#I don’t have any cohesive thoughts at the moment just that I’m sure there’s something to be said about it

[starlightbelle]

Something something parallels between Hawks and Finnick Odair…

[erinwantstowrite]

Let me just quickly say, cross-overs can sometimes get REALLY difficult to map out and write in a cohesive way but you have absolutely NAILED IT!! I absolutely ADORE LoF!!! I usually don’t even bother reading fics with the ‘Richard Grayson is Richard Parker’ premise cause I felt like they were super confusing and overcomplicated but this fic?? SUPERB. ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. OH MY GOD I ADORE IT. Everyone’s characterizations are so nice and wonderful aaaaaaah!!!! <33333

Ok ok I did actually have a question as well: would you be willing to share what your writing process looks like in terms of a chapter you’ve already posted? I was just wondering since I’m also currently working on my own fic (it’s been a few years but I managed to get fixated on an idea and it grew legs lol) and I’m currently fighting the organization of it haha.

How do you keep track of the plot points and/or foreshadowing you want to get a ‘lightbulb!’ moment for later? Do you have any tips?

Thank you so much! I absolutely adore your writing AND your art is so gorgeous omg it adds so much to the incredible story :DDD I hope you have a good day!!

I have a secret: I actually didn't like "Richard Grayson is Richard Parker' tag for a while for the same reason. Sometimes they felt like they missed the mark or it's just. A thing that's there? I almost didn't include it for LoF, but I'm glad I did because it changed the direction in such a big way.

Another secret: this made me incredibly happy because I have read so many wikis and scoured the internet to make sure that I had enough info on both fandoms so LoF could make sense to anyone who's reading it, whether they know Spider-Man, Batfam, or neither at all. Sometimes I worry a lot before I post that I'll miss a mark and will confuse people.

As for the question: I definitely am willing to share what my writing process looks like!

Be prepared for under the cut, I love to yap. It's in my blood to yap. And that's why it took a minute to get to this ask haha

(Spoilers for Leap of Faith!! Everything mentioned has already been published ((Chapters 1-11))

I had to go and find out which chapter I wanted to use as an example and I think we're gonna go with Chapter 5 for the most part :)

My writing process is, as described by alighterwood:

I think the description fits because while I'm all over the place, I have to be very detail oriented and I store everything in one spot.

Starting with the overall process, what I find is most helpful for me, when organizing, is having a notebook rather than doing it all digitally. I've been using a 70 sheet notebook that I had lying around waiting to be used, and as of yesterday, I officially filled the entire thing front to back. It's been an incredible help, for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it's a lot easier to remember something I physically wrote down than it is to remember something I typed. I'm now on to my second notebook for LoF, and I might even have to get a third.

In another ask, startupkat asked me this:

And I shared a little about my outline process there, but I'll try to go into a little more depth here. Emphasis on little because this is so long.

I write a truly insane amount of outlines in this notebook.

This is just what I can show you, but a good chunk of the notebook is just outlines. Over and over and over again. That's because they're always changing/adapting based on so many different factors. Sometimes I get to a chapter I thought I had fully planned out and then realize it just doesn't work anymore. Other times, I get to the chapter and realize I don't want to write that anymore/isn't as interesting as I thought it would be. A few times I got halfway through a POV of a scene I was struggling on and decided to switch POV's, which will change up the outline for a chapter every now and then.

Which is why I don't write incredibly detailed outlines and try to keep it vague until I actually get to that chapter. It's a lot less daunting to rewrite a chapter outline than it is to rewrite the entire outline.

Fic outlines and Chapter outlines look a lot alike.

This is what I said in the other ask, but I didn't elaborate on it all the way.

I make a list just like that, and then I try to put it in chronological order/in an order that makes sense. I keep the Fic outline vague by writing down "Goals" for a chapter rather than scenes. But I also keep notes to myself if I really think something is important. The more important I think a scene needs to be, the more details I write down to make sure my future self recalls what I had in mind when I thought it up.

Really simple example:

Chap 1 Goal: Peter gets to Gotham and meets Babs while running around. Meet Nightwing too? Get shelter.

Chapter 2 Goal: Bats are like "???" about Peter. Batfam dynamic important... Peter stalking Batfam back? Peter meet Batman >:)

When I get to a chapter, that's when I make a far more detailed list of wants/needs/goals. It's the Step 2 from the Step 1. Here are some examples from Chapter 5:

Needed to have:

More POV's from universe 1299 (Peter's home universe)

Tony's POV more specifically, how he's doing/feeling, what he's figured out

What they've figured out on 1299 side vs what's going on in 1300 (Gotham)

Explaining more about Peter's trauma/his past

Dick learning more about Peter, and vise versa

Wanted to have:

Ned being a more central character

Natasha :)

Loki being a little shit

Tony and Cap bickering

Peter talking to Nightwing again

The last name Grayson

Gymnastics!!

(This is the shortened list, because the chapters are so long)

When I looked at this list before writing my outline, I had to figure out how I could incorporate everything. If I needed more 1299 POV's, and I wanted Ned, Natasha, and Loki, there's one scene accounted for. I had to get their side of things and wanted that trio together. I needed a Tony POV, and I wanted Tony and Cap bickering, so those went together, plus I got 1299's POV of Ohnn and his plans explained.

I needed to have Peter explaining more about his trauma, and Dick and Peter to talk/get closer. I wanted a Nightwing POV, to have Peter say his last name, and them doing gymnastics. I knew Peter wouldn't willingly talk about that, so I had him have a nightmare. Not only did it give readers perspective but it made Peter more susceptible to talking to Nightwing because he was more emotionally vulnerable/lonely, and that's how that scene came together.

That's when I would write down the chronological order of these events by writing out "Scene Blocks." (This is what I wrote down but my handwriting was so bad I can't subject y'all to it):

scene 1- Ned talking to Loki. Natasha should be nearby and observing Loki's behavior. They are not on friendly terms. Ned is more worried about Peter than he is as to what Loki could be up to, so Natasha takes on that role.

scene 2- Tony is freaking out about Peter being in an alt dimension. He should attack Ohnn when he's not prepared for it. Beat his ass? Beat his ass. Cap there too.

scene 3- Peter's nightmare. "Ben, where do you go when you die?" "Where do you think?" "With you. Where you went."

scene 4- Nightwing and Peter.

Of course, things come to attention when writing. Like originally, Tony and Cap were arguing in the Tower. But it was a little too much like his and Natasha's argument, and I kept in mind that Tony is smart. Sometimes I forget that the characters are smarter than I am, so I have to account for what they would figure out. So Tony would have picked up the puzzle pieces and come to more conclusions than I originally thought about, and I figured he'd be way more proactive about it than just. Being in the Tower and waiting.

Which means that that scene ended up being as listed above: having a squabble with Cap, learning more about Peter's dynamic with the Avengers in this universe, and seeing how Tony is reacting to it by throwing himself head first into trying to capture Ohnn.

I'll realize I need something else to be mentioned or put in and I'll have to shimmy things around, but that's basically how it goes.

As for other forms of organization:

Keeping a timeline is so important because it tells you a lot about the environment your characters are in. It's also important to remember what a character has on them, what money they've spent, who they've met/who you have mentioned, every alias that is being used, to read your work and write down edits you want to make before you make them, to write down ideas beforehand of situations you can use, and, most importantly: MAKE A MAP!! This has saved me so many times. Sometimes your brain WILL trick you or make it harder on you to envision a scene. Make a map of where your characters are physically!! It will save you too!!

As for foreshadowing and plot points, I'll let you in on yet another secret:

Your subconscious is doing a lot more than you think it is.

Sometimes when I foreshadow something, I didn't even know I was until I got to it. I very often go back to read chapters that came before this to see what I've mentioned and what I haven't, and when I do, I'll see something and go "I have to bring this back" or "I almost forgot about that!"

Other times, I am very aware of what I'm foreshadowing, and that's because I follow a mystery plot formula. You have to keep in mind everyone's intentions, all the time. How are they feeling? What are their motivations? And: what are they doing right now, while this character is doing this?

Like Beck and Ohnn. From the very beginning, I knew I had to make sure that it was obvious Ohnn wasn't working alone. From there, I had to weave through the story and slowly build him up as someone who's working behind the scenes. Even from Ned's first POV, I made sure to mention that this person knows Tony and is tech savvy.

My biggest tip is to make sure you reread your work or at least skip through it, because sometimes you don't even know that you placed something there.

And sometimes, it's very purposeful. :)

I hope this helped! I really tried to keep it short but I am insane and the process is sooooo long. It sounds complicated but it really is simple when you're actually doing it I swear

[nomazee]

hihi!! i love ur writing sm and was wondering if u could do a chuuya x also mafia executive reader (similar to the dazai friends to lovers u did a bit ago) with the unestablished relationship but so obviously in love trope

thank u sm!!

i went so overboard omfg FORGIVE ME... i hope this is cohesive i kept working at it at like deep into the night so it's a little hazy omg but i loved this so much im such a sucker for this trope and chuuya and dazai are like the best characters for this kind of genre i feel

pairing: chuuya x gn reader word count: 2.8k content: fluff, hurt/comfort (an abundance of it), friends-to-lovers, mentions of sickness (vomiting, fever, etc), domestic fluff, sweet stuff, also hand-wavey teenage timeline because i didn't read all of stormbringer forgive me...

°+..｡ﾟ｡ﾟ+.*.｡.

“They said they might promote me, did you hear?” 

Chuuya glances to the side at the sudden sound of your voice. You’re leaning over his shoulder from behind him, face mere inches from his as you grin widely. He has to fight the twitches of his own lips to stop himself from smiling back. “And who’s they, exactly?” 

“Oh, you know. The grapevine. Just some whispers in the organization. And Kouyou.” You lean back, the radiating warmth of your body suddenly escaping Chuuya. He walks behind you as you make your way down the hallway, a little jump in your step as you recount the news to him. 

“It’s what you get for working so hard. Guess it paid off.” 

“You think I’m hardworking! You’re a flatterer, Chuuya Nakahara.” 

“Sure am,” he quips back with amusement. Banter with you is different than with Dazai. With you, it’s lighthearted, and silly, and makes him feel like he’s fourteen and messing around with the Sheep again. With Dazai, it’s… charged, and fast-paced, and builds up a kind of aggravated energy within him that works well in fights but not in a room of Kouyou’s antiques. 

“But guess what,” you start again, looking over your shoulder where Chuuya follows close behind. Your pace slows down to let him catch up to you and walk side-by-side, now. “I think you’ve got a good chance, too. You’ve got some executive qualities, you know?” 

It makes Chuuya pause for a moment, because he hasn’t really thought about it before. After the mess that was the Sheep, he hadn’t considered taking up any kind of leadership or executive position in the Port Mafia. It wasn’t really his thing—too much work, too much responsibility. And as much as he loathed to admit it, it would probably mean even less time to spend with you and Dazai. Being mentored by different people already limited your time with each other. 

He tries not to think too hard about the implications of it—of you and Dazai working under Mori’s hands while Chuuya gets Kouyou’s firm, but gentler palms. A vague kind of sickness washes over him that he tries to shake off. 

“I don’t know about that. I think I do better in a quieter position, don't you think?” 

“Nothing is quiet about you. Especially not with that partner of yours,” you joke back. “I could put in a good word for you! Once I get promoted, I’ll have, like, a bunch of power and influence, and I’ll be all high and mighty, and you and me and Dazai can all take care of the Port Mafia and be all cool, and everything.” 

It’s a pipe dream. Both of you know that. Chuuya knows best about your hidden resentment of this organization and all that it stands for, all that it does. He’s heard whispers about your plans to take over—plans that would never come to fruition. Plans that were more like dreams and wishes and hopes. Something to get you through the day. The budding smile on his face falters when he turns and sees that distant look in your eyes. A sigh bubbles in his chest, but he holds it down. 

“Hey, slow down. You don’t even know if you’re getting the position or not.” His comment is met with a roll of your eyes and a chest-deep groan. You launch into a big speech about how qualified you are for the job, and all the different things you’d institute as a mafia executive (nap time, stress room with cats, petting zoo, iced tea dispensers), and Chuuya nods along and laughs for as long as he can.

===

You do, in fact, get promoted to an executive, but at the cost of a lot of things. Dazai leaves the mafia with no warning to you or Chuuya. You don't see him at all for two weeks leading up to his defection, and it all happens in a blur that leaves your head swimming with vertigo and your body much too frail to handle everything. 

