#I didn't edit this shit at all so please... forgive me

[c0tt0ncandi]

💜 A Sunday Kinda Love.💜

Hey y'all!! So Sinners has temporarily pulled me out of retirement. Forgive my writing I'm a little rusty.

Parings: Stack x OC feat. Smoke x Annie.

Word count: A Lot. 😭

Warning: Just a 🤏🏽 Mary shade, protective Smoke, and Annie being perfect per usual. Pretty fluffy. It's a pretty long one shot so I'd grab a blanket and something to snack on.

A/N: I wrote and edited this on my phone so PLEASE forgive any mistakes or weird spacing. Please don't steal my picture or story. I worked really hard on this and I hope you guys love it. 🫶🏽 I'm really sensitive y'all so be kind. Please?! 🙏🏽😭

Summary: Stack is looking for love, but can he find what his brother has? The women he's interested in just aren't cutting it and he's not sure if "sweet" is quite what he's looking for yet. Or is it?

Lena walked home from the market in her yellow dress and two braids laid against her scalp on a breezey April day. Spring was her favorite time of year. She loved being outside and leaving her windows open while she read her favorite books or napped. Others called her crazy for leaving her windows opened, but the breeze flowing in between her curtains was relaxing and kept her cool. Besides Lena's place was protected by her friend Annie's magic. She sometimes traded her pastries for protection. That's all Lena really wanted. No money spells and no love spells. Nothing more than protection and safety for her and her home.

It was just Lena so it wasn't that smart to leave the windows opened, but as of now she was safe living alone with nobody, but her, Annie's protection, and her baseball bat.

Lena took a seat at an empty park bench in front of a pond and put her bags down next to her. She had two chapters left in the book and she just had to finish it. The walk home was probably seven minutes away from the park and twenty from the market, but she didn't mind taking a quick reading break today.

"Aye one of these days someone is going to rock your shit and I can't help you. Stack your mouth is going to get you in trouble and so is fucking married women!" Smoke hollard at his brother as he furiously drove to his and Annie's house. His brother was definitely a ladies man, but he took it too far. A good woman was hard to find so taking one from a man that went in front of the congregation and said I do is a death sentence in his eyes. If anyone even stepped to Annie or attempted to talk to his wife he had no qualms of shooting him right then and there. He's done it before and he'll do it again.

Stack sucked his teeth as he brushed his brother off. "Ain't no nigga steppin' to me about shit. Especially not about his bitch."

His brother shot a look at him before focusing back on the road. "Keep calling them bitches especially field bitches and imma knock yo ass out myself. Our mama was a black woman in the field too so you disrespect them you disrespecting her. Another thing if they bitches why you keep fucking them and riskin' your life for some already owned pussy?"

"You preachin' this bullshit to me while you got someone to lay in bed with. Spend your nights and mornins with, cook for you, suck your dick, and live happily ever after with! What do I got, huh?!"

"Nigga I should bust you upside yo' head. You look for sex not a relationship! You look for temporary not forever. You look for those loose girls that want what you want and get mad when they get you before you can get them! I'm surprised yo dick ain't burning right now."

"Well my bad brother. Not everyone can find their forever at 15." Stack sucked his teeth as he looked at his surroundings passing by.

"Every fuckin' excuse in the mother fuckin' book."

Silence rang louder than the engine on their way home.

"I want you to find your own Annie. Not that white skinned broad either. Fucking with her will get yo black ass lynched. They don't give a fuck that she's got that one drop of nigger. She looks like them and she lives like them."

Stack shook his head. "She don't know the word no. Plus her ass can't cook. She turned her nose up to collard greens and measured her sugar for sweet tea."

They both broke the tension with a shared laugh.

Lena had finished her book and it was the perfect ending. The guy got the girl and they lived a happy life after. It was everything she wanted and more. Lena walked home with a smile and a new tune playing in her heart. She couldn't wait to get home and put some music on while she soaked in the bathtub.

As she was walking home a red Model T came zooming past her. Now Lena was a sturdy girl, but they almost knocked her over with the speed they were going. Lena collected her balance and continued walking home.

Stack's head flew back to the thick brown skinned woman in yellow walking by. He wanted Smoke to stop the car, but his brother had just lectured him about woman so he kept his mouth shut. Hopefully he would run into her when he was by himself. She was mighty fine and plenty thick and he didn't want Smoke to blow it for him.

Lena woke up to the sound of birds chirping, her fan slowly blowing, and car horns going off miles away. She stretched out her arms and sat up as she expressed her gratitude for waking up today. Hopeful for a good day Lena got up and headed to the restroom to start her day.

Stack rolled his eye and squeezed the pillow over his ears. No breakfast, no talking, no good morning just Annie's moans and a squeaky headboard. He was happy for his brother, but damn. Every morning? He wanted his own Annie. She was his brother's world. It would sometimes dawn on him that she was his other half. Sure sometimes it made him jealous because as a twin that should've his role, but that was the point of finding your soulmate and partner, right?

He got himself ready for the morning. As he was leaving the bathroom a glowing Annie walked out in a robe with his brother following behind her. He on the other hand looked like she gave him the ride of his life. Tank top was slightly ripped, lips swollen, and a bit of a limp.

Stack wanted to be jealous and mad about it, but he couldn't do anything but laugh. "She to' yo ass up!" His head dropped back with laughter as Annie tucked her head away into Elijah's neck.

Elijah wrapped his arms around his wife and shrugged with a small smile. "Worked me up an appetite. I'm starvin." He groaned into her ear before placing a slap to her ass.

Stack walked into the kitchen and shook his head. "Y'all real annoyin'."

Lena had her hair out. She noticed the aftermath of taking the braids out caused cute chunky curls to frame her face. She slipped her earrings in and put on her white sneakers. She had thrifted a cute red and white polka dotted dress that stopped above her ankles, an anklet that she made with old earrings and cute trinkets sat on her ankle. She threw on a little lipstick and rubbed her body down with some butters that she made herself. Lena grabbed her satchel, keys, and a new book that she started on last night and she headed out the door.

Lena needed to grab a few things from Grace and to return a book today to the library. Just a walk a few minutes shy of twenty minutes.

"Hey Lena!" The older gentleman a few minutes from her house greeted as he took his hat off to address the young woman. "I have some extra apples from my tree. Do you mind cooking me up a pie? I got whatever ingredients you needen to make it."

"No problem, Mr. Willie. When do you need it?" She asked never stopping her stride.

"No rush! Sunday morning after church would be perfect though."

"Throw in a few squash and a head of cabbage and I'll make you two pies. That sound good?"

"Sounds good to me. I'll drive them to your house later on today."

"I'll be back. Heading into town. Probably gonna stop by Chow's. Y'all need anything?" Stack asked as he fixed his hair and adjusted his cuff links.

"What you want for dinner tonight?" Annie asked as she handed Smoke his plate.

"Don't really matter to me long as it's meat and potatoes."

Annie shook her head with a smile. "Pot roast it is."

"With Sweet tea?"

"Anything for you Elias."

"Love you, sis!" He shouted before he headed out the door.

Lena left the library and was headed to Chow's to grab some material from Grace. Grace wanted her to make a skirt for her and Lisa this week. Lena loved working for them because they always paid well and brought her customers. The flowers in their store were from her garden. She brought some by every week. If they needed help she was usually the first person they called. If not her then it was Annie.

Lena didn't have a 9-5, but she worked just about every day. If she wasn't doing it for money it was for food or items. If someone needed help delivering a baby they called her. If someone was hurt or injured they'd usually come to her. Alterations? Flowers? Baked goods? She was the go to girl. That was also the reason many people didn't mess with her. You never bite the hand that feeds you.

"Hey, girl!" Grace greeted as she finished up with a customer.

"Hey, Lisa." Lena greeted the young girl with a smile after hugging Grace. Lisa didn't smile much, but she always smiled at and gave Lena a hug.

"Did you bring me somethin'?" She asked quietly so her mother couldn't hear.

"You already know I did." The sweet woman whispered and snuck the little girl two big chocolate chip cookies wrapped in brown parchment paper.

"Thank you!" She squealed. Her head turned towards the window and her lips perched at the sight of a tall man in red walking into her dad's shop.

"Lisa," Grace called and nudged her head towards the register. Grace walked from behind the counter and took Lena to the back.

As Stack was talking to Bo his head turned at the site of a woman with a fitted mini skirt walk in.

Bo hit his friend's shoulder and shook his head. "That's MRS. Suzette. Married to THE "one punch" Theodore."

Stack sucked his teeth. "What you do talk to Smoke? I'm just lookin'."

"That man that LOOKED at Annie got shot in the knee. These men are serious about their wives."

"You'd shoot for Grace?"

"If you even have to ask I'm not showing her enough love." Bo replied. "You need to talk to Grace's friend. She's real sweet and is a great cook."

"Ion know if I'm ready for sweet." He replied as he adjusted his collar and looked around.

It was Bo's turn to suck his teeth. "That's your problem. You keep finding someone to wet your whistle and that's it. There's more to a partner than sex. Find someone that builds you up and is there through thick and thin. Doesn't get tired of seeing your face everyday. The person you run to for comfort and vice versa. Someone you trust with your entire life. That's what Sweet gets you."

"You point her in my direction and I'll dip my tongue in it."

"Toe! The expression is toe, fool!" He playfully shoved his friend's shoulder.

Stack laughed as he placed his toothpick in his mouth.

"I'll bring these back to you by Saturday. Bye Grace. Bye Lisa."

The little girl waved as she got ready to cash out a customer.

Lena walked home with material in her bag and a few chocolates in hand. She strutted home with a tune in her head and a pep in her step.

"This girl you talking about. What she look like?" Stack asked as he picked at a few grapes that were on ice.

"She's a stacked one. Hourglass, brown eyes, and she always smells real good. She lives like 20 minutes away. She might be with Lisa now. Peak ya head in and see if she in there. She's supposed to be making them some dresses or something!" Bo shouted as Stack headed out of the door.

Stack headed across the street on a mission to see if said woman was still there. He was always allowed into the Chow's establishment, but her shop was mostly white people and it was usually frowned upon to have a black man shop with them. Stack really ain't give a damn.

"Grace, your thick friend still here?"

Grace rolled her eyes. "Who Lena?" Her eyes widened at the realization. "Hell no. You leave her alone. She's way too good for you. She's got her head on straight. She's not one of your whores." Grace put on a smile as one of her customers asked her a question. "Ten cents." She turned her head back to Stack and started pushing him out of her store. "She already left. If you see her leave her alone. Bye Stack."

Stack snatched an apple from her stand before heading back to his car.

As he was driving he took his knife out and tried to cut his apple. He looked up last minute and swerved to avoid hitting a large rock in the road causing him to cut his hand open. "Shit!" As he looked over he saw the same girl from yesterday walking in a red dress today. "Ooohwee it must be my lucky day!" He looked at his hand " Almost lucky. This can wait" and immediately stopped his car for her

Lena was almost at her house probably less than ten minutes away when she saw that same red Model T car zooming past her only this time it swerved and abruptly stopped ahead. It started to back up and she saw a man turn to her. He was very handsome. Hair was neat, had a beautiful smile, nice brown eyes, and a fancy suit. His arms filled out the jacket very nicely too. He wasn't anyone she'd ever seen before, but he was a good looking man.

"Good evenin'." Stack greeted with a nod.

"Evenin'." Lena greeted sweetly.

"Where you headed? This is the second day I've seen you walking. You must live close by, no?"

Her head cocked to the side as she tried to read him. "I might. This your second time seein' me? You ain't say nothin' to me the first time so why now? I wasn't good enough to stop for yesterday?" She teased.

He nervously chuckled his hand still bleeding. "No. My brother was actually driving and refused to stop." He reached over to open the door for her to get in.

Wary, she stepped back with hesitation. Although he was good looking she didn't know him. As soon as Lena was going to decline she noticed his hand was bleeding. "Your hand. That's a lot of blood. You need to put some pressure on it before you bleed out."

"Oh this?" He said as he lifted his hand "Naw it ain't that bad."

She hopped in and ripped an extra piece of fabric off that she had in her purse and wrapped it around his hand. "Put some pressure on it and move over." Lena hovered her body over his to get in the driver's seat as he moved underneath her.

He bit his lip and dropped his head back at the feeling of her ass brushing up against him. She was too focused on getting him bandaged up that she didn't even notice.

Lena hadn't driven in over a year, but she remembered how to do it. For the most part. "I'm takin you to my house to fix your cut. Is that okay?"

"Yeah." He was feeling a little faint. "Got anything to drink? Anything to eat?"

"You feelin weak?" She quickly handed him her purse. "I have some chocolates. We're almost home. Just snack on that until I can get you some water."

After a few more minutes they reached her house. She stopped the car and turned it off before getting out. She grabbed her bags and headed to the door with Stack following behind.

They headed in the house and she immediately grabbed some water, an apple turnover, and her first-aid kit. "Here have a seat. Eat this first."

He quickly took a bite and was taken by surprise. "These real good." He complimented as she pulled a chair up to him and took his hand in hers. "You got some soft hands and smell good, too. Sweet."

"Thanks I made them this morning." She ignored the other two compliments. She was here to help not sweet talk with him.

"They're good. Did you hear what I said about,"

"You ought to be mo' careful. Why was your knife out while you were drivin anyways?" Lena interrupted.

"Ummm I was eating my apple."

"Eatin' and drivin'? Sounds awful dangerous especially with how fast you drive."

"I wasn't going that, OUCH!" Stack flinched and pulled back.

"Don't be a baby. A big strong man like ya self squealin over some alcohol?" She lowered her head to his hand that sat on his lap and gently blew on his cut. Lena gazed up at him as he looked down at her.

His eyes dark and focused on her.

"Better?" She asked above a whisper.

"Y- yeah." His eyes watched as she efficiently and delicately stitched him up.

She hummed a soft lullaby as she grabbed a bandage and a pair of scissors. Lena clipped at the extra stitching and followed up with a secure bandage. "There. You all stitched up." She finished with a satisfied smile. Her eyes big and soft. Safe.

"Thanks." His hand still in hers.

Stack felt something but didn't know what he was feeling. He was happy. He was in awe. He was calm, but turned on, but not like usual. He wanted to get to know her. To be around her. She had him mesmerized.

He looked around the house and although it was small and filled with a lot personality it was neat. "Looks like you're a jack of all trade. Mind me askin what you do?"

Lena wiped her hands off and closed the kit. "If you askin what my title is I don't have one. I just do a little bit of everything for everyone. Little Lisa? I helped deliver her. Those flowers you always seein' at Bo's stores? They from my garden'. I do just about everything, but fix cars." She confessed with a giggle as she crossed her legs in front of him.

"Don't worry about that. I'm mighty handy when it comes to some wheels. I didn't see a car when we pulled up tho."

"I don't own one. Ain't no point. I don't go no further than the market." She poured two glasses of sweet tea and brought it to him.

"Thank you." He took a sip and he couldn't help but shake his head.

Lena's eyes widened at his reaction. She had the best tea on this side of town and she never heard anyone complain.

He pulled the tea back to examine it as a big smile spread across his face. "Probably the best damn tea I've ever had, but don't tell my sister Annie that."

Lena cocked her head to the side and stopped making the sandwiches to look up at him. "Annie? Moore?"

He chuckled and stood to his feet to walk over to her. "Married my brother 8 years ago. Been in our lives for 12. How you know her?"

She closed the bread to the sandwich and cut it in half. "I buy protection from her."

"You believe in it?" He asked as she handed him a plate.

"I believe in Annie. I believe she don't put her name on anything crazy. Her work been keepin' me out harms way."

Stack couldn't argue with that. She kept him and his brother protected while away at war. Hell kept him safe from some of these jealous husbands too.

He took a bit of the sandwich and stood in front of her shorter thick frame. "I should probably ask, do you have a husband?"

Lena leaned back against her table and took a bite. She shook her head. "Don't need one."

Stack chuckled, but stopped when he noticed her raise a brow.

"What's funny?"

He shook his head and wiped his mouth. "Nothin'. Just thinkin' what if someone break in? Havin' a man will protect you."

"Annie protects my home every month and the good Lord protects me everyday." She crossed her arms and looked up at him.

He smiled. "Okay. What if somethin' break?"

"My daddy taught me how to fix things. If I can't fix it Mr. Willie up the street has no problem helpin' me."

"Can't reach somethin'?"

"It's my home. I ain't puttin' somethin' somewhere I can't reach." She quipped with a small smile.

"Somethin' heavy? I'm pretty sure when you go out you need someone to help carry heavy things for you."

"I've always made a way." Lena replied.

"What about sex?" He inquired as he finished his sandwich and stepped closer.

"Sex ain't that important to me. I can handle some of that on my own." Lena replied with a raised brow. "Everything you sayin' I can find a way. Is that all you think you good fo'?" She asked. It was her turn to step closer to him. "Sex and heavy lifting?"

"And protection." He said slightly embarrassed by his answer.

"Baby, if I get a man. A husband" she said as a matter of fact. "I want him to know his worth in this world. Yes my husband can fix, lift, and lick things for me, but is he going to be there for me when I'm ill? Rub my feet when I'm pregnant? Will he support my temporary hobbies that I randomly pick up from time to time? If I'm too tired to cook is he going to make a big fuss about it or is he going to get straight to it in the kitchen? What if I'm having a bad day and don't want to talk? Are you going to be mad at me for my emotions? Will my husband speak as highly of me when I'm not around like I would do for him? Will my husband make love to more than just my body, but my mind and my soul? If I don't feel like having sex are you going to be mad and seek it out else where? I want to come home to peace and so should my husband. A healthy form of communication and respect on both ends is very important to me. I just want to make sure that if I'm going to spend the rest of my life with someone I need to know he's going to be there with me every step of the way without wavering."

"I can be that." Stack answered. "I love when my woman cooks for me, but I can also throw down in the kitchen. When our baby is cryin' and you spend all day nursing I'll be the one to wake up and change em'. You want to randomly ski in this 90 degree weather I'll be the first one in line at the ski store. Hell I'll build you some myself. I can oil your scalp when you too tired to do so and I can run your bath water after a rough day. If you don't want to talk I'll sit here with you in silence until you're ready. However I'd hope you'd never get so down to where I can't hear that pretty ass voice of yours. Be a damn shame." He teased.

He closed the little bit of space between them and rested his hands on either side of her.

Lena watched his eyes scan her face. From her brown almond eyes, round cheeks, to her plump lips. He focused on her lips longer than she needed him to. Lena was no stranger to eye contact so he wasn't intimidating. She had strong will and knew no amount of flirting and flashing of his dimpled smile was going to make her fold.

His head dipped down for a kiss, but Lena moved her head to avoid his tempting lips.

He couldn't help but laugh. He'd never had someone reject his kiss before.

Lena smiled at him and took his face in her hands. "You should head home now and get some rest. It's starting to get late. Annie and your brother might be trying to figure out why you're not home yet." Her fingers played in his beard before placing a gentle kiss to his cheek. "Goodnight Stack."

"Can I see you tomorrow?" He asked. Borderline begged.

"I've got a pretty busy schedule tomorrow."

"I don't have to do nothin. I can just sit around and wait until you finished. I just want to see you."

She tried to hide her smile, but failed. "I'll be wrapping my day up around 4."

He flashed his grin. "See you tomorrow at 3:30. Goodnight Ms. Lena." He tilted his hat before placing it back on his head and walking out the door.

"Nigga you said you went to Chow's bout 7 hours ago." Smoke pointed out as he finished his second plate. He got up and brought it to the sink to wash and dry.

"Damn. Was I gone that long? My bad." Stack removed his jacket and took a seat. "Where's Annie?"

"Freshin' up for bed." Smoke looked at his brother's hand. "Hell happened to you? You ain't get yo ass in no shit you can't fix, right?"

Stack had a smile on his face.

Annie walks in with her robe on comfortable and ready for bed. "Oh lawd. That boy happier than a tick on a dog. Which young lady did you pay a visit to today?" She handed him a glass of sweet tea and a plate from the stove.

"Thank you. I went to go visit the Chow's, but as I was leaving I got distracted. Ended up cutting my hand on my knife while I was driving and ran into a beautiful lady named Lena."

Annie stood straight up and scanned her brother in law. "What you doin around Lena? She a good girl that mind her business."

"If she a good girl then he ain't want nothin to do with her. Unless you sweet talked her out of her skirt like usual." Smoke assumed.

"Naw, she don't play that. She focused. Sweet girl with a lot of hobbies." Annie looked at his hand. "She stitched you up?"

Stack nodded with a smile. "Fixed me a sandwich and some tea too. We ain't do nothin but talk. That's all I wanted to do. She real nice and a little feisty. Think she'd be interested?"

Smoke scoffed, but Annie nudged his shoulder.

"Your mission to just sleep with her?" Annie asked. She took a plate of pie from Elijah and thanked him with a kiss.

Stack shook his head as he enjoyed his food. "I ain't want that once I started talkin' to her. Ion know how to explain it, but I just liked bein' 'round her. She got a good spirit I guess." He shrugged as he filled his mouth with food.

Elijah fed Annie a bit of the shared dessert. He circled the fork around in the air before asking his question. "What she look like? Must not be your type if you didn't want to have sex."

"She not my usual type, but she real pretty. Brown skin, full hair, round lips, hips, a little healthier than my usual, but that really don't bother me none. She fit it so well." He whistled. "Voice is like butter. She smell good too and got the softest pair of hands"

Annie chuckled. "That girl don't play about her perfumes and butters." She confirmed. "When you gon' see her again?"

"Tomorrow at 3:30. Said she should be done with everything around then."

"What y'all plan on doin?" Smoke asked as his brother got up for a second helping.

"Nothin." He said happily with a shrug. "I'm just goin to talk. Might see if she'll let me fix a few things around the house or somethin?"

Annie chuckled at her brother in law. He was bit by the love bug. It was no surprise though. Lena was a warm and welcoming spirit who minded her business and helped others along her way. She didn't want much just a simple and happy life. Her love hit hard so if Stack wasn't on his best behavior she would have no problem leaving him with a broken heart. Annie knew of her ex that didn't do right by her and she got rid of him. That man been in a miserable marriage with a woman he don't really want. Hadn't truly found love since she left him.

"Just be careful. She might be a good girl, but she ain't no pushover. If you screw up she'll send you on your marry way and not think twice about it." Annie confessed.

"Imma be on my best behavior." He kissed his sister in law's cheek and sat down to finish his food.

"Stack you don't have to fix that it's fine." She advised as he unscrewed the bolts in the fan. It worked the blades just happened to have one speed and that speed was slow. It was too hot and moving too slow for Stack's liking.

"Naw. It's fine. I can fix this. The motor ain't blown just probably got a little dust in the shaft that's all."

Lena sat next to him on the couch and watched as he struggled with one of the screws. She covered her giggle with her hand causing him to lose his focus and look over at her.

"This funny to you?" He put the fan down and turned to tickle her side now causing Lena to double over in laughter.

"You sweatin' on me!" She laughed as she grabbed his arms to leave some distance between them.

He sat up and sighed. "Baby, it's hot in here! I'm tryna fix this fan and you laughin'. I'm strong it's just stuck!" He said in his defense.

Lena gave a sarcastic nod. "Very strong. Need help with that last screw?"

"I'll screw you!" He mimicked under his breath.

He was just joking seeing how he was playing off of her words, but she was turned on by that. She shook it off and just cleared her throat.

He took his button up off leaving him in a tank top and a leather vest holster. His gun was strapped in and his knife at his side. Lena's eyes wondered towards him as his arms flexed once he finally got the screw loose after a few twists and turns.

"Ha!" He turned to her and noticed her direct her eyes from his arms to his face. He smirked and looked her in her eyes. "I got it out."

"I see." She replied softly. Lena moved closer to him on the couch closing in the space between them. "So what's the next step?" She asked looking up at him with those big brown eyes of hers.

Stack cleared his throat. "I umm" he looked away. "I'm just gonna clear this shaft off and put it back in." His eyes widened and his head snapped back towards her. "Back on! I meant back on!" He corrected.

Lena couldn't help but giggle at him being nervous.

He put his focus back on the task at hand and did just that while she got up to grab something to drink. The wind blew through the window causing her dress to fly up a little catching Stack's attention. "Shit." He said to himself.

"You say somethin'?" Lena asked as she headed back over to him. Hips swaying side to side and a soft smile on her face.

He shook his head. "Nothin' just that I fixed it." He put the last screw in and turned it on.

"Awww yes!" Lena cheered on as she sat down next to him. The fan was blowing faster and stronger. "Ugh that feels so good. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Told you I'm good with my hands." He grinned.

"I see." Lena playfully teased. "I know you introduced yourself to me as Stack, but what is your real name?" She asked as she leaned her elbows on her lap to look up at him.

He smiled at her beauty. "Born Elias raised as Stack."

"Elias." His name sung beautifully on her tongue. Very southern, sweet, thick, and sexy. He wouldn't get tired of it.

His eyes scanned her plump lips. He swallowed hard and adverted his eyes to his glass of tea. "Yes ma'am."

