#I don’t know why I loved writing this chapter

[sprinklesoncake]

While I sip on my apple tea and eat my apple pie, let me tell you another my opinion of Calebs storyline.

Warning: Spoilers!

First of all, I was always a Caleb stan the moment I saw him and chapter 4 broke me back then. My worry was, how the devs will handle him in the story. It is hard writing a character who is suppose to be dead in MCs eyes.

His introduction was🥵 him in uniform and then using his evol against an assassin had me feel things and then the scene where the fleet landed and him in his sunglasses AHHHHHH!

The interrogation was also hot af! But that’s not my point, I could go on for days talking about how sexy Caleb is lol When they hugged you could actually feel the relief on both sides. Let me say this but MC in this story was better than before in my opinion.

And I know a lot are creep out by his possessiveness but knowing that he also lost his parents as a young child he probably was already traumatised and then MC came into his life, someone who gave him warmth, that little boy wanted to start protecting his sun so bad. In his anecdotes there is a hint that Caleb was already possessive like he is now. He almost lost his life too during his training as an aerospace pilot but the only thing that kept him fighting was the thought of MC. And now after the explosion he took the sacrifice to be an experiment so that MC won’t have to go through that. In his mind it’s better to be alive than letting MC fight on her own.

And that chip??? Every soldier seems to have in the fleet where they basically become cold and emotionless soldiers? Or when that kid was crying for his sister’s death and the chip realised an error? MC in his myth was implementing one into herself (Might be wrong but I think it is heavily implied) and the chip made her go crazy. She thought there is no tomorrow! Maybe that chip also makes Calebs fear even bigger and that’s why he’s like that now. And possessiveness might not be count as a “weak feeling” by the system.

His possessiveness throughout the main story makes more sense now if you keep that in mind. Am I still mad that he drugged us? Absolutely! But it shows me how easy it is for love turning into possession, the fear he feels makes him do things he normally wouldn’t act out. He wants to protect his sun so bad.

MC however wants to go back in time where everything was still alright. She sees that Caleb is in pain, that someone who had no secrets with her suddenly is not telling her everything. Unlike Zayne, who MC met again as basically “a stranger”, Caleb was constantly in her life and both of them didn’t want to be separated ever. It is understandable that she can’t grasp the “new Caleb” yet.

Both of them yearn for each other so badly and want whats best for the other one but they need to understand that none of them is the same as before. MC is not a child, she knows things about herself which she can’t ignore anymore and Caleb needs to accept that. MC on the other hand needs to accept that after the explosion, Caleb due to circumstances is not the Caleb she knew before.

I was so happy when the start of his myth told us that they found a way to coexist but you could feel that they don’t fully accept it 100%. Yet both of them are ready to die for each other.

And let’s not forget that MC is possessive herself. In his 4* where MC kisses his cheek, the story was about how MC thought he got a love letter and knowing how Caleb never accepted one before, she got curious. She vaguely asked Caleb in 3rd person and he thought she had a crush on someone. Both of them were restless and who tf gets restless not knowing your best friend crush?? UNLESS you yourself are possessive for that person. And the promise they both made at the end? “You promise to not ever get a girlfriend!” That is one cruel promise to make UNLESS again, you are possessive if each other and deep down you know you’ll end up together😂Crazy finds crazy😂

I really like how the devs wrote this story. It is exactly how I thought the vibe would be between those two and I can’t wait for the next story cards and main story.

What is your thought, dear reader?

[ebsmind]

⏾ MEET ME AT MIDNIGHT | jack hughes x singer!reader smau

summary : trying to struggle releasing a new album and doing press can be too much, are people starting to speculate that it’s taking a toll on your relationship?

warning(s) : break up mentions (poor reader 😕), a couple of cuss words i think idk,

a/n : AHHHH HERES THE FIRST CHAPTER i’m so excited to start this series!! i did create this series around midnight (if the shows fits) and i just knew i needed to get this first chapter out ASAP so here it is!!! im taking each chapter slow and steady since ive never done any type of series before. i also wanted to lyk that each chapter is named after a song but most won’t have a lot of correlation to the songs! also ik jack isn’t in this one (spoiler sorry) but he will soon! i promise i have a vision 😋 i hope yall enjoy and i love you!

series masterlist

liked by taylorswift, gracieabrams, vincedunn and others

ynuser surprise! Midnights out on october 21st! 🌌💜✨

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user1 OMG OMG OMG ITS HAPPENINGGGGGGG

user2 CLAIMING LABYRINTH

taylorswift So proud of you my little bird!! Thank you for having me featured on an amazing album 💜

❤️ by author

user3 sweet nothing is def about vince 😋

yourbestfriendsuser she put blood, sweat, and tears into this!!! ya'll better not do her dirty EVERRRRRR

| ynuser clock it

user4 the album cover EATSSSSS

user5 DOES THIS MEAN UR GOING ON TOUR???

gracieabrams OMG (i knew about this for months)

| ynuser the best secret keeper EVER

yourmomsuser So proud you honey!!

| ynuser i love you mom!❤️

user6 taylor being featured on snow on the beach YESSSSSS

user7 KARMA IS MINEEEE

sabrinacarpenter ALBUM OF THE YEAR I FEAR???

❤️ by author

user8 what’s it like carrying the music industry on ur back queen?

| ynuser i need to see a chiropractor immediately

vincedunn 💜💙

on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon…

liked by jimmyfallon, vincedunn, taylorswift and others

ynuser kicking off midnights press with the best tv host ever!!

tagged : @/jimmyfallon

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jimmyfallon It was great having you on the show!

❤️ by author

user1 a duo i didn’t know i needed

user2 sweet nothings being the first song written and with vince 🥹

vincedunn sick asf babe!!

user3 i can’t wait another week for this album OMG

user4 why hasn’t she been liking vince’s comments :(

| user5 oh bye that is not our business

user6 her writing all the songs around midnight I LOVE THIS WOMAN

user7 am i the only one that notices that her eyes don’t light up anymore when she or anyone mentions vince???

| user8 oh ur REACHING

liked by yourbestfriendsuser, yourmomsuser, vincedunn and others

ynuser breaking news! Midnights is out now! maybe stay up until 3am for a little surprise!

view comments

user1 I LOVE THIS ALBUM SO MUCH

user2 u took my heart out of my chest and squeezed it with ur bare head with YOYOK

taylorswift Congratulations!! I can’t wait to see you at the Grammy’s this year 😉

user3 crying this is my album

user4 SNOW ON THE BEACH WITH TAYLOR??? EATSSSSS

yourbestfriendsuser TIME TO GET OUR SPARKLY DRESSES ONNNNNN

user5 we want more taylor pls

user6 KARMA IS THE GUY ON THE SCREEN COMING STRAIGHT HOME TO ME 💃💃💃

yourrecordlabel 🔥🔥

user7 bejeweled is THAT GIRLLLLL

user8 wait vince wasn’t at the midnights release party??

| user9 omg they better not have broken up istg

| user10 let’s not spread false information….

user11 THE OUTFITS CHANGES HAHAHA

| ynuser listen…i couldn’t decide

liked by yourmomsuser, vincedunn, _quinnhughes and others

ynuser cats out of the bag!! i wrote an extra 7 songs and created a 2nd version of my album ✨ welcome Midnights (3am Edition) 💜

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[j0kers-light]

Hello light!

Could you cook us a submissive Joker oneshot???

His Lighthouse: Attention (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Attention- Oneshot

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER UPDATE!

I love being called Light omg! ☺️☺️ a total of 8 people have asked for sub!Joker. Eight!!! I did this but I need to do it again because the gurls are getting desperate.

I don’t want a rock through my window anon lol. I remember that. 🥴

Disclaimer: I suck at sub!Joker (dodges the tomatoes thrown at me) I am team dom!Joker but it’s not about me. It’s about us. Chef Chaos in the kitchen! Dinner is served. 👩🏾‍🍳👩🏽‍💻 please keep in mind I edited this while being sick so if there's mistakes.. no there isn't.

As always, If you wish to be a part of the His Lighthouse taglist, do let me know via comment, ask, or a quick direct message! 🖤✨

Any minute now and Joker was gonna lose what little sanity he had left. You were torturing him. You had to be! Why else would you deny him this long?

You were always doing something. Cooking, writing, reading, too sleepy, whatever! Joker really tried to be reasonable regarding your excuses. The first night he came home in a mood, he kissed up on you and earned a faint gasp— only to hear your sweet voice say, “J, it’s too early.”

