#I don’t like rambling usually bc if someone hits me with a single response I’ll kms SKDNSJAK like don’t let me embarrass myself‼️‼️‼️

[solargeist]

letting me ramble abt my favourite media is dangerous bc if u change the subject I Will use “Yeah, but uh-“ to bring it back around don’t Even girl we’re in it now hold my hand

[granolabird]

The Weight of Reality

Post 2x08. Sorry guys, there isn’t really a way to fluff this one out. It’s gotta be angsty. Beth finds out about Rick being put in jail, and immidiately calls him. Needless to say, he’s not doing well. Written while listening to Giants by Imagine Dragons on loop bc that’s such a Rick-centric song. 

Warings: One single F bomb. And a lot of sad teenagers. That is all.

Tags: @hournites @bethchapelsbonnet 

If you’d like to be added to my weekly Hournite fic taglist feel free to ask :)

.

Beth is sitting at her desk doing research when she gets the call. It’s ten at night, and fireworks still light the sky outside her house. She’s always hated the fourth of July. Too much noise and partying. Beth was a fan of neither of those things. This fourth of July felt different though. It felt too quiet, what with all the Eclipso business. She was almost thankful for the bright colourful bursts of light outside her window, reassuring she was still in the real world. She was still here. Eclipso couldn’t get to her as long as she had the goggles on.

Her first instinct after the whole Eclipso business had been to phone Rick. He hadn’t responded, which was nothing out of the ordinary. She chalked it up to the bad service at his farm, as that was his usual excuse. When Beth called Courtney and she didn’t respond was when Beth began to worry. Courtney spent all her free time on her phone. She always answered. She was decidedly not answering. Then Beth tried Pat, who she only really called during emergencies, to the same result. She left them all messages of varying concern, telling them about how she really needed to talk, and she had more information on Eclipso. Perhaps the Whitmore-Dugan family were out having a fourth of July celebration. That made sense. That was the option Beth went with.

So that’s how Beth got here. Googling her life away, looking at shady PDF documents on possible origins of Eclipso, and on the original JSA. She didn’t have much but it was something to keep her brain occupied. She’s skimming an article about The Flash and everything that’s known about him when her phone rings. 

It’s Pat.

She almost takes her goggles off before picking it up instinctively, but she corrects herself and leaves them on as she answers the phone. There's a moment of silence on the other side of the line before Pat speaks.

“Beth?”

“Pat! Thank goodness, I’ve been trying to get ahold of you-”

“Beth, I need to tell you something.” There’s a serious tone to his voice. It reminds Beth of the time the hospital called to tell her family that her grandfather was deathly ill. It’s a tone of voice laced with pity, and she hates it. After everything she’s dealt with tonight pity is the last thing she feels like dealing with.

“What’s wrong?”

She keeps her thoughts to herself, instead focusing on figuring out what Pat has to say. There’s more silence on the other end of the line. She can hear what sounds like Courtney crying in the background. She hears Pat take a steadying breath.

“Pat? What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

“It’s Rick.”

Beth’s entire body drops. She feels it. She feels herself crumple. The feeling of dread she thought she’d destroyed when she fought off Eclipso returns instantly, making her feel sick. Rick. 

Something’s happened to Rick.

“Is he…”

“He’s okay, Beth. But he’s in Jail.”

“What?”

“Eclipso got to him. Made him think Matt was Grundy. Rick attacked him, and almost killed him. The police took Rick in. Court and I are at the station now, we’re trying to get it figured out.”

“No.” She can barely hear herself speak.

“Beth I’m so sorry”

“What about the hourglass? Can’t he use that to break out of jail or something?” Beth is scrambling for an answer, a way to help Rick.

“You know he wouldn’t do that Beth, even if he could.”

“If he could?”

“He smashed the Hourglass.”

Beth doesn’t know when she started crying, hot tears flowing down her face. She finally got somewhere with her parents and now this. Now this.

“Beth? Are you okay?”

“Sorry. I’m sorry Pat I just… I need a minute to process.”

“It’s okay Beth. I can call you back later if you want. Then we can talk about what you wanted to tell us?”

