#I don’t think that it is so much that jobless people are lazy

[alien-insomniac-05]

Bitches be like “go get a job” or “welcome to adulthood, now suck it up” but don’t realize that jobs are underpaying hells that overwork the fuck outta you, this is especially the case for autistic people. I don’t care if “everyone’s gotta do it”, it’s still a hell lol

I don’t wanna career I just want enough money to pursue hobbies and shit meanwhile most jobs now in days won’t day you a livable wage and require 1000000000 years of experience.

“Oh you have a bachelors degree you paid 5 figures for? Too bad. Go get a specialization in something or go work in McDonald’s LOL”

[zzencat]

Their Sexual Tendencies + Traits? (NSFW) - Timeless ⏳

Simply choose from left to right.

(Minors DNI) Nice and simple. What would happen if you got involved? Their tendencies in bed? Intimate behavior? Maybe it’s the one you’ve been ignoring. How about the one you’re with? A future partner? What goes on in their head at night when you’re all they can think about? And if more unfolds? Very TMI. Includes sexual, graphic descriptions and toxic traits.

Must do before you choose: Clear your mind. Time is now patient and still. Close your eyes, inhale deeply, fill your chest up to the fullest, feel the soft air brush up against the ridges of your nose. Breathe out. You may now begin.

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Pile 1. “I was a bad girl. I did some bad things.” - Jojo Siwa (lmfaooo)

•right of the bat, “karma” from Jojo siwa played

•I get brat vibes from this pile…are you a brat? lmfao cuz your person’s gonna like that for sure

•or maybe you try to hard to be a brat or appear/act like one? Your person loves it regardless

•this person loves dominating, but they can get just as enthusiastic as a sub. The instant switch and role change is actually pretty impressive, since they do it effortlessly

• I get the vibe they do or will do most of the topping work tho. They can have their lazy days, sure, but they like moving

•dare I say this person is the kinkiest out of the three piles

•^^ we’re talking bondage, role play, slapping(? Damn), everything and all over the above—receiving or giving, they can do it all. Fast raw sex and quickies are hot to them esp

• if you’re poly, this person is okay with that. If you’re not, they’re also okay. they just wanna have sex, end of story 🧌

• is down to literally do it anywhere and everywhere

• if this relationship started off as some kind of fwb or anything with benefits, I wouldn’t be surprised

• if you guys are both in a committed relationship, make sure you try to match their energy in bringing new things to the bedroom

• these people are shower masturbators—the sex drive is actually crazy like- slow your horse for just a second damn

•^^ they don’t even have time to masturbate if you’re with each other all the time. I got the image of a couple going on a trip and they’re in a hotel…yk what comes next. If you live together, cue some jungkook music. There’s no makin it out

• if you’re not together due to long distance stuff, a lot of cam/phone sex. It happens so much that you think they’re jobless (and they could be tbh. Tell em to get a job!!!)

• this person gives me the vibe that they’re not really in an occupation that demands much. It feels like a very lax, low demand and energy job OR they’re a model for something and they make money through content like that

• this person is reallllly good looking tho. It’s how they can get away with a lot of things

• their maturity level is kinda questionable I wont lie…I think you need to teach them some boundaries

• they could take a while to see their faults? Maybe they don’t wanna see or they’re too oooh la la in the sky

• can come off as quite careless. Can even be clingy

• also very prone to peer pressure or self-sabotaging behavior

•avoids conflict like the plague

• open to all body types as long as your face is cute. I think they likely prefer people who don’t look like they’re freaks in the sheets ykwim? The duality is prob what gets em going. But then again, I think anything gets them going. This person is a true horndog of nature

• (I, personally, as Teddy, the reader, feel like I should include why they’re like this—craving physical intimacy so much, but there’s this brushing off/dismissive energy like “forget it they don’t need to know- let’s just have fun and shiii”)

•^^ (if I rephrase what I wanted to include, it might be better. They prob grew up with a lot of siblings/other kids, and not enough love to go around, so they were overlooked, OR no-to-low amount of siblings but not enough physical and emotional intimacy and connection from parents/guardians, so they looked towards external sources.)

• doesn’t have too many expectations tbh (idk if that’s a bad or a good thing, but the root of it is that they don’t wanna pressure people to stay with them or force people into commitment)

• ^^if they fall in love with you and yall date, and you leave one day, it’ll hurt so much that they’ll revert back to the thinking of why commitment didn’t always work for them

•childhood couldn’t show them what true commitment was so if you actually express that you want to be with them exclusively, they’ll be so shocked, to say the least. Like “me? Why me? I’m not anything special, lmfao” . They’re laughing it off and will feel nervous so they’ll cover it up by drinking smth (water or anything), but they’re so used to the sentiment of being “nothing special” that they’re numb to it

• ^^ but if they end up falling in love with you (beware of their nonstop horse sex drive), they’ll be a lot more reserved and laid back than before

• they’ll prob be lazier tho ngl. They’ll take days off work just to have sex with you all day

• they make up for this uselessness feeling through sexual activities

• they think like “why touch yourself alone when I’m right here?”

• when they do masturbate tho, they think about you and your body shifting back and forth against the bed. They’re pretty quick tho when it comes to masturbation—I’m guessing bc of impatience and not being able to hold back. They only last long when it comes to sex with a partner

• the body worship is real nice

• most of the sexual activities have one thing in common though, and that’s the closeness of both of your skins. This person kisses your skin so much during sex, and really anytime, feel you up whenever they can. The touchiness is all the time and it’s sweet, but it can always lead to something else

• in this pile, lies a very rare breed. a handful, and really not a lot, will encounter the rare breed partner that also has this high of a sex drive, is confident, has a regular day job, prob tall and slim, is responsible and committed only to you, and will be on board 100% if you ever want to engage in exhibitionist/voyeur activities—extreme (like streaming your intimate moments or camming together)

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Pile 2. *Growling noises.*

• the thing is…you’re just existing 😭

• you don’t do much to piss this person off (most of the time). Some light jokes and messing around here and there but you’re pretty much chillin. (ESPECIALLY when you’re not dating, this bullet point and the previous be the vibe.)

• this person wants you like a predator wants prey, basically. It feels weird to say it ngl, but it’s a very obviously fire energy? Like Leo smth…or a very capable and sadistic Scorpio? They have this dark and mysterious look. Very intimidating, but you prob don’t give this person your time of day—either you don’t care, think it’s weird, or maybe you’re just playing a little hard to get

•^^whatever this person thinks you’re doing, purposely or not, they find it intriguing and you have to be theirs

• this person tho? pile 1 has nothing on this person. My bad, not person—beast.

• very dominant person and very much shows it if you’re exclusively dating each other or in a higher relationship

• they could use some work on their control issues tho. IMPORTANT!!!: this person would NEVER put their hands on you to hurt you out of anger or violent means. No abuse in their household, no, no. (In bed, it’s different but only if you consent)

•^^ regarding the control issues, make sure they’re not obsessed with you bc you’re hard to control. At your highest energy, this pile has a very independent, do-what-I-want energy. You don’t give two shits abt what others think- you dress, look, and act the way you want. You stand up to them when no one has the balls to do it

• very much BDSM. It could get a little tiring—not the person!! The person has hella games and tricks up their sleeve when it comes to bdsm and freaky shit. Tiring in the sense that it just stays in the BDSM realm like dude…break out of it cmon. It’s time to experiment with different menus, not recipes.

• commander type. also choking. this person likes choking. Choking you AND being choked, but they wouldn’t bring up the latter if you never mention it.

• has a LOT of self control…until they don’t. But I think this person loses it very easily bc of their partner—like you needa be punished asap type feel.

• getting off is normal for them, but when they have a partner, most of the time they save it until sex. but if not and you’re not around, they’re gonna go at it, thinking how you should be there, imagining how good you look with your mouth on their parts while you look up at them, praising you about how good you’re doing.

• this person isn’t really simple with masturbation either. If they simply lay down and or sit on their bed and touch themselves, it wouldn’t be as satisfying so they have to go again, preferably touching themselves in a different place—depends on what mood they’re in, they’ll choose a risky, likely-to-get-caught kinda place or a place outside their room, but private.

• wow, verrrry possessive person. Marking you up 😫 In the morning, if you need to go somewhere, they’ll be like “Don’t try to cover it up.”

• This person could be some sort of player? Regardless of who they are, they just have a lot of pent up energy they need to get out of. They def have experience

•honestly, pile 2, this person can get really damn intense. If you can’t handle their heat, it’s okay to get outta the kitchen cuz they’re the ones turning it up and have also broken the ac 😭 the sex is crazy good, but it will take this person a bit of time to actually fall in love with you. Cuz you’re so different from everyone they’ve seen so they’re unsure…weirded out…interested.

• if you somehow get in bed with this person, you’re in for a ride (literally.) after this experience, this person will deadass replay it everywhere, every day, all the time. It becomes an obsession with them (which may or may not be a good thing for you.)

• this person is going to be in your life for a whiiiiile. You might even roll your eyes and be like “whyyy”

• this is the most obvious enemies to lovers trope pile, but it starts smth like that OR you just get annoyed that everyone wants this person and to you, they’re just hot and nothing much.

• it gets wilder— this person WILL try to make you jealous. Shamelessly. (Ick)

• they’d like to receive some mouth-work from you if ya get my vibe. (Which is unfair bc they’re kinda selfish when it comes to receiving pleasure.) if they give it, they give it THEIR way

• ^ you have to put them in their place and show them you’re not someone to be fucked with. The worst thing you could do is leave their life entirely. Even pissing you off gives them something.

• if you’re sick of their shit, they might even let you have a chance of taking it out on them and having your way for once (BUT just so you know, if you do, they’ll take it as you surrendering to them. Like you finally have a weakness or manipulation point.)

• HOWEVER, this person, although very fucking stubborn, is willing to make any and all changes for you. IT WILL TAKE TIME. And only if you’re in love with each other. Maybe they were trying to find someone that was worth their time and more than just looks.

• I will say tho, if you get into an actual committed relationship with this person, the upbringing of this relationship looks pretty toxic. Like the crazy need for control and the unwarranted possessiveness (on their side), especially at points when you’re not dating each other. If you don’t set their shit straight, you’ll fall into the trap and could get a broken heart out of it

• ^^ on the bright side, this encounter/relationship with them will bring you so much personal growth. If you make it out of this relationship in one piece, you’re actually indestructible. And if they’re really willing to change—I suggest noting down their BIG, grandiose sacrifices for you that puts them at some risk—then there’s also a big chance you could have a harmonious and balanced connection

• ^^ why? Bc they know that you’re not superficial and you have substance to you, and they want that. Be wary tho, this person isn’t stupid and knows what strings to pull

• this person could have a tan tint to their skin or brown hair

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Pile 3. “Please let me in...”

• this pile’s energy seems a little closed off. not from your person but from you. I’m feeling indifference, constant wariness, but regardless, there’s always a wall

• you’re prob an introvert and has gotten hurt in the past really, REALLY badly, so you’ve been closing your heart off. There’s a piece of you that still wants to find love, hence your presence here, but you act like you don’t or you don’t show that you are interested in wanting it.

• if you’re an extrovert, however? You may not be TOO keen on sharing things about your life. Open to it, sure…but still somewhat selective

• you would sacrifice everything for the person you love, not that you would willingly admit this verbally. If you have, good for you!! You’re the muse baby

• your person is more likely an extrovert and has tried or IS planning to try to get closer to you/get to know you more. They KNOW you are more than what you show on the surface. They’re the only ones who can see the gems behind the rockiness you show

• they’re a virgin or inexperienced

•^^ I don’t think most of the people who chose this pile mind too much, honestly. There’s a bit of a corruption kink rearing its head in here…not super apparent but it be lurkin in da shadows

• oh they’re a switch hahaha. You can just push em on the bed and they’ll let you do whatever you want to them. They’re not complaining at all tho—just lock in on your target and DESTROYYYY 😈😈

• almost a puppy like energy to them—ALMOST. Almost. Bc they have leader vibes but a nice leader. Maybe not respectable by all…but most. Like one who seeks the best for the team but bc they’re not “alpha” or aggressive enough, it can be tough to get people to take things seriously. But eventually people do. Maybe even out of pity.

• I get the feeling this person had to be very in tune with their parents’/guardians’ feelings (I’m getting anxiety or just freaking out over messes and stuff) — maybe they’ve also grown with grandparents? Or have had the presence of their grandparents be very significant in their lives?

•^ bc of this they will most likely be vanilla in bed. I don’t even think they’ll lust after you for a while man I mean, outta respect yk? And also bc it doesn’t feel right to them. It’s not the first thing or one of the first things that come into their mind when they think about you

• ^^ you basically have to tell them what to do, what they can and cannot do too. They’ve had to be so involved in taking care of everybody with an undying kindness to them that they don’t really know where boundaries begin. They’d never wanna break your boundaries

• ok this does not mean that your person is a nice white male, btw!! I keep seeing a salesman, wearing a baby blue button up and khakis, brown hair…this person seems so average? — this could mean that they’re doing everything they can to make others happy and totally not paying attention to their own. I’m not sure if you’ll ever see this person cry in public, but if you make them cry in bed? Hey, go for it muahahah

• it will prob take a while to get them to be comfortable with thinking about you sexually. If they have to relieve themselves, they try to channel this energy into workouts or something physical that gets their mind off of you in that way. Inevitably, the idea of you in bed will pop up, but they’ll shake it off. It’s not even holding back—they just don’t wanna “disrespect” you and see you as an object (but like I said, if you want them to treat you like one in bed or smth, you have to let them know and say it with a lot of conviction. This person is very mentally bullheaded so it’s hard to break into them like that)

•I think they let a lot of things happen bc they’re that empathetic, or they just don’t have the energy for the chase. Like think little kid stealing from a shop, they’ll prob be like “hey kid- ah…” *sighs and scratches back of head as they watch the kid run away with said items*

• if you’re not interested in this person or blatantly ignoring them, they’ll really try to get you (but in a nonstalker-ish way) which is good!! They just want your attention really. They’re pretty much awestruck by you, ESPECIALLY if you ever go to an event and they see you all cleaned up and dressed, they’ll check you out and zone out mid convo I swear. You actually render them speechless.

• (now…we get to some of the graphics.) This person is not a serial masturbator, I will say. Once a day, max. If you’ll allow them, they would do more. They could honestly go all day if you made them. If this person works in an office and you make them soooooo desperate, they would hide somewhere, perhaps an empty room and just start finding heaven. Very quickly too. Quickly and (trying to be) quiet. They’re pretty on top of things and responsible, but if you just tell em what to do, it will be done. They even clean after their mess too (if they do it in public? Cleaning up fast due to freaking out). Like “oh god, what have I done…” They’re super fucking clumsy too and don’t have too good of a recovery in public tho. For example, if they run into someone they know, RIGHT after coming out of the restroom? Red, hot face, sweat all over their neck. Stuttering and shit when they try to say hi to the said acquaintance. When they touch themselves, they don’t use toys (which is very sad. You gotta spice up their lives. They’re open to it. If you’re not the one with spice, they’re also okay with it. And if you’re both okay with vanilla sex every time, feel free!) This person just uses their hands, but LIES DOWN. They like to relax, face the ceiling, close their eyes, and think slow vanilla things…

•might be tmi, but when they touch themselves, it’s kind of inhibited…and not as fast as people do when they’re abt to cross the finish line, yk? Like either long edging sessions or never letting themselves climax sometimes, or rubbing/pressing very hard and still but not fast(?) when they cum…if you know what I mean? Idk if they’re doing it on purpose or if they’re not too experienced, or if they think they don’t deserve it? Scared maybe?

•no kidding, you could actually do anything to this person. cnc/dubious consent would be hot for them—though, they prob wouldn’t know what the kink is called lolll (you have to make sure tho. Establish boundaries and a safe word) bc they wanna be like “nooooo, don’t do that~~” while you’re all over them. BEFORE or IF you guys ever step into that stage tho, they’ll think about simple things if you do allow them to think about you sexually. Like you on top of them, slow grinding, soft touches, helping them out, mutual masturbation. there’s a little part that is innocent and doesn’t know how to step out of that or where to start when it comes to the more kinky stuff.

• it’s funny bc even tho this person has had a lot of experience outside, within a team or jobs, or clubs, etc., they’re so…malleable?? LMFAO 😂 crazy ass word to use but YES. you can throw them around like a damn doll and have them do this and that. A bit of hesitancy, but they know their main purpose in life is to serve :)

• but like I said, they’re a switch, so not only can they think abt you taking control (softdom energy), but if they think abt being on top, they think about slow, loving sex yk? Like slow grinding- oooh, yeah. that really gets them. They’re the type to milk themselves till the last drop too btw. Til. The. Last. Drop.

• also, most of the partners are not a loud moaner. They’re quiet, likely bc they’ve had to force themselves to be quiet in the household they’ve grown in. If your person is a loud moaner, they’ve grown unashamed of their sexual needs and have developed a healthy relationship with that aspect. If you’re with a person who’s like this and moans loud, congratulations!! They have become comfortable in their skin and you have made it so 🙂‍↕️👏👏 If they’re still quiet, def some insecurity bc of growing up with limiting beliefs or having to live with a lot of people in childhood. If you want them loud, you have to encourage it out of them. They’ll be pretty fuckin shy about it though. You realllly have to pull it out of them.

• bonus: if they’re loud, they’re a slut 😂😂 like a secret slut, yk? (this might be a bit darker so don’t read if you don’t want to—this really only applies to a small portion of people here—but chances are they get off…on being ashamed and self-degradation? A big example is being ashamed for engaging in sex/sexual activities? Like a masochist, “this is so dirty, I shouldn’t be doing this…” but proceeds to do it anyway bc they can’t help themselves?? And they likely degrade themselves while getting off. These people may secretly be content creators for this type of thing but appear angelic in real life OR they have potential to. Like them faceless whimper creators lmfaoo. Listen, hey…if you get with one of these people, you a winner winner chicken dinner

•there’s a big chance most people in this pile or the pile’s person feels ashamed or very guilty about the whole sex thing and masturbation; if you’re looking to improve your relationship with sex or relationship with this person, you have to help each other overcome this fear. It doesn’t matter who asserts themselves to the task. It requires the both of you at the end of the day. And boyyy is it gonna be hard- (…anxiety makes it hard for you to get aroused/stay aroused/reach orgasm tho 😮‍💨 the more you know…). No man, it’s gonna be so awkward—palms-sweatingly awkward. Breaking news, you might have to be the assertive one here. Your impatience could get the best of you and in that case, you’ll guide them. There are so many things that could go wrong in this situation of awkward pre-sex, but if this person has shown their worth to you and you actually trust them, a lot of it is salvageable by your own hand.

• however, if this situation goes south (and not the south we want…) then, this person will start to feel bad or insecure that they’ve hurt or done something wrong towards you, even though they’re a clumsy dummy who doesn’t intend to hurt people and tries hard to do everything right

• ^^ should you ever try to initiate it and try to sex em up again, you’d have to put a bit of work in to convince them, bc they were really open that one time and it was honestly…kinda the first time they’ve gotten so close to doing something THAT vulnerable and revealing. It would feel like they stripped and you didn’t like what you saw, and it was so apparent on your face that it broke them. That kind of vibe. A very sensitive person at heart.

