyes and tugged at the strands. “No he won’t. You have to worry about your teammate doing that to you instead.” 

Another whine left Charles making you giggle. 

“At least you’re starting on the front row. I have to start P5! Oscar has been making fun of me all weekend.” 

The Aussie had been such a God send for you during your rookie season. The elder by a few months had taken you under his wing. The two of you had been so close to a win last year, and with the upgrades this weekend, you were sure that you or him would start on the front row. 

And then you had to be hit during the sprint, which didn’t help the mechanics in the hours before the race quali. That in turn made your car feel weird and P5 was the best you could do. Maybe Charles was secretly transferring his unluckiness into you. 

The Monegasque turned his head to look you in the eyes. You smiled as you leaned down to kiss the top of his head. 

“We’ll tell him when I win a race. How about that?” 

Charles knew that you were just unlucky as he was when it came to winning a race. Last year,  you had been close in Spa, but a rouge rainstorm saw you spinning out on the second to last lap. Austin you had pole, but Max fought you on into turn one, making you go wide. You never saw your brother after the first lap as you fell down the grid. Charles held you each night as you cried. 

The red-clad-driver sat up and held your head in his hands. “You’ll win soon enough. Maybe not this weekend because I don’t have any time to prepare.” 

You laughed and just brought him in to a kiss. There was literally no way you could win this weekend. Beating Max Verstappen with pole from P5 on a track that he had a 100% win rate at? 

Impossible.

Charles thought he was going to cry as he crossed the line in P3. From you winning or having to tell your bother that he defiled his baby sister, he didn’t know. 

What he did know was that he was going to get out of his car and congratulate you immediately. What were the odds that you won on the anniversary of the stupid inchident, the first time that Charles had ever seen you with Max. 

(And yes, he did remember the anniversary but didn’t want to bring it up.) 

You, however, were frozen in your car. You took some deep breaths as you took the steering wheel off, stood up a bit, bent to put it back on, and straightened, holding your pointer finger up. Your fists clenched as you raised them, automatically hearing the crowds roar when you waved. 

A tug on your sleeve brought you down into Max’s arms. You were a bit disappointed that it wasn’t Charles, but that would be too obvious. 

“YOU DID IT!” Max yelled in your ear, well, your helmet as you hadn’t taken the neon thing off yet. 

You really didn’t want people to see the tear stains on your face. But right now, you’d just stay in the protection of your brother’s arms. When he let go of you, he lifted your visor, twin eyes meeting yours. 

“You did such an amaz-”

“I’m dating Charles.” 

Blink. 

Blink. 

Blink. 

You took the moment of a frozen Max to turn to your team. You looked over your shoulder to see that the Dutchman was still stuck in his place as you got farther and farther away. You grimaced, knowing what was to come if Max and Charles met at any time when you weren’t there. 

An arm around your shoulders brought you out of your head. The light blue caught your eyes, signaling that it was Charles. He patted your shoulders, trying to stay as inconspicuous as possible. You did feel a bit of pressure move your helmet, so he must have quickly smushed his face into the black swirls. A helmet kiss if you would guess. 

You wanted to turn around to warn him of the imminent danger that was waiting for him in the form of Max Verstappen, but you were led away before you could. 

Your fears immediately went away though when your eyes finally landed on your team. Helmet thrown to the ground, you made the decision to throw yourself at them as well. Your laughs could be heard as your mechanics lifted you higher as everyone seemed to want to congratulate you for their first win since Monza 2021, which you weren’t even on the team then. 

When Charles stepped into the cooldown room, he could feel the awkwardness. It also didn’t help that Max was glaring at him from the corner. Charles was a bit worried. He thought that Max was fine with him now after they had both sort of mended their weird friendship during 2023. 

He turned to you as you walked in, all sweaty. 

Charles still thought you looked very pretty. 

“Eyes off Leclerc.” 

Charles froze in his place and looked between the siblings. He looked at you, then Max, then you, and then Max again. You winced, not looking him in the eyes. Realization flooded his body and he thought for a moment he was going to pass out.  

“Mon Dieu.” 

“We will be talking after this,” Max pointed, drinking from his water bottle, not taking his eyes off Charles. 

When you were called to the little Jeeps, you quickly got into the bright pink Barbie-esque looking one, still buzzing from your win. Even if the two men behind you had put a damper on it. 

Charles’s eyes only fixed on one of the cars, not even seeing the third one behind the second. He climbed right in, eyes closed as he sat down. However, his eyes shot open when the car tilted and a thigh was touching his. He gulped rather loudly, refusing to look to his right. 

This was Vegas all over again. 

Max kept his voice low. “When did it start?” 

“2019. After Austria.” 

“Why?” 

“I wanted to get to know her more.” 

“What was the reason Charles?” 

The Monegasque sighed as he ran his hand over his face. “I was angry at you and wanted to get back at you somehow.” 

He knew he was about to be punched on live television, but he continued hoping for redemption. 

“But, I knew that was wrong. We didn’t even go out until Spa. And then again in Monza. And then it just happened.” 

He turned to look directly at Max, knowing that he only had a few more moments before they had to go out onto the podium. 

“Max I love your sister. I have the ring and everything. We’ve been happy for 5 years and have made it work. Please, she’s really all the good I have left. I would throw everything away for her. And-”

Max’s laughs stopped him from continuing. The Dutchman slapped a hand on Charles’s thigh, making him wince a bit. 

The Red Bull driver’s eyes were crinkled with a smile as they pulled up to the parking spot. 

“Just keep her happy, or I will run you off the track.” 

“Y/n! I told you he’d threaten me!” 

“Max!” 

“Oh come on I did not!” 

y/nverstappen4 has posted

y/nverstappen4 WE DID IT! P1 BABAYYYYYYY 🏆

nothing beats a podium with me on the top step surrounded by my boys ���🧡❤️

liked by mclaren, team_quadrant, charles_leclerc, and 2,903,940 others

queeny/n LETS ACTUALLY GOOOOOOOOO

mclaren that's our girl 🧡 well deserved

lecstappenshipper this is basically a hard launch

y/nhaswins such a beautiful race y/n!!!!

charles_leclerc so so proud of you mon ange 🧡❤️ *liked by y/nverstappen4*

charles_leclerc celebrations tonight? 😈

y/nverstappen4 but of course

maxverstappen1 I know where you sleep leclerc 🙂

y/nverstappen4 DRINKS ON MAX TONIGHT

oscarpiastri YEAAHHHHHHH 🍾

maxverstappen1 what?

charles_leclerc thank you max ☺️

maxverstappen1 I NEVER AGREED TO THIS

oscarpiastri mega job mate 👊

y/nverstappen4 ossieeeeeee 👊 don't worry, you'll be up there soon! just gotta wrap your car in bubble wrap to protect it from evil ferrari 😠😤

charles_leclerc ☹️

y/nverstappen4 NOT YOU CHARLIE - THE OTHER ONE (LEWIS HURRY UP)

lewishamilton you don't think I'm trying 🤨

mcy/n she's so funny what the heck?? 😂

chefy/n we said - LET HER COOK

TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @myxticmoon @cherry-piee @blueberry64857959 @glitterquadricorn @lizzypiastri @sam-is-lost @spilled-coffee-cup @ilove-tswizzle @the-untamed-soul @allenajade-ite @starssfall @torchbearerkyle @judespoision @halfdeadsage @juniper-july19 @severewobblerlightdragon @thatgirlmj @gods-menace @ineedafictionalman @namgification @dark-night-sky-99 @samantha-chicago @2pagenumb @treehouse-mouse @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @kagatinkita @itsjustkhaos @nikfigueiredo @awekbachira @vellicora @skepvids @sunrizef1 @stan-josie @fanficweasley @hiireadstuff @barcelonaloverf1life @c-losur3 @graciewrote @bruhhhhhhhhehhhhhhh @tallrock35 @ashy-kit @kat-s2 @minkyungseokie @lozzamez3 @leslieis-crying @adventuresofrose @lighttsoutlewis

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

The Rolling Stones - Paint It Black 1966

"Paint It Black" is a song by the English rockband the Rolling Stones. A product of the songwriting partnership of Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, it is a raga rock song with Indian, Middle Eastern and Eastern European influences and lyrics about grief and loss. Two months after it being released as a non-album single, London Records included it as the opening track on the American version of the band's 1966 studio album Aftermath, though it is not on the original UK release.

Originating from a series of improvisational melodies played by Brian Jones on the sitar, the song features all five members of the band contributing to the final arrangement although only Jagger and Richards were credited as songwriters. In contrast to previous Rolling Stones singles with straightforward rock arrangements, "Paint It Black" has unconventional instrumentation, including a prominent sitar, the Hammond organ and castanets. The song was influential to the burgeoning psychedelic genre as the first chart-topping single to feature the sitar, and widened the instrument's audience.

"Paint It Black" was a major chart success for the Rolling Stones, remaining 11 weeks (including two at number one) on the US Billboard Hot 100, and 10 weeks (including one atop the chart) on the Record Retailer chart in the UK. Upon a reissue in 2007, it reentered the UK Singles Chart for 11 weeks. It was the band's third number-one single in the US and sixth in the UK. The song also topped charts in Canada and the Netherlands.

"Paint It Black" was inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame in 2018. In 2011, the song was added to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame's list of "The Songs that Shaped Rock and Roll". It has seen commercial use in film, video games and other entertainment media, such as Full Metal Jacket (1987), The Devil's Advocate (1997), Wednesday (2022), as well as being used as a plot device in the supernatural horror film Stir of Echoes (1999).

"Paint It Black" received a total of 92,8% yes votes!

[effemar]

Sorry for talking about Cornelius Hickey from hit series AMC’s The Terror (2018) again but I think it’s really overlooked how Hickey serves an additional narrative purpose in his existence as a metatextual threat.

Hickey in many ways is there to be an ideological contrast to the “good” characters in the show in a way that’s really interesting. All through the series there’s this conflict between morality and survival, or as Hickey puts it, “your morals and your practicals.” Assisted suicide, survival cannibalism, et cetera. But the point is, Hickey has already resolved that internal conflict. For a lot of the other characters, this is perhaps the first time they’ve been in a genuine survival situation, where they’ve had to confront what they’re willing to sacrifice for the sake of survival. But Hickey has already been there. From before they even set sail, the stakes have been life and death. He was willing to kill someone to be on this boat. Everything else is small potatoes. As he says to Billy in one of his first crucial scenes, “there are worse things than being lashed.”

Hickey is, in many ways, perfectly suited to the landscape they find themselves in. Other characters want to get back to England. Hickey wanted to get away from England. The principles that other people hold, relics from their homeland, are what Hickey was trying to escape. And he makes a point of calling these principles into question. What’s the difference, really, between a dog and any other creature you kill for food? What makes a lieutenant better than a caulker’s mate? It’s all in your head.

And it’s not just that he resents them, though he does. He actively thinks they’re dumb! He sees principles as a weakness in other people. It’s why he’s surprised when Mr. Goodsir sees through his attempt to gather information about Silna. He thinks ‘generous’ is a synonym for ‘stupid’. It’s why he’s amused when Irving recommends watercolors, when Billy tells him he’s going to be better and not have sex with him anymore. It’s silly to him.

And to some degree he's right. We, as a modern audience, snort when Irving tells Hickey he should stop being gay and do “climbing exercises” instead. The things that seem so morally relevant and important to them are completely arbitrary. The thing is, Hickey sees killing people the same way. Why is it okay to kill people in some circumstances and not others? Tozer shot Morfin, and it was okay then! Why is it only bad when he does it? When he’s about to be hanged, and Crozier makes a point to say he caused the deaths of women and children, and an officer, Hickey ROLLS HIS EYES. Because it doesn’t make a difference to him.

And this concept is emphasized very clearly by the plot, not just Hickey. When Hickey kidnaps Silna, we as an audience know Crozier was about to do essentially the same thing. “Bring her in for questioning” is politer than “kidnap”, but it’s not like it makes a difference to her. It’s just the principle of the thing.

To be clear, I don't think this makes Hickey himself secretly right or anything. Because despite what he tells himself, he does have morals. He isn't the free, enlightened being he thinks he is, who has shrugged off the burden of England's social mores. He carries those ideas with him. He does the same thing, fundamentally, as the people he derides. The English idea of the Arctic as a place to be explored and conquered, a tabula rasa where he can start anew, free of rules and morals, is an inaccurate one. It has consequences the same as any other place, and is subject to principles, even if they're not ones he recognizes. He completely disregards the Netsilik people as a source of help not only for his own selfish reasons, but because I think he truly subscribes to the English belief in their "savagery".

He has taken an idea and mistaken it for the truth. And that belief in his own lack of blind spots, the belief that he alone is able to see the world as it really is, is ultimately his downfall. It doesn't occur to him that the Tuunbaq is anything but a sophisticated tool, let alone something that has rules and principles beyond his comprehension. It doesn't occur to him that there might be consequences for his actions beyond the immediate. It doesn't occur to him that Mr. Goodsir would choose his principles over his own life, would choose to do something that has an impact beyond himself. For Hickey, those things are unimaginable.

Anyway character of all time. Monster that eats souls, rat king extraordinaire, guy with delusions of godhood, living manifestation of hubris. Cornelius Hickey you will ALWAYS be famous.

[scarletlizzard]

Part 1: Get Help

Sessions Series

Pairing: psychiatrist Wanda x female reader

Tags Minors DNI: being stalked, paranoia, therapy, mentions of sex

Masterlist

Fall 2018

It was the same thing every day.

