#I don’t wanna start a fight and try and become her legal guardian and like she literally has a plan to run away if stuff gets worse

[pzos-amiserableidiot]

[usercelestial]

Freddie's Legal Guardians

Tami knew the pact they made on the porch of the Gallagher house wasn’t the most logical one. 

She and Lip promised each other that nothing would happen to either one of them, therefore ensuring that Freddie would never need any legal guardians. She never thought about it again. 

That was, until now, standing in Ian and Mickey’s kitchen watching as Freddie claps at his uncles, who are currently fighting for his attention. She thinks back on that pact, wondering if maybe she had found two people suitable for the job. 

Ian and Mickey are bent down over her kid, Ian wiggling his fingers at him while Mickey shows off a stuffed lion that Fred keeps trying to grab onto. 

“He only likes you cause you’re bribing him,” Ian says, elbowing Mickey in the side. 

“Don’t hate the player, hate the game, bitch.” 

“You shouldn’t say that around him,” Ian looks to Tami for approval. 

She shrugs, “We do it all the time, I don’t think he cares.” 

She watches as Mickey gives Ian a smug smile and gives up, allowing Freddie to hold the toy and for Ian to take over. He walks over to Tami, “You ready to go?” 

Every weekend, Tami and Mickey go out to some club and hangout without the intrusion of any Gallaghers or babies. Though it’s tough tearing herself away from little Fred for a couple hours at a time, she finds herself looking forward to it all week. 

She shrugs, refusing to look away from Freddie, who’s giggling as Ian tickles him gently while making funny faces. 

This is where she starts to think about his legal guardians. What would actually happen to her son if both his parents were gone? Her mind starts to whirl like it did a couple years back when he was just a newborn. Except this time, she thinks she might have an answer. 

“You wanna stay here instead. Lip’s working night shift, right?” 

She nods, unsure of if it’s an offer, “You wanna stay here with a toddler instead of going out and getting wasted?” 

She knows she does, there’s nowhere else she would rather be than watching her kid giggle and laugh and drool all over himself but she doesn’t want to ruin their night. 

“Might as well, right? Besides, the kid definitely wants to hang out with his favorite uncle,” he emphasizes the words dramatically and flips Ian off. 

“No fu-freaking way is he your favorite. I’m your favorite, aren’t I?” Fred kicks his legs and babbles in response, “Exactly, see Mickey? He likes me more.” 

Tami smiles, her heart clenching at the sight. 

When she first had the conversation - well, it was more of a fight, really - she had immediately pegged Ian as a felon. Which, while factually true, was a misjudgment. 

She truly hadn’t met anyone as sweet with kids as Ian ‘Ray of Sunshine’ Gallagher, nickname courtesy of a very drunk Mickey. Anytime Ian would babysit, he always made sure he had everything that he possibly needed, down to the bottles, pacifiers, and change of clothes. She remembers one time, Freddie had been running a fever and Ian called Lip, his voice heightened with fear, looking for what to do. 

Soft fucker, she thinks. 

But when Lip brought up Ian even as an emergency contact, she declined. She just didn’t know him. 

And then there’s Mickey, the convict she knew even less about. She didn’t even take him into consideration when Ian was brought into the picture, mostly because she figured he would be gone. Tami didn’t know anything about their relationship when she first met them and only realized how expansive their history actually is quite recently so she figured he was a fling that wouldn’t last. Just a convict Ian brought home. 

But even if she did consider him, she still would have said no, absolutely not. Again, she didn’t know them, why would she trust her kid with people she’s only known for a couple weeks. 

Somewhere down the line though, she and Mickey saw eye to eye; they went from begrudgingly tolerating each other to hanging out every other night. She wonders what she would have said to the idea of them becoming his legal guardians if she had actually known them at the time. 

Not that it matters much now because that night she goes home with Freddie and waits for Lip to get back from work. It’s almost 3 A.M. when he comes through the door and collapses beside her on the bed. 

She doesn’t waste time, “What if we made Ian and Mickey Freddie’s legal guardians?” 

Lip looks more than taken aback, “H-wait-I-what?” 

��I was thinking today, you know, they babysit him the most. We know them-” 

“Well, yeah, Ian’s my brother.” 

“And we know they aren’t gonna fuck him up and shit so, you know, why not?” Tami watches as he scratches the back of his head. 

“I mean, yeah, I’m fine with it. It’s just when I brought Ian up the last time we talked about it, you weren’t into it.” 

Tami shrugs, rolling onto her side to face him, “Well, I changed my mind. Besides, I love Ian. I love Mickey-” 

“Which is still weird for me,” he interjects. 

“It’s not like anything’s gonna happen to us,” Tami reasons, ignoring him, “But, in case it ever does, we’ll know for sure that Freddie will be in good hands. Really, the best hands we have available,” she yawns and pulls him closer, “Right?” 

He smiles at her, warm but tired. He rubs his eye and looks over to Freddie’s room, a glint in his gaze, “Yeah. Our pact still counts though, no dying on me yet, Tami Tamietti.” 

She scrunches her nose up and nods, “Not planning on it, Phillip.”

“You know we have to tell Ian about it though,” he adds, “We can’t just do that shit without knowing they would be willing to take over, right?” 

“You have doubts about that?” Tami could see Ian’s face now, all lit up with excitement and love. She could see Mickey’s smirk too, even if he doesn’t show it as much as Ian. 

Lip shakes his head, smiling. She imagines he’s picturing the same thing, “We’ll tell ‘em tomorrow then we’ll get it done.” 

She nods, closing her eyes, feeling his wrap an arm around her torso as her own stretches out to encompass him. They go to sleep, at ease knowing that their baby would be in good hands no matter what, surrounded by unconditional, constant love. 

And they were right, when they sat Ian and Mickey down in the Alibi the very next day to tell them about their plans, they were ecstatic. Mickey showed some hesitation, Tami knows why but she also now knows how much of a softie he is underneath the knuckle tats and criminal record. 

“Are you sure about this?” Mickey asks her when they’re alone, “You would want two felons taking care of your kid?” 

She smiles and sips her beer, “Why not? It’s not like you're fucking strangers. Besides, I'm not planning on dying anytime soon, am I?” 

She sees Mickey look down at his own drink out of the corner of her eye, “Better not. I’d have to find a new drinking buddy and Ian’s such a lightweight.” 

She knows what he means, she finds herself feeling the same. 

Tami sits next to her best friend, knowing within herself she made the right decision.

[buckleyirondad]

Evan Begins Again

With the help of his family, Buck learns to love himself, flaws and all - which starts with reclaiming his given name.

Read on AO3

Words: 4436

Warnings: Mentions of past Self-Hate, Brief Injury Detail (on a call)

It starts with Eddie, but these things usually do.

Buck wishes he could be like Eddie, somebody who can freely speak his mind without fearing the fall.

When Eddie has something to say, he makes Buck listen, even if it's not something he wants to hear.

Discovering that he would become Christopher's legal guardian if his best friend dies prematurely was unexpected, but Buck welcomes it. 

The lengths he is willing to go for Christopher are infinite; he loves that kid like his own.

Strangely, that part of the conversation isn't what stuck or what keeps him up at night.

Being told that he's not expendable with such certainty, after a lifetime of believing that's all he is, has put his mind in a spin.

Maddie's told him that before, so has Bobby, Athena, Hen, Chimney, Albert, Taylor - everybody he cares about has, at one point, has told him that he's worth fighting for.

That wasn't anything new, but it's the way Eddie went about saying it, "Because, Evan, you came in here the other day, and you said you thought it would have been better if it had been you who was shot. You act like you're expendable. But you're wrong."

Evan.

Buck hates when people use his given name - well, at least he thought he did.

Hate wouldn't explain the warmth that spread across his chest when Eddie spoke his name, with just the right amount of love, with an unmistakable tinge of sass.

Aside from Maddie, whenever anybody says his name, he recoils like he's been burnt. He remembers his childhood, being reprimanded by his parents for his reckless behavior or called out by his teachers.

Whenever 'Evan' is used in a sentence, it isn't usually followed by words of affirmation.

Even with Maddie, she's adapted to using 'Buck' when she's proud of him or telling him how much she loves him. Emotions are high whenever she says, 'Evan,' like when he learned about Daniel.

"Evan, please don't leave. Just talk to me."

He talks to Dr. Copeland, and it's almost too easy for her to identify the problem.

'Buck' is meant to be a nickname, but it's bigger than that; it's a shield, a smokescreen, an excuse to hide his true feelings.

He separates himself into two; Buck gets to live while Evan suffers the weight of his hardships.

He can't keep doing that.

He has to face this problem, learn to love every piece of himself, even if it hurts.

If he doesn't, it will kill him.

Because one day, and soon, he'll become tired of 'Buck.'

The same way he did with Evan, then he'll be well and truly lost.

Things need to change.

***

It's a slow day, nobody's said anything to jinx that, yet, but the night is still young.

Athena has a day off; she's popped over like most Wednesdays, having helped Bobby with dinner.

Maddie surprises them all, dropping by with an excitable Jee-Yun.

Eddie and Chimney carry the stroller up the stairs while she holds Jee-Yun on her hip.

Taking his niece into his arms, Buck asks his sister, "How are you?"

The light in her eyes is brighter than the last time he saw her, "I'm better."

Buck sports his lopsided grin, "Good."

Jee-Yun jumps from person to person, delighted to be surrounded by her favorite people.

They settle on the couches; Jee-Yun stops on Maddie's lab, hit by the tired stick.

Buck sits, sandwiched between Bobby and Athena.

Maddie relaxes into the recliner while Chim perches on the chair's arm as he converses with Hen.

Hen and Eddie share a couch but have claimed separate ends; she sits nearer Chimney, busy discussing kindergarten admissions, which Buck can't believe, Jee-Yun's barely one.

Eddie is at the other end, listening to one of Athena's work stories.

Buck knows he should be involved, but he's lost track of where they were.

Everybody's conversations reach their natural ends - Buck leans in.

"Hey," He croaks - that's odd, his throat is tight, and he didn't realize.

All eyes are on him.

He fumbles with his fingers, "Can I ask you all something?"

Chimney shuffles forward, "Of course."

"Is everything okay?" Hen asks, eyes tracing over him.

Buck dips his head, "Yeah."

Athena takes his hand, "It doesn't sound it."

He insists, "Everything's fine."

"So," Eddie speaks gently, "What's up?"

Buck wonders if Eddie will catch on and understand that everything is changing because he is the first person in years, to remind Evan that he is worthy of love.

He clears his throat, "I want you to call me 'Evan.'"

The request is met by silence and pinched expressions of confusion.

"I'm still Buck," He blurts, "That's my nickname, always gonna be, but I was hoping that we could, like, switch between the two?"

"Okay," Bobby is cautiously gentle, "We can do that."

"It might take some adjustment time," Hen adds, "But of course, we can."

A weight shifts, "Cool, thanks."

"So, what's with the change?" Chimney asks, "I thought you hated your name?"

"I thought I did," He nervously rubs the nape of his neck, and his leg begins to bounce.

"Hey," Maddie sits up, startled, "You don't have to explain-"

Buck shakes his head, "You guys need to hear this."

Bobby presses his hand to Buck's knee, attempting to ease him.

"Talking with Dr. Copeland, I realized that in becoming Buck, I was trying to forget everything that came before," Buck explains, "It should just be a nickname, but it's not - it's a coping mechanism."

He locks eyes with a tearful Maddie, but she smiles with a nod, urging him to go on.

It's once in a blue moon when Buck opens up about how he's feeling.

"I can pretend that every bad thing that happened to me as Evan never happened," He continues, "Shitty childhood, bad friends, and Daniel..."

Everybody shifts uncomfortably on that note, especially Maddie, who draws her daughter closer to her chest.

Buck lifts his shoulders in a shrug, "But it doesn't work like that."

"No, it doesn't," Maddie speaks, quiet, "Those things leave a scar, Evan."

Hen speaks up, "An open one."

"I've never hated my name," Evan's lower lip trembles, "I hated me."

He expects pity or concerned gasps, but instead, he's offered understanding nods and intense gazes filled with love.

"I separate 'Evan' and 'Buck,' but they're both me," He cries, "Like with Buck, I've grown, changed for the better, have the family I've always wanted," Tears spill down his cheeks, "But Evan is buried, and I need to find me, again."

Maddie asks, "Because you feel loved as Buck but forgotten as Evan?"

He nods, "Yeah."

"Evan," Hen cries, her eyes wet with tears, "We love you completely."

Athena's gentle fingers grasp Evan's chin, her mouth curls into a smile, as tears freely fall, "Without a single string attached."

Buck breaths, "You promise?"

"We promise," Bobby reassures fast.

With a strangled sob, Evan crumbles, his shoulders sagging.

Bobby dives, collecting him in his arms.

Athena combs her hand through his hair.

Everybody moves, crowding him, in a hug.

Eddie kneels, gripping onto Evan's knee with all his strength, wrapping his arm around Hen, crouched beside him.

Hen grips onto Buck's forearm, her stance protective.

Chimney stands behind, hands resting on Buck's trembling shoulders.

Maddie takes the space beside Hen, taking Evan's hand, while she balances a half-asleep, confused, Jee-Yun on her knee.

Eddie speaks - his tone strong, "You're going to be okay, Evan."

***

It takes a month for the change to stick without the aura of awkwardness.

It is easy to get tongue-tied - in the beginning, there were many 'Buc-vans' and 'Ev-uk's,' but, at least he knew, they were trying.

After a couple of false starts, interchanging between 'Evan' and 'Buck' is set to stay.

Evan is sure that he's never been happier.

He stops over for dinner at Bobby and Athena's on Thursday nights.

While they're washing up, he gathers his shoes, slipping them on; he tries to be quiet, considering May's already in bed.

It's nearing midnight; he doesn't want to overstay his welcome.

"I better head home," Buck whispers, "Early start tomorrow."

"We have a free bed, you know?" Athena asks, gathering empty glasses off the dinner table, "Since Harry's with Michael."

"I wouldn't wanna intrude," He bends to do his laces

"Buckaroo, we invited you, remember?" Athena tells him, "Your apartment is almost an hour away—time you could spend sleeping."

Buck stops what he is doing and sighs with a grin; he knows exactly where this is heading.

"We're heading into a twenty-four shift, Evan," Bobby speaks warmly, "We'd feel better if you stayed."

Buck slips off his shoes, "I'll stay."

Athena shoots a smile in Bobby's direction, "There should be some pajamas for you in the drawers, the second row down," She instructs, "Your toothbrush is in the medicine cabinet."

"Thank you," Evan skips up the stairs, "Goodnight."

***

The following morning, Buck is woken by his seasonal allergies.

He's survived a truck explosion, a pulmonary embolism, and a tsunami, but hayfever still sucks.

He snags an antihistamine from their medicine cabinet and creeps into the kitchen, careful not to make any noise.

May's left for work - there's a note on the table explaining that she'll be late home as she's checking out her new apartment with Michael.

Buck's downing his second glass of water when Athena steps out of her bedroom, "Buck?" She questions, "You're up early."

Evan rubs his eyes, "Allergies."

Athena rests a hand on his back as she opens the fridge door, "You need an antihistamine?" He asks, "May's a sufferer too, so we're stocked up."

"I took one," He smiles - uncertain, "Sorry, I didn't ask."

Athena fixes him with her parental glare as she tuts with a laugh, "Evan, you don't have to ask," She assures, "This is your home too."

Evan stares at her, mouth dropping open, "Thanks."

His mother's words ring in his head; You're under our roof, Evan, so you have to respect our rules.

Growing up, his parents never once referred to their house as his home.

Athena pats his arm, "Come on, you're helping me with breakfast."

"Of course," He claps his hands together, "Where do you need me?"

***

Being called 'Evan' again by those he trusts is second nature, almost like things have never been any different.

Buck struggles to see the floor as he heads into May's new apartment, box in his arms, "Hey, May," He calls, "This box isn't labeled."

She rolls her eyes, "It is, but Dad covered it with tape," She tries to peel the corners off, "Again."

Michael defends, "I'm cautious."

"And I'll be spending the next two weeks trying to cut free my possessions," May taunts; she taps the top of the box, "Bedroom."

Buck nods, "Gotcha."

She smiles, "Thanks, Ev."

Warmth spreads over Evan's chest, he smiles, hanging his head; well and truly caught up in the euphoria of acceptance.

His pseudo-sister was the first to try 'Ev.'

It works. Buck loves it.

"Buck, can you help me in the kitchen when you're done?" Athena calls, "I'm gonna your help with these latches."

"Sure!" He places the box on the floor and turns into the kitchen.

Chimney, who is in the middle of constructing a bookshelf with David, turns, "Oh no, brace yourself," He taunts, "Fire Marshall Buckley is back!"

Buck remains straight-faced, "Ha."

"Why do I need these, Mom?" May quizzes, "I'm not a kid."

"We have around ten thousand earthquakes a year," Evan explains; he grabs the latches, "Things get broken. This is an added safety," He points to the windows, "Especially this high up."

May narrows her eyes, "So, what I'm hearing is that this was your idea, not Mom's?"

Buck nods, "I suggested it."

Athena squeezes his shoulder, "I accepted the suggestion."

May bops her head, "Oh, I see."

"Buck's got an eye for safety," Bobby praises.

Eddie walks in with May's ironing board, "Which is saying something."

Buck glares, "You're so funny."

Michael walks over, "Thank you, Evan," He says, all actively ignoring Eddie and Chimney's mischievous laughter, "Earthquakes aren't a thing I considered."

"You're not gonna remember everything," Evan holds up the latches, "If you want, I could set some of these up at your place."

"That would be wonderful."

Athena sports a fond smile, "It's like having our own personal handyman."

Buck jokes, "Well, if that's the case, you can all pay me."

***

Buck lays on his front, across Maddie and Chimney's carpeted ground, his eyes fixed on his niece.

She's busy chomping down on one of her many toys, but she stares at him with her wide brown eyes, fixated on his face, much like he is on hers.

Sometimes, even thirteen months into her life, he can't believe that his sister, and one of his closest friends, came together to make a human being.

"How can somebody be this cute?"

Maddie steps over, "Oh my, God," She laughs fondly, "She's covered in drool."

"That's fine," Buck gathers a cloth, wiping it over Jee's face, "She's still adorable, aren't you?"

Jee-Yun throws her hands in the air, "Yeah!"

"Yeah," Evan repeats, bopping her nose.

"Should I be worried about you two?" Maddie asks, sitting on the couch, "You're gonna be partners in crime."

"Just wait until we join forces with Christopher," He scoops his niece onto his knee, "It will be over for all of you."

"What is it about you, Evan?" Maddie asks, "The way she looks at you - the way everybody looks at you, it's like-"

He asks, curious, "Like what?"

"I don't know," She tilts her head, "Like you're the key to the mysteries of the universe."

He barks a laugh, "Maybe, I am."

Maddie grabs her book from the coffee table, "Chim thinks you're a trained hypnotist."

"No comment."

Maddie throws her head back with a laugh.

Buck turns to Jee, "Where's my nose?"

She reaches up, grabbing his nose.

"That's right!" He praises, "You're a genius."

Jee-Yun blabbers, "Ev-an!"

Maddie sits bolt upright, "Did she just?"

Jee-Yun knows a couple of words - Ma, Dada, No, Yes, but she's hasn't ventured any further.

Jee-Yun swings her arms around, "Evan!"

Oh, and he melts, a delighted cry catching in his throat.

His teary eyes meet Maddie's.

Every time someone utters his given name, Evan is one step closer to the light.

With Jee-Yun's soft squeal, he's out - the darkness now, a distant memory.

"Yes," He holds her up, "That's me!"

***

By Halloween, Evan barely notices the change - it goes to show how fantastic his family is.

He fishes out the insides of a pumpkin, humming 'This is Halloween' under his breath.

Hen's amused look bores into him.

He shakes his hands, "This is fun."

"How?" She laughs, "I once had my hand inside a man's chest, and somehow, this is worse."

Buck reclines his head with a laugh; he grabs a cloth, drying his hands.

"Hey, Evan!" Chimney sings from downstairs, "I need you and your abnormal height!"

"Again?!" Buck hollers back, not dropping his grin, "Chim, this is borderline exploitation!"

Hen bows her head, chuckling.

Buck hears the ladder being pulled out.

Hen raises her eyebrows, "You better go, Buck, or we'll be taking him to the emergency room."

"Oh," Buck runs, "Stop it, Chim, I'm coming!"

***

Buck's definition of a perfect weekend is spending it with the Diaz Boys - teasing Eddie endlessly and sneaking treats with Christopher, even though they both know that Eddie sees what they're doing.

Evan was apprehensive when Eddie suggested they took a trip to the carnival - rollercoasters, and crowds - reminded him too much of the calm before the tsunami.

He agrees to go - 'exposure therapy,' Eddie calls it, and Buck knows he's right.

It's okay, and they have a ton of fun.

Buck wins one too many prizes for Christopher, which Eddie ends up carrying, along with Christopher's crutches, but he doesn't complain.

It's easy to understand why Christopher wants to hold Buck's hand - he remembers the day at the Pier, too.

Knowing that the ocean is an hour away helps because at least that's not a natural disaster that could stop them in their tracks.

Thanks to the pandemic restrictions, there are fewer people, which eases the pressure further.

Sunset was almost two hours ago, and Christopher keeps yawning in-between words.

Without a second thought, Buck kneels, holding out his hands, "Here we go, buddy."

Christopher shuffles forward, tucking his face against Evan's shoulder.

Buck gathers him, letting Christopher tangle his legs around his middle before getting up, "There we go, I've got you."

Eddie smiles fondly, "We should head back to the car."

"Yeah," Buck sings, patting Christopher's back, "Which way is it?"

Eddie points, "That way, I think," He darts his head around, "Hopefully."

Buck snorts a laugh, "We'll find it, eventually."

Christopher is ten, he usually doesn't like being carried around anymore, but he settles in Buck's grasp, content.

Buck fears the day that they won't be able to scoop him up - he knows that anxiety is doubled, in Eddie's case.

"You okay with him?" Eddie whispers.

"Of course," Buck grins, "I'm legal guardian material."

Eddie scoffs a laugh, shaking his head.

"He's getting taller recently," Buck comments, "It's insane."

"Usually what happens with kids, Buck," Eddie teases.

"Ha, ha," Buck replies, monotone.

"Dad, Buck...." Christopher shushes, "I'm sleeping," He mutters.

Eddie bits his lip to conceal a laugh, "Sorry, bud."

"We'll keep it down," Buck adds, tapping his back.

Christopher tightens his arms around Evan, his head lulling on his shoulder.

"You okay there, bud?" Buck asks.

"Yeah," Christopher breaths sleepily, "You're comfy."

"Well, thank you."

Christopher goes quiet, and for a moment, Buck thinks he's fallen asleep, but then he speaks, "Love you, Evan."

Evan's breath catches sharply; he tightens his grasp, "Love you too, kid."

His family, Buck can't quite believe his luck - they're perfect, in every sense of the word.

***

Unfortunately, not every use of his given name comes at a happy time, but that would be beside the point.

'Buck,' 'Evan,' and even 'Buckaroo,' - they need to be used, freely, no matter the time of the day or what is happening. It helps; it means that he can't associate any of them with a particular emotion or trauma.

Evan scouts the roof of a decrepit apartment complex - that is, according to dispatch, set for demolition, but they've received calls about somebody being trapped on the top floor.

Time hasn't been kind to the structure, narrowing their time for a search and rescue.

So, starting from the roof and working down seems like the best bet.

Buck steps towards the door, the foundation creaks, dangerously loud under his foot.

He grabs Hen's low-hanging wrist as the roof gives way below them.

He doesn't remember what happens next.

With the dangerous nature of their jobs - Evan's name and all the possible variations are often uttered in worry.

He blurts awake with desperate rapid breaths; every ache and pain catches up with his concussed mind, "Hen?"

Hen's panicked voice cautions, "Buck don't move!"

The light is low, but he can see, despite the abundance of dust particles.

His back rests against debris; he can tell by the throbbing pain in his biceps that he didn't land in the position he was in, more likely manhandled into place.

He doesn't want to consider the time that Hen spent alone, waiting for him to wake, "Hen," He repeats - desperate.

"I'm here."

He lifts his head, "Are you hurt?"

She crawls into view, hauling her gear along with her, "I'm fine," She promises.

He traces his eyes over her - she's got a couple of scratches, but nothing too worrying, "We both fell?" He asks, confused.

"Yeah," She seems guilty, "But I was lucky."

"Why?"

She presses her fingers to his pulse point, "I had a soft landing."

"Yeah?"

"You."

"Oh," He laughs at the absurdity, "I'm an excellent crash mat."

She glares, "That's not funny."

"It kind of is," He offers her his dopiest smile, "Glad I saved you."

"Thank you," She kisses his forehead, "Now, stay awake."

His eyelids are heavy, "What about the victim?"

"Dead," She sighs.

Buck changes the subject, "What's wrong with me?"

"Broken arm," She lists, "Some blunt force trauma, and—" Her throat cracks; she can't say it.

"And?"

"Ruptured spleen," She sniffles, "I think."

Buck mutters, small, "Oh, that's not good."

She grips his hand, "All you've gotta do is stay awake, okay?"

He tries, but his eyes are heavy.

"Evan," She grabs his chin, "Please don't close your eyes."

"Hen."

"You're not dying on me," She orders, "I won't let you."

He smiles, weak, "Okay."

"I'm right here," She vows, "I'm not going anywhere."

He praises, "You're gonna be a great doctor."

"I know," She tells him, "You don't need to tell me that now, though."

"I have to, just—"

"Zip it, Buckaroo," She snaps lovingly, "We're getting out of here, you hear me? You're gonna help plan my surprise party when I graduate, and then we're gonna get drunk together."

"I'd like that."

She presses their foreheads together, "Just stay awake."

"I will."

***

Buck knows he's far too comfortable in hospitals; he is familiar with the staff and can easily snag an extra pudding at mealtimes, thanks to an older nurse who first treated him following his emergency tracheotomy and had on every subsequent visit.

Still, despite the laughs he has, he can't wait to escape - back to normality.

He folds his LAFD hoodie when Eddie swings inside, hand grasping the doorframe, "You ready?"

Buck turns his head, "Did you grab my meds?" He asks.

Eddie holds up a clear bag, "Right here."

"Thanks."

Eddie steps inside to place the medication into Buck's backpack; he then takes over, zipping up the bag.

Evan hums a laugh, "I can do that, you know?"

"I know," Eddie prods Buck's shoulder, "But we wouldn't want you to throw your stitches."

Buck perches on the bed, "Hen would kill me."

"Hen would kill us," Eddie corrects, "Mainly me."

