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thefanficmonster · 4 years ago

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Begone

Streamer Gang & Asexual Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Acephobia, Swearing

Genre: Platonic Fluff, Comfort, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having recently come out as asexual, Y/N faces some less than pleasant or appropriate responses in their chat during their stream with the gang. Luckily, they’re not alone in battling the haters this time.

Requested by the lovely Anon who told acephobes to begone, yeah you know who you are hehe. Thank you so much for the request darling! Let’s show these acehobes who they’re messing with! Love, Vy ❤

Boy is this nerve-wrecking or what? Sure, I maybe woke up with a ton of confidence, I listened to motivational and uplifting talks and listened to mood boosting music. I had a healthy breakfast and a cup of coffee. Damn it, I went on a run, all in an attempt to convince myself that dealing with the online world again is but a piece of cake for a badass like me. Well, low and behold, that feeling didn’t last very long. Here I am, chewing my nails off at the though of hopping in the Discord call and Among Us lobby with my friends and starting my stream. It’s not like I’m not expecting my friends and fans to support me - of course I am! I know they’re gonna give me a ton of love and appreciation and support and uplift me no matter what. But then again, there’s still those people who believe me and other people like me to be invalid and broken and whatnot.

Those are the ones I wanna avoid.

It’s not like their words mean much to me but I simply don’t wanna see em, you know? It’s not only about me - it’s least about me actually - it’s more about all those wonderful people they are insulting when they say shit like that about asexuals and all the people on the ace spectrum. I can’t help but flare up and get angry on the behalf of all my ace friends and even people I’ve never met.

It’s also my first time being directly thrown into the fire instead of getting caught in the crossfire seeing as how I came out to my fandom via a tweet and an Instagram post a week ago, telling my identity’s truth: finally bringing my asexuality to the surface to shine its brightest so I can be be my best and reach for my full potential.

But damn am I afraid to see how everyone took it.

My friends were quick to jump in and take me offline before I start refreshing my own posts to see the comments under them. Lord knows that without them I would’ve driven myself insane, I’ll forever be grateful for what they did and the lengths they went to to keep me offline and whatnot. One word to give you an idea of how invested they were in this: origami. All of us might as well have been born with two left hands and yet we still tried doing origami. Freaking origami.

Damn do I love my friends.

But now I don’t have sheets of paper and my friends to distract me. I have a fanbase to entertain and another friend group I haven’t talked to in a while. I don’t wanna get any predictions in already so I don’t jinx myself, so I’m just gonna say it’s gonna be...interesting regardless of what happens.

Then again, when is it not interesting when the streamer gang’s involved.

Deep breaths, Y/N. You got this

Listening to that encouraging little voice inside my head, I finally equip my headphones and in one fluid motion turn my camera on, officially starting my stream and unmuting my mic as I hop in the call with everyone.

“Hi guys! Guess who’s returned!“ I exclaim cheerfully, desperate to hide the nervousness of my voice.

“You really missed your opportunity to say ‘guess who’s back...back again’ didn’t you?“ Charlie is the one who greets me first, sounding rather disappointed in me in his usual jokester manner. It’s nice to hear, it makes me feel like nothing’s changed in the week I’ve been gone. Like I’m still the same person to these people. I really am the same, I just now am a lot better version of myself. Almost as though I’ve reached my final form. It feels empowering really. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Charlie laughs again, “Congrats, by the way. You keep proving you can get cooler and cooler.“

“Careful there Charlie, I can only handle so large of an ego.“ I joke back, rolling my eyes playfully as a wide grin spreads across my face, “No, but seriously, thank you so much, man. It means the world to me that you support me.“

“Um, how could we NOT?“ That’s very clearly Rae, “Hun, you are so brave and amazing and wonderful, how could we ever NOT support you?“

“Yeah, we’ll always support you no matter what, Y/N. We’ll always be your friends, through thick, thin and beyond.“ Poki too interferes, her words only making my smile wider.

“Alright, alright, y’all are gonna make me cry and I haven’t even read my chat yet, hold on.“ I say, fanning my face to dry the tears I hope the webcam isn’t spotting, “Darn, you guys are the best. Sorry, give me a sec to gather my composure, I’ll be right back.“

I quickly mute my in-game mic as I turn to my chat where I see the same amount of love and support in the form of comments and emojis flooding in from my viewers. A warm feeling spreads throughout my chest, making me feel the most comfortable with myself I’ve ever felt. The most loved I’ve ever felt. The most seen and understood. To finally be you feels like you are finally really living in this world, not like you’ve been already living in it for God knows how long. It makes me so freaking happy and fulfilled to finally be living as me, as the real me.

Unfortunately, in life, nothing can be 100% pure and good. There’s always at least 1% there threatening to ruin all your happiness you worked so hard to build or obtain. It may be one in a hundred, but fuck it’s powerful and effective.

And in my case it comes in the form of two comments that stick out to my eyes. Acephobic comments saying my identity’s fake, claiming I’m faking it, saying us acephobes are immature creatures who refuse to grow up, or attention whores. Or just saying we’re delusional and in denial, confused about who we are.

I hadn’t even realized I was clenching my jaw and fists but when I do, I slowly relax my muscles and crack my knuckles before addressing the two people who spat out that nonsense.

“Ok, listen here, shooterpro69 and yourmom_lol. For starters, I want to apologize for your ignorance and lack of education on the matter of asexuality. In fact, for you especially, I plan on making an educational video, explaining asexuality to people who need or want to learn more. You, my friends, are in desperate need to be fed some knowledge cause damn, God knows how many people secretly think you’re hella stupid. Not that they’re wrong to think so but anyway. Unless you have anything nice or positive to say, begone from my chat. Actually, when I think about it, begone from every chat. No one needs you polluting their communities with acephobia and hate.“ I say, all spoken in a calm tone despite the boiling anger within me. People who know me well would probably be able to tell I’m fuming underneath the calm façade, but at least I got my message across loud and clear.

“WOO HOO, You tell em Y/N!“ Toast cheers, clapping his hands and whistling as more cheering arises from each my friends, leaving me in a state of mild shock and confusion.

Wait, what?!

“Um, wait, you guys heard that?“ I ask, my eyes darting to thein-game mic symbol that shows an not crossed-off mic, meaning it was enabled during the entirety of my speech.

“Hell yeah we did! You slayed them, Y/N! Damn goddamn!“ Rae whistles too, her enthusiasm wafting over me like a breath of fresh air.

“I second that!“ Corpse joins in, “And remember what we said - we’ll support you through anything. Need to bury an acephobe’s body, we’re the people you should call.” He says, confident as heck.

And I just can’t hold it in anymore - I burst out laughing, doubling over from the intensity.

If I thought I was happy and fulfilled before, this has to be the closest to paradise I’m gonna get on Earth. All thanks to these wonderful people. Friends are really something else aren’t they: they come into your life - often unexpectedly - and change it completely. Suddenly you’re not alone, you’re not forced to deal with everything and face everything on your own. Someone’s got your back and you’ve got theirs.

Through thick, thin and beyond.

And it’s so fucking amazing.

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hoochy-coo · 4 years ago

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Ok staying incognito so stans won't find me. So I run a gossip account and found yours through the hiddleswift topic! Ironically enough me and my anons were also talking about it and most of us agree it was a casual fling they mutually milked for pr. I'm just asking if you have the same experience, but when I said the same for Harry and Olivia, wherein most likely it's a fling they're milking and using deuxmoi, purposely getting seen, and tabloids to keep the story going, I got so many hate and threats. It's kinda crazy actually and I heard the deuxmoi sub have been extra in gatekeeping Harry too? I wonder if you're experiencing the same cause I saw they were a topic here yesterday. It's so weird, I can even discuss Taylor Swift doing pr and the Swifties haven't come out for me. I said Bey and Jay-Z are still a couple but also keeping up appearance and the beyhives haven't come for me. It's only now that I've gotten so much hate just cause I said Harry is doing pr.

