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once-upon-an-imagine · 2 years

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Unwell - Remus Lupin

A/N: ahhh xD I really hope I did justice to this story since it’s sort of a prequel but it can stand on its own :) I know a lot of you love Bent so I hope this lives up to its match xD also I changed the name, sorry this one seemed to fit better and also I would like to thank ♥️Emily a lovely anon go helped me so much with ideas! I really hope you like it, love! :)

Request - pan-pride-12 asked: Could I request an imagine Maybe Sirius and Regs little sister who is sorted into hufflepuff and that is really shy ends up falling in love with Remus but doesn't say anything because she doesn't think he feels the same(she'd rather have him in her life as friend then nothing at all) and you could go from there but could it have a happy ending please.

Warnings: reader is constantly ill and her brothers take care of her

Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter :) gif isn’t mine :D��

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Unwell

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know, right now you can't tell But stay a while and maybe then you'll see A different side of me

Sirius Black dragged himself into the Great Hall early in the morning with dark, prominent circles under his eyes. He plopped himself down next to his friends and smashed his head against the table. Remus immediately poured a large cup of coffee in front of him.

“Thank you, Moony” he mumbled with his head still buried in his arm.

“What happened to you, Padfoot? Stayed up with that blonde Ravenclaw bird you’ve been talking to?” James smirked at his best friend while Peter laughed.

Sirius slowly lifted up his head and shook his head while he grabbed his coffee. He was too tired to think of a snarky comeback.

“No, my sister was really sick last night” he said, erasing the smiles off James and Peter’s faces. The three Marauders knew very well about the youngest Black’s condition. “She threw up like four times and had a fever of 102” he continued before getting a sip of his coffee. “She didn’t get any sleep so neither did I. Regulus is with her right now” he said, starting to get some food on his plate.

Remus looked up from his Daily Prophet feeling his heart break at the thought of the girl he was in love with being in pain. “I’m sorry, mate” he said, placing his hand on Sirius’ shoulder, not really knowing what else to say.

“It’s all bloody Sprout’s fault anyway!” Sirius ranted. “She’s allergic to like half the plants in the greenhouse, she shouldn’t be forced to be near them!”

“I know mate,” James said. “But at least it’s Saturday so maybe she can get some rest” he suggested.

“Speaking of which, are you still coming to Hogsmeade today?” Peter asked, reaching for seconds.

“For a little bit. Might get her some candy or something so she’ll feel better. As long as Regulus is okay watching her” he said, getting more coffee.

“I can stay with her” Remus blurted out before he could stop himself.

James smirked at the werewolf while Peter looked confused. Sirius turned to look at him with his eyebrow arched up.

“Um… you can stay with her?”

“Well not stay uh- with her” he stuttered. “I just mean, I’m not going to Hogsmeade today so-”

“Really? Why is that, Moony?” James asked, resting his head on his hand, extremely interested in the conversation.

“Well, Prongs” he said between clenched teeth. “Since the full moon is next week I thought I’d stay and get ahead in my schoolwork” he replied. “So, I can stay and keep her company” he said, going back to his breakfast.

“That is mighty kind of you, Moony” James said, earning a glare from the werewolf.

“Mate, seriously? You wouldn’t mind?” Sirius asked him. He was honestly really tired and as much as he loved you, he needed a break. “I’ll just be gone for like an hour tops and I honestly think she’s gonna sleep all day so you can just-”

“Padfoot, it’s fine” Remus insisted. “I can check on her and make sure she gets some rest-”

“Could you also please make sure she eats something? She sometimes doesn’t-”

“I will” Remus assured him. “Really, Pads. Just go enjoy Hogsmeade, I’ll stay here working and keep her company” he told him.

“Thanks so much, Moons” Sirius said, finishing his coffee and getting up. “I’ll let Reg know” he told him.

“I’ll come with you, I need to get my sweater” Peter said, getting up too. “Meet outside?” he told James and Sirius and they both nodded before the other two boys left the Great Hall.

“So…” James said turning to Remus who was reading his Daily Prophet again. “You’re staying here, huh?” he smirked. Remus turned his eyes from the paper to his friend.

“Yeah, I thought Padfoot could use a break-”

“Or… you thought… you could stay here with someone” James said, arching his eyebrows up and down.

“Prongs, what are you trying to say?” he said, putting the paper away.

“Nothing” James shrugged. “I’m just saying I find it interesting that you’re staying behind with... someone” he told him.

“Stop saying it like that! I’m not staying behind with her. I need to-”

“Get ahead on homework? The homework you told me you just finished last night?” he said, placing his head on his hand.

“What’s your point, James?” Remus said, rolling his eyes and taking a sip of his tea.

“You’re in love with her” he smiled, making Remus choke on his tea.

“W-what?” he asked, trying to recover himself and faking a laugh. “That is just ridiculous, Prongs-”

“Is it, Remus?”

“Yes, James. It is” he glared at the bespectacled boy.

“Tell me I’m wrong, then” James said with a smirk still plastered on his face.

“W-well… you’re wrong” Remus said unconvincingly.

“You know you’re a terrible liar, right?”

“I’m not lying” he chuckled.

“You just looked away” James pointed out.

“So?”

“You do that every time you lie” he shrugged.

“No, I don’t” he said, rolling his eyes again. “Shit” he muttered.

“I knew it” James said excitedly, banging his hands on the table.

“Would you keep it down? If Padfoot finds out he’s gonna kill me!”

“No, he’s not” James laughed. “I mean, he’s not gonna like it but… I don’t think he’s gonna kill you” he told him.

“Really?”

“Look mate, we all love her and try to help as much as we can but… Wormtail and I don’t do nearly as much as you do for her and none of us look as miserable as you do whenever Padfoot tells us it’s been a rough night” he explained. “I know you don’t do it because Sirius is your favorite person-”

“Sirius is not my favorite person-!”

“Exactly, that’s what I’m saying, he’s not” he told him. “It’s her. And she also loves it when you take care of her” he told him.

“What?”

“You haven’t noticed?” James asked. “You always make her smile whenever we come visit her and her face lights up when you read to her” he told her.

“She- she does?” he asked with a small smile.

“I’m telling you, mate. I’ve known for a while. And if you ask me, you’d be kinda perfect for each other” he told him.

“Really?”

“Yeah” James said as if it was obvious. “I know you said you’re not staying with her, but I think she would love to know that you are” he said before getting up. “Think about it, mate” he told Remus before he left the Great Hall.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

You rolled around on your bed, waking up when you started coughing. You slowly sat up and grabbed the glass of water on your nightstand and then the little potion Regulus had left for you. You were finally feeling a little bit better and decided to take a shower and head down to the library to get some books and maybe get something to eat as well. You were happy both your brothers went to enjoy their day in Hogsmeade. You felt extremely guilty that they had to miss so many things because they were taking care of you. And the two of them could be really overprotective sometimes so you were happy they took a break.

You entered the library and wandered through the halls looking for books and then you heard him. You could recognize his laughter anywhere. You grabbed the book to your left and you saw Remus on the other side of the bookshelf. You felt your heart quickly racing when he smiled but it dropped as soon as you saw he was talking to a couple of girls from Gryffindor. You had seen them around the Marauders before and you had always assumed they liked Sirius or James or maybe Peter. But you noticed that one of them seemed particularly interested in everything Remus had to say. She laughed extra hard whenever he said something funny. She always made it a habit to find an excuse to touch Remus whenever they talked.

And you noticed all these things because it always made your heart ache when it happened. Because you had been in love with Remus Lupin for a very long time. But you were certain that he would never look at you that way. Because you were Sirius’ little sister that got sick all the time. So you tried to avoid thinking about that but it was a bit harder whenever you saw him with these girls around. You sighed, deciding to not make yourself feel worse, and put the book back before you walked away. But it wasn’t that long before he found you.

“Love?”

You turned around to see Remus at the end of the hallway in the Library now.

“Remus” you said with a weak smile.

“Aren’t you supposed to be resting?” he asked, with a small smile, walking closer to you.

You looked at him nervously and hugged the books closer to your chest.

“Please, don’t tell my brothers” you begged. “I just came here to get a few books and I was going to get something to eat and go back to my room. I just don’t want to fall behind in my classes and I know that-”

“Relax, love” he smiled sweetly at you and took the books from you. “I won’t tell your brothers, I promise” he said, making your cheeks burn and your heart flutter as it happened whenever he smiled your way and even more when he called you ‘love’.

“Thank you” you smiled weakly. “Why aren’t you in Hogsmeade?” you asked. “Did Sirius send you to make sure that I wasn’t-?”

“No” he chuckled. “I swear, neither one of your brothers sent me” he insisted as the two of you walked out of the library and over to the kitchens.

“So, how come you’re here then?” you asked confused.

“Well, I wanted to see if you were okay” he said, making your heart race a little. “Sirius said you had a tough night” he said, making your heart drop instead. Of course, he’s only here because he’s worried that you’re his best friend’s fragile little sister who always gets sick and may just drop dead at any moment.

“Oh” you said, looking away. “I’m fine, thanks” you said. “You didn’t have to come all this way to check up on me. I’m not gonna die” you told him, trying to make a joke but Remus didn’t laugh.

“You know I don’t mind, right?” he told you.

“Right” you smiled sadly.

“I don’t” he said softly, stopping you before you could enter the kitchens.

“Look, Remus, I… I really appreciate you looking after me, but you don’t have to ruin your whole Saturday to do it” you said with a tight smile.

“I’m not ruining my Saturday-”

“Wouldn’t you rather be at Hogsmeade?”

“Not really” he admitted, surprising you a little. “Why do you think I’d only care about you because one of your brothers sent me here?” he asked.

Before you could reply, the door to the kitchen opened, revealing one of the elves with a big basket of food.

“Miss Black” Blim said, happily. “We were expecting you. Your brother instructed for us to prepare a special meal for you.”

You looked at Remus as if to say that everyone around you basically cared about you because your brothers took care of you and you couldn’t do it yourself. But you then looked back at the basket full of food and smiled politely because of the hard work the elves put into it.

“Thank you, Blim” you said, taking the basket from the elf. “I hope it wasn’t too much trouble” you smiled.

“Oh, no trouble at all. We are happy we can help Miss Black since she’s not well” Blim said before going back to the kitchens.

“Here, I can-”

“Remus John Lupin, if you try to take this basket away from me I swear I will hit you with it. And I’ll show you that I’m strong enough to do it!” you said, glaring at him.

“Sorry” he said, walking alongside you. “I just want to-”

“I know. You just want to help” you told him.

“Why do you think that’s such a bad thing?” he asked you, confused.

“I don’t, sorry. I just…” you sighed. “I’m just tired” you muttered.

“Well, I can walk you to your dorm and-”

“No” you interrupted him, grabbing the books from him. “Look, I don’t expect you to understand. You should just enjoy the rest of your day and go to Hogsmeade, I’m gonna go lay down for a while-”

“No, wait” he said, grabbing your hand and turning you around. “I’m not going to apologize for caring about you, okay? And if anyone understands it’s me” he told you. “I get it. I get how you’re feeling because it always happens to me after the full moon. And if I recall correctly, the last time you stayed all day in the Hospital Wing keeping me company, playing music and reading-”

“That’s different” you said, rolling your eyes.

“How so?”

“Because-” you stopped yourself before you could blurt out what you really wanted to say which was that you were in love with Remus and you would take all the time with him you could get. “Because it is” you said stubbornly.

“You are as bad as your brother when you try to make a valid point” he laughed.

“Take that back!” you gasped, offended.

“My point is, there’s nothing wrong with asking for help and there is nothing wrong with me worrying about you-”

“And my point is, you don’t have to do this just because I’m Sirius’ little sister who always gets sick and might drop dead at any moment! I’m sure you have better things to do-”

“Wait, is that why you think I worry about you?” he asked you once you reached the entrance of the Hufflepuff Common Room.

“Well… yes” you shrugged. “Isn’t it? That’s what everyone thinks. That I’m Sirius and Regulus’ fragile little sister so they all walk on eggshells around me. I get it-”

“No, love, you really don’t” Remus chuckled softly. “For someone so smart you can be very clueless, you know?”

“Really?” you asked, trying to sound annoyed instead of melting at the fact that he was smiling dreamily at you and he had called you ‘love’ again. “Then, enlighten me, Remus Lupin. Why are you here on a Saturday, worrying about me, instead of being at Hogsmeade?”

“Well, Miss Black” he said in a mocking tone before he grabbed the books back from you. “If you must know” he sighed. “I’m here because I hate the fact that my favorite person is the one who has to go through more pain than even I do and it’s not only once a month” he told you, taking you by surprise and making you look softly at him. “And whenever Sirius tells me that it’s been a rough night, or I can see how tired she is” he pointed out, looking at the dark circles under your eyes. “I just want to try and do whatever I can to make her feel better. Because that’s what she does for me every time I’m feeling sick” he smiled sweetly at you.

You couldn’t help but feel butterflies in your stomach, and your heart, and you were certain it wasn’t because of any fever or anything like that. It was because of the guy standing in front of you.

“I’m- um… I’m your favorite person?” you asked, feeling your cheeks burn as a smile crept on your face. “As in… more than Sirius?”

Remus laughed, looking at you as if you were crazy. “Of course, more than Sirius. Why does everyone think he’s my favorite person?”

“Because you’re the only person he actually listens to” you informed him. “Even more than James” you said.

“Even if that’s true, which I don’t think it is. Yes, you, love, are my favorite person” he smiled. “And I hate seeing you in pain” he continued, getting closer to you. “That’s why I’m here. And I’m not going to apologize for worrying about you. Is that okay?”

“Well um…” you said, feeling your heart flutter and your cheeks burning even more. You couldn’t look away from his beautiful green eyes. “Y-you’re my favorite person too, Rem” you smiled shyly at him.

“I am?” he asked, smiling brightly, making your knees go weak and you managed to nod.

“Are you joking? Of course, you are” you told him, looking down shyly. “You do things like these. You stayed behind from a trip to Hogsmeade and… you read to me when I’m not feeling well. And I’m not really sure why when it’s you doing all this I don’t-” you sighed. “I don’t actually mind it” you said, feeling your cheeks burn. “I kind of… like it” you said, looking down.

Remus took a deep breath and cupped your cheek so you would look at him. It was now or never.

“Well, that’s good” he smiled. “Because I actually like reading to make you feel better” he said. “I like doing whatever I can to make you feel better” he said, starting to lean in. “And… if you let me, I’d like to keep doing that” he said, so close to you. “Because I’m in love with you” he blurted out, smiling at you. You felt your breath caught up in your throat and your knees felt weak. You could swear you would wake up at any moment.

“Y-you- really?” was the only thing you managed to stutter out.

“Are you seriously still going to question me?” he asked, smirking a little. You smiled back at him and felt butterflies in your entire body when he closed the gap between the two of you and pressed his lips against yours.

Kissing Remus Lupin was better than you had ever imagined. If you still had any doubts (not that you did) about being in love with him they were now completely gone. But as soon as you started to kiss him, you pushed him away.

“S-sorry” you said when you saw the worried look on his face. “I just… don’t want to get you sick” you muttered. Remus smiled and cupped your cheek again. “But... I’m in love with you too” you confessed

“Then, I’ll take my chances, love” he said, kissing you once more.

“Do you um-” you said shyly. “Would you like to come in and eat some of this” you said, showing him the basket. “And… m-maybe-”

“Would you like me to read to you, love?”

“Could you? I still have a small headache and I-” Remus cut you off, giving you a peck on the lips.

“I just said, I like doing whatever I can to make you feel better, love” he said, kissing your forehead and making you smile.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“Hey, princess. We’re back” Regulus said quietly, opening the door to your dorm.

“How are you-? WHAT THE FUCK?!” Sirius whispered-yelled when he saw Remus lying with you on your bet and you, asleep, resting your head on his chest as he signaled for your brothers to be quiet.

Regulus was smirking more than he had ever in his life probably. Mostly because Sirius owed him 50 galleons. But also because his older brother was trying to kill his best friends with his own eyes.

“Sirius, you need to calm down-” he whispered to his older brother.

“Shut up, Reggie!” Sirius snapped, before looking back at Remus. “Outside, right now!” he said before he turned around and walked out of your dorm.

Remus rolled his eyes and tried his best to not wake you up as he untangled himself from you and stood up from the bed. He kissed your forehead before he followed your brother.

“Is he gonna kill me?” he asked Regulus.

“We both know that you would win in a fight, Lupin” Regulus chuckled, following the werewolf out where Sirius was already pacing back and forth.

“What the fuck is this, Lupin?”

“Siri, calm down” Regulus said, rolling his eyes.

“No! You said you would stay and keep an eye on her. Not jump into bed with her!”

“I didn’t jump into bed with her, Padfoot!” Remus said, glaring at him. “I was keeping her company and I offered to read to her and she fell asleep” he explained.

“Oh, really? That’s it?” Sirius asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Y-yes” Remus said, looking away. Fuck.

“You’re lying!”

“Fine! We kissed” Remus admitted.

“You WHAT?!” Sirius snapped, trying to throw himself at Remus. “I’m gonna kill you-!”

“Alright, Sirius, that’s enough” Regulus said, pulling him back. “We both know you’re not going to kill Remus because a) he’s your best friend, b) if you do, I’m pretty sure our sister would kill you” he explained. “And c) Remus loves her and she loves him so stop with your bloody drama” he told his brother.

“They do not-” Sirius chuckled but then he noticed Remus blushing and looking away. “Wait… are you?” he asked. “You’re in love with her?”

“I am” Remus nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want you to-”

“Overreact like he’s doing right now?” Regulus smirked, earning a glare from his older brother.

“Well… yes” Remus said while Sirius still glared at him. “Look, I know she’s your sister and you two love her more than anybody else. But so do I and I promise I would never hurt her” he said, truthfully.

“Come on, Siri. You have to admit, they’re kind of perfect for each other” Regulus said, trying to help Remus.

“Fine” Sirius said, rolling his eyes. “But no kissing in front of me” he said, pointing his finger at Remus.

“Fair enough” Remus chuckled, looking at Regulus. “Anything you’d like to add?”

“Not really. It was about bloody time” he said, patting him on the shoulder. “You know she honestly feels better whenever you’re around, right?”

“Thanks, mate” Remus smiled as Sirius rolled his eyes and the three of them walked back into the room.

“Hey” you said, sitting up and smiling at your brothers. “You guys are back” you yawned.

“Yeah, just in time to have a chat with your new boyfriend” Sirius smirked mockingly as he sat on your bed.

“Sirius!” both Remus and Regulus scowled at him.

“Are you upset?” you asked a little nervous.

The only one that had known about you being in love with Remus was Regulus. And you were dreading the day that Sirius would find out. Sirius glared at Remus as he sat down next to you and wrapped his arm around you. He wasn’t. He knew Regulus was right. And he had noticed for a while. And as much as he hated to admit it, he had seen how you felt better whenever Remus was around. And how he always felt better whenever you were around on the day after the full moon.

“No, princess” Sirius said, looking back at you. “I’m…” he sighed. “I’m really happy for you two” he admitted.

“Really?” you smiled a little brighter.

“Yes” he said, rolling his eyes. “But no kissing in front of me!” he repeated, making Regulus laugh. “And don’t think that because of this you’re coming on the full moons-”

“Yes, I second that” Remus said, raising his hand, making eye contact with Sirius, and making you roll your eyes a little.

“Fine” you told them. “But I get to be there the day after” you insisted.

“Only if you’re feeling well that day” Sirius told you.

“Deal” you said, shaking his hand. Remus pulled you closer, kissing your forehead as you smiled at your brothers. “So… what did you guys bring me from Hogsmeade?”

The End

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[Part 1]

A/N: ahh xD I hope you guys liked it! please let me know what you think :)

#marauders #marauders imagine #remus lupin #sirius black #regulus black #remus lupin imagine #sirius black imagine #regulus black imagine #remus lupin x reader #sirius black x sister!reader #regulus black x sister!reader #remus lupin oneshot #sirius black oneshot #regulus black oneshot

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moonspirit · 4 months

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Mr Leonhart opinions and Annie and his relationship post cannon headcannons?

(Ik u fic is dealing with him atm so u dont have to make it related of u don’t want to)

Like (if he lives long enough as my friend thinks he will die before this will happen) do u think he will be a good grandfather? Will Annie let her kid see him?

Will he walk Annie down the aisle or will someone else do it?!? I wish we got more on their relationship

Hi Hello!!

Annie and her dad huh. To be honest I never really felt much in either like or dislike towards Mr.Leonhardt, instead I always just went 😟😟 when we got Annie's backstory in full. He was a bad father, but then seeing a few takes on why he was a Trash Dad, I thought "Oh yeah that makes sense." I'm fully on board the Trash Dad Camp now.

In that regard, my personal take is that the relationship between Annie and her dad never really "goes" anywhere, post canon. There is too much abuse in her childhood, abuse that he inflicted on her for entirely selfish reasons. He didn't see an orphaned baby but a tool he could sharpen into a blade for himself. Annie's the way she is emotionally because of how he "raised her". So I find it very hard to see them having a very normal & cheerful father and daughter relationship, post canon.

Because he cried and hugged her before she left, Annie was touched (and haha she was touched by the half iota of affection there because he deprived her of any at all lmao) and made it her life mission to reunite with him. But to me, that doesn't seem enough to repair a whole decade of abuse and how he used her. Initial relief and happiness aside (like the hug in Fort Salta), I don't see them being chummy. Her father knows nothing about her. What Annie likes or dislikes, food wise, people wise, anything wise. She made her first friends in the 104th, she trashed her mission for a boy, she went back to the battle for the alliance members she obviously cared for - this is Annie. This is the real Annie, not what her father knew in those 10 years when she likely didn't know herself either.

