#I don't even believe in it sometimes

[trust-and-jump]

REGARDING MY REVERSE ROBINS TIM: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM?

Tim: "Why not?"

Okay, my Tim is still learning

Adding to this post (and exactly "Tim was the little psycho just like many young children that you hate are") , I'd like to say that Tim being a very cynical and cold person before he re-joins the Bats and Birds is not just a result of him being dunked in a Lazarus Pit or Ra's al Ghul's attention. It's in the other circumstances: he didn't exactly mature, he didn't learn fully to feel what many other people start to feel long before 14 years. And while he, in fact, did suffer, died and all, it doesn't help, you know? It doesn't actually teach you emotions, but it did make him think that: so I'm mature now, I've seen some shit, it makes me a better judge, I know better and all that.

like. If I got separated from my family before I started to feel for real, before I started to care about people, I would be like him. Only he's deadlier and has dangerous skills, because Batman growing little crime fighters (criminals) in his luxurious garden is something you should be scared of.

so. you would ask: "how can he be the known League Assasin and actually Ra's Herald/Harbinger and not to be mature? how can he be ROBIN/SHRIKE person and not to be mature? you just confuse emotional maturity with following your standards!"

I'll answer: he can. if the last time I wanted to kill a person (and it didn't even matter which person, even a family member, even my mother, or my sister; I had no borders at all and the only thing between me and some horrific crimes was just me not wanting to risk a punishment or literal laziness; still, I did many unnecessary but bad things, just like many teens did) I was older than him when he died, and the same age when he started in the League... he can.

He didn't break the borders. He just didn't ever get them.

and it's important, for me. he didn't even process his parents' deaths (well, considering he died soon after his father did...). Even though he feels he misses them a lot, it just didn't have any impact on how he sees relationships and family. At all.

LOOK.

Again: don't get me wrong, both me and my Tim did feel emotions, had empathy (and it's INFURIATING to think now about how I just KNEW how feels beating someone up or what some person was thinking about when did something, but NOT knowing why someone would worry about me (didn't know WHAT worry means, WHAT is it, "WHY all the people surrounding me FEEL something I can't even UNDERSTAND, WHY the other people, even all my age, are so different, WHAT am I missing, AM I just smarter, AM I just the only one who has the right to do something that is not socially accepted? Are they just consumed by society standards? What, really, should stop me from killing someone, or r*ping someone, or something else, except the fact that I just don't always want to do something and therefore it's not worth the risk? Is there anything I can't do when I really want to? Why is stealing bad? Why do people feel compassion? Why am I wrong if I don't feel the same things other do?"), why does the worry become anger, or that love and consern for someone exist outside of weird conversations some people have - I don't mean romantically, because these days I still don't feel like romantical things exist yet) and all. Got angry when saw group of teens torturing a kitten. Felt proud of some accomplishments. Embarrassed when something didn't go right in public. Playing with other kids. Feeling joy, and fear, and (no sadness. just the feeling something's missing. maybe just sadness transforming to something else too quickly to be recognised), pityness, wanting to avenge, and other things.

Not emotionless, obviously.

Just not feeling anything that actually matters when it comes to your relationships with people. When you keep people around you just because you're used to them being there, talking to you, because they're the part of your surroundings. Not feeling anything about them for real. Not even missing them the way you're supposed to, when far away for long (only missing places or actions or company or missing that you don't have to build new relationships). But knowing that if you want to change this status quo it's way too easy to do it. Because everyone once thought it, even if they don't remember it: it's so damn easy to do wrong, WHY keep people worry about doing it if it's so easy to do it?

It IS childish, in a bad way. (And any person can regress to this, under the right circumstances). And while I snapped out of it when I turned, I don't know, 16 or 17 maybe, (this was looong overdue, but I'm glad, because I was old enough to actually realise how my mind, my view, my feelings had changed), like so many others did,... some people--- didn't.

And my Tim didn't, too.

So by the time he's lucid again and not shocked or overwhelmed, after waking up, reanimated, talking to Ra's, being in the League, it's just a question of "Why not?"

It's not like he has some special kind of bond with Gotham. Why not to accept getting some new skills, why not to accept some new knowledge, why not to accept some interesting work while (and HERE al Ghul's whisperings are) helping the organization lead by a cool, charismatic person who is ancient enough to see what world should be and how to achieve that? It's not like Tim cares about the world, though (most of people don't). It's just one of the points why he should accept all of this. So he does.