• they get really anxious if something goes wrong. It’s probably a trait they picked up from parents/guardians being like that.

• they have SOOO much potential, seriously. But a lot of what-ifs on their mind so they’re playing it safe. Be confident, and maybe even borderline bossy, with them and gradually they’ll open out of their shell. This person is like hot liquid gold, waiting to be molded into your likings 😇

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**Teddy Note: Hi guys!! This is a super long post, but I hope you’ve gotten something out of it. My sexual tarot deck just came in and I’m pretty much obsessed with it already hahaha. Thank you for reading today’s post!! If you haven’t heard, I’d just opened up paid readings, and there is a sexual reading in there that is pretty much like this one, but more individualized towards you and pretty detailed (if you do decide to purchase, that is.) That’s all I gotta say. It’s been pretty intense doing these readings and the partners in these piles are all wildin in their own way 😅 Thank you again! Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t! Peace outtt :))

[halfricanloveyou]

yeah that’s literally pretty much what i’m saying and the point i’m making minus the whole “we should dictate what people can buy with food stamps” part. everyone just got really mad because i said it in a way that made them feel like i was making fun of them. because i was. and i am.

the people who got angry over this post actually don’t care about what i’m actually saying. they only care about telling me i’m wrong. which is why i’m being told that i’m a lazy jobless fat soda addict that gets money from their parents.

what’s really funny to me is that nowhere in my responses have i said anything about myself, really. because i actually hate coca cola. i rarely drink coca cola products and i never drink coca cola itself because it’s fucking gross, and soda itself gets expensive anyways.

the point is that these people are so busy yelling at people who disagree and attacking other people that they don’t care about whether or not what they say is true or correct. they don’t even know what it is i actually said. because they’re stupid. they want someone to attack which is why they’re spreading this dumb low effort rage comic ass graphic around in the first place, especially on a place like tumblr. they want someone to see it and say something so they can dog pile on someone trying to educate them. because it makes them feel smart and like they’ve won something.

i’m here because i think it’s funny watching them fall over themselves trying to “win.” instead of realizing “oh this person doesn’t actually care so we may as well ignore them, there’s nothing to be gained and we can’t change their mind,” they’re doing the most they can to try and provoke a response from me.

i’m getting outright lies to baseless slander to “i made a meme specifically for this situation”

*You should recognize bad practices AND not voluntarily support companies through conducting business (i.e. purchasing luxury products).

[phroyd]

I’m not going to pretend that I know how to interpret the jobs and inflation data of the past few months. My view is that this is still an economy warped by the pandemic, and that the dynamics are so strange and so unstable that it will be some time before we know its true state. But the reaction to the early numbers and anecdotes has revealed something deeper and more constant in our politics.

The American economy runs on poverty, or at least the constant threat of it. Americans like their goods cheap and their services plentiful and the two of them, together, require a sprawling labor force willing to work tough jobs at crummy wages. On the right, the barest glimmer of worker power is treated as a policy emergency, and the whip of poverty, not the lure of higher wages, is the appropriate response.Reports that low-wage employers were having trouble filling open jobs sent Republican policymakers into a tizzy and led at least 25 Republican governors — and one Democratic governor — to announce plans to cut off expanded unemployment benefits early. Chipotle said that it would increase prices by about 4 percent to cover the cost of higher wages, prompting the National Republican Congressional Committee to issue a blistering response: “Democrats’ socialist stimulus bill caused a labor shortage, and now burrito lovers everywhere are footing the bill.” The Trumpist outlet The Federalist complained, “Restaurants have had to bribe current and prospective workers with fatter paychecks to lure them off their backsides and back to work.”But it’s not just the right. The financial press, the cable news squawkers and even many on the center-left greet news of labor shortages and price increases with an alarm they rarely bring to the ongoing agonies of poverty or low-wage toil.

As it happened, just as I was watching Republican governors try to immiserate low-wage workers who weren’t yet jumping at the chance to return to poorly ventilated kitchens for $9 an hour, I was sent “A Guaranteed Income for the 21st Century,” a plan that seeks to make poverty a thing of the past. The proposal, developed by Naomi Zewde, Kyle Strickland, Kelly Capatosto, Ari Glogower and Darrick Hamilton for the New School’s Institute on Race and Political Economy, would guarantee a $12,500 annual income for every adult and a $4,500 allowance for every child. It’s what wonks call a “negative income tax” plan — unlike a universal basic income, it phases out as households rise into the middle class.

“With poverty, to address it, you just eliminate it,” Hamilton told me. “You give people enough resources so they’re not poor.” Simple, but not cheap. The team estimates that its proposal would cost $876 billion annually. To give a sense of scale, total federal spending in 2019 was about $4.4 trillion, with $1 trillion of that financing Social Security payments and another $1.1 trillion support Medicaid, Medicare, the Affordable Care Act and the Children’s Health Insurance Program.

Beyond writing that the plan “would require new sources of revenue, additional borrowing or trade-offs with other government funding priorities,” Hamilton and his co-authors don’t say how they’d pay for it, and in our conversation, Hamilton was cagey. “There are many ways in which it can be paid for and deficit spending itself is not bad unless there are certain conditions,” he said. I’m less blasé about financing a program that would increase federal spending by almost 20 percent, but at the same time, it’s clearly possible. Even if the entire thing was funded by taxes, it would only bring America’s tax burden to roughly the average of our peer nations.

I suspect the real political problem for a guaranteed income isn’t the costs, but the benefits. A policy like this would give workers the power to make real choices. They could say no to a job they didn’t want, or quit one that exploited them. They could, and would, demand better wages, or take time off to attend school or simply to rest. When we spoke, Hamilton tried to sell it to me as a truer form of capitalism. “People can’t reap the returns of their effort without some baseline level of resources,” he said. “If you lack basic necessities with regards to economic well-being, you have no agency. You’re dictated to by others or live in a miserable state.”

But those in the economy with the power to do the dictating profit from the desperation of low-wage workers. One man’s misery is another man’s quick and affordable at-home lunch delivery. “It is a fact that when we pay workers less and don’t have social insurance programs that, say, cover Uber and Lyft drivers, we are able to consume goods and services at lower prices,” Hilary Hoynes, an economist at the University of California at Berkeley, where she also co-directs the Opportunity Lab, told me.

This is the conversation about poverty that we don’t like to have: We discuss the poor as a pity or a blight, but we rarely admit that America’s high rate of poverty is a policy choice, and there are reasons we choose it over and over again. We typically frame those reasons as questions of fairness (“Why should I have to pay for someone else’s laziness?”) or tough-minded paternalism (“Work is good for people, and if they can live on the dole, they would”). But there’s more to it than that.

It is true, of course, that some might use a guaranteed income to play video games or melt into Netflix. But why are they the center of this conversation? We know full well that America is full of hardworking people who are kept poor by very low wages and harsh circumstance. We know many who want a job can’t find one, and many of the jobs people can find are cruel in ways that would appall anyone sitting comfortably behind a desk. We know the absence of child care and affordable housing and decent public transit makes work, to say nothing of advancement, impossible for many. We know people lose jobs they value because of mental illness or physical disability or other factors beyond their control. We are not so naïve as to believe near-poverty and joblessness to be a comfortable condition or an attractive choice.

Most Americans don’t think of themselves as benefiting from the poverty of others, and I don’t think objections to a guaranteed income would manifest as arguments in favor of impoverishment. Instead, we would see much of what we’re seeing now, only magnified: Fears of inflation, lectures about how the government is subsidizing indolence, paeans to the character-building qualities of low-wage labor, worries that the economy will be strangled by taxes or deficits, anger that Uber and Lyft rides have gotten more expensive, sympathy for the struggling employers who can’t fill open roles rather than for the workers who had good reason not to take those jobs. These would reflect not America’s love of poverty but opposition to the inconveniences that would accompany its elimination.

Nor would these costs be merely imagined. Inflation would be a real risk, as prices often rise when wages rise, and some small businesses would shutter if they had to pay their workers more. There are services many of us enjoy now that would become rarer or costlier if workers had more bargaining power. We’d see more investments in automation and possibly in outsourcing. The truth of our politics lies in the risks we refuse to accept, and it is rising worker power, not continued poverty, that we treat as intolerable. You can see it happening right now, driven by policies far smaller and with effects far more modest than a guaranteed income.

Hamilton, to his credit, was honest about these trade-offs. “Progressives don’t like to talk about this,” he told me. “They want this kumbaya moment. They want to say equity is great for everyone when it’s not. We need to shift our values. The capitalist class stands to lose from this policy, that’s unambiguous. They will have better resourced workers they can’t exploit through wages. Their consumer products and services would be more expensive.”

For the most part, America finds the money to pay for the things it values. In recent decades, and despite deep gridlock in Washington, we have spent trillions of dollars on wars in the Middle East and tax cuts for the wealthy. We have also spent trillions of dollars on health insurance subsidies and coronavirus relief. It is in our power to wipe out poverty. It simply isn’t among our priorities.

“Ultimately, it’s about us as a society saying these privileges and luxuries and comforts that folks in the middle class — or however we describe these economic classes — have, how much are they worth to us?” Jamila Michener, co-director of the Cornell Center for Health Equity, told me. “And are they worth certain levels of deprivation or suffering or even just inequality among people who are living often very different lives from us? That’s a question we often don’t even ask ourselves.”

But we should.

Phroyd

[anonymouslyangsty]

I would love to hear about Taka secretly being the murderer instead of Toko!!

HEHEHEH I now have an excuse to talk about the Brainrot. Also gosh. This is real long. And kinda just a string of thoughts, though no more so than usual I guess. I got into this one

First and foremost, we got to establish how close to the Toko/Syo situation Taka would be in this case. For the sake of simplicity, we'll say it's another situation of Taka and Ishida being separate personalities, just like with Toko and Syo. I think there's definitely merit to them being the same person, but I'd have to think that over since...well I've never thought of this concept from that mindset before. 

Let's consider Taka not knowing. I like that it's kinda a metaphor to some degree? Because as kids, we all have a very black and white, pure idea of morality and justice. Don't steal from others, don't lie, don't hurt people, ect. And that clear cut morality is very much in line with Taka as a character. He follows the rules! All the time! Even in a death game he'll yell at you for running in the halls. And this morality of his is so pure and simple, to the point of being childish.

But morality is not black and white in the real word. It's complicated, with tons of different factors to consider more often than not. Is it already to steal if you'll starve otherwise? Is it alright to lie if the person you're lying to has bad intentions, even if they are a authority figure? Is it okay to hurt someone if doing so saves others? Morality isn't clear cut and sometimes rules need to be broken. But when we're immature, it's easy not to realize this. 

So having Taka not know about Ishida would be representative of this concept of immature vs mature morality. The immature morality, the black and white view, is unaware of the need for complexity. This would be Taka, because Taka seems unable to accept grey morally. His interactions with Mondo reflect that. When he thought Mondo was bad, he was totally bad. He was violent, lazy, and a criminal. When he decided Mondo was good, he was totally good. He was the perfect man, unable to do any harm, let alone kill someone. 

So Ishida would be the mature morality, the one who realizes that the idealistic views of the immature morality are just that, an ideal, not reality. Ishida would understand that Taka's belief that, if he can just bring his ideas and morals into politics everything can be solved, is wrong. Corruption runs deeper than Taka's willing or ready to confront. And even with all the hard work in the world, Kiyotaka isn't going to be able to solve everything. 

How do you solve society's issues when the avenues to legally solve it are corrupt? Who do you call when the cops abuse the people? When the billionaire has all the judges paid off? How can you uproot corruption when so many politicians benefit from it and strive to perpetuate it? 

You can't. And that's what Ishida's there for. Ishi is more of the revolutionary that Taka is, the one who's willing to break the rules to ultimately create a better world to live in. 

So yeah. Ishida is a murderer. He kills corrupt authority figures, those who'd would lie and bribe their way out of trouble if he didn't kill them. Because for far too long justice has only affected those who couldn't pay their way out of it. I guess he's kinda a Sparkling Justice kinda situation, motivation wise. 

His calling card would definitely be different from Syo's. He'd probably leave a file of all the crimes the politician was executed for. Nobody knows how he gets the info, since so much of it was covered up, but he has it. Along with this, his victims are always decapitated. This is in reference to the French Revolution, where the people rose up and used a guillotine on the ruling class. (I’m sure there’s a more Japanese appropriate revolution I could make reference of, but I don’t know what it is.)

Now actually, how does Ishida get all that info on his victims? Not sure fully myself, but he probably uses Takaaki's position as an officer to his benifit. I'm sure he can get a lot of confidential information by breaking into police files. He has his ways.

Also, it should be noted that someone like Mondo wouldn't become a target for Ishida. Ishida doesn't deal with petty criminals, or even serial killers. He deals with criminals that'll powerful enough to manipulate the justice system to their advantage. Ishida only kills those the law refuses to deal with. 

Unlike Toko and Syo, I think that Kiyotaka would be totally unaware of Ishida. I like the idea of Ishida attempting to protect Taka from what he does. Because Taka is everything Ishida fights for; to protect innocence by destroying corruption. So Ishida wouldn't want Taka to know about what he does. 

Perhaps fittingly, this isn't exactly a good thing. How can Taka grow as a person, learn to be a leader himself, if he isn't aware of the corrupt world he's getting into? Taka does need to evolve into mature morality, but Ishida won't let him in his desire to protect Taka. Ishida keeps Taka innocent and naive, which isn't always a good thing. 

Moving on, I want to talk about backstory for this AU. It's basically the same. Toranosuke's corrupt in his actions as Prime Minister, probably cheating many out of their livelihoods and ruining lives in the process. He's eventually found out, leaving him and his family in dept. As far as I know, Toranosuke never serves a prison sentence. I don't know why he didn't in canon, but I'm going to say he bribed his way out of it in this AU.

And all of this is...upsetting to Taka to say the least (I'm going to say Taka's like 8-10 at this point) . Because even if his father tries to hide it from him, Taka's aware of the fallout of what his grandfather did. The thousands who were cheated, the workers left jobless, the safety violations that were ignored. He knows what his grandfather did was wrong. And everybody, from the news reporters, to the people on the street, to even his own teachers, say Toranosuke should be imprisoned for what he did. 

The situation is terribly unfair. Why should everyone hate him because of what his grandfather did? Why should his dad have to work all day just because of Toranosuke? Why isn't his grandfather in jail if he did so many bad things?

Kiyotaka is a passionate boy, and while he's well behaved, that level of passion wouldn't be easy for a 10 year old's willpower to contain. I think that eventually the stress of everything becomes too much. The constant bullying at school, the fact that he never sees his father anymore, the fact that his mother left them after grandfather got in trouble. It's all a lot for a child. And Toranosuke, the man behind all that heartache, is still there. An old, withered man, just laying in bed while everyone else suffers for his mistakes.

It's not fair. It's not fair that the bad guy gets away with it, and Taka hates his grandfather so much for it. Perhaps if Toranosuke had spoken to him, had said anything in explanation for what he'd done, Taka could've dealt with it better. But he didn't, so Taka didn't.

I think Taka eventually does something drastic. It's not planned or calculated in any way, more like a child having the worst possible meltdown. Perhaps he pulls out his grandfather's life support, or he smothers the man with a pillow. Either way, Toranosuke Ishimaru dies at the hands of his grandson, a young boy who couldn't handle the stress the world put on him. 

And Taka's horrified when he realizes what he's done. Because he just killed someone, someone who had hurt so many people, but someone nonetheless. And regardless of how angry Taka was with his grandfather, he honestly didn't mean to kill the man. 

So Taka does what any terrified child would do. He runs as far away as possible, with absolutely no plan. And it's days later before anyone finds him and brings him home. He's completely catonic when Takaaki finally finds him. 

 Taka's fingerprints being on the crime scene wouldn't be suspicious, since he lives there and is in charge of taking care of Toranosuke while Takaaki's out. So it wouldn't be hard to assume someone came in, killed Toranosuke, then cleaned up any evidence before leaving. After all, Toronosuke was dead for hours before Takaaki returned home. 

It's possible that Takaaki knows what actually happened. I mean, Taka's still Taka. He'd probably confess what'd happened once he's less catonic. But, regardless of if Takaaki believes the confession, he sure as hell isn't going to accept it. 

It’s the only time Takaaki ever yelled at his son. Not out of anger, but a panicked terror of not knowing if his son was deeply traumatized and blaming himself. or if he was truly guilty of murdering Toranosuke. He makes Taka swear to never say he killed his grandfather again. 

And somewhere in the midst of all that issue, Ishida starts being a thing. Perhaps it comes from Taka’s immaturity; his childish views on morality are completely incompatible with what he’d done. And how he’s promised to never bring it up again, but that means that he can’t do the right thing and confess. It’s a horrific contradiction and a horrific situation. 

Perhaps Ishida is Taka’s means of coping with that. Taka doesn’t remember what happened on that day, but Ishida does. Ishida carries the burden of that day and, as Taka gets older, all the other deaths.

Does Takaaki know about his son’s vigilantism? Who knows. 

Anyway, as for in the death game. I would still say the murderer gets revealed in ch2, but I’m not quite sure how. There’s no way that Taka could tell anyone he’s Ishida (or whatever the media calls this ‘mysterious killer’), since he himself honestly doesn’t know. 

I feel like it would be possible for Togami to catch him however, assuming there’s info on his case in the library. When the secrets are passed out, Taka would probably be pretty vocal about his being a “total false accusation”. After all, there’s no way he killed his own grandfather! These so called secrets are clearly just slander, right?

Given how honest Taka’s shown himself to be, Togami might think that’s suspicious that he likely honestly doesn’t remember his secret happening. Which might be enough for him to connect Taka to the string of murders. After all, Toranosuke would fit the bill of the killer’s usual victims.

I guess to get Ishida to front, Togami would have to convince both the class and Taka that he’s the aformentioned murderer. It would be...A very bad time for Taka. Bringing up a lot of repressed memories. 

Also, gotta talk about Ishida a tad more! With Toko and Syo, the fact that they have such different personalities is part of the charm. So, it seems kinda lame to keep Ishida as “just Taka but loud and rude” like in canon. Not to mention that Ishida wasn’t made with Mondo in mind, so it wouldn’t make sense. 

My first thought is that Ishida is almost the total opposite of Taka. He’s still just as militant as Taka, but he’s far more serious, less expressive. He probably very openly consiters making Togami his next target for the whole mutilating a corpse thing, but decides not to on the grounds that he’s a minor (and also because they’re in a death game and Ishida doesn’t want to risk Taka dying)

Also I’m realizing that, if Togami sets up the killer like he does in canon...That means he cuts off Chihiro’s head….Ew

[letoscrawls]

What are your Extremely Italian Opinions? Anything from politics to pasta, drop some hot takes

mmmmm good question! even though i'm not a proud italian as i'm very critical of this country and i'd love to live abroad in the future, i do have typical italian opinions that i'm ready to die for. I’m sure these will be mainly about food, but let’s see:

-say whatever you want, but italian food is the best food in the entire world, not only it’s healthy but it’s also delicious and no nation can compare :) no you can’t change my mind :) every time i watch Ratatouille i cringe so bad at the beginning when they say that French cuisine is known to be the best in the world??? that’s so false and i don’t even find it funny, we italians take food so seriously and if you dare criticize something about our food we take it very personal, yes, IT IS THAT DEEP.

