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sabxism · 4 years ago

Text

But I’m Here In Your Doorway

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Based on these lines from this is me trying:

Pulled the car off the road to the lookout Could've followed my fears all the way down And maybe I don't quite know what to say But I'm here in your doorway

Word count: ~2.6k

Warnings: mentions of and encounter with possible suicide, injuries (blood, bruises, etc), mention of (previous) deaths

Summary: reader loses everything. after she nearly makes an irreversible decision, she goes to Poe for help.

GIF not mine

The screams of your squadron members bounce around in your head. It was your fault, you knew that. You shouldn’t have set off without checking your ship. Without checking for any trackers. So it wasn’t a surprise when, out of nowhere, a group of TIEs burst out of hyperspace, straight into your fleet like pins being knocked over by 30 flying bowling balls. You had watched, helplessly, as your friends - your family - were picked off one-by-one. As they went up into terrifyingly bright balls of gas and flame and smoke. It was your fault. All your fault.

Part of you was trying to cling onto the notion that you couldn’t have known, how could you have known? But the majority of your mind beat back those thoughts, letting the sickening guilt take over and push you into a dark corner. Debriefing had been a nightmare. General Organa had, of course, told you that it wasn’t your fault, that it was nobody’s fault but the spy she hadn’t discovered in time. She could sense the weight on your shoulders, sense you falling into a pit inside of yourself.

After the meeting, she had pulled you aside.

“Y/N. I need you to look at me,” she said, turning your head gently but firmly with her right hand. “It isn’t your fault. You did everything you could. Sometimes, things are just out of our control.”

“I know,” you lied, just wanting this conversation to be over. Leia could sense your apprehension, and sighed.

“Look, I know that nothing I say is going to change how you feel, because I’ve been there, and I know what you’re thinking. I know it’s hard. Trust me.” you look down at the floor, scuffing the tip of your boot across the dusty ground. “It will get better. I promise you.”

“Thanks, general.”

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me Leia?” she asks lightly as you turn to walk away.

“A few more, apparently,” you respond, the ghost of a false smile resting over your face. With that, you turn on your heel and head to your quarters.

You step through the door as it slides open and sit down on your bed. You reach for your datapad, wanting to distract yourself with something.

You click the screen on, and your heart drops. Staring back at you are the smiling faces of your squadron. You’re all clustered around Mari’s new droid, with hands on its shiny purple head. She had been so happy to get that little guy.

Now they were both nothing more than dust drifting through the empty expanse of space.

You hurl the tablet at the wall, watching as the screen shatters and falls to the floor.

You place your head in your hands, silent sobs racking your body. You clench your hair in your hands, knuckles turning white. You stand up, body shaking, and walk out of your quarters.

You pass Finn in the hallway. He smiles at you, but you can’t bring yourself to do the same. You feel awful as he looks back at you as you pass him, but at this point there’s no use trying to fix it. You trudge outside and up to your x-wing sitting on the tarmac, the edges of the wings blackened from smoke. You glance around, checking the coast is clear, then scurry up the ladder and into the cockpit. You check the time.

1800.

Sighing, you boot up your craft and quickly take off. You cruise over the base a few times, watching everyone go about their day. Like nothing happened. Like 10 of the most beautiful, vibrant souls hadn’t just been snuffed like a match. You swallow the knot in your throat and head for the atmosphere. You need to get away from here.

“General Organa!” Leia turns, to see a frenzied runway tech sprinting towards her. “Y/N took off on an unauthorized flight.”

Leia swallows thickly, her heart dropping. “How long ago?”

“We noticed she was left just now - but it looks like she’s been gone about an hour.”

“Then there’s nothing we can do but hope she comes back safely.”

“That’s what I was worried about.”

You land on a nearby forest planet, after searching for about ten minutes for a place to touch down. You pick a plateau on the Western side, lowering your land gear as you begin to descend. You hop down from your ship onto the grassy earth, and look around.

It’s quiet up here. There’s a soft wind blowing, and it weaves delicate fingers through your hair and across your face as you take off your helmet. You let it fall to the ground, and decide to walk around for a bit. You make your way to the edge of the plateau, and look out across the forest beyond. It stretches on for miles, a swath of dark green. The last rays of the sun blaze across the sky, painting the clouds with a pink-orange hue.

You glance down, and your heart drops to your toes. It’s a long way to the ground below. You begin to back up, but for some reason you find yourself stopping. You get closer to the edge, still looking down. It would be so easy to just take another step. Just one more. All of this would be over. You wouldn’t have to feel this guilt anymore.

Your knee lifts up slowly.

Realizing what you’re about to do, you scramble back, falling to the dirt. You brace your hands on the ground, digging your fingers into the earth to anchor yourself. Your chest heaves, and your vision spins. The ground seems to buckle, to toss you around. The sky bends and arches above you as you struggle to breathe. You roll over onto your stomach and wrap your arms around your knees.

You don’t know how long you lie there, but by the time you have the courage to stand up and walk again, the moon is floating in the sky above you, and the stars glimmer against a black backdrop.

You climb back into your x-wing and sit there, staring at your dashboard. Your eyes meet one of the few pictures leaned against the fuel gague. You and Poe lean against his x-wing a few months ago. You have your arms wrapped around each other. He’s kissing your cheek, and you’re laughing, open-mouthed, your nose scrunched up and your eyes shut tight.

You take a shuddering breath. Poe. You couldn’t believe what you’d almost done - what you still might do, if you don’t get out of here. You couldn’t leave him like that. You rapidly go through your flight checklist and then take off, headed back to base.

You land on the tarmac around 0200, exhausted and beaten down by your own thoughts. You hop out of your ship, landing on the ground with a thud.

You start walking, not really knowing where your legs are taking you, but you end up at Poe’s quarters. You can hear movement inside the room. You raise a trembling hand and knock once.

He opens the door, and his eyes widen. His mouth moves silently, searching for words.

You swallow thickly, a nervous knot tying in your stomach.

He takes a step toward you, not quite believing what he’s seeing. Leia had told him that you’d left suddenly after their meeting, and he had grown worried that you were hurt, or worse. But here you are, standing in front of him. Your form is limp and you’re drawn into yourself. Your face and neck are caked with blood and dirt, and your eyes are clouded and empty.

“Hi,” you say weakly. He quickly closes the gap between the both of you, wrapping you in a tight embrace. Your arms hang limp beside you.

“Stardust,” he breathes, holding you tightly. “I was so worried.”

Tears prick the corners of your eyes, falling down your face and onto Poe’s shoulder. He pulls back, concerned. Cradling your face in his hands, his eyebrows crease with worry.

He looks down at you, stroking your cheek gently with his thumb. There’s a silent question written across his features. You shake your head tearfully. You don’t know what to say.

“Baby…” he whispers, pulling you close to his chest again. You clutch at the back of his shirt with shaking hands.“I’m here now - you’re safe. You’re ok, you’re ok, you’re ok.” He repeats those two words over and over like a mantra, equally to himself as to you. “Let’s get you inside, ok?” he says, and you nod. Placing a hand on the small of your back, he guides you into his quarters.

“I’ll grab some clothes for you,” he says as you sit down on the edge of the bed. He rustles through his drawers, eventually coming up with a long-sleeved olive green shirt and a pair of grey boxer shorts. He sets them on the bed next to you. “Are you good to take a shower?” You think about it for a minute, and slowly shake your head. The idea of being pounded with thousands of tiny droplets makes you want to hide under a blanket.

