#I don’t want any more time travel or multiverse bullshit

[chvoswxtch]

I finally finished echo so if you’d like to listen to me incoherently ramble about it and my baby maya pls join me below ✨

first off the fact that there were only 5 episodes is fucking CRIMINAL

secondly alaqua cox is quite literally one of the most beautiful human beings I have ever seen

and thirdly I would die for biscuits and billy jack

side note- matt showing up just to be a dick and show off and then dip is so on brand but this isn’t his show and it isn’t about him so that’s the last i’ll talk about him

let’s get into it

not even two minutes into the first episode I was leaking from my eyes, and that happened several times throughout the entire series

the tone of this series reminded me so much of the netflix mcu and after watching echo, I have a lot more hope for future marvel projects that are darker and more gritty

the way this show dealt with themes of grief and generational trauma while also balancing sequences of violence and sprinkles of comedic relief was incredible. nothing felt cheesy or forced, the pacing was a little fast but again we were only given 5 episodes and echo definitely deserved more

the entire quileute tribe being cast is fucking ICONIC

the amount of work that went into making sure the indigenous representation was accurate and presented in a respectful way was very impressive. my father’s side of the family is native american and live in oklahoma and it was just really neat to see something so close to home portrayed in marvel without being over the top or exaggerated

I forgot how much I loved vincent’s version of fisk and getting to see him in the iconic white suit was incredible. i’m also super stoked to see the mayor fisk storyline and how that affects maya

I think they should’ve spent longer exploring how her ancestors echo through her and the healing abilities/powers that seems to grant her. it’s a lot different from her “power” in the comics and I honestly think it’s a more interesting concept and I would love to see them explore it further in the future

I loved that they weren’t lazy with the sign language and that the cast and crew all learned to communicate with alaqua

I loved that they also spoke in choctaw, and started the series with the creation of the tribe to set the stage for the rest of the series

the fact that alaqua herself is deaf and an amputee just proves that she was meant to play maya and she did a fucking PHENOMENAL job

I think they handled her disability so respectfully and perfectly. it wasn’t a hinderance or something that was heavily pointed out, it was literally just a part of who she was and that’s it

she’s so fucking smart and resourceful like she straight up made a gun out of a roller skate???

playing dragula at the skating rink was so real she’s just like me

the way they laced sound in and out of certain scenes to give us maya’s pov of what she experiences was such a neat thing to do

the little easter eggs confirming that the netflix shows are canon??? (fisk’s hammer, the roxxon gas station, etc)

y’all know how I feel about feral brunettes (especially ones in leather jackets)

“kingpin had his run. it’s time for a queen.” FUCKING ICONIC

bottom line is this show was fucking amazing and if you haven’t watched it yet, please do yourself a favor and check it out, especially if you enjoyed any of the netflix marvel shows. you will not be disappointed

i’m humbly appointing myself president of the maya lopez fan club and you’re all welcome to join we’re getting matching leather jackets

I can’t rave enough about echo or alaqua cox (I mean I could) but if you’ve made it this far thx for coming to my ted talk 🖤✨

[mynameisjag]

Quick Prompt: Wanting What Someone Else Has.

Scott finds out about the new Logan, Wade doesn't care about Scott's problems. Logan isn't even aware.

Wade stared at Scott.

Scott stared at Wade.

At least the mercenary assumed he was, kind of hard to tell, you know…with the glasses…

He’d give him a point for managing to get the drop on him though, showed up late enough not to be any help, early enough were they hadn’t left the mark's disgustingly beige mansion.

It looked better with the splashes of red everywhere.

Even the boring ass, uncomfortable lounges that they were sitting on, looked better with the splatter.

Cyclops was sitting on the less messy one, so maybe he didn’t agree or he just choose that one because then they could just sit and stare at each other face to face.

“Where’s Logan?”

“Better question, how are you alive? This better not be some multiverse MCU bullshit.”

Logan was probably eating his fill in the kitchen, the owners pervert party was catered and why leave and get underwhelming fast food when there was free rich fucks food that was going to go to waste anyway.

Lo had talked about his…hunting trips…sometimes, always on the move, always going from target to target, that at one point it was just sensible to eat what was there, rest, take what was need and move on. Considering how most of the fucks he went after were people of high importance, government jobs or just rich assholes, their was always alcohol, fancy foods, and wallets that no one noticed was gone till it was too late.

So this current hit was just another day for the feral.

Scott’s Logan was more man then his, could easily be mistaken for just another human without powers.

Wade’s though, his had lost himself to the calling of his inner animal and became it as he hunted those that had hurt his family. Body changing to its new needs, becoming the human predator he needed to be.

Logan hated it, hated what his body became, his behavior, his instincts, everything that changed, he hated it all. He spent so long trying to fit the profile others had tried to shove him into that losing himself to what was himself was a failure in his eyes. A shameful failure.

It wasn’t true of course and they were working on that, both supporting each other because they both were so fucked up but at least they were fucked up together.

Wade talked to the air and the millions of eyes that watched them, Logan would snarl and make more animal sounds then use his voice at times.

The merc highly doubted the X-men, at least this version, were going to be able to handle his Wolverine.

“There’s no dog for you to collar here, laser pointer, so why don’t you make your way back to whoever else has found the well of life in that mansion and fuck off.”

Seemed like he might have hit a nerve as that frown somehow got deeper, “I’m here for my friend.”

“You’re a good couple of states away from your Wolverine’s grave, can get you an Uber there if your that directionally challenged.”

“We know he is here, with you-“

“-Nope! Again, you have eye issues not hearing, your-hear that strain on that-your Logan is dead.” Deadpool reached forward to grab a drink he had set on the end table earlier before getting interrupted, “speaking of dead, you still haven’t answered how you’re still kicking around.”

“Your life isn’t the only one that involves time travels.”

“Oh, good, just the normal X-men bullshit then, should we be expecting the other Logan then?”

“No…he is still…gone…his body, or what we can find of it, is now resting back at the mansion…not all of us are back.”

“Oooh, I probably should have put that puzzle back together before jumping…everyone is still on the fence on whether or not old Wolves would have gotten a kick out of me playing Ninja Warrior with his tibias?”

“And what does that mean?”

“Ignore it and my little chats with the “gremlins” as Honey Bunny puts it, now, I’m going to guess you thought if you couldn’t have one, you figured you could take mine? Did Daddy Professor not drill in manners in all of that training, it’s rude to take other people’s stuff.”

“He isn’t your ‘stuff’, you don’t know how to handle him.”

At that precise moment, Logan ran past in the background, on all fours and a chunk of meat in his mouth, the merc was glad that Cyclops couldn’t follow his line of sight because of the mask. Cause all the red head had to do was slightly turn his head and he would see the man he was searching for bounding upstairs like an overly excited puppy with a new toy.

Either the man found fresh grade A steak or he had decided that some one smelled delicious and took a chuck. 50 50 chance on either option really and at least the blood was everywhere here instead of back in the apartment.

Al was less likely to complain when she didn’t slip and slide through puddles of blood.

“Handle him? Scottie too Hottie!”, at this point he lifts his mask enough to sip at the drink in his hand, grimacing at the flavor, how did they make fruit soda taste bad, “ugh, high society tastes are awful,” he wiggles the can at the other man, “want it?”

“No.”

“Don’t blame you, I can how ever blame you for thinking that for some shit reason that Lobunny, wait fuck that’s a Pokémon, Lo Bun Bun, is unable to think for himself and that I somehow can stop him from going wherever he wants to go.”

“He hasn’t came home, yet, if he was able to go-“

“That place isn’t his home, you are not his X-men, he is not a replacement, well, he is an anchor being replacement but not a ‘pick up where the last Logan left off’ replacement. So what ever regrets or amends you wanted to have, they should be aimed at the grave and not the man you wished was the one you lost,” Deadpool threw the can over the others head, before flipping over the couch he was on, landing on his feet and giving double finger guns at the X-man before the can could hit the wall, “well, good chat, but we gotta go!”

Scott was standing up now, face serious and ready to counter argue when flashing lights from outside reflected in the windows, sirens coming closer, “is that the police?”

“Yeah!,” now the mercenary was opening a window, hanging halfway out of it as he made grabby hands at something above him, “hope you got a ride,” blue colored gloves grabbed his red ones and he was yanked out and upward, “tootles!”

Scott took a deep breath, calming himself down before turning and heading toward his own escape.

He’ll try another day.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super 068

There’s a lot going on in this one...

Okay, so before we get too deep into this episode, we need to talk about where we are in the series.   The Zamasu Saga is over (thank goodness), and it’s followed by the “Universe Survival Saga”, which I just call the “Tournament of Power”, because that’s easier to say. 

However, we’re nowhere near the actual Tournament of Power.   If you look at an episode guide, they’ll probably break it down like this:

Battle of Gods Saga - Episodes 1-18

Resurrection F Saga - Episodes 19-27

Universe 6 Saga - Episodes 28-46

Future Trunks Saga - Episodes 47-76

Universe Survival Saga - Episodes 77-131

Basically, they just lump all the short side-story episodes into one of the main story arcs.  Zamasu was erased from existence and Future Trunks left the series for good in Episode 67, so it’s kind of silly to say the saga kept going for another nine episodes after that. 

Likewise, the Tournament of Power doesn’t actually start until Episode 97.  The first twenty episodes lumped into the “Universe Survival Saga” are just there to mark time and hype up the tournament. 

The “official” saga listing is misleading, because we just finished with Zamasu and you’d think we’re almost at the end of the series, because there’s only one more saga left to cover.  But that’s not true at all.  We’re barely past the halfway mark.  There’s still 64 episodes left, which is the equivalent of one whole GT. 

And when you look at it that way, it makes it sound like the Tournament of Power is huge, but it’s not, really.  It’s “only” 35 episodes, a little more than half of what we have left to cover. 

So I tend to break down Dragon Ball Super into four sections like this:

Bad Adaptations of the movies - Episode 1-27

Universe 6 and Zamasu Bullshit - Episodes 28-67

Nothing Important Happens - Episodes 68-96

The Tournament of Power - Episodes 97-131

These sections are a lot more even in length, so it gives a more honest appraisal of the series as a whole.  I enjoy the Tournament of Power a lot, but it’s only about a quarter of the series.  The first quarter is rehash of two movies.  The second quarter is made up of a lackluster tournament and an infuriating multiverse tale.  And then you have the third quarter, which is 29 episodes that aren’t part of any story arc, really. 

Most of this section isn’t bad, but it’s all one-shots and two-parters and three-parters that just don’t matter.  A lot of it is designed to lead into the Tournament of Power, but how much lead-in does it need?  As we’ll soon see, there’s not a lot to talk about until the Tournament actually starts.  A lot of characters worry about it, or desperately search for some way to avoid it, but there’s nothing anyone can actually do about it.

So if you’re someone looking to experience this series but you only want to see the important bits, my advice is to just skip Episodes 68-96 and jump straight to the Tournament of Power itself.  But I’m liveblogging this series all the way through, so I can’t take my own advice.   And with that in mind, let’s see what we’ve got in this leg of the series. 

So after Trunks left for good, Bulma still had the notebook her future self wrote to guide her on repairing Trunks’ time machine.  Since then, she’s been secretly working on building her own time machine from scratch.  The problem is that she’ll get in trouble if Beerus finds out about it, because the gods have strict rules against traveling through time.  The Galactic Patrol has laws against it too, but Bulma never seems to sweat Jaco, so it’s Beerus she’s worried about. 

Anyway, Bulma nearly has the whole thing ready for a test drive, but she can’t get it to work because of one element in the design.  According to Bulma, it’s the one piece of the original time machine that she hasn’t recreated herself.  I guess she salvaged it from the wreckage of the one Goku Black destroyed.

Meanwhile, Goku is planning to gather the Dragon Balls and finally wish King Kai, Bubbles, and Gregory back to life.  This has always bugged me, because even though King Kai died during the Cell Games, in the original theatrical cut of Battle of Gods, he was alive again, suggesting that he was resurrected along with the restoration of his planet.  But by the time the home video release came out, he was given a halo, to indicate he was still dead.  And then Dragon Ball Super turned this into a running gag, where Goku’s been meaning to wish him back to life for a while now, but he keeps getting sidetracked so it doesn’t happen.  Anyway, this time he’s totally gonna do it.  For real.

So Bulma gets jumpy after Goku visits her to get the Dragon Radar, and then she gets extra jumpy when Beerus and Whis show up looking for more Earth food.  She takes them to Red Lobster, where they experience crab for the first time. Bulma figures all she has to do is keep them happy until they leave, and then she can go back to working on her Time Machine’s missing piece...

But when Goku summons Shenron, she sees the sky go dark and realizes she could save herself some trouble by just wishing for the rare mineral she needs. So she excuses herself and leaves Beerus and Whis to enjoy their meal.

But Bulma’s not the only one with that idea.  Several other characters show up to demand a wish while Goku’s got the Dragon summoned.  Just to be clear, this is supposed to be taking place a few months after Shenron’s last appearance in Episode 29.  Bulma asked Shenron to locate the Super Dragon Balls, and when Shenron couldn’t do it, Beerus wished for him to leave.  So Shenron still has two wishes left to grant.  Goku only needs one, but who gets the other?

They all bicker over this, until Gohan shows up with Pan in his arms.  She’s sick, and her pediatrician doesn’t know what to do for her, which Gohan suggests may have to do with her Saiyan-human biology.  So he wants to ask Shenron to make her well again.  Everyone graciously steps aside for him, and...

Pan’s all better now! Hooray!

So by the time Bulma arrives, there’s only one wish left, and everyone is arguing over who gets it.  Goku should have the right, since he’s the one who collected the Dragon Balls in the first place, but 18 argues that resurrecting King Kai is pointless, since it doesn’t actually affect his day-to-day existence.  King Kai insists that “it feels different”. 

Anyway, Bulma starts going through the crowd and convincing them they don’t need the wish.  When she finds out 18 is looking to get something nice for Krillin but she doesn’t know what, Bulma assures her that all Krillin wants is his wife and child.  18 is convinced, so she goes home. 

Master Roshi just wants a bunch of hot chicks, so Bulma phones... somebody?  And offers them a lot of money to send over a car full of “bikini girls”.  I should point out that they’re not wearing bikinis when they arrive, but they did have to put this together on short notice.  I mean, they could still be bikini girls, and they just haven’t had a chance to change into their bikinis yet.  Anyway, Master Roshi gets hot and bothered looking at department store mannequins, so I’m pretty sure he isn’t picky.  He’s satisfied.

Oolong had a wish in mind, but he never even gets to say what it is.  Everyone just assumes he wants panties again, so Bulma pays 18 to get rid of him. 

Emperor Pilaf never even got that far, because Bulma ran over him with her car when she showed up.

Then there’s Goten and Trunks, who really wanted to make a wish.   No, that’s all they wanted.  They didn’t have anything to wish for, they just wanted the experience of summoning Shenron and wishing for something.  Bulma tells them how stupid that is, and they back down.

So now we’re just down to Bulma and Goku.  Shenron wants to leave, but Bulma threatens to taddle on him to Beerus, and he agrees to stick around until they settle this.  So the material Bulma needs is in the Earth’s core.  She was going to ask Shenron for some, but if Goku can get it for her instead, she’ll let him have the wish.  Goku isn’t sure he can survive down there, but Bulma has a special environmental suit for him that will do the trick.

So Shenron has to wait for all of this, which apparently puts him under some sort of strain, like he can’t handle being out for this much time.  More importantly, he’s still out of the Dragon Balls after Beerus and Whis finish eating, so they notice Shenron, and sense Goku fooling around at the center of the Earth.

It doesn’t take Beerus long to figure out what’s going on.  I doubt he would recognize the technical purpose of the mineral Goku found, but he knows Bulma wouldn’t bother going to such lengths for it unless it had to do with a time machine. 

Cornered, Bulma promises to never work on time travel ever again, and Beerus accepts her word.  But just to ensure she isn’t tempted, he blows up her lab, destroying the time machine and her notebook from the future. 

So the way is finally clear for Goku to make his wish, except Shenron literally cannot stay any longer, so he peaces out.  King Kai is denied yet again.

On the first viewing, I disliked this episode for how it dashed any hope of Bulma making her own time machine.  Also, the fact that she hadn’t built her own already flies in the face of DBZ Movie 13, which I always wanted to be canon.  Now, I’m not as fussed with that, but I still think this episode’s kind of dumb. 

If Bulma really wanted to prove something to herself, then she should have worked on building the time machine without any outside help.  Her counterpart in the alternate timeline managed to pull it off with a fraction of the resources, and I’m pretty sure she didn’t have anyone dig to the center of the Earth for her.  Either the rare mineral she needed is more readily available than Bulma realizes, or there’s a way to synthesize it, which Present-Bulma is far better-equipped to accomplish. 

And maybe that’s why Beerus destroyed her research.  He knows Bulma still retains the intellect to build a working time machine.   She’s already done it in an alternate future, and in this timeline she’s had the benefit of repairing a working model.  It’s only a matter of time before she figures out how to do it on her own, and Beerus must understand that.  If he truly wanted to stop her, he’d have to destroy her instead of her lab.  But instead, it’s more like he’s accepted the possibility, and he’s just challenging her to do it on her own, instead of relying on help from her future self.  

Anyway, let’s just move on.

[thoughtofadumbteenprotagonist]

Okay no but I have Thoughts™️ about this (sorry op)

Cuz I watched Riverdale when it originally came out and, to this day, I maintain that the first season is actually pretty good. It came in the Pretty Little Liars era so it was all like “Cool Edgy Teens Hate Their Parents And Solve A Murder” which, yknow, any 13 year old would love. My point is they had a genre [in season one] and they stuck to it.

Even season two wasn’t so bad, sure it got a little weird, but it was still very on brand and it all still made sense up to a point and then. . . Season three.

Season three still baffles me tbh. Their writing starts to be effected by the lives of the actors (there were relationships put into the show just because their actors were dating irl, it didn’t work) and they started off with the cult plot line which, again, was a little weird but if it was written like the previous series it was probably going to turn out fairly okay. . . And then they introduced fucking magic. The only reason I can think to justify this is that all this happened circa the Endgame era of Marvel, so all the lazy studio executives were like “let’s create a multiverse! That’ll definitely make sense somehow!” So now they claim Riverdale occurs in the same universe as Sabrina. Plus amongst all this they were tripping over themselves to have some sort of LGBTQ representation (which was never presented as a healthy relationship so. . . Diversity win? They’re not afraid to write an unhealthy queer relationship? Fuck knows)

I have now not watched in years - apart from the 100th episode which, whilst funny, made no sense - and the amount of bullshit that I’ve heard passively about the show (time travelling, superpowers, even more cults that fucked with the other cults, a lil bit of necromancy cuz why not, Cheryl was a the bee queen? Or something???) it feels less self aware like op said and more like a five year old writing their first book and having to cram in every plot line possible because their little brain can’t successfully plot a story yet. I agree that it’s similar to supernatural in the car wreck sense of “I don’t want to keep watching but I can’t look away”, but from what I’ve watched and heard of the entirety of supernatural, it had a cohesive plot, it’s just the cohesive plot sucked major balls. The contrast is with Riverdale I think the writing remained quite earnest for quite some time - now in season seven it is probably the case where the writers hate the show and the actors hate the show so they’re like “let’s do some random bs and just get this over with” (which is why literally everyone’s characterisation is completely unrecognisable compared to their early-show selves) and they’re definitely aware of the media attention it garners but yeah, I think for a long time the writers genuinely believed in the plots they were creating which. . . Concerns me, slightly

Rant over, sorry for hijacking your post op /genuine

i think the experience of watching riverdale is a sort of mirror to the experience of watching supernatural. dont leave sit back down i have a point. because riverdale is a show thats completely insane and knows its completely insane. which is honestly kind of hard to pull off, usually the self awareness ruins it. but with riverdale its very like. clearly the people making this know exactly what theyre doing but EYE sure as hell do not. and i need to know why they are doing this. what are they accomplishing. how are they getting away with it, archie comics is ancient and venerated intellectual property. my mom read archie comics. what the fuck.

supernatural past a certain point was more like. it is clear nobody here has control. it is clear that there are too many cooks in the kitchen. making a lasagna is a one- or two-person job, but this lasagna is being made by a team of 500 people that rotates every 10 minutes. also the tomato and the basil dont talk to each other anymore, and the ricotta cheese is experiencing homophobia and its not even gay. got lost in this metaphor a little. whats going on.

[we-want-mini-mini]

I have this short one shot in mind. It’s essentially abt the entire Batfam gathering up together (and its also the anniversary of Jason’s death but that’s kinda jus a background detail).

Anyways, everyone gathers round the dinning table, eating, laughing, etc etc. And when I mean everyone, I fucking mean all the Batkids, which include but are not limited to:

Dick

Jason

Tim

Damian

Stephanie

Cassandra

Duke

Barbara

Anyways, Alfred and Bruce are obvi there as well, eating, and talking and stuff.

