#I didn't get motivated for this at all 8|
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I'm seeing several popular react to the Penguin show with "God I wanna see Batman kick his ass in the next movie". Which, for a show about a Batman villain, is probably an indication of succeess
Are you kidding me it fucking rules, there's no "probably" here, the show couldn't possibly have achieved what it set out to do harder.
I've talked with people, as Episode 7 was coming out, that they've managed to strike this perfect balance between making Oz the fun engaging protagonist to watch, and making him a villain that we'll want to face justice, opposite Sofia who tread the line between his Batman Villain arch-nemesis as well as the closest the show has to a hero. The camera loves her, the costume designers and hair stylists love her, the showrunner calls her the hero of the show, production folks who go on the podcast talk about how she was their favorite character to work on, while Oz, the protagonist, only grew darker and more despised and more fucked-up as the weeks passed, as we sit through 8 hours chipping away at all of his fun and charm and wacko comedy antics and motivations and all the scruples and principles that he turns out to have less and less of, that become less and less useful to him, until he butchers them all in the very end along with the heart of the show.
As I saw it around week 6, by the time this thing was over, Sofia would demand to be received with tragic applause and heartbreak and whooping cheers and love, but Oswald would have the children of the world booing and hissing and throwing eggs and tomatoes at him, and then asking him to come back so they can do it again. AND I WAS RIGHT, and also I WILDLY underestimated the degree to which that would be warranted, and I certainly didn't expect that, for the first time in my life, I would be unconditionally and enthusiastically on the same side as everyone who posted that Arkham scene, where Batman picks up Penguin and smashes him against a mirror, as something Battison has to do in the next movie. I couldn't believe what a stab to the heart that last episode was.
I'l get into the specifics of why this worked more on the Episode 8 breakdown and, granted, it's a lot to conciliate still, it's genuinely a strange feeling to be onboard with everyone else who wants Penguin to be flattened and crushed and humiliated, to truly hate him as a loathsome monster for the first time ever even as I love him in so many new fucked-up ways. This is, make no mistake, the good version of the Joker's Asylum one-off, Pain and Prejudice, Bullies, all those modern stories that are ultimately about nothing more than reminding you of a super-duper serious evil bastard this funny little man is, stories I generally just find too dumb and reductive and ugly and tasteless and trying so very damn hard to be scary without working for it. This was Lauren LeFranc slam dunking everyone who's picked up this character since Jason Aaron in 2007, including Jason Aaron himself, and wherever they take him in the next movie, or if they can justify another season of this, they've fully set him up more than ever as a guy we will want to be exploded by the Batmobile, that he not only fully deserves it, but must, be defeated for good.
Beyond impressed, don't think I could have ever anticipated how much I wanted this.
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When I'm closing out at work and I've had a shitty day I blast MCR on the radio speakers. The louder it is the worse of a day I had 🙂
#jane journals#not self ship#vent#negative#BUDDY IT WAS PRETTY FUCKIN LOUD TONIGHT#zombie by the cranberries came on and i tried to sing it as loud as i could to relieve some tension ajfkgkg#but mannnn tonight suuuucked 😭#ok the way closing works ofc is we're slower in the late afternoon so i have time to get a head start on cleaning and stuff#but a BUNCH of old people came in and ordered a bunch of shit and we had steady people from that point on#not to mention some regulars coming in 10 MINUTES BEFORE CLOSING#i was SO BEHIND on the cleaning and i didn't lock those doors till 8!! im supposed to/usually leave at 7:20-7:30#i guess half an hour doesnt seem like a lot but god it fucking felt like it#especially cause its ALL cleaning. sweeping and mopping and dishes and trash bags and vacuuming and then counting out the drawer 😮💨😮💨#honestly........sportacus helped me thru it 👉👈 again#its no wonder his actor was a motivational speaker ajfjgkg it was effective#and now im omw home!!#gonna have chicken and salad for dindin#and watch some lazytown ☺️☺️
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i don't feel like looking for it rn bcus of the mood i find myself in but i need to like. tattoo that post about wishing your mind would be kinder to you and then remembering that you have to do that on my fucking eyelids.
#little rock.txt#venting#it's not even. specific. i've just been in kind of a shitty mood for a few days#like i thought i knew what had triggered it so i walked myself through some thoughts on that#but i'm still just. vaguely pissed off all the time.#i don't feel particularly motivated to write the important things or talk or draw or do fuck all#like i Have done stuff. i did my laundry bcus i have work and if i didn't get a clean bra together my chest dysphoria was going to get Bad#but i've stayed up until 7-8 a.m. and woken up at 2 p.m. both of my days off#i'm supposed to be helping plan a pathfinder mission and i can't think that hard about fucking anything#i'm just tired and angry and trying to keep up appearances bcus i don't want to be tired or angry anymore#but sleeping and trying to nurse myself through my feelings don't Work bcus i'm Not Good At Them Yet#i know people love me and i'm trying so fucking hard to love myself too bcus i don't want to let them down#anyway. sorry. rant over. if you live with me uuuhh sorry i've been like this the last few days. i don't. super want to talk about it.#i need to call my doctors is what i need to fucking do but i'm gonna try to do that after work
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tfw when you get a rush of inspiration and the scattered pieces in your head connect >>>>
#this happened to me with siphon. this happened to me with crash.#and now its happening again with tint and shade#JK THEYRE NOT CALLED THAT ANYMORE IM CHANGING THEIR ENTIRE LORE#i felt it was too similar to ink/siphon's lore....... the twins lore was the first i ever made so i didn't tske into consideration#the lore everyone else would have#i did an EENSY bit of research for this. all my inspiration for this was two goddamn theater masks#if i manage to finish them today or tomorrow or the day after that it would be great#then that would only leave me with crash and vice.SER to think about#and then i could get to work on the actual multiverse interactions#GOOOOOD who knew making an entire fucking multiverse with only 8 characters was gonna be this hard#it ok tho bc ive really been thinking about my character's lore and coming up with cool backstories.........#i rlly hope people like swapinverse i really hope people SEE swapinverse#id kms if nobody did because i really love these characters i made and i don't wanna keep them hostage for this long#insipiration and motivation comes in waves for me im sorry ☹️☹️☹️ if im not inspired i won't work on swapinverse#tricule rant#ok but its only been like 10 days of summer break and im already i think more than halfway done....??? hopefully????#maybe ill ACTUALLY finish swapinverse by the end of this summer break and then maybe be able to show it to people.........#would people be into my ocs. would they even like them. i mean like maybe#but tbfr idrk. i don't know if i wanna make an ask blog or make comics#i was thinking of doing a bunch of different mediums for this but idk#maybe i could make comics for the mst and write for siphon/crash and then make big pieces with tidbits of lore for the twins#STILL have no idea what the fuck im gonna do with vice.SER. i'll grt to him eventually
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The point (one of them) is that both Aziraphale and Crowley actually think they the smartest one in any given situation. And since I relate to Aziraphale much more today I get fixated on his brand of superiority. He starts his journey with rebellion from pretty tame "I don't get why they makes this desisions and it's look horrible on surface evel but I'm sure that they get best ineterests of everyone involved in their hearts and it's probably me the one that didn't get some oblivious detail" to "oh okay I'm sure it's some kind of misundestanding and we can all talk it out as adults because we there work on same goals" to frustrated "they won't ever listen to me and I will get in trouble for arguing and it will be better for everyone if I will make my desisions in secret and go behind their backs because I just can't let THEM make desisions that will destroy everything". It's not straightforward, I'm 30 and still circulate sometimes between "what if it's me the one that wrong aout everything" and "god HOW people can be THAT stupid", but I remember going throught this stages first as good and obedient kid with really stupid parents making stupid desisions and later with school, govermnet, activist spaces etc.
