#I don’t do that so much anymore (because I replaced it with drinking. whoops)

[isdalinarhot]

you can probably make a pretty good post about how people give Kaladin so much fandom grace and love and all that shit because he Is Relatable (has depression) but doesn’t have Scary Depression (he doesn’t cut, he doesn’t do drugs about it, he keeps his depression a secret and never talks about it with anyone, literally the only self destruction he does is not eat enough and not sleep enough (as opposed to the Bad Depression Symptoms of eating and sleeping too much), he’s an unequivocally good person who has never done anything Unquestionably Bad) and it’s because of those traits that I just. Don’t connect with him at all. The way he experiences chronic depression and the way I experience chronic depression are so fucking different that it’s almost unrecognizable. My fuckbrains are more like your Moashes and your Dalinars and pretty much every character where half the fandom hates them specifically because of their symptoms

[underscorewriting]

Forgot.

Modern!Ivar Ragnarsson x Reader, Friends!Hvitserk x Reader, Friends!Ubbe x Reader

Warnings: don’t know if it angst, but definitely some fluff ^^

2035 words

The hours passed and still no sign of him. Their anniversary even more coming to an end now. The beautiful satin dress now laying on the bedroom floor, replaced with an oversized shirt and some 'Tangled' shorts. Siting on the couch, watching some romcom movie she couldn't help but feel like an idiot. So many times she waited for him to come home early, after he promised to dine with her. 

Today had been the worst, he arranged a dinner at a fancy restaurant, which honestly was quiet expensive. Sitting there alone she ordered a water, nothing to eat, she wanted to wait for him. Everyone looked at her weird, making her feel anxious and insecure. She was angry with him and even more disappointed than the other times, because it was the first anniversary of their wedding. The most important day in her life, yet it didn't seem to mean to him as much.

While she shoved down some ice cream, her phone rang, with a sign she picked up. "Hvits, I really don't want to talk right now." A chuckle was heard from the other side. "I know, baby. Okay listen, don't be pissed at him, work has really been bothering him a lot lately." Shaking her head she got up, wrapping her arms around herself. "No, Hvitserk. I am pissed, okay? It's our wedding anniversary and I spent so much time getting ready a-and I barely had any time with him at all these past weeks, he's celebrating this by turning off his phone. So sorry if I'm angry with your brother, but I honestly don't care." 

After she hung up, she sat back down, hugging a pillow to her chest. Anger flaming up in the girls stomach as she heard her phone continue to ring. Turning it off she threw it next to her. Turning her attention back to the movie, she couldn't concentrate. It was late, past midnight already and worry started to settle in her stomach. Rolling her eyes she felt annoyed by her own feelings, picking her phone up she turned it back on, now having 17 missed calls from Hvitserk and a few messages. 

'Still haven't heard anything from him :/' One said and her worry grew even bigger. Getting up she paused the movie, walking around the room quietly as she called Ubbe. "Ubbe?" Her voice was tired. "You know I love getting calls from you, sweetheart, but not in the middle of the night." Hearing her sigh, made him sit up straight. "What did he do now?" His voice serious, filled with a threat against his idiot of brother. Shaking her head slightly she chuckled slightly. "Nothing, well it's not important now anyways. I take it you haven't heard anything of him then?" Hope still lingered in her voice as she brushed her hair behind her ear. 

"No, sorry. Do you want me to come over and wait with you? You know I wouldn't mind, you just have to ask." She could hear him get up and quickly told him that he needn't to worry and should go back to bed. After another hour, the sound of keys unlocking the front door made her sit up straight, judging by the many failed attempts she could only guess that he had been drinking. "I am home my beautiful wife!" His crutch sliding out of his hand as he almost fell down. "Whoops" He chuckled and held onto the wall as he made his way into the living room, seeing her sit on the couch with the pillow still against her chest. 

"Naw look at you, so precious!" Ivars voice quiet down once he noticed the angry look on her face. "What's wrong, my love?" As she got up he tried to follow her but almost fell, leaning fully against the wall now, still laughing. "What day is it, Ivar?" Her voice was cold, not looking at him anymore. "Friday, why are you asking stupid questions?" Giggling he walked into the kitchen as he followed her. Now it was her turn to stay silent as she poured him a cup of water and then leaned against the counter watching him carefully. 

Humming Ivar downed the water, looking around in the kitchen with a drunken smile. His eyes stopped on the sticky note, that stuck to the fridge. His smile fading quickly. "7pm at the restaurant, wear the green dress.' Her tired eyes followed his every move. "Fuck, I'm so sorry, princess." Shaking her head she walked to the bedroom, laying down, not having the energy to fight anymore. 

Looking around Ivar walked back to the entrance and picked up his crutch, looking around he couldn't help but groan at how stupid he was to forget. Turning off the lights as he made his way to the bedroom, he took a deep breath, wiping over his face with his free hand. The anger at himself, making him feel less drunk now. "Princess?" He said softly as he walked in, noticing the dress on the floor as he swallowed the lump forming in his throat. No answer. 

"Work has been terrible lately, some of my coworkers wanted to go to some bar. I promise you I thought I wouldn't stay long, but i got way too drunk and forgot, let myself get talked into staying. I know it's not an excuse, but I promise you-" He rambled as he held onto the bed before lowering himself to the ground, crawling to her side and leaning against the bedside table. "You came home, ate and went to bed. You came home, ate and went to bed. Every day for the past three weeks. I spent the day alone and most of the night. Tonight was supposed to be special, but it wasn't." 

She sat up and leaned against the headboard of the bed, pulling her knees to her chest. Heaving himself up onto the bed Ivar placed a hand onto her knee, softly caressing it and sighing in relief when she didn't make a move away. "Do you know how the people looked at me, Ivar? They even laughed and pitied me whenever I said I was waiting, I waited for two hours." Her eyes met his and a cold shiver ran down his spine as he saw how glossy her eyes were. "Oh princess..." He pulled her into his chest and kissed the top of her head over and over again, knowing how bad her anxiety could get. 

"I'm an asshole." She nodded sniffing quietly, making him laugh softly. "I'll take the week off, spend every second of it with you, I promise you." Wiping her eyes she pulled away slightly. "Gods, I promised myself to stay angry at you." Chuckling she snuggled even more into his chest, scrunching her nose as she smelled the still lingering smell of alcohol. "Fuck, you don't even know how angry I am with myself..." He mumbled kissing her forehead as she pulled away. "Ivar, would you mind changing and showering, you stink like a bar." Blushing slightly she looked up to him, seeing him grin down at her playfully as he got up and walked into the bathroom.

Hearing him sing some song made the girl almost fully forget why she was angry. Hearing her phone ring from the bedside table she saw her favorite brother in laws name on it. Picking up she immediately needed to calm him down, telling him how everything was fine and Ivar was now safe at home. "You should call, Hvits. He thinks you're pissed at him, sweetheart." Nodding she sighed softly. "I know. I was in the wrong..." Saying good night he hung up, telling her to not be to harsh on Ivar. A feeling of worry was settled in her stomach, why did everyone tell her that? 

After a quick videocall with Hvitserk, she decided to quietly walk into the bathroom, the steam of the hot shower her husband was taking filled the room. "Ivar..?" She sat down on the closed toiled seat. "Mhm?" His voice sounding sleepy already as he pulled back the curtain to give her a small tired smile. "Are you okay with showering by yourself, even though I was angry with you doesn't mean I wouldn't help..." She felt bad for not thinking about the danger of him slipping in the shower earlier. "No no, it's fine. The shower seat we bought is really helpful, princess. Somethings bothering you, what is it?"

His blue eyes filled with worry as she got up walking over to him, running her hand gently through his dripping wet hair. "What is up with you lately..? You haven't fully been here for weeks now, talk to me." Closing his eyes Ivar leaned into her touch and sighed deeply. "I lose control again. I'm starting to feel this anger again at everything, work helps me focus on something else." Nodding she kissed his forehead softly. "Ivar, I am supposed to be the place where you feel safe, I can't be that if you push me away or never come home. I love you, with all your flaws, just like you deal with my anxiety." 

Opening his eyes again he felt like his mind was clear, like everything he needed was her assurance that all of this, his anger, didn't matter. All that mattered was them, right now. "I'm really sorry for tonight, princess. I didn't mean to forget. I am the worst husband." Chuckling softly she kissed the corner of his lips, smiling against him. "You're still in the tutorial, my love, wait till the real stuff starts." A look of pure terror on his face as she pulled away, making her giggle quietly, picking up the towel and pushing the curtain away.

"There's gonna be more?!" His voice louder than he meant it to be, only causing for the girl to laugh more as she helped him out of the shower into a pair of sweatpants, leaving a kiss on his hip bone, making him hiss as he pulled her up into a kiss. "I'm ready to deal with more husband duty." His voice low as he whispered against her lips. "Fuck I'd do anything for you." His voice now desperate as she pulled away raising an eyebrow playfully.

"Mhm, except coming to our anniversary dinner, hm?" Groaning he followed her. "You're a mean woman." Turning around to him she sat down on the bed shaking her head with an innocent smile. "If I would be evil, Mr. Lothbrok, I'd have you sleep on the couch for what you pulled today." With a dramatic sigh Ivar let himself fall onto the bed next to her.

"And we both know, Mrs. Lothbrok, that in the middle of the night I would hear your, somehow, tiny fucking feet walk into the living room, hugging my pillow to your chest and asking me to come back to bed, since, and I quote, you 'can't sleep without your so comfy boyfriend' sorry now husband 'by your side and need my warmth to keep alive otherwise you might die', so sorry to break it to you, but you would suffer more than me." Huffing the girl laid down, pouting as she hugged her pillow. A yelp escaping her as he pulled into his chest, kissing the back of her neck softly, just to make her giggle loudly. The sound of her laughter filling his heart with an overwhelming feeling of warmth and love.

"I think I'd fully go insane if it weren't for you, princess." Smiling she turned around, resting her head on his chest. "Really? You're not already insane?" As he pinched her side she couldn't help but feel giddy as she tried not to laugh, not wanting to push his ego even more than needed. "How nice of you." He said in a teasing tone as she stuck her tongue out at him, causing him to roll his eyes. "Mhm, I'm probably the nicest woman you'll ever get." She said playfully, nodding overdramatically, he couldn't help but admire her. 

"Don't think I'd want any other woman, honestly."He mumbled quietly as he watched her get comfortable on his chest, feeling her breathing slow down.

[rhaenyraisadyke]

It's been a year! Transcript: 8/3/21 Here is also a google doc of the transcript if that is easier to read!

*Starts out with happy birthday on a guitar playing*

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthdayyyy to meee, Happy Birthday to me

*Drinks a swig of alcohol*

Ah. Yeah it’s my birthday today, which um seems odd, it doesn't feel like i've been here that long… but I have. Cheers everyone uh. I realise I haven't really done much in a while.

I woke up this morning, rolled out of bed, put out this cake I made three months ago and uh, that's kind of been it, but yeah… I don’t think I’ve left this room in 80 days. About 80 days… How long is 80 days? I- I- that's a lot of months… that's been a long time… Also my vision just went black, I’ve been drinking a lot, um this is that possibly catching up with me um please return vision, I’d really like for it to be back, well I can hear things so at least i'm not deaf ya know? The lord has kept my hearing but I am blind, no um yep there we go.

I decided to get dressed up as well. I figured that would be nice, ya know? I’m pretty sure I was part of them back when I joined, so.. .I don't know if it felt like it made sense to dress up again. Um, fucking hell, I have not cleaned. *sighs* I’ll be honest, in the time I was gone, not very… not very much has happened, uh, it turns out you need customers to support a hotel, and I don’t know about you guys but I haven't seen one on this place for a pretty long while. So uh, basically what I’m saying is… the big jack manifold hasn't been going too hot, god, you don’t provide these guys with food for eighty days and they all go bones and evil.

LEAVE out you bard, you-

The point is, very little has been done here for quite awhile, and um I haven't been outside or seen anyone, and I- I didn't’ finish the pub. Um, you may be asking me, “but jack wasn't that the only thing you were working towards? I know but with the failure of the hotel, I kind of realised that again pubs also rely on customers and the very limited people on this server, as we can all see it really ah um, well it didn’t seem very fruitful. So um, we're kinda just here, living here rent free ever since we claimed this place… I actually don’t know who pays the rent.. Maybe Tommy still does um. I Don't know- anyway since I’ve been here for a year and I haven't really looked around in three months, I thought we would go and look around at everything that we once saw, you know?

I must admit the investment of the alcohol from the pub has been the only thing keeping-.. I shouldn't say that, let's not speak about that part. Yeah it turns out that this place, look I haven't been outside in eighty days and I think maybe since I’ve been here for a year I can go back and have a look around at everything. And um as I said I dressed up for the occasion, so um you know… lets see what's changed hmmm?

Anyway let's walk around shall we? Well this didn’t change, we still got mcpuffys here. Hehe, no one noticed my balls sign hehe, no one noticed, I forgot about this, no one noticed I replaced whatever the original one was with balls in hope they wouldn't notice and they didn't. Ahh that's good, I like that. Anyway, there's the duck and Ponk’s tower that seem pretty much the same.

This looks different, this was a hole.. Who are you? Alright? You know we are the only two people on the server right now? (talking to shroud) This basically means we gotta become friends. So.. tell me about yourself.. Sir? Madam? Shroud, alright. Oh Ohhh I stole some of these! Did I ever give them back? Whoops, oh well. Ahh, it's been quiet without him ya know tommy. I’ll be honest, theres been very little to do, with him gone, um, the fuck did ninjas house go? Why does it look like a very small mcdonalds?

Right, this tower, this seems pretty much the same. Does the sewer still exist? Hm oh wait does it not? What ohh no what happened to the sewers? Aw, there was a whole sewer system out there one time and oh wow. Why is there no longer a sewer there? Wait oH OH it is down here!

One of the first things I remember is me tommy and tubbo and quackity, before he even joined and was still in juvy we, hehe, we did a little heist on everyone and we stole the poo machines and stole everything and then we had a little room, and it was here and we stole the phantom membranes. It was a good time, it was a good time, I liked that and then ah there had only been one war. It's crazy to think there's been more, I thought we’d figure it out the first time, you know? It was fun. And we were called the beatles. Either way yeah.

Why the fuck is half of this place beatroots? Why are half of these beetroots and the other half potatoes? Why is it all farm?? Why? Why is it beats? Wait where did gay target go? Why is there just a beacon here? At least there's huts pizza. Employee of the first two days, of dunderbeatlin… the fuck is dunderbeatlin? What's this? Why are there new things? I know it's been eighty days but why?

This is the L’manburg museum, bearing in mind I'm dressed like this I should go see it.

Oh! It's like different things. This is like the community house, okay that's cool and that's the egg.. This is a replica it won't hurt you… oh it doesn't it won't actually hurt you. I guess they remade that shit. What even happened with that thing? I remember it tried to possess me once and then I bathed in the holy water and I was good again. Oh wow it's like a map of the whole server and there's egg gunk. And then and then and then here.. Where am I? Oh… is that lmanburg? Where is lmanburg? Oh wait oh yeah yeah wait I forgot…. Oh…. yeah….. Um….heh yeah….

OH its the lmanburg walls! I remember tearing them down and rebuilding them a lot and the hotdog van! Does it have the declaration in it? No it doesn't… It is blue. Ohhh…… I joined the day after this (the final control room) God, it's been a whole year since then… What's this? Wait… I feel like there's missing lines here. I don’t know if sorry, you know? Oh, look here, oh it just says i'm sorry. (erets apology book) I’m not all that sure that sorry quite cuts that. What's this? Oh this looks unfinished. Oh here's a map of old lmanburg! OH that's ze house! Before… I burnt it down and decided I wasn't gonna have manifold land anymore.. I miss that, I miss lmanburg.

It was a lot easier to dream when we were friends. Everyone feels so distant now but maybe that's because I haven't seen them, maybe that didn't help I mean no one came to say hi to me. Oh, oh, my main takeaway was that, wait it's not glass anymore, it's like a cavern, it was glass the last time I was there, it's changed since I was here to remember what happened… Why does it look like this? Hmm I don't know. Ah this was my cove, and it was untouched until I burnt it down fuck you.

Oh and theres my secret base that I never finished, FUCK YOU - fuck I hate him, anyway… oh there's the big obsidian bridge, oh isn't this where tommy was exiled? Over this way? I think… That means it was somewhere along here that… wait no it was right here… right? We turned on these stairs, stepped down, and pretty sure it was right here… he dug this.. I don’t think I want to visit this place. I want to go back, this isn't really where I want to be.

Anyway um, I wonder if Snowchester has changed. Lets go visit, okay um, that's weird that's freshly planted. Let's head over to Snowchester its that way. Since when was Tubbos' house back? Didn’t Tommy burnt it down? I swear this got burnt down.. I remember the ruins of it, there was a nether tree farm then in it… anyway…. Let's go check out fundys place. I haven't seen him in FOREVER. The last time I saw him was the last war… the day… the last war… WHY ARE THERE BIG MUSEUM THINGS EVERYWHERE??

Where's fundys house? I built it. I remember building it as a prank and then he liked it and lived in it.. Where's my tower? It was here next to the fox, his little fox hole… my towers were gone, it was definitely here, it was a million percent here and it was right next to it. It was somewhere there was a button it had a button. There was a big sign made out of obsidian…

I don’t know if you can tell, but I’ve been pretty purposeless for the past eight days… what the fuck? That's a HOLE. That's a big ass hole! That wasn't always there?! When did a hole show up?? There's a HOLE in my hotel!! I'm trying not to lose my cool and you know when I go the day that I joined, and the first person that greeted me was tommyinnit and still, I wish, I just wish someone logged in and said “hey jack happy one year” and I try to build them a pub and one of these *drinks a swig of alcohol* I mean at least..

Every time….. Everything here and how come it's all the things I care about that get blown up? Lmanburg… Manifold Land- Well I did manifold land but I was pissed off - Everything I care about on this server gets blown up, or destroyed or taken advantage of or.. Betrays me, that happens a lot. I’m not sure if I wanna be here anymore.

I’m not sure if I want to have anything to do with this… maybe that's it. Maybe that's it. What does this place bring? What does this place bring? Ever since I have been part of the “Dream SMP” Things are given to me that are eventually taken or destroyed, friends leave, DEATH, not everyone has died on the server and come back to life admittedly, I have now but the point is, I AM VERY DEFINITE I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS SERVER ANYMORE… Alright? Almost everyone that has promised me something has turned their back. Almost everyone. The last thing anyone said to me was “Ah when las nevadas comes about, we will have a deal jack.. I’ll make it big” Yeahh.. .he really brought a lot of business. How's Las Nevadas doing?? Because when I HEARD it would be done and bring me customers, surely not another person would give me false hope.

Tubbos was the only one I can trust, Tubbo and Niki. I know Niki has become an anarchist or whatever but at least she's happy, and Tubbo was always kind.

I think Las Nevadas is somewhere over here. Let's go look at how “done it is” and how ready for business they are… Looking PRETTY finished for me. Big sign, big building, nice roads. Looking pretty… done. Pretty ready for a business deal. Isn't that a shocker… Isn't it weird yet again that someone promised me something and it fell through again?

So FUCK IT I don’t wana see Snowchester, I dont want to see anything, My WHOLE TIME on this server has been doing things for other people and fighting peoples wars, right? Keeping up hotels and pubs for people to stay, trying to kill people at worst that wasnt me and fighting for them. I haven't done anything for myself. ANYTHING AT ALL. And I said the hotel was for me and look where it got me- in a room for 80 days and a giant bottle of cider I have yet to finish- so fuck it! I’m not dealing with anyone else anymore. The “DREAM SMP” I’m gonna go out and start my own thing. I’m gonna call it the “Dream SSP” survival single player because I’m not dealing with anyone else anymore. Alright?

The day Tommy died, I said I was done with manifold land because the only thing it ever stood for was trying to get rid of him, and although it was also about getting back at him, it was about other people, but this time, I have something new in mind, something completely different…

NEW Manifold land will not cater to anyone else, not fight for anyone else, to I don’t know be anything for anyone else really. New Manifold land will stick very strictly to the name and persist of purely Jack Manifold, and I might steal Godzilla back from Tubbo (his arctic fox). Because as much as I said Niki was kind and Tubbo was kind, where they been the past 80 days? No one came to the hotel. No one came looking for me to which point, I say I’m gonna find myself my own little place. I’m just gonna live. I’m gonna do what I want, the only thing is, I need to find an area of my own, we need to travel. So let's get moving hmm?

[hookingminor]

three lessons (final) - mat barzal

a/n: here is part 3 and the last installment of the series! I know it’s short but it kinda felt weird titling it “three lessons” and making it more than 3 parts so I'm just ending it here lmao please lmk your thoughts and comments I hope u all enjoyed this

word count: 4k

warnings (18+): loss of virginity, smut

PART ONE / PART TWO

-

Mat didn’t call or text you for two weeks. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. He did text you, but it was only to brush you off and make excuses every time regarding why he couldn’t see you.

In hindsight, Mat knew it was a terrible idea. Even now, intrinsically, he knew it was a terrible idea. But men were not known to be logical, and Mat was no exception.

So, he did the only thing he could think of: he ignored you altogether. Complete radio silence for two weeks.

The thing with ignoring you was that it gave him all the time in the world to think. He tried formulating ideas in his mind about how to ask you out, but every one seemed corny.

He contemplated just asking you out, but the threat of rejection scared him too much from pursuing that. He wondered if he should talk to your brother first, but Mat didn’t know how he was going to explain to his captain that he’d secretly been sleeping with his younger sister and now wanted to ask her on a date. That seemed like a recipe for disaster and a sure way to get his ass kicked. And lastly, he also considered just lying to you about your sexual skills just so he’d have a reason to keep seeing you. That one, however, risked offending you, and the last thing he wanted was to make you feel insecure or embarrassed.