Beth wants to say no, that she has to tell them about Eclipso and her immunity to him with the goggles right now but she can’t. She physically cannot. Every time she opens her mouth it feels like fire is creeping up from her lungs. She can barely breathe. 

“Yeah.” 

Is all she can force out.

She’s shaking as Pat hangs up, staring at her cracked phone screen. The photo of her and the rest of her friends smiling split by the nasty lightning-bolt shatters on the glass screen. Broken. She looks at Rick in the photo, his arm slung around her leisurely as he laughs at a joke Mike said before taking the picture. She wants nothing more than to be back with him at that moment. Things seemed so much easier then. 

“I’m sorry Rick. I’m so sorry. I should’ve been there for you.” She murmurs, pressing her forehead to the top of her phone screen.

The phone, of course, provides no response.

She stares at the screen a while longer before she gets an idea, frantically searching up the number of the police station. She’s not sure it’ll work. She’s not well versed in the etiquette of phoning the police station to talk to a newly-arrested teen but it won’t hurt to try, right? 

She hesitates for a moment, her finger hovering over the phone number. She takes a deep breath before she presses it, and then hits the call button.

Ringing

Ringing

And then 

“Blue Valley Police Department, how can I help you?” A deep male voice answers the phone.

“Hi! Sorry, I don’t know if this is the right number to call, or what I’m supposed to be doing here really.” She’s speaking quickly, words blending together in her panic. She takes another deep breath and then continues.

“You have someone I know in detainment? A Rick Tyler? Or maybe he’s under Rick Harris, but that’s not really his name.” She cringes at that statement, but the officer, whoever they are, should call Rick by his real name. He deserves at least that.

“Right. So why exactly are you calling?”

“Oh! Sorry, I’d like to talk to him if that’s possible? I know he’s just gotten there but I’m.. Well I’m his closest friend. I just really need to talk to him.”

“Listen kid, we already have people here trying to figure out what to do with him-”

“Pat and Courtney. They know me, they’d want me to talk to him too. Please. I really need to talk to him. Even if it’s only for a little while. Please.”

A deep sigh on the other end of the line.

“You’re lucky I have a soft spot for young romance. He’s in a detention cell right now. I’ll see what I can do.”

Beth’s mind catches on to the words young romance. She wants to correct the officer and tell her there is no romance, but she doesn’t. Because that would be a lie. There was something. A spark. One that may never turn into anything if Rick gets sent off to a juvenile detention centre somewhere halfway across the country.

“Thank you so much.” Beth breathes, realizing she hadn’t said anything in response.

The officer only grunts, and then she hears the sound of the phone being placed on the table, and footsteps walking away.

It seems like hours before she hears more footsteps, hurried, almost panicked. She hears a vague 

“You have to be quick. I really shouldn’t be doing this.”

No response, only a swoosh of air as the phone is lifted up and then 

“Beth?” Rick’s voice is shaking.

Beth has never heard him so genuinely scared. He sounds terrified, and so deeply sad. He sounds broken. 

“Rick. Rick, I’m here, what happened?”

“Beth.” He repeats her name, and then she hears him sob. 

It’s a guttural noise as he gasps for air, and Beth wishes she could reach through the line to hug him. She wants to be there with him more than anything.

“Rick, it'll be okay.”

“It won’t. I’ve fucked it all up Beth. We can’t fix this one.” He sounds so defeated. 

“We can try. I’m not going to stop trying. This isn’t your fault. We’re going to get you out of this.” “This is my fault. This is entirely my fault. It was bound to happen one day, and now it did. Even Matt knew it, I was destined for the cells. That’s my future.” He’s not even listening to what she’s saying, just rambling to himself at this point.

“Rick-”

“You deserve better than me Beth. You, and the whole team. I’ve been nothing but a dead weight. You’ll be better off without me.”

“RICK.” Beth half-shouts into her phone, tears still burning molten streams down her cheeks.

She hears Rick inhale sharply on the other end of the line. He’s surprised. Good, at least that’ll get him out of his own mind.

“I’m not leaving you and that’s final. Nobody is. You may not think it, but we care about you. A lot. We’re going to get you out of this.”