So, honestly and if anything, their relationship post canon is functional. Functional in the respect that they talk, they share meals, they spend some time together, but it never progresses beyond that. It doesn't heal. It isn't repaired. They don't get close. Instead it's something that exists, with some stability - and I think Annie needs that stability.

(anything more on that and I'll spoil VBEOW, sorry xD)

As for the headcanons you asked... For me they all work off the above perspective I have. Mr. Leonhardt being a good grandfather? I honestly like to think he wouldn't know the first thing about being a good parent, let alone a grandfather. Simply being remorseful of your past actions doesn't transform you into a radically different human being without any serious effort put in. We don't know how he "truly changed" (if at all) during the years Annie was away. He may not be an angry violent man anymore but it's still not enough to be a good parent figure. Caring for someone is a whole different thing, after all.

Will Annie let her child close to him? Sure. I think that's part of having a functional and stable relationship with her father, she won't ban her child from interaction. But there will not be any "closeness" or "warmth", and the child may not spend too much time with Mr. Leonhardt anyway.

Now, god, will he walk Annie down the aisle? Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm gonna be emotional and angry and say: his leg is probably much worse, so Annie has the luck of getting Jean or Reiner or Connie doing it instead. Much better.

Thank you for asking :3

#ask #aruaniandother #annie leonhart #mr leonhardt #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #annie leonhardt #headcanon

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phoenixisobsessed · 9 days

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I think you may be my favorite tumblr blorbo, art is scrumptious, you're so friendly and active, and I love seeing you post. Every day I wake up and check to see if you've posted anything new, and then I look at your old posts again. You are just so cool. Your ocs are cool too, I love reading your rambles and lore dumps.

I hope you are aware of how cool you are too. You inspire me a lot, to draw and otherwise.

Oh my god I’m sobbing.

I ngl post my stuff with long as hell rambles expecting literally nobody to read them because I am just The YapperTM and this…AARGEHHAGD. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY?? I AM SO TOUCHED??? Thank you. Thank you very much. I am glad to inspire others, really. I almost want to say that’s the reason I do this :,D

I ngl wake up every day, just immediately checking Tumblr for any new asks because I love answering them, talking, and seeing what people want from me. Like today I woke up to that one ask about my persona being a triple changer and I literally giggled and kicked my feet, so I can say, same here. I too wake up excited to see you guys.

I often say “I’m so cool guys” or something stupid like that. I’m one of those. But, I do genuinely feel pretty awesome. I know I’m not the perfect person but I feel pretty cool. B)

I always hate negativity and such things on the internet. All of the drama and cancel culture. There’s a reason the only social media I use is Tumblr because it at least feels a bit more chill here. I always inspire to be a bit more positive, lighthearted, and honestly just have fun. We all have dark moments in our lives, and honestly, if I can just make one person��s day just a little bit better, that would mean the world to me.

Now I’m getting a bit off topic ish, but some of this wanting to inspire and bring positivity into people’s lives may connect to my dreams of becoming a teacher xD. I hope to one day inspire as many people as I can to be the best versions of themselves. Like yeah, I joke around a lot and have a difficult time handling specific stressful situations, but damn if I can just make sure somebody else has the support or just inspiration to keep working towards what they want, I will literally have my life completed.

So anyway, summed up, I’m so happy you feel that way about my blog, because that’s exactly what I want it to be :). No judgement zone where I can just be myself, none of that dumbass influencer shabam where I put myself on a pedestal. I like interacting with others who have the same interests as me, and drawing. That’s all I want. And I’m so happy it’s working out. On this blog, we’re just being real. No fear. We’re ourselves because damn it it’s sure as hell okay to be who you are. We all need a safe space and I hope to provide that for at least one of you.

#thanks anon!#i love all of you #sobbing a little #transformers #maccadams #maccadam #asks open #send asks #send me asks #send anons #ask blog #anon ask #ask me anything #ask

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readersandimagines · 6 months

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Pulling Me Under (Loki X Reader)

Hi! Uhhh No content warning that I can think of other then no editing prior to me throwing this out here into the universe XD Just a random idea I had based on a dream. Let me know what you think and if I should continue this?

If anyone would have asked Loki to define true love his answer would be to quickly say that true love doesn’t exist. He would say that it’s something Midgardian made up as a way to give their silly little lives meaning. Sure, he had seen the way his mother looked at his father when he was younger, but even on Asgard love was something complicated and something he would rather not dive into.

Loki was the God of Mischief after all, so it was always safe to assume that he had every kind of experience known to a human in regards to love. After all, he had been around for centuries. And yet, Loki’s perception had changed the moment he locked eyes with you. You simply took his breath away in ways that he thought never could exist.

At first, Loki thought you may be a sorcerer, casting a spell upon him. He watched you curiously as you spoke to the other Midgardians, assuring them you would be fine for “guard duty”, whatever that meant. He paced within the glass chamber that held him. He needed to get the specter and finish his mission. He needed to take over this blasted planet and make everyone kneel before their new king.

“So why don’t we make this easier for everyone and you tell me about the wand,” you called, leaning against the railing outside of the container.

“It’s a specter and I will be needing it back,” he said dryly.

You sighed. Of course he wasn’t going to make this easy. You quickly scanned your notes from the clipboard in your hands. SHIELD hasn't given you much information. Only that the god before you was Loki, God of Mischief, brother of Thor. The same Thor who all of your coworkers were practically drooling over. You made a face thinking about the break room full of giggles, everyone else seeming to be fantasizing about the elder brother and yet you didn’t see it. Thor seemed arrogant and proud, too proud to even speak when you had passed him on the way to take over guard duty. At least Loki acknowledged your existence.

“Hello? Midgardian? I asked your name,” Loki’s voice called, snapping you out of your trance.

“______,” you answered honestly.

You didn’t know why you had given him your real name, but something about the way his bright green eyes looked over you sent shivers down your spine. You felt compelled to talk to Loki more, almost yearning to know more about him, about his cause— yet you stopped yourself. This man— God— whatever he was had murdered hundreds of people. He was dangerous; hence the giant glass cage he was in before you; but you found yourself drawn to him, silently begging him to say your name.

“______,” Loki said, repeating the name you had given him. He liked the way it sounded coming from his lips. “Say, ______, why don’t you let me out of here so we can retrieve the Tesseract and my specter together? Then I can go about my business and become your new king.”

Loki was no fool; he knew simply trying to play nice wouldn’t get him his freedom. But he also couldn’t bring himself to threaten you like the guards before you. Loki studied you; noticing the way you glanced between him and the board in front of you told him all he needed to know: you were just as confused by him as he was you. He watched as you matched his pacing, subconsciously matching his speed as you both walked around the cell.

This had become a game of cat and mouse; only no one was really sure who was the cat. You both felt the tension in the air. It was silent minus the sound of your footsteps echoing around the room. Part of you prayed for Fury or Stark to come relieve you, send you away to get air. Yet the yearning grew stronger. The need to know more grew and grew until you could no longer stop it. Suddenly you found yourself entering the code for the center and stopping in front of the man who was once held captive inside.

Loki stopped in disbelief. Had he really convinced you to let him out? He shook his head, no this feeling-- it was something even he could no longer deny. Loki wanted to be selfish. He needed to find his scepter and the tesseract. Voices within echoed, yelling at him to move, to break free from his chains, but instead he shocked even himself holding out his hand.

You looked at him, every fiber of your being seemed to be yelling at you to run. Every training you had ever taken told you how wrong this was-- how badly this would end, and even still it was a risk you couldn’t help but take. You took his hand, mentally making a note of how soft his touch was as he pulled you close. Loki was inches from your face, both of you frozen in the moment not knowing why or how you ended up here.

“Well that was rather unexpected,” Loki admitted aloud, gently pinning you against the cell that once held him.

He knew he could break you, leave you for dead. He knew that’s what he needed to do otherwise he risked ending up dead himself. Loki knew showing this much weakness-- for anyone, let alone a Midgardian, made him no better than his blasted brother. Loki cursed at the mere thought of his adopted brother. He wanted so badly to hate him so badly to show him how it felt to be forgotten, but Loki still couldn't’ focus.

He found himself effortlessly pinning you against the wall yet you didn’t fight him. You watched him seeming to be entranced by his presence. Thousands of questions came to mind, yet nothing could come out of his mouth. The two of you could have stood there for hours, yet it felt as though no time had passed. Loki wasn’t sure himself what to do next.

“____________ you in here?” A voice called, the wide door to the room that held the cage opened.

You froze, you knew that voice. You knew how disappointed that voice would be to find you being so weak; so helpless as Loki held you. Yet you still couldn’t find the will to fight. You couldn’t find the will to scream. You honestly wondered if he had done something to brainwash you.

Loki’s eyes widened as he watched the door open, a figure approaching. Time was ticking, his window to freedom was vanishing. He cursed himself once again before taking his hand and wrapping it around your waist. He wasn’t going down, but he also wasn’t letting you out of his sights.

You weren’t sure how he did it, but suddenly you weren’t in the room with the cell. You looked around, realizing he had teleported you both in the room where the newly formed AVENGERS were meeting. But why here, you wondered looking around before noticing the scepter that was just feet away.

“Um, who let the newbie in here?” a voice asked.

You waved awkwardly, trying to decide if it was best to run or distract. Everyone in the room stared at you, Tony Stark and Captain America both standing and glaring at each other before moving towards you.

Everything else happened within an instant. Thor locked eyes with Loki. Cap realizing that Loki still held you against himself. The room turned into chaos, everything seeming to cause another big reaction. You weren’t sure what to do, yet you didn’t have to do anything. Loki jumped into action, grabbing his scepter and using it to turn Hawkeye against the others.

You closed your eyes, not wanting to witness the fighting, but the world around you grew quiet. You peeked your eyes open to find that Loki had teleported you somewhere else-- but you weren’t sure where. You looked around, noting the lack of city streets. A flower field stretched out in front of you, guarded by a forest.

“Alright Midgardian, now we have all the time in the world,” Loki’s voice growled as he swiftly pinned you against a nearby tree.

“W-what?” you questioned.

“Don’t play coy with me. You’re a sorcerer aren’t you?” Loki’s tone was serious, but you couldn’t help but stifle out a giggle at how absurd he was being.

“Me? A sorcerer? Buddy up until you and Goldilocks showed up I was just a normal human with a boring government job,” you admitted.

Loki searched your face hoping to find something he could go off of. He, being the God of Mischief, could tell when humans tried to be deceitful, yet he couldn’t sense anything from you. He wanted to scream, to be infuriated. If you hadn’t done anything, why couldn’t he shake this maddening feeling? Why couldn’t he get the thoughts of leaning down, pressing his lips against yours out of his mind?

The more he thought, the more he realized how little he knew regarding this topic. Yet he had time. He knew the others wouldn’t find the two of you. But now what? What was his next move? Loki released his grasp on you, beginning to pace as he lost himself in his own thoughts. Normally you would object; you would demand to be taken back. But something in you was curious as to where this would lead. Neither of you truly knew how powerful this connection was, yet no one could deny the chemistry between you. All you knew was you wanted to be where he was, as crazy as that sounded-- but then again it didn’t sound so crazy to him. Maybe Midgard wasn’t such a bad place to be after all.

#artemis rose writes #artemis writes #ask artemis!#avengers #loki laufeyson #loki x reader

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aeternallis · 1 year

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Kim’s Redemption : A Rant

I think one of the things that I tend to question and kinda struggle with at times being a KP enjoyer is the fandom’s general tendency to soften certain aspects of Kim’s personality and his actions as a way of redeeming him, either due to the influence of Jeff Satur’s media personality and/or when he’s compared to Vegas and Kinn.

And before I say anything else, this is not a jab towards anyone in particular, it’s just me ranting about my favorite character, so you can go on about your day if you don’t wanna read what I gotta say. 😆

I think part of my struggle comes from the fact that since Kim barely has any scenes in the show that lasts longer than 2-3 mins, I’m also somewhat constricted from the few assumptions I can make in how I interpret him, especially when I’m writing fic (which I am doing atm). Which in and of itself isn’t totally a bad thing, at least I don’t think so; if anything, I think that makes it a lot more fun as a challenge.

For example, if you were to ask me how do I think Porsche would react to finding out Kim had used and manipulated his little brother, I honestly couldn’t tell you. Kim and Chay’s storyline was so cut off from everything else in the beginning that ngl, it was a bit of a whiplash once their narrative finally began to intersect with the main plot, lol I can't really see Porsche getting angry, if nothing else due to his ignorance of Kimchay's situation (which also imo, isn't really a bad thing), but I also don't know if I can see him being lenient towards Kim, because he's also overprotective of Chay.

So in the end, I just choose not to think about it, and work within that framework instead~

But anyway, I digress!

Jeff's media personality and its influence on how Kim is interpreted as a character, that one is pretty much unavoidable, since the two men share the same face and body. XD Some can differentiate between the two much more than others, some tend to meld them as a sort of hybrid and use Kim as the container of a Jeff-esque fantasy, and all in all, that sort of thing is entirely dependent on preference and said fantasy, yknow? So it's just one of those things that I tend to scroll past or move on.

What truly gets me so befuddled though is when Kim is compared to Vegas and Kinn, and between the three of them, somehow Kim is taken to be the least problematic of the three, in terms of how they treated their romantic interest. And I'm not really sure how that conclusion came about, lol. In fact, I even remember reading a meta on here somewhere saying something along the lines of, compared to Vegas and Kinn's actions towards Pete and Porsche respectively, what Kim did to Chay was somewhat lenient and doesn't warrant that much groveling.

And I agree with that, at least in regards to the technical details, because OP was right. Kim never blackmailed Chay, nor assaulted or threatened him; in regards to physical intimacy, Kim never touched Chay in a way that was non-consensual.

But be that as it may, that way of thinking comes from the audience's POV, not Chay as a character.

And it really doesn't, right?

Chay doesn't know--or at the very least, we have no confirmation he's aware--the extent of what Porsche suffered through during the beginnings of his relationship with Kinn; he knows they're together, but I highly doubt Porsche told Chay he was pretty much sexually assaulted that first time. He REALLY doesn't know what's involved in VegasPete's relationship, much less their BDSM proclivities. Lol XD

In other words, Chay's actions and feelings post break-up with Kim (as well as the subsequent reconciliation) are and would be entirely based on his own experience, as they should, not based on the assumption that, when compared to Porsche and Pete's experiences with their respective Theerapanyakul, he got off lightly.

I think personally, something that often tends to be forgotten when Kim is made a lot more soft uWu babygirl than (imo) he really is is the fact that what Chay went through emotionally is, in and of itself, also a form of trauma. Sure, Chay was never physically hurt by Kim, but I don't think the emotional damage Kim dealt him is something that should be taken just for granted either.

There's a reason why this boy spiraled right after that devastating break up, and why he cried out the way he did. So how you interpret and imagine what Chay's next course of action would be if/when forgiving Kim is entirely up to you, including how he would respond and deal with the emotional trauma of that break-up. That scenario would come about based on your own interpretation of the show, your own preferences, and frankly, your own beliefs and life experience. If you think Chay is the type that needs some groveling/begging from Kim in order to heal, go for it, that's completely valid; if you think he can get over it easily enough, that's valid too.

It goes without saying, but just in case~

I stand by what I said before that although Kim has not physically harmed Chay in the way Kinn and Vegas has with Porsche and Pete, he's just as capable of doing that as his brother and cousin. And honestly, that's what makes Kim and the rest of the characters such an awesome bunch to me; a character doesn't have to be morally good in order to be a good character, yknow? Besides, I think that's what makes all three love stories strong enough to stand on their own: these Theerapanyakul men can love fiercely, but they can and have hurt and manipulated the people they love just as fiercely.

The physical and emotional wounds Porsche, Porchay, and Pete have suffered in varying degrees is incomparable, because by doing that in the first place, the characters' agency in turn is taken away.

And don't get me wrong, if you genuinely see Kim as a soft, uWu babygirl because that's how you HC him, go for it and more power to you! XD But if you HC him as being soft, uWu babygirl because he never physically assaulted Chay when you compare his actions to the shit Vegas and Kinn did, well...more power to you too, although I imagine this rant probably feels like a personal attack. Sorry about that~

But for my own interpretation (and limitation I admit, as well as it not being my preference in general; Kim can be soft for Chay and his family, but otherwise, there's a reason Korn doesn't trust him and in the books, is secretly made the true heir), I guess the reason I'm not inclined to see Kim as having a lot of the softer edges fanon!Kim has to the point that it's made part of his overall personality, is because, for me, it almost feels like I would be trivializing Chay's emotional trauma, just so they can quickly get together again and share in the fluff and puff, yknow? Almost like trying to resist the urge to think, "in order for Chay to be able to handle Kim, you gotta soften him up a little bit."

Because then I would be doing a disservice to Chay's character, who imo is more than capable of handling Kim's problematic tendencies. This boy had no problem blocking Kim's ass and pulling away from him, he can handle himself~

And just so we're clear, I'm not saying those fans who do see Kim as a soft, uWu boy with stunted emotions is doing just that, not at all. Just that for me personally, that's kinda the mental block in my noggin. XD Besides that, I'm just a sucker for angst, man.

But meh, at the end of the day, to each their own, yknow? XD That's what makes fandom so much fun, you can pick and choose what you want to engage with.

As an artist / fic writer, I'm just grateful I can feed myself the food I want to see~ Hehe!

#kimchay #meta #kinnporsche #rant post #kpts meta

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crowsandturtlesandbatsohmy · 3 months

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Haikyu Season 1 Finale

(I’m talking like episodes 20-25 because they’re all the finale to me)

My thoughts will be under the cut both for length and to avoid spoilers for anybody who, like me, is only just now getting into this AMAZING anime. (Tagging @banana-pancake5 because you wanted my thoughts on the finale :] it’s honestly all character focused but hey XD I am who I am, and who I am is character-oriented)

Okay, I’m not gonna structure this by episode or anything. I’m just gonna talk. Starting with…

Kageyama

HE’S GROWN UP SO MUCH SINCE THE BEGINNING!!! I’M SO PROUD OF HIM!!!! I love that he used his time on the bench to learn from Suga (I’ll circle back around to him in a while, don’t worry) instead of just getting more into his own head!! He fought so well and he’s really becoming such a team player! THAT ONE HANDED SET THOUGH!!!!!! WHAT!? I love that for the last hit of the match he set it to Hinata. I mean like, yeah, protagonist stuff and all, but if we just ignore that, it shows how much he trusts Hinata. It was do or die, and he placed full trust in Hinata to do. He trusted Hinata, the decoy, to do something that typically falls to the ace. Additional things I loved: Kageyama trying to smile, checking with people about sets, getting Tsuki to help him out with blocking, AND HIS ADORABLE FACE WHEN HE WAS PREPARING TO SERVE AFTER JUST GETTING BACK ON THE COURT!!!!

Hinata

Admittedly I don’t have much to say about Hinata’s growth right now because it’s been so steady. He’s doing such a good job as a decoy!!! I love the point where Asahi talked about doing his best as the ace and Hinata promised to be the best decoy he could be! AND KAGEYAMA TALKING ABOUT HOW HE NEARLY GOT TRICKED BY THE DECOY HIMSELF!!! Hinata realizing “when I’m upset Tanaka always says something” and then working himself up to say something to Tanaka was so good!! (Even if he didn’t actually get to say anything) I love that as Kageyama gets more and more stuck in his head Hinata just keeps bickering with him and bringing him back out :) Also just a moment of appreciation for Hinata getting the ball and then falling, like when he face-planted after saving the ball when it hit Tanaka, and when he only managed to brush the ball with his fingers during his spike and then landed really hard. And both times got right back up and kept going!! Hinata did great and I’m excited to see how he does next season! I’m also interested to see how he’s going to handle this loss, if he’s going to be able to brush it off or if it’s going to haunt him a bit.

Tanaka

I’M SO PROUD OF HIM!!! He didn’t let being blocked get in his head and he pushed through it AND SCORED!!! HE DID SUCH A GOOD JOB!!! I loved the coach talking about how Tanaka had the qualities of an ace. Knowing that the third years will be leaving after the spring tournament, and knowing Hinata isn’t ready for the role of ace yet, I think Tanaka would be a really good choice. He keeps himself and his teammates hyped, he works well with Nishinoya, he can spike hard enough to get through blocks, and he’s able to pull himself out of his own head! Also can we just appreciate Tanaka messing with his teammates during the match despite everything else going on? Goof. I love when Kageyama gets back on the court and Tanaka goes for a high-five XD Kageyama being oblivious, Tanaka doing nothing to explain himself, and Tanaka’s voice during that part (I watched the sub) had me dying laughing!

Yamaguchi

HE GOT TO USE HIS SERVE!!!! (and yeah it failed BUT HE GOT TO BE ON THE COURT!! HE GOT TO TRY!!!!) I was so so happy they let him try!! Also he picked himself up after the loss and continued learning his serve AND showed up at not-practice with a smile on his face!! And on top of that he’s been doing such a good job cheering his teammates on from the sidelines!! I felt so bad for him though when he was swapping out with Hinata and shaking like a leaf. But I’m glad he got to try :) I think that experience will be really good for him! I’M SO PROUD OF HIM!! HE DID HIS BEST!! He deserves a super big hug!