Along with pondering about how to hang out with you outside the context of sex, he also thought about being with you within it.

Mat thought long and hard about what he wanted to do during your last time together if he was only given one more opportunity. Many of his thoughts included your hot, wet mouth wrapped around him, a fantasy that he had gotten himself off to more than he’d like to admit. Other thoughts included him taking you from behind, maybe pressed against his wall, or even bent over his couch.

Frankly, there were just too many things Mat wanted to do to you, but he knew he didn’t have much time left. And that was why he was relying on his own charm to win you over so he didn’t have to choose what he wanted to do.

This internal debate raged on inside his head for two weeks, and Mat still didn’t have a clue about how to carry on. On one side, if he came off too strong, he risked you pulling away and breaking things off. On the other side, if he strung you along, he feared you’d only see him as a casual hookup. The last one he was able to bounce off of, but he didn’t want to hide his feelings.

Mat liked to be straightforward with the people he slept with, and sleeping with you while also hoping for more wasn’t straightforward.

And it’s not like he could go to anyone for advice, which he desperately needed right now.

You contacted him a few times to follow up and see when he’d next be available, but it was clear he was either very busy outside of hockey or he didn’t want to see you. Your heart dropped a little when you thought about the latter because you really thought you had a good time together. But maybe that was all in your head and he experienced something completely different.

You hadn’t expected your first time having sex would be phenomenal to him, but you at least thought it would be tolerable. See? This is why you needed the help. You were never going to get good at sex if you didn’t even have someone to have sex with.

After his last rejection, this time saying his family was coming into town, you decided to drop the subject. You weren’t going to beg him for sex, and if he didn’t want to see you, he didn’t want to see you.

So why were you upset at the fact he was ignoring you?

You tried your hardest to push the negative thoughts to the back of your mind. He’d served his purpose and could move on with his life for all you cared. You could be mature about this. You could let it go and continue with business as usual.

But, you also felt the need to pick yourself up a little bit, which is why you decided on a girl’s night out. If Mat wouldn’t sleep with you anymore, you would find someone who would. You just hoped the alcohol would make up for the fact that you didn’t know what you were doing.

Was it a smart choice? No, but you stopped making smart decisions when you asked Mat to help you. What was one more bad choice?

You dragged your roommate from her studying to force her out with you. It was out of character for you to be so excited for a night out, but even though she was skeptical, she didn’t question your intentions.

Dressing yourself to the nines, you perfected every aspect of your look. Even if nothing happened from tonight, you wanted to make it count. After taking a few selfies, making sure to post them to your story, you ordered a car to take you to the club.

“Are you going to tell me what this is all about?” Your roommate asked as you adjusted your boobs in your dress.

“Do you really want to know?” You questioned back, knowing well she wasn’t one to talk about feelings.

“Not really. I don’t feel like playing therapist tonight, but it’s my roomie duty to ask at least,” she shrugged, slipping on a pair of boots.

“Then don’t worry about it. Let’s just focus on getting drunk,” you replied with a wide smile. She gave you an eye roll back but didn’t argue.

-

The second Mat stepped into the club, he knew something was off. He wasn’t sure, but the air around him felt charged with something… he just didn’t know what.

Less than ten minutes later, he figured out what it was. It was you.

He spotted you on the dance floor from his booth dancing seductively with your friend. Mat did a double-take, not actually sure if it was you or if the two weeks without you was finally playing tricks on his mind. He blinked once, twice, three times before he registered it was you.

“Already got your eye on someone, Barzy?” His friend asked with a chuckle, nudging Mat’s side with his elbow. Mat tore his gaze away from you quickly, not realizing he had been staring for so long.

Mat was thankful he was out with some friends rather than his teammates because he would’ve been seared on sight if someone saw him ogling you. Still, he didn’t want to take the chance any of them would recognize you.

“Nah, just looking around,” he said, laughing off the awkwardness.

Mat didn’t dare look back at the dance floor despite how badly he really wanted to. The last thing he needed was his friends chirping him about a woman this early on in the night, especially when that woman was you.

He waited about five minutes and for the drinks to arrive, the guys's attention focused on the beers instead of Mat, before he glanced back.

He found you instantly, but the lustful shock he felt initially was replaced with jealousy and resentment when he saw you were no longer dancing alone. His eyes focused on the pair of hands that were gripping your hips, only a few centimeters from your ass.

Mat tried to suppress the roiling feeling in his stomach when he saw you laugh at something the stranger whispered in your ear. His grip around the beer bottle tightened and he took a long swig, forcing himself to turn his attention back towards the table before it got suspicious.

His friends were talking about the latest Knicks game, but every word they said was going in one ear and out the other. The only thing Mat could think about was how you were less than twenty-five feet away dancing with someone that wasn’t him, how you were laughing with someone that wasn’t him, how you were letting someone touch you that wasn’t him.

He risked another look but regretted it instantly when he saw the same guy was still there.

“Alright, what’s up with you, Barz?” Someone called from the table. He whipped his head back to see who addressed him, finding all of his friends staring at him expectantly.

“Nothing. Just thought I saw someone I knew,” he brushed off casually, “What were we talking about?”

“We were talking about the game,” his friend said, putting emphasis on the ‘we,’ “You were staring at that little thing over there in the tight jeans. So who is she?”

“Just someone I know,” he muttered, taking another sip of his beer.

“You wanna go talk to her? Should we invite her over here?” His friend offered.

“No,” Mat said a little too quickly He closed his eyes in defeat, realizing he’d just given his friends exactly what they wanted.

“Is the infamous Mat Barzal jealous?” A crowd of ‘ooh’s sounded around the table. Mat flattened them all with a glare, but the smirks didn’t fall.

“Just go get her, Mat,” one of the guys said after a moment, “You’re no use to us being pissy all night.” The other guys nodded their agreement, gesturing for him to leave.

“Fine. You’re all assholes anyway,” Mat grumbled reluctantly. He set his nearly empty beer back on the table before pushing himself out of the booth, a chorus of whoops following him as he threaded his way through the crowded dance floor over to you.

Mat found you easily as he hadn’t taken his eyes off you the entire night. He walked up next to the guy who you were currently gyrating against and put a strong hand on his shoulder.

“Show’s over, buddy. Get moving,” Mat yelled over the music, nudging his head towards the door. The stranger turned to give him a funny look, but he quickly backed down when he saw how much space Mat took up. Mat wasn’t in the mood to play games right now, and the guy easily picked up on that.

You turned your head around when you felt the body you’d been dancing with for the past twenty minutes move. Your waist wasn’t unoccupied for long, a pair of hands quickly replacing the ones you’d lost.

“Mat?” You asked in confusion, stopping your dancing to fully face him. Mat kept your body close, though, hands dropping to rest on your ass.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, bending down to say it into your ear.

“I was having a good time,” you replied, annoyed at the way he just cock blocked you.

“With that guy? No you weren’t,” he said confidently.

“I was, actually. I have to talk to someone since you’ve clearly been ignoring me,” you said with an eye roll. He ignored the jab you threw at him.

“It didn’t look like you were doing a lot of talking.”

“I’m surprised you even know what talking is considering how little of it you do,” you snapped, pulling out of his hold.

Mat didn’t let you slip out of his reach, though, hand grabbing your wrist before you could get too far. He knew you were about two seconds from walking away from him, probably for good.

“Then how about we go back to my apartment and talk,” he said impulsively, almost on the verge of begging.

“Now you want to talk?” You retorted, crossing your arms.

“Or we can not talk?” He suggested, hoping the smirk he gave conveyed more than what he said.

“Final lesson?” You propositioned, raising a brow. Mat’s features fell quickly as his heart rate picked up. He didn’t plan on a final lesson, at least not right now, but he knew if you left tonight the odds he saw you again were slim.

“I didn’t really have anything planned yet,” he recovered quickly, “but tonight can be a free pass…”

“So not a lesson?” You countered.

“Oh, it’s a lesson,” he explained, “Just not our last one.”

“You’re playing with fire here...,” you trailed off, faking contemplation as you considered his offer. You knew the second he asked, you were going to say yes. Despite the irritation at the fact he was acting like nothing was wrong, your libido had a mind of its own as it remembered the last time his tongue was on you.

“Trust me, I know,” Mat chuckled, bringing your body into his once again.

“Take me home then, Barzal.”

Mat was already leading you towards the entrance before you finished your sentence.

-

You were pushing Mat backwards towards the couch when you stumbled through his front door. Your hands flew up to push the jean jacket off his shoulders as you both kicked off your shoes in the doorway. He never broke the kiss as the back of his calves hit the couch.

Mat plopped down on the cushions, hands guiding you to straddle his lap. Your fingers gripped the back of his neck as you deepened the kiss and entangled your tongue with his. You gently rocked your hips against his, feeling him harden beneath you. His hand squeezed your ass through your jeans as he audibly groaned into your mouth.

“How much have you had to drink tonight?” Mat breathed out when you pulled back and began pressing kisses against his neck.

“I stopped drinking like two hours ago,” you said into his ear, nipping at the skin.

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure before…” he said, ending the sentence in a groan when you sucked harshly at his throat.

“Before what?” You asked, pulling back to look him in the eyes.

Mat’s eyes darkened as he bit his lip contemplatively, bringing his hand up to drag his thumb over your bottom lip.

“Get on your knees,” he stated, moving his hand to cup your cheek.

Your eyes lit up at his order, a sly smirk appearing on your lips. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t looking forward to eventually getting him in your mouth, and the day had finally come.

Eagerly, you shimmied your body off his, lowering yourself onto your knees in front of him. Mat sat forward a little bit and reached down to grab the hem of your shirt. He lifted it over your body with ease, tossing it somewhere off to the side. You looked up at him with doe eyes, an innocent look on your face as you awaited further instructions.

“Fuck, don’t give me that look or this will be a very short lesson,” Mat cursed.

You didn’t change your features as you asked your next question.

“What do I do first?”

“Take my pants off,” he commanded.

You did as he said, moving your hands to unbuckle his belt and unzipping his jeans. Mat lifted his hips up slightly to help you tug his pants down, bringing his boxers along with them. You pulled them over his feet and tossed them to join your shirt. His cock sprung out at full length, resting against his abdomen. You leaned back on your heels after you freed him, pausing a moment to take it all in.

“Just a disclaimer, but I’m probably not going to be good at this,” you said with a light laugh, hoping your nervousness wasn’t showing.

“I promise just about anything you do will feel good,” Mat chuckled darkly, “And I’ll guide you through it.”

Mat could tell what he said did little to calm your nerves, so he leaned forward and brought your face closer to his. He gave you a sweet kiss on the lips and brought a hand to run through your hair to make you feel more comfortable.

“Just start slow, okay?” He reassured, pulling back to tug his shirt off. You nodded your head and tentatively brought your hand to grasp his dick.

Slowly, you squeezed your hand gently, twisting up and down as you familiarized yourself with him. Mat’s hands reached out to the back cushions, tightly gripping the fabric as you ran your thumb over his tip. You spread the precum over the head of his dick, bringing your thumb to your lips and sucking it into your mouth.

“Jesus, please do something,” Mat groaned, eyes dark as he watched you lick your thumb. He felt two seconds away from combusting and you hadn’t even put your mouth on him yet.

Taking him back in your hand, you held eye contact as you pressed light kisses on his thighs, slowly moving upwards. When you reached his base, you leaned in and licked a long stripe along the underside of his cock all the way to his tip. Mat’s jaw fell slack, but you didn’t give him time to recover as you closed your lips over the head.

You hollowed your cheeks against him, sucking lightly. His hand darted out to tangle in your hair when you sucked him and a deep moan escaped his lips. Mat’s fingers fisted your hair to softly encourage your timid movements.

“Move your hands with it,” he said breathlessly. You listened to his advice and moved your hand in tandem with your mouth.

Mat pressed your head down a little further, careful to not overwhelm you. You took a couple more inches easily, squeezing what you couldn’t reach at his base. When you drew back around his tip, you sucked your lips together tightly and Mat threw his head back against the couch.

“Holy shit,” Mat stammered, his hips instinctively thrusting up, “I’m close.”

You weren’t confident enough you could swallow your first time, so you didn’t take any chances. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin the moment by trying to be bold. Withdrawing your mouth from his length, you finished jerking him off with your hand until Mat’s abs were tensing in front of you. A few seconds later he was coming, coating your chest as his eyes shut and mouth fell open in a silent gasp.

“Fuck, baby,” Mat moaned when he opened his eyes, taking in your swollen lips and freshly fucked face, “I can’t even express how hot you look right now.” Reaching down and picking you up by your waist, he pulled you back onto his lap as he kissed you deeply.

Not caring about the mess between you, Mat hitched your legs around his waist and carried you to the bedroom.

Tossing you on the bed, Mat rushed to the bathroom to grab a washcloth, lobbing it over to you to clean yourself off. He didn’t wait another second before nestling himself between your legs.

“My turn,” he smirked, attaching his lips to your dripping cunt.

-

Mat woke up the next morning to the sun filtering in through his curtains and the sound of your soft snores. He blinked his eyes open, gaze immediately falling down to the sight of you curled into his side and your head resting on his chest.

He brushed the few strands of your hair that had flown up into his face out of the way. Careful not to wake you, he very gently slid out from your grip and used his hand to place your head on the pillow.

Since he’d completely fucked up every plan he originally had by bringing you home last night, he had to think of a new plan.

Mat threw on a pair of sweatpants quickly and silently left his bedroom, making his way towards the kitchen. He figured he didn’t have much time before you woke up and noticed he was gone, so he had to work fast.

-

You woke up to the smell of something burning. Sitting up swiftly, you panicked, thinking the apartment was somehow on fire before you heard the clang of a pan in the kitchen followed by a loud “Shit!”

Confusion etching across your features, you rolled yourself out of bed and slipped on one of Mat’s shirts before padding out into the hallway.

The sight before you was one of chaos. You turned the corner and walked into a war zone. Mat was hunched over the sink, rinsing out a pan that had steam rising furiously into the air.

“What the hell did you do?” You asked with wide eyes, glancing at the amount of dishes that cluttered the counters. Mat jumped back in surprise, pan falling out of his hand and crashing into the sink.

“You weren’t supposed to be up yet,” he said hurriedly, turning his attention to the pan on the stove that has now started to smoke up.

“Were you trying to make breakfast?” You wondered, laughing at his disheveled state.

“Yes,” he replied, “I’m not very good at cooking.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” you chuckled, “Why were you making breakfast?”

“I was trying to impress you, but I can’t cook to save my life,” he explained, turning off the stove.

“Why were you trying to impress me?” Shit, he hadn’t even realized the slip-up.

“Uh, I was meaning to talk to you about that over breakfast,” he said awkwardly, turning to face you.

“Well, since you burned breakfast why don’t you just talk to me now?” You suggested, taking a seat at the counter.

Mat slowly walked his way over to you, stopping when he was standing across from you, only the counter separating you. His eyes focused on the granite as he cleared his throat.

“I was, uh, I was going to ask you if you maybe wanted to go on a date with me some time?” He asked sheepishly.

“Oh,” you replied, both in confusion and surprise.

“Oh?” He repeated, finally lifting his eyes to meet yours.

“I didn’t expect that, is all,” you stated, a blush rising to your cheeks.

“I know we said no strings, but I really want to take you out and, you know, hang out with you without the sex,” he explained. You raised your eyebrows at him.

“Not that the sex is bad,” he rambled quickly, “The sex is great, fantastic actually, I just think you’re cool and want to get to know you better.”

“Why me?” You asked, reiterating the same question he had when you asked him for his help.

“I don’t know,” he sighed, “There’s just something about you, and I want to figure out what that is. I wanted to ask you out after our last, uh, get together, but I didn’t know how to ask you.”

“Is that why you ignored me?”

“I swear I wasn’t intentionally ignoring you,” he said, “I just wanted a game plan before I saw you again, but then I saw you last night and... yeah.”

Your lips twisted up at his last statement as you reveled in Mat’s sudden shyness. You hadn’t expected him to ever be interested in you like this, but it was a pleasant surprise nonetheless.

Mat watched the smile spread across your face, but he wasn’t quite sure how to take it. It didn’t look like you were about to reject him, but he couldn’t be positive.

“You want to ask me on a date?” You gushed, hopping off your seat and walking towards him.

“Yeah, I do,” he smiled down at you, pulling you closer by your hips.

“How does breakfast right sound?” You offered, reaching up to wrap your hands around his neck.

“Right now sounds perfect,” he answered, leaning down to kiss your lips. You must’ve misread the situation because what Mat wanted to be a sweet peck soon turned heated as you deepened the kiss.

Mat moaned lightly when you pulled back, head leaning forward to chase your lips.

“Wait, we still have to figure out one thing,” you chuckled, turning your face so his lips met your cheek instead.

“What’s that?” He muttered.

“We have to tell my brother,” you giggled.

Mat’s head fell against your shoulder as he let out a disgruntled groan.

“Maybe we can wait a little bit until then?” He teased.

You laughed loudly at the way his brown eyes widened to give you what you assumed was his attempt at a puppy-dog look.

“Yeah, we can wait a while.”

[nikatyler]

𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒐𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒊 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ✨

I wasn’t going to post this yet, in fact, at first I wanted to keep it a secret until these guys are born in the rebooted Raven Legacy, but I couldn’t resist. Thought you’d never see them again, huh?

Zoey and Isaac’s children. 2017//2021. I always say my sims style doesn’t change at all (also, hooray same face syndrome), but it has changed, even if just a little bit.

Anyway, let me introduce you to these guys again, tell you what’s the same and what has changed. And yes I have classes tomorrow, but I also drank too much coffee today so I won’t be able to fall asleep for a while, let’s do this.

𝑪𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆 𝑳𝒚𝒏𝒏 𝑹𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏

The main star, heir of gen 3 ✨

Fellow bi 👉😎👉

Walking stereotype but in a good way. We don’t do the harmful biphobic stereotypes here. (We did them accidentally without realizing we’re falling into a stereotype *cough* Ross dating a million people *cough* but we’re careful now. Why am I talking about myself in plural. But also the reason why Ross dated a million people didn’t come from the fact he’s bi at all, he was just a dick in high school. I didn’t connect those two things in my head.)

More piercings?? I kinda want to give her more piercings

And tattoos! She used to have some small ones, but I have since then deleted the files 🙃

Named after her grandma (Lynn) and great-grandma (Carrie)

She didn’t (and couldn’t) meet either of them...if you know, you know

Probably isn’t going to end up with Chris eventually, sorry Chris, you won’t even exist in the reboot

It’s not Carrie. It’s not Lynn. Use both her names or die. (Her words, not mine.)

Plays a violin. Terribly. On purpose. She’s actually really good though.

She was an entertainer originally but I think that when/if we get to her this time, I’ll try a newer career with her. Maybe I’ll want your input on that later.

She would be such great friends with Tyler. I’m so sad they couldn’t ever meet. She’d 100% be his favourite niece.

*takes notes to mayhaps make that possible in the reboot*

No, she won’t take off the hat

𝑨𝒏 𝑹𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏

They/he

Originally, four years ago, I wanted them to be a trans guy, but I chickened out of it in the last minute because I was worried someone would say he doesn’t look trans enough...I’m sorry about thinking that way. I have learned since then.

He’s using they/he in this version to kinda reflect both who I originally wanted them to be in the legacy and who they were, if that makes any sense.

(yes they’re the sim that was called Anastasia previously but they don’t use it anymore so forget it)

I don’t remember much about him from the original legacy. They liked pirates and worked for a charity shop or something like that? Their girlfriend was an adoptive daughter of Malcolm Landgraab and Caleb Vatore. (thanks MCCC, and yes Caleb really wants to be included in all my legacies in some way, it’s his only goal and purpose in life).

Really close with Carrie Lynn

I changed his skintone because no one in their family has it anymore. Elizabeth had it, but I changed it, so I changed An’s skin as well.

𝑭𝒓𝒆𝒚𝒂 𝑹𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏

Originally, for some reason the game made her thicker than her siblings, and I’m thankful for that because knowing 2017 me I’d be too much of a coward to make a plus sized sim myself.

With that being said, cc creators, could you please make your necklaces work on bigger sims?

I changed her traits but I already don’t remember what I gave her. One of them was from Eco Living.

I remember I originally said something like “she wants to be an architect but she hates maths”. So now she wants to be an architect and she actually doesn’t struggle with maths at all because that makes more sense.

Is she a genius? Are you a genius, Freya? 🤔

I can’t tell you much about her tbh. I have no memory of her left. I even memorized her face wrong whoops.

Hey look it’s midnight and also this post is becoming a trainwreck yay

It’s now 0.30 when I’m rereading this. Yay tomorrow will be fun, I wanna get up at 6am

𝑭𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔 𝑹𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏

Yes it’s Faye but I changed her name and most of her appearance

It’s like when they replaced Flora with Terra in the terrible Winx live action. Minus whitewashing.

I now realize it’s really a Terra situation minus whitewashing here (what’s there to whitewash, Faye was already white), because I also made Frances a bit chubbier. Like they did with Flora/Terra.

(speaking of which I actually adjusted the bodies of all four of them)

I actually made her bit more tan than she used to be! Originally, all four kids took after Isaac, who is rather pale compared to Zoey. I also gave her Zoey’s eyecolour.

I really like the name Frances tbh

She kinda reminds me of that one girl from Mean Girls. Forgot her name. But you know the one.

“Hello LGBTQ community”

Yeah Faye/Frances has always given me big lesbian vibes so...

Again, I was a coward in 2017

She likes pink, sweets, cats and she’s lazy and that’s all I remember about her

We started this post with me saying “let me reintroduce you to these characters” but like to do that I’d have to actually still know something about them

Okay, so...the moral of this post is: don’t make posts when you’ve had too much coffee so you feel effects of that BUT at the same time you’re pretty tired already.

No, jokes aside, I’m really excited to explore these guys again someday.

