#I don’t even want to interact with my coworkers because they don’t understand my rules which isn’t their fault of course they don’t

[jankwritten]

Might just go MIA for a week. Cant stand being human right now.

[antimony-medusa]

I read your post on boundaries and the MCYT community recently and have been thinking about as posts that contradict it cross my dash, and I’ve been reflecting on how a lot of what we call “boundaries” are more just like. Community rules? Like take “no sexualization,” for instance. If I’m talking to someone at my workplace, I am not comfortable with them making sexual remarks about me. If someone did, I would tell them so, and not engage in that conversation with them. That’s an actual boundary — something governing how people interact with ME that I am in charge of enforcing. I don’t say “no one is allowed to think anything sexual about me at work ever or tell their friends I’m hot” bc that’s just insane and none of my business, quite frankly. Streamers are well within their rights to say they aren’t comfortable seeing people sexualizing them in their chat or like very publicly on Twitter, but saying no one can sexualize them ever is actually just a community rule, not a personal boundary. Based on how I understand what a boundary is, it can’t be boundary breaking to do something that a creator definitely will not see, because the creator isn’t interacting with the content, and boundaries are about governing comfort in interactions. And saying “I don’t want there to be sexualization or sexual content about me in the main tags bc my main audience is children who browse those tags and they shouldn’t be exposed to that” is a reasonable enough rule to ask your community to follow, but it’s just straight up not a boundary? Like am I misunderstanding what a boundary is? I’m confused bc I’m seeing all this stuff about boundary breaking content and how it’s disgusting even if the creator will never see it and I just don’t get it?

Yeah, I think this is a situation where we're using words to mean something they don't technically mean (see also, "lore"), and then this leads to us also having community arguments about what is acceptable, and it's all totally unnecessary.

Cause the workplace comparison is a good one! If I was telling fellow coworkers how hot they were when they'd said they didn't want to hear that, or walking up to the barista and saying that I wanted them to weigh in on the porn I'd written about them, that would be workplace sexual harrasment and, depending on the severity of the situation, literally a crime I could be charged with. Absolutely inappropriate to do, and I can't express how extremely fair it is that streamers get to say no to that. I am FULLY in support of CCs setting those limits for their spaces and think it's healthy and we all need to respect that.

But "boundaries", as a term, is technically about controlling your own behaviour and people's access to you. You set a boundary and say to your parents "if you bring up grandkids at the christmas meal I will be leaving", or "if you mention [latest discourse] on my blog I will block you". It's about controlling your experiences via your own behaviour and the stuff that you actually see. CC equivalent is saying that any sexualization or shipping in their chats or replies will lead to a block or a ban. That's them controlling their own experience and that's A-ok. Asking a CC to weigh in on what sort of fan work they're comfortable being shown, that's also about them controlling their own experience and is totally fair.

Asking a CC to weigh in on what sort of fan work exists in general— that's not boundaries any more, that's something else entirely. The closest equivilent is companies trying to control what sort of materiel their image or trademarked material show up in, I think? Which is a thing you can do when you're licensing your image, but isn't actually a thing you can do with fan works. Celebrities get to say no they're not going to appear in a commercial advertising an oil company, because they have a moral disagreement with oil companies, but that's because the interaction there is a company offering to pay them money for their image and them declining the money. That's not how fan works operate. The celebrity isn't in a position to decline the money for their "image" being used, because no money is being offered, because the fan isn't making money. It's not a copyright/licensing situation, it's fan works. The celebrity shouldn't be part of the conversation at all, because they should never see that.

And like, there's issues of impersonation or endorsement where it's bad form to do something that looks like it comes from the celebrity, as though they approve of what is being depicted, which is why AI voice lines and deepfakes are being increasingly spoken out against. But man, someone writing Captain Puffy's and PearlescentMoon's cubitos kissing each other on Ao3 and keeping it on Ao3 is not a situation where celebrity endorsement or licensing or impersonation comes in at all. That's a conversation totally within the fandom, without the creators involved. And I really disagree with asking the creator to treat all of fandom like their community, which they should moderate and like, control their image and make kids-and-advertiser-friendly, because that's not how fandom works and also that is unfair to ask of them.

Can one or both of the creators say they don't want to see that? Totally fair. That's a boundary. Can they say that it shouldn't exist in their main tag that kids check? I'm on the side of tagging things to keep them away from minors and people who don't want to see it anyways, rock on. That's a community rule. Can they say that it should never exist ever, anywhere on the internet? That's just not how this works. A) that's not how fan works have ever worked, fan works are for transforming and celebrating existing canon, not for creator approval, and we should stop shoving all of them in creators' faces or asking them to weigh in, B) "boundaries" is entirely the wrong word for what's going on there, like you said. Cause is the mere existence of a thing in a seperate space infriging on the creator's experience and reasonable for them to control? That's what a boundary is, this isn't. C) This isn't even community rules that it makes sense for them to moderate! When you are talking about an entirely different space, cut off from the CCs, doing their own thing to the characters, with age barriers and trigger warnings built in, "boundaries" isn't the right term, but also this doesn't make sense as a space that we're inviting creators into to moderate. This is a seperate space, and stories or art in it aren't hurting people, even if the cc's wouldn't want to see that or even want them in their main community tabs. So yeah when it comes to us enforcing our own community rules, keeping creator boundaries and community rules in mind, the mere existence of a thing does not seem to me like the end of the world. A lot of people have come out and said that all our work needs to be sqeaky clean and able to be shown in the creator's chat, as though the creator is moderating the space and their personal boundaries are involved. And (listing things yet again, this is a post of lists), first of all there's a real focus on sexualization in that case and never on things like family dynamic or kidfic or gore or whump that could also make creators uncomfortable if it was shoved in their faces. (But somehow when anyone brings up those "boundaries" everyone comes to the conclusion that something entirely off on the internet somewhere and never shown to the creators is not going to harm them. Curious.) And second of all, I just disagree that that's a good way to run a fandom community. This is a space for fans, not for the creators, bringing up the "weird stuff" publically to creators is incredibly cruel to people who shouldn't have to see that, AND it's a bad atmosphere for creativity to always want the creators to approve things, fandom is for saying "fuck the man" and doing your own thing. Just tag it to keep it away from people who don't want to see it, and filter the tags for your own experience. Keep everything in its own space and you're good. There's tons of stuff in the fandom that isn't to my taste, ranging from characters that just don't do it for me to tropes that are active turn offs to people writing and undertagging things in ways that is concerning to me. We have got to learn to say "that's not for me" and "that's not for the cc" and put it away (block if you have to) and move on.

[dearweirdme]

So I the JM lukewarm anti is back.

I saw that anon about us not being JM anti and I wanted to add a few points without being mean. Because I think a lot of antis take it up a notch but nonetheless here I go-

First of all have you ever had a coworker that is great, they get along with you and will be great friends with you. But they are better friends with the company you work with. That is JM, he is very much like that person who will be silent, not complicit or anything just silent id another coworker is being treated badly as long as he gets to keep his peace.

I know it sounds weird but he gives me this company man vibe and how his album was released and how it worked and how he has been. It is totally cool and nothing bad but is the company is slightly weird than it does make a difference.

Also he seems to have very limited life outside of bangtan. Make me think he has made bangtan his whole personality or he hides most of his personality. And it is not sinister or anything, sometimes we don’t really want to give away of ourselves but it does come off disingenuous.

I hope JM is okay in military, he seems not very excited by the prospect, no one should have to do mandatory enlistments ☹️

Hi anon!

Aaargh don’t do this to meeeeeee 😫! You know I’m gonna scold you a bit right?

Truth is, I think I understand how you got to this conclusion. But (hehe, ofcourse there’s a but.. ) I think we both look at the underlying reasons a bit differently.

I have on occasion seen Jm react in a way that I felt he was thinking about management/rules/appaerances. I have even seen a few instances where I felt he was almost scared. I think I’ve seen him look with concern at Tae and Jk at some instances. And I do believe that Jm holds back on camera at times. But to me that doesn’t necessarily mean he does that for himself solely. I think he is genuinely concerned for the whole group.

I know many look at my blog and think “she sees everything so naive, and that I think everything is rainbows and sunshine’. But I do not. And that is also part of what I think about Jm. I think Jm struggles a lot with self assurance, self acceptance, and feeling good enough. I see that in his reactions and I see that in how the other members interact with him.

Being part of BTS is no easy thing. I think members have probably gone through real shitty times with real shitty people around them. People who treated them as commodities. We know that before debut Jm had been on the brink of being thrown out often. For someone who is already easy to think lowly of himself.. that is terrible. It is a feeling that will settle in your whole being when you have to deal with it long enough. So to me it is not surprising that at times (and not actually often imo) he holds back or seems to take a safe route… even when these days he’s grown into such a great man and can probably afford to let go.

[artforsimps]

I would like to apologize the the woman I was helping at work today, she asked if I could write on a variety cake and I said i could give her a “happy birthday” plack thing so it would look better than jumbled writing. When she asked if it was okay that she had this I responded “as long as your paying” trying to be funny since sometimes people come up to the bakery asking for free kits and add ons when they aren’t buying cake because they want to

I work in a bakery and I decorate cakes. A lot of people have me write on cakes and sometimes writing can’t fit or there’s a texture on the cake that would make writing look bad or lumpy so we have happy birthday plaques that you can put on top. These are like the only free item you can get on non store brand stuff neside the labor and icing of writing in a cake, because the cost is roughly included in the product or something. we buy these mostly for when decorators aren’t available to write on cakes (you know like nights so people can still have a cute cake or we’re packed with orders and can’t handle distractions or write on cakes fast enough)

A customer approaches me, the bakeries open and she wants a cake for same day pick up, I can’t do that since it’s half way through the day, I have orders I still have to make and there’s no time for me to bend the rules and squeeze another order in and wait for more cake to thaw in order for me to decorate and have it ready for her. Mind you it’s Sunday (We also have a minimum 24 hours notice on cake orders and the usual mindset of whomevers asking to immediately have a custom cake for pick up is expecting you to just drop everything so they can pick it up immediately or they need the cake in the next two hours or less so they can make it to the party on time. Either way, it’s at the point of there being nothing I can do to help THAT much. Quick rant, you have a whole year to prepare for someone’s birthday and you can’t just order it a week before? not even the day before? There’s a point at which you’re the problem. I can deal with people with long lists of details, I can draw little mice or roller blades on cakes but I cannot stand impatient people. What I also know is that shit happens. Your friend that makes your cakes is gonna get sick sometimes, you don’t have time to make your specialty cake because you had to pick up a shift to pay for the party or the bakery you go to lost your order. hell, my own coworkers put orders in the wrong spot or give away both copies instead of keep one for us to reference. So I try to just do what I can and I know that after 11 am there’s nothing I can do to go the extra mile because I’m the only one in this bakery and my manager calls me the second that I ever need to get anything from my freezer even though she can see me walk all the way there and back but that’s a rant for another time.). She takes the news great, and is understanding 10/10. I suggest the variety cake because she wanted red velvet (a flavor we don’t carry and wouldn’t have been able to make even if she could have ordered it in time) and this way she gets the cake she wants the same day and still has writing on it so it’ll feel special . She only wants happy birthday on top no names, Great. I suggest the happy birthday plaque “would you like a birthday sign on top so it’s not uneven?” She asked how much it’ll cost, a very common question but writing and placks cost nothing. So since this is one of the few good interactions with customers I get in a day I decide to crack a joke. “Hey as long as you’re paying” you know cause in my mind I’m thinking it’s “free” because they buy the cake. Like how 1/4 sheet cakes are more expensive when you order them because the kits included in the pricing whether you get a cake with a kit, filling or nothing in it. And now I feel worse the more I think about it cause I have the context of

1.haha people ask for free stuff and if we handed out eveything we’d be fired

2.haha of course your paying for it you wouldn’t go up to the counter, ask for writing and leave it in the toy isle just to waste both our time

3. I’m not making the assumption you’re stealing or trying to imply that, its absurd that someone would think you’re going to steal such a noticeable item especially when you’re with your impressionable and innocent kids.

So to the woman who asked me to write on your birthday cake, I’m sorry for accidentally sounding racist and my stream of excuses. I genuinely didn’t mean to come off that way by speaking with context and not explaining the joke or adding “hey at least you’re offering people always ask for free stuff” or something similar.

[septemberrie]

A Definitive Rating of Every Saul Silva Scene in Season 1

Day 1 of Saul Week is “Favorite Season 1 Scene.” Well, when I tried to narrow it down I found I had too many favorites. So I’m making it everyone else’s problem and rating all Saul Silva scenes from S1 out of ten.

Please grab a glass of wine and join me on a journey through this AMAZING bit of cinema.

1. Aggro-father figure

Exposition: the scene

Best bit: “Hi I’m Saul Silva when I was ten years old I MURDERED MY FATHER what’s your tragic backstory?”

However it’s super cringe sorry and WHAT was that fight scene

Rating: 3/10 

At least we got this frame

2. Silrah: “Whoa whoa whoa what do we have here?”

Ummm if these are coworkers than I have questions about the lack of sexual tension I have with my work team

Maybe it’s because my life doesn’t have a blue filter :(

Take a drink each time Silrah have a lingering glance full of suppressed longing

Rating: 7/10

3.  Exposition: Part 2

I kIlLeD tHiRtEeN!

Again what is with this witty repartee with your COWORKER, I have qs

Rating: 7/10

Bonus: I WILL SAVE U

4. Hold On, I’m Shifting Into Dad Mode

You’re Understand When You’re Older

This is one of the few times Saul almost smiles so I’mma take a drink.

Rating: 5/10

5. tHiS iS a ScHoOl!!!!1

Special callout for the heaving tiddies

At least he sorta knows what’s up

Rating: 4/10

6. I should have a brought a fairy to sense this shit but I didn’t so I’m going to stand outside in the rain

Rating: 1/10 Saul you doofus

7. I Fucked Up But I Still Have A Sword

Okay the introduction of Burned One Infection?? Sign me tf up

The character development of being fucked up beyond walking but still wanting to hold a sword

Rating: 8/10

8. The Greenhouse Scene

10/10 WHUMP END OF STORY

THE PAIN THE FALLING DOWN THE GASPING BREATH

LOOK AT IT

Now I really fucking need a drink.

9. oUCHIE

The hallmark of good whump is showing the aftermath and boy did Fate deliver.

Rating: 8/10

10. poor little meow meows

HEARTBREAKING scene, I can’t even joke bc I love this “I’m going to die and here’s all the ways I love you without saying I love you” trope

The tiddy shirt

Sobbing into my wine glass

Rating: 10/10

Listen RJC is a tall guy but Danny? Giraffe man. Height difference (yes Saul is sort of slumping here but still)

11. SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS

Top Tier Golden Trio shit

“Imagine they think you didn’t start it” yep that was game over for me

Rating: 10/10

12. Poor Little Meow Meow 2

I still don’t know why Saul texted Sky unless it was to ask him to do the deed and then he chickened out at the last second when Sky fought back instead of giving up.

Rating: 4/10 for Saul, 10/10 for Sky (picking his morals over his orders, good bean)

13. THE HUG

“YOU ARE AN IDIOT (affectionate)”

”I’m not a hugger but if it’s my son who saved my life a bitch might just fall into the most tender embrace known to fairykind.”

Pour me another I’m not done

Rating: 11/10

14. There Are Only Three of Us But Goddammit We Run A School

No Golden Trio interaction falls beneath 7/10 sorry I don’t make the rules

“BEN stop using words longer than 3 syllables, I’m only a few steps up from a himbo”

Rating: 7/10

15. I Go Looking For Problems And If I Do Not See Them I Create Them

I was planning to limit this to scenes where Saul has a speaking line but come on, the man used a bow and arrow to pop the tire of the Queen of Solaria’s jeep.

Rating: 11/10 and take a drink.

16. Dad Mode Part 2

I hate this scene and it makes no sense because orders is what got Saul almost killed, but it gets one point because look how hot he is.

Rating: 1/10

17. The Cage Match

Don’t lie, this cage inspired half the angst fics in the Silrah tag 😏

Imagine the look on Saul’s face when he realizes he was trying to protect the adoptive child of the man who tried to kill him…

Rating: 6/10

18. Dad Mode Part 3

Five points for the look, negative six for the lighting

Rating: 4/10

19. Flashback Prime:

FINALLY getting back into the good stuff. 

RJC could have sexual tension with a rock. The slight jealousy in his tone? The edge of bitterness? Fuck me up.

Rating: 9/10

20. Sitting Next To Your Maybe Lover 101

Again it’s only a few lines but this show has so little worldbuilding I DIG IT please elaborate more on what the fuck this school system is

You also have to take a drink when Saul is close enough to Farah to make it weird

Rating: 7/10

21. With Pecs Like These Who Needs Enemies

Underrated whump scene in this show. Love when Saul grits his teeth and also shows off his tiddies in that sweater

A crumb of Andreas here 😍 feed me the angst

Rating: 7/10

22. Only Scene With Riven

I have a lot of feelings about Riven essentially saying “Your orders or your morals common sense” here

Saul back into bitch mode

Rating 3/10 you would’ve regretted this more, but luckily the Burned Ones beat you to it

23. Son, I Have a Confession To Make, And It’s That Everything I Told You Was A Lie

The moment this show began going off the rails in the BEST WAY

Are you KIDDING ME

Rating: 9.5/10

24. Flashback 2: Electric Boogaloo

He killed his best friend?? because his best friend tried to kill him???

