#I don’t know if you guys knew this but I’m very fond of hard WORKING men.

[weinerhutcircus1]

to whoever might have them, please return Gearshift’s strange little toys back to him. I can see the decrease in his work quality and it’s driving me nuts.

[gojomamashouse]

Taking Care of You

Pairing: Mike Schmidt x babysitter!reader

Warnings: unprotected sex, oral sex (M receiving), breeding kink, praise kink, Fem!reader. Very minor mentions of injury & blood.

Description: He had never considered himself too fond of domestic life until you came into his house and made it feel like home.

A/N: crossposted on my Ao3 and Tumblr.

3.7k words

18+ content! Minors and ageless blogs dni!

You remember the first time you came over to babysit for Mike all too clearly. You remember the way your eyes went wide when the door opened, and how your jaw nearly dropped to the floor. More importantly, you remember thinking that Mike Schmidt was far too hot for his own good, a clear image in your mind of how he had greeted you with tired eyes, messy hair, and a hand gripping the doorframe.

"Mr. Schmidt," you had blurted, ignorant to how his nose scrunched at the words leaving your mouth, "It's nice to—"

"Don't tell me I look that old?" His tired expression tried a smile, and you found yourself standing there, unable to formulate a proper response as you were already convinced you messed up the job before you even started. "Just Mike is fine.”

Back then, the only thing you knew about him was that he was hot, overworked, and clearly exhausted. So you did your best to make his life easier, even if those things were small, like cleaning all the dishes before he came home, tidying up all the clutter left behind on the table and kitchen counter. It wasn’t much, but you figured he could use whatever help he could get. He came home the first night, too tired to even notice before collapsing on the couch. Suppressing a giggle, you threw a blanket over his sleeping form, lingering a moment longer than you should have just to observe his face. Even in his sleep, you weren’t sure you could find even an ounce of peace in his expression.

—

Mike remembers the first week of your babysitting, when he returned home at some ungodly hour that Friday. While most babysitters in the past opted to lay on the couch, sleeping or watching TV, he had discovered that you preferred to be a bit more proactive. That night, in particular, he recalled your humming in the kitchen, rinsing the dishes before placing them in the dishwasher.

A strange feeling filled his chest at the sight, the smell of dinner still lingering and the radio playing some old song from his childhood. It was a feeling he shouldn't have been feeling towards the babysitter looking after his little sister. You had jumped when the floorboard creaked beneath himself shifting weight, still shy and jittery around him at the time.

“I didn’t see you come in,” your voice is still shaken from the scare. You turned to the oven, “Oh! I kept the food warm, in case you wanted some. Are you hungry?”

“No, no, I’m fine,” he said, blinking a bit to shake the thoughts from his head, “Ah, you don’t have to do all this, you know. The cooking and cleaning stuff.”

“I don’t mind. It’s not like I have anything else to do,” you returned your gaze to the dishes in the sink, “Besides, you work hard. It’s the least I can do. Just let me take care of it.”

Just let me take care of it.

A phrase he hadn’t yet forgotten, either. When was the last time anyone had taken care of anything for him? He’d taken on the role of being Abby’s caretaker the moment his parents were out of the picture. He had made countless sacrifices, dropping out of school to work full-time, losing his social life. His old friends preferring to go out partying rather than hang out with the guy who has a kid sister and a full-time job. Every day was work, only to mess up at work. Then go home, stress over a dirty home. Drive Abby to school, stress over her education and development.

He didn’t have it within himself to deny you, not when you were so kind and helpful. Even if the guilt ate away at him, reminding him how he couldn’t even afford to pay you close to what you deserved.

His eyes wandered to an image on the counter. There was himself, a familiar stickman with brown hair. There was Abby, of course, given the height difference. And then there was another figure, the hair undeniably similar to yours. All three figures were holding hands together inside a square home.

“What’s this?” He picked it up.

“Abby told me it’s us,” you had laughed, placing a dish in the dishwasher. “Cute, right?”

There was a thumping in his chest as he looked at you, before looking back down at the paper. All he could manage was a smile as he pinned it to the fridge.

You soon felt his presence at your side, his hand picking up another dish while you rinsed yours.

“Let me help with that,” he said.

—

You’ve fallen into a routine. Every day, when he returns home, he is met with the same thing. You, in the kitchen, humming. You, greeting him with a smile. You, sitting down to eat with him. You, always asking him about his day even though you know by now that he has nothing interesting to say. He prefers to hear you talk instead, to listen to you ramble about your shitty college professors and annoying roommates. He likes it like this. To be able to pretend that he’s not some deadbeat who can’t hold down a job to save his life or some traumatized freak haunted by the memories of his dead brother and parents. With you, he gets to pretend like he’s normal.

But, of course, just because he can pretend things are normal, doesn’t mean they are. Reality soon hits him when he’s sitting in his boss’s office, asking Mike for his badge and ID. It hits him when he’s driving home, remembering how he beat an innocent man, his knuckles still bloody as he grips the steering wheel tight. He walks through the front door, hearing you greet him from the kitchen, a sound that would have been music to his ears any other day.

“Mike?”

He doesn’t have the energy to reply. No, all he can do is walk over to the chair in the living room, sinking into it with a sigh. He loosens his tie and closes his eyes, trying to ignore the sound of dishes clattering in the sink followed by your footsteps against the hardwood floor.

“Hey, you okay?” Your voice is soft and gentle. His eyes shoot open when he feels your even softer touch against his forehead, laying the back of your palm flat. “You’re not sick, are you?”

In all the time you’ve been babysitting, neither of you had done so much as touch each other at all. The few times he could remember was how your fingers brushed when you reached for the same dish in the sink or the innocent hand you placed on his shoulder that one time you laughed so hard you couldn’t hold yourself up. He had always made sure to keep his hands firmly placed in his pockets or at his side. Now, you were touching his face, and he thinks that’s the first time anyone has touched him like that in years.

“Don’t worry about me.” He pleads, his body betraying his words when he leans into your touch, your hand drifting to caress his cheek, “You don’t have to.”

You ignore him, and your eyes scan over his form, before landing on his bloodied knuckles. A gasp escapes you, followed by the scolding of his name. He hears you stumble towards the bathroom, rummaging through whatever you can find and returning with a washcloth and disinfectant. You kneel beside him, cleaning the dried blood from his wounds and he winced from the sting of the alcohol.

“I know I don’t have to,” you finally break the silence. “I worry because I care.”

“Why?”

You avert your gaze.

“I just do.”

“That’s not a good enough answer.” He presses. There’s another pause.

“Because this feels like home.”

The answer is enough to render both of you silent, you out of humiliation, and him out of shock because he hadn’t realized you thought the same way.

You finish wiping the last bit of dried blood from his knuckles and there’s a lingering feeling left on his skin, where your fingers held his hands. Soft. Familiar. You’re still kneeling in front of him, but you’re wearing an expression he hadn’t seen since the first week he met you. It’s that look of shyness, the way you used to squirm under his gaze or shrink your presence out of fear of overstepping a boundary.

“Mike?”

“Yeah?

“Let me take care of you. Please?”

He knows it’s wrong. He knows that “messing around with the babysitter” has never been a good idea in the history of ever, but when he sees you gazing up at him like that, sitting on your knees between his legs, your eyes wide like that. Well, what the fuck else is he supposed to do?

The chair isn’t too high from the floor, so he easily finds himself at somewhat your level when he leans forward, his hand lifting your chin to look him in the eye. He pauses, analyzing your face just for a moment. Your lips are parted, so prettily, and your eyes are filled with a look of lust and desperation.

“Please,” you repeat, this time in a whisper.

Any semblance of self-restraint he had before was all lost the moment his lips met yours. He hadn’t realized just how hungry he was until he got a taste, a groan escaping his throat when he feels your tongue in his mouth. And you, you are so pliant. So eager to please. Still timid, hands hesitant as they rested on his knees, but so willing to let him handle you however he pleases, moaning when he tugs on your hair, whimpering when his hands grope your chest through your shirt.

“Quiet,” he mutters between kisses. You feel him pull away, the ghost of his lips at your ear, “we gotta be quiet, yeah?”

You nod, and he kisses your forehead, a tender change from his rough kisses shared only moments prior. He looks down at you, a flustered mess, but knows he must look the same. He couldn’t even remember the last time he let himself indulge like this. He feels your hand slither up his thigh, fumbling with his belt, groaning when you feel him through his jeans.

“You’ve had a long day, haven’t you?” You ask, looking up at him through your lashes as your hand dips into his boxers.

“You have no idea,” he says, his hand caressing the side of your face, making circles with his thumb against your cheek. He can feel your skin heat up under his touch. Your hand wraps around his hardening cock, and he has to stop himself from bucking into you. You’re just so gentle and sweet and he knows you’d let him take his frustration out but he just cannot allow himself to do that just yet— not without a little guilt.

“Then talk to me.”

“Got, ah, fired,” he chokes out, feeling your thumb swipe over his tip, gathering his pre-cum and helping you stroke up and down with more ease. “Was my fault, too.”

“You started a fight, didn’t you?”

“Something like that.”

He looks down at you, his cock now fully hard in your hand. He can’t hold but admire the sight, how you hungrily stare at him, or how you press your thighs together to relieve yourself of your own desires. He feels his breathing become heavier with each passing stroke of your hand on his dick, and he forces himself to look away, his hand that had previously been caressing the side of your head now digging his fingers into the back of your scalp.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do now,” he leans his head back, in an attempt to stop himself from busting in your hand before you’ve even done anything. He swears he’s not usually this sensitive, but the fact that it’s been so long, and the fact that it’s you, had him feeling like he was a teenager getting his first handjob all over again. He tries not to think about it. “I’m already behind on bills. I don’t think I can even pay you. Probably won’t even get another fucking job after what I did.”

“You don’t need to pay me.”

“You’ve got to stop saying shit like that,” he shakes his head, almost in disbelief. He looks down at you again, and you’re pressing your lips to kiss the underside of his dick, then kissing his tip. He shudders. “You’re too good for this. For me.”

He’s about to continue, but your lips wrap around him and he can’t think of anything. Curse words slip from his lips, feeling your tongue work around him, your hot mouth taking him. He still has his hand on the back of your head, tempting him to force your head down, but he’s more curious about whether you’d try to take him all yourself— which you do. He feels your throat contract around him as you try to push yourself down his cock, determined to take it all. Sometimes, you really were that predictable. Sure, you were a timid little thing, but you were equally if not more stubborn. He grips the back of your head to pull you off, a cough rising to your throat as you catch your breath and he smiles lazily.

Your quick to take him back in your mouth, and he cherishes the feeling of his cock hitting the back of your throat, and your hands that reached for the base of him to stroke whatever you couldn’t take. He gives an experimental thrust and he’s in bliss when he hears you moan around him. And as much as he wishes he could do this forever, watching you take him in your mouth, he knows his own limits and he knows he won’t last any longer. Besides, he’s neglected your needs for far too long.

He pulls you off of his cock finally, tears stinging the corners of your eyes, your lips puffy from their earlier actions. Then, he’s lifting you to the couch, hovering over your form as your back hits the cushions. Mike is thankful that you chose to wear a skirt tonight because with your legs spread like this, he gets a full view of your white cotton underwear, as well as the wet patch your arousal has created. He brings his hand down between your legs, feeling you through the fabric. He can hear your breath hitch and he watches you bite down on your lower lip to suppress your noises. And as much as he wants to tell you not to, he is reminded by the fact that you are both doing this in the living room, and the last thing he wants to do is traumatize his little sister, who is sleeping a few doors down the hallway.

“Didn’t know you wanted me this bad,” he whispers, finally slipping his hand past the fabric barrier to gather your slick at his fingers and rub your clit with his thumb, his other fingers prodding at your hole but not yet entering.

“Wanted you for so long,” you admit, sucking in a breath when you feel his thumb circle around your clit again. “You’re really fucking hot.”

“Yeah?”

Two of his fingers finally sink into you and you’re gripping the fabric of his uniform at his shoulders. Rough, long and so much bigger than your own— you have to grit your teeth even harder to stop any sinful noises from escaping you.

“Always thought you were real pretty, too.” He continues, “You’re prettier right now, though.”

He continues to pump his fingers in and out of you, the wet sounds making you burn up in embarrassment. He’s obsessed with the way your eyes roll back, how your pretty lashes flutter open and closed, and how your hips buck to meet his rhythm.

“More, please,” you finally let out, your eyes going down to his cock, which was still very much hard. “Need you inside.”

You whimper at the emptiness you feel when his fingers leave, but quickly forget about it the moment your panties are removed and you feel his cock rub against your cunt, the tip resting at your entrance. You expect to feel him push in, only to see that he has paused.

“I don’t have any condoms,” he says, a pained look on his face. He had no reason to keep any around any more, not since providing for Abby had become his number one priority. He mentally kicked himself for it now.

“Mike,” you whine, trying to roll your hips up, but his hands remained firm against you, keeping you down. “I don’t care. Just pull out or something.”

You feel like a pathetic idiot for saying it, and he feels even more of one for considering it at all. All he can manage is a sigh. He’d already crossed so many lines tonight that he shouldn’t have. What difference would crossing one more be?

He hesitates before pushing in, but once he feels your tight walls around the head of his dick he can’t find it within himself to have any regrets. You’re so tight and warm and wet and he loves the way you stretch around him, gasping with every inch he gives you. He pauses when he’s buried at the hilt, mentally trying to cool himself down because the fact that he’s fucking you raw and you’re taking him so well is driving him mad.

“So good,” he coos, his hand on your face, thumb on your lower lip, “so fucking good.”

He pulls away until he’s nearly out again before thrusting into you fully, and he has to slam his hand over your mouth to stop the moan that would have escaped you. He continues to fuck you like this, slowly, and deeply, before it’s not enough, and he finds himself taking you faster, harder, wanting to see how much you were willing to take.

You feel every inch of him inside you, and you can’t help but clench around him every time the tip of his cock hits the spot inside you that you can’t reach with your own fingers. You feel so full and it’s everything and more that you’ve needed for so long.

He pushes up your shirt, revealing your cleavage. Your breasts are still covered by your bra, but he pinches your nipples through the lacy fabric anyway, content when he hears you make a sound, muffled by his other hand which remains on your mouth.

He can tell you’re close from the telltale sign of your pussy clenching harder, and how you start to freeze up, too fucked out to do anything else. He, too, starts to feel himself approaching his limit but knows he has to hold out long enough to let you reach your high first. He finally removes his hand from your mouth and uses it to rub your clit.

“Such a good girl,” he breathes.

“I’ll always be good for you,” you keep your voice a whisper, “Always waiting for you when you come home.”

Your words ignite a desire within him he never realizes he had. He had never considered himself too fond of domestic life until you came into his house and made it feel like home. Now, as he’s fucking you, the only thing he can think about is how deeply he wants to cum inside you, over and over again until he gives you another kid to take care of. He doesn’t care if he can’t afford it. He’ll pick up as many jobs as he can get just to take care of you.

He feels your back arch and your walls clench around him, immediately going to kiss you to swallow your cries. He ruts into you, over and over again and though there’s a sinful voice in the back of his head telling him to fill you up until he’s dripping out of you, he knows he should stay true to his promise to pull out. That is, until you tell him otherwise.

“You can do it inside,” you choke out, still fucked out from your orgasm, “I don’t mind—“

Before you can finish your sentence his hips come to a stop and he’s finishing inside you, as deep as he possibly can, as if to not waste a single drop. When he finally pulls out, he can’t help but watch in awe as his seed drips from your cunt down to your ass, ruining the couch cushions beneath you both. He tries not the think about the consequences that will bring. Instead, he’s pulling you close, catching his breath while laying his head against your stomach. Moments later, he feels your hand running your fingers through his hair and he sighs, leaning into your warmth.

“I don’t want you to be Abby’s babysitter anymore,” he starts, his voice hoarse and worn out. He can feel you tense up when he says it, before immediately continuing, “I want you to be my girlfriend.”

He hears you laugh.

“Does that mean I won’t get paid anymore?”

“I’ll repay you in other ways,” he flashes you a suggestive smile, earning him a snort and a flick on his forehead. Still, the guilt gnaws at him from within. “Seriously, though. I will. I’ll take care of you, too.”

He doesn’t care what job he picks up next. He’ll take any job in the world, so long as it means he can provide for you and Abby.

—

You wake up the next morning, the scent of pinewood and campfire surrounding you. You don’t remember exactly how, but you remember, after being fucked mercilessly, being carried to his room, cleaned up, and falling asleep in Mike’s bed. Now, you find the place next to you empty but can observe Mike standing at the door, speaking in a hushed voice while holding back the door.

You stand on shaky legs, still wobbly from your earlier affairs, approaching the argument.

“Abby, go away!”

“No! Let me—“

“What’s all this?” You interject.

Mike loses his grip on the door and Abby opens it wide. Her arms are crossed, adorning a frown while Mike is bringing his hands to his face.

“Abby, I can explain—“

“Why didn’t you tell me you guys were having a sleepover?” She fumes, “We could have built a pillow fort!”

[norman-fucking-reedus]

Okaay we’ve talked about Daryl with his daughter but lets talk about your pregnancy for a second..

I can imagine Daryl coming back late in the night, so tired and sore from a long day of work. You had only found out a few hours prior, and seeing the physical ache in his body you knew he could use some hopefully very good news.

“Hi there hunterman” You whispered, sliding his crossbow off his shoulders as he kicked his muddy boots off.

Daryl dropped his head down onto your shoulder, sighing heavily. “Hi”

A moment a silence passed, you simply combing your fingers through Daryl’s hair before gently guiding him to raise his head, eyes meeting yours.

“I have something to tell you” Daryl raised a brow, hands settling st your waist. “Not dyin’ are ya?” You giggled, shaking your head

Reaching for your back pocket, you pulled the test out and handed it to him, watching as he took it between his fingers with a confused gaze, which quickly turned into excitement.

“No way”

“Yes way. We’re gonna have a little Dixon”

Daryl wrapped his arms tightly around you, smile resting on his face until it slowly disappear, a set of tears following suit. He sniffled softly, and you raised your hands up to wipe his falling tears. “It’s okay, big guy.”

“Wha’ if m’not a good dad?” He whispered, and you rolled your eyes at him. “I wouldn’t have picked you if I didn’t think you’d be a perfect dad” You wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him passionately as his arm circled your waist, a hand sliding up your shirt and caressing the skin.

When you start to go through hormone changes and start forming a bump, Daryl becomes super protective of you. Much so to the point that it annoys you but he doesn’t care, he’ll literally die before someone lays a finger on his woman.

He strictly forbids you from leaving the walls, telling everyone on watch duty to not let you out no matter how much you yell, which in fact, yelled at them a lot. He also refused to let you carry anything that looked just a hair too heavy.

“Nope. Nah. Give ‘ere girl.”

“I can carry it, Dixon”

“I’on care, give it ta me”

He’ll forcibly take the item out your hand, because simply how dare you have to even lift a finger with that baby inside you.

I also honestly feel like Daryl would be really scared to have sex during your pregnancy. Now if its pleasure that you want, Daryl has no probably eating you out till your eyes are rolling and his jaw is cramping.

“I dun’ wanna hurt tha baby”

“Hurt them how?”

“..With m’dick??”

I think about the scene from Big Mouth when Jay fucks his pillow and screams “My dick is right next to the baby’s head” That’s all i’m gonna say about that

Daryl makes sure to give you half of his food, and you don’t have a choice but to take it. (Unless the baby says otherwise) He purposely hunts extra food for that you can have more to eat, especially the further you get along.

By the time you’re about seven months and very undoubtedly pregnant, Daryl would murder anyone in cold blood if they even looked at you wrong.

