#I don’t really know if I expect people to read this or not I just had to get it out somewhere

[revehae]

see a cheerleader, breed a cheerleader

pairing ↠ """nerd!"""jeno x (f) cheerleader!reader

genre .. warnings ↠ smut, noncon, dubcon, oral (m receiving), male face sitting, face fucking, unprotected sex, blackmail, choking, hitting, virgin!reader

summary ↠ ever since forever, you have always gotten your way with people by whatever means necessary. a wink and a smile is all it takes to make a boy drop to your feet and worship you. no one told you to think that lee jeno would be any different. as it turns out, actions do have consequences.

wc ↠ 14.9k

a/n ↠ lowkey i think i subconsciously drew inspo from the fact that finals week made me consider both suicide and homicide. no jungwoo’s were hurt in the making of this fic. merry christmas! as always, feedback is appreciated!

don’t like it, don’t read.

  ▸ short, sweet, sometimes sticky

it was supposed to be like everybody else.

short, sweet, maybe sticky if you considered that one time you’d shaken that jisung boy’s sweat-coated hands and watched the pale of his face burn the same fierce rose as the lens he saw you through. 

you’d laughed lightheartedly to spare him the embarrassment, telling him that everybody got a little sweaty every now and then, especially you. after all, cheerleading was more than skipping around and twirling. and at those words, you’d watched his eyes haze with the image of you damp with sweat, drenched head to toe.

hook, line, and sinker.

far too easy, exactly how you liked them. smart, easy, and utterly unable to resist you.

no one told you to expect something different from lee jeno. and why would you? he knew all the right answers, had some of the best marks, and practically lived in the library. he perfectly fit the bill of your standard victim.

which was why you had no qualms about approaching him in the library while he was typing away at his laptop, occasionally sipping from some kind of coffee.

as if he could sense he was in imminent danger and needed to evacuate immediately, jeno turned around before you could even make it completely to the table and saw you advancing on him with a pretty, practiced smile. “hi,” you greeted, waving at him. falling, your hands gripped the rear of the chair beside him. “is someone sitting here?”

jeno raised a brow at you, but shook his head. “no, no one’s sitting there.”

“perfect,” you replied, pulling out the chair and taking a seat. you turned so that you were facing him. “jeno, right?”

jeno nodded slowly, wondering where this was going. he got plenty girls, sure, but none ever approached him in the library. “that’s me,” he said, curious. “do i know you?”

“well, probably not,” you replied, giggling as if something was funny. “but, you know… i’m a cheerleader.”

jeno hummed. “are you now?”

you bobbed your head expectantly. “yeah, and i’ve heard about how smart you are. i’m impressed, to be honest. i mean, every time i’m in the library, i see you sitting here. i could never spend so much time here. you must have a lot of resolve to do something like that.”

“you think so?” jeno asked, pretending to be flattered just to see where you were leading him. 

“i do. like, really do,” you replied, brushing your fingers against his forearm. “i just have so many other,” better, “things to do, you know. with cheer, i’m either practicing or resting so that i’ll have energy for practice. it’s really hard on me, you know?”

jeno stifled a chuckle and glanced back at his laptop screen. “you poor thing.”

your brows stitched. he wasn’t paying nearly enough attention to you. it was almost like he was uninterested. “and that’s why i was wondering if you could help me. i mean, you’re such a genius. you could probably do it in half the time it would take me,” you continued, lowering your hand onto his denim-clad thigh, and becoming surprised by how sturdy it felt.

jeno spared a fleeting glance at your hand on his left thigh before his eyes flitted to your face, watching you wink at him and throw him a smile. “let me get this straight,” he started, slowly caressing the back of your hand with his thumb as it sat on his thigh. “you want me to… do your work for you?”

“hey, your hard work wouldn’t go unrewarded,” you insisted, ignoring the unexpected motions of his thumb. “you’d have my attention. i mean, like i said, i don’t have a lot of time to give away. but i’m willing to spend some of it on you.”

jeno snickered, unable to help himself anymore. “are you this patronizing to everyone you meet?” he asked.

your eyes flickered. “p-patronizing?”

jeno smiled, patting your hand before setting it on your own thigh. “sorry, was that a big word for you? you know, when you think you’re too good for something, but you don’t want to say it, so you play sweet and act like you’re helping me, when really, it’s the other way around.”

switching on a dime, you narrowed your eyes at him. for such a pretty boy, he had quite the attitude. “i know what patronizing means. and right now, i think you’re the one being patronizing.”

“am i?” jeno asked, feigning obliviousness. “how’s it taste, cheerleader? doesn’t feel good, does it?”

your face was set in a scowl. sometimes it hurt you to play nice with people, and now was one of those times. “are you gonna help me or not?” you snapped.

“there it is,” jeno sang, chuckling to himself. he put his hand on your thigh now, squeezing the flesh gently. for now. “there’s the real you.”

you swallowed, glaring over at him with a hint of defiance despite the disgusting, foreign feeling rotting in your chest. it had never gone like this before. every situation predating this one had been somewhat predictable, to the point where you’d come to expect certain reactions. this was not that.

“i’ll help you,” jeno said after a pause.

you forced a smile. “great, so…”

jeno interjected, “on one condition.”

smile faltering, you trailed off, processing his words. now he was making some kind of deal with you? who in the hell did this man think he was?

“on one condition?” you echoed, as if you’d somehow misheard him. your brows scrunched in suspicion. “what condition?”

jeno grinned, the look on his face sly as hell and a stark contrast from the disgruntled glower on yours. “give me something in return,” was all he said, the tightening hold on your thigh giving away more than his words had.

you gawked, as if you were offended, and quickly swat at his hand. “i’m not having sex with you, you pervert!”

“sure, you’re not,” jeno answered with a chuckle, eyes twinkling with amusement. everything about you was alluring to him for mostly all the reasons unintended. “but you said i’d have your attention. i guess you think it’s not often a poor, busy nerd like myself gets anyone’s attention, yeah? but nerds get tired too, don’t they? they need to de-stress…”

“that’s not my problem,” you spat. 

“you getting an F isn’t my problem, either,” jeno retorted, shrugging his shoulders. “so what it’s gonna be, cheerleader?”

something about this situation isn’t right to you. maybe it’s the lack of power you currently wielded over him, despite the fact that you had gotten used to having your way with academically competent boys like himself. if he weren’t taller than you and stronger than you, you’d resort to other, more familiar methods.

but jeno had changed the entire trajectory of this interaction for the worse, and now you had to determine whether or not it was beneath you to let him treat you as if you were some kind of object. you sulkily mulled it over, arms folded, trying to think of a way to maintain some semblance of power. “fine,” you finally replied, relenting. “but i’m not doing anything that requires me taking my clothes off.”

“you never seen a good porno, cheerleader?” jeno asked, a stupid, taunting smile blemishing his lips. “that cute little uniform of yours is the whole appeal to some people.”

“my name is…,” you huffed irritably, tired of being referred to by your title. 

“frankly, cheerleader, i don’t care what your name is,” jeno told you with brutal honesty. “you’re the one that introduced yourself as a cheerleader, like that’s your whole personality or something. thinking it would make me fold. you can’t be stupid and demanding.”

you gaped, affronted by the sheer audacity of him to even utter those words to you, like you were some dumb bimbo. “i’m not stupid! i’m just too busy.”

“right. too busy,” jeno echoed, obviously none too convinced. “sorry for assuming.”

with a roll of your eyes, you stood up from the table chair, feeling utterly disrespected. “yeah, you should be,” you said, despite knowing his apology was completely inauthentic. “where’s your phone?”

jeno arched a brow and glanced over to his phone, sitting face down against the table on the other side of him. before he could even respond, you reached over him to grab it and pointed it at his face, unlocking it as if you’d done it a million times before.

then, you started typing away, all the while jeno watched you with an amused expression on his face. he had to admit, you were surely something. and though he found you entertaining, he couldn’t shake the thought that you desperately needed someone to put you in your place.

“reach me here,” you said after a moment, handing him his phone back. the screen was on his messages, a fresh contact with you.  “pleasure doing business with you.”

with that, you walked away. 

jeno shook his head, scoffing. who the hell did you think you were?

over the next few days or so, you met with jeno to better construct exactly what your expectations were pertaining to your work. or at least, those were the words he’d used. most of those limited encounters had ended with his hands sealing around your breasts.

you let it slide, deciding that a little over-the-clothes stuff was relatively harmless. after all, this was the busiest you’d been all year long, and you were far too exhausted when you got home to be burdened with stupid assignments and pesky discussion posts. the next two months, if not the next two weeks, were going to kill you if you didn’t have someone to carry at least half the workload on your behalf.

it was okay. jeno’s inability to keep his hands to himself was fine. it wasn’t like anybody was going to know, or that this arrangement would last long enough for them to find out. you would get to keep your dignity and your grades, without saving one at the expense of the other.

short, sweet, and sticky, remember? maybe the latter was simply manifesting in the way jeno’s hands were stuck to you. not that anything about him was sweet.

more like sacrifice.

  ▸ gilded age

“guess who just made the list of this week’s top ten trending sluts,” jennie said as she walked up beside you and roseanne.

roseanne perked up that, though she couldn’t help but mischievously quip, “you?”

jennie narrowed her eyes. “hoe, as if,” she spat. “i know how to keep my legs closed.”

you snickered. “god, what happened now?”

“a sex tape got leaked. hyeri, and apparently johnny.”

your nose scrunched, as if disgusted. “always knew she was a slut. i mean, you should have been there to see the way she acted around the jocks in high school. her eyes were practically screaming, ‘pick me, choose me, fuck me,’” you mocked.

roseanne burst into giggles, downing the rest of what was left in her red cup. “i don’t think that’s how that goes,” she chimed. “but johnny? is she crazy? i hope they didn’t do it raw. i heard rumors that he’s got the clap.” 

“he sure clapped something, alright,” jennie retorted, much to your amusement. “it was definitely raw. hope it was worth the itch. you guys wanna see?”

“absolutely not,” you said, shaking your head vigorously. “i bet her parents would love to see it, though. on second thought, send me it.”

roseanne gawked. “are you serious?”

you bobbed your head, grinning deviously. “yeah. you guys have no idea what that bitch was like in high school. i tried teaching her a lesson, but she just never learned. it’s like the bitch is addicted to pain or something.”

jennie shook her head, pretending to disapprove, though she was intrigued to see how far you would your obvious loathing. “just sent it.”

your phone vibrated in your hand a few seconds later. you opened your instagram burner account, scrolling through your main’s following to find hyeri’s mother’s page, and dropped the video in her inbox. your sly giggle alerted your friends to your success and you dropped your phone in your pocket, satisfied.

“oh, you’re sick,” jennie insulted playfully, nudging your arm. “i wonder if she’ll say anything.”

you shrugged your shoulders, feigning nonchalance as if you weren’t excited to see how her mother would respond. “don’t know, but i’m more curious about if she’ll talk to hyeri about it. i’d love to be a fly on the myung’s wall when that happens.”

roseanne tapped your shoulder. “hey, don’t look now, but that jeno guy is staring you.”

your head whirled around, spotting jeno in his own corner of the party, indeed watching your every move as if he wanted to consume you and was waiting for the perfect moment to attack. which, if he was, would not be surprising. 

roseanne sighed in annoyance. “i literally just said don’t look now.”

you turned back to face them, shaking your head. “don’t worry about that creep,” you replied, brushing it off. “he’s just begging to get in my pants. didn’t even know he went to parties.”

for whatever reason, jennie laughed. something about what you said tickled her, apparently. “um, yeah. that’s jeno for you, alright. he’s either partying with his friends or grinding in the library, no in between. perfectly balanced lifestyle, i have to admit it.”

your brows furrowed. that was news to you. and probably an important piece of information that you’d conveniently missed when narrowing down your targets. maybe you should have asked around about him more. you just didn’t think that someone who studied as hard as he did could also be the life of the party.

what was he doing here, anyway? shouldn’t he have been off doing your homework? useless fucking nerdy-not.

“do you guys know each other or something?” roseanne pressed, noticing the strange tension in the air despite the fact that you and jeno were feet apart. which was honestly admirable. “do you think you could get him to put me on with jungwoo?”

jennie’s laughter rang out again, only this time, it was much louder, and much more mocking. “please. jungwoo isn’t gonna touch any of us after how she broke his heart. you’d have better luck with jaehyun,” she sneered.

roseanne glared, a snarl on her face. “fuck jaehyun.”

“yeah, i bet you want to. i bet you’re still dreaming of that big, thick, meaty dick you wouldn’t shut up about, like, two months ago.”

“a lot can change in two months.”

“oh, it sure can,” jennie replied, humming. “it sure can.”

  ▸ takes two to tango

jeno: come over

you: no

jeno: that wasn’t a request 

you: no where in our agreement does it say you get to boss me around

jeno: not even for an A?

you: that’s what your grabby hands are for

jeno: i don’t have to do this, you know. i can let you be a grown up and fiend for yourself like the rest of us

you: i’m otw, chill. jesus

the knock of your fist against jeno’s door was incessant, more than likely enough to exasperate his neighbors, given that it was particularly late at night and a good number of them had to have been sleeping.

jeno threw the door open with a scowl, obviously irritated. “you are so fucking annoying,” he hissed, dragging you inside and shutting the door behind you. 

“ow!” you cried out, snatching your arm away. “stop that, i’m sore.”

jeno shook his head, his discontent frown disappearing in favor of an entertained, idiotic smile. “sore, huh? from doing what?”

you rolled your eyes. “if it isn’t obvious, i’m a cheerleader,” you reminded, gesturing down to your uniform. “meaning, i cheer.”

ignoring your snarky attitude, jeno glanced you up in down, taking in the sight of you in that tight, short cheer uniform that clung to you rather snugly. sweat still beaded at your damp legs and likely gathered between your breasts and down your back, as jeno was imagining. “yeah, you cheer. you won’t let me forget,” he said, amused.

“well, i’m busy,” you said, crossing your arms.

busy, my fucking ass, jeno thought to himself. “yeah, you won’t let me forget that, either. and yet, i saw you giggling with your friends at a party two weeks ago, looking completely fine. your poor, exhausted legs seemed to be working perfectly.”

“what, so i can’t have hobbies now?”

“sure, you can,” jeno replied, shrugging his shoulders. “i just have to ask, do you ever do anything productive with your time?”

“of course, i do,” you hissed, before quickly deflecting, “but we both know that’s not why you made me come all the way over here. so, what do you want?”

“your attention,” jeno said without missing a beat. his hands plopped against your bare shoulders and began wandering down your arms, rubbing them back and forth. “i’m in desperate need of a cheerleader’s sweet, precious attention.”

the disgruntled grimace on your face was the most effort you made to express your discomfort, not that he was looking there anyway. to him, at the moment, the sight of your body was much more appetizing. you watched with a repugnant burn simmering in your gaze as his eyes met your long, slender legs.

without warning, jeno grabbed you by your waist and hoisted you into the air, making you cry out in surprise. arms dangling around his neck, you held on for dear life, not an inch of your body feeling safe in his arms. you had been hauled further away from the ground by your cheermates, but this was different; no one wanted to fail, meaning no one would drop you. you had no reason to assume that jeno would handle you delicately.

but his burly arms, however, were not lost on you. though you hadn’t yet seen them in full power, your interactions mostly taking form of him forcing your back flush against the chiseled muscle of his chest as he kneaded yours, you could only imagine what the hands that groped you were capable of. 

in a matter of seconds, you landed on your back against his sheets, another shrill screech escaping your throat. “jeno, what the hell?” you exclaimed. 

“i’m not getting on my knees for you,” jeno said, the slyest of smiles tugging at his lips. “not unless it’s to fuck you. and you’re just too good to give it up, aren’t you?”

for him, definitely. and you would have said so, but your lips parted in a gasp, surprised and startled. something wet pushed along your sore legs, which were abruptly yanked to pillars far above your head so that they’d be more conveniently within reach of jeno’s tongue as he licked long, hot lines at them.

your eyes were rooted on him, fixed in a shape unlike their natural narrowed, black blaze and it would instead be more apt likening them to the fear and fret of a deer in crossed paths. wide, waiting, almost innocent. too used to circumstance to understand its fabric and too unfamiliar to chance to understand its fate.

unsatisfied, jeno bent your knee and pushed your leg further as he stood over the edge of his bed, and, in turn, over you, a grip on your ankles that you could feel in your bones. “jeno, that hurts,” you whined. 

jeno didn’t understand why you were bitching. “but you’re a cheerleader,” he echoed. “aren’t you flexible?”

you writhed uncomfortably as he continued shamelessly, tongue even daring to twist against the bone underneath the bend of your knee, a sensation that itched more than you expected. his lips sealed around your skin, sucking and nibbling.

needless to say, it was unlike anything you had experienced before. “stop, that’s weird!”

“stop complaining,” jeno groaned, pushing your leg even harder. “it’s like all you ever do is complain about how hard your life is.”

your eyes stung now not only with loathing, but the threat of hot tears. it was stupid; it sounded dramatic, but you felt it was warranted when he was the one actively making your life harder. “you’re a fucking weirdo,” you snapped. 

jeno heard it. the slight tremble in your voice despite the courage you’d been feigning. that was the sole reason he even bothered to look up at your face, the tears in them stealing his attention away in a heartbeat. he didn’t know whether to be amused or annoyed, or maybe even both. “god, now you’re crying,” he pointed out. “i haven’t even done anything to you. do you need me to give you a reason to cry?”

you shook your head. all you needed was to go home and recharge. you were beginning to doubt whether or not he was worth the trouble he carried with him in exchange for a grade that would keep your parents off your back, especially if he was going to make pulling stunts like this a regular habit. 

the last thing you expected jeno to do was tug the bottom of your top past the shadow of your breasts, slackening the taut grip on your ankles in favor of your wrists as if he knew you would dare resist him, and burying his face between your chest. you exhaled shakily, mortified by the hot, wet feel of his tongue licking a stripe between your breasts, gathering leftover sweat on its tip.

and you did thrash. but you were getting a taste of that power now; a power that wasn’t your own, a power that you couldn’t reap. a power that grabbed you with its calloused fist with a might so strong you couldn’t move. and it was for the first time that you felt utterly weak. there had to be a word for something as unfathomable as that, but it was so foreign to you that you couldn’t think of it.

to make matters worse, jeno was taking his time, sucking bruises onto the skin of your chest in between his licking, as if he wanted to ensure there was no spot left untouched, no drop of sweat left behind. your face strained with discomfort, wanting more than anything to get away from him and this awful feeling rotting inside of your heart.

maybe your cries for mercy were heard, because no sooner had you hoped for an end than it came. “you can go now,” jeno said, pulling away. he pulled your shirt back down and smoothed out any wrinkles, which was almost kind of him.

even though you were more than eager to be rid of him, you lay there, dumbfounded. it was one thing to be violated, and it was another to be dismissed, but to happen in rapid succession of each other quickly bred some ugly emotion that was only festering.

jeno had expected you to scurry out of his bed, and out of his apartment, so the fact that you were still there bemused him. “what, do you want more?” he teased. 

you shook your head, sitting up a little too quickly. your head started to feel lightheaded. you barked, “that isn’t what i agreed to!”

jeno had the audacity to laugh. like you had told a joke of some kind. “isn’t it? your clothes are still technically on. that was what you agreed to. remember?”

you dropped to your feet, pushing past him. “you’re disgusting,” was all you said, making a beeline for the door.

“takes two to tango, baby,” jeno called after you, simpering.

you didn’t look back. you couldn’t. there was an unpleasant stir in your gut - not as easily distinguishable as the loathing - unlike anything you had ever felt and you desperately wanted it to go away, to rid of yourself of anything that even remotely resembled lee jeno.

  ▸ chess, not checkers

deep, low grunts smacked against the walls and bounced back with almost the same amount of vigor of jeno’s quick, unrelenting hips, the sound nearly as hard and heavy as he was. the only thing rivaling the tightness of the hole he was using was the wince of his closed eyes and the grip of his strong hands.

jeno didn’t want to see. it would be too blatantly obvious that she wasn’t you, and that it wasn’t your blemished hips he was holding. though she sounded nothing like you. he knew that you would have been so much whinier, and despite finding them painfully obnoxious, he found himself longing to hear all your worthless, melodramatic complaints.

instead, he heard soft moans mingling with his own labored sounds as his hips moved with a mind of their own, imagining it was you underneath him where you truly belonged.

the image stained the back of his eyelids, burned behind them every time he closed his eyes; the shortness of your pleated skirt scrunched around your hips, weak legs on his broad shoulders with nicks and bruises scattered here and there, arms swinging aimlessly.

and if he got tired of hearing you, he could simply press his palm squarely against your mouth, muting the sound of your incessant fussing. if he really wanted to put you in your place, he could clasp his hands around your throat and clamp down onto your windpipe till all that escaped you was a pitiful, featherlight squeak.

jeno could tell no one had ever properly put you in your place before, no one had ever stood up to you and reminded you of your level. you were in desperate need of a humbling and didn’t even know it yourself. no one better than jeno for the role, he figured. a little cheerleader parading around in a uniform to feel different from everybody else she met didn’t scare him whatsoever.

the only thing saving you was essentially the fact that you were undeniably pretty and not necessarily to blame for the school’s superficial culture, which elevated girls like you in terms of status despite it having no real meaning or manifestations outside of campus, and put you on top when you were within the bubble.

but outside the bubble, away from the boys who thought of you as this beautiful, unattainable poison and the girls who enabled you with a faux sense of togetherness, you had no real identity, no real power, and no real worth.

and yet, maybe jeno was contributing to the problem. maybe he had inadvertently become one of the people elevating you. because choking in the heat of the moment, he uttered your name, forgetting who he was with and where he was.

hands shoved at him, hard. at least, hard enough for him to be jolted out of his reverie, finally gazing into the eyes that seethed because of him. “did you just call me that evil witch’s name?” seoa barked.

jeno winced. that was a fair reaction, all things considered. he wouldn’t have wanted to have been called your name out of everyone’s, either. he rubbed his nape. “well…”

“unbelievable,” seoa replied, scoffing. she got out of the bed and hurriedly began picking her clothes up from the floor, redressing herself.

jeno exhaled a breath, mostly annoyed that his orgasm had been ruined, but still feeling a hint of sympathy. “seoa, wait,” he said, touching her shoulder.

seoa recoiled, pulling away. jeno had never seen anyone be so ready to put on their pants after being with him, not even with a hell of a schedule after. “never touch me again,” she spat, walking out with her shoes in tow. “fuck you.”

jeno ran a hand through his hair, watching her leave, and murmured under his breath, “god dammit.”

a few days later, while they were attending a festival, jaemin marched over to jeno, draping an arm over his shoulder, and asked, “wanna tell me why seoa blocked all of us and she’s been glaring at me and mark since she got here?”

jeno snickered, shaking his head in slight disbelief. he was over it by now, he figured she would be too. “i let a certain cheerleader’s name slip while i was balls deep inside her,” he confessed. which he wasn’t necessarily proud of, considering the only reason he even knew your name was because you’d saved your own contact on his phone.

jaemin’s brows furrowed, glancing around as if he was trying to spot you in the crowd like a heat-seeking missle. “who?”

rolling his eyes, jeno grabbed the back of jaemin’s head with one hand and turned it in your general direction, hoping it would help. and jeno knew it had when jaemin’s confusion melted into disgust. 