Now I have to go do my daily writing because I forgot about it and I can’t skip a day and then I swear I’ll go to bed. Note to self, don’t drink that much coffee tomorrow.

[angeldarkness95]

Open Wounds

Summary: You and Loki are friends, but one night while drunk both of you open yourselves up to each other about things that nobody else knows about you... Until tonight.

Warning: flying cusswords and talks of abandonment.

This is my first piece on here so please be gentle and enjoy 🙂

m/n: mother’s name

It was 5 years to the day that Loki lost Frigga, the most important woman in his life. Loki often wanted to be left alone all the time, but especially on the anniversary of her death. You’re invited to the Stark tower because Tony knew you could help Loki; he seemed more aggressive and shouty than usual and everybody else was just getting fed up and annoyed; all their attempts for him to snap out of the funk bit the dust and just made him more pissed off and bitter. 

You arrived at the tower with the fixings for bloody Mary’s (including some Asgardian mead, courtesy of Thor)  and your homemade crab Rangoon's you knew Loki loved very much. You called up Tony so he could let you into the building. “you know Y/n you’re here so often maybe I should make you your own badge so you can come in any time you need without me having to buzz you in” “That would be nice, thank you” You smile to him as the door opens.

“Loki still in his room?” Tony just nods, but before you leave up the stairs to his room he gently grabs your arm and you look up at him. “please be careful y/n, I’m still finding it hard to trust him and I don’t want you to get hurt” you smile again gently “I’ll be okay, I promise” he nods, but still has a worried expression on his face.

You approach Loki’s door, you take a deep breath and knock 

“Go away you mewling quim” he spits out, shamelessly turning you on a bit.

“It’s me, y/n, I come with offerings”

He opens the door, eyes bloodshot with a look of pissed off-ness and agony

“What do you want?” he spits out

“I know you want to be left alone, but I wanted to be here for you tonight” 

his expression softened up a little while keeping his guard up. He opens the door more and beckons you in to close the door. He was reading what looked like an old book about vampires, you set everything down on a table in his room.

“What sort of offerings did you bring y/n”

“I brought freshly made crab Rangoon's and the stuff to make bloody Mary’s” 

“mmm two of my favorite Midgard things” he hummed in approval, but still seeming pissed off

You started making the drinks while Loki was eating. 

“So, how’s your week been?” You ask while sitting down next to him, you look at him, undivided attention while trying to get a read on how he’s feeling.

“Fine” he practically growled at you. You nod and things stay quiet for a while. You decide to turn on some funky music to get into a better mood, maybe even dance with him

“Y/n what are you doing”

“I wanna dance, what does it look like?” You grind on him a bit, he forces a smile, but tries to hide it and turns the music off

“y/n maybe a bit later ok?” You nod sad but understandingly

*5 drinks later*

things get quiet again and he seems to have gone back to his silent thoughts

“Listen, Lo if you ever need someone to talk to I’m always here, and..” before you could say any more he lost it.

*he bangs a fist on the table* 

“HERE IT FUCKING COMES, YOU ONLY WANTED TO BUTTER ME UP SO I’D SPILL MY GUTS, MAYBE EVEN MY HEART OUT TO YOUR PATHETIC ASS... I’M PERFECTLY FINE YOU DAMN QUIM! ACTUALLY, YOU WANNA KNOW THE TRUTH? FIIIIIINE! I HAD THE SHITTIEST UPBRINGING I’VE EVER KNOWN, THE ONLY ONE WHO TRULY UNDERSTOOD ME WAS FRIGGA AND SHE’S DEAD BECAUSE OF ME! I DIDN’T EVEN GET TO GO TO HER FUNERAL, I WAS HARSH AND VILE, MY LAST WORDS TO HER HAUNT ME STILL TO THIS DAY! I SAID THINGS THAT I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO TAKE BACK, I WAS THE WORST SON SHE, OR ANYBODY COULD ASK FOR! AND ANOTHER THING, ODIN WAS RIGHT FOR KEEPING MY IDENTITY HIDDEN OF WHAT I TRULY AM, BECAUSE I AM A FUCKING MONSTER!”

He was so mad his Jotun form temporarily came out for a moment, the sudden outburst shakes you to your core, the usually soft man yelled at you, you knew he would often yell at other people, but never you, until tonight. You’re shaken and your eyes want to tear up because you know that pain all too well.

You stand up to look the man before you, shaking, scared but understanding, your heart breaks after hearing Loki’s last words he had yelled out. You tried to bring your hand to his face, but he dodged the gesture.

“Loki, you are not the only one with a fucked up upbringing”

“Y/n is that supposed to make me feel better?!” he seethed

“No, it’s the goddamn truth” you said, trying to fight back tears and flashbacks as hard as possible, but to no avail. “at least you had a mother that gave a flying fuck about you! I don’t even have that!”

He takes a sharp inhale “then lets see who had a more fucked up upbringing, shall we?” still fuming mad, just more quiet than his yelling a few minutes ago. At this point the drinks starting to wear off for him.

“My birth was a mistake, my own mother didn’t want me, she didn’t even want my dad to know she was in labor so she could lie to him and say that I died or just to be able to leave me to be someone else’s problem, luckily my grandmother, my dad’s mother was notified as soon as m/n was at the hospital in labor, about to give birth to their only child. My dad couldn’t initially be there for my birth because he was about fifty or more miles away, he hauled ass to the point where he got a speeding ticket but was able to be there sometime after.

“Oh boo hoo you you were a mistake, big whoop”

“that’s not even close to the whole story Loki, sit your ass down” you roll your eyes to him. 

“My dad talks m/n into keeping me, despite how she feels towards me, everything is fine for a while, until around the age of three to five years old she decided she’d had enough of me and/ or my father and she snapped. It was late at night, she turned to me and my dad and essentially said she couldn’t do “this” anymore, even I'm not too sure what she meant, but she asked me a question you should never have to ask a child. She asked me if I wanted to stay with my dad or go with her, I chose to stay with my dad and she walked out the front door right in front of us, just left like I didn’t mean a goddamn thing to her.” You could tell Loki was about to interject but you put a finger up to his lips.

“I’m almost done, I promise” you pleaded to him, sorrow coating his expressions.

“years later me, m/n and my dad started working things out, m/n actually wanted to be apart of my life, things were looking up, things were actually ok...” you looked up to pause and see Loki’s expression, for a moment there was hope on his face, but sadly it was gone as quick as it came. “until I turned 9, for some reason m/n stopped wanting to see me, wouldn’t even talk to me or my dad, everybody was puzzled, until the winter came. I had gotten a letter from m/n” you take a shaky breath as you recall what the letter said.

“y/n this will be the last time you ever hear from me. I’m letting you go, you were and continue to be the biggest mistake of my life, I should never have had you, much less taken you home the night you were born, I wish you died so I wouldn’t have had the burden of being your mother. 

“that part always hurt the worst, after my grandma telling me that I did actually almost die the night I was brought into this world." "P.s. leave me the hell alone, I do not wish to be found, especially not by you." "I ripped that letter to shreds, but I still remember every word, every thought and emotion that raced in my head and in my heart, from that day forward I knew I would never be loved, because if my own mother couldn’t even love me, then how could I expect anybody to love me?”

You closed your eyes at the buildup of tears and every emotion that still haunted you from that damned letter, you start to fall when you feel strong hands catch you, you look up to see those gorgeous light blue oceanic eyes that were Loki’s. All the rage that was originally in his eyes had been replaced by sorrow. 

“y/n I had no idea anybody could go through this amount of pain, much less a Midgardian for Odin’s sake! No offense but I thought you Midgardians were so weak but my gods I have no idea how you’ve survived for so long”

“No offense taken” you force a soft smile.

Loki gave you a strong hug, you were probably hugging for a while but it only felt like a minute, you were holding onto each other for as long as either of you needed the other person. a few more minutes and he finally breaks the hug. He proceeded to write, no, scribble something down on a piece of paper “what’re you doing?” You asked with curiousness. 

“I’m giving you my number, any time you need to talk I’m here for you, ok?” He said as he was tearing up. “I don’t care what hour, any time you need me don’t hesitate to call” 

“I will” you say while giving him a sheepish smile as you start heading out of his room.

“Stay for the night?”

You stop in your tracks

“p- pardon?”

He laughs and takes your hands so you're facing him

“Pease, stay the night with me?”

[charincharge]

“You’ve been giving me bedroom eyes for the past half an hour - time to show me what, exactly, was on your mind.” For Nessian 🥰 a very spicy prompt for a very spicy couple 👀 (ps I feel like all the prompts I request are nessian but that’s just bc I just love them so much 😂)

I changed the prompt a litttle. But. I think it’s okay since this is essentially 3k words of porn with a tinyyy bit of plot. I also combined it with my other Nessian prompt: “Come back to me.” I also didn’t tag anyone because I don’t have an ACOTAR tag list? Whoops. Oh well. Hope this eventually finds someone... lol. 

Nesta hates being late. She thinks it’s the rudest thing someone can be. It’s a simple request, to ask that someone show up on time. It shows that you value them. It’s respectful.

Which is why Nesta shows up to check-in a full three hours early to the Summer International Ballroom Invitational. It’s the biggest competition weekend of the year, and she and her partner, Tarquin, have spent the last six months training their asses off for it.

After checking in, Nesta finds a perch at the hotel bar with a good vantage point of check-in. She wants to scope out the competition from afar. She’s familiar with most of the participants, having danced with them for nearly the last decade.

At six PM, the entrants start coming in droves, and a long line forms behind the check in table. Perfect. Nesta sips at her glass of sauvignon blanc and takes note. She first spots the twins, Ianthe and Tamlin, the gloriously blonde and creepily incestuous partners halfway down the line. No competition there. The pair have notably sloppy footwork, despite their obvious flare for the dramatic.

Next, she finds Amren and Varian. Nesta’s brow furrows. She’s a little concerned about them. Amren might be small, but her stage presence is huge. And because of her small stature, the pair always includes incredibly difficult lifts which garner them extra points, unlike Nesta’s tall, willowy frame, which makes lifts an astonishing challenge.

Further back, she spots her little sister and her boyfriend. She would usually drive to competition with Feyre and Rhysand, but… she can’t bear to be in the same room with them anymore.

Nesta takes another sip of her wine. Her life is very different than it was six months ago.

The hours grow later, but Nesta remains in her spot, her eyes glued to check-in. She should be in bed. Her wake up call is at five AM for hair and makeup, but she can’t bring herself to leave. And she knows why. She’s pathetic.  

She hears his boisterous laugh before she sees him. She’d recognize that sound anywhere. Her skin prickles with anticipation as she drains the last of her wine. She looks at her phone. It’s almost eleven PM. Five hours late. But then again, Cassian never cared about respecting anyone’s time. She tugs at the neck of her dress uncomfortably, suddenly wishing she’d gone to bed with everyone else.

She watches as he tosses his head back and slings his arm over his new partner’s shoulders, amused by something she’s said. Everything Nesta knows about the new girl she has learned against her will. She’s brunette and slim and all angles, just like Nesta. Only where Nesta is pale and grey and cold, she’s tanned and brown and warm. Her name is Emerie, and Nesta loathes her.

Nesta orders another drink as Cassian and Emerie head up to their rooms. Or room. Gods, she hopes it’s rooms. She sips it quietly until the bar empties out. At midnight, Nesta finally decides to retire for the night. But first, she checks the ballroom where tomorrow’s competition will be held. She always does it for good luck. It’s a stupid superstition, but she’s done it before every competition. She runs through her dances on the floor the last thing before going to bed.

Her pulse jumps when she realizes that her former partner has beaten her to it. It makes sense. After all, it was both of their tradition.

Cassian struts across the dance floor, his hips swaying to the imaginary music in his head as he practices his rumba.

Nesta leans against the doorway and admires his form. His carriage is perfect, and his footwork is divine. The dance is slow and flirtatious, and Nesta can’t help but remember herself partnered up with him, spinning under his strong arms, braced against his muscular chest. The way he pulled her across the dancefloor was an intimacy she’s never shared with anyone else. Nesta watches him run through his samba and salsa next. He attacks both with precision and presence, and Nesta knows she’s in deep trouble. She can only hope she and Tarquin can place next to him.

Nesta’s about to give up on her run through and call it a night when Cassian’s voice breaks through the silence. “The floor’s all yours, sweetheart.”

He looks up at her, locking his hazel eyes with hers, making her heart stutter.

She strides forward into the light and onto the floor. “Thank you,” she says, attempting to sound as unaffected as possible. As she begins her first dance, she expects Cassian to leave, but instead he sits atop the judges table on the side of the floor to watch her.

Nesta’s blood boils under his watchful gaze. She uses him as a spot for her turns and performs to him – her audience of one. His eyes darken as she continues, and as Nesta does her highest kick, he even bites his lip. Nesta has missed those looks. She feels as if she’s about to combust under his intense scrutiny.

She’s so flustered that halfway through her dance she misses a turn. She never misses a turn. Nesta glares at Cassian, who still sits, staring at her.

“Did the perfect Nesta Archeron just mess up?” he asks, absolutely pleased with himself. Nesta growls and repeats the step. Her ankle buckles and trips over her other foot.

She glares at Cassian. “Can you fucking leave? You’ve been giving me bedroom eyes for the last half an hour, and it’s incredibly distracting.”

Cassian smirks and stands. “As if you weren’t giving them right back, sweetheart.” He approaches her slowly, quirking an eyebrow as he grins. “Wanna show me exactly what was on your mind?”

“No,” Nesta snaps.

“Liar.”

Cassian licks his lips, and Nesta’s gaze unwittingly lowers to it. She’s spellbound by his movements.

He finally reaches her and places his hands on her waist.

“Try it again.”

His hands guide her hips, and she’s able to do the spin easily. He spins her again, and she crashes into his chest. His arms wrap around her waist, holding her steady, and Nesta breathes heavily as she looks into his eyes, laden with desire. After a torturous minute, he finally leans down and captures her mouth in a heated kiss.

Nesta wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him closer. He grabs at her thigh, hitching it over his waist, and Nesta moans into his mouth. She can feel him hard against her center through his loose dance pants, and she’s aching with need for him. Has been aching with need for him for months.

As she wraps her other leg around his waist, he hoists her up against him, his hands kneading into her ass. Her hands grab at his long hair and pull. It must sting, because he pulls away with a hiss and then bites down on her neck, absolutely leaving a mark.

Her back hits a cloth covered table as Cassian drops her across it, tugging her hips so she’s perched on the edge, right against him.

He laps at her collarbone, heated lips dragging across her skin and leaving a wet trail in their wake. She shivers and pulls him closer, rubbing his scruff against her smooth skin.

“Tell me to stop,” he pants into her neck.

“Never,” she whispers.

He doesn’t need more confirmation. He tugs up the skirt of her dress and lowers himself between her thighs. Her legs fall over his shoulders as he kneels to the ground. His tongue teases her through her underwear, slowly licking and nipping at her until she’s a squirming mess.

She lifts her hips up, trying to get closer, needing more friction, but Cassian is just out of reach. He knows exactly how to torture her. Always has. It seems he takes pleasure in it. Her hands move up her dress and grab at her breasts, pinching them, trying to relieve the building tension. Nesta likes to be grabbed and pinched and pulled. This gentle teasing is killing her.

Cassian pulls away, pausing momentarily, and Nesta props herself up to look at him. “Why’d you stop?” she pants, her hands still tugging at her chest.

“I want to see you,” he says, his eyes impossibly dark.

“Oh,” Nesta breathes.

“Take it off,” he commands. “Take it off and show me what you’re doing.”

Nesta nods rapidly. She loves when Cassian starts throwing down commands. She lies back down and lifts her hips first, moving the dress to her waist, and then shimmies the fabric over her head, tossing it to the ground unceremoniously. Her hands immediately return to their spot on her breasts, pinching and pulling them until they just barely hurt.

Cassian lowers his mouth to her stomach and bites at it while his hands pull her underwear down to her ankles. Constrained by the waistband, Nesta can barely spread her legs enough for Cassian to lower his hand to her folds and play with them.

“Yes,” she moans, so grateful to have his hand on her bare skin. Two fingers plunge into her without warning, and Nesta yelps. She grabs at Cassian’s hair, knotting her fingers in it and tugging as hard as she can. He lifts his eyes and grins at her while his fingers pump in and out.

“You like that, sweetheart?”

“Fuck,” Nesta whimpers. “You know I do.”

She writhes beneath him as his fingers keep up a relentless pace inside her. He laces his free hand with hers, which is still pinching at her breast. He replaces her hand with his mouth. Wet heat surrounds her, and she screams when he sucks her nipple between his teeth. Her orgasm overtakes her as she pulses around his curling fingers.

As soon as she’s finished riding it out, Cassian grabs at her hips and flips her over. Her face slams onto the table.

“Shit,” Cassian fumbles with her and lifts her torso back up. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she assures him, propping herself up on her elbows. He kisses her softly on her cheek, so starkly different from the manhandling she’s been receiving. She looks over her shoulder as he pulls down his pants and strokes his erection. She’s missed that thing most of all. Her hips lift in anticipation, her ass out as she’s splayed across the table.

He moves his cock between her folds, and Nesta lowers her arms, relaxing into the table. But he sheaths himself inside her with a forceful thrust, Cassian grabs her ponytail and pulls. Hard. She arches her back up and moans loudly as he wraps her hair around his hand, tugging at her hair with each push of his hips. She knows this is going to be fast. For both of them.

“Fuck, Nes,” he pants. “Gods, baby, I missed you so much.” His free hand claws at her hip, helping her ride him.

Her eyes flutter shut as she pushes back harder against his cock, thick and perfect, moving inside her.

“I missed you, too,” she admits over the sound of their slapping skin.

He tugs on her hair harder, lifting her chest off the table, and she can feel his lips press between her shoulder blades. His mouth hovers there, puffing breaths of hot air onto her sweaty skin, and his pace starts to increase.

His hand finally releases her hair but moves to her neck. She gasps at the feeling, a surge of arousal shooting through her, and he groans loudly. She reaches back and moves his hand from her hip to wrap around her front and rub between her legs.

“Almost,” she breathes. “Almost.”

He pounds into her from behind, and her hips crash against the side of the table as his fingers rub circles into her wet clit. His fingers slip, around and around, until she can’t fight it anymore. She screams out his name as she comes onto his cock, clenching down until her body is completely spent.

Cassian picks up his pace, moving faster and faster until he suddenly pulls out of her. She can hear his hand working his cock behind her, and she wants to move and help him, she really does, but she thinks if she tries to stand, her legs might give out. She hears Cassian grunt loudly as drops of wetness hit her back.

She hears him shuffling around, she assumes to clean her off, but instead she hears the click of a photo being taken. She snorts.

“Did you just photograph my naked ass with your cum on my back?”

“No…?” he says, and she glares at him over her shoulder.

“Cassian, delete that right now.”

“In a minute,” he says, and she sighs and lowers herself to the table again. He grabs the edge of the tablecloth and wipes her down, and finally helps her stand.

She reaches for her dress and pulls it over her head as Cassian pulls up his pants. They stand there staring at each other, breathing heavily, wondering what happens next.

“I really do miss you, Nes,” he says, and Nesta nods.

“You were the one who left,” Nesta snaps, annoyed that he can so easily revert to how they were.

Cassian’s eyes are sad when he admits, “I thought you’d come, too.”

“And leave my family for yours?”

“You are my family,” Cassian says. “Come back to me.”

Nesta’s heart pangs. She should have followed Cassian when he moved back to Illyria. And staring at him, she’s starting to be unable to remember any of the reasons why she didn’t.

“It’s late, and we have a competition in the morning,” she says instead. “Let’s sleep on it.”

He wraps his arm around her waist and smiles. “Together?”

She rolls her eyes but doesn’t dispute it. She leads him back up to her room where they spend the rest of the night with their limbs tangled together. Nesta wakes with her heart on his chest and knows that after this weekend, she won’t be letting him out of her sight again.

[miraculouscontent]

Ask Explosion #6

Asks answering previous posts:

Oh, okay! I’m glad, thank you!

(the post this anon is referring to)

Ohhhh.

And fjbgjnfkjgfg thanks >////<

I don’t think there’s much wrong with liking the design itself; I prefer Riposte personally, but that’s just me.

The best way I could put the “insensitive” part (I’m sort of dumb when it comes to this stuff and I talked about it before when I was working on that 3D model of Marinette) is that it’s so heavy on Japanese. I mean, they already have Kagami constantly wear what looks like a school uniform and Tomoe is just like--super heavy Japanese. It’s like the show doesn’t know how to balance “can’t tell at all” (with Marinette) and then “okay this is WAY strong” (with Kagami+Tomoe+Kung Food).

That makes sense! I guess the only problem then would be that the kwami can’t really act as mentors of any kind because “you’re saying this just because that’s all you can say” (like Sass, hypothetically, always willing to give someone a second chance, no matter what; I know that’s not what his power specifically entails but it’s just an example).

I would however definitely lean towards kwami being very strict in one alignment, so Tikki would always be on the path of pure good and thus never want to take/steal/whatever, whereas Plagg is always on the path of “bad,” but there are times where Marinette will have to ignore Tikki while Adrien will have to listen to Plagg.

And yeah, the guardians existing and the kwami not having so much control... not a huge fan.

Someone asked about Chat Noir’s flirting and he claimed that it was “on purpose” (you know, while throwing episodes like “Felix” at us but okay) and then he followed up with this:

There was also this other comment he made a while back when someone tried to make a suggestion to him:

Except he’s missing the point completely. When he talks about constructive criticism, he acts like it doesn’t matter, especially not anymore now that they’re working on Seasons 4 and 5:

(I mean, personally, I don’t think I need “engineering knowledge” to know when a rollercoaster I’d ridden nearly tossed the cart off the tracks and had questionable design decisions, but you do you, Astruc.)

Yes, constructive criticism is mainly for seeing a product improve, but that doesn’t mean ignoring it because, “well you haven’t seen the full product.”