And it's not even a tough choice. Not even driven by anger or something.

Just freedom.

[mythicalcoolkid]

You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side

[teaboot]

you're so like. inspiring. or i wish i could be inspired. you reblog that post with the blue critter and you're like "im glad i was born on this planet". how do i manage to get that mindset. how do i manage to not want the pain to stop at any cost and enjoy what's still possible to enjoy

It's my first time here and I'm never coming back

[egophiliac]

LEON

LEON YOUR EYEBALLS

[ruporas]

asking and receiving (bonus below readmore)

[ID: A black and white, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood. In the first panel is a close up of Wolfwood's mouth as he says, "Vash". Accompanying it is a close up shot of Vash's eye, widen and cheeks flushed. Wolfwood presses a knee against the open space between Vash's legs and says, "Tell me everything you want from me." Wolfwood's face is equally as flushed. He continues to say, "I'll give it to you. Everything." As he talks, a wide shot shows the both of them in white space. Vash is sitting, leaning a little back with both hands pressed against the surface he's sitting on. Wolfwood is in his white dress shirt, stripped of the blazer. He's still leaning in with one knee in between Vash's spread legs, his right hand touching Vash's lips and his left hand behind his back.

The shot closes in on Vash's mouth and Wolfwood's hand against it, pressing down on the lower lip as he says, "You have to ask though. Go on." His hand moves down to Vash's chin, gently holding it. With a shy and uncertain expression, Vash hesitantly asks, "Um... K... Kiss... Please?" Wolfwood, without wasting a second, leans in and kisses him and indulges by pressing deeper, eliciting a small noise of surprise from Vash.

Wolfwood moves away from Vash first and with a smile, asks, "What else?" Vash tugs on Wolfwood's left sleeve, wordlessly budging Wolfwood to give him his hand that was still behind his back. In the next panel, Vash utters, "Hold me..?" He's holding Wolfwood's left hand with his own while his right hand is reaching for his waist. Wolfwood complies, moving his left hand to Vash's shoulder and his right hand continues to touch Vash's cheek. Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"

More comfortable now, Vash leans in to kiss Wolfwood. Wolfwood catches him immediately, pressing his thumb against Vash's lips to stop him before demanding, "Hey. Ask." Vash looks back in surprise and Wolfwood meets his eye with a quiet, insistent look. They're quiet for a moment before Vash leans in again and curtly requests, "Kiss. Me." Wolfwood says "Good", smiling as he lifts his hand away, and meets Vash's lips. In the next shot, Wolfwood had adjusted his position, sitting on Vash's thigh. The hand that was once on Vash's cheek has moved its way to Vash's nape, pushing away the collar of his jacket with his pinky. His other hand continues to grip on Vash's shoulder. Still kissing, Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"

In the next shot, Vash is starting to turn, moving Wolfwood with him. Vash asks, "Let me on top of you?" Wolfwood says, "Mhm" before asking again, "What else?" The next panel shows a close look of Vash's face. He's looking down, flushed and shy just as he had been at the beginning, but now, more decisive. Vash asks, "Wolfwood... Let me have you..?" A panel of Wolfwood taking Vash's hand into his, pulling it towards his chest. The next panel shows Wolfwood lying down where Vash had laid him. Vash's hand is on Wolfwood's chest, covering the cross of his rosary while Wolfwood's hand lingers against his, loosely pressing Vash's hand in place. He looks up at Vash with a shy smile of his own, flushed cheeks. He says, "All yours."

A panel shows a close up of Vash's tender gaze before he leans down to be closer to Wolfwood. The final shot is a front view of their positions, Vash's face turned away from the viewer; Vash is leaning over Wolfwood who's lying down with his right leg draped over Vash's legs. Wolfwood's left hand holds onto Vash's left arm. With finality, Vash says, "...Mine." End ID]

