#I didn’t do as well as some other past papers
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neighbor!simon x reader. longer read.
you’re neighbor is a homebody. sort of.
he’s either never home or always home. you aren’t sure what he does, but whatever it is leaves his flat vacant for months at a time, not so much as a mouse breath breaching the thin popcorn walls that separate your rooms.
and when he is in the complex, you’d never know it. a shut in, the only give away is the muffled news channel that burrows through your moldings, or smithed footfall at ungodly hours.
the first time you caught him moving in while off to work. big bloke- and when you waved to him he stared, before lumbering into his complex. given, he was holding a large cardboard box, so you weren’t expecting him to return the greeting. but a hello would’ve been nice.
it was 4 months until you got a good look at him.
you were awake at a time you shouldn’t have been for a reason you had long forgotten. you do remember thinking you might as well do your laundry.
when you went down to the mat, there he was.
tracker fed shoulders taking up half the space, and on an inhale they took two thirds. clothes looked as though they had been dyed in pen ink and left to dry in hail. mud boots, thick legs, and the silhouette of a cauliflower ear against the fabric of his balaclava.
he glared at you like you weren’t supposed to be there. an anomaly, disturbed his routine. steel face, stone eyes, swear you’d seen the same look in your history books on the shields of greek soldiers.
it all scared you shitless, so you turned on your heel and didn’t go back until the morning. you make it a point to hustle past his door after that.
but you tend to take more than you can handle. swaddling your groceries as you wobble up the stairs, just barely there before your foot catches on the last step. produce among some of the other fragile items scattered across the tiles, and you curse under your breath.
you wouldn’t characterize yourself as a klutz, but it scrambling to collect your groceries feet from your door isn’t helping your case. the paper bags struggle against your grip, and it feels like you’re just biding your time until they all rip apart.
“you need help.”
its said more like an observation than it is a question. you turn slowly, and a goliath stands 6 feet and something over you. he sports a medical mask and a ballcap, which reveals new features- sun bleached skin that peels from the bridge of his nose to between his brows, which are thick and blonde. the left is cut in half by scar tissue and spite. if you squint you see freckles.
the night he scared you, you remembered his eyes as pitch. crow feather. under your bed.
you now see they’re the deepest shade of brown.
“i- no its fine i..” your arms do a dance with the bags, trying to keep them steady.
he grabs them both from you, and suddenly they still. its like handing squealing pigs to a farmer. built for holding them. it makes you feel weird that you like it.
“unlock the door.”
you do as you’re told and find your keys in your back pocket. fumble at the lock before opening the door and standing to the side to let him in. he nods.
sets your groceries down before gently tipping the brim of his cap. he doesn’t say anything before leaving.
and this started the strangest routine.
every week you’d get groceries, he’d be there.
the first time he was on the second flight of stairs. when you questioned how he knew you’d been shopping, he rolled his shoulders and scoffed.
“your huffin n puffin gave you away.”
he was there for four more trips. each time, you had gotten more words out of him. found out he had the driest sense of humor and a plethora of knock-knock jokes that you painfully laughed at.
he even kept up with the occasional flirt.
“yknow, you could start charging for your manual labor.”
“you rich?” he returned.
you laughed. “far from it. but this is a service, and you haven’t started making demands so…”
he stopped and stared at your back before you turned around. “so what?”
“i have to assume you just like me.”
he rolled his eyes, but you caught the way his cheek twitched under his eyes. although it was hidden by the mask, you had made him smile.
“don’t get your hopes up.”
all of it was enough for you to get comfortable. and then he wasn’t there.
the absence was strange enough to make your pace stutter when you reached the second floor, but you recovered and trekked to your room.
not without glancing at his door, though.
he must be back at work. surely he isn’t…well. he couldn’t have moved out without telling you. you aren’t close but maybe you are?
you thought so hard about it for so long that you placed your ear to the wall separating your flats.
after a few moments, you heard nothing. not even a mouse breath.
you felt foolish for being so relieved. and you kept feeling foolish for hoping he’d be there with every errand, and disappointed when he wasn’t.
it was 4 more groceries trips before you saw him again.
waiting at the entrance of the complex, crossed arms and black attire stood out like a sore thumb in the winter blight that bit at your nose with snow and temperatures below freezing. you picked up the pace.
when you got to the cement steps, you sorely regretted your decision to jog. not because it winded you, or it amplified the struggle you had with your bags, but because of the smug smile you could see crinkling the bastards cheeks under his mask.
“you missed me.”
you handed him a bag. “i missed your arms. carry that.”
you could hear the grin from behind you.
“whatever you say, sweet’eart.”
a/n- i didn’t really know how to continue this, if you have an recs send them in!! i make no promises tho.
#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon x reader#simon x you#ghost x you#ghost x reader#simon ghost x you#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#ghost cod#cod#ghost call of duty#call of duty
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SECOND DATE UPDATE!
izuku midoriya got ghosted by you after the first date! so, he turns to mic's radio show segment in an act of desperation to know what happened... fem reader (pronoun only used once), y/n had mic as a homeroom teacher before. post war.
midoriya is incredibly nervous as he stands by on the other line as mic's cheery voice blasts through his ear and through the radios of thousands, mic's words sounding incoherent as his mind races on the possible outcomes. though, he's sure there's only one.
he's going to be absolutely humiliated.
"so midoriya here had a nice at home date with a person named y/n, and according to him, everything was super fun! when he asked for a second date, he's been hit with nothing but excuses! so he’s waiting here in the other line while we ring up his date…"
riiiing.
it's an unknown number. you shrug, choosing to answer the call.
"hello?"
"hey hey hey! is this y/n?"
you recognize the voice coming from your speaker, your lips curling into a smile. "is this mr. yamada? oh my, yes this is she! it's been a while."
you can hear him chuckle, "how're ya doing, kiddo? i've seen you pop up on my newsfeed the other day—but we're here on official biz. i'm calling from put your hands up radio because there's this listener of ours that you went on a date with..."
"oh shoot" you say, "um, who is it?"
"do you remember going out with midoriya?"
oh god no, you think. your mind suddenly becomes flooded with images and memories of the past week, where you spent a few hours over at midoriya’s apartment. what was the purpose of all this—did he spill the beans to your homeroom teacher?
you sigh as you shake your head, "yes, i do remember him."
"that sigh tells me it wasn't a good date, now, was it?" mic asks, his curiosity is evident. "wanna tell me what he did wrong?"
you awkwardly chuckle, "midoriya's a really good guy, i swear!"
"but you've been blowin him off ever since your date! i've seen you on the papers, but are you reaaally busy or is that just a load of cap?" mic pressures, and you can only imagine his eyebrow raised in confusion.
"i did? my bad, i've been real busy with the agency i haven't had the time to reply to anyone.."
there's a few seconds of silence, before mic speaks up. "producer here told me you posted on your socials a few hours ago, so unless you have a team who posts selfies of you buying tea, you've been on your phone, my dear y/n" he laughs, "now spill. what happened with midoriya?"
"well, we had a nice dinner at his house, and we played some board games and watched three all might documentaries."
mic scoffs and laughs, “that does sound like a midoriya, alright. but hey—that seems like a nice date—what happened?”
you were unsure of whether or not you wanted to speak up, but decided to do so. “he just wouldn’t stop talking about all might! and, i know he’s his father figure or something but come on! even during dinner he kept mentioning how all might liked cedar from yakushima so he got a cedar scented candle because of that. we played all might themed board games. geez—even when i went to the bathroom he had an all might towel and soap dispenser. i damn nearly fell asleep during the second documentary and he shook me awake because i was missing the best part of it.”
by now, mic is exploding in laughter, the faint sound of his fist banging the table being heard. there’s a couple giggles heard in the background too, from his producer and other guests present.
“oh my god i didn’t know.”
your eyes widen in shock as you realize who the voice belonged to. mic clears his throat, “so, midoriya’s on the other line because he wanted to speak to you and know what he did wrong, and also to ask for a second date! surprise!”
you nearly choke on your spit as you hear his voice through your phone’s speaker. “i really didn’t know you didn’t like all might, but i mean you should’ve said something! we watched the top three documentaries!”
“did you ask me if i wanted to watch three documentaries about all might, midoriya?”
“you’re right—i’m so sorry” midoriya apologizes, and it seems genuine. you know he’s the type of guy to be oblivious at times, so you give him the benefit of the doubt.
“is there any way i can make it up to you? a dinner at a restaurant, a trip, we can even watch documentaries of your favorite hero in return! i really like you, y/n, and i would like another chance.”
you can’t stop your heart from beating quicker when those words left his mouth. he’s a lover boy through and through, and he’s truly devoted to what he likes.
“edgeshot. i want an edgeshot interview compilation marathon.”
you can practically hear midoriya smile, “okay, great! i actually know a lot about him, did you know that during the war he—“
“oookay! looks like it’s all settled” mic chuckles, “i think it’s the first time we’ve had a second date update success!”
#bnha x reader#midoriya izuku x reader#izuku x reader#izuku midoriya x reader#mha x reader#deku x reader#my hero academia x reader#bnha x you#mha x you#boku no hero academia x reader#izuku midoriya x you#izuku x you#midoriya x reader#midoriya x you#deku x y/n#deku x you#izuku midoriya
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GF x Sky: Got That Magic Touch
AN: Ford doesn’t know that Stan is Non-Binary yet, so he just uses the same pronouns that he uses for himself while thinking about his sibling. They’re twins after all.
I wanted to touch on the idea of Ford learning Stan could do magic, but in a way that wasn’t directly confrontational. And could serve to let Ford ease his way into learning about Sky magic without making something go horribly wrong in order to make it happen.
So, Ford finds Stan’s reminder basin.
There was a water basin in the basement, with some little glowing paper crafts gently floating atop the water.
It had taken a while for Ford to notice it.
But, after hiding from his brother working on dismantling the portal for the past few days, he finally spotted it when taking a moment to stretch his legs.
He’d planned to look around the basement more, see what else Stanley had brought down over the years. It was… Cluttered, but in a Library Backroom way. Things were organized, if not very neatly. And he was curious about what his brother had decided to hide in the secret basement that may have also been used in Stan’s work on the portal. Or simply because he’d wanted to keep it from the nosy busybodies of town.
Give his mind a break from the portal itself and let it look over other things.
Like old science journals and textbooks or algebra studies or- well, anything else Stanley had found interesting enough to keep. Besides, if he was in the basement, then the children weren’t. And Stanley was protective of them, so keeping them out was a small way to make things less dangerous.
(He wasn’t hiding from Stanley after his brother had yelled at him. After the reality check his brother had forcibly given him. After being forced to realize how much he’d already lost before Stanley had even entered the picture. No, he was just… Reacquainting himself with the world before he properly rejoined it. That was all. It was fine.)
Then he’d noticed the soft orange glow out of the corner of his eye and found the basin and the rather cozy nook it was set up in.
There were three little crafts there. A boat, a lantern, and a crane. All of them glowing softly in the dim lighting of the basement. The boat and crane a soft orange and the lantern a gentle yellow. They were actually rather pleasant to look at. The side area they were set out in looked… meditative. The shallow basin they were floating in was sat on the floor, and there was a low table stacked with books and writing implements strewn out across it. Several cushions were on the floor, making it just comfortable enough to sit down.
There were a few more little papercrafts, all neatly flattened in a few shoe boxes on the opposite side of the basin from the desk. They were all yellow-orange paper, by the looks of them, but they weren’t glowing like the ones in the basin.
However, it was still very strange to see something like that. Had Stanley made them at some point? It didn’t seem like something his brother would have made. But, then again, Stanley himself was very different from what Ford had remembered. So perhaps they were normal even if Ford found them strange.
And he couldn’t help investigating anything he found strange. (Hopefully, Stanley wouldn’t be upset about him looking at them. Ford would be careful with them, nonetheless.)
At first, he had thought there was some kind of little light inside them that was making the soft light. But when he’d sat down and looked closer at the little crafts, he realized there wasn’t a tucked inside light that was making them glow. The paper itself was glowing.
How curious. Ford thought to himself, leaning forward to observe the crafts. They looked surprisingly sturdy, despite their make. He would have expected the paper to be coming apart by now, considering they were floating in water for (presumably) several days. Most papers would have been thoroughly waterlogged and losing their shape, but they almost looked new. Like they’d only just been placed in the water.
Perhaps Stanley had treated the bottoms of the paper with something that repelled the water? Wax of some kind would do the trick. Or perhaps they weren’t actually made of paper and were instead made of something else that simply looked like paper.
He gingerly picked up one, the boat, to examine it closer and see if he could tell what it was made from. (A tiny boat that definitely felt like it was made of paper. If a very smooth type.) And a voice echoed in his mind.
Stanley’s voice echoed in his head.
“Ford fell through the broken Gate in the other room. I have to fix it so he can come home again. It might be his only way back. He wanted to keep it a secret, so no one that lives outside the Shack can know about the Gate.”
Ford gasped, nearly dropping the tiny boat.
How…? He looked down at the little boat with wide eyes. Stanley’s voice had sounded slightly different, younger almost, but he could still hear the sadness and determination that had colored his brother’s tone.
(The use of the word “gate”, while not a wrong term for the portal, was not quite correct either. Then again, a portal was a gateway so it was still a feasible word to use.)
Ford ran his fingers over the paper, trying to find some explanation for the voice. But all that happened was the voice replaying when his fingers tapped the sides of the boat. Like it was a snippet of something that Stanley had said to himself at some point that, somehow, the little boat had stored within itself.
Was the paper some kind of… Magical messaging spell? Some kind of magical paper Stanley had gotten and used to- Leave a reminder for himself? To remind himself of what happened to Ford and why he was working on the portal?
(He ignored the uncomfortable feeling in his chest at the thought.)
Ford slowly placed the boat back in the water, looking over the other floating origami as he did. Were all of them messages Stanley left for himself?
He reached out for the crane next, his curiosity too strong to ignore. (What else had Stanley felt was so important that he needed to have it written in magic to avoid forgetting it?)
”Do not trust the Blind Eye! Ignorance is only bliss until it gets you hurt or worse. No matter how much they think they’re “helping” by doing it. Memories are part of you, no one should ever take them away. Memory thieves are just as dangerous as the things they think they’re protecting you from.”
The pure anger in that message made Ford jump in surprise. But then the words sank in and sent a chill down his spine.
He vaguely remembered the Blind Eye. He had deduced they were a cult of some kind with an interest in his work before he’d gone through the portal. He hadn’t been able to figure out their reasons, however. If they were trying to help him or hinder him in stopping Bill’s plans. They had simply been just another bunch of figures that fed into his rampant paranoia at that time.
Stanley’s reminder seemed to imply that they had some way to remove someone’s memories… He called them “memory thieves” after all.
People with such power were not to be trusted. Such power was far too easy to abuse even if you had good intentions behind it. The longer time went on, the harder it was to justify what was actually helping and what would put people at more risk if they forgot about it. Forgetting dangerous things has a very high risk of only getting you hurt later on, as well. Because you would forget that there was danger in the first place and end up walking right into it without realizing it was something you needed to avoid.
(It was nice to know that there were things that he and Stanley could be in complete agreement about.)
It was a good thing that his world’s Fiddleford had destroyed his memory gun. He… Had destroyed it, right? Ford was fairly certain he had… Unless these people somehow stole another version of it or Fiddleford’s plans for it. Which was possible, though unlikely. His old assistant would have mentioned the break-in if it happened. They probably had a different method that let them take people’s memories. Possibly something from the area that they found that allowed them to perform something like that.
He made a mental note to look into it later. People like that were far more dangerous than even they realized. To themselves as much as to others.
(Fiddleford had likely moved back to California long ago. He doubted his old friend had been in danger of encountering those people. They had appeared after he’d quit the project, after all.)
He returned the crane to the water, tapping a finger against the lantern instead of trying to pick it up.
“I’ve been going insane trying to understand magic and why so much is different depending on who you ask. Finally gave in and made a book that has everything I know in it, just so I can find some through lines for the others. I put the Crown on the front of the first one to make it easier to find.”
Now that had Ford’s interest.
His brother wrote a book? On magic? When did he learn any? Where had he learned it? It sounded like it was different from what he had studied, based on the comments about consistency.
Ford’s eyes trailed to the books stacked on and around the table beside him.
What were the chances that one of them was the book in question?
Considering that this was Stanley, fairly high. He turned to the books and started carefully searching through them. The note said something about a crown, but what did that mean? Did he just print a crown on the front?
Ford checked the front and back covers of every book. It was probably originally a blank cover, otherwise, Stan wouldn’t have been able to put an image of his own on it. So anything that already had writing there was automatically out. Along with any silly pictures on the front. There were a few nicer-looking books with patterns over the entire covers, but none with crowns.
He paused at a book with a plain, dark blue-green cover. Some kind of fake leather and sturdy to the touch. But what caught his eye was the front.
There was a constellation pressed into the front, with light blue paint in the stars. He knew it was the constellation Cassiopeia. That was what every constellation map in the world labeled it as.
But… He had a memory of a freckled, gap-toothed little boy squinting up at the stars from the beach. Frowning as Ford read constellations from a book he’d borrowed from the library and they both tried to find them in the sky.
“Cassio-what? Why would anyone call it that?”
“It’s from a Greek myth! She was a queen who bragged too much and got punished for it.”
“Why would they put her in the stars if she did something bad? That’s dumb. It doesn’t look like a lady anyway.”
“Well, what do you think it looks like then?”
“Hmmm… I think it looks more like a crown!”
There had been several constellations like that. Cygnus was an umbrella or a parasol, Stanley insisted that Ursa Major was actually a manta ray, Gemini was a marker stone of some kind and several more. But at that moment, as Ford looked down at the book in his hands, he remembered that his brother saw Cassiopeia as a crown.
He opened the book to its first page, where there was a star shape of some kind carefully drawn and the words “The Magic of the Realms of the Sky” written over the top of the page. And, at the very bottom, in very small writing.
‘First Book, if I end up having to make more.’
Found it. And now it was time to start reading.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Stanley’s book seemed to be a mix of a beginner’s guide and an index of magic.
Which, while different than what Ford normally would have liked, was still educational in its own right.
Some things were explained, the how and some of the why, but others seemed more like a list of the magic that Stanley had, apparently, learned at some point in time. Trying to put everything he knew to paper so it could be referenced more easily at a later date.
(He wondered if Stanley had struggled with it as much as he had when he’d first tried to learn magic. It had been quite a hurdle over his years writing his second journal. There had been a few who’d questioned why he was learning their kind of magic but had moved on once he’d explained that he was a researcher.)
Much of this particular type of magic was done through gestures, movements, and steps that created an effect of some kind when performed. But there were a few that seemed to use a mix of materials to create paints and items that had effects that could either be stored or triggered at a later time. Much of them used stone or cloth as a base that was altered magically, and for many the trigger seemed to be either light from a castor or a fire.
He had seen some things about capes in the book that seemed almost more cultural than magical purposes. So perhaps part of the emphasis on certain things came from whatever culture that Stanley had learned this from and not simply a personal preference. Which was also very interesting but brought up questions of what the culture even was.
Stanley had a rather elaborate cape that Ford had spotted upstairs. It looked heavy, with some kind of scales layered on top of it. Perhaps the scales had some kind of spell woven into them? He would need to examine it to confirm that theory.
Maybe once Stanley had gone to bed, he could look it over…
The drawings that Stanley put in looked as though they’d been done with a brush, and were very simple. They were meant to convey actions step-by-step and not just depict what something should look like. But they were also very simple, borderline stick figures for many of them. Which, while informative, were a tad plain.
(Stanley used to be much more artistic… He had loved making comics when they were children. But, perhaps, his skills had grown rusty before he’d taken over Ford’s life.)
Interestingly, Ford noticed the references to the creatures from Shack. Mostly in the form of doodles in the corners of pages and a small section of the book Stanley had labeled as “calls”. He assumed it meant some kind of magic used through the voice, which seemed different from the verbal spells Ford had used before and had more limited effects from what he could tell.
(But that also held the interesting theory that these creatures may actually exist, somewhere in the world…)
One definitive effect seemed to be the ability to find other users of this particular brand of magic via a “call”. And not simply someone capable of that magic but an active practitioner of it. Assumedly, that meant that there was no active hostility or severe competitive streaks in them. Or that something had happened that required them to have a way to seek each other out. Perhaps they had been developed in the wake of a disaster of some kind?
“Deep Calls” allowed some form of divination magic as well, letting someone find the direction of a goal they were after no matter where or how far from it they were. Which sounded like it would be incredibly useful if one was lost or trying to find something important in a short span of time. Though there was a note about needing to know what it was you trying to find in the first place…
(He was tempted to try it himself, but there was a chance that doing so would alert Stanley to what he was doing right then. And he… Didn’t want his brother to yell at him again to meddle too much before he knew what he was dealing with yet.)
But… He could try one of the other spells listed. He had already learned some magic, so he knew a bit about how to make it work. Many of the spells seemed more cosmetic, or to help emphasize an emotion or state of mind. (Better communication of one's thoughts and feelings.)
One of the gestures perhaps? Something small and simple that wouldn’t cause any trouble. Perhaps the butterfly charming one?
He flipped back to the page showing and reread the small description for performing it. Then he set the open book on the table, rose to his feet and, with a small calming breath, slid into the stance. Pulling at the feeling he’d come to know from all his previous attempts at magic.
There was a moment when all he felt was the faint beating of his heart, and then there was a small flicker of light. And a single, golden-hued butterfly fluttered into existence and landed delicately on his outstretched hand.
Ford let out a small, wonder-filled breath at the little creature.
It was warm to the touch and cast a soft golden glow over his hand. And there was something almost… Childishly magical about having something like a butterfly land on one’s hand.
He couldn’t help the soft smile at the tiny animal as he slowly, carefully, brought it closer to himself.
This was a magic he’d never seen before. He would definitely try to learn more.
(Even though there was a whisper in his chest that said it wasn’t as alien to him as any other kind of magic he’d tried before.)
AN: Yay~ I’m finally freaking DONE with this one. I had another version that was more… Eh, more of Ford wallowing in guilt but I didn’t like it as much. Sure, making him come to terms with things is important, but I realize he’s not really the type to sit and wallow unless there was an active tragedy that preceded it.
Instead, the name of his emotional game is Avoidance. And also Snooping.
