#I didn’t realize how hard the hiatus was on me

[seizethatlit]

Getting emotional bc Dan and Phil are so back 😭🥹

[slutofpsh]

f1 racer | psh

part two

pairings: park sunghoon

synopsis: f1 racer park sunghoon is the ace of their team until he got into a terrible accident causing of his sudden hiatus. the incident injured his shoulder and affected his mental health. you are hired by his mother to help him get through this tough times as you are one of the best psychiatrist in town. he hated the idea of being vulnerable so instinctively, he hates you. he hates how you try to get into his head for him to open up and he hates his parents for meddling with his life like he’s a kid. but he couldn’t deny that you are exceptionally beautiful and he can’t help his cock from twitching just by imagining pushing you down on your office table, fucking you deep and hard until you can’t think straight anymore.

wc: 15k

warnings: mdni. smut with slight plot, lots of dirty talking, degrading, corruption kink, p into v raw (please always use protection), dom sunghoon, slight rough sex, reader experiencing sexual harassment. IF YOU DON’T LIKE ANY OF THIS PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SCROLL AWAY.

note: i have no right and enough knowledge with medical terms so disregard my claims as it came from my imagination to fit my plot. i’m new with writing smuts so please don’t give rude comments. i am still learning. also please send me asks and reblog my work. it will help a lot. thank you so much!

slutofpsh 2024 © all rights reserved.

After how Sunghoon dismissed you, you didn’t expect him to reach out first. You can still remember the bitter feeling that poisoned your whole system while you’re taking a bath that day. The pain between your legs was incomparable from how your heart was aching that time.

His cold tone and how he asked you to leave right after kept flashing back to your mind. It was such an awful experience. A part of you gets pissed at him for acting like a jerk after taking your v card, but you also know that maybe you caught him off-guard as well. Besides, it was your decision to give yourself to him that day.

It’s honestly making you feel frustrated. Were you crossing the line when you suddenly asked that question? Now you are certain that his ex-girlfriend has something to do with it. Your chest tightens just by thinking about it. He’s still very affected by her. There’s a big possibility that he still have feelings for her.

You threw your head back and stared at your ceiling. This isn’t how it suppose to be. You should be focusing on your work and not worrying about an F1 racer who probably don’t give a care about you.

The wall clock caught your eye and suddenly realized that it will soon be his session for today. Since its wednesday, he will be the one coming at your office. It makes you hopeful and you’re already rehearsing what to tell him the moment he walks in.

You wanted to apologize for suddenly dropping that question out of nowhere without even considering if he’s mentally prepared for it.

Your thoughts are interrupted when your phone chimed.

Sunghoon: I won’t be coming today.

Oh.

Your mind went blank right after receiving that message. All the words you tried to compose and prepare the moment you come face to face with him became useless. You can’t help but to feel a little disappointed and upset about it. He’s obviously trying to avoid you and it hurts just by thinking about it.

The amount of efforts and time you exerted just to be close with him seems to be put into waste when he’s pushing you away like this.

Was it really about the professional reason why you’re hurting? Or was it your heart cracking because of him? Eitherway, you don’t like the feeling of it.

Since Sunghoon is the last patient scheduled for today, you informed your secretary that he’s not coming. Although a little confused, she asked if you need something else or if there’s any patients left that you’re expecting to arrive.

You told her that she can wrap up and go home early today as that’s what you’re about to do. This thing going on between you and the f1 racer sure is draining all of you. You just want to be inside a bathtub, soaked in hot water and having a bottle of wine.

Yeah, that’s right. That could totally help with your mood.

A knock from your office door snapped you back to reality. It slowly opened revealing Hana whose now flashing you a small smile. It didn’t slipped from your friend how you’ve been gloomy these days. She took notice how you’re not mentioning the famous f1 racer as well, assuming that he has something to do with your foul mood.

“Hi,” she greets and you tried so hard to flash her a smile.

“Hello. I thought your sessions are done already? What are you doing here?”

She pursed her lips and walked inside. “I was thinking if you’d want to spend time with me? Your secretary said you’re out early today.”

Your eyes almost watered because of what she said. Hana completely understands you despite your resistance of oversharing informations regarding Park Sunghoon. She understands how you're always been a little private with your personal life.

As a friend, all she can do for you is accompany you whenever you need someone to be there by your side.

The two of you planned to stay in her expensive crib that she’s very proud of. Actually, you really like her apartment since its very pretty and cozy. There’s some vibes in it that you cannot explain.

After stopping to get some snacks, you head over her place. She was continuously talking about this one hot client of her. Obviously, she likes him but gets defensive that she just really finds him hot.

“So...” your head snaps at her direction when she suddenly halt her words like as if she’s waiting for you to look.

You got lost in time and have no idea for how long have you two been sitting outside her balcony talking about random things.

“Hmm?” you hummed, asking her what she wants to say.

She bit her lower lip, contemplating whether to go for it or stop being nosy. After ending the debate with her inner self, she sighs heavily and sets down her glass of wine to fully focus on you.

“What’s up with the F1 racer? He skipped today. That’s new.” she finally dropped the bomb.

You were kind of expecting it, but to actually be asked about it still caught you dumbfounded. You don’t know the exact words to use in order to explain what happened on your last session.

Surely you cannot mention what the director did to you and you’re too embarrassed to tell her he just pop your cherry.

“Maybe he just don’t feel like seeing me today.” the pain in your eyes didn’t slip from her. Hana may not always hear you rant things towards her, but she knew whenever you’re not okay.

She pursed her lips and reaches for your free hand to hold it. “When did he ever feel that way? As far as I remember, Park Sunghoon is totally so into you.” and even winked at you to make you feel better or at least laugh.

“I think I made him mad.” tears fills your eyes to the brim that made her go slightly alarmed.

“Why? What happened?” she gently grabs the glass of wine from you to avoid spilling any of its content.

“I asked him about his ex and after that he started acting cold. Maybe...” your words halt and emotions oozes from your eyes. Hana can see how worried and scared you are by your own thoughts. She felt so bad.

“...maybe he still loves her? What about me, then? What am I to him, Hana?” and tears started to flow out from your eyes, your cries filled his balcony as she tugs you closer to her.

Hana never saw you like this. Crying over something. You always have a strong impression towards her. The type of person who handle things like a boss. Very workaholic and once you set your focus onto something, you will, in no doubt, get it.

And so to see you like this caught her off-guard. She doesn’t know what to do or how to properly comfort you, but of course she tried. She caress your arms as she embraces you, calming you down. She lets you have your moment to let it all out as she assumed you’ve been keeping it in.

“I t-think I fell in love with him, Hana. And I’m so scared because I’ve never felt this way and to think he still loves...” you couldn’t finish your own words as you started crying hard. Hana shakes her head side by side in disapproval, eyes starting to water as well.

“I’m sure he doesn’t love her anymore, y/n. Don’t think it that way, okay?” she cupped your face to make you look at her eyes.

“Just give him time to process his own emotions. He went over through hard times that makes it a little harder for him to decide about things, yeah? Maybe you just caught him off-guard as well.”

Your lips pursed into a pout and realized she had a point. Sunghoon’s going through something. Your priority should be to make him feel better and not confront him about his feelings for you.

You nodded your head and slowly rest your head at her shoulder, cuddling closer. She wraps her arms around your shoulder to pull you closer to her body. She sighs and you felt so much better letting your worries out. Like a big chunk of emotions been lifted off from your chest that made your breathing more stable, your way of thinking became much better as well.

Like what Hana said, you gave him time to settle his own thoughts. Thursday came and you didn’t bothered sending a text message for him as well. You tried hard to divert your attention towards some other things. Thankfully, you’ve managed to do that.

Friday came and you’re very much nervous to go on your day. It was suppose to be your day off from the hospital and Sunghoon’s the only client you have for the day but Hana called you early in the morning.

“Can you please take over my session this morning? It will be just quick I promise! It slipped off from my mind that I have that scheduled today and I already booked my flight to Hawaii.”

Your brows furrowed as you put your coffee to the machine, one hand resting at your hip.

“Hawaii? Suddenly? Why haven’t I heard about this plan?”

Of course you can fill her spot for today. You’ve done it for other people before, there’s no reason for you to decline her offer as well.

She giggles, “I didn’t invite you because I know you won’t come anyway since you’re saving up! This is so sudden too! My mom asked me to tag along their trip and since the director will be out of the country for almost two months, I figured I should go to a vacation as much as I can!”

This time you’re even more intrigued of what you heard. You leaned over the kitchen counter and lift your hand to nibble on your nails.

“T-The director will be gone for almost two months?” you asked, baffled.

“Yes! Haven’t you heard about it? Anyway, you should get more rest now that he’s not around! I know how much you want to earn more, but please have some fun as well. We’ll plan a trip for the two of us once I’m back!” she kept going on that slowly became muffled by your own thoughts.

The amount of relief that dawned you after hearing the news of the director being not around was being overwhelming for you. To think that you don’t have to feel anxious of bumping over that monster relieved you.

“I will buy you something from her as a thank you gift of taking over this client for me!” Hana snapped you back to reality.

You giggled and glanced over the machine when it made a sound, indicating that your coffee is now ready.

“Okay, have fun with your mom.” and then the two of you decided to end the call.

After you get ready for your day, you drove straight to the hospital and met with Hana’s client. Like she said it was just a short consultation and nothing heavy. An hour and a half passes by so fast. Your secretary ringed your intercom to let you know its over.

You guided the client out to the door and tell her she did well for today. She seemed very satisfied with your session and thanked you. A smile is what you responded her before bidding goodbyes with her.

Now, you started preparing yourself to leave and go straight to Sunghoon’s place. Your heart started thumping just by the thought of that man. He didn’t send any messages yet that tells you not to come so you’re somehow hoping he’s expecting to meet you today. I mean, he cannot avoid you forever right?

Eitherway, you already set your mind to go and check him yourself. You wanted to convince yourself that you just want to do your job properly, but you know that you’re doing that fot personal reasons. That you want to come and see him because you missed him so bad.

You heard your office door opens that slightly made you jolt. Thinking it was your secretary, you didn’t bother to look over and check. You just continued fixing your things so you can leave.

“You can leave after I finish here, (name). That’s the only client I’ll be meeting here on the office for today since I will go to the Parks to meet with Mr. Park Sunghoon.” you tried to inform her.

You heard the door closed so you assumed she’s inside. Finding it odd not receiving any responses from her, you decided to turn around to look and you almost drop your car keys at the sight of Park Sunghoon by the door.

He looked so good as usual. His slightly long hair brushed perfectly as he rocks his semi formal attire, one hand inside his pocket. He stares right at your eyes that made your knees instantly weak.

“M-Mr. Park.” you stutter.

He pursed his lips and sighs heavily. He may seem like he’s calm, but Sunghoon’s very nervous right now. He took all of his courage to come here and see you. He knew what he did last time was wrong and he can’t find the will to meet you. Not after treating you that bad. He figured you may hate him now. But damn, he misses you so much. He missed you so bad that he might go crazy if he didn’t come and see you.

He didn’t say anything and started walked towards your direction. You held on your table for support as you can feel your knees getting even weaker as he approach closer. Seeing him again after days of being away from each other just made it even more emotional.

“W-What are you doing here? I was just about to go and meet you—” your words cut as he clash his lips on your shaking lips. He placed his hands on your hips, making sure you won’t fell.

You moaned, eyes getting teary of being overwhelmed. You felt his kisses, his touch and his warmth.

After the heated kiss and when he realized you two needed air, he pulls away. He kept his eyes straight at yours, letting your foreheads touch each other.

“I’m sorry for how I acted the last time. It was such a jerk move.” he whispered sincerely that tugs your heart.

You pout and raised your arms to wrap it over his neck.

“It’s fine. I understand that maybe I went overboard. I shouldn’t have let my personal emotions take over me.”

He licked his lips, taking a short glance at your slightly swollen lips. He was tempted once again after having a taste of something he’s been craving for a while. He sighs, calming himself down. This isn’t about him.

“Let me make it up to you.” and he leans even closer, tugging your body closer to his. His lips dangerously inches away from yours.

A small smile spreads across your face.

“You don’t have to, Hoon.”

He leans and placed a peck on your lips. “I want to. Will you let me take you out on a date tonight?”

Your mouth gapped in surprise. “A date?” you repeat his words, bewildered.

He nods his head, trapping his lower lip over his teeth. Sunghoon pressed his body towards you that made you giggle.

“But we already skipped two of our sessions.” you reminded him. As expected, he seemed totally unbothered.

“Then this will be the third time.” he smirks and arched his brow. “Please?”

You stared straight to his eyes and eventually surrenders.

“Okay.” you agreed that made him smile wider.

“Thank you.” he says and leans for another kiss. You giggled returning his affection and letting yourself be drowned by his kisses. His hand playfully roams around your whole body like claiming his territory.

“I have something for you.” he mumbles after leaning away. You can see how his eyes are starting to be clouded by lust and longing.

It stirs excitement inside you. Just having him this close again and staring at you this way makes your core hot and wet. The way he affects you is crazy. Its even crazier because you know he’s the only one that can make you feel this way.

“What is it?”

A mischievous grin spread across his handsome face before he lets one of his hand go from your hips to slid inside his pocket. Your eyes looked curiously to what he’s trying to get.

He fished out something and you can see its color pink. Your brows furrowed in confusion as to what is that thing. It seems soft and like a toy. Your hand unclasped from him to try and hold the thing he was holding.

“What’s that?” you asked too innocently that made Sunghoon almost go feral. Just the genuine look of innocence in your eyes were enough to make him lose his mind. He thought that during the times he was with you and with all the things you two had done together, he might have corrupted you enough.

But it seems like he was wrong. He hasn’t corrupted you enough for you to know that what he’s holding right now is a small vibrator.

He gulped, trying to calm himself and his dick.

“A vibrator.” he announced that made you instantly blush.

“W-What...” you are unable to ask further question as he moved quickly to carry you and make you sit at your office table.

“Hoon, wait what are you gonna do?”

He smiles, “We’re going to have some fun, baby.” and he placed a kiss at your cheeks.

His hand reaches for your thighs and he spread it enough. You’re about to protest and ask more, but he quickly kisses you to distract you from what he’s about to do. His hand made its way inside your skirt and searches for your underwear.

You moaned and tried to pull away, but his lips just chases yours. He eventually managed to take off your underwear, his bare fingers touching your wet core.

“Ugh,” you moaned sensually.

“Already so wet for me?” he smirks so proudly that made you feel so flushed.

He raised his other hand that was holding the vibrator and placed it near your mouth.

“Coat it with your saliva, baby. So it will go in smoothly.” he instructed, eyes flickering with so much excitement.

You obliges and opens your mouth. Sunghoon stares as he dips the vibrator inside your mouth, your tongue twirling around to make sure every part is fully coated of your sweet saliva.

“Fuck, you look so hot.” he mumbles and pressed his lips at your cheeks before gently pulling it out from your lips, making an unintentional ‘plop’ sound.

Your heads stared down while he placed it at your entrance. It was wet and full of your juice already so it slid easier. You kind of felt the stretch but it was a good one. The kind you’ve missed for a while.

“How does that feel?” he asks carefully as he lifts his gaze to look at your half-lidded eyes.

You gulped, salivating a bit due to pleasure of having something inside you.

“G-Good.”

He nods and grabs this one small device. Your mind is pretty clouded and occupied by that small toy inside of you that you didn’t realized that in order for it to be called vibrator, it needs to vibrate. And that will only happen using that controller Sunghoon’s holding at the moment.

“Okay, let’s start it with the mildest intensity.” he says softly near your ears and pressed something.

You jolt at the sensation it was giving you, a hand grabbing him by his arm. “Oh my gosh,” you mumbled surprised.

He chuckles, “How does that feel, pretty? Much better?”

He leans his forehead to yours as you nod your head slowly. It was a foreign feeling, but it was good. Really really good.

“I think we can put it higher.” he didn’t even wait for what you’re opinion about it and raises the intensity making you open your mouth. Your eyes shut abruptly and the grip over his arms tightened.

“W-Wait, this is too much...” you mumbles feeling everything in you just vibrates and shaking along with this small device.

Your mind are slowly becoming blank and filled with nothing but lust. The vibration is so perfect and the way Sunghoon showers you with kisses makes it even better. He kisses, sucks your skin and sometimes bite you using his canine teeth, making sure he mark you pretty well.

“I’m c-coming,” your words snapped Sunghoon out from his trance as he pulls away and manipulated the controller to make it feel better for you.

As you came, your body loses it strength but thankfully Sunghoon was there to support you, wrapping his arm around your waist. He placed a kiss on your shoulder then at your temple, whispering praises.

“You did so well for me, baby.” he kisses you again at your lips then flashes you a sweet smile.

You smiled and leaned to give him a kiss too. You’re still high from your orgasm that you couldn’t say anything to him. After he pulls away, your eyes watch how he slid your underwear inside his pocket. His eyes are darted at yours when you lift your gaze up to look at him.

He smirks shamelessly, unbothered that he was caught red handed of pocketing your underwear without consent.

“Hey, I can’t go eat dinner without it.” you pout.

He chuckles, “Oh, you can do it. Besides you have that inside you to keep your cum inside.” he smirks that made your eyes grow big.

“What do you mean?”

He fixes your hair, “Am I going to have this inside me while we eat outside?”

He smirks, already giving you the answer.

“Yes. We’re going to have so much fun tonight.” and with that you are left with no choice but to go out on a date with a freaking vibrator inside of you.

You don’t know how exactly you look, but you bet it was awkward. The way you kept moving around, squirming out of discomfort is quite noticeable. You’re inside the elevator and thankfully it was just the two of you heading down at the underground parking lot of the hospital.

Sunghoon chuckles and held your hips tighter, holding your position.

“Stop moving around.”

You grunted, “It feels uncomfy. I feel like my cum will drip out from it.”

He leaned down, lips touching your ears as he whispers, “I bet not. Your pussy is so tight it left no gap for the vibrator.” his raspy voice rings through your ears that made you shiver.

When you arrived at the parking lot, Sunghoon guided you somewhere. It was a black rang rover and a man went out from it then wait patiently until you two came near the vehicle.

You gave him an awkward smile as you still feel bothered by that thing you’ve been keeping between your legs. He bows slightly.

“Let’s go to the restaurant.” Sunghoon says firmly and opened the door for you.

So this is his driver. You’ve been informed by his parents that ever since the incident, he refused to drive. Whenever he have to go see you at your office during wednesdays, he have his own driver to accompany him.

Sunghoon sat beside you and tugs you closer to him while his driver started driving. You felt conscious now that you have another person around you, but it doesn’t seem like the same way for him. Since his touches became more bold.

You gave him a warning look and held his wrist tightly to prevent his hand from entering your skirt completely. His hand was just chilling at your thigh a while ago, and now its slowly moving upwards.

“I just want to check if its still there.” he reasoned out with a grin on his face.

You rolled your eyes at him, “Like it can get out by itself, huh? Of course its still there.” you tried hard to whisper so his driver won’t hear any of this wild things you two had been doing.

He pouts mockingly, “I want to check it myself.” and tugs his arm away to unclasp your hold before he dips his hand further inside your skirt.

You pressed your lips together to prevent any moans from coming out and just lets him do what he wants. This is why you think its dangerous for you to hang around Park Sunghoon often. Because you are too weak for him and you always ends up letting him have his way.

When his fingers touch your core, he graze it gently on your slit and smirk grew wider at the feeling of your cunt being filled. He pulls right after plopping his slightly wet digits inside his mouth to lick it clean. He does all of that while staring shamelessly to your eyes.

The drive towards the restaurant was surprisingly short or he just really kept you occupied the whole ride. It was a fine dinning and thankfully, you dressed pretty appropriately for its aura.

The two of you entered while holding each others hands. Just by the entrance, you can see heads whips towards your direction probably intrigued to see the famous F1 racer out in the open once again. Not to mention that he’s being accompanied by someone unfamiliar to the public.

It made you conscious and a little bit anxious. The feeling of the vibrator inside you isn’t helping as well. Sunghoon did turn it off as you begged him to as you get off from the vehicle. He said that he will allow it only because you behaved and asked nicely.

“Reservation under my name.” Sunghoon tugs you closer to him, hand resting over your waist.

Sunghoon hates the attention he’s having the moment he step foot inside this place, but he thinks he hates the attention that you are gathering even more. More than once he caught a male looking at you like a hungry animal. He fucking hates it. How dare them look at you for more than five seconds? You are his to look at, to admire, to kiss, to claim and to fuck.

“This way, Sir.” the waiter smiles and guidee you inside.

The whole ambiance of the place was romantic and classy. The type of restaurants you see in movies where the people dressed extra nicely to fit the vibe of the place. It was just perfect, if only that thing was not making you feel uncomfy.

Sunghoon beats the waiter to pull a chair for you and you smiled at him. He kissed your hand before sitting at the chair across. He smirks while watching you trying to get comfortable on your seat.

“You good, baby?” he asks meaningfully as the waiter comes back for the menu, handing one each to the two of you.

“Y-Yeah,” and glared at him slightly before trying to look over the food they’re serving.

You’re just in the middle of trying to find something you like to eat when you jolt in surprise. Your eyes instantly darted at Sunghoon, glaring at him. He’s eyes are fixed on the menu while a big evil grin occupies his sexy lips.

He just turned the vibrator on, catching you off-guard and jolt on your seat. The waiter took notice of your sudden discomfort.

“Are you okay, Ma’am?” he asked, very worried.

You flash him a quick smile and pursed your lips tightly right after as the intensity gets higher.

“I’m fine— Ugh,” you groaned and lowered your head in embarrassment. You pressed your legs together, but it just became more intense that way.

“Are you sure? We can—”

“She said she’s fine.” Sunghoon’s strict tone interrups the waiter’s concerned remarks. You glanced at him and you can see him shooting glares at him.

You bit your lower lip and tried hard to control your body from shaking obviously. Its making your head fuzzy and the pleasure clouding your mind. Sunghoon clicks his tongue and proceeds on saying his order.

As he pressed the controlled on its max intensity, the satisfied grin spreads across his face seeing how you reacts. Just seeing how hard you try to control your expression and actions to not fully give into pleasure makes him slightly proud. He kind of wants you to make a mess tho, he’s not going to lie.

“I will order for her too. Is that all right, baby?” he even reaches for your hand that was resting by the table.

You nod your head eagerly, trying to focus on reaching yet another delicious orgasm. Right at this moment, you don’t care if the waiter notices how your legs are shaking or your face too flush from pleasure. All you can think of is to cum hard right there and then.

After the waiter gets your order, he excuses himself and informed you that your order will be ready after ten minutes. The moment he turns around to leave, your legs shakes reaching your climax.

Sunghoon smirks as he watch you slowly going back to your right mind space. With glares shooting straight at him you grit your teeth.

“Why w-would you do that?!”

He smirks, totally not regretful.

“I hate it when men flocks to impress you.”

You furrowed your brows hardly, still high from the orgasm you just had.

“He was just doing his job.”

He tilts his head, unimpressed. “Well I am just doing mine too.”

“What do you mean?”

“Marking what’s mine.” he said that seriously that it made you blush so hard.

Your heart thumped faster and harder that you almost got scared that it will come out from your ribcage. These are his actions that made you confuse if he have feelings for you or not. He’s not saying anything.

He asked something else afterwards to maybe ease the atmosphere. He’s still the Sunghoon who loves to tease you which somehow comforts you. Last time you’ve seen him, you asked him something personal and you got scared it made him cave in his shell once again.

Like what the waiter said, the food will be available after ten minutes. They served it and you two continued eating and talking. It was fun and you cannot believe you are having a date with Park Sunghoon.

You’re just worrying and overthinking about him last Wednesday night. You sure cannot predict what’s about to happen.

After your perfect meal, you’re trying to enjoy the dessert that he ordered for you when naughty Sunghoon once again tries to attack. Your head shakes side by side to stop him, but he was already grinning at you.

He pressed the controller making you jolt.

“H-Hoon,” you moaned.

“Yes, baby?” concern and teasing plays through his tone.

You pursed your lips. “Enough p-please.”

He pout his pinkish lips, “How can I stop when you look so good like that? Such a slut for me.” he says licking his lips while grinning widely.

The sensual look on your face and the way you fight it just so nobody notices turns him on. You’ve always been innocent in Sunghoon’s eyes. An angel. He’s like a very bad wolf trying to prey on you. To corrupt and make you his slut.

Sunghoon palms his dick as it slowly grow harder inside his trousers. He just couldn’t get enough of you.

“N-No...” you whimpered and lowered your head when he pressed it again to rise the intensity.

The pleasure is making you lose your mind. Sunghoon’s already lost his moments ago as he continue palming his erect friend down there.

“Just one more, baby. Cum for me one last time.” he says softly and you gulped.

The way he talks you through it is what’s dangerous. You can never say no to his sweet tone. It’s like it has its own way towards you that convinces and automatically hypnotize you to oblige to his words.

“B-But I c-can’t anymore.”

“Of course you can.” and he even reach for your hand to place a warm kiss on top of it.

He put it at max and you shut your eyes to prevent people from seeing how it rolled at the back of your head. Everything starts to be blurry and to spin.

��I-I’m close...” you mumbles, biting your lip hardly.

Sunghoon licks his lips, “That’s it...” he grabbed your hand and watch carefully while you surrendered yourself into pleasure.

“Hmph,” and another delicious orgasm unfolds.

“Let’s go,” Sunghoon stood up from his sit and approach you. He carefully helps you to stand up. Some customers looked at your direction, but you’re still too high from your previous climax to give care.

“Is she okay?” one waiter approaches after noticing that it seems like you are unwell.

“She’s fine. I just need to get her to the bathroom.” Sunghoon says and excused the both of you.

One waiter guides you two inside a bathroom. She asked if you needed anything more but Sunghoon dismissed her and told her that you just needed space to breath.

The moment she left, he went over the door and locked it. He pushed you over one of the counters, hold you by the hips and easily lifts you up. He made you sit down.

“W-What...” you licked your lips, unable to properly say anything.

He smirks, “You did so well for me, baby. So so good.” he mumbles and spreads your legs and placed a kiss at your forehead once.

His hand reaches for your core and carefully removes the vibrator inside.

“Ugh,” you moaned and groaned a bit at the feeling of that thing being removed from inside you.