“oh, that bitch?” he asked, nose wrinkled.

jeno chuckled, releasing his friend’s head. “she’s a bitch, but she’s pretty.”

jaemin couldn’t argue with that fact even if he’d wanted to. “yeah, i’ll give her that. cute in the face. she’s fake as hell, though. played jungwoo like a fiddle. he did six months worth of her homework because she promised they’d get together.”

that was news to jeno. he knew you were cruel, having had stories from jisung and the like, but he never knew of your history with jungwoo. if it could be called that. “did they fuck?” he couldn’t help but ask.

jaemin shook his head, taking a sip from the bottle in his hand before he answered, “he said she always turned him down. told him she was waiting for ‘the perfect moment.’”

now that was funny as hell. jeno had only known you for a few weeks and yet even he quickly pieced together that you weren’t the romantic type. “well, that’s fucked up,” he said, happily accepting yet another reason to dislike you. “but he’s dumb as fuck if he did her homework for six months without getting a crumb of pussy in return.”

jaemin made a face, nodding. “yeah,” he exhaled, giving the impression that he’d wanted to defend jungwoo. “but man, what possessed you to say her name while fucking the seoa? i need a good excuse. you just blew my shot with her.”

jeno shrugged. “don’t have one. she approached me maybe three weeks ago asking me to do her homework, and i agreed.”

jaemin gawked. that didn’t sound like jeno. like at all. “man, what? is she paying you?”

“oh, dividends,” jeno quipped.

“oh, and in what? pussy?”

“nope.”

jaemin looked horrified. he was so damn dramatic. “then, why the hell are you doing her bidding? that doesn’t sound like you.”

it didn’t, not immediately, but jeno had his reasons. “entertainment purposes,” he replied curtly.

jaemin shook his head, taking another swig of his drink. certainly, he was drinking, not smoking. “you’re becoming her pawn for entertainment purposes? unbelievable, bro.”

“chess, not checkers, jaem.” jeno smirked, putting a hand on jaemin’s shoulder. “you’ll see.”

▸ things good guys do 

“you’re lucky i was already out,” jeno told you when you let him into your apartment. “it’s the middle of the night for fuck’s sake. what do you want?”

“oh, please,” you spat, damn near rolling your eyes. your arms were folded. “you get to call me over at the ungodly hour, but when i do it, it’s a problem?”

jeno exhaled through his nose and ran a hand through his hair, wondering why he bothered to come here when he had no obligation to do your bidding, as jaemin had put it. but something told him that he wouldn’t have any regrets. “yeah, it is. now, what do you want?”

you were silent for a few moments, somewhat ashamed of the request you would ultimately make. you sighed, surrendering. “i need help with calculus,” you finally said.

jeno’s shoulders drooped, eyes shrinking in a contemptuous disbelief. “seriously?”

“seriously,” you repeated, sitting down on your couch as your laptop screen glared back at you from the coffee table.

jeno groaned, “i seriously don’t know how you even got into this school. can’t you do anything by yourself?”

you gawked, affronted. he made you sound like some incompetent, immature dickhead. “contrary to a weirdly popular belief, i’m actually really smart,” you insisted, having the transcripts to prove it. “but my professor sucks and i need an eighty-nine on my final to keep my A. and it’s not like you can walk in and take it for me because it’s proctored.”

jeno shook his head and reminded, “you know this little agreement we have doesn’t include me tutoring you, right?”

“it didn’t include you assaulting me, either,” you retorted.

“you think that was assault?” jeno asked, scoffing. he dropped beside you on your couch, the proximity instinctively making you suck in a breath. “if i wasn’t a good guy, i’d show you assault.”

scooting over to ensure maximum distance between your bodies, you argued, “good guys don’t call themselves good guys.”

“good guys have self-control,” jeno replied matter-of-factly, resisting a chuckle. he didn’t make a move to touch you, but he noticed how tense you looked now that he was sitting beside you. “i’ll tutor you, but we’ll have to up the terms of our agreement.”

you swallowed sharply, throat bobbing. you had a feeling you weren’t going to enjoy these new terms. “what do you want?”

“a blowjob.”

“that’s disgusting,” you spat without a second thought, features contorting with repugnance.

jeno quipped, “and so is your inability to do your school work without using and depending on every intelligent boy you meet, but hey, i’m sure you can’t help that.”

you sighed, exasperated, and cradled your face in your hands. was this seriously what your life had come to? giving a boy a blowjob in exchange for a pretty transcript?

jeno grinned, appreciating the sight of you in distress. it was a sign, a good sign, and he intended to bring it out of you more and more, bleeding you absolutely dry. lowering a hand onto your thigh, he urged, “come on, bruise those little knees for me. don’t you bruise ‘em for cheer?”

“that’s not the same!” you whined. 

“of course, it’s not,” jeno said, squeezing your thigh as his shoulders trembled with laughter. “cheer isn’t helping you graduate with flying colors.”

you desperately wanted him to be wrong, you were begging for him to be wrong, but you both knew that if he was, he wouldn’t have been here with you at the moment. not now, not three weeks ago, not ever. so you sucked it up, slamming down your laptop lid, and grumbled, “fine.”

maybe he didn’t come here for nothing, after all. grateful he’d trusted his gut, jeno stood up and clutched your arm to pull you along with him. “come on, let’s go to your room. i like my blowjobs a little messy and i’m sure you don’t want to mess up your nice carpet.”

you snatched your arm away from him, hating his insistence on touching you for every little reason whenever he possibly could, even if it was insignificant. your mouth was taut as you begrudgingly headed for your bedroom.

it was obvious that you were sour. walking behind you, jeno couldn’t help but chime, “glad to see that you can at least walk by yourself!”

you bristled in annoyance, wishing you could just get rid of him, but you knew it wouldn’t be wise to discard him so quickly. at least for now, he still held some kind of value.

jeno walked in behind you, looking particularly radiant, and you hated that you knew why. hell, you hated the reason itself. “get on your knees,” he commanded.

normally, you would complain about him giving you orders as if you were his lap dog or something, but you just wanted to get this over with. you were already so over this entire week. you slowly dropped to your knees, trying to ignore how demeaning it felt. 

“good girl,” jeno praised at your compliance. “now, look up at me with those pretty eyes and ask me to help you with calc. ask me nicely.”

you met his eyes, noticing the expectant glimmer in his gaze that you so badly wanted to knock off. but you weren’t dumb enough to incite violence against a grown man that walked around with his bulging muscles on display for all the world to see, and you didn’t doubt that he would hit you back. “jeno, please help me with calculus,” you pleaded, choosing your battles.

jeno hummed, satisfied. “you sound so pretty and sweet when you ask nicely, instead of demanding things. didn’t know you were capable of that,” he told you, running his fingers through your hair. “take it out. get me hard.”

your hands moved to his sweatpants, tugging at them enough to bring them down just shy of his knees, and doing the same with his underwear. he wasn’t hard yet, but that would be an easy fix; witnessing your state of pure anguish, watching you speak and move as if you were totally dejected, always excited him.

not to mention that the sight of you on your knees for him, the more he took it in, was arousing him even more than he thought it would. he had pictured it in his mind before, you serving him, pleasuring him, existing solely for him, but nothing could compare to the sight he beheld now.

at least, nothing other than you actually doing something rather than sitting there like an idiot. he liked taking control, but he figured you would take matters into your own hands, literally, when he gave the order. “do you need me to tell you what to do or something?” he asked, huffing irritably. “put your tongue on it. tease the head.”

your face and ears burned in ways they rarely did, but you nodded wordlessly and did as told, bracing your hands on his thighs and reluctantly pressing your tongue onto his tip, looking anywhere but his eyes as the muscle swirled around.

that amused jeno to no end. at least for now, he would let it slide, not feeling the need to maintain eye contact with you at the moment. if he needed to, he would simply just grab a nice, thick fistful of your hair and yank it back to jolt your head up at him. he could still see your pretty, bare face, hair arranged messily at the top of your head with a few needless strands jutting out here and there.

he liked that. of course, he would have been more than enthusiastic to have you suck him off if you’d been all dolled up, making you ruin your makeup and undo at least an hour of careful, clean work, but he also just took pleasure in seeing this natural, undone part of you. he wanted to see you for what you really were.

it didn’t take long for him to get hard. with all his thoughts revolving around you and the feel of your tongue on the head of his dick, that was a no-brainer. “good, now put it in your mouth. take as much as you can and not an inch less,” jeno instructed.

widening your mouth, you accepted his stout, heavy cock into your mouth, lips forming a tight suction around the head and steadily advancing down his shaft. bit by bit, inch by nightmarishly thick inch. you had made it maybe halfway down his shaft when you quickly discovered your limit.

jeno was surprisingly content, despite the fact that you definitely still had a few more inches to go. “there you go,” he said, giving your head a soft pat of approval. “suck. go slow. and don’t you dare let me feel any teeth.” 

your heart was thumping out of something you could only understand as fear, even though jeno hadn’t done anything to warrant it yet. inhaling through your nose, you tried to level your breathing, taking your time to draw in his cock lest you made a mistake. the hint of warning in jeno’s voice, in spite of the calmness, was clear.

jeno, on the other hand, was reaching elysian heights. faint grunts of, “fuck,” escaped his pink lips, large hands at his sides reflexively tensing into tightly clenched fists in need of something to grab, hips just barely stuttering. your mouth was hot and wet, with the added benefit of your torturous tongue pressed against his size.

there was a pinch of desperacy in your actions that overcame the resistance; a desperacy not necessarily to please him, but to appease him. accidents were the last thing you could afford and eliciting his frustration was the last thing you wanted.

“lick,” jeno said, chest undulating. “up and down.”

with a hum, you started drawing long, wet lines back and forth on his veiny shaft, almost as if you were tracing the bold veins with your tongue. jeno’s reaction was instantaneous, deep groans the only thing you could hear other than the wet sound of your mouth on his cock, sucking and licking. 

jeno’s eyes fluttered closed. “fuck. yeah, like that.”

you pressed your tongue against the underside of his dick, lingering in each spot for a moment before you continued, mostly because he seemed to like it when you did. which was your north star in an empty, dead night, because you had not a clue what the hell you were doing and you were afraid of making it obvious somehow.

if jeno could tell, he didn’t make it known. he was in a world of his own, all too happily reaping the pleasure from your mouth as if it was a dream come true for him. “kiss my balls. lick it.”

you stifled the sigh you were half tempted to let loose, pulling off his cock with a wet sound and a string of saliva connecting from the sticky tip to your glossy lips. moving your head, you took a moment to steel yourself before peppering tiny, soft kisses along his balls, down to his scrotum.

it wasn’t the most dignifying thing you had ever done, it may have even been the least, but your aching, sore jaw appreciated the break from sucking. you dragged your tongue over his testicles, tasting nothing but rubbery flesh. you were too busy avoiding his eyes to notice, but his face was tensing with pleasure, lips parting in low murmurs.

compared to when you first started, jeno was drastically harder now, massive, monstrous cock nearly bursting at the veins with precum leaking out from the thick tip. had your goal been to take all of him entirely, the sheer size of him would have immediately overwhelmed you.

“switch to your hand and go back to sucking me off,” jeno said, firm yet quiet. it sounded like he was trying to restrain himself, barely holding it together.

at least you were a fast learner. teasing the head of his cock, you gave it a few slow, tentative licks before you began to take him into your mouth again, all the while gently fondling his balls with your fingers. jeno groaned, arching into your touch. he couldn’t help himself.

you could taste the vicious amount of precum staining your tongue and you didn’t know how to describe it, other than slightly tart. the flavor blended with that of your own saliva, lingering on the roof of your mouth and the warm flesh underneath the flap of your tongue, mild as could be.

at least it wasn’t downright awful. you had heard stories before, not that you’d ever known what to make of them, or even pictured yourself being inside of them. if a month ago, someone had told you that you’d be on your knees for a man - for anyone - you would have said they were delusional.

jeno’s patience had worn thin and when you least expected it, he hauled you into the air, making you cry out in surprise just as you had the first time he’d lifted you into his buff, meaty arms. he tossed you onto the bed, just shy of the headboard, and suddenly straddled your chest. you gasped out a breath.

“open up,” jeno said, cock positioned right in front of your mouth.

not that he gave you the time to obey him, because he pressed himself against your slightly parted lips and forced them wider, entering your mouth on his own. your face strained, perfectly threaded brows tugging down into a discontented arch.

when you tried to pull away, jeno grabbed the sides of your face and pushed you onto his shaft with trembling hands, making you take him and leaving no room for escape, not until he decided he was done with you. there was only one concern present in his mind and that was getting himself off.

tears stung your eyes, that same implacable feeling you had when he’d dragged his tongue over the expanse of your soft, shaved legs and bare, sweaty chest finding you again in the most of unwanted company. jeno scoffed, spitefully tugging at your hair. “you know what’s funny? you’re such a fucking crybaby. you can’t take even half of what you give to others.”

chin flush against his scrotum and your nose not even an inch away from his bush, you almost gagged. the slurping sounds were humiliating, loud, wet squelching with every other big gulp making you want to shrink. however, jeno loved it, obsessing over the idea of making a mess out of you. the sound went straight to his dick.

jeno held your face in that low position, deeper than you’d ever taken him so far. “i’m really not that bad of a guy, you know,” jeno said, sounding like he truly believed it. you could have scoffed, if not for obvious reasons. “you just bring it out of me. i’m really just treating you like how you treat everybody else.”

he made you sound like something straight out of hell and you couldn’t help but think it was an unfair justification for something that felt too close to punishment. he obviously thought he knew you better than he did and it made you aggravated. that, or he somehow thought he was better than you.

there was a fleeting second of relief when jeno unmounted your chest and let you breathe, only to be crushed again when he dragged you by your wrists to the edge of your mattress, leaving you in the deep end. your eyes struggled to grasp with the flipped image of him nearing you, cock back down your throat before you could even blink.

though his hips thankfully had been moving at a calmer, steady pace before, despite forcing himself deeper than you could handle, he began to thrust more urgently into your mouth with the new change, embedding himself even further into your throat than you knew was possible. 

you cried harder, hating every second of it. the salty, bitter tang of your tears mingled with the tainted taste of spit and sharp bite of precum that had come to stain your chin and cupid’s bow. the vigor of his movements was overwhelming, overpowering.

“that’s it, cheerleader. cry harder,” jeno taunted, tracing his thumb over your face to swipe at the trail of tears. all the while his hips were moving faster, harder.

it felt like such a mockery, him doing that. a feigned act of sympathy while perpetuating the torment that was reducing you to tears as a selfish means of achieving pleasure of his own. 

then, his hands wandered down to your breasts, slipping inside your night shirt and mauling your chest. running his hands in a circle, his thumb brushed the erect, colored nipples and he clasped his hands around your chest, squeezing your breasts. “fuck, i’m close,” he grunted, grip tightening, pace hastening, force increasing. 

with how close he was, your nose was squarely against his the flesh of his balls, effectively cutting off your exhale. your heart thudded, racing and pounding. tensing with panic, your hands frantically moved, striking at his navel and thighs. even your legs were in alarm, unstill towards the other end of the bed. 

jeno groaned, smacking your cheek. another slap followed the sizzle, straight against your chest. “calm the fuck down,” he hissed, raising his arm in preparation to hit you again. “i’ll let you breathe as soon as i come, so you better not get in the way, if you know what’s good for you.”

even if you wanted to, you couldn’t stay calm. your body physically couldn’t handle it, responding the only way it knew how, trying to protect you. somebody had to. you closed your eyes, face warm with tears and panic, and you tried to brace your hands on the sheets, anything to comfort and stabilize yourself.

it got to a point where jeno couldn’t hold back anymore and he climaxed with a prolonged, guttural groan, hips still brutally smacking into your mouth as he painted your tongue and the back of your throat with his cum. he went as far as to grab your head again, forcing himself onto you as deep as he could go, and demanding, “swallow it.”

like hell you would. you pushed him away, coughing and choking as soon as you did, drops of cum pooling from your mouth and some of it flying here and there in the midst of your coughing fit.

irritated, jeno pressed his tongue against the roof his mouth. “you’re so fucking useless,” he groaned, grabbing his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants and quickly turning on the camera. “look at you. sitting here choking on my cum. you want it again, don’t you?”

you sat up, nearly tumbling over the edge of your bed from the intense convulsing, and turned to face the other way as you hunched over, tightly clasping your sheets. “fuck off, you got what you wanted!” you rasped.

jeno laughed. you sounded so gravelly. “you’re right. i did,” he replied, putting back on his pants and pocketing his phone. “so, tutoring. i’ll see you tomorrow. nighty night, cheerleader.”

he gave you a pat on the head and turned, heading straight for the door.

▸ hard feelings

something about today was different than usual. 

when you woke up, you had felt a shift in the air, but you’d chalked it up to being nervous about the final you had in three hours.

but when you finally went to go take it, however, you quickly realized that the unsettling feeling you had was not simply pre-exam jitters. it was something much more sinister than that. with the status you held on campus, you were used to being watched and gawked at, but this was different.

it felt like everybody and their mother was looking at you.

you were confused. you had been the subject of this much attention before, but only once; it was a couple years back when someone had spread a dirty, foul rumor about you. there was a social media page for your school called top ten, mostly used to shame women for their sexual exploits, but some men made their way on it too. that was how you heard about johnny’s clap rumor.

long story short, a rumor about you had originated there and it had taken you weeks to clear your name. but by that time, there was already another slut of the week. you were lucky to have your situation not only be false and debunked, but word of mouth. only the most unlucky of people, like hyeri, got images or videos of themselves posted.

and you were a community favorite. you would understand if you were new, but you had built a reputation around here. why would anybody believe floating rumors about you now?

but the abundance of stares didn’t end there. even in the cafe, you had caught someone watching you a little too hard to be a casual leer of admiration. and you were determined to find out why.

fortunately, you were able to find jennie and roseanne walking and talking in the courtyard, and you called out their names to stop them.

jennie turned first, and you watched her smile drop in real time. she glanced around, frantic, as if she was worried about someone watching her too.

roseanne smiled thinly, halfheartedly lifting her hand to wave. “hey,” she greeted quietly, matching jennie’s nerves.

they knew something you didn’t and it was glaringly obvious. “what’s going on?” you asked. “everyone’s looking at me and i know i’m not going crazy yet.”

jennie and roseanne glanced between each other, as if they both had bad news but neither of them wanted to be the one to tell you. after a few seconds, jennie groaned and said, “you might want to check top ten.”

your brows furrowed. you, on top ten? again? god, people could be so infuriating. “ugh, what rumor did they spread about me this time?”

jennie winced, which only made you more anxious. “it’s not just a rumor,” she whispered. “…it’s a video.”

“video?” you echoed in disbelief. that didn’t make sense. you hadn’t been with anyone except…except jeno. you tensed with anger.

roseanne opened her phone to show you the video that had been posted. it was an anonymous submission that claimed to be a recording of you. unfortunately, it was you, bits of your chest exposed from jeno reaching into your shirt and drops of cum landing there as you fought for breath. your face wasn’t visible, but there were some other distinguishing signs, like your hair and skin and sheets.

your heart thudded and your shoulders went cold, but your eyes were scalding. you were well aware that jeno didn’t like you, you didn’t exactly love him either, but you never thought he would stoop low enough to hurt you like this.