-idk if it's a take but i find it funny that we don't use ice that much?? like i was so shocked to learn that smoothies are made WITH ICE?? we almost never use it, we definitely don't put it in coffee and we have this strange belief that ice gives you stomachache, especially if you want to take a bath, we usually wait two or three hours before taking a bath after a meal, especially if there's ice in it somewhere lol i think it's a typical Italian Grandma Advice but we all follow it religiously. Even though i know it's bizarre i can't help but wait at least two hours after my meal before having any kind of contact with water

-No one dubs movies and cartoons like italians. Our voice actors are superior (but the italian Rebels dub is terrible, don’t watch Rebels in italian, everyone sounds very bad except for Thrawn, surprisingly his voice better than the original and i've already talked about this in my ig stories some time ago haha) and i often watch shows and movies in italian even tho it's "trendy" nowadays to watch everything in english. Tbh i think that  a country with a strong tradition of voice acting shouldn't neglect it in favor of the original language, just because something was made in english it doesn't make it better. For example, the prequel trilogy is insanely better in italian, while i love Hayden's performance as Anakin i think that sometimes...it lacks emotion? the italian dub makes up for those parts, i couldn't understand why international fans used to despise the PT so much at first, especially the acting. There isn't one single character in the prequels that sounds bad, really. Same thing goes for Disney classics, i find them 100% funnier in italian (the most memorable example is Emperor's New Groove, the main characters are voiced by some of the funniest comedians we have, they all did an amazing job), even tho some characters are voiced by celebrities who don't do voice acting on a regular basis the result is always phenomenal. Honorable mention to the Genie in Aladdin who is voiced by Gigi Proietti, an actor and comedian of immesurable talent who passed away a few days ago, his performance is on the same level of Robin Williams' imo. So yeah, i'm a huge fan of italian voice acting in case you didn't notice

-regarding politics, lots of people here say that we have the "best democracy in the world" or something like that.........eh, i highly doubt it. I hate this country because there is no meritocracy, you're most likely to succeed if you have good connections or a powerful family. The worst part is that this applies to EVERYTHING and it's terrible. Also there's a big imbalance between North Italy and South Italy, so it's hard to succeed and have access to a good education if you're born in the South and you're poor. And it's a shame. I was lucky enough to live near a very good university so i pay for taxes and nothing else, but only those who are born in wealthy families in the south can afford university in the north as universities in the south are not that good in general. it's really a shame bc south italy is freaking beautiful but the government doesn't spend the same amount of time, energy and money and that's also one of the reasons crime rates are so high there. truly every single issue in Italy could be resolved by funding our education system but most politicians don't give a flying fuck about it and it shows :/

-University in italy is considered a privilege, something that people do because they are too lazy to go to work and get "a real job". we have one of the lowest rates of student getting a degree in europe and yet a lot of people are expected to be jobless for years after graduating uni. it's crazy. there is no respect or consideration for university students since you're not obliged by law to attend one but it's your choice. university professors are terrible, they act like we don't have a personal life and in most cases will make everything so hard that you'll need to take an exam even 15 times before passing it. a friend of mine who is a prodigy in Math attended a really good university in Switzerland and he told me that you can take exams a max of 3 times there but you usually don't need to because they are much easier to pass?? also exams are so hard to pass, my degree is a living hell, you have to take multiple tests, do projects and assignments to pass one freaking exam, while the entire world has the paper system, so you basically write a paper and then the teacher grades it and guess what??? YOU LEARN STUFF ANYWAY. i hate that university in italy takes so much years, tears and mental energy to finish and this leads me to my next point

-healthcare. Italy has one of the best healthcare systems in the world because, well, it's free! You have some kind of bills to pay, but they are not as expensive as in the US, the country got a huge debt at some point in the 60s/70s (i guess??) to afford free healthcare but it was really worth it!! HOWEVER, i think it's pointless to have free healthcare for literally anything besides mental health. sadly, mental health is a tough topic here, if you suffer from a mental illness you're considered crazy, an attention seeker, incapable of being a normal citizen and stuff like that. therapists are super expensive and only wealthy people can afford them. personally, i can't afford one and i would love to since i suffer from anxiety and maybe other things (but i guess i'll never know since my country doesn't give a fuck lmao). and university students are most likely to have mental health issues due to the terrible conditions we live in, yet society ignores us, this results in very high suicide rates among students in their twenties. i honestly hate it so fucking much, especially because studying psychology is considered "easy" and you'll probably be jobless after your degree. psychologists are doctors, they deserve to be paid like any other doctor because they save lives, for real.

So uhm this was supposed to be funny but ended being very critical hahahaha

[pekorosu]

just a lil “if ash lived” headcanon that i need to unload somewhere bc i've been holding it in for a long time

- set within the manga ‘verse

- takes place when ash and eiji are in their early 30s... so around the mid 1990s?

- i don’t get the weird animanga trope where older = longer hair, so they’re gonna look the same... maybe with slightly shorter hair bc they get regular haircuts now 

- (note: i've always interpreted long-haired eiji as symbolic of the fact that he couldn't move on from ash’s death)

- ash and eiji will continue living in the states, idk if still in NYC or somewhere else. they’ll move around a lot though.

- ash will mostly remain underground as he had to fake his death after lao’s stab, but he does it in a "hiding in plain sight" kind of way. only a handful of people know he’s still alive.  

- ash spends most of his time on the computer, mostly coding, hacking, being a nerd, among other fun stuff.

- he also takes on “jobs” anonymously, and occasionally from max (who’s still into investigative journalism) when he needs info that can only be obtained through Dubious Means.

- i also like to think that ash's a bit of a hacker robin hood lol. but he isn’t doing it purely out of the goodness of his heart, as part of it is a subconscious need to atone for his “sins” and cleanse the gnawing and persistent feeling of shame that gets amplified when he’s around eiji.

- also whatever he’s up to these days would ofc still be Highly Dangerous and Illegal, but it keeps him busy and would sate the part of him that’s still hungry for adrenaline without him having to engage in stuff like active bloodshed or substance abuse. basically that’s how i imagine he’d try to cope with life the only way he knows.

- eiji continues to do photography and other part time gigs bc he does not like the idea of mooching off ash forever, and he slowly makes a name for himself.

- ash and eiji live together but they are NOT together in a romantic sense... not yet >:)

- therefore eiji will probably date other people in the meantime, which gets a little troublesome bc it's not like he can bring them home to where his secret Very Important Friend is secretly hiding.

- ash will maybe have one-night stands every now and then. or not. idk. this isn’t a very important detail.

- anyway there will be lots of clueless but mutual pining :)

- ash especially, is of the opinion that they should start living separately bc someone will eventually track him down, maybe someone who has a past or present grudge on him. combined with his current activities, it’s only a matter of time before eiji would unwittingly get dragged into his problems again.

- eiji is v adamantly against that plan bc he's sorta developed a debilitating sense of paranoia that ash might just get killed somewhere while he’s not looking. not that ash isn’t paranoid either, but his insecurities often tip the scale over to “eiji is safer away from me” than “with me”.

- basically they’re doing their whole “stay. no, leave. no, stay” dance all over again, but like, dragged out over MANY YEARS.

- you thought eiji’s letter would’ve cleared up any crossed wires? 

- HELL NO

- like yea, there was probably a beautiful honeymoon period of about a year or two after they reunited, before their respective trauma and issues started creeping in and fucking things up again.

- esp on ash’s end, i think he’d engage in a lot of self-sabotage. and eiji is only human, he has his own limits and baggage too.

- there will be a government conspiracy plotline but on a smaller scale compared to canon that i am unfortunately not knowledgeable enough to worldbuild on, but it will probably have something to do with cybercrime/cyberterrorism/stuff like that bc it needs to tie in with ash's hacking shenanigans.

- i've heard that sing ends up becoming some sorta political big shot in yasha? idk, i haven't read it myself, but since china’s rising status was mentioned in GoL i imagine the plot should relate to that somehow.

- therefore sing would also get to be in this story! 

- i guess this means yut-lung would come into the picture at some point as well, and it would be a good opportunity for a redemption arc but i haven’t given it much of a thought bc i’m indifferent to his character orz SORRY.

- look i can’t do plot, but i am basically envisioning a political thriller with a side of slow burn romance (wait, you mean like a rehash of canon?)

- i’m thinking max is the one who kicks off the story by bringing something fishy to ash, and they just end up uncovering more and more and MORE stuff as they keep going.

- so for like 80% of the story, ash and eiji will be separated bc ash will be busy spying or infiltrating something... and being at the center of Plot Things, while max and eiji will be more on the outside dealing with the journalist side of things. i’m fond of max-ash interactions but i’m also REALLY CURIOUS about max-eiji’s dynamic :D

- meanwhile sing will be like, half in and half out i imagine. he's versatile like that lol

- ...i did NOT mean that in a dirty way

- anyway, this will provide ash and eiji ample space to work out their issues separately, as i think living in close quarters for so many years has actually been aggravating them. ofc those issues don’t get 100% resolved by the end, but some time apart from each other to cool off and spend with other people should provide a bit of perspective.

- i want ash to make some NEW FRIENDS (!!!) that are on the same wavelength as him bc there’s only so much that he can tell eiji and i’m sure he gets rather lonely, so there will be OCs that he will meet in the middle of Plot Things.

- ash will get trapped at some point. preferably with sing so they can have a much needed heart-to-heart talk. they’ll have a lot to hash out, ranging from the events in BF, shorter’s and lao’s death, all the way to ash’s love life. 

- btw i like the idea of eiji and sing being close drinking buddies who confide in one another but ash is kinda, justalittle, not very happy about that LOL 

- i mean, it's not like eiji can confide in ash when ash is the topic at hand, ya get me? as for sing, he’s similar to ash in the sense that they live dangerous lives, so i imagine he just finds it nice to be able to hang out with someone mundane like eiji every now and then.

- not to say that ash and sing aren’t talking to each other at all, but i think they’d have a bit of a rift between them. sing probably does feel some resentment, both at ash for killing lao AND at himself bc he knows deep down that given a choice, he would’ve saved ash over his own brother. ash can sense that tortured vibe, so eiji’s like their middle man. AND THAT’S WHY THEY NEED A HEART-TO-HEART TALK

- (SIDE NOTE: i want akira to have a role in this too. i actually have a separate headcanon that happens prior to this story... kinda like an alternate GoL? 

akira goes to the states to visit eiji, but ash is also there, yeah? akira and ash start out sorta prickly with each other bc ash is all weird and standoffish and always cooped up in his room. she probably mistook him as a jobless model mooching off eiji at first since 1) eiji and ibe have never spoken about him back in japan (cuz he’s supposed to be dead), 2) why would eiji be living with some random hot guy? unless they met during one of his photography gigs? right??? 

and then she ends up witnessing them in the middle of a tiff, which makes her not like ash even more bc HOW DARE HE YELL AT POOR OKUMURA-SAN??? UNGRATEFUL JERK!!!

but over the course of her visit, she snoops around learns a bit about their history and gathers hints as to why their r’ship is kinda strained. also ash and akira somehow end up bonding (reluctantly) over their emotional insecurities and part on a friendly rivalry to win over eiji’s affections (which eiji is completely oblivious to. also akira may have been 100% serious but ash was just jokingly playing along with her (OR WAS HE???)). anyway long story short, ash teaches akira some cool tech/IT stuff along the way so that leads to her gaining an interest in the field. 

she won’t be able to do much in this story, but a minor role would be cool :)

 ^ a lighthearted gyoza-making scene amid all the angst)

- (SIDE NOTE #2: i ALSO want cain to feature in this, but bc canon provided very little bg info on him it’s hard for me to figure out where he’d fit. but i suppose that’s precisely why it would be great to include him, since i can just make up my own backstory! lol. for now, i think he should be connected to one of the new OCs to make him more central to the plot. or heck, he can be involved himself! ...yeah, i’m just salty about how cain was treated more like a convenient plot device compared to the other major side characters. we barely know anything about him even though he was one of ash’s most trusted allies. #caindeservedbetter2k20)

- anyway, back to the main story. ash (and his new "friends") barely escape where they’re held hostage. ash would be rusty with combat now as he’s spent the past few years doing only stealth work and being rather sedentary. 

- so there’ll be lotsa old man!ash jokes like them poking fun at him whenever he complains about his back hehe

- when they finally emerge outside they find themselves in the middle of nowhere! they then hijack a passing pickup truck and do a roadtrip back to civilisation. ROAD TRIP FTW

- at this point, quite some time has already passed and ash even has a fuzzy beard and mane and all. he’s standing at the back of the truck with a small smile on his face and the wind blowing in his hair, thinking GONNA GO BACK AND SEE EIJI, MISS HIM LOADS, HELL YEA 

- (bonus: this song and this scene is the catalyst for this entire headcanon btw)

(drew this about a year ago. i was trying to imitate the manga’s art style... and the ash i had in my mind was a little different. i’m too lazy to redraw, but he’s fuzzier now okay! MORE FUZZ! like an actual freakin LION!)

- meanwhile, eiji and max will get into some deep shit around this point? 

- eiji in the pic above was me imagining that the Bad Guys had tossed some damning evidence (eg. severed body part?) on the ground like “ash’s dead/ash’s in a lot of danger now so hand over all the info u have”

- and eiji and max are like. SHOOKETH

- this would be the 3rd time ash has “died” after all, and as they say... 3rd time's the charm...

- eiji almost gives in, but then max spits in their face like fuck no and then... yeah. they get beat up and taken away or something lol

- EDIT: hmm... what if the Bad Guy is someone IN the government, and he uses his power to get eiji and max arrested for aiding and abetting a wanted fugitive (ash). and then ash has to rescue them... JAILBREAK STYLE

- also it might be cool to introduce ash's mom somewhere in this story... maybe SHE'S the villain! mwahaha *drama intensifies*

- anyways they will get saved by ash and gang bc that’s just the way things go, BUT! only on the condition they already made it out at least 80% of the way bc GODDAMN IT👏LET👏EIJI👏BE👏BADASS👏FOR👏ONCE👏 

- (that is, after he overcomes the initial shock of ash possibly being dead again... again...... again............)

- there will ofc be moments of “oh my god, you’re okay” "i thought i lost you...!"

- something like this, because one can never have enough cheesy reunion scenes

- this will eventually lead to REVELATIONS (of the romantic kind, yes) 

- buuuut they will never say "i love you" directly to each other bc ash is too emotionally constipated and eiji is too japanese. it's okay, they will communicate it through heated stares 👀

- i would love for there to be a scene where they have to be separated again for Plot Reasons and ash sorta hesitantly goes all "...will you wait for me?" as a direct parallel to canon!eiji's "i'll be waiting" and it’s like,

- FINALLY! 

- FINALLY!!!!!!!!!! ash has finally allowed himself to ask for this, to let himself want it! 

- and eiji would be like OF COURSE I WILL YOU BIG DUMMY, ALWAYS AND FOREVER

- but i think it'd be hilarious if eiji pops up while ash's in the middle of the final showdown and ash's like WTF I TOLD YOU TO WAIT FOR ME and eiji's like I WAS WORRIED OKAY YOU WERE TAKING SO LONG

- idk how this is supposed to end...

- oh wait! since the plot is government-related, maybe Someone will be able to pull strings to wipe out ash’s criminal record (past and present) and give him a brand new 100% legal identity, as thanks for his efforts? or maybe ash (or sing) just does it himself somewhere along the way LOL. anyway, he’ll be able to start over with a fresh clean slate and finally work on recovery FOR REAL NOW. yes this is a happy ending AND it didn’t require him to go to japan /flips off canon

- ...i realise it’s never going to be that simple but W H A T E V E R

- (also they probably will visit japan in the future with that shiny new passport... gotta meet the in-laws and all y’know)

- who do i gotta pay to write this cheesy self-indulgent fic for me

[jj-ktae]

·41/45· Intoxicated - Prompt Game -

Title : Intoxicated Pairing : Park Jinyoung x Fem!reader Genre : Angst, Fluff, romance Words : 2060 Summary : Breaking up with Jinyoung was already complicated, yet he came, drunk and desperate, at 4 in the morning. Prompts : N° 41 : “Do you remember our first kiss?” N° 45 : “I don’t want you to stop.”

Prompt Game - Masterlist - 

Intoxicated

Your sofa is not comfortable. You never noticed how hard it feels against your back as you try to find a better position while watching questionable videos at 4 in the morning. 

It doesn’t matter, rest is for people who can turn shut their brain off. You can’t. It’s been a month. A whole thirty-one days of going back to a life made of instant noodles and drooling on your favourite fluffy pillow. 

Today is Friday and after numerous rejections, your friends gave up and stopped forcing you to join them into some fancy bar. It doesn’t feel right to be partying like this, especially when you feel like rolling yourself into your blanket like a burrito. 

Which is already done. 

It’s not like you’re depressed; you’re the one who broke up with your boyfriend because of event you were not sure you could get out of. 

Jinyoung is a man of high standards. He was raised in a wealthy family where everyone has their own role and future traced from the crib. He followed his parents’ choices without rebelling once. 

Except one time, two months ago. 

You had been dating for almost a year when his parents found him a spouse. She was the daughter of a man everyone wanted on their side and his family couldn’t say no when the promise of a profitable alliance appeared in their household. 

Only then you saw how unflappable Jinyoung could be. He would reject day after day, not bothered when his parents used the word disown as a weapon. Jinyoung didn’t even flinch and was ready to pack and move in with you. 

Poor boy would hate spending all his evenings on your sofa.

It became too big for you to handle. There was nothing you could do except break up with him so before he could run away from his luxury you left, lying about not loving him, using the word mistake like it meant nothing. 

Jinyoung had told you though. Trust me, he always said.

There was nothing to trust. Jinyoung would have never been able to find another job if these two companies were to team against him. It is true that he is a simple man, but you couldn’t live with the idea of being what destroyed his life. 

So you walked away, isolating yourself and ruining your health at work. It’s been a month and you feel as empty, the feeling of being the one responsible for your own misery distilling hate into your whole existence. 

There is no turning back now. Jinyoung must get married and become what he is destined to be.

You’re clicking on this documentary about salmon trout and their reproduction cycle when heavy knocking on your door startles you. 

Your neighbours are probably going to complain about non-existent noises because that’s what they do.

You check your pyjamas - shrugging when you notice a stain a ketchup from your precious fries session. 

But it’s not the old neighbour you find behind the door. 

“You opened the door…” Jinyoung’s smug smile makes you take a step back. He is leaning against the doorway, head restless. “I thought you wouldn’t…”

“What are you doing here? Why are you drunk?” You inquire before checking the hall. 