You wake up, make breakfast, and go for a run. You go to work, a normal 9-5 job downtown. After work, you would wind down by making dinner and sometimes taking a bath with a glass of wine. You go to bed around the same time every night, letting the sounds of I Love Lucy lull you to sleep.

Your routine was all but normal, though. You had a shadow.

Your daily jog was filled with turning your head, constantly aware of a presence behind you, one that you could never see. You thought it was over until one night when you were making dinner, you happened to look out the window and saw a person standing across the street. The glass of wine you were holding dropped from your hand onto the floor beneath your feet. You step back onto the glass and wince, tearing your eyes from the shapeless figure.

When you look up again, they've disappeared.

This happened for weeks until you finally gave in and told your friend one night over a bottle of wine.

"Look, this is them. They're back," you say, handing the phone to Natasha. She raises an eyebrow and looks at the blurry picture on the screen. Practically a black dot next to the bus stop a few houses down from yours.

"But why would they wait so long? It's been over a year, and.." she squints, staring at the picture. "That kind of just looks like a blob.." the woman says and sips her wine, a concerned look on her face at your frantic state.

"It's not. It's them! I-I swear I'm being followed, being watched... every where I go, it's like, I can feel them. The police won't do anything about it." You move your shaking hand away from her to gulp down the rest of your wine.

"Look, Y/N.." Natasha sighs and sets down her glass, turning her body to face yours. "I know you've been through a lot, everything that.. happened last summer. I think - maybe you should.. get some help." She tries to soften the blow of calling you crazy by resting a hand on your thigh. You only look to her with betrayed eyes.

"I'm not crazy," you speak calmly, your tone stern, but the crack in your voice only solidifies Natashas' point.

"I don't think you are, Y/N. Here.." She grabs her purse, pulling out a business card from it casually, as if she just happened to have it. You knew her better than that. "This is my friend. She's an amazing psychiatrist. Just talk to her, give it a chance."

You snatch the card away from her hands, not making eye contact with her. Natasha sighs again and stands, watching your leg bounce harder. She leans down to kiss your forehead.

"I'll call you tomorrow. I love you.." She trails off, unsure if you'd even reply.

"Love you." You mumble, pouring yourself another glass.

After she leaves, you stare at the business card in your hand, eyes settled on the name in bold lettering. You crumple the card, ball it up in your hand, and throw it across the room. It bounces off the wall with a small 'thunk'. Then you're left sitting, recalling the events of last summer.

***

Summer 2017

It was an exceptionally hot night. The air conditioner had been broke all day, leaving you sweating and fanning yourself with a magazine. Also leaving you with no choice but to leave the windows open, letting a cooler breeze flow through your quiet house.

You shot a quick text to Natasha- See you tomorrow, meet at the coffee shop near yours.

With a sigh, you rest your head on the back of the couch, listening to the voices on the TV. You get a strange feeling suddenly, your whole body covered in goosebumps, the small hairs on your arms standing straight up. You slowly open your eyes, staring straight ahead at the characters running around the screen.

"Get a grip, Y/N.." You mumble to yourself, patting your cheeks as if to wake yourself up. Maybe you just needed some sleep. Your anxiety seemed to be kicking up again. Your hands reach for the remote on the table in front of you, and you press the power button, turning the TV off.

It's then you see, in the black screen, reflecting an image not only of you but a person standing directly behind you.

***

Current Fall 2018

No, I'm NOT doing this right now.

You think to yourself, swallowing down your third glass of wine for the night. Instead, you get up to double -no, triple- check all of the locks in your house. The windows to the backyard, locked. The sliding glass backdoor, locked. The windows to the front of the house, locked. The front door, locked. The side door leading to the garage, locked. Windows in any bedrooms, locked. Your bedroom door and window, locked.

It was exhausting, but it was a routine you had been following for the past year. It kept you safe. You turn on I Love Lucy, drifting off into another nightmare with your mysterious shadow.

The morning after, you awake to your alarm and slap your hand on your loud phone to slide it off. You lay there for a moment, staring at the ceiling. The morning sun shines brightly in the room, the light warm on your skin.

I am NOT crazy...

You repeat to yourself over and over, a mantra easily spoken and believed in your mind. Breakfast was made and eaten, running shoes tied to your feet, laces double knotted, ID and cash in case of emergencies, and headphones settle snug in your ears. The first mile was fine, humming along to your music, and enjoying the cold fall. It was when you were heading back towards your house that you began to have that unsettling feeling.

Your panicked eyes look around as you jog, your head constantly turning from side to side as you look for your shadow. You find yourself reaching into your pocket, letting your hand grab onto the pepper spray you had brought with you. Only a little ways to go. It's fine.

Your pace sped up, but your shadow was creeping up closer to you. Your heart was racing. Sweat was dripping down your forehead. With your thumb gripping the spray, you suddenly turn around, spraying the shadow behind you.

"Ahhh! What the fuck!" A man screams, falling to his knees in front of you. Your heart was beating out of your chest at the sight of him, rubbing his eyes and screaming in pain. But on the sidewalk in front of him you see your emergency clip that held your cash and ID.

"Jason! Oh my god, what did you do to him?" A woman comes running up to his side, sliding her arm around him. "Are you crazy? You dropped this. He was trying to give it back to you!" She screams at you, throwing the clip in your direction. Dollar bills fly to the ground, and you back up.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't know, I thought he was - I didn't know.." Your voice trails off as you shake your head, hands shaking. "I didn't know.." You repeat it 4 times.

"Y/N, you're lucky he didn't press charges, I can't believe you actually pepper sprayed him.." Natashas voice sounded from the phone in your hand as you recall the events from the morning.

"I know, I can't believe I did either. I feel so fucking bad about it.." you hold your head in your hand, guilt filling your gut.

"It happened. There's nothing you can do about it now. He'll be fine.. people get pepper sprayed all the time," she tries to joke, attempting to lighten the mood.

You sit up and sigh into the phone, looking around the room. The TV playing, the dusty art supplies sitting on a desk in the corner. Your eyes find and focus on the crumpled business card on the floor by the wall. As you stand, your feet carry you over, picking it up.

"I'll talk to you later, Nat," you say, letting her say goodbye before you hang up. Your hands straighten out the card, and you once again read the name in bold lettering.

The clock on the wall read 5:28 as you sat, one day after work, on a chair in the hallway near the front door. You look around the hallway that leads to a massive house. It seemed the front was used for her practice, a room on either side of the hallway. One you assumed an office, the other a room to meet with patients. The clock ticked to 5:29, and your leg began to bounce.

The door on the wall across from you opens, revealing a brown headed woman with a warm smile on her face. She was taller, a creme colored blouse and brown pants settled on her legs. Her familiar green eyes find yours, and you both let out a small, awkward chuckle.

"Y/N.." Wanda says and holds out her hand to you, watching as you stand in front of her.

Your hand reaches for hers, "Wanda.." Her hand is warm and soft in yours. You know you linger too long in her grip. She leads you into room number two, a medium-sized room with one big, comfortable looking chair and an even more comfortable looking couch. Behind her comfy chair was an extravagant looking fireplace. Bookshelves lined the walls, and as you walked inside, your fingers trail the spines of the books that sat on them. It felt comfortable and safe. The sun was beginning to set, and an orange glow filled the room. Wanda sits in a chair, a notepad, and pen in her lap. You follow suit, sitting across from her on the couch.

"So, are you sure you want to do this? I'd be more than happy to recommend you to some other, highly recommended, co-workers of mine?" Wanda says with a smile, and you can't help but blush. She just had that effect on you.

"As long as you're okay with it, I am. I trust you, and right now, I really need that.." You mumble the last part, sitting back into the couch. Wanda nods, understanding of you.

One of the last times you saw Wanda she was in your bed, giving you what still stands today, the best orgasms of your life. Natasha had thrown a Christmas party where you met. You and Wanda came alone. You both had a lot to drink, and one thing led to another. You spent the night talking and laughing, getting to know each other as you came on her fingers. After that, you saw her from time to time, over a couple of months. She let you eat her out on your couch and fucked you against the counter in your kitchen. It was the best sex you'll probably ever have. You felt more alive with her than you had in years.

But then you had to leave town for work, and by the time you came back, the two of you had lost touch. Then, a few months after, during the summer, when your shadow appeared, you cut practically everyone out of your life.

"Well then, let's get started," Wanda interrupts your train of thoughts with a click of her pen, crossing her legs. "I reviewed the file you sent over from your stay at the Bay Point Medical Center. Do you want to talk about that?" She asks, her voice as smooth as honey.

You let out a shaky sigh, playing with the zipper of the bag you held in your lap. "I've always been.. anxious, since I was a kid. Always had these uh, routines. Tie my shoes until they felt right, flick the lights 4 times before bed."

"Were you ever diagnosed or tested as a kid?"

"No, my mom didn't believe in that sort of thing."

"So you were first diagnosed with OCD and Bipolar Disorder at Bay Point." Wanda makes a note. You tap your leg 4 times.

"Yes."

"So what led you to that moment, to that night?" Her voice is so inviting. You would tell her just about anything at this point.

"I'm sure it says in the file.." You clear your throat, suddenly being unable to look her in the eyes.

"There is a version, but I'd like to hear yours." Her eyebrows raise, pen hovering over the paper of the pad.

"It was a few days after I saw my shadow," you start, Wanda has a curious look on her face.

A pause.

"Your shadow?" She asks, you nod.

"The stalker, person watching me." You reply, she nods for you to continue. "I hadn't slept in days. The police didn't believe me. There was no evidence, they said, that anyone besides me had been in the house that night. So I went to the docks, and I-I bought a gun from some junkie. I'm not proud of what I did," you say, meeting her comforting gaze.

"I'm sure. You hadn't slept in days. You were delusional - sleep deprived. No medication, no diagnosis. Under extreme stress. Given the circumstances, I'm glad no one was hurt." Wanda concurs.

"Well, maybe not physically. But when you wave a gun around at 3 in the morning down the street, maybe a little psychological damage to the family that found me," you groan and put your head in your hands.

"The report said you had left a note at your house. What did it say?" Wanda asks, and you think back to when you scribbled on a piece of paper, what you thought would be, your last words. You're quiet for a moment. Wanda can tell you won't answer that question just yet.

"How about, who did you leave it for?" She asks.

"For my shadow."

The rest of the session you had spilled about your feelings that night and talked about you OCD and Bipolar disorder. You told her about your stay at the mental hospital, and told her about your routines. You spoke to her of almost everything.

"I think this session was really productive, Y/N. You've been very open with me, and I appreciate that." Wanda stood at the front door, smiling down to you. It was dark now, the sun at set completely. "I'll see you at the same time, Thursday?"

You nod and smile back at her. "I'll see you then." You walk to your car, feeling lighter. But you also can't ignore the hair on the back of your neck rising as you drive away.

***

Summer 2017

You scream loudly as you turn to see a figure behind you. A shadow, dressed in all black. A white faceless mask covered their true face. They stand still as you back away, slowly tilting their head to the side.

"Run." A menacing whisper, a familiar tone.

You run.

[respectthepetty]

Pride Petty Watch

Long story short, I owe the BL gods, so I'll be watching TWO series from my Petty List during the month of June. This list includes shows I haven't watched for purely petty reasons, so I'm asking the crowd to pick the two shows I will watch from all the MAME series, some censored Chinese bromances, a few sexual tension-filled Korean bromances, and one wild card.

I'm making my first ever poll, so whichever two series get the highest numbers will be the two I watch. And for all the kind people in the crowd, this is not the time to think about me. Pick your favorite. And for all the people who I annoy on the daily with my wild ass takes that piss you off, pick TharnType. But there is a possibility of a secret thirteenth option that would hurt me much worse . . .

The petty ass reasons are below the poll.

Disclaimer: If you're going to read the petty ass reasons, I need you to understand these are PETTY ASS REASONS, so don't try to hit me with 2,000 words about why me not watching censored bromances is a problem or why me not liking your fave hurts your feelings. Nah. Pick a show!

MAME

Love By Chance

This show came out at the end of 2018, and I watched the first episode, maybe first two, and thought it was boring. Then, in 2019, I saw a GIF of the locker scene, so I recommitted. I made it past the first episode just when the PerthSaint drama started spilling out everywhere, so I chucked the deuces and haven't returned since.

TharnType

For some reason, I couldn't find the first episode when it aired. Then, I found out how the first episode ended. Then, I found out about Type's past. Then, I just kept finding out more awful stuff until eventually the MewGulf shit finally hit the fan, and I was still reeling from the PerthSaint drama (and the emerging ZeeSaint chaos). At this point, I've built this show up so much that I'm afraid to see what it is actually about.

Don't Say No

A story of another GIF of a locker room scene sucking me in! After the first two MAME pairs blew up, I believed her shows were cursed, so I opted out of watching this one even though I thought it would be the one to vibe with me the most. But the biggest reason was because the main characters came from TharnType, so I felt like I would have to watch TharnType to understand this show, which was a big hell nah.

Love in the Air

I watched this through mutuals on my dash, so I feel like I did watch it. It is also the highest rated MAME series, so I had faith in it. However, when I found out about Sky's past, TharnType's ghost popped back up, and I realized this demon of a show is gonna haunt me in every MAME series.

The Wedding Plan

Y'all hated one of the leads so much while it was airing that I now hate him, and I don't think I can let that go, so I'm coming in with pre-hate and TharnType's ghost, but on top of that, some of y'all said it was boring. But what is boring in a MAME series? Consent? Not kidnapping someone? I never got answers, so I'm very conflicted about this show.

