#I do not read romance books over 150 pages sorry

[ceilidho]

do you have fav secret baby, pregnancy, etc. romances?

I’m a simple girl :)) I love a short smutty romance book

[syms-things-5]

Clear The Area - Chapter Fifteen (Part Two)

**A Chris Evans Story**

Previous Chapter Here

Tags: @jennmurawski13 @kelbabyblue

Warnings: 18+ NSFW, strong language, generally a bit awkward

Notes: This is a long chapter, sorry. Any comments welcome, good and bad.

Chapter Fifteen (Part Two)

“Let me just bring up your booking here, one moment please.”

The lobby of The Langham was an ocean of grey and blue. The sun was shining brightly outside, the hottest day of the year so far, and it reflected in every surface of the space and accompanying bar. It was sparse on the usual detailing, instead preferring a minimalist approach; the check-in desk consisted of a mere iPad and one lily artfully growing from a tall, geometrical glass vase. Random art hung from all sides. One looked vaguely like a donkey, Sarah was sure. There was also what she thought was an ash tray balanced on a pillar to the left of where she was standing but she didn’t dare to investigate it any closer in case it cost the price of a small car.

It had the same over-perfumed odour as the fragrance section of a Macy’s. The tiled floor look so clean and fresh you could be forgiven for thinking it had only just been laid that very morning. Sarah felt a pang of guilt walking in wearing her scuffed Converse. She always felt so out of place in places like this. It was the kind of place she would run a mile from if she had the choice but Greg had an “in” with the manager and now here she was. 

“So that will be four nights in our Executive Suite with Central Park view. You also have the bar allowance of $150 per night. You just need to take the elevator up to the 32nd floor and it’s the second door on your left. Would you like a hand with your bags, madam?” She motioned for the concierge to come over but held her hand up when she spied the puzzled look on Sarah’s face.

“I’m really sorry but I think there’s been some kind of mistake. I didn’t book a suite, just a standard double and I don’t think I pre-paid for any bar allowance. I didn’t even know I could do that to be honest.” Sarah chuckled awkwardly in an attempt to diffuse the tension but it fell on deaf ears. She handed the key card back to the lady, unsure of what else to suggest.

The lady showed practically no emotion at the possible mistake and simply took another look at her records before confirming that she was in fact correct with the initial room choice. “It’s definitely your suite, and...everything is paid for in advance. Could it have been made on your behalf? It looks like it was upgraded yesterday afternoon.”

Sarah wasn’t sure if she was asking her a question or telling her. She couldn’t believe she wasn’t biting her hand off but she hoped she hadn’t made some kind of horrific error her bank wouldn’t forgive her for. She could barely afford the double room she’d booked as it was and she’s sure the college wouldn’t have upgraded her without letting her know in advance. It made zero sense. They couldn’t have that kind of money going spare, putting students up in posh suites. She had no clue what could have happened.

Unless...Chris?

No, it wouldn’t be. He was less than pleased to hear she’d be away as it was. Except...well, who else? Sarah rolled her eyes a little too obviously before accepting the key card back. “That’s OK. I think I know what’s happened. It’s only the one bag. I can manage it.”

The lady nodded her thanks and, smiling politely, pointed her back towards the elevators. Sarah couldn’t move away from her fast enough.

Arriving at her floor, Sarah emerged from the lift expecting someone to come running up to her to confirm that they had in fact made a horrendous mistake. She slipped the key card into her door before pushing her way in to find her new home for the week.

The bedroom was large, uncomfortable so, with the bed positioned just off the middle in the room. Sarah figured the designer for a psychopath. It was big but not as empty as the lobby would have had her believe. In fact, it seemed reassuringly cosy despite the windows, so many windows stretching around the suite. There was a soft blue curved sofa opposite a screen that she’d seen smaller versions of in a cinema. Cushions fucking everywhere and fluffy white slippers she’d probably never take off again.

Everything seemed to be controlled from an iPad set in a stand by the bedroom door; the lights, the curtains, the air freshener, some background music for ambiance if she wanted. The windows tinted darker to block out the sunlight. Even the $1300 coffee machine was remote controlled; she had recognised it from the last edition of Home & Country Jocelyn had mailed to her, the exact one Shanna had been dropping hints about to Chris as a potential Christmas present.

The lounge offered her the clearest view of Central Park and with the light at this time in the afternoon, it was beyond stunning. She snapped a picture and considered texting it to Shanna but thought better of drawing attention to where she was staying. There was no way she could pass this off as a standard room even with her best efforts.

It was almost a shame to waste all of this on just herself. This room deserved romance, she thought.

Around the same time, Chris was on his third beer of the afternoon and lounging on his sofa. He had a new script in one hand, one he wasn’t particularly keen on but offered to read as a favour for a friend. He was so relaxed now that he had to re-read the last ten or so pages simply because it wasn’t landing. The whole room was lit softly by the sun outside. It had gone 4 o’clock when his phone rang disturbing the peace.

“Bernette! How was the journey?” he smiled into the phone as soon as he saw who it was.

“The bathtub is the size of my entire bathroom.” She announced, not giving him room to breathe. She heard him laugh heartily at the end of the line and could picture him looking smug and proud of himself, the dick. “I could have an orgy with the Patriots and still have room left.”

“Hey, don’t go getting any ideas.” he jostled with her. He placed the script down on the tablet to give her his full attention. “So, you like it, huh?”

“It’s...it’s absolutely gorgeous and utterly ridiculous. Seriously, dude, you did not need to do this.” She could sense his growing pride from here. “I’ve never stayed in anything like it. I have, like, a hundred towels.”

“That’s why I did it in the first place. Not for the towels, obviously, but just because you deserved something different. Something nice.” He enthused. “Don’t fight me on this, Bernette.”

“You should see the view. It’s so beautiful. I think I can see the museum.” She was stood on her tiptoes, pressed against the glass, looking at the tiny people milling around on the street so far below her. 

“i know,” he responded. “You’ll be there for a week and best to be comfortable, right?”

She didn’t want to argue with him. She was tired and extremely grateful for the kind gesture. She’d be able to enjoy the place and her time in the City more if she could firmly separate her work from any space in which she could chill out. It wasn’t like she was going to be raving all night nor have much chance to see places at this rate, so more space was probably a good thing. She hadn’t had an unbroken night’s sleep in...she couldn’t even remember when.

“Thank you, Chris.” she spoke softly after a brief pause.

“You’re welcome.”

She put her phone down on the bedside table and set about removing her clothes from her suitcase. Well, “clothes” in the loose sense. What she’d packed was basically gym gear, sweat pants, t-shirts, nothing remotely attractive, and a simple paid of black trousers for the exam day itself. Who was going to see her anyway? Shanna had thrown a jumper in the mix without her realising, dismayed at her insistence that she was not going out to bars to hook up with someone.

“But you’ll be gone the next day! It’s. The. Perfect. Crime!” Shanna had said, exasperated and throwing her hands in the air in dismay.

The majority of space in her suitcase has been taken up with journals and textbooks, ones she hadn’t see since she left medical school and had long since expected she would never see again. Funny what opportunities life threw at you when you least expected it.

She was soon feeling the push and pull of the day and had planned on spending at least a couple of hours studying that evening, so she had a clean-up and threw on the first set of sweatpants that fell out of the closet. She tied her hair up and out of her face, pulled out her notepad and switched her Macbook on. The TV was showing some repeat of a gameshow with the sound on low, more for background company than anything else, and she finally figured out how to get the coffee machine working thanks to a small tome buried inside a drawer underneath the coffee table.

Chris 9.44pm: All OK? Need company yet??

Sarah 9.45pm: I love you guys bt I can’t tell u how amazing it is having space to myself. Been a looooong day

Chris 9.51pm: ah

Chris 9.52pm: OK maybe don’t look outside your door

Momentarily confused, she rubbed at her eyes trying to come up with a pithy response.

Chris 9.56pm: well this is awkward...........

Sarah looked at the door and then back at her phone. Looking up at the door again, she unfolded her feet from underneath her and slowly walked towards it. Pulling it open, she found Chris looking up at her through his lashes, sheepishness drenching his entire body.

“OK, funny story,” he said. “But I thought this might be romantic and then I got carried away and now I’m here and I can absolutely go if you need me to...?” He half-turned his body in the direction of the elevators. “I’m so sorry, honey. I just thought it might be nice and not at all annoying but it’s annoying, isn’t it? It’s OK, you don’t need to say anything. Dammit, I really thought I pitched this right.”

“Chris, it’s fine.” Sarah finally found her voice to speak. “Honestly. I’m...I’m just really surprised is all. I was not expecting you to...drive? All this way?”

He nodded. “Yeh, I just bombed it down the ‘95.”

Awkward silence fell between them as they stared at each other unsure of what to do next. Finally picking up on the fact he remained in the hallway, a backpack thrown over his shoulder, she moved out of the way and he entered the suite. Relieved, he placed his bag down and turned to see her close the door behind him. He looked mildly embarrassed and she was all too aware she wasn’t welcoming but it was getting late and her eyes had started to hurt a little as she rubbed at them with the back of her hand.

“Fuck, that’s a long couch.” he announced, taking his black suede jacket off and placing it over the armrest nearest to him. He glanced over and saw papers strewn over the coffee table, her laptop light blaring brightly and looked back to her. She was working hard and he had ruined it.

“I am so sorry. First thing tomorrow, I’ll go home, I promise.” He held his hands up by way of an apology but she shook her head in response.

“Stop apologising.” she chuckled. “Do you want a beer?”

He nodded gratefully and looked so adorable that any annoyance she might have felt finally dissipated. “How about I give you a hug and then leave you to it? I need a shower and I can amuse myself in there for a little while. I don’t know why I just said that.”

Sarah laughed again and a little more relief moved through him. He wasn’t sure why he was feeling so nervous when he had been so confident of his decisions in the car all the way here. He’d rehearsed his lines and imagined her big smile when seeing behind the door. He had wanted to stop off and buy flowers but he was so eager to see her, he’d just kept driving. No daydream could live up to the reality of seeing her face up close.

*

He watched her from the bathroom doorway. She was cross-legged on the bed, studying the thickest textbook he’d ever seen with colour-coded notecards laid out across the duvet. He had earlier glimpsed a page over her shoulder but decided against pursuing medicine as a new career when he was faced with photographs of god knows what. He tried to remove the images from his mind by drinking another beer and thinking of Sarah in her scrubs. That tended to work well for him these days.

She looked so cute sat on the bed, her reading glasses perched on the end of her nose. He wanted to come up with a joke, calm the tension a little that had grown between them in the meantime, but she looked pretty hot. More hot than usual and it was distracting. Like a sexy Librarian and for the second time this month he discovered something else he was into.

One pen was stuck behind her ear but she’d forgotten she’d put it there and was now using a different one. Her hair was tied up at the top of her head in a messy bun that she hadn’t touched since she’d arrived, more and more strands falling loosely around her as the evening wore on, framing her perfect, round face. She seemed to engrossed in what she was doing.

He was still a little wet from his shower and pondered whether she would notice if he just whipped his towel off and offered himself to her. There really wasn’t anything he wanted more at this moment in time than to have her touch him, to have her run hands gently over his chest, to tease him a little bit. There’d be some time, he reasoned, and right not it was just was exhilarating to think of her being here alongside him knowing it would be just the two of them for a little while.

He perched on the end of the bed in front of her. She barely moved, barely seemed to notice him. He took one of her blank notecards and carefully placed it on the open page so as not to lose her place. She leaned back slightly, allowing him to gather up the papers and place them in a pile on the floor besides the bed before turning back to lean in towards her, one arm stretching out across her legs. She took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes again. She wanted peace and quiet and he decided to rock up just because he could. He sighed to himself. He was such a dick sometimes.

“Do you mind me being here?” he asked her, fully resigning himself to leaving if she now asked him to as hard as that might be. He’d got so caught up in his idea of surprising her that he hadn’t fully registered just how important these exams were or how well she wanted to do. Passing them wasn’t an option for Sarah; she wanted to knock it out of the park. She wanted to do better for herself and the more he got to know her like this, the more it became his favourite thing about her. And he related. He related perfectly. He knew exactly what that was like. “Cos I can go if you need me to.”

“Chris, I’ve said it’s fine. It’s nice that you’re here. I would just hate you feeling bored if all I’m doing is studying all the time.” She nervously twirled the pen between her fingers while taking in how amazing he looked following a shower, a little steam rising off his skin.

“I won’t get bored.” he assured her. “It’ll be nice hanging out with you. Just the two of us.”

He plucked the pen from behind her ears and she rolled her eyes realising the mistake she’d made. He tucked strands of hair back and leaned in placing a quick, soft kiss to her lips. He smelled like her coconut shampoo and she just now understood how truly spontaneous his trip had been.

“Listen, there’s another reason why I’m here. There’s something I need to talk to you about and I couldn’t wait until you got home.” he stroked her arm gently, looking down into her lap. “It’s been going around in my head and I’m not entirely sure what to say about it to be honest, but...it looks like Jenny’s done an interview with a magazine. A full thing with a photoshoot and stuff and it looks like I might be involved.” He closed his eyes for a second before correcting himself. “Not might actually, it’s pretty much definite that I’m in there for a large portion of it.”

“OK.” Sarah nodded. He for sure seemed weary of the whole thing and she felt for him.

“I just, I know she can be pretty unfiltered at the best of times, so-”

“-but she won’t have said anything negative, right?”

“No, no, not negative. I’m not worried about that exactly. It’s just that...” He was struggling to find the words. “I just didn’t want you to get the wrong idea about us, about me and her. I expect she’ll have this hyper-romanticised view of things and I guess I didn’t want you thinking it was some great love affair which is what I think she’ll spin it as.” He couldn’t quite meet her eye while he was talking. “I’m not proud of myself or of what I said or did at the time but I was low and she was there and it was...easy, I guess.”

He immediately regretted his choice of words. As much as he wanted Sarah to understand, he didn’t want Sarah to think he was dismissive of his relationships in this way. “Matt’s figuring out some damage control with them. Hopefully, it’ll go away as quickly as it comes.”

“You think he’ll be able to clear it up?”

Chris nodded. Matt was a formidable guy and he was assured things would look and read much better by the time it went to print. He placed his hand on her thigh and it was only now she registered just how close he was to surrounding her.  “I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve all too often but when I do, they know about it. I want to make them aware of exactly how I feel about them and I didn’t do that with her.” He dipped his head to catch her eye line. “So, when I do something for someone, it means something, y’know?”

“Yeh, of course. You’re a good guy, Chris. Everyone knows that.” She took his hand and lightly interlocked their fingers together.

“I guess I just didn’t want you worrying about her ‘cos there’s absolutely nothing there for me. Never had been.”

“You don’t need to explain this to me, I’m not going to hold anything against you.” she stroked his chin with her thumb and felt him relax into her hand. He glanced down at the mess he’d made on the floor and started picking a few things back up.

“How much left do you have to do tonight?” he whispered as his lips closed upon hers for a fleeting moment.

“I could do with finishing some notes but...half an hour, maybe?”

“I’ll hold you to that.” he kissed her again and got up from the bed, lifting her books back on top. “Just come get me when you’re done, yeh?”