"Did you want dinner or is Annie making something for y'all back home? I don't wanna ruin ya appetite. Mrs. Annie a good cook."

"Great cook. She's making pork chops, but I can still eat here if you had planned on cooking. I don't turn no plates down." He laughed.

"I'm just making a salad with salmon croquettes for dinner. Ain't nothin too fancy."

"You say croquettes? They're one of my favorites. I can make room for both."

Weeks had gone by and Elias had been over her house almost everyday. Showing up in the morning and leaving late at night. Smoke would either pick and drop him off or he'd take the car himself. It didn't really matter how he got to her Stack was going to see her either way. Time was spent doing things Stack was never used to doing before. She enjoyed his company and same for him. He'd drive her into town even if she insisted on walking or taking her bike. They even went on a picnic by the lake a few times. Unfortunately the two of them couldn't hang out the following Saturday because she had to finish a new set of dresses for Lisa and Grace, but Lena had planned to see him the Sunday after bright and early.

"Lisa it fits? How bout you Grace?" Lena asked as she sat at their shop past closing. The two ladies came out from the back room and spun around. Smiles were shared by each lady because of how everything turned out. Lisa had a beautiful pink and gold embroidered dress that came past her ankles and Grace had a beautiful blue and gold dress that stopped a little under her knee.

"They're perfect as usual, Lena. Eight for her and ten for me, right?" She clarified as she handed Lena cash plus a small tip.

"Y'all gonna be the talk of the town. The colors fit y'all so well too." The proud craftswomen said in awe. "Lisa how you wearing your hair?" She asked. Grace always wore a low and tucked bun for formal outings, but because Lisa was younger Grace liked to do something a little more age appropriate and fun for her.

The little girl walked over to her to describe what style she and her mother were thinking about. Lena remembered that she had a few ribbons in her bag and pulled one out that matched. "How about a bow?"

Lisa's face lit up and Grace smiled. "Mama look!"

"You tell Miss. Lena thank you. She's gotta head home. You want Bo to give you a ride? He won't mind." Grace asked as she hugged Lisa tightly.

"I'm good. Thank y'all tho. It ain't a far walk. Y'all have a good night tho."

"You sure?" Grace asked again as Lena headed towards the door.

"I'm good Grace. Y'all have a good night!"

Lena walked home in the dark but she had protection on her. Her goal was never to walk home so late, however she got to Grace's later than anticipated. A little bit of the sun was still up before she left the shop so she thought it was fine however the sun set faster than Lena could walk. Purse at her side and shoes hitting the dirt road Lena heard some people talking off into the distance, but less than a minute later a male voice approach her.

"P-pardon ma'am. Where you headed looking so good this time of night?" He said a little too drunk and a little too close.

"I'm headed home thank you. Seems like your company needs you back over there, no?" She quipped as she tried to keep calm.

He threw a lazy arm towards his company. "They be alright. I'm tryna come home with you pretty lady." He stumbled backwards. "Why you diggin in that bag?" He asked stumbling again.

"Just tryna find my lipstick that all." Lena pulled out some protection powder and blew it at him causing him to scream out and fall to the ground.

She continued to walk home, but this time at a faster pace. She had to remember to tell Annie thank you for her protection powder and get some more from her because thinking about how much she blew out she definitely used more than needed. It wasn't her fault though. She panicked plus she never had to use it before, but she was glad she carried it with her.

Not even two minutes later she heard a car pulling up by her. She prayed it was Elias.

"Lena, come on and get in." Annie instructed as she sat in the passenger seat.

"Annie what are you doin on my side of town?" She asked. She looked in the driver's seat slightly startled. She saw a man looking exactly like Stack driving except he wore blue and wasn't talking.

"We had stopped by the Chow's to drop something off and Grace said you had walked home. Ion know why you insist on walking by yourself. You know people crazy."

"I had your powder on me. Wasn't nobody gon hurt me." Her smile was big and bright. Proud.

Annie chuckled. "You a stubborn girl."

Smoke pulled up to her house and stopped. He turned towards Lena and greeted her with a nod. "My brother Stack had some business to handle. He'll be up here in no time to stay with you overnight. Just for safety purposes."

"And don't say you don't need it. I blessed your house, but we can't be too safe."

"I understand."

Turning around by a sound behind her Lena saw Stack jogging in the distance. She hopped out of the car and examined his clothes from afar. His jacket in hand and shirt untucked. She was sure he had done some damage to the guy that approached her. Lena wasn't sure what he did or how bad he handled him, but she was turned on by his disheveled look.

She walked over to Stack and took his face in her hands. She scanned his face and ran her hands down his arm to find any sign of harm.

"I'm okay. That nigga ain't, but he's no longer my problem. Let's head inside." He turned towards his brother and Annie and waved them off. "I'll see y'all tomorrow round noon."

"Thank you again. Bye Annie."

"I'll bring more protection by tomorrow." She waved as Smoke drove off.

The two of them headed up the stairs with his arm around her waist. As soon as they walked in he shut and locked the door and dropped the curtains down. He sat down at the kitchen table as she headed to grab a cold wet rag. Lena kneeled down in front of him, in between his legs, and gently pressed the rag against his skin. "Did he get you?" She asked as she sat back.

He shook his head. "He didn't get a hit in. Come here."

She rarely ever hear him speak like this. Her eyes soften at his tone. Lena sat on his lap as he wrapped his arms around her thick waist. His head rested on her chest and he just took in her heartbeat.

Sounds of crickets, her blowing fan, and the howling dogs were silenced by the matching heartbeats shared between the two of them. A rhythm Stack had loved and gotten used to since being around her. He never stuck around someone long enough to notice if his heartbeat matched there's. He was grateful for experiencing a first with her. It may not mean much to her or anyone else, but to him it felt real. Felt normal. It felt like home.

Lena could tell his mind was racing and he was trying to calm his nerves. She allowed her hand to gently caress his neck. "You wanna get ready for bed?" She asked.

Her eyes scanned his face.

"Yeah." He lifted her up with ease.

"I'm not trying to hurt you."

"You ain't hurtin me, baby." He replied as he headed to the bedroom. Stack gently laid her down before taking his gun off, removing his knife and holster. He placed it at the nightstand next to the bed as he kicked his shoes off.

Without breaking eye contact Lena removed her dress revealing a short lilac colored slip.

Stack removed his shirt and pants leaving him in his boxers.

Lena bit her lip at his muscular frame.

Stack couldn't help but chuckle.

"Why you laughin' at me?" She asked. She made her way to him on all fours to sit in front of him on the bed. Her head tilted to the side as she looked up at him waiting for an answer.

"Cause you're cute. You also try to play innocent, but I catch you lookin' at me. Bitin' your lip and everything."

Lena couldn't help but laugh at him trying to imitate her. She gently nudged him as he laughed.

"I'm just sayin. Hey, I don't mind."

"I'm looking because I like what I see." She confessed.

"I'm surprised you ain't said nothin about me. I'm always looking." He laughed.

"I don't mind." She wrapped her arms around his neck and looked up at him and his brown eyes. "Imma kiss you now, okay?"

"You don't ever have to ask." He whispered seconds before he greeted his lips with her plump set. He moaned at the touch of her lips and the taste of her tongue. Stack lifted Lena up making sure his hands were secured under her ass.

She moaned in his mouth as he gave her a firm yet gentle squeeze.

His lips moved to her neck as he took a seat on the bed. His grip not loosening up as he sat down with her body on top of his. The weight of her on top of him was something he could definitely get used to.

Lena's fingers gently played at his nape as soft moans escaped her lips which caused his breathing to speedup.

He pulled back from her soft skin. Not because he wanted to, but because she was doing everything right. Her gentle caresses and fingernails always made his heart skip a beat and his goosebumps raise. He rested his forehead against hers and took in the gentle gestures. Lena hummed a soft tune as they took in each other's presence.

"Am I getting too heavy?" She asked. This was the first time she was in his lap for this long and wasn't sure if he was comfortable.

"Naw. You just right."

Not wanting to let the softness of her body go just yet Stack stood to his feet with her in hand and pulled the ceiling fan chord to turn the light off. He gently laid her down and settled his body down next to her.

Lena turned towards his body and nuzzled up next to him. "Thank you again Elias. You didn't have to beat that creep up just for me. I was able to hold my own."

He released a sleepy chuckle. "If I didn't he'd think it was okay to try that shit again." Elias hand rubbed up and down her now exposed hip as she stroked his beard. "I don't play about my girl." He poked one eye open to see her reaction.

Lena sat up on her elbow and looked down at him. "Your girl?" She asked gently.

"I've been meaning to make it official. Lena if you don't mind having me will you be my girl? My partner? My person?" His nerves getting the best of him now causing him to ramble. "I don't usually do this. I've actually never done this so I'm not sure if I'm,"

She stopped him with a kiss. Tasting his tongue yet again was becoming a favorite of hers. His hands gripping her ass as Lena's hands gently ran down his stomach. Stopping at his waistband. She pulled away to catch her breath. Her breast rose as she caught her breath. Her brown eyes scanned his face with a smile. "My answer is yes."

"Yes?" He grinned ear to ear. He pressed a quick kiss to her lips again before pulling back to look at her. He had never done this before. He wanted to put his best foot forward. Be on his best behavior. He wanted to build his own world with her the way his twin brother built his with Annie.

Stack took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Baby I'm tryna to be good right now and your hand is umm,"

Realization kicked in and she lifted her hand from the band of his boxers with a giggle. "Awww I'm sorry!" She cooed. "I appreciate you being patient with me, but baby we don't have to be innocent everyday." She confessed with peppered kisses in between.

"Wait now don't tempt me!" He threw his body over hers and immediately rammed his face in between Lena's neck causing her laugh to fill up the room.

"You think that boy was on his best behavior last night?" Smoke asked Annie as he watched her get dressed.

Annie chuckled. "He ain't walk home last night so I think he did alright." Annie turned to her husband and tilted her head to the side with a smile. "What's wrong, Elijah? Why you so worried about your brother and Lena, hmm?" She asked as she stood in front of him. Her hands gently laid on his firm shoulders as she awaited his answer.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and shook his head. "I just worry about him gettin' in trouble. Messin' with his future. I'm scared he ain't gon find love and he just gone be by himself forever. I can't be with him every step of the way. I want him to find his other half."

"Elijah you already know everyone has a different walk of life. His ain't gone be the same as yours or mine. Lena might be who he needs in his life. He's hardly here with us anymore and I'm sure he would've bragged about getting himself some from her, but he hasn't. She got him baking cookies from scratch, goin' on picnics, readin' books by the lake. She's good for him and I think he knows that. You gotta trust your brother to find his way his own way." She kissed her husband's lips and rubbed his arms. "Come on let's head over and pick him up. That was his first time staying over so he probably don't wanna come home tonight." She teased.

Lena was taking a nice bath and reading her book when Elias asked to join her. He sat across from her on the floor and took her book and began reading it to her letting her get lost in the fairytale. She had raised her leg and enjoyed the bubbles that sat on top of the warm water cover her leg only to slowly pop with the warm winds blowing through her windows.

Elias put her book down and watched as her thick thigh lifted up and he had every thought imaginable run through his mind. Her eyes focused deadset on him as her smooth brown skin was exposed with every gust of wind. He was doing a damn good job the last few months, but temptation was getting to him every second of the day.

He stood closer to Lena and placed his hands on both sides of her on the porcelain tub. "Keep teasing me with that leg and imma jump in here with you."

She smiled at his threat and was hoping he made it a promise. "What's stopping you?"

He took his shirt off and stepped in one foot at a time with his pants on.

"Elias!" Lena screamed with laughter as he got in halfway dressed just to join her.

Stack hovered over her completely wet and just smiled. He looked her in the eyes and leaned in for a soft kiss. Nothing too long or harsh. Just soft enough to make her heart flutter and lips want more. "You probably the best thing to ever happen to me, ya know? I ain't been this happy in a while and I want to thank you." He confessed.

She gently took his face in her hands and saw the honesty in his eyes. She wasn't looking for a partner or a man. She just so happened to go with her gut with him and she was happy she did. He had brought nothing but peace and happiness into her already peaceful and happy life. He wasn't trying to change it or her just enhance it and he did that times ten. She was forever grateful for him.

"I'm so glad I got in your car to stitch you up two months ago." She confessed with a smile.

"You and that smile healed me up that day."

Lena's eyes started tearing up.

"That ass kept me around though."

She couldn't help but fall into a fit of laughter. Leave it to Elias to make her capture so many emotions all at once. "I can't with you."

He shrugged and kissed her nose. He stood to his feet, leaned over to grab the towel and helped her up. He wrapped her up in a towel and helped her out of the tub.

As they were drying off she got a knock at her door. Elias gently guided her behind him as they headed towards her door. "Who is it?"

"It's Jim Crow nigga open up."

"Elijah!" Annie shouted as she tugged his arm.

Stack opened the door and Lena welcomed them in.

The look of confusion read on Smoke and Annie's face as they saw a wet Stack and a towel clad Lena.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'm going to make myself presentable. Elias see if they want some of that pound cake." She said before disappearing into her room.

"Y'all want some? I helped her bake it the other day."

"It's edible?" Smoke asked as he received a plate from his brother.

"Elijah be nice in other folks home." Annie scolded.

"Why would I offer you somethin' that ain't edible, fool? My baby helped me make it." He said with pride.

Lena walked out and handed Elias a pair of slacks that she made for him a while back. He thanked her with a kiss before heading to the bathroom to change. Lena sat on her couch and smiled. "Thank y'all again for last night. I do appreciate it. Elias helped make that pound cake. He was so proud of himself once it slipped right on out the pan." She confessed with a giggle.

"It's good. Elias should be proud of himself." Annie confessed.

"My brother ain't been crossing the line with you has he? He been respectful?" Elijah asked as he put his empty plate down.

"Oh yes, sir. Always respectful with me. He's always so thoughtful, too. Very kind and a great listener. He lets me ramble on and on about nothing sometimes just so he can hear my voice." She nervously giggled.

Smoke gave her a content nod.

Annie smiled. She pulled a bag out of her pouch and handed it to Lena. "Here's some more protection powder and a mojo bag. Keep this on you at all times. You don't gotta wear it around your neck everyday just keep it on you any way you can, okay?"

"My baby made me and my crazy brother one. We was skeptical about it at first, but it's proven many of times to keep us out harms way. I suggest you keep it close to you when you heading to the market by yourself." Smoke informed.

Annie shared a proud smile at him and took his hand in hers. He gave her a gentle squeeze in return. He wasn't always a believer, but time proved itself over and over again that what she was doing was the truth. The proof was in the pudding. Ain't no way around it.

"Elias you plan on heading back home with us now? We ain't trying to take up her whole Sunday." Smoke asked.

"Oh I don't mind. If y'all want we can have a little cookout today? Elias and I went to the market a few days ago so I have plenty of food to share and cook. I can make a fresh batch of tea, too. Mr. Willie up the street brought me some extra vegetables from his garden. If I don't use it up it'll go to waste and I would hate to trash good vegetables."

"Yeah stay and celebrate." Stack added.

"Celebrate what?" Smoke quizzed. His eyes went back and forth between the two sitting in front of him. They were practically sitting on top of each other and their fingers were locked.

"I asked her to be my girl last night. She said yes. I know it ain't marriage yet," he clarified "but it's the first step. Hopefully she says yes to that too when I ask her in the near future."

Annie looked so proud of her brother in law. He seemed like an enhanced man. Not necessarily change because he was always gonna be Stack, but it seemed like Lena made him want to be a better man. She prayed it all worked out for them because he deserved that happiness that he was always searching for.

Smoke's features softened at his brother's new found happiness. He always wondered if he'd ever find someone and although he only knew about Lena from Annie and Stack she seemed like the best person for him. His brother always spoke so highly of her. He was never vulgar when it came to her or crude. Always respectful and that's all he could ask for.

"Well my schedule is free, baby?" Smoke asked as he looked at Annie.

She smiled and gave her a nod. "Sounds good to me. Thank you and congratulations. I'm proud of you Elias."

Stack smiled wide as he gripped Lena's hand.

"Alright I'll start getting some water boiling. Excuse me." She stood to her feet, gave Elias a kiss, and headed into the kitchen to start cooking.

Annie got up to help leaving the brothers to talk amongst themselves.

"I'm proud of you. Seems like you got yourself a good one."

"Yeah. She real sweet. Got a heart of gold."

Stack continued to tell Smoke all about his plans. He was going to get a car and probably move in with her before getting married. He wasn't in a rush, he wasn't going anywhere and neither was she, but he wanted to make sure everything was set up to give her a perfect life that she deserved.

Stack watched as his girl and his sister in law laughed together about whatever conversation they were having. This was the life he wanted to live. He was glad that he stopped when he did that warm spring day.

[mybelovedsylus]

Another day another smutty drabble. You know the drill, no minor interactions please. I’m a Sylus girlie who still quite enjoyed the unhinged Caleb - so I got to thinking. Sylus would definitely want to make sure Caleb knew that you were taken - granted a little OOC cause he likes these intimate moments to be private, but I couldn’t get the idea of him calling Caleb while fucking MC to prove a point… so well that’s what this shit is and that’s your warning. Hope you like it - not edited as always. I'm still working on my smut writing too so forgive me

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Sylus knew he was a possessive motherfucker. Of that he had no doubt, but if he did he knew for sure when he had your ankles draped loosely over his shoulder as your phone dialed next to your head on speakerphone.

"You can not be serious right now," you gasped, hands clutching against nothing as Sylus' evol kept them pinned to the bed. Couldn't have you hanging up prematurely now could we? Not when there was a point to be proven.

"Pipsqueak, what's up?"

Sylus sneered as soon as he picked up, like that wasn’t exactly what his intention was. He looked from the phone to you and raised an eyebrow, waiting for you to respond. As you opened your mouth, he slammed all the way home causing a moan to rip out of your throat, which you were quick to try and muffle by biting down hard on your lip. Sylus looked downright gleeful, the red of his eyes practically glowing.

"You okay over there?" Caleb's voice came through gentle but questioning.

"Ye-yeah, just stubbed my toe?" you gasped out but it sounded unsure. Well now that wouldn't do. Sylus leaned down, essentially folding your knees into your chest, which in turn pushed him even further into you which you couldn't help but groan at. His mouth latched on to your peaked nipple, flicking and tweaking it as his hand reached up to lavish the other with similar attention.

"You must have really stubbed it good, do you need me to bring dinner and some medical aid?" Caleb offers sweetly.

"NO!"

There's silence on the line and you glare as Sylus chokes back a laugh as he leans back, resuming a lazy pace and wiping the hair out of your eyes. The sweet gesture is a stark contrast to the debauchery happening here. Sylus is drawing it out, giving slow lazy thrusts that drag every vein and inch over your sensitive spots, dragging you closer and closer to that precipice. You need Caleb to hang the fuck up before that happens.

"I appreciate the - fuck - offer, but really I'll be okay."

You know it comes out like phone sex, airy and deep, but that's because it's like Sylus can read my mind and is trying to get me over the peak as quick as he can - like he wants Caleb to hear just what he does to me. This possessive motherfucker - but also what does that say about you that you find yourself getting wetter at the idea?

"Uh, okay, was that all you called to tell me? That you stubbed your toe, but otherwise you are fine?" Caleb asked. You could tell he didn't believe a word of what you were trying to sell.

"Mhm," you gasp out as Sylus draws tight circles over your clit, picking up the pace of his thrusts. You are starting to wonder if the slap of skin and the rough slide through your wetness is echoing on the phone like it is in your ears.

"Okay," he draws out, suspicion evident in his tone, "I'm just gonna let you go then."

It's too late though. Between the bruising and pistoning pace,and the flicking of your clit, there's not much you can do to hold it back. You try to bite your lip to hold the noises at bay, but Sylus pulls it free with his other hand. He holds your cheeks in a grasp that holds your mouth open, and you cry his name out as your vision goes white and everything in your body pulls taught with your orgasm. He laughs breathlessly, leaning down to suck at the skin of your neck. He turns his head slightly towards the phone, groaning out your name as his hips stutter and he meets you at the peak. He leans more deeply on you, keeping the two of you joined as he reaches over for the phone.

"Aw, looks like your “gege” hung up," he mutters, tossing your phone off the bed as he looks down at you with what you can only say is a boyish smile.

"You are such a possessive asshole, oh my god, how am I ever supposed to look him in the eye again?"

"You can protest all you want, but you were gushing- looks to me like my kitten might have a bit of an exhibitionist in her," Sylus responds with a sly grin, his hand giving a lazy tweak to your overabused clit that makes you jump. You try to pull away and he makes a tsk noise as he follows, ensuring he remains firmly within the snug confines of your walls.

"Where do you think you're going, when did I say I was done with you?"

[lixies-favorite-cookie]

hang the moon ◦ l.f

-going through the ages of time with felix, from when you told him you were pregnant to seeing him braid your baby's hair.

@feelikecinderella I hope you like it it isn't something I usually write, but I adored writing it so thank you so so much for the request ♡

Paring ◦ Dad!Lee Felix x Pregnant!Reader

Words ◦ 4,506(this was originally supposed to be 1,000 words 💀)

Genre ◦ Fluff, Dad!Lixie headcanons, MY FIRST REQUEST MWAHAHA.

Warnings ◦ Felix being the sweetest man in the whole world, super unrealistic ngl, descriptions about pain, crying, reader being kinda moody, sexual content but its literally like two lines and it just says that you give him head and him giving you an orgasm no details at all, felix being hot asf, felix being a model father, a few big bad fuck words, I'm 19 i dont know how pregnancy works so bear with me babes💀, I know their has to be at LEAST 12 spelling errors, not edited (forgive me I have no time) uhhh nothing else I don't think

A/N ◦ I love this so much it was so cute and I stand by the fact if my husband isn't like this with kids I'm not having one (also is anybody else traumatized by their present absent dads my dad was always in my life and I love him to death great father terrible husband never did anything to help my mom out which makes me really scared to have kids can anyone relate?) I just want to apologize in advance for my rambling tendency please forgive me 🙏 Also this isn't in actual bullet point because Tumblr is stupid.

~cookiecreates 🍪

Mommy-to-be!Reader who gets that feeling all mothers get when another body is currently being knitted together inside them. The month you missed your period also helped with the suspicion, but the three pregnancy tests with two thick pink lines screaming at you really confirm your hypotheses that you are indeed pregnant, and it is 100% Felixes.

Mommy-to-be!Reader who is first overwhelmed by all the thoughts that have gathered in your head—the preparations, the options—if you want to keep the baby or not, what are you going to do if he doesn't want to? Oh no, you didn't think about what you would do if he didn't want to keep the baby. How would he react? Your overwhelm quickly changed to an anxiety that bubbled in your stomach when you thought of all the possible outcomes of what could happen to your relationship because of one simple accident. No matter how secure your relationship with Felix is, it's terrifying to think that he might leave, seeing his dreams of being an idol as more important than being a dad.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who was just sitting on the couch fiddling with his computer, when you walk in with your tear-stained face and trembling hands, he immediately goes to comfort mode. "What is it, darling whats w-" he stops in his tracks, seeing the test in your hands and definitely seeing the thick pink lines that tell him you're pregnant...

Daddy-to-be!Felix whose immediate reaction is to gather you up in his arms and twirl you around in the air, overwhelmed by a feeling of unadulterated joy. His whole face is lit up like a Christmas tree, really making his sunshine title shine through.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who can’t really believe it, “Your pregnant.” “Apparently” “Oh my gosh, we're pregnant.” “I don't think that's how that works.” You chuckle, still in mild denial. “Oh yeah, it is part of my DNA is currently inside of you.” He stops, really letting it sink in. “Holy shit, we're going to have a baby! You don't think either of you has ever smiled so big in your lives. 

Daddy-to-be!Felix who goes and tells the group the next day, too ecstatic to keep it to himself.

Uncle-to-be!Group who congratulates the hell out you and Felix, promising to take care of the baby any time you two need a babysitter. Cue spontaneous gift-giving as well; one day you find a stroller on your front porch from Chan, a box of baby clothes from Han, and a diaper bag from Minho, all on the same day.

Uncle-to-be!Chan who promises to spoil the hell out of your little sunshine, letting Felix rant about all his fantasies, how he's going to be the best dad, how you're going to be a wonderful mom, how he's going to buy her the cutest clothes, and how- Chan loves Felix, but he stopped listening after the 25th compliment about how wonderful you are doing with your pregnancy.

Mommy-to-be!Reader who figures out that Han's girlfriend, your best friend, is also pregnant, so you won't have to deal with your pregnancy alone, while Felix is understanding and supportive; he is a guy after all, and some things like how your boobs hurt and are oddly getting bigger, he just won't understand, and that's okay because at least you have a friend who you can rant about your boobies too.