Suddenly, some fucking kid bursts through the fucking window, does a mid-air flip, and lands smack dab in the middle of the dining table, on their hands, which is conveniently holding onto this package.

All hell breaks loose, as various Bats (and birds!) start throwing various items. Then this kid sends out this weird ass pulse, that makes everything freeze in place. Only this kid and move.

The kid slowly floats up, cross legged in the air, moving a batarang, and throwing knife away from their face. They announce, “Hello, the Wayne Family and Friends! Who are also... Gasp, the infamous Bat and Bird themed Vigilantes of Gotham?! Now, to quote John Mulany, “we don’t have time to unpack all of that” which is fine! ...Why are none of you responded—oh sorry! I froze you all in place, my bad.”

The kid snaps their fingers, allowing the Batfam & Co. talk but their still frozen in place. Immediately Damian starts antagonizing the Kid. The Kid responses by literally zipping close Damians mouth like a Looney Toon cartoon.

The Kid sighs but continues on, “C��mon now! Don’t shoot the messenger as they say, whoever they is that is. Anyways, I have a package for one: Jason Peter Todd!”

“Who the hell sent you?” Jason askes.

The Kid shrugs, “No clue, they sent it in anonymously. Though, from what I know, there is a card inside the package so that might offer you some clues.”

“And what exactly are you?” Bruce inquires.

The Kid’s lips stretch out as wide as they can go, their pearly white, jagged teeth on display. Their eyes glow slightly red, as their neck cranes forward at a tilt. Their neck seems to extend a lot further, and their face tilts at an inhuman angle. They open their mouth, with rows of teeth on display for everyone too see.

“Why don’t you find out?” Their once chriper, goofy, kid like voice contorts into a deep, distorted version. Everyone freezes, at the Kid simply stares back at Bruce before their fave goes back to “normal” as they laugh their collective ass off.

“Ahaha... You know, that trick never does fail to make me laugh and all of you freeze in fear—then again, your already frozen but still!”

The Kid continues, their face still stretched out in a smile. A smile a little to sharp and inhuman for them. “But, you should know that’s quite a rude thing to ask! Didn’t your parents teach you any manners?! Then again, they are dead.”

A beat of silence.

“What? Too morbid? Seriously, what a tough crowd! But hey, everyone has their sore spots, so I can’t blame ya. Anyways, I’m guessing all of you have questions. So, fire away!”

They snapped their fingers, making the literally zipper on Damians face disappear.

“Who are you?” Damian seethes.

“I’m Ty Kidd! But call me Kid. Oh and, my pronouns are she/they, thank you very much. I am also a delivery person for—” Kid pulls out a business card, which start to multiple and appear infront of everyone. “—the Multiversal Express Delivery Service, or MEDS for short!”

“And what exactly is MEDS?” Dick asks.

“It’s literally in the name.” Kid deadpans, before another inhuman like smile spreads across their face. “I travel from parallel world to parallel world! Fun fact: there’s a world where you guys are just fictional characters who’ve existed since the 1930s! Isn’t that cool?! One of the many reasons I love my job.”

“Yeah, yeah, fun stuff, but who sent you?”

Kid shrugs, “I dunno. Sender was anonymous. But no worries! At MEDS we ensure that none of our packages include any sort of life threatening object, material, and etc! So, no need to worry about releasing a plague that would decimate this world in a blink of an eye or a nuclear bomb that would wipe this continent out of the map! But, if you do want to send world ending plagues or bombs, you must submit a form and blah blah blah HR bullshit.”

“And... how do know right trust you?” Tim spoke up.

Kid’s face once again spilts in half into a smile, their jagged teeth slightly teasing her lips. Her eyes turned into black silts. “You don’t.” Their voice reasonated throughout everyone’s ears, deep and contorted to the octave.

She pulled back, face once again going “normal”. “But! You can trust MEDS! Trust me when I say, nothing like a bomb, plague or that sort of item is inside this package. Anyways, I’m on a schedule, so—“

They snapped their fingers, a small device and pen appearing infront of Jason. “—please sign, and I’ll be on my merry way. Don’t worry about the window, I’ll fix it!”

Jason was momentarily stunned wondering what the fuck is happening? Why is their probably a fucking eldritch-demon-person in front of me? What is my life?

Before Jason could even tell what was happening, he picked up the floating pen and signed his name on the little device thingy. When his name was signed, the pen and device poofed! away in a plume is smoke.

The Kid, still smiling that inhuman and unsettling smile, snapped their fingers, fixing the broken window, and putting away all the various knifes and objects that were still floating in the air.

“Thank you for your service! If you ever want to send anything to a parallel universe, just give us a call and we will send it! No matter how desolate the Earth, no matter how frankly strange item, we shall send it! Anyways, happy Death day Jason Todd. Kid Out!” They said with a salute, before disappearing in a plume of smoke.

All hell breaks loose and after some arguing and lowkey existential breakdowns everyone converges to the Cave.

Bruce being paranoia incarnate, makes the package go through numerous tests. All being negative. They can’t even identify what it is.

After some more arguing, Jason slips by everyone, and tears open the box. Everyone tries to stop him, but it’s already to late, he opened it.

Now, no one can see what’s inside since Jason is blocking them with his gigantic ass figure. Bruce is the first one to realize that Jason freezes up, and goes to him, worried that something happened.

“Jason, whats wro—“ Then Bruce sees what’s in the box and pales. Everyone sees how Bruce freezes, just looking at the box.

Soon, one by one, it revealed: its Jokers decapated head.

Or alternatively, Jason is the last one to see what’s inside (Damian or someone else being the first). Up to you.

Anyways, there’s this card. Jason picks it up, and it reads:

As the Persians say: an eye for an eye. But the world doesn’t go blind. Happy Dead Clown Day, Jason.

—[Insert an intial or some shit]

Cue some time later, and, yes, it’s confirmed, this is Jokers head. You see, Jokers been awfully quiet for two years, as he went missing after an explosion rocked Arkham Asylum. This, is proof that Joker is finally dead.

News breaks that Joker is dead, and it follows Jason reaction to his death.

In my opinion he’d be lowkey angry that it wasn’t him who killed the damn Clown. But, holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. He’s... He’s dead. He’s finally fucking dead.

Cue some more time later, after everything has cooled down. Jason is in Robinson Park, sitting at a bench, when another kid (who kinda looks like Kid but Jason is too busy inner monologuing to care).

The kid speaks up, “You know, before I use to hate the phrase, ‘an eye for an eye’ ‘cause, the world would go blind.”

Jason freezes, and the kid continues. “But, now I get it. An eye for an eye, but the world never goes blind. Simple as that, since, sure, your blind in one eye, but justice was finally served, right Jason?”

The kid turns to him, and smiles. Not a too large, too sharp, too inhuman smile, but a sincere, warm one. “Y-Yeah.” Jason finally manages to choke out.

“It’s a nice day out, you know. It’s real nice. I know, that, at least you get to see more of these nice days.”

“You day that as if you can’t see days like these anymore.” He blurts out.

The kid sighs, with a bitter smile on their face. “Yeah, I can’t see or experience days like these anymore. I haven’t been able too for three years. But hey, an eye for an eye, but the world never goes blind.” As the kid speaks, their voice fades away. In a blink of an eye, the kid disappears, leaving behind daffodil and a note.

The note is an invitation for a funeral.

Jason goes to the Manor, specifically the cave, and conveniently everyone is there. Damian, Stephanie and Cass are sparring. Dick is using the aerial equipment. Bruce and Tim are working on some cases with Barbara helping. Alfred is done, handing out snacks.

Jason immediately shoves the card to Tim, who’s confused and then sees how utterly shaken up and pale he looks.

“Tell me what happened to this kid.”

Everyone immediately turns to Tim, as he types in their name, date and etc.

What they find out, is that, this kid, who died three years ago, died in the last ever attack wide scale attack the Joker committed. They were the only casualty in said attack (surprisingly).

And they were only 13. Like Jason. And the date of the attack... is the same day Jason died all those years ago in Ethiopia.

“I saw them.”

“...what?” Dick said, in an incredulous voice.

“I saw them. At Robinson Park. They even said that exact same phrase in that fucking card: an eye for an eye—“

“—and the world never goes blind.” Everyone says the last part in unison.

Then the Bats get news that rest of Jokers body was sent to the GCPD, addressed to—

-END-

Basically, that’s how the one shot goes. If anyone wants to use the idea:

Jason gets a package while he’s at the Manor. They test said package and nothing comes up. Some start arguing and someone opens the package (which is more dramatic, Jason seeing it first or last?). They see: Jokers decapiated head. Chaos ensues and a metric shit load of testing later, it’s confirmed: thats Jokers head. And Jokers been missing for [insert amount of time]. The Batfam then deal with the fallout of Joker being (finally) dead.

If anyone writes this, please tag me! I want too see ANGST, and FLUFF, and GOOD DAD BRUCE, and, DRAMA, and ALL THE BAT KIDS.

(I can’t delete the fucking pic below me and I refuse to rewrite this entire post. Lowkey it’s kinda ironic too lmao).

[sigmaleph]

[1/3] i think i found a way in wich the prunning of silvye by the tva makes sense but, of course, it would take assuming a bunch of shit the show never made explicit so hold on to your hats: the true purpose of the tva is to prune any alternate timeline where evil versions of he who remains could show up. but, with the multiverse being what it is, there are probably infinite timelines with slight variances where that doesnt happen. so! sylvie is born female because of random genetic chance but-

[2/3] -you have to keep in mind, technically anything is possible at any time, it will never be the case that evil he who remains (from now on called "kang") showing up is actually literally 100% impossible, there will always be at least a 0.000001% chance, so the tva probably has a certain threshold after which the probability becomes to big to be allowed to go on. now sylvie being born increased that possibility a little but only at a very slow rate, not enough to trigger a warning in the tva-

[3/3] chances are this is something that is constantly happening with all infinite timelines, where the probability is constantly increasing or diminishing and they only interfere when it passes a certain point. now lets say sylvie lived most of her life more or less exactly like loki did and then at that precise day when she was playing with her toys something happened, maybe the way she played with them would trigger something in her that down the line gives way to kang, maybe at the point-

[4/3] (fuck i miscalculated) the probability increased enough to interfere. either way the idea is that being born a girl didnt increase that probablity enough at the time of birth but after years and years it accrued enough to be taken into consideration. the showrunners are still fucking cowards for not making sylvie trans loki, i 100% agree with that, i just wanted to come up with some way to make the events of the show make a little but more sense

OK! let's dive in, shall we

So, we're told that what the TVA looks for is "variance energy", signs that a timeline will diverge, but according to this interpretation if I'm reading you right they are lying/being lied to and what they actually look for is signs of kang arising. It seems less likely a priori that that's the sort of thing you can measure but let's handwave that problem away and say they can, bullshit technology is bullshit.

The side effect here is that Sylvie (and other Loki variants who look like they must've spent a while being divergent) come from long-term parallel timelines that are allowed to exist for a while, up until they get "variance energy" which is actually kangsign.

This would imply that there are many coexisting timelines, not just one "sacred timeline". They're allowed to remain as long as their P(Kang) is low.

So yeah this is a cool idea but here's where I disagree, and it's a similar problem with other complicated Loki theories I've heard: for the most part, the TVA believe their own party line

This is an important plot point! Mobius and hunter... 15? whatever her number was are ready to turn on the TVA the moment they find out they've been lied to; they think the official story is true and do a complete change in allegiance upon finding it's false.

But the official story means that they don't have any explanations for where sylvie comes from, and would similarly not have any explanation whenever they arrived at a timeline that diverged long ago and is only showing kangsign now. Why is nobody at the TVA, presumably people who have thought about time travel and multiverses more than me since this is their job and they have no personal lives, not questioning that their observations don't match what they're being told about the "sacred timeline"?

edit: Oh, also, I think it makes “redlining” more questionable. “you can destroy a timeline if it hasn’t diverged too much” is ehhh but potentially makes sense. “you can destroy a timeline but only if their kangsign is below a certain threshold” gets a lot more suspicious; why is kang so fundamentally intertwined with the fabric of the universe that it’s his probability of presence or absence that dictates the TVAs ability to prune a timeline? and if that’s not what redlining really is, then what is it?

[porcupine-girl]

Untamed Fic Rec List

Look, most of these are reasonably popular fics already, so if you’ve been in this fandom for a couple months you’ve likely read them. Which is not how I normally do rec lists, but I’m new enough to Untamed that I’m still reading through all the fics by authors I know from other fandoms plus ones that have been personally recced to me, so I haven’t made it into the deep dive of underappreciated fics that I normally like to rec.

It doesn’t help that one of these recs is 445K, so for like two weeks straight it was basically all I was reading.

BUT if, like me, you are rather new to this fandom and its fics, here are some good ones:

The Same Moon Shines Series by sami

This is the 445K behemoth, made up of 23 works, and is technically made up of three interrelated series. The first fic, which establishes the whole universe/multiverse, is 139K on its own. Basically, decades into the canon future, WWX invents time travel.

He goes back to being born, but is reborn with all his memories intact. And he fixes, like, fucking everything and it’s so, so fucking satisfying. Everything’s not perfect though - for example, he like lowkey (highkey?) traumatizes LXC by showing him his previous life via empathy and that has some consequences eventually. Featuring ace poly JC/LXC/WQ triad.

Then in a cracky subseries, appropriately called “ridiculous future bullshit”, we assume that the main six from this universe (WWX, LWJ, JC, WQ, LXC, JYL, & Lan Sizhui) all achieve immortality and find out what they’re up to in the modern day, where they’re revered in the Five Nations (this does a great job of staying in the canon world instead of ours) but of course white Western assholes do things like try and make a disney movie called Hanguang-Jun and the Yiling Patriarch where they marry LWJ off to a girl.

And then in a third subseries, which so far has only one WIP fic, we go back to the canon universe, find out that JC and LWJ were stuck there watching WWX disappear in his time machine array (so WWX actually split off into another universe, he didn’t rewind his own), and so they get into the array having no idea what it will do but wanting to chase down the asshole they love. And so a third universe is born, where they are both born with their memories but WWX is not. I absolutely love seeing how different their priorities are from WWX’s in terms of what they want to change in their new life.

(Also: This is technically a MDZS fic that usually goes with novel canon over show canon if there’s a discrepancy, so if like me you haven’t read the whole novel you might need to look up some plot points now and then.)

The Vermillion Ribbon by @unforth

AU where Wei WuXian was taken in by Wen Qing and Wen Ning’s parents instead of the Jiangs. LWJ (who is the POV character) is a super DUPER dick to him at first, like even moreso than in canon, but the speed with which he regrets his choices is breathtaking and extremely satisfying.

LWJ is a VERY unreliable narrator. He has absolutely no idea what is going on with himself or anyone else at any point in time. Eventually he at least becomes self-aware of this fact, and can at least go wait am I missing something? I think I’m missing several somethings but fuck if I know what. Wei WuXian not understanding this about him leads to some miscommunication, because WWX doesn’t get that LWJ needs absolutely everything spelled out to him in single-syllable words with crayon drawings and y’know, WWX isn’t going to be straightforward anytime he can pretend he’s TOTALLY FINE :D :D :D instead.

LWJ’s friendship with NHS is magical, and NHS in general gets 810% more opportunity to scheme and plot pre-time-of-NMJ’s-canonical-death than in canon and is honestly living his best life. It’s also valuable for LWJ to have a scheming friend because, aside from realizing he misjudged WWX, this is how he starts to figure out that he’s a dumbass who has no idea what is going on ever. But he can count on NHS to always be ten steps ahead, so it’s okay.

(ETA: I’m sorry, I made unforth feel like maybe LWJ was too dense, and no, he’s very much not stupid in general. Like, honestly the fact that he becomes so self-aware of the things he’s bad at, and does things like trust NHS to always understand the stuff he’s missing, makes him come off as very intelligent. It’s just in the specific realm of understanding anything that people say or do that isn’t 100% honest and straightforward that he is just entirely hopeless in a rather relatable way, and like I said, WWX’s go-to is hiding any and all pain so that is a bad combo.)

The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou

This diverges from canon when WWX is on his way to Jin Ling’s one month celebration, but doesn’t bring Wen Ning along. So when Jin Zixun attacks it goes very poorly for him, poorly enough that Jin Zixuan thinks he’s dead and it’s reported back at Carp Tower as such. Sending LWJ into a dissociative state. He manages to break through to reality just long enough to find out that Jin Zixuan took WWX’s body back to the burial mounds and left it with Wen Qing, and to get on his sword and go directly there. Thankfully, it turns out that WWX is not dead, but only just barely so.

So LWJ stays there, because now that he spent some amount of time (he isn’t really sure if it was like five minutes or two hours, because dissociation) thinking WWX was dead he now knows that he should never, ever be anywhere but with WWX.

Honestly, it almost feels like a spoiler to say WWX doesn’t die, but there’s no major character death warning while there IS one for graphic violence so it’s not a chose not to warn either, so that’s technically not a spoiler. But things are touch-and-go for him for a very, very long time. And the romance is a slow burn with pining galore. And you get to see LWJ teaching A-Yuan to play the guqin, so like imagine being WWX and you wake up from almost dying to see that going on in your cave.

Velle: to will, to wish by @aerlalaith

This one is actually canon-compliant, and as it’s both quite a bit shorter and more straightforward, plot-wise, than the others, my writeup will be short but that doesn’t mean I loved it any less. Basically, it’s the process of LWJ deciding to adopt A-Yuan in the aftermath of WWX’s death. It starts just after he’s been beaten for turning against the other cultivators, and at first it’s mostly his grief and both physical and emotional pain. A-Yuan starts slipping in to visit him. and LWJ isn’t sure if he’s really okay with that at first.

Of course he becomes very okay with it, but the Lan elders and Lan Qiren and all aren’t just going to be like “ok sure you can barely walk you should def adopt a four-year-old of unclear origins who may or may not have something to do with your demonic dead boyfriend and the evil people he helped, that’s cool,” so it’s not that simple.

There’s a followup fic where, years later, LWJ chooses the courtesy name Sizhui and Xichen gives him shit for it.

save a sword, ride a socialist by sysrae / @fozmeadows

Continuing on my grand tour of Untamed fics by my fave writers from other fandoms, I get to enjoy having overlapped with foz on a third straight fandom which is just fabulous. I totally thought I wasn’t gonna read AUs and then this asshole comes along and writes AUs, which is not playing fair.

I especially love this because it’s modern day but much like ridiculous future bullshit it’s modern day in (more or less) a canonish world, not our world. So like, they fly on swords, but not long distances because it’s easier to take a train or drive rather than use up all that spiritual energy.

Lan Qiren and Jin Guangshan miss the old ways, though, and they think the best ancient tradition to bring back is arranged marriage! Because that will go over well with today’s youth. They try to make LWJ marry Mianmian but he’s like “um I’m gay” and LQ throws a hissy fit about that so Jin Zixuan (who is LWJ’s bestie and is fucking hilarious) hatches a plot for LWJ to cause LQ to stroke out by bringing WWX to Lan Xichen’s birthday party as his fake date.

But when LWJ and WWX meet up to talk this over, LWJ is instantly fucked because WWX has a small child with him and it turns out that this small child is the orphan he adopted. He doesn’t notice he’s fucked until a few days later, though, when WWX comes over for “kissing practice” and they fuck and he calls Jin Zixuan all “I think I caught a feel, what do?” and JZX is like idk, you’re a moron, don’t ask me to clean up your moron messes. And the next day LWJ buys a car seat.

Lan Wangji heard about Jack 110% Zimmermann and said “challenge accepted,” is what I’m saying here. And now I’ve written as much about this 33k fic as I did about the 445k, so I’ll shut up before I just recount the entire plot.

[kuronekonerochan]

The laziest compilation of thoughts about the mess that was Alice (spoilers)

I finish a lot of shitty dramas. Like a lot. I could review them, but I won’t bc there’s too many and I’m too lazy (when you ff some dramas from 45min to 5 per episode it doesn’t really count as watching too many dramas bc it’s really a commercial break, lol). Some I watch for the so bad it’s good content, or love hate watching or just to have something to watch while I eat, even if they’re boring af. It’s also a tiny bit of ocd bc I need to see how they end (even the ones I drop I check out the finale). I only drop the ones that as Marie Kondo says *Do Not Spark Joy, more specifically...annoy me and make me cranky.

I sometimes bitch about it on DMs with ranty spoilers without structure and that reference other unrelated dramas or shows, because ADHD and my mind refuses to stay on topic, which would make it probably unintelligible except if you are in the niche who happens to have watched the other unrelated dramas, so it’s probably useless as a review.

That said, here are some random disconnected thoughts about Alice.

MAJOR SPOILER ALERTS BEWARE

(this is like partly copypaste of DM rants bc I am that lazy biatch. Also, fair warning I will seem super harsh or this drama because that’s the thing about a bitching dm versus a proper review... I am not bringing up all the points and talking about the good and what I liked as well as the bad, it’s just the bad...and although the drama is imo a mess, it does have some good in it. So if it were a review I’d always argue pros and cons...ranty thoughs who cares about pros? boring..I will not be bothered with devil’s advocate).