The 300k lovers to enemies fic that flashed in front of my eyes in this 20 second scene

DEAD

Upon further review this fight is kind of pathetic. Better than the one with Sky in e1 but...?? that’s the best Warrior Andreas could do? hard to cover a shitty fight scene with quick cuts (at least if you rewatch it the number of times I do)

Rating: 10/10 (would have been 11/10 but fight scene)

25. Ladies? I Have GOT to ask. What is going on

The scene in which Sky COULD have saved Saul from a Burned One if they had kept that deleted scene but no the world hates me

Rating: -47/10 fuck you Brian Young this almost empty bottle of Merlot has your name on it

26. Oh Shit So The Genocide Was Okay

Aight so genocide is okay if it’s blood witches... who are these again? What do they do that’s so bad?

Regardless, the way that RJC shows guilt and anguish here?? please keep torturing this character. It’s so beautiful.

Rating: 6/10 --subtracted for the vague excuses but all earned back from RJC’s face

27. Something Something Chickens Are Coming Home to Roost

WHERE is the missing scene here where Sky takes Saul to task for lying to him for 16 years. I need the filial angst

Damn they look good in this light tho

WHEN ANDREAS SHOWED UP I SCREAMED

Rating: 9/10

Bonus Shot because Saul in Handcuffs 😌😌😌

And FIN. 

I hope you’ve had as much wine as me at this point and also as much Saul Silva. Here’s where I would draw a fascinating conclusion about my actual favorite Saul scene but I simply won’t; hope that helps.

Please hit up my askbox for all disagreements and corroborations. 

Cheers, Skye

[the-ferocious-kittyrose]

My complicated opinion on Keith Kogane

Keith Kogane is definitely one of the more popular characters in the VLD fandom. People love brooding emo bad boys.

My feelings on Keith are... complicated. I definitely don’t hate him. I have a lot of problems with the character but I don’t think I could ever bring myself to actually hate him. Mainly because I kinda relate to him. We both have problems controlling our emotions, interacting with people, and making friends.

And we both have trouble believing there are people who truly have our best interests at heart and won’t abandon us because we’re a burden.

What I do hate is the way his character was written and the way it negatively impacted the characters around him.

There are definitely a lot of factors that contributed to VLD ending up the way it did. But to me, Keith and the writers insistence on pushing him to the forefront was the poison that killed the show.

Ok, before we get into this whole rant I feel like I should talk about the things I do like about Keith.

I like the premise of Keith’s character. He’s half Galra and never really fit in on Earth. He didn’t act like the other “normal” kids so kids made fun of him and adults didn’t want to deal with him. So in order to protect himself from the pain of rejection he would put up a tough angry facade and push people away and reject them before they could reject him.

This is something that really resonates with me personally having grown up neurodivergent. It’s awful growing up in a world that isn’t made for people like you and not knowing how to interact with or connect with your peers. Especially when you don’t know why you’re like that.

You learn to avoid social interaction because it always ends up negative. You put up walls because you don’t feel like anybody understands you or what you’re going through.

I know the writers probably didn’t intend to code Keith as neurodivergent. They just wanted Keith to be a hothead with abandonment issues, but nonetheless, this interpretation means a lot to me.

I also really like his relationship with Shiro. Keith is so used to being left behind and abandoned that when he meets someone like Shiro who’s patient and genuinely cares it’s new and strange. He’s so ready for Shiro to abandon him, even telling Shiro to send him back to the home, but Shiro refuses to leave him and tells Keith ethat he’s never going to give up on him.

It’s also interesting to see how their relationship develops over time. It’s clear Keith trusts Shiro, but you can tell that that fear of abandonment is still there deep down. In S2, Keith tells Shiro that he’s like a brother to him, and then in season 6, he takes the extra step and tells Shiro that he IS his brother and that he loves him. And for someone like Keith, telling their friend they love them is a big scary thing.

And also it’s just great to see a platonic “I love you,” especially between two guys. Don’t be afraid to tell your bros you love them!!!

Now let’s talk about the stuff I didn’t like.

Keith doesn’t have much going for him in terms of personality. He’s just sorta brooding and serious all the time. He does make jokes occasionally but it’s rare. The writers were more focused on making him cool and badass rather than fun.

I always loved the idea of Keith as a cocky carefree asshole who doesn’t give a shit about rules/laws and is kinda rude/aggressive but has a heart of gold deep down and would do anything for the people he cares about. (Just like a cat.)

I would also make him more alien esc. In terms of design I like the idea of Keith having red eyes with narrow pupils and fangs. And also just small things like the way he walks and holds himself. He growls and bears his teeth when he’s angry, his hair puffs up when scared, he’s fast and agile, disappearing and reappearing without making much noise, small things.

Then you have his race and sexuality. I have no doubt in my mind that Keith was intended to be a straight white dude. A lot of people see him as gay and Asian but there’s no evidence for this in canon. Acxa was originally intended to be his love interest and his race was never mentioned in canon. His name isn’t even Kogane in canon. (And the race of the voice actor doesn’t equal the race of the character. If that was the case Shiro, Hunk, and Lance would be white.)

They should’ve totally made Keith Japanese like he was in the original. It would’ve been so easy! Just canonize Kogane as his last name and have the book say he’s half Japanese half Galra. They could’ve also done what they did with Shiro and keep his og GoLion name. Just have him be Akira Kogane. Definitely cooler than “Keith.”

And as for his sexuality, I definitely think they should’ve had Keith be gay. But well get to that Later...

I also don’t like how they handled the whole Krolia thing. Not only was it crazy rushed, but it completely goes against the shows theme of found family.

Keith’s arc should’ve been about overcoming his abandonment issues and learning to accept the paladins as family. But instead they just get rid of the abandonment issues by just giving him his mom back.

I know a lot of people love Krolia but I don’t feel like she should’ve been introduced in anything other than flashbacks. Because Keith’s mom isn’t really that important. The show is about found family and friendship, not blood relation.

You can definitely have Keith learn about his mom and his family, but I feel like giving him his mom back was too much.

Personally, I always headcanoned that Kolivan was Keith’s grandfather or just a close friend of Krolia��s, and when Keith showed up at the Blade’s base Kolivan recognized the blade as his Krolia’s. Keith could learn about his mom through Kolivan telling him about her, how she was a great person and warrior who died fighting to make the universe a safer place for her son.

Another thing I didn’t like was the whole Keith leaving the team for the Blades thing. I know why he did it, he felt like the team was gonna reject him, he wanted to be more useful, and wanted to learn about his family, but I feel like you could’ve touched on all that without having him abandon his team.

One of the biggest problems with the show is that they did a bad job at establishing the paladins as friends, they feel like coworkers more than anything, and I feel like Keith being absent for two seasons contributed to that.

And his absence is hardly addressed. The team forms Voltron perfectly without him and no one ever says they miss him. Keith doesn’t even seem like he missed them after being gone for two years.

And a lot of the weight was taken out of that Keith v Kuron fight by the fact that Keith and Kuron hardly interacted.

That whole thing amounted to four things, Keith meeting Krolia (which I don’t think should’ve happened), them finding the colony (which was a dumb plot I don’t think should’ve happened), Keith aging up two years (which was weird and unnecessary), and Keith meeting Kosmo (which is... complicated).

I don’t think this plot was necessary. Keith should’ve stayed with his team.

Then you have his relationship with Lance. I know people are very sensitive about this topic. People have very strong opinions about whether or not Keith and Lance were intended to be romantically coded.

Personally, I do like Klance but I don’t believe they were romantically coded. I think if you want them to get together some things would have to go differently.

For example, the bonding moment. In canon, Lance tells Keith, “we make a good team.” I don’t see this as referring to him and Keith. I think he was talking about the whole team. If you want it to be about the two of them, I feel like it should be Lance telling Keith something like, “ya know, you’re not so bad after all,” and then Keith smiles and responds, “you’re not so bad yourself.”

Another example could be the scene where Lance comes to Keith with his insecurities. (Whether it’s as a leader or a friend.) This scene was weird in canon, Lance comes to Keith for advice and Keith basically tells him to just stop thinking about it.

I would prefer if Lance brought up to Keith how he doesn’t feel like he’s good enough or that he doesn’t have, “a thing,” and Keith is completely dumbfounded like, “what are you even talking about?” He goes on about all the good shit about Lance. Talks about how Blue chose him, how he’s a great shot, how he’s good at dealing with people, meanwhile Lance is standing there in shock as Keith says all these nice things about him.

Over all you would just have to develop their relationship more. More meaningful interactions. And if you want the relationship to be romantic you would have to establish that early on. Establish that one or both has romantic feelings for the other in like S1/S2 because if you wait too long it’s gonna feel forced/out of no where.

And then... you have the Black Paladin arc... I’m gonna be real with y’all, this is the arc that killed the show for me, for a few reasons.

One, even ignoring the whole quintessence bond thing, it makes no sense for Keith to be the bp. He doesn’t fit the role. I adore Shiro but choosing Keith as his successor was a dumb move. I get that he saw potential in Keith but they’re are fighting a war, there’s no room for favoritism.

Shiro should’ve chosen Allura as his successor. Not only does she have actual leadership experience, but you would only have one paladin in a new Lion instead of three.

If a lifeguard breaks his leg and can’t work, he should choose an experienced swimmers to take his place, not his little bro that’s still in water wings in the hopes that it’ll teach him to swim.

Two, Keith being the bp doesn’t help his arc. Keith’s arc is about overcoming his abandonment issues and learning to be a team player, he doesn’t need to be the leader for that.

VLD should’ve been about the paladins growing into the best versions of themselves they could be. Their development shown by unlocking new abilities in their respective lions, new forms for their bayards, and new Voltron bayard power ups. They shouldn’t have to change lions and themselves.

Keith and Red have a strong bond and work great together. Keith and Red are both temperamental, unpredictable, and have issues with trust. Keith having to fight to get Red to trust and open up to him mirrors how others have to fight to earn Keith’s trust and get him to let down his walls.

It would’ve been interesting to see them grow together. Keith has no emotional connection with Black.

We never even get to see them bond. Keith just suddenly becomes the “perfect” bp/leader because he got over his mommy issues

Three, it’s a MASSIVE disservice to Shiro’s character. Shiro put all the work in earning his position as the bp, he literally fits fought Zarkon on the astral plane to earn her trust, yet Keith is the true bp? What?

It sucks. Sendak told Shiro that a monster like him could never be a paladin and the writers went and proved him right. Hell Shiro didn’t even get to kill Sendak, Keith got that too.

And don’t tell me, “but he got the Atlas!” REALLY!? A massive Deus ex machina that required absolutely no effort from him to acquire!? Filled with a bunch of rando background characters no one gives a shit about!? You’re totally right, that 100% makes up for it.

I could go on and on about how the treatment of Shiro in this show (and fandom) is blatantly ableist but that’s a rant for another time.

It sucks. I want to like Keith! He had the potential to be an amazing character but the writers just kept on trying to turn him into something he wasn’t and it ruined him for me.

They kept trying to turn Keith into the main character and ignored that ALL the paladins are the main characters. It’s an ensemble cast! You don’t have to have everything come back to one guy.

[avenging-criminal-bones]

After All This Time || Chapter One

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Word Count: 1206

Summary: You being a new recruit pissed SSA Aaron Hotchner off. You being smart enough to give Spencer a run for his money pissed him off even more. Really, he just despised your presence. Hated your every move…

Until one day, he didn’t.

CHAPTER WARNINGS: angst, Hotch yells (but we like that here)

A/N: Stuff starts to get set up in this chapter :)

Tag List: @uwu-sebastianstan @piggyinthesea @yoshigguk @scootankle @thatisthemagic @errorcosplay67

* * * * *

Chapter One

You walk through the bullpen, with your hair in a tight ponytail on top of your head. The black flats you wore sliding across the carpet with ease as you walk in with confidence.

There's a whistle to your left and you stop, brows furrowing as you walk towards the- admittedly attractive man- and cross your arms.

"Can I help you?" You speak with an air of authority over the man and wait for his response. The playfulness in his eyes is immediately hardened as he stands and towers over you by a good three inches.

"Agent Derek Morgan of the Behavioral Analysis Unit. Are you Y/N L/N?" He looks amused as you shrink down slightly, losing some of that confidence from just a second earlier.

"Um, yes sir. I'm sorry about that. The men at the LA branch were-"

"It's alright, babygirl. You'll just have to get used to me." He doesn't say it in a suggestive manner, just states it as a fact. You can tell that he has a flirty attitude, but the gleam in his eyes just shows that he is like that with everyone. Especially when a very eccentric, blonde woman walks into the room and he whistles again speaking about her being his 'Baby Mama'.

"Just a heads up, we try not to profile each other here. It's like an unspoken rule, so to speak." You turn to where the voice came from and see a very kind, motherly looking woman holding her hand out to introduce herself. "My name is Jennifer Jareau, but the team calls me JJ."

"Y/N L/N. It's nice to meet you," you pause for a moment, watching Derek's interaction on the other side of the room, "Is he always like that?"

A black haired woman answers then, "Yes. Every day, with everybody. You get used to it." She tips her head to you, "Emily Prentiss."

"Agent L/N. My office, please. Now."

You spin at hearing your name and look up to see who you can only assume is Aaron Hotchner. He doesn't wait to send you a smile or a wave, instead opting to spin on his heel and walk into the room that you guess is his office.

Turning back to the two girls who had made you feel welcome, you nodded slightly and said, "It was nice meeting you, but I guess that's my cue."

The women nod, but you don't see them because you're already walking into the head SSA's office.

You knock gently on the door before walking, despite him being the one who asked you to see him.

"Agent Hotchner. It's nice to meet you, I'm-"

"Sit down, L/N."

You obey, and sit a bit straighter than you had been to meet the others. The calming, welcoming nature of the girls was not shared by Hotchner.

Scanning the room, you notice a few things. You aren't aware that you hadn't heeded JJ's advice, and you look for details that will tell you who your new boss really is.

The first thing that you see is the absence of a wedding ring. It draws your attention that a man of his age and position of power isn't married. Subconsciously narrowing your eyes, you see that there is a fading tan line on the same finger.

So he was married.

Tilting your head to the side, you see two drawing that are seemingly by a child. By the looks of it and the minimal errors with staying in the lines, you decide it is a child near the age of six. Probably the same boy in those pictures on his shelf.

His son and his wife? His ex-wife. You correct yourself as your gaze flies back to his bare ring finger.

He doesn't look up from the papers on his desk until you've been quietly observing him for about two minutes.

"Something you'll do well to learn, L/N," his voice, stern and final, pulls you out of your observations, "Is that we don't profile each other here. So I suggest that you stop trying to pick me apart and instead listen very carefully to what I'm about to tell you."

Shocked by the aggressive tone, you can only nod your head.

“Those men and women that you met on your way in? I trust them with my life. You on the other hand? I wouldn’t trust you to make me a coffee if you had the instructions right in front of you. Do you understand me?”

“Yes. I-”

“Yes, what?” He interrupts, glaring down at you from his place behind his desk.

You want to roll your eyes, but as it seems that you already started in his bad side you don’t.

“Yes, sir. I understand. I c an only hope that my performance with whatever case we come across next, that I can change that opinion.” Keeping your pin straight back, you add a pleasant smile to your demeanor in hopes to look less scared.

He looks back down as his paperwork and says, “You are dismissed, L/N.”

Nodding slightly to yourself you stand and try to regain your dignity before stepping out of his office. You take notice that the blinds had been wide open and the crack under the door suggests that anyone in the bullpen would have been able to tell what was said.

Once you get back to the group of your coworkers, you are introduced to Spencer: a young man who seems just as smart as you were told, and Rossi: an older Italian man with a little too much knowledge of cooking.

“JJ, he didn’t tell me where my desk is. Is it the empty one closer to the entrance?” You gesture slightly with your bag.

Slowly she nods and you brush past her with a soft ‘thank you’.

You were warned by Strauss that you would need to be prepared to leave to anywhere in the country at anytime. She mentioned that most of the team has a “go-bag” that they bring with clothing and spare toiletries. So you had brought yours in with you to stash in your desk.

Hoping that no one would say anything to you about what Hotchner had said, you set to work trying to make your desk more your own.

Shuffling through the drawers, you find an old desk tag and pull it out. Derek walks over to you; he had been watching you the whole time.

“Who is ‘Elle Greenaway’? Is she the previous agent that I’m filling in for?” You ask with curiosity.

“Um. Yes. She was. She was shot and killed three months ago.” His voice was solemn and instantly you regretted asking.