Jinyoung laughs, his head raising in evident distress. “I am not drunk! Come on!” His voice dies when you pull on his arm to force him inside. 

Damn him for showing up completely drunk. 

“Oh so I can come in” Jinyoung mumbles, letting his plastic bag fall on the floor with a loud thud before attempting to untie his shoes. 

“It’s just until you sober up.” You scold, blaming your soft side for giving in so quickly. You didn’t have a choice; your building is filled with people who abuse the police’s phone number daily.

Jinyoung snorts, grabbing his bag again and aiming for your sofa where he lets himself fall. “I brought wine. You love wine.” His voice becomes sad as unwraps the bottle.

You sigh, reaching his side and taking the bottle. “Thank you. Now rest and leave when you feel better. You know where everything is.”

It’s too much work. Dealing with a drunk Jinyoung is usually funny; he becomes a mess of clumsy and cute and oh god he becomes so luscious as soon as music starts.

“I didn’t come all the way here to sleep on a sofa!” He pouts, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Why did you come then?” You turn around to put the bottle on the dining table before gasping. “Holy shit Jinyoung, this is a Domaine de la Romanée Conti! Take it with you, it’s expensive!”

Jinyoung snickers, his lazy hand brushing your words off. “Do I look like I care about this…” 

“Listen,” You walk back to the sofa, stopping when Jinyoung leans over his knees to bury his head into his hands. “I’ll put the bottle back into the bag. Rest for now and you can leave whenever you want. “

“How is it so easy for you?” His question breaks you out of your monologue. “How is it so easy to speak like this?”

“Jinyoung, I don’t think it’s a good-”

“A good idea?” He asks, raising his head and revealing moist eyes. “All of this was a very bad idea, right? Because it was a mistake?” His head seems clearer suddenly. “Do you even think I believed you for one second?” 

You raise a hand and shake your head. “No Jinyoung. You won’t make me say what you want to hear. You’re drunk, stop this.”

“Of course I am drunk!” He speaks louder, annoyance tainting his vocal cords. “I am wasted because it’s all I can do! Breaking news: not everyone is as heartless as you.”

It stings. No matter how this is what you wanted, hearing his pain can only make you regret. 

“It’s better this way. Look around you! How would you have lived? Jobless? Disowned?” He doesn’t understand. Life is not a soap opera; love is not always the answer to everything.

“I told you to trust me! I told you I would sort this out! You didn’t listen, you freaked out and left, even though I told you to stay with me, no matter how I begged! How cruel is that?” Jinyoung gets up, ignoring his spinning head and contracting stomach. Rage is blurring his vision and the memories haunting.

You don’t know what to answer. As much as you want to think you are right, it is cruel. Jinyoung didn’t go against his parents to get dumped. 

“I don’t know what to say...all I did was for your happiness. You can’t risk everything for me.” You explain, eyes now equally watery. 

Jinyoung nods, eyes closing painfully. He goes to the windows; the place he loves the most in your whole flat. “Do you remember our first kiss?” he asks, not even turning around. “It was right here.”

You smile, that night still printed into your brain. Jinyoung confessed a day after you both met. 

His smile was wide and hopeful that day; nothing seemed to stop him as he explained his attraction to you and how he loved the way you dismissed him when he showed up at your desk and explained he had to see your boss for and important matter. 

He had left his number on his way back with a wink while your boss yelled at you for not letting the son of an important business man see him. 

Stupid, you thought, as you still dialled his number to complain. 

He asked you out and a day later you were kissing, his hands on your hips and yours in his hair. 

Now he looks pitiful, abandoned and disturbed. 

“I remember.”

He finally turns around, his last attempt at making you come back to him hanging on his lips. 

“I made it clear that no one else but you are going to be in my heart.” He raises said hand, a single tear falling on his cheeks and he must be pretty drunk to openly cry like that in front of you. “Did you really think I was going to get married to someone else but you? This is ridiculous, you don’t marry people you don’t love.” he walks away, pacing weirdly and even bumping into your lamp. 

“What have you been telling your parents?” Jinyoung is stubborn, you don’t know why but he cannot let things go. “What are you going to do if they ever-”

“If they can’t understand something as simple as their only son’s well-being, there is nothing I can do.” Jinyoung concludes, looking hurt both because of your rejection and his parents’ inability to let him do what he wants. “I will not stay around people who want me miserable, but I can stick to those who make me feel loved and understood.”

“I’m sure it can’t be that bad to get married to a rich and pretty girl.”

Jinyoung stops walking, looking dumbfounded. “Do you even hear yourself? It can’t be that bad?” 

“I mean, your career is your future. Your family is important, too! What is so special about me that you’re willing to risk everything even after I broke up with you?!” You yell, hating both yourself and him for being in such a situation. 

“I don’t know, you tell me. Why are you wearing stained pyjamas on a Friday night while watching stupid videos? Why aren’t you enjoying your single life as you should?” Jinyoung hits jackpot as easy as he used to. He knows you; you’re not the type of person who watches questionable videos, anyways.

“I was tired.” Is all you say, your drained face giving away your current mind-set.

“Please,” Jinyoung rubs his forehead, completely done with your behaviour. “You’re not happy. You think you made the right decision but you didn’t. You’re fooling yourself and trying to be an altruist by ‘saving my life’ yet you’re stomping on me again and again. So what if I have to work shitty jobs and sleep here? Are you scared that you might not take advantage of my bank account? Is me being poor so bad that you want me out of your life?” 

It triggers you, it triggers you so much that you start crying. “Stop!” You shake your head, your heart clenching. “I’m warning you, never imply, ever again, that I was after your money.” you want to sound threatening but you must look ridiculous. “Do you think it’s easy for me? Do you think I can spit venom and feel nothing? I didn’t want you to suffer because of me, I want you to be happy and live the life you should be living. I’m literally forcing myself to stop loving you, Jinyoung.”

“You don’t understand, I don’t want you to stop.” Jinyoung breathes, his feet aiming for your trembling figure. His tone softens when he sees you crying. He doesn’t think he will ever be able to handle such a view. “What I’m trying to say is that no matter the amount of wealth and the number of connections, you make me happy and you’re the life I should be living. If you take that away from me, I’m done for.”

You sob harder, his words buzzing and more comforting than ever. 

He brushes your arm silently, his head dipping to take a good look at your bloodshot eyes. “Can you please stop trying to take all the decisions and believe me? It’s been a month and now I need you to come back to me.”

He doesn’t give you a choice; but you don’t need to ponder. 

“Are you really not going to regret this?” You try one last time, your eyes searching for his but his drunk face shows no concern, no sign of doubt, no hint of hesitation. 

“All I’m regretting is that I didn’t come sooner.” He concludes, his arms spreading to signal he needs a hug.

You carefully envelop him, his scent hinting he has been drinking a lot of liquor. “Promise me you’ll try to convince your parents some more.”

You hear him chuckle, his arms rubbing your back. “I promise.”

“I actually missed you a lot.”

Jinyoung can only inhale, his arms tightening and head finding shelter in the crook of your neck. 

“Welcome back, baby.”

[autumnal-thunder]

Hello, I’m the same anon that quit my job. The job hunt is tiring. I think it’s related to why people want higher minimum wage. Job hunting is a crap shot. Employers can and do treat candidates like shit. They expect candidates to be professional while they don’t hold themselves to the same standard. I’ve been ghosted by all but 2 employers who interviewed me. I got the same bs “we’ll call to let you on x”. It’s so frustrating. Even worse people defend it saying that HR and employers are busy. However, it takes less than 5 minutes to write a generic rejection or acceptance email and less than 10 seconds to press send. It's pure laziness.

It’s frustrating for people like me who want to save up money for school. I want to gain experience in the restaurant industry. However, I get passed over by someone with experience. How am I going to gain experience as a hostess if no one is willing to hire and train me? I hear that others get jobs as a host/hostess or sales associate without experience. I'm glad for them but I wonder why can’t I? I have work experience and my former coworkers can vouch for me being a hard worker.

It's disheartening going through this. It seems like I have to put up with horrible management or be jobless. I wouldn't be surprised if many struggles with that. If you’re going to put up with horrible management, might as well demand higher pay right? I'm not referring to the people who go minimum wage = minimum effort. Even worse, I did get phone calls from a business when my family was in the process of moving.

Hey, nice to hear from you again.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m currently in a job hunt too so i know how it feels. I go into every application and interview expecting to be ghosted so i guess it doesn’t bother me as much. You’re right about how awful the hiring processes are. When I worked at Wendys I was partially involved in hiring people and we would sit on applications for months or even years, only making calls when we were really short staffed. It made no sense.

In most cases you either have to have connections or get lucky to get hired. It’s not fair and it sucks, but it’s just the way it is i guess. I don’t think increasing the prevalence of labor unions or increasing minimum wages or anything like that is going to help though. It’s more of a cultural problem. It’s disrespectful to the potential employee that you’d rather lie to or ghost them until you desperately need them and then call them up like you’ve wanted them the entire time. It shows a lack of respect and signals that their work environment is likely toxic anyway. And just like in relationships, it usually says a lot more about the character of the person doing the ghosting that the person being ghosted. 

A lot of workers are doing the same thing to their employers now, which I’m not necessarially endorsing because it’s always better to be the bigger person, but at least they get a taste of their own medicine. 

I don’t really know what else to say other than to keep your head up and things will get better. And you’re right about people on both sides being jerks to those of us looking for jobs. A lot of people just suck tbh :/ keep me updated on your situation, if you like. and let me know if i can help at all. 

[atlaese]

Gurl. I feel your "what am I doing era"-post so so much. (Warning: Might unburden myself a bit and might also sound like the biggest, whiniest bitch on earth) I am currently in my 20s, jobless with no prospect in finding anything that fits and also still living with my shitty parents. I finished my training a month ago and have been jobless ever since. I'm now trained in a profession I won't ever pick up again.. not even as a Plan B to earn some money while figuring out what to do instead. Time and energy? Completely wasted! Opportunity to get paid and also gain some independence(+distance) from my abusive household? Missed.

My depression literally rules my life. I feel like I'm living in a vicious cycle. I've got no motivation, no passion, no interests that would help me choose a profession I could do for a living. There's nothing I could use as a base. And I keep putting so much pressure on myself to find something, to get out and ultimately find peace. My parents just think I'm lazy and looking for excuses; they even threatened to kick me out on numerous occasions.

I am so tired. I don't feel well. I didn't ask for any of this, so why do I have to keep dealing with it..

I am so sorry to bum you out and burden you with such meaningless whining. You're under no obligation to help me, let alone answer this. Even more so, if you feel uncomfortable with this, just delete it.

hi love,

first off all i want to say that it is absolutely not a problem. you don't sound whiny at all. you are allowed to feel whatever you feel and you are allowed to express those feelings!

I also wanna say something my therapist said to me; you aren't on a schedule. some people live with their parents until they're 18, others stay until their 30's, and there's even a few people who never leave home. everyone is different, you don't need to compare yourself to others. you are doing well.

you mentioned your training as a waste of energy - love, you put yourself through an extensive training, and even though you don't feel like doing anything with it, it is not at all wasted time. you are now good in a thing, you are skilled in that - probably something not many people are skilled in. so no, it is not wasted energy and time. i can see though why it feels like that though. just remind yourself that you did a training and you completed it! you did that! i am proud of you for doing that.

on the leaving your parents part; is there anywhere else you might be able to stay? a friend? other family members that wouldn't mind having you over?

depression is a vicious beast. i am really sorry you have to go through this. i don't know what i can say to make you feel an ounce better. you don't owe anyone anything. you are not lazy. you are a human being who deserves every ounce of love there is. it is okay to not know what to do with your life. it is not an excuse. you deserve better than parents who think and act like that.

i don't know if my words mean anything at all, i kinda suck at that, but if you ever, ever wanna talk, my inbox and dm's are always open. if you need a listening ear, you're welcome any time 💗 please, please take care of yourself. i am sending you all my love 💗 do not hesitate to reach out to me if you feel like everything is getting too much 💗

i am afraid for your safety and wellbeing, so if there is a hotline you can call in your country - please reach out to them to talk. i dont know where you live, but this is the us one, just in case.

1-800-273-8255

[writtenonreceipts]

another fanfic no one asked for, a creation due to hyperfixation...i saw a prompt about writing a story based only on message machine answers.  so here we are.  formatting is weird.  i was too lazy to do anything super special.  based on character from Throne of Glass 

No one answers their phones.  People eat cake.  People vomit.  People almost die.  People change.  Elorcan. Slight language and references to adult themes.

i’m thinking about doing a full out prose version based on the events of this fic, if anyone’s interested? lmk

enjoy

You’ve Got a Voicemail

December 20

CALL FROM: the ass of perranth

Hey it’s Elide, sorry I missed you.

>>Please leave your message after the tone.

BEEP.

December 23

CALL FROM: the ass of perranth

Hey, it’s Elide, sorry I missed you.

>>Please leave your message after the tone.

BEEP.

December 31

CALL FROM: the ass of perranth

Hey, it’s Elide, sorry I missed you.

>>Please leave your message after the tone.

BEEP.

I—I

BEEP.  Call ended.

December 31

CALL FROM: Whitethorn

Lorcan Salvaterre is not available.  Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP

It’s Rowan man.  Where are you?  It’s almost midnight and Fenrys is already wasted and…hell he’s climbing on the tables already.  Just get here man.

January 1

CALL FROM: UNKOWN

Hey, it’s Elide. Sorry I missed you.

>>Please leave your message after the tone.

BEEP

Hi Elide, this is Nox, from the bar last night.  Your friend Manon gave me your number.  You wanna get coffee sometime?

January 1

CALL FROM: the witcher

Hey, it’s Elide. Sorry I missed you.

>>Please leave your message after the tone.

BEEP

Relax.  He was hot and into you and not devoid of all human emotion.

January 1

CALL FROM: Whitethorn

Lorcan Salvaterre is not available.  Please leave your message after the tone.

BEEP

Did you know Fenrys can sing?  You shoulda been there last night.

February 14

CALL FROM: the ass of perranth

This is Elide’s phone and she is gonna get wasted tonight! She’s single so you should call back. *a chair knocks over*AELIN!

>>Please leave your message after the tone.

BEEP.

February 15

CALL FROM: the ass of perranth

Lorcan Salvaterre is not available.  Please leave your message after the tone.

BEEP.

Lorcan.  Lorcan, I—I just need you to stop calling.  Okay?

April 27

CALL FROM: the *NEW* ass of perranth

This is Elide Lochan of Perranth Publishing House.  Leave a detailed message and I’ll get back to you shortly.

>>Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP

It’s Nox.  I left my key underneath the pot of those blue flowers.

May 1

CALL FROM: yrene

This is Elide Lochan of Perranth Publishing House.  Leave a detailed message and I’ll get back to you shortly.

>>Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP.

Hey Elide, it’s Yrene! Sorry I missed you but just a reminder, you have to come tonight okay?  Please.  Chaol and I are buying food and drinks so be there.

May 2

CALL FROM: fire-breathing bitch queen

Lorcan Salvaterre is not available.  Please leave your message after the tone.

BEEP

Lorcan?  I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.  It’s Aelin. Um.  I just.  Can you just come to the hospital?  Chaol was in an accident and I can’t get a hold of anyone.  Please?

May 2

CALL FROM: chocolate cake

This is Elide Lochan of Perranth Publishing House.  Leave a detailed message and I’ll get back to you shortly.

>>Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP.

Elide, it’s Aelin. Just get Yrene here soon okay?

May 2

CALL FROM: the ass of perranth

This is Elide Lochan of Perranth Publishing House.  Leave a detailed message and I’ll get back to you shortly.

>>Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP

*Exhale* You left your coat in my car.  I gave it to Aelin.

May 3

CALL FROM: fire-breathing bitch queen

Lorcan Salvaterre is not available.  Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP

It’s Aelin again. Keep screening my calls that’s fine. Could you bring coffee to the hospital when you come?  Rowan’s flight got delayed again.  Dorian and Manon get back in a few hours and I can’t handle it without coffee.  Don’t ask me to beg, but if you bring chocolate cake I won’t knee you in the groin every time I see you.

May 3

CALL FROM: chocolate cake

This is Elide Lochan of Perranth Publishing House.  Leave a detailed message and I’ll get back to you shortly.

>>Please leave a detailed message after the tone.

It’s me.  I have your jacket.  Sorry I made you hitch a ride with Salvaterre.  Hey…um…are you sure you’re okay?

May 10

CALL FROM: Chaol’s Yrene

Lorcan Salvaterre is not available.  Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP

Hey Lorcan.  It’s Yrene.  I just wanted to thank-you for taking care of my garden with everything going on. Chaol gets home from the hospital next week, you should come for dinner.

May 10

CALL FROM: chocolate cake

This is Elide Lochan of Perranth Publishing House.  Leave a detailed message and I’ll get back to you shortly.

>>Please leave a detailed message after the tone.

BEEP

It’s Aelin. Again.  You aren’t that broken up about Nox are you?  I mean…are you?  Call me bitch.

May 10

CALL FROM: the witcher

This is Elide Lochan of Perranth Publishing House.  Leave a detailed message and I’ll get back to you shortly.

>>Please leave a detailed message after the tome.

BEEP

Screw you.  Answer the phone and stop making me leave messages. *Muffled curse* Abraxos misses you because you actually take him for walks.  Bitch.

May 20

CALL FROM: Chaol’s Yrene

Lorcan Salvaterre is unavailable.  Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP.

It’s Yrene.  Be here at seven.  At seven Salvaterre.  

June 1

CALL FROM: the ass of perranth

It’s Elide.  Sorry I missed your call, it’s been a year, haha. Leave a message.

>>Please leave a message after the tone

BEEP

June 1

CALL FROM: fire-breathing bitch queen

Lorcan Salvaterre is not available. Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP

Just because I let you crash at my place does not give you the right to each my chocolate cake.  For breakfast.  I’ll let Rowan beat you.  Better yet I’ll beat you.  Bitch.

June 3

CALL FROM: Yrene

Lorcan Salvaterre is not available.  Please leave your message after the tone.

BEEP

It’s Yrene.  Just wanted to thank-you for helping put up the ramp at our new place.  Chaol’s wheelchair appreciates it.  Are you still staying with Aelin?  I want to bring some cookies over.  Plenty to share too, I know how she eats.  Please don’t tell her I said that.

June 4

CALL FROM: chocolate cake

It’s Elide.  Sorry I missed your call, it’s been a year, haha. Leave a message.

>>Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP

You could have told me you lost your job.  Come over tonight?  I’ll make Rowan order take out and we can watch Stranger Things.  

June 5

CALL FROM: the ass of perranth

It’s Elide.  Sorry I missed your call, it’s been a year, haha. Leave a message.

>>Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP

*Muffled curse*

>>Call ended

June 5

CALL FROM: the ass of perranth

It’s Elide.  Sorry I missed your call, it’s been a year, haha. Leave a message.

>>Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP

*Muffled curse* Aelin needed to get a hold of you, I swear.  Her phone died.  Chaol’s in the hospital again.  She…she needed you.

