#I didn't until the part of high school English class where students had to give critiques on each other's papers and a girl informed me of

[a-really-cool-blog-name]

Am I the only one who REALLY hates the look of double spacing? I'll be trying to read something and then I get hit in the face with the double spacing and it just looks so weird and it's so hard to focus on the text; it's a similar problem to the one I have whenever people don't put breaks in their paragraphs.

Like which of these sentences looks better to you?

"John went to the store and bought milk."

"John went to the store and bought milk."

The last one has way too big of spaces, right?

I understand a lot of people learned this technique but come on, we don't typically use typewriters anymore!

[yurislotusgarden]

TEACHER/PROFESSOR!DAZAI HC'S PART 2

ʚїɞ There are hc's just about teacher Dazai but also some including reader once again so-

ʚїɞ Dazai x reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ word count: 785

ʚїɞ Part 1

ʚїɞ My current ongoing Christmas event

ʚїɞ Tw’s: None! Just some regular fluff and stuff

ʚїɞ The first part was more liked than I thought damn

ཐིཋྀ If you want to find him outside of the lesson there are 3 options if he isn’t in the classroom

ཐིཋྀ One would be that he’s in Chuuya’s classroom to annoy him (many students wonder why he goes there when they claim to hate each other)

ཐིཋྀ The second one would be that he’s gone to the teacher's lounge probably annoying Kunikida

ཐིཋྀ Or the third option, the lil shit is wandering around the halls so you need to count on sheer luck to find him

ཐིཋྀ Everyone wonders whether he comes to work with bed hair everyday because he's too lazy to brush it out or his hair is naturally messy

ཐིཋྀ HE WOULD HAVE HIS HAIR UP IN A PONYTAIL VERY OFTEN SO IT DOESN’T GO INTO HIS EYES VBDWIBWJWDAEDIVAD

ཐིཋྀ In winter he makes it look like he has a new sweater/shirt everyday, but he simply styles it differently (Motivation comes from the amusement he gets after confusing the students)

ཐིཋྀ He so would wear jewelry like necklaces, earrings, and rings (he wore all his rings outside of the gloves besides the marriage band until his marriage was revealed to the students, after that, it joined the other rings on top and not under the material)

ཐིཋྀ Chuuya even gets him new jewelry every few months, even if there isn't a special occasion

ཐིཋྀ He wanted to make one of those charts with stars or other shapes for specific things like ‘you get a star if you give your work in on time’ to give out good grades practically for free but the school didn't allow him

ཐིཋྀ Students would love that idea, because who wouldn't want free good grades

ཐིཋྀ Actually, I think the school would let him do the chart thing in his first year, but said ‘no’ later

ཐིཋྀ His classroom would be decorated for different occasions, no doubt on that one

ཐིཋྀ He and Chuuya once came to work in each other's clothes and literally everyone was so lost on why they lost a bet to you

ཐིཋྀ Whenever he's in as a substitute, he makes it so damn fun that no student even thinks of skipping because they would miss absolute tea

ཐིཋྀ He always has pens/pencils for the students to borrow if they need it

ཐིཋྀ During his first few years,  a student would get expelled every year from his class due to their stupid decision to flirt with him because they wanted better grades or needed to pass

ཐིཋྀ Speaking of that, a student flirted with you once (a small passing crush) and you had to stop Dazai from expelling them for that😭✋

ཐིཋྀ One time, he randomly called in, saying he couldn't go in. It was obvious he wasn't sick but he hung up before anyone could ask questions

ཐིཋྀ You were sick, that's the reason

ཐིཋྀYou brought cookies the first time you visited Dazai’s class to actually meet the students, and immediately, they held you in high regard because ’Professor Dazai’s spouse brought a cookie for every single student in his class, and you just can’t dislike someone who gives cookies because they wanted to make sure they seem nice’

ཐིཋྀ You wanted to bring ice cream but you realized early on how much it would need to be and decided on cookies instead

ཐིཋྀ The students would be absolutely jealous of Dazai’s bentos when they saw them, no matter whether it was before they knew about you or after

ཐིཋྀ If it was before, they would always ask where he got them and he would give a random street name, just for the students to realize it was something completely different once they checked out the actual address

ཐིཋྀ If it’s after they found out, I can guarantee that some students straight up asked or even offered money to have a bento made by you💀

“It looks so delicious [random name]!”

“You still shouldn’t have asked his spouse to make you food.”

“You’re acting like the professor knows I asked about it.”

“And you’re acting like it’s not obvious that I’ve been told about that.”

ཐིཋྀ Yes, he scared those 2 students in the middle of the lecture and assigned extra work for the one that asked you for food

ཐིཋྀ Dazai gatekeeps your meals from most people, he would from everyone if it wasn't for the fact that he knows it would make you sad to be unable to give food to your friends😭

ཐིཋྀ You sometimes give Dazai 2 or more bentos than just one if you know that one of the other professors didn't make food for the day (if the other person is Chuuya, you need to tell the ginger that Dazai has another bento with him or he won't get it because of Dazai not bothering to tell him or giving it to him)

Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated

@kissesmellow21 @deonsx @sukiischaotic (I hope you 3 won't mind the tagging <3)

[sea-moon-star]

17 || CHS

Pairing: Vernon x f.reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, First Love, Fluff, Slice of life

WC: 1k

Summary: On your wedding day to Vernon, you flashback to the day you first met him, back when you were classmates in school & how you fell in love at first sight. This chronicles your fluffy, at times angsty love story from your meet cute till the day of your wedding.

A/N: True Story (almost), inspired by the song 17 by Pink Sweat$ & SVT 🌊🌙⭐️

Prologue

Walking down the aisle in a white gown while keeping my eyes trained on my groom, was as easy as breathing in a hyperbaric chamber. But it shouldn't have been, not when I hated being the center of attention, not when I wore high heels that threatened to break my fall, not when breathing itself was hard with me being an asthmatic, yet against all odds, he made everything easier by simply being present. Being in love is often described as having your breath taken away but with him, it was like he gave me the breath of life. Chwe Hansol was like a breath of fresh air in my suffocating existence. Every time, I'd been gasping for air, he'd been there, keeping me alive, I still remembered the first time we'd met like it was yesterday.

"I wanna love you as strong, when we're 92 the same as 17."

Chapter 1 - 17

Shifting to a new school was something I'd always dreaded. But I had the practice, given that my dad had a job that kept sending him on projects across the world and this was my 7th school in many years. But this one mattered more than the rest, this is where I'd do my high school, that part of my school life that was romanticized beyond my imagination. But it was nothing like the books, movies, songs had told me it would be.

Shifting to a new country meant no one spoke in English, everyone spoke in Korean even though the teaching took place in English in this so called fancy international school in Seoul which I'd been assured was the best of the best. But here I was, back to crying in bathroom stalls, eating lunch alone and being bullied and excluded by the class for being an outsider. They hated me for scoring straight A's without realizing that studying was my only constant in a childhood where I kept shifting cities and losing friends, for not being beautiful enough as per Korean standards without understanding what steroids do to a child suffering from a chronic illness and they hated me because all the adults loved me, not knowing that when they praised me for being so mature for a child my age, I didn't take it as a compliment but a consequence of having lived through trauma.

So naturally, I did the only thing that made sense to me, I studied through the day, cried myself to sleep at night. If it wasn't bad enough that I was being troubled by the students, there was a teacher who took pleasure in making my life harder. The swim coach made it her life's mission to humiliate me because I couldn't swim in the deep end like the others, though she refused to give any instructions in English, I had to not only try to comprehend and follow her Korean instructions but it also meant I couldn't explain my asthma to her because she wouldn't give me any time of her day. I was trying my best to pick up swimming, to push myself to my best but it was never enough for her. Until the day when it time for the swim practicals and despite my many refusals, she wanted everyone to swim from the deep end. None of the students helped me as I tried to explain in my broken Korean that I couldn't pull this off and the coach assumed I was just being lazy and making excuses. She ended up doing what she did with any student who she thought needed to learn a lesson, she pushed me unsuspectingly into the pool, expecting me to just swim my way out of it. And I tried, I promise you I did. But it simply wasn't enough, and sure enough I started drowning somewhere around the 9ft mark.

At first, I started flailing reflexively but somewhere in the back of my mind, the thought that it wouldn't be so bad to give up made it's home and I stopped trying. I hated my life, I wanted the pain to stop so this wasn't a bad idea was it? It would be so easy to just let go. Except just as I made up my mind to give up, I felt an iron clad grip on my wrist, refusing to let go. Next thing I knew I was coughing up water & back on dry land, the first thing I heard was his deep voice arguing with the teacher in Korean, I could barely get the gist but turned out that he was defending me in front the teacher. He seemed to have put 2 & 2 together from the class in panic had confessed that they knew I had asthma but refused to tell the teacher this because they thought it would've been fun to watch me suffer. I couldn't explain the surge of warmth I felt at the fact that someone was finally standing up for me, when I couldn't. But the next thing he did, made me break down entirely, I didn't believe in love at first sight but I was a goner right then & there.

He turned to me with his tender gaze, "Are you okay? I'm so sorry about what happened. I promise I'll speak to my father about it, he's on the school board. You'll be okay, but for now let's just get you to the school nurse okay? Do you feel okay to stand up?? Can you walk?" At first, I thought the lack of oxygen had messed up my brain, he was just speaking in fluent Korean then how was I understanding him so perfectly? Until, it struck me that he'd switched to english, the words slipping off his tongue like it was second nature. I couldn't believe it, finally, I had someone who understood me, someone who saw me for who I was. Nothing felt better than telling him, "Thank you, thank you for saving my life." Because he had, not just literally but even metaphorically. And in that moment, I could already picture our future- shaking hands and becoming friends at the nurse's office, library study hangs that soon became date nights, our first kiss after he scored the winning goal at the football match, dancing under the stars during prom night as the DJ played, "17 by Pink Sweats & SVT" and recreating that moment by playing the same song, as I walked down my wedding aisle a decade later.

"We'll be dancing the same groove, when we're 92, the same as 17."

To Be Continued... 🌊🌙⭐️

[tleeaves]

Hi! I’m trying to befriend my favourite mutuals so I’m asking a bunch of questions to get to know you all better

What was/is your favourite subject in school? Were/are you good at it?

What country do you live in? What do you like/dislike about it?

Are you currently writing/planning an original story? If so, what is it about?

What genres of media do you usually consume? What books would you recommend to people?

What is your favourite poison?

what is your favourite method of murder (both to read about and what you would actually use)?

What patterns do you usually notice in the people that you hang out with?

Can I message you?

Hi, darling!! Love these questions, thank you so much for sending them through 🥺 Honoured to be considered a favourite mutual.

My favourite subject was absolutely English. It was my top subject when I graduated as well, and I was definitely good at it. I wasn't always though. I actually had trouble reading as a kid. I didn't even really like reading until I got to around 10 years old. And I had a few rough years in high school where no matter how hard I tried in English classes, I could have sworn two teachers in particular were out to give me a hard time for a couple years (to the point where I was nearly averaging on a D in their classes, whereas all other years I was a straight A student in English, including my final years, so the contrast is still weird to look back on, considering nothing substantial actually changed in my learning between those years).

Australia! I like the environment here, generally, not just in terms of vibes from folk but also nature. I do like that where I am in particular they seem to try and incorporate more greenery into built up areas. I dislike our education system deeply and the fact that geographically we're split off from much of the world.

Yes, I am! Both writing and planning (have done so much planning over the years, vaguely, went to write, and realised I needed an outline, and I'm still finishing that up so I can continue the writing part). It's about the sacrifices we make to protect what we care about, essentially. It's also what I would consider high fantasy (though it's technically a blend between high/historical fantasy and low fantasy). Also, horror and romance elements because it's not my work without a bit of horror and some romance at this point (sue me, this stuff goes hand in hand so well sometimes).

Genres of media: dark fantasy (so not outright horror but also too dark to be purely what you might just call fantasy), historical drama, aaand romance (but it's usually mixed in with something else because I struggle to read straight up romance). Books I recommend people are usually tailored to what I know of their interests. Will usually try to squeeze in something by V.E. Schwab though.

Ooh. Good question. Assuming you're talking about actual poison and not just a drink (drink: mocha) it would have to be mistletoe. It's not suuuper effective in small doses, I know, but hear me out: it's a hemiparasitic plant and there's been debates over whether it can be considered a carnivorous plant because of how it feeds off a host plant (tree). I can't remember whether it was argued that it could have been a passive or active trap, though I guess it doesn't really matter, because in the end it's really not carnivorous at all. Still! Toxic to consume. Vomiting and so on. Possible death etc.

Hmm, favourite method. I love poisonings, actually, because they're interesting to orchestrate in stories and can make for dramatic symptom reveals and realisations (and I've written them before too, but reading is just as fun). And, to be honest, I'm pretty shitty at writing other sorts of death scenes BUT oh you know what goes hard?? A good old fashioned stabbing where Character A leans into it and Character B to whisper one last thing -- usually something that holds a lot of weight. THAT is brilliant. I have one of those planned to write. Really excited for it.

People I hang out with are massive nerds. Okay, more seriously... I don't know. I hang out with a variety of people, because I also have a wide array of interests and so I tend to meld into different groups at a time. That's why I say nerds. I like to be around people who care a lot about Very Specific Things. Oh, well, they're also often neurodivergent, so there's that. I find it difficult to get along with people who are so chill about everything and give off the vibe that they have no personality and or passion.

Absolutely you can message me!!

[southernbrainspiders]

Seven Years Later

Hey, y'all. So here's a final post for anyone who's still following this blog -- I expect that, over the past seven years, nearly everyone who used to follow it has left, but there might be a few still around, so I just wanted to put this here.

If you're trying to remember who this is, I used to blog about my experiences working the graveyard shift at a gas station in Mississippi. I was an angry 20-something misanthrope who had left my grad-school program due to various conflicts and was working at a gas station while I tried to figure out what to do next. I had a lot of complaints about the customers (because, you know, it was retail, and customers really are pretty terrible even when you're not bitter and misanthropic already). The blog kind of trailed off when I got a secondary-school teaching certification and landed a job teaching 11th/12th-grade English at a school in the next county over -- because, of course, it just wouldn't be right to talk about my students in a public forum.

Anyway, I’m kind of back, just not on this blog, so I thought I’d give anyone still around an update on the last seven years of my life and where you can find me now. Oh, and this probably goes without saying, but I will deny all knowledge of this blog. I look back on my younger self and cringe, as I think we all do, and would prefer to leave that here -- I've matured, I like to think, and all that angry misanthropy is much more contained now, rather than just flailing around undirected.

So I wasn't at the high school long before I left that too. The turnaround was actually extremely quick -- by October, I was filling out applications to return to grad school. There were a few reasons for this, which I'll enumerate, but it all really boils down to the fact that I wasn't a cultural fit. (This was originally basically an essay in itself, but I'm trimming it down to a bulleted list.)

This was a school that did not believe in education except as it pertained to test scores. My job was 50% babysitter, 40% prison guard, and 10% ACT Prep. There was a weird current of anti-intellectualism among the faculty, and that carried over to the students.

The prison guard thing isn't as much of an exaggeration as I would like -- my morning duty was helping keep the students kettled in the auditorium until the first bell rang, because the administration didn't trust them to be out in the halls. I had to accompany my class to the cafeteria to make sure they sat in their assigned seats and didn't make too much noise.

On a related note, several members of the faculty frequently bemoaned the fact that corporal punishment had been recently banned from the school system. (Our student rosters still had a column on them indicating which parents had given permission for the school to hit their kids.) They pretty casually talked about the fact that the parents still did that part at home, though, describing things that, where I grew up, would have been called child abuse.

One of my duties was to teach students to write for basically the first time ever -- a writing section had been added to one of the tests, so it had to be incorporated into the curriculum now. Because, of course, since it hadn't been on the tests before, the school had been just not teaching writing at all. Students were very against the concept of writing assignments.

This was a very conservative and very religious area. I'm neither of those things. A standard "getting to know you" question was "what church do you go to?" Faculty meetings started with a prayer session. I didn't try to hide my lack of religion, and even tried to use it as a teaching moment when students asked about it, breaking down the word "agnosticism" to its roots and affixes. A number of students decided I needed to be Saved and started trying to witness to me or whatever you call it.

Between the backlash to the writing assignments (seriously, the students hated those to a degree that shocked me) and my general status as a cultural outsider, a number of the students developed a severe dislike of me. And it was a small town, so they quickly found out where I lived. Within the first month, my home was egged thrice and my tires slashed once. This was when I started filling out grad-school applications.

It was an intensely stressful experience, is what I'm saying. I should have picked up on the red flag when I noticed I was one of... I think half a dozen? new teachers that year. (There were at least four, but I can't quite remember the number.) It was a small school; the turnover rate was just insane. Most of the others left before the year even ended -- in fact, one of my students told me that I was the first high school English teacher they'd had that lasted the whole year. The new math teacher just packed up her classroom and left one day, no notice or anything. The only new hire that stayed for the next year was actually an alumnus of the high school in question and thus was already part of the community & didn't have much adapting to do.

I stayed for the whole year because I needed the money; if I'd had a spouse's income to fall back on like most of the other new teachers did, I probably would have left mid-year too. It was hellish and I was basically in a constant state of mental breakdown. I'm not ashamed to admit I cried in school multiple times -- never in front of the students, thankfully, but once in front of the principal. I decided that even if I didn't get into another graduate program, I had to leave this place because it was turning me into a person I didn't like -- I was starting to yell at students for acting up, which is just intolerable.

Luckily, I did get accepted into a couple programs. One of them offered funding and a TA position, so I took it without a second thought even though it meant starting over as an MA student. (So now I have two Master's degrees, one in English Literature and one in English Language, which is extremely redundant.) I moved across the country to Indiana.

Turns out I'm actually a pretty good teacher at the college level. When I can focus on education rather than babysitting, I can genuinely thrive. Most of my students still weren't that interested in learning English -- I was teaching a freshman-year writing class -- because it's a STEM-focused university and the humanities are barely tolerated, but just the fact that they actually want to be at the school and have some motivation to learn makes all the difference. I got multiple awards from the department based on student evaluations.

My TA position expired at the end of last year, because I was supposed to finish my PhD and graduate, but my dissertation is still in progress. (My mental health is still pretty shaky, but that's just the baseline of who I am as a person, not the result of the environment I'm in this time... it leads to me not being as productive as I probably should be.) I was able to get a position working for the university library instead, though, so that's where I am now.

As a side project, I do a podcast, The Maniculum, where a friend and I read, discuss, and joke about medieval literature, then try to adapt it to TTRPG games. We have a small audience of a few hundred, but I think it's going quite well. I've been managing our Twitter presence, and as Twitter started looking like it might go down, I saw a lot of jokes about people fleeing back to Tumblr. This struck a chord of nostalgia within me, and yesterday I went & made us a Tumblr account. I haven't posted anything there yet -- I'm planning to do an introduction post later today -- but if anyone reading this wants to go follow it and see what happens, it's @maniculum.

And, for anyone who does go there to check it out, remember: if you knew me as Southern Brain Spiders, no you didn't.

