#I didn't get to keep the piece of my skull they took out Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[silverior968]

Having a fucked up cerebellum that doesn't fit into your skull and requires a brain surgery / duraplasty has its perks, actually: I got to go watch FNAF with a friend and some snacks for free thanks to the finnish chiari and syringomyelia union. I really enjoyed the movie!

[ink-n-shadow]

[ GONE BAD ] 𝜗𝜚 the one where you meet mafia!ghost

𝜗𝜚 pairing: mafia!Simon "Ghost" Riley x police officer's daughter!reader 𝜗𝜚 cw: alternative universe, mentions of police, tw! for creepy guy, allusion to dark!ghost (only if you squint) 𝜗𝜚 note: new au, new ideas (don't hesitate to send me requests :3)

⤷ ever since you were a little kid, your dad was a member of the police force in manchester. you were a daddy’s girl through and through. hell, you wanted to be just like him when you were little—catching bad guys and keeping people safe. 

⤷ but something shifted when you were a teenager—and suddenly, the daddy’s good little girl was gone. you were sneaking out, partying with friends, skipping school to go smoke cigarettes underneath the crumbling cobblestone bridge by your secondary school. 

⤷ it only got worse once you graduated and enrolled in university. this time, though, you weren’t under your father’s thumb anymore. you were in your flat, with your own roommates, doing whatever you wanted to do. that’s how you found yourself in some dingy new pub that opened up in the city. 

⤷ you had dipped outside of the pub for a quick cigarette, stepping into a dimly lit alleyway and leaning against the cobbled wall to puff away at the tobacco stick. it was almost peaceful—that was until a group of drunken men stumbled by and one of them took a liking to you. 

⤷ “aye, pretty thing. y’look lonely standing there all by yourself. mind if i join you? take a little puff of that cig?”

⤷ you tried to come up with some sort of excuse, eyes frantically searching for a way out—but the alleyway you were in was a dead end. the lit cigarette fell from your trembling hand, rolling across the wet asphalt. you thought you were goner until you heard an exit door from the pub behind you screech open, a hard voice rumbling like a thunder storm. 

⤷ “what the fuck’s goin’ on out here? you botherin’ this girl, eh? at my fuckin’ pub? get the fuck out of here before i bury you underneath the concrete you're standin' on.”

⤷ you caught your breath as the man harassing you scrambled off quickly, turning your head to see who the gravelly voice belonged to. he was a looming figure, dressed in a steam-pressed three piece suit and tie along with shiny leather oxfords. his fingers were covered in tattoos and rings, his neck adorning two thick silver chains. His face, however, was obscured by a black mask with a slick skull face attached to the front. he looked menacing. the gun holstered to his hip didn’t help. 

⤷ “you didn’t have to—”

⤷ “don’t sit there and tell me you would’ve handled it. that fucker would’ve torn you to bits if i hadn’t stepped in, lovie. too prideful to say thank you?”

⤷ having lived in manchester all your life, having listened to your father’s rants about the organized crime running rampant in the streets, you knew exactly who the man in front of you that night was: ghost, the faceless leader of the organized crime syndicate which ran manchester under an iron fist. you should’ve expected him to be here—this was his pub, after all. 

⤷ you couldn't speak, but that was alright. ghost didn't mind—he was used to people keeping queit about him. that's why he felt so comfortable leaning against the wall of the alleyway, balancing a cigarette between his lips and igniting the paper.

⤷ "next time you're at my pub, make sure you stay with a friend. pretty little things like you have a tendency to get snatched up right quick out here. can't guarantee i'll be here to save you next time, lovie."

⤷ but after that night, ghost seemed to always be there to save the day. your car breaks down on the side of the road during rush hour traffic? ghost's suv just so happens to pull up behind you. you get a little too drunk out at his pub one night? ghost has one of his men drive you and your friends home. you know deep down that it's way past just coincidences now—but that added to the thrill of it, to the taboo nature of it all.

⤷ other than that, ghost might as well have been a figment of your imagination. he never gave you a phone number, never told you an address, never really stuck around much after helping you out time after time. he was almost unreal until he came out from the shadows. it took almost an entire year before ghost finally asked you to get drinks with him.

⤷ "c'mon—you gotta say yes. y'know how rare it is for me to ask a girl for drinks? usually, the girls come crawlin' to me. not you, though. that's what i like about you, lovie."

[kaylinlmfao]

Okay so you know the Dark!Ethan Landry x Fem!reader where he finds out she pregnant, can you do a part to if it?

the abortion (2/3)

type of piece(s): imagine, oneshot, drabble, series

type(s) of writing: smut, angst, fluff, dark, suggestive

warning(s): smut, rough angry smut, sub space, orgasm denial/control, overstimulation, breeding, pregnancy, ownership kink, dom ethan being a cocky tease, choking, slapping, bondage, just really dirty and nasty in general, RAPE/NON CON, degradation, ethan is super experienced like a fuckboy

pairing(s): dom!ghostface!dark!toxic!ethan landry x sub!shy!reader

A/N: thank you guys so much for all the requests that have been coming in! please, keep em coming. any idea you have, no matter how dark it is, I'll write it. but just know, I'm mainly into writing for ethan (or tara and sam) and the sturniolo triplets so if you request someone or something not those people, it might take me a little bit longer to get to them but they will be written. it'll just take a bit longer. but keep the requests coming, I love them! reblogs are much appreciated but please don't repost my original work on other platforms without giving credit! I might do another part to this but idk yet. enjoy!

I bang and pound on his back as i scream for him to put me down. "ethan! put me down right now! I don't want to "try again" you idiot! I didn't want a baby in the first place! we're only teenagers. you fucking-" he cuts off my screams by slamming me on the bed, hand gripping your throat. "fucking what, y/n? hm?" my vision was hazy as I stared into his dark eyes. "bitch" I say, spitting in his face and then starting to kick and fight him to get him off of me. I felt his leg buckle as I kicked his kneecap and I took the opportunity to roll off the bed and run to the door. as I were running, he grabbed my ankle, pulling hard causing me to fall. I let out a cry of pain and he stood and walked over to me.

"sweetheart, I want a baby so we can be together forever. what don't you understand?" "I understand that you are a demented motherfucker who deserves nothing in life." "you're making this much more difficult than it needs to be, princess. I was gonna fuck you slow and romantic on the nice soft mattress, but you pissed me off. so now you get a rough hard fuck on the floor. we could've prevented all of this if you would just listen to me" he told me, looking at me in a way that made me almost forget what he was gonna fuck me for.

i back away as he pulled his belt off with one hand, knowing what was coming. "give me your wrists now, y/n" "no! fuck you!" i shout. "what did I say? you're just making me angrier." he grabs both my wrists in one veiny ring clad hand and wraps the belt in sort of a handcuffs thing. "get off of me ethan please. we can't raise a child." he ignores me as he begins to pull my shorts off. I whimper when I see him pull a knife out of his pocket. "ethan please" "you begging just makes me wanna stuff you with my cum even more sweetheart" i hold back a moan at his words as he cuts my shirt, bra, and panties off, laughing at the goosebumps that cover my skin at his touch.

he immediately takes one of my nipples into his mouth and starts roughly sucking and biting it. I barely hold back a moan as he travels down toward my navel and then past, to where I need him most. he chuckles lowly when he sees how wet i am. "oh princess. you're soaked. do you need me that bad? you're awful wet for someone who doesn't want this." "I don't want you ethan" "so you don't want me to do this?" he asks. I gasp as his lips meet my clit and my eyes nearly roll back into my skull as I feel a rush of pleasure.

"or this?" my clit is sucked into his mouth and I make a pornographic sound I've never heard before. "how about this, mhm?" I shake uncontrollably as he sucks hard on my clit, flicking his tongue rapidly back and forth as I get closer to the edge. he plunges his tongue deep into my pussy, in and out so fast that I can't see. right as I'm about to fall over the edge, he pulls his tongue out and backs away. I let out a loud sob as tears slip down my cheeks from being so close to my orgasm and then getting it snatched away. "oh poor baby. don't worry, I'm gonna fuck you. I'll fill my cock in you so deep you won't be able to breathe. you won't be able to do anything but scream and take what I give you. and you'll love it."

"please! please!" he tears his shirt off and I stare at his muscular upper body while he takes his pants off. I see his dick flap up and hit his stomach. I forgot how big and wide he was. at the sight of his cock and the way my pussy was throbbing so hard I almost was crying, every rational thought flew straight out of my head and all I could think of was getting his dick inside of me. "I fucking-" i scream in pleasure as ethan pushes his entire length into my pussy in one thrust. he's pounding into me so fast and I have no time to adjust, it burns. but I fucking love it.

ethan lifts my legs over his shoulders and now the deeper angle he is at he's hitting my g-spot with every thrust. my breaths keep getting caught in my throat. "ethan. please. slow. down." I make out. "oh no, I'm keeping my promise. fucking you so hard you can't breathe and then filling you up so deep with my cum that your little tummy is bloated." I scream as I cum hard from his harsh thrusts and dirty words as he pinches and slaps my tits. he flips me over onto my stomach and re-enters me so quickly I didn't even have a chance to take a breath before he's pounding into me again, his tip kissing my cervix. he's slapping and gripping my ass hard. "please!" I babble, waving my hands around, needing something to hold onto to keep me from passing out. my back is arching so far as he pulls me up so my back is against his chest.

I'm about to cum again when I feel his hand wrap around my throat as he squeezes hard, leaving me with no oxegen as I cum hard again, creaming and clenching around his dick. he flips me back over onto my back again and continues thrusting. I'm sobbing, tears and mascara running down my face as I moan and babble incoherently from the lack of oxegen and the overstimulation. "who's the bitch? any other insults? I can't hear you. use your words princess" he knows you can't. he knows damn well that there isn't a thought in your head except for him.

he's pressing hard on my stomach which is exactly where I feel him. my body tightens and I come again. but this time, I can't stop cumming. and he won't stop thrusting. he needs to stop because I can't breathe and I'm gonna have a heart attack. "please slow" "you can give one more" little does he know I'm still cumming from the last one. he finally slows his thrusts, just a little bit, but enough that I have a second to breathe and stop creaming his dick.

but then he starts pounding harder than he has this entire time. I'm on my back with my arms above my head, my fists clenching and unclenching trying to find something to hold onto as they're still tied. he pinches my clit one more time hard as I squirt around his dick. he thrusts a few more times before he let's out a groan and fills up my tummy with his cum. I take deep breaths as he pulls out of me, carefully making sure all his cum stays inside my fluttering and abused cunt, which is still clenching around nothing.

I lay there as he stares at me with dark proud eyes. my hair is tangled and stuck to my forehead from the sweat. my lips are swollen and my eyes are bright red from crying. my cheeks are red and tear and mascara streaks are running down them. my tits and neck are red and purple from his abuse and the hickeys. my chest is heaving and my thighs are shaking. I can't even imagine how my ass and thighs look from the way he was spanking me and gripping me. but he doesn't care. he just looks at me with possessive eyes as he goes to run a bath and put his clothes on. he comes out of the bathroom, fully clothed as he unties my wrists. ethan helps me stand and climb into the bathtub before gripping my chin and turning my face to look at his.

"if you aren't pregnant, its ok. we'll have sex until you are. but if you are pregnant and you abort my child again, it will be worse than this. do you understand me, princess?" I nod my head slowly, maintaining eye contact. "good girl" he turns and leaves my dorm, leaving me bruised and exhausted in the bathtub with a thousand thoughts running through my head. the first being, where can I get another abortion pill? I'll be gone before he can do anything to me, but I will not have a child with ethan landry.

1.5k words (I went way overboard)

@onedayatatime6 @ilovechickenwings @tommysaxes @layla29sworld @misscaller06

I hope you guys liked it! I went a little overboard I think and I don't really love it but this is how most of my smut will be so I'm sorry if it was too much for y'all! keep those request coming please! expect more fics with ethan and the sturniolo's (mostly dark smut) coming tonight! i am also working on a chris sturniolo ghostface fic (smut), matt sturniolo ghostface (smut), and one with all three of them (suggestive). comment on this post if you want to be apart of my tagslist for my future fics! thanks! ;) -kaylin

[ravenmichaelisstuff]

Soap keeps the skull balaclava from the Ghost Team.

Soap and Ghost were sent on a mission, quick in and out. Everything went to plan except for one thing. Ghost came back to their assigned car without his mask- instead, his face below the nose was covered with a dirty rag. He looked furious.

"Where is yer..." Soap waved his hand before his face.

"Torn to shit." He tossed the skull front of his mask to Soap, balaclava not attached. Soap managed to gracefully catch it.

"But ye are all right?" Johnny scanned Ghost for any injuries. He didn't find any, but he could see the tension in Ghost's moves.

"Peachy sergeant, now get in the car. We need to get to the safe house."

Soap decided not to pry and got in the car.

***

Soap looked at Simon the whole ride. Not because he was exploiting the fact that Ghost had a lot of his pretty face showing, but because he was worried. Their usual car rides since the eventful ride from Las Almas were filled with Soap's banter and Ghost's dry dad jokes. Now Soap was convinced he was going to be decapitated the second he would make any noise with how pissed Ghost looked.

"Do you have a problem, MacTavish?" He growled out. Turns out looking at him wasn't his best idea either.

"Ye should take that stinky rag off your face Lt."

"I won't be showing you my face."

"First of all, I have seen it already. Two, it's not even about that. This looks lik' ye pulled it from the devil's bahookie crack, I can smell it here and you have it in yer face." 

Ghost looked like he was considering Soap's words. "It does rake." He responded finally.

"Well then, take it off!" He flung his arms.

Ghost's grip on the steering wheel tightened. "I can't."

"Come on, Lt. me seeing your face can't be that bad-"

"It's not even about you, Johnny." Ghost interrupted, looking resigned. "I don't mind." 

Soap was confused. "Then why...?"

"I don't mind you looking. Everyone else is a different story. I am a different story."

"Oh." That wasn't the response Soap expected. He felt warmth dripping down his neck. The Scotsman immediately softened. 

"Yeah, "oh"." Ghost's voice was raspy.

"But now there is only me, Simon."

"You, me, and the rear-view mirror. And we will be at the safe house with others in 30 minutes. I can't have them look at me." Ghost was whispering. He looked focused on the road, but Soap saw the nervous tapping of his gloved hands on the wheel.

"Tis' that bad, huh?" Soap pondered. No pity or mockery behind it. Ghost just nodded slightly.

They drove like that for a while, when suddenly Soap lit up and started patting around his tactical vest's pockets. "Ha! Knew I brought it!" 

Ghost looked at him from the corner of his eye. He saw Soap holding out a balaclava to him, the exact same one he gave him months ago. Ghost was so dumbfounded that Soap had to grab the steering wheel to prevent them from crushing.

"Simon!" He regained his focus on the road and took the peace of fabric from Soap, placing it on his legs.

"You kept it."

"Yep, so now ye have something to wear."

"Why did you keep it?"

"Don't know honestly, felt important, lucky even."

"Really?"

"Yeah, whenever you are with me I make it out in one piece. Bringing the balaclava gives me at least a feeling of you covering my six, ye know?"

Ghost was probably too overwhelmed to process all this information, so he just pulled over and switched the rag with the clean balaclava.

On the next mission, everyone has a spare balaclava. Ghost knew it was Soap's doing and he fell for him even harder.

I just wrote what I had sitting on my mind, hope someone enjoyes it <3 I love all the feedback and I have so much fun in this community.

[delopsia]

I just finished reading Flowers in November, it was amazing!! These were some of my fav parts

Part 1: "Thank you for doin' this," he says, after a while, "I don't think anyone's ever actually..."

Rhett thanking the reader for helping him with his wound and saying no one’s ever done that for him before even though he gets hurt often was heartbreaking.

It was really sweet that Rhett stepped to the side when him and Royal start yelling so that it was led away from the reader.

Rhett reorganizing the house when he’s drunk is so cute!

I love the details that emphasize it’s a different world!(Cows with gold horns, circle pizzas, “mash two potatoes with one fork”).

“That’s it, he coos, voice vibrating against your swollen clit, “pull on my hair while I eat this perfect little pussy of yours.”

"R-Rhett—" struggling to formulate words, "'m close."

"I know," grinning, he doesn't stop what he's doing, loudly slurping at your cunt, "come on, darlin', cum on my tongue for me."

The dirty talk had me sweating 😅

I love that they were both nervous that the hole was gonna open up and it’d be the last time they see each other.

“Someone’s been in here.”

Behind you, Rhett stiffens, gently taking hold of your waist and pulling you back onto the porch. Eyes wide, flickering between you and the wide open door, "what do you mean?" I love that rhett is so protective even though he just met the reader

Part 2

I love how grateful rhett is and that he always compliments the readers cooking even in the beginning when it doesn’t taste too good lol.

rhett comforting reader when they’re crying after they have a dream about their mom was too sweet! 🥹

Also rhett trying to put a bow on nyx was so adorable.

"I don't...nobody's ever...done anything like this for me before." That part was really sad and made me want to kiss him all over his face 😭

It made me happy that the Reader started bringing breakfast to him once or twice a week. And the one time she fed it to him made my heart melt!

So did them splitting the pieces of bacon, something about sharing food is so intimate!

It broke my heart when rhett got jumped by the tillersons (especially since it was Perry’s fault) but I’m glad reader helped take care of him and he’s healing now. It brought tears to my eyes when it mentioned how he spooks easier now.

(1/2)

Oh my goodness, thank you SO much for this 😭💐haha, I didn't think folks even read the old Flowers In November series any more! It was so cool to see all of your thoughts and favorite lines, Rhett's little protective streak, the cooking, the mundane comforts of being around him, the stuffed animal, Nyx the kelpie. I can't believe I forgot about all of this 🥹

It took me forever to figure out how to format this 😔✌ but I've tucked the other half of your ask underneath the 'Keep reading' button!

Part 3

‘A sharp, earsplitting crack rings out, a heavy, elephant-sized fist hitting the ground.’

"It's okay, it's okay," you don't realize you've jumped until Rhett's pulling you down from it, bringing you impossibly closer, "I've got you, baby."