Censored Chinese

The Untamed

It's color coded, but FIFTY FUCKING EPISODES! What is this shit? Grey's Anatomy? The fuck! Second, once China pulled Addicted, I was holding grudges for life because it crossed from entertainment censorship into real-world oppression, so I could not bring myself to support media from a country that openly discriminates against the queers when I live in America where our highest court is just one Supreme Court Justice away from making us all live in the damn Mojo Dojo Casa House.

Word of Honor

It's color coded, but THIRTY-SIX FUCKING EPISODES! What is this shit? Supernatural?! The fuck! Second, I don't know the difference between this and The Untamed. Both are color-coded, one of them has a lot of uncles (?), one of them has awful facial hair, and they all have pretty outfits. Every time someone makes a reference about these shows, I just nod the same way I do when people mention Star Wars because none of it makes sense.

Guardian

I spent two years believing Killer and Healer was Guardian. I haven't watched either, but I thought they were the same show. Honestly, if this show wins, I might just watch Killer and Healer because I will forget they are not the same show. Don't they both solve cases? And because it's China, past lives must be involved, no? I'm looking at their MDLs as I write this, and I'm still not convinced they are different.

Stay with Me

It's color coded, but I know how it ends, and word on the street is that IS the ending since a second season seems unlikely. China couldn't just let me be hurt over Addicted, the original. No. Gotta hurt me again with Addicted, the remake. Rude af.

The Spirealm

First off, SEVENTY-EIGHT FUCKING EPISODES! What is this shit? Law & Order: SVU?! The fuck! I know how this ends, and it ain't happy! I don't care how people are trying to spin it, so to sit through SEVENTY-EIGHT DAMN EPISODES just for that ending already has me irate. And don't try telling me Viki combined episodes so it's only thirty-four. That's still a lot. However, everybody who has watched it says it's phenomenal, so is the pain worth it or are these people all lying so they convince themselves it was worth it?

Korean Bromance

Beyond Evil

With most Korean dramas, I feel like I missing something important. Like some part of the story does not click with me and I stay lost for the rest of the show. I suck it up for the queers, but the not-queers-but-it-is-queer shows . . . nah, and especially one about cops . . . (-_-). Also, The Worst of Evil just showed, and it was another reminder that I need these cops to quit their jobs and just screw each other. Embrace "Be Gay. Do Crime"

The Devil Judge

I know enough about Kpop to know GOT7 would not let one of its members kiss a man in this show. I looked at those GIFs of Jeff Satur and Jackson Wang on their show knowing damn well that if Wang got too close to Satur, an entire management team would have ascended from hell and kidnapped both of them, so the promo for this show was so wild because it felt queerbait-adjacent, and I was salty about it.

WILD CARD!

This option will be automatically unlocked IF this stupid little poll gets 216 votes, so I have high hopes this will not happen since I ain't that popular and I hate this wild card which is . . .

SOTUS

This show is my original TharnType. It came out in 2016. I watched it live. I watched the sequel. I remember neither. New was in it? Off was in it?! WHAT?! I have no memory of this show except Krist wiping his mouth, and I have carried that with me for eight damn years. I loved Be My Favorite, so I thought I moved past whatever strange grudge I was holding against this man who doesn't know I exist nor care, but then I saw that trailer for The Ex-Morning, and unlike Elsa, I can't let this shit go, so I'm willing to play Jumanji and go back into the jungle to finish this once and all.

So what it's gonna be, mi gente. Which demons am I facing for Pride and what shows do I get to stay petty about? Help me decide!

[leclerc-s]

paint the town red - part seven

THE PEOPLE'S PRINCE IS VICTORIOUS

series masterlist

MONACO 2024

scuderiaferrari posted new stories

mr. lechair hard at work before media day for the monaco grand prix

pouty chili in his chilli hat

I'M GIVING THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT! YOU ASK FOR SEB CONTENT I GIVE YOU SEB CONTENT!

working hard or hardly working mr. mcqueen?

everyone could sense the pressure ferrari held today. everyone seemed to expect them to lead to charles to victory for the first time at his home race. it's not that it was impossible for them, they could do it, they knew that better than anyone, but they had an entire country counting on them. the pressure had been there for imola, but it was completely different for monaco. time and time again charles had been failed by his team and people hoped this would be the time things would change for the monegasque. everytime victory or a podium had been within his grasps ferrari had found a way to rip that away from him. not this time though, this time things were different, no matter what happened charles leclerc would be on the podium in 1st place at his home grand prix.

the camera's caught the moment sam wilson waved enthusiastically at will buxton. he laughed before approaching sam, who was wearing a ferrari shirt. he had both driver numbers on his shirt, all the avengers and co present did, as a way to support both drivers.

"captain america, a pleasure seeing you at the monaco grand prix," will said. sam smiled, "please, i'm off duty, it's just sam."

"well, sam, how excited are you for the race today?"

"super excited," sam answered. he gestured towards charles garage, "i know those guys are more excited than me, the hometown hero is on pole."

"do you think he'll win today?"

"hell yeah. there is no doubt in my mind about it."

"very well, it was nice talking to you," will said, excusing himself.

"bye!" sam shouted as he walked towards charles garage, most likely to find bucky.

the cameras focused on charles, as he pointed to something, bianca at his side. she gestured towards the wheels and charles nodded.

"it seems charles and his race engineer have great communication this year," will pointed out before he and the cameraman left towards a different garage.

inside the ferrari garage charles turned to bianca, "do you think it'll rain today?"

"yes," the brunette replied, biting her lip, "which is why we're putting you on mediums, that way we can extend our first stint. once it starts to drizzle, eventually leading to harsher rain, we'll pit you for inters. everyone will go for hards, starting on softs, meaning they'll have to pit again for inters."

"you really thought this through didn't you?"

bianca sighed, "i'm running on 3 hours of sleep because harley and i stayed up all night creating a backup plan for every little thing that could go wrong. we have an entire nation's eyes on us, waiting for their prince to be crowned. i needed to have back up plans."

"i'm not a prince," charles laughed.

"you are to them. you're the people's prince, they've been waiting for this victory since 2018. you've been waiting for this moment for so long, i'll be damned if you don't win today."

charles placed a hand on her shoulder, "i trust you, which is saying a lot considering my last engineer. we've got this."

bianca shook her head, "you've got this. you'll win today, i know it."

charles gave her a cheeky smile, "if i win today will you go on that second date with me?"

she laughed, ignoring the fact that there were two super-soldiers with super hearing in the ferrari garage. she was lucky there was too much noise for them to focus on her conversation with charles, "yes."

"great," charles said, "now i know i'll win."

"go get in the car," she ordered, laughing a bit. charles also laughed, "okay."

the moment he sat in the car, he tuned everything and everyone out. it was the same thing he did for every race, but this time it was amplified by 10, nothing and no one would stop him from emerging victorious at his home grand prix for the first time ever. this win wasn't even for him, it was for his papa, who had wished to see charles win their home grand prix. there was a certain determination in him for this race, a determination he hadn't felt in a long time.

"radio check," charles heard bianca's voice.

"do you think you could convince peter to play that one lady gaga song when i win? he knows the one," charles replied. bianca's laughter rang in his ears, "copy."

the five lights went out charles was gone, carlos behind him defending from max. red bull's upgrades seemed to help them out but it wasn't long before carlos was able to get away from him, leaving the red bull in the dust. a safety car during lap 27 allowed ferrari to double stack it's cars, a move that had previously failed them in the past. not this time, the team was ready with both sets of interns, the rain beginning a lap earlier. the other teams having to pit for inters again after already having pitted for hards, just like bianca had predicted.

charles was going to prove to those that had called him a waste of seat last season that he was a great fucking driver. he was going to win his home grand prix. the when didn't matter anymore, after today charles leclerc would be a winner of the monaco grand prix, the first in nearly 100 years to do so. he was going to go down in monaco's history. charles was so focused on his race that he failed to notice the checkered flag, or even hear the crowd roaring in glee and pride.

the ferrari garage had erupted into chaos, bucky was seen lifting arthur onto his shoulders and running out towards the pitwall, sam and steve grabbing lorenzo. pepper stark-potts stands with pascale, comforting the woman who is crying tears of joy. some team members are seen running out, waving the monaco flag high.

"with this of the late jules bianchi, who said to ferrari, ‘you’ve got to take this guy, you’ve got to make sure that he gets to formula 1’ and what a gift that was to give. in 2017, charles leclerc lost his father and in his final days he told his father a white lie, that’s he’d made it to formula one, that he’d signed the contract. it wasn’t true then, but his driving has made it true now, and look what he’s done with the opportunity! the grandstand he saw built as a kid growing up, now rise for him, and for the first time in 93 years this fabled race is won, by one of their own! charles leclerc wins the monaco grand prix to achieve his dream, victory in his home race! well done charles leclerc, it’s mission accomplished, destiny fulfilled, you’ve got that one forever.”

"CHARLES, YOU ARE THE WINNER OF THE MONACO GRAND PRIX! TU L'AS FAIT!" lorenzo's voice was heard telling charles. charles voice was a mess of italian, french, and english, but one phrase was clear, "we did it papa. we did it."

the car comes to a stop at the parc ferme, where charles jumps out of his car, standing on top of it his finger goes up, a classic nod to sebastian who laughs in the crowd. the camera pans to his family, who stand surrounded by avengers, in the middle of it all, watching him as he basks in his win. carlos and max, who complete the podium, rush to him before he has a chance to jump into the arms of his team. the moment the helmet and balaclava come off, the tears are evident, he jumps into the arms of his team, who slap him congratulating him, they're just as ecstatic as him, they know how long he's waited for this. he ends up in front of his family, all four of them crying together, before he parts ways with them, his mother whispers something to him and he nods. he hugs bianca, the brunette returns it, and charles moves on to hug sebastian. he's whisked away to do his interviews and to the cool down room.

“you did it,” carlos tells him in the cool down room, “you finally did it.”

"you're next," charles whispers and carlos laughs, it's a tender moment between the two teammates before emotions get the best of charles.

charles cries again and carlos hugs him. max enters the room to spot charles crying, he frowns at carlos before joining the hug. despite whatever angle the media will try to spin later, they know it’s simply a friend comforting another. later, charles will sob in the arms of his best friend as he realizes his childhood dream has come true. he is a winner of the monaco grand prix.

on the podium he shines, a prince finally crowned, twitter will say minutes later. the people’s prince of monaco had finally earned the win he fought so hard for. the tears still glisten in his eyes. his finger goes up again, and crowd's cheers are deafening. as he receives his 1st place trophy, he gives it a kiss holding it up and pointing it towards the sky, a clear reminder of who this win was for. the crowd scream with joy as their prince finally gets the win they all longed for.

liked by pierregasly, arthur_leclerc, tonystark and others

scuderiaferrari charles leclerc, winner of the monaco grand prix, future world champion.

tagged: charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc

view all comments

username i sobbed. i literally sobbed when i realized what had just happened.

username THE CRYSTALS WORKED BITCHES! CHARLES LECLERC IS THE WINNER OF THE MONACO GRAND PRIX!

↳ username HELL YEAH THEY DID! WE CAN FINALLY SAY CHARLES IS THE WINNER OF THE MONACO GRAND PRIX

username this is the most normal ferrari caption i've seen. now carlos to win his home grand prix next

↳ scuderiaferrari that's the plan bestie! both our boys will win their home grand prix this year.

username ferrari being cocky about charles winning the championship is so hot of them. they've got such a lead over everyone else that they know they're going home with the championship one way or another.

pierregasly tu l'as fait charles!

landonorris congrats charles! you deserved this one!

↳ scuderiaferrari are you implying he didn't deserve his other wins 🤔?

↳ landonorris DO NOT PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH PARKER!

olliebearman arthur's still crying...

↳ arthur_leclerc MY BROTHER JUST WON THE MONACO GRAND PRIX BEARMAN! LET ME BE!

↳ user28 supportive brother arthur crying over charles's win is so cute.

samwilson YEAH! THAT'S IL PREDESTINATO RIGHT THERE!

america_chavez who knew an f1 race would make tony emotional?

↳ c_barton TONY CRIED? AND I MISSED IT? THAT'S SO NOT FAIR!

joaquintorres well that was an experience. congratulations charles!

↳ scott_lang C'MON THE NEW GUY WENT BUT I DIDN'T EVEN GET AN INVITE?

↳ tonystark you said you were busy, that's why you didn't get an invite. joaquin was available, hence the invite.

harleykeener HELL YEAH! NOW IT'S TIME TOPARTY! DRINKS ON TONY!

↳ alex_albon i'm in!

↳ tonystark i never agreed to that?

↳ biancastark-potts you're a billionaire, you can afford it. don't be stingy.

liked by peterparker, america_chavez, katebishop and others

biancastark_potts monaco, i think i like you

comments have been restricted by user

samwilson PAUSE! WHO IS THAT!

america_chavez monaco? is that what we're calling him now?

↳ biancastark_potts don't make me tell stephen what happened the other day

↳ america_chavez understood, i know nothing.

harleykeener so that's why you left the party early

↳ carlossainz55 you know who else left early, right?

↳ harleykeener no?

↳ carlossainz55 i will text you

tonystark STOP HIDING MY PHONE! I'LL FIND OUT WHO HE IS ONE WAY OR ANOTHER BIANCA!

↳ biancastark_potts no, you won't, because not even nat and buck have figured out who it is. if the two spies can't figure it out, you won't either.

↳ natasharomanoff she's good tony. i haven't got a clue who it is.

↳ buckybarnes i desperately want to know who it is so i can warn the poor guy to run for the hills.