Mommy-to-be!Reader who promises not to tell anyone about Han's girlfriend's pregnancy. Due to her request, she and Han have already agreed that they are planning a very big event to tell the boys, and she doesn't want it to be spoiled because of your loose lips.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who's so gentle with you, even during the days when your bump is so little, it's almost nonexistent, always asking if you're okay or if you need some food, water, or if the baby is okay? Is she hungry? Maybe thirsty? You have to remind him that the baby is nothing more than a gathering of cells right now and can't partially talk.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who guarantees that your baby is a girl and no amount of convincing can persuade him he's definitely projecting.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who would refuse to let you get up from nuzzling his face in your practically flat stomach. "Felix, I have to pee." "Do you want me to carry you to the bathroom?" He looks up from your tummy with big boba eyes. You deadpan. "Yeah, okay, you're right. You've got this." Basically, giving you little praise hand emojis🙌, even though his worried eyes stare you down all the way to the bathroom. 

Daddy-to-be!Felix who sends 'how are my girls doing' texts every day at practice, "You know, you don't actually know if it's a girl or not." "I have a feeling."

Daddy-to-be!Felix who treasures you even as you sob into his chest about your nightmares from the Euphoria TikToks you've watched about parents whose relationships crumbled because of having a baby, he dusts kisses over your face, whispering promise after promise on your skin that no matter what relationship won't crumble, this baby is going to make your relationship stronger, closer, better. He loves you too much, just like how he would love you if you were a worm and how he would kiss the prettiest person in the room with the choice between you or the prettiest person in the room because the prettiest person in the room is you (all true conversations you've had in between sobbing sessions).

Daddy-to-be!Felix who deals with all your shit with a smile on his face because he understands how hard it is to carry a fuckabigillion pound baby in your belly, so if you feel like yelling at him because he's home late, then crying in his arms because you regret yelling at him, begging him for forgiveness, he'll do both gladly. Not the forgiveness part; he doesn't forgive you because you didn't need it; he was never mad at you in the first place.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who starts getting concerned when your belly starts getting bigger at a faster rate than the average rate of time that one's belly gets bigger.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who shuts down every accusation that he's been doing research on your pregnancy and that he just happened to know the statistics about rates in which baby bumps grow (what can you say, he's a smart guy🤷)

Daddy-to-be!Felix who makes you promise to tell him all the days that your ultrasounds are on so he can make sure everything with you and his little princess is okay, especially since your bump is getting so big so fast, which he just happened to know and definitely did not do research about.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who gives you the best princess treatment all the time without fail. You don't like your nails; the money is on the counter for a new pair. You want to go shopping for maternity clothes because your jeans are starting to get too tight; he's at the door with his card and a big smile on his face, practically skipping out the door to give you the best day of your life. You want him to hold your bags as you walk around the mall, spending his money on anything you think looks even remotely cute; he'll do it with a sparkle in his eye. Your feet hurt from walking all day with this watermelon-sized child in your stomach; he'll lean down on his knees and stay there, rubbing your feet for hours. No matter what, even if he's exhausted from practice, his girls come first. Which ties into...

Daddy-to-be!Felix who demands time off. Demands it or he's done, leaving the team. (He's not actually going to, but he needs to let the company know he's not going to take their shit). His girls always come first. Reluctantly, they agree that he can take a 4-week break while you are pregnant and a 6-month leave after the baby comes. He glares at them before realizing that that's a pretty good chunk of time, but he's relentless, folding his arms in front of his chest, "and I get to leave whenever they need me." "I don't know about that." Daddy Bear mode activated. The woman trembles, looking at him. "Okay," she mutters reluctantly. Back into teddy bear mode. "Thank you so much. I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day." He turns and walks away like he didn't just make this lady shit her pants. (i highly doubt this is actually how this works but idrc this is called a fanFICTION for a reason )

Daddy-to-be!Felix who doesn't mind one bit doing the dishes and sweeping the floor as long as he sees you safe and sound in your bed, snoring away with your legs stuffed between a fluffy pillow.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who went with you to one of your ultrasounds, and ended up with only 10 minutes to get ready before a photoshoot. He had never felt so many glares in one room. Newsflash: It was worth it, even though they had to rearrange the whole schedule just for him. Han sent him a smile, knowing exactly how he felt.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who gets the worst cuteness aggression as you waddle around.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who just holds you when you burst into tears, feeling so useless as you cry from the pain, not knowing what to do when you start balling because the weight of holding a baby beginning to be too much to bear, so he just holds you, not being able to keep the tears that swarm his vision at bay, especially when he holds your bump, feeling how heavy it is just for him; he couldn't even imagine how heavy it is to carry that around inside of you.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who calls his mom right after just to thank her for going through all the shit of baring a child because he sees how hard it is for you and literally can't believe women all around the world have been going through that for all of time, it genuinely baffles him, he trips out about it for a hot minute.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who takes it up as his personal mission to make you feel like the prettiest woman on the planet when you're with him, especially since he can tell you feel insecure with all the changes your body is making. He sees them, notices them, he doesn't mind them at all, what he minds is how much they are hurting you and he just can't have that. Let's just say the amount of kisses and orgasms he has given you in the past 6 hours makes you feel like the hottest bitch in the world for about 4 weeks after.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who convinces you not to do a gender reveal because he wants it to be a surprise, you are hesitant because you don't like not knowing which gender to buy certain clothes, but you know you currently have a closet full of both baby boy and baby girl clothes because of ✨princess treatment ✨and with a black card and pregnancy hormones, all the clothes at the mall looked cute. What can you say? You're just a girl. 🤷

Daddy-to-be!Felix whose biggest fear is that he's going to be away when you have the baby, and he's not going to be able to comfort you through the most memorable and painful time of your life. It quite literally brings tears to his eyes. You comfort him, telling him that it's okay even if he isn't there. You know he loves you, and you wouldn't mind, but he reminds you constantly, "I don't care if it's in the middle of a concert, a fansign, a meeting that determines my whole entire future; your water breaks, I run."

Daddy-to-be!Felix who is so relieved that your water breaks in the middle of the night when he's home, where you can screech as loud as you can to attempt to get his attention. 

Daddy-to-be!Felix who jumped up from bed so quick, grabbing you and leading you down the stairs, racked with guilt that he couldn't pick you up because A) he literally can't, and B) he's too terrified, he'll fall and hurt you.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who if all the anxiety he has ever experienced in his entire life could be multiplied and put in his body, it would still be so minuscule compared to the way he's freaking the FUCK out right now, but he still tries to calm himself down, and be sober-minded for you.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who when you get to the hospital, they have got him FUCKED UP to think he's ever leaving you. Holding your hand through it all, a part of him has to be on you the entire time. It doesn't matter if he doesn't sleep; he's an idol. Not sleeping is what he does.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who falls in love with you all over again, seeing you push through all the pain—admiring your strength and dedication— he loves you so much and makes sure you know, even in some of the most inconvenient times.  “Big push,” the nurse calls out from under you. “I love you so much, baby, so fucking much, holy shit.” He kisses your hand. “Shut up, Felix, please.” You scream, your body vibrating with pain. “Yes ma'am, shutting up right now.”

 Daddy-to-be!Felix who praises you constantly, “You're doing so well, baby.” "Keep pushing; do you see that, you're almost done?” "I'm so fuckin' proud of you, darling." "The only reason I'm going to see my beautiful baby is because of you. Do you know how much I admire you? I literally can't find the words." “SHUT UP.”

 Daddy-to-be!Felix who lets you hold onto him while you go through all the contractions, digging your nails into his skin, drawing blood, "Ow baby," "sorry," "it's okay, I understand." You obviously are not very sorry, cause two seconds later you're digging deeper into his wounds.

Dad!Felix who is just as ecstatic about them telling him it's a boy as he would be if they were telling him it was a girl, he just has to change his dreams about brushing his little girl's hair to teaching his little boy how to tie a tie (which he is very bad at, but for him, he will attempt to learn).

Dad!Felix who never knew that you could love somebody so deeply without ever even knowing them, but when he holds your little ball of sunshine in his arms and feels their heartbeats intertwining, it all seems so much more real. He has your eyes. His nose, your hands, his toes—he sees bits and pieces of the two of you in every breath he takes. He has just met your baby, and yet he immediately feels like he would burn the whole world down for him.

Dad!Felix who panics when you suddenly start having even more contractions.

Dad!Felix who breaks down in tears when they hand him your second baby, a little girl, whose freckles dust across her cheeks just like his. If he thought he was feeling happy before knowing he gets to experience the best of both worlds at the same time, makes his already bursting heart about 10 times its size. 

Dad!Felix who is sobbing happy tears, a smile plastered on his face as he cuts the umbilical cords off of both his little balls of sunshine, never thinking he would be so excited to do something in his life. 

Dad!Felix who at this point is so surprised that he hasn't had a heart attack with the amount of scares he has gotten in the past 12 hours, especially when his heart jumps out of his chest, as the doctor informs the both of you that you need to be stitched up from where you tore, you are mostly confused because you didn't know you tore. It must have blended in with the excruciating pain that was firing from all areas of your body. "What does that mean? Is she okay? Is she going to die? Is she-"

Dad!Felix who is literally going to pass out because he actually thinks you're going to die.

Dad!Felix who feels real fuckin stupid when the nurses just chuckle and tell him you're not going to die, your vagina ripped while giving birth, that it happens quite often; they just need to sew you up.

Dad!Felix who watches them like a hawk as they sew you up, making sure that they aren’t messing anything up.

Dad!Felix who literally refuses to let you do anything for at least 3 months after your birth, researching the hell out of what can ease your pain, forcing you into bed rest while he takes care of the kids, giving you massages for your aching muscles, pouring you warm baths with rose petals when your stitching hurts or itches, he's so kind and attentive, hating seeing you in pain.

Dad!Felix who is so eager to do anything; getting up when the babies are crying, changing diapers, giving bottles, singing the babies to sleep…

Dad!Felix who loves to sing the babies with his deep calming voice, knowing it puts them to sleep instantly. 

Dad!Felix who loves to eat you out when he finally puts the twins to bed about just as much, noticed the way you were looking at him as he was singing in that deep, sexy voice. 

Dad!Felix who goes right back to the kids 30 minutes later when your moans wake them up.  

Dad!Felix who just can't get over how awesome it is to see how different your babies are, not just in gender but in personality as well.

Dad!Felix who literally despises having the babies cry, does anything he can to stop it, not because it's annoying him, but because it hurts him to know his little angels are sad.

Dad!Felix who will cook dinner with both babies held carefully in his arms—something that seems atomically impossible, but he figures it out.

Dad!Felix who sees the guilt bubbling up on your face, rushing it away with gentle kisses and soft reassurances, ushering you away with a smile. “I know you're tired and hurting. Go take a nap, love, and I'll wake you up when dinner is done.”

Mom!Reader who wakes up from her nap, sees the house cleaned, the dishes done, the babies fed, and put to bed with a steaming meal in front of you, you are more than happy to suck him to the heavens after. Hey, everything's 50/50, right? 

Mom!Reader who begs Felix to get the babies because she can hear them crying through the baby monitor.

Dad!Felix who does it without a second thought. Never once complaining about how you guys could count the amount of sleep you have gotten combined on just one of your hands, he understood the twins were ornery—having a bad case of colic—so to calm them down, he sings to them just like he always does.

Mom!Reader who panics hearing such a deep voice over the baby monitor. In a fit of half-asleep—panic-induced—sleep deprivation run into the baby's room, ready to kill somebody if needed, but your heart melts instead when you meet Felix holding your sniffling twins, rocking them carefully in his arms. Tears pool in your eyes seeing the way his face glew with pure love; even though he looked exhausted, even though there were deep bags under his eyes and spit up on his shirt, no matter how hard life was, at least you know that with Felix, you’d never regret it, not even for a minute.

Dad!Felix who looks up, surprised to see you in the doorway. "Hi baby," he whispers. "Go back to bed, darling. I've got this." You look at him like he hung the moon, and for you, he would. 

Dad!Felix who is the most patient father any child could ever ask for. (I will never get over this. Definitely the type of dad who would help clean up the milk and not just yell because it was spilled)

Dad!Felix who would rather die than yell at his kids, is definitely the gentlest parent known to man.

Dad!Felix who dresses your angels like the next Louis Vuitton ambassadors, "Really, Felix, our four-month-old babies do not need a Louis blazer and jumpsuit." "Who says?” he shrugs. “Um, me, because they're 4 months old.” You enunciate every syllable as though you were talking to one of the babies in question. “Do they even sell this in stores?" “Um, no, I had it custom-made, duh." "Oh my gosh," you facepalm, not before facepalming a little harder, pulling out a Louis pair of sunglasses and a Louis purse just small enough to fit tiny hands. ”You bought the baby a Louis purse?" "Of course, my princess can be without a bag. Look deeper; there's something for mommy in there too.” You pull out a Louis Vuitton diaper bag. 🤦

Dad!Felix who has never really liked confrontation, but when a paparazzi accidentally bumped into you holding the twins because he was trying to take pictures of the group; he almost killed him, saw red, got so close to using those Taekwondo skills he spent years practicing. The team was the only reason he didn't rip someone's head off. Bangchan's glare would have been enough, but yours, his, and the whole group were enough for the man's face to go red and curl into himself, definitely regretting all of his life choices.

Dad!Felix who's the type of father who wants to protect his little angels from the world, is literally willing to glue pillows to all areas of the house so that they will never get hurt. You stare at him blankly, wondering if he's serious.

He is.

Dad!Felix who gets genuinely disappointed that you obviously oppose, so instead he baby-proofs the ever-loving shit out of the house, sharp objects gone, all corners covered, outlets concealed.

Dad!Felix who if anyone were to talk about his family online, would not be silent, would go into a fit of rage, aggressively typing on his phone, getting ready to post a long paragraph on his story that you or his team would have to keep him from sending because, you know, his job or whatever, speaking of job…

Dad!Felix who knows he has to leave for work eventually, and his 6-month hiatus from the group was not permanent. A lot of tears are shed as he holds you and your beautiful babies, knowing he isn’t going to be able to see them for a whole 3 months while they start their tour. He can't bear thinking that he might miss such pivotal moments as the first rollover, the first steps, the first word. He can see his little munchkins' lives flashing right before his eyes as he looks at the packed suitcase in the corner. “Felix, we are going to be fine, I promise." “Are you sure?? I can leave the group; I would leave them for you; I promise I would; you just say the word and I'm gone; we can buy a house in the suburbs-” You giggle, overwhelmed with admiration for his dedication to your family, “Don't be silly, Lix. I know you love your job and your team, plus we wouldn't be able to afford a house without you working." He sighs, knowing you are right. “Fine,” he mutters, holding you all close. “Just promise to call me every single day, okay?”

Dad!Felix who gets up early enough in the morning to feed the kids and get them dressed, trying to spend as much quality time with them as possible before he has to leave. 

Mom!Reader who, being the mom you are, still freaks out when you wake up, scared Felix is going to miss his plane. While you're putting your son's shoes on, you run into the room and say, “Come on, lix-” You stop dead in your tracks, seeing him beaming while brushing your little girl's hair, humming a sweet melody as the paddle goes smoothly through her locks. She looks up at him like he hung the moon, and for her, he would. Your bad mood dissipates as you remember why you got into any of this in the first place. Everything is going to be fine. You're going to be fine. Felix looks up, feeling your presence. He smiles wider. "Do you like it, momma?" He asks, clearly proud of his work. She smiles toothless and full of glee. You take her in your arms, spinning her around. "Well, of course, I like it. Did Daddy do this for you, baby?" She spits out gobbly gook, which you nod your head at, acting like she just recited pie.

Dad!Felix who brushes the little girl's hair every day before work without fail, even looks up tutorials on YouTube about different strategic hairstyles. He's terrible at them. Doesn't stop your heart from melting into a puddle on the floor while he's attempting French braids, though.

Dad!Felix who proposes to you a few years later, so he can have your two beautiful babies standing beside him as he proposes: his little princess in a cute white dress holding a bouquet of picked flowers, and your little prince in an adorable little tux holding a heart of chocolates. Everything is just so perfect, you'd be a certified idiot not to say yes (not that you were ever considering it).

Husband!Felix who when you finally get married, agrees that your baby boy is going to be the one who walks you down the aisle with your little girl being his best wo'man', right beside Hyunjin and all his other members, of course.

Extra for the ones who endured my rambling 

Mom!Reader+Hans girlfriend who had a baby boy the same day that you had your little girl. When you found out the good news, you immediately started planning for the wedding, knowing this couldn't be anything other than fate, already thinking about ship names and wedding dresses.

Dad!Felix+Han who glare at the two, Felix not liking the idea of his perfect princess being anywhere near the male species, Han not liking the idea of his girlfriend cuddling with someone that isn't him. But eventually, Felix eases on his glare, his heart melting as you giggle about the color of the bouquet.

Last but not least

Husband!Felix who will always love the way his family looks at him, like he hung the moon because, for them, he would.

©CookieCreates (posted: June, 19th 2024) All rights reserved. Do not translate, copy, or claim my works as yours! I only post on this platform so if any of my works are elsewhere, report and notify me immediately.

~ I'm probably going to redo this one day so if you have anything you would like to add/change please let me know :))

COOKIE OUT

[thebearer]

hi e! back again with more carmy shit because i love the way you did my little blurb justice 🥰. i literally just envisioned sydney minding her own business and just recklessly placing carmy in the hot seat cause she knew his ass was gon get it 😂. i’m all in for more dom!carmy so i’d love to keep the idea going that his s/o works for/with/alongside him at the bear with a touch of her giving him her two cents? a little bit of sass to just remind who he’s dealing with 😩. maybe this time around he slipped up on something major (a birthday, anniversary, or something that overall was important to the reader and he put it off because in his mind the bear comes first). she’s been slowly driving him crazy with that silent treatment she’s been doing for the last few days and her less than a few syllabled words when he doesn’t remind her how irked he made her 😂; she’s not mad anymore just disappointed. and anyway basically in a prep for preordered to go’s on lunch rush he’s reading back orders to her and she completely writes him off. i can see him being like exactly how he when he’s not getting when he needs from his staff during a frenzy and flipping tf out. like you know when he repeats himself a second time as if you didn’t hear him the first he means it 😂. tysm in advance! please feel free to do whatever you’d like. i’m writing this at 6 in the morning so many ideas are coming into the fold. i hope you have a great day - 🥣.

ok i did sorta a different-ish take. same idea but i don't write the reader as a chef bc quite honestly i can't relate lmao i'm a horrendous cook lol. but silent treatment yes!! reader works at the bear but not a chef.

"Does anyone know where the extra napkins are? Mindy needs to be settin' tables." Carmen huffed, slamming the empty crate back in the back stock.

"That would be your missus' domain." Richie snickers, elbowing Fak lightly. "Guess you better go ask her, Cousin."

"Yeah? Fuck off. Thought it was your fuckin' job." Carmen grumbled, running a hand through his hair.

"Me? Fuck no, Cousin. You know who's job it is, c'mon." Richie grinned. "It's your wife, Carm. What? Scared to talk to your wife?"

Carmen sneered, huffing in annoyance, but the truth was... yes, he was a little scared. Especially with how furious you were at him. Carmen was a chronic over worker, barely taking time for himself. It was a constant fight between the two of you, one he'd gotten better at, but still struggled finding that balance. Which normally, you'd be more forgiving about.

Except it was your anniversary.

Carmen left you waiting at home, dressed up with a new lingerie set that he painfully didn't get to enjoy. By the time he got off, taking his time to clean the kitchen, prep for tomorrow's crowd, he looked at his phone and saw your texts and calls, his heart dropping.

You'd been giving him the cold shoulder since then, furious and hurt- or so he assumed, you wouldn't say anything.

Richie found the entire thing hilarious when Carmen told him. "You forgot your fuckin' anniversary? You jagoff, holy shit."

Carmen found it less than amusing. The tension in the restaurant was thick because of the two of you. Everyone teetering around you, but especially Carmen, he was more on edge now.

Pushing the door open to the office, Carmen ducked his head in, seeing you at his desk- your desk, technically, you used it more. "Hey, honey," Carmen's voice was soft, a sweet hum that had your spine straightening. He flinched lightly, stepping towards you. "D'you know where the extra napkins are?"

You didn't reply, simply typing on your laptop, editing a video for the social media page about the upcoming summer specials.

Carmen blinked, barking out your name in a much harsher than he meant to, but it seemed to work. Kinda. Your head whipped around, eyes in a burning glare when they met his, but your lips were still pressed together.

Carmen through his hands out in exasperation. "Are you bein' fuckin' serious with me?"

Richie made his way towards the table where Tina was doing prep, craning his neck to watch. Your lips twisted, glaring harshly at Carmen. Carmen huffed, a hand running over his forehead. "What do you want from me, huh? What? You're just never gonna speak to me again? I forgot, ok? I didn't mean to, I just fuckin' forgot! I was at work!"

You glared at him, feeling Richie's amused gaze from over Carmen's shoulder, the rest of the staff pretending to be busy to hear. "Shut the door." You snapped.

Carmen flinched, shocked. "What-"

"Shut the fuckin' door, now." You snapped, slamming your laptop, turning to face him. Carmen pressed the door shut, ignoring Richie's whines of "c'mon, Cousin, it was just gettin' good!".

The two of you stared, neither being the first to talk, not wanting to break. You huffed, rolling your eyes in annoyance. "You wanted to talk, talk, Carmen. I've got shit to do."

"Hey," Carmen's eyes flashed at you, his tone hard with an edge of warning. "You better watch your-"

"-No, you better watch your mouth with me. Watch what you say to me, Berzatto." You snapped, pointing a finger at him. "This isn't a fuckin' game, alright? I'm mad at you. Actually fuckin' mad at you."

Carmen's stomach turned, swallowing the guilt rising with the bile in his throat. "I... I'm sorry-"

"-Sorry isn't going to work this time, Carmen. It's always sorry. Always I didn't fuckin' mean to, I got busy." You snapped, arms wrapping over your torso. "You always do this, but our anniversary? You forgot our anniversary?"

"No, I didn't forget." Carmen ran a hand down his face. "I got you flowers and-and the bracelet-"

"-And that was very nice, Carmen, but you weren't there." You snapped, the finality in his tone making his rebuttal dissolve in his mouth. The hurt in your eyes, rounding and pitiful, soft and pleading with him. You were angry, but you were hurt, too.

His shoulders deflated, breath leaving his lungs. "You're right," Carmen nodded slowly. "No, you're-you're right, and-and-and I'm... Fuck, I'm so sorry, baby." Carmen said sincerely, eyes shining with sincerity. "I... I got caught up and I-I shouldn't have even been working that day, I just..."

"I know." You muttered, looking down at the desk, a framed picture of the two of you in Copenhagen at your wedding ceremony. Carmen in his suit, you in your dress, happy and smiling with the breathtaking scenery behind you.

Carmen could feel the guilt growing in his chest, palms sweating and heart racing, the panic to fix it- to do something. "How much longer do you have?" Carmen asked, nodding towards your laptop.

"Just a few more things to edit." You looked at your paused work. "Why?"

"Let me... Let me make it right." Carmen sighed, shaking hands fumbling towards his apron.

"Carmen, you can't leave-"

"-Yeah, yeah, I can." Carmen nodded, pulling the door out and calling for Sydney. "Can you cover tonight, Chef?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah, I can." Sydney nodded.

"I got it too, Cousin-" Carmen shut the door before he could hear Richie's full comment, sure something smart ass would be included.

"Let's go out." Carmen looked at you. "A make up. Please?"

You folded your arms, pouting lightly. "'m not dressed for going out."

"What're you talkin' about? You look beautiful, c'mon." Carmen shook his head lightly at you, shoving his clothes into his bag, pulling out his spare.

You tried not to drool at the sight of his chest. You'd missed him, you really had. It was a shame the lingerie went to waste.

Carmen pulled you out of the restaurant, hand on your waist, holding you close to his side. It wasn't the fancy reservations you'd planned, no Michelin star restaurants with expensive wine. No, instead, he took you to some a rooftop restaurant, one with the vibey aesthetic you always cooed at on Instagram. Sitting and sharing pretzels and greasy food, snuggled into Carmen's side while he ordered dessert. Giggling when he fed you the brownie sundae, tilting your head back with his fingers cradling your jaw lightly. It was simple, romantic, and fun. Made your heart swell, clinging to him the whole way home.

And when you got home? Carmen was in heaven. Letting you show him what he missed a few days earlier.

[inkyycapp]

how i think characters would react

if you got (very) hurt: adventure time edition.

tw/cw : angst, fluff, blood, violence, gore?, terrible story building, implied romance, fionna and cake spoilers, a lot of cringe, self-indulgence, character hcs, etc...

[a/n: this is very sloppy and rush as i made this between classes so it's half edited half not and not at all proof read. forgive me. thank you for the love on my last posts!! i wasn't expecting my adventure time hcs to get the attention it did, thank you so much!! i have finished fionna and cake(twice) so, my hcs might slightly shift a bit. at the moment. thinking of cross posting on ao3. reader is usually always gender neutral in all my posts unless stated otherwise. that's all! i'm open to requests and my dms/pms are open. thank you! new additions as well!! this is all i have, i'm sorry. a few more are in the drafts. please tell me if i missed anything tag and cw/tw wise! thank you.]