Although you were crabby and yelled a lot, he was at your complete beck and call. Daryl could only loving stare at you when you complained over something, thinking about how gorgeous you were and how lucky he was that you were the mother of his child.

“Nothing fits right anymore! My shoes don’t even fit”

“Ya don’ need yer shoes if ya never leave”

“I never leave ‘cause you keep me locked here like a fucking prisoner”

“M’keepin my pretty girls safe”

Lots of his clothes have been sacrificed considering you’re literally busting out of yours, and something predatory washes over him seeing your belly prutrude through his shirts.

Birth is definitely hard and Daryl definitely passed out once or twice, but being the man he is he forced himself to pull through for you, and the scars from your nails dragging down his flesh will be a fond memory followed by the sweet sound of loud crying.

You know how much Daryl loves kids, and you’re exhausted from all the pushing, so it only makes sense that he gets first hold. You watch with a small smile as Siddiq guides Daryl to take his shirt off, watching the burly man nervously but eagerly (and carefully) take his newborn into his large hands.

In that moment, cradling his very own precious babygirl, it felt like you were the only three people on earth. Daryl couldn’t take his eyes off the wiggling bundle of life in his arms, rocking slowly in the chair as he burned the image of her tiny little face into his mind.

As you stared at him, you couldn’t help but think about how you really did pick the perfect dad. Daryl Dixon, a hard, strong, intimidating man fear by many, who was now sitting softly, gently and quietly with his daughter laying ontop his bare chest, a large hand keeping her secured. Already a major daddys girl.

The baby stage is easily Daryl’s favorite, and he definitely gets up in the middle of the night when she starts crying or fussing.

I don’t think he’d put her down for a second, like you just won’t see Daryl without her hooked around his arm. He doesn’t bring her into the garage during bike repairs until shes older, not wanting to let his baby inhale toxic bike fumes.

Dog is her protector. Most dogs understand what babies are and how vulnerable to the world they are, so Daryl definitely trains Dog to stay by her side when he can’t be. Instead of sleeping on the couch Dog now sleeps right outside her crib.

On the one occasion when a group a raiders had started searching houses, yours having been one of the first, one of the men made the mistake of opening her door, Dog jumping swiftly into protective mode and clamping his canines into the mans leg.

When it comes to breastfeeding, I can imagine the extra lengths Daryl would go. He makes sure you have enough food and nutrients to produce, and totally massages your boobs when you complain about the soreness.

When she’s big enough to start wearing clothes rather than onesies, Daryl definitely finds lots of super cute girly stuff for her because well only the best for his girls. He spoils her totally rotten.

Maybe not completely, but y’know. Her first words end up being an adorably butchered version of Daryl’s name, one that makes him wanna cry and scream cause his daughters first words were his own name.

“Baryl!”

“Ohh good jobs mommas baby! That’s daddys name!”

“She- said- she said- she just- she”

“It’s okay, Baryl we all heard it”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★

[kkuramyeons]

five times – idol!sakura miyawaki x idol!reader

⋆ four times the idol wanted to give you her number + the one time she did.

pairing: sakura miyawaki x gidle!reader

info: idol! x idol! au, reader is a 00’ liner, and has been down bad for sakura for years despite being known as a playgirl amongst the industry, sakura is also down bad but can’t seem to take the hint or make a move, pining, fluff, gay panic.

wordcount: 2.2k

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆ ⋆

i.  the people are talking (let them talk)

“y/n-nnie! tell neverland what you’re most excited about attending the golden disk awards!” ushered minnie as she waved you over to where staff where recording a behind the scenes for your channel’s I-talk.

“aside from our $$$ perfomance and award nomination… i’m very excited to see if I can meet iz*one, i’m a big fan!” you excitedly replied as you sat down on the couch next to minnie.

“oh, is that so?” the older girl smirked as she watched you get flustered at her answer.

before you could reply, a booming voice came from the other side of the room, “yah! y/n-nnie is only excited because she has a huge crush on saku-“ yuqi started, but was cut off by soojin, who ushered her to stop teasing you.

“yah! stop teasing, unnie!” came your reply as your face flushed red, almost having your private business aired to the public.

the teasing continued in the background between you and yuqi while minnie, shuhua and soojin tried to distract the camera by answering more questions and making conversation.

⁂

flashes and shouts from the paparazzi filled the air as iz*one made their way towards the red carpet of the 33rd golden disk awards, excitement buzzing through the members as they posed for the cameras, directed by the mc.

after expressing their feelings on the rookie award nomination, and striking some more poses, the group made their way down the carpet and into the venue, as fans and more paparazzi shouted questions at them.

as sakura made her way behind hyewon, someone had asked her what she thought about g-idle’s performance the day before, to which she curtly replied that she loved it, mentioning your short rap as her favorite part of the performance.

finally, inside the venue, sakura sat down in her assigned seat, when chaeyeon asked if she knew you.

“eh?” came the reply from the japanese idol.

“i’m just saying, someone told me y/n unnie is fond of you. if you want to meet her, just let me know,” shrugged the blonde.

“are you guys talking about y/n?” came a hushed whisper from nako. “i heard she’s  already in a dating rumor with a trainee from jyp, you should be careful with a girl like that unnie.”

“i don’t even know her, she’s just interesting, that’s all” sakura replied, playing with the gem of her dress.

“well, she seems sweet. so, if you ever want to meet her, just let me know,” replied chaeyeon as the conversation switched topics.

“maybe I will,” mumbled sakura, switching her attention to the start of the award show, trying to pay no mind to the hushed whispers around her.

ii.  the puppy interview

after months of hard work and preparing for a comeback, calvin klein had contacted you to become a brand ambassador, with the opportunity to work alongside other idols and well-known photographers in the industry.

you had ambassador offers from gucci, fendi, and savage x fenti, to name a few. known for your visuals, rapping and producer skills (often called a mini soyeon because of this), you wanted something else to add to your list of things you brought to the table. when working with a label like cube, you had to be prepared to keep the lights on in the building, alongside your members, of course.

and that’s how you ended up doing some solo promotions in the states, as well as promoting your first english single and collaboration with calvin klein.

you sat in a blank set, sitting on the floor with a pastel pink backdrop in the back, trying to make sure every puppy in front of you was equally petted and cared for.

“ah! this is a good question, and believe it or not, I don’t think we get this one very often,” you said in an amused tone as you read it out loud to the cameras in front of you.

“who’s your celebrity crush?” smirking, you picked up one of the puppies and set it in your lap, while grabbing another to do the same.

“hm, I would have to say sakura from le sserafim. she recently changed her hair and I think it makes her look very beautiful. really brings out her eyes,” you mused, hands already busy with searching for another question from the bowl, excited to see how your members and fans would react to the answer.

⁂

the le sserafim members were all sat around a table, cameras pointed at them as they read some comments on live while eating several snacks.

“oh! kkura unnie!” exclaimed eunchae with a grin as she passed snacks to kazuha who accepted them with open arms.

“hm?” came the short reply from the oldest member.

“someone is asking how you reacted at y/n sunbaenim revealing that you were her celebrity crush!”

suddenly, four pair of eyes were on the oldest member, since everyone knew about sakura’s evident crush on you.

“eh?! oh… i was very flattered,” the oldest replied while seemingly trying to keep herself busy with some chips, as her face flushed from the sudden attention on her.

“you should exchange numb-“ yunjin’s loud reply from the other side of the table came, chaewon quickly cutting her off with reading another comment from the section, not really wanting any of her members in a dating scandal so early into their career as a group.

sakura spared a thankful glance at the leader, thinking that maybe, yunjin was right, and that she should remind herself to ask chaewon to give miyeon her number so she could pass it on to you.

iii.  run in at hybe

“they really had to leave me in the back of this building, damn” you grumbled as you made your way through the back corridors of the hybe building, in search of the studio where new jeans would be at, so you could help them record some songs for their upcoming album.

after walking around the same spot for a few minutes, you impatiently grabbed your phone from your pocket and started searching for the other producer’s number so you could ask for directions, seeing as your incredible sense of direction was getting you nowhere.

what you didn’t account for though, was literally bumping into what you thought was a wall while you made your way inside the building with your nose stuck in your phone.

“i’m so sorry for bumping into you like that!” exclaimed a voice, hand outstretched to help you up from the floor.

“oh! that’s …” you trailed off, staring up at big doe eyes while you got up from the floor.

regaining your composure and with both feet planted on the floor, you gave an amused grin to the woman in front you.

“it’s a pleasure to finally see you in person, sakura,” you greeted, bowing your head at the older idol.

flustered and with the tip of her ears turning red, the black-haired woman let out a weak chuckle before greeting you back, asking if you needed any directions or any help from her.

when you explained your visit’s purpose, sakura wasted no time in directing you to where new jeans would be at, making small talk on the way to the recording room.

the older woman dropped you off a few doors down from your destination, since her practice room was on the way, and she needed to get back to her training schedule.

watching as your figure entered the studio, she slowly started to enter her designated practice room, pausing when you winked at her before closing the door to the studio and making your way fully inside.

arriving back to practice all red and flustered, sakura slid inside the practice room and leaned against the nearest wall, sighing with her right hand on her chest, near her heart, trying to control her erratic heartbeat as she processed what had just happened, and how she didn’t get your number- again.

iv.  jennifer huh strikes again

“okay, hanni , could you sing that line again? I want it to sound more light, airy even.” you instructed the new jeans member from the other side of the recording booth, after volunteering to help produce one of your written songs and another track for the group’s debut album.

you received a thumbs up, which was a signal that the younger idol was ready to give it another go.

“meet me back in five if i matter… to you,” sang the idol, meeting your eyes after that last take.

“perfect! it’s exactly how i pictured it sounding in my head!” came your reply in the recording booth, as you all headed outside the booth for a much-needed break after a day of introductions and recordings. you made it clear to the team behind the album that you wanted the members involved in the process of creating their album, even offering them a chance to write and edit some of your drafts.

“i’ll get some coffee and i’ll be back in 15 to wrap up for today,” you said as you passed the younger idols, with everyone’s coffee orders in hand.

once you opened the door to leave, you were met with jet black hair and a tall female figure at the door.

“hello! y/n sunbaenim! my name is huh yunjin from le sserafim, and after hearing you were here today, I wanted to introduce myself and give you my number to see if you would be interested in helping me produce and record one of my songs,” said the idol with a deep bow.

“oh! hello yunjin. it’s something i might be interested in. since i’m in a rush today, let me give you my number and just text me the demos you have so far and I’ll listen when I can and get back to you, does that sound good?”

the younger girl rapidly nodded her head while shaky hands wrote down your contact information.

with a wave and a small smile, you made your way to the nearest cafe.

yunjin quickly texted the group chat, in disbelief that she actually succeeded her goal.

still a bit nervous from the interaction, yunjin giggled as sakura’s reply lit up her screen.

from: hot girl yunjin

to fearless idols

i’ve done in five minutes what sakura couldn’t do in three years.

from: gaymer kkura

to: fearless idols

i hope the label doesn’t mind having four members.

from: cutest maknae

to: fearless idols

no unnie don’t leave us! T.T

from: gaymer kkura

to: fearless idols

who said i was the one leaving?

v. eunchae’s star diary

after wrapping up the interview with shuhua, eunchae looked around to see if the staff were focused on the two maknaes, but since everyone was busy giving thank yous and

wrapping up, the black-haired girl moved towards her guest with a piece of paper in between her index finger and thumb.

“shuhua unnie! thank you so much for being on the show, I have something to give you before you leave!” the youngest of the two exclaimed as she walked the raven-haired girl outside the filming room.

“ah, eunchae-ssi, thank you for the invitation. that reminds me, I have something for you as well!” the oldest smiled, pulling a piece of crumbled paper out of her hoodie pocket.

eunchae’s eyes widened in anticipation, as she reminded herself of the task at hand, which was to get her oldest unnie a girlfriend (hopefully).

“this is from y/n-nnie, for sakura sunbae,” shuhua whispered as she handed the paper slip to eunchae.

“oh! this is from sakura unnie to y/n sunbaenim as well!” eunchae grinned as both maknaes exchanged paper slips.

“huh, who would’ve thought they had the guts to contact each other,” shuhua giggled as she looked at eunchae with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“mhm, who wouldve thought. good for them though, right?” asked eunchae as she smirked at the oldest of the two.

“mhm. good for them…” shuhua trailed off, being waved over by her manager, signaling that it was time to leave.

“well! thank you again eunchae! you have my number if you need anything! i’m positive we succeeded this time! fighting!” trailed off shuhua as she made her way to the exit along the long corridor.

the youngest giggled at her antics and waved her off, delighted that her plan would surely succeed.

+1 bonus:

from: unknown

hey, it’s sakura. eunchae said shuhua gave me your number?

to: sakura the loml

we meet again, sakura-ssi. funny thing, shuhua said eunchae gave her your number to pass along to me. it’s interesting how things work out, huh?  

[brnesblogposts]

Something to avoid your wip.

Of course only when you’re comfortable with it. How about Bucky takes care of reader who has anxiety?

And he is just a sweetheart? Maybe best friends to lovers?

Bucky barnes x reader with anxiety

i think i hate this and im also not sure if this is an accurate anxiety description even though i have it this might be a very personal to me kind of situation

It’s a team bonding day and Tony has dragged everyone out to a restaurant for dinner, you were anxious for it but you mentally prepared yourself and told yourself the usuals like ‘it’ll be over within a couple hours’ or ‘you don’t have to eat if you don’t feel like it.’ This time they weren’t working though.

As soon as you got into the car with Sam and Bucky either side of you and Natasha up front with the driver your palms started sweating and you felt nauseous and your flight or fight response was telling you to get out of there and run to your bed where you felt safe.

Bucky noticed your anxious demeanour instantly, you and him were really close as you were the recluses of the group, liking your own space and not being too fond of crowds or partying. He gently lay a hand on your thigh to let you know he was there, it was grounding and when he started stroking up and down your leg it took your mind off of the anxious feelings a little bit.

The car journey was manageable with Bucky doing everything he could to make you feel better like letting you fidget with his metal hand. When you arrived at the restaurant he helped you out of the car and the thoughts came racing back and you started pacing back and forth and flapping your hands to try calm yourself.

“Are you okay?” Sam had asked but you ignored him focusing on self soothing.

“You guys go on in i’ll stay here with her for a second” Bucky quietly told the concerned group before turning around and frowning at how anxious and worked up you were.

“Doll” He gently called out to you, knowing when you were like this you didn’t like talking.

“You don’t have to talk back okay? But i’m so proud of you for coming out tonight, I know you didn’t want to and I know it’s hard for you but no expectations okay? We can stay out here as long as you need to and even then if you don’t feel like seeing everyone I can get the driver to drop us back at the compound and we can do whatever you want.” His sweet voice helped sooth you a bit as you took deep breathes. After a few minutes you turned to look at him.

“What do you wanna do, sweetheart? Wanna Go home or do you wanna try the restaurant?” Bucky knew you’d already pushed yourself by getting in the car alone and he didn’t want to cause a complete meltdown by forcing you into another uncomfortable situation.

“I wanna try” You whisper quietly, you hated not being able to do normal things and lately had been trying to push yourself more and more.

“Okay” Bucky nodded and gave you a reassuring smile sticking his hand out for you in case you wanted to hold it but you shook your head and pointed to his metal one instead. He instantly understood that you found the cold metal to be soothing. You took his metal hand and a deep breathe and the both of you approached the restaurant.

“There they are!” Tony shouted as the both of you went to take your seats which were luckily next to each other, you tried your best to fake a smile as you sat down not letting go of Bucky’s hand.

Everyone was chatting away and laughing having fun, you were looking at the menu but the thought of even seeing food made you feel ill so you pushed it away and of course Bucky noticed.

“If you don’t eat here you promise me you’ll eat when we get home?” He asks, he doesn’t get upset if you don’t eat out as he understands when you’re anxious that’s the last thing you want to do. You nod in response and he kisses your temple as you lean your head on his shoulder still taking deep breathes because you want to be able to get through it.

A little while later as you’re still fiddling with Bucky’s metal hand you hear your name being called in the distance, eventually you snap out of it and notice Natasha is asking you a question, all eyes are on you all of a sudden and the weight of their gazes sends you into a panic and before you know what you’re doing you’re racing out of your chair and out of the restaurant letting the cool air hit you as you start to sweat and shake and cry not just because of the anxiety but because you couldn’t be normal and sit through a dinner.

Not even a minute later Bucky comes running out frantic but when his eyes land on you he lets out a sigh as he sees you crouching outside the restaurant dry heaving, it got too much for you. He can’t help but feel as if it’s partially his fault.

“It’s okay, i’m here, you’re okay” He reassures you as he keeps his distance as not to stress you out anymore.

“Wanna go home” You say through broken sobs and heavy breaths and he instantly pulls out his phone and tells the driver to pull up. You’re so out of it and disassociated you don’t notice him coaxing you up and into the car, buckling you in and sitting on the other side keeping a close eye on your shaking form.

When the car pulls up outside of the compound Bucky is quick to get out and go around the other side of the car to open the door and help you out. He walks you to your room and helps you get dressed into comfy clothes and wipe your makeup off, he settles you into bed and is about to leave when you grab his arm and silently ask him to stay, he understands straight away and climbs in beside you, holding you close. Laying your head on his chest listening to the soft beats of his heart, eventually you fall asleep feeling safe and relaxed knowing Bucky is there with you.

“Sleep well babydoll, I love you.” Bucky whispers into your hairline before giving you a soft kiss.

i kind of rushed the ending once they got in the car to get home because this has been in the drafts for days i’m sorry

[dozing-marshmallow]

hi! i was wondering if you could write duncan and courtney dating headcannons with a fem reader on the show? (separate) if not that's ok!

Awww no, it is okay! Thank you so much for the request, enjoy!<33

DATING COURTNEY HEADCANONS

From what we know about Courtney, it wasn’t hard to guess that her type was someone contrasting her.

So you were a bit of a cheeky contestant.

Okay, “a bit” was an understatement. Courtney didn’t like to admit it, but she found jubilation in your many ploys on the show.

Because of them though, she’d be on the assumption that you weren’t taking the competition seriously (even though you weren’t actually there to win the money), but you appreciate her reminding you to focus on the game and her helpful tips.

She wouldn’t want to openly say you guys are in a relationship as she’s aware that some people may try to exploit that for their own motives, but makes it clear that you’re off limits.

At night, you often share a bunk with her. Courtney would insist to be the little spoon, all the way through to the morning with her head on your chest.

Your darling Princess!

She loves sharing school stories with you.

“They actually had to rush her to the ER! Can you believe the manners some people have? How much of a litterbug do you have to be to throw your juice box out of a window from the fourth floor? We have bins for a reason!”

“Woah... So your teacher got a concussion from someone doing that?”

“Yeah! It sounds pathetic, but it’s what happened! The school assigned me to be in charge of delivering work from her and delivering notices to her. Makes sense since I was the only qualified student to take up that responsibility while still ace all my classes!”

She’s also fond of discussing hair with you and you play with hers and vice versa.

You like giving her little plaits, ponytails or a bun as high as it can go.

Additionally, she tries persuading you to do karaokes with her.

“It’s way better if we don’t have any instruments! You have nothing to hide behind and we’ll get used to being vulnerable with each other!” she smiled when she said it.

Looks like that couldn’t apply to her,“Oh, man...”

Though she’s a perfectionist, she loves complimenting you a lot.

“If you took that cap off your head and wore a headband instead, you’d look even more adorable! Would you do it for me at least?”

And her occasional feedback.

“What do you mean you haven’t read a single book this entire year!?” she jumps to her feet, horrified.

“Courtney, relax! It’s not a big deal.” you try to assure her with a grin.