[casspurrjoybell-20]

FOOLS Fall - Chapter 2 - Part 1

BOOK TWO: The 'Fools Fall in Love' Trilogy

*Warning - Adult Content*

Noah Wright

School sucked without Sam and my friends from High school and the constant essays and bullshit homework sucked even more.

I really didn't know how I got into UIC but it does make sense that I was in the beginner class for math and English.

I did, however like my Art class.

I was in an Art class every year in high school and even middle school, so I thought I'd continue in college.

I'd say I was moderately good at Art but when I stepped foot into my Art classroom and checked out all the other Art pieces, I realized I was a shit Artist.

So, yeah, college fucking sucked but, Sam would be there next year and though I was not really social, there were plenty of students in my classes that came up and talked to me.

Like Dinah.

She was in my Art Drawing I class.

I always got there before her and had my easel up by the time she entered class.

Dinah moved a stool closer to where I was stationed and set up her own easel to a proper height for her.

"Hey," she greeted me as she sat down.

I nodded as my greeting.

Again, more of an introvert.

Dinah talked almost the whole time during class, besides when our professor spoke but I didn't really mind because she never expected me to talk back.

Until I glanced at her sketchbook.

My eyes widened.

"Holy shit, Dinah. Why are you in this class? You should be in an advanced class," I told her in awe.

We were only drawing a bowl of fruits that laid on the table in the middle of the class room but damn, her drawing looked more real than the bowl of fruit itself.

She laughed.

"You have to start in Drawing I, unfortunately," she shrugged then looked at mine.

"Hey, what are you talking about? Yours is good,too."

I rolled my eyes.

"Now you're just being nice."

She chuckled again.

"No, I'm serious."

I didn't believe her.

I mean, I thought my drawing was good but mine didn't compare to hers.

We soon had to clean up and when Dinah had her station cleared, as did I, she spoke with excitement.

"Hey, my boyfriend's having a party on Halloween, you should totally come and bring your boyfriend. His name was Sam, right? You two are so adorable," Dinah gushed and didn't give me a chance to respond to her invitation.

"Sorry again for flirting with you, I didn't know you had a boyfriend you were exclusive with," Dinah said shyly with an embarrassed expression and yet, she herself, had a boyfriend.

"No need to apologize," I shrugged, swinging my backpack over my shoulder.

"Like you said, you didn't know."

"There's a lot Dinah doesn't know," a low voice teased from behind me.

I turned around.

A guy stood near me with a soft smile.

He had perfectly styled, gelled blonde hair.

Light hazel eyes and a small nose.

He was about the same height as me, if not an inch shorter and he wasn't in that Art class, so he must've just walked in.

"I know more than you do," Dinah claimed, matter-of-factly.

"That might be true," the guy chuckled then held out his hand for me.

"Hello. I'm Jude," he introduced himself, as his eyes scanned my body.

He was completely obvious about it.

I gave him a short nod.

"Noah," and I shook his hand.

"Noah. Hmm, I like that name," Jude smiled flirtatiously.

"Thanks. So does my boyfriend," I said with a dry, monotone voice, hoping to shut down this guy's coy attitude.

It didn't.

He chuckled, laying a hand on my shoulder.

"Chill. You're pretty but I have a girlfriend."

"Do you always call the people, you've just meet, pretty?" I asked, an eyebrow raised at him.

Who the fuck did this guy think he was?

I mentioned my boyfriend and he still called me pretty?

Jude shrugged but still had a teasing grin.

"I didn't call my girlfriend pretty, when I first met her."

"Piss off," Dinah said but it seemed it was harmless banter.

Jude laughed before pulling her to him and kissing her.

'Oh.'

His hand moving down to her ass and tongue shoved him her mouth.

'Jeez.'

My eyebrows raised.

"So you're the said girlfriend," I put together as they pulled away from each other.

Jude was just messing with me.

It was weird after I figured out I was also attracted to guys, I never knew when they were flirting with me or just messing with me.

Jude had his arm around Dinah as she said...

"Since freshman year of high school," she grinned and I wondered if her boyfriend knew how much she flirted with me.

Though they seemed like the type of couple that weren't as exclusive as they might say.

"But anyway, you should come to Jude's Halloween party and bring Sam."

Then Dinah turned to Jude and explained that...

"Sam's Noah's boyfriend."

Jude looked at me.

"Yeah, definitely bring your boyfriend and whoever," he told me with a toothy grin.

Halloween was three weeks away and landed on a Saturday night, which would be perfect for Sam to come out.

"Alright. Thanks."

"Also, a couple people are coming over to my dorm tonight to drink, you should come," Dinah invited me.

Her tone was just as friendly as her smile.

I'd rather lay in bed but maybe it would be good to make some friends while I was at school.

I shrugged.

"Yeah, okay. What building are you in."

"Awesome, I'm in..." Dinah started until Jude cute her off.

"Just give me your number," he stepped closer to me.

"I'll text you time and place and everything."

I pulled out my cell-phone and handed it to him.

Jude gave me back my phone a moment later with his contact punched in.

He texted himself 'Noah' so he'd have my number.

"I'll text you," Jude told me.

********

My next class got canceled, so I was able to go home early.

I was laying in bed when I thought about calling Sam but remembered he still had school.

I checked the time on my phone, he was probably beginning lunch soon.

Sam preoccupied my mind constantly, especially with not being able to see him.

It was a different feeling, loving someone as strongly as I did Sam.

I never thought it was possible beyond the way I loved my ex-girlfriend but I realized the way I loved her couldn't compare to the way I loved Sam and Sam loved me all the same.

It was surreal.

I sighed.

I was laying in my bed, scrolling through various social medias, when I checked the time.

I had about three hours until Sam got out of school.

Then I was sure he would need at least two hours to do homework 'even if it wasn't due the following day'.

So roughly five hours until I could talk to him.

My apartment felt lonely without Sam which made me feel lonely.

I saw him the day before and I already missed him.

I missed talking to him and laying with him and touching him and kissing him.

'Ugh, what I wouldn't give to have him next to me right now.'

A thought struck me because then I felt horny thinking about all the things I'd do to him.

I stood up and went to the bathroom.

I stripped out of my clothes and when I was ready, I sent Sam a picture of my naked body.

Sam read it instantly and I wondered what expression he made when he saw the picture.

I could only imagine him blushing.

I laid back down in bed and typed out a message to go along with my picture before sending it.

And then, of course, I got off while thinking about Sam.

Fuck, I missed him.

Naughty, naughty 😈

[jhtechgeek2011]

Still struggling

Since my last post, my life has changed but it isn't easier. I stopped working all those 6 and 7-day stretches of 2nd shifts and for a while worked 3rd shift 5 days a week until I caught Covid-19 and my job didn't give me my shift back. I then started working all 3 shifts every week until I finally got fed up and got a note from my therapist stating for treatment to work that I needed to work a consistent shift meaning, not all 3 in the same week and not where I have to sleep at different times as when I would work 1st and 3rd shift.

My shifts were a bit better by this point, consisting of one 1st shift and three 2nd shifts, but when my manager got my letter she assumed consistent meant only 2nd shift for some reason. I explained to her that I just meant not working all over the place to the point I couldn't sleep and eat on a consistent schedule and that the 1 first 3 2nd shifts schedule was ok. My manager told me the general manager sent it to HR and we had to wait and see what they said while continuing to give me only 3 days a week.

I am a full-time employee it is NOT legal to give me part-time hours, and 24 hours a week is part-time hours. The GM also tried to justify it by saying that they can give me 24 hours a week if it's not a certain amount of time in a 3-month period which is CRAP! It is not legal to give someone full-time less than 30 or 32 hours a week at ALL. I applied for unemployment and am considering reporting them to the labor board.

I just got paid today and my check was SAD! If I had to pay my whole rent without my boyfriend paying half I would be screwed! I wouldn't have enough for anything else besides the rent. I already can barely afford the bills I pay when it's not time for the rent check like it is this time. I am so upset and worried! I need to find another job and some other ways of making money because I do NOT have enough at all.

My other issue today was those obnoxious guys at the car wash behind my house were being particularly ridiculous. One guy was doing this high-pitched annoying whistle all day no matter if I would get mad and yell for him to cut it out. The other guy was yelling and doing his horrible loud half-yell laugh thing he has. I was getting so angry and frustrated. I just yelled it all out until those guys finally shut up. I wish I could put my AC unit back in the window and drown them out with it but it's not warm enough out yet.

On another note, my boyfriend has been in and out of the house since he got home from work and it's worrying me. He went downstairs to the bar we live above to watch basketball but he has a problem when he goes in there he is tempted by the slot machines to gamble and he really shouldn't gamble because he has a bit of an issue with that and has done some dumb things when he has gotten on those slot machines down there. I just want him to stay home and out of that place. But he's working on it though. He came right home tonight after the basketball went off. I am glad he did.

On a final note, I have returned to school to obtain my degree in Psychology. Right now I am in the Bachelor's program and then I plan to complete the Master's program in Psychology with an emphasis in Life Coaching, so I can reach my ultimate goal of becoming a therapist and life coach. I was doing great in my first class, a university introduction course called University Success, designed to help students get familiar with the school and how the courses work. But now that I am in English Composition 1, I started to struggle.

There are so many papers in the class and it's a more immersive and intensive English course than I had in my previous schools. I believe that is because the course is only 7 weeks long so it is more accelerated than I was used to. Work also does not help the situation as it gets in the way, with my schedule being so stupid and with how much it stresses me out. I am getting tutoring and accommodations soon so that should help. It has been hard to focus and sometimes it is also very hard to get started on assignments.

I hate having ADHD and dyscalculia they make things harder than they should be. I didn't realize how much the dyscalculia causes me issues spatially, like clicking the wrong file when submitting homework, or even going to the wrong assignment submission link to submit an assignment because visually they line up where they can easily be confused one for the other. I turned in a paper and paper review wrong because I thought I was clicking the paper and clicked the review since the lines looked like the paper was on top and the review was at the bottom but it was reversed.

ADHD and other issues are making my life quite a lot harder than it needs to be in a lot of areas of my life lately. I am trying to get help but it is far more difficult to get help than it has to be. I am sick of struggling and really need life to get better soon. I don't know how much more I can take. I really hope I can come back with better posts in the future and that my life gets better so I have more to say than how much I am struggling and how much help I need and how much I hate struggling. Tune in next time to see what's new with Just Me.

[strawberrysohn]

attention - lee hyunjae.

you two hate each other...right?

word count: too lazy to count will add in later 😩

warnings: sexual frustration, mixed signals, slight angst, lots of plot, dom!jae x reader, a little bit of eric x reader (nothing sexual tho), possessive hyunjae (yikes buckle up hoes), sex against a wall, sex in a janitors closet, cute lil nicknames like slut, whore, & bitch, slight dacryphilia (gotta squint), praise, degradation, teasing, fingering & handjob, hickeys...lots of hickeys...

https://strawberrysohn.tumblr.com/post/678709061472157696/like-you-hate-me-lee-hyunjae (part one please read before this part)

you walk into school that monday, head held high. you walk past the group of cheerleaders by their lockers - he had been with all of them already. all in different places and positions. you recalled hearing how he fucked one of them in his car, one of them in the showers, and another sucked him off during study hall.

you chuckle to yourself realizing just how much of a manwhore hyunjae was. it humored you, really.

“i already told you, eric,” you hear his voice and you stop in your tracks. your eyes search rapidly for him until they finally spot him, standing at his locker. his friend, eric was beside him, as always. “i didn’t fuck anyone at the party.”

your eyes widen as you inch a tiny bit closer to eavesdrop more.

“that’s so unlike you!” the blonde boy exclaims. you watch as hyunjae closes his locker rather loudly. “last party you had, you told me you were with three girls in one night.”

you cringe at that. god, he was a whore.

“yeah, well, this time i wasn’t with anyone,” hyunjae speaks. you notice that he doesn’t meet his friend’s eyes. “it’s not that big of a deal.”

you walk away to your own locker, replaying his words in your head. why was he lying? was he ashamed to have been with you? is that why he had left so suddenly after? and why did you care so much?

--

the only class you had with hyunjae was honors english. and you sat diagonal from him, giving you the perfect view of him at all times. not like you wanted to look at him, or anything.

hyunjae arrives to class later than usual, but still before the bell. if it were under any other circumstances, you wouldn’t bat an eye. but, by looking at his slightly messy appearance (tousled hair, untucked shirt, etc) you knew why he had shown up so late.

the male walks briskly to his seat, not bothering to look in your direction at all. you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel a little bit of jealousy towards whoever the lucky lady he had just fucked was.

you try to focus on your class, but you can't help but get distracted mid-lesson by the boy diagonal from you.

he really did look lovely while concentrating. was he always this attractive? you didn't think so. maybe it was just the post-sex euphoria still lingering around inside you. you didn't pay too much mind to your thoughts as you exit the classroom with everyone else when the bell rings.

hyunjae rushes past you, his shoulder brushing against yours ever so slightly.

and somehow, that one slight touch made you even more frustrated.

you creep through the crowd to your next class, your feet unintentionally dragging behind you. he disappears into the crowd of students heading to their next classes and you let out a sigh.

getting his attention again could prove to be difficult.

the next time you saw him was at the end of the day. you walked past him in the hall. he was with eric, of course. it was kind of crowded around where they were, but you managed to eavesdrop a little.

“what are your thoughts on that one girl?” eric asks the other, leaning against his locker. “what’s her name...y/n?”

you see hyunjae stiffen, but he keeps his composure. “she’s alright,” he speaks monotone. “why are you asking about her?” he doesn’t take his eyes off his locker.

eric shrugs. “don’t know,” he replies. “might make a move on her. you’ve never been with her, right?”

hyunjae hums and closes his locker, rather loudly. “no, i haven’t,” he makes direct eye contact with his friend. “she’s all yours, bro. have fun.”

you gulp as you walk away from their conversation. now, you had other things to worry about besides getting hyunjae’s attention.

now you had to deal with eric’s attention.

--

tuesday goes by, wednesday goes by, even thursday, too. but it’s friday now, and you know what you have to do.

you had given up on dressing nice (you had wore a skirt every day that week and still, nothing) so you entered the hall in your grey pullover hoodie, black leggings, and high tops, hoping your amount of effort showed how done you were with hyunjae’s stupid ass.

you don’t look his way as you pass his locker. you don’t try to eavesdrop on what he and eric are talking about. you do, however, feel a pair of eyes on you as you walk away.

you sit through all yours classes until it’s time for english, with hyunjae. he arrives on time, ignoring your eyes once again. little bitch.

but all throughout class, you find your eyes glued to the side of his face. you admire his perfect nose, his perfect lips, everything. he was so good looking and you hated his stupid perfect face.

you watch as he takes notes, his pencil scribbling on the paper. but oh, his hands. 

you had grown a liking to those hands. those long, slender fingers. the way they held you, the way they stretched you just right.

no, stop! you internally curse at yourself. you don’t like him, you don’t want him, and you don’t need his attention!

you were lying to yourself. you did like him, you did want him, and you did need his attention. who were you kidding?

--

as the school day comes to an end, you walk briskly past he and his friend’s lockers. you didn’t want to hear what they were buzzing about anymore.

“hey, y/n?” you hear your name and turn around. your heart nearly stops completely when you meet eyes with eric, jogging towards you. he must’ve seen you from the crowd. “can i talk to you?”

you blink rapidly, thinking of an answer. “um, sure?” that was honestly the best you could come up with.

eric clears his throat and catches his breath. “i was wondering you wanna go with me to the basketball game tonight?” 

you’re stunned, truly. when eric said he was gonna make a move on you, you didn’t think he was gonna ask you out. 

you wouldn’t lie: eric was attractive. very attractive. and from what you had heard, he was slightly less of a douche than hyunjae was. so, what could be wrong here?

plus, wherever eric was, hyunjae was sure to be. maybe this was the perfect way to finally get his attention.

coming back out of your thoughts, you nod to eric. “sure, i’d love to go with you.” you respond.

eric smiles largely. “great! meet me here at 6?” he slings his bag over his shoulder. when you nod in agreement, he smiles once again, sending a wink your way. “see you then.”

suddenly, your plan was back in full swing. and this time, you knew you were gonna succeed. 

--

“i’m honestly shocked you agreed to go with me,” eric says. he’s rambled a lot since you’ve been with him, but you didn’t mind. you found it cute. “i didn’t think you would like someone like me.”

“someone like you?” you tilt your head, pretending you had no idea what he was talking about. “what do you mean, eric?”

he looks at you before sighing. “i know i have a bit of a reputation,” he admits. “my friend does too. you know hyunjae, right?”

you nod. oh yes, you definitely knew hyunjae. 

“well, then you know that he’s a bit...” eric pauses, looking for the word to use. you figured he was trying not to insult his best friend, yet still be honest with you. “he’s a bit worse than me. a little bit more of a...” he trails off again, but you decide to help him out.

“a man-whore?” you suggest, an innocent smile on your face.

eric laughs, yet nods. “yeah, you can for sure say that,” he pulls open the door to the gym, where the basketball game was being held. “he really is a man-whore isn’t he?” the boy hums to himself and pulls the door shut behind the two of you.

muisc plays over the speakers as the players warm-up on the court. you look at the packed, busy bleachers, wondering where you would be sitting.

but then you knew exactly where you’d be sitting.

your eyes meet hyunjae’s from halfway up the stairs. he didn’t look upset or anything like that. in fact, his face didn’t show anything. 

you wished he didn’t have such a good poker face.

“hey man,” eric greets his friend, who’s expression changes once eric opens his mouth. “you know y/n, right?”

of course he knew you. you were the girl he had almost thrown away all his morals for. you were the one he had been wanting to talk to all week but always chickened out. you were the girl who had managed to drive him absolutely mad in one amazing, unforgettable night. 

and you were here with his best friend.

“yeah,” hyunjae responds, shifting his eyes to watch the players on the court. he doesn’t even seem to care that you’ve sat next to him.

being sat in-between eric and hyunjae...was something. you tried to sit a little closer to eric, since you were here with him, but hyunjae...

as the game came to a start, your eyes shifted from the court, to the side profile beside you. you realized that this was technically a date and you were paying no mind to the guy you were actually on a date with.

you sit up straight and snuggle into eric a little, mumbling to him, “i’m cold,” you had changed out of your hoodie when you went home, putting on a short sleeve top instead. and just as you hoped, eric was a gentleman.

he lifts his own hoodie over his head and hands it to you. “here you go, babe,” he smiles at you ad turns his attention back to the game. 

you blush at the nickname and pull the hoodie over your head and adjust it so you’re comfortable. 

“better?” eric asks you as he puts an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. 

“yes, thank you,” you smile to yourself and snuggle into the male. you notice hyunjae stiffen from the corner of your eye. his jaw was clenched and you could tell he was riled up. and he looked so hot riled up.

you could tell that you were winning this battle. you could tell that no matter how calm and composed hyunjae was while engaging in casual conversation with eric, he was thinking about getting you alone. and you could tell that when he would get you alone, that he was gonna ruin you.

and you couldn’t wait.

in fact, you were sure you’d make that happen sooner than later.

you pull away from eric’s grip. “i have to use the bathroom,” you lie, noticing the male on the other side of you perks up a bit. bullseye.

but you weren’t done. oh no, not even close.