You did have an early zoom meeting but that had nothing to do with him. It was four am and he was horny. You didn’t have to do a thing but lie there and feel good, but your whines convinced him otherwise.

“Yeah.. late. Early? Blah blah, time is a uhhh funny thing no?”

Joker reluctantly let you sleep, knowing he’d have all afternoon to have you. He kissed your hair and settled for holding you close as you fell back asleep. He was a patient man; he could wait for what he wanted.

But then your morning call dragged on well into the afternoon. By the time you logged off, you were mentally exhausted and only had the energy to fix something to eat and recharge for the next day. You crashed in bed, completely forgetting about Joker and missing his disappointed pout.

He brooded the entire night and yes, he killed innocent people because he was denied sex.

Again: Not. His. Problem.

Joker could wait until you were free to have your full undivided attention. Because he needed all of it for the things he wanted to do to you. Tomorrow was a new day—that is, until it became a trend for you to be too busy to spare J any time.

If you did have a spare moment, Joker always caught you at the wrong time like right before you were due for a meeting, or when you were nose deep writing a crucial scene. If he didn’t know any better, Joker would have thought you were brushing him off on purpose but your apologizes were genuine.

He made do calming his erections down or distracting himself to avoid arousal altogether but there was only so much a man could do. It was right there!

Sure, he could jerk off but where was the fun in that? His hand was nothing compared to yours or the warm vice that your pussy created. Man, he missed her. When was the last time he slid home or tasted all you had to offer? He couldn’t remember when.

Joker was not above begging (he’d done it once or twice since knowing you) but still. He wasn’t that hopeless.

Honestly, Joker didn’t know why he was lying to himself. He was that hopeless. Enough was enough.

Joker went an entire week and a half patiently waiting for you. It was torture to have you so close every day yet being unable to touch you. And the worst part? You were blissfully unaware that Joker was suffering.

He had to endure seeing your beautiful body walking around in the clothes you dare call loungewear. They were weapons of mass destruction in his eyes, no doubt about it.

Your plushy thighs barely contained by your shorts—what he’d do to have them in his hands; no. He wanted to leave bite marks on every inch and soothe them with his tongue. Thighs like yours were made to be worshipped. Squeezed. Devoured. Claimed. And he wanted to die being suffocated by them.

Joker was literally going through withdrawals he was so desperate!

Every time he closed his eyes; he saw you in his favorite position. Whenever his fingers brushed against something soft; he was reminded of your supple skin slick with sweat. He heard your innocent hums or sighs, and the sound shot to his dick, reminding him of times you made the same sounds in the throes of passion. He wanted your voice hoarse with tears streaming down your cheeks as he plowed..

Easy there. Down boy.. Down. Joker thought to himself.

You even haunted his random thoughts! You turned him to an addict waiting for the next high and as each day passed, he became more and more desperate to reach it. He was more than needy. Joker was deprived of his Light and feral. He would do anything for a sliver of your attention.

Two weeks going on three proved to be his breaking point. If you didn’t attend to his needs then he would take matters into his own hands and force you to.

Thankfully you gave him the perfect opportunity to plead his case. Joker came home and for once, you weren’t seated in front of your laptop.

You weren’t holding up a finger for him to be quiet. No headset on or handwritten notes scattered across your desk. No. You were in the kitchen chopping up some vegetables with music playing softly in the background.

It was neutral ground. Joker took hesitant steps until you acknowledged his presence with a smile. Okay... you didn’t look busy, nor did you tell him to leave. Was this his chance? You seemed to be in a good enough mood.

Just to be sure, Joker came up behind you and kissed your shoulder. It was bare due to the tank top you wore and f__k... you weren’t wearing a bra. This was torture indeed.

J buried his nose in the crook of your neck to block out the pungent smell of onions and instead soaked up the rich smell of you. You smelled divine as always. The strands of his hair tickled your skin the more he nuzzled in closer.

“Hm, that tickles.” Yet you didn’t stop your meal prep.

He was right there, why couldn’t you give him your attention?! He huffed and planted more kisses on the expanse of your neck and shoulders. You didn’t push him away so he took things to the next level by groping your breasts through the thin material of your top.

Now that got you to pause your music. “Joker. I’m cooking."

A rare whine escaped his throat, “’n I’m hungry.” He bit the spot where your neck met your jaw; your favorite erogenous zone.

“T-then let me cook. J.. quit it.” You shivered when his hands slipped under your shirt and finally touched you skin to skin. The initial contact sucked the air from your lungs, but you pressed forward. “This is my first time making this dish and I.. oh right there.. I don’t w-want to ruin it!”

Joker’s lips left your neck with a wet pop. Did he really had to beg for what he wanted? So be it then.

“But what about meeee, Bun? You’re ruining me. I.. I..” He groaned as he pinched your nipples into stiff peaks. Your body was responding to his needs, why couldn’t that pretty head of yours follow suit?

He whined again and started grinding his dick into your back, all but pining you to the kitchen counter. You weren't escaping this. Joker would not let you. “I... oh sweetheart, I um..”

You heard Joker stumbling over his words (and not his usual theatrical stumbles). Something was wrong. You turnt your head and barely caught J biting his lips. “Joker, are you okay?”

His green hair concealed his eyes from your view. He was a mess with his freckled face all rosy red with want but that’s not how you saw it. J looked in pain.

You dropped the chef knife and focused your attention on Joker. Finally. It’s all he wanted these past few weeks. Your attention. Undivided. Squarely on him.

He let you turn in his arms and he hummed when your hands cupped his scarred face. His cheeks were flushed and there was a glassy look in his eye that had you worried. “J? Are you catching a cold?”

What did he do to deserve this? Joker groaned and dropped his head to your chest. So soft. “Nuh uh. I just, mmm.” Why was it suddenly so hard to ask?

Maybe because you starved him for so long and now that he had your attention, it was just too much to take in. Your thumbs moved on autopilot and rubbed Joker’s scars, but you gasped when he caught one in his mouth and sucked.

Oh. Oh no.

You were speechless as Joker looked up through his long lashes. You knew that look. Granted you only seen it once, it was a state you could never forget. You thought it would be a one-time occurrence but as you took in the turbulent emerald waters in Joker’s eyes, you already knew what mindset he had slipped into.

“Can I have ya M-Mommy? I been verrrrry patient, so patient but I.. I need p-please? I need ya.”

Joker didn’t give you time to respond, he growled lowly and swept an arm across the countertop—sending food and other ingredients flying. You had a mind to scold him, but J already lifted you onto the counter before you could string a sentence together.

Your shrieked at the cold surface hitting your thighs but Joker’s hands parted them like a hot knife to butter. His lips were everywhere, telling you exactly what was on his mind.

You you you you you you you. Finally, he had you.

His hands were eager, pawing at your clothes—he needed them gone, he wanted access to your skin, your body, your warmth. There was so much to do, so little time. What if you denied him again before he had his way? No! Joker needed this. He needed you.

He latched onto your nipples over the cotton fabric and suckled. Your hands flew into his hair as a result. “Joker!”

He hummed, sending vibrations on your skin even as he grew inpatient and clawed at your waist hidden by your pesky shorts. The stupid thing could double as underwear it was so scandalous. Perhaps you underestimated just how desperate Joker truly was.

The fabric was like tissue paper in his hands although he didn’t dwell much on the loss nor on your startled gasp. He was one step closer to his goal.

His mind was flooded with the concept of you. The sounds you made, the way you responded to his touch. He was going insane(r).

You yelped feeling his hand snake in between your thighs and rub at your entrance. Joker groaned against your chest feeling the wetness coating his fingers. “Mm, soooo wet Mommy. Already? Are ya wet for meee? I knew it, you need this too.”

His words hit hard and caused more slick to pool into his palm. “Shhh, I know, I know.” J shushed your cries when he plunged his fingers inside your pussy and began to pump them nice and hard.

The stretch was unexpected; you forgotten the last time you and Joker were intimate. Work took a lot out of you these past few weeks. Sex was the last thing on your mind but Joker was so kind to reintroduce you to the concept.

The wet slick sound of your pussy was loud in your ears and Joker amplified it by moving his fingers faster. He truly was a man possessed.

He watched each emotion alter your face with every stroke of his fingers. Knuckles deep made your eyelashes flutter like wings.

Letting his thumb rub your clit with every retreat had your back arching beautifully. When he rubbed against your favorite spot thus earning a high-pitched yelp, he grinned and kissed anywhere he could. You’d have hickies all over, he didn’t care.

Gods, you were stunning. This is what he missed all those nights.