Rhett comforting the reader and holding them close before they were even officially together was just *chef’s kiss* 😚

Rhett punching perry for disrespecting the reader was so sexy

Hearing the backstory of perry and Rebecca damn perry is fr a villain

"You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me," and when he says your name at the end of the sentence, it sounds like a melody. "Y'know that?"

‘Through the conflict of your heart, split between worlds, you find yourself in silent agreement.’

‘Cupping his cheeks, you squish them together, wrenching an amused chuckle from him, "sometimes, I don't believe you're real."

This part is so soft and sweet it has me so 🥰

"This what you wanted?" His deep voice rumbles against your scalp, rattling around your skull. Why does something so simple turn me on so much?’

Feeling him speaking against my head would fix me

"Fuck," leaning down, he presses a kiss to your upper chest, just above your cleavage, "fuck, you're beautiful."

"Has anyone told you how perfect you are?"

"Could fuckin' die happy between these pretty legs of yours," speaking directly into your wetness, vibrating deliciously up your core, "y'know how long I've thought 'bout this?"

"You like my finger, darlin'?" Adding another finger to join the first, working you, "God, you're takin' them so well for me."

The dirty talk along with Rhett’s arms trembling when he first slides into the reader had me foaming at the mouth 🤤

"Like a fuckin' daydream on top of me," he says against your lips, "y'know that?" The way he looks up at you tells you that he means every word. Smitten.’ Please rhett saying all these sweet things is a NEED not a want

"Stretchin' for me so well, darlin'," the squelch of your wetness is filthy, "god damn, your hot little cunt is so wet."

"Sweetie, please," pleading around a shaky breath, "want—wanna cum."

"Baby, baby," those eyes barely open, breath hitching, "feels good. Fuck, it feels good."

"You're so sensitive," cooing as you feel his thighs tremble beneath you, "you gonna cum in me, sweet boy?"

Rhett’s eyes crossing when he came cause it felt so good has forever changed me, I will be thinking about it several times a day for the rest of my life 🥵

Part 4

"Is this your stuffed animal?" You ask when he steps into the room.’

Rhett grins at the sight of the old thing, "yeah, that's Toast."

The name fits the little guy perfectly. A light brown body with dark brown feet and a spot on his left eye. Visibly loved, its fur matted and missing in places.’

"I almost feel bad for defiling his home like we did," every time you look at this little twin bed, you remember that night, especially what happened the morning after.’

‘There's no need for you to look to know that Rhett's cheeks are heating up; you can feel it radiating off of him in waves. Arms wind around your waist, burying his hot face into the back of your neck.’

I always love a fic where rhett blushes, he’s just a cute, bashful cowboy ☺️

And it’s so precious to think about little rhett sleeping with a stuffie when he was younger and getting so attached to it that he keeps it 🥹🥰

Him turning toast around when he gets a blowjob, he is too cute for words to describe!

‘Here he is. Your big cowboy whimpering into his own palm as you suck him off in his childhood bedroom. Helpless to do nothing but take it.’

Him going from just previously being shy about the night you had sex in his twin-size bed to covering his mouth with his palm to prevent moaning like a little slut had me dizzy and panting 😮‍💨😵‍💫

I loved how rhett made the reader breakfast even though he’s not the best cook. It melted my heart!

"I can't imagine a day in my life without you," his voice breaks, gradually becoming watery, "and I promise you that as long as my heart's still beatin', I'm gonna be there." With every word, he shakes a little harder, trembling just like your quivering heart is.’

Pushing your noses together, those final words tumble off his tongue, "I love you," breath hitching, "and ain't nothin' in this world can get between that."

That was one of my fave parts and it just made what happened next all the more heartbreaking

"Please don't let go of me," quivering like a leaf, you squeeze as close to Rhett as possible.

"'m not gonna let you go," he promises, stepping further down the fence line, away from the hole, "I promise, baby, you're not goin' anywhere."

Please that part was so sweet and heartbreaking. It had me tearing up. It was also so intense and I love that not only rhett tried to save the reader but how Nyx tried to save the reader too and I’m glad that Nyx got to go with the reader and that the reader didn’t have to go into her old world all alone

"You found your necklace," you mutter, turning it around to sit correctly on his neck.’

"I'm glad you weren't there to see me ballin' my damn eyes out over it," but that watery grin tells you that you may witness it anyhow.’

A tear escapes; is quickly wiped away by your ring finger. He catches the glint of the stones in the light, grins, and presses a kiss to it when he finds the chance.’

"I hope you didn't find that stack of letters," you never did finish them, did you?’

"I read every single one," and then Rhett curls his hands around your cheeks, guiding you down to press your foreheads and noses together, "I love you too."

Thinking about rhett finding the necklace and letters and crying just broke my heart but I loved it at the same time!! It was one of the parts that tugged most at my heartstrings!

I love that rhett took toast with him! He’s so adorable!

Them going to go get a bag of concrete mix to cover up the purple flower at the end was so smart!

The epilogue was so funny and cute! I’m so glad they got a happy ending! And were able to play pizza box frisbee together lol 😂

It was such a fantastic series!! 🩷🩷🩷

[autisticblueteam]

Appears from the ether again, after months of only being present enough to fill my queue up, with some WIP snippets from the gen:LOCK re-write I mentioned before...

And also finally adressing these tags lmao, sorry @thesouppond I realise these are like 3 months old.

#FUCK IM JUST SEEING THIS NOW???#FUCK YEAH 2024 SEASON OF EVERYONE GETS TO REWRITE GENLOCK CAUSE FUCK S2#Ahem anyway hi genlock moot :)))#I love your writing btw! Ive read your existing GL fics theyre great!#at this point if someone can give me a GL fic i havent already met I will forever be indebted to you i am DYING for GL content

We're really out here trying our best to do better by GL than HBO did huh!! I've been loving Reloaded, it was so nice to see someone else pop up in the gL tag after it was comparatively dead for so long. I've been working on my re-write since just after s2 came out and it was lonely in there for a while there lmao.

So I'm glad you enjoyed the couple of fics I've already done! I'm re-using parts of one of them for the actual re-write since I'm going for the 'keep the basic bones of s2 but aim to fix the execution into something less shit/re-work the worst bits' and I didn't want to write that first nemesis fight over again from total scratch lmao...

I want to finish writing all of the re-write before I post it in full, but that does mean it's taking forever whoops.

I'm still not past the introduction of Sinclair as his portion is so involved and I keep getting distracted by other projects/hobbies, but I did finally get to a point where my take on Sinclair is actually fun to write! I'm keeping his boyfriend because I did at least like that Sinclair was made canonically queer and they're actually cute when I'm just doing my own thing.

So since I feel like posting some WIP bits, here's my favourite Chris/Sinclair stuff I've done so far.

“YEAH! Take that you fucked up tin can!” Sinclair winced. The shout was like an ice pick being driven into his skull, but it was also what finally drove him to lift his head. There ahead of him, wielding a large piece of debris in one hand, was a heavyset Asian man dressed in torn clothes and covered in grime. He reared back, and for a split second Sinclair thought that projectile was for him, until he heard an impact, and the last of the humming died. The man brushed off his hands, pride written on every feature, and in that moment he was the most beautiful thing Sinclair had ever seen. “Coast’s clear!” the stranger called behind him. There was movement, but Sinclair didn’t care to look, his attention caught by the man’s approach. “And we’ve got a live one.” Sinclair’s throat was so dry he broke down coughing twice, in the time it took the stranger to kneel in front of him. “I-I’m not Union. I-I know— with the uniform, and the—” Another violent burst of coughing cut him off. The stranger handed him a canteen and a crooked smile. “Yeah, no shit. You’ve got way too much emotion on your face to be even a defector,” he said, and if Sinclair wasn’t so busy chugging the offered water, he might have mustered a laugh. “That, plus, the lack of helmet, the collapsing, and the drone getting ready to turn you into a novelty cheese grater kinda gave it away.” “Christ, I could kiss you right now,” Sinclair blurted and then regretted in quick succession. Fuck. He’d been in near solitary too long, his filter had worn away to nothing and he was making a damn fool of himself in front of the first sane people he’d seen in weeks. Except the stranger just… laughed, good-naturedly. “Close, the name’s Chris, not Christ. And I’d say buy me dinner first, but it’s a bit hard out here.”

AND then a little later...

“What about the refugee railroads?” Chris lowered his beer bottle and wiped his mouth. “Too far.” “Vanguard safe crossings?” “Too far.” “The— fucking Canadian border?” Chris laughed, “Too far. Further than either of the other things. Jesus, dude. You sure you haven’t got a concussion?” “Mostly,” Sinclair said, rubbing his face with his intact hand. “I just— you’re going to die if you stay here. A drone only has to get lucky once.” “And if we go deeper in, we’ll only die faster,” Chris said with a simple shrug. “We already have to pack up and move every few weeks when the line moves. And every time, the Polity border gets a little bit further away. Believe me, man, I want nothing more than to get outta here, but it’s just not happening.” “What if I helped?” The offer fell out before he’d consciously decided to make it, but Sinclair stood by it. Even when Chris looked at him dubiously. “No offence, dude, but you’re just one guy. And two days ago you could barely stand.” “And now I’m fine,” Sinclair insisted. “I’m a soldier. I was decorated for valour after I got my squad out of a run-in with the Union that should’ve killed us all. I was the only one who could even still hold a gun. I swear, I could get you somewhere safe. Are you really telling me you’d rather keep sitting around waiting to die than take a risk?” Chris’s brow furrowed, and he didn’t answer immediately, taking another swig from his scratched up bottle of beer. Sinclair sighed. “Look. I need to get to a Vanguard base one way or another. I don’t want to leave you guys behind if I don’t have to. I owe you my life. And maybe dinner.” Chris almost choked on his drink. “Wow,” he laughed, clearing his throat, “you sure pick your moments, huh?” Sinclair shrugged. “Figure if you’re not actually into it I’ll just blame the concussion.” “That you don’t have.” “Exactly.” Chris rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Smooth. Smooth operator. Alright, alright, fine, we’ll talk to the others in the morning. It might be a tougher sell when they’re not the ones getting dinner with a hot soldier out of it, but hey, guess we’ll see.” “Are you looking past the just-got-done-being-tortured chic, here, or is that part of the charm?” “Are you kidding? There’s a whole genre focused on how hot soldier guys look after they’ve been through hell.” “Not sure that’s the intended takeaway of action movies.” “Well,” Chris shrugged, starting to pick at a can of food, “it was definitely my takeaway.” Sinclair laughed. Honest-to-god laughed, in a way he was surprised he was even capable of after the last few weeks. The normality of the moment was like a balm on all the aching parts of him, mental and physical alike. For a moment he could almost forget that the reason he looked like shit was because he’d just escaped the worst experience of his life. For a moment it felt like the fight was over.

Now I just have to actually get through the remainder of my Sinclair set-up and then I'll be only one chapter away from finishing the first half of the fic... so close and yet so far lmao.

[foxgloveinspace]

@thoseeyeslikefire @absentviolet @kyloreno-911

It's another LONG w.i.p. Wednesday! Explanation for why I haven't been making these, I guess:

took a week off in October cause I didn't feel like taking pics, then we had company and I didn't have time to do it, and then I got sick, ugh. But now I'm back and I'm gonna try to do these when I can again, possibly not every week, maybe every other week, cause I want to spend more time reading and writing this month if I can. (it's gonna be my first 'real' NaNoWriMo. Where I have a goal and such).

first off, the confession. I frogged the cardigan part of the og skulls cardigan. I kept looking at it, and looking at it, and I went 'I'm never going to wear this, I'm just doing it, to do it'. It's gone through like, three other iterations that I haven't been talking about cause I was really just trying to figure it out. I've finally found something I'm excited about making, which is a pieced together cardigan of double crochets, where on the right side rows I crochet through the back loop only. I'm feeling very inspired by this, especially since I could work on this even when I was super foggy from having a cold. Sadly, it did not get done in time for Halloween, but also I didn't intend for it to be just for Halloween. Hopefully this is something I'll wear all winter. It's my main w.i.p. rn and I hope to get it finished this week, so I'll post finished pics when I get it done.

and another 'wellllll there was a goof' project, lol. I messed up the left sock of my hocus pocus socks. so I decided to frog it, since then it would be easier to make the heel flap and gusset of the right sock! so! i then paused the first sock until I can catch up on the second sock, and when they are both ready to knit the foot, I'll pick them both up to knit two at a time again. I just haven't been able to knit very much cause of the foggy head from my cold. But! I am really happy with these and hopefully I'll have them done before the end of the year.

I picked back up the pass the honey cardigan! mostly cause it was easy knitting while I was, again, foggy from the cold..... wow. Any way, I know it probably doesn't look like it, but I did get some progress done on it, I think like two or three pattern repeats? I wasn't sure I wanted to continue it, but then I had the thought of 'it looks like dragon scales, not just honey comb' and now I love it lol. It's my dragon scale armor now.

and now! my birthday shawl!! (The Gaia Shawl) I only did the first bit on my birthday cause I was DETERMINED to get it started on the right day. I am loving this yarn and how it's working up, and I am really liking the little bit of the pattern I've worked at well. I'm not worried about how long it takes me cause my birthday shawl last year was being worked well into January. It'll be there when I feel good enough to work on it again. The only problem is that the pattern website keeps freezing.....

small yarn haul time!

the multi colored yarn is from one of my mom's friends actually, she has sheep and she goes through the entire process with it, and I got it from her 'booth' at the Heritage Days festival in Warsaw (which is no where near where I live). I have no idea what I want to make with it?? I'm thinking a hat and some socks maybe? it is a fingering weight yarn. Definitely the hat first, and then if I have enough yarn left over the socks. It's so soft and squishy, and I really love it.

and then the blues are for a project for my sister in law.... she kinda volunteered me for it, but it'll only take me a couple days at most. It's for a pixie from Harry Potter. The yarn is nice and soft, and I guess I'm looking forward to the challenge, but also she's just...... It's complicated.

And that's it from me! Thanks for reading <3

[berri-hopefulspouse]

"I...I won't...forget this- AETHER...!"

(TW Abuse, Wars, Slight Gore?, Alot of Gaslighting)

(Story pieced together from convos with @creamecream! Corrupt AU was her idea, go give follow <3)

Everything was going perfectly. The coalition of Mondstadt and Liyue refugees were dealing with the last of Barbatos' followers, Ren had Venti stuck in the ground with a strong pillar of ice, and Zhongli was standing over him- ready to deal the final blow.

"Everyone- Fall in! We've got him this time!" Ren exclaimed over the roar of violence and bloodshed- ignoring the throbbing in their skull and the pain that radiated from wounds in their body.

Everything was going perfectly to plan.

But then...it wasn't.

Ren's eyes flickered away for a brief moment- glancing over to a noise they heard that sounded so distinctly familiar...a noise that once was comforting to them, now brought a sense of dread as they tried to retain their focus.

"Soren...~" Out of the portal, stepped the Abyss Prince himself, a cheeky little grin on his face, "Be careful~"

"Wha-?"

As they turned to adress him, an arrow shot right past their face- causing their focus to snap. In the blink of an eye, they fell to the floor as Venti broke free from the icy confines and quickly made his escape- a mischevious little giggle under his breath before seemingly zapping right out of reality itself. Well, not before one of Zhongli's polearms rammed into his arm- which when Venti teleported fell back to the ground with an uncerimonial clatter.

The world fell silent, as everyone stood to process what had just occured. Aether slowly walked to the cryo-vision wielder, a satisfied smirk on his face and motioning for one of his men- the one who had shot the arrow- to stand back down.

"Sorry about that...What's a war without a little bit of chaos, my starlight?" Aether couldnt help but chuckle, watching Ren slowly pull themselves to their feet. Ice was beginning to creep up their limbs- and their eyes looked unfocused as they slowly stumbled towards the abyss prince. They looked exhausted- having used so much of their own life-force just to keep the Archon pinned...and he still ended up getting away.

As Aether went to go give a hug to the smaller cryomancer, what he didn't expect was the whiplash and sting of their hand- which collided with his face in quick succession.

"You...You fucking prick!" Ren was seething, anger burning behind their brown eyes as they grabbed his face with an icy, frozen hand, "Do you know what the fuck you've done?! We had him cornered- we had him pinned! And then you come along and just- Just Mess everything up!"

"First...ow..." Aether rubbed his jaw- with the ice creeping up their hands it felt like he had been punched rather than just slapped silly, "Secondly, of course I do. As much as it would benefit me to see the Archon dead...there's still something I need from him first," Aether explained- in that venomously sweet tone he only took when he was trying to pacify them.

It...didn't work.

Their polearm still in hand, they went to swing it at him when an arm caught theirs midair. They quickly looked back to spot Lumine- who in all her grace had never looked this...uncertain before.

"Don't...its not worth it." Lumine whispered softly, golden eyes peering deep into their own. They growled, unable to think clearly through the anger- the fury- the heartbreak.

"Speak for yourself!" They snapped at her, to which she sighed- nodding to Kaeya who quickly grabbed their other shoulder to keep them still.

"Aww~ You do still care Lumine!" Aether beamed, an innocent smile that almost made Lumine hesitate.

Almost.

"No. I don't," Lumine retorted, meeting Aether's gaze with a glare of her own, "I just know that theyre in no state to start another fight right now." 'But...I assume you already know that.' She couldn't help but think to herself, golden eyes gazing back at eachother. There was silence, for a few good minutes, before Aether let out a bark of laughter that could only be described as slightly unhinged.

"That's your own faults you know! It was your precious general, my darling starlight, who wasn't paying attention!"

"You BASTARD!" Ren went to go break free of Kaeya's grip when a pillar caused them to stop in place. Zhongli, who slowly walked over- looking unsteady himself- kept a steely gaze with the Abyss Prince. His tone was cold, precice, yet Ren could pick out the exhaustion in his voice.

"Speak, Prince. Before I cut you down where you stand," The Archon spoke, wiping away a bit of blood from his nose. Aether couldn't help but cackle even more- drawing his sword and gently...ever so gently, tilting the Archon's gaze to meet his.