I wanted to touch more on Sky Magic for this, both how Stan was using it and how Ford would discover that his sibling could use it. I also wanted to hint at some smaller story/universe details. Little things that would almost sound like throw-away comments. Love to hear if you think you spotted them! ;-)
#gravity falls#gravity falls au#stanford pines#ford pines#crossover#gf x sky au#gf x sky#sky cotl#sky children of the light#season of mystery#rosie writes#rosies writing
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Doing a past paper the night before the exam was not the move 💀
#it was horrendous#I didn’t do as well as some other past papers#I think mainly because the wording of the question threw me off ALOT#I’m trying to block it out#because other past papers I’ve done fine in and I can do maths 😭#- <- maybe? ;)#my brother tried to give me some advice#and said maths is like truth or dare you just got to pick one#……#my guy there was a 10 marker on differentiation I don’t think you just pick one 😭😭#gatherrambles
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[3:47 pm] ft miya osamu
wc: 700
--
When you slam open Atsumu’s bedroom door and plop yourself onto the carpet next to him, he barely looks up from his phone.
“Ever heard of knocking?”
You lay belly down on the floor and scream into the worn fuzz of the carpet.
“Gross. You know our bare, unwashed feet walk on this floor right?”
He offers you a pillow and you take it, squishing it between the floor and your face. Atsumu waits for your breath to run out.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Atsumuuuuu…” you bemoan. “I’m going through a crisis.”
He says nothing, continuing to scroll on his phone but you can tell you’ve garnered some of his interest.
“I have a secret. Like one that I can’t tell anyone.”
“Uh-huh.”
“It’s so shameful. I’ve been keeping it to myself for, like, ever.”
“Yeah, I bet I couldn’t guess what it is.” The sarcasm is completely lost on you.
“Yeah. You’d make fun of me. It’d be material for you to tease me for a lifetime,” you pause, take a deep breath. “I-
“-have a big fat crush on my brother?”
You gape. “What?”
He looks up from his phone. He blink at you, like you’re any simpleton. “You,” he says slowly, punctuating each word, ”have a big, fat, embarrassing, crutching, debilitating crush on my brother.”
“I didn’t even realize you knew so many big words-”
“What?”
The two of you freeze up.
“‘Samu!” Atsumu exclaims. “Thought you weren’t gonna be back until later tonight.”
“I wasn’t.”
He gives no other explanation. You stay still, hoping that if you don’t move or breathe, he won’t notice you. The silence stretches.
“Ohhh.. kay. Well, I better go. You kids-”
You jolt awake at that, in disbelief that Atsumu would flee alone after what he’s done.
“I’ll go with!” You turn and run, making monumental efforts to avoid a dark eyes trained on you.
You’re about to squeeze past when a hand slams against the doorframe, arm now blocking off your exit. Osamu stares hard at you while your gaze stays glued to the exit beyond, though it’s more like you’re staring at his bicep which is now stationed at your eye level.
“I’m just gonna go…” you hear Atsumu mumble, ducking under Osamu’s arm barrier, stealing your escape route.
“Jackass-” you mumble.
“Hey.”
The low voice comes from right above your head.
“Osamu,” you greet, still staring at his arm. “I gotta go. I have plans-”
A finger comes up to lift your jaw. It’s careful, but still forceful. When your eyes finally meet his, the one finger turns into two which grip your chin in place.
“Was what Atsumu said true?”
It takes a lot for you to hold back a stutter. “Sounds like you heard him loud and clear to me,” you say, ready to slap his hand away.
“I did.”
“Then why are you still asking-”
“If it’s true,” he leans down, talking slowly. It makes you start to hyperventilate. You need a paper bag or something. “I don’t wanna hear it from my stupid brother.”
His eyes are mesmerizing, captivating. Not even the many, many years of knowing him dulls the effect of his straightforward gaze on you. You think you hear someone concede, “it’s true.”
“What’s true?” he whispers. He’s so close you feel his words ghost your mouth.
Autopilot talks. “That I have a big fat crush on you.”
He eats up the next millimeter of space.
“Yeah?” he murmurs against your lips.
Suddenly, his neck is caged inside of your arms and you’re licking up his familiar minty breath and surely this all isn’t your doing because your brain is still catching up.
His smile widens against your lips and you can feel the smugness radiate off him.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have interrupted, then.”
That clears the fog. You shove his shoulders away and try to ignore the fact that he doesn’t go very far.
“Why?” you demand.
He kisses you again. “‘Cause my brother’s got a big mouth.”
You tilt your head in confusion. Osamu takes it as an invitation to slot his face better against yours.
His kiss almost makes you forget your train of thought, but that’s okay because he answers your question anyway.
“And he probably would’ve blabbed that I have a big fat crush on you too.”
#noos writes#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu fluff#hq x reader#hq imagines#hq x y/n#hq fluff#miya osamu#miya osamu x reader#miya osamu x y/n#miya osamu x you#miya osamu fluff#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x reader#osamu x you#osamu x reader#osamu x y/n
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A BUSINESS PROPOSAL — the pro-hero, dynamite, is forced on a date with some ceo's daughter. except, it's just you and your best friend doing your absolute best to scare him away.
word count: 2.4k
cw: suggestive, fluff, not proofread
a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for quite literally a year. i decided to rewatch the drama and omggggg i still love it. i might make a part two bc this was kinda fun to write.
requests
pro-hero, katsuki bakugou, was rapidly climbing the hero ranks the moment he graduated high school. by the time he was 23, he was already one of japan’s top heroes. he had been working his ass off, spending countless hours training and fighting for the dream he had worked for since he was a child, and all of his hard work had finally come to fruition.
unfortunately, there was one thing he didn’t have.
“you need to get a girlfriend, katsuki.”
the blond found himself now trapped in another dreadful conversation with his mother. for the past year, his mother had been pestering him about finding a partner and it made him want to tear his hair out. he groaned as he did his best to tune her out.
“i’m being serious, katsuki,” she pestered, pouring herself a cup of coffee. “we’re both getting older and I want grandbabies.”
“you’re not getting any fucking grandbabies if you keep fucking bothering me about it,” the man huffed. “i don’t know why you care so much about me fucking some chick. it’s creepy.”
mitsuki scoffed. “well, sorry I don’t want to you die alone and unhappy.”
those words still ricocheted in his head as he shuffled through paperwork a few weeks later. die alone, he thought. like hell, I need some woman and kid slowing me down.
there was a soft knock on the door of his office followed by the calm voice of his assistant. “mr. bakugou?”
“open,” he responded, not looking up from the papers.
his assistant walked in, closing the door behind him. “todoroki’s agency wanted to ask how the paperwork is coming along.”
“tell him to leave me alone.”
the still unnamed assistant checked his watch, huffing. “sir—” he leaned forward, the tablet in his hand now curled up near his chest— “have you called your mother at all today?”
katsuki raised his eyes, immediately suspicious. “why?”
“yes or no, sir?”
he sighed. “no, I have not.”
“that explains it,” the assistant muttered, leaning back. “she wanted me to tell you that she-”
“KATSUKI!” like clockwork, mitsuki stormed through the double doors of katsuki’s office. the man swore under his breath. the assistant stood aside as the older woman made her way to her son’s desk. “I have incredible news for you!~”
he place the papers on the desk and pinched the bridge of his nose, anticipating the worst. “oh boy, I wonder what it could be,” he spoke, sarcasm lacing his jaded voice.
“curb your enthusiasm, buddy.” mitsuki stood tall. “the ceo of XXXXX has agreed to a blind date with his daughter!” she did jazz hands to emphasize it.
katsuki froze. “sorry?”
“you’re going on a blind date with the ceo’s daughter.” she did the jazz hands again.
“are you fucking kidding me?!” katsuki began to raise his voice, evidently pissed off. “you went and set up some blind date with a random woman because you want some fucking grandkids!?”
“I fail to see the issue katsuki.”
“well, there’s fucking plenty!”
“listen, and listen well; you’re going to find a woman to settle down with whether you like it or not, katsuki. plus, wouldn’t marrying into a ceo’s family be good for business?”
“this is fucking ridiculous.” the man stood up and was ready to leave. “it’s not happening. i’m busy all this month.”
“not anymore!~” mitsuki had the biggest shit-eating grin the man had ever seen.
katsuki looked over at his assistant, eyebrow cocked. “that’s what I was trying to tell you, sir, before she…” he shifted his gaze to the older woman “…before she walked in.”
“i also had him clear your schedule.” she chimed in.
katsuki huffed, wanting the world to swallow him whole.
~
“another one? did he forget every other date you’ve gone on?”
your friend had invited you to a nice debrief at the cafe you two had been eyeing for a while. being from a wealthy business family, it was common place for her parents to try and marry her off, but your friend would rather eat lead than have anything to do with this.
your friend huffed, crossing her arms as she looked out at the nearby street. “that’s what I’m saying.”
“and you literally have no idea who this dude could be?”
“well, it is a blind date after all.” she looked back at you, hands now on the table. “but he knows I don’t wanna be set up with some dude just because he’s rich. I only plan to marry for love.” she waved her hands in a rainbow motion on the word “love” to really get the point home.
you took a sip from your drink. “your dad, yeah. doesn’t he know we’re just gonna scare him away again?”
she raised her coffee cup to her lip, chuckling a bit. memories of your two’s shenanigans flooding her mind. “should we do that again?”
“is that even a question,” you grinned.
~
you and your friend had planned for you to go on the date instead. you’d be dressed neatly in expensive clothing borrowed from your friend. she gave you a cute makeup look to make you look expensive and a pretty wig with scarily realistic hair.
the plan was simple:
be as unappealing as possible.
you sat down and waited for your friend’s date to show up. as you waited, you did your best to calm your nerves and fix your makeup a bit. after a few minutes of waiting, a deep voice spoke from behind you.
“you XXXX XXXXXXXXX?”
startled, the compact mirror in your hand shook. you turned around and began to shake even more. the man your friend had been set up with, the man you are about to scare off, the man standing in front of you right now was absolutely, unbelievably attractive. what was his name again?
katsuki bakugou.
katsuki saw your eyes widen for a moment and was about to leave, a bit worried that you were the wrong person.
“yes,” you answered, voice a bit meeker than you had hoped. not only was he undeniably attractive, but he looked oddly familiar. was he some kind of model or actor? “take a seat.” you gestured to the seat across from you.
the blond sat down, visibly uninterested. you, on the other hand, were doing your absolute best to calm your nerves, hands trembling a bit as you raised your water glass to your lips. you took a deep breath. you were determined to make this date fail.
thus began tactic number one.
you let out a deep sigh, drawing katsuki’s attention. “it’s warm in here, isn’t it,” you asked smugly, carefully peeling your jacket off. the dress you were wearing underneath was sleeveless and showed off your shoulders and collarbone. it was far from warm in the restaurant you two sat in, but you were without a doubt going to pretend you were burning up.
no one likes a woman that shows too much skin.
katsuki didn’t even bother with a verbal response. instead, he just cocked an eyebrow. he examined you as you practically flaunted your arms and noticed goosebumps painting the exposed skin. “you have goosebumps.”
crap.
you chuckled, fixing your hair. “i just get goosebumps a lot.”
time for the next strategy.
you kicked your foot against the table. you fake winced, saying a sweet “sorry” as you pulled your leg back. your voice then switched to a high-pitched baby voice as you cooed at your expensive heels, gently brushing them. “it’s okay, baby, it’s okay.” you then turned your attention to the equally expensive clutch near you. “oh, did you get scared, baby?” you continued cooing and kissing your clutch.
a woman crazy about luxury goods. how’s that for a turn-off?
you looked away from the clutch and watched as katsuki typed away on his phone.
was your performance not worth watching?
“what are you doing?”
katsuki’s head darted up before he sheepishly tucked his phone away. “a text from work. sorry.”
this won’t do. on to my last resort.
“I’m so sad,” you blurted out.
“what?”
you crossed your arms, huffing. “I’m so sad. you seem so uninterested in me.” you pouted. “it’s making samantha and rachel very sad.”
the blond’s brows furrowed as he took a sip out of his cup. “samantha and rachel?”
you smirked, holding the sides of the table so your chest was open. “the left one is samantha. right is rachel. i spent a wopping half a million a piece on these babies.”
he nearly choked on his water, coughing as he placed it back on the table. you did your absolute best to not break character. you giggled, leaning back in your seat. “i’m rambling, aren’t i?”
one could say this was your best performance. there was no way in hell that he was going to ask for a second date.
—
“HE ASKED FOR A SECOND DATE?!”
you sat with your head in your hands across from your friend. “I did my best, I swear.”
“if you did your best then why am I going on a second date with him,” she asked, practically crushing her cup.
“he was very persistent, in my defense.”
your friend sighed lowly. “jeez, I guess I’ll have to go and scare him away myself.”
“how,” you asked, lazily looking back up her. “he thinks you look like me.”
“well, i don’t want to see him anymore regardless, so him finding out you’re not the real me should only drive him further, yeah?” your friend feigned calmness as she said that, but you could tell that she was thoroughly irritated. you watched as coffee leaked from under her lid and onto her fingers. she was no indeed crushing the cup.
sheepishly you offered, “I’ll buy you a new drink.”
—
“you want to…meet her again?”
katsuki decided to visit izuku on his lunch break. they were in a nearby cafe, casually debriefing about how their days had been going. izuku, like most of katsuki’s friends, had long known of his mother’s desire for her son to get married and have kids. katsuki had told izuku about the date his mom had set him up on, complaining about how that “old hag”, in his words, had no respect for his boundaries and was weirdly obsessed with him getting hitched off. so izuku was very surprised to hear that the dreaded date went well.
“yeah,” he admitted, digging his fork into his pasta. “I mean, she didn’t seem half bad.” he looked back up at izuku, who held a stunned expression. “quit looking at me like that.”
“sorry, I just didn’t expect for it to have gone so well. she must be a real catch.”
katsuki thought back to what you considered a disaster of a date. it had been so long since he’d met such a straightforward woman. you came across as so honest, so genuine. he…liked that about you. and sure, you were pretty and wealthy, but things like that meant nothing to him. he’d be a liar if he said he couldn’t stop thinking about you on the drive back to his apartment. “i guess so.”
suddenly, there was a loud crash outside followed by a scream. the two men perked up, both now looking out the window. a villain attack?
at the sound of another crash, they dove out of the cafe and onto the street to be met with what they expected. what katsuki didn’t expect was to see was a woman that looked suspiciously familiar.
you had somehow ended up in the middle of the crossfire of this low-ranking villain’s attack. if a hero hadn’t saved you just in time, you would’ve gotten seriously hurt. unfortunately, the moment you got a good look at the hero that saved you, you realized why the man your friend was set up with looked so familiar.
you had gone on a date with the top hero, dynamite.
the two of you stared at each other, face inches apart. katsuki examined your face. he could barely believe it. here you were, standing right in front of him, and he had just saved your life. now would be a bad time to ask you on a second date, right?
“you’re the…”
quickly, you backed away and bowed. “t-thank you so much!” you tried to run away, face burning with anxiety, but his large hand instinctually grabbed your wrist.
“wait a second, how the hell did you get yourself caught up in a villain attack?”
“it was an accident, really,” you said as you attempted to wiggle yourself out of his grip.
“y/n, are you okay,” you friend asked, running up to you. she had gotten separated from you when the attack started. however, she halted the moment she saw katsuki right next to you. “oh no..”
katsuki’s brows furrowed. “y/n?” that’s not your name, he thought. his grip loosened just enough for you to release yourself.
your heart was racing. katsuki, decked out in his signature costume, looked at you with the most perplexed expression you had ever seen. you jogged up to your friend, trying to push her away. “XXXX, we should go,” you muttered.
“hey,” katsuki called out. “you just got attacked by a villain.”
“we’re just fine,” you friend responded.
“i was telling her, not you.” he didn’t want to believe it, but the name your friend called you rang through his head like bullets. it couldn’t have been a nickname. it sounded nothing like the name he knew you as. could it really be…
“let me walk you to the police station, y/n. i have a lot to ask you.”
#mha#bnha#my hero academia#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#bakugo katuski#katsuki bakugou#katsuki bakugo#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#mha x reader#mha fluff#boku no hero academia#bakugo x reader
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Christmas mixup - op81
in which: Oscar accidentally proposes to his girlfriend on Christmas Day.
pairing: Oscar Piastri x fem!reader
genre: fluff
warnings: pet names (babe), not proof read, nothing else
an: If you saw this posted earlier NO YOU DIDNT😭
۶ৎ ۶ৎ ۶ৎ ۶ৎ ۶ৎ ۶ৎ ۶ৎ
Oscar reached an outstretched arm to the top of your shared closet, being sure to select the small box that sat on the left and not the right.
You’d been dating for six years now—since you were both just seventeen years old—and you’ve been living together for about a year.
He found the most gorgeous diamond earrings while racing in Vegas last month. He thought about how much you’d love them and couldn’t resist buying them for you.
While Oscar wasn’t the best gift wrapper, he always tried his best for you. The gifts you wrapped for him always came out in pristine condition, the colorful paper hugging the boxes perfectly. He felt awful when he would carry out piles of boxes and the wrapping paper was crumpled and loose around the sides. Your wrapping job made everything look so perfect and he felt like he was ruining it. It’s just paper, you had told him, laughing it off. You could wrap it in discarded candy wrappers and it would make no difference to me.
This specific gift, he rewrapped it five times before he thought that it looked even remotely good enough. And even after that, he wrapped it three more times until he got it to be perfect.
He smiled at the small box, and took it to the tree with great care. You watched from the kitchen, chuckling as he carried the box like a newborn child.
۶ৎ ۶ৎ ۶ৎ
Christmas morning, you and Oscar sat around the tree, a cup of hot cocoa and a croissant beside the both of you.
You’d both opened almost all of your gifts already, but Oscar withheld one gift until the very end. That tiny box.
“Can I open it now?” You asked him, same as you had after every single other gift. He finally handed it over to you. “Be careful, though.” He warned, a warm smile on his face as he watched your excitement.
You ripped the paper off, and cautiously opened the box. What you saw had your eyes watering, your jaw dropped slightly. You placed the box on the floor, and your hands came up to over your mouth.
Oscar figured you would like the gift, but definitely not this much.
“Oscar,” your voice wobbled with the threat of tears that may spill. You gasped as you tried not to cry.
Oscar’s eye caught the glimmer that bounced off the shiny object, and he quickly realized he didn’t wrap the earrings. No, instead, his eyes met a shiny diamond incrusted band. Your engagement ring.
He didn’t intend to propose this early, no. He wanted to do something extravagant to propose. Not this. Not on Christmas, in your pajamas and at home. He was horrified.
“Yes, oh my god, yes.” You answered without waiting for him to actually ask the question. To you, this was entirely intentional and planned by him. You flung yourself at him, your arms coming around his neck to hug him tightly.
Oscar was significantly less horrified. Your reaction had eased him some, but he still was overcome with an immense feeling of guilt. He thought you deserved a better proposal then this.
But he would play it off. “Thank god you said yes.” He laughed.
۶ৎ ۶ৎ ۶ৎ
A week later, you were both sat on the couch, watching television. He couldn’t help but notice how often you would look down to gaze at the engagement ring on your finger.
“Babe?” He called softly. “Hm?” You hummed, your eyes peering past your lashes to meet his gaze. He could see just how happy you were. It was in the twinkle of your eyes, the curve of your lips, etched in every facial feature.
But the guilt still ate away at him. “I’m sorry it happened like that.” He struggled to meet your eyes, looking down at the band on your ring finger instead. You sat up a little straighter, concerned. “What do you mean?”
He sighed. “Well, I meant to wrap a box of earrings, but I put the two boxes next to each other and I guess I picked up the wrong one. I’m sorry. I wanted to do something big to propose to you. Not that.”
You laughed and grabbed his face. You leaned up to capture his lips with yours, kissing him softly. “There’s no way you could have proposed to me that wouldn’t be perfect. Even if it was at a farm, with a ring made of straw.” He looked in your eyes, seeing the deep love within them, and knew you were telling the truth. And he wondered, how did he get so lucky?
#f1#f1 x reader#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#op81#f1 x you#f1 blurb#f1 fluff#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri one shot#oscar piastri#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri x reader
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I'm your only situationship.
A/N : yall i stayed up til 324 am writing this. I felt like if i went to bed still only having it as a thought and not on 'paper' thats unacceptable. If i gotta think about this then so do yall! it was also supposed to be a small one shot but it got wildly out of hand im not sorry.
18+ MDNI
TW: typical smut, EXPLICIT mmkay im talkin clutch ur pearls explicit.
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
Simon had finally come home from a grueling 6-month mission. All he wanted was some Kentucky bourbon with you at your favorite seedy bar.
Once he was home, Simon cleaned up, put on a black clinical mask, and sent a text to you to meet him there. As he finished his first glass of the night, a rather attractive young woman approached him, asking if she could buy him a drink.
“Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around, lovie?”
“Not at all. This is after all the 21st century. I’m simply asking— wouldn’t want any missus at home getting upset.”
“There’s no one at home for me, lass.”
“Well then, how about you get yourself another glass, my treat, and we’ll see where this night takes us?”
He slightly nodded —he’d never say no to a free drink— and as she left to order a drink, he took his phone out to text you again.
“C’mon, pet. I’ll cover the tab. Too good f’me, now?”
His phone vibrated a minute later.
“I can’t today, Si.”
“Why not? I know you don’t go out on Sundays.”
As the young woman came back, drinks in hand, he lifted the screen to read your response.
“I’ve got a dick appointment~ It’s been a year and then some and I’m gonna claw at my walls if I don’t get a fix ASAP.”
Simon goes tense— soft blues hardening to a silver and he’s gripping his phone so hard it might crack. He pulls up your contact and calls you within seconds.
“Hiya, Si!”
“What the fuck is a dick appointment?”
“Oh,” you giggle. “I forget you older folk don’t know ‘bout that. It’s just a one-night fling. No commitments or nothin'.’ Exactly what I need right now.” You don’t tell him that the reason you’ve practically regrown your hymen is that when you’re best friends with Simon, every other male in existence pales in comparison.
“Anyway Si-, he’s getting here in like an hour-”
“No.” And hangs up.