Evan snorts, "Why?"

"I'm in charge of keeping you in line, apparently," He chuckles.

Buck hangs his head as he laughs, rubbing at the nape of his neck.

Eddie's tone turns sincere, "Are you alright?"

Buck's okay - really. The pain medication is doing its job, and he barely feels the ache in his side - what's on his mind is more complicated than that.

Eddie grips his shoulder, "Buck?" He fixes him with a concerned glance, "What's going on?"

He shrugs, "It's complicated."

Eddie sits, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I almost died," Buck lets go of a breathless laugh, "Again."

Eddie holds a hand in front of his face, failing miserably to hide a grin.

Buck's eyes widen, "What's so funny?"

"Sorry," He moves his hand away, "Just déjà vu - but last time, this was the other way around."

"It was," Buck confirms - the conversation is falling in the direction he needs it to go, "When you told me about your attorney and Christopher, I was scared. I never thought that anybody would trust me as much as you do; Christopher is your life, your everything, and I'm just me."

"You're you," Eddie repeats, softly stern, "That's why I made the decision."

Buck's shoulders sag, "I know."

"You fight for what you believe in, Buck, and you've never once stopped fighting for him," Eddie starts, "You almost killed yourself trying to find him during the tsunami," He takes a breath, "Hen told me about the well collapse; how one of the only words they could get out of you was Christopher's name. Your concern for him became your priority, even when he wasn't in any danger. I knew, then, that it was you because if I had died that day, you would have been taken away from each other, and that wouldn't have been right."

Evan's world would fall apart without Eddie, so would Christopher's - at least together, they'd have somebody to cling onto.

"If I die on this job," Eddie continues, "I'll die knowing that you two have each other."

Tears glisten in Buck's eyes, "So, that's why you changed your will."

"Yeah."

Buck settles his hands on his rocking knees.

Eddie questions, "Is there something else?"

Evan nods deliberately, "When I get hurt, Maddie can get a little short with me."

"She's afraid of losing you."

"Of course," Buck fidgets, locking his fingers together, "Maddie's lost too much. She's already had to stand by, watch our brother die, and live with the fallout. The decisions my parents made when they had me."

Eddie hisses, "Buck—"

"I know, I am wanted," He assures, "By her, by you, by the team - but this isn't about that."

Eddie's expression relaxes, glad that he doesn't have to lecture Buck on his importance again.

"It's just," Buck sighs, "Maddie latches to those she loves, and she can't let go - I wouldn't want to put her in a place where that is her only option."

Eddie brow furrows, "I'm not following."

"I'm going to make an amendment to my living will," Buck concludes, the space between each breath grows shorter.

"What amendment?"

He lowers his head, "I'm going to give you power of attorney."

Eddie's face softens, "Oh."

"Maddie has it right now," Buck scratches at his cheek, "But I've spoken to her about changing it."

Eddie's eyes widen, "You have?"

Evan nods, "It was my parents before, but they don't know me, well enough, to make the right decisions, but you do - and I know that you'd be strong enough to make them."

"Evan," Eddie meets his gaze, "I can do that, for you," He vows, "And, I understand not wanting Maddie to make those decisions, but what about Bobby?"

"I thought of Bobby, but then I remember—"

Eddie realizes, "His kids." Bobby is one of the strongest men they know, but if he was ever faced with the decision to take Buck off life support, he'd crumble under the weight of it all.

"I know this is big and that these decisions would hurt you," Evan croaks, "But I have faith that you could make them."

"I could," He confirms, "Evan, if I die, you become my son's legal guardian, and I'm sure that wasn't easy for you to process because yes, I trust you, but in that scenario, I'm dead," He lifts his shoulders in a shrug, "If you could do that, I can do this."

Evan leans, gathering his friend in his arms, "Thank you," He whispers, gripping tight, "For everything."

[avengerscompound]

Until the End of the World - 12

Until the End of the World: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count:  1590

Rating:  E

Warnings: pregnancy, light angst

Synopsis: Four years after Steve and Bucky got to the bottom of the HYDRA conspiracy that had led to you and your son being hunted for the first three years of his life, you, Bucky, and Steve have carved out a nice life together.  Things are calm and you feel like a family unit.  When Geo starts calling Bucky and Steve ‘dad’, a decision is made to try and add to your family.

Things aren’t as calm as they seem.  When your pregnancy hits the papers, HYDRA rears its head once again, and Steve and Bucky need to track you down to protect the family they had created.

Chapter 12

It was with trepidation that you approached Geo with the idea of either Steve or Bucky adopting him.  The feelings were a strange disconnect to what was actually happening in your life, but in a way that fit how things were going in your life.  You felt more at home and at peace than ever, and yet your home was currently mid-construction and a complete shambles.  You felt safe and yet you were basically being stalked by the paparazzi and you couldn’t go outside without fighting your fight or flight instinct.

Now here you were, having a child with two men not just willing, but exhilarated at the thought.  Yet, when it came to them adopting the child you already had, it felt like you were losing something rather than gaining it.

Letting either of them adopt him, was letting go of the last link you had to John and John had given up everything for you and Geo.

Steve and Bucky were nervous too.  You didn’t have to be a mind reader to tell that.  They were scared that he’d reject them, and you knew how bad that would feel.

You decided to approach Geo after school, the three of you walking together to pick him up and then stopping in at a gelateria on the way home so there was something a little special about it.  The paparazzi were out in force because the school pick-up was predictable and while all three of you had been out together since the pregnancy, it hadn’t been often, and usually, you drove first, so most of the time it wasn’t such a big deal.  This time they were on you like a rash as the three of you walked up the street.  Many trying to get Steve to comment on the pregnancy or the nature of your relationship.

“Are you sure you want to do this in public?”  You asked.

“It’ll be fine,” Steve said.  “We’ll sit inside up the back.  They can’t follow us onto private property and take our pictures like that.”

You nodded and pushed your sunglasses up on your nose more.  One of the things you hated most about the paparazzi since they had gotten so interested in your life, was it made it difficult to know if there was anyone else to worry about.

You arrived at Geo’s school to his surprise and on the walk back Steve and Bucky flanked you both in an attempt to keep you partially protected from the photographers.  Ducking into the cool of the gelateria was a blessed relief and you took a table up the back while Steve went and bought ice cream for everyone.

“So Geo,” Steve said when you were all settled at the tiny red table with your deserts.  “We had something we wanted to ask you about.”

Geo looked up, licking his ice cream cone and getting the mix of cookie dough and chocolate on his face.  “What is it?”

“We’ve been talking, and we think it might be good if either me or Bucky adopted you,” Steve explained.  “Make it official, you know?”

Geo looked from Steve to you a little startled.  He furrowed his brow and his legs started to giggle under the table.  “Mom?”

“It’s okay, bud,” you assured him.  “Whatever you’re feeling is normal and valid.”

“Is it okay?”  Geo asked.

A sick guilty feeling bubbled up in you.  The fact that everyone had known that your reaction to this wouldn’t be positive made you feel terrible.  Them wanting to officially be family should be a good thing and yet every single one of them, including your seven-year-old son, knew that you wouldn’t like the idea and you felt horrible that they’d been holding back because of you.

“Yeah, honey,” you said.  “This is your choice.”

“But… my dad… my real dad…” he said, shifting nervously.

“Your dad loved you so much,” you said, tears pricking your eyes.  “Even though he only got to meet you for such a short amount of time.  You were the most important person to him in the whole world.  He wanted you to grow up happy and safe more than anything else.  If having Bucky or Steve adopt you will make you happy then he would want you to do it.  It would definitely keep you safe if they do.  It would mean no matter what else happened they’d be you dads officially.”  Bucky handed you a napkin wordlessly and you used it to wipe your eyes.  “But if you don’t want to, that’s okay too.”

Geo nodded and furrowed his brow as he began to lick his ice cream cone.  He held out one sticky hand and looked at Steve.  “Can I use your phone, please?”

“Uh, sure,” Steve said, getting out his phone as Bucky wiped Geo’s hand clean.  “It’s okay if you don’t know what you’re feeling.  You can talk to us.”

“I just wanna…” he said, taking Steve’s phone.  Whatever he wanted, he never said.  He looked down at the phone and his eyes started to flicker and electric green.

“Are you talking to FRIDAY?” You asked.

He nodded in response and you put your hand on Steve’s leg.  “It’s okay.  He just trusts her opinion.”

Steve seemed to relax a little and looked out of the window.  There were still paparazzi out there but they seemed to be getting a little bored.

You kept your hand on Steve’s leg as you ate your gelato and waited for Geo to be ready to talk again.  After a little while, he looked up at both Steve and Bucky.  “Who’d be the one?”

“Well,” Steve said.  “We haven’t decided that.  We thought you should get a say.”

“But we’d both be really happy if you chose us,” Bucky said.

“You can’t both do it?”  Geo asked.

“I can certainly petition to do it,” Steve asked.  “Some places you can, but not many.  And there was a case a while ago that was similar only it was two dads who were married to each other who had a baby with a friend.  Both dads weren’t legally allowed to be guardians and this is even more tricky than that.”

You liked how Steve didn’t speak down to Geo and answered as honestly as he could even if Geo didn’t quite understand the finer points of why it wasn’t possible.

“This won’t change the fact we’re both your dad,” Bucky added.  “It’s just that only one of us can adopt you.”

“Can you try?”  Geo asked.

Steve nodded.  “We can try.  No promises that it will work.”

“Okay,” Geo said softly.

“So you want us to?”  Bucky asked.

“Yes,” he said, quietly.  “I want it.”

Steve smiled and rubbed Geo’s shoulder.  “Come here, G.”

You took Geo’s ice cream from him and he hugged Steve and Bucky at the same time.  The two men, wrapping their arms around the boy.  Outside the paparazzi seemed to pick up their interest.  Taking photos and you couldn’t even imagine what speculations would come out of those photos.

“If we both can’t,” Steve said, letting Geo go.  “Do you have a preference?”

Geo shook his head quickly.  “I don’t want to be the one to choose.”

“Okay,” Steve said, soothingly.  “That’s okay.  We can do something like flip a coin if you want?  Does that sound fair?”

Geo nodded.  “Yeah, that’s good.”

“You’ve made us really happy, bud,” Bucky said, smiling broadly.

“I’m happy too,” Geo said grinning.  “Will I change my last name?”

Steve gave a half shake of his head as you felt tears threaten again.  “If you really want to, I don’t think anyone will stop you.  But I think - because of what your dad did for you - maybe it’s better if you keep yours because it was his last name.  Bucky and I would be honored if you did take our name, but I think it might be nice if you didn’t for his sake.”

Geo frowned and nodded.  “Yeah.”  He looked over at you and patted your arm.  “Are you okay, mommy?”

He hadn’t called you mommy since he was six and hearing it was almost like a time warp to when he was little.  You hugged him and rested your chin on the top of his head.  “Yeah.  I’m okay.”

“I’ll keep my name for him,” Geo said, his voice a little muffled because of how you were holding him.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, honey,” you assured him.  “You can do this for you.”

He nodded and looked up at you.  “No, I want to keep it.”

You smiled and closed your eyes, holding him close until he pushed back.  “Okay, mom.”

You laughed and wiped your eyes, handing him his ice cream back.

“Well, we’ll start the paperwork and petition to be allowed to adopt you together,” Steve said.  “That might out us as polyamorous.  Are we okay with that?”

“I’m okay with it,” you said and gestured out the window.  “When they get answers, maybe they’ll get bored.”

“They’ll get worse before they get better,” Steve warned.

“I dunno though,” Bucky said.  “I know we’re not hiding it, but it’ll be good just having us be a family and no one guessing anymore.”

You gave a small nod.  He was right.  This change was one of the ones that scared you the most, but in the end, it would be for the best.  You were a family.  It would be nice if it could become more official.

// NEXT

[lovinlikeloki]

The Lone Wolf

Masterlist // 04

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 2.4k

King T'Challa agreed to let us stay here for a few days so that we can both recover from our fight and figure out our next move. Rogers, however, told us not to take too long, T'Challa is being very benevolent and we shouldn't risk our safety or the cleanliness of his reputation.

We've already discussed vague ideas of where we're going and who with. Splitting up is obviously the best idea, divide and conquer, and all that. Clint and Scott are going back to their families, with any luck they'll be able to negotiate for some sort of house arrest deal, but it won't be so easy for the rest of us.

The captain and Wilson are planning on sticking together, maybe go through Europe. Romanoff is planning on doing her own thing, as she usually does. Wanda is also planning on Europe, and with any hope she'll take me with her. We're still a bit awkward after our conversation in the bedroom but we're just kinda pretending it never happened. Right now I'm just discussing my plans with Wanda.

"What's your plans Fi?" she asks me.

"I was hoping to come with you Wands," I reply.

"No, absolutely not. That is not happening."

"Why the hell not? I can't go home; they have my information! And I don't want to hear the lecture that Shéa and Erin will have planned, they aren't my parents, not after they disowned me, but as legal guardians they'll have been informed."

"But Fia-"

"But nothing! I can't go back. They'll have talked to Orlaith by now, everyone knows she's my best friend. Not only that, but someone will have pointed them in Eoghan's direction and I especially can't endanger the pub. That is Eoghan's job, all the mercs' jobs, and I'm not going to take that away from them."

"Fianna I just want you to have a normal life. To be a normal teenager!"

"But I can't! Don't you get that? Ever since the damn experiments I can't be a normal teenager. My DNA has been ripped apart and rewritten, I'm not even human anymore. I'm not normal... and I never will be, not again."

"Well... I- I have an idea. Look you're not gonna like it but-"

"No."

"But I didn't even-"

"You just said I'm not gonna like it."

"Just listen Fianna," Wanda pleads.

"Fine. Go ahead," I roll my eyes.

"There's somewhere you can go. You'll be able to negotiate terms and you will be able to lead a somewhat normal life, wolf and all."

"It better not be-"

"Yes, it's Tony Stark."

"No. No way. There is no way I'm going to him of all people for help."

"Fianna please. He'll help you."

"No. He's the reason- Look Wanda, he's not in my good books. He wasn't before, and he sure as hell isn't now. Not after... not after last year."

"He can help you. He knows what you mean to me, what you meant to both of us. I've forgiven him, it's time that you do too," Wanda reasons.

"But he killed-" I trail off, tears starting to roll down my cheeks, "He's responsible for-"

Wanda moves closer, rubbing my back, letting me lean my head on her shoulder, "I know Fia, I know. He didn't though. He might've created Ultron, but he was trying to stop him too. He never meant for anyone to get hurt. Especially not Pi-"

"Don't," I jerk my head up, "No- na habair ainm s'aige! Ní dúirt- Ní dúirt mé é ó a bhfuair sé bás. Le do thoil— Wanda please."

(don't say his name! I haven't said— I haven't said it since he died. Please-)

"Okay, I won't say his name. But you won't even begin to move on, you won't begin to heal until you accept that he's gone."

I move back from her, shaking my head, "But he can't be. He just can't be gone. I already told you, he was my everything. I'm lost without him."

"But you weren't lost before him drăga, were you?" Wanda tries to reason with me.

(Darling)

"No," I wipe my tears away, "No I wasn't... but that was before all of this. Before the experiments. Before these powers. Before I met him. I can try to move on, I can, and say that maybe with time I do. But I'll always come back to him. Always love him. Always love him first. Before whoever I'm with. Whoever I marry. Whoever is the parent of my kids. They'll always be second best."

"I know, volk, I know," Wanda cradles my face in her hands, "But you will love again, maybe not as much, but you will," she wipes the tears still streaming down my face, "And while it won't be as strong it will still be as real. And no matter who it is, you know he'd be proud. You know that, right?"

(Wolf)

I nod my head, her hands moving with it before engulfing her in a hug. Wanda wraps her arms around my upper back and my head, soothing me like she did way back when. We stay like that for a minute or two and though it was a while before we pulled away it still felt too quick.

"And I'll always be here for you, fetiţa mea. Now, let's not dwell on the past, or on the future. Let us spend our time here making good memories, yeah?" Wanda smiles at me.

(My baby girl)

"Yeah," I breath, smiling back at her.

° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ ° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ °

I'm currently in Shuri's lab looking at all the cool tech she's made. She knows my skills and intellect and thought it would be cool if I got to look over her stuff and maybe even add stuff to it.

I get to browse the countertops with everything on them, the thing that sparks my interest most is the kimoyo beads. They are so freakin' cool.

I mean these thing can scan things, help heal people, control Wakandan tech, and they even make frickin' holograms! How cool is that?

"Ah, I see you've found the kimoyo beads," Shuri smiles when she sees them in my hand.

"Yeah, the tech is amazing, I mean I wouldn't even know where to begin making something like this. It's honestly incredible," I gush.

"Well, I could teach you how get started on advanced tech like this id you'd like," Shuri offers and I beam.

"Seriously?"

"Of course, I trust you, besides you're definitely capable."

"Okay then," I smile, "Where do we begin Múinteoir Shuri?"

(Teacher <prefix>)

Shuri then begins to teach me some little tips and tricks for basic tech that makes much more advanced in the long run. Just add an extra circuit here or just alter one you've already got and it takes your shit to a whole new level. Shuri might only be a little older than me but she's got some damn good skills.

She also asks me for suggestions for the new Panther Habit for T'Challa's new role as Black Panther. I give small ideas here and there but one that sticks is taking the shock absorbance to another level, redistributing the energy and making the shoes silent.

Its really nice to work with someone with Shuri's level of intelligence, she's like one of the smartest in the world. It's definitely better than the eejits (idiots) at school that I have to work with. While I'm nowhere near her level it's still good to be able to work with someone that knows what you're about to say before you even get the words out.

° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ ° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ °

After spending time in the labs with Shuri I go to the rest of the team. I'm kind of an outsider to them, they don't really know me and I don't really know them. I decide to try and approach one of them to try and... I don't know, bond? Or just become less of a stranger at least. I decide to go for who I deem the most approachable, Natasha Romanoff.

Now I know that you may think I'm crazy, thinking the easiest to approach is the fierce Black Widow, but my reasoning is somewhat solid. Romanoff was trained to read the room, read people and therefore she probably knows more about me than she lets on. We also share a somewhat similar background which while I wouldn't use as bonding material it means she can probably relate.

I sit down next to her and wait for her to make the first move, that way I won't force interaction and she can leave if the idea of it bothers her.

"Hey kid," Natasha begins.

"Hey," I reply.

"So, you're the kid Wanda always talks about," Natasha says absentmindedly.

"I guess I am. Wanda talks about me?"

"Oh all the time. She loves to talk about her little sister, the Volchitsa."

(She-wolf)

"Yeah... the irony of it all is almost comical."

"What irony," Natasha questions and I realise I hadn't explained.

"It's just my name," I shake my head, "Fianna, it's an Irish name. It has many meanings behind it depending on where you look, but the direct translation is what's funny."

"And why's it funny?" Natasha quirks an eyebrow.

"Because, what could be better for the girl who's a wolf than a name that means deer?"

Natasha nods, a small smile on her lips, "I do see the irony there. A predator named after her prey. But the Volchitsa is a good strong name, names are powerful things."

"They used to call me the Wölfin in HYDRA, another she-wolf nickname, this time in German, it was becoming feared. Black Widow is a strong name, also scary. A good name for a skilled agent though, the spider who eats her mate."

(She-wolf)

"I didn't get to choose that name," Natasha tells me, "It was chosen for me when I was even younger than you."

"Oh, I- I'm sorry," I stammer.

"Don't be. As you said, it's another strong name, a scary one too. The important thing is that the name Black Widow was once feared for bad reasons, now it's welcomed for good ones. Wölfin was feared because she was strong and could be used for bad reasons, use that or pick your own name that can be welcomed because she can use her skills for good."

I nod my head, slightly in thought, "I've had many names since getting my powers, Wölfin by HYDRA, Volchitsa by the twins, and back home the mercs, they called me an Mac Tíre. Again it means wolf, but this time in Irish, it feels more me but I can't use it anymore. Not if I'm going where Wanda wants me to."

"As I said, names are powerful. Having too many doesn't have to be a bad thing, it gives you options, I've had many aliases in my time, Natalia Alianova Romanova, Natalie Rushman, Nadia Roberts. It means that you can be whoever you want."

"...That's inspiring. Wölfin was a weapon, a child soldier, not someone I wanna be."

"Then don't be. Volchitsa was who the twins saw you as. A fluffball that they needed to protect," Natasha points out.

"Not her either, I'm different, I've changed since the twins- since Wanda last knew me," I correct myself but Natasha knows my slip up, she does, however, not bring it up.

"That currently leaves you with Mactíre."

"Yeah, the mercenary with a bite. I wasn't the only young merc but I'm the most memorable back home. Mactíre isn't feared per se, but she's respected and dangerous but kind, fiercely loyal."

"That sounds like someone I'd wanna be."

I look her in the eyes and can tell she's genuine, of course she is. The Mactíre is a good person, or at least she is now, her past isn't so good, a lot bloodier than it is now, but she's different. Natasha's right when she says that names have power. Mactíre is who I am now, maybe if I change again I'll use a newer name, or not, maybe I'll be a Mactíre mark II.

"Thanks Natasha, that means a lot," I tell her.

She nods before asking a question, "What did you mean when you said you couldn't be Mactíre where Wanda wants you to go?"

I internally sigh, I slipped up, she's Romanoff of course she didn't let it slide.

"I- Wanda wants me to go to Stark when we split. She thinks that he'll protect me and let me be normal. But he won't, he only protects himself."

"That's not true you know. That's actually the reason he signed the accords, he thinks we need to be put in check or we'll lose more lives than we save."

"Is that really the reason?" I quirk an eyebrow, "Or did someone say something and he feels the need to cover his ass?"

"That I can't answer. But he would protect you Fianna, he protected Wanda when Sokovia happened."

"Maybe, maybe he won't since I helped Steve. All I know is that he's hurt people I love and I don't forgive easy. Loyal remember? Fiercely loyal."

Natasha ponders what I've said for a moment before carefully choosing her words. "You make points, but I believe that he'll do the right thing. It'd be good for both of you, you'd get closure for the one's he's hurt and he'll get to face the consequences of his actions like he wants to. Besides, if you need somewhere to lay low I might now somewhere you can stay for a bit until you sum up the courage to face him."

"I- really?" I ask, unsure of whether or not she's kidding.

"Really," she confirms.

"Why?"

"I know what it's like to have to face something... especially your past, you need to build up to it."

"Thank you Natasha."

[universe-n-3276]

Carrying the Moon

Chapter 11

“Hiii! We're back! "

"I'm in the kitchen!"

Alice picked Hero up from the stroller and went straight to Robbe. The final exams were approaching and both boys were spending most of their time studying at home or university. Sander was often in his atelier at the Academie to finish up his projects, so Hero spent his time with his grandparents or with the babysitter. That day, Alice had offered to take him for a walk in the park, while Robbe had stayed home on the books.

"Hi!"

"What’s smelling so good?"

“Hey, little bean! I missed you so much!"

Robbe took Hero in his arms and kissed his cheek. He felt so guilty because he couldn't take care of him these days and it was the same for Sander, but they both knew they were doing this for him and their family. Graduating with good grades would have guaranteed a better future for all of them. Besides, it was almost summer, and they would have much more time to spend together.

"I'm making lasagna. Do you wanna join us for dinner?"

"I’d love to, but I have a work dinner tonight."

"Next time. then."

"Sure."

Alice smiled, watching Robbe sit down with Hero on his lap and start taking off the small Ramones sweatshirt he was wearing. In such a short time, the boy she had seen grow up, had turned into a loving man and father. It seemed to come naturally to him, as if he had been predestined to be the father of that child, just like Sander.

"You're such a good dad."

"Thanks but I'm still learning. Sometimes it seems like I'm doing all wrong."

"That’s normal when you have kids, sweetheart. And you're still so young! When I had the twins, I was way older than you, and it was something I planned with my ex-husband for so long. Still, life likes surprises and ended up giving us two babies instead of just one. And I felt exactly like you."

"Sander is my favorite person in the world, so, to me, you did a pretty good job with him."

“Thanks! I'm so proud of him, he turned out to be such a wonderful human being. Both of my children are."

The boy couldn’t hold back the annoyed expression that was painted on his face. In the month everyone had begged Charlotte to try to be a mother, Sander and Robbe had talked a lot about how her behavior was extremely wrong and deplorable in their eyes. Not because she didn't want to be a parent, but because of the way she was acting toward that poor child. She refused to look at him, to touch him, or hold him. Then Hero had become their son and the feeling they felt towards the girl had strengthened, because after all, that torture had been inflicted on the person they both loved so much. Alice noticed Robbe's expression and smiled because it was not difficult to put herself in his shoes, she was also a mother after all.

"I know you think Charlotte did something awful to Hero, but I'm proud of her because she dared to take a step back, and stand up for herself."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I mean, I was scared of being a parent at 23, but now I couldn’t imagine my life being any different. Hero and Sander are my everything."

"You guys are such a nice little family, and thanks to you and Sander, I have the chance to be a grandmother to my little Hero here."

When the sound of the keys turning in the lock reached the kitchen, Hero clapped his hands happily, already knowing that this was the signal that heralded his papa’s arrival.

"I'm home!"

“Hi, baby! We're in the kitchen!"

“Hi, ma! Thanks for taking care of Hero today."

"Don't mention it, honey. I'm happy to help. Now I have to go, see you next time."

They all greeted Alice, and as soon as they were alone, Sander ruffled Hero's hair, then kissed Robbe softly, and he finally felt at home. Calmer, more relaxed, more himself, wrapped in the love that was so vivid between those walls. He couldn’t help but smile while his lips were still pressed to his boyfriend’s.

"Hi."

"I made lasagna!"

"Now I'm scared."

At that comment, Robbe playfully pushed Sander away, and looking him in the eye, he mouthed an unmistakable "fuck off", making Sander laugh out loud, but also Hero, who was always amused to see his parents bicker in that way.

During an evening, when all of them miraculously managed to take a break from studying, Sander and Robbe invited Jens and Lucas over for dinner.

That small meeting was supposed to be held in their friends' apartment, but Hero and his energy took up the space of ten elephants, so they opted to stay at their home.

At that moment, Hero was sitting on Lucas's lap, watching, completely captured, the people around him.

"I've been waiting for the moment when he will call me uncle since he was born."

Everyone laughed and Jens looked at his boyfriend with so much love in his eyes, that Robbe was sure, if they weren't both still busy with college, he would have asked Lucas to marry him long ago.

"When are you giving me another nephew, though?"

Robbe frowned as if Lucas had suddenly grown another head and Sander laughed, taking another sip of the only beer he had decided to drink that evening.

"At this point, if we were straight, I’d tell you that we’re using protection again, but that’s not quite the case."