This was fascinating to watch, interesting but not good... but like a trainwreck.

I continued watching this mess despite the headache inducing convoluted plot (I watched a lot of timetravel stuff and I love it...encompassing all the theories about it, from butterfly effect, to effectively changing the future (with characters forgetting it or keeping it in memory because “eye of the storm” theory, the “efforts are futile and you can try to change it but the future is set in stone”, to “small changes can be made but big events are fixed points in time”, to “every change creates a new time line” and multiverse, etc... and trust me, all of them can be done well when well written or turn out a confusing illogical mess and that has nothing to do with the theory chosen, but with presenting how time travel works for that story and what the basic rules are and sticking to them...or when something happens that contradicts them, come up with an explanation as to why that happens.

 I don’t mean the drama should be an exposition borefest with too much pseudosciency jargon...but this drama gives you too little in the way of rules and the viewers sort of figure out how timetravel works (which is not bad per se, huge fan of show don’t tell...but there’s a limit to how much they cannot tell or the characters chose not to ask just for the sake of plot and not without any logic to it). Anyways, the little “rules” that we gather along the way...the writing doesn’t stick to them and keeps contradicting itself without addressing or explaining it and hoping we’re so confused we don’t notice. Some dramas you just say “eh, forget it, it doesn’t make sense, let’s turn off our brains and enjoy it”, but here if I wanted to try and follow what was going on at all it required “brain on” mode for their convoluted plot twists...which also made me aware of so may plotholes the time road should have looked like Swiss Cheese. I could go into them...but I cannot be bothered and the list would be extensive and still incomplete, so I will just put 3 here bc I can’t help it:

 1) Hot Daddy with emotional turmoil the entire drama of “Oh no, I abandoned her in 92 and regretted it, it happened 1 year ago for me, and now I find out she died in 2010. How was she, did she suffer? What did she know? Oh god, if only I were a time traveler eventually going rogue who could show up and talk to her any time in the timeline between 92 and 2010...Alas, I have to live in misery with the consequences of my actions...there is just ABSOLUTELY no way of solving this. I guess I’ll just keep making unauthorized time travel journeys from 2050′s time agency back to the year of 2020 and only 2020 to constantly be blindsided by murder attempts on everyone everywhere without having a clue to what’s going on when I could simply go back to before 2010 and talk to the one person who is proven to know what is going on.” Here is where there could be a bullshit reason as to why he could go only go to 2020 and not before, but the drama didn’t even bother.

 2) They say Tae Yi’s mom was originally a time traveler who settled with her physicist dad in the past, eventually making way for her to discover time travel herself. The mom is missing and this is never addressed again. 

3) The book...who wrote it? Because I have guesses but they never outright answer it... and if the biatch author knew that stuff why the alice in wonderland stupid analogies?

 Coward, or petty, or both.... or maybe just a chaos gremlin godlike entity who wanted to watch them all squirm, like the author from Extraordinary You...and that I could get behind, but sadly they don’t go that metaphysical/theological with the plot...which is honestly the main problem with this drama. It seems ambitious in concept but it’s never explored decently in any way, not in the pseudoscience, not in the philosophical sense of the meaning of time/space/existence, not even in its relationships, with the constant back and forth and weirdness of it.

Besides the timetravel migraine, we had the weirdest directing, that made the relationship between the leads feel a bit too incesty...which was the main reason I kept watching this drama...morbid curiosity of how they wrapped up this mess of a plot AND especially the relationship payoff...would it keep being weird with trope romance drama scenes like the female lead and second female lead facing off and being jealous, or that weird hair washing that felt more sensual than maternal? I knew it wouldn’t happen but my inner chaos gremlin wanted kdramaland to grow some balls and go full “predestination: oedipus edition” with this mess. Alas they sort of did, mostly didn’t. Even that angle was a whole inconsistent mess: there were times where it felt too romantic, then for a short minute I misguidedly shipped the journalist friend, then it seemed the dude was ace, then they calmed their tits with the whole weird romantic vibes and it got platonic cute, then with the memory merge thing finally motherly vibes, then I shipped the journalist again for 1 sec only...and then the ending:

Alice ended with the lead solving every problem by shooting himself (technically) in the head...and that's the second meta perfectly fitting ending for a drama with a good cast and terrible writing that drove itself into a corner this year, after the sleepless princess ended with the leads jumping off a cliff. I don't think it's a self aware choice of the writers, or an admission that they themselves know it was bad, but the irony is delicious.

Spoiler for the ending: he undoes timey wimey stuff from when his mom first got killed in high school and closed the time travel door. So he became an architect and new Tae Yi just woke up in her bed remembering everything, but in reality she had just come back from a conference abroad and had never met him. So mom TaeYi didn't die then, but never got back on screen after the time undo so who the f knows what happened to her. 

Also, if new Tae Yi remembers, does that mean hot daddy from the future does as well, but he is just stuck in the future without a time door to ever see them again? The drama doesn’t care answering that and forgets his character is even a thing...I will miss you, my fave who looked emotionally and literally constipated 24/7 (it doesn’t care answering much at all tbf... a little known fact about the time travel paradoxes according to the physics of this world is that besides doppelganger chickenpox it induces severe lazy writing).

Anyways new Tae Yi went looking for architect (? okay...I guess) ML after she woke up, at first he didn't remember her, but it ends with him meeting her, apparently remembering her and they stare at each other... you know, like any bad traditional romantic kdrama finale....so there is still THAT vibe. 

Honestly, the usual romantic ballad score for scenes between the leads WAS NOT the most intelligent choice for this drama in specific but boy did they stick with it (not to mention the ending song... that goes, in english “we be like Bonnie and Clyde we ride or die...which...k, sure)...so technically the ending was exactly the cliche post amnesia running back to each other and staring for the final scene while romantic music blasts trope. Take it as you will.

[yuvon-writes-letters]

Hello again dear friend. Maybe friend. Or whatever. (I guess it'll take time to figure out whether we'll really call each other friends? :) )

How much time went by since the last letter I sent you? For me it's been almost two days. Your reply came this morning, but I needed some time to get over the call I told you.

The call, and honestly also you and your Jake. Don't get me wrong, I'm still absolutely glad I found someone to talk to! I also want to thank you for giving me Jakes message. But I was still having some doubts...How can I be sure this all is real? You are real? And not lying to me?

I'm scared and honestly, you do not figure out that there really is some messed up multiverse and some kind of...trickster entities who like to play weird games everyday. Like..How did you even figure out that an entity brought you to this place? (Even though I have to admit; maybe I would've thought the same thing in your situation.) To bring my emotions more near to you: I'm sighing right now. I guess I'm just scared this is another kind of sick mind play.

Aaaaaand I start babbling again.

The second thing I wanted to adress; the call. Like you said there weren't many options I had in mind, but I still was kinda hoping for..I don't know, just a spam call? Since I didn't hear from the Crow-Crew.

But it wasn't. Not that I would know. I didn't pick up the call, but some time later an unknown number sent me a picture of THE mask. Ya know what I'm talking about? Nothing more. Just the picture. (I'm sighing again. Really much today...)

What I'm trying to do is reaching Jake now..I mean, maybe this time-stopping-thingy ended by now? Or, to say it in your words, a weird entity started messing around again.

Well, I hope this letter wasn't to accusing or rude..Because, honestly, even if it was a weird mind game...I wouldn't want to lose you and your contact now.

Liska🐾🔥

Liska,

If you want to be friends, I'd love to be :)

It's... been a couple of hours since the last letter? I think. It's hard to tell time, here. Wait, I'll ask Jake. ...He says something like four hours, but he didn't think to keep track. Great, now we get to deal with time bullshit. Wonderful. Excuse me while I scream in frustration for a moment.

I mean, fair. You don't really have much of a reason to trust me, I guess, other than the proof I gave to Rai that I'm involved with the case. If you want any more evidence, though, I will say that I've got very strong suspicions as to why you mentioned you wanted to make Chinese food in your last letter. It's across from the motel room, isn't it?

Additionally, to be fair, I've very little reason to believe you either. However, given both that Rai is who they say they are, the contents of the letter that started it all, and our similar relationship dramas, I think I can safely assume that you are at least heavily involved in the Duskwood case, and that you're taking the same role that Rai and I am. So I'm choosing to trust you, here. Not like you can use any of this information to hurt me, anyhow XD I'm in a pocket dimension slash limbo prison thing, after all.

I don't know for SURE that it's an entity that brought me here, but it seems likely, doesn't it? I mean, this... place was clearly CONSTRUCTED, looking at the library, the game room, the comfy room, and the initial letter that started all this shit. Constructed for ME, in particular. Unless this is some weird as hell manifestation of my subconscious or something, that implies intelligent design.

Then again, I do have a habit of jumping straight from point A to point C, and skipping B in the process. I could be wrong. The "eldritch" descriptor is because in the works I read/watch/play, dimensional travel almost always ends up with Lovecraftian monsters somewhere in the mix of the bad guy rosters. Again, I made assumptions there. Whoops.

Huh. So, Duskwood is in stasis, but someone still sent a photo of the MWAF mask... grrrr. (There's a rough pencil sketch of the MWAF's mask here, with cartoonish inked X's over the "eyes.") This complete lack of logic is what I really hate about dealing with these reality warping assholes. Yes, definitely try to reach your Jake. Don't repeat my mistakes, just tell him everything if you manage to reach him. Good luck. Sincerely.

You're being rightfully skeptical. I didn't take offense at anything. When you're in situations like ours, not even the weird shit happening around us but just the Duskwood case itself, you really start doubting everything, don't you?

Or is that just me?

Jake thinks that the picture of the mask was either a threat or a message of some sort. He's recommending you keep an eye out for raven signs, or (given how things are going over on my side) just literal ravens. He's not sure whether you should follow them or run from them if you find them, though. He's also asking if there was anything in the background of the image.

I hope your Jake responds to you soon :(

—Yuvon and Jake

(The letter tucks itself in the paper clip with the others.)

[thefloatingstone]

We’ve gone from Self-Isolation to Quarantine and in some places to gradual relaxation phases, but that doesn’t stop the need for more nonsense you can watch on youtube while you wait for things to get back to normal. And recommending things and making lists are some of my favourite things to do but I have not yet figured out how to start or structure a video myself, you guys get another rambling tumblr post of things you can watch on youtube.

This time I’m once again just gonna recommend individual videos rather than full channels like I did in part 2.

Part 1

Part 2

In no particular order; 

LOCAL58: The Broadcast Station that Manipulates You

I recently started watching the Nexpo channel when I went on a binge of creepy youtube videos. Most of his videos are really good although the ones where he himself goes into theory crafting can be a little asinine. However, this video is REALLY good. And before you get nervous, LOCAL58 is not a real TV station. LOCAL58 is a youtube channel created by the same guy behind the Candle Cove creepypasta. This video by Nexpo covers the various episodes of LOCAL58 and discusses them. Just be aware going in that this is abstract horror, and will probably get under your skin regardless if you’re unaffected by certain topics or not. although cw for suicide mention.

I also recommend most of the rest of this channel, although be careful where you tread. I don’t recommend his series “Disturbing things from around the internet” as it can sometimes include real life crime, abuse and such caught on security cameras. Everything else is really good tho. (although I was really annoyed by his 2 videos on KrainaGrzybowTV)

The Search for D.B. Cooper

LEMMiNO has a new video out covering one of the most unexplained crimes in the past century of the US. LEMMiNO is the guy I’ve recommended before who did videos on the Universal S. He is very down to earth and not someone prone to conspiracy or even really that fanciful of thinking. (He’s like the one person I feel covered the Dyaltov Pass incident and was confused by why this was even a mystery because if you read the Russian Autopsy reports and documents associated with the case it’s all pretty logical and easily explained)

D.B. Cooper is the name given to a man who, in 1971, hijacked an airplane with a bomb, asked for a large sum of money, and after receiving it, parachuted from the plane and was never seen or heard from again.

The Austrian Wine Poisoning | Down the Rabbit Hole

Down the Rabbit Hole also has a new video out, this time covering the Austrian Wine Poisoning event from 1985. A scandal that involved literally the entire country of Austria, affected multiple countries, and forever changed the way wine was made world wide. As someone who is generally pretty allergic to most artificial substances this one made me personally very angry. But luckily, it has a happy ending and a better world for us all... if I could drink wine which I can’t do anyway.

The Turbulent Tale of Yandere Dev - A Six Year Struggle

The Right Opinion is another channel I only recently subbed to after watching his cover on Onion Boy. I put off subbing to him simply because of his channel name and I thought it meant he would come across as smug and elitist. Luckily this seems to merely be one of those “I chose a bad channel name and now I’m stuck with it” type of situations. (IHE has a similar problem).

Anyway, I have a weird interest in bizarre internet personalities, so I’ve been enjoying his channel as he simply discusses and presents a timeline of events of certain individuals. In this video, he covers the developer behind the much maligned Yandere Simulator. It’s a tale of hubris, arrogance, immaturity, and an unwillingness to accept your own shortcomings due to ego.

Oh and there’s a meme game about Japanese school girls with anime tiddies in there as well.

The Most Relaxing Anime Ever Made | Yokohama Kaidashi Kikō

Kenny Lauderdale is a youtube channel which is slowly becoming bigger which I’m very happy to see. He exclusively covers anime and live action Japanese television no younger than the mid 90s (as is the case with YYK) and which usually never saw a release outside of Japanese Laserdisc. I do wish his videos were a little longer, but if nothing else his videos serve as an excellent starting to point to find some older and underappreciated shows... or hot garbage fires. In this episode he talks about the 2 OVA episodes made based on one of my favourite manga, Yokohama Shopping Log. A Post apocalyptic anime about an android who runs a coffee shop outside of her house, and the quiet solitude of living in a world of declining human population, brief encounters with travelers and other people, and just... existing. The anime was never released outside of Japan and is only available on Japanese VHS and laserdisc.... but hey guess what!! Somebody uploaded both episodes, subbed, to Youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2HCVOH6DtA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqSTwfkobME

YMS’ slow descent into madness as he uncovers just how bullshit the Kimba Conspiracy is

I’m linking a full playlist for this one.

YMS is busy planning his review on the “live action” Lion King remake as the original 1994 movie is probably his favourite movie all time (and also self declared what made him a furry). As part of the 2 hour review, he decided to what all 2000 hours of Kimba the White Lion just to mention how The Lion King potentially stole the idea. ....until he actually watched all 2000 hours of Kimba and realised that if you actually WATCH Kimba, it has VERY little to do with the Lion King at all apart from having the same animals in them because AFRICA. Watch as one man slowly loses his mind as he realises just how stupid this conspiracy theory is, just HOW DECEITFUL and straight up LYING people can be. People who write BOOKS. People who teach LAW AT UNIVERSITIES. Because NOBODY bothered to actually watch the entire show and just parroted the “Disney stole this” lie which got started by like 2 salty fans on the internet.

The man set out to just mention how Disney stole an idea, and uncovered one of the most infuriating rabbit holes on the internet. Screaming for SOMEONE to provide him with sources or evidence.

YMS will be publishing his full Kimba documentary this month which he has said is around 2 hours long before he continues to work on the Lion King one.

Science Stories: Loch Ness eDNA results, Poop Knives, and Skeleton Lovers

TREY the Explainer has a video giving us some updates in Archeology from 2019. In this video he discusses the findings of the eDNA results conducted on the Loch Ness to see what animal DNA the lake contains which will tell us what living animals currently inhabit the lake, ancient knives made of poop and if this is a real thing that could have existed, and a skeleton couple found buried together which were at first thought to be lovers, then revealed to be both male, and then how in this instance we cannot let our modern sensibilities dictate what we WANT this burial find to be, but to look at the evidence as presented to us and place in context finds of this nature. The worst thing an archaeologist can do is look for proof to a theory they already have.

The Bizarre Modern Reality of Sonic the Hedgehog

Super Eyepatch Wolf is back and he’s here to talk to us about the very very strange existence of Sonic. a 90s rebellious “too cool for School” answer to Mario, a lost idea as the world of video games changes and culture shifted, a meme and punching bag amplified by a unique fanbase and poor quality games, a transcendence into a horrific warped  idea of what he once was, and modern day and where Sonic and his fans are now. As usual Super Eyepatch Wolf knocks it out of the park.

Kokoro Wish and the Birth of a Multiverse: A Lecture on the Work of Jennifer Diane Reitz

I don’t even sub to this channel as I’m not entirely sure what Ben’s usual content is about. But every now and then he has a “101″ class, where he explains to a room full of his friends in a classroom setting (complete with Whiteboard) an internet artist and oddity, the timeline, and what it is they have created. (wait... didn’t I say this already?). Unlike TRO however, the 101 classrooms are not a dark look into disturbed individuals (although the CWC 101 is debatable) nor is it a “lol look at this weirdo” dragging. Instead, of the 3 he’s done so far, it’s usually a rather sympathetic look at some of the strange artists on the internet who through some way or another, left a very big cultural impact on the internet space through their art. Sometimes they may not be the best people, but their work is so outside of what we’re used to seeing that just listening to him run you through these people’s internet history is fascinating.

In this episode he talks about Jennifer Diane Reitz. And although it is titled Kokoro Wish, the lecture is more about Jennifer’s larger work back in the early internet when being a weeb was unheard of, how being trans influenced her stories and characters, and her world building that is so rich and in-depth with it’s own ASTRO PHYSICS it puts any modern fictional world found in games or movies to shame.

Jennifer is not exactly a nice person... and in many ways can be seen as dangerously irresponsible, but she created something truly unique in a way that you kinda struggle figuring out if it’s terrible or a work of genius.

Anyway I think that’s enough for now

[johannesviii]

So I guess I have thoughts on The Timeless Children

If you’re expecting some well-organised meta this isn’t a good post for that, you should probably leave now

I probably forgot half the things I wanted to say because I waited 2 days to write this

Ok so first I have to say I’m disappointed that the horrible bullshit from the WW2 sequence of Spyfall part 2 wasn’t addressed at all. It means it was not part of some big plan and that Thirteen doing some horrible shit wasn’t foreshadowing, but just insensitive writing. Fine. Ok. I don’t like it at all but it, unfortunately, happens. Every single New Who showrunner so far has made a big mistake at some point or another so that doesn’t mean Chibnall is worse than Moffat or RTD, who also had their own qualities and flaws and some occasional horrible writing. It sucks, and it’s gonna taint Thirteen’s character for me. But I’ll live.

HOWEVER

THIS FINALE

Oh my god ok so uh first, Cybermen? again? But like? It was still interesting?? The designs were varied, and the Lone Cyberman had this whole Hellraiser-lite aesthetic going on, and that abandoned warship was straight out of Sword of Orion and I really enjoyed all of that. It’s a shame the Lone Cyberman was defeated so quickly, because he was a much more interesting “final boss” than the one from the previous season in my opinion.

The regenerating Cybermen were 100% ridiculous but it was the good kind of ridiculous and I loved it

I have to say something about the fam now but I don’t have a lot of thoughts about them specifically. I liked it when Ryan threw that explosive thingie and actually managed to hit the cybermen and was super hyped about that, though

OK SO

Look. I loved Missy. I adored her semi-redemption arc, and her self-doubt, and her ultimate decision to be good, just to be killed by her past self as a result, even though the Doctor wasn’t there to witness it. That was brilliant.

But.

This new Master. I already thought he was pretty great, but the way he’s been recontextualised in this finale? I?? Holy s h i t

I’ve said it already but the actor is doing a fantastic job

I wasn’t even planning to put pictures in this post but this shot is so incredibly good

So in my Spyfall post I pointed out that he was very aggressive and very performative in his evil actions, to the point where he looked like he wasn’t enjoying himself. He was, like, doing it to prove a point.

Turns out it was because the best way to make a new evil version of the Master after Missy’s semi-redemption arc was to base this new Master on INTENSE, DEVASTATING, SUICIDAL SELF-LOATHING

AND IT WORKS SO WELL??

AND I LOVE IT??

IT’S ALSO VERY UNCOMFORTABLE BUT LIKE? IN A GOOD, INTERESTING WAY??