The young woman who’s casually rubbing his bicep and shoulder gets practically flung off of him, as he gets up off the bar stool so fast it’s falling back with a loud clang, and he’s yanking his leather jacket on and pulling on his leather gloves so hard they’re about to become fingerless—
“Hey! I thought you didn’t have a girlfriend?!”
One gloved hand gripping the front door, he turns his head slightly to her and says, “Pet, with how good I’m gonna fuck her, she won’t even have to ask to know she’s mine.”
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
You’re standing in the bathroom with your liquid eyeliner in one hand and phone in the other, staring at the ended call screen. ‘Weird,’ you think, then shrug and put the phone down. ‘Maybe the call got dropped.’
You finally complete the look with your false lashes when there’s a very hard knock on your door. You frown as you look at your phone screen. ‘7:14 pm’. You know the guy said at 8 and you’re in one of Simon’s big shirts he always forgets and your hair is still tied up in an oversized pink and white polka dot scrunchie— The pink leopard print booty shorts you’ve got on will suffice.
The second time there’s a knock it’s even louder.
“Jesus Christ, I’m coming!”
You open the door and say, “I’m sorry I took so long, I—”
Simon flies past you, with a rough shoulder bump and you turn to look at him and he’s almost sprinting to the bedroom, slamming the door open—
“Simon, what the fuck? What’re you doin—”
“Where is he?”, he snarls.
“Who?! Are you talking about my date? He’s not getting here til 8! And why’re you slamming doors in my apartment like you pay my rent?!”
You see Simon deflate immediately at the important part of your answer and chooses to ignore the rest as he takes off his jacket and walks to your hall closet to hang it. Closing your door and locking it, you growl out,
“You need to leave. I haven’t even finished getting ready. I promise I’ll—”
“No, pet.”
“Will you quit interrupting me! Simon, I swear—”
“Pet.”
You’re holding a scream behind your teeth, about to rip the hair out of your scalp when you see Simon take one loop of his mask off from around his ear and then the other. You gape. You’ve seen Simon without his mask— that isn’t the reason you can no longer find your voice. It’s the way he put his gloved middle finger in between his teeth and pulled it off so sensually. You can feel your cheeks and ears radiate heat from just seeing the tip of his pink tongue. Christ, you’re down horrendously.
You open your mouth to say something, anything, to distract yourself from the fact that you’re getting wet over an interaction so chaste when Simon is touching your ass, giving it a hard squeeze, before moving down to the back of your thighs and lifting you up. You startle at the movement and throw your arms around his neck out of habit, hoping he won’t drop you in the move to your bedroom.
He presses you against the wall with his hips, then grabs both of your ankles from behind his lower back and hooks the back of your knees over his forearms. Simon noses your jaw and starts grinding his clothed erection deliciously hard over the definitely wet spot on your shorts and growls out,
“If you think,” grind “that I’m gonna allow My,” grind “Girl,” grind—and you whimper in his ear, “get fucked by some little cock two pump chump,” he gives a forced chuckle, “you must be daft, pet. Or maybe you’re doing it on purpose, eh? Trying to get my attention? Well, you’ve got it now. “
He moves his face to hover his lips over yours— you can lightly smell the bourbon he drank earlier— and he whispers, “You ever like this and I’m around, you come to me. And if I’m away, you wait for me like a good girl and when I come back I’ll give this,” he taps your pussy over your shorts, “greedy little cunt all the cock it can take.”
With a shaky breath, you nod before he kisses you, his bourbon-flavored tongue curling against yours, and you’re moaning into it because you’ve wanted this for too long and he’s finally touching you. Curling your fingers into his ash-brown hair, you move your mouth to his neck, to the right of his adam’s apple, took a bit of skin between your teeth and sucked.
Simon hisses, dips his fingertips into your flesh hard enough to bruise, and all but yanks you off the wall to toss you onto your bed.
You yelp as you bounce from the force of his throw— you’re still bouncing on the bed when Simon grabs the waistband of your shorts and knickers to pull right off, which you’re grateful for because the grey knickers you got on aren’t what anyone would wear for a first, second nor third impression.
Simon grabs both of the back of your knees with one hand, goddamn bear paws, you think, before you feel his tongue in between your lips— so warm and wet and fuck, you needed this, needed him— and he flicks his tongue up and down on your clit. He sticks his long middle finger into you and it goes in without resistance, you’re slippery, drooling over his wrist and finger that’s curled up into the rough patch of nerves against your gummy walls, that he’s pressing into, over and over. God you’re about to come, your legs shake in his one-handed hold and you’ve got a white knuckle grip on the forearm you’re sinking your nails into—
Simon pulls away. You were so close, your eyes start watering because he can’t possibly be this mean to you but then you see him shove his tongue in between his middle and ring finger, eating up your nectar when he says, “The first time I’m gonna make you come, it’ll be on my cock. I want to see the frothy white cream you're gonna leave at the base.”
You’re nodding hysterically at this point, anything for him to make you come, anything for him. With a twirl of his index, he’s telling you to get on all fours. Scrambling, you turn over and arch your back— resting your head on your forearms— and you feel his calloused palms run down from your spine to your ass cheeks before he gives it a spank.
“You have a condom?”
You shake your head and you mewl out, “No, but I’m clean.”
“Good. I don’t want anything between us.”
You arch your back further, pressing your ass further into his hips when you hear his belt buckle clank and zipper open. Simon brings his palm to your other cheek, reddening it.
“Fuckin’ hell, pet. Look at you spread out for me.”
You feel warm velvet over steel over your slit before he slowly pushes inside, not all the way but about a little over half of his length, remembering that your g-spot is a little closer to the front. Fast, relatively shallow thrusts hitting your spot with almost clinical precision have you reeling, your orgasm about to break you, mind and body. Hands tightening painfully, you shatter— loud, high-pitched whines, ringing in your ears and pussy pulsing around Simon’s thick girth— and god, Simon doesn’t stop thrusting. He keeps the same smooth rhythm and you’d think he’s unaffected by the tight vice your pussy has him in— but you hear him, low, deep groans and a tighter grip on your hips telling you otherwise.
He pulls out to bend over your back, completely covering it, and he murmurs in your ear, “I hope you didn’t think we were done. My girl wanted a fuckin’, now she’s gonna get it.”
He takes off your pink, silly scrunchy and you see it around his tattooed wrist before he grabs your hair into a makeshift ponytail and is leaning back up and forcing your back to arch under his pull. You feel his leg at the height of your hips— propped up, foot flat on the bed and knee bent and the other straight on the floor and all you can think of is how this man is gonna kill you with his cock.
Simon snaps his hips forward, fist full of hair pulling back, stretching and filling in one strong thrust, bottoming out. He gives you no reprieve, no time to get used to how fucking deep he is, and sets an intense, firm pace that has you feeling a pinch below the navel every time his hip bones slap against your ass, balls to the clit and you love it. Every pinch in your lower belly has your pussy making a squelching sound and you can’t help yourself— you reach underneath your body to feel how split open you are with two fingers, encasing his cock and feeling the skin drag with them as he pulls out.
That has him hissing air between his teeth, he’s about to come but doesn't want it to be over so he pulls out, and opens your cheeks to spit in your furled hole, before pressing in with the pad of his thumb, and you’re almost screaming. He moves back a bit further to spit in your pussy, not that you need it— you’re drenching the sheets underneath you— and now he’s spearing you with his tongue before curling it, getting your juices pooled on it before coming back up, lips smacking, and he grabs your hair in his ponytail and now he uses his other hand to curls his fingers and palm over the front of your throat and that's all it takes for your vision to darken and arms go limp but he’s again, fucking you through your orgasm and this time you leave a creamy white ring at the base of his length.
“Oh, fuckin hell.” He groans out and it sounds desperate and you know he’s close.
“Come in me, Simon. Please fill me up, I promise I’ll keep it all in.”
He gives a strained chuckle and says, “Pet, I can barely pull out of a driveway much less this tight little cunt.” He squeezes your throat hard, strands of hair popping out of your scalp and his cock feels massive, the pinch in your stomach feels like a cramp from how deep he is and he lets out a low drawn out moan that lasts 3 thrusts— and then there’s warmth filling you up, so much so it leaks from the sides of where you two are connected. Simon lets go of your hair and you fall face-first onto the bed, exhausted. Defeated. Back properly broken. You officially know what it’s like to get fucked within an inch of your life and you love it.
He pulls out slowly, with a hiss from both of you and with one hand on your left cheek, he spreads you to look at your stuffed hole.
“Fuck. I love seeing me drip out of you.”
You’re about to tell him to sod off when the doorbell rings and the both of you stiffen and lock eyes. With a mean snarl, Simon grabs a towel from your bathroom and his mask before stomping his way to answer the door, pink obnoxious scrunchy still on his wrist.
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
#call of duty#cod#cod mw2#cod smut#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon riley smut#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley smut#simon ghost x you#ghost cod#cod mwii#ghost mw2#ghost simon riley#call of duty smut
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// brutally soft // I.
baby daddy!sukuna x reader
tags: non curse au; fluff; tension; reader and sukuna are co-parents; girl dad sukuna; mentions troubled past with sukuna; alludes to significant size different | wc: 1,653 | read this for more context
note: I hope I got the honorifics right lol please correct me if I didn't
dni if your blog is blank / ageless / or are a minor
You didn’t think it was possible for a five year old to render you speechless, nor did you think she was capable of making your former lover blush the deepest shade of tomato red. You part your lips in surprise, stunned as you look down at her innocent expression. She’s sitting on your living room floor, her face perched on her palms with her elbows resting against the coffee table. Her wide eyes drift between you and Sukuna sitting on the sofa, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth as she tilts her head slightly out of intrigue.
“Mama?” She presses, begging for an answer.
Your mouth moves but no words come out. You’re trying to formulate a proper response that’s palatable for her, one that will be enough to subdue any further questions.
Except you’re not quite sure how to answer: “why don’t you and daddy ever kiss?” without making her pry even more into your history with her father.
Sukuna runs his large palms back and forth nervously over his thigh, the muscles on his inked forearms tensing up.
“We kiss,” you fib, because what else are you supposed to say, “of course we do!”
Your daughter’s face falters, and she quirks her brow as sassily as her father when they both mirror the same expression to look at you.
You glance back at Sukuna, giving him an awkward smile because at least you said something all the while he just sat there.
“No, you don’t…” your daughter insists.
“Yeah, yeah that’s right…we do…of course, we do…” Sukuna pipes in with a mumble, finally catching on to your attempts as he reverts his attention on to his precious girl.
“I’ve never seen it,” she points out with a pout, scolding her father playfully in return.
“That’s because we don’t do it in front of you,” Sukuna remarks. “Besides, who wants to see their parents kiss?”
His daughter rolls her eyes, “all other mommies and daddies do it, except you guys. It makes no sense…”
She’s got the tiniest voice and the softest lisp, but her attitude is entirely her father. She’s bold and blunt, never afraid to say exactly what she’s thinking or to point the obvious.
“Oji-san kisses oba-san in front of Shiro…” she mumbles, dropping both her hands onto the coffee table and crumpling the paper that she is using to draw her little family portrait.
At the mention of his younger brother Sukuna can’t help but grimace. Yuji was incredibly affectionate towards his wife, wearing his heart on his sleeve entirely which just makes Sukuna grumble with annoyance. He’s always been a little envious of his younger brother, who never had to face the world as harshly as Sukuna. With an eleven year gap between them, Sukuna witnessed his parents becoming actual parents. They were young when they had him, and therefore had no clue what it took to raise or take care of a child. Sukuna was caught in the middle of their relationship for most of his childhood, all the while Yuji got to see the peaceful harmony once they finally made up.
“I’m just saying…” your daughter adds on, “…it’s weird.”
You breathe out a sigh in defeat, knowing full well that she won’t let go of the subject until she gets some consolation.
So incredibly stubborn just like her dad.
Without considering the repercussions, you reach your hand out and clutch Sukuna’s chin delicately between your fingers. You tilt his head towards you, noticing the slow register of your touch wash over his face as you lean up to kiss his cheek.
However, you misjudged your aim, because Sukuna tilted his head down in return, and you wound up leaving a gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth instead.
Your lips lingered for only a few seconds, three to be exact, before you retracted and turned towards your daughter.
“See?” You insist, holding onto Sukuna’s chin like it’s evidence between your fingers. “We kiss!”
Your daughter’s mouth forms into a line, clearly unimpressed. The older she’s getting the more she’s picking up on the little things that you guys were hiding so well.
But it’s still way too complicated, and you and Sukuna haven't even discussed how to approach this yet.
“I guess,” she says with a shrug of her shoulders, before returning to her drawing.
You didn’t even know that Sukuna has his focus still locked onto your lips tuntil you turn to look back at him.His gaze is soft, the muscles of his handsome features melting between your touch. There’s a hint of sorrow that twinkles in his eyes, and when you tuck your bottom lip between your teeth apologetically, you notice that you left a lipstick stain in your wake.
“Sorry,” you mouth, and carefully use your thumb to swipe over the mark.
But your heart seizes quickly, your spine growing still when Sukuna mildly inches forward like he’s about to go in for another kiss.
You remember what it was like to kiss him. He was an exceptionally good kisser, even though he probably doesn’t know it himself. You’ve spent hours losing time locked against those lips, allowing his tongue to taste every last drop of you.
There’s a twitch in your chest, everything around you going quiet. Heat pricks the back of your neck when his lips draw just a breath away from yours, and you swear to yourself that he grazed over your mouth with a featherlight touch.
But Sukuna stops suddenly, catching himself.
“Be right back,” he whispers, his voice dipping so low you can’t help but clench your thighs together.
He shoots up from his seat, detangling quickly as he brushes you off, and leaving you to stare aimlessly at his broad back and overbearing muscles. Your sofa suddenly appears a lot larger with all that free space.
You press both hands to your cheeks, licking your lips as the apprehension runs through you as a cold chill. You can’t even remember when was the last time you kissed the father of your child, but you didn’t think that such a small act would have such a lingering effect.
You thought you were over this. Over him. That chapter was closed a long, long time ago.
You look up at the cause of this unexpected interaction, your daughter’s short attention span keeping her focused on her doodle while she hums to herself.
Sukuna returns with his head held high a few minutes after, and plops down on the sofa with his weight prompting you to bounce lightly in place.
That’s when you felt it, a hint of cold hitting your brow like a tiny droplet of rain.
Your furrow your brows then notice that your Sukuna’s hair is actually damp, with little tears trickling down the back of his neck.
The tips of his ears are still burning red.
You part your lips in awe.
Sukuna is a master at making you blush. At making any woman blush, frankly. But you don’t think you’ve ever actually seen that reaction on him.
It stuns you how much it suits him, and surprises you even more of just how cute he looks trying to hide it.
“Daddy, can you help me?” Your daughter asks, finally focusing back on the two of you while her finger draws out an outline of what appears to be two arms.
“Whatever you want, Princess…” Sukuna responds, and obediently gets up from his seat.
He perches himself on the floor, the size difference between him and your little girl doing nothing to help the sudden hammering in your chest.
He’s so, so gentle with her.
She crawls onto his lap, holding the sheet of paper in her hand, before setting herself back up while sitting on his thighs.She points to the drawing with her index finger, “I don’t know how to draw your tattoos…”
Sukuna chuckles, a glimpse of his smile making you to scratch the warmth off the back of your neck.
He picks up a black pencil, “you’re a better artist than me, kid,” he states honestly, “not quite sure what I can do to help…”
She wraps her arms around his neck, leaving her dad to carry on the effort.
“I’ll explain the shapes and you draw it!” She says with a kiss to his cheek.
It’ll never cease to amaze you how easily he bends to her will. Sukuna had no interest in any of this, and was obstinate in every sense of the word. Nothing could turn that man into a docile cat except when it comes to your little girl. He’s present with her, this part of him just so different, and even after five years it still feels a tad unfamiliar.
There’s a slight tightness in your throat because this is all you wanted when you were together. After the break up and surprise pregnancy, you didn’t realize how hard he took it when you told him that you have zero expectations of him being involved in your daughter’s life. You were just informing him out of moral obligation, but something switched on inside him after that.
It may not have been for you, but he made that change for her, and seeing them together now, you recognize just how much that man loves his little girl.
That fact alone makes you undeniably happy.
So happy you wish you could give him a real kiss for it.
Your daughter moves to pat his head in gesture of a good job as Sukuna follows her instructions to the T, but her faces scrunches with disgust when she threads her fingers between his locks.
“Daddy, why is your hair wet?”
Sukuna brings his free hand to massage the back of her scalp, “Pay attention to the drawing, missy…and stop asking so many damn, I mean uh-darn questions…” he responds, leaving a kiss on her brow and doing everything in his power to make sure that he avoids looking back at you.
tag: @selarina @yuujispinkhair @blush-bambi @tojislittleprincesss
#baby daddy sukuna x reader au#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x y/n#sukuna fluff#ryomen sukuna fluff
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Maybe in Another Universe, You're Still the Man I Love: Viktor x Reader
Summary: You get sent to the same alternate timeline with Ekko and Heimerdinger, and you find out just how wonderful your life could've been.
Words: 2.1k
Author's Notes: Yeah so that finale sent me into deep grief and writing is the only way I can heal I fear. I hope you enjoy this interpretation of what Viktor could be doing in the alternate timeline.
“Are you alright, darling?”
Your vision comes into focus, though your head is still pounding. You’re extremely nauseous, feeling like your body is not your own as you become aware of the all-too-familiar voice that just spoke to you.
You’re sitting on a desk in an Academy classroom, journals and various papers surrounding you. The sun is shining through the windows, cascading gold onto the other desks and tables. It’s a peaceful, simple sight. Something that feels so wrong for precisely that reason.
“I don’t have another class for a while, you can talk to me,” Viktor says, brushing his fingers against your face. “Care to tell me why you’re looking at me like that?”
You suppose you look like you’ve seen a ghost, which isn’t so far from the truth. You must be dreaming—maybe hallucinating—anything to explain how this isn’t real.
“I…” you start, failing to find the words to say.
-
You storm into the lab, locking your eyes on the empty hexcore cocoon, then at Jayce.
“Where the fuck is he?”
“I don’t know!” Jayce fires back at you, clearly just as distraught as you are. “He woke up and told me he needed to leave me and this place. I have no idea where he went!”
“Why didn’t you follow him?” you scream, your mind spinning. Who knows how the hexcore changed him, he could literally be anywhere.
“He didn’t want me to! What don’t you understand?” Jayce slumps back into his chair, his face in his hands. As soon as he notices a tear fall down your cheek, his tone softens. “Look, I...we both know he’s been different since he started messing with the hexcore. He had told me to destroy it...but I couldn’t. And now he’s even more different. I’m so sorry,”
“Jayce…” you walk towards him. “I’m not blaming you for anything that’s happened. He’s been pushing both of us away for a long time. I guess...I just thought maybe when he woke up he’d love me again like he used to. Did he even ask about me?”
Jayce shakes his head, and your heart sinks even further.
-
“I think I’m dreaming,” you finally say, and Viktor tilts his head. “This...this isn’t real. We’re not like this, we haven’t been like this in a long time. You’re not...what are you here, a professor?”
He cups your face and kisses your forehead, “Darling, I don’t think you’ve been getting enough sleep, you’re talking nonsense,”
“No, no, no,” you jump off the desk and pace around the room. “If this isn’t a dream, then where am I? Some sort of other reality?”
“You mean to say you believe...this is not your world?” Viktor takes in your words intently.
“Well in my world, you fell out of love with me in favor of your work, and then you nearly died and got severely mutated by the hexcore. So yeah, I’d say things are pretty different,”
He raises an eyebrow, “Hex...core?”
“You don’t have that here?”
“Seemingly not,”
You sigh, perching yourself back on the desk, “You don’t believe me, do you?”
“No, I...I have theorized the possibility of alternate universes before, but I never thought I would come face to face with it in my lifetime,” he starts writing on the wall chalkboard. “I see no reason not to believe you. After all, my wife of this universe would probably not be saying these things,”
“We’re married?”
“Of course. Now tell me, what else is different in your universe?”
-
You’ve tried to find him everywhere—going all the secret places the two of you would go in the past, and asking people if they’ve seen him both topside and bottom. There’s no signs, not even a clue. He doesn’t want to be found.
You make your way back to Jayce’s lab, surprised to see Heimerdinger and a young man you don’t recognize with him. They fill you in on their concern about wild runes showing up around the city, and their plan to check on the hexgates. You’re desperate for anything to get your mind off Viktor, so you go along with them.
You’ve never been to the source of the hexgates before, and it’s even more grand than you imagined. One thing could go wrong and the entire thing would explode, but it’s precisely the potential of destruction that makes it all the more fascinating.
That is, until it becomes entirely unpredictable.
Your surroundings change at the blink of an eye—warped visuals and sounds you can’t make out. You scream for the others, but no one can hear.
-
You do your best to describe all the important events and details of your timeline, while Viktor takes notes on the chalkboard and compares what you say to his timeline. He seems particularly interested in his inventions in your timeline, and his partnership with Jayce—who’s no longer alive in his timeline.
“He died in an explosion here at the academy several years ago, it was a tragic accident that also killed a young girl from the undercity. He was a friend and a brilliant mind,” he pauses. “We...actually named our son after him.”
Your eyes widen, overwhelmed by this possibility of what could’ve been, “We have a son?”
“We do. And he’s perfect,” Viktor smiles softly. “You really are from a different time, aren’t you?”
You nod, trying to hold back tears. Why does this reality’s version of you get to be happy? Why does this Viktor get to dodge corruption and the hands of hubris?
Viktor gazes once again on the chalkboard notes, looking for patterns and causes for the differences in your timelines. Would he have reached the same fate if Jayce was still alive? What caused the Undercity to heal and thrive in his timeline but not in yours? Was this hextech you speak of really so destructive?
You are the same person he fell in love with, there’s no doubt in his mind about that, but you’ve been significantly more hurt than the Y/N he knows.
He steps close to you again, wiping the tears from your face and pulling you into him, “I’m so sorry your version of me has taken a different path.”
You sob into his chest, gripping his clothes. He runs his fingers through your hair and rubs your back, soothing you as if you’re his own.
But you’re not his. This isn’t your life.
You pull away, taking a deep breath, “As much as I want to stay here, I can’t keep taking over the consciousness of the me in this world. I need to find the others,”
“I don’t know if it’s possible for you to get back,” he says. “You say you got here through hextech, and that was never invented here.”
