#I did not forget Julie’s shoes guys IGNORE

[clegfly]

Holy shit I can’t believe they added lesbians to DTI

[coffeefiction]

Love Binds (Wally Darling x Reader) Pt 2

Lots of people have been asking for a part two so here's part two! Honestly, I did not think that people were going to enjoy the last part but then I saw people asking for part two and I was so happy that you guys were enjoying the story.

Thank you to everyone who had loved the last chapter! I truly appreciate it!

TW: Angst, Being replaced, Implications of vomiting, self-comparison ( in a sense) Overall, a huge angsty chapter. (If I'm missing something, please do tell me)

I hope you all enjoy part 2, thank you to these people:

@tiredly101 @thelivingdiary

They gave me ideas for part two!

Tagging: @capricorn-anon

I hope you all enjoy it!

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

----------------------------------------------------

You stare at the mirror, hair a mess with a tired look. Months into this sufferable misery finally caught up with you, sleepless nights and late-night walks have become a remedy for a while but now, you simply wanna black out and sleep. The maybes had run around your head like a child high on sugar, which was strange since you never experience what's it like to be in a sugar rush. 

Every time you walk down the street and see Wally and Veronica hand and hand together, you can't help but feel this awful feeling in your gut, the sudden feeling of sadness with the feeling of wanting to throw up the food you just ate. It was difficult that sometimes, you wish that you were as lucky as Veronica.

Lucky she was to not be in your shoes, wishing to say you part of this whole situation. But what if your friends get upset with you?! You can't have that! Gods how you wish you live a life without awareness but here you are, staring at your reflection, aware of what you feel and see, it hurts.

With a sigh, you left the bathroom, grabbing your satchel, and heading into the bedroom to grab your luggage, your mind troubled with the hurt and emptiness you feel. With a deep breath as the moonlight shines through your window, you grab your luggage. Ignoring the tears that fall, you swallow what you feel. It was time to leave now if you still wish to be able to catch the train.

You look around the room, remembering all the moments you and your friends have done in the place, remembering how Julie would style your hair, remembering how you and Sally would dress up as your favorite characters, remembering how you would welcome Eddie in when he wanted to talk about how amazing Frank is or dragging Frank in to talk to him to confess to Eddie before it was too late. You remember the days when you and Barnaby would throw jokes at each other while he helped you with the window he broke days prior. You remember the days of Poppy visiting with a bucket of paint to hide in the room from Wally.

You remember the memories with Wally, how he would throw pebbles on your window, climbing up when you invite him in. You remember the moments of late-night talks, reminiscing your college days, gossiping about how the rivals in the school were now dating. You remember his warm hugs when days were tough, you remember the rainy days when you two would hide under the bed, talking about the randomness of things, distracting him from the chaos outside. 

Your eyes were damp from all these reminiscing, the ringing in your head as you heart shatters from the pain. With a final look, you grab the luggage and left, going to the train station, letting the moonlight guide your road to wherever you wanna go.

The morning sun greets the neighborhood. Everyone is up on their feet to get through the day. New neighbors were being welcome by Wally and Veronica but Wally felt off...Like something is a miss...Is he forgetting something?  He shrugged it off, he'll remember later.

Hours passed by, and the afternoon came, Wally still feel that bugging feeling he can't seem to pinpoint. "You alright? You look distracted" A voice drags him out of his thought, looking at where it came from, he was met with a worried look from Veronica " I'm alright, I think I'm a bit beat, didn't sleep properly last night," he said, laughing nervously as he rubs the back of his neck. Veronica giggles " Very well then, go catch some z's babes, I'll take it from here," she said, pushing Wally to the direction of his house "You sure sweetheart? I don't mind walkin around to greet the new neighbors, would be not so neighborly of me if I don't" He said.

 Veronica simply laughs as she pushes him "Don't worry bout it, I'll drop by later when I'm done to raid your pantry" Wally laughs, knowing that she would do so, after all, it has been a sort of routine of theirs lately. After making sure and persuasion from the lovely woman, Wally lets up and agrees he'll catch some sleep. 

Walking down the street, he feel at peace, it was calming then slowly, he thinks of a certain someone, he hasn't seen you in a while, maybe a quick visit wouldn't hurt? Continuing his walk, he hums happily, maybe he can lay on the bed you own, your bed has always been the softest and the most comfortable one. He smiles at the thought, maybe he can raid your pantry for apples, you always had one due to him! The thought makes him chuckle a little to himself as he turns to a corner, going to where your house is located instead of his. 

The street was familiar, even though you two live in the same row, your house was quite far from his place but it was sure near to the street he was currently on. As he walks, he starts to think of how the two of you would run down the street, tagging each other out of boredom, being reckless and a little bit wild. Singing or listening to songs as you walk down to your place, he misses it....

Slowly....

He realized how it's been so long since he has truly hung out with you...It twists around his gut...No, you two hung out last...Wait when was the last time you two truly hung out?... He knacks his brain, thinking of the last time you both hang out, he was with you a week ago....yeah! He was with Barnaby and you, helping you fix the window he broke. You were at Julie's party that was hosted two days ago, he probably didn't see you there, you never really were that into parties but he was sure you were there?..... He sighs in frustration, he can't seem to remember, he knows you two hang out a lot! So why can't he remember when was the last time you two hang out?! Cause he swears he saw you two days ago! He even interacted with you and you both exchange some words! It's probably the lack of sleep, he has been having a hard time with sleep as of late. Maybe that's why he can't remember, lack of sleep for some odd reason, with a sigh, he continues his walk.

Reaching the place, he walks to your front door. Ringing the doorbell he waited. Silence answered him, raising his eyebrow, he rings the doorbell again and waited. No footstep, no shuffling, nothing, silence hugged him and the surrounding, he turns the doorknob and it was locked. Maybe you went to the store? It is Sunday. You mostly go to the store on Sundays, he would even accompany you on most days, so maybe you were just in the store.

He looks under the potted plant near the door to see if you left a spare key that you always leave for him. Nothing. There was no spare key, weird...Did you lose your main key again? With a sigh, he sat down on the stairs of the porch, you probably lost your main key if the spare key is gone. You don't always lose your keys but it had happened a lot that he know why the spare key would not be in its normal spot. 

He waited for you to come around, staring at the ground or at the sky, sometimes dozing off due to boredom or tiredness or probably both.  The afternoon sky was lovely, he thinks of painting it and gifting it to you. He smiles at the thought, maybe you and him could hang out on the porch and just paint the afternoon sky! That seems like a nice activity for the two of you, you had always told him how you love the afternoon sky, you were a sucker for it that he started to love it too...or was it the night sky? huh...No, it was the afternoon sky that you love. You told him when days ago about it when he dropped by with Eddie.