"So you got tested?"

"No."

They answered in unison. Sander still was calm, Robbe was already completely embarrassed. He didn't understand why Lucas wanted to go through that topic. The wine he was drinking was probably already starting to kick in, destroying his brain-mouth filter.

"What? Why?"

"I hadn't sex with anyone while we were separated."

"I wasn't talking about you."

Robbe was trying so hard not to get involved into that conversation and he was throwing awkward looks at Jens, begging him to find a way to change the subject, but when the room became silent and he saw everyone's eyes on him, he understood that he had been called into question.

"Ow. Sander is still my first and only."

"What? He must be really good if you didn’t feel the need to be with anyone else. Even just out of curiosity. I mean, in my experience the Driesens are pretty passionate lovers, so I get that."

“Lucas, I love you, but just shut up. That big mouth of yours is gonna get you in trouble one of these days."

"That’s exactly what you told me last night when I was giving you-"

"Oh, my."

Jens buried in his face in his hands, continuing to mutter incomprehensible words, while Lucas had a Cheshire cat grin on his face and was stroking his boyfriend’s. Then the conversation somehow shifted back to less embarrassing topics, as Sander got up and went to get their takeout at the door.

"Did he already called you dad?"

Robbe shook his head. That was a very sensitive subject for him. Two months had passed, and despite Hero already calling Sander papa and Alice oma, he seemed unwilling to call Robbe dad. This had started an endless series of thoughts on how Hero would never see him as a parent, and often he and Sander had ended up arguing, because, after all, it was Sander’s fault, if they had broken up.

Sander, who was holding three bags in his hands, had picked up the conversation. The way his boyfriend reacted made him feel bad, but he was convinced that Hero would say that magical word in a few days, also because, whenever Robbe wasn’t around, he tried to make Hero repeat that word until they were both exhausted. He walked over to Robbe and pressed a kiss on his temple, before setting the containers with the food on the table and going to sit next to Lucas.

"It will happen soon, don't get down on yourself."

Sander was immensely grateful for Jens' words and was Robbe too because smiled at him. Hero, who was still sitting on Lucas's lap, caught Sander's gaze and called his name to make sure he had his attention, then pointed his little grabby hands in Robbe's direction, causing an endless series of “aaaaaw”.

“You haven't seen me for a week and you want to go with your dad? Thanks, I'll remember it, when you’ll ask me to drink together your first beer!"

At Lucas' huffy comment, everyone burst out laughing and Robbe walked over to pick up Hero, leaving him a kiss on his head. The baby’s gesture only served to confirm Sander's theory. He just needed to say that word, to complete the puzzle.

"You are his favorite!"

Jens said, turning to his best friend.

“Hey, did you really have doubts about it? He has my genes after all."

After dinner, Hero fell asleep in Sander's arms, who promptly carried him to bed, and the conversation became more intimate and serious.

"What will you do if Charlotte wanted to get Hero back?"

At Jens's question, Sander stiffened and clenched his jaw. That was something he had struggled since he decided to become a father, both because he couldn't forgive his sister for how she treated Hero and because the twins hadn't spoken to each other for nearly a year now, and it had never happened before.

“My mother is Hero's legal guardian because here in Belgium you have to be at least 25 to adopt. I will use this year to find a job so that I can officially adopt him and Charlotte won’t be able to do anything about it. If she comes back sooner, I won't let her take him away. Robbe and I raised him. We are his parents. She is nothing to him."

His words were harsh, sharp, and angry. Robbe knew that Sander would fight hard to keep Hero with them. They had already talked about it before, but the tone never changed. Always so raw and emotional. Robbe put a hand on his boyfriend's back, starting to draw circles with it, to try to calm him down.

They had agreed, that once they were married, Robbe would legally adopt Hero, but also about the fact that everything should evolve naturally in that direction, without the need to push things due to bureaucratic issues. It was enough for Sander that Robbe felt as emotionally attached to Hero as any parent. He didn't need documents to prove it.

"However, she doesn't seem willing to do anything like that, or to get back to this side of the world."

"As if she had never done anything impulsive."

Sander knew that Lucas and Charlotte were still in contact and that nothing could break their bond. It didn't seem right that his best friend wasn't taking his side, also because he knew very well that he had loved Hero from day one. Maybe Lucas was good at not messing with his feelings and emotions. Or maybe he had simply learned to manage those things.

"The anger you’re feeling has made you forget that wanting to give Hero up for adoption was the only selfish thing your sister made during her life. She would never take him away from you. Trust me."

And perhaps Lucas was right, yet his words couldn’t erase the weird feeling that Sander was experiencing in his stomach for months

[previous] / [next]

[need-a-fugue]

We Grow Together - Chapter 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC

Summary: Relationships can be tough, especially when one person is a recovering-from-being-brainwashed-and-tortured former assassin and the other is an overworked mutant scientist. But hey, every couple has their struggles. Right? 

Warning(s): some angst, some emotional and mental turmoil… some bad language words... much fluff

Author’s Note: It’s Christmas in July! This is the second in the Supernova Series -- an AU wherein Bucky Barnes gets the girl, and a chance at a new life after finding Steve post-Winter Soldier. -- and it all begins with their first Christmas together.

“Yeah, I know,” he hears her say, voice muffled behind the door. Then, “I know. I didn’t forget,” after a long pause. She must be on the phone, he realizes when no other voice sounds in response. He knocks lightly before letting himself in.

“I will,” she says in an exasperated tone as she turns to face him, showing him a one minute finger. “I promise.”

He sets the grocery bags down on the counter and starts to unpack them while she finishes her call.

“Yes. I love you too,” she intones with a slight laugh. “Okay. Merry Christmas.” And she hangs up the phone. “What is all this?” she says with forced cheer as she turns back to face him.

“I’m making you dinner,” he mumbles, as he twists around, looking for somewhere on the cluttered countertops to set things down. “This place is a disaster.”

She pulls up a stool at the breakfast bar, rests her chin on her hand, and watches him work. His brow furrows in either confusion or disgust, or maybe both, as he shifts piles of papers and empty cans and bottles to make room.

He looks up at her and notices a melancholy, far off look in her eyes as she follows his movements. “Who do you love?” he asks simply.

She startles a bit. “What?”

“On the phone,” he states, pulling out a garbage bag from the cabinet. “You said, I love you too.”

He starts to toss the bottles and cans into the bag. “I’m recycling those,” she says, pointing to the trash in his hands. “Don’t throw them in with the trash.”

“Recycling,” he utters under his breath. It’s still a new concept to him. Of course so is all of the plastic people use nowadays. “You shouldn’t drink this crap anyway,” he says, holding up a few empty energy drink cans. “It’s poison.”

She rolls her eyes. “You sound like Natasha.”

He ties up the now full trash bag and stops everything else to gaze at her. She looks down, has for days. The holidays can have that effect on people, he’s no stranger to it himself. But he misses her smile. “So, who do you love?” he asks again, an impish quality to his voice.

“Just a friend,” she singsongs. “No need to worry.”

“I wasn’t worried. I just thought you might be talking to your family.”

She sighs, long and drawn out. “Yep. My family.”

“Or is it just a friend?”

“Same thing, I guess,” she says before propping herself up on the stool and leaning over the bar to look at the food he’s unpacked. “What are you making me?” she asks, clearly eager to change the subject.

“Christmas dinner,” he says with a nod. He turns around to flip on the oven and begins rummaging through the cabinets of the small galley kitchen. He comes up with a couple of small pots and a large roasting pan that she honestly didn’t know were even in there. Pepper had made sure that everyone’s apartment was fully stocked before they moved in. But she’d been here for more than two years now and had never come across those items before. Of course, she didn’t often go looking for cooking utensils. What would be the point in that when there was a perfectly good cafeteria downstairs and a common area upstairs that was always stocked with food?

“Christmas is tomorrow. And I think Tony’s expecting everyone in the grand hall,” she says, referring to the small ballroom just below the penthouse where their parties were typically held.

“Well,” he says turning to face her, leaning his hip against the oven, “tonight is our Christmas.” He shoots her a sly but genuine smile and she can’t help but return the expression.

“And you can do that?” she asks, leaning so far over the bar that she’s practically crawled on top of it. She’s looking through the piles of fresh vegetables and herbs that he’s laid out on the counter beneath the bar. “You know how to cook all of this?”

He walks over and lightly slaps her hands away. “Yeah, Tess. I can cook carrots and potatoes.” He side-eyes her as he gathers the produce and takes it to the sink. “You really have no idea how to cook anything, do you?”

She shrugs. “Never really came up.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I never really had to learn.”

She never talked about her family or where she came from or how she grew up. And other than a few questions here and there – because he was genuinely curious – he never pushed. It was obvious that her past was a bit of a sore subject, and no one understood that concept better than him.

She leaves her perch and comes to stand beside him at the sink. “You wanna wash these?” he asks, handing her some carrots. She takes them and runs them under the water. “You know how to peel?” he inquires, holding a potato in front of her.

“I can probably figure it out.”

He sets her up at the sink with a vegetable peeler – which she’d never seen either, oddly enough – and moves to the opposite corner to start prepping the chicken.

“Your mom taught you how to cook?” she asks quietly.

He nods, “She did. She said that she’d feed me ‘til I was 18, then I was on my own. And since she didn’t expect that I’d find a good woman to take care of me for a long time, I’d better learn how to fend for myself.”

Tessa laughed lightly. “Sounds like she knew you well.”

Bucky smiles to himself as he thinks back, remembering his mother’s words, her coy, crooked smile as she said them. “Yeah, she did.”

“I never knew my mom,” she says so softly, he almost doesn’t hear her. “Or at least I don’t remember her.”

Bucky looks over his shoulder at her and sees that she’s still bent over her potatoes, hyperfocused on peeling them just so. She makes no move to look at him, and he’s pretty sure that’s by design. It’s almost a test – seem too eager to know more and she’ll shut down completely, say nothing at all and she might never bring up her family again. He plays this game himself sometimes, not on purpose of course, but he’s noticed himself doing it just the same. Over the last year, since being brought into the fold here, he’s become more aware of how his struggles with his past affect those around him.

“Who raised you?” he asks, turning back to the chicken. It seemed safer to ask something like his than to push her on what happened to her mother.

“My grandfather for a while. Then Scott and Alex took us in.”

“Us?” he asks. He hears the peeler hit the side of the sink as soon as he says it, and he shuts his eyes, mentally kicking himself. She was talking and now he’s gone and ruined it. Is this how people feel around me? he wonders briefly.

She’s silent for a long moment as she retrieves the peeler and rinses it off. “Me and my sister,” she says finally, the words clipped short.

He lets out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. Maybe we come back to that later, he thinks to himself before asking, “Who are Scott and Alex?”

“My brothers,” she volunteers, this information coming out a little easier. “Well, adoptive. Sort of. After my grandfather died… no one wanted us. We didn’t have any other family. And no one would adopt a mutant.” She stops for a moment and he thinks that she might be done talking altogether. He’s just about to ask something else, anything else, just to keep her going, when she starts up again. “Most mutants don’t see their powers develop until puberty. I was four when it started. My grandfather never told anyone. But… I don’t know… I was just a kid… I don’t know how people found out. But Scott found us, or we found him. We met in a children’s home outside of Chicago. He was an orphan too. And Alex.” Bucky turns around to see her, watch her as she slowly, carefully peels each potato while talking about her brothers. “Scott was 15 at the time and he was just trying to find Alex, who’d aged out of the system.” She sets the peeler down and looks up at the cabinet in front of her, clearly gazing at nothing as she recalls, “He took care of us. He became our big brother. And when Alex found him and said he was taking him away to some school in upstate New York, Scott said that we needed to go with them.” She braces herself on the counter and shakes her head at the memory. “It was more… complicated than that, of course. But eventually Alex was able to become our legal guardian – after the Professor pulled a ton of strings. And then… well, I grew up at that school.” She turns around to face him, not at all surprised to see him watching her from across the small kitchen. “Hence not knowing how to cook.”

“So it was like a boarding school?” She nods. “I always thought you’d have to be crazy to go somewhere like that. I always figured they were like the Army, like basic training, only with more books and tests.”

She laughs a bit and leans back on the counter before saying, “Sometimes, maybe.” Then, shaking her head slightly, “It was a good place. With good people.”

He considers only briefly whether or not to ask the question begging to be asked. “So why are you here then? At Christmas… why aren’t you with your family?”

She looks at him long and hard before saying in a measured tone, “Same reason you aren’t with your family. They’re all dead.”

He sees the pain in her eyes when she says it, but he can also see the resolute tilt of her chin, the firm line of her lips. She’s doing all she can to make it seem okay, to fight off the sadness. That’s a trick he knows all too well. He looks away, knowing he can’t do anything to take away her pain breaks his heart. “I’m sorry,” he says simply.

She merely nods in response. “So,” she breathes out after a moment, “am I supposed to cut these up now or something?” She indicates the peeled potatoes on the counter.

He pushes off of the counter and goes to fill a large pot with water. “Nope,” he says, placing the pot on the stove and holding his hand out for them. “Now we boil them.”

She wrinkles her nose while handing over the potatoes. “Boil them?” she asks with a face. “That sounds gross. Are you sure we aren’t supposed to fry them or something?”

He chuckles. “Don’t you know how mashed potatoes are made?”

She thinks for a moment, making a totally new, completely adorable face. “From a box?”

“You’ve got a lot to learn, doll,” he laughs, shaking his head.

She scoots a bit closer to him and leans her head on his shoulder. “So you boil them and then you mash them?”

“Basically. Add butter and cream,” he replies, leaning his head onto hers.

“We’re not boiling the chicken, are we?”

He smiles wide. “No room in the pot.”

She steps back suddenly, cocking her head at him in an assessing way. “This isn’t my Christmas present, is it? A sarcastic cooking lesson?”

“You were expecting a present?” he asks, unable to hide the coy smirk on his face.

She rolls her eyes at him rather dramatically and he steps away from the stove to stand directly in front of her. His hands fall to her hips as he presses his forehead into hers. “Presents are for later,” he says softly. “It isn’t Christmas yet, remember?” He pulls back a bit and places a kiss on her crown. “And I’m not giving you a lesson. I’m making dinner.” He gives her a little shove with his left hand as he turns her toward the kitchen doorway. “You are going to take a bath,” he says, all but forcing her out of the room.

“Why? Do I stink?” she tosses over her shoulder with a wink.

“I don’t trust you in here. Go relax.”

She leans back over the breakfast bar on her way to the bathroom and says, “It’s been a long day. You might want to check on me to make sure I don’t fall asleep in there.”

He glances back at her and notices just how tired she looks. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he says before throwing his chin in the direction of the bathroom in a shooing manner.

                                                          000

An hour later, she’s back in the kitchen, this time cutting up apples for a pie. “Can’t you buy this stuff in a can?” she asks before letting out a long drawn-out yawn.

“That’s disgusting.” He absently scoots a little closer to her, unconsciously drawn to the clean honeysuckle scent clinging to her damp hair. “I don’t ever want to hear you say that again.”

She snorts out a laugh. “Just because it’s harder doesn’t mean it’s better. I’ve eaten ready-made pie filling before. And it was delicious.”

He stops pressing the dough into the pan and turns to face her, a look of utter horror on his face. “You ate pie filling?” he asks. She nods without glancing up. “As in, just the filling?”

“It was college. I was poor. Those cans were cheap.” She tosses the last pieces of apple into the bowl between and them and cocks her head in his direction. “I had a can opener. I had a spoon. And I have to tell you, that shit is de-licious.”

He shakes his head as though he might be able to fling the thought of her eating that crap out of a can like a deranged homeless person right out of his head. “We’re never speaking of this again.”

They work in silence as she tosses the apples with the melted butter and sugar he set out and he checks the potatoes. It’s nice. He can’t remember the last time he cooked a big meal like this. And while he and Steve sometimes have to dodge each other in their kitchen while putting together meals, he hasn’t really cooked with anyone in a long, long time. Actually, this whole evening reminds him of cooking with his sister. Being so much younger, she was always at a bit of a loss for what to do. Like Tessa, she turned her nose up at raw chicken, couldn’t fathom how myriad ingredients came together to make food, and spent a good deal of time pilfering anything mixed with sugar.

“If you keep eating them, there won’t be anything to fill the pie with,” he says softly, looking at her out of the corner of his eye.

She holds her hands up in mock surrender and takes a step back from the counter. He hears the apple crunch in her full mouth and can’t help but snicker as she attempts to choke down the evidence. “I’m hungry,” she whines then. “I can smell the food, but I can’t eat the food. It’s terrible.”

He dumps the apples into the pie pan before she can go back for more, sets the pie aside and washes his hands. “It’s almost ready,” he says, reaching for her. “You’re being very patient.”

She snuggles into his chest as his arms wrap around her. “Thank you for noticing,” she says with a smirk.

It’s actually more than hour before they can eat, but that isn’t entirely his fault. Yeah, the chicken took a little longer than he thought, but she’s the one who got a call and ducked out for “just a second” to check on something happening in the lab.

“Helluva second,” he says to her as she stomps back into the apartment almost an hour late. He has the table set and is sitting there with a beer in his hand and a smug smile on his face.

“I’m starving,” she drawls out, dragging herself dramatically over to the table.

“Why is anyone even up there?” he asks, referring to the research lab upstairs. “It’s Christmas Eve.”

She slumps into the seat across from him, rests her elbows on the table and drops her head into her hands. “It’s Stark Industries. Places like this are built on people who work holidays. Well, people who work all days, really. Every. Single. Day.”

“I remember having Christmas dinner with Howard,” he says, a far-off look gleaming in his eye for just a moment as he grasps at the old memory. “I think.” The memory is fuzzy, like so many others. But he’s sure that Howard was there, sure that he bought in turkey and roast potatoes and red wine – damn the rationing. He’s sure that he stood and gave a speech that lasted at least 10 minutes, even if he can’t recall a word that was said.

“Are these my plates?” she asks, pulling him from his reverie.

He looks up to find her examining the china closely, confused look on her face. He reaches over and plucks the plate from her hands. “They were in the top cupboard,” he says. “You’re probably too short to ever been able to find them.” He picks up his dish too and goes into the kitchen to prepare their plates. When she makes a move to get up to follow him, he turns and throws up his left hand in a stop gesture, waggling his index finger as a directive for her to sit back down.

“I’m not short,” she mumbles, resuming her head-in-hands position at the table. “I’m above average height for a woman.”

“Well then maybe you were too busy eating out of cans like a hobo to notice that you had fine china,” he intones from the kitchen.

“No one says hobo anymore.” She’s raises her head to look at the table in front of her, see if the silverware is at least the same that she normally uses. It is. The wine glass in front of her is a utensil she is more than familiar with. She perks up a bit, noticing the light liquid inside. “What’s this?” she asks, picking up the glass and taking a large inhale. Oaky. And… peachy?

“I don’t know,” he replies, returning and setting a full plate in front of her. “But the lady at the store said it was good.”

“It is,” she declares, as the just-dry-enough chardonnay slips down her throat.

The corner of Bucky’s mouth turns up in a small, crooked smile as he takes his seat across from her. “Good.” He looks over at her and watches her eyes close as she takes another sip. He can tell that she’s enjoying the wine, and he’s pleased about that, but he can also see the exhaustion on her face, the dark circles under her eyes, the puffiness of her lids. “Eat,” he directs, more than a little upset with himself for telling her it was fine to go check in at the lab.

She sets down her wine glass and picks up her fork with an excited, almost beaming expression on her face. They eat in silence for several minutes, Bucky eating like a normal person and Tessa shoveling mashed potatoes into her mouth like a starving toddler.

“You’re gonna choke,” he says finally, laughing.

Her mouth is full when she replies. “No.” Then, following the massive gulp, “I didn’t know this was what mashed potatoes were,” she says with a big, dumb smile. “And the chicken too…” He looks down as the food in front of him, averting his eyes as an unwelcome blush takes over his face. “It’s soooo good.”

“It’s really not that hard,” he says, shyly shuffling the vegetables on his plate with his fork.

He feels the top of her bare foot slowly creep up his leg as she says, “I’ve never had a guy make dinner for me before.”

“Really?” he asks incredulously. Her foot continues to slowly stroke his calf, which only adds to the redness in his cheeks.

“Well, Steve made me pizza once. And chicken soup. Oh and we experimented with sushi one night,” she recalls, waving her fork in the air. “But I guess that doesn’t really count.”

He looks up at her pointedly. “It better not.”

“Does that mean that pizza and sushi don’t count as dinner or that Steve doesn’t count as a guy?”

“Yes,” he says simply, feeling his cheeks cool as the sound of her laughter fills his ears.

Her foot has made the move from his calf to his inner thigh, and while the blush of embarrassment may no longer be on him, another awkward-for-dinner-time feeling is starting to take over. “You have no idea,” she starts in a low, seductive voice, “how much I’m looking forward to filling my mouth,” she continues, leaning forward, her toes creeping along the inseam of his pants, “with that apple pie.”

Her foot drops suddenly as she leans back in her chair, popping another bite of chicken into her mouth with a smug, satisfied smirk. He rolls his eyes as a deep chuckle emits from his chest. “You are…”

“Amazing?” she tries, mouth still full. He shakes his head and purses his lips like he’s trying to come up with the right word. “Perfect?” she asks with a swallow.

“Definitely not.”

“Beautiful?”

“Not quite what I was thinking.”

She sighs long and deep. “Brilliant? Sexy? Smart? Loyal? Coquettish?”

“I don’t even know what that means.”

“Honestly, I just keep coming back to amazing,” she says with a shake of the head.

He gazes at her from across the table, crooked smile slowly widening as she takes another bite and lets out a tiny blissful moan. “I was going to say a real jerk. But I like amazing,” he says with a nod. “It fits.”

“Yeah, it does,” she says with a smirk.

They finish the meal without words, just enjoying the food and enjoying knowing that the other is sitting right across the table. As soon as Bucky leans back in his chair, plate clean in front of him, Tessa gets up to collect the dishes. His hand comes up and takes hold of her wrist when she reaches in front of him. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I don’t mind,” she says, flipping her hair over her shoulder and easily slipping his grasp. “Need another beer?” she asks, grabbing the empty bottle along with the plate. He nods happily and settles back in his chair.

His gaze drifts towards the window as she heads into the kitchen. “It’s snowing,” he says, almost to himself. He hears the clatter of dishes hitting the sink and cringes. “You okay in there?”

She appears suddenly around the corner, beer in hand, bright smile on her face. “It isn’t Christmas without snow,” she says, completely ignoring his question. She offers him the bottle and he grabs her wrist instead and pulls her into his lap.

“So what was Christmas like at mutant military school?” he asks as she settles herself in.

“I don’t know,” she shrugs. “Quiet. Quieter anyway. A lot of the kids would go home for the holidays.” She takes a quick swig of his beer and lays her head on his shoulder. “I don’t know,” she repeats before going silent.

He brings up his right hand up to her head and runs his fingers through her hair. “I remember snowball fights,” he says. “And my mom yelling at me about catching pneumonia after coming home with wet mittens.” He chuckles a bit at the memory, but feels a surge of sadness at the same time. Because it’s one of just a handful of memories he still has of his mother, and of his childhood in general.

“Will you cook me Christmas dinner every year?” she asks softly.

He can hear the hesitation in her voice and it makes his chest constrict a bit. They don’t talk about the future. He’s still not entirely sure that someone like him can even really have a future. And sometimes he thinks she feels the same way about herself. But there’s not a doubt in his mind that if he gets a real chance at a future at all, she’ll be in it. “Every year,” he says, placing a gentle kiss on her head.

She turns in his lap to face him. “We could go have a snowball fight, if you want,” she says with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “Work up an appetite for pie?”

He laughs heartily and she takes that as a yes, jumping up from his lap and running into the bedroom to find her boots. “It just started snowing,” he calls after her.

“I don’t care,” she yells back. Then, stumbling out of the bedroom as she struggles to get her boots on, “We can just take a walk until it builds up.”

He stands up and moves over to her, wraps his arms around her middle and pulls her in close. She hugs him tightly back, burying her face in his neck. He breathes in the honeysuckle scent of her shampoo, feels her fingertips grasp his shoulder. “I love you,” he says into her hair.

Without missing a beat, without even acknowledging that this was something new, something neither of them had ever said before, she grips him a little tighter and utters in return, “I love you too.”

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Why? ~ F.W. (part 6)

A/n: LMAO HEY! I'm sort of binge writing this. I'm trying to fit all I want to in this year but so much is happening, that's why it's so long. MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES OOF!

Word Count: 6800+ (it won't ever get this big again I'm seriously SO SORRY)

MASTERLIST

With some serious relief, the first study group of the year took place. I dragged my feet, knowing that Fred would be there and pretty sure Cedric would be too. If Luna didn't show up though it really would break my heart. I liked her, a lot. Fred bumped into me in the entryway into the library. I smiled at him and he returned it, both of us going to the usual table by the window to wait for the others that may or may not show.

"Heard you're the only Slytherin Snape hates," Fred began. Before I could be downtrodden by it, he laughed. "It's amazing! You really have to be sticking it to the slimy git calling myself a teacher." I smiled, laughing myself. "Really, I can't believe you! Are you sure you're not a Hufflepuff? Or a Gryffindor?"

"There ARE good Slytherins."

"Good looking ones maybe."

"Oh and I'm supposed to feel flattered by that?" Despite my instant bite back, I did feel warmth under my skin and I couldn't stop smiling. "You think you're such a hot shot don't you, Weasley?"

"Are you saying I'm hot too?" He wiggled his eyebrows. I only realized how close we were then.

"There's that Gryffindor arrogance I'm always hearing about," I hummed, rolling my eyes. Fred winked.

"Okay, five feet apart you two." We looked over to see Cedric. I light up like a Christmas tree. "I'm late for the first time ever and leave you alone for five minutes and you're already about ready to start snogging." I went to argue but Cedric wasn't done. "I was expecting this from Fred, but you, Liv? Come now!"

I was giggling as he sat down. I looked at the fourth chair, still empty. My smile faltered.

"What have I missed? Why does Cedric look ready to tell Fred off?"

My eyes snapped as Luna glided over, a spacey look on her face. I don't think I've grinned so wide in my life. "Luna!"

She smiled at me. "Why do you seem so surprised to see me?" She sat across from me in the empty chair, Fred to my right and Cedric to my left.

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Well..." I looked at her through my lashes.