“We’ll find a way,” you run to the window, looking out to get a gauge of where you are. Heimerdinger might have landed somewhere here in the Academy too, and Ekko probably went back to the Undercity. But Jayce—if he’s dead in this universe—where would he be?
“Before you go,” Viktor places a hand on your shoulder. “Would you like to meet our son?”
Anxiety washes over you, your body going numb from the prospect. Would it only hurt you more to see a life that you could’ve created?
“Don’t you have more classes to teach, professor?” you smile, trying to turn your nervousness into something lighthearted.
“I’ll cancel for today. It’s about the time you usually pick him up from school anyway,”
He grabs his cane with one hand and takes your hand with the other, posting a quick note on his door as you leave.
-
You sit on a bench outside the elementary school, your heart pounding. This child is going to run out that building any minute, eager to see the mother he’s always known.
But you’re not her. You didn’t carry him, birth him, or raise him. You don’t have the same memories and experiences.
But you must pretend that you do.
You know which one he is immediately. He’s a perfect combination of yours and Viktor’s features, just like you’d imagined. His smile is contagious, and he wastes no time jumping into your arms.
“Look what I made at school today, Mommy!” he puts a crafty contraption in front of your face, a colorful collection of sticks and paper glued together.
“That’s so creative, honey, I love it,” but your attention is solely focused on him, his sweet face glowing with pride and joy.
“Quite the little inventor, aren’t you?” Viktor applauds him. “What else did you learn today?”
“We did reading and spelling. I can spell family now. F-A-M-I-L-E!”
“Close, sweetheart. There’s a ‘Y’ at the end,” you laugh,
“Are you sure about that?” he says, wincing his adorable face in thought. “Whatever. I learned how to spell brother and sister too, but I don’t have any of those. How do I get one of those?”
Viktor chuckles, “I’ll talk about it with your Mommy, how about that?”
“Okay!” he jumps up and starts walking home with the two of you.
-
What if I stayed? You wonder.
You’re playing with your son on the living room floor, with toys mostly made by Viktor himself. The house is small but cozy, a home you wish was really yours. What if you just stay in this dream reality forever?
What if you never find the others? What if there really is no way to get back?
But no, that wouldn’t be fair to the you of this reality. She’s the one who has this life, not you. Besides, Viktor and his son deserve their wife and mother back.
You hear a knock on the door, and Viktor goes to open it.
“Oh, Viktor, it is so good to see you.”
Your head swivels instantly towards the yordle in the entryway, “Heimerdinger! You found me!” you join Viktor at the door, “Where’s Ekko and Jayce?”
“I have not found Jayce as of yet, but I did find Ekko and sent him back to his timeline about a week ago. We found some hextech fragments and were able to use them to jump through time and space.”
“So...I can get home too?”
“As soon as you’re ready. We built the machine in a young girl’s lab in the Undercity,” he looks between you, then Viktor, and finally your son. His attitude of urgency dissipates as he begins to understand. “But...I could not blame you if you want to stay longer.”
Your son Jayce comes running to join you, grabbing onto your leg, “Who’s this guy, Mommy?”
“This is Professor Heimerdinger, he used to work at the Academy,” you pat his head, “Your dad used to be his assistant.”
“I’m sure you already have a brilliant mind, my boy,” Heimerdinger says. “Your parents must be proud.”
Little Jayce giggles.
“Actually, I would very much like to see this new invention you’ve built, Professor,” Viktor speaks up. “I’m now quite intrigued by the prospect of other universes.”
“I have no rule against you observing, Viktor, but I’m sure you understand I must destroy it after we all get back. It is too dangerous to be left here unsupervised,” Heimerdinger’s tone becomes more serious. “I’m sure Y/N has told you of the destruction hextech caused in our universe, especially to you.”
“Of course, Professor. I understand.”
-
You’ve never seen the Undercity look this beautiful.
It seems that the other version of you comes here often, so many people wave to you and little Jayce automatically runs off with some kids his age to play.
You meet a blue-haired young lady named Powder, who helped Heimerdinger and Ekko in their experiments. She looks so familiar to you, but you can’t place where you’ve seen her in your reality.
Heimerdinger explains how it works, and both you and Viktor listen intently. With everything up and running, you could go back this instant.
The pull to go back is strong, like an obligation to return to your rightful place in the universe. But the pull to stay is equally strong, as you gaze into your husband’s beautiful amber eyes that you want to find solace in forever.
“It’s your choice, my love,” Viktor says, as if reading your mind.
“I know I need to go back…” you exhale, tears welling in your eyes once again. “But I don’t know what I’m going back to,”
“I don’t know either,” he caresses your face, “But I do know you are strong in every universe,”
“I’m not,” you shake your head, “Not without you.”
“Don’t say that,” his thumbs smooth across your cheeks.
You nod, turning towards the device.
“Could you…could you kiss me one last time?” you ask.
Viktor wastes no time honoring your request, crashing his lips to yours with lasting passion. He pulls away only as you back into the circle, leaving you with one last affectionate whisper:
“I’m so fortunate to have met another version of you, my love.”
#arcane x reader#viktor arcane x reader#machine herald x reader#arcane#viktor arcane#machine herald#fem reader
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Creator Spotlight: @mimimar
Hi! I’m Michelle (Mimimar), an illustrator born and raised in Venezuela, currently based in Italy. I enjoy making colorful illustrations that reflect the things I love: fairy tales, fantasy, tenderness and queer (especially sapphic) stories. Occasionally, I also make paper dolls, comics and animatics. I have a lot of interest in book illustration and I’m currently developing my own stories that I hope to share as an author-illustrator someday!
Check out our interview with Michelle below!
Did you originally have a background in art? If not, how did you start?
I always enjoyed drawing when I was a kid, but it only became a hobby that I did almost every day when I was around 11. At first I only used traditional mediums, but I decided to make a serious effort to learn how to draw digitally when I was 15, and once I got the hang of it I never stopped!
I didn’t go to art school so all of my learning was done through studying the tutorials and resources that other artists generously share on the internet and lots of practice / trial and error.
How do you want to evolve as a creator?
I want to do many things but what I want to do the most right now is work on books! I want to make art for other authors’ stories and also my own stories as an author-illustrator. I want to grow as a storyteller and create art and stories that will really resonate with people emotionally. I’m always striving to improve my skills as well.
I also really love dolls, so working on doll box art or as a doll designer is something I would love to do someday. I actually have been designing paper dolls on my Patreon for the past few months, it’s been a fun project that is still ongoing right now!
What is one habit you find yourself doing a lot as an artist?
Probably using a lot of purple! It’s my favorite color so I find myself using it a lot. If I can find a way to sneak a little bit of purple into an illustration or a character design then I will.
Congratulations on finishing your Ivy Comic! Did the outcome turn out like how you expected or were there some unexpected bumps along the way?
Thank you! It’s a project that I worked on very slowly in between other art because I wanted to really take my time with every spread and make each of them a fully detailed illustration. I thumbnailed the full comic before starting but I kept changing the sketch for the final spread until the very end! Overall I’m really proud of the end result. I sprinkled a lot of hidden details in every page that I hope some of the readers will notice. For example: the meanings of the flowers in each page represent what the characters are feeling in that moment, and the colors of their wardrobe become gradually lighter as the story progresses to represent their emotions, as well as the changing of seasons.
We’ve noticed that you have created some amazing cover art for TGCF. Is there another series you would like to do something similar with?
That was another passion project that took some time to complete. Initially, I didn’t intend for them to be specifically covers, it was just a series of illustrations based on the 5 books/main arcs of TGCF. But since they were well-received and I had people telling me they wish they could use them as covers for their books, I decided to rework them into dust jackets for the english translation of TGCF!
I haven’t thought of any other specific series but I love doing cover art so maybe I’ll do something similar again in the future!
What’s your favorite part of your style? Why?
I’ve heard from other people that there’s a delicate quality to my art, this is something that I like a lot! I like pretty things, fairytales and vibrant colors. I think all of these things probably reflect in the art I make as well.
If there is one thing you want your audience to remember about your work, what would it be?
I hope that they remember how it made them feel. Feelings and colors are the two things I give priority to in my work. Most of the time I like depicting tenderness, softness and emotional intimacy. If that could reach the viewer and stay with them it would make me very happy.
I make a lot of art with queer (mainly sapphic) themes because they’re the kind of stories I personally like and want to see more of, so whenever people tell me that my art has helped them in their journey to discover and accept themselves, or that they see themselves and their partner in my art, it is always extremely meaningful to me. When art that I made to give myself comfort can provide comfort for others, no matter how small, it reminds me once again that despite any hardships art is genuinely worth pursuing.
Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?
So many artists! To name a few: I love @sakizo’s amazing eye for fashion and detail, @paneeps’ gorgeous style and striking colors, the sweetness of @bevsi’s art, @vickisigh’s pretty colors and concepts, @idledee’s warm and heartfelt art, @littlestpersimmon’s dreamy wonderful art, and @loish has been an inspiration for as long as I can remember.
Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, Michelle! Be sure to check out their Tumblr blog over at @mimimar.
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fully introducing…dealer!matt and goodgirl!reader
in which…your friend brings you along to a trap house party, where you meet the dealer himself.
warnings: mentions of drugs, alcohol, and suggestive content. no smut.
note: my first ever prompt is here! i’m not the best writer so i really do hope u enjoy.
your heart thumped the same rhythm as the loud bass blasting off the walls. as you walked into the trap house, the more you saw, the tighter your hand gripped your friend.
it was much wilder than you had ever imagined, or maybe it was because parties weren’t your thing. you’d rather be cooped up in your cozy bed with your nose stuck in some romance book.
the lights are down low, and a small disco ball flashes colors, matching the pace of whatever rap song is playing. you scrunch your nose as you smell a whiff of weed and alcohol lingering in the air.
a bunch of rowdy boys huddle up over a table, playing some sort of game involving alcohol, though it looks like they’ve done a lot of drinking and less playing. as you walk in further, each corner is busy with horny couples sticking their tongues down each other's throats.
your friend looks back at you, tightening her hold as you two make your way past a busy crowd. she’s only been here a few times, but she’s already familiar with the layout, having some sort of relationship with a guy who lives here.
squeezing past the sweaty bodies, your friend pulls you towards the direction of a couch. one of the guys sitting there raises his head, a small grin appearing on his face.
“what’s up, baby?” he lifts himself off the couch and snakes his arm around her waist. “y’made it.”
“hi,” her voice soft and gentle. she motions to you with a wave, signaling you to get closer. “chris, this is my friend and roommate.”
he nods, “s’nice to meet you. heard a lot about you actually,” he smirks.
chris goes on, joking about how much of a yapper your friend is. you on your end, block out their conversation, distracted by the items on the coffee table.
teeny tiny bags of colored pills lay on the flat surface, as well as lines of white powder and expired credit cards. in the middle, cold bottles of high-quality alcohol sit next to an ashtray with stones of a certain green plant and cut-up brown paper.
a tattooed arm brings you back to focus when it reaches over, picking up a pre-rolled joint and a lighter. your eyes shift towards the owner, chewing on your bottom lip as you take in the mysterious man.
the first thing you noticed was his stubble, and how well it defined his sharp jaw. the messy hair look makes it seem like it was made for him. it just fell perfectly into place around his sculptured face.
“y’starin’ mad hard, sweetheart.” his low, husky voice snapped you out of your daze. “y’tryna buy or… jus’ like whatcha see?” a slight smirk appeared as he finally pulled his gaze from the joint to your wide eyes. he glances at your pouty lips, licking his own before meeting your gaze once again.
you shake your head; the thought of trying pills or weed alone makes your skin crawl. it’s no secret that you’ve at least tried alcohol, but then again, it was just a tiny sip.
“oh, no thank you... I—I don’t do that,” you say nervously.
he chuckles lowly, “of course you don’t…” he mutters. he looks around, noticing chris had taken off with your friend to most likely fool around in his bedroom.
matt takes in your nervous state; he shouldn’t care if you'll be fine on your own or not. the drugs in his system have already been fucking with his head, but the thought of a pretty innocent girl being all on her own didn’t sit right with him—or maybe he was already making you his… and matt hates when people take what’s his.
“sit. lemme keep you some company, yeah? you...your uh friend dipped. can’t have a quiet little angel all by herself in a place like this.”
you clear your throat as you slowly make your way next to him. being this close to him makes your head foggy; he’s intimidating, and the scent of his spicy cologne mixed with a hint of weed doesn’t help either. he’s got this…thing that creates an unfamiliar warm fuzzy feeling in your core.
you play with the hem of your skirt as you sit inches away from him, rubbing your slick thighs together. the action doesn’t go unnoticed by matt, his imagination running wild, wanting to throw you over his shoulder and into his bed. his cock hard as a rock just imagining your pouty face as he eats your sweet cunt out.
matt runs a hand through his brown hair, trying to shake off the dirty things he wants to do to you. he places his rough, clasped hand on your knee. it’s light and gentle, yet it doesn't help the growing fire in your tummy.
“easy, sweetheart… i'm gonna be honest, angel,” he rubs your thigh in an up-and-down motion, going as high as where the end of your skirt touches his fingertips.
“that thing you’re doin’… ‘s’makin’ me think some things… naughty things.”
you stop the action immediately, your skin filling up with goosebumps as his hand moves to your inner thigh, not that close where you need him but close enough that matt could feel the heat. glancing at him with those big eyes, you mutter a little ‘sorry.’
matt squeezes your thigh, his mind too caught up in the way you’re nervously biting on your bottom lip, “relax, babydoll. jus’ sit back and be a good girl, yeah? i got you, angel.”
he smirks slyly when you nod again. swallowing thickly, you relax your shoulders and sit back. matt’s hand moves higher, up your soft skin when your skirt rises. “there we go, gooood girl,” he praises, his smirk growing wider. he leans in, his hot breath fanning your ear, “y'know...i think we’re gonna get along jus’ well, angel.”
© 𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗍𝗌𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗅𝖾𝗍
interact under this post to be notified when i upload posts like this!
a/n: been in my drafts for so long, i can’t keep hiding there. also feel free to send me some inbox’s about these two!
TAGS: @mbbsgf
#𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐬𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐭© ˚ ༘ ೀ#𝗺.𝘀 ᯓᡣ𐭩 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁#𑁤 dealer!matt x goodgirl!reader 𑁤#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo prompt#the sturniolo triplets#matthew sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo drabble#matt sturniolo imagine#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#the sturniolo triplets x you#goodgirl!reader#sturniolo#sturn tumblr#prompt#matt x reader
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[◉°] … toji & y/n being a couple for 10 minutes straight pt.3
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ。˚ 𓂋 ❄﹒✦﹒✿ ˚
꩜ actor!toji x actress!reader
⤷ synopsis : just toji & reader being idiots in luv…
꩜ content : crazy fans, very mild physical violence (toji pushing ppl lol), toji being a little ooc again. this is really not as wack as the warnings are making it sound.
- a/n : loads of people seem to be enjoying this & i enjoy making them, so here you go! :D
. . . part 1, part 2, part 4
masterlists
౨ৎ first clip
(recorded by your fansite) - you & toji are at the airport and it is packed. there are fans swarming you, practically suffocating you & toji, along with paparazzi taking pictures of you, flashing lights in your face. your bodyguards are literally at war trying to guard you and you have to cling onto toji’s arm to even get past the sea of people.
all of a sudden one fan somehow gets way too close, and grabs a hold of your shirt, trying to drag you towards him. you jerk forward and without even hesitating, toji just grabs the face of the crazy fan and pushes him away like it’s nothing, causing a domino effect having other fans falling over as well.
toji puts an arm around you and guides you to check your tickets, ignoring all the chaos he caused behind him.
(this got a lot of mixed reactions, some people siding with toji saying he was just protecting you & others criticising him for his rash actions that could’ve caused people to get injured 💀)
౨ৎ second clip
you & toji were doing a video for WIRED, taking part in their popular series, “Web’s Most Searched Questions” about yourselves.
“okay third question..” you say, and peel off the paper. “are _____ and toji..dating?”
you & toji look at the camera and then at each other, faces hot and you’re both awkwardly smiling before looking at the camera again. you & toji speak. “yeah, i dunno.” “nooo idea.” “literally no clue whatsoever.” “why even ask that like-like we’d know the answer?”
you peel the next question and it’s even worse. “are _____ and toji having- A BABY?!” you shout and cover your face laughing, both in shock and amusement. “what?!”
toji just facepalms, hiding his pink cheeks and sighs tiredly. “christ…”
౨ৎ third clip
you’re at a press conference for the series you and toji are in, all the cast members are gathered on a long table with microphones but it’s a pretty informal gathering and the fans are being very interactive with the cast!
a crew members hands the microphone to a fan who has a question. “hi! hi, i’m sarah and uhm..i have a question for toji. and _____ too! do you think that your characters have a chance of..like..getting together? like romantically-?”
“yeah we’re getting together,” toji responds bluntly, reeling in the loud cheers from the crowd & he decides to add fuel to the fire. “and we’re gonna have a make-out scene too.”
the audiences goes crazy with applause and whistles, while you pinch the bridge of your nose, shaking your head in embarrassment as the cast look to see your reaction.
then the director of the show pitches in, holding her finger up. “just to clarify, we did not discuss this..”
there’s a chorus of laughs and sad ‘awws’ among the pool of fans which only makes you giggle. you didn’t even know what to say to toji’s brashness.
gojo chimes in with his loud mouth while everyone is still buzzing from toji’s unexpected words. “talking about kisses and stuff like. this guy’s just saying what he wants to hear!”
everyone starts creasing up again and you & toji lean your heads to look at each other on opposing ends of the table, and he just smirks at you while you just shake your head and try not to look so obvious..
౨ৎ fourth clip
vogue did a video with you getting ready for a fashion show you were invited to, by the designer herself.
the makeup artists had just finished your shimmery, fairy-like makeup and now the stylists were accessorising you with jewellery and fixing your hair.
“yeah i really like how the hair is done,” you say, referring to the baby pink ribbon tied cutely around your bun. “it’s really cute! and the dress is just so-”
the door to the dressing room opens and toji pokes his head in, the camera zooming in on him. “‘ya done yet?”
“toji?” you ask, exasperated. “toji get out! we’re not finished yet..”
toji looks you up and down in confusion. “ya look done to me. we gotta leave in like-”
“toji i am clearly not finished. we have to go through which jewellery looks the best with the neckline of the dress and..my whole look altogether so it doesn’t drown me out! and then we have to pick the correct shoes and make sure i’m comfortable with them and that they look pretty but also don’t take attention away from the dress. and then for the perfume-”
“yeah, yeah, alright, i get it.” toji totes. “but we have to be there in 30 minutes so-”
“oh toji’.” you sigh, looking in the mirror while the stylist fuss around you. “it’s okay if we’re late. i’m the main event. the designer invented me personally. they won’t even start the show if i’m not there. it’ll be fine, trust me.”
toji looks at you for a moment and then simply shrugs, nodding and accepting your words.
౨ৎ fifth clip
“so yeah, this is the book i’m reading.” you hold up ‘pride & prejudice’ to the camera for your fans to see. you were on a livestream, which you don’t usually do, and many fans were watching. “i just love this book. the characters are-”
loud, thudding footsteps can be heard in the background and you pause. a deep, clearly a man’s voice can be heard and then a shirtless toji walks into frame (as identified by his tattoos bc his face is not on camera). he reaches out of frame.
“sorry, jus’ forgot my shirt.”
he puts his shirt on, not even realising what he just did in front of 50,000 people and walks out of the room
it all happened so fast, you sit with your jaw open like a fish, holding your now forgotten book in your hand while the chat goes wild, spamming questions of “who is that?” “is that toji?” “you and toji are together?” in a frantic, chaotic fashion.
you just look at the camera and reach forward, abruptly ending the live. fans did not stop talking about this moment for months and they most certainly did not believe you when you said toji was just at your house for a little ‘visit’.
౨ৎ
tag list: @tiredslepz | @hayatslife | @shxyxyxxxx | @snowprincesa1 | @laylasbunbunny | @mimiemie
a/n: yk how hard it is to think of ideas for this omg 😭💔
#actor!toji#actress!reader#toji x reader#toji x you#toji x y/n#toji x self insert#toji fluff#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro x you#toji fushiguro x y/n#toji fushiguro fluff#toji zenin x reader
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Too Hot for Snow
Pairing: Jaehyun x reader x Jaemin
Genre: angst, drama, romance, smut, love triangle
Word Count: 17k
Warnings: There are two smut scenes with the same mc, but nothing that really needs a tw. If you aren't here for him, you can skip them without missing out on anything tho! The other mc won't come short in terms of romance either, trust the process! But it's a bittersweet ending.
Summary: When your husband decides to file for divorce, you find yourself back in the arms of your first love. After all, things are different now and you're not kids anymore. But after a weekend lost in heavy snowfall and wishful dreams, you come to the painful realization that some people don't want to change, and others change too much.
A/N: I wrote this inspired by my own experience from a time where I had to decide between my situationship and now-bf. I thought I could pass this message on to ones who need this as well. Sometimes, we make the right decisions, sometimes the wrong ones. Sometimes, it's too late, sometimes it's not. (Also, I miss Jaehyun :( D-497)
Three years. That was how long your marriage had lasted.
“I want a divorce.”
These words shouldn’t surprise let alone hurt you - but they still did. After all, nothing could prepare you for the day your husband decided to divorce you.
You had talked about it before Jaehyun had moved out and mutually agreed on seriously thinking about an official separation while taking this six month break from each other.
Yet, hearing this final decision out loud from your own husband’s lips made it real. And even though it had been foreseeable and up to a point even inevitable, you hadn’t been prepared for reality, for the fact that now, this was indeed real.
Your husband didn’t want to be married to you any longer.
How was that even possible?
We walk down the aisle, thinking it will be forever. Donned in our white gown, the veil in our hair and the flower bouquet close to our chest, we are full of hope, light and love for the person who awaits us by the altar.
“Till death do us part” is considered the love line of our lives as we all desire to vow it one day to our partner.
But thinking about it, it sounds morbid. We stand in front of witnesses and promise to the heavens that it will literally take a terminal illness, a fatal accident or another forced act of nature to tear this love apart.
The painful truth is that it takes much, much less.