She was more shaken at your presumably clueless behaviour to reading,“No, it is a big deal! You can’t just have everything on the outside and nothing in here!” she taps a tense finger to the side of her head,“My girlfriend’s gotta have brains with her beauty! I’m not dating no dummy!”

So she ordered you to sit down on the entrance steps of the Killer Bass cabin while she searched for a novel to give you- girl brought ten.

Out of her choices, she decided to provide you with Mercy Among The Children.

“There!” she hands you the clean copy, no crease or wrinkle, like all brand new,“You will read all of that and when you’re done, you will answer ten summary questions that I came up with to show me how much you learnt. And I will know if your answers are accurate, because I happened to give a presentation on this very book! I did it with ease thanks to my experience as a CIT.” her CIT talks got tedious very quickly, however if it made her happy, you didn’t want to take that away from her.

Therefore you gave something of your own instead,“What if I don’t know how to read?” you knew such question would aggravate her.

She shakes her head in disbelief, perfect autumn hair swaying,“Oh, you’re gonna have to do a lot better than that! You read the fine print of the contract to participate, didn’t you?”

Nope, but let’s pretend you did.

After a few seconds of “reading”, you call her name, to where she sat next to you, watching.

“What’s on your mind now?”

“I uh...” you turn to the back of the book, eyes scanning over the blurb,“Kinda don’t like the voice in my head narrating this. Could you read it to me?”

It seemed this request had halted her brain for a moment as she had stared at you with eyelids split apart again before her loving reprimand frolicked in the air,“Are you crazy? (Y/N), you know I love you, but I can’t do that! You gotta do this on your own, get used to reading in your head! How will you do in an exam when you have to stay quiet? I refuse to hear you getting disqualified over something as little as that!”

She’s so irresistible when she gets worked up,“Then I’ll transfer to your school so I can hear your voice everyday and be sure to pass my next exam.”

Her aim to lecture you had evaporated,“Oh wow...“ her eyebrows sprung back and she couldn’t believe herself for laughing at your not so futile charm,“Okay okay, just this once!” she declares, gently taking back the novel with both hands so it was still open.

As Courtney’s elegant voice embellishes the passage written down on the pages, you make promise to yourself to continue reading it in your own time.

After all, you know she’s just looking out for you.🤎

DATING DUNCAN HEADCANONS

You thought he asked you out as a joke, but he was serious.

Serious in love.

And he loved to be open about it. Not with words, but with his arm around you, calling your name.

He sprayed your hair for a day to see how green would look on you, however you got worried when it didn’t come out.

He would share stories from juvie and usually had an edible treat to give you as you talked. You always thought he had brought a stash of sweets, but looking at his luggage, you realise there was no way any high caliber food could survive in it.

“Mm, thanks Duncan! Where did you get this from?”

He winked,“Don’t worry about it.”

So you didn’t.

Duncan’s surprisingly very good at drawing; you use that talent as a couple’s activity.

He also likes drawing his initials on your arms with a marker, never forgetting to add a skull.

Loves playing with your hands and placing his one on your leg.

Sometimes you wear his shirt or use it as a blanket.

While Duncan wouldn’t really like to hug in public, he’d do gestures like rubbing your head or squishing your face.

He fantasises you someday getting a matching piercing, since you refuse to let him give you one.

“This nose piercing wasn’t painful, like a lot of wet wussies say, but it is a bit uncomfy for a few days. You sure you don’t want me to pierce ya? It’s free of charge~”

The treatment for the infection won’t be,“No thanks! I might decide to pierce my ears!”

“Ear piercing?” his face scrunched like the choice was boring, but his voice held hope,“Where exactly?”

“The lobe would be nice... But I’d also want to get one on the inside! Like industrial!”

“Now you’re talking.” Needless to say, he approved of those ones.

Duncan’s a night owl, so found his favourite part of the day being at night, when everyone else was certainly asleep. You two would go out to a different part of Camp Wawankwa every time to breathe in the wildlife air and have conversation crafted for the dark.

The first nights, you were hesitant. Your chest was tight. It was hard to enjoy the secluded moment with Duncan when your mind was racing with panic.

“Oh Duncan... What if someone sees us? I don’t wanna get in trouble...”

“We won’t. We’re not doing anything wrong.” his calm tone of voice somewhat helped, head swivelling to the closest functioning camera duck tapped on a tree,“The worst Chris’ll do is tell us to go back inside, though knowing him, he probably doesn’t care.”

You trace a finger on his chest,“I wish I could sleep with you in your cabin. But the girls would be suspicious if my bed was empty, and let’s not talk about what the guys would do.”

“Keen, huh?” his unibrow forms a squiggly line as one of the separate eyebrow bones upreared, making you push him gently out on exposed instinct,“I’m pretty sure everyone knows about us by now and the guys would be fine if you crashed in for a night or two.”

“I know...” Duncan’s friends were nice guys. When they wanted to be,“I just don’t wanna make anyone uncomfortable.”

His laugh gets clogged by his nose,“You? Make anyone uncomfortable? Babe, trust me, unless your name starts with H and ends in arold, you don’t gotta worry about being alienated. If it means that much to you, we can wait until more people go home for us to share a bed.”

Ohh! You had forgotten about the competition and how it worked! Love makes you forget about the everyday things like the collection of the fires supplementing the sky just being rocks floating in space,“Until more people go home... How...will we make sure it’s not us?”

“Welll. I like you so that’s one less person to vote for you.” he starts,”The rest of the guys like you so you can count them out. Now for the chicks... Anyone you think wants you gone?”

Instantly, someone came to mind,“Heather,” your boyfriend makes gagging noises at the name, vining a smile on your lips,“Ever since I turned down her offer to join her alliance, I must’ve ended up on her watch list. Sure, we can act civil, but I can tell she���s impatiently waiting for my elimination.”

He snorts, brushing his hand on your back,“Seriously? Chicks hold a grudge over anything! Well, that alliance of hers can’t be doing so good when one of her so called members don’t even like her, so it’s not like you’re missing out on anything.”

“True... I get to enjoy the Duncan instead,” you look into his blue vision for that, seeing his irises sprout in ardour. You leave a tangible mark of your lips on his, finding your eyes wondering to a large robust tree not so far away from where Duncan held you,“I wonder... Do you think we could secretly build our own secret treehouse?”

“Up there?” he follows your gaze and whistles,“It is possible... All I’ll need are some tools to steal from Chef and it’ll be there in no time.”

“Duncan!” his romantic selfless take on your suggestion is piled over by his out of place mention of Chef’s inventory, which clicks something to your attention,“Is that...where you’ve been getting the snacks from?”

An unbeaten chuckle rippled out of his ribs, how carefree he was,“Looks like the cat got outta the bag!”💚

[bitethedevil]

what annoys me the most about "canonically bad in bed", a list

- this is coming from hist LITERAL DILDO, like sorry he is not trying to pleasure his dildo, DO YOU PLEASE YOUR DILDO OR YOURSELF WHEN U GET OFF??? (totally understand haarlep is unhappy #freehaarlep but that is not the topic of this treatise)

- masturbation is always auto-erotic. e.g. almost all pornography directed at straight men shows men glorification of THEIR role in a sex situation, almost all erotica directed at straight women shows THEM being desired, it is always abt u and ur ego

- being "good" or "bad" in bed is a normative bullshit question I am frankly annoyed tav can even ask, because different people like different things, and this game is otherwise a lot better written about sex and gender stuff. also if you play haarlep's game, tav lies there like a starfish doing nothing at all, and haarlep likes it?? we should get rid of normative sexual evaluations of others smh

- there are people who like topping, people who like bottoming, frankly this is kinda toxic homophobic/misogynistic "haha, he was the one *getting* fucked all the time" implying a. the fuck-ee is dominated by the fuck-er and fucking is a violent act of dominance (untrue), and b. bottoms are somehow lesser than tops? so much wrong with this!!

- if I recall correctly haarlep just says raphael was bad in bed and always on bottom, and nothing about how long he lasts, and then the only way tav can use this knowledge to provoke raphael is by ASSUMING he doesn't last for very long, which is like wtf? why would u shame someone with some made-up toxic sex norms/assume they try to last when they masturbate? (even in case haarlep does say raphael cums too soon, shaming people for cumming too quick is such an incredibly mean thing, they can't control it)

- it is kinda sad (and toxic ngl) that raphael cares about haarlep so much and can't deny him anything and is so obsessed with this person who hates him and is dependent on him, giving strong toxic hetero relationship vibes. raphael, u can't have a relationship with someone who u control baby that is just not how it works lil guy, are u too scared u are not good enough for someone who will choose u of their own free will, are u scared they will leave u babygirl

to conclude we know absolutely nothing about raphael's sexual preferences, we just know haarlep is (rightfully) angry at him and being a slave, and raphael has ego issues which like come one we already knew that from day 1

I’m completely with you anon. The only thing I would like to comment on (and this is just my own interpretation) is the fact that Raphael can’t deny Haarlep anything. I don’t think that’s out of any fondness, I completely think its through Haarlep’s magic…which…just kind of makes it worse since Haarlep is there to spy on him for Mephistopheles. You saw how hard it was for Tav to deny him use of their body and mind. I’d imagine it works the same way with Raph, even though he’s a cambion. In my mind, the whole dynamic between Haarlep and Raph is fucked and Raphael is just trying to make the most out of a bad situation (I wrote a whole post on it a little while back, but it is of course just my own interpretation). Which just makes it even WORSE that Tav behaves the way they do about the whole thing. Like damn. I’d be mad as hell too.

I might write a standalone post on the weird discourse on Raphael’s sex-life at some point because it does somewhat fascinate me. Everyone is entitled to their own interpretation of any work, and that is something I hold sacred. What bothers me sometimes is the way that people talk about it. For example, the problematic way of portraying tops/bottoms and the shaming part that you also talked about in this ask.  

What bothers me even more is when people feel the need to drag that interpretation into fan-spaces to reduce the character to just those aspects as a “gotcha”. I don’t know if that is just me, but if there’s characters that I don’t like, I don’t even use their tags. I’ve written a couple of hate posts on the Emperor. They might show up under the tag just because Tumblr’s algorithm is weird, but I’ve never tagged them with the character’s name, just in case there are fans who use the tag and find that annoying.

Anyway…Thank you so much for the ask! I completely agree with you.

[e-dubbc11]

Happy Winter Sleepover! ❄️

“Out of Left Field” universe reader takes Billy on a date, or tries to make good Christmas memories for Billy maybe.

My lovely friend ♥️

It makes me smile knowing how much you enjoy this little universe. I hope you enjoy what I did here and thank you SO much for sending in as many asks as you did. I appreciate you ♥️

The Perfect Pitch

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: Fluffy bunnies and unicorns, a swear word or two(I think)

Word Count: 1.9K-ish

Summary: Billy tells you a secret. You plan a date and a surprise to try and give him a happy holiday memory

A/N: Part of the Out of Left Field universe. I’ll link parts one and two under the author’s note

PART 1

PART 2

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

“But he said he doesn’t really like Christmas, Jackie.” You said with a slight frown on your face.

Jackie had a tough day at work so she needed a drink and some girl time.

You explained to her that Billy grew up in a group home until he aged out and joined the marines. He doesn’t have a lot of fond memories of that place and definitely doesn’t have any fond Christmas memories.

“Well maybe you can give him one.” She said with a warm smile, taking a sip of her drink. “He loves you and he would love anything you did for him. Shit, he DOES love everything you do for him!” She exclaimed.

At first, Billy didn’t exactly know how to react to someone doing something nice for him. It had been six months since your first date and you did little things for Billy to make sure he knew how much you meant to him which he loved.

“Oh like the first time I brought him coffee at his office?” You said, cracking a smile. “Ya know he fired that guy that wouldn’t tell me where his office was when I walked in?”

“Of course he did! See, he REALLY loves you!” She said.

It was mundane things like bringing him coffee or leaving little notes in his jacket pocket, “I love you, handsome,” that made him soft for you.

You would have to do some serious thinking but you were going to try and give Billy Russo at least ONE happy Christmas memory.

**********

Enjoying an after dinner bourbon with Billy was very relaxing and romantic especially back at his penthouse where you could be alone and it’s quiet. On a clear chilly evening, the city lights outside dimly lit up the inside of the living room while you sat and talked with him.

It had taken some time but he opened up a little more to you, as long as you didn’t push too hard, he was willing to share.

With your legs draped over his lap, you took a sip of your drink and continued to lightly scratch his scalp with your nails. He loved it; he told you it helped him relax.

“That feels nice, sweet girl.” He hummed as a wide smile stretched across his lips. “How was your day, baby?” He asked.

“Walked past Rockefeller Center today. They were starting to put up the Christmas tree.” You said.

Billy looked at you with a slight smile.

“Can I tell you a secret, my love?” He asked.

You set your drink down on the coffee table with excitement because Billy wanted to share a secret with you. Sitting up on your knees and resting your elbow on top of the couch, you smiled and replied, “Of course you can, handsome. Tell me!”

Billy glanced down at the dark amber liquid in his glass for another minute before turning his head to look at you again. The little lines around his dark chocolate eyes crinkled when he flashed a childlike smile at you.

“I know I told you I’m not a big fan of Christmas but…I do really love Christmas lights. I’ve lived in New York my entire life and I’ve never seen them light that tree.” He said, tilting the glass back and forth.

Slowly, you inched your face closer to his, cupped his cheek and brushed his beard with your thumb. You gave him a warm smile before your lips captured his in a tender kiss.

You whispered against his lips. “Well maybe we can remedy that, baby.”

**********

You didn’t like to ask for favors, you loathed it actually but you were very close to your uncle who was the manager of the 620 Loft & Garden on 5th Avenue. You asked him if there was any way that you and Billy could watch the tree lighting from the rooftop…alone.

He pulled some strings and made sure the two of you would be alone when they lit the tree. He said you probably wouldn’t be able to stay up there long after they light it but he’d definitely make it happen.

“Thank you SO much Uncle Mark! I just can’t wait to see the look on his face.” You said excitedly and hugging him tightly.

“He must be very special for you to do this for him, y/n.” He said, squeezing you back.

Tears stung the back of your eyes before you replied, “He is…Billy deserves it. He does so many thoughtful things for me, I just wanted to show him that kind of love in return.”

Billy had no idea what day or what time they actually lit the Rockefeller Christmas tree so this was going to be a complete surprise for him. He just assumed you wanted to take him out for a burger and a beer after work that following Wednesday.

You had your evening planned right down to the minute they lit up that tree. Thankfully it wouldn’t be too cold that night; it’s a lot easier to stand outside on the roof of a tall building when it’s not freezing cold.

Bill’s Bar & Burger was the restaurant underneath the 620 Loft & Garden. Your reservation was for around 8 and they lit the tree around 10. The butterflies in your stomach felt like they were fighting to get out because you were so excited to do this for him.

Patiently, you waited for him to pick you up. He always insisted on coming up to your apartment to get you. Billy texted to say that he was going home to change first and then he would be over to pick you up around 7.

Billy had a long day, you could tell he was tired and he was hinting that he just wanted to get something to eat quickly and go home so you had to figure out a way to get him to stay out until the tree lighting.

He smiled his way through dinner as you told him all about your day and he told you about his which was filled with meetings and training. Your day wasn’t nearly as busy as his but he had a lot of responsibility, you could understand why he was tired at the end of the day.

You had to think fast because Billy just wanted to go home with you after eating.

“My uncle is the manager of the rooftop venue of this building. He said we could check it out after dinner, bring our drinks…that sorta thing. They decorate for the holidays and he always sends me pictures but I’ve never seen it for myself.” You said.

With a tired smile, Billy said, “Sure beautiful, we can check it out. Better than bein’ out on the street right now. Why are there so many people out there anyway?” He asked, his slight New York accent pushing through a little harder. That happened sometimes when he was tired, you thought it was sexy.

You knew exactly why there were so many people outside but you just shrugged and acted like you had no idea why.

It was around 9:30 when the two of you took your drinks and made your way up to the roof. Walking around, the perfectly shaped shrubs were tastefully decorated with white lights and red ribbons.

You wanted to take a picture of Billy’s face and childlike smile when he stepped out onto that rooftop but you still had about 20 minutes before the tree was going to be lit and there was only so much stalling you could do.

“It’s nice up here, baby.” Said Billy looking around at the lights.

He didn’t look over the edge to where you could see Rockefeller center and the tree.

“It is really pretty.” You replied.

He took the final sip of his beer and said, “So, ya ready to go? It’s nice up here but it’s a little cold, my love.”

Shit.

You were out of stalling tactics; you didn’t know how else to keep him busy for a few more minutes.

Thinking fast, you said, “Well come here handsome, let me see if I can warm you up a little.”

You snaked your arms around his neck as you looked into his endless brown eyes that were shining against the bright white lights. Billy wrapped his long arms around your waist and pulled you flush to his body as his lips crushed against yours.

They were chilled and a little dry but you definitely welcomed his kiss and kept kissing him, parting your lips slightly as his tongue pressed against your teeth, desperately wanting to entwine with yours.

After taking a couple of pictures, Billy had nice long arms that were perfect for taking selfies, you had to go one floor down and out onto the deck to get the perfect view of the tree. Pulling him down the stairs, you opened one of the corner doors and stepped outside once again.

“Sweet girl, I thought we were done. I’m ready to—What’s all that noise?” He asked looking over your shoulder at all the people that were standing around the Rockefeller skating rink.

You heard people counting down.

“3-2-1!!!”

After hearing the number one, the Rockefeller tree came to life and you watched the color lights reflect against his eyes, taking him completely by surprise. A genuine smile stretched across his lips as he gazed at the tree and then over to you.

“You’re not the only one full of suprises, Mr. Russo.” You said, returning the smile and kissing his cheek. “I thought, well anyone can watch the tree lighting from the ground but how can I make it extra special?”

Billy didn’t know what to say so he just kissed the top of your head.

“You planned all of this for me, baby?” Asked Billy.

He still looked like he was processing what just happened.

“I may not be able to arrange a private tour of Yankee Stadium but I wanted to do something special for you, Billy.” You said. “I know you don’t exactly have any good memories from this time of year but I thought maybe I could give you at least one because…you deserve it, baby.”

Billy’s only real experiences with relationships were physical and meaningless. Women used him for his looks and his money. He came from nothing and whatever he had now, he worked his ass off to be able to get but receiving gifts from others was something that eluded him.

It really was the little things like tonight that made him fall for you even harder. Burgers, beer, and Christmas lights may not seem like a lot to some people but that small gesture was everything to Billy.

“I’m not sure I deserve you, sweet girl.” He said, lightly brushing his knuckles against your cheek. “This will definitely be a good memory along with the others I’ve already made with you. I—I love you, y/n. It even says so in your pocket.”

Billy gave you a wink and waited for you to reach into your jacket pocket. He liked to put little notes in your pocket too but they were always cheesy one liners or pick-up lines. You unfolded the piece of paper that was in your pocket and it said: “You really are a homerun, baby. I love you.”

“You’re quite the catch yourself, handsome.” You said, winking in return. “I love you too, Billy.”

He pulled you in close; sharing the same air, he cupped your flushed cheeks and kissed you again. His mouth split into a sly smile as he purred in your ear.

“So…are we going to your dugout or mine?”

After you struggled to hit life’s curveballs, you both had finally connected on your perfect pitch.

Tag List: @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialend @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack @vaguekayla @qu1etwolf @danzer8705 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf

Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso @ittybxttykxttytxtty

If you’d like to be added (or removed from) my tag list(s) for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but you didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again.

[harrisonarchive]

At the Billboard Music Awards, December 9, 1992; photo by Reed Saxon/AP. (Both speeches can be viewed here.)