Sunghoon take it to his lips and licked all of your juices out from it. It was so sweet, something he missed for days.

“Fuck, I need to have you. Right now.” he announced that made you flutter your eyes slightly open.

With the small gap, you saw him unzipping his pants that made your anticipation rise. Although totally worn out from the multiple orgasms he already gave you from that toy, the thought of having him for yourself excites you the most.

“P-Please.” you begged, gripping over his clothes.

“Please what, pretty?”

You lift your gaze and stared straight to his lustful eyes. It was dark and you can see how dangerous he is. The amount of lust he has for you was unmeasurable. Sunghoon never felt this way towards someone before.

“Please fuck me.”

Sunghoon’s eyes turned darker and dipped his head down to connect his hot lips on yours. He bit your lip to crack an entrance for his tongue to enter your delicious mouth. Your sweet taste overwhelms him and he started to get addicted.

He pressed his body towards you as he carefully pulls out his erect member. He strokes it a couple of times before placing it on your wet entrance. You whimper at the feeling of his hot dick grazing the line of your cunt.

It sent unexplainable pleasure that the two of you sure enjoys at the very moment. Something you two won’t get tired of.

“So fucking beautiful.” he mumbles on your lips and continues giving you messy kisses.

“So beautiful and only for me.” he growled as he slid his cock inside of you.

One hard thrust and he’s all in. Your eyes flutters open, mouth hanging open at the unexpected stretch. The vibrator and couple orgasms sure prepared you, but not enough to feel a slight sting. Sunghoon’s dick is so big for your small cunt.

“Fuck.” he cursed, feeling his dick suffocating inside of you.

“H-Hoon,” you whisper.

“I know baby. Hold on.” and he started to move, thrusting in and out of you. It was so good. The pleasure was too much.

He showed no mercy in using and abusing your pussy as he rutt his cock inside you so hard. He grunts and groaned at the pleasure of having your body this close. He glanced at your privates and just thought how they perfectly fit each other.

“You are mine. You hear me?” he grunts as he continued rocking harder. His thrusts became deeper and faster, fucking you into oblivion.

“Answer me!” he groaned and bit your shoulder when he received no response from you.

“Y-Yes.”

“Yes what?” he stared at you.

“Yes, I am yours.” you mumbled near his lips and he smiled widely before kissing you.

His hips started rutting even harder as both of your climax approaches. The two of you became a mess trying to catch that orgasm you’ve been yearning to have together. A couple of hard thrusts and dirty talking and you exploded first before him.

You throw your head back, eyes shut as you started to see stars fromtl too much pleasure. Sunghoon catches his breath and kissed your collarbones before slowly pulling out his member.

He watch how your mixed cum drips out from your hole. He smiles and use two of his fingers to push them back inside, making you jolt a little.

“Sorry, baby. I don’t want to waste it.”

The two of you tried to make yourself look much more presentable. You’ve been glaring at him through his reflection in the mirror in front of you and he’s been grinning all the time. He looked so hot and handsome, you hate it.

“You look so pretty.” he compliments.

Despite the blushing cheeks you rolled your eyes and twist to face him. You crossed your arms at him and stared. He smirks and put his hands inside his pockets.

“Don’t you think that was too much?” you fired him. He arched his brow, acting innocent about it.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

You clicked your tongue, “I bet they knew what was going on! Its so embarrassing.” you pout.

He chuckled and walks closer placing his large hands at your sides.

“I’m sure they don’t mind. Let’s go?”

“Where?” you looked at him with so much suspicion in your eyes.

“Why are you looking at me that way?”

“The last time you said that you led me here.”

He barked a laughter before kissing your cheeks once. He started guiding you out from that bathroom. Surprisingly, nobody took it as a big deal. Some of them looked genuinely worried of you, but once Sunghoon said that you’re just a little sick they let it go and wish you to feel well soon.

While he was paying for the your meals, you roamed your eyes around and by the entrance someone caught you attention. A familiar elegant girl walks inside with yet another familiar face.

They walked closer and when her eyes darted at your direction, it slightly grew.

“Sunghoon?” she calls softly.

Your head craned to look at Sunghoon and you saw how he stiffened. His hand halted from reaching over his black card he used to pay for their service.

He slowly turned to face the girl and the look on his face is not good. He jaw clenches as he looked at the two people standing a few feet away from you.

As you glance back at that girl, you realized she was the same girl you’ve seen at the elevator. The one who looked dreadful. The other one beside her is familiar as well. If you can remember it right, he’s one of Sunghoon’s team-mates.

“How have you been? I’ve been trying to call you, but they said you are refusing my calls.” she seemed agitated while Sunghoon remained his distant.

A little confused to what is happening, you took notice of his obvious discomfort by their presense. His body language is showing you that he doesn’t want to be here in front of them so you quickly stepped in.

“Hey, done paying?” you asked gently and grabbed his hand. It was cold, sweaty.

Their eyes then darted at your direction. The expression on that girl’s face drastically changed. Her eyes looked at you with so much judgement, raking it up and down.

Sunghoon finally took in a breath after feeling you beside him. He glances at you and seeing how you looked at him with so much care, calms him down. He nods and pursed his lips. You can still feel his hands shaking a little. He’s having a panic attack.

You faced them and smiled, “Hello, I’m y/n. I’m sorry, but Sunghoon and I have to go. I hope to see you guys around some other time.” and with that, you bowed politely before starting to guide him out.

Sunghoon manages to walk well, but you can still see that he’s in panic. When you arrived in front of his vehicle, his driver assisted you to get him inside. You asked him to give you two some space.

You cupped his face after giving him some water.

“Hey, calm down. Breath in,” you gently instructs and caress his arms. “breath out...”

He looked at your eyes and carefully follows them. He can feel his chest tightening for unknown reasons. His fist felt numb and her mind starts to lose focus. You, on the other hand understands that he’s having an anxiety. For what exact reason, you don’t know. But what you’re sure of is whoever those two are, they triggered something in him.

“Baby, I’m here. Just breath. I am here for you. Look at me.” you mumbles and held his hand to place it on your face.

He felt your warmth and his eyes slowly focused on you. He can now clearly see your beautiful face despite the slight darkness inside the vehicle. He felt his heart thumped faster, but this time in a different matter. You made him feel safe and calm.

“I’m s-sorry.” he whispers and your heart cracks at the sight of him.

It was almost like he’s not Sunghoon. He looked so fragile. A part of you felt relieved that he finally shown you this side of him, but your heart couldn’t take it.

You tugs him closer and he gave in. He wraps his arms around your waist and nuzzle closer, enjoying your warmth.

“She’s Natasha.” he mumbles.

Your brows furrowed and realized that he was probably referring to the girl from a while ago. You kept your mouth shut, doesn’t want to ask something that can ruin it again.

“My ex girlfriend.”

You guided Sunghoon inside his house once you two arrived. After he revealed that it was his ex-girlfriend from that restaurant, you don’t know what to feel. Just by thinking of how he reacted, it made you feel things. It made you overthink once again.

“Y/n...” you snapped back to reality when you heard him call you softly.

You craned your head and looked at him laying on his bed. He’s looking at you with slight worry and fear.

“Yes?”

“Please stay with me.”

He never, in the whole duration that you two had been in this set up, he had never asked you to stay. You felt your heart races, hope ignites inside your chest.

Slowly, you strut closer to his bed and he opens his blanket to then scooted away to give you enough space. When you lay down, he pulls you closer to cuddle you.

“Stay for tonight.” he begged.

You sighed and slid your arms over his waist after placing a kiss on his chest. “Okay.”

The two of you fell silent. You’re just caressing his back gently and you have no clue if he’s already asleep or what. All you can think of is how messed up it is to meet his ex girlfriend that way. You’re starting to overthink how he still feels for her or where you stand in his life at the moment.

“That night of the accident...” your hand halts from caressing his back and slowly you pulls away to look at him.

“You don’t have to if you aren’t ready yet.” you gave him an assuring smile.

He looked at you straight in your eyes and leans down to place a kiss on your forehead.

“I want to.” he says firmly.

You gave him a nod and rests your head on his chest once again. You gave him his time, doesn’t want to make him feel uncomfy and just take his precious time.

“On the night before I got into an accident, I planned to go to her place because I felt like I neglected her too much. I was having practice on consecutive days since the competition is near.” he says.

He took a long breath and tries to calm himself to go through the night he got into an accident once again.

“I went to her place and found her...” he gulps. You placed a kiss on his chest and caress his back gently. “I found her naked on top of my best friend.” he finally said it.

Your mouth gapped and slowly pulls away from hugging him. His breathing fasten and you raised your head to look at his eyes. It was brimming with tears and you felt like your heart teared off.

“I j-just can’t believe it. How can they do that to me? My girlfriend and my own best friend? That’s so fucked up.” a tear escapes his eyes as he clenched his jaw harder, trying to compose himself.

You cup his face and listened to him carefully.

“I stormed out from her apartment after cursing them out. I drove while still being so angry. The next thing I know, I was in the hospital.”

He pursed his lips together and stared at your eyes. Sunghoon didn’t hold back, he lets you see his vulnerability. He doesn’t know but if there’s someone he can show this side of him, he knew it was you.

“I refused to drive again because I feel like it was the start of how things got messy between all of us. She said I neglected her and all I can think of is that race. My best friend said I took away all the spotlight and left him out of it. He was pushed out of the picture and I am the only one people can see.” he stated, he looked so broken and betrayed.

You may not know a lot about these people, but what you heard from him was enough for you to feel a slight hatred towards them.

“Hey, listen to me.” you sniffed, tears pooling your eyes.

Your hands cupped his face and his hands slowly rested over your hips. His eyes stared at you, trying to listen like you said.

“The issue with your ex girlfriend, it was not right for her to make neglection as a reason to cheat on you. Yes, you might have your short comings as her boyfriend but I am pretty sure you two can solve that problem together by talking.” you carefully make him understand. He stays silent, hand slowly caressing your waist up and down.

“Your best friend,” you started and the picture of the two of them you saw from the internet months ago flashes back to your mind. They look so happy in that photo and yet who knew this could happen?

“You can never cure insecurity, baby. Even if you try to give him the time to shine, you can never fix his own issues for him. If he cannot be supportive of you, then he doesn’t deserve you.” you rest your forehead over his.

“Don’t blame yourself for something you don’t have control of. Even if you don’t neglect her, what assurance do you have that she will not do that to you? If its meant to happen, it will happen. Just like racing.” you smile gently at him, tears streaming down your pretty face.

Sunghoon raises one of his hand to wipe off those tears and kiss you once on the cheek.

“Racing and you are meant to be together. You shine differently behind those wheels and you love racing. Don’t let these people take away your dream.” and you sincerely told him.

Something tugs inside Sunghoon’s heart as he leans in to give you a slow heated kiss on the lips. That night, he couldn’t be more thankful that he have you beside him. You spent the whole time cuddling and enjoying each other’s warmth.

The next day, you left after giving him smooches. He refused on letting you go, but you told him you have an importang meeting for that day. He was a little sulky so you had to give him a head to boost his mood a little.

He walked you out and waves cutely, the firm disapproval of you leaving flashes across his handsome face. His bed hair and slightly crinkled white shirt just gave more vibe to you, making your stomach churns and wetting you down there.

Sunday came as well, Hana went back and you decided to spend it with her. Sunghoon kept on texting you. Thankfully he wasn’t that sulky about it.

“Doctor, that was your last patient.” your secretary announced after she knocks and opens the door to your office.

You smiled and told her she did well today. It’s monday already and you’re off to go see Sunghoon at his place for his session.

Speaking of which, your smile grew after seeing his caller i.d flashing through your phone.

“Yeah?”

“You’re at your office?” he asks.

“Uh-huh. Why? I’ll just fix my things and I’ll go straight to your place.” you informed him.

You can hear some muffled background sounds from the other line, like he’s walking or something.

“Nah, stay there. I’m almost at your floor.”

“Huh? What are you doing here?” you asked, confused.

“Picking you up. See you in a bit, baby.” and he ended the call.

You couldn’t help but to smile widely just by thinking he came here to fetch you. Not long after, a knock can be heard from your office door. With excited hops you went to open it for him. A big grin is what greets you.

“Baby!” you greeted cheerfully and threw yourself at him. It made Sunghoon giggle and press kisses on your lips right away.

One of his hand rests over your waist, the other one holding something. After being satisfied of the affections you shared with each other, you pulled away and stared at him.

“You didn’t have to come and pick me up, you know?” but the smile on your lips almost rips face.

“We’ll go out on dinner.” he says that made your brows arched. You’re about to say something when he beats you into talking.

“With my parents.” he added that made your face turn pale instantly.

You’ve seen Mrs. Park a couple of times throughout the process of your sessions with Sunghoon. She is nice, except that you still find her a little intimidating. His father tho, despite showing his trust on you that day they seek for your professional help, he intimidates everything in you.

“You okay, baby?” and he pulls you closer to him.

“I’m nervous. Why are we suddenly having dinner with them?” you asked a little warry.

He smiles and kissed your cheeks, finding you adorable like this. He placed the paperbag he’s been holding ever since he arrived. Your eyes darted at it with slight curiosity.

“You can wear this dress for tonight.”

While staring at his expressive eyes, you realized you’ve got no choice but to go with him. Thankfully, he did gave you enough time to get ready and make yourself look more presentable. You have no idea what’s the dinner for since Sunghoon didn’t quite made it clear.

After an hour or two, he guided you towards the elevator. His coat rests on your shoulder to keep you warm while you go down to where he parked.

“Where is your driver?” you asks, roaming your eyes around to search for his familiar range rover.

Instead, he guides you over into a red sports car. With hopeful eyes, you glanced silently at him. He smirks and opened the passenger seat to the two-seater vehicle.

“I’ll be driving us tonight, pretty.” he finally confirms and you couldn’t explain how happy you are at that moment.

He leans and kissed your shoulder before helping you to get inside. You took the time admiring the inside of his car. It was very beautiful. The kind of car you think that fits Sunghoon, the famous F1 racer. His range rover is not bad, but this one fits him even more.

“What?” he scoffed while starting the engine when he noticed how your stares lingers.

“Have I told you how sexy you are?”

He chuckled and smirked widely.

“Well, this sexy man will eat you later tonight.”

You blushed and quickly swat his arm quickly. “You always find a way to ruin the moment with your horniness.”

He laughed and leans to kiss you on your cheeks swiftly, “What can I say? I just couldn’t get enough of you.”

The ride was short and you can feel your whole system panicking the moment he handed his keys to the vallet. He offered his hand and you accepted it as he guided you inside. Just days ago, you were inside a fine diningr restaurant and now you are here once again. What’s even more thrilling is that his parents will join you.

The waiters greets you with full enthusiasm and helped you find your table. They informed the two of you that his parents were already there.

“Doctor (Surname).” his Mom flashes you a big smile the moment she sets eyes on you.

Compared to the last time you met them, their aura seems to be lighter. His Dad looked a little more friendlier. A small smile plays through his lips as he silently watch you two approach the table.

You bowed politely and accepted the sudden hug from his mother. She’s always nice, but never to this extent. It caught you off-guard.

Sunghoon pulls the chair for you and waits for you to have a seat before taking his.

“We already ordered our food! I hope you don’t mind, Doctor (surname).” she says with so much elegance.

You smiled, “Not at all. Apologies for being a little late.”

“Oh, no need! I mean we did arranged this dinner so suddenly.” she giggles.

You have no idea what she thinks about you and where you stand in her son’s life so you feel a little awkward. Despite the large leap between your relationship with Sunghoon, he didn’t confirmed anything yet.

You felt his arm resting at the rest of your chair. It caught his father’s eyes so you felt conscious and made sure not to lean back. His Mother was the one who carries the whole conversation. She seems excited and so you make sure you respond well to her.

“So Doctor (Surname)—”

“Y/n, Mom. Call her by her first name. You’re too formal.” Sunghoon interrupts her while the waiters starts to serve the food.

“Is it okay with you, dear?” she asks.

You eagerly nodded your head as you find it a little awkward to be called by your surname all the time.

“Please enjoy the meal, y/n.” Sunghoon’s father said that made you glance at his direction. You nodded and all of you started eating.

Sunghoon kept looking after you that even while his father and him discusses about something, he keeps on assisting you. You blush, feeling a little shy that his mother will soon take notice and ask what’s between the two of you.

“You’re probably wondering why we suddenly asked to have dinner with you.” she started after you finished the main meals and now at your desserts.

You nodded and patiently wait for what she’s about to say. She pursed her lips and you can see her eyes softening, slightly brimming with tears.

She reaches for your hand and the two male kept silent, watching the two of you. Sunghoon’s hands moves and rests at the small of your back, giving it subtle caress.

“We want to thank you for looking out for Sunghoon and for helping him. We really did the right choice of asking for your help.” she sincerely said.

You smiled, “It was my pleasure.”

She smiles, “When he told us that he wants to undergo surgery and to drive for (f1 team) once again we were so happy. We couldn’t thank you enough!”

Your mouth gapped at what you just heard. The shock on your face was too evident that his Mom looked at you with amusement.

“W-What?” you asked, totally confused.

“Wait, he didn’t told you?” his Mom asks.

You shook your head side to side and heard Sunghoon heaving a sigh from beside you. He pushed himself from resting at his chair.

“It was suppose to be a surprise for her, Mom.” he says that made you look at him with teary eyes.

“Surprise.” he smirks.

“Are you really...?”

He nods his head, staring at you with an unknown look on his face. His affection for you oozing that even his parents noticed it right away. They didn’t need to ask or for their son to confirm it. From just how he holds you and looks at you, they can tell that he’s very fond of you.

“I’m so happy for you!” and you caged him with a tight embrace.

The dinner continued with a lighter atmosphere. You shared conversation with his Mom as she starts telling you stories about his childhood which you find really entertaining.

“Thank you for tonight.” you smiled widely at his Mother when its time to bid goodbye.

She pursed her lips and approaches for yet another warm hug. “Thank you for coming into our son’s life, y/n.” she whispers only for you to hear.

Your heart thumps and was unable to say anything else after she pulls away to give her son a hug this time. They waved and Sunghoon guides you towards his sports car.

“She likes you so much.” he says after putting his seatbelt on.

“Well your Mom is a sweetheart.”

He smiled agreeing. He started the engine and drove. You noticed that he its not the direction back to the hospital so you glanced at him.

“You aren’t taking me back to the hospital?”

He glanced at you, “Why? You left something?”

“My car is there.”

He kept his eyes at the road, “You’re going home with me tonight. You don’t need your car.”

You pursed your lips into a pout, “But I have work tomorrow.”

“We can ask someone to buy you work clothes and I can drive you to the hospital tomorrow since I also need to see the surgeon my Mom was talking about.”

Your eyes grew out of excitement.

“Okay, I can accompany you before I go to work.”

So it was final. The two of you made it to his place and decided to cuddle. Legs tangled with each other, your head laying over his chest as he hugs you close to his body. Sunghoon couldn’t ask for anything else. Just by having you like this while your hearts beats in sync with each other was enough.

The two of you spent the whole night just enjoying the warmth and comfort that escalates between you. It was a wholesome moment that probably will be cherished for as long as you can remember.

“Fucking fuck!” Sunghoon’s rasp voice moaned as he continued rutting deep and hard from behind you.

It was morning the next day and nothing’s better to start your day with a morning fuck. So here you are on your second orgasm for today, face pressed down on the pillow while he take you deliciously from behind. You can feel his length reaching all the right spot perfectly.

“H-Hoon, just like that!” you screamed.

“Pussy so tight for me. So good, so fucking good.” he leaned and bite on your skin before rocking even harder.

When you’re about to reach your climax, Sunghoon flips you around so you can face him. “I want to see your beautiful face while I cum deep inside you.” he groaned and once again find his pace.

You two were a moaning mess, desperately getting drowned by too much pleasures.

“P-Please, I'm cumming.” you mumbled, tears swells over your eyes.

He groped your chest and continued fucking you hard. Sunghoon licks his lips as he make sure he is hitting it deep and right. The amount of pleasure your pussy is giving him is out of this world. For him, nothing can match this. You are the only one.

“Cum with me, baby.” he demands that you completely obliges as eyes rolls back hardly after your release.

After a couple of thrust, Sunghoon shoots his hot seeds deep inside your womb, making sure he paints and claims you enough. He leans in while still giving you lazy thrusts and kissed you on your lips.

He plops beside you and you’re both trying to catch your breaths.

“We need to get ready.” you announced and sat up. His eyes follows you silently.

“Can’t we just go tomorrow instead?”

You shook your head in disapproval. “No. We have to do your sessions tomorrow so we have no time. Besides, you have to meet with your surgeon.”

After so many attempts of making him leave the bed and get ready, you finally succeeded. He drove you to the hospital.

“We’ll go to your surgeon first.” you left him with no choice.

Sunghoon silently follows, ignoring the eyes that obviously watches him after recognizing who he is. His tall figure, handsome face and the way he carries himself just catches attention easily.

“Excuse me, is doctor Kang available at the moment?” you ask the attendant nurse.

Her eyes lits up at the sight of you and smiles. “Yes, doctor.” she response.

“Great! May I ask what time is his appointment with Park Sunghoon?”

The nurses eyes brightens, “Mr. Park Sunghoon? Oh, Doctor Kang has been waiting for him for twenty minutes. His Mom already made the appointment last night.”

You smiled excitedly, “Thank you! I’m sorry for being late, we were caught on traffic. Can we go inside now?”

She nods and just informs Doctor Kang that his patient just arrived. You walked towards Sunghoon who have a placid expression on his face.

“Let’s go. I will walk you inside and I’ll go.”

“You’ll leave me there?” he asked with a tone of betrayal.

“I have work to do.”

“But I need you there.”

You sighed, “I’ll just meet with my client and then I will come back here. Okay?”

He still looked unsatisfied, but you pulled him towards the office of his surgeon. When you entered, his head lifts and eyes widen in surprise to see you. It didn’t slip from Sunghoon. The delightful look on his face the moment he saw you walking inside stirs something inside him.

He walks near you, back pressing on your back.

“Doctor (surname), what a surprise.” he greets and stood up from his table.

“Oh, I just accompanied Sunghoon here.” and now his eyes darted at his direction.

The doctor seem to be surprised again and quickly offered a hand. Didn’t want to be rude, Sunghoon tries to keep his cool and accepted it.

“Its such an honor to finally meet you, Mr. Park.” he says.

He gave him a short nod, looking a little snobby. Your lips lifts a bit, remembering how he’s just the same the first time you two had met.

“How’d you know him?” he curiously asked you.

You smiled, “I’m his psychiatrist,”

“And my girlfriend.” Sunghoon added that caught you off-guard, resting his hand over your waist.

The smile on his surgeon’s face fell, but he tries hard to pull it back.

“Oh, I s-see.” he awkwardly stated.

You blinked and with blushing cheeks, you realized it was your cue to leave them two alone.

“I’ll see you l-later?” you stuttered.

Sunghoon seemed unbothered and even pleaced a peck on your lips before finally letting you go. The whole time you’re walking towards your building, your mind was occupied. You cannot think of anything else but what Sunghoon just said.

Girlfriend? Did he really just said you are his girlfriend? Your stomach churns and heart hammered hardly inside your chest.

It took everything in you to shove that thought off of your mind in order to focus on your work. Your sessions went surprisingly well regardless of being a little distracted because of the F1 racer.

After your last session, you heard a knock from your door and Sunghoon went inside. You smiled while still writing something at your folder.

“So...” you started and tilts your head at him.

“Since when did I became your girlfriend?” your tone sounds teasing. He smirks and leans in to drop a peck on your lips.

“Since I asked you out on a date.”

You furrowed your brows, “The day we met after not seeing each other for days?” you tried confirming it to him.

He nodded his head innocently.

“I thought you already knew that we’re already dating since I asked you out.”

You blushed, “Do you even like me?”

He narrowed down his brows and stared right at your face. “No.” his quick answer shoots you straight to the chest. It was painful.

He grabs your hand and gently guides you to stand up only to tug you closer to him. He wraps his arms around your body.

“I love you.” the three words came out from him naturally that you’re completely dumbfounded.

You blinked, “A-Are you serious?”

Sunghoon chuckled, finding you adorable.

“I am crazy for you, y/n. In case you failed to notice.”

You smiled and tip-toed for a kiss on his lips. “I love you too.”

His cheeks perks up in so much satisfaction after hearing you utter those three words. You never knew that you two will end up in this situation. You were just overthinking about this and now it was settled. There’s nothing more you can ask and just enjoys being warmly wrapped between your boyfriend’s warmth.

Almost two months had passed and you cannot be happier. It was well spent with Sunghoon as you two grew in love with each other. He was badly smitten over you as much as you are to him.

His surgery went well too and he’s now on his therapies for him to get back in the right shape. The doctor said once he's over with all of this, he’s good as new like before. He can go back on track and win races again.

“Come in!” your cheerful voice echoes inside your office after you heard a knock from your office door.

You’re done with your session today and just getting ready to leave. Sunghoon’s not responding from your text an hour ago so you assumed you won’t be meeting him again today. He’s been really busy with his therapies lately and you completely understand.

Right now, your top priority is for him to get better and nothing else.

“Miss me?”

Your hand halts from putting your things inside your bag. Shivers ran through your spine and cold sweats all over you. The familiar horrifying voice you almost forgot about rings inside your head, instantly triggering that traumatic experience you had.

Slowly, you turned around to face the person standing right by the door. The smile on his face terrified you.

“M-Mr. Cha.” you stuttered while looking at him with nothing but fear on your eyes.

“Nice to see you too, y/n.” he trailed his gaze from your face down to your body. And when you saw how he licked his lips as he does that disgusts the hell out of you.

“I see you’ve been prettier while I was gone.” he walks closer and you couldn’t even move a muscle. You are pierced right at your position, unable to even say anything.

You wanted to run as fast as you can, but your stupid feet just could not move. Like it was glued or something.

“How have you been?” his hand raised to touch your face and you moved away. He doesn’t seem to like what you did so he grabbed your hair.

“Being feisty, eh?” the sarcasm looms over his tone as he pulled your head backwards, he took his time admiring your beautiful face up close.

The director can’t remember the very first time he ever started to feel the attraction towards you. Maybe it was when his father introduced you to him as the newly hired psychologist for the hospital. He still remember how bragged that you’re one of the top students in your university and the hospital managed to pull you.