[holy shit, fionna and cake's finn. honka honka. i don't deserve a platform.]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

|| it all happened so fast. you could barely recall what happened. one moment you're up-right, after the next you're trying to pick yourself off the ground. your breathing grew more labored at every attempt, and the smell of iron hung heavy in the air. the warm liquid on your hands was a stark contrast to cold that began to wrack your body. it wasn't long 'til your vision faded to black, leaving only questions behind into your last fleeting thoughts. ||

finn.

(the favorite. my favorite.)

-the both of you were exploring an old cave. deep, dark, and damp. it was said to hold treasure far back into the cave, and out of curiosity you both went to explore. what you didn't know was that many people sought out that treasure. many dangerous people.

-going deeper into the cave, you and finn found the treasure, though nothing cool to take back except for a few cool rings. turning on your way out, with your back to the entrance, a sharp pain was felt through your body. looking down you saw the bloodied blade of a sword. you had no time to react as you were shoved off the blade and onto the ground. from there, it was a blur.

-finn would (violently) remove anyone involved. while brutal, he makes sure to end it quick--he doesn't have time for them when you're bleeding out on the ground.

-finn never stopped talking to you, even if you're asleep. it's always optimistic-- he talks about; new things he's found, friends he talked to recently, any new news, old and new stories, the next date he'll take you on, etc... he rambled hours on end in a one-sided conversation. it's how he copes.

-finn's trying to be uplifting. but, by himself he's a mess. he rarely stays at the treehouse because he's too restless. he feels weak, and unable to do anything. when finn's not at your side he's fighting through his feelings. finn had learned it wasn't healthy to use violence as his only outlet, but it makes him feel something that isn't the heavy stone in his chest when he sees you.

-he's a patient man, he knows you'll wake up soon. he just had to be patient. but after around a few days he doesn't want to be "patient" anymore. he wants you to wake up now. finn knows he can't make that happen, but it was a selfish want to keep himself going.

-when you did wake up, he was all over you. there wasn't a time when he wasn't with you, or at least in the same vicinity as you.

-good luck trying to pry yourself away from his arms. this man has fought monsters thrice his size for fun. even your prettiest please wasn't going to work, not this time. you almost died. you could've died and he couldn't do anything about it. those memories never left his brain basket, even when your recovery was going smoothly.

-very anxious about letting you tag along, but knows you'll probably go off on your own if he refuses to take you along. he feels it's safer to allow you to come along, rather than go off on your own. with him, he knows that at least this time he could do better. he won't ever have a repeat of last time.

-finn keeps you close during each adventure, even losing sleep watching the surroundings to be sure no one sneaks up on you. he will refuse to sleep, so you'd have to force him. please give this man all the reassurance, he really needs it. it won't stop his anxiety, or his fear of it happening again, but it puts him at ease. even if it's just a little bit, it helps, nonetheless.

-

fern.

-the green knight has plenty of enemies. of course, fern could protect himself, and you could do the same. however, even if you could protect yourself, there wasn't any chance to protect yourself getting jumped, and a dirty stab to the back. the most dishonorable way to lose to a foe. the amount of ever growing disrespect.

-he loses his shit. sure, he gets mad quickly, but if you were awake to see him like this: holy shit. he grows plentiful thorns, and poison flowers all over himself subconsciously. (he's actually very pretty like this.)

-he's livid, and you're not conscious to do anything about it. and that's just it, you're unconscious, bleeding out on the ground. fern couldn't quite process it just yet. normally you'd stop him from going too far, but you can't right now. that's supposed to never happen. he's confused and angry, and you're not waking up. you're not moving. so, he cuts down anyone involved in a quick motion. he doesn't care how brutal, as long as it's quick. fern wastes no time in picking you up (after managing the thorns and flowers) and taking you to doctor princess.

-fern can't stand seeing you like this. laying weakly on that hospital bed.

-if you think finn's not good at coping, fern is much worse. he doesn't even cope. he's just...there.

-he's so confused, and just shuts down a bit. like he's still there, he's still the green knight-- fern. but, he's just distant. not quite himself-- off.

-fern is unable to wrap his head around what happened to you, but he goes about his 'normal' life. he tries to just go about his casual life without you there, and he's just confused. it doesn't take long before he grows upset, allowing the rage to boil.

-'they used to do that.' 'this was their favorite color.' 'they were supposed to fix that.' 'they like bird houses.' everything reminds him of you. it's impossible to go a single day without a reminder that you're still unconscious.

-i think it gets more apparent when he's out and about as the green knight. he's more violent. but, he doesn't mean to be. it just...happens.

-he's likely not there when you first wake, but when he gets there fern's complaining about everything under his breath. but when he sees you up, that bed isn't just for you anymore.

-he's holding you close, with a firm hold and refusing to let go. he's scolding you for not waking up sooner, and complaining about how life without you was too different. he tried to be casual, but he missed you a bit too much.

-there is also no prying fern off of you-- a common thing between all of them. once you're up, there is no separating you both for a few hours at the least.

-fern is also hesitant about letting you rejoin him on the adventures, but as long as you stay close, and keep weapon on you at all times, he'll agree. but, all of your wounds-- every. single. one.-- had to be medically evaluated as ok, and no threat to your health before anything.

-

farmworld!finn.

(post crown -- pre fionna and cake.)

-he's in shock, not moving for a few moments. he knew why he'd be hated, or hunted down, killed even, but why you? why did they have to drag you into this?

-someone in the many gangs around the parts found you somewhere in the clearing waiting for finn. you both had previously planned a picnic out in a nice clearing in the woods. he was running late. but, once he found you bleeding out and onto grass, he's thrown way off guard.

-finn is quickly trying to pick you off the grass, trying to get you out of there, and dragging you back to his cabin. finn manages to tend to each of your wounds. though, the moment he's done, and you're in a stable condition-- he's leaving the cabin for a few hours.

-he finds whoever did this to you, and doing what he couldn't earlier. finn is driving in the same injuries they gave to you over and over again. he doesn't let up until he's in tears. finn knows that this changes nothing. he knows this won't make him feel better, but he needed to do something. anything. even if it's for his own sadistic pleasure to see the regret on their faces-- to see them like this. pathetically clawing at the dirt in an attempt to ground themselves through the pain-- trying to crawl away from his bloodied hands.

-(robot hand included.)

-finn leaves them with their lives(barely), and a warning before disappearing into the woods.

-he is struggling to cope. finn hold your hand in his abnormally cold one running his thumb over your knuckles. he's constantly checking in on you, and rarely leaving your side. sleeping, and eating could wait. after all that's happened with the crown, you're all he has left. he can't lose you too.

-he stays by your side as much as he can. finn knows he should probably take his mind off of...your condition and stay productive but it's difficult. the only reason the cabin is warm is because if it got too cold you'd start to shake. he makes food only because if you wake up you might be hungry.

-he doesn't know what to do for the most part, just waiting and hoping that you'll be better in no time. a fear lingers deep inside him that you'll worsen the moment he closes his eyes. so, finn stays up. there are times when he has passed out around the house, and when he wakes up he's absolutely terrified; running to check on you, checking to make sure your wounds haven't reopened, making sure you're alive.

-a deep seeded fear the you'll wilt away in his arms. it keeps him up at night-- it eats at him day by day.

-you're finally awake, but even then the fear doesn't fade. he's at you're every call so much that it begins to worry you.

-you'll have to force him, and i mean force him to sleep. you're ok, he's ok-- everything is ok. he can finally rest.

-he's just happy you're still there with him.

-

prismo.

-you? hurt? nope. not on his time watch. prismo has you out of the situation in seconds, without a scratch. he refuses to ever see you in any pain.

-though, hypothetically, if there's ever a time where you do get hurt, and your wounds cannot be fixed with his wish master magic, and he's "too late", he's not so well.

-you're on a comfy little bed in the wishing room, laying on top of him. your wounds are bandaged up, and cleaned, with your breathing finally stable.

-he never leaves you side once. (sensing a pattern in everyone.) it's either him, or a copy of him. when he's granting wishes to whoever manages to make it to his wishing room, he keeps you in the cube with a copy of himself to watch over you.

-tries to make small talk with your unconscious self...it doesn't go well. the owl visits more often only to lay it's eyes upon the slum prismo is in.

-the cosmic owl tries to ease the depression, though fails miserably. if jake is still alive; his visits, brings gifts, barber sessions, the whole mile for his other best bud. it does kinda help, even if it was just a bit-- but, he's greatful nonetheless.

-while he could be doing better, prismo is doing the best out of everyone to be honest(if jake is around). jake's visits have been more than helpful to this guy, and honestly without jake, he'd be worse than just a mess.

-when you wake up he doesn't believe it at first but he's ecstatic. there is never a time where he's not with you, talking your ear off on how horrible it was without you. and while prismo wants to contuine talking you to your grave, he can't deny hearing your voice after so long does wonders to him.

-bonus if jake's around and prismo's like "and i like...really miss her. y'know? like she's right there but she's not..." "no, dude, i get it..." "i'd kill just to hear her voice just once..." "...prismo..." "ah, shit now i'm hallucinating!!" "no prismo, behind you." "jake, don't play into my delusions!" "god dammit prismo." "YOU'RE AWAKE!? FINALLY."

scarab.

-this man is already insane. he already needs therapy. the anger issues on this psychotic man are insane.

-he loses all sense of morality(that he had left) but surprisingly holds off and tends to you first. by sending you back to headquarters for someone to tend to your injuries while scarab spends the next few hours tearing their molecules apart.

-honestly the worst out everyone. like, if he has a chance to off someone, they're going to die but in the most unconventional, painful, most gruesome way possible. he's....coping?

-at this point it's hard to tell with him, one moment he's rambling under his breath about annoyances, the next....he's offically lost it!!

-sadly he can't be at you're side at all times even if he really wants to, but with his job and all that. when given any chance he's right there next to you. he excuses this behavior as protecting you against anyone who might try anything, but in reality: it's just hard to stay away when you're like this. he wants to stay close even if he can't sometimes.

-scarab has difficulties with intimacy, so he finds it difficult to express his concern the "right" way. others see him as uneffected, and taking it too easy, but he is genuinely scared. he's scared that he loses the one person who can see him for what he is. an emotionally fucked up person who can't stand rule breakers.(joking).

-he finds holding your hand a way to ease the tension.

-when you wake up, he just sitting there, holding your hand.

-he's never letting you go anywhere without a weapon three times your size. of course he teaches you how to use it, but just because he wants you to protect yourself when he cannot. scarab views your injuries as him failing as a partner in more ways than one. he should've made sure you could protect yourself even when he couldn't.

-later on after your wounds have healed you're allowed with him on his missions. he denies being scared. reassure him anyways, he really needs it.

e/n: sorry prismo's and scarab's are short! first time writing them :')

[wei-ying-kexing-apologist]

Our Youth: The Responsibility of Adaptation

I regret to inform you all that I dropped Our Youth a few weeks back. Which is tragic because I was so enamored with it at the beginning that I literally went and searched up the manwha and devoured it all in one sitting.

Now, I can definitively say that I do think the first part of both the manwha and the show is the strongest. BUT I want to talk about the two changes I saw in the first half that I do think negatively impacted how the College Years landed. (Forgive me if I get some of the details slight off I'm too lazy to go back to the manwha and check).

For the sake of expediency, I am going to keep the names from the jbl even when talking about the manwha, but please know that Minase and Haruki have different names in the Korean graphic novel.

I. The Big Change that Had a Big Impact

First, I want to talk about the events that get Haruki suspended/expelled from school.

The Show: The bullies Haruki hangs around in school rob a store, Haruki confronts them, Haruki gets in trouble with the school, Haruki...takes the blame for some unknown reason?

The Manwha: The bullies Haruki hangs around bullies a student so severely over the course of the school year that the student attempts suicide. Haruki has never directly partaken in the bullying (keeping with the categories Minase breaks people down in to) but he is a bystander. And when he hears about this student's suicide attempt he realizes that he really should not just be letting the bullies get away with shit like that. He confronts the bully, calls him out on it, and in front of the entire class and as the teacher walks in that fucking piece of shit kid cries and wails and cowers in fear of Haruki making it look like Haruki is not only threatening him but is also the main perpetrator of the bullying that pushed a child to attempt suicide.

In my opinion, there is a huge difference in the stakes and the consequences here, and I think the way the show played it out not only lowers the stakes but detracts from the messaging around the perception of kids like Haruki. The bully in the manwha weaponized the fact that all the teachers see Haruki as a violent delinquent because he...checks notes: choked a teacher who was sexually harassing a student and threatened him to prevent it from happening again and the fact that Haruki is technically culpable because he watched it happen and never stepped in, in order to take the heat off himself and avoid getting in trouble.

In the show Haruki just immediately backtracks on his fight with the bully at the pool hall and takes the fall, suffering the consequences for something he very much didn't do. Haruki's suspension does not induce the kind of rage it would have if they had gone with the manwha version, and Haruki's pulling back from Minase also would make far more sense in the context of Haruki's reaction to finding out about the student's attempt and the part he played in it.

II. The Small Change that Had a Big Impact

Now, I admit I am often guilty of finding a lot of small moments in media to often be what sticks with me, and I can get annoyed when I see an adaptation that might strip away my favorite little moments, or favorite little lines (RIP "call me child one more goddamn time" from Critical Role, you will always be famous to me)

But in this case I do feel it is fair of me to say that making this specific tweak to the story should have caused a hell of a lot of edits to the second half of the story in order to make it compelling. What would that be?

The Show: Minase's father makes a queer indie film. Minase and Haruki attend the film together, there is a happy ending, and Minase finds a label that speaks to his feelings for Haruki.

The Manwha: Minase's father makes a queer indie film. Miase and Haruki attend the film together, there is a sad ending and Minase does not find a label that speaks to his feelings for Haruki. In college, Minase learns that his tutor is gay and has a partner and is happy with his life and this is where he starts to parse through his feelings for Haruki and adopt a label/definition of his queerness.

Small tweak, huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge difference in vibe and in justification for what comes next. In the manwha Haruki and Minase do not see each other for six years because of a phone mishap where one of them had their phone turned off for months in order to focus on studying, and the other got a new phone number or something thus they did not really see or hear from each other. They have an accidental run in in college and they restart their relationship but it still takes them some time.

I dropped the show before I got to the college years so I do not know what if anything happened there, but I do think that when you actually did nothing wrong to warrant getting suspended from school, you know where each other's houses are, you know what your feelings actually are, and your external experiences with queerness are generally happy it is extremely difficult to make being separated for six years feel compelling or believable.

I think it is a little bit more believable when you have a character who is actually culpable in the bullying that led to a suicide attempt, your supposed "school friends" who you kinda have always hated tries to make himself the victim, you don't have a label/definition to put your feelings to, and your only external experiences with queerness are sad and tragic that you might do what Haruki did and assume that Minase also started seeing you negatively and no longer cared for you.

Anyway, I don't think I have a solid conclusion to this post beyond I think if the writers were interested in lightening the mood around the school situation and giving the boys a happy queer ending in high school so they could feel comfortable with their feelings, that's totally fine, but then I think they needed to make some tweaks to the back half to justify those decisions a bit better, at least based off of what I have seen and heard about the way the back half played out.

[rickktish]

Some unsolicited Harry Potter Thoughts and Headcanons

Ron Weasley is one of my favorite characters. Ron Weasley should have died from the poison in Slughorn's office when he was 16 so that y'all would treat him with the respect he deserves instead of shitting on him and replacing him with Draco in Leather Pants.

The entire reason Dumbledore is so fucked up actually has nothing to do with his sordid past; it comes from the (Doylist) fact that he was a plot device in a children's book until the main characters (and thus the audience) got old enough that it needed to become a YA series, and then had to find ways to justify is plot device-ness after being magically transformed into a character. The justification did not succeed.

Harry and Ginny were fine as a ship. Not spectacular, but fine. But if the series had come out 10-20 years later than it did I would be frothing at the mouth that Harry ended up with Ron's sister instead of Ron.

Draco Malfoy was a victim of circumstance in that he was raised by racists to be a racist. Draco Malfoy did not change his mind about his racism by the end of the series, but he did change his mind about the cult leader his parents had raised him to worship, and he deserves credit for that. Do not give him credit for what we do not have evidence of him doing, namely becoming not racist. No one in his family did that. Don't pretend that they did just to make them look shinier.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were all bad friends at different points in the series, but as far as I can recall only Harry and Hermione exhibited actively toxic behavior. Ron had his disagreement with Hermione in book 3 and with Harry in book 4, but he had valid points in PoA (owner of a pet is responsible for that pet's actions) and was operating under false assumptions which he clearly communicated in GoF ("I thought you might've told me if it was the Cloak... because it wouldn't covered both of us, wouldn't it? But you found another way, did you?") before getting his head out of his ass ("Harry," he said, very seriously, "whoever put your name in that goblet -- I -- I reckon they're trying to do you in!") Followed by a sincere apology, interrupted though it was ("Ron opened his mouth uncertainly. Harry knew Ron was about to apologize and suddenly found he didn't need to hear it. "It's okay," he said, before Ron could get the words out. "Forget it." |"No," said Ron, "I shouldn't've--"| "Forget it," Harry said. Ron grinned nervously at him, and Harry grinned back.) Ron also apologized after leaving in DH. If anyone can remember a single instance of either Harry or Hermione apologizing to Ron for something they did that was wrong or for direct harm rather than accidental harm they've done, would you please add it to this post? I'm hoping it's just been too long since I did an in-depth read of the series and I've forgotten something, because I genuinely can't remember a time and I haven't been successful in locating one by my cursory searches through my ebook editions. I would genuinely like to be wrong about this, please and thank you.

I believe with my whole soul that the reason Dumbledore didn't get Sirius out of prison was because he was having Grindelwald flashbacks. Person I trusted with my whole soul turned out to be pro-enslavement/genocide? Person my students trusted with their magically concealed location appears to have turned out to be pro-Voldemort (and everything he uses to justify his pursuit of power)? He literally did not believe any doubts he might have held about Sirius' guilt, because he hasn't trusted his own judgement since he was 18 and his little sister died. also he 1) canonically did not know that Sirius wasn't the secret keeper and 2) probably did not know that Sirius never had a trial, so there's also that.

Harry and Ron 100% should have gone to the Yule Ball together. I would forgive their not ending up together so long as they had gone and had a fantastic time. Unfortunately, GoF was written in 2000, and we missed out for it.

Hermione would be an emotionally (and potentially physically) abusive spouse to Ron, not because I feel any need to put her down or bash her in any way, but because she wasn't willing to tell him that she was into him and instead conjured birds to attack him when she caught him kissing another girl. I think with time, effort, and a decent dose of humility, they could work it out, but at some point their kids are going to be chatting with friends and reveal the most casually fucked up shit about their parents' relationship to someone who's going to look utterly horrified and poor Rose and Hugo will have no idea why because to them it will be completely normal.

Childhood is thinking Dumbledore is the good guy and Snape is the bad guy. Angsty teenhood is thinking Snape is the good guy and Dumbledore "raised Harry like a pig for slaughter." Maturity is realizing that Snape did good things for really fucked up reasons like "I'm obsessed with the woman whose husband and child I would have seen killed so I could have another chance to get in her pants but unfortunately she's dead so I guess I have to keep her child who I hate alive" while also actively causing (directed) severe harm to the children under his care, and that Dumbledore did fucked up things for some good reasons like "I can't let this person who tortured animals as a child and committed murder in his teens destroy the world" and for some bad reasons like "I would literally die right now but unfortunately I have shit to do" (I honestly think everyone somehow missed the fact that Dumbledore was suicidal?? in spite of the fact that he committed assisted suicide?? I'm not quite sure how, but I suspect it has something to do with the woobification of Snape, so. there's that) while also causing (mostly indirect) moderate to severe harm to all who were in his care including, but not limited to, the government officials who asked him for advice, the staff and children at the school he ran, and his own family. The essential difference comes because Snape acted as he did toward others because he hated the world and everything in it, especially children, whereas Dumbledore acted as he did toward others because he couldn't make up his mind whether or not the ends justified the means and his life was entirely defined by the practice of both intentional and unintentional self-sabotage.

This absolutely might be giving Rowling too much credit, but I grew up with fairy tales of goblins who stole and guarded gold and didn't learn that goblins were a racist caricature based in antisemitism until I was in my late teens or early twenties by reading a post about how writing goblins as bankers meant that Rowling is antisemitic. I also genuinely didn't believe it at first, because I grew up in a culture that reveres Judaism and the Jewish people as God's chosen and the source for the foundation of mankind's relationship with God, and I had to seriously work to believe that the slightly goofy, slightly gross fairy tale creature I was familiar with could have such a disgusting connotation. I strongly suspect that Rowling herself had no idea until she started being accused of racism, at which point she pulled her classic schtick and doubled down, radicalizing rather than being open to being told she might be wrong. Sometimes you grow up with something being so normal and part of the regular zeitgeist that it never occurs to you that it could have its origins in racism. (I experienced this myself recently from a post about the origin of the popularity of private pools in the US, which I always thought were just a rich people status symbol. Even though I've known about the issue of pool discrimination since my mom, who attended a formerly black-only middle school in Alabama as a child, read me picture books about it when I was in elementary school, I didn't put it together until I read the post.) The quality of your character is determined then by how you respond to the criticism rather than whether or not you knew before the accusations began. The end result is the same, but I feel like holding her responsible for knowledge we have no way of telling if she knew before she started being accused of having it is bad-faith criticism, and I'd much rather hold her accountable for wrongs I know she's committed rather than ones I can only speculate about.

Dudley Dursley deserved his redemption. He grew up with the rule "Don't be like Harry" and figured out by the end of the series that Harry was a person, which is better than either of his parents managed. I honestly think a good dose of the real world-- maybe university or something-- would give him the foundation he would need to separate himself from his parents' beliefs and become a halfway decent human being. I wish the best for Dudley Dursley.

Neville Longbottom deserved better. In every possible way.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Everyone Else Is No.2 {One-Shot}***

Lewis Hamilton x Attorney Friend Reader

Warning: Cursing, NSFW, Mature 18+ Content, Angst, PLENTY OF WORDS, DIALOGUE HEAVY

Words: 15.2k

Summary: Again, nah.

Note: Inspired by that old August Alsina song "Kissing on My Tattoos". So sorry for how long it is and for the long sentences toward the end, it couldn't be any other way. Forgive the weird spacing throughout, Tumblr has a 1,000 block limit per post, and guess who reached it before correcting the spacing.

Note II: Really interested in hearing what you guys think about this one. Let me know.

As always, thank you guys for reading! I appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this.

If you did enjoy this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

-Y/N-

"You're beautiful you know that right?"

You smiled and took a sip of your drink.

"Thanks."

The man sitting across from you, Darius, nodded and before he looked down to his plate you caught his eyes drop to your cleavage. Of course, you thought. This was your 2nd date with him. The first went smoothly though you'd went with little to no expectations for it to be so. Tonight, he said the right things, did the right things, and was the perfect gentleman.

He'd even chosen a great restaurant. The ambiance was perfect for a second date. So far you had only counted 2 things that were less than satisfactory, everything was on point. He was so on point that you wondered if he was acting and not being his genuine self.

You hated the dating scene. Everyone held their cards too close to their chest. No one was ever real about anything. Everyone liked to waste people's time all in the name of fun and sex. These days you only treated dating as a pastime and a way to relieve stress after long hours of working on briefs and reviewing case files.

"A woman with your track record in law. Wheeew. Was it hard?"

You shrugged then wiped the corner of your mouth, "It definitely wasn't easy. I still remember the sleepless nights, and times when I only had 1 meal a day. My parents still remember not seeing me for 3 months because of the bar and my first major case that came nearly right behind the other. They won't let me forget it."

"It looks like it paid off. You're on the partner track. Shit, you'd be the first woman under 35 to make that happen at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw," Darius said.

You bristled, but politely smiled and took another sip of your wine.

"I'm sorry I don’t mean to make this weird I'm just in awe of you."

You studied him for a few moments but found no lie. You could always tell a lie. No matter what the case, no matter who it was. It was your secret weapon and it served you well as a lawyer.

"Thank you, but enough about me. What about you? Tell me about Darius Forrester."

He smiled, licked his lips then looked you directly in the eye.

"I'm pretty much a what you see you get kind of guy. I've been at Berry & Clark for the last 6 years as a criminal attorney. The work is challenging but I do alright for myself.

You nodded. He did. From what you heard his win ratio was nearly 92% and he took upstanding cases. He was a good attorney. Normally you wouldn’t shit where you ate because mess was not your style. You did not want to walk into a courtroom or boardroom and see the opposing counsel was an ex. That one thing gave you nightmares.

So dating lawyers was out of the question. You dipped in every other career field, playing it safe. The further they were from a law career the better. However, after a conversation with your other lawyer girlfriends about limiting oneself in the already limited dating pool, something clicked, and you decided to try it once but only if they weren't in your firm. Darius was your first attempt.

As he continued to tell you facts about himself you listened, but he didn't have your full attention. There was another person who held your attention, a person who though was usually out of sight was never really out of mind.

You heard your phone sound from your clutch resting on the table and both your eyes shot to it. Darius spoke before you moved.