And the problem is, I was the smartest person in the room enough time to develop issues, and Aziraphale lives like his for 6000 years at least. I can only imagine how many times he thought "if only Starmaker listen to me and didn't Fall", "if only God listened to me and didn't make an Apocalypse happen", "if only Heavens listened to me and didn't did this or that that thing", "if only Crowley listen to me and understand in what kind of danger we can get", "if only that human listened to me and haven't dig the body", etc etc. It's awful, to be the one who always gets to say "I told you so", especially when there's such awful consequenses you can't even feel satisfaction, and you will be the one to clen this mess up (and Aziraphae will clean, or better try to prevent). Now, it's of course leads to issues. BIG issues.
1) It's really hard to stop being plotting and maciavellian and communicate things properly when you expect that person will at best argue with you, at worst punish you and double down on their stupid desisons and you will clean this mess up. It also really hard to stop trying to control everything because you already accepted that everything is your responsibility and everyone else would just make things worse. (as someone that relates to Aziraphale I think he did so much progress there, the levels or trust he shows Crowley are amazing for two beings that probably last time heard of psychotherapy when Freud was alive. but such trust is fragile thing, one misstep and you back on your "it will be better if I do everything alone" bullshit. I'm not saying it's good. I'm also not saying that it's bad. it's just how things work)
2) It makes you overstep other people authonomy, because, again, it would be better for everyone if they did what you think best for them. It works funny wih Aziraphale because yes he's all for free choices for humanity!! NOW GO AND DO SMART CHOICES DAMN YOU!!! WHY YOU DON'T PICK THE THING THAT WOULD BE SMART TO PICK I HATE YOU ALL. That's where me and Aziraphale difer a little because at least I somewhat good at stepping into other people shoes and understand why they do what they do. But angel there is autistic (or bad at this specific thing for other reasons), so I think when people he consider reasonable doesn't agree with him for their own reasons he ge's really baffled, like, there arE correct opinion and it's mine, WHY are you being difficult?? to spite me?? And I'm sure that half of the reason why Aziraphale's so comfortable with Crowley is that he perfectly happy to let him buly or manipulate him into doing things Aziraphale picks as right. Usually Crowley know where pick his battles and how to play long game to make Aziraphale agree for really important stuff he wants from him, but otherwise? Sure he will complain how he hates Hamlet but they will watch Hamlet, and Aziraphale will be very pleased with himself. (and than there goes final fifteen and we back at "but WHY won't ypu agree with thing I pick or us IT'S GOOD AND RESONABLE THING" and we should be happy that consent is something that imporant for our angel ok? he would be angry with Crowley for picking wrong but he won't make him do what he doesn't want. they respect each other like that.)
3) It makes you really really tired and tense. You control everything, unfortunately the longer you do it the more things starts really depedend on you, you can't let go, you don't know anyone that can share this burden with you because first they should prove that they won't blow his up and for this you should share at least something with them, but what is they would blow it up? Better be safe than sorry. And look when it's my problems it's credit cards and doctor appointmens and with Aziraphale we talk about people dying. Crowley dying. Now, as I said, he actually shows Crowley so. much. trust. for someone with such issues. Because Crowley was there for 6000 years, and he proved himself capable enough times. But still there's areas where let go and not worry would be impossible for Aziraphale, Crowley's safety being one of such things (you see, you can risk with your life when you deal with your problems because whatever you will clean shit up if needed, but if someone close to you hurt themself?? it's YOUR problem too but it will be SO MUCH HARDER to clean. I think when Aziraphale points to Crowley that hell would be harder on him than he can expect heavens to punish him, it's partially because he believes it's true and partially because he knows how to minimize harm when heavens angry with him but HOW can he do this for Crowley??). Anyway. Lol. The more I think about it the more I sure that Crowley without Aziraphale would be a miserable angry dick, and Aziraphale wihout Crowley would be dead, because it was the one person that kept him one tiny slip away from total burn out.
So yeah there's a lot of posts about how angry heartbroken etc Crowley will be with Aziraphale (I don't agree but that's for other post), less posts about how sad and heartbroken will be Aziraphale, but I hope to see Azyraphale being angry too (it they will be angry with each other at all). Not only for not picking him or leaving or making everything messy and emotional and wasting their first kiss at their fight etc, but also because Aziraphale was trusting him! Trusting that he get another resonable adult in team with him! Someone who he can trust to make resonable desisions and see his ideas as clever and him as capable and being willing to go to the end of the world with him with mild complaints and than!! When he did trust him to understand!! He was like everyone else!! Unresonable and emotional and angry with him and why he asked him at all he should've do it secretly and alone as always and it would've be as usual and it wouldn't hurt but it was Crowley that taught him to trust and to ask him for help!! Breaking his perfectly fine coping mechanisms!! It's all his faut if you think about it huh?? (but of course he's already forgiven. but also Aziraphale would do what he needs to do alone this time, as one and only capable adult in the world.)
Anyway it's not a meta it's just some late night thoughts. And it's in no way whole analizis there's so much more problems inside this angel. It's just something in particular that resonated with me today. Also it's not in any way critisizm of him, mind you, because a) he does really the smartest person in the room most of the time and b) I LOVE how fucked up in the head he is!!! I think he needs to become even more fucked up actually!!! and Crowley should love him for that and I will cheer for him from sidelines!!!
#good omens#Aziraphale#does it counts as meta if it's half projection but also you're the smartest person in the room and always correct hmm?#I'm always afraid to talk about how trauma made aziraphale not only the most suffered being in world but also a huge insufferable bitch#because no one gets him like me no one wants to love him for that!! aside of Crowley#I'm like 'can't relate to religious trauma but remember being super fucking tired at like 8 yo because parents beat me hard enough to leave#bruises for weeks and I was angry with them because of course they didn't remembered that I'll have a medical exam at school next week and#now I need to be a resonable one and invent a cover up good enough so there won't be Questions'#and don't get me started on money thing#*sigh* if only Aziraphale was also good at getting people. but I guess Goddess desided he'll be too powerful#also *for me* it'll be beautiful if Aziraphale would be angry with Crowley for leaving and not with himself for asking at all#I want them have a long talk about motives and why Aziraphale thought it'll be good idea and why Crowley said no and how they could prevent#this in the future....but the worst lesson Aziraphale can learn there is 'actually I should never again trust him with big desisions and#I should never again ask him for things that's Big and Important for me'#so yeah that's where Crowley will need to repair things.#tdh I'm glad that final fifteen blow up and Crowley was the one being angry and explaining nothing and running away#because I love Aziraphale but I'm almost sure that even with Crowley being calm and resonable there he would've make same choise#because situation was attuned to his weak spots just too good. I can't imagine scenario where he's not leaving#but it'll be much harder for me to see if Crowey was resonable one lol. not like fandom doesn't pretend that he isn't but you know. not by#my standarts. (now in perfect world they would talk to each other calmly compromise and make backup plans together. but they're still#learning so it's fiiine they'll get there. I hope to see them communicate flawlessly while bullshitting heavens and hell in season 3)
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ok i don't know WHAT kind of brain fart I had but I've been thinking today marks 6 months since I started shipping with Bob... IT'S NOT SIX DLSKJFKSF IT'S EIGHT 😳😳😳 8 MONTHS!!!