You in the throes of passion under him. Over him. It did not matter. His cock twitched in his pants the louder you moaned out your pleasure. You were close and he couldn’t wait to see you unravel.

Would you notice him grinding into the counter? Probably not with how your thighs were shaking.

You were clinging onto Joker’s shoulders, crying out for him and he heard every single word spill from your lips.

Your eyes found Joker’s the moment the white-hot coil in your belly snapped. He was right there to watch you come undone. And what a sight you were.

His moans echoed yours as you rode out your high. J didn’t stop the fast thrusts of his fingers in your cunt not even when you whimpered ‘too much,’ he just shook his head.

No, you deserved all his love, why run from it? If he could go weeks bottling up his desire then you could handle the tsunami wave of it crashing down on you. It only seemed fair in his twisted mind.

You did not know when Joker stopped fingering you. One minute your cunt was teetering on the edge of another orgasm, the next Joker was kissing you senseless.

Attempts at your name mixed in with his subby whines caught you off guard but nothing compared to hearing Joker’s still wet hand stroking his cock.

Your eyes shot open at the lewd sound. He had no shame. Joker stood before you jerking himself off with precum splattering on the tile kitchen floor.

Why did he look thicker, heavier, and you bit your lip catching a fleeing glimpse of his angry red head before it disappeared in his fist.

Yeah, J looked in pain alright. If he didn’t have you soon, he just might combust. His entire frame shook with the restraint he held. It sent a tingle of fear down your spine. You might not walk after this..

How long had it been since you and J had sex again? Your mind drew a blank.

And not like it mattered; Joker was tired of waiting. He rested his forehead against yours with a choppy sigh. “Mm, I need it. I need you. I’m sorry Mommy, I ahhh…”

Your mouth fell open in a silent scream as Joker bottomed out inside your pussy with one powerful thrust. Home at last. Why did he ever leave? Why did he wait so long?

He let out a guttural groan as he set his hands on the counter near your hips. “Yessss f-finally f__k yes! Oh, thank you Mommy. Thank you. Fuuu—”

Joker proceeded to pound into you and all logical thought was lost to time. Only his babbles of thank yous and sloppy kisses to your skin were deemed relevant.

Pieces of chopped vegetables and other ingredients clung to your back but none of that clicked inside your scrambled brain.

Your current thoughts were surrounded on breathing and not blacking out. Was Joker always this feral or did it have to do with the time apart? He was a completely different person plowing into your cunt, spaced out, and drooling onto your skin. If you got the chance, you would wager his eyes blown out by lust with no green therein.

It was hot to be desired to such a degree. To be thanked for spreading your legs while at the same time, being reduced to mere a fleshlight.

Nothing else mattered except the hard wet slap of Joker’s hips meeting your own.

He had a bruising grip on your waist to help guide you forward onto his invading length. You could feel every vein on Joker’s dick dragging against your walls, over and over without remorse, until another orgasm bubbled up to the surface. He had no plans of stopping but black dots were filling your vision.

“J....” you said with a shaky breath.

Your hands sought him out, requesting anything to help ground you to earth. You found hope clinging to Joker’s wrists although that triggered something in him.

Perhaps it was already there lying dormant, nevertheless, he yanked you up from the counter and into his arms. Once J knew you secure, he kissed your cheek and began bouncing you on his cock.

The new angle was deeper with the same brutal pace as before. It snatched a wanton moan right from your throat that Joker responded to with a sweet coo.

“Ooh, you like that Mommy? This big.. fat d-dick deep n’ hard in my pretty girl’s guts? Yea? Well it’s allllll for you, no one else. I always wanna be in ya Mommy.” He grunted when he slammed you down a bit harder than expected. “F__k, you’re sooo tight!!”

You clawed at his arms the same time J grimaced from your pussy squeezing him to death. He happened to be a certified masochist but this was the best pain he ever experienced.

That and the longest blue balls you subjected him to. He could not wait to empty inside you.

Which reminded him; that this was all your fault.

“Whydda make me wait huh? Ya g-got me.. ngh, goin’ crazy for this pussy. H-Hallucinating and s__t! Ya makin’ me crazier n’ I love ittttt!”

He bounced you harder on his cock during his mindless babbles and you almost missed what he said.

Make him wait? What nonsense was Joker on about? You lifted your head from J’s neck and eyed him sideways. Not once did he come to you this past month!

You thought he was too busy with all his crime and whatever he did at night to be bothered.

His accusations made you mad and before you knew it, your hands were wrapping around Joker’s throat.

You wanted him to just shut up and keep f__king you, however you weren’t expecting a dazed smile to bloom across J’s face nor hear the feminine moan that escaped him. He was ruined beyond measure.

Oh. Now that was unexpected.

“H-Harder.” He begged. Joker. Begged. The idea was unheard of. You blinked in shock but did as you were asked albeit hesitantly.

You used both hands to squeeze his airway. Joker made noises you’ve never heard before (all them sending liquid fire to your clit) as he picked back up his erratic thrusts into your cunt. He liked this?

His hazy smile confirmed it.

Without warning, J fell back onto the fridge, taking you with him. It was jarring at first, but his grip on you never faltered. In fact, he never missed a beat ramming into your sopping wet hole.

Apparently, J wasn’t the only one enjoying the newly discovered choking kink.

“Harder, baby. I-I can t-take it!” You were wary, Joker could tell, so he snapped his hips up to hit your g spot with a disturbing accuracy. It only took a few hits for you to crumble.

You cried out as your orgasm took you by surprise. Joker didn’t know which was tighter. Your hand around his neck or your pussy on his dick; either way, what bliss.

He just closed his eyes and flooded your cunt.

He felt each spurt of cum with the lack of oxygen making him hypersensitive. He had so much to give, he could feel it spilling out of you and down to his balls.

He didn’t want to leave your warmth; it felt too good. A perfect finale for weeks of denial.

Despite the room spinning, Joker was ever mindful of you in his arms as he slid further down the fridge and ultimately to the floor. The cold tiles were a shock to his sweaty skin and he rightfully shielded you from it with his body.

The two of you breathed in the hot, balmy air as time caught up to reality.

You were still seated on J’s cock, playing with the ends of his hair. You couldn’t get up even if your life depended on it.

You didn’t want to be the first to speak but J wasn’t planning on it. He was still on cloud nine, only allowing his thumb to rub mindlessly on your lower back.

Last time Joker did not want to acknowledge his unusual behavior so you had to walk on eggshells just in case he would have the same mentality today.

“Um, J? Are you okay?” You glanced at his neck which was already turning red, “I hope I didn’t squeeze too hard.”

His Light; always so sweet and pure. Joker smiled at your worrisomeness. You did choke him harder than he’d anticipated but he didn’t want you freaking out and not consider doing it again.

Again. He was already thinking about a repeat performance. He was truly messed up in the head. Joker shook his head and fussed over you.

His voice is hoarse when he finally replied. “I’m fine, Bun. That was…”

He shifted as if highlighting exactly what the two of you just did.

You blushed feeling the sticky mess pooling in between you and Joker’s legs. You grimaced at the thought of cleaning up later. Right now, you just sighed in relief. Sex with Joker was always an adventure.

Today however…

The elephant was still lingering in the room. “I thought you didn’t like being.. you know.” You bit your lip, looking away.

Joker tapped it lightly to make you stop. All his previous actions and statements done in the heat of the moment rushed back to him and oddly enough, he wasn’t embarrassed like last time.

He still didn’t know what to make of it these developments.. but you deserved an answer as his partner.

“I uh don’T? I just get so ahh, des-per-ate? Needy? Hm. I’m obsessed what can I say? Its errr.. your fault, for leaving me high n’ dry. Don’t. Do. It. Again.” He growled as he pinched your cheek.

Good to know he was back to his normal self. And in record time too.

You rubbed the sting away with a pout. You missed his submissiveness already. “Maybe Mommy should deny her pretty boy again. I kinda like you all pussy drunk and needy. Would you like that baby” you teased.

Joker’s cheeks flushed red, “Yes I.. ah ahem! Pft. Whatever ya want Bun.” He looked away, hoping you didn’t hear the first half of his sentence.

Unfortunately, you did. “Just admit you like it, J. There’s nothing wrong with a mommy kink.”

“I. Do. Not. Have. A..” you cut him off with a firm hand around his throat. His pathetic moan and the throb from his dick stirring up inside you was all the proof you needed.

You cooed and kissed his nose. “Aww, its okay J baby. Mommy knows the truth now and I’m gonna have, so much fun with you.”

