#I didnt even know Pax was still going man good for them

[theoryandahalf]

Randomly, I watched Matpat's Pax East Storytime and noticed it only had 60k views and zero comments. Such a shame. It was a really heartfelt, thoughtful speech, so if you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend it. He goes over the story of how he gave Undertale to the Pope, how he ghosted Shigeru Miyamoto, and how video games helps him bond with Steph and Ollie. Very sweet.

[gamesmasternotes]

Two Sessions In

I'm quite pleased.

We're now two decent sessions in to ym Dragonlance 5e campaign and we've covered a good amount of ground. The players are successfully getting into the system, learning the background, etc, and I've been very pleased to see them react just right.

At this stage, having replaced the Innfellows entirely (those characters no longer existing in the timeline, the party have reunited after five years of wandering searching for evidence of the old gods still left in Ansalon. They reunite in Solace to discover not only they they have each found something. Each has a piece to a puzzle which leads them to Xak Tsaroth, fearful of approaching armies they have all heard are coming from the north. Armies of DRAGON-men.

Their first encounter with Draconians they found very interesting, and they were suitably very shocked when they started turning to stone or exploding! The party are now VERY concerned that those Draconians were pretty damn tanky to start with, and theres evidence of armies marching around.

Thankfully they were too amused by Fewmaster Toede, so he survives to annoy another day.

And they've now also managed to get to Xak Tsaroth and are in the middle levels now. So they've neatly chosen the path which sets up the rest of the immediate story. This is veryhandy. I've even managed to squeeze in a side-quest to hunt for the Spellbook of Fistandantilus, which I hope will open some interesting roleplay opportunities later, especially as they move south beyond Pax Tharkas.

In the catacombs of Xak Tsaroth, about half have fallen in love with the Gully Dwarves, and the others have started loathing them (but no Dwarves in my party!).

And they've been correctly bricking themselves after their first encounter with Onyx (Above ground)! Which is perfect.

They're making their way down in search of the Disks, and I've planted the seeds for needing to do something with the Blue Crystal thing (had to change it from a staff), but I'm not sure they know what to do with it. I'll see how that goes!

_______________________________________________________

The players have also been told that they will not be earning Inspiration automatically each session, but will instead gain it if they offer a short write-up of each session on our club’s Discord server.

Here is the first, from the meditations of Shep, the Kagonesti Scout.

It is very good, to be back together. I am so happy to again be with everyone. In the other place before, it was very quiet, very peaceful, but cold without friends. Five years, it is a long time alone. A lot of time to think. A lot of time for things to happen, too many things to say. Some days I think, this time, this day I die maybe. But then I remember that I must do this and come back to them. They asked this of me. I promised them.

And now, everyone is excited, happy to be together again. It is very good we find what we search for, or sign of it perhaps. Gods look like what, anyway? I thought of this when I looked all this time. If I see it, will it look like gods look? Who can say? But if you don't look you can't find. Everywhere I went, I ask people 'where are there no people? I am looking for something lost people cannot find.

It must be where there are no people, or they would find it', and they say 'go south, there is no one there'. So I go south, and I don't know what I find, but after a long time I see something strange, and everyone is very excited to hear it so perhaps I did find something good anyway.

I don't know what is happening next, but we will do it together anyway. We will see.

_______________________________________________________

The second session log, from the diary of Tedorock the human Barbarian:

Scrawled in a ragged leatherbound book in poor handwriting: What a day, after so long being apart from my friends we have already started a new adventure together, I was the first to arrive to the inn it was amazing to see Otik again and Tika got so big, I didn't recognise her but I'm glad they remembered me, I would have been very sad if they didn't.

Seeing Lily again was a shock, at first I didn't recognise her but when she pulled her disguise off it took me by surprise, she is properly grown up now and looked very tough made me feel proud! we got to eat lots of food and soon Robert arrived he hadn't changed at all just as fancy as ever! and soon after Shep, Sasha and Dastan all arrived, they said a Frog-man had bothered them on the way into town, I've never heard of a frog man before! I was so happy to see them all, I'm glad Shep hasn't changed a bit, Sasha has grown up so much too it so nice to see her doing well.

I told everyone about my adventures, and about my dreams that D'Argent told me were from the gods! I wish we could have stayed in the Inn I missed it so much but we got warned that the town Chief was coming for Lilys neckless her proof that there are still gods! So we had to run away, Robert and Dastan stayed behind to draw them off, they are strong warriors but I am very worried about them...

It was fun to be on the road with my friends again but I wish we were all here, I didn't get to see Gelbin or Tilda I hope they are ok too, we slept all together in a cave with delicious water in, but when we woke up there was a strange wizardy type man, he told us about some people that failed I think? he spoke so much and didn't make any sense all I could figure out was that we needed to go to the place in my dreams.