↳ biancastark-potts fuck you bucky.

alex_albon you're telling me i know something the avengers don't? oh my god this is great.

↳ samwilson spill albon. what do you know?

↳ alex_albon no can do wilson. i'm being blackmailed, my own girlfriend has turned against me.

↳ lilymhe i want to know how far they're willing to take this thing. both bianca and the avengers.

↳ georgerussell63 the avengers wish they were us right now

↳ biancastark_potts WHO ELSE KNOWS?

↳ landonorris me and charles know too!

↳ biancastark_potts oh for fucks sake.

wandamaximoff second date?

↳ biancastark_potts went well, a third one is up in the air.

↳ michellejones she says this so no one will follow her on her date.

↳ biancastark_potts zip it jones.

↳ michellejones tell me everything

↳ biancastark_potts deal.

you just had to tell someone didn't you?

AMERICA KNOWS! AND WANDA! AND MJ! I'M ALLOWED TO TELL PEOPLE!

can those losers be trusted to keeping a secret?

the twitch quartet has been vowed to secrecy! except for alex, he accidentally told lily. she scolded him for telling her, so the secret is safe with her.

they are more so happy they can hold something over the avengers.

oh god. we're doomed.

series taglist: @celesteblack08 @be-your-coffee-pot @evans-dejong @elliegrey2803 @bingewatche @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @lorarri @melanier7 @ironspdy @mypage-myfandoms @vellicora @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @enchantedthoughts @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @fulla02 @cowboylikemets1989 @six-call @embrosegraves @justtprachisblog @bionic-donut @rmeddar123 @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @raizelchrysanderoctavius @burningcupcakefire @spilled-coffee-cup @jamie-selwyn @cool-ultra-nerd @kami10471633 @int3rnetgf @fernandoswarcrimes @skynel09 @arieltwvdtohamflash @mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @chiliwhore @tygecjjd @nothaqks @nataliambc @formulaa1d @prongsvault @kaa212 @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @georgeparisole

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

¡leclerc-s speaks! monaco is so special it deserves it's own chapter. i hope i did the racing scene justice, they are not my forte. if the race strategy seems familiar, no it doesn't (i'm unoriginal and i know nothing about race strategies. lol.)

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[generouskittentidalwave]

Watching the She-ra reboot after 5-6 years

Hey remember that show in 2018 that came out on Netflix during Tumblr's Twitter era and stirred up enough toxicity to turn you into Dave the Skeleton in the highschool science classroom?

Well BUCKLE IN for a RIDE cause I recently watched that show for the first time after avoiding it for YEARS, after seeing the fans and the haters be so devoted to either the fans praising it like a godsent deity or haters devoting their whole life to finding something wrong with every aspect of the show that it makes you wonder if they realized that they've become the Catra that they sought to destroy, I decided to avoid even touching the show and went about my life in other fandoms.

Well years have passed and like a Hallmark movie time abruptly went on and the drama soon faded, the tides have settled, the war has ended, and neither side remains the same. The fans have grown up, matured and enjoy the show as it is and the haters have lost all that sweet sustenance back in 2019 and have went the ways of the DoDo. With everything finally settled, I joined in on the rush of new fans recently that started rewatching the series and wanted to display my thoughts as well as a first time watcher ^^

I went in well aware of all the criticisms in mind, and having seen the original She-ra, and I just gotta say that my worrisome thoughts on watching it was completely washed away from the start of the show. I was worried of Adora being that one marysue character that is from the bad guys side but is actually a good a guy with the personality of white bread and with flaws of just being "a little bit QuiRkY" but she completely shooed away those fears. She is a well balanced character with a unique and well done backstory, her character breaking away from the steriotypical chosen ones and her having flaws that don't take away her being a good person but instead have their own charm and relatability that makes her very fun and down to earth. She is so golden retriever coded and I love it. What I like most though is that she wasn't "random main character comes in to lead everyone to victory out of nowhere" , instead of making her the unsaid leader, they made her the main character who is the muscle of the group and part of the heart and has to learn overtime and understand their ways instead of making her the leader. It makes way for her to pave and earn her way as being the main character instead of it being given by default by making her the leader and I love that break away. And that break away also helps to counter the fears I heard about the white savior trope by making Adora the way she was and making Glimmer and Glimmer's mom the queen the actual leaders of the rebellion that they helped start.

Love the best friends squad, I love Glimmer's growth and her bond with Adora, I like how she went downhill and built herself back up again as a person as it was very realistic with her being so young and having to replace her mom as queen. Bow is my spirit animal, period, but I really want to know more about his huge family. I imagine that because they are all historians they must go to the academy or similar academies that Bow was meant to go to and I can see why they wouldn't question him not being there as 12 siblings is A LOT to keep track of. Swiftwind is great but he shall always be known as Horsie and the queen's sacrifice hurts everytime I see it, I love how she owned up to her own flaws. Shadowweaver messed up being a mother figure 3 times, she needs parenting classes fr, 'nough said. I love all the princesses but Mermista is my personal favorite. Also why is aunt cast named Castaspella, I can't even say it without dying of laughter 💀🖐️

Now I know some of you are sitting at your computer with 5 monsters in hand and sweat anxiously dripping from your forehead as you dramatically hover over the keys just WAITING to write a five page essay response if I even dare to utter the name Catra and her relationship with Adora. So, I'ma give you my opinion.

Honestly, their romance was the end goal since the beginning and the story made that clear and honestly I like Catra's growth as a character from her knowing she has anger issues and actively working on it to better herself, helping to save others and helping to save Adora in the end. Her realizing that pushing others away to protect herself only harms her and everyone around her in the end and her realistically taking it slow and steady to better herself as a person for herself and for Adora is something a really like. Yes their relationship was hella toxic, especially in the middle (but I do like how Adora recognized that and punched Catra when they were in the portal). The build up was great, the middle ground of her doubling down was great, and I think her growth at the end was great and that the two are happy and not in a toxic relationship with eachother anymore at the end. I think what truly makes it odd is although the redemption was great the time constraints made it so they couldn't flesh it out to help answer and address the past actions that were caused by her, they did so great with her slowly becoming better and better, and so it wouldn't have come off as bad as it did if they had just a bit more time to address everything with that instead of being forced to dive right into it which definitely left a- well- less than good impression to it's audience. But they tried their best with what they could do and honestly for a show as surprisingly dark as this I'm just glad they aren't in a toxic relationship anymore and are happy in the end and that Catra got redeemed. It definitely wasn't trying to romanize abuse, however it came off as such due to constraints and them rushing the ending which gave plenty of ammo to people who already hated the show to have a reason to hate it more. In my opinion if you don't like it that's valid, if you do like it that's valid, me personally I'm not a romance person so I couldn't care enough either way.

Now to address some things I know some people are waiting for, but in speed run fashion. Mara's She-ra design was the fault of the designers not agreeing on what they wanted her to look like, I was expecting her to have brown flowing hair not blonde, I get the stripping of individuality message they tried to go with, it just needed better designers and better execution but that's as deep as it goes. It's not that they are racist, they are more along the lines of "you need a more organized team cause her design changes every five seconds like wtf" kind of situation. I'm glad they didn't automatically forgive Hordak or accept him but I'm glad he was changed enough to not be a killer that's mass murdering people anymore and as long no one is dying by his hands anymore and people don't automatically forgive him then that's fine by me, whatever keeps others from dying a horrible unnecessary death.

Overall, in conclusion, love the show, great depth, great characters, love the humor and amazing magical girl transformations, awesome rep, stronk princess punching things, would most definitely recommend, especially now with all the wave of chaos it's initial release sucked in now evaporated. (Seriously there are full tags and blogs deticated to hating a show about glowing princesses fighting aliens, it's okay to not like a show but come on people there is more to life than that 💀) Enjoy it, have fun, and I hope you have a great day/night! ^^

[genericpuff]

So this is random, sorry, but someone I know is reading a touch of darkness (I think you've mentioned it here before) and oh my gods your right?? It's literally just LO in book format instead of a Webtoon. Persephone and Hades in a "modern" setting except this time he's a gambling den owner instead of running a corporation that stands in for the underworld. Persephone is a student at university etc etc until she happens to run into Hades (and is already weirdly fascinated with him for some odd reason). Enemies to lovers tropes out the wazoo, badly written smut etc. Like wow I know there's bound to be some overlap but this feels almost copy pasted. It's like a weird vicious cycle of the modern era where we keep getting the same tired Hades and Persephone story of "their in love really and they hurt people but it's hot and Demeter is a helicopter mom" that follow the same formula. Why is it such a thing? LO, a touch of darkness, losing beauty etc. There's so many of them.

OMG SO I HAVE A FUNNY STORY ABOUT THAT ACTUALLY LOL

a pal sent me this a couple weeks back and uh. I'm like 95% sure this person is talking about A Touch of Darkness:

That said, I think it's really ironic that people are trying to 'report' whatever book this could be considering the characters in LO are not really Rachel's 'characters', but A Touch of Darkness is SUPER egregious with how much it ripped off LO. It came out in May 2019, and LO started in the Originals section in March 2018, though it was on Tumblr before that so I don't think it's far-fetched to think that Scarlett St. Claire read LO and was 'inspired' to write a novel that was exactly the same.

The reader here though says that LO came out 3-4 years before this unnamed series, which does make me think it could be something else, but it's also "series of novels" which A Touch of Darkness definitely is at this point.

So yeah, this could either go nowhere due to Rachel not owning anything when it comes to the Greek myth characters in her 'retelling', or it could lead to the smackdown of the century LOL

[rainbowsky]

Hi rainbowsky! I'm a new-ish (autumn 2023) Yizhan fan - it's been so much fun to explore and read everything available, your blog included! I really enjoy your opinions and insights. I have a question and a request. Question: When CQL first started airing, what were people saying about the relationship between WWX and LZ in the show, and about the actors playing them? Did the CP start right away? Request: Then later on, when the BTS started appearing (when was that - after the show finished airing, right?), what were people saying about the real interactions between the two actors? Were people shocked? Amazed? Even more curious? I can imagine social media was on fire! But I'd like to hear from someone who "lived" through it in real time. Please give me a description of what it was like - especially what your thoughts and feeling were as you saw it happening. I wish I could have been there! Thank you!

Hi Blbrave! Thanks so much, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog!

This is all a very, very long time ago, but I'll do my best to share what I can remember.

Actually, the CP started before the show began airing. The supertopics were opened during filming in 2018. I think this was inevitable, given that the series is based on a BL story. Of course fans of the novel will go into all of this with an eye toward the two characters and, by extension, GG and DD.

Similarly, as the show was airing of course there were a large number of viewers who knew it was a BL and viewed it as a BL at that time, even though it was being billed as a martial brotherhood series. There was a lot of analysis from fans trying to spot various ways that the production team managed to get around censorship and signal the queer romance between WWX and LWJ.

Others have done far better, more comprehensive analysis of all that than I could ever do, but it's so long ago I don't know where those posts might have gone. Some of this was discussed in my post about queerbaiting, so you can look there for more info.

As I said in that post, one of their smartest ways of highlighting the queer relationship was to downplay romance between the straight characters. We never see a straight couple doing something that we don’t also see LWJ and WWX doing. Yanli's wedding happens off camera, yet we see LWJ and WWX do their bows on camera. There’s never a kiss or any kind of PDA between straight characters, yet we see LWJ and WWX in each other’s arms throughout the series.

We got a gay kiss:

We got gay sex:

There was also the headband repeatedly being described as the domain of only family and spouses, and the various ways they connected it with WWX. WWX grabbing it when he was possessing the paperman, and also at one point being tied to LWJ by the wrist with the headband - all of this signalling that WWX was a spousal figure for LWJ.

There was the drunk scene with LWJ giving WWX chickens (a wedding tradition in China).

And many more examples I won't get into.

There were many of those types of things in the series, and they were discussed enthusiastically at the time. However, I don't think there were many bystanders who made those connections. It was primarily fans of the books/show (i.e. those who appreciated it as a BL story and not as a bromance/friendship story) who saw and discussed those hints.

I know the idea that anyone could be so oblivious to the gay subtext throughout the story that they miss the queerness entirely is hard to get one's head around, but straight viewers usually just see WWX and LWJ as best friends and sworn martial brothers. The show could never have been made or aired if that wasn't the case.

In fact, newer fans might not be aware that there was a lot of controversy during filming because of leaked early attempts to create a straight romance between Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing. Some relationship-building scenes between them were filmed, and at one point in the BTS GG is heard complaining about the straight romance and saying that all those scenes should be deleted.

In the production team's defense, there was doubt at the time about whether the show could air given its source material as a BL novel. They likely had investors and backers pressuring them to make sure that the story was unambiguously straight.

Fans of the novel made a massive uproar about it, threatening to boycott the series. The backlash was so extreme that it became a bigger threat to the success of the show, and the straight romance was killed. We all owe a lot to those agitators! 😅

The BTS

The BTS clips were first discussed in an Untamed press conference (that section of the interview starts at around 36:30). The producer said that in the future some of the behind-the-scenes moments would be shared. GG and DD exchanged a glance and looked extremely uncomfortable with it.

A lot of turtles find that clip funny, and laugh about what GG and DD might 'have to hide', but I have never understood how fans can find GG and DD's discomfort funny.

It might surprise some newer turtles to hear that there were moments where GG and DD appeared to be uncomfortable with the BTS, but there were.

Another moment happened in an interview where GG and DD were asked to explain a BTS scene of the two of them in the boat, where GG is lying in DD's lap. DD turns to the interviewer with a shocked and displeased look on his face and says, "They released this?"