“i’m sorry,” roseanne apologized, dropping her phone in her purse when you were done. the video was only a few seconds long, but the damage was forever. “but don’t worry. it’s not like it’s top three worthy. everyone will move on next week.”

jennie nodded in agreement and briefly patted your back. “yeah. we’ll hang out again when this all blows over, i promise.”

then, they walked away. leaving you reeling with ache and betrayal. your friends didn’t want to be seen with you anymore. you were an embarrassment.

you swallowed the bitter feeling scorching up your throat and tapped your pockets for your phone, knowing there was one person you needed to see. 

you: you and i need to talk. right now.

jeno: about what?

you: don’t play dumb, i know you sent that video in!

jeno: maybe u should have swallowed

you: you know what, i don’t need you. i never have. and i don’t want your help anymore. just leave me alone

jeno: [one attachment]

jeno: you sure about that? because i’m sure there’s plenty of people that would love to see the version with your face in it

you gawked, hiding your phone screen against your chest while glancing around to make sure no one could see.

adjusting your brightness, you unlocked your phone again and texted him back hurriedly.

you: why are you doing this?! i’ve never done anything to you

jeno: this is bigger than just you and me

jeno: now if you don’t want everyone to see that pretty face, come put those lips around me again and we can work something out

and that was how it started. though you hadn’t had the upper hand in weeks, this was the moment you completely lost it. what was once an arrangement for him to help you in exchange for your attention became a hole of misery that you couldn’t dig yourself out of.

one blowjob became two, and two became three until you started to immediately recognize what it meant when you saw his name appear on your screen, knowing what it was before he even asked. not that he ever technically asked. it was always a command, a claim to your body wherever and whenever he wanted.

if you tried to be strong, if you tried to break free of him, he always threatened to make sure that recordings of you on your knees for him went up for all the world to see and no one would ever think of you the same way again. he was more than willing to taint the pretty, perfect image of yourself that you presented to the world.

you felt stuck, trapped. isolated with nowhere to go, no way out. you tried to conjure up a way to escape this situation, but you couldn’t think of anything feasible. if you wanted to protect what was left of your social life and dignity, if you wanted to go outside without being ashamed, your only option was to be compliant.

no matter how many late nights and sore throats you had to go through.

you were in the middle of dozing off, your head leaning off to the side, when the sound of your phone ringing suddenly jolted you awake. you were tempted to ignore it until you saw the contact and begrudgingly pressed the phone to your ear. “hello?” you grumbled.

“i’ve been texting you,” jeno said, sounding miffed.

you sighed, glancing over at the clock on your nightstand. “it’s literally two in the morning,” you complained. “i just got home from cheer practice and i’m trying to study for my last final. i haven’t even showered yet.”

“aw, poor thing,” jeno crooned, pretending to care. “come over.”

you heartless, selfish bastard, you snapped in your head. of course, you were in no place to say that out loud, so you settled for a calm, “okay,” and hung up.

stifling a yawn, you grabbed your keys and lazily stepped into a nearby pair of shoes, stretching your arms above your head before willing yourself to get up from your desk chair. then, you accidentally scraped your leg against the bottom drawer of your desk, which you’d accidentally left open. 

“ow!” you cried out, bending down a little. “god, why does this world hate me? what did i do wrong?”

it was a wonder you managed to make it to jeno’s apartment without getting into a wreck, although at this point, you wouldn’t care if you had as long as it killed you. or put you into an indefinite coma.

on the other hand, jeno seemed strangely enthusiastic to see you and looked full of life and energy. “there you are, cheerleader,” he said, pulling you in to hug you from behind. he led you over to his couch, much like he always did. 

you covered your mouth with your elbow as you yawned. “can we get this over with? i’m sleepy.”

jeno chuckled. “i don’t want you to suck me off. not right now.”

your brows furrowed, wondering if you had heard him right. if not for that, then why were the hell were you here?

“i’m sad,” jeno said, not even attempting to keep the smug smile off his face. “i need you to cheer me up.”

you blinked at him like he was stupid. “cheer… you up?”

jeno nodded his head, glancing you over with a grin. you looked like hell. partly because you were so obviously exhausted, but he knew he’d been having an effect on you too. “yeah, cheer me up. you’re a cheerleader,” he reminded, sounding proud of himself. “i want you to do your routine for me.”

you gawked in disbelief and whined, “i’m not even in my uniform.”

“so?” jeno asked. “those bones might be tired, but they still work. matter of fact, take everything off.”

you were quick to exclaim, “what the hell? jeno, can i please just do it later? everything hurts.”

“take everything off,” jeno repeated, his voice more stern this time. “and move your ass.”

defeated, you reluctantly began to peel off your clothes, ignoring the way jeno shamelessly ogled you for the sake of your own comfort and tugging your shirt from above your head. you couldn’t even look at him as you abashedly stepped out of your shorts and panties.

what was even more mortifying was having to perform every stupid little routine for him with your entire body on display and your chest bouncing with every motion. putting on the sweet, forced smile and calling out the chants you’d memorized, all the while ignoring how your bones ached.

when you were done, he made you sit in his lap so he could touch you as he pleased, paying no mind to the way you squirmed uncomfortably.

you cried enough tears to occupy a sixth ocean the next day. you weren’t exactly sure why. you just remembered miraculously waking up in your bed, sitting up and staring into empty space, and the water crashing down after a few minutes. it took you even longer to notice you were sobbing.

after a couple of meaningless hours, you got the random urge to call your moan, yearning to hear her voice. “mommy?” you said when she picked up.

“she calls,” your mother chirped, pleasantly surprised. “hi, baby. i was starting to wonder if you’d forgotten about little ole’ me. you know, you never come see me anymore.”

you forced yourself to laugh, trying to strip your voice of the agony so that she wouldn’t notice. “i know. i’m sorry,” you apologized quietly. “i’ll come see you soon.”

“you better,” your mother snapped playfully, no real malice in her voice. “now, what’d you call me for? and don’t say just to check up on me, because that’s a damn lie.”

“i miss you,” you confessed. 

“a lie don’t care who tell it.”

“ma,” you groaned, knowing she was just messing around. “i swear i do.”

“mm-hm,” your mother hummed. you could already picture her in your head, eyeing you with suspicion, arms folded over her chest. “let me guess why you really called. you’re having boy trouble.”

your eyes flickered in surprise. how did she know? you doubted it was exactly what she was thinking, but she was close enough. “yeah, something like that.”

there was no doubt that your mother sounded excited. you had always seem thoroughly uninterested in boys and dating, and while she was thankful when you were a teenager, it was a little worrying now. “it’s about time,” she said, clasping her hands together. “tell me all about it.”

you sighed, wondering how you could tell her about jeno without making her fret. she had gotten all pumped, you didn’t want to tear her down and ruin everything. “well, there’s this guy i met almost two months ago. at first, i didn’t feel anything for him. he was just another boy, you know. someone i could keep around for a good time, not a long one.”

your mother hummed again. you could hear metal pans clacking against her counter and assumed she was cooking. she always did that. 

taking a deep breath, you continued, “but everything changed. he’s different from every other guy i’ve dealt with. he doesn’t just do what i say because i say so. and as the weeks passed, he’s started listening to me less and less than he already was.”

your mother chuckled. “and you didn’t like that, huh? got your mother’s stubborn heart and indomitable spirit.”

in truth, you didn’t think you had half of your mother’s strength, but you would never tell her that. as far as she knew, everything was going perfectly in the life you’d created here on campus. and it probably was the last time you’d spoken to her. “yeah,” you replied, wishing that were true. “i don’t like it. he makes me feel something i’ve never felt before.”

“he makes you feel powerless,” your mother told you. “he’s got you feeling weak because he’s the first man you’ve ever met willing to stand up to you. trust me, i was surprised the first time too. that’s how you got here.”

“ma,” you groaned with a wince.

she laughed. the sound made you happy, something you hadn’t been so certain you were capable of feeling anymore. “i’m just keeping it real.”

you thought about her words. she may have been way off in her perception of what this relationship between you and jeno really was, but she wasn’t wrong about how he made you feel. weak, powerless. suddenly, this consuming feeling you’d been having for weeks finally had a name, and yet that made it even harder to come to terms with.

because you didn’t want to be powerless. you wanted to be in charge, in control. you hated when things didn’t go your way, and more importantly, you hated when there was nothing you could do about it. it was supposed to be you wielding power over people’s head, not being crushed beneath the weight of tyranny.

and it was then you fully realized the scope of your feelings; you absolutely hated lee jeno.

▸ cheerleader? breed her! 

standing there in a skimpy dress, face done and your feet clamped in heels that made you four inches taller, you didn’t feel like yourself.

you thought that you would. in truth, you hadn’t feel like yourself in months. today marked a little over two months since you made the mistake of beginning that agreement with jeno and you regretted it more than anything. he had completely ruined you, your life, and everything that made you feel whole.

there were pieces of yourself that you would never get back, thanks to him. it was true that everyone had forgotten about the ordeal regarding the recording of you, but not without cost. it was a price you were still paying everyday; even when you weren’t on your knees or otherwise commiting demeaning acts for the sake of jeno’s entertainment, you were hurting and mourning yourself.

you were starting to wonder if it was worth it. obviously, you liked being respected amongst your fellow students, but you were no longer certain if their respect was worth the price of your sanity. it was hard for you to even have basic interactions without giving away how incredibly lonely and isolated you felt, how trapped and doomed you were. helpless and powerless.

jeno came up behind you, startling you. he was like a wolf and you were a little lamb masquerading as a wolf. “there you are, baby,” he said, snaking his hands around your waist. he seemed to love doing that. “did you know our anniversary was a few days ago?”

you scoffed. the two-month anniversary of the worst decision of your life to date. there was nothing you would’ve give to undo it. doing your homework yourself would have spared you so much unnecessary pain. “stop doing that,” you whined, scanning the party. “someone will see.”

jeno chuckled, clearly not giving a damn. “unlike someone, i don’t really care what people think about me.”

you wished you didn’t care. there would always be a part of you that cared, that was so afraid of what people could say about her that she would do anything to tailor her image perfectly. matter of fact, it was all you had cared about in high school, and every year after that was spent maintaining the brand.

jeno’s hand went from your waist to your ass, making you tense in his grasp. “you know, i think i deserve some kind of compensation for putting up with you for two months.”

you deserved that too. freedom. being unshackled from his cruel, unrelenting orders was the one thing you wanted most and the one thing he refused to give you. “don’t you have your compensation almost every day?” you asked irritably.

“that’s not nearly enough,” jeno insisted, squeezing your ass.

god, how greedy could someone be? it was like he wanted to bleed you dry until there was nothing left.

“you know what i want?” jeno asked huskily, leaning into your ear. “i wanna fuck you.”

your eyes widened a little. you had hoped this day would never come, even though you weren’t oblivious to the fact that jeno had steadily gotten bolder in his interactions with you, the things he made you do for his satisfaction becoming entirely more erotic. 

grabbing your arm, jeno started to lead you away. “come on, let’s go.”

you rooted in place, nearly stumbling. you didn’t want to go anywhere with him, especially if it meant putting up with his insatiable urges. “jeno, i don’t want to,” you said, trying to push at him.

jeno scoffed, wondering when you would realize that he didn’t care what you wanted and you had no way of winning. “if you want to make a scene in front of all these lovely people, be my guest,” he hissed in your ear.

panicked, you glanced around the crowd in search of someone that could save you. it was like everybody was looking at you until you actually needed them to. 

then, you locked eyes with jungwoo. matter of fact, it seemed like he’d been looking at you much before you’d even glanced in his general direction. he saw you, saw the way jeno was holding you roughly, saw the obvious stiffness on your face, saw the pleading look in your eyes; but ultimately, jungwoo saw the image of you letting him down after bleeding him dry for half a year, and he turned away.

your shoulders slumped in defeat.

jeno started dragging you toward the stairs, pushing past a bunch of drunk people dancing on each other. your heart was thumping, and your whole body was rigid with nerves as you tried to think of a way out of this even though you knew there was no option without consequences.

just your luck, the bathroom jeno hauled you too was empty. he pushed you in and locked the door, pressing you against the counter. you gasped and glanced at your reflection in the mirror, hardly recognizing yourself. “jeno, please,” you whispered, trying to plead with him. “please, don’t do this.”

jeno didn’t seem moved by your begging, but he did, however, appear amused. “why are you acting so sensitive about this after all we’ve done together? it’s like you’ve never gotten fucked or something.”

you swallowed, not saying a word. 

the silence was very loud, very telling. jeno arched a brow, a realization dawning on him. “you really have never been fucked,” he said, surprised. “damn, i should have figured that out when you were acting like you never sucked dick before.”

your face flushed with heat. it wasn’t like you were necessarily embarrassed about it, not until now. you had always taken it as something to pride yourself on, being fuckable but untouchable. “you say that like it’s a bad thing,” you replied, glancing down at the sink to avoid eye contact.

jeno chuckled. it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but he had been convinced that you were completely pretending to be a goody two-shoes. to know there was at least one percent of you that was still pure amazed him. he lifted the skirt of your dress with his hand and brought it between your legs, asking, “what, you just never find anyone worthy enough for your perfect, sacred pussy?”

you gasped out when he touched you there. his fingers circled your clothed cunt, thumb digging into your inner thigh. feeling scandalized, you grumbled, “maybe i’m just not interested.”

jeno shook his head, astonished by the amount of attitude you still had after all these months and determined to break it out of you. “and maybe i just don’t care if you’re interested or not.”

it went without saying that jeno always made you feel like some kind of object, but this was next level. “this is dehumanizing!” you exclaimed. 

hearing you, of all people, talk about dehumanizing made for an interesting conversation. big, calloused hand pressing harder into you, he asked tauntingly, “doesn’t feel good, does it?”

your glossy, painted lips were parted, unable to breathe through your nose. your eyes burned with the threat of tears and it was becoming second nature for them to shed whenever jeno was nearby. “i don’t understand,” you whimpered, trying to free yourself, but to no avail. “why are you doing this to me? what have i ever done to deserve this?”

jeno could feel you struggling, trying to push him off you, but all it did was move your hips against his rapidly hardening cock. he groaned, grabbing hold of your ass and pushing you further back against him. “fuck, just like that,” he growled. “haven’t i told you this already? this is bigger than you and me.”

it wasn’t lost on you that jeno obviously had heard stories about you from other people, stories of happenings you probably couldn’t deny, but it had nothing to do with him. “look, if you’re doing all this to get back at me because i hurt one of your friends or something, i’m sorry, i really am. but i can’t do this anymore, jeno. i want to stop, please. please let me go on with my life.”

“what a privileged response,” jeno hissed without concealing his vitriol. at the same time, he kept palming you over your panties, noticing them beginning to cling to your cunt, and tore your underwear to the side to insert a pair of fingers inside. “what about all those girls whose lives you ruined? i’m sure they wanted you to stop. and you didn’t until they were too humiliated to show their faces around here again and you had no choice.”

you swallowed the lump in your throat. he knew about the girls? “jeno, i haven’t done that since freshman year,” you told him, desperately trying to reason with him.

two loud, harsh smacks echoed in the tiny, crowded space of the bathroom, followed by a gasp consequently. your pussy stung, your head jerking around to look at jeno. “do you really think that matters?” he asked, grabbing your hair to turn you back around just as quickly, as if you didn’t deserve to look at him. “you think that matters when the pain you’ve done to them is permanent? they don’t forget. and they damn sure don’t forgive you.”

you tensed, hating the way your walls were gripping and gushing around his fingers. “so what? you think you’re god or something? is this you punishing me for my sins? you’re not exactly what i would call a saint, either.”

“me and you, we’re not the same,” jeno remarked, a nip to his tone as if you needed the reminder of how much he disliked you. “you only pick on people that you think are below you somehow. people you think won’t fight back.”

“i know i’m not a good person,” you admitted in between gasps, thighs straining as his fingers pumped into your pussy harder, faster, reaching places you’d never touched on your own. “ i know i don’t deserve to be happy. maybe i don’t even deserve to be treated with respect, but please leave me this one thing. spare me just this once.”

jeno laughed cruelly, pulling his fingers out of your drenched hole and smearing your juices all over your folds and thighs. his finger unintentionally swiped over your sensitive clit, making your legs quiver and your stomach tighten, sucking in itself.

“damn, baby. you really know how to hurt my feelings,” jeno said, voice dripping with sarcasm. he withdrew his fingers, bringing them into his mouth for a taste. “you don’t want me to fuck you that bad?”

your heart was spiking with dread, thumping belligerently in your chest, your ears, and between your legs. no one had ever made you feel so vanquished.

“take my dick out,” jeno said, his tone leaving no room for argument. “hurry up.”

you sighed anguishedly, turning around to undo his pants and slip his aching dick out of its confinements. for months, jeno had been suppressing the urge to fuck you, wanting to wait for the moment where it would be most pivotal.

getting a hold of your throat, jeno roughly yanked you flush against him the second you whirled back around to face the tiny bathroom counter, making you stand tall against his chest. his voice was almost as rough as the hands that held you. “put it in.”

you gawked, shaking your head.

his fingers tightened dangerously around your windpipe, making your damp eyes widen and your jaw slack against his whitening knuckles, maybe half a wheeze making its way out your throat before he warned, “if i have to fucking tell you again, i’m gonna crush every bone in your goddamn neck.”

with no other option, you meekly reached behind you to grasp him in your quivering hand, aimlessly steering him to your hole and sinking your teeth into your bottom lip as the tip brushed past your dripping folds. jeno released a shaky breath, slapping your hand away and rutting his hips into you from behind, sheathing himself inside in one go.

he slackened his unforgiving grip on your throat, shoving you back against the counter none too gently, but you still felt like you couldn’t breathe when he entered you, a mangled whimper echoing out. your fingers desperately braced the edges of the counter for purchase as you tried to will yourself to inhale, but it was like you were choking.

jeno had a death grip on your thighs, forcibly pushing them apart a little more as he coated himself with the creamy, hot wetness of your unwanted arousal. “mm, hard to believe you don’t secretly want me when you’re sucking me in like this, baby,” he said, proud.

you shook your head in denial, face flushing with a heat that spread to your ears and neck. it didn’t help that there were beads of salty, hot tears pouring down your face and reducing your vision to one big, hazy blur. you didn’t want him, not even a little bit. but you couldn’t control the way your body was responding.

the lewd, wet smack of his cock thrusting deeply into your tight cunt rang out so loudly that you wanted nothing more than to hide into oblivion and never be seen again, mortified. it made things seem so much different than they were. his long, thick cock was stretching you beyond the cusp your limits and making you gape.

“i’m so nice to you,” jeno said, tipping his head back. you could see his chest rising and falling through his clothes, his body taut with pleasure and excitement. “i’ve been holding back for so long, trying not to fuck you. won’t keep me out this pussy now. i’m gonna fuck you till your legs give out. have you at practice limping.”

your knees, wobbly as they already were, began knocking into the cabinets at the bottom of the sink. you winced your eyes closed as your fingers curled around the edge of the counter roughly enough to change the color around your knuckles, hoping to think of something, anything, to take you out of the moment.

but it was too hard. you couldn’t ignore the throb of your gushing walls as they kneaded his cock, making him grunt in your ear as he leaned over your backside. you couldn’t ignore the faint sting of his nails stabbing your hips and his heavy palm slapping repeatedly against your ass. and you definitely couldn’t ignore the dirtiness staining you from head to toe.

sure, it felt good, his body rocking against yours steadily, but it didn’t feel right. many nights you had pictured what losing your virginity would be like, both the way that it was supposed to look and the way that you were more inclined to, but this was neither; it was heartless, it was punishing, and it was brutal.

jeno grabbed you by your hair and forced you to look into the mirror, yanking your head up. “there it is,” he spat, words sounding painfully familiar. “there’s the real you.”

your hair was messy from him tugging it every which way, treating you like a doll to mishandle. your makeup was ruined from your sobbing, the path of your tears harsh against everything else. your eyes were red and your right lash looked like it was barely holding on, the effect of rubbing at your face.

jeno watched you take in the destroyed sight of yourself, practically hearing the critical thoughts hopping in your mind. “this is what you really are. this is what you’re sucking my dick to keep hidden from the world. is it worth it, baby? or do you just like the way i taste on your tongue?”

no, it wasn’t worth it. you were beginning to understand that now. he was taking too much from you, too much of your peace and too much of your sanity. maybe it would be better to be judged and lonely but free than to be loved by people whose opinion of you could change on a dime anyway at the expense of your soul. 

your pride had been buried a long time ago, brutally murdered in her sleep. “jeno, please stop. i’m uncomfortable,” you complained, tearing your eyes away from your reflection in shame.

jeno smacked your ass again, making you cry out sharply. “you just love being the victim when it’s convenient for you, huh?”

“i’m sorry!” you whimpered. “i don’t know what you want me to do. what do you want? just tell me.”

jeno snickered, running his hands over your hips and waist to knead the flesh. then, he brushed your hair out of your face, nibbling at the skin behind your ear before growling, “you know what i want, cheerleader? i want to assassinate all there is that you love about yourself and leave everything else untouched, so that you understand not why everybody hates you, but why nobody loves you.”

those words hit you straight in the gut. for the first time, you had no retort, no comeback. 

hips beginning to move faster, jeno continued, “the boys don’t love you, they just want to fuck you. they would kill to be as deep inside you as i am. the girls sure as hell don’t love you. they either want to be you, or they resent you for beating their asses. and don’t get me started on those girls you call friends.”