After what seemed to be forever, he heard footsteps, he looks up ready to greet you when...

"Ah, Wally! Dear! what a pleasant surprise to see you love!" That didn't come from you, it came from old woman Josie! He smiles at the older woman "Nice to see you too Mrs. Josie" he greeted as the older woman walks up to him.

"Now dear, what are you doing here?" She asks and Wally chuckles " I'm here to visit (y/n)" He replied and the woman's face looks at him with confusion on her features. "What? Dear, they moved out three weeks ago, didn't they tell you?" 

Wally's face dropped, and his smile was discarded "W-what? They moved out?" he ask, did he hear that right? "yes, moved out three weeks ago from what I can remember" She said and Wally felt his heart shatter.

Slowly, it cracks...and cracks....

" W-why?" he stuttered out, not wanting to believe it, old woman Josie is playing with him, and any moment she would start laughing saying she was joking, even though the joke seems a bit cruel...

But she didn't laugh....

"Dunno, although, they did mention about going back home, dunno what that lovely means but it did seem pretty serious" 

Wally has never run so fast in his life, not even when he was chased by a dog when he first moved into the neighborhood. He has never run so fast, never darted down the street to get to his house as fast as possible. Tears fall from his eyes throughout the time, he ran and ran until he was breathing heavily, collapsing on his knees in the middle of the street as he sobs, holding onto his phone tightly.

Several missed calls he had missed throughout the months from his best friend, several unread messages, several things he had missed!...

Slowly it dawned on him, you were never in the party, it was never your window he fixed with Barnaby, it wasn't you who he interacted with two days ago! It wasn't you who was at the party! You weren't the sucker who loves the afternoon sky! It was Veronica! Veronica Williams!

He sobs harder.....Slowly, he realized that you two had stopped hanging out, you two had never hanged out, and slowly he realized that he had been ignoring you and had been avoiding you...

And that realization hit him like a train...

It slowly dawns on Wally that you haven't been in the picture for a long time now...

----------------------------------------------------

Wooooooo!! Part two!!

I'll fix the spelling and grammar mistakes later, It's late here and I'm dipping out, night everyone!

Thank you for reading this and the last chapter, I hope you all enjoy it! Goodnight!

Edit: I have edited this, nothing really changes, so don't worry. I simply just added some colors and I hope you all are catching up with the colors now-

Also, I am very thankful for all the love this story is getting!

[bunny-j3st3r]

Archie sonic issue #2

And here we move on to the second in the #290 comic book series woof.

As I said in my previous post as much as I dilike the archie comics this isn't to to shit on the comics or those that like them. I'll be giving just as many positive thoughts as I do negative.

I'm just reading through them and just wanna share my thoughts on them.

Issue #2 was released in July 1993 And publication was september 1993.

Must of been wild back then to wait so long in between as if tbf we do that now still with idw but I remember a lot of my own comics I read growing up were weekly.

Anyway this is like one of the few pins I wish I could own but trying to explain the gag to people would be a lot of effort.

Sorry but Coconuts is like a really cute design I wish he was used more, I think he was in the tv series more?

This was a fucking mob hit.

Also hello you two bastards I know you fuckos.

This is so fucking stupid but "your non identical twin" made me laugh WAY harder than it should off.

These are funny acutally. Like I forget early sonic also had a cheeky attidude, I mean his british comic self would tell tails to fuck off or he'll shag his mam in greggs but you know.

WOW throw back to issue one /J

I don't really recall seeing much of scratch and gounder after this, they were more involved in the tv show I guess and just didn't really hit of with comic audience I guess? Which is a shame because they are kinda funny as bumbling idiot servants.

I wonder what Cubot and Orbot would of thought about them?

Kids who read the comic when it first came out are all like this now.

I would say I think this is when they tried to insert lore but I think this is the one about the two gag characters and not the uh racist stereotype tribal men story line.

Yep I believe they returned somewhere in the #90s issues? maybe I don't recall but I don't think they were like meant for anything other than to just make a fun story about the rings.

Oh god this made me cringe acutally that looks oddly painful

also omg better look at sonic's lil nub tail.

Awful scene that implies sonic's nose isn't the black ball on his snout

They had this odd habit at the end of some of the comics like a desperate plea not to cancel them, I think it's in the mecha sonic comic to very bizzare espically consiering some kids prolly did send letters in but were most likely ignored.

For years after I read this comic (my dad brought the collection when i was younger they are prolly worth some now lmfao if we had them) I believed this was how they made 'foil' covered things.

I remember doing it myself and being dissapointed my face just tore through it.

That sure is a title.

Need you guys to commit this image to memory for later.

This was a cute little thing of people guessing why tails had well two tails. I don't think they had a solid idea at this point? I don't remember the cartoons that well.

He's not naked he has shoes on.

The sonic vs mario haters is as old as time

My thoughts on this one was pretty good again, it's a cute series at the start and it introduced characters from the series like scratch and grounder.

I guess they wanted to introduce the characters that were going to be in the tv series because as I said some of these characters weren't really seen again in the comics, well not that often.

Which I don't blame them because I suppose keeping a lot of cast around takes away from the main villian himself and it's easier to concentrate on him.

It's a shame though because I have fond memories of vividly hating scratch and grounder but for a goofy kids cartoon they slotted in well.

I like eggmans use of skinny and square shaped idiot partners as his sidekicks. He seems to have a type for those being his personal servants, err, assistants.

my time lines could be funky on these because I'm not following along with the mini series of comics until later on.

But I like them.

We haven't reached ken penders era yet /J

PREV NEXT >

[coexiising]

Good Neighbors - Chapter One

SUMMARY ✦ You were excited to learn that someone was finally moving into that old house next to your own. The Skywalker-Amidala family seemed like a great addition to your friendly neighborhood, with their two twin kids and happy personalities. Though, the more you get to know your neighbors, the closer you get to the husband of the family: Anakin Skywalker.

WARNING(S) ✦ Modern! Anakin Skywalker, Alternate Universe, Infidelity, Eventual Smut, not so slow burn, Eventual Romance, Neighbors, and they were neighbors, anakin looks so good in a suit, sneaking around, forbidden love

NOTE ✦ I’ve been wanting to write a Modern! Anakin fanfic for a while now, so here we go! This will be a multi chapter fic, I don’t know how many yet but expect a lot because I’ve got some ideas to play out! This chapter is more of an introductory, but expect some more spicy drama in the next coming chapters. 

»»————-　✼　————-««

As tradition goes every year, you could smell the smoke coming from the middle of your neighborhood's culdesac while you made your way outside your garage with your mother, who held a large tray of potato salad in her hands that she insisted she carried herself over to the white tables in the distance. It was hot outside, early July was coming strong this year with the heat, reaching a staggering eighty nine degrees outside and it was already well past noon. Though, you should’ve been expecting the heat, since it seemed to creep up on you every time this yearly cookout happened.