It often takes minimal profound, heroic and inspiring reasons for two married people to never look at each other again. Oftentimes, love doesn’t get torn apart by death. It gets torn apart by pent-up arguments, lack of commitment and the belief that everything you already own still isn’t enough.
“What about Kang Kang?”
Your throat was so dry, you didn’t even recognize your own voice, and Jaehyun ran his fingers through his hair. He had dark circles under his eyes and his clothes were wrinkled, hair completely askew.
There had been a time, back then in university, where on weekends, you both had looked like that, but for entirely different reasons. You were just staying at home, playing games and watching movies together. It had been the best and most carefree time of your lives. The strict business man Jaehyun had turned into throughout the years would have never left the house looking like this.
At this moment, you could see your past boyfriend in your husband again, who you had long deemed missing, and you wondered where you both had taken the wrong turn in your once fairytale-like relationship.
“He’s your dog on paper,” Jaehyun said nearly matter-of-factly. “You can keep Kang Kang.”
You bit into your bottom lip, so hard that you swore you could nearly taste something metallic. “Is this your final decision?”
In the break of the second that he needed to answer, you grew hopeful again. Hopeful that your husband would admit this decision was wrong, that he wanted to work on things for you two to be happy again.
Because this was the conclusion you had come to last night. You didn’t want a divorce, you didn’t want to give this all up. You wanted your little family, you wanted your husband and your dog, and children of your own in the future.
But instead, Jaehyun said with a tired, but determined voice,
“It’s my final decision.”
____
If Jaehyun were a season, he’d be summer.
He was the feeling of getting woken up by sunshine tickling the tip of your nose. He was the salt on your skin when you emerged from the sea, the sand beneath your toes and the water dripping from your hair tips. He was the shade under a tree on sweltering days and flowers blooming in all colors.
He was everything good, fair and bright.
… Until summer vanished and you were left alone when seasons changed. It didn’t only become clear by change in weather, but also by the fact that Jaehyun had taken every last piece of himself out of your once shared apartment.
By the next week, he had officially filed for divorce.
Summer had come to an end.
____
If Jaemin were a season, he’d be winter.
He was the feeling of thick sweaters when you got dressed on a cold day. He was the sound of snow crunching under your boots, the cup of hot chocolate you drank while watching the icebound lake. He was the snowstorm that came overnight and locked you in, causing chaos and destruction.
Jaemin was charming, tempting and dangerous.
But who, after a hot, sweltering summer, had never not anticipated a beautiful winter wonderland?
Luckily, winter came early that year.
____
“Why are you calling me at this hour?”
You stared at the skyline stretching in front of you. The few cars passing by were only recognizable by their headlights, but apart from that as well as a handful of windows reflecting some light in the building across from you, it was a quiet and dark night, the clock showing 3am.
“Why are you picking up?” you asked.
A light hearted laughter that made your heart jump followed. “I will always pick up when you call, you know that.”
“I know.”
A beat of silence passed by as you opened the balcony door and stepped outside, closing it again behind you. You turned your head to the sky and watched the moon, and you knew Jaemin was doing the same right now.
“Did you already sign and send out the papers?” Jaemin questioned.
“Yes,” you answered, and as you spoke, you could see a small cloud forming in front of your face. “They are at my lawyer’s now to get checked. So perhaps, by next week, his lawyer will get them and send them out to him to sign too. Then, I’ll be a divorcée.”
“Don’t use that word.”
“Why not?”
“It sounds like you’ll be a lonely, sad woman.”
“Well, if anything, I’ll be a lonely, sad dog-mom.” Your gaze wandered aside to the balcony door from where you could see Kang Kang sleeping peacefully on this dog bed in the very corner of the living room.
“You’re neither going to be a lonely, sad woman nor a lonely, sad dog-mom. You’re going to be free. You should be happy.”
“I can only be happy with you.”
Jaemin let out a chuckle that came in unison with a cool winter breeze grazing your skin, and only now you noticed how icy it actually was outside, only dressed in your pajamas and a bathrobe. But right now, you didn’t mind the cold. You only tried to remember the last time you had felt so… like Jaemin had said… happy.
It had been half a year since Jaehyun had come to you to file for a divorce and already a full year since you had actually started living in separation. That was enough time to move forward when you had been long unhappy before.
You could finally quit pretending, quit fighting, quit caring. You had finally reconnected with the man you had always referred to as your first love, willing to start all over again with him.
Then why, when you looked at the night sky, the only thing your mind wandered back to was still the night Jaehyun had proposed to you?
Back then, he had just graduated from university and you had been working in your job for two years already. He had saved up all the money that he had earned while being enlisted to buy you the perfect engagement ring that was now kept hidden in your drawer along with the wedding band. A very beautiful ring that had once been a symbol for a very beautiful relationship.
His proposal had taken place under the night sky too, in privacy like you had wished for, with only the moon and stars as witnesses. It had hurt to look at the night sky for a very long time after your separation. But it didn’t anymore now, it was more of a nostalgic feeling.
As though Jaemin could read your thoughts, he said, “Don’t worry, when we get married, we don’t have to go through a divorce, I’ll get you an even more striking ring.”
“Stop joking.”
“I’m not joking,” he obliged. “I mean it.”
“Jaemin…” You swallowed, hard. “What are you even saying?”
“I’m saying,” you overheard him taking a deep breather, “if I had done things right the first time, we would have stayed together after high school and you would have gotten married to me instead, and you wouldn’t need to go through all this now.”
You both knew that this wasn’t true.
There had been grave things that had led to the downfall of your first relationship and you into the arms of your soon-to-be ex-husband. Things that had been totally out of your might to control as you had been so young. But that was long in the past and you had both grown enough as people to pick up where you had left off and do it better this time.
After all, Jaemin was your first love. That meant something, that was something special.
You sighed. “We were only kids. But now we’re adults. We now have the chance to do it better than back then, Jaemin, and that means to always be honest with each other.”
“I mean every word I said.”
You felt your heart turn heavy. “But for me, it means that I don’t think I will be ready to get married again in the next few years. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about that.” His light-hearted laughter took the weight from your chest at an instant. That was what had always fascinated you about Jaemin. Everything seemed so easy and carefree with him. “I’ll wait. One year, two years, five years, ten years… I’ll wait until you’re ready again.”
“Back then, you never wanted to get married and always dreamed about getting famous, moving to America....” You only then realized that it could be taken as an insult and wanted to correct yourself quickly, but he preempted,
“Back then, I chose foolishness over commitment. But this time, I mean it and I will come get you next week.”
“Get me?” You raised a brow. “To where?”
“To Jeonju."
“To do what?”
“To be with me.”
“I can’t move to Jeonju so suddenly, Jaemin. I have a job here, my apartment, my dog, my family, especially my grandma…”
“Then only for the weekend. Bring Kang Kang with you. And the rest, we’ll figure it out together.”
Silence from your end, but he was being patient. “Do you mean it?”
“I mean it this time too. It’s been two weeks since we’ve last seen each other and we only met twice overall since back then. I know there is so much going on in your life right now, but I need more of you. And you could need a break from your daily life. So come to me.”
A romantic weekend in Jaemin’s home in Jeonju sounded exactly like what you needed right now.
So you answered, “Okay, let’s do it.”
You were looking forward to winter.
____
The first family gathering without your husband took place two days later, the weekend before you planned on leaving for your short trip to Jeonju.
You had informed your mother about your separation two weeks after the official decision via a text message, very short and dry. You hadn’t wanted to speak to anyone as to why and when, ignoring all upcoming calls from every family member since the news had spread like wildfire. It had been hard enough the first time already when you had to explain why your husband had moved out. You couldn’t do this all over again.
Not because you were rude. But because you were still hurting and you feared that speaking about it stirred up feelings you had long locked up deep inside your heart. Only now, you were ready to face everyone again. Because half a year later, you were fine again.
Your big family adored Jaehyun so much, especially your grandmother, so you still met her with a heavy heart. To her, Jaehyun had been the perfect grandson-in-law, everything she had ever wished for you, and the feeling had been mutual since you had rarely seen your own relatives act with your grandmother as closely as Jaehyun had.
Whenever you had visited, he had brought her gifts, helped her with the chores and told her stories that made her laugh her heart out. Nobody else had done all this with such sincerity and continuity as Jaehyun, and it broke your heart to know that you had robbed her of this experience forever.
Your grandmother was celebrating her 80th birthday that Saturday, and with her declining health you didn’t know for how many more birthdays she could still be around, so you wanted to spend the remaining time with her, even if it was only you alone.
“How are you doing, sweetheart?”
You were sitting on the couch in her living room while everyone else was still dining, chatting and laughing.
“I think I’m doing quite fine.”
“Are you sure?”
She reached out her weak, fragile hand and touched your cheek. You started to wonder when your grandmother had aged so much. The woman who had watched over you when you were still a child, had driven you to school, had made you food, and had let you spend the weekends with her. The one who had dried your tears when you had gotten your heart broken in school, who had picked up every single broken piece of you throughout the years.
She couldn’t do all that anymore, but she still could tell how you were feeling just by taking a brief look at you.
You couldn’t deceive your grandmother, so you just shrugged and her hand slipped from your cheek right into yours, squeezing it meekly.
“It’s alright to still mourn him, sweetheart. If, at some point in your life, you realize that you have made the wrong decision, don’t hesitate for a single second and tell him.”
“What do you mean?”
You didn’t believe in the term ‘the one that got away’ which people would commonly use to describe a lost lover they were still thinking about all the time. You believed that you could grow to love someone just as much as you could grow to stop loving someone. If humans could never move on, how were they supposed to continue living?
“Your grandfather…” Around your grandmother’s thin lips played a mild smile that gave her face back something very youthful. “He was and will always be the love of my life. I married him young and I stayed loyal to him until he passed away. I loved him with my whole heart and he was the only person that had ever evoked such feelings inside of me.”
It tightened around your chest as it reminded you painfully of Jaehyun.
“But there was a time before our marriage,” your grandmother continued, and although the smile around her lips was still present, it wasn’t quite merry anymore, but rather pained, “where we were separated, because we didn’t know whether we should get married or not. There was still so much to see in the world, so many people to get to know. Why would we settle so early? So we decided we wouldn’t.”
“Grandma, you never told me that.” You squeezed her hand back to comfort her.
“I got back with my first ever love from when I was still a teenager. The timing was just right, we both seemed to have evolved so much. Maybe fate wanted us to take this path and meet again much later.”
Now, warmth grew in your heart as it reminded you of Jaemin.
You had gotten to know each in the second year of high school when he transferred to your school, and the two years that followed was a whirlwind of ups and downs that, looking back at, you wouldn’t have wanted to miss a single second of. After all, it had forged you into the person you were now, and also into the one that had met Jaehyun and had now led you back to Jaemin.
But you feared your story would separate from your grandmother’s at this point. “How did you then end up with grandpa?”
You now understood why your grandmother was wearing that expression. It wasn’t a fully happy core memory anymore, nor a completely sad one either. It was bittersweet. “It didn’t work out the second time around as well.”
“...May I ask why? You sounded so happy. What happened?” It wasn’t like you wanted to push her boundaries, you were genuinely curious as you secretly found yourself in a similar position now.
“When one day, I returned home, I encountered your grandfather by my house. Apparently, he had waited two days and nights for me and refused to leave unless I talked to him. So I did and he officially proposed. I wanted a week to think about this, and when I, following this event, wanted my first love to make a decision, he couldn’t.”
“He didn't want to marry you?”
“Even after all these years, he didn’t know whether he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. And I wanted a man that knew.”
You inhaled deeply. “And you never went back to your first love.”
“I never went back to him,” she repeated. “Not because I didn’t love him, but because I knew your grandfather would show up in ways he could never. And that was what I wanted.”
You were asking yourself whether your grandmother told you this story on purpose. But then again, she never did anything without a purpose. She wanted you to learn something from it, and it actually hurt you quite a bit that she was questioning your decision.
“I don’t regret it. Do you regret it, grandma?”
“I don’t regret anything either, sweetheart, absolutely not.” You were worried that she might conceal the truth from you, but from her voice alone and the way her mien changed to the one she was always wearing when she talked lovingly about your grandfather, you were assured that she was being honest and always had been. “Sometimes, I still think about him and wonder where he is, what he’s doing if he’s still al-... And it’s normal. Sometimes, I wonder what if. But if I could turn back time, I wouldn’t have chosen differently.”
Your grandmother’s gaze wandered to the coffee table where you spotted something very familiar for the first time since you had arrived: a pink bouquet consisting of different summer flower arrangements. The one Jaehyun and you usually got together and brought over to your grandmother whenever you visited.
This time, you hadn’t had time to bring anything, and admittedly it had also slipped your mind completely. Yet, the very same bouquet was standing there on the coffee table.
“Jaehyun was here?” you breathed.
She nodded. “This morning.”
You weren't surprised. This was typical of Jaehyun. He always thought about others first, never missing an event, always reliant and considerate. With your own mind always wandering, you had very much relied on him and he had never complained about taking matters into his own hands.
“Grandma, I-” You didn’t know why your heart suddenly felt so heavy.
“I’m not telling you what to do, sweetheart. I’m just wondering if nowadays, before a couple decides to divorce, they have already given everything. There is a reason you were married in the first place. That’s all. That is something you should always think of.”
Yes, you had given everything, every day and minute of your marriage.
When Jaehyun had stayed for work longer, then worked during the weekends and then rarely came home anymore. When you had started to feel lonely, not appreciated and unheard of your feelings. When, every time you had still seen each other, every minor thing led to an argument where one of you needed to leave the house.
You had tried, over and over again.
“I have given it my all, grandma. I have.”
“If you can confidently say that, then move on, sweetheart.”
____
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
You followed Jaehyun into his new apartment, Kang Kang passing by you. He was jumping up and down, circling around Jaehyun like the happy labrador he was. As you had figured out, there were no dogs allowed in Jaemin’s apartment, so you had asked Jaehyun to take care of him this specific weekend.
You wondered whether it was selfish of you and quickly came to the conclusion that yes, it was, and cruel on top of that too. That was why you hid the truth from your soon-to-be ex-husband and had told him you had work in Jeonju this weekend and no other family could take Kang Kang. At least the latter was the truth as you had earnestly tried it everywhere before, but to no avail.
At least, you knew Kang Kang was in good hands, and he hadn’t seen his human dad in so long either. You put your dog’s belongings in the living room, which consisted of his bed, a few toys, his bowls and other necessities.
“Don’t you have to work this weekend, though?” you asked Jaehyun politely.
You still didn’t know how to behave in front of him whenever you had to interact. This was actually the third time you met since your official separation half a year ago with the first two being the time he had to pack his stuff and move out completely. How did one interact with the person you were soon to be called ex-husband?
You were nervous and anxious, but also somehow happy to see him, because you hadn’t seen each other in three months. Jaehyun was still Jaehyun, he hadn’t changed. You wondered whether he was dating someone new now too, though.
“I actually requested time off this weekend when I knew Kang Kang would come,” he answered almost nonchalantly. “Do you want something to drink? I’m sorry, I only have water.”
You weren’t sure whether the water would help the lump that had built in your throat to disappear, so you declined. And just like that, Jaehyun had requested an entire weekend off when you had had begged him in the past to do so over and over again. You were hurt, once again, and it showed all over your face.
“I’ve started a new job, actually,” he quickly explained, but you didn’t know whether it would make it all better, truth to be told. “Less salary, but since I’m living alone now, it’s fine. They still pay well enough and I have more time to myself.”
You deadpanned, “Good for you.”
It shouldn’t bother you anymore, it really shouldn’t. But you couldn’t shake off the fact that Jaehyun had changed his work and lifestyle almost so easily right after separating from you when he hadn’t been able to do exactly that while still with you. What had hindered him all this time?
Jaehyun, sensing already where this conversation would lead to since you had been there over and over again in the past, quickly changed the topic. “How is your grandma?”
You unpacked Kang Kang’s stuff while he arranged the bed for him where he thought your dog would like it.
“Quit playing, I know you visited her.”
He let out a shy laugh. “Did she tell you? I purposely told her not to.”
“She didn’t have to, really. I saw the flowers and knew immediately.”
You turned around to him, and even from the side, while he was kneeling down and petted Kang Kang, you perceived how shy he had gotten as his ears had turned slightly red.
“I was worried about her since she hasn’t been feeling well these past months. So I wanted to check up on her. I didn’t want to break tradition, you know. Yet.”
“I know,” you admitted and quietly added, “Thank you for that.”
“I hope she’ll get better soon.”
He shifted in your direction and smiled, and this reaction made you longing for easier times where you didn't have to deal with the fact that this was the last time he had seen your grandmother.
Had you been too greedy, wanting too much that he hadn’t been willing to or couldn’t give yet? Had you pressured him too much and driven him away instead? Should you have been more patient with him and supported him, even though you hadn’t condoned any of his actions? Had it only been a rough patch and you would have come over it by now?
Those were questions to which you would probably never get an answer. It was all too late now anyway. The papers were signed from your side.
“Jaehyun…” you whispered and wondered whether he had heard it as he suddenly interrupted you with,
“Ah, I’m sorry but you have to leave now.” He arose from the crouch and scratched the back of his head. “I actually have a visitor over the weekend and she’ll arrive soon.”
“She…?”
He nodded with a hint of reluctance.
You couldn’t explain why this revelation hurt almost just as much as the day Jaehyun had opened up about wanting a divorce. You were seeing someone else too, probably for longer than him, but you didn’t want him to be dating anyone else, giving her everything you had been asking of him for so long.
You should be happy for him to have finally changed and wanting to make it better with the next woman he would grow to love. Yet, all you could think about was that he had never been able to give it to you.
You were so selfish.
“Okay,” you said breathlessly and grabbed your purse, moving to the entrance door.
“Hey.” You heard footsteps, and before you could grab the handle, Jaehyun was already holding you back by your arm. “I’ve known you for too long to unsee the fact that you’re upset. And let me tell you, I understand why you’re angry.”
You lowered your head so that he couldn’t read your exact expression. But he didn’t need to. He never needed to. To him, you had always been an open book. “It doesn’t matter anymore, Jaehyun…”
“You’re probably asking yourself why I couldn’t change my job to have more time for you too. Just like I’m asking myself why you couldn’t have been more independent and wouldn’t rely on me only. We’ve both come quite a way, haven't we?”
You took credit for the not independent enough part. After all, since freshman year, you’ve only had Jaehyun. He had been the center of your life, of your universe, and this view had shifted into a toxic direction you never wanted to look into again. You truly had turned codependent at some point, you owed that part.
All that was left to do was not letting these negative traits affect your new relationships. That was a promise you didn’t only need to make to yourselves, but to your new partner, too.
“Do you think… Do you think we could have reached this point too if we had stayed together? This is what we have wanted, right?”
After all, it didn’t matter anymore. But you really wanted to hear this opinion, whether he thought the same.
He admitted, “I don’t think we could have evolved like that if we had stayed together.”
“I think so too.” You shrugged off his grip and pulled down the door handle.
“If you ever need something… I’m always here, okay? Call me, text me, no matter how late, I don’t care. I will always be here for you.”
After all, he was still so good, fair and bright.
It was unfair that you couldn’t offer the same kindness in return. Envy never looked good on anyone.
You switched to a cold business-tone. “My lawyer told me you received the papers already.”
“I did yesterday. I’ll sign them this weekend and pass them on on Monday.”
“See you on Sunday then when I come to pick up Kang Kang.”
And then, you left without another word.
____
“I have a gig tonight, but don’t worry, we can drop off your things first and head right there,” Jaemin declared. “I already told them to start the soundcheck without me.”
“Gig?” Jaemin had picked you up with his car from the train station and you were currently on your way to his house. “I thought we were going to spend the whole weekend… you know, at your place.”
“We will, we will!” he repeated and put his hand on your thigh while the other was still holding onto the steering wheel. “Don’t worry about that. It’s only tonight. Besides… you’ll get to know all my friends and bandmates too, so that’s gonna be fun!”
You should actually be excited about getting involved with his life right off the bat, but you couldn’t help but to feel more anxious about meeting new people when all you wanted to do was to spend a cozy weekend at Jaemin’s place, just the two of you. You wanted to take your sweet time, learning about each other, and only each other, again.
Jaemin had always been an extrovert while you were the complete opposite, and in all these years, this fact hadn’t seemed to have changed at all - just like him always forgetting how hard it was for you to come out of your shell. But you decided that you weren’t going to be hurt over this and see it as a compliment to get introduced to his friends and lifestyle so short into the relationship.
Perhaps, this was also a sign for you to break out of your shell that had only hardened throughout the years you had spent with Jaehyun as he was very similar to you. You couldn’t always live that way and accepted Jaemin offering to show you a new lifestyle.
“I’m looking forward to it!” you exclaimed and shifted your head back to the street, swallowing your anxiety and just hoping it wouldn’t resurface.
____
But it did later that night when you stood by the bar in that very small club, the crowd dancing and singing along to tunes you had never heard before, and you suddenly felt so alone and lost.
Back in the days, Jaemin had also been in a band, just one of many self-formed ones in school, but his band had always been the most popular, because, well, he himself was so popular. And even now, he was remaining true to his image, flirting with the crowd through his mimicry and gestic, radiating a charisma that would have all girls on their knees in front of him if only he asked.
Since he was with you now though, you felt proud and a bit haughty that he was still so popular and you had him all to yourself. But also, on the other hand, you were questioning if the negative feelings from your teen years would resurface…
The irritation when he hadn’t looked at you even once during his performances. The doubts when he had always winked at another girl during his solos. The jealousy when he had eventually talked to said girls after his performances, treating you like air.
But this Jaemin… he was different. Just when he finished and you viciously feared that it all would be repeated again, he passed by the entire crowd, not sparing his female fans even a single glance, and walked straight up to you.
“How was I?” he asked with a beam and you fell happily into his arms.
“Amazing!”
He laughed. “I’m so happy you liked it! Here, let me introduce you to my bandmates.”
So many new faces, but you were feeling welcomed from the very first moment on. There was no need to be anxious about feeling left out and to be nervous about nobody wanting to talk to you. You were having so much fun and everyone wanted to talk to you, wanting to know more about Jaemin’s girlfriend.
You hadn’t known he had already introduced you as such and felt very honored.
“Let’s have a toast!” Jaemin then raised up his shot.
“This will be our fourth toast!” a band member pointed out. “What do we still have to celebrate?”