“jeno, stop,” you whispered, an agony vicious enough to rip through flesh tearing you straight in half. 

but jeno didn’t listen. he wasn’t done, not until he made his point. “don’t think i didn’t notice how lonely you were for the whole week everybody was talking shit about you. they didn’t want to touch you with a six foot pole, did they? they don’t want to be seen with you unless it gives them a good rep.”

there was a pang in your chest. you didn’t want to admit it, but that cut deep. you had heard people say mean things about you before, it was to expected when you were an emblem of popularity on campus, but few things had reached you where it hurt.

jeno stroked your messy cheek, almost with affection. “but it’s okay. because you want to know something, baby? it was hard for me to admit it to myself, but you truly fascinate me. i can’t get you out of my head sometimes. you piss me off every time without fail, but i keep coming back to you. i like you, baby. if no one else does. you grew on me.”

you weren’t sure if that was supposed to make you feel better, but it didn’t. if anything, you only felt more heartbroken and wounded not only by his words, but by your inability to counter them. it truly dawned on you, right then, just how alone you were.

jeno threw his head back, grunting. his hips were moving with a mind of their own, eager to finish. “fuck, i’m gonna come.”

your eyes went wide in panic, remembering that he had gone in bareback. 

“jeno, don’t…”

before you could even finish your statement, jeno clamped a hand over your mouth, muffling your protests into his pale palm. “you know what guys at my school used to say about cheerleaders?” he asked, obviously not expecting a response. “‘see a cheerleader, breed a cheerleader.’ ‘cheerleader? breed her.’”

you thrashed, but it was pointless. those thick, burly biceps of jeno’s were one of the first things you noticed about him and they weren’t just for display. he held you in place as he quickened his pace again, his thrusts unrelenting.

with a couple more quick yet shockingly rhythmic thrusts, jeno emptied his load deep, deep inside you. he moaned, moving his hands from your mouth to your hips to keep himself steady as he reeled from the pleasure of a mind-numbing orgasm. “goddamn,” he cursed, panting for breath.

you stifled a small noise as you felt his warmth flooding into you, unsure how to feel at this point. 

to your surprise, jeno started fucking you again, never once daring to pull out as if he was determined to fuck every drop of his sticky cum as deep inside you as it could reach. his stringy, thick load gathered on his dick and inside your pussy, leaking down your thighs as he kept going.

you gasped out, moans involuntarily leaving you as you were stuffed full of him over and over. you didn’t mean to, but it was impossible to control.

then, jeno stuck a hand between your legs and rolled his thumb over your clit, which didn’t help. you cried out, tensing. “jeno, stop! it’s sensitive.”

“that’s the point, dummy,” jeno replied, stimulating your clit with his hand while simultaneously pumping himself into you from behind.

your core tightened, heat wafting over you as your chest heaved wildly. “what are you doing?” you stammered. 

jeno smiled, watching in the mirror how your face tensed with a blend of confusion and ecstasy that you couldn’t rein. “you really think i’m an asshole, huh? i’m trying to make you come. relax and let me.”

you shook your head. you didn’t want to come, not for him, and most definitely not on his cock for him to feel every unintentional shudder of your pussy as it gushed and pulsed with hot, sweet release; that would be embarrassing.

that made jeno chuckle. “no? you don’t wanna come for me, baby?” he asked, furrowing his brows playfully as he tilted your face back up to the mirror with a push of your jaw. “come on, let go. you keep saying i’m not a good guy, but you shoot me down when i try to be nice.”

you moaned again, against your own reason and better judgment. “please,” you rasped with half a breath.

“please, what?” jeno asked, rubbing you with just a pinch more force. “do you even know?”

god, you hated him; you absolutely despised him. but damn, if it didn’t feel good to have someone touch you after you’d spent so long avoiding sex like it was something to be ashamed of.

and this? this was definitely something you were ashamed of.

and yet the most shameful moment, perhaps, was when you finally couldn’t resist the pleasure of his big, long fingers twirling around your sensitive nub and his brutal hips smacking into you with a vengeance, clamping around him as you orgasmed with a loud cry and the heat shot through every corner of your body.

“shit,” jeno hissed, the feel of you finishing around him draining the cum from his balls for a second time.

your jaw slacked, overwhelmed by how you felt completely and utterly stuffed, ropes of his cum filling you to the hilt. jeno thrusted into you a little more, sending a flare through your back and shoulders, until he stilled for good. you could hear him panting behind you.

after a moment or two, jeno pulled out. hand between your thighs, he gathered some of his stringy release on his finger and brought it up to your lips. “open up. don’t make me say it again.”

you opened your mouth wide enough for him to insert two of his cum-coated fingers inside. then, you sucked at them and swallowed it down, knowing those would be the next words to leave his mouth. 

jeno raised a brow, pleasantly surprised. he took his time to withdraw his fingers, enjoying the sensation of you licking them clean. “see, i knew you loved eating my cum.”

your face burned, but you didn’t have the energy to deny it. not after that. it felt like there was a gaping hole in your chest, a void that would never be filled. 

“you’re learning,” jeno commented, humming in satisfaction. “good girl. you know, maybe one day we can get along. don’t you think?”

“yeah,” you murmured weakly. at this point, you would just go along with whatever he said. and maybe that was why he figured you could experience some peace together now.

keeping your dress bunched up, jeno grabbed some tissues from his left and started to wipe at you. “let’s get you cleaned up before we leave, cheerleader. don’t want the entire student body to see you like this, right?”

you whipped your head around, eyes widening in surprise. leaving to go where? certainly you weren’t going home with him after tonight. 

“did you think i was kidding?” jeno asked with a sly smile, slipping your panties backing in place and giving your shoulder a fleeting kiss. “i told you, i’m gonna fuck you till your legs give out.”

[reidrum]

santa doesn't know you like i do

note: i posted and deleted this a few days ago cuz i didn't like it but i read it again and it kinda helped with how i'm feeling rn. if the holidays are a difficult time for you i hope spencer can help a little, and i'm hugging you super tightly! merry christmas/happy holidays bffs always so grateful to have you around 🎄🫂

summary: in which the holiday blues hit you harder than you expect, and spencer is there for you

cw: angst, unspecified family trauma, hurt/comfort no hurt, indirect mentions of depression around holidays, reader is just kinda going through it

wc: 1.3k

Grief is a fickle feeling. Even more so because you’re not exactly mourning the loss of anyone, but simply a fraction of who you used to be.

There was a younger you who shined with radiance and hope, to only be dulled by the world and its harsh dealings as you grew older. It’s hard to say what you would change if given the chance for a redo, for the causation of it all acted more as a fungus growing through the roots of a tree, slowly spreading and weakening its base unknowingly, rather than an abrupt chop of an axe to the trunk.

You can’t really be blamed for how you feel—wounds will heal but memories don’t.

The snow falls gently on you as you sit on a bench in the park, the flakes dissolving onto your clothes as you gaze off at the families ice skating in the rink not too far from you. In particular, you’re watching a father hold his young daughter’s hand, she can’t be more than four years old, as they skate across the rink. You watch them smile as they both tumble down, giggling and pointing at who was the culprit. It was the daughter’s, but you watch as the father shoulders the faux blame and places her back on her skate covered feet. In the distance you see the mother holding her phone up with a fond look in her eyes as she captures the core memory.

The cognitive dissonance rings loudly within you as your heart clenches at the sight. You were loved. You are loved. There are people who love you—present tense. It doesn’t stop you from wondering how you would’ve turned out if you were loved, past tense.

Your vision gets blurry the longer you stare off. You don’t even noticing the sound of snow crunching getting louder until it stops just an inch from you, a voice speaking up a moment later, “I thought I’d find you here,”

You raise your head up to meet Spencer’s amber eyes, his hands shoved deep into his coat pockets and brows furrowed in concern that peek out just below his beanie.

He sits down next to you, “It’s cold.”

You shrug mindlessly. He undoes the scarf around his neck and drapes it around you, removing his beanie to place on your head after.

After a beat you mumble, “Thanks.”

He nods again, “How long have you been here?” 

Spencer knows it had to have been some time. He came home from the office a few hours ago to your open faced phone on the mail table, the screen showing a few missed calls from your family, and your shoes missing from their place near the door. 

You’re honestly not even sure yourself, after seeing the calls your feet started to move on their own and as a form of sadistic punishment brought you to the park to watch the happy families enjoy their holidays.

“Not sure.”

Spencer is no stranger to estranged familial relationships, hell he could have another degree in it if they made them. While he understands the hesitancy you have with opening up, he’s still trying his hardest to show you that you can be vulnerable in his company, that he won’t weaponize your feelings and use them against you.

“You could’ve told me.”

“I don’t need anything.” you whisper defensively, “I can handle it by myself.”

He doesn’t even flinch at your snap. “Angel,” 

“Don’t.” you sniffle.

He sighs sadly, “I know.”

You know that he knows. For all the sorrow you’ve chalked up for yourself, Spencer could and most likely would match you. You suppose that’s why you felt drawn to each other—two birds learning to fly with clipped wings.

The colder days make the loneliness stand out more, so when it was blatantly obvious neither of you had plans for Thanksgiving the year prior, you had decided to spend it together. Unknowingly, you’d both planted the root of a beautiful friendship that turned into a loving relationship. Holiday seasons spent together turned into permanent company on birthdays and special occasions in the future, and warmth to last you for years to come.

He scoots closer to you and wraps an arm around your shoulders tugging you into him, “Look at me.”

When he doesn’t see you move your eyes from the rink to him, he places two fingers on your chin and gently averts your head up, “Hi, sweet girl.”

Tears sting the backs of your eyes as you try to make your voice not wobble, “Hi.”

He smiles softly, “You know I love you, right?”

“Spencer—“

“Because I get the feeling you’re forgetting, and we can’t have that.” he talks low, “It’s important to me that you know how much I love you.”

You sigh, eyes softening. “I know.” You look back out to the rink and see that the mother has joined her family on the ice, Spencer follows your gaze there and feels his heart tighten. He knows what you want, what you’ve longed for, for too many years. It’s why you come to this bench every year during the winter. When you see what could have been, you’re only reminded of what happened to you instead.

Spencer breaks you out of your headspace. “That’ll be us one day.” he says softly.

Spencer isn’t sure if you know about the life he longs for with you. How he dreams of warm beds filled with you, getting to come home to you everyday. How one day, maybe you’ll have kids who come running into your room at five in the morning screaming about opening Christmas presents, and he’ll get to roll over and press a kiss to your forehead, pulling you closer as the kids snuggle up with you both. Maybe you’ll even take them ice skating one day.

You chuckle sadly in disbelief, “You don’t know that.”

“Of course I do,” he looks back down at you, “You can’t get rid of me that easily.” he lightly jokes.

“I know.”

“I don’t think you want to.”

“I don’t think I deserve you.”

That stops him in his tracks. “Why do you say that?”

You pause, “I—I don’t know how to be loved, or how to love. Any concept of it I had is bullshit and it’s tainted and the thought of even passing that on to children—“

“Hey. Slow down.” he placates, “Sweetheart, you are worthy of love. You may not be used to it, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it. If our children have even half the amount of love you have, they’ll turn out to be amazing humans. The way you love is so special.”

You stare at him in shock. Did he really say our children? You mumble, “Our children…”

He hums quizzically, “What?”

“You said our children, do you…think about that? With…me?”

“All the time,” he beams, “I think about it all with you.”

The familiar sting of tears returns, “All of it?”

“All of it,” he pulls you closer, “Marriage, kids, everything. Not to freak you out but I have the next twenty years of our lives planned.”

He finally gets a real laugh out of you, and he really couldn’t be more proud of himself. While you may just be a result of your circumstances, here is Spencer who is quite literally ready to spend decades with you recreating new memories. He wants a life with you. He wants every part of it, and he’ll happily help you through your rough patches when you need him. He is in love, you’re his best friend, and that is all he needs. You’ve never known a love like this, but Spencer will be here to show you that you will always be loved.

You hug him tightly and return your gaze back to the little girl skating with her father, The sight is no longer something you long for, but something you wait for.

[buecketsnbueckets]

pretty on camera | P.B

summary: you, an upcoming actress, admit to your little crush on the rising in popularity basketball star, paige bueckers, in an interview. what you didn’t expect was for people to care that much about your confession but it might just work in your favor.

pairing: actress!reader x paige bueckers

contains: sweetheart!reader, reader’s sexuality is not mentioned so open to all wlw, rachel zegler is reader’s bestfriend (she’s not the fc this is open to EVERYONE! i just love that woman to death), fluff & flirting!

a/n: hi! this is my first post about paige so if you guys like this and want more of actress reader lmk :), ALSO my inbox is open for different suggestions for oneshots as well <3 MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE & HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

“Okay, everything’s all set up. We’re ready when you are.”

Your manager, Bella, instructs as you situate yourself in the chair that was given to you. Bright lights shone on your neatly pampered face, a boom mic right above the big camera lens that was aimed to your upper half. You nod with a kind smile, clearing your throat and trying not to ruin the position your hair was in that your wonderful hair stylist had done. Once you get the okay that the camera was rolling, you relax a bit.

You introduce yourself to the camera, motioning to the Teen Vogue box right next to you.

“I’m here with Teen Vogue answering your guys’ nosy questions that you sent in about my life and my roles.”

You beam as you reach into the red box, humming a tune to yourself before pulling out the first question on the strip of paper.

“First question; what has been your favorite role since you started your journey in acting?” You read off the ink on the paper, thinking to yourself with a small smile. “I think my favorite so far has been playing Brittany in Bottoms last year. Camp-y, stupid, fun movies are so entertaining to me and I was so excited when I got the call from Emma telling me I got it. Everyone was so incredibly nice and welcoming.”

You reach for another question, unfolding the piece of paper to reveal the next question for you. Your eyes widen at the first question, looking up at the camera with a chuckle.

“Okay so the next question is who is your current or past celebrity crush. Hm.”

You think to yourself for a moment before glancing over at Bella with raised eyebrows. The crew seems to chuckle at your stuck position already. You weren’t sure if you were allowed to say who you were first thinking of. Bella mouthed her name to you and you nod, heat already flooding your cheeks. Bella, seeming reluctant, nodded as permission to say the blonde’s name.

You cover your mouth with a hand and shake your head, letting out a long sigh.

“I don’t know if she’s considered a celebrity but,” you pause to purse your lips, puffing out a breath of hair. “Paige Bueckers. I also don’t want to hear shit in my comments or dm’s about it. I will block all of you.”

And oh, did you hear shit about it.

After that little exposing question on Teen Vogue, you were flooded with edits already of the two of you with clips from your few films you’ve been in and Paige’s games and TikToks. It had not even been a whole week since that interview was posted. Your best friend, Rachel, started spamming you nonstop with these edits with taunts and teasing.

You scoured through the comments, shocked at what people were saying.

‘pls never her get media training.’

‘wait lowk they’d be cute😝’

‘she’s gonna block us ALL guys omfg😭😭😭’

You really didn’t think you shared a fan base with a rising basketball player from a college in Connecticut but here you were. Rachel begged you to come over to hers so you could gossip about it the second your last interview was over. You, missing the comfort of normalcy, agreed immediately.

So after bidding the interviewer, crew, and Bella farewell, you got picked up by Rachel at the studio who was in sweats and a hoodie. She already had a cup of your favorite smoothie with a cheeky grin.

“Hey lover girl,” she leaned against her car, hand over her chest with an exasperated sigh as she handed you the smoothie.

“Shut up. Stop.” You already feel your face heating up at her words.

She laughed softly as she lightly kicked your ankle, brows raising at you.

“What? I’m sorry, is Mrs.Bueckers better?”

“Seriously, it's not funny.”

Rachel merely laughed louder some more at your flushed state, shaking her head. She unlocks her car as you hurriedly tug open the door. You settle into the seat as you take a long sip of the smoothie with a huff.

“I can’t believe you actually said that she was your celebrity crush,” your best friend hopped in the car as her laughter died down. “I don’t know how you didn’t see this coming.”

Truth be told, she was 100% right. You don’t know what the hell you were thinking.

“I didn’t think her fans would care about me of all people, you know?”

Rachel scoffs and shakes her head as she turns on the engine. “Whatever. You’re hot, gay and her age. I would’ve been more surprised if her fans didn’t freak out.”

You nod as you take a long sip from your smoothie, sighing out when your phone dings. You ignore it for now as you relax in Rachel’s front seat, asking her to please wake you up when you get to her place. You two talk about how Rachel’s birthday was coming up in a week and how you both wanted to go out just with your friends.

When you finally arrive at Rachel’s apartment, you finally check your cellphone to see a familiar name on your screen. Your heart drops at the sight, a wave of mortification falling over you.

paigebueckers | You have a crush on me?

paigebueckers followed yourusername

“Wait, no, Rach,” you reach for her arm as she's tossing her keys in a bowl by the front door. “She messaged me and followed me. I’ll kill myself right now.”

Rachel covers her mouth, words muffled but clear to you. “No. You’re kidding.”

“What the actual fuck? What do I say to that? This is so humiliating,” you groan as you cover your tired eyes with your free palm that wasn’t holding your phone.

In the blink of an eye, Rachel snatched your phone at lightning speed from your grasp, giggling as she ran more into her apartment. You took off after her, shouting ‘no’ as you knew exactly what she was planning on doing.

“You said you don’t know what to say so I’ll do it for you,” your best friend stated simply, shrugging her shoulders once she was able to flop onto her cozy couch.

She held her phone up in the air as her fingers hovered over the keyboard on your screen. You climb over her body to try and snatch it from her but she keeps moving out of the way.

“I’m gonna kick you,” you threaten her as you huff, pausing your attempts at fighting against her.

“Come on. Seriously. There’s no harm in texting her.”

As you settle back into the couch, you think about it for a moment. What is the harm? You reach over Rachel’s body to grab your phone back, huffing as you think about how to respond to that.

yourusername | oh god i am so sorry. this is so embarrassing.

paigebueckers | Nah there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m honored to be your ‘celebrity’ crush 😎

yourusername | i seriously never thought you would see that video but i guess our both of our supporters desperately wanted you to see it

paigebueckers | So what is it about me hmm?

yourusername | that crush just evaporated im ngl to you ‼️

paigebueckers | Alr Alr I’ll stop, pretty girl

yourusername | thank u. spare me pls ://

paigebueckers hearted your message

paigebueckers | Yk I’ve seen a few of your movies. I just didn’t realize it was you. You’re insanely talented btw

yourusername hearted paigebueckers message

yourusername | stop omg which ones? and thank you so much! <3

paigebueckers | Uhh the new Suicide Squad movie and Bodies Bodies Bodies. No problem!

yourusername | those are some of my favorites so i’m so glad you enjoyed them :)

“Okay when I said to text her back I didn’t mean only text her right now,” Rachel’s voice interrupted your furious typing.

You blush at her confrontation, clicking off your phone and setting it on the cushion next to you. “Sorry, Rach. She’s actually pretty chill. She seems…nice.”

“Next thing you’ll know she’ll be flying out to L.A to come and see you,” Rachel kids as she turns on her living room TV.

You didn’t say anything to that as you wouldn’t be completely opposed to it. You still had that lingering crush; that doesn’t just disappear overnight or within the first ten minutes you’ve been talking to her. Before you go lock in and focus on spending your downtime with your best friend, you check your phone one more time.

paigebueckers | Oh, I fs did. I was pretty focused everytime you were on screen, gorgeous

paigebueckers | I got practice rn but I’ll text you in a bit? 💗

yourusername | flirt but i believe you :)

yourusername | have fun at practice! get those gains in 💪

paigebueckers hearted your message

yourusername | happy birthday to my insanely talented best friend. you’re 23 now. i remember when we were both 13 year olds talking about becoming actresses and how cool it would be. now look at how far you’ve come, juliet on mf broadway :,) i love you, rach ♥︎

view all comments

rachelzegler | i’m gonna cry im literally sitting right next to you but i love you so much! 💜💜

↳ yourusername | i love you more 🤕💔

kit.connor | happy birthday to the icon herself!

↳ yourusername | iktr!!😩

randomuser | their friendship >>>>>

havanaroseliu | look at that angel ♡ ♡ happiest of birthdays!!!

↳ yourusername | that’s my mf bestfriend

randomuser | i always forget she was in bottoms and the cast is just in her comments LMAOSKSK

paigebueckers | Okay broadway legend! Period!! Happy birthday!

↳ yourusername | put some respect on her name!

↳ rachelzegler | oh hello paige😁 thank youuu!

randomuser | PAIGE?!!!

randomuser | wait omg they know each other???

randomuser | Did we bring them together?🙂‍↕️

TAG-LIST: @jnkbueckers @ch-3-rry

[ohsweetmiko]

daisuke headcannons

daisuke [mouthwashing] headcannons!

happy holidays everyone! hope this brings you some joy during this holiday season. remember you are loved, and that people look forward to you. <3

warnings: implied fem! reader contains sfw, as well as nsfw. please read with caution!

loves and reblogs appreciated ❤️

SFW

· even if you guys are only just friends, he is always the first one to say good morning to you.

· wants to be the first one to put a smile on your face, especially on your bad days.

· hates sharing food, will swat away any hand that even comes close to him. however, only for you he will let his guard down.

· is obsessed with matching jewelry, especially necklaces, earrings and rings. letting you switch out his earrings is a must.

· loves being the little spoon. he just wants to ramble about his day as you hold him close to your chest. it’s always the best part of his day, aside from seeing you!

· pet names would include: love, baby, ma, sweetie, sweetheart, sugar, sweetener, mommy

· is obsessed with your scent. would openly just take a whiff, which would make you giggle. whatever shampoo you use—he needs to know. he’d randomly ask you during a cuddle session “how do you smell so good?”

· is an absolute gentleman. we all know this. will always hold the door for you and pull out your chair with a smile.

· loves watching you as you do something your passionate about. he loves to see you happy and smiling.

· he never really gives effort into his looks, but when you guys go out—thrown out the window. he’s panicking like crazy hoping he’s not underdressed.