"Go ahead please."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm an attorney as well, Y/N I know you come attached to it."

You smiled, held up your finger to him silently promising it would be quick, then took your phone in hand. You expected it to be Kemi, your paralegal, with files you were expecting, but it wasn't her name on your screen.

MSG Lewis: What're you doing tonight? Going over an endless to-do list of contracts and briefs?

You smirked.

MSG: Not even close.

MSG Lewis: Wow did someone finally decide to live a little and cut loose?

MSG: This sounds an awful lot like the pot calling the kettle black.

MSG Lewis: Plead the 5th.

MSG: The Lewis Hamilton out maneuvered. Say it ain't so.

MSG: I'm close to your place. Just got back in town. Can you be ready in 10?

Your eyes flitted to Darius across from you who was taking the time to check his messages as well. You looked over him slowly, noting again how great he looked in his suit and how you liked the effort he had put in the last 2 dates down to the flowers he brought you and the activities you'd done. Things could progress if you chose to allow them to.

MSG Lewis: Is that a no?

MSG: I'm not home.

MSG Lewis: Okay. Where you at, the office? I can come pick you up.

MSG: I'm not at the office. I'm actually on a date.

You waited a few seconds, but he didn’t reply. Why didn't he reply?

"Everything ok?"

Caught off guard, you looked back up to Darius whose eyes were already on you. His brows were knitted with concern.

"Uh--yeah. I uh--I think so."

"A case?"

You thought about it and technically he was right. You were Lewis' entertainment lawyer. You were his personal attorney who reviewed the contracts after the company attorney said they had. You gave it to him between the eyes, never sugarcoating, and told him what was made with his best interest and what was made to capitalize off of him. However, when your services weren’t needed you were friends. Had been for practically a decade now.

Sometimes you couldn’t believe you’d known each other that long. You’d known him since he was just another F1 driver rather than the greatest. He knew you when you were going through school always on an empty tank all in the hopes of rising above the tax bracket you were born into. A decade later and he was dominating F1 and you’d more than risen yourself several levels past the tax bracket you’d been born into.

You were on the partner track at one of the largest firms in Europe. You brought in more revenue than most of the attorneys at the firm thanks to your high-class clientele. You'd both worked your asses off to get to this level and enjoyed the spoils of your labor often. You clubbed together, went to dinner, and sometimes did the vacation vibe together. You enjoyed one another’s company.  

"A client."

"Oh. Everything cool or---," Darius said.

Another message came in just then. "Everything is cool."

Darius smiled. "Good. I'll be right back, men’s room."

"Yeah."

Darius stood then walked off leaving you with the perfect opportunity to check your phone.

MSG Lewis: Is that right?

MSG: Yeah. 2nd date. Well technically 3rd if you can have 2 dates in one day.

MSG Lewis: Cool. Is it going well?

MSG: Yeah. He's made it this far.

MSG Lewis: Cool.

MSG: When he drops me home Ill text you. Come get me then.

Several moments passed before he replied. Again, you wondered why.

MSG Lewis: Cool.

The remainder of dinner you were distracted. Darius played all his cards right, even scoring himself the green light on a little hand-holding action. You had to admit he was smooth. When he pulled up to your condo building he walked you to your door then went in for a kiss. You hadn’t expected it, but rather than pull away, you allowed it to play out. It wasn’t a bad kiss. He hadn’t been too overzealous, only slipped you a little tongue, and had kept his hands respectful. All in all, for a first kiss it was a solid 8.

With a promise to call to set date number 4 sometime next week, you went inside and allowed yourself to come down. The dating scene was not something you enjoyed often. You always felt like you were performing, like men wanted a certain kind of woman, the perfect woman who they could prance around on their arm to make other men envious and that took its toll.

You never felt you had to perform with Lewis. Never felt like he wanted the perfect you. He made fun of you whenever you were perfectly put together for work meetings and said many times he liked you out of the makeup and heels. After another sigh, you took your phone out and texted him.

~~~~~~

-Lewis-

The ceiling looked like every other ceiling he’d ever seen but that didn’t stop him from focusing most of his attention on it like it was the most interesting piece of construction ever. His eyes should have been focused elsewhere but they weren’t. A loud 'slurp' echoed in the mostly quiet room reminding him again that he wasn’t alone.

"Mm. Why are you so distracted tonight, bae?"

Julissa's voice was as smooth as honey and as seductive as ever. He lowered his eyes to where she was kneeling between his legs and took her in. Her lips and chin were wet as she gave him her bedroom eyes. This was not the first time between them. Usually, it would work but not tonight. Tonight he was struggling to even keep his head in the room.

He watched her tip her tongue out and lick from the base of his dick to the glistening tip. Once there she swirled her tongue around him then sucked his head into her mouth. He’d have to be dead for it not to feel nice but that’s all it was--nice.

He sighed then brought his attention back to the ceiling. "Work."

"Aw babe, when you’re with me work should be the last thing on your mind," Julissa said before lowering her mouth down his shaft. When he felt her tonsils he groaned. His body wanted to like this wanted to give her the reaction she was working so hard for, but something was holding him back. Julissa's mouth bobbed up and down his cock sucking and slurping to her heart’s content trying to get him off, but he knew she had her work cut out for her.

He thought back to your text from 2 hours ago. You were on a date. Well shit, he hadn’t seen that coming. That was the last thing he had expected you to be doing tonight. It wasn’t because you weren’t desirable, or he thought no man would want you. For fuck's sake, you were beyond desirable, you were gorgeous and so damn intelligent. He couldn’t figure out which of those made you more beautiful, your looks or your brains. You also worked hard to be where you were, and you deserved all the praise and attention you got wherever you went.

However, sometimes he wished you got a little less male attention--x that, a lot less male attention. He sighed again. This had been going on for 10 years now. Your friendship had only strengthened but along with a strengthening friendship came a lot of other stuff. Stuff like him taking notice of the fullness of your hips or being tempted to peek when you’d been changing in the backseat of his car, or being painfully aware of how your breasts felt against his chest when you hugged.

That coupled with things he had picked up from you, made the unspoken and ignored things that much more—confusing. There were times when the way you stared at him when you thought he wasn’t looking spoke volumes or the way your hand always lingered on him for a few seconds longer than necessary but not long enough for it to be inappropriate, or the time you'd fallen asleep together on the couch and he'd woken to you wrapped around him using him as your personal body pillow and mumbling his name in your sleep.

Yeah, there was a lot of extra stuff, stuff neither of you ever addressed. The only ones who assessed it were his friends. Miles told him on several occasions that he should be careful before he or you fucked around, and someone ended up hurt. That stuck with him, but not in the way Miles had probably meant it. Rather than taking it the way Miles meant, he used it as a means to keep himself in check, a form of prevention from him crossing the line. He knew if he did, neither of you would be able to go back. It would be impossible and was one fuck up worth a decades-long friendship?

So friends were where you stayed until he added another facet--professional. Years passed, dates passed, flings, non-labeled encounters on both your parts passed and through it all your friendship remained, and nothing changed. Except today there was even more extra stuff.

The feel of Julissa’s lips wrapped around his balls sent his hips jerking upward as a curse left his lips. Julissa moaned and giggled.

“Daddy likes that?”

He knew how he would like it more. As quickly as he revved to that thought he steered away from it. That was when his phone sounded.

MSG Y/N: I’m home. Whatdaya you wanna do? Should I change?

His eye caught the time. 1am. Almost 3 hours from your last text and you were only now getting home. Clenching his jaw he took a deep breath. He had no right to be mad or annoyed right now. He knew where this was coming from. You’d been on a date, and you said it was going well. A date going well had a chance of making it upstairs. He closed his eyes squeezing them tightly. He hoped to God that you hadn’t just gotten it in.

MSG Y/N: Hello?

MSG: You don’t have to change. How about some treats and a view?

MSG Y/N: Okay. Still 10?

MSG: Make it 15.

Pulling himself up he reached down to stop Julissa. She looked confused.

“I gotta go J.”

Now she looked even more confused. He didn’t owe her an explanation, that’s not how this worked between them.

“With your dick out?”

He scoffed then fixed himself as he stood.

“Lewis this’s never happened before. Are--,” she began before he cut her off.

“All good, just—not in the mood I guess.”

She looked offended now. “I’m sorry J. We’ll talk.”

He walked to the door then left her apartment without a glance back. He didn’t feel any way about it because both of them knew what their relationship was and wasn’t. She’d agreed. Once he was in his car, he zipped through the London streets maneuvering the quickest route to your place. Thanks to the time it was an easy drive with minimal traffic. 15 minutes on the dot he swerved around to the front of your luxury condo building then sent you a text letting you know he was there.

A few minutes later, he peeped you from the corner of his eye. You walked off the elevator in a short and tight black dress, impossibly high strappy black heels, and a flowy robe-like jacket that danced behind you as you walked.

“Fuck.”

You were beautiful. Just then the thought that you’d gone on a date dressed like this rubbed him wrong. Some other man had seen this view, a view you gave willingly. Clenching his jaw, he looked through his windshield as he tried to push all those thoughts—all that other stuff to the side as he’d done countless times before. He looked back just in time to see you open the door of his car then climb in. His eyes dropped to your legs but seconds later he corrected that.

“Hi!”

Your smile was bright as if you really were as happy to see him as your voice indicated.

“Hey.”

You reached over and pressed your cheek to his for a bougie kiss. The only thing he could think was that you smelled like a treat all by yourself.

“How are you?”

“Good. You?”

“Good. Wow, what’s it been? 2 months?”

He shrugged as he shifted gears and took off. “Something like that.”

“Mercedes sure knows how to keep you busy,” you teased.

He tried to focus on the road but from his peripheral, he could see you crossing your legs displaying even more skin.

“What were you doing? You smell like fruits.”

He chastised himself because he hadn’t done a bit of cleaning up before he came. His only thought was you. Julissa’s fruity lip gloss still stained his dick that he couldn’t manage to get hard for her.

“Nowhere special. Just kickin’ it.”

You didn’t press further which said you knew just what he was doing. He clenched his jaw again, this time annoyed with himself. As he drove to the dessert place you told him about what was going on in your life while he shared some bits of his with you. Like always conversation flowed like a calm river. It was something he loved. It didn’t take long for him to pull up to the drive-thru of the vegan dessert shop. When it was his turn at the window he tipped his hat lower and left the ordering to you.

You ordered damn near everything on the menu. You didn’t care if it was cake, cupcake, ice cream, brownie, or whipped cream. You ordered at least 2 of everything. It took the staff a good 5 minutes to prepare it all and when he loaded them in the backseat it was completely filled. When he looked at you with an “are you serious right now” look, all you did was giggle. Fuck, he thought. There went all that extra stuff again.

“There is no way we can finish all this,” he said looking at the bags they’d moved to the front since parking at their destination.

“Speak for yourself. I always have room for sugar, sugar.”

He snorted then shook his head. “Mad whack.”

Your jaw dropped as you gaped at him, and you looked too fucking adorable. You sifted through the bags until you found the dessert you wanted—the vanilla bean cheesecake. Your eyes lit up as you gawked at the large slice that was topped with white chocolate shavings. “It's so pretty,” you gushed.

He watched you snap picture after picture of the treat before you took your first forkful. When you did, your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you let out a completely indulgent, hearty, and dick-hardening moan. The fuck, he thought as his dick spasmed to life. Quickly he moved one of the bags to his lap and looked out the window.

“This is so good,” you obliviously said still munching on cake.

He pulled out the vegan chocolate truffle cake and took a bite. It too was good.

“That looks good. Is it?”

“Try it,” he said holding out a forkful to your mouth.

You paused for a split second then cut off a piece of your cheesecake before you held your fork to his mouth.

“You try too.”

The image that came to mind was that of a new husband and wife feeding each other wedding cake and with it, his throat went dry. He knew if he tried to speak he’d sound like a pre-pubescent boy, so he wrapped his lips around your fork taking the piece of cake then fed you his. Your eyes lingered on one another for a few moments nut when you moaned again his dick spasmed again. with that he turned his head so fast that he was surprised he hadn’t snapped his own neck in the process.

“So good,” you repeated.

The two of you sat there commenting on the desserts you went through in record time. He didn’t indulge in sweets often but when he did he found it was usually with your sugar-addicted ass. You said there were 4 things in life you would never give up, sugar, your favorite perfume, your favorite underwear set, and sex. He believed you on all points. When there were only a few pieces of cake left the silence in the car stretched.

“So—a date huh.”

“A date.”

“I thought you gave up dating.”

You took a deep breath then slowly released it before turning your body at an angle facing him. The hem of your dress hiked a little higher and he forced himself to look away.

“I did. Then I got bored and he asked.”

“What does he do?”

You didn’t answer automatically, instead, you took another forkful or 2 of cake, then you spoke.

“He’s an attorney.”

“I thought you didn’t date attorneys.”

“I don’t but me and the girls were talking, and it clicked that by x-ing out a whole career field greatly decreased me finding someone who could stick around.”

He paused. Stick around? This was new.

“Stick around? Are you—are you looking for something—serious?”

You took a beat then shrugged. “I don’t know. I thought the other day, I have everything I have ever wanted. I am on this partner track, I make very high 6 figures, I have a great condo, my mental health is amazing, I have no debt, no baby daddies or drama, I—I’m kinda a catch but I go to sleep alone 98% of my nights. I come home to an empty place, I have no meaningful text exchanges, there is—nothing fulfilling in my life. I began to wonder if it was time to change all of that last bit.”

Silence stretched again as he thought over your words while studying you. This was the first time he’d heard you speak like this. Usually, you changed the subject or downplayed having any other thoughts than fun, sex, and work. Now hearing the vulnerability in your voice he knew you’d come to a point where all of this, intention-free dating, pastime sex, stress-busting flirting and all the meaningless interactions were unfulfilling and empty. You wanted more, you wanted love, a life, a husband, kids, vacation homes, and retirement funds, you wanted the quintessential definition of it all. He also noted you now found everything he was currently partaking in meaningless and unfulfilling.

Dropping his head, he stabbed the cake still in his hands. The more puncture holes it picked up the less and less he wanted it.

“Fuck, maybe I’m just bored and need a really, really, good fuck.”

He snorted but it was humorless.

“Don’t downplay what you feel, Y/N. Don’t—make what you feel insignificant, so you feel less vulnerable. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s you and me here.”

“It’s just—you—I know those are things you don’t necessarily want and you’re happy with the--.”

“Who said I don’t want those things?”

His tone was sharp and defensive though he hadn’t meant for it to be.

“Uh—you did.”

“No. I said it’s not something I can afford right now with my schedule and my contract extension. I didn’t say I never wanted it.”

You looked away from him to out the window. “Yeah, but your actions say a lot different,” you mumble.

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing.”

“Y/N, look at me. What does that mean?”

You sat quietly for a few moments then just when he was about to ask again you blurted.

“There is a difference between I don’t want it now and I don’t want it ever. Someone who wants it someday would leave themselves open to it rather than boxing every interaction they have into--other things.”

“What if I don’t want to open myself to it?”

“That’s clear Lew.”

“No. You don’t get it. What if I don’t want to open myself to it because I don’t want to find the perfect thing—the perfect woman and then be fucked because it’s too soon and too hard to keep her in my world to wait until I can make those commitments because my world is fucked—I’m fucked because I want the world and will actually keep going until I get it anyone else be damned.”

He could feel your eyes on him, and it was his turn to feel vulnerable and exposed.

“You think because you put everyone in one box it stops what’s meant to be from—being?”

He glanced at you with a pained expression, he knew it. He was actually feeling pain.

“Also—you’re not fucked because you want the world. I want the fucking world. Am I fucked?”

“To be determined.”

You both busted out laughing then. You laughed for a good minute then smiled as it tapered off.

“Aren’t you the tiniest bit lonely in the other side of your life—away from F1?”

He didn’t need to think about that. He knew the answer, but he didn’t want to tell you. The facts were that he was lonely more times than not. That was when he called someone to come distract him or make him feel good. He’d become an expert in the art of distraction. In his life, he only had time and the capacity for low stress and no mess. He had enough of both already.

He felt your hand creep into his and squeeze gently. Suddenly, there was all this other stuff again. The feel of your smaller hand in his larger one was something he really liked. Usually, when either of you took the other’s hand it was in passing or for a second, but the moment lingered and stretched, and still you kept your hand in his swirling your fingers against his palm and other fingers. He liked this too much.

“You can tell me. I won’t judge you. In fact—I’m lonely.”

His eyes slipped to you. Your head was down staring at your hands. It had now moved to trace the tattoos on his hand with the point of your nail as if his flesh were an adult coloring book. He watched you trace the rose on his pinky, then the planets on his ring finger. When you got to the lined arrow down his middle, he was having trouble swallowing again. Slowly, you traced the spaceship then went up across the sword until you reached his wrist.

He didn’t know if there was rhyme or reason to your movements or if you were just absently doing it. Goosebumps peppered his skin when you went up his forearm. He looked at you just before your eyes met his.

“You are?”

You nodded. “I am,” you whispered.

The air was on but inside the car easily felt like a sweltering 99 degrees. He didn’t know if it was from your touch or if it was the shift in the air between you. Did you notice it too?

“I think it’s okay to be lonely especially looking at how we live. We’re always working, always pushing ourselves to and through glass ceilings and when we do there is no one really there to share it with, not really, not in the way that fulfills,” you said.

Your face was closer to his now. Had he moved closer or was it you? Your eyes met again, and the temperature kicked up again. Fuck, he thought as his dick recklessly spasmed, begging for attention.

“I’m never lonely with you,” he said before his brain could stop his mouth.

A small smile lit your face, “Me too. Never with you.”

The smile slipped. “Well—not always.”

He turned to you more now, curiosity filling him. “What do you mean?”

You stayed quiet for a few moments but kept tracing his skin with your nail.

“There are times I can’t—guess what you’re thinking. Times I can’t—figure you out.”

“Then ask me.”

“Would you really tell me?”

He leaned closer. “I’d tell you anything.”

You searched his eyes, but you didn’t move back.

“Anything?”

He nodded slowly. His head felt hazy like you had him under some sort of spell with nothing more than your presence and the tip of your finger and all he truly wanted was to touch you in return. So he did. Reaching across to your exposed knee, he circled his finger around the smooth skin there. You sucked in a breath the moment his finger touched you and that one action nearly had him pulling you across the partition right onto his lap. Nearly.

So there on a hill that overlooked London, in his car, sitting near enough to a lone road light, you trailed your finger across his forearm while he did the same to your knee. The low light that illuminated the car bathed your skin in amber making him feel like you were on a whole different plane of existence rather than this real proven and tangible one. Your eyes held him in place to the point where he felt like he couldn’t move though he wanted to.

Without even realizing it you were mere inches from him. In fact, you were so close he could make out the hidden colors in your eyes, so close he could smell the fragrance on your skin that went deeper than perfume. This was your essence and by God he was intoxicated. Unable to stop himself, he inched his hand higher gripping your inner thigh. A soft moan fell from your lips and that was all it took for him to press his forehead to yours like the sound was tethered to his very core.

“Y/N,” he groaned.

The sheer might it was taking to keep himself restrained was becoming too much. At this point, it wouldn’t take much for him to abandon those restraints and give in.

“Lewis,” you whispered.

Your voice was raspy and dripping with what he dared label as desire. Fuck, he thought as he squeezed your thigh. He was so close, mere inches and it wouldn’t take much to close the gap between his fingers and your core but still, he fought himself. He was so wrapped up in his own battle for control within himself that he didn’t even realize when your hand rested on his upper thigh. You were dangerously close to kicking the lid off the box of other stuff that he’d worked years to keep shut. Half of him silently begged for you to keep going and kick it off so everything would be out in the open and it would be do or die but the other half of him hesitated still. The unknown was a powerful and sobering drug.

Your hand inched higher, then closer to what was the rock-hard physical evidence that deep down, now closer to the surface than ever before, he felt more, wanted more than what was. He wanted more than he could possibly afford. Still, his hand persisted, it inched higher making your hips jerk forward. The knowledge that he’d hit a sensitive spot sent his system into overdrive making a deep moan from his lips fill the car.

On cue in response, your legs opened a few inches more, making way for his hand. Jesus Christ he thought. There was his consent, you wanted him as he wanted you. There would be nothing wrong with him slipping his fingers underneath whatever underwear you wore. Fuck, he hoped they were lacy and strappy. There would be nothing wrong with him letting your hand slide to the aching dick straining against his pants begging for your attention. Shit, he bet your hands would feel incredible wrapped around him. There would be nothing wrong with him moving closer and finally claiming your lips as his. Damn, he just knew they were as sweet as they looked, that they felt amazing. There would be nothing wrong with him pulling your body against his for more than a clothed hug. There would be nothing wrong with him cupping your breasts and swirling his thumb across your nipple just to see the reaction it elicited. God damn it, he knew your moans would destroy him. There would be nothing wrong with him finally learning what you tasted like, nothing wrong with him finally smearing your wetness across his lips. Holy fuck, he knew you had to taste like pure sugar and cream.

His cock spasmed again then your hand made the move for him. In the same breath with his eyes squeezed tight, he lurched for your hand, gripping you by your wrist stopping you just before you touched him. As he did that his jaw clenched, the only thing he could do to stifle the moan at the tip of his tongue. It came out as a half groan and growl instead. The strangled whine that left you said you liked it, and he knew he had to end this here. It took him some time to find the smallest bit of control to open his eyes, but he didn’t possess enough control to look at you. There was no way he could.

“I’ll take you home,” he said, voice low and so close to a whisper.

He tried to keep the longing, regret, and hope from it. Slowly he removed his hand from your thigh hoping with everything in him that you grabbed it and nudged it higher. You didn’t though, so he turned forward readying himself to drive. You didn’t move for several long moments; you remained there half facing him with your thighs still tempting him to go back and take things further. With his hands on the steering wheel, he trained his eyes forward. He could feel all the antsy energy bouncing off every cell of his body, he could feel all the need in him wreaking havoc on him telling him to stop being a pussy and do what he really wanted to, say what he wanted to, take what he wanted.

His hands squeezed so tightly that the creaking of the leather echoed in the intense silence in the car. Just when he was about to say fuck it, you turned away from him. You softly cleared your throat then buckled yourself in. Sighing, he pushed started the ignition then swerved out of the parked spot they were in taking the route back to the city. As he drove you didn’t speak, you didn’t even move. You kept your head turned away from him looking out the passenger window with your legs crossed away from him. Your body language sent a completely different message now. Before you were open and so close to him. Now, you were so far he wondered if he’d turned Miles’ words into truths.

~~~~~

-Y/N- 8 Months Later-

The loud ‘pop’ of a champagne cork echoed just behind you making you spin in that direction. A group was just behind you laughing and toasting to something you guessed was momentous. You sighed then turned back to the painting you were currently studying. The abstract lines and swoops looked so similar to the slopes of a body. The longer you stared at it the more it felt like an erotic image than some random lines and swirls. There was something about it that stirred something in you, something that you’d ignored and buried so deep, something you hadn’t felt for 8 months.

You drained your champagne glass then squeezed your eyes shut. It had been a long 8 months. You’d worked your ass off times ten taking on more and more clients than before. You brought on 12 celebrity clients and 4 major corporate ones which brought Halsey, Boyd, and Crenshaw to the top of the field in revenue. You brought in so much money that you’d gotten 7 poaching offers from firms in different parts of the country.

Thanks to those offers that you hadn’t necessarily kept confidential, the interest in you for partner rose to unbeatable levels. Anyone you were competing against for the position paled in comparison. Those 8 months of ass-busting work led to your name being signed on the paperwork titling you as the new partner at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw. It was so much of a done deal that your bank account proudly embraced your new status.

With that new status came an increase in the events you had to make an appearance at as thee number 1 entertainment and criminal attorney in London. Your calendar quickly filled with meetings, speeches, appearances, court appearances, dinners, and more. You were so booked that the next time you had any schedule free time was 6 months away. You’d catapulted so far out of your original tax bracket that you’d shattered the glass ceiling that tried to confine you and now you wondered if you’d aimed too high.

“Looks like I’m right on time.”

You looked to your right and found Darius holding another glass of champagne for you. Smiling, you took it.

“That you are, thank you.”

“Of course. To you, the youngest and newest partner at Halsey Boyd and Crenshaw and in the greater London area.”

You smiled as the man who’d stuck around through your insane schedule, your hot and cold behavior, your pull you close one minute, push you away the next, your disappearing acts, your reluctance to place a label on your interactions, your give me sex then get gone rule, and more for the last 8 months.

“Thank you, Darius,” you said leaning toward him and pressing your lips against his.

Darius moaned and reciprocated the kiss, snaking his hand around your waist and pulling you close. You felt like you were thanking him for much more than the toast and the fresh glass of champagne. You felt like you were thanking him for taking your bare minimum and it made you feel like shit.

Darius pressed his forehead to yours and instantly you had a flash back to the last man who’d done that to you. In a split second, your heart rate spiked, and an intense feeling gripped you.

“You don’t have to thank me, love.”