June 6

CALL FROM: Elide

Lorcan Salvaterre is not available.  Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP

Sorry I called you a bastard.

June 6

CALL FROM: Elide

Lorcan Salvaterre is not available.  Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP

Even though that’s totally what you are.  Bastard.

June 8

CALL FROM: Yrene

Lorcan Salaterre is not available.  Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP

He’s in surgery again. They found the clot in time. Thanks for checking in Lorcan.  If it’s not too much to ask, can you bring me a pickle sandwich?  Um…just bread and pickles.  Actually, mayo too.  No.  No never mind that’s a bad idea.  Pickles and bread.  And olives.

June 8

CALL FROM: Chaol’s BF

Lorcan Salvaterre is not available.  Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP

You were actually being nice to Chaol’s wife?  Dude. *Muffled curse* Manon, I’m serious, it’s strange.  OW!

June 10

CALL FROM: yrene

It’s Elide.  Sorry I missed your call, it’s been a year, haha. Leave a message.

>>Please leave a message after the tone.

It’s Yrene.  I’m sorry about what happened.  I’ll buy you new shoes.  And socks.  And pants. Oh geez.  I didn’t think I would be so sick.  And if you could just not mention what happened?  I’m super embarrassed and um…not usually sick?  Anyway, I know you said your coming back later if I grovel enough could you bring me a pickle sandwich?

June 10

CALL FROM: Elide

Lorcan Salvaterre is not available.  Please leave your message after the tone.

BEEP

Since we both go roped into pickle sandwich duty, should we come up with a schedule?  Um, I mean…just…Yrene puked all over me right?  So, just…she shouldn’t be alone.  Chaol’s recovery’s going to be a long one so I just thought. Never mind.

June 10

CALL FROM: the ass of perranth

It’s Elide.  Sorry I missed your call, it’s been a year, haha. Leave a message.

>>Please leave a message after the tone.

I’ll get the sandwiches for this week.

June 15

CALL FROM: Elide

Lorcan Salvaterre is not available.  Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP

Pickles and ice cream. Together.  Not separate.  I’m going to tell everyone and make them do this.  She still hasn’t gotten me new shoes.

June 20

CALL FROM: chocolate cake

It’s Elide, please leave a message and I’ll get back to you!

>>Please leave a message after the tone.

You sound happy?  You’re jobless, you know that right?  Rowan might have a job for you actually.  But, that’s not why I called.  Lorcan’s been here too long.  I hate the man.  Why have I let him stay in my apartment for so long Elide?  Ugh.  He needs a girlfriend.  Oh…um…you know what I mean.  Sorry. OH!! You know what we should do. We should go out.  Tonight.  Girls night.

June 20

CALL FROM: chocolate cake

It’s Elide, please leave a message and I’ll get back to you!

>>Please leave a message after the tone

BEEP

Manon totally brought Dorian.  Imma call Rowan.  Get out of the bathroom.  Slut.

June 20

CALL FROM: chocolate cake

It’s Elide, please leave a message and I’ll get back to you!

>>Please leave a message after the tone

BEEP

He brought Loooorcan. He’s the slut!

June 20

CALL FROM: Aelin

Lorcan Salvaterre is not available.  Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP

If you go home with her, I will murder you.  We will murder you.  Aelin and I together.  Because that’s what bitches do.

June 21

CALL FROM: the *ass* of perranth

It’s Elide, please leave a message and I’ll get back to you!

>>Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP

You left your bra at my place.  I’ll keep it here for you.

June 21

CALL FROM: Elide

Lorcan Salvaterre is not available.  Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP

Ass.   

[silvermystification]

I feel like im still figuring this out. Ko-fi suddenly felt too public especially since i really only can do fanfics as a service.

Long story short i switched to [cashapp.] I still very much need funds.

I hate being so public about this in the first place. I struggle so much with asking for help in the first place.

Especially when i know i only don't have money cause i dont have a job. But honestly (the rest is more personal so read-more)

my last job was retail and even though i’ve worked retail for over 8 years, something snapped. i tried to fill out other job applications and i just burst into tears. i think it could possibly be the stress of retail getting to me (if you’ve worked retail you understand what i mean by that) or a combination of that and the fact that i was fired from this one. which is one out of two places i’ve ever been fired from. the first being from not being good at pushing credit cards. this most recent being for not being good at pushing the loyalty program. 

which even tho i’ve talked to the other employees and we believe there was personal reasons with the manager herself and not just the loyalty thing. it was still enough to set off my rsd.

and unfortunately i can’t take any “hard” labor jobs that require more lifting and/or strenuous activity. not because im weak/lazy. but because i got hit by a car some years back and it’s messed with my back ever since. [old post about that 1-- 2 -- 3 ]

and fuck me i guess. cause i didn’t do any college, so “office” jobs seem to be out of the picture. besides my major phone anxiety. and let me tell you i learned recently from actually applying that “no requirements” still means they want you to have gone to college. like just say that. dang. 

and i know i don’t necessarily need to explain myself. i could just say im jobless and i need money. but i technically already did that. i’m trying to point out that i’m not lazy in trying. and fuck my rsd for making me over worried about this

if anything the fact that im asking at all is a lot for me to do. putting myself out there like this is very hard for me. but i don’t know what else to do. i’m kinda stupid when it comes to these things

besides i can use the writing practice for i’m working on a book (a series technically but the first one isn’t out yet) writing is my passion. it’s all i have going for me. and if i can’t even get money from writing fanfic for people then what am i doing with my life? 

[stormears]

Anybody Looking to Puke Tonight

By reading some wacko internet drama that my grandfather initiated. 

I might delete this post because it’s pretty sad, weird, gross and more than a little creepy but I guess I want a few tumblr peeps to...share this nonsense with.

My grandpa is 90. My mother lives with him...because she currently can’t afford to have her own place. Hoping that will change next year. But for now, she lives with him and has to do a lot of caretaking tasks for him. Like clean/change his sheets, buy him the occasional Depends diapers, buy his groceries because he’s too weak to walk into a store, he also is nearly deaf. He can kinda-sorta hold a conversation and has a little funny wit at times, but he talks and processes things rather slowly and he knows it. 

HE ALSO IS REALLY INTO ONLINE DATING 

My grandpa loves to write poetry and has shared his poems with lots of other grandmas on old people dating sites. Typing in all caps about his old jobs and his grandkids and such. And giving his phone number to those ladies! Sometimes he talks to them and picks up the phone. Sometimes he picks up the phone and immediately hangs up. He seems to have a new lady friend every couple weeks. Or just forgets which ones he’s already talked to. 

Recently my mom saw my grandpa watching TV and holding the phone to his ear, while someone on the other end rattled on and on and on, and grandpa just looked at the TV and said flat nothing for 4 or 5 straight minutes and that person on the other line did not stop talking once. With my grandpa’s slow brain, he was probably attuned to the TV and barely hearing or understanding anything that person was saying, but he was also just, letting them blab on and on and on! My mom got weirded out and suspicious. She...PICKED UP THE PHONE TO LISTEN IN! (a second landline phone)

Creepiness incoming

And it sounded like an adult woman waxing on about “I’m so happy we can talk and you make time for me and it’s great that we’re in love and it’s great how much you love me and i’m so happy to chat with you” and my mom, hearing this, interrupted the phone call, butted in to YELL AT THAT WOMAN! 

Saying stuff like “That is my FATHER you’re talking to, do you realize he is NINETY and who the hell are you, this is so inappropriate” 

And she gets to um, chatting with the person and they claim they are age THIRTY-NINE, and named Tasha, claims she’s a woman but my mom said “I wasn’t sure if it was a woman or a gay man” and she just asked Tasha their gender and Tasha laughed at her and said “well what do YOU think” and wouldn’t answer the damn question! She just said over and over again that my grandpa and her were “in love” and that’s that! Claimed she and my grandpa have been talking for a year now. 

My mom went off on Tasha for being so psycho as to be dragging along a 90-year-old man when she is 39, saying she is either a lying bitch trying to get money from my grandpa or is so pathetic she can’t get anyone her own age to pay attention to her, even on the internet, that she has to sink so low as to begging barely-mentally-competent old men for attention!!

Tasha ignored all this and said “You can call the FBI but you can’t stop our love.”

Goddamn you Tasha! You fucking FREAK! You either ARE that pathetic or you are preying on my grandfather! 

I forget if there was anymore to the convo after that but my mom said she blocked Tasha’s number on my grandpa’s landline phone. And grandpa is soon going to stay with my aunt for the winter, and she DOESN’T have a landline (but grandpa does have a cell phone, which he never uses, but god, he could start if he wants to talk to Tasha enough) 

My mom then confronted my grandpa about this, asking why in the HELL he would carry on a relationship with someone the age of his oldest grandchildren, don’t you realize she’s psycho or using you, dad, why are you talking to someone that age, your granddaughter’s age, would you fuck your granddaughter, Dad? And she slapped the table and made him look at her and yelled “WOULD YOU FUCK YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER, DAD?” And like he often does when confronted with a question he doesn’t want to answer, grandpa hung his head like a dog being scolded and just waited for the conversation to move on. 

The only response my mom got out of him about all this is “It works for me.” Well he also said he’s been talking to “that woman” for 3 years. If Tasha said 1 year and grandpa said 3, it’s probably just 1 year in truth and grandpa just can’t remember properly.  

Mom asked if I would log on to grandpa’s laptop to try and find any messages in his usual dating websites between him and Tasha. And I was very much willing to do it, because Tasha does sound insane, and my grandpa very well could have given her his address (but he was ON the computer the entire 4 hours I was over there and we didn’t want him to know we were doing that) He’s not smart enough to order anything online so we really doubt this is just some crazy phone sex call, but he sure could just type his address or send her a letter and has done so for his various “girlfriends” before. Tasha might know where he lives. 

My mom told her older sis (the aunt that grandpa will spend the winter with) about this and aunt was just confused why my mom even butted into the convo at all, why she picked up the phone and started talking to Tasha. Imo, “leave grandpa alone so he can live his life with independence and dignity” goes out the window once grandpa shows he is not competent enough to avoid internet crazies, but auntie doesn’t think so. 

My mom told her younger bro (nearby jobless uncle on disability who probably cheated the system to get it, tbh, is a harmless nice guy but lazy af and rather spineless imo) and she actually had him on the line to listen to the Tasha convo...by having him on speaker on her cell phone I think, in proximity to grandpa’s landline phone. And uncle actually got riled up and yelled at Tasha too, which I sure did not expect! He told her to stay the heck away from his father, and he supported my mom blocking Tasha’s number. But auntie and mom got into a bit of a fight about it because auntie would never have gotten involved in this. Well, auntie. You can have fun with grandpa’s “independence” once he’s at your house and you have the job of picking him up when he constantly falls on the floor, making dinners for him because he can’t figure out the microwave anymore or be trusted with the oven, doing his laundry for him and wiping his occasional accidental shitstain. Love ya, auntie but ughh grow a brain. 

Thanks for reading, if you did. 

My grandpa has had his “online dating” life for a long time, it’s one of his very few hobbies nowadays besides reading large-print books and watching PBS programming. But it’s never extended to...a weirdo like this. A person who I didn’t mentally write off straightaway. Tasha freaks me out a bit. 

Now there’s tension between my grandpa and mom now because he’s angry that she butted into his business and she’s angry and sad and kinda disgusted at knowing these poor judgement calls and probable sexual desires of her own really old father. They live in a tiny house and he kind of needs her to survive, so they can’t ever really get away from each other, but it just sucks for her now. She can’t afford her own house, her job sucks, she has no hobbies or friends besides hanging out with me way too fucking much, feels she has no future or financial security, no one in the family wants to speak to her because she’s, well, kind of a raging overbearing bitch, and now her dad is pissed off at her too. Sucks to be her. It really does.  

[letitrainasunnyday]

Hi, I was thinking about about the times the truth will be revealed, and I find myself worring the most about Kogoro. He will be embarrassed and people would point fingers at him, calling him stupid or liar. And he would be jobless. He's a good person, and he truly cares about Conan, he dosne't deserve any of this. How do you think the story should go to avoid all this ? I think Kogoro should know the truth earlier than anyone else, and he should starts solving cases by himself before the reveal

Listen, I love Kogoro as much as the next dumb bitch. I truly do. I think he’s an often misunderstood character that a lot of people hate on just for the sake of hating him, and despite being a flawed parent, a questionable husband, and quite frankly a rather awful detective, I think he always strives to become better and that he has a great heart, and for that, I will always defend him. 

All of this also means that I am always interested in what Kogoro is up to, and I always wonder what’s going to become of him once Shinichi comes back. 

To answer your question, I don’t really have an answer. How should the story go, according to me, so that it’s fair to Kogoro? I don’t think there’s an outcome that’s really fair to Kogoro. However way you look at it, he isn’t going to be the first to figure out or even know about Conan’s real identity --now that would be a plot twist-- and once Shinichi comes back, The Sleeping Kogoro disappears and his reputation gets tarnished. We’ll have to see how that all plays out, because a little part of me is convinced that the truth behind The Sleeping Kogoro will never truly be revealed because, let’s face it, it’s better for everyone that way, but I can’t be sure what Aoyama is going to do with that. Kogoro will always sort of know that Shinichi was behind his brilliant deductions, but I think on some level he already knows there’s something fishy going on and he’s not really the one solving all those cases, so I can’t imagine he’ll be too affected by it, in that sense. 

But let’s be fair to Kogoro. The man has grown since we first met him. And we’ve seen that, if he cleans up his act and really focuses on matters at hand, he’s able to crack more than one case. He’s done it before, in the past. And there isn’t a doubt in my mind that he’ll do it again if the situation calls for it. So I think what we’ll see is him still at the agency, still being a lazy ass, but really starting to make an effort going forward. 

What I’m really looking forward to seeing --and I hope Aoyama gives us even the smallest insight into it-- is how Shinichi and Kogoro’s relationship will change and evolve and really just overall function once Shinichi comes back. Cause I have no idea whatsoever what that’s possibly going to be like, and I really wanna see it. 

So, Aoyama, deliver. 

[thedankfaerie]

i am posting this here because i am tired of burdening my boyfriend with my feelings. this is a little nsfw. and this is my call for help. i dont know who to talk to anymore about this.

i need someone to hear what i feel

or at least, a free space to say what i feel 

im in a low place. i feel so awful about myself and my body and i hate this feeling. i hate that this time last year, i was so happy about the way i looked. i was working this awful job that had me so overworked and overtired and poorly treated that i skipped meals and slept through meals regularly... i lost so much weight from stress in just a year and was the skinniest i had ever been. mentally, i was not in a good place being exploited by my managers... but my self esteem re: my body was at a new level i never knew could exist for me.

last year, i felt powerful and confident about my body, and i expressed that through sexuality. i was fucking my ex that i still liked (i grew out of wanting him back, but he never did, and it was nice to have the upper hand). i was also fucking an old fwb that i stayed friends with, that was also recently single, so we reunited again at the perfect time. i was also seeing this one guy (now my boyfriend) so if ever i got tired of the sex i at least was able to calm down and settle down with someone who genuinely wanted to know me. of course, i ended up catching feelings for this guy, and cut off the other two to pursue something more serious (we are now dating and are moving in together next month!) anyways, it was so nice to be wanted. to feel... i guess sexy? sex is empowering. and it shouldn’t be taboo to say that as a woman, or anyone really. i dont want to give off the message that a woman’s validation is fueled by men’s desire - but hey, don’t you feel flattered when someone thinks you’re attractive? desire and lust aren’t everything... but they matter. and they have an impact on how you feel about yourself, whether or not you believe me when i say that is up to you. 

 and i hate that i would gladly put myself through the stress that i did just to feel happy about my body. before the summer ended, i finally had enough and i quit my shitty job. i was jobless for a month, but was able to enjoy the rest of the summer with my new ‘skinny’ body - last year i took my first bikini picture ... a 2 piece! i have never done that. i still think about how happy i was that summer to look and feel good about myself. 

i have struggled with self esteem issues since highschool. i always felt like i was too big. i used to follow all these blogs of pretty people and try to copy their poses to feel pretty and i used to spend hours after school trying on short dresses and clothes to stare at my body in the mirror. i used to starve myself to the point of literally wanting to faint on the daily, until finally i admitted it to one of my teachers. she respectfully asked if i wanted to speak with the school guidance counsellor, and i declined. but she encouraged me to speak up to at least a friend, so i did, and it helped, and for a long time, i was okay. after i graduated that teacher still checked up on me for a few years every now and again.