A new crumpled page in the book:

This day was less fun, We found an abandoned settlement, it seems like the people managed to escape, I hope they are ok...

There seems to be armies running around causing terror, Nightshade told us they attacked his home, it makes me so sad to hear about all these people we cant help. I don't remember the fight with scaled men I went to the bad place again and it was over fast.

The Stars are missing! I knew something was wrong with the sky, I woke everyone up cause they are all very smart, and they figured out it was the stars of Paladine and Takhisis gods who had a war in the past! I wonder if they are going to fight again?

A small note scrawled in the bottom of the book:

I can't sleep, that huge monster that tried to eat us has freaked me out I thought the old dwarf fort would be safe.

A hastily written page, the paper a bit damp from the moist underground air:

Its been another strange day, We found the place we needed to go! but it wasn't all good, fighting those lizard men again was scary, but not as scary as that DRAGON! I feel bad about running away but it just scared me so bad... That temple felt nice though it must have been Lilys mum Mishakal, shes a god I think? she made Lily all strange like too happy to be a person. I'm glad shes found what she has been looking for for so long. I can't believe I found some new friends here in the temple, those small guys are so nice that they told us lots of stuff and that they loved my pickles, no-one who likes pickles can be bad. They told us to speak to their boss Fudge-high-burper and that he was underground.

This underground place is a bit dangerous so many holes to fall into but making another friend was nice, I'm glad she likes pickles too Boopa is a good person, That slide she led us too was fun but I am a bit worried about her Tribe being led by ogres, they didnt sound very nice.

A small note written in a corner of the page:

*I'm scared to go fight the Dragon, I know I have to but I really dont want too. *

[anti-brxxdgee]

Jacksepticeye Ego Lore

So surrounding the May Egopocalypse, Ive seen some people be confused and lost about whats going on! So I figured I’d try to put together a lil ego masterlist!

Im sorry if this isnt all correct or I forget some things, feel free to add on in the comments or reblogs :)

( the video links should explain lot by themselves but ive added in a “small” explanation as well )

Jack Himself

So the “main” ego I suppose is Jack. Since Sean puts on the name Jack for his videos, the character “Jack” has become its own ego. (( at least in my mind anyway ))

Antisepticeye “Anti”

The most popular alter-ego by far. He is community made. The community drew art and added him in stories. He is the evil version of Jack and feeds off of the attention we give. His main goal is to kill Jack. The first time we actually see him is October 2016 during the lead up to Say Goodbye. Next we see Anti in Jack’s Pax Intro, Always Watching.  In July 2017, Darkiplier vs Antisepticeye  comes out. Jack dropped hints leading up to that but continued even after the release. It quickly discovered that Anti didnt have his signature gauges and that it was Jack just pretending to him and “mocking” him. Mark later confirmed that the video wasnt canon. After dropping more hints through thumbnails, tags and social media we see Anti take over again in Kill Jacksepticeye. Jack doesnt upload a second video leaving the fandom in a firey mess. In the video Anti is considerably more angry, moving around more and threatening us after we turned him into a  meme. The next time he appears is in Doki Doki Literature Club. There are hints in zalgo (his signature text) in the tags. Then Jack hits us with Overnight Watch. As a part of his December Charity live stream, Jack had the stream run over night and the community was tasked with keeping an eye on things. Anti made a few appearance throughout the night but all the footage was from older videos. As of recently (May 2018) we learned that Anti didnt kill Jack after Kill JSE, but rather put him in a coma, where its unsure if hes still in said coma. Its assumed that Anti is trying to torture Jack with his own fears in a neverending nightmare.We see Anti appear again in Dark Silence where we see him in full form minus the throat cut though which is suspicious

Chase Brody

A typical “bro” youtuber. Loves trickshots. First seen in A Jacksepticeye Power Hour- Chase Brody formerly titled “Bro Average”  In the video we learn that his wife is divorcijng him and taking the kids. At the end he “kills himself” but the after outro clip shows him opening his eyes. In Kill JSE Dr. Schneep tells us that he saved “his good friend chase brody” and that he went back and saw his family again but its unknown if they took him back. Chase is seen again in TIE  where we see that Chase has been taking over recording for Jack. Throughout the video we learn that Chase has two kids and sees them on the weekend. Its also learned that Chase is very depressed and possibly an alcoholic.