Another sob on Rick’s end, and she can hear his heavy breathing as he tries, and fails, to regain his composure. 

“I’m sorry. Beth, oh my god I'm so sorry.” She wishes Rick didn’t sound so terrified. 

She wishes there was some way she could reverse time and be there to help him. To make everything better. 

“It’s not your fault. It’s not. Eclipso made you do it. Please, please don’t blame yourself. Please don’t.” She’s pleading, trying to keep her voice from shaking.

“I… Beth I…” He’s at a loss for words. 

She hears the deep voice of the Officer in the background. Shuffling. “I’ve gotta go Beth.” His voice is strained. “Ok. I’ll see you as soon as I can.” Beth offers, hoping it’ll provide him some reassurance.

“Right.”

A deep breath on his end, and then more shuffling and voices. “Beth I.. I lo… I…” He’s really trying to say something, his words choked as he struggles to spit them out. 

Before he can finish his sentence there’s more footsteps and the phone clatters down. A few more seconds of shouts and shuffling before the line cuts out, and Beth is left alone again.

She’s almost certain she knows what he was going to say in that last sentence but she can’t bring herself to think too much about it. It’ll be something to talk about once they get Rick out. They have to get him out. With a sigh Beth returns to staring at her shattered phone screen, still crying. She stares at Rick’s smiling face, and tries to smile back at him. She just wants to be with him. She just wants it all to be okay. She’ll just have to keep telling herself it’ll all be okay. Then, maybe one day it will be. 

It has to be.

[youngbloodlisk]

Kitten // Kim Younghoon

"Your dirty, slutty dream came true, babygirl."

- hard rough dom younghoon

- smut with no plot whatsoever

- thank you to my subconscious for giving me dreams about this

- and thank you 🌙 anon for giving me more and more ideas relating to this and coaxing me on with this whole scenario and getting me super needy and inspired to actually write this out. you're a real one

- "accidental" miniature voyeurism w jacob

- choking

- oral (fem rec)

- unprotected sex WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT

- filthy

- degradation

- fluff near the end if you turn your head and squint

- usually i leave the first line before the cut, but since this one jumps right in with the smut i don't think i'm gonna leave the first line lmao

- the title is rlly just bc this is the first time i've properly used the pet name "kitten" in my writing lol

He presses on my back, arching it further, before returning his hand to my hip.

Younghoon is slamming his body against mine at a rapid pace, hitting extremely deep every time. With my back arched more, he can now reach even further inside me.

Explicits roll off my tongue and I press my face into the sheets to muffle my sounds. My hands are grabbing and clawing at the sheets like my life depends on it.

My his sweatshirt is still on my body, but bunched up. The only part of me that isn't exposed is my chest, a bit of my back, and my arms. Meanwhile, he's still fully clothed, with his pants just low enough to have his cock out.

He actually likes to use the excuse that he's self-conscious, but I know full well that he isn't insecure at all around me or any of the guys anymore. I can also just tell when he's lying. I think he doesn't wanna admit that he finds it super hot to fuck me with as many clothes left on as possible. I'm not gonna complain though. It is pretty hot.

My vision is starting to get blurry, and my body almost feels numb to my mind. All I can think about is how good he's making me feel.

He's mostly silent, letting out a few low grunts and growls, unless he's talking to me.

He digs his fingers into me, clearly starting to lose himself in the feeling.

My body jolts with each thrust from him, but only slightly, thanks to his ever-tightening grip on my hips.

I stare at the door, which is wide open, as I have been almost the entire time Younghoon's been drilling into me like this.

I've been waiting and waiting for someone to walk by and see way more than they bargained for.

I'm sure they've been avoiding walking this way though, as the sounds have definitely given away what's taking place.

My whining, my muffled moaning and screaming, his grunting, and skin against skin...

So, I'm not sure why Jacob ends up walking by the door... or why he stands there and watches for a moment, frozen, locking into my tear-filled eyes.

I struggle as I try to prop myself up on my elbows, trying to at least be in a position that wasn't so humiliating.