“Too much,” you murmur, and he nods in understanding.

“Ok, love, that’s fine. We do need to clean you off and deal with these cuts, though.” he gestures to the lacerations across your skin. You nod weakly. You hear him pad over to the refresher unit and grab a medkit and some washcloths, which he wets under some running water from the sink.

He kneels in front of you, and motions for you to take off your flight suit. You slip it halfway off, letting it rest around your waist. Poe sucked in a breath through his teeth as he saw the bruises blooming across your torso and arms. You’d gotten tossed around pretty bad, getting knocked through space by several of the TIEs. You’d slammed your sternum right into the dashboard at one point, and small fragments of something had slashed open nearly every bit of exposed skin and even some under your suit.

“Y/N…” he says quietly, tearing up. You bite the inside of your cheek, hating to see him so upset.

He gets to work cleaning your cuts. He’s as gentle as he can be, but you still hiss as the cold water on the washcloth cleans out your cuts, and tears start to fall as he bandages up a particularly bad cut on your stomach. He holds your hand the whole time, letting you squeeze his hand as hard as you need to, never even flinching as your vice grip tightens around his fingers.

“Ok, baby, let me check your legs and then you’re all set,” he says, and you turn away, face flushing with nervousness. He’s confused for a second, then has a moment of understanding. He’s never seen you naked - you weren’t ready to get intimate yet, so you guys had been taking it slow, and now really wasn’t the best time to breach that barrier. “You can change into the shorts first,” he says quietly, and you look back at him gratefully.

You make your way to the refresher unit, shutting the door behind you. You peel off your flight suit the rest of the way, followed by your undergarments, crusted with blood from the cuts on your stomach. You pile the discarded clothes in a pile by the shower, and slip on the shirt and shorts Poe had leant you. You take the opportunity to glance into the mirror above the sink, and grimace at the reflection that gazes back at you. Hair messy and tangled, face bruised and covered with small cuts, you were not a pretty sight to behold. Sighing, you head back into the main room.

Sitting back down on the bed, you lean against the wall and stretch your legs out in front of you. Poe sits down on the mattress next to you, surveying your exposed limbs. They aren’t as bad as the upper half of your body, but they definitely aren’t good. He dabs at the cuts gently, taking your hand again. He mutters sweet nothings as you clench your teeth and shut your eyes tightly for the next few minutes as he finishes up.

“All done,” he eventually says, and you relinquish your grip on his hand, wiping the tears from your eyes. He looks up at you, and you almost melt at the love in his eyes. You realize in that moment how lucky you are - that no matter what, he’ll always take care of you. Always.

“Thank you,” you say quietly, and he smiles softly, opening his arms. You crawl over to where he’s leaned against the headboard and collapse into his embrace, breathing beginning to even out.

“You need sleep, baby,” he says, and you nod. “You can stay here, if you want.” You nod again, and he presses a kiss to your hair. “I’ll grab some extra blankets from the closet.” He gets up and goes to retrieve them. You get under his comforter and lay your head down on one of the pillows. Your eyes drift closed.

Poe pads back over to the bed and pauses, looking down at you. He swallows thickly, tearing up. He makes a promise to himself then and there that he’d never lose you like that. Never again.

He lays another blanket over you, then switches off the lights. He quickly changes into some sleep clothes and then gets under the covers, laying down facing you.

“Poe?” you mumble, searching for his face in the dark.

“Right here, honey,” he says softly, and you inch closer to him, a bit nervous to get too close. He senses your unease and smiles softly. “Cmere,” he says, draping a hand over your waist and pulling you close to him. You tuck your head against his chest, a warm feeling creeping into your very core. Being this close to him is grounding. You take a deep breath in. The scent of the lavender soap he uses clings to his skin, and it washes over you. You listen to his breathing, feel the rise and fall of his chest.

“I love you,” you breathe, eyes widening as you realize what you just said. The two of you haven’t exactly said it before. You feel Poe freeze beside you, and your heart drops. You mentally kick yourself. How could you say that right now?

“I love you too,” he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice. You blush furiously as he tilts your head up with his thumb and forefinger. “To the edge of the universe and back.” He presses his lips to yours, feather soft.

“I love you,” you say again, just because you can. He smiles softly.

“I’m proud of you, I want you to know that,” he says after a while. “For...getting through all this. I know it hurts, and it’ll stay that way for a bit, but…” he pauses, taking your hand in his. “But I’ll always be here if you need me. To talk, or just listen. You can lean on me, ok?”

“Ok,” you say quietly, looking up into his eyes.

“Ok,” he whispers.

“Ok.” You smile, and his heart flips at the beauty of it. He pulls you into his chest once more, and you’re out like a light almost instantly. He presses his lips to your forehead before drifting off, holding you tightly in his arms.

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theflashdriver · 5 years ago

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Silvaze: Fiction and a First

The atmosphere following Iblis' defeat was strangely comforting to Blaze. She knew the monster would return in a few weeks and its flames still dominated the city but as she lay, sprawled across an old couch with a poetry book in hand, those facts found no quarter in her mind. Instead, she found herself whisked away by the words in front of her; thoroughly capable of indulging herself.

Well, the beast's defeat wasn't the only factor contributing to her comfort. The good health of a certain grey hedgehog, lounging atop a beanbag chair just a little out of reach, relieved her to no end. Silver the Hedgehog, her partner in combat and in life. After the battle with Iblis, they'd had more than a few injuries to tend. Both Blaze's shoulder and knee had been injured during the fight but Silver's wounds had been relatively minor. A grazed elbow where he hadn't fully deflected a hurled boulder and a small burn on the right side of his muzzle were really the only ones of note but, of course, she'd tended his wounds as thoroughly as he'd tended hers; despite his protesting over the difference in scale.

Daring to throw him a glance, Blaze was forced to suppress a giggle. He'd thoroughly sunken into his chair, legs crossed in front of him while the rest of his body arched back. His arms were stretched toward the ceiling as he slowly flicked his way through a book. She had no idea how he could find the position comfortable but, for now, she concluded there was no harm in his silliness. After all, she wasn't sat upright either.

As her eyes returned to her book a yawn managed to slip past her lips. They'd, perhaps, made themselves a little too comfortable in their new home. What'd once been a youth centre, a gathering place for teenagers and young adults, had been converted into a two-floor house. The first floor didn't see much use, the street-level was too susceptible to monster attacks, but the second floor had been thoroughly customised. Powerless computers and televisions had been thrown out, quickly being replaced with books and board games. Posters of bygone football teams had been replaced with maps of the world and star atlases, they'd constructed a bed in a snug room with no windows and brought with various additional comforts. Safe to say, she slept more easily here than she had in their prior, ramshackle, homes.

The fact she was wearing pyjamas likely contributed to her sleepy state. She'd chosen them over her usual garb for the sake of comfort, donning a mauve tank top had allowed Silver to easily tend her shoulder and her black shorts kept her injured knee free from chafing. Still, regardless of intent, the usual purpose of these softer clothes was too heavily ingrained; another yawn broke free and tears filled the corners of her eyes. Deciding she'd won enough fights today, Blaze set the book atop her chest (careful to keep her page) and allowed her eyes to close.

For a while she simply lay there, content to drift asleep, but a voice managed to rouse her, "Blaze?"