Doctor Schneeplestein (Schneep)

Ze good doctah. First seen in A Jacksepticeye Power Hour- Dr. Schneeplestein In time before Kill JSE, a photo of a corrupted Dr. Schneep is posted to Jack’s instagram. Another photo’s caption tells us that he stitched Anti back together after Say Goodbye. In Kill JSE, we learn that Schneep and Jack are good friends and he saved him after Say Goodbye.Dr Schneep fails to save Jack again and disappears for 9 months. We got a postcard of a german beach with the words “Wish you were here” with “Wis” glitched out. 3 versions are posted, each getting bloodier. Then its deleted. Schneep comes back after his vacation in The Doctor Is Back. 

Jackieboy Man

Im gonna be honest i dont know all that much lore wise Jackieboy Man is the superhero character. His first video on Jack’s channel is Jackieboy Man Returns. He also returns for South Park Fractured But Whole. He’s been missing ever since.

Marvin the Magnificent

Marvin is a magician. His first and only video is  A Jacksepticeye Power Hour - Marvin the Magnificent. Lately, flashes of him have appeared in Try To Fall Asleep as well as his mask appearing and disappearing in Winning as Thanos and Thanos Infinity Mode. 

Jameson Jackson (JJ)

Jameson is a mute character who is thought to be a time traveler. His first and only video is A Jacksepticeye Power Hour - Jameson Jackson formerly titled “Silent Movie”  During the video, Anti easily takes him over so its unknown what side he’s truly on. Flashes of him also appear in Try Not To Fall Asleep. 

I think that just about does it. If I left anything out please let me know and I’ll add it in! If you made it this far, thank you lol, this took like two hours to write and link everything.

// @hufflepufftrax @lum1natrix @marielgum @no-strings-puppet @therealjacksepticeye @aceofspades-lena @katielovesyoutubers35 @fear-is-nameless //

[0u4gh05t5]

me? attempting an anti theory? its more likely than you think

in jack's latest video, the game's 1st chapter was about a man who did something so bad to his family, that he killed himself. he said it was all his fault. and jack, he kept saying, "it's all my fault." of course, that could be apart of the game but what if it isnt? what if it's jack, like, ego type jack, not our jack, knowing that what happened to anti was his fault? anti says, "its all your fault." in say goodbye, that could be directed to jack, not us! he [anti] could be trying to get jack to become aware of what he did to him, maybe the knife slit? and the person who walked in could in fact be anti! we never saw him, and hes always a sneaky boy. jack is the one at the computer in the nice house, while anti is in the hell hole, trying to free himself of what hell he's endured for god knows how long. and, if those chapters in the game all relate to each other, there could be a story. anti walking in to, 'talk' to jack, and getting his revenge, perse?  like, what if our jack hasn't been around since anti originally came? maybe he was the jack in say goodbye, and he screamed help me? what if ego jack managed to get by anti, acting like jack and then once anti found out, he reappeared in the pax? like, he thought he caught bad jack, but he got good jack, and hes trying to get good jack back and capturing bad jack. hence the door and bad jack not knowing schneep.   i never saw him as 'bad,' just as, pained. anti has problems, we know this. what if he was a normal guy before this? what if he was a neutral jack, or even a sean of sorts? what if after bad jack got ahold of him, schneep didnt recognise him? bad jack, he manipulated all of them, erased their memories of previous antii, even his own. everyone sees 'bad' anti, no matter what. lets go back to say goodbye for a moment. when he takes over, he slits jacks throat, right? well, that jack was a lot happier, more, energetic. of course, current jack is too, but that's.. that's an act. in say goodbye, anti reaches out to us. we hear a 'help me!' in the back, assumingly good!jack. anti says hes gone forever. he thinks he got rid of bad!jack. then, he says says, 'its all your fault.' i think it couldve been him talking to bad!jack. finally, he says, "say goodbye." as in, "bye bad!jack!" but! bad!jack, is still around. he tricked anti, made him think he was gone. then, he acted like good!jack. all of a sudden, anti realised that he failed. bad!jack is still here. that's why he came back in pax.  and! in pax, that very well could be just to us. "i've been here this entire time!" anti could be lying, he was gone,then he realised that everything went to hell, jack wasn't, right. he came back, "im not going anywhere!" he cant go anywhere, because he messed up. hes trying to fix his mistakes, but its getting harder and harder for him. (idk, i didnt really know what to say here)  KILL JACKSEPTICEYE, A HOLY GRAIL. so, what happened in there was hen was trying to save jack. then, hen disappeared. if you look closely, it says 'jack' suffered from memory loss. when hen came back, jack didnt recognize him. maybe, this is all bad!jack. in kjse, hen said jack did so many great things, saving chase, saving peter, but thats not jack. thats bad!jack. he 'saved' them, and sabotaged his own recovery with hen. when anti took hen, hen was trying save the bad!jack. anti prevented him from doing so by keeping him hidden away. but he returned unharmed, right? maybe anti didnt hurt him. he explained to hen who that jack was. hen came back, PISSED. he wants bad!jack OUT. he needs bad!jack OUT. that is my theory. please help elaborate.  @fear-is-nameless @lum1natrix @chase-brody-protection-squad uhhh and anyone else i forgot other blog names im so sorry