Younghoon is quick to notice this, and notice why I'm doing it.

"Your dirty, slutty dream came true, babygirl. Someone caught you." He says in the most condescending way possible before going even harder and faster (which I didn't think was even possible).

My arms go entirely weak and my face falls back onto the mattress with an embarrassing, involuntary cry of pleasure.

Jacob quickly realizes he's been watching, and turns to leave, but not before accidentally letting his smirk show.

"Did you notice how hard he was getting, kitten? I bet he's going to his room to jerk off thinking about you getting ruined like this..." I clench around Younghoon at his words. "Oh, you like that, you slut?" His hands leave my hips, one of them wrapping around my stomach and the other wrapping around my neck. He tightens both grips and pulls my body up to be as far against his as possible without pulling out.

Younghoon's sweet, yet (in this context) demonic voice whispers in my ear.

"I hope you always remember that you're only mine to ruin." He emphasizes words with hard thrusts. "You know I'm the only one who can make you feel like this, don't you, kitten?"

All I can force out of my mouth is mumblings and whispered moaning, my brain entirely going haywire as his hold on my neck tightens again and he thrusts up into me.

My legs feel like gelatin.

"I've got you speechless, huh?" He lets go of me, let's my almost limp body fall back onto the mattress before grabbing my hips again, and drills into me.

He's truly showing no mercy.

"Tell me, kitten... do you think Jacob would fuck you like this?"

"N...No-" I barely squeeze out.

"Who fucks you like this, huh? Say his name."

"Y-Younghoon..." It comes out like a whisper.

He digs his fingers into me again, on purpose this time.

"Say it loud, you slut. Who?"

"Younghoon!" It would have taken all of my energy to scream his name the way I did, but it didn't. He started to rub circles on my clit while still pounding into me, causing me to scream his name naturally.

I can feel his ego rise by the second.

He gives me no warning, besides his thrusts becoming jerky and inconsistent, before he coats my insides with his cum.

He pulls out once he's done and I whine, being so close to my own release and suddenly having nothing.

My hand reaches down to touch myself, but he grabs my wrist and pushes my arm away. Younghoon flips me over and within seconds has his mouth attached to my pussy.

I swear that we're gonna get a noise complaint because my hand is doing a really shitty job at covering my screams and moans as Younghoon licks and sucks on me, pulling me closer and closer to the orgasm of a lifetime.

My toes are curled tight and my chest rises and falls intensely.

He's told me a million times when he's being this rough that I'm not allowed to touch any of him without permission, so no matter how badly I wanna tug on his hair, I resist.

One hand holds tightly to the sheet while the other one covers my mouth.

Younghoon glances up at me and grabs my hand, pulling it away from my mouth and holding me by the wrist.

He stops just long enough to say:

"Be loud, kitten. I love hearing your voice."

His lips wrap around my clit and he sucks hard, finally allowing my orgasm to wash over my exhausted body hard, and I moan his name loudly.

There's no way that a single person in the house isn't aware of what's just happened.

He licks between my folds to help me come down from my high, careful to avoid my clit so he doesn't overstimulate me too much.

"Younghoon!" Sangyeon's voice yells from across the house. "Did you forget about the Love Revolution cast event tonight? Jihoon's outside with his car to pick you up!"

"Oh shit..." Younghoon's eyes go wide and he quickly starts taking off his casual clothes. "Tell him I'll be there in just a minute!"

I laugh when he falls over trying to pull his sweatpants off, and he remembers my presence. "Babygirl, I'm so sorry I have to just leave you like this." He rambles as he gets dressed in some nice clothes as fast as possible. "Don't go home, stay here tonight. I promise when I get back I'll cuddle you and give you kisses and talk to you as long as you want. I'm so sorry, I know it's just terrible of me to be that rough and then immediately leave you. You know I wanna be here to care for you-"

"Younghoon, shut up." I chuckle, sitting up on the bed. "I do know you wanna stay, but you have responsibilities. It's okay, really. I'll be here when you get back, baby. Just have a fun night with your cast-mates, okay?"

He finished tying his shoe and sighs, coming over to me and landing a sweet kiss on my lips. I can still taste myself on him.