The part where he gives Thirteen the key to stop him. And he doesn’t dare her to press that button. He’s begging her to press that button. He knows she will do it because she did it once before and he’s like go on. Kill me now. God

If you’ve ever been suicidal or even just self-destructive yourself, even if you’re, like, a nice person and not... well.... an intergalactic criminal like the Master is, seeing him being like “go on. Press that button. End me. Do it. NOW” is... extremely relatable not gonna lie

Thinking “oh mood” about the Master during one of his scenes is... not something I was expecting but here we are

Also I absolutely adore how all of his world-destroying rage against the Time Lords was basically fueled by “they hurt my best friend and only I have the right to hurt my best friend” that’s so in-character

SPEAKING OF WHICH

You already know I’m very in favor of fluidity in the DW canon. One of my absolute favorite DW stories I’ve read so far was Unnatural History, which basically said “the Doctor is an idea that exists across the entire multiverse and every origin story is true and every version is true and nothing is canon because everything is canon”

But I wasn’t very fond of one specific version of the Doctor’s origin story which is super popular in the Extended Universe crowd of fans, and that’s the Cartmel Masterplan. I won’t bore you with my full thoughts on it but I’m not fond of the idea of the Doctor being some sort of rebirthed god now on the other hand the idea that all Time Lords are eldritch beings and that the Doctor or the Master is Nyarlathotep-

But this isn’t what this finale is doing

So far the Doctor’s origin story in the tv series was basically saying “look. This character that grew up in a privileged and pretentious part of their planet’s society just had enough of that one day (for a reason or another or even several reasons) and decided to leave, and by traveling and making friends, they realised being kind was important, and they decided to help people instead of watching bad stuff from afar without doing anything.” And now this finale basically added: “That society of pretentious assholes? Yeah they actually adopted that character as a kid and exploited them like a convenient source of power, and at the root of their power there’s literal child abuse, and they had to erase that child’s memories so that the kid could be assimilated in the society built on their own pain“.

It didn’t change that many things about the Doctor as a character ; it DEFINITELY changed stuff about the Time Lords, but they have always been this kind of background menace, with evil founders and shady shit, so I think it’s very appropriate.

So yeah. If you ask me to pick one between “plot twist the Doctor is a god” and “plot twist the Doctor is a lost child with the ability to regenerate”, I pick the second one, definitely

The best part is, it doesn’t contradict anything really important. The Doctor didn’t remember any of this. At all. Their desire to run away, their eventual hatred of Time Lord society, their choice to be kind and to try to help where they can? This didn’t come from that completely forgotten past. They still grew up in a life of privilege after their memories were erased, and they still decided to run away. It’s still their choice.

It doesn’t even diminish later things, like Ten being afraid of dying, or River giving away her regenerations to Eleven. Because, again, the Doctor didn’t know any of that origin story. Just like Gallifrey being hidden in a pocket universe doesn’t erase or diminish Nine being completely destroyed by what he thought he had done. It’s still as good as before.

It does put that scene from Time of the Doctor in a different light, though! This wasn’t a new regenerative cycle being given to Eleven in the end, just unlocking a dormant potential.

I saw someone saying this episode was bad because it was saying nature was more important than nurture? But... the episode literally states the opposite very explicitly, with Ruth saying ”have you ever been limited by who you were before?”.

I also saw someone on twitter saying that the diversity in the past incarnations we briefly saw “felt forced” and. like. It’s 2020. Can we not do this again please

I have such a thing for identity crisis tropes and stories and adding a bunch of lives in the Doctor’s past is certainly that and it’s like opening a giant sandbox. Imagine all the things that are actually possible now. The stories you can tell in that nebulous past! And I’m so glad the Morbius Doctors were briefly seen too!

Hell, there’s even an open door right there if you didn’t like this origin story, built in the scenario, and I’m certain it’s on purpose: the Matrix projection didn’t tell us the child was the Doctor. The Master told us the child was the Doctor. You’re free to believe him or not. It’s not set in stone. And that’s even better in my opinion.

So yeah it was all very very Unnatural History and the only thing I disliked was how it was a bit too much “telling” instead of “showing”, but that’s a minor complaint.

If you disliked this story, you aren’t a “fake fan”

If you liked this story, you aren’t a “fake fan” either

If you like some parts of the show you’re a fan, and you’re free to dislike some other parts ; god knows I don’t like some other things in Doctor Who

The only fake fans are the people bullying other fans about what they should like or dislike

I can’t wait to see what the fandom is going to make with this new sandbox and I’m so glad to be enthusiastic about the tv series again

Have a nice day

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

Why Bioshock Rebirth Part 3 won’t be a thing for a while

Guessing that title will work. I think considering now and on this day. There isn’t much else to do. I’m finally gonna talk about this. This is gonna be a long one. I’ll think about adding a keep reading thing as I make this. 

If any of you are a Bioshock fan or follow me. Or whatever else. I have this reimagining AU named Bioshock Rebirth. It has people who like it. There are mainly three parts on my mind. 

Part 1 and 2 basically deal with Rapture. Which are basically a reimagining of the main stories of Bioshock 1 and 2. With the events of Minerva’s Den being the epilogue. Part 3 from my mindset would deal with something outside Rapture. But I’ll talk about that later.

Yet I feel like to me. The reason I am not wanting to make a part 3 as soon as possible. Because it’s really tricky for me. I think I’ll just make the points and what my plans possibly were. Including I am gonna publicly reveal what my version of Zachary Hale Comstock would of been. Which is may be the most craziest decision. Whether people like it or not.

Now I just finished this post. I’ll put the tag after I write this. I will reveal I have a Bendy reimagining AU on my mind. But I want Dark Revival to come out soon. Which is why I don’t wanna focus more time on part 3. Along with other things. I feel proud or so with my work on Rebirth. I’m glad people love this AU/reimagining of Bioshock I made. :) So I will add the keep reading option. Now here is my detailed development of part 3. Not everything about it is there. But it’s a lot.

1. Part 3 would of taken 5 years after Bioshock Rebirth parts 1 and 2. Parts 1 and 2 took place in 2002. While part 3 takes place in 2007. Meaning the character ages have changed.

Basically Archie Wynand is 28. Elizabeth Comstock is 24. Brigid Tenenbaum is 40. Eleanor Lamb is 22. Even though Archie/Jack and Eleanor had her their ages sped up by people. With Archie being 10 and Eleanor being 12. But again there ages were sped up. Also the Little Sisters and Big Sisters that have been rescued have grown up too.

It depends on what characters would return. Like Delta/Johnny being 42. Daisy being 34. Booker being 43. Considering it’s not in Rapture. I don’t know if many characters would of returned. Yet that’s because I didn’t start writing possibly the main story for part 3. In case if anyone is worried. Many of the Vox Populi are fine. They must of moved on with their lives with Rapture sadly being a mess.

2. From what I get. The main story again was outside of Rapture. I seemed to be going with my old ideas I had for this AU. A public Rapture or the idea of Rebirth’s version of Columbia.

Considering Rebirth was born from the mistakes and retcons of Burial At Sea breaking the multiverse. Basically me disowning, shaming, yet acknowledging that DLC. So the idea I seem to be going with is that Columbia is the aftermath and America trying to make their own kind of Rapture. A public Rapture in a way for tourists. Something kind of like Jurassic Park.

Yet I don’t think it would be fully in the sky. It would be an island on water. With possibly Rapture under it. They built it over Rapture. 

Again Columbia is like America’s pale imitation of Rapture. With Rapture being discovered by America. Basically making profit off of it. Despite how tragic the results of Rapture of.

3. More on the main story. I think what it would be or as of now is Archie, Elizabeth, Brigid, and Eleanor going to Columbia or America’s public Rapture to stop Comstock. Considering this city has become a mess. The original idea is that it some how became worse than the tragedy of Rapture. 

With Big Daddies and Little Sisters being legalized. And Splicers or so possibly becoming more I guess crazy. With an old or possible dark idea of a Splicer eating out of a Little Sisters neck. Yet that’s really dark and just me showcasing some how this place became worse than the original Rapture.

4. Vigor’s in Rebirth would of been America’s knockoffs and pale imitation of Rapture’s Plasmid’s being reworked by Jeremiah Fink to make them more accessible so that you don’t have to inject them into your wrists. You could just simply drink them. 

Basically again they are strangely knockoffs and pale imitations in a way.

Shock Jockey is Electro Bolt. Devil’s Kiss is Incinerate. Bucking Bronco is Telekinesis. While some are again knockoffs. But some are original being the other Vigor’s.

But considering an idea from my anonymous friend who has helped me with this AU. With them mentioning well I’ll copy what they said instead. I’ll put the “ around it.

“Ironic considering the stereotype about most of the world's products being inferior knockoffs made in China. I can imagine that Fink's imitation of Rapture's products might be even more unscrupulous and dangerous compared to the original versions in Rapture, as the greater capitalist system intersects with the small-scale capitalism of that city.”

5. To be honest and I want to get this out of the way. The reason I am not making part 3 right away. Because I want to see if the leaks about Cloud Chamber’s Bioshock 4 are really true. Spoilers.

Basically the leaks being about that Rapture seemed to have been discovered. Now London is at war with ADAM being used. You play as a character named Lucas with other characters like Eleanor Lamb joining you. I want to see if this is all true. So I can see how Cloud Chamber interpreted of how the world would react to a city like Rapture. 

While there are folks who have made criticisms about people discovering Rapture being the end of the world. Basically being critical about the Bioshock series going in a Resident Evil like direction. Which I can totally understand.

But I’m gonna be honest. I want to see what Cloud Chamber are doing. Yet this horrible thing I’m gonna say next. As someone who’s.....opinions of their planet and maybe species is I guess low....I kind of don’t care. Because I want to see the chaos of the consequences if a place like America discovered Rapture. 

It’s maybe my darker side and my action junkie side having the best of me. I am strangely interested to see Hell on Earth all because governments got fucking greedy with ADAM. Again my opinion on my planet and whatever else is tricky.

Fuck it like we as a species deserve it. But I’m sounding pessimistic. I want to see war torn London destroyed by ADAM junkies.

5. My direction for part 3 I feel is weaker and not as powerful as parts 1 and 2. Because the general idea of part 3 seems to be, “America is fucking stupid. Because it empowers young rich pricks like Zachary Hale Comstock and makes shit like Columbia. Our country needs to be fucking better if really are the land of the free” It feels less original and been done before.

Compared to the first two part’s stories of humanity, found family, love, forgiveness, empathy, and compassion. Along with other stuff.

While I recall my inspiration for this idea long ago was this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXjJOmRkN6s If I recall it being like an example of....America’s thought process of it thinking it’s awesome or whatever the Hell. I wanna say stupid thinking. But that video is awesome. Amazing what that person did.

Also my version of Comstock I feel is less threating and less interesting than the likes of villains like Andrew Ryan, Atlas/Frank Fontaine, and Sofia Lamb. Unless I really tap and dig deep into his character.

There’s also the other thing part 3 I feel unless I decided. It doesn’t deal with dimension travelling and all that crap.

6. There’s another thing is that I used many of the major characters from Infinite and incorporated them in Rapture. Such as Elizabeth, Booker, Daisy, and the Lutece twins. I haven’t done much with Annabelle because she sadly died before the events of parts 1 and 2. Also Bluto is practically Rebirth’s version of Songbird when he was in Rapture. He was the Proto-Daddy.

Fink and Comstock are the only major Infinite characters I haven’t used.

7. Bluto’s robotic corpse would of been found by Fink and Comstock. He would of been rebuilt into Songbird as being the supposed mascot and guardian of Columbia.

It’s also a way of torturing Elizabeth mentally. Because two men practically took her protective older brother’s corpse and rebuilt him as something else. With the added angst that Songbird still have memories of Elizabeth.

8. Another reason why I don’t feel so highly of part 3. It’s because it just seems unrealistic. Which may sound stupid. My ideas of America’s own Rapture like place becoming somehow worse than the original Rapture seem crazy.

Along with things like legalized Big Daddies and Little Sisters seems crazy. Despite how stupid my country is. The idea of taking human beings and turning them into that under an American government seems like bullshit. Unless they didn’t know. 

Yet it seems to be dissing on America. Considering the direction of Comstock I’m going with is more like, “We’re America and we are great.” Yet everything goes to shit.

Along with the crazy idea of the place being built in 5 or maybe 4 to 3 years. Which is why I wanted to give it a timespan.

Also it’s a fun easter egg that it’s the time span of the original Bioshock’s development. Unless I make part 3 in 2013. But don’t think I should.

9. There’s been a recent idea of Lucas being an antagonist. Something similar to the Arkham Knight from Batman Arkham Knight. But I should wait and see if this Lucas character is seriously real. Yet what I have read about him, he reminds me a bit of Booker.

I’m guessing and even was thinking a bit more in detail. Lucas being a US Marine who was born in 1981. He’s 26 during part 3. Possibly being an anti-thesis to Archie’s character. Now I’m thinking he may of met Arch during possibly tours. Even though they weren’t really friends but knew each other.

With Archie being an earnest and kind man. Now this makes sense. Lucas being jealous of Archie’s position as, “The Demon Of Rapture” and, “The Killer Of Fontaine”. Lucas being a bit more angry and less honorable than Archie.

Man these ideas make more sense than Comstock being an anti-thesis to Arch. Yet we also have Frank Fontaine and Booker Dewitt being anti-thesis to his character too. But the idea of Lucas is strangely perfect.

The ideas I am having are he’s Columbia’s poster boy of a super soldier. But without the horrifying results of Archie’s origin possibly. Since Lucas I’m imagining is more equipped with stuff(Again thinking of Arkham Knight)....fuck this is strangely perfect. 

Man we haven’t gotten more info on this who I am calling Lucas Parkside....fuck I thought of more of him being a deeper character or so.

10. But again about Bioshock 4. Considering Rebirth is the result of Burial At Sea and also Infinite breaking the multiverse. It combined the worlds of the main universe(Bioshock 1, 2, and the Rapture novel if you want to include that) and Infinite. Which resulted in a timeline where Rapture was made later during the cold war. Along with characters like from Infinite being more connected to Rapture because of the events of Burial At Sea.

Yet Bioshock 4 or those Parkside leaks. I question if I should put them in here too. Because it’s unknown if well the events of 4 happened yet in the main universe. Unless we take into the good ending being canon. With 4 taking take in the 70′s what I read.

I’m rambling, I’m sorry about that. Basically the events of the novel and first two games happened. But the events of Infinite and Burial At Sea disturbed the main universe. And whatever I’m using some weird comic book logic. 

Again I hope sometime but soon I want more information considering Bioshock 4. 

11. I guess I’ll just reveal this now. Including I called him a young rich prick. I gave a hint early on. In fact this character was hinted at in memes. But him combing in Comstock was something I was surprised by long ago. Yet I felt I guess could be genius or whatever.

Only two friends of mine know. The anonymous friend. And also @feckinatlas

Zachary Hale Comstock in Bioshock Rebirth would of been the Mark Zuckerberg of Bioshock.

While there was the idea of making him the, “Radec” or something similar to make him more threating. But Booker is already that. Including the Mark Zuckerberg angle is something I’m interested in.

Yes Comstock is Rebirth is younger than his main universe counterpart. He’s also not Booker and possibly not related to him.

One of my original ideas was that he’s a year younger than Elizabeth. But I changed that and may make him possibly 30 or so. Or even Archie’s physical age or 29.

An old idea I even told Feckinatlas that him being Fontaine’s kid. But Frank never knew about him. Practically making even more of a terrible father. Yet I don’t know if I’ll go with that idea. Yet it seems better than Comstock being a kid of Booker. Which I don’t like. I was trying to keep the Booker and Comstock connection. I’m still wondering now.

Yes I think that’s all I’ll reveal now.

Edit I forgot this one other important thing. Oh crap two actually.

12. Considering Ava Tate survived and escaped Rapture. She would of been one of the villains in part 3. Basically she sided with Fink and Comstock. Ava is kind of like that character who might not care what side she’s on. Despite she has redeeming qualities in her.

13. Even though this wasn’t part of the main story. To be honest there are ideas that one of Elizabeth’s looks is like her Burial At Sea look. Yet she’s not a femme fatale. Basically it was the idea of her and Archie going undercover. With Elizabeth trying to pose as a femme fatale. Which in reality she isn’t. She’s still the same joyous girl that people love. It’s something a bit more strangely adorable.

Also Brigid tried to teach her some stuff of trying to act different. I remember talking about this with my anonymous friend. It’s mainly silly and adorable stuff before meeting her seeing Ava. Like Arch being pouty that he may have to put on a tux. When he’ll put on something like maybe Clark Kent would wear. He doesn’t wanna look like a rich prick and would rather have black ops gear on. While Brigid and Elizabeth find it adorable and funny he doesn’t wanna dress like Ryan and whoever else. Despite they would kick him out if he looks very normal.

But again Brigid teaching her some tricks. Along with Elizabeth trying to smoke to look cool. But she coughs and again it’s adorable. XD

This idea is like before the main story. But I should develop it more. It could still be before the main story. I wanted to share this because I forgot about it. 

[comicbookuniversity]

My Problems With X of Swords So Far....

SPOILERS!!!!!

As of this post, we are 16 of 22 chapters into this crossover event, the first of the Krakoa Era. I want to start off by saying that I have largely been enjoying this era of X-Men overall; I came for Jonathan Hickman taking over the franchise, but spent some of my quaruntine time catching up on the other titles and mostly enjoyed them. I am by no means an X-Men expert or superfan, but I know my lore pretty well and am a fan. That being said, let’s dive into this mess.

I want to give credit where credit is due, the first half of this event has been well crafted. The writers, as apparently led by Hickman and Tini Howard, have worked to create a consistent tone across all of the books and it shows. This is clearly an event crafted with care and skill. And aside from the error on Bogdanovic’s part, the art teams have been on point delivering great looking books. Considering this, the pedigree of the teams, and again, Jonathan Hickam, the guy who Marvel trusted to end Stan and Jack’s creation in Secret Wars, leading this event- this is should by all measures be much better than it is. Even if it didn’t live up to the aforementioned event, it should still be better than what we’ve got because of the ideas we’ve got on the page. I think these are all interrelated problems with the event, but I’m going to list them individually as I see them.

The Problems

1. Pacing- This largely effects the first half of the event, considering how the backhalf has changed, but we spent nearly 10 issues of the X-Men simply gathering their prophosized swords as ruled by the host of the tournament between the two sides, Saturynye. During this time, we did not get a lot of ideas of strategy or spycraft to learn more about a largely unknown enemy. We got a lot of decompressed character introspection, and even a set up to Al Ewing’s upcoming SWORD book (looking majorly forward to that book). This meant that we didn’t learn a lot about these characters that we did not already know to try to drive up the emotional tension that I don’t believe worked as the internal stakes did not match the scale of the external threats- the end of a utopia. This might have worked more if there were less of it and thus getting right to the heart of the matter. But the event spent so much space on spinning it’s wheels for.....what reason? Why was it necessary to give so much time this aspect compared to other possibilities? This brings me to my next problem.

2. The Promise of the New- One of the great things about this event is how it rewrites what we know about Apocalypse to make him more interesting while giving us a huge new set of characters and lore to get to know and love with the revelation of a whole secret history of mutants on Earth and then the history of the exiled mutants to what basically amounts to a Hell after fending it off from taking over Earth. It’s genuinely a great addition to Apocalypse and the franchise as a whole. I am supremely excited about the future of the Arrako people, but we spent 10 issues of the X-Men gathering swords while learning very little about this new land and new people. We learned about Solem a little bit and how he relates to the rest of Arrako, but that’s basically it. We are 16 issues in and we don’t know a whole lot about this lands or even more specifically the histories of Swordbreakers of Arrako. We know a little, but in all that time where the characters of X-Men and Arrako could have been interacting and building relationships to actually have drama beyond one side is coming to dominate the Earth for ancient reasons, we got next to nothing. And even as the tournament has started, the information and drama between the new side is minimal; enough to make the move the narrative forward but that’s it. I’m not saying I need a whole history course, but I definitely feel like we should know more than we do know about Arrako. I think we’ve in fact learned more about Otherworld than Arrako, which brings me to my next problem.

3. Otherworld....Why?- Seriously, why? It’s pretty clear both before and after Secret Wars that it isn’t necessary to travel through Otherworld to travel the multiverse. So...why? Because they want to build up Otherworld as a new playground for future stories and to connect othe ongoing drama of what had been happening in Excalibur, which...ok. Look I get that it helps to develop long unused properties to breath new life into them, but what does Otherworld have to do with Arrako other than apparently you have to travel through it to get to it? That seems forced to me and it does nothing to heighten the drama of the battle between Krakoa and Arrako. It forces a war to become a tournament, but other than that....again, it really doesn’t add anything. Otherworld’s role in this story is completely unnecessary. It’s easy to imagine this story without Otherworld. If Otherworld played a less forced role and a role that made more sense to the conflict, I wouldn’t have a problem with it’s inclusion or learning as much as we have about it. But, we’ve been given more information about various parts of Otherworld that have not been important and we could have spent that time learning more about or developing the relationships of Arrako/Krakoa.