“Derek, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“I know. It’s okay. That’s probably why Hotch was acting so uptight about you being here in his office.” He patted you on the shoulder and wandered over to the coffee machine that no doubt made shitty coffee.

Something in your gut told you that was not why, but you appreciated the sentiment so you didn’t say anything as he left.

Letting out a long breath that you didn’t even know you were holding, you steel yourself and get to signing on the preliminary paperwork.

[waragainstyourfaith]

Thank you to @broughtmeyourlove for listening to the beginnings of this (aka when I first got my thoughts down) and thank you to me for saying all this in the shower but most importantly thank you @hannibalhadalittlelamb whose art got me to finally think deeper about the nature of Hannibal’s trial. Let’s begin.

Hannibal’s trial isn’t something I usually see discussed within the fandom space. And why would it be? We know the final verdict and we know that besides that everything works out in the end anyway. It’s an afterthought. So who would care? That’s like reading the first few chapters of a book to skip to the final one. Characters change and so does the story as a whole.

On @/hannibalhadalittlelamb’s post (here), their tags read that their depiction of Hannibal is leaning into OOC (out of character) territory. I disagree.

During Hannibal’s trial, we have to think about how it would have gone down. Actually. There was no possible way for Will to miss or be exempt from this trial. His coworkers and boss knew his strong relation to Hannibal and how their professional relationship had definitely, at some point or another, turned personal. The mutual attempts of murder had not been lost on anyone, but, of course, that made Will all the more personal a witness.

However, Will wants nothing to do with Hannibal.

I understand there is a popular theory going around that Will and Hannibal were in a sort of understanding during the trial, but, honestly? We see Will desperately wanting to remain kept away from Hannibal, to live a normal life with a wife and son. Hannibal throws a wrench into this whole ordeal and this trial, after what conspired between them overseas, leaves Will in the headspace and with the opportunity to quite literally never see Hannibal again in his life.

And after everything and with what Will thinks he wants, how could he deny that? Helping Hannibal rule into the insanity plea was not an act of mercy but an act of protection. Will more than anyone knows Hannibal should be kept under 24/7 surveillance and away from every person he could ever harm. Being ruled out of given the death penalty was the underlying bonus his conscience wouldn’t let him think too deeply about.

In court, you are sworn in on the bible, on God, to tell “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth [...] So help you God.”. Both Will and Hannibal were undoubtedly sworn in, but considering the argument Hannibal’s legal team was using, would you trust a man under the insanity plea or his victim who is an FBI agent more? Right.

So, Will is given free rein in this courtroom to spin the story of him and Hannibal whichever way he pleases. Seeing what I mentioned before, Will is going to remove himself as far away from Hannibal as he can while still being able to confidentially and securely reveal everything without getting his hands dirty nor embarrassing himself. Hannibal does not get this luxury.

Hannibal is a man of his privacy. As many analyses have written and as many real psychologists have said while dissecting the headspace of Hannibal, his need to eat people is his need to control. The trauma Hannibal went through with Mischa, whether you know the depth of it or just the surface, is enough context to explain what happens next. Hannibal eats them. Attitude is Hannibal’s one basis of morals and consensus. “One should always eat the rude”.

To determine their fate and to consume them is him “playing God”, but at its core, it is Hannibal needing to be in control. We see the severity of his true, underlying, desperation come to light at a first glimpse with the gruesome death of Beverly Katz. Undoubtedly, this is one of his most haunting scenes and we see the insides(dissection) of Beverly as she had attempted to find in Hannibal by going through his home. By sneaking a glance under the person suit. His inner monster comes out in a rage during this murder. He is private and anything that anyone knows about Hannibal is what he has allowed them to live to be able to say so. Look at Will’s position once more.

What no one seems to realize is that, during this trial, Hannibal is not in control. Will is the spinster of their life, a life Hannibal used his truest of colors to paint, and ultimately watched it becomes torn to shreds in front of him. Remember, Will is sworn in during this trial. This does not necessarily mean he is telling the truth, but it means everyone thinks he is. It’s a play of tragedy and Hannibal and Will are the two lead star-crossed lovers.

The entirely of Hannibal and the world he has handed to Will on a sparkling platter is being dissected and shown to everyone. The story of the Chesapeake Ripper was undoubtedly massive. A criminal having not been caught for years that everyone seemed to know nothing about revealed to be one of the closest, inside links with the FBI themselves? Tale of the decade.

The spotlight is on Hannibal, but he is being puppeteered by Will without a say in it for himself.

Hannibal cracks as he’s poked and prodded and bare for the media to do as they like and Will sits by and says what he likes. Here is where we would see a sliver of what lays beneath their person suits. Hannibal’s impulsivity and monstrousness under his charming exterior and Will’s manipulative, isolatedness under his empathetic cloak.

We look at Hannibal. He would be torn to shreds from this. The porcelain pot that contains his beast has broken and shattered by the swatting hand of Will, someone he trusted and loved. The intruding eyes of the jury stay on him as he is diagnosed as insane while he considers himself to be in the best possible headspace he ever could be. Everything he told Will and what he considered truth from Will’s mouth was dismissed and disputed under oath.

Hannibal is embarrassed. People call him insane and lock him away at dig through his mind and his things without his permission with protruding needles and telescopes. Hannibal has to play nice to simply be allowed a working toilet and the books that he has collected himself. Anything and everything he writes and draws that he wants to send out is dissected and analyzed. He has no privacy. He is not allowed a toe out of line.

Looking back at Hannibal from season one, episode seven is a good one to compare from, and when we see him first after year years in isolation, we see plain as day these are not the same men. In season one, Hannibal is handsome and cunning enough so that he wiggles his way into the deepest, most protected parts of the FBI as one of the highest-ranked killers on their watch list. He is polite enough to even invite them to dinner and feed them the organs of his victims.

He’s slick and intelligent and Hannibal is the idea of a lifetime.

And then we come to the second half of season three.

Hannibal, at this point, has been isolated for three years and has been under painful scrutiny even longer. During this time, he’s had all the space he could get to rebuild the person suit, but the pieces won’t fit. It’s jaggedly put together and no matter how long he spends trying to perfect its construction to what it used to be, it isn’t what it used to be. Will had done that to him. Will had effectively broken Hannibal.

I see often the running gag that season three is immensely funnier and leaning much more into the comedy aspect of Hannibal during his interactions with Will and Alana and even jack to an extent. But this is not him being funny; this is Hannibal pushing limits.

Looking back to paragraph eleven [“To determine their fate and consume them…”] we come back to Hannibal’s need to control. Remember, in this space, Hannibal is shoved into line. He’s snappy and cynical here. This is Hannibal exercising his limits and testing patience. His acting out and making snide comments is nothing he can be punished for, but it clearly agitates them. Hannibal teeters just enough on the edge of annoyance so that his jabs still hit, but his privileges still remain.

This is his monster leaking through the cracks. Hannibal is desperate. He is grasping for a hold over these people he had looked down upon from his throne in the sky as God for so long. He is rude. This is both his shield and deception. It leaves Hannibal with the idea that he is effectively feeding them out of his hand, that he has them right where he wants them. When Hannibal does this, it is his last line of defense to keep himself from blowing up. Ruining it all.

Season three is not season one. He is gasping and hurt and that is what makes the Dolarhyde kill all the more powerful. The whiplash and bounce back with his and Will’s relationship is powerful and dangerous.

Will watching Hannibal with his dead stare, person suit thrown off the moment he decided to go with Hannibal into that car, as he is shot is groundbreaking. Hannibal can see Will. they have effectively switched positions. As though he were God, Will looks down on Hannibal’s suffering. When Will decides to fight Dolarhyde in retaliation,  this is the point it all cuts lose.

At that moment, Will has freed the beast. Hannibal has finally someone to take the reins of his monster whom he trusts. Because Hannibal never blamed Will, even during that time in his isolation, he was waiting. Waiting for Will because despite the betrayal and despite the hurt he loved him. All that time he loved him.

The Dolarhyde kill is the messiest one of the show, which makes it all the more powerful. Hannibal has--I don’t want to say “lost composure”--but he definitely has dropped the act of his togetherness. In this, Hannibal is free. So long he has spent trying to hold himself together, to fool those around him and take care of everyone and himself. 

It’s a common misconception that a person in a position of power, such as a CEO, would want to be in this position all of the time. In fact, it’s been shown that the human mind needs a healthy balance. A person who is pushed around on a day-to-day basis and has no control over their life would most likely enjoy having control over a person and vice versa.

God must be tired. Hannibal was. Wearing his person suit for years and years, with only a dangerous outlet to relieve the built-up tension of his monster. To place the control into Will’s hands is inevitable and the best relief for both of them. Hannibal in killing and Will in power.

In that final scene, Hannibal has surrendered control to Will while barring the entirety of what lay within and Will has a high enough apathy for this to no longer have any hold over him. They have switched their roles. Now, Will is the one pulling the strings and Hannibal is the one letting himself be maneuvered.

This trial was the turn of the tables. It was the biggest part of their character and the biggest foreshadowing for the finale.

In Florence, Hannibal has the hold over Will. In season two, Will has the hold over Hannibal. In season one, Hannibal has the hold over Will. This trial that has been left out was the missing piece to even their stance and to level their playing field, making it easiest for the two to blur.

The trial is effectively and consequently one of if not the most important scene that was missing from the show.

[stardusttkachuk]

Santa’s Workshop

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: fluff, swearing,

Summary: JJ picks up a holiday job, working as one of Santa’s elves. He doesn’t expect to meet another elf there, but isn’t disappointed in who he’ll be working with all season.

A/N: This is day 1 of starduststarkey’s 12 days of Christmas. Find other fics in my masterlist

Wanna be tagged? click here!

“You look fucking ridiculous,” John B says as JJ stands in front of the broken full length mirror that JB picked up from a junkyard.

“At least I have a job, asshat.” He fixes his hat on his head, grimacing at the way the tights hug his body. He’s uncomfortable in every place imaginable and is already dreading the 5 hour shift.

“Maybe if you’re a good elf, Santa will bring you a girlfriend this year!” Pope teases.

“You better shut the fuck up before this elf beats you to a pulp,” JJ threatens, fists raised.

Pope laughs. “I don’t think elves are supposed to be getting in fist fights.”

JJ huffs and rolls his eyes. Pope is right. He can’t show up to this job covered in bruises, that would scare the kids even more than he probably already will.

“Will you please drive me?” He asks John B. 

“Maybe you should ask Santa for a car,” John B says, grabbing the keys to the Twinkie.

“Why do you think I even took this job in the first place? Please. I don’t want to be seen in public like this.”

You set your bag in the provided cubby, checking your phone one last time before your scheduled session. When you had signed up to be one of Santa’s elves at the local mall, you were ecstatic. You and your best friend had been doing this for the last two years. But this year, your best friend ditched you for the hot chocolate stand. Really she ditched you for the cute girl who worked at the hot chocolate stand, and now you were stuck working with some kid named JJ Maybank. You crossed your fingers in hopes that he wasn’t some loser like the guy they hired last season.

“Santa arrives in 10 minutes! You better be out there in 5!” Natasha, the showrunner of Santa’s Workshop yells through the improvised locker and changing room. “Where’s your other elf?”

You shrug. “I don’t know. He hasn’t shown up yet.”

“Well when he gets here tell him he’s a dead man if he isn’t here 15 minutes prior to his shift.” She storms out, clipboard in hand. 

The first day is always one of the craziest. Things don’t settle down until a few weeks in. And by the time they do settle down, it’s already the week before Christmas and they get crazy again. 

“Hi. I’m JJ Maybank. I think this is where I’m supposed to be?” You hear someone say, likely talking to the nutcracker that’s posted outside the green room.

“In there. Find Y/N. You’ll know it’s her because she’ll be dressed just like you.”

You roll your eyes. At least he showed up. Ten minutes late but he did make it.

He passes through the curtains, blonde hair a mess under his elf hat. You’ll have to remind him to brush it before he arrives. You have an extra brush in your bag, but you know you won’t have time to make it look perfect.

He spies you easily, strutting towards you. “I’m JJ. Are you Y/N?” 

“That’s me. You’re late, by the way.”

JJ looks at his watch, eyes wide and mouth agape. “I’m five minutes early! That’s the earliest I’ve been for any job!”

“Natasha’s rules state all workshop employees must be present 15 minutes prior to their shift.”

JJ rolls his eyes. “It’s only ten minutes.”

“And if it happens again, you’re a dead man. So you better be here 15 minutes early next time.”

“Okay but why 15? Aren’t we just sitting around those 15 minutes until our shift starts?”

“It’s for costume malfunctions. Like your hair. It needs to be brushed. If you had been here 10 minutes earlier, maybe we would’ve had time to brush it and make it look better.”

“My hair looks fine,” JJ grumbles, though he does attempt to smooth down the ends with his hands. 

You lead him over to the cubby next to yours, gesturing to it. “Put your stuff in here. And that includes your phone.”

JJ places both his phone and wallet into the cubby. He then takes his jacket off and puts it on top of the two valuable items.

“No one is going to steal your stuff, if you’re worried about that. This place is heavily monitored,” you say. “And no one but Santa’s crew is allowed back here anyway.”

JJ is about to speak when an elderly woman with white hair tucked under her hat enters the room. “Looks like Mrs. Claus has arrived,” he jokes.

“That’s Natasha.” You grab JJ’s hand, pulling him out to Santa’s corner before Natasha has a chance to yell at him for his tardiness.

“So what exactly do we do?” JJ whispers, eyeing the line of children and their parents that seems to wrap around the entire display.

“We help the kids from their parents to Santa’s lap and then back out to their parents again. And don’t forget the candy cane before they leave.”

JJ grimaces. “You mean we have to interact with the kids?”

“Yes. Now smile and act like an elf,” you say.

“How do- ohf!” JJ grunts as you elbow him and immediately reach forward for the hand of a little girl.

“Hi! I’m elf Y/N! And this is my friend elf JJ! What’s your name?” You ask in a high pitched voice. 

“I’m Sophie,” she beams. She grasps onto JJ’s hand and you have to bite your lip to keep from laughing at the face he makes. It’s clear he isn’t a fan of kids and you can’t wait to watch him interact with them for the next 30 days.

JJ pulls his booties on over the tights, chuckling to himself as the bells jingle. They jingle every time he walks. He’s grown so used to the sound now though. He’s grown used to looking absolutely ridiculous in his costume. He’s even grown used to the kids, which he thought was impossible.

But the way Y/N smiles when he coos at a baby or holds onto a preschoolers hand has helped him get over his dislike of the kids. He’d do just about anything to see her smile.

“Ready?” John B asks from the doorway, keys looped around his finger.

“Actually a friend is picking me up,” JJ says, grabbing his phone and wallet.

“What friend? You don’t have any friends besides us.”

“Well that’s very rude of you to think. I have plenty of friends. And her name is Y/N. We work together.”

“Work together or sleep together? Or both. Do you guys like, get it on in the costumes?”

“Ew, no,” JJ scoffs.

“Okay, you know elves is somebody's kink,” John B adds, shuddering as he does.

“I didn’t want to know that. I don’t want to think about that.”

“Okay but Y/N… you like her.”

“No. We’re just friends. We’re coworkers. We work the same shift and she offered to give me a ride, okay? Now can you make yourself disappear before she gets here? I don’t want her seeing your face.”

John B pouts. “Why not? I have a very likable face.”

“Just… please?” JJ asks, but it’s too late. 

The beat up Ford truck pulls up in front of the house. JJ knows it’s hers. On days when they work late and it’s dark outside by the time they leave, he walks her to her car. They once spent two extra hours after work sitting in her car and talking. She even gave him a ride home once, but he made her drop him off down the street. It was too risky for her to pull up to his actual house, especially if his dad was home. 

JJ knows John B is in the doorway when he exits the house. He watches as Y/N waves, a courteous smile on her face. JJ walks to the passenger side, hearing the familiar squeak of the old door.

“Who’s that?”

“John B. He’s my best friend.”

“He’s dating Sarah Cameron right?” she asks.

“Yeah. You know Sarah?”

“Everyone on this island knows Sarah,” Y/N laughs. JJ knows she’s not wrong. Everyone did know the Cameron's, especially after the huge scandal that went down last summer. People don’t typically forget about a murder and stealing of millions of dollars worth in gold.

“Right,” JJ laughs nervously. 

You tear your elf hat off as soon as you reach your truck. Today was a hard shift. Multiple crying kids, lines that wrapped all around the mall, parents who didn’t understand the concept of patience and waiting, and then there was the kid that peed on Santa Claus and made everyone wait even longer while Santa went to change. It was a nightmare. 

If it wasn’t for JJ, today would’ve been the day you quit.

But he insisted on stopping for dinner before you dropped him off, so here you were, sitting at a booth across from him, the both of you still clad in your elf costumes.

You probably looked ridiculous but you didn’t care. JJ was your sole focus tonight. He let you vent to him about the craziness of the day and when you weren’t talking he was telling you about the funniest wishes he had overheard while on candy cane duty. 

“All their missing socks?” You laugh, hand covering your mouth.