“George was the kind of guy who wasn’t going to leave until he hugged you for five minutes and told you how much he loved you. We knew where we stood with each other. […] I loved him so much, and if he had never played a note, I would have been so blessed to have him in my life. […] I'm just blessed by God to have known him. He had so much love in him. I realized it more with him gone that he was just pure love.” - Tom Petty, Rolling Stone, January 17, 2002

“‘Me and George have something somewhere where we're connected,’ Petty says with a laugh. ‘Some past life or something.’” - Pulse!, April 1999

“[George] was so funny, it’s hard to explain. He was the funniest guy I ever met. Such a keen sense of humor. A lot of fun. A wise person. He really wanted to know the meaning of it all. But at the same time, he was really light-hearted and tremendous fun. [Laughs] Just tremendous fun. And we got along so well. There’s really not a day that I don’t think about him.” - Tom Petty, Conversations With Tom Petty (2005)

“George [passing away] devastated me. I didn’t think George could die. It so ripped my heart out that I still can’t think about it.” - Tom Petty, Billboard, December 2005

“George came along, and we just got so close; it was like we had known each other in some other life or something. We were pals within minutes of meeting each other. I remember him saying to me a couple of days after we’d known each other — he’s just hugging me, holding me, saying, ‘Tommy, you’re in my life now whether you like it or not.’ It was like I’d been sent the very person I needed. He healed a lot of wounds.” - Tom Petty, Petty: The Biography (2015)

“I went through a bad period, you know, when my house burned… Just kind of one of those great gifts to run into Jeff and George like I did at that time. They probably don’t even realize it, but it really took away a lot of the pain.” - Tom Petty, In The Studio With Redbeard, 1989 (x)

“God I miss him you know. I miss him in the night a lot.” - Tom Petty, Concert for George microsite

“And so much has happed to me that you wouldn’t believe. I’m not gonna try to tell it all to you, but I’m thinking right now about one particular thing. I was looking out there - I know so many people here. Mo, Mo and Olivia [Harrison] are out there. I love Mo and I love Liv. Me and George Harrison and Jeff Lynne one night were at Mo Ostin’s house - this was before, we were just working on the idea of the Traveling Wilburys - and I had written this song ‘Free Fallin’’ and done the record and taken it to my label, MCA. And they rejected the record. And that had never happened to me before. I was like, wow, what do I do? So, we forgot about it. And we were at Mo’s house and dinner ended and George said, ‘Let’s get the guitars out and sing a little bit.’ And we sang and George said, ‘Let’s do that “Free Fallin’” Tom. Play that.’ So we had a kind of Wilbury arrangement of it with harmony. And we did it. And Lenny Waronker is sitting there, he said, ‘That’s a hit.’ With two acoustic guitars, you know? I said, ‘Well, my record company won’t put it out.’ And Mo says, “I’ll f*****’ put it out.” - Tom Petty, MusiCares speech, February 10, 2017 (x)

“I have a special fondness for him [Tom]. It makes you feel a little bit safer to know that someone like Tom is there for you. It’s a good umbrella to be standing under.” - Olivia Harrison, Petty: The Biography (2015)

“What makes Tom Petty a unique live performer is that he is a storyteller. His Florida drawl and the meter of his speech are engaging. Even his everyday observations sound more like tales, and whether he is singing or speaking you'll hear truisms in his words. I call him Aesop Wilbury.” - Olivia Harrison, Billboard, March 20, 2006

“Petty 'had a great bullshit detector – he didn’t suffer fools, just like my dad,’ says Dhani Harrison. While Petty and George Harrison 'were kind of stone-y, mellow dudes, they had that toughness. They’d kick your ass. But they loved the same stuff – ukuleles, motor racing. They would go to the Formula One races together.’ George 'really felt at ease with Tom,’ Dhani says, 'because it was like having another you next to you. There were more eyes watching out for you.’“ - Rolling Stone, 18 October 2017

“Tommy is just, like, the loveliest guy in the entire world. [...] [H]im and Jeff [Lynne] have been the nearest things I’ve had to a dad since I lost my dad.” - Dhani Harrison, Premier Guitar, January 16, 2018 (x)

[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

Pumpkin, chapter 1 - Enter: Elizabeth

Summary: Eighteen years ago, Luke Alvez became a godfather. Ten years ago, he became the sole guardian of his goddaughter. He changed jobs endlessly for years to be close to her and now... the job he's finally selected puts her in danger.

Penelope is trying to hate Luke, but everything she learns about him makes that harder and harder. When she learns about his goddaughter, sees him with her, grows into a friendship with each of them, well, she might just fall in love.

Word count: 9321

Can also be read here on Ao3

Penelope happened to wake up a little early that morning. Just early enough that, to her delight, she had enough time to stop by Lunacorn on her way in and take a quick stroll around the park before heading to work. 

She paused her walk to take a sip of her lavender cold brew when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a flash of movement. She turned to see a very familiar dog running up to her, leash trailing behind. "Roxy!" Penelope exclaimed. "Hi, baby! Where's your dad?" She looked up, expectantly searching for the new agent, but instead saw a young girl with pale skin and short brown hair following closely behind the dog. 

"Roxy!" The girl called. "Roxy!" When she reached Penelope, she was slightly out of breath. "I am so sorry," the young girl said, grabbing Roxy's leash. "She's not normally the type to run up to strangers, I have no idea what got into her."

"Oh, I'm not a stranger," Penelope explained. "I've met her before, and sent her gifts occasionally. You must be Luke's dogwalker, right?"

“No, I’m Luke’s goddaughter, actually, my name's Elizabeth. How do you know him?”

Penelope tried to not let her shock at the knowledge that Luke had a goddaughter show. “Oh, my name is Penelope, I work with him.”

Elizabeth's eyes lit up. "Oh, you're Penelope."

Penelope had no idea if that was a bad or a good thing. If Luke had mentioned her, he had likely mentioned how she hadn't been the nicest to him. Depending on how close he was with his goddaughter, Elizabeth might not be too fond of Penelope. “He mentions me?”

Elizabeth smiled widely. “Oh yeah, all the time. Always ‘complaining’ about how you give him a hard time. Which, of course, makes you my favorite of his co-workers.”

“Wait, really?” Penelope laughed lightly.

“Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, Luke is a great guy and I love him to death, but I also love affectionately giving him a hard time.”

Penelope laughed again. "Well, it's been lovely meeting you, Elizabeth, but unfortunately I have to head off to work." 

"It was nice meeting you too! Say hi to Luke for me!" 

"I will. Have a nice day!" 

When Penelope arrived at work, she made a beeline for the bullpen instead of her office. 

"Good morning, Garcia!" Luke greeted her in his over-enthusiastic tone, still trying to win her over. 

"Good morning." She walked over and perched herself on the edge of his desk. "You have a goddaughter? Also, Elizabeth says hi."

Luke stared at her in shock, but whether it was shock at her actions, her words, or a bit of both, not even he knew. "Um. Yes, I do have a goddaughter. How did you know about her? Also, how do you know she says hi?" 

"I bumped into her walking Roxy in the park this morning while I was getting my coffee," she explained, waving the beverage at him. "Roxy saw me and ran up to me and Elizabeth didn't realize Roxy knew me and was very apologetic until I explained."

Luke smiled and shook his head at the thought of his soft, gentle, and endlessly kind goddaughter. She was the kind of person who didn't want to upset or inconvenience anyone, especially not someone she perceived as a complete stranger. "Yeah… that sounds like her." 

"How old is your goddaughter?" Reid, the only other godfather in the room, asked. 

"She's eighteen," Luke replied, "but I've had her since she was eight."

Tara cocked her head to the side. "You've had her? Like, you were only named her godfather when she was eight?" 

"No, I'm her sole guardian. Her mom passed away giving birth to her and her dad in combat ten years ago. She's been with me ever since." 

"Woah," JJ said. "So you're a parent." 

Luke shrugged. "For all intents and purposes, yes. I've done the PTA meetings, the bee stings, the sleepovers, and let me tell you: ten ten-year-old girls? That is no joke."

JJ laughed. "Oh, I believe you." 

"But anyways, yeah, I've had her for ten years. She's the reason I bounced between divisions in the past, I was always looking for something that would allow me to stay home with her, but in recent years now that she's old enough to stay by herself or with friends, I've been able to take jobs that send me around the country. But if she told me she wanted me to stop, I'd change jobs in an instant. I'd leave the FBI if she wanted me to. She… she's my number one priority." Luke's tone and soft smile made it obvious that he deeply, deeply loved his goddaughter. "I didn’t tell you guys about her right away because I like to try to keep her separate from my work life as much as I can, just for her safety. If anything happened to her… I don’t know what I would do with myself. I know it's not the balance that everyone has, but she's already lost both her parents, and I'm the closest thing she has to family, there's no way I'm letting her lose me too.”

Tara smiled. "That's really amazing, Alvez. Good for you for stepping up like that."

Tara was right, it was really amazing of him. Unfortunately for Penelope. She had been trying to find an excuse for the disdain she was treating him with, but with every little thing she learned about him, he became even more infuriatingly wonderful. 

Penelope’s phone beeped with an alert and she picked it up to check it. “I’m just going to tell you guys to head to the Round Table Room to save Prentiss the time. We have a case. I’m going to go set up the presentation.”

Five minutes later, everyone had gathered and was seated, waiting for Penelope to begin. 

“Two days ago eighteen-year-old Vanessa Hansen went missing. She sent a text to her mom at 2:13 pm that she was walking home from the library a half-hour walk from their house, but then never showed.”

Tara made a grim expression. “She was abducted in broad daylight? That’s bold. And terrifying.”

“Indeed. Yesterday, Kayley Park, also eighteen, went missing as well.”

“The unsub certainly has a type,” Luke observed. “Similar builds, blue eyes, brunettes, although I guess the style and shade of brown don’t matter to him. Other than physical, do they have any obvious connections?”

“Yes. Kayley was also abducted in broad daylight, although she was walking to work and never showed. Her co-worker, apparently a good friend of hers, knew something was not right since Kayley never no-showed without calling in, and the two were texting earlier in the day about being excited to have a shift together. Both Kayley and Vanessa also attend the local college and while they don’t seem to have any direct overlap, they run in the same circles.”

“All right,” Emily said. “This is a local case, so we’ll be working it from here. No bodies have been discovered, so we will be working under the assumption that both girls are still alive. We need to move quickly, at this pace the unsub could take another victim today, and at any point.” She assigned tasks and sent everyone off to work. 

On his way back to his desk, Luke called Elizabeth. “Hey, Pumpkin.”

“Hey, Luke. You leaving for a case?”

“Not exactly. It’s a local one, but it’s missing girls about your age, you know we often work through the nights on these ones…”

“So you probably won’t be home tonight?”

“Probably not, no.”

“So are you okay if I go stay at Nyla’s until you’re done?”

“Yes, of course. I’m always okay with it, but I’d actually prefer it this time. Like I said, the girls are around your age, so I don’t like the thought of you being alone right now.” He decided not to add any additional worry by letting her know that both girls also attended her school.

“Sounds good. I’ll pack up my things and head over there, and I’ll bring Roxy with me.”

“Okay. Stay safe.”

“I will. Love you, Luke.”

“Love you too, Pumpkin.”

***

A few hours later, Penelope got a notification. Emily had been right, the unsub had struck again. Penelope loaded the girl’s image and information, and froze. She hit the button—that she had very begrudgingly added—on her phone for Luke’s speed dial. “My office, please. Quickly. Just you.”

“Hey, Garcia, what’s up?” Luke asked cautiously when he entered her office moments later.

She gestured at her couch. “Sit. Sit.”

He obeyed her command. “Can you tell me what’s going on, please?”

“I just got notified that another girl went missing.”

“Why are you telling me and not the entire team?”

Penelope sorrowfully met his eyes. “Because it’s Elizabeth.”

Luke was infinitely glad Penelope had made him sit down before telling him, because he likely would have collapsed to the ground upon hearing the news. "Oh god… are you sure?" 

She nodded. "I added everything I could remember about her outfit from when I saw her this morning to the report, but I wasn't looking at her outfit, so I easily could have missed something. Do you happen to have a picture of what she was wearing, by any chance?" 

"I… yes, actually! She posts her outfit of the day on her Instagram story… one second…" he pulled out his phone and found the picture Elizabeth had posted earlier that morning. 

Penelope wrote down any details she had missed. 

"Don't forget her jewelry," Luke told her. "Her earrings and her necklace. She wears them every day."

Penelope squinted at the picture. "What are they, orange circles?" 

"No, they're pumpkins. I got them for her. That's my nickname for her. Pumpkin." 

Penelope noted down the jewelry. "Okay. Got it. We should bring this to the team now. But you need to listen to me right now." She placed her hand on his so he'd look her in the eye. "We will find her, okay? I promise you." 

Luke nodded, tears in his eyes. 

"Do you need a hug?" Penelope may be trying to dislike the man, but she wasn't heartless. His heart, his family, his whole world was in danger. He was angry, he was hurting, he was scared. She knew when someone needed a hug. 

Luke nodded again, and leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Penelope's waist and his face burrowing into her shoulder as he cried. She held him for a few minutes as he got his tears and breathing under control. 

"You ready to go back out there?" 

"No. But the sooner we do, the sooner we find her. And I need to find her." 

Penelope nodded. "Okay. Then let's go." 

Their return to the bullpen definitely caught the team's attention. It was a weird sight, the usually stoic and serene (and sometimes quite smiley) Luke Alvez to have a flushed face, eyes puffed from crying, and tear-stained cheeks. What was stranger still was the wet spot on the shoulder of Penelope's shoulder, announcing that it had been cried on.

"What's going on?" Emily asked cautiously. 

"Round table room," Penelope replied. "Now." 

The team followed and took their seats. Instead of his usual spot across the table, Penelope pulled out the chair next to her for Luke to sit in. 

"Another girl has just gone missing," Penelope announced to the team. "And it's Elizabeth. Luke's goddaughter." 

"Oh my god, Luke," JJ gasped, reaching over and squeezing his hand. "I'm so sorry." 

Luke shot her a tight-lipped smile of gratitude and squeezed her hand back. 

"Her disappearance was reported by a woman by the name of Nyla Foster." She glanced at Luke. "A friend of hers…?" 

"Yeah. Her best friend. When I called to tell her about the case, she told me she was going to get Roxy and a few of her things and stay over at Nyla's. That's what she always does." 

Penelope nodded. "That matches what she told Police. She said she and Elizabeth were going to be meeting at a park in between their houses to play with Elizabeth's dog before heading back to Nyla's house. When she arrived at the park Elizabeth was nowhere to be seen, and the dog was searching the park." 

Luke almost smiled then. Of course, Roxy was already searching. She loved Elizabeth as much as she loved him, maybe more. "If Roxy and Elizabeth had been playing fetch like they often do, it's possible the unsub grabbed her when Roxy was off chasing whatever had been thrown," Luke said. "Roxy would have seen and tried to protect Elizabeth otherwise, so either Roxy would be hurt or Elizabeth wouldn't have been taken." 

"It also implies that, as much as I hate to say it, Elizabeth was not a victim of opportunity," Tara stated. "He wasn't deterred by Roxy's presence, which instantly would have made Elizabeth a more difficult target, and either he was confident in his ability to abduct her regardless, or he planned for it. Meaning he likely knew her schedule–" 

"And targeted her now that we've been involved because he knew I would be occupied," Luke finished, a deep sense of guilt wash over him. 

Tara nodded. "Which means he also likely has a connection to some level of law enforcement, since no one else would know of our involvement yet."

"Luke," Emily said gently. 

"Prentiss, please don't take me off this case," Luke pleaded. 

Emily considered it. She knew from Hotch's experience that letting Luke work the case could end very badly. However, she also knew from Morgan's experience, that not letting him work the case, could result in him going rogue and trying to get justice on his own, which she definitely didn't want. "Okay. You can work the case. But. Under strict conditions. You do not go anywhere or do anything by yourself. One of us is with you at all times. When we find out where the unsub is keeping the girls you go after them, not him. If I feel like this isn't working then I reserve the right to take you off the case without warning. Am I clear?" 

"Yes."

"Okay. Garcia, continue." 

"That's all we know right now, but Nyla is waiting at the police station waiting to be interviewed." 

"Luke, have you met Nyla?" Tara asked. 

"Yeah, a few times. She and Elizabeth have been best friends since the beginning of the school year. So, about seven months." 

"Having a familiar face would probably be helpful for her right now, you should be one of the people to interview her. I'll come with you." Tara turned to Emily. "Does that work?" 

"Sounds good to me. The rest of us will keep working from here." 

Luke was given a hug or an affectionate squeeze of the shoulder by every team member, then he and Tara were off. 

When they arrived at the police station they were let into the interview room where Nyla and Roxy were. 

Roxy ran up to Luke, but the dog's cheery disposition was gone. She knew there was something wrong, and she was looking to Luke for answers. 

A crouched-down pet and "Hey, girl," was all he had for her. He stood up and greeted the human girl in front of him and extended his arms, offering a hug. 

She took it. 

"Hey, Nyla." 

"Hi, Luke." Her English accent normally made her words sound light and airy, but her voice was too thick with tears for it to make a difference at that moment.

Luke and Tara sat down across the table from Nyla. "Nyla, this is my coworker, Dr. Tara Lewis.

"Hi, Nyla, it's nice to meet you," Tara said. "Before we start, we know that you might be feeling guilty about this whole situation. If only you'd met at the park earlier, if only she'd gone straight to your house, things like that. We need you to know that you are not at all at fault here." 

Nyla nodded, one of her many long, tight braids wrapped around her finger in worry, tears she was still shedding leaving glossy lines down the dark skin of her cheeks. 

"We know everything you already told the police," Luke told her. "When you and Elizabeth made plans to meet at the park, what did that look like?" 

"Well, at first, she just said that you had a case so she and Roxy were coming over. Elizabeth texted me twenty minutes later saying she and Roxy had stopped in the park in between our houses to play for a little bit, and asked if I wanted to meet her there. I said yes, grabbed my purse, and started walking. It's only a ten-minute walk, I–" a sudden sob cut off her words. 

"Hey, hey," Luke said comfortingly. "Nyla, there was nothing you could have done. Whoever took her… he wanted her specifically. If you had been there, something could have happened to you so he could get to her. You being safe will help us find her. Okay?" 

Nyla nodded and wiped away her tears. "Okay." 

Luke opened his file and removed pictures of Vanessa Hansen and Kayley Park. "These girls were taken before Elizabeth, but by the same person, and they go to the same school as you two. I know it's a long shot, but are they at all familiar to you?" 

Her eyes widened. "Yes, they are! I don't really know them personally, I wouldn't say we're friends, but we run in the same circles. We're all in the same faculty." 

"Other than that, is there anything else you can think of that all three of them have in common?" 

Her eyebrows scrunched in concentration but bounced high when she remembered something. "Yes! They were all asked out by–and subsequently rejected–the same guy! Kyle… something. I don't remember his last name. Oh, but it's probably on his Instagram!" She pulled out her phone and searched, only to put her phone down, dejected, a moment later. "Just the initial. J. I'm sorry."

"That's okay," Luke told her. "Can you send me that Instagram account? We'll get it over to our Technical Analyst and everything else over to our team to see if they can figure it out. Is there anything else you can tell us about when he asked them out? How those interactions went, why they rejected him?" 

Nyla shrugged. "I mean, I don't know too much more. Although, I don't know why he even bothered asking Vanessa and Kayley out. Everyone knows they're out and proud lesbians. They're not dating each other, but they both have girlfriends. But that doesn't apply to Elizabeth, obviously, because she's not." 

Tara squinted her eyes at the girl in front of her. She had added that last part awfully fast. "Nyla… you might not want to answer what I'm about to ask you truthfully, but it is absolutely imperative that you do. If Kyle is the guy who took them, it could speak to his motivation. Okay?”