Hi there! I completely get why you decided to stay incognito. It’s unfortunate but I’d expect that you would most likely get tons of annoying messages if the stans found your blog lmao

Personally, I haven’t gotten any real threats but I did get some hate. However, I block and delete whenever I see one so I haven’t been bothered with all that many as of late (hopefully I didn’t just jinx it lmao). I’ve also noticed that like you said, Deuxmoi has been gatekeeping the Olivia/Harry relationship. I can’t find the asks right now but I recall a couple of anons telling me that DM was doing promotion for Olivia’s brand (True Botanicals) so I’m assuming someone from her camp is friendly with whoever it is that runs DM currently. The subreddit is also doxxing anyone that is loud about their opinion/speculation that the relationship is being milked for all its worth for PR reasons.

I’ve kinda addressed this before but my opinion is that historically, Harry’s fanbase has had a complicated relationship with the concept of PR (accusations of bearding, Larry, rabid 1D shippers, etc.) so his fans immediate think of “tin hats” whenever someone throws out that term. A lot of his stans also take offence to the prospect that he might actually need the press to keep relevant, like you know, the rest of Hollywood lol. I personally think it’s partially to do with this very specific image he and his team has crafted, where he values his privacy above all, don’t ever address anything in the press, don’t ever reveal too much about his private life, etc. Now his fans willing to die on the hill that he’s above media play and pap walks lol

#ask #answer #Harry styles #Olivia Wilde #I hope they stop giving you hate xxx

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lilaclily00 · 5 years ago

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The Party That Went From Haunted to Worse: A Summerween Tale

Danny hates his life sometimes. And ghost portals. And his little sister. It’s a mistake going anywhere with her.

-_-_-_

I thought this was going to just... never see the light of day like most of my WIPs, but AU!Ghost August (Day 11: Crossover) gave me the drive to actually continue, finish, and post this monstrosity. Thanks for the excuse to put this out to the world!

This is the original post for the OC, and here’s the link to this story on AO3.

There's some Zalgo Text in here, so at the end I’ll have the... translations? Is that the right word? It looks better in AO3, though. :(

Thank you for helping me with this, @goinggoblin!!!

LET’S GOOO

-_-_-_ (I don’t think there’s horizontal lines anymore? Yikes)

Dani—known as Ellie around here—handed over the last of the fake spider-webbing. “There you go, Mabel.”

Mabel cheerfully thanked her from the ladder rungs, then turned back to stick it to the wall. “Now time for the paper stuff!”

“Are you sure it's okay to just...” Danny gestured around at the incomplete decorations strung around the designated party room.

Mabel waved him off over her shoulder, tacking up a cutesy paper skeleton onto the wall with her other hand, then a sheet ghost next to it. “Of course! We invited you!”

Ellie nudged Danny—well, it was much too hard of an elbowing to be classified as a nudge by most people, but not for them. “Lighten up, bro. It's not very often you get to go to parties, right?”

“Yeah. I know.” He knew she didn't mean his popularity—the fact it didn't exist—but that he just didn't have the time or energy for it most of the time. He wouldn't have gone to anything like this if she hadn't dragged him along as an excuse to take a break from ghost hunting.

Back in junior year, she’d sent him letters and photos from one of her longest stops in her travels, a dinky town called Gravity Falls, Oregon. She became good friends with a pair of twins around her age there, and they all stayed in touch afterwards. The twins invited her to hang out plenty since then, but this was the first time she told Danny to come along.

He had a complicated relationship with Halloween, considering the Fright Knight incident and all the kids and even adults that had started dressing up as Phantom (to varying levels of success and cringe). However, he had to admit he was intrigued with the idea of Summerween, especially when it was so far from Amity Park that its ghosts and fanbase would be very unlikely to interfere.

Even just thinking that, though, made him wonder if he just jinxed himself.

“Mabel,” they heard her twin call from the residential part of the Mystery Shack, “there's something wrong with the wig!”

Mabel shook her spiky, blue-haired head, hands on her red-uniformed hips. “No, there isn't! I would know!” She wagged her finger towards the visiting pair. “I'll go help him, so don't go anywhere!” She ran off, nearly tripping over her own costume.

“They really like to play up the twin thing, huh?” Danny asked his little sister in the silence. Someone had to acknowledge that the party's hosts were dressing up as Thing 1 and Thing 2. (He wasn’t sure what kinds of friends he suspected Ellie would make, but these two were a surprise.)

“At least they don't feel the need to be a walking pun at every opportunity,” she retorted, flipping back her Batman cape dramatically.

“I always am a walking pun. This is my truest self!” Danny gestured to his own costume, a classic zombie attire with green skin and fake blood everywhere.

“Har har.”

He looked over at the little pile of “spooky” images waiting on the top of the ladder, and took his pick of a large paper spider. He glanced back to the doorway where the twins disappeared off to, and quickly floated up to tape it to the ceiling with a grin.

“How are you going to explain how you got that there?” she giggled as he hovered back at her side.

“I won’t,” he replied smugly, touching ground. Just in time, too, as both Dipper and Mabel reappeared, now with their outfits and hair matching.

Mabel chirped, “If you guys help me with these last touches, this place will be perfect just in time for the party!”

Dipper fiddled with his sleeves, giving her a crooked smile. “At your orders, Mabes.”

-_-_-_

Danny was surprised by how many people actually showed up to what he expected to be a relatively small affair. Dipper had informed him that he and his sister lived in California for most of the year; despite that, it seemed the pair were very popular in their second home, Gravity Falls. Mabel introduced him to several of her friends, shouting over the loud pop music booming out the speakers, and he didn’t remember a single name.

Da—Ellie, he kept forgetting to call her that—was familiar with quite a few people, too. She stuck close to her big brother, though, until he ordered her to hang out with her friends instead. He appreciated the sentiment, but he could handle being by himself at a party.

Right?

He tried to dance for a few songs, but it wasn’t feeling natural. He then went to the refreshment tables for a jack-o-lantern cupcake. Maybe he needed to try to socialize after all. Hm, that one redheaded girl Mabel introduced to him seemed cool. He scanned the area for her face—

Wait.

His eyes narrowed, studying the long white hair halfway across the room. It wasn’t as glowy as usual, but he’d know that hair anywhere. He pocketed the cupcake wrapper and pushed his way through the crowd. Finally, his ghost sense said something as he crossed the dance floor.

"Hey, ghost girl!" he shouted over the music. Her head turned 180 like an owl, pigtails following slightly slower than physics demanded, then she calmly turned the rest of her body to him. Her ever-present blank, wide-eyed stare bored into him, and never strayed, as she easily swerved around the dancing kids toward him. He noticed that she made an effort of walking on the ground rather than floating.

"Hi, zombie," she replied, the slightest smile on her face showing she knew exactly who she was talking to. She was never really scared of him or angry at him. If anything, she seemed to like talking to him. He supposed it was because he was among the closest to her physical age in the Ghost Zone.

He was not going to be friendly, though, and showed it by crossing his arms at her. "What are you doing here?"

She clasped her hands behind her back. "I’d like to ask you that. You hardly ever leave your lair.”

Danny scrunched his eyebrows, then glanced around in case anyone heard her. “Do you mean Amity Park?”

“Yeah.”

He frowned warily. Considering their past interactions, it seemed like a genuinely curious question. She wasn’t the type to use his absence as a chance to cause chaos back home. (If only the other ghosts were the same way.) “I got invited to hang out here for the weekend. And I don’t think it counts as my lair.”

“I think it does,” she replied with the barest of shrugs, still staring at him, unblinking. “I’m here ‘cause a door opened up in the woods right by here," she added. "There was a flyer for this party taped up on a tree. It said there was gonna be cookies."