He couldn’t help but to agree. It was indeed a lucky thing they managed to have you.

“P-Please don’t do this...” your tears rolled down your cheeks and lips shakes in so much fear.

Just by thinking of going through the same process like before terrified you. But who you are kidding? You didn’t even know why you bother to plead when you knew very well he wouldn’t listen.

Mr. Cha smirks and started peppering you with kisses. You grunts and cried in resistance, but he’s just more powerul than you.

As tears silently rolled down your face while this man was assaulting you, Sunghoon flashes through you mind. How you wished he can be here to protect you and prevent this thing to happen. You should’ve had said to him what happened before.

That’s the thing. No matter how many times you try, you can’t. Fear and embarrassment takes over whenever you try to tell him about that day. You know he would understand, its just your own fear is hunting you.

On the other hand, Sunghoon’s all smiley while he parks his car at the underground parking lot of the hospital. He’s just in time to pick you up from your shift.

He felt bad that therapies had been taking all of his time and he couldn’t spend more time with his lovely girlfriend. Tomorrow, he’s off to leave the country for a week of seminar and therapy. It would be the last one before the doctors allowed him to go on full training.

He figures he can go see and spend the night with you before he leaves for a few days. He will miss you the most.

As the elevator tings at your floor, he steps outside and saw that the table of your secretary was vacant. Seems like she left already. He’s pretty sure you are still here since he didn’t receive any messages that you left your office.

When he stepped closer, he can hear muffled sound coming from inside. Things being moved and some grunts. He slowly pushed the door open and the flower he was holding fell to the cold floor.

His whole body felt numb and his ears ringed at the sight in front of him. He can feel his whole body feeling cold, mind going blank.

“What the fuck...” he said that made the man holding you moved away.

Your teary eyes grew and you quickly fixed yourself as Mr. Cha managed to push your skirt up until your waist. You still have your underwear on, but the scene itself was sensual enough for Sunghoon to react this way.

“H-Hoon...” you called softly and tried to stand up properly.

When he looked at you with the hint of betrayal flickering through his eyes, your heart drops. He misunderstood everything. He clenched his jaw and took a step backwards, shaking his head from side to side.

“N-No! It isn’t what you t-think—”

You squealed when he step forward and took a hold of Mr. Cha’s collar. With dark and dangerous eyes he glares right at him. He threw a punch with no hesitation.

“Fuck you!” he shouted.

You quickly went to stop him before he unwillingly damage his shoulder again. Thankfully, he did let you but your heart broke when he shoved your hold off from him. He glanced at you with cold eyes and left the room.

You got stoned in your position for a while before finally composing yourself. Without much thought inside your head, you grabbed your jacket and phone to come after Sunghoon. He was no longer in the elevator and so you headed down the parking lot hoping you can catch up on him.

“Sunghoon!” you called out and scurry over to his sports car. Surprisingly, nobody was there.

A part of you felt relieved that he didn’t go and drove away using his car while he’s feeling that way. You’re still very worried. You fished your phone from your pocket and dialled one of his friend’s number.

“Y/n?” his surprised tone greets you after answering your call.

“Jake! Is Sunghoon with you?”

“Huh? He just left to go see you. Is he not there yet?”

You bit your lower lip and another set of tears attempts to stream down your face. Just being reminded of how horrible and hurt he looked moments ago hunts you.

“W-We had a fight. Can you please call him? Please? I’m scared that he’ll get into another accident.”

You heard background noises from the other line and follows, “All right. Jay and I will look around for him. Don’t worry too much and be safe.” he says that send instant relief.

“Thank you.” and you crash down the pavement near his parked car.

It’s unbelievable how these things are happening to you right now. As far as you remember, you’ve never did anyone wrongly to the point for you to suffer this way. Nobody deserves to be assaulted and silenced that way. But you are scared. To think that you shouldn’t be the one to feel ashamed but still do is depressing.

As expected, he refused to see you. His friends did confirmed that they had found him somewhere and safely took him to his house. It was enough for you. The last thing you’d want is for him to get into trouble because of you.

You headed home as well, praying so bad that everything will be fine soon. You’ve been so happy with Sunghoon lately that you lost track of time. The director is back after being out of the country for a while. You’re a bit dumb to think that he will stop once he sees you’re already dating somebody.

The next day, you’re about to head over to Sunghoon’s house but to your dismay he’s off to do his last therapy. It slipped off your mind as well. Now, it made you feel bad even more. He might have went there to come see you since he will leave for a few days.

You planned to come after him, but it may be not the best choice. His mind is probably occupied and he needs time to collect his own thoughts. The best thing you can do right now is resign from your job and wait for him to come back. You can afford losing that big opportunity, but not Sunghoon. Not him.

On the other hand, Sunghoon’s on his second day out of the country. He still out of it. He’s body is here, but his mind is clearly left back at you. His heart too. He can still feel his chest tightening whenever he recalls how he sees another man touching and kissing you that way.

“That seminar is so boring!” his head craned over to one of his friend as he settles down beside him. He placed his food on the table and glanced at Sunghoon once.

“You’re too quiet these days, hyung. You missed Y/n noona that much?” he teased and even nudge him over the shoulder.

He ignored what he said and remained silent. He was right. Even after what he saw, he can’t deny that he’s been missing you so much.

“But you know Cha Jin? The director of that hospital she's working on?” he stated that made Sunghoon stops from fidgeting over his fingers.

Just by merely hearing that guy’s name sets fire inside him. It boils his blood that he wants to go straight to where he is and punch him nonstop until he passed out.

His friend seemed to not notice how his expression changed and just continued talking about this director.

“He used to be my cousin’s batchmate and he said that guy harassed a lot of girls before! He even mentioned if it wasn’t for his family’s money and power, he would have been already in jail.”

Sunghoon stunned at what he just heard. He suddenly got reminded of how he caught you and that guy that day. Him pressing himself over you while your eyes brim with tears.

Your eyes....

He cursed inwardly for not noticing it right away and for letting his emotions take over him completely.

He abruptly stood up from his seat that surprised even his friend. He looked at Sunghoon with confused eyes.

“Hyung?”

“I’ll go first.” he says and started pressing something over his phone.

“G-Go where? Hyung!” he slightly panic at the sight of the older one gathering some important things.

“Home. Tell Mr. Lim I left because of an emergency.”

Sunghoon didn't even let his friend to say anything else and just proceed on leaving that place. He put his phone over his ears and wait for the other person to answer the call.

“Yes, Mr. Park?”

“I want to file a case.” he says seriously, fist hardly clenched while talking to his lawyer.

He wants so bad to ruin Mr. Cha for doing that and he wants to punch himself for being too dumb to notice. Sunghoon asked for an immediate flight back home and tried to organize everything that will be needed.

The next day, you went over your office to gather some things. Honestly, you have no enough courage to go there. You knew you couldn't stand being in that room for long right after what he just did to you.

You hate it because you’ve put so much work and effort just for that place to feel cozy and safe. He just ruined all of it. He’s disgusting and a monster.

Just as you’re hurrying to put all the stuff you can fit inside the small box you brought, your door bursts open.

“Leaving without saying good bye?”

You whipped your head to face him with piercing eyes. Seeing him flashing a smile and having the face to be here after doing all of that to you is unbelievable. He has no shame at all.

“I’m quitting my job.”

He scoffed, “Really?” he laughed with no humor. He still scares you, but you need to be brave. You have to.

“Do you think another hospital will accept you if I spread rumor about you?” he slid his hand inside his pocket and tilts his head with a cocky smile.

You clenched your jaw and stared at him with so much hatred. He is powerful and wealthy. You knew he can ruin your life in a snap, mainly why you’re also too afraid to leave this place.

“You can’t do anything about it, y/n.” he smirks wickedly.

A tear fell from your eyes then it moves over to look at the unfamiliar person who suddenly walks inside. Your brows furrowed in confusion and so does Mr. Cha.

“But I can.” Sunghoon’s familiar voice made you roam your eyes around and you almost lost your balance when you saw him walking inside.

“What...” Mr. Cha is as confused as you are.

“Mr. Cha Jin we are asking you to come with us for interrogation about a case of harassment and rape.” a guy held him by his shoulder firmly and the other put his wrists together.

Sunghoon walks towards you and cupped your face, making you burst into tears even more.

“I’m sorry for being late, baby.” he mumbles and you just shook your head side to side.

“You’re just in time.”

He smiles and leaned down to give you a sweet kiss on your lips. He pulled away and both of you looked over Mr. Cha as he kept on resisting from the people whose guiding him outside.

“You can’t do this! You have no enough proof!” he said enraged and his eyes darted at your direction.

“Tell them, y/n! Tell them I am innocent! Do something! Defend your director!”

You can’t believe how he can say all those words towards you when he knew very well how guilty he is. Sunghoon tugs you closer, trapping your body using one of his arm.

He throw an envelope near Mr. Cha and his eyes dropped down to look at it.

“That’s her resignation letter.” Sunghoon said seriously.

Mr. Cha doesn’t look so happy about it and with gritted teeth he looked at the two of you.

“You can’t do this! You know what I can do to you, y/n!” he kept threatening you.

Sunghoon scoffed and tilts his head before placing a kiss on your forehead while still eyeing Mr. Cha. No fear can be seen over your boyfriend’s eyes.

“You messed with the wrong girl.”

He signalled the authorities to take him away already and you nuzzle over his chest as the commotion unfold. You have nothing in mind, but the thought of things being over.

“Wait.” you said when it finally hits you.

“Are you done with your therapy?” you looked at him with worried eyes.

Sunghoon smiled a little, “Not yet.”

“Then why are you here? You should be—” your words got cut off when he leans in and drop a kiss at your lips.

“I am here because my girlfriend needs me. I am a fool to leave you here alone that day.” guilt flashes through his eyes and you’re quick to comfort him.

“Don’t say that. The important thing is that you are here now.” and you wrapped your arms around his waist for a tight hug.

You two stayed that way before you decided to go home.

“Wait.” Sunghoon says and tugs your arm to pull you back.

Your body crashes on his and he looked at you with those hot eyes. With a little suspicion you stared at him.

“W-What?”

He smirked as one of his hand slowly moves down your thighs. You blushed and roamed your eyes around to check if somebody is there.

“Let me fuck you here in your office one last time.” he whispered sexily as he swiftly switch your positions and pushed you over your office table.

“But what if someone sees us?”

He pushed your skirt up to reveal your underwear. Sunghoon curses at how hot you looked beneath him before he licked his lip.

“Then they will enjoy the show.” and with a big grin, he pushed your undies to the side then pulled out his erect cock.

He gave his palm a lick before aligning his hardened head on your wet core. You let out a small moan at the sensation of his dick touching your entrance.

“Nobody,” he grunts as he pushed it inside with no mercy making you yelped a little. “can every taste you this way. This is all mine. Mine.” he said firmly like a law nobody can disobey.

He started thrusting from behind you and you two are both a moaning mess. He made his hand roam your sexy back before reaching your hand to intertwin your fingers.

“I love you so much, baby.”

Your mouth hanged open, saliva dripping slightly out from it from too much pleasure as your boyfriend kept hitting the right spots.

“I l-love you, Hoon.”

“You look lovely.” he doesn’t even need to utter those words towards you as his eyes are enough for you to know it.

The way Sunghoon stares at you with so much love and affection will always be your favorite thing. His thick brows making a straight line whenever he looks at you indicates how his worries disappears. His sexy eyes never leaving you and his lips lifting for a smile shows how badly smitten he is for you.

You smiled and leaned closer for one kiss as you don’t want your gloss to be smeared all over him if it was a long kiss. He tried to chaste after, not satisfied with the short affection. You’re quick to dismiss his attempt for another kiss.

“Later.”

“Later?”

You giggled, “Yes, later.”

He nods and placed a kiss at your shoulder before the two of you walks inside the venue. Tonight, his team gathered everyone for a small dinner party to welcome him back. His other team-mates and his coach are pretty much excited to have him back.

Of course, he asked you to be there. He wants you to be there for him.

“There he is! My man!” their coach cheers and eagerly approached Sunghoon as you two made an entrance.

His teammates didn’t waste time to come and greet him as well, delighted to see him around. You didn’t fail to catch their attention too as they kept eyeing you after greeting Hoon.

Your eyes catch a glimpse of his ex-girlfriend with Sunghoon’s ex best friend. They both stood from a distance unlike everybody else. She looked a little sad and whole regretful as she stare at your direction.

She couldn’t help but reminisce the times that it was her who he was holding.

“This is Doctor y/n (surname), my girlfriend.” he announced sounding so proud.

They all looked amused and even bickered around who can shake your hand first. You giggled finding it adorable and funny.

“You two look good together.” your heads whipped over to the side when two people approaches.

The taunting lingers over his tone as he smirks over Sunghoon, eyes flickering slight anger and disapproval to your boyfriend’s presence. Natasha stood close to him, her body language shows how uncomfy she is and how she refused to be in that situation.

A part of you felt bad for her, but you also know she kind of deserves it after what she did to Sunghoon.

Sunghoon didn’t show any sign of annoyance through his face, but instead pulled you closer to his side.

“Thanks. I can say the same thing to the two of you.” Sunghoon said with a playful smirk on his face as he stated those words with a meaningful tone.

Natasha looked so bothered about it and so does his best friend. He tries to hide it with a humorless laugh and clicked the side of his cheeks.

“Don’t you feel sorry for suddenly showing up like nothing happened?” he fired that made Sunghoon's smile fell.

His smirk grew wider at the reaction Sunghoon showed. He seems to be enjoying it and you hate it. So even before he can utter another word, you stepped in.

“Yes, my boyfriend does feel sorry.” you interrupted with a sweet voice and a playful expression on your face.

Everyone eyed you as you looked straight at his ex best friend’s face.

“The only thing he felt sorry about is that he left the team on your care.” you said that earned reactions from their teammates.

You pursed your lips into a pout, like you feel sorry. Like you feel so much pity.

“You didn’t even made it to the top five, right? What a shame.” you teased that clearly hit the spot as his smirk fell completely.

Sunghoon grinned and licked his lip before tilting his head over to the side, very impressed.

“But don’t worry guys. Sunghoon’s back to win you another trophy this season. I know he won’t disappoint us.” and you flash them all a very sweet smile.

And he really didn’t disappoint.

“For first place, champion for this season.” the announcer voice echoes to the whole place while you looked above during the podium ceremony.

Your eyes goes teary just watching Sunghoon smiling so widely while looking straight at you. His mother held your arm beside and got her widest smiles as well.

“Park Sunghoon!” everyone cheered so loudly after his name was called.

You screamed and clapped, admiring how he really shines. This is where he truly belongs, his natural habitat. He is meant for this. You pursed your lips, trying to hold back your tears.

He kissed the trophy while still looking straight to you. He mouthed ‘I love you’ and you responded, ‘I love you.’

Your heart races as the crowd cheers loudly for Park Sunghoon, the famouse ace racer of the team (f1 team) and also your boyfriend.

tag-list:

@candewlsy @nyfwyeonjun @sunghoonizz @jaehyuniewifeu @imjakes-wifeofc1 @deobitifull @enhypens-hoe @yzzyhee @nyxtwixx @crimnalseung @vixensss @jjklvr9 @gonorrheaisme @lhspeachie @myboyfriendjungkook @capri-cuntz @brooklyninawhitemustang @woniebae @ma-riiii @tinie03 @seokseokjinkim @iheartjayke @hybeboyenthusisast @minniejenseo @shelovsme @sjakewrld @shawnyle @skzenhalove @crimnalseung @cloud-lyy @vixialuvs @mitmit01 @mintdsunoo @metkayinassss @dojaejunging @ahnneyong @denleave1088 @velvetkisscs @saanvilovessunghoon @ilymarkchan @realrintaro @acolytees @tanisha2060 @stuckonclouds @outroherrr @yunhoswrldddd @smpfrpshlhs @missychief1404 @riyuukii @jungwonieee

[onriyuview]

gentle

genre: smut, 18+ mdni

wc: 660

summary: cuddling with riku turns into lazy oral

cw: oral (f receiving), riku needs to hold eye contact, dirty talk

a/n: this was requested, thank you for making me write about riku bc i've been dying to but didnt know how to go about it. also missing riku hours now that he's on hiatus :(

riku is just sooo so cuddly. he asks his members for hugs just to recharge his energy and it’s so endearing. this detail about him doesn’t change, but intensifies with you.

imagine him coming home after a long hectic work day of jam packed schedules, barely having time to think to himself.

he immediately comes to you, not even bothering to change into comfier clothes or wash up first, he just wants you right now.

he’s putting his full body weight on you, flopping onto the bed and not moving. his face is buried in your neck and you put your phone down to welcome him happily. he only adjusts so he can breathe better, but other than that it’s a comfortable silence.

you’re running your fingers through his hair, your nails lightly scratching at his scalp as he lets out little grunts of pleasure.

“feels good,” he mumbles into your skin, tickling you and making you smile in response.

“you worked hard today, baby,” you tell him gently, hands still carding through his dark locks.

after a few more moments of silence, you think your boyfriend fell asleep by the way his breathing steadied out.

just then, riku inhales deeply. he starts pressing kisses to the soft skin between your neck and shoulder, moving inward toward your chest. his eyes are still closed but he knows your body like his own, knowing exactly where to place his lips to make you shiver under him.

his fingers are pushing your shirt up a bit, just so he can drag his lips across your hip and stomach. you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in.

“i thought you were tired, babe,” you say gently, your hand finding its way back to the top of his head.

“just want you right now,” he mumbles into your skin, the vibrations sending sparks to your stomach. “been thinking about you all day today.”

you blush, biting your lip in anticipation as he moves down to settle between your legs. he looks up at you with tired eyes and your heart skips a beat. he doesn’t break eye contact as he pulls your bottoms down, leaving your panties on.

“haven’t even done anything and you’re wet,” he whispers, almost to himself. you gasp as he starts teasing you through the fabric, fingers rubbing against the damp material. “will you let me eat you out, my love?” his eyes lock with yours.

“yes,” you breathe out in response, your fingers tugging at his hair lightly.

he wastes no time, pulling your panties to the side and licking a stripe up from your entrance to your clit, stopping to place small kisses to the bud.

his eyes haven’t left yours the entire time, his sharp eyes blinking slowly when he attaches his mouth to your cunt, flattened tongue swiping at your slit.

“feels nice,” you say softly, your hand pushing back his hair to get a better view of him. you shut your eyes in pleasure, the feeling of him on your pussy overwhelming you.

“mm-mm,” riku tuts as he pulls away, making your eyes shoot open and eyebrows furrow in confusion. “keep looking at me or i’ll stop, baby.”

you whine at the loss of contact but don’t do anything to argue as he pulls your panties down, putting them off to the side somewhere. his hands run along your hips and thighs as he settles back between your legs. the kisses he leaves are fleeting as he makes his way back to your pussy, running a finger along your dripping slit.

“just watch me and let me make you feel good, yeah?” he asks, his free hand squeezing at your hip before he returns his mouth to your heat, eating you out to his heart’s content to relieve the stress of the busy day he had before.

tags: @rikupid and @sminiac mwah ♡

[therealcocoshady]

The Eras of Eminem as a Dad

A/N : Ok guys. I’m ovulating and I just can’t stop thinking of what it would be like to have Marshall’s baby in different eras. 🥹 I have said it before and I’ll say it again : this man is the ultimate baby daddy !!! Tell me what Dad you’d think he would be haha. I’m going feral over the thought of having a baby with this fine specimen of a man !!!

1999 - 2004 : The debut era

* His career is just taking off, and it’s definitely a bad time. It’s hard enough for him to be able to be there for Hailie and deal with all the coparenting issues with Kim. I can see him freaking out over the news of your pregnancy.

* However, his new success and the money he is starting to make allows him to be in a more positive mindset than the one he was in when he had his first child. He always wanted to be able to provide and now, he can actually see it happening. It drives him to work even harder.

* He is not able to be very present throughout your pregnancy, but whenever you get to see him, he melts at the sight of your belly.

* He’s not home too often but he calls whenever he can, telling you how much he misses you, asking how you’re feeling.

* When the baby is born he is virtually unable to shut up about them. He talks about them all the time in interviews and it’s endearing.

* He tours a lot, he’s always on the move and, frankly, there’s a possibility that he’d miss the birth. God knows his life is hectic. But he absolutely makes it up to you and the baby and he tries to be there for every important moment of his children’s life.

2005-2009 : hiatus

* In this era, he was going through so much… I think it’s just as well that he didn’t get anyone pregnant.

* He’s got a lot on his plate. Between rehab, relapsing, Proof’s death…. If he learns about you being pregnant, he absolutely loses it.

* He’s not really present, mentally speaking. He’s there but not really there. You feel really lonely in your pregnancy.

* That being said, he tries to be a good father. He absolutely loves you and the baby, and it is one of the reasons he is fighting so hard to get sober. Fatherhood and his love for his kids is the trigger to him realizing he needs to get help because he wants to be there for them.

2009-2013 : Comeback era

* In this era, he is healthy and he has a more positive outlook on life. He is comfortable with his success, he has conquered a lot of demons…

* He focuses a lot on making good music so he’s busy. Him being so involved in his work makes you nervous when you tell him about your pregnancy.

* He’s really happy though. He is sober, happy to make music again and he gets to have a baby with the woman he loves ? He feels like the luckiest man in the world.

* He makes adjustments to his schedule to be able to be productive and be there for you and your child at the same time. He tries his best but he’s under a lot of pressure, though.

* Of course, family comes first. He was given a second chance at life and he will not be making the same mistakes.

* Speaking of mistakes, he’s certainly learned from the past decade and he wouldn’t be so open about his family life in interviews. He would tell the world he is a father again, share the baby’s name but quickly shut down questions about it in interviews.

2014-2018 : Maturity era

* Sort of the same as the previous era.

* I feel like it would be the one where he is most likely to be 100% happy and at peace with the idea of welcoming a baby. Maybe having actually tried for it ?

* In this era, he has matured a lot as an artist and as a person. He’s had to deal with a lot of criticism regarding his work and he has become really wary of social media and how weird fans can get about him and his personal life.

* If it were up to him, he wouldn’t say anything and keep his family life a secret. Maybe that’s exactly what he does.

* Your growing family is what keeps him going. He wants to make you proud. Family life keeps him grounded and he hold on tight.

* He is definitely emotional. His emotions are very raw. The songs he writes about you, your family and the baby are gut-wrenching. He is baring his soul, trying to be the best version of himself.

* He is very protective of you and the baby. It’s hard enough when criticism about his music get to him but if someone mentions your name or the baby’s ? He will go to war. Careers will be lost.

* Tours are much much shorter in this era, because he doesn’t care for it as much and because his ultimate priority is being their for his children.

2020-Present Day : Current era

* This man is in his fifties, he is secure, it’s all about hip-hop and he makes the music he wants, and does promo how he wants. Media appearances are more rare, performances are sparse…

* He’s in a good place mentally but being and « older dad » does something to him. It makes him kind of freak out when you discuss the topic of children. He knows he’d be a good father, he is able to be present and provide. But the perspective of doing it all over again ? He definitely freaks out a little.

* Your relationship, your pregnancy and even the baby’s existence are almost a secret. He has never been more secretive about his personal life.

* He is happier than ever with you and your little family. He does things however he wants and though he loves music it’s not his priority.

* He’s all about family and football. And sometimes he raps.

* I think present era is the one in which he is more likely to raise a little brat who gets spoiled to much. The GOAT title is secured, he’s wealthy, his other kids are grown up… the eldest went to public school and were encouraged to live a normal life but it might be different for the baby.

* He is so paranoid about people harassing his baby that it’s Nannies instead of daycare, private school instead of public one…

* And as if often happens when people have kids later in life : he is much more lenient. He will always insist on respect and manners but that baby has him wrapped around their finger and they probably won’t hear the word « no » from him too often.

[avatar-anna]

Assistant! Reader x Harry Styles Masterlist

April 2016

“Thank you for meeting me.”

Y/n settled into the seat across from Harry. Her hands curled tightly around her mug, apprehension seeping into her bones. “Of course.”

She had been surprised when Harry called her, asking to meet at the Beachwood Cafe. She hadn’t heard from him in months, not one call or text, not even an email. Not that Y/n really expected much when One Direction finally went on hiatus, but after zero communication, she wasn’t quite sure why he’d called her all these months later. 

“How are you? I haven’t seen you in ages,” Harry asked.

Y/n’s eyebrows raised a bit, but she answered him anyway after taking a sip of her coffee. “Fine, I guess. You?”

“Good!” Harry said excitedly. “Taking a break the last few months has been…I don’t know. Peaceful, but odd, you know? I’ve never had so much time to myself before.”

“Must be nice,” Y/n said, trying to hide the irritation in her voice.

“Yeah, but I realized that I kind of miss it,” he said. “I knew once we decided on the hiatus that I wanted to do my own thing, but I thought I would take a longer break, but I feel like I’m…itching to get back to work.”

That definitely seemed like Harry. Y/n had worked for him for years, and even when there were breaks between tours, he was hard at work—writing, going to Fashion Week, collaborating with other artists, vocal training, even trying new recipes in his state-of-the-art kitchen, which led to a phone call at one in the morning where Harry asked Y/n to come over and see if his macrons tasted "fluffy enough." It seemed only right that he rested for mere months before starting a new project. She could practically picture him at either of his homes in LA or London, scribbling in his leatherbound journal or playing new melodies on his guitar or piano (and the occasional late-night pastry party). As long as she’d known him, Harry had been a hard worker through and through. A little on the wild side when he had some tequila in him, but when it came down to his career, he was focused, determined. 

“Good for you,” Y/n said, meaning it. She always thought he was capable of more. “So what comes next for you? Have you recorded songs already?”

“Not quite. I’m planning a trip to Jamaica to write and record there. It’s remote, serene, a good place to get away. So we’ll have to start booking flights and places to stay and—”

“I’m sorry, ‘We?’” Y/n asked, her brow furrowing with confusion. 

Harry matched her look of confusion with one of his own. “Yeah, I mean—I need you. I can’t do this without you.”

The sentiment warmed Y/n’s heart for a moment, but his immediate assumption that she would drop everything just because he asked her to brought the irritation swarming back. “Mr. Sty—Harry, you know I don’t work for you anymore, right?”