Luke had no idea where she was going with this.

Nyla nodded. “Okay.”

“When you say Elizabeth’s ‘not,’ do you mean not a lesbian? Or not out?”

Nyla’s gaze fell to her lap. “Not out.”

“You two aren’t just best friends, are you?” Luke asked. “You’re her girlfriend.” It all made sense. He’d noticed a shift in their relationship nearly six months prior, but he hadn’t said anything. He assumed they were just really close friends. He thought, hoped Elizabeth knew that she could always tell him if it was something more.

Eyes still downcast, Nyla nodded.

Luke felt absolutely not gutted. Not about Elizabeth being gay, obviously, but because he didn’t know. That she didn’t feel like she could tell him. 

As if she could hear his thoughts, Nyla looked up at him. “She wanted to tell you. She really did. It’s not that she didn’t trust you, she was pretty sure you would be okay with it, but, you know, the army and the FBI famously aren’t. Coming out, it’s a terrifying thing. You’re all she has, she just couldn’t take that risk.”

Luke shook his head. “No, I understand.”

Interview over, the three of them stood up. 

Luke walked over and hugged Nyla. “Thank you for taking care of her… for loving her when I couldn’t. I’m glad she’s had you.”

Nyla hugged him tight in response. 

“We’ll find her,” Luke promised. “We’ll bring her home.”

On the car ride back to Quantico, Tara cast a glance over to Luke, fresh tears present in his eyes. She knew why. "Luke… you have to understand… Elizabeth didn't keep this a secret from you because she doesn't love you. In fact it's probably because she loves you too much to risk the relationship. And even if she was 99.9% sure that you would accept her… that 0.01% is too overwhelmingly terrifying. Trust me. I'm… speaking from experience." 

Luke nodded. "I believe you. And… thank you. For telling me that. I'm not mad at her. I'm not mad she didn't tell me. I'm just brokenhearted that she felt like she had to hide this from me. I'm so happy for her because I know she's happy, I just wish she felt safe enough to share that happiness with me. I love her, I would do anything for her. She matters more to me than anything. I wish she knew that. I wish I had done a better job of making sure she knew that." 

Tara smiled softly. "When we find her, you'll make sure she knows. She's really lucky to have someone like you, Luke." Her own father had taken his time coming around to the fact that his daughter wasn't straight. He had ultimately accepted her, but it hadn't been an easy journey, and she knew some people who had it a lot harder. What she and some of her friends would have given for someone as instantly accepting as Luke…

He shook his head. "No, you've got it backwards. I'm really lucky to have her. I don't know where I'd be without her. She’s the best thing to ever happen to me, and she's already been through so much tragedy… and now this? We need to find her. Alive." 

"We will," Tara promised. "We will." 

*** 

It took them longer than they wanted. Garcia found Kyle, last name Jameson, soon enough, but that's when things stopped being easy. They had an address for him, but it was a dorm room on campus. Not the most ideal place to hold kidnapped girls. They wanted to interrogate him anyway, after all, he had connections to all the victims. However, when they arrived at his dorm, they found it empty. And not just he-wasn't-there empty, but completely-stripped-bare-waiting-for-its-next-tenant empty. According to the staff responsible for his building, he and all of his things had vanished the week before, they'd noticed when doing room inspections. According to his student file, he hadn't dropped out, and when they interviewed friends they said they had seen him in class, but he wasn't really hanging out with them outside of classes. But no one knew where he was staying. He also hadn't struck again, and friends of Kyle's, Nyla and Elizabeth's, Vanessa's, and Kayley's all confirmed that those three girls were the only ones he'd asked out recently and been rejected by. The team figured that the third rejection had been what made him snap, the final straw that broke the camel's back, as it had happened two weeks before Kyle disappeared from his dorm. He had taken his time to plan his attack, and then he struck. It had been two days, and they were worried about the case going cold. Luke had no idea what to do with the fact that no bodies had been found yet. On one hand, he was hopeful that the lack of bodies meant that the girls were still alive and not just that their bodies had been disposed of in a way that meant they wouldn’t get found for a while, if ever. But on the other hand… depending on what torture the unsub was submitting them to, death might be the more merciful option.

Then, in a stroke of dumb luck, one of the local police officers came through with what seemed to be the light at the end of the tunnel. He remembered that his nephew—who was currently out of the country studying abroad—went to the same school as Kyle and the girls and, when asked, revealed that he was actually friends with Kyle. Very good friends, in fact. He was renting a small house off-campus and had actually just invited Kyle to move out of his dorm and in with him and split the rent. It was the nephew’s name on the lease and Kyle wasn’t actually supposed to be moving in until the end of the month, but he had likely taken advantage of his friend’s absence to speed up the process for his crime spree. What was more, this house had a decent-sized shed in the backyard. Just the right space to keep three girls tied up for days on end.

“Alvez, Lewis, Rossi,” Emily said over their comms on their way to the house. “You three go to the shed. “JJ and Reid will be with me, we’ll take the house, looking for Kyle. Understood?”

“Yes Boss,” Luke replied.

The windows to the shed were boarded up, and the door was locked, but Luke had grabbed the bolt cutters from their car as a pre-emptive measure and they were through in a second.

Luke dropped the bolt cutters to the floor upon seeing Elizabeth. He ran to her as Rossi and Tara took care of the other two girls. 

“We’ll be back for you two in a minute,” Tara told him as she and Rossi picked up Kayley and Vanessa and took them to the waiting ambulances. 

Luke nodded as he cut Elizabeth free of her restraints. He took her in his arms and just started rocking her. 

“Luke?” She muttered, dazed and clearly drugged.

“Yeah, Pumpkin, it’s me. It’s okay, you’re okay. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

***

Luke went right to the hospital with Elizabeth, and the team met him there as soon as they could to wait in solidarity. 

Being the only other person on the team to have met Elizabeth, as well as the person who told Luke she was missing, Penelope decided she'd poke her head into Elizabeth's room and see if Luke wanted her to sit with him.

"Need some company?" Penelope asked softly as she opened the door.

"Hm? Yeah. Sure." 

She took the empty chair beside him. "How are you doing?" 

Luke was sitting beside Elizabeth's hospital bed, unable to take his tear-filled eyes off her. "I remember when she was… eight or nine, and she would have nightmares about her dad dying or the person who killed her dad coming for her, so I’d let her sleep in my bed because she’d be able to sleep when she was with me. And now she’s in a hospital bed. I’m supposed to protect her, and I failed.”

"No, Luke, you didn't fail," Penelope protested. "You did protect her!"

"She was kidnapped!"

“And you saved her! You protected her! She is here, safe, because of you.” She paused, then asked, "So, why Pumpkin?" 

"Hm?"

"You told me your nickname for Elizabeth was Pumpkin. Why Pumpkin?" 

For the first time in days, Luke smiled. "She was born on October 31st, Halloween. For her first birthday I got her a pumpkin costume… here, let me show you." He opened a photo album on his phone and scrolled to the bottom, selecting the very first image, one of a much younger Luke holding a one-year-old Elizabeth decked out in a pumpkin costume in his arms, wide smiles on both their faces. 

"Oh my god, Luke," Penelope gasped. "You were a baby!" 

Luke laughed. "Of course I was, this was over seventeen years ago, I'm in my early twenties in this picture! And we kept doing this on her birthday every year." He exited out of the photo to the rest of the album and showed Penelope the photos. 

She took the phone from him and flipped through the photos. She noted how he held her in his arms when she was a baby and toddler, had her sat on his shoulder and lap as a kid, and then, once she finally got tall enough, standing in front of him, his arms around her shoulders or stomach. Their smiles never changed. She watched as they grew from those young people in the first picture to the versions of them she knew.

"That's really sweet, Luke." 

"Than–" he yawned loudly, cutting himself off. "Oh my god, I'm sorry. Thank you."

"You haven't gotten any sleep in the last forty-eight hours, have you?" Penelope asked.

"Honestly at this rate I'm probably closer to sixty." 

"Luke." 

"How could I sleep not knowing she was safe?" 

"She's safe now. You can. Sleep now. I'll be right here, I'll wake you up if something happens, okay?" 

Knowing there was no way he was losing this fight, he nodded. "Okay. Maybe… maybe just a few minutes." He was asleep as soon as he closed his eyes.

***

Luke dreamed a sequence of memories. 

He was twenty-two and lying in his barracks. His close friend Michael, who had just come back from a visit with his wife, was in the bunk above him. 

"Luke?" He called. 

"Yeah?"

"Cynthia and me… we're going to have a baby. She just found out she's pregnant." 

"Oh my god, man, that's amazing. I'm so happy for you." 

"Yeah. I mean, I'm scared shitless, I don't know how the hell to be a dad, but I'm so excited." 

"As you should be." 

"And you know, Cynthia and I were talking… you know you're like a brother to me, right?" 

Even though Michael couldn't see him, Luke nodded. "Yeah." 

"We were wondering if you would like to be the kid's godfather." 

"Oh my god," Luke said, beyond stunned. "Michael, oh my god, yes, I'd be honored." He wasn't ashamed to admit that he cried.

*** 

"Hey, Baby Wilson," Luke said into the camcorder that was pointed at him. "I'm Luke, and I'm your godfather. I don't know if you're going to be a boy or a girl, but I know that whatever you'll be, we'll have a great time causing trouble for your mom and dad."

"You cause me too much trouble and I'll strip you of your title as godfather," Cynthia fake-threatened from her position behind the camera.

Luke shrugged and smirked. "We'll see."

"All right," Michael called out. "Are we ready to find out?" 

The gender reveal was a small affair, only Cynthia, Michael, Luke, Michael's parents, and a few of Cynthia and Michael's friends, but the cheers they let out were loud. 

Cynthia took her place next to her husband, and they raised their needles and popped the balloons in front of them. Pink confetti exploded out. 

"It's a fucking girl!" Michael screamed, picking his wife up and kissing her, both of them laughing.

Luke walked over to them to give them each a hug. Cynthia first, of course, she was the one having the baby after all, then Michael. 

"Congratulations, man. I always thought you seemed like a girl dad. Have you guys thought of a name yet?" 

Michael turned to Cynthia, brow raised. 

She nodded, and turned back to face Luke. "We were thinking Elizabeth for her first name. It was my grandmother's name." 

"And Lucy, for the middle name," Michael told him. 

Cynthia smiled. "It's the closest we could get to Luke." 

Luke's eyes welled with tears. "You're fucking kidding." 

The couple smiled at him. "We're not."

"You guys are the best." He pulled them back into a tight hug. "Elizabeth Lucy Wilson. I love it."

***

Luke was woken up by a call in the middle of the night. "Michael?" He answered sleepily. "What's going on?" 

"Cynthia's water just broke." 

Luke sat bolt upright in bed. "What? Isn't it early?"

"Yeah. Something is really wrong, I– we're headed to the hospital now." 

Luke was out of bed and putting on his shoes. "I'm on my way. I'll meet you there." 

He waited for hours. Eventually, a doctor came out to meet him. "Are you with the Wilsons?" 

Luke, tired as he was, was fully focused. "Yes. Is everything okay?" 

"The baby is fine. She's perfectly healthy. But there were complications with the delivery. The mother… she didn't make it. I'm sorry, I hear you were close with the family?" 

"Yeah, I'm the godfather, can I see her?" 

"Yes, the father was asking for you." 

When Luke entered the hospital room, his heart broke. There was his friend, barely 23, holding his baby daughter, his wife dead in the bed behind him. 

"Michael," Luke said, voice thick with tears. "I'm so sorry."

Michael's voice was more broken than Luke ever remembered hearing it. "I don't know what to do. I mean, I have her," he looked down at his daughter in his arms, then back at his wife, "but I just want to hold her hand." 

"Give her to me," Luke told him. "I can hold Elizabeth. Be with your wife." 

The second the baby was placed in Luke's arms, he felt a love unlike anything he felt before. He stared into her shining blue eyes, and she stared back at him, as if curious as to who this new person was that she was meeting less than an hour into her life. He could distantly hear Michael talking to Cynthia, telling her how beautiful their daughter was, how he wished she could have met her, but Elizabeth wrapped one of her tiny hands around Luke's finger and nothing else mattered. Luke knew then, more than he had ever known anything, that he would do anything to protect that precious little girl. 

*** 

Luke managed to find a house on the same street as Michael and Elizabeth so he could help his friend–now unexpectedly a single parent–shoulder the workload.

Luke was playing in the living room with tiny little Elizabeth, gently poking and tickling her sides, and hiding his face behind a teddy bear and popping back out from behind it. 

Elizabeth let out a loud laugh, right from her belly, and Michael's head popped out from the kitchen where he was preparing the baby formula. "Did she just laugh?" 

"Yeah, she did." 

Michael's face was soft. "She hasn't done that yet." 

"I'm the first person to make her laugh?" 

"Yeah, you are." 

Tears in his eyes, Luke leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his goddaughter's head.

On nights when Michael couldn't get Elizabeth to sleep, Luke came over, rocked her, or sang her a lullaby with his guitar. She loved it when he did that. He learned her favorite songs. He had an impressive Disney music repertoire. Some nights they'd cuddle on her bed with all her stuffed animals, and he'd read her a bedtime story. He did the best voices.

*** 

When Elizabeth was four, Luke came over for dinner as he often did. This time, however, it was because Michael had to run out for a last-minute Parent-Teacher conference.

"Bye, sweetheart," he said as he kissed her on the head. "Be good for Luke. I love you." 

"I love you too, Daddy!" 

"Hey, Pumpkin," Luke said, scooping her up in his arms.

She wrapped her tiny arms around his neck. "Luke!"

"What do you want to make for dinner tonight?" 

"Can we make cookies?" She attempted to whisper. She actually spoke it at a normal volume, but her hand was beside her mouth, trying to cover it. 

"Hm, maybe for dessert, but what about dinner?" 

Her small face bunched in concentration, and Luke smiled at how adorable she was. "Can we make… pizza?" 

"Definitely." Luke sat Elizabeth on the kitchen counter so she could be his little helper. "Make sure you wash your hands," he reminded her.

He did the brunt of the work, obviously. He made the dough and chopped their toppings, but let Elizabeth punch down the dough when it rose and decorate her own pizza. And, as promised, they made cookies for dessert. She mixed the dough with a wooden spoon and got flour everywhere. Luke took a picture. 

Michael got back home as the cookies were getting out of the oven, and laughed that Luke was spoiling her. 

"I'm her godfather. That's my job." 

Once Elizabeth was in bed, Michael asked Luke if he could talk to him about something.

"Yeah, sure, what's up?" 

"Elizabeth's teacher called me to talk to her today asking about her home life and family dynamic because, well, you know how Father's Day is on Sunday, right?" 

"Shit, yeah, I almost forgot. I'll have to remember to call my dad." 

"Anyway, the kids were all making Father's Day cards–and her teacher already knows about Cynthia because of Mother's Day–but apparently Elizabeth was asking all the other kids in her class who 'their Luke' was, not understanding that our normal isn't everyone's." 

Luke grinned widely. "That is so adorable." 

"Yeah. And then she was asking her teacher if she could make a Father's Day card for 'her Luke' because he's 'always taking care of her and like a second daddy.'" 

Luke's eyes welled with tears. "She did that? She said that?" 

"Yeah, she did. And, you know, because she's four and doesn't understand what a godfather was, she didn't do a great job of explaining things, and her teacher thought that you were, more or less, her stepfather. That we were boyfriends raising a kid together." 

"Oh, that is, that is too funny. I love you, dude, but you know you're not my type." 

Michael laughed too. "Yeah. Honestly, I'm just glad she's adjusting so well. I thought it would be hard for her, having such a different family than the other kids, but she's taking it in stride. She's strong." 

"She gets it from her dad." 

"Thanks, man. I appreciate that. Really. But that conversation did have me thinking." 

"Does it hurt?" Luke teased his friend.

Michael rolled his eyes. "You are such a pain in the ass, Alvez." 

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding, continue."

"I know you are helping Elizabeth do something for me for Father's Day, because she's four and doesn't know what a secret is." 

"Yeah, I figured you knew and were just going to act surprised." 

"Trust me, I will. Anyways, since this is the first Father's Day she's really going to remember, I was wondering if you would be okay if we did something for you too. Because you have really been such a help with her. I want to thank you properly for that." 

For the second time that night, Luke was nearly brought to tears. "You really want to do that?" 

"Of course I do." 

"Yeah, man, I'm okay with that. Thank you." 

***

Elizabeth was six, and she was trying to carve her first ever jack-o'-lantern. 

Luke took a picture, of course. His Pumpkin carving a pumpkin.

With a grunt, Elizabeth slammed her carving knife down. 

"What's wrong, Pumpkin?" Luke asked, leaning down to wipe away a frustrated tear that was making its way down her cheek. 

"It's not working!" She complained. "This isn't how it's supposed to look!" 

Luke pulled Elizabeth onto his lap. "Well that's okay. Things don't always go the way we want them to, but a lot of the time we can fix it. Or if we can't fix it, we can learn." 

"But how do I fix it?" 

"What if you draw your design on your pumpkin? That way when you cut it, you know exactly what to do!" 

"But I don't want help! I want to do it by myself!" 

"There's nothing wrong with a little help," Luke told her. "You know, the best artists in the world use guidelines so they can make sure their art looks the way they want it to, and even then sometimes it isn't perfect. We can't always be perfect at everything, and we need help to learn things. It's normal." 

"I can't wait to be a grownup when I know everything and don't need help anymore." 

Luke laughed. "Oh that's not true at all. Grownups still need help. Your daddy and I still get help all the time." 

"You do?" 

He nodded. "Remember how your daddy and I have those appointments every week?" 

"With the brain doctor?" 

That was how they had explained therapy to her. "Yes, exactly, with the brain doctor. Sometimes really sad things happen in life, and with the job your daddy and I have, we see a lot of sad things. So we go to the brain doctor. She helps keep us happy." 

Elizabeth considered this for a moment. Luke had clearly done a good job explaining things in ways a six-year-old could understand, because she nodded. "Okay. Do you have a pen?" 

"I sure do, Pumpkin." He fished a pen out of his pocket and handed it to her. 

Elizabeth drew the design she wanted on her pumpkin.

"What if you added a mustache?" Luke suggested jokingly. 

Elizabeth giggled. "No, Luke, you silly! Pumpkins don't have mustaches!" 

"You're right." He gently poked her upper lip. "You don't have a mustache at all." 

Elizabeth collapsed in another fit of giggles, and Luke wrapped his arms tight around her. God, he loved this little girl. 

***

Elizabeth was eight years old. She and Luke were having a tea party on the living room floor when there was a knock on the door. 

"I'll be right back, Pumpkin," Luke said with a smile, getting up to go see who was there. 

He was met with a man he didn't know in full Army uniform wearing a very somber expression. "Corporal Alvez?" 

Luke stepped out of the front door and shut it behind him so Elizabeth wouldn't hear what was discussed. "Yes. What can I do for you," he looked at the stripes on the man's uniform, "Sergeant?" 

"It's about Corporal Michael Wilson, sir. I regret to inform you, sir, but early this morning he was shot. We believe his mission was leaked. It was an ambush. There were no survivors." 

Luke's heart and stomach felt like they had fallen to his feet. "Oh my god." 

"I'm so sorry for your loss, sir." 

"I–" Luke looked between the man in front of him and the house. "What do I tell his kid?"

*** 

The funeral was an incredibly somber affair. Luke and Elizabeth sat in the front row, her small hand gripped tight in his. 

It had been no question as to who would gain custody of Elizabeth. Luke was her godfather, Michael put him down as the person to gain custody of her, and she didn't really have any family to contest that. Cynthia and Michael had both been only children. Cynthia's parents blamed Michael–and also Elizabeth–for their daughter's death, so they cut contact. Michael's parents, when they had been alive, had lived in a different state, and had always had many health issues. So Luke was it. 