· lives for when you play with his hair, especially while cuddling. he loves how relaxing it is for both you and him, as you trail your hand through his brown locs. loves when you pull it too

NSFW

· like i said, is obsessed with your scent. it turns him on so bad—even when you don’t even mean to. you guys could just be cuddling and suddenly he gets all hot and bothered muttering “..you smell nice.”

· mommy kink definitely. should’ve been expected as he has some bad mommy issues. one day you guys were fucking and it must’ve just slipped out. he was so relieved when you said it was fine and that it actually turned you on—is now his #1 pet name when making love.

· poor baby, please praise him. he loves hearing that he’s pleasuring you and that it feels good. it makes him so happy when you whisper how well he’s doing and how proud of him you are.

· hear me out—switch, but leaning bottom, a lot. i feel he’d be the best soft dom if you just need to relax and want him to take control that day. however most of the time your topping from the bottom, haha.

· very vocal in bed. he’s loud in and out of bed! huge, and i mean huge whiner. loves to whimper, as well as to be muffled by you. loves to be muffled by your pussy and chest.

· i think all mouthwashing writers agree he’s the aftercare king. like he’ll prepare a warm, soothing bath for you both and give you a nice massage after. of course it ends with a relaxing cuddle session, as well !

· loves your chest. sucking, squeezing, licking, anything as long as he’s touching your chest. loves putting hickies, definitely some of the deepest ones here.

· loves marking you. it messes him up so bad. he just loves showing everyone he’s yours and you’re his. also wants you to look in the mirror and remember he loves you. loves when you exchange the favor as well,

· makes him so flustered when anyone points out ones he thought he hid, or ones on his partner and they put the pieces together and find out what happened last night. (especially if you guys keeps your relationship low profile.)

· overall, this man is a walking green flag. i literally love him so much he’s my baby 🥹❤️

[bananapeeeeellssss]

I was reading a bunch of DPXDC stuff on here and AO3 with Ghost King Danny, and thinking about how people wrote when he spoke if it wasn’t hear-able to human ears or a different languages and that got me thinking - what would that sound like? Then my brain did some braining and thought - wouldn’t it be cool if it was just all languages overlapping? Like “Who goes there” in English, but at the same time every known and unknown language (or just the dead ones, since he *is* the Ghost King) at the exact same time with the translation. That would support the whole ‘super hard/impossible to translate’ because it could change every time depending on what languages or sounds are enunciated more.

Add in the fact that logically, the vast majority of gods would not just speak the language you know or maybe even the most commonly used, this kinda makes sense? Well, not really, but who cares. As a wise author once stated, “canon is a sandbox and I am the lightning which will shape it to glass” or smth like that. Also, anyone who dies instinctively knows how to understand the language(s) so they can understand their king (as Ghosts). So now I’m just imagining a situation like this (forgive me, I don’t know how to bold or italics or anything on tumblr I’m new):

Constantine, furiously flipping through translations book after translation book of paranormal languages and not finding anything on God speak: “Bloody hell, where is it!”

Danny, who just got summoned by some cult/to save the world/for some other reason and has crazy social anxiety but needs some kind of ‘sacrifice’ to make the summoning legal or else do a bunch of paperwork, thinking: *Can I just ask for a sacrifice? Would that be rude?*

Danny, Awkwardly: “I need a sacrifice before I can leave. Just like a rock will do. I don’t like paperwork.”

Constantine, attempting to translate, gesturing vaguely and panicked as he continue to flip through book after book: “It’s saying that it needs a sacrifice in Kevlar**, something about a crystal, and Korea?*** I think it wants Black Bat as a sacrifice?

Jason: *Cackling* How did you translate that so badly?

**Sacrifice in Hmong is Kev txi

***Paperwork in Acoli is “Karatac”, also I know Cass is Chinese not Korean but for the sake of this Constantine does not and/or assumes that the Ghost King can’t tell

Or, Jason randomly discovering that he can understand any language now. Just not speak it.

In conclusion, I have now decided that whenever a god speaks it is representative of all those who have ever entered their domain or presence, and because mortals are not capable of understanding the complexities and beauties of language, they will never understand.

…crap, now I want to write a tragedy or essay or poem or something about the symbolism

TLDR: God language is just all languages overlapping at once, scenario, and author having a mental breakdown over ELA and this being much longer than expected

[steveseddie]

hot chocolate, on me

written for @steddieholidaydrabbles | prompt: hot chocolate | rating: g | wc: 995 | tags: different first meeting, babysitter steve, steve is a sweetheart, pre-relationship read on ao3

The same shitheads that dragged Steve into an interdimensional fight less than two months ago have now dragged him to the Christmas market. 

It’s definitely an improvement– at least Steve won’t get a concussion here. But that doesn’t mean this is how he wanted to spend his days leading up to Christmas. 

At least since his reputation already took a tumble it doesn’t really matter if he’s seen herding a bunch of nerds– or, in this case, wandering between carol singers and stands decked with lights all by himself after the kids he oh so kindly drove here ditched him and wandered off on their own. 

Whatever. It’s not like they’re starting to grow on him or anything.

He still keeps an eye on them since he’s kind of responsible for their asses. Right now he can see Byers and Henderson trying on dorky Christmas hats, Wheeler with his arm around El as she stares at the big Christmas trees and Sinclair and Max huddled together, drinking hot chocolate.

As a shiver runs down his spine, Steve thinks the last two have the right idea so he looks for the stand selling hot beverages. He stands in line, tuning out the people asking for hot chocolate, mulled wine, and apple cider. 

“What can I get you?” The woman asks the guy directly in front of Steve. 

“Greetings, fair lady,” he says with a dramatic flourish of his hand. “Might I have a warm draught of spiced cocoa, sweetened and brewed with hot water?”

Both Steve and the woman stare blankly at the guy, who laughs and asks for a hot chocolate.

While the woman prepares the drink, Steve looks him over. The moment he turns around to dig in his back pocket for his wallet, Steve recognizes him. 

Eddie Munson. 

His usual mane of black hair is tucked under a black winter hat and his familiar vest has been replaced by a green jacket but his voice and his showy way of talking are impossible to miss.

And his laugh– Steve remembers hearing it one day during lunch and surprising himself by immediately wishing he could hear it again. 

Right now he tries to pay attention in case Eddie decides to laugh again but all Steve overhears is him cursing as he pats the front of his jeans. “Shit– I, uh– I think I forgot my wallet, sorry–”

Eddie sounds embarrassed and when he pivots to leave, his cheeks are bright pink, his forehead pinched in a sad frown. 

Cute is what Steve thinks first before feeling bad for him. 

The woman has to clear her throat to get his attention.  

“Sorry,” Steve says sheepishly, still staring at Eddie as he disappears into the crowd. 

He gets an idea. “I’ll get that guy’s hot chocolate and another one for me, please?”

When the woman gives him both drinks, Steve goes looking for Eddie. 

He finds him staring up at a big Christmas tree, the bright multicolored lights reflecting on his face and making it glow. Steve can’t help but think he looks pretty. 

“If you’re planning to throw that on my face, Harrington, at least let it cool first,” Eddie says, startling Steve.

“What?”

“Isn’t that why you’re lurking?” Eddie asks, raising an eyebrow at him. “Or maybe you got that for your date? Has the King moved on already?” 

Steve ignores the last part and holds out one of the paper cups. “Actually this is for you.”

Eddie’s eyebrows knit together. “For me?”

“Yeah, I was behind you in the line and heard you forgot your wallet so I got it for you.”

“Why?” Eddie asks warily. 

Steve isn’t about to admit he wanted an opportunity to talk to Eddie so he just shrugs. “I don’t know, man. Blame the Christmas spirit or something.” 

Eddie narrows his eyes. “So this is– what? Charity?”

“No! No, no–” Steve shakes his head. “I just wanted to be nice.” 

“Nice? To me?” Eddie asks skeptically.

“Yeah.” 

Eddie’s nose scrunches up. “No, thanks.”

“What?” Steve says, dumbfounded. He didn’t expect Eddie to turn down free hot chocolate. 

“I don’t need you to pay for my stuff, Harrington.”

“It’s just hot chocolate, dude,” he says, keeping his tone light, friendly. “It doesn’t have to mean anything.” 

“It means I’ll owe you.”

Steve lets out a heavy sigh. “If it’ll make you act like less of a dick you can just pay me back.”

Eddie purses his lips but when Steve stretches his arm out again, offering him the drink, Eddie takes one teeny tiny little shuffle of a step towards him and grabs it. 

“Fine,” he mumbles, grabbing the cup with both hands and blowing on it. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Steve says, a smile settling across his face. “Was that so hard?”

Eddie glares half-heartedly. “Don’t push it, Harrington,” he says but his voice is teasing, and when Steve chuckles, the corners of Eddie’s lips tug up in a smile.

So Steve decides to push. 

“Are you, uh, here with someone?” 

Eddie freezes mid-sip, narrowing his eyes again. “Why? Are you gonna make fun of me and call me a freak?”

“Dude, no,” Steve says, rolling his eyes. “Just- there’s this Christmas show happening soon and I thought we could see it together? It’s probably not your thing but I heard there’s gonna be music. You like music, right?”

“Do I like–” Eddie laughs and there it is- that happy, delighted little sound. “Yes, you could say I like music, Stevie.”

Stevie. 

The nickname makes something warm flutter in his stomach that has nothing to do with his hot drink. “So do you wanna? See it with me?”

“Why?” 

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose. “Are you going to be this difficult every time I’m nice to you?”

“Yes. But only because you’re cute when you’re annoyed,” Eddie winks.

Oh. That giddy fluttery feeling in Steve’s stomach gets stronger. 

Maybe that hot chocolate will mean something after all. 

[mclacedes]

A Fading Echo (LH44)

CHAPTER II: Going Home

a/n: this is NOT PROOF READ

warnings: breakup, abu dhabi ‘21, rude!lewis, depression, gaslighting, fighting

★ previous chapter

★ next chapter

“For a moment, he wanted to break down and beg Willem not to leave. Don't go, he wanted to tell him. Stay here with me. I'm scared to be alone.”

- Hanya Yanagihara, "A Little Life"

He remembers your final battle—the fight that ended it all; the decision-maker, the deal-breaker.

Four years. You had been together for four beautiful, though turbulent, years. The kind of love story that felt unshakable, weathering the storms life hurled your way. You had your own career, pursuing the dreams you’d cherished since you were a kid. You were finally at a stage in life where everything felt like it fit perfectly. And with him by your side, it seemed like nothing could go wrong.

By 2020—your third year together—things had grown serious, the kind of serious that made people whisper about rings and forever.

You still remember the phone call in March 2020, just as the world began to crumble under the weight of a pandemic, when asked you the question, his voice calm but carrying a thread of anticipation.

“Quarantine with me. In the UK,” he said, his words slicing through the static.

You froze, caught completely off guard. The emotions hit you all at once—joy, anxiety, disbelief—so quickly that you couldn’t string a coherent thought together.

“Y/n?” His voice softened. “You still there?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here,” you stammered, your mind still reeling. “I’m just… a little unprepared for that question.”

The pandemic was spiraling into chaos. Quarantine was the new normal, with no end in sight. Weeks? Months? Years? No one knew. There was no vaccine, no cure, just endless uncertainty. The thought of being confined in one place for so long felt suffocating.

“It's just… That's not my house, I don't know if I’ll…” he had this unbearable habit of cutting you off in the middle of a sentence.

“I know, but we can make it home,” you could tell he was beaming with pride for coming up with that sentence. “Home is wherever you are.”

It sounded like a promise. Like he was for real.

“Besides, there won’t be any races for a while. Things will be peaceful, quiet… just us. I think we can make it fun at home, huh?”

His words wrapped around you like a warm blanket. Despite the fear and uncertainty, the thought of being with him—just him—was comforting.

You took a deep breath, letting the idea sink in. “Okay, it sounds nice,” and you smiled.

And it was nice. More than nice, really. Those weeks together were filled with laughter and quiet moments, a bubble of peace in a chaotic world.

Eventually, though, he had to leave again. Racing had resumed, and his life called him back to the track. You went to as many races as you could, though he always worried.

“I don’t want you catching that thing,” he’d say, his protective nature shining through.

You’d laugh it off, but you knew he meant it. Those months felt like a rhythm you could get used to—brief separations and joyous reunions. You thought you had found your balance.

But cracks have a way of forming when you least expect them—because people talk. They speculate. They conspire. Perched on the edges of lives they don’t know, they wait for their chance to unravel something beautiful.

Your relationship became a sweet treat for an internet starved for the meanest way to make somebody seem interesting, a spectacle to devour and distort—somebody had to feed those vultures.

By mid-2021, Twitter was buzzing with talk of rings, cradles and bibs. People dissected your (and his) every move, searching for signs of the next big step. But while the world fantasized about your future, Lewis was consumed by a fight of his own—that year's championship; the toughest battle since 2016, since Nico.

You knew his career had always been his first love, the thing that made his heart pump and his eyes shine long before they settled on you. Just as you had your own dreams to chase, he had his. And in 2021, those dreams demanded everything from him—his time, his attention, his softness, and, it seemed, his love for you.

By late 2021, the cracks in your once unshakable foundation had grown too wide to ignore. The championship consumed him, pulling him further away, and you—desperately holding on—began to feel more like an obligation than a partner.

It started with the little things: unanswered texts, “I was catching up on data”, missed calls, conversations cut short with a distracted “Sorry, I’ll call you later”. Later never came thought. Even when you were physically together, his mind was elsewhere, a thousand miles ahead, already focused on the next race, the next strategy meeting, the next battle on track.

You tried to understand. You reminded yourself of his passion, his drive, the fire that had drawn you to him in the first place. But understanding didn’t make the loneliness any easier to bear.

Then it crumbled. December, after Abu Dhabi. It was like everything started to shut down, like multiple organ failure—there’s no surgery to save your relationship. The worst part is that you knew it—you both. The even worse part was that you let it go so easily.

The fallout from that race was cataclysmic, not just for him but for you too. He came home shattered—a man stripped of everything he’d worked for, everything he believed in. You wanted to be there for him, to help him rebuild, but he wouldn’t let you in. He was silent, withdrawn, a ghost of the man who had once made you feel like the center of his universe.

“I’m here if you wanna talk,” you had reassured him once, your voice soft, during a quietly bitter dinner.

“I don’t want to,” he replied sharply, his tone cold and clipped, not even looking up from his plate.

“I know, but what I mean is that—”

“I know what you mean, Y/N,” he interrupted, his voice laced with impatience. “Please, can we just eat?”

The finality in his words stung, sharp and unforgiving. Recessive and heartbroken, you nodded, lowering your gaze to the plate of food you had poured your heart into making—a meal that now tasted like ash in your mouth.

The days dragged on after that, each one heavier than the last. Conversations became sparse, filled only with superficial pleasantries or curt exchanges. The man who used to pull you into his arms and make you laugh until your sides ached now felt like a stranger in your own home.

And then came the day he told you he was leaving.

“I’m going over to my parents,” he said one evening, his voice flat, drained of its usual warmth, as the chill of December crept into the Monaco air.

You blinked, still sitting on the couch surrounded by a scattering of holiday cards you’d been addressing. The weight of his words took a moment to settle.

“Didn’t know they’d spend Christmas with us,” you said, absent-minded, not understanding what he meant yet.

“No,” he clarified, his tone cool and detached. “I’m going home.”

The room seemed to close in around you, the once-welcoming space now feeling alien and far too empty. “Okay… I’ll pack my bags,” you said quickly, standing up abruptly, as if to act like nothing had changed. “How long are we staying there? I hope you’re aware that I’m going home for New Year’s—”

“No, Y/N.” He cut you off, his words sharp enough to slice through the air. “I need to go by myself. Just me and my parents for once.”

Your breath hitched as you processed his words. “Oh. Umm… Okay,” you managed to say, your throat tightening, tears threatening to spill. “It’s just that we… we had planned this. We were supposed to—”

“Yeah, yeah,” he interrupted, waving a dismissive hand. “Plans changed.”

The dismissal stung, sharp and biting, like a slap to the face. And then, the silence.

“What happened, Lewis?” you asked, the crack in your voice betraying the storm brewing inside.

“How is that even a question?” he snapped, his brow furrowed, disbelief coloring his words. He ran a hand through his hair, frustration leaking from his every pore. “It’s right in front of you, Y/N. It’s been right in front of you.”

“No, it hasn’t!” you shot back, the words tumbling out in a mix of anger and desperation. “You’ve been shutting me out for months. I don’t know what’s going on with you anymore because you won’t talk to me! You won’t let me in!”

“Oh, so now this is my fault?” he retorted, his voice rising, defensive. “I’m the bad guy for not wanting to drown you in my shit? For needing space to deal with the fact that my career—my legacy—was torn apart in front of the entire world?” He turned his back on you, heading toward the hallway that led to your shared bedroom.

“That’s not what I’m saying, Lewis!” you shouted, following him, the frustration boiling over. “The thing is, you made me believe we were a team. We’d face things together. And now, when it matters most, you’re shutting me out!”

But he didn’t listen. His steps were heavy, his mind already elsewhere.

“You said you’re going home!” You screamed, and this time, he finally stopped, his body tensing.

He turned around, his face a storm of frustration. “I am going home, Y/N. What’s so hard to understand about that?”

“What happened to ‘home is wherever you are, Y/N’?” you repeated, your voice shaking with raw emotion. “This isn’t your home anymore? After everything we’ve built together, I’m not your home?”

He scoffed, a cruel sound that sliced through the air. “You’re twisting my words.”

“No, I’m not!” you retorted, your heart pounding, desperate to be heard. “I’m just trying to understand why you think running back to the UK and shutting me out is the answer to anything. You barely even look at me anymore, Lewis. Do you even want me here?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” His eyes narrowed, his tone sharp, though still defensive.

“It means you’ve kept me on the edge for so long. You’re here, but not really. And when you’re gone, we don’t talk. You disappear. I’m not even a part of your life anymore!” You could feel the tears in your throat, but you fought them back. “You dismiss everything we talked about—marriage, kids, a future. Like none of it matters to you anymore. Like you don’t want me in your life at all. It feels like you hate me!”

“Argh, here you go again,” he snarled, his fists clenching. “Shit, you always do this,” he snapped, his voice rising. “Always making it about you,” his index pointed straight at you.

“Because it is about us!” you cried, your voice breaking. “It’s about me too, isn’t it? I’m not some option you can just turn off when you don’t feel like dealing with me!”

“Well, I’m the one dealing with shit right now,” he shot back, his eyes flashing with anger. “And instead of supporting me, you’re interrogating me, saying I don’t care about you. You think that talking about babies and rings is going to fix anything? You don’t get it, Y/N! You’re so focused on your timeline, on what you think I should be giving you, that you can’t see that I’m falling apart!”

You stood frozen, the sting of his words slicing through you like ice. “That’s not fair, Lewis. I’ve been supporting you—”

“Have you?” he interrupted coldly, his voice full of bitterness. “Because all I hear is how you feel. I’m the one who’s lost everything, but somehow, I’m the one to blame. You’ve made this all about you.”

“You keep saying you’ve lost everything, but no,” you said, your voice steady despite the tears now spilling. “You haven’t lost everything. Your legacy is still there. You’re a legend. It’s always going to be remembered. But you’re so lost in your own darkness that you can’t see what’s still in front of you. You’ve lost a championship, so what?”

Lewis’s face twisted with rage, his eyes seething as he glared at you. “So what?” he echoed bitterly. “You think it’s just about a damn race? It’s not just the championship, Y/N. It’s everything. They took it from me. They stole it from me, right in front of everyone’s eyes. And all you can do is lecture me like I’m being unreasonable? You’re standing here talking about legacy and what I’ve achieved, but none of that matters if it’s all been ripped away. What’s left of me when they’ve taken everything?” he said, forcing himself to maintain his composure.

“Yeah, and what's left of us, Lewis?”

The words hit him harder than you expected, and for a moment, he was silent, his jaw tightening. His chest heaved, and his eyes locked onto yours, a mix of pain and frustration swirling in them.

“What do you mean, what's left of us?” he asked, his voice shaking slightly, as though he was trying to understand.

“We,” you repeated, your voice quieter now, barely above a whisper. “What’s left of us when you shut me out like this? When you push me away every time I try to help you, every time I try to understand? What happens when you keep giving them, the media, more than you give to this relationship?”

“I don’t think I have the mindspace to dwell on that anymore, Y/N,” He stood there, seemingly distant, his eyes avoiding yours now. The air between you both felt colder, thicker, like an impenetrable wall had risen between the two of you.

“See? That's what I’m talking about! You’ll just run away, packing it up and not talking to me. You can’t just not think about it, Lewis,” you said, frustration creeping into your voice. “You can’t just shut everything out because it’s easier than facing it. This relationship—us—it’s not a convenience, it’s not something you can just leave behind when it doesn’t fit your narrative anymore.”

His jaw clenched, his eyes narrowing as if he were searching for a retort but couldn’t find the words. Finally, he said, “I can’t give you what you need right now, Y/N. I can’t be the person you want me to be.”

“I don’t need you to be perfect, Lewis,” you said, stepping closer to him. “I just need you to let me in. I need you to trust me enough to share the weight.”

He shook his head, looking away as if he couldn’t bear to meet your eyes. “It’s not that simple.”

“Yes, it is!” you insisted, the tears you’d been holding back spilling over now. “You’re choosing to leave me out. You’re actively choosing to push me away. That’s not about the championship or your career—that’s about us. And it’s killing me, Lewis.”

For a moment, he just stood there, his eyes locked on yours, his face a blank mask. And then, in a voice so quiet, so small, it shattered your heart, he said, “Maybe we were never as strong as we thought we were.”