[ID: A follow up bonus comic in a looser, sketchier style. They're laying comfortably in bed when Vash asks, "What was that earlier?" referecing to the start of the previous comic. Wolfwood glances away and says, "To get you used to it. Asking. And getting what you ask for. Since you're alwasy hesitant about it." Vash's eyes widen, tight lipped. Wolfwood continues, "Knowing you, it'll be a tough habit to break..." When he says this, Vash can't help but laugh, unable to deny it. Wolfwood slowly brings a hand to Vash's cheek and continues to say, "So I'll keep trying -- whatever ways I can... to get it through your thick skull." Vash takes Wolfwood's hand with his, kissing the the palm gently. Wolfwood's eyes soften and holding onto Vash's cheek, he leans in to try for a kiss. Vash says, "Hey..." before stopping Wolfwood's lips with the back of his hand, a smug look on his face, "Ask." Wolfwood's embarrassed and with little irritation, asks, "Really?" Vash smiles, saying, "You're in need of practice too." They pause for a moment, Wolfwood looking contemplatively, before he's leaning in again, asking, "May I please kiss you?" Vash looks him in the eyes and says, "Yes." The comic ends with a "chu", indicating an off-panel kiss. End ID]

[ahsoka-in-a-hood]

I'm instinctively a little wary of anyone who's a little too insistent that the artificial aging is 100% above board and basically the same as aliens with different life cycles. I get that the clone wars did not explore the effect growing up at twice the normal rate might have on a human being, so following that canon is fine, but that doesn't change the fact that the clones are humans, not aliens with a naturally shorter lifespan. The accelerated aging was unequivocally a violence done to them. At best it just means they missed out on having a child hood. At best. If anyone wants to explore other effects it could have had, or play with the fucked up worldbuilding that is right there, good for them.

[rottiens]

Stepmom Yuki has severe breeding kink 😔✊️

she fucks you nice and deep, putting her hands on your belly looking adoringly at the way the cock separates your slippery folds and she would love nothing more than to fill you to the last drop. she in fact, debates whether she would love to cum in your folds or so deep inside you. her thumb moves from your belly button to your clit and strokes it sweetly as she takes the leg above her shoulder and kisses your calf, moving her hips in such a way that she manages to get even deeper.

the idea of her seed inside you, your tits swollen from pregnancy and her lips on your sweet sensitive nipples is what makes her cum silently, calling your name as she bites your skin.

[dollypopup]

look, y'all can all gleeful cancel me for this #unpopular opinion if you want, but even IF Nicola wasn't nominated for the comedy section and it was her and Luke head to head in best drama?

I'd still vote for him

because I genuinely and truly think his acting is INCREDIBLE. and I think he's one of the better actors on Bridgerton full stop. I love the nuance he brings to Colin as a character, I love how he so fully embodies him as a character and that Colin has similarities to him, but is fully different at the same time. Colin does not talk like Luke, walk like Luke, even fidget like Luke. He has his own character beats and yes, sometimes parts of Luke bleed into him, such as with the head tilt, but the voice is different, softer, the movements of Colin as a character are distinct to me, he delivers humor well ('you'd already be dead?') and his decisions for Colin as a character are ICONIC (I'm never forgetting that dress adjustment with specific fingers was all him). Colin had a harder go of it than a lot of leads because his story isn't as loud- he doesn't get a lot of big, dramatic moments to have big dramatic acting, and honestly the show didn't give him a lot of screentime in the first place. But when he does have poignant emotional moments? They feel REAL. He isn't given as much time with the audience as other characters are and he doesn't go for the broad strokes with his acting, so sometimes I think he can get lost in some of the louder acting, but that doesn't negate the fact that he's GOOD. He's a good ass actor. He plays Colin like Colin is an actual person.

And for me? For me, that hits home. Even with truncated time on his own season (yeah, I'm still bitter), he delivers every single time. Anger, betrayal, longing, heartache, silly awkward humor, heat- and he does all of those emotions BELIEVABLY. I watched Luke Newton depict Colin falling in love so beautifully and so realistically, I HAVE NO CHOICE but to give him his flowers. Just because he's not as heavy in the hustle as other actors are (please remember this is a neurodivergent actor with anxiety and dyslexia, mental health is important and it's good he took a break ) doesn't mean he's not a fantastic actor. And if you've ever seen his depiction in The Shape of Things? The man is excellent.

I think Bridgerton has a lot of 'big moves' actors. And that's fine. Many people prefer that. But I prefer the nuanced moments and the softer beats of it all, and I think if the camera had allowed us as an audience a longer glimpse into moments with Colin, we'd all be even more floored. I can watch gifs of his scenes over and over and over again and find something new every time.

So y'all can sit there and accuse others of a 'pity vote' but idgaf. Luke Newton is one of the best actors on that show. And I stand by that. Eat me.