4. A Tournament of the Absurd- I know I complained about it taking ten issues just to get our two sides into the same room for conflict, but then it took another three before we got to our first conflict. We were over half way through the crossover and no one had drawn their sword against their would-be enemy in favor of an overly theatrical and long dinner where we finally got some relationship building but were still not at the main draw of this attraction- the duels or whatever type of conflict it would really turn out to be. Literrally anything that involved the swords being used for combat got pushed back until like 60% through this story, which is squandering the promise of the premise. But finally, this week get got the to the action, and it was nothing like anticipated. Our first match lasts less 3 pages, which could be exciting if we understood what was going on with how the nature of the loss, but then it ‘s undercut by a plot point that makes very little sense and does not give the characters involved any real agency. An unexpected romance or marriage is always a nice surprise in a story like this, but this crossover doesn’t earn it. The characters are literally whisked away against their wills and told to marry each other without knowing a thing about each other, nor can they communicate with each other. If the marriage was a solution because of the two sides coming to an arrangement by the two sides talking it over or if it had been the two newlyweds plan based on their own insights and choices, then this idea would have been wonderful. But again, literally taken against their wills without warning and forced to marriage for the sake of two societies without it even being clear that this really advanced the cause of or guarnteed the safety of either side. Then we move forward to a fight that has promise only to be immediately stopped from fighting to participate in a childish contest between two obviously mismatched opponents that makes the contest one sided. Like, What The Actual Fuck? Why avoid the fight in favor of that contest? One clearly has more entertainment value than the other. Fuck it, fine, let’s see if Wolverine is given a fun fight. His first match (yeah, we’re getting too much Logan here) has potential, but the creative team decides to make the fight more psychedlic to the detriment of clarity of choreography and thus removes tension. It’s a style choice that pulls away from the fight and then the victory is undermined by a bullshit twist of the rules that compounds the lack of clarity into greater frustration. Then Wolverine is transported to a drinking contest against a teammate? Like, why? What does this do for the story? There’s a brief line used to justify it and the next thing it sets up, but it’s weak. It’s fucking frustrating, because developing the relationship of these two characters could have easily been handled differently rather than wasting one of the spots in the tournament for a point that is given instead of earned. I will give the third match a pass as that was actually what the story promised; intrigue and violence between the players.

At this point, unless something major changes, I’m calling it here: X of Swords is bad. It wastes is promised premise, it wastes it’s time, and it wastes it’s potential. The problem is that this is clearly crafted by people who generally know what the hell they’re doing, but for some ungodly reason their talents are not being put to their fullest. We’ve seen all of them write better stories; heck, the ongoing stories before the crossover started were better. Even if something major happens to really hook me back into this story that will only change my opinion from bad to mediocre because we’re already 75-ish% done with story, and that means all these problems will always be true. I really hope the characters of Arrako stick around after this story, because I think they have immense potential, but this is just a bad start. I know there are people out there that are happy with this story, and I’m happy for them. But, I hope I am not alone in seeing these problems. Let me know if I am not alone.

[mattzerella-sticks]

Constants (9.5k Supernatural fic) (ao3 link)

Meeting with alternate versions of themselves makes Sam and Dean think about what the landscape of the former multiverse might have looked like - or, really, "If there can be multiple Deans and multiple Sams, can there be other versions of things they know. Like... Baby?"

Dean says no. There's only one Baby. She's got four wheels, black paint, and has been his from the beginning. Sam thinks otherwise.

Let's explore what the possibilities of Deans, Sams, and Babys in different universes might look like.

Earth-1

           Dean wanders in with two beers, lifting them high as he enters. “There are our last two,” he calls, “Gonna have t’go on a supply run tomorrow!” Sam barely responds, nodding, too focused on his phone. “Hey,” he continues, setting the beers down in front of Sam. Slamming his brother’s hard. Not even a flinch. “Who’s that? Eileen?”

           Sam rolls his eyes, grabbing for the beer. “It’s us.”

           “Come again?”

           “Us,” Sam tells him, flashing his phone screen, “Other us. Rich us.” Dean takes the phone, bringing it closer for a better look. There, on the screen, were them. Somewhat. Half of the other Sam’s face appeared, mouth cut off by the camera. His hair sat atop his hair in a messy bun. Behind him, dressed in a flowing, flowery kaftan and holding an empty cocktail glass, was Dean’s reflection. Dean’s doppelganger points out at a beautiful skyline from the balcony of whatever hotel they camped in.

           “God,” Dean winces, “they sure are living the life, aren’t they?”

           “Of course they are,” his brother snorts, stealing his phone back. “They don’t have God breathing down their necks.”

           Dean sighs, collapsing across from Sam. “True… you think it’s too late to switch places?”

           “They’d never,” he scoffs, sipping his beer, “not even for your entire porn collection and Baby –“

           “Don’t joke about that,” Dean splutters. “Wherever we’d go, Baby’d come with us.”

           “Seriously?”

           “Absolutely. She’s… she’s Baby. Our Baby.” Dean waves his bottle around, droplets of condensation flung in all directions. “They might look like us, but they ain’t us. That Dean wouldn’t know what to do with her… probably’d toss a wad at some mechanic to fix her up instead of getting his own hands dirty…” Dean scowls, glaring at his beer bottle’s mouth. “Like, did you see their hands? Hardly any callouses… and they were too smooth. Bet he never spent hours over a sink trying to wash motor oil outta his nailbeds.”

           Sam leans back in his seat, enjoying the spiral of his brother’s tirade. Although he’s not fully present watching him. Curiosity circling around a tiny thought. Like sharks homing in on discarded chum. Before he realizes it, Sam asks, “You don’t know. Maybe they had their own Baby?”

           Dean pauses mid-sentence, gaze drifting from the bottle to Sam. “What?”

           “Just saying…” Sam shrugs, stringing together his next few words carefully. Uncomfortable with the dangerous glint shining in Dean’s eye. “There are probably an infinite number of universes – sorry… were. And on them, their own Dean and Sam. Maybe they had their own Baby’s?”

           “That better be a joke, Sammy,” Dean growls, sloshing some of his drink out of the bottle’s tiny mouth with how forcefully he points it at him. The splash nearly wets Sam’s knuckles. “You cannot even compare Baby to that – that… that mint green disgrace those losers showed up in.”

           “I wasn’t trying to compare!”

           “Because there’s only one Baby.” Dean can sense he overreacts, the ferociousness twinging his voice surprising him alongside Sam. He cannot contain the fire raging inside. “She’s special, and she’s unique, and she’s ours. There might’ve been a million you’s, and there might’ve been a million me’s… but throughout all of existence, no matter what Earth, there’s only one Baby!”

Earth-16

           Dean tosses two Jack’s, face-down, “Two twos –“

           “Bullshit!”

           He glares at Sam, dimples like craters on his cheeks. “You sure about that?” Dean asks, fanning his cards out. “You think I couldn’t have two twos in my hand? Or,” he gestures at the pile, “do you want all these cards?”

           Sam levels his own stare at Dean, dialing up the contempt. “Dean, I played four two’s three rounds ago – if you were paying attention you’d’ve known that. So, pick… them… up!” He barks fake laughter on beat, although it quickly becomes genuine as Dean gathers the pile. They’d gone the entire game without calling each other out, practically the whole deck was in Dean’s grip.

           The last few cards were in Sam’s hand. But not for long.

           He slides three cards down, grinning. “Three sevens.”

           “Dammit!” The cards spill onto the table, a few falling over the edge. Dean’s body sags, head dangling between his legs. “I can’t believe I lost!”

           “Serves you right for trying to trick me. Twos… what were they anyway?”

           “Jacks.”

           “Why wouldn’t you just say that, then?”

           “Because the game’s boring when you tell the truth all the time!” Dean drags tired hands down his face, pulling at his skin. “Out of all the chances you had to call bullshit, just when I was so close…” He slaps the table, mood reversing immediately. “Let’s play again. Best three out of five!”

           Sam sighs in agreement, gathering the cards. Except, as he does, a shadow steps into view. Someone reaches forward and slaps his hands, forcing him to drop the cards. More falls onto the floor. Hissing, Sam glances up at the intruder.

           Rufus stands over them, brow arched wryly. “No more games, you two,” he orders, “you were supposed to start cleaning a half-hour ago.” He kicks the bucket filled with supplies near Dean’s chair, almost toppling it over. It wobbles, sound echoing around them. “Get to it,” Rufus says, walking away, “And when you’re done, do a full inventory check.”

           “Rufus!” Dean yells at his retreating figure, “You know I restock her after every call!”

           “You think that makes a difference? Full inventory check – and I want the report on my desk.” Rufus ends the conversation, bounding up the stairs towards the second floor. Undoubtedly hiding away until the alarms blare and spurs them all into action.

           Dean folds his arms across his chest, huffing. “Don’t know why we gotta wash her again,” he mutters, “I washed, dried, and detailed Baby this morning!”

           “Yeah,” Sam says, gathering the cards again, “but we were out earlier, at that apartment fire?”

           “We weren’t close enough for ash to get on her roof.”

           “Then maybe he’s doing this because he caught you fooling around in her body the other night,” Sam reminds Dean, standing. He throws the box of cards at his brother, snickering at how he fumbles the catch. He places it down with a grumble. “Why you thought you’d get away with it…”

           Dean rises, too, blush creeping up his neck past his blue, uniform collar. “I was making sure her vitals were okay, that’s all…”

           It’s a poor excuse; they both know it. He grabs for the bucket’s handle, hiding from Sam’s condemnation. “Sure.” They shuffle out the break room into the apparatus bay, passing by their fellow teammates enjoying down time. “But hopefully you’ll think twice before playing doctor.”

           “As if. I’m seeing her tonight. And,” Dean wiggles his fingers, grin wide on his face, “this time I’ll be helping her check for lumps on her breasts!”

           “Gross, what are you – fourteen?”

           “Dude, you’re just jealous…” Dean trails off as they pass the last fire truck and enter the ambulance territory. His face lights up in that special way when he catches sight of her, that eases the tension in his shoulders and injects more bounce in his step. No matter how much he might whine about caring for her, Sam knows Dean would gladly work overtime – has worked overtime – in keeping her in top shape. Their home away from home, where they travel the city helping those in need.

           Dean knew her longer. Told stories about his assigned truck over dinners, in his free time, and whenever Sam had free time when studying for his exams. Sam never truly understood how an ambulance could leave such an impact on one man. Why he’d give her a nickname, and say it so fondly. It was a car. A means to and end. Drives them where they need and nothing more. But then Rufus chose Sam for his squad, made him and Dean partners.

           Then it made sense. She wasn’t an ambulance. Baby – Dean’s affectionate nickname for her – was part of the team. The third member of their operation. Without her, they’d be ineffective. Once, after a gnarly crash that took Baby out of commission for a month while they repaired her, they drove another in the interim.

           It didn’t handle right. Dean found the clutch sticking every now and then, the pedals squeaky. Sam’s response time doubled because he couldn’t remember where the necessary instruments were. Working inside that replacement was hell, and there were too many close calls.

           When they saw Baby waiting, almost brand new, during their next shift, both he and Dean nearly broke down. Dean denies it, but he let a few tears slip free.

           Luckily, since then, they haven’t been separated. Through squad rotations, disasters, and aging, none of them felt ready for retirement.

           “Y’know,” Dean says, wiping at her front window. Sam on the other side, doing the same to her mirror. “I was wondering… how’d Baby look if she were painted black?”

           “Black?” Sam asks, “Why black?”

           “Dunno… it’d be cool, right?”

           “It’d be ominous as fuck, Dean.” Sam’s lips pinch, holding back laughter. “How’d you feel if you were bleeding out and a large, black truck came speeding at you?”

           Dean winces, picturing the image. “Yeah, okay… I get it.” He steps away from Baby, tossing the rag over his shoulder. “Still be cool, though.” Clapping, he looks at Sam. “So, do you want to do the inventory or should I?”

           “Rufus was clearly talking to you when he said that.”

           “But you’re the one who spends all his time back there. I should be calibrating the brakes, making sure her on-board systems are synced, y’know…”

           Sam glowers, slapping her hood with another rag. “Dean, I am not doing your work for you.”

           “But Sam –“!

           Ringringringringringringringringringringring

           The apparatus bay becomes awash in a flurry of activity. Firefighters scrambling from their posts, jumping into their uniforms. Both Dean and Sam scan the room as it seems like the entire building rushes for the exits.

           Dean brushes a gentle hand across Baby’s hood. “Guess Rufus’ll have to wait for that inventory report.”

           Sam agrees. The three of them have lives to save.

Earth-84b

           Dean closes his eyes as the wind hits his face, savoring its caress. His feet push off the pedals, legs stretched straight while they roll down the hill. He can hear Sam’s ragged breathing in front of him, still cycling. “Dean,” he growls, “stop fooling around and help. A bicycle built for two means it needs two people to work it.”

           “I know,” he says, “I’m the one who bought Baby. Not you.”

           The curve of the hill flattens out, and Dean blinks his eyes open. He resumes pedaling, chasing the high that only comes from riding Baby with his brother on a perfect, summer day.

Earth-1 A-corn

           Dean knows the human toy takes up space in his nest he could use for storing more nuts. The oblong piece of plastic serves no function and draws blank stares whenever other squirrels visit his nest. But he dares not throw it away.

           Seeing the toy brings him as much joy as it did when he first laid eyes on it one afternoon, spying on little humans. Captivated him, put Dean under its spell. When the two were called back by an even larger human, Dean scurried forward. Sniffed it. Laid a paw on its wheel and spun it. Hearing the click and whir made him giggle. As the wheel’s spinning petered out, Dean came to a decision.

           He carried the toy home, where it has become a part of his family. And every member of Dean’s family deserves a name.

           So, he calls her Baby.

Earth-R0ck

           “Where in the bloody hell can your brother be?”

           Sam shrugs, spinning his drumsticks in hand. “I saw him chatting up that reporter from Rolling Stones on our way out from the venue…”

           Crowley stops, pressing his phone against his shoulder. No doubt trying Dean’s number again. “Rolling Stone?” he hisses, “And why didn’t you stay with him?”

           “Wasn’t that kind of interview…” Sam saw the glint in Dean’s eye, shifting back into his stage persona as he strode over towards the blonde with the press pass. She didn’t look too impressed with his brother, but Dean charmed stiffer lips. He only hopes his brother doesn’t bring her back to the bus for a quickie. Sam would prefer not being locked out in the bitter cold.

           Like they are now.

           “Why your brother insists on keeping the keys…” Crowley mutters, rolling his eyes. He holds his phone up once more, flicking it off with a heavy scowl. “I’m going to go find him. And if I have to see his naked ass, balls deep in this reporter, then I’m dropping you two as my clients.”

           Sam calls to his departing figure. “No you won’t!” He chuckles at Crowley’s one-finger salute, watching the shorter British man enter the club.

           A beat passes, drumming the air. If needed, he could wait there until Dean finishes or Crowley brings him back with blue balls. But he feels something land on his head. And another. Then, on his nose.

           Snowflakes.

           “Damn…”

           The flurry shows no signs of stopping. Increasing with each passing minute. When white powder dusts his shoulders, Sam makes a decision. He rises, shaking snow off of him. “Sorry about this Baby,” Sam says, patting the section of their bus where her name was spray-painted, “but I’m gonna get a little handsy.”

           This was not the first time Sam said this. Nor did what he does now. When the brothers were first starting out in their band, and all they had were their instruments and Baby, Dean had an abandonment issue. Finding fans in the audience and following them home, keys still on him as he wouldn’t let anyone drive Baby but him. If Sam couldn’t find his own bed for the night, then it’d be him and the asphalt.

           Until he learned this neat little trick.

           Sam wedges the backdoor open, easing it. Making sure the hinges don’t break. Assured Baby is fine, Sam starts shoving their equipment through. “How many years,” he growls, rolling his drum, “and I haven’t made a duplicate key yet?”

           The drums were hard but loading Dean’s guitar takes seconds. Sam steps onto the bus, halfway in, when he hears his brother, “What did you do?”

           He looks behind him. Dean, ruffled and fuming, stands next to an equally displeased Crowley. Sam smirks, fully lifting himself into the bus. “I got tired of waiting.” Shutting the door on Dean’s yelling, Sam settles in for a drive filled with shouting, cursing, and more shouting. If he’s lucky, he’ll be asleep soon.

Earth-1969

           Dean’s grip on his wheel tightens, negativity surfacing despite the groovy music, chill vibes, and the sweet smell of grass that drifts about the cabin. “Seriously,” he mutters, watching another group of people traipse by from the driver’s seat, “we’ve been here for over an hour. How have we not moved yet?”

           “Dude relax…” Sam chuckles from the back, sprawled across the shag carpeting they installed weeks before, gutting most of the van’s interior for greater mobility. Joint dangling out of his loose grip, “We’ll get there when we get there.”

           “Easy for you to say…” He shifts his attention from behind to the traffic again. An inch of space opened, but Dean keeps their van stationary. Doesn’t expect a miracle like traffic clearing up any time soon. Dean sighs, dragging his legs up and onto the dashboard. Stretches out until his toes poke at the windshield. Reaching into the back, he curls his fingers. “Let me have some.”

           “What’s the magic word, Dean?”

           “Quit stallin’ – I bought the damn grass, Sammy!”

           Sam pokes his head up, dropping the joint in his waiting hand. “It was please. You knew that.” He rests his chin near the other headrest, sighing. “Do you think you’ll be this pissy when we get there? Or will you let yourself enjoy the concert?”

           Dean sucks down his hit, hissing a breath between clenched teeth. “I’m sure it’ll be a real gas, Sammy… if we ever get there.”

           They’d been looking forward to this the entire summer. This being Woodstock. Three days of peace, love, music… and people. Too many people. Probably half the country, Dean thinks, taking another hit. All the other kids like Sam and Dean who traversed great lengths for a taste of freedom. Escaping from under the oppressive thumb of the man.

           Their ‘man’ went by the name John Winchester. When he heard where the brothers were headed, he was anything but pleased; actually, he forbid them from leaving. Confiscated Dean’s keys and grounded them.

           He did not go far enough, given how he and Sam idled a few miles outside Bethel. Dean stole back his Baby’s keys and left a little special treat for John. One good trip deserves another, and maybe once they return their father will be in a better mood. Groovier. More attuned with a higher plane of existence.

           Although Dean wishes he kept some of that acid on him. Reaching a higher plane sounds pretty nice. Emptier, too.

           “Hey,” Sam shakes him from his reflection, “look at what they’re doing!” He points past Dean, finger bending against the windshield near his feet. A car drives off the road and onto a nearby shoulder. It rolls to a stop, doors flung open as an entire tribe pours free. They gather their bags and join the crowds pouring through the cracks between cars. Like fish swimming upstream. Swimming home. “Maybe we should do that, too?”

           Dean scowls, pushing Sam’s arm out of his way. “Like hell I’m abandoning Baby!”

           “She’ll be fine, Dean. There’s no way she can get hurt here…” Sam drops both his hands on Dean’s bare shoulders, kneading the skin there. After taking the joint back from him, though, and biting on the end. “How can anyone get hurt – feel bad or… or do harm – when we’re this close to paradise?”

           It’s a convincing argument. Dean resists being swayed easily, however.

           He cannot leave Baby on her own. Not after everything they’ve been through. Not the first real thing that is his.

           Dean spotted her on his twentieth birthday. Taking a break from work, bumming a joint from his co-worker Ash, they watched Bobby haul in a wrecked van with his rusty tow. She creaked and groaned, sparks trailing behind as her bumper scraped the ground. Ash nudged him, chuckling, “She’s a piece of work, ain’t she?”

           He agreed, for a different reason. Time stretched at that moment, seconds passing like days. Dean felt a powerful force shake the core of his very being, Bobby bringing her close enough that his gaze caught both her headlights. She called out.

           And he answered.

           “It’s not like she’ll be doing good, sitting out there – collecting dust with the other scrap,” he argued. Paced Bobby’s office, fingers twitching through his hair while detailing all the reasons he deserved the wrecked van. “And you can take out whatever parts I use in repairing her from my pay. Hell, I can work on her overtime and you don’t have to give me shit.”

           Bobby steepled his fingers together, slouching in his chair. Face impassive while he absorbed Dean’s rambling. His silence exacerbated his nerves, Dean tasting copper from how hard he bit his lips. Finally, Bobby sighed. “I was gonna use her for scrap,” he says, standing, “but if you can get the ol’ gal working… she’s yours. Besides, ‘bout time you had something other than that pansy ass bicycle you got.”

           “Thank you, Bobby, thanks…” Emotion swelled from within, Dean at a loss for words. Instead, he threw his arms around his boss, squeezing him tight. “Thank you.” Jumping off, he fled the room. “I promise, she’ll be perfect!”

           That began a beautiful, but maddening, relationship.

           She was on his mind all the time. If Dean were working on another car, he wondered if she would need the same maintenance. While eating dinner, he thought about the many joints he could swing by for a quick bite. A few times, while in the throes of LSD, he envisioned her appearing in front of him. Honking, revving an engine he hadn’t fixed – her ways of communicating. During one of these trips, she told him her name.

           “Baby?” Sam asked, sitting on the ground a few feet from where Dean worked. Pencil in hand, midway through a sketch. “She told you her name was Baby?”

           Dean poked his head out the hood, wiping at sweat camping above his brow. “Yeah. I mean… don’t know why I didn’t see it before. She looks like a Baby, y’know?”

           “Whatever.” Sam continued drawing, bangs falling over his face, “Hey, you think you can get her working by Sunday night? Heard there’s a party downtown, and the band they booked will be far out.”