"Hmm?" She hummed, managing to half acknowledge her partner.

"How much do you know about kissing?"

Blaze's eyes shot open; she raced to sit up, almost sliding from the couch as she did so. His words had granted her a pulse-pounding second wind, her tiredness was fully transmuted to surprise, "Wh-What?!"

Silver, meanwhile, despite what he'd just asked, was still sprawled atop the beanbag; looking at his book rather than daring to face her, "I was just wondering how much you know about kissing because… I don't really get it?"

"Where did you even learn that word?" That was stupid to ask; of course Silver knew what kissing was. He'd surely read about it at some point, "W-Why do you want to know?"

"Oh, it just came up in this book I'm reading?" Silver replied, "I've known about kissing for a while but this story makes it seem a whole lot more important…?"

He finally shifted to sit upright, his quills briefly cascading into his face before being pushed back by a wave of psychic energy. As Blaze caught sight of the book in his hands she felt her blush grow brighter still; all of a sudden she was on her feet, fists clenched as she struggled to keep herself from snatching it. There was no mistaking the book's title, it stood out so clearly against the book's otherwise featureless navy cover. Emblazoned on the front, written in a cursive font, were the words, 'The Cure for a Petrified Heart.' It was a romance novel aimed at teenage girls. A romance novel a certain, fire manipulating, purple, teenaged feline had read several times.

"Where did you find that?! Th-That's a…" She didn't dare finish her sentence, the words 'Romance Novel' weighed much too heavily on her tongue. "You don't read… those. You read history books and books about nature, n-not young adult fiction about "

Blaze knew she was being more than a little hypocritical; after all, she'd only recently started reading romance novels herself. Her first had been The Cure for a Petrified Heart, the very book he now held. She'd mistaken the tome for a poetry book but, having finished her other tomes, she'd decided to give it a go. Blaze wasn't willing to admit how quickly she'd fallen in love with the story, let alone its characters. She'd become immersed in the tale a teenaged hedgehog named Ivory, a girl who spends most of her time studying to appease her restrictive parents, and her burgeoning affection for her best friend, a feline by the name of Star. Of course, the hedgehog's feelings come into conflict with her need to study and soon she's fighting to choose between stargazing with her beloved and doing advanced trigonometry.

"I know it's not what I usually read but I saw you reading it a while ago. Whenever you did, it looked like it was making you really happy, so I figured it was worth reading myself," He must have caught the shock in her eyes, wincing slightly he asked, "Should I not have? You left it on the shelf ages ago and you hadn't marked a page, so I thought you were done with it. If you're not you can have it back, I'm sorry."

Ignoring his query, she couldn't help but ask a question of her own, "How much have you read?"

"I think I'm about halfway through it? Ivory has been hiding up in her room, pretending to be sick and not even going to school, because Star keeps accidentally distracting her in class and her grades have started to slip. Her parents aren't happy about it and neither is she, but she's sure that if she doesn't study on her own things will get worse," Silver expunged and, as he did, Blaze felt her blush grow brighter still, "Star doesn't seem to understand that he's the problem though, judging by the chapter I've almost finished. He made copies of all his notes to give her but, rather than just give them to her parents; he climbed her wall to knock on her bedroom window."

Of all the scenes in the book, Blaze knew that one the best and that truth embarrassed her most of all. She had read and reread that chapter on no fewer than twenty separate occasions; she could recall it from memory, practically word for word.

"He wanted to give her the notes and leave but she took his hand instead, it was raining so she insisted that he stayed for a while. They talked for a bit, she kept looking at his lips and, well, eventually they just… kissed," He concluded, so very bluntly.

That moment was the reason Blaze was embarrassed that he was reading the book. It was during that chapter that the Blaze couldn't help drawing parallels between the studious, serious, hedgehog and herself. Ivory's feline lover on the other hand, contradictory as it was, matched Silver all too well. The character of Star was painfully honest, overly curious, genuine and very naïve indeed; going out of his way for Ivory far more often than he truly should have. Additionally, although Blaze had never lived as a normal girl in a normal house, the concept of Star scaling Ivory's wall to see her could so easily be swapped with Silver floating his way to Blaze's windowsill to stay for a little while. Just long enough for a kiss of course, long enough to sweep her off her feet but not to carry her away; enough to leave her wanting just a little more.

Blaze would never admit, not even to herself, how many times she'd imagined and reimagined that scene.

The only response she could muster were two, quiet, words, "I-I see."

"I've been enjoying it, it's really nice to see what high school was like way back when it existed, but kissing keeps coming up. Ivory kept thinking about him kissing her, she kept considering kissing him and stuff like that. I thought when they actually did it I'd be able to understand why she thought about it so much, but I still don't?" Silver embarrassingly extrapolated, "They built up kissing as this wonderful thing and that it's really special, but isn't it just two people pushing their mouths together? I've read about kissing in encyclopaedias, and kisses have been mentioned in other stories I've read, but it never seemed all that important to me. Ever since I started this book, I can't stop thinking about it."

Blaze tried her hardest to keep her tail under control as those last words slipped free from his lips. Her arms folded across her chest, her ears pinned back and her eyes found themselves magnetically drawn away from his face and toward by a patch of burnt carpet.

"Well, um," She tried her best to think of some brief, yet thorough, explanation but embarrassment forced the truth from her, "It's rather difficult to describe the appeal of kissing."

"I've reread that passage a ton and I just don't get it…" He nodded in agreement, "Kissing is supposed to feel nice, I can tell that much, but, in the book, it's described as feeling like an explosion in your chest? But Ivory also says that it feels soft and sweet and tender, how can it be so many different things?"

"I'm," She nervously swallowed, now pondering on it herself. Thinking back to how she imagined kissing Silver would feel, "N-Not entirely sure."

"And why didn't people kiss more often? If it feels so amazing, wouldn't you want to do it all the time? Wouldn't lots of people just… kiss each other?" He'd asked yet another question, Blaze felt like she had to give some kind of answer this time.

"W-Well, I always thought that it wasn't kissing itself that feels like that, it's the fact you are kissing the right person; that's what makes it feel so wonderful. It's the fact that you're sharing such an intimate moment with someone you care deeply for; the person you care for the most. You're showing them how much you care about them by drawing them in close and exchanging a touch reserved for them and no other. The two of you get to share a moment born of your intimacy, m-made real by your closeness. You couldn't ask just anyone to kiss you and expect it to be wonderful, it has to be that special person. If it wasn't, then it wouldn't matter so you wouldn't get that feeling," The feline felt herself stumbling over her words. Though her understanding of kissing was clearly more developed than his, she, of course, hadn't actually kissed anyone. "At least, I think that's how it's supposed to be…"

"No, I think you're right. I think that makes way more sense than just touching lips and feeling a magic spark or some kind of nice earthquake. It having to be the right person would explain why everyone wasn't kissing all the time..." Silver seemed to pause for a moment, deep in through, "Can we try it?"

What puzzled her most of all was how nonchalant he was being. Had her explanation been that poor? Did he not understand he'd been reading a romance novel? Did he really think it was some kind of historical document, detailing an actual young girl's time at high school? Even then, the book focused so much on Ivory's crush while her schooling was more of a backdrop that occasionally pushed the narrative in an interesting direction. He had to know kisses occurred between loved ones rather than friends, didn't he? Despite how flustered she felt and how her blush was surely showing, he seemed totally unfazed by their situation; not in the least bit bashful about his proposal! Had she not explained this was one of the most intimate acts a pair could perform, reserved for only-

"I care about you more than I care about anyone or anything else, so if kissing works like you said then you're the person I should be kissing," He explained, entirely serious and more than half confident in his hypothesis, "Right?"