Nishinoya

I love that when Oikawa targeted him in order to try and break the team’s morale, Noya went “nah” and received the ball and ruined Oikawa’s plan. That’s my boy!!! ALSO THE FACT THAT IT WAS NOYA HE WENT AFTER TO BREAK THE MORALE!!! Like I get it probably had everything to do with Noya being the libero, BUT Noya’s role is more than that. He’s also their on-court hype man. (Tanaka does this some too and I’m glad that’s acknowledged in the show). He’s their safety net. He’s the one that pulls them all out of their heads and reminds them “hey, guys, don’t freak out. I’ve got your backs so just go for it!” If Noya had gotten stuck in his own head from Oikawa’s serve the team wouldn’t have lasted as long as they did. He’s so incredibly important despite being unable to score any points, and I’m glad that was recognized. WHAT WAS THAT SAVE!? HE CAUGHT IT WITH HIS FOOT!!!!! AAAHH!!!!!!!! And finally let’s just appreciate a couple things: - Noya yelling Hinata’s name and high-fiving him after Hinata’s barely-touching-the-ball hit scored! - Noya rubbing people’s heads (Tsuki, Kageyama, and Hinata) after they score! - Noya sticking his tongue out while waiting for the serve Oikawa directed at him - And finally, Noya doing handstands on people while celebrating! (I think he likes to be tall)

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Before I finish this up, I wanted to bring up a few other characters who I don’t have near as much to say about, but who still deserve recognition.

• Tsuki - Hey! I think we’re getting somewhere!! I’m looking forward to seeing how he starts fitting into the team better next season :)

• Daichi - Major respect, he tried his hardest to keep everything held together and he spent the majority of his time in the back with Noya, unable to spike for himself. That has to take a lot of trust in your teammates!

• Asahi - I appreciate his confidence and his promise to do his best as the ace! He got some good spikes in!

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

Sugawara

Me, the instant Kageyama starts getting stuck in his head: *muttering* c’mon c’mon c’mon switch out switch out switch out! Let Suga play! Them: *switches out* Me: YES!!!! *Spends the next 24 minutes in awe of Suga and SO EXCITED HE’S PLAYING* EEEEE!!!! HE GOT GAME TIME!!!!!!! :D I WAS SO WORRIED HE WASN’T GOING TO GET TO PLAY!!! Oikawa is right to call him Mr. Refreshing. THE ATTITUDE SHIFT THE INSTANT SUGA SET FOOT ON THAT COURT!?!? Everything changed!!! Can we just appreciate Suga roughing up all his teammates (except for Noya, who gets an adorable high-five!) and then having the audacity to turn around and give us such an innocent “I can do no wrong” smile I LOVE HOW HE CHECKS IN WITH EVERYBODY!! And the fact that every time you turn around he’s talking to his teammates about different strategy things AND IT ALL WORKS!!! He is just so supportive and so sweet and every time we see him I love him more. Finding out he didn’t get to be a starter last year either and he STILL doesn’t begrudge Kageyama for being the setter despite the fact that it’s his third and final year is just…. AGH! AND NOT ONLY DOES HE NOT BEGRUDGE HIM, HE ACTIVELY TEACHES KAGEYAMA TO MAKE HIM AN EVEN BETTER SETTER!! Really quickly I just want to touch on his dynamic with Hinata. The fact that he got Hinata to slow down and think!? Hinata being so adorably excited about Suga’s compliments?? LEARNING THAT SUGA CAME UP WITH THE SIGNS FOR HINATA AND KAGEYAMA’S QUICKS!!? The last thing I want to talk about is just how crucial Suga is to the team, regardless of whether or not he’s on the court. He can read people so well and he uses it not to figure out what the opponent is doing and thinking, but to figure out what his teammates are thinking and need. He’s there to cheer them all on throughout all of it, and even once he’s on the court and playing himself he doesn’t stop. He keeps tabs on them all and is aware of where they’re at mentally AND he figures out strategies at the same time! He offers advice from the side of the court when he isn’t playing, and despite having so little game time he has a really good dynamic with all of his teammates! I don’t know if this was their intent or not (I’m thinking so because to me it just feels so obvious??) but Suga really comes across as being the heart of the team. He keeps them all connected to each other because he’s so in tune with all of them! (You can also argue that it’s the combination of Suga, Noya, and Tanaka that make up the heart of the team. They’re the ones who are keeping everybody else fired up and going and out of their heads and willing to fight. I look at it both ways :] Noya and Tanaka are essential to the job as well, but Suga is special because of how he reads people.)

That loss was hard. It hurt. But they can come back from it! I can’t wait to see how the Spring Tournament plays out!!! AND ALL OF OUR THIRD YEARS ARE COMING BACK!!!! EEEEEE!!!!!

Oh man, I’m so excited for the next season!!

#crow’s cawing #haikyu #kageyama tobio #hinata shoyo #tanaka ryuunosuke #yamaguchi tadashi #nishinoya yū #sugawara kōshi #Can you tell who my favorite is? XD #Hint: It’s actually not Suga! I love him dearly though and he’s right up there

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chubs-deuce · 4 months

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Hi, fellow writer/artist here! This is about your recent post about struggling with your writing, and I found that I had a lot to say and I didn’t want to clog up the comment section, I hope it’s alright that I sent it this way, and if its too long or not helpful, my apologies XD

My number one tip: there are no rules! Writing is fun time! It’s kids finger painting with words! Its emotions! It’s characters we love, and stories our hearts or brains or some other parts of us wanna tell! Always lean into what sounds the most fun when you’re stuck! Even if you never use it! <3

In my experience, some writing is better than no writing when you feel like it's not good. Sometimes to get out of being stuck I find it best to just keep typing, even if it stops making sense, or i hit enter twice and start rattling off a new scene or a different story entirely! Sometimes I will literally just type ‘why does writing feel so hard. This feeelsss dumb blah blah blahblahblah fuuuuuck fuuuuuuuuuuuck why do I feel so stuck -’ And so on until eventually my brain thinks of something else haha – literally just a brain dump. Type any random word that comes to mind. Sometimes I just open a clean document and go at it with this, you can always copy paste anything remotely relevant that may come out of it somewhere else later.

The rewrite loop is a hard one, I find that when I'm stuck in that space, sometimes taking a step back and just literally making a bullet point list of the scenes and/or what I want to accomplish really helps! Recently I also started going through and highlighting certain passages or concepts in the document that are poignant to the themes or vibes of the story/ that I wanna circle back around to in some way. Its been helping me keep things a bit more consistent in terms of emotion, and has helped a lot with ‘scene-block’. Bc instead of being like ‘uhhhh okay what now?’ I can always look back through the highlights and see what needs to be carried through more – or it can spark a new idea from thinking over how to get to that specific point you want to reach!

Sometimes when writing feels too daunting to me I’ll literally just tell myself “that’s okay. You don’t have to write. You can do literally anything else.” And sometimes just that, the verbal removal of the pressure, can loosen things up – especially if I do want to be writing. But sometimes, you really just do need a break from it. Picking up another hobby to fill writing time when I’m burnt out really helps me out!

I’ve taken months away from all sorts of writing projects before (both fan work and personal) bc there was just a block. And it sucks. I’m really sorry you’ve been dealing with this, it’s such a frustrating experience.

Honestly, sometimes writing can help you work through something IRL, but other times I find that sometimes the writing has to wait until I’ve hit a certain milestone personally. There’s a project of mine I pick up maybe once a year. Maybe. Because it just can’t have what I need it to until I sort some of those personal things out in my own life.

I’ve also noticed how much your Charlastor Fankid AU has taken off (Love Dawn btw), and you expressed recently how you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by the amount of asks/etc with the executive dysfunction of it all (same btw) (I’m also the person from the comment on that - hi lol). I wouldn’t be surprised if some of those pressure-feelings you’ve expressed have bled over into your other WIPs, pls be kind to yourself <3

Think how long people waited for Hazbin content from Viv, or any other number of indie-origin fandoms. When people love an idea or a style or any other number of things, the people it resonates with are happy to give the person or people behind it time. You can tell when someone enjoys making things. When something is made with that passionate spark. I want you to know that your posts really do have that. I can tell how much love you have to give through your work. People who like your stuff aren’t going to disappear if you need to take a minute to breathe, you know? I know the world we live in, and the faux-perfection of the internet can make us creatives feel like we need to be machines, but it’s not true. We’re people. And other decent folks will be happy to respect that!

Creativity and how we express it is very personal, and everyone’s process is different, so I can only really speak from my own perspective here, but you’re doing great. Your work is amazing, and I hope your writer’s block clears up soon!

I hope this message doesn’t come off weird in any way, with this massive message out of ‘nowhere’, my heart just really went out to you on this from one writer and artist to another. I also sent this as an ask bc for some reason sending a DM this long felt weird given that we haven't really spoken before.

Good luck with everything! Always here if you need another creative person to complain to or chat with LOL

- Lizzie

sobbing, this actually made me so (positively) emotional man-

Thank you so so so much for taking the time to type all this out and reach out like this, it honestly means the world from me, especially since your ask here really is oozing with empathy and care in ways that surprisingly hit me in the feels pretty good???

I'm sorry I didn't respond to this sooner but I kind of couldn't muster the energy to give it the kind of response it deserves that wasn't just senseless keysmashing sdkjhsdkjfh

what's wack about my particular kind of writer's block is that I'm more than happy to ramble on and on about Dawn and my ideas for her story in asks etc, but to make a coherent story of it feels like an undoable feat somehow?

I've always had a knack for piecing together a plot out of thin air or based on next to nothing to go off of, but it's actually putting it into a consumable format that I always, ALWAYS get hung up on, and it bothers me to no end :'3

Your reassuring words genuinely really help a lot in soothing my fears of, well, I guess irrelevancy?

I do ultimately write for myself, but I can't help but feel like there's a ticking clock in the back of my brain that tells me I need to make something consumable before the "fad" around Dawn especially passes and most people that would've cared about a fic about her have already moved on, if that makes sense?

It's a stupid amount of pressure to put on myself and maybe even sounds kind of arrogant, but I do thrive off of seeing people react to and think out loud about things I'm passionate about - it's a connection, a communication of sorts, something I'll never not desperately crave.

I've been having so much fun with Dawn and the story surrounding her and I couldn't be happier that people are so engaging with what I put out in turn! So much so that a part of me dreads seeing when that will come to an end ^^"

I'll keep trying though, and keep doing what I love <3

Again, thank you so much for taking the time to reach out like this, a lot of this is something I definitely needed to hear and words can't express how much I sincerely appreciate it ;w;

#I also might actually take you up on that last sentence offer - likewise my dms are always open <3 #chubs answers #writing advice

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bloody-bee-tea · 9 months

Text

Gift for me

1) I am not back into Mingcheng, I'm very sorry to disappoint on that. This fic has been ready to go for a year now, and I am kind of happy to finally get it off my desktop XD

2) Happy New Year, may it be filled with love and softness and laughter and happiness for us all

Part 1 (Happy Birthday) Part 2 (Selfish Gift)

It’s the third birthday Nie Mingjue spends with Jiang Cheng right by his side and by now he stopped expecting anything. Jiang Cheng blew him out of the water when he actually cared more about his birthday than about any New Year’s celebration and then a year later he did it again when he asked Nie Mingjue to move in together.

This year—well this year, it’s Nie Mingjue who has a surprise for Jiang Cheng.

He had wanted to give it to him in bed, when they were both still sleep-warm and relaxed but of course Jiang Cheng doesn’t stick to any kind of plan at all and isn’t in bed when Nie Mingjue wakes up.

“A-Cheng,” Nie Mingjue groans out, his hands grasping at already cold sheets and his mood already turning for the worse.

“I’m right here, my heart,” Jiang Cheng says with a smile as he sticks his head into the bedroom but he’s not where he’s supposed to be, which is warm and lazy in Nie Mingjue’s arms.

“What are you doing?” Nie Mingjue demands to know, mustering his best glare even though he knows it’s not much, this soon after waking up.

“We’re getting guests in about half an hour,” Jiang Cheng informs him and Nie Mingjue lets his head drop back with a groan.

“What? No. Why? What happened to spending my birthday in bed together?” he demands to know because this wasn’t the plan.

“But we woke up together all year,” Jiang Cheng gives back and at that Nie Mingjue throws him an outraged look.

“You think waking up together every other day gets you out of waking up together on my birthday?” Nie Mingjue is honestly lost for words how Jiang Cheng could arrive at such a horrendously wrong conclusion but he softens a bit when Jiang Cheng laughs at him.

It is still one of Nie Mingjue’s most cherished sounds.

“Not really,” he admits as he comes closer to sit on Nie Mingjue’s side of the bed. “But you know that Huaisang and Xuanyu are leaving for their holiday early tomorrow morning so we decided to have your birthday celebration a little bit earlier.”

“I preferred it when we celebrated my birthday a week late,” Nie Mingjue grumbles even as he pulls Jiang Cheng in for a kiss.

“Liar,” Jiang Cheng whispers back and kisses Nie Mingjue again. “Happy birthday, my soul.”

“Good morning, my heart,” he gives back, still a bit unhappy with how this day is going but he guesses he has to make the best of it now. “Will we have dinner alone, then?” he asks because so far Jiang Cheng at least made sure to always spend one meal a day with Nie Mingjue alone.

“Yes. I will kick everyone out after cake, don’t worry. We’ll do dinner and a movie on the couch, with all the cuddles you could want.”

It feels a little bit like a consolation prize with how cold the bed was when Nie Mingjue woke up but he will take whatever he can get.

“Fine,” he finally heaves out because what else can he really say and Jiang Cheng laughs at him.

“Don’t even pretend to be a grump, I know you too well,” he teases him and flicks his forehead for good measure too.

“You’ll still have to make it up to me,” Nie Mingjue decides as he gets out of bed and Jiang Cheng raises an eyebrow at him in question.

“And how would I do that?” he wants to know and Nie Mingjue gives him a devilish grin as he leans down to give him a much more heated kiss.

“You’ll simply have to wake up in my arms for at least a month straight,” he then tells him and leaves Jiang Cheng right there on the bedside as he walks off to the bathroom to get himself ready for their guests.

And to wrap up his gift in a different way, now that his original plan has been ruined.

Nie Mingjue laughs out loud when he hears Jiang Cheng splutter behind him and he has to admit that this birthday is still good, simply because Jiang Cheng is right there with him.

~*~*~

The day itself is busy. Nie Huaisang and Mo Xuanyu come over for brunch but leave early in the afternoon because they still have some packing to do. Nie Mingjue’s friends arrive shortly before Nie Huaisang and Mo Xuanyu leave but true to his word, Jiang Cheng throws them all out an hour after cake.

Nie Mingjue watches it with a smile but he lets him do it because it is what was promised and Nie Mingjue is now actually looking forward to a relaxing evening with Jiang Cheng.

He loves his family and friends but these celebrations are always a bit too much for him, especially if they are this stretched out.

“Tired?” Jiang Cheng predictably asks when he comes back from kicking the last lingering friend out and finds Nie Mingjue on the couch, his head tilted back and his eyes closed.

“Yes,” Nie Mingjue easily says because admitting to these things is always easy with Jiang Cheng.

“Too much?” Jiang Cheng asks next and stands behind the couch, so he can scratch lightly at Nie Mingjue’s scalp.

“Mh, no, just right,” Nie Mingjue admits. “An hour longer though—” he trails off, trusting Jiang Cheng to understand what he means and when Jiang Cheng laughs, he knows he did.

“And you would have started to murder people, I get it,” he chuckles out and then leans over to press a kiss to Nie Mingjue’s forehead. “But no murder on your birthday. Only relaxing stuff for us now.”

“Are you going to cook?” Nie Mingjue asks, and he reaches up to grab Jiang Cheng by the forearms.

Suddenly the idea that Jiang Cheng will cook in the kitchen and Nie Mingjue is left with nothing to do but watch him seems like the worst idea ever.

“Nope,” Jiang Cheng cheerfully tells him and simply flips over the back of the couch when it becomes apparent that Nie Mingjue is not going to let him go. “I thought we order in today.”

“Good thinking,” Nie Mingjue hums out, leaning over to steal a kiss and then wrangles Jiang Cheng around until he’s arranged to his liking, mainly in Nie Mingjue’s arms and with no way to run off again.

“Clingy much?” Jiang Cheng teases him but Nie Mingjue only hums because Jiang Cheng is fooling no one. He went boneless the moment Nie Mingjue pulled him into his arms and so Nie Mingjue simply presses a kiss to his head.

They doze off like that on the couch for a while, and Nie Mingjue has to admit that this is still good; it’s not waking up with Jiang Cheng in bed levels of good, but it comes close, simply because they get to share this soft moment together.

And even though it has been a year Nie Mingjue hasn’t quite forgotten what happened on his last birthday, so when Jiang Cheng’s stomach grumbles and basically wakes them up, Nie Mingjue laughs.

“You’re so rude,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, pawing at him to try and get away, but Nie Mingjue is not going to let him.

“And you’re so starved,” he teases right back, leaning in for a kiss when Jiang Cheng pouts at him.

“I’ll truly be starved by the time dinner comes around,” he complains and Nie Mingjue shrugs.

“Get some more cake then?” he tells him even though he has no intention of letting Jiang Cheng out of his arms any time soon.

“First let’s order something,” Jiang Cheng decides, fishing for his phone.

He makes quick work of their order and doesn’t even bother to ask what Nie Mingjue would like; they both have their favourites at several different delivery places and Nie Mingjue is content to simply be surprised by dinner tonight.

“Now let go of me, I’ll starve for real,” Jiang Cheng then says as he puts the phone away and he tries to struggle out of Nie Mingjue’s arms whose intentions haven’t changed.

“Nope, you’ll have to live off my love for you for a while,” Nie Mingjue tells him with a laugh that only gets deeper when Jiang Cheng flops around like a fish.

“You’re ridiculous,” Nie Mingjue says when Jiang Cheng finally exhausted himself and Jiang Cheng blinks up at him.

“You love me,” he says and Nie Mingjue will probably never stop marvelling at the fact that Jiang Cheng doesn’t doubt this at all.

It makes Nie Mingjue very proud to know that he loves Jiang Cheng well enough that none of Jiang Cheng’s insecurities can ruin this.

“That I do,” Nie Mingjue immediately says and drops a kiss to Jiang Cheng’s nose.

They get lost in trading kisses until it rings at their door and even the sweet promise of food is almost not enough to lure Jiang Cheng away from Nie Mingjue.

“Weren’t you starving?” he finally asks when Jiang Cheng makes no move to open the door and that finally prompts Jiang Cheng to get up.

“I was living off your love,” he throws over his shoulder even as he goes to retrieve their food and Nie Mingjue takes that little window of opportunity to dart into the bedroom to get his gift.

The gift giving part of the day is already over, but Nie Mingjue didn’t want to do this with everyone else around; this is just for him and Jiang Cheng, at least for today.

He makes a detour through the kitchen to bring supplies to the living-room and when he comes back Jiang Cheng is already unloading their food on the table.

“Do you know what you want to watch?” Jiang Cheng asks him as he works, not sparing a glance for Nie Mingjue.

“Yep,” Nie Mingjue says, even though a movie is very far from his mind right now and when Jiang Cheng expectantly turns around to him, he slips the gift onto Jiang Cheng’s plate.

He’s of course not fast enough to escape Jiang Cheng’s notice, so he immediately turns around to look at what Nie Mingjue just did.

“What the hell is this?” Jiang Cheng demands to know, crossing his arms in front of his chest and Nie Mingjue sits down on the couch, pretending that his heart isn’t about to beat out of his chest.

“What does it look like?” he innocently gives back and Jiang Cheng narrows his eyes at him.

“Like a goddamn present.”

“Then that’s probably what it is,” Nie Mingjue teasingly says and doesn’t shrink back under Jiang Cheng’s glare.

“It’s your birthday. Why the hell am I getting a gift?”

“It is, technically, a gift for me,” Nie Mingjue says and now the glare melts off Jiang Cheng’s face to turn into a confused frown.

“But I’m the one who’s supposed to open it?”

“Yes.”

“Mh,” Jiang Cheng hums out and gingerly picks the wrapped gift up.

He tries to shake it to see if it rattles and he seems surprised when it does.

“Am I going to break it?”

“I don’t know. Are you?” Nie Mingjue laughs out when Jiang Cheng continues to poke at it instead of opening it up but finally he rips the wrapping paper apart.

He is met with a cardboard box Nie Mingjue found lying around in their bedroom this morning and it clearly does nothing to solve his confusion.

“What the hell is this?” he breathes out again, working on getting the box open and Nie Mingjue leans forward in anticipation.

It seems as if Jiang Cheng’s impatience finally won out because he rips the box open the last bit and then he immediately freezes.

And Nie Mingjue slides off the couch, onto one knee.

“My heart,” he starts as he reaches into the box to get the little black box out and it seems as just that is enough to make Jiang Cheng cry.

“Yes,” he gets out, his voice all choked up and Nie Mingjue laughs.

“I didn’t even say anything yet, don’t be so impatient,” he chides him but he catches Jiang Cheng’s hand in his to press a kiss to his fingers.

“My heart,” he repeats. “Will you give me the greatest birthday gift of them all and marry me?” he then asks and flicks the box open to reveal a ring.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Jiang Cheng chants out, tearing his gaze away from the ring and cupping Nie Mingjue’s face in his hands. “I will marry you, my soul,” he whispers and when he leans in to kiss Nie Mingjue the tears spill over.

“Best birthday ever,” Nie Mingjue mumbles when they part and he takes that opportunity to slide the ring on Jiang Cheng’s finger.

“Best birthday ever,” Jiang Cheng agrees, marvelling at the ring now on his hand and Nie Mingjue isn’t sure if he’s ever seen him smiling so much.

But to be fair, he isn’t sure if he’s ever smiled so much in his life before either.

“I love you,” Jiang Cheng tells him, intertwining their fingers and Nie Mingjue feels as if he’s going to melt with all the love he has for this man.

“I love you,” he gives back even though that should be pretty much obvious by now and then he pulls Jiang Cheng in for a kiss.

Their food is—yet again—cold by the time they manage to part enough to remember it but Nie Mingjue thinks if this is the tradition they are going to set for his birthday then he’s not going to mind that much.

Not if being incandescently happy comes right along with that.