It had been a little tradition, jokingly deemed a ‘holiday’ by your younger brother, that had been going on for as long as you could think back to. You could remember being five years old and running around with the neighborhood kids and jumping into your pool after eating the bountiful amount of food that was supplied for the families that participated. It used to be a handful of them, three or four families that came and had a small little barbeque together. But over time that changed, and now it became a whole neighborhood thing.  

The dads of the block always started earlier to get everything set up, which was really the long white tables where food could be set and setting up the large grill on the pavement. And the moms always slaved away in their kitchens making some type of side dish, whether it be fruit cups, potato salads, or whatever. You were twenty two now, almost done with your undergraduate degree, and you wondered if you would ever find this sense of friendliness anywhere else when you eventually moved from your home. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to leave, it was just more convenient for you to stay and you didn’t mind your family that much. They were supportive, there for you no matter what, and your home was close to your University anyways.

“I wonder if Lisa is going to wear that ugly dress she bought the other day,” Your mother stated, making short, languid strides next to you. “She brought it to the house a few days ago when we were having a little wine date and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that she was definitely not twenty five anymore and that dress did not hug her in the right places.”

You laughed, jokingly hitting your mom on the shoulder. “Mom, come on, it can’t be that bad.” She didn’t respond, only grinning towards you with a hint of playfulness filling her eyes behind her thick, black sunglasses. Your eyes scanned the crowd already forming, kids on the outside running around with a ball. You knew a lot of them, even held some of them as babies after they were born. But when you took another glance at the group, you saw that there were two you didn’t recognize. A boy and a girl, both looking similar to one another and the only difference being the slightly different shades of their hair. “Mom, who are they?” You asked, pointing to the girl and boy who were now fighting each other for control over the soccer ball.

“Oh, they’re the kids of the new neighbors,” Your mom answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. You looked over at the house next to your own, a two story one with white coloring and many windows. It had been for sale forever and it became quite the local news when someone actually bought it. You guess you hadn’t realized that the people who bought it were now occupying it. “They’re twins, I think. The mom and dad are on the younger side too. Courtney says that the husband is working at that law firm down on first street and apparently the wife wants to run for senator in a year.” How the hell did she know this much about everyone? You shouldn’t even question it at this point, since she was friends with all the neighborhood moms who loved to gossip.

Looking around for any unfamiliar faces, you were surprised to see none. Were they not coming out for the cookout? It seemed like the perfect place for them to meet everybody. “Oh!” Your mom exclaimed. “I forgot the tongs on the kitchen counter, could you go get them for me, please?” Without a second thought you nodded, turning on your heel and making your way back towards your house. As much as you loved your mom, you were sometimes annoyed with her forgetfulness, especially because you asked her if she had everything three times before you left just a few moments ago. Oh well, it wasn’t that big of a deal, you would be in and out in no time.

You walked up the well cut grass of your lawn to your front door, sandaled foot almost hitting the concrete when you heard the creak of another door. It belonged to the door of the house beside you, the light tapping of shoes making their way onto the patio filled your ears, feeling somewhat foreign since you weren’t used to hearing anything from that house. You wondered what it looked like inside, if everything was rusted and worn. It had to have been almost ten years since someone lived there.

But when you turned to finally get a look at your neighbor, your thoughts were completely halted.

Your mom was right, he, most likely being the husband, was on the younger side. He had to be in his early thirties, still a lot of youth painting his broadened features. His skin was lightly tanned, it was hard not to notice the way that the sun seemed to do a good job in painting his long, muscular arms that reached to close the door behind him. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt and black pants, though it wasn’t like something that you had seen other dads wear before, it was more formal, more pristine like he was trying to make an appearance. But if the story checked out, he was supposed to be a lawyer, it was his job to look professional. You continued to look at him, almost shamefully so as your eyes trailed from his clothing to his face, taking in the sharpness of his jaw and the blues of his eyes that very much reminded you of the light blue sky above you now. And then to his hair, which was cut short and had a golden glow to it.

Right as you were about to turn and get into your house, the ball that had been with the group of kids came flying your way, hitting against the door next to you and making you jump at the loud noise. It was lucky that it didn’t fly through a window, or your parents would’ve gone ballistic. You could hear some of the parents start to shout at the kids, telling them to stay away from the houses if they were planning on kicking that thing off of the ground. The same kids you were questioning earlier ran up your lawn, most definitely to retrieve the ball that would’ve hit you dead on if you hadn’t been gawking at their father.

“Luke, I told you to not kick it that way!” The girl, Leia, yelled towards her brother, a little stomp in her step as they made their way towards you. You picked up the ball and held it in your hands, kneeling down and waiting for the kids to approach you. Luke shook his head, shaggy hair falling into his eyes and saying, “It wasn’t me! It was that other guy over there. Why do you always blame me!” You laughed, the dynamic almost reminding you of you and your brother when you were younger.

Handing them the red rubber ball, they both gave you a small ‘thank you’ and Leia muttered a tiny ‘sorry’ and they went on their way. Watching as they went, you didn’t even realize that someone else was walking up to you. Still kneeling, you looked up and saw that it was your neighbor, looking down at you with a tiny, pleasant smile on his face. You blushed, realizing the awkward position and stood up, ignoring the heat coming to your cheeks and offering a smile to him as well. Being this close to him, you could see that he was tall as well, standing a good couple inches over you. Usually this would’ve made you feel intimidated, but for some reason it made you want to draw closer to him. You mentally scolded yourself for thinking this way, knowing that he was your new neighbor, and not to mention he had two very cute twins and a wife who was probably beautiful.

“Sorry about that, I hope they didn’t scare you that bad,” He said, taking a glance at his kids who were already starting another round of whatever game they were playing with the others. His voice was low, but there was a sense of calm to it. It wasn’t rough or gravelly, almost like honey as he spoke to you. “I haven’t seen you here before, do you live here? I think I’ve seen your mom and dad around but we were waiting until the cookout to introduce ourselves.” Kind of a stupid question to ask since you were standing on your porch with your keys in your hand, though you gave him the benefit of the doubt.

“Yeah, um,” You thought back to the day you saw your neighbors two cars parked in the driveway, was that a Sunday? No, it was a Monday. “I’m usually around here more but last week I had to pick up a couple shifts at work to help my friend.” Your coworker and friend came down with the flu and had to find someone to cover her ships ASAP, and you weren’t doing anything important and stepped in to help.

He nodded. “Makes sense. I’m Anakin Skywalker, you already met my kids but they’re Luke and Leia.” Skywalker. A strange last name that confused you for a moment, realizing that you’ve never heard of anything like that before. Then again, you hadn’t heard of the name Anakin either, but somehow the unique name fit him.