There were other moments as well, but I haven't kept a comprehensive record of all that. This happened long before I clued in on how quickly clips can disappear in this fandom.

I believe that it is totally normal to have mixed feelings about the BTS, and I believe GG and DD are no exception to that. No doubt they enjoy some of the clips and feel uncomfortable about some of them, just like many turtles (myself included).

There were official BTS clips released during promo, but the unofficial BTS clips didn't come until later. I talked in more detail about the unofficial BTS and how they came to be released here.

The unofficial clips began being released by fansites in the fall of 2020. It would be hard to overstate how different the atmosphere around them was to what it is now. Now it's quite common to find BTS clips all over the place, both in C-social media and on international sites like YouTube and Instagram.

However, back in 2020 they were extremely hard to get ahold of, and sharing them outside of where they were initially released was strictly forbidden and frowned upon by fans. In fact, if you dig back through my 2020 posts I'm sure you'll find many posts where I admonish people not to share the BTS clips, and where I bitch about people sharing them without authorization. I also answered a lot of asks about these issues at the time (just one example).

Times have changed a lot, and now everyone is sharing them all very freely without any concerns.

The situation was a lot different back then:

GG and DD had gained a tremendous amount of popularity from the show, but their reputations and careers were not yet fully established and secure.

227 was still an active concern that was still making news and still impacting GG's life directly. He had not yet recovered from any of it and was still mostly lying low. He was constantly being attacked and antis were constantly out to get him.

The Untamed was still fresh and current, and being discussed regularly in the media. Because filming was still fairly recent, what happened during filming would still run the risk of impacting GG and DD's lives and careers.

Fans were coming under very close scrutiny because of 227 and other fandom-related scandals. The government was starting to crack down heavily on fandom culture.

This was all uncharted territory. No one knew how the BTS might be received, or how it might impact GG and DD. Fans were very freaked out about the possibility of anything compromising getting leaked and harming the boys.

No doubt fansites were also worried about how fans might respond to some of the releases, and wanted to ensure they didn't upset or anger fans, or stir up more excitement than could be safely contained within the fandom.

All of this contributed to a climate of extreme caution and secrecy around the release of BTS clips.

We never knew when one might be released, and when they were released they were typically only put online for a few minutes, then deleted. This was all done in an effort to limit the exposure of these clips primarily to turtles who have GGDD's best interests in mind.

The clips were heavily watermarked and overlaid with visual and audio curses that 'reuploaders must die!' ('banyun biss', which I'm sure most of you have encountered in some of the clips you've seen).

Early clips were heavily watermarked.

Those who missed out were out of luck. It was extremely socially unacceptable to re-share clips once they'd been deleted. Those who missed out would have to rely on recaps and transcripts from those who had seen the clips. Fans took to staying up all hours watching and waiting for a release.

Back in those days people tried to save every clip they could, hoarding them greedily. Turtles' phones were filling up with large video files. It's funny to think about now, because the clips are everywhere and so easy to find these days, but back then it was a whole Thing.

The initial releases were sporadic and quite tame as fansites dipped their toes in the water of how all this would be received. Gradually over time clips became more frequent and stayed up longer, and some of the more salacious stuff began being released. Those clips were often accompanied by hilarious intro images.

(For those who don't get it, it's the PornHub logo).

Of course all of the clips were heavily discussed as they came out, and a clearer picture of GG and DD's relationship and of their experience of filming began to take shape over time. Some of the fake rumors (such as the 49 fake candies and the CPN that GG designed a racing suit for DD) were gradually proved to be true as these clips were released. However, that was mostly confined to fandom circles.

There were occasionally times when these clips or their content would cross over into the mainstream and start trending on Weibo. In many of those cases, the hotsearches would be bought and pushed by antis of GG and DD who want to see them cancelled. At those times turtles would jump into action to wash those topics and replace them with mundane, unrelated content.

There were fan theories and fake rumors about GG and DD's reaction to the clips. Sometimes when new clips were released GG and DD would be seen online and turtles assumed they were watching them. Of course, considering the clips featured them, it's highly likely that they did eagerly await releases just like the rest of us.

I suspect that it was likely a mixed bag for them. Some clips might have really stressed them out either upon initial release or after reactions began to emerge, while others likely made them laugh and feel nostalgic about filming.

A large percentage of BXG light banners and slogans came directly out of the BTS, some of which you can see GG and DD discussing in LRLG rumors.

Dumplings, rice noodles, 3+2 biscuits (cr @knivescharade in this post), discussed in this LRLG rumor.

There were definitely a few scandals and close calls that came out of the unofficial BTS, and solos and antis frequently tried to use them against GG and DD and tried to spin negative narratives about their relationship using disingenuous takes and edits of them (they still do to this day).

For example, the clip where GG tells DD that he prefers a natural look to idol makeup was used against GG at the time, and antis tried to make it seem like GG was homophobic and that GG was against men wearing makeup. Some of the clips where they were playfighting or bickering were used to try to create a narrative that they hated each other. That kind of thing.

BTS and fan service

One of the most common questions I've gotten about the BTS - and I still often get this question - is, "Aren't the BTS just acted out/scripted as fan service to promote the show?"

There are a few reasons people have this question in their minds.

Solos #1 narrative about GGDD is that their CP was just for the show and the BTS was all fan service, and nothing about their relationship is real. They push this claim very aggressively on social media anytime GGDD or The Untamed is discussed, and new fans will almost always encounter those claims in this way.

CP fan service is a normal part of how dramas are promoted, so people familiar with Asian dramas will often immediately jump to that assumption about GG and DD and about the BTS.

Heteronormativity leads many people to immediately dismiss the possibility of a gay relationship, which leads them to try to come up with other explanations for those clips.

People naturally have a hard time believing what they're seeing with some of those clips. Some of it is pretty jaw-dropping and it's understandable that some people will be skeptical.

However, there are a lot of really good reasons why these clips are obviously not fan service.

For one thing, the show was billed as a martial brotherhood, not as a romance. Some of the official BTS clearly did try to appeal to CP and MDZS fans and could be counted as fan service, but those weren't even the ones BXG are most excited about. (There is a playlist of some of the official BTS clips here).

The most exciting stuff was never released during promo, and almost none of it is overtly romantic. A lot of it is really crude and totally unreleasable as promo. GG and DD are lewd, crude and often rude in ways that only two people who are really close could ever get away with. In many cases it's the casual way GG and DD constantly cross polite social boundaries with each other that shows their intimacy, rather than anything overtly sweet or romantic.

A lot of it is also totally incomprehensible to regular audiences. You have to be a turtle digging deeply into GGDD to understand the significance of most of it. For example the way GG took care of DD on his birthday, or the way DD constantly bargained and haggled with GG to get him to eat more.

Most importantly, if it was all fan service then why did GG and DD never do any joint CP endorsements? The entire point of doing that type of fan service is to make a buck. Other drama CP - including BL - do this all the time.

And it doesn't make sense that a production that was as low budget as The Untamed could afford to have the two lead actors learn a whole second set of lines and do a whole second performance that never ended up getting released.

And of course, none of that explains why the bulk of the BTS clips ended up in the hands of fans and released years after the show finished airing. A lot of it still has never been released to this day.

I've often joked that if the BTS were scripted they were far more complex, more melodramatic and better written than the drama itself. You just can't come up with this stuff in a writer's room. 😅

Anyway, this post got a bit long but hopefully it gives you a bit more of a picture of what it was all like at the time. Sorry, I guess I didn't talk much about my own feelings/reactions, but hopefully you can get somewhat of a sense.

Overall it was exciting, but I also had some deep reservations about it all (and got a lot of hate mail for voicing those feelings, too). Keep in mind this wasn't long after 227, so I think it's understandable that I was feeling very wary about everything.

But that's all water under the bridge now. It's been many years, and if the BTS were going to harm GGDD it would have already happened. I think it's all pretty safe territory now.

Edit: some more of my thoughts and feelings at the time:

One of the most exciting things for me about the BTS clips was seeing so many of the fake rumors being proved true. There were a lot of rumors (including the 49 fake candies) that I totally scoffed at when I first heard about them, only to later find via the BTS clips that I had been totally wrong about them and that these things had actually happened, and even crazier things were gradually revealed.

Things were changing pretty rapidly for a while there now that I think about it.

Learning more about their relationship and seeing just how much they looked out for each other was another big one for me. Also the timeline. The BTS really reinforced my belief in The Devil's Timeline (the belief that they got together prior to filming).

But overall that was a very different time in the fandom as well. There were always so many candies coming out, not just BTS clips but things that came out of GG and DD's activities and social media posts. It was a really really busy time in the fandom.

Since then there has been a government crackdown on fandom culture, on the entertainment industry, on LGBTQ etc. in China, plus DD's split with Nike and him having to delete a lot of his GG candy posts from his Weibo account.

Things are so different now, and unfortunately a lot of it for the worse. Being a turtle is not always easy, and I'm sure being GG and DD can't always be easy either. We make it work, but I do sometimes look back wistfully on the freer, more exciting times in the fandom.

More such times could come in the future. We just have to keep moving forward and hope for the best.

Somewhat related: I did a semi-comprehensive post about GG and DD's reaction to turtles here.

[wheregoodthingsthrive]

Politicizing Saiyans (but not how you might think)

To think too hard about Saiyans is my job. Especially in the context of what I do- I gotta combine my interests or else I will shrivel up like a sad little plant that hasn't seen the sun for five years nor had water in ten. So, what am I combining now? Dragon Ball and political composition, functions, and apparatuses. For reference, I am a political science student (International Relations and Military Force, specifically) so when I got into Dragon Ball, I was not expecting to be able to identify a minimally shown and explored militaristic galactic despot with vassal states with one said vassal state being a really interesting sketch of a government system so intricately avoided, I can't help but theorize and apply what I consider myself to know a lot about.

This is all personal headcanon and absolute indulgence in my own niche interests in the realms of history, world building, and political science. There is no evidence for easily 1/2 of what's going to be in here but that's how it is. This will probably be a yapping session meant to just. Get my thoughts on Saiyan structure (and Freeza Force application) out into words and hopefully (maybe, preferably) talk to other people who are equally insane about Saiyan/DB universe exploration despite having next to no evidence as to why we think the way we do lol (THIS IS VERY LONG)

I. Government Structural Basics

My favorite... Genuinely. The Saiyans are my political analysis DREAM (just without all the math). Some lore -- the first DB content I was exposed to, in full, was the 2018 Broly movie. Not the best start in terms of canonical timelines and building content from the ground up - BUT - it happened. I was not expecting a shonen manga-anime series to have a movie that opens with such a heavy handed demonstration of a tyrannical despot and vassal state patronage. Maybe I am giving it too much credit but the dictatorial, patrilineal passing of power, so seamlessly avoiding any form of deliberation or consultation we see Cold direct and the disillusioned response of the Saiyans is so so so easy to connect to an empire-vassal dichotomy that I simply cannot help myself. A vassal state, a medieval perfected concept, is a state that is beholden to an empire or superior state's power. A great example would be the Ottoman Empire and the lower cradle of S.E. Europe, feel free to go look it up. The controlled Vegetasei/Planet Vegeta encompasses this definition but ALSO it's more enriched one: "a state with varying degrees of independence in its internal affairs but dominated by another state in its foreign affairs and potentially wholly subject to the dominating state". Vegetasei is a fully functioning monarchy (more on this later, too) that is beholden to the Freeza Force with it's time, resources, militaristic strength, personnel, citizenship, and sovereignty. It functions internally with a significant degree of independence, with external function that benefits solely the dominating state. I think its not really a stretch of the brain to see the empire-vassal patron relationship here. Though we do not know HOW Cold overtook the Saiyans, the assumption of force is reasonable, a common denominator in vassal states. Or, possibly, given the Saiyan values and the expectation of the FF, they were absorbed consensually that then delved into tyrannical patronage. I don't know. This is more of a sketch of my general assumptions and thoughts for this section and a spring board for the deeper explorations of Saiyan politics.

II. Vegetasei: The Oppressive Oppressed Vassal State

Now that we've established the relationship at the core of Saiyans and their lizardy occupant, I can get into the specifics. More of my favorite thing to do! I see much discussion of the treatment of Saiyans by the Cold Dynasty but not much on the condition of Vegetasei's internal workings and authoritative structure. Which is strange as I feel the political condition of the Saiyans is just as conducive to character arcs like Vegeta's or motivations like King Vegeta's as the subjugation conducted by the Force is. So, what is Vegetasei's political composition? What makes the Saiyans, especially their prince and king, behave the way they do? Bear with me. The Saiyans are a monarchical meritocracy with values of militarism and rigid, hierarchical social cohesion philosophy. That's a lot of words. Too bad I'm going to make you read (understand) them!

III. Monarchical

This one is self explanatory but I am a yapper so yap about it I must! Saiyans are a monarchy. Wow. Shocker. But I would like to propose that the Saiyans function as a faux-mixed absolutist monarchy with hereditary expectation but is prone to socially acceptable coup d'état. Let's get some more defining out of the way. A faux-mixed absolutist monarchy is my own proposed hybrid of a mixed and absolutist monarchical structure.

Mixed: a form of government that combines elements of democracy, aristocracy and monarchy ostensibly making impossible their respective degenerations which are conceived in Aristotle's Politics as anarchy, oligarchy and tyranny.

Absolute: a form of monarchy in which the monarch rules in their own right or power. In an absolute monarchy, the king or queen is by no means limited and has absolute power.