[ozwriterchick]

Back to Us - Chapter 8

Summary: Y/n wakes after an accident to her Avengers team-mates. But something isn't quite right and only Steve and Tony can see it.

Characters/Relationships: Steve Rogers x Reader; Tony Stark; Natasha Romanoff; Other Avengers Characters

Content warnings: Mentions of an accident (no details yet); If I missed any, let me know

A/N: If you want to be tagged, let me know.

Not beta'd so any mistakes are my own. I don't write smut, but there are allusions to smut in my stories.

Back to Us Masterlist

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Word count: 1201 (approx.)

GIF by dazedandkaitfused

Another month passes by with the Avengers going on more missions.  Some with you, some without you.

Steve walked into the lab to talk to Bruce and was surprised to see you there.

“Y/n” he exclaimed. “It’s good to see you, does this mean you have your full memory back?”

“Sorry to disappoint you, or maybe not, but I’m no further along in my memory recall than I was at the Romania mission.  I decided to come back to see if Bruce can help with the Flashback program he created.”

“Sure” Bruce responded.  “It’s still experimental so I can’t guarantee anything, but we can try for sure”

Bucky walked into the lab at that moment.  “Hey Y/n, what’s shaking.”

“Hey Buck, I’ve missed you” you say to him with a huge smile. “Fancy going drinking tonight?”

Steve frowns at the 2 of you.  “Oh can it Captain.  Why don’t you go back to your fiancé, or did she find out about you and dump your sorry ass already?”

Steve walked out of the room, shaking his head and headed to the gym to vent some frustration on the poor punching bags.  Tony was sure he’d be forking out for some new ones in the not too distant future.

Bucky looked at you. “That was a bit harsh Sweets.”

“No lectures Barnes” you said.  “Just drinking, before I start this flashback program with Bruce tomorrow.”

Later that night, Bucky takes you to the local bar on his bike.  You love the freeing feeling of the wind in your face, your arms wrapped around Bucky’s abs, even though there was no romantic spark between you.  A few of the others joined in on the party, happy to have you back and wanting to celebrate.

“Cap not joining us?” you question nobody in particular. “Typical..”

“Sweets.  Harsh” Bucky reiterated his comment from earlier.

“I don’t get why you’re jumping to his defence so much, Buck.  I mean I know he’s your friend and all, but you know what he did.”

“All I’m saying is there is more to the story than you know Y/n.  So just be careful what you say without all the facts.  You wouldn’t want to say something that you can’t take back.”

You blow him a raspberry. “Whatever, come dance with me Barnes.”

You and Bucky are having fun on the dance floor, dancing and singing along to the songs when Steve walks in.

“Hey Steve, How’s Noah?” Nat enquires of him.

“He’s doing as well as can be expected, missing Y/n of course.  He’s with Pepper, so I know he’s safe but I wish things were back to normal already.  What’s going on there” he asks, pointing to Bucky and Y/n.

“Nothing serious, she’s just blowing off some steam” Nat tells him.  “You know Buck would never.”

“I’m done with this” Steve declares.  “If things don’t move along with this flashback program Bruce is going to try, I’m either just going to tell her, or I’m leaving and moving on with mine and Noah’s lives.”

“Well that’s a bit dramatic, but whatever you think is fair Cap.” Nat replied.

NEXT DAY IN THE LAB

You’re laying on a bed, all wired up and ready to go.  Bruce starts the program, which basically sends you to sleep, allowing you to access memories that your brain is subconsciously stopping you from remembering.

You see more missions and they all make sense.  Some are successful, some not so much.

You wake, realising you’ve been “under” for about 3 hours.

“How was that kid?” Tony asked genuinely curious as this was the first time they’d put Bruce’s theories to a physical test.

“Meh, I saw a heap of missions, some went well, some didn’t.  Nothing earth-shattering.  Is that all my life has been the last 4 years?” you asked sounding a little disheartened with the fact that there’d been nothing other than the missions coming through.

Your brain was struggling to reconcile that you’d had no significant relationships or even good hook-ups to remember this whole time.

Tony looked apprehensive, in truth, he was weighing up in his mind how much to tell you. “Well, no it isn’t, but you got a heap of memories back today, so we should try again tomorrow, see what more comes back.”

“Ok. Yeah, I am super tired after that so I think I’m going to go rest for a while.  I’ll see you for dinner later tonight” you responded.

You get back to your room, turn on the shower and jump in.  You always felt soothed in your muscles and soul when you’re under the running water.

You’re glad to be getting your memories back but you still feel like there’s so much missing. 

You’re startled as you hear a cough at the bathroom door, turning to see Steve standing there, leaning against the door frame.

“Rogers, you can’t be in here, we are not picking up where we were when I left.  You shouldn’t see me like this.”

“I’m sure I’ve seen it all before, but ok, I’ll wait in here for you.”  He said, moving into the bedroom.

You yell after him “No, you’ll leave, I’m not doing this with you Rogers.  Seriously, have some respect for me if you don’t have any for anyone else, even yourself.”

You take your time, going through your skincare routine and a few other things that were unnecessary.  If he is waiting in the bedroom for you, you’re going to make him sweat, or get fed up and leave.

You wrap your hair and put a towel around your body and saunter into the bedroom.

You see that Steve is lying on the bed, eyes closed.  Thankful that he seems to be asleep, you start getting dressed. 

“Well, isn’t that a great view to open your eyes to”

You shriek and grab the towel covering yourself.  “Geez Rogers, you about gave me a heart attack.  I thought I told you to leave.”

“Sweetheart, I just want to talk to you.  That’s all I’ve wanted this whole time.”

“Don’t call me sweetheart, Captain.  Save that for your fiancé, if she’ll even talk to you after I work out who she is and let her know what you’ve been doing.”

“Dammit Y/n, just give me a chance.  Sometimes things have simple explanations.”

“Listen Steve, I’ve already told you, no explanation can fix the fact that you cheated on your fiancé with me, when I had no idea.  You took advantage of my lack of memory for your own gain.  One day I might forgive you but I don’t think I can ever forget it.  I just hope you’ve come clean with her.”

Steve sighed “Honestly, I haven’t, I keep trying, but each time she shuts me down.”

Steve gets up off the bed, kisses you on the forehead and says “Just know that when you’re ready for the truth, I’ll be here” and with that, he leaves the room.

You thought you’d got him out of your system but that kiss left you a bit flustered.  You sat there for a while wondering what he meant and what truth he could possible tell you that would change anything.

Tag List: @wolfbeanpotion @vioplay19 @jason-todd-fangirl-14 @crazyunsexycool @zaraomarrogers @bitchy-bi-trash @mrsnikstan @harrysnovia

[kameyyy]

PASSION; atsumu miya x reader

subject: i don't fucking know

cw: 17+ to read, not proof read, cursing, mention of a deceased grandparent [please refer to the general tags/warnings on the m.list !]

a/n: the emails yn writes like i mentioned in chapter 1 !! pretty short but it's not supposed to be poetic since yn is just expressing her feelings here.

wc: 336

from: yn073ln279@gmail.com

to: gmn.ln1943@yahoo.com

subject: i don’t fucking know

hi grandma. 

atsumu showed up at my work. after years of nothing, he just walked in on a random day and tried talking to me like it was no big deal. like what happened between us was no big deal. he apologized for what he did, but it was obvious he didn’t mean it. he would’ve reached out sooner if he was sorry. like maybe 3 years ago. but he didn’t, so seeing me only reminded him of my existence. fuck him. ruining my life and then forgetting about me. lol i hate him so much. i don't even know why he bothered apologizing — just to ease his own guilt, i guess. though, he thinks what he did wasn’t completely wrong. pissed me off more than anything. how can you be this deluded. if what he did was good, then i wouldn’t work at a rug shop and do my masters like yukie. but no, i started college a year ago and i’m falling behind.

i’ll find out about my exams soon. i don’t even know how to feel about it. i hope they went well. my major isn’t something i love; it’s just what felt tolerable when i chose it. nothing really interests me. there’s nothing i’m passionate about, nothing that feels worth chasing or devoting the rest of my life to. it’s exhausting seeing everyone else, especially atsumu, seem to have it all figured out. it’s so easy for them. so clear. and i just feel stuck and lost for years already. like i’m on autopilot while everyone else is actually living. i don’t know what i did wrong. what i’m doing wrong. i don’t know. i just want to enjoy life like everyone around me is.

that’s it, i guess.

hope life in heaven is treating you well. or this black abyss. i don’t know what comes after death. i don’t even want to think about it. bye.