He scrunched his eyebrows. "You can't even eat human cookies." She finally blinked as that registered, and her gaze broke to look at the ground as she wilted under the weight of her disappointment. Drama queen. "And I know you're planning to scare the kids here, if you haven't already started. C'mon, let's go."

"What?" She flicked her eyes back up to him, igniting a small light in her irises, disrupting her otherwise unglowy appearance. Her entire face slowly, ever so slowly, began to twist clockwise on her head. "It's Summerween!"

He held up a hand; he knew exactly what she was going to argue. "I know it's like Halloween, but it's still the wrong date. We agreed on no mass hauntings outside of October 31st."

Her eyebrows just so slightly scrunched, about the closest she could get to looking angry. "This isn't a very big party."

He had to give her that; it was bigger than he expected, but still only a few dozen, which potentially wasn't enough to count as a mass of people. And everyone here was around their age, which was less worrying than her chasing down little kids just for a laugh.

Her big, empty eyes were unsettling, yet they nearly pleaded with him. He couldn't stand when she did that. He rubbed the side of his face in defeat, forgetting for a second about his zombie makeup. "Oh, fine! Only in this party. And nothing too scary. Otherwise, you go right into the thermos."

"Sounds good to me," she chirped, mouth curled into a small smile by her ear instead of her chin.

"Oh, do you guys know each other?" Danny glanced over to see the hosts themselves come from behind him. He turned back, tapping his cheek at the ghost. She knew the signal, and covered her face to recover its natural orientation.

"Kind of," he told Dipper.

The ghost girl uncovered her face, and smiled shyly at the twins. "I'm Lily. Nice to meet you." Danny raised his eyebrows at her; this whole time, she had an actual name?

"I'm Mabel! Lily, I love your costume!" Mabel squealed, hands smushing her own face. "You're so cute and creepy and ah!"

"Yeah, you did a great job," Dipper added, quiet admiration on his face as he quickly studied her appearance. Danny guessed he was wondering why the wig and body paint looked so realistic. Mabel did a fantastic job with their own costumes, but it was hard to make poofy, blue wigs not look like wigs. "I'm Dipper, by the way."

"You should totally enter the costume contest!" Mabel added, hands hovering, as if itching to reach out and inspect Lily's dress. "It’s later tonight!"

"Oh, maybe I will," she said, eyes flickering between the twins. They fixed onto Dipper when he had looked back up to her face. After a few seconds of an impromptu staring contest, Dipper turned his eyes away, blinking and glancing at Danny, unsure of himself.

Mabel seemed to not have noticed, as she continued rambling to Lily, who patiently listened, empty eyes directed back to Mabel and small smile held up.

"She takes Halloween——er, and Summerween costumes very seriously," Danny told Dipper. "Pretty sure she'll try to creep the crap out of everybody here."

"Well, seems like she's actually good at it," the boy admitted with an awkward chuckle. "But hey, that's what this holiday is for, right?"

-_-_-_

Lily was right there, right in plain sight, swaying to the music by herself, but Danny knew she wasn’t as innocent as she looked. Even now, she was beginning her haunting.

It was just little stuff. There were a few small spiders on the fake webs, real ones. The door opened automatically for newcomers. The jack-o-lantern cupcakes, once all smiling, now had one smiling evilly in the center of the platter while the rest wore a fearful frown. She was staring blankly at Dipper at every opportunity.

Danny had fetched his thermos soon after their conversation and clipped it to his belt. He tried to distract himself by talking to people, like the girl that turned out to be named Wendy, and bopping his head to the background beat. Nonetheless, he couldn’t help but keep his eye on her and her effects. Why did his problems from home have to follow him everywhere? Why did he have to jinx himself?

He felt his sister ram into his back. "Danny, I sensed a ghost!"

"Yeah, so did I. It’s the white-haired girl. I worked out a deal with her," he immediately replied, sigh heavy and beyond his years.

Da—Ellie slowly shifted into a suspicious frown. "Wait, what? What kind of deal?"

"She gets to haunt the party for the night, and will peacefully return to the Ghost Zone after." Danny wilted under her glare. "Look, sh-she's even less harmless than the Box Ghost. She's all about the scare factor, doesn't try to hurt anyone—well, maybe makes them lose their sleep if they can't handle horror movies, but still. If I don't compromise here, she'll go for much bigger plans later to spite me. I promise I know what I'm doing!"

"Since when have you known what you're doing?" She shook her head, surely knowing how very offended he was by her comment. "This just doesn't sound like you, bro."

He shrugged exaggeratedly. "She doesn't operate the same way as most ghosts."

“So that made it okay to let loose a prankster ghost on these people?”

“Well, geez, it sounds terrible if you put it like that.”

She shook her head at him again before turning away with a dramatic cape twirl. He suddenly realized she does that at him a lot.

-_-_-_

Something was off.

Dipper had made all the necessary precautions for a Summerween party he could think of. He had left anti-magic wards hidden around the house—not unicorn hair strong, but still effective against most of what could possibly threaten a gathering like this. He’d cleared out the trash cans so the gnomes would have no reason to stick around. He locked up Gompers in the attic (he never proved to be dangerous, but that goat was terrifying).

But then when he went to take a break by a cobwebbed corner, he found real spiders on it. A lot of real spiders. The party lights, which were supposed to change color every few seconds, got stuck on red when he passed by them. The doors creaked open ominously when anyone came near them. He went to pour out some fruit punch, and the dispenser screamed when he pressed on it.

Every time he noticed one of these things, he glanced around him and immediately found that ghost girl staring straight at him.

Dipper ran to check the nearest ward, but it was still intact. However, there was something written next to it on the wall, in red.

You think you can keep me out?

Well, that wasn’t good.

The only suspect so far was the girl—Lily, right? Perhaps she wasn’t just dressed up as a ghost after all. But she looked too solid to be a ghost, though he hadn’t seen anyone actually try to touch her yet, and these things that were happening just didn’t have the same MO as the ghosts described in the Journals or those he faced in the past. But what other kinds of supernatural creatures could do things like this? Which ones would?

Mabel poked his shoulder, startling him enough that he bumped against the wall. She didn’t laugh, however, her attention focused on his wig. Eyes narrowed, she slowly said, “Dipper, is there blood in your hair?”

He ripped the wig off his head. Red liquid seeped out of its roots, matting down the poofed hair. He hesitantly touched a finger to it and sniffed. It smelled like copper.

Mabel pulled her own off, and found the same result. Face scrunched up in disgust, she tossed it to him and ran off to the bathroom. He could hear the door creak much louder than normal even from here.

Lily was staring at him, a blank smile on her face.

A part of him chastised himself for coming to conclusions too fast, but what other conclusion was there? And performing an exorcism, if it came to that, wouldn’t hurt something that wasn’t a ghost, right?

Clearly, what he needed to do next was talk to this girl, find out her motives before her little act became big. Just in case, though, he’d need to pull out that new silver mirror first.

-_-_-_

Amity Park and Gravity Falls were not very similar, but Danny realized there was something in common between their townsfolk: they were somewhat clueless. Not that he eavesdropped that much into the different conversations on the edges of the dance floor, but it seemed hardly anyone had noticed the odd tension in the air, the invisible slimy feeling on their skin of the supernatural hiding in their midst. Something coming.

Or, well, that that paper spider he stuck to the ceiling had grown several times its original size and crawled over one of the ceiling lights.

Ellie was consoling Mabel, who stood by the refreshments without her wig on. She glanced over to him a couple times just to glare.

He was trying to not keep his focus on Lily too much for his own sanity, but his eyes didn’t listen to his brain. They kept roaming the crowd to keep track of her. She looked like she wasn’t doing anything, but…

The eyes of the various wall decorations followed him wherever he went. Distant screaming could barely be heard over the music, if he tried to listen, but it came from nowhere. More spiders poured out of abandoned plastic cups. (She really liked that aesthetic, apparently.)