4th year university was when i realized how much i had let myself go. i was the heaviest i had ever been, it was my graduating year, i was looking for a job and was always worried about my grades. every time i was stressed or every time i needed to study i bought pad thai and bubble tea. a ritual. i didnt realize how much that had caught up to me until i saw old pictures of myself. at this point, i started my (shitty) job, straight out of graduation.

i actively avoided scales, i didn’t like looking at the number because it just made me upset. and i already felt upset looking in the mirror, i didn’t need something else to make me upset. but i did. and i was 20 pounds heavier than i was in highschool - the heaviest i had ever been.

i cried.

i didnt do much about it. i was too busy. my first job out of uni was a brand new daycare and i was head teacher of a toddler class - also i was the only staff on floor since there were not as many kids. there was nobody to train me, at all. i had to teach myself everything. i had no time. 

a little while before starting the job, i met this guy. he was so hot, but such a dick - we had a “thing” but it was so toxic. he started off interested in me, but i turned him down. his attitude changed and he started being a douche, but we became friends because we were seeing each other so often. i didn’t have a car yet. he was driving me everywhere. he lived 5 minutes away. he was the type of friend that would text me “im outside, lets go out”. we hung out as friends at first, we would have “study dates”, until we started hooking up. we acted like a thing but he denied we were ever one - but got mad at me whenever i tried to look elsewhere. but i guess in that time, it was nice to be wanted, especially by someone so attractive. 

but again, a year in that shithole job went by fast. i would stay late after work. i would come in on weekends. i was expected to not only help new kids transition, but train new partners. and given that my supers refused to support me, i watched a lot of people quit due to pressure. i had to keep retraining. and kids kept coming. that never stopped. i can honestly say my class wasn’t settled until december, and i started in september. everyday it was ‘its fine, it will get better’. 

a year in that shithole, with 0 support, and i lost all the weight i gained - and more. i was the skinniest i had ever been. even in highschool. i looked at old pictures of myself from when i started the job at my heaviest. i couldnt believe that was me. and i was so happy looking at myself in the mirror. for once! 

after i quit that job, i started another job that i hoped would be a happy ending.

and it wasn’t. it stressed me out just as much. i also moved out by this point, a month after i started this job. my hours are whack. 7-9, 11:30-6. i woke up early and got home late. i never had free time. my last shift at my old job was 7-3:30 and i had the whole day to myself. im someone that needs social interaction and alone time, and by the time i got home i was so tired, i would just cook, clean, shower, and go to bed. and that was my life. sometimes i would get so tired that i couldn’t cook, i just went and ate out. i tried to make personal time with my friends after work but by the time i reached their house, it was late, and places were closed. and id have to leave early anyways because i had work early the next day... so fast food was the only way to make this work. on top of this, this was the most difficult class that i had ever had. the kids behaviours’ were so difficult and i couldn’t handle it. i would cry in my car 3x a week. i would cry 4 minutes before my shift starts in the washroom and walk out and pretend i was okay. i would have my boyfriend come over as much as i could just so i could cry in his arms. i couldnt leave this job because i had just moved out and having a consistent rent payment was a huge responsibility for me. as well, if you know anything about ECEs in canada, just know we make shit pay. but this job pays me better than most ECE jobs... by a landslide. AND gives me benefits, which is so hard to find. i am still at this job - i was at my breaking point at the time covid started, so i was rejoicing when we closed for covid. i havent worked since march, but i needed that time off so desperately. 

with that being said, i gained the weight back.

not everything, but i definitely could tell i was packing on some pounds.

cue covid.

i havent worked since march. i fell back into a lazy routine of ordering fast food. lying in bed. resting. just enjoying NOT dealing with my difficult class. 

but i gained it all back. and i think im back at my heaviest weight. i picked up all my summer clothes from last year from my moms... half of them dont fit me. my favourite pair of shorts won’t close. i just sat and cried in a mess of clothes on my floor in front of the mirror. this was last week.

im trying to tell myself, ‘you’re in the middle of a global pandemic, go easy on yourself’... but do you know what it’s like to finally get what you’re chasing, and have it be taken away from you? i finally had a taste of what it was like to look AND feel good about myself. something ive wanted since i was a teenager...and it’s gone. it’s my fault and i accept that, so please don’t tell me i did this to myself. i know i did. but i can still be upset about it. i look in the mirror and i try to suck my stomach in and pretend nothing changed but its not the same. i see old pictures of myself, especially that bikini pic. ironically, i captioned it “i will never have the confidence to take a bikini pic again”... and here we are. i look at the clothes i wore last year and remember how fucking good i felt wearing them. i try putting them back on and seeing my stomach bulging and my arms looking fat and my love handles, something i didn’t see last year. and i just take them off and opt to wear something frumpier that doesnt hug my figure.

i try to tell people about how i feel but i cant take those ‘love yourself and all your flaws’ campaigns seriously. i dont think i can listen to another ‘you have to just keep faking it until you make it and if u just tell urself ur beautiful u will feel beautiful!’

because if you’re me, you know you cant kid yourself. if you’re me you can’t ‘love every flaw’. you fixate on them. and you let them define you. and if youre me, flaws are all you see.

i hate myself for getting back to this point. 

i have a very supportive boyfriend that knows about all this, who is trying to actively get me to go on runs with him. we are trying to go for walks more and be out and about. he reminds me of little things, like if we are getting bubbletea he will suggest i go with less sugar. he is trying, we are trying. and i appreciate him so much.

today i complained in my car about this to my boyfriend, again. for the millionth time. and he still was supportive. but i just feel like i cant keep doing this to him. he said something today, which i think was him trying to give me a reality check to show me that i cant just wish i could starve myself and overwork myself to lose weight and call it a day... but it stung. he said “i don’t want to be with someone that’s not healthy. i have standards too” and i realized then he deserves so much better than to fucking babysit my complaining ass. i am 24. and i shouldnt be putting this on him. he is an adult with problems just as real as mine and i shouldnt be burdening him with this anymore. 

im scared to talk to him about how that comment made me feel, because he’s so right, and he has every right to leave me. i would honestly. the amount that i worry and fixate on all my flaws and complain and have crying breakdowns about this is not fucking normal. and it shouldnt be his problem. i just want him to be with someone that doesnt give him this baggage. he met me in my ‘prime’ days when i just started getting my skinny body last year. when we finally started dating, we were super sexually active. and i mean, having sex like 15 times a week. im not kidding. now we havent had sex in almost an entire month. i dont feel sexy anymore and its impacting my sex drive.. he tries to start it with me and i just can’t because i feel like he is probably repulsed by my body. this is a huge huge huge problem, seeing as sex was a huge part of our relationship (we are very emotionally in tune with one another, but sex was a great addon because we both love it so much). i hate the way i look without clothes on. i cant bring myself to do it because it makes me feel like shit about myself.

but we are moving in together next month. and that is a huge step. and i am worried that i will never change, and he’s going to feel like he’s stuck with me because he’s moving 40 minutes away from his hometown to live with me. i almost want us to break up so he can be with someone with less baggage but i also love him and i want to be better for him and for us. 

someone please help me. 

[mythicamagic]

Diabolik Murder Mystery: Twoshot

Writing Commission for @s-e-kwan

AU: In Edwardian London, Detective Mukami Ruki pays a visit to Sakamaki manor after hearing the news of his late Benefactor’s murder. It soon becomes clear the culprit is one of the sons, or is it possibly Karl Heinz’s ward; miss Yui Komori?

Mystery/some romance

Rated T

10,100 words

Chapter Two - here

Diabolik Murder Mystery~

The grimy streets were quiet in the late evening, with street lamps illuminating dingy alleyways and cobblestone pavements in a gaudy orange.

A pale hand drew back a velvet curtain, looking out from within the carriage. Ruki Mukami’s lips lifted in a silent sneer, the curtain falling back into place.

He hated downtown. More for the reminder of what it had done to him in his youth.

But for his purposes, he needed to visit it and ignore the filth, poor and ghosts of proud little aristocrats weeping on street corners. He stepped out of the carriage once it reached a downtrodden pub, walking inside.

Yuma paused, a barrel hauled casually over his shoulder. “Hey, Ruki!” He greeted.

The other patrons paused in their drinks, looking at the man that stuck out like a sore thumb.

Tailored black clothes and tall top hats weren’t things usually seen around downtown. Ruki ignored them, padding to a table where two young men awaited him.

Yuma finished up setting the drinks barrel down, wiping the surface of the bar before joining them.

Kou smiled. “It’s been a little while since we were all together~”

“Mn…I’ve missed…you,” the youngest, Azusa murmured.

Ruki set his hat down, adjusting his collar and cuffs until they were loose, shedding his gentlemanly persona. There was no need for it now. “Yes. I apologise for being busy and that the reason for our meeting had to be so…grim.”

Yuma leaned his cheek on his palm. “Tch, we couldn’t exactly ignore it.”

Nodding, Ruki pulled out a newspaper from his jacket, setting it on the table.

‘MURDER AT SAKAMAKI MANOR.’ The headline read.

Azusa looked at the article, frowning softly at the name of the victim. “Karl…Heinz.”

“Indeed. Murdered in his sleep. Each of his children were in the house with him, and we’re all aware of his monetary status.”

Letting out an aggravated sigh, Yuma shook his head. “Here ya go again, playing detective.”

“It’s almost like it’s my job,” Ruki muttered dryly.

“Soo you’re going to investigate it without anyone hiring you?”

The eldest Mukami glanced at Kou, who observed him quietly. “I don’t have much of a choice. He adopted us, fed us and clothed us without anyone hiring him. It’s not clear if the motive was revenge, an act of wrath, or desire to obtain his full wealth, and I won’t know until I interview the family. I also need to find out the status of the Will.”

“We will…help you…Ruki,” Azusa nodded.

“Heh, don’t steal my line. Course’ we’ll help,” Yuma agreed, with Kou inspecting his pristine nails.

“If it doesn’t interfere with my singing.”

“Shaddap! He paid for your concert slots. Ya owe your fame to him!”

Ruki put a hand up, silencing the glaring brothers. “Thank you. I think it’s best we communicate by letter while this is going on. I’ll send you instructions.”

“Why?”

“The six Sakamaki children are wealthy. It wouldn’t surprise me if they assigned someone to follow me when I begin my investigation. They’ll want to know what I know. I can’t use you to spy on them if they know our connection.”

“Makes sense, you got any suspects yet?” Kou hummed.

Ruki threaded his fingers. Pale lips curve, blue-grey eyes darkening. “Not yet. Though I am thoroughly interested in meeting his ward.”

“Ah, I remember he got one. What’s her name again?”

“Miss Yui Komori.”

OOO

A young lady with blonde hair wandered out onto the balcony, airing out the laundry. The past few days had left her with a ghostly pallor, her eyes downcast. The black dress she wore signified her state of mourning.

Hurrying downstairs to go and help the servants in the kitchen with dinner, she almost bumped head first into someone. “O-oh, forgive me,” she curtseyed.

Subaru stilled, muscles tensing. With a tsk, he averted his eyes and stormed off. Yui straightened, her hand dipping into her pocket to squeeze the iron rosary within.

“You don’t have time to be dawdling, Komori.”

Raising her head, she met narrowed eyes. Reiji padded down the hallway. “Our guest will be arriving soon.”

“I don’t see why we should let a damn Detective into this house, much less feed him.” Ayato piped up on his way to go steal food from the kitchen.

“It’s true the police have already interviewed us. But if they’ve hired one, then we’ve no choice but to open our doors to him. I certainly don’t want to arouse suspicion…unless you’re worried he’ll find something you’re hiding,” Reiji uttered, lifting a brow.

“Tch, shut it Four Eyes. I’m not gonna hide the fact that I think whoever killed the Old man is a damn legend.” Ayato sneered, padding away.

Reiji folded his arms loosely. “Not the best strategy with dealing with an investigator,” he sighed. Glancing at Yui, who still lingered, her expression thoughtful, he frowned. “Unless you want a whipping, off with you, Komori.”

She jumped, squeaking and nodding as she hurried away.

OOO

The Mansion was as lavish as Ruki had expected, with finely trimmed hedges and vast, sprawling grounds. He and his brothers had never visited. They’d been kept a secret from Karl Heinz’s family, though why, Ruki had never known. It hadn’t been his place to ask.

Knocking on the door, Ruki was received by a servant, who took his hat and coat. Stepping inside, Ruki lifted his head to look at the stained glass skylight in the foyer. Another servant asked that he follow her to the drawing room, where seven people awaited him.

His children, Ruki thought, glancing at the only girl. And ward.

“Thank you for arriving on time,” Reiji walked forward, posture straight. He offered his hand, and Ruki shook it.

“I’m the one who owes thanks for being received. Having you all here at once makes my job easier.”

Ayato scoffed.

Turning, Reiji motioned to his siblings. “I’ll start by introducing us. That one sleeping on the couch so disgracefully is Shuu, the eldest. I am Reiji, second eldest. Next is Ayato, Kanato, Laito and Subaru,” he gestured to each one in turn.

Ruki nodded in greeting, before turning to the young woman.

“This is Yui Komori. My Father took her on as his ward,” Reiji muttered.

She curtseyed, bowing her head politely. Taking her petite hand, Ruki dipped low, raising it to his lips. From his peripheral vision, he noticed the youngest Sakamaki bristle.

Interesting, Ruki thought, straightening and looking into Yui’s eyes. “It’s a pleasure.”

He was soon shown to a seat, which he sank into, observing each of his technical half-brothers. “Now then, you know what business has brought me here,” he said softly. “Three days ago, your Father was murdered at around 1.00am, dying from multiple stab wounds.”

Pausing to gauge their reactions, it seemed only Yui was shaken by the gory details. The boys looked on plainly, almost seeming bored.

“…The report I gained from the autopsy showed that his left arm had suffered some burns. But from what was found, it stands to reason that he was burned after being killed.”

Luckily Azusa working in the morgue proved extremely useful.

Laito hummed, tapping his bottom lip. “That’s odd. A burn? Why would there be one?”

“Karl Heinz was found in a bed with unspoiled sheets. I therefore think the murderer knocked over the candelabra next to his bed shortly after the murder and singed the bodies arm. For some reason instead of leaving the blaze, the murderer must have snuffed it out and removed the burned and bloody bedsheets. They then changed them with clean ones.”

“That sounds like an awful amount of trouble to go to,” Reiji said flatly.

“Mn…” Ruki slid his gaze over them. “His body was found at 6.00am by the butler. That’s all I know about the incident itself. That, and the murder weapon.” He pulled out a single silver knife from inside his jacket, setting it down on the table.

Subaru swallowed. A few brothers directed their gazes at the floor or wall. A tactic Ruki knew well. They knew who it belonged to, but they didn’t want to rat them out.

“This was found discarded outside the house among the bushes. The blade matches the types of lacerations and wounds found on the body.” Ruki sat back, threading his fingers. “I’d now like to hear your alibis.”

“But surely you’ve already read the police report? Saying it again is tiresome,” Kanato sighed, squeezing teddy.

The Detective regarded him cooly. “I would like to hear it directly from you.”

So that he could see if anyone slipped up or looked as though they were rehearsing lines. Sometimes people even remembered things they’d forgotten.

Shuu revealed he’d been in his room, asleep when the incident happened.

Ayato had also been sound asleep in his room.

And Laito.

And Reiji.

And-

All of them. Not one of them had an alibi that could be proven by another person.

Ruki’s eyes narrowed when none of them wavered. Either they were telling the truth, or they were such strong liars that it was second nature not to flinch.

As Reiji went about making them all tea, Ruki inwardly went over what each of them did for a living, as he’d found from his own investigative work.

Shuu was the apathetic and lazy eldest son who remained jobless, he’d never worked a day in his life.

Reiji proved the exact opposite. As an accomplished scientist, he’d contributed much to the medical field.

The triplets ran some sort of high-end pub, which Ruki knew to be a secret brothel. He’d sent Yuma there himself just to make sure.

Yuma had not wanted to talk about it too much, apparently shaken. Naturally the Triplets denied all accusations in past Police inquires, not wanting to get arrested.

Subaru had little prospects and had become the grounds keeper of the estate.

And last of all was miss Komori, whom Karlheinz took under his wing after taking her from a convent. Why, exactly, Ruki didn’t know. She was a dedicated missionary worker, and a catholic who helped out with the churches, convents and orphanages.

Truly a saint. He sneered.

Accepting the tea, he levelled his gaze at Reiji. “If I’m not mistaken, you have different Mothers, correct?”

Ayato tensed, glaring. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Enough, Ayato. Yes, Shuu and I are from Karlheinz’s first wife, Beatrice. The Triplets are from his second, Cordelia. Subaru is from his…current wife, Christa.” Reiji explained.

Ruki feigned innocence. “And what happened to the first two?”

“They were murdered, their cases still unsolved,” Shuu drawled quietly, not opening his eyes.

“Fufufu, yes~ Father was referred to as Bluebeard for a while by the city folk. They thought he did it.”

Glancing at Laito, the detective lifted a brow. “You don’t?”

“Hm? Ohh who can say?” Green eyes glittered.

After taking a sip of his cup, Ruki looked up. Though there were plenty of lamps lit, the air was slightly chilly. Curiously, the brothers left the fireplace unlit. “I’d like to finally talk about the Will this evening, before going to see the scene of the murder.”

The brothers shifted and glanced at each other.

“I heard the details myself. Your Father certainly had a dark sense of humour,” he smiled slightly. “It said that his vast fortune and estate would go to the son who managed to kill him, is that not correct?”

Only Reiji nodded. The others wore unreadable expressions.

“What’s more, he went on to say that whoever did so would gain miss Komori’s hand in marriage.” Ruki’s sharp eyes slid to Yui, who lingered near the wall, hands drawn up to her chest like she were silently praying. “And curiously, you omitted yourself from the Will, didn’t you Subaru?”

All eyes turned to the youngest, who glared. “So what? I don’t want to be part of whatever sick and twisted game that man thought up! I don’t want his money!” He spat.

Thin lips curved up, blue-grey eyes assessing him. “Well it is a bit of a double-edged sword. Only the murderer can gain the money and miss Komori. And they’ll only get that fortune once they’ve turned themselves in or been caught.”

Silence descended on the room. A tense energy charged the already gloomy and quiet atmosphere.

A servant then interrupted the group, piping up that dinner was ready.

After eating their meals without much incident, Ruki mused to himself as he held the fine silver cutlery, that it looked just like the ones from his memory. From days of old, when he’d been living in his own fine, lavish mansion. Where servants had waited on him hand and foot and he’d thanked them with whips, knives and cruelty.

Ruki set down the silver spoon.

“Mr. Mukami, are you alright?” Yui murmured quietly, sitting beside him at the table.

Glancing at her, he wondered what kind of expression he’d been making. “Yes…fine thank you. I think I’d like to retire to bed after inspecting the murder scene, if that’s acceptable.”

“Oh, of course.” She nodded, smiling kindly.  

“Don’t dally too long in showing him Father’s room, Yui.” Kanato sniffed. “You promised to fix Teddy’s stitching.”

“Ah, y-yes.”

“And help the servants tidy the kitchen.” Reiji snipped.

The Sakamaki’s watched them leave the table with narrow, slightly hostile gazes. Ruki almost found it refreshing they did nothing to hide their dislike of him.

He followed miss Komori up the stairs, who seemed to be in the habit of clutching a rosary to her.

“They treat you much like Livestock. A servant, instead of their equal as Karl Heinz’s ward.” Ruki mused, gliding his hand up the dark wooden handrail.

Yui stiffened. “Mn. I’ve become used to them though,” she admitted.

“Why exactly did Karl Heinz adopt you?”

“I don’t know honestly. When he visited my convent, he just requested to take me home. I thought at first he’d be doing something terrible or underhanded to me, but he was very pleasant and kind, if a little distant. I think…sometimes he did it so that his sons could talk to someone ordinary.” She said, reaching the top of the staircase and carrying on down a long hallway.

“Ordinary?”

“Mhm. They dismiss their servants, so of course they wouldn’t bother talking to them like regular people. But their pride and upbringing has made it difficult for them to even talk to other gentleman or ladies. I guess introducing me to them was a way of trying to make them lower their standards,” she gave a self-deprecating giggle, before it died in her throat. They’d reached Karl Heinz’s door.

“I wouldn’t say that, my Lady,” Ruki muttered, passing by her frozen figure and opening it.

Everything was silent within. He could see that the room looked a little bare, but knew various items had been confiscated for the police investigation. The double bed was large and fit for a King, the moonlight filtering in through the window.

Ruki stopped to take it in, before walking around the bed to its left side. Apparently that was where Karl had been laying when he was murdered. Sinking to one knee, he touched the wooden floorboard, finding part of it a darker colour. It was clearly charred.

Excess embers from the burns on Karl’s arm? This only confirmed to him the blaze had been an accident. A candelabra had been on the list of confiscated items, which had been found on the floor.

The thing that confused him was the changed sheets. If the murderer had killed Karl and managed to snuff out the blaze, why bother to wait around and change the bedding?

Unless…

Azusa had said there had been jagged, uneven cuts on Karl’s upper arm as well. Like someone had attempted amputation. The cuts had been made also after the victim had been deceased.

A cover up?

“M-Mr. Mukami. Is everything okay in there?” Came Yui’s voice.

“Yes, I’m fine.” Straightening, he took another look around the room, pulling out draws. He then re-joined Yui in the hallway, who seemed hesitant to go in.

“I suppose I should retire to bed.” He inclined his head.

“Yes, me too. Thank you for all your hard work so far.”