JJ nods, laughing harder. “He-He couldn’t understand why the dryer monster needed his socks more than him. He even asked if-if monsters were on the naughty list!” JJ bursts out laughing, as do you. If there was one thing that could cheer you up, it was this.

“Kids got a point,” you giggle. “Why does the dryer monster only take one sock and not both? Do you think he only has one leg?”

JJ nods, his smile wide. “Yeah, instead of one eye he’s got one leg.”

Your laughs die down slowly, but you can’t wipe the smile off your face. The smile that was forced all throughout the day was now a real one.

“I’ve missed that smile,” JJ says, reaching his hand across the table.

You blush but take his hand without hesitation, lacing your fingers through his.

JJ nervously clears his throat. “Do you think when this is all over, I can take you on an actual date?”

You’re not sure your smile could get any wider. “I’d like that.”

You both stare at each other for a while longer, before JJ can’t wait anymore. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he says, leaning over the table.

“I’d like that too,” you respond, meeting him halfway.

Tags: @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @serpentbaby @etoilesnoor @k-k0129 @maybanksbaby @talksoprettyjjx @canibeoneofthepogues @multifixx  @theonetheonlyalexbrown @glux64 @shy-1234 @sleepyhollands @cognacdelights @ilovejjmaybank @blueeyedbesson @cheshirecat107 @myrandom-fandomlife @makebank @ifilwtmfc @obxmxybxnk  @kookkyra @rafej-cambanks @blindedbypeaky @ahiae @repostcentral @midnightzonzz @blxndeprincess @dracosbbygorl @itsagurl @Poguesinablanket @amandaburris @tovvaa @sunnsettee

[sakuatsu]

YELL 2 ME ABT SAKUATSU FIC RECS PLS

oh boy. oh boy do i have much to talk about

here’s a list of my sakuatsu must-reads under the cut! complete with links, word count, ratings, and occasional commentary because i’m incapable of shutting up. this isn’t in any particular order either 

(keeping this sfw and organized into canonverse/AUs. a * means i am on my hands and knees begging for you to read this)  

i’ll try to update this somewhat regularly :]

most recently updated august 25, 2020!

canonverse:

*your highs and lows (series) by astroeulogy 

a post-time skip canonverse series born from these two questions:

1. what if sakusa kiyoomi, known too-blunt jerk, is equally straightforward about his soft, tender feelings?

2. what if miya atsumu, resident big fat jerk who doesn't care if his teammates hate him, is too emotionally stunted to notice when his one of his teammates actually likes him?

this is like the sakuatsu series but it’s blasphemous to not recommend. the first fic in the series is all that you were (4.6k, T). mind the ratings on a few of the fics, but my personal favorite is #3: a masterpiece of domesticity called you have tamed me (5.7k, T). these make me ACHE 

*sakuatsu domesticity simulator by pseudoanalytics (T)

a vaguely interactive mixture of fic, art, and html, where you too can experience the inherent romance of a big fat jerk and a too-blunt jerk attempting intimacy

this fic...this fic...op is literally one of my favorite artists of all time but Did You Know that their writing is also off the charts. what a wonderful use of second person and the pacing is so good. too much skill in one person 

*The MSBY Black Jackals Read Thirst Tweets by isaksara (11.4k, M)

Sakusa’s eyes are very dark naturally, sucking in all surrounding rays of light and crushing them in his pupils. For an athlete, he is rather pale. His lips look very pink in comparison. Atsumu is suddenly catastrophically aware that in this instance, ‘accent’ is a euphemism. “Good enough for your Olympic-size ego, Miya?”

(In which Atsumu realizes that he is attracted to Sakusa Kiyoomi in the most inconvenient way possible.)

i think this is the fic that got me into sakuatsu in the first place lol i was looking very specifically for msby socmed fics and now here we are. this fic is unbelievably funny

*liminal spaces by hhatsuna (25.9k, T)

Fuck you, Atsumu thinks, pointing at the pixelated Sakusa in the grainy team photo on his bedside table.

It’s easier than you’d think to ignore loving your teammate.

*Better For Us Both by abrandnewheart (15.7k, M)

Where “You already make me the happiest guy alive, babe," gives way to, “I’ve not been happy for a while now.”

Alternatively known as the ‘mug fic’.

yes this is a breakup fic. yes im going to recommend it anyway. breakup fics usually scare me a lot but this one is too good for me to not say anything about. nuanced and delicious. i look at the mug on my desk and feel pain

dog eat dog eat dog world by perennials (8.4k, T)

You are your first and only line of defense against the universe.

Koi no Yokan; 恋の予感 by ymra (15.3k, unrated)

Wherein Sakusa dreams of his future selves and discovers a little something along the way.

autumn ends, but we remain by wolfsbvne (5.3k, T)

atsumu stares at his ceiling at 2am. he stares until he can make out designs in his popcorn ceiling. a cat there, an onigiri here, and then something that suspiciously looks like a mop of hair, triangle eyebrows, and oh those two bumps are moles right above what atsumu just mapped out as an eye.

(or, atsumu is in kind of in love. sakusa is maybe in like.)

your fingertips, branding irons by Ceryna (5.8k, T)

Between the accidental touches he's reconciled, the deliberate ones he's endured, and, from those he's built years of trust with, obliged– Kiyoomi has never wanted to let someone indulge.

Never, until Atsumu.

take what’s yours and make it mine by claudusdiei (5.9k, T)

atsumu falls in love four times in his life

(or: in which atsumu gets his heart broken twice, has the self-awareness of a sober mule and really likes yellow tulips)

every action has an equal and opposite reaction by akanemnida (10.4k, T)

Miya Atsumu gets a modeling contract with Calvin Klein, which sets Kiyoomi's heart in motion.

(Or: Sakusa Kiyoomi realizes that the rules governing the universe are absolute rubbish at explaining matters of the heart.)

*where i want to be by tookumade (8.8k, G)

In the time they’ve been teammates at the MSBY Black Jackals, Sakusa has never been to Atsumu’s place, and Atsumu has only been to Sakusa’s a few times. There’s an unspoken understanding here: that Atsumu knows him well enough to know that nobody’s house or apartment would ever really meet his ridiculously high standards, and he is most comfortable in the home he’s made for himself.

That, and, Atsumu being over at Sakusa’s means that he has to host him and do the cleaning afterwards, while Atsumu can just flit off back to his own place. So. There’s that.

Tonight. Tonight is not business as usual. Tonight is not familiar.

*san'yō expressway, 6:17 pm by yamabato (8.1k, T)

Atsumu tilts his head to watch a slice of orange light bend over the impassive planes of Sakusa’s face. He is absolutely, ruthlessly beautiful. It makes Atsumu want to punch something—put his foot through the windshield—scream, maybe.

Kiss him again, maybe.

They have 344 kilometers to figure this one out.

parallax error: angle of inclination by min_mintobe (10.8k, T)

But now there's the one person Atsumu'd promised himself never to touch. His eyes leave Atsumu breathless with guilt at seventeen, and he spends the next six years safe in the satisfaction of making things right.

Feelings, of the physical kind, and one kiss.

ft. competitive spirit, childishness, and late night conversations.

Atsumu POV.

four leaf clover by vicari_us (5.9k, T)

Once, Ushijima claimed that they ‘got lucky’. If properly honed, their body types could become near invincible weapons.

However, unlike Ushijima, Kiyoomi’s weapon required a bit more care over the years to reach the condition it had become. He was born iron, not yet forged into steel.

Exploring what it might have taken to turn a genetic mistake into an athletic miracle.

*the 28 postcards you left me by wheelspokes (8.3k, T)

Atsumu takes texting your ex to a new level by sending Sakusa postcards in Animal Crossing instead.

such a unique premise & this is so beautifully structured. stunning flow and who knew animal crossing could convey so much longing...

AUs:

Pas De Deux by hhatsuna (dancer!sakusa au: 19.0k, T)

The mystery athlete gives Kiyoomi a once over in the mirror. “Yer pretty tall,” he observes, and the twang of an accent rasps low in his throat. His brazen eyes drift to Kiyoomi’s legs, and something like exhilaration glints gold in his gaze. “Good quads, too. Ya ever played volleyball?” Ah. So it’s volleyball.

“I’m a dancer. Ballet and contemporary, mostly.”

*my love, take your time by bastigod (archaeologist!sakusa au: 9.0k, T)

There was something sublime about wandering around an empty museum. Nothing could compare to the sound of his shoes clacking against the marble floor, the morning sunlight gently streaming through the lofty windows and the peaceful solitude of ancient stone kings overseeing their silent kingdoms.

A day in the life of Doctor Kiyoomi Sakusa, Archaeologist.

i’ve literally been thinking about this fic every day since it came out. you will not find a story like this anywhere else, i guarantee you. what a clear labor of love this fic is it’s truly something so special 

three roses and a smile by strawberrycitrus (surgeon!sakusa & microbiologist!atsumu au: 19.7k, T)

“I just got this job, I’m not givin’ it up for some moral boost ‘cause I actually need to pay my rent, ya insensitive -” Atsumu waves his hands around, trying and failing to come up with the right word to convey the amount of injustice that this gaunt motherfucker has brought into his relatively simple life thus far.

“If you can’t pay your rent, go get a job at the McDonald’s over by 8th Street,” Sakusa growls, “it’ll pay more than your researcher position.”

If you even attempt assault on a coworker, forget teaching about cells - you’ll fucking be in one, Atsumu.

*Dance of the Parallax by astroeulogy (ogre spirit!sakusa au: 6.7k, T)

For the last twenty years, Atsumu’s done all that he can to break his betrothal to the ogre spirit Sakusa. If he can just make it through one more night, he’ll be free.

honestly, just read everything by astroeulogy. i’m recommending this fic in particular because it has such an ethereal voice to it. magical

across oceans, across centuries by starstrikes (pacific rim au: 20.0k, T)

Six days ago, Osamu died and left Atsumu with this: Atsumu, you have to—

(Namikira rises with the tides and rips Osamu and Vulpis Empress away in one fell swoop. Six days later, Atsumu wakes up alone in a hospital bed and learns how to swim.)

you don’t actually need to know pacrim to appreciate this. a wonderful exploration of grief and recovery. also it’s exactly 20k words which is both satisfying and terrifying 

*Notte Stellata by awkwardedgeworth (ice skating/dancing au: 20.8k, T)

"Your partner doesn't need to hold anyone's hand other than yours," Sakusa's father crouches, "And you can wear gloves."

Sakusa ponders. He hears the other skaters of rink two whiz past as they launch themselves into lifts.

"Alright," He looks up from the ice, not knowing how he'll dedicate the next couple of decades to this sport, this partnership, this boy.

what a stunning fic. a beautiful progression of sakusa & atsumu’s relationship, rife with references to real skating programs, beautifully written and structured. so full of longing i’m in mild physical pain

[okay-victoria]

What do people think of Tanya? AKA: Actually, a lot of people agree with Lehrgen

Summary: WHOOOOO BOY. You know it’s going to be fun when my subsections have to have their own subsections. Briefly, there is the Good [people who like Tanya both personally and professionally], the Bad [people who like/love Tanya professionally but not personally], and the Ugly [people who ideally, Tanya will never speak to, look at, send mail to, or be in the general vicinity of ever again]. 

I would say most people fall into the “Bad” category - they recognize her value as an officer, sometimes to a worshipful degree, but on a personal level range anywhere from thinking she’s a creepy child to actively disliking her. Unfortunately for Tanya, the people that fall into the Ugly category are as a rule higher-ranking than the ones in the Good category, and most people in the Bad category seem to like her specifically in her military role, and it is questionable they’d want her as even a coworker outside of that, let alone as a friend.

The Good

People who’re in here: People who have only ever heard of Tanya in the context of the Silver Wings award, people she interacts with in the Imperial Navy; rando soldiers; someone kinda high up in the later-war Eastern Army command; Ugar

People who only know her from Silver Wings:

V1/C1

Describes the nice aura people would see in someone who wins the Silver Wings.

The Navy

V3/C2

A naval officer does assess Tanya as having a predatory look, but doesn’t seem to think particularly badly of it, he just notes it, and then says “Degurechaff was a fellow soldier he could be proud of, which was why he extended his hand in utmost seriousness to wish her well.”

Rando Soldiers

There’s no real good single quote on this, but over time Tanya comes in to reinforce various units and leaves behind various impressions, ranging through Good, Bad, and Ugly, but anyway, there almost have to be low & middle ranking officers and soldiers who are presumably nothing but grateful to Tanya for rescuing them, even though we never get much of anything from their perspective.

Others

A superior officer of Tanya’s in Eastern Army command, in V5/C1, gets a transfer request for Tanya’s unit and reflects he is sad to be losing her.

Ugar - I don’t have down any specific pieces, but IMO it comes across in the LNs that Ugar is generally well-disposed to Tanya and doesn’t have the positive professional/negative personal thoughts that most other people close to her do.

The Bad

People who’re in here: Tanya’s academy/war college instructors, the 203rd battalion & later Kampfgruppe, Zettour, Rudersdorf, Generic Superior Officers, Romel, Lehrgen’s professional opinion

Tanya’s Academy & War College Instructors:

V1/C1

Tanya’s zeal during academy scares her instructors.

V1/C4

The instructors scrawled “abnormal” across the top of Tanya’s file.

“In the academy, we were told over and over – and, for some reason, over again – to love our troops. Weirdly, now that I think about it, I feel like they emphasized this the most when talking to me.” <= Tanya...you’re...you’re so close.

V1/C5

Mentioned that some teachers in the academy are on Lehrgen’s side of the What The Fuck Do We Do With Tanya debate.

V3/C5

Romel’s summation of her personnel assessment notes that at least on paper, the academy and the war college gave good overall evaluations of her.

203rd Battalion:

V1/C3

[Visha] “The moment she turned her icy cold eyes on us like we were objects to be appraised, I shrank from her in spite of myself. People might laugh at me for being afraid of such a little kid, but those eyes reminded me of the way a cat looks when it’s playing with a mouse, which creeped me out”

[Visha] “I was different from Lieutenant Degurechaff, who could calmly nail fleeing soldiers in the back with optical sniping or explosion formulas. I was relieved because I wouldn’t have to shoot.”

V1/C5

[Visha] “Was she an agent of the devil or of God? It had to be one or the other. Ahh, I can’t believe I have an ally more horrible than the enemy. She’s not human. I would bet my life on it. Me and a few others saw it once. During training, one of our teammates dropped like he was dead. The captain gave him a good kick, and before we knew it, she was back on his feet. I had been staring into the abyss of death myself…the captain heaped abuse on me. But I know, I saw it: she charged into the avalanche to save me. Even after my friends told me that she tossed my busted body aside like a used rag, I believe. She is definitely a good commander, even if I’m not sure about her as a human being. Of course, we all laugh and bad-mouth her…if the captain is an apostle of God, then only the devil can possibly exist.” <= in good news, Tanya, you are currently winning on your quest against Being X and mostly making people believe that he’s the Devil for allowing you to exist!

V2/C1

[Weiss] also refers to Tanya as a vampire

[Weiss] thinks Tanya is arrogant

[Visha] “her thought is That’s so low, Major.” <= this is in response to Tanya pulling out her child voice to announce they were going to bomb Dacia’s factory.

[Weiss] “Weiss has only known her for a short time, but even he can pick up the displeasure his superior doesn’t bother hiding. Her mood is as dangerous as nitroglycerin. When Weiss quietly takes a step back, everyone discreetly follows suit. Nobody wants to be so close to Major von Degurechaff when she’s irritated.”

V2/C5

[Grantz] “If the devil exists, it has to be our instructor, the commander of the 203rd Aerial Mage Assault Battalion, the legendary Major von Degurechaff. The way she smiled. The way she looked at us like we were maggots. The way she seemed thirsty for blood. I’d believe she had tried to kill a rebellious underclassman or crack his skull open. If I screw up on the battlefield, she’ll definitely kill me. That’s how threatened I felt by the instructor who just had to also be my advisor…I wanna cry.”

[Grantz] “This was the major who had once said during a speech at the academy that deadweight should be killed…This is crazy. No one said it aloud, but it was the look on everyone’s faces. This was a nighttime mission to abduct enemy soldiers…Magic Second Lieutenant Warren Grantz realized he was shaking. My survival instinct was screaming. I wanted to avoid the war, the combat, the killing. I was hesitating. But one glance from Major von Degurechaff was enough to subjugate that instinct. She was far more terrifying…I was so terrified I hardly felt like myself anymore…How could the major just calmly sing a hymn?”

[203rd banter] Visha asks if anyone wants to trade places with her so she doesn’t have to be with Tanya all the time, and Weiss and Grantz are not itching to take her up on the offer.

V2/C6

[Grantz] Is really, really bothered by how chill Tanya seems to be about Arene.

V2/C7

[Weiss] Reflects on all the horrible things Tanya has put him through, but ends his reflection on the note that he understands why it was necessary to prepare them for war.