It was as though her brain was misfiring, Blaze was left completely speechless. Here he was, asking if he could kiss her and asking her to kiss him. There was zero hesitation in his voice, not an iota of contemplation or a speck of bashfulness. As was ever so common, the hedgehog's heart was on his sleeve and his intentions were much too easily discerned. They cared a lot about each other, the bandages they wore were more than evidence of that, but for him to so bluntly surmise their mutual care still caught her off guard. Not only that, but he truly wanted to try it; he wasn't joking, he wasn't the type to do that, Silver genuinely wanted to try kissing. He wanted to kiss her.

She must have been staring into space for too long because, when he finally broke the silence, concern hung on his voice; "We don't have to if you don't want to Blaze, it's ok-

"N-No I…" Blaze caught herself before she could finish that sentence; she swallowed her stutter and steeled herself, "Get up! You want to do this so we're doing it!"

"Really?!" The smile on his face was overwhelming, Silver bounded to his feet without hesitation but he paused before he could approach any further, "Are you sure? I don't know much about kissing, but the book made it out to be a big deal. A person's first kiss especially, that one's supposed to be really special. "

"I just agreed, didn't I? I'm more than certain, " A realisation dawned upon Blaze, she posed a similar question, "Are you okay with me being your first kiss?"

"Of course I am Blaze! There's no one else I'd even consider, you're really important to me and this is meant to be really important so it only makes sense," He was beaming at her, clearly overexcited, "As long as you're sure, I'm sure. As long as you're okay, I'm okay."

"Just," She felt a warmth she could only describe as bubbling giddiness; it was growing too powerful, "Give me a moment."

Blaze fully turned away from him in an attempt to compose herself, her eyes shut and arms still tightly folded across her chest. A bizarre shudder raked through her; she imagined it was the combined symptom of anticipation and, admittedly, a little bit of fear. Though she'd thought about it, Blaze hadn't anticipated something like this actually happening for years, if it ever did. She'd assumed, at the very least, neither of them would have the will to broach the subject until after Iblis was defeated for good. Furthermore, she'd imagined it'd be her dropping hints and to struggling to gently show interest. This was all just a little too fast, all just a little too sudden. Blaze felt her tail wriggle and writhe, it was as though her embarrassment was attempting to break free of her body and manifest as its own, awkward, entity. Were it not for today's endeavour, had she not fought and drained herself, Blaze was certain that her flames would have sprung forth long ago.

It was only as she reopened her eyes that she noticed he'd shifted. Not only had Silver drawn a few steps closer but his bright yellow eyes were shining down on her, carrying upon them an innocent worry that pierced her heart.

"I'm fine, I said I was… you're so naïve," Blaze caught herself half growling, reflexively puffing herself up in an attempt to look more confident than she actually was. One of her arms fell to her side, her remaining hand still gripping at her elbow. She sighed, trying to relax just a little, "This is all very new to me too and I want to do it right. I'm trying to think how we should… start."

"We could just do it like they did?" Despite her state, he still seemed oblivious to the connotations of their immanent embrace. She couldn't tell if that was for better or worse, "Like Star and Ivory."

The first kiss between Star the Cat and Ivory the Hedgehog, while not as heated as kisses she'd read about in later books, was a rather intimate affair. As she recalled, it remained surface level (that, or anything beyond the lips was left purely to the imagination) but the position they managed and the time spent in lip-lock was a feat in and of itself. To call that moment between them their first kiss would be to put it too lightly, too simply; it was much more than an awkward peck. But it wasn't too much more, she hoped at least.

"L-Like Star and Ivory," Blaze managed to repeat, half reflecting on what she wanted out of this first kiss and half on what she thought was possible, "I don't think that's beyond being possible?"

Having said that, Blaze did realise (now putting herself in Ivory's shoes) she would have to guide him. Even though he knew the hold, she was going to imitate this. Blaze, struggling not to turn away as her embarrassment maximised, reached across with her left hand; fumbling to find his hand only for him to find hers. Their fingers slowly interlocked and, as they did, she gingerly crossed her thumb across his.

"W-Wrap your arm around my waist," With the embarrassment behind her breath, it sounded almost as though she'd commanded him.

Despite her rashness, his arm immediately coiled around her waist. Blaze stumbled forward slightly; her chin had almost met with his chest fur. The gap between their frames was so very small; as her gaze dropped again she saw that her feet were between his. As she felt his right hand come to rest, only her tank top kept his fingers from her hip and his palm from the small of her back.

It was close, but this wasn't quite the complete hold Star and Ivory had shared. After all, Blaze still had one free hand. She wasn't brave enough to sink her fingers into his quills, not yet at least. For now, the less intimate contact would do; she'd have to build up to it.

Another realisation struck, only furthering Blaze's embarrassment. Despite the fact she was leading, despite her telling him what to do and how to kiss her, she was almost half a head shorter than him. The feline wore her heels so often (and she'd been so distracted by her embarrassment) that she'd completely forgotten the difference between their heights. Getting Silver to bend down and kiss her was, somehow, more embarrassing than the alternative. She would have to rise, climbing to her tiptoes in order to kiss him. It wasn't helping that, with so little distance between them, she was on eye level with the lips she'd soon be kissing. Try as she might, she couldn't stop staring.

"Is this okay Blaze? Am I holding you too tight?" He innocently inquired.

"N-No, that's good, I…" Her mouth felt dry all of a sudden, she assumed it was the heat, "We'll also need to tilt our heads, o-otherwise our lips won't meet properly," He blinked at her. Once again, he hadn't fully understood, "Lets both tilt right?"

"Like this?" Without hesitation, Silver tilted his head too far right. His muzzle was pressing against his shoulder, it seemed she would have to take more initiative than simply rising to her tiptoes.

"A little less, more like…" Blaze, without even thinking, reached up and sunk her hand into his quills, thus completing the hold as described in the book and the position they'd often taken in her mind's eye. Lines she'd read about pairs sharing passionate embraces, fingers running through hair and quills alike, quickly rushed to the forefront of her mind. Despite this, the feline couldn't bring herself to remove her hand from his overgrown spines. As she tilted her head to match his, she convinced herself that her hand should stay there. This way she could course-correct if they made a mistake, "There, th-that's perfect."

Innocent, excited, yellow eyes sparkled, but at this distance Blaze managed to spot something interesting. Now, with that promised kiss no more than a few moments away, a pink tinge had gently spread across his cheeks.

"Are you starting to understand? I've been feeling like this ever since you asked about kissing. Warm and nervous and…" Blaze forced herself to continue the explanation, after all; she was supposed to lead this, "Like my heart is exploding."

"I-I," He very almost forgot her hold as he shot up straight, eyes widening at his own stutter. Suddenly, his eyes darted to part from hers; unfortunately, there weren't many other places to look. He managed to half mumble, "I think I am."

"Do you still want to…" She led, once again finding herself unable to finish her sentence. It wasn't that she wanted to stop, in fact now she'd faintly invigorated, but she had to be sure he was comfortable.