Chuuya finds you sobbing in your en suite bathroom, kneeling on the floor and crying so hard that you’re dry heaving. He hasn’t seen you like this before. Even in your rare moments of vulnerability, it was never something so visceral and uncensored. He stands in the doorway, looking down at you, and freezes. His palms itch with the desire to do something, something that he hasn’t learned.

“You… Hey, hey,” Chuuya drops to the floor once he snaps out of his daze, crouching next to your curled up form as you shake with the force of your tears. He tentatively reaches out a hand, easing onto your shoulder. When you don’t give any sort of negative reaction, he wraps his arms around your shoulders and pulls you in for an embrace. 

It’s odd. This isn’t something that the three of you did. For all that you and him and Dazai kicked and pushed and shoved each other jokingly, this kind of touch is unfamiliar. It’s scalding in the way that sitting in front of a space heater in the dead of winter burns you.

He shushes you like a child because he’s not sure what else to say. He’s just as shaken by Dazai’s defection, but he knew that you and Dazai had become so close over the last few years. Being trained under Mori together does that. His chest squeezes at the sight of you like this, broken down and shivering and sick at the loss of your friend. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m so sorry. Shhh, it’s— it’s okay.”

Chuuya smooths a hand over the top of your head, sliding down to rest between your shoulderblades. His mouth presses against your temple in a gentle kiss, feeling how cold and clammy your skin has gotten. He doesn’t know how to heal you. His hands are made to weigh people down and hurt and subdue, and he’s not sure if he can handle the gentler things like holding you and swathing you in blankets and cooking you soup. 

But, he thinks with a renewed determination. There’s no harm in trying. 

Three months later, you take Dazai’s executive position at the age of nineteen. Chuuya follows suit after another year and a half and becomes executive at twenty. You only think of Dazai when your head swims in gin and when you can’t feel the heat of Chuuya’s hands near you.

===

The both of you find yourselves in Chuuya’s apartment drinking the night away. At this point, you’re both twenty-one, and being in the mafia has offered you countless resources for alcohol and the like. A warm haze has blanketed you as you take another sip of whatever sweet fruity drink Chuuya has concocted for you. He drinks a glass of wine, because he’s weird and bougie, which you tell him straightforwardly. 

“Wine’s just an acquired taste,” he tells you.

“It’s glorified grape juice. It tastes like yeast.” 

“That’s… kind of what it is.” 

You laugh so hard that tears bead in your eyes and you hit him on the shoulder hard enough to bruise. It’s not even that funny, really, and he wasn’t even trying to make you laugh, but it’s so late into the night that you don’t even know what time it is and everything is funny when you’re this drunk.

“I’m hungry, Chuuya. I miss your soup,” you say, a whine in your voice as you throw your head back against the armrest of the couch. You’re stretched out on his velvet upholstered couch with your feet in his lap, and he’s been tracing circles against your bare shins while some documentary plays in the background on the TV. “You haven’t cooked for me in forever. I thought it was your duty as a househusband to cook every night, or something.” 

“Hey! I’m not anyone’s househusband,” he shouts in protest. When you push your head up from the armrest to glance at him, his tanned face is flushed a warm red and his brow is furrowed in playful indignation and you’re struck with the urge to bite him like a chew toy. Instead, you let out a soft kind of laugh and roll your eyes. 

“Yeah, you are. You’re my husband. Have been since the day I met you.” In a burst of newfound energy, you propel yourself up and off the couch, swinging your legs off his lap and standing up. “Let’s go make some soup. Your pantry’s probably stocked, right? Since you’re on top of all your housekeeping.” 

“Geez. You’re never letting that go, are you?” 

“Of course not! Come on. You have to teach me how to cook now.” 

Chuuya has reserved bone broth in his freezer, because of course he does. You submerge a container of it in hot water and wait for it to defrost while he helps you dice and saute vegetables in a pressure cooker. 

(“Don't pressure cookers, like, explode, or something?” 

“...who taught you that.”)

It’s a miracle you can even use a knife safely, because your head is still swimming a little bit and the line of empty bottles on the coffee table taunts you and your bad decisions. You also blame it for the way you stick close to Chuuya, bumping your hips together and leaning your head on his shoulder for a few fleeting moments until the pressure cooker starts hissing. 

He serves you a heaping bowl and when you tell him you’ll puke if you eat the whole thing, he pushes the bowl at you from across the counter and says, “I’ll guess I’ll just clean your puke for you too, then.” 

“Gross. You’re really a househusband if you’re brave enough to do that.” 

“Househusband this, househusband that. All I do is cook.” 

“And clean up the vomit of your lovely lovely spouse.” 

“Sure,” he says, and he turns back to you and puts his own bowl next to yours. Then, in a swift, undeterred motion, he reaches across the kitchen island, over both steaming bowls of soup and kisses you straight on the mouth. It shocks you right into lucidity, eyes blown wide and lips nearly parting at the sudden contact. Before you can really think about it, Chuuya pulls back, circling around the kitchen island to sit next to you with two spoons so you can both eat. “As long as that lovely lovely spouse is you.” 

You feel—light. Airy, sick, nauseous, more at peace than you have been in the last three years. A stupid smile starts forming on your face and you hide your giddy laughs into your soup. 

Chuuya would never act like this sober, you think, still cherishing the little moment you have. Thankfully, you’re proven wrong when he keeps doing it—walking you back to your apartment the next day, going out to a mafia-affiliated diner the next week, in an empty meeting room after everyone has left.

===

Another year passes. You find yourself in the throes of the cannibalism incident—not as a bystander, but as a victim. Because that’s just your luck, really. 

You don’t know how you were caught in the crossfire between Fyodor and Mori, but somehow you were infected with the cannibalism virus and bedridden for nearly three days, in-and-out of consciousness while you hoped and prayed that somebody would save you. For the entirety of the conflict, you were left alone in the PM infirmary, sweating off your perpetual fever and coughing up stomach bile into a metal garbage can. 

It was awful. There’s no blame to put on anyone, though. Everyone who was able to stand was on the front lines, so to speak, and from what you understood you weren’t as big of a target as Mori. Three days alone in a sterile bed was worth it for the survival of the organization.

At the end of it all, in the calm after the storm, sitting in your dorm, Chuuya visits you. 

You don’t look too great, still recovering physically and emotionally, but you can’t find it in you to care. The second you hear the familiar cadence of his knock and the shuffling of his stupid heeled boots, you rip the door open and are met with his wide-eyed expression. 

“Hey,” he says, and you burst into tears because god. It hasn’t hit you until now, seeing him in front of you, his warmth radiating from his hands as they reach out to hold you, but you could’ve died or he could’ve died and then what would’ve happened? Years and years of knowing each other, seeing each other at your worst, taking care of each other. Cooking in your kitchen and sleeping on his couch and kissing him like it meant nothing. It could’ve all been gone. 

The mafia isn’t a safe occupation to begin with, but this entire thing has made you realize how fleeting everything is. So you sob, and you let him hold you and bring you to the couch, and you let yourself be weak.

“Hey,” he says again, tone now placating, gloved hands resting on the back of your head and between your shoulder blades as he sits next to you on the couch. You have no regard for where your body is right now, legs sprawled out somewhere beneath you and arms reaching up to grab at Chuuya’s clothes in any way you can. “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay.” 

You cough wetly into his shoulder, a whine forming from between your violent sobs. Your body shakes with the remnants of your sickness and the exhaustion of the week and a small voice in the back of your head tells you that it’s embarrassing, that it’s unbecoming of a mafia executive to be so affected. 

Death threats and poisonings and shootings—you deal with it every week. You choke out another whine of distress as you press the heels of your palms against your closed eyelids in an attempt to quell the tears. It doesn’t work. You’re still weak, no matter how hard you hurt. 

“Shit, Chuuya,” you cough out a weak sob, shivers wracking your body as the weight of everything crashes onto you. “I was so sick. I was alone. I thought I would die. God.” You pull back from his hold to rub at your eyes with your raw palms.

“Stop that,” Chuuya says, with a gentleness you swear you haven’t heard in so long but in truth it’s been with you for the last two years. “You’re gonna hurt yourself.” Cold fingers wrap around your wrists and pull them away from your face. 

The white-hot heat of embarrassment scalds the back of your neck. You feel like a scolded child with the pitying look he gives you, and with your hands locked between his there’s no way to hide. 

“Stop,” you tell him, “quit it, Chuuya,” and you don’t know what you’re begging for, but it’s the lowest you’ve ever felt—a feared member of the mafia on their knees crying and asking for some kind of mercy. 

“I wouldn’t let that happen,” he mumbles, and he pulls you just a bit closer with the grip he has on your hands. His chin rests on top of your head and you shove your face into the crook of his neck.

For once, he doesn’t smell like his gross luxury perfume. He smells like your laundry detergent and grass and the city and even more tears spill over your cheeks. Your fingers curl into his and you clench his knuckles until you feel them creak through the gloves. 

“I wouldn't let you die,” Chuuya’s voice is no more than a whisper, but it’s the most determined you’ve heard him sound. “I wouldn’t let it happen.” 

“I don’t need your protection,” and it’s a weak protest, and you’re grasping at straws to argue with him and push him away and make him stop before you make yourself sick with how hard you’re sobbing. You feel one hand slip from yours and slide up between your shoulderblades and start trailing along the nape of your neck, tracing circles in a lulling gesture. 

“I know you don't,” he says, “but I would really like it if you let me. Just once in a while. Let me cook you soup alone and wash your face and clean your hair. All that stupid stuff.”

You cough out a weak laugh. Your househusband shtick from a year ago comes back to you, and so do all the warm evenings spent together in the kitchen and the kisses left on his cheek and the ones left on yours. You feel the warm press of his mouth against your temple and let out your last weak sob before you hold him tight again, squeeze him hard against you to make sure he’s still there. And that’s where he’ll stay.

[whatevertheweather]

Hi hello. I miss y'all. That is my own fault but it's still true, and I'm writing this on saturday night and feeling maudlin about how wonderful and talented and dear this fandom is and how I never join in anymore, so I'm making my little post okay.

I'm going with Musical Chairs again because it's so far past time for that to be done. And I've said this before, but it is approaching done. And I'm gonna get into that, but it'll all be behind the scenes rambling, so it's below the cut, and for those who don't want to delve that far, here is some freshly written Penny POV.

“Ah,” Shepard smiled, “a good deed wasn’t motive enough on its own?” “Not when it’s for a stupid reason.” “What is your un-stupid reason?” “Un-stupid?” Penny repeated. She turned resolutely to her drink. “Nevermind. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” “Hey now,” Shepard said, ducking into her line of sight. “You struck me as someone who prefers being honest.” It was a job not to smile at that, but Penny put the work in.

Now for the mess.

It's a good mess I think. I have a new section in my miscellany document, tucked in between nine (9) sections of ramblings and cut scenes, and the new section is called "we got it this time boys," and I think it's right. I've written a full draft of the scene that's been holding us all back. It's there in its entirety, it just needs to be edited. And I'm so scared to reread it, because every time I think I got this scene right I come back and it's wrong. Which I've decided to be fine with, because so what!!! So what if I got 36k right and there's 5k that doesn't quite hit the way I want it to!!! The earth will keep spinning!!!

Anyway, "we got it this time boys" is 3 pages of what is technically kind of an outline for 5 pages of story, and every time I read the header it's in the voice of someone from some black-and-white hardboiled detective noir, which brings me the joy that might be the only reason I feel I've gotten it right in the first place. The outline is all written about as cohesively as it starts:

I think maybe, and gosh haven’t I said this a million times, I just need to stop trying to go that way. Stop trying to go any way. Like always “how do I get them to this moment” instead of “what would they do in this situation.” Unfortunately, the latter requires I connect with them on a level I’m not sure I can right now. But I guess let’s try. Actually let’s go for a walk, I can see the sun setting on the top of the house across the way and it’s lovely. Okay nice, it was lovely. Relaxing, refreshing. Saw a stump that looked like a beaver. Saw a cat. Thought of the opening to something I’m never going to write. So anyway,

It also sort of ends with:

Oh shit came up on an obstacle immediately. [Redacted]. This does not actually open the door for Baz to say something that can incite “[Redacted].” Fuck god okay whoops already going completely back on all I’ve decided and thinking maybe we could keep some of the new exchange I’d written, maybe he does reveal the ugh no stop I hate this. Just figure out a transition to bring in [...], what would Baz say to that other than what I’ve written him saying to that which doesn’t work for what I’m trying to do. I guess it could just be, like…he murmurs incorrigible. Or something. With a raised brow, a la baz. Sure let’s do that, however, I’ve laid down to do this and learned I’m actually quite sleepy, so let’s do it another time. Hopefully I don’t come up on another immediate problem and despair. Just remember not to start combining things and rereading things yet, okay. Please.