           “Maybe if you lend a hand?”

           Sam ignored Dean’s pleas for help. Dean carried on, not expecting an answer. His brother never had the talent for cars like he did. Honed under Bobby’s gruff tutelage. He left his mark on Baby in his own way, painting a psychedelic landscape across her body after the mechanics and interior were finished.

           Together, they brought new life to a magnificent beauty. She repays them by delivering them where they need.

           Which, if they left her now, would be like a betrayal. Baby had already been cast aside once, on her deathbed. Dean cannot leave her. Even if the first day of Woodstock arrives and they were still in this same place.

           “Dean…”

           “I can’t, Sam,” Dean winces, fiddling with his pendant. Shifts, feet on the pedals again. “I just… yeah, nothing should happen. Can’t help think that…” He trails off, gazing out the window. Thoughts disappearing, burned up from the radiant light of an angel who deigned catch his stare.

           He’s gorgeous. Mussed, raven hair, blue eyes tinged red from grass, and a frumpy, suede jacket marked with scratches and scuff marks. The man briefly passes the door, one of the many walking. He smiles, then carries on conversing with his friend.

           Sam waves a hand in front of Dean, breaking the connection. “Dean?” he asks, “Hey, hey Dean? You okay there? …This was some weak shit, brother, shouldn’t hit you too bad.”

           “What? No… it wasn’t – wasn’t the grass, dude.”

           “Then what?”

           “I…” Dean tries finding his angel, sees him being swallowed by others. Soon he’ll be gone. And it’d be in fates hands whether they meet again. Unless…

           Suddenly the song on the radio fades, replaced by another. It’s one Dean doesn’t recognize; the station name is as unfamiliar. At some point the signals must have switched, a notorious problem Baby has. He listens as the melody begins, building to the chorus. The chorus plays, and Dean knows. And he smiles.

           Dean pulls over, shifting into park. Sam tumbles from the sudden jerk, “What are you doing?”

           “Parking, Sam. Don’t you know?” He takes the keys, shoving them in his pocket. “We’re gonna walk the rest of the way.”

           Sam blinks, smoke creeping past his lips. “Why the change of heart?”

           “It’s like the song, Sam… everything’s gonna be all right!” Dean hops out of Baby, Sam clambering alongside him through the side door. “Come on, let’s get going!”

           “What about our stuff?”

           “We’ll come back for it later – come on.” He drags his brother off the grassy patch and onto the hot pavement. The fleeting regret of not grabbing his shoes flits by, feet burning with every step, but he grows accustomed soon enough. They enter the meandering pack, Dean looking back at Baby one last time.

           She waits there, encouraging him forward. Always.

Earth-G00-g4

           Sammy rocks with the motion of this strange, red box he’s sat in, crawling along slowly. Older brother Dean grunting as he tugs on the handle. “We’re almoth there, Thammy,” he says, stopping, the bright red box rolling into his legs. Jostling Sammy as it stops. “Juth a few more blockth.” Dean looks behind at him, bright smile encouraging one on Sammy’s face. He gurgles and claps his hands together, bouncing. “That’s right! Get pumped! If we’re gonna take down those monthers, we’ll need t’be ready!”

           He has no concept of what Dean means when he talks about ‘monthers’. But from what he gleans, Sammy thinks it’s a game they’ll be playing. Reinforced as he notices the busted fire hydrant they always pass when visiting the park with Mommy.

           Vibrating now, Sammy shakes the red box. Babbling, going on about how excited he is for whatever game Dean thought up.

           Dean gnaws on his lip with the one front tooth still in his mouth. “Careful with Baby, Sammy… you’re gonna tip her over!”

Earth-10k

           “…with state-of-the-art tracking upgrades, undetectable weapons systems, and the most fuel-efficient engine the geniuses in R&D spent weeks agonizing over,” Dean slaps the roof of the pale teal smart car parked among rows of sleek, shiny, luxury vehicles, “Baby Number Twenty-Three is prepped and ready for our next hunt.”

           Sam snorts, raising his glass in celebration. “That’s all well and good, Dean… but can we still get NPR?”

           “Still get NPR?” Dean giggles, lips stretched in a tight, droll grin. “Samuel, the dashboard computer has an entire library filled with NPR’s back catalogue that we can listen to without a signal.”

           “Good. Then we won’t be stuck listening to classic rock like during our last stakeout.”

           “Ugh, don’t remind me. I’m still trying to scrub my memory of the awful noise.”

           “Took me three hours with some freeform jazz. Why don’t we put that on while we finish up this bubbly?”

           Dean agrees, leaning through the window and hitting a button. Saxophones, trumpets, and an enchanting snare drum pour from the speakers. He sighs, leaning back out. “Now this… this is music.”

           Sam reaches across the roof, tipping his glass. “Here, here.” Dean brings his own glass close. Clink!

Earth-783

           Baby’s retired, but still loved. Hangs proudly on a wall between framed photographs of a young John Winchester, standing beside her on the beach with medals draped around his neck. Taken down whenever she loses her luster, and either Dean or Sam wax the shine back on her sleek, black wood.

           Years after John’s death, no one takes her on the waves. Out of respect: for her, their father, and the bond they shared. Nothing more sacred than the love of a surfer and his board. They own a variety of boards – collected them. Beautiful boards, expensive ones, and the special few that have earned the brothers trophies, medals, and titles.

           But there will only be one Baby.  

Earth-2390.45

           Sam waits by the open hangar doors, two beers in hand. Charlie stands nearby, binoculars held in shaky hands. “He’s cutting it a bit close, isn’t he?”

           “This is Dean we’re talking about,” he tells her, “you know how he gets when he’s up there.”

           “But he radioed in he was almost out of fuel! And that the left wing felt loose, and -”

           “He’ll be fine,” Sam says, nudging her. Charlie looks away from the skies, glaring at him. He offers her one of the beers. “You know it. How many times has he flown her?”

           She sighs, taking the drink. “Practically all his life…” Sipping at it, she frowns. Gestures wildly with her binoculars. “Still, I feel like recently he’s been taking too many risks. Making things more difficult than he needs!”

           “Maybe he has,” Sam shrugs, “maybe it’s gotten boring, doing the same thing day in and out. So what if he bends the rules a little.”

           “It matters when he could crash!”

           “No, Dean wouldn’t go that way.” Sam smiles, Baby’s shape growing as she descends. Silhouette sharpening, engine growing louder. “He might be pushing his limits. Seeing how he can handle different situations… but we both know how much he loves that plane. Dean’d never do anything that puts her in jeopardy.”

           Charlie hums. “I… guess your right.”

           “Although,” he amends, grinning at her. Baby skidding to a stop on the runway, advancing towards them, “you can definitely chew him out for all that, too.”

Earth-200

           Day after day, it’s the same routine. Sam and Dean return to their trailers at around four o’clock. They strip out of plaid shirts and denim, leaving their boxers and – if they were wearing them before – tanks on. For the next two hours, the brothers drift throughout the trailer while getting ready. Still undressed, powdering and painting their faces. Sometimes interrupted, like when one of their friends stops by for some quick gossip. Or Cas the fire swallower stops by, flirting with Dean as Sam perfects the curve of his eyebrow. If that runs long Sam will shoo him away with his wig, dragging Dean from the door.

           It’s one of those nights.

           “I don’t know why you won’t do anything,” Sam chuckles, fitting the rainbow curls over his head, “You two’ve been in love since we were kids.”

           Dean’s glare shines through his reflection, although the massive red make-up smeared across his lips and fake tears under his eyes reduce the effect. “Shut up,” he says, applying more rouge, “it’s not… he wouldn’t be interested in me like that. ‘Sides, his dad is our boss. Wouldn’t that be awkward?”

           “I think it’d be awkward if you didn’t,” he says, “if he’s anything like our folks, Bobby’s already planning your wedding.”

           “Shut up…”

           Sam adds the last touch, adhering his bulbous red nose with some glue. He studies his face in the vanity mirror, checking for any mistakes. There’s none. Years of practice meant his mind could wander aimlessly but his hand will ensure a clean, finished mask every time. A mask for the people. A mask of his heritage. A mask that transforms Sam Winchester into Sammy the Angry Clown, straight man of the Campbell Duo.

           Odd how, when he was younger, Sam never imagined a life like this. Like the one his parents’ imagined for him. Fought them at every turn, even applying for college. To become a lawyer. “A clown without the joy,” his dad called it.

           But that’s the past. Now, he’s climbing into his multi-colored pantsuit and stuffing his large feet into even larger shoes. Dean does the same, handing Sam some ruffles while he searches the trailer for his shoes. “Do you know where I put them?”

           “Check the chest,” Sam says, “I might’ve thrown them in there while cleaning.”

           “Why were you cleaning?”

           “To practice my unicycle.” Sam grabs some bowling pins stacked beside their sofa. “I didn’t want to trip over them and crash through the window… again.”

           Dean snorts, digging through the chest per Sam’s instructions. “That was your own fault. Wasn’t my magazine left splayed open on – found ‘em!” He pulls the floppy shoes free, waving them around. His accomplishment doesn’t last. Dean notices that the sole peels around the toe box, and by poking at the tear he rips it further. “Dammit… I’m gonna look like one of those hobo clowns.”

           “Why don’t you wrap some duct tape around your shoe,” Sam tells him, rising. “You’d still look like a hobo, but you won’t scare any kids with your funky feet.”

           “Funny. What are you… a clown?”

           “Takes one to know one, Dean!” Sam opens their trailer door, stepping outside, “I’m gonna go make sure our act’s ready. Why don’t you find me when you’re done getting ready?” Dean yells at him, Sam missing it as he lets the door slam behind him – cutting his brother off.

           He traipses through the field towards the main tent, nodding along whenever someone passed. Never staying for a conversation. The other acts and crew could see he was busy, juggling the bowling pins. Always practicing, always perfecting. Dedication to the craft both embedded in his DNA and taught early on. Gifts his parents gave.

           Like this. A small, yellow bug splattered with multi-colored spots and with multiple dents along her body. Her name messily scrawled on the driver’s side door – Baby. His father’s car, that he and his mom would perform in when they still clowned. The only thing John had of his father, that he passed on after hanging up the big, red shoes.

           Sam slows his juggling, catching the third pin on its last arc. He shuffles the trio into one hand while he lifts the trunk with his other. The rest of their supplies lie in wait, left in usual chaotic dysfunction. Dropping the pins, Sam mentally checks off each part of the routine as he inspects the props.

           Dean arrives halfway through, Sam handing off the giant, flake flower. He accepts it, pinning it on his tie. “Is it full?”

           “Yep,” Sam helps feed the tube through his collar, watching Dean tug it down until the pump sits at his wrist. Dean’s fingers twitch. “Don’t even think about it. Save it for the act.”

           “You’re no fun.”

           “That’s the act, isn’t it?” Sam chuckles, closing Baby’s trunk. “Or is your memory getting spotty in your age?”

           Dean rolls his eyes, shoving lightly at Sam. Sam responds in kind, nearly knocking Dean into some elephant dung no one cleaned up. He leans on Baby while he cackles, fighting the tears threatening to spill over. A nice distraction comes from Dean, who rams into his side. They streak over Baby, rolling off her and onto the hay-covered floor. Struggling, drawing the attention of everyone dawdling backstage.

           They dirty their outfits some, but there’s enough time before the show starts. Sam expected some mishap, schedule built-in with extra time for unforeseen accidents or brotherly spats.

           Day after day, it’s the same. He and Dean will cram into this tiny car, shoulders aching from how they press against each other. Packed in like sardines. Waiting for the musical cut that will send them into the ring. They’ll circle and circle while the audience claps, stopping when the tiny amount of gas in Baby’s tank runs dry. Then their long legs will unfold, stepping out under the spotlight.

           The act begins, and Sam cannot fathom a life without the roar of the crowd, his brother by his side, and their family’s chariot. Without laughter.

Earth-4499

           Providence seems more a dream than an actual destination. Especially after they sacrificed one of their oxen for meat, their reserves dangerously low.

           “Don’t worry, Sam,” Dean says, rubbing his shoulder, “we still got the other. And Baby. We’ll be in Oregon by November!”

           Sam doubts that, the fall chill cutting through their thin button-downs. His temperament was not aided by an earlier stumble in some mud, robbing him of dry shoes. Right now, he bundles another blanket around his bare feet; shuddering a ghostly breath while Dean whips the ox forward.

           Baby, their large Conestoga, might look sturdy. But her wheels creak more with each passing day. From an outsider’s perspective, she looks safe. They would be shocked hearing how, when fording a river, she tipped. Brothers nearly drowning under her weight. She might appear warm. But Sam’s frostbitten fingers and red nose prove its faults.

           Dean wouldn’t part with her for a better model, however. “She’s family, Sam,” Dean says, “When ma and pa set forth, all they had was her. We’ll do the same.”

           Sentimentality might be their downfall. Soon, Baby won’t be a wagon. Nor will she be a reminder of their home. Baby will be their coffins.

           Sam sneezes, and hopes it’s the only one for the day. His rumbling stomach already offers its own worries.

Earth-92

           Days like these Dean wishes he kept working. Jack kept kicking his seat, an arrhythmic pattern that forces his lips into a stern frown. And between his crying and Claire’s complaining, Dean misses most of what his husband says. “Can you please repeat that?” he asks, spinning the dial towards its highest setting.

           “I said,” Cas’s voice booms, Dean wincing from the sound, “That the doctor called my cell. He was able to fit me in Saturday at four. You’re not using the car, then, right?”

           “No, I –“

           “Jack! Stop it, you can’t have my phone while I’m using it!”

           “I wanna turn! I wanna turn!”

           “One moment…” He eases the brake pedal, slowing before the red light. Then, Dean whips around to face his children. “Jack, Claire, can you please keep the volume down while your pop and I are talking?”

           Claire huffs, leaning forward. Out of Jack’s reach, his youngest straining in the car seat for her phone. She types on it, not looking at him. “Tell that to Jack. I’m talking with Alex.”

           “Won’t you be seeing her in five minutes anway?”

           “It’s important –“

           Someone honks from behind them. Dean checks the traffic light, seeing green instead of red. “Shi-shoot.” He switches pedals, watching the road again. “Claire, give Jack one of his toys and put your phone away.”

           Claire groans, stomping her foot. “Why should I?”

           “If he can’t see it, he won’t want it.” After a moment’s silence, Dean checks the rearview mirror. She disobeys him, still using it. “Claire, I swear if you don’t put that away I’m driving us home.”

           “But dad –“

           “Don’t ‘but dad’ me, baby girl. Away.” Tone stern, he glimpses her shove the phone in her gym bag. Then grabs a dropped toy nearby. Dean sighs, focusing ahead of him – and on his husband. “Sorry about that.”

           “No need,” Cas chuckles, papers shuffling in the background, “I enjoy it when you’re the bad cop. It doesn’t happen every day…”

           “Because I hate it,” he grumbles, checking his blind spot while switching lanes, “so when you get home, ground Claire.”

           “Why?”

           “I don’t know. Make one up, and then I can talk you out of punishing her and be the good cop again.”

           “Dads, you know I can hear you, right?”

           “Quiet sweetie, adults are talking!” Dean hits his blinkers, making the left turn when appropriate. “So, the doc’s got you coming in that late? Is it important?” Nerves make his voice crack on the last word, and Dean hates how it does.

           Cas hums from the other end, Dean imagining his husband’s pinched expression while he chooses his words carefully. To not worry him. “She mentioned something cholesterol. I think she wants to see me about my diet.”

           “If that’s all,” Dean says, drumming his fingers along the wheel, “you better not sell me down the river.”

           “I’ll try not to, but if she asks why I eat an abnormal amount of sweets I’ll have to be honest.” Cas laughs, Dean’s chest warming from the volume. At this volume, it feels like the soundwaves wrap him in a warm blanket. “Oh, I have to go. Your brother’s pointing at his watch from outside my office. I think we’re supposed to have a meeting?”

           “Then what are you still doing on the phone?”

           “Telling you and Jack and Claire that I love you. All of you. And Claire, good luck at practice today!”

           “Thanks, dad!”

           He hangs up, Dean lowering the volume before the radio comes back and deafens them. Unfortunately, he wishes it would. Because as Cas disappeared, his children’s bickering started up again. Jack upset that Cas didn’t wish him ‘good luck’. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t taking a karate class, nor comprehended what the concept of luck was. Claire received well wishes, he didn’t, and that is what he took away from the call.

           They worked Dean’s last nerve. His vision blurred from the stress, Jack’s tantrum doubling in its fury. He drove on autopilot, too busy keeping calm. Finally, after Jack’s figure was thrown and hit the front windshield, Dean felt the straw rip. At the next red light, Dean acted.

           “That’s it,” he turned, leaning into the second row. Claire and Jack stopped fighting immediately, staring at him with wide eyes. Dean must look crazed, but he cannot care enough to soften his features. Their fighting ripped off the warm blanket Cas’s voice provided, and he was chilled from the sudden exposure. “You two will sit quietly for the rest of the ride, otherwise when we get home it’s dinner and nothing else. Got it?” Claire nods sullenly, Jack fighting tears welling under his eyes. Dean’s heart seizes seeing his son upset, and that helps break frenzy fogging his senses. “I’m sorry for blowing up like that,” Dean says, calmer, “but when daddy’s behind the wheel he needs to concentrate. Otherwise people can get hurt. We could get hurt. And nothing would make me feel worse than if either of you kids were hurt because of me. I love you both too much to let that happen, okay? So please… be good?”

           “Okay, daddy…” Jack sniffles, wiping at his eyes, “sorry…”

           “Thank you, Jack.”

           Dean retakes the wheel as the light turns green. It’s a block from Claire’s dojo, Dean readying his blinker. When he hits the gas, however, the car stays still.

           By the time he realizes that, a semi-truck speeds through the intersection. Blowing its red light. Dean chokes back his curse, cars honking around him.

           “Dad?” Claire asks, pitching forward in her seat, “Dad, what happened?”

           “The uh… the car…” Dean steps on the gas pedal again, working now. He slowly inches through, drifting towards the first open space he finds. When parked, Dean’s composure fractures completely. Shattering into dust that piles in the footwell.

           They were almost… that truck – it’s idiot driver – almost totaled their car. Did the very thing he warned Jack and Claire about. Images of bent metal, crumpled bodies, and blood cause the bile in his stomach to threateningly react. He squeezes his eyes, breathing deep until those pictures are replaced with soothing blankness. Counting, using the tricks his therapist imparted after his last big crash all those years ago. Getting his mind off the what could have happened and onto what did.

           He’s safe. His kids, Claire and Jack, they’re safe. The car is –

           The car. Dean hit the gas pedal but it didn’t budge.

           At the dealer, when Dean searched for a new car after his old lease was up, the salesman hyped up all the new features. Sam listened with a skeptical ear, always asking questions. The right ones. Ones that made Dean feel smarter about his choices. He was in the car, too, with Dean and John. That fateful night.

           “And this new safety feature?” Sam asked, dragging his hand along the black hood, “how exactly does it work?”

           The salesman pointed at the front bumper. “It’s got built in sensors that are connected to the dashboard system. If it detects any danger, it can react faster than a human could. So if you and your husband –“

           “Brother.”

           “Right, brother, sorry, were driving –“

           “This is his car. Not mine.”

           “Well… if he’s driving, and he’s distracted because of something. And doesn’t see a pedestrian coming. Maybe a kid chasing a ball into the street… the car would stop for him.”

           Dean knew which car he was leasing, then. Waiting for the sales pitch to wrap up so he can sign the three-year contract. A year in, though, Dean might screw the lease and buy the car fully. Make her the last Baby they ever get.

           The Baby that survived.

Earth-32

           Sam slams on the wheel, cursing as their car sputters off the road and onto untouched gravel. “No! No no no…”

           “Sam!” Dean turns in his seat, gun still smoking. “Why’d you stop?”

           “I didn’t,” he tells his brother, punching the wheel. It honks, rolling somewhat. Inching forward. “Damn car’s broken.”

           Dean scowls, gun tilting dangerously towards him. “Don’t you talk about Baby like that.”

           If there were time, Sam would calmly tiptoe through an apology while explaining what he meant in a manner Dean’s sensitive ego would appreciate. Unfortunately, Sam can hear the sirens approaching. And dust from the barren plains rides the gust, stinging his eyes. Compound his irritation from Baby’s fit. Meaning he accepts Dean’s twitching trigger finger without worry. “I don’t think we’re getting out of this.”

           “Yes we are,” Dean says. He shoves the gun at Sam, jerking a thumb behind him. “Switch with me. She just needs a more practiced hand s’all.” While rounding the dark grey Ford, Sam stares into the distance. Red and blue flash, appearing over the curve. Dean ignores them, whispering for only his Baby. “I knew I should’ve been at the wheel. Even if it meant we were cutting it close.” Sam enters as Dean tries the ignition again.

           Baby coughs, struggles, and then falls silent.