- yn

please consider leaving a like, reblog or follow if you enjoyed <3

masterlist ; playlist ; pinterest board

taglist, open (comment here or send an ask);

throne of honor: @solzscribblez @wyrcan @heartmaddie @causenessus @hyunteru

@angeleilee @kawoala @vertejay @vitoshi @kang-ulzzang @hanadulsetaad @nobodybutnnoorr @pookalicious-hq @gigiiiiislife @fridaenpina @sahrii @sakusasbadger @evilari111 @laceythespacey @cookielovesbook-akie @dearru @matchacharm

©kameyyy all rights reserved. please do not repost my work.

[puzzleglum]

THEORY TIME AGAIN!! The other day, I had a realization. About how Hyde could possibly rescue Jekyll, without also getting stuck in the depths of their mind. And, it connects to Hyde’s pounding heart, and Lanyon’s confessions to Hyde. Remember this golden ribbon, around Hyde’s wrist on the Chapter 16 cover? (The same cover where Hyde was depicted in his mindscape outfit. Take note!)

I’ve theorized before that it’s a lifeline. Similar to Ariadne’s golden thread from the Greek myth, this ribbon could be a way for Hyde and Jekyll to escape the labyrinth that is the bottom of their mind. A lifeline that allows them to find their way back up again, to the waking world of existence. A tether to reality, if you will. The mindscape and its rules are a bit tricky, but one thing is for sure: the literal rules of normal reality don’t apply. The whole space is basically a big metaphor for their shared unconscious mind. There’s a kind of dream logic to how it functions.

So why shouldn’t the lifeline be metaphorical, too?

Before, I’d thought that maybe the Mort potion—or some other scientific solution—could be used for this, as the origin of the lifeline. A temporary ‘sleeping death’ that would allow Hyde to reach Jekyll, and get out again when the potion wears off. But now, I think I got a better idea. Something far less literal and dryly mechanistic.

First: remember how the last time Jekyll’s heart was pounding—with lots of prominent sound effects, that is—he passed out on stage? Hyde had been poisoning their mind with despair, wanting to take Jekyll down with him.

(It’s worth mentioning that Lanyon was at Jekyll’s side when he woke up again, too. He never left him alone.) I believe Hyde might be about to pass out, too. But for entirely different reasons than Jekyll did previously. Hyde feels all of his feelings very intensely. The similar BA BUM heartbeat sound effects show us just how much Lanyon’s words, and gentle touches, are affecting him.

To be extra clear on my part: secretly, Hyde HAS always wanted to be loved, even if he’d never openly admit it, even to himself. But deep down, he believed it was impossible anyway. Who in their right mind would love an Evil Monster like him? Lanyon would. Because he can see that Hyde was never just “pure evil.” Hyde is simply…a part of Henry. The Doe-Eyed Sweetheart that Lanyon first fell in love with, before falling in love with the rest of Henry, too. This is exactly what Hyde and Lanyon’s character arcs needed. This moment is a beautiful payoff that was a LONG time coming. But I’m not here to talk about all the things that set this up. Might do that later. But my point is…this is it!

Lanyon’s unconditional love is the lifeline.

Let me elaborate. I think Hyde is about to pass out from the overwhelming feeling of knowing that Lanyon REALLY, TRULY loves him. (Perhaps with a kiss or similar to top it off.) And when he comes to, he’ll be in the mind, with that golden ribbon on his wrist. Ready to hunt for Jekyll and bring him back. The intuitive logic I’m seeing here is something like this: That reciprocated love, and Hyde’s desire to return to reality and be reunited with Lanyon soon, is what provides a metaphorical and emotional tether to the real world. Because that emotion would be SO strong that it would bend the rules of their mindscape, allowing Jekyll and Hyde to come back. In other words…Lanyon is Hyde’s Ariadne. The giver of the golden ribbon to guide him through the labyrinth, and safely return when he needs to. :)

And that’s my theory! Thanks for reading, and leave any thoughts in the replies, if you wish!

(I’d love to know if people think this is plausible, or not! To be honest, I’m not entirely sure of this myself. But since the possibility occurred to me, well…there’s no problem with writing it down, anyway! You never know.)

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  @midsummer-semantics! QueenOfSwords1312 has posted 51 fics to AO3 in the Stranger Things fandom and 50 of them are in the Steddie tag!

@tedewitt recommends the following works by @midsummer-semantics:

A Kind of Merry War

Free-Use Health Care

Dia de los Muertos

The Fool, The World, and Everything in Between

Don't threaten me with a good time

"Jordan is an incredible writer first and foremost. They have a passion for writing that you don’t see every often. Their fics transport you into the world they’ve built and breathe new life into familiar characters." -- @tedewitt

Below the cut, @midsummer-semantics answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

I’ve somehow managed to make these guys my entire personality since they very very briefly interacted two years ago. Weirdly enough, I wasn’t even a huge fan of Steve until s4 (blasphemy, I know), but the Steddie brainrot took hold immediately and I feel like they’re genuinely such adaptable characters that putting them in a million different situations and seeing how they’d interact is one of the best parts.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Getting together, hands down. I will read them getting together in the same way a million times and never get tired of it, but everyone writes such interesting ways that it’s always good every single time.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Didn’t know they were dating. The small acts of domesticity that leads them to the realization they’ve basically been together without the kissing (and other things) all along it so fun and funny to me. Especially if it’s what leads to Steve’s sexual awakening.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

“Come what may (i will love you until my dying day)” by emurph_24. It changed my life in so many amazing ways and I credit that fic as the reason why I got into the fandom space itself and not just writing my little fics for funsies. Plus, the author is my wife now.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

Eventually I’d love to write a proper Getting Back Together fic, but I hate making them fight and break up so it’s going to take some mental and emotional gymnastics in order to do that first before the good thing happens.

What is your writing process like?

It varies. Either I start with a proper detailed outline, every major plot point I want to hit laid out with a checklist and I go through each part until I’ve hit them all. Or I have one single idea or inspirational quote/event/story I heard somewhere in mind and I just insert Steddie into it instead. The first one takes me weeks to get through. The second I usually end up writing 10k in a day. Either way, I talk through pretty much everything with Tara (TEDewitt) and Erin (emurph_24) before and during the writing, and they’re the best hype-people and betas anyone could ask for.

Do you have any writing quirks?

I almost always start fics with the name of the person whose point of view will be used within the first sentence. “Eddie Munson is a fool.” “They’ve been dancing around each other for months and it’s driving Eddie up the wall.” “Steve knows he and Eddie are close.” I’m not sure why I do that, but I think it just makes it easier on my brain to know right away whose brain I’m using. I also hope it makes things clearer for people who read my stuff.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

I tend to post when I finish writing (once Tara and Erin have had a chance to look through it), but I’d never published an entire fic chapter by chapter once it’s entirely written. I usually post chapters as I finish them, which makes me pretty bad about irregular updates (Sorry!). But I’ve been part of a few events now that have posting schedules and those have been WORLDS better about keeping me on track for things.

Which fic are you most proud of?

It’s a toss-up between “The Fool, The World, and Everything in Between,” “Free-Use Healthcare,” and “A Kind of Merry War.” The first is my longest fic and what I feel is the first real deep-dive into the characters, and it’s my baby. The second just did really really well and I’m still a little in shock by it. And the third was not only fun but everything I like to see in Shakespeare adaptations so it was a successful adaptation in my book.

How did you get the idea for Don't threaten me with a good time?

We all know the phrase “write what you know” and I’ve, frankly, lived a really weird life. So the story is literally just a Steddified version of a celebrity run-in I had on my birthday a few years back.

When writing The Fool, The World, and Everything in Between, what was something you didn’t expect?

I didn’t expect it to be as long as it is lol I mean, I knew it was going to be 22 chapters, but I didn’t really know going in how long those chapters would be.

What inspired The Fool, The World, and Everything in Between?

The major arcana, and my desire to write a fix-it of volume 2. I just really think Eddie deserved to live and the major arcana do tell “the fool’s story” so it was a great way to make that happen.

What was your favorite part to write from Dia de los Muertos?

The first kiss. Well, the entire thing was fun to write, but again, I’m a sucker for those boys getting together, and Eddie’s little panic attack when he surprise-kisses Steve the first time because he just can’t help it was so fun.

How do/did you feel writing Free-Use Health Care?

Like a horny goblin took over my brain and was controlling me Ratatouille-style until suddenly there was 10k words in less than 24 hours. It wasn’t even supposed to be two parts, it was only going to be one with an open ending, but I literally couldn’t stop thinking about a part 2 as I was writing part 1 so here we are.