*

Finishing up in the bathroom, Sarah switched off the light and moved towards the bed. She kneeled alongside Chris who was lying flat out, naked except for the duvet bunched across legs, reading what she assumed was the hotel magazine only to find upon closer inspection that it was in fact one of her medical journals. She giggled as she grabbed the moisturiser from the bedside table and began rubbing a small amount up and down her arms, regarding him as his nose creased up in apparent disgust at something he’d just read. 

“Did you know the body has ten times more microorganisms living in it than actual human cells?! That’s bacteria, Sarah. Living, gross bacteria. All over us.” he looked at her, shock and horror crossing his fine, perfect features. She wasn’t sure whether to pat him on the head or laugh.

“It’s mostly good bacteria, though. Only, like, 1% of it is bad for us.”

“And when exactly were you going to tell me about this?!”

She creased up laughing and flopped on to her side next to him. “It’s all information that’s out there for the world to see. Remind me not to tell you about eyelashes.”

“What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever removed from somebody’s ass?” he asked.

“What? Why is that always a question people want an answer to?”

“I don’t know. It’s just weird. Humans are weird.” he muttered, turning back to the pages in front of him. She was glad he had chosen one without pictures. That was the last thing she wanted to see before falling asleep.

“So, have you learned something new?” she asked, curling her legs under the duvet.

“I have. I think you should test me and if I get a question wrong, you can do whatever you like to me. Deal?” he asked, smirking. She shyly smiled and he tossed the book onto the floor. “Hi.”

“Hi.” She repeated. She watched as his eyes slowly travelled down her body. It was unreasonable how much he managed to disarm her with only a look.

His hand reached out to gently caress the side of her thigh, nudging the duvet slightly down before moving back up to her hip, a ticklish area he’d picked up on the last time they were together. He leaned in and kiss her on the side of her jaw, so feather-like and soft she barely felt it if not for his warm breath she could feel on her neck.

“You smell nice.” he whispered, looking at her from underneath his eyelashes. “We could have showered together, y’know? Save the planet?”

As much as she was getting used to the little things he would do when they were alone, rubbing her arm, tucking hair behind her ears, saying nice things about how pretty she looked, having him here in such close proximity with no else around to distract them or force them into the light...it was getting risky. Not that Chris ever pushed her, mind. He’d been nothing but understanding and respectful and she was grateful for that but also growing concerned he was perhaps a little...bored. Why else would he drive over state lines to see her. None of this was normal and the more time went by, the more she became fretful of what they were doing.

“What are you thinking about?” he kissed her shoulder. “Is it dirty? If it’s dirty, I wanna know about it.”

Sarah smiled and placed her hand on the side of his face, running her fingers gently over his beard. He’d thoroughly given up shaving but she liked how soft it still felt under her finger tips and judging by the breath he released as he closed his eyes, so did he, relaxing into her hand. He kissed her again. She was hoping he’d take charge so she could put off talking to him a little longer but instead, he refrained from pushing them any further and leaned back a little, looking into her eyes. “Talk to me.”

She could feel his hand move slowly and deliberately up her arm until he reached the back of her neck, his fingers playing with the loose strands of hair that had fallen from her messy bun. There was no getting away from this.

“You know you can tell me anything, right? It’s OK for you to tell me what you want.” She could feel his breath on her skin, his voice low and rough. His fingers moved again and she felt them touch her lips, one of them running back and forth over her lower lip until she parted them ever so slightly and his finger softly dipped inside her mouth. He seemed to like that and kissed her again, a little harder this time.

“Just keep kissing me.” she whispered, relieved that se finally got some words out.

He smiled at her, satisfied with her response, and kissed her again. Slow, wet, a kind of kiss that was full of promise of what he wanted to do and it made her whole body thrum with anticipation.

One hand now resting on the bed beside her and the other moved from her cheek back down to her thigh. She was frozen to the spot, this man focussed on her so intently, prepared to give her whatever she asked for, whatever she needed, expressing so much in a kiss that she didn’t register when her hand began moving slowly, grazing a finger ever so slightly over the waistline of her shorts.

“...and what else?”

A little more, he moved his hand until his fingers dipped inside her underwear until he felt her skin, hot to the touch. She broke the kiss momentarily to let out a breath, one hand resting on the back of his neck for leverage as he continued tenderly moving his fingers until he got to where he wanted to be. Feeling her wet for him seemed to spark something inside and she felt him push her carefully until she was lying back on the bed, head just off the pillow, and he leaned over her. He adjusted his hand ever so slightly until she could feel his fingers pressing at her entrance before moving in small circular motions, riling her up.

“Look at me, honey.” he whispered, his voice rough and turned on as he wanted her grabbing at the covers as he stroked her. She tried to but she couldn’t stop her eyes from closing again, zoned out with only his smooth and confident movements to focus on. It was almost getting too much with him hitting her at just the right spot for her to lose herself completely when, just like that, he pulled his hand away and grabbed both sides of her underwear to pull them down and off her legs. The next thing she remembered was the feel of him skilfully grabbing her from underneath her thighs, his tongue swiftly taking over.

It didn’t take long for her to feel like was she coming undone and him feeling proud of himself. She couldn’t fight it and with one arm draped across her lower tummy, he certainly had not intention of letting her get away. Any feelings of awkwardness were soon a thing of the past as she let the gentle, unbridled bliss he was giving her wash over her completely. She honestly couldn’t remember ever feeling anything like this before, she was so out of it. He was covering her completely, her wetness mixing with his own, his beard rubbing against her smooth skin adding another level of pleasure. 

She ran her fingers through his hair, messing it up. His tongue hit her clit again and again causing her to give him a short, sharp pull. His groan was so filthy and deep from within him, she felt it reverberate through her, raising goose bumps up and down her skin.

He wanted her on the edge as much as he felt he was. He wanted her to want him, to tell him exactly what she wanted him to do. He wanted her on fire. He wanted to hear her beg.

Just as she was on the edge for a second time, he stopped and blew softly across her wisps of hair. He chuckled when he heard what sounded like a quiet yet frustrated groan leave her lips, followed by a chuckle, something innocent and familiar. Her hands loosened from his hair as they stared into each other’s eyes, their mutual breathlessness the only sound they could hear.

“Does that feel good?” he whispered, the breath from his words scorching her skin. He moved his tongue just a little lower, not breaking eye contact, and she felt him dip ever so slightly inside of her, his arm wrapped around her thigh and the pad of his thumb taking care of the rest. He did this a second time, then a third, and when he returned to pressing his tongue over her clit, drawing her into his mouth, she was soon grabbing at him in any way she could in a futile attempt to take the edge off the orgasm that was coming at her like a freight train.

She was close. He knew she was so close now and he held his arms tightly around her to keep her close to him. One more swipe of his tongue right....there...and she was gone.

When her breathing even out, she slowly opened her eyes to see him move up and over her, placing soft, wet kisses on her hip, her tummy, her neck, and finally on her lips. He seemed cautious to kiss her, unsure of whether she wanted him to but she grabbed his face with both hands to pull him back down to her, kissing him as passionately as she could manage with what felt like no energy. She could taste herself and it was so much more erotic than she could ever have imagined. 

She felt him smile into the kiss as he carefully settled his body on top of hers, allowing her to wrap her legs around him. He moved the hair that was sticking to her forehead and stroked her face with one finger, gently mapping her eye and her nose and her cheek. She couldn’t reconcile this being the same man who had minutes earlier been so dominant. He had so clearly wanted to say something at that point if only his hardness hadn’t been so distracting. He mover one arm under her neck, using the other hand to move hair from where it had clung to the side of her face. Holding her as close to him as possible and feeling blissful when he felt her legs wrap around his own, he entered her and held still, enjoying the moment.

“We should’ve done this years ago.” he spoke and for a brief moment, without realising, she was pulled from their intimacy, a pang of guilt taking its place.

He was too busy pushing into her, needing whatever she had left to give him. He grabbed at the back of her neck to keep her in place, his face buried into her hair. She felt her skin heat up all over from his breath as he panted at her side. It was more frantic than he’d wanted it to be as he groaned and moaned and pushed his whole weight into her with force. It was really all she could do to just hang on to him as he fucked her deeper, as he surged towards his own orgasm, then letting go when she felt him shudder insider her minutes later. He sounded helpless and as much as he tried to hold himself up from collapsing on her, he soon gave up trying and laid his head on her shoulder.

His warm breath continued covering her skin as she ran her hand gently over the back of his head. She felt him chuckle a vibration into the top of her arm before a wet kiss landed just underneath her ear, a place he had deigned his own after he realised how sensitive she was on that particular spot.

Finally rolling off her to lie on his back, he kept his arm stretched across her lower tummy and rubbed his fingers across the apex of her thigh. She wasn’t sure how long they stayed in this position but at some point he leaned over her to turn the bedside light off plunging the room into complete darkness and they continued to lie there in silence not really sure if the other was asleep or not.

He eventually turned onto his side to face her, keeping a firm grip on her waist. He was across her pillow and she could practically feel the flutter of his eyelashes as he watched her in the dark, a soft outline gradually appearing as his eyes adjusted to the blackness of the room, making out her features. she felt his hand move up and down her ribcage and over the inside of her elbow, another sensitive spot that made her shudder and him chuckle again when he realised she was in fact still awake.

She turned onto her side to face him and his hand moved to her lower back where it finally rested over her hip. She pushed her leg in between his and he seemed content and comfortable in how they were existing in this space, both aware they didn’t have to worry about getting up any time soon. He was running his fingers up and down her spine in slow, circular motions and it felt wonderful. Too wonderful. And there was that guilt again.

“What will you do tomorrow?” she asked.

He took a deep breath in contemplation at her unexpected question. “Gym looks pretty good. I have a book and a couple of scripts, too. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

“I know.” she murmured but he knew she was dwelling on something.

“I wanna be here for you if you need anything and if you don’t, you won’t even know I’m around. I promise.”

“I know that, too.”

She could sense him smile at her even in their dark. “Good.” he said. “It feels nice knowing I’ve made a good decision for a change.”

*

[mediaevalmusereads]

The Leopard Prince. By Elizabeth Hoyt. New York: Forever, 2007.

Rating: 2/5 stars

Genre: historical romance

Part of a Series? Yes, Princes Trilogy #3

Summary: When the devil meets an angel... Country bred Lucy Craddock-Hayes is content with her quiet life. Until the day she trips over an unconscious man—a naked unconscious an—and loses her innocence forever. he can take her to heaven... Viscount Simon Iddesleigh was nearly beaten to death by his enemies. Now he’s hell-bent on vengeance. But as Lucy nurses him back to health, her honesty startles his jaded sensibilities—even as it ignites a desire that threatens to consume them both. or to hell. Charmed by Simon’s sly wit, urbane manners, and even his red-heeled shoes, Lucy falls hard and fast for him. Yet as his honor keeps him from ravishing her, his revenge sends his attackers to her door. As Simon wages war on his foes, Lucy wages her own war for his soul using the only weapon she has—her love…

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: blood, violence, sexual content, rape threat

Overview: I think I’m going to have to put down Elizabeth Hoyt for a while. This is the fourth book of hers I’ve read, and unfortunately, I’ve only enjoyed one of them (The Raven Prince). At first, I thought this book was going well - the premise was fairly intriguing, and I thought Hoyt did a good job crafting our hero, Simon, to be an 18th century rake. As the story progressed, however, I found the relationship dynamic to be fairly uncomfortable, and Lucy, our heroine, is about as interesting as a dishrag. I’m giving this book 2 stars because I truly did see some interesting things in here - I just really wasn’t a fan of the overall romance.

Writing: Hoyt’s prose flows really well and communicates ideas in a straight-forward way. I’d say that it’s about what you would expect out of a romance novel without intending any malice - Hoyt knows her audience, and I think her writing fits in well with the genre.

However, I think Hoyt’s shoe-horning of the fairy tale themes worked just as poorly in The Serpent Prince as in both The Raven Prince and The Leopard Prince. The themes of the tale did not parallel the events of the book as a whole, which made the whole thing feel like a gimmick rather than an integral part of the story. As with the other two novels, I wish Hoyt had done more to make the two narratives parallel one another.

Plot: Most of the plot of this novel revolves around Simon, our hero, tracking down and killing (via duel) the conspirators who were responsible for is brother’s death. To be honest, I thought this aspect of the book was a good one, as it provided a more serious, grave balance to Simon’s otherwise witty, light-hearted attitude. I would have liked to see it more purposefully crafted, though; personally, I didn’t find it particularly suspenseful, mostly because we don’t see Simon planning out his plots or Hoyt focusing on how his inner emotions and turmoil differ from the façade he shows the world. Though I really liked the conflict between Simon’s vengeance and his friendship with Christian Fletcher (whose father was part of the conspiracy), I wanted to see each duel build on the previous one, with Simon becoming more and more intense and obsessive, and to some degree, he does do that, but I think Hoyt could have made the progression seem more deliberate.

I also think that perhaps too much focus on this plot made the pace slow to a crawl after the first 150 pages or so. At this point, Lucy agrees to marry Simon, so the romantic tension for the rest of the book comes in the form of dull moral arguments. Lucy also doesn’t really have her own character arc or plot to compliment Simon’s, so she spends most of her time waiting for him to come home so the two can bang. Her POV isn’t all that interesting, and though she has some sweet moments with Simon’s sister-in-law and niece, they don’t really serve much purpose other than to reveal to Lucy what Simon’s feelings might be.

Characters: Lucy, our heroine, is a country-born lady whose only intriguing personality trait is that she can see through Simon’s facade. At first, I thought I would like her; her dynamic with Simon seemed like it would be good, as she had the ability to see through his blather and wit and render him speechless with her perceptiveness. But the more I read, the more passive she seemed to become. Hoyt tells us that Lucy wants “more” to her life than being a vicar’s wife in a sleepy rural town, but she never really goes out on her own to look for this “more” and doesn’t really specify what this “more” is outside of Simon. Once she and Simon are married, she doesn’t do much; whenever Simon is out dueling, Lucy is either totally accepting (”I understand your reasons”) or moralizing that killing is wrong “because the Bible says so” and “he’ll destroy his soul.” To be honest, I couldn’t see why Simon was in love with her, as she seemed to have no ambitions or motivations, and only serves as a “redeeming” figure for all of Simon’s wrongs.

Simon, for his part, was a tad more interesting. He, at least, had goals and flaws, and was written in a way that really made me believe he was an 18th century rake. For the first 150 pages, his wit and refusal to let people in felt like a great setup, and I was really looking forward to an arc where he learns to share his real emotions with others. Even when the dueling got going in earnest, I thought the conflict between honor and revenge was a good one, and grappling with serious matters while trying to present as a non-serious figure was intriguing. That being said, there were some personality traits of his that I did not like with regards to his relationship with Lucy, but more on that below.

Supporting characters were generally pretty good in this book. I liked the conflict in loyalties that Christian Fletcher had with regards to his family, and I think Lucy’s father and his household staff were written in ways that made them seem like characters out of an 18th century comedy. Female characters were kind and sweet, and even when they weren’t serving much of a purpose, I liked their general air. I even felt sorry for Eustace, the vicar whose marriage proposal Lucy turns down.