"I love you." He says with the most thankful and gratitude, as if to imply a "what did I do to deserve you?".

"I love you, too."

"Kim Younghoon!" This time it's Jihoon's voice, clearly coming from the front door.

"Coming!"

Younghoon hurries out of the room and I notice he left so fast that his phone is still sitting the bedside table.

I grab it and follow after him, silently thanking this sweatshirt for being long enough to fully cover my bare body. My legs are still pretty much fully exposed, but as long as no one sees me walking around with my ass hanging out, that's fine by me.

"Younghoon! Phone." He turns and I toss his phone to him, which he catches swiftly.

"Thanks, baby. See you later."

"Have fun!"

I feel a few pairs of eyes on me and look around to notice Kevin, Chanhee, Sangyeon, and Jihoon all staring at my legs.

"Park Jihoon!" Younghoon mocks Jihoon's tone from before.

"S-Sorry!" Jihoon follows Younghoon out the door, but Younghoon quickly peeks his head back in before the door shuts.

"No one touches my girlfriend or they're dead, got it? But look at her all you want." He tosses me a teasing look and a wink, finally closing the door behind him.

[necropsittacus]

for the ask thing, all the ones you have an interesting answer for

this is extremely long because I Love Oversharing so under a cut. thanks britta!!!

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?tea, black; i've tried putting extra spices in it but i think i'm not doing it right bc it gets grainy and weird? i don't drink coffee anymore for "hey maybe we should stop consuming this thing that makes us feel like we're actually about to die" reasons but when i did it was with a fuckton of cream5. are you self-conscious of your smile?yeah; less so since i actually brush my teeth semi routinely now, so they're less awful, but i still have a slight overbite and a residual habit of covering my mouth with my hand if i open it very much 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?either weird vent fanfiction that i never end up finishing, drawing in my notebooks, or i try to make the overly dramatic/pretentious thoughts that pop into my head into poetry (which i never end up finishing, go figure).9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?used to, but it's like. even besides insecurity about my voice and the fear that i'll be Too Loud and bother someone. the same internal barrier that makes it hard to speak out loud, especially if i'm not directly prompted to, applies to singing10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?usually side, and in the fetal position. occasionally back though13: what’s something that made you smile today?saw a chickadee!14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?god i don't know that's like. that's the fucking dream, for the future, but i hadn't gotten as far as daydreaming about *decoration* or anything of that sort. at the moment i tend towards covering things in movie posters and little trinkets i accumulate and toys and that sort of thing. i know i couldn't do sharing a room with someone else long term, it'd get stressy, so at least two bedrooms (or a bedroom and a pull out couch in the living room, that'd work), a little kitchen. no minimalism, but i might like having primary responsibility for Housecleaning sorts of things for my loved ones, or keeping things reasonably neat. just. something that feels like a proper home. safe. 16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?i am extremely boring and usually just do fettuccine alfredo. that said, cheese ravioli and pesto products are also very good. i just don't like super complicated foods with ingredients i don't recognize, or red sauce. red sauce is Sensory Bad.  17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?i mean i've been dyeing mine black since i was like 17 to the point that people think that's the natural color and i just let them, and honestly i'm very happy with thatred looked good on me, and i definitely like the way a lot of those super bright unnatural purples, blues, etc look on other people but it doesn't feel like "yes this is Correct this is what i'm Supposed to Look Like, this is the color it was *supposed* to be all along" in the same way, it just feels like i'm dyeing it a weird color for fun18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up."mola mola isn't a slur, right?"20: what’s your favorite eye color?idk about "favorite" but dark brown eyes are really pretty22: are you a morning person?i tend to be more productive and (assuming at least like five or six hours of sleep) more cheerful in the morning, but getting out of bed is a horrible struggle bc executive dysfunction and anxiety23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?tbh i HATE having those days, i don't like being super busy Either but i get really like bored/restless/I Am Going to Rip My Skin Off to Have Something to Do Please Let Me Out of the House if i genuinely don't have anything scheduled for a day? so i usually *make* obligations for myself, writing projects or something like that, if i don't have anything externally enforced. and go to the library or a cafe or something bc i feel more alive if i don't stay in my room all day24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?yeah26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?i mean i've only had them for like a year bc it turns out that wearing the same pair of shoes almost every day wears through them pretty fast, who would have thought? but black combat boots28: sunrise or sunset?sunset31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.they hurt but i p much only wear boots so i have to wear