He only caught her in the act once at the refreshments table: she studied one of the Halloween-colored M&M cookies in her hand and threw it into her mouth. After a second, she pulled it back out, staring at it like it was the cause of all her problems. She disintegrated the cookie she couldn’t eat. When she turned away, all the other cookies had turned into oatmeal raisin.

How evil.

“Hey, Danny?”

He blinked and turned to see Wendy. She quirked her eyebrow at him. “What’s got you making that constipated face?”

He blinked at her even harder and she laughed. He huffed, scratching at his hair. “There’s just weird stuff going on.”

“Oh, yeah,” she agreed, “this party’s totally haunted.”

“Actually—” He had enhanced hearing, and he still wasn’t sure he heard that right. “Yeah, it is. You noticed?”

“Well, it was kinda hard to ignore.” She nodded to herself. “I thought I heard creepy laughing coming from the bathroom and there was nobody there. ‘I’m here’ was written on the mirror in blood, though. Once I came back out, more stuff just kept popping up. There’s definitely a ghost.”

Danny frowned. “And… why aren’t you freaked out?”

“Well, same reason you aren’t. Dipper’s gonna take care of it.”

Alarm bells rang in his head, drowning out that distant screaming. “What do you mean ‘take care of it’?”

She tilted her head quizzically. “Don’t you already know him? This is totally Dipper’s thing, knowing about the supernatural and saving people from it. He already took down ghosts before. He’s probably getting everything ready for an exorcism or something right now.”

Exorcism. Exorcism. His skin crawled at that word. Ellie was friends with a kid that performed exorcisms in his spare time?

He remembered that Lily had been pulling that constant-stare thing on Dipper before. She had stopped at some point, which meant Dipper was out of sight, which meant maybe he really was planning something to get rid of her. Permanently.

Wendy said, “Hey, man, you okay?” just loud enough to bring him back out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, uh, just need to find Dipper,” he muttered, turning away and quickly searching the room for his face. Where was that kid, where was he, where was he—?

He hadn’t noticed that the music had slowly quieted down until Mabel was shouting by the DJ table. “Hey, everybody! We’re gonna start the costume contest in five minutes! Come over here if you wanna be in it!” The lights flickered for a couple seconds. “Oh, that’s new! We’ll get Soos to fix ‘em!”

Okay, there’s Mabel. Where there’s Mabel, there’s likely a Dipper. Or maybe an Ellie. He figured he should probably talk to her, too, even if she’ll give him that look again, wondering how she shared the exact same DNA with his doofus self.

-_-_-_

Mabel watched as the chatter grew louder with her hands on her hips. “There you go, Dipdop, I moved up the contest. The sacrifices I make to my carefully planned schedules for you!” She turned back to the playlist and rose the volume. The song sounded strangely distorted and screechy and demented, causing everyone to cover their ears. She quickly stopped the music. “But I guess you’re right that things are getting out of hand.”

Yes, he was. The freaky little instances seemed to have gotten worse in the few minutes he had spent grabbing the mirror and Journal 3 upstairs. The fastest way to find the ghost: have her come to him.

Grenda and Candy came running up in their matching “party animals” costumes, along with a couple other kids they barely knew. Danny rushed to the table, eyes wide and much more awake than any zombie had the right to be. Dipper opened his mouth, about to turn that into an actual joke, but Danny beat him.

“Do you know anything about ghosts?” The words practically tumbled out of Danny’s mouth.

Dipper raised his eyebrows. “Well, yeah.”

“And how to defeat them?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your plan?”

Dipper considered Danny’s strangely serious face. Then, he said, “Make her come out, find out her motives and if there’s something we can do to make her leave. Trap her away if she doesn’t want to, and exorcise her as a last resort.”

Danny set his frown grimmer and grimmer as he spoke. The lights flickered. “I think you need to reconsider the severity of this haunting. I can’t let you—”

Click.

The lights all went out, and the room was an inkier black than it should’ve been on a warm summer Oregon night. Large objects screeched as they dragged across the floor, bumping into people. Dipper felt something crawl over his feet, heard the table in front of him slide away. Just over the random yelps and screams of the attendees, a dark laughter rang.

They flicked back on. The tables, speakers, and party lights were all randomly located throughout the room. The attendees were stunned to silence, taking some seconds before their chatter began anew as they inspected their new surroundings.

A girl with a white wig (it had to be her real hair) and painted blue skin (she didn’t have skin) slipped through the crowd, glancing between the three with that little smile gracing her face. “Can I join the costume contest?”

Dipper couldn’t stop himself from setting a glare on her, gripping tighter the silver mirror behind his back. Mabel, who had more tact, plastered a grin on and said, “Of course! I invited you to do it, didn’t I?”

Lily nodded and quietly took her place by Candy, who was not the only contestant staring at her warily. She ignored them all, eyes unfocused as she fiddled with one of her pigtails.

Dipper glanced back over to Danny from the corner of his eye. “I think you don’t know what you’re talking about,” he told him quietly. “Just let me do my job.”

“Your job?” Danny hissed in return, far more offended than Dipper expected him to be. “Just let me talk to her—”

“What, do I look like I haven’t done this before?”

Danny tugged at his hair. “Listen to me! You need to change your plan!”

All the paper decorations promptly dropped from the walls, fluttering to the floor, except for the cutesy ghosts.

Mabel shouted over their quiet arguing, “Last call if you want to be in the contest!”

Ellie strode up, determination in her footsteps as she lined up beside Lily.

-_-_-_

Now that the music wasn’t playing, Danny could see people inspecting their surroundings a little more. Now that she wasn’t hidden among the crowd, Danny could see a few of those people second-guess Lily, watching her rock back and forth on her feet with a calculating eye. He wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. If there was anyone else here like Dipper...

He had to give up on talking sense into the kid because the contest was starting. Mabel was doing it by applause, and he couldn’t hear anything else over it.

Mabel wrote down on a notepad (though he had no clue what she’d be writing down), nodding thoughtfully to herself. “Looks like it’s between Count Dracula,” she shouted, gesturing with her pen to a kid in an elaborate vampire costume then to Lily, “and the ghost! One more vote decides the winner!”

The other contestants moved aside, but not too far. Ellie glanced over to Danny as she stepped back a couple feet. She was planning something, he knew it. With how mad she was at him, he had the distinct feeling he should be running for what remained of his life.

Dipper pulled Danny’s arm back as the applause rang again. When it stopped, he spoke in a dangerously low voice. “You said you knew her. You said she would try to scare everyone.”

Danny bit his lip for a second. “I did say something like that, huh?”

Quiet fury grew in Dipper’s eyes. “Well, fine. If you’re not going to do anything—” The rest was drowned out by the applause roaring up again, startled shouts mixed in as the lights flickered again, but Danny could guess, and his heart dropped to his stomach as Dipper turned away without giving him a chance to reply.

“Dracula wins!” Mabel announced, and a cheer rose up once again. “But the rest of you were great, too!”

Ellie stepped back up to Lily when the claps died back down. “Sorry you lost,” she said.