The words slammed into you like a punch to the gut, leaving you gasping for air. “You don’t mean that,” you pleaded, your voice trembling, cracking under the weight of the truth you didn’t want to face.

Time seemed to slow as he reached for his house keys, his car keys, and the packed handbag—each movement like a dagger slowly twisting deeper into your chest.

“Lewis, no,” you begged, your voice raw, desperation flooding your veins. “No, please, don’t do this. Please stay…”

But he didn’t look back. He didn’t even flinch at your broken cries.

“I’ll see you around,” he muttered, his words empty, hollow. His tone was void of everything that once mattered. Without another word, he walked out, the door slamming shut behind him with a deafening finality.

The silence that followed was suffocating, the sound of the door’s closure ringing in your ears like a death knell. You were left standing there, frozen, in a sea of devastation. Alone. Lost. And questioning everything that had once been so sure.

Nothing was ever the same after that.

For him, that wasn’t just the loss of a championship—it was the loss of himself. Of everything he thought he could hold onto.

You watched helplessly as he sought solace in everything else—the noise, the distractions, the empty comforts—anything but you. Everyone else seemed to understand the depths of his pain, the weight of his loss, except for you. And that fact stung worse than anything he’d said.

That night, you let yourself slip into a crying spiral, tears falling uncontrollably, each one a reflection of the pain that had consumed you. You didn't know how long it lasted, but it felt like hours, your chest tight and raw. Eventually, exhaustion dragged you into a restless sleep, the emptiness settling around you.

A few weeks later, after trying to collect yourself and make sense of the pain, you sent one text.

you: i’ve taken my thing out of your house in Monaco. i’m breaking up with you.

You stared at the message for a long moment, your thumb hovering over the send button, as though giving yourself a moment to breathe before the finality of it.

With a shaky exhale, you pressed send. The words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of everything that had built up, everything that had been left unsaid. The knot in your chest didn’t loosen. It didn’t change anything. But it was done. And as you stared at the screen, the absence of a reply was just another confirmation that it was over.

[hisfavegirl]

Beneath the Veil of Sin.

Pairing : Modern!Daemon Targaryen x Reader

Summary : This is a story of a love too powerful to ignore, yet too dangerous to embrace, where desire thrives in the dark, and the cost of passion may be more than either of them can bear.

The city lights were a blur as the car hummed steadily down the highway, the night air cool as it filtered through the slightly cracked window. You were on your way back from Daemon’s office party, a glamorous affair filled with work colleagues and polite conversation. You had always found such events to be a mix of excitement and discomfort, but with Daemon by your side, it had been far easier to navigate the endless smiles and small talk.

Daemon was different tonight, though. Even more handsome than usual, dressed in his perfectly tailored suit, his silver hair slightly tousled from the day’s events. He always had this air of confidence about him, but tonight, there was something more—a kind of quiet grace that made your heart beat just a little faster. The way his jawline was sharp, the way his eyes always seemed to hold a certain depth, even in the dim glow of the car’s interior—it was hard not to look at him.

As you stole another glance, you caught Daemon’s eyes flickering to you in the rearview mirror. There was a brief pause before a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips, and he chuckled softly.

“Is there something on my face?” he asked, his voice laced with amusement, but the kind of softness that made it clear he knew exactly why you was looking at him.

You blushed, a little caught off guard, but managed to stutter out, “No, it’s just… you look really good tonight.”

Daemon’s smile widened, but his gaze quickly returned to the road. “Always the charmer,” he teased lightly, his voice rich with affection.

The hum of the engine and the soft rush of wind through the window filled the quiet moments that followed. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, though. It was a kind of quiet that you had come to appreciate—a silence shared between two people who didn’t need words to understand each other.

You watched as his hand rested casually on the steering wheel, his fingers tapping lightly in time with the beat of the music playing softly from the car speakers. The steady rhythm made everything feel calm, grounding me in this moment with him. The road stretched out ahead of us, endless and wide, but in the moment, there was nowhere else I wanted to be.

After a few moments, Daemon let out a soft laugh again, almost to himself, before speaking up. “You know, you make me nervous when you look at me like that.”

You frowned slightly. “Why?”

He glanced at you again, his eyes warm. “Because I know you see right through me. And sometimes, that’s a little… too much.”

you tilted your head, trying to read his expression. “I don’t see anything I don’t like,” you said, your voice sincere.

Daemon’s eyes softened, and he gave a quiet chuckle, the sound almost like a secret. “You’re something else, aren’t you?” he mused, a hint of admiration in his voice.

You leaned back against the seat, the warmth of his words settling comfortably in the space between us. You didn’t need anything more, not right now. Just this—being here with him, sharing the quiet of the drive, was enough.

The road ahead seemed to stretch forever, but for once, You wasn’t thinking about where we were going. you was thinking about right now.

The car rolled steadily down the highway, the low hum of the engine and the rhythmic sound of the tires against the road were the only things breaking the silence. Daemon had his hand on the wheel, his fingers lightly tapping to the beat of the song playing softly in the background. The quiet comfort of the ride should have been enough, but there was a subtle shift in the air-an unspoken tension that had started to grow between us.

You didn't expect it. One moment, everything was calm, and the next, his hand—warm and firm-was gently brushing against your thigh. You froze for a moment, your breath catching in my throat.

His touch was so casual, so light, yet it sent a ripple of heat straight through you. You could feel the weight of his hand resting there, his fingers barely grazing the skin of your inner thigh.

You looked over him, catching his gaze for just a brief second, and he seemed completely at ease, his expression not betraying any hint of the small, quiet power that his touch had over you. You swallowed hard, trying to steady your breath, and finally managed to say, your voice barely more than a whisper, "Daemon... you should focus on the road."

He glanced at you, his lips curling into a small, playful smile, his eyes flickering with amusement. "I am focusing," he teased, his voice low and smooth, like a whisper just for you. But his hand didn't move. Instead, it lingered, his fingers slowly making small, deliberate circles against your thigh.

You couldn't help but glance down, feeling the heat of his touch spreading through your body, making everything else seem distant and irrelevant. The weight of the moment was heavy-too heavy. You should have told him to stop, You should have pulled away, but something inside you stayed still, rooted in place by the connection between two of you.

Daemon's gaze flickered back to the road, but there was a glimmer of mischief in his eyes, and the smile tugging at his lips only deepened. "You're not making this easy, you know," he said, his voice teasing but layered with something darker, something you couldn't quite put your finger on.

You shifted in your seat, your body betraying you as you tried to pull away, but his hand didn't budge. It stayed there, light but persistent, a quiet reminder of how much of a hold he had on you.

"You should really pay attention," You muttered, your voice almost breathless now, your heart hammering in your chest.

Daemon chuckled softly, a sound that made the air between you crackle with something that felt dangerously close to something more. "I'm paying attention to you, princess," he said, his fingers tightening ever so slightly, as if to make sure you felt the weight of his touch.

The warmth from his hand, the subtle pressure, made your pulse race even faster. You felt trapped between wanting to pull away and wanting to stay exactly where you were. The air in the car felt thick, heavy with the unspoken, and you realized that this-this moment, with Daemon's touch lingering so close-was pushing you into dangerous territory.

"Daemon..." you whispered, your voice shaking, but before you could say anything more, his thumb brushed a little too close to where you could feel the fire building inside of you.

He didn't say anything more. His gaze was locked on the road, but you could feel the shift in him, the same tension that you felt in the pit of my stomach. For a moment, the world outside the car felt irrelevant. All that mattered was the two of us in this small space, tangled up in something neither of you knew how to untangle.

You bit my lip, your mind racing, and you realized that no matter how hard you tried to fight it, Daemon was never going to let you forget just how much control he had over you.

His hand, still resting on your thigh, seemed to burn through the fabric of your dress, and your breath caught in your throat. His fingers moved in slow, deliberate circles, a touch so light yet so possessive that it left me both frozen and restless, trapped in the tension he had created.

Finally, his voice broke through the quiet, low and full of something dark and simmering. "I've been holding back since the party," he murmured, his voice rough as he glanced at you from the corner of his eye. "Seeing you in that dress, the way everyone looked at you... it's been driving me crazy."

You couldn't breathe. The weight of his words settled into the pit of your stomach, making everything inside you stir with a dangerous desire you hadn't expected. His hand remained steady on your thigh, each stroke sending jolts of heat through your body.

The thought of everyone at the party-his colleagues, the way they looked at you, the way they wanted you— made you feel both exposed and wanted in a way that was completely intoxicating. But it was Daemon's reaction, the way his jealousy flickered beneath th urface, that made you pulse race even faster.

Daemon's grip tightened ever so slightly, his thumb brushing a little higher on your inner thigh, and you shivered. "Seeing their eyes on you," he continued, his voice darker now, "like they couldn't wait to get their hands on you. It made me see red."

You bit my lip, trying to ignore the overwhelming sensation of his touch, but your body betrayed you, leaning ever so slightly into his warmth. You knew he was still looking at you, his gaze intense, but your own eyes remained fixed on the road ahead, unwilling to meet his. The emotions swirling between you-desire, possessiveness, and something much deeper-felt too much to handle.

"Daemon," You whispered, your voice barely audible, torn between wanting to pull away and the undeniable pull toward him. "You shouldn't be doing this."

He chuckled, low and deep, his fingers curling against my skin. "But I want to," he said, his voice thick with desire. "And I think you do, too."

You wanted to protest. You should have protested. But in the face of his touch, of the heat radiating from him, You found your words stuck in your throat. The world outside the car seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you, caught in this dangerous, forbidden moment. The tension was suffocating, and yet, You couldn't bring yourself to pull away.

Daemon's gaze never left you, his smoldering eyes flickering with something dark and intense. "You don't know how hard it's been to control myself," he murmured, his voice low, almost like a growl. "I've wanted to kiss you all night. I've wanted to take you and show you how much I need you."

The raw honesty in his words was enough to make your breath hitch, and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest. He was dangerous, his words and touch dangerous, but there was something thrilling in that danger, something you couldn't ignore.

His hand moved again, this time higher, pressing against your heated core. "And seeing the way they looked at you," he added, his tone harsh now, "it made me want to claim you in front of everyone."

You moaned as you felt his hand start to stroke your core, his movements slow and sure. making small circles, which sent heat throughout your body. you leaned back in the car seat and spread your legs, the daemon who saw it just laughed softly. "look, my beautiful girlfriend turned into a whore because of my touch?"

Then you could feel him remove the g string you were wearing and insert two fingers, you arched your body because of it. his thumbs started to stroke your clit sending shivers through your body "Daemon.."

Daemon glanced at you before he finally moved his two fingers, curling them to touch your spot. He could feel your walls squeezing his fingers, and made him imagine how your walls would wrap around his hardening cock. He growled at the thought. "fuck, you look so hot you know that?"

His fingers continued to curl in and out of you, making the knot in your stomach tighten. You tried to hold back your moans, but to no avail. He added another finger and his thumb continued to stroke your clit as it began to swell. you opened your eyes, looking at him with a lustful gaze. your body arched again when his finger touched your spot, daemon just chuckled darkly he knew the power he held over you.

Your body begins to tremble as waves of pleasure wash over you. Slowly he pulled his finger that was wet with your fluids, then he sucked his finger. Feeling you on his tongue, he let out a hum of approval. "You taste so sweet my love" Your breath quickens, you lean back weakly, gathering your strength after the pleasure that he gave you.

Your eyes darted toward him, catching the way his jaw tightened, the way his grip on the steering wheel grew firmer. He looked calm on the surface, but you knew better. The restraint was costing him, and something about that knowledge sent a thrill through you.

Before you could second-guess yourself, you lifted your hand and placed it on his thigh.

His reaction was instant. You felt his muscles tense beneath your palm, the warmth of his body radiating through the fabric of his suit pants. He inhaled sharply, his grip on the wheel tightening as his knuckles whitened. His gaze didn't leave the road, but the change in his demeanor was unmistakable.

"Careful," he said, his voice low and strained. It was a warning, but there was no real threat in it —only a challenge, one that made your pulse quicken.

You let your hand rest there for a moment, testing the waters. His thigh was firm under your touch, and the heat of his body seemed to seep into your skin. You shifted your fingers slightly, just enough to remind him of your presence, and his reaction didn't disappoint.

His jaw clenched, a muscle ticking in his cheek, and you swore you heard him curse under his breath.

"Is something wrong?" you asked, your voice innocent but laced with a hint of mischief.

His laugh was low and humorless, tinged with disbelief. "You know exactly what you're doing."

You tilted your head, feigning innocence. "Do !?"

The corners of his mouth twitched, as if he were fighting a smirk. He glanced at you briefly, his eyes dark and full of something dangerous. "If you're trying to test my patience, love, you're doing a damn good job."

You smiled, letting your fingers move ever so slightly, tracing a small, teasing pattern on his thigh. "You seemed tense," you said softly, your tone laced with mock concern. "I thought I'd help."

His laugh this time was low and guttural, and it sent a shiver down your spine. "You're playing with fire."

"Maybe," you said, your voice steady despite the way your heart raced. "But I don't think you'll stop me."

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The tension between you crackled like a live wire, and you could feel the weight of his desire pressing down on you, almost suffocating in its intensity.

Finally, Daemon exhaled sharply, a sound that was part frustration, part surrender. "You're going to drive me mad," he muttered, his voice rough and unsteady.

"Maybe," you repeated, a small smile playing on your lips.

Your hand rested lightly on his thigh, the heat of his body radiating through the fabric of his suit. You could feel the tension in him, the way his muscles tensed beneath your touch.

Daemon's gaze remained fixed on the road, but his grip on the steering wheel tightened, his knuckles white against the dark leather.

You let your fingers move slowly, tracing light, teasing circles on his thigh. His reaction was immediate-a sharp intake of breath, his jaw clenching as if he were trying to maintain control.

"Careful," he warned, his voice low and strained, but the edge in his tone only encouraged you.

Feigning innocence, you tilted your head and let your fingers trail a little higher. "What is it?" you asked softly, your voice laced with a playful curiosity.

His grip on the wheel tightened further, and his gaze flicked toward you for the briefest of moments, dark and smoldering. "Don't push me," he said, his voice a warning, though it lacked conviction.

You smiled, emboldened by the way his body betrayed him, the way his breathing had grown heavier. Your fingers continued their slow ascent, the teasing touch deliberate, testing.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stop?" you asked, your voice soft but teasing.

Daemon let out a low, guttural laugh, his head shaking slightly. "You're playing a dangerous game," he said, his voice rough.

"Am I?" you countered, your hand moving higher still, brushing against the fabric of his suit in a way that made him shift in his seat.

His reaction sent a thrill through you. His breathing was heavier now, his composure slipping, and you could feel the heat radiating from him. But just as your hand ventured too far, his own hand shot down, gripping your wrist firmly, stopping you in your tracks.

"Enough," he said, his voice sharp, commanding. His eyes darted to you, dark and filled with warning. "Don't push me unless you're ready to handle what comes next."

You leaned your body closer to him, your lips very close to his ear "maybe I can handle what will happen after this" then you bit the tip of his ear which made him moan softly.

Your hands began to unbuckle his belt, his grip on the steering wheel tightened. Your hands then stroked his hardened cock, and you pulled it out of his pants. seeing his erect and red cock made your mouth water. Without thinking you brought your mouth to suck on the tip causing Daemon to moan.

"fuck love, you are something else" he growled as he pushed your head down, forcing you to take his cock into your mouth. The tip of his cock touched the tip of your throat causing you to gag. You start sucking his cock, you bop your head in a slow and steady rhythm. His hands don't stay still he helps you by guide your head.

"fuck, your mouth fits so perfectly on my cock" he growled as he pushed your head to force his cock all the way down your throat. tears were already gathering in your eyes, due to choking on his cock.

His gaze remained on the road, but every now and then he glanced at you. His beautiful girlfriend was sucking his cock in the car. You could feel his cock starting to twitch in your mouth, he growled softly before finally cumming in your mouth. you suck his cock one last time before lifting your head and swallowing all of his cum. He laughed softly and shook his head, you sat back in your chair and smiled at him. "you really are something else my love"

The car slowed to a stop, the tires humming gently as Daemon pulled into a quiet, deserted area. The streetlights were few and far between, casting long shadows over the road. The silence in the car felt suffocating now, even more so than before.

Your heart raced as Daemon put the car in park. His hand remained on the wheel for a moment longer, his fingers curled tightly around it. You could feel the intensity building between you, an electric charge in the air that made it hard to breathe.

He turned to you then, his gaze dark and unyielding, like a storm waiting to break. There was no trace of the calm, collected Daemon you knew—his eyes were filled with something raw, something dangerous. The tension between you thickened, and you felt an unfamiliar pull, a magnetic force drawing you closer to him despite your mind screaming at you to stop.

Daemon didn’t speak at first. He just watched you, his stare heavy and possessive. The way he looked at you, as though he were seeing right through you, made your pulse race even faster.

“You’ve been testing me all night,” he said, his voice low and filled with a hunger you couldn’t ignore. The words were barely a whisper, but they felt like a command. “And now I think it’s time for you to learn what happens when you do.”

His voice, thick with desire, sent a shiver down your spine. The air around you seemed to get thicker, charged with the unspoken need between you. Daemon’s eyes never left yours, dark and intense, as though he was trying to read every thought in your mind.

You wanted to speak, to protest, but no words came. The weight of his gaze made your chest tighten, and before you could stop yourself, your breath hitched. You were no longer sure whether you wanted to stop or if you were ready to give in.

Daemon leaned in, closing the distance between you, his face just inches from yours. His breath was warm against your skin, his lips barely brushing your ear as he whispered, “Don’t pretend you don’t want this.”

Every muscle in your body tensed, but you couldn’t pull away. His words, that commanding, dark tone, ignited something deep inside you, something you’d tried so hard to push down.

Daemon’s fingers brushed your chin, lifting your face so that your eyes met his once more. “You’ve had your fun,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire, “but now it’s my turn.”

The moment his lips brushed yours, everything else ceased to exist. Time slowed, the world outside the car fading into nothing as Daemon's kiss deepened, slow but firm, as if he were claiming you, marking you in ways words couldn't capture. His lips were warm, commanding, and unmistakably sure, and the way he kissed you made your heart race with a mixture of anticipation and something far more dangerous.

At first, the kiss was gentle, a teasing exploration, as if he was testing your reaction.

But as his hand moved to the back of your neck, pulling you closer, the kiss turned more urgent, more possessive. He wasn't asking for permission anymore. He was taking, and you found yourself unable to pull away.

Your breath hitched as his other hand slid to your waist, pulling you into his chest. The heat between you was consuming, and you felt a wave of desire surge through you, igniting every nerve in your body. His lips moved with a rhythm that felt as if he had been waiting for this moment, and you couldn't help but respond in kind, lips parting slightly as a soft, breathless sound escaped you.

Daemon's mouth was insistent, demanding, and each press of his lips sent a shockwave of heat flooding through you. His kiss wasn't just about passion-it was about claiming you, taking ownership of the space between you, and you could feel it, deep in your bones.

You could feel the tension in his body, his restraint slipping as his hand slid lower, fingertips grazing your side. He made no attempt to pull back, and neither did you. Your hands found their way to his chest, fingers gripping the fabric of his suit, pulling him closer, as if you couldn't get enough of him.

When he finally broke the kiss, his forehead rested against yours, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. You both just breathed in unison, hearts racing, the air between you thick with unspoken words. Daemon's eyes were dark, his pupils dilated, and the look in them was more than a promise-it was a claim.

Before you could fully process what was happening, you found yourself straddling his lap, Daemon's hands guiding you there with a possessiveness that made your heart race. His lips were on yours again, this time with a hunger that matched the intensity in your veins. Every kiss was a mixture of passion and control, his mouth pressing against yours with a force that was almost overwhelming, but you didn't want him to stop.

Your hands found their way into his hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands as you pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. His breath was ragged against your lips, his chest rising and falling beneath you, and you felt the steady, insistent pulse of desire in every movement.

Daemon's hands slid to your back, pulling you even closer, his body hard and unyielding against yours. The feeling of him-so close, so present-was intoxicating, and for a moment, all your thoughts and doubts vanished. There was only him. Only this moment. Only the way his lips moved against yours with a rhythm you instinctively followed.

His fingers tightened in your hair, tilting your head back to deepen the kiss. The sensation of his mouth, claiming, taking, was enough to make your heart pound louder, the world around you growing smaller with every touch, every caress.

You moaned softly, and the sound seemed to fuel him. His hands slid down your body, tracing the curves of your waist before they settled on your hips, urging you closer to him. Every touch sent shivers through you, your senses completely consumed by him.

As your hands worked through his hair, tugging him closer, Daemon growled softly in approval, his lips trailing down to your neck, his breath hot against your skin. You shuddered at the sensation, your body reacting to every movement of his with a desperate need.

In that moment, everything felt heightened-the way his body felt beneath you, the heat between you both, the unspoken promises in every kiss. Your hands roamed over him, feeling the firm muscle of his chest and shoulders, as if trying to memorize the feel of him.

His fingers brushed against your side, sending a wave of heat through you, and you couldn't help but arch into his touch, the desire surging through you with every second.

His hands moved with purpose, steady and sure, as he adjusted the seat. The sound of the seat reclining echoed in the car, and before you could fully comprehend it, you found yourself leaning back into the now-angled seat, His body moving with you, keeping you close.

His lips didn't leave yours, deepening the kiss, and his hands roamed with greater urgency, his touch both gentle and commanding as he traced the curve of your body. The world outside was a distant memory, the night air and the dark road no longer mattering. It was just the two of you now, caught in an overwhelming tide of desire and tension.