You felt Jaemin’s strong arm around your shoulder, claiming you in front of all his friends and his entire band. “We’re celebrating her divorce. I’ve waited many years for her to separate from her husband, and now I can have her all to myself, for my entire life!”
You blushed at his loud confession. That didn’t seem like your Jaemin who you had known for so long at all. He had always been openly flirty and charming, but love confessions were never really his thing. Until now, apparently.
“So you want to marry her and spend the rest of her life with her?” someone teased. “What happened to Jaemin and when do we get him back?”
You quickly shook your head and waved aside. “Please, he’s only joking!”
“I’m quite offended you think I’m joking!” Jaemin objected and turned to you to make the conversation more private. “I mean it. We will spend the rest of our lives together. No matter where.”
This had suddenly turned into such an intimate moment, and all of his band mates sensed it which was why they pretended to be occupied with each other.
“You can’t say things like that so casually here!” you chided. “You’re probably drunk.”
“I’m actually quite sober and can think straight, and these thoughts currently always lead me to one desire: I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t care if you marry me or not, I just want you to always be with me. We will make it work. With your job, your dog, and your family. Even if it means I will have to come to you and live in the capital.”
“The Jaemin back then wouldn’t have uttered these words at all. He was always talking about going to America, getting famous with his music…”
“Well, I can still go to America. But with you. And one day, when you decide that you’re ready, even if we’re old and grey, we can get married.”
He then kissed you, and you dared to daydream just a little bit. In one possible future, you actually saw yourself watching your husband, Jaemin, standing on the stage of a big stadium in America while the crowd cheered, but he only had eyes for you who stood in the first row.
One faraway possible future, you didn’t dare to venture in further, because in this one, you were still married and it would take so, so much time until you could actually think of accepting a proposal ever again.
Forgotten was the toast still, and you and Jaemin called it an early night. You were surprised, because back in the days, he would have partied until the sun went up, and longer.
“I want to spend the remaining time with you,” he only said and led you out of the venue by your hand.
Maybe, just like you and Jaehyun, Jaemin had evolved too - to the man you had always needed him to be.
____
The next morning, it had started snowing.
The blanket slipped from your naked shoulder when you arose, the mattress giving in under you as a result of you bracing your hands against the surface. Jaemin was still sleeping soundly next to you. Of course, because a brief look at your phone told you that it was only 7am on a saturday.
Yet, you didn’t want to miss this beautiful, quiet hour and slipped out of the bed. Throwing on Jaemin’s t-shirt from the night before, you walked to the big window that offered a panoramic view of the landscape.
There were only a handful of high rise buildings in his city and no skyscrapers were seen far and wide. The horizon was a bit cloudy, but the beautiful landscape was still recognizable through the falling snow.
You had been to Jaemin’s hometown only once when you were together as teenagers. He had been sent to Seoul to attend a better school and eventually university, but had moved back after his degree.
You loved it here, it was the entire opposite of the bustling and ever lively capital. But living here, you wondered, would you get bored eventually? It was quite the contrary to your personality, but you had always enjoyed your environment being fast and never sleeping while you stood still. It gave you the feeling of never being alone while actually being alone.
A kiss on the back of your neck let you shudder, but in a good way. You giggled and turned around to Jaemin who had his arms wrapped around you now. His muscles were well-built and tense in your grip.
“Look Jaemin, it’s snowing!” you pointed out. “Isn’t it beautiful?”
“Mhhmm,” he muttered, but he didn’t look. “I know a more beautiful view, and it’s also in front of me.”
His voice sounded so sexy when he had just woken up. He embraced you tighter and kissed your temple. “You’re so charming as always.”
Jaemin chuckled. “Why are you up so early already?” he then asked you and gently rocked you in his arms. “You can still sleep.”
“I know, it’s just…” You shrugged. “I want to spend as much time with you here as possible.”
“Oh, does that mean I have to get up now too?” he seemingly wailed. “But what if I don’t want to get out of bed yet? Is there something we can do in bed together?”
You didn’t need to be told twice, but let yourself get carried, with both of your legs hooked around his waist, back to the bed. Letting out a laugh, Jaemin threw you onto the mattress and then crawled on top of you. He was still naked from last night, his muscles flexing nicely in the dim morning light.
You stretched out your arms and placed them around his neck. Gently, you pulled him close to you so that your nose tips touched, and smiled. You wanted to stop time right here and now, and bathe in this intimate moment for a while longer.
Jaemin didn’t know the words ‘enjoy’ and ‘patience’ though as not much later, sweat droplets started to collect on his chest, making his skin glisten with every shift that he performed on top of you. Your breathing came in hitches and caught every time he pushed himself deeper into you.
“You like that?” he whispered into your ear, causing goose bumps to spread all along your neck.
“I lot…” A gasp passed your lips when his wet tongue licked your earlobe.
It had slipped your mind when you had last felt this deeply satisfied. What Jaemin was doing right now even topped the events from last night when you had returned to his apartment, even though you had thought that it was impossible to top that.
You stretched out your legs and placed them around Jaemin’s waist, pushing your hips up.
“Hm?” He raised his head and locked eyes with you, revealing a sneaky smile that was accompanied by a cocked brow to emphasize his feigned surprise. “What’s that? You’re impatient already?”
“It’s you,” you said. “I just can’t get enough.”
Jaemin lowered his head again and started sucking on the side of your neck. You were sure you would be able to see a few faint bruises later on, but it was the time to wear scarves anyway and you wanted him to mark you in every way possible.
Your fingers entangled in his soft hair that then slipped through the gaps between them, and after a few bypassing moments of absolute stillness from his side where you slowly grew even more impatient, Jaemin started to move inside of you again.
When you were a teenager, you had lost your virginity to Jaemin after a few months of dating. He hadn’t been as insecure, nervous and awkward as you, because of course, the most popular boy from the band had already gained experience. And it seemed like he hadn’t lacked keeping to do so.
Or how else did he know to slip out with only the tip remaining so that you could quickly catch your breath, just to thrust back inside you with full force again? You couldn’t help but scream every time he penetrated that sweet spot, and he made sure to hit with every single motion.
The sheets grew wet under you as you were sweating so much, and in the peripheral of your blurry vision, you noticed that it had turned a bit lighter already in the apartment. God, for how long had this been going on, and how much more could you take?
You were already calling out, “Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin!”, mixed with dry screams that only grew more hoarsely, but you couldn’t seem to reach the anticipated release. Whenever you faced him, you only encountered his wicked, charming grin, and were assured that release was nowhere near yet.
Time and space blurred together for you and your mouth hung open, longing for air as he ripped you off it with his thrusts, again and again. The neverending string of a nearing orgasm was always graspable, but remained out of reach as each time, Jaemin took a brief pause by halting his motions and never pulling out entirely.
“Please…”
You didn’t know why he was doing that or where he had even learned to be this skilful to drag it out for so long, and truth to be told, you also didn’t want to know. At this point, you were only worried that he was punishing you on purpose, for dumping him back in the days, and for letting him wait for so long. Fair enough, you accepted this kind of punishment over anything else.
Jaemin drew his face close and licked over your dry lips. “I want to hear you beg.”
You didn’t care anymore at this point. You pressed him close to you, drawing your thighs even tighter around him. “Please, Jaemin!”
“Louder.” A low growl into your ear. But eventually, you felt him moving again.
“Please, Jaemin. PLEASE!”
“Louder!” he summoned.
“JAEMIN, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, I BEG YOU, PLEASE!”
The next moment, it felt like a wave came crashing down over you after trying to swim away from it all this time. It only took Jaemin two more skilled thrusts at the right angle until you let out a long-lasting scream that was on the brink of waking all the neighbors up, but you didn’t care.
You felt your insides clenching around him, your legs shaking in the aftermath while your fingers simultaneously dig deep into his skin as though you were holding onto a lifeline, nails grazing along his back and leaving long marks that would also be visible for quite a time.
Jaemin followed almost directly after you. He was gracious and quiet about it, but you knew him well enough to see that he was still enjoying it a little too much as he revealed himself by a low whimper that he tried to hide in the side of your neck, followed by a long sigh. His arms were shaking as he lost all strength and limply fell on top of you.
Your fingers were still on the back of his head, slowly stroking and comforting him while he was coming down from his heights. Your sweaty chest heaved up and down with Jaemin’s head on top of it.
For a moment, it was silent, only your regular breathing rhythms audible.
In that moment, you wondered when you had last felt this happy.
____
“Are you with Jaemin this weekend?”
Jaehyun’s anger was palpable through the phone. You moved away from the queue, signaling Jaemin that you had to take this call while he was lining up to buy you octopus skewers.
“Uh… I-”
Your still-husband had caught you red-handed and you didn’t know what to answer, because you hadn’t been prepared for this kind of situation. Only now, you realized that it would have been better to not have picked up the call at all when you had seen his name popping up on the display - ‘hubby’ and a heart. You still hadn’t brought yourself to change it to his government name.
“Answer me,” he demanded when your stuttering slowly grew uncomfortable and you settled for a quiet corner to talk to him.
“Jaehyun…”
“Someone sent me a video of his stories from last night and you were in it. I should have known the first thing you’d do would be running to him.”
How was that possible? You didn’t have mutual friends anymore from back then who would have cared enough as all contact had started to dwindle down at some point. And as far as you knew, these two had each other blocked everywhere. Unless they didn’t anymore and Jaehyun was lying to cover up that he had been digging.
“Jaehyun, that’s not fair at all.”
You heard a snort, followed by dead silence, but he didn’t hang up. “When did you want to tell me you were spending the weekend with my best friend?”
Dead silence again, but this time from your side of the line. Eventually, you reproached, “You haven’t been best friends for four years.”
“You told me you weren’t in contact anymore since he tried to creep back into your life even shortly after our marriage and I had to nearly physically fight him when he suddenly stood in front of our door.”
“We weren’t in contact!” you defended yourself. “But he had gotten wind of our separation and then hit me up again. Initially, it was just small talk, how I was doing and dealing with the situation. This is only the third time we've seen each other ever since. I really wasn’t in contact with him all this time, Jaehyun.”
“You never blocked his number or his socials as you had promised or otherwise, how could he have reached you?”
“I did! I told you I did, and I immediately did so back then! He contacted me from another number as he had changed his phone contract. I’ve never lied to you throughout our entire marriage! Don’t doubt me now just for me to fit your narrative, Jaehyun.”
“Hm.” He always let out this sound when he was at a loss for words, but didn’t want to drop the topic just yet. “I see.”
Somewhere in the background you heard Kang Kang and suddenly felt so guilty. Yet, you shrugged it off. You were too happy to get dragged down by his double standards right now. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth about why I wanted to go to Jeonju. But honestly, Jaehyun, you also have a female over this weekend, don’t you?”
“I told you straight-forwardly. Also, she’s not an ex or your best friend, and certainly not my first love.”
He was right. The way you had handled this situation was certainly not pretty or fair at all. Why hadn’t you told him the moment you asked him to take care of Kang Kang?
Perhaps, because Jaemin had always been a threat to your relationship, long before your marriage and after it too. And it had always been your fault, even though you had complied with Jaehyun's requests about blocking and deleting him.
Somehow though, whenever Jaemin wanted to find you, he always did. And he was lucky to now have found you at a time where you had wanted to be found as well.
“Jaehyun…”
He let out a long breather and you imagined him shaking his head at this very moment. “I’m sorry, I don’t even know why I’m calling. I just thought… It’s not even my right anymore to know who you’re with and what you’re doing, but… really, him out of all people?”
“Jaehyun…”
He hadn’t been in Jaemin’s band, but in the same class. You had always seen him around, but never interacted as you had rarely hung out with Jaemin’s friends. He hadn’t wanted that. And when you had finally had enough of his shenanigans after suffering in your on-off relationship for two years, you moved on in university - with your ex’s best friend who had happened to be the complete opposite, and everything you’d ever asked for.
In the beginning, you had tried to keep it a secret, but eventually came clean with Jaemin after a few months, who had reacted in a very mature way. Or so you had thought. You didn’t want to be friends with him as you rarely saw him anyway, but you let them be friends. Eventually, you warmed up to this new dynamic as Jaemin had once been a huge part of your life too. Nothing had seemed weird at first and Jaemin seemingly was okay with it.
Until it all went downhill.
“Do you remember the day you told him we were engaged?” Jaehyun then asked.
Of course you remembered. Jaemin hadn’t let his true emotions slip, he hadn’t thrown a tantrum, he hadn’t said anything more than,
“Good luck. But you won’t be married for too long, because she’ll be mine again.”
And ever since then, best friends Jaehyun and Jaemin had never spoken a word to each other again.
It was eerie and sad how this prediction had eventually turned out to be true.
“I chose you, because you are kind, dedicated and warm, Jaehyun. Jaemin was fickle, unreliable and unfaithful, yes, but we were almost still kids! He’s changed.”
“That’s what you also said when I was in the army and he tried to test the waters with you again. That he’s changed, when you went back to him shortly. And look how that ended.”
“Are you bringing this up again? We were never involved in that sense again! You were in the boot camp and could only text me for one hour on the weekend, I felt lonely and we wanted to meet up as friends! I was young and stupid, how many times do you still want to hear it?”
“... And he never turned up.”
You bit into your lower lip. If you didn’t know it better, Jaehyun was hurt and jealous. But there was seriously no room for him to feel this way anymore. You were separated and it was only a matter of days until it was official. You didn’t even need to talk to him right now, but somehow, you also couldn’t bring yourself to just hang up.
“This time, he did turn up. Among many other things.”
Only then did you realize that tears were pricking behind your eyes. In your peripheral, you could watch Jaemin ordering the skewers already, he was not supposed to see you cry.
“And you know that from a day of spending with him?”
“You know, I don’t have to justify myself in front of you, Jaehyun.”
‘If you still love me, then say it out loud!’ that was what you wanted to tell him. You wanted to grab him by his shoulders, shake him and ask him why he hadn’t told you so earlier. Why Jaemin had to come in between you again for him to finally open his mouth.
At the other side of the line, it had suddenly turned quiet.
“Are you sure about it?” you whispered into your phone. “About the divorce.”
“What is this about?” Jaehyun almost seemed angry now. “We’ve talked about it over and over again. This is for the best.”
“Then stop bothering me!”
Finally, you hung up and took a deep breather. Wiping a tear from your cheek with the back of your hand, you turned your head against the sky. It was still snowing, and the flakes melted immediately on your hot cheeks.
“Everything alright?” Jaemin asked when he had reached you. “Did something happen?”
You shook your head and accepted the skewer he was holding out to you. “No, nothing. Let’s go.”
____
Jaemin rolled his head back, his mouth falling agape.
“Yes, just like that.”
You felt his fingertips grazing over the back of your head, and then, with a firm tug, he had your hair between his fingers, tightly pulling on it. You swallowed a pained squeal, but the discomfort passed quickly as you realized it even added up to the sensation of sucking Jaemin off.
You let it slip past your mouth, only trapping the upper part between your lips, and then halted. With the tip of your tongue, you pressed down into the slit where you already tasted his sticky precum. You smiled when you heard him groan.
This time though, Jaemin didn’t let you get away with teasing him so easily. He pushed your head down his length, and as you didn’t have time to prepare yourself for this sudden action, you almost choked at him hitting the back of your throat.
You weren’t trained in deep throating at all, the only time you had tried, you had wanted to gag so badly. Even now, it wasn’t really a cakewalk for you to suppress the reflex. But as you turned your gaze up and caught Jaemin stretched out gloriously on the couch, enjoying it with angelic moans, you gladly complied, no matter the circumstances.
Jaemin set the rhythm with his fingers still entwined in your hair. He pulled on your strands and lifted your head up his length just to slam you all the way down again until you nearly met his pelvis with your lips. It took you three tries to get rid of the gag reflex and another two to adjust to this submissive act.
“Now, suck it.”
You happily did so as it meant having a break from the excessive motions earlier, and only dedicated yourself to the upper half, sucking him off like a lollipop. You also used your tongue with which you teased him again by letting it glide over the smoothest part, just passing the frenulum. The sound he let out as a result was the loudest you had ever heard pass his lips during an intimate act.
“What was that?” he asked almost breathlessly, and looked down at you.
“You like it?” you wanted to know shyly.
“I love it!” he exclaimed and laughed. “Do it again!”
You felt Jaemin releasing himself into your mouth without a warning not much later, though you felt it pumping past your circled lips. Patiently, you waited until he was done and only let him slip out of your mouth then, falling back into a crouch and wiping over your stained mouth.
With a smirk, Jaemin patted the top of your head, then dropped his hand and angled your chin with his index finger. You faced each other, and you observed his expression changing.
“Now, your turn?” he asked with a bit of danger in his voice.
You swallowed, but didn’t hold him back. You were in for a wild ride.
That was until Jaemin’s phone rang and he needed to interrupt your act. You wanted him to ignore it, but he had already told you beforehand that he was expecting an important call. Just talk about timing…
You wondered what it could be about when you arose after Jaemin had left the room to go to another and take the call. It was kind of a long conversation as you only remembered how you went on to lie in bed, mindlessly scrolling through your phone and losing track of time. The next moment, when Jaemin came out again, it was already dark.
You were standing by the window now, the snow still hadn’t stopped falling. As a matter of fact, it was snowing even harder, and you wondered whether by tomorrow morning, the snow would have put a white blanket over the whole country.
“What happened?” you asked, unsure what to read out of Jaemin’s undefined expression.
That was until he broke out into a beam, closed the short distance between you and swept you off your feet. He had his hands placed under your ribs and swung you around with your feet dangling above the floor.
You laughed and asked, after he had placed you down again, “Will you tell me what happened now?”
“Great news!” Jaemin declared with your hands remaining in his. “That was a producer who’s called me. I’ve been sending demos to different companies for years now, and finally this one is interested in my music! The producer wants to meet me tomorrow, isn’t it great?!”
“Oh, Jaemin! That’s amazing to hear!”
“I know, right?I have to prepare a few things for tomorrow since I have to drive to Gwangju where the company is located, do you mind?” He suddenly drew his brows together and looked very concerned. “I know we had dinner plans, but…”
You immediately shook your head. Of course, disappointment sank into your stomach as you had especially looked forward to this fancy dinner with him. It was your last night together as you were supposed to go home the next day, but another part, a bigger part, didn’t want to be so selfish. She knew that music had always been Jaemin’s dream, and if he could make it his main occupation, who were you to stop him?
“I’m gonna make up for it!” he immediately apologized, led your hand to his mouth and kissed your knuckles. “Tomorrow, fancy brunch or lunch before you leave?”
You nodded, very well aware of the fact that knowing Jaemin for the passionate man that he was, neither brunch or lunch would take place tomorrow. Somehow, it was all high school again, but you were more mature now and there was no room for your own, selfish needs.
Jaemin let go of you and dedicated himself to his music station where he gathered together a few documents. “Imagine,” he then summoned, “if it’s really going to work out and I am really going to be big with my band, we could play so many shows or even do a tour - maybe internationally too! And I would take you with me of course! To America!”
“Jaemin, I have a dog to take care of and a job I’m really dedicated to, you know that. I cannot be on the road for months.” Had he forgotten the words from last night where he had offered to move to the capital for you? Had your wants been overshadowed by his daydreams once again like back in the days?
“Oh yeah…” He scratched the back of his head, but then beamed again. “Don’t worry, we’ll find a solution!”
Again, he was proposing something so far off into the future without asking what you wanted. Aside from the fact that you liked living a domestic life with a stable job and a routine, you didn’t want to be separated from your dog. Or your family, especially your grandmother yet.
And that was what Jaemin didn’t get… again. Just like the fact that you couldn’t think of another marriage already when you were still with one foot inside your current one.
He was impulsive, dreamy and so demanding. But this was what you had wanted, right? Someone to take things into his own hands and consider you in his future, whether you fit in or not.
“Yes, we’ll find a solution,” you eventually replied as he was expecting an answer. And who knew, perhaps you would really find one.
Jaemin turned back to this work and rambled on about how great of a life you two would have together.
Would you, though?
Your current life as it was, was already perfect for you. Just the man in it hadn’t been.
____
With shaking hands, you swiped over your phone screen until, from your blurry vision, you finally saw your husband’s name pop up. Hubby and a heart next to it. You still hadn’t changed it, and for now, you were glad for that as it had made finding his contact easier.
It was only 7am on a sunday, but you knew Jaehyun would pick up no matter how early or late, no matter what, regardless of your dispute from the day before. He had promised.
“Grandmother is in the hospital,” you cried into the phone the moment the ringing stopped. “And I- I can’t go back. I-I don’t have a car and I’m in J-Jeonju, the trains are not running because of the heavy snowfall and I don’t know how to get back, how to get to my grandmother. Jaehyun… C-can you-”
It was rustling on the other line and from your peripheral, you could see Jaemin watching you with a displeased face.
No questions asked. Jaehyun’s voice was still so deep and raspy as you had just woken him up, but his head was as clear as ever. “Send me the address, I’ll take the car and come pick you up.”
“Th-there is snow everywhere! It’ll probably take hours.”
He didn’t ask why Jaemin wouldn’t drive you or why Jaehyun himself should do this even though you were separated. At this moment, none of this mattered except the fact that he needed to bring you to your grandmother.
“I don’t care.” There was some noise on his end of the line, and you could have sworn you also heard a female whispering something, but none of this mattered. “I’ll get going now and will text you the estimated arrival time.”
He didn’t care about the weather, the amounts of snow blocking the streets, whether he would even get through the traffic, none of this mattered.
“Thank you,” you whispered through your sobs.
It was like he still wanted to say something, but only brought himself to end the call with, “See you.”
Jaemin waited for you to finish typing the address for Jaehyun first before he spoke up. “I wish I could change things.”
“You can!” you yelled at him, having suppressed your anger for an hour already.
At 6am, you had been unexpectedly awakened by a call from your mother that held unfortunate news you never wished upon anyone to ever receive: Your grandmother was in the hospital as she had fallen in the bathroom that night and had been unconscious for a few hours before she could call anyone for help.
And Jaemin’s reaction?
He fell into silence again.
“You can change things, but you don’t want to,” you repeated through tears and fled out of the bed as you couldn’t physically bear being close to him anymore.