[iwasbored777]

The worst thing Miguel and Jessica did to Gwen wasn't even threatening to send her home if she ever visits Miles, it's forcing her to choose their side during the chase scene and make Miles never want to see her again and once the chase scene ended they kicked her out. That's the kind of evil that the Spot was trying so hard to become.

Edit: just in case you forgot - they knew that prison and dead dad were waiting for her when they send her back home

[gutsandeverything]

sir guy is there any specific way u really like. Studied anatomy. your art is some of the best to me in regards to just Being Good At Flesh if that makes any sense. simpky very good at anatomy and fluid motion with the body… Peter how are u doing that!!!

welllll if we skip the basic answer of "learn how the human body works from anatomy books and draw every bone 3555664 times"..... i think what helped me and made a big difference in how i draw bodies is touching people. or statues if you're shy. touching and learning how the body bends, how muscles contract, how fat travels under skin. embrace the life of the total creep who undresses people with their eyes and also shaves them bald because wow babe. your skull is awesome. i can tell you were rolled around a lot as a baby

[starrcrossrose]

I love Rise Leo so much, if I think too hard about him I'll just start crying

[butchviking]

i hate being a mentally ill adult actually. i hate that there’s always groceries to be bought and housekeeping to do and work in the morning i hate that we have no space to feel it all i hate that we walk around acting normal. there are so many people i know who are clearly deeply unhappy with their lives and we make silly little jokes that allude to it but sometimes i want to grab them by the shoulders and scream ‘i know you are miserable!! we can’t keep living like this!! this is why people break!!’ im sick of this drudgerous apathy i want us all to be dramatic like when we were teenagers i want us to sob together and scream bloody murder at each other and tell each other we want to kill ourselves not as a funny post-ironic joke but because we all feel like that sometimes!! i want us to get fucked up on god knows what til we can’t open our eyes i want us to take care of each other instead of always taking care of ourselves i want us to be vulnerable i want us to hold each others hands in the ambulance!!

[nachosncheezies]

In defense of late-canon x files (including the revivals)

I was thinking about this poll after I commented on it, and I kinda want to be brave and say more.

Short answer to the poll's question before I go any further: If you're a new fan and a sensitive sort who thinks you'll struggle with your blorbos Really Going Through It and you really need a happy ending, I suggest you stop at the end of season 8. Do not pass go, do not look at spoilers. Disregard this post entirely, close the internet, and go look at something that makes you happy. (Also fuck every part of society that characterizes sensitivity as inherently weak and bad and some kind of personal failing, you are valid.)

That said, "quality" as a concept is entirely subjective, and the question of whether or not there's a decline in quality for any story is wholly subjective, too. In the case of x files? I'm not convinced there is a decline. I am going to be upfront that I haven't yet watched past season 8, though I am almost completely spoiled on events after that - and the reason I haven't watched yet is not because of how I know events are going to unfold, but simply because I don't want it to end!!! Ohh, the tension between "I CAN'T WAIT!!!" and "Nooo don't be over D:"

When I first came to txf fandom on tumblr and gradually became spoiled about what happens in late canon though, I was often left uncomfortable and tbh kinda queasy about it. As I said in my comment on the poll, the hate for especially the revival and IWTB, or to a lesser extent even seasons 8 & 9, is very well documented. But! There are other takes to be found here on tumblr if you figure out where to look, and my feelings have changed!

The thing is, I have yet to find myself in any fandom where there isn't a vocal subset of fans who dislike the story after a certain point. I am not joking when I say that no one hates the things they love as passionately as sci-fi and fantasy fans. In my experience, it often hinges on the extent to which a viewer has strong notions on where they would like the characters to end up. In particular with series where shipping is a dominant component for the bulk of a fandom, I have almost universally found that there comes some turning point in the story where "let them be happy you cowards" is the dominant view, and things that compromise the attainment of a degree of romantic stability and/or domesticity are, to many fans, annoying at best and despicable at worst. But! As one tagset on the linked poll said:

and I think for any fandom, that last tag especially is so so so important. (I think that's harder for people watching a weekly series live, bc you have so much time to analyze and speculate and dream before the next breadcrumb drops, but I digress.)