With a swift motion, his hand slid up to your neck, his fingers gently gripping it, not in a way that hurt, but in a way that made you feel tethered to him. He controlled the rhythm, his mouth claiming yours with an intensity that left you breathless.

You could feel the heat of his body against yours, the solidness of him beneath you, the way he held you as if you were the only thing that mattered. Your hands continued their exploration of his chest, pulling at his jacket, desperate to feel more of him, to pull him closer, closer, until there was no space between you at all.

His breath was ragged against your lips, and as his hand moved to your side, you gasped, feeling his touch trail up the edge of your ribcage. He was so close, so in tune with every shift of your body, that you felt as if you were slowly losing yourself in him, consumed by the weight of his attention.

Without breaking the kiss, he moved one of his legs, shifting you even closer, your body now pressed fully against his as the seat allowed for a deeper connection. His hands moved lower, his grip tightening as his fingertips brushed the edge of your clothing, and your heart raced as you knew there was no turning back.

He then lifts you up slightly, guide his already hard cock towards your already dripping core. As he pushed his cock in, the warmth of your walls wrapped around him and the way he stretched you so deliciously made you both moan together.

"fuck, i love it when you squeeze me like this" his hands found your waist and guided you to move your hips, you moaned feeling him fill you from this position. You could feel him all over, his veins rubbing against your walls making you go crazy. you tug his hair as he too started to slam his cock into you, chasing his own pleasure. you feel his warm breath on your neck, kissing you and moaning your name.

He keeps slamming his cock into you, and you move your hips against him to chase your pleasure. You could feel his cock starting to twitch inside you, he growled before slamming his cock roughly into you, making you moan his name.

The you feel the knot in your stomach tightening. indicating that you are about to come, he realizes it because your walls are squeezing him tightly. "come undon for me love" with his command, you let out your release. wetting his cock. then you also felt him cum inside you.

As his lips brushed against yours once more, the kiss was soft, almost tender compared to the intensity of moments before. You closed your eyes, surrendering to the moment, feeling his warmth envelop you. The taste of him lingered on your lips, and the world outside seemed to disappear as the sensation of his touch consumed your every thought.

Daemon’s hands were gentle as he helped you sit back upright, guiding you carefully into the passenger seat. His fingers brushed your skin, lingering just long enough to remind you of his presence, yet not forcing you back into the whirlwind of emotions that had just passed.

"That's enough for tonight, you should rest" His hand reached out slowly, his fingers brushing against your cheek with a tenderness that seemed to contradict the intensity of what had just happened. The touch was gentle, soothing, as if he were trying to reassure both of you in the midst of the silence that hung between you.

As the car rolled up the driveway, the familiar sight of your home came into view. The soft glow of the lights from the front porch illuminated the pathway, and you could make out the figure of your father standing near the entrance, waiting for your arrival. His posture was relaxed, but there was something in the way he stood that made you feel the weight of his gaze.

Daemon slowed the car, eventually coming to a stop in front of your house. The sound of the engine dying down was replaced by the silence of the evening, the only movement being the gentle swaying of the trees in the wind.

Your heart raced slightly as the car came to a halt. You hadn’t fully processed everything that had happened, and now you were faced with the reality of stepping back into the world you left behind for a moment. Your father’s presence, so steady and commanding, was a stark contrast to the whirlwind that had just passed between you and Daemon.

Daemon turned to you, his eyes dark and unreadable, but there was a flicker of something—perhaps a question, a thought unspoken—before he opened the door and stepped out of the car. You followed suit, your heart pounding in your chest, though you couldn’t quite place why.

As Daemon walked around the car, you noticed your father had already taken a step forward, his expression softening slightly as he saw you. His usual composure was still in place, but there was an edge of concern in his eyes, though it wasn’t directed at you. He was waiting, his gaze shifting between you and Daemon as Daemon approached.

Without a word, Daemon opened the car door for you, his hand offering silent support as you stepped out of the vehicle. His touch lingered on your arm for a moment longer than necessary, and you met his gaze briefly, the unspoken tension between you hanging in the air.

Daemon then straightened, turning to face your father. A small, polite smile curved on Daemon’s lips, and without missing a beat, he greeted your father with a casual, but respectful tone, as if everything between them was normal.

“Harwin,” Daemon said, his voice smooth, but there was an underlying layer of something—something heavier between them that neither of them acknowledged directly.

Your father, in return, gave a small nod, though his eyes briefly flicked to you, a question hidden behind his composed exterior. “Daemon,” he replied, his tone equally neutral, though there was a certain weight to it. “How’s everything?”

Daemon’s response was equally measured, and while they exchanged pleasantries, you couldn’t help but feel the weight of the conversation hanging in the air, unspoken and layered. There was so much more beneath the surface, but neither of them said it aloud.

Tag list : @danytar @julessworldd @hangmanscoming @yazzzmints @giirlinblack @callsignwidow

[accio-victuuri]

i’ve been thinking about this and now i have a bit of time, i can write down my thoughts. and this is (one of ) my year-end realization when it comes to xz and wyb and approaching the fandom in general. tho being a career fan is a whole different side and at one point, something i found really enjoyable — we shouldn’t dwell on it so much. there are a couple of times where their career decision/s didn’t sit well with me and they always proved me wrong. perfect example for yibo will be him filming WOF which i didn’t agree with from the get go. i honestly thought he was fulfilling his propaganda quota & something i will not enjoy. maybe skim the episodes and just watch him. but boy was i wrong. it’s his strongest acting role in a drama to date. i watched and anticipated every episode. despite the fallout that happened later on, it still led people to discover yibo in a whole new light. that drama shut up a lot of haters who said he couldn’t act.

as for gg, i was side-eyeing SBMS cause it seemed so simple of a plot for him. but i enjoyed it! there is really no “bad plot” when you have a solid actor like xz. and most people prefer to watch light hearted dramas so this show introduced xz to new fans too!

for xz “losing” endorsements. honestly, i see that narrative in anti spaces. even to the point of those clowns rejoicing when a contract expires. they even questioned gucci and said he was dropped, but they were slapped with that christmas ad and gg was the finale out of all the international stars. so just stop going to those places and reading their twisted narrative. it’s a natural cycle for these things. i would rather he have long standing partnerships with brands anyway. and to those who continue to gain endorsements like wyb, good for him! well done! their value also isn’t dependent on the number of endorsements they have. tho it is very lucrative, i don’t think money is the main driver for xz and wyb at this point. they are lucky to be in a position where they can pick and choose what they want to be a part of. it has nothing do with losing the “traffic star” label. it’s never gonna go away. whether they like it or not, their names and traffic will always be tied together. i think the goal now is not only be a traffic star.

so yeah, they know what’s best for them. they have been here long enough to get a good sense of what works. as a fan of course i still get frustrated sometimes because i have expectations but what works for me is to trust their judgement 🙏🏼 and don’t compare please don’t compare them with other artists, let them do their own thing and enjoy it.

In the last months I was wondering and being a bit preoccupied with GG not having new endorsements and losing existing ones. Also with him staying away from show appearances and now not going on any NY show. But the last couple of days I keep thinking that he’s trying to escape that “traffic star” stigma and keeping it low key. Even though his album broke any record there was ti be broken. What do you think of GG’s “behavior” towards the c-ent this past year?

Hi Karamelina2005 😊

If you're genuinely hand-wringing over GG's career and endorsements, I think that's a pointless waste. GG is doing exceptionally well. While he doesn't have as many endorsements as DD does right now, the ones he does have are dominated by luxury brands and high end products. He's also still one of the top people in the industry in terms of number of endorsement contracts. He's doing fine.

Frankly, when an endorsement of his doesn't renew I always assume it's because they can't afford him anymore. No one - no one - has the power to move goods like GG does. No one is even on the same continent when it comes to sales. Let me guarantee you he's one of - if not THE - most sought after brand endorsement contracts in China.

I don't know how long you've been around, but over time you'll likely come to see that endorsements come and go. It's a totally normal, totally routine part of doing business. Brands are constantly shifting their strategies and adjusting their audience targets, budgets fluctuate, etc. etc. etc. - all of this leading to changes in spokespeople. This is completely normal.

I also think it's important for fans to remember that GG and DD are not social media influencers, they're actors. Endorsements will never be the central focus of their careers, and if anything they're likely to gradually do fewer endorsements as their careers become more serious and more established. Fans should resist the urge to measure GG and DD's careers by endorsement contracts.

Artists in China are also required by the government to be accountable for the brands they endorse. They must only endorse products and services they themselves or close family members are using. Someone like GG is going to be very picky about which contracts he takes on. He's a shrewd businessman who cares about how he is perceived and what he represents.

Frankly, the kind of people who worry about this type of thing tend to be insecure fans who are trying compete to one-up other fandoms for whose idol has the most clout. It's incredibly stupid and pointless.

We don't even know the details of their endorsement contracts, so it's pointless to try to bean-count over them. What would you rather have - 10 contracts valued at $100K each, or one valued at $1 million? The amount of money might be the same, but the amount of work is dramatically different.

So I urge people not to worry about such things. We don't know what's really happening behind the scenes.

As for live appearances, he hasn't done a live NYE performance for years. I honestly don't know why people still insist on expecting it of him. It's obviously not something he's making a priority.

Why? Well, only GG knows for sure, but I suspect there are multiple factors at play. The traffic star issue is a big one I've talked a lot about in the past. Both GG and DD have been transitioning away from that perception and more toward the path of serious actors/performers. But there are other factors as well.

Given that he has his own material out now, and a license to produce live performances, he may want to save himself for a future concert of his own (we can hope, anyway).

Frankly he doesn't need to do things like that. He's one of the top stars in China right now, and scarcity seems to make him even more anticipated by audiences.

He might not want to deal with the stress and hassle of preparing for and doing a performance like that. There is a LOT that goes into those performances, and a lot of stress and unpredictability. The last time he did Dragon TV there were huge audio issues that almost ruined his performance. He hasn't done NYE since. (Before anyone takes that and runs with it and assumes that's why - we have no proof of that. I'm just saying it's a lot of work and a lot of stress and if you don't need to do it, why bother?)

I suspect that control is a huge factor here. He is in a position now where he can pick and choose situations where he has a lot of choice and power. Why would he go back into unpredictable situations?

He said in an interview a while back that he hasn't been doing variety show appearances because he finds dealing with people's expectations and reactions too stressful. It's possible that applies here as well.

He wants to spend time with his parents, relaxing and watching DD on TV. He rarely gets much time off, and I have no doubt that he wants to make the most of it.

In terms of 'attitude toward the industry', I think both GG and DD have been doing their own thing, focusing on doing the kinds of projects and activities they enjoy rather than chasing after every opportunity. Gone are the days when they'd be packing their calendars full of a wide range of activities of varying value and appeal. Their choices seem far more curated and personal these days. I talked about that a fair bit in the past, including recent posts.

GG debut anniversary

DD debut anniversary

DD Exploring the Unknown

GG and project choices

I believe they're both doing their own thing, taking their own paths, and working toward having greater control over their careers, greater control over their projects, more time for their private lives, etc. and it shows.

I mean, just look at GG's album release and it becomes obvious that we don't need to worry about his career. The man has - on top of all the big projects he's been doing with top directors and top luxury brands - been developing and recording an album of his own, completely on his own time and with his own money and team, without any of it leaking, and with the few melons about it totally not believed by audiences. That's a pretty big flex.

And the album has been a massive, massive success.

So yeah. Don't worry about GG. One thing you can be certain of is that he will always focus on what's best for him and his career, and he's smart and capable and surrounded by experts whose entire job is to support that process.

[deonsx]

helloo there!!♡, I really love the way you write. I'm wondering what it would be like if sae,rin,kaiser, have a gf who is a cosplayer, tyy♡!

Hiii dear!! Have a nice read and thank youuu^^

Rin Itoshi

Rin had come home early from practice. As soon as he opened the door he heard strange noises coming from the living room. When he walked in he found you sitting on the floor trying to shape a large piece of cardboard. The room was a mess with hot glue guns paints fabric scraps and oddly shaped foam pieces scattered everywhere

“What are you doing?” Rin asked with a curious expression. You looked up at him. With a smudge of paint on your face and messy hair you smiled brightly. “I’m working on a new cosplay. This is going to be a piece of armor” you said holding up the cardboard. Rin raised an eyebrow. “Armor? That thing needs a lot of work before it even looks like armor.”

“Don’t tease me!” you retorted. “This is just the base layer. It still needs painting hardening and detailing. Rin chuckled. “Alright alright. But why does the entire house look like a battlefield? Do you even know what you’re doing?”

Though you looked a bit offended you could tell Rin was getting interested. “I watched some YouTube videos and read a few guides. It’s a bit challenging but I’m learning. Plus it’s fun”

Rin sat down next to you and picked up the piece of cardboard you were working on. “If you’re going to put in this much effort at least do it properly. You need to cut this cleanly with a craft knife” he said grabbing a knife and showing you how to do it

After that day Rin couldn’t help but get involved in your project. Sometimes he’d point out mistakes saying “You’re doing it wrong” and other times he’d grab a paintbrush to help you add finishing touches

When the cosplay was finally ready you put it on and showed Rin the completed look. As you posed excitedly you noticed the surprised look on his face. “Alright” he said after a moment “I thought it was silly at first but… it actually looks really good”

“Really?” you asked your eyes sparkling with hope. Rin shrugged. “Maybe. But after all that effort I guess I can’t say anything against it.” At the convention your armor caught everyone’s attention. People stopped you to take pictures and compliment your work. Rin stood a step behind you a small smile on his face keeping an eye on the crowd to make sure no one crossed any boundaries

Sae Itoshi

when you first mentioned your passion for cosplay he didn’t think much of it. “Cosplay? You mean dressing up as fictional characters?” he asked one day his tone calm but slightly curious “Exactly!” you replied with excitement. “It’s a lot more than just dressing up though. I design the outfits build props and sometimes even compete. It’s a hobby but it means a lot to me”

Sae gave a small nod. “If it’s important to you that’s fine. Just don’t expect me to dress up” You laughed at his response knowing it was his way of acknowledging your interests without diving too deeply

A few weeks later you were preparing for a convention. Your living room was a workshop with fabric glue guns and foam scattered everywhere. Sae walked in and paused his sharp gaze taking in the scene “You’ve been at this for hours” he commented setting his bag down

“Yup” you said not even looking up from the detailed painting you were doing on a prop. “The convention is in two days and I want this to be perfect” Sae sighed softly walking closer. “Does it really need to be this detailed? No one’s going to notice if it’s off by a little”

You shot him a playful glare. “Oh they’ll notice. Trust me cosplayers have an eye for detail” He didn’t reply but leaned down to pick up one of the finished pieces. “It’s impressive” he admitted after a moment. “I didn’t realize you made all of this yourself”

The day of the convention Sae offered to drive you there. As you stepped out of the car in your fully completed costume he couldn’t help but let his eyes linger for a moment. You looked stunning the outfit perfectly capturing the character you were portraying “You’re really into this aren’t you?” he said his voice softer than usual “I am” you replied with a bright smile. “And I love it”

At the convention Sae stayed in the background watching as people approached you for photos and compliments. He observed the way your face lit up every time someone admired your work. Despite his usual stoic demeanor he felt a subtle sense of pride

Later as you both sat down to eat he spoke up. “You’re talented. I don’t think I could have the patience to do something like that” You grinned. “Coming from you that’s a big compliment.” Sae smirked faintly. “Don’t let it go to your head”

Kaiser Michael

“You dress up as fictional characters and make all this stuff yourself?” he asked, spinning one of your half-finished props in his hand like it was a trophy.“Yes, Michael” you replied, rolling your eyes at his tone. “It’s not just dressing up. It’s crafting, designing, and bringing something I love to life. And no, you can’t break that it took hours to make”

Kaiser smirked and placed the prop back carefully. “Relax. I’m just admiring your… creativity” A few days later, he strolled into the room while you were sewing fabric for your next costume. His golden hair was slightly tousled, and he leaned casually against the doorway, watching you work. “So, when’s this big event of yours?”

“This weekend” you answered, not looking up from your work “Perfect. I’ll clear my schedule” he said with a grin. You looked up at him, surprised. “You’re coming?”

“Of course” he said as if it were obvious. “I have to see how good you are at this. Besides, you’ll need someone to make sure your fans don’t get too close”

The day of the convention, Kaiser arrived in style, dressed impeccably as always. When he saw you in your finished cosplay, his usual cocky smirk shifted into something softer. “I’ll admit” he said, circling you like a critic. “You look incredible. Almost as good as me” “Almost?” you teased, raising an eyebrow “Fine” he said with a mock dramatic sigh. “You look better than me for now”

At the convention, Kaiser stayed by your side, his presence impossible to ignore. People stared as much at him as they did at you, but he didn’t seem to mind. Whenever someone asked for a photo with you, he’d step aside, arms crossed, observing like he was the one managing your image

“You know” he whispered at one point as you posed for a group shot. “You should’ve told me earlier. I’d have joined you in costume. Imagine us as a power duo unstoppable” You laughed, shaking your head. “This is my thing, Michael. You already have football”

“But you’re my girlfriend” he said with a wink. “That makes everything you do my thing too” By the end of the day, you were exhausted but happy. Kaiser drove you home, still talking about how “you stole the show” and how “everyone was lucky to witness your brilliance”

Enjoy!

[luimagines]

*walks on in tiredly, waves, leaves a basket of baked goodies, refuses to elaborate as i promptly leave to pass out for sixteen hours* Well hello there, it’s been a while since I left an ask, life’s gotten busy lol.

Anyway! Once again thank you for all of your work in the fandom and for writing so much for the boys, it’s always a delight to curl up after a hard day with a warm drink and just read everything, it never fails to put a smile on my face and make my day a little brighter, so once again, thank you ^^.

(Also I know this is properly incredibly late but happy anniversary to the blog! I haven’t been able to sit down and just write much of anything for a while else I’d have probably said this sooner, sorry about that.)

Also, uh, beware a long ask ahead? This idea has been consuming me alongside Assassin Reader with Warriors and Lustrous Reader and it’s kind of been intruding in the space the fairy tale au should be at while I’m writing it + Linktober, hope you don’t mind me just sharing it here so it hopefully leaves my system lol.

So I don’t really expect many people in the LU fandom to know about Mili (who is a japanese indie band, really good songs), but I’ve been listening to Summoning 101 and then suddenly blacked out and woke up with the idea of Twilight with an au with Summoner Reader (or any of the boys really, I feel like it would work well for any of them, but especially so for Twi, Time and First).

-So the gist of it would be that Summoner Reader is probably from a world where both magic and modern technology exist (albeit with some challenges and friction between magic users and scientists), probably a little more advanced than Wild’s world. And that they themselves had a Link and a Zelda, a Link on his own journey and a Zelda who was incapacitated but probably trying to get back to them, Summoner Reader gets roped into the adventure because they were close to Link and was really knowledgeable of magic, making several attempts to mix it with science which got them mostly ostricized from society, and they know a lot of Hyrule’s history so he asked for their help in locating Zelda, Summoner Reader agreeing because it would allow them to keep an eye on Link and also gather ingredients to hopefully make a breakthrough that would guarantee many of Hyrule’s older enemies like say, Ganon or Vaati or the like would stay permanently down, even if it means shunting them off somewhere else before they could be sealed to try and break the cycle of reincarnation (I mean if the enemy can’t be killed but can be sealed, then surely there’s some way of sending them back to the netherworld where they came from and make sure they stayed there). Surely nothing could possibly go wrong in the middle of this adventure-

-So. 

Things go wrong in the middle of the adventure.

Link dies sort of things go wrong. 

(Either in battle trying to protect Summoner Reader or trying to get Zelda back, or because at some point Summoner Reader overextended themselves healing him and he was just like, ‘Yeah no I’m not dragging them down with me after this one, I can accept the cost of my wellbeing to save my homeland, I do not accept Summoner’s life being added to the cost.’ And ended up going off on his own, Summoner Reader catching up and, despite their best efforts, being unable to heal him, to the amusement of a certain Darknut shaped shadow.)

So Summoner Reader very clearly panics because none of the stories says there can’t be a hero, and there was no one who is capable enough to take up the mantle (I mean they’re a magician and they know for a fact they’re not hero material, and as far as they know there has only ever been one hero per generation/crisis, even if one crisis is mostly only put on hold until another one can come around and finish it), so they think and think and think, until finally they look at the Master Sword, dormant and silent in it’s scabbard that they had to pry off their Link’s long stiff hands hands, and have an idea.

It’s an insane, foolhardy, and incredibly selfish idea. 

But it can work. It can finish what their Link started, it can save their Zelda.

(It can help ease some of the guilt they feel at failing them both.)

So, they get to work, get some decomposing Wolfos fangs, a lot more powdered moonlight than is probably advised, the Master Sword (it could find things once upon a time couldn’t it? So what if it burns their hands, they will make this work, it will work with the last ingredient they’ll use, it will be worth it-), some of their own blood for the circle-

And half a Hylian.

Desperation drives one to do awful things. If they had enough time maybe they could perfect the spell, if they had enough time maybe Link would have still been there to talk them out of it, for finding a better way-

But their Link isn’t there anymore, is he? And they never had enough time.

(All the stories say is that there has to be a hero, never which one.)