“alright,” eric smiles at you. you felt a little bad about what you were going to do, but it had to be done. “see you in a bit.”

instead of nodding and leaving, you lean in quickly and plant your lips on eric’s. as you hoped, he returns the kiss, one of his hands coming to rest on your hip before you pull away, feeling a bit dizzy.

“see ya!” you stand up straight and wave to both eric and hyunjae and turn away from them, leaving their sight with a smirk on your face.

--

“what the fuck are you doing?” hyunjae all but growls at you as soon as he enters the hallway a little bit after you did. “are you insane? you have got to be out of your fucking mind-”

“shut your ass up, you dick,” you interrupt, watching as his eyes widen ever so slightly. you yank your wrist out of his grasp, ignoring the small pain that came from it. “this whole week i’ve been trying to get your attention, and you pretended like i didn’t even exist. really? that’s low, even for you.”

he doesn’t say anything, he just looks at you with dark eyes. you thought you saw fifty storms brewing in those eyes, but you kept your composure.

“you’re such a fucking man-whore!” you practically yell. luckily everyone was still in the gym for the game so they couldn’t hear or see your outburst. “you made me feel so good, so appreciated for one night. now i know you were just coming onto me for the sex.”

“y/n, listen to me-”

“no, hyunjae,” you interrupt him again, this time getting right in his face. you could tell he was caught off guard by the way he moves his head back slightly and by the little gasp he let out. “you listen to me.”

he stares into your eyes, his own burning into yours with so many questions.

“i don’t mean shit to you,” you spit at him through gritted teeth. “and you don’t mean shit to me.” you poke his chest hard with every word. “i mean it! i hate you!”

“y/n, please-”

once again you don’t let him speak. “you son of a bitch, you actually made me believe that you were gonna treat me differently than all the other girls,” you shake your head, ignoring the tears that threatened to fall from your eyes. “i was wrong! i was stupid to ever think that you had a fucking heart.”

this time, he doesn’t even try to speak. he just stares at you, his shocked expression turning into one of regret instead.

you step back slightly, lifting eric’s hoodie sleeve to dab underneath your eyes. “i can’t believe i actually fell for your act,” you sigh, shaking your head at yourself. “if only i just resisted. then i wouldn’t have had to have felt so good due to someone who treats me like shit. maybe then i wouldn’t have craved that attention from you anymore. maybe then i wouldn’t have had to kiss your best friend in front of you to make you pay attention to me. maybe then-”

his lips meet yours and suddenly, every lined up thought you had was scattered into an unruly mess. he was kissing you. he was kissing you. you knew what the other girls said. “hyunjae doesn’t kiss anyone he hooks up with. he must be afraid of intimacy.” yet, here he was: intimate and all.

his hands find your waist and he pulls you in closer to him, as you finally start to move your lips in time with his. hyunjae was kissing you. and damn was he good at it.

as his tongue finds its way into your mouth, his hands slide up and down your sides. you feel yourself slowly get weak in the knees at all his touches.

when he finally pulls away to look at you, you notice the usual stoic expression leave his eyes and become replaced by a more raw expression. huh. maybe he did have a heart after all.

“y/n, i want you,” he breathes out, voice hoarse. “i...i need you, okay?” there was so much need in his tone but also something else that you couldn’t quite lay a finger on.

your mind still foggy and your knees shaking, you nod. “ok-okay.” you reply. you pull your trembling hands into the sleeves of your hoodie as hyunjae grabs one sleeved hand and drags you gently into the janitor’s closet. how romantic.

the closet was roomier than you imagined, thankfully. you were glad it was less painful and cramped when you were pushed against a wall by hyunjae almost immediately after he made sure the door was locked all the way.

his lips find yours again and you return to heaven. your eyelids flutter from the feeling and you instinctively throw your arms around hyunjae’s neck, pulling him closer to you.

there was something different in his kiss this time around. whereas the first one had been sweet, magical even, this one was pure need, more intense.

while his lips move against yours mind-boggingly well, his hands find the hem of your hoodie.

you let out a small whine into his mouth, gasping for air when he removes his lips from yours and instead, leaves a trail of kisses down your neck. 

“hyunjae...” you whisper his name as he starts to suck on the skin of your neck. you grip the back of his neck as your eyes close from the feeling. 

the male groans against your skin, pressing his crotch against you. you could feel how hard he was and it made your pussy throb.

he leaves marks all over your neck, covering both sides. he was sucking and biting on the skin like a rabid animal, muttering something under his breath that you unfortunately couldn’t comprehend.

when he pulls away, he’s breathing heavy, looking into your eyes deeply. you feel your face heat up from his gaze.

“y/n,” he speaks. his voice was barely above a whisper, but you understood him perfectly when he said his next words: “i want to taste you.”

a familiar feeling bubbled in your core as you nod, closing your eyes to calm your breathing. “please,” was all you could say.

you watch as hyunjae drops to his knees, not taking his hungry eyes off of yours. the sight alone was orgasmic.

he lifts up your skirt, noticing the wetness seeping through the thin fabric of your panties. his eyes lift to meet yours for a moment before a finger slips in and slides the damp cloth to the side.

“hyunjae, please,” you whine, watching him with needy eyes. your chest was rising and falling rather quickly. despite being in this type of situation with him before, you were somehow nervous, unlike the last time.

you could feel that there was something different; something that wasn’t there last time. there was something in his eyes, something in his aura. it was making you wonder...how much more was he holding back?

your wonders and curiosities exit your brain quickly as the male slips one long finger into your aching core and you let out a gasp that shifts into a moan as he starts to pump the finger in and out.

“j...jae...” you moan out and he looks at you at the return of the name you had used last time. the name that he had grown to love, the name he had repeated in his head in your voice for the past week almost.

eager to please you, hyunjae adds a second finger and you lay your head back against the wall. somehow with hyunjae, the pleasure was always overwhelming, no matter what he was doing.

“add another...” you mumble but he hears it and he quickly complies to your request. 

with three fingers inside you, hyunjae stretches you out with no mercy, making you squirm and whine, your eyelids fluttering from the overflowing pleasure.

his free hand grips your hip, keeping you steady. 

“jae, fuck,” you moan out as he starts to curl his fingers inside you.

“feels good?” he asks you, though you can tell he already knows the answer.

“yes, so good,” you sputter out, feeling your high coming. “i-i’m close, jae.”

he hums and thrusts his fingers into you even harder, sending you spiraling. “cum for me, darling.” his eyes once again meet yours and his lust-filled gaze was enough to send you over the edge.

you release with a silent moan, your eyes screwing shut. you feel your legs start to shake as you calm down, your chest rising and falling at a fast pace.

when you look down again to meet his eyes, you watch as he sucks the juices from his fingers, keeping eye contact with you while doing so. “delicious, darling, just like i expected.”

“y-you’re so hot,” you trail off, gulping. you weren’t ashamed to admit what you were thinking anymore. “you know that?”

“mm, of course i do,” hyunjae responds. “why else would i be so confident, hm? why else would i be able to get any girl i want?”

you roll your eyes, shaking your head. “we get it, you’re a man-whore.”

“if anyone here is a whore, darling,” he stands straight again, placing a hand on either side of your head, trapping you between he and the wall. “it’s you.”

“my body count is anywhere near as lengthy as yours,” you admit. “so don’t act like you know what’s up.”

“mm, alright, fine,” hyunjae recoils temporarily before speaking again. “maybe you’re not a whore in that sense, but you are the biggest fucking attention whore.”

your eyes widen and you shake your head. you were doubtful you’d be able to keep up the act for very long. “i’m not.”

“you are, darling,” he starts again, chuckling under his breath. “you live for the attention.  that’s what you wanted this whole week, no? you were so desperate for my attention and when you got none, you went to crazy, dumb, stupid measures to get it.”

“you’re just jealous i kissed eric.” you reply, staring up at him, your confidence not faltering.

you watch as hyunjae swallows, his eyes leaving yours for a moment, then returning. “i’m not jealous,” he retorts. “why would i be jealous? you’re not mine.”

“you kissed me, hyunjae,” you recall and his face falls, every ounce of confidence that was there before had blown away. “you don’t kiss anyone you hook up with. i listen to what everyone says, you know.”

hyunjae freeezes in place for a moment, seemingly contemplating what he wants to say. you could tell that your words had made him think more than he wanted to and that you had realized things you weren’t supposed to have realized. 

“you can tell me what you’re thinking, you know,” you speak again after getting no response from him. “i want to listen, okay?”

he shakes his head, turning towards you again. “you don’t get it, do you?” he speaks, his voice rather shaky. “y/n, i have never felt this confused in my life, okay? one minute, i think you’re annoying, and five minutes later, you’re hot as shit.”

“well that’s just because you had sex with me.”

“is it?” hyunjae raises a brow. “or was it that maybe i realized something. something that i had known deep down for longer than i can remember, but i refused to say anything because i knew that no matter how nice to you i could ever be, you would still hate my fucking guts.”

“jae...” you trail off, looking at him with worried eyes. “what are you saying...?”

“damn it, y/n!” his volume and power startles you. your heart stops beating momentarily. when he realizes he snapped, his eyes meet yours and he sighs. "i just..." he trails off, his gaze dropping to just below your eyes. "forget it. it's not important."

"jae," you start, lifting a hand up cautiously to the side of his face. his skin was smooth, soft, and warm under your touch. he lets out a calm breath at your touch and clears his throat. "don't be afraid to tell me your feelings."

"feelings?" he shakes his head, chuckling. "there are no feelings to discuss. what kind of feelings towards you could i possibly have, y/n?"

"okay, fine," you hum. "maybe it'll help if i'm honest with you first. so, here goes. hyunjae, i-"

"i think i'm in love with you."

silence enters the janitor's closet after hyunjae's interruption. you stare, mouth agape at the male across from you. the same guy who had made your life a living hell for years...was now possessing feelings for you?

“i...think i'm in love with you,” he whispers this time. you look into his eyes and see a glassy layer over them. “i am. i don’t know how, i don’t know why. maybe it’s the way you’re always so passionate about everything you do, or...or because you’re so determined. maybe it’s the way you carry yourself, with such confidence. you know you’re smart, you know your worth. you know what you want and you take it. and god, there’s just so much more i could say about you and it still wouldn’t get the job done. and i don’t know when this happened, but i-”

now it’s your turn to shut him up with a kiss. you wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him closer as he slowly reciprocates the kiss.

you don’t know why you shut him up, to be honest. it’s not that you didn’t like what you were hearing. maybe it was just that it was all too much to take in at one time. 

your lips move against his with fury, his hands finding your hips almost immediately. his fingers dig into your skin and you can’t even complain about the pain. it’s not like it bothered you anyway.

alarmingly enough, he lets out what seems like a whine into your mouth. was he that needy for you? his sounds combined with the way he was rubbing himself against you told you everything.

when you pull away from the kiss, he pants, eyes not leaving yours for even a split second. "touch me," he practically begs. "y/n, touch me, please."

if you could've recorded the tone of his voice in that moment so you could listen to it for the rest of your life, you would have. his words were dripping in need, dripping in desire. he needed you so bad.

quickly, your hands finds his pants, unbuttoning and unzipping impatiently. you couldn't even say anything. you just wanted to please him.

when you pull his hardened length from its constraints, your eyes widen once again, not only from the size (even though you saw it before, you couldn't not be impressed every time), but from the amount of precum that had already come out. boy was he desperate.

hyunjae breathes heavily as you start to stroke his length at a slow pace, using his precum as lube. you watch as your hand glides up and down his shaft smoothly.

"no, no, look at me, y/n," he speaks, voice shaky. "please look at me."

you nod and lift your gaze to meet his. "better?" you ask, watching as he tugs his bottom lip under his top one.

"yes, so much," he lets out a groan as your hand touches the head of his cock for a moment. "faster, please." he whispers but you still manage to hear it.

you move your hand faster on his cock and he lets out the most lovely sounds. "yes, yes, like that," his words turn into moans as he looks at you with dark eyes.

the sound of his moans were like heaven to you. there was something so angelic yet sinful about his sounds and it had you reeling.

as you stroke his length at a fast pace, his chest rises and falls with every harsh breath he takes. “fuck, y/n,” he groans, his eyelids fluttering. the way your name fell from his lips so sinfully made you even more eager to please him.

“a-am i doing a good job?” you ask him, your voice unintentionally shaking. you were sure it was from the need clouding your head. 

“yes, darling,” hyunjae groans lowly, nodding his head the best he could. “so good, so fucking good.” he growls the last bit, bucking his hips into your hand a little bit. 

it was a bit odd, you must admit, seeing hyunjae this vulnerable. you figured his need had taken over at this point and you knew it was unlikely you’d get this side of him again, but you had your hopes. even if you didn’t, you were going to savor this while it lasted.

your hand strokes his length quickly, the sound of the slight wetness making you bite your lip as you feel the wetness return to your core.

one of his hands comes to find your wrist, wrapping around it. the other hand runs through his hair as he lets out the same sinful noises you had grown to enjoy. “shit,” he moans out, letting his head fall back. “make me cum, darling, come on.” he growls moving your hand with his own as his breaths grow more and more erratic.

your eyes fall down to admire his length. you thought you felt a bit of drool come from your lips, but you have been mistaken. even after seeing him before, you were still so impressed (but also not surprised) with hyunjae’s body. he was just so perfect...

his grip on your wrist tightens, dragging you out from your thoughts just in time to see white strings of cum land smoothly on his and your hand. and also on the hoodie that clothed your torso.

“jae, you got cum on eric’s hoodie!” you gasp, looking down in horror, trying to wipe off the mess. you didn’t see the male in front of you smirk as he catches his breath. mission accomplished.

“he won’t notice or care,” hyunjae responds. “he gets all kind of stuff on that thing. food, drinks, who knows what. don’t get your panties in a bunch, darling.”

you frown but nod. your hands fall to the hem of the hoodie, ready to lift it over your head and take it off. “well, if this is going to continue, then i should just-”

“no.”

you blink softly, stopping your movements. “wha..?”

hyunjae shakes his head. “leave it on.”

“but...but it’s eric’s...”

“that’s why,” hyunjae responds. “it’s his. don’t you think he’d love when you return it to him after it smells like me?”

you shake your head. “he wouldn’t like that at all, i don’t think.”

“very well then,” he nods in approval. “now it’s definitely staying on.”

you gulp nervously. you wouldn’t lie, seeing him like this was very arousing. something about hyunjae being so possessive...it’s like he was trying to remind you that you were his.

but...were you his?

he grabs your hips before whispering to you. “jump.” so you do, wrapping your legs around his waist, pulling him a little closer.

your noses almost touch and you let out a shaky breath. even after everything, you still got goosebumps being this close to him. “jae...” you whisper softly. the tone of your voice seemingly stirs something in him. you grip onto his arms as his length rubs against your wet core. “please.”

he doesn’t hesitate to insert himself into you, making you gasp. his size still managed to stretch you out just right. “jae, jae, oh my god.” you chant his name as he stills, letting you get comfortable.

as you regain your breath, he looks at you, eyes hooded, lips slightly parted. he was just so entranced in your beauty. he looked forward to seeing you fall apart on his cock again. 

“move, jae, please,” you whine, his heavy eye contact doing things to you.

“beg,” he demands, making your eyes go wide and your vision blurry with need. “beg for my cock like the little slut you know you are.”

“b-but...jae-”

he looks at you sternly and you feel that you might have collapsed if he wasn’t holding you up. he just had so much power over you...it made you want to curl up into a ball and scream into a pillow.

taking a deep breath, you weigh over your options. you could choose to not beg and get no dick, or you could throw away all your morals and beg for him like some desperate bitch and humiliate yourself.

you decided on the latter.

“please fuck me, jae,” you begin, internally cringing at your own tone of voice. “please, please, i need you inside me. i need you filling me up, stretching me out just right as you rearrange my guts. please, please, please-”

your words are cut off by a moan as he starts slowly move into you. no matter the speed, he still felt so good inside you, so right. it was like he was made for your pussy.

“fuck, y/n,” the male groans, looking down and watching as his cock disappeared into you with every deep, passionate thrust. “you feel so good wrapped around me.” and it was true. the way your walls hugged his length felt amazing to him. perfect, even. it was like you were made for his cock.

your moans spill out uncontrollably as he picks up his pace a little bit more, the sound of his hips hitting yours repeatedly filling the room along with your sinful sounds.

the noises you let out only added more fuel to hyunjae’s fire. “oh, you really are a slut, aren’t you?” he smirks, watching your expressions. he was in awe of how you could look so innocent, yet so sinful at the same time. it really got him going.

“n-no,” your voice cracks as you deny. “not a slut...” you shake your head the best you can while hyunjae quite literally fucks you up.

“mm, you’re right...maybe not a slut in general,” he hums in thought, his relentless pace not slowing one bit. “maybe just a slut for me, hm, darling?”

you were going to say something, but you can’t speak when hyunjae starts to pound into you, making your eyes roll back. you didn’t think it was possible to be fucked this hard, yet here you were. 

“hyunjae, oh my god,” you all but scream as he rams into you at an inhumane pace, fucking you with so much speed and power you felt like you were gonna get whiplash (haha). “you fuck me so good. so so fucking good.”

“mm, yeah?” hyunjae asks from in between his rushed breaths and groans. “you like when i fuck you so good your head spins?” he lets out a moan as you clench around his shaft. “oh, fuck, baby, you’re so good for me.”

his voice was laced with so much dominance, so much power. it made your knees tremble. he fucks into you with so much need, so much strength that every moral thought leaves your brain, every faint memory of whatever happened prior to this slips away. all you could focus on was his cock, hitting everything just right and making you lose your mind.

“tell me how good i feel inside you, slut,” hyunjae growls in your ear, his words dripping with a breathy moan. “tell me how good it feels to have me pulsing inside you, splitting you apart.”

you choke on a moan as his pace slows, but gets harder, his thrusts making you bounce slightly. “oh my god, hyunjae, you feel so fucking good, you’re so deep,” you whine as his length tears you up. “a-and so-so...big.” your cheeks flush red with embarrassment while a devilish smirk grows on the male’s face.

“yeah? my big cock making you braindead, hm?” he regains his previous speed, earning a loud gasp followed by a moan from you. “are you my braindead little bitch?” he hisses directly into your ear before taking your lobe between his teeth.

your eyes roll back at his words, his delivery making your toes curl from inside your shoes. “j-jae...” a loud moan of his name leaves your bruised lips as his pace leaves you breathless. “...harder.”

“fuck-” never one to disappoint you, hyunjae starts to pound into you, even harder than before. he groans against your neck, before starting to suck on the already sensitive skin there. his noises muffle against your skin as yours raise in volume from the now doubled pleasure. 

as he fucks you hard as you wear eric’s hoodie, his head races with thoughts. thoughts of jealousy, thoughts of longing. oh how he wanted you to be his.