Your reaction to the action ricocheted through you making you pull away from Darius. Turning back to the painting, you gulped down the champagne.

“It’s crazy that your firm has so many celebrity clients and that this many are here to welcome you as partner,” Darius said in hushed tones.

“It is crazy.”

All night you’d been rubbing elbows with actors, musicians, models, athletes, and more. All of them congratulated you on your promotion and wished you greater success in the future. It was touching but a little bit overwhelming. You couldn’t let on though, so for the entire night you’d been performing, and you were nearing the limits of your stamina for it. You’d been performing for the last 8 months. Shit, you’d even been performing with Darius. You’d been performing ever since you were dropped off in those early morning hours those 8 months ago.

“Y/N,”

To your left, your paralegal now turned assistant, Kemi touched your elbow drawing your attention to her.

“Hey, girl.”

“Hey, you look incredible,” she said.

“Stop saying that please, you’re gonna blow my head up so big I just might start thinking I deserve a higher position.”

She giggled but gave you a look that said “well ya’ do.”

“The big wigs are asking for you, although you’re now one of them so--.”

You snorted while rolling your eyes. “Then doesn’t that make you the big wig assistant?”

She posed then making you laugh.

“I’ll be right back,” you said to Darius as you walked off to find those big wigs.

It didn’t take long before you found them surrounded by a group of about 10 people. When they saw you they waved you over with large smiles on their faces. You took a deep breath and approached them with an equally large smile.

“There she is ladies and gentlemen!”

The group smiled, patted your back, and welcomed you with friendly banter.

“Everyone!”

The music died down and someone handed Malcolm Boyd a microphone. He was your biggest fan, a black man who’d made unfathomable feats in the field and became an incredible mentor and second father to you. He put his arm around your shoulder as he always did.

“I am filled with great happiness and pride calling this woman the new partner here at Halsey, Boyd, and Crenshaw!”

Everyone began applauding then, drowning out his next words so he paused and allowed them a few moments before continuing.

“She has been with us for 6 years now and in those 6 years she has accomplished incredible things and when she was done with those incredible things she moved on to outstanding things. Y/N has reminded many of us of what it means to be determined and persistent. She tackles every case with poise, confidence, and grace and that confidence has given her that 99% win record.”

Again everyone clapped. You softly smiled at them half embarrassed by the praise but half so damn proud of yourself and happy that your accomplishments were being recognized.

“Just as Malcome said, “Patrick Halsey began placing his hand on Malcom’s shoulder, “Y/N more than deserves this promotion and I expect her to blow all of our minds in the coming months and years. We just might have to add another name to the plague.”

Many in the audience hollered and hooted at that and you couldn’t lie that the greedy ambition within you salivated at that possibility. You still wanted more. You exchanged a look with Malcome who gave you an all-knowing look. You just found your next accomplishment. The founding partners took turns praising you and giving reasons why you’d earned this promotion then raised their glasses to you for the ultimate toast of congratulations. You humbly thanked them and gave a quick appreciative speech before lifting your glass to the audience.

As you drank down the tart liquid, your eye caught sight of a figure you hadn’t seen in person for almost 2 months—Lewis. He stood at the back in a black suit that clearly was made for him. His braids were pulled back in the way he liked when he was tackling more professional events. He looked as good as ever. He lifted his glass of water to you and in response you gave him a tight smile.

The same thing happened that always happened when you met one another ever since that night. Your body went through this strange cycle of reaction, excitement, confusion, hurt, anger, annoyance, and disappointment. It was exhausting. Because of these feelings, you regretted that night. You regretted allowing your thoughts to go so astray that you opened up your ‘what if’ box. You regretted every whisper, every lean in, every almost touch, every lingering look, everything. You even regretted getting out of his car when he pulled up to your condo instead of pulling him by his hair to you and telling him to go upstairs with you. you didn’t know what you regretted more.

The worst part was that you had to continue on like always. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem because that night was not the first night there had been many ‘what if’ nights over your decade-long friendship. The common factor was that both of you moved on and slinked back into the basics of your relationship—comfort and friendship. This time is difficult, so difficult you contemplated passing his case off to another attorney. If it hadn’t been for Malcome talking you out of it he would have been someone else’s responsibility. Instead, you put on your big girl panties and a mask and did something you never thought you’d ever do with him—performed.

When the crowd thinned out and everyone returned to what they were doing you began making your way back to Darius in the opposite direction. You were ready to leave. Before you got far Lewis stepped in front of you stopping you in your tracks.

“Congratulations, Y/N.”

Smiling, you thanked him.

“You look--,” his words stalled as his eyes roamed your body. You noted the conflicted look on his face before it disappeared. “Incredible,” Lewis finished.

His compliment made your body warm and something like hope filled you. Chastising yourself you swallowed the lump in your throat. “Thank you. You look nice too.”

Lewis scoffed softly then nodded. You then tried to slip by him, however, Lewis wasn’t having it. Again, he stepped in front of you.

“In a rush to get away from me?”

“Why would you say that? Have you done anything to me for me to want that?”

Silence stretched and Lewis studied you his jaw clenched tightly. Instead of speaking, he looked down, an act of defeat.

“Can we talk, Y/N?”

“We’re talking right now.”

He gave you an unamused look, but you kept your nonchalant, innocent one. Unexpectedly Miles approached then.

“There she is--partner lady. Congratulations Y/N.”

You smiled then hugged Miles. “Thank you!”

“This is incredible news, Y/N. So happy for you.”

“I appreciate that. Thank you for coming,” you replied.

“You know me, always this fool’s plus one.”

You smiled then the silence returned for a few seconds before Lewis spoke again.

“Maybe we can go somewhere—quiet after this?”

“Unfortunately I don’t think I can.”

“Why?”

Just then Darius approached and wrapped his arm around your waist resting his hand on your hip. You watched Lewis’ eyes drop to that hand and continued to watch as his jaw turned tight as if it filled with cement.

“Oh wow. Lewis Hamilton,” Darius said turning to you, his voice awestricken. “Babe it’s Lewis Hamilton.”

You nodded as a soft smile played on your lips. “Let me introduce you. Darius, this is one of my clients, Lewis Hamilton, and his best friend Miles Chamley-Watson fencing champion and Olympian. Miles, Lewis this is my—.”

You hesitated and in the same second, you felt Darius’ eyes on you filled with hope. Two other pairs of eyes were on you--one giving complete double eyeball emoji and the other searing you almost daring you to continue. The longer you didn’t speak, you watched Darius’ hope turn to disappointment. Glancing back at Lewis you found his eyebrow up with a curious and confrontational look while Miles was the epitome of if ‘well this is awkward’ was a person.

“This is Darius Forrester.”

You felt even more like shit now. Darius shook Lewis’ hand first then Miles’. While he did Lewis looked him over sizing him up. You knew he was wondering if he was the same man from those months ago when you’d told him you were on a date.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m a fan,” Darius said to Lewis.

“Thank you. I appreciate that. I can sign something for you if you want.”

You rolled your eyes at his underhanded jab while a half chortle escaped Miles. Darius on the other hand leapt at the opportunity, handing Lewis the only thing he had, an art bidding ballot. Lewis signed the back but kept his eyes on Darius’ hand on your hip.

“Bidding on some art tonight?”

“I am. There is a piece this gorgeous angel has been staring at all night, it’ll be my gift to her for her promotion,” Darius explained rubbing your hip.

You smiled at him then kissed his cheek. Lewis now looked entertained while Miles’ eyes widened as he finished the drink in his hand.

“Ehm, anyway. So I’m sorry I can’t pencil you in tonight but if you call Kemi and make an appointment she’ll get you on the calendar for a different day for that talk,” you said.

“Plans tonight,” Miles guessed looking between you and Darius.

“Absolutely. I’ve had way too much to drink and plan on taking advantage of that.”

You leaned closer to Darius kicking up your performance another notch. Lewis smirked but also clenched his jaw to that. Miles whistled while nodding his head.

“Go on then Ms. Partner, fly by the seat of your panties or no panties,” Miles teased making you and Darius chuckle while Lewis gave him an unamused look.

“Well, enjoy your evening gentlemen. Thank you again for coming by,” you said before you made a move to walk off with Darius.

As you walked away you placed your hand over Darius’ and slyly slipped it lower to rest on your ass. You knew Lewis was watching and decided to deliver the last blow. Was it petty? Yes. Was it fair to Daius? Not at all.

The next hour or so passed with you roaming around the gallery looking at the art while Darius flirted with you. As you roamed, no matter where you went you saw Lewis from the corner of your eye and no matter how much space was between you, your skin reacted as if Darius’ touch was his. The more you felt that way the reality that Darius’ touch was in fact all his own annoyed you making you feel even worse. You knew what needed to be done and knew it had to be done soon.

The only way you could distract yourself was with glass after glass of champagne. As you emerged from one of your countless trips to the bathroom you bumped into Miles.

“Funny bumping into you here.”

You smiled warmly, “Still here? I thought you and Lewis left hours ago.”

“You knew we were still here,” he accused.

You tried to give an affronted look but failed. He was right. Sighing, your act fell for the first time that night.

“Wow. Feels good to not perform huh.”

You looked at Miles and wondered just how much he knew. He didn’t keep you in suspense long.

“What a twisted web we weave when we practice to deceive.” He scoffed, shook his head then continued, look, I am going to tell you the same thing I told Lewis.”

You perked up then but tried to play it off.

“You better stop playing before somebody gets hurt and by the looks of it, it’s gonna be your homeboy Darius if not all three of you.”

You took in his words then put your mask back in place. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah you do, just like Lewis knew what I was talking about all those years ago, but he still decided to keep playing, and now look where we are.”

Your curiosity peaked then. “What are you talking about Miles? What do you think you know?”

He scoffed. “I’m a straightforward kinda guy so I’ll say I know everything. As the neutral 3rd party who is both on the outside looking in and the inside watching this train wreck, I know everything. I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me, and I know what you don’t tell him.”

Your eyes lingered and the longer they did the more you got his meaning. Glancing away you tried to pretend like his words meant nothing, but you knew you were failing.

“I get it, I really do; 10 years is a long time to put at risk but are you really putting it at risk knowing all you know? You have 10 years of proof. Man up.”

Miles leaned in, kissed your cheek, and whispered, “Let homeboy go so he can find someone who really loves him, someone who can love him. Your corner is full.”

With that, he walked away leaving you speechless and confused. Your corner was full? You had no idea whatsoever what that meant, and you were tempted to follow Miles and get some clarification, but you decided against it remembering the last time you chased down the rabbit hole. When you found Darius again his expression was somber when he told you that the painting he’d been bidding on was outbid and that he didn’t have it to gift you. After assuring him you were fine, you decided you were more than ready to leave.

Darius got the car as you waited outside allowing the cold air to cool your skin. You didn’t care that you were risking illness because it served as a needed distraction. When you felt a fabric drape over your shoulders you bristled at first but then Lewis’ scent circled you and your body relaxed. Even that annoyed you.

“I don’t need this. Darius will be back soon anyway.”

Lewis snorted. “8 months, is that a record?”

“I think it’s a record for you, but I’ve gone longer.”

He scoffed then shook his head. “No doubt, remember Y/N. I will be here long after you get bored with them all. I’m always here.”

Your eyes locked and his should have been radiating cockiness that matched his words, but instead, they were gentle, open, and vulnerable.

“Will you?”

There was no time to reply because a car horn blared drawing your attention. Darius waved at you as he got out of the car to walk around to the passenger side.

“Good night Lewis.”

You walked away from him then slipped into the passenger side. As you waited for Darius to get in and drive off, you stared at Lewis who hadn’t budged from the curb where you left him. Miles’ words echoed back to you then.

“Just like Lewis knew what I was talking about all those years ago, but he still decided to keep playing, and now look where we are.”

“You have 10 years of proof.”

“Your corner is full.”

The word ‘full’ echoed over and over as Darius pulled off. Bullshit, you said to yourself in disbelief.

When Darius pulled up to your condo you sat there marinating in all your thoughts throughout the nearly thirty-minute drive. It wasn’t until you felt Darius’ hand on your exposed knee did you realize he was still there.

“Are you okay? Want me to come up?”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “We need to talk Darius.”

When you looked at him his expression said he knew just what you were about to say. Being as gentle as you could, you ended things. Although the old “it’s not you it’s me” line fit the situation perfectly. You dug a little deeper and gave him and heartfelt reason without revealing you were and had been in love with your best friend for 10 years and didn’t realize it until his feelings were already on the line. When you finished, Darius remained the good guy he was and told you he understood and that he’d expected this sooner or later. You thanked him for being good to you then began making your way to the elevators.

Halfway there you dug into the pocket of the jacket you wore and froze. When you took your hand out you held a note with your name sprawled on the front in Lewis’ handwriting.

-Y/N-

I’ve thought for months about what to say to you because there is so much to say, so much that has gone unsaid for so long that I don’t know where to start—how to start. 10 years is a long time especially when neither of us has been 100% honest with the other. I want to end that. Please.

-Lewis

You read then reread the note over and over hoping you would know what to do next but no matter how many times you did, you had nothing. So you walked back and forth in the lobby. When your phone sounded, you found a message from Lewis.

MSG Lewis: Ball’s in your court. I’m outside your building.

You froze then slowly turned and saw his car. It had been months since you’d been in a car with him and the thought of doing it again freaked you out a little. Your eyes met at that moment, but he didn’t move. He was giving you the time to decide for yourself. You turned your back to him then walked to the elevators but stopped halfway. After a few moments, you turned back around and walked to the doors only to stop halfway again and repeat the whole cycle. Still, Lewis didn’t budge. He just watched as your internal debate played out physically.

After ten minutes you stooped down and put your down, completely exhausted by your indecisiveness. Taking a deep breath, you held it and allowed your lungs to adjust. It was an action you often did to help you think and calm down. As your oxygen levels decreased your heartbeat would slow and as it did, there was always one particular beat where you figured it all out. It usually came right in the nick of time.

So you allowed your heartbeat to slow and though you should have panicked you didn’t. You thought clearer than you’d ever thought before.

“I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me, and I know what you don’t tell him.”