so today i learned i don't know how to count but idec bc it's my 8 month bobiversarry lol ❤️
#(sorry there's basically a freaking diary entry in these tags damn) (needed to get my thoughts out ig lol)#i really am so grateful for him and doug. which i get could sound really silly to ppl outside of this community lol#but they've helped me through the past 8 months and have made me smile even when in the worst moods :'3#even putting the selfshipping aspect of it aside they just make me happy !!#i honestly CANNOT believe its been that long already though... time has freaking FLOWN by since sept#but actually thinking about it in that way makes me oddly motivated? like that post abt how#'the time will pass anyways.' like i could have done A LOT in those 8 months but... i didn't 🧍🏻♀️BUT#there's 8 more months right ahead of me to make use of. like i've been really wanting to learn music theory and production#and im scared bc of how much time it will take. but I started studying a few days ago... and in 8 months i'll have 8 months of experience#idk it's just a comforting thought#like maybe even just in 4 months on the one year bobiverssary (lol) i'll be able to look back on today#and be like WOW i learned SO much since then and made so much music etc. just need to manage my time better all around.#bc of course i also need to do my actual JOB aka finish my next novel and prep for selfpub#cause i'm excited but not nearly ready 4 when my current contract ends. idk if it'll get renewed or not but i'm cool w either outcome 🧘🏻♀#UMMM. i didn't expect to ramble that much LMFAO sorry i was caught off guard by the passage of time ! 😳#peanut butter and jelly donut#caitiechat
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#also a commission I didddddd#if you ask I'll make up a price for you xp#one day I'll make a comm sheet#when I care enough to get extra money#I always feel bad because I could totally let my commissioner down :(#like I did for this one#I didn't do anything for months and I felt so bad#but my style improved considerably so it was good art for 8 dollars#but it took long enough to make me consider refunding#my motivation is fluctuating all the time#art#artwork#lilspacesquid art#lilspacesquid#furry#furry community#sfw furry#furry art#furry fandom#anyway#I've rambled enough for one post
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i'm so confused rn, can you explain the goncharov thing?? i get off tumblr for five minutes
(Edits closed as of 28 Nov.)
Lmaoooo
Nah I getchu. So this post has been circulating for like two years:
Link to post.
But yesterday, it had inspired someone to do this:
Link to post.
Next thing I knew there were fake Letterboxed reviews.
Goncharov moodboards. Really good ones.
Link to post.
Meta analysis. So many fake meta essays. Disturbingly good ones. And of course the memes. (Edit: HAVE I SAID THIS SHIT IS DISTURBING)
As you can see, the myth just started to grow, characters and ships and tropes being added one after the other, almost bizzarely without contradiction, until there was enough of shape to the whole thing for people to start posting fanfic about it on AO3. "No beta we die like ice-pick Joe" is already a tag.
Link to post.
It was hilarious in the beginning, but the way it's developed within less than a day, kind of like it's being willed into existence, is freaking me out a bit. We're toying with powers beyond our comprehension. 😂😂😂
Link to post.
Of course, there could be an ulterior motive as well.
Link to post (tags mine).
Edit: guys, please tag these posts "unreality" so people with disassociation issues can filter them out (not this one, this is an explainer). <3
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Edit 2: Aparently the boots in the original post are actually referring to a movie called Gomorrah that came out in 2008, directed by Mateo Garrone, based on the Scampia Feud. And other people had also been making posts about the fake movie for a while before the poster took off.
found by @thepotch
Edit 3: Explainer: why did those boots have this movie on them anyway?
Edit 4: Alt text added to all images courtesy of @valentineish ❤️
Edit 5: Turns out tumblr has done this kind of thing before. Nine years in this hell place and I had to have "Squiddles" and penis smp explained in the replies.
Edit 6: This post collects the Lore so far.
Edit 7: Lynda Carter (real one)/ earns more/ Tumblr cred.
Edit 8: Holy shit y'all we have the theme music. With sheet music. And it's on Spotify!
Edit 9: THERE IS A TRAILER WITH THE THEME MUSIC
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I made this post 18 hours after the movie poster went up. Closed edits 27 hours after first posting. So all of the above happened within 45 hours of the movie poster going up.
Edit 10: Google document live-compiling all the lore so far (Day 3)
Edit 11: Masterpost of Goncharov soundtracks (Day 3)
Edit 12: Entertainment news articles covering the Gonch-posting (real) (Contd from yday)
Edit 13: The music from the masterpost all compiled into a 31-minute original score with video edits on YouTube (edit: unfortunately taken down)
Edit 14: Staff's Goncharov art showcase for Tumblr Tuesday
As of closing on Day 3 there are 371 works in the AO3 tag.
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Updating with Day 3 shenanigans I missed yesterday:
Edit 15: Goncharov TV Tropes page
Edit 16: Ethics of Gonchposting
Important PSA 1 (how to reduce harm to Tumblr's neurodivergents)
Important PSA 2 (reality affirmation, anti-bullying)
Important PSA 3 (why you should stop trying to vandalise legit information sites)
Edit 17: Character lore from beezlebub whose poster they originated from
Edit 18: What we know about/ Director Matteo JWHJ0715 (#unreality)
Edit 19: Link to post with screenshotted and described NYT article (scroll down) and this golden exerpt from BuzzFeed: 💀
(alt text included)
End of Day 4 there are now 485 works in the Goncharov tag on AO3
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Didn't get to update this on Day 5, so these are the Day 5 doings:
More trailers!
Trailer 1 (My favourite)
Trailer 2
Trailer 3
Trailer 4
I also just found out about the Goncharov Game Jam.
It appears this opened a day after after the meme took off.
Goncharov was first entered into Wikipedia between Day 4 and 5 (attempts to vandalise it with fake info don't count, incidentally – please knock that shit off) under List of Internet Phenomena. This was then expanded into its own Wikipedia page at the end of Day 5 because, according to the talk history: "the topic now meets the notability threshold for its own artice due to significant coverage in The New York Times and other sources cited." We're on Wikipedia, people!
And then we made The Guardian half a day later. So while the meme is definitely dying down to embers by now, it still stays winning.
YouTube channels with episodes on the meme:
InformOverlord (4:30)
Lessons in Meme Culture (2:43)
End of Day of 5 there were 511 works on AO3, and End of Day 6 (today) there are 556.
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🚨BREAKING 🚨 from Martin Scorsese's daughter's TikTok (real actual)
tw: unreality:
We did it you guys!
Clarification: Francesca Scorcese asked her Dad about the meme and Martin played along. Please reblog this PSA to help Tumblr people with psychosis. Thanks.
Final edit: Day 8. Media reactions to Scorcese's TikTok (everyone from Forbes to Vulture). That one Tumblr user who said they'd do a screenplay if their post got notes has promised to shoot a single scene, but please don't be dicks just because you reblogged it; leave them alone until they get around to it themselves. As of end of Day 8 there are 609 works in the AO3 tag. I love all you lunatics. Peace! ❤️
#goncharov 1973#reasons i can never leave this hellsite#we've ascended from pirating criterion movies to straight up manifesting them into existence#get on our level twits#knee of huss#goncharov#tumblr lore#tumblr memes#tumblr culture
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𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐝𝐚𝐝! 𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐧𝐚 ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹
featuring. sukuna ryomen x reader
warnings. sukuna wanted a son, but got a daughter instead (he's smitten for her shh), sukuna is modern af bye he knows how to use a phone ok, reader is called "wife", ooc sukuna bye
note. ok listen, i've been having a girl dad sukuna brainrot lately. and i even gave out a req to @rrairey (u go check out her works rn) — but i just had to write something about girl dad sukuna jsjdksjks it's on my mind 25/8 and i can't stop unless i actually write abt him (i'm lying, he's still going to be in my mind bye).
girl dad! sukuna who initially wanted a son but when he finds out he's going to be having a daughter instead, he didn't know how to feel. he thought that if he had a son, he could at least play "rough" with him. it's sukuna, he doesn't know what soft is.
girl dad! sukuna who has to secretly watch tutorial videos on the most random thing like "how to play nicely with your daughter" or "how to be nice to your daughter". but also searches up for things like "easy hairstyles to give your daughter for beginners", when your daughter isn't even born yet.
girl dad! sukuna who hates to admit it but he's pretty worried about having a daughter. finally shoves his ego down his throat and comes up to you to talk about it, and you encouraged that he's going to be a good father — but still, he's worried.
"ryo, you're worried about what exactly?" you asked the male, brushing his hair.
"not being a good father." he replies, leaning into your touch with a big frown on his face, grumbling under his breath slightly about how embarrassed he is to be so fragile in front of his own wife.