This would be alarming if I hadn't already gotten past this point and written the thing. So I'm going to go into editing it with the mindset that nothing substantial shall change and boohoo to me if I want it to, and once that's done we're pretty much home free.

Now tags.

Gonna dip a toe back into being melancholy and wistful about this fandom k, I really do miss it even though I'm the only one keeping me out. You're all my friends even if that is a surprise for you to hear because we haven't talked in months or maybe ever, but I love each and every one of you x

@fatalfangirl @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @moodandmist @cutestkilla @artsyunderstudy

@bookish-bogwitch @aristocratic-otter @mooncello @noblecorgi @alexalexinii

@rimeswithpurple @ivelovedhimthroughworse @basiltonbutliketheherb @whogaveyoupermission @facewithoutheart

@martsonmars @iamamythologicalcreature @run-for-chamo-miles @thewholelemon

@forabeatofadrum @youarenevertooold @ileadacharmedlife @monbons

[noahjustcried]

Sagacious (Service Top!Reader x Sub!Emily Prentiss)

part two of the slightly cohesive Shrewd series.

Warnings: NSFW MDNI 18+, Not gonna lie this one is raunchy, angst, period sex (I didn't spare any details so... if it makes you uncomfy DO NOT READ) , emily snaps at reader, gets kinda fluffy, emily sheds tears, reader being an adorably understanding bean

You were basically brain dead at the moment. The only sound that could be heard was the rushing of your blood in your ears. The only thing you could see was Emily with a blank look on her face but piercing eyes that told you exactly how she felt.

Emily had been short today. Aggravated even. And you couldn’t put your finger on why. Her steps were heavier as her heels clicked around the precinct while she gave orders and built a profile. She’d even dressed differently. Usually she’d throw in some sort of bold color to her outfits: a red shirt, a blue blouse, a cream sweater. But not today. Today she had on that black turtleneck, and black slacks. She looked ominous.

You weren’t allowed much time to analyze before she was barking orders at you and rushing you to the M.E.’s. You confirmed her stiff attitude with Penelope on the way to the examiner’s. 

She’d agreed Emily was acting pissy.

“You seem focused.” JJ muttered sarcastically when you got back to the precinct and immediately collided shoulders with some beat cop in the hallway.

“Like a laser.” You replied not even sparing her a glance as you passed by her.

The woman was harder to read than the Necronomicon when she wanted to be. And she hadn’t had an actual conversation with you in three days. You couldn’t reach her. Until you reached the hotel.

The brunette handed out everyone's key cards in the hotel lobby before making an excuse to take the next elevator claiming she’d forgotten her bag, though it was in your hand. You were standing away from the rest of the group glaring at a vending machine in the corner of the lobby and missed the interaction. Well you hadn’t missed it, you avoided it. And you weren’t glaring at the vending machine you were glaring through it at the reflection, Emily’s reflection.

“Y/L/N, are you gonna buy something or what?” Her voice had an edge to it, one you hadn’t earned.

You took a deep breath before replying. “I’m good," You turned on your heels and glared at her more directly. Your eyes scanned her figure then her face, “Are you?”

The older woman huffed dramatically, her shoulders falling and her hand came to rest against her forehead in what you could only assume was ever-building frustration. “I’m fine, here.” She stalked towards you, her footsteps still heavier than usual. She held out the card with the hotel’s logo printed on the front. You took the card between your index and middle finger.

“Emily...”

“Don’t start.” She interrupted before striding toward the elevator with you trailing after her.

“Em—“you tried again when the elevator started moving.

“For fucks sake, can you not!” She snaps. Her voice was pitched upwards and she was avoiding your gaze.

You cleared your throat before sucking your cheek between your teeth, chewing in thought.

“You’re frustrated.”

The woman trilled her lips, her palms came up to her face and she buried her face inside her hands. “I’m not frustrated, you just don’t seem to know how, or when to shut up.”

You raised your eyebrows, your lips were curling upwards. You could take her words personally but that wouldn’t benefit anyone right now. the doors slid open with a ding. You followed close behind her a few steps removed.

Your room was across from hers, perhaps just another way for her to keep an eye on you. she liked having you under her nose even if she didn’t claim you outwardly.

You watched her click her door open and without a second thought you handed her her bag before shoving her forward gently and basically forcing yourself into her hotel room. The door clicked shut behind you.

She had already opened her mouth to curse, yell, scream? You weren’t sure because the words never made it out of her mouth because you slapped your hand over it. When she brought her hands up to slap you away you nabbed her wrist continuing to back her up until she was in the center of the room, the bed a foot or two behind her.

You gestured for her to be quiet then dropped your hand from her pink lips. Your voice was soft yet assertive as you spoke. you stripped your jacket off your shoulders. “You are frustrated..or stressed. I don’t know you suck at communicating but the point is you are not fine. You have been bitchy, and combative all day if it isn’t one thing it’s another.”

“Bitchy?” Emily challenged. You could tell her repetition of the word was not due to a lack of clarity, it was a challenge, or mercy. A chance to take it back. You wouldn’t.

You bent down and ripped your loafers off your feet before shedding your overshirt, leaving you in a pair of patterned slacks, black socks and a black tank top. “Bitchy.” You reiterated. “And it got me thinking..."

"...Three days of silent treatment; I was left with nothing but time to ponder.” You grumbled, gathering the top layer of your hair and tying it behind your head.

“It didn’t click until I saw you getting all watery eyed on the elevator.” Emily was lost for words as she watched you fall to your knees in front of her. She knew what you were planning to do, and she couldn’t let you proceed. So, when your long fingers met her belt buckle she stopped you.

“I can’t.” She cracked. “I’m uh—” you waved her off.

“On your cycle? I know.” You nodded firmly your eyes meeting hers with nothing but lust, determination, and something much softer. “Let me take care of you.” You purred, pulling her belt free from the buckle and working on the button and zipper.

“Y/N,” she whimpered. Literally whimpered. “I’m bleeding, that’s unsanitary at the very least.”

“Emily.” you reassured. “I don’t care.” You tugged her pants down to her thighs then past her knees. “But if you say no we can stop right now and just go to sleep, or if you actually want to be alone I’ll leave right now just tell me what you need so I can help. Her eyes had begun to water again her lips pursed together as her hand came up to your cheek.

“You don’t have to do this, baby.” She whispered, sniffling immediately after.

“I want to. More than anything in the world. I want you, all of you everyday of the month, blood isn’t gonna get in the way of that, not for me.”

You watched her carefully scanning her tear stained face for the first time in days you saw that light in her eyes again. She nodded at you and you grinned a Cheshire grin.

You started with her shoes this time tugging them from her feet then doing the same to her pants and turtleneck she was near bare. Left in a navy blue bra and cotton panties to match.

“Tell me if it’s too much.” You muttered guiding her the last foot until her knees met the comforter and she took a seat.

You placed a kiss on each thigh. Before you reached for the waistband of her panties. She stopped you.

“I want them on.”

“Okay.” You smiled softly and instead of going with your original plan you placed a hand over her diaphragm and applied pressure ushering her into lying down.

“Just try to relax, darling.” You drawled letting your hand caress over her tummy. Rubbing against it as your other hand teased between her thighs which she had clamped shut. You sighed some frustration of your own trying to boil its way to the surface.

You brought your hand to her right bosom and gave a soft squeeze that left her knees trembling.

“Sensitive?” You inquired, slipping your fingers below the material and groping at the flesh again

This time you could feel her pebbled nipple scraping your palm. You ran a thumb over it, which sent a shiver down the older woman’s spine and made her clamped thighs fall apart slightly.

When you looked up at her face she was already looking down at you with her lip tucked between her teeth as she nodded in response.

You purred, dragging your hand further up her thigh with an open palm. Your left hand came to rest over her cotton covered mound, a curious thumb softly ghosting over her puffy labia. Your right thumb did something similar to her nipple.

A high hum vibrated from the older woman’s throat, a moan muffled by her bitten lips.

“You’re so beautiful, Emily.” You purred as you pinched her nipple gently. Sensitivity was fun, until it wasn’t and you didn’t want to hurt her, not in any way she wouldn’t enjoy, though it was entirely too soon.

You felt her cunt throb against your teasing thumb and smirked pushing her panties aside and parting her lips with two fingers. You smiled at the little string hanging from her entrance and leaned in experimentally. You inhaled, her sweet scent enveloped your nose. You placed a small kiss on her pink button and felt her thighs twitch.

“Emily?” You called. Voice barely above a whisper. Her head popped up from where she had relaxed it on the mattress. “Why don’t you go in the restroom and take this out for me, darling.”

You suggested softly while giving the string a minute tug. She looked as if she wanted to argue or maybe she didn’t believe you when you said you didn’t care.

She cleared her throat and sat up despite her reservations, which had nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact she was overthinking. “I don’t know if—”

Your eyes darted to the wall behind her head. You felt it was time to reiterate your point. “Go in the restroom and take the tampon out so I can devour you the way you deserve, please.”

Emily’s eyebrows raised while you quirked your head daring her to challenge you. You sighed after another thirty seconds of staring. “Okay, you know what.” 

With that you rose on your knees to kiss her lips, your thumb making circles against her clit, causing her to moan into the kiss as you worked her up. Your lips slid from hers to her cheek then her jaw, you nipped at her ear lobe and felt her clit pulse, so you did it again and again until she wouldn’t stop pulsing against you. Her hands placed on the mattress propping her up as you worked her over with just your thumb and her swollen bundle of nerves until she was trembling at the touch.

“Three,” you whispered, brushing her clit faster. “Two,” she moaned out into the open air as you added more pressure, her eyes squeezed shut and her arms trembling under her weight. All while your pointer finger was wrapping itself in the string dangling from her entrance.

She was close. You could tell because her arms were faltering, about to give out any second and her legs kept trying to clamp shut around your torso, though you wouldn’t let her.

You watched her arms give out and her back arch, soon after her heels were digging into your back to pull you closer.

“Please.” She whimpered out.

“One.” You breathed and tugged the string until the bloody cloth was free and her legs clamped around you as your ministrations on her clit pushed her over the edge.

“Oh! Fuck!” She cried. You tossed the tampon in the nearest bin from where you were sitting and you grinned leaning forward to finally indulge.

Your tongue dipped into her entrance hungrily. The metallic taste not deterring you in the slightest. In fact, with the way you were slurping and sucking at her labia and entrance Emily was fairly convinced the taste was spurring you on, though she was more focused on the pleasure your tongue was bringing to her, and here she thought your fingers were amazing. Which , they are but this, this was something else and it was driving her crazy.

She hadn’t stopped cumming and her juices as well as your saliva were smeared across your face and beginning to drip past your jaw.

“You taste so good, baby.” You pulled away but only to use your fingers to spread her puffy pink folds apart.

“Holy Fuck!” She expelled before tumbling into another fit of moans as you sucked at her clit and flicked it with your skilled tongue rapidly. Her own hands came up to squeeze at her heaving breasts. You had to close your eyes or you’d have another accident like last time.

One of her hands tugged at your hair and ripped you away from her folds much to soon and Emily almost came again at the sight of you, your perfect hair messy and flowing between her fingers, your flexed jaw, and hungry tongue lapping up her blood and arousal that was smeared on your lips, your hands flexing on her thighs, and your dark eyes glassy and hazy mind only on one thing: her pussy.

The way you were eating her made her think you forgot that the organ was attached to an actual person.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” She whispered dragging you atop herself and leaning up to kiss your swollen, blood stained lips.

“Thanks, mami.” You breathed, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand ungraciously.

“Better now?”

A smirk slid across her cheeks as she chuckled. “Much.”

“Good.” Your hoarse voice breathed out resting your head on her milky thighs like the perfect forbidden pillow.