“Animaestro” even has a bit of commentary on it:

Ladybug: What's with that trailer too? I am not scared of cats, at all.

Animaestro: You haven't even seen the movie and you're already slamming it?

Chat Noir: He does have a point, you know.

Ladybug: I wasn't slamming it. It's called constructive criticism!

(firstly, of course Chat Noir bows to Astruc on that one because he’s Astruc’s sunshine boy, ugh)

Ignoring the fact that a movie/printed book is usually a “full product,” criticism is also to say “you did this thing wrong, don’t do this in the future.” It doesn’t have to be referring strictly to the show. It’s just, “you did this thing wrong and here’s why, try to catch yourself if you accidentally do it again in the future, whether in what you’re working on now or otherwise.”

(He’s also talked about “unsolicited critique” before and I don’t know what that means? Like, dude, this isn’t someone’s fanfiction where I’d actually agree that you can’t go after them for their work. This is professional work.)

Anyway, remember “Chameleon”? When everyone saw the trailer and absolutely flipped out over it, then there were people who were like, “Wait for the full episode!!”?

Guess what? The full episode came out and people were either just as mad or even madder than before.

Astruc wants to have his cake and eat it to. He wants to say that his episodes are “stand-alone,” and that the order isn’t that important, but when people start pointing out issues, it becomes, “No! You have to wait for the rest of the episodes to come out!” and when people do that, it’s gonna be like, “Well, we already did the whole show so it’s not like I can change anything. *shrug*”

Also, just blaming it on “the industry” when everything else has been exhausted:

(He’s literally brought up before that the New York special was meant to have subplots about other characters, so it’s not like he can never say anything when something didn’t fit the “original vision”; I’m not asking him to get on his knees and say he’s sorry - plus, I do recognize that a lot of influence comes from the industry and people like Jeremy - but I expect a little more than the “whoops” he gave when people pointed out that “Weredad” contradicted his statement on Miraculous Ladybug.)

I think the reason people see it the way they do is because of Fu’s line in “Robostus” seems to imply the exact opposite thing happening.

Master Fu: Universe must always stay in balance. For every action, there is a reaction. For every wish, a price to pay in return. Had your robotic friend asked to become a real boy, someone would have lost his humanity in return.

New Asks:

Marigami is acceptable. I’m not crazy about it but it’s likable enough.

Lukadrien though... no, absolutely not. On a conceptual level, because it’s such a slap in the face for Marinette, and on a fanon level, because most of the jokes around it is Luka going to Marinette like he’s about to ask her out and then just asks for Adrien’s details. It’s just... ugh. I hate it (throwing Marinette into the ship still doesn’t help for me though because I’m not into the love square).

Bi erasure is my least favorite thing.

And yeah, it’s like--they set the love square ship(s?) out onto the water, then the Lukanette ship later with the plan to either sink it or just kinda... return it to the harbor if they don’t make a huge fuss about it?

Meanwhile, the love square ship has been in piece this whole time, and instead of letting it sink, they put it on a raft to keep it floating.

Depends.

In LadyBugOut? It’s already written and I haven’t posted it.

For canon? Like, Marinette being super disappointed at her view of Adrien being shattered or? :P

That’s accurate. I dislike about a fourth-ish of Season 1,then about half-ish of Season 2, then like... almost all of Season 3.

So we’ll just have to see what happens in Season 4.

I like Adrimi, but I’m not crazy about it and I don’t really write for it unless Lukanette is already the main ship (making Adrimi just a background ship). Adrien tends to dismiss Kagami a lot (like in “Frozer” and then “Miracle Queen” with him not committing) and I don’t want to see Kagami hurting like that (I agree with the anon completely that Adrien is more at fault than she is). They’re both emotionally-stunted so I usually have them wait it out or something to have them get together.

My ideal endgame is Lukanette while Adrimi is more like “let’s wait, let’s work on ourselves (especially Adrien; Kagami at least has on firm crush and wants to commit to it), and we’ll see where we go down the line.”

I don’t know if they really have the guts to arrest Gabriel. I also think that Lila might pick up the butterfly at the end of Season 5 or something after she’s been “dealt with.”

Chloe also is the mayor’s daughter so even if the law was that strict on teens, nothing would happen to her unless Andre got replaced.

Big yikes.

Maybe that the thing forcing Marinette away from Adrien and causing things to go wrong is the part of the curse trying to prevent the ladybug and cat miraculous from coming together?

So, close enough to be attracted and want to work together, but forcing the ladybug away from the cat to prevent the miraculouses from being used to make a wish?

I CHOKED ON MY DRINK.

ugh

ugh

ugggggggh

I’m 100% sure that Marinette wouldn’t be as uncomfortable around Adrien if Alya hadn’t constantly intervened. She’s the enabler of both Marinette’s anxiety and her crush on Adrien.

I went back and looked at the scene and it does kinda look like it, yes, because it basically goes from the intersection Marinette is in to another intersection that looks very, extremely similar and I don’t see Marinette in that intersection.

It was just a really, really bad transition. I remember being thrown off for a second too so I don’t blame you, anon.

I think Bob Roth’s intent was to scare Marinette away from showing that proof? He probably knows very well that Marinette has all the evidence she needs to make a case and already had a story planned for the press about how “the young talents they found didn’t measure up and the people deserved better.”

He just needed enough pressure on them for them to believe that he had enough authority to silence them.

And then Silencer tried to silence him instead. :3

I don’t think Marinette’s relationship with her parents would change too much. Like, they already let her just go out whenever she wants which obviously Plagg approves off, although Marinette might become more numb to the idea of being grounded because Plagg just teaches her, “hey lol Ladybug isn’t grounded tho,” so Marinette sneaks out all the time.

Yeah, Tikki would probably justify Gabriel’s behavior, and she wouldn’t really be able to get on his case for flirting as Mister Bug because she’s not aware of it.

lol it helps no one to have Tikki I guess.

Adrien overall and then honorable mention to Alya for Winny’s comment about her being Marinette’s conscience (which is probably why they almost never nail Alya for stuff she does).

KHNJFDNGFD THE LUKANETTE QUEEN MONIKER RETURNS >///<

And ugh, the absolute level of bias in that. Even if the video was made in, like, Season 2 (don’t know, didn’t see it), Season 2 still gives examples of why Adrienette isn’t making Marinette happy at all (and has some of the love square failings too).

The name and the fact that they gave it that name tells me everything I need to know.

Goodness gracious.

Yeah, people can talk about character’s flaws. I mean, we talk a lot here about Marinette’s struggles in getting over Adrien (partly brought on by a lot of outside factors but still).

Also, sure, Luka is a “pushover” because he’s one of the few characters who understands Marinette’s tunnel vision and isn’t bothered by it, okay. :P (Interesting that the topic of Chat’s entitlement towards Ladybug but Luka respecting her choices and just enjoying being around her makes him her punching bag).

Every time I hear, “Adrien needs more spotlight!!!” I lose a part of my soul. How people can’t see that Marinette is the show’s true punching bag is beyond me.

[mintchochipkookie]

Hi, Banshee!! 💜💜

How about 32, 39, 40, and 49 for the ask game?

Hi Everrrr! Hope you’re having a great day and also I loved CIY!!! ❤️✨

32. If you could dye your hair any colour, regardless of how you think it would look, what colour would you choose? Honestly, I’ve been thinking about this a lot for the past year. I’ve never dyed my hair or gotten highlights or anything and I kinda want to do something fun. (But realistically I can’t anytime soon because PROFESSIONALISM.) I thinkkkk maybe like a really dark purple or blue???? I just think a colour like that would also be very unexpected for me and I love shocking people. Gotta keep ‘em on their toes, can’t let them think they have me figured out.

39. What was the best part of your day today? Hmmm I haven’t done anything except scroll through Tumblr and do my hw which I am currently definitely not avoiding by answering this what are you talking about so not exactly eventful. I do enjoy getting asks and talking to you guys on here tho so that’s always really nice. Since yesterday was more fun, I’ll say that my favourite part of that was exploring the city a lil more and buying more books that I don’t need cuz I can’t keep up with my ever-growing tbr pile.

40. What’s your favourite kind of tree? I wish I had a better answer for you omg but I don’t know shit about trees. I’ll just go with palm/coconut trees cuz I grew up in a coastal city, so it’s familiar and comforting.

49. What’s your favorite thing to do when it’s raining? Now THIS is my kinda question!!!! I love the rain so fucking much oh god. Again, I grew up in a city where it rains a LOT so it just immediately makes me so much happier. I saw this post years ago but I still think about it a lot.

It touches on one of the most perfect things to do when it rains, which is to drink chai. We have these things called pakoras or bhajiyas and they’re basically indian vegetable fritters. My personal favourite is the onion one (kanda bhajiya), served with ketchup or spicy green chutney. Since it’s nearly impossible for me to get my hands on the stuff anymore (I am also terrified of frying things so) Maggi is a decent replacement. Maggi is essentially Indian ramen and is a staple in our homes, I 100% recommend that everybody here try it. You also have 2 options for enjoying it!!! Either at home or at the roadside stalls. Chai and vada pavs at tapris are just *chef’s kiss*.

I also love going driving in the rain. There’s just something so lovely about it, I can’t explain it. Rains are also the ideal time to just stare out the window and do absolutely nothing. Alternatively, it’s a great time to allow the raindrops to drown out the world around you and just read (with chai of course). When I was a kid we also used to play outside in the rain a lot and sail paper boats in puddles and stuff and ahhhh I just miss the pure unadulterated joy that came with all this stuff. This question is so bittersweet, but thanks so much for asking it. 🥰

Thanks for the questions, sorry the last one got a little out of hand whoops

50 Questions

[the-headbop-wraith]

3 _ 47  A Goodbye Letter

 Kingsman Mechanics didn’t usually pick out supplies with smaller distributors, but occasionally Arthur would roll around to collect some of the less essential equipment which had a habit of wearing out. Sometimes it was worth it to spurge a buck if the use was versatile enough, while other equipment had components that wore out regularly and it required periodic maintenance. Other assets he did like to snag spur of the moment, typically for his personal work such as on his arm, or when he needed inspiration for new gear that was hitting the market.

 It was always such an outlet to head out of town and browse the techno shop, supplied with quality parts and computer components for modest prices. One division of the shop displayed aisles of industrial shelving, with test gadgets up top for casual shoppers. Other portions of the store dedicated inventory to domestic living, or industrial distribution. It was likewise one of the nearest shops that carried valued craft supplies for largescale modeling, such as welding and do-it-yourself engineering. For Arthur’s needs, he was aiming for some new soldering parts to boost the efficiency in a refurbished arm.

 There were advantages to a custom made mechanical arm. Dealing with corroded bolts and nuts or working with a stubborn, over twisted bolt was not the issue it used to be. However, it wasn’t a real arm, some of the angles he used to twist into for reaching sections of a car was now troublesome, and his false arm had limits different to a limb of flesh and blood. The circuits and servos didn’t mend on their own over time, if something inside the arm ceased altogether the whole arm crapped out. He couldn’t call for ten and give the arm a chance to heal, anything that needed fixing Arthur did so in his spare time. To avoid those complications, rotors and gears required maintenance; the harder the work, the more frequent the checkups. Circuits burnt out due to overuse – sometimes it overheated – wiring frayed of came loose from the excessive movement and prolonged abuse.

 And dear gods, did he abuse his arm.

 He moved down the large lane, checking his phone and comparing the listing to the names and brands of spooled wires in bins. A metal with a higher heat tolerance was more expensive, but it would endure more hours. However, he needed to construct a better housing for the circuit line to prevent the insulation getting snagged. One of the first arms he built, he totally forgot to factor in gravity and momentum; the wires were not secured like they should’ve been and the model was short lived. He didn’t even make it through the first (return to) paranormal case, they didn’t even arrive to the destination before the thing died.

 With a shudder, he tossed the elected spool into his basket. Within, some large crates of craft metal for repairing cosmetic areas of the shop. Some lowkey cheapy materials he bought offhand, rather order wholesale. Some test gear to burn through before reaching out to large distributors for orders.

 Next, he ventured to the aisle for hosing and insulation components. A new building line for storing energy for the battery would extend the functionality of his arm. The only thing he could do while resting was recharge the internal battery, big whoop.

 On his way to the aisle, Arthur dithered and gave his space a brief examination. The creeping sensation that someone was watching, or someone followed him. It was no mistake, he knew that sensation better than a burn. No way this was paranoia. Never would he attribute his instincts to paranoia.

 For now, he played it cool. It was more to the hope that being out in public would deter something malicious, but he wouldn’t let on about his suspicions. Once he reached the parking zone, he’d have to be on his—

 In his ruminations, Arthur almost didn’t react in time to avoid the basket that eased out into his path. However, his reflexes remained uncontested, and he managed to swerve despite his gimp arm.

 “Holy crepes! I’m so sorry, excuse—” He shut up, and mayhap his face drained of what little color it had. In his path stood….

 MAMMA PEPPER!

 The stern face, the tight shoulders, the imposing aura. Arthur purposefully avoided the Pepper Paradiso, the whole Pepper Bushel – save one vengeful spook – nononononononononononononononononononoNO! Why is she here? He avoided all the grocery stores in all their small town, save for the few times he had to go out and pick up foodstuffs because his Uncle was too sick or swamped with work, whatever – he couldn’t let Uncle Lance go out, even if he insisted he was fine – she couldn’t be here, not in the sacred mechanics haven. The last frontier of casual shopping, and freedom from the accusing eye. This was inconceivable!

 Arthur opened his mouth, but words abandoned him. His throat generated an eerie whine. “Ack.”

 “Arthur,” Mamma Pepper spoke, voice icy, but somehow heated and thick. “I haven’t seen you in some time. You and Vivi, don’t come by anymore. Do you?”

 Any shape or form of human vocalization was beyond Arthur. He clenched his jaw, choked back a swallow, and tried for a syllable. “Uh.”

 “Are you all right? Should I leave you?” She pulled the basket backwards, though there was plenty of room for Arthur to move onward.

 “No,” squeaked Arthur. “Uh… it’s all right. I mean, I’m fine. It’s okay.” He took a breath. Without a word, Mamma Pepper stood, rigid and impassive. “Yeah. It’s fine. Um, Vivi… she uh, she—” He stalled when Mamma Pepper raised a hand.

 “I see. I didn’t mean to intrude.” She tightened her grip on the basket. “I try not to push, but I also don’t want you both believing you are not welcome. You are always… welcomed at the Pepper Paradiso. Does it help when I remind you?” She peaked one critical eye at Arthur.

 He nodded. “It… yes. I appreciate the offer.” He glanced aside, then, checked the supplies in the basket. Industrial Gas Connectors, among other parts and pieces from gauges to replacement dials. “How’s the restaurant doing?” Mamma Pepper seemed to frown. Seemed to. And sighed.

 “Business as usual.”

 “I didn’t mean the business,” Arthur interjected. “I was talking about your equipment. I meant to call and ask, if you… needed some maintenance work? I could come by sometime. I can bring, eh… Vivi. She’d like to come by too, I think. I’d have to ask. She’s been, um…” reflexively, he reached over to grip at his metal wrist, “been doing, erm… well. Yeah. I wanted to ask….” He stalled.

 Mamma Pepper’s stare became harder, more critical. But there was an underlying softness he could scarcely discern.

  __

 For the past month Lewis spent the bulk of his time at Vivi’s apartment, while she was out at work or checking in with Arthur during days off. Though she recognized Lewis wouldn’t remain the whole time locked away or secluded from the world, he left notes when he was jamming off and for how long he intended to be. Where he went remained a mystery, which she was not super eager to inquire about but she did remain curious. She was more apt in reading his nonverbal cues and perhaps a little underestimated in her abilities, given her experience with paranormal creatures.

 Today was one of the first times she hauled Lewis out, though he was foremost invited to change up his ‘routine’, whatever that consisted of. For a bit, he pretended to give the offer some thought – while he hovered midair looking pretty relaxed. It wasn’t a huge surprise that he went along, not that he had a schedule or anything to keep on task with. Aside from shopping runs, a task reserved for the evening, with funds set out for his personal use, and having no real needs of his own. He spent the money on making sure Vivi was well stocked, so poor-poor Mystery wouldn’t have to watch his partner drink those awful canned teas.

 This day was not one to be in any particular place, with an established time to return on. It was a rare day to get out there and go nowhere, spend time in each other’s company.

 And Vivi felt like she was getting to know a Lewis better. She wasn’t certain which Lewis she was becoming more aware of, since there was a difference between Lewis Pepper when he was living, and the Lewis postmortem – if she was to put it indelicately. There were not enough notebooks and folders in the Box which gave her insight into Lewis Pepper, not enough pictures to rekindle memories stolen from the pools of reflection. It didn’t matter so much that she remembered who he was, but that she knew who he is. It bothered her that she lost what once was, and might never be able to take it back.

 A braided crown of stems and flowers alit on Vivi’s head. She took it down and gave the hoop shape a brief scrutiny.

 “Not my best flower crown,” Lewis admitted. “But not a lot of flowers ‘round here.” He held a short stem between his teeth, and gave a comical southern draw.

 “Is it imbued with special, mystical properties?” She turned the crown over and over. Lewis’ voice hitched, as he cackled.

 “No, Vii. Not everything needs special secret magic to make it special.” He grinned. “It’s an old fashioned, unremarkable, flower crown.”

 Vivi set the crown back upon her head. “Plants always have a charm about them, through the winter they endure. I don’t know what it is. The dormancy, the anticipation of reawakening post a harsh and relentless season, something previously viewed as unsightly, reviving, blooming. Hmm… I hope we can have a snowfall before the cold ends.”

 Lewis shrugged. He leaned back against the tree they sat beneath, shaded from the sun by the thin branches brimming with miniscule buds. “One more snow fall wouldn’t be too bad, though I always love the colors of spring. I’m eager for the return of some color.”

 Across the open field of the park, Mystery darted by like a bullet. As if a vengeful spirit was snapping at his tail. Like he was racing his own shadow.

 Vivi reclined back and rested her head on his thigh. “Hey.”

 “Hmm?”

 “When you leave your notes? Do you actually go out somewhere, or… do you sometimes rest too?” she pondered. “I get this feeling you’re not gone completely. Like you’re still there, but unresponsive. Resting?”

 Lewis reached a hand up and scratched at his cheek. “Uh, perceptive much? Sometimes I am a little weary and can’t fully manifest, like the way you… know. Since I can’t just be, I don’t want you to worry. Other times, I’ll find my way to the van. It… is a place where I feel at peace. Dunno why that is.”

 Vivi pulled her hands up and folded them over her middle. “Hanging around with the living still overwhelming?”

 “It’s a lot of energy to deal with. I can’t really escape it.” Vivi smirked.

 “And how’s the van coming along?”

 Lewis wheezed, “Slowly.”

 Vivi tilted her head back further and gazed into the rich azure sky. “What about you? Not that it matters right now, but you’re not casting a shadow. That only happens when somethings on your mind, or you’ve pushed yourself a little too much.”

 Lewis reached over and tucked back a loose hair under the woven crown. “That’s nothing to worry about, I’ve been more active than usual. I guess it’s not so noticeable when we’re doing the travel gig, and you’re focused not on me.” He offered a sly waggle of his brow above the sunglasses, and Vivi responded by squinting back suspiciously. “Mi queria, don’t worry so much. If I thought something was off, you’d be the first person I’d go to.”

 Vivi scoffed. “You better, buster.”

 Mystery sprinted over and gave pause, long enough to tumble down beside Vivi and roll in the scraggily grass. “Mystery!” The wily hound snatched the crown from her head and took off, his yapping suspiciously rebounding like cackling laughter. “You give that back!” Vivi flew up, scrambling to get on her feet. Lewis was up immediately, skiing forward.

 “Oh! I absolutely will catch you! Don’t you doubt it!”

 The ears and hair on Mystery shot up, and he was off faster than a beam of light. Lewis dove after the dog, zigzagging in wild patterns and grabbing at thin air upon every duck and slide Mystery pulled. The grass beneath Lewis’ heels scorched upon every twist; try as he might though, the pup was unattainable.

 Before Vivi could fully devote herself to the chase, the muffled hum of her phone went off. She almost went ahead and left the phone beneath the tree, tucked away safely in the backpack, but decided better and picked it up. “Arthur?”

 “Hey,” replied through the phone.

 “Didn’t expect a call from you. Is everything okay?” She spun around and watched as Mystery made a wide turn, with Lewis hot on his tail. Literally. When Lewis spied Vivi on the phone, he abruptly broke out of his glide and jogged over. “Hmm?”

 “What was that? Is Lew there?”

 “Yeaahhh… Lew’s here.” She grinned up at the aforementioned specter. Lewis’ appearance flashed and shimmered, he set his hands on his vest and tugged. “Arthur says hi.”

 “Tell him… hey, back for me?”

 “Lew says Hay.” Arthur laughed. That was a good sound.

 “I was callin’ to see if you were busy tonight, I have something I wanna ask.”

 Vivi stepped back into the shade and leaned on the tree. “You can’t ask right now, over the phone?” Mystery padded around the side of the tree, lil crown looped over one ear.

 “It’s ahh… a lil complicated, to talk about. Actually, you and Lew both.” Arthur didn’t sound super fortified himself, but his words came through. “Would Lew be willing to come by? If not, that’s okay too. It’s up to him. But he can come by too, I could talk to him.”

 Vivi looked over to Lewis and hit the mute button on her phone. “He wants to see you.”

 “I got that.” Lewis’ appearance dimmed, the burning eye behind the sunglasses glistened in the shifting fractures of his projected appearance. For a moment, Vivi thought he would vanish or lose his grip.

 “You can say no,” she affirmed. “You don’t have to give a reason. He’ll understand.”

 Lewis snatched her hand before she could work at the phone screen. “No, espera. I’d like to see Artie.”