them all the time. also my feet are weird and fucked up and i don’t especially like looking at them. and then i forget to take them off to sleep so i just. wear them all the time except to shower. i like weird socks with like animal pictures or whatever but then i feel bad abt wearing them bc i wear out socks really fast for unclear reasons34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?ooh i had a lot!! most of them were sea mammals, a couple sharks i think? i had a couple rabbits when i was Really small but i don't remember them as clearlyi can't remember most of their names but they had whole like imagined stories and relationships to each other and shit, i definitely remember there was one stuffed orca that was almost as big as kindergartener me35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?oh absolutely!! i write mostly in pencil for ease of corrections and so it doesn't bleed through the paper, but i accumulate pens/weird ink colors/etc37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?see i *prefer* having my room be clean but it literally never is 39: what color do you wear the most?black. combination of "trying to be low effort goth" and that idk how to coordinate colors so all my outfits are either all black or like. black + one other color + possibly grey, bc i figure there's no way that could end up clashing horribly. also i only HAVE black pants anyway so like. 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?mm i know accident by christa wolf hit me pretty hard in some emotions, and that was recent44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?i'm not sure that's an emotion i have tbhwhen i'm happy there's this kind of anxious edge to it, not necessarily in a bad way, but "at peace" is. an odd concept for me. the closest i get is this sort of quiet not-exactly-negative melancholy if i'm not behind on anything and it's raining and everything's just sort of soft yknow? 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?marinara sauce. i hate that shit. i'll eat it on pizza or if i literally have to in order to get a meal and i can't physically handle not having one, but that's about it. also tomatoes more generally! i like ketchup but that's it. why do yall insist on putting tomatoes on everything all the time i Don't Like Them50: what’s an odd thing you collect?i keep all the toys i get out of kinder eggs and stuff like that. also i just have hyperempathy about inanimate objects and animals (and basically no empathy for humans most of the time, weirdly enough) and it's frequently difficult for me to throw things away because "well i'll be hurting it!" so uh. i just accumulate objects. i still have my old toothbrush somewhere55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?i straight up tried to kill myself to win an argument with mom once in high school. and i'm not talking like a mini fakeout attempt that wasn't supposed/expected to work, either, i did regret it but i was straight up prepared to die to get her to believe me 56: what are some things you find endearing in people?rambling/talking about your interests, emotional openness. if you like. send me things that reminded you of me/you thought i'd like, or initiate physical contact so i don't have to feel so weird/guilty about it, that's a very fast path to my affections. just being weird as shit. lots of little things, really. depends on the person a lot, though; either "person is Soft and Good and i feel like it's my responsibility to protect them" or "person is Kind of Scary/Edgy and i will attach myself to them and remain loyal no matter what and they appreciate it" are pretty consistent things, but those are a long way from the Only paths to my affection58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?awfully bold of you to assume i have a friend group and not just a disparate group of friends who mostly don't talk to each other. i AM semi consistently the weird vodka uncle though. 59: what’s your favorite myth?LOTS. that's not quite a fair question i can't pick one favoritethe volsunga saga does come to mind, though60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?i do!!! i thought i didn't because turns out the things they make you read in high school english are often Not Terribly Emotionally Resonant for me, funnily enough, but when i started reading russian poetry in college, and more mental illness focused stuff tbh, it was like Oh Shit This Is Really Cool. i really like vladimir mayakovsky!61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?when i was really small i gave my dad a  care bears coloring book for his birthday because for some reason i didn't process that other people didn't have exactly the same interests as me??62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?i drink either unsweetened green tea or monster energy drinks in the morning. depends how much of a disaster i'm being on that particular day. 