So why am I saying this and how do I apply it to x files? Well, I eventually found that there are also a subset of fans who find redeeming things right up to the very end and actually quite like the whole thing! The things that I had seen people rage and ventpost so much about honestly never quite sounded to me as "out of character" or "untrue to the story" etc as those same ventposts made them sound. And I've discovered I'm not the only one who felt that way. Do I love that the spooky squad had to go through all of those things? No, those poor guys D: Life is hard and they have been through so much trauma. But do those events and their choices make sense to me in light of everything that came before? Yes! And I honestly can't wait to see them fight to overcome those things, breaking, healing, always learning, always growing, always getting better.

So if you're wondering "where does it go wrong"... well, I'm a completionist, as many people who've answered that post are, but also my personal opinion is that I don't think it does go wrong. If you're new and interested in exploring why I've gone from "vaguely queasy" to "excited" about the whole thing, or want to maybe balance out the impressions you're getting about the later seasons before deciding whether or not you want to see the whole thing, I'll put a few blog names in the comments.

Final admission: even once I started feeling a little more confident in the possibility that "actually ok maybe I'm not crazy, maybe this all kind of is in character and does make sense", there was one big plot point that I was NOT looking forward to and I thought I would never be comfortable about. In hindsight, I think my discomfort came from the negative responses being SO seemingly universal that I hadn't stopped to let myself truly consider other possible interpretations on that point. (I mean my initial instinct when I first read about it was, why are we mad about this?? CSM is literally the most unreliable narrator in history???? it's obviously fake news?????? this must be either a fever dream someone's having or it's a misdirection ploy against whatever shadowy forces might still be lurking?????????????? but for whatever reason I guess I had halfway written that off.) Happily, just last month there's a new post-s11 novel out, and although reviews for the book as a whole are mixed, it seems to have laid the groundwork for resolving that plot issue in a way I think most fans would be broadly happy with. If you're interested in being spoiled about that and seeing how, I recommend searching #perihelion on @agent-troi who liveblogged reading it with receipts, scroll back chronological-style to the first post on the subject and see how it unfolded. (And never forget that Dana Katherine Scully is the queen of denial as a coping mechanism lol)

Everyone's mileage will vary. Each person can feel however they want! But for anyone new, I wanted you to know that the very many ventposts you might be seeing are not all there is to this show or its fandom. Some of us love it despite - or even because of - all the things that went "wrong". I think we just don't talk about it as much.

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

[crookedfivefingers]

3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ

link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀

[halipula-aika]

Okay I've seen enough "Christmas should include more existential dread" type posts on my dash to physically need to talk about Heinillä härkien kaukalon and why it is the best hymn ever if you want to feel sad about baby Jesus.

So this epitome of depressing Finnish holiday songs isn't actually Finnish in origin; it's a translation of Entre le bœuf et l’âne gris, a French song from the 16th century. It was adapted into Finnish in 1926. I say adapted instead of translated here, because the Finnish version has an EXTREMELY DIFFERENT vibe.

The first verses are very similar in both French and Finnish. Like, here's the French translated literally:

Between the ox and the grey donkey / Sleeps, sleeps, sleeps the little son

A thousand divine angels, a thousand seraphim / Fly around this great God of love.

And here's the Finnish:

On the hay, in the bulls' trough / Sleeps an innocent Child. The path of a flock of angels / Soon leads to Him / To marvel at the greatest Love

The next two verses are the same shit in both languages. There's "in the arms of Mary/the mother", and then there's "between roses and lillies". The metaphor used for Jesus changes a bit so it rhymes with the verse, and the thousand angels/great love part is always repeated.

And then. The Finnish translation. Pulls the fucking rug from under you.

The French version has two more verses; you've got "Amidst the gentle shepherds / Sleeps, sleeps Jesus who smiles" and "On this beautiful, so solemn day / Sleeps, sleeps, sleeps Emmanuel". Okay, cool, it's five verses of baby jesus. Great.

The Finnish adaptation only has four verses. And I'd like you to imagine what you have read so far with me. Every time I've heard this hymn, it's sung as almost a lullaby. It's about a baby sleeping in his various aspects: an innocent child, the son of God, the Lord of people. Singing those verses as a fragile lullaby makes sense.

And then in the fourth verse, the choir goes all out, the organist gets to flex how loud they can play, and the church echoes as the last verse is sung:

On the cross beside a criminal / Sleeps the purest sacrifice

The path of a flock of angels / Soon leads to Him / To marvel at the greatest Love

Additional fun facts about the Finnish language: the words for "sacrifice" and "victim" are the same, so you could read this as "the purest sacrifice" or "the cleanest victim".

Merry Christmas!