“Oh, it’s okay,” she replied amicably. “It wouldn’t really be fair if I won, anyway. I’m not a̙͈ ͖̩̠̬c̯͔̼t͚̮̗̙u̟͖͕a̻͙ ̼ll͙̙͎y̹ ̬͔̣̻̣w̠e̞̤ͅ ̪̖̦̤͍ͅ ̥ar͙͈i͈̳̰̜n̪̼̮ ͈ ̟̫͍̰͍ͅg̱ͅ ̟ ̦͇͓̻̹͇̼ ̝̯̦ ̹̬̟̱ ̭͈̠͇̟͖ ̗̤̯̮̭ a̬̯̰̦̞̪ͅ ̣̜͖ͅ ̬͚̪̫͎̰ c̫̗ ̜͕͕͇̤ ̤o ̥̮̺s̹̜͕͇t̬̘̮̼ ̗̞̥̣̖̼ ͇ ̣͓̹ u̹͖̙͙͇̠ ̼͉͓̰͙ ̝̯͍͙͍͓ ̭ ̤ ̖̠̠̙͖̮͕ ̜͔͔̮ ̖ ͚̤ͅ ̤ ̪̤̖͓̘͉ͅ ̭̳̜m̦̼̲̫ ̲̫͔̳̮͎ ̖̩̝̙̦͇ ̲̯̠͙̬ ̝ ̠͔̼͈͖ ̰̹ ̘͎̺̗ ̳̠̫̳̻̥ ̥͚̙͈̠͙ ̪̖͎̳̻ ͔͉̰͈̳ ̠ ͇̺̫ ͚̲̻̥͚͎̣ ̖̫̖̭ͅͅ ̩ ̩e͙͍͎̙̺̜.͇͍̩”

Lily’s hair and dress floated, revealing blobs of ectoplasm instead of legs. The lights went out, then returned in a dim, red hue. She was already up in the air, eyes glowing, face twisting. She raised her arms, and objects began to float at her command. Attendees screamed, almost loud enough to not hear the unsettling laughter coming from all sides. A couple of them tried to leave, but the door wouldn’t budge.

“Hey!” Dipper shouted as he ran to her. He was holding a… small mirror? “What do you want, ghost?”

She abruptly turned her head to him, face upside-down. Her voice had a demonic overtone as she replied, “T͍̝o̗͙ͅ ̥m͈a͕̲k̶̼͙̻e̼̟̼ ̳̱y̨o҉͎̹u͔͇̬͟ ̼s̹̙cr͉̦͇̮̭͇͡e̺͓͖̱̤̗a̪͙͓̩̮͟m͢.͎̮̳̱̬̯”

“Come on, there has to be something else,” he insisted, hand gripping the mirror harder. Danny inched his way; that mirror had to be a trap of some kind, and he wasn’t going to let Dipper use it—not when Danny didn’t know if he could get her back out of it.

“I know what you don’t want,” Ellie shouted, holding out a Fenton Thermos. Wait—Danny felt for the thermos on his belt. It was gone. She stole his thermos. How did he not notice until now?!

Lily stared her down, but she didn’t look scared. “Y̘o̺͎͖̱u̖̜̳̭̺ ̸̣̭̥̦͉̙̭s̝͢h̨o͙̞u̠͓̰̙͉l��͉̠̗̣̥̗d̯̩̮̦̯͎̗’̨v̰̘̹͞e̙͉̘̦̱ ̶̙us̻̩̪͎̝̯e̯̱̜̬̮̝̫d͕͢ ì̟t̗̻̬̯͕̪͘ ̝͉w̹̤̫h̞̼̫̹̘̲͍͢e̖ņ̦̹̬̣̫̱ ̗̟̺y̵̬̤͖͓̖o̰̯̪̟̼̥u̟̩̰̙͢ ̝̖͕̗́h̪̰͝a̖͍̲͉͡d͕̹ ͙͖̬͉͟t̻̗̠͈̝h͚͚̜̖͎̕ͅe̼̰͍ ̰̲̪̥c͏̟̞̝͓̫h̗̤͚̲͔̼a̯͎̳͇͙̝͈n̦̥̜̹͘ͅc̳̭ȩ,” she answered, holding her hand out at Ellie. She began to float off the ground, yelping as she flailed her arms and legs in the air. She lost her grip on the thermos as she suddenly began to spasm, as if fighting off a—no, she couldn’t be.

She stilled, eyes closed, then opened them. They were glowing ecto-green. She was dull and slack-jawed, staring off at nothing.

Danny couldn’t help the dread trickling into his chest. She wasn’t really...?

He stepped towards her, and she... glanced down at him? Oh, she didn’t.

She winked.

She did.

Danny felt a thrill of anger run through him—how could his own clone decide to act possessed and make all of this worse? (When did those two even get to plan this?!) It was clearly working, with how all the partygoers stared at her in horror, looking like they were about to pass out.

“A̛̫̙̮n͏y̗͇o̩̝͇̫n͖̜̬͇͖͖e̳ ̣̱̙̭͓e̤͚͉͉̮l̢̞̦̟s͎̱͍͍̩e̪̭͘ ͈͡w͖͚̩̹͉͢a͇͔̘ņ͎̟̣̫n͈͉̕a̷̟̝̯̬͚ ̭̱͉̟͔͘p̷̙̬̮̫̲͈̞̼͇̜͇̎̐͊ͨͅ l̜͖̲̀̇̚ ̼ ̤̄ a͙̻̲̰͂̋ͦ̎͌̏ ̬̘͍ͯ͝ ̙͎͚̊̆̆ͨ̚ ̝̟̎͑͐ͬ́ỵ̶͉͉̳ͨͥ̌͋̓ͅ ̖͉͓̙ͮ͌̑ͤ̽?̡͎̦̭̩̙̰͎”

Danny was about to dive for the thermos and suck both of them in (Ellie absolutely deserved it too, now), but he saw Dipper holding up the mirror and beginning a chant from a thick book. He had to take care of that first. He tackled the boy to the ground. The mirror slid away, unbroken, and both of them scrambled to get up and grab it first. Danny won, barely, and Dipper tackled him in return.

“Give me that!” Dipper growled, furiously trying to pull the mirror out of Danny’s hands.

Danny elbowed him away. “No, we need to use the thermos!”

“Why?!”

“Because—” he grunted as Dipper kicked him surprisingly hard— “it’ll work better!”

“And why should I believe you? You don’t care about stopping her!”

“I never said I didn’t!” Dipper paused his fighting. “I said to change your plan because she doesn’t deserve to be killed or trapped forever, and I already know that!” Danny pushed the other boy off of him and stood up, brushing himself off. “The longer we argue, the more she’ll make everyone pee their pants.”

“Okay, fine, we’ll use your thermos thing,” Dipper grumbled as he pushed himself back to standing. He sobered as he saw food flying around and Ellie still floating there, gawking into space. “You better be right.”

“Of course I am.”

Danny sprinted for the thermos. He turned it on the second his hand touched it. Lily and Ellie apparently heard its mechanical whine, as they both glanced at him, Lily wide-eyed in a different way than usual.

“I̙̻̺’̩͍m͇͔͢ ͅṋ̰̮̦͎͡ͅo̞̤t̩̯̰̖̱͖͖ ͞f͚̜̙͢ǐ̭͉͓͈̅͗ͥͅn̝̯̻͎̣̰̱̅i̮̹͔̲ͨͥ̋̆̕s̓̽ͤ͑̋҉̜͈̱̪h̤͉̫̭͍̒͆̉̈̊̐e̵͈̣͖dͧ͏͎͍̻ ̖͙́̇̒͛ẅ̘̠̤̤̭̒̾͟ḭ̩͈̥̬̅ͪt̰͇̟̹͖͂ͪͪ͋͟ḩ̝̯̖̤͉ͬ́͌—”

He gave her an apologetic look as he pulled the lid off. She let out a chilling, unnatural scream as she was sucked in, the finale to her entire performance.

Everything that had been floating crashed down, the lights flicked back to their usual white, and the laughing died off. Ellie fell to the floor, rubbing at her head and looking around as if dazed (that little liar).

“Are you okay?” Mabel cried as she ran to Ellie’s side, just as Dipper came up to him and asked, “Are you sure she can’t get out?”

“Yeah,” Danny replied, knocking his knuckles against it. “I’ll let her out in the Ghost Zone.”

“The Ghost Zone?”

He found himself explaining it halfmindedly, the rest of him focused on inspecting the party. It looked like everything really was back to normal, minus the rearranged room and food that fell to the floor.