"baby, you're going to be the best father."
although your words were supposed to be encouraging, and he did feel a bit of burden lift off of his shoulders — the male still couldn't help but to worry about his unborn daughter.
girl dad! sukuna who complains about your pregnancy cravings and how his daughter is a weird baby. despite that, he will go out of his way to get you what you wanted, not caring if it was two in the morning, or five in the morning. he will get it for you and your growing daughter inside your belly.
girl dad! sukuna who grows anxious when your due date was inching closer. he took a break off from work and devoted his time to look after you, especially since you were walking for two right now. even if you did tell your husband that you were fine — he still thinks it's his job to look after you and your daughter.
"damn it brat, stop moving so much. you'll hurt yourself," he gently tugs on your arm, directing you to the couch, "what'dya want?"
"sausages and blueberry jam . . ." you tell him nonchalantly, missing the look of disgust on his face.
". . . just stay there." he walks a few steps before turning back, "don't move."
girl dad! sukuna who watches labor videos only to focus on the husbands and what they were doing in it so he could try to take notes and searches for what he should get ready for labor, or if he could do anything as a husband for his wife during labor. the results didn't ease his worries — they added up his worries. like adding fuel to the fire, the internet tells him that giving birth was the second most painful thing after getting burned alive.
girl dad! sukuna who already thought of names for your daughter and even buys things for her. telling you that he'd be out to grab a few things and then coming back with a crib set, toys, or even a baby walker. he even got a baby strap for both you and him to use, picking out the most random motives like skulls and fires.
"ryo, why did you pick that motive?" you asked, eyeing the baby strap that had white skulls all over.
"our daughter will like that. i know it." he retorts.
girl dad! sukuna who looked as calm as a cucumber but internally panics the most when your water broke. he grabs the bag that he had packed, following a youtube tutorial and helped you get into the car so that the both of you can finally drive off to the hospital. he holds your hand tightly along the way, showing his worry as he "tries" to follow driving laws (which he ended up driving past the speed limit and had to get a ticket in the hospital).
girl dad! sukuna who had to pay a ticket as you were tended in a hospital room (you didn't know about this and he didn't tell you about it so you won't worry). the doctor telling both you and him that the labor procedure will have to wait up to a few hours as they proceeded with "watchful waiting" after they checked on the baby's condition and yours so they could see if it was safe for you to give birth normally.
girl dad! sukuna who waited those long hours with you as you laid on the bed, telling him how nervous you are. and all the bad possibilities that could happen (he searched that up too), he tells you to stop saying those kind of things. sukuna wasn't angry — he just didn't want you to stress so much, rubbing circles on the back of your hand with his thumb to soothe you. he didn't let go until the doctor came back to finally do something.
girl dad! sukuna who was inside the delivery room with you, even after telling you that he won't come inside a few months ago. holds onto your hand (which you were holding onto tightly as the procedure goes on for hours), he winces — but he didn't care about his hand right now, he only cares about you and his daughter. brushing your hair lightly, mumbling out hushed praises to you (unknowingly, it just comes out), wipes away your sweat with his bare fingers and pressing kisses onto your face every single time he feels your hand clenching around his.
"jus' a bit more, pretty." he whispers, kissing your knuckles multiple times before moving on to kiss your forehead, "a bit more."
girl dad! sukuna who almost bursts into tears when he heard the loud cry of your daughter, but blinked his tears back. peering slightly at your worn out face. he tells you how he's proud of you (spoiler: he hates it if you reminded him about it in the future).
"y'hear that? you did so good, pretty. 'm proud of you," he clung onto your hand, grazing his thumb over your forehead as a smile adorned his face, "she's here, baby."
girl dad! sukuna who couldn't hold his tears back when the nurse suggested skin-to-skin contact with the father. he wasted no time tugging his shirt off to hold his little bundle of joy, nestling her in his arms — unknowingly letting a few stray tears of joy out as he coos down to his newborn daughter.
"oh, you're so pretty, little one." he cradled her gently against his bulky arms, sniffling softly. he was so gentle — different from how he used to be, his eyes soft and watery as he affectionately stares down at his now sleeping daughter.
girl dad! sukuna who slept on a chair by your bed when the doctor told you that you'll be allowed to go home once your body is fit again, he didn't care that he didn't have a bed to lie on. he was just there, prepped in a chair as his fingertips touched your wrist near the IV injection on the back of your hand. making sure he didn't touch the transparent hose. and his eyes darted back and forth from your resting form and his daughter who was now all warm and bundled up inside a bassinet. making sure that the both of you are resting well even if he was barely able to open his eyes fully.
girl dad! sukuna who carried all your bags and your daughter's car seat with ease while leading you down the hospital hallways and to the car. helping you buckle your seatbelt and making sure that his daughter is going to be safe and sound during the ride home, prepping up the car seat like he learned, giving his daughter a light kiss on her head before closing the door.
girl dad! sukuna who tells you to rely on him every time his daughter wakes up in the middle of the night — he won't let you get up, gently tugging you down onto the bed and tucking you underneath the covers before leaving to tend your daughter without any other words. as if his daughter is the most fragile thing in the world, he carries her into his arms and hushed her softly, nuzzling his nose onto her head, trying to get her back to sleep.
"shh, baby, mama's tired right now . . . go back to bed." he whispers, kissing her small forehead.
girl dad! sukuna who offered to shower your baby for the first time after two weeks upon arriving back home (under your watch of course), as you filled the bathinette with warm water — sukuna was cradling her in his arms, swaying his body side to side. and when you tell him the water's ready, sukuna prepped his big hand behind your daughter's small head so the water won't go to her face and began cleaning her. concentrating, he wets his finger and traced it over his daughter's face, making sure she's not frightened. and once he's done, he cupped his hand and scooped some water to wet her hair, rubbing her head lovingly.
girl dad! sukuna who's personality did a somersault ever since you were pregnant with his daughter. turning soft and more clingy, he has your daughter strapped to his chest. and will tell you that he's got it every time his daughter cries or ruined her diapers, he's learnt it all thanks to other great dads on youtube.
girl dad! sukuna who was even more ecstatic than you are when his daughter said her first word, which was of course "mama", he didn't care that she didn't say "dada", he focuses on the fact that his daughter had grown so much to be able to say her first word. tells your bundle of joy how proud he is of her even if she probably doesn't understand her father.
"maa..ma."
sukuna who had his eyes on the television immediately darted to his daughter who was in your hold, his lips were slightly parted as he tries to process what just happened, "did . . . did she . . ?"
when you confirmed his question, he pulled you into his arms and kissed your head before kissing your daughter's head, muttering out a, "papa's proud of you, baby."
girl dad! sukuna who treats both you and your daughter like the most precious beings in the world. he. spoils. you. both. to no end, coming home from work with a present for the both of you. mostly food for you, and a toy for your daughter. you just know [daughter] is going to grow up spoiled by her father.
girl dad! sukuna who spoils your daughter rotten. and ever since her first steps — he's been going out with her to no end, of course going out as a family of three. holding your daughter's chubby little hands as he guided her down the street, earning coos from strangers all around him.
"good girl, that's right . . . left and right." he said softly, watching [daughter] walk slowly, still a little wobbly.
girl dad! sukuna who gets a little emotional when your daughter has her first birthday — because, it's been that fast? he tries not to cry, i swear. but silently slips inside the bathroom and lets a few one out before coming out like he didn't just cry over his daughter growing up too fast. he swore it was just yesterday that he was in the hospital.
girl dad! sukuna who will with no shame, participate in tea parties with his daughter once she's known enough about it. you'd call them both down for dinner and when they didn't, you decided to be the one to approach them inside [daughter]'s room. and there he was, sitting on the floor, to his left and right were [daughter]'s stuffed animals and your daughter was sitting across from sukuna with a silver tiara on.
"this looks fun," you chuckled, eyeing them.
"mama! tea party?" [daughter] beams out at you, you walked over to them and carried your daughter into your arms, "mama, no tea party?"