Nodding, Ruki spied movement out of the corner of his eye. The youngest Sakamaki again.

Deciding to test a theory, he stepped closer to the woman, who remained clueless. Ruki then crowded her back into the wall, setting his hand up near her head.

Yui’s cheeks flushed, eyes widening. “M-Mr. Mukami- what are you-“

“You’re like Eve in a den of snakes, so helpless and yet a singular existence amidst filth. There’s something very compelling about you, miss Komori.”

“I barely know you, sir!”

“Perhaps you should use my first name and it will deepen our familiarity then, Yui,” he purrs, mouth inches from her ear. From the angle however, it probably looked like he was kissing her neck.

“HEY!”

Before he was ripped off her, Ruki noticed a hickey she’d tried to hide under the lace of her collar.

Subaru stood between them, fist slamming into Ruki’s jaw. Yui cried out and grabbed the young man’s arm, tugging at him as Ruki staggered.

“Subaru! H-he didn’t hurt me, it’s alright.”

“HOW IS IT? OR ARE YOU FINE WITH OTHER MEN DOIN’ WHAT THEY WANT WITH YA?” Subaru roared, eyes blazing.

Yui dropped his arm. Ruki brushed a hand over his aching jaw.

“I didn’t say that,” she said quietly, averting her gaze. “I’m tired. I’ll see you tomorrow, gentleman.”

Watching her figure retreat, hurrying down the hallway and obviously fighting tears, Ruki glanced at Subaru.

“You stay away from her!” He snapped.

Ruki rose a brow. “Why? Are you that protective of her as your sister? From what I know, she’s only been living here a year.”

The white-haired boy stiffened, caught.

Ruki smiled slightly. “I assume this is my room?” He gestured to an undecorated door, pointing to him that it was a guest bedroom.

“Piss off,” Subaru tossed his head, grouchily stomping away and leaving Ruki alone. Humming, the detective slipped inside his room.

Laying down for the night, he wearily fought away the usual nightmares.

OOO

The next few days, Ruki quietly observed the behaviours of each of the Sakamaki children during their day.

Shuu, predictably, slept.

Reiji worked from home in his study, which was strictly off limits. Ruki had peered in anyway, seeing the research and experiments on display. Karl’s system had no trace of poison, narcotics or any other type of tampering, so Ruki left him be.

He then wrote down instructions and passed them to a servant he’d paid off, who in turn happened to wander into the market and pass them to Yuma and Kou.

Yuma despaired in following the Triplets again to their place of work, but grimly did so.

Kou’s task was to follow the youngest Sakamaki.

He watched and kept his distance, having the uncanny ability to mix into any atmosphere and belong if he was in disguise. The singer raised a brow when Subaru visited the Mad House, however. Hanging back, Kou waited an hour outside before Subaru left, looking much paler with eyes downcast. A red mark was blooming on his cheek.

Kou wandered inside afterwards and just so happened to find out who he’d been visiting; His mother, Christa.

After passing back the information to Ruki via similar means, the eldest Mukami paused. He then showed the murder weapon to the servant he’d paid off, asking who it belonged to.

Soon after, he wrote in his notes – prime suspect: Subaru Sakamaki. Owner of silver knife.

Motive: His Mother suffered great pain at the hands of Karl Heinz, who had a terrible effect on her sanity.

He just needed a little more proof and it would be enough. Though…something didn’t add up to him, and he couldn’t figure out what. He therefore had Kou tail Subaru one extra day, tailing him to the East side of London.

Ooo

Following the ward himself, Ruki sat down in the church one afternoon. He wasn’t exactly one for praying, but he allowed Yui to stay as she was, hand’s clasped and head bowed. She took a few minutes more to finish up, before glancing at him guardedly.

“O-oh. Hello, Mr. Mukami.”

“You don’t have to be afraid, and Ruki is fine.” He smirked, standing when she did. “Off to do missionary work now?”

“Yes, I’m quite busy,” she murmured.

“And what sections of London do you usually visit? East side?”

“N-No. Just the local area. I don’t get out much or walk so far,” Yui held her prayer book, walking down the aisle.

“Lying in a church?” Ruki chuckled, causing her to freeze. He approached her from behind slowly. “It’s funny. Just the other day someone spotted you in East side, walking into a hotel famous for its sordid affairs and meetups for estranged lovers.”

Yui turned to face him, pale.

His lips curved cruelly. “You met Subaru in there just the other day, didn’t you?”

“How do you…know that was me? It could have been anyone.”

He reached into his jacket pocket, taking something out. “You left behind some damning evidence.”

A rosary dangled in front of her face. Yui gaped, patting down her pockets and finding them empty. Shuddering, she blinked the tears from her eyes.

“I knew it. He killed Karl to prevent anyone else from having you. He did it to protect you in his own twisted min-“

“No that’s not it!” Yui burst. “He was with me that night. We w-were together, making love. Please don’t tell anyone.”

At this, Ruki paused. “You lied to the police. Why go that far? You two are hardly doing anything illegal, you’re not fully adopted as his sister.”

“It’s not that…Subaru has a poor opinion of himself,” Yui said quietly, wiping away the stray tears that escaped. “He doesn’t want my virtue being called into question. He….thinks I should marry a gentleman. But I can’t do that if my reputation is ruined. So we keep it a secret.”

Ruki observes her quietly. “…You love him, don’t you?”

“More than anything,” Yui murmured, looking at him with a raised chin and determined eyes.

“Hm,” he smiled slightly, thinking her a rare find in a greedy, murderous mansion. What he didn’t say, however, was that her admission didn’t ease him. She could easily be lying to protect a lover. If he didn’t receive any more information to the contrary, then Sakamaki Subaru would likely be arrested for his father’s murder.

Ooo

A soiree was held on the fourth day, taking place in the evening. It was in incredibly poor taste to have one before the funeral, but it didn’t stop the guests from pouring in. Ruki wondered if the brothers were doing it just to spite him.

However, he decided to just observe the young men in their natural habitat. Shuu didn’t move as per usual, while the Triplets were laughing it up in the Game room. He noticed that Kanato was the more reserved one, not quite having the flair for conversation his two brothers had. The youngest triplet therefore quietly slipped out, and his presence wasn’t even missed.

Ayato had his arm around a busty brunette, grinning at her. “You know you’d work real well in a show we do.”

“Ohh, what kind of show?” She purred, playing with his loose tie as he tipped alcohol down his throat.

Subaru passed by their table, hands drawn into tight fists. He knocked a wine glass in his rush, tipping it over.

Laito cried out, “naaw! Subaru~ you ruined the table cloth. Reiji will be maad-“

“Indeed, I’m a little cross.” Reiji suddenly stormed up, glaring at the plume of red staining the crisp white cloth.

Subaru snarled. “Shut up! It wasn’t my fault!”

“Honestly, go bring me a fresh table cloth at the very least.”

“I don’t know where all that crap is!” He snarled, while Reiji sighed.

“Very well, I’ll do it. As per usual,” he snipped, walking out.

It was clear none of them got on. Ruki opened his mouth to say something- before a horrible, deafening yell came from the other room. Running to the living room, he found Shuu sat in the corner, knees drawn up and violently shaking, rocking back and forth as the curtains from the slightly open windows swayed.

“What happened?”

“He’s afraid of fire,” Subaru muttered, appearing at his side.

Glancing at the fireplace, Ruki noticed it was lit. Quickly grabbing the bucket next to it, which was usually always filled next to fire places for emergencies, he found it empty.

“Fill this with water, immediately.” He shoved it into a startled maid’s hands. She quickly rushed by the confused guests, who looked at the helpless man cowering in the corner. Subaru was at his side, awkwardly putting a hand on his shoulder and muttering quietly to him.

“W-we just lit the fire because it was chilly.” A man defended, looking slightly guilty.

The maid felt like she took an agonisingly slow time, but finally she returned. Ruki quickly grabbed the heavy bucket and threw the water onto the flames. They hissed on impact, charred wood going damp.

Shuu’s violent shudders slowly abated, breathing calming. Ruki exhaled, walking over and crouching before him.

“Mr. Sakamaki, are you alright?”

Shuu didn’t answer.

Clearing his throat, Subaru offered: “He uh…had a trauma as a kid.”

“What happened?”

“I dunno. He’s never told me. Only one of us who knows is Reiji.”

Ruki nodded, standing. He was about to collect his thoughts, when yet another scream rang out. This time, it was a woman’s voice.

“Someone come quickly! Help! Help!”

The word caught in Ruki’s ears and pushed him to run. He wasn’t even aware he was moving, sprinting up the lavish staircase. His heart thundered in his ears. Blood pumped rapidly through his burning veins.

The crying maid stood outside a bedroom, body wrecked with sobs. Ruki distantly heard the other Sakamakai’s joining him but didn’t stop, rushing into the room with pink wallpaper.

Yui sat in a chair, dressed in a beautiful black gown. She’d obviously tried to make the best of the mourning colour. He couldn’t remember seeing her at the party. Now he definitely wouldn’t.

Recovering from his moment of shock, he quickly padded over and pressed two fingers to her neck. Try as he might however, he couldn’t find a pulse. Her eyes were already closed.

Ruki then took note of the slight foam dripping down her chin from her mouth. Picking up the empty glass at her feet, he sniffed it. The scent was sharp. Not wine, and certainly not water.

Horrified noises of some stray guests came from the door. Ruki sharply turned. “There has been a murder. I ask that the doors be shut and all guests please remain in the house. Someone call the police!”

From out of the Sakamakis, Subaru stepped out, his eyes wide.

“Y…ui…”

He suddenly raced forward, knocking Ruki aside to grab at her clothes. “YUI!”

Ruki tried to seize him and tug him off- the body couldn’t be interfered with after all. Reiji joined him, pulling the distraught, crying man off his lover.

Blue-grey eyes shifted to Reiji, something clicking in his mind. Whatever had killed Yui, the circumstances of her murder seemed right up his ally.

OOO

In all his years of work, Ruki hadn’t had much time to really be affected by death. He didn’t mourn, or feel much of anything for the victims. They were just bodies.

Miss Yui Komori was different. Seeing her be put on a stretcher and then loaded into the back of an open wagon like anyone else…made his chest twinge.

Just a little.

She was covered by a white sheet, and then carted off down the cold cobblestone road.

Subaru was inconsolable. He sat on a leather couch, elbows resting on his knees, head bowed. Ruki didn’t feel the need to interview him or Shuu just yet. The police naturally interviewed all the guests, something that stretched into the early hours of the morning.

Ruki however, kept a strict eye on the other Sakamakis. He entered Reiji’s study and pointed out the various chemicals held on site to the police, who went through each vile and confiscated them. In the days that followed, an expert was called to test the effects of each one, but none matched up to what Azusa pinpointed to be the fatal thing that had ended miss Komori’s life.

Deciding to write a letter to Kou and Yuma, Ruki gave them some strict instructions.

The six Sakamaki brothers sat in their drawing room one evening, sporting various tired or apathetic looks. Subaru’s face was ashen.

Stepping into the dimly lit room, Ruki cleared his throat. “Gentleman. I have an announcement to make. New information has come to light concerning Yu- I mean miss Komori’s murder.”

The white-haired man’s head shot up, staring at him. “What is it?” He hissed.

Taking out a piece of parchment, Ruki unfolded it. “She was killed by a fatal dose of a type of poison extracted from a rare, exotic plant. It is very expensive, and very hard to come by. Only someone with considerable wealth could purchase such a thing, and only one merchant in London sells it.”

He turned the paper around, showing a merchants list of products and purchases. Reiji’s name was clearly written down.

The room was quiet, and Reiji didn’t react. He merely looked on calmly.

Subaru suddenly lunged for him- only to be caught by Shuu and held back. He snarled and kicked, struggling. “YOU BASTARD! WHY?! WHY DID YOU DO IT? SHE NEVER HURT ANYONE!”

Ruki put the list away. “…You’re the one who instructed the servants to open the windows the night of the soiree. That’s why a random guest innocently asked for the fire to be lit. You threw away the water ahead of time, knowing Shuu’s reaction would be a distraction enough for you to deliver the spiked drink to Yui in her room. What’s more the lack of water held us up further.”

Reiji remained quiet, hearing the sounds of carriages pulling up outside, no doubt police. He then smiled slightly. “Mn. Seems you’ve caught me, Detective.”

“Why?”

“Why do it?” He scoffed, adjusting his cuffs. “She was an eyesore. She never belonged in this prestigious family. That, and her reputation with Subaru would have reflected badly on this family if their secret got out. She was a whore for losing her innocence out of wedlock.”

Subaru cried out, shuddering and swiping at him. Shuu held fast.

“And you decide to do it now? While I’m still here? Not a very smart move.”

“Hm, yes well. I’d hoped you’d be distracted by Father’s case enough to not to solve this one. What’s more, I paid off that merchant to keep silent. You must have some substantial wealth yourself, Detective.”

Ruki avoided his eyes, heading to the door to allow the police in.

They led the second eldest Sakamaki away, and he went quietly, head held high, back straight. The Triplets watched with mild surprise, while Shuu remained solemn. Subaru, Ruki mused, bordered on hysterics.

Walking up to him, he reached into his pocket, pulling something out.

Red, hazy eyes refocused when something small and cool was placed into his palm. He blinked down at the rosary, glancing up at Ruki, who nodded.

“The morgue sent back this. I thought you should have it.”

Luckily Azusa had sent it when asked.

Subaru held the rosary close, bowing his head and trembling.

OOO

When it came time for Karl Heinz’s funeral, not one of his sons attended. Ruki stood with the servants and aristocrats, somewhat glad he had the excuse of the investigation to attend. His hand clenched into a fist at his side, blood racing hotly.

He knew Karl Heinz hadn’t been a perfect man. Or a perfect father. But those foolish sons could have at least come to pay their respects.

Without any other leads on top of this, his mood turned darker and darker, shuddering with frustration. He needed to do something to get results.

And fast.

OOO

Laito had been cornered when he’d happened to be alone down an ally, taking his usual shortcut into work. Laito made a noise as an arm covered his throat, pressing down and pinning him hard against the wall. Yuma loomed over him, eyes dark.

“What-“

“You’re going to start telling the truth, Mr. Sakamaki.” Quiet footsteps sounded out, before Ruki walked into view, adjusting his gloves. “We’re patient men, but our patience does have a limit.”

Laito smiled, chuckling weakly. “My, how scary~ Is this the part where you play good cop, bad co-“ the strong arm pressed harder, digging his skull into the brick behind him. Air rushed from Laito’s lungs and he squirmed, gripping the flesh and trying to pry it away. “Alright! Alright!” He wheezed.

Ruki rose a brow, waiting. “There’s something you haven’t told me about your Father’s death. You, or your brothers must have seen or heard a commotion. A small fire was started after all. Tell me.”

Coughing, Laito paused, weighing his options.

“Wouldn’t it be a pity, if say…your dear Brothel was uncovered by the police once and for all?” Ruki sighed with dismay.

Green eyes flickered. He then chuckled, swallowing. “We’d have noticed a Detective walking in.”

“Perhaps. But maybe you remember the gentleman holding you?” Ruki gestured to Yuma. “He knows where you hide the girls when there’s an inspection. He knows the ins and outs of the place very well. I’ll expose your business to everyone and you’ll be arrested right now if you don’t-“

“I saw Shuu,” Laito said quietly.

“What?”

“On the night of the murder, I saw Shuu leave Father’s bedroom. I was entertaining a lady friend you see, and she was to leave out the back door. I was seeing her off. When we crept out of my room together, we noticed him. He looked as though he’d been crying, shaking. The usual thing if he’s seen a fire. He had flecks of blood on his shirt if I’m not mistaken. She then left.”

Pausing, Ruki thought for a moment. “I’d like you to give me this woman’s details of where to find her. I’d like her to confirm.”

Laito nodded slightly. Yuma then backed off, causing the man to heave in quick breaths, clutching around his throat.

“One more thing. Was he holding the murder weapon or sheets at the time?”

“No, not that I remember.”

Ruki hummed, eyes narrowing. He then took Laito’s lover’s details to go follow up on a check, walking away with Yuma.

“Ya think it’s alright, being seen together?” Yuma muttered.

“It doesn’t matter if they know we’re working together now, Yuma. This case is nearly over by my estimation. I just need to find that shirt, if it still exists.”

OOO

Ruki searched the grounds with Yuma for a bloodied shirt. He opened draw after draw in Shuu’s room, unable to find one that looked newly scrubbed of stains. He asked the maids if Shuu was missing a shirt, or if they’d been asked to wash a bloodied one, but none of them knew anything.

He then sat down and thought for a while on a garden bench outside. The roses were truly beautiful. It was clear Subaru kept them maintained.

Ruki spied him cutting at a bush with some sheers, Yui’s rosary around his neck.

Yui…

Standing, Ruki’s eyes slightly widened. There was a place he hadn’t searched, out of respect for the dead. After all, Yui’s case was closed. No one would need to enter her room.

Hypothetically.

Hurrying inside, he took the stairs two at a time and burst into Miss Komori’s room, searching like a man possessed. He pulled out draws, opened wardrobes and shoe boxes, even going so far to pull up floorboards- when he finally found it.

Ruki lifted out a crisp white shirt covered in bloodstains.

Cornering a jittery maid outside the room, he demanded to know whose shirt it was- before a calm voice spoke up.

“It’s mine.”

Ruki turned. The narcoleptic blonde stared back listlessly, stifling a yawn.

“…You understand what that implies, don’t you?”

Shuu lifted a shoulder. “Mhm. Well, looks like you’ve found me out. Who told you about it?”

“Laito. It was a random choice. I just decided to target one of the Triplets to squeeze information out of.”

Listless blue eyes slid shut, and he hummed, leaning against the wall. It seemed as though his strength was leaving him.

“Why kill him? Karl Heinz…was no saint but-“

“He was going to kick me out of the house, because I refused to get a job.” Shuu drawled, loosely holding his arms.

Ruki stared. “That’s it? You murdered him for such a reason?”

Shuu shrugged, lapsing into silence. He was apparently done talking. It only boiled the detectives anger into a deep, seething resentment. The Mukami’s had been loyal sons till the end. But Karl’s flesh and blood treated him as such?

It blind sighted him.

“But your fear of fire- what of the blaze?”

“Ah, yeah that.” He sighed. “I knocked over the candelabra and freaked out. I wasn’t thinking clearly and changed the sheets. I wanted to remove any evidence of the fire cause I’d panicked and felt like it would point to me, but heard voices and left before I could-“

“Hack off his burned arm.” Ruki muttered, frowning. Something wasn’t adding up. Changing the sheets sounded very out of character for the lazy son, but then again, he didn’t look the murderous type either. He shook his head, trying to dispel the niggling questions in the back of his mind.

Sakamaki Shuu was arrested for the murder of Karl Heinz later that day.

The day after, Ruki Mukami packed his bags, preparing to leave Sakamaki manor.

“Feh, you finally off? Good riddance.” Ayato snipped, glaring at him from over the banister as Ruki carried his things downstairs.

The detective didn’t reply. He couldn’t help but think he was missing something. Something important.