(Summoner Reader was trying to pull literally anyone over that fit the bill,  but I like to think that they were specifically aiming for Fierce Deity while using the remaining power of the Master Sword  and well, since he’s sealed in a mask it kind of just targeted the next closest thing he’s related to, maybe he felt a tug in the mask and kept Time up about it and the poor guy is just very over it  lol)

-So now this can be pre-LU or during LU, but the gist of it, is that because Summoner Reader used decomposing Wolfos fangs, the one they end up pulling through the ritual is Twilight (who maybe was on a journey of his own looking for another way into the Twilight Realm like in the TP manga, maybe because Dusk cryptically informed him there were magical disturbances going on where the mirror once was during one of their weekly wine times or something and he immediately took up the quest).

Needless to say none of them trust one another and there’s a lot of complicated feelings going on there (with Twilight still holding some hope that maybe it was the Twili and promptly being smacked over the head with a brick that it wasn’t and Summoner Reader feeling bad they pulled him into all this and over the demise (hah) of their Link and promptly deciding they’re going to A: Not get attached and B: Not let it happen again so help them goddesses).

The plan is that things will be solved and then they’ll go their separate ways, surely it’s simple enough of a goal to achieve.

Right?

-Things do not, in fact, go according to plan, and these two end up catching feelings along the journey, but end up not saying anything to each other because they’re both terrified of trying to say anything and then immediately losing one another at the end of the journey. Except the choice ends up being robbed of them anyway because an enemy (Dark Link as a monster and already up to his shenanigans being the logical option, the funnier option {for me} being a version of Zant from Summoner Reader’s verse that Twi has already decided It’s On Sight on Principle) catching onto the fact that Twilight should not be there and targeting Summoner Reader and, since they used themselves as a tether to bring and keep Twilight there, immediately ends up opening a road to send him back where he should be. Summoner Reader trying their darnest to pull him back and keep him there and Twilight trying to hold onto them-

But they’re attacked a second time, it causes their hold to slip.

The last thing Twilight sees before he falls through is Summoner Reader crumble to the floor like a puppet with it’s strings cut, and next thing they both know-

He’s gone.

(As you may guess, neither side takes this turn of events well.)

-So! If this is pre-LU, Twilight is eventually called by Dusk again and meets the Chain and, remembering what Summoner Reader did, basically went “... Mysteriously opening portals you say?” and doesn’t ask further questions. If anyone notices he’s a little more aggressive to the Shadow than any of them, or that he always look a little disappointed after looking at the portals, well, they won’t ask the same way they don’t ask about Wolfie. Everyone of them has their secrets they’re not ready to share yet, it will come up in time when he’s ready. 

-Meanwhile Summoner Reader, who’s barely managed to escape alive, hastily gotten themselves healed, has way too much coffee and energy potions in their system and with zero sleep, just managed to break out Zelda on their own after a series of Shenanigans, hastily recreating the ritual on the ground while the Princess is trying her best to hold off Ganondorf on their own so they can finish it even as the Master Sword is quite literally trying to burn their hands off and sacrificing all of their years of research to make this work darn it: Surely it will work this time right? If it worked once then it can work again right? *trying to convince themselves and has been actively overextending themselves even more than they already are*

-Next thing they know the Chain is yanked through another portal, much more violently than the last few times, in the middle of a battle, is that Ganondorf?! Why is the Princess fighting alone? Wait why is Twilight rushing over to that fallen person- is that the Master Sword?!

After they’re done with the urgent matters they are definitely cornering the Rancher for answers.

(For context, Summoner Reader didn’t give up on trying to bring Twilight back, because again, they didn’t finish their quest, and he didn’t want to go, that’s reason enough to bring him back. But due to the Chain being all in one place it was harder to find him among them, so they got… creative, and paid a more extreme price for it in spite of Zelda trying to dissuade them because they were sacrificing all they had. It’s a grand ol’ time.)

Huh, in hindsight this could also connect nicely to a Ga1ahad and Scientific Witchery au. 

Anyway that’s all I’ll  elaborate on for now, because this is long enough as is and I’m tired, sorry for the sudden writing dump lol.

In any case, thank you so much for all of your work in the fandom, remember to take care and thank you so much for inspiring me to write more! I hope you’re having a good day/afternoon/night.

-From A Very Tired WintertimeStoryteller 🐚.

This took a while to get to but woah it was worth the wait.

Frist of all. How dare you? DX

Why must you hurt my boy, Twilight, like this again???

Also, Reader is like.... totally dead. ^.^*

They were being held together with bubble gum, duck tape, and sheer power of will. That last summons would have been enough to put them in a coma. Summoning that many people while being that weak would have definitely caused some organs to shut down. If not just have them drop dead entirely.

I wanna see Twilight see their body, attempt to get to them only to be blocked, and then absolutely lose his mind.

Forget turning into Wolfie. Twilight goes straight feral. Full barbarian- "I would like to Rage," sort of thing.

[crystallizsch]

I DIDNT THINK THE COLOR-MY-TREE MESSAGES WOULD BE OPEN FOR EVERYONE AT ONCE— IT’S NOT THE 25TH FOR ME YET-

oughhhhhghh anyways very long all-over-the-place, one-thought-leads-to-another sappy message below. read it or not, it’s up to you hdbjss (and don’t worry i’m not putting any messages on blast they were private for a reason 😭) it’s morning for me so i’m just AGH

i wanted to write a general thank-you message but as soon as i started typing all the words i wanted to properly say left my cranium and said “hey let’s be vulnerable” and so here we are.

anyways HI HELLO HI every message means A LOT💥💥💥, thank you to everyone who took time to write one for me. from the simple greetings, the silly messages, and the sweet and vulnerable ones. i will forever remember you all and i’ll keep you in my heart safe and sound. 💖

HARD PIVOT this small part can be skipped but i think i’ve only vaguely and briefly touched on this on my main but christmas eve especially is extremely rough for me. it’s not christmas or the holidays’ fault necessarily, but it’s because one of my parents passed away unexpectedly. so uh not a good memory to put it lightly. i only turned 18 that time, but as the oldest kid, i was already expected to “stay strong” and be the second parent. i felt the overbearing pressure because my family is not really in a “privileged” enough position to even be given the time to grieve + i was in the middle of starting uni so fuck that LMAO.

(something something that’s prob why i relate to jamil a lot HFJDJS but that’s a topic for another day maybe) (anyways just some. necessary??? background context i suppose.)

so uh backstory time. i was there for twst en when it came out but stopped and only got reintroduced to it last year because of an irl friend. i’ve been hooked into it for months BEFORE i started posting at the beginning of this year.

(shoutout yuuna for being my first yuu and shoutout yuusha for taking over my blog, she was never meant to be dragged out of the basement).

i thought this tumblr thing was just gonna be a way for me to distract myself from grief and pressure and the constant thoughts of ending it all. i NEVER would have imagined that i’d be part of community.

i really thought i’d just post art and leave and that’s it. i never thought i’d have people encouraging my creative fixations. i never thought i’d start talking to people. i never thought i’d genuinely make new close friends online. i never thought i’d have impact(???) on people.

i’ve always wanted this blog to just be a fun time where i don’t have to take anything seriously without any pressure. (i’ve definitely gotten more comfy posting whatever and that really feels more freeing).

i never expected to make so many connections because genuinely i only interact without expecting anything back. and the fact people even reciprocated is SUCH a genuine surprise for me. all my experiences thus far is so unbelievable to me even to this day still.

from the bottom of my heart i am trying my best to be a good person, because i don’t think i am. which is why i try to be as kind to myself the way i refer to myself and my work, and that i try to uplift others whenever i can and make sure whatever they do or make will be worth it. i know this sounds so vain of me but if it helps people out and it makes me feel better, i think that’s enough.

also it honestly feels so dumb to realize and admit that technically-speaking, if it weren’t for twst and the following experiences it brought me, i wouldnt be alive rn hdhdj

so to the people who told me i’ve made their days a little brighter. to the people that told me that i’m one of their reasons for getting the courage to start posting/putting themselves out there. to the people who are just so kind and funny to me. and to the people in general who just decided that i’m worth it.

happy holidays!! i love you all, and thank you for being a part of my life no matter who you are 💜💝

[thetriggeredhappy]

Hey hey, 48-hour moratorium's over! In light of that --

It's been a good 72ish hours and I'm still beside myself (in a good way) about how everything panned out -- like, woah; this might be the most upbeat conclusion I've ever seen a Valve game get. And the fandom's (largely) positive/joyful reaction to the comic has been delightful to witness. Three cheers for the comics team... wasn't expecting to see issue #7 this year, but it was a fantastic holiday gift.

Really looking forward to seeing what people make of post-canon and the seven-year timeskip (Scout's post-canon life being the most fleshed out out of all the mercs is fascinating to me... leaves a lot of room to interpret what the others have been getting up to, which is fun!). Very curious to know more about all the cut content Jay Pinkerton was talking about in that one email -- but I'm also (somewhat uncharacteristically) content with not knowing? What we got was pretty golden.

Pointing and nodding at the subtle little things (Heavy & Medic, Patton being dressed up like a mini-Demo)... likewise reckoned that semi-implicit stuff's probably the most we could've gotten from a Valve IP, so I'm glad to have it.

On a Scout-related note: overjoyed to see him living his best sitcom life, with his four kids and his Venture Bros haircut (and his seemingly-better relationship with Spy). Figured for a while that he might retire post-canon, but actually seeing that pan out was wild. In a nice way. Very happy for him.

i’m honestly really surprised to see so many people being taken aback at how lighthearted the ending of the comic series is. the tone of the comics in TF2 have pretty much universally been silly and goofy and fun and campy, this seemed perfectly in line in my opinion—the only thing i find at all unusual is the lack of sarcasm. that’s the thing, is that it’s extremely easy to write something over-earnest and for it to come across as kind of… shiny-eyed and nauseating. to be frank, a ton of what we did get was toeing the line, but they put enough effort in over the previous comics to make it all feel pretty deserved. all things considered, after what they’ve all been through, pyro deserves a puppy. of course medic would keep the baboon. of course soldier and zhanna would have kids. more shocking to me is the slightly smaller heartwarming moments—it would be so easy to make saxton hale just kick olivia out because we cut ahead 11 years and oops, she’s 18 now, scram! it would be so easy for miss pauling to have just been bowled over by the plane instead of having spy leap to help her in an incredibly selfless moment, considering his character. it would be so easy to make pyro wave to the engineer on the balcony instead of running, visibly cheering, completely estatic.

it would’ve been so easy to make the “our team were never even considered a real team—the other demomen don’t need to make their own explosives, the tech is handed to them on a silver platter. our demo is forced to do it himself because Mann Co does not care.” reveal so cruel and direct and cutting, but instead, demo is having it entirely on his own, quietly, subtly. the choice to make it something you have to really think about to notice speaks to a level of… maturity, from the writing staff.

the reason we get this happy ending is, to a degree, because at this point the writing is done with the assumption that the readers can be trusted to read and marinade and interpret.

frankly, i’ve known for many years that the only happy ending that any of them could truly get - i mean this from the bottom of my heart - is for several of them to stop being mercenaries entirely. Mann Co and the teams and the desert and miss pauling burying these bodies and negotiating for weapons have always been backlit in the subtext as that the thing they are doing is hurting them and preventing them from living real lives and growing as human beings. any ending where they didn’t break free of that cycle is grimdark and edgy in a way that the writers have made very clear they like to mock and cartoonify, and the choice to instead take itself fairly seriously and to commit to things being okay is a much more daring decision, from a writing perspective. a few issues ago medic was pouring blood back into them in buckets.

fantastic comic, my favorite thing in the world is stories and writing that trust you to engage with them earnestly, and this probably takes the cake. the administrator’s storyline is fucking haunting. and, unfortunately, would.

[a-fluffer-nutter]

Along the River Shore

A/N - Hey @august-anon guess what?? I'm your Squealing Santa this year!! I loved the prompts you gave me and I hope you enjoy what I was able to provide! Have some ticklish Zuko for this holiday season!! And thanks @squealing-santa for organizing it all! Definitely my favorite event each year.

Word Count: 695

            “What are they doing?” Zuko looked over at Aang as he sat on the sandy shore of the river they were lounging around.

            It was a warm day in the Earth Kingdom and the group were traveling around the nations on a diplomatic tour after the defeat of Zuko’s father, Fire Lord Ozai. Now that Zuko had taken his father’s ruling position, Zuko assured the people of Water and Earth nations that peace will prevail and that he and Aang will begin the prospect of reunification. After a few days of meetings and general interaction with the public, the “Gaang” was taking the day off to relax and enjoy themselves. Now that they no longer needed to fear for their lives every moment they took a break, the group could finally have some fun and bond in the usual way typical teenagers would. If anyone were to see them in this moment, without knowing who they were, it would be easy to believe that these are all just local kids having a stress free day, and sometimes it was easy for the group themselves to forget that they were not just a normal group of teens.

            “Having a tickle fight?” Aang replied in a way to seemed more like a question, as if Zuko had asked him a rhetorical one instead.

            “That’s what that is?” brows raised, Aang looked over at his friend, brain stuttering and sputtering at what he had just heard. “I’ve never seen it before.”

            “Really?” Toph perked up from her spot a few feet away from them, having been smacking the ground with different intensities, learning different strategies to bend sand. “I guess I haven’t seen it before either.”

            “This is serious, Toph,” Aang rolled his eyes as Toph waved a hand in front of her face with a wide smile. “Zuko has never been tickled before! This is important!”

            “He what?” Katara and Sokka looked up from their own tickle fight in perfect unison, having been the instigators to Zuko’s question. The siblings looked at each other and before Sokka could make the first move to get out of the river, Katara launched a wave of water at her brother as she pushed herself to land.

            Mouth agape, Zuko looked up at Katara as she now stood over him, hands on her hips. From the river, Sokka sputtered as he splashed his way to shore, entire body drenched. Glaring at Katara as he walked up, his attention quickly switched to Zuko and his body language mirrored his younger sister’s. As the crowd gathered around Zuko, Suki found herself looking up from across the river, having been sunbathing the entire day. With a knowing smile, she gave Zuko a thumbs up before laying back down and closing her eyes, letting the sun’s rays radiate against her fair skin.

            “What’s going on?” Zuko stammered, eyes wide as he looked around at his friends. “Why are you all acting like this is the end of the world?”

            “Because it is, obviously,” Sokka’s voice was loud and teasing. Brows furrowed, Zuko had the sudden thought that maybe he should find a way out of this situation, however, as if Toph had read his mind, grains of sand raised in a fluid way. Like shackles, the sand enveloped Zuko’s legs and kept him in the seated position, trapped from the mid thighs down.

            “Don’t worry, Zuko,” Aang’s voice said happily from behind the young Fire Lord, “it’ll be fun! And if it isn’t, we’ll stop.”

            “Oh-kay,” the hesitancy in Zuko’s voice could not be avoided, but that was to be expected from the generally anxious and uptight teen, and this was certainly not his fault.

            “Let’s see if you’re ticklish here,” Aang began to dance his fingers over Zuko’s ribs, resting his chin on the older teen’s shoulder as he checked his friend’s sensitivity. With much delight, the group let out a collective “aw” as Zuko began to laugh.

            “Looks like he is,” Katara mused before squatting down in front of Zuko. Reaching out, her nimble fingers began to prod around his sides and hips as Aang migrated his hands upward, sneaking under Zuko’s arms.

            “What’s happening?” Zuko’s laugh was loud and frantic, his body twisting around almost against his will. The sensations that shot through his body were odd and made him laugh, a bubbly sensation that wasn’t unpleasant. It made him squint his eyes and smile wide, in a way that he didn’t remember smiling before. This sensation was foreign to him, but maybe not uniquely novel. In the very back of his mind, in his very earliest years with his mother, did this sensation have a memory attached to it. It wasn’t much, just a blur of colors, but the feeling of peace and indescribable joy was the centerpiece of it all. Now, as this memory just barely grazed the corner of his mind, Zuko embraced it and the new memory he was creating in this moment.

            “He’s so ticklish!” Sokka laughed along with his friend, voice near incredulous in tone.

            “He really is,” Katara beamed, skittering her fingers over Zuko’s belly, which elicited an even stronger response. “Oooh, I found a good spot.”

            “He’s not even fighting back,” Toph stated, having released all the sand she had bended so each grain could slip off Zuko’s legs, freeing him. While not completely still, Zuko’s legs were not kicking out in the frantic hysteria they had all been expecting. Instead, his heels were just dug into the sandy earth in order to still and ground himself.

            “Are you having fun?” Aang asked, having moved so now his chin was atop Zuko’s head, with Zuko’s own head against Aang’s chest.

            “Yes?” Zuko attempted to nod, his own answer a question. He didn’t feel weird for enjoying it, but the way they had all acted earlier, specifically Sokka, made it seem that maybe it was a bit odd.

            “That’s great!” Aang nearly sang out, stopping his tickling to hug the Fire Lord from behind. Katara pulled away so she could watch the sappy moment unfold as Aang exclaimed, “Me too! We’re going to have so much fun from now on!”

            “Just don’t kill him, Twinkle Toes,” Toph chided, having a pretty good idea at the ideas forming in Aang’s head.

            “I won’t,” Aang replied quickly, upset at this accusation. “I’m just going to make sure he never has a bad day ever again!”

            “I dare you to tickle him during his next speech,” Sokka grinned which received him a glare that could have been much more intense from Zuko.

            “That could be fun,” Aang pondered, rubbing his chin.

            “I would actually kill you,” Zuko finally spoke, lopsided smile still on his face. “This was fun and all, thank you. Just don’t do it when I’m doing important things.”

            “Speeches in front of a whole nation is hardly important,” Sokka scoffed, then flinched back as Katara elbowed him in the side.

            “If that’s the case, I’ll just have to do it to you when we’re back home,” Katara teased, wiggling her fingers in front of Sokka’s face.

            “I can help,” everyone turned their heads as Suki called from the other side of the river. Lower lip set out in a slight pout, everyone laughed at Sokka’s expression.

            Zuko knew that Aang meant well and frankly, he was looking forward to whatever Aang had planned for him.

[throwawayasoiafaccount]

Frankly, I don’t agree with your conclusion.

The reality is that Rhaegar and Elia’s marriage was loveless (in a romantic sense) and was arranged by Aerys. There’s been much conjecture over why Aerys chose Elia and therefore Dorne, but most agree that it was a mix of reasons, three being that Elia had Targaryen blood, by marrying Rhaegar to Dorne Aerys could isolate Rhaegar’s growing power block, and it’d insult Tywin. Therefore we readers know this wasn’t a normal marriage. And GRRM, if I’m remembering correctly, called Rhaegar and Elia’s marriage a tragedy.

So, from what little we know it’s fairly easy to conclude that this marriage was not healthy for either party.

When people use the arranged marriage “excuse” they’re not really excusing anything, because they don’t attach the normal standards of marriage to this relationship. The way I see it, most arranged marriages are legal ways to buy and sell people for profit under the guise of marital sanctimony. So to me, both parties (Rhaegar and Elia) should have been able to have lovers outside of their arranged marriage, however, that was not possible because of the patriarchal standards women are unfairly expected to uphold and subject themselves to.

The only “cheating” I wouldn’t justify would be cheating between couples that actually fell in love. Therefore, your usage of Ned Stark to support your point actually doesn’t in my eyes as his and Catelyn’s marriage is love based. There is a clear difference here and equating their marriage to Rhaegar and Elia’s is doing a disservice to GRRM’s writing and any reader of ASOIAF.

To go over some of the other points you made 1) the idea that Rhaegar got with Lyanna specifically for the prophecy is bs that’s been consumed and regurgitated way too many times and has no standing as a legitimate theory if you actually read the books. 2) The idea that people would readily support Rhaegar and Lyanna’s relationship is iffy at best. You’re overstating the North’s standing and image as to many in the South the Northerners are nothing more than barbarians who worship tree gods. The only reason the North seems to have a better standing than Dorne at the moment is because of Ned and Cat’s relationships outside of the North. So no, the world wouldn’t just fall over at Lyanna’s feet and abandon Elia because of xenophobia. If anything, Lyanna and Jon would be the ones in need of protection. 3) Believing that Elia and her children’s lives would be in danger is, quite frankly, an unnecessary concern when taking into account Lyanna and Rhaegar’s personalities and the little we know about Rhaegar’s relationship with his children (he clearly loved them and had a good relationship with them).

To play the devil’s advocate for a sec, I want to say that I completely understand the distaste towards cheating and anything of it’s like. I really do understand why people take issue with Rhaegar and Lyanna’s relationship, however, when taking the entire situation into account I don’t believe that this actually qualifies as “cheating” as we know it, nor do I think it’s okay for stan’s to completely warp a character just because Rhaegar did something as human as falling in love outside of his arranged marriage.

Also, I as a reader love the complexity of this situation. I understand all parties and sympathize with all characters. Frankly, all three characters got the short end of the stick and it’s terrible, but I don’t think it’s the characters and their actions that need changing, I think it’s the volatile system that needs to be upended and rebuilt from the ground up.

Why do people in this fandom normalize an affair between Rhaegar and Lyanna?

Because Rhaegar’s marriage was arranged. So it means the reason for arranged marriage is an excuse for cheating and cheating with a highborn woman and running away with her?

Not like that. Just because the marriage was arranged doesn't make it an excuse to affair and run away with the other woman, especially to fulfill the prophecy.

If the three of them were still alive after the rebellion. And People knew the relationships between Rhaegar and Lyanna, the people would surely support them. Because Lyanna is from the North and she is the Stark. And that put Elia and her children's lives in danger. It can happen like the Blackfyre rebellion. Because a lot of people are racist and sentimental towards Dornish.

This fandom is sick of normalizing an affair between Rhaegar and Lyanna. But if happens to Ned Stark if he really has an affair or their other favorite character in the affair, they will be mad.

[otaku553]

Haha