"You have to learn to let me take care of you. You can push me away as long and as far as you want, I will always be here to take care of you."

"Always?" came her broken whisper her eyes watering again as she brings her slender fingers to stroke through your hair and massage your scalp delightfully.

"As long as you'll have me. Until the day you can look me in the eyes and tell me that you want nothing to do with me. I'll be yours." You mumble confidently, planting an affectionate kiss on her thigh reveling in the feeling of her fingers stroking your scalp.

Her other hand comes up to her own face and swipes away the stray tears sliding down her cheeks as her heart flutters. "Okay." She replies softly pulling the covers up to cover the both of you your head under the blanket as you drift off to sleep with her fingers still stroking your hair as you rest on her thigh.

[thebaldursmouthgazette]

Okay so I’ve finished the game, here’s my spoiler free review:

This is possibly the best game I’ve ever played and I’m not kidding. Sure it has flaws, but they’re all fairly small and are vastly overshadowed by the quality of the game as a whole

The pacing is a little weird right at the beginning while everything gets introduced, but this settles down quickly and once it does it’s perfect for the rest of the game.

The stakes feel as high as they should, fighting gods. It feels like a challenge and never stops feeling like a challenge, and that makes your wins so much more satisfying

Your team is a team, and they’re as close to each other as they are to you. They aren’t just people all in the same place whos only connection is you, they help with each others personal quests, they have conversations in the lighthouse, they form meaningful connections with each other and your allies. They feel like real people and a cohesive team.

The side quests aren’t filler. Almost all of them are of vital importance either to the main plot or to your allies who are helping you. They all feel like they’re important enough to do while you’re dealing with the main story. I never once thought “why am I doing this shit, the worlds ending” and I don’t think I’d feel any desire to skip them on future playthroughs

You feel part of your faction. There are a couple of instances where I felt a little more reactivity to that would be good (I’m talking like maybe two times where they clearly didn’t bother to record an almost identical line to account for me being a part of the faction, nothing important), but for the most part you feel part of it and it really gives you a grounding in the world.

The emotional beats hit hard. There was a part where I actually sobbed. And I am not exaggerating. I do not mean I was a little sad. I mean I went through multiple tissues and had to have a break for a moment. I have never outright sobbed at a video game before

There were a few things that could have been better, I think a couple more choices should have carried over (though not as many as I thought before. I mean it would be nice, but not necessarily needed and the improvement wouldn’t necessarily justify the hassle of a whole worldstate system) but the absence of them wasn’t game ruining.

One of the character storylines felt a bit out of place, and another made a somewhat bizarre plot decision, but the rest were really good.

I also feel like the characterisation of the inquisitor could have been better, and I know it was never going to be right because BioWare can’t read our minds and make a game for each individual, but I did at one point start questioning if I’d set my world state up right because of what my inquisitor was saying (I had). But again this wasn’t game ruining, I can just pretend she said something else.

Despite a few very nitpicky problems, overall this was a really amazing game. I enjoyed every moment of it, and it was not the solavellan game I was worried it would be. Just about every criticism people had of inquisition they listened to and solved, from the villain being too weak to the filler “gather these shards” and “save a druffalo” quests being a bane on everyone’s existence. They took that all in and made a really strong game with it.

Also: you know when they kept dropping earth shattering revelations and called them “minor spoilers”. They were right. Holy shit were they right.

[tenebraevesper]

Sonic Prime (My Thoughts)

So, I had just a marathon of the first 8 episodes of Sonic Prime and here are my initial thoughts before I start thinking rationally. Since my thoughts are too much of a mess to create any sort of proper cohesion, there will be spoilers.

First of all, Sonic Prime is awesome! I had so much fun watching it and every time one episode ended, I found myself craving for the next one. You know that something is good when you come to the end and find yourself wanting more. The animation, the voice acting, the action, the comedy, even the angst... it all hits right. Now, I might be biased, but honestly, I don’t care. I know that some people might not have the same opinion as I do, and that’s okay. I am proud to say I fully enjoyed every second of this show.

Next, the episodes themselves. Unless I have missed something, I don’t believe there was any filler episode. Instead, we have non-stop action, lore drop and even quiet moments. I did hear from someone that, at least in the beggining, the pacing is a bit off, but I guess this show needs a bit of a warm-up, but once it gains momentum, it just keeps going. I genuinely felt my heart racing at times (and it still is). Also, another thing to note is that episodes have flashbacks to show us more about Sonic’s life before the whole Shatterverse happened, including how we came to that moment. I can imagine that some people might find them tiring, but I didn’t.

The plot is also very simple. Sonic has to find the Paradox Prism Shards and save his friends and his world. Most episodes are centered around New Yoke City, which is the main world Sonic returns too whenever he leaves another world, with the Chaos Council (consisting of five Eggman at various ages) trying to track him down after learning what the Shard can do (also, Mr. Dr. Eggman wears a toupee).

Following next are the characters, and I gotta say I really enjoyed how they were all written. Although, I can imagine that some people will find Sonic obnoxious due to being very impulsive and not focusing (and Shadow constantly reminding him of that). However, he has his heart in he right place and genuinely reflects on his mistakes and wants to fix them. As for the other characters, I adore them all, especially Tails Nine (he’s definitely my favorite Shatterverse character). By the end, I just wanted to give him a hug.

Now, I’m pretty sure you’re wondering what the deal is with Shadow. After all, he was the character people were worried the most about when it came to writing, fearing he’ll be reduced to a Vegeta-esque behavior.

Well...

In all honesty... I absolutely love Prime!Shadow!

Now, I gotta give more context regarding his character in Sonic Prime, so be warned, this is spoiler territory you’re entering.

Shadow was basically introduced in the first episode watching Sonic’s fight with Dr. Eggman and him unleashing a blast of energy that led Eggman to the Paradox Prism. Then he appears again, telling Sonic how everything’s broken, before finally reappearing in the flashback and clocking Sonic in the face.

So, what gives?

Well, we learn in the second episode that the reason why Shadow was in Green Hill was because he was searching for a Chaos Emerald and eventually finding the green one.

Why was he searching for it, I have no clue, but I guess it would be a good idea to have one Chaos Emerald at hand just in case. We then see him reacting to the blue blast of energy and foreseeing what will happen next.

“Sonic!”

Not gonna lie, I legit laughed at his reaction. Out of context, it feels as if Shadow has a sixth sense for whenever Sonic messes things up. So, he quickly races to where Sonic is and punches him straight in the face, questioning him about what he had done, which leads to them fighting each other.

So, to put the debate to end, yes Sonic was just minding his own business when Shadow attacked him, but Shadow was also minding his own business when Sonic caused that energy blast.

In any case, Sonic engages in some banter, with Shadow telling him to listen for once. What he doesn’t do is tell Sonic what he saw (admittedly, Shadow was never the best at communicating) and the two continue their fight, with Sonic noting how he’s on a mission, only to not tell Shadow what this mission is about.

Let’s just say that this wouldn’t have happened if both Sonic and Shadow failed at communicating. In any case, Sonic manages to to get the drop on Shadow (in the most hilarious way possible; idk if that beats Boom!Eggman’s attempt to trick Boom!Shadow in Sonic Boom, but it was funny to me) and get back to his friends, with Shadow following him.

He manages to get to the entrance of the cave, just in time to see Sonic shattering the Paradox Prism and use Chaos Control to save himself.

However, that leads to him getting trapped inside the Void, which is basically a space between the worlds of the Shatterverse. He cannot escape it, but whenever Sonic kicks with his super speed into overdrive, he can somewhat communicate with the latter, trying to tell him what is going on. His exact advice was for Sonic to keep on running, as this is how they can maintain communication and it also appears to be a way for Sonic to go between worlds, since he is juiced up on Paradox Prism energy.

In the (currently) last episode, Sonic manages to enter the Void again, coming face-to-face with Shadow.

Sonic is surprised to see him, thinking this is another Shatterverse!Counterpart and tells him he just wants to go home. 

“Home? Home doesn’t exist anymore because of you!”

Furious, Shadow punches Sonic again and before we can see the end result, the episode’s over. Episode 1 ends with Shadow punching Sonic and now Episode 8 ends the same, and I’m all for it.

Man, that was a roller-coaster. I definitely love what they did with Shadow and considering the information we’ve been given, Sonic and Shadow will have to learn to work together to figure things out (and hopefully get better at communicating). I read that there will be a whole episode centered around the two and I’m looking forward to seeing it.

Also, Sonic? Introducing your rival with “It’s complicated” makes me really raise an eyebrow.

Oh, and this gem...

‘‘...and by the way, he roller-skates!”

“They’re air shoes.”

Shadow just casually interrupting Sonic’s narration and breaking the 4th wall is everything.

In any case, I absolutely love Sonic Prime and I want more from it! Also, I’m probably gonna be insufferable about it.

[rearranged-fanfic]

Cut Content (REARRANGED: Arc 2, Ch. 3)

Because this chapter is completely kicking my ass, let me share one of the many, many sections that I've had to delete from the chapter. It has been a process, TBH. I've now edited out over 15K words and shuffled them into my 'Scraps' file for later perusal/deletion. So, in the time that I've tried to get this thing wrangled, I've basically managed to type up 1.25 chapters worth of content that simply doesn't fit. And this chapter still refuses to come together in a cohesive way. Fun. Lol.

*Spoilers Below*

Excerpt 1:

Gojo cradles the shades in his long digits and taps his temple in a telling way.  Right.  His Technique makes his eyes sensitive.  But how much, I wonder? Sensitive enough that he has to wear blindfolds and thick black glass to keep them hidden away for most of the day, if the way he dresses is any indicator. “Then just turn the Six Eyes off for a bit.  Like,” and I pause to mime flipping a light switch, “click.” “Yeah, no.  No can do, I’m afraid.”  But he hardly sounds put off by it.  And he shrugs to capture some more of that ‘don’t give a fuck’ energy he embodies so very, very well.  “They’re a permanent fixture.” And that… that doesn’t seem right, does it?  The Six Eyes are permanent—since when?  In the Hidden Inventory Arc, he was able to turn them on and off at will.  In fact, letting his Technique drop is exactly how Toji had managed to sneak up on Gojo and stab him.  Or maybe I’m misremembering?  Honestly, I’m not sure.  Truth be told, there’s very little that I understand about Gojo, The Six Eyes, or Limitless.  I can’t pretend to know how his Technique really even works, not when it’s a combination of Physics and mystical mumbo-jumbo.  And the Six Eyes had gotten even less explanation. “You could turn them off before, right?  Before the whole,” I gesture vaguely, “thing that went down in your teens.” ‘Thing’, I say, because bringing up the fight with Zen’in Toji and Amanai Riko’s murder like they weren’t awful and formative parts of his past makes me feel icky inside.  So, I leave it up to interpretation.  He’ll know what I mean, anyway.  Again, I show more knowledge that I shouldn’t have, but do.  The man in front of me is used to it now, though.  There’s no suspicion or paranoia anymore.  Just a calm acceptance.  He nods at my query, blue eyes boring into me. “But not anymore?” A shake of the head.  Perfunctory.  Short. “So you’re stuck with them on all the time?” “Pretty much!” he chirps like a bird, seemingly not bothered at all. I can’t help but think about how sad that sounds, to hide his eyes permanently. And, before I can stop it, the question is out of my mouth: “Don’t you ever miss it?  What if you could turn off the Six Eyes again and just be… normal.” I wince at the word.  Normal.  That’s pretty fucking ableist of me, isn’t it?  ‘Normal’… Like having anything less than perfect sight makes somebody some sort of freak.  I lambast myself for my poor phrasing.  And I start thinking of a way to backpedal when I notice his thoughtful expression.  Gojo’s frozen in his seat, staring down at his glasses.  He takes a long moment to think.  And he finally breezes out a laugh. “’Normal’, huh?” he says softly.  “I’ve never even considered it, really.  What does ‘normal’ look like in the world of Jujutsu Sorcery, I wonder?”  He tilts his head and looks up at me, considering something.  “Does something so mundane even have a place in it?  Or is it an impossible concept for people like us?” “I, err, didn’t mean for that to become a philosophical question.” “No.  I’d imagine you didn’t, my curious creature.”  The glasses slide on, cast his haunting eyes in shade.  “You want an answer to your question, Oracle-chan?  The truth is that I don’t think about it. I could wonder ‘what-if’ for so many things in my life.  A hundred things—a thousand things, even.”  Those long pale fingers of his find the notches in the table that he’d left a few days ago.  They sink into the warps left behind perfectly.  It’s like he’d dipped his fingers into wet clay for how well the table has remembered the imprint of them.  “But to do so is to stand idly in place, never moving past those things, never coming to terms with them.  I’d be stuck facing behind me, always, feet chained to the ground.  But I don’t have the luxury to wait around.  I have to keep moving forward and accept things as they are.”