“Y/N,” You responded, giving him a nod.

“Y/N,” He said, like he was testing the name out on his tongue. You tried to ignore the feeling you got when you heard it come out of his lips, which were very nice by the way when you took a second to glance at them. It sounded good in Anakin’s voice, and you found yourself wanting him to say it over and over again if he would. There was a moment of awkward silence between the both of you, a random amount of tension that you didn’t know if you were imagining or not. Then Anakin opened his mouth again to say, “My kids were looking at the pool in your yard the other day when they were exploring our backyard.”

“Oh, yeah,” You said. “They’re welcome to come over any time and use it if they want.”

“Are you sure?”

It was normal for the people in the neighborhood to use it if they wanted to. It was a big underground pool that had been built when you were a little kid. “Yeah, everyone does. Just make sure to ask someone before and they’ll most likely say yes. We like to get the most out of it every summer.” You realized that you were supposed to be back with your mother, she was most likely getting antsy as to what was taking so long. So you took the opportunity to leave, even though you wouldn’t mind staying and talking to your new neighbor for as long as he wanted to. He wasn’t just attractive, you thought that he was nice too.

“Well, I need to get something from the house and get back to my mom. See you later, Mr. Skywalker.”

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Just Anakin is fine.”

You felt your cheeks heat up. “Right, see you later, Anakin.” He gave you one last smile and right as you turned around, you could’ve sworn you saw a wink. You turned on your heel, ignoring the eyes he clearly had on you and making your way into your house. The moment the door was closed, you leaned against the wood and closed your eyes, replaying that last moment over and over again in your head. Had he really winked at you? Or was that just your mind spinning some kind of fantasy?

Oh, Christ.

It was hard to ignore the butterflies swarming in your stomach.

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 31

A/N: Bubble chapters incoming.....!

July 18th, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom was getting frappucinos with Kasha.  

She was happy she and Kasha were on the same page – that they would get tacos for a late dinner and bring them back to their place to eat.  Neither were comfortable with dining in restaurants, even though it was allowed.  It just wasn’t something they wanted to do just yet.  So they’d take the tacos back to their apartment, sit on their balcony, and have a romantic date night with the frappucinos and – if Aberdeen was being honest – a bottle of rosé between them.  

Kasha had to run to an ATM, so Aberdeen was left waiting for the tacos herself.  It was a Saturday night, so the streets were somewhat busy – not as busy as they would have been during normal times, but busy enough that it made Aberdeen uncomfortable.  What was everybody doing out?  Where were they going?  Who were they meeting up with?  Why weren’t they staying at home?  It was all very weird to her.  Last summer she wouldn’t have even batted an eye; now, she was hyperaware of the people around her, hyperaware of standing six feet away from the other people ordering tacos, either in line or at the restaurant, and was clutching on to the strap of her bag so her hands didn’t fidget with her mask or touch anything else around her.  She was getting tested every day at work, and thankfully she was lucky to have them always come back negative.  She was being extra cautious.  She didn’t want to—

“Aberdeeeeeen?  Is that you?!” a voice suddenly called out from down the sidewalk.

Aberdeen looked to her right to see Saylor walking down the sidewalk with a posse of girls equally as glamourous as she was.  Aberdeen looked down at her outfit and gulped.  Leave it to Saylor to show up when she was waiting for a boatload of food and in clothes she just threw on to appear presentable in public.  “Hey Saylor,” Aberdeen half-waved.  More than anything, she was surprised to see Saylor in the city – from what she’d seen on Instagram, Saylor had gone back to Lake Forest during quarantine.  Kasperi had joined her.  

“You’re wearing a mask outside?  I thought you didn’t have to here.”

“I was just inside,” Aberdeen pointed with her thumb to the restaurant.  Not that she had to justify wearing a mask anywhere.  The world was still in the midst of a fucking pandemic.  “Just waiting for my food…and my friend.”

“These are my friends – Gina, Amanda, Jen, and Sadie,” she pointed to each girl.  Aberdeen gave them all a quick nod.  They couldn’t seem less interested in her.  “Girls, Aberdeen works for the Leafs with Kasperi.”

Suddenly, all of their eyes shot forward.  “Really?” the one identified as Jen asked.  “What do you do?”

“I—I’m Brendan Shanahan’s personal assistant,” she revealed reluctantly.  She didn’t want to tell these girls anything, let alone her job.

“Kasperi told me you’re going into the bubble next week,” Saylor said before the conversation could go any further.

“I am,” she nodded, hesitating to even confirm the news to Saylor.  After their last altercation in Los Angeles, Aberdeen was fine with never seeing her again.  She was almost positive Saylor felt the same way, but apparently not.  

“He said you’re going to be the only girl in there.”

Saylor was right.  Aberdeen would be the only woman in the bubble for the Leafs.  She was sure – well, she fucking hoped – that other women from other team staff would be at the hotel too.  It would make the experience a lot less fucking awkward, that was for sure.  “Yeah, that’s true.”

Saylor’s friend Gina snorted.  “We all know what you’ll be used for.”

Aberdeen’s heart dropped into the pit of her stomach.  Now she knew why Saylor didn’t just ignore her and walk by her on the street.  She wanted other people to do her dirty work for her.  She wanted to re-live what happened in Los Angeles, except this time, it would be five against one.  

“Not yet,” Saylor smiled wryly.  “Not until she gets her nose job.”

The other girls laughed.  Aberdeen narrowed her eyes at Saylor.  “I fucking love my big nose, alright?”

“I’m sure you do.  That’s very homely of you,” Saylor rolled her eyes.  “And I’m warning you now, you better stay away from Kasperi in that bubble.”

Aberdeen snorted out loud.  Actually snorted.  “Oh my God, is that was this is about?” she asked indignantly.  “You’re…Saylor, you’re joking right?”

Saylor didn’t look too pleased that Aberdeen was laughing at her.  “Stay away from my boyfriend.”

“I wouldn’t touch your boyfriend with a ten-foot pole.  I wouldn’t even touch him wearing a hazmat suit.”

Saylor took a step forward, trying to intimidate her.  Aberdeen was laughing too much to care.  The whole thing got so ridiculous so quickly that the only thing she could do was laugh.  Saylor was completely out to lunch.  “It’s so obvious that you’re so jealous of me,” she said.

“Saylor, I don’t even think about you at all.”

“We ready to go?  I got our tacos,” Kasha’s voice suddenly interrupted the confrontation.  Aberdeen looked behind her to see Kasha holding the bag up slightly, eyeing the situation.  Aberdeen wondered how much of the conversation she’d heard.  “Who’s this, Aberdeen?”

Aberdeen took a slight step back.  “This is Saylor.  Kasperi’s girlfriend.”