"Aww, Morax...you sure do look tired, don't you?" The Prince coo'd, faux sympathy dripping from his words, "Could you even take me right now, if we got in a fight? I sincerely doubt it, given your state...~"

"You-!"

Zhongli raised a hand, causing the furious general to still- if only briefly.

"I may be spent, but if I wanted to, I could still dismantle your entire army in one fell swoop...Do you wish to try my patience, little prince?" Zhongli remained calm, even if his voice trembled with the slightest hint of anger. Aether chuckled, knowing just how much his words were getting to the Archon, a sinister yet almost cheeky smirk on his face.

"Hmmm...No, not right now anyway~... if I did- there'd be no one to stand in Barbatos' way! And that's just no fun, is it?" Aether chuckled, "I only came to try and get something off that brat, but since he left, I have no more business here."

As Aether turned to leave, Ren broke past Kaeya and Zhongli, racing after him with an angry shout.

"AETHER-! YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE-!" And before they could reach him- the enby ran directly into a second pillar, courtesy of the Geo Archon. Aether snickered, gazing down upon them as their knees gave out and they fell into the grass...which slowly turned to ice where they sat.

"Aww, don't you worry, little Starlight~ I'll be back for you later!" Aether reached down, gently ruffling their hair as they swatted at him, "But first...you might want to get that checked out."

Gesturing to their vision, Ren looked down with wide eyes to find their vision had...cracked. Cryo magic was expelling itself from the crack, making almost everything they touch turn to ice.

"Toodles~!" Aether spoke, an innocently mischevious look on his face as he quickly stepped back through the portal and left- leaving the army alone once more in the clearing.

Ren gave an aggrivated shout, a hand slamming into the dirt and dark starlit tears staining their cheeks.

"That...that bastard..." They spoke, their anger slowly starting to simmer down into something else....grief. Grief, and...well, exhaustion.

"It's not worth the effort right now, Soren..." Zhongli walked up next to them, putting a hand on their shoulder, "You know this."

"To hell with that!" They spat back, "We were so close! He was right there- he was about to die and Aether just-!"

They gave another little frustrated squeak, before coughing and wiping some of the blood that dripped from their nose...and mouth. Hm...Yeah that...might be bad. They hardly even noticed how dizzy they felt until that moment, looking down to their cracked vision as it sparked aggressively- trying to output magic at a rate their body couldnt keep up with.

"I...I won't...forget this- AETHER...!" Their cry echoed through the clearing as their vision sparked even louder- sending an almost jolt of pain through their body that they could hardly take. They fell back against the ice that surrounded their body and creeped outwards, trying to push themselves back to their feet as Lumine gave a horrified little shriek.

"Medics! W-We need medics here, stat!" Lumine quickly rushed over to Zhongli and Ren, the latter of whom took a knee to steady himself against his own exhaustion. Ren's hands slipped, collapsing back into the ice and snow as they felt the world around them begin to slip away...

The last thing that they could recall, was how utterly cold and alone they felt...as the world spun and faded into black.

[that-darn-clown]

Hi I audio recorded my plot synopsis to dandy and I'm gonna post it here just because it took so long so haha get fucked

Below the cut is my rambling ass plot synopsis of the loa too many games oneshot. Spoilers ahead (obv)

So i'm voice recording this so I hope it turns out right. Basically, the plot of this one shot is that cirque du jolly (jolly is chuckle's ex wife) kidnaps Gideon so they can steal his laughter and use it to keep their carnival in business. Basically keep everyone happy. Anyways, so there's like little kerfuffle at the beginning. Like chuckles won't tell them about the note that was hammered onto their door telling them where gideon went because he doesn't want to see his ex wife.

But they eventually head to cirque du jolly and find at the front that there is a clown, a mechanical clown, that won't let them through without either five hundred gold pieces per person for tickets or a funny story from each of them, making the clown laugh. Torbek just states his life story because he says that him living in a dumpster tends to make people laugh. Chuckles goes on a rant about the horrors of marriage which isn't funny but he thinks it's kinda funny I guess. Kremy tells his famous 3 cocks and a joke story. and frost just fucking says and I quote "there was a kid who ate fire. he died." All of these stories are good enough to get them each a ticket and they head inside.

This is kind of where some misc. Fuckery goes on. The part where kremy understands gideons joke is here. The note that they got at the beginning hammered to the door said that they would have to do the funhouse to get to Gideon.

So they do the funhouse and it's fucking insane like there's a mirror room where only Kremy really knows what's going on because he actually rolls well, like rolls perception well, everyone else is freaking the fuck out they think they are each other, it's wild.

Anyways, they get into this bubble. It's like a big bubble and they can't figure out how to pop it for some fucking reason. They get fae curses whenever they eat 1 of the bubbles that's being blown inside of the bubble and one time chuckles eats one and gets a fucking deck of many things which is a big deal!!! Anyways, he draws a card and it's the motherfucking skull card. Which means he summons a wraith and has to fight it on his own. Everyone else is put in stasis. They can't help, if they do help they would get a wraith of their own and they couldn't do that cause the one shot was like two hours they didn't have the time. Anyways, before this torbek had drawn a fate card which gives you a wish but Torbek's fae curse that he got drastically lowered his intelligence. So he didn't know what the card did. He proceeded to say and I quote "I wish that were me" because there was something about getting sucked and torbeck's real into getting sucked. That's like a big inside joke. Anyways, that was a good thing because chuckles doesn't have any attack spells. So torbek fights and wins against this guy, this wraith. Frost eventually figures out he can puncture the bubble with his claw. Because he's a tiger. He can just do that.

and they get out and they get into a swan boat in the tunnel of love. For a moment here there's a weird thing where I can't remember. Someone thinks that someone is evil. And so there's a whole deal where chuckles has to like. Get them to shut up, like to forget that they ever got the fae curse. I don't know, maybe I'm remembering that wrong. Oh, also, chuckles pulled the sun card at some point. Which levels you up like 50000 experience points. So he's level nine now in a party of level threes holy shit. So they go on this boat in the tunnel of love. They have to roll to see if they're affected by another fae curse. And. And kremy and chuckles are fine but torbek and frost lose the roll. Now earlier torbek's hands had been shrunk. So now he says to frost "You'll notice that my hands are torbek sized now. And that's not the only thing that's torbek sized" So they fuck.

And eventually they make it into the part with the wheel and gideon. And I am voice recording this so I'm sorry if this part gets really weird. 'cause I'm still sad about it. Jolly has shackled Gideon to a wheel. And he's unconscious and she comes down from like the rafters. And. And she talks to chuckles and basically says that she doesn't want to get back together with him. Which is what the party thought she wanted this whole time. But she wants to kill him to use his laughter in place of Gideon's, only if the party can win gideon back. A box of knives appear and jolly states that if they hit Gideon 3 times then they lose him and if they hit the board behind Gideon 4 times then they win him back. Torbek volunteers to throw the knives. He throws one and it plunges into gideons thigh. He throws another and it hits gideon in the ribs. He's bleeding and writhes in pain. He's still unconscious but he can clearly feel it. Hooo boy. Um. Then I believe torbek draws a card. Which I can't quite remember I was crying at this point. I believe torbek draws a card which allows him to gain the like agility or dexterity needed. And he throws four knives at once and each hits the back of the board successfully. Then Gideon's mechanical fake laughter fills the room. And jolly reveals that she was never going to give gideon back.

And then they fucking end the session.

[the-doctor-3000]

𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐝 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 {Doctor Who Fanfic}

Chapter 3: The Forest of Fear

The Doctor was sitting, and muttering furiously as he worked at his bonds. Emma, on the meantime, tried to remain calm as she looked around for anything that could release her and the others from their bonds.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, It’s all my fault. I'm desperately sorry. . . ." said the Doctor.

"Oh, don't blame yourself, Grandfather."

"Even so. . ." Emma started, still looking around. "It happened now. We cannot change that. So instead of apologizing and blaming yourself, I say help us to leave." She noticed something. "Look at those, look at them. . ."

A skull lied next to them with a hole smashed in at the top of its head. Ian noticed it as well and said, "Yes, they're all the same. They've been split wide open. . . ."

Ian started using one of the many small rocks on the floor to try and saw away at Barbara's binds. Susan crawled over to him, carrying another rock. "I've found another piece with a rough edge. . ."

He eased off with a sigh of relief and took the rock. "Oh, thank you." He tried it on Barbara's bonds, then groaned and tossed it aside. "Oh, it's no good! It keeps crumbling. . ."

"Oh, it's hopeless. Hopeless. Even if we do get free, we shall never move that stone."

Emma remained quiet for a couple of minutes before she realized something. "Where. . . There's air coming in here from somewhere."

Ian took her words into account and begun scanning the cave with his eyes."Miss Jones is right!"

"Yes, there is! I can feel it on my face!" said Barbara excitedly and Emma stood up and went to help the two.

"It may only be a small opening. Don't count on it. . . ."

The Doctor scoffed, "Oh, you obviously are."

The tips of Emma's ears grew hot and glared at the Time Lord. "You are the smartest being in the universe! But it's beyond me that you don't know that even the slightest bit of hope is better than none! So I suggest you to stop criticising us and do something! Help us all to get out of here." She tried Barbara's bonds, then threw the rock away with an angry huff. "Blast it!"

"Oh, the stone's no good!!" Ian said, also frustrated.

"Well don't give up, you two. Please." Barbara said.

After a pause he responded, "All right."

He and Emma started searching the ground again.

"No, no, don't waste time. Try those bones. They may. . . t-they're sharper, perhaps." the Doctor said.

"That's a good idea."

"Oh Grandfather, I knew you'd think of something!" Susan praised her grandfather.

Emma gave him an odd look. "We just wasted precious time on trying with the rock, why didn't you that sooner?!"

"Oh, I didn't think you'd have cared." he said, feigning guilt. "This is, after all, a dream to you. Why do you care if you wasted time when this isn't real to you?"

There was another pause. The Doctor was taunting her but Emma did not think much of it and said, "Good point."

The Doctor sighed, "We must all take it in turns and try and cut his hands free."

"But surely we should get the girls. . ." said Ian.

"No, no, no, we've got to free you first! You're the strongest, and you may have to defend us." The Doctor, using a fragment of bone, was starting to make progress on Ian's binds. He stopped, panting. He handed the fragment to Susan. "Susan, you have a go. My arms are tired."

Susan nodded. "All right."

She started on the binds as the Doctor lied back with a groan. "And don't think of failure."

"What?" Barbara asked him.

"Well, try to remember, if you can, how you and the others got here. Concentrate on that please."

"Yes, yes, I'll try." She blinked and realized something. "You're, you’re trying to help me."

"Yes. Well, fear makes companions of all of us, Miss Wright."

"I never once thought you were afraid."

"Fear is with all of us, and always will be. Just like that other sensation that lives with it."

"What's that?"

"Oh, your companion referred to it. Hope. Hope, Miss Wright."

Sometime later Barbara was working at the cords on Ian's hands now. The younger girls were trying to bite theirs off. Theirs gazes fell upon a hollow in the cave wall - Susan cried out in alarm and Emma yelped. Some bushes and twigs in the hollow were moving, with a shadow visible within. With a grunt of effort, the Old Mother pushed aside the small portcullis of branches that had covered her secret entrance.

She stared at the five. You. . . .will not. . .make fire. I will set you free, if you will go away and not make fire. Fire will bring trouble and death to the tribe."

The Doctor nodded. "There will be no fire."

Suddenly, grunting sounds came from outside. The five travellers were freed from their bindings, Susan last of all.

"Hurry. Hurry!! You must go across the top and into the trees. . ."

The five climbed through the secret entrance, Emma helped Susan out.

Through the dark forest maze, the group ran toward the TARDIS and safety. Barbara was in the lead, with Susan, Emma and Ian following and the Doctor bringing up the rear. But the old male was losing breath, and he sagged against a tree.

"Stop. . . stop. . . just a minute. . . let me get my. . . ." the Doctor breathed heavily.

"We can't stop here!" said Ian.

"Just a moment. . . ."

"Look, we've got to go further on."

"I know, I know that but I must get breathe. . . I must breathe. . ."

"Try, try! I shall have to carry you."

"Oh, there's no need for that! Don't be so childish - I'm not senile - just let me get my breath for a moment. . . ."

Susan moved to take the Doctor's arm over her own and helped him on his way. "Oh, Grandfather, come on. . ."

"Yes. . . I'm not so young, you know. . . . ."

"I know."

As they started on, a very nervous Barbara got by Ian and Emma. "Are you sure this is the right way?"

Ian nodded. "Yes, I think so."

Barbara's voice started shaking. "I can't remember. I. . .I simply can't remember. . . ."

She broke down, sobbing on Ian's chest. He pat her back reassuringly. Emma gave her a small comforting smile, "Oh, Miss Wright, it's going to be alright! We're free! That's something, right?"

"I believe you're right, yes. . ." Emma thought that she wasn't going to say anything else and started walking forward until. . . "Emma?" She stopped at the sound of her name and looked over her shoulder to Barbara. "Do you. . . Do you happen to know if we make it or not?"

The noirette thought about it for a moment and replied, "Considering that this show has been running for nearly sixty years, I believe that we'll make it!"

That brought some comfort to Barbara and she calmed back down. Still holding on to her, Ian started back after the Doctor and Susan and Emma - but an echoing bellow stopped the two schoolteachers cold. They forced themselves to go onward.

Some time went by and our travellers were dirty, sweaty, and exhausted. Yet still they forced themselves through the thickets. And their pace was growing more uncertain.

"I'm sure I remember this place. . . but we didn't come round it. We went across it." said Susan.

"Yes, th-th-there was a sort of trail. . . ." said Barbara.

"If that's true, we must be quite near the ship.' said Ian and he turned to the male Time Lord. "How are you feeling?"

He simply waved him away. "Oh, I'm all right. Don't keep looking upon me as the weakest state of the. . ."

Barbara suddenly stopped, gasping in terror. Ian grabbed her, looking where she was looking. "What‘s the matter?"

"I don’t know. I don��t know. Something over there, in the bushes. . ."

The Doctor was trying to hide his own fright. "Oh, what nonsense!"

"The bushes moved! I saw them! I saw them! Oh, we're never going to get out of this awful place! Never, never, never. . ."

Ian hugged her, trying to calm her down.

Susan turned to the Doctor, "What do you think she could have seen, Grandfather?"

"No! Sheer nonsense, child. Imagination."

". . .no we won't. We're going to get back to the ship, and then we'll be safe." Ian said to Barbara who was sobbing.

"Oh Ian, what's happening to us?"

"Look, Barbara! We got out of the cave, didn't we?"

A growl rumbled through the forest but nobody seemed to have heard or they were far too tired to concern themselves with this. Emma was rubbing her legs as an attempt to stay warm. It was a bad time for her to wear shorts.

"I’m so cold." said Susan who was also trying to warm herself.

Emma, knowing that she would probably regret it, sighed as she removed her hoodie and gave it to Susan. "Here, this will do for now." And she was right, she already regretted her choice. Not only was she wearing shorts but also a sleeveless shirt. The hoodie was the only thing that was keeping her warm from her waist and up. "Just-- Just, if you can, make sure my stuff won't fall out the pocket. 'Kay?"

Susan accepted the hoodie gratefully with a weak smile. "Thank you, Emma." She held the younger girl's coat and helped her put the hoodie on. Then she gave her the coat. She asked her if it was alright. Susan nodded, "Yes. Thanks."

Mopping his head with a handkerchief and slightly ignoring the conversation between his granddaughter and the strange female, he said. "Oh, I'm hot with all this exertion."

"We'll rest for a couple of minutes." said Ian.

"Oh, good. Is there any chance of them following us?" asked Susan.

"I expect so./Certainly." both the Doctor and Emma said simultaneously.

"Yes. That's why I don't want to stop here too long." said Ian.

"Do you think I want to?" said the Doctor.

"No. We'll change the order - you and Susan go in front, Barbara, Emma and I will bring up the rear. Susan seems to remember the way better than any of us."

The Doctor snorted. "You seem to have elected yourself leader of this little party."

"There isn't time to vote on it."

"Just as long as so you understand that I won't follow your orders blindly. . ."

"If there were only two of us, you could find your own way back to the ship!"

"Aren’t you are a tiresome young man!"

"And you're a stubborn old man! But you will lead, the girls in between, and I'll bring up the rear because that's the safest way! Barbara was probably right. I thought I heard something when we stopped back there."

"Oh, sheer imagination."

"Why are you so confident about it!?"

"Cause I won't allow myself to be frightened out of my wits by mere shadows. That's all!"

"Oh alright!"

He stormed away from Ian and back to the three huddled women who were sat on the ground. Ian followed. Susan put her hands into Emma's hoodie and felt the items which were in the pocket. A part of her wanted to take them out and see what they were but she thought it'd be best if she didn't. Though she planned on asking Emma later about it. Speaking of Emma, Susan looked at the female in question.

She blurted out, "Emma?" She looked at her and hummed in acknowledgement. "Why do you still believe that you are dreaming?"

She did not respond. Not at first at least. "It just doesn't make any sense to me. I mean, as I said, this is a television show. . . It can't be, well, real. I grew up watching the series. Well. . . The 2005 one and on but still." Susan pinched her on the arm. Emma winced and rubbed the place where she had been pinched. "Ouch!" She looked at Susan with wide eyes. "What was that for?"

"Sorry, but some humans say that if you pinch yourself when you're dreaming then you wake up."

"It hurts!"

"If it were a dream would it hurt?"

Emma opened her mouth to respond but realization dawned on her and she closed it with a distraught look. She looked down at her hands, she rubbed her legs, and did not speak again. What could she even say? 

Many things were going through her head, but she had to sort them out later. When they weren't in this situation. 

An hour passed and the travellers were still resting. Chesterton was the first one to get to his feet. "I think we'd better get going. Doctor, will you lead?"

The Doctor, still fanning himself with the handkerchief, got up. "Yes, yes yes yes."

"Come on, Barbara." He helped her up but as they started onward, Brabara stumbled and fell with a groan upon a bush. Right in front of the blood-splattered warthog. She screamed at the sight and Ian helped her to her knees, and held her. "Barbara, Barbara. . ."

Susan touched the creature gingerly. "A dead animal."