Excerpt 2 (directly related to 1):

But I also know that there’s a deep layer of hypocrisy to this as well.  Because Gojo is stuck in the past, in a way.  He can’t let go of his friendship with Geto Suguru, and probably agonizes over not being able to stop him from leaving.  I don’t know the man well, not now that he’s no longer a 2D character in a manga panel or television screen, but I’m certain that this is one ‘what-if’ that he’ll never leave alone.  I wonder what other skeletons lurk in his closet, what other fixations he purposely buries to keep from becoming distracted by them. And I wonder how exactly he distracts himself. Casual murder, my mind supplies instantly.  And then I realize that I probably don’t want to know if that’s true or not.  Not exactly the healthiest coping technique.  Or most legal.  Or sane.  Maybe he has a secret harmless hobby, like macrame or nude modelling?  Or maybe he secretly paints Picasso counterfeits and sells them on the black market? I don’t know.  Anything other than fighting and killing for sport, I hope. Maybe I need my own distractions, if this night is any indicator--besides what Shoko had suggested.  Because that clearly hadn’t worked out at all.

Why was this removed?

Honestly, because Reader-chan and Gojo aren't currently at the comfort level to be having these kinds of discussions. I think this talk about vulnerabilities is best saved for a little later, when they can actually be in a room together without teasing each other (Gojo) or insulting each other (Reader-chan).

Plus, this scene was running too long anyway, TBH. So this is the fat that got trimmed. Might reincorporate it in the future, but not in this chappy.

Hope this tides you over for a little longer, pookies 😘

[thecosmicflame]

The Lost Cities: Chapter One

Fanfic of mine. Also on A03

    Shhh… I remind myself as I squint, trying to pay attention to Mr. Sweeney’s lecture on grey whales. The headache pounding at the back of my eyes makes it almost impossible. The bright fluorescents and the bright blue walls of the museum don’t help either.

    I take a deep breath and close my eyes, hoping the pain will go away for just a moment.

    *I am blood and bone~*

    The music usually helps, but today… 

    *Favour of the fallen; writings in the stone: haven in the hollow~*

    I swallow, trying not to hum along with the tune. If Mr. Sweeney found out, it would be a death sentence.

    Okay.

    Not really, but with this headache, it would sure feel like one.

    *Ooh, I see your face in the fire; I’ll be waiting for yo-*

    “MISS FOSTER!” 

    I jump at the sound of my teacher’s voice, yank the earbuds away, and stuff them into the big pocket at the front of my hoodie. I gulp.

    Mr. Sweeny glares over at me from his place in front of the floating whale statue. He holds his open notebook with one arm and his other hand rests on the paper, a pencil in hand. “Have you decided that you’re too smart to pay attention to the provided information?”

    I shake my head from side to side. “N-no, sir.” I slink back into the comfort of my hoodie, trying to ignore the looks of my classmates.

    “Then I would *pay* attention to new information in the future.” He writes something down on his paper. He’s probably making a note to mark me down for class participation.

    “Yes sir,” I say only loud enough for the class to hear.

    I reach up and pull a lock of my hair close to my face. It blocks a little of the light, but not nearly enough.

    It’s better than nothing.

    A few of the students whisper things amongst themselves and glance my way. 

    I hate this. 

    All of it.

    Even when I try and disappear, wear darker clothes, or hide behind taller people… the attention is always on me. 

    I really can’t help it. 

    I pull the lock of hair over my eyes and pretend like I’m scratching my face just so I can rest my eyes for a moment. 

    Ever since I fell and hit my head when I was five things have been louder for me. More… personal I guess. That sounds weird, but it’s true. I hear everything and it all jumbles together in my head. Music often helps tone down all the voices or gives me something cohesive to latch onto. Apparently, that’s not normal.

    I take a deep breath and open my eyes again.

    I doubt Mr. Sweeney would understand. I don’t think there is a way to make him understand especially since I’m only twelve.

    Twelve years old and in high school. 

    Ugh.

    I wince as another wave of people’s thoughts fills my brain and makes my head throb.

    Maybe I could faint… they’d have to take me back, wouldn’t they? 

    But then that would ruin the field trip for everyone else. Not that they want to be here though. Maybe I’d be doing everyone here a favour. Mr. Sweeney doesn’t seem to get that unless something here, probably a dinosaur, comes to life and reeks havok, nobody cares about any of this except for him.

    “But since you had decided that you’re above the lecture,” he begins, looking back towards me, “why don’t you reiterate what I had said about the grey whales and their feeding habits?”

    A myriad of sighs sweeps through the class. My sigh included, though I doubt we’re sighing for the same reasons.

    Was his lecture really that boring?

    I doubt I could give any better.

    I clear my throat and my mind flashes back to the information card at the front of the displays. “Grey whales are bottom-feeding coastal cetaceans. They’re also filter feeders. That means that grey whales use their baleen plates to filter out their food from the water. They will eat amphipods, isopods, tube worms, mysids, crustaceans, and larval fish.” I take a deep breath and hope that my answer is good enough. 

    The sour thoughts of my classmates tell me that they didn’t find my knowledge very amusing.

    But their thoughts don’t count for anything, I tell myself. They don’t count for any-

    A thought from Mr. Sweeney appears amongst all the others.

    *Know-it-all.*

    I take a deep breath as my eyes well up with tears.

    I just can’t do anything right, can I? 

    “Nice job, superfreak.” Garwin, a fellow classmate, shoves past me to follow Mr. Sweeney as he marches off to a different exhibit. 

    He was still sour that I had gotten a full scholarship from Yale just after they had sent him his rejection letter.

    I squeeze my eyes shut.

    I can’t make friends. I can’t answer a simple question without sounding stuck up. I can’t even stop trying not to act like a “superfreak”. 

    I wipe my eyes with my sleeve and take another deep breath. 

    “Maybe they’ll write another article on you!” He clears his throat and looks back at me. “‘Child Prodigy Teaches Class About the Lame-o-saurus.” He laughs at his own stupid, stupid – I swallow – stupid joke.

    Why? Why did he have to be so bitter? 

    I mean… I’m not even allowed to go. My parents won’t let me. They said so because it would be too much attention and too much pressure for a twelve-year-old. I’d have to agree.

    I don’t even know how that one writer in the paper found out about it. They had written a whole article about how I had chosen a city college over an Ivy League. My parents weren’t very pleased and neither was the editor.

    The article about me had replaced an article about an arsonist terrorising the city with bizarre fires of white-hot flames and smoke that smelled eerily similar to burnt sugar. No one knew what the heck was going on. That whole story had to be more important than a little girl, no matter how smart people thought she was.

    I shake my head and move to follow my class.

    *there she is. It has to be*

    What? 

    I turn to look around the museum and find a tall, dark-haired boy staring at me from across the room. He held an open newspaper in his hands.

    Weird.

    I try and look away, reminding myself that if I miss this class Mr. Sweeney will do more than mark me down a couple of points, but his eyes… his beautiful sea glass eyes… they keep me focused on him like they have some sort of mystic power keeping me in place.

    This guy is very very weird.

    Before I can think on it anymore, he straightens and closes the distance between us. 

    I can’t move.

    He gives me a movie-start sort of smile and holds out the newspaper. He points to my picture. “Is that you?”

    It takes me a moment to find my voice. “Eh…” I find that I can’t say anything at all and just nod instead. 

    That’ll be fine, right? 

    He squints at the picture and nods. “I thought so.” He looks back over at me. “I didn’t realise your eyes were brown like that though.”

    His words shake me out of my daze and I step back a little. 

    What does he mean by “brown like that”? My eyes, unlike the rest of me, are perfectly normal. They’re one of the only things I like about myself.

    I open my mouth to reply, but the thoughts leave my brain the moment I do so. “Um… yeah…?” is all I can get out.

    He shrugs and looks off to the side “casually”. “No reason.”

    Riiight…

    His accent is weird too now that I think about it. It’s kind of British sounding, but different… crisper maybe? Whatever it is… I don’t like it. 

    “Are… are you in this class?” I ask, wishing I could take them back as soon as I say them. Of course, he’s not in your class, idiot. You’ve never even seen him before and now he’ll think you’re an idiot.

    He smiles again and it makes my insides squirm. A smile should never be that perfect… 

    “No, I’m not.” He looks over at the other room and points to the dinosaur statue in the middle. It’s an Albertosaurus by the looks of it. “Tell me something.”

    I nod slowly.

    “Do you *really* think that’s what they looked like? It’s a little absurd, isn’t it?”

    My brows crease in confusion. “No… not really.” I look back at the dinosaur and squint at it. It has a big mouth, sharp teeth, ridiculously short arm… seems normal enough to me. “Why?”

    He laughs and looks down at his shoes for a short moment before looking back at me. “Never mind. I’ll leave you be. Nice to meet you, Sophie.”

    He turns to leave just as a whole bunch of kindergarteners barrel into the whale exhibit. Their screams – both the ones said and the ones in their minds – make me take a step back. I hold my head in my hands, grimacing. I close my eyes, suddenly feeling dizzy as the voices stab into my skull. 

     Then, I remember I’m not alone.

     Though it hurts, I open my eyes and look around, seeing if anyone had noticed. I lock eyes with the boy. His fingers are at his temples and he wears a pained expression. One that I could only imagine I had moments before.

    He steps closer to me. “Did you just… hear that?” he asks in a hushed tone.

    I feel the blood drain from my face.

    No.

    *No.* It can’t be. He couldn’t mean…

    No, no. It couldn’t have been. He must mean the screaming children. Their shrieks and giggles were enough noise to make anyone cringe along with all the other voices in the room…

    Voices.

    I gasp and take a step away from him. I can’t… I can’t hear his voice. “Who are you?” I whisper. His mind is completely and utterly silent.

    How?

    His eyes widen in surprise. “You did–didn’t you?” He moves closer and I step backward. He whispers, “Are you a telepath?”

    The word makes me flinch. My skin heats and begins to itch under the scrutiny of his gaze. 

    His face lights up. I guess my expression gave him all the information he needed. “You are! I can’t believe it!” He cringes at the volume of his voice. “This is incredible,” he whispers.

    I take a few more quick steps back, hoping he won’t follow.

    What’s going on and why does he know what I can do? I don’t want anyone to know!

    “It’s okay,” he starts, holding out his hands as he continues to come closer like I’m some sort of wild animal. “You don’t have to be afraid. I’m one too.”

    I freeze. 

    I want to run. I want to hide. 

    I can’t move.

    “My name’s Fitz,” he adds as if that will make everything a bit better.

    Please, be a joke. Just a bully. It would be better than this.

    But a quick search of his face tells me everything. He’s not joking.

    “I’m not joking,” he says. 

    I tremble and clench my hands. For seven years I’ve been wishing I could find someone like me–someone who could do what I can. But now… the world seems to be tilted to both the left and right, up and down. 

    “It’s okay. I’m here to help.”

    But I’m not listening.

    The walls seem to close in and the room starts to spin.

    I need air.

    Air.

    I jerk away from him and run toward the entrance. I bolt through the door and run down the stairs, barely able to keep my balance. The smoke from the fires burns my lungs and bits of white ash in the air stick to my skin and clothes. It’s a total sensation nightmare.

    “Sophie, come back!”

    Ignore, ignore, ignoreignoreignore.

    I need to get away!

    I race through the courtyard, past the fountain, and over the grassy knolls to the sidewalk. No one’s around. They’re all inside because of the air. I can hear his footsteps gaining on me.

    “Wait!” Fitz calls. “You don’t have to be afraid!’

    Don’t I?

    I pour the rest of my energy into sprinting across the crosswalk, but before I can get even halfway through, I jump and stumble at the sound of screeching tyres.

-----

I hope you enjoyed this first chapter. The second chapter will be posted this Saturday. For more chapters sooner, visit The Lost Cities on A03 by Slytherin_Green_Queen.