[morganbelarus]

Mouthful by mouthful: the 2019 Bad sex award in quotes

Extravagant metaphors are indecently exposed in the shortlist for the Literary Reviews annual booby prize for sexual scenes in fiction

The River Capture by Mary Costello

He clung to her, crying, and then made love to her and went far inside her and she begged him to go deeper and, no longer afraid of injuring her, he went deep in mind and body, among crowded organ cavities, past the contours of her lungs and liver, and, shimmying past her heart, he felt her perfection.

The Office of Gardens and Ponds by Didier Decoin

The earthy taste surprised her. When he was alive, when it swelled inside Miyukis mouth, Katsuros penis had tasted of raw fish, of warm young bamboo shoots, and of fresh almonds when she finally released its juices. Now it was insipid and muddy to her tongue, like the pools of the temples of Heian Ky when the Office of Gardens and Ponds had them drained for cleaning.

Miyuki had loved this man. Not that he was a very good lover but what did she know, after all, since she had experienced no one but him? He used to upset her by the way he silently loomed up behind her and took her by the shoulders, his nails scratching her flesh, his strong breath enveloping her neck, a smell of ripe fruit and poorly tanned leather, his knee pushing against her lower back to open her tunic and expose a portion of naked flesh against which he would then rub his organ as if he were furtively making omelette rolls. He did not derive his pleasure without her, but in front of her, and differently.

City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert

There was a sensation occurring here that I didnt even know could occur. I took the sharpest inhale of my life, and Im not sure I let my breath out for another 10 minutes. I do feel that I lost the ability to see and hear for a while, and that something might have short-circuited in my brain something that has probably never been fully fixed since. My whole being was astonished. I could hear myself making noises like an animal, and my legs were shaking uncontrollably (not that I was trying to control them), and my hands were gripping down so hard over my face that I left fingernail divots in my own skull.

Then it became more.

And after that, it became even more still.

Then I screamed as though I were being run over by a train, and that long arm of his was reaching up again to palm my mouth, and I bit into his hand the way a wounded soldier bites on a bullet.

And then it was the most, and I more or less died.

Pax by John Harvey

She gave a yet deeper, moaning sigh. Like breathing in he saw the word he had said shiver and expand inside her. Her arms moved now, and flexed: out of here, Venus de Milo. He watched the death-life fill her growingly. She grabbed and caressed him with more muscle, more zest, than ever before. Her long lean arms were spider arms, while her kisses roved and dug.

I see it, he said. You are the female praying mantis, devouring her mate.

I am. You are. I shall eat every shred of you.

Mouthful by mouthful.

Exactly. Ah. But boy, you taste good. She licked her lips, and pulled him close, but now he was clasping too. It was a kind of slow wrestling, they were knitting each other into a loose slipping knot. He was upside down over her, loving her bush and lick-kissing like eating her inner thighs. Till at last they loved fully and later lay back. She did not chatter. Their arms stirred in a luxurious desultory twining.

The Electric Hotel by Dominic Smith

The actual lovemaking was a series of cryptic clues and concealed pleasures. A sensual treasure hunt. She asked for something, then changed her mind. He made adjustments and calibrations, awaited further instruction.

For most of the proceedings he felt his own desire as if it were tethered to a wire, a bright red balloon floating in his peripheral vision, but eventually he burst through. It was toward the end, as their breathing quickened. Her stage directions had stalled out into silence. He looked to his right and noticed the scene in the smoky lens of the mirror above the bureau, saw his own body move with the steady rhythm of a bellows blowing air at the base of a fire. It brought back the early experiments at the photographic society in Paris, the wiring of a birds feet to a cameragun, the mounting tension and uplift before a surge of exasperated flight. His own face looking back in the mirror open-mouthed, flushed, euphoric was a wild, strange thing to him. A beguiled stranger hed never met, held in place by an infinite loop. Then his eyes locked on Sabines in the mirror and he could see that she was pleased with her staging, with her hair fanning across the pillow, with the way her ankles locked about his calves so that her long white feet formed a perfect V. And it was the act of looking back at the filmstrip juddering above the bureau that sent her into a final boisterous delirium. She bit his shoulder, then whispered into the mirror, Nous voil, catching her breath, There we are.

Original Article : HERE ;

Mouthful by mouthful: the 2019 Bad sex award in quotes was originally posted by MetNews