She gauges my expression for a second, the atmosphere becoming a little more serious. "You know a lot of people spread nasty rumors about me. And my dad. Especially my dad. They don't think I hear, but I always do. About how we're crazy. About how I shouldn't be here." I wondered how many of those people were Slytherin. "Most don't say it out loud, but even the odd glances and the way people tend to avoid me in classes and in the halls doesn't go unnoticed by me." I frowned. She smiled. "I don't care what people say. And I don't care even if what people say is true. I like to judge people on what they do, not who they are. I think people are so focused on what my dad does and how he's raised me to be that they ignore everything else. It's very unfortunate."

My expression became soft. I slowly looked at Cedric and he nodded. I glanced down at my books, trying not to grin. "I have an essay to write by Monday," I announced, my voice a little shaky. "What are you guys going to be doing today?"

And that was the end of it.

The month passed nearly as it had begun. I learned to ignore people who said bad things about me and my friends. Malfoy and other Slytherins and other kids from other houses too, like Ravenclaw and even Hufflepuff's who were suspicious of whether I was a bad person. Most Gryffindors had been in class with me or interacted with those who had been, or were friends with twins. Between my friends and my classmates, the Gryffindor house all approved me, waving and nodding and all around greeting and acknowledging me in a positive way. With Cedric's help, the Hufflepuff's seemed to be easing off on me too. I didn't know what to do about them except let them make up their minds. It seemed they trusted Luna's word as much as they trusted my own.

Defense Against the Dark Arts became the best class- Potions became the worse. I had a month's detention before Hermione taught Neville some breathing techniques to calm him down. I suggested he pretended Snape was a Boggart and that seemed to help the most. Every time he mumbled, "Riddikulus," to himself, I tried not to smile too wide.

Care of Magical Creatures was drop-dead boring and I was left with Beth and Sam to crack jokes and try to keep the mood light. Sam and I made the best jokes, Beth's laughter fueling the good vibes and fun. They made it at least a little bearable. Every weekend as well I had Luna, Cedric, and Fred. Sometimes George would join us, sometimes Sam, sometimes Ginny. Sometimes people would come up to Cedric to ask him for a favor or advice or for help, whether his friends or people from other houses or younger houses looking for guidance. He always promised later though, reserving this time for us alone. Cedric and Fred seemed to be the best as lightening up a mood, bolstering my confidence. Luna and I kept getting into debates that left Fred and Cedric staring at us like we were talking in another language. We forgot homework more often then we should, sometimes to listen to Fred's prank stories or the different creatures Luna had learned about from her dad and the Quibbler. Fred and Cedric didn't seem to totally believe her, but I loved the idea of everything she said and listened and asked questions none stop. Every time I was down Fred was there to cheer me up. Every time I was angry Luna was there to calm me down. Every time I got stressed Cedric was there to remind me to take a break and eat something, drink some water. But I started to notice them form friendships too.

Luna had begun to offer ideas to Fred when he was stuck on details of implementing a prank. Cedric kept lecturing Luna on how it wasn't okay for people to be teasing her and hiding her things the way they did. Every time she got into detail, Cedric bristled, ready to fight. I was the first to speak, offering to clobber some heads. Cedric would then agree to help, Fred jumping in with some vague ideas. Luna would shoot down all of his ideas smoothly, pointing out the flaws in each and reassuring that it was fine and that she was used to it and she didn't mind. It was when they found out that I was getting it bad too that Fred and Luna teamed up with a plan that had me genuinely worried for Pansy Parkinson, who had become the Draco Malfoy equivalent to my Harry Potter. We were at each other's throats as often as the boys, except I was so much more vicious than Harry was, and there wasn't a Gryffindor or Ravenclaw or even a Hufflepuff to calm me down or hold me back- just Sam and Beth, who were nearly as ready to tear into her as I was.

October came as a morale booster. Everyone forgot about Sirius Black and stopped teasing me about him altogether. Quidditch has started. Fred was so excited that he had us all promising to cheer for Gryffindor... as long as they weren't against our own house. Cedric told us about becoming Seeker for Hufflepuff and the two began to joke about beating each other and whose team was better. It was quite amusing to me and Luna, who didn't play the sport.

Harry was stoked about it too. Between him, Cedric, and Fred (even George was up in spirits, and Malfoy seemed to be laying off too, too focused on something constructive to pick too many fights, which got Pansy to calm down as well), I was flying high.

And then came Hogsmead.

I hadn't the heart to tell Fred I couldn't go. He was too excited. Cedric already knew. When I hadn't gone to the orphanage once during the Summer, he'd asked me if I was going to get my Hogsmead form signed. I explained that the Headmistress would never agree to let me do anything that would remotely lead to happiness if she could help it. He suggested maybe Amos could sign it but then agreed that he wasn't a parent or legal guardian so I reserved myself and he let it go for my sake, offering to hang out when everyone else was gone. I demised that too, later on when we actually got to Hogwarts, realizing I'd like to have the time alone.

I'd escorted Sam and Beth out. "You guys have fun enough for me too, yeah? Promise?" They promised and then Beth hugged me before the two left, waving at me sadly. Someone stepped up next to me. I looked over. "Harry?"

He smiled weakly. "Dursley's. Can't go."

I tried not to smile too wide. "Me neither."

He was trying as hard as I was not to grin. "Cool. Wanna hang out then?"

"Yeah, I'd love that."

So we wandered. First, he suggested one of the common rooms but in his, I would be unwelcomed and in mine, he'd be vehemently hated. Even if I was good, there was no way a Slytherin would be allowed to know where the Gryffindor common room was and how to get into it. So, he suggested the owlery instead. "I can introduce you to Hedwig!" I laughed and agreed and we were headed over when a voice intercepted us.

"Harry?" Hardy pulled back to see Lupin. "Oh and Ylva as well!"

"You can call me Liv, Professor."

Lupin nodded. "Where are Ron and Hermione? And Sam and Bertha, of course."

"She goes by Beth actually."

Lupin's smile grew. "I'm flattered to be entrusted with all these nicknames, but I'll accept only her permission to use it." I nodded. He was such high quality of a person, I couldn't understand how the state of his robes could be the focus for people.

"Um, they're at Hogsmead," Harry answered and I realized I'd missed the question by interrupting. I smiled sheepishly but Lupin didn't seem to have noticed.

After thinking for a second, he offered, "You guys can come in. If you want."

I looked to see Harry had an odd expression on his face. I recognized it after a second. He had a question. I decided to give him privacy as he'd given me privacy when I'd last talked to Lupin. "Actually Professor, I have homework. Harry was good enough to offer to spend time with me but it's very important stuff. Keep him busy so I don't feel guilty about ditching him will you?"

"Hey!" Harry called as Lupin laughed, all of us smiling.

"I will try to be as good a companion as you would be. Liv." He used the name in a way that made me buzz with happiness.

"Catch up later yeah?" I offered Harry. He smiled and nodded.

I made my way instead to the library after stopping at my room to grab my school things. I had my work all splayed out, pulling one close to begin working on it. Just then none other than the Weasley twins plopped down to either side of me. "Hello," they greeted at the same time.

A smile already on my lips, I shook my head. "It's rather every when you do that you know."

"That's why we do it," George joked. "Just to bother you."

I laughed. "Look, I love that you're available to hang out with those unfortunate enough to be unable to go to Hogsmead but you guys I really have to do my work.

"We'll help you," Fred offered. I shot him a dubious look. "We will!"

Looking at my papers, I thought for a second. Then I sighed. "Fine. But you HAVE to focus on work, I need to get this done."

"Deal," they agreed, once again simultaneous. I shook my head again but we began. I'd be lying if I was saying that getting help from two people two years older wasn't a significant relief.

-

"It was... cut? Like, the painting?"

Ginny nodded solemnly. "It was dreadful."

"Do they know who did it?"

My question seemed to knock her instantly silent. She looked away, down at her hands on the table. "Oh what you haven't heard?" Cake a high, nasty voice. I set my expression to be dark and hateful as Pansy plopped down next to Ginny who scooted away even when Pansy left significant space between them to begin with.

"What are you on about?" I demanded.

She smirked. "Sirius Black was in the castle. He slashed up the painting with a knife. He was furious when the Fat Lady wouldn't let him in. Probably going to kill that FRIEND of yours." She sneered the word like it tasted bitter in her mouth.

I tried to stay calm. Harry had been updating me on everything to try and prevent this exact moment but I hadn't learned this yet. "That's terrible," I managed. Ginny shot me a wide-eyed look at my nonchalance, surprised I seemed to care so little about it when nearly everyone knew by now that not only was Sirius Black my father but also my boggart. "I'm going to check on that friend of mine right now actually. Ginny, do you want to come?" She nodded. Pansy looked murderous that she didn't get the reaction she was so aiming for. I was getting better at controlling myself and it drove the people poking fun at me crazy. Snape included. That had been a relief.

When I saw Harry I called to him. He turned, relieved to see me. "Liv I have to tell you-"

"I already know," I sighed, shaking my head. He shit me a worried look at my exhausted expression and I explained, "Pansy Parkinson."

He flinched. "Great." I silently agreed, sarcastically.

Ginny looked guilty. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before she did. I... I..."

"I understand," I reassured her, placing my hand on her shoulder and smiling softly. "No worries, Gin." She relaxed. "Don't you have class in a bit? Dear heaven, get going! I keep forgetting your schedule."

She huffed. "You and Harry have class too."

"Yes," Harry agreed. "Care of Magical Creatures, which we gave together. So we can stay and talk- you can't." She sighed as I nodded, agreeing with him. She then left, leaving us alone. Harry caught my wrist as I began to head toward Hagrid's hut. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I motioned my head forward and he began to walk by my side. We were quiet until we were nearly all the way there. Thinking of him, here, so close... "Are you?" I asked. "Knowing he was so close? Got passed Dementors and Dumbledore both, undetected?"

Harry frowned. "I heard you have a study group with Cedric Diggory and Fred Weasley."

"And Luna Lovegood," I added. He shot me a look that let me know he hadn't heard the name. "She's delightful."

"I think I'll join it," he concluded. I waited for him to explain why. He finally said, "I think you and I should stay close this year. I need someone who really gets what it's like to... to feel as strongly about him as we do."

"Of course. You're welcome anytime." He smiled at me and that was the end of it. I was glad he'd be around more. He was becoming almost like Cedric to me, but more of a younger brother than an older one. Which was odd, since he was about a month - give or take a week - older than me. Funny how that works out.

-

Nothing was worse than when I came to Defense Against the Dark Arts and Snape of all people was teaching it. I white knuckle clung to my desk the whole time, forcing my eyes to stay on my book as I gave him no reason to interact with me. I was too at ease in this room, my self-control was tainted. When it was over, I wasn't even upset about the extra homework we'd been given, I was just glad I had something to do when I got out so I could keep busy and forget about his snide remarks and biting insults and snapping attacks on Hermione.

I hated him. I really hated him.

-

To everyone's surprise, the first match was Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. I'd been dreading it as I watched Harry, Cedric, and the twins take to the sky at once- four people I all cared about very deeply. If I thought about it, it made sense to cheer for Gryffindor- I had three close friends versus one. But I refused to pick a favorite just because there were more on one team when I knew it would crush Cedric if I cheered for them. So I simply cheered for every goal. Slytherin hadn't shown up today, allowing Gryffindor and Hufflepuff to have the room. Luna, Sam, and I were the odd ones out in the stands with Gryffindor, the three of us cheering for both teams. The Gryffindors didn't seem to mind despite where we sat and let us do our own thing.

I was having a good time before Harry fell from the sky, fallen off his broom. I screamed on the top of my lungs, racing forward so that Dean Thomas and Luna had to catch me so I wouldn't fall over.

I was so worried that everything seemed to be moving quickly, me running to catch up with the Quidditch team as we all raced to the field to see if Harry was okay- Ron and Hermione were right behind me. Soon he was being transported to the Hospital Wing where the team and Ron and Hermione crowded around him and I stood a bit away, pacing anxiously.

"He looks a bit peaky."

"A bit peaky? Well, he did just fall over a hundred feet!"

"Harry!" That was Fred. I spun to face the bed, relief flooding through my body.

"What happened?" His voice was weak, a little groggy- go be expected. But it WAS his voice. He was okay enough to speak. I moved close to the group didn't have to push through as they moved over with ease to let me in. "Liv. Hi." I smiled at him. He seemed relieved I was here. We'd become each other's comfort people it seemed. It was nice that he felt the same relief I did when I saw his face.

"You feel off your broom," Fred said.

"We thought you died," Alicia squeaked. Hermione made a wet sound close to a whimper. She had been crying. I placed my hand on her back. She leaned into my touch a bit, relieved by the show of friendship.

Harry shook his head. "But the match." Absolute silence. We all looked away. "We didn't... lose?" Harry demanded, obviously upset.

Hermione stood. "No one blames you, Harry. The dementors aren't supposed to come inside the grounds. Dumbledore was furious. As soon as he saved you he sent them straight off."

Another pause. "Erm, yeah, Diggory caught the snitch," George added. "Just after you fell. He didn't realize what had happened. When he looked back and saw you on the ground, he tried to call it off. Wanted a rematch. But they won fair and square... even Wood agrees."

Harry looked at all the faces around him. "Speaking of, where is Wood?"

"Still in the showers," Fred answered. "I think he's trying t drown himself." I buried my elbow in his side. "Ow!"

Harry ignores her attempt, placing his face in his hands. I sighed, sitting next to him. "Oh Harry, it's not your fault. You can't win every match."

"You've never missed the Snitch before," Katie added.

"There had to be at least once you didn't get it. Otherwise, you'd make the rest of us feel like slackers. Think about all the Seekers in the past and those to come. Poor kids can't live up to someone who NEVER misses."

"Plus it's not over yet," Fred threw in, and I was glad for the addition. He and George began to go back and forth about ways they could still win, but it didn't seem to be helping at all. Madame Pompfrey finally came over to shoo the team away. "We'll come to see you later," Fred told Harry. "Don't beat yourself up, you're still the best Seeker we've ever had." Harry managed a weak smile.

"I have to go too," I sighed. Harry frowned. "I'll be back with the others later as well. I'll bring you chocolate from Lupin- you know that'll cheer you up."

"Okay see you later," he sighed. Ron and Hermione waved to me and I nodded back before jogging to catch up to Fred.

"Hey," he greeted as if surprised to see me.

"Hey," I said back. He looked at me but I didn't say anything more. I just reached down and took his hand. Too much had happened recently. Sirius Black entering the castle. Severus Snape ruining the one class that held my spirits up. Cedric was mad about the match. Harry was upset they'd lost, and he had yet to find out about his broom. The dementors were getting brave, coming into the grounds to chase down Harry personally. Between all of that and Hardy nearly dying, I need comfort that only seemed to come just the way I needed it from Fred Weasley.

He didn't say anything about it, just let go to take off his playing glove before taking my hand again, interlacing our fingers. That felt better. I walked him to the hallway I knew lead to the Gryffindor common room before stopping. "What's wrong?" He asked me.

"I don't want to know where it is. The common room." He went to argue but I held up a hand. "Not just because Gryffindors would be opposed to it, but because I don't want to be blamed for Sirius Black getting in. I've been surviving off the fact alone that I don't know where the common room is or what the passwords are. People have already tried to accuse me."

He looked as if I'd slapped him across the face. He pulled me into a hug. I melted into him instantly. "I'm sorry you're going through all of this. It's absolute rubbish."

I smiled. "I know. Thanks for making it easier to bare."

He chuckled a bit. "Anything for you." He left a kiss on my forehead and then headed to the common room, leaving me to turn around and head back to my own. I didn't go back tot he dungeons though. I wanted to talk to Lupin.

-

"You went to see Lupin?" Harry asked.

I nodded. "He wasn't there though. He might be back now." After a gruesome while, Harry was finally out of the hospital. He got a look on his face. I pulled his shoulder to stop him, gently. He'd asked Ron and Hermione to give us a moment and I was thinking it was more than asking what I'd been up to while he was gone. "What's on your mind?"

He didn't even pause before jumping in to explain his worries about the Grim. Seeing it that night when he ran away from home, before the Night Bus, and again in the clouds before the Dementors got him. He then told me about Divination and how Professor Trelawny had seen it in his cup. "I think it'll freak Ron out and Hermione doesn't believe in it even an inch. I was hoping maybe..."

"I'd think you weren't crazy?" He nodded. "I understand your concern. And I do believe in omens and Divination, surprisingly." I smiled weakly. "I happen to be a lot more open-minded than people would have thought. So, no I don't think you're crazy." He seemed to melt in relief. "Harry." He looked at me. "I want you to stay by my side, okay? I don't mean to bother but I'm really worried about you. You're like my little brother- I don't want you to end up dead."

He glowered at me. "I'm older than you!"

That made me burst out laughing. It eased the tension immediately. Trying to pull myself together I stepped closer. "Seriously though. Stay close, okay? I feel like every moment you're gone I'll just be worried about you."

"Alright mum," he mumbled. But the look on his face reminded me of the one he'd had at the beginning of the year when Mrs. Weasley gave him an extra hug that she didn't know he knew he needed. He liked me playing big sister, even if he'd never admit it. "Sure, sure, I'll stick close."

I grinned. "Good." I reached out and messed his hair and he screamed at me to stop, sending both of us laughing again.

-

When Lupin returned it was a relief. After some rabble from the class, he promised to talk to Snape about the assignment and getting it done.

When Hermione moaned, her sounds were met with my own as well. "Professor, Liv and I worked so hard on our essays. We wrote them together- we finished them!"

That made Lupin smile.

The lesson was refreshing too. Just like Lupin's classes always were. Just like Defense Against the Dark Arts should always be. When it ended, he moved to me and Hermione. "I'll think about giving you two some extra credit." He chuckled. "If that's not allowed then I'll give you points. I'm glad you've decided to do your work and so well, I might add. That should be rewarded. He seemed to be looking into our eyes, searching for something. He found it in Hermione's. Whatever it was though didn't worry him as much as he'd apparently thought it would have been he smiled and excused us, stopping Harry for a private word beforehand.

As I passed him, Harry gave me a look. He'd tell me about what was being said later. We liked nothing more than to confide in each other. Talk and bounce ideas off of each other. It was nice. I didn't even feel like I was bothering or forcing him to do it. I felt the room smiling.

-

He told me about the private lessons learning the spell Lupin and I had used on the train. "He suggested you come along since you're already started. He thinks you and he could team up to teach me. He thinks what you know might help what he doesn't know."

"I don't know, Harry..."

"Just think about it? He won't even be doing it until after the Holidays. People are heading back to Hogsmeade- we might start then, just you and me. It would give us something to do."

I smiled. "I'll think about it."

That pleased him.

-

Comforting Cedric on the terrible loss again Ravenclaw was hard when Harry was so happy about it. It means that Gryffindor wasn't out of the running, but Cedric was still devastated. I tried my best to be both sad and happy about it at the same time.

I was relieved when the Holidays cheer came, talk of the Hogsmead grip before the end of term and Christmas cheering everyone up from everything else going on. With Hermione and Ron staying, I decided to go on Holiday with Cedric, making the small family there a little bigger.

Before Christmas though was Hogsmead, which meant Harry and I were stuck alone again. We didn't mind, though neither of us was in the mood, after all, to be thinking about Dementors and the charms to ward them off. After seeing off our friends, I talked him into making snowmen with me. After we finished, much more cheered up, we began to head back inside to warm up when we were stopped by sharp noises. "Psst! Harry! Liv!" We followed the voice to see none other than Fred and George Weasley, peering at us from behind a statue.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Aren't you going to Hogsmead?" Harry followed up.

"We've come to give you something before we go." They ushered us closer and we followed, all moving into an empty classroom next to the statue. George closed the door softly and then turned, nearly glowing he was smiling so wide. He handed Harry a... piece of paper? Harry and I exchanged confused looks. "What's this rubbish?" Harry asked.

George scoffed. "'What's this rubbish' he says. That is the key to our success! We've memorized it by heart so we don't need it anymore- figured you could use it though."

More confused looks. "What am I going to do with a bit of old parchment?"

Fred looked genuinely offended, looking to me as if I was going to tell Harry off, but (to his furthered offense) I was just as bewildered. He scoffed. "Go ahead, George."

George took out his wand. pressing it to the folds of the paper. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Slowly but surely, I filled the paper, appearing from where George had tapped it and then expanding. My eyes widened and I gasped.

"Mersus Wormtail, Mooney, Padfoot, and Prongs are pleased to present the Marauder's Map?"

"We owe them so much," Fred acknowledged with an almost wistful expression. I guessed the twins wished they knew just who to thank for all the mischief help.

Harry opened the map. "Hang on- this is Hogwarts," he realized. I moved closer, looking down as well. He paused. "And is that... no-"

"Dumbledore," Fred interrupted.

"In his study," George jumped in.

"Pacing," Fred added.

"He does that a lot," George finished.

I was speechless. I gingerly took the map from Harry and he let me as he continued to ask questions. "This map shows-"

But again the twins didn't let him finish. "Everyone." Fred again.

"Everyone?" Harry doubted.

"Everyone," George confirmed.

"So this map shows everyone?" Harry realized.

"Where they are," Fred continued.

"What they're doing."

"Every Minute."

"Of every day."

"Brilliant!" Harry piped in between the twins' back and forth.

"Wicked," I agreed under my breath, still looking at the names as they walked about. I saw our names and grinned.

"Now, there are seven secret passageways," George went right on. They had a purpose to this, after all, passed just giving Harry the map. "We suggest-" Fred began.

"This one." They said at the same time, pointing to the one they meant.

"The one-eyed witch one. It leads right into Hogsmead. You better hurry too, Filtch is in his way over." Free pointed out Filch coming this way as he spoke.

"Oh, and before you go. When you're done with it, just give it a tap and say-"

"Mischief Managed." They spoke this at the same time as well. After they did so, the ink faded until it was gone and the map turned into a blank page again. I whispered words of awe under my breath. This magic was brilliant.

"Otherwise anyone could read it," Fred added after the ink was all gone. We began to head off before Fred called my name. "I was wondering if you wanted to come around with me and George, once you got into Hogsmead."

I shot Harry a look but by the way he was looking at Fred behind me betrayed that there was something I was missing. "I'll be fine. You can let me live ONE day, can't you?"

I smiled. "Sure. But you have to tell me everything that happens. I have a terrible fear of missing out."

He nodded. "Cool. Let's go."

-

After loads of sneaking around and staying deadly quiet (Harry went and got his invisibility cloak, which I was stunned to actually be able to see in person), we were finally inside the one place we'd so desperately wanted to be. He told me to meet him and at what time so we could sneak back without getting caught. I separated from him, seeming out Fred and George. It didn't take long, as I lingered curiously in front of Zonko's joke shop. That's where they found me.

They showed me all the best parts of Hogsmead. The haunted house and the candy and the tricks and the Three Broomsticks. I was swirling with so much enthusiasm and excitement I kept forgetting names, but in the end, I was pleased all the same.

When we got into the Three Broomsticks, George was suddenly antsy. "I actually have, erm, a friend of mine to find. Lee, you remember him? Well, we've got this stop to make to... to stock up on stuff for- for pranks." He was struggling it seemed but he got it out in the end.

"Oh okay," I sighed, a little sad I hadn't gotten to stop in the warmth of the place and drink the Butterbeer I'd heard so much about. "Let's go then."

"No!" Fred intervened, a little too loud. I jumped. He tried to ease up. I wondered what was bothering him. "You haven't tried Butterbeer have you?" I shook my head slowly. "And you didn't prepare properly- you're probably freezing. You and I can stay here and George will go along. They don't need us. You have to have the full Hogsmead experience. So much to do and so little time."

George seemed to be okay with it so I nodded. "Okay."

Now that we were alone, Fred seemed to be very... close. He kept touching me, offering me his jumper when I kept shivering, to put over my thin sweater I'd meant for the castle. It was cozy and warm and a little big on me- I loved it. The Butterbeer helped too, warming up my insides. I noticed Fred put his arm around the back of my chair. A thought occurred to me.

"Fred?" He hummed, looking over. "Is this a date?" We'd ben close and touchy before but this attentiveness and proximity and the way he was acting felt so different.

He looked at me carefully. "Do you want it to be?"

I thought about the little moments between us since we'd met. Especially this year. The flirting and how it was so different than when he talked to other girls. Different from how he even flirted with other girls. It seemed so much more sincere with me. So much more insistent, as if by telling me I was pretty wasn't actually the message he was conveying. I thought of his awareness of me. His concern. The time I'd thought he was about to kiss me while he was trying to comfort me. I thought about how I usually hated to be touched. How with all my other friends it was usually only brief hugs or taps to get my attention or reassuring hands on my shoulder or someone messing up my hair. Never long lasting. Never anything that lingered or brought us too close together. Except for Fred. Fred could touch me as much as he wanted. He could be close to me, despite my preference for having my own bubble go space with any other person. Even Cedric. Even Luna and Harry. Even Sam and Ginny and Neville and Beth. Even George.

Did I have feelings for Fred past friendship?

I frowned, looking up at him. He was waiting for me patiently, giving me time to think. "You know I've never... fancied someone before," I said slowly. "It would be hard to be with me, like that. In any way similar to THAT. I'm not good at emotions and a lot is going on." Fred's arm began to drop off my chair. I caught his hand. His eyes met mine again. "I'm not saying I don't- that I don't feel- I mean, you are different. For me. From everyone else. I'm just saying, you could probably find someone who would be a lot easier to be with."

He leaned close. "I don't want someone easier. It was you I helped sneak into Hogsmead because I wanted to bring you here and get you alone." A smile pulled at my lips as I saw the second plan behind what Fred had done. I wonder if maybe that's what the exchanges between him and George and the expression I hadn't quite grasped on Harry's face. Was I really so oblivious that everyone else knew? That it was so apparent to everyone but me.

I looked at the table. "I don't know how I feel about any of this. There's already so much going on. I couldn't handle figuring out feeling and everything on top of it.

Fred paused before nodding. "I can take things slow."

He was playing with my fingers. I chuckled a bit. I looked at our hands and so did he. "How did you know?"

He thought for a second. "I think it was right before I met you actually. I mean, that's when it started, and I thought it was nothing. It was weird and startling. You had just been Sorted and we were being... rude." He flinched. "I saw you freeze. The hurt on your face. It was weird, to think I cared about what a Slytherin felt. And then I met you and we got along so well and you were so strong-willed and outspoken and confident. I realized that the feeling - the different thing that I felt for you - was... well at the beginning of this year when you came out of Harry's room I felt... jealous." I frowned. "Do you have feelings for him? I mean... If that's one of the things that make this complicated."

I ducked my head to catch his eyes. My smile was warm. "There's no one else. I just have really good friends. It's hard for me to get attached to people, Fred Weasley. I don't know how you did it." He smiled a little.

After a pause, he asked, "So we're taking this slow." I nodded. "How slow?" He seemed to be struggling and I realized that we were close again. The butterbeer and the warm atmosphere and us talking about this, in the position we were in... I wasn't THAT daft.