Kasha nodded once.  “Have fun,” she said to the group of girls before linking her free arm around Aberdeen’s.  As they took their first step forward, Kasha looked at Aberdeen.  “Kasperi?  Is that the one that DM’ed me?” she asked.  Loudly.

Aberdeen didn’t turn around to see Saylor’s reaction.  She didn’t need to.  She knew she would have never seen someone turn so red so quickly in her entire life.  And as they walked down the street, the wry smile on Kasha’s face grew.  “Was that okay?” Kasha asked.  

“You’re brilliant,” Aberdeen said.  Maybe it wasn’t the nicest thing to do – okay, it definitely wasn’t the nicest thing to do – but God did it feel good.  Kappy had never DM’ed Kasha before in her life.  Aberdeen wasn’t even sure Kappy knew who Kasha was even though he met her at the Halloween party.  “I might get a phone call later, but it was brilliant.”

“If you get a phone call, I’ll let them know that she said you weren’t hot enough without a nose job,” Kasha said.

“So you heard that?”

“That’s when I came in.  The guy was calling your name and so I grabbed the food and lingered.”

Aberdeen smiled.  “I love you, bitch.”

“Love you too, bitch.”

***

Message from: Kasperi Kapanen

I heard u ran into Saylor tonite?

Yes

Why did Kasha say I slid into her DMs?

Must have had to do with the fact that Saylor told me I wasn’t pretty enough for any of you to fuck in the bubble unless I got a nose job.

***

minskatt what did saylor say to u tn?

Nothing important because you love my nose and that’s all that matters

can i call u

No I’m with Kasha

minskatt please

It’s fine Willy I don’t care She’s dumb She thinks I’m jealous of her And she told me to stay away from Kappy in the bubble She thinks I want to sleep with him I mean 🤣

omg

Please don’t worry about it I’ll see you tomorrow

i love u

I love you too I want you to cum down my throat tomorrow Okay?

🥴🥴🥴

***

July 25th, 2020

Aberdeen and William promised each other they would take it slow because they wanted to make the moment last as long as possible.

They were both fully packed.  Aberdeen’s suitcase was packed back in her bedroom.  A two-month supply of food and cat litter was bought for Minerva so that Kasha wouldn’t have to go get any, just in case the Leafs went all the way (which meant, at the end of August, she’d be getting on a plane to Edmonton, too).  She had organized outfits – work and casual.  She made sure to bring entertainment.  The Louis Vuitton duffel bag they all got her for her birthday definitely came in handy.  William had packed some clothes and shoes.  Made sure to pack the basic necessities.  He’d texted guys on the team to see what they were bringing in so he didn’t forget anything.  He wasn’t the best packer.  

Now, all that was left was to spend time together before they couldn’t anymore. 

William didn’t want to go straight into sex.  There was no point.  The sex was great but what he wanted, more than anything, was intimacy – to be able to hold Aberdeen and feel her body pressed up against his; to be able to take in her scent as he always did and be calmed by it as he always was; to be able to bury his face in the crook of her neck and graze his lips along her skin there so delicately it made her shiver; to whisper ‘I love you’ over and over again to her while “Quitting You” by the Arkells played on a constantly loop quietly in the background of their time together.  This is what he would miss.  Florida was different – they were a country away from each other, and it was hard.  But to have her working with them, in the same bubble, while everyone was around, on the same floor, and not be able to get her alone, go to her hotel room, even hold her hand?  It would be torture.  

He laid his head on her chest, hearing and feeling her heart beat as she ran her fingers through his hair.  His arms were wrapped tightly around her and buried underneath her – he was sure the circulation would cut off soon but he didn’t care.  He closed his eyes, and pictured them holding hands.  Openly.  Aberdeen was smiling.  He pulled her into him and kissed her.  They were in the team locker room.

“What are you thinking about?” Aberdeen’s soft voice broke the silence.

“You,” he said simply.  “Us.”

“What about us?” she asked.

“Holding your hand,” he said.  “Kissing you in the locker room.”

When he shifted his head to look up at her, she was smiling.  “Do you hate me because we can’t?”

He shook his head.  “I could never hate you, minskatt.  You know that.”

“It’ll happen soon.  I promise,” she said.  “You won’t have to do anymore waiting.”

“Shhhh…” he cooed, moving up and nuzzling his nose against her jawline.  “I’m not waiting for anything when you’re here with me, am I?” he asked, placing the lightest of kisses on her jawline.

Aberdeen sighed happily.  “When I write my first book, I’m dedicating it to you.  It’s gonna say ‘For William, for waiting’,” she said with a slight chuckle.  

He chuckled too.  “I look forward to it.  Your second book can be dedicated to Siena or Cam or your parents.”

“Second book?  I’m writing a second book, am I?” she smiled.  

“Mhm,” he nodded her.  “You’re gonna write a bunch of books, minskatt.  And they’re all gonna be amazing, and you’ll be all literary or whatever, and everybody’s gonna buy your books.”

Her heart was growing a thousand sizes.  “You think so?”

“I know so.  You’re gonna be a famous writer, minskatt.  I’ll just be in the background.”

She curled around and shifted her body into his.  Their lips came together tenderly as they began kissing each other, Aberdeen slipping her tongue into William’s mouth easily.  His hands wandered down her body to cup her ass before he helped her hook her leg over his torso.  They lay kissing for a while until their lips were red and swollen and their breathless gasps the only sound they could hear in the room.  When William pulled away quickly to take a breath, Aberdeen shifted to lay on her back.  “Willy?” she asked, her voice breathless.

“Minskatt?”

“Make love to me, Willy.  One last time before the bubble.”

He picked her up and brought her to his bedroom, setting her down on the bed gently before crawling over her body and continuing their kissing.  With some trusty hands, William’s hoodie was off, then Aberdeen’s top, then Aberdeen’s pants, then William’s pants.  He kissed down her body, but she pulled him back up.  “Willy—”

“Minskatt—”

“I just need to feel you inside me, Willy.  Please.”

Somewhat reluctantly, he kissed his way back up her body, paying attention to her breasts for a while before he put on a condom and she wrapped her legs around him and he entered her slowly.  Everything was so slow and gentle and intimate, and he’d buried his face into the crook of her neck again to kiss the skin there.  When he came back up and looked at her, it was very clear to him that there were tears welling in her eyes.  His mind immediately went into overdrive and his body seized up.  “Aberdeen?  Aberdeen why are you crying?”

“I’m not – no – no no no, it’s not you, it’s not you,” she let out quickly, cupping his face in her hands.  His entire body had stopped moving as he hovered over here.  She felt a few tears escape down the sides of her eyes, powerless to stop them.  “It’s just me.  It’s me.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I just love you so much,” she said, her voice cracking slightly.  “You believe in me, Willy.”