#bt writes #mingcheng #mdzs #jiang cheng #nie mingjue #established relationship #modern au #fluff #cuddling and snuggling #marriage proposal

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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 5 months

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So I’ve been meaning to ramble about the beauty of four walls for so long now but am only just getting round it so i really apologise because the amount I’ve enjoyed reading every chapter and just the pleasure the story has bought me I should’ve been leaving huge appreciation on every chapter. You’re so talented.

I’m just gonna start by saying that four walls is one of, if not the most, thought provoking and intimate things I’ve ever read. I don’t really have the vocab to explain what it is about it, but the way you portray emotions and just the delicacy of every situation, especially in chapter 8 where they finally get together, is just something else. There’s this underlying yearning and carefulness in each chapter that’s just so realistic, and seeing it written down and feeling that ache in my chest whenever something you’ve written just encapsulates that so perfectly is just heaven.

Also the way you depict insecurity ;-; Alex thinking miles is suddenly going to start looking at him differently. And that possessiveness of miles and confusion he feels about Suzy because she’s more than just a fling and is in Miles’ personal space and bubble that Alex sees as his but now includes her. I just can’t because it’s so relatable and written SO PERFECTLY.

And the little details? THE LITTLE DETAILS! These tiny bits of intimacy like the mixed jackets and the shoes next to the door and the description of miles’ belt buckle and how it moves with his breathing is just- omg. And the little addition of Alex always trying to unlock each door with the wrong set of keys? And the ‘where’s home’ ‘here’ ’me too’? SOBBING. It’s honestly a little scary how perfectly you depict that kind of lostness that can be common for people who are constantly moving about and find that security in that one person who’s always been their person no matter where they are. Sometimes I really think you must just be one of them writing their actual story just pretending it’s fanfic xD

And the nerves, and that doubt, like even though Alex must know deep deep down that miles feels the same he just needs to provoke it until Miles breaks and he can be sure. And that ‘c’mon al, it’s never just you, is it?’ That miles says because it’s just them, on the same wavelength, overthinking themselves into being convinced the other doesn’t want them. And the HURT omfg the hurt. Miles thinking Alex is just pushing to see what happens and to get his own way like again I can’t explain how incredibly you do that and how realistically you portray it and without seeing inside Alex’s mind it does seem like that’s exactly what he’s doing. But Miles’ perception of him vs the way Alex sees him as home (like ‘just the two of them alone in the room Alex most often sees when he closes his eyes to escape other rooms’)just ASGDKFLFOENDB. Babies.

I’m really really late going somewhere and this isn’t nearly the appreciation I want to show for you or four walls, nor is it anywhere close to highlighting all the things that are just phenomenal about the way you write and portray these characters. But the way you write has honestly introduced me to this whole new world of how characters emotion’s should look, and how it’s this simmering beneath the surface that you do absolutely incredibly that makes the characters so much deeper and more vulnerable and just perfection

So thank you so so much, honestly love this story and your writing beyond belief <3333333

hii 💖 oh my GOD where to start??? this is so unbelievably, UNBELIEVABLY lovely i don't even know what to say 😭😭 genuinely, i can't even begin to tell you how much this made my day (scratch that. my whole WEEK) when it popped up in my inbox 🥺

writing four walls over the past year has brought me so much joy, so to hear that this little world i've created has been bringing other people joy too is truly the most special feeling in the world ✨💫

your kind words about how i portray emotions and inner workings is just - god, i don't even know what to say 🥺 that's always been one of my favourite things about writing, but when you immerse yourself in a character's headspace as much as i have with alex in this fic, it can also make it really challenging. like i definitely spend a LOT of time going back and forth and worrying that i haven't got it quite right to make sense for his character, or that i've spent too much time on the introspective side of things vs dialogue. so yeah - to hear that when you're reading it all the emotions feel that real?? aghhhhh. that's everything i could possibly want and makes all the challenges of writing it feel TOTALLY worthwhile 💗 (also, i love that you feel that ache in your chest when you're reading, because that's what i feel when i'm writing them in this fic too 🥺)

i'm also so glad you think all of alex's feelings of jealousy/insecurity around suzy work - that's been something i've really enjoyed writing actually, it feels like her presence is (slowly 🤦‍♀️) helping him unlock a lot of doors that it might have taken him a lot longer to notice otherwise! it's been really interesting to write that dynamic.

AHHHHH as i'm sure you can tell, i'm an absolute sucker for little details, so it makes me SO HAPPY that you enjoy all those elements of the fic 💗 also all your comments about chapter eight specifically and how everything unfolded there have made my heart absolutely sing 🥹 i was actually really nervous about sharing that chapter and worried that it wouldn't measure up, so hearing your lovely words about that scene is just - thank you 🥺 it truly means so much💖

honestly it's not the first time someone has said that they think i must be either alex or miles writing this, and each time i hear it it just leaves me speechless because that is just the BIGGEST compliment ever??? 😭 obviously we only get glimpses of what they're like from interviews, lyrics etc - but they have *such* a special dynamic and are such fascinating people, so to feel like i've managed to capture even a semblance of who they are is truly so special, thank you 💗

i'm going to stop flailing at you in a moment because i feel like i've rambled on quite long enough now, but this: "the way you write has honestly introduced me to this whole new world of how character's emotions should look" THIS??? this has to be one of my favourite things someone has ever said about my writing 🥺 i want to print it out on a post-it note and stick it above my desk ✨

thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful and generous comment - i truly can't begin to tell you what a gift feedback like this is, and how much it inspires me and keeps me going through the tougher moments of writing 🙏 you also sent it at a time where i'd been struggling particularly with self-criticism and doubt around the chapter i'm currently writing, and honestly reading all your kind words just restored so much confidence and joy in my writing. thank you so very much, i'm wishing you the most wonderful day and sending all the best vibes your way 💜💜💜

(PS the next chapter is nearly ready now! 💖)

#sorry it took me a couple days to reply to this!#i wanted to wait until i had the time to sit down properly and give it the attention it deserves 💗#thank you for being such an utterly lovely human 🥺#asks #four walls

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choiraugur · 6 months

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So you've mentioned that you like all the Soulsborne games, not just Bloodborne, but which Soulsborne was your first exposure to the series? What made you want to check them all out, and what is your favorite thing about them (each individually or in general as they also have reoccurring themes? nobody trolls people in power like they do xd) .

Also I can't forget you asking me about Creighton so I assume you like DS2 as well (rare but huge W in these trying times vvhjgjjg). Who are your DS2 favs? 🌛

I need you to know that I had to pause for like one hour after getting this ask because I got so excited to respond to it that I couldn’t think straight enough to properly manage a reply with actual words. in fact what I’ve written down here isn’t as eloquent or articulate as id want it to be but. autism works in funny ways so the best I can do rn is say words and giggle to myself with glee

im putting the reply under a cut bc it’s long af also lmao

the first dark souls was my initial exposure to the series as a whole! I got into it some years ago but I don’t think I was as invested in it then as I am now. I’ve always loved the themes of the series and the gameplay was, despite all the frustration, very fun and engaging so I wanted to check out more souls games after it. Dsi remains my favourite game of all time along with bloodborne btw! I would blame it on nostalgia but honestly the game really does have so much to offer. dark souls i meatriding is very cliche but there’s a good reason for that yk. Nothing teaches you patience like dark souls. (this game also has one of my two favourite characters of all time, gwyndolin! they managed to create a transgender allegory that speaks so closely to me- from familial expectations to the desire to be seen and recognised by the family that constantly neglects you and shames you for your very existence to the point where your identity ceases to exist because you are trying so desperately to belong. you try to forge yourself into the perfect shape but the core of the problem lies not in the shape of your identity, but your very existence. the unending cultist devotion to the people who made your life hell because this is all you have. I love gwyndolin so much)

I moved to dark souls ii after and honestly loved it (and still love it) very much. I feel like people give it too much shit and criticise it too quickly because of its reputation, which is a shame because it has so much to offer. The lore is so rich and the gameplay can get so fun if you just give it a chance. I agree that the start is difficult, but isn’t this true with every new fromsoft game you play? The thing I really love about soulsborne games is that there is a learning curve. Absolutely anybody can finish these games even if they are a terrible gamer because of the fact there is a learning curve. And sure it’s a frustrating one a lot of the time, but when you get comfortable enough with the mechanics and become more confident in playing, the experience becomes so so fun and rewarding. The estus problems people always complain about at the beginning of the game honestly stop being a noticeable issue after you discover items that help you replace this bother. I can 100% see why somebody would dislike dsii because it unfortunately went through developement hell, but I do believe that 98% of the time people judge this game too quickly and too harshly just because of the negative reputation it has. It sucks that they don’t give it a chance. I’ve seen so many people have an opinion on it (always a bleak one) without even playing it themselves also which is so dumb. At least play it man. Idk. It gets the second-installation-in-a-series curse I guess. dsii fans need to stick together and call it the best game oat to piss everyone else off

i got into bloodborne after dsi and dsii, i think I started playing bloodborne in mid 2021? Not that long ago but it has been my absolute favourite thing in the world ever since. SO much about it has kept me around because it manages to cater to so many of my general special interests lol. I’ve always loved cosmic horror and the victorian era of medicine. religion (and how those in power can use religion to control the masses) is another thing i always end up getting fixated on, so bloodborne was just the perfect thing for me. I love the themes! And characters! And designs! And gameplay mechanics! The world building! Everything is so so good. The thing that has mainly kept me around so intensely is how important exploration and personal interpretation is with this game. this is honestly my favourite thing about all spulsborne games actually- fromsoft never gives you any direct answers, and we are still finding new things about bloodborne several years after its release which is insane. It has just an endless amount of things to offer, I can’t say ENOUGH about it. I could write pages upon pages on why I love bloodborne so much, it’s difficult to keep my answer here concise. All I can say is it consumes my every thought every second of the day. Very good.

Dsiii was the last soulsborne game i got into (not fromsoft tho, that was elden ring, which i somehow only got into on august of 2023) i love dsiii because i love the dark souls series so so much in general, but for some reason it’s my least favourite out of all spulsborne games. The story and bosses are all super cool and i loved the conclusion it provided for the series, but it’s the one i find the least entertaining? or not the least entertaining, but it’s the one I think about the least. maybe it’s because i still kind of experience it as a. second version of bloodborne since i played bloodborne before ds3 lol. which is an unfair judgement but I can’t let go of that feeling it gives me for some reason. great game but I end up fixating more on the others fsr

navlaan is my favourite character in ds2 also! i love a little fucked up sorcerer. I need more grey thinking. good and bad mean nothing in the name of acquiring knowledge. nuance is required to understand navlaan and its why I often avoid reading stuff about him lol.

I’m realising my response to your ask focuses more on just my personal experience with the games rather than what it is within them that I love, I didn’t really get into detail about that at all lol but. I already said so much 💀

#i put the yap in um. in uh. Idk i just love to yap #asks

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once-upon-an-imagine · 2 years

Text

Hanging By A Moment (Chapter Seven) - Charlie Weasley

A/N: aaahhhh! oh my God! I honestly don’t know how I managed to do this! I really wanted to post it on Christmas and HERE IT IS! I really hope you loves enjoy it! Happy Holidays, everyone!

Prompt List

Warning: none :3 also this is ridiculously long, sorry xD

Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter :) gif isn’t mine :D

Your name: submit What is this?

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Hanging By A Moment

Desperate for changing Starving for truth I'm closer to where I started I'm chasing after you

“Well, someone looks particularly cheerful this morning” Oliver smirked when you entered the room as he and Percy sat up on the bed. “Care to share why?”

“Because… it’s Christmas?” you smiled. “Were you two… waiting for me?”

“I did not come out to my brother for you two to confess your feelings to each other and then have you not telling me anything bout it” Percy told you, making you laugh a bit.

“So?” Oliver said, patting the spot in front of him so you would take a seat.

“We’re not talking about feelings” you rolled your eyes, sitting on the bed.

“Yes, we most definitely are!” Percy argued. “We want to know what he said-”

“What you said-”

“What happened-”

“Did you have sex?”

“OLIVER!” Percy slapped his arm. “I don’t want to know that!”

“Yes, because I’m going to have sex with Charlie for the first time in the living room where any other Weasley or you could walk in at any moment” you laughed.

“Fair point” Oliver nodded. “So, did he say he loved you?”

“Did you say you loved him?”

“Oh, Merlin-”

Before either one of you could say anything else, the door opened, and Percy quickly pushed Oliver off the bed, making him fall to the floor. You tried not to laugh when you saw a very confused Charlie at the door and you quickly stood back up.

“What is it with you two throwing me off the bed?” Oliver said as he appeared from the other side of the bed. “Charlie!” he said, smiling excitedly.

“Wood” he nodded.

“I hear congratulations are in order” he smirked.

“Oliver!” you snapped, feeling your cheeks burning.

“Same to you” Charlie smiled as Oliver stood up and sat next to Percy again.

“What are you doing here, Charlie?” Percy asked, blushing a little when Oliver kissed his cheek.

“Um… you forgot your glasses” he said, smiling at you.

“Oh” you smiled, standing up and walking closer to them before he handed them to you and kissed your head. “Thank you.”

“We were just talking about last night” Oliver said, smirking.

“Oh, Merlin” you muttered, hiding your face behind your hand.

“We were just curious to know what happened after I left you two alone” Percy continued. “That it took so long for someone to come back” he added.

“Are they always like this?” Charlie asked, looking at you.

“Yes” you nodded. “They can be worse though” you suggested.

“Hey!” Oliver argued. “We are just looking out for you!”

“Yes, we want to know what your intentions are with our dear friend” Percy said, smirking at his brother who was throwing daggers at him.

“You want me to hit you on the face with a Quaffle again, Perce?” Charlie snarled back wrapping his arm around your shoulders and bringing you closer.

Percy was about to reply when you all heard the door knob starting to turn and Percy pushed Oliver again as you did the same with Charlie.

Bill stood at the door, looking extremely confused between the four of you. “What?”

“What, what?” you asked, smiling innocently at him. He just arched his eyebrow, knowing something was going on but had no idea what and why Charlie knew about it but he didn’t. “Uh… can I burrow (Y/N) for a moment?”

“Actually-” Percy started.

“Yes!” you happily said, grabbing Bill’s arm and dragging him out of the room with you.

“So…” Oliver said, getting up from the floor again and smirking at Charlie. “Where were we?”

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Charlie had been trying all morning to find you and spend at least a moment alone with you. If he wasn’t able to stop thinking about you before, now, knowing that you were not with Percy and you returned his feelings, it was nearly impossible. You were driving him mad. And every time he was close to getting you alone, one of his siblings came over to take you away. Like Bill this morning, Merlin knows why. And then Ginny pulled you away to ask for help on what she should wear for dinner tonight. The twins had dragged you away saying they wanted you to look at some pranks plans. And now, he found you in the living room with his mother and Fleur, kitting. Or at least you were trying to.

“Uh- what is going on?” he asked, extremely confused.

“Oh, Charlie” Molly smiled. “I was just teaching the girls to knit” she explained. Charlie turned to look at you and Fleur who smiled at him. Fleur’s scarf was actually looking decent, but he tried his best to not laugh at yours. “I’m gonna go get us some tea” she said, smiling.

“Oh, let me help you, Mrs. Weasley” Fleur said, putting down the scarf and following her.

“Hi, Charlie” you smiled brightly up at him.

“Why are you knitting with Fleur and my mum?” he asked, sitting down on the coffee table in front of you.

“Oh, well, Bill told me about him” you stopped before you looked around first, and then you came back to Charlie. “Wanting to propose to Fleur” you whispered.

“He told you?!”

“Yes! He asked me for help on how to propose! Isn’t it exciting?”

“How come he didn’t ask me for help?” he complained.

“Maybe because when he did you suggested Bill flying in on a dragon to surprise her” you smirked.

“Well, everything is better with dragons!” he argued.

“I agree, but I think he wants something more low-key, lo-o- I mean, Charlie” you smiled nervously.

“Were you just going to call me ‘love’? He smirked.

“N-no” you said, feeling your cheeks burning and going back to your scarf.

“Because I wouldn’t mind that at all, love” he said, placing his index finger under your chin and lifting your face so you could see him.

“R-really?” you asked, excitedly.

“Yes” he said, making sure nobody was around. “And that still doesn’t explain the knitting” he told you.

“Right! W-well, he also mentioned that your mum doesn’t really get along with Fleur-”

“That’s an understatement” he muttered.

“H said he’s a bit nervous about the whole thing. So I thought it would be a good idea if your mum gets to know Fleur and I told her we were both interested in knitting and asked if she could teach us” you said, showing him your attempt at a scarf, proudly. “Although I may have not thought that through” you chuckled.

“Is your plan to be horrible at knitting so Fleur’s doesn’t look as bad?” he asked, trying not to laugh.

“Hey!” you said, offended, slapping his arm playfully. “It’s harder than it looks, okay?! I don’t suppose you can do any better!”

“Oh really?” he asked, arching his eyebrow.

“Yes!”

“What do I win if I can do better?” he asked, grabbing the needles from your hands.

“Ha!” you laughed, grabbing one of the cookies you had baked with Fleur and Ginny the previous day. “Whatever you want, love” you said before taking a bite.

“Really?” he asked, looking at your bottom lip with a smudge of melted chocolate on it. “Anything?”

“Mhm” you said, taking another bite of the cookie.

“Fine, I want some of those chocolate cookies” he simply said before he began to knit.

“That’s it?” you asked confused with frowned eyebrows.

“Yeah” he shrugged.

“Fine” you said, sitting back. “Let’s see what you got, Weasley” you smiled.

“Well, look who it is” Oliver said, entering the living room. “Two of my favorite people in this house” he smiled, leaning against the sofa behind you. “What’s going on here?”

“Nothing” you quickly said.

“Nothing” Charlie said at the same time.

“Uh-huh, looks like I’m not the only one having trouble keeping my hands to myself anymore” he whispered to you.

“Believe me you never were” you replied.

“Oh, you have some chocolate of that cookie on your lip, honey” Oliver said, pointing at his bottom lip, just before Mrs. Weasley and Fleur came back from the kitchen.

“Thanks, Ollie” you said, grabbing a napkin, your eyes suddenly widening at the realization when you looked up at Charlie and he was smirking more than before as he winked at you.

“Charles!” you whispered, slapping his arm again.

“You said I could have anything I wanted” he said, innocently.

“Oh, hello, Oliver, come join us” Molly greeted him before she sat down next to her son. “Hey, Charlie, do you know what I was thinking-? What are you doing?” she asked, looking at him, knitting your scarf.

“Well, it looked like she needed some help here” he told her.

“I thought I was doing just fine, thank you” you glared at Charlie.

“Oh, well if anyone can help you, it’s Charlie” Mrs. Weasley said, taking her seat. “He’s my best student so far” she smiled.

“Wait- stu-?” you asked, confused. “You tricked me!” you glared at the redhead.

“I did no such thing, you just assumed I was bad at knitting” he said as he easily fixed your scarf.

“Anyways, as I was saying, Charlie, since you still have a couple of days off after new years, why don’t you go visit Tonks? Or ask her to come visit?” Molly asked, smiling.

“Mum!”

“Tonks? From school? I remember her! She was awesome!” Oliver said, grabbing a cookie from you. “(Y/N), you would love her!”

“Oh, she is wonderful! And I have always said-”

“Mum!” Charlie repeated.

“That she and Charlie would make a great couple!” Molly finished, making you choke on your tea a little.

“Are you alright, there?” Oliver said, pulling you closer to him as you glared in his direction.

“Fine” you said, composing yourself.

“Mum, I have told you a million times that Tonks and I are just friends” Charlie said, rolling his eyes.

“Well, someone else then? I just want you to be happy. Look at your brothers, they found someone that makes them so happy” she said, looking at you and Fleur. Fleur turned to look at you trying to contain her smile and you were so happy for her, you completely ignored the way Charlie was eyeing you. “And I want you to have the same thing. I don’t want you to be alone” she continued. “What is it that you’re looking for in a partner, Charlie?”

“Yes, what is it that you’re looking for in a partner, Charles?” Oliver smirked at him as the redhead blushed and glared at him.

“Well, you and Tonks used to be inseparable back in school, I always thought you two would end up together. Not to mention she was really pretty, just like her mother, until she decided to have her hair pink” Molly kept ranting on. “I just wish you would find someone who makes you just as happy” she insisted.

“Hey, (Y/N), could I borrow you for a minute?” you heard Percy’s voice coming inside the room.

“Oh, thank Merlin! Yes!” you said, quickly getting up.

“Wait!” Charlie and Fleur said at the same time but you ignored both of them, and Oliver’s amused look on his face, as you made your way out of the room.

“Are you alright? It seemed a bit tense in there” he asked you.

“No, it’s fine, your mum was telling Charlie that he should invite a girl named Tonks for new years” you told him.

“Oh, Tonks? She’s awesome! You would love her!”

“That’s funny! Oliver said the same thing” you smiled. “Everyone seems to love her” you said.

“Are you… jealous?” Percy asked, smirking.

“What? No!” you laughed, nervously. “Don’t be ridiculous, Perce, just because Charlie and I kissed yesterday-”

“I knew it!” he said, excitedly.

“Shhh! Shut up!” you whispered as you reached Percy’s room.

“Relax, Charlie and Tonks are best friends!” Percy laughed. “They have as much romantic chemistry as you and I” he told you.

“Percy, it’s fine. It’s not like Charlie’s mine or anything. And I don’t care if your mum just thinks that she’s perfect for him, really. It would be incredibly pretentious of me to-”

“You know what you sound like?”

“What?”

“Like me when Ollie had a new team member that was very handsome” he laughed.

“I do not!” you complained. “And besides, Ollie is your boyfriend so it would be normal if you felt-”

“It’s also normal to feel like that when you’re in love with someone” he snickered.

“What exactly did you call me in here for?” you said, changing the subject.