Romance: For the life of me, I couldn’t see why Lucy and Simon loved each other. I really couldn’t. It started out promising: Lucy nurses Simon back to health after finding him unconscious in a ditch, and he’s taken with her in part because she can see through his witticisms. I thought this was a fantastic basis on which to start, but unfortunately, it didn’t seem to progress from there. It felt like insta-love: Simon loved Lucy because she was good and moral, and he was self-loathing enough to need someone to idolize and stay with him. But Lucy herself is an uninteresting character with only vague ambitions, and she only seems to love Simon because he’s a larger-that-life character that shakes her out of the country ho-humery. They never really grew as a couple, and even when Simon was emotionally vulnerable with her, she never seemed to be vulnerable back (at least, not in a way that felt mattered because Lucy has no real flaws or tragic past and she’s not hugely hung up on their class differences).

Within the romance itself, Lucy never has an arc of her own. She never really undergoes a transformation; her only flaw, it seems, it that she needs to learn to forgive her husband and see him as imperfect, but nothing in her story shows that she idealizes Simon or sees him as merely a ticket out of the country (which could also have been interesting - a culture shock plot, yeah?). I would have liked her to have a flaw or goal that Simon helps her with so that both characters contribute to the emotional satisfaction and growth in the relationship.

Lucy also never seems to challenge Simon in an interesting way, and most of Simon’s character development within the relationship happens in the last 50 pages or so. Even though Lucy can see through Simon’s wit, she never does anything meaningful to show her husband that he is worth something apart from avenging his brother. Oh sure, she says that she loves Simon for who he is, and they have a lot of life-altering sex (apparently), but most of Lucy’s role in the relationship seems to be that she’s “moral” and “good” and “sexually available,” which Simon interprets as Lucy being a kind of salvific figure. If Lucy had been a witty match for Simon, seeing through him and calling him out in the vein of “you’re not doing this for your brother, you’re doing it for you,” I think it would have been better. But she seems rather passive until near then end, when she does the only thing she can do: storm off in a huff and leave Simon (for all of a day, it seems).

I also think that Simon was way too insistent in bed. To be fair, he is a reformed rake and is utterly obsessed with sex, but that in itself wasn’t the problem (mostly because it felt consistent with portrayals on 18th century rakes in literary fiction). The problem was that it always felt like Simon was putting his sexual needs above Lucy’s emotional ones. He begs to have sex with her even when she doesn’t seem 100% into it (such as when she admits to being sore or hesitant on account of the first time being painful) or at inappropriate moments (such as the scene after Lucy is attacked and stabbed in public and all Simon can think of is “having her”). He begs her to show her body to him and promises not to hurt her, which made me think he was trying to pressure her into having sex more than the two of them deciding to do it together. If Simon’s arc had been more about letting go of his selfishness and putting Lucy’s emotional and sexual satisfaction above his own, I think it could have worked. It would have been consistent with the reformed rake archetype, but as it stands, every sex scene felt like Simon was in control, calling the shots and pressuring Lucy to do things, even when she eventually consents and enjoys the experience.

TL;DR: Despite the intriguing premise of Simon’s story, The Serpent Prince suffers from a passive, uninteresting heroine and uninspired romance, making the novel a rather disappointing conclusion to Hoyt’s Princes series.

[elenajohansenreads]

Books I Read in 2018

#164 - Priestess of the White, by Trudi Canavan

Mount TBR (143/150)

Rating: 1/5 stars

I would have DNF'd this, if only I hadn't bought it specifically because I picked up #2 in the trilogy at a used book sale, on the strength of a lot of people recommending Canavan's Black Magician trilogy. Turns out, this isn't nearly as good that the praise for her other works led me to believe it would be. I have a lot of complaints and basically nothing good to say. 1. Too disjointed. I'm not opposed to brief asides that introduce a new focus character, for the purpose of showing something specific that a main character isn't present for. In fact, I can think of quite a few fantasy works I've read before that use this technique beautifully. Here, though, the narrative hops between characters constantly, and it got to the point where I didn't know on beginning a new scene (or tiny chunk of scene) if the character being introduced was important or not, simply because the jumps happened so often. 2. Not a fan of theocracies. Auraya, our MC, is one of the White, the chosen of the Gods, and she's bestowed both magical and political power because of it. The White keep saying that all other religions are "cults" because their gods "aren't real," the implication being that their own are, and we do see the Gods manifest in what certainly seems to be a real way. But their reasoning never sat well with me--seeing Auraya agonize over saving the souls of the Dreamweavers, in particular, turned my stomach--because of the constant insistence that the White's religion, their way of life, was the "right" one, that they knew best and should convert/rule over others. Um, no thanks? By the time this bothered me, I hoped for a subversion at the end of the book, that the White find out somehow that they're not fully "right." It sort of happened, because Auraya witnessed what looked like another God manifesting to its followers. However... 3. The war is stupid. Evil heretics are coming to invade us because they hate our Gods! Okay, good reason to have a war. But then, after the entire book is spent gathering allies (with two out of the three missions to do so turning out successfully,) there's one battle staged around one big magical throwdown that the White have with the enemy sorcerers, and that's it. Auraya kills one of them, and then the White's leader orders that the others be spared, and everybody goes home? Yeah, because none of the other sorcerers kept fighting? They weren't furious at the death of their comrade and they didn't want revenge or victory? Everything was just over? I was just flabbergasted at how anti-climactic the last hundred pages were. Especially since HEY MAYBE YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY GODS IN TOWN. Hopefully that's addressed in the next book, which I am still going to read, dammit. (Or at least try to.) 4. Worst romance ever. Okay, that's not entirely fair, I've read some awful romances, but Auraya/Leiard is a dumb pairing because a) he was her teacher when she was a child/teenager (it wasn't clear how old she was until FAR too late in the story); b) he's significantly older than her even as an adult, and while I could get over that age gap under other circumstances, he knew her as a child and so it just squicks me out; c) they have no chemistry; d) she's a chosen priestess and he's a heathen (according to the White) practicing forbidden teachings and ohmygod this is a bad idea for so many reasons, but "love" is supposed to trump that, only it doesn't ever seem like love, just like they both get off on the secretive, forbidden aspect of their affair. It's two people being stupid at each other for the sake of sex, and we don't even get to see the sex (yes, I know, this isn't erotic fantasy, but still, maybe if we actually got to see them together in any sort of romantic/sexual sense, their "love" would hold up to scrutiny better.) 5. Unclear world-building. So, mind-reading, yay or nay? Because the White, and apparently a goodly number of the lower ranks of their priesthood, can read minds. Much of what Auraya "learns" comes from skimming the brains of those around her (without their permission, might I add.) The second half of Emerahl's subplot depends on this, because as a sorceress her mind can't be read by the priests, so she needs to avoid or trick them to keep herself safe. Yet, about halfway through the book, Auraya expresses grave distaste for other people potentially reading minds; I forget in what exact context, but she viewed it as a violation of privacy and something no one should be doing. You know, except her, her four fellow Chosen, and however many of their priests and priestesses can do it. Because it's okay for them, they're the "right" religion, after all. 6. Two demi-human races, very little description. We spend a lot of time with the Siyee, child-sized flying humans, yet for a good chunk of that, I had no idea what they looked like or how they flew. And then when their "wings" were finally described, they sounded like sugar gliders, with wing-like membranes attached to their sides, and I'm sorry, but those don't sound like functional wings for full flight at all. I had a really hard time believing that they could lift off from the ground, do complicated dance-like aerial maneuvers, or basically do anything other than glide from something tall to the ground or something shorter. And the Elai, the sea people? Webbed hands and feet. If they have any other distinctive features, I don't remember them, because their part of the story was so short and insignificant it didn't even need to be included--they were the race that turned down an alliance with the White, pre-war. Nothing would have been lost if Auraya hadn't had time to go see them and get turned down.        

[prettylittlelyres]

She Has No Name (excerpt)

This ties into my 150 followers celebration (170 now, as I’m writing this!), so I hope you enjoy this sample from my newest WIP, She Has No Name, a dark academia romance set at a University for the Deaf on England’s south coast. Lots of rain, lots of love, and... ooh... lots of followers, now, so thank you!

Beta readers wanted

Please let me know if you’re interested in beta-reading this either once its first draft is finished, or chapter-by-chapter as I write it. I’m Hard of Hearing and Sapphic but I know my experiences aren’t universal, so I’m still going to be looking for beta-/sensitivity-readers. Or just let me know if it’s the sort of story you’d like to read. You can just read it, too, if you want! <3 Also, please let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for progress updates on this book, and I’ll add you :)

Chapter One Celeste

I run my thumb under the seal of the brown Manila envelope and tear through the waxy paper with my nail, pinching the page inside—smooth and white and decisive—as I pull it out.

It’s mine, all right; my name stares back at me, printed in black, stark against the paper. Celeste Amelia Newman.

The blue-painted walls of my Sixth Form’s hall sway around me, mezzanine railings and balustrades swimming above me, and I look down at my feet. They’re a hundred miles away, imprisoned in tiny cerulean high-tops that I think might be glued to the floor. A swathe of my red-blonde hair falls over my face and gets tangled in my glasses. I brush it away angrily, and read.

Here comes the explanation, the answer to all the questions raised by this morning’s cold email, by this morning’s disappointing UCAS page.

“Your chosen universities and colleges have notified us that you’ve been unsuccessful…”

No Cambridge. Not even Royal Holloway.

I blinked. I read the words on my laptop’s screen again, and they didn’t change. Feeling my parents’ eyes on me as I pushed back my chair, I switched off my implants and stood up from the breakfast table.

I shut my laptop, carrying it up the stairs to my room with drooping shoulders, and a slump in my neck. Closing my bedroom door behind me, I put my laptop aside, and then sat down heavily on my bed, putting my head in my hands.

So that was it, then. I’d disappointed everyone, gone into my exams not wanting Cambridge, not wanting Royal Holloway, and… honestly? Not even wanting to try.

I’d pretended, of course, that every exam had been fine, that I’d answered every question with the eloquence expected of someone who’d attained the grades I’d attained in my coursework, of someone who had actually impressed an interviewer at Caius College, Cambridge. But it had been a lie at every step, and in fact I’d made the decision to give up on the train home… but I hadn’t realised I’d made it until I’d walked into that first exam.

I’d had an interpreter since I’d started school, with a knowledge of BSL even tinier than I’d been. My parents had tried—of course they’d tried—but where were they supposed to learn BSL, twelve miles from the nearest post box? I’d had an interpreter since I’d started school, and she’d taught me English alongside a variant of sign language based on English grammar, but my friends had never learned to sign, and the other kids in my year had never learned to stop staring.

And nor had my interviewer at Caius.

“You know, it’s really inspiring to meet a hearing impaired person who’s doing as well with her studies as you are,” said the Head of English Literature. “I wish my son could meet you.” He didn’t seem to notice me leaning back uncomfortably in my chair as he spoke. “If he could see how good your grades are, how hard you work in spite of everything you’ve been through, I’m sure he’d realise how much more effort he should be putting into his work.” He watched my interpreter, Sarah, as he spoke. I just wished he would look at me, and see he was making my skin crawl, but he didn’t. He just carried on. “Truly incredible, Miss Newman. That’s what you are. Truly incredible.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but all that came out was a shaky sound, and I thought of a dried-out felt pen scratching a weak line across a piece of paper. I lifted my hands to sign, and managed to get out a trembling, “Thank you, Sir.” Biting hard into my tongue, I tried not to grimace, but I doubted I was as successful with that as I was with my grades.

Sarah touched my arm a few minutes later as I left the interview. “Are you OK?” she signed.

I shrugged. “It is how it is.”

“It doesn’t have to be. I’m sorry. Do you want me to say something next time? I know I shouldn’t step in, but—”

“No, I’ll do it,” I said, not realising there wasn’t going to be a next time.

[libralita]

Reread Review

Title: Oathbringer

Author: Brandon Sanderson

Summary: Dalinar Kholin's Alethi armies won a fleeting victory at a terrible cost: The enemy Parshendi summoned the violent Everstorm, which now sweeps the world with destruction, and in its passing awakens the once peaceful and subservient parshmen to the horror of their millennia-long enslavement by humans. While on a desperate flight to warn his family of the threat, Kaladin Stormblessed must come to grips with the fact that the newly kindled anger of the parshmen may be wholly justified.

Nestled in the mountains high above the storms, in the tower city of Urithiru, Shallan Davar investigates the wonders of the ancient stronghold of the Knights Radiant and unearths dark secrets lurking in its depths. And Dalinar realizes that his holy mission to unite his homeland of Alethkar was too narrow in scope. Unless all the nations of Roshar can put aside Dalinar's blood-soaked past and stand together--and unless Dalinar himself can confront that past--even the restoration of the Knights Radiant will not prevent the end of civilization.

Rating: ★★★★★

Original Review

Review:

I am not ready for this.

“You’re close to them, and I’m being watched.”—Gavilar, Page 23

Wait, who’s watching Gavilar?

Gavilar, I think you have a bad interpretation of what “Unite them” means. Who was stupid enough to pick him?

Did we ever find those Listeners who ran away in Words of Radiance?

“Instead, Dalinar had only a handful of new Radiants, and there was no sign of help from the Heralds. And beyond that, the Almighty—God himself—was dead.”—Page 31

We are so screwed.

“Looking for him? You lost your highprince?”—Dalinar, Page 37

Hey, now. You lost a Herald.

SEBARIAL AND PALONA!!

“Along the way they’d picked up Highprince Aladar, a distinguished bald Alethi with dark tan skin. He was accompanied by May, his daughter: a short, pretty woman in her twenties with tan eyes and a round face, her jet-black Alethi hair worn short and curving around her face.”—Page 40

This reminds me: WHO THE FUCK IS MAY ALADAR? In this reread I count and she shows up nine times in the book. I think she barely has a line but Brandon bothered to give her a physical description (that sounds strangely like Vin with her being short with short black hair). Plus she has a weird name. WHO IS SHE???

“Thakka nodded, shouting the ordered. Dalinar reached for some water. He’d beed to meet up with Sadeas and— Something slammed into Dalinar’s shoulder. He caught only a brief sight of it, a black blur that hit with the force of a roundhouse kick. It threw him down, and pain flared up from his side.”—Page 48

Honestly I could watch Young-Dalinar get shot with an arrow all day.

“He glanced to the side, where Sadeas’s soldiers had rounded up some weeping women for Sadeas to pick from. ‘I was looking forward to tonight,’”—Page 52

Now I remember why I feel no pity for his death.

“Storms, Dalinar, at this point I’m not certain a rockslide could kill you.”—Page 52

…True.

“He’s a sliver of the Almighty himself.”—Page 59

Just like the Lord Ruler was a sliver of divinity.

DALINAR, HE JUST WANTS YOUR APPROVAL!

“YOU HAVE BROKEN OATHS BEFORE.”—Stormfather talking to Navani, Page 62

What oaths?

“‘It is you,’ Lirin said. Then he scrambled over and caught Kaladin in an embrace. ‘Oh, Kal. My boy. My little boy. Hesina! HESINA!’”—Page 74

Well…at least one father didn’t die.

“‘That,’ Kaladin said, ‘was for my friend Moash.’”—Page 78

Roshone getting punch is significantly less satisfying. Also FUCK MOASH.