V3/C5

“Apparently, the troops serving directly under her thought she was a great field officer” <= Romel re: Tanya’s personnel file

V4/C5

“‘Please have the 203rd be part of your Kampfgruppe. All of us in the battalion wish to continue serving under you.’”

Tanya doesn’t get what she wants, is then pissed, and it gives off weird abusive-parent vibes where all her children try to flee and not be present, and for the ones who have to be (Weiss & Visha), they take it by flinching, cowering, praying to God for Tanya not to explode, etc.

V5/C4

[Visha] “Reality is far too unreal. She’s crazy. There’s something strange about her...The colonel cackled – no, she giggled, smiling like a child. It was positively surreal to see her eyeing the enemy with her tender gaze and licking her lips. She snickered, but what was so funny? She was terrifying...Dripping red liquid. Pink things that used to be humans, flying everywhere. And opposite that scene was a beaming little girl. It was so surreal, it made more sense for me to suppose I had gone insane. No, maybe I really did go insane. The sight of my superior officer nodding with satisfaction and beginning a confession of her faith was horrific. I didn’t get even a glimmer of madness from her beautiful, innocent eyes. They were the eyes of a stubborn servant of logic, full of pure reason. But that’s what was horrific: those eyes stuck on that doll-like face.”

V5/C5

Tanya has some good banter with her Kampfgruppe soldiers and it seems like everyone’s getting along.

V8/C4

T: ‘Are you saying you throw yourself into the slaughter purely, justly – sane and sober? Don’t make me laugh. That’s a broken man talking. Going to war after downing some liquid courage with a grimace is much more human.’ He frowns for a moment, perhaps thinking to argue back, and then whines, ‘So are you drunk, then, Colonel?’ <= yes, a random officer from Tanya’s Kampfgruppe just asked if she was drunk and that’s why she’s always throwing herself into battle so excitedly.

V8/C5

T: ‘Glad you’re safe, Lieutenant.’ V: ‘Thank you, ma’am. That said, I would have rather you spared me from getting caught up in that attack.’ T: ‘What choice did I have?’ V: ‘What is that supposed to mean?’ Serebryakov puffs her cheeks out in a pout, which is surely a sign that she’s feeling better. <= Tanya, Visha wanted you to apologize, not excuse yourself, damn!

Zettour

V1/C5

“He doesn’t know whether they should praise her original ideas or call her insane.”

“Apparently, she hasn’t forgotten that she once said she wanted a battalion. She, a first lieutenant, to a brigadier general…something liable to provoke antipathy? She’s already done that.”

“The smirk on Tanya’s face reminds Zettour of some unpleasant rumors he’s heard about her.”

V2/C5

Zettour both remains horrified that Tanya was able to speak so frankly about a world war, yet he is sympathetic to the fact that she could do it because she understood what would happen.

V4/C3

Tells Rudersdorf that he “unwaveringly trusts” her military decisions.

V4/C5

Tanya comes to Zettour to request better units than he’s given her. He finds the request beyond arrogant, seeing as how pressed they are for men, especially for the fact that this is shortly after the Moscow situation and her battalion has “gone too far and been a handful”.

“Somehow, he didn’t think there could be that many damaged kids in the Empire like this young teen back from the battlefield. And actually, regardless of how he felt about it as a soldier, personally, the idea of interacting with them was terrifying.”

“But Degurechaff was unfazed and inquired about their experience with killing people. She saw people as products, and she was asking if they had been tested – that was the nuance. Could such a completely utilitarian view of people even be taught? Certainly, the army is an organization that pays attention to individual functions. Substitutability and cost consciousness are two factors hounding everyone. But can you really judge a human being by those criteria alone?...That innocent face and her straight back made her look something like a surreal doll. Doesn’t…Doesn’t anyone think this is strange?”

Zettour is mentioned to have originally had the same doubts about Tanya as Lehrgen, but after her performance he claims he is ready to “swallow any pill, no matter how bitter” (I think working with Tanya being the bitter pill) to win the war.

Zettour gives Tanya a little discretion to commandeer some equipment, she takes a lot of discretion. Zettour sort of laughs at off saying “this was Degurechaff” but does also mention that Tanya’s actions “amounted to a borderline interference in Supreme Command.”

V8/C4

Zettour is impressed with how Tanya has trained Grantz and thinks that if she wasn’t so good in the field, he’d put her in education.

“Sure, Degurechaff may have been broken, but not as an officer.”

Rudersdorf

V2/C1

Rudersdorf says that Tanya has a “distinct” [read: probably means difficult] personality, but if he just divided people into useful and not useful, she was useful.

V4/C3

Zettour and Rudersdorf debate Tanya, and he mentions that he only thinks she is talented in the military realm.

Generic Superior Officers

V2/C5

Tanya has a misunderstanding with her CO on the Rhine front. He wants her to train some new recruits normally, she mistakes it as saying “well, kill as few of them as possible, but do what you gotta do,” she gets kind of reprimanded over it.

V3/Intro

“Performance Evaluation: Major Tanya von Degurechaff:

Counselor’s Notes on character and conduct [this is printed normally]: Abundant loyalty and excellent fighting spirit. Follow regulations to the letter. Devoutly religious.

[this part is handwritten] Has a bad tendency to take matters into her own hands. Competent but as difficult to handle as a mad dog.”

V3/C1

“Some of the officers even added another thought in the back of their minds: Major von Degurechaff might actually be able to wring out even better results.”

V3/C3

Tanya goes wild on her base commander when he won’t let her sortie to Brest to prevent the French army from evacuating. <= Oddly, IIRC, no one ever like, apologizes to Tanya for not believing her, which is kinda rude, so mostly the incident reflects negatively on her instead of being a balanced: ok she did violate some rules, but...maybe if we’d listened to her we’d have avoided the rest of the fucking war, so seems like it might have been called for?

V3/C5

“The most important evaluations during a war are the ones from the battlefield, and those were all over the place.” <= Romel, re: Tanya’s personnel file

“The second was that although the evaluations were contradictory, she had achieved enough that she was considered an outstanding soldier. Awkwardly, regardless of how she was as an officer, as an individual mage, she was thought very highly of. Her number of kills was among the highest on the Rhine front.” 

“In any case, strictly as a mage, she was unrivaled. As an officer, too, she was by no means incompetent. So they must have been giving her to him as reinforcements and as an excuse to get her out of their hair. Honestly, he felt like they were foisting off their problem on him. ‘They’re telling me to take a mad dog out on a walk with no leash?’ He let slip a complaint. Maybe it was just prejudice, but that wasn’t what it felt like to General von Romel. After all, he was basically being asked to bet on a bad hand.”

V4/C2

Everyone on the General Staff realizes the huge amount of fallout from Tanya attacking Moscow. The backstory of this is that when Tanya asked for permission, the General Staff thought she was just going to do a fly-by and freak them out, not attack the city. It pretty much kills any opportunity they had to negotiate a quick settlement with Russia in the cradle.

Romel

V3/C5

Romel’s first meeting with Tanya pretty much goes: “so arrogant it’s invigorating...unbelievably insolent...in addition to her self-important attitude, it exuded heavy sarcasm...not only was she arrogant, she was clearly horribly warped.”

“Any commissioned officer would understand just from hearing her make that one comment why the Northern and Western Groups couldn’t control her. Having a mage battalion drop out of the command structure was almost like losing a whole division” <= ie, Tanya’s previous superiors must have really disliked her to give her up.

“She simply decided she would be a patriot if it was good for the nation. In short, she’s a capable lunatic, but the bad part is she doesn’t realize she’s twisted…She’s crazy. And competent. And more sincere than anyone I’ve ever known.”

“Without a doubt, she’s going to end up being the most horrible person I know. And she’ll probably also be one of my most reliable friends on the battlefield.”

V3/C6

Romel reflects that she is a mad dog, and that she is an ego-crushing entity for the average officer. <= while Romel never brings this up, this has a *ton* of important real-world implications for Tanya, especially assuming men still have more than a little trouble listening to women outside the military. Even if you believe the best rumors about Tanya, you still might not want to hire her because she’s going to be better than you, and most people hate that feeling.

V4/C1

Tanya goes to the Eastern Front, and Romel reflects that he is sad to lose her and that once you got used to her, he found her easy to work with.

The Ugly

People who’re in here: Lehrgen’s personal opinion, Some wartime randos, OG Eastern Army Command, OG Northern Army Command, Imperial Government, people who mostly know Tanya from her Arene reputation, Western Army Command; Implied Future View of Tanya

Wartime Randos

V1/C5

“Some of those who had been on the front lines had a strange reaction to the name [the 11th Goddess] we picked. They claimed it was the worst joke they’d ever heard.” <= ie, Tanya was the Devil, not a goddess

V2/C1

Tanya is happy that Dacia has zero airpower. She displays her happiness by smiling maniacally and skipping around her tent. Everyone thinks Tanya is happy that they just got invaded again and the war is growing and she can go kill people. 

V2/C5

A kinda random infantry guy is still having nightmares about Tanya in like, 1960, and reflects back on how he felt when he heard Tanya casually call for friendly fire to go right through where her men are flying. He questions why anyone listens to her.

“But when I replay the memories in my mind, I can’t help but shout, You monster! A hero, a star, and outstanding magic officer. You, ma’am, were a great officer. To all of us imperial soldiers serving on the Rhine lines, you were a god...Yeah, she’s a god – an immensely powerful one who presides over life and death. Her words, brimming with a spine-chilling anger, swept over the area as if she was planning to attract all the enemy hostility like moths to a flame. Major von Degurechaff had bared her fangs. It invited a violent reaction. The Republic wanted to hunt the devil. In other words, they devoted all humanity’s wisdom to killing the god of death. Gods don’t die, but those of us next to them? …They were right to call her a god of death. She killed the enemy, and the enemy killed our men. Then the noble major, with a glance at all the dead in the mud, took her leave. Fucking hell.” <= and you thought Lehrgen hated her. But, again, real-world implications of this could very well be that post-war, Tanya is a total persona-non-grata as someone that had a high degree of influence on how rabidly everyone fought against the Empire, and how the Empire was treated in the aftermath. I don’t make it out quite that bad, but it could be really rough if someone wanted to make it that way.

V4/C5

“The Guard Division had been on many assignments dealing with formal events, so we had experience…But what is that? That absurd, expressionless, doll-like creature was giving orders to people who appeared to be bloodthirsty mages just back from the war zone.” 

“Could it really…could it really be possible for a child to wear such a smile?...Her hands were soft and would have looked more natural holding a doll, but instead, this odd, human-shaped creature spread her arms as she delivered a welcoming address. No one. None of the high-ranking officers present could raise an objection to this thing. The veteran mages all obeyed this inhuman being in the form of a person.”

OG Eastern Army Command

V1/C5

“The members of the eastern army had been openly angered by her annoyed look until days before, but now their faces were pale. She said exactly what she thought: ‘Incompetent, pitiful, lazy, arrogant, unprepared, mentally disabled, inattentive, no powers of observation’ and her conclusion was that ‘all mages of the Eastern Army group require reeducation’”

“The ranking officers from the regional field armies who had come to protest ended up bearing the brunt of the General Staff members’ critical glares.”

OG Northern Army Command

V2/C3

“With no idea when Colonel General von Wragell might explode in his seat at the head of the table, Lieutenant General and Chief of Staff von Schreise was inwardly annoyed, but at the same time, the atmosphere was so tense he wanted to bury his head in his hands.”

“Schreise couldn’t be the only one thinking that he would have thrown her out immediately if she weren’t a representative of the Central Army’s view.”

“‘You’re very humble, aren’t you?’ one of the staff officers murmured, curling the corners of his mouth into a smile that was more of a sneer.”

“Schreise had never seen a major with such a big head without making light of him…without hesitating even a little, she – a mere battalion commander – matter-of-factly gave her opinion to the staff and even had the audacity to disagree with them. Even with the sacred, inviolable General Staff’s power behind her, she was nearing an inexcusable challenge to authority. A head could be allowed to swell only so far. There’s a limit to what can be tolerated, even for recipients of the Silver Wings Assault Badge!...the major, though still rather new, was readily crossing a line of which all graduates from the war college should have been aware.”

V3/C5

“There was a pile of especially severe criticism from the Northern Army Group. They said she was transferred after voicing a clear objection to those in authority.”

Imperial Government

V2/C5

Tanya sinks a Commonwealth vessel, she is court-martialed, the military says she did nothing wrong [which I agree with], but the diplomats want to punish her to appease the Commonwealth. After the not-guilty verdict, Tanya’s smug-ass smile makes everyone go: umm...should we really have let her get away with this??

V4/C2

She then further makes the diplomats hate her over her Moscow raid.

V4/C3

Rudersdorf warns Zettour that Tanya going overboard is earning Zettour criticism from the government.

V4/C4

During her second court-martial, Tanya doing the most in Moscow manages to fracture the relationship between the government/supreme army command & the guys more in charge of the day-to-day war, like Zettour & Rudersdorf.

International Post-Hoc View on Arene

V2/C6

“They gunned people down like they were so many targets in a firing exercise. They got ‘points’ for shooting people. People had blocked themselves in, so they used heavy-explosion formulas to bombard whole districts. Those are all painful memories of the tragedy being shared today. Even counting only the confirmed deaths, the city of Arene lost half its population that day. In order to avoid the heavy responsibility for each soldier that would result if they went into the city and had to visually confirm their targets, they aimed to cause widespread fires via artillery bombardment from positions surrounding the city. A portion of the documents shows that they had chosen targets that were likely to spread the flames as proof-of-concept for firestorm.” <= the reporter doesn’t know this, but Tanya is the person that comes up with that proof-of-concept for creating a firestorm, as well as the person that creates the case to make it legal to repress a civilian revolt with a military. To me it seems like Arene is presented as the Tanyaverse Bombing of Dresden, except how it would be viewed if Germany had won WWII.

Tanya thinks about how if the Empire loses, her reputation is in the toilet if it becomes known that she did this.

Western Army Command

V2/C6

[The Lt. General or above that is in command of the Western Front] “A terrifying report or a proposal from hell. The one who thought of this was either a lawyer so cunning the devil would invite them to join forces or a criminal. This way of thinking is practically inhuman. Only a devil who forgot their reason and conscience in their mother’s womb could come up with such a tactic. That someone would equate having the technical capabilities for an operation with actually doing it…Are they deranged?”

“Luckily, an army corps commander summoning a mere major is extremely rare. Exceptional though it was, it meant there was a chance he might have to summon this monster again someday…Doing his best not to look directly at the monster straightening her posture in front of him, the army corps commander accepted that it was for work and met her.”

“The principles behind the actions of this major in front of him were impossible to understand using anyone’s logic or emotions. Her inorganic eyes compelled you to conclude that her thoughts, her frameworks, her way of being were all warped.”

This guy keeps going on and on more than I have here, tbh he’s one of Tanya’s main haters. It’s fine Tanya, it’s only the guy in charge of Western Army Command, who listens to him?

“I hope no one noticed that I just flinched, thought the army corps commander, sensing that he was distinctly afraid of her…No worries about what? He deeply wanted to ask what she was planning to do, but he held back. He told himself it was surely better not to know…But there is probably no one more suited to being a soldier than you. Perhaps you feel at home in hell on the Rhine front.”

V3/C5

“The Western Army Group declined to evaluate her, saying her good and bad points neutralized each other, so it was difficult to rate her. Furthermore, she had attempted to resist orders.”

Implied Future View of Tanya/The Parable of the Salamander

V4/C5

“From what I heard, the Salamander is adorable and very clever. If you show it affection, it’ll get attached to you. Like a German shepherd, it can become a trustworthy member of the family. Sometimes it begs or plays tricks, but apparently, everyone ends up overlooking these things. Of course, Mrs. Legen grew angry and screamed that it went too far, but…Well, in the end, everyone doted on the Salamander. Because when it’s even more reliable than a German shepherd, how could you not? At some point, though, the Salamander’s requests and pranks grew to be too much. But what do you think happened when no one was sympathetic to dependable Mrs. Legen, who had continued to angrily scold it the whole time? That’s right. No one was able to stop the Salamander! Of course, the Salamander loved and cherished everyone. But sadly, there was no one to teach it right from wrong. So the Salamander never realized that everyone disliked it. Soon it had exhausted everyone’s patience.” <= for reference, Tanya commands the Salamander Kampfgruppe; this is told as a cautionary tale that Andrew says circulates throughout the future Empire.

Your Author’s Take on Tanya’s Reputation vs Reality

The above should have real-world implications for Tanya’s personal life as far as friends, and for her career both within and beyond the military once the war is over, because, you know, people talk. Anyone who phones up an old pal because said old pal had some quality time with Tanya and they’re curious what she’s like is probably not going to receive a glowing personal recommendation, and the higher up those people are in society, the worse it is likely to be. 

Even for people who think she has a genius applicable beyond the military sphere, outside of extreme circumstances people generally don’t want to employ anyone, no matter how smart, who is known for being unpredictable, uncontrollable, arrogant in the extreme, abusive towards coworkers, manipulative, possibly just straight up evil, etc etc. Within the military, after the war I would expect her to be hampered by the fact that a lot of people won’t want to work with her unless there’s a really pressing reason they need her skillset.