"No kissing," I whispered, my heart ramming painfully against my chest at the thought. He nodded, patient and understanding. I was surprised by the reaction until I noticed him swallow hard and realized he was struggling very much. It made it almost even better than he was.

I leaned forward slowly, leaving a soft kiss on his cheek. He looked up at me as I leaned away. "I thought you said no kissing?" He teased, a smirk resting on his lips

"On the lips," I clarified, smiling. "I'm not ready for that yet. But you've kissed me on the head before and I think that's fine." He pulled my hands up, kissing my knuckles. I smiled wider. We finished up as the sun began to fall, signaling that I had to get back to Harry. "Thank you again, for agreeing..." It felt unreal as we walked out of the Three Broomsticks. He kept looking at me and in his jumper, it all felt so different. Our hands were intertwined but this felt different too. It all felt more personal. More... more. Just, more.

I couldn't say I hated it.

"Anything for you, it seems." He tugged me, pulling me closer, and I blushed.

He walked me to where I was to meet Harry, kissing me on my forehead before dropping my hand. "Oh," I realized, going to take off his jumper.

He held out a hand. "Keep it." He had a sort of dreamy smile on his face. "You look good in it." I blushed even more and he chuckled. "Maybe I like seeing you in my jumper." He moved closer, his finger slipping along my forehead to push a strand of hair into place. "Is that okay?"

I nodded. "That's okay."

We parted ways then, though I could tell he very much wanted to kiss me. It already felt like so much was happening, I couldn't breathe. I was glad he didn't press it. In fact, the more he gave me space the more I found myself adoring him. There was so much more for him than anyone else and I came to Harry with rosy cheeks and a warm and smile and a sort of out of focus gaze.

When I saw his expression, my happiness drained from me. "Harry? What happened?" He looked at me like he was halfway between punching something and crying. A sense of dread filled me. Oh how quickly happiness could be destroyed. Oh, how fleeting good feelings were.

"I'll tell you on the way."

-

Tag List: @reddie-steddie-go

[iamvegorott]

Protective Ch. 7

Wanna help me and give me some support? |Donate To My PayPal|

A New Mission

“When did you get a tv!?” Peter excitedly asked as he rushed over to the large device.

“I’ve read that teenagers enjoy spending some time watching it, so I figured I’d make an investment so you’ll leave me alone,” Loki stated in a flat tone from her chair, eyes leaving the words from her book to see that Peter was sitting down in front of the tv with the remote in his hand. “You shouldn’t sit so close to it,” Loki warned.

“I don’t think I can hurt my eyes.” Peter chuckled. “I have that healing factor.”

“If you say so.” Loki hummed, finding that she was watching Peter for a bit. Seeing that smile on Peter’s face actually made Loki feel calm herself. Normally, she liked to be alone but having the kid here the past few days have been...interesting.

“Are you wearing the dress I got you?” Peter asked.

“Yes, it’s comfortable,” Loki stated.

“You like it?”

“It’s comfortable.”

“You like it.” Peter happily rocked a little and went back to the tv. Loki didn’t bother saying anything else, she did like the dress. It was comfortable, the style matched the rest of her wardrobe and it fit perfectly, complimenting the curves to her hips and chest. Peter had a surprisingly good taste for a teenage boy.

Loki was soon enjoying the moment as he read her book and Peter watched television, having it loud enough for him to hear but quiet enough for Loki to easily tune out. Peter was a good kid, a good strong kid. Who would ever want to hurt him and how?

A soft buzzing on her thigh told Loki that her phone was going off. She pulled it out and saw that Thor was calling, she was going to answer it, but Thor walked in. At least he managed to call before barging into her home.

“Mr. Thor?” Peter muted the tv and got up. “What’s up?”

“Loki called me,” Thor said, looking at Loki real quick before continuing talking. “She said she needed some help.”

“Help with what?” Peter asked.

“Adult things,” Thor said, crossing his arms. “Very adult things.”

“Thor, I swear.” Loki sighed, rubbing her forehead while Peter’s eyes went wide.

“That did sound a bit strange, didn’t it?” Thor chewed on his lip. “Alcohol.” Thor snapped his fingers. “Young ones can’t drink here, right?

“I mean, technically the young ones can drink.” Peter crossed his own arms.

“He’s copying me,” Thor said in a whisper to Loki. “Is this a type of intimidation?”

“He’s teasing you, Thor. Let’s just go.” Loki grabbed Thor’s arm and guided him to the kitchen. “Just keep watching tv, Peter,” Loki called and waved her hand, casting a silencing spell. It wasn’t much, it was enough to prevent Peter from eavesdropping.

“I thought we were letting Peter be? It’s only been a week.” Thor said as soon as Loki nodded that they were fine.

“He started crying at the mall a few days ago,” Loki said.

“Why? Did you do something?” Thor asked.

“I bought him clothes. I stepped away for five minutes to try this dress on-”

“It is a pretty dress.” Thor complimented.

“Thank you, but when I came back, he looked upset. I thought that maybe the store was too small and he needed some air so I finished checking out on my own and when I found him, he was sitting on a bench, crying and having a hard time breathing. An elderly couple found him and his eyes looked like they were glazed over.” Loki looked over at Peter, who was sitting on the floor again and leaning towards the tv, invested in the show he was watching. “I barely know the kid, but I could tell something was off, that it wasn’t him.”

“Why didn’t you call me as soon as that happened?” Thor asked.

“I wanted to give him some time to recover, I did a little research on it and from what I could gather, it was some sort of anxiety attack. I don’t know much about it and I can’t take him somewhere with professionals because I feel like it has something to do with that friend of Tony’s. What therapist is capable of handling superhero type stress?” Loki started to pace as she spoke. “He’d have to reveal his identity, risk getting his loved ones and the therapist hurt if word goes out and I don’t think Peter would even agree to go in the first place. We can’t make him do anything, we’re not his legal guardians or anything.”

“Tony could,” Thor suggested. “Or at least, Peter would listen to him. Ever since I believe her name was May, died, Tony took over guardianship of Peter Parker.”

“Aunt May?” Loki asked. “Was she his guardian?”

“Yeah. His parents died when he was really young, lost his Uncle right before becoming Spider-Man and it’s just been him and May for a while but May passed away in her sleep a few months ago and Tony took him in.” Thor explained.

“How do you know this?”

“I’m not scared of communication,” Thor stated, Loki turned away from him and went to the counter.

“Then why don’t you know about Tony’s friend?” Loki snapped back.

“I’m not scared of it, doesn’t mean I’m always the best at it.” Thor shrugged.

“If Tony’s his guardian, why didn’t he go to him for help instead of me?” Loki was tempted to start making some tea, she was getting a headache.

“Maybe he was thinking the same thing that you said before. That hearing that his friend his hurting Peter would kill him?” Thor scratched his cheek. “I’m not him, I don’t know what he’s thinking.”

“I wish we did.” Loki sighed.

“When did you start having a heart?” Thor teased.

“For a long time, Thor,” Loki stated. “I have cried for many nights and I will cry for many more.”

“Loki?”

“I have fought my entire life against what I am and who people see me as and I have finally accepted who I am. I can tell that Peter is having a similar fight, there’s something inside of him that he has to push through and whoever the hell this ‘friend’ of Tony’s is, is making it impossible for him to do so.” Loki spoke harshly and through her teeth.

“I see that the boy has already grown on you,” Thor said, patting Loki’s back with a hand.

“He’s a child. That’s the only reason I’m going out of my way to stop this. Nothing more.”

“Whatever you say, sister.” Thor shook his head. “So, how do you suggest we go about this?”

“We’re going to have to be sneaky.”

“Your specialty.”

“You know it.”

——————– ——————– ——————–

Tag List: @mirrored-calamity @wolfbear135 @thesinginggal

Let me know if you want to be tagged! ^_^

[malecsecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @wolfspirals!

Read on AO3

*****

Everything I Didn’t Know I Wanted For Christmas

"I can't believe you stole your own nephew's Christmas present!" Alec hissed at Jace, shoving him hard enough that he lost his balance and bumped into the fridge.

"Woah, chill, man," Jace said, both hands held up in surrender. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"The hell you don't! That present sitting right on the top of the stack is Henry's Christmas present! I wrapped it up myself!" Alec fumed.  

"I could have bought the same wrapping paper, and wrapped it up really terribly on my own," Jace said defensively.  

"You also left the card I wrote for Henry stuck to the wrapper," Alec said flatly.

"Oh fuck!" Jace's eyes widened, trying to manoeuvre around Alec to go back out into the living room. "I have to go get that before Willie starts opening the presents!"

Alec moved to block his way, glowering at his brother.

"Ok, fine! I'm sorry, ok?" Jace said, running a hand through his too-long hair in frustration. "It's just, you know, life has been a bit of a mess around here, with the new baby coming and Willie being more of a brat than usual. I promised Clary I'd handle this whole birthday party and present thing so she wouldn't tire herself out, but I wasn't expecting it to be so much work!"

"Izzy helped you plan this party," Alec pointed out stonily. "If you were too busy to go out to the shops to get Will a present, you could have ordered it online, or just asked one of us to get it for you. Not come over to my place with the spare key I gave you for emergencies and steal the fucking present out of my closet!"

"I was desperate, ok? I only remembered yesterday, and all the nearest shops said they were all sold out. I couldn't let Willie down, and Clary wouldn't have gotten mad, you know, she'd have been disappointed, which is even worse. I knew you'd have bought it for Henry months in advance," Jace said, trying to turn pleading eyes on Alec. "Look, they'll probably still have stock at Roosevelt Field, since that's the biggest mall around here. You could leave Henry here tonight for a sleepover, pop over there in the morning tomorrow, and still be in time to meet us for the Christmas Parade in the afternoon."

Alec sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I hate you."

"I owe you one, ok?" Jace said, tension leaving his shoulders now that he knew Alec was probably going to give in. "Now let me just go out there-"

"I've already removed the card. It's in my pocket," Alec said wryly.

Jace heaved a sigh of relief. "Thanks, man. I knew you've always got my back."

"No, fuck you - I was looking out for Will," Alec muttered.

"What are you two doing hiding in the kitchen?" Izzy suddenly said from the doorway, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Nothing. Guy stuff," Jace said quickly.

Izzy rolled her eyes. "I think we're a bit too old for the 'No Girls Allowed' club. Come on, Will's going to start on his presents!"

Alec sighed and followed his siblings out into the living room, already mentally trying to calculate travel times in Christmas Eve traffic and around roadblocks because of the parade. He'd like to think that Henry was well-adjusted enough that the kid would be ok even if he didn't get that particular toy for Christmas, but every boy around Henry's age was probably getting an action figure of the superhero Silver Shot for Christmas this year, and Alec hated the thought of Henry feeling left out. Besides, Henry's smiles on Christmas morning was one of the few things Alec really looked forward to.

Technically, Henry was his godson. Henry's biological parents, John and Lydia Monteverde, had been Alec's best friends in college. When Henry was barely over a year old, his parents had been killed by a drunk driver in a tragic accident, and Alec found out that they had named him as Henry's legal guardian, since they had no other living relatives they were close to. So at the age of 23, Alec had become a single parent. Even with all the Lightwoods chipping in and a more flexible work schedule courtesy of working in the family business, the last four years hadn't been easy. Alec had been the one changing diapers, holding Henry's hand when he'd been taking those first few baby steps, nursing him through cuts and bumps and fevers and colds, reading him bedtime stories, and hugging him close after nightmares and during thunderstorms. And when Henry was learning to talk, Izzy had taught him to call Alec 'Daddy' - and that was that.

Alec tried not to grind his teeth when Jace's son opened the present he'd bought months ago for Henry, and clenched his jaw when Will threw a tantrum and wouldn't allow Henry to even take a closer look at the action figure.

"Hey. You alright?" he asked his son, drawing him to a quiet corner after all the presents had been opened. "Uncle Jace said you could sleep over if you wanted, but we could go home instead."

Henry shrugged. "It's ok. I know Will wasn't being mean on purpose. Aunt Izzy said it's because he's worried about the new baby coming, that Uncle Jace and Aunt Clary will love him less, which is dumb because it doesn't work that way."

"You've got it all figured out, huh?" Alec said, trying to hide his grin.

Henry nodded solemnly. "Yeah, plus the special extra-long Silver Shot show is on tomorrow morning, and I wanna watch it with Will. It's going to be so cool! I think Silver Shot is going to find out who The Shaman is!"

"The Shaman is the bad guy, right?" Alec asked, having only the vaguest idea what the cartoon was about.

"Only sometimes. But he's also actually Silver Shot's boyfriend. You know, when they're not in their costumes."

Alec blinked. "His what?"

"His boyfriend," Henry repeated patiently. "Silver Shot kisses other boys - like you, Daddy. Can I go tell Will that I'm staying over tonight?"  

"Yeah, ok," Alec replied, still slightly flummoxed. A gay superhero on mainstream media? Who would've thought?  

Then he registered the rest of what Henry had said, and realised that Henry must have been up awake past his bedtime with Will, watching from Jace's house across the street on the rare occasions that Alec had actually been out on dates and the even rarer occasions when he had invited his date home for... "coffee".  

"...Crap."

Magnus reflected that not that long ago, he'd probably have been nursing a hangover on the morning of Christmas Eve, preparing to go out and drink some more that night. That Magnus would never have imagined getting up at eight in the morning to cook waffles and scrambled eggs while his son sat with eyes glued to the screen watching some cartoon where a guy in a silver half-mask was fighting someone who was throwing fireballs from his hands. But some changes in life were for the better, and Magnus didn't regret a thing - not the sleepless nights he'd spent rocking and singing to a colicky baby, not the expensive silk shirts Rafael had ruined with spit-up, not the ugly rubber bumpers he'd had to fix to the corners of all his lovely teak furniture when his son had started toddling around. In fact, he didn't even regret the two years he'd spent married to Camille.

He'd caught her having an affair with her colleague and filed for divorce before Rafael turned two, citing irreconcilable differences and demanding full custody of Rafael, which Camille had been only too happy to give up. She still visited Rafael at least twice a year though - once on his birthday, and once on Christmas Eve.

Just as Magnus was placing the plates and cups on a tray, as if thinking about her had somehow summoned her, someone jabbed the doorbell several times in rapid succession. Magnus rolled his eyes and put the tray on the coffee table.

"Eat, Rafe. I know you hate your eggs cold," he told his son, then went to get the door.

Camille was standing outside the door of his penthouse apartment, dressed to the nines, with a parcel clutched to her chest and an expression of impatient disdain on her face. She pushed him out of the way, heels clicking sharply on the hardwood floor as she walked towards the living room.  

"You're early," Magnus observed. Unlike him, Camille hadn't changed her habits much over the years - he didn't think she usually got up before noon.

"Louis is taking me on a luxury cruise down the East River," she replied.

"Because sailing down a river of stinky, polluted water is the very height of romance, I'm sure," Magnus said snidely.

Camille shot him a nasty look over her shoulder, gaze flicking to his appropriately festive apron, which had a picture of a candy cane and the words 'It's not going to lick itself' printed on it. "Yes, you always were a great romantic. Too bad the only hot dates you've been getting these days have been with your right hand."

"Nonsense. I occasionally date my left hand instead. Sometimes both, at the same time," Magnus said cheerfully.

Camille snorted inelegantly, then crouched down to hug Rafael and plant a kiss on his cheek. "Merry Christmas, sweetie!"

"Hi Mama. Merry Christmas," Rafael replied a little distractedly, wiping lipstick off his cheek with the sleeve of his pajamas.

Camille pushed the parcel into his arms. "Open it!"

"Um, ok," Rafael said, tearing his eyes away from the screen with effort to peel open the wrapping. She'd given him a toy puppy with body parts labelled in large black lettering - ear, hand, tummy, foot. There was a heart-shaped button in its chest, and when pressed, it lit up and played the ABC song.

"Yes, perfect - if Rafe was five months old, instead of five years old," Magnus said, and Camille glared at him.

"Um, it's ok. I love it. Thanks, Mama," Rafe said quickly, giving her a hug and a small smile before turning back to the screen.

Camille stood up slowly, then flashed a smile at Magnus that was all teeth. "May I use your bathroom?"

Magnus swept his arm in a grand gesture. "Be my guest," he said, frowning as she stalked down the hallway towards the bedrooms.

He was just about to follow her to make sure that she was going into the common bathroom, when Rafael said very softly, "Papa, my eggs have gone cold. Could you...?"

"Of course," Magnus said, whisking the plate off to the kitchen to give the eggs another quick stir in the pan.

He was just setting the plate down in front of Rafael when he thought he heard the sound of a window being opened. Walking quickly towards his bedroom, he was just in time to see Camille flinging the present he'd bought for Rafael out of the window - seven storeys down, straight into the busy morning traffic.

"What the fuck did you do that for?" he snarled in a low voice.

"Oops. Guess Papa doesn't even have a present for his darling little boy - how disappointing," she replied sweetly, before sauntering out of the room.

Magnus had to take a few deep breaths before he'd calmed down enough to kick Camille out of his house as civilly as he could manage in front of their son. He'd bought that Silver Shot action figure a month ago, and even then he'd had to try a few places before he'd managed to get his hands on one. Rafe was a sweet kid and wouldn't mind receiving something else, but for this to happen because of fucking Camille...

Checking to make sure that Rafael's attention was still on the television and he wouldn't overhear the conversation, Magnus grabbed his phone and hit Ragnor's number on the speed-dial.

"Ragnor, I need you to do me a favour - could you and Raphael watch Rafe for a while? I've got some emergency Christmas shopping to do."

The Christmas Parade was at three in the afternoon, so Alec was at the mall by 10am, figuring that it would give him ample time to buy the toy, get it wrapped, and maybe run some errands if he had the time. He'd expected parking to be a nightmare and insane crowds at the malls - but he hadn't expected to walk into the toy store and find the shelves for the Silver Shot toys completely empty. There wasn't a scrap of merchandise left, not even an overpriced water bottle, much less an action figure of Silver Shot.

"Erm, excuse me..." he said, trying to get the attention of a harried store worker. "What happened to all the Silver Shot stuff?"

The guy frowned at him. "Whaddya think? All sold out of course!"

"Everything? Isn't there even like stationery, or a lunchbox?"

"Yes, everything," the guy snapped. "Sold out a week ago."

"Could you please check the back room? Maybe something fell behind a shelf?" Alec asked a little desperately. "I just need to get something for my son - anything."

"Look, buddy-" the irrate store worker began to say.

"Hi, sorry - I couldn't help overhearing the conversation, and I'm looking for something for my son as well," someone interrupted them smoothly.

Alec half-turned and froze - the speaker was a very handsome man wearing a well-fitted grey topcoat that showed off broad shoulders and biceps to die for. Alec tried not to stare.

"I know you're busy, but it would really make the day of two kids - and two very desperate fathers," he continued, looking over at Alec with his beautiful brown eyes to include him in the conversation - and fuck, it was just Alec's luck that this guy was probably happily married.

"I'm sure with how well-organised this place is, a quick check of the system will show if there's supposed to be anything in stock, but that was misplaced. That's all we're asking for," he said, but the store worker just frowned. "We'll be sure to call up the store and tell them how you went above and beyond in your service - Raj," the guy added, after a quick glance at his name tag.

The store worker heaved a loud sigh and stomped over to the nearest register and typed in the search terms. Alec sneaked a peek at the other father's left hand resting on the countertop - he was wearing a couple of rings, but his ring finger was bare, though that didn't necessarily mean that he was single.

Their not-so-friendly service staff, Raj, shook his head. "Nope, not even a pencil."

"How about the other one? The Shaman?" Alec asked.  

Raj let out a short bark of laughter. "Where have you been? The Shaman is just as popular, plus with that Christmas special this morning - I promise you, everything is gone," he said, but humoured them and typed in a new search, then hit 'enter' and frowned. "Wait - there's one Shaman action figure left. But it's reserved."

"So they'll be coming here to get it today?" Alec asked. He supposed he could try his luck and hang around to wait for the person who'd reserved the toy and see if he could convince them to sell it to him instead.

"I suppose so. Collection of reserved stuff is at the main counter at level one."

"And there's just one?" the other father asked, and Alec saw the mischievous gleam in his eye a split second before the guy turned and dashed towards the escalators.

"Hey! Remember that call you promised, my Christmas bonus is depending on it!" Raj called out after them, but Alec was already hot on the heels of the other guy, dodging shoppers left and right and mumbling apologies.

For once, Alec was thankful for all the times Jace had dragged him to the gym, but the other guy was pretty fit as well, nimbly slipping between people on the narrow escalator faster than Alec would have expected from a guy that broad. He glanced over his shoulder, searching for Alec when he reached the bottom of the escalator, and flashed Alec a grin when he saw that Alec still stuck at the top, before making a beeline for the next escalator. By the time Alec reached the front counter two floors down, he was only in time to catch the tail end of the conversation - the other guy asking the counter staff, "What was she wearing?"

"Uh, a red parka," the flustered girl replied.

Alec scanned the crowd quickly, using his height to his advantage, and spotted a woman in a red coat carrying a shopping bag that was about the right size, heading for the exit. He ran after her and caught up with her just outside, tapping her on the shoulder.

"Hey, sorry, I really need to talk to you," he said, panting from the unexpected exercise.

She turned around in surprise, then smiled at him. "Hi!" she said in a flirty tone, very blatantly checking him out, and Alec's only excuse was that he panicked.

"I'm gay, I just wanted to ask if you would sell me the Shaman toy," he blurted out.

Her face turned stormy immediately. "Fuck off," she snapped, and stomped off.

Alec heard a snort of laughter behind him, and turned to find the other guy leaning against the wall, trying to catch his breath as well.

"Are you always that straightforward?" he asked, then laughed again when Alec shrugged helplessly. He stuck out a hand. "I'm Magnus."

"Alec," Alec replied, shaking the proffered hand.

"Well, I hope your better half isn't going to hold it against you," Magnus said.

"Um, there's no better half. It's just me and the kid," Alec said.

"Ah, that's tough. As a single parent myself, I understand completely," Magnus said.

"Yeah. Guess we'll just have to think of something else to get for our kids," Alec said gloomily.  

Magnus groaned. "God, I think I need a martini - or two - before I can even start to think about that," he said, then looked up at Alec slightly coyly. "Care to join me?"  

"At 11.30 in the morning?" Alec asked.

"It's always happy hour somewhere," Magnus said airily.

Alec huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, what the hell, why not?"

"You see, it wasn't even my fault. And it wasn't your fault, either. We've just got the worst luck," Alec complained, taking another gulp of his beer. "But it still feels like we're the ones who let our kids down."

"It does," Magnus agreed. "Even though Rafael wouldn't say anything. He'd be disappointed, but he's not the type to throw a tantrum about things like that."

"Yeah, Henry wouldn't, either," Alec said morosely.

"Sounds like we're doing something right, then," Magnus said with a smile.

Alec let out a small chuckle. "Yeah, I hope so."  

"I guess that makes my sad date-less social life worth it," Magnus said musingly.

"Seriously? You, too?" Alec asked in surprise. "I mean... You're you."

Magnus laughed lightly. "I could say the same for you," he told Alec with a wink, and was amused when a slight colour rose in Alec's cheeks.

Alec cleared his throat and checked his watch. "Crap. It's already one o'clock, and we still need to get presents."

"I suppose we can't go wrong with a nice book?" Magnus suggested, half trying to convince himself.

The bartender had put the radio on for some Christmasy tunes, and just as Magnus was trying to catch his attention to call for the bill, an announcement came on the radio.

"Thanks for tuning in to Power NY FM, and pssst, we've got a little surprise for our listeners! Come on down to our booth at the Christmas Parade this afternoon, answer one simple question, and you could stand to win a limited-edition Silver Shot figurine!"

Magnus exchanged a look with Alec and quickly threw down a handful of bills. Alec grabbed both their coats off the back of their chairs and held Magnus' out for him.

"Keep the change, Merry Christmas!" Magnus called out to the bartender as he slipped into his coat, and both of them hurried out into the cold.  

It had made more sense for them to share one car, so they'd taken Alec's practical Honda instead of Magnus' flashy Jaguar, but with all the roadblocks and Christmas Eve traffic, they honestly might have had better luck just jogging there. They reached the booth set up by the radio station with only half an hour to spare before the start of the parade, but when they finally reached the head of the queue, they were in for more disappointment - the radio contest was just for a lucky draw. It would be weeks before the winners were announced.

"Looks like we might have to do our shopping after the parade," Magnus sighed, checking his phone. "My friends were helping me watch Rafael this morning, and I need to go find them."

"Yeah, Henry is with my siblings and their families. I need to go find them too," Alec admitted, skimming through the messages from Jace and Izzy. He really had to go, they were already waiting for him, but he didn't want to leave just yet.

"Do you want to continue our shopping together later?" he blurted out.

"Yes, of course," Magnus replied quickly. "I would love that."

Alec was just about to suggest that they exchange numbers when someone grabbed both of them by their arms.

"Oh thank god, I thought you guys weren't going to show!" she exclaimed, pulling them towards a tent marked 'staff only'.

"What? What's going on?" Alec asked. Magnus looked just as confused.

"You're the actors playing Silver Shot and The Shaman, right?" she asked impatiently, and Alec noticed that she had a pass hanging from a lanyard around her neck that said 'parade manager'.

"No!" Alec yelped.

"Oh shit. I'm so sorry!" the flustered parade manager gasped, letting go of them. "It's just that we've got ten minutes before the parade starts, and the guys who were supposed to dress up as Silver Shot and The Shaman for the parade never showed up. I thought it was you two - you kind of look perfect for the parts."

"No, we're not actors. But what happens if the actual actors don't turn up?" Magnus asked.

"Well, there're going to be lots of disappointed kids for sure," she replied, running a hand through her hair in frustration.

"What would we have to do? Just stand on the parade float and wave?" Magnus asked.

"Pretty much, yeah."

"I think we could do it - don't you agree, Alexander?" Magnus said brightly.

Alec's eyes widened in horror. "Wait-"

"Really?! Oh my god, you're lifesavers! I'll be sure to get one of those special-edition action figures for the both of you as a thank you," she gushed.

"That would be perfect! You're our lifesaver," Magnus said, beaming, then turned to Alec. "Were you about to say something?"

"No, it's nothing," Alec said, licking his lips nervously. "Let's do this."

Magnus had to say that he looked pretty good in The Shaman's costume: dark red flowy pants embroidered with gold thread and heavy with beads, a matching crop top and armbands, and a burnished gold cloak that billowed behind him in a way that satisfied the 8-year-old in him. There was a feathered and beaded half-mask as well, but he left that off for now, and went round the privacy curtain to find Alec fidgeting with his costume: skin-tight militaristic black clothes that clung in all the right places, silver cuffs on his wrists, fingerless gloves, and a silver half-mask. Alec glanced up, his gaze lingering on Magnus' exposed abs and bare arms, and swallowed hard.