"It's just been killed. And by a larger animal too!" said the Doctor.

The rustling of branches alerted Ian and Emma. Ian turned to the group, "Shhh. That must be them. They've followed us - quick, quick, over there!" The party rushed across the path and out of sight. A few moments later, Za and Hur appeared. The travellers were perched behind a tree, watching the two cautious tribes-people. "Keep down, and not a sound. . ."

Za and Hur turned in a complete circle, scanning the shrubbery for any sign of the four strangers. The sound of a growl could be heard. Hur squinted at something and started forward but Za stopped her. "Wait! There is danger. I will go."

Hefting his axe, he started in the direction Hur had indicated. He moved slowly, toward a rustling bush that suddenly moved. Both tribes-people screamed as the creature pounced on him. The party watched in horror as the sounds of struggle and terror reached them. They climbed as one to their feet..

"Quick, now's our chance! Let's get away! Run!"

"We cannot just let them die!" Emma protested. "We have to help them."

"Miss Jones, this is not the time---"

Barbara grabbed at Ian. "I agree with Miss Jones. I don't care what they've done!!"

"Barbara!" Hur was sobbing nearby. "Barbara, Miss Jones, come on!"

She shook her head violently. "I think he's dead. . .there isn't any danger."

"Barbara! For heaven’s sake!"

"No!"

Emma helped Barbara to rip free of Ian and they ran towards the cavepeople, Ian lunged after the two female.

"I'm going too. . ." Susan said but the Doctor tried to hold her back.

"Susan, you stay here with me. . ."

"No, Grandfather, we can't le. . ."

"Silence, we're going back to the ship!"

"No!"

She also pushed herself towards the wounded tribesman.

"What are you doing!? They must be out of their minds!!"

The battle was over, and the creature had retreated back into the wood. Za was lying prone, moaning, his chest criss-crossed with jagged claw wounds. Hur was hunched over him, howling sounds of grief. She reacted as Ian approached, knife in hand. "No, keep away!"

"Let me look at him."

"No!"

"I am your friend, you understand? Friend. I want to help you."

Hur looked uncertain. "Friend. . . .?"

"I want water."

"Water. . ."

"Go and fetch some water for his wounds." said Emma as she knelt beside Ian.

Hur paused for a moment, she decided and pointed behind her. "Water is there."

"Please, show me." said Barbara. She turned to Ian. "Give me your handkerchief."

He got his handkerchief out. "There you are."

Barbara took it and led Hur with her out of view. Ian and Emma opened the caveman's furs wider to take a better look at the wounds. The Doctor still stood by their hiding spot. A pleading look from Susan finally brought him up to the rest of the party. Hur and Barbara returned with the now wet handkerchief.

"Is he all right...?" asked Susan in worry.

"I think so." said Ian.

Emma pulled the stone axe out of Za's hand. The stone blade was noticeably missing. "He must have buried his axe-head in the animal." She took the handkerchief from Barbara. She looked at Ian. "I'll give it back, Mr. Chesterton."

He nodded and Emma squeezed it over Za's chest, dripping water down on the wounds. Barbara had wet down her own handkerchief and used it on Za's forehead.

"Water comes out of the skin!" Hur said in amazement.

Ian laughed. "Yes." Emma wiped away at the chest wounds. "I think most of this is the animal's blood."

"Oh, good." said Susan.

"There's a scar on the side of his head. . ." Barbara said.

"Well, we've lost our chance of getting away." Ian said, then, amused, he turned to Barbara. "Your flat must be littered with stray cats and dogs. . ."

"They are human beings, Ian."

"Yes."

He touched a raw spot, making Za moan loudly. The two schoolteachers and Emma tried to keep him still as Hur whimpered. The Doctor stepped forward. "What exactly do you think you're doing?"

"Have you got any antiseptic in the ship?"

Susan nodded. "Yes, lots."

"One minute ago, we were trying desperately to get away from these savages---" said the Doctor, only to be interrupted by Ian.

"All right. Now we're helping them. You're a doctor, do something!"

He scoffed. "I'm not a doctor of medicine."

Susan piped in, "Grandfather, we can make friends with them.

"Oh don't be ridiculous, child!"

Emma and Barbara were fuming with rage. The latter was about to speak but the former was far angrier that she beat her to it. "Will you stop that?! Why do you treat everybody and everything as something less important than yourself!?"

"You're trying to say that everything you do is reasonable and everything I do is inhuman. But I'm afraid your judgement's at fault here, Miss Jones. Not mine."

"I can't believe it." scoffed Emma with a dry laugh and looked into his eyes as she continued. "I am not saying what we do is logical. Me, Mr. Chesterton and Miss Wright are just doing what is humane. This is humanity! You--- You have two hearts! What's the point in having them if you can't show a little compassion?!"

Ian and Barbara froze at the news. Wait, two hearts? The Doctor was momentarily stunned by her response, his breath shaking a little but he quickly collected himself and said rather coldly, "Haven't you realised if these two people can follow these, or any of these people can follow us, the whole tribe might descend upon us at any moment?"

"The tribe is asleep!" Hur said.

"And what about the old woman who cut our bonds, hmm? You understand?"

Hur thought about it but couldn't add it up. She looked at Ian in confusion. He responded.  "He's right. We're too exposed here." He got up "We'll make a stretcher and carry him."

"You're not going to take him back to the ship?" asked the Doctor, appalled.

Ian took off his coat. "Take your coat off, Barbara. Susan, Emma, try to find me two poles. Long ones, fairly straight."

"The old woman won't give us away. She helped us." said Barbara to the Doctor.

"You think so? They have logic and reason, have they? Can't you see their minds change as rapidly as night and day? She's probably telling the whole tribe at this very moment!"

The efforts to construct a makeshift stretcher continued, but. . . "It's not going to work like this. . ." said Ian.

Susan got up and took off her own coat. Bundling it up into a pillow, she started to put it under Za's head. Hur jumped at her. "Noooo! He is mine!"

Susan jumped back, yelping. She huddled near Emma. "I was only trying to help!!"

"It's alright Susan." Emma said as she gave her a reassuring smile. "You did good." She looked at Hur. "She just doesn't understand that. She is, uh, jealous of you."

"I don't understand what you are doing! You are like a. . .like a mother to the child. Why do you not kill??" asked Hur, sounding rather demanding.

"How can we explain to her? She doesn't understand kindness, friendship. . ." Ian said.

"We will make him well again. We will teach you how to make fire. In return, you show us the way back to. . ..to our cave." said Barbara to Hur, slowly and gently.

Hur was uncertain. She looked down at Za and he spoke very weakly, "Listen to them. They do not kill. . ."

She thought again. Ian decided not to wait for the answer. "Come on, let's get on with this stretcher. Let's try the sleeves inside. . . .that's it. . ."

"Water" Za's voice was hoarse as he spoe.

Hur murmured in the affirmative to him. She got up, only to face the haughty stare of the Doctor. Matching the stare, she went on toward the pool.

"How about giving us a hand, Doctor?" asked Ian who noticed the stare.

The Doctor turned his back on the party. Susan said, "He's always like this if he doesn't get his own way."

Unseen from the rest of the party, a faint smile whispered across the Doctor's face. He turned to face the party again.

"Well, the old woman won't give us away. And now that we've got these two on our side, we should get back to the ship." said Emma though she did not sound certain.

"Yes."

The Doctor knelt down and picked up Za's stone knife but Ian grabbed the Doctor's wrist. "Get your hand off me!"

"What are you doing?"

"W-well, I-I-I was going to get him to draw our way back to the TARDIS."

Glaring suspiciously at the Doctor, Ian let go of him. "We've been too long as it is. Is the stretcher ready?"

"Yes." said Barbara.

"All right." He turned to the Doctor. "You take one end of it."

"You don't expect me to carry him, do you?"

"Do you want the women to do the job for you?"

Snarling, he replied. "Oh, very well!!"

The party gathered around Za. "Right, move him over very carefully. . ." Za groaned as they turned him. Hur cried out in sympathy. "Now, back again, gently. . ."

"Carefully. . ." said Barbara.

They deposited him on the stretcher, using one of the furs to wrap him in.

"Good, good. Right, now Susan, Emma, you get in front with her."

The party had finally reached the end of the forest. They were now in the desert and the sky was now as dark as ink. 

"Hold the branches back, girls.

The two pushed away the last of the tree branches, to a welcome sight which caused Emma to grin widely in relief. The two girls cheered, "The TARDIS! There's the TARDIS!"

Suddenly, several of the tribe rise from places of concealment, their spears ready.

"Back! Get back!" Ian warned them

They turned to face Kal and several cavemen at his side. Barbara screamed.

[dzpenumbra]

12/13/22

Today has been a bit tricky. I noticed that Max's hyperthyroid meds were running very low last night. It's a twist applicator and it has stickers all over it, so it's like... impossible to see what level the ointment is at, and I don't know how to even eyeball the amount. And --- I'm getting frantic. I'm afraid that she's going to run out of meds. I probably wrote about this last night. I ordered overnight delivery, the pharmacy says it shipped and I did 1 day delivery, like I shelled out $30 for that shit... But I can't see tracking info, it just gives me an error. I'm just flying by the seat of my pants here, I am praying it gets here tomorrow before 1PM, or that I even have enough meds for tonight - let alone tomorrow morning, too.

It's the not knowing that gets me. And kicking myself. "I can't believe I didn't think to refill this sooner." "How did I not notice?" "I'm a bad pet parent." "She's going to have to be in physical pain, possibly get more sick, because of my inability to manage my life."

I have no idea why I am so afraid of the criticism of others, no one could kick my ass a fraction as bad as I kick my own ass every day. I don't think anyone has even come close. Like... when people try to make fun of me or mock me or criticize me... I'm not even exaggerating, it sounds comical. It sounds like a Kidz Bop version of an insult. Because inside my head... inside my head is an improv stand-up comedian who's been doing crowd-work in my head for over 30 years. Who knows all the ins and outs of my personality, every weak point, every insecurity, every chink in the armor to slip that dagger in. He rolls nat 20s in his fuckin sleep. So seriously, I have no idea why I give a shit about the superficial, juvenile judgements of outsiders when I have this demon to deal with.

Maybe that's why isolation is so hard for me. It's not being by myself, that's never been an issue, I kinda prefer it in a lot of ways. It's being stuck with that motherfucker. Having the only critique of my work being: "Welp, you just sank like 2-3 hours into polishing this piece of cool green mineral and... your dumb ass decided to use purple Sharpie to mark bevel lines. Purple. Remember color theory? Remember how that's a complimentary color? Like the highest contrast, most out-of-place color you could use? Yeah, did you... um... think to check if the mineral was porous or not? Nope, of course not, why would we do that... Now your hours and hours of work have resulted in a beautiful green mirror-surfaced mineral with big purple splotches soaked into it. Way to piss the day away dude, you could've done wood carving, you could've worked on that weird goat skull project, you could've drawn on your tablet. Now your arm is completely worn out. Way to go. <slow clap>"

When that's the only feedback you get on your work... How long can you keep going?

But with something like this, like caring for a loved one, like medical stuff, executive functioning stuff, life stuff. It's just whole other ball game. And I just feel like a complete sack of shit. Like how the fuck... Okay, you know what, I'm going to give the real second half to that sentence. Not "how the fuck do I keep fucking up so bad." Nope. It's "how the fuck do people keep track of all this shit?" "How do 'normal' people function?" It legit blows my mind, probably the same way it blows their mind that I can draw the way I can. I just can't keep up, I can't keep track of all this stuff. It took me like an hour to just figure out what the hell I was doing for dinner, and I was trying to do something easy. I tried to do Grubhub and just kept getting distracted, then I couldn't make up my mind, then the clock was ticking and I had to order before a specific time, then I think about how expensive this is getting and rabbit-hole on that for a while. Then eventually I'm just like "fuck it, I'm just making ramen, this is dumb." After like an hour of not being able to find anything appealing. It's obnoxious and it's like... every fucking day.

Can you tell I'm stressed out? XD

So... my cat's fate on this is really in the hands of the delivery people. This needs to be an act of faith. I did my best here. And I --- okay, you know what, I'm telling the story.

I used to be on Lamictal. I was on a bunch of different meds, one was some fucking anti-psychotic med they give to people in retirement homes (I was told after I got off it) that I was taking for the side-effects to help me sleep... yeah... Not even gonna tangent on that one, I'm sure you can go on your own personal journey of medical outrage. And I was on a titanic dose of Xanax just for daily functioning. If you want to call it that... All this from a psychiatrist who wore more makeup than any person I've met in my whole life. I was neurotic about my meds. I had the fear of God put in me with a bunch of side-effect scares - serotonin syndrome being one of the biggest, but not the only one. After not being able to move my eyes without vomiting for hours, trauma ground the lesson in my head that you do. not. fuck. with. meds. You take them on time. You do not miss doses. The side effects can be life-threatening, and you don't know how bad it is for you personally until you're there. So... what happened?

I forgot to get my prescription refilled. And it was a Sunday afternoon. I remember it clear as day, it was a cloudy afternoon, it looked like a storm was rolling in from the South. It was summer of 2019, probably around... May or June. It was like 4 in the afternoon, that was when my med time was and I just flat-out did not notice that I need a refill until I opened my med container thing and there was nothing there. I fucking lost my shit. I called every pharmacy I could find, nothing was open. I called places up to like 45 minutes away. I was driving around town while calling these places, saying "I'm in my car right now, I can be there in X minutes." Nothing, no one could help me. I panicked so much, I shit you not, I went to the police station. God, this is so embarrassing, but like... when you don't have any friends and no one picks up the phone, and no professional will help you... and you're afraid for your life... what do you do? I panicked. Maybe I should've gone to the hospital? Nearest one was 40 minutes away. Anyway, they didn't know how to help me either. No duh there, I guess. So eventually I just was out of options and I went home. This part of the story feels weird to tell because... well... in the past, it might have gotten someone into trouble. At least that's what he thought, I disagree, but whatever. I called up an old friend of mine that I recently reconnected with briefly. He mentioned he was on Lamictal at one point, we connected on that. I... asked him if he could spot me one so I didn't go into withdrawal. And, because he worked at a mental health facility (as a like... handyman, but still...) he was unsure if that would be okay. Like... it was weird, and he was afraid he'd get fired for it if anyone found out. He hasn't worked there in a few years so I feel okay telling this now, and it's not like I'm naming him or anything. See how fucking paranoid we all have to be nowadays?! This isn't even a controlled substance!!! Like I really don't think you can abuse Lamictal... But yeah, he bailed me out with one dose so I didn't freak out. And I guess that was like... one of the biggest friend moments I've ever had. Though I wish we could've been less afraid of the cops showing up or some shit. It's so stupid looking back at it, like... all of it. But, this is a big one for me.

So, I'm dealing with a similar story with my cat now... At least, it feels the same. Where, despite my best efforts, I have managed to overlook med details, forget to keep up with them, and I'm praying to any deity that will listen for her to not have to go an extended period of time without the med in her system. But it hits different. See, when it was me... it was fear of mortality, fear of death. With her? It's fear of guilt, of having to live a life with that blood on my hands. In my fucked up imagination, she's already dead from thyroid imbalances somehow cascading and leading to organ failure. And it's all my fault. And I have to live with that survivor's guilt for the rest of my life. Dark as fuck, right?

See, that's why I don't like isolation. I don't have anyone else in the world to say, "Hey, look, it's probably not as bad as you think. Let's do some research on this." So I can feel my feelings fully, which all stem in intensity from how much I care about her, and not deny or suppress them. But also make informed, logical decisions. God fucking damn is it hard to do both at the same time. And I see so many people take this insanely valuable asset - another human perspective, emotional grounding, compassion, comfort, reassurance, support, stuff like that - for granted. It's the piece that's missing for me right now, and I really don't know where to go to find it. I mean that. Instagram? Feels weird. Here? How? Dating apps? Feels even weirder, somehow. At this point in the list... I just start getting really depressed and resign to my current situation.

I wrote to my social worker today. I told him about the ADHD stuff. I tried to keep it brief and ended up writing at least a full page, it's hard to really gauge how much I write in a digital format, I guess that's why they're switching from "pages" to "minutes" as a way of telling how long a read things are nowadays. I'll see how he responds.

I'm afraid I'm just... too fucked up. I struggle with too many things, and I have for too long. The system doesn't seem to be designed to help people like me, I guess. Like... it's supposed to be like a social support system, social services, right? But everyone I talk to just gives me tips on positive self-talk, how to set healthy boundaries with people and encourages me to exercise and meditate. All of which I work on, and none of which are fixing the massive gaping holes in my life like... I've been living out of piles of cardboard boxes for like 6 years. It takes about a week for me to lose my structure and my dishes pile up to the ceiling. I build up my self-confidence into a freight train of motivation, then go to a job interview, feel like I did a great fucking job and then... it goes nowhere. Rarely even a call-back. Same for applications, I write this legendary cover letter, something heartfelt, conversational, personal, real. And I don't even get a fucking "sorry, we're not interested." And I try to set up my own businesses, and somehow... no one can help me with... any of them? Like... at all? It's fucking weird, it's like I'm radioactive. Naw. It's like I'm cursed. It's like I was hexed by the Witch of the Woods and everyone got the memo like 10 minutes before I showed up, so they hide the memo behind their backs and go "hey, _____, nice to meet you!" With a big fake smile that my naïve and insanely emotionally overwhelmed ass reads as completely legit, and then they nod and smile as I do my best to confidently, honestly stroll through the interview. Meanwhile they're checking the clock the whole time, because they made up their mind before I walked in the door.

I feel like no one. Not my family, not my friends, not therapists, not mentors, not potential employers, not potential business partners. No one wants to take a chance on me. And I don't know why. Maybe it's because I have too much to say? Maybe my constantly racing mind is too overwhelming for them? Maybe it's my strong emotions? Maybe they're intimidated by me? I have no idea, this is all 100% speculation.