“Right, well um… I was thinking about… telling my parents tonight” he said, turning serious.

“You- WHAT? And you let me ramble on about this stupid nonsense?”

“It’s not really nonsense-”

“Yes, it is! Perce, this is huge!” you told him. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah” he sighed. “I think I’m ready” he nodded.

“Oh, Perce! I’m so happy for you!” you said, hugging him before you two got interrupted when the door opened and Bill stood there again, just like this morning.

“What?” he asked, confused as the two of you looked at him.

“What, what?” you asked, again, smiling at him and he rolled his eyes.

“I think you’re spending an awful lot of time with the twins” he glared at you.

“I was just about to say the same thing!” Percy told his older brother.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“Are you avoiding me?” you heard Charlie’s voice behind you.

“What? No, I’m not!” you argued, looking at him.

“Is that why you’re hiding here in the attic?” he smiled.

“I’m not hiding” you told him. “I was just… looking for something to help the twins with one of their inventions” you said.

“I know, as soon as I entered their room, you volunteered yourself and ran away to the attic” he said, getting closer to you.

“I thought you didn’t like confined spaces” you said, hoping he would leave.

“I don’t but this is the only place where I can get to talk to you without you running away from me or my siblings coming to steal you away” he replied. “Is it about what my mum said?”

“About what-? What do you mean? I can barely remember the conversation with your mum-”

“Love” he said, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Yes?”

“You’re rambling” he smiled. “And you’re adorable when you’re jealous” he said, his smile turning into a smirk that you had come to love so much.

“I’m not jealous!” you pouted.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Take that smug smirk off your face! How dare you say that I am jealous of someone that I don’t even know! Who Ollie and Percy both seem to love so much! And your mother!”

“Is… that what this is about?”

“And she sounds so cool! I mean she has pink hair for Merlin’s sake!”

“Wait, are you jealous about what my mother said about me and Tonks? Or are you jealous that you don’t know her?”

“Well… both can be true” you aid, stubbornly. “Except for the first one because it’s not like we’re in a relationship and I have any right to be-”

You were cut off by Charlie pulling you closer to him and kissing you. You were about to push yourself away from him but you honestly couldn’t and didn’t want you. You had no idea how he could just make you melt in his arms this easily. This had never happened to you before. And you knew he and Percy were right. You were jealous. Of course, you would be jealous of Mrs. Weasley thinking there was someone out there perfect for Charlie. You had seen how he was with Fleur. And you knew how much her sons valued her opinion. So, of course, you got jealous.

“You are fucking adorable” Charlie said, once you two pulled away. “Listen to me, Tonks is my best friend since we were eleven years old. I am as attracted to her as much as Percy is attracted to you” he said.

“Percy said the same thing, actually-”

“And, I was actually going to ask you if you wanted to spend those days my mum mentioned… with me?” he asked, clearing his throat, nervously. “Percy said, you are also free and I thought I could… take you out on a date or something-”

“R-really?” you asked, smiling brightly at him.

“Yes, I mean, if you wanted to-”

You interrupted him now, by giving him another kiss.

“I’d love to” you smiled at him.

“Really?”

“Yes” you assured him.

“Brilliant! I’ll be able to get my prize then” he said, making you frown in confusion before he grabbed something from behind him and showed you the scarf you were knitting. “Here” he said, putting it around your neck. “I thought you should have it” he smiled.

“I still think you tricked me somehow” you said before giving him a peck on the lips. “But this is a beautiful scarf, so I’ll see what I can do” you smiled, kissing him again.

“(Y/N)!” you heard Ginny’s voice downstairs.

“Oh, I have to go, Ginny asked me if I could help her get ready for tonight” you smiled as Charlie tightened his arms around you and started making his way down to your neck with kisses.

“What? Why?”

“Because she wants to look pretty because she has a crush on Harry” you informed him and he instantly stopped.

“No! She does not!”

“You’re adorable” you smiled, kissing him again.

“Why has my entire family been stealing you away from me all day?” he asked, going back to kissing you.

“Technically they’re taking me away from Percy” you said, trying to unglue yourself from him as you heard Ginny yell for you again. “Charlie, I have to go” you chuckled as he started kissing you again.

“So, go” he said, not letting go of you.

“I… kind of need you to let me go for that” you said.

“It’s not fair! All of my siblings have had you more time than me today” he pouted and you laughed, kissing him.

“That’s not true” you assured him.

“I haven’t played chess with Ron yet” you said, managing to get free and leave the attic.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The Christmas big celebration was set up beautifully. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt this happy at Christmas. Since your mother passed away, you rarely celebrated it with your father. Even less when he got married again. So having a big, loud, loving family around you brought an entirely beautiful warmth to your heart. You found yourself sitting across from Charlie, who was in deep conversation about something with Harry and Oliver, probably about Quidditch, and you just stared at him. Every time you looked at him you felt your entire heart flutter. You had never felt this way about anyone and, even if you were frightened, you were also excited.

“Hey” you heard Percy to your left as he held your hand, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“You’re gonna make a bloody comment about me drooling over Charlie, aren’t you?” you whispered to him.

“No” he smiled. “I was actually going to say sorry” he said, surprising you.

“What? Why?”

“Well, I know what it’s like to be near the person that you love-”

“I never said I loved Charlie” you whispered.

“Not to me, maybe” Percy smirked. “But I know what it feels like to not be able to hug him and kiss him whenever you want and just… act like a couple, like Bill and Fleur” he said, nodding his head towards his oldest brother with his arm around Fleur as she rested her head on his shoulder and he kissed her temple. “It’s not fair to Oliver either” he told you.

“So, you’re really doing this?”

“I’m really doing this” he said after taking a deep breath.

“For the record, I know it will be fine, Perce. But whatever happens, I’m here for you” you said, kissing his cheek.

“Thank you” he smiled nervously back at you.

“Oh, before I forget” Molly said, getting up and handing a small package to you, another one to Fleur, and another one to Oliver. “I know we said we would eat first and then presents but I have something for you three to wear” she smiled as the three of you exchanged looks. “Well, open them!”

You quickly opened your present and took out a beautiful jumper. Your own Christmas jumper made by Mrs. Weasley. On your favorite color and with your initial on the front. Both Charlie and Percy had told you that their mother would probably get you one. But it was one thing to know that, and another one to actually get it. You couldn’t remember how long it had been since you felt part of a family.

“Thank you so much, Mrs. Weasley!” Fleur said, also feeling excited that things were better with Bill’s family.

“I thought you should each have your own” Mrs. Weasley said.

“Thank you Mrs. Weasley” you managed to say before your voice would break. Charlie smiled at you from across the table and you managed to smile back at him.

“I uh-” you saw Oliver stutter, feeling tears in his eyes. “Why do I get one-?”

“Oh, Oliver, please. You’re as much part of this family as everyone else” she smiled at him.

“Are you alright, son?” Arthur asked, noticing how upset Oliver was.

“Oh, I uh-” he said, composing himself and drying the few tears he shed. “I am, sir. I’m sorry, I just-”

“Kids, give us a minute” Mrs. Weasley said, looking at her children at the end of the table.

“What? Why?” the twins complained. “What did we do?”

“You’re pulling at the last thread of my patience” she complained. “Now scatter!”

Fred, George, Ron, Ginny, and Harry stood up without any more complaining and walked out of the living room.

“Um, Bill, we should maybe leave too” Fleur said, getting up and pulling her boyfriend with him.

“What? Us too?” Bill argued, getting up and pointing at you. “How come she gets to stay?”

“Charlie” Mrs. Weasley started.

“He can stay” Percy nodded and Charlie smiled triumphantly, taking another spoonful of food.

“I’m sorry” Oliver said. “I don’t know if Percy told you but… the reason why I’m here it’s because… my parents said they don’t want to see me again and… I didn’t have anywhere else to go so, Percy said I could come here, and for everyone to just… treat me as part of the family” he smiled.

“Oh, sweetheart” Mrs. Weasley said, getting up from her seat and walking over to him. “Move over, Charles” she said pushing her son out of the chair so she could seat next to Oliver. “I am so sorry, Oliver” she said, hugging him to her.

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make tonight about myself” he said. “I just… felt a bit overwhelmed I guess” he explained.

“Oh, there’s no need to apologize. We are happy that you’re here, Oliver” Molly told him.

“Why did your parents say that, son?” Arthur asked him.

“Arthur!” Mrs. Weasley snapped.

“Dad!” Percy snapped at the same time.

“No, it’s okay” Oliver assured them. “Um, it’s because I’m gay” he smiled nervously.

“You told your parents and then they said they didn’t want to see you again?” Mr. Weasley asked, looking extremely confused.

“Yes” Oliver nodded as Mrs. Weasley wrapped him in a big hug.

“Oh my dear, boy, I am so sorry” she said, kissing his head. “But you will always have a home with us” she said, smiling warmly at him.

“Thank you, Mrs. Weasley” Oliver smiled. “That means a lot to me” he said, hugging her again.

“Uh… mum” Percy said all of a sudden and everyone turned to look at him.

“Percy! How could you not tell us?” Molly complained. “Oliver is like part of the family!”

“I know, that’s why uh-”

“I am happy that you invited him, but you should know better!”

“Mum!” Percy said, getting up and nervously looking around. “I uh- I have something to say” he mumbled.

“Darling, speak up” Molly told him.

“I’m gay too!” he blurted out. His parents just stared at him and you saw his hand shaking so you took it. “I didn’t know how to tell you and… when dad asked about (Y/N) I said she was my girlfriend and then I asked her to come here and pretend to be my girlfriend” he explained. “I’m sorry I lied but I was just… scared to tell you the truth” he admitted.

“Percy!” Molly said standing up and walking around the table to her third son. “Why didn’t you tell us, love?”

“I’m sorry, mum, I- I wasn’t sure how. I was afraid about how you would react and-”

“Oh, my boy!” she said, hugging him to her. “I am so happy for you!”

“You are?” Percy asked confused.

“Of course, I am! I just want you to be happy and, like I said, we love Oliver like his part of the family, so if he makes you happy, that’s all that matters” she smiled, placing his face between her hands and leaning him down to kiss his forehead. “I love you, Percy” she smiled.

“I love you too, mum” he smiled back.

“Oh, darling” she said, pulling away and sitting next to you. “Thank you for caring so much for my Percy” she told you. “I want you to know that you are still part of this family, love” she said, smiling at you.

“Thank you, Mrs. Weasley” you said, clutching your sweater to your chest. “That means a lot to me” you smiled.

“Although I must confess, I loved knowing that one of my sons had someone as wonderful as you” she admitted.

“Well, funny story-” Percy intervened.

“Percy, I will rip your tongue out” you smiled with clenched teeth.

“I was thinking about setting her up with-” he smiled, completely ignoring you, and being hit with a roll of bred on his face. “Charlie!”

“Oh, what a wonderful idea, you’re not seeing anybody, are you?” Molly asked you.

“Um-” you chuckled.

“Mum!” Charlie said, walking over to you.

“Molly, dear, I think this is something that they can do on their own” Arthur said, getting up and walking over to his wife. “Why don’t we go join the kids and get ready for presents? Let’s give them a moment” he said, pulling her away.

“Oh, alright, but I just want them to know that they would look just as adorable as Percy and Oliver!” she said as she walked out of the dining room.

“Well, I hope that felt good because now I’m gonna kill you” Charlie glared at his younger brother.

“What? It’s not like you’re not already together” Percy smirked as Oliver walked over and hugged him.

“How do you feel, love?” Oliver asked him.

“Like an enormous weight being lifted off my shoulders” he sighed.

“I’m proud of you, Perce” you smiled, hugging him too.

“Me too” Charlie admitted. “Even if you now passed the obsession of mum to us” he rolled his eyes.

“Ready to tell everyone else?” he asked Oliver.

“Really?”

“Yeah” he said, excitedly. “That is if the twins didn’t just hear everything with their extendable ears” he said.

“They didn’t” you said, taking them out of your pocket and smiling at him.

“I love you” Percy said, kissing your head before all four of you walked into the living room where everyone was gathered already exchanging presents. Fleur was already wearing her jumper, as was everyone else, so the four of you did the same.

“Um guys, I have something I’d like to tell all of you” Percy said, standing at the entrance and holding Oliver’s hand but nobody seemed to quiet down until he continued. “(Y/N)’s not my girlfriend” he said and the room went silent. Something that was very unusual in the Weasley home.

"We knew it!” you heard the twins say. “She's too pretty for you!"

“Shut up!” Percy glared at them. “Oliver's my boyfriend" he said, smiling at Oliver.

"What? He's too handsome for you!” you heard the twins interrupt him again.

“Are we missing something?” Fred said, looking at you.

“Is Percy attractive?" George asked, confused.

“He is” you winked at them.

“You’re a weird woman” George told you.

“I already knew” Ginny shrugged.

“What? How could you know? I hadn’t told anybody! Who told you?” Percy said, blushing.

“Nobody. I knew since my first year in school. I’m a very observant person, Percy” she smirked before her eyes landed on you and Charlie.

“Do you think she knows something?” Charlie whispered at you.

“She definitely knows” you assured him.

“So...” the twins smirked at you as they walked closer.

“You’re single?” Fred asked.

"Are you asking me out, Fred?" you smirked.

“You know who else is single?” George smiled.

"Viktor Krum!" Ron said, excitedly.

“No, you twat! Charlie!” the twins said together.

“Should I be scared of how much your family wants me to be with you?” you asked with an arched eyebrow.

“I bet you thought Percy and Oliver were the worst ones” he laughed.

“Hey, (Y/N)” Bill said, appearing in the room. “This came for you” he said, handing you an envelope.

“What? F-for me?” you asked confused.

“Yeah, this tawny owl just left it on the front door” he explained, handing you the envelope.

“Thanks, Bill” you smiled weakly at him. Charlie noticed the distressed look on your face and pulled you out of the living room, Percy and Oliver following the two of you.

“What’s wrong, love?” Charlie asked, letting it slip and ignoring the smirks from the other couple.

“Um… this was sent from m-my dad and when he sends things is usually not good” you laughed, nervously. “You know what? We’re having such a lovely day, I just won’t open it” you said, about to put it on the table, but Oliver stopped you.

“Maybe it’s a good thing this time?” he tried. “Come on, you should open it” he encouraged you.

“We’ll be here with you” Percy smiled.

“Do you two know something I don’t?” you asked with an arched eyebrow.

“Look, you helped me so much by being here for me” Percy said, stroking your arms with his hands. “The least I can do is be here for you as well” he reassured you.

“Um… okay” you said, taking a deep breath.

“We’re all here for you, love” Charlie said, kissing your forehead.

You slowly opened the envelope, waiting for a long letter from your father about the presents you sent to your little brothers and maybe even returning the presents too. But it wasn’t that. Your entire heart melted when you saw a big picture of Thomas and Christopher, not only wearing the Quidditch robes you gave them but standing with Oliver and Viktor. They looked happier than you had ever seen them. You then grabbed the letter attached to it. It was from them. Your little brother had written to you, thanking you for the Quidditch robes and for having Viktor and Oliver deliver them themselves.

“Oh Merlin�� you said, feeling your eyes water a little. “How did you-?” you said, looking at Oliver, but you didn’t even know what to say. “You went there?” you smiled. “And you got Viktor to-?”

“It was actually Charlie’s idea” Oliver admitted.

“W-what?” you asked, looking at him.

“The robes came back a couple of days ago” Percy confessed. “But we didn’t want you to see them” he explained.

“So, Charlie had the idea that maybe if Viktor and I were to show up at your father’s house, he wouldn’t say no” Oliver explained. “Your little brothers saw us through the window and they ran to answer the door” he smiled. “And we were able to give the robes to them from you” he smiled.

“Y-you guys did this for me?” you asked with the biggest smile on your face as a few tears rolled down your cheeks.

“Of course, love” Charlie said, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer, kissing your temple.

“Oh Merlin, Ollie! We made her cry” Percy said, impressed.

“Shut up!” you laughed a little before you noticed something else inside the envelope.

“What’s that?” Charlie asked as you pulled away and gasped in surprise.

“What?” Oliver asked.

“What is it?” Percy questioned when more tears fell down your face and you quickly wiped them off.

“It’s a picture of me and my mum” you said, showing it to them. The three guys saw a picture of someone that looked remarkably like you with a smaller version of you in her arms. The two of you smiling at each other and the back of the picture read ‘My girls’ in your father’s handwriting. “I didn’t… have any pictures of her” you told them. “I can’t believe you did this for me” you smiled.

“Hey guys, mum wants a picture of everyone-” Bill entered the kitchen and stopped talking when he saw you crying in Charlie’s arms. “What’s going on here?” he asked, extremely confused. “Wait, are you two-?” he asked, noticing Oliver and Percy holding hands.

“Uh, yes” Percy said as he pulled Oliver closer to him, realizing Bill hadn’t been in the room when he made the announcement.

“So, that means you two-” he smiled at you and Charlie as his brother nodded, smiling. “Am I the last one to know?!” he asked, offended.

“Kinda” Charlie shrugged.

“That is so unfair! How am I the last one to know?! You two were the first ones I told about me proposing to Fleur!”

“In my defense, we only got together yesterday” Charlie said, hugging you closer. “They have been together since their last year at Hogwarts and Percy was just pretending to date (Y/N)” he said, pointing at Percy.

“Hey!”

“And he told you first!” Bill said, insulted.

“Actually, Fleur also knows already” Oliver admitted.

“Oh, I cannot believe you, Perce!” he said, walking out of the room.

“Come on, Bill, hold on!” Percy said, walking after him with Oliver.

“Did you do that to get back at Percy for telling your mum about us?” you asked Charlie.

“Of course, it was” he smiled, brushing away the remaining tears on your cheeks.

“I can’t believe you did this for me” you told him, placing the pictures and the letter on the table. “This is… this is the most thoughtful thing anyone’s ever done for me, Charlie” you confessed.

“I just gave Oliver the idea, love” he shrugged modestly. “What?” he frowned when he saw the worried expression on your face and he pulled you closer.

“Um-” you stuttered. “There’s something that I think I want to s-say” you said, looking down. “It’s um- something I don’t think I’ve ever said before- at least not to someone who isn’t Percy or Oliver” you chuckled. “And I know that it’s stupidly quick and I don’t expect you to say it back but I guess there’s no denying that I have feelings for you that can't be explained in any other way-”

“I love you too” Charlie interrupted you, making you look back at him.

“Y-you do?”

“Yes” he nodded. “I don’t know how to explain it either” he smiled. “But I do” he said before you pulled him in to kiss him again. You wrapped your arms around his neck and felt his arms around your waist.

“I love you too” you smiled.

“Are you ready for your gift?” he smiled.

“Gift? Charlie, you have already given me enough” you said, pointing at the pictures on the table.

“That wasn’t my gift, I didn’t know your father was going to write back” he admitted.

“You still had Oliver and Viktor deliver the robes to my little brothers” you said.

“Well, still… I made you something” he said, grabbing a small box from where he had been sitting earlier and giving it to you. You excitedly opened it and took out a tiny maroon jumper with the letter ‘N’ on it.

“What is this?” you asked a little confused.

“Well, as you know, my mum taught me how to knit when I was little” he mumbled, looking away. “And I make these for my dragons when they’re babies” he continued. “This was worn by Norberta, one of my favorites” he smiled.

“Oh, you told me about her!” you smiled. “The one you got from Hagrid because she was too big for him to take care of her at Hogwarts?”

“Yeah” he said, loving the fact that you remembered. Most people tuned him out whenever he talked about dragons. “I made this for her and… since it had the ‘N’ I thought it… might fit… N-Newt” he explained, nervously.

“I love it” you said excitedly before you kissed him again. “And I love you!”

“I love you too” he smiled.

“Would you two come here already?” Bill said, walking in again. “Mum insists that you are both is in the picture- wait! Does she know about you two?” he smirked, looking at Charlie.

“Bill, if you open your mouth I’ll tell her about you proposing to Fleur!” Charlie threatened.

“That was a fair play” Bill said, unenthusiastically.

“Your family it’s a bit… intense, isn’t it?” you asked nervously.

“Oh, don’t worry, love” Bill winked at you. “It’s your family too” he smirked before he left.

“Having second thoughts?” Charlie asked, kissing your cheek.

“Are you joking? They probably love me more than they love you” you teased him.

“You are spending too much time with the twins!”

The End

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

[Ch.1] [Ch.2] [Ch.3] [Ch.4] [Ch.5] [Ch.6]

A/N: I have absolutely no idea how I was able to do this but I want to thank everyone who loved this story so much! it made fall even more in love with Charlie and I loved every second of it (even the writers block) I really hope you loves like it! I will still be writing an epilogue, of course, but thank you all so much for the love on this story!!!

#hanging by a moment #harry potter #harry potter imagine #charlie weasley #charlie weasley imagine #charlie weasley x reader #charlie weasley reader

270 notes · View notes

heymeowmao · 10 months

Text

2023.11.18 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324969502629822558

I'll stream for a small~~~bit~~

LYN: Hallo everybody, good evening I am Modern Brothers Liu Yuning. Welcome! LYN: I already told you I would find time to stream, so this counts as having made good on my promise. C: What a surprise. LYN: It’s not really. Honestly I am a little tired, because I just started my new work so I’m a little weary and I was planning on coming back home to take a shower and sleep. But since we wrapped up so early today, I felt like if I didn’t use the time to stream I would be letting you down. Our main focus, fam’, is “company”, isn’t it?

C: Your hairstyle is hard to explain. LYN: I just got off work and had to have it under a wig for my guzhuang drama. Now my hair is pressed flat and shapeless so I’ve just slapped on this white hair. Today we’ll cosplay as a “leng shao”- someone who looks distant and cool.