“That’s amazing!” Dipper’s eyes sparkled, and Danny could finally see what Wendy meant about him wanting to know the supernatural, too. “I have so many questions!”

Danny suddenly suspected he’d be here a long time if those questions started now. “How about you write them down and I’ll tell you about it when the party’s over?”

He was surprised that Dipper agreed so easily, running off to grab Mabel’s pen. With that, he snuck out of the party, thermos in hand.

-_-_-_

Danny took the lid off again, watching as Lily reformed. She stretched her arms over her head with a sigh. He rubbed at his neck. “Sorry about trapping you, I didn’t really have a better choice.”

"That was still really fun!" She giggled, with the biggest smile Danny had ever witnessed her pulling. Her coloring shifted back to how she usually looked in the Ghost Zone, with purple hair, gray-black skin, and her dress bleached from black to bright white. She was officially out of her “scare-mode”, it seemed.

He huffed. "If you tone it down next time, and not include my sister in your schemes, I might not have to resort to it again.” He glanced around. “Well, time for you to go home. Is that portal still open?"

"Perhaps." Lily floated into the forest, and Danny warily followed.

Only a few minutes passed before they came across a long rip in the air, carved out in front of one of the many trees, shining ecto green like a bleeding wound. One of its neighbor trees wore a sparkly Summerween party flyer.

"See you later, Phantom!” Lily chirped. “Oh, and let Mabel know her cookies were good!" She paused to wave, her grin lingering on her face turned counterclockwise, then flew through.

Danny watched the portal until it closed; luckily, it only took a minute or two to stitch the fabric of reality back together, leaving no trace. Well, except for his nerves being fried for the night.

He was not looking forward to Ellie’s smug grin.

It’s a mistake going anywhere with her.

-_-_-_

Zalgo Text:

"I'm not actually wearing a costume."

"To make you scream."

"You should've used it when you had the chance."

"Anyone else wanna play?"

"I'm not finished with—"

#Danny Phantom #DP #ghostsona #AU!Ghost August #aughost #Lily? Lily.#Lily? Lily. Fic.#Gravity Falls #GF #DPxGF crossover #crossover #DP headcanons awaaaaay #and yay spooky times #Dani and Danny call each other siblings but otherwise this is basically post-canon (minus PP maybe?)

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justanotherdumpingground · 6 years ago

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Chapter Reviews: April 30-May 4, 2019 + Thoughts on Upcoming Stories

Wishful Thinking Chapter 4:

I actually replayed the book again just to get the cat, and it was worth the purchase. Her lines amuse me.

Anyway, back to the chapter. The part where MC helped Louis and Sara reconcile was sweet, though I laughed at Sara saying that she received anti-wrinkle cream by accident. Nevertheless, it's a good start for MC to explore and develope her mind reading ability.

I have a soft spot for most animals, and the puppy is no exception. Even his dialogue is so adorable, especially when coupled with Jinx. I hope to see more of those two.

The library investigation was kinda fun, especially with the premium choice to go after the guy with the documents. Seriously, that got me intrigued. And hello again, Anna. It's nice to finally see her again despite being away for her boss, who happens to have a recycled model.

Bah, I can't stand Alec. First, he's initially dismissive towards the MC's ideas unless proven otherwise. Then, he forces Ellen to overwork only to shut her down (she may be no saint, but she's still entitled to fair working conditions as well as therapy). Seriously, I'd like to have him ejected and replaced with a better boss. I don't care that he takes back his word on the library after the MC's investigation. What really matters is that he should stop playing favorites. Nothing against my MC, just wishing that Alec would just behave or beware.

Gee, playing Wishful Thinking makes me miss Hero. It's not super good, but I still had fun playing it. Oh, how I wish Book 2 will be released soon. At least Wishful Thinking is fun to play so far.

High School Story: Class Act Chapter 12:

For the candidate I picked to stay, I chose Rory. Arts are underappreciated in Berry High and one one with the least focus compared to sports, which already has played significance on the plot (Book 1 of the first trilogy, for instance). I get that the twin's family, but they're still a freshman and probably not the strongest candidate, as well as particiapting in the election just because instead of having a more concrete motivation like Rory. I didn't go see Emerald with Rory and the twin, however.

I'm glad Ajay has found a support system in the form of talking with kids with divorced parents. He needs help as soon as possible, and I'm glad Emma has provided it. I wonder why the first trilogy MC is absent. After all, they mentioned in a premium scene that their parents are divorced as well.

Didn't attend Rory's cousin's wedding because Rory's not my love interest, so no interest in discussing it. Anyway, I just want this election drama to end and Lorenzo to realize that his platform is futile.

Across the Void Chapter 20:

Dang, that was another intense chapter. Sucks that I have to pay diamonds to save Aquari's life, but I did it anyway. Not to mention that the operation was a success with only one injury. Glad everyone's okay.

I'm gonna skip through the romance bits and jump straight to the upcoming landing on Cyber. I'm glad the MC is smart enough to ask Lyra about the meeting between the Vanguard and Jura on Cyber. After she said it was Barlow's idea, I'm now worried how the Atlas can disarm the trap the Void laid on them. I'm excited to see what's next.

America's Most Eligible Chapter 16:

I'm not surprised that Adam wears a tux and proposes to the MC, especially when Omar grabbed something from him in an earlier chapter. It was kind of romantic to propose after he was voted the most eligible because I chose not to pick the premium option to talk to the jury. Oh, well. Glad to see that my MC and Adam will spend the rest of their days in bliss, though I don't think an extra book just to get them married is necessary.

Ugh, can Piper be any more intrusive? If boasting about the Game of Love with Jen was bad enough, she had to barge into the mansion and bring up the smack talk. Glad Jen rejected the offer to join Piper's show, and Wrenn stood up against Piper. I didn't pick the option to give Piper a piece of my mind, but at least it was satisfying enough to watch Jen become showrunner.

Overall, I find Book 2 much weaker than Book 1. The double eliminations pretty much ensure that multiple people get eliminated, especially most of the new contestants. It's a shame, especially since Bianca could've been a proper love interest but was shoved aside in the end. While I appreciate Ivy, Vince, and Slater espousing a gray morality in their view of things, it remains untapped potential. Like, how can it be used to develop them further, especially Ivy because she's a contestant since Book 1. It gets worse when Ivy and Slater are practically interchangeable, effectively watering them down to the same person. And why do we need another marriage-based book? Do we already have enough?

Nightbound Chapter 3:

Luc seems nice and helpful, though I'm not still not sure whether my MC will pursue him. And the same goes for Cal, who seems to be a nice guy despite being a werewolf. I'm not pleased to run errands, but he does sound like he cares for his brother. And what's with Kristof having Nikolai Petrov's model? Made me wince, thought at least the octopus tattoo is gone.

Great. Another collection set. This time, it's similar to the portrait fragments in Bloodbound. I wonder what secrets do they unlock. I wouldn't be surprised if it allows us to learn more about the person who's after the MC by sending that bloodwraith.

Anyway, I'm still excited for this despite my lack of concrete thoughts on it because it's still too early.

Passport to Romance Chapter 8:

Great, sibling drama between Elliot and William. Not only is their arguing forgettable, but Elliot sounds so entitled. He left his responsibilities on his company to his brother, who also misses their parents. Seriously, what's with this guy? I was initially relieved that he's out of my group to recover, only for him to reappear in the last scene. Oh well. He better behave, though.

So far, this story's just meh. Not too excited for Marisa's birthday, though I'm expecting drama along the way.

Open Heart Chapter 12:

This chapter is emotional, and I love it. First, it stings that the nurses except Danny are no longer nice to the MC. I have my top suspects, but I still think everyone is innocent until proven guilty. That includes Aurora and Landry. There's no reason why I should hate them both.

Did I adopt all three animals? Yup. I'm a sucker for these lovely creatures, and they're already a joy to have with me. The turtle's the one I like the most so far.