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?all my music is online or haphazardly downloaded to my phone so there's. not really any way to organize that if i wanted to tbh. i make a lot of character or ship playlists that i'd put more effort into organizing if i ever got around to showing them to other people, but Also anything that isn't too embarrassing to risk anyone else seeing just gets put in one folder. i DO organize my books, though. i usually *forget* to put them back where they're supposed to go, but there is a proper order (everything from one author or franchise together, stuff like star wars or tolkien is together and in in-universe chronological order, stuff like that), and i get upset if people fuck with it67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?nice. it's very calming, and also bright sunlight hurts my eyes fjgshtf68: what’s winter like where you live?not very different from fall most of the time. climate change is making it more midwest-y, which i'm not sure if i'm happy about or not (snow nice, but summer is also progressing in that direction, which is unfortunate). somewhere between the 30's and 50's (fahrenheit), mostly pretty grey, it rains sometimes. it's not cold enough that i need to have a real coat, usually sweater+leather jacket is enough. my hands always hurt, though70: have you ever used a ouija board?yeah i used to do it with my brother sometimes. nothing ever happened tho76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?i need to write my paper proposal for nuclear lit and also draw some stuff for people that i've been putting off because my brain hates me and Catching Up On Everything I Should Have Been Doing a While Ago Is Scary77: pink or yellow lemonade?both? both is good78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?i have no real feelings on minions one way or the other but i have no interest in them and don't like seeing them all the time79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?someone i used to know was going to move away from their abusers and get a job and such, partly or mostly For Me, so we could run away and start things over together after i graduated. and then things blew up but. it was very sweet and sometimes i get emotional about the concept of that still 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?three white, one blue. i didn't choose it, it came with the dorm room. my bedroom in my parents house has really dark blue walls, which i DID choose bc i wanted a dark color and my brother already had red ones and i wanted to distinguish myself from him. 82: are/were you good in school?mmm more or less, yes i'm terrible at certain kinds of projects and at getting stuff done without pretty much devastating my physical ability to function pushing myself at the last minute. that said, i'm very good at tests, good at papers, good at language learning and bullshit analysis. it's just like. PLEASE don't give me "fun creative projects!!!" or start with the "oh well tests aren't a good way of measuring learning, here's some other stuff that will be easier for you!" thing. i *like* tests. tests make sense and it's just sit down for an hour and you're done. it's the other stuff that's hard also i'm so used to my mother's ridiculous standards that it's like. yes i am good at school, in that my professors keep telling me i am Very Smart and things of that nature. but also i am terrible at taking care of myself while i have school because me being good at school is to some extent reliant on my brain's false insistence that Everybody Else Has Perfect Grades and Is Killing Themselves Slowly To Be The Best, so clearly we need to do that too! and any sacrifice is worth it! so eventually i just collapse84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?yeah definitely, at some point. there's other things that are more pressing to spend my limited amount of non-parent-controlled money on right now, but i know i want like. some manner of thing referencing my chronic turin turambar (self dx) status, probably his grave inscription or a sword (or both eventually!). probably also a bird of some sort85: do you read comics? what are your faves?see i'll happily read comics if there's a franchise i'm already interested in that has comics as part of it, but i'm not like a Comics Fan per se. i tend to find them kind of overwhelming because there's just So Much content and i don't know where to start and i usually get distracted before i finish. i did really enjoy mtmte and the tdc creation myths comics89: are you close to your parents?nope! i send my dad animal pictures, and vice versa, and that's about the extent of it when i'm not staying with them for breaks. mom's...Difficult(TM) and dad i get along with fine but i don't really know how to text him 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?drowns. i want to be able to actually taste it.93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?my hair is too short to really have Different Styles. i just keep it combed pretty neatly bc that's the only thing i know how to do afngjdsgf94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?my friend emma @autisticsansamaybe people i care less about had them more recently but tbh if we aren't friends i don't know when your birthday is without being told96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?i have literally never updated this laptop because it does not have space for an update. this isn't even my fault. i have deleted *every single thing on it that is not important to make it actually run* in order to have enough space to update, and it STILL doesn't. 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?a few months ago i would have said 5 years into the past, because i Desperately missed aspects of how my life was at that part of high school--mostly having people i loved and who loved me, who wanted a future with me, and the certainty of that, that i wouldn't just be On My Own Forever post educational system--but now? future. high school fucking *sucked* in a lot of ways, and also i was a terrible person and i don't especially want to go back to that version of me. future is like...scary because yeah there is a decent possibility i'll just be pretty much totally alone and having to work a job i hate to keep up, but like. there is also a possibility that i'll have the things i wanted all along in a more stable context, yknow?