LYN: My new drama has just started filming, and I know a lot of fans were planning on attending the open. But since we’ve been a little low-key, you didn’t make it and have instead decided to come to Hengdian to play. You made a trip out of it. I saw many of you are checking in at various restaurants- restaurants that I’ve been to- to have a meal or hang out. “Ning-ge ate at this place, and as expected, it’s good! Why else would he keep coming here otherwise?” “This place has to be good because I always see people take photos of Ning-ge, when he’s leaving it.” “When Ning-ge, comes here next, he’ll be checking in where PF’s (his fanclub: peng-fei) have checked in!” LYN: It’s great. Hengdian is a nice place to come for travel & sight-seeing. You can take a walk around at see- the House of Sunset Drizzle, and other such places. You can wander around and check them out.

C: Has Leng Shao come out to eat in the past few days? LYN: No, because you’re all there, so I will not be eating out. Let’s say for example you’re eating out at a restaurant and I- “GWA!”- walk in with messy hair and swollen face. As soon as I walk into that restaurant and you see me, I’m sure that your psychosis will start. You’ll all go crazy in a split second. Then, you’ll pick up your phone and contact all your friends around the Hengdian area and disclose my location. Everyone will swarm the place. That’s the first thing. The second is usually- since I am from Dongbei, and we are more kind- if I walk into a restaurant that has 10 tables and 6 of them are of my fans who have come to sightsee… should I pick up the bill for these 6 tables or not? Do I pay for their meals, or not. Friends, you can ponder this for a minute. If I don’t pay the bill, would people think I am stingy, being such a big artist as I am? If I DO pay… I would feel sorry for my money. XD LYN: I don’t want to offend anyone- so I’ll just stay at home eating take-out. You can have your fill of fun and when you’re done you can go back home to work or whatever, okay? I will not be accompanying you, nor will I be paying for your bill. Please do not have a meal at the restaurant and when the boss tells you to pay, say, “Add it to Leng Shao’s tab. My friend, Leng Shao, works in Hengdian all the time. Do you not know him? Add it to his tab and make him pay later.” - C: How long has it been? LYN: I just started not too long ago. 3 minutes. (t/n: 8 minutes…) You didn’t miss any exciting content. - C: I got it. Ning-ge, I’m in Hengdian right now. Later, wen I got o eat I will tell the boss to put it on your tab. LYN: If you’re going to do that… you’re going to get reported. That’s running away without paying. YOU know who “Leng Shao” is, but the shop owner doesn’t. Forget it, okay?

C: Ning-ge, change into a hat. LYN: What do you care?? What’s it to you what I wear. I’m just going to do what I want. Just listen for entertainment. Even if you think that you can’t stand to see another second of my face and this messy hair, just listen to my voice. Listening to the audio alone is also very nice. Friends, isn’t it nice? - /purposely makes it... not nice/ - /laughs at himself. LYN: I turned into a frog./

LYN: A lot of people watch my stream and many of you know that I’m a singer, but not that I am also acting. But they have seen clips of my streams, so they always say, “I’ve watched a bit of LYN’s stream, but why does he talk with such a heavy Dongbei accent? How can he act like that??” Uh… can you hear my Dongbei accent when I’m singing? No, right? I just like to use my hometown dialect when I’m streaming, but I actually can speak putonghua. C: People from the Northeast have a few different sounds they can use. LYN: Not always. It depends on if you know how to use them or not. But they’re also not immediately interchangeable.

C: Ning-ge, how much money is is the opening red envelope? LYN: I don’t know about other people but actors get- what’s it to you?? How is how much money is in my red envelope any business of yours? Did you want me to treat you to a meal? No way. I can’t do it. C: 100 // 200 // 5. LYN: You can’t be like that. Now you’re being impolite. The red envelope given at opening is for good luck- it doesn’t have anything to do with the amount. It’s not as if your whole finances are dependent on this one red envelope. It’s a token meant to bring good luck. The amount is not important. LYN: Someone said “100”. Let’s say for example that the ZLYM envelope did not have up to 100 in it; how do you want me to explain that to the crew? Now it seems like we’re very stingy. That doesn’t work, right? What if it isn’t 100?? C: At least 100. LYN: The amount won’t be too much. I’ve received a few opening envelopes, and some of them were 10-20-50, and even some 100. ZLYM is a big project, so… they gave us 100. 100 is the upper limit for opening red envelopes. It doesn’t have to do with lack of resources or not, it’s just not worth it to give any more than that. It’s a small token of appreciation. C: Give me 5. LYN: You’re just a kid. You can’t spend money. I’ll save it for you. When you grow up I’ll give you 100 to spend. For now I’ll save it for you.

C: How long? LYN: Just a small while. You didn’t really miss anything. I can’t stream for too long, either. I was planning to wrap and wash my face properly and get some rest so that I can be in good condition for filming.

C: Are you still drinking the plum juice? LYN: Not lately. I don’t drink it after filming starts. I was drinking it earlier, because we hadn’t started yet. But the juice- just fruits blended into a juice- is helpful for uh… swift going. It will make you use the restroom more often, let’s say. After a few trips, you’ll start to lose water weight and therefore look a little thinner. For a period of time, I was drinking that juice- one pack a day- and I became… too swift. LYN: Yesterday I was in hair and makeup, and after that I was supposed to go to set. The car was parked in the front and my staff came to get me like, “The car’s ready. Let’s go.” But I told them I needed to use the restroom. So they let me go. After staying in there for about two minutes, I… wasn’t successful. So I thought, “Forget it. Let’s just go. If anything, I can take care of it when I reach the set.” After you drink this juice, you’ll feel the need to go more often. Anyway, I decided to take care of it on set, but three minutes after the car had started moving, I couldn’t take it anymore. I told them, “Find me a bathroom, quick. I can’t hold it anymore.” We had the navigation search for the closest restroom, but it was ten minutes away. I was not going to make it ten minutes. They needed to find me something within three. We found a hotel, and I walked right in and was able to take care of it. LYN: If your digestion is poor lately and you want to drink some, that’s okay. But if you have a normal work schedule, try not to drink that thing. You won’t be able to control it. XD C: Don’t talk about it so uncouthly. LYN: I think that as an actor, you have to have a clear and realistic approach to expressing yourself. Because when you’re talking to someone about things, you have to give them a sense of the picture. Even though you can’t satisfy them in terms of smell and hearing, you have to give them a sense of sight to be considered an outstanding actor. That’s one of the base requirements for being an actor. That is- even though you weren’t there, through my description, you should be able to get an idea of the situation. You had to get an understanding of and feel my pain. C: I’m eating dinner! LYN: I apologize. It’s around 7p, I thought you were done already. Because I always eat at around 5-6p, and by 7p I’m laying down watching tv. I didn’t know. My apologies. That was my mistake. Excuse me. C: What does the plum juice taste like? LYN: DZW recommended it to me. He said it could help with weight loss.

C: What are you drinking now? LYN: This- /picks up his glass/- is tea. I usually drink soft drinks, because I quite like sodas and “lei bi” (sprite = xue bi; the characters for xue (snow) and lei (lightning) look similar). But I’ve been trying to cut my sugar intake, so I’ve been drinking these sugar free drinks. But I can’t take just clear water- I don’t really want to drink it. So I’ve bought things like this- this is pu’er tea.

C: Ning-ge, you’re not seeing HZT today? LYN: What are you talking about? I know- he has a concert today. But… I attended a cosplay event today, so I didn’t go. See- look at the white hair? Normally I would be at his concert, but I’m filming a drama. We just started filming today. I have scenes in the next few days so I dont think I can go. I’ll see if I have time later to attend any of the other stops. That doesn’t need saying- of course I’ll go if I have time. LYN: I sent him a flower stand for a successful concert, though.

C: Ning-ge, you’re cosplaying as [???] LYN: I’m cosplaying as a head of garlic. Do you want to peel me apart? [t/n: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

C: Ning-ge, change into something green. LYN: ? Are you cyber-bullying me? Let me tell you- don’t think that artists are so well off. Actually, they are under an immense amount of pressure. So one day if I turn emo, don’t you think I would find you (as the cause)? You might think that your unintentional words online are amusing, but you know, sometimes- /plays the sad bgm/- sometimes your unintentional words can cause an adult to instantly have a breakdown. I really hope that when you’re on the internet, you can reply in a more cultured manner and with kindness. Okay? Let’s return to everyone a peaceful and quiet online environment. C: That’s about enough. LYN: I’m only using a humorous method to advise someone who harbors ill-intent for me not to.

----- drama chat

LYN: Friends, have you been watching Wonderland of Love (LYY)? I think it’s airing pretty well. I don’t know what episode it’s on, but later I’m going to make an appearance. [E36] I cameo’d for three scenes, so I think it’s about time for me to appear. I’m guessing. I know friends were curious as to what sort of character I cameo’d as. C: I’m watching it! // I’m watching right now. LYN: Who are you kidding?? You have my stream open, and you’re telling me you’re watching LYY right now??

C: Ning-ge, then how long do you appear for before you die? LYN: /sigh/ Do I HAVE TO die??? That’s a line from my drama (Heroes 2022)- “Do I have to die?”

LYN: I used to play as supporting characters or villains, and at the end of the drama I always had to die. I finally got the chance to go to this drama and cameo for three scenes, and you want me to die there, too?! What- Do all the characters I act as have to die or something?? LYN: Sometimes I chat with other actors and they say, “I think for this drama.. at the end I have to die.” This happens a lot when we talk about the script, so I asked them, “Why is that?” The response was, “That way the viewers will feel sorry for you.” Ah… 😬 LYN - “Is that so…?” A - “Yeah. If your character dies at the end of the drama, the viewers will definitely feel for you.” LYN - “If that’s what works, then I guess I can die.” LYN: I even started to believe it. But there’s a problem: I’ve shot around ten dramas now. My rate of death is about 70%. Any role I play… they die. Now I’m having a bit of a mental breakdown because based on the response from the dramas that have already aired, it doesn’t seem like the viewers feel very sorry for me at all. They still call me ugly. The Chinese have a saying, “Respect the dead”, right? In the drama I’m already dead- viewers don’t care, they still curse at me.

LYN: So, friends, when I receive a script there are a few questions I have to ask before even looking at the role: I ask, “Is the script complete?” It is. “Who am I playing as?” and “In the end, are they dead or alive?” If the production team says that they aren’t dead, okay, I’ll look at the script. If they tell me that the character I play dies, then... I’ll have to consider it. I can’t keep taking those roles, because I feel like it is ominous for my life. You might not know, but much of the acting industry depends on fengshui (superstition). It’s a big part of the industry, and we’ll light incense at the start of filming, too. LYN: For me, someone who often acts in scenes where I am dying/dead, the crew will prepare a red envelope for you. You get a red envelope at the start of filming, and if you die in the drama you get another one. If they know you will be acting such a scene coming up, they will give you a red envelope to put in your shoe- under your foot. That will help ward off evil. If you die in the drama twice- the first is a fake death and the second for real this time- then you will get two extra red envelopes. It doesn’t matter how many times, if you die, you get a red envelope.

C: How much? LYN: I already told you- the opening red envelope has nothing to do with money- it’s just a good omen. You can put 10 or 20 RMB in there, it’s all good. Usually that’s the general rule. C: Is paper money okay, too? [t/n: the money you burn for the deceased] LYN: 去你的! // I might just punch you for that!

C: Ning-ge, in that case, if you act as a jiangshi, do you get a red envelope every day? LYN: /laughs/ ! Hey, does a jiangshi get paid a daily salary, then? It doesn’t sound unreasonable…

C: Pei pei pei! (“Knock on wood”!) LYN: It’s okay. I was joking around earlier. Honestly, as an actor, you don’t really care about these things. I acted in- Ultimate Note- you all know. So you also know what the content is. In one of the scenes, I was lying down inside a coffin. They closed it and left me with a walkie-talkie. The director said, “On the count of three, push open the coffin and come out of it.” That’s how the scene was designed- a lot of you already know it. So that day, everything was ready- we opened the coffin. The co-director came and said, “Liu Yuning-laoshi, please (lie down).” Ahh? I said, “No problem” and climbed in. I went in, but asked, “After it’s closed, it’s going to be 3-5 seconds, and I can come back out, right?” They said, “Yes.” Ok. I went in and laid down. They closed the lid. After the lid closed I don’t know what happened- there was something wrong with the lighting, or the camera wasn’t in the right position- it wasn’t long. Maybe 8-10 seconds, or 20, but no longer than a minute. I was just laying in there, staring at the lid. I was in there. I was waiting. Just staring at the lid. Thinking, “Wow, it’s been so long already. Why aren’t they cueing me?” “They didn’t forget about me and leave, did they?? I’m still in here!?? Don’t scare me!” It probably wasn’t long on the outside, maybe 20-30 seconds, but on the inside it felt like time was passing so slowly. Every second felt longer than it was. When you’re lying in there, you have an inexplicable feeling of fear. It’s lucky that I encountered such a scene at the start of my career, so everything that came after in a similar vein felt acceptable. C: Ning-ge, you discovered the Jade Woman’s Immortal Sutra in there. LYN: And then what, I started practicing it? C: How many red envelopes did you get for lying in the coffin? LYN: Just the one.

--------- some singing coming up next!

C: You’re trending. LYN: … Really? I don’t believe it. How could I- at my rank- even fancy the notion of having a trending topic?? Stop trying to trick me. I’m not worthy. My rank is too low. LYN: Are you serious? #25? LYN: Why don’t I believe it?? Let me take a look. LYN: :D - /plays celebratory/new year music/

LYN: I really never would have thought. Judging by the radiant smile on my face, you know- C: Quick, fix your hair. LYN: There’s no need. This sort of weird style is what I’m going for. People seek new things. Let’s say I looked normal and was just sitting here in a suit- there’d be no highlight to focus on. This “fried” hair is the way to go. So that people click in and think, “Is this person crazy??” XD

C: Show your talent. LYN: I’m a little tired today… I don’t know if I have enough energy to sing. But since you want me to show my talent, then… I’ll try, Second Aunt. Okay? Let’s do one. // Hold on. Let me find the lyrics.

C: Ning-ge, don’t sing. What if people start running away again? LYN: … You- I know that I’ve ben acting lately, but I’m still a singer. I still have to hold my concert, release my album, and accept OSTs. I still- how could I, as a singer, make people leave BECAUSE of my singing?!? Even if it’s true, you can’t say it out loud. You can’t escape. Just stay here. Friends, how about this, I’m about to show my talent. Because every time I start trending I need to show you respect and to do that I will sing a song sincerely, to brighten your mood, and to express my respect for everyone who has come to my stream. So if I sing a song and you don’t like it or you think it sounds bad, turn the volume down and sit in silence for a bit. When I am done singing I’ll show you the “OK” sign, and you can turn the volume back up and I will continue to chat with you all. Okay?

C: It dropped to 27. LYN: I haven’t even started singing yet, so that drop has nothing to do with me. It used to be that when I was trending, I would sing a song. But as soon as I started singing- GWA- I dropped off the trending topics list. I choose to believe that was a coincidence.

LYN: Lets sing a song. - /clears his throat and starts prepping for an opera/musical XD/ LYN: I’m a little tired. I don’t know if I can sing it well, but just listen for entertainment. The way I sing during my streams is not representative of my real skill, friends. I’m sure there are plenty of producers secretly watching my stream on the down-low. If that’s you, I want you to please remember: All the songs I sing during my stream are for bringing happiness. It does not represent my actual singing skill. If you have any jobs for me, please still continue to be in contact. I just don’t want this to affect my market value. You can do anything but cut-off the way I make a living. -- 笑红尘 (Laughing at the Mundane World)

LYN: Thank you~ This is the version I sang at an event. I was looking through my playlist on my phone the other day and found this song, so I copied the track over. Now I can sing it for you during my streams. I hope you like it. LYN: Did my trending topic drop? No, right? C: Second Aunt says it sounds good! LYN: It didn’t drop though, right?

C: It sounds like flowing electricity. LYN: Your standards are so high. Our main focus today is the sound of electricity.

C: Second Aunt says, ‘Another song!” LYN: Another? What should I sing…? How about this- I think I sang it once but not very (well)… -- Above Jianghu (就在江湖之上) [Mysterious Lotus Casebook OST] LYN: For this song, I can say I killed it. The original singer can’t do it better than me.

C: Ning-ge, “Music is a man’s greatest cosmetic medicine.” LYN: … Are you trying to say… that when I was singing you saw a bit of charm in me, but now that I’ve stopped I look really bad? Is that what you mean? /sigh/ - /lets the lyrics speak for him? ~ As long as I don’t care, nothing can hurt me ~/ LYN: If you’re going to be like that, friend- the internet is full of terribly timed photos of me. People are good at finding my dead angles and taking pictures of me from them, and then posting them online. If you’re going to be like that then every time I’m filming, if I feel like someone is trying to take pictures of me, I’ll start singing. I’ll do some cosmetic medicine right then and there. Even if the pictures look like this- /makes funny faces/- then my fans can explain for me, “Oh, Ning-ge, was singing. He doesn’t look like that usually; he only has that expression when he’s singing. That’s why it came out ugly. Be more understanding. Who can keep a straight face when they’re singing?” It sounds doable. At least now my fans will have an excuse to use. It makes sense, right?

LYN: I’m already used to this, though. Because ever since I started acting as the male lead, on the first day of filming the first thing that comes out is ugly photos. But I know I don’t look handsome, so I acknowledge it. I’m just average-looking. But that doesn’t mean that you can treat me this way. Also, it’s not as if I’m trying to get through this industry on my visuals. I can’t. That path is closed to me. I’m just trying to get by. But it’s okay, because I always monitor my performance. If I discover a scene where I am ugly to the point where it will affect the visuals of the drama as a whole, I will get on my knees and beg the director to please delete that scene. “Director, I’m sorry. Please delete this scene. Don’t let it affect the quality of the drama.” LYN: Don’t take that seriously. Please don’t. Sometimes I just say nonsense. LYN: I know I look kind of weird, but it’s okay. I will just focus on doing well on acting.

C: Is Hengdian really cold right now? LYN: It’s alright. These two days we’ll be filming in a tent, so the temperature is ok. It’s warm. LYN: I’m planning to start wearing my thermals tomorrow, though. I feel more secure wearing them.

------- his acting journey

C: Ning-ge, why do I get the feeling that you are still not used to filming? LYN: ? Did I see that incorrectly? I’m used to filming already, but at the start it’s true that I wasn’t. My very first drama- the one with HZT- that was the first time I ever shot a drama. At the time it was very unnatural. I didn’t have a sense of confidence. 1. I didn’t actually know how to act. 2. Once you’re in the crew you’ll feel like everyone around you is a celebrity. (You’re starstruck.) Honestly. Most of my scenes were with HZT or ZXY. But when I first entered the crew I thought of them as celebrities. I acted as Wei Chengfeng and was meek- I was super nervous when I had to act in a scene with them. Before we start recording, we’ll go through the scene first: reciting lines, checking for smoothness, walk to our positions, checking for any problems before we start filming. When I had to go through my lines with them I was so timid. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing. What if they yelled at me? At the time I thought HZT had a bad temper. I was worried he would yell at me. For this drama, I was really unconfident. LYN: I wasn’t used to acting. That was a period of time I was under a lot of pressure. I didn’t think I would get another chance to be an actor after that drama. I just thought I would shoot it, and since we didn’t know how it would be received, I didn’t know if I would get another chance to act again. So I just did the one- Hot Blooded Youth.

LYN: After, I didn’t think that I would have a chance to be an actor. But then another drama, UN- the second drama I filmed- came to me because Bai-laoshi gave me a chance, and asked me to play as Hei Yanjing. I agreed, and tried it. I didn’t know that so many people would like the character so much. But even after filming that drama, I didn’t think I had a chance at becoming an actor. It’s not that I didn’t want to be, I just didn’t think the opportunity would ever come to me. I didn’t have resources, and my company at the time was still YY, the streaming platform. Acting wasn’t really on my mind, then. I didn’t have any confidence.

LYN: The third drama was CGX, and after I shot that drama I started to think that maybe I DO have a chance, and I WANT to be an actor. I’ve been shooting drama after drama since then, so you might ask me if I’m nervous when I have to film. There’s no way I can NOT be nervous. Because for every drama you enter, you’re trying out a new role. There’s a period of adaptation. You have to make sure you are receptive. You have to know the other actors level of performance and their style, their rhythm for reciting lines. The director’s preferred filming methods, or how they understand the character. You have to be quick to adapt to how the director thinks. When I first enter a drama crew, there is a nervousness there. It’s not a physical nervousness, but you have to be on high alert so that you can quickly adapt to the character and environment; so that you can work together will the rest of the actors and get through the drama smoothly. It’s about how well we all work together.

LYN: That’s why I haven’t felt like streaming in the past couple of days. When the drama first starts filming we’ll only do a few scenes to start, because all the groups are trying to figure out how to work together. We’ll shoot a few scenes to see if the the actors are in the right condition and the characters are coming off as planned. Once we’ve got the character set and the right conditions are met- and even before that- with the costuming. We might come out of wardrobe, hair and makeup looking great. But once we’re seeing it through the camera, with all the lights, it might look wrong. I always think I come out of makeup looking nice, but once I get to set look like a ghost. So it needs to be quickly adjusted. Even hair- sometimes it will look like the wig is missing a piece, and needs to be fixed. The first few days of filming are pretty nerve-wracking because we are all adjusting. Later it goes much more smoothly.

----- Yan Zijing (ZLYM) vs Liu Yuning

C: Yan Zijing is pretty handsome. LYN: Ah… He’s okay. I will try not to influence your thoughts- my fans, of course, will not care either way. But the best thing I can do is make sure that any passersby who might watch the drama are not turned off/negatively influenced by our comments. I’m confident I can do at least that.