Those bright yellow orbs flickered back to her amber ones as he gave as best a nod as he could, "I'm starting to get it, b-but now I want to know what it's actually like."

Silver's blush was creeping further, threatening to scale his ears with each passing moment. Well, at least they were flustered together; to Blaze, that somehow made this all just a little less embarrassing. She didn't have much time to consider that though, the tension between them seemed to be growing thicker by the second. She felt those often-described butterflies in her stomach but, as long as he did too, she knew that was fine. As long as it was mutual, as long as they were on the same wavelength, she knew everything would be okay.

"Alright, I'll lean in and, once I start kissing you, try to make your lips match mine," She instructed, managing to properly hold eye contact for the first time since he'd asked.

The hedgehog's brow furrowed, "What do you mean?"

"Just," She had no idea how to elegantly phrase what she wanted to say, "When I push my lips against yours, you're supposed to push back…? You can use your neck a little but I-I think you're supposed to just use your lips," Clearly still befuddled, Silver started to shape his lips into various (likely useless) forms. Not wanting to add humour to the dangerous concoction of emotions she was feeling, she quickly told him, "W-Watch and feel as I lead, I think the best way to learn is by doing it."

A look of realisation overcame his muzzle, fighting against his blush, "Oh, okay. So this is like practice?"

"If that helps then yes, th-think of it like practice," Blaze wasn't sure what she was saying at this point.

Practice for what? Practice for who? The only person she'd ever considered kissing was Silver and he'd only started to question kissing today, he'd even admitted she was the right person for him to kiss. Did he mean practice for the future? When she'd agreed, did she mean practice for the future? Blaze felt her hands grow sweatier as she contemplated that. She knew that even if Silver couldn't feel her sweat, he'd surely feel the heat that accompanied it. Thankfully, he hadn't mentioned it yet.

Swallowing one last time, she felt her grip grow just a little tighter, "Are you ready?"

"I-I think so?" Once again, caught off-guard by his own stutter, the blush on his cheeks grew a shade warmer. He managed to return her query, "Are you ready?"

"Yes," Blaze half-nodded, there was nothing more to do. The moment was finally upon them, "Close your eyes and stick out your lips, I'll…" Synapses failed to fire as she struggled to give her final instruction. Eventually, she decided to draw upon their reference material, "I-I'll be Ivory, I-I'll lead and you … just do what you can."

For a moment he hesitated, perhaps he thought he'd be taking the hedgehog's position, but he quickly complied; closing his eyes and puckering up. He looked more than a little silly, clearly not sure of what to do with his mouth and his brows were strongly furrowed, but it was rather endearing. Just as neither of them knew what this would feel like, neither of them really knew what they were doing. For whatever reason, that thought relaxed Blaze just a little.

Blaze took a deep breath, squinting incredulously at Silver; expecting reality to, somehow, fall away before their lips could meet. She shifted onto to her tiptoes, maintaining her stare as matched the hedgehog's height. His eyes were shut much too tightly and his shoulders looked much too tense; it was as though he was bracing for a literal explosion rather than a figurative one. Deep within her chest, Blaze felt a fluttering warmth. It was soft and yet, somehow, prickly. It was calming yet exhilarating; soothing yet overwhelming. It was as if her blood had been replaced with crackling energy; fuzzy feelings were flowing throughout her body but her heart couldn't handle the strain. As the distance between them shrank her temperature continued to rise, the feeling was just as contradictory as the books made it out to be. It was too strange to verbalise yet unabashedly wonderful.

Her eyelids grew heavy, her head tilted to mirror his alignment and three stuttered words managed to slip from her mouth. It was a phrase she couldn't help but use whenever these feelings grew just a little too palpable, "Y-You're so naïve…"

Eyes fully shut, Blaze pressed her muzzle against his; their lips met for the very first time. Surprised caused his fingers to tense, his grip around her waist tightened so suddenly that Blaze very almost ended their lip lock there and then; but her own hold on his quills kept them connected. Admittedly, however, a muffled, not unlike a squeak, did push past her lips. She kept hold of the back of his head, trying to make sure that he didn't mistake the sound for some kind of regret. Blaze felt herself almost melt into Silver, despite the strength with which they were surely holding each other; three of their four contact points faded into obscurity while the fourth drew all of her attention.

Electrifying was a word Blaze had never truly understood, electricity belonged to a long lost past, but, finally, she could match a sensation to its definition. Despite the heat and her nervousness, or perhaps even due to it, Blaze was thoroughly enjoying this.

It was only as she began to understand this feeling that it metamorphosed into something even greater. Silver had overcome his surprise and was fighting to return her kiss! She felt him shift in her grasp, contrary to what she'd advised he'd shifted his head and leant in closer still; pressing his mouth into hers. Despite the clumsiness behind his effort, it was more than enough to draw muffled purrs from her throat and send what remained of her senses into disarray. She felt her tail whip wildly and her ears press angle down further; as if urging her to somehow close the distance even further.

This was achieved by tugging his quills, she'd tilted his head just a little more and thus allowed their contact to deepen. His lips pushed against hers, he'd overcome his shock and remembered her advice. The warmth of her face now mingled and matched with that in her chest, culminating in a combined heat the likes of which she'd never felt. It was unlike any flame she could conjure and must have been the antithesis of Iblis' lava. It was like a roaring hearth, a heat that comforted despite its ferocity. Blaze found herself sifting through his quills and felt herself unravel just a little more; giving in to feelings she'd previously quarantined. If it was only going to be this once, this one and only test, she wanted to make the very most of it.

When they finally separated the sound of their panting filled the room and Blaze felt more than a little lightheaded. Were it not for their shared grip, one of them would have surely stumbled. Blaze wasn't sure how long that silence lasted but, equally, she didn't care. She was much too distracted by the lingering warmth on her lips.

"That was incredible, Blaze! I-I think I get it now!" Silver, meanwhile, was recovering in his own way. Trying to reassure her thus reassuring himself. Still, he wasn't wrong, "I-It's even better than the book said!"

With her embarrassment returning to its highest point, Blaze's voice was robbed from her and her eyes returned to that patch of burnt carpet. But, regardless of her capacity to speak, the feline's uncontrollable purrs were most certainly conveying mutuality of his statement.

"Can we do it again?"

#silvaze #Silver the Hedgehog #Blaze the Cat #sonic the hedgehog #sonic

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talkfastromance4 · 6 years ago

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Earthshine [1]

I’m so happy to finally be posting this. I literally spent a whole week writing this out. This is the first time I’ve written in the point of view as ‘you’ and even though it’s a universal you, I’ve become so attached to the characters. I even made a playlist that can be found here . Each part is written as different phases of the moon. This will be in 3 parts because it’s just shy of 5k words. Feedback is graciously welcomed, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it :)

Summary: you and Ashton’s love is displayed in different scenarios under a new phase of the moon Without further ado. . . .

--------------------------------------

Earthshine: the glow caused by sunlight reflected off the earth, especially on the darker portion of a crescent moon

Some think horoscopes and zodiacs are ridiculous and the people who believe in it are just as fickle as the celestial study. Ashton is part of the fickle party, he believes his astrological sign truly represents him. He’s very creative, adores his family and wants to start a big one of his own. Along with the creativity comes sensitivity and emotions that are felt as deep as the ocean in which his star sign is ruled by.