 “You sure?” You and he… you think you’re up for it?”

 “Yeah.” Lewis took the little stalk of grass from his mouth and tossed it. “If he’s cool, I’d be down for a visit.”

 Vivi unmuted her phone. “Hey Art, you still there?” Arthur replied with a hum. Some background noise came through his side, it sounded like traffic or machinery. “What would be a good time for us to swing by?”

 “Around seven, a little after,” he offered. “I’m running some errands, so no rush. You don’t sleep, do you?”

 “Mmm,” Vivi mocked contemplated. “It’s not in my schedule.” A sound akin to static emitted, and she took it as Lewis best attempt at clearing his throat. “Sounds good.” She wondered briefly, but dismissed the thoughts. “We’ll see you then.” She clicked off the phone and made certain it was closed out.

 To Lewis, “He sounded tense and anxious. I didn’t want to ask.”

 Lewis went over and took the crown off Mystery’s head, and set it back on Vivi’s blue hair. “If there’s a problem, I can duck out. Not that I mind a meet, some nonbusiness would be a nice change.”

 Vivi peered at him quizzically. “I don’t think there should be. He’s put a lot of work at the shop, and that helps. But we’ll see.” She began walking, with Mystery picking up the pace by her side and Lewis at her shoulder. “Anywhere else you wanna roll by and check out?” She fitted her hand into Lewis’ and gripped his fingers.

 In a flash of embers, Lewis lost his very convincing living appearance and stood frozen mid stride. At least the park for the time sat empty.

 Vivi stiffened. “Fuck!”

 __

 Another crate of supplies went into the back of the work truck on loan. The parts and materials sat on high value, even the copper was an easy swipe if some lowlife happened by and recognized the glossy hull. With all the valuables packed into the front seats, Arthur shut and locked up.

 Paths of sidewalk wound around the patches of desert xeriscape and clumps of cactus, cutting the sidewalk and parking zone into jagged portions. An expansive patio rolled out from the building entrance, fitted with a wide awning and short fence to divide the patio from the walkway. A few tables sat, awaiting company on the chilly day.

 Arthur moved through the opening of the fence, his gaze taking in faces, his apprehension spiked higher. He didn’t see any familiar faces, but that didn’t reassure him. It was chilly, and his metal arm shifted in the sling; the only arm covered at this time. It would be best to leave, this wasn’t a good idea. He’d call, apologize. She’d understand. He hoped she’d understand. He took a step back. On the thoroughfare traffic picked up, though none of the vehicles cruising by slowed or pulled into the parking lane. Not yet. But soon….

 The entrance to the café swept open and a familiar face glided out. Arthur grimaced, but hadn’t given his legs the memo to relocate. That would’ve been hella rude.

 “I’m glad you could make it.”

 Arthur put a hand to the low top of the fence at his side, but reframed from leaning. He was certain if he did anything but stand, he’d collapse.

 “Yeah. I had a,” he stammered, struggling to collect his words, “a last pickup. Have you been waiting long?”

 Mamma Pepper stood stock still, statuesque. “Not long at all. It’s chilly outside, I have a table waiting.” It sounded almost like she was inviting him into her own restaurant, though Arthur wasn’t sure why this out of the way café.

 He checked the area over before stepping forward. One foot, then the other, steady. “This place. It’s new.”

 “I assisted the owner’s in getting set up,” Mamma Pepper supplied. She held the door for Arthur, until he ventured in of his own pace. “Sometimes my family offers taste testing, and vice versa.”

 Arthur concealed the little twinge that ran through his spine. “Awesome.” The interior was not splendid or over done, but simplistic with a homey charm. At the furthest side of the room, logs crackled and churned within a brick fireplace. From the ceiling, rustic lanterns hung. The dim light competed with the sparse interior tables, and the little candles flickering. One table at the furthest wall harbored a mug of steaming liquid.

 “Take your time, if you choose to order,” Mamma Pepper spoke. “There’s no rush.” She left him and weaved around the tables, until she reached her target. She pulled a chair out, and then took her seat at the table across from the vacant chair. A blatant invitation, if he ever saw one.

 Despite a line, Arthur went ahead and made an order. After the barista took his name, he ventured over to the location Mamma Pepper claimed. She was sipping at the beverage. “I never gave that sorta theme much thought,” he admitted. “They offer some interesting… mixes.” Concoctions sounded rude.

 Mamma Pepper nodded and hummed. “Coffee and tea blends, with traditional staples. I wanted to tell you about it sooner, but I didn’t want to intrude.”

 “Ah.”

 “How have you been?” She squinted one eye at Arthur. “I expect well.”

 “Y-yeah. We… uh, Vii and I, we’re still at it.” He rubbed the back of his head with the heel of his palm. “Doing investigations. Y’know that.”

 “Nothing stops that girl.” A hint of a smile graced Mamma Pepper’s face. “I’m glad to hear.”

 The barista brought by Arthur’s beverage, exchanged conversation on how the two were doing, and left. It was a joy to focus on something else, if even briefly.

 “What did you get?”

 Arthur gave the warm liquid a try. “One of the trademark Hy-blends.” He wasn’t a stranger to abominable tea and coffee concoctions, or anything to spark his brain and keep his eyes open on the longest of long roads between towns. But this was really good, the appropriate balance of strength to mellow, with perhaps too much cream making it thick like ice-cream. But good nonetheless. It wouldn’t keep his heart beating, but it was flavorful.

 His mind worked to bring forth the questions, to inquire about how a family went on in the absence of a loved one. How did one approach the topic, and when was it an appropriate time? There was no reason to approach that at all, no reason to drag it forward if he could avoid it. He sipped his beverage, trying his darndest not to quake.

 “You have a way with the machinery,” Mamma Pepper went on, through the absence of substance. “The equipment gets fixed – mind you – everything works without hitch, but it’s not the same. I can’t put my finger on what’s different. Your help was appreciated.”

 Arthur slunk down in his seat a bit. “Yeah. Mn, sorry ‘bout that. Not, uh….”

 “Arthur,” she stated, firmly. “I’m not disappointed. I’m trying to explain that we missed you. We missed Arthur, not Arthur the mechanic. Just… Arthur.” She sipped at her drink.

 “Oh, right.” He looked around at the dimly lit space, the steady stream of customers. “Have you helped other restaurants get opened up? It’s pretty sweet, nothing like the Pepper Paradiso. Er, it’s more… rustic, I guess?”

 Their exchange seemed to fall into place after that, with Mamma Pepper going lightly over a few changes at the Pepper Paradiso. The two caught up on how they were getting along, while skittering aside from the topic involving Vivi. Arthur wasn’t certain how to approach that grape vine, but Mamma Pepper’s questions were careful. It almost felt normal, like he wasn’t cowering under some terrible weight and suffocating. He could breath a little easier, his replies coming with minimal hitch – when he didn’t think about the now. She did admit her family kept up to date with Uncle Lance, which surprised him. Lance never let on he stayed in touch with the Peppers, though given his Uncle’s pokey (though prying) it was a little obvious.

 As the minutes ticked by, Arthur did become comfortable with a topic delving into how Vivi was keeping. He didn’t want to elaborate a whole lot, but he wanted to assure Mamma Pepper that in the least, the blue-headed investigator sleuth had asked about the family. He wasn’t sure where to go from there, but Mamma Pepper filled in the blanks. She offered cheerful accounts of how the girls were growing so fast, what grade they were in now, and the mischief. It was all good conversation, pleasant and cathartic about the little things. Mostly mundane, and some entertaining and exciting. And when Arthur talked about the hamster he adopted, and built prosthetic wheels for, Mamma Pepper even smiled.

 __

  It was a little after six and the sun was in full set, when Vivi biked her way up the sidewalk beside Kingsman Mechanics. With her trotted the Mystery, prancing like a gazelle and very undog-like, but who was paying attention? Staff hadn’t cleared out completely, though the garages had long been shuttered and locked; barring the entitled customer from trying to get a simple (two hour) fix done on their car at the last minute. Vivi coasted up the empty carport and set her bike beside one of the sign poles for reserved parking, and latched the chain. Then, went over to the entry door and knocked. While she waited, Mystery turned his nose down and gave the area a brief scout.

 “I know you can open the door, but I’m not keen on sneaking in.” As per usual, she wore one of the work backpacks, and in the side pocket sat a snug flashlight.

 To Mystery, “You can run off for a bit, if you need. I think we’ll be fine.” This time, she gave the doorbell a buzz.

 Mystery raised his head and gave Vivi one of his, “give me a break,” looks. He trotted back over.

 In due time a wobbly, hazy form swelled beyond the dim barrier of the door. The door unlatched and opened; Uncle Lance stood there, somewhat surprised. “Aye, hey Vivi. Mystery.” He nodded to the dog as he padded by, welcoming himself in without prompt. “Arthur expectin’ yu?”

 “Yeah,” she gasped. Upon entry, Uncle Lance secured the door behind them and pocketed the keys. “We’re a bit early… I had a few stops to make. Is he not in?” She fell in step behind Lance as he led the way, through the dark passage. Most the lights through the main workshop remained off, only the soft lamps offering radiance, enough to keep people from stumbling into each other or getting lost.

 “Naw, been out all day.” Lance rolled his shoulders and stretched up one arm, gripping at the socket. “I should replace both arms,” he muttered. When he lowered that arm, he checked his watch. He didn’t wear a watch. “Not too worried. Ceptin’, I don’t have a ride out of ‘ere.”

 Vivi couldn’t help but set a hand over her face and stifle the snicker. It was usually her or Arthur winding up stranded due to shared vehicles, if her bike was not available (though Arthur would first eat a healthbar than ride her bike). Now, it was Uncle Lance’s turn.

 “I’m so sorry about that.”

 Mystery yapped. It was a distant reply, given that he was now patrolling the work garage.

 “Can’t be helped. I’m just glad whatever nonsense yu get involved with, you came out safe.”

 Vivi grimaced and bit her lip. “Yes, very glad. It could’ve been bad.” Unbeknownst to Vivi, the flashlight flickered sporadically, until it sputtered and went out entirely. Crackling webs of fuchsia detached and dispersed off through the murky air.

 Lance swung away from heading toward the office and gestured. “Something up with that flashlight?”

 “Huh?” Vivi twisted herself in order to view the aforementioned electric torch. “Uhh?”

 “I seein’ you haul that there thing around.” He tugged on his beard, in thought. “Well, not lately…. You’re not planning on doin’ no spook snoopin with Arthur? Ya’ll are on break from that job-work, eh? A vacation, ain’t it called?” He fixed Vivi with a ferocious, accusing glare – the shadow around his eyes intensifying to the tenth power. “Ain’t it, girl?”

 Vivi sweated. How was it possible for someone so opposite of tall, to be so imposing. “N-no, Uncle. We… I swear….”

 “I pay Arthur to do one of two things.” Uncle Lance counted them off on his fingers. “Work. An’ Rest. Ya got that!”

 Vivi grabbed at her scarf. Oh sweet mother of gods, Lance looked set to unite with his rifle. “No! Absolutely NOT! Er, I… it needs to be looked over. I forgot to hand it over to Arthur, it was my fault! I was careless!” Lance’s features became more relaxed, and she risked a breathy exhale. Crisis averted.

 “Ah. Groovy.” He pivoted and began walking, saying over his shoulder, “Call me when he gets in. And if you need somethin’, there’s chicken wings in the fridge.”

 Vivi waved after him. ���Kay! Thank you!” And then raced off, shooting into the corridor and charging up the stairs. Down the hall, the door to Arthur’s work room awaited ajar, and she barreled in.

 A flash of embers all but blinded her. The rose-tinted blaze faded out leaving a hard, burnt fragrance throughout the room. “Lewis! Again?” She wobbled aside when Mystery shoved his way in through the doorway. “How does this keep happening?!”

 “I thought you were Uncle Lance!” came the disembodied retort, somewhat crackly.

 Vivi shut the door and checked the corkboard with the pinned schematics. “Why didn’t you wait then?” None of them were burnt, which was good.

 “I got bored.” In a fuchsia surge of flames, Lewis shape reappeared. A skull and death suit, and then a fizzing surge of embers swirled about the skull and fitted the spirit with cheeks and a jaw, a living memory. “And… I kind of wanted to check the place out.”

 Vivi studied Lewis for a moment, but said nothing. That was fast, though he hadn’t shed the death suit yet. “Okay. I’ll send Art a text, let him know we’re here. Make sure we don’t surprise him.” She set the backpack on the couch and rummaged through it. Mystery hopped up onto the cushions and curled up, his eyes tracking Vivi’s work. Up until she pulled up the laptop and her phone. “Aw. No power.”

 She and Mystery turned their eyes to Lewis.

 The spirit glanced aside and tugged at his tie. “You did ask earlier, didn’t you?”

 Vivi pointed to her little phone. “There is a battery in here. It has only so much power.” Mystery growled and yipped.

 “Be thankful your apartment covers utility costs.”

 Vivi grumbled under her breath as she rooted around her backpack for the charger. “I forgot it. I know better.” Mystery bounced off the couch, within seconds he was back with Arthur’s charger clamped in his teeth. “Thank you. I probably have to hook up my laptop too.” She tsked, this was cumbersome and she knew better.

 “I’m sorry!” Lewis swiped off the embers crackling at his vest and shirt sleeves, the same way someone would straighten out wrinkles.

 “No you’re not,” Vivi snapped. “You shouldn’t be. It’s not your fault.” Thankfully, she never took the laptops charger out of the backpack; let alone disconnected it. She hooked it up to a surge bar and plopped down on the couch once more. Lewis sat down beside her.

 “Watcha lookin’ up?”

 “Emails. There better not be emails in my damn emails.” She went through the mail icon and sighed. “Of course, it’s from Duet.”

 “Joy o joys.”

 “A list of assets for review.” She closed out the email. “I’ll look at those later.” She pulled up a new tab, and began researching how to stop spirits from syphoning battery life on the Paranormal Corner site.

 “Maybe… I should go for a bit.” Lewis glided out of his seat, up until Vivi caught the tail end of his vest and hauled him back down. “Or not….”

 “Atta boy.”

[marvinswriting]

heatwave

Prompt: no prompt, just stay hydrated bbys.  this is me projecting the fear from the first time i passed out onto Janis, ft my dumb thought process of 'im fine'. Yes, that's right. I too, refuse to ask for help when I need it. Not just Janis. whoops. G/T MEAN GIRLS AU

The tiny portion of the school doesn't have AC. Which to be honest shouldn't be legal, but a lot of things at Northshore shouldn't be legal. No proper heating or cooling was the least of the tiny's issues. 

When it's too cold, you wear a jacket. (Or skip and stay with Damian). When it's too hot, the tiny teachers bring in electric fans for their classrooms. Besides, the tinies only have like- four periods in the walls. 

But it does become an issue during a heatwave.

It was almost 100 degrees in Northshore. There was no wind so the air felt stale and dry. Now imagine being in a wall.

I think I'm being cooked alive. The baggy jacket I live in probably doesn't help much though.

It was global, my last tiny class of the day. Aaron and I had advanced global together while Regina had normal global in the room next door. 

I slumped in my chair not listening to the teacher at all. 

Aaron and I sat together in the front of the room and the only pro to that was the fan was right there. 

Not that it did much.

It was old and moved slow. It wasn't cooling anyone, just circulating the hot air. 

I finished my water bottle three periods ago and I still had a headache. It wasn't awful, just annoying. 

I tried to ignore the little spots in the corner of my eyes every time I moved my head.

Just a small headache. 

Suddenly, the breeze disappears.

The fucking fan died.

"Oh, dear." My teacher says.

She a short old lady with circle glasses on the bridge of her nose.

"Oh, dear is an understatement," I mumble to Aaron who just shakes his head.

Our teacher tries to turn on the fan, but there's no sign of life. She even unplugs the wire and tries again.

"I guess it's fried." She says with a small laugh.

"So are we!" Some kid calls from the back of the class. I think its Glen Coco but I don't have enough energy to turn around and check as the rest of the class laughs.

Our teacher smiles warmly. "We've got ten minutes left in the period. Go hang out in the tiny cafeteria or something." 

The tiny cafeteria is one of the few places in the school with AC for tinies. Which is nice because it's bearly bigger than a classroom, but they expect to fit all of us in it. It gets crowded and hot even with air conditioning.

Our teacher continues. "Just get somewhere cool. And drink water!"

Water sounded nice. I should have brought more than one bottle. I knew it'd be hot today. 

Aaron ad I pack up our bags before standing. The world spins a bit but it feels just like my typical low iron issue. 

The spots fade just like normal when I stand up too quickly and Aaron and I are off. 

We pull Regina out of her class early saying 'it's for a class project'. The teacher didn't ask what class so we didn't specify.

"So," Regina says. "How did you guys get out of class?"

"Our teacher let us," Aaron explains as we walk through the halls. We're in the very back of the tiny section, furthest away from the tiny pick up zone. "Her fan died."

"No!" Regina said with genuine concern.

"Yeah, but she didn't make us stay long," I explained. My throat was dry and my voice sounded weird, but neither friends paid mind to it.  

I tried to ignore the way the hallways spun. My limbs felt slow and heavy despite how fast I walked to keep up with Aaron and Regina. 

"Let's stop and grab food at the cafeteria. I'm starving and we have time." Regina said grabbing both Aaron and I's wrists and dragging us in the opposite direction from the air conditions hallways.

No!

Food was the last thing I wanted right now. Just the thought of it made me sick. I wanted water, not salty cheese fries. 

I watched the ground as we walked. The hallways were empty but Regina stopped us to look at one of the message boards.

"Janis, the theater performance is next week?"

"Yeah," I say without looking up. The world spun each time I moved my head. "Damian's got lead."

"Of course he does." Regina said. 

She and Aaron continued talking but I didn't contribute to the conversation. 

I guess I need water more then I realized.

The spots in my eyes covered my whole vision. 

It went from a small headache to the end of the world real fast.

I couldn't tell if my eyes were opened or closed. It was all a grey swarm.

"I think I'm gonna pass out." I whispered.

Aaron and Regina didn't pay any mind.

"Guys." I spoke louder.

Was I even audible? No matter how loud I tried to speak it never came out in more than a mumble.

My legs felt heavy and weak at the same time. Like my knees would give at any second. 

"Guys." I repeat myself. 

I can't even hear Aaron and Regina talking over the buzz in my ear. My head felt heavy and I could feel every time it tipped in the slightest. 

My vision was totally replaced by spots and I couldn't see anything.

My throat was so dry it felt like it was closing as I tried to speak.

I need water. Fuck. I need water.

-

"....anis."

I could see it again, but my brain wasn't processing. Aaron was in front of me. His mouth was moving but I don't know what he's saying.

I'm on the floor leaning against someone. 

It's too hot for that.

I try and sit up but arms wrap around me, pulling me back down. I don't fight it as spots appear in my vision again.

A water bottle is handed to me. 

I bring it to my lips without question. 

My brain still isn't working.

The person behind me is slipping my jacket off my arms. I try and fight it.

My jacket is like my comfort blanket. I can't take it off. I can't-

"Janis, please."

Regina.

It was Regina. 

I place the empty water bottle next to me and let my jacket get stripped off.

I never drink a full water bottle in one sitting.

Yet I still felt thirsty.

"You okay?" Aaron asks as I push myself out of Regina's lap. "You passed out for a second. You just crumpled. We were worried. You-"

"Aaron," Regina says sternly. "For god's sake she just passed out, let her breath."

"You need more water?" Aaron asked.

"Yeah." I say softly. 

"I'll go swing by the cafeteria," Aaron says getting his bag and standing up.

"Look," Regina joked as Aaron turned the corner. "You broke him."

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Regina says turning me so we're both leaning against the wall. "It's hot as fuck out. I'm not surprised it happened. You just get a little nervous when your friend just drops to the ground."

I nod. The ringing in my head had gone away but my mouth still felt dry. Regina held my jacket folded over her arms.

"You fell into me when you passed out." Regina laughed. "Almost took me down with you."

My face flushed with embarrassment. "Whoops."

There were footsteps as Aaron can back. "I bought three, I figured we all need water."

"Thanks, man." I say reaching into my bag to grab my wallet.

"No. No, it's fine." Aaron said pushing my hand away from my bag and tossing both Regina and I a bottle.

"You sure?" Regina asked.

"Yeah." Aaron nods. "Feel better Janis?"

I nod, slipping the water. It was ice cold and made me feel a lot better. I still felt nauseous and a bit dizzy, but not like I would pass out. "I don't think I trust myself to get up yet," I say, leaning against the wall.

"You'd feel better in the AC." Regina points out. 

I nod but make no effort to get up. Regina reaches over and presses her cold waterbottle against my forehead. 

"If I catch you wearing a jacket in a heatwave again you can catch my hands." She says, but she doesn't sound very threatening.

Aaron hums an agreement as the bell rings. 

Students walk past us but nobody pays us much mind. Everyone wants to get to ac as soon as possible.

"We need to call Damian" Regina says.

"Or- oh I dunno....her mom" Aaron says, glaring up at Regina.

"Yeah we can do that too, but how the fuck is Janis gonna get home? Walk?"

"We should call her mom first. I know I'd wanna know if my kid passed out."

"You have a kid?" I laugh.

"This is a hypothetical situation," Aaron says.

"But this-" Regina points to me. "-isnt hypothtical. If Karen or Gretchen passed out, I'd wanna fucking know. They're my giants."

"Guys," I groan, looking up to the ceiling. "We can do both. Regina, you know my phone password, don't call my mom because she's at work but text her."

Aaron and Regina glare at each other momentarily without moving. I clear my throat and Regina breaks her gaze to reach for my phone. Aaron picks up his phone and begins dialing. 

I can't hear the other line but it doesn't take long for Aaron to start talking.