"You're going to catch a cold in that," he said a little gruffly.

"It's only for half an hour, I'll be fine," Magnus assured him. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, it's just... I've never worn so much spandex in my life," Alec grumbled, then dropped his head and groaned. "I can't believe I agreed to do this."

Magnus laughed and adjusted Alec's mask for him. "You look fine. More than fine."

Alec blushed charmingly, but before he could reply, there was a knock on the door.

"Everything alright in there?" the parade manager called out, sounding a little panicky. Alec went to open the door for her, and Magnus put on his mask.

They were whisked away to the parade float and briefed on what to expect, and before they knew it, they were standing on the float waving at the crowds and trying their best to look the part. Magnus scanned the crowd, trying to spot Rafael with Ragnor and Raphael, but all he saw was a blur of excited children and adults.

The float came to a stop in front of the ice skating ring at Rockefeller Plaza, which was the midpoint of the parade, and the theme song from the cartoon began to play over the speakers. They were supposed to do a short skit here, pretending to fight each other; Magnus got into the swing of things immediately, pretending to throw fireballs from his hands, but it was hard keeping a straight face with how earnest Alec looked trying to stay in character while firing imaginary arrows from his plastic silver bow and dodging Magnus' attacks.

At the end of the skit, Magnus and Alec moved to the front of the float and held hands, to show that Silver Shot and The Shaman had made up. And when the music stopped, Magnus heard a loud cry - "That's Papa!"

He turned and finally spotted Rafael, who was sitting on the shoulders of his namesake, Magnus' adopted brother. He blew a kiss at his delighted son, and noticed that a little blond boy sitting on the shoulders of a bespectacled guy standing just next to Raphael was also grinning from ear-to-ear, waving madly and shouting, "Daddy! My Daddy is Silver Shot!"

"Is that Henry?" he asked Alec, and Alec nodded, waving and grinning at his son.

As they stood there laughing and waving at their surprised families, a chant started up in the crowd, mostly from the teenagers and adults: "Kiss! Kiss!"

Alec looked a little wild-eyed, but he licked his own lips self-consciously and Magnus saw his eyes dart lower to Magnus' lips.

"It's Christmas, after all. We should give the crowd what they want - that is, if you don't mind," Magnus murmured, stepping a little closer.

"Yeah, we should," Alec agreed. He ducked his head and kissed Magnus gently, to a resounding roar of approval from the crowd.

"I know we don't need to do any more Christmas shopping after this, but I'm gonna be needing your number," Alec told Magnus, his arms still resting lightly around Magnus' waist, and Magnus laughed.

"I have a feeling it's going to be a very Merry Christmas for the both of us," Magnus joked cheekily.

Alec grinned. "Merry Christmas, Magnus."

"Merry Christmas, Alexander."

[incorrectdeceptionquotes]

A Bundle of Secrets Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Mike knocked on the open hospital door, “Heard that someone woke up.” He joked.

Kay smiled at her friend, “Hey Mike.”

“Hey partner. Hey guys, you can come in.” He called from over his shoulder.

Everyone walked in and smiles graced their faces as they walked in with Dina pushing a sleeping Farrah, wearing pink t-shirt, denim overalls and a pastel pink headband, in a stroller. Kay’s smile widened as her friends made their way over to her bedside, “Hey guys. It’s good to see you.”

“You too.” Gunter said, “You gave us quite the scare Daniels.”

“So much so that you got Gunter here showing real emotion.” Jordan joked putting his hand on the older man’s shoulder.

“Boy, if you’d like to go home with that hand, move it.” Gunter threatened making Jordan remove his hand.

“As you can see, not much has changed.” Dina said with a laugh.

“Well, it has only been a few days” Kay joked, “I wouldn’t expect Jordan and Gunter to become besties.”

Just then Farrah started to stir as her bright brown eyes blinked open. Jonathan smiled, “Well, look who’s up too.” He said, walking over to the little girl.

“How did you get her to finally go to sleep in the first place?” Kay asked.

Jonathan shrugged, “There may have been promises about a unicorn.” Farrah held out her arms to be picked up, “A promise I don’t intend to keep.” He said picking up his niece. He took the child over to Kay, “Hey Farrah, look who’s up.”

“Hi Farrah remember me?” Kay asked with a soft smile.

Suddenly, Kay’s face registered in the little baby’s mind and Farrah let out a smile before shyly burying her face in Jonathan’s shoulder, “I think she does.” He placed Farrah down on the bed as Cameron kept a hand behind her back to keep her from falling.

Farrah moved to crawl over to Kay. As she reached Kay’s good arm, Cameron helped Kay adjust Farrah so she could hold the baby with one arm, “Hey baby girl...” Kay smiled.

Farrah gave a toothless smile (well, she had maybe four teeth) and placed a tiny hand on Kay’s face before letting out a, “Heh.”

“Yeah, I’m right here Farrah.” Kay smiled, hoping the cuts and bruises on her face wouldn’t scare the little girl but it didn’t. Farrah leaned her head on Kay’s shoulder and relaxed in her arms. Kay smiled and kissed the side of Farrah’s head as she held the little baby tight, “Yeah, I missed you too.” Cameron took the opportunity to take a photo of the two of them, Kay caught him this time, “Oh come on Cam, I’m not even-”

“It’s just for us.” He smiled, “Besides, you look beautiful.” Kay rolled her eyes as Cameron sat down, “There’s something else I need to tell you guys. Of course, Johnny already knows.”

“What is it Cam?” Jordan asked.

“Well, Johnny and I were talking and while we both agreed to look after Farrah equally. Legally... I’m going to be Farrah’s guardian.”

Mike raised his eyebrows, “You mean... you’re filing for a kinship adoption?”

Cameron nodded, “I know that it’s kind of crazy-”

“It’s not crazy Cam.” Kay said with a smile making him feel at ease.

“We’re due in court next month and the lawyer said that the paperwork can be finalized within a few months after that.”

“So that’s what you were doing when you weren’t here.” Dina said with realization.

Cameron sighed, “I know I can’t ever take the place of her parents but... she needs me. I know she hasn’t been in our lives long but I love this little girl. I want to be able to give her a...” He paused for a moment, “Somewhat normal childhood.”

“Hey, she’s going to have you for a father figure, don’t get your hopes up.” Gunter joked.

Cameron rolled his eyes as everyone laughed. Jonathan smiled at his baby brother, “He didn’t even think twice about the adoption.”

“And the only reason Johnny isn’t the one adopting her is, despite his innocence, he did spend over a year in federal prison which may not go over well with a judge.”Cameron joked.

“On the upside, I get to be the fun uncle and Cam has to be the buzzkill.”

Kay laughed, “Cameron has to be the buzzkill? That’s a phrase I’d never thought I’d hear.” Farrah let out a little cheerful giggle and looked up at Kay, “Yeah, Uncle Cameron’s not a buzzkill, is he?” She cooed at the little girl.

Cam rolled his eyes, “Very funny.”

Suddenly something dawned on Kay, “What about the mystery woman?”

Johnny smirked, “Behind bars, wearing a very unflattering shade of orange.”

Kay smiled, “How? I mean, how did you find her? I-I remember leaving her in the room she had locked me in.”

“It was just... bad timing on her part.” Jonathan said.

“How so?”

“After you had been taken in the ambulance and Jordan and Gunter took Cam to get him cleaned up, I asked Mike to stick around for a minute.”

“Jonathan said he had a feeling he couldn’t shake.”Mike explained, “The Blancs weren’t going anywhere.”

“We already knew that she was the one who was keeping you hostage so we figured that if you had escaped, she wouldn’t be too far behind.” He crossed his arms, “So I waited her out.” He smirked, “One mistake she made was teaching me all her tricks. She wouldn’t try escaping through the back entrance. I had Mike wait by the second side door on the other side of the estate while I looked after my dear in-laws.”

Mike shook his head, “He was right. She was even dressed like one of the maids. I almost didn’t recognize her... but we got her.”

Kay smiled, “So does that mean-”

“I’m out of the doghouse.” Johnny smiled, “For good this time.”

Kay pursed her lips, “What’s her name?”

“Turns out it was Cornelia. Cornelia Berossi.”

“What about the serum?” Kay asked with concern.

“Already taken care of.” Mike assured her.

“No, I mean, there was one in my pocket, one I took from the mys-Cornelia.”

“We took care of that too.”

“Kay, why did she have the serum with her?” Dina asked.

“She...” Kay hesitated as she felt everyone’s eyes on her, “She wanted me to drink it.”

Cameron’s eyes widened, “What?”

“And I actually considered going through with it.”

“Kay, do you know what that serum could have done to you?”

Kay turned her head to Cameron, “Fully aware Cameron.”

Dina knew that Cameron would never understand why if he didn’t let himself shut up so she asked another question, “Why did you consider it?” She wanted to know.

Kay looked at her friend, “She said if I did, she would leave you all alone. Especially Cameron and Jonathan...” She chuckled, shaking her head slightly, “After everything she’s done. It was tempting to believe her.”

Jonathan nodded in understanding. Both he and Cameron understood what that woman was willing to do to get what she wanted, “What made you decide not to do it?” The older twin asked.

Kay was silent for a moment as she looked down at the quiet child in her arms who was clinging onto to her, the baby’s tiny hands gripping the hospital gown she was wearing. She looked back to her friends, “I have too much to live for. I wasn’t going down without a real fight.”

Jonathan gave her smile of respect; she understood the value of the people in this room. Farrah started to fuss and started to try to kick her legs. Cameron quickly stepped in and took the baby from Kay’s arms, “You wanna try walking again? How about Uncle Johnny helps you?”

Johnny rolled his eyes as he took his niece from his brother and stood her up at the foot of the bed, “Why don’t we show everyone what you’ve learned? Okay Marshmallow?”

Cameron furrowed his brows, “I thought she was a sack of pudding.”

“Well, I’ve come to realize that she’s more like a marshmallow. I mean look at these fluffy little arms!” Jonathan grimaced at what he had just said, “Oh God, what is happening to me?” Everyone laughed making Farrah laugh too. He looked down at his niece as he helped her stand up, “Oh yeah, laugh at your uncle miss-missy. You’re lucky I love you.” He looked back up at everyone, “She’s lucky she’s cute.” He said shaking his head.

Farrah gripped her uncle’s hands as she took tiny steps from the foot of the bed to about midway before wanting to sit down again. Kay smiled, “When did she start walking?” Cameron and Jonathan didn’t really know how to tell her that Farrah started walking soon after she went missing, “You know what, it’s fine. I just... I’m disappointed I missed it.”

“Cameron got a video of it.” Jordan pointed out.

Kay turned to Cam, “You’ll have to show me later.”

“You just focus on getting better.” Dina said placing a very light gentle hand on Kay’s left shoulder.

Farrah wiggled her way out of Jonathan’s hold and started crawling towards Kay again. Cameron picked her up before she could reach Kay. As Cameron had her sit in his lap, she stretched and pointed her arm to Kay, “I’m sorry Farrah but you gotta let Aunt Kay get some rest.”

Kay held out her right hand and let the little girl grasp her index finger as Farrah smiled at her, “It’s okay Cam. How can you say no to that face?”

“That’s how she gets you!” He joked. Jonathan looked on as he pulled out his phone and quickly snapped a picture of the three. They would thank him later.

“So the case is... over.”

Jonathan nodded, “Pretty much.”

“What do you plan to do now?” Mike asked.

Cam and Johnny looked at each other before Cameron spoke up, “We were thinking of having a funeral for Fiona and Shawn. They deserved to be buried with dignity.”

“When would you want to do this?” Kay asked.

“Probably within the few days.” Cameron replied, “Just to get everything in order. Last funeral we arranged was Dad’s.”

Just then a nurse walked in, “I’m sorry but I’m afraid that Agent Daniels needs her rest.”

“Rest?” Kay chuckled, “I’ve been asleep for days.”

“You’ve been unconscious Agent Daniels, very different.” The nurse reasoned with her.

“We’ll see you later Kay.” Dina said, giving her friend a light hug.

“Feel better Daniels.” Gunter remarked.

Jordan gave her a thumbs-up, “You got him to show his feelings. Impressive.” Making her chuckle.

Mike smiled at his partner, “Deakins said to take as much time as you need. I’ll see you later.”

Jonathan picked up Farrah from his brother’s arms and placed her back in her stroller, “I’ll watch her for a little while.” He placed his hands on the handles of the stroller as Farrah starting speaking some baby babble, “Looks like someone’s in a rush to start talking... wonder who she get that from.” He joked as he and the others left the room, leaving Kay, Cameron and the nurse.

“You’re comfortable with him staying?” The nurse asked.

Kay took Cam’s hand in hers, “Yes.”

“I’m not going anywhere just yet.” Cameron smiled gripping her hand.

The nurse asked Kay a few questions before telling her that right now rest was the best thing she needed, “If all goes well, you should be able to go home in a couple of days.”

“Thank you.” Kay said giving the patient nurse a smile.

“I’ll leave you to rest.” With that the nurse left the room.

Cameron sat on the bed, facing Kay. He lifted his hand to cup her cheek as he examined her face. The bruising on her face had started to fade and the cut on her lip was barely visible. He was angry with himself that she got hurt because of him but he was just happy that she was okay, that she was still here. Kay didn’t meet his eyes, “I wish you would stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” He asked.

“I don’t know... what’s wrong?”

Cameron sighed, “You got hurt because of me.”

Kay placed a hand on his cheek. He leaned into her touch, “Cameron, I chose to step in front of that bullet.”

He stroked her cheek, “It’s not just that... someone hurt you to get to me.”

Kay chuckled, “You just said that.”

“I know, I just-”

“Cameron, look at me.” She said taking his chin and having them make eye contact, “What happened is not your fault.” She tried to reassure him.

He gave a sad smile, “You’re amazing, you know that?”

She smirked, “So I’ve been told.”

Cameron chuckled and then leaned in, causing their noses to brush together, “I love you.”

Kay smiled as she pressed her lips against his, “I love you too... and your breath still tastes like hospital coffee.” Cameron laughed as he got up to sit himself next to her, letting her lean her head on his shoulder, “Thank you for staying.”

Cameron rested his head on hers, “Thank you for living.”They closed their eyes to enjoy the peace and quiet but they soon both fell sound asleep and for the first time in weeks, they weren’t worrying about tomorrow.

Things are starting to lighten up again... or are they? I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think that there might be less than five chapters left in this story... keyword: might

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and please let me know what you thought, I love hearing your feedback!

[winchestergirl-13]

Donna x Daughter!Reader: “You’re My Daughter”

Karissa’s 200 Followers Challenge

Prompt: “Baby, you’re not a bother.”- “I’m too needy, you don’t deserve it.” and “Don’t ever do that again! You scared the shit out of me!”

Pairing: Donna x Daughter!Reader

Word count: 6264

Warnings: fluff, angst? (not really, i think)

A/N: This was written for @imaginesforthose-wholovefandoms 200 follower challenge. I was going to write this has the reader being Chuck’s daughter and Donna being her step-mom, but this worked better. It is long, I apologize for that. I had trouble trying to find a place for the prompts, but it works for the story. I hope you all like it! 

If there was one thing that scared Donna the most now after becoming a hunter, was her daughter getting involved and getting hurt. (Y/N) wasn’t Donna’s biological daughter, she was adopted, but she was her daughter nonetheless. She wasn’t always around (usually at school or staying with Jody and her girls), but recently, she’s been staying at the Bunker with Donna and the Winchesters. When (Y/N) met Sam and Dean for the first time, they did everything they could to make the girl feel welcome and protected.

*Flashback*

“Sam, Dean, this is my daughter (Y/N). (Y/N), this is Sam and Dean Winchester,” Donna introduced. The boys were looking back and forth between (Y/N) and Donna and while there was no obvious resemblance, they could see how much she cared for the girl.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, (Y/N),” Dean held his hand out for her. Her hand was practically swallowed by his hand.

“Nice to meet you, too,” she replied with a grin. Turning to Sam, he took the initiative and went for a hug that lifted the small girl off her feet. Everyone shared a laugh before Sam placed (Y/N) back on her feet.

“It’s great to finally meet you. Donna’s talked about you, but we thought we’d never meet you,” Sam stated, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“Well that’s ‘cause I didn’t want her involved too much in hunting. Normally she stays with Jody, but with her on her own hunt with Mary, well no one was around to watch her.”

“Well, you’re always welcomed here. Just no boys,” Dean commented with a smirk.

“Don’t worry Dean. With people like my mom and Jody, I don’t think any boy would dare come around here, especially if you two are here,” (Y/N) shrugged, a smirk on her face.

*End Flashback*

That had been almost a year ago. Nowadays, Donna and (Y/N) have moved into the Bunker, even if she did stay with Jody once in a while. Sam and Dean were like brothers to (Y/N) and she couldn’t have been happier. And she could see that her mom was happier, too.

Chuck Shurley, a.k.a God, had basically moved into the Bunker and from time to time, he’d pop by for a quick visit to check up on everyone or to stay for a while. With him came the Archangels sometimes. (Y/N) was uncertain of them (Castiel being to only she had meet for some time), but she had come to like hanging with Gabriel and could tolerate Lucifer. Michael and Raphael were still getting used to the idea of being around humans so much and not fighting. It was a work in progress, but it was going well. Chuck had taken to the young girl easily and she loved hearing stories from him. (Y/N) could see when he was in the room with her mom, Donna would have this big old grin on her face and faint blush. (Y/N) could see a crush was developing and she was really happy for her.

*Flashback*

Donna was lonely for a while there after Doug left her. Her friendship with Jody and the Winchesters was great, but she felt like something was missing. And then one day, a young girl, no more than thirteen, was picked up and brought to the station. She came from a broken home and she would be sent to an orphanage as there were no relatives who could take care of her. Donna offered her a place to stay while all the legal work was sorted out and during that time, she grew found of the young girl. Donna had found the missing piece in her life. Without any hesitation, she put in the forms to be her legal guardian.

“Y-you don’t have to do that. You’ve done more than enough for me. I’ll just get in your way,” was (Y/N)’s response when she heard what Donna wanted to do for her.

With a soft smile, Donna placed her hands on the (Y/N)’s shoulders to calm her down. “True, but I want to do this for you. And no, you won’t get in the way. You deserve a better life and I’m willing to give that to you. I want to do this for you. What do you say, (Y/N), would you mind me being your legal guardian?”

(Y/N) stared at Donna in shock. She really wanted to do this of her? A smile crossed her face as she threw her arms around Donna, who stood there startled for a moment before returning the hug. “I take it that means yes?”

“Definitely.”

*End Flashback*

It would be another year before Donna decided to just go ahead and adopt (Y/N), who had no objections at all. The year after was when Amara was released and Donna took (Y/N) to one of Jody’s safe houses (the year she adopted (Y/N), Donna was honest with her about the hunting and the monsters that go bump in the night), so they never met Chuck until now. And (Y/N) just sat back and watched as her mom would become flustered whenever Chuck entered the room or wanted to do something with her. Everything was going great for once. Except for one thing.

“You can’t go on this hunt (Y/N). I don’t want you hunting yet,” Donna informed as she helped pack some food for the hunt Sam and Dean were going on. She was staying behind after the last hunt when she broke her wrist (Chuck healed her, but she wanted to sit this one out).

“Why not? I know what their hunting and I know how to shoot a gun thanks to you, Dean, and Jody. Let me help, please,” (Y/N) begged, sitting on the counter in the kitchen.

“Because I said so. Darling, I’m happy you want to help, but it’s too dangerous. In another year or two if you want to hunt still, then you can help out. But for now, the closest to hunting I want you to do is helping with the research,” Donna amended as she closed the cooler, filled with some food and drinks for the drive to Stillwater, Oklahoma. Turning, she saw how upset her daughter looked and she knew that she wanted to be helpful, but she just couldn’t bear the thought of her getting hurt. With a sigh, she spoke up, “Maybe if I can convince the boys, which will be difficult seeing as they see you as a little sister to them, maybe you can come on the next hunt. It’s not set in stone, but if they agree, you listen to them if I’m not there. Alright?”

(Y/N)’s face brightened a little at the thought of possibly going on the next hunt and replied, “Okay, mom.”

“Good. Now, wanna help me load up the car with the boys?” With a nod, she hopped off the counter and the two of them grabbed the cooler and one of the weapons bags on the table and headed for the garage. With the Impala loaded up, Sam and Dean said their goodbyes and they were off. Only, they had an extra passenger. Donna didn’t even notice (Y/N) getting into the car. She left after saying her goodbyes and while Donna was talking to the boys about her possibly going on the next hunt, (Y/N) snuck around the car and carefully opened the back passenger door and climbed in, shutting it softly. Covering herself with the blanket in there, she laid down on the floor board and waited. She heard the front doors open and the car shifted as Sam and Dean slid in before shutting their doors. The roar of the Impala sounded louder from her spot on the floorboards and she had to cover her mouth before she would be heard. When she didn’t hear anything from the boys, she relaxed and settled in for a four hour drive.

(Y/N) should have known it wouldn’t be that simple. Sooner or later Sam and Dean would realize she snuck into the car and then they would have to call Donna and…she really should have thought this out more. Laying on the floor of a moving car for just about four hours is not the most comfortable thing. She’d been to Stillwater once before with Donna to meet an old friend of hers and (Y/N) knew they weren’t anywhere near it when she felt the shift in the road from asphalt to gravel. Baby came to a complete stop on the side of the road and her heart rate started to increase.

“Are you going to come out or am I going to have to reach back there myself?” Dean questioned, turning around in his seat and waited for (Y/N) to show herself. Slowly, she pushed the blanket off of her face and looked up at her surrogate brothers.

“H-How did you know I was there?” she asked as she climbed onto the back seat.

“Sweetheart, you can’t fool me. I’ve seen this trick before. You weren’t as subtle as you thought you were. Knew you were here before we left the Bunker, (Y/N). Now, why are you hiding in Baby?” Dean grilled her, green eyes drilling holes into her hunched frame.

“I-I-I just wanted to help…” came her soft response, eyes trained on her feet.

“(Y/N) look at me please?” Sam asked, waiting for her to bring her head up. Once he held her gaze, he continued, “I know you want to help. We’ve both seen how eager you are to help us. But your mother was right. This one is too dangerous for you to be here with us. Donna, she asked if you could join us on the next hunt and we told her that you could as long as it wasn’t too dangerous. But now, that won’t happen. I don’t like having to play a bad guy here, you’re like a sister to us, but because of this stunt, you won’t be going on a hunt with us anytime soon.”

Dean nodded in agreement before he added on, “Right now, it’s too late to drive back and then head out again. When we get to the motel, we’re going to call Donna and tell her what happened if she doesn’t already know by now and then we go from there. You’re going to stay in the motel when we head out to investigate what happened and when we go hunt this bastard down. You are not to leave the  motel room, am I understood?”

“Yes sir…” (Y/N) replied in a small voice, her head lowering again. Dean heaved a sigh, he never wanted to hear her sound so scared.

“Munchkin, look at me. Please?” Her hazel eyes slowly lifted to meet his, tears threatening to fall. “We’re not angry, okay? We’re upset and worried. We don’t want to see you get hurt. What if we hadn’t known you were here? What about your mom? She’s probably worried sick about you. I’m not trying to make you feel bad, but you can’t be doing this, alright? None of us are trying to be mean. We just want you to be safe. Okay?”

Sniffling, she nodded her head and buckled up as Dean turned around and restarted the car. Sam offered her a small smile, but she just curled up on the seat and looked out the window. About thirty to forty minutes later, the trio found themselves outside Wyndham Garden motel. While Dean went to go check them in, Sam was trying to coax (Y/N) out of the car.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. We’re not mad, sweetie. I promise. Now c'mere, lets get you out of the car,” Sam reached in when he realized (Y/N) wasn’t going to leave. He carefully unbuckled her seat belt and grabbed hold of her hand and gently eased her out of the car. Once he closed the door, Sam suddenly had (Y/N) trying to bury her face into his chest. He just shook his head and wrapped his arms around her and held her until Dean came out of the front lobby with their room keys.

“Alright lets…everything alright?” he stopped short as he took in what he was seeing.

Sam nodded his head, his hand rubbing (Y/N)’s back, “Yeah. We’re good. I think she’s just nervous is all.”

“(Y/N)? You okay sweetheart?” Dean asked as he tried to get her to remove her face from Sam’s chest.

“I’m alright,” came her muffled reply before she let go of Sam. Turning around, she was met with Dean’s face right in front of her.

“You sure?” No, she wasn’t. But she couldn’t tell them that. They already knew though, they just wanted to hear her say it. (Y/N) shook her head and Dean stood to his full height and pulled her into his arms. This was going to be difficult for all of them. No one wants to make a mother angry, but neither Sam nor Dean wanted to see Donna when she was angry (and worried for that matter). The three of them made their way to the room with all of their luggage and then came the inevitable.

*Meanwhile*

Four Hours Earlier

“Alrighty then (Y/N). What’s say you and I make something for dinner and enjoy some time away from the boys?” Donna asked as she walked back into the Bunker, thinking (Y/N) would be waiting in the war room. But she wasn’t there. “(Y/N)?”

Donna wondered through the Bunker, calling out for her daughter, but never hearing a response. She was starting to get worried. (Y/N) always responded when Donna called for her, but it was like she wasn’t here.

“Oh no. Don’t tell me she left with them!” she cried as she pulled out her phone and dialed her number, only to hear it ringing in the kitchen where (Y/N) left it. “Damn it!” Donna wasn’t sure what she should do now. If she contacted the boys, there’s a chance that they would turn back around but she wasn’t certain. “Maybe she was just hiding somewhere in the Bunker?” she thought to herself.

“Oh who am I kiddin’? She obviously snuck out of here in the car. Maybe Chuck could get her back here without the boys knowing?” she wondered out loud.

“I’m sorry, Donna, but I can’t do that.”

“Jesus! Sorry, but don’t scare me like that!” she cried out as she turned around and saw Chuck behind her, chuckling at her reaction.

“Sorry darling. But I can’t retrieve her. I don’t know if the boys already know she’s there or not, but I can’t have her disappearing if they do.” Donna understood, so she just waited until one of them could call her, Chuck keeping her company. They waited for four hours to hear whether or not her baby was with the boys.

“Ring! Ring! Ring!” Donna heard her phone going off. Picking it up, she saw the caller ID was Dean.

“Don’t even think of lying to me right now, Dean. Is (Y/N) with you two?”