Okay. So. We can see throughout many flashbacks to Vegetasei in its heyday that King Vegeta was surrounded by what looks like a council or military posse, constantly. He has a consultative court that, really, has no authority and might just be there for political bluff and show/posturing. We see matters of science, military, and general royal court procedures be present in King Vegeta's assembly. Paragus is described as a "colonel", implying there is a military hierarchy that spills out beneath the king. There is also a blue-cloaked Saiyan who speaks openly to King Vegeta about denying Freeza's request for the prince. Additionally, there are instances of scientists talking openly about the prince's incapacity compared to Broly to the king's face and live. So, given these, it seems these positions are places of legitimate prestige but hold no sway in political construction. Thus, I'd argue there are political apparatuses and institutional bodies placed beneath the king, who will ultimate say over them. I've included what I think the Saiyan monarchy is structured like (it's pretty rudimentary but I am not going for 100% depth*):

*You can see I denote that the presence of children makes or breaks minor positioning in the upper caste of the royal family/echelon of Saiyans. I think posterity is very important. Read more slightly below.

On top of being absolutist, I'd like to argue that the monarchy has "hereditary expectations [and susceptibility] to socially acceptable coup d'état". What do I mean by this? I believe it is pretty easy to assume that the Saiyan monarchy (given its corrupt maintenance) is held by the House of Vegeta/Court of Vegeta, depending on who you ask. I make the assumption on calling it the HOUSE OF VEGETA because of the familial name. Often, royal families are defined by the names inherited by its members (i.e. the Brits). With our prince of all Saiyans Vegeta being the fourth in his lineage, I think it is safe for me to assume this condition. From there, I work under the idea that the right of the king is passed down from parent -> child (assumedly father -> son if we look at what we have so far in canon. I would assume the same value is placed on females and that females can inherit the title of queen/whatever their female equivalent is from their father's or sole maternal parent. That's a whole other essay. Sexual dimorphism does not equal sexism but anyways). So, that covers the standard understanding of familial/hereditary expectations. Right? Sure. Hang tight. I think an important thing to note is that we never see or hear (as far as I know, please correct me if I am wrong) Vegeta call Trunks or Bulla by any term of royal value. Therefore, I'd like to make the argument that even if the royal tie is carried from generation to generation, there is only the expectation of royalty found in blood, not instant ordainment. This is where socially acceptable coups come in.

Vegeta says in the Broly 2018 movie (much to my dismay, this version is so much worse) that, upon the death of his father, "[he'll] never get to be King Vegeta" (paraphrasing). While this is a poorly written throw away line, pair it with how Vegeta never, ever refers to himself as king. Always prince. He will forever be the prince. Even Freeza observes this, albeit with malicious intent. I'd like to argue then that Vegeta, as the son of the king, is expected to fight for and win his position as king or to be purposefully given it by his father but because he can never be properly ordained/crowned as king, he is stuck as prince, dooming his lineage to never receive the rightful processes to accept their blood's expectation. This is how multiple families can compete for the throne. Should a blood-obligated child of the king fail to ascend (either by coup/force or by selection by their father), a rival family or individual can swoop in and compete for the inheritance of the throne. And how do they compete and validate their ascension to a throne that belonged to a different family? Merit. How does a son/daughter usurp, be granted, or claw their way to the throne? Merit. Which Segways perfectly into the next part of Saiyan structure!

IV. Meritocracy

Much like it's empirical controller, Vegetasei is so merit based it almost hurts. A meritocracy asserts that a government is ruled/power is held by individuals "selected on the basis of their ability". Further, "advancement in such a system is based on performance, as measured through examination or demonstrated achievement". A meritocracy also asserts that the accumulation of wealth, power, and influence is concentrated in those who are higher valued by the society itself. This I think is pretty well explained by the privilege and value placed upon those with higher power levels. Their concept of merit (as per Vegeta's narration and understanding of Saiyan culture, excusing any inconsistencies or indoctrination for a moment) is constructed on a few things: pride, capability, born caliber, and execution of these elements. The concept of these merits runs so deep in Saiyan culture that it runs BOTH ways in terms of power capacity: too weak is seen as a weakness that must be exterminated or exiled while also too powerful is seen as a danger to the fabric of society (i.e. the arrangement of power). So, merit is a double edged sword to Saiyan society and this facet of danger is increased by the Force's regime. Merit manifests itself in very different ways (that I will get to in later sections) but the important foundation here is that due to being a meritocracy, there is NO trickle down political or societal gain from the monarchy. There is only a frantic scramble up. If you are too weak, you must scathe by if you have not already been disgraced. Too strong? Either hope it's beneficial to the society or that the Force or the crown does not consider you a threat. Either way, whether you're run of the mill or an outlier in power level, the merit of your Saiyan Traits is what gets you anywhere. What I find interesting is that there is evidence that implies societal climbing while also hinging on NO social movement due to power levels being seemingly fixed at birth (or at least very early in life). I find this interesting-- in the OG Broly movie, we see the explanation that baby's power levels are observed and in the 2018 Broly movie, its implied birth power levels dictate not just what you're going to do, but how valuable you are and if you're even worth keeping on the planet.

I think the best exploration of this can be in Tarble. Despite the dubiousness of his canonicity, I find it particularly insightful that even a prince was not given the chance to be cultivated into a power house but rather nigh instantly abandoned due to two perceived faults in the classifications of merit:

No born caliber (low or untapped PL)

No capability (implied gentle spirit)

I think it also goes to show that the higher up you go in the society, the more a low PL matters to the merit of who the child is associated with. We can get more into this in the social hierarchy part but compare Tarble's position and fate with, let's say, Gine. Very different-- but the common thing is that the traits of merit are not exhibited to societal standards, garnering a societal ruling of less value, paid in either exiling or low-level societal jobs.

So, tangent aside, let's break this down in the last two categories of my aforementioned word soup of Saiyan political structure.

V. Militarism

Y'all could see this one coming. Militarism is classically defined as "the belief or the desire of a government or a people that a state should maintain a strong military capability and to use it aggressively to expand national interests and/or values." In political science (polsci), this extends into a school of thought called Realism, establishing the "security dilemma". While I do not think the full extent of this sketch of realism 100% applies to Saiyan political composition, I think it matters. Realism is defined by a few characteristics: the world is inherently anarchic, state actors are the main actors, and the security dilemma. The security dilemma asserts that a state must continue to bolster, improve, and better its militaristic prowess and power projection to defend itself and assert its own power as other states assumedly do/feel the same. Sound familiar? Security dilemma literally got the Saiyans slaughtered. Toriyama somehow managed to put the inklings of realism in an anime about a monkey boy who punches things. Anyways.

Saiyan societal structure is ALL ABOUT your place in the MILITARY, both in respects to the internal/domestic and to the foreign/Freeza employment. Let's focus on the domestic for a moment. The Saiyan Armed Forces is spearheaded by the House of Vegeta, maintained as a separate but maintained branch of the FF. The initial description of ranks were "Elites" and "low-class", showing merit assessed structure. It is a seemingly compulsory army, with some form of required service and with no retirement save for types of dishonorable discharges (example: Gine or...dying). The army is the backbone of Saiyan society, functioning on multiple levels of society and with a great menagerie of apparatuses for conducting operations. The army is dedicated to accumulation of resources, no matter the position. This is where the security dilemma assembles itself in the sketch of the army -- its entire purpose is to Saiyan bolstering (until it is commandeered by the CF/FF). The accumulation of planets, races, trade routes, resources (foodstuffs, raw goods, etc.) is the main goal of the army and the main identity-giver of any soldier. They also practice realism in that the army inherently treats ANY opposition as inherently anti-Saiyan (anarchic) and works on behalf of the state solely (state actors). I don't have too much to really say about the military given its pretty self explanatory nature. I think it's a perfect microcosm of the meritocracy and...omg...VASSAL STATE IS BACK!!!! GOSH THE ARMY IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF VASSAL/EMPIRE PATRONAGE.

As defined earlier, the vassal is subjected to the empire with "foreign affairs". The Saiyan army is its biggest hand in the international galactic arena, a force to be reckoned with and a force that is KNOWN for its impartialness in imperial conquest. The commandeering of a nation's foreign muscle is the perfect move for a vassal-owning and -employing empire. The control of the army is the swiftest, most effective move to undermine the Saiyan monarchy, society, and cultural values as the military is, was, and continues to be the Saiyan's "everything". By absorbing the army, the Cold Army/Freeza Force effectively paralyzed the Saiyans, making them MORE than beholden to the empire in that by controlling their strongest apparatus of control, the average Saiyan can do nothing without the FF. Another interesting note (that is a small tangent)-- it's fascinating how the CA/FF manages surveillance given the vastness of space and the hostile/temperamental nature of the Saiyans and their warlike inclination: the Scouters. The establishment that the Scouters LISTEN is so so so smart for a despot empire to put into place! It's very 1984 and establishes some control on the... drum roll please...next section!

Everything in this point is a little more out of my amateur "expertise" as it deals more with sociological domestic policy than military/IR so, it'll probably make less sense.

VI. Rigid, hierarchical social cohesion philosophy

Saiyan social structure is given to us very clearly, by multiple sources, and it seems to be handled with quite the lot of animosity. Social cohesion is "the strength of relationships and the sense of solidarity among members of a community" and is often identifiable by a community's social capital. Social capital is the basic trust, foundation, and interactions within a society permitting it to function. Social cohesion is upheld by the following facets: a sense of belonging, social relations, and an orientation towards the common good. The question now becomes -- Grace, if you're trying to say Saiyans have social cohesion, how can that coexist with animosity and competitive merit? Great question. I would like to posit that Saiyan social cohesion relies on this push-pull of merit, competition, and the pride of a conditional brotherhood rather than the cut and dry, earthly expectations of social cohesion. Let's walk through these real quick! (I must avoid making this another 2k words long). Sense of belonging: Saiyan's are described by Paragus in Broly 2018 as generally untrustworthy. They are backstabbing, power-hungry, violent cages of people. Yet, Saiyan pride (and the merit of it, see the follow through?) is what ties them all together. The sense of belonging perhaps doesn't come from actual, well-cultivated cohesion but rather their species identity in BEING a Saiyan, not BEING IN COMMUNITY. I have a lot of thoughts about how Saiyans are more tribal beings than they'd admit but that's another essay that cannot be tacked onto this one. We much stay focused, brothers. Social relations: Relationships and familial ties do exist in Saiyan society, though they don't seem to manifest in an exact one-to-one way as per Earth standards. I, as per earlier, argued there is power in the blood line and I think that rings true throughout the general society. Looking at how Goku is more often referred to as "Bardock's son" over anything else or how Vegeta is a seemingly patrilineal name, I'm going to make the leap that paternal line determines a lot of social relationships. They are maintained by fatherhood, power levels (a low enough PL can result in the bloodline 'dying', cause of death: disgrace), and a militaristic aspect of brotherhood over blood in most occasions. Orientation towards the common good: Don't let "common good" distract you- a common good can be anything the society agrees is good. So, what do Saiyans conclude as good? Conquest, war/conflict, victory, kill counts, strength, power of the people, power of the Saiyan, power in general. This is once again where merit-competition and cohesion interact- yes, one would want to ascend ranks, to claim victories, to pursue power, but can one do that alone all the time? Possibly. Vegeta sure does think so, but he seems to only act on this value when Nappa becomes useless to him. Use is a common good, purpose is a common good. Your fellow brother, your fellow warrior, etc. has purpose when the two of you can bring forth Saiyan glory. It's a temporary arrangement but one nonetheless.

All of these things though are maintained by societal structure. It is the rigid social hierarchy that encourages social cohesion and the subversive method of turning animosity into brotherhood and vice versa given the need at the time. The distance of the monarch, a seemingly untouchable governor, seems to imply also that these societal structures are upheld by the populous but made 'perfected' by the monarchy. A monarchy that wants to maintain power will cause controlled discord within its own state so that any transmission of power seems either 1. Improbable/dangerous (highly likely due to FF occupation) 2. Not needed because the leader provides some type of stability. I could argue that the social cohesion of Saiyans relies on a strange form of Diversionary War Theory. Diversionary Way Theory states that "unpopular leaders generate foreign policy crises to both divert the public's attention away from the discontent with their rule and bolster their political fortunes through a rally around the flag effect." I believe this is more of a...Diversionary Social Theory. With the society so folded in on itself for merit and competition, the king can maintain power for his line alone by altering it, looking at different social conflicts (low PLs, Frieza Force encroachment, etc.) rather than surrender powers. Sounds corrupt. I know. That leads me to my final facet of Saiyan political structure.

A little more back into my expertise, briefly.

VII. Corruption

I am sure you all knew I'd get to this to some extent. To say the Saiyans are void of corruption would be a fool's statement. I think there are two main forms of corruption seen in Saiyan society.

Despot maintenance of power

Society-induced and maintained methods of population/defection culling

Despot maintenance of power

A despot is an often tyrannical leader with a monopoly on power. Despotism is the "form of government in which a single entity rules with absolute power. Normally, that entity is an individual, the despot, but societies which limit respect and power to specific groups have also been called despotic." In writing this, I've realized that the Saiyans are equally despotic but geez I am too far into this to add ANOTHER section so a definition is all you will have to settle for. King Vegeta is a an active despot. I don't think this is a dramatic statement. He is shown to remove opposition, going to the lengths of infanticide and murder to do so. He antagonizes his specialists who dare question the legitimacy/efficacy of his lineage. He makes deadly errors in foreign policy by stationing snipers at Frieza at the risk (and expense) of their lives. He targets his own son and banishes him as an exile, completely intended to kill him in the long run. King Vegeta is losing 0-2 in trying to not kill babies/kids. I don't have much else on this subsection due to its pretty straightforward nature and political gain. In both Broly movies albeit for...weirdly different reasons...the King argues that the murder of Broly (and subsequently Paragus) is justified because it 1) ensures the social and political status quo, 2) muddles the waters on proving or accusing Vegeta's house in intending to not relinquish power even on correct merit values, and 3) shows how he, in general, is unwilling to admit defeat and hold onto power.