I can’t believe I’m bringing this show up from years past, but she’s sort of in the same position as Dr. House from the TV show - famously talented; famously toxic in the workplace; only one place will employ him, and at a much lower salary than his reputation should command, and even so, thinking that he could get away with that in real life is pushing the suspension of disbelief for the show. The same goes with friendships - very few well-adjusted adults are willing to befriend The Cool Asshole in real life.

When it does happen IRL, those relationships usually aren’t healthy & happy, and can easily end up with borderline-emotionally-abusive undertones because the follower is afraid of losing the leader, and molds themselves to fit what the other person wants so as to be an unchallenging, uncritical presence in the life of their idol.

For a story about an adult man reincarnated as a young girl fighting in magical WW1.5, YS manages to put a surprisingly interesting twist on the Main Character is a Cool Asshole Without Consequences model, with Tanya getting away with it in the present due to extreme circumstances, not realizing that the war is the only reason she’s getting away with it, and facing many implied future consequences for it.

While it’s entirely possible and often completely necessary to handwave Tanya overcoming this for storytelling purposes, as you can’t go many places story-wise if Tanya is as screwed as it sounds like she’s going to be, standard reality is that she’s gonna need to do some serious legwork to dig herself out of the hole she’s in, both personally and professionally. 

I appreciate that the crux of a good Tanya story is often Tanya thinking normal reality will apply to her but then bypassing normal reality to end up somewhere she never intended on being, much to her chagrin, and readers therefore may feel adhering to realism violates the reality of Tanyaverse. 

For the purposes of this story, I have chosen to stick with where the preponderance of evidence leads and apply a good amount of normal reality to Tanya, because that is exactly what allows me to proceed along a different avenue of Tanya misunderstanding things and ending up somewhere she never intended on being, keeping to the spirit of Tanya stories. Plus, Tanya doesn’t seem very intent on growing as a person in the absence of consequences and I need my character growth drivers.

...and I can’t avoid admitting I still end up handwaving some portion of those consequences for Tanya, since, as stated above, it’s...hard to go anywhere with a story if you don’t.

[justabstractthings]

Scrubs and Combat Boots Part II | Bakugo x F!Reader

Pairing: Bakugo Katsuki x Female!Reader

Warnings: Non-stop swearing of said explosion boy. 

Part One

A/N: In honor of Nurses Week, I wrote part 2 to my Bakugo x Nurse fic. This piece holds a special place in my heart because I’m also a nurse. I’m dedicating this fic to health care workers dedicating their lives to serving their community, before and during this pandemic. I hope you all stay safe and enjoy this piece. Let me know what you guys think!

Word Count: 2.8k

The second time you met Bakugo Katsuki you thought it was a total coincidence. 

You were a nurse working in the ER and you always noticed the same frequent flyers would come at least three or four times per month. They never left much of an impression on you. Well, except Bakugo Katsuki. The loud-mouthed hero always seemed to pop into your train of thought at least once during your shift. So, it had to be a coincidence when you saw him again two weeks later. 

That is until you found out he’s been harassing the other nurses and techs on the floor.

You had just finished transporting a highly critical patient to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU). You’ve worked a total of eleven hours now and you were a measly hour away from being able to go home and sink into your very comfortable bed. Just the thought of the soft covers wrapped around your exhausted body had you melting on the spot. 

Unfortunately, all of that changed when you heard the familiar explosions and aggressive shouts coming from the ER. When one of the other nurses gave you a pleading look, you squared your shoulders and marched right into the noisy trauma room. 

To say that the room looked like a war zone was an understatement. 

Your clean and organized trauma room had gauze bandages haphazardly decorated all around the room as if they were Christmas lights. Expensive pieces of equipment were knocked over as if a tornado flew in for a nice holiday.  Doctors, nurses, techs, and security were running around and yelling like chickens with their heads chopped off. 

Chaos. Total chaos.

Your eyes zeroed in on the culprit as he kept on swatting and growling at your coworkers. You let out a big sigh as you wiped some sanitizer on your hands and grabbed a pair of gloves from the wall. 

Just one more hour. That’s it. One hour.

“Touch me one more time and I’ll fucking blow your hands off!” 

Yep, that’s it.

Everyone kept their distance as they looked worriedly at the injured hero. They knew the kind of strength the young hero possessed. The wild look swimming in his carmine eyes promised danger.  They were hesitant to approach him any further. But you weren’t. You pushed your way to the front of the crowd until you stood face to face in front of the growling hero. 

“Ground Zero, I’ll be your nurse this evening. What seems to be the problem here?” 

As a medical professional, you were trained to assess your patients during the first sixty seconds of interaction. You noticed Bakugo’s breath hitch with every inhale, the strain of his muscles as they trembled with each explosion, and the visible blood pooling by his left hip. Bakugo didn’t seem dazed, which was a good sign to rule out any emergent head trauma. But you needed a more thorough examination to help your patient.

“I told them to back the fuck off,” Bakugo growled. “I don’t need any help from these shitty extras.”

You sighed as a pounding headache reverberated through your head. It was either due to your lack of sleep or the explosions that kept going off. Either way, one of them needed to stop. 

“I really don’t have time for this. Can you guys give us some space?” Your co-workers looked at you in disbelief and hesitantly left the room. One of the security officers stayed behind outside of the room. You scoffed. As if you couldn’t take care of yourself. “Now, are you going to let me help you or not?”

Bakugo glared down at you but said nothing. He watched as you smiled at him and gestured towards the hospital bed. The memory of you pinning him against the wall left a bitter taste in his mouth. Bakugo compliantly climbed onto the bed. He does not need another repeat of that incident. 

“I’m gonna need you to take off your shirt so that I can take a look at your injuries, Ground Zero.” You grabbed Bakugo’s chart from the counter as you looked over the notes from the other nurses. Just as you had expected. It seemed that the hero was sent to the ER after another nasty fight with a villain, but why come to this hospital when the villain attack was broadcasted from the other side of the city? You shrugged and left that thought for a later time. You had other pressing matters.

“Ground Zero, why don’t we-.” Your breath hitched as if an invisible hand constricted your throat that prevented the rest of your words from spilling out of your gaping mouth. In a snap, your mind went completely blank. You couldn’t process the image right in front of your face. You forced yourself to blink and look away, but it was impossible. 

You’ve seen hundreds of people without a shirt on before. It never bothered you because you were a nurse, for crying out loud! You’ve seen everything. You’ve probably seen more naked people than a prostitute. The human body was nothing new to you. 

But he can’t possibly be human.

Jagged scars and discolored bruises visibly littered his golden-toned skin, evidence of his grueling work as a pro-hero. The largest scar traveled across his chest, from his right shoulder to the bottom of his left rib cage. His toned abs rippled with each breath, taunting you for even having the audacity to look at them. When Bakugo leaned back on his hands, you swore his biceps noticeably grew in size with each flex and movement of his upper body. You tried to overlook the scars and burns that traveled up his muscular arms, but it was as if you were in a trance. 

Definitely not human.

The room felt noticeably warmer even though it was just you and your patient occupying the space. You clenched the clipboard in your hands as you tried to keep your palms from sweating under the blue gloves. The hammering against your chest made it impossibly harder for you to focus as your eyes traveled up and his scared body. 

Everything came to a halt when you noticed the teasingly satisfied smirk on Bakugo’s sharp jaw. “Something wrong?”

If it wasn’t the cherry red blush across your face, it was definitely how quickly you turned your back to him that made your thoughts plainly obvious. You cleared your throat and said, “Nothing. Just reading your chart.” 

The slight stutter in your voice didn’t escape Bakugo’s trained ears. He frowned when your attention wasn’t solely focused on him. When did he start caring about one nurse’s attention? He forced the thought to disappear as quickly as it had appeared. 

Bakugo watched as you continued to clean the room, inspecting each supply and deeming if it was usable or not. His eyes trained to your figure that fluidly traveled all across the room, caught in your simple trance. You held yourself in such a confident manner that the usually callous and vulgar hero was awestruck into silence. Similar to your first encounter, Bakugo found that he could not look away from your scrub clad figure. 

“Sorry about earlier.” Bakugo scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. “They shouldn’t have cornered you like that.” 

“Damn right they shouldn’t have,” Bakugo barked. “I would have blown their faces off.”

You hummed as you gathered the supplies needed to treat Bakugo’s injuries. “I’m sure you would have, Ground Zero,” you said teasingly. The annoyed glare focused on your back only made your smile widen.

When you were finished, you faced the eternally glaring hero. “Alright, Ground Zero. I’m going to take a look at you and then afterward, the doctors will come in and see you, okay?” You took his silence as an understanding. “Now, take deep breaths for me.”

When you placed the stethoscope on his chest, you could not focus on the sounds of his breathing. Your senses were completely overwhelmed by the sight of the rise and fall of his toned chest. You also made the mistake of taking a deep breath as you inhaled the intoxicatingly sweet scent of caramel.

As you continued your examination, you noticed more of his features than the last time you saw him. A quick flash of light showed a light halo of gold around his pupils that would normally be overwhelmed by his distinctive vermillion irises. His nose was slightly crooked, most likely from being broken too many times and improperly healed. There was also a small scar at the bottom of his right stubbled jaw. 

You prayed the pro-hero could not hear the distinctive thumping on your chest. This was a bad idea. He was your patient. You should not be enjoying his presence as much as you were. Any other patient would not affect you as much as Bakugo did. The exhaustion of working for nearly thirteen hours must have weakened your resolve. You did read that exhaustion can play tricks on the mind. That must be it. You were tired and that’s it. It definitely wasn’t Bakugo.

After concluding your assessment, you wrote down your findings on Bakugo’s chart. “Good. I’ll call in the doctors and they’ll take care of you for the rest of your stay.”

“You’re not staying?” Bakugo pursed his lips as soon as those words left his mouth.

“As much as I would love to hear you swear at my colleagues, I have a nice warm bed waiting for me at home. But don’t worry. I’ll make sure they take good care of you.” Before you stepped out of the room, you gave Bakugo one last smile, “Do you need anything else from me?”

Bakugo could think of a million questions he wanted answered but he shook his head and said nothing as he watched your retreating figure. A quick feeling of sadness enveloped him as you disappeared from his sight. 

The explosive hero growled as he was left more puzzled than the last time he was at this hospital. How can one woman have such control over him in the short amount of time you interacted. Was it your quirk? It had to be. You must have had a powerful quirk to affect him this much. More than ever, Bakugo was determined to see you again. 

And destroy whatever power you had on him. 

~

The next day, Bakugo trudged into his hero agency. He ignored the high pitched greetings the secretaries practically screeched at him. Bakugo welcomed the soft hum of the elevator as it carried him to the top of the building. After a dissatisfying visit to the ER, all he wanted to do was get some mindless paperwork done, maybe punch a villain or two. 

Or he could also find Kirishima and use him as an indestructible punching bag.

Speaking of Kirishima, when Bakugo entered his office, he found him lounging on one of the couches with his usual shark-toothed grin.

“Bakubro!” Kirishima leaped off the couch and went to greet his life-long friend. “Where were you last night? After the fight, you just disappeared.”

“None of your damn business, shitty hair,” Bakugo growled as he slammed his bag onto the desk. “The fuck do you want?”

“Damn, a little grouchy this morning.” Kirishima skipped towards his friend’s threatening figure. “Did Princess Bakugo not get enough sleep last night?”

Years of being best friends with said explosion hero taught Kirishima one crucial thing. It’s that if he was outright teasing the man, he better activate his quirk before Bakugo blew his face off. But that never stopped Kirishima from constantly pushing Bakugo’s explosive buttons.

Kirishima merely grinned as he noticed Bakugo seemed to relax a little bit better after letting off one explosion. The hardening hero plopped himself in front of Bakugo’s desk as he watched his friend furiously typing on his laptop. “Answer my fucking question, shitty hair.”

“Only if you answer mine first, blasty. Where were you last night?” Kirishima raised a brow, wondering why Bakugo has been a bit absentminded these last few weeks. Never has Kirishima seen Bakugo so preoccupied especially when it comes to hero work. When Bakugo answered him with silence, Kirishima sighed and decided on a different approach.

For better or for worse, Kirishima knew there was one thing that would help his best bro.

Kirishima grinned and stretched out his neck and back. “You leave me no choice.” Before Bakugo could even glance at Kirishima, the red-haired hero smashed his right fist into Bakugo’s cheek. Bakugo snapped his head towards Kirishima and glared daggers at him, a clear communication that death would be approaching said best friend. 

The explosive hero jumped out of his seat, not caring that his leather chair toppled against the hardwood floor. “Die!” Bakugo aimed a large explosion directly at Kirishima’s face. It caused the large windows to shatter and crumble against the sheer force of his explosion.

Thankfully, Kirishima anticipated Bakugo’s attack and hardened his skin to protect against the explosive impact. Before Bakugo could counter with another attack, Kirishima aimed his hardened punches for Bakugo’s face and torso. His grin widened as his anger-management-needing friend was backed into the corner of his office. 

Bakugo was quick to dodge but he found that Kirishima had become increasingly quicker by the number of knicks and cuts on Bakugo’s skin. He could not be on the defense for any longer. His pride refused to back down. Bakugo aimed a quick explosion right in front of Kirishima’s face to block his line of sight. In succession, Bakugo dropped down to the ground and swiped his legs from under him. With a victorious grin, Bakugo pressed his knee against Kirishima’s chest and grabbed Kirishima’s shirt. 

“You feel better?” Kirishima wheezed as Bakugo pressed his knee further against the red head’s lungs. 

The explosive hero glared down at his friend and released his shirt with a huff. “Fuck off, shitty hair.” Bakugo plopped himself on the one couch that wasn’t destroyed and stretched his legs out. The ash-blonde watched his friend practically skip towards him and sat on the table in front of the couch. He looked like a puppy waiting for his promised treat.

Bakugo groaned and wondered how the hell was he still friends with the spiky-haired idiot. “I was in the ER.”

“Like, out of your own free will?”

“Do you want me to fucking tell you or not?” Kirishima zipped his lip. “I was investigating a nurse that I think uses her quirk on unsuspecting patients.”

“For good or for evil?”

“I don’t fucking know,” Bakugo groaned and covered his eyes with his arm. He hated admitting any weaknesses he had, especially when he couldn’t figure out what was going on. “All I fucking know is that the ER nurse used her damn quirk on me twice-”

“Wait, wait, wait. YOU, Bakugo Katuski, Ground Zero, Lord Explosion Murder, went to the ER TWICE.” 

Bakugo let off threatening explosions from his hands and growled at the redhead, “Can you fucking shut up for once in your damn life, shitty hair? Do you want me to tell you or not?” Kirishima raised his hands in surrender and motioned for Bakugo to continue. “Yes, I fucking went to the ER twice.”

“Well, then what happened?”

Ground Zero lifted himself off the couch and paced around the destroyed office. “I don’t fucking know! Every time I see her I get this damned tingling feeling and my shitty heart starts racing. One second, I’m fucking yelling at all these damn extras, and the next, I’m not. Like all the rage and anger just fucking disappears and I don’t know what the fuck she did. I don’t know if her quirk is tactile, olfactic, or if it works like Aizawa-sensei’s quirk. So I need to fucking figure out what her damn quirk is and how powerful it is.”

As Bakugo kept working himself up, Kirishima merely observed his friend as a sly grin slowly grew on his face. 

Kirishima has been friends with Bakugo Katsuki for years. When something is wrong, Bakugo knows how to fix it, albeit mostly through violent means. He is quick to use his brain and his brawns to come out victorious in a battle. However, Kirishima watched his explosive friend yell and rant about a nurse. Unfortunately for Bakugo, this was unfamiliar territory. Fortunately for Kirishima, his friend was as dense as their fellow icy-hot hero. The outcomes were unknown, but Kirishima would be damned if he didn’t get to aid his friend’s “investigation”. 

“The next time she fucking uses her quirk on me, I’m gonna kill her!”

The redhead stepped in front of Bakugo and placed a hand on his shoulder, ignoring the explosive glare directed at him. “Whoa, dude. Calm down. Look, why don’t we talk about this more over lunch? I have the day off, so we can go to that curry place you like. What do you say?” The hardening hero flashed a shark tooth grin.

With a grunt and a roll of his eyes, Bakugo shrugged Kirishima’s hand off and stomped out the door. 

This was going to be interesting. 

[ohnobjyx]

TTXS 200809

Oh, my, I was just watching TTXS, but I can’t help but share the best moments of this... This is golden, seriously (for me at least since I’m seeing two of my favourite actors in the same show).

I don’t know if  you guys know Zhao Liying (ZLY), WYB’s costar in YF. She’s a very powerful actress, and left a very deep impression in me for her role in “The story of Minglan” (知否知否应是绿肥红瘦).