*At the motel*

They had gotten settled in the motel room, (Y/N) wringing her hands together from her seat on one of the beds. Sam was getting some things set out on the opposite bed for the hunt when Dean grabbed his phone.

“Please. Please don’t call her.” He looked over when he heard the fear in (Y/N)’s voice. Dean knelt down beside her, placing a hand on top of hers to stop her from fidgeting.

“I have to, sweetie. She has a right to know that you’re here.”

“Please don’t. She’s gonna hate me! She’ll be so mad at me!” That got them up and crowding around her.

“Hey now. Don’t say that. Donna may be upset that you left, but she’ll never hate you. Why would you say that?” Sam questioned, concerned for her.

“Because it’s happened before. I always end up making someone hate me. I never do anything right!” (Y/N) cried, burying her head in her hands. Sam and Dean shared a shocked look.

“What do you mean, (Y/N)? Are you talking about the family you had before?” Dean pressed, tucking some hair behind her ear. She couldn’t speak, so she nodded her head in confirmation. Sam gathered (Y/N) up into his arms and held her while Dean made the call. He did his best to calm her down, but she was almost inconsolable. When Donna picked up, they could almost hear her on the other side of the phone.

“Don’t even think of lying to me right now, Dean. Is (Y/N) with you two?”

“Before I answer, Donna, try and take a deep breath.”

“Don’t tell me what to do right now Dean! I need to know that (Y/N) is safe!”

“She’s safe. She’s with us right now. But she’s terrified, Donna. (Y/N)’s in Sam’s arms as we speak and he’s trying to calm her down.”

“What? What’s wrong?”

Dean retold the story of what just happened before he called her. Donna demanded to talk to her daughter.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea right now.”

“Dean, she’s my daughter. Let me talk to her. I promise I’m not angry at her. I’m a worried mother and I just want to talk to my baby. Now put her on the phone.”

With a sigh, Dean muttered a “hold on” before walking back over to where Sam and (Y/N) were sitting, having moved towards the headboard. Sam had (Y/N) sitting across his lap, his arms encasing her as she laid her head on his chest above his heart. Dean tapped her shoulder and when she looked over, he handed her the phone.

With shaky hands, she took the phone from his outstretched hand. Putting it up to her ear, she let out a quiet, “M-Mom…?”

“(Y/N)! Oh thank heavens you’re alright, baby. Don’t ever do that again! You scared the shit out of me!” Donna scolded lightly. (Y/N) was a little shocked. Her mother never cussed. Once or twice a “hell” or “damn” would escape her lips, but that was it. If she was talking like this, then she really must have worried her.

“I-I’m s-sorry, mama…”she stuttered as she tried not cry again, tears falling anyways. Donna could feel her own heart breaking at her daughters words.

“Oh honey. Sh…sh…it’s okay. I’m not mad at you, I promise. Honey, have I ever done anything to you that said I was angry with you? Have I ever hurt you?”

“N-no…*sniff*.” Sam gently dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.

“Then listen to me closely, okay (Y/N)? You listenin’ hon?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I promise, I am not angry. I’m worried because my baby girl took off without a word and snuck into a hunt I said not to go on because I didn’t want you to get hurt. I’m scared because I thought something had happened to you. I promise, when you get home, all I’m going to do is give you a lecture and ground you for a week, only after I hug you like there’s no tomorrow. I’m not angry at you, (Y/N). I promise.”

“You’re not mad?”

“I was at first, but then I realized that you’re with Sam and Dean, so you’re safe. No, I’m not mad, never really was. Just worried. Now, before you hand the phone back to Dean, promise me you’ll listen to the boys and do as they say. If they say to stay in the motel room, stay in the room. Don’t sneak into the car in hopes of going on the hunt. If I have to, I’ll send Castiel or Gabriel over to stay with you while the boys are out.”

“I don’t need a babysitter, mom.”

“True, but I will ask them if I feel the need to. I know you’re sixteen and can handle a few hours by yourself, but it would make me feel better if there was someone there with you.”

“I understand.”

“Good. Now promise me you’ll stay in the room? You’ll do as they say?”

“I promise.”

“Alright. Hand the phone back to Dean please. I love you, (Y/N). I’ll see you soon.”

“I love you too, mom.” (Y/N) handed the phone back to Dean and curled back into Sam’s chest as he started to play with her hair a bit. She watched as Dean paced the floor talking to Donna and relaxed. Everything was alright.

Sam and Dean had left to go investigate the killing and right before they left, Gabriel and Castiel appeared in the room. (Y/N) doubled over in laughter as the boys both jumped in surprise at their sudden appearance.

“Damn it! What is it with you angels just showing up out of nowhere?!” Dean cried, clutching at his heart in an attempt to calm down.

“I apologize Dean,” commented Castiel.

“Yeah, yeah. Listen, you two go off and do your thing. We’ll stay here with the trouble-maker,” Gabriel waved them off with a smirk. (Y/N) waved goodbye as they pealed out of the parking lot and walked back into the motel room. Gabriel was lounging on the couch in the room and Castiel was sitting on one of the beds, ankles crossed as he read a book. With a sigh, she walked over to the couch and plopped down next to Gabe and curled into his side. He didn’t say anything, just adjusted his position and lifted an arm to wrap around her. It was peaceful to say the least. Sam and Dean came back about an hour and a half later with some food for all of them and they enjoyed dinner before they had to head out again later to finish the hunt.

“Alright. We should be back sometime later tonight if not in the morning. Please stay out of trouble, (Y/N),” Dean ordered softly as he and Sam grabbed their gear.

“I will, I promise. Please, be safe you two,” (Y/N) stated as she gave them both a hug before they left.

“We will. See you later,” Sam said as they left. The rest of the night went off without a hitch. Sam and Dean got back around one in the morning and after they cleaned up, they went to bed. Dean ended up sharing with (Y/N), not that either one cared. She just snuggled next to him as he wrapped an arm around her. Cas and Gabe keeping watch through the night and they were there in the morning when they left.

The car ride was growing tense the closer they got to the Bunker. Even with the angels on either side of her and what Donna told her the night before, she still felt scared to face her. Sam and Dean couldn’t really sense what she was feeling, but Cas and Gabe could.

“Honey, calm down. Your mama ain’t mad at you. Remember what she told you? She just wants you home. That’s all.” Gabriel soothing voice spoke in her mind.

“I know. But my mind keeps coming up with worse case scenarios. I keep thinking something like before is going to happen again,” she replied.

“You know that’s never going to happen again. Donna would never hurt you like those people did,” Castiel’s gravely voice came through.

“I know. I just hate making her upset,” she sighed, leaning her head against Cas’s shoulder.

“It’ll be okay, sweetheart. You’ll see,” Gabe commented, brushing her hair from her face, placing a kiss to her temple. Before they knew it, Dean was pulling into the garage of the Bunker and (Y/N) could see Donna and Chuck waiting for them. Chuck had his arm wrapped around Donna’s shoulders, keeping her calm until the car stopped. Everyone started to pile out of the car, (Y/N) being the slowest. As soon as she shut her door, Donna was running over to her.

“Oh baby! I’m so glad you’re alright!” Donna cried as she wrapped her daughter in a hug.

“I’m sorry, mama. I just…I wanted to help…I’m so sorry….” (Y/N) sniffled, tears falling again as she buried her head in her mother’s shoulder.

Donna smoothed her hair down as she rocked her slightly, “Sh…sh…it’s okay. It’s okay. You’re here. That’s all that matters. You’re okay, baby. You’re okay. Sh…”

Chuck ushered the rest of them back into the Bunker, letting the mother and daughter have their moment. He promised to make lunch for everyone if they left Donna and (Y/N) alone for a bit. As Donna mentioned on their phone call, (Y/N) got a small lecture on sneaking out and disobeying and for the next week she was grounded to the Bunker, but right now, she was just happy to be home.

It had been a few weeks since the incident and while no one brought it up, it was still on (Y/N)’s mind. Why hadn’t Donna acted the way her last family did? Why didn’t anyone treat her like they did? It was something that confused her, but it shouldn’t have. She had a loving family; a mother, a surrogate father (even if it was only in her mind), two human surrogate brothers and their mother who treated her like one of her own, her friends, and the angels who treated her like a sibling. So why did she feel so conflicted?

Sam and Dean were out on another hunt with Mary this time and Donna had gone to the store with Gabriel. (Y/N) stayed home with Chuck and the rest of the Archangels. Currently she was trying to show Lucifer and Michael how to play video games on the Wii system Gabriel snapped up for them. Raphael watching from his seat in the recliner as he read a book. Chuck smiled at how happy she looked, but he could see past the mask. He saw how uncertain she was with everything that’s happened. He knew what he had to do, he just wasn’t sure if he should approach her or talk to Donna first. He figured he could loop Donna into this later. It was time to be the father she thought him to be (she never told him that’s how she saw him, but he knew).

“Hey (Y/N), may I speak with you for a moment?” She paused the game and turned around, smiling at the deity.

“Oh hey Chuck. Of course. Think you two can figure out the game?” she turned to the two archangels.

“Yep! Now go on. I want to see if I can beat Michael.”

“As if, Lucifer.”

(Y/N) walked over to Chuck and the two of them made their way into the room they converted into a study. She could feel her anxiety kicking in the moment the door clicked shut. “Did I do something wrong?” she thought to herself.

“Relax (Y/N). I just want to talk, that’s all. You’re not in trouble. Breathe, sweetheart, breathe,” Chuck said, gently pulling the girl into a hug, one hand pressing her head to his chest and the other rubbing her back soothingly.

Taking a deep breath, (Y/N) felt herself relaxing enough to pull away from Chuck and sit with him on the couch. With a wave of his hand, on the table were two steaming mugs of tea and they just sat there for a moment. Enjoying the silence and comfort from the others presence.

“(Y/N), is there anything you’d like to tell me?” Cue slight choking on tea.

“I’m sorry?” she choked out, Chuck patting her back as she regained her breathing.

“I know there’s something bothering you, (Y/N). You can hide it from everyone else, but not from me. What’s bothering you? And I promise I won’t tell your mother if you don’t want me to, but it would be better if she knew. I just want to help. Please, let me help you,” Chuck bargained, shifting around to face (Y/N) on the couch.

With a sigh, she knew her fate was sealed; you can’t hide anything from this man. He is God after all. So she told him everything. About how her last family weren’t the best people and if she did something wrong, well it wasn’t pretty. They hurt her in ways that left more mental and emotional scars than physical ones. Throughout her tale, Chuck was a silent comfort, only speaking when she needed an encouragement to go on. Brushing her hair out of her face, squeezing her hand, wiping at the tears that fell. He gave her the comfort she craved and when (Y/N) told him how she felt Donna would do the same if she told her, he shook his head.

“You know she’d never do that to you. She loves you too much to ever hurt you like that.”

“I know. My heart tells me it won’t ever happen, but my mind doesn’t agree.” Throughout her story, neither noticed Donna listening in the doorway, silent tears falling down her face. How could her daughter think she’d ever hurt her?

“Because that was all she ever knew before you came into her life. (Y/N) loves you unconditionally for you gave her something she never had. Love, family, stability. But she still harbors the fear that the rug would be pulled out from under her and this would all go away. That she’d be back where she was before. You need to tell her that it won’t ever come to that.” Chuck’s voice sounded in her mind. He was right. (Y/N) needed to know that she was loved. So she stepped into the room, not letting them know she was there yet.

“(Y/N), you need to tell Donna how you feel. She needs to know so she can help you.”

“I don’t want to bother her.”

“Baby, you’re not a bother,” Donna chided as she stepped around the couch.

“I’m too needy, you don’t deserve it,” (Y/N) stated as her gaze found her hands.

“(Y/N) look at me,” Donna demanded, crouching in front of her daughter. She waited for (Y/N) to raise her head to look at her. When she did, she gave a comforting smile as she cupped (Y/N)’s cheek. “You are not a bother. You are not too needy. You are my daughter. Nothing more. You’ve had a hard life before I met you; you’ve built your walls so high I need a ladder sometimes to see you behind them. But that doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care if I have to wait for you climb a ladder yourself to meet me, I’ll wait. I don’t care if I wake up in the middle of the night to comfort you after a nightmare or if you climb into my bed at night ‘cause you’re scared. I’ll do my darnedest to be there for you, to be a shoulder to lean on when you need it. I know you’re scared and I know your trust is hard to earn, but I’ll be there for you, every step of the way. I love you, (Y/N). I don’t care how long it takes us to fix this, but I’ll always be there to catch you when you fall.”

(Y/N) was silently sobbing during Donna’s little speech. How did she get so lucky to have a mother like Donna? Without a word, she threw her arms around her mother, Donna pulling her with her as she sat on the floor. Chuck sat on the couch, watching as the mother and daughter sought comfort from each other. He knew this was all they needed. He snapped the tea cups away and in their place was a tissue box. He knelt down next to the duo, brushing (Y/N)’s hair from her face as she buried it in Donna’s shoulder. Sharing a smile with her, he left the tissue box on the floor next to them and started to get up.

“Chuck wait.” He stopped and looked over at (Y/N) who gave him a small smile threw her tears and wrapped her arms around his chest. “Thank you.”

With a chuckle, he wrapped his arms around the young girl and gave her a small squeeze, “You’re welcome, sweetheart.” After a moment, he released her and placed a kiss on the top of her head. (Y/N) found her mother’s arms again as Chuck stood up. He leant down and placed a kiss to Donna’s temple before he left.

“You two take your time. I’ll go see if I can wrangle Gabriel into helping me make something for all of us to eat tonight.” And then he left, leaving the two of them to themselves. (Y/N) saw the blush on Donna’s cheeks and couldn’t help the giggle that broke free.

“Aw mom! You’re blushing!”

“I am not!” she yelped, blush deepening. While (Y/N) broke down into a fit of laughter, courtesy of Donna tickling her, she smiled. Chuck certainly was something else. So was (Y/N). She was so happy to see that her daughter felt at ease now, knowing that her family was here and that they weren’t going anywhere. She stopped her playful tickles and the two of them sat against the couch, taking the silence in comfort.

“Hey mom?”

“Yeah baby?” she looked down at (Y/N), placing a kiss against her temple.

“I…I love you mom…”

“I love you too, (Y/N).” She gave her a squeeze that had her giggling again and they fell back into silence. At least for a few minutes.

“Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you and Chuck ever going to go on a date?” Blunt and to the point.

“C-come again?” Donna stuttered.

“Oh come on, mom. I see the way you look at him. You’re totally head over heels for him,” (Y/N) smirked as Donna sputtered, trying to find something to say.

“I’m not…” she couldn’t even finish.

“Yes you are. I wonder if Chuck knows. I’ll go ask him,” (Y/N) got up before her mom could stop her and was out the door, Donna almost tripping over her feet as she got up.

“(Y/N) wait! Come back here!” she called out, chasing after her daughter who was laughing down the hall. This was how she wanted her daughter to be, laughing and care-free. Just not currently trying to interfere with her “nonexistent” love life. They chased each other into the kitchen where Chuck, Gabriel, Raphael, Lucifer, and Michael all were.

“Hey Chu-mmph!” (Y/N) started, only for Donna to cover her mouth before she could say anything.

“What’s going on here?” he chuckled, setting down the knife he was using.

“Nothing!” Donna stated hastily, trying to drag (Y/N) out of the kitchen. (Y/N) managed to shake her head free of her mother’s hand, but didn’t try to get out of her grasp.

“What I was going to say was, do you need any extra help?”

“No, we’re good here. Thank you, though. You two go relax, we got dinner covered,” he replied, walking over to the two of them. Donna was frozen in her spot; she couldn’t believe her daughter played her like that! Chuck’s smile wasn’t helping either. Donna’s grip was loose enough for (Y/N) to get out of and walked over to Gabriel, watching the show. Donna opened and closed her mouth, trying to find the words, but nothing came out. It didn’t matter though. Chuck was right in front of her, one hand cupping her cheek, the other wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer. He tapped his forehead against hers, a smile on both of their faces. Chuck placed a small kiss to her nose that had her giggling (while this was happening, Gabriel was trying to cover (Y/N)’s eyes). With a thought, everyone left the kitchen, leaving Chuck and Donna to themselves.

“Now then, where were we?” he chuckled.

“I think right here,” Donna smirked, leaning up as he leaned down and their lips connected. A spark went off in their minds; this felt right to them.

A few minutes later, Donna walked into the living room where the “children” sat waiting. She shooed the angels back to the kitchen and sat down next to (Y/N). She pulled her into her arms and just sat there.

“Mom?” (Y/N) looked up to see this silly grin on her mothers face.

“Hm?”

“Sorry if I embarrassed you. It’s just, you two seem really cute together.”

“Oh it’s alright, darling. Everything worked out. But I got to ask, would you be okay if Chuck and I started dating?” she asked, worry hidden in her voice.

“Okay? Mom, I couldn’t be happier! Of course I’d be okay with it! You just tell him that I don’t care that he’s God, if he hurts you, he has to deal with me,” (Y/N) stated, crossing her arms across her chest.

“Don’t you worry, honey. I don’t think we’ll have to worry about that. I don’t think the boys would let him hear then end of it if he hurt me,” she chuckled, leaning back into the couch.

“That is true,” (Y/N) replied, settling next to Donna and turned the T.V on. Everything was good now. Donna and (Y/N) have fixed their relationship and Donna and Chuck are working on theirs. Everyone saw that coming. It’ll take some time, but everything fell into place and it felt right. (Y/N) couldn’t have been happier. Donna, a  mother who loved her unconditionally. Mary and Jody who have become her surrogate mothers when she needs them. Sam and Dean and the Angels who have become brothers to her. Chuck, who has become the father she never had (which the title will come one day). And a home to call her own. (Y/N)’s life has never been better.

[kara-no-ai]

KOR Bad Boys part 5

A million thanks are owed to @mikototsu-trash​ for taking the time to proofread this.

-♛-

Bar Homra’s door opened and in stepped Nagahama, his face rigid and pale.

Kusanagi, who was behind the counter helping out Mizuomi like usual, startled at the sight and stopped what he was doing.

Mizuomi bid him welcome in a gentle tone as though nothing was out of the ordinary.

“Is he a friend of yours?” Mizuomi asked Kusanagi softly as Nagahama situated himself on one of the seats at the bar counter.

Kusanagi gave a vague nod. He would hang out with Nagahama if he happened upon him in town, but this was the first time that Nagahama had come to the bar. He had believed they had a silent understanding with each other to not involve themselves in the other’s affairs outside of when they were roaming around the city.

When Nagahama sat down, Mizuomi silently offered him a glass of water. Nagahama looked up at Mizuomi, looking more at a loss than Kusanagi had ever seen him before. Lifting his head fully up, gave Mizuomi a quick bow (1) and then downed the glass of water in one chug.

“What happen that’s got ya comin’ ‘ere of all places?”

“Sorry…” said Nagahama, his face still as pale as before. “Remember how I told you about Earless Mitsuha- Kurayama Mitsuha, the other day?”

“Yeah.” Hearing about Suoh had been a result of that conversation that had started out as being about Earless Mitsuha.

When Kusanagi nodded and Nagahama bending forward to lean his body over the counter. He spoke in a quiet voice.

“Our group’s Oogaki got attacked. His injuries are gonna take a month to heal completely.”

Kusanagi’s shoulders stiffened. Oozaki was one of the people close to Nagahama. He was one of the violence prone members of Nagahama’s group.

“Why’d he get attacked?”

“Like I said before, Mitsuha’s like a serial attacker. If your eyes meet when you cross paths with him, you’re done for.”

“What’s he, some sorta creature from an urban legend or somethin’?” (2)

Though Nagahama was being serious, Kusanagi was not completely empathetic and could not help but joke around. Nagahama, did not react negatively to that.

“I guess…” Nagahama murmured. “He really might as well be. We don’t got a clue what he’s thinking or what he’s after. Even with Oozaki- he wasn’t trying to start anything with Mitsuha, he was just walking by when Mitsuha came up to him. And then without any warning Mitsuha just attacked him. I’m sure Oozaki was trying to act cool and all since Ami was with him instead of backing down. Heard from her that he tried to fight back but then got beaten up.”

Kusanagi thought back to the girl he’d thought seemed simple-minded yet cute that he had seen when he and Nagahama chatted at the park. He was certain the girl’s name had been Ami.

“What happened ta her?”

“She took a kick to the stomach after she started screaming,” said Nagahama in a low voice as his expression turned to a mixture of anger and fearlessness. “After she cowered clutching her stomach he seemed to lose interest in her. Her injuries were mainly bruises but…… I guess we should be counting our lucky stars he wasn’t the kind of guy who had an interest in doing anything to a girl beyond that.”

Nagahama ruffled his hair in an irritated fashion. Kusanagi quickly refilled Nagahama’s empty cup with water.

“So what’re ya plannin’ on doin’? Get revenge fer Oozaki? I hate ta say this but I don’t think there’s anythin’ you guys can do… If ya really wanna do somethin’ about Mitsuha, the fastest way ta get ridda him would be ta get Oozaki-kun and Ami-chan to go to the police.”

Even as he said it, Kusanagi knew that it was unlikely that Nagahama would take his advice. And sure enough, Nagahama looked up at Kusanagi with renewed fury coursing through him.

“Like we could do something so pathetic! First off, the police aren’t going to take up a dispute between guys like us. Even Ami’s been taken in by the police numerous times. There’s no fucking way we could just go to the police.”

Something dangerous shone in Nagahama’s normally easygoing eyes.

“There’ve been other groups who’ve gotten their asses kicked by Mitsuha too. No matter how you slice it, there’s no way we could go running to the police… But you’re right that we’re no match for Mitsuha’s team if it’s just us fighting them.”

It seems as though this conversation is heading in a troubling direction. Kusanagi scratched his cheek.

“Hey, Kusanagi,” Nagahama said as he leaned over the counter.

Here it comes thought Kusanagi, smiling wryly inside.

'Hey, Kusanagi’. Kusanagi had had his name spoken like that quite a few times before. What followed after was usually a somewhat troublesome request.

“You got connection with a lotta people. Could you put in a word for us with a team that’s trying to take down Mitsuha? I’d wanna join forces with 'em.”

“Like I told ya before, Mitsuha’ll disappear without you gettin’ involved. 'Fore long the police… or the hired muscle of those kindsa people. He’ll either end up in jail or at the mercy of people ya don’t wanna mess with. The next rumor ta spread about him could be just that, y'know.”

No matter where you go, there is always going to be hot-blooded guys out there. Among those who fool around in Shizume City after dark, such guys are a dime a dozen. The reason why Kuroyama Mitsuha stands out amidst guys like that as a problem is he is just the slightest bit too strong. Despite that, however, he would probably be taken down before long. Even in a society where violence is an everyday matter, those too thirsty for blood would end up drowning in a pool of their own.

“He attacked our members. We can’t just sit back and cry ourselves to sleep hoping someone else’ll take care of our problem for us.”

Kusanagi gave a light reply of “guess so,” as he looked at Nagahama’s glaring eyes.

Kusanagi had never once experienced the impassioned feeling of seeking revenge for one of his own himself, as he remained unfettered by social entanglements. However, he understood. Teams who did nothing when their members were slapped around would lose their ability to function as a team. And once others began to not take them seriously, they would fall much further. In order to parade oneself proudly on the streets, one had to show their strength.

Kusanagi was actually aware of several other groups that were put in the same situation as Nagahama by Mitsuha since his appearance in Shizume City.

“I’m giving you a job request, Kusanagi. Be my middleman in helping take down Kurayama Mitsuha. I want info on him.”

Kusanagi sighed in defeat.

Among the young guys who fool around in Shizume City after dark, Kusanagi had a convenient position. He did not have any affiliations to a particular group, which made him able to go to any group.  He attained a lot of information from being known in various circles since he could move about freely due to his actions being unconstrained by the people and positions of powers within a group. Because of that, from time to time he would get requests for “jobs” for him to do. He would be someone to go to for advice when suspicious things popped up, settle internal disputes among teams, act something like an informant, etc.

Mizuomi would laugh and say: “What are you, a lawyer for the streets?” (Incidentally, he did not find out about Kusanagi’s “jobs” through Kusanagi telling him. He did not know through what channel the rumor had reached Mizuomi’s ears, but before he had realized it, Mizuomi had found out.)

Moving on, it was not as though Kusanagi had accepted working on this “job”, but since it had been requested of him, he could not help but feel as though he should do something. He did not want to see Shizume City enveloped in a war because of Kurayama who would in time be disappearing from the picture either way.

Kusanagi shrugged his shoulders. If that is the alternative, then it would be best if he controlled how the situation plays out himself.

   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Looks like business is flourishing for you, Izumo.” Mizuomi said with an interested looking expression after Nagahama had left.

Kusanagi frowned.

“Oh I’m sooo happy. ’S not like I wanna be doin’ these chump change sorta things.”

Mizuomi gave a hearty laugh. Even though his nephew had gotten himself involved in something odd, he wore a pleasant smile and did not say anything.

Though he would occasionally say things as though he took his role as Kusanagi’s legal guardian seriously, most of the time, Mizuomi would leave Kusanagi to his own devices to an almost worrisome extent.

Mizuomi abruptly spoke up while he polished a glass. “You know Ikushima-san?”

“Yeah. That customer wit’ the dangerous occupation.” A man in his forties with a scar on his cheek, a regular customer of the bar. He would always order spam musubi with paired with a bourbon. Though Kusanagi privately questioned drinking bourbon while eating rice, it was a normal occurrence for Ikushima to say ‘this complex flavor’s great’ while munching on the spam musubi in a way that left it unclear to Kusanagi of whether or not the words were actually a compliment. He was gentle-mannered while he was in the bar, but even Kusanagi was aware that he was a member of the yakuza.  

“Whadda 'bout him?”

“I heard about Kurayama-kun from Ikushima-san himself when he came here the other day.”

Kusanagi made a wry face. The way Mizuomi mentioned Kurayama and referred to him as Kurayama-kun made it seem as though he were a friend of Kusanagi’s. Mizuomi paid no mind to that and carried on.

“It looks like Kurayama-kun’s becoming someone well-known among the adults of Shizume City. If he goes too far, it’ll prove dangerous for him.” Mizuomi said in a gentle tone that lacked the slightest trace of the gravity of those words.

It was just as Kusanagi had thought, Kurayama Mitsuha had already driven himself into a corner. He imagined it would not be long until he caused some trouble with the underlings to real yakuza members which would result in him receiving a harsh punishment.

Though he had not the slightest ounce of sympathy for Kurayama, he knew it would be prudent for this teen-against-teen war to be brought to an end by the teens involved before other parties intervened.  

Kusanagi finished his task at hand of peeling the skin off of broad brands and called out to Mizuomi. “I’m done fer the day.”