[peaches2217]

Given the sheer number of WIPs I have, I think it's time to start participating in WIP Wednesday. Today, we begin with one I started in late May/early June and still haven't been able to quite piece together! I am DETERMINED to finish this, and maybe posting a snippet here will help kick me into gear with it 😅

Tentative title is To You Who Hung the Moon, but I'm not sure if I'm sticking with it or not.

~~~

Eyes as big and blue as a clear sky stared up at Peach.

She startled, instinctively putting distance between them. “I… I’m so sorry,” she stumbled, pressing a palm against her burning cheek. Impulse had gotten the better of her, and here she was, paying for it immediately. “I didn’t mean to intrude on your personal space.”

Mario just kept staring, and Peach wondered if it was the shock that made him so unabashed, or the combination of pain and healing magic coursing through his system. 

But eventually he grinned, and her heart settled back into its proper place.

“I won’t tell anyone.” His words were slow and a bit slurred, and Peach was somehow relieved, especially as he reached up to touch his forehead. He wasn’t all there. The chances that he’d remember this were slim.

Seeing the way he blushed as he felt the space where she’d placed her impromptu kiss, she wasn’t sure if she truly wanted that or not, but it was undoubtedly for the best.

This was far from the first kiss he’d received since being admitted to the infirmary. It was part of their unspoken system, after all: a kiss to the nose for a job well done, a kiss to the cheek in show of personal gratitude, and a kiss to the forehead for healing and strength. And he’d been receiving plenty of the latter over the past few days, because he was too stubborn for his own good and kept refusing painkillers, assuring the doctors through gritted teeth in a strained voice that he felt PERFECTLY okie-dokie, thank you very much.

(“I can’t bust out of here if I’m too loopy to see past my own nose!” he’d reasoned, tapping his nose in emphasis. “You can’t bust out of here with a broken femur either,” Luigi had fired back, and Mario simply muttered something about wills and ways.)

But this kiss broke tradition. There had been no healing magic behind it, no psychological benefits that he could reap from it in his sleep. No, this kiss had been entirely selfish, conveyed all the things Peach wanted to say but couldn’t quite find the resolve to, not yet.

Thank you for not leaving me.

That thought alone had been swirling about her head every waking moment of the past four days, among a myriad of others. “He’s gonna be okie-dokie, don’t you worry!” Luigi had been quick to say, turning her away from his pale, bruised body swaddled in bandages already soaked red. “Mario, he’s a tough guy, and I’m no good at lying, you know? So if I say he’s gonna be okay, he’s definitely gonna be okay.”

Even while shaken to the very edge of her limit, Peach had been able to tell he was saying that as much for his own sake as hers, so she clasped his hands in hers and promised to help in any way she could.

It hadn’t been Bowser, not this time, and it wasn’t her life he’d nearly given his own for. Peach wasn’t sure if she could live with herself had the circumstances been any different.

“You look so sad,” Mario noted, inadvertently pulling Peach from her brooding. “Do I need to start telling bad jokes again?”

~~~

I've got a few more disjointed sections written out, but that's the longest cohesive section. What do y'all think? Worth reviving?

[bageltopia]

may I ask how you plan out your fics? I’ve been wanting to get back into writing, especially for multi chapter fics, but I’m not quite sure how to approach it. I’ve always liked the structure of your fics so I was just wondering if you have any tips! Thanks!

hello, sorry this took a while to answer! but sure, i’d be happy to share and thanks for enjoying my fics!

first: this is something that differs from a couple other writers, but i never think of my fics as i’m writing them as “multi chap” fics in the traditional sense. i just think of it as one cohesive story, and then decide as i go (or after the first draft is done) how best to break it up the sections into chapters in order to best serve the story. i’m just not a “release the chapters as they’re written” person, and that is something that really colors my writing and planning process. i find this allows me the greatest degree of control over my storytelling. if i decide something from the beginning is no longer flowing or serving the story the way i want it to, i can go back and adjust it as many times as i want because it’s not published yet.

i also am NOT a discovery writer when it comes to longfics. for shorter things - let’s say anything 15-20k or under - i often let the plot make itself known to me, but for longer ideas, i like to plan.

but i know other writers operate differently, so YMMV!

i wrote a lot more on this than i thought i would, so rest is under the cut

as far as planning - i often start with a huge infodump doc where i just write a bullet-pointed steam of consciousness for all of my thoughts/screaming/inspiration/mental breakdowns lol/etc. after that’s all out, i organize it into different plot points that i want to address.

if you’ve ever looked into the way tv shows are written, i like to plan my longer ideas around a somewhat similar framework - there is the A plot, the B plot, the C plot, etc. maybe even a D or E depending on the show, running as a through line across all the episodes. and since this is fan fiction, one of those plots (if not the main one) is almost always going to be the romance between the main pairing, unless you’re writing gen fic. i personally like to add other story-driven elements in addition to the romance that allow me to add character development, mystery, excitement, intrigue, etc.

i’ll use Lightning’s End, my 52k lusan fic, as an example here. i only had 2 major plotlines that i thought of for that fic. 

A = sanji developing + realizing his feelings for luffy

B = the island they land on and the mystery of it (and how it conceivably grounds the work in canon)

these two things unfolded pretty concurrently in LE, but they might not always!

i like to weave the 2 elements together, decide how they interact with one another, and then actually put together the events of the fic - sketch out what actually is going to happen and how. i don’t really do intensive scene-by-scene outlining other than when i’m in the actual writing process, but i want to know any broad strokes before i put pen to paper!

for LE, i can distill this down in “chapter 1” (or the first 10k) as: the storm sweeps sanji + luffy overboard >> they stargaze and have an emotional breakthrough discussing their pasts >> they find out they’re not alone on the island.

when i actually start writing, i decide what actually is concretely happening in the scene, where they are, what little things each character is doing in the moment, etc.

i also keep a running log of little details i want to remember to sprinkle throughout; anything funny, sweet, inspiring, angsty. physical or behavioral characteristics i want certain characters to have, etc. so i can keep track of them and remember to make them consistent. some of these even end up becoming motifs for the story!

in a nutshell, i like to approach longfics from a big —> small view. decide the plot points, construct the conflict/resolution for each, decide how each of those individual conflicts play into each other, and then decide the scenes and details.

for Lightning’s End, weaving the 2 plot points together got me to 5 chapters at 52k total. for moonlighters, i had a lot more plot points—that themselves required more exposition and development—to get through. approximately 5 or 6, according to my notes, and then i went through the process of making sure they were all interwoven throughout each of the scenes and events i had planned or written. circling back to make sure each of my scenes were always serving one or more of these plots was key for me.

i’ve talked a little bit on discord and twitter of the notion project i’ve made for moonlighters haha…if you happened to have seen that:

i want to make it clear that notion was only ever a tool for me to organize these thoughts that i was already putting into practice from my previous multi chap fics, just in a way that was a lot more regimented and trackable. and highly tailored to me and my planning process. you could probably accomplish the same thing on google sheets, or docs, or excel, or even on pen and paper. i just happen to like notion’s system :D :D

[peronasbeloved]

🎫 here's a gush pass ^^ feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other self shippers (optional) !

(if you dont wanna do it thats fine too ✌🏾) -@gideongrovel

i held back on answering this for a hot minute because i have this weird paranoia that if i were to ever say a single incorrect thing about my fave i’d just die from embarrassment and i still haven’t finished rewatching thriller bark so i’m not done refreshing my memory (one piece is loooooong, details slip from my mind sometimes) but you know what .i don’t wanna wait any longer cause i wuv her… it’s hard to even put my thoughts in a cohesive way so this’ll prolly just be gibberish almost

UM SHE IS SO CUTE. IDK IF U NOTICED BUT SHES FUCKIN CUTE. most adorable person ever mayhaps? completely true it’s been fact checked? but seriously just look at her fucking look

her pouting face like r u kidding me. i’d die for you . i’ve already said this somewhere on this blog but she’s the only op character where i equally enjoy her pre and post time skip design like i just think both are amazing. more proof that she is perfect in every single way

i just love her so much she’s so beautiful and cute and confident and i love her attitude . she can be as rude as she wants i do not care i support all her wrongs. i think one of my favorite moments is her unwillingness to back down even when facing kuma like she rlly looked at a twenty-something foot tall warlord and went ‘nah, i’d win’ and like she DIDNT but like she didn’t back down and i think that’s so cool… her power is just the coolest too fucking everything about her is cool. she’s the coolest girl you ever saw

i feel like this also goes without saying but just her entire design plays a huge part… she just has the best taste in fashion and speaking of that i just always feel this connection to her cuz we share interests maybe that’s surface level but… i too, love gothic fashion and spooky gothic castle. i too, love stuffed animals. she likes STUFFED ANIMALS and she’s a VILLAIN??? like come the fuck on character of all time

SHES SO GOOFY SILLY TOO SHE MAKES ME LAUGH SO MUCH

UMMMM so basically p.erona best in da world

grhrhgGhGrhgghhGhh !!!! AUHGHGHFHSHXHSHHHGH.l.. yeah. 🧍

i’m not sure who i’d pass the gush pass on to, uh i don’t rlly have anyone who i’m close to around here yet (many followers though, which i’m so so grateful for i appreciate every single one of you!) but sure i might do that part too. why limit it to 3 though, everyone deserves a gush pass. in da whole world

[kamomie]

my live notes on foolish betrayal lmao

Again, I took these live. You can see I got too tired to continue when we got to the interrogation part.

It's a long read. I'm currently trying to make a more cohesive overlook. this is all the q!characters I just got tired and needed to sacrifice some stuff for quick note taking lol

Teleported out of nowhere, yet excited to get attention and a mission. Willingness to do whatever, has a limit but isn't bothered say what his limit is. Cucurucho tells him “I trust your strong sense of justice” which don’t align with q!foolish really? Even q!foolish himself is confused by this/seems to kinda disagree, but quickly adjusts to please cucurucho in order to secure getting a mission? (Scapegoat foolish arc too?).

Is taken aback by the arrest mission, seems uneasy at first, but no spoken qualms about doing it. Excited about the possibility of being able to just choose someone and arrest them for whatever. Admits to not really understanding Cucurucho’s ‘angle’.

Immediately believes Cucurucho’s words regarding Tazercraft being behind mr. mustards disappearing.  Only a little “are you sure?” and foolish is on board and believes cucurucho. Agrees immediately. No attempt to defy or get out of the situation. Goes straight for how he can get them to the cucurucho office. Genuinely thinks they won’t get mad? Relies on his being on good terms and considered a silly little guy, to get away with betrayal. Does not want to be seen with cucurucho by the others in the tunnel. Not forthcoming/upfront. Uses the situation to get a gun. Believes it’ll bring mr. mustard back, but does question how, though quickly moves past that. Keeps saying “they’ll understand.”

Doesn’t really take it seriously. Finally asks a good question “why doesn’t cucurucho arrest them himself? He’s done it before and is probably more capable of it?” doesn’t take his own line of thought seriously, and reverts to self-confidence, “maybe they think I’m a threatening guy, maybe it’s the outfit”.

There is never a moment of second guessing, he is ready to do it, despite being a bit nervous.

Allows them to finish haircut. Says to tazercraft he has something important to tell them, in an excited sort of way, no warning given. He makes it seem like he wants to share information or show off something. Has a chance to come clean when asked why he disappeared out of thin air, but just gets more excited and keeps quiet, lies somewhat to make it seem like lore-sharing. Excited. Just excitement.

Liar. Says he doesn’t want to do it but has to. No indication that he was forced to do so. He willingly agreed to it. Didn’t attempt to say no.  Tazercraft asks why? Foolish says, good question, do you have anything to do with mr. mustard, and tazercraft denies. Says he feels bad but doesn’t really. trusts cucurucho over his friends. Continues being excited and kinda bragging about his arrest? Even though he KNOWS it’s not something others will be happy about. Refuses to share information. Other than ‘I was told to arrest them because they kidnapped mr. mustard’. Can’t provide proof of the statement. Refuses to share who told him that. Doesn’t believe he has anything to do with tazercraft disappearing despite being the one leading them to cucurucho and arresting them. Says a whole lot of nothing. Bunch of empty words all circling back to the same fact: He will not share information. Keeps admitting to arresting tazercraft proudly, but again not sharing any actual information.