“‘So…some of my spears have been women, then? Kaladin asked. ‘Female, at least,’ Syl said. ‘Roughly half as these things tend to go.’ She flitted up into the air in front of him. ‘It’s your fault for personifying us, so no complaining. Of course, some of the old spren have four genders instead of two.’”—Page 83

Wait, what?

"The way she spoke, she expected to be there when Kaladin...Well, he'd never considered that before, though she went with him everywhere else. Could he convince her to wait outside? She'd still listen, if not sneak in to watch. Stormfather. His life just kept getting stranger. He tried--unsuccessfully--to banish the imagine of lying in bed with a woman, Syl sitting on the headboard and shouting out encouragement and advice..."—Page 111

Oh, Lord….

“Fen’s reply came. ‘‘I will admit that my merchants are intrigued by these Oathgates. We have lore surrounding them here, that the one most Passionate could cause the portal of worlds to open again. I think every girl in Thaylenah dreams of being the one to invoke it.’’”—Page 136

Important.

“‘Why do they refuse you, Uncle?’ Elhokar asked, ignoring the question. ‘Do they think perhaps you will try to usurp their thrones?’

Dalinar drew in his breath sharply, and his guards looked embarrassed to be standing nearby. They backed up to give him and the king privacy. ‘Elhokar…’ Dalinar said. ‘You likely think I say this in spite,’ the king said, poking his head into the room, nothing his mother then looking back at Dalinar. ‘I don’t. You are batter than I am. A better soldier, a better person, and certainly a better king.’”—Page 139

YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A GOOD KING DAMMIT!

“Elhokar shook his head. ‘Perhaps…perhaps I’m a fine king. Not extraordinary, but no an abject failure. But in the face of these events, the world needs better than fine.’”—Page 140

SOBS!!

“‘We all must accept the consequences of our actions, Uncle,’ Elhokar said. ‘I’ve been learning this very slowly, as I can be as dense as a stone.’”—Page 140

This section is going to make me sob.

“Elhokar perked up. ‘Yes! I’ll do it, Uncle. I’ll take a team and reclaim our home. Aesudan is there; if the rioting is still happening, she’s fighting against it.’”—Pages 141-142

OH MY SWEET CHILD JUST WANTS TO BE USEFUL.

“‘It is fitting,’ Dalinar said, ‘that their king should be the one who saves them. I will see that you have whatever resources you need, Elhokar.’ Glowing gloryspren orbs burst around Elhokar. He grinned at them. ‘I only seem to see those when I’m around you, Uncle. Funny. For all that I should resent you, I don’t. It’s hard to resent a man who is doing his best. I’ll do it. I’ll save Alethkar. I need one of your Radiants. The hero, preferably.’ ‘They hero?’ ‘The bridgeman,’ Elhokar said. ‘The soldier. He needs to go with me, so if I screw up and fail, someone will be there to save the city anyway.’”—Page 142

Brandon Sanderson is a cruel man who needs stop doing this to me.

“Dalinar blinked. ‘That’s very…um…’ ‘I’ve had ample chances to reflect lately, Uncle,’ Elhokar said. ‘The Almighty has preserved me, despite my stupidity. I’ll bring the bridgeman with me, and I’ll observe him. Figure out why he’s so special. See if he’ll teach me to be like him. And if I fail…’ He shrugged. ‘Well, Alethkar is in safe hands regardless, right?’”—Page 142

Fuck, now I’m just imagining when Elhokar is in the Cognitive Realm, before he goes into the Beyond he’s just like “I failed…but the Hero will save Alethkar…it’s in good hands”. Fuck, noooooo.

“He beamed.”—Page 142

Oh Elhokar….

“‘Shallan?’ Adolin asked. ‘Are you well?’ No.”—Page 149

And here we begin “Shallan, I’m concerned about you”.

“‘Inappropriate?’ Pattern said. ‘Such as…dividing by zero?’”—Page 150

Pattern is the best.

NO MATING!

“Shallan did spend quite a lot of time drawing you all.”—Page 162

Adolin doesn’t question that Shallan is talking in the third person.

“I’m offended by everyone’s presence. You’re no more revolting than the rest, Mister Highprince.”—Page 171

Oh, Zahel….

“Don’t be melodramatic,”—Page 176

I’m sorry, Dalinar, have you read your book? From the prefaces I’m pretty sure you hold the melodramatic shard.

I wonder if Kal’s captor’s daughter is going to be an Arc 2 character.

“No. We’re nice. We’ve always been nice. I never hit anyone, even when I was mad.”—Page 188

I would love to watch Jasnah try to ram an Ivoryblade down this little Listener’s throat.

“‘My brothers. Pattern, I didn’t kill them, right?’ ‘What?’ he said. ‘I talked to Balat over spanreed,’ Shallan said, hand to her forehead. ‘But…I had Lightweaving then…even if I didn’t fully know it. I could have fabricated that. Every message from him. My own memories…’”—Page 199

Much concern.

“An explosive burst of wind drove him against the wall, and he stumbled, then stepped backward, driven by instincts he couldn’t define. A large boulder slammed into the wall, then bounched away. Dalinar glanced and saw something luminous in the distance: a gargantuan figure that moved on spindly glowing legs. Dalinar stepped back up to the feast hall, gave the whatever-it-was a rude gesture, then pushed open the door”—Page 209

You’re so edgy, young Dalinar.

“‘We’ve been assessing the sister,’ Ialai said, leaning in from Gavilar’s other side. ‘She’s a touch vapid—’ ‘A touch?’ Navani asked. ‘—but I’m reasonably sure she’s being honest.’”—Page 211

FIGHT ME.

“I could literally survive being stabbed with a sword through the chest. I think I’ll be fine with some ruffians in the market.”—Shallan, Page 222

HOW. DID. JASNAH. DIE?! Oh my god, Shallan is so bad at putting two and two together in this book.

“[Ialai] and her husband were too wild a variable for us to invite. Their motives are their own; I don’t think they align to those of anyone else, human or listener.”—Mraize, Page 231

So the Ghostbloods are interested in the human-listener war.

CREEPY YELLOW SPREN!

“None could stand before [Dalinar]; all were tinder and he the flame.”—Page 265

Especially Evi.

The Midnight Mother is still so weird.

Sah’s daughter’s name is Vai. Need to remember that.

So does Ellista’s smutty romance novel contain the secret to the cosmere universe or…?

“Sequels always have to be bigger.”—Page 335

BRANDON SANDERSON!

When you realize that Rock is basically SA’s Sazed.

“‘In short, everyone who might have been able to help us is crazy, dead, a traitor, or some combination of the three,’ [Kaladin] folded his arms. ‘Figures.’”—Page 412

That’s usually how it works.

“‘The Stormfather said their pact was weakened, but did not say it was destroyed,’ Jasnah said. ‘I suggest they we are least see if one of them is willing to return to Damnation. Perhaps they can still prevent the spirits of the enemy from being reborn. It’s either that, or we completely exterminate the parshmen so that the enemy has no hosts.’ She met Kaladin’s eyes. ‘In the face of such an atrocity, I would consider the sacrifice of one or more Heralds to be a small price.’”—Page 415

Jasnah’s plan B is genocide.

“‘Jasnah?’ Pattern asked. ‘I do not think you are paying attention, Shallan. She is not very empathetic.’”—Page 453

Whaaaaaat? Nooooo.

“‘It’s your daughter,’ Dalinar guessed. ‘Her lunacy.’”—Page 493

I’m sure this is absolutely nothing.

Every time there’s a Moash chapter I write ‘FUCK’ above his name. Because FUCK MOASH.

Like one who was born unto himself. A beautiful name! You are who you are!

Isn’t it interesting that Elhokar and Jasnah are both extremely paranoid people? Was it because of something Gavilar did?

Does the idea of fighting in the Tranquiline Halls come from Listeners? Because the best are reborn to fight against the humans and reclaim their land….

“Storm it, Kaladin had been protecting a murderer.”—Page 534

No….

“‘Your Majesty, you’re going to be a woman.’ ‘Fine,’ Elhokar said. Kaladin started. He’d have expected an objection. Judging by the way that Shallan seemed to stifle a quip, she’d been expecting one too. ‘You see,’ she said instead, ‘I don’t think you can keep from carrying yourself like a king, so I figure that if you look like a highborn lighteyed woman, it’s less likely that you’ll be memorable to the guards who—’ ‘I said it was fine, Lightweaver,’ Elhokar said. ‘We mustn’t waste time. My city and nation are in peril.’”—Page 609

Look at that! Look at that character development!

“This is a time to be realistic. A king must do whatever he can for the good of his people, and my judgment has proven…deficient. Anything I have ‘accomplished’ in my life has been handed to my by my father or my uncle. You are here, Captain, to succeed when I fail. Remember that. Open the Oathhgate, see that my wife and child are ushered through it to safety, and return with an army to reinforce this city.”—Elhokar, Page 610

FUCKING END ME.

“The king let Kaladin pull him away, and a good thing too. Elhokar had been fishing in his pocket, perhaps for a sphere to give the exhausted woman. Storms! In the middle of the crowd!”—Page 616

HE CARES DAMMIT!

“‘Your Majesty, it might be best to catch the next highstorm, return to the tower, and report back to Dalinar. He can’t reach us with his visions here, and one of the Unmade could very well be beyond our mission’s parameters.’ ‘We don’t need Dalinar’s permission to act,’ Elhokar said.”—Page 625

Nooooooo.

“‘It’s a good plan, Elhokar,’ Adolin said. ‘Nice work.’ A simple compliment probably should not have made a king beam like it did. Elhokar even drew a gloryspren.”—Page 667

Sweet child is trying.

“[Elhokar] took a drink of his wine. ‘There are few people remaining to whom I can still be a hero, Radiant. This city. My son. Storms. He was a baby when I last saw him. He’d be three now. Locked in the place…’”—Page 734

YOU’RE A HERO TO ME, ELHOKAR!

“Elhokar watched silently as she filled in the shading and finished the picture. Once she lifted her pencil, Elhokar reached past her and rested his fingers on the page. It depicted Elhokar kneeling on the ground, beaten down, clothing ragged. But he looked upward, outward, chin raised. He wasn’t beaten. No, this man was noble, regal. ‘Is that what I look like?’ he whispered. ‘Yes.’ It’s what you could be, at least. ‘May I…may I have it?’ She lacquered the page, then handed it to him. ‘Thank you.’ Storms. He was almost in tears!”—Page 735

HE COULD HAVE BEEN GREAT!!

Oh, Evi dying is even worse the second time.

“Chapter 84: The One You Can Save”—Page 809

Nopenopenopenopenope.

“Kaladin joined Syl and glanced behind the dressing screen, which had been pushed back against the wall to section off a small cubby. Here a child—two or three years old—huddled and trembled, clutching a stuffed soldier. Several spren with soft red glows were picking at him like cremlings at a corpse. The boy tried to turn his head, and the spren pulled on the back of his hair until he looked up, while others hovered in front of his face and took horrific shapes, like horses with melting faces.”—Pages 812-813

And here we have the youngest new Radiant in our crew.

“Elhokar had fallen to his knees. In one arm he held his terrified son, in the other hand he held…a sheet of paper? A sketch? Kaladin could almost hear Elhokar stuttering the words. Life…life before death… The hair on Kaladin’s neck rose. Elhokar started to glow softly. Strength…before weakness… ‘Do it, Elhokar,’ Kaladin whispered. Journey. Journey before… A figure emerged from the battle. A tall, lean man—so, so familiar. Gloom seemed to cling to Moash, who wore a brown uniform like the parshmen.”—Page 819

Please…no….

“Moash pulled the spear free and glanced at the Shardblade. Then he kicked it aside. He looked at Kaladin, then quietly made the Bridge Four salute, wrist tapped together.”—Page 819

Fuck you, Moash. Go fuck yourself. God, I fucking hate you.

I hope Venli is the main character in the next book.

“Ahu giggled at Dalinar. ‘Have you seen me?’”—Page 852

Nothing like drinking with god.

Dalinar can’t even remember Renarin’s age….

“‘I know,’ she whispered. ‘I’m crazy.’”—Page 933

Yep.

Aluminum falling from the sky?

Maaaaaaan shit really hits the fan in this book.

I’m excited to see Rlain and Venli interact.

“A Blade that bleeds darkness and cannot be defeated.”—Page 1078

WAIT DOES THE NIGHTWATCHER HAVE NIGHTBLOOD AT THIS POINT???

“She prompted them, and their leader looked down, the spoke to Anxiety. ‘It’s just that…Thaylen City? This is our home. We’re expected to attack it?’”—Page 1087

UNITE THEM!

So if the world’s ending hold onto Way of Kings for dear life. Got it.

Lift is our lord and savior.

Taln is such a fucking champ.

“I will protect those I hate. Even…even if the one I hate most…is…myself.”—Page 1138

Dead.

So the Dustbringer spren are probably going to be bonding with Listeners so that’ll help with the whole Unite Them thing.

“Elhokar’s son.”—Page 1212

My poor dear!

“‘So you’ll break rocks?” Moash asked. ‘We heard something. Made us want to be near you.’”—Page 1222

By heard do you mean like Moash killed a god? Or do you me like Listener business? Because if it’s Listener business and Moash becomes a Knight then FUCK THAT NOISE! I will never forgive him!!

I’m so mad at Wit for taking Elhokar’s spren.

[rickysanshalo]

More Than a Rocky Start

What: Choosing a topic for a school project is always hard, but it shouldn’t be this hard. Who: Ricky & Ashlyn When: January 11th, before school Where: The school library

Ashlyn was not looking forward to meeting with Ricky before school. After she had said that stupid comment she knew things were going to be weird for them, but she hadn't expected for him to seem like he hated her as much as he did. She got to school about half an hour before they had to meet, going to the library to scope out a good table. Finding one in the corner, she took a seat and laid out her things on the table before texting him where she was sitting. Sighing, she reached into her bag to pull out the yogurt parfait she had made herself for breakfast and a bottle of orange juice, trying to distract herself with the food as she waited for the inevitable awkward interaction to start.

Ricky got to school a bit earlier than they had scheduled but waited until about three minuets till to actually walk toward the library. He took out his phone rechecking where it was she had told him she was and started going that way. When he saw her he coked his head some in greeting and pulled back a chair to take his seat.

Ashlyn looked up when she heard footsteps, sighing when she noticed it was Ricky. "Hi," She said, screwing the lid back onto her half eaten yogurt, and pushing it over to the side.

Ricky looked over what she'd spread out on the table, "Where do you want us to start?" he asked.

Ashlyn glanced at the assignment sheet, tucking a strand of hair behind her hair. "Well we're supposed to do the whole comparative thing within a genre... so maybe pick a genre first? What do you like to read?"

"Horror," Ricky answered in an almost dark voice before adding in, "Mystery too."

Ashlyn nodded slowly, unable to hold back the look that came with the voice he used. "Okay... not a fan of either of those."

Ricky rolled his eyes knowing his brand of humor had gone right over her head. "Do you like romance?" he asked disappointedly giving into the fact that this project would most likely end up being whatever this girl wanted it to be.

Ashlyn rolled her eyes at his question. "No actually I don't. I think it's cheesy and unrealistic, but please keep trying to fit me into some stereotypical bubble. I absolutely love it."

Ricky sighed out of his nose in an attempt to be not so outwardly annoyed. "What do you like then?" he asked.