Can you tell I'm depressed? XD

So yeah, I don't have huge hopes that he will be able to support me in the way I need it. And, despite browsing two dating apps every morning, I feel like if I were to date someone, I would seriously just be giving them a big list of chores. Like... dating me would be a job. Make sure he doesn't forget that the daily alert to start his sleep routine went off in his pocket, but he got distracted and wandered off to dig through a random box for something he hasn't used in 4 years. Make sure he's actually eaten food and drank water today. It's 2AM, tell him to go to bed. I would do these things for a girlfriend in a heartbeat. I mean that sincerely, and I have. I've actually been denied the ability to do that by my ex, due to her pride, and it made me feel like I wasn't allowed to be a good boyfriend. And it sucked. I know how much these and other gestures mean, especially to people like me. Like... it's life-changing. But it still feels like a tall order.

So yeah, difficult day. But I sanded down an agate today - it's really pretty, pink and purple and white - the best I could until my arm wore out, then I played Rimworld, smoked a tiny tiny bit and took a shower, then worked on sanding another piece of that green stuff, I still don't know what it is, I think it's fluorite but it's very grainy and opaque. And I worked on a small triangular piece of reddish... I'm guessing sandstone or something, it was very easy to polish, much more pleasant to work with. And here I am.

I'm gonna dig up a midnight snack. I guess this brain dump was helpful, I don't know, this kinda just felt like my depression jacking off. Like... I'm very conflicted on this. I have a lot of deep gut instincts that have been telling me for a long time that the solution to most of my problems would be to get in a healthy relationship with someone where I can help them in ways that they lack, and they can help me with the things that I struggle with. And every time I float this idea, people look at me like I have 40 heads. Like I should have 20 friends before I even start looking for a girlfriend. Well... who is going to go out and meet people with me?

I have always been the tag-along. Any time I moved, it was because I had a friend there. Any time I went to an event or a party or... anything, really... it was because someone I knew was there. I have always functioned atrociously when I don't have someone else there.

Someone was being really loud in the hallway and decided of all walls to bang against... to do it on mine... Made me jump. Still not used to being in close proximity to other humans. Maybe I don't function atrociously when I'm alone. I function differently. I don't think in social-mode. Because the majority of my experience on a daily level is... internal. It's in my head. It's not interactive. I shift purely into introspective mode. Where, when I'm in regular social interactions, I have outside stimuli to pull me out of my head. When that's absent, I have a tendency to go through gigantic creative growth spurts... I fucking wonder why... but also, all the shit you're seeing here tonight, that runs rampant. Like a cartoon of Halloween or some shit, all my demons and depressions and anxieties and panics and inner-critiques and all that shit are just swooping around and divebombing poor me as I'm just trying to go throughout my day. I think it's a BIG reason why people like me tend to impulsively just jump from relationship to relationship, without even noticing it, without even thinking about it. To avoid that. The alone scaries. Being stuck with their own thoughts. Alone.

So yeah, good night! Sleep tight! XD

I try so hard to end on a good note with these things, or at least a mic drop or something, but yeah. Fuck it. Today is just a weird one. Fingers crossed I get some good sleep, and here's hoping for a better tomorrow.

[randynova]

Can you do a Kyojuro Rengoku smut story where Kyojuro and the reader eloped?

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧

ᴋʏᴏᴊᴜʀᴏ ʀᴇɴɢᴏᴋᴜ x ғᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛᴇᴅ?: ʏᴇs

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 𝟼.𝟸ᴋ

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐊𝐲𝐨𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞.

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ(s): sᴍᴜᴛ, ғʟᴜғғ, ᴇʟᴏᴘᴇ/ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ, ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴs ᴏғ ᴀʙᴜsᴇ, ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴs ᴏғ ᴘʀᴇɢɴᴀɴᴄʏ, ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

A.N.: Hi, thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy it! This is my first attempt at writing for Kyojuro so I hope I did good! This is pretty long, and one of my requests that took long. I think I have at least 2-3 more like this. But hopefully, I can finish them all before school begins.

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"Stupid boy! How can you associate yourself with such a disappointment of a girl?! Courting the daughter of a crap cook?!" Shinjuro grits, taking a swig of sake and glowering at his son. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing! The liquid burned his esophagus as it ran down his throat, yet with the fury pumping through him, the alcohol did nothing but fuel his emotions. A groan leaves him and he throws the clay container at the slayer, missing Kyojuro's head by a few centimeters as it smashes into hundreds of pieces upon hitting the wall. "Ugh— what a worthless son you are! I can't even count on you to bring honor to this family…!"

Shinjuro knew your family very well and he despised them, especially your father, where even the mere mention of the man's name ignited a strong scorn within the former pillar. Even if he could care less about what his son did, he'll be damned if he allowed his eldest to bring the Rengoku name shame!

"What…?" Disappointment? Kyojuro thought bitterly, frowning. My [Name] is far from that….  

Yet, Kyojuro kept his mouth shut, trying to keep the bubbling anger at bay upon hearing the jibes from the former pillar. If anything, his mother taught him to never disrespect his father and a part of him still wished for his approval. However when Shinjuro continued his slander parade, grumbling about your 'disgraceful' family, dragging your name through the mud, and calling you 'an easy wretch who'd open her legs for anyone', Kyojuro felt his temper snap. It’s one thing to humiliate Kyojuro, but to snub his beloved for no good reason? Kyujuro would not stand for it.

Staring at his father, lips pressing into a tight-lipped smile and a darkened gaze, the man remained seated, seething in his spot whilst he clenched his fists. "Father, as much as I respect you, I cannot tolerate you insulting the woman I love–" Kyojuro could not finish his sentence.

The man cut Kyojuro off with a scoff, pushing himself off the floor, quickly moving onto his feet, and stumbling towards his eldest. Almost as if a firecracker had been lit beneath him, he shook with pure irate, thick brows knitting together, blinded with rage as he raised his hand. "Hah! 'Love'?! You of all people wouldn't know what it is with that thick fucking skull of yours!" Shinjuro grabbed Kyojuro's fiery hair and twisted his golden tresses between his fingers, hauling his son off the ground and flinging him to the floor. He didn't give his son time to react, his foot digging into the man's stomach as he shouts with pure disdain, "You're only nineteen! What the hell do you know about love?!"

"Father, I–" 

Shinjuro cuts his son off, practically spitting every word out in a venomous tone,"Shut up! Leave her! Let that damn girl live her life without you!" Shinjuro spits, the heel of his foot ramming into his son’s ribs,  "Ergh— for once, amount to something and find someone who isn't as worthless and talentless as you! Maybe then I'll finally be proud of a son like you!"

It's been a couple hours since the encounter where Kyojuro finally decided to announce to his father of his courtship to you, believing it would somehow make the older man just a bit proud of him. Perhaps even get his blessing as well! Afterall, the life of a demon slayer is unpredictable and who knows when it will ever be safe for Kyojuro to settle down, if ever. For once, he wants to live a life with you by his side, where he can finally be happy knowing he has a woman like you as his wife.

Yet even as his hopes were crushed, Kyojuro could not get his mind off it all, replaying his father's words over and over again as he made his way back to your home, kicking the dirt as he walked in the night. Shaky breaths left him, still getting heated just thinking about how his father insulted you. How dare he?!

You were one of the most kind and beautiful people he’s ever crossed paths with, truly the most remarkable woman in his eyes. One he does not ever regret meeting . With a sharp wit and strong resolve, you were by far the only other person to keep up with his chittering and bright character, as well as his odd but large appetite. It only spurred his interest in you more. Though the two of you have only known each other for a few months, he knew you were the one he wanted to marry one day. With a heart of gold and talent of ambrosia to cook the most delicious meals, he'd be a fool to let you go so easily.

Even if his father threatened to break you two apart —

"In the morning, I'm going to that damn cook's house and telling the bastard you're courting his daughter. Then we'll see how strong your 'love' is when she's engaged to someone else…"

— Kyojuro would make sure you will stay together. Thus, his own current predicament walking in the fields to the town you reside in. Hearing his father’s threat to break you two apart did dishearten him for a bit, but just the mere thought of surrendering you to another man so easily ignited a strange primal instinct within the man, one that made his chest feel heavy and his stomach twist. If there is any other man out there who dared take you from him, Kyojuro would not give up without a fight. You were his and his alone.

The slayer sucked in a sharp breath and sighed, defeated in getting his father's acknowledgement in your relationship. Then again, your relationship had not been officialized and had been a secret courtship, one that not even his closest friends knew. Yes, Kyojuro did want to announce his interest in you, yet he held himself back.

Part of him feared a demon finding you as a way to get revenge, while the other part of him didn't want to cause trouble for your family. Of course Kyojuro was familiar with the bickering going in-between the Rengoku and [Last Name] families, but he never paid much mind to it. It never caught his attention.

It wasn’t until the pillar stopped by your village to replenish and satiate his hunger, running across the small family restaurant. The name was familiar and he recognized it, though, the reason kept slipping his mind. At the time, only you and your mother were working, and after your mother’s refusal to attend to the man, you took it upon yourself to be a diligent server for the fiery man. To say he was stumped seeing you would be an understatement. 

A warm smile and mellow [E/C] eyes that had his heart thumping wildly in his ribcage, a voice as smooth and sweet as melting honey, a kind yet humorous character that had both of you chittering, stuck in a cycle of endless banter had it not been for your father kicking him out. In short, you left an impression on the man, especially after you gave him an extra order of beef nabe and sweet potatoes, asking him to please visit your family’s restaurant again soon. 

What can I say? The way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. And he could not understand his father’s hatred for your family.

And he did visit, numerous times in fact over the course of the year. Kyojuro found himself going to your village to eat after every mission, even taking his brother Senjuro with him a few times to further extend his visit as long as possible. It became obvious to the small boy as he noticed his older brother’s flushed cheeks and change of behavior whenever you came by their table, leaning in towards you and bashfully smiling, not to mention the rain of compliments after every bite. Senjuro felt out of place and could only stare with an awkward smile.

These little visits allowed Kyjuro to get to know you better, from your favorite flowers, to a wish to own a certain article of clothing, or your dream to visit all of Japan one day — maybe even the world. And he hung onto every word as if it were sacred scripture.

To everyone around, it was clear that the man was absolutely infatuated with you. If only you could see it, he thought. 

It wasn’t until your father threatened him to leave you alone was Kyojuro pushed to finally ask for your hand — which you gladly accepted with a smile of glee. With gifts and flowers, the man soon charmed his way to your heart and soon, you just couldn't wait to see him again.

Each night he returned from a mission, you prepared him a bento box and both of you shared it under the moonlight, sitting on the porch of your home or the nearby fields. He would tell you of his battles, chat about his friends, boast about his little brother and so on - it just proved how much of a humble, yet selfless man Kyojuro was and you found yourself falling deeper.

The two of you grew close, closer than he ever anticipated.

Kyojuro would never forget the night he plucked you for the first time, shedding his cloak for you as he laid with you in the fields, declaring his love for you as he sunk deep into your fluttering heat. Your beautiful smile when you said you trusted him, holding his face with your hands and telling him you loved him — the joy he felt that day couldn’t be described by words. The memory made his own body turn mellow, corners of his mouth twitching.

From the praises spilling from his mouth as your hands carved crimson lines to his back, slow heated kisses pressed to your bare neck and soft breasts as he moved with gentle caution, to sharing a deep kiss whilst he spilled inside your womb. Oh, he could never forget your strangled cry as you weakly called out for him, pulling him flush against your body as you came, whimpering and gasping. 

You were his and his alone, the same way he was yours and only yours.

The intimate time he spent with you, he would forever cherish it — even the many nights that followed where you spent in his arms, hands interlocked, and losing yourselves in the rapture of your love. Suitor or Husband, Kyojuro would not dare to treat you as anything less than perfect.

Your courtship would be something he could never regret nor ever stop.

However, Kyjuro paused, stopping in his tracks.  Speaking of, your courtship has been going well and considering the circumstances, it would be time to propose sooner rather than later. Yet, he would not be able to have his own family attend his wedding, the same way you would not be able to have your own parents present. The exchange of rice wine had to be in front of both your parents to be official, but his own father disapproved of you, and your mother and father hated all Rengoku men. 

Tradition had it that a wedding ceremony had to be at a Shinto shrine, maybe a local one if neither one of you could find one, but overseen by a priest — it was all Kyojuro wanted for you. Yet…

Not a lot of priests would oversee a wedding on such short notice, and some did not have a liking to demon slayer. So another dead end there. Racking his brain, Kyojuro still contemplated what you two could do.

Mm, perhaps if he asked Ubuyashiki to officiate your wedding ceremony at a nearby shrine in place of an ordained minister and plead to his fellow pillars to be witnesses to the exchange of rice wine, then you would really have the wedding he promised you one day.

The only choice now was to elope to ensure this would come true before the morning fell and risk losing you. 

Now, all he needed was his bride.

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The chirping of crickets and the breeze of the wind running through the tall grass drifted through the air, the eerie silence of mother nature never breaking even as the soft tapping against your room’s shoji frame rang in the night. Stirring awake, your eyes slowly flutter open, taking a sharp breath at the abrupt disruption to your slumber. The noise came again, the pattering against the paper door pulling you out of your dozy state. 

Odd, who could be out this late? 

Who —

Your eyes shoot wide open once the realization hits you. Kyojuro returned! Sitting up and throwing your blankets off, you crawl quickly to the other side of the room, the dark silhouette of the man lined out clearly against the translucent cover, his hair swaying in the wind. You take a moment to smooth out any stray hairs and take a deep breath.

Shakily, you crack open the divider. Peeking out the door, your face lights up upon seeing the fiery man waiting with a bright smile, his hand mid-air. A twinkle crosses your features as he visibly perks up, golden hues dilating seeing his beloved. How cute.

You did not think as to why he came here nor ponder too long on how late he came to your house, as your heart pounced out of your chest at the mere sight of your suitor and you were more than ecstatic to see him again after so long. "Ah! Kyojuro….!" You squeal as quietly as possible, sliding the door fully open, and flinging yourself to him, arms draping around his neck as he nearly falls backwards with a grunt. For a moment, the thought of your parents slipped your conscience.

Kyojuro leans over slightly so as to let your knees rest on the surface of the porch, avoiding having his beloved strain her body for a simple hug.  “Mm, hello to you as well, my love….,” he titters softly, his smile shifting into a wide grin, regaining his composure and wrapping an arm around your waist, pressing his palm to your upper back. His eyes fall shut whilst burying his nose into your hair and inhaling your honey-sweet aroma. The man’s heart thumped widely in his ribcage and you could feel every beat as it etched a tattoo against your bust. The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes, basking in one another’s presence as you remained in his warm embrace. The pillar could never get tired of the excitement you greet him with every time you see him, even if it’s only been a couple days since he’s seen you — which is rare— but it might as well have been years. If it were up to either one of you, you wouldn’t leave each other's side for a second.

Pulling away slightly,  your eyes meet his lively gaze, soft fingers trailing to his jaw, and cupping his face, running the pads of your thumb over his cheek bones. He leans into your touch, brows raising in content as he melts into your tender hand. It always made your heart swell when he preened at your attention. Sighing sharply, he places his own palm over yours and engulfs it, giving it a soft squeeze whilst still having a hand planted to the small of your back. This is one of the few things he looks forward to when reuniting with his beloved, craving it nearly everyday.

You hum, nuzzling your nose against his own, pulling a small chuckle from him. He bites the inside of his cheek, blood rushing to his face at the small action. "Kyojuro, I missed you…," you mutter with a slight purr, [E/C] hues boring longingly into his own before fluttering close, shrinking the distance between you two and locking your lips together The man holds your body close, slowly tilting his head and deepening the kiss. A small whimper drummed in your throat, parting your mouth wider and allowing Kyojuro to dip his tongue into the wet cavern, wet clicks drifting into the air. Hearing the cute noises you made had him wishing to hear more, almost enough to make him forget why he arrived here in the first place.

With much reluctance, he pulled away, panting as he murmured with a hoarse tone,  "Ah, we… I must discuss something with you. It’s… it’s important….”

Thrumming, you nod, looking at him expectantly. His throat bobbed as he swallowed dryly, opening his mouth yet nothing came out. You always made him tongue-tied on its own, but tonight, it was different. He could hardly find the words to bring up the urgent topic, knowing he would go on a tangent and avoid the statement altogether out of nerves. Before he knew it, the words slipped out without a second thought —

"Marry me, [Name]."

"Huh?!" You pushed yourself off of Kyojuro and stared at him in shock, clasping a hand over your mouth. You hoped your sudden outburst hadn't awoken your parents but part of you could not believe what he had asked you. The man did not seem deterred and gently took your hand from your face and joined it with his awaiting grasp, squeezing them tightly.

Rich and lucid hues gazed at you, his features etched with a determined expression, voice low and earnest as he pleaded to you, "Please marry me today and make me the happiest man alive knowing I have a woman as great as you as my wife. " Even hearing it again seemed surreal, but your brain went haywire at the declaration.

"Kyojuro, I… I," you mutter, fumbling over your words as heat rushes to your face, eyes shifting back and forth between his bright golden n' ruby eyes and your intertwined hands. The moonlight poured over you two and for a moment, he seemed to glow, noticing the blush coating his cheeks.

"Let me take care of you, my sunshine…," he begs once more, using the nickname that always had your heart pittering. "You bring my heart much joy and I cannot imagine anyone else to spend the rest of my life with."

Letting his words sink in, you began to wonder about his words. You’ve always dreamt of getting married since you were a small girl, tying the knot with the man of your dreams, and having a large family. He knew that, yes. Yet, as where you were now, the perfect man sat across from you, pouring his heart and soul to you, pleading you to be his wife. Of course you wanted to say accept his offer! But your family — life cruelly had a twisted fate in blessing you with parents that do not want you to waste a single breath on a man who was willing to give you a piece of heaven itself.

Though, for so long, you always did what was expected of you, never what you wanted. And for once, you wanted to control the direction of your life. Your voice was barely above a whisper, but he heard you and smiled.

You don’t know when the two of you began to kiss, feverishly meshing your lips together in a heated sync as you retreated back into your room, stumbling over your feet as you shared each shaky breath, bodies flush against each other. Stray hands gripped his shoulders, both of you fumbling to strip yourselves of the restricting clothing. Though neither one of you dared pull back, even as the air became scarce, wanting nothing more than to be close.