His emotions roll over him like a wave, one after another, each one more potent than the last. When he’s upset it’s like he’s drowning and when he’s angered the tides become relentless. Aside from feeling so deeply, Ashton is the essence of the sun.

Always smiling, always cracking jokes and making sure everyone around him is happy and having a good time. He loves those around him fiercely, he’s the protector.

He felt so strongly connected to his sign that he got the phases of the moon tattooed on his skin; he’s got both the light and dark within him.

One downfall of his star sign is that he’s a hopeless romantic. He craves to shower someone with his love but with his schedule and inability to fully trust someone makes it very difficult. Until he met you.

How you met was like the cliché way in a romantic movie. He was coming inside a coffee shop while you were exiting and lo and behold, you collided. In more ways than one. When your eyes met the stars aligned and a sense of calm washed over the both of you (even though your hot tea spilled all over him) and it was almost like fate.

Being the gentleman that he is he insisted on buying you a new drink, he simply wouldn’t take no as an answer. You and Ashton talked for four hours. You talked until you were the only ones left in the coffee shop. You talked until the baristas had to kick you out because they needed to finish their nightly duties.

You exchanged numbers under the new moon. Even though it’s not visible it signified a new beginning.

•○•○•

“I wish humans could breathe underwater,” you say as your finger traces the length of the aquarium’s glass. The actinic blue color illuminates across both of your faces, the light shimmers in waves.

“Why’s that?” Ashton chuckles giving your hand a light squeeze.

“Because. The water is my home, I’d never leave,” you shrug then let out an excited gasp as a sea turtle floats lazily by.

It’s been a few weeks since you and Ashton have first met. The chemistry between you two was unlike anything else you’ve experienced before. You both just got each other, you clicked.

“Won’t you come visit me?” he teases.

“No,” you say simply watching the turtle fade away before you turn to look up into his hazel eyes. “Cause you’d already be with me.”

His dimpled smile that you love so much makes an appearance and butterflies erupt in your stomach. He stares at you for a long while as you both continue on the pathway through the tunneled sea until suddenly he rushes you to an area that’s enclosed over a small wooden bench.

No one else is around and in the darkened blue light from the oval shaped glass, he takes your face in his warm hands and kisses you softly. His lips are gentle and familiar even though it’s your first kiss that you shared. You were kissing below the surface of the water but breathing was easy.

Your first kiss was shared on the night of a waxing crescent moon, his kiss proving the intentions of your budding relationship.

•○•○•

“I wish we could stay here forever,” Ashton murmurs into your naked shoulder.

He’s still on top of you with your bodies still slick from sweat and hearts beating erratically. The connection you shared still hung heavy in the air. You smile at his words petting his hair away from his forehead and caress his back with your other hand.

“We’ve got a little bit of forever,” you say, “until the sun comes up.”

“What am I going to do without you, love?” he smiles softly. He ghosts his lips over the pulse point on your neck which has the perfect shape of his mouth imprinted there.

“You’re going to make all your fans happy and rock your heart out with your brothers.”

“It’d be better if you were with me,” he mumbles over your collarbone.

“Mm, you know I wish I could,” you hum. You’re still stroking his hair while his lips kiss your skin.

“There’s only one solution then,” he says into your ear.

“What’s that?”

“Quit your job, pack all your things and come with me.”

You giggle into him, if only it were that simple and you voiced your thoughts to him.

“I’m only half joking,” he chuckles along with you. He removes his mouth from your skin to look at you and his eyes are shining from the twinkling lights hanging from your ceiling.

“I know. And I would love to come on tour with you but the time isn’t right right now, babe.” You cradle his face in your hands memorizing every feature. “But I’ll be right here waiting for you.”

“You sure I’m worth all that waiting? It’s nine months. We’ll be apart for how long it takes to make a person.”

“You are definitely worth the wait,” you say firmly. “I’m all in for you, Ash. Time and distance won’t change that. Of course I’ll miss you like crazy, I already do now even though you’re right here. But you are definitely worth it, you’re my sunshine.”

“You’re my moonlight.” He dips his head to yours and kisses you deeply. “When you say you’ll be right here waiting,” he says on your lips, “do you mean naked and waiting for me?”

You laugh into his mouth looping your arms around his neck to pull him closer. “If that’s how you want me,” you hum before kissing him and biting his lip.

“That’s how I always want you,” he groans.

You laugh again at his brute honesty but his fingers slip between your thighs and your laugher turns into moans. You made love for the second time that night under the first quarter moon, both light and shadow present. The decision to make the distance work was met in the middle.

•○•○•

While Ashton was shining on his own halfway around the world, you were left in the shadows a million miles away. You conversed through voicemails and delayed responses to text messages. It was hard being away from each other. You craved his touch.

The stars were aligned in your favor one night when you tried to Facetime him and he actually answered. Tears sprung in your eyes at finally seeing him and you became giddy by finally being able to talk.

“Hi handsome,” you greet.

“Hey angel,” he smiles. His dimples showed through the screen, your favorite thing in the world. “Apparently 1:00 a.m your time is when we’re both free.”

“I guess so. I miss you so much, Ash. We need to set up a schedule where we can actually talk to one another.”

“Agreed. I hate talking to you through our voicemails,” he rubs his hand over his face in frustration. “It’s so good to see you.” He shifts in his bed so his head is on the side of his pillow.

You mirror his actions and it’s like your inches away instead of miles. You’re both silent as you stare at each other but it’s a comfortable quiet, much like the time you’d be spending if you were physically together.

“I love you,” you break the silence and his smile returns.

“I love you, too, angel. So much.”

You talked for an hour more and came up with a game plan of calling each other when the time is right for both of you. You’d still text throughout the day of whatever was on your mind and at one o’clock you’d call or Facetime to discuss the texts.

You refined the minor problem under the waxing gibbous moon. The distance and different timing was a big sacrifice for your relationship but the change of habit will only make your relationship stronger.

•○•○•

“I have amazing news!” you both shout over the phone on your nightly call followed by laughter.

“You first, babe,” he chuckles.

“Remember how I told you I was in the running for a promotion at work? It was me and two others, a girl and a guy to become senior assistant for the editor?” you say in a rush.

“You got it?!” he exclaims.

“YES! My annual income will be raised 5% and I will be in charge of the platform I came from and will even have my own assistant!” You squeal and practically fall out of your bed from excitement and finally being able to share this with him.

“I’m so proud of you, y/n. I knew you’d get this promotion, you’ve earned it. When do you start as the senior assistant?”

“Next Monday. Cleo and I are going out tomorrow night for drinks to celebrate my promotion and her engagement. Oh! She and Teddy are engaged, did you see that?”

“No I didn’t, I haven’t been on any social media the last couple days. But wow, that’s awesome! Tell them congrats from me.”

“I will,” you smile completely giddy from the thrill of all the great news. “What was your amazing news?”

“We just got told earlier today that we’re nominated for four ARIA’s, the group, album, the Australian live act and for our single.”

“No way! That is amazing news! Ugh, you guys totally deserve this. I’m so proud of you, Ash. I wish we could celebrate together,” you say sadly.

“I know angel, but when tour is over I’ll have the most gorgeous date for the award show,” he says and you can hear his smile through the phone.

“I’ll be able to afford a killer dress by then.”

“So you will be my date, then?”

“Of course I will, silly.”

You continue to chat about your promotion and the excitement of the ARIA’s. What he would wear, what he would say if they actually won. The moon was high and full in the sky as you confirmed your intentions of going to the awards show.