2. Society-induced and maintained methods of population/defection culling

This is touched on briefly in the aforementioned social cohesion section. Culling is the method of killing the population of a wild animal to preserve its maintainability. Saiyans practice this with different principles at its core; I believe it is simply an unsaid, dark reality for the majority of the media due to its reach and aimed audience. However, where we do see glimpses of infanticide with the goal to protect the purity of strength in Saiyan numbers. Goku's PL is a concern. Him being a runt or being behind on schedule seems to be an issue, even if minimally stated. Broly's PL is a threat. Tarble is a royal liability. All of these seem to be justifiable reasons to straight up KILL them (or at least exile them from the population with an understood mortality rate). Now, Raditz seems to be an exception but I'll argue that he serves as a necessary low-PL canon fodder for more powerful members society. That is a more social cohesion point that I could've included but my lanta guys this thing is long enough. The society itself seems to maintain this principle - whether you HC there being a governmental agency observing infants power levels as the OG Broly movie would imply (which is interesting in and of itself looking at it through a bureaucratic apparatus lens). Monarchy perfects, society maintains in striving for that perfection due to merit competition, value of the patrilineal line, and a cohesive idea of Saiyan pride on a general societal level.

VIII. Conclusion

The Saiyans are a monarchical + despotic meritocracy with values of militarism and rigid, hierarchical social cohesion philosophy.

I hope now that we've reached the end, this contributes something of at least SOME merit to the discussions and long text-posts I've been seeing floating around DB tumblr recently. I think smashing my degree and Dragon Ball together might've killed all my braincells but at least I can exhibit to my professor that I understand a majority of what I've been putting thousands of dollars to to learn.

I am not responsible for any typos or misspelling; y'all figure it out.

Takes the heaviest breath ever. I'm going to stop here-- it is finals season and I have a test over US foreign policy tomorrow. Yap session: OVER.

PLEASE INTERACT WITH THIS DB OVERTHINKERS PLEASE.

[nightsetter]

Aubrey Plaza movie & show reviews

i know i'm not the only one obsessed with aubrey rn so i thought i'd rank some of her stuff that i've seen and indicate whether her character is gay or not to help people decide what to watch. i'll keep adding to it and hope others will add their recommendations too!!

starting with the most recent:

Agatha All Along (2024 series) - Gay - 10/10 obviously it's why we're all here haha.

Megalopolis (2024 film) - Not gay - worst movie i've ever seen in my life lmao. however you get the incomparable experience of watching a bitchy blonde aubrey plaza sit on a dude's face so. also all her outfits are incredible??? 0/10 don't bother watching, aubrey is only in a few scenes so just skip around to find those.

Emily the Criminal (2022 film) - Not gay - 10/10 HIGHLY recommend my personal favorite so far!!! Aubrey co-produced and she plays the main character. when i tell you this woman had me ACTINGG UPPPPPP in this sweet mother of all that is holy- she looks so good in every scene and it's genuinely great start to finish.

Spin Me Round (2022 film) - Gay - ok so this movie is batshit but there's a truly incredible makeout scene with alison brie's character... aubrey is only there for like 1/3 of the movie but she steals every scene and looks soooo good in it, amazing costume design. i'll give it a 6/10 for that and her chemistry with alison.

The White Lotus (2021-ongoing series) - Not gay - aubrey stars in season 2, which you can jump right into if you want because each season is a stand-alone story. i enjoyed s1 as a satire about different types of social privilege, s2 was way less interesting and i found myself just waiting for the next time aubrey was on screen lol. but she's amazing in a dramatic role and wears so many bikinis lord forgive meee- 7/10 overall.

Happiest Season (2020 film) - Gay - everyone has seen this, but aubrey plaza and kristen stewart in the same movie is WAY too powerful i think i blacked out at one point. 9/10 minus one for the boring ending

Black Bear (2020 film) - Not gay - another one that she co-produced and starred in. ill be honest it was too straight for me to really enjoy lmao. its a meta dive into the indie film industry that went over my head at times but it's thought-provoking and clearly very personal to aubrey's life and career, especially how she works so closely with her husband. she is insanely insanely hot in it and kills the role so ill give it a 6/10.

An Evening With Beverly Luff Linn (2018 film) - Not gay - i dont even know what to say about this one dlkjfdl. 1/10 aubrey is the only good part.

The Little Hours (2017 film) - Gay - bro this one is a RIDE... aubrey plaza as a crazy heretical nun is one of the funniest things i've ever seen. she co-produced and stars in it again with alison brie. hilarious movie for its target audience (me), aubrey kisses 2 women and there's one scene in particular that uhh 🥵 well. no sorry i mustn't say. 10/10 movie (in my very subjective opinion loll). tw for sexual assault.

Ingrid Goes West (2017 film) - Not gay - she co-produced and stars in this opposite elizabeth olsen. aubrey is always at home playing freakish characters and the movie is pretty funny and interesting. i was disappointed by the glaring lack of gay subtext haha but ill give it a 7/10. tw for attempted suicide.

Addicted to Fresno (2015 film) - Gay - aubrey plays the love interest to natasha lyonne's character in this. she's only in a handful of scenes and their chemistry wasnt great imo. it has a happy ending though and it's fun and heartwarming, there's one cute kiss at the end. plus sweaty gym clothes 😶 i'll give it a 5/10.

Parks and Recreation (2009-2015 series) - Not gay - this is the one she's famous for but for anyone who hasn't seen it, she gets a decent amount of screen time in an ensemble cast playing an adorably chaotic intern. 8/10 recommend if you're looking for a half hour sitcom, it's a good time :)

i hope this is helpful to someone and please add more reviews if you'd like!

[me-paina]

AO3 Recommendations Part 2

Previous recommendations - Part 1

Next - Part 3

Hey so, I haven't done this in a long while but I wanna recommend some AO3 fics that I have read and loved these past few years. I'll put a limit because I can go on and on, so 12 fics per fandom. (multifandom person >:))

(Oldest to newest bookmarks of mine)

UNDERTALE -

1. Because I Trust You by WrittenKinzy18 (Complete)

(I love all of their fics! you should read the Winged Multiverse series)

2. Soulless by ItzZaira (Complete)

(ItzZaira fics are always amazing no matter what fandom!)

3. Silent Stars by fifi11 (Hasn't updated - 2022) :((

(This is a sad one guys, so, buckle up.)

4. My Fault by Keelynoelle (Complete)

(I read this a long time ago but I know there was some good brother bonding moments and Grillby being amazing (made me emotional))

5. From Murder to Dust by Clichely (Complete)

(Really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really dark. Good one though)

6. Steel and Stripes by Lady Quo  (Hasn't updated - 2021) :(((

(This is just adorable. ¡Tiny sans alert! Older papyrus!)

7. Fatigue by duckydotducky (Hasn't updated - 2021) :(((

(Monsters are really untreated fairly, at least one human is nice. )

8. An Err in Communication by TheVoidIsMyHome (Complete)

(Mute Error. Literally love this concept.)

9. Inquisitive by Another_thing (Hasn't updated - 2020) :((((

(You don't know how much I love FGOD Error, I go crazy for it. Why is Nightmare's gang so wholesome, I swear, I love them so much)

10. ZombieTale by Kamisori (On going)

(I literally can't describe how amazing this fic is. This has helped me get through so much over the years. Thank you for making this amazing fic!)

11. Serif One by samlysam (Complete)

(Sans, and Papyrus, are going through so much There are a lot of fics where Gaster is bad but it still hurts. I'm glad Red, Alphys, Undyne, Edge and Miss Toriel were there for them.)

12. Scenic Our House by grubbin (On going)

(If you don't say Snowy is the best character ever, then I'm not being your friend. I love this rendition of the machine bringing skeletons here.)

ROTTMNT -

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT)

1. The wrong side of the portal by ItzZaira (On going)

(See I told you they are good at writing. This is just so heartbreaking for Leo (2018) but don't worry I swear it gets better.)

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT)

2. Stranger Danger by Balkanbitch (On going)

(The Mikey's switched places. I think it's good for Mikey (2012) to have a break and be in the ROTTMNT universe. Not so sure about Mikey (2018) though, I mean he could help the others and make them act to be better family, but on the other hand, the krang is still here, and as we have seen, it can cause a lot of PTSD and other issues.)

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT)

3. Dagger From the Mirror by TotallyNotASecretAO3Account (Complete)

(Dagger from the Mirror is dark, hahaha, but Stranger in the Mirror the sequel of it (you should read it too) is a lot darker and also gets better (eventually))

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT)

4. Presumed Dead by Minor_Inconvenience23 (Hasn't updated - 2023) :(

(The 2012 gang is so caring! I love Leo angst if you couldn't tell.)

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT)

5. Displaced by spiromachia (Hasn't updated - 2023) :(

(PB & J duo is amazing. I love this so much.)

(ROTTMNT)

6. Power Up by pickledcarrotsandradish (On going)

(Leo angst again. This is just sad. new power up and it's to heal or rather take the pain away and give it do himself. :( he is just so sacrificial.)

(ROTTMNT)

7. Fading Memories by HellsTrojanHorse (Complete)

( This reminds me too much of when my grandpa passed. it's been 2 years. This fic made me cry. Their writing style is so beautiful. The way they write, and show their emotions in the words are just perfect. This fan-fic just reminded me that I'm not alone in feeling this grief. )

(ROTTMNT/12TMNT/03TMNT/87TMNT)

8. A Mixed Bag by GreatlyBlessed (Hasn't updated - 2023) :(

(All of the turtle's mixed together to find away out and find each other :3)

(ROTTMNT)

9. This Was(n't) About You by uncouth_peasant (Complete)

(When Leo decided to tell no one of these self-sacrificial ways… Well this is the result.)

(ROTTMNT/12TMNT/03TMNT/87TMNT)

10. B.E.A.S.T by SkylerSkyhigh (Complete)

(The Rise boys aren't violent, they're just traumatic)

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT)

11. The Purple Conundrum by Donnies_Lady_87 (On going)

(The Purple Turtles swapped, but instead of teenagers, they swapped when they were tots, and now everything is going to be different when they grow up.)

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT/03 TMNT/87 TMNT/Bay TMNT/IDW TMNT/07 TMNT/Last Ronin/19 TMNT/16 game TMNT/19 Power Rangers TMNT)

12. Multiverse of Michelangelo by Srae13 (Complete)

(Mikey, why are you stealing your counterparts?)

MARVEL -

1. Take These Broken Shards (I’m bleeding out) by DaniWib (Complete)

(This is so scary, heartbreaking and terrifying yet Peter Parker & The Avengers bonding is so adorable at the same time. I am so glad that the Avengers are here to help. That shit-bastard, Skip Westcott can go and dig his own grave.)

2. Reintroducing Hope by Fernandidilly_yo (Complete)

(I am actually so shocked... I can't believe how amazing this Fic is. Peter is so precious, and the adventures are such an amazing family.)

3. Child's Play by theoneandonlyfishboy (Complete)

(Why is Marvel fics so emotional.)

4. Somewhere You Can Be Safe by sarcasmismyweapon (Complete)

(Switched, well transported to another timeline... Wow, and these Avengers are much more Domestic.)

5. The Avengers vs The Peter Factor bymidnightwolf2192

(Hasn't updated - 2023) :(

(The Peter factor is working really well!)

6. You Screamed For So Long We Forgot To Care Anymore by GalaxyThreads (Complete)

(I love Loki so much, and seeing him like this breaks my heart! Poor Loki.)

7. Dysfunctional by InkpotGod97 (Complete)

(This is a dysfunctional family.)

8. Not Everyone Deserves a Second Chance byJustRandomStories

(Complete)

(This is so insane, I love this so much, the new avengers are so amazing, and the rogues are honestly dickheads. I love the red three, they are the best.)

9. from your perspective, the world is flat by blueh (Complete)

(Identity reveal for Peter, and to his Academic Decathlon Team. I mean he took it better than I'd expected. the Avengers are so nice! Read the second part as well peter parker's guide on secret identity fails :D)

10. Formalities by Terranpheum (Complete)

(This is an amazing fanfic, oh my gosh! The way everyone just enters Peter's apartment and hangs out with him is amazing. I love the bond everyone has with Peter, it's precious and it's like everyone just adopted him (I mean that's kinda what happened). Towards the end, it got really sad but I'm glad Peter knows he has support now.)

11. The Other Stark by Angst_gremlin (On going)

(Oh... Holy... I have no words. Honestly, This is one of the most heartbreaking stories I have ever read on Ao3. My heart aches for Peter, the sheer neglect he faces daily from everyone is just making me so angry, like WTF do any of you guys have common sense? Do you know what this can do to someone's mindset, A CHILD no less? He doesn't deserve that treatment, hell no one does.)

12. Neon Liar (Hiding in Plain Sight) by isaDanCurtisproduction (Complete)

(This is one of the Best Field Trips to SI fics. There is so much Fluff and a good amount of Angst. Oh, and you can't forget the embarrassment Peter gets. I love this so much, the way the Avengers interact with Peter. My favourite part is when everyone thought he was skipping school. The text messages were priceless!)