“mine,” he growls against your neck, almost inaudibly. he half hoped it would go unnoticed by you, yet the other half hoped that you did hear it.

as his head races even more, every last thought blurring together, he somehow manages to fuck into you even harder, rougher, taking note of the way your noises come out more often and louder. his aggression fuels his movements as you become a mess on his cock. he was making you feel this good, he was the only one that could.

helpless cries of pleasure leave your lips as hyunjae sucks several dark, noticeable marks on your skin, pulling back slightly to admire the purple-ish spots on your neck. now people would know you were his. “you’re fucking mine,” he groans into your neck, but you hear him just fine. “my little whore, all mine. just mine.”

“h-hyunjae, c-close-” you stutter out your words, pausing to let out a few choked moans. tears fill your eyes as his pace and power tears you apart.

“mm, yeah?” he taunts, his own breaths getting erratic. he was also getting close. he watches the tears well up in your eyes with a mischievous smirk. “crying for me, hm? crying because i just feel so good, right, babe?” he’d be lying if he didn’t get off on the tears that were now streaming down your face.

“h-hyunjae, fuck!” you lean your head against his shoulder, letting your loud moan muffle as you feel your knot inside release, your juices flowing out of you and spilling onto his cock. 

“oh, shit, babe,” the male leans his head back and groans lowly as he follows suit after you, releasing into you, earning another small whine from you.

sensitive, exhausted, and out of breath, the two of you stay there, panting. he was still inside you, but neither of you seemed to care. you lift your gaze up to look at him, only to find he was already staring. blushing and embarrassed, you try to look away.

“hey, look at me,” he reaches out, cupping your face and lifting it so you’d look at him in the eyes. when you finally meet his eyes, there’s that vulnerability back again. you’re finally reminded of what he said to you before everything else. his gaze falters slightly and you can tell that he can tell what you’ve just been reminded of. “y/n, i-i need you to know that i’m...i’m sorry. for how i’ve treated you. not just this week or this year, but always. i guess i just never knew how to actually act around you.”

“so...your first instinct was to bully me?”

he shakes his head and looks to the floor, ashamed. “i know...i know,” he nods at you, lifting his eyes to meet yours again momentarily. he pulls away from you finally, releasing himself from inside you, emitting a small groan from you. you watch as he fixes himself up and listen as he begins to speak again. “i’m sorry. i was dumb. i’ve just never found someone i actually had feelings for, let alone feelings this strong.” he admits, tugging his bottom lip beneath his top one after.

you take a moment to process his words. he seemed sincere. “jae...this is a lot,” you tell him, sighing. “i mean, i go through the last who knows how many years thinking you hate my guts. and now, you’re...in love with me?” you whisper the last bit, the words unfamiliar to your lips.

“i understand that it’s confusing,” he averts his eyes elsewhere. “i just didn’t know what to do with myself or my feelings.”

you don’t say anything and just keep your gaze to the ground. 

taking your silence as a sign to continue, he takes a deep breath. "y/n, just...just one chance is all i ask for." he spoke more calmly now, no more rushed sentenced with no time to breathe. he was "i want to prove to you that i can be a better man for you."

you smile softly. he sounded so genuine. he was being so genuine. the tenderness, the emotion in his eyes. it was beautiful. he was beautiful. and you could finally see it clearly. he was beautiful. maybe more on the outside than on the inside, but you knew he was going to try.

"i...i really like you, hyunjae," you explain, noticing how you have his full, undivided attention as soon as you start to speak. "a lot. and i love the way you make me feel. because let's be honest here, you make me feel really, really good. like, so good i-"

"don't get me going again, y/n," the male warns, closing his eyes momentarily. he appeared to be thinking.

you sigh. "right, well, i guess i'm just...confused."

hyunjae tilts his head slightly to the left. "confused? why is that?" he hums, lifting a finger to your cheek and caressing the skin softly.

"i...heard you telling eric that you didn't sleep with anyone at the party," you inform him. his eyes widen a bit and realization hits his face. "i thought that maybe you were...ashamed of me? like, i'm not pretty enough or popular enough to be known as a member of your elite list of people you've been with, or some-"

once again, the male cuts you off with a kiss. a sweet one this time. you melt into his touch as his hands find your waist, holding onto you firmly, but also gently. like he didn’t want to hurt you but also wanted you to know that he was never ever gonna let you go.

"y/n, my darling," he begins once he's pulled away from your lips. "i did that to protect your image. word gets around super fast at this school. i tell one person that we fucked, the whole school knows by lunch."

your lips take the shape of an 'o' but no sound comes out. you just nod, looking at your feet. you were smiling like a dork. was he really that thoughtful and considerate? it warmed your heart.

"so, y/n," hyunjae clears his throat and your eyes lift back up to meet his. "do you wanna...see where this goes?"

"what do you mean?"

"i don't know, i was thinking we fuck around some more for a while, maybe try some new stuff," he freezes mid sentence to grasp your hand in his. "and then maybe i'll properly ask you out on a date. how's that sound?" he smirks at you mischievously, since he already knows the answer.

"of course, you ass," you roll your eyes but can't help but smile. "man you're good at talking, huh?" you nudge him in the shoulder a little as you giggle.

"that's not all i'm good at, darling." he winks and you punch his shoulder.

"shut up, dickhead."

"make me."

you lift yourself onto your tiptoes and attach your lips to his with a smile. as his hands find your sides, you wish that you could stay like that forever. but of course, you still have to give eric back his hoodie.

-

ahhh part two is finally out, sorry for the long wait everyone 😩 hope you enjoy <3

[hogwartsandhawkins]

Prove Me Wrong

Chapter 1: Trouble With the Iliad

Prove Me Wrong Masterlist

Here's the official first Chapter of my Billy series! I posted a prologue to this series, and it's currently on my page if you still need to read it. Sorry for the trash writing. I'm currently finishing up my midterms so I didn't get a lot of time to proofread, but hope you like it!

Also, Eddie, Chrissy, and Jason are mentioned briefly. Even though they're not introduced till the fourth season and this series takes place right after the second, it just made sense that they would still be seen since they all went to the same school, so I had to give them honorary mentions lol.

Summary: You get paired with an unlikely someone for an English project.

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: Slight mention of blood, lots of swearing, Billy being a bully, other kids being bullies, let me know if I missed anything!

If anyone were to pay attention to Billy Hargrove, they would realize he would come peeling into the student parking lot at 8:15 am every morning. Never too early to be bunched with the nerds, eager to receive extra time with either an activity or class that morning, but early enough to make his presence known to everyone before class started at 8:45. Exactly thirty minutes is what Billy deemed the perfect time to do, well, whatever he wanted. Whether that be talking with Tommy, leaning against lockers that never belonged to them, checking out random girls as they walked past without Tommy’s on again off again girl, Carol, overhearing, or smoking a cigarette outside, by himself, propped on the hood of his car, ensuring he took particularly long drags when being watched. So it was no surprise that while Steve Harrington sat in his car with Jess Logan, attempting to convince her to do a portion of his physics project, the time changed to 8:15 on Steve’s gold Hamilton, and in came the perfectly polished blue Camaro. As Steve opened his door and dropped his left foot onto the pavement, mid-sentence of “what would be in it for her”, Billy eyed the empty spot next to Harrington’s car, whipped around, and backed into it, causing Steve to jump back into the car and slam his door. 

“Dude, What the fuck?!”

“Why don’t you wait your turn, Harrington?” He smiled devilishly at Steve, not breaking eye contact, practically begging Steve to start something. Max Mayfield eagerly exited the death trap muttering “sorry” and shaking her head in annoyance as she quickly dropped her board and skated away, glancing behind her for only seconds before she disappeared towards the middle school. Billy’s eyes began to move towards Jess, and at this, Steve moved in between his friend and the boy’s gaze, shouldering her bag as he said “let’s go”, not breaking eye contact with Billy until he began to walk towards the high school. 

Once they were out of sight, Jess looked back over her shoulder and shook her head in disbelief, “What an ass.”

“Yeah, I hear girls say that about Hargrove all the time.” 

“Oh GOD, not what I meant Steve!” Jess ripped her bag off his shoulder as he continued laughing at his own joke.

“I mean, it’s fucking Hargrove, you really expect him to ‘wait patiently’?” Steve raised his eyebrows, waiting for an answer, even though he had no need for one. 

Steve and Jess entered the hallways together, as they did nearly every morning, and headed straight to her locker, where Steve continued to pester her about his physics homework. “You’re already in advanced physics as a junior, so this stuff should be like cake for you. It wouldn’t be all of it, promise.” Steve leaned against the neighboring locker and gave her the best attempt at a pout he could produce, making Jess roll her eyes. 

“I’ll do the FIRST part of your lab. You should be able to do the rest once it’s started.” 

“Jess, what would I do without you?”

“Your own homework?” 

With this, Steve chuckled, pulled her into a hug, and walked away towards his own locker, yelling “See you at practice!” over his shoulder as he did. She yells the same right before she feels a shoulder shove into her own, causing the notebook she was holding to fall back into her locker. She looked to her left to find her favorite set of teenagers. To the far right, and the one who no doubt bumped her without apologizing, was Tommy, who had his left arm slung over his now on-again girlfriend, Carol, who was looking back at Jess, lollipop in hand and set between her teeth as she sized her up before looking forward again. To her left was none other than Billy Hargrove and another girl Jess recognized as Jane Dodds, a senior that was also on the cheer team. Jess quickly picked up the notebook, slammed her locker, checking it once it was closed to ensure it couldn’t be reopened, and hurried to her first class, not bothering to look back at them. 

“Have we seen what the prude’s wearing today?” Billy winced at the belittling nickname his friends had reserved for Jess. “I swear she hangs out with Wheeler too much. Wasted potential.” 

“I don’t see this potential you’re talking about, babe,” Tommy jabbed, “She dresses like that for a reason.” Billy chuckled at this, not because he found it funny, he rarely found anything that came out of Tommy Hagen’s mouth funny, but because it wasn’t even a week ago that he was practically drooling over Jess while she was in her uniform after school. “I don’t know though, what you think, B?” 

“Eh. She’s all right.” The truth was, Billy thought she was absolutely gorgeous. Her dark hair was always either swept back into the perfect ponytail she wore at practices or games, or was let down, where it bounced slightly below her shoulders. She was still able to keep a slight tan, even in the middle of November, which reminded him of home, and despite what Carol ever said, he liked the way she dressed. But for right now, ‘all right’ was enough to describe the way he felt about her. 

“Don’t know if we can call her a prude anymore though. She’s been hanging out with Harrington a lot since his breakup, and you know he was getting it in with Wheeler every night. Wonder what him and Logan are up to now.”

“Ew, Tommy! He told you that?” 

“Nah, but he didn’t have to. They were together, like, every day. Why else would he hang with her every day.” Tommy gave Billy a knowing look, which upset Carol, causing her to throw Tommy’s arm off her. 

“So you don’t like spending time with me then?” 

Thankfully, they reached Billy’s locker, giving him the excuse to break off. “See you guys,” but no one was listening as Tommy sped after Carol, trying to tell her she was being overdramatic. It wasn’t till Billy closed his locker that he realized Jane was still standing right beside him. Billy scrunched his eyebrows at the girl, confused as to why she was still there. She was Carol’s friend, not his. 

“She’s completely ruining the cheer team with her weird choreography. I’m not sure what Steve even sees in her.”

What was this bitch going on about? “Who?”

“The prude?” 

He couldn’t care less about anything going on in any cheer team, and quite frankly, couldn’t care less about anything going on in this girl’s life. All he knew is he needed to get to class. Jane looked up at Billy with hopeful eyes, wanting to start up an actual conversation with him, one that didn’t involve others, like Carol and Tommy, stealing the spotlight, making him laugh. Billy saw this, saw that she was ready to cling to every word he would say, but he was in no mood for this admiration right now, especially at the expense of someone who he didn’t find half bad, so he did what he normally would avoid doing when trying to sleep with someone, he spoke his mind. 

Billy began to smile and shake his head, looking straight into Jane’s hopefully eyes, and just as she started to smile back, he spoke. “Jesus, I don’t care about your little,” he paused, and gestured at her nonchalantly, waving his hand, “thing.” Jane dropped her smile, and so did he, looking at her only for a second more, then disappearing into the crowd, leaving Jane stranded at the locker, wondering what she did wrong. 

---

One thing Billy enjoyed about going to a small, shitty school was having to share the gym with the cheerleaders. Normally, they would only stretch in the gym and proceed the rest of fourth period outside. But seeing that it began to rain, the girls were forced to continue practice indoors, a decision members of each team were excited about. 

“Okay, as we can see, we have some guests this morning,” Coach looked at the cheerleaders with distasted, not because he had a dislike for them, but because every time they shared the gym, not much practicing went on. “and because we won’t be distraction-free, we’ll be doing a scrimmage for this morning’s practice. Hargrove, Harrington, start picking teams.” 

“Girls, you’ll be splitting up into two groups, keep them even. Logan, your group will be cheering for Harrington’s team, Stinnet, yours will cheer for Hargrove’s. I want to see you both working on the choreography. No standing still looking awkward. And stay. tight.”

Alicia Stinnet began to walk to the other side of the court, Jane and her best friend, Katie, following closely behind, wanting to cheer for whatever team Billy was on. Chrissy Cunningham stayed in place until Steve called for Jason Carver to be on his team. She then joined Logan and the rest, giving her boyfriend a thumbs up as she did so. 

“Cunningham, Logan, front and center.” Coach Dien had made both herself and Chrissy co-captains this year, making them both in the running for captain next year. At first, this excited Jess. She had been working hard every year in practice, but she only realized the amount of pressure that came with it when the season started, having her coach watch her every move like a hawk, handing out praises to Chrissy while criticizing everything Jess did. She was sure Chrissy was a shoo-in, and she was just an honorary mention. But she still took her place next to Chrissy, both of them exchanging smiles. 

“Alright boys. LET'S GO!” Billy and his team began to take their shirts off, making a show of it in the process, no doubt for the girls on their side. Katie and Jane began to blush, both looking at each other while suppressing giggles. Steve looked over at Jess and raised his eyebrows, making Jess roll her eyes in embarrassment for her team. He then began to roll his hips, pretending to also be taking his shirt off. 

“HARRINGTON, stop flirting.” His coach then blew his whistle, threw the ball in between both Steve and Billy, and quickly ran out of the way for Steve to win the tip-off, passing the ball to Jason. Jess and Chrissy began to cheer, but for different reasons.

“Go Jason!” “YES STEVE!!”

To say Jess loved watching Steve Harrington play was an understatement. She never missed a game, even if she wasn’t assigned to go and cheer at one, she would go just to watch him. Every time she cheered for him, she sounded less like a cheerleader, and more like a proud parent, making her coach give her a telling look to take it down a notch, sometimes going as far as to say it was ‘un-lady-like’, but Jess never cared, and Steve loved that about her.  Jess and Chrissy continued to lead their group through routines, cheers, even the new choreography Jess added, keeping their coach satisfied. They would occasionally cheer Steve and the others on his team on, making sure to keep in sync when doing so, that is until Steve scored his first basket. 

“That’s right, Steve! Nice follow-through!” Steve tried to hide the proud smile but failed as Jess continued to loudly clap. 

“Logan, you’re still at practice…”

“Sorry coach.”

Billy’s nostrils flared with determination, not ready to let Steve score another time, annoyed by the praise he was getting. Jane and Katie took this opportunity to cheer loudly for Billy, which earned Katie a wink from him.  Katie looked over at her best friend with excitement, hoping she would return the favor, but Jane just looked Katie up and down, wearing a half-assed smile and a gaze of absolute jealousy. Katie didn’t notice and turned her attention back to Billy, now even more excited to cheer for the blond. His new set of groupies gave him a deeper sense of conviction, and not wanting to let his fans down, he dribbled toward the basket, clotheslining Steve in the process, and making an easy lay-up.  

“Nice, Hargrove, keep it up.”

“What?! That was a foul! Steve’s feet were planted and…”

“Logan,” Steve’s coach didn’t need to look away from the game to know whom he was arguing with, and his warning tone told Jess she was going to lose said argument. 

“Logan! I don’t see a smile, and what did I say about staying tight? Good, Cunningham. Get those feet higher!”

Jess huffed in frustration, but of course, did as her coach said and put a smile on her face as she continued to practice, keeping her arms tighter than ever. Billy looked over at her and licked his bottom lip menacingly, “Looks like you’re cheering for the wrong side, princess.” 

Eventually, practice was over with Steve’s team leading by 7. Everyone was dismissed to their respective locker rooms after it was made clear that there would be no practice after school for either team. Something about a teacher’s meeting, but nobody seemed to care about the why. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood, besides Billy Hargrove, who was still sour from losing. 

“Hey, Harrington, maybe next time tell your girl to shut the hell up so we could focus, huh?” 

“Maybe next time make more of your shots.” 

Everyone in the boys' locker room stopped what they were doing and began egging on the two boys. Billy used the newly formed audience as more fuel to his fire and started walking closer to Steve, chest heaving in the process. 

“Alright guys knock it off, we’re a team an- “

“Shut up, Carver,” Billy turned his attention back to Steve, “you know, she’s real cute and all, but she’s a bit of an annoying bitch.” 

Steve continued to dry his hair and pulled on his shirt, responding with, “I’ll let her know you think she’s cute,” before making his way out of the locker room, unwilling to spend any more energy on the sore loser. 

Billy would continue to gripe about Steve’s personal cheerleader, but it wasn’t her that pissed him off, or even the fact that he had lost to Harrington. If he was being honest with himself, which he barely ever was, it was their relationship, it was the way that there were no ulterior motives behind her praises, no looks of lust, or fear, or longing to get his attention that Billy was used to. He didn’t know exactly what her look consisted of when she looked at Steve, all he knew is that he was jealous of it, of their friendship. And at the Byers’, he got a taste of what it was like to maybe be her friend, the way she just sat there and talked to him casually, the way she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind about his blood-stained teeth, it was different, refreshing. It wasn’t until she looked at him coldly and said the words, “we’re not friends” that it was ripped away from him, and he was stuck with the reality that all he had was Tommy Hagen, who‘s never had an original thought in his life, Carol Perkins, who would most definitely sleep with him behind Tommy’s back, Jane Dodds, who would talk shit about anyone, even her own best friend just to get Billy’s attention, Vicki Carmichael, who he didn’t even talk to, and whoever else went to the parties, the ones where he was never sober enough to remember any of their names the next day, and that would have to be enough. 

Jess waited for Steve outside the gym, laughing with Chrissy in the meantime. Once Steve came out to join her, however, Jess quickly stopped giggling and gave Steve a questioning look. 

“Hargrove.”

“Ah.”

“He says you’re cute by the way.”

Jess and Steve offered to stay behind with Chrissy while she waited for Jason, and by the time they all arrived at the cafeteria, it was already packed with hungry teenagers waiting in line for mediocre food. Once receiving what Jess believed was meatloaf and mashed potatoes, she and Steve slowly made their way to their table, passing a group who seemed to be filling out what looked like homework at first. 

“No, no I already told you, dex is where you want to put the 17, what’s a rogue gonna use strength for?” Eddie Munson seemed to be desperately trying to keep it together while coaching a new player on how to create a character. Eddie looked up for only a second and caught Jess’s eye, giving her a quick head nod, then turning his attention back to the stressed freshman. Jess tried to smile politely back but was too late as he was already flailing his hands above his head trying to explain skill points. 