C: YZJ has a lot of money, right? LYN: This character is very wealthy, yes. It’s not only that he’s wealthy- he’s not lacking money- but also that he has a brain for making money. Despite that, he has other pursuits in mind. Money is not very important to him. He’s just using it to fulfill a different desire. There’s something else he wants to do. The money isn’t all that important to him. Also- in that period of time, what’s the money going to do for him? It’s not like now- he could buy an iPhone with it. If you have money now, you can buy a house in Beijing or Shanghai. But in the old days, even if you had money there’s nowhere to spend it. It doesn’t matter how much money you had, it’s not as if you could just go out and buy two computers with it. XD At the most, you could eat better? But some regions were poorer, and you can’t buy what’s not there, so I guess you couldn’t even do that. So it doesn’t really matter how much money you have. LYN: That’s why there’s an old saying that money is just a material object. But now it’s not the same- money is everything: white shirt, expensive shoes, beads (XD), an iPhone to stick in your pocket, some computers, a house you can renovate really nicely, an elevator in your house, air conditioning- all of that costs money. Even if you had money in the old days, there was not much luxury you could spend it on. LYN: Now if you have some spare funds, you can get yourself some Pomellato, or something. :) Wear it on your hands, hang it around your neck. If you get thirsty you can buy some Chunzhen to drink. If you’re afraid of being hit by wind and sun you can buy some skincare, like L’Oreal. Right? Nowadays we have plenty of places to spend our money. People like making themselves pretty, too. Now that life is easier going, everyone can make themselves up, and that’s where Givenchy cosmetics comes in handy. It’s all good- all places to spend money.

C: Marketing with ease. LYN: This is my own stream, and I’m not marketing. This is just… offhandedly mentioning. It’s okay. We’re not talking about any big celebrities or anything. I can just mention them.

C: Does YZJ know martial arts? LYN: He does. LYN is basic, but YZJ is pretty charming. A master of pen and sword. He has intellect and knows martial arts. Maybe not at a very high level, but he knows it.

C: Can he ride a horse? LYN: Yes. Definitely better than LYN can. He can ride.

C: Is he well-educated? LYN: Um... he has talent. Maybe he didn’t have many chances to go to school, but he is a self-learner.

C: Does he know how to pan chuan? (traditionally wooden beads) LYN: He doesn’t do anything that LYN does. YZJ shows up and just starts with jadeite, wouldn’t that be terrifying? The plain type the LYN plays with are beneath him. He’ll be playing with the jadeite and it just shatters in his hands- he can throw it away and find a new string.

C: Does YZJ talk back at people? LYN: If you’re human, it’s only natural to have a temper.

C: Can he cook? LYN: /laughs/ I can’t keep a little talent for myself??? Just because LYN is a man of many talents, doesn’t mean that YZJ also has to have all of them! YZJ can cook and wrap dumplings. He knows how to cook Northeastern dishes, too?? It doesn’t work that way! LYN: YZJ can sing. He sings popular songs. In the drama he’ll orchestrate a scene where he holds a concert. Is that what you’re getting at??

C: Can YZJ dance? LYN: He probably, based on his figure, does not have that inclination. /sigh/ You want him to dance?!?

C: Does YZJ have abs? LYN: Stop provoking me! What are you trying to get at?

C: Ning-ge, aren’t you supposed to be a merchant from the Western regions? Then wouldn’t you ride a camel? LYN: I ride an elephant, not a camel. It must be elephant. I’ll grab two and ride them.

C: Does YZJ have any bathing scenes? LYN: … I’ll stop spoiling the drama now. We won’t discuss the complexities of the drama, but you asked me about his abilities, so I have generally described them.

C: Can YZJ livestream? LYN: /laughs/ He can even do influencer marketing! Why do you think he has so much money? He must be influence marketing. He finds a driver, fills up a cart of merch for 9.99, and gets to work. He’s a businessman.

-----

C: What dramas has LYN acted in? LYN: I haven’t been in much. All my previous roles were supporting, so it’s normal that you probably didn’t see me before. I honestly probably didn’t act very well either, so I wasn’t outstanding. That’s why you don’t know me. But it’s okay, because very soon dramas where I am in more of a lead role will be airing. You can take a look, then. YNGS will be airing soon, so you can start from there. If you don’t want to watch any of the old ones, don’t. Just start with YNGS and wait for the future ones.

C: When is YNGS airing? LYN: Even if I knew I wouldn’t be able to tell you. How can you expect to hear it from me? Do you think I’m really an yxh? I wouldn’t be able to tell you even if I knew- let alone if I don’t know- so don’t ask. When it airs, you’ll be able to watch it. Just wait.

C: When will TXJ air? LYN: …. SOON. LYN: /sigh/ LYN: Now I’m getting scared.

LYN: /pained/ Let me tell you something- I… my stomach hurts. /laughs at himself/ I was thinking of going to the restroom earlier but I figured I’m trending right now. I feel like if I use the restroom right now it would be impolite. Then it might even affect the upwards trajectory of my trending topic. I was thinking I would hold it, to see if I could force it back… but I can’t hold it anymore. Then, let me play you a video, and you can be alone for a little bit. I need to- please wait for me. I’m sorry. I’m really not doing this on purpose. I’m really not. I’m so sorry. I’ll play you two videos and you can stay here a while. Wait for me just a little while, friends. I’m sorry. Excuse me.

---------- break #1 (it’s an emergency.) LYN: I’m back, friends. C: Did you succeed? LYN: I am all cleared out.

C: Ning-ge, are you full? LYN: ?! /picks up his glass/ Look at how smooth that was- I was ready to pour this glass out on your face. You stay away from me. Online you’re a dragon, but in real life you’re just small and weak. You talk big online. I said “Let me use the restroom” and you asked me “Are you full?”??? [t/n: eat… shit…?] LYN: How wicked… how lacking in respect for others must you be??

C: Ning-ge, today is my birthday. Could you wish me a “Happy Birthday”? LYN: Of course I can. Today is Beijing time 2023/11/18, 8:26pm. I wish you a Happy Birthday and I hope that in this new year you can be happy and everything goes swiftly for you. Happy Birthday.

LYN: My stream is a really nice place. This person is celebrating their birthday, and everyone else in the stream is also wishing you a Happy Brithday. This place is so full of love.

LYN: You’re still spamming?? I already wished you a happy birthday, were you even listening to me? Or are my words just a fart on the wind to you? I literally just said it. I already wished you a happy birthday. You can watch the playback later.

C: Ge, wish me a happy marriage. LYN: Of course I wish you have a happy marriage. Many of you are getting married, right? Have a happy marriage. I wish you a wonderful married life.

------- a man not moved by money, who watches some pretty odd sounding mini-dramas

C: Can you sing Above Jianghu (就在江湖之上) again? LYN: Maybe you didn’t hear it earlier, so you want me to sing it again? You really don’t treat me as a stranger. From the tone of your comment, I think you consider me a very good friend, a best friend, the bestest of friends. Because it sort of sounds like I owe you something? If you like the song that much, you can go listen to it on various music streaming platforms. You can go have a good listen. I also really like this song.

LYN: Later when I stop streaming the playback will be up. You can listen to it a another time- even if it’s your second time or thousandth time. It’s all good. Just watch the playback. C: Why don’t you sing it acapella? LYN: …

C: If I give you 1M, would you sing it? LYN: Friends, isn’t this scary? Would I sing it if they gave me 1M? First of all, I’m sure that this friend is very wealthy. They also think that if they give me that much money, I would give in. “You aren’t going to sing? Well what if I give you 1M, would you sing then??” I would. How about this- why don’t you contact my studio account immediately and within 10 minutes we’ll send you a contract. You should sign the contract first and return it to us. A 30% deposit to start would also be acceptable. Right now! You’ll have to excuse me- because this is my own stream so my assistant is not close by. The only thing I have is a small dog, and I don’t think she can do it. Contact my studio and we’ll start our agreement as soon as it’s signed and the 300k deposit is received. We can start right away. The opening notes will start right away. I already have the track prepared. Let’s go through procedures first, though. What do you think? I’ll wait for you. When I receive notice from my studio that we have the money, I’ll be ready to go. I’ll be waiting for you. C: Slash it a little. LYN: You mean that since they are a viewer, I should give them a discount? Alright. We have a little promotion going on, so since you are willing to spend so much I can personally give a small discount. I think I have the right to do that. Let’s say that for every 10k you spend, I’ll give you a 5rmb discount coupon. Alright? Then, since you spent 1M for this song, that would save you… 500 RMB. You can send 1M through officially, and from my personal WeChat I will transfer you 500 back. Ok? Contact my studio first though. LYN: Friends, see? I made money. 1M, just from streaming. XD

C: Ning-ge! In that case, doesn’t it mean they could add you on WeChat? LYN: You mean to say that they spent 1M, and you won’t even let them add me on WeChat? I can add them! Then, after I send the 500RMB, I can block them! This is a one-time transaction. If you want to hear another, then you can start the process over again. I can still block people, you know. After I add them and send their 500RMB back, I’ll just block them. We do things cleanly and efficiently.

C: Ning-ge, I’ll give you 2M, come to my house to sing. LYN: … LYN: It’s like this, friends. Don’t listen to the internet when it tells you I drink with people to get my jobs. That’s complete nonsense, so don’t read that stuff and think it’s the truth. I sell my talents, not my body. 2M, to be called to your house?? I don’t accept home-calls. I don’t deliver “take-out.”

C: 10M. LYN: Why do I get the feeling that in my stream, all the online friends- I never knew what having money was like. But now everyone in my stream is showing off their wealth. Someone was going to give me 1M to sing a song. Someone else offered 2M for me to go to their house to sing. Now someone is offering 10M. Is money just a number to you?? I always hear that saying, “Money is just a number” and now I’ve experienced it here in my stream. Money in your eyes IS just a number. Just a random number you make up for nonsense. I saw someone say they’d offer 100M. I won’t go even for 100M, because it’s not even worth that much money. I don’t think I can provide you service worth 100M.

LYN: Friends- I know people in this industry who have been telling me that I can make a lot of money doing mini dramas. I didn’t really understand it at the start. People invest so much money to make a drama good, but why is it that these dramas that people spend so much time, effort, and money on don’t seem to air well. Yet on the other hand, why do the dramas that are roughly put together, where you can spend 7 days to shoot very many episodes, have a very good market? Today, because of this stream, I know why. It’s because everyone likes the instant gratification. - /describes a mini drama he’s watched (?) where someone gets hit by a car and when they come back to their senses the world has shifted. Money has appreciated. So now the paycheck they were on their way to deposit into the bank for the 3k they used to make a month is now BIG BUCKS and all of a sudden they are super wealthy because of it./ LYN: Isn’t that instant gratification? You watch and you keep on watching. LYN: I’m sure that mini dramas do have a good market.

LYN: There’s another one- I watched a different one… - /starts describing a drama with an abusive husband, who later ends up in the hospital. his daughter comes and pulls his oxygen mask off, effectively killing him. But after he dies, he time travels back to twenty years before. but he now has guilt for how he treated his wife, so he vows to start treating her better. through what he remembers of his past (currently his present) he finds ways to make more and more money (via lottery, investments, etc.), to give his family a new life./

LYN: I watched another one a few days ago- I seem not to watch anything normal… - /describes a modern drama where a girl was taking video of her family’s construction project, and backs into who she believes is just a construction worker. she propositions him and tell him she’ll give him 10k/month if he marries her, because her family will only let her inherit her family fortune after she’s married. they get married within the first 10 minutes of the first episode. after they’re married she finds out he’s one of the richest guys in the city, and he was just taking a look at his property when she bumped into him, she proposed to him, and he agreed to marry her. she thought he was just a poor worker but slowly comes to realize his real identity./

LYN: Anyway- that’s why I feel like the tune of my stream has suddenly changed. “100M” comes so easily out of your mouths. To you, 100M is just a number.

C: Ning-ge, I’ll give you 10B to watch you act. LYN: /unhinged giggle/ LYN: That’s enough.

C: Ning-ge, I’ll be more realistic- 3k. Will you come or not? LYN: 3k is okay. It’s acceptable. I can sing for you, but I don’t have the time. Let’s talk again when I do.

LYN: Okay. You can stop trying to trick me now. Ten minutes have passed and my studio has not contacted me. They haven’t notified me about your contract, so… there’s no helping it. I won’t be singing. You can watch the playback later.

LYN: It’s not to say that I am someone who is moved by money. I just think you should save it for better things. I’m afraid you really would waste your 1M. When I stop streaming you can watch the playback. It’s not good to spend 1M just like that. If I were to lecture you- don’t you think it would be a lot better if you donate it? You’d spend 1M just to listen to a celebrity sing? You must be crazy. There are so many children going hungry- you should be doing something about that! Am I right? Don’t spend your 1M willy-nilly. Do something meaningful with it. This is not the way to spend money. If you really have it, you shouldn’t spend it this way.

----------

C: Is Dandong’s food mostly sweet? LYN: Not particularly? Most of it is based on salty, but we do put some sugar, and that’s very normal. Sweet. Sweet and Sour. Spicy. Rich. It depends. Every restaurant has their own way of cooking.

C: Ning-ge, in your last stream you said you’d order malatang for us. LYN: I said in my last stream that in my next one I would order malatang for you, did I? It’s like this… I don’t really have the funds. I was thinking if that 1M contract for singing Above Jianghu came through, I really would order malatang for you. I wouldn’t think it a waste if I even ordered two bowls for you. But I was not able to make that money this stream. I have to pay for the electricity, my makeup, the wig, my new clothes, performance fees- I haven’t made my capital back. So I’m sorry- we’ll have to do a raincheck on the malatang. I’ll keep it in my mind, though. If I promote dramas in my upcoming streams and I make some money from them, I’ll take a portion of that money out for you. I’ll raffle it so you can buy malatang. Okay? I don’t have the money for it today. I don’t really want to start a fight about it- otherwise when I think about streaming I’ll feel a sense of terror.

LYN: Someone just asked something very… naively. They said, “There are about 20M people watching your stream, so if each of them gave you 1RMB, wouldn’t you have 20M?” Friends, don’t you think what they’re saying makes sense? If everyone gave me one dollar, I would have millions. I’ve thought about this ever since I was little. If China has a population of 1.3billion people and each of them gave me one dollar, wouldn’t I have 1.3B dollars? Let me tell you- that thought alone is enough to write up a drama script. There’s a man called “Xiao Shuai”. He puts an d out across the country, that reads every person should give him one dollar. That way, he could become a billionaire. I also thought about this when I was a kid- if everyone on earth gave me a dollar I’d be a billionaire. Is there anyone else present that has also had this thought before? LYN: It’s a thought I only had when I was a kid, but because of that comment I’m realizing that maybe it is possible.

C: You’re using a wine glass to drink tea? LYN: It’s all about the ceremony of it. While I drink tea, I even have to listen to LYN’s songs.

---------- politics of the entertainment industry

C: Ning-ge, has anything fun/interesting happened during filming? LYN: ... Yeah. // But we only just started filming two days ago. Even if I did have something fun to say, it wouldn’t be very funny. LYN: Something did happen today that I want to talk about, though. I don’t really like to talk about these things, but I think this one is pretty positive, so I decided to share. I saw that Tang Xiaotian’s fans- I think it was his fans who released it- released an article. I saw it, and it was a nice gesture. Because yesterday the drama was announced, so there were a bunch of articles spreading around that TXT is overpowering me. But I’ve had contact with him and his crew, and I don’t think he is that type of person to instigate any of this. So I saw a bunch of the articles and I really didn’t feel any particular way about them, but his fans are very clear-headed. After I saw their response, I thought “Wow! They’re so open-minded!” They’re so nice!

LYN: But I also want to say that when you see things like this, you don’t need to get too worked up over it. Because I am someone who made his way up from supporting roles. It’s not many, but I have mostly been taking supporting roles, and only this year have I really started taking leading roles. I understand each of the actors in a drama. I’ve been in the fourth or fifth leading roles, the relatively more side characters, and I’ve even done cameo roles before. What I want to say is every actor in a drama is very important. Also, in order for one person to show what they can do and charm the viewers, it’s all based on four words: based on individual talents. I would never say, “This person’s acting is too good. They’re going to steal my spotlight.” There’s no need. If someone else steals my spotlight, that’s because of my own inability. I wouldn’t tell anyone not to perform to their best in fear of losing attention on myself. No- it’s all based on what you can show for yourself.

LYN: I was a supporting actor for a long time. You have to make every situation mutually beneficial. When you’re running a business, you have to know how to make money in order to know how to distribute it. Acting requires cooperation. Let’s give an example- say you’re a highly skilled martial artist. The strongest in the world. You stand five meters in front of me and “push” me- just like this /acts out the motion/. Let’s say I am the opponent. In a normal situation, I would be pushed flying. But say I don’t cooperate with you and I just: /looks down at his chest where the blow presumably lands/ “Ouchie”. Would you still think this person is the strongest martial artist? /gives a non-reaction/ “Ouchie.” /hisses/ “Oh. That hurt a little.” Do you get what I’m trying to say? So for every scene, it requires the actors to cooperate with one another. Only then can you create something brilliant, something good. Everything is like this. It’s not one-sided.

LYN: For the fighting scenes- you know when you slash out and the enemy flies out and spins a bunch of times before they hit the ground? The person getting hit is the one whose martial arts are the highest! What skills do we as actors have? The actors who spin a bunch of times before hitting the ground are truly the unbeatable ones! It’s their reaction that makes it seem like we are very powerful. One thing I know deeply about acting is that it is all about mutual support and cooperation. So if there is a role that is truly outstanding and good enough to capture the viewer’s attention, I think that’s great. It’s well-deserved and based on your own performing abilities. That’s true for every drama. How well you perform is based on your own ability. What’s the point of caring too much about others? If you can’t perform better than someone else, that’s your own inability. At least that’s what I tell myself. That’s why I never worry when they say others will steal my spotlight. I started out as a supporting actor, so it’s not something I worry about. If they can steal my spotlight, then that just means that I am incompetent. That’s really what I think about it. I just have to keep working hard and make sure I am doing better and better. That’s the best I can do, and that’s enough.

LYN: So if you encounter this type of situation again, there’s no need to fret or get nervous. I know what I am in a drama crew to do- all I have to do is take my work seriously. Let’s not worry about all the nonsense and rumors online, because they’re a normal occurrence. I’m sure that if they stop discussing me, very few people would even know who I am. Even if I become known to some people as a “very ugly man”, then at least they would still know me. It’s alright. It doesn’t matter.

C: You’re not working? LYN: I just came back! But I saw a notice on my phone that I have to be in hair and makeup at 5am tomorrow. I have a bit of an early start tomorrow, so I will just chat for you a while longer and then go. Okay? I’ll stay with you a little longer before I wash, look over the script, and sleep for I can get up early.

LYN: Of course, this bears repeating. All that I said before was only about myself. I’m not trying to throw shade on any other person. And if you think I was, then you’re overthinking it. I was only talking about myself. If one day I am overpowered by someone else, that’s only because I was incompetent. I’m ugly. I’ll admit it. But I was not throwing shade on anyone else. Please, PLEASE- don’t mess with me.

LYN: Even before, when I said if one day YNGS airs and FYL decides to release articles like that, I would hit him. That’s all a joke, because I am really close to him. We have a really close relationship! In Hengdian when we have nothing else going on, we even go out to eat together. We’re friends! But through this I understood something that I didn’t think about before. That is- the relationship between people, and the relationship between people and the entertainment industry. All of the people I can mention in my stream are people I am very close with. We talk a lot in private and can be considered good friends. But once you take that relationship and put it in front of the masses, it becomes uncomfortable. So ever since, I don’t really like to talk about my friends. But in reality, we are really very close in private. Sometimes I feel like maybe it’s not very good (to talk about my friends), because people are always trying to find something to use against you. To say that I am of bad character or something. But honestly- maybe I do have a bad personality? That’s why in the future I will stop or very rarely mention my friends again.

LYN: If there is something fun I’d like to share, I can use other ways to replace that friend’s name. I won’t name them specifically. Honestly we’re all pretty close in private- me and some friends. But there are discussions online that will inevitably make me want to try to… avoid conflict? I just don’t know what the other party is thinking, so because of the discussions we will start contacting each other less. They might think differently than I do. With some people, you can tell it to them straight, “(I heard this but) It’s nothing. I’m not overthinking it.” but with others it is harder to be direct with them. So… /sigh/ I’ll stop mentioning these friends again. I’ll only talk about myself. Even if I do mention my friends, it will only be to compliment them. :)

LYN: Even today, FYL reached out to me to ask me where I was. I told him I was in Hengdian, and he said he’d come find me on the weekend. Honestly, we’re all good friends. I can only joke around with them like this if we’re good friends.

LYN: I really want to share fun stories about this industry with everyone, because honestly I am just a very ordinary person. When people talk about a pu-xin-nan, that’s me. The “most trustworthy man in all the world.” (普天之下最适合信任的男人) I’m just an ordinary person, and one day I won the lottery and got a chance to become a celebrity, and started acting and singing. After I was able to do these things, I thought it really meaningful. So I want to share about the people I’ve met in this industry and the fun things that have happened here to people who might be curious about it. I want you to know more about it, yet it seems like there are some people who are also gatekeeping the information. After I tell you about it, it becomes a bigger topic of conversation. Even when I talk about myself, people say that I am being low; but I don’t understand why. I think that every industry plays by its own rules, so I’ll just try my best to stick to them. Next time I’ll just stick to sharing/commenting on my own business. I won’t talk about anyone else anymore. LYN: Not only am I a pu xin nan (普信男), I am also a ma bao nan (妈宝男). (哎哟妈呀! 宝藏男孩. / My goodness! A treasure-boy.)