The way he answers cellbit shows that he does understand that he did something perceived as wrong by his friends. Even when cellbit makes it clear, that if foolish is in any way omitting truth and not sharing information, he would no longer consider him a friend, he still chooses to not share his actual information and continues his talking without any substance.

Lied to Jaiden about richarlyson.

[reaching-ruchnius]

Since we started eating kosher we order and do takeout food from out much much less (like twice a month down from 1-2x per week.) so our groceries bill naturally has gone up quite a bit, and it isn’t the cost of the kosher food because the only thing that’s really a significant increase is meat and we have only had 1 meat meal per month at our house the past 2 months (it just isn’t something we feel we need more often. We eat fish a lot now. And it’s easier this way) so it isn’t that we’re buying more expensive food items, I’m pretty sure. I didn’t grow up with any type of budgeting knowledge, education or experience. I kinda thought of food as something that was always a “justifiable” expense so not something to worry about the budget, cus you can always be frugal elsewhere like buying secondhand clothes and not buying expensive cosmetics or other luxury items. I realize that’s a privileged outlook. Tbh I do have ADHD in the way that, just getting everything into the house that I need to create cohesive, nutritious, enjoyable, kosher meals feels like a miraculous accomplishment for me. Like it’s a lot for me I know it sounds basic. But I have recently been struggling with huge guilt over the price/cost of groceries. Idk if we are spending more or the same or less on food overall cus as I said, I never had the wherewithal to budget for that. I always just figured we’d be ok and so far we have been but that’s kinda a scary way to go about things. I’m always questioning what I can afford. And the fact that I don’t contribute financially really makes me worry because it’s so much all on my husband and Ideally I want to do everything I can to negate the stress. But I haven’t honestly done much work toward that in this specific regard (I have been successful in saving money in other arenas, such as not buying many new items and making do w what we have, mending things when they break instead of replacing)

Idk it’s a combination of things. When I was growing up, I remember buying normal sized packages of food items for like less than $2 and now it feels like no single package of food is less than $4.75 at the store (I’m exaggerating there but really, when did bread become $6? When did a box of Oreos become more than $5? Maybe I just didn’t pay attention until recently but everything feels too expensive..)

Not to mention the time expense of cooking, but of course I’m so so happy to do it. But it is something I cannot help but to factor in because whenever I’m doing a sustained task like that, my kids are likely missing out on my attention for a bit and it can be distressing for all involved. I’m just trying my best and I’m pretty sure we are doing ok but how do people afford to do all this and also have lots of kids and then send them all to the Hebrew day schools 😭 when I first started having kids I was determined I would homeschool them but more and more I’m realizing Hebrew day school would be ideal in many ways. But like, how on earth to afford such a thing? And camp? And yeshiva and college? Like. Where is this money coming from … and when I do go back to the workforce how am I going to manage the household to the standard I want …? Just how 😭 idk idk. I’m having a lack of faith moment I guess because it has all worked out in the past so , I should just do my best and realize that things will be ok.

I’m having like these racing guilt and anxious thoughts. Idk why…

It is for sure time (overdue acrually) for me to make a groceries budget. I know that.

[filmmarvel]

Ted Lasso S3 Thoughts!

I want to talk about my overall thoughts on Season 3 before the finale comes out, because I’m sure I’ll have a lot to say about that! So let’s just get right into it. A lot of plot points and storylines felt like 1-off, little set ‘em up knock ‘em down types of things, as opposed to full arcs that carried a clear theme throughout the season. A big part of this is the focus being on such a wide variety of characters, and having to cover so many stories at once. This led to Ted being sidelined a bit? Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a huge part of the show, and had some great moments this season, but there was still a clear shift from previous seasons. In some ways I think this made a lot of sense- the team is becoming more like a family, we’re getting to know everyone and understand their individual stories more. While I like that idea, the lack of consistency when it came to Ted’s screen time was noticeable (he’s kind of the beating heart of the show). Some of the strongest episodes were ones where he was at the forefront. This whole season just felt a little less cohesive, with so many different things going on. Some of the extended arcs, like Colin’s and Nate’s were good, though. And as I’ve seen a number of other people pointing out, it kind of felt like they were just trying to cram as many hot topics into the season as they could, because they couldn’t really afford to focus on that many specific characters having longer arcs (which again, is why many of the characters had 1-2 episode arcs so that the focus could then be shifted to someone else). It starts to seem a bit like they were running out of ideas, so I’m glad they’re ending the show with intention instead of dragging it out. Another part of this issue (something that @king-author pointed out really well), is that we didn’t get to witness a lot of the important, impactful moments (particularly concerning Nate’s storyline). I think this season would’ve been a lot better (not that it was bad, just a bit of a step down), if they had chosen to focus on these bigger storylines and developing particular characters, as opposed to creating a bunch of random problems to keep everyone involved.

One particular storyline I’ve got issues with- I didn’t really see a point to the whole Keeley/Roy/Jack thing? Roy and Keeley’s breakup never really made all that much sense in the first place, but I understand the benefit of having Keeley go solo for a while. But then why bring Jack into the mix? It was pretty clear that Roy and Keeley were going to get back together, and so I didn’t really see any point to their relationship beyond an excuse to give Keeley more screen time (which I think could’ve been used in better ways).

So overall, this season has been kind of hit and miss. Since I talked about some of the misses already, let’s go over some of the hits! This last episode was absolute fantastic, between Roy and Keeley being back together, Ted having impactful tear-jerker moments, and Jamie having a moving arc once again, it felt like old times. Rebecca had some great moments as well recently, particularly her speech and everything with Rupert in Episode 10. She’s such a wonderful character, and that was a fantastic way to end her multi-season arc with Rupert. I also loved Jade! She and Nate have a fantastic dynamic, I really like the impact she’s had on him, she’s just a perfect addition to the show. And I think this goes without saying, but so many of the characters remain totally delightful (Sam, Jamie, Dani, Will, etc). This show is still wildly wholesome, sweet, and entertaining. And judging from the last few episodes, they’re going out strong! I have no doubt that the finale will be fantastic.

Anyways, I didn’t expect this review to be this long! If anyone actually made it this far, thanks for reading, and let me know what you think! Do you agree, and what did you like/dislike about this season?

[hime-memes]

                           • Shania Twain Lyric Starters •

Unfortunately, I am country at heart -- so, we have some starters from the lyrics of one of the most celebrated country singing queens on the planet ! ( Second only to Dolly Parton ! ) I’m talking about Shania Twain ! ( I mostly went with the greatest hits, with a few of my lesser known faves sprinkled in, and there is a vast variety of lyrics under the cut to choose from ! )  

As always: These have been modified for cohesive and sensical use for the general RPC. Feel free to change anything within these that you see fit to make it work for your muse & the receiver’s muse !

Recommended For: Any muses/plots/timelines.