“I can’t believe you used to be friends with him,” Steve said as Jess began to sit down next to Chrissy.

“Who? Eddie? I mean, I was in middle school, Steve. And plus, he was nice.”

“You know he was supposed to graduate last year?”

Jess rolled her eyes at Steve’s response. Like his not graduating on time affected how nice he was. 

“Oh hey, Jess, are you coming to the church activity tonight? We’re raking leaves for Mrs. Green tonight. She’s been having trouble since her surgery you know? And then afterward we’re going to read a few verses back at the activity center,” Chrissy then started speaking to Jess in a whisper, “You know, everyone misses you. We haven’t seen you in a while. No pressure, it would just be really cool if you went.”

“Oh, Chris, I’m sorry, but I’ve been really busy with school and everything. Physics is really kicking my a-butt and… I have a whole bunch of other homework. Maybe next time?” 

Chrissy’s smile went from hopeful to disappointed, but she nodded her head with understanding. “Yeah, next time!” 

Jess hated lying to Chrissy. Deep down Jess knew there would never be a next time, and she believed Chrissy knew that too, though she would hopefully never learn why. There was something that didn’t sit right with Jess after witnessing what really happened to 

Barbara, and Will being possessed by something other than the Devil, and El being able to manipulate the world around her. Jess had seen real evil, real demons, and they looked nothing like fallen angels. 

---

Seventh period couldn’t come soon enough. English was Jess’s favorite class of the day for the simple reason of there being no wrong answers. She loved being able to interpret texts the way she pleased. There were no formulas to direct her, no complicated steps to remember. It was just her, and whatever book was assigned for the time it was assigned for. The only problem with this class: Billy Hargrove. It wasn’t that he was an asshole during this period. He typically never spoke and sat in the back whereas Jess made it a point to sit at the very front. It had more to do with the staring, and though she wasn’t able to see him throughout the period, she could feel his eyes burning a hole in the back of her head.  However, she soon felt the discomfort from Billy’s gaze fade away as Mr. Crowley informed them of what they would be reading this next semester. 

“Now, because the Iliad is,” He then brought out a thick novel, making a majority of the class groan, “about 700 pages long, you will have all spring semester to read it and complete all projects and assignments. The Iliad is an epic poem written around 800 BC, so it might be hard to understand at times for… some of you, but that’s why I’m putting you in groups of two. Also, the school could only afford enough books for half the kids in your class, so there will be ONE book per group, so please, let the more responsible of the two keep it if you don’t mind. It’s important that you work together. There will be a quiz this Monday for the first chapter.” More groans followed. “It’ll be easy people, just to make sure you actually read the chapter this weekend. Once I call out your partners, get together and figure out a schedule to meet after school for, basically the rest of the school year.”

Mr. Crowley began calling out names, which began being drowned out by the moving desks of students joining their partners. 

“Darla Johnson, Jackie Williams.”

“Jessica Logan,” Jess began to get up to receive her copy from Mr. Crowley but stopped suddenly when she heard whom she was paired with, “William Hargrove.” Jess spun her head around to see if it really was him, and when she saw him leave his seat, she rushed over to Mr. Crowley to grab the book. 

“Mr. Crowley, about our partners, would it possible if-“

“No switching partners, Ms. Logan.”

Her classmates began to snicker, and Jess turned back around, red with embarrassment. Billy walked up to her and didn’t stop till they were toe to toe. “Where we sittin’, princess?”

Jess bumped him, walking back to her desk. Billy snapped at Jake Fieldway, using his thumb to point upwards, indicating he needed to get up, and then took his desk, scooting it so he was shoulder to shoulder with his new partner.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Sorry, Jocelyn.” Jess looked over at him, unimpressed. And there it was again, his shit-eating grin. “So tell me, what is your middle name.” 

“I’m not doing this with you, Hargrove, can we please just..”

“Figure out the dates I get to go over to your house?” Billy kept his grin and added a wink for good measure.

“Okay, that’s it.” Jess began to rise from her desk, about to demand a new partner, when Billy reached for her wrist, grabbing her hand instead. “Get off-“

“Wait, wait, just, sit down for a sec.” And Jess sat, though she didn’t understand it, she felt the need to hear Billy out. “Listen, I really need this grade, okay?” Billy’s voice was lower than a whisper, his eyes continued to look around to ensure there were no eavesdroppers, “I’m not exactly doing so hot in this class right now, and let’s be honest, you’re like the smartest kid in this class.”

“Oh I’m smart now? Not even a few hours ago I was an ‘annoying bitch’. And I’m not just gonna let you use me for a grade. Besides, wouldn’t you rather be paired with her?” Jess gestured toward Jane, who was ignoring her partner as he tried to plan study sessions and was looking over at their table longingly. 

“Jess, she's a senior, in junior English.”

"Oh, right..."

“Exactly, come on, you won’t be doing all the work, I’m not completely fuckin useless. I’ll be a great partner, promise.” And with this, Billy raised his eyebrows in question, dipping his head down and pressing his lips into a line, waiting for Jess’s response. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Jess contemplated this for a moment. It didn’t seem as though Mr. Crowley was going to allow her to switch anyway, and the promise that she wouldn’t be doing all the work like she normally did resonated with her. 

“Fine. But you better prove me wrong.” 

 “Hell yeah, that’s my girl.” 

“Absolutely not.”

“What? You like ‘princess’ better?”

“How about we stick with Jocelyn.” 

“Very funny.” Billy looked over at Jess while he fiddled with the pages of their shared book, “Sorry by the way.”

“For?”

“The ‘annoying bitch’ thing. But you were being pre-“ 

“Quit while you’re ahead, Hargrove.”  Jess grabbed the book from Billy’s fidgeting hands and turned to Book 1. Billy looked down at where she had turned, and his eyes began to widen. 

“Oh fuck.” 

This is going to be a very long semester.

---

Jess rushed out right when the bell rang, ready to complain to Steve about her misfortune. However, Billy was hot on her tail, calling out her name while maneuvering passed the desks everyone ‘forgot’ to put back. 

“Jess, hang on there, princess. We never talked about when we’d be meeting up. I mean, I didn’t get to finish reading, and it was just getting so good,” Jess rolled her eyes at this, something she figured she’d be doing often, “What’re doing tonight? Let me take you home and we can-“

“Can’t. I’m helping Steve with his physics homework tonight.” They just made it out to the parking lot, and as if on cue, Steve came rushing up to her with, Dustin? “What are you two up to?” 

“Ah, see I’m helping this guy style his hair tonight, you know, gotta keep the legacy alive. So I’m gonna head over to Henderson’s after I drop you off and-” 

“Well, would you look at that? Looks like your night’s cleared up.” 

Steve, refusing to acknowledge him with a response, looked over at Jess, and pointed at Billy, “What the hell is he doin here?”

“We have a project together,” Jess said with a tight-lined smile. “And what about the physics lab?” She tried to hint that she needed him to save her, to get her out of having to spend the first night of her weekend with Billy Hargrove, and continued to move her eyes from him to Billy, until he responded with, 

“Ah no, that’s not due till the last day before winter break, we’re good.” 

Jess stood there, mouth open, looking at who was supposed to be her best friend in disbelief. What good was a best friend that couldn’t even take a hint that she needed him to agree with her? Before she could encourage Steve to answer differently, Mike, Will and Lucas biked their way over to them.

“Dustin, come on let’s go.”

“I’m riding with Steve today, he’s doing my hair!” Dustin began wiggling his eyebrows excitedly. 

“What, why?”

“No but really, why?” Billy chimed in, “How often that kid wears caps, he’ll be bald within the week.”

Dustin dropped his smile and pulled off his hat, “What?! Steve??” 

“No, don’t listen to him, you’re not going bald. Hargrove shut it.”

“Wait, what’s going on?” Max rolled in on her skateboard, then kicked it up into her hands, “What did I miss?” 

“Dustin’s going bald!”

“No, Mike, Dustin is not going bald. I’m taking him over to his house and I’m… teaching him how to do his hair, man that sounds ridiculous the more I say it.”

“OOOO can I come? I wanna see how stupid he ends up looking.” Max then looks at Billy pleadingly. 

“You go if Jess lets me take her home.” 

All eyes were now on Jess. She happened to catch the three boys on their bikes, shaking their heads at her, warning her not to do it, but then she looked over at Max and the eager look she had. They would have to meet up this weekend eventually. So against her better judgment, she looked at Billy and said, “Fine.” 

“Jess, you sure? I mean, we could always do the lab if you wanted to start early-“ 

Jess looked over incredulously at Steve, “A little too late for that, Steve.”

Lucas, Mike, and Will looked over at Billy, then Jess, with worry covering their features, the night of November 5th still fresh in their minds, but eventually biked away with Lucas shouting, “Henderson’s anyone?” The rest of the boys laughed and all agreed to go straight to his place.

Steve then started entering his car, with Max getting in the back while Dustin stuffed his bike in 

Steve’s trunk. He gave Jess a look, and asked, “You’re sure?”

Jess nodded and added, “It’ll be fine.”

Steve looked over at Billy, and then back over at Jess, giving her a look to wish her luck. Dustin then entered the passenger seat and began looking into the passenger mirror.

“Steve! I see a spot!” 

“Oh my god, where?!” Max responded excitedly.

“For fuck’s sake, Dustin, you’re not going bald!” Steve slammed his door right after giving Billy a dirty look and then sped off. 

After Steve's car was out of view, she turned back to Billy, who was already getting into the driver's side. Jess then entered his car as well, which smelled of cigarettes, cologne, and something else she couldn't make out. Without looking at her, he put his keys in the ignition, leaning one elbow out his window.

“Alright, where to princess?”

[jonnnysuh]

How To Write Good // Vernon

A/N: It all started with watching Vernon’s English tutor series and now we’re here omg. This is my first series so please give it some love <3 kind of unedited so lmk if there’s any mistakes! PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE

PAIRING: Vernon x You

GENRE: enemies to ???, fluff, student!vernon, tutor!vernon

WARNINGS: swearing

WORD COUNT: 2.7K

SUMMARY: There’s the crisp air of campus, the rush of something new, and a four year degree ahead of you. Your college experience doesn’t go off as smoothly as you’d hoped when you fall asleep on course selection day and are stuck with left over electives. Struggling to get through your creative writing class, you have no idea how you’re going to get through this semester. Fate steps in when the stranger you fought in the library might just be your only chance at passing. This is all just part of the college experience… right?

Orange leaves began surrounding the burnt red brick pathway, and the small green hills of the campus quad.  Fall was fast approaching, without much warning.  The bright summer sky, now often clouds of gray. The wind brushed past you, causing your hair to fly up. Your legs brushed together quickly as you tried to make your way through campus to get to your Writing in the Arts class. You swore to yourself that you wouldn't sleep through course selection but sometimes sleep was an actual priority to you...and it so happened to be on that day.  Not your first choice, but definitely miles ahead of  Economic History on the list of leftover electives.

You flipped over your wrist to take a look at the time on your brown pleather watch. 8:12.

Professor Hampton was an older woman, who always kept her sandy brown hair in a slick tight low bun. She had enforced a rule that the doors to the lecture hall would shut 15 minutes past the hour. If you didn’t make it then you’d have to get notes from a classmate. Maybe it’d be fine if you had a friend in the class that was actually punctual, but you had often sat alone in the same spot in the far left corner of the class room.  Time was definitely never on your side as you reckoned you only had 3 minutes left until your trip downtown was rendered useless. 

You swung the thick metal door open, and began pumping your legs forward, not stopping until you reached the top of the stairs. To your luck, the lecture hall was on the exact end of the hallway. As you took longer strides, your gray backpack bounced behind you. Finally arriving at the end of the long hallway, you came face to face with Professor Hampton, who had a scowl so thick you’d think it was drawn on with a felt tip permanent marker. Without an ounce of forgiveness, that old lady secured the door shut, eyes keen on your betrayed face just a few centimetres from hers.

With the little pride you still had, you contained the urge  to bang on the door repeatedly and say "OPEN UP."

If you hadn't had time to get ready that day, or missed your bus, dammit this would've been the boiling point that would've driven you to  kick the wall. Your saving grace was that there was a cute guy typing away on his laptop in this hallway and you'd be damned if you were about to look a fool.

It was that moment, you knew that if you were going to pass this class without sacrificing a wink of sleep, you were going to have to make a friend that was good at writing notes. And quick.

—

The next day, you navigated your way through the twists and turns of the library, never having had been there a day in your life. You swear you’d gone in a circle at this point. You promised your best friend, Taylor that you’d secure a spot for your impromptu study date. Although you both had good intentions, you knew it was more than likely going to become a gossip session that involved sometimes looking at class material.

Among the rows and rows of occupied tables, you finally found an empty table, situated next to the window that overlooked the architecture and art buildings. You settled in the chair, slipping your laptop out of your tote bag , and typing mindlessly to look busy while you waited for your friend. With a look around the room, you wondered if people actually studied at the library or if they were just faking it like you.

You were so immersed in your game of Tetris you almost didn’t hear the voice that said , “Hey, I think you’re at the wrong table.”

You paused your game and surveyed the empty wooden table you were sitting at.  You blinked slowly at the brown haired man.  “I was here first.”

“That might be true but I booked it out for the hour.” The stranger stood with a slight slouch, sporting a backwards snapback and a deep green hoodie. He didn't look like the type to hang out around the library- but then again, neither did you. You swear you had seen him before, but you couldn't place where.

Did I go to high school with him?  you thought.

What if he was ugly and had a glow up and that’s why I don’t recognize him?

You took a closer look at him.

Nah. I don’t think he’s ever been ugly in his life.

“Look. My name's right here." He leaned forward, showing you his screen.

[TABLE 9] 3:00pm - Vernon C.

You pushed the phone away, unimpressed. "But you showed up late."

"It was only 6 minutes." Vernon scoffed, as if his tardiness would automatically forfeit him from his table.

"Well, have you ever heard of finder's keepers?"

Vernon nodded, his voice pointed. "But have you ever heard of fair and square?"

You tried your best to conceal the fact that you were somewhat amused by his elementary-level comeback.

"Could you look into your great, big heart to share?” You pouted tauntingly.

"Oh, yeah, because you need a table to play Tetris." He responded sarcastically but it was as if he had crept into your mind. You dreaded the idea of being on your feet trying to find another place for your game.

Your best friend rolled in between you two innocently, confused at the interaction at hand. It was like a kid walking in on their mom and dad fighting for the first time… except dad is a Tetris-hating stranger you just met 3 minutes ago.

“Sorry I’m late, Y/N.”  Taylor interjected, trying her best to mend the atmosphere with a grin.  Vernon's posture went notably straight as he exhaled, returning a sweet close-lipped smile. You couldn't help but notice the way he looked at your friend- you squinted at the shadow of the difference between this Vernon and the one that basically told you to fuck off only moments prior.

Without a doubt, you knew he was suffering from the "Taylor Effect".

Taylor was your textbook girl next door; equipped with a warm demeanour, and a confidence that was endearing rather than cocky.  You could tell that Vernon was trying his best not to stare so obviously, but he was failing miserably.

Because everyone gravitated towards her, many found it odd that she chose to keep you as company. Sometimes you thought she stuck around only because your personalities were so starkly different and would emphasize how great she was, but time and time again she proved she was notable on her own accord.

"Did I interrupt something?"

You and the man shared a look.

Vernon had a feeling that if he let you speak first, that you might ruin his chances with Taylor, and there was absolutely NO shot that he was going to tell her what had just happened. You were quick to take advantage of the situation.

“Vernon just wanted to take the tab-“

He shook his head, "No, no, no I was just leaving."

You raised your eyebrow, smugly.

“I'll see you later,” He bid.  Your eyes widened as he went closer to you, clasping his hand around yours and pulling you forwards into an almost embrace. He dapped you up. Vernon dapped you up. What? Did he think you were bros now?

Ya, right. You thought. This is my first and last time in this library. You will never see me or my Tetris again.

And with that, he swung his backpack over his shoulder  coolly and headed down the long carpeted aisle in the other direction.

Only a few moments later did he return to go through the north exit. “Wrong way.” He mumbled, charting past both of you.

—

“So you don’t know anyone in that class?” Taylor said in disbelief as you two sat at the table you had only marginally won.

“No, I missed the first two weeks so by the time I actually went to class  they already had their groups.”  you responded, blowing air out of your mouth in frustration.

School had only just begun and Taylor had swept up a bunch of friends, including you, in just this one semester.

You, on the other hand, were awkward, but not in the forgivable way. You never knew the right thing to say, and your sarcasm drew a fine line between a joke and the truth. You felt like you always had to bite your tongue to hold a decent conversation with someone. In turn, this scared a lot of people away, and resulted in a small but good group of friends that understood you.

For some reason though, you did well with confrontation. That was the only time you could force yourself to not care about what someone else thought about you. Other than that, your communication skills were almost useless.

“So go up to those kids and say hi.” Taylor responded.

You knew your best friend was being well meaning, but sometimes she felt like she oversimplified your problems because she saw it through her own lens. Of course it would be easy for Taylor to do so, but for you it would be a different story. Your stomach turned at even the mere thought of introducing yourself to the group of strangers that always sat all the way in the front of the lecture hall.

“I’ll just figure it out. I don't know how to just talk to people."

“What about that guy that I just saw you with? What was that about?”

You cleared your throat, fixing your attention to your laptop screen. Getting work done suddenly seemed more interesting.

“No, no, no look at me.” Taylor dragged your laptop away.

You begrudgingly looked at your friend. “What about him?”

“Who was that? He was kind of cute.” She cupped her cheek with her hand and sat closer, clearly interested. It was rare to see you with anyone other than your usual friend group so Taylor was invested in your endeavours outside of it.

You knew that if you told Taylor about your weird argument with a stranger, that she’d explain that you were unfriendly, that you needed to be nicer, etc. etc. You didn’t need a lecture today.

“Just some dude who finished using the table.”

Taylor chuckled, “What kind of guy says bye like that to a person he just met?”

Her guess was as good as yours.

—

ONE WEEK LATER

Determination is setting 25 morning alarms, pre-picking your clothes and opting for an on-the-go breakfast in order to just make it on time for class. You took your final strides towards the class slowly, knowing you finally had time on your side. Would it be crazy to call waking up at 6am a victory? Doesn’t matter, you were just so happy, you could answer Professor Hampton’s questions… that is, if you listened.

At the bottom of the lecture hall, sat the aforementioned groups, while the top were lonesome stragglers looking at their phones in an effort to look less lonely. You knew they were probably just reviewing their settings; turning their wifi on and off.

Professor Hampton cleared her throat into the microphone at the front of the class, prompting you to pick up the pace to your regular spot at the far left corner.

No way.

Your speed slowed down again, as you craned your head to get a better look at a brown-haired boy sitting by himself.

Despite the numerous empty seats to choose from, your caffeine rush assisted you in making the possibly dumb decision of sitting exactly right next to him. He seemed unbothered, though as he didn’t look up to question it.

Professor Hampton played her slides, while you pulled out your laptop out of your tote bag.

“Hey.” You whispered.