He tried not to cry, to be strong for Elizabeth, but he couldn't help a stray tear that made its way down his cheek as they placed the folded-up American flag on Elizabeth's lap. 

She told him that night she didn't want the flag. She just wanted her dad back. 

He held her that night until she cried herself to sleep. Then, slowly, he extricated himself from the small girl's vice grip and made his way to his own room. And he finally let himself break down. He turned on the shower so Elizabeth wouldn't hear his broken sobs and sat under the stream until the hot water turned ice cold. He passed out in bed from the sheer emotional exhaustion.

He had no idea how to do this.

*** 

He figured it out. He got an honorable discharge, and joined the FBI, allowing him to stay home with Elizabeth and be a present parental figure in her life. There was no way in hell she was losing the last one she had left. 

***

He was woken up by a small hand on his shoulder. He opened his eyes to see small little innocent Elizabeth standing next to his bed in her Disney Princess pyjamas with her stuffed bunny, crying. 

“Luke, I’m scared,” she whimpered. 

He pulled her into his bed and held her. "What's wrong, Pumpkin? What's scaring you?" 

"I had a bad dream." 

"Oh yeah? I'm sorry to hear that. Can you tell me what it was about?" 

"Daddy," she sobbed. 

Luke's heart broke. "You saw your dad?" 

"No. I saw the guy who killed Daddy. I watched him kill Daddy. He came for me next."

"Oh Pumpkin," Luke sighed, holding her tighter. "I'm so sorry. But you know it was a dream, right? It's not real? He can't hurt you?" 

"I know. But I'm still scared." 

"I know," he replied, kissing her head. "And that's okay. Do you want to sleep with me tonight?" 

"Yes please." 

"Okay. I will never let anyone hurt you, Elizabeth. I promise." 

She knew he meant it, because he only ever called by her real name when he was serious. "Luke?" 

"Yeah, Pumpkin?" 

"You said sometimes things happen that we don't want to happen. And sometimes we can fix them, but when we can't we learn, right?" 

He had no idea where this was coming from. "Yeah, I said that, why?" 

"Well we can't fix this… so what are we supposed to learn?" 

Luke's heart broke all over again. "Oh Pumpkin… I don't know. I'm so sorry. I don't know." 

He held her and soothed her until she fell asleep, safe in the embrace of her beloved godfather. He watched her for another hour to make sure she was okay before he fell asleep himself.

*** 

For some reason, Luke's guitar caught his eye across the room. "Hey, Pumpkin," he said. "Want to write a song with me? We haven't done that in a while." It was a thing they did together a lot when she was younger. He'd sing a little bit and have her fill in the blanks. 

"Okay," she said, pushing closer to him on the couch.

He grabbed his guitar, then came back to sit beside her. Be began to strum out a simple melody. "Once upon a time there was a…"

“Turtle!” Turtles were her favorite animal lately. 

“Turtle! And his name was…” 

“Turtle!” 

Luke smiled. “Turtle! And he went to…” 

“The mooooon!” She threw her hands up in the air and was grinning like crazy. 

“The mooooon," he chuckled along.

It was the happiest he'd seen her since the funeral.

*** 

When she was 10 she won a race at school, and Luke brought her out for dinner for "victory pizza." 

While they were eating, Elizabeth paused suddenly, looked at Luke, and said, "Luke, I love you very much." 

It was the first time she ever said that unprompted. She said it back every night when he tucked her in, but this was the first time she said it first. 

He stared at her, not wanting to make a big thing out of it, trying not to cry, then he pulled her close and kissed her head. "I love you too, Pumpkin." 

"Luke, you're crushing me," she mumbled against his chest. 

"Sorry, sorry." He let her go. "Finish your pizza, then what do you say we go get some ice cream?" 

Her smile took up her whole face. "Yeah!" 

That night he cried on the stairs by himself. He was so touched by what had happened, and he wanted to call someone to talk to about it, but who could he call? Not Michael, he was gone. His family, maybe, but would they get it? It was moments like these where he realized how completely alone he was. He had no one to support him through this, no one who would understand. He had Elizabeth, and he was so grateful for her, but he couldn't emotionally unload onto a child. What kind of crappy person did that? On days when nothing seemed to be going right, he had no one to lean on. 

It was so hard. But it was worth every second.

***

Luke still read to her at bedtime, but now that she was older, he read to her from chapter books. 

Their current read was The Lightning Thief, the first book in the Percy Jackson and The Olympians series. 

"You know," Luke said, having just finished chapter five called "I Play Pinochle With A Horse," "I have ADHD too." 

"Really?" Elizabeth asked, wide-eyed. "Does it give you superpowers too?" 

Luke considered this. "Yeah, it does. It's why my job is hunting bad guys like Percy, Annabeth, and their friends' job is hunting monsters." 

"That's so cool." She cuddled back into him. "Keep reading." 

"Okay. Chapter six: 'I Become Supreme Lord of the Bathroom.'"

*** 

In 2010, when Elizabeth was 12, The Lightning Thief was adapted into a movie. Luke and Elizabeth were so excited to see it together. 

"Well that was. Something," Luke said as they exited the theater. 

"You can say it. It sucked. I mean. They're supposed to be twelve! Why the heck are they sixteen-seventeen! The whole thing hinges on one of the kids of the big three gods 'reaching sixteen against all odds!' That can't happen if Percy is already sixteen! And that girl wasn't anything like Annabeth! And don't even get me started on what they did to Grover." 

***

2010 was also the year the movie Tangled came out and, for the first time in years, Luke found himself picking up his guitar to learn another Disney song. 

This time it was "The Kingdom Dance." He played it for Elizabeth as she spun around the living room in her flowiest dress trying to replicate the dance without getting dizzy, squealing, "Luke, look at me, I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" 

Luke smiled. Being a twelve-year-old girl was hard. She deserved to feel like a princess.

*** 

During the 8 years Elizabeth had with her dad, he would tell her everything about her mom and make sure her memory lived on. They would visit her grave every year on what would have been her birthday. When her dad died, Luke carried on the tradition, but for both parents’ graves.

***

She went through a hair dye phase in middle school. Luke turned their upstairs bathroom into a salon and watched endless tutorials. He became an expert at dyeing and styling hair.

He let her try to dye his hair occasionally too, but it was too dark, it didn't take. They didn't mind. They enjoyed the time together.

This was also her makeover phase in general. Luke thought he'd been lucky that she never tried to put on any of her "makeup" on his face when she was a little kid, but he realized she had been waiting for her teen years. He let her try endless styles of makeup on him, coerce him into doing facemasks with her, and put cucumbers on his eyes. 

He was glad she was just… being a normal teenage girl. He was so worried that she'd had so hard of an early life that she might never feel happy. But she did. And that made him happy.

When she cut her hair short right before the beginning of ninth grade, he bought her so many cute clips, pins, jewels, and headbands, so she could accessorize as much as she wanted.

***

Sometimes he would struggle, but he tried his best to never be angry with her. He called her out when she was in the wrong and he allowed her to see the natural consequences of her actions, but he realized that any mistake she made would have short-term consequences but any anger or outbursts on his part would have long-term consequences, so he was always gentle but firm. 

He wasn't perfect. He knew it. But he did his best.

*** 

When Elizabeth woke up, there were two familiar faces in the chairs across from her hospital bed. Luke, who was asleep, and the woman she met at the park the other day, who was checking something on her phone. 

"Penelope?" Elizabeth called weakly. 

The other woman's eyes shot up from her phone. "Elizabeth! Oh my goodness! You're awake!" She stood up and sat over on the edge of Elizabeth's bed. "How are you feeling, sweetie?" 

"Like hell, honestly. How long have I been out for?" 

"Only a couple hours. I had to convince Luke to try to get some sleep. He was so worried about you." She paused. "Can I give you a hug?" 

Elizabeth nodded her consent, and was immediately wrapped in the softest hug she had ever experienced. The only person she'd really hugged who wasn't Luke–and she loved the guy, but his hugs were hard, not cushy–had been Nyla, and a girlfriend's hug was different. 

"I'm glad you're okay," Penelope told her. "We need to be friends, you and me. Who else am I going to team up with to tease your godfather?" 

Elizabeth giggled in response. 

"I'll give you two a minute," Penelope said, heading toward the door, squeezing Luke's shoulder on her way out. 

The squeeze roused Luke from his slumber. He looked first at her exiting the room, then back at the bed. "Oh my god! Elizabeth!" He was over in a second, holding her tight in his arms. "I was so worried." 

She hugged him back just as tight. "Yeah, I heard. I'm so sorry, Luke." 

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Pumpkin," Luke told her. Then he sat back from the hug. "But there is something I want to talk to you about. Nyla was the one who called in your disappearance. My co-worker Tara and I went to go interview her, and since we needed her to tell us everything she could…" 

Elizabeth sighed. "She told you about me and her." 

He nodded. "Yeah. And I need you to know, I'm not mad, I understand why you didn't tell me, I just… I need you to know that you could have. That I'm a safe space for you. You are the most important thing in my life, Elizabeth. My job, everything else, doesn't matter as much as you. You have to know that. Okay?" 

Tears in her eyes, Elizabeth nodded. "Okay." 

Luke leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I love you, Pumpkin." 

"I love you too, Luke. Very much. Is she… is Nyla here?" 

He smiled. "She is. Do you want me to get her for you?" 

"Yes please." 

"Okay. Give me a minute." 

True to his word, a minute later, Nyla was standing beside Elizabeth's bed, staring at her with tears in her eyes. 

"I'm not made of glass, Nyla," Elizabeth said. "You can hold me." 

"I don't want to hurt you." 

"You won't. You can't." 

In a second Nyla's arms were tight around Elizabeth, who was squeezing back just as hard, and they were each crying into their girlfriend's shoulder. 

"When I got to the park and you weren't there, I'd never been so scared," Nyla sobbed. 

"I know. I know. But I'm here now. I'm okay. I'm safe." 

Nyla pulled back and placed a very gentle kiss on Elizabeth's lips. "I love you. So much." 

Elizabeth kissed her again, smiling. She would never get over the thrill at hearing those three little words from those lips. "I love you too."

[ducktracy]

2. 5 favourites of your own work?

i say everything is a hard question… BUT IT’S TRUE! THESE ARE HARD! i like different pieces for different reasons, and favorite doesn’t exactly equate to “best” (which doesn’t matter of course!) BUT. i’d probably wage these guys… and i’ll tell you why below!

this is unequivocally my favorite thing i’ve ever drawn to date for a myriad of reasons! the short of it is: it’s my favorite cartoon of all time, with my favorite cartoon characters of all time, i got to flex my muscles in different mediums, i took my time with it, i’m happy with the little details, it feels believably human, and it’s my love letter to all of my favorite influences. i love it so much that it’s my background on my phone!

i don’t think words will ever be able to accurately describe how much cartoons mean to me. how much being a cartoonist means to me. i especially will never be able to accurately express just how much the work of influences such as Bob Clampett, in this case, have touched me to my core. i do think though that this piece, more so than others, is a particularly effective way at getting those points across. it was definitely made with love, sincerity, and passion, more so than others. it’s a very comforting piece and i think is a very solid representation of me! not that my art is all about me, and i didn’t make this with the intention of appeasing myself in mind, but it is a very “Me” piece, and unapologetically so. i could stand to be much more self indulgent, so it’s nice to have.

this was a redraw of a picture i’d made in my sketchbook in high school! i’d work on it in my AP Literature class over a matter of days, and my friend and i’d talk about setting up our own Krusty Krab restaurant someday HAHA. who knew i’d be doing what i do now!! i love it for that nostalgic connotation alone, but i’m also very happy i got to transform it into what it is. fun perspective! bold lines! my only regret is mistakenly coloring the floor brown instead of green… but i honestly thing it sort of adds to the authenticity? comic halftones took a lot of shortcuts (especially in golden age comics), so i just try to see it through that lens HAHA.

3. i’m a big fan of this for its versatility! i’m happy to have tried something a bit differently than i normally do. it’s stylized and warm, but still true to both the original Rocky and Bullwinkle and to my sensibilities! i’ve gotten a lot of print requests on this one too, which makes me happy

4. i’m very pleased with how bold this is (and for stepping out of my usual menagerie of characters!) i really like how crisp and sharp it feels, but also maintains that sort of warmth and familiarity i’m always striving for. very happy with the poses as well. i know for a fact i was thinking of Frank Tashlin when drawing Max especially!

5. another one i love for nostalgia, as well as loving for representing yet another cartoon very important to me! i’m very fortunate to have drawn many more seasoned Daffys and Porkys since this, but am particularly fond of it seeing as i had drawn this alternative only a YEAR before! it was my first time drawing Daffy! i think it really represents my growth as an artist in such a short amount of time, and i’m eternally grateful that i’ve made even more progress since then. it being a redraw of one of my favorite images of all time helps greatly!

[antoine-roquentin]

Nobody knows Maurice Tempelsman these days, but once upon a time he was hot shit both in terms of political connections and conspiracy fodder. Getting out of Antwerp in 1940, his dad was prominent in the diamonds industry, which meant he had an in to all sorts of mining concerns especially around Africa. At the same time, his family’s firm ended up hiring Adlai Stevenson as a lawyer. Stevenson was the Democratic presidential candidate in 1952 and 1956 chosen by the Roosevelt wing of the party, so of course he made all sorts of political connections. Finally, in 1950, Tempelsman managed to sell the Pentagon on buying diamonds for defense applications in bulk from his company, bringing him into the military-industrial complex.

Tempelsman worked heavily in the Congo. George Wittman, CIA case officer, was his representative there until 1963. He was replaced by Marc Garsin, a boisterous Belgian agricultural engineer with a big moustache. In 1976, Garsin was replaced by Larry Devlin, the CIA’s station chief in Kinshasa until he was forced out by pressures related to the Church Committee and the House Select Committee on Assassinations.

Garsin said some really wacky shit when he was finally pinned down for an interview in January 2005, which was strangely truncated, poorly formatted, and spread across multiple sources:

Q: You were working with Maurice Tempelsman until when?

Garsin: 1982 . . . I enjoyed every minute of it. After Africa they [Tempelsmans] sent me to South America. That was much better. Peru mostly. Chile. I was there of course when there was a revolution! I’ve got great fond memories to speak about Messr. Pinochet. . . .Let me tell you that the Allende years were not the sweetest years you could imagine. . . . Tempelsman was quite involved with the Kennedys.

Q: It’s been said that Maurice Tempelsman was also seeing Madeleine Albright. . . .

Garsin: That must have been after my time. In my time it was Jackie. She was a lovely woman. . . . And she loved Maurice. She really loved him. . . .

She learned her trade the hard way. Campaigning. . . . She was so good at it.

Who am I? . . . But when I was in the room with her — I was number one. She was fantastic at doing that! Pushing your guy up. . . . She knew how to do it. She was a great woman!

Maurice had this crazy way of always asking questions. And one day we had the Russians for lunch. The Russians were here to buy wheat. New York was in a terrible financial state at the time and Maurice asked the Russians —

“What would you advise New York to do?”

And the Russians said, “If you don’t have the money, don’t spend it.”

And I had it here [thinking to say], “If you don’t have the wheat, don’t eat.”

And Maurice knew me very well, and he knew what was coming. And Jackie was there. He looked at me as if to say, “Shut up!” He didn’t say it but he didn’t have to say it.

At his place I met nearly every Senator, every member of the House — for lunch ­ the ones important. And I tell you something, there is not one who had it! The people who are governing us are idiots. Believe it or not. . . . Tempelsman had the biggest fundraiser [and I was introduced]: “Mr. Garsin from Kinshasa”. And they’d say — “Where’s Kinshasa?” People who were in charge of foreign affairs! At a time when there was a big business [in Africa] . . . Where’s Kinshasa. . .

Solarz. You remember Solarz? He was a member of the House from Brooklyn. He asked, “Where is Kinshasa?” He was a member of the foreign affairs committee.

It’s a bunch of zeroes! It’s a bunch of zeroes! All of them. The only one who made me laugh was Koch. . . .

Q: Sally Quinn was on Charlie Rose after the inauguration talking about how George Bush may have a “learning disability”. . . .

Garsin: Clinton was not better you know. I know people who told me. I’m not going to tell you who told me — but they said I’ve been a friend of this guy for 15 years but I’m not going to vote for him.

And you go abroad and it’s even worse. Even worse! Politicians. All of them. More than 50% of the House in Belgium after the war were checked for collaboration. And those people are trying to teachs us morals? Perfectly crooked . . . My son for a while was living in Holland. You can’t live in that country anymore.

Q: Drugs.

Garsin: If you’re robbed you’ve got to say thank you. It’s not going to last. It’s not going to last. We’re going to see a binge one of these days like in Chile.

Q: What do you think about all the security now here in the US? Overreaction?

Garsin: What’s the opposite solution? . . . I don’t know. I don’t like to get a bomb every time I cross the street. Something has to be done. But what? How?

Q: Organized crime. William Colby, former Director of the CIA before he died, said it’s possible that organized crime is “calling the shots” at all levels of government. And then he died mysteriously.

Garsin: It’s obvious.

But when they speak about torture, it’s hypocrisy! It’s been going on for years. I was talking to a Frenchman, a veterinarian who was taking care of all the animals for Mobutu. Mobutu had a zoo at the time. . . . He told me — “We did that in Algeria. We tortured people.” And he was the sweetest guy I ever met. . . .

And I asked him, “How can you do that [torture]?”

He said, “I promise you — you’d do it.”

“I would do it? Why?”

“You know that the guy knows something that’s going to kill your friends — you’ll do it.”

I’ve been thinking maybe he’s right. I don’t know. He was the sweetest guy you could imagine. And you realize — he said to me, “I torture people” . . .

Tempelsman was doing business in the Congo on behalf of American Metals Climax, which exported copper and diamonds from the colony. Part of this involved aiding Moise Tshombe’s Republic of Katanga, a breakaway province that declared independence about three weeks after the anti-colonialist leader Patrice Lumumba was elected Prime Minister. Part of this involved an interesting deal involving Congolese uranium. In a meeting on July 27 1960, Lumumba announced to the American Secretary of State Christian Herter that he was willing to sell his country’s uranium to the highest bidder, whether that be America or the Soviet Union. At the time, Soviet sources of uranium outside of its country had through diligent work been curtailed, resulting in a limited supply of nuclear weapons relative to America’s stockpile. Suddenly, Leon Tempelsman and Son reported in September that the Pentagon wanted to do a deal for diamonds worth tens of millions, a strange commodity given that they had already stockpiled more than enough for years.

Perhaps the strangest part of all has to do with the CIA’s “executive action” program, a euphemism for assassination. Officially, the CIA initiated ZR/RIFLE in the fall of 1961, with the groundwork being laid in the spring of that year. The term is important. The CIA piggybacked on the State Department’s network of communications around the world, often in the form of telephone cables hooked up to machines that could encode and decode various messages. In order to ensure a degree of secrecy, even within these messages references to operations and people were never written directly. Instead, people were first given pseudonyms, and then they were given “crypts”. Consisting of two letters referring to an area of operations or sometimes a type, they were followed by a single word. What this word would be depends on who was naming it. Often, it was the young women the CIA used as typists around the world, resulting in names like LI/PSTICK referring to phone tapping and surveillance around Mexico City. Other times, CIA station chiefs (GS-13s, current salary $84,546.00 to $109,908.00) would compete to name things in a way that would be popular among readers as they were shared out loud at CIA HQ (as told by John Stockwell). LI was the digraph for Mexico. LI/TEMPO-1 was the nephew of Mexican president Gustavo Diaz Ordaz. LI/TEMPO-2 was Ordaz himself. LI/TEMPO-8 was Mexican president Luis Echeverria Alvarez, and so on.