What was the most difficult part of writing A Kind of Merry War?

Textual interpretation. I’m really familiar with Much Ado About Nothing from years of working with it, but trying to make the actual lines from the play that are featured in the fic make sense in a way that is easily understandable to non-Shakespeare fans without derailing the pacing or taking people out of the story was an insane balancing act. I like to think I nailed it, though.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

In “Where lovers used to live (But they’ve been gone for quite some time)”, Steve finally gets to have the post-Eddie breakdown he deserves, but interwoven in that breakdown is repeated flooding of memories of how they got together before Eddie died. My favorite is when they’re getting a small moment in the RV just the two of them and Eddie is reading the Silmarillion to Steve, and Steve makes Eddie promise that when they survive the battle, they’ll run away together. Broke my own heart writing it, but god it was good.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I always have something up my sleeve, but the current and most exciting is the Eddie Munson Big Bang. I’m working with helpimstuckposting on an omegaverse Practical Magic AU called “Pressure in Increments,” coming very soon!

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

I’ve really met some of the coolest people in the world through this fandom and I think their friendship has really helped this not die for me even when there’s times it gets overwhelming or I feel like I’m losing momentum to write. I know that no matter what else is going on, I have the boys and my friends in my corner, and that’s the best part of it all.

Thank you to our author, @midsummer-semantics and our nominator, @tedewitt! See more of QueenOfSwords1312's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[aspentreeonahill]

I don’t think people understand how much i LOVE Merleon

(Below this cut is a whole bunch of stupid ranting that doesn’t make sense written instead of me sleeping…)

LIKE THEYRE SOJSBWEJHWWKBWS

THEYRE SO UNDERATED IT HURTS ME BECAUSE WHY DO I HAVE TO SCAVENGE LIKE A RAT LOOKING FOR FOOD TO FIND CONTENT FOR THEM.

LIKE TWO IMMORTALS WHO LOST EVERYONE AND LITERALLY ONLY HAVE EACHOTHER???

(Yes i know Leon being immortal isn’t necessarily canon but there’s so much reasonings for it IN THE SHOW and such a popular headcanon that’s it’s basically canon at this point)

ALSO THERE TWO OF ARTHURS MOST TRUSTED FRIENDS AND I LOVE WHEN ARTHUR GETS ANNOYED THAT MERLIN IS DATING ONE OF HIS OTHER FRIENDS IN FICS

(KINGS HEAD KNIGHT X KINGS SERVANT/ADVISOR FRIEND IS SUCH A CUTE TROPE)

(OR JUST KNIGHT X SERVANT IN GENERAL)

ITS ALSO ANGSTY IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT

MERLIN WAS THE ONE WHO FREED THE DRAGON AND LEON HAD TO GO OUT AND FIGHT THE DRAGON AND WOULD HAVE INJURIES AND TRAUMA FROM IT

LIKE IMAGINE LEONS REACTION TO FINDING OUT MERLINS THE ONE WHO FREED IT (even better if it’s after they start dating)

(Which may or may not be a future plot line in my Merleon fic…)

THEY MAKE ME SICK.

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MOTIVATION IT TAKES ME TO NOT ONLY DRAW A SHIP BUT ALSO WRITE ABOUT IT???

A LOT.

AND I DID BOTH.

(Also please go check out my Merleon fic I’m current writing…)

THE UPDATES ARE REALLY SLOW BUT IM CURRENTLY WRITING CHAPTER TWO

I ALSO HAVE SOME MERLEON FANART IVE POSTED ON HERE

[chaosduckies]

Restoration (Chapter 4)

I am absolutely brain dead. Anyways, a little bit of lore on Ryker because I’ve barely given any on him, andddd Lucky is back!

Word Count: 4,100

CW: Fear, Panic attacks, Anxiety, (I think that’s all for this one)

4-Nathan 

After yesterday I couldn’t help but feel bad for Ryker. He didn’t lie about staying after class and talking with Mrs. Kay. He stayed behind and talked as I rushed my way back home. I had no idea what they talked about, or what we were going to do. Not that I had a decision in the matter. 

If Ryker hadn’t caught on that I was terrified of him after yesterdays display, then I don’t know how he’ll figure it out. Just being with him for half a day and I almost immediately curled up on my bed and cried myself to sleep. I couldn’t help that I was scared. I was broken in all the wrong places and whatever pieces that were missing weren’t going to be found anytime soon. It’s just, that I kind of wish I’d be able to apologize for the way I had acted to him yesterday. 

Guilt built up inside me the longer I thought about it on my way to school. My mom had asked me the night before how everything went, and I just told her it was okay. It most definitely was not. I felt scared, anxious, and nervous all at the same time. My stomach twisted at this horrible idea I had in my head. I hadn’t even made it to the front doors of my school before my knees nearly buckled underneath me. 

A few shaky breaths and I forced myself through the hundred of students. My heart pounding in my chest, the way all the voices around me were muffled, the way I felt dizzy. This was a horrible idea. Even my own body knew that. 

I made it to the classroom, mindful to keep closer to the wall so I’m not stepped on as people moved around trying to get their newly-made friends. The mini-office was closed today, meaning that Ryker would be somewhere in this classroom, and it wasn’t hard to spot the same black hoodie in the back of the classroom. 

He was on his phone, looking like he was texting someone. Not my business. What was my business was how I was going to apologize to him. I owe him so much. This was my bad idea. Mainly for me at least. I probably won’t be able to get the words out. Or I might stutter every second and he’d be confused. Heck, I might talk but it’s be quiet and I’d have to repeat it all to him. I only really had once chance before my body shuts down on me and he’d see yet another pathetic display come from me. 

I made my way there, noticing the slight uneasiness on his face. He was still texting. Good news for me then. He won’t have to see me struggle to walk even closer than I’ve ever willingly done before. 

Today, the elevator up was the longest trip I’ve made yet. Everything felt slowed once again, but this time a rising anxiousness built up inside. What would he think of me afterwards? Would he think I was the small, puny, bug he probably thinks I am? What was I doing? This was a bad idea. 

As soon as I heard a ding, I took a deep breath, hoping he was still texting away on his phone. It took me a while to convince my body to move, but I managed it. My mind pictured the same torturers in front of me. Smiling with a wide grin as I limped over as they had intersected me to. I’m not there anymore. I had to remind myself before peaking out and nearly letting out a squeak when I realized his attention was all on me now. Even if he still had his phone out, his gaze was on me. 

I retreated back into the safety of the elevator, hearing him finishing whatever he was typing and shove his phone back in his pocket. Suddenly everything was so loud to me. Was that normal? I don’t think so. My mind was racing and my heart was beating so fast it might just rip right out of my chest. Was it out of fear? 

Even though I know Ryker saw me, he never said anything. Nothing at all. Great. Something else to apologize about. I knew this was a bad idea from the start. If I hadn’t came up with this dumb plan, then maybe I would of had an easier time getting out, but now that I know he’ll be giving me his full attention, all confidence was sucked dry out of me. 

I kept Ryker waited for what felt like hours for me. But the bell still hadn’t rang. Nearly five minutes had passed. He was oddly patient. Or maybe just another trick to make me blindly fall into another cage. Tears stung my eyes, but I wiped them away before they could fall. Just do it. Nothing could be worse than being kidnapped and tortured. So, whatever Ryker was going to do to me eventually, he might as well do it now. 

Even though my body screamed at me to press the down button on the elevator and get the heck out of here, I stayed put. I wasn’t just going to make Ryker deal with my insolence and not apologize for the way I act. I’m pretty I’m the cause of all his stress lately. Just another thing to feel guilty about. 

I took my first steps out for what seemed like the first day all over again. Ryker was tapping on the desk rhythmically, one hand holding his head up. It sounded like a familiar song, but I didn’t focus on that. I focused on taking my extremely shaky steps towards him. It wasn’t long before he caught sight of me, sitting up and keeping his hands on the desk. I was not counting on that, but I’ll just deal with it. 

I hate how hard it was just for me to say “I’m sorry.” All the fear in my body was taking control and telling me to head back, but I just had to force myself to stay. The closer I was, the more my heart seemed to skip a beat. The more my breaths became more frequent. A panic attack now was the worst time. 

Once I was as close as my body would allow, I took time to calm myself down so my words didn’t come out slurred or stuttered as much. Yup. All this just so the guilt would go away. It would be worth it in the end. 