Ashlyn rolled her eyes once more, taking a sip from her water bottle to keep from saying something stupid again. "Dystopian mostly," She answered, grabbing a piece of paper and writing the two genres Ricky had said as well as dystopian. "I also like fantasy," She added it to the list.

Ricky smiled at himself in a sarcastic manner when she said dystopian. She really was different than every other high school girl who liked The Hunger Games. "I like Sci-Fi," he added when she brought up fantasy. They were closish.

Ashlyn gave him a look. "And what's that smile for?" She asked, shaking her head. "If you have something to say just say it we already don't like each other," She pointed out. Nodding, she added sci-fi to the list. "Satire is pretty good," She said, adding that as well.

Ricky laughed at her instructions, "So since we don't like each other you'd like me to insult you? That would make this better?" he asked again. "I feel like a satire would be pretty limiting movie wise," he pointed out.

Ashlyn "I can tell you're thinking something anyway so you might as well just say it," She shot back. She crossed satire off the list at his comment, putting the pen down on the table so she could pull her hair up into a top bun. This conversation was more of a workout than her dance practices were.

Ricky shrugged, after all if she was asking to know it really wasn't his fault, "I just thought the 'don't stereotype me' thing was kinda funny when you're choice ended up being dystopian," he told.

Ashlyn gave him a look, trying not to say anything rude even though her face did it for her. "And you're just assuming when I say I like dystopian I mean young adult dystopian?" She asked.

Ricky 's eyebrows actually scrunched together when she came back with that one, "What kind were you referring to?" he asked sounding possibly unsure of himself for the first time in this conversation.

Ashlyn 's face softened at his tone, since he wasn't sounding rude or sarcastic this time around. "Well there's the big ones like 1984 and Handmaid's Tale, the latter of which is actually my favorite book. But I also really like The Passage and The Road and there's one I'm currently reading called Never Let Me Go." S

Ricky nodded not actually knowing much about any of those books, "What's your favorite like?" he asked. It would be nice to get something one of them would at least be quite familiar with.

Ashlyn "The Handmaids Tale?" She asked, clarifying his question so he wouldn't have any more ammo if she said something stupid.

Ricky "Yeah," he said nodding to make it clearer. Despite the fact he just said it it appeared he needed to make it clearer.

Ashlyn "Uhm so dystopian future, clearly..." She started, looking up at him. "And the birth rate is crazy low because of all the shit happening in the world, so the government finds women who are still fertile and forces them into sexual slavery to repopulate the world," She explained. "The book itself would do well for the project if we only needed one book because we could compare the book to the movie to the Hulu show."

Ricky made a face at the description. "That's a lot of content," he pointed out. "I mean I don't think dystopian is a bad genre in general. I also think that it has kind of a fear aspect to it so it could be a good genre to compare with horror," he suggested.

Ashlyn "Which is why I said it would do well if we only needed one book, I'm aware we need more than one book so I'm aware that's a lot," She replied, rolling her eyes. "You don't think it's a bad genre after you just judged me for it... okay," She hummed. Looking down at the list she underlined Dystopian and Horror. "Stephen King actually has a few books that fall into the Dystopian genre... if we make one of those books our pick for him, since you can't do horror without Stephen King, we can do horror I guess."

Ricky "I was actually judging you for the dumb dystopian young adult romances, but as long as it's not that kind," he said shrugging. "You're saying let's compare two of his books or like... you want to compare a regular dystopian book to a horror dystopian book," he asked confused by what she was trying to tell him.

Ashlyn shook her head. "No, I'm saying we should compare horror books, but since we have to read multiple I want one of them to be a more dystopian esque, Stephen King one."

Ricky shook his head, "Oh, it's two books from the same genre?" he asked. It really was too early for this. "But yeah, that sounds good," he said.

Ashlyn rolled her eyes. "Three... plus two movies did you even read the assignment sheet?" She asked, shaking her head. "If it takes you a whole semester to read two books, let me tell you that you're in the wrong class."

"I was planning on reading it now," he said uninterested in the way it seemed she was scolding him. He took the paper that was laying between them and let his eyes scan it. "And I can read 150 pages a day easily, significantly more if I wanted to," he added in still reading over the assignment.

Ashlyn rolled her eyes as she circled the word horror in the list of genres she had been making. "Am I supposed to be impressed?"

"Nope just supposed to not think I'm an idiot cus I didn't read a single sheet of paper," he answered with a bit of a snarky smile leaning back in his chair when he finished looking over their assignment.

"Never said you were an idiot, but that's pretty pretentious of you to think just because you're in higher level classes, everyone who isn't is an idiot," She shot back. Watching him lean back in the chair, she shook her head. "You know teachers always say that's unsafe for a reason," She hummed, smirking to herself and leaning over to push the back of the chair, biting back a laugh when it caused the chair to completely fall over.

"I didn't say that," he said wondering where she was pulling these words to put in his mouth from. He certainly didn't want them there. He was too busy rolling his eyes at what she said next to see her push him over. He fell with a thump and it didn't really hurt but the feeling he got in the pit of his stomach was nothing close to desirable. "What the fuck," he said from his place on the floor. He started getting up and there was nothing but anger on his face, she looked amused. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" he demanded but was already grabbing his bag to leave. He was glad he hadn't taken anything out of it yet, "Have a nice damn day," he called already starting on his way out of the library and not looking back once at the girl who was most certainly like anyone else who thought high school would be the best years of their life.

The amusement quickly faded from her face when she realized how mad Ricky actually was. In her defense, she hadn't meant for him to actually fall... just to lose his balance. Watching him get up she sighed, mentally face palming. She was really making herself seem like a good person, wasn't she? Standing up, she quickly followed him. "Ricky wait!" She said, reaching out to grab his arm. "I didn't actually mean for you to fall... I'm sorry."

Ricky stopped but instantly pulled his arm back to himself just as quickly as she grabbed it. "Whatever, we have a whole semester, can we just be... done for the day?" he asked his eyes moving around anyplace that wasn't her anxious to get out of there.

Ashlyn bit her lip, looking up at him. "Yeah we can be done... I'm sorry again," She said, giving him a look to show she genuinely did feel bad.

Ricky nodded at her sorry before turning around again leaving in less of a rush now but he wished more than ever he didn't have to deal with her ever.

[pinkpolkadotflower]

Book ask: 1 - 25 plz. ✌🏼

Sorry it took me a while to answer, and because the post is somewhere in my reblogs I thought I would add the questions again :)1. How many books did you read this year?I read 176 books this year.2. Did you reread anything? What?I reread a few books (few too many to list), but a few by Nalini Singh or the Anne of Green Gables series3. What were your top five books of the year?In no particular order: The Wicked Cousin by Stella Riley, Madness of Sunshine by Nalini Singh, The Tyrant’s Tomb by Rick Riordan, Seeing Miss Heartstone by Nichole Van, Crazy Sexy Ghoulish by G.G Andrew4. Did you discover any new authors that you love this year?Stella Riley, Joyce Harmon, Kerry Greenwood, Janna MacGregor…5. What genre did you read the most of?Probably, no, definitely romance6. Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?I wanted to reread all Jane Austen books, but always put it off…7. What was your average Goodreads rating? Does it seem accurate?I think 4.4 and I guess, I research the books first and only read them if I think I’ll actually like them8. Did you meet any of your reading goals? Which ones?I had a goal to read 100 books in 2019, I think I blew that out of the water…9. Did you get into any new genres?Ehh I don’t think so, but around Halloween I really wanted slightly spooky stories10. What was your favorite new release of the year?Madness of Sunshine or Wolf Rain, both by Nalini Singh11. What was your favorite book that has been out for a while, but you just now read?The Ones Who Got Away by Roni Loren12. Any books that disappointed you?#Girlboss by Sophia Amoruso, don’t know what I was expecting, but it was meh13. What were your least favorite books of the year?There were a few, such as First Impressions by Charlie Lovett, a really depressing (one of the main characters favourite super expensive books left to her by her uncle are sold off when she was away by her parents to keep the huge country house afloat - I would be furious) dual story spanning 200 years about some mystery that Jane Austen never actually wrote Pride and Prejudice I think (don’t quote me on this, I just thought the book was shit) andMe & Mr Darcy by Alexandra Potter, some weird time & fiction/real life travel story where the protagonist meets and falls in love with Mr Darcy, again bullshit… I am just realising that I dislike these sorts of tropes mentioned above14. What books do you want to finish before the year is over?Could not be bothered to start and finish any books in the last days of 2019, but for 2020: new releases by Nalini Singh, Rick Riordan, Ella Quinn and a fuckton of the other 200 books on my to-read list, which just gets longer15. Did you read any books that were nominated for or won awards this year (Booker, Women’s Prize, National Book Award, Pulitzer, Hugo, etc.)? What did you think of them?No clue, don’t really care 16. What is the most over-hyped book you read this year?Ghosts of the Shadowmarket by Cassandra Clare, thouhgt it was disappointing and only really liked one story I think17. Did any books surprise you with how good they were?Act Like It and The Austen Playbook by Lucy Parker were pretty cool which I was skeptical about18. How many books did you buy?Omg no clue, so did not keep track19. Did you use your library?No, should probably check that out 20. What was your most anticipated release? Did it meet your expectations?The Nalini Singh books did, I can never wait until June until one of her series is released, but her debut thriller was really cool, too, expecially because it took place on the West Coast of New Zealand21. Did you participate in or watch any booklr, booktube, or book twitter drama?Nope, apart from stuff that appears on my dash22. What’s the longest book you read?According to goodreads this year it had almost 1600 pages, but it was a collection of short stories 23. What’s the fastest time it took you to read a book?Oh god, I don’t know a short story or novella maybe like an hour, one with 400 – 600 pages maybe three if I’m not interrupted24. Did you DNF anything? Why?Yes, that stupid story collection with 1600 pages, there are 16 novellas and I read to the middle of the 14th and then just gave up, because it was killing off grey cells25. What reading goals do you have for next year?Because I already managed way more than 100 in 2019 I thought 150 books would be possible… but as all I am doing is reading fanfiction at the moment who knows Thanks for asking :)

[parchment-and-petrichor]

Look, publishing community. We need to talk.

About ten years ago, you let the Twilight series take over the world, and with it, naive young girls’ belief that overly protective stalker boyfriends were something to strive for. Since the series’ completion, readers and moviegoers alike have vowed to do better. We hoped to put these toxic ideals behind us with every conversation we had about the problematic nature of Stephenie Meyer’s books. We hoped in doing so, we could finally move forward to read and support more wholesome, meaningful content.

Yet somehow, you chose to invest your money in Sarah J. Maas, and unleashed a whole new, far worse beast upon the world.

Why are we still letting toxic romances dominate the YA genre? Have we learned nothing from the likes of Meyer at all?

Let’s take a step back for a moment. As with her first series, Throne of Glass, Sarah J. Maas set out to write another fairy tale retelling in her latest A Court of Thorns and Roses series. By the time Mist and Fury begins, we’ve all but cast the Beauty and the Beast pretence to the wind. In perhaps the most dull first third of any novel, Feyre is suffering extreme depression and PTSD following the trauma incurred at Amarantha’s wrath. I am wholeheartedly here for portrayals of PTSD in YA. In fact, I encourage it. And given how much of a non-entity it is in Throne of Glass following Celaena’s pre-series traumas, this almost seems like an improvement on Maas’ part. But not when it goes on and on and on for 200 pages. Reading about any protagonist moping in self-pity is a 50-page deal at most. I get we’re supposed to see Feyre’s lack of self-worth at the start of this novel. I get that her trajectory is clearly one of her realising her value and gaining empowerment. Fine. But you can tell that story in 150 less pages. Believe me, as someone who has opened a novel with significant scenes of abuse and trauma, I know what it means to cut back. It pays to trust your reader and rein it in sometimes.

Which comes to one of the most blatant transgressions Maas commits: her lack of editing. Sure, at this point, she’s kind of well-known for her signature long sequels. But larger word counts do not good writing make. This novel could have easily been a solid 400 pages without the faffing about she does in the beginning.

There are some books that really excel in being split into distinct acts. Separating segments via setting or plot shifts can really solidify the narrative, but Maas’ acts can be separated out according to isolated moments sliding along a scale of boring, great, horrifying, and dire. Which is not what you want out of a narrative arc.

I actually thoroughly enjoyed the middle of this novel. For 200 pages, it seems like Maas has begun to atone for all her grievous harm done in her previous works. She introduces some interesting female characters for Feyre to befriend. The friend dynamic of Rhysand’s council is easily one of the strengths of the series and I wish she could have introduced them by the end of the first book. Amren in particular is a fascinating character, who, for a hot second, seems like she might kick some ass in a dark, ruthless, gory kind of way. She and Feyre have a great scene where they’re given permission to go out on a mission and be badass. I was excited to see where this would go and I looked forward to seeing these new battle sisters doing some serious damage together. Unfortunately, there are once more, long interludes where Amren keeps herself locked up, decoding things while the others go out and do the exciting stuff. Until the climax of the novel, the best, most dynamic addition to the cast has been shafted. As are all of the female characters in this series.

Here’s the thing.

For the most part, I like the girls in this book. At face value, they’re great. Nesta, Amren, Mor, and Feyre could all hold their own in battle as easily as they could all have a slumber-party style ki-ki over wine together. But the patriarchal world they’re placed in does no favours for them. Maas’ faerie world is build up by patriarchal traditions, where the men are led by their territorial, violent animal instincts:

“What’s normal?” I said.

… “The … frenzy … When a couple accepts the mating bond, it’s … overwhelming. Again, harkening back to the beasts we once were. Probably something about ensuring the female is impregnated. … Some couples don’t leave the house for a week. Males get so volatile that it can be dangerous for them to be in public, anyway. I’ve seen males of reason and education shatter a room because another male looked too long in their mate’s direction too soon after they’ve been mated.”

This hyper-masculine tradition also happens to heavily feature treating women like commodities they can use and throw away whenever they like. Rhysand, a character Maas tries so hard to pass off as a celebrated feminist, even tells Feyre in the heat of passion that, “I want you splayed out on the table like my own personal feast”. Every single one of Maas’ male characters, including, and especially Rhys, is a product of this tradition. But instead of engaging with commentary about how toxic such a worldview is, Maas just lets her characters carry on in this reality without consequence, self-awareness, or rebellion against it, as can be seen by Rhys’ explanation of women’s place in the kitchen, and Feyre’s subsequent acquiescence to that role as Rhys' partner:

“It’s an … important moment when a female offers her mate food. It goes back to whatever beasts we were a long, long time ago. But it still matters. The first time matters. Some mated pairs will make an occasion of it– throwing a party just so the female can formally offer her mate food … But it means that the female … accepts the bond.”

This old-fashioned, dare I say, archaic misogynistic ideal is just treated as the norm, effectively cementing every other male fantasy writer’s depiction of patriarchal societies as the ultimate world-building feature of the genre.

I don’t know what Maas is thinking, but whatever it is, it’s not cute.

Why are we still putting fantasies set in patriarchal worlds on such a high pedestal? It’s fantasy! What’s more, it’s 2017! You can’t tell me it’s more realistic to write a patriarchal society than literally any other kind in a fantasy world. When Maas, a woman writer creating her own world from scratch, has the chance to do whatever she wants, this is what she gives us?