“Of course I believe in you.  I’ll always believe in you.  Where is this coming from?”

“It was Florida.  Sixty-one days away from you,” she explained.  “Now in the bubble we’re going to be together but we can’t be together, and I want you to know how much I love you.  You know that, right?”

“I do,” he nodded.

“Whatever happens in the bubble, I believe in you and I’ll always believe in you like you believe in me,” she said.

William’s heart panged at her statement.  He craned his head to continue to kiss her, and she could feel tears – not her own – on her cheeks as well.  His slow and steady movements, passionate and thorough and pleasurable all at once, reminded her of that love they just spoke of.  They made love with everything they had in them.  And when they climaxed, and William collapsed on top of Aberdeen’s body, she held him close to her, unwilling to let him go.

He shifted slightly to move out of her, but she tightened her legs around him.  “No,” she pleaded.  “Stay.  I want to feel you inside me for as long as possible.”

“Are you sure?”

“Please Willy,” she almost begged, although she knew she wouldn’t have to.  “Stay.  Let’s just stay like this.”

***

July 26th, 2020

Aberdeen’s family had made it to the staff send-off before they went into the bubble.  Camden and Siena came along too.  Camden made her a card and gave her a crossword puzzles book he’d bought her at Indigo.  When Siena hugged her, she said “Make good choices!” jokingly.  Their parents would always say it to them before they got out of the car when they were driven to parties or the like.

If Siena only knew.

Once her family left, Aberdeen had the fantastic tasks of preparing the buses and organizing significant others to be far enough away from each other so everyone was still social distancing.  Everybody’s significant other was there, save for the single guys like Auston and (to everyone else) William.  As she stood off to the side, she couldn’t help but watch.

Bee McTavish was crying.  She wasn’t wailing loudly or anything like that, but Aberdeen could see her glistening cheeks from her tears as Morgan couldn’t stop kissing her and she couldn’t stop wiping her eyes.  He looked pretty torn up about leaving her, too.  She knew all the guys would be.  They were excited to play hockey again but they weren’t too sold on the concept of the bubble.  Everyone was going to hate being away from their families – Bee and Morgan were no exception.  “Call me whenever you want to,” Aberdeen overheard her tell him.  “And if a single thing starts to hurt you please don’t play.  You need to be healthy, Morgan.”  

Frederik Andersen and Aleida Casillas couldn’t stop kissing, either.  Aleida was getting emotional, although Aberdeen knew that Aleida didn’t want to show it.  Fred’s new wedding ring glistened in the light.  Aberdeen could only imagine what it was like to leave your wife on your one-month anniversary.  

Jace was giggling at his dad’s kisses.  John had spent the last five minutes holding and kissing his baby boy, with Aryne smiling and cuddling them too.  Aberdeen could see Aryne’s small bump peeking out through her t-shirt and realized John was going into the bubble while his wife was pregnant and having to take care of a one-year-old.  Her heart ached.  She saw the smile on John’s face as he cooed at his son and Jace kept repeating “Dada” over and over again and she could feel a rush of emotion flood her face.  

When she saw that Jason had his four girls in a giant bear hug, Aberdeen had to hold in a giant sob.  He was crouching down at their level, kissing them all multiple times and whispering things to them as Jen looked on, looking like she was on the verge of tears herself.  Jason wouldn’t let them go – couldn’t let them go.  Aberdeen had to look away so she didn’t start crying right then and there.  It was too much for her to think about.  

“You okay, Aberdeen?” Auston’s voice interrupted her thoughts, and she whipped her head towards him.  

“I’m fine,” she said, trying not to think about the scenes she just saw.  “Do you need me to pack your bag in the bus?” she asked.

“I’m not gonna make you pack my bag, Aberdeen,” he said like it was the most absurd thing in the world.  

Aberdeen looked at Auston, but could only see right past him.  Behind him, she could see Kappy and Saylor saying their goodbyes.  Saylor was hugging Kappy but giving Aberdeen a death stare.  Aberdeen focused her attention back on Auston.  “How much does Saylor hate me?” she asked.

Auston shrugged.  “Wouldn’t know.  I don’t talk to her anymore.  But from what I hear, a lot.”

“Good to know.  What have you heard?  Because she thinks I want to sleep with Kappy.”

Auston smiled.  “Something like that.”  Aberdeen rolled her eyes playfully, smiling back at Auston.  “For what it’s worth, she thinks everybody wants to sleep with Kappy,” Auston said.  “You know, because he’s just so good looking.”

“You ready for the bubble?” Saylor’s voice suddenly surprised them from behind Auston.  Because of their conversation, they hadn’t seen her approach.  Auston jumped slightly.  He noticed that Saylor was staring directly at Aberdeen.

“As ready as we can be, I think,” Aberdeen said.  

“Just remember what I told you!” Saylor said in a playful tone.  “Stay six feet away from my boyfriend!”

“Just for you, Saylor, I’ll make it ten,” Aberdeen winked.  “I’ll put a pole between us if that’d what you prefer.”

***

There were cameras everywhere covering their arrival.  Naturally, of course, since they were the Toronto Maple Leafs.  Aberdeen only hoped that she wasn’t caught in any of the photos.  She’d already had enough of a time with her identity and stalkers showing up outside her apartment.  She didn’t need people to be lingering outside of the bubble gates for her as well.  

They checked in.  Everything was eerie.  They could only go up the elevators two at a time with their suitcases after they got their welcome packages and key cards.  Aberdeen was situated at the first room to the right side of the elevators.  The equipment staff, trainers, doctor, and coaches were in the wing as well.  Kyle and Brendan had their rooms opposite each other at the very end of the hallway.  The social media person was across from her.  A few more of the equipment guys were on “her” side of the hallway.  To the left of the elevators were the team rooms.  William was the second room in, in the middle between Auston and Mitch.  Jason was in the middle of the hallway.  She knew these things because – as the executive assistant to perhaps the most important executive there – she got a copy of the room allocations and floorplan.  

When she walked into her room, it was set up like any normal, swanky hotel room.  There was a queen-sized bed and a big, beautiful window that looked directly out onto the CN Tower.  The bathroom was big and immaculate.  Things were practically shining.  She hauled her suitcase onto the bed before going to the window to push the curtains open.  If she was going to have a view of the city, she was going to milk it for all it was worth.  

When she walked back to her bed, something on the nightstand caught her eye, and she walked over to it.  Once she realized what they were, her breath hitched in her throat.  She didn’t know who was responsible for this.  But it made her so emotional.  There were three frames with pictures in them, each more sentimental than the last.  In the first frame, there was a mashup of two pictures: one of she and Siena when Siena attended the game in Ottawa, and one of she and Camden when Camden visited right before lockdown.  The second picture was the group shot of the outdoor practice, where she was freezing her butt off but having the time of her life.  The third, and perhaps the one that hit her the most, was a picture from the Night With the Blue and White.  In it, she was posing for a picture with Brendan, Jason, and William, with a champagne flute in her hand.  Her smile took up half her face.  