“What do you mean? Are you talking about the hiatus? I just thought we could all use some time off, but…I guess I just thought—”

Harry didn’t finish his thought, but his cheeks were flushed with embarrassment. Y/n would’ve found it cute if he hadn’t been so dense. Resentment still circled around her like a fog, and she wouldn’t let it go so easily, she couldn’t. 

“I was employed by your management, Harry. To be an assistant to a member of One Direction,” Y/n explained. “I was let go. I had to quickly find another job doing something else.”

“Oh.���

Y/n supposed she should’ve anticipated being fired, but she didn’t. There was a lot of information that she was privy to that most people weren’t, secrets that were tightly bound by an NDA when she was first hired, but talks of the hiatus was very hushed. She knew to suspect that somewhere down the line the boys would finally take a break, but it came a lot sooner than she was prepared for, and she was left jobless before she had the chance to line something else up. Y/n thought that Harry would give her the courtesy of a warning, but he said nothing about it to her, didn’t offer much except a side hug after One Direction’s last performance.

So yeah, she was a little bitter.

“I’m—I’m really sorry, Y/n. I know it doesn’t make up for…all of this and everything you went through, but I am truly sorry.”

“Thank you.” 

Y/n believed him, believed that he was sorry for everything that went down, but it still hurt to know she wasn’t someone he was close enough to talk to about all of this at the time. She was Harry’s assistant, she knew that, but they’d been through a lot together. But he was ever the professional it seemed, and it was her job to remember that, not his.

When she realized her coffee was finished, Y/n stood up. “Well, it was good seeing you, Harry. Good luck on your next project. I’m sure it’ll be great.”

“Wait, but—you’re not—you‘re leaving?”

“I have to run a couple errands before work," Y/n explained. She rested her hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. “But really, no hard feelings. I wish you all the best.”

She left Harry at the table, heading for the front of the cafe and toward the busy street beyond. Her heart felt heavy as she walked away, but she tried to shake the feeling that she was walking away from more than just her boss. Former boss. Like her mother always reminded her, she couldn’t be a personal assistant forever.

“Wait!”

Y/n turned on instinct, eyes widening as Harry jogged after her, his little bun bouncing with each step. He skidded to a stop in front of her, green eyes wide and searching. For what, she wasn’t sure, but the heat of his gaze was enough to make butterflies stir in her stomach.

Putting on her best front, she raised her eyebrows, waiting for Harry to say whatever he needed to.

“I wasn’t kidding earlier. I need you, Y/n,” he said. “I—You’re the only one who really knows me, who I know will have my back no matter what. I need a familiar face in my corner.”

I need you, Y/n. Those words were her kryptonite. Year after year, Y/n heard Harry's voice over the phone as he roused her from sleep, read the text messages while she was getting her nails done or watched TV in her hotel room, or on the rare occasion she went on a date. But she had to hold strong. Y/n had been devastated by her sudden layoff, but now she had a life, and she didn't want to get sucked back into Harry's very alluring web of charming smiles, cheesy jokes, and endless adventure. That was his life, not hers.

“I have a job, Harry. I can’t just drop everything and quit because you suddenly want me to—”

“What are they paying you?”

Y/n’s brows furrowed. “Excuse me?”

Harry pushed on. “What are they paying you? I’ll double it.”

Scoffing in disbelief, she said, “It’s not about the money—”

“Triple,” he countered. Harry took her hand in his and squeezed it. He looks desperate, Y/n thought.

“I can’t just quit my job because you remembered I existed,” Y/n said quietly, pulling her hand out of his. She clung to her resolve, hoping Harry would make this easy and just let it go, let her go. “I—I deserve more.”

More of what, she wasn’t sure, but Y/n knew it was true. Harry only reached out because he needed something from her, and that hurt more than she cared to admit. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” Harry said, looking down at his shoes. A pair of scuffed Chelsea boots he wore practically everywhere. Y/n had bought him a pair of Vans one year, an attempt to switch up his wardrobe, but he still chose the boots nine times out of ten. “Just—At least think about coming to Jamaica. Please?”

“Harry—”

“Not as my assistant. As a guest. A friend,” Harry amended. “We’re planning on staying at a huge villa, and I want to make up for being an idiot. Just—Just think about it. Please.”

Despite everything, Y/n found herself wanting to say yes. It was that magnetic pull she felt toward Harry that had kept her working for him for so long. He was an important person in her life, and up until he’d all but ghosted her after the hiatus, she thought she was important to him too. In spite of his misgivings, Y/n still wanted to believe that she was. 

It was so stupid, but it felt good to be wanted by him. She was an idiot, she knew that. But her friendship with Harry was legitimate, he'd just acted like a complete idiot. She'd known him long enough to know he was very capable of acting like an idiot. So even though she shouldn’t, even though she had carefully lined up her reasons not to in a little line, she started to cave. 

But she couldn’t make the decision now. Not when Harry was looking at her with pleading green eyes and his sad little puppy dog face, his cologne dizzyingly lovely. No, she owed it to herself to really think about what she wanted. If getting sucked back into that whirlwind was worth it. Worth getting her heart properly broken when she knew he would never feel the same about her.

"I'll show up at work, you know," Harry said. "I'm not above it. You might think I am, but I'm not."

Y/n had no doubt in her mind that he would. Along with being an idiot, Harry was very stubborn, and very persistent. She had years with him to know that. Did she really need Harry Styles showing up at her place of work?

“Fine, I’ll think about it,” she finally said, trying to pretend like her heart was screaming to just agree. But her heart was an impulsive little shit that was bound to get her in trouble.

Harry’s face broke out into a wide grin, one that displayed those famous dimples and lit up his entire face. It was hard to feel like he didn't think she was the only person on earth to exist when he looked like that, like he was convinced she’d already said yes. “I’ll take it.”

[cinnamostar]

three dates to fall in love

part one. part two. part three. part four. part five (here). part six (coming soon).

pairing : hyunjin x gn!reader

summary : after a two year long unspoken hatred, hyunjin and you are forced to be costars in a romantic series, but when it comes to filming any of the romance scenes, you both utterly fail and are unable to get through your lines. the director threatens to take your roles away if you two aren't able to get past this within the next week, which spawns the genius idea from both your managers: can you learn to (fake) fall in love in seven dates and save your careers?

wc : 2.5k

cw : actor!au, enemies to lovers ?!, slowburn , not proofread, nothing crazy :)

a/n : im back from my hiatus and omggg i graduated from my masters program wahoooo! here's part five. let me know what you think! theres not much going on here to be honest........ its pretty chill

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“Yo,” Changbin answers from the other end of the line, his heavy breaths echoing through the call.

“Are you still working out?” Hyunjin asks incredulously, pulling the phone back to check the time, “You said you were going to the gym two hours ago and you’re still there?”

“Gotta keep these bad boys in shape, ya know?” Changbin teases, a giggle ringing through as he is most, (and he is), checking himself out in the mirror, “What’s up though? Did you just get home?”

“At this point, you look more like a bodyguard than my manager.”

“I take that as a compliment! Thank you very much, but I believe you have something to discuss with me, hm?”

“I mean, it went well?” Hyunjin responds with uncertainty in his voice, causing Changbin to sigh from the other end of the line.

“Is that all..? Are you just going to call me every time to tell me only that?” Changbin asks with annoyance, unable to understand the actor’s unwillingness to share anything more about the arrangement he found himself in. “You know, I’ll just end up calling Chan and hearing it from him instead…”

“Huh?”

Changbin smirks to himself, knowing that would capture the younger’s attention, “Yeah, you know, Y/N has a lot to say. I know all about it. It’s the only way I know how things are going.”

“What do they say?”

“Why do you care?”

“I just do.”

“And I should tell you because…?”

Hyunjin frowns at the back-and-forth, feeling peeved Changbin, his manager, wasn’t divulging any information upfront, “Because I’m the one going on dates with them and I should probably know…?”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me how today went.”

“It went well, I already told you that.”

“Tough luck, buddy, that won’t do. How unfair, especially when Y/N has sooo much to say,” Changbin dramatically mocks a sob, “Yet you, oh, you have so little to offer. It’s like you’re not enjoying any of it.”

Hyunjin rolls his eyes at his antics, frustration bubbling within him, “I am enjoying it and it is going well. Is that good enough for you?”

“Nope.”

“Okay.”

“Okay… So, can I hang up now?”

“No.”

“So you want me to stay on the phone in silence with you?” Changbin asks, a smirk still plastered on his face because he knew, eventually, Hyunjin would relent to Changbin’s teasing. It was always like this, Hyunjin was hard to read and never shared much with Changbin, which honestly makes his job as his manager a lot more difficult than he’d like. The only times Hyunjin would be transparent with him about his emotions was when he was complaining about something, or the time he panickedly called him after his very unfortunate date with you, and how he realized what a big mistake he had made. Other than that, Hyunjin lips were always sealed tight. Either because he was a private person or was bad at vocalizing his feelings, Channgbin didn’t know, but he was getting annoyed at Hyunjin calling him after every day with the same three words every time. ‘It went well.’ God, those words were pissing him off and he felt like his time was being wasted because now, he had to call Chan and find out from him what was going on. After another few moments of silence, Changbin sighs once more, “Okay, I’m hanging up now —”

“N-no, wait!” Hyunjin interrupts him, a slight tremor in his voice.

“Okay, now I’m waiting.”

“Today went well, and I know I already said that, let me finish,” rambles Hyunjin, the words slowly clawing their wait up his throat, “It’s just… it’s a lot nicer than I thought it would have been. They’re super kind and welcoming to me even though I was a complete asshole to them.”

Changbin smiles victoriously to himself, ecstatic to finally hear this simple, yet salient confession out of the younger boy, “Oh, that’s good then. Sounds like they’re doing their best to make it work.”

“Yes, but I also… feel really bad about it too,” Hyunjin grimaces at the guilt he had been trying to ignore, it sneaking up to the forefront of his mouth as he speaks, “I really don’t think I deserve any of this from them, but they’re treating me sorta like nothing ever happened before and it’s a little weird to get use to this side of them. The more I realize how wrong I was about them, the shittier I feel.”

“Man, I don’t blame you, but I think you gotta give yourself some credit. It sounds like you both are handling this weird situation the best you can. Have you told them this?”

“Yeah, and that’s what makes this feel worse. They were so sweet about it, they comforted me when I was the one who hurt them,” groans Hyunjin, pinching the bridge of his nose as he squeezes his eyes shut, “And they… they said they need time to forgive me, which is fine! I get that entirely, but… I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive myself until they do?”

“Mhm, I understand what you’re feeling isn’t easy, but don’t you think you should at least try to be nicer to yourself? I mean… It sounds like Y/N cares about you enough, and if they want you to feel better about the situation, shouldn’t you try for their sake?”

“I guess, but it’s not that easy, Changbin –”

“I never said it was easy,” Changbin responds pointedly, “But wallowing up in guilt is no way to be living either, I’m sure Y/N knows that too and doesn’t want you beating yourself up this much about it when you’re both trying to move forward.”

“I don’t know…”

“Just give it a try, it won’t hurt. You can hold yourself accountable and still be nice to yourself. Alright, but I have to go now, so byeee!”

Hyunjin frowns, “Wait, no, you’re supposed to tell me–” only for him to be cut off by the sound of the call ending, “... what Y/N said…”

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Hyunjin decided to take both yours and Changbin’s advice to heart and do his very best to practice compassion, yet he forgot how terribly difficult that was until the next day arrived. In theory, it should be simple to just be nicer to himself, but his heart kept contorting and aching with guilt throughout the day, it becoming too much to bear as he tried to figure out how to control that emotion. He had to eventually learn to be in your presence without that harrowing, bottomless pit that would form in his stomach, especially if you two were going to be costars for the rest of filming.

So here he was, his face and ears tinged with red as he sat across you on a picnic blanket, an assortment of foods between you two, and a gentle breeze causing locks of your hair to dance. Despite the chilly weather, Hyunjin could feel himself being covered in what he can only describe as a cold sweat while his stomach flipped onto himself. He was nervous, anxious even, and he had zero clue on how to deal with what he called guilt, shame, humiliation. He wasn’t sure which word was the best descriptor for this very moment, but he could barely sit still, constantly fidgeting as he tried to turn his gaze away from you, hoping the blues of the lake would ease his nerves that had not stopped rapid firing since noon. 

“You okay?” You ask, lifting a sushi piece to your mouth as you eyed Hyunjin with a cocked up eyebrow.

He freezes up for a moment, before forcing a nervous smile with a nod, “Oh, yeah, I’m fine!” He tries to force his voice into a more cheery tone, but he can tell you could see right through him. Somehow, you could read the faintest microexpressions from him, but he’s thankful to see you shrug your shoulders and not press on any further. It was almost as if you had the ability to read his mind, knowing when it was right to question his behavior or just let him revel in his own thoughts.

“Well, you should eat some more! I need some help finishing all this food Changbin ordered for us,” you laugh, picking up a piece of sushi between your chopsticks and lifting it towards him, “Here, open up!” you say in a teasing tone.

He rolls his eyes, “You know, I can feed myself,” but he felt his stomach bubble up with inexorable nerves, his words almost getting caught in his throat. You playfully pout at his words, “Oh, c’mon, just eat it! I know you want to.” You wiggle the sushi in front of his face in some poor attempt to entice him, but it was only causing him to become uncomfortably warm as he did his best to look anywhere that wasn’t your face. “Fine, fine,” he responds, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible as he opens his mouth as you plop the sushi into it, the beating of his heart thumping loudly in his ears. 

“Good, right?” You smile.

He nods his head, his eyes crinkling at the overwhelming flavor as hums in agreement, “Wow, yeah, which one was that?” 

“Mmm, I think that one is toro salmon? I’m not sure,” you giggle at his reaction, feeling pleased with yourself that you managed to whittle away at the awkwardness he wore around you. Hyunjin was constantly on edge around you, the nerves obvious in the frown lines of his forehead, and while you could understand why, you were hoping he would start to loosen up around you as time went on. Despite everything that has occurred over the past two years, you were starting to yearn for the friendship you and Hyunjin once had and wished to be able to return to that comforting time. 

However, it was never that simple, as your desire for his friendship was often overshadowed with memories of his cruel words, how easily he spat them out to you without a moment of hesitation. A moment of innocent banter could just take you back to that time because somehow, his banter and cruelty shared a similar inflection, just enough to cause your eyes to prick with tears if you noticed it. The lasting impact his words had on you was a stark reminder for you to not so easily forgive him, to not forget what he was once capable of. But no matter how hard you tried to look past it and solely focus on your friendship with him, there was this inexplicable rift between you two, a hurdle neither you could just quite jump over, though perhaps it was this mutual understanding that allowed you both to understand each others’ quietness. It was strange, you two had become strangers that understood the language your souls’ whispered, but neither retained that fluency and were struggling to recall the words you once spoke.

The silence returns, enveloping you both as the wind hushedly howls, the sounds of birds chirping filling in the empty pages of dialogue as you each continue to eat. Every now and then someone would comment on the food, how good it tasted and thanking God for letting Changbin set up such a delicious day, finishing the last bits of sashimi that was left on the plate.

“Oh jeez, I’m so full,” you mutter, sleepiness slowly creeping its way into your body, “Ah, but we gotta take pictures, I don’t wanna deal with a whiny Changbin.”

Hyunjin snorts, knowing all too well the fit his manager would throw if his date plans were not followed through, especially when he made it clear to the both of you that he wanted proof that you two actually did take those pictures. All he wanted was for each of you to take photos of the other, a mini photoshoot by the lake, while also insisting it would be a great post for either of your instagrams. “Yeah, let's not do that to ourselves.” He lifts himself up from the floor, anxiously offering a hand to help you up, quickly retracting after you stood while ignoring the electric nerves bouncing at the palm of his hands. 

“I’ll take your pictures first, okay?” You say, your phone already in hand as you gesture to him to stand in front of the lake, “Luckily, the sun is out, so maybe we will get some nice photos to post,” you add on. Meanwhile, Hyunjin, very stiffly, stood ahead of you, unsure what to do with his body and how to pose. Normally, he is good at this kind of stuff, he has done plenty of photoshoots in the past, but he was terrified at the thought of embarrassing himself in front of you. Before, he had never once had this concern, this worry, he didn’t know why these thoughts kept forming each time he thought of you. It clouded his mind, preventing him from seeing any logic or reason. “Alright, model boy, do your thing, I know you know how to work the camera,” you call out, snapping Hyunjin out of his trance. 

If he wasn’t sweating before, he most definitely was now as he body overheated under the sudden pressure he put onto himself as he robotically posed, and you, as always, couldn’t help but notice the lack of elegance he usually carried himself with. “Oh, c’mon, what’s up with you today?” 

“I… I don’t know, I’m just nervous… I think?”

“Well, I can see that,” you sigh, placing a hand on your hip, “But, you got no reason to be! It’s just me!”

“I think it being you is the issue,” he murmurs out, not really meaning for the words to slip out his mouth.

You press your lips into a straight line, “Right, I get that. Sooo, how about you pretend it’s not me taking the pictures, but Changbin?”

Hyunjin breathes out a sarcastic laugh, “Oh, yea, that will totally work, you make a very convincing Changbin.”

“Oh, right, let me just-” you roll up the sleeves of your shirt, exposing your biceps as you make a poor attempt to flex them, “How about now, is this working?”

Hyunjin found himself laughing loudly at your very sudden and unexpected antics, his stomach flipping onto itself as a flurry of affection rushed over him. You looked absolutely ridiculous, yet something about it was incredibly endearing despite the goofiness that radiated off of you. However, the sound of the camera shuttering from your phone quickly made him pause his laughter. “Hm, I think you look pretty cute in this,” you smile, turning the screen towards him to see you had captured a photo of him in the midst of his giddiness. He felt his cheek flush at your words, the shyness that had temporarily disappeared made its presence known. “I guess it’s not bad, just… a little different from what I usually post online.”

“Good different, right?” You ask, a smile still gracing features as the sun kisses your features, the wind gently brushing through your hair. 

“Definitely a good different.”

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taglist (closed): @kopikokrunch @icouldntcareless22 @kidrauhlschik @hhwangsmoon @lestayzone @cupidcures @sleepyxxhead @pinkpunkdynamite @kaiyaba @palindrome969 @aokiss @annybah @tigerroarsinthelight @bubbly-moon @nattisbored @jin-from-the-block @hyuneyeon

[heechwe]

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖⤷.𖥔 ݁ ˖.ᐟ

𝑰 𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑩𝑬𝑳𝑰𝑬𝑽𝑬 this blog has officially hit 2k followers! After coming from a years-long hiatus and seeing the XO music video, I didn't know how to come back and write even if I knew writing was such a big part of my life I wanted to reinvigorate. And now, because of so many of you, I have found my passion and creativity again, and this is just a post to thank those who have been here for me in this new phase of my blog! 𝑼𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑹 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑪𝑼𝑻 is where I'm going to be super mushy so beware. I can't help it y'all, I'm a Gemini!

𝑭𝑰𝑹𝑺𝑻𝑳𝒀, I would not be able to continue on if I didn’t have all of you, truly. I feel incredibly supported and appreciated by all the new friends I have made over the past few months being back and also being apart of the networks I am in now. I’ve realized that culminating a community is a key element to the creative process for me, and if it takes a village to raise a baby, it takes a whole community for a story to come to life. I don’t know where I’d be without having so many resources and helping hands whenever I need them, and I appreciate it so much. I could not write what I have recently without all of you guys in my corner, so here’s to say I love you all very much and I am eternally grateful. 🤍🤍🤍 Just know if I didn’t tag you you are still tagged in my heart forever and I LOVE YOU!! @seokgyuu @loserlvrss @yvnempire @temptaetions @haologram @gluion @heesuncore @jayparked @mini-mews @babeyun @won4kiss @luvlucia @00kittenz @hollyoongs @yoursjaeyun @sungbeams @okiedokrie-main @jenoslutie @mygnolia @kwanisms @enreveriee @shadowkoo @varietae @sweetvenomnet @svthub @k-vanity

𝑺𝑬𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑫𝑳𝒀, This is just to say that this community of writers is so inspiring. I see so many incredible writers every day and I am in awe of their talent, hard work, and creativity. I aspire to be as talented and dedicated as the people I aspire to. This is all to say I just wanted to highlight a few names here because literally everything these writers make is gold, honestly, and I am a huge fan. 🤍🤍🤍 @yeonzzzn @simpjaes @taeghi @yzzyhee @flwrstqr @paarksunghoon @ja3yun @jjunieworld @p4ranormaluv

𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑭𝑰𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑳𝒀, full-heartedly, I want to say thank you to every person who follows me now and has been following me for a long time. I am surprised every day when I see a like, reblog, or comment praising my work. Too often, I deal with bouts of Imposter Syndrome and wonder if I am cut out to write stories that live up to the ideas in my head. And with even one person who appreciates my work, it uplifts me a million times over. Even when I feel my work is not up to par, you guys are there to remind me my work is not worthless and I’m not shouting into a void. So, I am so grateful to be here with all of you and happy to share what I love to do with you guys, and as long as you want to read, I will be here to write. And I appreciate all of you letting me hold onto my first love. 🤍🤍🤍

[doyouevenshipbr0]

gruvia drabble

author’s note: HI!!! ok so im here. im risen. im inspired. here’s something FUNNYYYY about the inspo for this… so its based off of a theory from an anti gr*via post LMAOOO this feels soooo bitchy but i swear to GOD it is not a call out it is just genuinely something that gave me inspiration. so basically an anti said that gray doesnt actually have feelings for juvia and he is just saying that he does because he feels indebted to her for saving his life. sorta kinda something like that. im not gonna go back and look bc tbh i may have blocked the account? JFJDKDJDJ idk. anyways. here’s this. you’ll see where my heads at in a sec bc ur probably like “ok so how tf is that gonna be a gruvia fic” just WAIT ok my gears are turning. this one is a lot longer (and possiblyyyyyy OOC but in my defense!!!!!!!!! picture how gray would act if he were in an established relationship with juvia. like boyfriend girlfriend. for six months.) than it should have been BUT lets call it even for my million year hiatus. ENJOY BABIES!

~

Although Juvia had hardly gotten any sleep this past night, rolling around in her sheets all night with excitement, she certainly walked with a spring in her step when she eagerly made her way to the local convenience store.

She would’ve been lying if she said she hadn’t thought about setting up camp outside the little shop that night so that way she could hold those glorious, glossy, pieces of paper bound together by glue as soon as physically possible. Fortunately, she was reasoned with when Gray quickly pointed out the ridiculousness of the notion after she had brought it up to him as a genuine idea.

Making sure to get up bright and early the day of the big release would do. As long as she would be the first person in the store with the very first copy of that week’s edition of Sorcerer Magazine in her hands, she would be content.

Naturally, Gray initially rejected the idea. It was so completely and irrevocably unlike him. An interview about himself, just him, was a tall order, but an interview with him and Juvia, as a couple? There wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell. For Gray, opening up to the people closest to him was hard enough. Even finally getting the nerve to ask Juvia on a date was something that took a great deal of time and effort. Things so personal like this were hard for him.

All these years in Fairy Tail, and he’s hardly spoken more than a few sentences to Sorcerer Magazine, let alone sitting down for a tell-all interview.

Unfortunately for him, his enthusiastic water mage was over the moon when Sorcerer Magazine reached out to them for an interview.

Public displays of affection were never Gray’s strong suit, and after finally realizing his feelings for Juvia, he still isn’t a fan. As much as he would deny it, he had become quite a softy with Juvia behind closed doors, but as soon as those doors open, he retreats back to his shell-like and cool exterior.

Even after a good six months of dating, Juvia really didn’t mind. It’s not like he acted like he didn’t know her. They went on dates, they were finally an official item, and he would even do subtle things like resting his hand lightly on her leg under the table at the guild hall or give a “Love you, see you later” loud enough for Happy to hear even knowing he’ll snicker and tease Gray about it for the next few minutes.

All in all, they were both content with the amount of their relationship they let others see.

So something like an interview with a very popular magazine would certainly throw a wrench in all of that for Gray.

But Juvia begged, and begged, and begged, and finally, once they came to an agreement about the types of questions they would answer and the depth of their answers, Gray agreed to the interview. After all, it would make her happy, and he was comfortable enough with himself and his self esteem at this point to be able to do this for her.

Juvia was elated with how the interview went. Of course, she had done most of the talking, but she was happy to do so. She tried her best to hold back on doting too much as to save Gray some embarrassment, and she thought she mostly succeeded. Even when questions got a little personal, like asking about how Juvia got the scar on her side (of course, with her new stripping habit when in battle, her scar is easily visible for large enough periods of time), she answered as succinctly and lightly as possible while still giving an honest answer.

So to say the headline that Juvia saw that morning plastered on the front of that cold and stiff magazine was horrifying was an understatement.

“Gray and Juvia: Girlfriend or Guilt Trip?”

Juvia wasn’t sure how many times the clerk at the store had asked “Miss? Are you alright?” before her consciousness finally came back into this orbit. She blinked for the first time in what may have been minutes, and looked up at the clerk. Without giving a reply, she looked back down at the magazine, and saw the picture they used, which was Juvia clinging to Gray, wrapped around his arm.

Gray’s face in the picture became warped by a water droplet hitting the cover, and then another droplet, and then another. It wasn’t until she looked back up at the clerk who looked even more concerned than before that she realized those water droplets came from her eyes.

“Sorry.” She quietly said as she handed the magazine to the cashier so he could scan it, handed him a bill of some value that she wasn’t entirely sure of, took the magazine back into her trembling hand, and left the store without getting her change.

Juvia got back to her apartment even quicker than she got to the store that morning. Every part of her mind told her not to do it, not to read the magazine, but then why did she buy it? Her brain screamed at her to put it down, not to go to the page of that article, but then why did her fingers frantically flip to page 14, just as instructed on the cover?

Each word was not only a dagger to Juvia’s very soul, but also a twisted reasoning and explanation, that Juvia fully believed by the end of her read. She couldn’t quite make the words into sentences or the sentences into paragraphs but as she buried herself in her covers, some phrases repeatedly burned into her mind and punched her in the gut such as “clingy”, “desperate”, and “leech”.

The worst part of it all weren’t the attacks at Juvia, but it was what this all meant for Gray. He was trapped.