-♛-

Notes:

(1) It’s customary to do a quick head nod in the parody of a bow as a wordless expression of thanks for things such as getting your water refilled.

(2) Creature from an urban legend = youkai. Mythological creatures and spirits in Japanese mythology. Neither monster nor ghost felt like a good match with what Kusanagi was trying to convey here with his sarcasm, so I went with this more liberal rendering.

——————

So how I’ve been breaking the sections apart until now is how they are broken up in the book. That being said, the next section after this is 31 pages long, and for the sake of readability (and my sanity) it will be split in half.

In the meantime, I’ll be here crying over the delicious irony of a young Izumo not knowing what it’s like to want revenge for one of his group.

[mbtizone]

Ryan Atwood (The O.C.): ISTP

Dominant Introverted Thinking [Ti]: Ryan has his own internal way of thinking and he doesn’t typically share his logical conclusions with others. He is good at analyzing situations and coming up with solutions. Ryan is highly intelligent and his test scores are very high. Though he has a lot of potential, Ryan doesn’t really apply himself. He even took his SATs as a sophomore and scored in the 98th percentile. Ryan is good at noticing logical inconsistencies. A lot of the time, this can be shown with a mere facial expression, but sometimes, such as when Seth is venting to him about his personal problems, Ryan is quick to point out how Seth can fix his problems. When Ryan happens to walk in while Sandy and Kirsten are meeting with a contractor, Ryan is able to quickly determine that there are discrepancies between the floor plan and the finished product. Ryan is good with technical drawings and sketching, which eventually leads him down his architectural path.

Auxiliary Extroverted Sensing [Se]: One of Ryan’s dominant personality traits is his tendency to make impulsive choices, such as starting fights or aiding his brother in grand theft auto (which he was reluctant to go along with, but ultimately did). His short-sighted choices usually land him in hot water. Ryan tends to live in the present. He’s aware that his actions have consequences, but usually, he makes the choice that will get him into trouble anyway. Ryan is street smart and has a good sense of his environment. He’s very physical and can become violent quickly. Ryan is tough with a short temper, but as he adapts to Orange County and the Cohens, learns to try to resolve disputes in other ways before resorting to fighting. Ryan is athletic, and played both soccer and football prior to moving to Orange County.

Tertiary Introverted Intuition [Ni]: Sometimes, Ryan has really good intuition and he follows his hunches. He knows something is off about Oliver, and so, he trusts his instincts and is eventually proven correct. Ryan’s goals aren’t really long-term. He knows that he wants to have a better life than he did at home with his mom, and doesn’t want to mess that up by ruining things with Sandy and Kirsten, though he sometimes falters in the heat of the moment. With some nudging from a counselor, Ryan eventually decides that he’d like to be an architect, and goes to school to make that dream a reality. While Ryan’s instincts are usually good, they can sometimes lead him to incorrect assumptions. While he’s in Florida, he can tell that something happened between Marissa and Trey, but believes that she cheated on him with his brother, and doesn’t guess that Trey assaulted her. Because she doesn’t tell him what actually happened, Ryan confronts Trey, who says that Marissa was the one who made a move. Though Ryan isn’t sure what to believe at first, it’s Theresa who convinces him that Marissa is worthy of his trust, not Trey.

Inferior Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: Ryan doesn’t like to talk about his feelings. He usually keeps things bottled up, but will open up on rare occasions. Ryan cares a lot about the people in his life and is extremely protective of them. Even though he barely knows Kirsten and she is judgmental of him, he defends her honor when an inmate is inappropriate with her in juvie. He protects Seth when the water polo players harass him. He saves Marissa on multiple occasions and helps Theresa when she’s in need. Ryan has a bit of a savior complex, and always seems to be rescuing someone (particularly his love interests), which he usually does at his own personal expense. Because he grew up in an unhealthy, abusive environment, Ryan has trouble trusting people and letting them get close to him. However, Ryan is extremely loyal to his loved ones, and will sacrifice a lot for them. Even though Ryan doesn’t know for certain if Theresa’s baby is his, he returns to Chino, leaving behind his life in Newport, in order to help her raise the child. When Kirsten is struggling with alcoholism, he is able to vocalize his feelings about not wanting to see someone else he loves go down the same path as his mother.

Quotes:

Marissa: So, what are you doing here, seriously? Ryan: Seriously? I stole a car. Crashed it. Actually, my brother did. Since he had a gun and drugs on him, he’s in jail. I got out, and my mom threw me out. She was pissed off and drunk. So, Mr. Cohen took me in.

Sandy: Your test scores? 98th percentile on your SAT1’s. Ryan, 98th percentile, you start going to class. Are you thinking about college? [Ryan scoffs] Sandy: Have you given any thought to your future? Dude, I’m on your side. Come on, help me out here… Ryan: -Modern medicine is advancing to the point where the average human life span will be 100. But I read this article which said Social Security is supposed to run out by the year 2025, which means people are going to have to stay at their jobs until they’re 80. So I don’t want to commit to anything too soon. [Sandy chuckles] Sandy: Look, I can plead this down to a misdemeanor. Petty fine, probation. But know this, “stealing a car cause you’re big brother told you to,” it’s stupid and it’s weak and those are two things you can’t afford to be anymore. Ryan: Two more things. Sandy: You wanna change that? Then, you’re gonna have to get over the fact that life dealt you a bad hand. I get it, we’re cut from the same deck, Ryan. I grew up, no money, bad part of the Bronx, my father was gone, my mother worked all the time… I was pissed off, I was stupid. Ryan: Look at you now. Sandy: Smart kid like you. You gotta have a plan. Some kind of dream. Ryan: Yeah… right. Let me tell you something, okay? Where I’m from, having a dream doesn’t make you smart. Knowing it won’t come true? That does.

Ryan: [laughs insincerely] You know what I like about rich kids? [punches Luke] Ryan: Nothing! Seth: That was awesome!

Ryan: I’m not too popular around here, and your boyfriend – a little bit angry. Marissa: You’re telling me you didn’t try to hit him back? Ryan: Actually, I hit him first. Marissa: Well, hard to believe you’re not more popular.

Seth: Are you just not going to go ’cause you’re afraid of Luke? Ryan: That’s not what I’m afraid of. Look, your parents taking me in, that’s, like, the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m not going to lose it just to kick some guy’s ass. Seth: But you could totally kick his ass, right? Ryan: Oh, yeah.

Ryan: I used to want to be an architect. Kirsten: And what do you want to be now? Ryan: Seventeen. Kirsten: Me too.

Kirsten:: I couldn’t help notice that you wanted to talk to Seth. Ryan: Oh, did I? Kirsten:: Well, since he’s out of town and he’s going to be moving out next semester, you’re going to need a new Seth. Don’t tell Sandy, but I thought I would audition for the job. Ryan: Oh, yeah, that’s very thoughtful. Kirsten:: So, how does it work? Do I ask you what’s on your mind? Ryan: Eh, usually you talk about yourself, and I solve my problems on my own.

Sandy: You’re not having breakfast with us? Ryan: I’m not hungry. What do you want? Sandy: Dr. Kim just called to let us know that you’ve been suspended indefinitely pending a disciplinary action if the school board will vote to expel you. Ryan: I know you want me to apologize, but I’m not. Oliver told me right to my face that he wanted me gone so he could get to have Marissa all to himself. Sandy: Then why would he drop the assault charges against you? Ryan: He did that? Sandy: Yeah, he did. It seems to me that if he had it out for you, he would have had you gone and you’d be back in juvi hall by now. You know that. Come on, help me out. Tell me what’s going on with you. Ryan: Oliver is dangerous. He’s a sociopath who provoked me into attacking him so he could come off as the poor, innocent victim before Marissa and everyone else. He’s so charming and charismatic that no one can see the person for what he really is. Sandy: No, this is how I see it. YOU attacked HIM… unprovoked… in full view of witnesses at your school because you’re jealous about him being around Marissa. You’re on probation and you knew that the slightest infraction would land you back in juvenile hall and maybe lead to you being taken away from us, but you did it anyway. For the life of me, I can’t understand why you would do that. Talk to me. Tell me what’s really going on with you. Talk to me. Why did you really attack Oliver? Ryan: What’s the point? Oliver was right. You’re not gonna believe me anyway. You and everyone else believes him over me. Sandy: It’s not what I believe. I wish it was. It’s about what you did! The next time you think about raising your fists to someone you don’t like, you’d better instead open your mouth and talk! I’m here for that now. What is really going on with you? What am I gonna do with you? I can’t ground you or chain you to a wall. There’s the door. You want to go after that poor Oliver kid? Go ahead. But if you want to stay, if you want to be a part of this family, you are NOT going to go anywhere, you’re not gonna see anyone or talk to anyone unless Kristen and I say it’s okay. That’s the deal. Take it or leave it.

Marissa: I love you. Ryan: Thank you. Marissa: You’re welcome?

Taylor: Why couldn’t you just have had faith in us? Ryan: I don’t know. I guess maybe I thought we were too different. Taylor: Maybe you were right. Ryan: No, no, I wasn’t. And I realize now that how we feel is much more important than what we have to talk about. Taylor: And how do you feel? Ryan: I… Taylor: That stuffed animal you bought me is much more expressive, Ryan. Henri-Michel is reading a poem that he wrote for me at the bookstore tonight. It’s a love poem, Ryan, and It’s long.

Kirsten: We’ve all talked about it. And we want to be your legal guardians. We want you to be part of the family. If you want to be. Ryan: What if it doesn’t work? Kirsten:Well how do you mean? Ryan: Well what if something happens and you guys change your mind? Sandy: Like what? You steal a car? You burn down a house? You beat up the captain of the water polo team? Those ships have sailed, my friend.

Kirsten:: Don’t you say a word, I let you into this house. Ryan: Yeah you did, because my own mom couldn’t take care of me. Because she wouldn’t get help even though I asked her to. I don’t want to see that happen again to someone I love.

Kirsten: We’ve all talked about it. And we want to be your legal guardians. We want you to be part of the family. If you want to be. Ryan: What if it doesn’t work? Kirsten:Well how do you mean? Ryan: Well what if something happens and you guys change your mind? Sandy: Like what? You steal a car? You burn down a house? You beat up the captain of the water polo team? Those ships have sailed, my friend.

Sandy: I’ve never heard you talk so much. Ryan: I like to save it for when it counts. Sandy: Good. So I heard about what happened with your test today. Or what didn’t happen. You’re suddenly not so talkative. Look I get it. Marissa needed help, you were worried about her. Believe me, I understand. I’m worried about you. Ryan: I know. I’m okay with going to public school. It’d be a hell of a lot better than where I went. Sandy: Go to Dr. Kim and explain yourself. Ryan: I don’t think she wants to hear from me. Ever again. Sandy: You’re afraid of her. You, who went toe-to-toe with Julie Cooper, the Dragon Lady. You can take Dr. Kim. Talk to her. If there’s a problem, you’ll have your attorney present. I got your back.

Ryan: Marissa, this event is important. And… on a yacht. And whenever I go to one of these things somebody gets into a fight.

Ryan Atwood (The O.C.): ISTP was originally published on MBTI Zone

[mbtizone]

Sandy Cohen (The O.C.): ENFJ

Dominant Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: Sandy is a giver who is highly attuned to the emotions of the people around him. His career is about helping people. As a public defender, Sandy isn’t in it for the money. He opens his home and heart to a young boy in need. He sees potential in Ryan and invests in him. Sandy is extremely moral, while remaining mostly non-judgmental and refuses to give up on people. He’s loving, affectionate, and caring. He doesn’t mind being the center of attention and enjoys getting up on stage and performing. He’s good at making other people feel welcome and at ease in his company. Sandy is charming and people instantly feel comfortable in his presence. He is diplomatic and good at mediating, compromising, and reaching a resolution. Sandy has a lot of compassion and doesn’t turn away people who are in need. He is fiercely protective of people and defensive of Ryan because of the intense scrutiny he faces from Newport society. Sandy is supportive and encouraging. He believes in getting through obstacles together and being there for the people in his life no matter what.

Auxiliary Introverted Intuition [Ni]: It’s easy for Sandy to sense what’s really going on in a situation. He doesn’t strain himself to connect dots and often figures things out before other people do due to his keen intuition. He has an understanding of how situations are likely to unfold. Sandy is future-focused and good at keeping the big picture in mind. He has a lot of insight about people and is typically good at sensing their true motivations. He encourages Ryan to think about his future and where his life is going. He sees beyond the present moment and wants others to do the same. Sandy knows that Caleb is hiding something and becomes determined to figure out what’s going on with him and he correctly figures out that Caleb has an illegitimate child. He can see through Caleb and knows that his interest isn’t in protecting Lindsay, but in saving his own skin.

Tertiary Extroverted Sensing [Se]: Sandy tends to look down on people who are shallow and superficial. He prides himself on not being taken in by the finer things in life, but he does enjoy them, even though he doesn’t always admit it. When he’s roped into running the “O.C. Pseudo-Charity Non-Yard sale” he initially mocks the entire event, but eventually gets sucked into it. He criticizes one of the Newpsies choices in napkin rings and becomes very particular about the way he wants everything to look. Sandy enjoys sensory pleasures – he always meets with the private law firm because they always attempt to woo him through a free meal. He’s a gifted singer and a natural performer. Sandy enjoys surfing and spends a lot of his spare time out in the ocean. Sandy doesn’t mind taking a risk every now and then, especially when it’s brought on by his Fe need to help others (such as taking in Ryan and Trey).

Inferior Introverted Thinking [Ti]: Sometimes, Sandy can be so blinded by his belief in second chances, forgiveness, and charity that he can put aside his internal logic about situations. He understands that things might go sideways, but his need to fix people causes him to ignore it, which can sometimes land him in sticky situations (opening the restaurant with Jimmy, taking Trey in). Sandy has a strong sense of irony and notices inconsistencies, which he often uses in his sense of humor. He’s extremely witty and always sees the humor in everything. He knows how to argue while remaining sensitive to the feelings of other people. When he’s making a point, he is typically far from detached. He can be good at analyzing problems and trying to come up with solutions, but does so in a group-minded, inclusive sort of way (Fe-Ti).

Enneagram: 1w9 2w1 7w6 So/Sx

Quotes:

Sandy: If things get messy, we’ll clean ’em up together.

Kirsten: [about the Newport Group] It’s time to let it go. Sandy: I’ll handle everything.

Sandy: I thought you’d be at the carnival. Ryan: It didn’t really work out. Sandy: I guess Marissa’s expulsion hasn’t really been easy on your two. Ryan: I just wish there was something I could do. Sandy: So you want to fix this. The universal male instinct. Happens to the best of us. Ryan: So what, I’m supposed to just sit here and do nothing? Sandy: No. You need to go back. And just listen. Ryan: Just listen? Sandy: Trust me. It works better than you think.

Kirsten: I know Trey is the only family that Ryan has and I do think that we should help him— Sandy: But you’re scared I’ll want to adopt him.

Seth: He surfs, he sings, he practically fights crime. Maybe Sandy Cohen could be our action hero. Sandy: Just say the word, son.

Sandy: Joanne. Tell me you didn’t order those napkin rings? This is not a mob wedding. Joanne: Gosh, Sandy, I thought they were kind of fun. Sandy: No.

Sandy: So Kirsten and I went to Child Services this morning and we told them that we want you to stay with us. But there’s a catch. Because you’re a minor, the only way they’re gonna allow that to happen is if we assume all legal responsibility for you. Ryan: I can’t ask you guys to do that. Sandy: You don’t have to. We’re asking you. Kirsten: We’ve all talked about it. And we want to be your legal guardians. We want you to be part of the family. If you want to be. Ryan: What if it doesn’t work? Kirsten: Well how do you mean? Ryan: Well what if something happens and you guys change your mind? Sandy: Like what? You steal a car? You burn down a house? You beat up the captain of the water polo team? Those ships have sailed, my friend.

Seth: I’m not talking about this anymore. Sandy: No, of course you’re not talking about it. No one’s talking to me about anything lately. If you want to go and flirt with Summer, go ahead. Seth: Why are we still talking about this? Sandy: Because I’m your father and I’m responsible for you. And if I see something’s going on with you we are going to talk about it. Seth: Do you think this is about me, or could this be about Ryan? Sandy: No. It’s about you. Seth: Okay. But just in case it’s a little bit about Ryan, I think he’ll come to you when he’s ready.

Sandy: Where’re you going? Ryan: I think Marissa’s in trouble, I’m just going to make sure she’s okay. Sandy: Give me the keys. Ryan: I have to go, okay. Sandy: Give me the keys. Ryan: You said if I needed your help, I could come to you. Sandy: Give me the keys… I’ll drive.

Sandy: You think you can mess up so bad we just give up on you? You can’t. You are part of this family now, you’re gonna feel the full weight of that. You’ll wish we threw you out.

Seth: What? What’d I do? Sandy: You hurt that poor girl’s feelings out there. Seth: Who, Dad? Summer? Sandy: No, no. Anna. Seth: I didn’t say a word to Anna. Sandy: Exactly.

Kirsten: Sometimes you make it hard to hate you. Sandy: I know! It’s all, it’s part of my charm. Kirsten: Sometimes you make it easy.

Sandy: You did musicals? I did a musical myself in college. Kirsten: Oh, please, someone stop him before he starts singing “Greased Lightning.” Seth: Do it, Dad! Travolta’s your bitch!

Sandy: Do you want to know what I think? Ryan: You’re going to tell me either way, right? Sandy: Like my own son.

Ryan: Guess I don’t really fit in, huh? Sandy: Oh, I got news for you. Nobody does. I guarantee you every single person at that cotillion feels like a fraud. They’ve all got secrets and they’re all terrified the guy next door is going to find them out. Ryan: What’s your secret? Sandy: Sometimes, when the sun’s coming up, and the surf is good… and I haven’t pissed my wife off quite as much as I have today… I kinda like this place.

Sandy: Listen I was thinking. How would you like some free legal advice? Jimmy: You wanna be my lawyer? How long do you want to send me away for? Sandy: I got way too big an ego for that. Jimmy: Yeah, well. That’s true. Sandy: No, I wouldn’t be representing you. I’ve got a friend who’s a securities attorney. But I could help you put together a case. Jimmy: Why would you do that? You don’t even like me. Sandy: Well I’m a public defender. I represent a lot of people I don’t like.

Sandy: Have you given any thought at all to your future? Dude, I’m on your side. C’mon, help me out here. This— Ryan: Modern medicine is advancing to the point where the average human life span will be a hundred. But I read this article which said Social Security is supposed to run out by the year 2025. Which means people are going to have to stay in their jobs until they’re 80. So I don’t want to commit to anything too soon.

Sandy: When did you become so cynical? Kirsten: When did you become so self-righteous? Sandy: I’ve always been self-righteous. You used to find it charming.

Seth: Check you out. Big pimpin’. Sandy: Well, I’ve got a meeting with a private law firm. Ryan: What, are you suing one of their clients? Sandy: It’s a job interview. Kirsten: Which he’ll never take. They like to flatter him every once in awhile. Sandy: Yeah, I go for the free meal. Ryan: But, I mean, you’re still gonna be a public defender, right? Kirsten: After 15 years? There’s no way he’s selling out. Sandy: Well, it’d have to be one hell of a free meal. Seth: And that’s what they call a callback in comedy, Ryan.

Kirsten: Sandy, you’re not seriously thinking about taking this job, are you? Sandy: The salary they offered me, it’s outrageous. Kirsten: Since when have you ever been swayed by a paycheck? This family has all the money it needs. Sandy: Yeah, except of course it’s your money. Kirsten: It’s our money. Sandy: No, not really.

Sandy: I’ve never heard you talk so much. Ryan: I like to save it for when it counts. Sandy: Good. So I heard about what happened with your test today. Or what didn’t happen. You’re suddenly not so talkative. Look I get it. Marissa needed help, you were worried about her. Believe me, I understand. I’m worried about you. Ryan: I know. I’m okay with going to public school. It’d be a hell of a lot better than where I went. Sandy: Go to Dr. Kim and explain yourself. Ryan: I don’t think she wants to hear from me. Ever again. Sandy: You’re afraid of her. You, who went toe-to-toe with Julie Cooper, the Dragon Lady. You can take Dr. Kim. Talk to her. If there’s a problem, you’ll have your attorney present. I got your back.

Kirsten: I told you that I didn’t want you to get involved. Sandy: I will always do what’s best for my family. Kirsten: I would rather go to jail than be responsible for you being mixed up in this— getting into bed with my father. Sandy: I promise you, I’d rather send you to jail that get in bed with your father.

Sandy: What could he possibly have done that he’d rather go to jail than admit to? Unless, life with Julie Cooper is tougher than we thought.

Sandy: It’s ironic. Julie leaves Jimmy, marries you, now he’s worth millions. And you’re gonna be broke. Caleb: I don’t believe in irony. Sandy: Well that’s too bad. Because, well it might be just the thing to get you through this.

Sandy: Even if you were having an affair with this woman, sixteen years is an awfully long time to be paying someone palimony. Unless there was a child. Caleb: That is the most preposterous— Sandy: Was there a child?

Sandy: Spare me. You’re not trying to protect Lindsay, you’re trying to protect yourself. Because you know once you come clean you’re gonna get what’s coming to you. But facing Kirsten and Julie has got to be better than going to jail. Caleb: Kirsten maybe. Not Julie. Sandy: Well this is it. I’m done. And so are you. Happy Holidays.

Kirsten: Not you. You wouldn’t forbid them anything. You’re too busy being their best friend. I’m the one that has to enforce all the rules. Sandy: I’ve never done more grounding than I have in the last twenty-four hours! Kirsten: Who let Seth run away to Portland? Sandy: What, we’re talking about this now? Kirsten: You went up there and told him he could stay. Sandy: It’s a good thing I did! If I let you drag him home we could have lost him forever. Kirsten: But that’s why this is happening! Because he thinks he can do whatever he wants and you’ll just keep me from coming down on him. Sandy: You think somebody can stop you from coming down on somebody? Kirsten: Right. And I should find it adorable that you forgot our anniversary!

Sandy: What Kirsten needs right now is a little support. If you can’t give her that, then show yourself out. Caleb: I see you’re employing your usual soft ball approach. That might be appropriate when your son runs off to Portland, but this is a tad more serious.

Kirsten: Seth got into a fight. Sandy: He did? Kirsten: This is what happens when you let someone like this into our house. When you let our son hang out with criminals. Sandy: At least he has someone to hang out with. Don’t salt his game, honey. Kirsten: What the hell does that mean? Sandy: It— I don’t know. I just know that I’d rather have Seth hanging out with Ryan than some trust fund kid from around here who only cares about getting a new Beemer every year. There’s a whole world outside this Newport Beach bubble. Kirsten: You don’t seem to mind living in this bubble. Sandy: I know there’s something else out there. You remember when we were 22? What’d you say? You said you’d never be like your parents. You’d never have their life. Kirsten: I was 22. I stank of patchouli and I lived in the back of a mail truck. Sandy: And you were fun. And rebellious. And… you married me. Kirsten: I can’t. I’m sorry. I don’t want this kid in my house anymore. Sandy: Where’s he supposed to go? Kirsten: He has a family, Sandy. It’s not up to you to decide whether they’re good enough.

Kirsten: What is it about this kid? Sandy: I thought I could help him, make a difference. I was this kid. If someone hadn’t helped me… I wouldn’t be here.

Sandy: Well. I should be off. Gotta find the next kid to jeopardize the community. Maybe a black kid. Or an Asian kid.

Sandy: Look, kid, we can’t force you to stay. But this is your home now. And the door’s always open.

Ryan: What happens on vacations? Do I stay in the poolhouse? Sandy: No matter where you go, this will always be your home.

Sandy: As of today we may no longer be your legal guardians, but you will always be part of this family.

Seth: Ugh. Get a room. Sandy: Hey, count your blessings. Kids with affectionate parents grow up to be better adjusted sexually as adults.

Sandy: I know the last few years have been a roller coaster. There’s been tragedy and comedy. And first loves, broken hearts. Family members we’ve lost and found. It hasn’t all been perfect, but we’re all a family here. So cheers.

Jason Spitz: Look, if you came to haggle me on the Ramirez plea, forget about it. I’m up to my ass in unhappy ADAs. Sandy: No, I’m just passing through. Jason Spitz: What, you’ve come to admire the wainscotting? Sandy: This is my old office. Jason Spitz: You’re Sandy Cohen? Sandy: My reputation precedes me? Jason Spitz: Well, self-righteous, arrogant and a little nutso? Sandy: I see that it does. Jason Spitz: Jason Spitz. Sandy: Nice to meet you. Jason Spitz: Nice to meet you. You’re a legend. Not to mention I heard about your post-victory karaoke bar performances. Sandy: Defend the poor, sing the classics. I had a reputation and a routine.

Ryan: Seth set me up. Kirsten: He called. He was worried. Sandy: C’mon, let’s go home. Ryan: Why? So we can pretend like everything’s the way it used to be? Sandy: We all miss her. It’s never going to be like the way that it used to be. But we are still a family. Ryan: You don’t understand—he’s here. Seth: No. He’s gone.

Sandy: You know at the risk of saying too much, being there with her when it happened… You’re never going to get over it, but you’ll get used to it. Just let yourself feel what you need to feel, even if it hurts.

Sandy: Summer! How’re you doing? Summer: Better than the 2.8 billion people living below the poverty level. Are you okay with that statistic, Mr. Cohen? I don’t think so. That’s why I have to go. Sandy: Who knew out of all you kids she’d turn out to be the young Sandy Cohen. Seth: Had to rub off on someone.

Julie: Hi. Sandy: Julie, whatever it is, it’ll have to wait. We’re having Thanksgiving. Julie: I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. Sandy: I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that before. Julie: I don’t think I’ve ever meant it. Sandy: Well. Come on in.

Ryan: You talked to him today? Sandy: We met, yeah. Ryan: I always knew one day he’d be out. Sandy: He’s out. Ryan: Yeah. Weird. And I know I’m supposed to have a lot of questions but… it’s like my dad’s from another life, it’s so far in the past. Sandy: If that’s how you want to keep it, it’s fine with me. Ryan: No speech about the importance of family? Sandy: You’re my family. What’s important to me is you. Ryan: I don’t want to see him. Maybe later, not now. Sandy: Then that’s what I’ll tell him.

Sandy: How far did you go? Ryan: Mm. Nine, ten miles. Sandy: Oh. It would have just been easier if you’d said, “Sandy, there’s something bothering me. Could you give me some advice?”. Ryan: Yes it would, but where’s the fun in that?

Sandy Cohen (The O.C.): ENFJ was originally published on MBTI Zone