"after dinner, baby. okay?"
sukuna has no shame in it. at first, he did try to decline his daughter, telling her that she should ask you instead, but your daughter looked so crestfallen that he just has to accept — which turned out to be a daily thing now. a tea party.
girl dad! sukuna who will be his daughter's experiment subject to trying out make ups. he's a little skeptical (lies, he's very skeptical), but it's not like this is the first time he's had make up put on his face. he's had his fair share of you trying to put make up on him, but this was a toddler doing it and not a full grown adult. but he couldn't say no, so he just submits to his daughter and lets her modify his face and clips on cute hairclips to his hair.
"mama mama! look at papa," your daughter cheers, pointing at sukuna. and you laugh, carrying your daughter before approaching the male who was sitting down on the floor in the living room.
"you look pretty, ryo."
"i feel pretty, my little girl did it to me." he rolls his eyes before grabbing a mirror to look at his face.
eh, not bad.
girl dad! sukuna who drops his daughter off for the first day of pre-school, telling her that she should punch anyone who messes with her (thankfully nobody yet). and gets a bit emotional again as she walks inside the building, his eyes going glassy watching her skip inside her new chapter.
girl dad! sukuna who's overprotective when it comes to his little girl. a trip to the park was a daily routine for his family — and believe me when he has eyes everywhere for his little girl, if anyone was bothering her, he would have no fear on finding out who their parent was. taking matters into his own hands, leaving the children out of it. as much as he wanted to confront the kid for bothering his little princess, he knew the parents had the most fault.
"your boy has issues. the next time he lays his hand on my girl, i will come for you." he said to the boy's father before walking back to you.
the boy and his father never came back to the park after that day.
girl dad! sukuna who watches his daughter grow from a small girl to an eight year old in a matter of what felt like a week. he swore yesterday she was just babbling out her first word, and the next thing he knows, she's got a "boyfriend" at school? oh, boy.
"you don't have a boyfriend." he mutters out, eyeing his daughter.
"yes i do have a boyfriend," your daughter replies back with her soft voice.
"no."
the banter continued until your daughter ended up in tears, and sukuna had to force himself to say that she indeed had a boyfriend in school. he's upset that she's growing up too quickly, but at the same time — he's proud of his little girl.
girl dad! sukuna who finds out you were pregnant with a second child, who turned out to be another girl. and he was still as loving and caring like he was with his first daughter, this time, he had a helping hand to take care of you.
"mama has a baby in her belly, so you can't be too rough on her, okay?" he baby talks his eight year old daughter like she's still a small baby — he softly caresses your clothed stomach as he speaks to her.
girl dad! sukuna who had to see his first daughter cry over her new "soon to be" born baby sibling. thinking both you and him were not going to love her anymore — and his heart breaks, because why would he not love his princess anymore?
"hey, hey, why're you cryin'?" sukuna tucks [daughter]'s hair behind her ear as she lets out a few fat tears out of her eyes.
"mama and papa will still love me, right?" she asks, her voice breaking slightly.
sukuna pulls the young girl into his embrace, holding her with one of his arm as he wipes her tears with his other, "'f course mama and i will still love you, you're our princess."
girl dad! sukuna who proudly watches his big girl now approaching his newborn daughter and her sister, eyeing the baby with such an innocent glint in her eyes. oh, and big girl? doesn't matter, to sukuna, your first daughter will always be his little girl.
© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#fluff#jjk#jjk fluff#sukuna#sukuna ryomen#jujutsu kaisen sukuna#sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#jjk sukuna#i love him#ryomen#sukuna ryomen x reader#sukuna fluff#modern sukuna
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you don't have to pay overdraft fees ever
the biden administration recently cracked down on overdraft fees which means banks cannot force you to pay them as they have become opt-in -- however you do have to call the bank (for example, paypal payments overdraft you even if you have opted out, as they function like checks.)
my experience is with wellsfargo but i imagine that most major banks may operate similarly:
if you have an overdraft fee, call the bank, you will get a machine. go through the autentification process with it but do not mention your issue when it asks you to (specially not the word overdraft -- this is a conspiracy theory i cannot prove but i swear to god they rewire you to more aggressive phone people if you tipoff the machine) instead say "i'd like to speak to a representative" the machine will be like "lol didn't get that" so you may need to repeat it a couple more times before it wires you to a real person
wait! i'd recomend calling as early in the morning as possible to avoid elevator music.
be nice to the customer service person who picks up (i make a point of thanking them for their help and calling them by their name, if i don't catch it the first time i ask them again for it)
my script is something along the lines of: "hi, i noticed there's an overdraft fee in my account that posted on [date]. i am calling to see if we (WE -- you and the representative are a team against the problem) could do something about it" (<- you may decide to be more direct, i just put my innocent hat on)
most if not all of what they say to you is a script. they will be like "i will check that for you with the automated process that takes into account you previous refund activity" BLAH BLAH BLAH. more waiting. if you have had any refunds in the past 12 months, they will be like "sorry the system says no (:" THOUGH, VERY RECENTLY, they have tacked on this question: do you have any thoughts on that / how do you feel about that / etc. though even if they do not prompt you, here's the next step:
say: thank you! i appreciate the automated review, however i do not agree/approve/consent to being charged a fee. is there any way you could check again / anyone else i could talk to / would it be possible to refund it regardless? etc.
they will check again, possibly more waiting, and then you will get an immediate refund! in the rare case they refuse to, here is the link to the FDIC website that you can refer to (note, this is for overdraft fees only):
8. i cannot emphasize this enough -- be nice !!!!!!!!!!! BE NICE! be cheerful, say "thank you" and "no worries" and "take your time!". it is NOT a confrontation, it is NOT their fault, and most of the time the customer service representative wants this to be as frictionless as possible. they are helping you, use the opportunity to make a moment of their day a lot less stressful than they expect it to be.
that is ALL -- i have been using wellsfargo for over eight years, and have lost hundreds of dollars to predatory overdraft fees charged as a punishment for having no money.
during the beginning covid, when they were momentarily suspended (you had to mention covid on the phone to get them back lol), i came to the realization that all of this time they could have been giving me my money back. there was no reason not to, except corporate greed.
do not let phone social anxiety let them take your money from you, now that it is easier than EVER to get it back. and if you need motivation to pick up the phone, remember this headline from a couple of years back lol:
DEATH TO CAPITALISM !!!!!!
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gotta get back to work tmorrow 😔
#not fandom related#personal log stardate#soemhow my days off were not v relaxing bc half of the time i was visting family/acquaintances and i didn't get anything done#didn't even manage to clean :/ i wanted to call my colleague w whom i shift tomorrow to ask if i should come a bit later than scheduled#*have#bc my boss scheduled me wrong bc she keeps forgetting that i work 6 hrs now and not 8 anymore but i can't bring up the courage to call#also i have a doctor's appointment next week that i still need a referral for but i don't want to see my gp for the referral so i'll have to#cancel that appointment. even tho it took all my strength to make it in the first place. also it's kinda important#unfortunately i only do uncomfortable things that are Absolutely necessary and seeing my gp for that referral is not#since it's january now i can also call thaat therapist who said she does group therapy for trans ppl so i can finally get the diagnosis#of being a Transsexual TM so i can get that letter i need to access t. idk if i'll manage tho#like i feel so unmotivated and exhausted these days. feels like all i can manage is the bare minimum#i feel rly bad abt it tho. like. babe. pick yourself up. things are not as bad as they seem. maybe once i've managed some basic things like#cleaning and tidying up my place i'll find the motivation for other stuff
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your loser somno konig has given me so much brainroott
i have a proposition however: what if reader knew?
or completely different route, what if the reader drugged him often to do the same, with the intent of having his baby, a permanent piece of him 😇
ANON. ANON WHEN I CATCH YOU. WHEN I CATCH YOU ANON.
cw: somnophilia, drugging, noncon, femdom, breeding.