She let out a sob.  

It wasn’t that she looked so happy.  It wasn’t that she could still remember the way William smelled that night.  It wasn’t how less than ten hours after the picture was taken, she and William had sex and admitted they wanted to be in a secret relationship.  It wasn’t that they had followed through with that promise now for months.  It was that the picture depicted normalcy.  Her job.  Brendan.  Jason.  William.  It depicted life before masks, before social distancing, before hand sanitizer being more readily available than water, before lining up outside of grocery stores.  It depicted a life that seemed so far in the past.  Giant gathering.  Group photos.  Seeing someone teeth when they smiled.  Putting your arms around another person for a hug.

Now, she found herself alone in a hotel room, within an artificially created bubble, for a hockey team, with no physical contact with the outside world.  Nothing about this was normal.  Nothing.

***

William decided to call Aberdeen.  Everybody was holed up in their rooms unpacking everything they bought, and the hotel was eerily quiet for so many people staying in it.  He figured it was because the hotel was old, and its walls were solid – none of this new construction, shitty craftsmanship.  These building was built by fucking donkeys, as evidence by the photographs in the lobby.  Donkeys and stone; so these walls were thick.  Some of the boys had checked up on him to make sure his PlayStation set up had gone smoothly.  It did.  But William could care less.  

“Hello?” Aberdeen answered her phone.

He could immediately tell she’d been crying.  “What’s wrong, minskatt?”

“These damn pictures they put up in my room,” she admitted immediately – no need to beat around the bush.  “They framed the one we took with Jason and Brendan during the Night With the Blue and White.”

William understood completely how and why that would affect her.  “Yeah, I get it.  They put a bunch of pictures of my family.  Well, my parents and my sisters.”

“No Alex?”

“He’s too ugly to be in a picture,” William deadpanned.  He heard Aberdeen snort slightly on the other end.  He found solace in the fact that he was able to make her laugh.  “The pictures really got to you, huh?”

“It wasn’t just that,” she said.  “Just seeing all the families say goodbye to each other.  I watched John say goodbye to Jace and it made me emotional, but then I saw Jason saying goodbye to his girls and I absolutely lost it,” she revealed.  “I kept it together for the bus ride but the second I got in here and saw these pictures, it was, like, a tidal wave.”

“How can I make it better?” William asked.  He knew this would be hard on her – being in the bubble – and although he cautioned against it, Aberdeen made her own decision at the end of the day, and he respected that.  It didn’t mean the bubble experience would be any better for her, but at least she made the decision herself and she came into it knowing what she was getting herself into.  Aberdeen wasn’t a stupid girl.  Far from it.  

“You wanna just stay on the phone with me?  So I can hear your voice?” she asked timidly.

“Of course,” he answered, equally as softly.  She could practically see and feel his smile through the phone.  “Want to practice your Swedish with me, minskatt?”

***

July 27th, 2020

“A girl?!”

Aberdeen’s ears turned red as she heard the gasp from behind her near the conference room where the Leafs were designated to eat all their meals.  She was apparently a novelty.  Because they had to stay holed up in their hotel rooms for most of the day, unless it was a pre-planned excursion or meal, she hadn’t seen any other women.  It was awful.  And now this.

She looked behind her as discreetly as she could.  She saw two men – boys – wearing New York Islanders t-shirts staring at her.  She recognized them immediately as Mat Barzal and Anthony Beauvillier.  She glared at them.

“Is she here delivering the food?”

“She has a badge, you idiot.”

“You’re telling me she works for the team and they brought her into the bubble?”

She wanted to scream at them.  But she didn’t have to.  Kyle Dubas appeared out of nowhere right beside her, clutching a coffee and a banana.  “Miss Bloom,” he greeted her formally, and loud enough so Mat and Anthony could hear.  “Shanahan is going to need those CORSI stats for Matthews and Tavares after we eat.”  He glanced at them quickly.  “Boys,” he nodded a greeting.

They scurried away.

Aberdeen looked at Kyle.  “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“Does Shanny really need those CORSI stats?” she asked.

“No,” Kyle shook his head.  “I said that so they wouldn’t fuck with you.”

***

July 28th, 2020

Aberdeen was waiting for the exhibition game to start.  Yet again, she was experiencing her second exhibition game for a hockey team she never thought she would work for, let alone for this long.  She was in their usual box with Kyle and Brendan, but it felt different.  No fans.  No other personnel.  The only other people around were the extra players sitting in the seats below them.  The media was around somewhere, but nowhere near her.  The boys were warming up on the ice.  

“You okay?” Brendan asked as he looked at her.

Aberdeen nodded.  “Are you?”

“As okay as I can be,” he shrugged.  “I don’t get nervous about exhibition games.”

“Did you think I’d be here long enough for two sets of exhibition games?” Aberdeen asked, wiggling her eyebrows slightly.  

He huffed, giving her a joking look.  She began giggling.  “To be honest…no.”

“Yeah, me neither.  Don’t worry.”

***

Thirty-three seconds into the first period, Ilya Mikheyev scored off a pass from John Tavares that Aberdeen had seen one hundred times in training camp.  She smiled wide.  

Hockey was back.

[unholyobsessions]

Oblivious Memories

Pairing: Julie x Luke

Description: The Universe is in charge of soulmates and making sure they meet. They have never met anyone as oblivious as Julie and Luke. 

Read on ao3

Warnings: none 

Word Count: 2.3k 

Masterlist

For my jatp secret valentine @vividblues262 I hope you enjoy this and you have a as good of a time reading it as I had writing it. thank you to @screwunsaidemily for organizing this! @jatpsecretvalentine​

The Universe is a powerful being. They create many great and beautiful things but the one they are revered most for, is soulmates. Each person is assigned someone who they are meant to be with. One just isn’t complete without their other half. 

According to everyone, you just know who your soulmate is. There is no specific experience. Some claim to see a string connect their wrists, others say it’s like seeing color for the first time, and others say it feels like your heart stops beating only for it to start again with the same beat as their person. 

Each soulmate meeting is unique, and the Universe admits, each pair is different. Some more stubborn than others to meet their person. So getting some people together is harder than others. 

But the Universe has never had a harder, more oblivious pair than Julie Molina and Luke Patterson. 

. . .

Julie Molina hasn’t met her soulmate but she doesn’t worry, she knows it will happen when the time is right. She traces the tattoo on her forearm, the black music notes that stand out against her white t-shirt, as she lets her mind drift on the topic.  

Julie doesn’t know what she’ll experience but she hopes it will be memorable. 