(I must recommend “The story of Minglan”, since some of you seem interested in c-ent. This drama centers in the gender of 宅斗 or the schemes of the inner house, women in ancient times fighting in their own way to get themselves a better life, which usually meant a good marriage. I found refreshing that by playing by the rules of the game, Minglan, played by ZLY, was able to defend herself and the people she loved. ZLY’s rendition of Minglan is a kind and soft girl with a cunning mind, and her portrayal of a soft-spoken character with a steel core really shocked me).

Sorry, I always end up rambling. Well, ZLY is known by the name of “little knife” because of her sharp tongue. She’s not very fond of small talk and she’s rather straightforward and WH said: “with her, you only have to listen to her first words. The rest is to salvage what she has said”.

Many of you can guess why I’m writing this post (besides the fact that I liked it very much), and I left my opinion in the last part of the post. It’s a bit long, so I’m leaving a cut here. Happy reading!

Disclaimer: a heavy dose of my opinion and a little bit of speculation here.

1. In a video that has already spread on the internet, WH asked WYB if ZLY had invited him to eat.

WYB: we don’t go out very often so...

QF: See? That’s a no.

ZLY: I did invite him!

Then it’s WYB, all surprised, and like, “oh, yes, yes, she did”. Then QF asks him what they ate, and dd spends a few moments trying to remember: “emmmm...”

ZLY: there a lot of things... (QF: you remember it so clearly!) I paid, so of course I’d remember it!

(WH: did WYB invite you?) ZLY: he said he was on a diet...

BTW, always pay attention to what this guy actually remembers. He will forget that he was so sick that he went to the hospital several times or the fact that his coworker invited him to eat (at least 3 times), but he will remember that he met XZ in one episode he filmed 2 years ago or that there were swans in a scene they filmed together.

2. Her response to whether they talk is also golden.

WH: do you two usually chat?

WYB: once we were familiar, we chatted.

ZLY: once we were familiar, we chatted 2 sentences.

3. Before, dd’s answer to whether he can eat spicy food was that he couldn’t. But in this one, he clearly says that he can eat spicy food (and in a previous episode, even though the food was too spicy for him, he kept going back to the dish because “he couldn’t stop”). So... who has changed dd?

4. Their interactions while browsing the different stands were also very cute. They look like the kind of friends that doesn’t need a lot of words, but have a good understanding anyway (they have the same kind of character, very straightforward and colder with strangers). They are very comfortable with each other, and I’m glad for that.

I can see why some het-obsessed fans would pair them together (even though ZLY is married and has a baby and they sometimes visited her on the set). What I want to say to that is: compare how they are with each other, how they behave with other coworkers/friends and how they behave respectively with XZ and Feng Shaofeng (ZLY’s husband and his costar from “Story of Minglan”).

I can see that WYB is much more comfortable and relaxed with her than he is with other female celebrities. In fact, in the Tencent Awards night we can see him pausing and offering his help to ZLY, who was wearing a long dress and going up the stairs of the stage very slowly. Or the multiple times he was extremely corteous with her in TTXS. From my point of view, I think that’s because of a combination of the fact that she’s married + they get along well.

Since she’s married (and it may not look like it, but ZLY is 11 years older and she was already in the industry when WYB was in primary school), any pairing between them fans come up with is very likely to be dismissed as just fans’ imagination or baseless rumours.

Even ZLY was able to sense that there was something different when XZ and WYB are together (btw, she had conjuctivitis in her right eye the night of the Tencent Awards, and the stylists chose to hide her red eye with her fringe, which is why we get her left eye side glance).

Source of the photo: MayXian3.

(For those interested... before this moment, WYB had said something to ZLY from a normal distance. In the next second, he leans so obviously towards XZ that he leaves that huge gap between ZLY and him).

[arianaderalte]

my employee keeps getting deadnamed by a coworker

A reader writes:

I have managed “John,” a transgender man, for about two years. John does not keep his transgender status a secret, but he also doesn’t go out of his way to tell people, so some people know and some don’t. “Lizzy” recently transferred to a department that works closely with ours. She previously did not know that John was trans, but now that she’s interacting with him much more often, she’s found out. At first, she didn’t seem to have an issue with it, but then she discovered some articles he’d published while still going by “Sally,” and now she insists on calling him Sally. She claims that she has no problem with trans people, but that she feels it’s important to call John by the name he was given at birth “out of respect for his mother” (John’s mother does not work for our company, and to the best of my knowledge, she and Lizzy have never met).

John and I have both asked her to stop, but she refuses. On John’s request, I have also gone to her manager, but Lizzy has a very domineering personality and her manager avoids confrontation, so I don’t think he’s said anything to her. Not only is Lizzy’s insistence on deadnaming John offensive, it is confusing, because many people don’t understand who she’s talking about when she mentions Sally. I’ve tried casually correcting her in the moment, as if I thought she was making a mistake, and John has outright refused to answer to the name Sally, but she keeps saying that it’s disrespectful to his mother to use a name she didn’t choose for him. John complained to HR, but they said that because she is not explicitly harassing him for being trans, they can’t do anything. (For the record, our state did not consider being LGBT a protected class, though from what I understand, the Supreme Court ruling should have changed that.)

John has now started exclusively calling Lizzy “Elizabeth”; there is another Elizabeth in the office, and if there’s any confusion over which Elizabeth he’s talking about, John uses Lizzy’s maiden name, rather than her married name. Lizzy HATES this and has complained to him, me, and half the office, but he says that it’s out of respect for her mother. Honestly, I think this is hilarious (and kind of want to start doing it too), but I feel that as a manager, I shouldn’t encourage John to deliberately antagonize Lizzy, even though she started it (and definitely shouldn’t join in). However, it does seem extremely unfair to tell John that not only does he have to put up with Lizzy using his deadname, he has to use her preferred name. Do I have to tell John to knock it off? Is there anything more I should do about Lizzy?

Lizzy is horrible, and your HR sucks too.

It’s ludicrous for your HR department to say that Lizzy isn’t harassing John for being trans, when clearly she is. Anyone who has even a passing familiarity with the ways in which trans people get harassed knows exactly what this is.

You’re right about the recent Supreme Court ruling that discrimination based on gender identity is illegal. (But even aside from that, what’s up with your company refusing to intervene when an employee is refusing to call another employee by his proper name? It sounds like there’s an agenda there.)

How high up have you gone in HR? If you can go higher, do — because it’s possible someone will overrule whoever there told you that. Point out the recent court ruling, and point out that the company is opening itself to legal liability by refusing to protect John from Lizzy’s harassment.

You should also go back to Lizzy’s manager and push the issue again. You said he prefers to avoid confrontation, and often the best approach with people like that is to make not acting the more unpleasant option for them. So be pushy, be loud, and keep following up — “Have you talked to Lizzy yet?” … “This is still a problem, when will you be talking to Lizzy?” … “What Lizzy is doing is unacceptable. Can you call her in right now and we’ll both speak to her?” … etc. Keep up the pressure until he does his job. You owe that to John.

You also said you’ve been casually correcting Lizzy when you hear her deadnaming John, as if she’s just making an innocent mistake. Stop giving her that cover. Call it out more honestly: “Lizzy, you’ve been told repeatedly to stop calling John that. Why are you continuing to do it?” If she trots out her ridiculous line about respecting John’s mother, then say, “John’s name is not up to you. You are being disrespectful and embarrassing yourself, and you need to stop.”

As for John calling Lizzy “Elizabeth” and using her maiden name (out of respect for her mother!) … well, it’s pretty brilliant. If your company says it’s okay with what Lizzy is doing, then surely this is the logical conclusion. It would be tremendously unfair for you to tell John he has to stop, while Lizzy gets to continue harassing him. Let Lizzy experience some very deserved consequences of her actions.

But that’s not enough, amusing as John’s handling of it is. You need to keep pushing — with HR, with Lizzy’s manager, with anyone else with appropriate authority here — because you can’t let an employee be repeatedly harassed on your watch.

The update, a month later:

Hearing from Alison and all of the commenters made me realize that I needed to talk to John about what he wanted to do. I apologized to him for not being proactive enough with this problem and for underestimating just how offensive Lizzy’s actions were, reiterated that I was on his side, told him that I was setting up a meeting with Lizzy and her manager for later that day, and asked what he wanted to do and what he wanted me to do. He admitted that although he was joking about it, he was actually really upset by Lizzy constantly dead naming him, so in addition to needing her to stop, he would rather not work with her anymore, or at least work with her as little as possible. I also told him that I was willing to make a big stink about both Lizzy’s actions and HR’s inaction to my boss (Lizzy’s grandboss) and the higher ups in HR, but that I wanted to make sure he was comfortable with being explicitly identified as being transgender and experiencing transphobic harassment. He said he was worried about escalating the issue himself, because he didn’t want to come off as pushy or overly sensitive, but that he did want me to do it.

I took Alison’s advice with Lizzy’s boss and just checked his and Lizzy’s Outlook calendars to find a time when they were both free and set up a meeting, figuring that his dislike of confrontation meant that he would go along with it. I said that Lizzy’s offensive behavior towards John had gone on way too long and that she needed to immediately stop calling him any name other than John. She tried to say that she had no problem with transgender people (I had not mentioned anything about him being trans, only that she had to call him by his name) and that it was a matter of respect for his mother, but I interrupted her and said that John’s mother and her feelings were irrelevant and that she was being deeply disrespectful to John, who is actually her coworker and thus actually needed her respect. I also said that it didn’t matter how she felt about trans people or if she didn’t intend to be transphobic, purposely calling John by his dead name was a transphobic action and it needed to stop, and that until I could trust her to treat him with respect, she was not to attend any of our team meetings and any workflow that would normally pass between her and John would go through me first and I would pass on the information. Her boss spoke for the first time then and said that that sounded like it might make us miss deadlines on some of our tighter turnarounds, which I agreed was true, but that given that Lizzy refused to use John’s name, I felt I had an ethical duty to prevent her from speaking to him at all, not to mention that allowing her to continue harassing him would open us up to litigation. I tried to say this all as matter-of-factly as possible, so it would be clear that I didn’t care how Lizzy actually felt about mothers or trans people, and that I wasn’t asking for suggestions on what should be done.

After that meeting, I emailed my team and explained that due to Lizzy’s outrageous and offensive behavior, I was changing our procedures so that she and John would no longer have direct contact, and that they should expect some delays in communication between her and our team. I also apologized for having allowed her to behave in such a blatantly transphobic fashion for close to a month, which should never have been tolerated at all, and explained that I had told her that she had to stop immediately, so if she referred to John as Sally again, they should let me know, either by forwarding me an email if it was in writing or by documenting the incident if it were over the phone or video chat, and should also feel free to tell her that she was being offensive and needed to stop.

This is when things get satisfying! My boss was included on the email to my team, and he called me about half an hour later asking about it. I hadn’t told him much about the Lizzy situation, because he has very little patience for people complaining about their interpersonal conflicts to their boss, and while this is a lot more significant than an interpersonal conflict, I thought he wouldn’t want to hear about it anyway, especially since he doesn’t have much contact with my team in normal times and has had even less while we’ve been virtual. Once I explained what had been happening, he said that was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard and set up a meeting for the two of us with the head of HR for the next day (I asked John if he wanted to come and he said he’d rather not and he trusted me to take care of it). The head of HR agreed that this was outrageous and that HR should never have tolerated it. A week later, Lizzy got fired. Then the HR rep who had said this wasn’t explicitly transphobic got fired about about a week and a half later, Lizzy’s boss had to go through some pretty extensive management training and there’s talk that he may transfer into a position without any direct reports, the entire HR department did training on LGBT issues and what is now required of them because of Bostock v Clayton County, the entire company got an anonymous survey asking if we had ever been harassed or felt that we were the victim of discrimination in the workplace, and the head of HR personally apologized to John for the first HR rep’s mishandling of the case and encouraged him to come to her if he ever felt harassed based on his gender identity.

I also sent John the link to my original letter, and he told me to thank everyone for all your supportive comments. And of course I want to thank you all as well, for giving me the confidence to escalate this situation the way I should have from the beginning. It’s seeming more and more like Lizzy, her boss, and the first HR rep were problems, but that the company as a whole really is the good place to work that I’d always thought it was.

Link

[beastars-takes]

Zootopia Takes: The Power of Really Liking Each Other

Our main event, Beastars Takes, will resume soon, but in the meantime I want to talk about one of my favorite movie relationships:

Has this been talked about to death by other people? Yes. But this is my blog and I write it for free so I can do what I want.

Note: this is not a shipping post--this is just an examination of their canonical relationship in the movie and why it rules.

At first glance, this is your typical enemies-to-friends story. I love those. But while the typical arc tends to involve two characters who can’t stand each other, who eventually develop a grudging respect for one another (often through some kind of shared ordeal) and maybe thaw into actual friendliness at the end. Zootopia packs all of that into the first half--by the midway point they are clearly not just allies, but friends, and by the end of the film they’re inseparable.

It’s important to recognize this isn’t just for the hell of it, or just to be cute--the closeness and trust they build is the linchpin of their success in the final moments of the movie.

All the reasons why, after the jump.

Something I talked about in the previous post was the messaging of Zootopia, and I don’t want to rehash it too much here. It’s a movie about prejudice, and the work it takes to overcome it. A key theme (one that it shares with Beastars, incidentally) is that friendships with those who are different from you are hard--but they are worth it.

Part 1: They Hate Each Other! (Right?)

Now...it goes without saying that when these two first meet, they bounce off each other hard. Each is seeing the other at their absolute worst.

Judy can’t stand Nick because he takes every bit of optimism she has about this world and throws it back in her face. She want to use him as a prop in her vision of an equal society, where “not all foxes” are crooks. He laughs at her. He humiliates her. All he has to do is walk away, but he takes his time. He twists the knife.

For his part, Nick sees a laughably ineffectual bunny who condescends to him and threatens him with jail for the crime of...humiliating her. She may not personally be a threat to him, but she wields the institutional power of the ZPD--a power he has plenty of reason to be afraid of--and she does it irresponsibly.

On first viewing, Nick inarguably wins this exchange. He avoids arrest, reads her to absolute filth and leaves her stuck in cement.

And he makes her really sad. Nice!

But, and I don’t pretend to be the first person to have pointed this out, on second viewing it’s obvious he can guess her story so well because it’s basically his story. The only difference, in his mind, is that he’s accepted the reality that he’ll never be allowed to live the life he wants, while she is still vainly pursuing hers.

I don’t know about you, dear reader, but the people I’ve met who have always most pissed me off are the people who remind me of things I hate about myself. The people who seem to embody the flaws I’ve worked to minimize. Nick’s naive hope is what has brought him the most pain in his life. He sees this bunny full of the same naive hope, surmises that she’s facing the same failures he did and yet stubbornly refusing to learn from them. It’s irritating.

Pictured: irritation.

Maybe I am projecting, but if Nick is anything like me, he probably didn’t walk away entirely happy from this exchange. Yes, he “won,” but he was also reminded of everything about himself that he least wanted to think about.

Part 2: They Are Not Very Good at Hating Each Other

So, the thing about Judy is, she is naive. By default, she assumes people are her friend. But she’s not stupid.

Nick assumes she is stupid, not least because she hasn’t wisely given up on her dreams like he has, and...he learns that she maybe not so fun to pick on after all.

So they wind up doing the first part of this enemies-to-friends routine, allies of necessity.

So, naturally, because he is Him, he makes it his mission to torment her.

In fact, we get two whole scenes where all he does he does is watch her struggle and make this face.

The first read of this behavior is that he’s just enjoying the failures of someone he hates. He says as much later. But I would also argue--from a viewer’s perspective--Judy is ridiculously entertaining and charming throughout these encounters. She wears her heart on her sleeve, and it’s hard not to like people like that.

Is there more happening here than just schadenfreude? I won’t pretend to know for sure. But worth considering.

By the time they’re investigating the limousine, his sabotage has diminished into something more like gentle trolling. And you can’t see this face, in context...

...and tell me she isn’t starting to like him, at least a little bit.

He’s also starting to help! By the time they’re past the minor detour of almost being murdered by a mob boss, he’s entirely cooperative, helping her conduct interviews and look for clues. The movie doesn’t call particular attention to this, but it almost did.

Finally, let’s look at Nick’s behavior when they’re being chased by a rabid jaguar. He could have absolutely booked it, with no regard for the cop who was blackmailing him into helping her.

These moments go by so quickly, but they’re hugely revealing of his true character, even before he defends her in front of Chief Bogo.

He picks her up when she falls.

More importantly, when he gets to the skytram, his first instinct isn’t to jump in--it’s to hold the door for her:

He sees she can’t make it, and she even tells him to leave without her. He doesn’t. He holds the door until he can’t anymore, and as a result he’s nearly killed.

Nick is a good boy.

Part 3: They Are Friends Now

She save his life, so he saves her job. This is a key story beat, and it’s a Disney movie, so there’s not a lot of subtlety (except how the specular highlights in Judy’s eyes fade as Bogo asks for her badge--the light literally goes out of her. Go watch).

But it’s such a sweet moment of teamwork--he was contemptuous toward her from the start because she believed in herself. This is the first time she’s simply given up in the whole movie, and he steps up. Because he believes in her now.