“That’s not it…” His feeble attempts to defend himself were all to no avail as expected. “It’s just a once in a lifetime chance, if I need to cancel, I might not be able to…”
“My grandmother can also live just this lifetime! I only have her for one lifetime,” you hissed, not sparing him a single glance as you started to throw your belongings into your bag. “She’s fighting for her life in the hospital and you think your music appointment is more important than driving me there? It’s only in the evening, and you’re worried you won’t make it back to your appointment on time, because of the snow?”
“We called your parents and the hospital already.” His voice got louder, more determined now, though it was nothing compared to yours. “She’s fine. You can probably take the train by midday, maybe even forenoon, anyway. I’m just being realistic.”
“You just don’t get it, don’t you? Probably because no one has ever been this important to you.”
The moment you had spoken the words out loud, you already regretted it, but an apology refused to pass your lips as Jaemin only said,
“You are this important to me.”
“I don’t believe you as you cannot even do this for me.”
His music was more important, his career and everything connected to it. It would always, always come first, and this was something that was never going to change, and had never changed, you saw it clearly now.
Your relationship in your adulthood was merely a projection of what it had already been in high school.
Nothing had changed.
____
Jaehyun picked you up from a nearby café four hours later.
You had directly left Jaemin’s apartment the moment you had gathered all your belongings and hadn’t looked back - neither had he. He hadn’t changed his mind about the situation and he hadn’t tried to hold you back, no matter how much you had wished for it.
You were standing in front of the café, still in your joggers and with tousled hair, freezing to your bones as the snow touched your naked ankles, but at least Jaehyun was here, regardless of the weather, his appointments and the time.
He was here.
He had always been here.
You had just been too blind to see it.
The moment he opened the car door at your side, you broke out into tears again, unable to move, and it caused him to actually get out of the car himself to then approach you.
Suddenly, it got so warm around you despite the weather, and even with your teary eyes closed you realized that Jaehyun had pulled you into an embrace. With his slender fingers, he brushed over the back of your head in a comforting gesture as you sobbed into his jacket.
“Your grandmother will be fine,” he whispered into your hair, unaware of the fact that you were currently not crying over your grandmother anymore, but over the fact that he was here regardless of how ridiculous it might sound.
He had made it through the snow chaos and traffic just to bring you home safely. If this wasn’t what your marriage vows had been about, then what was? Was that what your grandmother had been talking about?
You had two hours to think about it as you made your way back to the capital. There were many things you wanted to ask Jaehyun. How serious it was with that woman, if she was mad he had suddenly left her for his soon-to-be ex-wife and if he himself was mad that he was here now. But first and foremost…
“Why did you come?”
“I told you, you could always call me. No matter how late… or early in this case, I’ll always be there. Despite that, I care about your grandmother and your entire family, too. For a large part of my life, they were also my family.”
“They will always be, Jaehyun.”
“I know.”
His gaze was too focused on the street ahead of you as though it was taking him everything in his might to just keep his eyes averted from you. The majority of the snow had been cleared from the streets already so that cars could drive without many obstacles again.
“Are you sure about it?” you repeated from your disrupted phone call the day before. “Are you sure about the divorce?”
“Why does it matter?” he asked back strictly. “Haven’t you moved on with my former best friend already, this time for good, because he’s changed so much?”
“That’s not an answer, Jaehyun.”
You had no reason to feel so attacked, but it still hurt, because he was wrong, even though Jaehyun didn’t know it yet. Jaemin hadn’t changed at all, and you were too proud to admit it. Perhaps though, you had overreacted as well. Perhaps, everything would have gone so well if only you had been calmer and more rational, and had actually listened to Jaemin. Perhaps, you had done Jaemin so wrong.
But Jaehyun was now in the car, driving you back home, and not Jaemin, right? Jaehyun was here, and not Jaemin.
“On the way to Jeonju,” he started, “I had a few hours to think about everything. Have we given it all? Was a divorce really our last solution? What could I have done differently, what could you have differently for us to avoid this outcome. And I just… couldn’t come up with an answer.
“Which means, on the contrary, perhaps a divorce was not a solution either,” you concluded. “But we’ve lived in separation for half a year at that point, Jaehyun. And we were fine with it. We’ve had many talks, so why are we here, ripping open this wound again? What’s the purpose? I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that it only took one weekend for us to doubt this decision.”
“Perhaps, there is none,” he said, and shrugged. “Perhaps, it’s all about what makes us happy, after all. And finding out you lied to me and spent the weekend with him, didn’t make me happy at all.”
Now that he was so honest with you, you could be honest with him too. “I also wasn’t happy when you told me you would get a female visitor this weekend.”
A long pause followed the conversation before you confessed,
“But you picking up the phone and being here with me now, makes me really happy.”
“Yeah,” he agreed quietly, “I’m also happy you called me and didn’t rely on him.”
He didn’t ask what exactly had happened with Jaemin, and you also didn’t ask him about the other woman when you arrived at his empty home much later that day to pick up your dog after having visited your grandmother together first.
She didn’t get hurt except for a bruise by her hip and would be fine after being taken care of in the hospital for a few days. You visited her every day for one week straight, but on neither of these days did you see Jaehyun or Jaemin.
The fact that you were disappointed would be an understatement, but you were too caught up with everything going on at this point that you couldn't waste too many unnecessary thoughts in their behaviors.
____
A week later, you and your mother returned home with your grandma. Despite her refusing your offer, you had still insisted on taking one week off from work and living with her, just in case something could happen again and until she regained her health.
Nevertheless, you as a family had all agreed on hiring a caretaker that would look after her half a day and who would start right after your week off with her. After a few attempted protests from your grandma’s side though, she had eventually given in as well.
“Where’s all the food I requested?” you asked in astonishment as you opened shelf after shelf in your grandmother’s kitchen, but each of them you found empty. “Didn’t father and uncle do grocery shopping? I made an entire list for them and they knew she’d return today.”
“Oh, they were busy last night,” your mother explained after she had taken your grandmother to her bedroom. “They’ll do it later today.”
You rolled your eyes as you tried to fight the wave of reproach against your family. “Busy with watching football all night long probably. What did they think would happen when we came back home with grandmother? There are no ingredients to make food for her and when I looked into the bathroom, she had also run out of toilet paper. What were they thin-”
“Honey…” Your mom placed her hands on your shoulders to calm you down, but somehow, her not getting as heated up as you was making you even more disappointed. Were you the only one who cared? “Please be reassured that everything is going to be fine.”
“How?” you asked back, a tinge of anger in your voice. “We come back and the sheets are not washed, we have nothing we can make food of for her and we cannot even-”
Your mom exhaled deeply as she tried to convince you again, “Let’s just order the most important necessities online, okay? Then your father and uncle will bring the rest later today, it’s really not a big deal.”
“Sweetheart, will you come here, please?” you heard your grandmother suddenly disrupt your conversation.
You let out a long sigh, threw another glare at your mom and then left for the bedroom.
“I’m sorry, grandma,” you apologized as you popped into her bedroom with your head first. “I will go to the store right now to bring you the necessities. You don’t need to worry about this, please relax.”
“I do not worry about this,” she reassured you. “I feel so fine here. And you do not need to worry that much either, it’s all going to be fine.”
“No,” you cried out and shook your head, tears welling up on the brim of your eyes. All your feelings came crashing down on you at once, feelings that you had tried to push aside for an entire week. “Nothing is ever going to be fine again!”
You sat down by her bedside and dropped your head. Her soft, warm hand found your fingers and gave them a comforting squeeze. “Is this about your husband?”
“Yes,” you admitted, and ‘no’ you wanted to say simultaneously as this wasn’t about your husband alone. Perhaps, now ex-husband on official papers even. “Why did he never show up again after going to the hospital with me the first day? I thought… he still cared, not only about me, but about you too. I’m so disappointed. I thought he was different.”
The last sentence was dedicated to both of them, though you confessed silently to yourself that you had never expected this from Jaehyun, out of the two.
“But dear… he did come.”
You lifted your head and wiped away a tear that had dangled on the corner of your eye as you faced your grandmother with much surprise. “What are you saying, grandma?”
“He came every single day in the morning before work, we talked for half an hour when I was awake. I thought you knew?”
You had no idea, and looking at your grandma now, who was grinning widely and also a bit sneakily, made you assume that perhaps, she had kept it a secret on purpose - because the effect, when you found out, would be so much more impactful.
And it was.
“Grandma, I had no idea…”
“That’s why I asked you, before you decided to separate, did you really give it your all and tried everything possible to fix your marriage before moving on? Because, as far as I can see, you’re not the only one not ready to do so entirely.”
“I… I can’t say. I don’t know. And it doesn’t matter anymore, grandma,” you eventually said. “Even if we both wanted it, it’s too late. He has probably already signed the papers and sent them out.”
“Fine. But don’t forget my words. If, at some point in your life, you realize that you have made the wrong decision, don’t hesitate for a single second and tell him.” She leaned back into the pillows. “It’s almost afternoon, I want to sleep. Can you close the door behind you then, dear?”
“Of course.” You gave her a kiss on the forehead and quietly walked out of her room.
Back in the kitchen, you saw your mom sitting at the table, scrolling through her phone. Why was she not up and about yet to do some grocery shopping or at least call your father to do the trip? You were fed up by now, fueled by your grandmother’s words too.
“Mom, I’m going to the store and I’ll take your car.”
“Okay.”
That was it. You knew she had had a lot on her plate too, but why did everyone not take this situation seriously enough?
When you put on your jacket as it was freezing outside, you wondered whether you were overreacting and just putting all your time and energy into this situation, moving here and taking care of things, just so you didn’t need to think about how your own life was falling apart. As long as you could take care of someone else, you didn’t need to face your own problems. Hadn’t this been the root of your downfall as well?
After all, when you returned home after this week, you would get a call from your lawyer to confirm that the divorce was through. You had specifically requested for him not to call while you were here.
What then, after that? Then, you were a divorced woman, and you weren’t ready to settle with this term yet.
“Careful!”
You nearly ran into a tall figure when you opened the entrance door. A familiar scent touched your nose, strong hands holding you by your arms so that you could keep your balance after the impact.
“What are you doing here?” you asked Jaehyun as your gaze simultaneously scanned his appearance, and you spotted two big bags of groceries to either of his sides on the floor.
“I thought since your grandmother would come home today, you would need a helping hand,” he stated and pointed at the grocery bags. You saw toilet paper, rice, water, and other necessities peeking out. “I didn’t know what to buy, so I just brought a bit of everything. Is that… okay?”
You couldn’t help yourself but fell into his arms, hot tears streaming down your cheeks. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulder, and suddenly, this entire situation didn’t seem so difficult and hopeless anymore.
You had felt so left alone, like you had overreacted and that your feelings weren’t valid. But now your husband was here, having shown up in ways nobody else was. Your feelings were valid, they had always been to him.
Perhaps, your grandmother had been right all along.
No, you hadn’t tried everything possible, because this clearance came way too late now, and you couldn’t apologize anymore for sometimes being a selfish, spoiled brat that had demanded much more from her husband than he was able to give. And always, you had wanted more and more.
Your views on life and the way you wanted to live it had started to take separate roads and you had thought this was not fixable anymore, but was that really what mattered after all?
It wasn’t about who was there for you all the time. Your problems couldn’t have been solved in that way either. That was why it couldn’t have worked out with Jaemin too. It wasn’t about this at all.
It was about who showed up during the times you truly needed someone. And it was always Jaehyun. When you needed support, a helping hand or someone to call during an emergency, he had always been there.
If you needed someone at all times, it could be anyone. But if you needed someone when times were hard, it was Jaehyun.
It had always been Jaehyun.
“Your grandma is going to be fine,” Jaehyun whispered and gently patted the back of your head.
But you weren’t crying over your grandmother anymore, but about your failed marriage.
Because yes, you regretted it deeply and had not given it your all.
Because now, it was too late.
Neither of you spoke about the divorce papers that day.
____
Jaehyun didn’t come over anymore and neither did you reach out to him during the week you lived with your grandmother.
You were determined to make it on your own from then on. Very soon, you were an official divorcée and single dog mom, so it was better to start early with this new lifestyle. Knowing you too well, Jaehyun might have already sensed it as he was leaving you completely alone during that time.
You brought Kang Kang with you to live and thus your days started with walking your dog before helping your grandmother get ready and preparing breakfast that you eventually ate together just like the other meals. Even though your grandmother was still able to do most things by herself, you noticed how slower, shakier and sometimes disoriented she had become.
Time was not stopping, for nobody.
During the day you were occupied with doing chores, taking care of paperwork as well as your grandmother and Kang Kang. At the end of each day, you fell into your bed, absolutely exhausted and tired. Your mind was always occupied as well and there was no space for other things except for those brief moments during nighttime when you were alone and neither busy in a physical way or in your mind.
Then, you stared at the ceiling and wept.
Because you missed Jaehyun so badly and wished for him to be with you. You would have done anything for him to be here right now, but your marriage was over and you needed to move on without him.
Everyday with this realization was hard, but luckily, no day grew harder than the day before. Eventually, they would only grow brighter.
That was your silver lining.
____
Realizing that you wanted to be with Jaehyun after all, meant in retrospect that you couldn’t be with Jaemin. And just because you couldn’t be with Jaehyun, didn’t mean you should be with Jaemin. That was not how it worked, unfortunately.
“Hey, it’s me,” you spoke on the phone, watching the skyline from your window the first night you had returned to your home.
He had promised to always pick up when you called, but this time, he hadn’t. You were struggling to come to terms with the fact that he indeed didn’t want to be reached by you either this time. Perhaps, not anymore at all.
You remembered why you had married Jaehyun.
You had married him, because he took care of the people he loved, because he made things seem more bearable when they weren’t and because when he said he would pick up whenever you called, he actually did. That was not a void Jaemin could just fill.
You would always search for a Jaehyun in his eyes, and that was not fair, because he was not. He was Jaemin, an entirely different person. And there was a person out there that would be perfect for him, too.
“I just wanted to tell you that this is the last time you will ever hear from me.” Softly, Kang Kang was snoring in the corner, filling the pause that then followed.
Maturing was realizing that just because you wanted to be with someone, you shouldn’t be with them. Maturing was realizing that only because you didn’t want to be alone, you should be with someone. Maturing was realizing that even on the third try, some people still weren’t meant to be together.
Tears sprang from your eyes, but your voice gave no hint of it. “Truth to be told, I am very disappointed that you never showed up again… called me, or at least sent a message, asked me how we are. It was a very hard time for me and you just… weren’t there.”
But someone else had been. You dried your cheeks with the back of your hand.
“Yes, I could have messaged or called you too… but why should I have when I was the one suffering? Admittedly, I also didn’t need to. I handled it all myself very well. That made me realize… I wanted this, Jaemin. I wanted this so much, with you. But I didn’t need it. I don’t need you. And the past weeks made me realize that you feel the same. You don’t need me either.”
You could live without Jaehyun and you could live without Jaemin, you just had to be strong enough to make it on your own now that you had neither.
And you would make it on your own.
You had the drive, passion and strength all within you, you just had failed to notice for so long. After all, you had been able to take care of your grandmother, dog and everyone around you for the past weeks. So taking care of yourself wouldn’t be harder than that.
Had you broken down and experienced weak moments? Yes, several times. But that had only made you stronger.
“I’m strong and not afraid, I will always make it on my own. And you will make it too. Go out into the world, perhaps even travel to America where you always wanted to go, make your dream about music come true… I wish for you to achieve everything you’ve ever wanted, with my whole heart.” You swallowed hard and added, “It’s just not going to be with me. I don’t know where my place is yet, but it’s not by your side.”
For now, your best companion was yourself. And your dog. And actually, that was enough.
You finished speaking on the mailbox with, “Goodbye, Jaemin.”
You didn’t hesitate to delete his number and block him all across social media. This time, for good.
The fact that you cried yourself to sleep that night would be your own little secret to keep, but it would also be the very last time you would find yourself in a position to cry over Jaemin, ever.
The next morning, you felt free. The air was clear and crisp. It was cloudy, but not snowing. Thank god.
____
“I apologize for having to tell you this, but Mr. Jeong hasn’t signed the divorce papers.”
“Pardon me?”
It had been a dreadful feeling to take the call from your lawyer the next morning. The more surprised you were about the actual message he had just passed down to you. Your breath caught.
“His lawyer told me he refuses to sign them and sent them back to me unsigned, that’s why I couldn’t send them to you yet.”
You frowned as you suddenly turned utterly confused. “But why? What did he say? Is there something he still wants to negotiate over?”
“They didn’t tell me, just that he refuses to sign them. I’ll resolve this for you, be at ease.”
“Don’t,” you held him back. “I’ll do it myself.”
“You’re not allow-”
But you had already hung up and were halfway out of the door, he didn’t even come to end his sentence.
____
Not even an hour later, you were standing in front of Jaehyun’s apartment door, ringing the bell like a maniac. He looked at you like he had expected you already as you stood in front of him with your arms folded in front of your chest.
“Took you long enough.”
“Care to explain to me why you sent the documents back unsigned?”
“Come inside,” he invited you calmly.
Your eyes narrowed. “Your girlfriend doesn't mind?”
“We haven’t seen each other since that weekend… and I rather want it to stay this way.”
Your heart jumped. That basically meant they weren’t together anymore, you concluded as you followed him into his apartment and took your shoes off in the corridor.
“What about Jaemin?”
“Same.”
It seemed that you both didn’t want to talk about your past lovers, and even though you were curious, if he had to elaborate, then you needed to as well, and there was no way you would ever want to live through the past weeks again.
“I was thinking about our conversation in the car back from Jeonju,” he began as he shifted around to face you the moment you arrived in the living room, “about what makes me happy. When we were separated, we didn’t see each other, and I was happy living a life I haven’t gotten a taste of before. I was happy doing new stuff, trying out new things, being untied from you. Because what made me unhappy… was you.”
Your eye twitched as you didn’t know whether you should feel offended now. But when you let the words sink in and contemplated them, you felt exactly the same. Seeing and spending time with your husband had dreaded you of all your energy and happiness as you two had forgotten how to be happy together anymore.
And you told him exactly that now.
“I agree.” He nodded. “And then I thought about what made me really unhappy. Because up until two weeks ago, I was really happy. And then came you, and you made me feel so miserable.”
You drew your brows together, not quite sure if you had heard right. But you had, and it stung. No, it actually hurt very much that it took all your might to refrain yourself from crying right now. “I… still make you unhappy?”
But Jaehyun’s facial expression didn’t match his words as he nodded. His features were soft, a slight smile playing around his lips. There was no way he could find this amusing?
“It makes me unhappy to see you unhappy. It makes me unhappy to see you suffering because of your grandmother and simultaneously getting mistreated by the guy who is supposed to make you happy. Because if he can’t do it, who will? I was just too blind to see this.”
You dropped your gaze. Jaehyun had. He had shown up in ways nobody else ever had. Just to… see you happy, because he couldn’t stand the thought of you being sad and miserable?
Knowing he was pushing so far, he didn’t wait for you to reply, but instead wanted to know, “What makes you unhappy?”
“When you’re not with me.”
With slow steps, he approached you until he stood tall and calm in front of you. You lifted your head and looked into his clear and sincere eyes.
“Please don’t ask me what will make me happy, Jaehyun,” you pleaded him straight-forwardly. “Because I’m not sure whether you’d like the answer.”
“What if I’d like to hear it?”
You furrowed in worry. “At all cost?”
Jaehyun inhaled sharply as though in tension, but his soft features remained.
“What if you don’t like it?” you asked.
“You will never know if you don’t try, right?”
‘If, at some point in your life, you realize that you have made the wrong decision, don’t hesitate for a single second and tell him.’ You remembered your grandmother’s words too well.
He didn’t expect it though when you threw your arms around his neck and pulled him down to you.
He still tasted exactly like in your memories.
____
“Are you excited, Kang Kang?”
Your dog yelped and ran around in circles. You patted his head when he eventually came to a standstill in front of you and looked up to you with big eyes.
“Are you excited to live with your dad again?”
As though in response, Kang Kang started to whirl around again and you laughed. Lately, you found yourself laughing very often, and every time it came from deep within you with all sincerity and happiness.
In the past two weeks, your grandmother had started to settle with her new caretaker so that you could cut down your visits to once or twice a week, because you were currently busy moving houses. But each time, Jaehyun came with you, and your grandmother was overjoyed.
You had decided to move into a new home together that wasn’t riddled with memories of a very unpleasant phase in your marriage that had almost ended it for good. It was just as big and beautiful as this apartment, but you had already agreed that that one would only be a temporary home as well.
Maybe, not too far in the future, you could move outside of the city where Kang Kang would have a garden to run around in and where he would have playmates, maybe both, a boy and girl.
You blushed at the thought and looked at the engagement ring and wedding band that you had been wearing again since the day you had found out that your husband had never signed the divorce papers.
Just because you could make it on your own didn’t mean you wanted and needed to. After all, you had given a vow to each other, because somewhere in the past, you were so happy, you had agreed on spending the rest of your lives with each other. And that meant something, so much more than anyone not married could imagine.
You weren’t walking down the aisle thinking you’re going to get divorced. You got married, because this was supposed to be forever.
Yes, it was right that it took much less to turn “Till death do us part” into “Till your lack of time for me do us part”, but unlike the worst case scenario, everything else was fixable.
The movers were busy carrying down the last boxes with your stuff while you put Kang Kang on a leash. Looking around your old apartment for one last time, you bid farewell to this home of yours that not only bore bliss, but also destruction. But you had come out of it stronger, better than before.
You wouldn’t say that all your differences were now solved by deciding to get back together. Love alone couldn’t magically make them disappear, that was not how it worked. But you had talked long about this, what you needed to get back to where you had once been.
You had thought of your grandmother’s words every so often. No, you had not given it all yet, you eventually had to admit to her personally too, and she had only smiled, as though in knowing. Jaehyun and you both still had, apart from love of course, the passion, the determination, the strength. And hope.
As long as there was that, your marriage was fixable.
And this time, you would make sure nothing would do you part again.
“The movers are ready, so we should get to the car. Here, let me take Kang Kang.”
Your heart was full of love and hope too when Jaehyun appeared at your door with a smile and took the leash from you after giving you a kiss on your cheek.
Jaehyun was a husband who took care of things, so that you wouldn’t need to. Wasn’t this what marriage was about? Making each other’s lives easier and happier, because life itself was already hard enough.