           “No,” Dean groans, anger heavying his tone, “don’t be mad at me, girl. It’s me. Ol’ Dean…”

           Sam thinks up a silent prayer. Sends it off in case there were angels listening. “Dean,” he says, laying a hand on his brother.

           “We’ll be okay,” he lies, grin laughable despite how hard he tries. “We’ve been in worse scrapes before… always got out. Just another story for the news to run s’all. Winchester Brothers escape once more with their spoils, baffling pig cops and the king of sows himself, Ness…” Dean keeps up turning the keys. She doesn’t even feign a response at this point.

           “Dean.” Sam tears Dean’s hands away. They’re shaking. Or maybe he is. Both of them are, knowing what waits them in the next few minutes. “It’s okay.”

           Dean stares at his lap, tears threatening to spill. Like all his life, Dean reels them back before they can fall. “You think this was how we were gonna go out?”

           “Always feared it might happen,” Sam admits, checking the ammunition in Dean’s tommy. Half-spent. “But I guess it’s par for the course when you do what we do. Did you?”

           “No,” he shrugs, “even know it doesn’t feel… real, y’know? How could this happen to us? Dean and Sam – they called us the Untouchables. We’re fucking legends.”

           “Maybe we weren’t the legends we thought, then.” A depressing thought that makes Dean slump further into his seat. Sam can see the sirens without turning his head, cars skidding in their approach surrounding them. He reaches for his gun, past the bags of money, and tosses it. Dean catches the heavier weapon. “But if we are… let’s hope there’s truth in that saying. About legends never dying.”

           “Winchesters!” a deep, gravelly voice shouts from outside. Eliot Ness no doubt. “Come out with your hands up! If you make this easy on yourselves, I promise we can put you up in a nice pad behind bars where you belong!”

           Dean looks past Sam out the window. Probably at Ness, himself. Meeting his stare. A tension existed there that went far beneath their professions and duties. He glances at Sam, “At least we’re going together.”

           “Let’s give ‘em hell.”

           Sam fires two shots as he exits the car. Dean barely opened the driver’s side door. Bullets rained upon them like a maelstrom, piercing them. Turning them into dust like that which they came from.

           It comes in moments. Sam being held in Dean’s arms as their farmhouse burnt in front of them, mother lost. A drunk father who could barely raise a decent crop when America thrived. Days and days spent with a nose buried in books. When he took breaks from those, Dean made sure he lived life. Swimming in creeks, riding horses. Asking girls on dates after his brother talked him up.

           Loans on the family property eating away at his father, more than the booze ever did. Burying him in a shallow plot near their mother. Losing the farm, thumbing across the country alongside every other victim of this Depression.

           The hunger, the sleeplessness – the bank manager with poor temperament and slippery fingers. Their first robbery. So unpracticed, he and Dean only found their getaway car after committing the crime. Stealing her, too.

           She was more than a car, though. She was home when the heat was scalding, and getting a room risked their lives. She was a symbol, of Dean and Sam, of their notoriety. She was their friend, helping them sort through issues.

           Fitting, that when she died, so did they.

           He blinks, feeling lightheaded. Body sluggish from blood loss. A shadow steps forward, bending, revealing Ness’s tanned face. Ness removes his hat, scanning Sam’s limp figure.

           “Seemed a lot taller in the reports…”

Earth-81a

           Dean polishes Baby’s handles one last time, loving how she glints in the sunlight. He rocks on his heels until gravity tips him over, forcing him onto his ass. Leans back, hands resting on asphalt as he pulls his knees towards his chest.

           “Hey,” Sam calls, “who said you were done?”

           He ignores his brother, staring at his beautiful Baby. “I am done, Sammy,” he drawls, “look at her… she can’t get any more perfect.”

           Sam scowls, rag draped over Baby’s sidecar window. “Why don’t you help with this, then?”

           “No way,” Dean chuckles, “not how it works. Y’know the rules: whoever rode Baby last cleans Baby, and sidecar…”

           “Cleans sidecar…” Sam finishes, dunking the rag in a nearby bucket. Water sloshes and spills from the force of it. “Dumb rule though,” he mumbles, “especially when you purposefully drove through that mud pit.”

           He grins, “There was no avoiding it!”

           It’s not the truth, but neither feel the need to expose it.

           Dean spotted the mud while idling at a red light, Sam busy scrolling through his tablet. Reading about a possible case in Texas, where hikers were washing ashore with holes in their chests. Construction went on nearby, piling the mud as they excavated a water-logged field.

           He took a detour. Drove particularly close, waving at the construction workers while doing so. Sam yelped, frozen, mud sloshing against the sidecar. Some spilling into his lap and coating his sleeve. Then Dean sped past, hiding his laughter with Baby’s engine. Gaze pulled from the road every few seconds as Sam’s disgust proved too distracting.

           Served him right, though. Dean balanced the scales, retribution for when Sam glued a suggestive sign on his helmet when he sat in the sidecar. Only realizing when they stopped for lunch three states deep.

           “Why’d you do that,” he hissed, crumpling the notecard in his shaking fist; ‘I DO ANAL’ unintelligible from his strangling.

           “What?” Sam poorly hid his pride behind a milkshake, shoulders shaking, “It’s not wrong.”

           Dean spent longer than expected sifting through memories. Wading out of his mind, he sees Sam standing. “You done?”

           “No,” he says, picking up the bucket, “but I’m tired. Think I’m gonna take a nap.”

           Nodding, Dean focuses on Baby again. Drawing him from her was hard, especially after cleanings. “Dump that then, since you’re done.”

           “Okay…”

           Splash! Cold water races down his shirt, fabric sticking. He shudders a harsh breath, gasping from the shock of both the water and Sam’s action. His jaw hangs open, Dean slowly turning his head. Sam above with a terrible smile on his face. Innocent in name only. “You…”

           “Have fun with that, Dean!” He drops the bucket, scurrying for the motel room. Dean jumps, sliding somewhat from the suds. A tiny obstacle that impacts him greatly, Dean reaching Sam when the motel door closes. Slamming against it, Dean bangs and bangs.

           “Sammy! You open that up!”

           “Sorry, Dean, I can’t hear you! I’m sleeping!”

           Minutes seem like hours, Dean pounding the door until he gives up. Slinks back, defeated. Seeking comfort in a familiar shape.

           He stretches across Baby’s seat, careful of his still-dripping clothes. Dean caresses her front light, sight, “Sam’s a big ol’ meanie… leaving him high and wet out in the cold… what are we gonna do to him next?”

Earth-406

           It’s simple work, but it’s good work. It’s their work.

           “Help me with this,” Dean says, motioning Sam over. His brother adjusts his cap, tucking flyaway back under while he crosses the deck. Dean, bent, fingers slipping on the heavy net, breathes a sigh of relief when Sam latches on. “Three, okay? One… two… three.”

           They haul their catch over the edge, fish fighting the entire time. Their hands were whacked with tails and bit by snapping jaws, but they stayed firm. Pulling the rest of their haul up until all the fish flopped and died.

           “Whoa…” Sam wipes his brow, picking up one of the fish, “these are huge. You sure Cas didn’t find this place near a toxic waste dump?”

           Dean huffs, “Maybe they’re on whatever diet’s made you so big and strong?” Sam shoves at him, nearly forcing him off the boat as his foot slips. The fish underneath him taking revenge. He grabs Baby’s edge, catching himself. “Keep laughing, Sammy,” Dean drawls, glaring at his brother, “but how funny would it’ve been if I fell overboard and you had to do this all by yourself?”

           “You’d’ve just gotten wet, drama queen.” Sam clears fish away with his feet, pushing them into piles they can easily manage. “Now quit playing around. We’ve got to get these packed away before they spoil. Otherwise this whole trip’d been a waste.”

           He rolls his eyes but does as instructed.

           Packing fish into Baby’s large cooler went by fast, Dean’s autopilot guiding him. Dean and Sam could do this while sleeping, so comfortable with these tasks. Having been on the sea since they were little, helping their father work on his boat. They did their homework on Baby, played on Baby, and when John took her far beyond usual paths, slept in Baby.

           When he grew too old, he passed her onto those he knew would treat her right. Those who can uphold the family business. Men who have been fishing for all their lives.

           It’s simple work, but it’s good work. It’s their work.

Earth-0

           Sal finds his irritation fading when he sees his brother, Dean, stride towards a familiar car. “Dude,” he says, eyes widening in shock, “is that -?”

           “Yep,” Dean answers, stroking his hand lovingly across her hood, “I’m glad you didn’t forget Baby.”

           How could he? They both grew up in her, the blue 1965 Mustang the only home Sal ever knew. Staring at her, a million questions sprout like weeds in his mind. What’s she doing here? Why does she look this good? Is the army man he lost years ago still stuck in her ashtray? Of all those thoughts, Sal voices only one. “Dad lets you drive her?”

           “He gave her to me,” he tells Sal, opening the driver’s side door. “Now come on, we can talk more about her while we’re on the road. Longer we drag our feet, the more likely dad’s in danger…”

           It’s not great motivation for Sal, but he slides in without a fight. Brushing his thumbs on the leather seating, he pushes thoughts of his father to the back of his mind. Instead thinking about all the good memories; those he has of Baby, and coincidentally, of Dean.

Earth-1

           Sam winces, Dean advancing too close in his tirade. “Okay, okay… sheesh. It was only a question. I didn’t mean to threaten the weird relationship you have with your car.”

           Dean relaxes somewhat, shoulders still tense. He drains his beer in a single gulp, fingers flexing against the glass bottle. Given enough time, left alone, he can unwind once more. Although a thought strikes Sam that makes him risk his brother’s temper. Teasing too tempting.

           “Y’know,” he chuckles, sliding his beer across the table. Back and forth. “Maybe in one universe, Baby isn’t a car. Maybe Baby’s a person. And that Dean and that Baby are finally fucking –“

           “Sammy…” The slight edge of warning underlying his voice should give Sam a good idea as to the line he treads. “Don’t you…”

           “Or does Baby being human even matter to you?”

           “That’s it!”

           Sam jumps out of his seat, avoiding Dean’s flailing hand. Flees while his brother climbs over the table, spilling what little remained of his beer. He hears his pounding footsteps after him, audible even though his own cackling bounces off the walls.

           “Sam! Dean –“ They pass Cas and Jack, having hurried when hearing the commotion. Sam keeps moving, the distance between him and Dean lessening with each breath. How, Sam doesn’t know. Of the two, Dean’s only form of exercising aside from fighting monsters was running his mouth. But that’s definitely his hand brushing his shoulder. Dean urged on by pride, and the need to defend his Baby’s armor.

           He makes a sharp left, skidding. Dean slams into the wall. Sam looks behind, briefly, spotting his brother’s fierce glare and tempered smile. “I’m gonna get you, Sammy!” he shouts, barreling towards him, “And when I do…”

           They shoot out into the garage. Sam runs for safety, finding Baby. Dean follows.

           Circling her, they take turns gasping for breath. They feel young – younger than ever. Decades worth of trauma shaved off, wrinkles smoothening, and souls lighter like when they were children. Hell, Heaven… Lucifer, Michael, and Chuck… all distant, fading dreams too impossible for reality.

           Soon, Dean’s irritation fades. He forgets why he chased Sam into the garage. Sam notices the brighter mood of his brother but doesn’t needle him further.

           Why spoil such a rare moment? Another good memory for Sam, Dean, and Baby.

           Our Baby.

[za3k]

2020 Videogames

In 2020 I’m newly retired, so I’ve had free time. I think it’s fun to do reviews, so without further ado here’s every video game I played in 2020!

I recommend:

(4/5) Among Us – Very fun. It’s only fun with voice chat with friends, so I’ve only gotten to play once or twice. I’ve been watching it more than playing it. Also free to play for mobile gamers–I’m tired of the “everyone buys a copy” model of group gameplay.

(4/5) Brogue. Brogue is an ascii-art roguelike. It’s great, and it has a nice difficulty ramp. It’s a good “quick break” game. I play it in preference to other roguelikes partly because I haven’t done it to death yet, and partly because I don’t need a numpad?

(4/5) Cook Serve Delicious 3. One of the more fun games I played this year. You get really into it, but I had trouble relaxing and paying attention to the real world when I played too much, haha. I own but haven’t played the first two–I gather this is pretty much just a refinement.

(4/5) Green Hell. Price tag is a bit high for the number of hours I got out of it, but I haven’t finished the story. Great graphics, and the BEST map design I’ve seen in a 3D game in a long time. It feels like a real place, with reasonable geography instead of copy-pasted tiles. I love that as you walk along, you can just spot a cultivated area from the rest of the jungle–it feels more like it’s treating me like an adult than most survival games. Everything still gets highlighted if you can pick it up. I played the survival mode, which was okay but gets old quickly. I started the story mode–I think it would be fine, but it has some LONG unskippable scenes at the start, including a very hand-holdy tutorial, that I think they should have cut. I did start getting into the story and was having fun, but I stopped. I might finish the game some time.

(4/5) Hyperrogue. One of my recent favorites. The dev has made a fair number of highly experimental games, most of which are a total miss with me, but this one is fun. I do wish the early game wasn’t quite as repetitive. Failing another solution, I might actually want this not to be permadeath, or to have a save feature? I bought it on steam to support the dev and get achievements, but it’s also available a version or two behind free, which is how I tried it. Constantly getting updates and new worlds.

(4/5) Minecraft – Compact Claustrophobia modpack. Fun idea, nice variety. After one expansion felt a little samey, and it was hard to start with two people. I’d consider finishing this pack.

(4/5) Overcooked 2. Overcooked 2 is just more levels for Overcooked. The foods in the second game is more fun, and it has better controls and less bugs. If you’re considering playing Overcooked, I recommend just starting with the second game, despite very fun levels in the first. I especially appreciate that the second game didn’t just re-use foods from the first.

(4/5) Please Don’t Press Anything. A unique little game where you try to get all the endings. I had a lot of fun with this one, but it could have used some kind of built-in hints like Reventure. Also, it had a lot of red herrings. Got it for $2, which it was well worth.

(5/5) Reventure. Probably the best game new to me this year. It’s a short game where you try to get each of about 100 endings. The art and writing are cute and funny. The level design is INCREDIBLE. One thing I found interesting is the early prototype–if I had played it, I would NOT have imagined it would someday be any fun at all, let alone as amazing as it is. As a game designer I found that interesting! I did 100% complete this one–there’s a nice in-game hint system, but there were still 1-3 “huh” puzzles, especially in the post-game content, one of which I had to look up. It’s still getting updates so I’m hoping those will be swapped for something else.

(5/5) Rimworld. Dwarf fortress, but with good cute graphics, set in the Firefly universe. Only has 1-10 pawns instead of hundreds of dwarves. Basically Dwarf Fortress but with a good UI. I wish you could do a little more in Rimworld, but it’s a fantastic, relaxing game.

(5/5) Slay the Spire. Probably the game I played most this year. A deckbuilding adventure through a series of RPG fights. A bit luck-based, but relaxing and fun. I like that you can play fast or slow. Very, very well-designed UI–you can really learn how things work. My favorite part is that because it’s singleplayer, it’s really designed to let you build a game-breaking deck. That’s how it should be!

(4/5) Stationeers. I had a lot of fun with this one. It’s similar to Space Engineers but… fun. It has better UI by a mile too, even if it’s not perfect. I lost steam after playing with friends and then going back to being alone, as I often do for base-building games. Looks like you can genuinely make some complicated stuff using simple parts. Mining might not be ideal.

(5/5) Spy Party. One of my favorite games. Very fun, and an incredibly high skill ceiling. There’s finally starting to be enough people to play a game with straners sometimes. Bad support for “hot seat”–I want to play with beginners in person, and it got even harder with the introduction of an ELO equivalent and removing the manual switch to use “beginner” gameplay.

(4/5) Telling Lies. A storytelling game. The core mechanic is that you can use a search engine for any phrase, and it will show the top 5 survellance footage results for that. The game internally has transcripts of every video. I didn’t really finish the game, but I had a lot of fun with it. The game was well-made. I felt the video acting didn’t really add a huge amount, and they could have done a text version, but I understand it wouldn’t have had any popular appeal. The acting was decent. There’s some uncomfortable content, on purpose.

(4/5) Totally Accurate Battle Simulator (TABS). Delightful. Very silly, not what you’d expect from the name. What everyone should have been doing with physics engines since they were invented. Imagine that when a caveman attacks, the club moves on its own and the caveman just gets ragdolled along, glued to it. Also the caveman and club have googley eyes. Don’t try to win or it will stop being fun. Learn how to turn on slo-mo and move the camera.

(4/5) We Were Here Together. Lots of fun. I believe the second game out of three. Still some crashes and UI issues. MUCH better puzzles and the grpahics are gorgeous. They need to fix the crashes or improve the autosave, we ended up replaying a lot of both games from crashes. It’s possible I should be recommending the third game but I haven’t played it yet.

The Rest

(3/5) 5D Chess with Multiverse Time Travel. More fun that it sounds. If you play to mess around and win by accident, it’s pretty good. Definitely play with a second human player, though.

(1.5/5) 7 billion humans. Better than the original, still not fun. Soulless game about a soulless, beige corporation. Just play Zachtronics instead. If you’re on a phone and want to engage your brain, play Euclidea.

(3/5) A Dark Room. Idle game.

(1/5) Amazing Cultivation Simulator. A big disappointment. Bad english voice acting which can’t be turned off, and a long, unskippable tutorial. I didn’t get to actual gameplay. I like Rimworld and cultivation novels so I had high hopes.

(3/5) ADOM (Steam version) – Fun like the original, which I would give 5/5. Developed some major issues on Linux, but I appreciate that there’s a graphical version available, one of my friends will play it now.

(4/5) agar.io – Good, but used to be better. Too difficult to get into games now. Very fun and addictive gameplay.

(3/5) Amorous – Furry dating sim. All of the hot characters are background art you can’t interact with, and the characters you can actually talk to are a bunch of sulky nerds who for some reason came to a nightclub. I think it was free, though.

(0/5) Apis. Alpha game, AFAIK I was the first player. Pretty much no fun right now (to the point of not really being a game yet), but it could potentially become fun if the author puts in work.

(4/5) Autonauts. I played a ton of Autonauts this year, almost finished it, which is rare for me. My main complaint is that it’s fundamentally supposed to be a game about programming robots, but I can’t actually make them do more than about 3 things, even as a professional programmer. Add more programming! It can be optional, that’s fine. They’re adding some kind of tower defense waves instead, which is bullshit. Not recommended because it’s not for everyone.

(3/5) A-Z Inc. Points for having the guts to have a simple game. At first this looked like just the bones of Swarm Simulator, but the more you look at the UI and the ascension system, the worse it actually is. I would regularly reset because I found out an ascension “perk” actually made me worse off.

(5/5) Beat Saber. Great game, and my favorite way to stay in shape early this year. Oculus VR only, if you have VR you already have this game so no need to recommend. Not QUITE worth getting a VR set just to play it at current prices.

(1/5) Big Tall Small. Good idea, but no fun to play. Needed better controls and level design, maybe some art.

(0.5/5) Blush Blush. Boring.

(3/5) Business Shark. I had too much fun with this simple game. All you do is just eat a bunch of office workers.

(3/5) chess.com. Turns out I like chess while I’m high?

(3/5) Circle Empires Rivals. Decent, more fun than the singleplayer original. It shouldn’t really have been a separate game from Circle Empires, and I’m annoyed I couldn’t get it DRM-free like the original.

(3/5) Cross Virus. By Dan-box. Really interesting puzzle mechanics.

(4/5) Cultist Simulator. Really fun to learn how to play–I love games that drop you in with no explanation. Great art and writing, I wish I could have gotten their tarot deck. Probably the best gameplay “ambience” I’ve seen–getting a card that’s labeled “fleeting sense of radiance” that disappears in 5 seconds? Great. Also the core stats are very well thought out for “feel” and real-life accuracy–dread (depression) conquers fascination (mania), etc. It has a few gameplay gotchas, but they’re not too big–layout issues, inability to go back to skipped text, or to put your game in an unwinnable state early on). Unfortunately it’s a “roguelike”, and it’s much too slow-paced and doesn’t have enough replay value, so it becomes a horrible, un-fun grind when you want to actually win. I probably missed the 100% ending but I won’t be going back to get it. I have no idea who would want to play this repeatedly. I’m looking forward to the next game from the same studio though! I recommend playing a friend’s copy instead of buying.

(2/5) Darkest Dungeon. It was fine but I don’t really remember it.

(2/5) Dicey Dungeons. Okay deck-building roguelike gameplay (with an inventory instead of a deck). Really frustrating, unskippably slow difficulty curve at the start. I played it some more this year and liked it better because I had a savegame. I appreciate having several character classes, but they should unlock every difficulty from the start.

(2/5) Diner Bros. Basically just a worse Overcooked. I didn’t like the controls, and it felt too repetitive with only one diner.

(2/5) Don’t Eat My Mind You Stupid Monster. Okay art and idea, the gameplay wasn’t too fun for me.