Slipping his cloak from off his shoulders and tossing it to the side of the room, the man watched as you hastily unbuttoned his uniform, nimble fingers hooking around the waistband of his slacks before unbuckling his belt, pressing a heated kiss to your lips in between. Never has he seen you so desperate, so needy, pawing at his broad chest, running your hands over his muscles and shedding him of his shirt before knotting themselves in his hair. Yet, the way you pulled him close with a harsh tug made his heart swell, knowing you wanted him as much as he wanted you, feverishly connecting your mouth to his.  A string of spit connected your mouths as you parted, your hands still entangled in his locks, breathless and gasping with hazy minds and glazed-over eyes.

Even as he wished for both more than to bury himself inside you, Kyojuro did not wish to hurt you in the midst of trying to remove your clothing in a haste. Tears of pain was the last thing he wanted. Carefully, he peeled away the yogi enveloping your body, shedding away the fabric and revealing the soft skin of your small frame, swallowing dryly. Coarse fingers brush across your exposed skin, pushing the fabric down your arms until it falls to the floor with a soft thump. He followed suit, nudging you backwards until your back met the surface of your futon, his taut frame towering over your feeble form.

As you lay across the cotton sheets, Kyojuro’s eyes roamed your naked form with adoration, drinking in the bare skin of his wife with a newfound elation as you looked like a sinful dream come true. The soft glistening lips of your pussy under the glow of the moonlight looked so inviting, practically dripping in your arousal already, and he could hardly contain himself. The swell of your hips to the plumpness of your thighs garnered his attention, eyes taking in every curve and dip, ingraining each detail into his mind. Seeing his darkened expression, a small smile sets on your lips and you graze the side of your foot to his hips, tapping against his pelvis, and snapping him out of his lovesick trance. Of course, he had more than enough time to stare at you later.

Tonight, however, he intended to worship your body and make love to you.

He placed himself at your feet, running his hands up your smooth skin, and leaving a hot trail in his wake. Shuddering at the sensation of his calloused hands, hardened over the years of training brushing over you now with the intent to pleasure you. Giggling, you clench your thighs together, taking in your bottom lip between your teeth.  Groaning with delight, he nestles his face between your legs, spreading them apart with caring hands, his mouth salivating at the sight of your soft weeping cunt. His heart hammered in his chest, hot breath fanning against your flesh, and his eyes glazed over as he glanced at you. With a grin , he softly presses his lips to your heat, never breaking eye contact as he dips his tongue between your slick folds. 

“Ah…!” You clasp your hand over your mouth, sucking in a sharp breath as he wasted no time to lap tentatively at your cunt, slurping eagerly and licking long, flat strokes from your entrance to your aching clit. You could feel him smile against your heat, amused at how easily you slipped up. Though, you could care less at the moment.

Every swipe of his tongue had you arching your back as he made your lower abdomen tighten, grinding your hips into his hot mouth, moaning pathetically against your palm. Fuck, already the man had you slobbering on his chin, drawing strained cries from you as he prodded heavily and drew deep lines within your folds. You swore you could see the heavens themselves from each tentative lick.

Yet your throaty sobs sent him into a sort of frenzy, spurring Kyojuro on to continue his depravity. The slick of your core had already been coated with your sweet nectar, smearing his lips and becoming drunk on your flavor. Lewd noises trickled from where he laid, wet muscle applying enough pressure to have you writhing. "K-Kyojuro...!" You whine against your palm.

Your free hand finds its way to his sleek hair and knotting into his strands, trying to separate yourself from him before you made a mess. Yet the attempt was fruitless. The vibrations of his groans and grunts have you falling apart even faster, screwing your eyes shut as you call out to him weakly. Your thighs engulf his head, trembling in his grasp as he begins to suck on your clit, lips wrapping around the bud and pushing you closer to the edge. The twitching of your thighs gave you away and he knew you were close. So close to tasting you as he did many nights before.

Thick fingers grip at your plush, keeping you open as he carved out your sopping cunt with intense laps, swirling his tongue around your bud.  The muffled whimpers drove him further, slick and spit dribbling from his mouth. With a broken mewl, you gush into his awaiting mouth and spasm, bucking your hips as he drank your juices happily, tasting every drop you offered. You sucked in deep breaths through your nose, afraid to trust yourself to not make a noise, you weakly locked your quivering limbs around his temple.

God, you could never get used to him and his skilled tongue, but you were not complaining.

Pulling off with a pop, he left your poor clit alone before nudging your mound with his nose and nudging your legs apart. As your high began fading, attempting to catch your breath, you didn’t notice the butterfly touches near your lower half. Kyojuro  pressed a series of small kisses from your tummy, brushing past the underside of your doughy breasts,  to your sternum, his lips grazing your supple flesh as he trails to your throat. He slotted himself between your thighs and leered down at you with a teasing grin, licking away your arousal from his lips. His shaft throbbed almost painfully, needing to be stuffed inside your sweet cunt, cockhead dripping with pre-cum. His sweet love needed time to rest but his patience began to wear thin.

The world be damned, Kyojuro will make you the mother of his children and make you [Name] Rengoku — he needs you now.

With your mind slipping into a haze, you could hardly grasp as Kyojuro sunk into you, sheathing his length deep within your slick. Slowly, he began thrusting into your tepid heat, breathless against you as he pinned you into the futon. But as his body collides with your feeble frame, your core clenches and pushes against him, eyes rolling to the back of your head at the painful stretch. The sensitivity from your last release still had not faded, and you could feel the ache building up once more. 

"Ngh, K…Kyojuro…!" You mewl, clinging onto his shoulders, digging crescent shapes into his skin with every rut of his hips, your body rocking back and forth from how deep his girth hits with each powerful thrust. "Ahhhah, p-please don't —ahh!" Your legs instinctively wrap around his thick waist, pulling him closer as he continues pumping into your body. The fear of being caught leaves you, shamelessly whining for your husband, tears cascading down your cheeks. How could you remain quiet when you're drowning in an abyss of absolute pleasure?

Kyojuro heatedly presses his lips against yours, swallowing your moans in an attempt to silence you, afraid of letting the cute noises he loves so much to continue in fear of your parents barging into your room – to see him defiling their sweet daughter. Yet with the way your cunt is clenching around him, he was struggling to keep quiet himself. It doesn't matter how many times he fucks you, it always left him breathless from how tight you were. He could only hope your folks were deep sleepers.

Though, plucking you this time felt different. Sneaking into your house and fucking you late at night seemed surreal to the man, even as he was currently nestled in your velvet slick. Perhaps it was because now, he was fucking you as your husband, not as your suitor, and now — may your families be damned if they didn't want you two together — Kyojuro will make sure nothing keeps you two apart. Even if it meant he'd be disowned and an outcast, you were worth every punishment. 

Fat, heavy balls slapped against your ass, the wet squelching of your dripping pussy overflowing the dark room. He could create a whole record from the sinful symphony alone, his knees digging into the blankets as he glided back in with ease, hand kneading the flesh of your ass. The man melted into you, breaking the kiss to bury his face in the crook of your neck, taking your flesh in-between his teeth. The pinch at your skin made you squirm, curving your spine and pressing your breasts flush against his chest. He could feel the way your pussy spasmed, struggling to adjust to his thick cock splitting you apart.

The immense warmth of your cunny had him reveling, thighs twitching and flexing as you constricted around his girth, his pelvis brushing past your aching clit. He let out a strained moan, nuzzling his nose into your skin, inhaling your sweet aroma. God, he could never get tired of the soft smell of vanilla and flour, reminiscing of the day he first walked into your family's restaurant. 

It seemed  heavenly almost, seemingly reliving the first night the two of you were intimate, except now, you two imprinted your bodies into your very family home. "Kyojuro, f-feels so… so good! Ah, love—mnnn….!" You whine, raking your nails across his shoulder blades.

"Shh, q-quiet, my love…," Kyojuro rasps, knowing the moment you start babbling, your orgasm would follow. Every stroke had your head spinning, needing more. "God… just–just a little longer… need you – mmh, fu—ck – to hold your pretty moans in… C-Can you do that for me?" 

He had been right as you ignored his pleads. You throw your head into the pillow, his name weakly rolling off your tongue as your body goes slack, releasing over Kyojuro’s length, weeping pussy painting a thick layer of your mellow slick on his shaft. Soft noises left him as your cunt swallowed him greedily into a snug grip at the moment of your orgasm. Hot breath fans against your flesh, kissing along your shoulder and across your collarbone. Fuck, you were tipping him over the edge, the thought of filling you up and having you carry the next line of Rengoku men making his chest swell.

 "Mmm, G-God…," he groans, the deep moan falling past his lips as he sinks back in,  eyes shutting tight the moment he grounds into your tepid heat. Blood rushing and the balls tightening, he starts chasing his own high, pumping desperately into you as quietly as he could. The man rolled his hips at the end of each thrust, groaning at the sensation of your fluttering walls pushing against him, repeatedly pulling out until the bulbous crown of his cock remained, slamming in and leaving you breathless against him. 

He wraps an arm around your torso, balancing himself on one of his forearms whilst pulling you impossible close, thrusting sloppily into you with strained moans. His entire body convulses, a groan drumming in his throat as he unravels, hips stuttering as he spills into you. Thick ropes of fertile cum coat your womb and he pulls out with a gasp. Fluids trickled from your heat and he bashfully looked away.

Kyojuro collapsed beside you, falling on his side, panting quietly whilst staring at your glossy face.  He gulped, blinkling back his own tears. "I love you, [Name]... more than anyone else," he whispers, caressing your cheek with his knuckles before cupping your face. "Thank you for agreeing to become my wife….”

Your lips tremble as you stiffle a sob, closing your eyes and placing your hand over his own, his fingers resting on your hip."I love you too, Kyojuro… Hah, I'm so…. I'm so happy.... you chose me...."

“I wouldn’t have it any other way….”

For a couple hours, you laid in his embrace, slumbering peacefully, believing he did the same. But he stayed awake, watching every rise and fall of your chest with a smile of content. Soon, he’d be able to see this everyday. After cleaning up, you two were careful to make sure your parents had not awoken as you gathered your personal items together, both small and large.

In the wee hours of the night before the crack of dawn, Kyojuro helped you pack your things into a bag, carrying them on his shoulders without so much as a complaint, ready to start his life with you. Yet, even as you were prepared to leave, you felt the least you owe your parents — who gave you everything and gave you the best life they could — an explanation. With trembling hands, you poured your thoughts and emotions into the letter, clarifying your departure from the house and how despite their best efforts, you fell in love with Kyojuro Rengoku.  Tearing up, you were honest that because you knew they would never accept him and try to keep you apart from him, you two would elope, far away from them.

As the sun began to rise and peek through the mountains, the two of you took off and never looked back. To where? You didn’t know. But as long as you were together, any place was home. As long as Kyojuro was by your side, you did not care.

The Heart of the Dragon was a mystic potency in the life cycle of nature, but when set ablaze, it was a force to be reckoned with — especially when protecting the one they hold dear most.

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

𝐵𝑜𝑛𝑢𝑠 𝑆𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑒: [𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑒 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑙𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔].

It's been a few months since you have eloped, as well as a while since the night you and Kyojuro slept together as husband and wife, a unique way of officiating your union without the blessing of either your families or a priest.

Of course, once you arrived at the Ubuyashiki Estate, you two were granted the wedding you dreamt of, with the Head of the Corps presiding. You looked so beautiful dressed in white, like an angel, and throughout the ceremony, neither you nor Kyojuro could take your eyes of each other. Not until your vows were sealed with a kiss did you two finally take in your surroundings. The blooming smiles and wide grins of the Pillars made your heart swell, knowing you had a new found family now, who fully supported your and Kyojuro's love.

And neither of you couldn't be happier - especially with a new life on the way. The man didn't let you lift a finger and pampered you excessively. Oftentimes, Kyojuro would laugh whenever the baby kicked your stomach, beaming as he said, "Hahah! They're just like their father — full of energy and ready to see the world already!"

Rolling your eyes, you smile wryly, peering at him occasionally whilst he rubs your swollen tummy. "Mhm, with a ravenous appetite too…," you mumble in between bites of your onigiri. He just couldn't wait to see his child, already tittering with names to possibly name them.

Every few days, he made sure you were participating in his family's long held tradition when carrying a child. In an effort to not let you be alone, he spends the two hours with you staring at the flaming torch, holding your hand and occasionally squeezing it. It made the experience all the more special.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

Though, for the time being, you were staying at the Butterfly Mansion in the last month of your pregnancy in case you went into labor early. The caterpillar girls aided you with glee during the time your husband was not available, determined you never exerted yourself. It was quite adorable really how they became excited when the baby kicked, chittering on how they couldn't wait to see them once they were born.

Though you knew Kyojuro would stop you one he found out, you helped in the kitchen and made many delicious meals for the household, always making sure each belly was full. Shinobu appreciated your help and often checked your health whenever she was home, the two of you chattering.

You make me happy, when skies are gray. 

However, Kyojuro received a new mission and had already departed to attend, promising you he would be back in time to see you give light to your child. He mentioned he sent a letter to his father's estate to notify them of your child's birth soon, hoping at the least, his father and brother got to know the new addition to the family.

Kneeling at your bedside, Kyojuro pressed a kiss to your temple, a kiss to your stomach, and a kiss to your lips. He pulled away and whispered with a soft smile, resting his hand on your tummy as he felt the prodding of the fetus kicking, "I love you, my sunshine… I'll be back in time for our son's birth…"

"I love you too, my love, but what if it's a girl?"

He hums, corners of his eyes crinkling as his lips stretch wider, "Then I hope she is as beautiful and healthy as her wonderful mother."

As you bid each other goodbye, you could not help the uneasiness pooling in your stomach. Yet you ignored it and continued your regular day, awaiting the return of your husband.

You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. 

If only you knew it would be the last time you'd see him again, then you wouldn't have let him leave in the first place.

So please, don't  take my sunshine away.

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

©ʀᴀɴᴅʏɴᴏᴠᴀ || ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ || ɴᴏ ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs, ᴇᴅɪᴛs, ᴄᴏᴘʏɪɴɢ, ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛɪɴɢ, ᴇᴛᴄ. ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴄɪʀᴄᴜᴍsᴛᴀɴᴄᴇs.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Gotham Villains x Hotel Owner!Reader || Headcanons

Explanation / Topic: You run one of the cities dingy hotels except this one, in all of its glory, is only ever visited by bad guys. Your hotel is well known as the place rogues hide away in when they're planning or they're just out of action for a while because you refuse to give up information to the police no matter what (Its proprietor-client confidentiality! Ha ha) and you're treat them fairly (Although- on the kinder side of course)

These are the many ways they show their gratitude, no matter how small.

Character involved: Most, if not all, of Fox Gotham's rogues. Except Ra's Al Ghul because he bores me. Nevertheless, not just the Legion Horrible's like the picture might lead you to believe- that's just the picture with the most villains that I could think of.

Warnings: Probably too much fluff. I'll make a sequel to this with the less-then-pretty, nitty grotty details of this hotel too probably XD

Barbara likes to invest every now and then, "Just making sure my affairs are in order baby- gotta make sure my hidey hole's still there when I need it." but she always adds a little something for you to buy yourself 'something pretty' (Since your style is SO plain, according to her but then again who isn't plain compared to her XD). This little something is always upwards of a hundred dollars. She's such a sugar mommy you cant convince me that she isn't-

Butch (Or Cyrus Gold, or Grundy. he has too many names) has made it clear that if you ever need help, you can always call him and he'll be there. Very gangsta about it. He's such a big, tough guy but such a softy on the inside XD When he had Grundy brain, he still had some kind of tracker in his mind like dogs do that took him 'home' (To your hotel), dragging Ed along with him. He gave you a big, bone crushing hug when he got there.

Dr Strange is not allowed in as he'll steal your guests and experiment on them.

You don't know Ecco too well yet and vice versa but when she turned up with Jeremiah and Jervis- you definitely appreciated her presence more then that of Jeremiah's. You were still sore over Jerome and didn't trust this new brother. Still, you complimented the bullet in Ecco's skull, saying it was pretty cool, and now she loves you XD When she's in the neighbourhood she occasionally likes to pop in and say hello; Spread a little chaos, you know the deal.

Honestly you probably new Bridgit long before Strange forcing upon her the heat resistance thing and her becoming Firefly. She of course didn't remember you but soon *warmed* up to you after you gave her one of the few rooms with a fireplace and easily forgave her when she accidentally set the couch in her room on fire (I mean its for sure not the worst thing that has happened within these walls- no worries). She has been known to go around lighting the fireplaces for you under the pretence of having fun (Which is true) but also so that you can worry about one less thing. Firefly is also one to come chat with you if she's bored.

Fish Mooney obviously doesn't stay with you very often at all, because this lady can find better dwellings (As, no offense but your hotel is kiiiiinda dingy. What can you do about it, though? You house rogues and a lot of them don't have a lotta money) but she still absolutely appreciates what you do. She'll send bad guys that she does business with that have deeper pockets then your usual client, your way. She's also kind to you, which to me is even better honestly haha XD

Headhunter stays with you a lot when he's on business and often reminds you that you get a discount from him if you require his services. Hey, you keep him in milkshakes! He's gotta repay you somehow.

Okay, the twins. You knew Jerome first and got off to a bad start with Jeremiah due to that. Still, we aren't talking about relationships; We're talking about nice things. So moving on. Just assume that you warm up to the brainier twin.

These two are hard XD Cuz their 'good' and 'bad' sides kinda blur together as they're so unpredictable and don't really care about anyone.

Still, I can see Jerome being pretty light with you and valuing the fact that you can keep up with his banter- so he keeps you alive. You're basically his mother actually, despite the possible lack of age difference. Like, he wants to show you stuff he does and tell you about chaos he's created.

And Jeremiah honestly appreciates that you'll listen to his long speeches (You've gotten pretty good at just sitting and nodding your head and you've perfected the art of the well placed understanding noises like 'Hmm' and 'Ah!' and 'Oh dear' in your line of work)- so obviously, you're invaluable to him. Must keep you around. I mean, Ecco listens, but does she really understand? That is the question.