He was her prisoner.

A prisoner that was bound to her out of a crippling feeling of guilt and sense of responsibility.

She may have been in her bed writhing in agony and mortification over these words for hours until a bang on her apartment door jolted her back to reality.

“Juvia? You in there?” Said that voice she knew all too well. How could someone’s voice be both such a comfort and a misery? She needed to hear him more than anyone at this moment and yet, she couldn’t bear to hold him hostage for another second.

She hoped if she said nothing, he would go away. But this was not the case.

The door slowly opened. “Juvia? Are you here? I’m coming in.” She winced as his voice got closer, now coming from her living room.

Her apartment wasn’t very big, so he found her in her bedroom in the next few moments. All Gray could see was a lump that was seemingly her body, crunched up into a balled up position, bound under her covers. Not even her face was out.

He stood in her doorway, not wanting to fully intrude “So you are here. Good.” He said calmly. “I was kinda’ worried when you didn’t meet me at the cafe this morning like you said you would.” Juvia then remembered they had plans to get breakfast together, bright and early, so she could gush about their big debut as a couple. Those plans changed

“Oh.” She said softly. “Juvia is sorry Gray-sama.” She tried to speak as clearly as she could knowing her voice was muffled underneath her blanket. “Juvia didn’t feel well this morning.” She lied.

“Oh.” Gray replied. He took a step into the room. “You sick?” He stretched his neck over her a bit to see if he could get any sort of glimpse at her face, but to no avail.

“Yes.” Juvia sniffled, using her congestion from her tears as fuel for her lies. “Juvia thinks it’s just allergies.”

Gray raised an eyebrow. Something was off. “Allergies? Since when do you have allergies?”

Juvia remembered in this moment that lying was not one of her strong suits. She was far too unapologetically herself to ever lie about anything, and she was just plain bad at it. To say she doesn’t have a good poker face would be putting it lightly.

“Well— Um—!” The pitch in her voice jumped with nervousness. “This spring has been a really brutal one! Pollen has been all over the place, and it’s driving Juvia crazy!” She finished with a fake sneeze, sealing her fate.

“It’s November.” Gray said, dryly.

Juvia’s face lit up a red so bright, she was sure she was glowing from underneath her covers.

After a few more moments of no response as Juvia tried to think of her next plot, Gray spoke again. “And I know you wanted to see me at the crack ass of dawn so you could show me the newest Sorcerer Magazine edition.” Gray sat down at the edge of her bed. “Even if you were in an accident that tore off all your limbs, you would’ve been at that cafe, magazine in hand, ready to explode from excitement. There’s no way some sniffles would stop you.”

There was another pause. Juvia meekly responded. “Well. Since Juvia’s body is made of water, it’s actually impossible for me to have all my limbs torn off.”

Gray barely let her finish the sentence. “Juvia!” He snapped back, fed up with the antics.

“And what does it really matter?!” Juvia erupted from her covers, finally revealing her swollen eyes, puffy and blotchy face, and ratted hair to Gray, whose eyes softened with concern. “It’s not like Gray-sama wants to have to wake up at 7:00 AM to meet Juvia for breakfast anyway! Just for Juvia to show you a magazine that I made you be apart of against your will.” Her eyes were welling with tears.

Gray was taken aback. His eyes widened with surprise and confusion. “Well-“

“Don’t deny it.” She cut him off. “We both know it’s true.” Tears dripped down her hot cheeks. “Just like it’s true how Juvia clings to you, and suffocates you, and even forced you into a relationship.”

“Whoa!” Gray sat up straight, and turned himself more to position himself facing her on the bed.

“And I always thought Gray-Sama just finally let Juvia in.” She interrupted him again, and gripped the sheets of her bed within her fists. “But it’s got nothing to do with that.” She looked down and gritted her teeth.

“Gray-sama feels indebted to Juvia since Juvia saved his life.” She clenched her eyes shut, and felt tears melt from her eyes in pools.

Her tense body jolted and almost instantly released tension as she felt Gray’s sturdy hands grab onto the sides of her arms, clutching her.

Juvia opened her eyes and looked up to find him just an arm’s distance’s length from her, staring at her with so much intent it almost looked like anger.

“What the hell are you talking about?” His voice is low and gravelly. Juvia was glad her eyes would cloud with more tears so she didn’t have to see his dark eyes piercing into her. She looked away.

“The magazine.” She pulled one of her arms from Gray’s grasp and pulled the magazine in question out from under the covers where it rotted away with her minutes ago.

Shamefully, she held Sorcerer Magazine out to Gray who promptly took it from her hands. She was brave enough to watch his face as he first locked eyes with the cover, but wasn’t brave enough for anything else. She saw his scowl quickly scan the bold words and looked back down as she squeezed her eyes shut.

This was it. The end. He would see those red capital letters shouting at him, telling him “Run!”, and he would heed the advice. Of course he would. The magazine was right, after all. He would turn to page 14 just as eagerly as Juvia did and read, in gruesome detail, the truth of their relationship. At least after all of this, he would finally be free from her venomous clutches. He would be absolved of all guilt, now that the article plainly told him the truth of their situation. He would no longer have to pretend-

CRRSHH.

Juvia’s cruel daze was broken by the sounds of Gray tearing the magazine in half.

And then another half, and then one more half for good measure.

“Gray-Sama!” Juvia exclaimed, shocked.

“What a load of shit.” Gray said plainly, but with distinct irritation in his voice.

“But! You didn’t even read the article! It explained how-“

“I don’t give a fuck.” He interrupted and finally made eye contact with her once again once the magazine was finally in enough pieces to do no more harm.

“Well, you should.” Juvia looked down at the shards of Sorcerer Magazine.

“And why is that?”

“Because it all made sense. From start to end. Our relationship. I clung and clung and clung to you, and when I saved your life, you had no choice but to break for me. You felt like you owed me something. And that debt was big enough to do something as crazy as convince yourself that you love me.” Although Juvia explained the situation plainly and logically, her own words were like poison in her mouth, as tears had no choice but to fill her eyes again. She looked up at Gray who was at a loss for words.

This was good. There was nothing left to say. She smiled softly at the thought of their departure, and thus, Gray’s freedom. She knew she needed to swallow her tears, so she did.

“It’s ok.” She shook her head with her smile still curled through her lips. “You don’t have to force yourself to do this anymore. The debt is repaid. These last six months Juvia has spent with you have been filled with enough love to keep me content for a lifetime. We can go back to being friends, and we can both be happy.” Juvia paused and watched Gray’s brow furrow.

“Thank you for everything, Gray-sama. Loving you this closely for this long has been everything Juvia has ever wanted.” She closed her eyes, and a single tear crept through. She smiled thinking about how even though they won’t be together, she will love him for the rest of her life, and that was more than she ever deserved.

“That’s enough.” Was all Gray said as he used one hand to pull her head directly towards him onto his shoulder, and he wrapped the other around the middle of her back. They were positioned awkwardly because of how they were sat on the bed, but Gray didn’t care or even notice.

“Have you officially lost your mind?” Was his next question, and his tone was still low, but a bit softer.

“Eh?” Juvia was at a loss for words. How did she en up in his arms?

“I knew this stupid interview was a bad idea.” He grumbled, talking to himself, but obviously for Juvia to hear. “It’s a magazine. Of course they would twist our words into whatever made for a juicier story.”

“But-“

“Juvia,” Gray cut her off and sighed. He grabbed her by her shoulders, putting her back at arm’s length, and looked directly at her. “Here’s the truth.” He said certainly. Juvia’s eyebrows clenched with confusion.

“I’m not with you because I feel like I owe you anything. I’m with you because you’re clingy, you’re relentless, and you’re obnoxious about what you want, which is me.” Gray was serious. Juvia looked down in embarrassment.

Gray gently swept her bangs out of her face, and his hand traveled to her cheek where he cupped her face. She had no choice but to look back at him.

“And I wouldn’t want it any other way.” He finally smiled, and Juvia’s heart oozed.

“What?” She whispered.

“You’re the most passionate, determined, loyal, genuine, kind person I’ve ever met in my entire life. You were the person who showed me that not only did I deserve love, but I was capable of loving. After all the people I lost, I had walls on top of walls on top of walls. And one by one, you broke each barrier down with a smile in your face.” He used a thumb to swipe away a tear, and Juvia let out a chuckle.

“Never in my life did I think I would think about stuff like romance or love. I was too scared. Now I think about having an actual future with somebody. And I know for sure that somebody is you.” Gray was saying things that Juvia only heard in her wildest dreams.

“Really?” Juvia grabbed onto the hand that held her face.

Gray nodded. “The way you’ve loved me has showed me how to love, Juvia. It took me awhile to get that, but I got it.”

He paused. He looked at the shred of magazing beneath him. “Not only is the person who wrote this article too stupid to know that I would never do something I don’t want to do or be with someone I don’t want to be with, but they’re also too stupid to know that you are the best thing in my life. A ‘guilt trip’ couldn’t be further from the truth.”

Juvia smiled, and instinctively her hand reached down for her scar, remembering how her sacrifice to save Gray’s life was what brought forth that term. Guilt trip. Gray took note of her hand placement, and knew she was thinking about this.

“Yes, you saved my life, and that may have been the moment that changed everything for me— for us, but not because I felt like I owed you, but because seeing how close I came to losing you made me realize that life is short. And up until then, I had spent all that time pushing everything off when I should’ve been letting you in. That moment made me finally realize that.” He looked at her deeply. “And I know I love you.”

“I love you too, Gray-sama.” Juvia finally allowed herself to melt in his arms, and he wrapped her up in his warm embrace.

“Y’knowww~” Juvia almost sang. “Saying you see a future with Juvia is practically the same thing as a proposal.” She snuggled closer into him.

“Alright, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” Gray reflexively replied.

Juvia giggled and nuzzled even further into Gray’s chest. “Thank you, Gray-sama.”

Gray and Juvia held each other for a little while longer as the discards of Sorcerer Magazine crumpled and bunched up within the covers where they sat, but they didn’t care.

They let the words be buried beneath them.

[syluscore]

Can you expand more on the Leon Kennedy Rape kink? (Also your writing is so good 🩵)

Wanna Be Your Victim

~Leon Kennedy x fem! Reader~

Word count: 2422

Title is from E.T. by Katy Perry, I was definitely listening to it on repeat while writing this. And thank you so much for the compliment anon and thank you for your patience. I'm back from my unplanned hiatus.

Content warnings: CNC, "rape kink/play" but I do not use the word rape in the actual story, somnophilia, bondage, restraints, gagged reader, blindfolded reader, small panic attack, sadism/masochism, degrading and praising, use of the green/yellow/red light safe words, daddy kink, bratty and argumentative reader, mean leon, slapping, hair pulling, subspace, oral (male receiving), blowjob, deepthroating, threats

!!!!!!!MINORS DNI! THIS POST IS 18+ ONLY!!!!!!!!!!

You grumbled as you stirred awake. Your eyes slowly opened, but the light never came. All you saw was complete darkness. You went to reach up, to rub your eyes or turn on a light or something, but you were unable to move your limbs. 

Alarm bells started sounding in your head as your senses came flooding back in. Something wasn’t right and you had to take deep breaths to keep yourself from panicking.

As you tried to suck in air through your mouth, you realized it was stuffed full with some sort of gag. You couldn’t speak, see, or move your limbs, so you did the only thing you could do in this situation.

You started to panic hard, thrashing around as much as you could in whatever binded your arms and legs together. You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t do anything. You’re hyperventilating and you can’t get your heart rate to slow down. If you could see, you’re sure the walls would be closing in on you; they fucking had to be.

That’s when you felt it, a hand rubbing circles into your back–your bare back. You couldn’t stop your tears from staining the blindfold covering your eyes. You were lost in total darkness, the goosebumps sourcing from your back making it worse.

Another hand brushed your hair from your face, doing their best to tuck it behind your ear around the blindfold. They continued to massage your back as they attempted to soothe you. Their gentle hushing makes you cry out harder. 

You're laying on your tummy with your limbs hog tied behind your back. You have to crane your neck to keep your airways open enough for bits of oxygen. The little amounts of air you’re soaking in through your nostrils isn’t enough. You know it’s the panic, but you’re desperate for more air, dying for it.

You feel the pillow beneath your face growing damp from your tears, snot, and drool. It’s disgusting and making you cringe internally, but you can’t focus on how nasty it is right now. Your body is breaking out in a cold sweat from the fear coursing through your veins.

You ache deep in your muscles from the strain of the position you’re in. The pain intensifies more every single second. Your body is being pulled so tightly in your binds that you have no leverage to relieve the tension. Try as you might, you can’t focus on anything besides the painful throbbing throughout your body.

Whoever is caressing you, brings their lips to your ear and kisses the lobe gently. You whimper at the contact as a deep chuckle fills your ears, a familiar chuckle.

“Don’t you want me, baby? You wanted me to take you and use you without your permission, didn’t you?” Leon’s taunting voice is up against your ear, sending chills down your spine. 

You whine through your gag in response. “What? Were you saying something? I can’t hear you darling, try speaking up for me.” He continues to tease you as the hand on your back wanders further down your body.

As his hand continues to roam, you realize you’re completely naked. He somehow took off your shirt and panties, then restrained you, all while you were sound asleep. The possibilities of what can happen to your body while you’re blissfully unaware is absolutely terrifying, exhilarating, arousing. 

His hand kneads into your bare ass before slipping his fingers down between your thighs. You reflexively try to pull away from the touch, but only succeed in causing yourself more pain as the restraints constrict around you. 

“Your pussy is crying for me. You get this soaked from being attacked by an intruder?” He chuckles at you. “Or could this pussy feel it was me? You don’t even have to see me for this pussy to scream out for daddy.”

You whine through the gag as his finger circles your clit teasingly. You're still crying despite knowing it’s just Leon and that you’re safe with him. The sensory deprivation has you needing an outlet to release the tension in your nerves and crying is the best thing you can manage currently.

Leon fiddles with something at the back of your head and then the gag is falling from your mouth. You start gasping for air, not giving a fuck how dry your throat feels. You feel your lungs expanding deeply in your chest at a proper amount of air entering them.

“Check in with me, what color are you?” Leon’s thumbs softly wipe the tears from your cheeks. You lean into his touch as much as you can with your body pulled so tightly.

“Ye-llow,” you manage to stutter out.

“We can slow down baby,” Leon assures you. “You can suck daddy’s cock at your own pace and you’ll let me know when you’re ready for me to fuck that throat?”

You nod as you cough from your dry throat.

“Good girl. Open your mouth for me and I’ll help you with your little problem.”

Your mouth falls open for him and he runs his thumb across your bottom lip. You hold your mouth open, unsure of what he’s going to do next.

The tip of his tongue connects with the tip of yours as his saliva transfers slowly from his mouth to yours. He pulls away and you swallow his spit down your throat, lubing your sore throat. You huff out a breath in relief.

The tip of his cock brushes against your lips as he pumps himself, preparing to be taken into your mouth. You hear him spit before the pumping of his fist becomes louder with the newly added wetness.

You gently lull your tongue limply out of your mouth. His tip brushes against your tongue and you taste his precum. You whimper at the taste, causing him to chuckle.

“You hungry for my cock baby? Wanna give me a taste? Come on, take my fat cock in that slutty hole of yours.” 

You flick your tongue up and down the tip of his cock, more of his precum setting into your taste buds. His hands gently caress over your messy, sweaty hair, but he doesn’t seem to mind the disarray.

You finally take the tip into your mouth, wrapping your lips around his cock while sucking him gently. He moans loudly at the sensation, his fingers intertwining in your hair. You swirl your tongue around him as he fights to keep himself from thrusting deeper into your mouth.

“You’re so fucking good at that. Take me in, just like that baby.”

You suck his cock deeper into your mouth. His cock sits heavily on your tongue as your drool pools in your mouth and coats him sloppily. Your saliva mixed with his makes the blowjob all that much messier.

“You ready for me to fuck that tight throat?” 

You nod as best as you can while keeping your mouth firmly wrapped around his cock.

“Relax for me, let me in baby,” he encourages you as he eases his dick deep into your throat, stuffing your mouth full of the evidence of his well endowment. “That’s it. Give me that tight throat, choke on my cock.”

He begins thrusting in and out of your mouth, slowly picking up his speed. You fight against the urge to gag, but his cock is so fucking big you can’t keep it together.

He groans as tears spill down your cheeks and gag deeply around him. You look up at him, embarrassed by the noises you’re making, but they seem to spur him on. You test your theory, purposely allowing yourself to gag around him. His eyes roll into the back of his head as he grips your hair tightly, pain surging across your scalp. Yeah, you don’t think he minds at all.

“Take it all the way down that fucking throat. I’m gonna fuck this throat raw and then I’m gonna do the same to that fucking cunt.”

You whimper around his cock, causing him to shiver at the sensation. 

“I’m not surprised a whore like you likes that idea. You need to be stuffed full of me, huh? Need filled to the fucking brim by my cum?”

Your eyes meet his and you can’t help it as they roll into the back of your head. He smirks down at you victoriously. He knows what his dirty words do to you. You can’t give him attitude, can’t deny how it affects you when your mouth is so full of him.

“Come on, baby. Take my dick deeper. If you impress me enough I’ll give that pussy what it desperately wants.”

You want to be embarrassed by how mindlessly you obey his commands, but the truth is you don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks. If they had Leon Kennedy’s dick down their throat, they would understand. But only you get the honor of taking him like this. And you’ll be damned if you don’t give it your all, solidifying how useful he views you. You want to take his cock like no one else ever could. You want him as addicted to you as you are to him. 

So you take his fat cock deep into your tight, wet throat. Giving yourself over to him completely, giving him the slack to force himself past the resistance. 

You can’t breathe as he clogs your throat, stuffing it–overstuffing it. Do you care? You try to care, but who can focus on breathing while being used like this? If your throat wasn’t meant to take him like this, then why the fuck does his cock fit in it so perfectly?

He pulls his cock from your throat and you suck in deep breaths through the fresh opening. His hands rest on his hips as he also composes himself.

“Any longer in that throat and I was gonna come all the way into your fucking soul. And we can’t have that, can we? Need to fill your cunt up with my come so you know exactly who it belongs to.”

He pulls your blindfold off and you look up into his eyes as he cockily smirks at you. He poked fun at you for having this fantasy. But look at him enjoying it so blatantly, filling his role without complaint. It awakens the fire deep inside of you, that deep need to disobey him, to fight against him. To show him exactly how crazy you can drive him too. 

“Fuck you, you fucking creep! Don’t fucking touch me! You’re nothing but a freak, you know that?”

His smile falls, turning into a deep scowl. You continue to stare up at him, shooting him a daring and brave look. Excitement causing a giddy feeling in your gut. Anticipating how he’ll punish you, how he’ll make you eat your words.

“Wanna repeat that for me?”

“You heard me, asshole. I don’t know what mommy or daddy issues you have, but it’s not my fucking problem. Maybe if you weren’t such a loser, someone would willingly open their legs for you.”

He laughs loudly, throwing you off before his open palm is colliding with your cheek. You’re so caught off guard, you can’t hold back the gasp that falls from your throat. The stinging pain flaring up in your cheek has your breathing faltering. 

“Apologize. Beg for my fucking forgiveness.” He demands, gripping your chin between his thumb and pointer finger painfully.

You want to shake your head, to piss him off by not speaking, but his grip has your head locked in place. “Fuck you,” you mumble out through your smushed cheeks.

He releases your face, but your relief is short lived.

His hand connects with your cheek again and before you’re able to react to the slap, he’s slapping you again. You whine out in pain as his fingers entangle in your messy hair.

“I think I’ve had enough of your smart mouth. Only thing it’s good for is sucking cock apparently.”

He grabs the gag again and starts shoving it back into your mouth as you struggle against him. You shake your head back and forth, attempting to fight against him.

His palm connects with your cheek again, tears freely falling from your eyes now. The entire left side of your face feels like it’s on fire.

“Fucking behave!” He screams into your face.

You curl in on yourself, your eyes looking down while you’re unable to meet his gaze. He puts the gag back in place, securing it behind your head.

Your mind goes blank as he rearranges your body. That last hit had you seeing stars and you needed to collect your thoughts.

After a few minutes, you’re up on your knees and elbows. Your legs free of the restrains and spread wide open for Leon. Your wrists are tied together and secured to the headboard in front of you.

You blink several times, allowing yourself to focus on the present once again. Everything in your body aches, but it’s only adding to your arousal. You feel the wetness glazing your thighs, slowly leaking from your neglected hole. Your nipples erect, your eyes glossed over. The masochist within you is sending you into a blissful subspace.

Leon’s hand grabs a fistful of your hair, yanking your head back against his chest. You whimper as you look up into his eyes lovingly. 

“Now daddy has to teach you a lesson, teach you some fucking manners. I’m gonna fuck this cunt until you understand that your place is below me. I’m gonna fuck you until you cry and then you’re gonna fucking thank me. Do you understand me?”

All you can do is blink up at him, just barely registering his filthy words.

He yanks your hair again, “I said, do you fucking understand me?” He spits the words out at you with rage filled eyes and a locked jaw.

You nod quickly, ignoring the added stinging to your scalp with every single movement.

“That’s a good girl. Now lay there and fucking take it. What kind of mommy or daddy issues do you have? To willingly allow me to treat you like this, to fuck you like this. If I’m a freak, what does that make you? A cock hungry whore? A dirty, little slut? Nothing but holes for me to fill? Next time, I’ll wake you up with my dick already buried in this tight pussy. You don’t need to be awake, a whore like you will take it either fucking way.”

~masterlist~

[fear-less]

₊˚⊹˚ 𐙚 so it goes

paring: draco malfoy x reader

warnings: smut, no house mentioned but slytherin ig, possessive draco, ??? to lovers, idk😭

a/n: heyyy 😖😖 excuse my 4 month hiatus.. oops, leave requests in my request box or comment on who I should write about bc idk who to write about 😭 can be any fandom !! also, sorry if this is badddd😭😭

4.3k words :p

Draco Malfoy had a way of slipping into your thoughts like a shadow. Even when he wasn’t around, his presence lingered, impossible to shake. But tonight, he was there, standing across the room, eyes locked on you with that familiar intensity that made your stomach knot.

He was the center of attention, as always. It was as if everyone else was drawn to him, but at the same time, you knew none of them could see him the way you did. There was something darker beneath his polished surface, something only you were close enough to touch.

The firelight flickered in the Slytherin common room, casting long shadows along the stone walls. Draco stood there, all sharp angles and cold beauty, his pale features illuminated by the dim light. He met your gaze, a slow smirk curling at the edge of his lips. He knew exactly what he was doing.

Your heart quickened, a dangerous thrum in your chest. You tried to look away, but it was impossible. No one held your attention like Draco did—like he always would. He started to move, cutting through the small crowd with that same smooth grace, his eyes never leaving yours. You could feel the room closing in as he approached, the chatter around you fading into nothing but a dull hum.

By the time he reached you, it was like the rest of the world had disappeared.

"You seem deep in thought," he said, his voice low and smooth, almost mocking. "Or maybe you’re just staring." He paused, a slight tilt of his head as he looked at you with a wicked glint in his eyes. "Again."

You swallowed hard, refusing to let him see how easily he could unravel you. "Maybe I’m just trying to figure you out," you countered, though your voice lacked the sharp edge you wanted.

He was close now—too close. His hand brushed your arm, sending a shiver down your spine. His touch was always light, deliberate, but it left a trail of heat in its wake. "Figure me out?" He chuckled softly, the sound deep and amused. "I doubt you’ll ever manage that."

There was a weight to his words, something that hung in the air between you, making it hard to breathe. Draco Malfoy wasn’t someone you could easily understand, and you knew that. But it didn’t stop you from wanting to.

His gaze flickered down to your lips, then back up to your eyes. "You’re quiet tonight," he mused, his voice softer now, almost coaxing.

You wanted to say something, anything, but the words wouldn’t come. He had that effect on you, rendering you silent with just a look, a touch. It was infuriating and intoxicating all at once. You felt like you were standing on the edge of something dangerous, something you couldn’t pull away from even if you wanted to.

He leaned in, his breath ghosting over your skin. "What’s wrong?" His voice was smooth, almost teasing, but there was an underlying darkness to it that made your pulse quicken.

Your back hit the wall behind you, the cool stone sending a shock through your body as you realized how close he had gotten. Draco’s body was only inches from yours now, his hand resting beside your head, trapping you in. He was always so deliberate with his movements, always in control, and it made you feel like you were caught in a web you had no chance of escaping.

"You like this, don’t you?" he murmured, his voice a seductive whisper as his fingers trailed down your arm. "The way I make you feel."

Your breath hitched, and you hated how right he was. You hated how easily he could make everything else vanish, leaving only him. It was like being in a cage, but the bars were made of gold—beautiful and alluring, but impossible to break.

He smiled again, that dangerous, knowing smirk. "I can see it, you know," he continued, his voice dropping even lower. "The way you’re always on edge when I’m around. The way you miss me when I’m gone."

Your heart raced at his words, and you fought to keep your composure. His absence did make you feel like you were tripping, falling into a void where nothing made sense without him. But you weren’t going to let him have the satisfaction of hearing you admit it.

"I think you like the power," you finally said, your voice shaky but firm.

Draco’s smirk widened, and he leaned in even closer, his lips brushing your ear as he whispered, "Maybe I do."

The room felt impossibly small now, the walls pressing in on you as his presence overwhelmed your senses. His hand came to rest on your waist, the heat of his touch burning through your clothes. "But you like it too, don’t you?"

You didn’t answer. You didn’t need to. The look in your eyes, the quickening of your breath—it was all the answer he needed. He had you, and he knew it.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

There was something about being alone with Draco that made everything else disappear. You always noticed the cracks in his perfect mask when the world wasn't watching—when the cold, controlled demeanor faded, leaving only the raw truth between you.

His hands, still gripping your waist from where he had cornered you against the wall, softened slightly. There was always that moment when his arrogance gave way to something deeper, a quiet intensity you knew he didn’t show to anyone else.

"You’re so different when it’s just us," you whispered, your voice barely audible as you looked up at him. There was something almost fragile in the air between you, a vulnerability that made your chest tighten.

He raised an eyebrow, though the edge of his smirk was gone, replaced with something darker, more real. "Maybe I’m just tired of pretending."