Trigger Warnings For: Cheating, alcohol mentions, innuendo, light swearing

‘ From This Moment On ‘ “ From this moment; life has begun. “ “ From this moment; you are the one. “ “ Right beside you is where I belong ... from this moment on. “ “ I live only for your happiness. “ “ ... And for your love ? I'd give my last breath. “ “ I give my hand to you with all my heart ! “  “ I can't wait to live my life with you; I can't wait to start. “ “ You and I will never be apart. “ “ ... My dreams came true because of you ... “ “ As long as I live: I will love you, I promise you this. “ “ There is nothing I wouldn't give from this moment on. “ “ You're the reason I believe in love. “ “ ... You're the answer to my prayers from up above. “ “ All we need is just the two of us. “ ‘ You’re Still The One ‘ “ Looks like we made it ! “ “ Look how far we've come, [ insert petname ]. “ “ We mighta took the long way, but we knew we'd get there someday. “ “ They said, ‘ I bet they'll never make it ! ‘ ... “ “ Just look at us holding on. We're still together; still going strong ! “ “ You're still the one I run to. “ “ You’re the one that I belong to. “ “ You're still the one I want for life ! “ “ You're still the one that I love ... the only one I dream of. “ “ ... You're still the one I kiss goodnight. “ “ Ain't nothin' better; we beat the odds together. “ “ I'm glad we didn't listen: Look at what we would be missin' ! “  ‘ Man ! I Feel Like A Woman ! ‘ “ Let's go, girls ! “  “ I'm goin' out tonight, and gonna let it all hang out. “ “ I wanna make some noise: really raise my voice ! “  “ Yeah, I wanna scream and shout ! “  “ No inhibitions, make no conditions & get a little outta line ... “ “ I ain't gonna act politically correct: I only wanna have a good time ! “  “ The best thing about bein' a woman ? Is the prerogative to have a little fun ! “ " Oh yeah, go totally crazy ... forget I'm a lady ... “  “ Men's shirts, short skirts -- really go wild & ( yeah ), doin' it in style ! “  " I’ll get in on the action, maybe feel the attraction ... “ “ I’ll color my hair, do what I dare -- I wanna be free to feel the way I feel. “ “ Man, I feel like a woman ! “  “ The girls need a break. Tonight, we're gonna take the chance to get out on the town. “ “ We don't need romance. “ “ We only wanna dance. “ “ We're gonna let our hair hang down. “ ‘ Honey, I’m Home ‘ “ The car won't start, it's falling apart ! “  “ I was late for work and the boss got smart ... “ “ My pantyline shows; I got a run in my hose ... My hair went flat ! ( Man, I hate that ! “ “Just when I thought things couldn't get worse: I realized I forgot my purse ! “ “ With all this stress I must confess, this could be worse than PMS. “ “ This job ain't worth the pay ! “ “ Can't wait till the end of the day ... “ “ Hey, honey, I'm on my way ! “  “ Honey, I'm home and I had a hard day ... “ “ Pour me a cold one -- and oh, by the way ... ! “ “ Rub my feet, gimme something to eat ... Fix me up my favorite treat ! “ “ Honey, I'm back: my head's killing me ! I need to relax and watch TV. “ “ Get off the phone an’ give the dog a bone ! “ “ I broke a nail opening the mail -- I cursed out loud 'cause it hurt like hell. “ “ This job's a pain, it's so mundane: it sure don't stimulate my brain ... “ “ Oh, rub my neck will you ? “ “ Oh, that feels much better ! “ ‘ That Don’t Impress Me Much ‘ “ I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart, but you've got being right down to an art. “ “ You think you're a genius: you drive me up the wall ! “ “ You're a regular original, a know-it-all ... “ " You think you're special ... oh, you think you're something else ! “ “ ... OK, so you're a rocket scientist ? “ “ That don't impress me much. “ “ So you got the brains, but have you got the touch ? “ “ Now, don't get me wrong, I think you're alright -- but that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night. “ “ I never knew a guy who carried a mirror in his pocket & a comb up his sleeve, ‘just in case‘ ! “ “ ... And all that extra-hold gel in your hair oughtta lock it; 'Cause Heaven forbid, it should fall outta place ... “ “ OK, so you're Brad Pitt ? “ “ So you got the looks, but have you got the touch ? “ “ You're one of those guys who likes to shine his machine ... “ “ You make me take off my shoes before you let me get in ! “ “ I can't believe you kiss your car good night ! Now, c'mon, baby, tell me ? ... You must be jokin', right ? “ “ OK, so you've got a car ? That don't impress me much. “ “ So you got the moves, but have you got the touch ? “ " That won't keep me warm on a long, cold, lonely night ... “ “ OK. So, what do you think ? You're Elvis or something ? “ “ Whatever ... That don't impress me. “ ‘ Love Gets Me Every Time ‘ “ Life was going great ! “  “ Love was gonna have to wait -- I was in no hurry, had no worries. “ “ Staying single was the plan, I didn't need a steady man. “ “ I had it covered, 'til I discovered ... that love gets me every time ! “ “ My heart changed my mind. “ “ And I gol' darn gone and done it ! “ “ I guess I fell in love. “  “ Must've been the way he walked ... or his sweet, sweet talk. ” “ I was quite content; Just a-payin' my own rent. “ “ It was my place: I needed my space ! “ “ I was free to shop around, in no rush to settle down. “ “ It's in the way he calls my name ... “ “ -- And I know I'll never be the same ! “ ‘ Don’t Be Stupid, ( You Know I Love You ) ‘ “ You're so complicated ! “ “ You hang over my shoulder when I read my mail ... I don't appreciate it ! “ “ When I talk to other guys, you think they're on my tail. “ “ I get so aggravated when I get off the phone & I get the third degree ! “ “ I'm really feelin' frustrated ! “ “ Why don't you take a pill & put a little trust in me ? ... And you'll see ! “ “ Don't freak out until you know the facts, relax. “ “ Don't be stupid, you know I love you ! “ “ Don't be ridiculous, you know I need you ! “  “ Don't be absurd, you know I want you ! ” “ ... Don't be impossible ... “ “ I'm mad about you ! “ “ I can't live without you ! “ “ I'm crazy 'bout you ... “ “ Stop overreacting ! “ “ You even get suspicious when I paint my nails ! “  “ It's definitely distracting the way you dramatize every little small detail. “ ‘ Up ! ‘ “ It's 'bout as bad as it could be ! “ “ Seems everybody's buggin' me. “ “ Nothing wants to go my way, it just ain't been my day -- nothin's comin' easily ! “ “ -- Even my skin is acting weird ! “ “ I wish that I could grow a beard ... “ “ Then, I could cover up my spots: Not play connect the dots ... I just want to disappear ! “ “ It can only go up from here ! “ “ Even something as simple as forgettin' to fill up on gas ... there ain't no explanation why things like that can make you cry. “ “ Just gotta learn to have a laugh. “ “ When everything is goin' wrong: don't worry, it won't last for long ! “ “ Yeah, it's all gonna come around. Don't go let it get you down ! “ “ You gotta keep on holding on ! “ ‘ I’m Gonna Getcha Good ‘  “ I don't wantcha for the weekend ... don't wantcha for a night. I'm only interested if I can have you for life ... “ “ I know I sound serious -- & baby, I am. “ “ You're a fine piece of real estate, and I'm gonna get me some land ... “  “ So, don't try to run, honey ! “ “ Love can be fun ! There's no need to be alone when you find that someone. “ “ I'm gonna getcha while I gotcha in sight. “ “ I'm gonna getcha if it takes all night ! “ “ You can betcha by the time I say ‘ Go ! ‘, you'll never say ‘ No ’.  “ I'm gonna getcha, it's a matter of fact. “ “ I'm gonna getcha, don't you worry 'bout that ! “ “ You can bet your bottom dollar in time, you're gonna be mine ! “ “ Just like I should, I'll getcha good ! “ “ I've already planned it. Here's how it's gonna be: I'm gonna love you & you're gonna fall in love with me. “ “ I'm gonna knock on wood -- I'm gonna getcha somehow, honey ... Yeah, I'm gonna make it good ! “  ‘ Forever & For Always ‘ “ I can hear your heartbeat -- I can hear it beating now. “ “ In your arms: I can still feel the way you want me when you hold me. “ “ I can still hear the words you whispered when you told me: ‘ I can stay right here forever in your arms ‘ ... “ " There ain't no way I'm lettin' you go now. “ “ I'll never see that day. “ “ 'Cause I'm keepin' you forever and for always ! “  “ We will be together all of our days. I wanna wake up every mornin' to your sweet face, always ! “ “ In your heart: I can still hear a beat for every time you kiss me. “ “ ... And when we're apart, I know how much you miss me ! “ “ I can feel your love for me in your heart. “ “ In your eyes, I can still see the look of the one who really loves me ... “ “ The one who wouldn't put anythin' else in the world above me ...  “ “ I can still see your love for me in your eyes ! “ ‘ Ka - Ching ! ‘ “ We live in a greedy little world, that teaches every little boy and girl to earn as much as they can possibly, then turn around and spend it foolishly ! “ “ We've created us a credit card mess. We spend the money that we don't possess ! “ “ Our religion is to go and blow it all ! So, it's shopping every Sunday at the mall ... “ “ All we ever want is more ! ( A lot more than we had before ) ... “ “ So, take me to the nearest store ? “ “ Can you hear it ring ? “ “ It makes you want to sing ! “ “ It's such a beautiful thing, ‘ ka-ching ‘ ! “ “ Lots of diamond rings -- the happiness it brings ? “ “ ... You'll live like a king with lots of money and things. “ “ When you're broke, go and get a loan: take out another mortgage on your home. “ “ Consolidate so you can afford to go and spend some more when you get bored. “ “ Dig deeper in your pocket -- Come on, I know you've got it -- Just dig deeper in your wallet ! “ ‘ It Only Hurts When I’m Breathing ‘ “ Hope life's been good to you since you've been gone ? “ “ I'm doin' fine now; I've finally moved on. “ “ It's not so bad, I'm not that sad ... I'm not surprised just how well I survived. “ “ I'm over the worst & I feel so alive ! “ “ I can't complain ... I'm free again. “ “ ... And it only hurts when I'm breathing. “ “ My heart only breaks when it's beating. “ “ My dreams only die when I'm dreaming. “ “ ... Don't think I'm lyin' 'round, cryin' at night ... “ “ There's no need to worry, I'm really alright ! “ “ I've never looked back as a matter of fact ... “ ‘ Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under ? ‘ “ Whose bed have your boots been under ? ” “ Whose heart did you steal I wonder ? “ “ This time did it feel like thunder, baby ? “ “ Don't look so lonely & don't act so blue -- I know I'm not the only girl you run to ! “ “ I know about your ‘ little Spanish flame ‘. “ “ I've seen you around with the redhead down the lane. “ “ Who did you run to & whose lips have you been kissin' ?! “  “ ... And whose ear did you make a wish in ? “ “ Is she the one that you've been missin', baby ? “ “ I heard you've been sneakin' around with [ NAME ] ... “ “ ... and what about that weekend with Miss Beverly Hills ? “ “ And I've seen you walkin' with long legs Louise ... “ “ ... And you weren't just talkin' last night with [ NAME ] ! “ “ So next time you're lonely don't call on me ! ( Try the operator, maybe she'll be free ! ) “ “ You better start talkin', or you better start walkin' ! “ ‘ Any Man of Mine ‘ “ This is what a woman wants ! “ “ Any man of mine better be proud of me & even when I'm ugly, he still better love me ! “ “ -- And I can be late for a date, that's fine ! ( But, he better be on time ! ) “  “ Any man of mine'll say it fits just right when last year's dress is just a little too tight. “ “ -- And anything I do or say better be okay when I have a bad hair day. “ “ If I change my mind, a million times: I want to hear him say ‘ yeah, I like it that way ’ ! “ “ Any man of mine better walk the line ... and better show me a teasin' squeezin' pleasin' kinda time ! “ “ I need a man who knows how the story goes ! “ “ He's gotta be a heartbeatin', fine treatin', Breathtakin', earthquakin' kind ! “ “ Well any man of mine better disagree when I say another woman's lookin' better than me ! “ “ -- And when I cook him dinner & I burn it black, He better say:  ‘ Mmm, I like it like that ! ‘ “  “ Any man of mine, wooLet me hear you say yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah) “ You gotta shimmy, shake, make the earth quake -- kick, turn, stomp, stomp, then you jump heel to toe, then do si do ! “ “ 'Til your boots want to break, 'til your feet and your back ache -- Keep it movin' 'til you just can't take anymore ... “ “ Come on everybody on the floor ! “ 

‘ Come On Over ‘ “ Get a life ! Get a grip ! Get away somewhere, take a trip ! “ “ Take a break ! Take control ! Take advice from someone you know ! “  “ Pull up a seat & take a load off your feet ! “ “ You can unwind & take a load off your mind ... “ “ Make a Wish ! Make a move ! Make up your mind: you can choose ! “  “ When you're up, or when you're down -- when you need a laugh come around ! “  “ Be a winner ! Be a star ! Yeah, be happy to be who you are ! “  “ Gotta be yourself ! Gotta make a plan ! Gotta go for it while you can ... “ “ Come on over & come on in ! “ ‘ ( If You’re Not In It For Love ) I’m Outta Here ‘ “ Mind if I sit down ? “ “ Can I buy you a round ? “ “ Haven't seen your face before are you new in town ? “ “ It's the same old line ... every time. “ “ Are you here alone ? “ “ Can I take you home ? “ “ Now every woman sees with every ‘ pretty please ‘ -- There's a pair of lyin' eyes & a set of keys. “ “ He says come be a star, ( in the back seat of my car ) ! “  “ Oh, but, baby slow down -- you're goin' way too far ... “ “ If you're not willin' to give it all you got ... ? “ “ If you're not in it for life ... ? ” “ If you're not in it for love ... ? “ Let me make it clear to you my dear: If you're not in it for love, I'm outta here ... “ “ Babe, I can change your world; make you a cover girl ! “ “ Yeah, you could be a beauty queen in a magazine. “ “ ‘ Now tell me, what's your sign ? ‘, oh, why always the same old line ? “ “ I'll be in number 409 if you change your mind ... “ ‘ No One Needs To Know ‘ “ Am I dreamin' or stupid ? -- I think I've been hit by cupid ! “ “ ... But, no one needs to know right now. “ “ I met a tall, dark and handsome man & I've been busy makin' big plans ! “ " I got my heart set, my feet wet -- But, he don't even know it yet. “ " I'll tell him someday, some way, somehow ! “ “ -- But, I'm gonna keep it a secret for now ... “ “ I want bells to ring, a choir to sing, the white dress, the guests, the cake, the car, the whole darn thing ! “  “ We'll have a little girl, a little boy, a little Benji -- we call Leroy ! “ “ ... And I'm not lonely anymore at night, & he don't know that only he can make it right ... “ “ I'm not dreamin' or stupid -- But, boy have I been hit by cupid ! “  ‘ You Win My Love ‘ “ I'm lookin' for a lover who can rev his little engine up ... “ “ He can have a '55 Chevy or a fancy little pick-up truck ! “  “ If he's got a cool Cadillac with a jacuzzi in the back -- I'm in ! “  “ 'Cause I'm a classy little chassis who's a-huntin' for a heart to win ! “ “ Oh, but if you want to win it -- there's no speed limit. Just go faster, faster, don't be slow ! Rev it up, rev it up 'til your engine blows ... ! “ “ You win my love ! “  “ You win my soul ! “  “ You win my heart ! “  “ Yeah, you get it all ... “  “ You make my motor run ! “  “ Yeah, you're number one. “ “ Oh, I'm a crazy little lady -- yeah, the kind you just can't slow down. “ “ I need a '65 cylinder racy little run around town ! “ “ I want a heartbreak Harley ... A full of steam dream machine ... Or just a little late night sexy long stretch limousine ! “

‘ Don’t ‘ “ Don't ! “  “ Don't you wish we tried ? “ “ Do you feel what I feel inside ? “ “ You know our love is stronger than pride ! “ “ Oh no, don't ... don't let your anger grow. “ “ Just tell me what you need me to know ... “ “ Please talk to me ! Don't close the door ! “ “ 'Cause I wanna hear you ... I wanna be near you. “ “ Don't fight, don't argue ! “  “ Give me the chance to say that I'm sorry ... “ “ Just let me love you: don't turn me away, don't tell me to go ! “ “ Don't give up on trust; don't give up on me ... on us ! “  “ If we could just hold on long enough -- ! “ “ We can do it ! We'll get through it ... “ “ Don't pretend that it's okay. We both know things won't get better that way ... “ “ Don't do something you might regret someday. “ ‘ Party For Two ‘  “ I'm having me a party ! “  “ I don't think I can come ... “ “ Uh, uh, this ain't just any kind of party ... ! “  “ Nah, I think I'll stay at home. “  “ Uh, oh, no - It's gonna be really, really hot ... “ “ Startin' to sound good ... “  “ I'm gonna put you on the spot ! “ “ Baby, maybe I should ? “ “ Yeah, there'll be lots of one - on - one ! “ “ Guess I could be there ... “ “ Come on and join the fun ! “  “ What should I wear ? “ “ I'll tell you that it: it doesn't matter what you wear, 'cause it's only gonna be you and me there ! “ “ I'm having a party, a party for two ! “  “ I ain’t invitin' nobody ... Nobody but you ! “ “ You'll be sexy in your socks ... ! “ “ We can polish the floors ... “ “ In case anybody knocks ? “ “ Let's lock all the doors ... “ “ Yeah ? All the things I'm gonna do ! I'm gonna do with you ... “ “ I want to try something new ! “ “ I want to try it, too ! “  “ That's all we really need. “ “ We're gonna party hearty - Just you and me ! “  “ Don't think about it now, don't even doubt it now ! “  “ It’s just you and me there ... “ “ That was great ! // Let's do it again ! “