It had started out innocently— a small crush on your colonel, his tough image like a monument of what a man should be, slowly building up to an obsession that had you crushing sleeping pills, mixing them into a nice tea made specifically for your lovely colonel. It's wrong— could end your career and could even get you killed, but the chances were worth it.
You waited patiently, only slipping out of bed when you heard his snores. Your body hovered above his with the same quietness you use in the enemy backlines, one hand carefully trying to move his body just to make sure he was fully asleep. His breathing pattern didn't change at all, neither did his loud snores, so you quickly got into action knowing he'd be out for at least a few hours.
You've seen his bulge before— how can you not? It's always poking out of his pants even when he's soft, yet this is the first time you see the entire thing once you lower his pants, hooking his boxers underneath his balls.
''Jesus Christ.'' You mutter under your breath, eyes slightly ajar when you notice how massive he is even when soft. You begin to stroke his soft dick with your hand, feeling him up and taking your time to experiment with him, doing what feels right until his cock starts to respond to your touch, getting harder in your hand. You take your time to admire him once he's fully hard— all 8 inches of pure thickness, the bulging veins running down his entire length only making the heat in your stomach pool up.
Your warm tongue runs up his entire shaft, his snores reassuring you that he's not going to wake up no matter what you do. You latch onto the tip, the taste of salty precum invading your tongue, running circles on his tip before letting go with a loud ''pop'', only getting up to take off your pants, straddling him and holding the tip of his hard cock over your sopping cunt. You don't take his mask off— the least you can do is respect his privacy even when you're doing something so sinful and forbidden.
You lower yourself down on his cock slowly, taking your time to enjoy every single inch stretching open your insides. It takes a hot minute before your cunt is able to take all of him, a hand over your mouth to muffle your whines. It almost hurts, but the ache is overcome by the pure need of feeling more of him.
You slowly bounce on his cock, getting more and more used to having all of him all the way inside before you're freely bouncing on his cock, your free hand going down to massage his heavy balls while you impale yourself down on him. It feels too good to stop despite how wrong it is, mind filled of images of a possible future together if you manage to get pregnant tonight— if not, you can always keep trying.
Your eyes drift down to his masked face, a small smile on your lips when you think about what he may look like underneath the balaclava and sniper hood; how pretty your babies will be. It's only motivation to keep fucking yourself down on his cock, feeling it throb inside you while you only bounce down on him faster, feeling your orgasm build up. It doesn't take long before you're cumming around his cock, getting even tighter around him and milking him dry, his unconscious body responding to your stimulation by shooting ropes inside you.
You wait a few minutes before hesitantly moving away from him, getting on your knees in bed and licking him dry, getting rid of the evidence of your sinful act, taking one last look at his softening cock before you pull his pants back on, fully unaware that König would be returning the treatment the next night— and the one after that, up until you come to him with a positive pregnancy test, hopefully seeking for his help.
#cod mw2#cod mwii#call of duty#konig smut#konig x you#konig x reader#cod konig#konig mw2#konig call of duty#konig#konig cod#könig smut#könig#könig x reader#könig cod#könig call of duty#könig mw2#cod#könig x y/n#cod smut#konig imagine#call of duty smut#stray answers#cw somnophilia
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.
#i was gonna go buy some delta 8 bc i got christmas money early and i've been hurting#but i had to buy some fucking groceries a couple of days ago bc my mom last minute told me she wanted me to make#stuffing for thanksgiving#and with the very meager amount of money i have left i don't want to spend basically all of it on weed#so i decided against it#and was gonna have some pity ice cream instead#but i get in the freezer and find that my SO has eaten the last of it#even tho he usually never gets into it#and there was a brownie on the table and a cookie bar in the fridge that he likes#so why choose that specifically#idk i'm just like throwing a tantrum in the other room quietly while he's sleeping bc wtf#like i'm fucking trying to lose weight sure and didn't *need* the ice cream#but like it's always kinda been 'mine' and how are you gonna eat the last of something that's mine#i had counted on it being there#just like damn. i truly have nothing.#and half the dishes were loaded into the dishwasher backwards either by him or his parents#which like practically zero time to fix but wtf? kinda weird and inconsiderate??#and imma have to scrub the damn toilet bc we're having company tomorrow and i'm the only one who cares enough to do it#i was gonna pop an edible and get to work on cleaning since it sometimes helps with motivation to do it#but that plan is cancelled and i don't even have a consolation prize#thinking about instead getting drunk off my ass and doing goddamned nothing#i feel bad that i haven't really been working on personal projects recently. makes me feel lazy. but i haven't been bc it's hard to focus#when sitting in one place for like 20 minutes causes me pain. so i cook and i occasionally clean house and i have to beg and beg and demand#and guilt for the few chores i ask of him to be done. which is literally almost only cleaning the pots and pans when i cook for him. but#they'll sit there for days and sometimes his parents who are usually gone half the week woll come home and they're still there and his mom#ends up washing them. i'm not bringing in any money right now and like at least he's working on something but he's not bringing in any#either and we went through my money faster bc it's harder to get him to go to the grocery so it was me for a long time paying for all that#so now i have nothing and feel weird about asking for help and he's offered verbally but hasn't actually sat down with me to do anything#until i literally didn't have enough to pay for my car insurance at which point he sat down to switch it but ugh#he had said he didn't want me to get that low but let it happen anyway and now is still like 'can you get that' on occasion
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DEEP DOWN.
alpha!Ateez x omega!f!Reader
Idol!Ateez x Idol!F!Reader (A/B/O!AU 9th Member!AU)
You've got every right to be upset. How you tossed and turned the last time. In misery, you dealt with it on your own. You've felt so hot for so long with nothing to keep you cold, although it's only your second heat. They seem the worse they can get. You've got whatever you can reach in a vice grip. God, if only you hadn't spent so much time with so many alphas in a cramped area. If only you heard the valcano errupting in your dna. Maybe it'd be different. Maybe you'd still be a beta, living your life normally. Rather than suffering in a cold dim room, keeping yourself away from the 8 guys your silly half omega brain yearns for. Something you never asked for. Yet, deep down you beg for.
Synopsis: When the 9th member of ateez figures out her beta dna changed because she's spent years surrounded by alphas. Now, a late bloomed omega, she finds herself losing control of the reins of her body and feelings. With the alphas hot on her trail, exposing her secret, she can't decide if she's willing to risk letting them in or cutting off the guys entirely.
CW and content; She/her pronouns used, female anatomy, ot8 x reader, polyamorous relationships. MATURE THEMES! A/b/o, implied soulmates, imprinting, marking, mating bites, heats, ruts, knotting, breeding kink, all that jazz. This is purely self indulgent. 9th member! reader. alpha! ateez x beta turned omega! reader. (I'll explain that later) ANGST! lots of it at first. and lots lots lots of fluff. mutual pining(they don't know it yet tho). number of chapters will be updated as I go down the line. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. PERIOD.
All the content in this story is fictitious. This fanfiction contains mature content. This is an original work of fiction made by seventhcallisto. Do not steal, copy, or plagiarize my works.
WORLD BUILDING— scents.
My masterlist ☆ | 71.8k word count.
Prologue. — 💠 4.5k
Chapter one 6.3k ❝why didn't you answer my calls?❞
Chapter two 6.3k ❝you promise?❞
Chapter three 6.7k ❝meet me halfway.❞
Chapter four 6.1k ❝mirrors❞
Chapter five 11.6k ❝just one.❞ (nsfw)
Chapter six 12.3k ❝lips & hips.❞ (nsfw)
Chapter seven 9.0k ❝your best girl.❞ (nsfw)
Chapter eight 8.6k ❝sensitive.❞ (nsfw)
Chapter nine. Chapter ten.
To Be Continued. 🪼
Comments keep me motivated ! Thank you for supporting.