Part 2

#ashton irwin #ashton 5 seconds of summer #ashton fletcher irwin #ashton 5sos #ashton irwin imagines #ashton irwin smut #calum #calum hood #calum 5sos #calum hood imagines #michael clifford #michael clifford imagines #michael clifford 5sos #michael 5sos #luke hemmings #luke hemmings imagine #luke 5sos

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outofthevalley-art · 6 years ago

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A little flash fic to ease myself back into writing for fandom! So I haven’t written a fic in a very long time, but @arahir‘s wonderful writing basically saved my Voltron fandom experience and also got me back into reading and writing fic, so I finally finished a flash fic using a few of her favorite tropes! Hope you guys enjoy!

Wake Up Next to You - Sheith, Domestic AU, Post-Canon, Flash Fic (1k)

Shiro had been sure that he was used to sleeping and waking up alone again. It wasn't a big deal; between living in and around several ships both alien and human, and existing in the literal void of the Black Lion's consciousness, there wasn't exactly the opportunity to cuddle up whether he wanted to or not. Even after he and Keith had gotten close enough to bridge the small space between them, he had been captaining the Atlas while Keith was leading Voltron. Sure, things were different after the war, but Shiro had already proven that he could survive hell without the little things, so he knew he could cherish them when he had them but function just fine without.

Or, at least, he had thought so. Apparently he had gone soft from Keith spoiling him with too many warm and loving nights, because he was way more upset than he had any right to be the first time we woke up alone in their shared room.

Shiro knew rationally that it was nothing and that Keith would be back soon anyway, so he tried to roll over and go back to sleep. Five minutes later, though, he had shifted three times with his eyes screwed shut and there was still no Keith. It was like instead of relishing in the ability to lay as sprawled out as he wanted, he was acutely aware of the empty space where his boyfriend should be, down to the shape he was most likely to be in at this point of the night.

Shiro sat up with a frustrated sigh. This was stupid. Keith was in the bathroom, or checking on something, and he knew that--but after everything the two had gone through he also knew that he wasn't going to be able to sleep before he figured out where Keith had ended up.

He got up in one fluid motion, nearly leaving his arm on the bedside table by accident as he made his way to the rest of the living quarters in nothing but his boxers. He passed by the second bedroom on the way there and hesitated for a second, wondering if he should check in there first. As if on cue, a soft cooing brought his attention back to the living room couch. Shiro couldn’t help but smile as he turned to look, but was surprised when he didn’t immediately see the back of Keith’s head.

Quieter now, Shiro padded the rest of the way to the living room, and it was all he could do not to laugh once he got close enough to peer over the low couch. Keith was there, just slumped so low in the cushion that he was practically laying down. One hand was wrapped around a mostly empty bottle, which had drooped just barely out of reach of the surprisingly content child still cradled in his arms.

He watched for a second more, wanting to memorize the sight, before shaking his head. “You know you’re not supposed to sleep while holding the baby,” he teased, leaning over and carefully taking the bottle from Keith’s limp hand. It was still warm, though, and the way Keith’s entire body jolted at Shiro’s sound and touch confirmed that he hadn’t dozed off for too long.

“What?” Keith said automatically, voice slurred slightly as he shifted to sit up more. The baby fussed a little at the sudden movement, eyebrows furrowing in such a Keith-esque way that Shiro finally did laugh, but it was easy enough for Shiro to calm him with the rest of the bottle. “‘M awake. I didn’t--” Keith blinked twice before deflating into an embarrassed scowl. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Shiro said, steadying the bottle in his floating hand so that he could walk around to the front of the couch and settle on the floor next to his boyfriend. “No harm done, but I’m pretty sure it was my turn anyway.”

Keith shrugged it off, but Shiro didn’t miss the way his expression melted back into something softer as he regarded their son in his lap. “You didn’t wake up immediately, though. It looked like you were having a good dream,” Keith said, as if that was a good enough reason for him. It probably was. They hadn’t actually been parents for that long in retrospect, but even so it had been long enough that Shiro was well aware of how big a favor getting up twice in a row really was. He wanted to point this out, but the sentiment hit harder than he expected.

“I love you,” he blurted out instead, leaning into the couch so that he could rest his head against Keith’s. He felt rather than heard Keith chuckle under his breath and start to turn his head, so Shiro turned as well to meet him halfway for a kiss.

An annoyed huff ended the moment prematurely. They both pulled away to turn their attention back to the baby in Keith’s arms, who had finished his bottle and was eyeing Shiro’s floating hand with an open mouth. Shifting to stand back up, Shiro pulled the bottle and arm back towards himself. “I’m gonna go get his pacifier before he decides to gum all over my fingers,” Shiro said, stopping by the kitchen to put the bottle away first. “Wanna watch some TV while the little guy’s awake?” As much as he wanted to bring Keith back to bed with him, it would probably be a few before the baby was ready to go back to his crib. Might as well spend the time together.

“Sure, sounds like a plan” Keith said, shifting to grab the remote as Shiro began to rinse out the bottle. “But we should probably stop calling him that and give him a real name eventually.”

The bottle clanged against the bottom of the sink.

#voltron #sheith #domestic au #baby au #keith #shiro #i really wanted to finish this in time for jojo's birthday but the timing wasn't good for me #but either way you have been such a positive force in this fandom and for me in general so i just wanted to write something cute #now to get myself back into the swing of writing longer things haha #arahir #flash fic #my fic

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elleleuthold · 8 years ago

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Interbellum

This was written for these prompts here, including a dialogue prompt by @the-modern-typewriter.

The newsnet report sets them all off-balance. Three years they’ve been out of the black, three years of making good on their severance packages: a bit of sterilized land to bring back to life, housing, food stipends, all the net access they want. Yeah, it’s Corps-standard housing, with cameras in every corner and bots nestled into the walls, and yes, they’re basically rehabilitating a land-fill with their life-force but it’s theirs, is the thing.

Three years of trying to make something work in this new world, and now there’s a new war.

Rigel tracks the others through the spreading numbness in his face. Vega is signing wide and loud, her face set in a snarl and rage in every line of her frame. Trix sinks to the floor, her personal pad falling from lax fingers. Betel and Phi gravitate toward each other, intertwining until their hands are clenched so tight Rigel can see bones pressed against their skin. Altair stands still as death with his eyes unfocused, hand over his mouth, and it’s only when Vega turns off the feed that they realize he’s bitten his thumb so hard he broke skin.

Rigel feels like he should say something. Something like, We’ll be okay, or Pull together, or even just Squad meeting at 1300, just for the familiarity of it. But they’re not soldiers anymore, not really, and for all that they’ve hung together, their lives are all their own now.

His wrist alert chirps in the silence, a tone of cascading bells that means Laima’s calling him, probably because she saw the report too and wants to check in, wants to make sure he’s okay. He’s not sure he is.

The alert sounds again, unanswered, and that’s enough to break their silent, shared desolation. Betel moves to inspect Altair’s hand and Phi ask Vega to help with the weekly aquaponics maintenance, a request that’s more likely to result in overfed fish than anything else but will at least keep them both distracted.

Trix bolts. Rigel nearly goes after her—the last times she ran is still fresh in his mind, the hiss of the airlock and the cold-sweat horror of watching her float between ships—but they’re on-planet now, and there’s only so much she can get up to. Even paying her bail after yet another bar fight is a fairly tiny sacrifice at the moment, in the wider abyss his world’s just morphed into.