ZR was not a digraph for a country. It referred to CIA Directorate of Operations, formerly the Office of Operations, also known as Staff D. because of a memo from 9 Dec 1946. Here’s a document the CIA wrote up for the Church Committee on ZR/RIFLE:

Why were they interested in QJ/WIN? This was the codename for a group of people hired for “sabotage and assassination” activity in Eastern Europe in the early 1950s. They were recruited by QJ/BANNER-1 Arnold Silver, head of the Luxembourg station, and thus placed under the digraph associated with that country. QJ/WIN-1 was assigned the pseudonym Jose Marie Andre Mankel, likely real name Jose Moise Czeschlak. QJ/WIN-1 had a long history of smuggling, including 3 convictions for narcotics, and was a typical choice for moving material. He hired a pilot for the Tempelsman job on November 21 1960, DM/LIVID-1. However, he was also the subject of a cable that was by far the earliest slugged ZR/RIFLE on November 1 1960, simply specifying that his identity was not known to Mobutu Sese Seko. The Church Committee ultimately concluded that he was used for a “one-shot assassination attempt”, which they found odd given his normal area of expertise. Ultimately, the bulk of the ZR/RIFLE program was targeted in a completely different area of the world: the order to kill Fidel Castro came down a year later in November 1961, 6 months after the program’s head, CIA agent William Harvey, had begun to hire mafia figures like Santos Trafficante and Meyer Lansky. Many of these figures were ultimately fingered repeatedly in the Kennedy assassination, leading to questions of whether QJ/WIN-1 had anything to do with it. There’s no record of just how Czeschlak got into the Congo, but there’s a decent chance Tempelsman could have helped given his own role in the program. And who is that pictured with Tempelsman on the tabloid cover, a woman who he was involved with at the very least from 1980 to 1994? It’s JFK’s widow, Jackie Onassis. Could this Holocaust survivor have committed the ultimate cucking?

On the board of executives for American Metals Climax with Tempelsman was Harold Hochschild, who also worked with him at the African-American Institute. This will be important later.

[chocolatechibi]

Nuts n Dolts week: Day 2

@nuts-and-dolts-week

Prompt: carrying each other

Top of the World

Ruby stares at me intently, and I stare right back, slowly lifting the spoon of gray-ish mush out of the bowl, bringing it towards my lips. Neither of us break eye contact, sitting across from each other at the table in our tiny kitchen. I’m about to take a bite when-

“Sooo, what’re you guys doing?” asks a voice, sounding a bit amused.

At first, I’m quite startled, nearly dropping the spoon out of my hand, but when I look up, I see that it’s just Yang. I stick the spoon in my mouth, shutting my eyes happily.

“Yummy!” I cry, and it is.

Never in all my days as an android did I ever think I’d be able to eat one day, and I never even could’ve guessed how wonderful it is.

“You like it?” Ruby asks from across the table.

“Yes, it’s delicious! I love oatmeal!” I say enthusiastically.

“We’re finding out what foods Penny likes! She has a lot to try, so we’re making a list,” Ruby says, jotting down a note to her Scroll.

Yang smiles, doing what Ruby describes as a ‘fond eye roll.’

“You guys are silly,” she says, “Oh, and I wanted to tell you something. Where’s Blake?”

“Dunno,” Ruby says, taking another bite of her own oatmeal.

I’ve already polished off almost all of mine.

The first night that we arrived here—the first night I was a real girl—I might’ve tried a tad bit too much food, so I experienced my first stomach ache. I didn’t like it one bit! I never knew something like that could be so crippling! I hear Nora often gets them really bad, so I feel bad for her.

“I think Blake is in her room,” I tell Yang, as the blonde haired girl is still questioning us as to where she is.

“Blake!” Yang hollers, instead of bothering to go look for the girl, “Babe, where are you?”

Blake wanders into the kitchen, her nose buried in a book. She turns one more page before looking up.

“What?”

“Okay, everyone’s here! You three, I want us to all go hiking!” Yang announces, clapping her hands.

Hiking she says?

“You want us to do what now? Go out and hike in the desert?” Blake questions, looking less than pleased with the idea.

“Yeah! It’ll get us out of this house.”

I will admit we have been a bit cooped up here, in the tiny house we’re staying in with the others now that we’ve arrived in Vacuo. Nothing’s really happening right now, so it’s as if we’re all in suspended animation, waiting for something, anything, to happen.

I have never hiked, though. And in the desert?

Perhaps it will be fun!

“Whadya guys say?” Yang asks us.

“Sure,” Ruby responds, “What do you think, Penny?”

I nod.

“I would like to go!”

“That’s three against one, Blake,” Yang says, nudging the Faunus girl, “You have to go now.”

“I didn’t realize we were putting it to a vote,” Blake says in a bored tone, “But if it means that much to you, I’ll go. But I call first shower when we get home.”

“Deal!”

We all smile at each other.

“We can go now,” Ruby says, “It’s still early.”

“Now?” Blake whines, “But it’s so hot!”

“Blake, it’s Vacuo. It’s always hot,” Yang replies.

“I know, I know.”

And with that, we’re all getting ready to hike. I change into my outside outfit and tennis shoes, while Ruby fills my water canteen for me. Water is another new experience. Who knew it could be so refreshing? Water was always a danger to me before, so needing it to live now is so new.

My outdoor outfit is thick and layered, even though it’s hot outside, so as to protect me from the sand. The sand gets everywhere here, it’s hard to get away from it. Yang has even been worrying that it’ll get into the cracks on her mechanical arm and cause damage. I’m very glad that I became a real girl before I came here, so that I don’t have to worry about sand causing malfunctions to me!

“Ruby, I’m ready!” I call, heading back into the kitchen once I’ve changed.

“Okay, we should let everyone know we’re going,” Ruby says, and we all agree.

I walk to the living room with Ruby, Blake, and Yang. This is the room where everyone hangs out most of the time. Here, or in our rooms. We cluster around the tiny air conditioning units, sitting around in our pajamas and trying to find spots where we can do our best to avoid the sand. It’s everywhere here, even in the house.

“Guys, the four of us are gonna go hiking for a bit!” Yang announces to the people sitting around in the living room.

They look up at us sleepily from their spots. Nora is holding her hands in front of the aircon unit.

“Be careful,” Ren advises, “The sand is killer. I let Nora outside for fifteen minutes and I had to climb in the tub with her to scrub it all out of her hair.”

“That’s normal!” Nora defends, “It’s Vacuo!”

“It is not normal!”

“It really was only fifteen minutes,” Emerald comments from where she’s sitting leaned up against the couch, “It was crazy.”

Oscar, who Emerald has been calling her ‘new brother’, sits on the couch behind her, brushing through her hair with a comb the two of them found under the couch. They’ve been taking turns with it for at least an hour.

“Oh hush up Emerald!” Nora whines, kicking half-heartedly at Emerald’s shoulder from her spot on the couch.

The green haired girl makes a face and leans out of the way of Nora’s foot.

I giggle along with Ruby. They’re all so silly. I truly adore having so many friends.

With a last couple words exchanged, our little hiking party heads out.

At least a bag’s worth of sand blows into our house as soon as Yang opens the door, and when we step out, we’re immediately assaulted by the pressing heat. Vacuo truly is something else.

“Where are you guys headed out to?” a voice calls to us as we make our way down the front path.

I turn to see who called, finding Coco sitting on the porch with Velvet. She appears to be attempting to brush the sand out of the bunny girl’s hair, but since they are outside, more only blows in to take its place.

“We’re gonna go hiking!” Yang calls.

Coco looks surprised.

“Okay, well, try not to die!”

“Safe travels-!” Velvet attempts to call, but the end is broken as she starts to cough, covering her mouth with her hands.

According to Coco, Velvet developed a dry cough four months after team CVFY arrived in Vacuo, and it hasn’t gone away since. It’s been almost two years! I really hope her lungs aren’t permanently damaged.

Coco says it’s just another part of living in Vacuo.

Now, Coco absentmindedly rubs Velvet’s shoulder, waving to us with the other hand. I wave back enthusiastically.

So many friends!

The four of us set out for the trails, my spirits raising even more as we go.

Being human is so wonderfully strange. I never knew things like walking or breathing would even feel this different. I can feel my heartbeat now, and the heat on my skin.

Blake is immediately complaining before we even reach the trails, moping about ‘why did she agree to this again?’, but I don’t even mind the harsh conditions. Sure, they’re a little uncomfortable, but the discomfort is worth it.

Ruby slips her hand into mine, and I feel like my heart is soaring. I do a little skip as we make it onto the first sandy desert trail. The path is bordered by an abundance of cactus and hardy desert shrubs, and the path itself is sandy and well worn, like many have walked here before us. It’s exciting.

It’s not too steep yet, so we take our time walking, checking out the plants as we go.

Ruby squeals as a bright blue dragonfly whizzes over her head.

Everything feels so vivid, I want to cry. I experience these emotions more and more now. The type that just pop up, seemingly without a reason, and all of a sudden I’m laughing, or crying, or anything in between.

“Yang Xiao Long, I’ll never forgive you for this!”

“C’mon babe, you’re doing great,” Yang encourages, pulling Blake along by the hand.

“Ugh, I hate you, I wanna go home!”

“Love you too!”

I will admit that walking is quite tiring, especially in this heat, but I don’t want to wear out now.

I hold tighter to Ruby’s hand as we go up another little hill, the paths getting steeper now.

Yang is forever positive, calling out encouragement to us as we make our way towards the top. Apparently, what she previously neglected to tell us is that we’re climbing a small mountain. That makes the trail harder, but at the end, we’ll be at the peak, and we should be able to see for miles! I’ve never climbed a mountain before, but it seems like an experience I should definitely have, so what better time than now?

“Look Ruby!” I cry as a large crested lizard scurries across our path.

Blake’s eyes immediately dart to it, a wild expression on her face. Ruby did say she could be quite like a cat sometimes. It makes me giggle.

I want to walk as fast as the others, but I haven’t really experienced exerting myself this heavily as a human yet, and I feel myself start to slip. I don’t want to give up, however, so I’ll just let Ruby know!

“Ruby,” I pant, “Could you walk a little slower?”

She turns, concern in her silver eyes.

“Yeah, I will. Are you okay Penny?”

“I’m fine!” I say, smiling at her, “I can keep going.”

I try to blink away the blur in the corner of my eyes, but it doesn’t want to leave. I try to keep going, watching Ruby’s happy expression as she takes in the sights.

I really do adore Ruby. Out of all my friends, Ruby is my best friend. It seems just her pretty smile can light up my day. Ruby has always been pretty, but her bright personality, the fact that it just feels so good to be around her, only makes her more beautiful to me.

I cling to her hand, my fingers sweaty, while trying to shade my eyes from the sun with the other hand so I can get a closer look at a plant. It’s then that my legs start to let go.

No, keep going!

I don’t seem to realize I’ve pushed myself too far until I’m already swaying on my feet, the blur in my eyes taking over.

I hear Ruby yell my name, feel her arms wrap around me, lowering me slowly to the ground. I hear Blake and Yang shouting, too, as they rush back to us, but I can’t make out what they’re saying. All I can really perceive is Ruby’s blurry face, telling me to breathe. Blake unclips my water canteen from my belt, unscrewing the top and trying not to let the sand in.

“It’s still full,” I hear her say, “She hasn’t drank any of it.”

Oh yes, I must’ve forgotten. I often forget…

Blake presses the bottle to my lips and I drink down the cold liquid, so very thankful for the refreshment I feel.

“Oh, Penny,” Ruby says mournfully, rubbing my back, “I should’ve been reminding you to drink.”

“No I…” I rub my blurry eyes. “It’s okay. I just forgot. I can keep going.”

“No, you can’t,” Blake says sternly, capping my water again, “Guys, we have to get her back to the house. She’s heat exhausted.”

“But she can’t walk all the way back down,” Yang says, “That’s even farther than going the rest of the way up.”

“I don’t wanna go back down!” I protest, coming a bit further back to my senses.

I feel hot tears prick my eyes. I’m not used to crying, but I still do. It turns out I’m really not used to any of this.

“Penny, don’t cry, it’s okay,” Ruby says softly, giving me a hug.

“I want to see the top of the mountain!” I insist, “I can go a little further!”

“No you can’t-“ Yang says, but Ruby cuts in.

“She can if I carry her.”

Both Yang and Blake look at Ruby like she’s crazy.

“Ruby, you can’t! She’s the same size as you are! You’ll wear yourself out, too,” Blake protests.

“No. Just a little more. I want to show Penny the top of the mountain,” Ruby says.

The other two try to protest, but Ruby’s made up her mind. In the end, all they can do is help lift me up onto her back. I put my arms around her neck, hugging her tightly.

“Thank you so much, Ruby,” I whisper into her ear, and I can feel her smile.

“Of course. I want us to see the top. Together.”

I feel bad that Ruby has to carry me, but at the same time, it’s kind of nice. In the old days, it always would have been me carrying Ruby in a pinch, but I guess I really am still figuring out the whole ‘real girl’ thing. It’s my turn for her to carry me for a little while.

I nuzzle into her shoulder, feeling her comforting scent calm me, even through the harsh smell of the sand around us. She makes me feel so warm inside.

It’s not much farther to the top now. Before I know it, we’re there. I felt so safe being carried by Ruby, it’s like the time just flew.

“Are you okay, Ruby?” I ask softly.

“I-“ Ruby pants, “I’m okay, Penny. Don’t worry.”

We’ve reached the peak of the mountain.

The view quite literally takes my breath away. It’s like the air has been swept from my lungs.

Ruby lowers me onto a flat rock, sitting beside me, but all I can do is sit and stare.

Yang meant what she said. We can see for miles. The endless, sprawling vista of the Vacuo desert pans out below us, and for a moment, it feels like we’ll stay here, frozen in time forever. Just us up here, us and the view.

It feels like we’re at the top of the world.

I lean my head on Ruby’s shoulder.

“Drink water, Penny,” Ruby reminds me gently.

I nod slowly and grab my canteen. We both drink water.

“Where are Yang and Blake?” I question, realizing we’re alone.

“Oh, they went over that ridge over there,” Ruby says, gesturing towards a little rockslide looking spot, “They’ll be back.”

“Yeah. Ruby?”

“Mm?”

“Thank you so much for bringing me here. I’m glad I could see the top of the mountain with you.”

I shut my eyes.

“Even if I’m not used to being a real girl, I’m going to try my best. I just want to be with you.”

Ruby turns to look at me.

“Hey. You know, you were always a real girl to me. It’s just that now, you’ll get to experience all the things you always wanted to before. It’ll take a little time for you to figure those things out, and that’s okay. You’ll be a perfect real girl no matter what.”

“I know I was still me before,” I say, “But I feel even more real now. I’m glad I became a real girl. And I’m ready to learn all those new things. Thank you for believing in me, Ruby.”

“Of course. I know you’ve got this.”

Ruby kisses my cheek softly, and I feel myself blush for the first time.

“Oh, and Penny?”

“Yes, Ruby?”

“I’ll always be here with you. Every step of the way.”

“Thank you. Dear friend Ruby.”

[vivid-image]

Chasing All the Colors in My Head

Steddie | Rated E | Multi-part | ao3

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Four months later finds Steve in his bedroom with Robin, getting ready for a night out. Eddie had managed to find a club that catered to the group’s uniqueness a couple towns over, and after months of being surrounded by the kids and dealing with interdimensional trauma, they were all ready for a break.

“I’m stressed,” Robin whined from within Steve’s closet.

“We’ve been over this, Robbie,” Steve replied, lazily inspecting his nails. His outfit, a tight pair of jeans and a cropped sweater, was already waiting for him at his side. “You have game, so all you have to do is use it.”

“But I don’t know how! Girls are just so, like, pretty that it makes my brain hurt!”

“You are currently fluent in 3 languages, so I know you know how to speak to girls. You’re just psyching yourself out.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Robin huffed, finally emerging from the closet with the jacket she loved to steal from Steve. “All the girls practically fell into your lap. You barely had to try!”

“Hey, now,” Steve rolled his eyes and looked up at Robin. “I’ll have you know I worked very hard to woo the ladies. Also, I’ve tried to help you!”

Robin sighs again and tosses the jacket on Steve’s bed. “I know, but flirting with girls as a guy is so much easier than as a fellow girl. I swear, sometimes I wish we could switch bodies just so I have even a chance with someone!”

Steve felt his heart skip a beat. But he brushed it off. “I get it, but that would mean you’d end up with Eddie – don’t cringe at my boyfriend! – whom I’m particularly fond of and don’t want to share. You’ll find someone eventually, I promise. You just have to work on your confidence and put yourself out there. You can even try tonight if you want to!”

“Maybe, I don’t know. Hey, speaking of Eddie, we should get ready. He’ll be here in just a little bit.” Robin ushered him into the bathroom to change and turned to grab her stuff.

Once he was finished getting dressed, Robin barged in and set her pile of accessories on the counter. She picked out a blue hair clip to match her skirt, and a set of dangly earrings that Steve knew she’d complain about causing tangles in her hair when she danced. Feeling satisfied, she shoved the pile away and pulled out her cosmetics bag.

“So, I know it hasn’t been all that long,” Robin starts, making eye contact in the mirror with Steve, “but I think tonight would be a good night to ease into the whole makeup thing with Eddie.”

Part 6

[leo-dooley-lab-rats]

I Never Meant For You To Leave (Lab Rats One-Shot)

Because I was trying to protect my friends. And I'm still gonna protect my friends. That's right. You wanna send them away, you have to go through me first.

“You doing okay,” a voice asks. Chase looks up and sees Leo standing next to him.

“Oh yeah, I’m great, Leo. My best friend Sebastian turned out to be evil which makes both of my best friends turning out to be evil. So, why wouldn’t I be okay?!”

“Okay, I’m seeing it was a bad question, but I was checking up on you.” Leo sits down next to Chase.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Not all of your best friends have turned out to be evil, you know.”

“Both Marcus and Sebastian are both evil.”

“I’m going to pretend to not be offended by that remark because your hurting. I was talking about me, Chase. I’m not evil and we are best friends.”

“But your my brother. I’m not sure that counts.”

“Why wouldn’t it?”

“I don’t know, because your family.”

“What does that have to do with anything? In case you forgot, before we were brothers we were just friends.”

I'm the one who showed you the real world, Chase. I taught you what it means to be a brother.

“No. What I meant to say is that, Leo, you’ve always been more than just a friend… you’re different than other friends… you were my first friend… and Adam and Bree’s first friend too. Before you, we didn’t really have anyone besides Davenport and Eddie… it was pretty lonely before you showed up.”

Come on, Chase. I know my brother's in there. Where is he, Chase? Where is my brother?

“Your special to me too, you know. I never really had many friends or any before I met you guys. Mom was always working and I never met my real dad. I guess what I’m saying is that I was pretty lonely too before I met you guys.”

***

Maybe quitting your team wasn't enough. Maybe I need to quit being your brother, too.

Leo left the academy. That isn’t right. Leo doesn’t leave. He stays… always. It’s too quiet without Leo. Chase missed Leo. Well, everyone misses Leo.

“Was I too hard him? Yeah… probably was…” Chase ponders. “If I believed in him… If I didn’t doubt him… would he still be here?”

“Missing the kid,” Douglas asks.

Douglas sat down next to Chase. Chase is sitting alone the training room.

“Yeah… it’s my fault he left,” Chase starts, “I should have more faith in Leo.”