When he's around, Jervis is very polite and gracious. He'll duck into the kitchens after dinner and start helping you with the dishes and clear dining tables, he'll ask you how you are and mean it (Like, he'll stand there and discuss it with you), he'll try to keep Jerome from barging into your room in the early hours of the morning, etc. Just nice things like that ^^

Magpie tries not to steal from you... Haha XD Like, she'll pick up a pretty clock off a mantle piece and then go to leave with it... then realise that this is yours and go 'Oops!!' and put it back, giggling nervously.

... When she leaves you still find various items from other places in the hotel, in her room, but still. The fact that she tries is enough!

Mr Freeze is a pleasure to have around, of course!! He's quiet, he nods to you when he passes, and he's there to freeze assholes that harass you (And then take them outside so they don't melt all over your carpet). A respectful dude. He has frozen Jerome multiple times... particularly when Jervis has been unsuccessful in persuading him not to wake you up at 3 in the morning.

Ivy gets so happy whenever she sees you. Lots of hugs and telling you all about how she's been. Her energy is enough to cheer you up, and on your birthdays she always brings you a new plant that has meaning to her. Like, a sunflower for how kind you are, a Ficus for abundance, etc. Always in a pot of course, never dead. So of course, you have to take care of them but its a small price to pay for the sweetness ^^ And the not being murdered thing.

Like Mooney and Barbara, Oswald doesn't stay often due to having that mansion from his father but he remembers your kindness from when he would fall on hard times before that (And after the fact, too of course) and whenever he's making some kind of mafia deal he always ensures your and your hotels safety in the contract.

Pyg / Lazlo (I cant decide which name I like best XD) is just very polite, like Jervis. Gentlemen. Also his impressions- God. Have fun with that. He might just do your favourite Looney Tune character if he's in a good mood.

With Ed... look, if you even try with his riddles without being prompted, he'll do anything for you. It's well documented. I'm not sur about nice deeds, cuz Riddler's kind of a dick, but he'll for sure send you a birthday card every year! Christmas probably too ^^

Scarecrow: I will not spray you today. You: Gee thanks. // No but seriously, he's quiet about his gratitude but he is definitely once of the good ones ^^ Would absolutely take it upon himself to come save your ass if you got abducted.

Tabitha... well, you know how Headhunter will you get a discount if you want someone killed? Tabitha will do it for fucking free.

Hey, if you feed Victor (Zsasz), you have a friend for life. He will bring pizza and just hang out together. He is also willing to murder someone for you.

[boop-le-snoot]

masterpost • main masterlist • taglist & faq

previously on...

Chapter 3 is finally here. Sorcerers need their shopping done, too. Beyonce/Wong platonic ship (joking)! And finally some action, more witchy stuff. Bucky whump because I have a saviour complex. Stucky cuteness moment. Some blood/gore in this chapter.

My insides clenched, seeing the yellow and blue notice taped to my door - the building manager rarely left notes, so whatever it was, it wasn't going to be good. I had managed to wind myself up into an anxious frenzy by the time I had gone inside and locked my door behind me, immediately thinking I would have to exhaust myself by turning to magic to keep a roof over my head.

For once, the news turned out to be positive: a neighbor was being evicted and turned in to the police for stealing packages. The building manager urged the tenants to report any missing items and apply for a refund when possible, apologizing for the inconvenience. I wondered what prompted this, basically unheard of in NYC, act of kindness as my altar stared at me with mocking amusement, pointing out the obvious by its mere presence.

Grinning to myself, I texted Odette - predictably, she was happy for me, happy that my protection spell had turned out strong and steady, and added a few tips of her own for my spell to stay that way. It felt like I'd grown invisible wings, those days, with all the possibilities open - and never once did I let myself entertain a thought of getting back at an enemy of the past for longer than five seconds.

Sure, it was perfectly human to consider making the cheating ex go bankrupt or make sure the college professor, that failed a couple of students each semester as a 'reality check', trips and face-plants at least once a day... I mean, who wouldn't experience a malicious sort of joy from petty revenge?

But I found my powers were best applied with a positive result in mind. My friend's cat was the first test rat- I mean, living creature I had practiced my healing spells on. The eleven year old kitty was struggling and both me and my friend loved the critter dearly - so the short, but tiring spell I performed yielded exactly the results I was expecting. Odette said something about genuine love backing up the magic, and- well, Dumbledore much?

On humans, it turned out, it wasn't nearly as simple. I didn't know what I had expected would happen after performing nothing short of a whole improv-performace type of ritual right in front of my very puzzled but hopeful friend with chronic asthma, but it wasn't the sheer exhaustion that ran bone-deep and left me bedridden for a whole day.

Odette visited my dingy apartment with her signature enormous purse full of vials she spoon-fed me and trinkets she strategically placed in and around my immediate sleeping area. "There, there," the woman patted my head as I pitifully moaned at the ear-splitting headache. "The first one is always the most challenging. After all, if it would be easy, everyone would do it."

I understood that. But at the same time, it felt unfair that no good deed went unpunished. I told Odette so, raising my voice to the best of my ability as she rummaged around my kitchen.

"Nothing in this world comes out of thin air, whatever you decide to give has to be taken from somewhere," she explained patiently. "People like us are considered hedge witches. We do solitary work and draw most of our energy from the Earth, from mother Nature. We cannot perform miracles, however, the cost of our spells are very low," I felt an immediate peak of interest at the simple yet effective explaination she gave me. "We remain mostly human. Gaia* is kind and generous to the ones who pay respect," Odette continued over the clatter of pans and pots. "There are other kinds of witches - who take from other people, who take from the dead. But taking something by force always leaves scars and taking something from the dead means bringing a piece of them back to places it should not be."

I pondered the words as Odette brought the kettle to a boil, the whistling shriek piercing through my skull like a sharp projectile. "What about Voodoo practitioners?" I couldn't hold back my curiosity.

Odette cleared her throat. "What is left of them is mostly not human. Their gifts are great but the costs are greater. They can live far, far longer than the average witch but their souls will know no peace, just like the souls of the dead they anchor to themselves over time," Odette entered the room with a bowl of tangy, creamy liquid that smelled like pumpkin soup. "We do not bestow any judgement upon our brothers and sisters but it is our duty to inform the young." She cast a pointed glance towards me, passing me the soup and a wooden spoon I didn't know I had. "This should help you recover. Take tomorrow off if needs be."

She left shortly afterwards and I hadn't much strength than to use the bathroom, wash the rune-engraved spoon and curl up in my bed, only waking up when the meager light shone over my face from the window. Sleepy and fog-tinted, the early morning NYC was damp and windy as I stuck my head out of the window to soak my sleep-heated head in the cool air.

As uneventful as the day at the café was, I still wasn't up to 100% energy-wise, but the long walk from Jeremy's to Odette's was pleasantly invigorating. I didn't find the cold autumn moisture displeasing; the small raindrops kept me awake and alert. Odette nodded in muted pleasure as I clocked in and returned the special spoon back to her. The runes on it were interesting; I had taken a picture of them for research purposes, fully intending to craft myself something similar.

"Odette has taken on an apprentice," Wong's voice had me take in several deep breaths in preparation for the inevitable fuck-fest on my patience. "She has been avoiding me. And the girl is painfully slow."

I didn't hear the answer of Wong's companion over the rustling of the boxes I was hastily shoving in their places before the Asian man's temper grew foul. More foul. Ugh. The sharp ding of the bell had me yelling a, "Just a second please, I'll be right with you," while trying to keep my tone polite.

Wong's sour face and a list of items required greeted me as I flew out of the backrooms, noticing the locked doors of Odette's office on my way out. Wong's companion stood at the far end of the store - his robes quite different from the ones I'd seen people of their kind wear, his lithe, tall figure seeming strangely familiar. I squinted my eyes at his back. "Is this all you need?" I waved the list around, increasing the volume of my voice.

The tall man turned around and I could only gape. He, in turn, also froze, the stern, unfriendly expression losing heat and giving way to perplexed wonder. "I had placed an order, for sorcerer Strange," Tony's boyfriend eyed me somewhat sheepishly under Wong's concerned gaze.

I nodded, eyeing Wong in turn, letting satisfaction nestle a warm ball in my chest. Stephen's look of displeasure had turned onto his... Colleague. By the time I finished retrieving Strange's order and packing up the items on Wong's list, the Asian man had left, leaving Stephen to sheepishly pretend to examine the books on the furthest shelf. I waved the paper bags as he took long strides towards me, his fancy, large necklace glimmering under the lights.

"So, how long have you been working here?" Sorcerer Strange asked after I told him the total.

The cash register beeped loudly, coins clattering on the desk as I counted out his change. "Some time now," I shrugged noncommittally. I felt his magnetic eyes gloss over my adornments, the star necklace, the various rings; I could practically feel him coming to his own conclusions. "Long enough for your colleague to get an attitude with me," I had to make sure he knew I would be taking no bullshit from him - or anyone else, for that matter. Odette's opinion on his kind was firm and I was heavily inclined to agree.

"Hmm, I see," Strange was equally as keen on hiding his curiosity. It was a funny thing, really, that we, being adults that we were, treated this encounter like some sort of a dirty secret. "Don't take it personally. Wong is like that with everyone," The man briefly scratched his beard with a gloved hand before pocketing his change and picking up the bags. "Except Beyoncè, maybe," the wink he threw me was positively mischievous as it caught me off-guard, giving him a fox-like appearance.

I sighed as the door shut behind him. Pretty white boys - the ultimate human disasters.

I had no time to dwell on them, however, as something - or someone, hit downtown with all the malicious intentions to wreak havoc on the innocent civilians calmly going about their day. Mutants and people who knew Odette came in hordes, scrapes and bruises and strange wounds that required imminent healing.

My boss was no rookie, she dutifully accepted each and every single soul, looking worse for wear with each minute. Not being able to withstand seeing her drain herself, I simply took over the simplest tasks - and she said nothing, just gave me a nod, instructed to use whatever I needed and write it down somewhere along with the name of the person who required the healing.

As the battle raged, the crowds thinned but the ones who managed to come to Odette's spouted more serious wounds, obviously a result of them fighting back. Mutants covered head to toe with coats and hats and robes, for me to swallow my shock when they undressed - horns, tails and weird skin textures were on the far end of the normal. I dutifully extracted small pieces of information from each and every person I treated.

Yes, the Avengers were winning. No, there aren't many people hurt, most of the damage is cosmetic. Yes, the villain of the week is as stupid as usual. It was like a mantra. Odette poked her head into the spare room every now and then, her eagle eyes briefly scanning over me to make sure I wasn't exterting myself.

As I applied the healing salve to a tiny, pink-skinned woman, bandaging up her hands, my boss entered and closed the door behind her, setting down on the creaky chair with a loud thud. "Just got the news, the Avengers apprehended the terrorist," she sighed long and slow. "We've done all we could, the next few days I'll be handling house calls so you'll be here on your own. I'll probably see you in a few days, don't hesitate to give me a call if something comes up," Odette seemed to be barely standing up, yet when she tore off a few pieces of her jewelry and chucked them into a big tin can under the sink, the glossy sheen in her eyes melted away.

"Okay," I mumbled under the watchful eyes of the mutant woman. "Will there be more people coming in today?"

"No," the woman in front of me snorted. "SHIELD is prowling the streets. They are not fond of us, they always say we intervene unnecessarily even though we willingly do their dirty work so our children could be safe," the bitter, harsh tone took me off-guard.

I had to admit, there was reason behind her words. "Will you be able to get home safely? I have a puffy coat and a hat you can borrow." Figuring an expensive taxi ride would be a better alternative to something terrible happening to the woman, I offered her my winter clothes.

She smiled at me, razor blade teeth and large, red eyes the kindest I'd ever seen on a person. In the end, she took the clothes, promising to bring them back in a few days and Odette gave me a parka that was too small for her frame - despite it smelling like someone's grandma's attic, I found it to be quite lovely vintage. The puffy knitted scarf she added felt like warmth and safety - she had to have knitted it herself, for I knew, handmade items carried a significant amount of energy in them.

The shop was eerily quiet as I cleaned and scrubbed the stained, dirty floors and disposed of the bloody clothes and bandages in the tiny, odd fireplace in Odette's office - that was a thing most peculiar, it burned everything I put in it, but had no chimney, no place for the smoke to exit. Magic.

Something banged loudly against the entrance door. I let out a startled shriek, broomstick falling out of my hand and adding to the sudden cacophony of noise as the figure behind the stained glass slowly slid down the door, a deep, male voice groaning something incomprehensible loud enough for me to hear.

Grabbing a large serrated knife we used for mincing the bones of small animals, I made quiet steps towards the door, seeing a large, obviously humanoid figure helplessly lean on the door. The man's arm glinted chrome black and gunmetal grey in the low light. "Sargent Barnes? Bucky?" I whisper-shouted, carefully plying open the door.

He lifted his head, blood dripping down from it, his face looked like someone went to town on it with a meat mullet, his eyes were unfocused and couldn't keep a straight line. His flesh arm leaned heavily on the door frame, the prosthetic hanging limply, dragging his whole body to its side. It must've weigh a ton.

"Я должен найти капитана Роджерса," he whispered.

I didn't understand Russian at all but I could make out the name of his boyfriend. Which made sense. Bucky looked severely concussed - I idly wondered what exactly they had been fighting, what could have given a freaking super-soldier such a brain-leaking injury. "Sargent Barnes, follow me," I put on my big girl shoes and used my momma bear voice, towing the man behind me.

He, too, weighed a ton, as I stumbled, helping him into the chair in the spare room that became my healing station for today. The longer I looked at Bucky, the less lucid he grew, eyes falling shut as he murmured something in jagged Russian, slurring his words.

There was no time to think about the consequences of exposure of my witchcraft; mortar and pestle, herbs and salves flying everywhere, I assembled a healing spell and memorized the according ritual in what felt like record time. He was bleeding all over the chair, fresh crimson blood pouring out of his nose and mouth and it was all I could see.

I hadn't known true terror until the blood that poured out turned black. Whatever it was in him, it was poisonous - my protection charms grew hot, scalding as they left marks on my skin; powering through the pain and unable to turn my eyes off the convulsing Barnes, I finished the chant just as the flow of vile, tar-like liquid suddenly ceased. It pooled around his feet, dripped down the armrests and matted his long hair. It reeked, too, of copper and putrid meat.

Bucky had passed out somewhere mid-spell, the slow, steady breathing bringing me my own sense of calm. To say that I was drained would be an understatement - my vision swam and my world spun on it's axis as I unlocked Odette's office to messily rummage through a cabinet for the emergency tonic I knew she kept there. I chugged the vial, an avalanche of almost anxious, jittery energy hit me like a freight train - exactly what I needed.

I bought myself a couple hours of time. Cleaning up the sludge around Bucky's feet and removing the outer parts of his gear was easy as he remained as relaxed as a cooked spaghetti noodle. The amount of weapons he had on him was impressive, but those weren't what I was looking for - his phone. It was dead, so I plugged it in, waiting for the 5% to show and bringing it to his fingertips, hoping he used the print recognition instead of the password option... And I lucked out.

"Hello, this is Star, I found a Bucky. Tell Dr. Strange to come get him, he knows where I am." I texted the "Stevie ❤️" contact, my inner fangirl self squealing at the dorky name of his boyfriend's contact in Bucky's phone. Shortly afterwards, I went ahead and snapped a picture of myself next to sleeping Bucky, figuring out some actual proof wouldn't do any harm in this bizarre situation.

The answer didn't let me wait long. "10 minutes" came the first text, and shortly afterwards - "Is Bucky okay??????". I had to snort at the amount of question marks before honestly replying "He will be ☺️" and putting the phone back in Bucky's pocket. I cleaned up and attempted to lift Bucky up, succeeding in waking him up into a half-lucid state, probably courtesy of decades of training and whatnot, to at least drag him to the front of the store. I wasn't particularly comfortable with strangers seeing the backrooms.

Bucky leaned with his back against the counter, ass flat on the floor and a towel with a cold compress pressed to his head when the doors all but flew open, revealing Captain Rogers, still in uniform and Stephen Strange, arguing with his boyfriend, both still suited up and bloody and grimy.

"Uhh," I blinked owlishly, causing the men to stop bickering and stare first at me, then at Bucky. "I think he hit his head," I offered weakly, backing up slightly at the amount of burning eyes staring at me.

"Shortcake, that you?" Tony's eyebrows rose as he surveyed the bodega, the items on the shelves, the black and red blood stains on my previously pristine, yellow shirt.

"Now is not the time, Tony. Go with Rogers, make sure the medical is prepared for Barnes and disable his arm," Strange barked out authoritatively, shooting me a puzzled but compassionate look. "The portal is open. I'll talk to Star, find out what happened." He advanced towards me as Captain picked up Bucky bridal-style as tenderly as he could while making sure the compress stayed on.

"Keep that tone fo the bedroom," Tony's voice was more than displeased as he shot me and Strange a hurt look, but followed Steve into the golden circle right outside the door before it sparked shut.

"Now, now, what happened here?" The sorcerer's voice lowered into a soothing drawl as I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. My shoulders sagged, fingers twitching with anxious energy. The man extended a gloved hand, briefly squeezing my shoulder. "It's alright, take your time."

Damn, did I look that bad?

Taglist: @couldntbedamned @mikariell95 @letsby @sleep-i-ness @toomanyrobins @mostly-marvel-musings @persephonehemingway @schemefrenzy @lillsxd @bluecrazedandbeautiful @slothspaghettiwrites

[punkrock-writer]

Space Cowboy- Part 1

Having a Very Bad Time at Disney World

Pairing- Din Djarin x F!OC

Warnings- Swearing. A lot of bad words. Mild Violence. 

A/N- The response to this fic is overwhelming I woke up and wanted to cry, thank you to everyone who liked and reblogged and followed me. And thank you to everyone who went to AO3 and left kudos and comments ily. This introduces my OC Sedona. She's a little rough around the edges but I hope you like her. Feel free to message me or comment if you like it or hate it, I like talking to people. Thank you again. 