Am I crazy... Yes

[scarletlizzard]

Part 2: Remembering

Sessions Series

Pairing: psychiatrist Wanda x female reader

Tags Minors DNI: therapy, paranoia, mentions of mental illness, stalker, little cigarettes and drinking at the end

Masterlist

Current Fall 2018

"How did you sleep?" Wanda asks as she sits in front of you. You shrug, putting your hands in the pocket of your hoodie.

"Not too great. I uh, I sometimes have these dreams. Nightmares really, about that night." You swallow hard and look at the breathtaking woman in front of you. Even casual, in a yellow sweater and jeans, she would always be the most beautiful woman in the room. You blush at your own thoughts.

"You said you don't remember everything about that night?" She asks, you nod. "I believe you're blocking it out, mentally. Suppressing a trauma so hard you can't get yourself to open back up about it."

"So you believe me?"

"Of course, I believe you." Her tone is wavering.

"Every time I have one of these dreams, it reveals little pieces to me," you lean forward. "Maybe I can remember who it was, or more about them."

"But they were wearing a mask?" Wanda asks, making a note. You nod.

"They spoke to me, though.. I'm not sure. Sometimes they feel so close," you sigh, shaking your head. Wanda is still writing.

"And what did your shadow say to you?"

"They told me to run."

Wanda is silent for a moment, her eyes searching yours for something. Did she really believe you? When she had a list of your mental disorders and police forms at her fingertips?

"When your shadow told you to run," She stands and looks to the fire that was burning behind her in the fireplace. Her hands held behind her back. "What did you feel in the moment? What was your first thought?"

"I-I didn't know what to feel. Panic? Fear?" Your cheeks heat up, as you think back to the haunting voice. You were almost too embarrassed to speak. "But after, after the fear sunk in it felt.. exhilarating."

Wanda smiles at the fire, her back still to you. "So in your fear you felt, excitement. For what, why?" She asks thoughtfully, and you're thankful she still had her back to you.

You had thought about this a long time, every day. Why? "My life is the same, every day. The routines, the job, the same bottle of wine. Everything. You know I used to paint?" You ask Wanda. She turns to look at you.

"Really?" She asks with a smile, sitting back down.

"I had some work in an art gallery actually, in the city. Back when I felt.. more alive," you sigh again, looking into her emerald eyes.

"What made you stop?"

"My mom got sick, I had to take care of her. Then she died and I moved here and.. things were never the same."

"Your OCD intensified, essentially trapping yourself in your daily routines."

"That's how it feels, yes," you reply with a nod. Wanda reaches her hand out to rest on your knee. Your skin ignites under her touch.

"We'll bring you back," Wandas words are sure, you find yourself resting your hand on top of hers.

***

Summer 2017

You ran throughout your house, footsteps following close behind you. Before you can close the door to your bedroom, a strong hand reaches out, hitting the wood hard and swinging it wide open. You fall to the ground, heart racing, chest moving rapidly as you crawl backwards. Your shadow steps closer, taking 4 heavy steps towards you.

Another head tilt down at you, examining you. Behind the mask, under the hood, red strands of hair peak out.

***

Current Fall 2018

You stared at the brunette in front of you, a playful glint in her eye. "What?" She asks, leaning forward.

It had been a couple of weeks since your sessions with Wanda had started. Your anxiety had taken a backseat, and the compulsive thoughts in your head were easing. The two of you had even been flirting back and forth even, lingering stares and touches.

Wanda knew it was unprofessional. You knew it wasn't right. But neither of you couldn't help it. Each time she touched you, you felt your skin ignite. Each crooked smile ran up your spine with a shiver of pleasure. You look at her hands and count 4 rings between the two of them.

"Nothing, I really shouldn't say," you chuckle to yourself and sit back against the couch. Wanda grins, twirling one of the rings on her finger.

"No point in being shy now, Y/N. We practically know each others whole lives at this point," She says casually and mirrors you, leaning back in her chair. You think about her words.

"Actually, I don't know much about you, Wanda. I mean, I know some details, but you seem to have the upper hand."

She chuckles and lifts out a hand as if offering to you, "Ask away."

"Where are you from? I notice on some of your words, there's an accent." There's a blush on your face as you think of the way she says your name, her tongue sharp.

"Ah, you caught that, huh? I was born in Sokovia. I've lived here most of my life, though, the American accent kind of snuck in," Wanda thinks fondly of her home, it makes you smile.

"Do you visit often?"

"Not as much as I'd like. Last year, I had to go home for quite a while to help out my brother, Pietro. He got himself into some trouble," Wanda sighs and shakes her head. "We're twins," she smiles.

"Twins! Wow, I'd love to see a picture of the two of you sometime." You think of Wanda being a twin, not being able to imagine he was anything like her. She nods and crosses her legs.

"I'll see if I can find one for your next session," She says with a smile. You nod and smile back politelty.

"What did you do before all this?" You ask her and point to the room around you.

"I lived in the city for a while, actually. But I found something more... worthwhile here." Wanda grins, goosebumps on your arm arise.

There's a comfortable silence, and the fire behind her crackles softly.

"Tell me more about your art," Wanda says, a glimmer in her eye and a warm smile on her face.

"I wasn't good, by any means. But I wasn't bad. I was creative, if anything," you laugh as you think back to your paintings. "There is one hung still, I think, at the gallery I told you about. It's my favorite one. My last one."

"What was it?"

You find yourself laughing hysterically as you think of the painting, leaving Wanda confused. She leans forward to rest a hand on your knee.

You start to sob at her touch.

You think of the large painting that hangs in a gallery. People passing by not realizing it would foreshadow your own current state.

"It's of a beautiful woman.." You speak between cries.

"A woman running from her own shadow."

***

Summer 2017

"What do you want from me? Just leave me alone!" You shout at the figure standing above you, watching as they shake their head.

The shadow kneels down, a gloved hand reaching up to brush their thumb across your lips. Their eyes are hidden behind the white faceless mask, yet you can feel their gaze burning into you.

A spark of adrenaline and excitement fill your own.

"Game on," your shadow says.

***

Current Winter 2018

You awoke quickly in sweat covered sheets, thunder rumbling from outside. You rub your groggy eyes and reach for the nightstand to flick on the lamp. Your hand reaches for the notebook and pen you kept for this reason, and you began writing down your dream.

They were happening more frequently now. The details are becoming clearer each time. You had never felt so close. You were closing in on your shadow.

Yet, everything felt wrong. There was something you were missing. You read and re read the journal the rest of the night.

"How are things going with Wanda?" Natasha asks over lunch. She had invited you out today, hoping to hear some good news.

"Pretty great, actually," you smile at her, not telling her that you were still chasing your shadow. "I've actually started painting again." You look outside the window of the Cafe, seeing snow begin to fall.

"Have you really?" Natasha says in disbelief, but a smile on her face. "I knew this would be good for you! Almost two months and look at the progress you've made.." She beams at you, a guilty feeling rising inside of you.

"I'm having my Christmas party early this year, I'm going to spend actual Christmas at Yelenas this year. You'll be able to come, right?"

"Of course, I wouldn't miss it," you smile, counting 4 snowflakes land on the window.

As you walk home from lunch, the snow beneath your feet crunches with every step. You wrap your arms around yourself, wishing you had worn a warmer jacket, when suddenly you're aware of another set of steps from behind you.

You freeze, standing still. You inhale deeply, then exhale, and slowly turn around... to nothing. Empty air besides the light snow that stuck to the ground below.

Your hand reaches for your phone, dialing Wandas number. "Hello?" She answers on the 4th ring.

"Wanda.. can I come see you?"

"Do you need me to meet you somewhere?"

You look around, still seeing no one.

"No, I'll come to you."

You finish the walk home and grab your notebook and a warmer jacket before driving over to Wandas. When you get there, she's standing on the porch waving to you.

"Y/N, is everything okay?" She asks worridly, putting her arm around you and leading you into the warmth of her home. Wanda gets a fire going and watches as you sit on the floor in front of it. Instead of questioning it, she sits next to you, her warm body pressed next to you.

"What if it isn't real?" You finally admit, staring into the red and orange flames.

"What if what isn't real?" Wanda asks, looking at the notebook you clutched to your chest.

"My shadow," you whisper, feeling Wandas hand on your back. "You told me you believed me.. what do you believe?"

There is a silence between the two of you while Wanda sighs. She knew you would eventually ask this question.

"I believe that the mind is an extremely powerful thing. It's capable of persuasion and delusions. It can hide the truth from you.." she trails off, tears fall from your eyes.

She didn't believe your shadow was real.

"You believe... that I believe it's real. Right?" You ask and turn to her. Wanda nods slowly.

All this time spent chasing and running, you were tired. How many innocent people would have to get hurt before you gave up? How many more lies would you have to tell yourself and others?

You held out the notebook to Wanda. Her fingers brush against yours as she takes it from you and opens it up.

"My dreams, of a faceless shadow. That's all it is anymore. I'm done chasing it."

The rest of November passes quickly into December. You were back to your routine, ignoring the paranoid delusions of your mind. You continued your sessions with Wanda, trying to figure out why you had imagined up this person. You took medication. You still locked all the doors and windows. You painted. You dreamed.

***

Summer 2017

When the words came out of your shadows' mouth, you lift your leg, kicking them hard in the stomach and onto their back. You're able to run past them into the hallway, but you're quickly knocked down. Your shadow climbs on top of you, pinning your hands to the floor and straddling your stomach.

The two of you breathe heavily, adrenaline coursing your veins. "Such a pretty little mouse.." The shadow whispers.

***

Winter 2018

The party has long started by the time you walk in, a bottle of rum in your hand. The house is filled with familiar and unfamiliar faces. People in ugly Christmas sweaters, some in just red or green. You look for Natasha and wish her a Happy Christmas, along with a hug.

"I brought rum," you smile, holding up the bottle.

"Yes! Ugh, you know this is my favorite thank you," she laughs and hugs you again, clearly has already had a few. You decide to catch up with her, taking a few shots and pouring a cup of rum. After a while, the cup is empty, and you find yourself sweating in the heated house, filled with warm bodies.

"I'm gonna step outside," you say to Natasha, who is all but preoccupied with the girl in her lap.

You step out front, sighing in relief as the frigid air hits your skin.

"Alright, there?" A voice sounds, you turn to see Wanda standing in the driveway, leaning against her car. "Nasty habit, I know. I usually only smoke when I drink." She holds up the cigarette, letting out a puff of smoke.

You walk over, soaking in her appearance. "I'm alright.. alcohol goes straight to my head," You chuckle and stand in front of her. The alcohol also boldening you to reach out and take the cigarette from her, putting it between your lips. Wanda watches with playful eyes, putting a hand in her pocket. You take a slow drag, blowing into the air between you and handing it back to her.

Wanda wets her lips, shaking her head as she takes it back from you. "You're something else, you know that?" She says in a husky voice. You can smell a hint of vodka and mint coming from her as she leans closer. Your hands rest on her chest, tugging on her jacket. A familiar excitement swells in your chest.

The cigarette is tossed into the wet snow, her hands moving to wrap around your lower back. "I'm probably crazy," you whisper to her, a smirk on your face. Wanda chuckles and leans closer.

"I can deal with crazy," She whispers back, taking your bottom lip in between her teeth. Your blood runs hot, and you let out a small moan at the feeling. Wanda wastes no time connecting her lips to yours, both of you in familiar territory as your tongues sloppily twist together. Her grip is stronger than you remember as she pulls you against her chest.

"Your place?" You mumble into the kiss, not wanting to fully part. Wands hums and continues to kiss you. You feel her lips pull up into another crooked smile.

"Let's go," Wanda says after she finally pulls herself away from your lips, her green eyes darker than you had ever seen them before.

Goosebumps cover your skin. Everything in your body tells you to run. The feeling of your shadow was looming over the two of you.

You look to the house, then to the gorgeous brunette in front of you. There was no doubt in your mind that you would be going home with her.

[catras-breakup-song]

so we all hate that a live-action reboot of she-ra has been announced (at least on twitter), but i think there's a misconception going around that the 2018 show will have anything to do with it and that's not true. therefore, absolutely nothing that comes out of it will be canon to the version that we care about.

DreamWorks recently produced the Netflix animated series “She-Ra and the Princesses of Power.” However, the live-action version will be a new, standalone story and will not be connected to the animated show.

i've seen various speculations that all the characters will be white, skinny, straight, and cis. that's honestly very likely considering nate stevenson won't be involved in the production, and i especially have absolutely no interest if that's the case. however, it would (probably) be wrong to claim it's erasure of oppressed minorities because that's exactly how they were back in the 80s, which is the source material being used again. it's best to think of the original cartoon and the latest cartoon as featuring entirely different characters from each other:

i'm posting this because i don't want anyone to be disappointed by who the actresses & actors are based on expectations & demands that we should know won't be met. i strongly disagree with potentially choosing to reboot the original show instead of the current one, because those designs are cardboard cutouts made to sell toys and not up-to-date, as well as the fact that the newer characters are much more complex and compelling. that being said, the article says the franchise will be associated with neither, so it could really end up being for better or for worse (i highly doubt it will be as good as SPOP 2018 though). unfortunately, we can't change anything.

my suggestion is just to ignore any news about it if things start to look unsatisfactory and not watch once it eventually releases. it doesn't have to affect the fandom at all. do with this information whatever you will and have a nice timezone.

hopefully this post ages poorly and the upcoming live-action will be decent, even if it's different!