One of the most horrifying scenes in A Court of Thorns and Roses (which is also shockingly overlooked) is Rhysand drugging Feyre and turning her into his slave whore without her consent. Maas sweeps this under the rug with a quick explanation that is all justified to a.) save Rhys’ fearsome reputation among the other realms, and b.) protect Feyre from the horrors of Amarantha’s kingdom. Just when I thought this particular plot was given its much needed closure (shut it down, Sarah. Shut it down right now!), the slave whore plot rears its ugly head again:

“I had heard the rumours, and I didn’t quite believe him.” [Keir’s] gaze settled on me, on my breasts, peaked through the folds of my dress, of my legs, spread wider than they’d been minutes before, and Rhys’ hand in dangerous territory. “But it seems true: Tamlin’s pet is now owned by another master.”

“You should see how I make her beg,” Rhys murmured, nudging my neck with his nose.

Keir clasped his hands behind his back. “I assume you brought her to make a statement.”

“You know everything I do is a statement.”

The only difference is, Feyre’s aware and consenting this time. Still, the skimpy dress and incredibly graphic touching on Rhys’ part all in the name of creating a diversion isn’t good enough to justify his actions. Rhysand’s created a thinly-veiled excuse to once again, objectify Feyre, touch her inappropriately in front of everyone, and lay claim to her when she’s not his to claim:

“Try not to let it go to your head.”

…I … said with midnight smoothness, “What?”

Rhys’ breath caressed my ear, the twin to the breath he’d brushed against it merely an hour ago in the skies. “That every male in here is contemplating what they’d be willing to give up in order to get that pretty, red mouth of yours on them.”

…His hand slid higher up my thigh, the proprietary touch of a male who knew he owned someone body and soul.

His eyes on the Steward, Rhys made vague nods every now and then. While his fingers continued their slow, steady stroking on my thighs, rising higher with every pass.

People were watching. Even as they drank and ate, even as some danced in small circles, people were watching. I was sitting in his lap, his own personal plaything, his every touch visible to them.

This isn’t romantic, this isn’t sexy, and it’s straight up not okay!

At what point did this series just turn into a horrific Princes Leia/Jabba the Hut smutfic? I know the only ones imagining what it might’ve been like had Leia been chained to Sexy McSexMachine instead of a giant blob are usually the pervy weirdos. Meaning no one in their right minds would want that mental image. Absolutely no one. In fact, the moment that image popped into my head, the final implosion of Rhys and Feyre’s sexual tension was made all the more cringe-worthy. There’s a reason Carrie Fisher spoke so strongly against Jabba and the gold bikini. She knew what it meant to be objectified, something Maas does not succeed in exploiting with Rhys’ choice to put Feyre in these skimpy outfits not once, but twice in this series. While yes, putting her in these outfits is ultimately a con-game, why should he be lauded for still playing by patriarchal rules in the first place? Shouldn’t the correct course of action be to break down those gender barriers?

All I have left to say about that is, I’m sorry, Sarah. You wrote that Leia/Jabba fanfiction. You made your bed. Now lie in it.

I suppose it’s about time to address the elephant in the room: Rhys. Oh boy… I don’t know how someone can pull together a character’s development so offensively, but Maas somehow wins the prize. He spends the entire first book as a lackey to the villain, doing the best he can to humiliate and emotionally manipulate Feyre. Now, we’re expected to believe he’s not only Feyre’s true love (oh, sorry… mate), but a feminist icon? I’m sorry. No. Did we already forget that he drugged her and made her dance for him in Leia’s gold bikini? It happened. I’m not about to let people forget it…

Readers fall all over themselves over him for coming to Feyre’s rescue when she begs to be saved from her wedding to Tamlin. On the surface, he’s set up to directly juxtapose Tamlin’s controlling over-protectiveness by letting Feyre do whatever she likes. Yet there’s still an unhealthy amount of Rhys manipulating situations in order to do what he feels is best for her. Not what Feyre thinks is best for herself, but what he thinks is best. Every single decision Feyre makes is based on Rhys’ influence. Nothing she does is for herself. By making Rhysand’s word law, Maas effectively strips Feyre of her agency, ironically, the one thing Rhys has attempted to help her regain in the first place.

What’s more, I don’t know who any of these characters are outside of their relation to Rhysand. They all revolve around him, because in Maas’ paraphrased words, he’s the most beautiful, powerful, strongest male in the kingdom. I honestly don’t need this overcompensation to make up for how toxic he is as a person. Not to mention, his male friends are nothing but carbon copies of him. Cassian and Azriel share his colouring and Ilyrian wings. I’ve seen plenty of fanart out there depicting the full cast of characters and I can never tell one male character from the another, nor one female character from another. The men (Azriel, Cassian, and Rhysand) are handsome and dark haired, the women (Feyre, Nesta, Elain, and Mor), beautiful and blonde. Again, the only stand-out is Amren, who is woefully underrepresented and poorly used in the novel. When you have a white cookie cutter template for every character in your patriarchal world, you’ve gotta step outside your box to deliver some diversity at some point. Otherwise, everything’s just vanilla with a side of racism.

If you think Rhys is the only male character abusing women in this novel, you would be dead wrong. Every single female character in this series has an honestly triggering backstory involving rape, whether emotional or physical. This novel is undoubtedly the sort of thing that should come with a warning. I’ve seen copies with warnings that the series is not suitable for young readers on the back cover, but it’s both irresponsible to then market it as YA, and not discuss rape and abuse responsibly. In fact, given how frequently Maas uses the rape card and how non-existent any discourse concerning the consequences is, I’d say this is a dire case of romanticising rape. And I’m tired of seeing readers obsessing over series like these en masse. It's doing nothing but perpetuating rape culture.

Mor in particular has a brutal rape backstory. This is made all the more upsetting by how eager her father is to sell her off to the highest bidder, and her desperation to lose her virginity on her own terms:

“I wanted Cassian to be the one who did it. I wanted to choose … Rhys came back the next morning, and when he learned what had happened … He and Cassian … I’ve never seen them fight like that. Hopefully I never will again.I know Rhys wasn’t pissed about my virginity, but rather the danger that losing it had put me in. Azriel was even angrier about it–though he let Rhys do the walloping. They knew what my family would do for debasing myself.”

“I wanted my first time to be with one of the legendary Illyrian warriors. I wanted to lie with the greatest of Illyrian warriors, actually. And I’d taken one look at Cassian and known. … He just wants what he can’t have, and it’s irritated him for centuries that I walked away and never looked back.”

“Oh, it drives him insane,” Rhys said from behind me.

What’s worrying here is that while the men are praised for playing the patriarchal system to protect their women, female characters like Mor aren’t shown the same respect for protecting themselves. Mor’s entire character arc is punishment for her female sexuality, kept completely out of her control. Not once does a female character speak out against her sexual abuse, nor do they seek justice for it.

In a recent interview, Maas has stated that she only writes sex scenes if they further the plot. When literally everyone’s backstory hinges on sex, whether consensual or otherwise, I find that doubtful. If there’s one positive thing i’ll say about Maas, it’s that i’m glad she’s leading the charge for sex-positive female characters. But empowering are these characters really, when they’re defined by their desirability to men and their past sexual traumas? Sure, Feyre has sexual agency, but what else does she have? Especially in a patriarchal world where this is expected of her, and she doesn’t even use this “power” to her advantage…

Look, I’m glad Feyre’s getting pleasured the way she wants it, when she wants it, and the detailed depiction of her sexual stimulation might help girls become more aware of their own bodies and sexuality. But when this is the highest profile series featuring female sexuality in the YA market right now, what kind of example are we really setting here?

Feminism doesn’t begin and end with sexual expression. It’s more than that and Maas’ characters have to join that fight. Especially given it’s one of the highest selling fantasy series in the market right now. Sarah J. Maas is not the feminist role model we need for this generation of girls.

We need more than this.

In short, I’m absolutely shocked and appalled that so many people blindly gave this book 4 and 5 stars. Even those who acknowledge how problematic Maas’ writing is. Is it really worth overlooking blatant normalised rape culture to call something your favourite series? As I said from the outset, we’ve already been there with Twilight. An entire generation of girls fell head over heels for Edward Cullen, a 100+ year old stalker who dictated Bella Swan’s ever action and motivation. Now, here we are again, encouraging a new generation of teens to swoon over this sexy, emotionally manipulative product of rape culture, without any acknowledgement of the consequences.

We need to do better. Starting with readers. Starting with authors. Starting with publishers.

It’s time to hold ourselves accountable for the content we praise and allow kids to read. Because toxic masculinity and rape culture are not values to uphold. We live in a world where the President of the United States can brag about grabbing women by the pussy without recourse. Where old, white men are constantly dictating women’s reproductive rights. Where women are catcalled in the streets and victim blamed for the clothes they wear. Where girls can’t even go out at night on their own without the threat of sexual assault.

Is this really what we want to teach our daughters, sisters, students, friends? That it’s okay, to allow passing men to objectify us, just because they have power over us?

Listen, girls. This is the thing: men have power over us so long as we give it to them. So long as we keep laying down and accepting that we’re weak and in need of defending, they’ll keep doing it. And people like Sarah J. Maas will keep holding to those gender expectations. They’ll keep defining romantic ideals based on hyper-masculine overprotective, possessive men.

It’s up to us to redefine romantic ideals. To tear down toxic masculinity and uplift healthy, equal relationships based on mutual respect.

Because you’re worth so much more than that. You deserve better than Rhysand. Align yourself with people who value you for who you are and not just your body. Listen to them when they praise you for your talents. Accept their recommendations when they stumble across media showcasing aspirational women rising above the status quo. You are more than just an object holding a man’s attention. You are yourself and you deserve the world.

Look beyond the smokescreen of Sarah J. Maas’ works and aspire to be something more.

[cantquitu]

Book anon here again! Thanks for the help, I will check out hat book for sure. I guess I'm looking for a variety? I like books that makes me think and has that emotional impact. I really don't mind a good cry once in a while, haha. BUT I always need to take a break after those emotional journeys so I also enjoy something entertaining and more plot driven. I found that I really enjoy thrillers and mysteries, also anything historical. (1/2)

I think I would enjoy true stories too, I really like watching documentaries. I don't really like fantasy, erotica or silly romance; or those teenager books that are really popular right now, like Hunger Games or John Green. I don't really like allegories (like Animal Farm). I don't think I ever read any poetry that wasn't required in school so I have no idea about any of that. Sorry it's all so vague! I'm really open to try anything! (2/2)

Sounds like a nice variety!!! I don’t enjoy fantasy, erotica, silly romance or YA fiction either, that’s just not my thing. 

Ok, this will be the most random book rec selection ever, because I’m literally gonna go to my book shelves and just pick a few things as I see them! Here goes:

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls - a memoir about the author’s childhood raised in extreme poverty by dysfunctional artistic parents. I got totally absorbed in this.

Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer - this is a beautiful book, amazing story, and it felt so unique when it was first published and I would say it still does. It’s sort of a book-within-a-book and tells two autobiographical stories. It was made into a movie with Elijah Wood, it was pretty good actually. Heartbreaking but uplifting too.

The Psychopath Test, or So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed, or Them, by Jon Ronson. He’s a documentarian and journalist who writes mainly about extremists of some kind or another or the extremes of modern pop culture. Always very easy to read and  fascinating and funny, though a lot more documentary makers and journos/writers are writing in his style now so it’s probably not as fresh as it used to be.

The Son by Philip Meyer - this is a beast of a book, a big historical epic, so maybe not for everyone. It follows generations of one big Texas family over 150 years. It’s extremely violent so I’d say approach with caution if that’s not to your taste. I love American frontier history so this was right up my alley. It’s an American classic in the making, this one.

 Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides - just read this, it’s amazing! it’s been many years since I read it so can’t really do it justice with a description but basically it centres on the coming-of-age of the main character who is intersex, and three generations of his Greek/Greek American family. Even though it’s really epic, it’s really personal and sensitive and funny - just amazing. It won the Pulitzer.

The Farm by Tom Rob Smith - a thriller/mystery. I didn’t love how it resolves  but it’s a classic page-turner and quite gripping if that’s what you’re in the mood for. 

....ok, that was an extremely random selection, sorry! But otherwise I would have over-thought it :)

[andhumanslovedstories]

What I’ve Read (Books 1-6)

in the name of 1) public accountability to actually read 150 books in 2017 and 2) to remember what the hell I read, I’m recapping/reviewing the books I finish.

The Paying Guests, Sarah Waters

Circle of Magic: Sandry’s Book, Tamora Pierce

Circle of Magic: Daja’s Book, Tamora Pierce

Flawed, Cecelia Ahern

The Treasure Map of Boys, E. Lockhart

Real Live Boyfriends, E. Lockhart 

Fiction: The Paying Guests, by Sarah Waters (1/02/2017)

Waters was on my radar for years (which is the cultured way of saying, “In high I used to watch clips of kissing scenes from her tv adaptations to Feel Things”) but I didn’t read her until last year. I expected an eat-your-vegetables-this-is-good-for-you type of literature with beautiful prose and a turgid plot where women exchange meaningful glances of a love they dare not speak, for they’ve only heard gayness whispered about if they’ve heard anything at all. Instead, I got hardcore bonetown. I got high drama, intrigue, suspense, communities of openly queer women in historical time periods, and just. so. much. boning. the. hell. down. The Paying Guests continues the trend of baroque drama lesbians, this time in the 1920s when a genteel but newly poor mother and her spinster daughter must take in a young couple as lodgers. I’d recommend Tipping the Velvet as your intro to Waters’ wet and wild work, but The Paying Guests is a solid romance turned crime novel, as Frances and Lillian fall in love and struggle against Victorian, Edwardian, and Jazz Age expectations of what a women should be. Also murder. They struggle against some murder too, which does cut into the deeply literary boning. 

Fiction: Circle of Magic: Sandry’s Book and Circle of Magic: Daja’s Books, by Tamora Pierce (1/04, 1/10)

Are there cliques in the Tamora Pierce fandom? Are there Tortall versus Circle of Magic kids? If there aren’t, let’s start them now, because I was always a Tortall kid. (Except Daine, who I never like. Sorry, Daine. It’s nothing personal, mostly because I can’t remember why.) But I did read the Circle of Magic books, specifically because in eighth grade someone told me there was a gay romance in The Will of the Empress, a later book in the universe. (Me reading over this post so far: “I did not realize the extent to which I was always super gay.”) Since I’ve decided I want to reread Empress, I’ve likewise decided to haphazardly reread the earlier books as well. In December of last year I read Tris’s Book, the second in the series. This January, I read Sandry (book one) and Daja (book three).

Sandry’s Book unfortunately isn’t a strong start to the series. The necessary assembling of all the characters lasts the first half of the book, the magic feels likewise over introduced and underdeveloped, and Sandry has little emphasis in the book named after her. I wish I could talk more in detail about this book, but looking back on it from two months later, I can’t remember much of anything except Sandry’s introduction (locked in a tower while everyone around her dies of illness, which is one of those backstories my disclaimer-adult-ass-in-no-way-the-intended-audience-age self thinks is wasted on junior fiction when you can hardly linger on the horror; maybe the YA The Circle Opens series deals more with that).