© seventhcallisto 2023
#a/b/o dynamics#a/b/o#a/b/o verse#a/b/o au#ateez x reader#ateez fanfic#ateez x female reader#ateez a/b/o au#ateez ot8#ot8 x reader#polyamarous#polygamy#ateez fic#ateez hongjoong#ateez jongho#ateez seonghwa#ateez san#ateez yunho#ateez wooyoung#ateez yeosang#ateez mingi#mingi x reader#san x reader#hongjoong x reader#seonghwa x reader#wooyoung x reader#jongho x reader#yunho x reader#yeosang x reader#mature audiences only
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SUPP IM BACK WITH ANOTHER REQUEST!! How about professor riddle marks ur work but u didn't get good grades so he punishes u? xoxo mattheosslut22
omg i smiled at this like a fool and my boyfriend asked me what I was smiling about hahaha - yes my real boyfriend, not mattheo duh
thank you for requesting doll 🫶🏻 I‘m already writing a professor one shot right now but with more plot, just have to finish it 👀
Bad student | Professor!Mattheo Riddle
summary: Professor Riddle and you have a special agreement.
warnings: professor x student so don‘t read if you don‘t like, kissing, teasing, fingering, unprotected p in v
words: 2,4k
I looked down at the paper I got back from Professor Riddle. I got an F. Fuck. My gaze wanders up as he looks at me with raised eyebrows and a kind of disappointed look on his face. "You might want to come to me after class." he says in a chilli tone.
Professor Riddle and I have an agreement. A secret one. If I continue to write bad notes, he stops fucking me. As a motivation. And If I get good ones, I get a reward - which is his dick. As a motivation of course.
I sigh and nod but he already left to give the rest of the students their papers back, which of course were all better than mine.
He continues with class and tries to explain everything but I only can concentrate on what‘s going to happen after this class. It is the last one I have today which means I have time and don‘t need to rush out, which is good. Or bad? I don‘t know yet and that‘s exactly what worries me.
The ring interrupts my thoughs and brings me back to the reality. That I‘m alone with him. I swallow the clump in my throat down and gather my things together.
As I walk to the front of the classroom and towards his desk he doesn‘t even look at me. I breath out, loudly. " Sooo.." i start and try to get him to look up but he still doesn‘t.
While correcting another test and sqribbling something on it he talks " You know what our arrangement was,right? " "Mattheo I - I mean Professor I‘m really sorry okay? I promise it won‘t happen again!" I almost begged. I couldn‘t imagine losing him and our sessions, they got me addicted.
"Yeah you said that the last few times you got a bad grade but now an F? No y/n." "Pleease, fuck there has to be something that I can do! I‘m literally begging you."
I saw him smirking a little and I knew he loved to hear me beg like this, litte fucker.
"I swear I‘m always paying attention I just - I didn‘t have had time to study with quidditch and everything." I wasn‘t even lying on that.
"Prove it. I‘ll ask you Questions and you‘ll have to get at least.. 8 out them right. If not, you can come back when you write good once again after the holiday‘s"
I looked at him in shock. "Holidays?!“ "Yeah, the next test we write is after the holidays." I shook my head, not able to live that long without that dick. I know how desperate I sound, but that was exactly how good he fucked me. I tried to forget him, tried to find fun somewhere else but It was useless with these boys at school. He just knew every single move to get me trembling under his touch.
"Okay okay.. give me those questions." "Sit down." I did as soon as he told me to and looked up at him as he stands up and walks to the desk I‘m sitting on.
"First question: Let‘s start with a easy one.. Which spell will cast a body bind upon an enemy?" he asks me, looking directly into my eyes. I lick my lips before answering. "Petrificus Totalus."
"What‘s the strongest love potion in the world?" I started smiling when the memory of him showing it to us last week came back. "Amortentia." I answered him. "What did you smell?" he asks curious as he slowly places his hands beside me on the table, getting closer to my body. "Does that count as a question?" i ask him in a teasing tone. "Answer." he says in a demanding one but I didn‘t miss the excitement in his eyes." So I answer him. "You."
"Smelled you too.“ he mumbles as he gets closer to my neck which leaves me nervous and with goosebumps all over my body.
"What is your only defense against the Imperius Curse?" I felt his lips brush against my skin but still not kissing it which made me even more desperate. "There is no defense.." i answer lost. "Wrong." he whispers and bites the skin on my soft spot. I whine and squeeze my eyes shut. "M-maybe I need a little motivation.." i started and looked down at his shirt.
He rolled his eyes but still smirked a little as my hands found the buttons to his shirt. While I opened them he took out his wand from his back pocket of his jeans and spelled the door shut.
When I opened the last button I pushed the material to the side and let my hands glide over his abs which he knew i love so much. "Don‘t get too eager baby. You already got one wrong." Now I rolled my eyes as my fingers followed the contour of his abs. "Won‘t happen again."
"No matter how many legs you have, they'll all dance if you're cursed with what jinx?" I snort and answer "Tarantallegra. Easy." He nods and asks his next question, his face now on my throat again. "Which potion acts as a truth drug?" I swallow as I feel his soft lips now ghost over my skin again. I open my mouth a few seconds before answering. "Veritaserum."
His lips now meet my skin and I moan. "Correct." He murmurs, leaving wet and passionate kisses all over my throat. His hands find their way to my knees, leaving them there.
"One side effect of the Draught of Peace, If done incorrectly?" he asks me while letting his hands wander up my legs towards my tights slowly. I press my lips together as I feel myself getting wetter.
"Answer, I know you‘re a smart girl." he grins, kissing along my jaw, sending shivers down my spine.
"Irreversible sleep. " "That‘s right, good girl." he starts playing with the hem of my skirt.
"Who created the main ingredient in the Elixir of Life?" "Nicolas Flammel." He nods and wanders towards my mouth with his lips. I start to get impatient and shift slighty on the table, making him smile again. "3 more baby."
"What is the final ingredient needed for Polyjuice Potion?" " Hair." As I answer correct, his lips connect with mine. My mouth almost opens itself when it feels his tounge gliding over my bottom lip. His hand moves further under my skirt, his fingers now right in front of my underwear. "I can already feel the heat from you." he groans against my lips before his tounge explores my mouth.
I let my hands wander to his back, where I scratch his skin slighty, sending shivers down his spine this time. "Hmm love when you do that." "I know."
He pulls away from my mouth a few inches and looks into my eyes. God his eyes. "When must Wolfsbane Potion be taken to be effective?" Shit. I really don‘t know. I think he saw it in my eyes when he lifted his eyebrows at me. "Uhm –" "Come on. We had this topic only a few weeks ago." "The week leading up to a full moon?" I ask more than answering.
I see a smirk forming on his lips and his head shaking. "So much for 'i listen to your classes', huh?" I groan in frustration. "Are you enjoying the thought of not fucking me for that long?" I ask him almost a little mad.
"No baby, my hand doesn‘t feel like you. But I know you‘ll feel even better after weeks of not riding my cock like you love to do." Wait. His hand? Doesn‘t he have like a tons of women at his feet? But I didn’t have that much time to think about it.
"Name me all of the Unforgiveable Curses." "Uhm – Avada Kedavra, Imperio and .. Crucio." He nods in approval and suddenly I can feel his fingers ghost over my damp underwear.
"Fuck baby, are you always this wet while answering your tests? Maybe I should help you next time so you don‘t write F‘s in my class hm?"
"Ask the last one." I say in a desperate voice. If I get this one right I can fuck him, If I get it wrong, these holidays will be the longest I ever had.
"Okay baby, now concentrate yeah? We had this last potion lesson. How long does Felix Felicis take to prepare?" I smile brightly at him as I instantly knew the answer to it. "6 months." i answer.
"Fuck thank god." he groans and pulls me closer to his body, my legs wrapping around his hips. "10 would have been enough." I answer him, my hands already in his soft curls, tugging at the ends which made him groan even more.