The man’s light brown eyes flickered towards you.

“You’re in this class?” Vernon whisper-exclaimed.

It registered in your brain that this might’ve been a mistake.

You nodded.

Vernon kept his focus on the front of the class, his pencil swivelled  away on his lined paper. You had never seen anyone actually take real-life notes before. You scanned his paper, pleasantly surprised at the organization.

“Why did you dap me up last week?”

“I honestly don’t know what I was doing.” He admitted.

Boys do dumb things around pretty girls. You'd seen it happen so many times with Taylor.

“She’s cute isn’t she?”

“Who?” Vernon was quick to play dumb, but he clearly knew. 

You were fascinated by how he was writing and listening to you at the same time.

“Taylor—my friend.”

Vernon squinted his eyes, either to think or because he couldn’t see the projection clearly. It made you wonder why he sat in the back of the class if that was the case.

“Yeah, she is.”

Bingo.

You silently relished in your impromptu decision to sit next to a stranger.

“What would you say if I got you a date with her?”

Vernon put his pencil down. “You strike me as the kind of person who wouldn’t do that out of the kindness of your heart.”

You snorted. “You’re right.”

Vernon let out a deep sigh, pushing his hoodie sleeve up his arms. He relaxed back in his seat and stared at you as he waited for your proposal.

“What is it?” His deep voice was littered with impatience but it was clear he was at least curious.

You weren’t  prepared to gain his full attention. Your mind went several ways as you collected your thoughts to be as concise as possible.

“I’m struggling in this class, okay? I can’t always make it on time, and creative writing? Not really something I’m interested in.”

“Then why’d you take the class?”

“Why does anyone do anything here? For the credit.” You responded as if the answer was obvious.

Vernon’s raised eyebrows was enough to tell you that he was actually passionate about this subject— which was perfect for you if you wanted to pass the class.

“How do I come into this, though?” His patience running thin from your incredibly interesting backstory.

“If you tutor me up until midterms and I pass, I’ll get you a date with Taylor.”

He shook his head “What if you fail?”

“Then you can take that as a reflection of your teaching skills,” Vernon rolled his eyes. Okay maybe that was a bad joke. “but on the plus side you’ve gained a new friendddddd.”

Professor Hampton gave you two a dirty look on her way back from shutting the lecture hall’s door. Vernon picked up his pencil to look busy and you tapped on your trackpad to turn the screen on.

“And what if I say no?” Vernon said between his teeth, catching the professor glare right at him with her scowl turned up to one hundred.

“Then I’ll shit talk about you to Taylor so you never have a chance.” You threatened. Your mom always urged you to use your brain, and boy, were you using it.

“You want me to teach you how to be creative?”

You shrugged. “I mean, how hard can it be?”

Vernon looked down at his notes contemplating his choices. He was silent for so long that you actually started typing notes.

“Y/N” Vernon whispered. You seemed to be fully immersed in the lesson now. Your eyes absorbing the information... Maybe writing was kind of fascinating.

“Y/N” He tried again, snapping you out of a trance.

“My bad.” you apologized. “I didn’t know the interesting part of the story was called the climax like ew—”

“I can only tutor you on Thursdays between 6 and 8 in the library. Bring your laptop and be prepared to learn.”

You knew you didn’t have class at those hours, so it should’ve been fine, but you also dreaded staying after school longer than you had to.

“What about 4-6?” You pleaded.

Vernon looked offended at your counter offer. “No. 6-8”

“4:30…?” You tried once again.

Vernon snorted at your no-quit attitude. “You wanna pass or not?”

You stuck out your hand defeatedly and Vernon shook on it before either of you could change your mind. Vernon was your new tutor.

Maybe Taylor was right. All you had to do was go up to someone and say “hi.”

And blackmail them. And use your friend as bait.

Making friends was easy.

[http-mingi]

room 657. ⤑ jjk + kth ☏︎

⟶ 𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 : you didn't even realise you were calling a hotline. you're best friend jimin gave you a random number. he said it was a surprise ? well you're in for one.

♡︎ 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 : sexhotline!au, worker!taehyung, worker!jungkook, student!reader

♡︎ 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 : ∝ filthy smut if you squint there’s fluff

♡︎ : 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 : sorry i fr forgot to do the word count !!

⟶ 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 : stressed reader, soft!dom jungkook, harddom!tae , big cock!tae, bigcock!jungkook, size kink??, sub!reader, pussy eating, dirty talk, face riding, hair pulling, fingering, cum eating, praise kinda?? unprotected sex, roughsex, multiple orgasms, heavy heavy dom sub themes, brat!reader , dom/sub themes, pet names, daddy!kink, threesome, dirty talk, cunnilingus, orgasm denial, begging, humiliation, creampie, intense orgasms(?), multiple orgasms, cum eating, insecurities, derogatory language, sexual face-slapping, punishments, dumbification, overstimulation, basically pwp.

let's go!

you sighed heavily as your boots clicked along the laminated floor of your university.

today so far had been a hassle. traffic kept you 2 hours late from school you were earlier fired from your job. your ex boyfriend had recently been stalking you and to top it off there was no hot water this morning.

you were beyond stressed.

most of the time you could deal with it you had thousands of stress relieving techniques. but this time you were all types of frustrated, with school, your job, sexually, friendships, family. you sighed heavily as you dragged yourself inside your classroom.

the bright walls of your university aided in your pounding headache. the distinct smell of coffee and muffins flooded your nose as you blinked slowly.

the tall dark bookcases shielding you from the sunlight as you sluggishly made your way to your seat.

you slumped down on your chair as you massaged your temples in effort to calm your self down. your headache clouded your vision immensely you hastily downed your water and some paracetamol nursing your forehead throughout.

you hadn’t been out on a real date in months. it seemed like the universe didn’t want you on dates, you rarely ever found yourself being okay with that fact.

whilst in a trance your best friend jimin walked excitedly into the classroom.

he constantly and i mean constantly reminded you off the things you were missing out on but it wasn’t like you didn’t want to go out but the issue was you were way too busy.

being an english, law and history major meant that you were constantly studying literally.

you did love him though he always tried for you.

"_____ !! " your friend jimin called out to you. you grumbled in annoyance as you turned your neck towards him.

"what." you sighed out tiredly.

" what the- what's wrong with you ______ ?!" he exclaimed loudly.

" jimin... why are you so loud. " you whine loudly.

“ shut up ___ im literally your only friend.” he said nonchalantly.

“ stopppp!” you whined with a breathy giggle.

“ anyways what are you doing here you have biology?” you asked innocently wiping your exhausted eyes.

“ uhhh... well..”

“ spit it outtt.” you say , head tilting slightly.

" sorry _____ i just- i have a number to give you and i don't call it until you get home! trust me you'll thank me later!!”

0800-765-877

it looked like a legit number so you decided to trust him this one time.

"come on ____ class ended 20 minutes ago wake up." he whined loudly.

" what.....? " you yawned as you groggily wiped your eyes.

jimin let out an exasperated sigh as he dragged you out of class and to your apartment.

" i love you but sometimes i feel like stabbing you. " he says plainly.

" sorry chim, ive just been really stressed lately. i'll make it up to you i promise."

"you can make it up to me by calling that number, it'll solve all your problems i promise."

" jimin... did you connect me to a sugar daddy or something? " you asked as you flopped down onto your sofa

" something like that." he said grinning

" okay well you can go home now . " you muttered yawning

" promise me you'll call them? "

" okay, okay now you can go. "

as jimin left you groaned into your pillow did you have to call them it wasn't really gonna change anything. but at the same time jimin would do the same for you.

your home was simple, minimalistic but you loved it your soft grey sofa in the corner. your small tv playing comfort noise in the background.

you fought your tiredness to finish your essay due for next week. you ached in places you didn't even know you had the most you were aching was down there.

you hadn't had any sexual action in weeks even months.

you decided to go up to your room to try and relive yourself.

you sighed as your hands hovered over the pulsating area.

as a finger trailed it's way up your slit you involuntarily whined as you got tired of the foreplay you plunged a finger inside your soppy cunt.

your plush walls also fighting to relish your much needed orgasm as you groaned into your pillow.

you moaned, whined, groaned and breathed heavily as you desperately tried to reach your high.

you angrily quickened your pace. you were trying so hard yet you still weren't feeling anything.

in a huff you decided to stop trying to reach your endless high.

in the corner of your eye you saw the number jimin had left you.

it wouldn't hurt to call right?

it wasn't gonna be anything weird..... right ?

you took a small breathe as your fingered trembled attempting to type in the numbers.

1 ring

2 rings

3 rings

......

" h-hello? " you whispered out meekly

" hey honey, why don't you speak up for us?" the man on the other end spoke in a deep voice

" im sorry i- i don't know what this- is r-really for?" you spoke slightly louder as you stumbled over your words

"it's a sexhotline darling? "

" i- i well oh...” you huffed out , eyes widening softly you were lost in a trance of thought.

you were suddenly put on hold.

your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you gave yourself time to think.

it wouldn’t hurt right?

you were basically an adult, you felt like a teenage girl again.

so you decided.

Putting a client on hold was a part of their fun. It allows the person to wait and to draw out the anticipation. however in this case you were just confused.

you’ve been pacing back and forth inside your bedroom for minutes it was half eleven in the night , and you certainly didn’t think that your attention would be on this instead of your essay.

suddenly you heard another 'hello' erupt from the phone quickly you grabbed your device breathing heavily you gulped and mustered up your voice.

" h- hi i just want you to know that y-you can carry on I've been- struggling and i- need some just some help?" you say whispering the last part.

" you want us to help you cum bun? " another voice said this time it was lighter, kinder in a way.

“don’t make us talk to ourselves, darling.” the other man snarls.

a gasp emits from your dry lips when the tone of his voice turns firm. there was a strict, domineering tinge in his speech that made you sit still. you were too shocked to reply as your mind tried to comprehend the situation that you got yourself into.

“I-I…” you stuttered completely, wanting to smack yourself in the face. the pet names, their voices it was all over whelming you too much.

you let out a needy whine, both of the men groaned quietly into the phone.

" how old are you baby ? " baby. they called you baby.

" i-im 19? "

" fuck, will you be okay with this?" they ask to make sure

jungkook can’t help the soft growl escape his lips. It has been so rare for him to receive callers who aren’t twenty-five and above, and you might be his first time.

“Ohh, baby girl,” he bites his lip, “I think you’re the first client I’ve had who’s so young.” jungkook says to you

“ is that okay , i-im sorry- "

“Oh, its more than okay , baby. You still wanna continue? I can make you feel so…” he pauses, groaning quietly to himself, “so good.”

your pussy clenches around nothing as you felt yourself getting wetter by the second

"  yes daddy. " you say nodding to yourself. you suddenly froze as you realised the contents of your words

taehyung's eyes widen in shock, his mouth agape, certainly not expecting that sudden word to come out of your lips. He throws his head back, closing his eyes for a brief moment as he feels his dick harden.

It was so difficult for him to hold himself back because all he wanted to do was to say the dirtiest, nastiest things that he wants to do to you in your ear. but he had to slow down.

“daddy? Oh, what makes you call me that, hm? baby?”

you feel your throat go dry, your eyes wide in shock. You didn’t know what to respond without being so shocked with yourself.

" i-i just really need you please please please i need it. " you let it all out, you couldn't be bothered to hide it anymore.

“don’t be a brat kitten.“ taehyung snarled into the phone.

“ b-but daddy! please i- i need it so so bad it’s not fair!“ you whined softly as your fingers ghosted your aching, soppy cunt.

they both groaned loudly, as jungkook conversed with taehyung

" kook, fuck i need to do her in real life she's making this so hard for me."

" same here let's just go for it here she's going to make me cum in my pants." he sighed as he palmed himself to your weak whimpers.

" darling, me and tae were wondering if you wanted to do this in real life- we'd fuck you so good honey, you'd become our little cum dump id love to see your body tremble to the force of my cock. " taehyung said interrupting jungkook.

" yes.. please you said as you moaned quietly to their words

" okay bun, we'll text you where to meet us." jungkook breathed out.

the atmosphere was dripping with heavy lust your eyes shut right as you relished their deep gutural voices.

“ i can’t cum daddy please help me cum pleas-“ you begged in frustration

“oh honey, it’s okay sh- sh it’s ok ill help you just be patient okay? you can do that for me right?” jungkook said in a calm tone

" what's your name by the way."

" it's ____." you say meekly

" ____ edge yourself, fuck yourself just do not cum. "

and with that in the call ended

you sighed loudly grinning slightly, you were gonna get your brains done out by two sexy sounding men.

you smiled to yourself giddily as you finally got some sleep.

________________

the next morning you got up and did your daily routine entirely different you waxed everywhere, shaved, exfoliated, moisturised, basically every strawberry flavoured you had in your bathroom.

it was a Saturday, you had time to spare you texted jimin to meet him before you went to meet 'kook' and the other guy.

not to mention you were frustrated beyond belief you had done what they asked you to do and you half hate half love them for it.

on one hand you could cum from any suggestive touch you were given.

on the other hand you couldn't help but want to thank them you felt so ready for them.

you walked to the cafe.

the soft brown walls encompanied the mahogany floors and the cascade of plants across the room as you happily walked into the bustling cafe.

" what's got you so excited." he said grinning like the Cheshire cat

" uh nothing i just had some good sleep last night. " a lie.

" oh really? "

" yeah i even finished my essay!" not true but not false at the same time.

" wow! " jimin looked at you shocked

" jimin do you really have that little faith in me. " you say annoyed

" to be honest no. " he said chuckling

" jiminnn, well i have to be going now i have an appointment soon. " you explain pouting

" an appointment where? "

" somewhere special ? " you say in attempt to hide

" if you say so. " he uttered playfully and he watches you walk away

you stared at the building in front of you as you checked the address again and again it was a massive condo.

you rang the bell of the apartment square and dialled in the number seconds later you were buzzed in.

you took the elevator and anxiously played with your fingers you finally reached the floor you were headed to and walked into room 657 .

" h-hello i-im here it's ______ " you say confused you really made a large mistake.

suddenly turning around, you were pulled into a sloppy kiss. You immediately relaxed into it, wrapping your arms around his neck the deeper it went. Before it could go on too long, he pulled away.

Pressed between both of their bodies, you could help the way your body reacted. Your lips met Taehyung's again and you whimpered.

Jungkook took the opportunity to press his lips against your neck, skimming them over the collar now around your neck.

He hands gripped your waist, pulling your shirt up ever so slightly to touch the skin that became exposed.

Goosebumps across your skin and you gasped into Taehyung's mouth. The elder chuckled, reaching down to where Jungkook's deft fingers explored to tug up the hem of your shirt.

you gasped loudly as you tensed under their touch.

Already, you could feel your mind turning fuzzy, falling into your submissive roll to let them mold you how they wanted.

Jungkook chuckled as you lifted your arms, allowing Taehyung to pull your shirt off. Left in your bra, you couldn't help but cover your chest as vulnerability set in.

"None of that, bun," Jungkook growled softly, ripping your arms away from your chest. "You wanna be a good girl for us right? Let us take care of you?"

"Y-Yes..." You whined, whining when Taehyung leaned down pressing kisses against your chest above the seam of your bra. Gasping, you pushed your chest out to get more of the feeling.

"What a good girl," Taehyung cooed, falling to his knees in front of you.

You leaned back, using Jungkook as support to help Taehyung pull your jeans off completely. He tossed them away in a heap nearby and without wasting a second, his mouth was on your core.

The fabric of your panties put on the side, feeling his mouth on you fully but as he slid his tongue over your slit and caught your clit, you let out a soft moan.

"What a good kitten for us," Jungkook groaned, hands still cupping your breasts. He pinched your nipples, making your back arch as you cried out.

“Is that pretty pussy wet, Princess? Does your cunt ache to be filled by my cock?” jungkook coaxes

The filth of his words doesn’t surprise you, Under his teasing words, you feel yourself grow wet, your lust-filled desire mingling with the humiliation that flutters through you.

"Aw, your pussy that sensitive, baby?" Taehyung cooed pressing his middle finger to glide directly over the patch where your clit was, making your hips curve inwards as the intensity was blare enough to startle you.

He chuckled deeply at that, kind of sounding like a purr and just when you didn't think he could fuck with your sanity anymore than he was already doing, he turned his head to the side and lapped his wet muscle along your jugular vein before enclosing his lips area the area for harsh suck.

you moaned loudly as you arched your back against jungkook. taehyung put one leg over his shoulder to go deeper.

"Daddy!" You cried as his tongue slid through your folds. He moaned at the unimpeded taste of your cunt. Circling your entrance, he eagerly tasted everything you had to offer.

" don't take it all tae, shit she looks hot." jungkook groaned into your neck, biting licking and sucking against your sweet spot.

you whined as you trembled against the two men. you felt hot.

"Fuck!" You shrieked, spasming when he gave you a slap against your sodden folds . " I—!"

" be careful girl." jungkook growled into your ear

you moaned apologies left right and centre as he continued to abuse your aching clit.

suddenly you were harshly pulled away from taehyung's hot wet muscle and pushed into the soft plush bed.

you whined in protest at your denied orgasm.

" now, you're going to choose. me or tae." jungkook questioned sadistically

" i...i can't choose that i okay um jungkook?" you said in a small voice.

" good decision honey, now lie back let me take care of you." he cooed kindly

taehyung scoffed as he sat back

you were more than happy like this, but when you shifted your hips to grind your centre against his, you both groaned open-mouthed into the kiss.

You could feel that he was already hard in his boxers. Knowing that his willing cock was so close to your needy core erased your mind of any thoughts that weren't of him.

When you dragged your clit against him again you keened, the pleasure incredible despite the barriers between you.

he felt so big as you continued your actions

suddenly you felt his large and literally massive cock push into your plush soppy cunt.

you moaned loudly as jungkook groaned.

taehyung smirked as he shook his head.

" get moving i wanna see her squirt."

jungkook rocked back and forth at a steady pace it was amazing don't get me wrong but you wanted more you needed more.

"more! more please harder jungkook please! " you begged.

" princess, don't beg for things you can't keep up with." he chuckled

there was an animalistic gaze in his eye as he started plunging into your pussy, taehyung mouth open jerking himself off at the sight, your open lie open as he ground his fat cock into you.

you felt hot and euphoric and couldn't help but let moans continuously fall out of your mouth.

suddenly you felt a harsh slap on your face. you felt tears well up in your eyes.

Without warning, his cock was rammed inside you. Raw and hard with the way your pussy was soaking wet from your denied orgasm , he began to relentlessly fuck into you.

tears began spilling out of your eyes continuously and your moans became pornographic.

as if he couldn't go any faster he began to drill inside you, your body shook in ecstasy as his fat cock was pistoned into you.

you felt your high approaching, you panicked and begged for them to let you come.

" please! please let me cum ! ill be good , ill be a good girl ! " you cried out towards them

jungkook craned himself to be face to face with you, as he stared at you with his dark and lustful. his wet lips capture yours into a sloppy kiss .

he forced your mouth open and let his tongue glide upon yours. he sucked on the wet muscle softly as you cried out.

everything felt so good, too good.

you came 3 times alone with jungkook and felt overstimulated beyond belief.