My head wouldn’t look up to see his reaction, so I just had to guess that he was just as shocked as I was. I opened my mouth to speak, but no noise came out. Great. I knew this would happen. My voice never fails to stop working when I really needed it. Just great. 

I heard moving, which made my head pick up instinctively, seeing that Ryker was standing up, a sorry look on his face. Wait no… Did I do something wrong? Why wasn’t he talking? Was it because I was taking too long? Did he finally grow tired of me? No. Nononono. That’s not what I wanted. Why can’t I do anything right? 

He placed his hand on the edge of the desk again, the same look on his face. I did do something wrong, didn’t I? The realization hit me like a cannonball. Whatever I did, he obviously hated me for it. Even more guilt gets piled up on top of me. How do I manage to mess everything up when we’ve only really “hung out” for one day? 

I opened my mouth to try again, but nothing comes out. Why does life hate me so much? I just wanted to say I was sorry for everything I’ve done and way I act. Heck, I was even going to apologize for the incident at lunch the other day. He shouldn’t of had to save me. 

My body was acting on it’s own, taking a step back as my body trembled and I hung my head down in defeat. I knew this was a bad idea. 

Ryker’s hand moved to the side as he sat back down, his hand too close for comfort but I brought it upon myself for being this close. My entire body felt like crawling under my blankets and crying myself to sleep. Life really did hate me. I just wanted to talk… Even if it meant I couldn’t keep the conversation going. At least apologize. That was my only goal for the day. That long with surviving anyways. 

“Are you all right, Nathan? You don’t look too good…” He had asked me. And I made the mistake of shaking my head in all honesty. 

———Ryker———

My heart fell. I’ve never seen someone so afraid and shaky before. Never. 

What was I supposed to do? Nathan’s never talked to before. I know nothing about him. He could say the same about me, but still. It’s just that I didn’t know what he was so afraid of. I don’t want to force him to do anything, and the only real way I know how to calm a person down is to hug or give them what they need. I live with five siblings I have to take care of, they feel comfortable around me so I know what calms them down and what doesn’t. 

Nathan is comfortable around me. 

I didn’t know his boundaries, I didn’t know why he seemed like he wanted to do something but couldn’t, and I really didn’t know how to calm him down. Hands weren’t even an option since I’ve noticed he jumps and scoots away every time I was getting something from my bag yesterday. I’ve noticed that he moves away from me when he thinks he’s in my way. And I’ve most definitely  noticed that he never does anything unless he knows for sure it was okay to do. Looking for validation before doing anything. 

Looking around the room, there were still a lot of people trying to get around before the first bell. Not that I cared though. I was more worried about what to do. I knew absolutely nothing about him. Only that we were both seniors. 

Nathan stole a quick glance up at me, hanging his head down almost immediately. But I swear I see him trying to speak. Was that what he was trying to do? Was he self conscious about his voice or something? Or was it just that I was making him nervous? Most likely the second since every time he does try to speak my attention is always on him. Was that why he was scared? He didn’t like attention? I didn’t know. 

He picks his head up again, but I made the mistake of looking down once again and seeing his mouth forming words but nothing coming out. He covers his mouth and ducks his head again. That was it. He doesn’t want me to watch him say whatever he was about to say. Social anxiety? 

Still, I can tell he’s trembling like crazy and he’s not even in my hand yet. I noticed that yesterday too. Just what happened to him? 

I tried making up ways in my head how he would be able to talk without me paying attention, but nothing came to mind. If anything, I just really wanted to hear what he was trying to say to me. I don’t even care if it’s something rude towards me. The little guy already has a hard time just being comfortable around me, so I think it’s a step forward if he’s trying to talk. He probably would hate me if I had called him that nickname though. It suits him though. He’s shorter than most humans, and he seems like a really sweet guy. 

“If you’re trying to say something you can take your time. We have all week. I can wait.” I gave a smile in hopes that he wouldn’t dwell on this the entire day. I haven’t mentioned anything about the lunch incident either since I guess he didn’t want to talk about it after he just ran off. Oh. Maybe he felt guilty for running away? 

Shaking my head at the thought, I let out a hand for him to get onto. It worried me that he could never keep his balance when he had only taken one step on, but he had never done it before. It’s expected. Maybe later on I could help him out with that? Then what Mrs. Kay told me yesterday hung in the back of my head. 

“Nathan has trouble being around giants. I’m just using this class to get him used to it. The real world won’t be so kind to him if you don’t do this. Plus, I’m sure you’re the perfect one for the job.” 

What did that mean? How was I the perfect one for the job? Almost everyone in the school avoids me after my parents… never mind. But still, everyone thought I was so mentally unstable that I could be thrown into a psych ward any day now. I didn’t appreciate the statement, but part of that isn't wrong. So how was I supposed to help him? 

Nathan took shaky steps forward, and cautiously climbing into my palm, but still managed to fall over. I would help, but he doesn’t like being touched. He wasn’t lying when he said he didn’t know how to do this. It just  takes some time, and I’m very patient. 

We did the same thing as yesterday. Sat down in class and as placed my journal full of unused notes on the desk, he moves away. I didn’t know if he thought he was in my way, or if he just didn’t like being near anything that he thought would kill him. There was no telling. It wasn’t like I was going to just blindly throw something on my desk without taking into consideration that he might be freaked out by that. Especially since he’s just a little taller than the width of my fingers. 

I remember when I first saw him, my first thought was: He’s really small. And that’s saying something since I have a younger human sister that’s barely turning five this next month. But I also thought that he was really nice. And he is, but it’s not in the way I had imagined. What was he hiding that made him so scared?  

———Nathan———

Stupid. I was so stupid. I completely exposed myself to Ryker, and all he did was say that I could take my time. Why was Ryker so nice? I wasn’t used to that! Coming from a giant too? No. It’s a definite lie. He was somehow patient with me even when I took all the time in the time in the world. Every single time I’m overthinking something or just really torn up, he gives a smile, like he knows what’s going on in my mind. I was so confused. 

The day went by fast, and nearly every class period I tried to talk. Heck, at this point it would be great just to make any kind of noise, even when I know that he’d laugh at me. I think it was 6th period when I managed to get a word out, but he didn’t hear me. As expected. Why was this so hard for me? 

During his seventh period, he set me down by the human sized doors and sat down on the same couch as before, reading the same book as yesterday. The other three people sat at the table playing Uno yet again, laughing their butts off while the librarian was putting away some books.  

I headed through the doors of the human library, seeing that there was an entire freshman class in here. That was surprise. Probably getting books for a project or report or something. Though, I did spot one familiar face as I sat down on the couch in the corner. The one that saved me during lunch the other day. Lucky. 

It was maybe fifteen minutes after their class had all grabbed whatever books they needed and sat down talking. It was loud, but it’s not like it bothered me. I mean, I was supposed to be in calculus right now. I’d much rather prefer this. 

My head was buried in a book when someone had sat next to me. I nearly jumped, but just looked over to see that is was Lucky. Why would he even come over here to me? Wasn’t he supposed to be with his class? Obviously it didn’t stop him from talking to me. Wait. Maybe I could ask about Ryker? They seem to be good friends even though I’ve never seen them talk besides on Monday. 

“You’re…. Nathan? That’s what Ryker called you, right?” He had on a smile and still sat almost an entire head taller than me while sitting down. Makes sense. But it was kind of embarrassing when a freshman was so much more taller that their upperclassmen. It makes me feel even more insecure. 

I replied with a nod, never looking directly at him. I was scared he might say something. Just like a list of my many, many fears. 

“Why’d you run out the other day? Y’know, during lunch?” How did I know he was going to ask that? Someone would have eventually. Just, I didn’t expect it to be brought up so casually. I mean, why did he even care? Did I make him angry by running off? Did I hurt his feelings that I didn’t give an apology or a thank you? I cringed at the thought, but I knew I had to face it. 

“I… Um, I was scared. So I-I’m sorry for r-running, and th-thank so much for g-getting me out of there.” I bit my tongue for stuttering the last bit. At least if he’s angry at me I’ll know that I did thank him at least. That’s one guilt off my chest. Still, I have to tell Ryker, and he’s harder to talk to given that my own body goes against me every time I try to talk or even get the slightest bit closer so he can hear me. Life hated me so much. 

“Anytime,” Lucky had started, “My brother said something about some kind of project with you two? I wasn’t paying attention.” Brother? Where did that come from? I don’t even know who he’s talking about. Was he in my class? Was he one of the people watching as I failed miserably to make some kind of interaction? 