He picks me up and sits me down on his desk, pushing my upper body back. "Gonna give you your reward now baby. You were such a smart girl." he starts praising me. "Well, have a good teacher." "Oh yeah?" he smirks and pulls my skirt off. "Hmm, Professor Snape is actually really nice." Suddenly I feel pain flowing through my thigh, making me hiss.
I look down at him as he starts to kiss the skin he just bit. "Careful baby, don‘t forget who‘s in charge here." he mutters against my thigh, nibbling on it and preppering it with wet kisses. My hands find their way into his curly hair. "Please.." i whisper as he does the same to my other thigh.
"I would miss those little begs so much If I wouldn‘t have had them to hear over holidays." he mumbles against my skin, his lips now on my underwear. He groans as he pulls it down and sees my glistening folds.
And just like a starving man he pushed his fingers through my folds before lapping at my clit, making me bite down on my lip instantly. "Shit.." I breath out, closing my eyes too. "Nuh uh baby, look at me while I eat that sweet pussy of yours." he smirks when my eyes opened up again.
I look down at him, seeing just his eyes and a bit of his nose. Not once does he look away while eating me out and I can see the desire he's holding back right now clearly.
I feel him sliding two fingers inside me without a warning, groaning when they just slipped inside like nothing.
"Fuck me, please.." I beg, not being able to wait any longer. He lets go of me, his mouth and chin glistening from my wetness. I see him licking his lips, with half a smile, almost making me come just from the sight.
"Gonna pound that pussy numb, baby. Just preparing you for what will happen over the holidays." Since we had that agreement, I stayed almost every holidays here so I could spent them with him. "You're staying, right?" he asks as he sees me in thoughts. I start smiling and nod. " Of course." "Hmm good girl."
He pulls me closer to him again until my legs wrap around his hips. His hands open his belt, pushing his jeans and boxer shorts down, revealing his already throbbing cock.
He lets the tip glide over my clit teasing me. His mouth is open, breathing heavy and looking at me through his lashes. "Ready Baby?" "Uh-huh." I mumble, nodding before he finally pushes inside me.
"Fuck yes, so fucking tight." he groans as he slowly pushes inch for inch inside. I let my head fall back and bite down on my bottom li to not moan too loud.
He starts thrusting forward with his hips, making the table squeak against the floor and echoing through the classroom. "I swear I will never get tired of this pussy." he smirks down at me while his words send butterflies down my stomach. I let out a little whine as his right hand wanders up to my throat, cocking me just so slightly but good.
"You still gonna write bad grades, huh?" he ask me, thrusting harder now. "N-no?" I answer but it sounds more like a question. Suddenly he pulls out and turns me around so I'm laying flat with my stomach on the desk. He spreads my legs and pushes inside me again, putting his whole weight on me.
A moan slips past my lips but he puts his hand over my mouth, grinning arrogant. "Let me guess, 'oh daddy it's too much', right?" he mocks while rocking my whole shit into the table.
He pulls his hand away from my mouth and wraps it around my throat again, squeezing with more pressure than before. "Shit Mattheo" I groan, letting my eyes roll back into my head.
"What is it baby? Thought you're able to handle it hm? Should I stop?" "No, no don't stop." I whine out at the though of losing the feeling of him.
Suddenly I feel a sharp pain going through my body. I look behind me over my shoulder and see Mattheo smiling at me like a innocent angel. Yeah, right. He slaps my ass again, this time harder.
"What? Did you think this is gonna be all nice and shit? You still wrote a bad grade. Gonna have to punish you at least a little hm."
He does it again, over and over again until my whole ass is fire red. His thrusting of course continues without faltering. "Fuck I'm close." I groan, my eyes already shut. His hand slides under my body towards my clit and starts rubbing circles on it with his fingers.
"Come around my cock baby." And shit, I did. I feel my walls clenching around him, milking him almost. I hear him groan behind me and his thrust getting more uneven. "O-oh fuckk.." I feel him coming inside me, his head falling down against my shoulder.
"Shit, you always do this to me." he says before kissing my skin. "What do you mean?" "You always pull me in, would have fucked you no matter what grade you got. You just got me wrapped around your finger." I smile at his words, knowing damn well he got me hooked too.
The end was Kida rushed I'm sorry, let me know If you liked it 👀
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#slytherin boys#slytherin imagine#slytherin smut#harry potter imagine#mattheo riddle masterlist#mattheo riddle blurb#mattheo riddle x you#mattheo riddle headcanon#mattheo riddle imagine#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle#mattheo riddle smut#professor mattheo riddle
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Hey, I saw some other headcanons similar to this and absolutely loved the concept! Adam x reader, love at first sight? Like he just makes it his mission to go out with reader afterwards?
Adam falling love at first sight
Note: TY FOR REQUESTING!!! This is also before the big fight on ep 8!
Female!Reader
Warnings: Cussing, creepy behavior, adam is smitten for you 🌺🌺
When he first sees you, he immediately was struck by an unfamiliar feeling. Who the hell is this chick?
He has never felt this way about Lilith, or even Eve, so what was different about you? He had to find out. And usually when he sees a pretty face on a woman, he thinks of vile, guttural thoughts. But with you, all he thought about was the way you looked so graceful, and how you carried yourself, and your beautiful eyes, and your glistening skin, and your-
Lute had violently interrupted him from his daydreaming, by basically yelling at him for the whole promenade to hear.
He had Lute immididietley do some detective digging on you. He at first was going to go up to you to ask for your digits, but he felt... nervous?
After lute reported back about her findings, she had told him all about you. He didn't know it, but he was truly in love. He just could not stop thinking about you, and how to get you.
He told Lute about these feelings, and when she explained, 'Sir, it seems you are in love', he flat out refuses it. He tries to convince himself you are just some hot broad, that he just happened to run into.
If he were in a meeting with Sera, he would have you running laps in his mind. Planning the next extermination? Goddamnit, get out of my head you stupid bitch!
He comes to the conclusion that to stop thinking about you, he needs to talk to you. So he sad Lute figure out your number and address, and thats when he tries to get with you.
This man will literally rehearse his first meeting with you in the mirror, as if he is a teenage boy going on his first date. But he isn't, and this is definitely not his first date, or at least, this is his first real time trying to impress a woman. Because usually, he does not need to act fly to get any girl he wants.
After you find out he is THE Adam, you flat out say no, because you dont want that kind of attention. So you start to ignore him. But that just motivates him to keep contacting you.
XXX-XXX-XXXX 5:31
Hey babes, wyd? you down for dinner tonight? Just you and me.
XXX-XXX-XXXX 5:33
Or maybe we can watch a movie and chill?
XXX-XXX-XXXX 5:47
C'mon babe, how can you refuse me? Ill meet you there in 30 ;)
XXX-XXX-XXXX 5:50
Hey, respond?
XXX-XXX-XXXX 7:10
Hey sugar, lets do something tmrw isntead since your clearly busy 😘
He will send you huge bouquets of flowers, along with a handmade book he made, filled with "anonymous love letters" which you can clearly tell are from him due to his messy handwriting.
He will then eventually "accidentally" bump into you. Every time he does, you are basically forced to talk to him and listen to his tangents, on how going out with him is the best choice you will ever make.
And honestly, he just does not stop bothering you. Even if you were to straight up tell him to leave you the fuck alone, he wont.
"Hey y/n whats up? Whacha doing tonight...? Maybe it can include me. im free yknow, if you ever wanna hang. Im great at choosing places or if you want you can choose-"
He is truly in love with you. He wants you to eventually be his future wife in his mind, making you the third. And in his mind, you already are.
If you just keep telling him off for months, hell, maybe even years, he will never get over you and your beauty.
If you eventually say yes to a date, he will be so excited, but will play it off because hes just chill like that. But he is down so bad for you, and honestly wants you all to himself.
#adam hazbin hotel#adam x reader#hazbin hotel adam#adam x reader hazbin hotel#adam smut#adam fluff#adam hazbin#adam x you#adam x y/n#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel smut#helluva
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