" now it's my turn . " taehyung dead panned

" w-what i can't take anymore ill just su- "

" i said. it's my turn. " he uttered in a harsh tone

you wailed in frustration as your body writhed in defeat .

" you're gonna take it . that's what you asked for . " he spat at you.

observing the way your eyes darken, turning neediness, and the way your chest heaves in short breaths, Taehyung’s jaw flexes.

He pressed the tip against your hole, seeing you tense up almost immediately. taehyung rubbed the end of his cock along your wet cunt before sinking himself into you.

" d-daddy ple- ! " you body spasmed against the head board as taehyung suddenly slammed his body into you continuously.

“ you’re such an eager little whore, aren’t you?” he purrs, condescension laced in his tone.

you tightly held onto the relentless man as you felt your high approaching once more.

taehyung’s thrusts became sloppy as he grunted against your neck.

you felt your body swirl and turn around you and you finally came.

hours later

you groggily woke up as you felt your body give out into the bed.

“ hel- hello? ” you said wearily

“ hi princess.” taehyung smirked

“ round 5?” jungkook asked

you sighed as you submitted to them in their bed

here we go again.

5 missed calls from jimin

[welovetwilight]

Cougar Town Pt.1 (Jasper Hale x Black!Oc)

Summary: There is a new teacher at Forks High School (Eleanor Brown). She just so happens to catch a certain immortals eye. But there are three things that stop them from being together. One, She was his teacher. Two, she was married, and three she just turned 40. (This is pre-Eclipse)

AN: I read a fanfiction where Bella and Alice were cougars and Edward and Jasper were still 17 and 19. It was so different but I really enjoyed it. So this is me experimenting. Enjoy?

This is Eleanor's outfit for the chapter.

Word Count: 1,218

The Cullen's were lounging about in their elegant home. Emmett and Jasper were playing a video game, Edward was messing around on his piano. Giving that, Bella was grounded, it was all he could do. Esme and Carlisle were watching him in amusement. Alice and Rosalie were reading fashion magazines. It was like any other day for them.

Suddenly Alice froze. They all knew what that meant. Quickly, they crowded around the tiny vampire. Everyone looked between her and Edward. He was confused about what he had just seen. An older- yet beautiful woman was holding hands with his older brother, Jasper. "This is wrong Mr.Hale, you should go," The woman looked down in guilt. Then, the vision ends. Alice and Edward share a look of confusion. Rosalie decided to speak up. "Well? What did you see?" She spat in a hurry. Alice shook her head. "I-I think Jasper's mate is moving to Forks," Esme gasps in excitement. "Oh, that's amazing. Right Alice?" She asks as she notices the confused look still on her daughter's face. "I-I think she's the new AP English teacher that everyone was talking about," This makes everyone's eyes widen. "She looked like she was in her late thirties and she..." He looks at his sister wondering if he should share the next part. 'You have to, Edward. We have to prepare for the worse,' The pixie comments in her mind. Edward nods. "Jasper, She's Black,"

Eleanor was ready to settle down. Her 40th birthday just past and she was looking forward to the next chapter of her life. Eleanor and her husband decided it was a good idea to move. A new change of scenery would be nice. She was offered a job as a new teacher in a small town located in Washington. And that's where they were headed. Forks, Washington.

As they drove through the small town, people started at their car in curiosity. She knew they meant no harm. It wasn't every day small towns like these got new residents. "Are you excited about your new job?" Her husband Jimmy asked. She and Jimmy have been together for 16 years. She was still in love with him just like she was at 24 years old. "Oh, I can't wait. I feel like it will be easier teaching here than back in Pittsburgh. Fewer students," She couldn't wait to start work tomorrow.

Eleanor got out of the car in a hurry. She was so happy to start decorating their small home. Walking inside she squealed. Everything was just like the pictures. She couldn't wait to leave her mark on this town.

It was the next day. Eleanor had to wake up earlier than usual due to her having to meet with the principal. She quickly got dressed (Outfit up above) and went downstairs to make some coffee. As she was about to leave, Jimmy walks down the stairs. "You thought you were gonna leave without giving your poor old husband a kiss?" She laughed at his remark and walked over to kiss him. They said their goodbyes and she started her journey towards the school.

The parking lot was empty due to it being early. Eleanor parked the car and made her way to the building labeled "Front Office". When she walked inside, she saw a red-headed woman sitting behind a desk. She walked up to her and greeted herself. "Good morning, I'm Eleanor Brown. I'm the new AP English teacher," The lady looked up at her with a smile. "Oh look how beautiful you are, I'm name is Shelly Cope. Nice to meet you, dear," They talked for a few minutes until the principal called her into his office.

The bell rung, letting her know that first period was starting. She walked into her classroom to see everyone already seated. Most of the boys were in awe of her beauty. She sat her bag down and wrote her name on the chalkboard. "Good morning class. My name is Mrs. Brown, and I'll be your AP English teacher for the rest of the year. I thought for the first ten minutes of class, you might want to get to know me, so ask away," She smiled at the teenagers. "How old are you?" A boy with blonde hair asked. "I just recently turned 40," Some of the boys whistled. She rolled her eyes at their childish behavior. "Are you married," A tan-skinned girl with glasses asked? "Yes for 16 years actually," The girl looks at her with a smile. "That's amazing. What's your secret?" Eleanor smiled at the girl's innocence. "Communication is key. That's one of the reasons most marriages don't work out," They continued on with questions for a few more minutes until she decided it was time for attendance.

She went down the row of names as usual until she got to his. "Jasper Hale?" She looked up from her clipboard to see a pale hand rise. That's when she saw his face. He had chalky pale skin with honey blond hair that stopped at his chin and liquid gold eyes that you could get lost in what seemed like forever. Eleanor cleared her throat. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. He was truly beautiful. What was she saying? 'This is one of your students, Eleanor, get a grip,' She said to herself in her mind. She forced herself to look anywhere else but at him. '"Right, let's begin the lesson," She says, clearing her throat.

Lunch finally came. Eleanor knew she wouldn't be able to keep anything down. She was so disgusted herself. She couldn't believe that she lusted over a student of hers. It was so unprofessional. She was pulled out of thought when she heard a knock at her door. Looking over, she saw Jasper Hale standing at the entrance. "Oh-uh-Mr. Hale... how may I help you?" She was so dazzled by his beauty. She started to feel guilt about how she was acting. In her 15 years of teaching, she has never acted this way towards a student. "Sorry to bother you ma'am, but I just had a quick question about the homework," Eleanor's heart almost stopped when she heard his voice. He had a smooth southern accent that could make any woman go weak in the knees. "Oh! yes yes, please come in," She realized how tall he was as he came closer to her desk. He was at least 6'3, maybe taller. "So, what was your question?" A gasp left her mouth when she felt his ice-cold skin as she took the paper from his hands. "Uh sorry, I have anemia," She just nods her head. "I just wanted to know if you wanted us to make a t-chart or just write down the differences and similarities in a paragraph," Jasper knew what to do but he needed an excuse to see her again. She was truly breathtaking. He didn't care how old she was physically, all he wanted was to be with her. "Oh- uh...either way, is fine," He smiled at her. "I guess I'll see you, next class ma'am," The immortal says with his strong accent. Eleanor could only nod. When he finally left, she let out a breath that she didn't even know she was holding. "This is going to be a problem," She replies rubbing her face.

[zorkaya-moved]

40 . hiding / hoping not to be caught kiss . // step 3. embarrassing. idiots.

@sunshaded

Embarrassing idiots, it could be said about them going after each other for years and years since they were eight. It's been ten years since they've met and the one with ashen hair knows soon it will be the day when they've first saw each other on that destined poppy hill. Her mind races with memories as they both remain in school, finishing their exams and setting aside the last parts of their senior year, knowing already enough to just get the hell out of here. The senior fatigue is true within countless minds in the same year, she already heard Lee say she was ready to get the hell out and enjoy the vast world. Her cousin certainly was someone who would run out, but her mind always returned to Cove and what his plans would be. It made her want to ask, but hurrying the other would only cause nervousness and distress; thus, she didn't inquire anything until he'll speak to her himself.

Zarina knew where her path was going towards to promise him and her family the goods she promised since she was a child, her plans were already long prepared, ahead of her peers by years, but the fact that they were just out of high school made her frown ever so lightly. Cove's last class for the second to last week was different compared to her own, so she bid farewell to her friends and decided to wait for her boyfriend to come out. It was natural as she'd wait for him patiently with a book in her hands, leaning against a tree and standing in the shade. The moment she hears her name was called, she looks up to see her sweetheart approach with the same smile. Already, people behind smirk at that and start to whisper, but she cares not for their petty gossip as they've been dating for a couple of years now.

" Cove, " she closes her book and approaches him, seeing him open his arms for a hug and she hugs him back and nuzzles into the junction between his shoulder and neck, smiling softly and breathing in his scent. As always, he's akin to the beach, her sweetest beach bum who embodies the beauty of the Sunset Bird's beaches and their calmness. Zarina breathes out as she feels all of her tension leave her body. The inquiry if she's ok follows and she can only nod before letting go and stepping back, giving him the warmest smile anyone had ever had the chance to witness besides Holden himself. It's only reserved for him and him alone, to others who don't know her, she's a far more intimidating person. " I missed you, that's all. I needed my recharge. " The woman chuckles as she puts her book in the bag she's been wearing over her shoulder before extending her hand to Cove for him to take.

Hand holding feels natural by now and feeling his warmth only continues to make her feel happier, but there is a moment of hesitation when she squeezes his hand. They're almost done with high school. They would have more exams and their schedule will be different because of how exams would go on and she wants to make some more memories with him before they'll set their foot out of this place. As much as she cannot wait to be an adult, Zarina doesn't want to rush her time with Cove and so, she tugs him away from where all the students are going. At the inquisitory look, the maiden smiles at him apologetically:

" I forgot something in the English class. Can you go with me? " She gives her best puppy eyes, puffing her lips just a bit more to add another charming point to her already pretty appearance (days of learning makeup and skincare routine pay off!). Well, she didn't forget anything. She never forgets anything, it could be a signal to him that something's not right but she already tugs him to go with her back to school once the majority of people passes by.

They won't take long, she thinks, but the thought of her mischievous plans make her smirk inside as they go up the stairs to the second floor, straight towards the English class. Only when they enter the classroom does Zarina step forward, but not before letting Cove enter the empty classroom himself. The impish gleam in her eyes are everything that he needs to know. " Sorry, you knew I was lying, didn't you? I didn't want to go home yet. It's the weekend now, but... It's going to be our last week here next time and... "

Zarina hides her hands behind her back as she approaches the window to look outside, passing Cove for a moment as she remembers how they first went to this school together. It was exciting, it was so fun to be in the same classes as him. It was so fun competing and playing in Hang Man together, it was so fun having lunches together but her mind already knows this is the last week they can actually do this without then being in the strange place of becoming older, going to college or working. As she looks back at Cove, her lips curl into another smile as she steps forward to take his hands in her own, bringing his palms up to let him cup her face. Delighted, she giggles from the warmth it sends into her cheeks.

" Ten years. How crazy is that? " Her gaze softens as she looks at him, smiling. " I cannot imagine a life without you in it, Cove. This school, too, I cannot imagine how it would've gone if not for you. " Her words are a mere whisper at the end as her gaze travels to his lips and then back up. " Can you kiss me? "

She can drown in those beautiful aquamarine eyes, she can bring any star for him to hold in his hands like that firefly she caught for him all those years ago. And when she can see that same familiar blush, be it because of the lighting or because he actually is shy, her heart soars into the seventh sky. Zarina closes her eyes when they kiss, it's sweet and tender, but it's all interrupted when they hear the footsteps of someone outside. She can hear several students going down the hall and she drags cove to the door but instead of opening it to get out, she makes him sit down, pressing his back against the wooden door so no one would be able to see them if they pass by.

Her giggle is soft and her playfulness is playing all across her feminine matured features compared to how she was five or ten years ago. Golden gaze shines as she can hear the students approach the classroom, speaking in-between that maybe what they've lost was in the English classroom and she can see the nervousness of her beloved, which causes her to get his attention on her instead of the girls walking around. Without a moment of hesitation, she claims his lips with hers, locking any sounds from escaping as she kisses him right when the people are passing by. Excitement and the adrenaline over the possibility of being caught while they're hiding is making her heart race and she can see the wild blush on his face and the way Cove widely opens his eyes, but it's beautiful and she smiles through the kiss, holding onto it until the people pass by, speaking that there's nothing in the classroom.

Before saying anything, Zarina taps her index finger against Cove's lips to prevent him from speaking first and voicing his shock over her... well, bold kiss, and what if they were caught.

" One last memory for us here. Almost getting caught making out in a classroom. Some rom-com scenario, isn't it? Pfft. Sorry, I couldn't help it. I thought you're going to give us away, " her chuckles follow as she brings her hand to cover her mouth to stifle her giggles and her laughs, looking at him with nothing but adoration. When she lowers her hand down, Zarina speaks up. " Wanna try again? We can catch the next bus. You and I, without anyone we know. "

Would Cove accept this invitation?

[saving-empress-ac]

So, a rant ahead.

This is the first quiz in Tumblr Tag Games that made me cry. It hit me personally and had accurately described what my daily life is.

For a girl who has always been " in the shadows" and "out-of-place", I guess this world is something I never called a home.

Hey, I'm that kid who is the last one to get into a group whenever the teacher tells the class to choose our own groups for a project. I remember being placed in any group with a missing member and my classmates would grumble. I'm that kid who once did not pass her essay in English about "my best friend" because I had no best friend. I'm that kid who was left behind in the classroom because I was in the restroom when the teacher called for an emergency drill. Funny how no one noticed I was missing until they came back to the room and found me writing in my desk.

I'm that kid who was absent for a Saturday practice at school because they forgot to inform me about the said practice. I'm also that kid who was asked why I wasn't in the pics of my so-called friends' outing. I wasn't invited.

I was that girl who was accused of letting my classmate cheat on me. He was copying my answers and I was the one who was scolded because " I was enabling him". Nobody believed me that day. Funny how everyone consoled him because "he was given a zero mark".

I was that student who was trapped outside the backdoor of the lab where we interned. Nobody noticed I was missing for two hours. I had to climb the back gate and run through the parking lot to get back inside.

I'm that coworker who was tasked to bring the utensils for the Christmas party. I was stuck in traffic back then. They only noticed that i wasn't in the lab when the party was over and they were about to eat. They needed the spoons and the forks, actually.

I'm that employee who was openly told that they only hired me because of my aunt and that if it were up to them, they'll never give my resumé a second look. I'm that girl who was told that i wouldn't get a job because I didn't have enough skills.

I am that coworker who was never invited to "outside-work" activities. I'm that daughter who was left alone at home, waiting for my fam because my parents forgot to text me that they'll be having their anniversary dinner with my sister's boyfriend.

My mom once told me that I am "TOO CHAOTIC TO HANDLE SO NOBODY WILL STAY BY MY SIDE". She told me that out of anger, I know. I also overheard my labmates talking about me "being too weird to be understood". And of course, there's that person who told me that I'll never find a place to belong. So maybe that is why I don't really want to get out of our house, my safe zone, because as far as I can remember, this is the only place that (hopefully) won't kick me out.

And I often lay awake at night asking myself if there must be something I have to change just to "belong". I stopped talking to people at work about my interests and listened to theirs instead. Yes, I can't keep conversations going.

And as bad as it sounds, I usually do people favors so that maybe, they won't explicitly kick me out. A teacher once commented in our report card in High School that my greatest downfall would be willingness to give everything out for others. She wasn't aware that those favors were done for a very selfish reason that I just wanted to belong and I just wanted to be part of a group or something.

I had a fling or something whatever with this guy in High School and he told me that "Wala makatinir simu kay galung ka" (no one can stay with you because you are chaotic). Yup. He never stayed too. He texted me for a while, got me to believe that we were something. Teenager me, who was naive and everything that shouldn't be followed, told one of my "friends" about the guy. They asked him about it and he flat out denied that we were communicating. My friends and everyone in the batch believed him. Yes, I'm that girl who was actually known to be desperate for a guy. Lol

I'm that girl who is "desperate for attention".

I cried when Lauren Bloom from New Amsterdam said that "people don't like me. They tolerate me". And it's so hard to try to be loud enough to at least be heard but I often get my energy wasted for trying. At the end of the day, nothing about me makes sense. Just like this post or whatever.

So, I'm that girl who will tell strangers in Tumblr about her life because a tag game/quiz nailed it.

And you know what hits home the most, it's this quiz telling me that "even the most unstable of particles has it's place in the universe".

-Ava

[billyspotato]

Ex - Billy Hargrove

Words: 1.818 words

Type: Fluff

Summary: You’re Billy’s ex and you end up moving to Hawkins and going to the the same high school as him.

Warning: Non-Canon Billy. English is not my first language. Sorry if I misspelled something. Gender Neutral Reader.

Part 2

The number of pairs of eyes in the hallway glued on you is unbelievable. It's all while a random guy is showing you around the school. You're sure Hawkins doesn't have many visitors, but this is too much.

The hood of your jacket only covers so much of your face, yet people still try to take a look of the new Californian in the school. You aren't really paying attention to any of them, only the ones who didn't even try to make their movements (or lack thereof) discreet. You are simply trying to concentrate on the guy's words so you wouldn't find yourself getting lost on your first day, but it seems impossible to do so.

"And this is where your English class will be. I'm pretty sure that it is..." He said before grabbing the paper in your hands, "Your first class of the day"

"Thank you so much." You say giving him a smile.

The guy smiles back at you before walking away, and you walk into your classroom. There are only 4 people inside the room, but you agree it is better to be early than late for your first day.

One of your parents lost their job a few months ago. Their next job interview only offered them a spot available in Hawkins. The same exact town that your ex-boyfriend, Billy, moved to. This town was the reason for the both of you breaking up, and now here you are. Same town yet secretly hoping that you're in different schools.

The reason for your breakup was the idea of having a long-distance relationship. With a father like Billy's, there's no going back to California that soon, so, it would be hard for you to see each other again.

And, also, you know how Billy is. When dating you, he was very, very loyal to you. Before you started dating? He had everyone available for whatever he wanted and whenever he wanted. And, realistically, why would that change? It's not like dating you made him less attractive. So... as much as it hurts, he is surely back with his flirting and very much fucking everyone.

You take a seat right in the back of the room and watch as everyone starts to get in. It takes some time, but, eventually, even the teacher walks in with the last students. That is enough to take your attention away from the door.

The class, just like in California, was boring and, thankfully, this teacher didn't make your presence known to the whole class. It's not on your plans to have to stand up and introduce yourself to every class today, so, to say this was a good start, it's an understatement.

You look out of the window as the teacher talks. After that becomes boring too, you begin looking at everyone around you. Everyone has their back turned to you, so you can't see a lot, only enough to make you entertained.

Your eyes stop in the blonde mullet, and your whole body freezes. It's one very similar to Billy's. The guy in question keeps looking at the teacher, but that is until his friend beside him throws him a pencil.

"What the fuck?" Billy whispers at Tommy for the random throw, and his friend chuckles before starting to talk to him.