"Hey, Damian. You think you can meet us at the tiny pick up? Regina, Janis, and I. Janis needs a ride home." He paused. "Yeah, she's fine now...she passed out- wait no- Damian she's fine. It wasn't like- No, dude. She-"

Regina and I laugh as Aaron tried to explain what happened.

"She just fell, she's fine now- no- shes oka- Damian!"

"Poor Aaron." Regina chuckled.

"Damian, Aaron rolled his eyes. "Do you want to talk to her?"

I lower my hand from my mouth where I was trying to hide my laughter as Aaron passed the phone.

"Janis?!"

"Hey, dude." I can't help but laugh. The panic Aaron had when I first passed out seemed tenfold from Damian over the line. "I'm tits, man. Just overheated a bit."

"Were you wearing your jacket?"

"I was."

"Janis!"

"Not anymore, I'm not!"

There's hushed speaking on the other line. "Cady says it's stupid of you."

"Tell Cady she's stupid."

"That would be a lie." Aaron points out. He can't hear Damian, he just decided his input was necessary. It wasn't.

"Met us at the pick-up zone, okay?" Damian asks.

"Yeah," I say. "Love you."

"Love you too."

The line clicks and I pass the phone back to Aaron. Regina is still texting on mine so I stand up to look ever her shoulder. My mom seems a lot more chill about it then Damian was. I told her not to wear a jacket. I don't even think she needs to leave school but just send her home and we can talk later. Glad she's okay.

"What does everyone have against my jacket?"

"It's hot as fuck, Janis." Regina deadpans.

Aaron takes my bag from me. "Let's go."

"I can carry my bag-" I try to protest.

"Nu-uh. Aaron, you hand Janis her bag back and I'll push you off the platform." Regina interrupts me.

I finish off my water as Aaron chuckles. "What's with you and pushing people from high places, Gina?" 

Regina shrugged, my jacket still in her arms. "It's fun. Besides, you think one of us would really get hurt? With the people we're friends with?"

"True." I point out. 

As we get closer to the tiny exist I can feel the ac already. Damian and Cady are already at the platform, Damian looking incredibly stressed. I throw up jazz hands the second he sees me. 

"I'm all good!"

"Getting calls like that never fail to scare me," Damian says with a worried smile. "Glad you're okay." 

Aaron hands me my bag and Regina draped my jacket over my shoulders as I walk over to Damian. 

The first thing he does is lift the jacket off of me and glare at Regina who laughs, raising her hands in defense. 

Damian scoops me up, letting me fall backward into his hand. I don't even bother to sit up as he pulls his hand close to his chest. The ceiling lights were bright, but I'd rather see that then grey spots.

"I'm gonna get this reckless girl home."

I can head Aaron and Regina faintly say goodbye over Cady's bye.

I prop myself up on my forearms as Damian begins walking. "What are we gonna do with you, Janis?" He asks.

I shrug forgetting he can't see. "I'm tired."

"Wouldn't be surprised silly."

He gets us both checked out at the office. Tinies passing out during a heatwave isn't an uncommon occurrence and I'm not even the first today. They don't question it and let us leave. 

I already feel a lot better by the time Damian makes it to his car. Mom was right and I definitely could have stayed in school. But hey, an excuse for nap time is an excuse for nap time. Especially during a heatwave when I can lay in my bedroom with a fucking ac.

Fun fact, the first time I passed out I was at an airplane show during a heatwave. The blacktop made everything hotter than normal and it was like 110 degrees. I- like Janis, almost pulled my friend down with me. I don't remember half the shit after I passed out bc my brain was like- viewing everything but not processing it. What I do remember is downing three water bottles on the spot and being like- Holy Shit. Bc, i cant even drink half a water bottle in one sitting. TAGS! @realmisspolarbear @musicallygt @smallsoysauce @sourishlemons

[gustafsnightangel]

Shattered Lives Ch 5 Pt 2

“I’m sorry.” She said again and watched him go and change Lily.

She’d forgotten how sensitive he was under all the bravado, all the goofiness, all the humor. She had hurt him last night. Not from what she said but by her actions.

She was standing in the kitchen when he came out. He slipped a hand around her hip and pressed a kiss to the nape of her neck.

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” She said again and turned to face him.

“Let it go now, it’s done.” He said and held her briefly before Lily wanted to go to Sildie. “I’m not angry at you ok?” She nodded and smiled at Lily.

They talked some more while the boys enjoyed their movie. Lily was happy to sit with Gustaf.

At six there was a knock at the door and Gustaf watched Sildie frown. She answered it to find pizza and drinks. She turned and leveled a state at Gustaf. He just grinned. What was she going to do he thought?

The boys whooped and hollered thanking Gustaf for the pizza as they chowed down sitting on the couch.

“Pizza? Really?” She said as she sat down.

“Dinner solved, no prep time, no dishes, and you get a night off too.” He said and watched as she accepted it and shook her head.

“You waste way too much money on us.” She said.

“My money to waste and I’d rather see you and the kids happy and smiling. It was a rough start to the day. I wanted an easier end to it for you.”

“Well you’ve done that.” She chuckled. “And it’s appreciated. She’s happy with you.” She said watching Lily.

“I’ve had practice.” He said and saw her confusion.

“When my parents split, my mother was diagnosed with cancer shortly after, she beat it, she’s still with us. Dad was off with work and his soon to be new wife and my brother Alex had left for the USA. I was the eldest at home. I practically raised my siblings and believe me there were times I wanted to murder them in their sleep too. But I love them, I’m proud of them, even though I had to endure diapers.” He said softly.

“That must have been rough, how old were you?”

“Sixteen going on thirty.” He grinned. He hesitated, he had to come clean with her.

“Can I be honest with you a moment?” He asked.

“Best way to be.” She said and knew something was up.

“What I’m going to tell you is in the past and has stayed there for the last five years. It’s not who I am now.” He looked at her and saw the lawyer surface. Just like her he had a past and they needed to get it all out before diving into a relationship.

“I’m a recovering alcoholic and drug user. I haven’t done drugs since I was twenty three and I haven’t had alcohol for five years and I plan to stay that way.” He said and looked at her. The hard lawyer was looking back. Fuck! He thought I’m so fucked.

“It’s the past and as long as it stays there I have no problem with it or you. But.” She said gently and he knew what was coming.

“Any part of that life touches me or the four kids in this room, we won’t just be done, I’ll end you. To be fair that’s part of the issues I have to deal with Dana’s family and I will protect them at all costs, even from you.” She said bluntly. No matter how much it will break my heart she added silently.

“Fair enough.” He looked down at the baby cradled in his arms. “I’m not that person anymore.”

“I know you’re not.” She smiled.

“You know.” He said leaning close to her. “You’re beautiful when you let the lawyer shine through.” He said and grinned.

She sipped her tea and almost choked.

“I think you need your eyes checked.” She whispered.

“Nope, still beautiful.” He said in that tone. He knew it made her want him. He could see her body vibrate with need when he said it.

“Even Lily thinks so.” With that Lily squealed and pat a hand on Sildies cheek. “See. You’re outvoted.”

She gave the kids an extra hour before bed to play games with Gustaf and so she could shower in peace.

She put Lily down and got the kids squared away and spent some time with the twins leaving Brendan and Gustaf to talk. She had a book to read to them anyway and it was getting to the good bits.

“I’m sorry for saying that stuff to you today.” Brendan said standing next to Gustaf in the kitchen.

“It’s in the past, let it be, it’s ok. We all grieve differently.”

“No I meant about you not being my dad.” He mumbled.

“Oh.” Gustaf said and it dawned on him. “Brendan we only get one mum, one dad, once they’re gone they’re gone. Yours went way before their time. I can’t replace your father, just like Sildie, although family, can’t replace your mother, no one can. But I can be like one if you want? Or just a friend. Or nothing at all. Ons totally up to you and I’m not going to get all butt hurt with whatever you choose.” He shrugged.

“Either way you slice it I get to hang out with you, it’s all good. I like Sildie. I like the four of you. Let it see where it ends up.” He left it at that. He didn’t want to add to the baggage as Sildie put it.

Brendan nodded. “Thanks for the mask.”

“You like it?”

Brendan looked over to make sure Sildie was in the other room.

“It’s fucking awesome.” He grinned. “She doesn’t like me swearing.”

“Don’t let her catch you then.” And he winked.

The kid caught him off guard and hugged him, tight. Gustaf wrapped his arms around him and held the kid close. He needed a dad like hug, an older male that ’got it’.

“Goodnight.” He said and went to bed.

“Night and happy birthday.”

Gustaf made tea and sat it on the coffee table and waited for Sildie. He wanted to snuggle with her and watch a movie. He wanted to kiss her and make love to her but that wasn’t happening tonight like he’d planned.

It was going to kill him to wait that long he thought because it wasn’t happening here on her couch rushed. He would seduce her, take his time with her. Make her tremble for him.

“You look like you’re lost in thought there.” She said sitting beside him.

“Yeah I was sorry.” He laughed. Lost in thought about how he was going to make this stunning woman scream his name all night long.

“Hey, I’m sorry about last night and offering you a drink.” She said hastily.

“Sildie don’t. It’s fine. You didn’t know anyway.’ He said pouring the tea. “Besides it’s good for me. I’m in control. Sometimes I need a reminder that everything good in my life can be fucked up and ruined beyond repair with one decision.”

“Can I ask what’s drugs you did?” She was a little nervous at asking but she had to know what she was getting into.

“Pot when I was twelve, harder stuff when I was sixteen. Alcohol as well until I was thirty three and called it quits on all of it before it ruined my life.” He wasn’t ashamed to talk about it and he actually found it took a weight off him to tell her.

“Thank you.” She said. “For being honest with me about it.”

“Always. There’s one other thing, non addiction thing I want to get out in the open.” He said. “I was married before. Young and stupid.” He chuckled. “Not married now.”

She smiled at him. “We’re all young and stupid at some point in our lives.”

“I would wager you’re the young and not so stupid type. Bookworm.” He said studying her.

It was that look that made her melt.

“Young and stupid with a twin.” She smiled. Twice the fun, twice the stupid.”

“Tell me about him?” He asked and saw her smile faulted a little but she went on.

“We were hellish until our parents passed. That wised us up a little, we were nine. My brother was the rebel, I was, as you say, bookish. I mean take a look around and the profession I went into. Books, notes, study, and research galore.”

“We used to prank the old lady next door. Poor thing. I bet she was happy when we eventually went to stay with my grandfather. Quinn was a prankster, a goofball, but one of the kindest, gentlest souls around. You remind me of him sometimes.” She smiled.

“He used to always sneak into my room and use my window to escape out of when he wanted to hang with his buddies at night because my room wasn’t next to gramps room. Or when we were the twins age he would sneak into my room and sleep next to me and hold my hand. It’s a closeness I can’t explain and now that he’s gone it feels like a part of me went with him. It’ll like I’m missing a limb sometimes.”

“I wish I could bring him back for you.” He said and played with the stray strands at her jaw.

“Me too.”

“Want to watch a movie?”

“Sure. Let me get the hall door real quick and the monitor.” She got up and Gustaf chose a movie on her watch list. He’d seen it before but that was fine. He was more interested in seducing her while she tried to watch it.

She sat the monitor on the table and sat close to Gustaf while they drank the rest of their tea. The kids were asleep, she’d checked and those butterflies had come to sit in her belly again. He’d been touching her all day and wondered if he’d kiss her.

With tea finished and the movie underway he pulled her against him and lay back.

“You realize I’m liable to fall asleep like this.” She said quietly.

“Then fall asleep.” He kissed the top of her head. “It’s not like I have far to go to get home.”

She would have fallen asleep except for the one finger trailing her body. It excited her, aroused her, tormented her. There were times when he’d hesitate to make her think he was going to take it one step further and then back off. His game of seduction was ecstasy and driving her to insanity.

By the time the movie ended she wanted him to touch her in those places he hadn’t gone to. That wasn’t going to happen though. Their night had come to an end and she was emotionally exhausted.

Once against she stood in the doorway and he was going home alone. Fate had decided they had to wait.

“Can I see you tomorrow?” He asked leaning his forearm on the door frame.

She shook her head. “We’re out tomorrow at soccer for the twins and then school Monday.” She said and bit her bottom lip because he was so close to her she wanted to pull him closer and kiss him.

“Dinner in three weeks then?” He smiled.

“Hopefully we can make that one happen.” Her heart rate had soared.

“It’s going to happen.” He said seductively and kissed her temple.

“I’m out of town for a few weeks. I’ll be back for our dinner.” He said softly. “And tea the Friday night before.”

He let his finger trail her jaw as his lips brushed her neck. He could tell she was aroused as her breath hitched as he kissed the one spot on a woman’s neck that drove them wild.

“I don’t want to leave.” He whispered. “Because I want to do more than touch you.”

“I don’t want you to leave.” Her voice wasn’t steady. “But we can’t.”

“I understand, but know that when I get you alone I’m not going to stop until I have you.” He said in that low tone that made her quiver.

“Shall I give you a preview?” He murmured against her ear grinning.

She chuckled. “I think you’ve been giving me a preview all day.”

He lifted her chin and looked at her. Those ice blue eyes looked back and he drowned in them. Cupping his hand at the back of her neck he kissed her. He gently pressed her against the doorframe and had to contain the urge to deepen it and devour that mouth.

One kiss, light, but seductive and it almost made her pass out as he stole her breath.

“To be continued.” He murmured against her mouth.

She looked at him. She wanted more, he could see it.

“That’s not playing fair.” She said with a smirk and let her fingers toy with the fabric of his shirt. They itched to dive under and touch him more.

“If I kiss you like I want to.” He growled nipping her jaw lightly. “I’ll do more than just kiss you.” He kissed her temple. “I want you Sildie, but I want it to be right.” His fingers played with her hair. “For you and the kids.”

“You’re in for a long night when we have our dinner then.” She said softly as he brushed his lips over her neck again.

“Count on it.” He said. “Goodnight Sildie. Inside lock the door.” He smiled.

“Night.” She said not really breathing steadily yet.

She went inside, shut and locked the door and grinned. He’d kissed her. He’d kissed her and she felt giddy. She wasn’t going to be able to keep the grin from her face for the next few weeks.

The weeks away from her and the kids dragged. He couldn’t wait to get home and prepare for their dinner. He thought of her often and realized that he’s fallen for her. For her and the kids.

The weeks Gustaf was away went like lightning. Thank God she thought. Because she was crawling out of her own skin to be with him.

Between her case load and the kids she was heading into Friday and looking forward to their tea date. Question was could they keep their hand off each other until Saturday she thought smiling to herself.

She dropped Brendan off at hockey camp. The kid almost peed his pants with excitement. It was good to see him happy and getting some normality back into his life.

The twins got some rare time with the Xbox, just them, and Lily helped her with some notes and went down without any fuss. She got the boys to bed without incident and settled with some reading for work.

The light knock at her door snapped her out of it and she grinned. Opening the door she had to bite her bottom lip and stifle the groan at seeing him in suit pants and dress shirt.

“You look as if you just stepped off a plane.” She said and invited him in.

“That’s because I have.” He said and as soon as she’d shut the door he cupped a hand behind her neck, pulled her to him and devoured that mouth he spent the last few weeks craving.

“I’ve thought of nothing but that moment for weeks now.” He said, breaking the kiss and stepping back.

She rested her hand on his chest. “Give me a moment ok?” Her head was swimming. The guy knew how to kiss a girl.

She went and checked on the kids and shut the hall door. Somewhat private at least she thought because she wanted to kiss him more tonight.

“I’m sorry Sildie.” He said as she came into the kitchen. “I shouldn’t have don...”

She pressed herself against him, wrapped an arm around his waist, a hand at his cheek, and kissed him. His hands found her hips and held her to him as he deepened it.

“I couldn’t wait until tomorrow.” She said breathlessly and his smile was as big as hers.

“I’ve missed you.” He kissed her again. “And the kids. My world has been very quiet.”

“I’ve missed you too. My world not as quiet but It’s been a hectic few weeks.”

“You know.” He said slyly. “I like it when you’re all lawyered up.” He flipped the top button of her shirt open and let his finger wander. “Especially this shirt.”

“And whys that?” She chuckled but let him have his fun.

“Because it’s see-through and I get glimpses of the black lace you have on under it and it drives me crazy. You do that deliberately don’t you?” His lips brushed her neck.

“Of course.” She chuckled and turned the kettle off before it broke into full song and woke the kids.

She turned and made tea and his hand encircled her waist pressing him against her.

“Can you make it over earlier tomorrow?” He asked brushing his lips over the nape of her neck.

“I’ll be over as soon as I get the kids squared away. One down three to go.” And good lord could the man reduce her to goo when he put his mind to it, and his hands on her.

“Hockey camp right?” He kissed the nape of her neck down her shoulder where he’d pulled the fabric of her shirt aside to give him access.

“For two glorious weeks. The twins are at a sleep over tomorrow and not back until late Monday and Lily bear gets to hang out here with the sitter. Which thank you by the way. She’s awesome.” She had to keep talking because his fingers and mouth were making her rethink her decision of waiting until they were away from the kids.

“My agent found her, completely vetted.” His said and nipped her ear. “Turn around.” He whispered and she did without his hands leaving her.

“I like you in heels, you’re the same height as me.” He flipped open the next button down and let his finger graze the rise of her breasts. “I want to peel you out of this.” He growled. “Slowly.”

“We can’t Gustaf.” She warned softly and her voice faltered. “As much as I’d love you to.” She was less than steady at the sensations he was inflicting on her.

“That’s the last button I promise.” He kissed her tenderly. “For now.”

“I’ll wear it tomorrow.” She whispered and trailed her finger down his chin and kissed him.

“Wear something comfortable. I can peel you out of your suit another time.” He winked. “Gives me something else to think about when I’m away from you.”

They sat on the couch so she didn’t have to tidy up her work.

Tea in hand, curled up next to him, she rested her head on his arm that ran along the back of the couch. His hand played with the strands of hair that had escaped her hair clip. He’d never seen her with her hair down, something he’d remedy tomorrow. He wanted to run his fingers through it.

“You’re exhausted.” She said softly. “Where did you fly in from?”

“The US. It’s been a long couple of weeks. Busy too.”

“You should go and sleep after this cup.” She said and leaned forward to kiss him gently. “You’re going to need your energy.”

That sly smile had him growling against her lips and he devoured her mouth again.

His eyes searched hers. “You’re beautiful Sildie. I don’t say that enough to you.”

She looked at him and that slight smile touched her lips before she kissed him with a tenderness he’d never felt from her before.

“Go sleep. I’ll be over as soon as I can tomorrow.” She kissed him again softly. “See what you’ve started. Now I can’t stop.”

“I don’t ever want you to stop.” He murmured.

“The sitter is over at nine so I don’t have to drag Lily out in the weather. I might even make it over for lunch.” It was her turn to let her fingers wander. She loved the feel of his chest under her fingers. Defined and strong.

“Lunch and dinner. When does the sitter leave?”

“Not until I come home.” She said and looked at him.

“Well obviously but... oh.” He grinned as it dawned on him. “Ama gets her own sleepover. Damn I must be tired of it took me that long to click.”

“Only if you want me to stay.”

“Oh I want you to stay.” He kissed her so she couldn’t think.

“Go and sleep. You’re nearly there as it is.” She said and got up. She wanted to get an early night too.

They stood in the doorway like normal and he kissed her again.

“I love it when you kiss me like that.” She said softly.

“I’ll remember to do it more often.” He smiled and kissed her again.

“Go and sleep.” She laughed. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He kissed her again. “Inside.”

“Lock the door. I know.” She chuckled.

How had she fallen for him so hard she thought.

The sitter was early which thrilled Sildie. She had the twins packed off to their friends for sleepover on the dot of nine which made the boys happy from both families as they were spending the day fishing at the lake.

She had enough time to get back home, shower, and find the matching black lace set she planned to have Gustaf peel her out of. She had a casual shirt that was more see through than her work shirt and decided on that and a lightweight pair of jeans. Probably less dressy than she would have worn going out but he said be comfortable. She’d still make him lose his mind.

It was 10:45am by the time she was standing at his door and hesitated. Should she wait until lunch time? Was it too early. The nervousness was back and she almost chickened out.

“Don’t be an idiot.” She mumbled and knocked quietly.

[orangeoctopi7]

History Repeats Itself

: Chapter 1 : Chapter 2 : Chapter 3 : Chapter 4 : Chapter 5 : Chapter 6 :

The boys resumed working on the Time Tape right away. Ford showed his brother how to carefully use the tiny file to grind off the excess bits of metal from the miniscule framework of circuitry. Once Stan got started on his own, the young genius got to work taking apart the Time Tape’s casing, and preparing to replace the circuitry. As they worked, the only sound was the scraping of the file and their mother taking the occasional call for her phone psychic business downstairs. 

Ford was trying to tease the damaged circuits out of their casing with the tweezers he’d used to clean the sand off the new circuits. After a few failed attempts, he threw them down in frustration.

“Where are my needle-nosed pliers!?” He shuffled through all the tools and parts that had accumulated on his desk.

Stan shrugged, then winced as his arm throbbed again.

When another few minutes of exasperated searching didn’t turn up anything, Ford decided to head back downstairs and see if there was a pair among their father’s tools.

“Hey, gimme another ice pack while you’re down there?” Stan requested. The ice bag he’d been using had become nothing more than a sweaty bag of lukewarm water.

“Sure.” Ford nodded as he left the room.

Since the bag no longer soothed his aching arm, Stan picked it up and plopped it into their trash bin before resuming his task of filing down the new circuitry. The water from the bag coated his fingers, making his grip slippery. The next time his right arm throbbed with pain, his fingers twitched, and the file slipped out of his hand. He instinctively grabbed it with his left hand… and snapped the circuitry he was holding in half in the process.

Stan just stared down at his hands blankly for a couple of seconds before what he’d done sunk in. “...Crap…” he breathed. His stomach twisted and his heart rate skyrocketed. Way to go, screw-up, you’ve ruined one of your brother’s important projects yet again!