Prologue AO3 Wattpad 

The musty, thick, Florida humidity did little to stop her body from practically vibrating as she gazed up at the sight before her. The grand entrance to Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge stood proudly, casting an arch shaped shadow that she stepped into to get a better look. Faux sandstone and waving flags beckoned her into the park, and she gladly followed with a face splitting smile. She had been saving for this trip for what felt like a life time; overtime had finally payed off, and she couldn't wait to spend an entire week in "the happiest place on earth"...

Or so she thought.

Sedona smiled as the butterflies fluttered in her stomach, gazing up at the Millennium Falcon was like a dream. The ship was massive, and fit snugly within the surrounding attraction. She wouldn't consider her self a 'super fan'- she doesn't know the names of the planets in a galaxy far far away, and she definitely couldn't name all of the different space races- but the beauty of the universe awakened the child that was buried deep in her soul. Nostalgia and adult money were a deadly combination.

It didn't help that the casting department knew how to cast the perfect eye candy to keep a grown woman entertained.

She dragged herself away from the massive ship. Though she told her self she wasn't obsessed, she still unconsciously decided to carve an entire day out of a week long trip just to roam around Batuu. She took as deep a breath as she could of the hot air, just beginning to get used to the uncomfortable way her hair curled and clung to the sweat on her neck. The air smelled like an amusement park, little kids vomit, sweat, and caramel corn. She walked leisurely, her sandals dragging on the pavement as she passed stalls and a makeshift cantina, making her way under another gigantic arch. Voices and music filled her ears, she let her guard down, allowing herself to completely absorb the atmosphere.

If she hadn't been gazing up at the architecture of the buildings surrounding her, she would've been able to react quicker.

An insanely bright blue light flashed in her face followed by a high pitched whine, similar to your grandpas weird old camera.

Startled she took quick steps back, her vision foggy as she struggled to clear the blotches that stayed behind when the light went away. But when she can see the sight before her fills her with confusion and anger.

"What the hell is this Men in Black Comic-Con, who are you?" Holding her tongue had never been her strong-suit.

There was a tall, old, white man in a black suit and sunglasses. Typing something into an iPad, not paying any mind to the girl he just attempted to blind. She made the move to step toward him when his head moved away from her, looking upwards and to the left.

"So this is the one" he wasn't even looking at anyone, and then she noticed the tiny bluetooth device in his ear. Her brow furrowed deeper, her mouth set in a frown. Her hand lifted and mouth opened simultaneously but before she could yell at him further, an object was thrust in her outstretched hand.

That's when her head split open.

Her empty hand instantly flew to her forehead, eyes squinting shut as she tried to control her breathing. It literally felt like her skull was cracking down the middle, lights danced underneath her eyelids, she curled into herself in the middle of the Disney World street.

"Mother fuck" she spat out the words, cracking one eye open to look for the man, but he had disappeared. Leaving her with a migraine and gadget that looked like the worst dildo in the world.

The growl that ripped through her throat was inhuman. One hand still covered her left eye as she charged in the direction she thought the man could've gone. Most likely looking like the angriest bitch in the entire park. Her fist clenched around the metal piece that was in her right hand, swinging it as her flip flops smacked against the cement. She didn't know where the hell he went but she was going to find the prick an-

"Miss are you okay?" A timid female voice flitted from her left side. She spun quickly, another wave of pain crashed over her, she couldn't fathom how she looked right now to the poor mother and her young child. A fist covering her left eye as her face contorted into a snarl, her other hand clutching some kind of metal object. Her chest heaving and leaning awkwardly into her left side.

"I'm fine" she grumbled, before marching further on her war path. She missed the way the mother quickly bundled the child into her arms, rushing into the opposite direction as quick as she could.

━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━

Sedona attempted her murderous trek for as long as she could. Searching the park for the mysterious business man who had fucked with her relaxing vacation. But sooner than she would've liked the pain overwhelmed her. Begrudgingly she boarded a Disney bus and made her way back to her hotel room. The device had been tossed into her purse, not wanting to get rid of it, so she could beat the man with it when she found him.

Yet another shuddering wave of pain ripped through her as she flung open the door to her room. Quickly shutting and locking it behind her, the first thing she did was pull her hair from its ponytail. Her hair, damp and curly from sweat hung to her shoulders, she ran both hand through it, taking a deep breath of the air conditioning. The next to go was her purse, which she unceremoniously flung onto the bed as she stomped forward. Her flip flops were kicked off at the end of her bed. Peeling the sage green sundress off her sweaty body, she rifled through her suitcase.

Nothing good ever happens when I wear a fucking dress.

Satisfied with her choice of pajamas she shuffled into the bathroom. Pausing for a moment to glare into the mirror. Taking in the mess of a girl who couldn't even keep her eyes all the way open. She pivoted to the shower, praying the cold water would do some kind of good for the aggressive pounding behind her eyes.

She stayed in the shower till she was shivering. The headache only diminishing slightly, and the gaudy scent of the hotel toiletries didn't really help. Grappling two thin towels from the rack above the toilet she rolled her hair into one atop her head, the other she quickly dried herself off. She didn't really want to spend much longer in the dampness, wanting a nap much more.

Her pajama choice was simple, a men's 3XL Big and Tall black T-shirt, and a pair of Mandalorian printed MeUndies. No, no, she definitely wasn't a super fan. She exited the bathroom, bee-lining for her massive suitcase that was perched on the bed. Plopping down she hauled it into her lap, searching through the many pockets for the one containing her emergency first aid kit, and she sighed in relief when she finally found the bottle of Advil. As she unscrewed the top she glanced at her purse, a strange blue light emitted from within it.

She reached over her suitcase, grabbing her purse and setting it into the bag on her lap. She couldn't help the eye roll as she pulled the device from the depths. It was a simple looking thing. A long pill shape, with an indented seam running the entire edge, and one small thumb-print size button in the middle. The button pulsated it's annoying blue light slowly, beckoning someone to press it.

"I don't have the energy for this shit" she grumbled. Maybe it was the headache making her loopy, but she placed her thumb over the indentation, without much of a hesitation.

And of course it started to vibrate.

She would've laughed if the vibration wasn't followed by the entire outer seam of the device growing brighter with the same blue light.

"Travel begins in 5 seconds. Please gather all items needed for travel"

Sedona's eyes grew wide as her brow furrowed in confusion. The mechanical voice didn't give her much time to think.

This can't be real.

4

Panic rose in her throat, her eyes searched the device, flipping it in her hands as it began to grow brighter and brighter.

3

On instinct she gathered both of her bags closer to her chest. The massive suitcase not really yielding much.

2

Her breathing grew quicker, matching the aggressive buzzing of the device in her hand.

1

"Fucki-"

And suddenly she is falling. Rapid descent lifts the towel from her head, and she can feel wind rushing past her face. She squeezed her eyes shut, but she could still tell that she was falling through and insanely bright blue tunnel. Faster and faster until.

BANG

Her knees are folded underneath her, taking the entire collective weight of her body and both of her bags that fall on top of her. She swears she hears a pop, and can feel a burning pain rip up her knees to the top her thighs.

She deeply inhales, slamming her hands onto whatever metal floor is in front of her.

"MOTHER FUCKER"

[not-so-mundane-after-all]

Fandom: DC Titans

Title: Heaven is a Place on Earth

Pairings/Relationships: Dick Grayson/Kory Anders, Core Four

Summary: Stargazing was really relaxing and helped with her shattered nerves but Kory knew deep down she needed something more. 

Check out the prompt list | REQUESTS OPEN

Hand-holding | 43. raising the other’s hand to their lips to kiss it softly, Dickkory - for Vanessa N Isaacs 

When she abruptly woke up, her breathing rapid and heartbeat racing, all she could feel was fire.

Kory's used to fire coursing through her veins, but this time it's not the warm and comforting power of her Starfire, it's a conflagration, turning her into a pile of ashes. Sweat was dripping from her face, lungs refused to cooperate and the only thing on her mind was run, get out.

Throwing the tangled covers away in a hurry she slipped off the comfortable mattress to sit down at the edge of the bed. She wanted to run her fingers through the messy bush of her curly purple hair but she noticed her palms were giving out a soft orange glow. The waves of heat were flowing underneath her skin like water in the river during a storm. The sight could be almost calming but it only added fuel to the fear squeezing Kory's chest.

"It was just a dream," she whispered, closing her eyes, her fingers curling into fists. "Just a fucking dream."

She ordered herself to steady her breathing, to calm down her raging heart. She looked over her shoulder at Dick, who remained asleep on his side of their bed, facing away from her. In the faint light coming from the window she could make out the outline of his bare back. Watching him breathe in his sleep calmed her down a bit but she knew it won't do the trick after the horrors she just witnessed in her mind.

So she stood up and as quietly as she could stepped out of the room.

***

The door to Rachel's room creaked when she opened it and Kory froze. She waited five seconds, holding her breath, but the girl didn't wake up. Kory didn't mean to enter anyway, she just wanted to slide her head in to sneak a glance, that's all.

Rachel slept soundly curled up in her bed, wrapped in her blankets so tightly that only the top of her head was visible. Kory's heart slowed its pace a little, knowing that the girl was alright. She leaned her head on the doorframe and smiled fondly. She could never sleep like that, she'd feel trapped, not to mention how hot it'd be under all these blankets, but Rachel loved the heat. She loved to bury herself in the covers and pillows and soak up the warmth, especially when she didn't have anyone to cuddle with and share body heat - usually that person was Dick.

She's okay, Kory told herself when the images from her nightmare flooded her mind again. She's okay and she's sleeping so stop being paranoid.

She closed the door with a soft click and moved to the bedroom next door - Gar's. Peering inside she let out a quiet laugh. The boy was sprawled out on top of the covers, arms and legs spread in every direction. His mouth was slightly open and the soft snoring sound he was making made Kory giggle so hard she had to press her hand to her mouth to keep it quiet. He's okay, she told herself and closed the door behind her, a fond smile still tugging at her lips.

It was just a dream. The kids are alright.

Then why was she still shaking? Why was her heart still trying to break out of her chest? Why were her hands still glowing? She didn't- She didn't, right? She just checked. The kids are alright.

There's no going back to bed, Kory knew it. So her bare feet carried her further down the hall to the living room and out on the balcony. She stepped out into the chilly night air, not feeling a bit cold despite having only a gray tank top and pink shorts on. Leaning on the railing with her hands folded in front of her she looked up and took a long, deep breath.

The sky was exceptionally clear tonight, the stars scattered around were shining like glitter, she could even make out a few constellations. Such views are rare in cities like San Francisco - at least that's what Dick told her once. Something about pollution in the air and tall buildings covering the sky.

Stargazing was really relaxing and helped with her shattered nerves but Kory knew deep down she needed something more. Something that unfortunately was out of reach this time.

Back on her home planet whenever she felt the need to clear her mind or get her unstable powers under control, she would take a small ship for a ride and spend a few hours drifting in space, close to Tamaran's orbit, watching those little shiny dots from up close. Oh, to be stardiving again! It was the only time she, Koriand'r, Princess of Tamaran, could be truly alone - no royal guard, no servants, no nobles, politicians or other royal family members, close or distant. She missed soaring through hyperspace, twirling between asteroids, surfing on stardust. The other day during a movie night the team was watching one of the Star Wars movies (Gar wanted a whole marathon and he was stubborn as hell about it) and at some point Kory had to excuse herself and run to hide in the bathroom because she was one second away from crying. Seeing the vast space, the ships, even the hyperspace tunnel (that didn't look like this in real life at all but that's not the point) felt like getting repeatedly stabbed in the heart. It brought back memories that were fond and happy but stung like a fresh cut. Her heart couldn't take it. 

Being out there felt almost heavenly, it just made all your worries go away, even if only for a moment. No duties, no laws, no control, nothing - just her and the stars. The lights, the colors, the feeling of being light as a feather… she missed being instantly healed from her worries thanks to all that.

But things are different now. Back then Kory took every opportunity to run away from her duties and responsibilities and hide between the stars. Now she was here on Earth - with new duties and new responsibilities. And she found herself realizing that for the first time in her life she doesn't want to get away from them, even for a moment of quiet and peace. She had this team now, this family, two amazing kids she and Dick were raising together - she couldn't just take off whenever she felt like it. She wasn't a princess anymore, but she was a freaking superhero, a friend, a girlfriend and most of all - a mother. 

She looked at her hands again, feeling that her lower lip was starting to tremble. If that dream had been real, if the kids really were… if she really-

"There you are," she heard a sleepy voice behind her and turned to find Dick standing in the doorway. He was barefoot as well, only in sweatpants and a t-shirt he must have thrown on when he got up. He was watching her with curious eyes, but not without a hint of worry. "What are you doing here in the middle of the night?"

She gave him a faint smile even though she could feel tears welling up behind her eyes. One glance down told her that her palms were still glowing so she hid them behind her back. 

"I just needed some fresh air."

His gaze lost all signs of curiosity - now it was just worry. He stepped out onto the balcony, closing the door behind him.

"Nightmares?" he guessed.

She shook her head and sighed, "Dick…"

"Kory…" he shot back mocking her tone, half playful, half serious and she instantly knew she lost that fight. Once he noticed something was wrong he wasn't going to back down. It was their children who taught him that patience and resilience with their own night terrors and shutting down.

Dick walked up to her and leaned back against the railing, crossing his arms over his chest. Kory turned back to the city view and fixed her eyes on the buildings but she could feel his gaze boring into her skull, studying her, trying to read something from her face.

"It was nothing." she finally told him, not being able to stand the pressure anymore.

"If you're out here at 3 am watching the stars, it's not nothing."

She winced and looked away. Damn it, sometimes she forgot how well he knew her. It's one of the things she loved so much about him - he could break her down to pieces and put back together with one single glance.

She dropped her head, squeezing her eyes shut. Part of her wanted to tell him, he was only trying to help after all, but at the thought of putting that nightmare into words a painful lump grew in her throat. She shook her head helplessly, her lips pressed into a thin line. She couldn't do it.

His hand slipped across her back and Kory shivered when he moved closer to embrace her. It was a hesitant hug, he wanted to comfort her but was mindful of her needing space and acted carefully, ready to step back if she wanted him to.

She didn't.

"You know you can tell me, right?" he whispered, leaning closer to her face. Their eyes met and after a long moment full of dread Kory uncurled her fingers wrapped around the railing, revealing a soft orange glow that illuminated their faces.

"I lost control," she breathed out, her voice wobbly. "My Starfire got out of hand and… I hurt the kids."

Her voice broke and she lost the fight to keep her tears at bay. She leaned into Dick who instantly wrapped his arms around her, letting her hide her face in the curve of his neck.

"They begged me to stop and I- I couldn't." She was full-on sobbing now. The dam finally broke. "I felt nothing, I was empty. But I can still hear Gar screaming, I can feel Rachel's skin melting under my hand…"

She couldn't get another word out, it was too much. Kory couldn't remember the last time she cried this hard, but now she wasn't able to stop. Dick held her tightly against him, rubbing her back.

"Kory, you would never do that-"

"You don't know that!" She cried out, ripping herself out from his embrace. His arms fell helplessly to his sides as he watched her with pain and worry written all over his face. Kory lifted her hands in front of her, showing him the pulsing fire beneath her skin. "I woke up and my hands looked like this. I didn't do anything while I was asleep but how can I know I won't do it next time?"

Dick took a step closer.

"Kory-"

"How can I know I won't hurt Rachel or Gar - or you - when I'm like this? How-"

"Kory!" he called out to her and stopped her panicked rambling by grabbing her hands in between his own. He locked eyes with her before he pulled her closer, trapping their joined hands between their chests and then spoke softly but with total conviction.

"Kory, this is not gonna happen."

She tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "How do you know?"

Dick smiled, then slowly lifted her hands to his lips and kissed them softly. 

"Because I know these hands," he whispered tenderly and lifted his eyes back at her. "They are capable of many things but they would never hurt our kids in any way. You would never do that, Kory. I know that and Gar and Rachel know that, too."

Her heart almost melted when she heard him say our kids. They both loved them more than anything in the world. And that love is what brought them together, tying them to each other like an invisible string.

Blinking away her tears Kory finally smiled and leaned her forehead against his.

"Have I ever told you that I love you, Grayson?"

He let out a quiet chuckle and let go of her hands, wrapping his arms around her waist instead.

"Maybe once or twice."

She looped her arms around his neck relishing in his closeness. They stayed like that, forehead to forehead, until her heartbeat came back to normal and the last of her tears had dried out.

"We can go check on them if you want." he suggested softly, gazing into her eyes. She brushed her nose against his.

"I already did. I almost didn't notice Rachel under all those blankets."

Dick chuckled and Kory felt her heart skipping a beat at the sight of dimples that appeared on his face. Great X'Hal, she was head over heels for this man.

"Yeah, she loves to turn herself into a burrito," he nodded, smiling tenderly. "And let me guess, Gar's spread out on his bed as wide as he can, isn't he?"

"Like a fucking starfish." she giggled, shaking her head. "Funny how he'd take up a lot less space if he actually turned into one."

"Oh, don't give him ideas." Dick shot her a warning look but his gaze wasn't serious and his voice sounded giddy. "Remember what happened last time he turned into a sea creature?"

They both burst out laughing so hard Kory had to lean her head on Dick's shoulder. Yeah, she remembered a giant green dolphin in the middle of their living room damn too well. Gar was so panicked he forgot how to turn back and although it was a bit scary back then, now it was one of the best embarrassing stories they loved to tell and he hated to hear.

When their laughter died down they both sighed in content and found themselves lost in each other's eyes again. Dick reached out to tuck an unruly purple curl behind her ear.

"So what do you wanna do?" he murmured, his low voice sending shivers down her spine. She looked up at the stars again and smiled. She didn't need to drift between the stars to feel like she's in Heaven - she found it here, in the loving arms of the best man she has ever known.

"This." She breathed out and leaned in to press her lips to his, softly at first as a sign of gratitude, but then his arms gripped her tighter and he deepened the kiss, putting more passion into it. And the galaxy of stars lit up behind Kory's eyes, the fire in her veins spreading out from her palms through her entire body. It wasn't dangerous and scary anymore, but warm and bright, like the love she felt for her new family.

Yeah, who needs stardiving when Heaven is a place on Earth?