Leo, you're not ready to be a mentor, so stop complaining and start getting to know your fellow students

Douglas wouldn’t go so far as to blame Chase alone. Douglas has kept an eye on the kid for long time and grown to be very fond of him. Douglas has noted a shift on the kid’s behavior since coming to the island. Douglas put it down to the kid not being a mentor like the rest of the family. Douglas saw the matter deeper as just Leo’s ego and saw the matter as Leo wanting to just be his family’s equal. Douglas knew the feeling.

Douglas had foreseen Leo pint-up feelings that were bound to show up sooner or later coming for a long time now. Unfortunately, that Taylor kid got hurt in the process. It’s never a good thing to hold things in.

I got so frustrated, I punched the wall.

I can't believe you, Leo. Not only did you damage my brand-new academy, but you lied to me and betrayed my trust.

Douglas didn’t know who the blame when it came to Leo leaving. Maybe Donnie? Or Adam, Bree, and Chase for sidelining him? Douglas didn’t know. He wished now he had voiced his concerns for the kid to Donnie. Better yet, he should have told Tasha. That woman was force to feared when it came to her kids, especially Leo.

I'm very disappointed in you, Leo. But you took responsibility and you didn't leave Spin on the hook. You've learned a very valuable lesson today. As a student.

“Chase, its not your fault… not fully anyways.”

“What do you mean, Douglas?”

“You never noticed how upset the kid was these past couple months?”

“No… I should have.”

Douglas wondered if anyone here noticed how Leo was feeling. Douglas hasn’t even known the kid as long as the rest of them and he noticed. Did anyone pay attention to the kid on this island?

“Look, Chase, I’m not good that these kinda of talks… I do know this Leo hasn’t been the happiest since he’s been here. Leo never told me exactly why, but I know he wouldn’t want you sitting around here blaming yourself.”

“I’m his brother, Douglas! Leo should have told me. Why did he come to you and not me?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he did tell you and you didn’t listen. I don’t know. Now calm down. Getting all worked up isn’t going to help anything.”

Don't worry, Big D. We got this. Now, what exactly will I be teaching?

Nothing. You're a student.

A what? But you gave me a mission suit. You said I was part of the team!

Did Leo tell him that he was unhappy and he didn’t listen? How could he have missed that? How? Chase remembered that Leo was disappointed at not being a mentor at the Academy. Was that the reason Leo was unhappy? Chase thought Leo worked through that. Sure, Leo threw a minor temper fit after finding out he was student, but Leo seemed to okay with being student after that. Chase had noticed how hard Leo was training and was proud of him. Plus, it’s not like Adam, Bree, or Chase treated him differently because he was a student and he still got to go on missions. What was the problem?

Chase has had always thought Leo would happy not matter where he was and what he was doing as long as their family is together. Chase was wrong. “I guess I was wrong…” Chase thought. “I’m the smart one. I’m suppose to know what to do.”

“I’m his brother. I should have known.”

“Being brothers doesn’t mean know knowing everything about each other. Take Donnie and me, for example, he doesn’t know I’m banned from Vegas three time over for card counting. Don’t tell him. It’s best he doesn’t find out now.”

“How do you get banned from Vegas three times?”

“It’s better you don’t know.”

You should've stopped when I told you to. This just proves you're not ready to lead your own team.

I am more than ready. And maybe I wouldn't feel like I need to prove that to you guys if you weren't always looking down on me.

Chase thinks overs all the things he said to Leo the days leading up Leo departure. Was the award ceremony the start of all this or was this deeper? Did Leo really believe that his family looked down on him? And did his family look down on him?

Chase realizes that there was a lot of truth in what Leo was saying. They did look at Leo as just their little brother yet they still let Leo jump in the line of fire for them over and over again. Chase thinks back to all missions where Leo saved his life or Adam or Bree. Other times, Leo saved all of them at once.

Leo just saved our lives. That was supposed to be us.

He didn't need bionics to be a hero.

Did Chase and everyone else just take Leo being there for granted? Leo had always just been there since he stumbled into his life. Now he left. That wasn’t right. Chase began to wonder for the first time ever if Leo had a life before meeting Adam, Bree, or himself. Chase was starting to realize just how little he knew about Leo, his own brother.

Leo, we don't look down on you.

Yeah, we have total respect for all of your shortcomings.

When are you guys gonna stop treating me like I'm an idiot?!

Maybe when you stop acting like one.

“Did I really call Leo an idiot? I mean if anyone in the family is an idiot then it’s Adam,” Chase wonders. “How could have not seen how unhappy Leo was? Am I am bad brother for not realizing it?”

Chase looks over at Douglas who was still sitting next to him. He begins to wonder just how close his biological father was to his brother. The brother who he wasn’t related to by blood rather related to by friendship, love, and bond. How could he been so blind to Leo’s pain and troubles?

“Hey Douglas, did Leo ever tell you how he was feeling?”

“Once or twice, yeah… but Chase— Leo isn’t one to make his needs known. Don’t feel too bad about it.”

“I still do…”

“I know. I know… If it helps, I feel bad about it too.”

***

I'll tell you what's up with me. I am tired of everyone treating me like some kind of non-existent bionic hero.

“I would ask how you are doing, but I can tell by all your faces that your not okay,” Donald Davenport says to bionic trio.

Adam, Bree, and Chase are in their private mentor quarters. Adam stood over Chase and Bree. Chase and Bree were sitting on the couch. Chase had his arm around Bree. It’s only a day or two after Leo left. This was a strange new Leo-less world was not okay in any one of the Davenports’ mind.

I'm going back to Mission Creek. I don't belong here anymore. I'm quitting the academy.

“Why would we be okay?! Leo left,” Adam practically shouts.

“Take it easy, Adam. I’m sure Leo will be back before we know it,” Bree says trying to comfort her brother.

No one wanted to believe Leo would stay away forever. This was Leo. Leo didn’t just leave. Somehow… everyone in their little family knew this was different. That maybe… Leo wasn’t coming back.

No. Chase was right. I'm not cut out to be a leader.

I never meant for you to leave.

Chase meant that. He never meant for Leo to leave. He never wanted to Leo to leave. He wonder, not for the first time, if drove his brother away. Douglas seemed to think that he didn’t, but Chase wasn’t sure. Leo seemed so heartbroken when he last saw him.

Part of being a leader is making mistakes. You learn from them, and you move on. I mean, look at Chase. Think of all the mistakes he's made as mission leader.

“I don’t know guys… Leo seemed pretty upset. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this upset before,” Chase states.

“Yeah…” Bree adds. “That didn’t mean he had to up and leave.”

“Yeah! We could have helped him through this like we should have been doing this whole time,” Adam almost shouts.

But his never hurt anyone. Taylor has to live with my mistake for the rest of her life.

So you're just gonna give up and leave? What about our team?

Logan, you deserve a better team. Or at least a better leader. I'm not gonna put you or anyone else here in danger ever again. Here. Give it to someone more deserving.

Leo, I'm not gonna let you--

Yes, you are, because it's not your choice. It's mine. Bye, guys. Sorry I let you down.

“I hate to say it, but Chase is right. Leo might not come back,” Davenport adds.

“He has to come back,” Adam mutters, “he has to…”

Not too long after that was said, Davenport had to leave and deal with stuff on the island. He had given the kids the rest of the day off to just deal with this. He understood how much they missed their brother, because Donald Davenport misses Leo too.

After their father had left, the bionic trio sits in silence until…

“We should have listened to him,” Bree says.

“Yeah…” Chase absently agrees. “If only we had treated him better… Do you think we drove him to all of it?”

“Yeah, I do. We never really respected Leo…” Adam, in one of his rare moments of wisdom, says.

I told you Marcus was evil. "Leo, he's a nice guy", "Leo, give the guy a break". Wool, eyes, pulled over.

Look, Leo. We're sorry we didn't believe you.

“I hate to say it Adam,” Chase starts. “But you’re right. We never did respected him. And we took for granted the best friend we’ve ever had. Now he’s gone.”

Sometimes, you say something very personal before thinking and don’t even realize you’ve actually said it. Chase just did that and luckily for him Adam and Bree didn’t notice either.

I wanted to tell you, but he threatened to report your secret to the authorities.

That makes sense. He was just looking out for us.

“Leo’s not dead. He just left the island…” Adam says, trying to lighten the mood. “But I know what you mean. It’s not right without him here.”

“No, it’s not,” Bree agrees.

Leo, what is he doing here?

It's okay. I brought him. He's the only one who can help you.

I don't know about this.

We don't have a choice. Do you wanna be bionic or not?

Bree thinks back to the time Leo brought Douglas to help her get her chip back. Leo was the only who thought to even ask Douglas. Leo didn’t even seem to care about consequences of doing so. Bree never thought much of what Leo did that day until now. She wished she had now.

He tried to warn us about Marcus and we ignored him.

How often did the Davenports ignore Leo when he tried to tell him something? He tried to warn them about Marcus and they didn’t listen. His family didn’t listen back then. How little has changed in past few years?

“Guys,” Adam break the silence, “do you think that Leo would come back if we said we were sorry?”

Was Leo leaving a chain of events or just one of Leo temper fits? As much as everyone wanted to believe that it was the latter, it was really former. If it was just one of Leo’s fits, then he would come back after apology.

“Adam, this feels deeper than something an ‘I’m sorry’ can fix,” Chase says.

“Then what do we do?!”

“I don’t know, Adam, I don’t know. I wish I did.”

You can break up the team but you are not breaking up my family.

Chase remembered when the team broke up and the three of them stop speaking. Leo became a bit of peacemaker between them. None of them even had to ask Leo to do this he just did it. Chase never thought about it much until now. Now that Chase thinks about it, Leo tended to that. He stood by them without needing to be asked or did things for them without being asked. He ran into the line of fire to save them all the way back to that party he threw for them or jumping to save them at the garage dump.

What did Adam, Bree, and Chase give in return to all of Leo’s kindness and friendship/brotherhood? Nothing is the answer Chase came up with. Chase realized Leo never asked for anything when he help them. He just did it. Chase wasn’t sure he understood completely why someone would do half the stuff Leo has done without gaining anything.

I remember your first days out of the lab. So young, so naïve. You needed a strong hand to guide you.

Yeah. But all we got was you.

Leo was the first real friend that any of the Davenport kids ever had, and only now did they start to realize just how good a friend is. Leo became more than a friend. He was their brother after all. There are very few friends or even brothers who give up their spare time to do half of what Leo has done.

Chase never really thought about how unique of a friend Leo is. Marcus and Sebastian made Chase feel bad and rethink his friendship with them, but never rethink the other people in his life. Now that Leo has left, Chase started to think why would Leo leave. It wasn’t like him to leave. Chase never expected Leo to leave… no one did.

You're the best surprise brother we've ever had. No offense, Leo.

Yeah, we still like you. You're just old news.

“Is that how we repaid Leo with? Calling him old news? I really am the worse brother in the world…” Chase thinks.

Chase wonders if maybe he was better brother and better friend then maybe he would still be here. Maybe if he believed in Leo more or trusted him more. Why did he have to drive Leo away?

***

Adam, Bree, and Chase have tried multiple times to try and get Leo to come back. He keeps saying no. Leo is just so stubborn sometimes. Adam has also started carrying around cardboard version of Leo. “Like that is good replacement for our brother… I wish… oh never mind,” Chase thinks.

Adam, get rid of that thing.

No! When real Leo watches from home, I want him to feel like he's still an important part of our team.

Have you lost your mind? This is not our brother, it's a piece of cardboard.

To make matters worse, Adam wants to bring that cardboard out of Leo off the island and into the real world. Chase wished that Adam would just get rid of that thing. Chase missed Leo too, but cardboard Leo is not a solution. Chase just wanted to have the real Leo back. Well, everyone wanted the real Leo back.

***

The past few weeks have been difficult and hard being away from Adam, Bree, and Chase. This is the longest they’ve been apart since they met. Leo knows he made the decision to leave and he stands by that decision, but that doesn’t mean living with that decision any easier.

When Taylor had called, Leo was glad to hear from her. He is still carrying guilt for what happened. He had hoped to hear how she was doing not that his family was in trouble.

I know you quit the team, but your family needs you.

If there is one thing to know about Leo it’s that if his family needs him then that’s exactly where he’s going to be no matter what it takes. Even though, he doesn’t feel worthy of being on the team right now, but that doesn’t matter. His family is trouble and needs him.

***

Leo, you have to let go or it's gonna take you with it.

I’m not letting go.

Chase wonders for a brief moment if the reason he wants Leo to let him fall was out of guilt for everything. Chase knows that stupid reason and he might need to talk to professorial if that really is his way of thinking. If he actually makes it out this.

When Leo finally reaches out and pulls Chase out of the limo, Chase feels like he finally sees Leo properly for the first time. In that moment, when Leo saves him, he doesn’t see his little brother, he sees a hero. Before, when Leo did something heroic Chase always saw his little brother acting as hero, but never as a hero. Chase wonders why out of all the times Leo has save him and their family is this the time he sees Leo differently?

Leo, you did it. You saved my life. Sorry I ever doubted you.

I'm just glad you're okay.

Leo meant what he said. He is just glad Chase is okay, not approve or anything else. That’s really matters right now, at least for now. Leo looks over at his brother. It’s the first time they’ve seen each other in person since he left the island and he almost had to watch him die.

Chase looks at Leo. He wants to tell Leo more than ‘I’m sorry I ever doubted you’. He wants tell him how much he regrets not being a better brother and friend to him and how he will be one now. He wants to tell Leo that things will be different now. He will respect him and will listen to him like he should have.

There is so many things that both Leo and Chase want to say. So many regrets and apologies that need to be said, but not now. For this moment, these two brothers hug. Its quick, but it means the world and is a silence message of ‘it’s all okay now’.

***

Not only is Leo back at the island, but because of his bravery and leadership on the bridge mission, I have officially made him a mentor.

Couldn't be prouder of you, buddy

After party/ceremony of Leo’s grand return, Leo found himself sitting alone in a random room of the island. Strange how much can change in so little time.

“Hey Leo,” Leo recognizes the voice as Chase’s. “Do you mind if I join you?” Leo shrugs and Chase sits down next him. “I know we haven’t had a chance to talk since you got back, but there are some things I want to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. It’s okay.”

“No. It’s not okay. That’s the point.”

“What’s this about?”

“Leo, when you left the island, I did some thinking… and I realized that I should have been a better brother and a better friend. I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay. Chase, I let my need to try and prove myself get the better of me… and I got Taylor hurt. We both made mistakes. It’s over now.”

“I was still a terrible brother. I should have realized how much you hated being just a student and none of us taking you seriously.”

Leo is a little surprised to hear those words out of Chase. He didn’t think that Chase would even remember how much that bothered him. “I should have been better at telling what was going on sooner, but that’s all the past now. Forgive and forget?”

“You’re not mad?”

“No. Being honest, when I first got the island I was mad and I guess I didn’t stopped being mad until after I left this place. I was mad at you guys, Big D, this place— Well, you get it. I don’t think I ever truly stopped being mad I never really dealt with it and just let it fester until you know… I didn’t even realize how mad until the ceremony came up. The point I am making is that I am done being mad. I’m sick of it.”

“I am still sorry for everything.”

“I know and I forgive you. I should told you guys what was going on.”

“And we should have been willing to listen.”

“Looks, we could past the blame all day, so lets just forgive each other for everything and promise to do better?”

“Sounds good… so we really are good?”

“Chase, for crying out loud, you are my brother! That means I love you no matter what you do, so get used to it. Meaning we are good! You are forgiven!”

Chase and Leo laugh, then hug. Things have difficult these past couple weeks for this pair of brothers, but now it’s things are starting to look up. Leo is now a mentor and his three bionic siblings have newfound appreciation and respect for their brother, Leo. Every now and then, through life’s worst tragedies brings about some of the greatest the changes.

Author’s Note: This is first fanfic I’ve ever written diving into Chase mind. This fic started out as a short conversation with Leo and Chase after the rebellion, but I sort of got carried away when I thought what if On The Edge happened and we see them fall out and come back together. I have also long since had a document with Quotes from the show for photos edits and other stuff, so I just pulled from that to add the quotes in. I thought the quotes would be a fun way to further tie in Leo and Chase’s friendship throughout the show along with their falling out in On The Edge. The quotes are best view as the characters reflecting back on their own memories as that was my intention when I was writing. Yes, I did put references to Daniel’s episode due to Leo still being a student in that episode. I had also planned on dealing more with Leo, but didn’t as the fic was already so long. I know I also dealt with On the Edge another One-Shot not too long ago, but I just felt like making this. As y’all can tell On The Edge is a special I’m sort of obsessed with as I see as the big hooray of Leo and finishing of character arch. I honestly wish that was final of the show. Anyways, I hope y’all enjoy my LONG fanfic.

[aajjks]

TPOL!JK

“well…i’ve been looking at some internships for my major. there’s this internship in LA that’s pretty good but i’m still deciding on what i’m going to do. other than that, nothing special has been happening. how about you, eh? anything special happening with you?” you keep it vague which isn’t lying exactly but he was hoping you’d bring up that kai-boy.

the one that walks you to class and who you seem to be very fond of but instead, you bring up an internship in LA that you seem to be considering.

jungkook is aware of just how much your career means to you, hell, he’s funding your career but he can’t stand the thought of you being away from him for too long. even this is killing him. you not in the penthouse and talking as “friends” is killing him because after this, you both will have to go your separate ways.

so imagine how he’ll feel when you journey to LA? there’s no way in hell he’ll allow it and if he has to, he’ll do everything he can to prevent it but because he loves you, he plays along for now.

the ride to the restaurant jungkook mentions isn’t as uncomfortable this time and you both talk to each other like genuine friends. asking how the two of you are doing, what the both of you plan to do, and it wouldn’t be a real “friendship date” if he didn’t ask if you missed him or not.

you sigh… “i guess i miss you. just a little bit. my mom is the one who misses you the most but you know how she is” you shrug and it gives jungkook a little hope that there’s still something there for him to work with but you’re obviously unsure.

he’s going to fix everything, he swears he will.

when the two of you arrive at the restaurant, because jungkook is a famous figure, he easily gets a table for the two of you and the menu is pretty simple. nothing too fancy. you order a simple strawberry lemonade, jungkook orders a water and you both just converse the whole night.

yeah, you both are talking, joking around, laughing with each other, you both look like a couple and the people who pass by are a little shocked concerning jungkook is a more famous figure with you being a plain-everyday girl.

“you know, i don’t think you told me about your exe. what was your exe like? was she pretty? extroverted? i’m sure she was this gorgeous model or was she just like me? was she the problem or were YOU the problem because i feel like you might’ve ran her off”

whew, if only you knew about his exes that he “dated” then dumped without a care…

He shrugs when you mention his exes.

They’re not even worthy of being called his exes. They were just a pastime, but how is he supposed to explain that to you? He doesn’t want you to think less of him, but it is true that.. he just discarded them when he was tired of them.

“My exes? Umm.. let’s talk about my most recent one.” he gives you a mischievous smile. “ you know she was gorgeous she was everything I ever wanted but I fucked up and then she broke up with me. I miss her every day so much I want to be with her every second. day and night I see her face whenever I go to sleep…. I wish she would be mine again. I would do anything to have her back.” He says without wasting a breath.

It is so good to see you blush like that, he misses everything about you so much and he is really enjoying this night, oh, how he wishes that the time would just stop when you guys could hang out forever.

“ she’s the only one that’s ever mattered to me.” he completes. he hopes that he won’t get uncomfortable, but he cannot lie too. It’s hard for him to be your friend when he wants to be so much more than just a friend of yours.

And he’s not exactly known for his patience, but he knows he has to thread slowly, girls like you are very rare. everyone would die to be in your shoes to be with him, but he is dying to be with you once again.

“Yn… you know I miss you a lot.. even the penthouse feels so lonely without you.” he says, as he takes a sip of his water.

Never taking his eyes off of you.