“Brother?” Lucky’s eyes shot wide, then he bursted out laughing. Did I do something wrong? Or embarrassing? And suddenly, I felt dozens of eyes on me. His whole class was looking at us. I gulped, burying my head. This was fine. Just ignore them and they’ll go away, yeah… 

“Well, I’m the adopted one, but Ryker is my older brother.” Lucky explained to me. Oh. What. How does that work? Ryker was a giant, and Lucky was human. It’s not entirely abnormal for a human to be adopted by a giant family, but I never understood how they even live through that. Even if the human manages to escape, they’re legally owned by that family. But besides the point, that made things a million times harder for me. Anything I said to Lucky, he would tell Ryker. Great. 

“So how’s that project going?” Lucky had asked, a chuckle escaping his mouth. I shook my head, groaning. I don’t need to be reminded that I was making things harder for Ryker. It’s not my fault! I guess in a sense it is though. Since my mind obviously can’t forget what happened a nearly a year ago. 

Lucky pulled out his phone, texted someone, the shoved it back in his pocket, “You get used to Ryker after a while. He’s a nice guy.” So everyone’s said. I believe them though. Ryker’s done nothing but be patient with me and try to make some kind of progress on getting me to open up. I’m the problem.

Lucky’s teacher had called everyone to get back to class, letting him know to leave, “Oh hey, you should come over on Friday. I heard that was part of your little… trust exercises?” He smiled and left with his class. What? He knew about that? Did that mean Ryker has talked about me to him? Oh that did not bring me any peace of mind. Not at all. If he has, what has he said? That I was impossible to deal with? I was infuriating? 

And suddenly I wasn’t so confident about this week anymore. 

———Ryker———

Lucky had texted me that he was talking to Nathan. I mean, that offered some kind of relief, but not entirely. Lucky could be… ecstatic at times. Especially when he was meeting new people. Or when he was around Dylan is was five times worse. Luckily, that wasn’t possible so I didn’t dwell on it too much. But, I did plan on inviting Nathan over to my house this Friday or sometime during the weekend. Since Mrs. Kay denied my request to take this off the long list of things I already had to do. Not that I would mind him over. It’s just that he might be a little surprised to see everyone. 

Nathan seemed a little more uneasy after his talk with Lucky, which really worried me. What did Lucky say? Or better yet, what was Nathan thinking? It seemed like the more important question. I’m sure Lucky told Nathan that we were brothers, but I doubt he told them about everyone else. That would have been a lot to go over. Not that he won’t find out eventually. Nathan still hasn’t said what he wanted to say this morning. Whatever it was. I was anxious to hear, but at the same time I knew he was having some problems. 

Last period was the same as yesterday. Just another day to get to know one another better, but I’ve made no progress at all. I’d like to at least know what his favorite color is at this point, but I’m sure he was wondering the same about me. I haven’t told him anything about me either. 

Currently, Nathan was sitting on my desk facing me just like everyone else. Not what he usually does, but that’s fine. Maybe Lucky had actually helped him instead of freaking him out? Maybe. A slight possibility. 

“Everything alright?” I had asked, easing some of my relief. I was actually really worried about him. I’ve never encountered someone so afraid in my entire life, and that was saying something. 

He nodded his head, playing with his hands. Nervous? I could never tell with him. How do I break it to him that Mrs. Kay is making him come over to my house? She knows that it can get a little chaotic and with my newfound knowledge that he has a hard time being around giants, this might not be the best match-up. I’ve noticed that Nathan doesn’t like people acknowledging him or even looking at him. Does it give him anxiety? Probably. Explains why he was struggling to talk to me. It only made me feel even more bad for him.

I guess if I was going to tell him it would be now. He’d have to know anyways, “Hey, um, I asked about you not being able to come over, and she just said that it would be better if you came over anyways. I’m sorry, really.” I saw him cringe back and nod his head sadly. I wondered why he was so uncomfortable with the idea of going over to my house though. Him knowing about my… predicament is something, but he didn’t know. So it was really weird to see him so scared and shaky when Mrs. Kay brought up the idea yesterday. 

“So how does Friday sound? We have a separate human part of the house if you get too overwhelmed and I’ll take you back home anytime? How’s that?” I tried to somewhat calm him down, but for some reason I think it might have the opposite affect on him. Oh good going Ryker. Just great. Give him another reason to be scared. 

To my surprise, he nodded. This could either go horribly wrong, or great. Only one way to find out. 

———————————————

This chapter for some reason was hard to write so I’m sorry if it’s not like the past three chapters. I’m pretty sure I wrote half of this at three in the morning so if it sounds weird that’s three a.m. me. Thank you for reading though! Asks are always open if you have questions about anyone!

[heartfeltletters-written]

“i fear for my life” has officially entered my vocabulary

[elizabethzoopzoop986]

I miss Mei so much you don’t understand :( bring her back AidaIro. Also Yako and Hakubo

I hate how the school mysteries (other than Hanako, Mitsuba and Akane) get there one arc where you really get to know them and care about them and then they just go away forever. GIVE THEM BACK PLS AIDAIRO LET THEM OUT OF THE CLOSET THEYVE DONE NOTHING WRONG

[tennessoui]

girl your hanahaki au is absolutely wrecking my shit i--- I don't ever read ongoing fics and this is why. I just cannot wait?!? But the waiting somehow makes it better too?!? I'm literally dead bro I can't I love it so much

hahah omg thank you !! I’m really happy to hear you took a chance on this wip and that you like it so much!

not to get on my soapbox or anything but you have given me a great corner to shout from

as a disclaimer I totally understand why people will choose not to read wips and I truly think you know your mental health and what you can stand to wonder about/think about/obsess over/NEED to know a conclusion for better than anyone else

BUT as a writer who almost exclusively posts in wips, people reading them before they’re finished is my life blood and I am so grateful and it makes the writing process so much more fun for me because I know at least someone else is invested in my brainworm of a story?? someone else is enjoying it and thinking about it and I’m putting a small amount of good into the world??

the best analogy I’ve been able to come up with is like:

when you read a finished fic you’re eating a whole meal and that’s great that’s so amazing (especially if you tell the cook you liked it after you’re done). and you’re literally always welcome to eat that meal whenever you want. finished fics are like standing dinner invitations: I am always happy to have you and I mean that very genuinely

but if you read a wip, you’re keeping me company in the kitchen while I cook. and that’s sort of priceless. in some instances, you can even tell me the food needs more spice and I’ll think about it and listen!!! you’re sitting on my kitchen counter as I bustle around my space and we’re talking about what I’m doing and also how I’m feeling and maybe how you’re feeling and it just feels like community more than anything else I’ve experienced in any fandom. like you’re with me in my space as I’m creating food I hope you like. we’re both invested and it’s amazing

and I think in general that’s why wips are a lot of fun and also maybe why the waiting between chapters is fun for you - you’ve suggested that I add paprika to the pot and you’re waiting and wondering if I will, and I’m laughing and hoping you like the soup either way but also wondering if paprika will work with the recipe, and if I can add a bit to it just for you while staying true to the dish I envisioned at the get go.

[ssreeder]

A while ago you said you wanted to your update pattern, so here it is lmao.

03/26/22

04/09/22

04/29/22

05/22/22

06/11/22

07/16/22

07/31/22

08/20/22

09/10/22

09/29/22

11/09/22

11/26/22

12/10/22

12/30/22

01/06/23

01/27/23

02/10/23

03/05/23

04/02/23

05/05/23

05/20/23

06/10/23

07/08/23

09/15/23

11/08/23

It starts when I started reading so it’s crazy to look back on how long I’ve been following this fanfiction! I’ve never been this dedicated before lol. Keep up the awesome work!

*casually mentions curiosity about update schedule*

*gets ask with update schedule*

[poetryqueer]

planning document must be going well I just said the words “explaining the endurance of Platonism could be the life I’m living” to myself. Alone. At 2:30am. Because yeah. Could be.

[rouge-fauna]

There is something very wrong with the fact that I’m procrastinating from writing Punz and Techno by writing multiple torture box Quackity and Dream scenes… like given my projection onto Dream, does that mean Quackity represents the chapter with Punz and Techno driving me crazy?…

[letstrywritingmaybe]

Ao3 being down is always so tragic for me, I literally bounce back between two sites, and one is taken from me. Which means I have to work on my WIPs or read my library books (I finished reading the joy luck club today). I really should be trying to figure out something for duncney week but my muse is just not biting. Instead I’m about 3k into an extra chapter for something I wanted to remain a one shot (granted I set it up for more… I just have a hard time keeping fics to a one and done deal I guess)