[glitterblazercalum]

hii 😊 very happy that you had a nice day & that was such a lovely thing to say thank you very much 💕 and oh well tumblr is so mean but anyway i write most responses in my notes app so i can just send it again now with some slight readjustments 🙈

so firstly i loved seeing some benedict and nate shade 🙈

and OH MY GOD 😂 that's all the confirmation i'll ever need, ashton is a herondale.

honestly that logic checks out too though and is enough to convince me that calum is perfect as jem 😅 jem's the best isn't he? my best friend is currently reading tmi and will read tid afterwards and we talked a little about it and i literally teared up just bc i started talking about how much i love him 🙈 (yes i might be too emotionally invested in these books/characters but well it could be worse)

michael as sophie. what a fucking concept. oh my god wait that fits so nicely with sophie's feelings for jem. but also michael as gabriel. being mean. yes. michael still as magnus just randomly kissing ashton to make his ex jealous. yes. why is michael just every single character. ME READING FURTHER AND FINALLY REGISTERING WHAT YOU SAID AND THUS NOW ONLY BEING ABLE TO WRITE IN CAPS LOCK BC MICHAEL AS BRIDGET? FUCK YES! BRIDGET THE ACTUAL FUCKING QUEEN! .. can you tell which character i would really like michael to be

i would love to know what you thought of tlbotw if you finished it bc i still haven't gotten over how much i hated it -shadowhunters anon

hi hi!! first of all, i’m slightly jealous of your ask privileges bc I still haven’t gotten the update that makes it so there’s no character limit on my asks and I think it’s really rude that I can’t just send the full lyrics of drag me down by 1d to anyone I want in just one, nice, easy-to-read ask >:((( i do have to say it’s very smart to write out asks before you send them I just kind of go to people’s ask boxes and ramble until I hit the limit for how many I can send in one hour 

ok putting the rest under a read more bc it’s long and maybe spoilers for stuff? idrk what is or isn’t a spoiler at this point lmao 

oh dude I will throw benedict + nate shade all day every day! ALSO speaking of BAD members of the lightwood family, tatiana blackthorn in chain of gold made me want to rip my hair out honestly

sjkdbksdbsd yeah calum as jem was a very no thoughts head empty choice but I still stand by it! and omg same one of my friends is working her way through tmi rn too! i think she’s on city of glass, so tid is soon (eyes emoji)! and babe that’s so valid I am also so so invested in all the shadowhunters characters but ESPECIALLY jem 

right?? michael works as so many different characters that it feels like a crime to just limit him to one but i wholeheartedly agree that michael as bridget is SUCH an iconic concept. idk if I made this up but I think I remember someone referencing bridget in qoaad and fully losing my mind over it, bridget’s just such an iconic character. 

sadly I stopped reading tlbotw at like 25% bc I really, really did not vibe with it. first off, the prologue felt so weirdly stilted, and Magnus’s dialogue was so out of character that I could not stand to keep reading it. I remember the part right at the beginning where he’s talking to shinyun and ragnor when they break in he’s like “also blah blah blah, also blah blah blah, also also blah blah” and I HATED that. I was like what is going on with cassie’s writing here?? so yeah, dialogue was too off, alec and magnus felt too ooc, just could Not do it. I do still have it downloaded onto my phone, so the option to go back to it is there, though I don’t think I’ll be taking it lmao. I don’t usually dnf books, so I was really surprised at just how much i actually disliked the experience of reading it lmao. no hate to cassie or anything but god this one was just A Miss. 

wow, sorry, that’s a lot of negative thoughts let’s fix the vibes uhhhh what’s one happy thing that happened for you today?