No. No, this wasn’t going to be like that. Stan looked around frantically, for a place to hide the evidence, for an escape route, he wasn’t sure. Then his eyes fell on the soldering iron. Of course! After thirty years of rebuilding the Portal, he knew how to use one of those! He could still fix it! Sure, Ford had said it was too big for such delicate work, but Stan was willing to try anything at this point.

He laid the circuitry back down in the sand mold as carefully as his shaking hands would allow. It wasn’t a perfect fit, many of the sand grains had been picked away by the first molding, but it would have to do for now. He held the soldering spool and the hot iron just a few millimeters above the first break in the circuitry. He tried to hold his hands steady as a molten drop of metal dripped into the sand, but his emotions were running away with him. His thoughts kept on circling, screw-up, screw-up, screw-up, repeating on an endless loop in his head. His breath was coming in irregular gasps, and his vision was blurring. Instead of sealing the break, the drop of metal was just a couple of millimeters off target.

“C-c’mon!” Stan grunted, sticking the tip of the soldering iron into the molten drop and dragging it to the break in the circuit, like one would drag a fountain pen through a drop of ink. All he ended up doing was melting the metal on either side of the break.

“No. No! No no no!” Stan’s frustration and fear bloomed into anger, and he slammed the soldering iron down on the desk, leaving a scorch mark in the hard plastic surface and snapping the tip of the iron right off. He stared mutely at the smoldering tip as it slowly burned a hole in the carpet. How could things have gone so wrong so quickly?

His instincts were telling him to run, but what good would that do? He was still trapped in the past with Stanford, and he’d just sabotaged their chances of fixing the thing they needed to get home. How would Ford react when he found out?

It won’t be like with the science fair. The logical part of Stan’s brain reasoned. You’ve both learned from your mistakes and grown since then.

But Stan had never been very good at listening to the logical part of his brain. The rest of his brain could only remember all the times he’d messed up before, and how his life always seemed to start a death spiral from there.

He heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and froze. He’d run out of time.

“I’ve got your ice pack. Sorry I took so long, the needle-nosed pliers were all the way down in the pawn shop. I guess dad needed them to work on an old clock someone--�� Ford stopped short when he took in the devastated expression on his brother’s face. “What happened?”

“I--I--” Stan stammered, struggling to form coherent words, much less describe what he’d done. “I’m sorry-- my hand slipped-- I didn’t mean to-- no, no excuses-- I tried to fix it, I swear!”

“Hey… hey, it’s ok.” Ford rushed forward and wrapped his brother in a hug.

“It’s not ok!” Stan cried. “We need to go home, and I just ruined the thing we need to do that!”

Ford glanced over his brother’s shoulder and took in the broken circuitry and the snapped soldering iron. He quickly unplugged the iron before it caught anything on fire, but then returned to comforting his brother. 

“Stanley, it’s ok, it was just an accident.”

Stan frowned down at the ground. “It’s always an accident.”

Ford gently took his brother by the shoulders. “It was delicate, I could have snapped it just as easily.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t. You didn’t break the iron either.” Stan held his head in his hands and gave a hollow laugh. “I could’ve burned the house down. That’d be a new low, even for me.”

“You need to stop beating yourself up so much. Nothing was broken that can’t be fixed.” Ford assured him. “I told you I can form the circuits again, it’ll only take a couple of days and a new soldering iron.”

Stan groaned. “Yeah, nothing that can’t be fixed except the school's property.”

Ford scoffed. “I literally could not care less about the school’s property.”

“And your desk.”

“Trust me, I’ve burnt plenty of holes of my own in that desk.”

Stan just swallowed back tears and leaned into his brother’s shoulder.

Ford patted his back awkwardly. “I’m not mad at you. I’m sorry I always got so irate all those other times, but I’ve learned my lesson since then.”

Stan was maybe on the verge of feeling better when they both heard the familiar sound of an oldsmobile pulling into the parking space behind the pawn shop. Filbrick was home, with his usual sense of timing. Ford could feel his brother tense in his arms.

“...Maybe he went out for drinks with the coach and he’ll just go straight to bed.” The young genius hoped. Thankfully their father was more of a sleepy drunk than an angry drunk.

The heavy footfalls coming up the stairs didn’t sound like a tired, drunken stagger. They heard a muted conversation between their parents, and then the footsteps continued up the second flight of stairs to their attic bedroom.

Ford held the ice pack up to Stan’s face.

“Wha-- Ford, what the heck?”

“It’ll mask any swelling or redness from… your hormone-induced emotional outburst.” They didn’t have time to argue over whether or not Stan had just been crying.

The heavy footsteps stopped, and the door swung open. Filbrick was barely an inch taller than them at this point, and yet his impassive face loomed over them like a colossus. 

“You two left without tellin’ me. Do you have any idea how worried I was?”

“Not worried enough to come looking for us, apparently.” Ford answered flippantly. 

“I had to go use the payphone to call your Ma when neither of you came back in time for the Somners fight!” He informed them. “So not only did I spend money I shouldn’t’ve had to, I cut into her precious client time. You know she can’t take customers during the day anymore because of the baby!”

“Oh…” Ford had forgotten about that particular detail. “Sorry.” He was mostly sorry for his mother. “It was my fault, I was really anxious to get back to my science fair project.”

“And you,” Filbrick turned to Stan, who quickly lowered the ice from his face. “You left without collectin’ your pay! What kind of imbecile does that!? I had to collect it for you.”

“Oh, heh, whoops!” Stan forced on his best con man smile. “Guess I must’ve hit my head one too many times in the ring.”

“How many times have I got to tell you boys?” Filbrick shook his head. “All the brains or charm in the world can’t buy you a meal in your stomach or a roof over your head. What’s it gonna take for you two to man up and start takin’ your futures seriously?”

The two brothers remained silent, both knowing better than to try and answer this rhetorical question. Still, the irony was not lost on them. 

“Well, since you’re obviously not responsible enough to handle this money on your own, I think I’ll hang onto those winnings I picked up for you. Taking out the cost of the payphone, any potential revenu your mother might’ve lost while I was on the phone with her, and a holder’s fee, there should be just enough left for me to pay off your parking ticket.”

“Th-thanks, dad.” Stan said meekly.

“Don’t thank him, he’s taking money that’s rightfully yours!” Ford said indignantly.

“Ford!” Stan hissed, elbowing his brother hard in the ribs. He cast a wary glance up at their father. “H-he didn’t mean it!”

Filbrick stared down his rebellious son, his expression as unreadable as ever behind his dark glasses. Ford glared right back, unwavering.

“Let me clear something up for you, smart guy.” Fibrick growled. “You live under my roof. My sons. My dependents. So until you two turn 18, any money either of you make is technically mine. You’re just lucky me and your Ma make enough that we don’t need to take any of it from you.”

Stan squeezed his brother’s arm tightly and whispered in his ear. “Ford, please, don’t. Just let it go. Please.” He wasn’t sure if he was pleading with his brother not to correct their father’s grammar, or his understanding of how parental stewardship and dependents worked. Thankfully, Ford lowered his gaze and nodded.

Filbrick nodded stoically back. “And clean this room up, it smells like burnt plastic in here.”

[shutupandshipit]

Little Life - Ch.8

Summary:  A baby could ruin his career before it had even started. If anyone found out, he would be kicked out of the Hero Course at the very least and UA at the very worst. Even then, how was he supposed to care for a baby once it arrived? He was a fucking seventeen-year-old boy, not a twenty-nine-year-old omega with their shit at least somewhat together.

…..

Or where Katsuki get pregnant, but is determined to make it to graduation. No matter what it takes.

Pairing: Bakudeku

Rating: T (just for language mostly)

Chapter: 8/16

Previous <- Chapter 7

Chapter 9 -> Next

Master Post

Chapter 8: 6 Months

Just like that, Katsuki had made it through two-thirds of his pregnancy. He frowned down at his phone completely disbelieving. The past six months had gone by in the blink of an eye, even with how long the First Trimester had seemingly lasted. This trimester was easier, far easier with how minimal his symptoms had actually been.

'Three months. I have three months left until I meet you, you little monster,' Katsuki thought idly. Warmth bloomed in his chest, and embedded itself in his cheeks.

"Yo, Kacchan, what's that look on your face? You almost look happy!" Kaminari shouted right in his ear, clapping him on the shoulder as he went back to shoving his things back in his bag.

"Get the fuck off me, Dunce Face," Katsuki snarled viciously, snapping his teeth at the blond and slinging his bag over his shoulder. Without looking, Izuku's hand familiarly slipped into his even as Izuku continued talking to his own group.

Kaminari's eyes dropped to their intertwined fingers, and Katsuki stared pointedly until he glanced back up with a wider smile. "No, like, seriously, man. It's like you're glowing all the time now. So fucking weird. It kind of scares me!"

Katsuki's face tightened dangerously as he smiled back. "Are you truing to have a funeral, Dunce Face? I can arrange that for you right now, if you want."

A hand came down over Kaminari's mouth, and Kirishima smiled widely as he steered him away. "Your mouth is getting away from you again, Denks. Where's Shinsou? Maybe you can run it at him for a bit." Before they could leave to find the aforementioned hero in training, Mina grabbed them by the back of their school uniforms.

"Don't go anywhere! We're going back to my room, remember?" she asked brightly.

"I'm not," Katsuki said automatically, "I've got shit to do." That being a movie and shamelessly cuddling Izuku in his nest. Well, really, they were going to go to the new hero expo that Izuku was all but salivating to go and then he was going to cuddle the alpha shamelessly. He wasn't in the mood to be dragged around for hours, but he was in the mood to spend time with Izuku.

"Mido! Come on!" Mina whined, and Izuku turned with raised eyebrows, "You know how long I've been planning this! I know you're what he's talking about!"

"You don't know shit, Raccoon Eyes," Katsuki spit back, gripping Izuku's hand more tightly.

Izuku responded, fingers flexing in his. He smiled. "It's okay. You should spend time with them. I know you don't like how crowded expos can get. Iida and Ochako said they wanted to go, so I won't be alone. We can still get together afterward, and that way I can bring back something we haven't watched six times."

Katsuki grimaced, but after a moment, sighed. "Fine."

Mina and the other idiots whooped. They danced around as Izuku pulled Katsuki close with a hand on the back of his neck.

He scented Katsuki liberally in the view of everyone and their mother, rubbing their necks together. Katsuki's omega purred contentedly, and when Izuku pulled back to kiss him, he took the chance to make it a little less chaste than Izuku had intended.

They pulled away with a dopey smile on Izuku's lips. He giggled. "Have fun. I'll see you later."

"Yeah, you too," Katsuki murmured before Mina forcefully pulled him away.

"That's still so weird to me," Kaminari complained, "Like, not only are you gay, but the blatant PDA? I thought for sure you were just asexual."

'Maybe. I'm really just Deku-sexual.' He decided to keep that to himself.

"Okay," Kirishima sang, "That's about enough out of you." He turned Kaminari away with an arm slung over his shoulders before Katsuki could shut him up for good.

"Naw, man," Sero butted in, blanketing Kirishima's arm with his own, "All their fights were totally charged with sexual tension."

Mina laughed, pulling Katsuki along by his hand. "You two are really trying to get hurt today, aren't you?"

.....

A beer sat in front of Katsuki like it had been since he'd been forcefully pushed down at Mina's desk, sweating profusely in the rising temperature of the room. It had probably gone lukewarm an hour ago, but he wouldn't know. He'd been hanging onto the tea Kirishima had discreetly passed him, but he'd started to use the water from the bottle to draw on the desktop.

Around him, the group was loudly arguing about who would win in a fight: pre-retirement All Might vs. the original Hulk. When Sero had drunkenly started shouting about Captain America, Katsuki had almost exclusively tuned them out and just let his omega marinate in the feeling of community.

If he hadn't been pregnant, Katsuki would have enjoyed a beer or two and enthusiastically joined in the discussion, but as it were, he was. And the smell of booze and the swirling mix of his friends' scents were starting to make him a little sick.

Only Kirishima's grounding hand on his knee kept him from bolting. Thankfully, he'd also been fielding any attempts to draw him into conversation.

He didn't see Mina approaching when she flopped into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Kacchan, are you having fun?" she sang, and he contemplated shoving her off him. Weirdly though, he could tell that she wasn't even tipsy. He actually couldn't remember seeing her take a drink since the party had started, and the realization disquieted him.

"Not nearly," he told her truthfully as Kirishima tried unsuccessfully to pries her off.

She pouted. "Aw, you don't like us anymore now that you've got a boyfriend to entertain you."

"Whoever said I like any of you to begin with?" he sneered.

"Drink with us!" she whined, "You haven't even touched your first beer!"

"Don't want to," he grumbled and went back to his drawing. He was trying to figure out what he wanted to put on the onsie he and Ochako had been making. They'd researched how to make reusable cloth diapers, and he'd have to think of a design for that as well.

Katsuki stiffened when her sticky lips pressed to his ear and whispered, "I know your secret, Katsuki. I know why you're not drinking."

He had shoved her from his lap and was out of his seat before he'd even made the conscious decision to get up. His omega snarled a warning in his chest as she blinked owlishly up at him from the floor. "I'm leaving," he snarled, and he was out the door.

The silence of the room broke as Sero slurred in annoyance, "Mina, what did you say to him?"

"Nothing, nothing, I'll go talk to him," she said placating.

He was already stomping down the stairs when he heard her door slam and her footsteps run to catch up. He sped up, almost sprinting down the stairs. He really hated this whole thing where he had to go all the way to the first floor to get to the boys' staircase. While he understood its necessity with shits like Mineta in the dorm, it was making it extremely difficult to run from his quick-footed friend.

She caught up with him on the third floor of the boys' side. "Katsuki, slow down! Let me explain!" she panted as she sprinted up the stairs behind him.

"Fuck off, Mina!" he roared back, and then he tripped, barely catching himself from cracking his knees on the landing to his floor.

She took her chance, tackling him to the ground and pinning him there.

He struggled and snapped at her, but Mina was incredibly strong for her size. Unless he wanted to hurt her by flinging her down the stairs, he wasn't getting away so easily. "Get the fuck off me!"

"No! Let me explain!" she shouted back.

"No! You think I want to talk to you after that?"

"No, but I want to talk to you about it."

"How did you even find out?" Against his will, his rage was leaking away to be replaced by pure exhaustion. How many people knew? Had he really been that careless? If that was the case, did Izuku know and just decided not to say anything? That wasn't like him.

Mina sighed, grip loosening. He took the chance to buck her off, and she careened over him. They lay panting for several moments before she decided to say anything. "I followed you the day you found out. I was worried because you were acting so weird. I saw you throw the bag away. I saw what was in it."

There was a resounding record scratch in Katsuki's head, and it took him a moment to understand. "You followed me?" he shouted, twisting onto his forearms to glare at her, "You went through my trash?"

"I was worried!" she whined back, holding herself up on her arms to look at him.

"Honestly, fuck you. Who does that?" Pushing to his feet, he strode passed her as she scrambled up behind him. "Fuck off, Mina, I don't want anything to do with you right now," he snarled even as she shouldered into his room passed the door he tried to slam on her.

"No, we're going to talk about this," she said adamantly, standing by his door instead of following him deeper into his room.

'Good,' he raged silently, 'Or I'd blow you up in an instant.'

They glared at each other, him safely in the mess of his own design of clothes and cloth and thread, and her by the door. He snarled a warning when she took a step forward.

She huffed. "Look, I wasn't completely sure until just now. You never refuse so much to drink with us. You always have at least one drink even if you bitch about it the whole time. I wasn't going to say anything."

"Then why did you?"

"Because Eiji clearly knows, and for whatever reason, no one else does. Well," her eyes took in the mess, the pervasiveness of Izuku's, Kirishima's and Ochako's scents, "him and Chako apparently. Mido clearly doesn't know or he would be acting way more possessive. Why?"

Katsuki remained silent. He wasn't about to so liberally give up his secrets to someone who had ambushed him in a place where he should have been safe.

"Is it even his?"

A growl ripped from his throat before he could stop it. Did she really think that lowly of him?"

"Then what? You're just planning on giving birth and giving it up for adoption? Do you even want it? You couldn't stomach an abortion, so you're going to do all of this for nothing?" she asked meanly, lips curled.

He flung his arms out to encompass the room, the fabric and the half constructed onsie and the smell of his room. "Them, Mina, they are a them not an it. You really must think so highly of me to think I'd go through all of this and not want to keep them. Go fuck yourself with any uncomfortable device of your choice. As long as it fucking hurts."

In an instant, her face smoothed out and she grinned at him. The sudden shift in mood had him suddenly off balance. "Just checking. Didn't think I could forgive you otherwise."

"Fuck. You. Mina." He sat heavily in his desk chair, carding a hand through his hair. How many people knew? Who was going to out him? What was he going to do if they did? It's not like he could just kill everyone. That wouldn't solve as many problems as he wished it would.

'Hurry up and get here, little monster. My heart can't take much more of this.'

Mina dropped to the ground, crisscrossing her legs and seemingly getting comfortable.

He had a very sudden and violent image of ripping out her throat with his teeth. Now there was an idea.

"So, you're what? Three months out? Two? You're so close!"

"Three," Katsuki grumbled, flopping his head back and closing his eyes, "Now get out."

"What? No! I want to have girl talk."

"I'm still a fucking man, Mina, there is no 'girl talk' that we can share. I just happen to also be able to have pups. Our pregnancies wouldn't even be the same. Make friends with someone else."

Mina was quiet for a moment. "Can I at least join in the next time you and Chako get together for crafts? I don't know how to sew, but I can learn! And I'm great with designs!" Her voice was small and coaxing.

That was something he could work with. "Fine."

"Yes!" she squealed before returning to normal speaking volumes, "I haven't told anyone, you know, and I won't unless you want me to."

"Well, that's fucking obvious or no one would shut their fucking mouths or leave me alone. Let's keep it that way."

"Sure thing. We should get back to the party though. The natives are probably getting restless, and I doubt you want them to see this."

Katsuki lifted his head. "You go. I wasn't in the mood before so what makes you think I'm any more in the mood now?"

"You know they'll ask more questions for days if I come back alone. Just come back with me. Mido will come back soon, and then you can go off and do whatever it is you two normally do."

"I hate it when you make sense," he grumbled, but stood. He took a moment to hide away his projects before following her out.

When they got to the stairs, she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. "Thanks for trusting me."

"I don't really have a fucking choice in the matter."

"Nope," she chirped, and took the lead.

[schrijverr]

Behind the Scenes

This is a story that developed from a small peek into my brain whenever I write the stories you read into a thinkpiece about writing and posting fanfiction. 

On AO3.