You are in shock, even worse once you see his face. You watch as Billy rolls his eyes at Tommy's words, and, right you make yourself stop looking at him, his eyes move to you. He couldn't really see your face because of the hood of your jacket, but he's not stupid.

The class ends mere minutes later, and you're one of the firsts to leave the room.

"From all fucking schools" You whisper to yourself while walking to your locker.

You don't want to see your ex that surely moved on when you clearly didn't. No one can exactly blame you for what you're feeling right now.

You walk to your locker, as that is the only thing you can remember from what the guy told you before class, and open it before hiding your face with its door. You're shoving your books inside when someone leans on the locker beside you. The person pulls the hood off your head, and you slowly eye the culprit.

Billy. Billy and his smile.

It surely wasn't the reaction that you were expecting, but still.

"Were you planning on telling me that you were here?" He says, and you look back your books.

"I wasn't really planning on being in the same school as you again." You confess, and he chuckles.

Billy's fingers go around the belt loop of your jeans and pull you closer to him, something he used to do a lot.

"When I thought about seeing you again..." Billy starts, and you look over at him, "I wasn't expecting you to not look at me in the eyes for less than 2 seconds"

Shit.

"Well..." You say before closing the door of the locker, "We broke up, Billy... Months ago."

"We did." He confirms, "So what? We broke up because of the distance, not anything else. We're still on good terms."

"I know, but the both of us... move- tried to move on"

Billy opens his mouth to speak but a guy appears next to him with a girl by his side.

"You're new." Tommy comments.

"Yeah, I am." You say while unzipping your jacket, ready to discard it inside your new locker.

"Where are you from?" Carol asks you.

"California" You say and both of them look at Billy, who has his eyes glued on your necklace.

"Oh, really? Did you know Billy?" Carol asks, and you scoff. Does this girl really think everyone in California know each other? It would make it funny if you said you didn't.

You look over at Billy, and he looks up at your eyes.

"Yeah, I guess you can say that." You say looking at them once again.

"Interesting" Carol says, jealousy hitting her right in the guts. Even when with Tommy, her attraction to Billy is no surprise to herself.

Tommy says something to Billy, low enough for you to not be able to hear, and you look around, noticing how almost everyone is looking at you.

"So, what's your name?" Carol asks, and you look at her.

"Y/N, and yours is...?"

"Carol. And this is my boyfriend Tommy." She says, and you nod.

"It's nice to meet you." You say before looking at Billy, "I need to start walking to class."

"I'll walk with you." Billy says.

You nod, and you two begin to walk to your classroom. Billy walks right next to you at your pace.

You were holding yourself together to not just grab Billy and hug him close to you. You did miss him but nothing is the same anymore. From the looks that you were getting, he surely has some reputation here and the looks from some girls and some guys say more than you need to know. You couldn't hurt yourself.

He probably didn't even miss you.

You walk into the room, and Billy follows you. You sit at a table at the back, and Billy sits beside you without hesitation. Billy's eyes stay on you, and you continue to try to avoid his.

"Did you miss me?" Billy asks out of nowhere, and you scoff at his words.

"I don't know, did I?" You tease while looking at him.

"You surely aren't acting like you did." Billy says, and you sigh.

"Of course, I missed you. And you're still a brat" You comment, and Billy chuckles beside you.

"I'm not a brat" Billy defends himself, and you smile at him, making him not able to hold in his smile either.

"And did you miss me?" You poke while looking at the room's door.

“I did. There's no denying that."

You smile at him, and the teacher walks in.

"Mr. Hargrove, I'm pretty sure that you're not a part in this class." The teacher says making everyone look at the both of you.

"I'm not. My apologies." Billy says as he gets up.

Billy looks at you before whispering:

"After school, wait for me by my car"

(...)

Once you finally found the blue Camaro, you walked to it and sat down on its hood while waiting for Billy.

People in your school know you as the new student, and the fact that the new student is just sitting on top of the king of the school's car is shocking. Some are even not driving home yet to just see Billy's reaction to that, expecting him to explode on you.

You keep looking at your dangling legs while your arms hold you up, bored out of your mind. You look up once you see Billy's shoesk and he stands in front of you.

"I like that you're still wearing the necklace I gave you." He says while playing with your matching necklace to see the carved 'B' on the back.

"I can say the same." You say with a smile when looking at his chest.

His necklace is already flipped around, the initial of your first name craved on it.

After some seconds of silence and just looking at each other, you decide to speak your mind.

"Did you move on?" You ask, quickly before you could regret it.

"I tried" He says laying his hands beside your denim-covered thighs, "If I'm going to be honest..." He begins to confess, "Nothing worked." He pauses before asking, "Did you?"

"I also tried." You say, leaning forward, your hands now on your lap. "I kissed some guys and there was..." You hesitate, "Another guy, he-"

"Who?" Billy asks quickly.

"James"

"My best friend?" He starts and you nod, "Fucked you?" Billy murmurs and you laugh out loud.

"Yeah, when I was pretty drunk... Well... He was pretty high too, to be honest. It was..." You start, and Billy waits impatiently for you to continue, "The most disappointing night in my life."

Billy can't help but laugh at your statement, and you smile at him because of his contagious laughter.

"It didn't work, either." You whisper, and he looks down at you, calmer.

Billy leans closer to you, and your hands go to his shoulders, bringing him close to you. You close the space between you and your lips touch. Billy's hands go to your hips, and he pulls you closer to him, making your bodies appear glued.

You pull away after some seconds and hold Billy's face with both of your hands.

"I still love you... So much" Billy says, and you smile at him before pecking his lips.

"I still love you too." You confess.

"So we're back?" Billy asks you, and you giggle at him.

"Yes, Billy. We're back together." You say and Billy reconnects your lips right away.

- - - - -

🌸✨Sorry, but I’m not writing in this account anymore. Go check out my new one @twinklelilstarkey✨🌸

[browneyedmissy]

JV: Childhood Part II

Summary: Her brother was off at college. She had to take care of her siblings. When her schoolwork struggles as a result, she made a friend who only made things more complicated.

Part one here

Author's Note: I actually had this written up already and was supposed to be part of the first half but I somehow wrote too much and Tumblr wouldn't let me post it all at once.

High school took a sharp turn for her.

Without Avi, Jackie was taking care of her siblings more while her parents were at work. She would walk directly from her school when the bell rang to her siblings' schools and then make them a snack when they got home. She was able to start her homework a bit before dinner and she would work some more afterwards to keep up.

There were days where she found herself deeply envious of her classmates. Most of them were involved in clubs after school and sometimes she longed for the normalcy. But that feeling was squelched when she got to school and saw her siblings run up to her with bright eyes and full of love.

She found a deep level of interest in biology and was able to keep up until her junior year when the workload she had in addition to her responsibilities at home began to take a toll on her.

When her parents came home and she wanted to mention something to them about taking less responsibility, she stopped when she saw the weariness in their eyes. She had watched what it was like for them as Indian immigrants who spoke perfect English but with a heavy accent to live in the United States. Sometimes while they were out, the people they interacted would not understand them and she would see her mother hesitate just a fraction of a second and before her mother could turn to her, Jackie would step up.

They had tried for years to open up the store they had back up but after all of the costs, even their combined salary had made it hard to save for what they needed to start it up again.

"We're lucky we have you, beta." Her mother had said with a murmur, smoothing the top of her head.

She would nod and feel the burning of guilt she had of being a normal high school student.

Her grades started slipping and when she saw the C on her math examination, she felt her cheeks burn especially when she noticed that her classmates on either side of her had gotten a B+ and an A-. She suddenly felt like she was an imposter, masquerading as a smart person and that someone was going to come in and kick her out of class at any moment.

"How did you learn how to do those word problems?" Jackie asked the classmate on the left. What was her name again?

"My mom has been helping me. I didn't get them at first and I know most of our classmates have tutors. I can help you after school, if you'd like." She said with a smile.

"I have to take care of my siblings." Jackie said with a grimace.

"Dev and Anika, right? My mom's one of the teachers in the elementary school and Dev was one of her students last year."

She blinked at the girl. How did she know that when this was the first time Jackie had talked to her? "Uhh yeah, I…"

"You don't know my name, do you?" The girl quirked an eyebrow at her. "We've been in classes together since freshman year."

Jackie had the decency to feel embarrassed as she shook her head.

"Alexa Chan." She laughed good naturedly and stuck out her hand. Jackie shook it.

"Jackie Varma."

Alexa gave her a grin. "I know. How about I come home with you and we can work on the homework together?"

-

Her siblings adored Alexa.

The first thing she did when she met them at the school was bend at the knees a little so that she could look them straight in the eye when she shook their hand. Dev's eyes had widened a little and he puffed up his chest as if he was full grown. When Ani asked if she was coming over, Alexa had nodded, telling her that she needed to tell her mom first.

Their eyes had been wide as saucers when they figured out who her mom was.

They had gone to school the next day to tell everyone who would listen that Mrs. Chan's daughter was friends with their sister and she was over at their house.

Her parents liked her as well. She was extended a dinner invitation often and her parents were happy she had found a friend who was smart and capable.

Alexa started coming over twice a week when she didn't have swim practice to help Jackie with math. In return, Jackie helped her memorize her science flashcards.

Alexa wanted to be an engineer, Jackie learned. She was good at math because her mother had taught her how to understand it since she was a kid and she liked looking for patterns. She was an only child so she liked being around her mother's students and around her siblings.

And she was so pretty. Jackie couldn't help but notice her soft her hair looked and how kind and genuine her smile was. Sometimes at night, she had dreams where they were walking down the street, holding hands and no one did a double take when she leaned over and pressed a kiss on Alexa's lips.

She shook her head. Alexa was the only friend she had made in years and she couldn't jeopardize it over a crush.

It wasn't as if she hadn't had crushes before. But she kept her feelings close to her chest, especially when she realized that she might like girls as well. Or prefer girls. The sexuality thing freaked her out because the last thing she needed was for people to stare at her for being Indian and gay.

"Hey, do you want to come watch me swim on Friday? I'm going to be swimming with the varsity team." Alexa said excitedly.

"Yeah, Avi just came home so I can ask him to watch my siblings."

"Ooh yay!" Alexa gave Jackie a hug and pulled back with a horrified expression. "Sorry, I don't think I've ever hugged you before."

Jackie felt her cheeks burning. "We're good."

-

"Avi, I need you to watch Dev and Anika after school on Friday." Jackie said as she got home that day, her two siblings in tow. "My friend is competing in a swim meet."

Avi raised an eyebrow as he looked at her. "You have a friend, behan?"

"Haha." She rolled her eyes. Her brother stared at her before his face broke into a grin.

"You look happy, Jaks." He observed. "Is this friend actually a friend or do you have a paramour, little sister?"

"My friend's name is Alexa." She said, avoiding the subject.

He didn't skip a beat. "She can be your paramour too."

Jackie blinked as she looked at her brother whose face had become very serious.

"I-" She glanced at their siblings who were out of earshot coloring at the table. "I might like her Avi. But she's also the first friend I've made in a long time."

"If you're willing to let her in, then it might be worth exploring."

-

Jackie took a seat in the bleachers, a book perched on her lap and sunglasses on. She could see the girls warming up on the other side of the pool and Alexa grinned and waved when she saw her. She said something to her teammates and walked over her direction and Jackie felt her heart pounding.

"You came! I'm so excited, Coach says I might have a chance at winning first for the butterfly heat." Alexa said brightly. "I'm up against one of the best swimmers, but I've been training hard."

"Good luck." Jackie offered a smile. Alexa offered one in return before heading back to her team.

The swim meet began and Jackie watched as people swam back and forth in the pool. Her eyes were trained to follow Alexa when she swam, the graceful arch of her legs as she jumped off the block and the way her arms moved through the water effortlessly.

Finally, it was time for the event that Alexa was most excited about. As she stepped up to the block, Jackie felt her heart pounding.

"You got this Alexa!" She shouted. Alexa looked up in surprise and smiled back before getting refocused on the pool.

Her opponent pulled ahead of her the first two laps but Jackie noticed she wasn't keeping up the quick pace. Alexa on the other hand had paced herself and was closing ranks. The last lap they were swimming in tandem and as they reached the wall, Alexa pulled slightly ahead and-

"The winner of the heat is Alexa Chan, by 0.02 seconds!"

"Yes!" Jackie shouted in triumph. She ignored the glances she got from the people around her as she ran over to Alexa who threw her arms out for a hug, her eyes bright.

And as Alexa threw her arms around her, without thinking, Jackie pressed her lips against hers. They were soft and she smelled a little like chlorine as she moved her hands to tangle into Alexa's hair-

Jackie didn't notice the stares until she pulled away from Alexa who had a surprised but pleased look on her face. She pulled back and glanced around as people turned and whispered and suddenly, she felt like she was back in 5th grade, introducing herself to her classmates as Jackie Varma.

"Jackie-"

Without giving her a chance to say anything else Jackie turned and fled.

-

She threw herself into her bedroom, rushing past Avi as she reached home. She ignored him calling her name and she threw herself into her bed facedown.

There was a knock on the door.

"Go away."

"Jaks, your friend Alexa called my phone and wants to speak to you."

"I'm not here."

There was a moment of hesitation before Avi said something Jackie couldn't quite make out.

"Okay, I told her you would call later. Can I come in now?"

"Fine." She said muffled into her pillows.

Her brother opened the door.

"What happened?" He asked, leaning against the doorframe.

"Nothing you would understand."

"Behan, I think I of all people would understand."

"No, you won't! You don't live at home anymore, Ani! You don't know what I'm going through and it's easy when you don't have to be around people who know and judge you anymore!"

A terse silence passed. "Do you hate me for leaving? I had to. You'll understand one day. I don't know what you're going through with your friend Alexa, but-"

"I don't want to talk about it! I'm already stared at because we're Indian and I kept my head down through that. I want people to stop staring at me and why can't I just be normal?"

Her voice broke on a sob. Avi sighed and walked over to put a hand on her head.

"Jackie…"

"Don't touch me!" Jackie jumped back and glared at her brother. "Just leave! You're going back to school soon anyways, just- go."

-

She kept her head down for the next few days. Avi had gone back to school and things were sort of back to normal. Alexa had tried to talk to her during class, find her at lunch and after school but Jackie had just stayed silent, staring at the board until Alexa had given up.

Jackie sighed. She missed her best friend but already there were rumors going around the school. They were nosy and Jackie wanted them out of her face.

"You've been avoiding me." Jackie had opened the door to see Alexa standing in front later that day. "Can we talk?"

"Shouldn't you be at swim practice?"

"So you can try to avoid me again? I knew you were keeping track of my schedule. I skipped it. I figured this was kinda important."

"Alexa!" Dev said excitedly when he heard her voice. He moved past Jackie to grab her hand and pull her into the kitchen. "I made a drawing of you and sissy."

Her mouth twitched as she saw the colored drawing. She held it up and Jackie saw two girls, holding hands. Jackie felt her chest tighten.

"Why are they holding hands, Dev?" Jackie choked out.

"They're best friends and they love each other." He said as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"I-"

"Dev, can you take Ani to the backyard for a bit so your sister and I can talk?" Alexa said softly. "Thank you for the drawing."

He nodded and took Ani outside. When the door closed, she turned back to Jackie.

"Alexa, when I kissed you…" Jackie stammered.

"I wasn't expecting it." Alexa interrupted with a smile. "But I didn't not like it. But you just ran off before I could say anything."

Jackie stared at the girl in front of her.

"I do like you." Alexa said with a shrug. "I don't know what my sexuality is. Still figuring that out. But I do know that you're smart and pretty and my best friend. And I liked kissing you."

"People saw me kiss you." Jackie's face paled.

"Let them talk."

"How are you so casual about this?" Jackie said weakly. "People are going to stare at us. It'll be just like when I was in 5th grade-"

"Jackie. People are going to talk and stare no matter what. We're different from them. Not just because of that kiss but because we're not white."

Jackie felt nausea coming back up. "I can't have people stare. I won't have it. I can't be seen with you."

Her friend blinked and gave her a sad look.

"Okay. I'm not going to fight you on this, Jackie. I know you better than to try that. I'll keep my distance. But… let me know if you need anything."

As Alexa closed the door, Jackie could feel her heart shattering.

-

Her grades dipped again afterwards. Alexa had been a huge help with her siblings and it was hard to concentrate, especially in math when she still sat next to her.

She started feeling angry. She was angry that she was in charge of her siblings in the first place which led her to meeting Alexa.

She was angry at herself for being a coward and not being able to take people staring at her.

"Jackie, I want to talk to you." Her science teacher stopped her one day after class. Jackie dropped her bag on the ground with a huff. "Is everything okay? Your grades are dropping in my class."

"Yup. Fine. Can I go now?"

"Jackie."

"I don't know what you want me to say Ms. Torres. I have to take care of my siblings after school because the program only lasts until 3:30 for them. My parents can't afford to put them anywhere so I have to help out. So why should I give a damn?” Jackie said angrily. “I can't do anything about it, my siblings need me. And people stare at me because I'm different but I can't do anything about it!"

“You’ve been dealt a crappy hand.” Her teacher said with a critical eye before gesturing at a desk in front of her. Jackie gave a huff before sitting down at the desk and crossing her arms. “It sucks that what you want and what your parents want for you is not the same because that puts you at a disadvantage especially against all of your classmates whose parents can do things like afford tutors and know how to get their classmates into college.”

“It’s not fair.”

The words left her mouth before she could swallow them down to join resentment buried deep down in her heart.

“I know.”

Jackie uncrossed her arms, feeling herself deflate. All the anger that she felt mixed with the exhaustion and sadness that she had felt ever since she had realized how much the world hated her when she was nine and she was left just feeling tired.

“Neither of my parents went to college and they both worked full time jobs. And I was expected to take care of my siblings on top of going to school especially as I got older. I did well enough until I got to junior high and all of my classmates started doing things like going to camp and getting tutors to help them get ahead. All of a sudden, I was the Latina girl who was struggling to compete because they had all these advantages.”

"Exactly. If it's not fair, why should I try?"

Ms. Torres observed her quietly for a moment. "Your brother said the same thing."

"Avi?"

"He was one of my first students. He gave me trouble most of the year and then he and I talked just like you did. He told me that you were going to go do advanced classes in junior high and he felt like he missed out on his chance because he had to take care of you and your siblings."

"I didn't know."

"Because he cared about you and Dev and Anika more than anyone. And he got himself together when he realized he wanted to make sure you did more with your life."

Jackie brought her sleeve to her face and it came back wet.

-

"Behan?"

"Hey, Avi. I miss you. And I'm sorry."

He gave a chuckle over the phone. "I wish I had recorded that so I could play it back to you whenever I needed it."

"I kissed Alexa. I might be gay. I don't know. I don't want to label it right now."

"And you don't have to. You do not have to tell anyone, unless you want to, Jaks."

"I want to go to college." Her voice trembled. "I want to be a doctor. I love science and I'm good at it."

"You go do that then." He said firmly.

"Dev and Anika-"

"Will be fine. Mom and Dad will figure it out. You need to make sure you take care of you too."

"Okay. I love you, bhai."