It was a rare admission, but you had come to recognize those moments in him. The moments when he let down his guard, just enough to show you that he wasn’t as untouchable as everyone thought. Alone, he was simple, stripped of the sharpness and the sneers. Just Draco.

"You don’t have to pretend with me," you murmured, fingers brushing the edge of his sleeve, as if grounding yourself in his presence.

A low chuckle rumbled in his chest, though it lacked its usual mocking tone. "You make it sound so easy," he muttered, his hand moving up to cup your cheek, thumb tracing your jawline. "But nothing’s ever easy."

His touch was gentle, in stark contrast to the fire burning between you. It was always like this with Draco—a constant push and pull, the desire to break down his walls but knowing the risk that came with it. He looked at you like he wanted to believe it could be that simple, but there was always something holding him back. Something that neither of you could escape.

"You’re overthinking again," you said softly, leaning into his touch, your fingers tangling in the collar of his shirt.

He scoffed, though there was no malice in it. "Old habits."

You pulled him closer, your lips ghosting over his in a silent plea for him to let go, just for a moment. "When it’s just us, it doesn’t have to be complicated."

Draco hesitated for a split second, his gaze searching yours as if he was trying to find some hidden meaning in your words. But then he kissed you, slow and deliberate, like he was trying to make sense of the chaos that always seemed to follow him. And just like that, everything fell into place. It always did when you were with him.

The world outside could wait. For now, it was just the two of you, the rest of the night forgotten as his lips claimed yours. His hands, once tentative, were firm now, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened. Your heart raced, the familiar heat building between you as his body pressed against yours. All the pieces fell into place.

You lost yourself in him, the way you always did. His touch was fire, scorching your skin, and you craved more, the intensity of the moment overwhelming. It was like he could sense your thoughts, pulling back just enough to catch his breath, his eyes dark and filled with the kind of hunger that made your stomach flip.

"Don’t tell me you want to stop," he whispered, his voice rough, teasing.

You smirked, your breath heavy as you looked up at him through half-lidded eyes. "Not a chance."

His thumb brushed against your lower lip, smudging the faint trace of lipstick that had transferred during the kiss. He gave you that familiar, cocky smile, the one that always set your heart racing.

"You should see the mess you’ve made," he murmured, his voice low and dark, his gaze tracing the path of the lipstick stain.

You didn’t need to see it. You could feel the heat on your face, the rush of blood beneath your skin from how close he was, from how thoroughly he consumed you. It didn’t matter how messy it got. That was the way it always was with Draco—messy, chaotic, and absolutely irresistible.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

Your mind drifted back to that first night you met him. It had been simple, unexpected. No grand moment of destiny, no whirlwind romance. Just a random restaurant in hogsmeade, dimly lit, filled with people who didn’t matter. You had been laughing with friends, lost in conversation, when you felt his gaze on you.

At first, you hadn’t even realized it was him. But once you did, the whole room seemed to shift. He was standing by the bar, glass in hand, watching you with that same dark intensity he always had. His stare had felt like a challenge, one you couldn’t ignore.

You remembered the way he approached you that night, slow and deliberate, as if he already knew exactly how things were going to unfold.

"Didn’t expect to find you here," he had said, his voice smooth, casual, like he wasn’t completely aware of the tension that sparked the moment he stepped closer.

"Didn’t expect to be found," you had shot back, trying to maintain your composure, even though your heart had raced beneath the surface.

"Too bad for you then," he’d murmured, leaning in just enough to let you feel the heat of his body without touching. "I’m hard to miss."

And from that moment on, you had been hooked. It had been simple, effortless. The way he made you feel like the only person in the room, like you were the only one who could see him for who he really was.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

Back in the present, Draco’s gaze was fixed on yours, his hands resting possessively on your waist. You could feel his heartbeat, steady but fast, as if he was afraid you might slip away.

"Do you ever think about that night?" you asked, your voice soft, almost hesitant.

His smirk faded, replaced by something quieter, something real. "Every damn day."

Your heart skipped a beat, and you hated how much power he had over you. How easily he could make everything else fade away, leaving just this—just you and him, caught in a moment that felt endless.

"You make me jealous, you know," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Draco raised an eyebrow, his fingers tightening on your waist. "Good."

You laughed softly, shaking your head. "That’s not the reaction I was expecting."

His lips curled into a dangerous smile. "I like that you care." His voice dropped, his breath ghosting over your skin as he leaned in close. "I want you to care. I want you to feel it."

And you did. You felt everything—the desire, the danger, the thrill of being his, even if just for this moment. Because no matter how complicated things got, no matter how many times you swore you’d pull away, you knew you were his. And you knew he was yours.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

The room was thick with tension, the only sound the rustle of fabric and the soft hitch in your breath as Draco moved closer. His eyes, dark with intent, never left yours, watching your every movement like a hawk. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, the space between you rapidly shrinking.

Dressed head to toe in black, he looked dangerous—his usual composed arrogance crumbling away, replaced with raw, unrestrained desire. He stepped forward, crowding you against the wall, trapping you there without a word. You didn’t need words now. You knew exactly where this was heading. You had been playing this game with him for too long not to know.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” he rasped, his voice low, almost a growl. His hands found your hips, fingers gripping with just enough pressure to let you know you were at his mercy. But there was nothing gentle about the way he pressed his body flush against yours.

You smirked, though your heart was racing. “I think I have a pretty good idea.”

His lips twitched in response, but the amusement didn’t reach his eyes. They were already burning with a need so palpable it made your skin prickle with anticipation. His hand slid up your thigh, pushing your dress higher, exposing more of your skin to the cool air.

“I don’t think you do,” he murmured, his mouth so close to your ear that his breath sent a shiver down your spine. “Not yet.”

Before you could respond, his lips were on yours—rough, possessive, as though he had been holding back for too long and was done pretending. His kiss was demanding, leaving no room for hesitation, and you kissed him back just as fiercely, your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer, deeper.

His hands moved up your sides, brushing over your waist before gripping the back of your neck, tilting your head to deepen the kiss. The heat between you two was unbearable now, burning hotter with every second that passed. It was always like this with Draco—everything about him was intense, overwhelming, and you craved it. Craved him.

You gasped against his mouth as his fingers trailed lower, skimming over your stomach before slipping beneath the waistband of your underwear. He paused there, his fingers hovering just above your skin, teasing, waiting.

“What do you want?” he asked, his voice dark, almost mocking.

You bit your lip, refusing to give him the satisfaction of an answer. But the way your hips shifted toward him, the way your breath hitched in your throat, said enough.

Draco’s smirk returned, but there was nothing soft about it. “That’s what I thought.”

With a deliberate slowness that made you ache, he slid his fingers lower, brushing over the sensitive skin between your thighs. The touch was light, teasing, not nearly enough, but you couldn’t stop the sharp gasp that escaped your lips.

You grabbed onto his shirt, pulling him closer, your nails digging into the fabric. “Stop teasing,” you whispered, breathless.

He chuckled softly, but there was a dangerous edge to it. “You think you can tell me what to do?”

Before you could respond, his fingers pressed deeper, his touch finally sending sparks of pleasure shooting through your body. You couldn’t help the moan that slipped past your lips, your body instinctively arching into his touch.

Draco’s eyes darkened at the sound, his grip tightening as he pulled you even closer, his lips finding the pulse at your throat. “That’s more like it,” he muttered against your skin, his voice thick with satisfaction.

Your hands were on him now, fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, needing to feel him, to touch him. The moment his shirt fell open, your hands roamed over the hard planes of his chest, tracing the lines of his muscles, feeling the way his body tensed beneath your touch.

In one swift motion, Draco lifted you, pressing you hard against the wall, his hips pinning you there. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, desperate for more.

“You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this,” he growled against your lips, his hands sliding beneath your dress, pushing it up higher, exposing you to him completely.

“I think I have some idea,” you managed to gasp out, your nails scraping down his back in a way that made him hiss in approval.

Draco didn’t respond—at least, not with words. Instead, he pushed your underwear aside, his fingers moving with deliberate precision, drawing another soft gasp from your lips. He kissed you again, swallowing the sound, his body pressed so tightly against yours it was hard to tell where you ended and he began.

Your mind was spinning, lost in the feel of him, in the way his fingers moved over you, the way his lips never left yours, never stopped claiming you. You could feel the heat building between you, the tension coiling tighter and tighter until it felt like you might snap.

Then, without warning, he was inside you, the suddenness of it stealing your breath. He moved slowly at first, letting you adjust to the sensation, but there was nothing slow or gentle about the way his hips rocked into yours. He was relentless, driven by the same burning desire that had been simmering beneath the surface all night.

Your fingers gripped his shoulders, holding onto him as though he was the only thing keeping you grounded. Every thrust, every movement sent waves of pleasure crashing through you, your body arching into his, desperate for more.

“Draco,” you moaned, your voice barely above a whisper as your nails dug into his skin, leaving red scratches in their wake.

He groaned softly at the sound of his name, his lips finding the spot just beneath your ear as he thrust harder, his breath hot against your skin. “I’m not stopping until you’re begging for me,” he growled, his voice rough with need.

You couldn’t respond—not with words. All you could do was hold onto him, your body trembling with pleasure as he drove you closer and closer to the edge. The way he moved, the way he touched you, it was too much and not enough all at once. You were consumed by him, every nerve in your body alight with sensation.

Finally, with one last thrust, you shattered, the pleasure hitting you like a tidal wave, pulling you under. You cried out, your fingers clutching his shoulders as you came undone beneath him. Draco followed moments later, his body tensing, his breath ragged as he buried himself deep inside you one last time.

For a moment, the world was silent, the only sound the ragged breathing between you. Draco’s body was still pressed against yours, his forehead resting against your shoulder as you both tried to catch your breath, the weight of the moment lingering in the air like smoke after a fire. You could feel Draco’s heart racing against your chest, the aftershocks of your connection still buzzing in the air.

“Now do you see?” he murmured, his voice a low, satisfied rumble as he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. “You’re not getting away from me. Not now. Not ever.”

You smiled softly, the weight of his words sinking in, thrilling and terrifying all at once. “I wouldn’t want to,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Draco’s lips curled into a smirk, and you could see the satisfaction in his eyes. This was just the beginning—an exhilarating dance of power, desire, and surrender that would leave both of you craving more.

He pulled back slightly, his silver gaze locking onto yours, a glimmer of mischief dancing within them. “You know this isn’t just a game for me. Once I’m in, I’m all in.”

“Good,” you said, a defiant glint in your eyes. “I’m not here for half-measures, Draco.”

He chuckled darkly, the sound reverberating between you, sending a thrill down your spine. “Oh, I know. But let me warn you—it’s not just the pleasure that comes with this. There’s a darkness too, and it’s intoxicating.”

Your breath hitched at his words, the thrill of danger mingling with your desire. “I can handle it,” you replied, your voice steady, even as your heart raced.

Draco’s expression softened for a moment, an intensity flickering in his eyes. “Are you sure? Because once you step into my world, there’s no turning back. It’s not just about what we feel in the dark; it’s about who we become.”

With that, he captured your lips again, a searing kiss that left no doubt about what he meant. His hands roamed over your body, his touch igniting every nerve as he pulled you closer, deeper into this intoxicating whirlwind.

As the kiss deepened, you felt that familiar heat rising again, the electric connection between you reigniting with fervor. You were his and he was yours—two souls intertwined in a dance that was as dangerous as it was thrilling.

“Come here,” he commanded softly, pulling you in closer. His hands moved to your waist, lifting you effortlessly as he carried you to the nearby bed, where the night’s passion awaited you both once more.

With a gentle but insistent push, he laid you back against the soft sheets, his body hovering over yours. His gaze was intense, as if he were memorizing every detail of you. “You’re breathtaking,” he whispered, brushing a strand of hair away from your face.

You smirked, emboldened by the intimacy of the moment. “And you’re not so bad yourself, Malfoy.”

He grinned, a predatory gleam in his eyes as he settled between your legs, his hands exploring your body again. “You know, I’ve always had a weakness for pretty things. Especially when they come with a little bit of fire.”

You arched an eyebrow, the challenge in your eyes evident. “Fire? You have no idea what you’re in for.”

Draco leaned down, capturing your lips once more, but this kiss was different—hungry, desperate, filled with the promise of what was to come. He slipped his hands beneath your thighs, lifting you slightly as he pressed himself against you.

“Show me,” he whispered against your lips, his voice thick with desire. “Show me just how fiery you can be.”

With a surge of determination, you wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer, feeling the heat radiate between you as you began to move together again. Each thrust was deliberate, each movement driving you both higher, building that familiar tension until it felt almost unbearable.

Draco’s breath quickened, his hands gripping you tightly as he urged you both on, his voice a low growl as he urged you to take what you wanted. “Don’t hold back,” he urged, and you reveled in the way he encouraged your wildness, your hunger for him.

“I won’t,” you said, your body responding eagerly to his every command.

As the rhythm intensified, you could feel the world outside fading away, leaving the two of you lost in this passionate storm. Every sound, every whisper echoed through the room as you lost yourselves in each other, the walls shaking with intensity of your connection.

The night sketched on, a blur of heat and pleasure, darkness and light, until finally, as the dawn began to creep in, you collapsed together, breathless and spent.

Draco lay beside you, his fingers intertwined with yours, a satisfied smile curling on his lips. “I told you,” he murmured, his voice low and soft. “You’re mine now. And I won’t let you go easily.”

You smiled, tiredly, curling closer to him, the warmth of his body a comforting presence. “I wouldn’t want it any other way,” you replied, your heart racing at the realization that this was only the beginning of what lay ahead.

As the first rays of light broke through the darkness, you knew you were tangled in his world now, and you couldn’t wait to see where it would take you.

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

The sun was setting, casting a warm golden glow over the room as you and Draco lounged together after another intense day. You were curled up against him, his arm wrapped protectively around your shoulders, the comfortable silence between you speaking volumes.

“Last night was...” he started, his voice trailing off as he searched for the right words. He tilted your chin gently, forcing you to meet his gaze. “It was different.”

You smiled, remembering every electrifying moment. “Different good, or different weird?”

He chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Good, definitely good. But it made me realize something.” His expression turned serious, and your heart raced at the shift in his tone. “You know how we’ve been... doing this? The passion, the connection, the nights we’ve shared?”

“Yeah?” you replied, your stomach fluttering with anticipation.

“I don’t want it to be just that,” he confessed, his eyes never leaving yours. “I want more. I want you—more than just a fleeting moment in the dark. I want you in my life, officially.”

Your breath caught in your throat as the weight of his words sank in. “Are you saying...?”

He nodded, a hint of vulnerability in his expression. “I’m asking you to be my girlfriend. To be with me, not just in the shadows but out in the open. I want to be able to call you mine.”

You felt a rush of emotions—excitement, fear, hope—all swirling within you. This was what you had secretly wished for, and yet, the reality of it was overwhelming.

“I’d like that,” you said finally, a smile breaking across your face. “I’d like that a lot.”

Draco’s face lit up with that signature smirk, the one that made your heart skip a beat. “Good. Now, let’s make this official then.”

He leaned in, capturing your lips in a kiss that was soft yet full of promise. As you melted against him, you knew that this was just the beginning of something incredible.

[lincolndjarin]

Oh Honey. ✩ Chapter 5

chapter five : i'll decide where to go from here

series masterlist ao3 kofi main masterlist

a/n : happy last chapter of oh honey!!!! took a while to get out bc i was briefly on hiatus and then was in a slump (whoops) but here it is. this is another case of me writing an ending before the story so this has been the intended ending since i started and i hope you all like it as much as i do

pairing : monster!joel miller x mortician!reader

rating : 18+ mdni - explicit content, read all warnings

word count : 6.4k

summary : a look into the past and present of life in honey, west virginia

warnings, etc. : language, allusions to sex, angst & fluff, complicated relationships and people who are trying to handle them, an obscene amount of flashbacks, reader has hair and is carried by Joel, several timelines in no particular order.

“C’mere, bunny.” His stubble brushes against the back of your neck, his mouth is warm as you feel a kiss placed against your spine. 

“Mmm, what’s on the agenda for today?” You hum, pushing back against him a bit, the camper’s freezing in the winter, your heater broke a week ago and the parts Joel ordered to fix it won’t be in for a week. So you’re stuck with a little space heater you’d bought at the hardware store. 

“I was thinkin’ we’d just do this for a while.” His arms tighten around your waist and stomach with a sigh. “We could just stay in today, order food, watch a movie on your laptop.” He yawns before nestling close against you. 

“It’s too cold to stay here, it’s supposed to snow all weekend, it’s only gonna get worse. Maria even closed the home early yesterday” You groan, rolling over in his arms to press your face into his neck. The tips of your nose and ears are freezing, the two of you are under all the blankets you own, bundled up, when you peer out the window you can see the snow falling and settling on the trees. 

Joel mumbles into your hair, deeply inhaling. “Why don’t you pack a bag and we can head back to the house then. You can stay until Monday and can fix the heat while you’re at work.” 

“I hate staying at your place, all of my shit is here.” You spend most weekends at Joel’s, it’s easiest that way, but packing up all of your things and bringing them back and forth is getting tiring. 

“Just bring it with you.” 

“I think you underestimate how much stuff I need for four days.” You’re already giving yourself a headache trying to make a mental list of everything you’ll need. 

“Why don’t you just move in.” He mumbles with another yawn. “It would make it easier for both of us if all your stuff was there.” It isn’t until he realizes that you’re frozen in place that he opens his eyes. “Or not, just a thought.” 

You stammer an excuse, hoping to alleviate the tension that’s suddenly lingering between you. “I just- I don’t know if we’re there yet.”

“I didn’t mean to rush you, just thought I’d offer.” He shrugs before pulling you close again.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper into his chest.

“Don’t be. You’re right, it’s too soon for that.” 

You’ve been together for a year now, you almost never sleep apart, if anything you should have moved in six months ago. 

What’s stopping you? 

You’ve been distancing yourself from any concrete commitments for sometime now and even if he never says it you know it bothers him. When do you stop punishing him for something you claim you’ve forgiven him for? He doesn’t hurt people as often anymore, at least he’s trying harder not to. But it’s getting hard for the both of you to keep up this system of locking yourselves in his room for a week every month. 

Sometimes your cycle syncs with Maria and Sarah has to drive in from out of town to watch Ellie, it’s just generally become harder to manage. 

But you can’t leave him when he’s like that. 

On the rare occasion that you’re too exhausted to stay awake and entertain him he’ll end up in the woods and a massacred corpse ends up on your table when you return to work. 

Everytime you think you’ve found forgiveness and acceptance you’re reminded of the fact that you love a monster. A selfish choice that you make every day. And everytime you tell him you can’t live with the guilt he gives you the same option. 

Kill him. 

You’re sure he doesn’t mean to make it sound so grim, each of you have complicated relationships with death. You just don’t think you’ll be able to live without him, and it’s not like he expects you to kill him yourself, he always tells you he’ll handle it with Tommy but you always shoot the idea down and you’re back to square one. 

“I just need a little more time, I promise this isn’t forever.” You mumble as you sit up.

“I’d do anything for you, anything at all. Just tell me what to do.” 

You don’t doubt that. But he still doesn’t give you what you actually want, all you ask of him is options that don’t involve him, or any more innocent people, on your cadaver cart.

The bed is empty when you wake up. 

You knew it would be when you went to bed alone last night but a part of you, after all this time, still feels incomplete when the sheets beside you are cold. The creaking under the floorboards is the only noise in the house. 

Your alarm clock reads 6:58 a.m. and you know it’s only a matter of minutes before you need to be up so you throw the blankets aside, stretch your arms above your head, and stand. Right on cue you hear the familiar stomping down the hall before your door swings open, Ellie rubs her eyes before scurrying over to you. Her hair’s in disarray, having fallen out of the braid you put it in last night, you scoop her up into your arms, trying to smooth the mess down. 

“Good morning, little monster.” You mumble, kissing her cheek before carrying her down the hall and into the kitchen. You can’t help but wonder how much longer she’ll be small enough to hold like this. She’s already almost too heavy for you to lift for this long, and the living room and kitchen are still decorated with banners and deflating balloons from her sixth birthday party yesterday. 

Kids birthdays, elementary school, home owning? 

Even after a couple years it’s still a little dizzying that this is your life now. You set her down at the table, retrieving the generic sugary cereal you’ve grown fond of from the cabinet along with bowls, spoons, and milk, setting them down on the table in front of her. 

“Can I feed the sheep before we go?” She says before reaching for her spoon, you nod.

“If you brush your teeth without giving me a hard time.” You fill your bowls, you have to remind her to slow down a few times as she shovels cereal into her mouth, eager to go out to the barn. You’re only halfway through your bowl when she runs off in the direction of her room.   

You hear the telltale sounds of her pushing her step stool across the tile of the bathroom as she rummages through the cabinet. As you finish up your own food and tidy up you make a mental list of everything you need to do today. 

Get Ellie ready for school. 

Tend to the sheep. 

Drive Ellie to school. 

You take your phone out of your sweatpants pocket, 7:16, and text Maria to make sure they’re still good to take her this weekend. Ellie hums as she brushes her teeth when you peer into the bathroom before making your way into your own room, changing quickly, you’ve got about an hour before you need to leave. 

Drive Ellie to daycare. 

Grocery shopping. 

Oil change. 

Making lists helps. You like knowing what you’re going to do and when you’re going to do it, you’ve had enough surprises in your life, you don’t like when the routine changes. Without your routine you’d lose yourself entirely. Ellie helps, she likes structure as much as you do, you stand behind her in the bathroom now watching her finish up and making sure she did a good job. The sparkling stone on the counter catches your eye, a reminder that you’re constantly forgetting your ring. It’s a bit much for your taste but it’s a family heirloom and Joel insisted. Sliding it onto your finger as Ellie hands it to you.

Check on Ellie.

Clean the house. 

Make dinner. 

Before she can run back to her room you gently pull her back by the collar of her shirt, grabbing a hair tie off the counter you tie her hair in a ponytail before letting her go get dressed. By the time she’s ready you’ve got your jacket on, holding Ellie’s coat out for her to stick her arms through the sleeves. She already has a toothy grin plastered on her face as you both step out of the sliding doors leading to the backyard. You take her hand, knowing she’ll run ahead if given the chance, you know better than to let her out of her sight.

Dangerous things live in the woods of Honey. 

She’s pulling you along through the short path between the trees leading to the barn with a fence surrounding it. Once you’re in the clearing you let her run ahead, once you’re able to see everything around you. The air is icy and damp as you follow after her, opening the gate as she slips under the fence. The sun is just starting to break through the trees, it’s still too cold for the sheep to be out, there isn’t much exposed grass for them to eat anyway. You’ve been keeping them in the barn most days unless it warms up, today isn’t one of those days. With a high pitched giggle Ellie rushes inside, you hear the familiar sounds of bleating as she greets all of them by name. 

You watch in momentary silence as you make your own way into the barn, enjoying her little smile that warms up the freezing barn. 

“Did you turn in your project yesterday?” You sit on a hay bale, watching her run amongst the sheep before turning to you, nose red from the chill. You hadn’t gotten to ask her about it since you’d been so busy with her party, it wasn’t really a “project.” Just a little assignment for the kids in her class, to draw something important to them. 

Of course Ellie had wanted to draw her father, something you were happy to help with until she held the crayon in her fist and began to draw the sharp angles and pointed claws that you realized she couldn’t show it off to her class. You let her finish the drawing. It’s remarkable really, how someone so small and vulnerable can portray such a frightening creature without fear. 

She loves him, that’s why. 

You love him too but that doesn’t mean he didn’t terrify you. No amount of strange magical connection was going to change the fact that he scared you. The difference of course is that Ellie doesn’t know what he’s done. You had encouraged her to draw a background, concealing the mass of flesh and teeth in darkness and trees until only the two of you knew what hid behind the blue and green. Together you decided that it was a drawing of her favorite place. The national forest on the edge of town. 

“Good, Riley guessed what it was though.” She says as she pats one of the lambs gently on the back. 

“She guessed it was the Manangahela National Forest?” You give her a skeptical smile as she fills a bucket with feed before emptying it into the trough. 

“Monongahela.” She corrects you proudly. 

After all this time, you still never get it right. 

“Smart ass.” You grumble under your breath as she carefully lifts the hose, filling the water buckets. 

“Ass.” She says with a grin. 

“Don’t say that.” You point at her sternly, stifling a laugh. 

With a small huff she turns the hose off and rushes over to sit beside you and watch them. 

“She said the forest was my favorite so it was easy.” She mumbles, briefly captivated by the sheep. 

“She’s a good friend for knowing that.” You like Riley, you’ve watched the two girls play together several times before, she’s a good influence on Ellie as far as you can tell. 

“Mhmm.” She hums, the silence returning between the two of you as you both watch the sheep.

You don’t tell her that you’re going to butcher one of them tonight. 

You know that she can handle it. At this point in her life she can handle much more than any other six year old you’ve ever met but you just aren’t ready for that sort of thing yet. You haven’t been a parent long enough to know the proper way to go about that sort of thing. 

“Time for school, kiddo.” You stand up abruptly and take her hand again, watching as she yells back to the sheep, saying goodbye to each and everyone of them. 

The truck sits idly in the driveway but you ignore it, opening the door of your own car, Ellie throws her backpack in before climbing in herself. It was the first thing you’d bought with Darlene’s money. (The second thing you did was help Sarah with her student loans and put aside some for Ellie.) You hated driving the truck, it was too big and too loud, this just felt safer for driving Ellie around. Once she’s buckled into her seat you make your way over to the driver's side. The radio plays some rock song that immediately has her squealing in the backseat, with a grin you turn it up as you pull out of the driveway. 

“Is she my mom now?” 

You had been walking past Ellie’s room after your shower, wearing one of Joel’s flannels with the towel wrapped around your hair when her voice froze you in place, her bedroom door cracked open. 

“That’s not exactly how that works, kiddo.” His voice has a nervous lilt to it you don’t often hear from him. 

“Then why is she always here?” She sits up a bit and you hold your breath as Joel’s brow furrows. 

“Is that a problem?” God you hope not. 

“No, I like her.” The tension in his face relaxes with your own. 

“I’m glad you do. I like her too.” 

“So when will she become my mom?” Her persistence on the issue makes you feel as awkward as he currently looks. 