Daja’s Book improves the series thus far, mostly thanks to Daja. She’s always been my favorite of the original circle, a reserved, strong, hardworking grieving girl with metal and fire magic, who is excommunicated and shunned by her people who consider her bad luck after she is the sole survivor of her family’s shipwreck. She’s also black. Did I mention she is black? Because the book does, a lot, a weird amount, in places you really wouldn’t think it was necessary. Like, “‘Let’s talk about magic,’ said the black girl whose name we definitely know.” But that dubious choice aside (and I don’t remember it being present in later books in the series I’ve read), everything about Daja is my favorite part of this first series. Daja mourns the loss of her family through disaster and the loss of her people through custom while building a new family with her fellow mages and trying to reconcile that she would not be able to do the work she loves, blacksmithing, if she hadn’t been cast out.

If you’re interested in the characters (who are very good, they do develop well) or the magic (which I came to love, and felt organic and unique thanks to a combination of Pierce’s emphasis on hard, unglamorous labor as the basis of her heroes’ lives and the elemental astral projection that the mages do in this world), and if you, like me, don’t enjoy junior fiction, I’d recommend starting with The Circle Opens series instead. The books in this universe are connected but standalone, and it’s easy to jump in wherever. (I’m still gonna read somewhat in order before I get to The Will of the Empress, though. It’s who I am.)

  Fiction: Flawed, by Cecelia Ahern (1/13)

There are books that, before I returned them to the library, I want to slap a sticker on the front that says, “Warning: this book is fine but it is also secretly the first book in a series. Beware the ending.” The most recent such book, Flawed, is a YA dystopia where separate from the legal court is the Flawed court, which with absolute power can judge you defective as a person. Once deemed Flawed, you are branded in a symbolically suitable location as befits your crime, publically shamed, unable to assemble with other Flawed in large groups, shunned, hated, subject to a curfew, subject to constant surveillance, forever. Celestine North, who was named by her parents with the knowledge she would be the hero of a YA dystopian novel, dates the son of the court’s high judge and supports the system unquestioningly until she sees a Flawed man dying on the bus in front of her with no one willing to help. Her intercession sends her to the Flawed court herself, and gets her in a girl on fire situation as she inadvertently becomes the figurehead of a revolution much bigger and older than her. With Flawed as the first book in the series, its limited viewpoint feels myopic, determined to keep Celestine’s point of view relatively narrow. She suffers thoroughly and compellingly throughout the book, but when it ended on a cliffhanger, I couldn’t see myself waiting eagerly to see what happened next.  

Plus, the book has an unfortunate case of YA Bad Boy Syndrome, i.e. there is a troubled, scowling teenage boy who dominates a disproportionate amount of narrative focus as compared to his narrative interest. In contrast, the most compelling relationship in the book, that of Celestine who always supported the system until she saw evidence of its abuse and her sister who rails against the system but stays quiet in the face of the same abuse that makes Celestine act, is introduced as a central element and then gets minimal page time. Kill your darlings, authors. Cut the bad boys.

Fiction: The Treasure Map of Boys and Real Live Boyfriends, by E. Lockhart (1/12, 1/13)

E. Lockhart writes the most exquisitely uncomfortable YA. When I read Dramarama—a title, by the way, I only picked up because I already trusted the author—I spent so much time wincing that it read the book twice as slow as normal because not only did I recognize the characters, I both didn’t like them and utterly understood them. It was agony, but very specific “creative kids from a small town who go to a theater camp, discover they might have been friends by default, discover they might not be as talented as they think, discover that everything good changes and there’s nothing you can do about it” kind of way. The Ruby Oliver books (of which The Treasure Map of Boys and Real Live Boyfriends are books three and four) are similarly specific in their discomfort, except the discomfort lasts for four books instead of one.

I say discomfort instead of something like awkward because awkward implies a kind of charm, and while plenty of the characters in the books are charming and the writing is charming and many of the ideas are charming (too charming even, occasionally bordering twee), the situations of the books aren’t charming. They just kinda suck. These books aren’t a slog through misery and woe, not by a long shot, but they offer few if any pat resolutions. The characters hurt each other on accident and on purpose, and while some get better and trying not to, they don’t stop. Friendships end and it’s kinda everyone’s fault. Relationships are continually undercut by flaws that never go away, or even get addressed. Ruby is accused by her former best friend of trying to steal her boyfriend (who used to be Ruby’s boyfriend) and Ruby didn’t try to except she sorta did, or she at least wanted to, or she flirted back with him when she knew he was dating someone else, or the whole idea of “stealing” someone is ridiculous because you can’t steal a person, except Ruby’s best friend did kinda steal Ruby’s boyfriend. Even when characters are in the right, they don’t always act their best. Ruby never gets the apologies I spent the books hoping she’d get, and she never changes in the ways I hoped she’d change. But she is in a better place when the books end than when they began, and she is a better person too. It’s just that she still kinda sucks sometimes, and so does everyone around her. 

While I struggled now and then with the preciousness of the writing style, the characters provoked a satisfying frustration that made me read all four books in two weeks. If you’ve never read anything by E. Lockhart, I’d recommend The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks as your first, since it’s got a complete story in one book as opposed to the Ruby Oliver books which are more episodic, but this is a satisfying series if you’re looking for slice of life, low plot, nuanced relationship explorations that are zippy as hell to read.

[thecreativityofthinking]

Novel Information

Title: Isla and The Happily Ever After

Author: Stephanie Perkins

Published: 2014

Publisher: USBORNE

Total Pages: 375 pages

Genre: Young Adult Romance

Languages: English

Stephanie Perkins Little Biography

She was born in South Carolina, raised in Arizona and attended universities in San Francisco and Atlanta before her husband and cat, Mr. Tumnus, in a house where every room in painted a different colour of the rainbow. Having always worked with books - as a bookseller, librarian, and now a novelist - Stephanie is the most usually found writing at her desk with a cup of tea or coffee, except for at the weekends where she can be found at the movies, waiting for the actors to kiss. (She firmly believes that all novels and films should have more kissing.) You can also find her on her website http://stephanieperkins.com/

First Impression

Well, i read Anna first and i thought that Isla is fallin in love with Josh. And this time i read the synopsis. What i thought was true. I can already guess the ending and the storyline because Stephanie did the same plot and storyline on this trilogy. Another had a boy/girlfriend and the other is single. At the end the one who had boy/girlfriend will breaking up and fall in love with the main character. End of discussion. That was what i thought but i have a feeling that is true. Because in Anna book, Rashmi and Josh are couple but they broke up because some reason. Maybe their reason will be found in this book. Even it mentioned that Rashmi will go to college and Josh still junior and they did not want have long distance relationship. But i guess those were not the reason! The reason is Isla. But who knows? Well let’s begin my journey first and i’ll tell you my thought.

Review

First of all the story is not like Anna and Lola stories. This time, Stephanie made something different and i love that. It’s predictable but almost make my heart out. There are some part that i do not like and i like, i hope you don’t mid to read what i wrote. But honestly i wrote it down one by one while i am reading this book.

Characters:

-       Isla (Main character)

-       Josh (Main Character’s first love)

-       Abe (Josh’s friend)

-       Kurt (Isla best friend)

-       Maman & Dad

-       Hattie (Isla sister)

-       Nate (Residence’s Director)

-       Genevieve (Isla older sister)

-       Dave

-       Mike

-       Emily

-       Sebastien (mentioned - Isla ex-boyfriend)

-       Mrs. & Mr. Wasserstein

-       Scott (Kurt’s father)

-       Sabine (Kurt’s mother)

-       Sarah (Genevieve ex-girlfriend, mentioned)

-       Brian (Josh private driver)

-       Anna, Lola, St. Clair, Meredith, Cricket.

Point of view: 1st person (Isla’s point of view.)

Setting place:

-       Paris (School of American in Paris-mostly)

-       Kismet Cafe (The place when Isla and Josh met for the 1st time)

-       a line of Flemish inspired homes

-       The Pont d’Arcole

-       The Centre Pompidou

-       Treehouse

-       Barcelona

-       Sagrada Familia

-       Manhattan

-       New York

-       Pizza Pellino

For those who curious about the synopsis, here it is....

I thought this story is when Josh and Rashmi still together but i was wrong! The story began after Josh and Rashmi broke up. Well, this is new not like the story before this book. I’ll keep reading.

When Genevieve name comes, i kinda wondering who is it because i feel like i know that name in the other book but am i mistaken? i don’t know.

The story make me curious more when Josh disappear on several days. Isla explain it to us on page 54 I don’t see Josh over the weekend. Josh is back on Monday And then he’s gone again. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. Where is he?

Quotes that i like from page 61 is the part when Josh talked to Isla about reading “You read a lot” “Safer than going on a real adventure.” Now he’s the one who laughs. “Maybe.”

There is a part when Josh ask Isla about Kurt, is he her boyfriend or not. And by that time i guess how this story goes. Well, it will be Isla still have crush on Josh but Kurt have a crush on Isla and then she knew about that. Isla confused who she has to picked. End of story. It just guessing tho, but my mind keep saying that. Oh God

How can Stephanie make this things easily? Josh already have a crush on Isla and i was like WHAT? SERIOUSLY? That things just got to fast and they already kissed and said about how they feel each other. I was assuming that something is not right. There is something happening between those things. Those several part were make me mad eventually. It starting on page 60 when Josh ask Isla to a date. And they officially a couple when They spent a day in Josh dorm & the things just come out easily like this one “Does this mean you want to be my boyfriend?” My question sound both immature and momentous. But Josh doesn’t flinch. “Yes,” he says. “I want”

I’m starting to love Hattie because she is exactly like me when i have sister. On Friday, Hattie startles us from behind in the hall. “So you’re the guy who busted my sister’s nose. Either you have the best aim or the worst. Which is it?” “Pleasure to meet you,” Josh says. “Whatever. Isla, I need forty-six euros.”

Great, the part when Kurt found out that Josh and Isla come to their treehouse often it broke their friendship and i did not like one of those. Why she should tell Josh about their treehouse. Kurt is finally upset about Isla relationship and i hate that because i don’t like some friendship has broken when one of them found lover. Those hateful part is on page 150.

Okay i know the relationship between Josh and Isla is gorgeous but i still do not like those even Stephanie wrote the words very well and i almost fall in love with their relationship too. And how they almost make out is different with the others and got caught by Kurt how poetic. I just can’t explain it myself, read that on your own. It’s on chapter 14.

Maybe from this trilogy even it is not related one to another. Isla more courageous person than the other. She take a chance to go to Barcelona with Josh and take a risk about what will happen if they get caught. Well i still in the beginning they arrived in Barcelona.

He squeezes my hand. “Kurt would never ask you to choose.” “I know,” Tears spill over my eyes. “And that’s why u chose him.” Maybe some of you will think that it is the last relationship between Josh and Isla. W-R-O-N-G! hahaha kidding, it’s the line on page 182 when Isla told Josh about her friendship with Kurt and Sanjita.

Stephanie changed her habit eventually. She always put the kiss part or make out part almost the last chapter but this time you can read those kind of part in the middle of the book even in the beginning.

Perhaps Josh has some kind romantic way when he calm Isla down for the time when they got caught that they escaped in Barcelona in weekends. But i still do not like because these things came out easily! But Stephanie words still my favorite. She still makes me love her characters more and more!

Kurt, he always be there for Isla no matter what and he is like my best friend too! When Isla and Josh had a tough day after they escaped to Barcelona and Josh kicked out from school, Kurt be there for Isla even though she hates him because of that. Oh how sweet their friendship!

Aside story between Josh, St. Clair, and Meredith is in this book! I mean the story of their friendship. You can read about that starting at page 241 and ends in 247. It is beautiful and i still can not imagine how the pictures are. I bet he draw it nicely even Isla can now the story behind it. Oh i wish i can see those picture in hand.

Calliope Bell, do you remember her? Cricket’s twin? From Lola and The Boy Next Door? Yap, she mentioned on page 258. Not much but it get me nostalgia about Lola’s story.

The HUGE FIGHT between Josh and Isla happened in the car. Isla telling him about how she felt and i am assuming that she is jealous of him. She just upset because they can’t do anything together anymore like before. I know that i hate their relationship at first because how it camoes easily. And now i am little bit have a joy because they broke up! But The broke up was make my sympathy grows for Isla. The huge fight happens starting on page 289 and ends on page 296.

Kurt, i always love the way he is! Even he did not appear much because of Josh but now he’s in it. I am agree with what Kurt say after he listen to Isla-Josh breakup stories. “You told him that you’re a placeholder in his life,” Kurt says. “So does that make me or Josh the placeholder in yours?”

Hattie, Isla little sister is remind me of Kitty on Jenny Han works. They almost alike, their personality but their physically? I am not so sure. Hattie did the same thing as Kitty but not the rude one but the truth one. And the story almost goes like To All The Boys I Loved Before. Don’t get me wrong but this is unique and irreplaceable. Anyway, what Sanjita said about Hattie to Isla is kindly true tho and i am agree with her about that. “It sounds like you’re treating her like a child so she’s responding like one.” (page 323)

I almost forgot to mentioned the part when St. Clair purpose Anna and all of them (Isla, Josh, Lola, Cricket & Meredith) saw with their own eyes! They did that in the most romantic place (i will not spoil you though, so read it on your own on page 346 - 347)

And the ending of this book. I like this ending better than Lola’s ending which is still hang the story out. Anna and St. Clair story did not hanging and their love stories still mentioned in Lola’s and this book. But Lola story? Nope, it didn’t much mentioned in here. I love when Josh said those word to answer Isla question. And that how the title of this book goes.

Remember the Genevieve things? Ok i mistaken, Genevieve is not related in any of these trilogy. She is appear in Jenny Han works. I am so sorry that i am distracted by that things.

The things that makes me hate this book:

1.    How Josh fall in love to Isla and their love story come easily

2.    Lola did not appear much, even it is not related but Anna always appear everywhere in these trilogy

The things that makes me love this book:

1.    Josh drawing! (i want to see those in person because i am dying curious)

2.    The Trio SOAP (Meredith, Josh and St. Clair) stories

3.    The huge fight between Isla and Josh in the car

4.    Anna & St. Clair love stories ends!

5.    The ending

Well, those are some reason why i hate and why i love this book. And the review maybe not as good as you expected but i would gratefully say THANK YOU if you leave some notes in this post.

Thank you for reading, have a nice day! xx.

[patheticphallacy]

Hallo!

So let’s start this post by referencing the major creative crisis I went through this month, stemming from a blogging rut I found myself in beginning in July. I’ve got through it now, and I have basically the next month and a half of content already scheduled in preparation for my return to Uni, but the rut was real, guys.

I spend a lot of time on my posts and I found myself very low regarding the content and the amount of response I get to what I post. I know blogging is a lengthy process, I’m not going to immediately get response considering the blog is only just over two years old, and I genuinely love writing these posts and reviews. It’s a worry I tackle often, but sometimes it just gets to me and makes me feel kind of hopeless of ever getting over my general anxiety regarding interacting with other people. I keep my distance just because I don’t know how to make friends in the community, and I feel like that translates over to my blog sometimes too, but I’m really trying to change that by talking to more people!