(2/5) Don’t Starve – I’ve played Don’t Stave maybe 8 different times, and it’s never really gripped me, I always put it back down. It’s slow, a bit grindy, and there’s no bigger goal–all you can do is live.

(3/5) Don’t Starve Together – Confusingly, Don’t Starve Together can be played alone. It’s Don’t Starve, plus a couple of the expansions. This really could be much more clearly explained.

(1/5) Elemental Abyss – A deck-builder, but this time it’s grid-based tactics. Really not all that fun. Just play Into the Abyss instead or something.

(1/5) Else Heart.Break() – I was excited that this might be a version of “Hack N’ Slash” from doublefine that actually delivered and let you goof around with the world. I gave it up in the first ten minutes, because the writing and characters drove me crazy, without getting to hacking the world.

(2/5) Everything is Garbage. Pretty good for a game jam game. Not a bad use of 10 minutes. I do think it’s probably possible to make the game unwinnable, and the ending is just nothing.

(1/5) Evolve. Idle game, not all that fun. I take issue with the mechanic in Sharks, Kittens, and this where buying your 15th fence takes 10^15 wood for some reason.

(4/5) Exapunks. Zachtronics has really been killing it lately, with Exapunks and Opus Magnum. WONDERFUL art and characters during story portions, and much better writing. The gameplay is a little more varied than in TIS-100 or the little I played of ShenZen I/O. My main complaint about Zachtronics games continues to be, that I don’t want to be given a series of resource-limited puzzles (do X, but without using more than 10 programming instructions). Exapunks is the first game where it becomes harder to do something /at all/, rather than with a particular amount of resources, but it’s still not there for me. Like ShenZen, they really go for a variety of hardware, too. Can’t recommend this because it’s really only for programmers.

(1/5) Exception. Programming game written by some money machine mobile games company. Awful.

(4/5) Factorio. Factorio’s great, but for me it doesn’t have that much replay value, even with mods. I do like their recent updates, which included adding blueprints from the start of the game, improving belt sorting, and adding a research queue. We changed movement speed, made things visually always day, and adding a small number of personal construction robots from the start this run. I’m sure if you’d like factorio you’ve played it already.

(3/5) Fall Guys – I got this because it was decently fun to watch. Unfortunately, it’s slightly less fun to play. Overall, there’s WAY too much matchmaking waiting considering the number of players, and the skill ceiling is very low on most of the games, some of which are essentially luck (I’m looking at you, team games).

(3/5) Forager – Decent game. A little too much guesswork in picking upgrades–was probably a bit more fun on my second play because of that. Overall, nice graphics and a cute map, but the gameplay could use a bit of work.

(3/5) Getting Over It – Funny idea, executed well. Pretty sure my friends and I have only gotten through 10% of the game, and all hit about the same wall (the first tunnel)

(3/5) Guild of Dungeoneering – Pretty decent gameplay. I feel like it’s a bit too hard for me, but that’s fine. Overall I think it could use a little more cute/fun art, I never quite felt that motivated.

(1/5) Hardspace: Shipbreakers. Okay, I seriously didn’t get to play this one, but I had GAMEBREAKING issues with my controller, which is a microsoft X-box controller for PC–THE development controller.

(2/5) Helltaker. All right art, meh gameplay. But eh, it’s free!

(3/5) Hot Lava. Decent gameplay. Somehow felt like the place that made this had sucked the souls out of all the devs first–no one cared about the story or characters. It’s a game where the floor is made out of lava, with a saturday morning cartoon open, so that was a really an issue. Admirable lack of bugs, though. I’m a completionist so I played the first world a lot to get all the medals, and didn’t try the later ones.

(3/5) House Flipper – Weird, but I had fun. I wish the gameplay was a little more unified–it felt like a bunch of glued-together minigames.

(2/5) Hydroneer. Utterly uninspiring. I couldn’t care about making progress at all, looked like a terrible grind to no benefit.

(1/5) io. Tiny game, I got it on Steam, also available on phone. Basically a free web flash game, but for money. Not good enough to pay the $1 I paid. Just a bit of a time-killer.

(3/5) Islanders – All you do is place buildings and get points. Not particularly challenging, but relaxing. Overall I liked it.

(3/5) Jackbox – I played this online with a streamer. Jackbox has always felt a little bit soulless money grab to me, but it’s still all right. I like that I can play without having a copy–we need more games using this purchase model.

(3/5) Life is Feudal – Soul-crushingly depressing and grindy, which I knew going in. I thought it was… okay, but I really want an offline play mode (Yes, I know there’s an unsupported single-player game, but it’s buggier and costs money). UI was pretty buggy, and I think hunting might literally be impossible.

(2/5) Minecraft – Antimatter Chemistry. Not particularly fun.

(3/5) Minecraft – ComputerCraft. I played a pack with just ComputerCraft and really nothing else. Was a little slow, would have been more fun with more of an audience. I love the ComputerCraft mod, I just didn’t have a great experience playing my pack I made.

(3/5) Minecraft – Foolcraft 3. Fun, a bit buggy. Honestly I can’t remember it too well.

(1/5) Minecraft – Manufactio. Looked potentially fun, but huge bugs and performance issues, couldn’t play.

(4/5) Minecraft – Tekkit. Tekkit remains one of my favorite Minecraft modpacks.

(3/5) Minecraft – Valhelsia 2. I remember this being fun, but I can’t remember details as much as I’d like. I think it was mostly based around being the latest version of minecraft?

(4/5) Minecraft – Volcano Block. Interesting, designed around some weird mods I hadn’t used. I could have used more storage management or bulk dirt/blocks early in the game–felt quite cramped. Probably got a third of the way through the pack. I got novelty value out of it, but I wouldn’t have enjoyed it if I had ever used the plant mod before–it’s a very fixed, linear progression.

(5/5) Minit. This is a weird, small game. I actually had a lot of fun with it. Then I 100% completed it, which was less fun but I still had a good time overall.

(3/5) Monster Box. By Dan-box. One of two Dan-box games I played a lot of. Just visually appealing, the gameplay isn’t amazing. Also, Dan-box does some great programming–this is a game written in 1990 or so, and it can render hundreds of arrows in the air smoothly in a background tab.

(3/5) Monster Train. A relatively fun deckbuilding card game. It can’t run well on my computer, which is UNACCEPTABLE–this is a card game with 2D graphics. My MICROWAVE should run this shit in 2020. Ignoring that, the gameplay style (summon monsters, MTG style) just isn’t my cup of tea.

(2/5) Moonlighter. Felt like it was missing some inspiration, just didn’t have a sense of “fun”. The art was nice. The credits list is surprisingly long.

(2/5) Muse Dash. All right, a basic rhythm game. Not enough variety to the game play, and everything was based around perfect or near-perfect gameplay, which makes things less fun for me.

(3/5) NES games – various. Dr Mario, Ice Climbers. Basically, I got some Chinese handheld “gameboy” that has all the NES games preloaded on it. Overall it was a great purchase.

(2/5) Noita. “The Powder Game” by Dan-Box, as a procedurally generated platformer with guns. Lets you design your own battle spells. Despite the description, you really still can’t screw around as much as I’d like. I also had major performance issues

(3/5) Observation. I haven’t played this one as much as I’d like, I feel like it may get better. Storytelling, 3D game from the point of view of the AI computer on a space station. I think I might have read a book it’s based on, unfortunately.

(2/5) One Step From Eden. This is a deck-building combat tactics game. I thought it was turn-based, but it’s actually realtime. I think if it was turn-based I would have liked it. The characters were a bit uninspired.

(1/5) Orbt XL. Very dull. I paid $0.50 for it, it was worth that.

(4/5) Opus Magnum. Another great game from Zachtronics, along with Exapunks they’re really ramping up. This is the third execution of the same basic concept. I’d like to see Zachtronics treading new ground more as far as gameplay–that said, it is much improved compared to the first two iterations. The art, writing, and story were stellar on the other hand.

(3/5) Out of Space. Fun idea, you clean a spaceship. It’s never that challenging, and it has mechanics such that it gets easier the more you clean, rather than harder. Good but not enough replay value. Fun with friends the first few times. The controls are a little wonky.

(1/5) Outpost (tower defense game). I hate all tower defense.

(3/5) Overcooked. Overcooked is a ton of fun.

(4/5) Powder Game – Dan-box. I played this in reaction to not liking Noita. It’s fairly old at this point. Just a fun little toy.

(1/5) Prime Mover – Very cool art, the gameplay put me to sleep immediately. A “circuit builder” game but somehow missing any challenge or consistency.

(2/5) Quest for Glory I. Older, from 1989. Didn’t really play this much, I couldn’t get into the writing, and the pseudo-photography art was a little jarring.

(4/5) Raft. I played this in beta for free on itch.io, and had a lot of fun. Not enough changed that it was really worth a replay, but it has improved, and I got to play with a second player. Not a hard game, which I think was a good thing. The late game they’ve expanded, but it doesn’t really add much. The original was fun and so was this.

(3/5) Satisfactory. I honestly don’t know how I like this one–I didn’t get too far into it.

(4/5) Scrap Mechanic. I got this on a recommendation from a player who played in creative. I only tried the survival mode–that mode is not well designed, and their focuses for survival are totally wrong. I like the core game, you can actually build stuff. If I play again, I’ll try the creative mode, I think.

(3.5/5) Shapez.io. A weird, abstracted simplification of Factorio. If I hadn’t played factorio and half a dozen copies, I imagine this would have been fun, but it’s just more of the same. Too much waiting–blueprints are too far into the game, too.

(2.5/5) Simmiland. Okay, but short. Used cards for no reason. For a paid game, I wanted more gameplay out of it?

(0.5/5) Snakeybus. The most disappointing game I remember this year. Someone made “Snake” in 3D. There are a million game modes and worlds to play in. I didn’t find anything I tried much fun.

(1/5) Soda Dungeon. A “mobile” (read: not fun) style idle game. Patterned after money-grab games, although I don’t remember if paid progress was actually an option. I think so.

(4/5) Spelunky. The only procedurally generated platformer I’ve ever seen work. Genuinely very fun.

(4/5) Spelunky 2. Fun, more of an upgrade of new content than a new game. Better multiplayer. My computer can’t run later levels at full speed.

(1/5) Stick Ranger 2. Dan-box. Not much fun.

(3/5) Superliminal. Fun game. A bit short for the pricetag.

(3/5) Tabletop Simulator – Aether’s End: Legacy. Interesting, a “campaign” (series of challenge bosses and pre-written encounters) deckbuilding RPG. I like the whole “campaign RPG boardgame” idea. This would have worked better with paper, there were some rough edges in both the game instructions and the port to Tabletop Simulator.

(4/5) Tabletop Simulator – The Captain is Dead. Very fun. I’d love to play with more than 2 people. Tabletop simulator was so-so for this one.

(2/5) Tabletop Simulator – Tiny Epic Mechs. You give your mech a list of instructions, and it does them in order. Arena fight. Fun, but I think I could whip up something at least as good.

(3/5) The Council. One of the only 3D games I finished. It’s a story game, where you investigate what’s going on and make various choices. It’s set in revolutionary france, at the Secret World Council that determines the fate of the world. It had a weak ending, with less choice elements than the rest of the game so far, which was a weird decision. Also, it has an EXCRUTIATINGLY bad opening scene, which was also weird. The middle 95% of the game I enjoyed, although the ending went on a little long. The level of background knowledge expected of the player swung wildly–they seemed to expect me to know who revolutionary French generals were with no explanation, but not Daedalus and the Minotaur. The acting was generally enjoyable–there’s a lot of lying going on in the game and it’s conveyed well. The pricetag is too high to recommend.

(0/5) The Grandma’s Recipe (Unus Annus). This game is unplayably bad–it’s just a random pixel hunt. Maybe it would be fun if you had watched the video it’s based on.

(3/5) The Room. Pretty fun! I think this is really designed for a touchscreen, but I managed to play it on my PC. Played it stoned, which I think helps with popular puzzle games–it has nice visuals but it’s a little too easy.

(3/5) This Call May Be Recorded. Goofy experimental game.

(4/5) TIS-100. Zachtronics. A programming game. I finally got done with the first set of puzzles and into the second this year. I had fun, definitely not for everyone.

(3/5) Trine. I played this 2-player. I think the difficulty was much better 2-player, but it doesn’t manage 2 players getting separated well. Sadly we skipped the story, which seemed like simple nice low-fantasy. Could have used goofier puzzles, it took itself a little too seriously and the levels were a bit same-y.

(2/5) Unrailed. Co-op railroad building game. It was okay but there wasn’t base-building. Overall not my thing. I’d say I would prefer something like Overcooked if it’s going to be timed? Graphics reminded me of autonauts.

(2/5) Vampire Night Shift. Art game. Gameplay could have used a bit of polish. Short but interesting.

(4/5) Wayward. To date, the best survival crafting system I’ve seen. You can use any pointy object and stick-like object, together with glue or twine, to make an arrow. The UI is not great, and there’s a very counter-intuitive difficulty system. You need to do a little too much tutorial reading, and it could use more goals. Overall very fun. Under constant development, so how it plays a given week is a crapshoot. The steam version finally works for me (last time I played it was worse than the free online alpha, now it’s the same or better). I recomend playing the free online version unless you want to support the author.

(1/5) We Need to Go Deeper. Multiplayer exploration game in a sub, with sidescrolling battle. Somehow incredibly unfun, together with high pricetag. Aesthetics reminded me of Don’t Starve somehow.

(2/5) We Were Here. Okay 2-player puzzle game. Crashed frequently, and there were some “huh” puzzles and UI. Free.

(3/5) Yes, your grace. Gorgeous pixel art graphics. The story is supposed to be very player-dependent, but I started getting the feeling that it wasn’t. I didn’t quite finish the game but I think I was well past halfway. Hard to resume after a save, you forget things. I got the feeling I wouldn’t replay it, which is a shame because it’s fun to see how things go differently in a second play with something like this.

These are not all new to me, and very few came out in 2020. I removed any games I don’t remember and couldn’t google (a fair number, I play a lot of game jam games) as well as any with pornographic content.

2020 Videogames was originally published on Optimal Prime

[bace-jeleren]

True Nature

It was never a happy coincidence that Sophi found Megumi and agreed to help her in her journey through the multiverse. Darker secrets lurk in Sophi’s past, and even darker allies. Sophi’s true nature is finally revealed... or is it?

Sophi stepped out from the Blind Eternities, her feet finding ground where there had once been nothing but swirling aether. A freezing rush of air filled her lungs as her boots crunched against freshly-fallen snow. Signs she had arrived on a plane deep in it's winter months made itself immediately apparent- almost as quickly as the worrisome silence that filled the air did.

“Megumi?” She called out, looking to one side, then the other, and even behind her, but only found snow. Her heart immediately began to pound as she widened the scope of her search, her heavy breathing sending clouds of thick vapor wafting through the still, freezing air. “Child!? Where are you!? Megumi!!”

She was certain she had followed the girl here- she had felt her presence as she always did, flying blindly through the Blind Eternities like a leaf adrift on a violent breeze. Perhaps, she had simply arrived at a different location- Sophi could only hope that was the case, and not that the poor child was on a completely different plane, defenseless and alone, without Sophi to keep her safe. In any case, there was no time to waste standing around and worrying about every horrific could-be scenario, it was very much in the young girl's best interest that Sophi begin searching- where had they arrived, exactly?

Before here were barren, rolling hills covered in snow and ice and embraced in a thick fog, with nothing but ruins of what had once been buildings sprouting up from the fresh powder like mangled hands. They hardly seemed to have gotten that way simply from the passing of time alone, like something had happened very recently to have brought such widespread destruction. A chilling wind whipped by her, rustling her cloak and sending a shiver up her spine- not from the cold, but how familiar it all felt. Things seemed deathly quiet and tragically deserted now, but she couldn't help but recall roaring flames and helpless, terrified screams as she looked at the destruction that littered the snowy hills.

“No...” The single, fearsome word clawed it's way up her throat, feeling like thousands of daggers as it came up. A second harsh breeze blew past her, as the scent of the sea caressed her like an unpleasantly moist blanket. Sophi shivered again, feeling like she almost heard a voice hiss out a whisper that was carried on the wind in a tongue she didn't recognize, and yet somehow understood. It was a voice she had heard before in her past, and in her deepest, darkest nightmares. “No, no, no, no!!”

Chanting the negative response to herself frantically, she spun around to face the wind, and came to find a completely different scenery from the hills and the destruction they held. She stood on the edge of a sheer cliff that looked out towards a silvery beach that glittered in the moonlight, as well as a rough, choppy ocean that revealed nothing below it's raging waves. Freezing fog rolled in from the murky expanse, but even the thickest of it couldn't hide the striking glow of the silver moon that hung oppressively overhead, a strange rune etched clearly into it's pure white surface that put the snow at Sophi's feet to shame. She looked up at it, taking in every inch with eyes wide in horror she could only desperately wish she could shut.

Sophi was on Innistrad. After years and years of running, and trying to put as much distance between her and her past as she could, she had stumbled all the way back home.

“I-I can't... I mustn't be here, I... I don't want to...” She stammered uncontrollably, shaking hands covering quivering lips as she took a trembling step away from the edge. “M..Megumi... where... where are you...?”

“Funny, I was just wondering the same question,” came a voice behind her that was almost as chilling as the freezing wind, but filled Sophi with just as much fear. Before she could turn around, she spied a glint of metal as the blade of a massive sword was thrust passed her, nearly grazing her ear and her shoulder and remaining threateningly in place, ready to hack off her arm, or even, perhaps, slice her head from off her shoulders.

“You!!” Sophi gasped sharply as she turned around, a new, different fear overcoming her as she came face to face with an all-too-familiar, sickly-green eye. Looming over her just as impressively as the moon had was Grii, holding her sword, that was just as large as Sophi herself, like it was nothing. She showed off her sharp teeth, two large tusks glinting in the moonlight, as her lips curled up in a cruel smile.

“A shame your adorable little traveling companion isn't around, but lucky for us, that gives us adults some time to have a very important talk.” Grii snarled, her words exiting her mouth in thick clouds of steam. Taking Sophi by surprise, she thrust out her boot-clad foot, kicking her in the stomach and sending her flying back. Falling into the snow with a pained cry, she dug her hands into the icy ground and narrowly stopped herself from sliding over the edge of the cliff, but now she found herself even more vulnerable, at the feet of Grii with the wind half-knocked out of her.

“Have you been having fun, playing the good little hero? Was is thrilling getting to play pretend?” Grii asked mockingly as she stood over Sophi's crumpled form. “Playtime's over now, and I know exactly what you are, just as much as you do- or maybe you forgot!”

“The deal is off, Grii! I'm not going to let you hurt that girl!! You can do whatever you want to me, I've decided I'll do whatever it takes to keep her safe!” Sophi bravely shouted up at her, even as she trembled. “She's blameless, she's done nothing!!”

“Spoken like a true angel- which is quite odd, since I don't see any angels here, just a monster who has forgotten her place!” Grii said as she easily caught a blow from Sophi who, as fast as she sprang up and moved to strike her, couldn't break through the hulking cyclops woman's defenses. Clutching her fist tightly in her own, she easily swung Sophi's body over her shoulder, as if she were nothing but a lifeless doll, and threw her roughly into the snow.

“Aaugh!” Sophi cried out, hardly able to regain her bearings before she felt the bottom of Grii's boot press down hard against her chest and push her deeper into the snow, pinning her to the ground.

“Do you really think the girl is just going to overlook your violent outbursts forever? She's a dumb little kid, eventually she'll come to fear you, and see you for what you really are!” Grii snapped, grinding the sole of her boot against her chest. Sophi wheezed uncomfortably, weak hands unsuccessfully trying to pry her foot from off of her. “And what if you get her back to her parents? What then? Do you really think they'll be welcoming to a half-sane angel with blood on her hands? They'll be thankful, but you'll be sent away, and you'll be right back to living in the shadows and crying like a miserable whelp in the sewers where I found you!! A monster like you won't be welcomed into the light just because you do one, little good deed.”

“But-”

“Only I can give you purpose! Only I see you for what you are and what you can do!!” Grii continued, speaking over her as she put more weight on her. “A monster can only find her place among other monsters, Sophi. Saving that pathetic, mutant whelp will only bring you temporary worth- do as you were told and accept your new life as a true monster, and you'll never be lost!”

“There her to be another way... there has to-” Sophi grunted in agony.

“The only 'other way' is to fight against your true nature and suffer! There's no redemption, or happy ending for monsters!! Embrace what you are, as I have, like that girl and her family never will!” Grii commanded.

“E-embrace...” Sophi weakly parroted as she looked up at Grii, the imposing light of the silver moon shining just behind her, like a cruel halo. “... My true nature.”

“Yes, no more of this pretending to be what you're not bullshit- this all ends tonight!” Grii sneered as she, finally, lifted her boot from off Sohpi's chest, who sat up but obediently sat in the snow before Grii. “You'll finally do as we originally agreed, and you'll bring that brat to me! Then, I'll show you just how comforting the embrace of darkness can be!”