“She’ll become your mom if she wants that. But that probably won’t happen until we’re married, and I don’t know if she wants that yet either.” There’s a beat of silence, you’re heart skipping a beat at the earnestness of the conversation. The silence is quickly interrupted by the little one screaming your name as you rush back to the bathroom, opening and shutting the door to try and make it seem like you hadn’t been listening. 

“Yes, little monster?” You make a real show of stepping loudly down the hall as you push the door open. You’re greeted by the sight of Ellie trying to wriggle out of a rather flustered Joel’s arms, face red and flushed as he tries to shove her under her blankets. 

“She’s just messin’ around.” He grumbles before throwing a pillow at the giggling mess. 

Her voice calling your name from the backseat snaps you out of your thoughts. 

“What’s up?” You turn the music down as you glance at her in the rearview mirror. 

“Can Riley come over today after school if her mom says it’s okay?” 

“You’re going to Uncle Tommy’s tonight, love. I’ll text her mom and see if she’s okay with picking her up from there if he gets you guys after school. Does that sound okay?” She nods happily when you look in the mirror before going back to singing along with the radio. When you pull up to the parent drop off you get out of the car to unbuckle her, kneeling down in front of her as she pulls her backpack straps over shoulders. 

“Can we have a birthday party with Dad when he gets back?” She tilts her head to the side as she asks, you lean forward and kiss her on the cheek before pulling her into a hug. 

“Absolutely we can.” You give her a soft smile before her attention is diverted towards a group of her friends. “Be good today, I love you.” 

“Love you, bye!” She leans in to give you a kiss on your own cheek before rushing off, you watch her go, waiting until she’s in the building before getting back in the car. You send a quick text to Riley’s mom and Maria, scheduling plans for the girls before putting the car in drive as you head off towards a neighboring town. Honey has a grocery store but on days like this where you have so much free time you like to go to the nicer ones out of town. 

You turn the radio off now that it’s just you, cranking the heat to keep warm as you drive in silence. 

“We should get married.” You had brought the idea up, much to his surprise. About a year ago, as you were setting up for Ellie’s fifth birthday party, a year after you’d finally moved in. 

“Are you serious?” He had been laying on his back, under the camper, working on the more technical aspects of the project. In his shock he’d rolled himself back out to stare at you. 

Why wouldn’t you be? Sure, it took a lot of effort on his part but you finally feel like you’ve stopped holding everything against him. You had hoped that he knew that by now. 

“Why not? Everyone already thinks we are, everyone at Ellie’s school calls her my daughter, Tommy’s been teasing me about it for ages-” He pulls himself to his feet, quickly putting his hands on your shoulders. 

“Bunny, slow down.” He’s getting flustered, you swear his drawl is thicker when he gets like this.

“You’re the one who always says I take things too slow.” You frown, turning back to the flowers you’d been planting in the boxes under the window but he turns you back around to face him.

“You mean it?” His voice is a whisper and you quickly realize how much this means to him.

“Of course, I mean, we’re going to spend our lives together anyway, why wait.” You give him a reassuring smile as you tilt your head to kiss his cheek, briefly letting yourself indulge in the taste of his skin before pulling back. “As much as I’d love to talk about this more, we should get back to work if we want to finish this before she’s home.” 

He doesn’t say anything else about it as he goes back to running the electrical under the camper and you can’t help but wonder if you crossed a line. Thankfully you’re on a time crunch to finish this and your mind is kept busy. 

The two of you work in silence, almost synchronized as you move from task to task. He brings the cinder blocks out and lines the camper, creating a semi-permanent foundation as you string fairy lights along the outside and finish up planting flowers around the entire thing. Joel attaches the small porch he and Tommy made a few weeks ago that you had painted as you step inside. It’s unrecognizable after all the work the two of you put into it. The ceiling now painted a dark blue, glow in the dark paint dotted along the entire thing, when the sun goes down she’ll be able to see the stars from inside the camper. You painted the walls and changed out the curtains and sheets more to Ellie’s tastes. She’d always loved it here, when Joel was actually busy with work trips she’d stay with you in the camper. Even nowadays with you living with her and Joel she still often asks if she can play in the camper. 

Just as you’re finishing up Joel steps inside as well, testing all of the faucets while wiping a bit of sweat from his brow. 

“Think she’ll like it?” You ask, your fingers nervously twitch as you roll the hem of your shirt between them, he laughs as he leans back against the counter. 

“She’s gonna love it, s’better than any gift I’ve ever gotten her.” You can’t help but smile as he holds his arms out towards you, you quickly step into them, leaning against his chest and taking a deep breath. 

You open your mouth to speak, wanting to address your proposition from earlier quickly so it doesn’t hang in the air for too long but you hear the familiar rumble of Tommy’s truck pulling into the driveway and the two of you quickly rush out of the camper and down the steps. You straighten the bow on the door and quickly lock it. You hear Ellie’s laughter as she runs around the side of the house, Tommy and Maria walking up behind her. 

She’s excited to see both of you, a paper crown announcing her birthday adorns her head as she runs up to hug her father. The second she sees the camper though she darts right past him. 

“Why’s this here?” She yells excitedly, she knows exactly why it’s here instead of sitting stagnant on the piece of property you sold just a few days ago. You smile at Joel, nodding towards her as he leans down to pick her up. 

“She got you a little birthday present, since you’ve been so nice to her and let her come live with us.” He points at you as she immediately starts squirming out of his grasp, tossing her backpack aside as she runs up the little porch steps. She turns around to look at you with a huge smile on her face.

“Are you fucking serious?” She screams. You can’t help it as a laugh slips out of you, thankfully Tommy can’t hold it together either as Joel immediately breaks into a lecture you nudge his shoulder as you hand her the key.

“It’s her birthday, she’s allowed to say it on her birthday.” You murmur through your continued laughter. She wraps her arms around your legs, hugging you tightly before turning around and unlocking the door. “Happy birthday, Ellie.” 

She had loved her party, thankfully. And she loved her new playhouse much to your relief. 

You and Joel laid on opposite sides of her as her little snores filled the camper, she had wanted a campout as a birthday treat and you were both more than willing to oblige. You’re staring up at the faintly glowing stars painted on the ceiling when he sets the box down next to you. You grab it, wanting to ask him more but not wanting to wake Ellie up you open it. 

And you’re met with a ridiculously gorgeous ring. 

Clearly an heirloom but he’s recently had it polished, one large diamond framed by two smaller ones on either side of it. Your eyes are wide as you stare down at it, shimmering in the moon light before sharply turning your head to the man with a dopey smile lying across from you.

“Been carrying that around for a while now, if I’d known you were ready I would’a asked sooner.” His voice is low as Ellie stirs a bit and you both freeze as she rolls over closer to her father. 

Neither one of you speaks again, but the look on your face as you put the ring on was answer enough. 

The beeping brings you back to reality as you scan every item in the self checkout lane. 

You’re only feeding yourself while Ellie’s with Maria and Tommy, so you keep it simple. Another box of cereal, milk, an apple, a loaf of bread and deli meats. You’re pretty sure you have enough cheese and other essentials to get you through the rest of the weekend. On your way up to the checkout counter you grab a bag of dark roast coffee beans and a box of tampons. 

You’re out of both. 

You know you live in memories too often, especially without Joel to keep you in reality. You find him in the past when he isn’t beside you because something needs to fill the aching void that yearns for his smell, his taste, and his touch. And echoes of Joel are almost as good as the real thing. There’s a funny comfort you find in memories. Even unhappy ones. There’s no surprises in memories, you know what’s going to happen and you know you survived it.

Even the bad memories bring you comfort when he isn’t around to do it himself. 

You pay quickly, loading everything into the cooler in the car as you head off in the direction of your mechanic. When you park you’re told it’ll take about fifteen minutes, nodding as you sit in the waiting room, where your mind inevitably wanders to one of the worst memories in the hours following your meeting in the Applebees that has since closed. 

You didn’t pay attention to the road. 

Instead you stared at your hands in your lap as he drove, not bothering with the radio, the two of you stewing in your silence as he pulled into the driveway. You didn’t even unbuckle your seatbelt, he had come around the truck and done that for you, pulling you into his arms and carrying you bridal style up the porch steps and into the house, only stopping to kick the door shut before bringing you to his room, clicking on the lamp he hadn’t bothered to remove, and setting you on the mattress. 

He lays down beside you, taking your face in his hands but you immediately recoil, pushing him away. 

“What do I have to do to earn your forgiveness? To show you I’m sorry? Cause I don’t see a point to any of this if it’s never going to happen, it’ll be better for both of us if we know where we stand.” He’s right, unfortunately. Neither one of you deserves to waste the other's time if this is going to mean nothing. 

If you can’t forgive him.

“Can you at least let me love you? Do you think you can manage that?” His voice is dangerously close to cracking and you have to pray that he doesn’t break. If he can’t hold it together you know you won’t be able to either. “Neither one of us wants to deal with this but we don’t have a choice.” 

“I don’t know.” You mumble, you really don’t know so why answer with anything else? 

“I don’t even need a concrete answer, bunny. I just need to know if someday you’re going to be able to forgive me. I can’t live a life where you keep me at arms length.” 

You hadn’t responded. Just slid closer to him. 

And you let him hold you until you fell asleep, hoping that would be enough. 

Your phone buzzing is what snaps you out of your empty thoughts this time. When you open the notification you’re met with a message from Maria, a photo of Tommy sleeping in the recliner, Ellie sitting in his lap, and Riley sitting on the arm of the chair, watching whatever movie they put on the T.V. 

[ Made it back from school. Watching Treasure Planet. ] 

[ love it ] [ thanks again for taking them ] 

The mechanic returns shortly after, handing you your keys and telling you you’re good to go. The hour drive back isn’t terrible, you opt to listen to music on the way back. It’s quiet when you return home. Putting away the groceries and making yourself a sandwich as you look around the cluttering remnants of the party yesterday, the only sounds are your chewing and the soft creaking and scratching from under the floorboards.

Joel has so much pride for your home. He would hate it if he knew how dirty it was currently, the thought alone has you reaching for an empty trash bag once you’re finished eating. 

You turn all the lights on as the sun starts to set, how much time did you spend daydreaming today? You try not to think too hard about it as you start cleaning up the plastic cups and paper plates that litter every surface of the living room, popping deflating balloons and sweeping up discarded streamers and confetti. There’s a feeling of solace that comes with cleaning the house, making it feel like home once more. 

This isn’t just Joel’s house now, it’s yours as well, even if you thought this would never be the case. 

“I know that you shot down the idea last time but I want to show you something.”

“Joel, I just don’t think…” Your voice trails off as you stare at the key ring he’s holding out towards you. If you can’t guarantee that he won’t hurt people you can’t share a home with him, it’s stupid and it makes you feel childish but you can’t come home to him knowing people are still dying, even if you can’t stay away from him. 

“Just give me a chance to show you.” He puts the keys back into his pocket before taking your hand. Walking you down the hall towards his room, he stops briefly to check in on Ellie, still tucked into her own bed as you peer into her room before he closes her door quietly. “I don’t want you to think that a life with me is going to be only horrors, and I know that a part of you has already resigned yourself to such a thing but you don’t deserve that.” You’re about to interrupt him, tell him that’s not true despite the ache in your chest that tells you he’s right but he’s opening his own bedroom door and you’re too busy staring slack jawed inside. 

It’s unrecognizable from the monster cage he’d created for himself. 

Instead of resting bare and on the floor, the mattress has sheets and now rests on a low to the ground metal frame. The photos that were once taped to the wall are now in frames or pinned to a bulletin board he hung up. 

He put a rug down that covers any claw marks on the floor and he’s done his best to hang up photos and paintings over the scratches on the walls. There’s even furniture now, a nightstand on either side of the bed with a matching dresser, lamps scattered around the room make the space feel warm and lived in. 

“You- you did all this?”

“If you live with me I don’t want you to have to sleep in some sort of creepy homemade dungeon, you deserve an actual bedroom.” He whispers as you look at the paintings on the wall, all of them are Alice in Wonderland themed. “I borrowed those from Sarah’s room, we can change them out when- if you move in.” He quickly mumbles as you look up at a painting of Alice staring into a lake, her own image being reflected back up at her. 

“It’s lovely, it’s perfect Joel.” You turn back to him as he rubs the back of his neck bashfully. 

“This ain’t it, there's a few more surprises for you.” The shocked look remains on your face as he takes your hand once more, bringing you back into the kitchen and out the sliding glass door. 

You had run outside without shoes on and took down the banner hanging on the camper before rushing back in and tossing it in the trash bag. When you look at the clock it’s just a couple minutes from 7:00 p.m. You bring the bag out to the porch before washing your hands. 

You don’t bother taking a shower as you change into your pajamas, setting your ring on your nightstand, not wanting to risk damaging it as you pull up a pair of sweats you don’t care about being ruined and an old shirt you wore when you painted the bathroom a month ago. Grabbing the apple off the counter you shove it into your sweatpants pocket. Shooting Maria one last text and turning your phone on do not disturb, you tell her to say goodnight to Ellie for you before slipping your sneakers on and heading out the back door once more. 

You don’t like going to the barn alone, and you should have put on a proper jacket, without the sun to warm you, your skin prickles with goosebumps. The dark doesn’t frighten you very much anymore, and it’s easy to follow the familiar path even in the dark. Your phone flashlight illuminates the ground in front of you as you walk, you’re trying to remember if there is a specific sheep Ellie isn’t attached to.

Most of the flock is sleeping save for a few stragglers, you decide not to overthink it, grabbing a lead and putting it over the head of the first sheep that’s brave enough to greet you. The unlucky winner is one of the older sheep, making its way over to you the second you open the gate. You reward her bravery with the apple in your pocket, the only sounds in the quiet night are those of chewing as you walk her back towards the house. 

You swung your intertwined hands between the two of you as you walked through the trees behind his house. He must have worked startlingly fast to do that for you, no ones ever put in that sort of effort for you before. 

The sun is just starting to set behind you as he takes a step back and covers your eyes.

“Hey-” You start to object with a giggle as he continues walking you forward. 

“Oh hush, let this be a surprise.” He chuckles as he leads you further down the path before stopping abruptly and lifting his hands. “Surprise.” He whispers, taking a step back.

“Woah.” You exhale in shock as you stare at the barn in front of you. A white fence surrounding it. 

It’s beautiful. 

“Tommy and I grew up on a farm, we can raise whatever you want, pigs, sheep, chickens, anything you want.” He mumbles as he wraps his arms around you from behind, kissing your cheek. 

“I love that idea, but can I ask why?” You let out a nervous laugh as you turn to raise an eyebrow at him.

“That’s actually a part of your last surprise.” 

“Another?” Your voice pitches up, he built you a fucking barn, what else could he have done for you?

“I want you to know how serious I am about you moving in, I don’t want you to have any doubt.” He mumbles against your temple, inhaling deeply before pulling away and taking your hand one more time. “Come on.” He pulls you back towards the house as the sun sets for good, you walk in the darkness until he brings you to the basement entrance and pulls out the keys he’d offered you. 

Several locks adorn the basement entrance, you sift through your key ring until you find each lock's respective key, letting them drop into the grass as you remove each one. When you swing the heavy metal doors open you’re met with the welcoming warmth that comes from below. Several lamps and space heaters create a warm glow that beckons you down the steps. Almost immediately the sheep pulls away, bleating fearfully. Animals are far more intelligent than anyone gives them credit for, they know when something is wrong. 

You pull her down with you then reach up and let the doors slam down, sealing the poor thing in its tomb with you. 

You drop the lead once the doors are closed, there’s no point in leading the lamb any closer to the inevitable slaughter. 

“I have loved you since I first saw you in that bar. I have loved you every moment since, you could be cruel and terrible and I’d love you still and I’d probably deserve it. But you aren’t. You’re smart, and you care about everything, and you love everyone even if they aren’t worthy of it.” His hands caress your face as he whispers into the night air. “And you feel so much guilt for the things I do even though you shouldn’t. You can forgive me for all that I’ve done but it won’t change the fact that I’m still doing terrible things. I’ve done terrible things for so long that I didn’t really consider any other options, but you deserve other options.” 

He pulls open the basement doors once all the locks are undone, and offers his hand to you. 

“I want to show you that I can change, that I would do anything you need me to do, be anything you need me to be.” 

It’s your choice, take it or leave, he won’t hold it against you if you crack and can’t handle it anymore. But you need him to keep yourself together in the first place so you take his calloused hand in yours and let him lead you down into the darkness. 

The smell of vanilla and pine is dense down here. 

As you descend further down the steps you see the familiar set up, a few lamps and lanterns are scattered throughout the darkness as well as a couple space heaters that are only there for your benefit. A mattress you insist on putting sheets on is pushed against one of the scratched up walls, the blankets and pillows scattered about the space, you walk over to the mess, picking up the scattered quilts as you throw everything back down on the mattress. You can feel the movement behind you, the scratching against the cement as you lay down, even with the heaters it’s cold. Thankfully you know you’ll be warm enough soon.

The panicked baa’s of the sheep are swiftly silenced, replaced with the wet tearing sound that once would have filled you with dread. It’s a bit morbid how comforting you now find them, you roll over as you pull another blanket up over yourself, watching the iron chains drag across the floor as the unseen figure pulls them in different directions. 

You can see movement dancing on the edges of the lamp light, the smell of blood is almost as prominent now as the suffocating sweetness. A smile begins to tease the corners of your mouth as you hear him moving closer, the familiar, gravely voice that calls out from the dark recesses of the basement fills your ears like warm honey. 

“C’mere, bunny.”

a/n : that's a wrap on oh honey folks, once again im sorry i made yall wait so long, i hope it was worth it <3

i no longer have a tag list but for fic updates follow @lincolndjarinnotifs !!

[spiderm444rk]

hi guys, i didn’t really have the strength to come here and speak up about the taeil issue yesterday, but it’s extremely important to address this so i definitely have something to say about it.

i was at work yesterday, and i found out about the whole scandal during my 30 minute break, and i was half convinced it’s not real and he didn’t really get kicked out for like the first half of it - it was a shock, to randomly find out a person i stanned and supported for 4 years would be capable of doing something like this. once i realized it’s actually happening and sm kicked him out without a second thought, i understood how serious the scandal is and that no one is exaggerating.

i understand the whole situation makes us all feel disappointed and disgusted, and that it’s a sensitive topic, but i think it’s very important to educate ourselves about this and hold taeil accountable. let’s go over it together.

i saw too many kpop stans spreading misinformation, which in the end negatively affects the victim of this case the most . by making up fake stuff for clout, you only take away the attention from the actual victim who is trying to tell her story and get her justice. we don’t do that over here.

first of all, i hope everyone is aware that this is a REAL issue and that it actually happened. this isn’t a rumour, he’s an actual criminal. the police literally charged him with a sex related crime. sm, who is known for giving problematic people a second choice kicked him out IMMEDIATELY. no hiatus, no nothing. he’s just out of the picture. his bubble got terminated today. he’s being removed from nct zone. all of his album photocards are getting replaced by group photocards as we speak. sm is working hard to separate him from the group image asap. if this doesn’t speak volumes about how serious this scandal is, i don’t know what does. i hope NO ONE supports that man anymore. unfollowing him isn’t something to brag about, it’s just common sense. rapists deserve to rot behind the bars.

i saw a lot of people say they won’t believe it until it’s proven, but what more do you need? it already is proven. the whole group unfollowed him - not only 127, but dream and wayv too. taeyong deleted every picture with him while being in the military. this isn’t sm kicking him out because it will make the group look bad, they kicked him out because he’s a confirmed criminal. “i’m gonna wait until he’s proven guilty” he already is. hold that pathetic mistake of a man accountable.

but what i wanted to talk about the most - for the sake of the victim. let’s not blindly believe every lie we see on the internet and disregard the victim’s story.

- THE ONLY THING CONFIRMED IS THAT TAEIL IS CHARGED WITH A SEX RELATED CRIME. they didn’t specify anything. we don’t know what exactly it is, but i think we can all picture how terrible it needs to be for sm to kick him out of the company without a second thought.

- the investigation has been going on since june, but no one except the police and the victim who reported him knew. taeil of course knew he’s guilty, but he didn’t know he’s under investigation, and neither did sm or the rest of the nct members. they all learned about it - according to sm - in the middle of august, AFTER the last 127 fan meeting. so no, it’s not like they knew and included him anyway. it’s not like taeil knew he’s being investigated and went there to meet fans with a big smile on his face.

i’m obviously not saying this to protect him, but let’s not make it seem like all of the neos already knew and just kept being best friends with a rapist, especially in front of people who support them and love them. they didn’t know, and neither did the company. as soon as sm found out (from the police), he was out of the group.

- none of the rumours are confirmed. i’m not saying they can’t be real, but since it’s not confirmed, let’s focus on what we know (let me repeat myself) - taeil is guilty, sm and nct learned about it in the middle of august, he got kicked almost immediately. the police also confirmed the victim A is an adult woman, and no underage victim of the same gender is involved in this case. they said they won’t reveal any information about the progress of the case so the victim’s identity stays anonymous.

that’s it.

but what does it really mean ? there was a rumour about taeil raping an 11 year old girl to the point where she’s now permanently disabled, and abusing her for 6 years and hacking her phone so she couldn’t report him- NOT CONFIRMED. this case also isn’t about her. the victim who reported him is an adult woman. this doesn’t mean it can’t be real, or that there aren’t more victims out there, but it’s not the case that is being investigated right now.

people are also saying that taeil’s car accident didn’t actually happen, and that it was this girl’s grandpa/family member who broke his leg when they went to beat him up for what he did to the girl and that the car accident was just a cover up - also not confirmed. people are probably just trying to gain clout.

the @ agnes_121430 instagram account has been commenting on taeils ig posts since june, but she also posted about her case getting closed today, so she isn’t the actual victim in this case. she also said she never actually met taeil face to face (?).

taeil also isn’t involved in the burning sun scandal (yet, because once again, it’s not confirmed by any relevant platform) but this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t bring it up again, because the chance that he or other male idols are involved is still there. korean women are suffering, we need to keep bringing this up.

same thing is with the Nth room, or any other similar telegram group chat. the Nth room is a group chat where you need to PAY a high fee to even get in, and the members of this group chat literally record women without their consent and even without them knowing and then sell the videos in that gc. random women, but even their FAMILY MEMBERS. they also make deepfakes of women - their sisters, mothers, they don’t care. they also target schools and the girl students in there. they threaten the girls to record themselves doing really fucked up stuff and then send it to the group chat, or just straight up drug them, touch them without consent, rape them… you can look this up. this scandal is about taeil, but this is also about what do the korean women have to go through, the mentality in south korea is insane. it’s not only a kpop issue, but also a human rights issue, and we need to address it.

also, there’s a rumour the Nth room members are getting exposed tomorrow. this isn’t true. if you see anything, it will be 99% made up, and bored kpop stans will just drag idols without any proof.

everyone needs to understand that we don’t really know these people and we never know who else is involved in stuff like this - i really hope no one in nct knew about this and that they aren’t involved, but this is such an unexpected reality check that it’s still hard for me to grasp it and decide what to believe or not. in no way i support taeil, but wow. it’s crazy what men are capable of, while acting like they’re the biggest sweethearts in front of other people.

let’s hold all rapists and people who SA people of any gender and in any way accountable, and expose all celebrities if they ever did something like this. no one wants to support criminals. taeil needs to pay for what he did.

please spread the word and don’t believe everything you see. if anyone wants the source of what i’m saying, i can dm it to you. i hope everything will get better with time and this isn’t the definitive downfall of nct 127, but i guess we’ll have to wait and see. i know this is difficult to deal with. i hope the victim will get her justice, and everyone please take care. i’m with every nctzen out there. stay strong.

[thisnameisnotspokenfor]

ROUGH Chapter Snippet

I know I said I was on hiatus- but when inspo hits, it hits, and I mean, I've been feeling it lately- so the chapter might come out later this week)) Maybe. I hope you enjoy lol.

Music filled the air as she felt her finger gently glide against the surface of the now glowing water.

 The warmth of the sun and the water filled her, a wonderful change from the dark and dreary world they’d left behind. To say that the whole ordeal had left her in disbelief would be an understatement, but for now, she was alive and that was all that mattered. 

A sudden movement from beside her caught her attention as she watched fish of all shapes happily swim by them. A few even leaped into the air as the drops of shimmering water cascaded behind them. She chuckled, shielding her eyes from the water as Valentino pleated, gesturing his hoof down towards the side where a whale arose. 

“Whoa,” she whispered, catching sight of her reflection in his eyes before he sprayed water into the air and promptly disappeared into the sea once more.

“Valentino did you see that?!” she excitedly called as the goat nodded. “That was a Fin Whale! I didn’t know they swam by here this time of year! I never realized how big they were in person. Did you see how he looked at us? It was like we were ants!!” Valentino pleated, nodding in agreement with her as the castle and several ships came into view.

She could recognize one of the nearer ones as belonging to Silver’s and judging from the sounds of music and chatter that emerged from it, she was willing to bet that she’d been right.

“We’re here,” she told the dolphin-shaped star beneath her, feeling as he obediently began to slow, allowing her to take in the view once more. 

Against the sparkling sea and golden warm hues of the midday sky, there was no denying how beautiful the scene before her was. A beauty that she’d admitted had been hard to spot in the official’s meeting rooms or the dreary stone walls of her study. 

The star beneath her slipped from her grasp, nearly plunging her into the sea once more, before she’d felt hands hold her up, and the star’s smiling face greet her once more.

“Whoa!” she called, surprise filling her as he easily lifted most of her body out of the water. It was so easy to forget how strong he truly was when he wasn’t that much taller than her. 

He chuckled, gently releasing his hold on her, before reaching to pull off a piece of seaweed that had comfortably settled itself across the bridge of his nose. “Ugh,” he groaned, his face twisting in disgust as Asha laughed, taking his hand as he pulled her towards himself. “It seems as if I’m never safe from seaweed, regardless of where I go!” 

“You’ve had previous encounters with it?” she teased, trying to ignore how warm he had felt and how close they were to each other. 

“Far more than I care to remember,” he sighed, his upper half sinking beneath the water as his hair covered his eyes. But that didn’t stop him from turning towards her as he began, “So-,”

“So what?” she repeated, unsure of why she’d felt her heart skip a beat as she felt his hand wrap around her waist.