If there's one character in this chapter continually gives an emotional punch, that would be Mrs. Martinez. It was fun and satisfying to steal the needed medication from Declan Nash. I was overjoyed to see Mrs. Martinez getting better and traveling around the world after the hospital held a farewell party for her. Most of all, hearing that she died in her sleep was so painful to hear that it left me shocked and speechless. Even though she went out in a blaze of glory by living out her dream of traveling the world, I still couldn't contain my grief. Even more aggravating was when Harper said that Mrs. Martinez's family is suing Edenbrook, particularly the MC, for malpractice. And let's not forget that Dr. Banerji has a month left to live, yet another point of anxiety.

Ride or Die Chapter 16:

That was a fun showdown to watch. It was fun to see Mona's impressed reaction to the MC outwitting the Brotherhood, them pointing their guns at one another amidst their confusion, Mona taking the bullet for the MC, and Jason getting arrested by the FBI and MC's dad. If there's one thing that I'm annoyed at is that I have to pay diamonds to take Mona to the hospital while the free option is to leave her behind. I'm not upset that Mona gets arrested. I'm upset that the free option doesn't save the cops more time to ensure Mona's recovery, even if she disregards herself.

The graduation may be short, but I'm glad to see Ingrid being friendly towards the MC, and that they'll be attending Langston together. The ending just feels oddly surreal on the MC's uncertainty of her future, though.

Honestly, I'm disappointed but not surprised that RoD will get a second book. The story's overrated and full of clichés and wasted potential. Not to mention that it has one of the most irrational fanbases in the Choices fandom that partly ruined the story for me. A lot of the vocal fans, especially on Instagram, worship it like it's groundbreaking or revolutionary. At least there are some rational fans out there who acknowledge its faults while still enjoying it.

If there are any ways the second book could improve on the first one, I'd say introduce a morally gray setting and execute it better. There are traces of it, though they aren't well done because the narrative depicts the Brotherhood as just evil when their members should be just as varied as the Mercy Park Crew. Same goes for the MPC, since defining them as black or white doesn't work on them.

The Elementalists Chapter 8:

I thought Atlas was gonna die from the MC's attack, but I'm glad he survived and is put under care. I just wish he'll trust his twin and their friends again.

Honestly, I need to keep an eye on Alma. She's still really fishy and may have an ulterior motive for descending on the earth, especially when the MC receives another letter from Kane. Is the MC a plaything or what?

Since I roleplay my MC as a typically curious Air-Att, I picked the premium option to go to the gardens with Beckett so he could have a leg up for a future class with Professor Kontos. A bit miffed that the gardens of Aurelia are recycled, but here's hoping there will be a leg up.

Helping Griffin with his scholarship is kind of fun, and I'm glad I picked the choices that give me scholarship points. Even more so when I chose to help him rather than sabotage Amy. The second option sounds counterproductive, to be honest.

After touching the treasure chest and a vision of Kane's followers, I have a feeling that I'll encounter this hidden group of pranksters at some point in the story, and there might be an option to join them, especially with the letter from Kane. It may also be part of the morality system like many choices before, which leaves me excited.

Thoughts on upcoming stories:

Honestly, the only stories I'm looking forward to are Bloodbound and the new fantasy story. Platinum could surprise me, but I have low expectations of it. The Royal Heir looks like an attempt to milk as much money from die-hard fans as possible, though a part of me misses playing as the MC. BSC's just meh. RCD's an utter mess since the beginning, and any potential it once had is dead and buried since the end of Book 2. Sunkissed and Bachelorette Party just scream forgettable, so not excited for them. This is gonna be one bleak summer.

#choices stories you play #chapter reviews

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junker-town · 7 years ago

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Our favorite SB Nation stories of the year

I am a lucky man.

As an editor for this website, I get to spend my days reading the work of the internet’s most talented collection of writers and reporters. And with the year winding down, I thought it only fitting that I collect just a small list of some of our favorite stuff we did this year.

I hope these can bring you some joy, open your mind to a new experience or perspective ... or at least give you something that can, however momentarily, provide you an escape from the family this season. Happy holidays from all of us at SB Nation.

Profiles

The future of tennis is here

Whitney McIntosh went to the U.S. Open to watch the legends of the game, and got swept up in the whirlwind that was Denis Shapovalov, the 18-year-old Canadian with the stringy blonde hair and the too-big smile.

How the process failed Jahlil Okafor

Jordan Brenner’s excellent profile showed Okafor at his most vulnerable — stuck in a void, failed by the Process, and spending his days at the movies, a 7-foot-tall Walker Percy character brought to the NBA.

The day Chris Long gave a season’s worth of game checks to charity

Charlotte Wilder spent two days with the Eagles defensive end as he decided to donate all his game checks of the season to charity, and dug in to find out why he had abandoned the Patriots ... and why he still played the game.

A day with Hornets assistant coach — and NBA lifer — Stephen Silas

Paul Flannery’s fascinating profile gives you a window in the life of an NBA assistant coach, its long hours, and the precise work that goes into preparing for every game.

How Mike Gundy came home and built Oklahoma State football

Bill Connelly traveled to Stillwater to get to know the man behind the mullet, and learned a lot about the changing program (and what T. Boone Pickens has to do with the whole thing).

Adventures

Escaping Kakuma: Soccer and the pursuit of meaning inside the world’s third-largest refugee camp

Louis Bien’s journey to Kakuma, a massive refugee camp in Kenya, goes beyond reporting on a soccer league and tells a painfully human story of dreams deferred and the cost of war, but manages to maintain hope throughout. One that stays with you.

How a soccer team embraced Atlanta's culture and captured the city

Atlanta native Harry Lyles Jr. went to an MLS game and came away with a new appreciation for his city, its fandom, and the beautiful game. Plus an unforgettable cameo from a security officer who may be Atlanta’s biggest soccer fan.

The 2017 Astros are a beautiful fit for the city of Houston

I wasn’t expecting Grant Brisbee’s funny, freewheeling report on this year’s Astros teams to leave me choked up, but that it did. A beautiful and perfectly crass essay on a team that a city needed.

Houston Cougars football is trying to fit the city that’s too big for a belt

I’ll be damned if any national sports blog this year wrote better about the city of Houston. Spencer Hall’s story of the University of Houston football team turns into the story of the city itself, its music and food, its grotesque, hulking beauty.

Racing the past in Jonesport, Maine

Charlotte Wilder’s loving story on lobster boat racing in a fading Maine town is serene and heartbreaking, and introduces you to a cast of ragtag, charming characters you will never forget.

The Wizards are finally capturing D.C.'s attention

Mike Prada’s piece on D.C. and the Wizards is a story of a team, two perfect stars in John Wall and Bradley Beal, and a city that’s changing so quickly it at times feels unrecognizable.

Forget San Diego and L.A., these are the StubHub Chargers

I loved this story — Louis Bien went to watch the Chargers play in their tiny, weird soccer stadium and, quite wonderfully, found the beauty in it.

College football at Fenway Park is a crass, silly money grab (and it’s beautiful)

Come for the opening sentence — my favorite of the year — and stick around for Charlotte Wilder finding the beauty in a big ole crash grab of a football game at one of baseball’s temples.

I watched Cubs-Nationals Game 5 in a D.C. bar and saw sports at its most casually upsetting

Alex Kirshner went to a bar in Washington, D.C. for a Nationals game and came away with a beautiful observation of baseball fandom at its most banally miserable.

Can NASCAR save itself when Dale Earnhardt Jr. is gone?

Charlotte Wilder’s deep dive into the world of NASCAR goes beyond a look at a sport at a crossroads. It’s also a story of inequality and hate, of fear, and the unstoppable force of time.

Leaving Tampa with Clemson fans, the happiest family in the country

Richard Johnson perfectly captured a fanbase at its most deliriously happy, the spiritual opposite to the Kirshner piece above. The disbelief, the joy, the alcohol ... it’s all there, rendered clearly in the moment by Johnson.