Other than that: August was boring. I read, I watched random stuff, and I worked overtime shifts so I have enough money for rent when Uni starts. I’m honestly a pretty boring person during off-time from University just because of how far away I am from people, combined with my lack of money. Maybe next Summer will be more exciting.

I also want to add that my blog is going to be a lot busier now the end of the year is approaching. I always seem to have a calm period in November, but every other month, expect chaos! Good chaos, though. Friendly chaos. October is a great month for me as I love horror and supernatural things, which means I have twice as many post ideas.

READING WRAP UP

    Assassination Classroom Volume 3-4 by Yusei Matsui– I expect to read more Assassination Classroom this month, but I ended up starting another popular manga series (that’ll come up later). I did enjoy these two volumes, and we got some intriguing looks into Korosensei’s backstory. 

Ibitsu by Haruto Ryo– I hated this. Straight up. It felt very targeted towards the humiliation of teenage girls with a lot of unneeded torture and nudity, and I just felt sick after reading it, and not in a way I can enjoy with some stories. 

Bond of Dreams, Bond of Love Volume 1-4 by Yayu Sakuragi– This is an age-gap romance between an 18 year old and his childhood friend who is… six/eight years older than him, one of the two. There were some really weird moments, for sure, and I won’t dispute that the age gap was kinda gross at points, but I feel like by the end the conversations on adulthood and the main character finally having his frustrations recognised meant a lot. 

My Love Story Volume 7-13 by Kazune Kawahara– I’m in a perpetual state of mourning now that I’ve finished this series. It’s one of my all-time favourites. The ending is so heartfelt and they get into heavier issues towards the final volume that I feel helped carry the main relationship from feeling young into adulthood as the characters began college. It addresses jealousy and feelings of incompetence, while never belittling the trust these characters have in one another. It’s handled so maturely and so unlike other stories, and I’m satisfied with the conclusion, even if my heart is broken. 

    My Hero Academia Vigilantes Volume 4 by Hideyuki Furuhashi– Not as good as volume 3, but has some solid character development and we finally have a showdown of sorts. This does end on a cliffhanger, fair warning.

Starlike Words by Junko– Reaaaally didn’t like this. Poor development of character and relationship and the nudity felt gratuitous and gross, especially considering these characters are only 15/16. 

These Witches Don’t Burn by Isabel Sterling– Another one that disappointed me. I have a review for this linked at the end of this post, just know that I had issues with the treatment of toxic relationships and a victim blaming attitude. 

Peter and Alice by John Logan– An OK read that’s very meta, a play that imagines the meeting behind Peter Llewelyn Davies and Alice Liddell in 1932. It’s very tragic and the weaving of the characters they inspired into their own stories was incredible, but I found myself thinking the whole time about how this… probably didn’t happen. I know I should have suspended my disbelief, it just felt impossible. 

    One Piece Volume 1-11 by Eiichiro Oda– EE. This series is great! I literally started the longest running manga series I’ve come across so far and I don’t regret starting it, even if I did at first. The first 100 chapters have flown by with incredible character development and a wonderful world being shaped, and I adore it. 

Their Body and Their Afterthought by Shelby Eileen– Not my favourite poetry collection. I don’t want to be too harsh, but it felt like it reiterates what I’ve read in other collections on similar themes and issues without ever offering anything new with form. 

I Hate Fairyland Volume 1 by Skottie Young– I previously read this volume years ago. After a re-read, I’ve lowered my rating. I’ve just read way too many different comics and manga and whatnot to not be slightly critical. The art is still great, but it felt like I was struggling to get through this at points, especially after starting volume 2 and having to stop from boredom. It feels repetitive. 

Sunshine, Sadness and Other Floridian Effects by Shelby Eileen– This collection was better than Their Body, luckily! It has some stunning imagery, calling up impressions of water and the turning of the tide in tandem with loss coinciding with moments of happiness, and I do recommend it. 

    Faithless #3/#4 by Brian Azzarello– Starting to get bored with this series. There’s only so much shocking stuff and nudity without any kind of explanation for it before you grow tired. I’ll carry on reading for a few issues; I’m just ready to drop it if nothing much keeps happening. 

Pochamani Volume 1-5 by Kaname Hirama– Ohhh this was such a great series! It’s out of print so I had to read it online, and only the first five volumes are actually translated, which was so disappointing but I still recommend this series. It’s got the first fat main character I’ve seen in a manga series, and has so much conversation surrounding body shaming and positivity and the constant grappling with self-hate when you have a fat body. It means a lot to me, and seeing a romance where a fat girl is adored by her boyfriend is so wholesome. 

The Diary of a Bookseller by Shaun Bythell– I literally started this last year and it took me that whole period of time to read 140 pages, and then in the space of a week I read the last 150. There’s definitely a sense of elitism and anti-genre fiction (especially what is typically branded as targeted towards women) which aggravated me, but the general humour was great and there was an interesting insight into the running of independent bookshops. 

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling– I feel like I’ve gone OFF about this book on here in August, but this book deserves it. It’s an intense psychological sci-fi horror where main character, Gyre, goes on a caving mission that ends up being more than it first appears. I love the relationship that develops between Gyre and Em, and I highly recommend the audiobook!

My Life with Bob by Pamela Paul– I have a whole review on my Goodreads that I feel summarises my issues with this book. I enjoyed this, but same with Shaun Bythell’s book, there’s a definite sense of elitism in some ways. I think Pamela Paul was willing to paint herself negatively in some respects and show the harmful thought processes she could have, and I appreciated that. My review is a lot more elaborate! Sorry!

  Pen & Ink by Isaac Fitzgerald and Wendy MacNaughton– This is a fun side-by-side of tattoos with the explanations behind them from the people that have them. The stories are whacky and fun, in some places, but are also sentimental and heartfelt in others, and I like the different thought processes behind getting them and the way everyone still seems to love them. 

My Hero Academia Volume 19 by Kohei Horikoshi– SO. GOOD. The real strength of this series lies in how well developed the characters and their relationships are, and this volume especially reaffirms that. Aoyama is so sweet and if he’s the traitor I’ll riot! 

  TBR JAR PICK FOR SEPTEMBER IS: WILLFUL MACHINES by Tim Floreen! My best friend picked this one out for me, thank you friend!

THINGS I WATCHED

I FINALLY went to the cinema again and watched BTS: Bring the Soul. I loved it.

I re-watched Daddy Day Care (don’t ask, it’s literally the only film I watched on Netflix the whole month and I hate that) and it opens with Ben– Eddie Murphy’s in-movie son– climbing out of bed and putting on the exact same Spongebob slippers my sister and I had when we were younger and it was amazing. I’ve never felt so nostalgic over something so unintentional in a film.

Not a watch, but a listen: the Teenage Scream podcast hosted by Kirsty Logan and Heather Parry, where they read and breakdown classic Point Horror novels from the 90s.

As always, I watched random stuff on deep dives on YouTube. This included: An Aesthetic History of The 1975, fat people don’t belong in magazines (it’s not what it sounds like), Being Lowborn w/ Kerry Hudson (an author interview! yes!), and I guess I’ll recommend the latest paperbackdreams video because I love Kat’s channel!

POSTS

University: Second Year Breakdown

A Bookshelf Tour: Part 1

REVIEW: These Witches Don’t Burn

Shakespeare Plays as Taylor Swift Songs

REVIEW: The Luminous Dead

Top Ten Tuesday: Read Books I Wish I Owned!

A Bookshelf Tour: Part 2

If you liked this post, consider buying me a coffee? Ko-Fi. 

Goodreads|Twitter|Instagram|Letterboxd

August Wrap Up Hallo! So let's start this post by referencing the major creative crisis I went through this month, stemming from a blogging rut I found myself in beginning in July.

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Ask D'Mine: On Diabetes Superpowers and Old Flames

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Ask D'Mine: On Diabetes Superpowers and Old Flames

Need help navigating life with diabetes? Ask D'Mine! That would be our weekly advice column, hosted by veteran type 1, diabetes author and community educator Wil Dubois. This week he's taking on some pretty unusual queries, about sports and love with the Big D. Read on.

Got your own questions? Email us at AskDMine@diabetesmine.com

Anne from Oregon, type 1, writes: Hi Wil, I love reading your column! It is a wonderful treat to sit down to every Saturday morning 🙂 As a newly-diagnosed type 1, I (of course) have a million questions. But the one I want to focus on is a fun one: Do we as PWDs have a "super power?" Where I'm going with this is that Gary Scheiner has a figure in his book Think Like a Pancreasshowing athletic performance vs. blood sugar level. There is no reference for the figure, but it shows that performance peaks at a BG of around 150 mg/dL. My recollection is that non-PWDs can't get that high with their blood sugars, thus the "super power" question, i.e. can we outperform them at a certain BG level?. Of course, this assumes that we can keep our blood sugar in that range during physical activity...

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: We type 1s tend to be super-stubborn. We learn to be super-tough. But sorry, no super-powers beyond that. And a damn lucky thing, too. Can you imagine if having slightly too high blood sugar made us perform better or smarter? Wall Street sharks would be getting pancreatectomies, athletes would be taking insulin-suppressing illegal drugs, school children would be saying "I wish I had diabetes," and the fastest-growing employment section in the nation would be for dialysis technicians and nurses.

The performance chart you referred to is on page 144 of the original 2004 edition of Scheiner's landmark book, but is missing from the latest version (which I bought as soon as it came out, but confess I haven't read yet). I think what Scheiner was trying to show us was NOT that athletic performance was supersized for everyone at 150 mg/dL, but rather that exercise for PWDs is dangerous when you're too low, and you perform rather badly when too high. But I'll admit, at a glance it looked pretty damn exciting.

In his new edition, Scheiner tells us "Elevated glucose can reduce your strength, flexibility, speed, stamina, and endurance." He reminds us that too much sugar in the blood leads to strains, sprains, and stiffness—actually making exercise harder.

Oh, in case you haven't read Gary Scheiner yet, you really should. His knowledge is top-notch and his writing style is highly entertaining, with good humor. (Example: "Raise your hand if you like being tired all the time. Okay, raise your hand if you're too tired to raise your hand. Elevated blood glucose reduces energy levels.")

He's my second-favorite diabetes author, after... you know... me!

Anyway, like I said, I haven't sat down (yet) to read Scheiner's revised classic from cover-to-cover, so to double check on the whole superpower thing, I emailed him about it. You know, just to be sure. Here, straight from the horse's mouth, is his answer:

"Unfortunately, there is no evidence that people with diabetes hold a competitive advantage over their non-diabetic counterparts when exercising at certain glucose levels. That's not to say that living with diabetes doesn't have its advantages; people with diabetes are generally more in-tune with nutrition, fitness, and how the body responds to various forms of physical activity than the average person."

So there you have it, Anne. Welcome to the family. Sorry. No X-ray vision. No super strength. No breathing underwater. We're not bullet proof. Or any of the rest of it.

But you can wear a cape if you want to. And it's OK to store all your diabetes supplies, gear, and meds in your own personal Bat Cave in your basement.

Oh!

Wait a second!

I was wrong (it happens occasionally). We do have one superpower, after all. And that's the power of community. It's more a "power of numbers" than an individual thing, but you are now connected in a unique and powerful way to other people who share your hopes, fears, experiences, and struggles.

You don't need to have super powers of your own.

You've got us.

Sherrie from Minnesota, type 3, writes: I just rekindled an old flame. He is an easygoing spirit and the man I should have married. My problem is, he is diabetic, too. His numbers are all over the place, from 500 or down to 120. He takes two types of insulin and a pill, but he doesn't eat right. He complains of headaches, but he doesn't respond when I try to get him to eat healthier. Help -- I don't know what to do.

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: Diabetes. That I'm good at. Romance? Oh boy... I'm not sure I'm qualified for that. But what the hell, I've never been afraid to say what I think. And I think this is right out of Shakespeare! Lost lovers reunited. As easygoing hero and a fretting heroine. The long shadow of a threatening chronic illness. Secret messages to a bard (that would be me), pleading for advice. It's got all the trappings of a great play.

And we all know that Shakespeare plays can end rather well for the cast of characters, or end rather badly. The same, I daresay, is probably true for your situation.

What you're facing is the largest challenge in diabetes, or in life in general, for that matter: How to inspire change. Let's assume for the moment that your flame's therapy is appropriate (although he should check in with his doc) and that the pair of insulins and the pill should be able to do the job. I think that's a safe assumption as in diabetes, a pair of insulins is the equivalent of a royal flush in poker, so there's no reason that his control shouldn't be better.

So if he's got a wining hand, why's the game going so badly? Most likely because he's playing it poorly. I think you need to communicate with him about why you are worried and try to find out how he's feeling about all of this. I know you've tried, but I have an approach you might not have used yet.

In medicine we often use something called Motivational Interviewing (M.I.), which was "born" here in New Mexico back in '83 at our big university. All it is, is a way of making people think. You'd be surprised how little most people think. Oh, and it's also a form of communication, and I can't think of a couple in the world who couldn't communicate better—old flames, or new. You can watch my buddy Dr. Keri talk more about M.I. on You Tube, if you like video.

The key is to remember that you're going to be talking about something he most likely doesn't want to talk about in the first place. As such, you need to stick with open-ended questions. Don't ask anything that can be answered with a single syllable. For example: don't say "Can't you see how much I worry about you?" Because then he can say either "yes" or "no." The conversation just ended before it started, and he didn't even have to use his brain. Instead, say something more along the lines of "How do you think it makes me feel to watch you suffer so from your diabetes?"

Hah! Just try and answer that one with one word!

The long-term goal here is to plant the seeds of change, water them a bit, and hope to hell they grow. Future thinking never hurts either. Ask him how he sees the two of you a year from now. In two years. In five. Ten.

How will his diabetes affect that vision, if it's left raging out of control? His vision may be that in ten years everything will be the same. Yours might be of seeing-eye dogs and dialysis centers. I don't like "going negative," but I think honest fear is valid, and he needs to know how you feel.

So the brain mechanics (psychologists and psychiatrists), who study the way people change, tell us that we go through a predictable series of steps. I won't bore you with them all, but the first two are pretty interesting. They are pre-contemplation and ccontemplation. For instance, let's take something simple like binge drinking. If you're thinking about cutting your boozing down, you've probably already accepted that there's a problem and that you want, in theory, to do something about it. That's contemplation. You really aren't ready to take action—not yet—but at least the groundwork is laid, and you'd be open to the next step in change, which is actually doing something about the problem.

However, before that contemplation step, our brains are stuck in pre-contemplation, which means we haven't even acknowledged that there is a problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down. No problem.

M.I.'s goal is to light a fire under pre-contemplation and heat it up to the contemplation point. To get people thinking. Once the brain actually faces up to realities, it can do amazing things.

So my advice to ensure that this play will be a Romance, or maybe even a Drama or Comedy—but not a Tragedy—is to start talking to Mr. Easygoing in a way that forces him to think. To contemplate. And not just about him. And not just about the here and now.

But about both of you. And the future.

This is not a medical advice column. We are PWDs freely and openly sharing the wisdom of our collected experiences — our been-there-done-that knowledge from the trenches. But we are not MDs, RNs, NPs, PAs, CDEs, or partridges in pear trees. Bottom line: we are only a small part of your total prescription. You still need the professional advice, treatment, and care of a licensed medical professional.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

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