-----

LYN: There’s another thing I don’t really understand- my friends or my fans like to post things in the Super Topic, to help ensure that people are discussing me. After they post, sometimes I go into the Super Topic to thank them for posting, and while I’m there I reply to people. I share what I ate or watched recently, things like that. As an artist or a “celebrity”, I think that if I am able to do something for my fans or people who like me, I should do it. If someone gave me 2M to go to their house and sing them a song, I wouldn’t be able to do it. But if I can respond to your post or message you in the fangroup, I would do it. Yet inexplicably interacting with my own fans is also considered “low”. They say I’m just using you to drum up numbers. ?_? I don’t really understand this. LYN: My fans do a lot for me- they organize so much and stay up late at night, and they do so much for me. And I can’t even reply to them??? Is that wrong of me? I have to be high and mighty and act like a “celebrity” and not interact with them? And if I do, that’s considered “low” of me???

LYN: What sort of logic is that?! Somehow it makes sense and there’s a consensus that it’s not allowed. I just think that’s really strange. Let’s say you have a decent paying job, but you have a friend who’s not making as much and they keep treating you out to eat. One day, you treat them back. It’s not allowed. // Honestly, I’ve always thought that no matter if I am an artist, actor, or singer, we’re all doing the same thing- customer service. To put it nicely, we are playing it up for all the audiences. We work hard so we have something to show to everyone. That’s putting it nicely. If we’re being honest, it’s just customer service, isn’t it? It’s all the same, really. I used to be a waiter in a restaurant. Now I’m a waiter in the entertainment industry. It’s the same- customer service is the key. We “wait on” all the people who like us, because who would you even be, without them? LYN: It’s okay, though. I’m not really bothered by it. Otherwise I wouldn’t be telling you this so calmly. I understand a little more, now. That it is better to say less, to lessen the chances of something being taken the wrong way. I can tell you about my own stuff, sure, but I won’t be talking about anyone else from now on. I can talk about myself.

----- Daimi chat

LYN: This comes up because of the fan support for the drama, that was later cancelled. But I heard people made Daimi banners, and some of me. I hear that Daimi’s were very professional… and mine less so. When the fans were handing them out, they didn’t want mine. They wanted Daimi’s. “I’ll trade two of LYN’s for one of Daimi’s.” I’m being overpowered by my own dog. In my fans’ hearts my dog is more important than I am. /sigh/ from today moving forwards I’m going to start messing with her. LYN: Where did she go? // She’s sleeping in the house somewhere. Let’s not call her.

C: Call her over to play. LYN: Let her sleep, she’s had a long day. When I get up to work, she comes with me. She probably wakes up even earlier than I do. When she reaches the hair & makeup room, she needs to greet everyone present first. There are about 20-30 people in that room- she greets each and every one. During the process, there are a few makeup artists that really like her and will prepare treats for her. She gets up in the morning to get breakfast from the makeup artists. They’ll give her sausages, and then some have an egg for breakfast- they’ll give her the yolk. I’ve never taught her anything like how to shake, sit, lay down, roll over, turn a circle. I’ve never taught her any of that, because I wanted her to have a happy puppyhood. I didn’t want her to have to sell her talents for food. I didn’t want to maker her go through that. But now after spending time with the makeup artists every morning, she’s learned how to shake. After my hair and makeup is done and she’s finished her breakfast, we get on the car to head to set. When she’s on set, she has to sit around- she has to wait for me to wrap up for the day before she can go home with me. It’s tiring, for a small dog. LYN: These past few days I feel like she’s not comfortable (?)- because she always sleeps on my bed. D: But after a while- if she hasn’t had a bath- I don’t really want her to sleep on my bed. She’ll usually find a corner to sleep in. But since she’s been running around, I think she’s gotten dirty so I don’t want her to sleep on my bed. So I bought her a dog bed- one with a roof. It’s said that dogs under 20lbs can live in it. It’s a large, and stated dogs under 20lbs can fit, so I bought it. It arrived yesterday and I discovered- only her butt can fit in it. So I bought another one. I’m very good to my female artist. I bought a bigger one- one that 50 lbs and under can fit in. LYN: I bought it in a size too small. Why don’t I raffle it? I’m being serious. If you have a small dog at home, I can take the one I mistakenly bought and raffle it.

C: How heavy is Daimi? LYN: She’s not very heavy- only in the tens? But everyone who touches her says the same thing: she feels like a rock. Is that something you would use to describe a dog?? Probably not, right? At most it would be “This dog is quite fat.” but people call her stone-hearted! She’s quite round, so she feels very sturdy- like a rock.

---------- ning-ge's autobiography

C: Are you shooting your new drama yet, ge? LYN: …No, I’m at home picking my feet. I don’t know if you’re a student or if you have work? If you’re a student then do well in your studies so that when you grow up you can develop well and become a big boss. When you have the chance you can invest in your Ning-ge. Okay? Jiayou. If you’re working, then do well at work. Find stable footing and make your way up. One day when you become the top you can lead me, okay? I’m counting on you. My future depends on all of you. LYN: I had friends who said, “Ning-ge, I’m in high school” or “Ning-ge, I’m going to college now. I can’t watch your concert. I’m a student.” I told them, “It’s okay. When you graduate from school, get a job, and are making your own money, you can come watch my concert then. Don’t come watch me when you’re still a student. Live a good life and learn well in school.” I’ve been waiting for the past three years. Almost four. I had my first concert when they just got into college. Now you’re about to graduate. If you still say that you’re a student, there’s no more excusing it away. You should be working about now, and you can make money. When it’s time for my concert you should be able to come watch it. C: Ning-ge, I’m a sophomore in college. LYN: It’s okay. No need to rush. I know a lot of you are university or high school students- some of you might even be in middle school. But I want to say- especially those of you who are in college- that I really think you’re amazing. Because I didn’t go to college. So I’m jealous of people who are highly educated, but I also admire you. I’m sure that all of you who are in college right now will make it big one day. You’ll have wonderful growth/development. So I hope you learn well and gain knowledge. One day when you are doing very well in society, remember to give me a hand. Remember me, okay? I’ll wait for you. There’s no rush. LYN: Right now your Ning-ge, can still make a living. I can still work, still act, still sing. I’ll wait for you to develop, until the day that you can lead me, okay?

C: Ning-ge, we are not as outstanding as you. LYN: You’re wrong. It’s like this- some of you may be thinking, “I’ve put in just as much effort as you have, but I’ve gotten nowhere. How do you expect me to lead you?” It’s like this- I cannot deny that whether being an artist or a celebrity, our incomes may be higher than those of you with normal jobs. Right? I can’t deny that. But here’s something to consider: how many wealthy people in the world are celebrities? Let’s not even talk about in the world- how many in China alone are celebrities? How many artists are in the Top 100? I’m asking you. If I asked you, who’s the hottest artist on weibo right now, you might be able to answer. But if I asked you who the richest person in the world is, you might not be able to answer. Why? Because artists are always under the public eye, so people know of them. But honestly you can make money in every/any industry. I was telling you before, wasn’t I? If you sell Chinese pancakes you can make 30k/month. I’m being serious. The major that you’re learning in school- I’m sure that at the top of whatever industry you chose, you’d be making more money than I am as an artist. What I’m trying to say is that the people you see appear to be well-off, but when you really think about people who have money… they come from all industries. Just keep working on your profession of choice, and if you make it to the top I’m sure you will be just as successful. Of course, money is not the scale for which you measure success. But it’s also very important to have money. So, learn well.

C: Minimum wage is so low. LYN: I can’t comment on that, but let me tell you about when I was learning to be a cook. I learned in culinary school for two years. One year of tuition was 1700. I thought that after two years of learning I would be able to jump straight into a restaurant and start cooking and earn 3-5k/month. I learn for two years and do you know what happened after? I got hired in a restaurant to wash the vegetables. To prep the fish. To clean the shrimp. Prep the veggies. I did that for a little over a year. My wage was 200/month. Not including food or housing. The restaurant only took care of- two or three meals, I forget. But it was never anything good. Let’s say they have a batch of kidney beans that aren’t too fresh- we’d prep them and they would become the employee meal. Things like that. 200/month, but they would take 180 as a deposit. That was in the early days- in the early 2000’s. Only 20 of it would make it to your pocket. C: What was the deposit for? LYN: The deposit was because they were afraid you would steal the dishes. Afraid you’d be working and steal a dish. Steal a pot. Or take 2 or 3 ribs. A rack of ribs is a couple hundred dollars, right? They were afraid we’d take 2 or 3 and run off with it. The deposit was for anticipated losses. And then- they would dock you pay for the smallest infraction. A lot of you may know that I have an experience- it’s haunted me to this day. I was working in a restaurant. It was a little over a year since I’d been working there, and through my talent and wits- I don’t know about anything else, but I can learn fast! I spent three months there and went from washing the vegetables, to washing vegetables AND prepping dishes. Let’s say for example you want a plate of fried shrimp- I would season it with salt and spices and add the starch. If any of you are cooks, you would know. In any case, my salary didn’t rise, but the amount of work I had to do did. One day, our restaurant was preparing for a wedding banquet- you know the kind. The customer reserves four tables, and all the dishes served to those tables are the same. I was in charge of frying the meat. Battered Fried (Meat of Choice). It’s the lean meat you eat in hotpot, really. I had a huge pot of meat and I was adding ingredients to it- the salt, msg, pepper, cooking wine, etc. I was mixing it, and started to create the batter- just egg, cornstarch, and oil. I fried a whole pot. That was my first time cooking so much of it at once. You can imagine- the lot had to be separated onto four plates. So I cooked all servings at once.

- /comment that asks what “msg” is, but that’s only because they call it by another name in the North/

LYN: So I fried a whole pot of it and that day I didn’t really think. It was cooked and fried, and sitting there. So I thought I would try a piece. I wanted to know if it was too salty or not enough, and I didn’t want anyone to complain about me. So I took a small piece from the side- the whole of it probably cost 2k or more. But I took a small piece to try. Coincidentally the boss walked in right at that moment. They came from the back kitchen and saw me try that piece of meat. They saw me and I saw them, but I didn’t think anything of it. I was just trying the dish! I tried it and thought, “Oh, not bad.” It was delicious! The salt was just right, the pepper added a hint of spice, and the batter was fried just right- crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. It was seasoned perfectly and the texture was spot-on. I was proud of myself for frying so much and not messing it up. But that restaurant didn’t allow the cooks to sneak a bite. The higher ranked chefs could, of course, because they needed to test the dish. But that day I was in charge of frying the meat- me, with my 200/month salary. I was not considered a high ranked chef, but I was already in charge of a lot. They just didn’t give me a raise for it.

LYN: I didn’t think anything of it. But then later that night the head chef came over and told me, “Xiao Ning, come here.” I went over, expectant. “What’s up? Did the customers compliment the meat I fried?” I had always seen that in high-end restaurants when the customer was done with their meal they’d ask for the chef and thank them for making such a lovely meal for them. Aren’t a lot of high-end restaurants like that? They thank the chef and it’s a sign of respect to them. I was actually kind of touched when I asked, “What’s up? Was it good? Do they want to thank me?” I said, “I won’t go out. Why don’t you go out and accept the thanks on our behalf?” XD But he said, “Today the boss saw you eat a piece of the meat.” I explained that I was testing the seasoning, because I wasn’t sure how it came out. Because I was frying them by batch- it’s not as if I could fry all of it at once. If the first batch came out and it was too salty, I could adjust for the next batches. If it was too bland, I could add some salt. If the flavor of the pepper wasn’t strong enough, I could add more. I explained that I only tried a piece to guage the flavor. He told me, “I know. But the boss saw and wanted me to let you know they will dock you 200.” I said, “Ge, 200 is all I make in a month. If you dock me 200, I would have worked this month for nothing.” He replied, “There’s no helping it. The boss said so.” /sigh/

LYN: And then... I just accepted it. Because I was just a worker. It was either that, or quit. I steeled myself up and told them I wanted to stay, and that I was there to learn before I quit. So I stayed for a little over a year. It was really a blow to the younger me. I was fresh out of school and that was the moment I really felt how cruel this society could be. They don’t care about your feelings, and they don’t care about what really happened. In this game, you are on the lowest level and you abide by the rules. Whatever they say goes. You have no power to fight back. The only choice is to stop working. But there’s another rule: You can quit, but you have to let them know one month in advance. Even if you wanted to quit, you’d still be stuck working there for another month before they let you go. Do you get the logic? Otherwise, they wouldn’t give you your deposit back. You can quit, but you have to let them know so they can find someone to replace you. I get it. It’s reasonable. But that month I didn’t have any money. If I wanted to quit, I would still have to work another month for nothing. If I just straight out left, they wouldn’t have given the deposit back. It’s just that cruel.

LYN: Someone said that minimum wage is so low. I’m not trying to tell you to… accept fate. That’s not what I’m trying to do. I just want to let you know how cruel society can be.

LYN: But right now is a lot better than before. College students are much better off. Why? Because the skills you’re currently learning can be applicable towards jobs. You wouldn’t be like me, who could only go wash vegetables in some back kitchen to start. That would be a waste of your degree. Your starting point would be something related to your major, right? So the environment would be a lot better than mine. It wouldn’t be as cruel as my experience, so you don’t have to be afraid.

C: Ning-ge, bosses with such narrow minds can’t run a business for long. LYN: Not necessarily. I went back to my hometown the year before last and their business was booming. I was driving past it and I could see that there was a line out the door. Really. So there’s no need to say that bosses with narrow minds can’t run a business for long. Honestly, it’s not entirely true. The world isn’t as nice as you imagine it to be. C: How infuriating. LYN: They’re still open! But it’s not important. I just think that these situations are very normal. After 1.5 years prepping ingredients, I made my way up to zan-rank! This doesn’t count as self-praise- but I’m a really fast learner! And, I am very adaptable. After a year and a half, I made it to zan-rank. It usually takes three years, but I did it in a year and a half! What does it mean? Let’s say the criminal- I mean, the customer!- wants to order. As the zan-bam your job is to /prep the ingredients and give it to the head chef, prep that plate and make sure nothing falls off of it, then hand the plate to the servers who give it to the waiters, who bring the plate to the table/. I made it to this rank and my salary had raised to 400/month. I used 1.5 years to double my salary. Friends, aren’t I hardworking? How many of you can say you’ve done the same? You must be dreaming. LYN: And then! I was in that rank for 2-3 months before I figured I had little to no chance of becoming head chef. It’s sort of in line- if your superior doesn’t move, you will never get the chance to cook. Not only will you not get to cook, you wouldn’t even have the chance to PRACTICE cooking. You can’t just come up and cook. There’s a training process- you have to know HOW to cook, starting from vegetables, then meats, then fish, and etc. You make your way up. But you won’t even have that, if the head chef doesn’t want you to. I had no room for improvement or advancement there. In the end I got to 800/month. But that was the limit.

LYN: Right around then I had a friend. His uncle was opening a restaurant in Shenzhen. He said, “Xiao Ning, do you have the guts. Let us young folk go out and do something with ourselves. Let’s go.” I asked, “Where are we going?” and he replied, “Shenzhen.” I told him, “I’ve grown to this age and I’ve never been away from home. I haven’t even been to Shenyang. Me, from Dandong, has never even been to Shenyang. You want me to go to Shenzhen??” C: His uncle? LYN: Yes! One of my classmates- his uncle has a restaurant in Shenzhen. The point was that we’d go there to work and make money. So I went. He gave me 600/month. /claps/ In Shenzhen! LYN: “Da Ye” is “Bo Bo”. Usually your dad’s older brother. We call them “da ye” here.

LYN: We went and sure enough, my salary raised. To 600/month. In Shenzhen. INCLUDING food and housing! It wasn’t bad, either. It specialized in Jiangxi cuisine, and that’s why I’m more familiar with it. It’s very spicy! That was my first time eating more Southern dishes- Jiangxi cuisine. We ate chilies every day. But once you’re in a new place, there’s no way you’ll be cooking, and there’s no way to be a prep-chef anymore. You just go where you’re needed. When the boss saw me, they figured I looked pretty decent. Let’s put it this way- with my appearance it’s hard for me to make a living in the entertainment industry. But in a restaurant? I’m pretty decent. Among chefs in the cooking industry, I think my appearance is pulling its weight, don’t you think? If someone says, “LYN, you’re too ugly to be an actor!” I will accept it. But if you say, among chefs, “This kid is pretty lively.” Then there’s no contradicting it. The boss thought I looked decent enough. So what happened? You’ve been to those restaurants- the first floor has a big glass window and there are some young kids in chef’s jackets chopping vegetables. /starts naming a bunch of ingredients he would be chopping, and imitates the customers ordering what they want/ I was one of them, and made 600/month. I was a visual.

LYN: I was in charge of cold dishes and stewed dishes. When I went, I started following a chef who was there to begin with. I could share some of his work. I made 600/month while he made 3800/month. I was concentrated, and went up to him and introduced myself. I let him know that if he needed any help from me, I would give it. He used one week to give me all of his daily work. What a generous guy. They all say that people with skills will never pass them down, but he sure did. All of it. I woke up at 6am every day to start chopping ingredients. After that, I would take the braised items out and make sure to bring the stock back to a boil. Then, I would work on my cold dishes. He would roll in at around 8am with his breakfast and say, “Oh, you’re done? Then, I’m going to eat breakfast.” I replied, “Yes, please do.” We’d eat. Then the customers would come and we’d get right to work. He really wasn’t shy about it. He passed everything down to me.

LYN: We had a bonus where if you bought a plate of cold dish, you could gain 50 cents (salary). So we made a cart full of cold dishes, and they had us push it around the hall, to see if we could sell any to people who wanted a side of cold dish. “If we don’t sell this in the afternoon, it will go bad by dinner. Why don’t you make a round?” So I took the cart, and did my round. But honestly, everyone was almost done eating, why would they even want to- C: Sell one dish, gain 50 cents? LYN: Yes. Ten dishes would be 5 dollars. In a month, that would be 150. I only made 600/month, base rate. If I sold ten dishes a day for a month, I would get an extra 150, wouldn’t I? It’s not small money. So I did my round. The problem is, people normally start off with cold dishes, who wants to order more when they’re practically done with their meal?? No one really ordered any extra. So the income there was actually pretty low.

LYN: Later, I was thinking, “Shouldn’t I be making some advancements?” I figured I would learn more, so I learned everything they had to teach me. I really do learn quite quickly. With the exception of the spices bag. You’ve all eaten braised meat, right? The only thing they didn’t tell me, was what was in the spice bag. Everything else was allocated to me, with the exception of that spice bag. It was a secret recipe that they didn’t teach me. I worked there for so long, and they never let me in on it.

LYN: On 600/month, I worked in Shenzhen for three months. Then I got a raise- to 800/month. Friends, aren’t I capable? I spent three months to raise my salary by ⅓ of the original rate. How many people can say they’ve done that? Can you? Think about it- at that point I had already graduated from school for almost two years, and I made 800/month. In Shenzhen. Let’s not talk about eating and drinking. If you lived on that salary, would you even dare to go shopping?? Would you dare to buy a pair of pants or shoes? On only 800/month?? /mentions his favorite store because everything in it was discounted 50+% off/ I could buy a few t-shirts, and I wore them beautifully. At that time in Shenzhen, you didn’t go anywhere, let alone shopping. I was happy to be able to afford McDonalds.

LYN: So for the person complaining that after graduating from college that working is difficult and hard…you have to remember these words: “If you cannot handle the difficulties of life, you cannot become a man amongst men.” You always see the better side of life, but never the hard side. Everyone is the same. Once you graduate from school, everything else that comes after comes step by step. If you aren’t prepared, even if the perfect opportunity falls into your lap, you would not be able to handle it.

C: There is no such thing as “easy” in the world of adults. LYN: Who doesn’t have their own hardships? No one’s life is perfect, it’s just that you are unaware of their imperfections.

----------

LYN: My studio just notified me and let me know that no one has contacted them regarding a contract for me to sing for them. No one has contacted them. It’s reached this point, so… it’s fine. I probably just encountered a scammer. Since they messed up our collaboration, do you think I could find their username through the playback and then sue them? XD I’ll sue them, and it will be considered a fraudulent business transaction. Do you think I can do that? Do we want to go so far?

LYN: I know many of you are my new fans, so I wanted to share with you my life experiences that you’ve never heard before. Let’s do this- I know a lot of you are tuning in for the first time. If you think it’s interesting, I can tell you about all the things I’ve done before. What jobs I’ve had, the people I’ve met- I can tell you all about it. You just have to subscribe to my weibo. Okay? It’s about time. Its not about the struggle. I think that every experience I had before I was an artist is really a precious experience. LYN: I’ve seen that people have commented that I am very social. That I’m “greasy”- that it’s clear I know my way around navigating people and have been around. To that I want to say… /sigh/ I haven’t been around. I was just… fighting tooth and tail for a period of time, is all. C: I’ll buy the first autobiography. LYN: My life isn’t interesting, why would I write a book about it??? Stop messing around. Releasing a book, with my education??

LYN: But I do want to say! I didn’t tell you all that because I was trying to make you feel sorry for me. I don’t need to do that, because I’m doing very well for myself now! I have so many fans, and I’m an artist now. I’m past that phase and I’m better off now. I have work to do and dramas to film. I make a fair penny, too. So I’m not trying to play the pity card. I just wanted to share with you what I experienced in the time between graduating and really entering society. I’m sure that none of you are worse off than I was then, making only 600/month. 200/month. At the very least now you would be making 1200-1800/month, right?

LYN: Alright. Many of you probably haven’t subscribed to my weibo yet, but please do. I need to go and wash up before I review my script for tomorrow and get up early. :( LYN: I hope you had a wonderful and relaxing night, and thank you for keeping me company. I hope you enjoyed yourself. Let’s meet again in the next stream. Goodnight, everyone!

#Liu Yuning #lyn livestream #(2:47:51)#i gotta get this out of the way before yngs starts and consumes my brain cells

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