The Marlins are completely weird, but one day they’ll be a baseball powerhouse

Grant Brisbee may have jinxed the Marlins with this article (to be fair, I don’t think any of us saw the Jeter purchase and firesale coming), but it remains a beautiful, sharp, hilarious portrait of a franchise and a city.

Fiction

17776

Describing Jon Bois’ 17776 is a foolish endeavor. It is a look at the future of football, sure — as its unnerving false opening page tells us — but it is also a grand, Pynchonian exploration of time, meaning, and (im)mortality. As funny as it is haunting, this is a work I look forward to reading for years to come.

Investigations

Why do NFL teams ignore kickers?

I adored this story, a look from Adam Stites at the world of NFL kickers, who are underratedly important, excellent at their jobs, and with one notable exception, expected to coach themselves.

How do NBA players avoid injuries when they jump 3 feet in the air?

Tim Cato has found a niche industry in examining the beautiful minutiae of the game of basketball, and this was one of my favorites. He asks: How do men that are this tall and this strong manage to jump so high in the air ... and not break an ankle every time?

How the NCAA's investigation into Ole Miss trapped a Mississippi State player

Steven Godfrey’s richly reported and finely wrought investigation into the NCAA’s case against Ole Miss — and how it trapped a Mississippi State player in an inescapable, bureaucratic nightmare — is a necessary read for anyone still holding out hope for the ideals of amateurism.

How the Rockets made the wildest scheme in basketball analytics work

Another lovely breakdown from Tim Cato, who traveled to Houston (again, we owned Houston this year!) to find out about the grand experiment and how it was working. This season, his intuition has been proven even more spot on.

The NCAA didn't believe Donte Moncrief's brother could buy a car. So they launched an investigation

Steven Godfrey again shows us the inner workings of the NCAA, as well as its double standards and hypocrisies, with deep reporting and a clear head. The documents he obtained — including a letter from a hotel manager who had been duped by an NCAA investigator — bring the story to life.

A comprehensive timeline of Ezekiel Elliott's domestic violence case

Sarah Hardy worked tirelessly to report and compile a comprehensive timeline of the domestic violence case against Ezekiel Elliott, and in doing so built the most comprehensive, clear look at the case available. This is necessary and strong journalism.

Ezekiel Elliott's suspension and appeal, explained

Working alongside Hardy was Jeanna Thomas, whose own deep reporting and understanding of the league, its rules, and the criminal justice system, resulted in this excellent piece which provides a reader a complete understanding of a complicated and drawn out NFL saga.

A definitive timeline of Colin Kaepernick’s journey from football stardom

Tyler Tynes and Harry Lyles Jr. pored through countless stories to compile this definitive timeline of the Colin Kaepernick saga, illustrating how a solitary man’s protest sparked a national movement.

NBA players explain why they are going vegan and vegetarian

Kristian Winfield took an interesting idea and did the reporting to bring the story to life — identifying a trend in NBA players eating healthier and talking to the players themselves to understand why this is happening, and how it’s changing the league.

LeBron James' incredible taste in wine, explained by 4 experts

A perfect internet story — Tim Cato took a LeBron James Instagram post of his wine collection and got digging, speaking to wine experts and finding out that James’ taste was just as good as his game on the court.

Soccer’s ugly sexism is keeping women from coaching the beautiful game

This sharp investigation from Stephanie Yang combines deep research, statistical analysis, perfect anecdotes and a level head to illustrate a major problem in soccer.

How Pacers fans fell in and out of love with Paul George

Whitney Medworth does brilliant work every week capturing the ephemera of the NBA in her “B-Sides” column, but I also love her work on the Pacers and its fanbase. She perfectly broke down a relationship in this story on Paul George, a story I didn’t know I needed until I read it.

The State of Louisiana v. Cardell Hayes

Tyler Tynes dove fully into the case surrounding the killing of former New Orleans Saints player Will Smith, and showed not only what happened that night, but how a city, region, and history had come together to create a fatal and heartbreaking moment.

I watched in bewilderment while a man tried to return butternut squash because he thought it was cheese

James Dator’s first-person masterpiece on a trip to the grocery store. It seems insane, but this is the story I will probably remember the most from this year. How could one forget it?

Essays

My awkward, long-lost GeoCities page about Michigan football makes me feel 13 forever

Louis Bien’s nostalgic journey to the early world of sports blogging is fun and funny and sweet, an earnest look back at a time that was awkward, yes, but innocent and perfect in its own way.

There and back again: An immigrant's dream of being a soccer player

Zito Madu’s gorgeous essay on returning home to Nigeria, and facing the family that stays there, is so much more than just a postcard from a foreign land. It is a heartbreaking rendering of the idea that “you can’t go home again,” a look at what happens when dreams are forfeited, when you realize that you will never — can never — become the person that, as a child, you thought you might be.

I’m a Falcons fan. Not even 28-3 can break me.

Most people read Steven Godfrey for his richly reported investigations into the seedy underbelly of sport, but he’s at his most pure, and funny, when he’s raving about one of his favorite teams.

When the levee breaks

Spencer Hall’s preseason essay, for Every Day Should Be Saturday, is a look ahead at the coming year in college football, sure. It’s also a raw look at a nation Hall is struggling to recognize, at a time when it seems like finding hope for new beginnings is as impossible a task as there could be.

Bulls in 6

I don’t know if this is an essay, a rant, an argument, a devastating work of a broken man or a masterstroke of genius, but nothing made me laugh harder this year than Ricky O’Donnell’s “Bulls in 6”, a piece that manages to rip down an organization and show an undying love for it all in a few hundred words.

Bill Connelly for College Football Commissioner

Bill Connelly is not just one of our writers. He is also our candidate for College Football Commissioner, a job we desperately need to exist. (If only for Bill to fill it.) In his candidacy, he diagnoses all that’s wrong with the sport, and offers some beautiful solutions.

From Baghdad to Iwo Jima, an anthem for the dead

Matt Ufford’s wrenching essay manages to look at the current national discussion surrounding the protests in the NFL and beyond, and contextualize them from the perspective of someone who has served in the military. Run on Veteran’s Day, this piece changed the way I thought about protest, service, and what we mean when we thank those who serve.

NFL ratings are down because teams have no incentive to be good

Spencer Hall took a (quite frankly stupid) national debate about why people were tuning out of the NFL and examined it in purely economic terms. By taking out the heated rhetoric from both sides, he coolly shows what’s gone wrong with the league, and why no team ever has any incentive to be innovative, or good, in any way.

There is no escape from politics

Tyler Tynes’ comprehensive and bold year-end essay looked at a single weekend in the NFL — where players came together in protest as a response to Donald Trump — and showed how 200 years of history had led to that very moment.

Paul Pierce always knew how much time he had

It’s never easy to say goodbye to a player, but Paul Flannery managed to do so with grace and style in this goodbye to Paul Pierce. Flannery not only tells the story of the player, but of his relationship to the city of Boston, and examine why both were exactly what the other needed.

The NCAA has never had control

Jason Kirk and Mike Rutherford manage to take a look at the NCAA in 2018 and, in a few choice words, tear the whole thing down to its foundation. Kirk’s intro especially is one of my favorite things we ran on the site this year — a vicious, brief deconstruction of the entire amateur sports model.

The NBA isn’t just a diversion anymore

Paul Flannery took stock of the league at last season’s All-Star break and wrote a comprehensive, clear, and beautiful piece on the state of the league he’d been covering for years.

‘Unity’: The word the NFL is using to avoid talking about Colin Kaepernick

Zito Madu’s short essay on the weekend of protest in the NFL managed to identify a troubling trend, write it out beautifully, and define the national conversation for weeks.

What did I miss? Hit me up in the comments and share your favorite writing from SB Nation this year.

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