“Ayato,” Kanato padded up to his brother, squeezing his teddy bear. “Where is Hilde? She has not tidied my room for several days now. I want her punished.”

Hilde. She had usually straightened Ruki’s bedding too. He’d figured they’d told her to stop attending to him. But it hardly mattered.

He picked up his bags and with the help of the butler, carried them out the door into a waiting carriage. While being carted away, Ruki glanced at the greenhouse, noticing Subaru working as usual inside. The youngest Sakamaki certainly had some lonely days ahead.

For some reason, Yui came to mind once more. Ruki leaned out of the carriage, calling to the driver their change of destination.

If he was saying goodbye to the case, it felt only right to bid her goodbye as well. And Azusa would always receive him warmly at the morgue downtown.

Ooo

Subaru Sakamaki barely noticed the carriage leaving, too caught up in his work. He needed to work now, more than anything. It was the only path left open to him to stop the turning of his mind as it scrambled and unhinged over and over again.

What if I’d just spent time with her at the party?

What if he hadn’t pushed her away?

What if-

Subaru slammed his fist into the glass, tears blurring his vision. Too late. Work wouldn’t help now. He stood on the precipice of despair. One little nudge and he’d fall on his own blade. His hand finds the rosary around his neck, squeezing so tight it shook.

“Yui…” he murmured, voice thin with disuse. “I’m…I’m so sorry.”

The tears rolled down his cheeks as he sat down amongst the flowers. He closed his eyes against the sting, before they peeled open and fate was cruel once more.

His beloved stood before him, and Subaru only cried harder, trembling. “Forgive me. Forgive me-“

“There’s nothing to forgive,” she said gently. The sun behind her caught the radiant blonde strands of her hair, making them shine like a golden halo.

Subaru shuddered, body pulsing with pain.

OOO

“Ah…hello Ruki,” Azusa smiled gently at him.

He nodded, feeling himself relax slightly. His brothers usually had that effect on him.

“What brings you… here?”

“I’d like to pay my respects to Yui Komori, if you still have her.”

Azusa nodded, gesturing to follow. “Mhm, she is…almost ready for her funeral. Come…”

Following the shorter man down the hallway, Ruki adjusted his clothes, hating how stifling the atmosphere felt. He didn’t much understand how Azusa could stomach the gloomy morgue.

They walked into a room with several storage units built into the walls, all made for housing bodies. Azusa opened one, pulling out a metal shelving unit. A lone body lay atop it, white sheet covering her from head to toe.

Ruki sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t even know why I came here. It’s not like I know what to say.”

Azusa tilted his head. “Perhaps say…mn…you have been avenged?”

Taking a breath, Ruki leaned over the sheet slightly. “Yui. You can rest easy. Your murderer has been apprehended,” he said gently, peeling back the sheet to glimpse her face. “There’s no need for you to w-“

Ruki froze.

Looking between the two, Azusa blinked. “What’s wrong?”

OOO

Subaru stumbled to his feet, honestly uncaring if he fell on his sheers at this point. He padded towards Yui’s beautiful, angelic figure, his chapped lips curved up.

Finally, he collapsed into her arms.

Her very real, very physical arms. He turned his face into her neck, inhaling her scent as she make a noise of effort.

“S-subaru! You’re heavy!”

“Yeah well, you’re an angel. You should be able to hold my weight.” He mumbled.

Yui held his face then, kissing his lips and smiling gently. “I’m not an angel.”

Subaru frowned slightly, straightening. He then touched her cheek, patting it and stiffening. She felt warm. Real.

“You’re alive?!”

Yui giggled and nodded, taking his hand. “I am. But we have to go now.”

OOO

“What do you mean this isn’t Yui?”

Ruki turned to glare at Azusa, gesturing to the pale brunette girl. “This is Hilde. She was a maid at the Sakamaki Manor. I have to go- send word to Kou to go and observe Subaru Sakamaki. If she’s alive, she might get in contact with him. But it’s also possible Reiji is merely fucking with me.”

He grits his teeth, quickly storming out of the room. He couldn’t believe he’d been fooled! When had he switched them out? Was Yui dead or alive? Surely, she had to be dead! He’d checked her pulse himself. She’d looked just like any other body.

Taking one of the horses from the carriage, he set out alone, bidding it to gallop through the murky downtown streets. Fog lingered in the air. The horse’s hooves thundered on the cobblestone, passing pedestrians and nearly running them over.

Ruki panted, gripping the reins and urging the beast on. Soon enough, he swung his legs over and jumped from the saddle, racing inside the police station.

Ooo

Reiji happened to be enjoying a nice cup of tea in his cell when he was rudely interrupted.

“Where is she?” The detective snarled, looming outside the bars. “No more games. Where is miss Komori?” He demanded, voice quivering.

Raising a brow, Reiji shifted in his seat. “Ah, you’ve finally figured it out. Or was the swap something you stumbled across by accident?” He mocked.

“Tell me!” He snarled.

Reiji sighed, sipping from his cup. “Haven’t the faintest idea now. When I put her under, I allowed the police to take her away. But your undertaker isn’t the only staff who works there.” He smiles slightly. “Yes I know one of them is your brother. An Azusa Mukami correct? Next time you go undercover, you might want to change your last name. As it is, the undertaker I paid off snuck Yui out and placed another body in her place, as per my instruction.”

“So, you killed Hilde at the very least.”

He dismissed this. “She kept making basic mistakes and it was a necessary sacrifice.”

Ruki stopped. “Necessary? I don’t…understand.”

The Sakamaki chuckled, delighted. “I know. And it must enrage you. Don’t think me the romantic type, I didn’t do it for Yui or anyone. All this case has done is elevate me into the eyes of my peers in the world of science. You see, they refused to believe that I had made a chemically enhanced drink capable of rendering people into a corpse-like state. They wouldn’t allow me to demonstrate my findings, despite how surely amazing it is!” Red-wine eyes gleamed behind his glasses. “And now those fools and the public at large will now know that it can even fool a Detective. That is why I agreed to it. My work is out for all to see.”

“But Yui- why would she fake her death?” Ruki muttered to himself, thoughts racing to the blonde ward. But he could only think of her expression in the church, the desperation. “…For love,” he realised quietly. Somehow, it clicked.

Glancing up at the scientist, he noticed the man’s lips drawn into a slight sneer. “Indeed. You were getting too close to the truth. It was clear who you were going to arrest for Karl Heinz’s death. So, this was her idea to buy him time, enough for them to flee.”

Ruki’s eyes widened. “Subaru…Sakamaki.”

Reiji hummed, setting his chipped cup down on the less than adequate saucer. “Seems you’ve arrested the wrong man.”

“He…admitted to it though- it’s nonsensical if he didn’t-“ Ruki’s eyes widened, kicking the cell door. It rattled on its hinges. “That bastard. Shuu must have known his imprisonment would be temporary. That he’d be released as soon as I found out the culprit!”

“Who can say what that Good for Nothing thinks. He barely has a will to live. He probably doesn’t care if he’s set free.” Reiji drawls. “But you were somewhat right. Shuu was there in Karl’s room that night. And so was I. But Subaru got there first.”

Ruki pinched the bridge of his nose, heart racing. It had all been clear to see from the start. Such an easy case. Subaru’s forthright anger and somewhat lack of intelligence. The crime of passion- stabbing his father multiple times with his own knife because he was blind sighted by rage and didn’t have the foresight to plan a murder ahead.

And so it had fallen to his elder brothers to try and smooth things over.

“You’re the one who changed the sheets,” Ruki muttered.

“Mn, I arrived last. Shuu had followed Subaru to Father’s room and tried to stop the attack too late, but they foolishly started a small fire. Naturally the fool got hysterical. There was no water nearby so Subaru like the genius he is-“ Reiji cut his eyes to the ceiling. “Tried to cut Father’s burning arm off in order to get rid of it and calm Shuu. I heard the crying as I passed by and entered to complete mayhem. Changing the sheets was the only was to calm him down. Subaru discarded his shirt and the murder weapon and Shuu left. I destroyed the ruined sheet.”

“…The shirt I found in Yui’s room was Subaru’s not Shuu’s. He must have gone there after…” Ruki trailed off. Did Shuu truly care for his brother enough to take the fall for him?

Thinking back on the incident with the fireplace, he supposed so. And Yui had known everything from the start. Worked to protect her sweetheart.

Ruki shook his head. There was only one question left.

“Why kill Karl in the first place?”

Reiji adjusts his glasses. “That I do not know.”

It was possible his mother’s shaken sanity was enough of a reason, but he’d heard Christa had been taken mentally ill when Subaru was a child. It couldn’t be the reason or surely Subaru would have struck sooner.

“…Your actions were foolish. You’ll still be tried for murder.”

“Murder of a mere maid, not a Lady. But I hardly care. My life’s work will be acknowledged.”

Squeezing his eyes shut against the pounding of his temples, Ruki turned without a second glance. Kou would be tailing Subaru. Hopefully he’d made it in time. But he could need backup to apprehend the lovers if they’d made their escape.

So where would they go to leave?

He thought of a single pamphlet Ruki had found in Yui’s room when searching for the shirt. One advertising a new ship that could make the crossing to Germany three times faster than usual. Ruki had dismissed it as a girl’s fanciful dreaming to escape. But maybe that hadn’t been all it was.

Instincts rose up in Ruki’s chest, and he followed them to his horse, clicking his tongue to begin galloping anew.

OOO

The Port of London lay along the banks of the River Thames from the capital to the North Sea.

Unfortunately, it was one of the largest in the world.

Ruki didn’t have a clue where to start in order to find the vessel he wanted.

A ship known simply as Rotigenberg.

He’d told the police of the truth of the murderers and his hunch before he’d left but not even his reputation had gotten them to move based on no concrete evidence. The ships lining the docks were large and imposing, so numerous Ruki couldn’t keep track.

The horse trotted down the docks, and he kept track of the names of the ships as best he could. Seeing children suddenly rush by, he hissed and yanked the reins, halting just shy of hitting them.

“Careful!” He snapped.

The street urchins looked up at him, and Ruki stopped, his heart clenching.

“We’re sorry, sir-“

“It’s just that THE Kou Mukami is singing for free further ahead!” The little girl interrupted the older boy.

Ruki’s eyes widened. “He is?” That was good thinking. He quickly urged the horse around the children and urged it into a gallop, straining his ears for his brother’s distinct singing voice.

He found Kou soon enough, having attracted quite a crowd around him. Kou caught his eye and nodded, pointing at the ship opposite him.

Rotigenberg awaited.

Kou soon hopped down from the make-shift stage, ignoring the saddened crowd as he joined Ruki’s side. “I only took my eyes off them for a second- but I know they boarded this one. Mr. Subaru’s hair is too distinct,” he grinned.

“Well done Kou,” Ruki muttered, boarding the ship.

“Mhm~ so uh quick question though; how in the hell is miss Komori still alive? I thought I was seeing things when they got into a carriage together!”

“It’s a long story. I’ll explain later, once we’ve apprehended them.”

“Do you have a ticket, sir?” A stern looking man in a uniform stopped them at the end of the boardwalk.

Ruki opened his jacket, handing him stamped papers. “I’m here on an investigation, it won’t take long. Can you hold the ship to wait until we’re done?”

“You’d have to take that up with the Captain, not myself.” The man said flatly.

Kou cut his eyes to the heavens, but neither argued.

“That’s fine, but if passengers under the name Sakamaki attempt to leave this vessel, you will stop them. Failure to do so may result in the loss of your job if I inform the chief of police of your impediment of the case.” Ruki said breezily, walking by.

Kou held in a chuckle until they were further away. “Geeze, ruthless.” He teased.

The both of them soon hurried around the deck, searching for Subaru’s unmissable hair.

“What were they wearing?”

“Nothing too distinct. He was in a grey suit and darker grey coat that looked like it had seen better days. She was in a black dress and bonnet.” Kou hummed.

Still in mourning? Ruki thought. “We’ll search the lower decks- the boiler room if we have to. Start from the stern and open every cabin. I’ll work my way to you from the other direction after speaking with the Captain.”

Kou nodded and the two parted ways. The blonde hurried down the stairs, disappearing from sight and heading towards the lower-class rooms first.

Ruki padded up the iron stairs, holding onto the railing and jolting as a horn blew. To his surprise and annoyance, the ship started moving, departing from the harbour slowly.

Gritting his teeth, he took the steps two at a time towards the Captain’s wheelhouse, chancing a look at the ship departing next to theirs. It was a smaller vessel, with a humble green lettering on the side.

The Eden.

Ruki stopped dead.

OOO

Kou panted, opening door after door and disturbing people in various states of unpacking or dress. As he jogged down a hallway however, his heart leapt. A white-haired young man coupled with a small blonde woman were wandering away from him, dressed exactly as he remembered.

Rushing forward, Kou elbowed people out the way, grabbing Subaru’s shoulder and turning him.

Only for a man with blue eyes to blink back at him with confusion. He held his wig when it slipped.

Horror and humiliation welled up in Kou’s stomach. He suddenly grabbed the man’s collar. “Who the hell are you?!”

“P-please! W-we’re no one, we just wanted to sail somewhere,” the woman with brown eyes cried.

Kou could tell they were poor folk masquerading as grand. “Start talking! Now!”

“A-a pretty Lady approached us yesterday and gave us tickets to this ship. All we had to do was dress as she instructed and wear wigs. We picked her up with her lover t-today from her home in a carriage.”

The singer’s eyes widened. “W-what? When you got off…onto this ship…where did the Lady and her man go?”

OOO

There, on the opposite ship, standing at the railing together, was the couple he’d been searching for.

Subaru had pulled up a hood, his arms wrapped around the petite woman’s waist. She held onto him, eyes on Ruki.

It was as though he’d been suspended in a deep dark ocean. The waters flew up over Ruki’s head, making him slow to react. The ships were drifting further and further away.

He wanted to know why. Why a girl with such clear, bright eyes, would become complicit with murder. Why she embraced a man whose hands were tainted with the blood of his Father.

The strong breeze tugged at their hair and clothes. The distance between the ships might as well be oceans. Ruki thought of calling across to it. To make a commotion and point the murderer out.

Rose-pink eyes flashed, and Yui seemed to hold Subaru closer, clinging tight.

You’re determined to protect him, aren’t you miss Komori? Ruki stared back at her.

“Ruki- Ruki!” Kou called from down below, panting. “We’ve been had- urgh.” He wheezed. “They must have caught another ride. What do we do?”

The detective shifted, glancing back at The Eden. Only the lovers had disappeared into the crowd.

Ruki stood for a little while, feeling the ocean spray mingle with the salty sea air and fan over his cheeks, catching in his hair. Putting his hands into his pockets, pale lips curved, lashes lowering.

“I guess this is your win,” he muttered, padding down the stairs.

“Ruki?”

“We enjoy Germany, Kou.”

“Hah?!”

Ruki patted him on the shoulder in passing, walking to the railing and leaning on it. “My reputation as a Detective is probably ruined. I could use a holiday.”

Kou gaped, joining him. “But…why do you seem like you’re giving up?”

“There’s no giving up on a game you’ve already lost. It’s better to admit defeat gracefully,” he looked out at the ocean calmly, dark bangs fanning over his eyes briefly. “Besides, for some reason…I feel like our Father wouldn’t want any man to interfere with miss Komori’s wishes.”

“…Why?”

He lifted a shoulder. “A feeling. I’ve seen a lot of filth, lust, wrath and despair in my time on these cases. But I’ve never seen eyes so clear and innocent on an accomplice. Looking at her…I think I understand why he made her his ward. He wanted to obtain something pure.”

Kou stared at him like he was mad, and maybe he was, but Ruki didn’t much care. He had been the one to assign himself the case. Karl had never written him asking to expose his murderer should he be killed. And he’d been a very thorough man. There was still countless secrets Karl had taken to the grave with him that they’d never know.

“It seems Subaru Sakamaki was chosen as her Adam.”

“Huh?”

Ruki smiled wryly, closing his eyes.

“It’s nothing.”

OOO

“…Do you think he’ll come after us?” Subaru rumbled, leaning into Yui from behind.

“No, I don’t. Though I couldn’t say why,” she said gently, turning from the railing to look at him. She then gave a breath-taking smile.

Subaru stared at her, his heart thundering as a warm feeling flooded his veins. He didn’t know why she’d decided to remain at his side through everything. They couldn’t even say how or why the thing between them had started. Subaru had been simultaneously lonely and angry his entire life, but she’d kept approaching him, wanting to befriend him. She would sit in the garden for hours on end.

It had been ridiculously easy to love her. She had a presence that was gentle and kind.

Which was why on the day he’d removed himself from the will and he’d glimpsed the new terms- rage had seized him.

Whoever killed Father would gain Yui? Such a thing incensed him in a way nothing else had. What’s more, he’d seen the way his brothers looked at her. How their gazes lingered, thoughts strayed.

Don’t touch her!

So, he’d stuck that silver knife deep into Father’s chest- stabbing again and again- letting out years of pent up hatred.

When Shuu and Reiji arrived, they’d sent him away, and he’d stumbled in a daze into Yui’s waiting arms in her room. Though confused and horrified, she hadn’t screamed. She hadn’t said much of anything. She just held him.

In that same daze, he’d hidden his shirt and the murder weapon. It was only afterwards he’d realised how dirty his hands were. The blood had set in deep. He felt it in the scuffs of his coarse knuckles. He’d then resolved never to touch Yui again. With Father gone, she was free to choose who she wanted, he didn’t care if he hung for it.

But…

“Why did you choose me?” He grumbled, jumping at her touch.

Yui cupped his cheek, blushing slightly. The breeze playfully lifted her blonde locks up to dance in the breeze.

“You were just protecting me in your own way. A-and anyway…it’s because I love you, Subaru. I did all this because I wanted to protect you too.”

Subaru stared at her with wide eyes, before he tugged her closer, pressing his lips to hers.

“Idiot.”

OOO

After their impromptu holiday to Germany, Kou and Ruki Mukami returned to the shambles of the investigation they’d left behind.

Shuu Sakamaki was released from prison, not that he seemed to care.

The Triplets carried on with their shady business, unchanged by the experience.

Reiji’s full research was not made known to the public, but it was explored and hailed among his peers in the scientific community. Though he’d attended his court hearing and tried with murder- receiving the death sentence to be hung. Reiji had apparently taken his own life while in his cell.

Ruki had his own suspicions about that, but since he’d been let go from his position, he had no reason to investigate.

Instead, the former Detective had accepted the ridicule levelled at him, with many assuming he’d fallen prey to miss Komori’s ‘womanly charms’ which had impeded his logic and cost him the case. Despite this, he was considering becoming an information broker or Private Detective in the future, but for now he owned a book store and contented himself with reading.

His favourites were the ones involving mysteries, much like the ones he used to solve.

When asked by his brothers if he regretted his decision to let the lovers go, Ruki would dismiss their question. It did not escape their notice that he’d received something in the mail however, and sometimes he could be seen dipping his hand into his pocket, absentmindedly touching the rosary within.