And she believes in him! Or, she wants to.

Judy’s supportiveness here is sweet, but it’s also still a little selfish. It’s not that different from their interaction at the ice cream shop, really: she wants to meet a fox who defies stereotypes, who is easy for her to like. Someone who ticks all the boxes to prove her family wrong.

When he starts being more foxy, later--self-identifying as a predator, showing his claws, challenging her--we learn that her supportiveness is conditional.

Am I being too hard on her? Sure. She’s been in bunny country her whole life. She’s new to this and she’s trying. But that’s where she’s at.

But still! They’re friends now. They’re no longer pretending they don’t like each other. Judy’s openly encouraging, Nick is fully in her corner, and we get a few cute sequences where they keep being more and more impressed with each other.

He’s still not above affectionately messing with her, and she’s getting worse at pretending to dislike it.

And he trusts her enough to let her flush him down a toilet...

Which gives us this heartbreaking shot where he thinks she’s drowned. He cares a whole lot about this bunny.

She likes him too! Enough to want to team up on a more permanent basis. This is pretty standard-fare enemies-to-friends stuff now, but considering where we started, and considering they’ve known each other for all of two days? Not bad!

It’s clear this moment means far more to him than it does to her, too. It’s actually taken very little persuading from Judy to get him to step up and be brave and helpful and trustworthy. The fact that he’s turned around and opened up to her so fast suggests he’s been ready for an opportunity like this for his entire life, and never got it. I mean, look at his face.

The foundational flaw in her worldview is still there, though, and it’s about to do almost-irreparable damage to their whirlwind friendship.

Part 5: Fuck!

So Judy gives her press conference, and gives a great example of why police usually answer every question with “the matter is currently under investigation,” or “we’re not prepared to comment further at this time.” Honestly, though, this is on Bogo--I had coworkers who once did some press interviews, and they spent over a week doing media training. They didn’t even break a major kidnapping case. So, you know.

So she repeats some weird race science stuff she assumes is true because someone in a lab coat said it, which is amusingly similar to how race science (or “race realism”) often propagates--people with low-rent doctorates from crappy universities write a bunch of scientifically shoddy material and people say “well, he has a PhD!”

And then Nick has a PTSD flashback? I don’t want to be irresponsible and make an armchair diagnosis, but also...that is absolutely what is depicted on screen.

You’re not immediately “better” after something like this, which is why I cut Nick a bit of slack when he basically blows up their friendship.

Judy...doesn’t get it. It’s completely heartbreaking, because she likes him, and doesn’t understand why he’s mad, and isn’t self-reflective enough to stop and think maybe he has a point. Not until it’s too late. He tests her, and she fails.

Their friendship has always been a little inequal. He’s trusted her with everything, shown her his deepest vulnerabilities. She’s never trusted him completely.

So he leaves.

I don’t want to impugn her professionalism by suggesting she wouldn’t have quit the force if she hadn’t had that friendship-ending fight, but, you know. Maybe.

This is the second time she gives up, and this time he’s not there to pick her up again.

Judy is intensely goal-oriented, and I don’t think she realized what Nick’s friendship meant to her, as the first person in the city who truly believed in her, until it was too late. Judy is sweet and well-meaning but emotional intelligence is not really her strong suit (which is actually cool to see in a female Disney protagonist, imo).

So, while it would have been nice for her to track Nick down immediately and apologize, I think it makes sense for them to spend time apart. Her own self-perception has been shattered, and she needs time to figure out how she went so wrong.

So when she does come back, she delivers one of the best animated apologies I’ve ever seen. Only AtLA compares, in my mind.

Part 6: They Are Much Better Friends Now

Nick forgives her, because of course he does.

(Sidebar--people talk about how he kept her carrot pen the whole time they were apart. He also kept his handkerchief from Ranger Scouts, AND he only wears shirts that match the wallpaper in his mother’s house. He desperately needs a hug.)

Credit to Nick also, who can’t fight and has no police training whatsoever, who has multiple times been almost killed helping her out, now agreeing to help her out again. She’s not even threatening him with jail this time!

We, the viewers, are then rewarded with this great montage of them being best friends.

She’s finally stopped pretending not to be amused by his shenanigans.

(One other sidebar here--Nick is canonically a really gentle character. For all their adventuring, this is only time in the movie he gets physical with anyone: to protect the bunny. Again, he definitely can’t fight and immediately gets smacked across the room. But it’s the thought that counts, right?)

Per the post title, more visual evidence of them really liking each other.

Judy trips on a dead body, and here we get the second time in the movie that Judy tells Nick to leave without her, and he won’t--this time, he refuses explicitly.

Which then gives us the opportunity for the big moment--the culmination of all this care and intimacy and trust.

In order to con Bellwether, she lets him stalk her, and bite her throat. This has been often pointed out, but it’s important--throughout the movie, Judy’s wriggling rabbit nose has been used as a signifier of fear and suspicion. It wriggles when she’s spying on Nick at the beginning. It wriggles like hell when he confronts her after her press conference.

Not here. Doesn’t move. It’s a great, clearly intentional animation choice that tells a close observer (or more likely, a repeat viewer) that she’s completely unafraid.

She trusts him.

I could write a whole other post about how well-scripted this movie is, how every scene is doing half a dozen different things, but the way the personal and the professional come together here, the way the threads of prejudice and friendship and the police case all tie together in this moment. It’s good shit.

This is basically where things end, in terms of character development, but we get a bunch more shots of them clearly adoring each other:

So there it is.

To sum up, certainly not suggesting this movie invented “characters liking each other,” or anything like that. But it goes above and beyond in portraying a friendship that’s not just one born of circumstance, one that’s authentic and unmistakably loving. Characters who enjoy spending time with each other, regardless of what’s going on around them.

I hope everyone is able to experience friendships like that. I absolutely treasure the few I have.

Appendix: The Shipping Thing

I hope I’ve made all this ship-agnostic, which was my intention. I personally like the ship, and I think the reason it resonates with people is because that love and trust and closeness is clearly there, and a romantic relationship creates a lot more easy opportunities for dialing those things up even higher.

I would also argue, if pressed, that the amount of teasing and physicality that happens reads as pretty flirty. If they were humans I knew in real life, I’d definitely think there was something going on there. But I’m an American, where touching and emotional intimacy tends to be read as romantic. Also, animals are a lot more cuddly than humans. So who knows? I think it’s perfectly reasonable to read them as platonic friends until the end of time.

But, one way or another, they love each other a lot. Shout out to this, one of the most emotionally rewarding relationships I’ve ever seen in a cartoon.

[missmillyashford]

Eight Hundred Eyes Are Better Than One - Reaction

I should have done this a long time ago but I just reread this chapter and reacted to it as I went if you’re interested @anbu-legacy

Because I’ve had a grudge against canon Jiraiya for so long it’s been an interesting but slow process of adjusting to this (better) version of him where his awful traits either don’t exist or are slightly more subdued, and traits I could actually appreciate are more emphasized. And saying that, I love this image of this giant, flamboyant man being so unsubtle about his summons that he just wakes up not just Kakashi but his entire FLOOR. Nice one. This man is a spy theoretically and I love that juxtaposition. At least it makes it easy to let Ryouma know they’re leaving.

“Dodomeki?” he said quietly. 

Boyfriends, Kakashi reflected, were supposed to be reassuring. “I’ll bring you an eyeball,” he promised. 

“Gross.” 

This reminds me of that time Kakashi found a weird creepy bug in that one cave during the kiri mission and instead of leaving it be like a normal person he decides to pick it up and bring it all the way back to the team to scare Ryouma with it. I always find it super funny when Kakashi pulls stuff like this, terrorizing his poor teammates with gross unwanted show and tell. I personally would love a gift like that, though. I am totally someone who would probably keep particularly interesting animal body parts preserved in a jar somewhere in my house because I find anatomy and physiology interesting. I once had the opportunity in one of my university classes to hold a horse’s brain and was quite enthralled. I just wanted a good look at it and was really curious what it would feel like.

“Just bring yourself home safe.” 

“Always do,” Kakashi said, which was mostly true. “Captain, too.” 

I’m reacting to this on a reread so hahaaaaaaa. Nice one, Kakashi. Your poor hands.

I would say I can’t believe that Kakashi actually WENT INTO THE ROOM to wake up Raidou and Genma, but this is Kakashi, so I can. He could have just knocked on the bedroom window, or just gone to the door, like a person with basic social skills and a modicum of decency. Kids these days. No respect for the general concept of privacy. Sheesh. Boundaries. I’m glad I’m not them. I will admit that I laughed though.

Raidou jerked, sat up wildly, and blurted, “What the hell?” 

“Taichou,” Kakashi said, with a little wave. 

Genma exhaled, tweaked the sheet so that it covered Kurenai more fully, then sat up — a much smoother operation. “Hatake,” he said tightly, visibly trying for calm. 

“Lieutenant,” Kakashi said. And, for good measure: “Yuuhi. Well done.” 

Asdfghgfds. This bastard. I love and hate him. DK is always so good at this sort of humour with Kakashi and it never fails to get me.

I feel bad for Genma and Raidou and Kurenai right now though because they didn’t even get to TALK properly the next day after getting together before Raidou had to leave.

Kakashi felt his spine stiffen. Reflexive, pointless defense of his parents, who had raised him on legends and myths, told in the few quiet moments between everything else. 

I really love the callback to Don’t Fear the Dark. It’s really interesting when we get little glimpses at what Sakumo was like, and what his family was like before it fell apart. The defensiveness about it has my heart hurting, because it’s one of the few tiny pieces he still has of his father. Speaking of Sakumo, mythology/legends, and Don’t Fear the Dark, I remember that there were traditional masks of demons and things in their home. For a very long time I’ve been very curious to see what the Hatake estate looks like, and what other personal items from Sakumo and their life before are still there. Here’s to hoping we’ll get to see it one day?

I like how these legends have been woven into the worldbuilding too.

Usagi thumped him on the shoulder. “Better dodge, then. We’ll bring some of her scrapings back in a jar for the lab.”

Genma would probably appreciate some jar-scrapings, though. 

Genma’s my type of person. I appreciate him.

I’m really enjoying getting to know a little more about the relationship dynamics of the members of team thirteen. Ginta and Usagi’s relationship is so fun.

I love Goya purely on the basis that she’s a badass archer lady with wicked aim and I feel like that’s understandable and valid.

While Raidou and Usagi bartered for shelter, and Jiraiya signed autographs for the goat herder’s starstruck daughter, Kakashi watched a handful of goat kids bounce back and forth over a fence with blithe disregard for its actual purpose.

The goats hopping over the fence makes such a great image. I adore Tarama the goat village, purely because of the goats. And the Katsuko callback.

I am weak to the characters being dumb reckless idiots experimenting with jutsu for science so I was LIVING for the thunderstorm Ginta-Kakashi shenanigans. I’ve also always loved thunderstorms so I might be extra weak to lightning users. Just casually detonating each other’s jutsu and hoping they don’t explode each other irreparably in the process. Good fun.

Actually getting so see Kakashi split lightning was so cool. We keep hearing about it in canon and legacy so to finally see it is so satisfying. I like the description of sharingan vision as “he tracked the bolt zig-zagging down as if it were made of syrup, oozing through superheated air, long, lethal fingers branching out towards them.” And I also particularly liked this line:

The lightning snapped towards him like a massive, elemental predator scenting blood. 

I am very amused:

In the dizzying aftermath, Kakashi had just enough time to think ow and awesome before the next strike threatened, and they both ran like hell for the village. 

Usagi’s childish glee is so great. And yeah, I feel both her reaction AND Raidou’s are pretty appropriate. But still, lol:

“When did you turn three hundred? Your rookie just did the coolest thing ever. Stop being miserable about it.” 

“You want him?” Raidou said. 

“Yes,” said Usagi instantly. “Hatake, you’re mine, get over here.” 

“Wait, no,” Raidou said. 

I’m glad Kakashi is being appreciated.

The conversation Raidou and Kakashi had about KureGenRai hook up was veeeeery interesting. I wasn’t expecting Kakashi to react so harshly. I guess it is hypocritical of Raidou to say what he said then do that, though Raidou has a point that it’s to protect rookies from senior officers. Lieutenants and Captains are different since they’re closer in rank. I’m guessing that Kakashi is kind of frustrated with how he and Ryouma have felt like they’ve had to keep their relationship secret for fear of getting in trouble, even if same rank liaisons are technically not against the rules, unwritten or otherwise. Because of Raidou’s whole boundaries thing and general testiness about that kind of thing?

I’m curious to see how keeping it a secret from Ryouma will go. How long will they even want to keep it from him, and if they do want to keep the secret how will Ryouma feel about both the relationship and Kakashi��s secret keeping once he finds out?

Another thing I’ll be curious to see is if this at all changes if Kakashi wants to keep his relationship with Ryouma secret still, and if so from who. I’d doubt it would since there are other factors but still. I am looking forward for when people find out, but at the same time I’ve been enjoying it being private. I think a temporary shared secret like this can feel kinda intimate so long as it doesn’t overstay its welcome. And we get scenes like Kakashi panicking and hiding in Ryouma’s bathroom while Ryouma clumsily lies and implies he may have hooked up with an Uchiha to evade arrest so that’s a bonus. I think being able to have their own relationship exist in isolation from judgements and comments from the outside allows them to take some pressure off their relationship, and gives them time to figure each other out and how to just be together unhindered. I can see why they’re doing this the way they are.

A mass grave. Whoever had dug it — Kusa ninja, most likely — had missed the small body on the hill. 

“Poor bastards,” Usagi said quietly. 

Kasumi, of all people, went back for the body. 

I like this detail about Kasumi.

“Now we track,” Jiraiya said. He gave a little wave in Kakashi’s direction. “Do the nose thing.” 

Some days, Kakashi didn’t feel entirely respected in his workplace. 

Loooool

It took two more days to even get close to the Dodomeki. For Kakashi, it was like living in dual headspaces — the clean, sleek arrowhead mind of a predator, and the disordered tangle of everything human. Team Thirteen, with their… themness. Jiraiya — firmly, unignorably himself. The discomfort of Raidou and the unhappy friction between them. No Genma to smooth down the rough edges. No Ryouma to distract with chatter or an unexpected, brilliant idea. 

I really liked this section for a couple reasons:

1)    I like how when certain members of the team are absent it highlights just how important they are to the entire team. Genma the vital lynchpin and mediator; Ryouma the emotional heart, friend, and innovator. I also appreciate that it’s not just their skillsets that are addressed either. They’re valuable for things like their kindness, level-headedness, and company.

2)    I love the acknowledgment of duality of Kakashi’s headspace and social interactions. The headspace required to do his job as a tracker vs. working as part of a team of antsy, ridiculous people are very different. The interactions he is going to be having with the wolfdogs that don’t even so much as speak human vs. his human coworkers are going to be very different too. Kakashi having an entirely different headspace with the dogs  to the point he actually separates it from being entirely human (like referring to “humans” as if it were a group he isn’t entirely part of) reminds me of all the way back to the thread Lost in the Dark when Raidou sees Kakashi speaking to the entire pack for the first time. He realizes Kakashi’s social skills have likely been influenced by his exposure to the dogs he grew up with. It was such an interesting revelation to me. This is the part I mean if you’re curious:

What followed was one of the strangest conversations Raidou had ever witnessed. Kakashi, with his economy of speech and movement that seemed so disjointed in human interaction, slotted into place as naturally as breathing. Raidou recognized that questioning head tilt echoed back by listening dogs; the silent, watchful glances that lingered a second beyond comfortable; the predatory edge polished like a fine weapon. Here, Kakashi’s hair and mask just looked like markings, no more notable than that shepherd’s black-tipped ears, or that hound’s white-ticked coat.

It explained a lot.

I really liked seeing Raidou defend Kakashi from Kasumi’s crochety and unjustified remarks. Progress!!! I’m proud.

I’ve probably said it before and I’ll probably say it again, but I always love your dialogue. There’s so much personality and liveliness in it. The banter is so entertaining. Usagi and Ginta especially right now.

I know the mythology the Dodomeki comes from is very different, but there is something about the descriptions of her that make me think a lot of what I felt watching the Netflix the Witcher series. Which might not mean anything to you if you haven’t seen it. Similarly horrifying and deadly and gross. It’s great.

The entire fight scene had my heart pounding. It was so intense and fast-paced. So many close calls and how fast she was was so terrifying. We just saw Kakashi with his sharingan so fast he was able to split a lightning strike in half, yet she’s so fast he can’t even hope to keep up. Fuck.

Abe had to chase him nervously around, attending to whatever bits of Jiraiya’s face he could reach, until the medic finally lost his temper and ordered Jiraiya to sit. 

I loved this.

I don’t have anything interesting to say about them theorizing about her sickly state, but I am very intrigued. I also love when little bits of real life actual science are incorporated in fantasy like this (ex. the mention of ketosis).

I am still very very worried for Kakashi’s hands. I suspect he won’t get out of this entirely unscathed even after treatment.