“Aren’t you going to admit that I was right? I told you that spending the day with me wouldn’t be bad!”

She frowned, quietly cursing how a strange heat had spread across her face. As much as she hated to admit it, he was right. Between the discovery of the city and her father’s journals, there was no way she could truthfully say that she was having anything close to what she’d consider a bad day. But that hadn’t meant that she was going to give the already smug-looking star the benefit of knowing he’d been right all along.

So she’d decided to pull a page from the star’s own playbook and quickly change the subject. “Hey Cepheus, you know how you said those buildings in the city were all inspired by star architecture right?”

He nodded, watching as she pointed towards the castle.

“What about the castle? Does it look like it took any inspiration from star architecture?” 

Much to her expectations, the star had shaken his head. “No, no that building is far too young and small for that.”

“Small? I’m sorry- the castle is small to you?”

“In comparison to a star’s castle? Yes. Of course, we have to have different-sized castles to accommodate our true forms, Asha. I doubt a low-ranking member of the court could fit into that castle, much less an alpha star,” he shuddered. “so the ones we have exclusively for stars are far bigger than the ones we build for human visitation and viewing.” 

“You guys let humans visit your palaces?”

He nodded, rising and falling with the tide as he held her. “Yeah. The astronomers who served closely under the alpha stars would frequent there when needed…”

“Were they beautiful?” she implored, looking from him to the sky. “The castles I mean.”

“Very,” he breathed. “And they still are. The alpha stars own several palaces across their domains, but they’re all beautiful.” 

“Have you seen them all?”

“I’ve visited most on occasion,” The alpha stars let star peasants visit their castles on occasion. Hmm, maybe the stars were more progressive than she thought. But then again, she wouldn’t be shocked if the term ‘peasant’ was another thing she could add to her list of interspecies cultural differences. 

“Do you have a particular favorite castle?” she inquired if only to distract herself from her impending questions.

Cepheus hummed thoughtfully as the pinkish-golden hues of his eyes met hers. “Hmm, they’re all beautiful in their own ways, but if I had to pick one, I think I’d give it to the Cerulean court’s castles, or more specifically- the Cygnus castle..”

“The Cygnus castle? Is that in the Cygnus constellation?”

He nodded, a pleasant smile making its way onto his face. “It is. My favorite castle there is the one that sits on the very edge of the domain,” he lifted a hand from the water and pointed to the sky. “You can see the waves from what we call the ocean, gather there. It was a gift from the stars of the sea constellations a few eons back that’s quite sentimental to us,” he sighed, the very edges of his lips quirking upwards in nostalgia. “But It’s always been a very beautiful place to go. Both for its history and its myths.”

“Really? Like what kind of myths?”

“Well…” he started carefully, as he brushed his hair from his eyes. “There’s one that says that if a star wishes to change their fate, they should go and visit those waters…It’s how they believe Deneb, one of the older alpha stars ended up unexpectedly meeting her soul mate when she was promised to another…Personally, I never saw much weight to it…until recently…” 

“Really?” she swam forward, too curious to feel embarrassed as she closed the distance between them even more. “I thought you said you never desired or wanted  for anything more.”

“And I don’t-,” he retorted, evidently not appreciating her question. “I was there for other reasons…sentimental ones if you will, it had nothing to do with what the glowing waters could or couldn’t do for me.”

“Hmm…So, what made you change your mind?” 

His voice trailed off as he turned his gaze upwards into the sky. “Well…I was there right before you wished on me.”

She blinked in surprise. “You were?”

He nodded, this time facing her. “I was.”

“So you think that me wishing on you is an act of fate itself? Really?”

He shrugged, “maybe? But who knows, I didn’t expect anyone to wish on me.” She was silent, as he thoughtfully continued, “One second I was with the others, talking to them, and then the next thing I know, all I can hear is your voice, and it was all that mattered to me in that moment.”

‘Was it?’ she wanted to ask. Of course, it was. He was a wishing star, granting wishes was the sole purpose of his existence, and as soon as he granted her wish he would disappear just as quickly as he came.  That was what she wanted, right? So why had the thought in and of itself, had filled her with an emotion that she couldn’t quite identify? 

She sighed, closing her eyes as she tried to reason. They were from two different worlds. Worlds that by all means were no longer connected. The best they could be was friends. The best she could be to him was a friend, one that she wasn’t sure if he’d remember in a few more years, regardless of- “BAAAAA-,’ screeched Valentino as he leaped into her arms and nearly on top of her.

“Valentino?!” she exclaimed as the star let her go. “What’s gotten into you?!”

The goat pleated before gesturing towards an incoming fin that was rapidly headed straight towards them.

“Shark,” Asha said, her brain barely comprehending what she’d seen until it neared.  “SHARK!?” she screamed, swimming backward.

“Where?” Cepheus asked, turning towards the direction of the incoming shark as it lifted its head out of the water. No sooner had the shark’s eyes met his than she saw the shark come to an abrupt halt before quickly taking off in the direction that it had quickly come from.

Had he-...A shark?!

She exchanged glances with Valentino, who was just as stunned as she was before the star turned back to her, smiling innocently as he’d proudly declared, “Apex Predator.”

“Hahahahahaha!” she erupted into laughter, feeling her stomach hurt as the star neared her, joining in her laughter as well. In all her years at the sea, she’d never seen a shark swim so fast, not even from whales or dolphins that had threatened to kill it. Tears welled in her eyes, as she wrapped her arms around the star. 

Had she not been laughing so hard, perhaps she would’ve noticed that the trio was no longer alone. But unfortunately for her, her discovery would come in the form of a familiar voice cut through the echoes of her laughter, “Asha-,” 

Wait.

Her laughter was cut short as she spun around, facing the familiar sight of Silver’s ship mere yards behind them. The captain stood overhead with the eyes of his prying crew and friends, all looking down to observe the trio as she saw her grandfather frown.

“Asha,” he spoke again.

“Saba?!” she screeched, shoving herself off of Cepheus. How had she not noticed the ship approaching?! Had she been so distracted by the star that-

No. What was she saying?! She couldn’t be distracted by Cepheus he wasn’t even in his star form!

“Saba I can explain, I swear-,” she cried as the sounds of the sailor’s laughter filled her ears. Oh God, how was she going to explain this?!

Her grandfather shook his head, sighing, as Capella pleated from his side, “Yep…my bloodline is doomed….”

[cutecherrygirl]

Felix - Love you Goodbye

Warnings: Angst, smut.

Summary: The year is 2020, and Skz is going through hard times. This causes the members to start overworking themselves and go through waves of stress. Your boyfriend Felix is persistent but you can see everything is starting to take a toll on him. Scared of becoming a burden, and also wanting Felix to be able to give his full focus on the group you decide to end things. Before that happens though, Felix wants just one more night with you.

You and Felix have been together for a year. To be honest, you both have never been happier. Felix had never felt so much love from one source alone. Being together was like something out of movie scenes, that is until recently. These past couple of weeks have been more than hectic. Hyunjin went to Hiatus ,while skz were trying to figure out how to perform Cover is Du4 without Hyunjin.

You’ve attempted to help in any way you possibly could. You would bring lunch and dinner over to the boys dorms when you had time, and when horrid rumors about the members started to suffice you would try to be there emotionally for them as best as you could. There were also plenty of nights where none of you would get any sleep thanks to due dates or practice. You truly tried your best, but you were only one person. You could see how not only exhausted Felix was, but all of the members. 

Even though everything was rigid, they continued to work hard. You felt bad, only being able to watch from afar. That’s when you started to think, how hard it must be for Felix to try to juggle a relationship & his work. He shouldn’t have to worry about not being able to make time for you then feel bad because of his career. You also had just received a job offer in a different country. You knew first hand that with both of your already crazy schedules, a long distance relationship would not be possible.

You sighed, looking up at the ceiling. You had to carry out the toughest decision of your life. You had to do it. It would be harder later than now. Still though, you laid in bed, deep in though. Is this really where it’s going to end? Just like that? The situation didn’t seem real to you. Suddenly your thoughts are interrupted by your phone ringing. It’s now or never. You gulped and answered the phone.

"Hey Lixie..."

“Baby…” Felix whined from the other side of the line. You couldn’t help but smile. “Yes bub?” He was so cute. “I miss you. Come see your cute Chicken boyfriend.” Felix spoke with a sweet tone. You giggled. “I’ll be there in 10.” With that you hung up the phone. You sat up from your bed, realizing the reality that was about to hit you both. You rushed and grabbed your car keys, heading out.

“Hello there, my sweetie.” Felix greeted you at his room door. He pecked your lips, smiling afterwards. You looked down, allowing your thoughts from earlier to eat you up. Felix noticed something was off and looked down at you. “Are you okay baby?” He asked, concern clear in his voice. Your eyes looked up to meet his own. “Felix we need to break up.” Your words lingered in the air. The room was suddenly silent, your breathing being the only thing audible. Felix was looking towards the ground, unable to say anything. “What are you talking about? Is it me? Was it something I did? Y/n I promise I can-'' You stopped his babbling, “No Felix, it’s nothing you did.” Your voice started to become shaky and your vision blurry. You took his hands in yours and he held on tight. “I’m moving out of the country, I got a job offer. It just wouldn’t work. And you should be able to focus on Skz.”

You smiled as you continued, trying to hold back tears. “Plus, I don’t doubt Skz will conquer success.” It was the truth, they were the strongest group of people you’ve ever met. You had every bit of faith in them. “But it’s not fair to the both of us if we can only hold each other back. It’ll be better if we both just ended things here.” There was no doubt Felix’s heart was breaking at this very moment. But he understood your every word. You were right. He couldn’t argue with that.

“Where are you going?” He asked trying to focus on the more positive. “If I tell you that, you’d just end up at my doorstep.” You forced a smile at your remark. “So? I love you Y/n.” Felix couldn’t contain his tears anymore. He grabbed your waist, pulling you into his embrace. Felix held on tightly, letting his cries become vocal as he sobbed into the crook of your neck. “I love you too.” You joined him in woe. You caressed his back, trying to sooth him by any means. Felix lifted your chin up with his fingers. He planted a soft tender kiss. But even that couldn’t stop the tears. The kiss became more sloppy but longing at the same time, the taste of your salty tears mixed in added additional wetness. You suddenly pulled away, looking him in the eyes.

“Stay with me… one last night.” Felix requested. How could you deny him? Tonight would be the last of each other, why not spend it in pure sensual love?

You nodded in response and once again Felix’s lips met yours. This time it was more passionate, more heated, but still full of heartbreak. Felix’s hands began crawling up your shirt, rubbing small circles into your bare waist. His touch was something you had never gotten used too, goosebumps spread all over. His tongue slipped into your mouth, twirling around with yours. After being like this for a good minute, the heat became too much for Felix. He pulled away, a tiny string of saliva pulling between you. He lifted up your shirt.

His lips rushed to kissing your exposed skin. He was sucking, licking, biting all over your neck and collarbones, while unclamping your bra. Your breathing became heavy. You couldn’t help but moan softly as Felix found your sweet spot. It was a good thing some members were gone for a family visit, & the rest of the members were out of the dorms.

Once Felix got your bra off he picked you up and laid you on his bed. He hovered over you kissing you again. 

You were still his for the time being. You tugged at his shirt, usually he would smirk at your eagerness, but he just bit his lip trying to refrain from a look of bitterness. He pulled his shirt over his head. You sat up and began kissing his upper body, small sweet pecks. Felix sighed at the feeling. Everything was hot but his mind kept going back to the fact this would be the last he would be able to feel your lips all over him like this. Felix grew frustrated and pushed you back down into the bed.

He pulled your jeans off with haste, you gasped at his swift motions. He went down and kissed your hardened nipples. He grinded down on your heat while his tongue swirled around your breast. “Felix..” You moaned his name, letting him take over every inch of you. “What baby? Tell me what you want.” His voice was breathy, trying to mask the shakiness. You grinded up into him, creating heated tension. You moaned again, “Felix, I want…” You trailed off. You pulled Felix’s face down, you bit his ear softly, a moan escaping his plump lips. “No. I need you.” You stated. With those words, he unbuckled his pants, stripping off the last remaining clothing. 

Before he could move further you grasped his member in your hand. Felix sucked in his breath quickly. You bent over leaving wet kisses up and down his shaft. Felix closed his eyes as you took him in your mouth. He loved when you sucked him off. “Just like that baby.” He exhaled. You detached your mouth and smiled up at his scrunched up expression. His hair already clung to his sweaty face. Oh, how you were going to miss him. Felix went back to hovering over you and slipped off your panties. You let out a shaky breath, remembering for the hundredth time that this was the last time.

It’s like you were both connected, because Felix felt it too. He looked down, making direct eye contact. His eyes held nothing but both, love and melancholy. “I love you so much.” He said, You smiled sadly at him, too scared to respond to anything, scared because this was becoming real. Felix aligned himself with your entrance and slowly pushed in. You moaned loudly. Felix kissed you passionately. Once he felt you adjust he slowly pumped in & out at a slow pace. Even though you were lost in the euphoria of the moment your heart continued to ache. Felix made love to you slowly and lovingly. He made sure that you could feel his love for you, even as his chest felt like it was being ripped open. “Felix..”

You moaned his name, gripping his hair. He grunted lowly. He quickened his pace. “You feel so good Y/n. Keep moaning my name baby.” He was engulfed in these hot flames of arousal and despair. He clung onto your body because this was the last time he’d be able to hold you this close again. You shut your eyes, a single tear rolling down as you moaned. You kissed Felix’s shoulder, relishing in the feeling of him inside you. The thought alone was enough to send you over the edge. Your body shuddered as you came undone around him.

Pretty soon you felt his movement become unsteady and sloppy. With a few more thrust he pulled out, letting out low moans as his hot liquid released on your lower stomach. Your heavy breathing was the only thing audible in the room now. Once Felix calmed down he grabbed a towel and cleaned you up. He laid beside you pulling your body close to him. He pecked your temple and closed his eyes. He knew yours remained on him but he ignored your gaze on purpose. He didn’t want to come to terms with the reality in front of him. He didn’t want to let you go.

He didn’t want to hear you speak a word because he would fall apart all over again. Maybe if he just held you close & shut his eyes all of this would’ve been a bad dream. He’d wake you up to the smell of pancakes, you’d strut into the kitchen with his shirt on, and he’d be able to see your beautiful smile once again.

Serenity had taken its course as you engulfed yourself in the feeling of his arms wrapped around you. You closed your eyes and fell into a slumber by the boy you who would soon become a memory.

Your eyes fluttered open. Your first instinct was to look towards the window. The color of the morning was a taint greyish blue. Meaning, the sun hadn’t come out yet. Your head turned towards Felix’s sleeping body. His blonde hair was sticking up in all sorts of places, his lips swollen were puffy, and the duvet outlined the silhouette of his body beautifully. You smiled, mentally snapping a picture of his state in your head. You pecked his forehead tenderly. The feeling of overwhelming heartbreak returning. You stood up gathering your things and putting your clothes back on. You grabbed your keys and turned the doorknob to leave. You looked back at Jimin one last time and frowned. The tears formed in your eyes but you hastily walked out, leaving before you could turn back and do something stupid.

A couple hours later, when the sun was peeking through the windows Felix slowly opened his eyes. He smiled remembering the events of last night. He turned to look at your sleeping body but he was met with emptiness. And there was his cruel reality. The loneliness had hit him like a ton of bricks. His heart clenched in his chest and the tears built up in his eyes again. Could you really be gone? For good? Forever?

Felix looked around the room in panic looking for any piece of you. Suddenly your existence itself felt like a dream. A dream that was never true. A dream that was disappearing from his memory. To his dismay, not a trace of you was found. It was like you were never there. Felix wept aloud, his hand gripping his chest tightly. The pain was too much to bear. He fell to his knees as the tears ran down his face nonstop. His worst nightmare had come true. This really was the end.

🩵🩵🩵🩵

[luvistqrzzz]

TRIVIA : LOVE — enhypen hyung line oneshot series

Finding love is not easy they say but what happens when you fall for someone at the most unexpected time in an unexpected way? — whisper a small oops and continue to fall further into the loophole of love.

aka the chronicles of a hopeless romantic soul

PAIRING && GENRE — hyung line x f!reader, can be read as stand alone oneshots, crack, ansgt, fluff, happy ending, more tba in individual fics

TAGLIST — open send an ask or comment to be added (you will be tagged for all the 4 fics) — @flwrshee @aosbie @rsmura @enhastolemyheart @yannew @sophiko22 @www-jungwon @nwjws @in-somnias-world @zzinyl @mrchweeee @ghostiiess @ilovecheese09

PERMANENT TAGLIST — @rikizm @str0l0gy @yenqa @heetoldme @crxzs @s00buwu @nhularin @bunreis @hysgf @mochamvgz @myonos — will be added in all parts

STATUS — to be released !!

AN — TYSM FLO @dollikis FOR THE MAIN BANNER ISTG SHE'S SUCH A GENIUS 🫶🏼🥹 I CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF IT ILYSM FLO my banners for the rest of the fic look like shit 😻🤞🏼 i feel the general summary is so cringe ( if someone comes up w a better one then pls help 😭) ALSO the fics in the series are based on rom com books tbh ive been planning and editing the masterlist for the past two weeks ahaha so idk how to feel about it... technically im still on my writing hiatus but ill try to start working on the fics after exams,,, hope yall look forward to it hehe ^_^ !!

"It was like I was trying to memorize him — in case this was the last time I would ever see him." — (failed) STEPS TO NOT MISS YOUR EX

There were a lot of ways your sister's wedding could have gone wrong but none of them included you crossing paths with your ex who happened to be the assistant wedding planner.  Alternatively, where you were apparently "over" Lee Heeseung but an (almost) disastrous wedding made you think otherwise.

a luvistqrzzz rendition of save the date by morgan matson — [ read here ]

“Here's the thing about writing Happily Ever Afters: it helps if you believe in them.” — LETTERS TO YOU, ME AND THE BEACH

When a crippling writer’s block and an almost broke bank account forces you to move to an old family home, you didn’t expect to cross paths with your arch nemesis from high school, the ever obnoxious, Park Jay. But maybe the series of events that unfold during the summer could help you with a romantic book or two.

a luvistqrzzz rendition of beach read by emily henry — [ read here ]

“Note to self: Do not under any circumstances fall in love again.” — A 1000 WAYS BACK TO YOU

When Jake realizes he doesn't want to be (only) friends with you anymore, you are already moving halfway around the world and he's left alone on the other side of the line. Will it take two oblivious idiots 10 years and more than a hundred missed chances to see the feelings they've been hiding for long?

a luvistqrzzz rendition of where rainbows end by cecelia ahern — [ read here ]

"Well sure, who doesn't need a boyfriend? But realistically, those exotic creatures are hard to come by. At least a quality one.” — A STRANGER'S GUIDE TO LOVE AND CHRISTMAS

For Sunghoon, Christmas is like any other day, only a hundred times more crowded. But then he stumbles across a notebook at the local bookstore. A notebook full of... dares. As he and the anonymous author spend the entire Christmas eve swapping stories and dreams around the city of Seoul, where will it lead Sunghoon to?

a luvistqrzzz rendition of dash and lily's book of dares by rachel cohn and david levithan — [ read here ]

works belongs to @luvistqrzzz do not copy repost or translate my work

reblogs and feedback are heavily appreciated

networks- @hyfenet @enhanet @en-web @k-films

[spinningwebsandtales]

Imagine Mirage Introducing You To The Other Autobots

Mirage X Human FemReader

Rating: None

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.3k

Requested by Anonymous

Part 1 here

(A/N:) This was a request I had gotten a little bit ago and the requester has asked to remain anonymous. Which I can 100% respect and it shall stay that way. I wanted to get this done while I am on hiatus and after this is posted I will still remain on hiatus as I have so many things to do in time for next month plus several ideas that I need to get done. I have over 50 things in my drafts and a certain story I need to finish as well. My requests will still remain closed and my posting will still be few and far between. My family and I are still taking the loss of our cat we had over 16 years rough so please bear with me. I’m working as fast and much as I can. But anyway I really enjoyed this request and I hope the requester finds it everything they hoped for. Thank you for requesting and considering me worthy enough to do it. I really enjoyed writing this and I hope to see more Mirage requests in the future when I open them back up! Until next time happy reading! ~Countess

Mirage had been gone for a little while and you never realized how big of a part he had become in your life until he no longer came around. For a couple weeks you would go back to the usual meeting spot only for him to not show up. You would stay for a couple hours hoping that he would show up while keeping yourself busy by sketching the scenery, but you couldn’t wait forever. At first you worried something horrible happened to him, until you started to think that maybe you had made him mad and he no longer wanted to see you. The thought made you a little depressed as you couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing the goofy Autobot ever again. You stopped going for about a month now, as the disappointment at not seeing him was too much to stand anymore. But your heart longed to go once again, just to see if he had started to coming back again. You never realized how much those little moments (and even the stupid heart pounding joy rides) meant to you. 

Despite telling yourself that it was stupid, that possibly you were just delusional. That it was all just a dream and that it was a possibility that you were beginning to go crazy. But despite telling yourself these things mentally, you found yourself at the same spot gazing out at the scenery with your sketchbook on your lap. Despite the surrounding noises echoing through the air, you focused on the scratching of your pencil against the paper. Losing yourself in a fantasy that you could hear the rumble of Mirage’s familiar engine mixing in with the noisy bustle of strangers’ lives. Until you swore you heard it again, but this time closer. The movement of your pencil stopped and hit the paper as a mismatched Porsche of different colored and rusty parts skidded around the curve. A welcome honk piercing the air before the Porsche began to transform kicking up dust before revealing the mech you missed so dearly.

“Mirage,” you shouted tossing everything to the ground before racing towards him. He beamed brightly giving you a guilty wave until you clung to him tightly. Despite promising you wouldn’t cry if this day ever came, your emotions betrayed you as tears stung your eyes.

“Miss me,” he teased poking at your wet cheek.

“Shut up,” you growled not really in the mood for his teasing. Maybe you were dreaming or maybe this was just wishful thinking? You didn’t care at the moment nor did you want to think about it too hard. Mirage patiently waited for you to finish your moment of emotional release. You sniffed loudly, wiping at your eyes before stepping away. He still had that smug grin on his face which made you stick out your tongue in defiance.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” he snorted. “I missed you too.”

“Stupid mech,” you muttered. “Where were you? Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?”

He rubbed the back of his head, the human like gesture not lost on you, as he seemed to move anxiously with guilt on his face.

“It’s a long story,” he replied. “One that I promise to tell you in full later, but there’s something I have to do first.”

“Are you leaving again,” you mumbled as you felt the sorrow of him leaving beginning to drown you.

“Technically yes,” Mirage replied. “But you’re coming with me this time.”

“Really?!”

“Yep,” Mirage grinned. “Got some friends I’d like you to meet. Starting with my best bud! C’mon out Noah!”

You glanced at Mirage in confusion before movement caught your eye. A young man rounded the corner sheepishly waving before he glared up at the mech. He awkwardly walked towards you before offering his hand for you to shake.

“If it wasn’t for Noah here I wouldn’t be standing at all honestly. Despite the terrible paint job.”

“Shut up man,” Noah retorted.

That gave you some explanation on Mirage’s new less sleek look. After a little further explanation from Mirage, you and Noah were sitting inside Mirage’s cab cruising down the highway to a place that Mirage was being a little too secretive about. You scratched at the nylon of the seat belt while you watched the scenery go by.

“Mirage is a bit much ain’t he,” Noah spoke up causing you to jump at the sudden break in the quiet.

“Just a little bit,” you answered, causing the mech to scoff.

“I am a joy and you two know it,” he retorted.

“Hush,” you slapped his dash, “ the grown-ups are talking. Autobots need to keep quiet and watch the road.”

Said Autobot grumbled his displeasure but blessedly remained silent while you and Noah talked. Conversing eased you back into a sense of calm as you couldn’t help but be nervous while Mirage was being vague. When Mirage finally screeched to a halt in front of an abandoned warehouse you really began to get nervous. Why could he possibly want to bring you to such a place? You hadn’t seen him in forever and he brings a new friend and takes you to a place that could easily be seen as a crime scene. You began to wonder if this mech you were with was even Mirage. Which seemed silly how many talking, living, transforming robots were even on Earth let alone this city? That question was answered quickly as vehicles of all makes and colors began to drive out of the warehouse.

“Meet my fellow Autobots,” Mirage gestured. You stood there stiffly watching the vehicles transform just like Mirage. The biggest one that happened to be a semi scared you the most as you felt a tense aura surrounding him.

“This is Optimus Prime, the leader,” Mirage gestured to the bigger mech. “Here is Bumblebee, Arcee, and Wheeljack.”

“Hi,” you spoke timidly the whole group of transformers causing you to panic just a little bit.

“Okay,” Mirage sat down roughly before patting the concrete beside him. “I owe you a huge explanation.”

You plopped down right beside him, “Yes you do.”

Your mind whirled at all the information pouring forth. So far the only thing you could keep straight was something named Unicron had tried to destroy Earth and the Autobots stopped him with another team that transformed into animals and basically Mirage gave up his life. It was only because of Noah that he was here today. The other Autobots put in a few other details they thought Mirage had missed and by the end you were ready to take a nap. It was a lot but the one thing you weren’t confused was the sense of gratitude for Mirage and his fellow Autobots. If it hadn’t been for them, you wouldn’t even had a life to miss Mirage and you were glad that you finally got to meet the rest of them.

“It’s a lot to process,” Arcee spoke.

“It is,” you agreed before standing up. “But one thing that is easy to understand is thank you. Thank you all so much. I had no idea and none of you had to, but you saved our world anyway.”

“It’s the least we can do,” Optimus spoke, “while we live on your planet.”

“Hey,” you laughed, “stay as long as you want to. Sounds like we could use some protectors like you.”

Optimus nodded and Mirage’s optics began to gleam brighter in glee. He scooped you up pressing you against his metal cheek. You chuckled pressing against him in your version of a hug. Despite everything you were so glad that you met Mirage and you were glad he brought you here. You found yourself realizing that you wanted to remain here and get to know the others better. It wouldn’t take long for you to consider the other Autobots a friend as well as Mirage set you down in the middle of all of them. This was your life now and you couldn’t bring yourself to regret one moment of it.