He retreats to his quarters, trying to think of a way to tell Laima, No, I’m not okay, that won’t end in a storm of civilian good intentions on their doorstep.

Trix isn’t at lunch, but that’s fairly normal. Phi and Betel aren’t at lunch either, wrapped up in each other somewhere (he’s not jealous, he just… hopes he gets there someday, with someone, and he’s ridiculously hopeful Laima will be that someone and yet…). He only starts to really worry when Trix doesn’t show up for their evening sparring match. He waits twenty minutes, then strips out of his extra gear and goes looking. Vega’s in the kitchen, blasting club songs and making herself a pick-me-up smoothie.

Have you seen Trix? He signs. She rolls her eyes, the flash of her hands flippant.

She’s out.

He frowns at her. He’s known that much since this morning.

Any idea where?

Nope.

He checks the logs. Unless she’s been screwing with the house again, Trix has been out continuously since just after breakfast. She’d put “town” in the destination marker. Great.

Vega taps him on the shoulder.

Try the docks, she signs, and he sighs and nods his thanks. The spacedocks are not his favorite place these days, but Trix has kept up an attachment, somehow.

He heads back to his quarters to change again, exchanging soft house clothes for, on further thought, the thickest of his explorer suits. It’s Trix, he tells himself as he checks and double-checks each buckle and seal, triple-checks his breather. Stars only know what she’s gotten herself into.

The shuttle is is crowded and stinks of bleach, and the docks themselves aren’t much better. He makes himself search thoroughly, even though the yawning open space over his head makes him question every step he takes. Even though the AstraCorps recruitment drive, previously confined to flickering posters and infrequent net ads, has ticked over into full-burn wartime levels. The Anthem is sounding on repeat from every speaker he crosses. There are people wearing Corps badges handing out flyers. Vid ads flash over buildings, some from the new colony basecamp missions, a few from the old explorer missions, and a handful with actual Operation StarForge footage. He might even be in some of them.

He checks he hasn’t accidentally left any old regalia tagged to his suit and tries not to watch.

A kid with a slap-on badge shoves a glossy bit of paper in his hands and Rigel takes it without comment. It occurs to him, somewhat belatedly, that Trix would hate all this clamor even more than he does. Whatever peace she gets out of looking up at unfiltered sky is probably drowned out by this much insistent humanity. He considers alternatives: The Sol’s day market? One of the not-quite-official Corps bars? No, they’ll be just as crowed as the docks.

He’s thinking about this the wrong way. This isn’t “Trix on a bender” or “where would Trix go.” It’s been nearly 14 hours with no contact. This is “mission parameters exceeded, throw out the book.” If Trix were looking for me, he considers, what would she do?

She’d get some better intel, that’s what she’d do. By whatever means necessary.

He finds her at the edge of the settlement, sitting on a piece of ribbed plastic paneling with half her explo suit shoved down around her hips and her short dark hair standing up in hand-tugged disarray. Her breather gear is settled between her legs, close at hand but not attached.

Fear balloons tight in his gut—she’s so still, and the oxygen content out here is so low, and he never thought she’d be one to take herself out but—but then he kicks through a spray of gravel and she twists around.

“What?” she snaps. Her pupils contract to pinpoints in the glare of his lamp and she turns away again with a huff. He can see her pulse jump in her neck.

“I never thought I’d see you slumming it like…this,” he says. The one thing vets never have to worry about is a properly mixed air supply. After a four year tour in the black, AstraCorps makes sure they’ll never have to fear death by asphyxiation ever again. It’s practically the only thing they really can rely on.

“You weren’t supposed to fucking see it,” she snarls, still not looking at him. “How did you find me?”

“Now, is that the way you greet someone who’s been frantically worried for you?”

She glares out at the darkness.

“It is if you activated my tracer.”

“I don’t have access to that anymore,” he reminds her. He sits next to her and turns off the lamp. The plastic is even more uncomfortable than it looks. “I triangulated your wrist alert instead.”

“Ass,” she says, and he just nods. He’s not her CO and they’re not quite friends, but he thinks she probably knows, in that unspoken space between them, that he was always going to follow. Old habits, and all that.

The darkness folds around them and chill settles into his bones despite the mild weather. He needs a distraction, needs her to keep talking.

He hands her the breather mask and she makes a face, but she takes it.

“I went by the recruiter’s office,” she says after a few breaths. “There was a line out the door and halfway down the street. Kids, mostly. Probably only ever been on an ark ship before. Most’ve them looked like they’ve never had a decent meal in their lives.” She takes another breath of O2 mix, the breather pressing against her cheeks hard. Like she needs it for more than just air.

“They changed the standard package.”

His eyes are adjusting, stars spreading out above them. He hugs his knees.

“How so?” he asks, concentrating on the words.

“There’s a clause for family support for four years, even if you can’t complete the whole stretch, and for four more after if you do. Extra support getting a union-approved job after, too. And they dropped the age minimum again. For training only, it says, but,” she shrugs. “16. Two years of training, two years on tour.”

Rigel hissed through his teeth. Training. They’d all heard that one before. It was amazing, the sorts of missions the brass could pass of as training. Stick an experienced officer in charge and call it a milk run or a systems test and you could be en route anywhere.

“They’ll go over quota,” he says, mostly to hear it aloud. They both know it. A family stipend and job security after? Half the under under-twenties in the colonies will sign on just for better food and air.

“They need officers, too,” Trix says. “There’s a course, for former enlisted. Six months, plus escort runs, and they pop you straight to lieutenant.”

“Awful well prepared, aren’t they,” he says. Awful just about covers it, really. He watches her watch the sky; her breathing is slow and steady. Controlled. Practiced.

“You going to re-up?”

She slumps.

“Yeah,” she sighs. “Yeah, I think I will.”

“Me too.”

She punches him in the arm.

“You hate it up there, I remember how much you hated it. You can hardly sit here looking up. You should stay in the settlement, grow crops, ask Laima to marry you, have some kids.”

He shakes his head.

“And then what, watch them ship off to some new war I’m too old to fight in?”

Her face scrunches up.

“That’s not...” She waves pass-along and faulty intel. “You can’t just stop living, waiting for it to come back.” She takes up the breather again. “Besides,” she adds, “the others are going to need you.”

It’s true. Phi and Betel won’t go back; they won’t risk losing each other now. And Vega and Altair can’t go back, even if they wanted to. Vega’s moods are too chaotic, and Altair’s prosthesis won’t pass a medical exam. Full-humans only, as if that makes a difference in someone’s ability to sit at a ship’s computer.

“If I pair off with Laima, I’ll be leaving them anyway.”

“Pff. Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, LT.”

He doesn’t want to go back. They both know it. But he doesn’t want her to be alone up there, either. But maybe that’s his problem too, and not hers.

She’s watching the sky again, tiny pricks of light reflected in her eyes.

“They’re beautiful, aren’t they,” he says, and he can just make out the curve of her smile in the darkness.

“Yeah,” she says. She reaches one hand up, extended in front of her, a shadow against the spray of starlight above them.

“Yeah, they really are.”

#writeblr #amwriting #original scifi #original fiction #original writing #writing by me #guess what i am super hyped about right now #if you guessed andromeda you get a cookie

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