Your grandmother had realized this very early. What a woman.
You didn’t think of Jaemin that often anymore. Only every now and then, he involuntarily crossed your mind and tugged on your heartstrings as a strong memory that day by day slowly faded, too. His face became blurry when you tried to remember his exact features, and eventually, he would only be a flash of a picture among a string of memories when you thought back to this time. As it had always been.
The only difference was that you had shut down every possibility of reaching out on either side. When you caught yourself wanting to unblock him and look him up on social media, you put your phone aside and let the feeling pass. It really worked wonders.
And one day, even this urge would perish.
When you stepped onto the streets that were still layered with a thin sheen of snow and ice, you noticed that the sun was shining and a touch of spring lingered in the air. The temperature would start to get warmer soon as well.
Your husband helped Kang Kang into the back of the car before he circled it and opened the door for you. And that was it, the huge difference. So subtle, but so grave all at once, it nearly made your heart burst.
“Are you ready to go home?” Jaehyun asked.
And finally, you answered, “Yes, I really want to go home.”
Winter was still here, but in your heart, it was already summer when your husband took your hand.
You wanted rays of sunshine, warm breezes, salt on your skin and the chanting of crickets.
You wanted it to always be summer.
You wanted your husband.
____
One month prior
Jaemin had followed you all the way back to Seoul that very same day your grandmother had been admitted to the hospital, ditching the biggest opportunity in his entire life after all.
After he had seen you so disappointed and sad, mostly because of him, your expression hadn’t left his mind for hours. When it dawned on him what he was doing to you, letting you down in a very crucial situation, he wanted to beat himself up for being such a selfish idiot once again and had directly made his way to the café where you had fled to. But when he had arrived, you were already gone.
Following you all the way to Seoul, he had been thinking of all the ways he could make it up to you. He had booked a hotel in the city and prepared to stay there for as long as you needed him. But when he had arrived, he saw you in front of the hospital and you weren’t alone.
You had been with your husband and he had held you close as you cried in his arms, he had seen it all from his car.
He was too late again, he had thought. But when he had looked closer, the way Jaehyun was holding you and consoling you, he knew that timing wasn’t the problem, it had never been.
You couldn’t be hugged like this by anyone. Jaemin couldn’t embrace you the way Jaehyun did, and it turned out to be a painful realization for him. It couldn’t be him, it also couldn’t be anyone else. It had to be Jaehyun.
It had always been Jaehyun.
___
“May I come in?”
Jaemin stood in front of Jaehyun’s door later that fateful day after you had left with your dog, facing his former best friend in person for the first time in many years.
Occasionally, he would look at his social media after he had found out on a random day that Jaehyun had unblocked him and vice versa. Somehow, they still wanted to know what the other was up to, who they were up to with. The irony of that.
Jaehyun remained quiet, but pushed the door open for him.
“Why are you here?” Jaehyun then asked him when they reached the living room. “She’s not here.”
“I know,” Jaemin answered. “I came for you.”
“So?” He braced his arm against the table and leaned back. “The invitations for the tea party are not out yet.”
“There is no need to be so condescending.” At this point, Jaemin was just so tired and wanted to leave this all behind him. “After today, I will be out of your lives, forever.”
“Sounds tempting. But as you know, we will be officially divorced soon, so she’s all yours to have.”
“But I’m not the one she needs.”
Jaehyun drew his brow together. “You’re the one she wants to be with.”
He smiled mildly and repeated, “But I’m not the one she needs. We don’t need to be together a fourth time to figure this out. You show up in ways I will never be able to, you’re the one she needs, even if she doesn’t see it yet.”
“Well… you’re too late.” Jaehyun shrugged. “I’ll sign the papers and will send them to my lawyer tomorrow. You think she’s some puppet you can toss around when you’re done playing just to pick her up again when it’s convenient for you? That’s not how relationships work.”
“I know.” Jaemin dropped his head in regret. “I’ve never wanted all of this. I’ve always wanted the best for…”
“...yourself,” Jaehyun ended the sentence aloud.
“... her,” Jaemin ended the sentence in his head.
And even though everything was different now, even though he had evolved and grown so much as a person, it was easier to let them believe that he was still the selfish, hard-headed Jaemin from the past.
After all, he couldn't hold her like Jaehyun to make her feel so happy.
It had to be someone particular. It had to be him.
And if he would be gone, then no one could make her happy anymore.
So Jaemin dashed forward and grabbed his former friend by the collar. Jaehyun was too perplexed to instantly react and just faced his opposite with a shocked expression.
“Listen up,” Jaemin growled, “if you send out signed divorce papers, I will come for you in the worst way possible. If you don’t rekindle this marriage with her, I will make your life a living hell. We might not like each other anymore, but we both love her, and if I ever see you making her sad again, you can dig your own grave. You will fix this marriage, no matter the cost, are we in the clear?”
He slowly let go of Jaehyun after luring out a reluctant nod from him. Latter cleared his throat and asked, “... but, do you think she even still wants to be with me?”
This time, Jaemin’s smile was sincere. “I’m absolutely sure about that. Show her again the reason why she was picking you over me, again and again. Remind her of all the traits that make you so much better for her than me, and she will choose you again. If she hasn’t already. Or do you not want t-”
“I do!” Jaehyun blurted out. “I absolutely do.”
Jaemin stretched out his arm and gave his former friend’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze. “Very well.”
When he made his way to the door, Jaehyun stopped him with the words, “Thank you. Honestly.”
Initially, he wanted to turn around, but it was starting to burn behind his eyes, so Jaemin kept his back turned to Jaehyun and said,
“Don’t make me regret this.”
____
Jaemin threw his phone into the bushes on his way out.
So, what now?
He turned his head to the sky, and even though the tears started streaming down his face now, he tucked his hands into the pockets of his jacket and smiled through the blurriness. The wind was cold and burned his wet cheeks, and suddenly, it started snowing again.
This pain would vanish, he was sure of that. When you had fixed your marriage, got children and grew old together, his pain would eventually pass in this timeline.
Yet, at that moment, it felt like it ripped Jaemin’s heart to shreds, even to the point where he wondered if he was actually tricking himself into believing that he would be fixed again or had to live the rest of his life with this ache slowly eating him up from the inside until there was nothing left of him anymore except for the frayed edges of his once so lively soul.
Jaemin took a deep breather and swallowed the next wave of tears.
He had no regrets, despite everything. And he still had hope. As long as there was that and he was able to hold onto these faint strings, he would continue on.
A fresh start, that was what he needed now as he trotted to his car. Far away from you and Jaehyun so that your paths would never cross again in this lifetime. That was the last selfless act he could still offer to you.
America sounded good.
#jaehyun#jeong jaehyun#jaemin#na jaemin#nct#nct 127#nct dream#jaehyun smut#jaemin smut#jaehyun imagines#jaemin imagines#jaehyun scenarios#jaemin scenarios#jaehyun x reader#jaemin x reader#jaehyun x you#jaemin x you#nct smut#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct x reader#nct x you#nct 127 smut#nct dream smut#nct 127 scenarios#nct dream scenarios#nct 127 imagines#nct dream imagines#nct 127 x you#nct dream x you
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I absolutely love your writing!! Idk if you're open for request, but if you do, can I request doctor!reader with Harumasa? He loves to go to infirmary not only he can pretend to be sick but also just to see them
Double trouble cause I thought it sounded like a fun combination. Does using a 1988 song name as the title make me sound old? 🤔
❝ 𝘉𝘢𝘥 𝘊𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯' 𝘠𝘰𝘶 ❞
harumasa x afab!doctor!reader
genre: fluff, I projected a little bit into this???
summary: if being in love with your cute doctor wasn’t bad enough, she’s completely clueless when it comes to romance
wc: 1.6k
The end of your pen tapped thoughtfully against your plush lower lip as you skimmed your notes. Once. Twice. Your eyes dart to the opened paper file on the counter beside you.
Even cracked it was a solid two inches high and crammed full of health histories, specialty consult results and prescription sheets all bound haphazardly with what looked like ties from a bread bag. You really needed to get an actual binder to hold it all, but as of now you had other problems to address.
“Well,” you swiveled your chair around as you clicked your pen, eyes still skimming your intake sheet before you looked up with a smile, “Good news is nothing seems to be wrong. Well, let me rephrase that, wrong when compared to your baseline.”
It was an important differentiation to make when you were dealing with one of your most tasking patients. In your two years of clinic practice in the city you had never needed to spend a series of days pouring over a patient file, heck, even before you graduated and were staged as a resident in the clinic in the Outer Ring it wasn’t so extensive.
Ether Aptitude Regression Syndrome was a bad actor, and Asaba Harumasa seemed to be its favorite role to haunt.
He coughed pitifully, a hand splayed over his chest as he shook his head. “Are you sure, Doc? My body’s aching all over and my head feels funny, and I—,” he coughed again, “can’t seem to shake this cough.”
You frowned, scribbling another note on your papers. “Have you been taking all your medications as indicated?”
“Just as the doctor ordered…actually,” a pensive expression decorated his face as he fisted the fabric of his work shirt, “maybe I have a deficiency in something, I think I ran out of some of my vitamins.”
You perked up immediately, flipping quickly to his laundry list of medication and supplements. “Which one have you been missing? A? C? K?”
“I think it was vitamin you.”
“Oh.” You pulled your prescription pad off the desk. “I’m going to write you an order for Vitamin U. Try adding some cruciferous veggies to your diet, leafy greens, broccoli, stuff like that. Call me if it starts giving you stomach problems.”
You tore the slip off your pad as you extended it to him, the paper decorated in your curling and messy script.
“Do you need a work excuse?”
Should he just quit? This was the question he asked himself every time he stepped out the door of the clinic back onto the street, paper bag of medication in his hand.
White coat syndrome was a very real affliction, though his heart wasn’t racing and his blood pressure wasn’t spiking because he was anxious. After the fourth visit you just assumed it was his baseline response to see his pulse spike randomly through the exam, after all, his syndrome mainly seemed to impact his heart and lungs.
What you didn’t know was that wasn’t his baseline, nor was it a mutation of his syndrome not documented by his past physicians. It was simply a biological response to something else you conveniently seemed to not notice: the raging interest he had in you.
Rest assured he was absolutely mortified when he figured it out himself, laying on his back staring at the ceiling in the dark as he realized he was enthralled by the very idea of you. Your intelligence, your nimble hands, the way you tapped your pen against your lips when met was a challenge you hadn’t quite deciphered, your warm smile.
It wasn’t a complete lie when he would tell you he felt feverish, or that his stomach felt sick and his heart was racing, he felt all those things with horrifying clarity tenfold when your hand pressed against his forehead after noting aloud that his skin seemed flush and clammy.
Was it crossing a line to be flirting with your doctor? Definitely, he was sure he was toeing some doctor-patient professional relationship line, but if he ended up in someone else’s care later then there really wasn’t anything holding him back.
But he was growing increasingly convinced that if you weren’t intentionally playing dumb that you might be a little thick when it came to the nuanced science of flirtation because he had shifted from casual to nearly outright and you never batted an eye.
How else could you have misinterpreted his texts from last week? He was half-giddy with excitement, sure he had you this time.
I miss you.
Your appointment isn’t until next week, you didn’t miss anything. Have a good night :)
It haunted him nearly as much as the day he forgot his work excuse and asked you to text it to him, how proudly he had flipped the phone screen to show Tsukishiro until she squinted and asked, “Why do you have heart emojis around your doctor’s name?”
A devastating blow to his ego. But so was every failed attempt to catch your eye.
“Do you have an inhaler? Cause you just took my breath away.”
“Hold on, I’ll grab one from the cart. You’re supposed to carry your own inhaler, Mr Asaba!” You scolded, disappearing for a moment before tossing him an inhaler.
“You look a little under the weather yourself, Doc. Sure you aren’t deficient in vitamin M E?”
“Ah, I didn’t put as much makeup on today.” You cupped your cheeks with your hands thoughtfully. “I feel fine though, thanks for your concern.”
“I’m no organ donor, but I’d love to give you my heart.”
“Your medical condition prevents you from joining the organ donation program.” You didn’t even bother to turn around when you acknowledged him.
“I think my heart just skipped a beat when I looked at you.”
“You’re on a medication that regulates heart rhythm, should I write you a cardiology referral?”
He went to text you again as he walked home for the evening. Typed. Deleted. Typed again. Deleted again. You just weren’t getting it, or maybe you were just too kind to tell him you weren’t interested or even that you had a boyfriend already on his numerous visits. Maybe he should just give you some space?
But maybe that would be cruel when you were standing on the sidewalk waiting for the light to change, mascara smeared down your cheeks as you sniffled. He pocketed his phone.
“Hey Doc, you alright?”
You tensed, head swiveled in his direction before you quickly turned your face away, hands swiping at your cheeks before wiping them on your dark scrubs hastily.
“Oh, hey Mr. Asaba.” He frowned at your attempt at a cheerful tone, your voice still wavering from your tears before you cleared your throat. “You, uh, don’t have to call me Doc when the clinic is closed.”
“And you don’t have to call me Mister when I’m not sitting on your exam table.” He retorted, catching the little quirk at the corner of your lips as they quivered in a small smile.
“Want me to walk you home? It’s kinda late.”
“No, but thank you.” You peered over your shoulder towards the restaurant just behind you. You gripped your bag tighter, inching closer to where he stood beside you on the curb. “Actually, would you mind..?”
He didn’t have to ask you what was wrong, within the first five minutes of your walk you had apologized to him multiple times, started crying again, and spilled your heart out.
Six bad dates in the span of a couple weeks came to a head over a plate of chicken parm, your date kicking back as he declared you to be dull, hopeless, slow, and much uglier in person than your dating profile picture (which was your clinic profile photo).
“He said that I “couldn’t take a hint”, whatever that’s supposed to mean!” You cried indignantly before you turned to him, eyes puffy and wet from your tears.
“Am I that bad?”
He sucked a breath between his teeth. “Well, not to play the devil’s advocate but I’ve been flirting with you for weeks and you didn’t notice.”
You stopped dead in your tracks. “What?!”
He held up his hands defensively, but before he could say anything your head had already hung low, shuffling your clinic sneakers on the dirty sidewalk outside your apartment.
“I’m sorry.” Your voice was small as your shoulders sank. “I’m not very good at stuff like this.”
He rubbed the back of his neck, fingers grazing his choker. “I noticed, but it’s fine. You just need things to be a little more straightforward.”
He took a deep breath, clasping his hands together as he pointed at you. “I think you’re very pretty and charming in your weird doctor-y kind of way, so I would like to take you out for dinner sometime. Like, romantically.”
He was sure you gave yourself whiplash for how quickly your head snapped up, eyes wide. You brushed your tousled hair back from your face, cheeks flushing brightly enough he could see them burning under the streetlights.
“Oh, okay….when?”
“Tomorrow after you get off? I’m dreaming of beer and fried chicken if you aren’t opposed.”
“Of course not!”
He was a little taken aback by how aggressively you answered, your hands clasping around one of his as if he was about to dematerialize before your very eyes.
“Great, then I will see you tomorrow. Have a good night, Doc—I mean, (y/n).”
“Good night to you as well.”
He turned to leave. He was practically screaming inside like a teenage girl you just secured a prom date, a new lightness to his step in the wake of his victory.
“Harumasa!”
He paused in his step, head whipping around to face you. You still stood on the stoop, a smile plastered across your face like he hadn’t seen before, one that lit your eyes up and dimpled your cheek.
“Thank you!”
He gripped his chest over his heart as it flipped wildly in his chest. His grin was pained when he looked up at you.
“Doc, I might actually need emergency care this time--,”
Rey 2024
#asaba harumasa#harumasa x reader#zzz harumasa#zzz x reader#zzz#zenless zone zero#harumasa zzz#zzz requests
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Some facts about Neve (and Tevinter) gathered from the banters
I went through all companion banters on DanaDuchy's channel after playing the game to write down all facts about companions/the world that I haven't seen brought up anywhere in the game as a writing reference (and for funsies).
Note: This list may not be exhaustive. I might have missed some something or didn't write it down because I considered it common knowledge. If you have anything to add, please DM me or send an ask! (do specify what banter the information is coming from, though)
Note 2: Posts from this series (mostly) don't include information from banters specific to quests or between companions and faction members. I plan to do another playthrough to capture more of those and will add any relevant info to the character posts.
Other characters' posts: Bellara, Davrin, Harding, Lucanis, Emmrich, Taash. I'm also planning a post about just the Lighthouse some time later
About Neve:
General:
Neve isn’t rich, and her best coat is a gift from a grateful tailor after she saved his warehouse from an arsonist
Neve’s coat is woven with enchantments to resist fire and lighting
Neve has never done blood magic. She is against it on principle and judges those who use it
Neve doesn’t seem to like entertaining extreme hypotheticals since she reacts to Harding’s questions like “What would you take with you to a deserted island?” with asking why she would end up in such situations in the first place
Neve wouldn’t want gems on her leg, because she thinks they would get stolen within a day of working in Minrathous, and she generally prefers to keep a low profile while on the job
However, she still considers saving up for a new, fancier leg to have more fashion choices. She likes Taash’s idea of getting a ruby inlay for it
Neve never visited Rivain before joining the Veilguard, though she now finds its beaches charming
Ever since she was a baby, Neve was stubborn and asked too many questions (and hated unanswered questions as well)
Neve likes Qunari food but thinks it’s very spicy
Neve likes seafood
Neve doesn't drink tea
Neve isn’t really close with her family
Neve once tried to use a wisp-repelling artefact the Veil Jumpers found to get rid of the wisps in her room, but it only attracted wisps from the entire Lighthouse
Neve isn’t interested in exploring the mysteries of the Lighthouse because she has enough mysteries on this side of the Veil
(If Rook chooses to save Minrathous) Neve sends civil engineers to assist in Treviso
On work:
Neve didn’t want to be a detective when she was a child (not as if in she didn’t like the idea, she just didn’t consider it), though she didn’t have any dream career either
Neve got into detective work by picking up odd jobs and building a reputation of being good at finding things. Eventually, she was hired to find someone’s brother, a case nobody else wanted to pick up, and her career took off
Neve agrees that she is cynical and married to her job, but doesn’t consider herself ‘serious’
Neve allegedly has a system for sorting her papers (Emmrich and Rana are sceptical about its existence)
(If Neve becomes Dock Town's protector) Elek is implied to visit the Lighthouse again multiple times. Taash mentions seeing him poking around the library. Neve explained that he thought he could grab some fade-touched items to sell, and told him to run the plan by the Caretaker (one would think they did not approve)
On life in Minrathous:
Neve was born and raised in Minrathous
Neve has never been inside the Archon’s Palace
(If Neve chooses to become Dock Town’s inspiration) Neve doesn’t regret letting Aelia live because she got information on Venatori out of her, and her death wouldn’t change the past
(If Neve chooses to become Dock Town’s inspiration) Neve gets to take a break for once in her life because Rana keeping an eye on the Dock Town actually helps
(If Neve chooses to become Dock Town’s inspiration) People gossip about Neve and Rana after they start their agency :)
Neve describes the rain of Minrathous as "cold fingers down your neck", but she misses it now that she's away from the city. The sound helps her fall asleep
Neve’s entire apartment could fit inside villa Dellamorte’s dining room
One of Tevinter papers referred to Neve as "Dock Town dirt-chaser," and to Emmrich as "sinister foreign necromancer”
A Tevinter paper called The Minrathous Herald once wrote that Neve should be exiled. The same paper called Shadow Dragons “traitors to the Empire”
Neve never runs out of ink because she's on good terms with Minrathous ink sellers
There is however one banter where she runs out of ink (I think it was with Davrin). Make of that what you will.
On the Shadow Dragons:
Neve didn't know Dorian personally until she joined the Shadow Dragons
Neve figured out the Viper's identity even before joining the Dragons. Her not revealing it to the public is one of the reasons he recruited her
Tarquin calls Neve a pain in the ass
Relationships with companions:
Neve calls Manfred ‘Fred’ (he seems to like that)
Manfred learns to say Neve's name (likely only happens if you revive him at the Necropolis, though I am not sure)
Neve introduces Lucanis to a spice shop in Dock Town
Harding describes Neve’s tastes in coffee as “made of gutter water filtered through an old sock”
Lucanis once showed Neve’s coffee to Viago. He found it “unsettling”
Davrin thinks drinking Neve's coffee is worse than the Joining
Neve spoils Assan (but denies that accusation)
Neve is rather quick to consider questioning corpses with Emmrich’s help for her cases
Neve is very apprehensive about lichdom and the perspective of Emmrich eventually turning evil (just like Emmrich isn't thrilled about her taking over the Threads for similar reasons)
Lucanis is concerned about Neve taking over the Threads. Mainly, about how much they are paying her
Neve has multiple banters with Taash discussing her relationship with Lucanis. Taash initially thinks of it as some sort of predator-prey dynamic, but Neve says she is not into that and explains that they are taking it slow and cautious. They both went through a lot of pain in their lines, which they tend not to show for different reasons
Neve's relationship with Lucanis is also more than she usually looks for with people
Neve takes Taash to Hal’s fish fry stand. Taash loved it :)
Taash offers Neve help on ladders in case she may need it/it gets stuck on steps due to being hook-shaped, mentioning they knew a Lord of Fortune who lost a hand and whose shoulders hurt while climbing because of it. Neve seems to appreciate the gesture, even though she can handle herself
Neve thinks Taash is nice to work with, offering help without being overbearing like some people are
Neve asks Taash to teach her Gold Thief (a Lord of Fortune dice game), so she can play it with the Shadow Dragons, and then subsequently gets beaten by the Viper
On Tevinter:
Fashion is important in Tevinter because a good outfit lets people know you are under the protection of someone powerful
There aren’t many mages in Docktown, which is one of the reasons the government doesn’t care about it
The big red cat near Halos’s stand is named Ferdinand
Stains on clothes can be cleaned with magic
You can get pineapples anywhere in Minrathous
Neve calls the magic used for the lights in Minrathous a party trick, but Emmrich considers it a high-level enchantment because of its quality and duration
Tevinter doesn’t regulate the charms sold in the market (which is why there are a lot of scammers who sell fakes)
#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#neve gallus#taash#lucanis dellamorte#veilguard spoilers#datv banters#emmrich volkarin#meta#references#flowers.txt#mourn watch
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