Ships: none (unless you wanna ship me with my keyboard lol)

Warnings: none, I suppose, but it does get a little down in the end, I was having a rough day when I wrote this, sorry.

~~~~~~~~~~

I sit on my chair before my laptop. I’m curled into myself as my fingers glide over the keyboard and my thoughts flow out of my fingertips onto the screen.

It isn’t all that late, just past midnight, but it’s already dark outside and in order to see the keys properly I have to turn on the lamp I have on my desk. With the light it’s kind of cozy here in my little nook of the world.

I look to the screen and try to make sense of my own words. I don’t have a fully fledged idea yet, but a vague idea that floated through my brain at some point during the day has inspired me enough to open a new document and start typing.

I now know how this story begins and I see where I am going and how it will end, but the question of how I get there sits heavily on my mind.

I stop typing for a moment and think. If I introduce this character now, it might set some other things in motion and that’ll be good for the plot, but I don’t know how to write that character at all and I’m afraid that if I do it wrong, people won’t like me or my story.

I sigh and realize I’ve started almost every new paragraph with the same word. I hate it when I do that. The story starts to feel repetitive and as a non native English speaker I want to prove that I have a bigger vocabulary than that.

How to proceed?

A synonym, maybe? But I’ll have to look that up and I don’t think there is a good synonym for I. Sighing again I scan the page and think. Maybe I could start with a verb to shake things up a bit or a question. No, not a question that would feel out of place here.

Now I’ve written a few paragraphs again, so I could use the word I used before, but since I used it so many times already I want a bit more space between now and the next time I use it. So a synonym it is, I guess, I think as I open my browser to look one up.

…

There is no synonym for I.

Goddammit, I think. Well, it’s no use now anyway. I’ve decided to write this story in the first person, despite knowing I’m horrible at it, and now I have to deal with the fact that I don’t have another word for I.

I start my next paragr- no that’s not right. Backspace, backspace. Moving on to the next- No, not that either. Backspace, backspace. I look at what I’ve written last and wonder why I’ve written something upon which I can’t, hmm, what’s a good word there?

I know I have a good word in Dutch ‘voortborduren’, but when I translate it, it gives me elaborate, which doesn’t fit in the sentence at all. Mentally groaning I recline in my chair as I try to think.

Maybe it’s the sentence itself? Lets see what did I write again? Oh yeah: I look at what I’ve written last and wonder why I’ve written something upon which I can’t- and then I need to find a word. Hm, funny, I don’t know how to go on by the sentence about not knowing how to go on.

‘I look at what I’ve written last and wonder why I’ve written something upon which I can’t’, I whisper it to myself in the hope the right word comes to mind.

First there is nothing, but then! Expand! Not perfect, but it fits, which is good enough for now, maybe when I proof read it a better word will come to me and I can use that.

So, expand. I wonder why I wrote something I can’t expand upon.

Fuck, I’ve spend so much time finding the right word that I have forgotten what I was talking, well writing, about in the first place. Softly swearing under my breath I scroll up and read what came before the sentence with the stupidly hard word to think off.

Ah yeah, it was about the other stupid thing, namely that I am writing this in the first person, which I still cannot do, no that skill has not come to me in the time it took to look up a word. What a pity.

But I have started the last few paragraphs with something other than I from time to time. That at least is something. Wait, should I add punctuation there? That, at least, is something. Looks better, but maybe that is just my love for commas talking. I mean, why write a boring sentence with a dot in the middle, which makes it short and doesn’t give you enough space to play with it, when you can also add unnecessary punctuation, so that you can play with the cadence of how something is read out loud or in someones mind?

Whoops, now that whole paragraph is long, if I want to make this story easy to read I’ll have to make this one shorter. Hmm, is this good? Yeah, probably. Enter.

Now, I’m suddenly wondering, if paragraph is even the right word. In Dutch the word is ‘alinea’ and the word ‘paragraaf’ also means chapter, but not really, only in a school book. It doesn’t really make sense, because you also have a chapter in a schoolbook and that’s divided in paragraphs and each paragraph has ‘alinea’s’

Aaand I’ve distracted myself by thinking about the differences between each language instead of looking up if paragraph is actually the right word and it means what I think it means.

I look it up on Google translate, not the most trustworthy source for sentences, but for lone words it’s alright.

It is the right word, along with indention, but I’m not really familiar with that word, although I can see where it comes from with the paragraphs creating indentions in the text. Still, I decide to stick with paragraphs, cause “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” and I live by that.

Looking back to the clock in the corner of my screen I realize that I’ve now been writing this for 40 minutes. It isn’t all that long, but I don’t know where I’m going with this anymore. I had a point when I began and now I’ve forgotten it.

I stretch my arms, by pushing away my chair, leaning forward until my shoulders are at the same height of my desk is. My right shoulder cracks, it has always done that, but the sound snaps me out of my musings and makes me pay more attention to my surroundings.

It is raining outside and I hear people screaming. They sound happy, probably celebrating something and drinking, but I still wondered what they’re doing up so late (ignoring the fact that I am still awake too.)

Right, my word document. I was trying to remember what my point was. No wait, not remember, recall sounds better. I double click remember and replace it with recall: I was trying to recall what my point was.

Although I have found a nice sentences with the best word to describe the action, I still don’t know what comes next. I suddenly begin to doubt myself. Maybe this was a dumb idea. Maybe I’ve read this somewhere before and I am unconsciously copying someone. Maybe I should just delete this and move on to something else.

I mean, come on, who wants to read this? No one. I’m just going to post it, knowing that no one cares and no one will read it. People don’t go to AO3 for original works, you don’t, so why would anyone care about it? It’s going to get five hits tops, with maybe two kudos, three if you’re lucky.

And now I have accidentally switched to a second person perspective, can’t even stay consistent. Maybe if I play it off as an introspection or and internal dialogue no one will notice or think it’s an artistic choice.

Pff, artistic choice. You can hardly call what I’m doing artistic. It’s just fanfiction, a hobby. Yeah, I know that is still good and can be great, even amazing and artfully written, but this isn’t. I have a too direct writing style for that. I’ve only been getting English education for six years and it’ll take so much more practice until I ever reach that level.

I’ve gotten off track completely now. I faintly remember that this started out as a mock internal dialogue of what happens when I write a fanfic, but now it turned into a self deprecating shit parade.

I blink long and hard, trying to get my head back on track and write something better, or at least more consistent.

Realizing that in order to do that I should probably scroll up and read (lets be honest scan) how I started. I don’t have the energy for it, but I force myself to do it with a sigh.

Scroll, scroll, scroll.

Ah, yeah, I began with where I was and then that discussion about language and looking things up. Oh, but I’ve also reflected on what I’ve written before, well, before. Then it was about re-finding what I was doing after I had to look up a word and now it is desperately trying to remember what the actual fuck I was doing in an attempt to make something cohesive, but still. I decide to not do that again.

I still don’t know what my point was when I started this, but I’m making a new one up right now. I think I’m going to call the work ‘behind the scenes’ or ‘the thoughts of a writer’, since I have now decided that this is a way to get readers a peek behind the curtains.

As a reader, I can respect people so much for all the work they put into a story. And of course I’m not saying you can’t do that if you don’t write, no, that would be pretentious, but I do have more respect for them than before I started writing all those years ago.

It is really easy to forget that something you read in a few minutes has taken hours to write. This is not even 2k words long right now. I know I can read that in a few minutes, not even blinking and mostly forgetting, before moving on to the next story, but I have been writing almost nonstop for over an hour now.

I am lucky that I can usually keep the words flowing long enough to make some bullshit up that I can reason into a coherent story in the end, but that has taken practice. A lot of practice.

In order to become a good in writing a story you have to do it so many times and you won’t even notice you’ve gotten better until much later. I know this, because I recently went through all my works and made them better. Got all the typos out there, I fixed vague sentences and I made the lay out better. I also cringed a lot.

Well, I think I have to go with a ‘behind the scenes’ now, because I don’t think I can claim this is my internal monologue when I’m writing. Instead this has turned into a think piece about writing and appreciating it or something.

I don’t even know anymore.

I recall I had a point when I started this, probably thought it out and then my brain decided to throw it away and throw up this garbage instead. It is interesting, I suppose, but not at all what I was going for in the beginning.

Oh well, maybe I can fix it when I proof read it, because I am tired and I think I’m going to bed. I have half the mind to just fuck it and throw it on AO3 without glancing over my own words even once. It’s very tempting to leave others to deal with these honest words and pretend they aren’t mine, but I don’t.

However, I don’t think I will edit this that much, because it was nice to get some frustrations on, well not paper, but on screen. Just order my thoughts, you know?

It is hard to stay motivated when it seems that everyone around you is doing so much better than you. It is disheartening and it makes you want to stop.

I don’t.

I can’t.

Writing is what I do, it helps, it’s nice. I love writing and I don’t think I will stop loving it. But one of the reasons I love writing is because it can get the constant thoughts and ideas to stop swirling around in my head.

Today I needed it to stop, so that I could just go to sleep properly and I feel like this helped. It was honest and I feel better now. Tomorrow can come at me and I will face it like I did today. Maybe my last few fics weren’t to everyones taste and that’s okay, they were my taste and I love them and I am proud of them. For me that’s enough.

I would apologize for ranting, I usually do, but since you could stop at any time and leave, I don’t think I’m going to do that, what I am going to do, is thank you.

Thank you for reading this, despite the fact that it is not a fanfic. Thank you for allowing me to just dump all these thoughts on you. And thank you for being here and clicking it, your support, even if it is only an extra number by “hits”, means so incredibly much to me and I cannot put in to words how grateful I am that you are here.

Since it is now 01:18 and if I recall correctly it was 00:02 when I started, I think I am really going to stop now. Goodnight, or good-whatever time a day you’re reading this!

Goodbye :)

[wildflowergrant]

jealous 

pairing: ethan dolan x reader, platonic!kyle x reader

A/n: Ok but this kind made me swerve to kyle’s lane whoops (pls send in more lol) also sorry in advance cuz this is unedited 😬

You were always closer to Ethan than Grayson, mostly because you liked him. A lot. Maybe a bit too much. Your feelings came up to you here and there when you were teens, and you even broke up with your ex boyfriend because he told you that he doesn’t want you hanging out with Ethan anymore. But now, you can’t control it.

Now, you moved into LA with the twins from the money you made from creating videos on YouTube. You always had them on your daily vlogs and your fans always shipped you and Ethan, which encouraged your feelings for him to get stronger.

But all of that was crushed when you walked into his room and he was fixing his hair. You sat on his bed while he was looking in the mirror.

“Where are you going?” He looked at you through the mirror and smiled a bit.

“I have a date.” You could feel your heart stop and crack in half.

Even though you had heartache, you still tried to play it cool. “Really? With who?”

“Do you remember Miranda? You’ve met her before.”

“Oh, yeah that’s right. You guys hit it off well.” You hates that she was nice. If she wasn’t then you would’ve been more mad, but she didn’t do anything wrong. Ethan walked over to his closet and put on his perfume.

“Ok, I’m gonna head out now.” You walked him out and watched as he drove away and you waved each other goodbye. Once you got inside, you sighed loudly, not realizing that you were holding your breath. And definitely not realizing Kyle smirking at you from the couch.

“Tough love?” You gave him a saddened expression and went to sit next to him.

You put your head in your hands. “I don’t even know, Kyle. I thought that he liked me back.”

He put his arms over your shoulder and rubbed your back. “Hey, Y/n. If he doesn’t see how gorgeous you are, then he’s not worth it. You deserve better than this.” Your head went up and you turned around to hug him.

“Thank you so much. And I’m sorry that I don’t like you back.” He told you many times how much he likes you, and you always feel bad when you don’t feel that same way. The last time he told you was a week ago and you didn’t really respond nicely to him.

“It’s ok, Y/n. You can’t force yourself to love someone. And your heart belongs to Ethan, I get it.” You two pulled away from each other and he smirked at you. “But it wouldn’t hurt to show him what he’s missing.”

“What do you mean.”

“We could do couple-ey things you know? Like go out and eat, be a little more affectionate.”

You took a second to process. “Ohh ok. But purely platonic, right?”

He nodded his head. “Of course. You set boundaries, and I won’t go over them.”

“And this is ok with you?” He nodded again. “Ok, I don’t see why not.” Ethan is already going out with someone else, he wouldn’t be mad about you two.

“Great.  Well, we can start by going out to eat because I’m starving.” 

“Ok, let me just put on something other than pj shorts.”  You quickly put on leggings and a hoodie and headed outside with Kyle.

You guys went to In n Out and sat down when you guys waited for your order.  You two sat close to each other- maybe a little too close- talking about anything.  And what you guys didn’t notice was a group of girls looking over at you and taking pictures of you.

When your order was called out, he offered to get the food while you were sitting down waiting.  You got a text from Ethan, asking if you wanted to hang out.

Y/n: Aren’t you on a date?

Ethan: Yeah, but I’m talking about after my date

Y/n:

Which is when?

Ethan:

idk

Y/n:

well I'm kinda hanging out with Kyle tonight

read 10:33

It took him about five minutes to reply.

Ethan:

K

You rolled your eyes and looked up to see Kyle holding a tray of food and two cups of soda.  A smiled appeared on your face and you got the drinks and set up the food.  He sat next to you and put his hands around your shoulder while eating the fries.

“He text me.” You saw his fist tighten up for a second but he let go.

“What did he say?” You shrugged and finished eating. “He asked me to hang out after, but he’s still on his date.”  

“Why would he text you when he’s on a date still?” “I don’t know.  But I just told him that I’m hanging out with you tonight.”

You two kept on eating and when you were finished, you headed back to his car.  You told him didn’t want to go back home yet, so he said that he would take the long way home.

There was loud music that yo were singing along to and he was laughing so hard you thought that he was going to swerve.  He lowered the music and went on to talk.

“Hey, do you want to have a movie night?” Your eyes widened and excitement filled your body. “Oh my god yeah.  Wait, pull over we need too get snacks.” He laughed and pulled into the Ralph’s parking lot.

“Ok, you get the microwave popcorn and I’ll get the drinks.” He nodded and let go of your hand.

When you were walking down the aisle you heard someone gasp beside you.

“Oh my god, I love your videos so much.”  You immediately smiled.

“Thank  you! You’re too cute.” You can tell she was a bit nervous, so you tried to calm her down a bit.  “Do you want to take a picture?”  She nodded her head and gave her phone to her mom.  You two posed and she looks a few photos.

After that, her nerves were gone and she asked you “So, what are you doing?”

“Oh, I’m just having a movie night with my friend, considering all the candy I have.” You held up the candy but you put it down when you felt a hand gently go on the small of your back.

“Hey, I’m back.”  You turned around and saw Kyle looking down at you with a box of popcorn on his other hand.

You looked back at her and you saw her eyes go between you, Kyle, and the hand on your back.You could already hear the ‘that should be Ethan’ coming from her eyes.

“Well, we got to go and pay for these things.  It was nice meeting you!” “You too!”  You two turned to her and started walking but you didn’t see her take a photo of you and Kyle with his arm around your shoulders.

After a few minutes of driving you guys were finally home and cooked all the popcorn and you set up the candy on the coffee table.  When you guys decided what movie to play, you put your head on his shoulder and he has his arm wrapped around you.  You noticed that he likes putting his arms around you, so you took a mental note on that.

“Hey Kyle?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you.  I really had a fun time today.  Really.  It’s nice hanging out with someone without thinking if you should stay friends or if you really want to tell them how you feel.” “Same.  I’m glad that we’re doing this.  And I thought that I wouldn’t like it considering I liked you, but I actually like being your friend rather than.. you know.” While the credits rolled and most of the candy was finished, you fell asleep on him, and he wasn’t complaining, so he fell asleep on the couch too.

Ethan came back in the house expecting you to still be awake and waiting for him so that you two can go on a late night ride, but his hopes were crushed when he saw you sleeping on the couch, head rested on Kyle and his arms around you.  

It’s like a huge truck hit him right there. He was jealous of Kyle. He wanted to be in Kyle’s position, but he’s not, so he quickly went to his room to go to sleep.

And this went on for weeks. He decided to stay with Miranda, even though he wanted Y/n. But she seems to be busy with him.

Some fans. Ok, well all of the fans saw this too. The picture of you and Kyle that the fan took in the grocery store went viral and there were mixed reactions to it. Some liked you two together and even made a ship name while others still wanted you to be with Ethan. And Ethan saw a lot of them. He was tagged in almost every pic that people took of them hanging out and being way too close on his opinion.

Even in the first week, you were hanging out with Kyle a lot more than Ethan. Almost as if he replaced him.

One night, he heard your giggling and his laughs from across the halls and he couldn’t help but look and make sure nothing was happening.

Ethan tried to play it cool and act as if he was going to get a cup of water. He peeked through your door and saw that you two were on the bed, looking at some video. Nothing bad. Until he saw that arm wrapped around you. His blood was slowly boiling and he wanted to rip that arm off of him. A bit violent, but he really wanted to.

The next morning, he saw that you posted a new picture. When he went to you account and saw you and Kyle together. He didn’t want to look at it, but the little voice in his head told him to look. He tapped on the picture it showed you slightly leaning on a sink with a huge hoodie, hair up, and you had a green face mask on. Right behind you was Kyle and he had his hair tied with one of your scrunchies and he had the same green face mask on. When Ethan looked closer, he could see his other arm on her waist.

After a few hours, he was on his explore page and he saw thousands of the same pictures. And again, that little voice told him to look at them. All of them. He wasn’t much for going on Instagram for a long time, but he made an exception. He read all the captions and the were a lot of people freaking out.

“Oh my god guys look at his hand.”

“Ok but why do I kind of ship them together now.”

“Ugh this is literal relationship goals.”

“It’s so cute how he has one of her scrunchies in his hair.”

And one after another, they got worse.

“Ok I prefer her to be with Kyle than Ethan.”

“Ethan who?”

“Looks like Ethan was replaced.”

“Guys she’s wearing his hoodie isn’t that cute.”

That one killed him. A knife right to his heart. He swiped to see a pic of Kyle in the same hoodie you were wearing in your post.  Ethan was so upset that you were letting this happen.  Usually you would only let Ethan be close to you like that, but Kyle?  That was unheard of.  Of course, you two were good friends and he would help film for some of you videos, but nothing other than that.

He decided that he shouldn’t  dwell too much on it, and that it would go away soon.  And although it was horrible of him to do that, he kept on dating Miranda to keep his mind off of things.

The next day, you were going out with your friends to eat out and shop, while Grayson told him t come with him for brunch.  He woke up to an empty house and got ready to meet Gray at their usual breakfast spot.  When he got there, he was greeted by the last person he wanted to meet.  Kyle.

“Hey, E what’s up?”  He glared at him and stayed silent.  Kyle  followed him to show where they were sitting.  

Throughout the whole entire time, it was just Kyle and Grayson talking with Ethan giving them the silent treatment and making annoyed sounds every now and then.

“So, Kyle.  What’s up with you and Y/n?”  Ethan tensed up and his heart ached.  He looked over at Kyle and he had a smirk on his face that he just wanted to wipe off.  

“What do you mean? There’s nothing between us.  Just friends, man.”  Gray gave him the ‘ok sure’ look.  “I swear, dude! She’s just my friend.  That’s it.”

“Well, that’s not what I see.” Ethan couldn’t keep it in, but he couldn’t just storm out without getting at least a hundred questions.  “I mean, you guys hang out so much and there’s so much flirting.  And don’t get me started with those instagram posts shipping you two together.”

Kyle just smiled, shook his head, and looked down to eat another piece of his toast.  Ethan’s fist were balled up under the table and his face was slowly turning red.  Gray looked at him with a concerned look and spoke trough the food in his mouth. “E, you good?”  Although it was so nasty looking at his food in his mouth, he didn’t car at this point.

“Yeah.  I’m fine.  I just don't feel that well.” He nodded and smiled.

“Well, don't go too close to Kyle, or else he’s going to kiss Y/n and get her sick too.” He laughed and Kyle just laughed it off.  Ethan just brought out an awkward laugh and pulled out his phone.   He never told anybody of his long time crush on you.  Even Grayson, which was probably a mistake considering his dilemma right now.  He was too shy to do anything about it and too embarrassed to tell Gray, since he always saw you “as a sister”.  

Now, he was paying for it.  He couldn’t stand the nonstop jokes coming from Grayson and he hated how Kyle didn’t get mad at any of that.  Then, all of his pent up anger got out after the last comment that Gray made.

“Hey, stop denying it.  I hear those little laughs coming from the bed and some nights I even hear the bed squeaking.”  He started to imitate sounds of a bed creaking back and forth and Kyle started laughing.

Ethan abruptly stood up which moved the whole table.  Luckily, Grayson’s hot coffee didn’t spill on him, even though Ethan wanted it to.  With everyone looking at him, he left the cafe and started to drive off.  He still had the right mind to know that he can’t drive when he’s angry and has too much on his mind, so he tried to go home as quickly as he can.

He parked his jeep and went straight to his bedroom.  He plopped himself on the bed and screamed into his pillow to try and release some of his stress.

The door opened and he stopped screaming and stayed still.  When Ethan heard footsteps coming at his door he immediately prayed that it wouldn’t be Gray asking him what the hell that was in the cafe.

But he heard soft knocks and he already knew that it was you.

“E? Are you ok? I heard you screaming from outside.”  You put your bags on the floor. He felt the bed dip and he almost wanted to cry from hearing your voice.  Even though it wasn’t a long time, you two sort of ignored each other after you started to hang out with Kyle and when he started to date Miranda, which she also just broke up with him anyways.

“It’s nothing, Y/n.  I’m fine don’t worry.  You can go now.” You sighed and laid down next to him.

“I won’t leave until you tell me what’s going on.  You’ve been ignoring me forever.”

“I haven’t been ignoring you forever.” “You know what I mean. And you don’t tell me anything anymore.  I didn’t even know that you and Miranda stopped dating until yesterday when Gray told me.”

Ethan let out an annoyed sigh, which you tried to ignore.  “Well, it’s not like nobody is keeping you company.  Seems like you’re busy with Kyle to be hanging out with me.”

“What do you mean?”  His emotions were getting the best of him.  He knew that he should stop before it gets worse and breaks something, but he just needs to let everything out to you.

“Don’t play dumb, Y/n.  You guys have been together 24/7 and he’s been flirting with you the whole time.” He glared at you and your head tilted. 

Sure, at first you guys did it so that it would get on Ethan’s nerves, but after a while, you guys just acted like that out of habit.  It was the touchy friendship and that was it.

“Kyle and I are just friends.  Nothing more, Ethan.”  You put your hand on his shoulder.

“Well, you seem more than just friends.” He stood up and your hand fell onto the mattress.  He started pacing around, and breathing loudly, which you knew was a bad sign.  You knew that you had to choose your words carefully before he explodes.

“Ethan, you don’t even know for a fact that Kyle and I are dating.  Because we’re not.”  He glared at you and narrowed his eyes.

“Oh really?  Are you sure?  That’s not what everybody else sees.  Even fucking Grayson thinks that you guys are a thing.  I mean, come on, Y/n open your eyes.”  His voice was getting louder and louder after every word.

You put your head in your hands and mumbled out “E.. Why are you so pressed about this?”

His brain wasn’t working at that moment.  Half of him said that he needs to contain himself because he’s starting to be too much for her.  You were crying for god’s sake.  But the other half just told him to let it out.  He’s been holding those emotions in for so long.

Ethan’s fist clenched and his face was red and his jaw was clenched.  He saw the position you were in but proceeded to shout.  “BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, OK?”  You flinched at the tone and volume of his voice.  You lifted your head and your mouth was wide open and eyes wide.

Ethan on the other hand, felt like he just deflated.  His emotions were everywhere and mixed around.  He was sad yet angry.

Tears started to brim his eyes. “Y/n.  We’re more than friends and you fucking know it.”  You looked down, not being able to look at him as you nod.  “But now, I’m having second thoughts because of him.” He spat out.

After a few minutes of not replying, you felt the bed dip and looked over to see Ethan slouching on the other end of the bed.  He was hurting and it pained you to see.  You slowly crawled over to him and hugged him from behind.

Your legs were on either side of him and you laid you head on top of his shoulder and tears started to fall onto his shirt.  His breathing calmed down and after a few seconds, you softly spoke.  “I love you too, E.  So much. So so much.” You kissed his shoulder, moving up to his neck.

He moved his arms and you hugged him tighter because you were scared he was going to leave.  But you felt his huge hands cover yours and he brought it to his lips and kissed both of them.  He brought them down and pressed them onto his chest.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

He tightened his grip on your hands. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

A few more minutes passed after forgiving each other until Ethan broke the silence. “Ok, come on.” He sat up and went to lay on the bed, leading you next to him.

“I know that you’re tired from all of this, so let’s take a nap.” He pulled you into his chest and kissed your head.

You snaked your hands around his waist and put your leg over his. “I love you, E.”

Ethan put the blanket over you guys and laid his head on top of yours. “I love you more.” He closed his eyes, falling asleep happier than ever with the fact that he has you now.

A/n: I had too much fun writing this

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