Miles’ words came back to you again and it was then you gasped filling your lungs with air. After a few breaths, you stood then turned to the doors. It worked all the time. With your head high and back straight you walked toward them then climbed inside Lewis’ car. Without a word, he pulled off then turned back onto the streets.

~~~~~~

Thirty minutes later you walked into a penthouse suite right behind Lewis.

“Why here?”

“Thought neutral ground would make you more comfortable.”

You scoffed and beelined right to the bar, tossing his suit jacket over the back of one of the bar stools. As you mixed yourself a drink you tried not to focus on him, but you did. No matter where he went you knew. You were hypersensitive to him at this point. You’d only meant to make a glass but ended up making a whole shaker cup. You kicked off your heels, climbed onto the bar stool then plopped yourself on the countertop. Once comfortable you crossed your legs and sipped your drink.

“Where’s Darius?”

“Not here obviously.”

“You and I are so alike it’s insane,” he said as he approached you, but he didn’t come close. He stopped at the sectional couches in the middle of the large living area and then sat.

The silence in the room was thick for such a long time you began thinking about leaving altogether.

“Congratulations again. I’m so fucking proud of you. You saw something you wanted and didn’t stop until you got it. You deserve this.”

Your stomach flipped hearing his praise. More than anyone he knew what you’d gone through to get here. It touched you. Looking away from him, you cleared your throat. “Thanks.”

His eyes remained on you as if daring you to look back at him. It was a dare you had to accept. Your eyes locked and you instantly felt it. There was so much to say. Just behind him, you saw something familiar. Squinting, you made out the painting you’d been staring at all night, the painting Darius wanted to bid on for you. It clicked then, the reason why Darius couldn’t win it was because Lewis claimed it first. You scoffed, the man was competitive and dominant to a fault. You couldn’t help but be touched by the gesture though.

Lewis sighed bringing your eyes back to him, “I don’t even know where to start,” groaned, rubbed his eyes then spoke again. “Maybe I’m sorry is a good place.”

You studied him for a few moments then took a mouthful of your drink. “For what?”

“You know for what.”

That night.

Those words hung in the air, and you did your best to remain aloof. Scoffing, you shook your head. “It’s all good Lewis.”

“You’re lying and you know it. I thought attorneys believed in the truth.”

“Who are you to tell me what my truth is?!”

You hadn’t meant to shout it, but you did.

“Because more times than not our truths match up and I am sure that what happened was not all good to you because it wasn’t to me.”

“And what exactly wasn’t all good to you?”

“The way we—I left things,” he quietly said.

You waited for him to continue because there was no way in hell you were going to make this easy for him. He wanted to talk so he’d talk. Lewis shook his head then hung it backward. He sat there staring into the ceiling for almost a full minute before he looked back at you.

“I just—flipped when we were—you were—you wanted--,” he stuttered.

You scoffed again, “Don’t flatter yourself, Lewis,” you said slipping into the barstool and spinning it around so your back faced him.

“What?”

“You and I both know that none of that meant anything to you. It’s all good.”

“Now who’s telling who what their truth is?”

You didn’t take the bait, instead, you kept your back to him and finished your glass.

“You forget, I know you, Lewis. 10 years of friendship and I know you so well that it was my own damn fault that night.”

“Whatdaya know?”

After refilling your glass you turned back around then hopped off the stool and walked toward the large floor-to-ceiling window. “I know that that you were with one of your rotation chicks before you came to pick me up. I smelled her on you. That fruity aroma was all her. I know that because of that tidbit of info, none of it meant anything.”

Leaning against the window you stared down at the view of London. Lights glistened down below, and you imagined everyone scurrying to where they had to go so wrapped up in their own thoughts or existence to even suspect that it all was fleeting.

“Okay, I’ll own that bit. Yeah, I was with one of them but that was only after I found out you were on a date.”

“So it’s my fault. I was on a date living my life, so you decided to get your dick wet. Okay.”

You took another sip from your glass not liking the direction of this little talk he wanted to have.

“I never said it was your fault. It’s just a fact. I texted you because I wanted to see you, wanted to spend time with you and you were spending time with someone else, someone you probably did God knows what with hours before you saw me.”

And with that, you were done here. Finishing the glass you turned and walked to the door.

“Good night Lewis.”

He scurried in front of you blocking your path. “Wait, please. Shit! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Two sorries in the span of twenty minutes, cool. Get out of my way.”

“No, Y/N, please wait.”

You sighed, rubbing your forehead. “I’m sick and tired of waiting. I’ve waited 10 years!”

“You’ve waited? I’ve—.”

Lewis threw his hands up then walked away grunting and talking to himself. He looked insane and it kind of made you pleased seeing it. He always appeared so in control, so aware of himself and his actions at all times. It had all gone to shit now. You stood there debating if you should just leave and let things remain how they were until the day you both just stopped talking and checking in and it ended up going on for another 10 years until you were just people who used to know one another, people who’d missed out on something. It was then you realized you weren’t wearing shoes.

“Shit,” you whispered.

“I wanted you that night. I wanted you more than I had ever wanted anyone, including anyone in the rotation. Do you know what I was doing while you were on your date?”

“Getting your dick wet. I know.”

“I was lying on Julissa’s bed as she gave me head.”

You scoffed, “Of course you were.”

“She’d been going for 40 minutes and still I was barely hard. No matter what she did, no matter the tricks, no matter how nice it felt, barely hard. I was lying on her bed with my dick in her mouth thinking about you on your fucking date.”

You looked at him then. Those were words you hadn’t expected.

“My mind went crazy thinking what was happening. The longer that went by without you texting me the thoughts killed me. As soon as I got your message I left. No other thought, just you. I prayed to God that the date didn’t go well enough for you to let him upstairs. Then I saw what you were wearing, and I couldn’t believe I was jealous. I was jealous.”

“Why?”

Lewis looked at you then. “Because he got to see you like that. You’d dressed up for him, wanted to turn him on with that outfit. He’d spent the entire night with you. He’d had what I wanted.”

Well shit, you thought before walking back to the bar. Rather than making another drink, you took up a bottle of champagne and brought it to your lips.

“Do you know what it feels like to want someone so bad that it fucks with you and everything you do? To want someone more than you’ve wanted anything. To want someone in a way that is new to you, so new that it scares you. Do you know what it feels to have this crippling fear every time that someone is in your grasp, but not being able to resist the temptation, the desire to make them yours? Do you know what it feels like to know that you only burn this bright, this hot, this dangerous with one person, and the burn is all-consuming?”

He looked almost hysterical now. “Do you know what it feels like to want the perfect someone for you? I’m talking molded for you in every way while knowing it’s not the right time for you because you both want too much from the world and because you know that because you burn so hot, so bright that you’ll burn each other if either of you ever let go and let it happen? To know you are so similar that you will either destroy each other or ruin one another for anyone else.”

The look on his face was so damn relatable. He’d just said everything you’d thought over the last 10 years. Everything.

“I know what he tells me and what he doesn’t tell me.”

He was practically ranting now. Spewing every single thing that he’d ever thought, confessing it all.

“So because of all that you try to keep up pretenses that you’re friends and nothing more though you have countless moments where you slip up and stare at them too long, or hold them in your arms from a hug for half a minute too long, or let your hand linger in theirs or around their waist to test boundaries because you just can’t not touch them, or even find reasons to do every single thing together. You take those 2 steps forward not realizing you do because the pull is too strong, then you freak out and leap back 5 steps. You do this for weeks, months, years until 10 of them have passed and you have this huge box you’d filled with all the other stuff between you that you can’t express or fess up to until that box just gets stirred by one action, one moment--one night.”

His eyes were locked on yours. Somehow he’d traveled across the room to the bar and was standing right in front of you. Somehow he’d locked you in the frame of his arms leaving you nowhere to run. Somehow he’d managed to inflate your chest with hope right beside your thundering heart.

“Then suddenly—everything has changed, and nothing can be the same ever again,” he finished, his voice a whisper in the completely silent room.

You watched his eyes lower to your lips and your gut flipped again.

“Do you know what any of that feels like, Y/N?”

There were only mere inches between you now and the sheer proximity of his body to yours made you shiver.

“H—how long—have you—felt this way?”

Your voice quivered in a way that made it obvious to him what his nearness was doing to you.

“10--fucking years,” Lewis replied eyes glued to yours.

He took one step to you, “I’ve spent the last 8 months cleaning my life, cleaning my circle because I’ve gotten to the point where I could no longer ignore that everyone else is number 2 for me. You’re number one, Y/N.”

You were frozen in place, unsure what to say, and even more unsure what to do. He was right, your truths usually did line up and this was no different.

“And I know it scares you, shit it scares me too. All of this does. I know my life is insane and yours is about to be even more so, I get you still have things you want to accomplish; I saw your face when Halsey mentioned adding your name to the plaque. You want it and I want it for you as well as the world for both of us. Our timing can’t be any worse, but something has got to give, love, because I can’t take another year let alone 10 of this.”

You took a deep, ragged breath.

“Where--,” Lewis began before stopping and chewing his top lip.

It was a nervous tick. “Where do I—stand—with you?”

For 10 years he’d been so hard to read, so nearly impossible to gauge, and here right now in the darkness of the room you could see him as clear as day. He was oh so transparent and scared you’d reject him. Scared you’d decide he was more trouble than he was worth. Scared he’d just showed you his heart and ruined your friendship in the process. Without realizing it you were crying; you felt a tear roll down your cheek.

Sniffling, you wiped it away, “Ehm, I broke up with Darius tonight.”

Lewis looked shocked. Clearly, he thought you were still together.

“Why?”

You wiped the other tear that fell from your eye then looked away from him. All of a sudden the room felt smaller than it was, it felt as if the walls were closing in on you. Lewis cupped the back of your head cradling your skull in his palm making you look him in the eyes.

“Why?”

“For the last 8 months, I’ve been hot and cold with him, I pulled him close one minute then the next pushed him away, I disappeared a lot always using work as the excuse. I was busy, yeah, but it wasn’t work. I was always so reluctant to put a label on what we were doing, every time he brought it up I changed the subject never giving him the answer he wanted. Even when we had sex--.”

Lewis took a deep breath, dropped his head, and harshly released it, clearly displeased with confirmation that he’d had you that way, but you continued.

“Even then it was usually always on my terms, and I always wanted him to leave right after. I was—I was always thinking about someone else, something else instead of him, and for 8 months I never felt anything remotely close to what I felt that night with him. over the months every time I saw you it hacked at whatever was going on between me and him until tonight seeing you again it just--.”

You flicked your five fingers indicating an explosion. I’ve become hypersensitive to you, and I don’t know when it happened. It dawned on me that—I was using Darius and it wasn’t fair.”

Lewis searched your eyes not hiding the hurt in his. You took a step towards him. “You’re right about a few things. Our timing couldn’t be any worse.”

He nodded.

“Our truths usually always line up.”

Lewis looked hopeful then.

“Your life is insane.”

The hope faltered.

“I do want my name on that plaque, and I will get it.”

A small smile crooked his lips.

Another tear rolled down your cheek and again you wiped it away, “I can also no longer ignore that everyone else is number 2 for me. Always has been because you’re my number one.”

He clenched his jaw then and the emotion that washed over his face rocked you. Like an earthquake rocking the Earth’s surface.

“I am scared.”

As this tear rolled, Lewis was the one to reach out and gently wipe it with the pad of his thumb. Your lip quivered.

“I’m so scared.”

Lewis pushed forward then, crashing his lips to yours in one swift move. Once your lips met neither of you went slow. The kiss was frenzied from the beginning, both of you wanting it all and not wanting to waste any more time taking it. As his tongue rolled with yours you closed the space between you pressing your body against him. Lewis softly moaned, wrapping his arms around you. When you bit down on his bottom lip he groaned then walked you backward until your back collided with the edge of the bar. Trapping you there once again, he kissed you without holding a thing back and your body responded to him instantaneously.

In a matter of seconds, you both were moaning against each other and completely wrapped up in the new feelings that were consuming you. Lewis cupped your face as he kissed you then ran his hands down to your neck. You couldn’t deny that this felt even better than you imagined. Moaning, you clutched his waist but when that didn’t suffice, you slowly slid your hands up along his toned abs, over his chest taking in the bulge of muscle there. When you wrapped them around his neck, Lewis pressed more persistently against you.

“Mmmm!”

Lewis tore his lips from you and put his forehead to yours. “Fuck, I don’t want to get too carried away. I’m sorry I should have asked first.”

“Consent fucking given,” you said before you crashed your lips to his.

This time you took control. Swirling your tongue with his you didn’t give him time to react or gain the upper hand. You wanted to taste him, and you refused to wait any longer. Teasing his lips, you nibbled his bottom one, taking your time to sensually suck on it until he moaned against you. The vibration shot through you making you feel like you’d only now just begun to truly feel. Lewis’ hands roughly gripped your hips, holding you steady so you could feel that you weren’t the only one finally feeling for the first time.

Heightening both if your pleasure, you sucked his tongue until he groaned. The next thing you knew Lewis’ had you by the hips lifting you onto the bar top. You wrapped your thighs around him and nearly came when you felt his hands pry your legs apart. The heat radiating off of his hand on your bare thigh reminded you of the night in his car and you prayed he didn’t stop again.

As if reading your mind, Lewis met your eyes while he slid his hand higher and higher and higher until his fingers crawled to your inner thigh. Softly he raked his manicured nails against your skin forcing a whimper from you. You bit down on your bottom lip and silently willed yourself not to cum from the anticipation. Suddenly the back of Lewis’ fingers brushed against your sex. Your gasp was loud, breathy, and stretched out as he took his time moving centimeter by centimeter until he’d trapped your clit between his pointer and middle finger. Your jaw dropped all the while he held your gaze.

When he tightened his fingers and rubbed against you, your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You knew then he was dangerous, and you were going to cum.

“F—ha—fu-huck!”

Your back arched, head fell back as your body moved like it were possessed. Each spasm of pleasure had you bucking against his fingers until you could hardly breathe.

“My god you’re so fucking beautiful when you cum, love.”

You giggled and moaned as the tremors worked their way through you. “Mmm, orgasms and compliments, a girl could get used to this,” you cooed.

“Good. This is your future.”

Lewis moved his hand, brought them to your thighs then lifted them. As he planted your heels at the edge of the bar, you knew what he wanted. Your eyes dropped to his lips then you moaned. Pulling your dress away from your legs you allowed them to fall back to the bar showing him not only gymnasts were flexible.

“Oh fuck,” Lewis groaned.

You watched his eyes drop to your sex and the look on his face was unlike any you’d ever seen. No one had looked at you like this before. He stared where your thighs met like it was the most mesmerizing thing he’d ever seen, the first of its kind and something he wanted to completely destroy. You now felt like prey spread before him like this, like at any moment he was going to pounce on you.

“Mmm.”

Lewis came closer and closer until he rested on his elbows and was just inches from your sex. The anticipation was killing, and he had to know it.

“I knew you were a lacy knickers kind of woman,” he muttered.

“I take it you’re a lacy knickers kind of man.”

“On you, fuck yes.”

With that, Lewis hooked his thumbs in your underwear and pulled them to the side. He blew out a breath in reaction to seeing you bare for the first time and that breath fucked you up all over again. You threw your head back trying to calm your anxieties, but just when you met his eyes again you found his tongue out sliding against your wet folds.

Oh—my—goooood!”

Lewis moaned and did it again and again until he circled your clit with the tip of his tongue. “Mmmm.”

Lewis pressed your thighs back keeping them spread then went to town. If you’d ever doubted before that his mouth game was incredible you didn’t now. He licked, flicked, and sucked along your flesh making your back remain in a prolonged arch. Within seconds you were whining and writhing as his tongue worked literal fucking magic. The sound of Lewis’ slurping echoed in the living room and that was when your hands grabbed his head. Pulling his hair free you held on and bucked against his mouth.

“Mmm.”

He stuck his tongue out and let you take over. With every buck against his tongue, you called his name and the more the tip of his tongue flicked your clit the more out of control you felt. Your release was so close your body moved more wildly needing it at all costs.

“I’m gonna cum Lewis.”

“Cum for me, Y/N!”

You didn’t need to be told more than once and when you were right on the precipice you felt Lewis slid two digits inside of you. Just like that, your orgasm morphed from a toe-curling release to soul snatching one. You screeched as your body convulsed but he didn’t stop then, he pumped his fingers in and out of you then added a third finger stretching you wide.

“Uuuugh fuck!”

You barely finished your words before Lewis threw you over his shoulder, keeping his fingers inside of you. As he walked through the suite his fingers kept fucking you, readying you for him. When your back met the soft sheets of the mattress, Lewis still hadn’t broken contact. He watched you now as you lay there unable to control your body.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Pulling his fingers free he cleaned two of them off before you sprang to your knees to claim the third. As you sucked his finger you kept your eyes on his. You could see how badly he wanted you, how much he wanted from you, and you couldn’t believe he’d held back all this time. You took your time sliding each button through its slot until his shit was wide open. When you pushed it off of him you took in a sight you’d seen plenty of times only now it was different.

You brought your hands to feel across his torso marveling at each defined ab muscle and each tattoo. When you intentionally rubbed against his beaded nipple you noted the way his Adam’s apple bobbed. How had you never noticed your effect on him? How had you never taken it seriously? Bringing your hands back to his waist you undid his pants. You brushed your palm against the protruding mass straining against his pants which made him shiver as he grunted.

“Oops.”

Lewis scoffed then licked his lips and that was all it took for him to claim back some of the control you possessed over this exchange.

“Of course, you’re a fucking tease.”

You innocently smiled. “I haven’t even begun to tease you.”

“I bet.”

Lewis snuck forward kissing you one peck at a time, over and over.

“Mm, can you take it?”

“Any other night my answer would be yes, hell in an hour my answer will be yes but right now--.”

He cupped your sex with on hand and the back of your neck with the other.

“Mmm.”

“Right now, I have no control left. I’ve remained in control around you for 10 years and right now I just want to let it all go. I want to bury myself so deep inside of you there is no mistake that we belong to each other bad timing or not. It’s you and me, Y/N.”

You groaned as his words only increased the wetness between your legs. You kissed him again, then you turned your back to him and swayed your body against him. Lewis dropped a kiss to your shoulder as his hand crept around to cup the underside of your breast. You leaned forward getting on all fours with your ass poking out to him.

“Undo me?”

He didn’t move for a few moments, and you waited for him to enjoy the view. When you felt his hand rub against your ass you dipped your back lower which only made your ass poke out more. Lewis trailed his hand along your spine that the backless gown proudly showed off. Then he went to your tailbone and lowered the zipper of the dress. Peeping over your shoulder, your eyes locked as you allowed the dress to fall away from your body.

His groan was low—primal. It was all you needed to hear to know he liked the strappy number you wore that was made of fine lace. You expected him to take his time but instead, you felt him peel off the garment leaving you completely naked before him for the first time ever.

“You’re so wet for me, Y/N. So wet and so fucking perfect.”

You spread your legs further then stretched your arms over your head using your head to hold you up. As expected, Lewis flipped you onto your back making you giggle. You roamed your hands over your body, cupping your breasts then sliding them down your abdomen to your dripping core. The entire time, Lewis kept his eyes on every move you made while he pulled his pants and underwear off.

When he stood bare before you, your surprise could not be masked. You didn’t know what you’d expected in your late-night thoughts about what he was packing but you had no way of expecting this. Lewis gripped his length then slowly stroked it as he pressed a knee onto the mattress.

“Scared?”

You bit your bottom lip as you gawked at what the good lord blessed him with. It was unfair and completely intimidating.

“Now I see why everyone in the rotation was so happy being one of many.”

He snorted, bringing his other knee to the mattress between. Slowly he stalked closer like a predator with a deadly weapon in hand.

“There is no rotation anymore.”

“Oh yeah. The LH44 Harem has been disbanded?”

As he crept closer, you slid backward.

“You’re not funny.”

“So am I the first to usher in a new era—a new harem?”

Lewis grabbed your ankle then pulled you back to him making the backs of your thighs slam into the fronts of his. He then hovered over you before dropping an opened mouth kiss on your nipple. Sucking the peak into his mouth he sucked raising your back off of the bed.

“You’re in no harem. I told you, it’s you—and me,” he said nibbling your flesh.

Stared at him letting it all sink in. You brought your hand to his bearded cheek and rested it there.

“Are we really doing this? Like—for real?”

Lewis boxed your face in with his muscular arms and stared into your eyes. “I’ve told you where I stand, Y/N. I’ve told you everything that’s in here.”

He took your hand and placed it over the roaring lion etched on his skin keeping his hand over yours.

“It’s time you tell me what’s in here,” he finished placing his other hand over your left breast.

“You,” you whispered.

“I love you, Y/N.”

Before you could react or even respond Lewis thrust forward sending the tip of his hardness inside of you, stealing your breath, and every thought. A breathy gasp filled the air. Slowly he pushed forward, leisurely filling you giving you time to adjust to his size.

“Haaaa.”

Lewis kept his hand over your heart while holding yours over his as he filled you inch by tortuous inch never taking his eyes off yours. Your entire being was on fire like he was pouring molten lava inside of you with every inch he gave you.  

“Oh fu—Lewis,” you panted.

From the way his jaw was clenched, and eyes focused intently on you, you could tell he was feeling everything you were.

“How are you so tight?”

Digging your nails into his chest you tightened your leg around his waist and as if that was his last straw, Lewis flicked his hips forward filling you completely and tearing a scream from both of your lips. Neither of you moved for several moments but with every second that passed by your body blazed. Bucking against him, you slid your hand up to his throat and then gripped it.

“I love you. Fuck me. Now!”

Those words would be your ruin because he did just that without mercy and complete recklessness. Your moans and whimpers melded together rising in decibel and power until the entire room shook with the power of your screams for one another. As he plowed inside of you he didn’t go slow, he followed his basal instincts that were imprinted in his DNA, a need to claim, and dominate.

You’d never felt so out of control in your life. No matter how he fucked you, you couldn’t get enough. No matter how deep he went you wanted him deeper. No matter how he called your name you wanted him to scream it. You wanted every fucking thing he had. You wanted to leave him in shambles. When he flipped you onto your stomach like you weighed nothing, he held your ass in the air and fucked you so thoroughly you’d lost track of how many times you came. It didn’t matter because you wanted more.

He must have been able to read your mind because there was no way he could tell what you needed this soon, you thought to yourself as he grabbed your wrists and pulled you back, so he had your upper body hovering above the mattress.

“Oh my god, I’m cumming Lewis! Ooh shiiiiiit!”

He took advantage of this new angle and circled his hips as he jackhammered into you, fucking you as you did something you’d never done before—squirted. You screamed from the force of your release, but Lewis didn’t stop, he fucked you through it then torpedoed you into another one that you knew would tear you apart. Racing for it, you slammed yourself back into him relishing the mix of pain and pleasure that only intensified when Lewis bit down on your shoulder.

“You got one more for me, darlin? Cum for me. Soak this dick, pretty girl, drench me so I can fill that pretty pussy up.”

“Aaah!”

You clenched around him as you lost yourself and fell off the cliff and into an endless pit of pleasure. You felt Lewis spasm inside of you before he cursed and shouted his release doing just what he promised. Filling your pretty pussy up.

When the two of you finally collapsed on the bed Lewis held you to him spooning you while still being nestled inside of you. Bit by bit you came back to your body and slowly your body went from violent shakes to subtle tremors and a hazy feeling washed over you. Lewis peppered kisses along your neck and shoulder nipping your skin every now and then.

“Mmm. Oh my god!”

He snorted. “You good?”

“Good? Am I good? Are you—at the risk of swelling your head even more than it already is that was--.”

“Was?”

You searched for the words but couldn’t find the right ones. “It was,” you settled on making him laugh as he held you tighter.

“Naw, I was alright, you—you were,” he said making you snort.

“Shut up.”

“No, I’m being for real for real. It’s a miracle I held on that long, you feel unbelievable, so good, too good. You—are!”

You giggled then moaned, sleepiness creeping up on you.

“Don’t you dare fall asleep, I’m nowhere near done with you.”

His manhood inside of you lurched nudging your g-spot and just like that your eyes snapped wide open.

“Watch yourself, I know your weakness now.”

“You?”

“Nope, this pussy.”

Lewis snorted then flipped you onto your stomach again. This time he straddled you as he slowly pulled out of you only to plunge right back in.

“Mmm.”

“Still so damn tight,” Lewis groaned.

“You’re welcome to try stretching me out.”

Lewis jerked his hips forward delivering a bruising thrust as punishment for your your sassy mouth. It was a thrust that took your breath and made you go cross-eyed.

“Mmm, yes!”

“Oh, aren’t you full of surprises. Pretty girl likes it rough and hard.”

He did it again and again, making you hit the bed each time as you buried your face in the sheet to muffle your screams.

“God yes, Lewis!”

“So fucking alike,” Lewis said before lowering his lips to your ear. “Remember I love you 'cause I’m about to fuck you like I don’t.”

Not waiting for a reply he held your arms to the bed then delivered on his promise. Everyone else was number 2 compared to you being each other’s number 1. Nothing else mattered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[hedwigoprah]

Thursday Bangers (from a couple weeks ago)

As if I’d miss the Taylor Swift prompt 🤭

Thanks again @woundedsoul12

I’ve loved you three summers now honey, but I want them all.

Lover by Taylor Swift

This prompt was different for me because I actually know the song for once.

This one started out as something and then went somewhere else. Here’s your content warning for a panic attack.

@serensama does this count as a WIP? I wrote it this morning 😉

2.4K words that I’ll probably publish to AO3 later. Probably with more thorough edits too. Please forgive my errors, it was 4am when I started this.

If she bit at it any more her thumb would start bleeding. She hadn't really even noticed she was doing it until the zip of pain of her nailbed being breeched gave warning. Veryl took a quick look at her finger before tucking it into a fist and leaning forward on her knees. The bouncing was jarring but it did what it needed to.

They were playing games tonight in the main hall. A few rounds of cards and then something with dice that they were laughing and yelling about now. Veryl had tried hard to concentrate on it but her heartbeat kept accelerating unprompted, making it more difficult to keep up.

The weird heaviness she had felt at the start of the day had not abated. She thought that sparring or even running on their rare off day might help to alleviate the feeling, but no luck.

Reading while Bellara tinkered on something in her workshop didn't help. Nor did talking with Neve about theories, or keeping Lucanis company while he cooked— a mostly silent endeavor. When quiet activities had failed, she turned to hitting things with Taash or playing tag with Assan.

The well just seemed to open further and further. The pressure of wasting a day of rest compounding the gaping absence of… something.

And there was no direct cause she could point at. Of course there were a lot of variables that could trigger something like this, but in most cases she usually felt comforted by the lack of conclusions they could draw. They knew that it would be hard, and that was all she needed to know to get through it.

Life was reasonably okay, they were safe for now.

If she had to guess, it was probably that lingering feeling in inadequacy that she kept fed and silent most of the time. Visiting Varric hadn't really soothed that beast. His injury had brought forward all the shit that went wrong in Nevarra. The choices she made. The loss of life. Inevitable consequences and fallout. These people, so talented and worthy, didn't deserve someone who couldn't protect a team.

And when this was over? What was to become of them? They'd continue their lives and close the book on this part. It would become a mere talking point at parties. She would become a character in a story they repeated to children around a camp fire.

A few heads looked up when the dining room chair scraped against the flagstone. The sudden announcement of her movement was anomalous but she couldn't be bothered right now. Not with the thoughts that circled and tightened themselves like the threading of a bolt.

"Darling? Is everything alright?" Emmrich glanced up from the small book he had been reading while the others played their game. He had been keeping them company after dinner, electing to put his current research on hold for the evening.

Harding also watched, only half paying attention to the game. She was the only one who had witnessed this kind of behavior from Veryl before. Once. Back in the early days. Pacing their room at a tavern like a caged animal.

Veryl had gotten into an unprovoked fight that night. It wasn't her greatest moment.

But then, which of them were?

"Rook?" Emmrich asked more specifically this time, leaning to catch her attention from where it focused on the table between them.

Veryl watched briefly as his posture adjusted to bring more of his focus to her, turning his body, closing his book before marking the place, a frown starting to form between his eyebrows.

And she left.

She was out the kitchen door within seconds. Her few long strides were quick and silent. No one would really notice she hadn't vacated the premises,

Though Emmrich would come looking for her, that much she had ensured.

Did she want to be found? How difficult did she want to make the journey for him? All options weighed evenly, should could always hop through the Eluvian and go for a jog in the forest. A brisk walk in the snow could help clear her head. Even basking in the actual sunlight on the beach would probably soothe the aching that was taking up residence in her skull.

She ended up on the floor in front of the fish in her room. Head between her knees. Too aware of the way the frame of the chaise bit into her spine. The sofa had shifted when she had more or less collapsed against it, moving it off the ornate rug and exposing a sliver of the flooring below. She felt the cold of the stone seep through her bones.

Breathing, though accustom to losing it, or holding it, or reserving it, became a rare commodity. She tried hard to regulate the greedy gasps she made, feeling embarrassed by her own noise in the quiet room. Everything was out of her control it seemed.

She could do nothing about the hand that was currently cinching like a tourniquet around her thigh. The tightening came as a ache and then a throb, accompanying a cramp in her fingers and joints as her grip refused to loosen.

The pain was grounding and Veryl finally realized the big fat tears that dripped from her face were real. She felt her face contort in unrestrained emotion.

She barely noticed the rustling of clothes as another body was pulling her in tight. A hand eased over her locked one, wedging between its grip on her leg and prying it away. She didn't try to ease up either, switching crushing the hand that reached for it.

In a crushing sweep the pressure finally started ease but for as long as she wailed and sobbed openly. She was too far gone for the action to feel awkward, instead she only felt increments of relief. The other person tucked her in more closely with each body wracking shudder that she gave into.

At some point she blacked out, either from lack of oxygen or just simply because of the turmoil she gave into. The weight of it finally claiming her and pulling her into the deep. She was relieved to come awake peacefully, instead of jarring herself into consciousness in order to escape the nightmares.

A cold touch. A familiar scent that so often reminded her of home. A vibration of bones that drew the line between the dead and the living. She snuggled a little closer to the warmth that cradled her. There was shifting to accommodate, and something moved down her back.

Her eyelids lifted slowly revealing clothing and then skin. She was tucked into Emmrich's chest, his hair tickled at her nose. She felt how her body outlined his, both stretched out across that pitifully small green sofa. Her legs tangled with his, a s measure to keep her from slipping off, she was sure. And a roving hand ran circuts up and down her spine, fingers paused to press along her vertebrae sometimes.

Her own hands were close to her face, bent at the joint and tucked under her chin. Emmrich's other arm acted as a cushion for her head. She felt his muscle bending and flexing. He was probably trying to keep it from falling asleep too.

"Emm-" she started, though her mouth was dry and her voice got caught along her vocal chords. She sniffed and tried clearing her throat.

"If you start with an apology, I'm afraid this may be a very different kind of discussion." There was warning in his voice, but there was concern too. Veryl closed her mouth and swallowed the decidedly polix remorse she had planned on relating, her throat still sticky.

He sighed, a deep thing that expanded his chest in front of her. She felt an unbidden blush start to creep up at the sight. It was only made worse when his free roving hand reached down to gently lift her chin, forcing her to look at him.

When he was satisfied with her obedience, keeping her eyes locked with his own, he transition from her face to her hair. Long fingers gently tucked it back and away, some pieces having been stuck to her cheek with salty moisture.

"Are you alright?" He asked, so very delicately. She didn't so much hear his voice as she felt it. His low timbre resonated when he spoke, a soothing reverberation. Any hint of reproach was gone, his face was all concern and care. A small frown hinted along his mouth.

She tried again to clear her throat, and provide some semblance of clear communication. "I'm… alright." It came out as several high pitched eeks, a scraping that generally sounded like words.

She gave him a small smile. He returned it though it didn't really change his countenace. His hand moved again to cup against her cheek and on instinct she pushed into it and closed her eyes.

"I cannot tell you what to do, my darling." He said, words barely there between them. "Goodness knows I could never wield such power with someone as willful as you. But I fear I must implore you anyway."

Veryl blinked up at him when he paused, waiting for what he would say, what he would ask of her. She tried not to think of the futility he felt in his request. That he thought so little of asking something of her. As though he felt he had no sway over her, when truly, it was quite the opposite.

She would do anything he asked, fight any foe he pointed her at, go anywhere he desired her to exist. He could merely say the word and she would. If he didn't know that, she would rectify such a sad misunderstanding as soon as she regained her voice.

"Please tell me when something is wrong." He kept her stare as it widened. Ah, the one thing she could not do. "Do not let your fear keep you from allowing me to stand with you. I am more than capable of holding you together when you yourself cannot."

What could she say to relieve him of the obvious stress this predicament caused? The frown on his face had deepened and she had lost his eyes as they had dipped away growing less confident with each word.

She reached her own hand up to mirror his. Gently cupping his cheek she ran a thumb along his high cheekbone, marveling at the way he melted at her touch.

"Things are always wrong." She spoke quietly and his eyes closed. His eyebrows drew together seemingly in pain, as he inhaled deeply near her wrist. The kisses landed softly against her palm.

"There will never be a time when things are not wrong. Would you have me come to you for every small thing? Every miniscule complaint?" For as long as they endeavored to stop the world from collapsing, there would be no peace. Surely he would not ask her to burden him with her displeasure.

"I would have you tell me absolutely everything down to if you stubbed your littlest toe." He spoke into her hand as his own held her to his face, brazenly he breathed her in. His eyes were back on hers, dark and unwavering. Some sort of heat was growing in them, making Veryl aware of that blush from earlier, bringing it roaring back to life.

"There is nothing so great that I cannot handle. Even if there was, it could not be something we would not face together." He closed the few centimeters of space between them. He transferred from kissing her hand to kissing along her cheekbones. Veryl closed her eyes and her chest felt light as she let a long sigh empty her lungs.

"My darling, let me convince you of my devotion." A whisper in her ear that sent a tingle down her spine. "You have posessed the very essence of my being and I exist wholly at your leisure.

He caressed the shell of her ear with his lips and anointed her with a small noise that made her whole body shiver. Only then did she become aware of how their legs still tangled, sensitive parts brushing nearer to each other with each shift of position.

Veryl slowly reached to wrap her arms around his neck. Her fingers let the way, eventually finding themselves sunk into his hair, massaging and pulling. It wasn't long before Emmrich's wayward kisses along her jaw reached her lips. She sank into the oblivion he encouraged, opening up for him and meeting his tongue stroke for stroke. Her breathing became erratic again, the indication of losing control.

She broke away briefly to catch up, the sensation feeling too familiar to earlier in the day. Emmrich kept up his offensive, dragging kisses along her neck, and skin he could access.

"Let me do this for you, darling." Emmrich whispered the words against her skin. He bit once, causing her to wince. A quick, soothing lick followed and Veryl shuddered. "Give yourself over to me. Let me take care of you. Let me be the one to worry."

She felt him everywhere. How his arms surround her, his hands holding fast to her ribs. The way his tongue traveled along her collar bone and her nose buried into his hair. How many points of connection did their bodies bare? Forty? Fifty?

She craved him. She had from the start, from that very first kiss. There was never any denying that. But she was unwilling to give up that control, that safety she put in place. That ultimate vulnerability. It would never be just sex with him, it would always be a meeting of two souls that could never be extricated from each other.

She was the one who sought him out this time, her kiss certain as she slid her tongue along his. Her hands shifted to grip his hips, pulling until he rolled them over. He hovered above her, caging her in there on the chaise. He broke away for a moment, to watch her, to look for answers to the question he had yet to ask.

His hand revisited her cheek, "Are you sure? I feel as though we should talk about what happened before…"

Veryl smiled, a small thing with a few teeth, a genuine display of contentedness. She shook her head.

"Help me forget, my love. That the world is ending. Take it away." It was all the permission he needed.

Under his care and ministrations, Veryl handed her entire being over to him. Worries drifted away with the whisper of pleasured sighs.

Here is the other Thursday Banger Prompt I posted, one more to go! Well, till tomorrow.

Trivia for your time: Honey never spoils. It can remain edible indefinitely if stored correctly, truly natures candy.

[tw1l1te]

blueberry₊˚✩⊹sal fisher x reader₊˚✩⊹

(Not edited, so please forgive men if there are grammatical/spelling errors. Random thought I came up with. Please let me know if you'd like more backstory/a continuation of this!

Sitting on top of Addison Apartments was a place to think. A place of silence except the sounds of breathing and the occasional shuffling around. You haven't been up here in a while, since the fight you and Sal had a few months ago.

₊˚✩⊹

"God you're such a hypocrite. You keep telling others to take care of themselves and not isolate, but yet you don't give two shits and don't even take your own advice. Not answering your phone or leaving your apartment for over two months? Do you know how worried Ash was? How heartbroken and distant Larry became?? We thought you were fucking dead Y/n. And after all that you decide to drop by and ask 'what's up'?" Sal seethed, his tone getting more hostile by the second.

You don't think you've ever seen him so angry.

"I'm sorry Sal, I didn't mean to make you all worry. That was the last thing I wanted you guys to feel. You know I don't handle my mental health well," you murmured, avoiding Sal's eyes. You could already feel the tears streaming down your face.

"Listen I get it Y/n, but you can't just cut us off like that. You made us all husks of what we used to be. Do you know how many nights I stayed up till the early morning just staring at my phone, hoping you'd at least call?? I couldn't even remember what you sounded like until today."

"Bluebe-"

"Don't call me that. You have no right calling me that after the months of heartbreak and worry you've caused us. Every time this happens, I get my hopes up in that you won't shut us out and disappear. I get disappointed every. Single. Time. You're lucky that Larry, Ash, and Todd are such forgiving people. You don't deserve them."

You mulled over his words. He was right. You didn't deserve them. All the affection and love that they gave you all for you to throw it down the drain when you got too ill. The hundreds of phone calls from Ash. The constant check-ins from Larry over the walkie-talkie, talking about stupid shit that happened that day or speaking softly about how much he missed you. Todd emailing you every few days asking how you were holding up and if you needed anything, but eventually those emails automatically went to spam. And Sal. Sal was probably the hardest to avoid.

He sat outside your apartment door for hours, talking, pleading you to let him in to talk. He brought snacks and slid them under the door, worried if you were eating enough. Playing his guitar for you through the walkie-talkie, hoping it would soothe you or cheer you up. Sliding random doodles and letters under the door so you had something to help remind you about how much they cared about you. How much he cared for you. You kept them all under the bed in a shoe box, reading over every word and cat doodle every single night.

"I can't do this again, Y/n. You've hurt me over and over and over again. Each time I expected it to end different."

He took a pause, waiting for a reaction or a word from you.

"We're done. I don't know about the others, but don't bother writing or talking to me. I can't do this anymore."

And with that, he headed downstairs, not sparing you a single glance back.

₊˚✩⊹

You snapped out of your thoughts when you heard the rooftop door creak open.

You don't look back, hoping the person would get a hint and leave.

You hear the footsteps get closer, and stopping right beside you.

"Didn't think you came up here anymore." he mumbled, shifting uncomfortably.

Fuck. He was probably the last person you wanted to see right now.

"I come here to think." you stated, looking out to the street and nearby houses.

"Y/n, I'm sor-" "I'm leaving." you cut him off, already knowing what he was going to say.

You've thought about your time in Nockfell and decided that it was time for you to move on. You couldn't be stuck in a time capsule forever. The more time had passed, the more it had started to hurt being here and see reminders of what had happened. Reminders of him.

"What?" he whispered, finally looking at you.

"I need to move on. I can't be here anymore." you stated, trying to keep your voice level.

"You were right, I can't keep leaving people in the dark and constantly worrying them. I'll keep doing that if I stay here. I need to be somewhere else, I don't know where, but I'll figure it out."

"Y/n. If this is about what I said, I'm sorry, I was in a bad state too. I was just so worried that something had happened-"

"Sal, please stop. I'm not changing my mind. I'm leaving tomorrow morning-"

"What about Ash? Larry and Todd? What about me?? I need you here. It was wrong of me to shut you out, to ignore you. I'm so sorry, Y/n."

You finally looked at him, right into his blue eyes.

His hair had gotten longer, choppier, like he'd tried to cut it himself. No longer in the pigtails you loved. Seems like you'd both changed.

"I need to go, Sal."

You walk away, not looking back because if you did, you wouldn't be able to leave. You wouldn't be able to leave them. Leave Nockfell. Leave him.

"I'll see you around, Blueberry."

₊˚✩⊹

[thebearme]

May I take a look at your Adachi design? Also some head-cannons about him.

My design of him hasn't changed from my original idea but here he is colored

7/2/25 I edited the eyes (image on the right)

He's a disgusting bastard inside and later shows and out. I now have the idea that he keeps his eyes closed to look friendly looking but he later opens his eyes in his battle with him revealing how bloodshot they are.

Now I don't really have many hc for him, even though he's been my favorite villains since middle school. The most I had is that he trolls Yu by saying he's gonna get with Dojima and the investigation team hated him (the funniest one being Teddie because he's literally just hating because everyone else is).

If I were to come up with some new headcanons I feel like I have to replay the game over to get an idea. But even then I would need some inspo from the fandom and I REALLY DONT WANT TO LOOK AT THE ADACHI FANDOM! The last time I checked they like him a lil TOO much.

I like him in the way of dissecting him and his past that lead him to his point in life, hes not "my lil guy"

so sorry i don't got anything

But I do have a little analysis? talk of Adachi + p4 & p5 spoilers

He's a villain that I liked to dissect but never ... humanize? It's not the right word but idk what else to use to describe it. In middle school to high school I loved Adachi and HATED Akechi because it felt like the story was really trying to make us feel bad for him "boo hoo poor baby, doesn't it make you want to forgive him?" Like- NO!? He killed multiple people and us and is ACTIVELY trying to kill us, why would I forgive him just because the story says so??

So going from p5 to p4g I LOVED that cabbage man because all tho he gives his story and stuff he KNOWS he's a piece of shit and he goes to jail for it too. Never did I feel like the story was trying to redeem him and I love it for that. It also doesn't help that I GENUINELY like him before the reveal and was got swept up in emotions of "i can't believe he's the killer" "we trusted him" "why would he do this" as if I was Narukami himself. We got tricked, felt betrayed and Adachi revels in it because we were the dumbass kid that believed in him because we as humans naturally project our thoughts and beliefs on mystery things. I thought he was some underdog! Maybe it's because I was in middle school when watching a playthrough so I was naturally going to believe in the act but it got me.

And THATS the interesting thing, Adachi got me but not Akechi. And I watched my sister play p5 before even hearing about p4. I immediately despite him being how savvy he acted and the fact that Ryuji didn't like him FUCKIN VALIDATED my opinion on him. Then later The SAD backstory came in and it made my eyes roll, Like ya buddy I don't have a dad either but that doesn't mean you're seeing me on the news catching bodies bro! It just felt off

But for some reason Adachi's whole stick didn't feel like the story is trying to have you put pity on him. That backstory is just to understand his mind but not to justify it, and I like that. It feels like they trust us to have media literacy and although mines wasn't great at 14 it still felt better to have the opportunity to feel what you feel and not have the story crammed down a contradicting message and seeing the fandom eat it up.

btw I no longer hate Akechi and I understand the shuake but it aint for me, it's easier and funnier to bully the pancake boy.

The one thing I wish changed was the thing that Dojima goes through in the Adachi story mode in area ultimate. I understand he was ur police partner bro but truly what the hell is the visit for? THAT felt sooo wrong I couldn't even play it for laughs when I saw it. Someone make a oc or selfship for Dojima please, this man has too much time on his hands.

Dear god I hope the p4 remake doesn't have everyone forgive Adachi or something just let him rot in jail please.

[chunniwritesalot]

home - nh27

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! welcome to my 3rd haas related fanfic 😍😍 i think i should be named the nh27 queen by the amount of ff i'm writing about him (not that im complaining... i want to eat this guy...) if you dont follow me, or check my rambles (go follow me PLEASE... im a desperate gal) you wouldn't know that im going to vacation so i wanted to write something super quick before i left. when i get back- TRUST an smau WILL be made, probably for nico because this man is so beautiful 🤗😋 the writing on this is super rushed but i've been out of practice (uni is starting soon PLEASE SEND HELP) because i major in english and BRO i write so many essays that when i get to break i just stop writing all together. my creative writing is SAUR shit because all i write are analysis's and shit like that BUTTTTT im taking a lot of creative writing courses this year (2) so watch out because i might become Shakespeare cw: sad, cursing, you have a son but your gender isn't included, mentions of crashing (obviously, its about the monaco grand prix), mentions of hate, banner is mine but photos aren't, use of yn, bad writing style

other: y/s/n means your son's name! I DIDN'T EDIT THIS SHIT SORRY FOR GRAMMAR OR SPELLING MISTAKES. MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN IM BEGGING YOU REQUEST wc: 682

you didn't watch f1 races because of your love for the sport. in reality, you hated the sport. the loudness, the chaos, the danger. you thought that maybe nico would've finally listened to you, he would retire and you two could finally live... peacefully, that you could live your life not fearing the fact that the love of your life could quite literally die almost every week. you watched those stupid fucking races because nico was your husband, and you would never forgive yourself if you weren't watching and something unspeakable happened. so nico promised you that he would always come home to you, and he would never break that promise.

sometimes you wished you never got involved in this stupid sport, because then maybe you wouldn't find yourself sitting in the haas garage with your 3 year old being restrained in your grip as you watch the screen. everything going in slow motion as the two haas cars and the redbull collide in with eachother. was it bad to say you hoped most of the damage went to kevin or checo? you didn't care, f1 made everyone a bad person. you were sure louise, who was glued right next to you, thought the same thing- that most of the damage went to nico or checo. "shit" you muttered, your son looking up at you. he was too young to know what was happening, but you could tell he was worried.

"its okay love, just an accident." you whispered to him, he wriggled out of your grip to go run around the garage. not that you cared, right now, you were focused on nico and lord, were you fucking mad. mad that he broke his promise to you, mad that he never listened, mad at this fucking sport. you hated nico for this, hated that he sacrificed his entire life to this sport, when he knew that he had a 3-year-old son. when he knew you were waiting for him, and you would never forgive him if he didn't come back. you sat there, arms crossed as nico made his way back to the haas area after getting checked with the medics. you watched as he approached you, a flash of guilt on his face. louise seemed to get the message because she quickly got up from the seat next to you and made her way over to the children as she waited for her own husband. "y/n, i'm sorry." nico cracked out quietly, reaching out his hand to take yours. he grimaced when you snapped your hand away and stiffened at his words. "what if you died?" you spat out, "god nico, i-" tears burned in your eyes, "i hate you." nico watched as you stormed to the bathroom, not bothering to follow you. he knew you needed time to cool off. after a while, you came back, sitting next to your husband again. "even y/s/n was fucking worried." you whispered to him, "nico, you-." nico stayed silent, his gaze never tearing from the TV infront of them, he nodded slowly. "i was thinking about you the entire time." he started, "and i'm *sorry*, i'm so fucking sorry." he slowly turned to you, "i-i would never forgive myself if something happened to me, love. i-" he stopped, reaching out to wipe your tears, "i'm... i know you hate this sport, but- its my..." you shook your head, motioning for him to stop. sure, you hated this sport, but you didn't hate nico. you loved nico, and loving him meant you would always be there with him. even if that meant you had to watch all his stupid grands prix. because as much as you knew nico loved his sport, he loved you more, and nico promised he would always come home to you and y/s/n.

"i..i don't hate you" you said back gently, "i'm sorry." nico cracked a smile, "i know, my love. don't be sorry." he reached out again, and this time? you didn't pull away, because nico kept his promise. he was always going to come home to you.

[emberunderscore]

guys im going crazy with the edits over here (im sure this has been done with this song before but idc i wanted to)

also guys im going to include the rambling in the actual edit post this time because i actually cannot contain myself . (i went on and on for this one i had a lot of thoughts )

OK BIG ONE COOL ONE WHEN IT SAYS "I'm a worthless human being" there is an overlay during the word "worthless" of the prison scene and the word worthless is layed over sherbert's forehead, think of it like the word worthless and failure going hand in hand because icarus doesn't belive they are worth anything if they are not useful and they cannot be useful if theyre a failure which they wholeheartedly believe they are THATS IT THATS MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS EDIT (not really but shshshshs)

ok back to being in order

"I had left you" and "I forgave you" being right next to each other is SO PERFECT because that part is referencing the cave obviously and immediately after centross dies icarus is like 'get the fuck away from me why did you do that, holy shit you were gonna kill me' and then he tells them he can bring centross back and they immediately forgive him (and its not rlly great editing wise cause obviously theres not much contrast between the clips but the sacrifices we make are very small)

"I forgot you" this line is kinda hard to understand how ive coded it cause centross is on the screen so it kinda makes it seems like im saying they forgot centross but NO! they forgot about fable, they were so focused on bringing centross back that they completely lost sight of fable and his actions and how that hurt everyone around them

then the "said you loved me" I LOVE PUTTING VOICELINES IN EDITS CHAT. I LOVE IT SO MUCH AHHHH. i love when the words and they go together and theyre similar and i go crazy . im knawing at the bars of my enclosure

(i was going to put a voicline of fable's 'you will not survive' from cathedral of war in this part, but only chose not too cause it made the audio too chaotic but its still the clip from when he said that so just KNOW) i really love the "said you'd kill me" part. it just looks really cool to me, please appreciate my work thank you goodnight <3

THE WHOLE NEXT PART. THE BEAT DROP IF YOU WILL.

the text is all shaky, the way ive always imagined this part of the song in my brain is like full mental breakdown, hands pulling at hair hitting at your head . theres something inside of you and you want it OUT and you will hurt yourself to makes that happen . so thats kind of the vibe i wanted to portray, however . im not that skilled and capcut only has so many free text effects so . we make do. i also couldn't put that effect on all the text because for it to look right i couldn't use an 'in' animation for the text so having all of it just appear looked kind of weird so i had to comprimise a little

also the font is called "honest" which . if you know me i love putting subliminal messaging in my font usage when i can which i managed to do a couple times in this edit actually. the font is very jagged which fits for the idea of someone who's reaching their breaking point and all the rotation and bold and italics are all just thrown around there. making em all look interesting . for *flavour*

the other font that's got a cool title and this one i actually only picked because of the title and that's "innocent" its used in a lot of frames like "you possessed me", "you controlled me" and "or he'll hurt me" all times, the word 'me' uses the innocent font, because with the song it sounds like icarus is trying to remove any of the blame from themself, it was fable's fault because he manipulated me i didn't do anything wrong. so they see themself as 'innocent' which is also why that text is yellow cause its about icarus. i wouldn't have used that font if not for the title icl. but it also makes the times when that font isn't used all the more interesting, this can be seen most notably in "said you'd kill me", and both of the times in the "he's still speaking, speaking for me" parts , and i will let you cook on that cause not everything needs to be explained in great detail as much as id like to do that

most of the fonts at this one were just me throwing shit at a wall and seeing what fit the vibe ill be so fr, i knew i wanted a lot of variation cause its a chaotic sounding song and the colours also have very little thought when it comes to the difference between white/yellow/red for the most part . green is for fable and purple is just whatever the fuck i felt like .

final thing i'm going to say when it goes "i'm a [worthless human being" there is no text on that part and i just want it to be known on the record that it wasn't an accident and it was an aethetic choice and i can't come up with a bullshit important reason for why there's no text on the screen for that SINGLE PART and honestly it just looked so shit with text there but it also looks so out of place with it being the only part but im sure many of you didn't even notice there wasnt text there before i pointed it out so . i can also point out all the slightly off timings for you if you wanna see my creation through my critical self-loathing eyes /silly

[alice1505]

I made the mistake of rewatching Sherlock because I never did finish it back in the day (I was -clenches fist- seething over the queerbaiting and rage quit after not fully watching episode 1 of s4) and I'm here to make my side hyperfixation (what year is this??? Who am I???) Tumblr's problem. The more I sit with s4, the less I like it 😂 There were pieces and elements I liked, but overall, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Forgive me if any or all if these points have been talked to death, I missed all the discourse and I'm hella late, but I need to flail and send my thoughts into the void because what even WAS that season? I can't believe I avoided it for years, got drawn in by a couple of tiktoks making fun (affectionately) of superwholock Era and That Scene about the fucking phone charger port, binged all of it, only to be left with..... that. Not nearly as disappointing or rage inducing as spn's ending but by God, did it leave a hole in me. So please ignore my rambling thoughts as I slap them down here for my own sanity.

• First and foremost, what - and I can't stress this enough - the fuck was UP with the assassination of John's entire character???? What was that??? Why????

• Related to that point - I can appreciate the angst point and potential it provides, as I'm reading many, many fics, but AYO WHY didn't anyone rip John an entire new one for that beat down he did on Sherlock????? Hello???? 911?????

• Tell me why everything felt so stilted and borderline icy. Like I get the high emotions and shit, but after a certain point... 😭 was there a falling out between Benedict and Martin that I'm not aware of? Did they just try to ungay everything so hard and were so pissed at the audience picking up everything THAT THEY PUT???? into this show and their interactions that they just hit the brakes hard enough to make everything feel weird???

• A lot of it felt weird. Off kilter a little. Forced in some places, toned down in others (and toned down where it shouldn't have been), a nod to ships but weirdly/hatefully??? Idk if that makes sense. Like the whole Sherlock and Molly phone call (I do not mean any hate to this ship, I really hope it doesn't come off this way. Not my cup of tea but you are valid). Why was Molly so upset BEFORE the call? Did I miss something? Also I don't personally think or feel she'd still have those feelings for him??? I??? I am bamboozled.

• to that whole point, Eurus was.... Hmm. Mmmm. She was. Something. (Confused derogatory)

• I like Mary as a character. I also hated her. (Definitely biased by my shipper trash ass self for johnlock, I'm sorry). Wtf were those messages, please. Edit: AND ANOTHER THING. John's reaction to Sherlock's death - awful, gut wrenching, beautiful, my heart breaks with and for him, utterly devasting. John's reaction to Mary's death - had me sitting there like🧍‍♀️(it was weird. so weird. awkward. w h y. (we know why, but also the acting choices were Something TM, in both cases! for different reasons!) i'm sorry i just can't get past my anger and put off-ness with mary, fun as she could be)

• why did mycroft and John switch roles 😭 pls. The last episode was just. So Much. The lackluster responses from John, to John, to Sherlock, between them, like.... hello???? Who are these people?? Help me. Moriarty saved me for a brief shining moment tho, God bless.

There's more I could spew, but that's what's sitting right at the top of my head. I guess all this just to say, if a show runner/writer really just fucking hates the audience they got (instead of the one they wanted), they probably shouldn't have fucking become a show runner/writer in the first place. Either hand it to someone who can actually handle it and listens, or fuck off. I will never understand when shows and plots and characters gets kamikaze'd because of a show runner being pissy and egotistical. Like ????? Grow up. Learn from Bryan Fuller and Hannibal or something.

Sorry for all the rambling, bless anyone who reads this and makes sense of it 😂

[the-old-boneyard]

Trans Artists Beware

there are a couple of people who truly hurt me and my spouse. One of these people is my former (ex communicated from my trans partner and I due to abuse) sister in law (iwritesometimes) who is constantly online begging for trans porn as a cis woman, which makes me really uncomfortable. The other is her cis girlfriend who called my trans spouse a pathological liar despite never speaking to or meeting my spouse. She just made a random public post on Twitter one day a few years back talking about my trans partner being a liar because iwritesometimes was called a "know-it-all" during a private family dinner for being extremely condescending about how Gruyere needed to be pronounced more Frenchly). So when my spouse was upset about being publicly humiliated by a stranger (@northstarfan / heartsib) - this of course led to distancing and disconnecting from their family and these people, fortunately. Likely forever and as a transgender person this has been EXTREMELY difficult as the rest of their family clings to iwritesometimes and has effectively forgotten my spouse exists. Something iwritesometimes likely relishes in, now. I hate that they both have transgender support related keywords on their profiles because they knowingly hurt trans people and don't care.

Unfortunately, I've noticed a disturbing pattern in the behaviors of these people. See, i grew up in an incredibly abusive home. I have chronic PTSD and I suffer from BPD, ADHD, autism... so I can't really recognize all the time when I'm reacting fairly to something.

However, my partner has been completely abandoned by their family - and we're pretty thankful for that. But I wanted to mention these people because I've noticed some very disturbing patterns from them and I wanna set some shit straight.

If you are an artist, especially trans, please do not placate their desires to fetishize trans bodies for their own amusement and exploitative purposes.

If you're an artist, do NOT allow either of them for convince you to draw underaged characters. This is sexual harassment FROM them for being disrespectful about it but Ive noticed they're very passionate about these things.

Frankly, I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them. And while Northstarfan dragged my partner online, doing what cis people like to do and just call a trans person untrustworthy or a liar, I only now say anything about Northstarfan's character that I've observed after the past few years of feeling intense fury.

I don't know how you both sleep at night, I already asked iwritesometimes but she blocked me like the coward she is, too. But I have no intention of hearing any apologies once we're all that's left of any family that isn't hyper conservative. You showed your narcissistic hind ends one too many times. Then again you both like to publicly talk trash about your siblings and families and then you probably talk about each other, too.

I forgive you because frankly I don't care about either one of you losers. My partner forgot about both of you long ago. I only didn't because I have been secretly angry this entire time because right after you attacked my partner I saw you both frothing at the mouth over trans porn and it made me sick. I know @Iwritesometimes blocked me after I sent her the one message because she won't admit what she did but I'll gladly just post this and leave it up for an eternity. Thanks.

Fuck both of you. The suicide attempt rate for trans people is 41% and you're both so selfish you'd rather just beg and beg and beg and beg people to draw porn of our bodies for your pleasure and you do nothing else to support anyone but yourselves. Get offline and touch a blade of grass.

Edit: tagging since I want you to see and I'm not a coward <3 like you

[spillthetearp]

Im getting linked from different people about what is going on here, I'm just gonna say this and put it to rest (hopefully) on my end.

Cherry, I know you're here. It sucks to say this to you, especially in a fucking Tea blog of all places, but it needs to be said. I don't know, nor do I wanna know who shared my personal [yes, I know linked to my PRIVATE discord bio that I forgot was even there, but has been there since way before I met you. I used it to play video games with my friends back home.] Anyway, I tend to ramble... excuse that if that happens a lot here, but I'm sure you read my statement on what happened? I'm sure someone told you it, you guys picked it apart after all. BUT as stated in there, you guys brought it upon yourselves to scroll all the way to a time when with election was around. SINCE then, I educated myself, I admitted my faults, and I know what I believed was wrong or even though was the slightest bit of right. I can't apologize enough for viewing that way. But that is not me to spread hate, even back then, I never attacked anyone for being a certain party, I've known you for a while, long while now.

Can you say I do everything you accused me of? Do I come at people in a racist/phobe type of way? Have I ever made anyone uncomfortable? Instead, you and your friends did, so harshly, I lost a lot of good friends because of what you guys did, [now I saw their true colors and abandoned ship without questioning, so thank you I guess?] for what reason? I heard you wanted me out of whiskey and did whatever to make it happen; you could've told me, and I would have dropped without any drama. But to go fishing[for a years almost worth of scrolling and I repost a lot on TIKTOK.] for a reason like that and have your friend expose my RL account when YOU said it was to remain between us and private.

I trusted you and everyone, despite what anyone has told me. I have given you the benefit of the doubt, and you did exactly to me what you and your friends did to everyone else. THAT HURT. I trust a lot when I shouldn't. You preached positivity, equality, and all this shit that you do not follow. My heart breaks because I really thought we had a friendship... I didn't participate in events until my first Whiskey Bomb. You guys broke me out of my shell, learning new editing styles, it even inspired me to do my ALTEREGO tour, which was a hit, you guys got me writing with people from different parts, now? I'm back to keeping to myself, I cannot trust anyone who comes to me expressing support, I don't know if they're toying with me.

Was it because I was friends with MARS? In your server, you said yourself you don't care who we associate with.. Funny thing is she is the most loyal, selfless person. Towards me that is - She's never left my side and people whom I thought were my friends -- Left and bad mouthed me without a word to ask if anything was true... BUT if she's made any mistakes those are hers, but I will tell you if she has any she's making up for it and doing the right thing, Without her, my wp, and my roleplay best friend of 2 years I would've let you guys win and left.

I want to hate you... I should, but I can't help but forgive you for this. You ruined my world here that I finally got comfortable with after years of writing LISA just to get back to square one... Please own your faults as I've owned mine, I wish you had given me a chance to explain myself, maybe all this could've been prevented.. There has to be some good inside you... I know you and your friends are probably gonna drag this too, but I'm sick of this -- I just want to muse but I can't... I came to write and escape the hell of the world...

I'm gonna end this here. No, I'm not going, Annon, I have nothing to hide from you. -LISA

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