Lost in thought, she doesn’t hear the footsteps echoing down the hall and toward her room until the door slams open. 

Flynn stomps in, fingers plugging her ears and Carrie follows behind her, clearly annoyed at her girlfriend’s antics. 

“Damn it Flynn just listen to me!” Carrie exclaims. “Julie tell her to listen to me!” 

Julie simply stares at her two best friends, rolling her eyes and shrugging her shoulders. Flynn won’t listen to her and whatever Carrie did to get her to act childish is not her problem. 

“La la la la la,” Flynn chants, getting louder with each word. And Julie had promised herself a long time ago that she would not get involved in their fights. They’re soulmates and should know how to figure it out themselves, but Flynn hasn’t been in her room for two minutes and she’s already getting on her nerves. 

Julie stands with a sigh, walking over to Flynn and yanking her arms apart. “Flynn! Stop yelling,” she commands. Flynn immediately pouts and starts mumbling about Julie being unfair and taking sides. 

Julie ignores her best friend and turns to Carrie, who has already made herself comfortable on the beanbag next to her desk. “What’s going on?” Carrie starts explaining what happened between her and Flynn but Julie shakes her head to stop her. “No not that. I mean why are you here? I thought you guys were busy today.” 

Flynn pulls her arms from Julie’s grip and goes to sit next to Carrie, seemingly forgetting that they were arguing not five minutes ago. “We were busy, but then the museum got boring so we decided to come here to drag you out of your room. We’re getting coffee.” Flynn isn’t asking, and Julie has learned to recognize when she won’t win. So, she pushes her feet into a pair of sneakers, too lazy to untie and retie the shoe laces, and slips on a cardigan over her dress. 

Julie shouts a goodbye to her dad and linking her arms with her friends’, they all make their way to their favorite coffee shop a few streets away. It’s crowded, as it usually is on Saturday afternoons. The tables are filled with students typing away at their computers, attempting to finish essays at the last minute. The booths are filled with friends, gossiping and laughing together. Julie is dragged to the counter, where she orders her usual vanilla iced latte, smiling politely at the barista. 

Leaning against Carrie’s side, Julie looks around the shop as she waits for her drink. She finds herself looking at the corner booth, crowded with four boys discussing something she couldn’t quite hear. One of them is hunched over a notebook, lip between his teeth and pencil tight in his hands. Julie stares, intrigued by the brunette. He lifts his head, eyes closed and mumbles something under his breath. When he opens his eyes, they stare right at Julie and she feels her stomach twist with embarrassment. Before she can turn away and try to forget the interaction ever happened, he smiles at her and goes back to writing in his notebook. 

Julie’s stomach twists again, but with a completely different feeling. Flynn snaps her out of her daze by placing her iced latte in her hands. Julie thanks her and allows herself to be dragged outside, rolling her eyes when Flynn says that she wants a new jean jacket. Conversation distracts her as she walks away, not allowing her to dwell on the foreign feeling. 

The Universe frowns down at them. What just happened? They’ve been putting both of them in the same rooms for years and they never even acknowledged each other’s presence. And when they do, they ignore each other? Did they not feel it? The pull toward their soulmate? 

The Universe sighs, frustrated. They will have to work a little harder on this pair. 

. . .

A week later, Julie is at the mall with Flynn, helping her find a pair of sneakers to match the jacket she bought the week before. The store they’re in is small, with white walls and red accents. It’s inviting, so it’s no wonder this is the first one they visit. Julie makes a beeline for the benches, and tells Flynn where to find her when she is ready to model the shoes she’s chosen, if she finds any that ‘call to her.’ 

She scrolls through her phone, mindlessly liking posts on instagram, leaving a comment here and there and entering a couple of giveaways. A loud laugh makes her head snap up and her heart flutter. She doesn’t recognize the voice but there is a yearning within her that she doesn’t recognize. Twisting her head, trying to find the source of the beautiful noise she sees the guy from the coffee shop with an arm slung over his leather jacket clad friend.

His smile is blinding and Julie doesn’t want to look away, no matter how much she knows she should. He says something back to his friend that causes the dark haired male to push the brunette away. The push lands him in Julie’s way as he stumbles into the bench. 

On instinct, Julie grasps his arm in order to stop him from hitting the floor. Their eyes meet and Julie’s heart screams, but neither attempt to make a move, or even speak to each other. 

The Universe smiles. Finally. Nothing can get in between them now. They’re in front of each other. They’re touching. They have to know. But then. 

Flynn’s voice reverberates across the store as she says that nothing spoke to her. Willing herself to stand up, Julie averts her gaze and walks away, not understanding why her chest feels like it will burst open with every step she takes.

The Universe could scream. Just how hard will they have to try to get these two idiots together. They didn’t make a mistake. There is no such thing as soulmates who aren’t meant to be, whether they be platonic or romantic. No, these two are just too dense and oblivious for their own good. 

Time for plan C, the Universe decides.  

. . .

The club is packed. Sweaty bodies push against her and Julie crinkles her nose. She doesn’t normally frequent clubs, especially places as packed as this one, but Flynn and Carrie dragged her out tonight (as they do every weekend) because apparently this up and coming band is playing tonight and they are sure that she will love them. 

Julie doesn’t doubt that she will, there is hardly a genre of music that she doesn’t enjoy, but she much prefers to listen to them from the comfort of her room, or anywhere else that doesn’t require her to interact with drunk people who keep pushing her. 

She is not really listening to Flynn and Carrie’s conversation, only nodding whenever it seems appropriate. It isn’t long till the lights dim even more than before and a spotlight lights up the stage. Four guys jog up the steps and the crowd screams joyfully. 

They all get ready and as soon as the drummer counts them in, the song starts. The lead singer looks up and Julie stops breathing. He starts singing and her sight goes black. Suddenly, memories that she is sure aren’t hers start flashing before her. 

A young boy getting his first guitar. 

Him meeting his friends and making a pact with them.

The same boy, older now, writing his first song. 

The boy laying on his bed, fingers brushing against the tattoo on his forearm, identical to hers.

Starting a band with his best friends, his brothers. 

She sees him fight with his mom, loose a relationship so important to him.

She sees him breakdown as he pedals down the street.

He’s there at the mall, the record store, the ice cream parlor, the bowling alley. 

He’s always there. Moments she’s shared with the people in her life, he’s always there. So close but just out of reach. 

Then it’s him meeting her eyes at the coffee shop. Their moment at the shoe store. 

The pictures start flashing faster now and it’s harder for Julie to make out what they are but what is clear to her is that it’s her, growing old with the brunette. With Luke. 

His name is Luke, and he is her soulmate. 

And even though she has never heard their music before, she starts singing. The lyrics of the song written by Luke coming naturally to her. It’s the first time she’s sang in over a year and it feels like a breath of fresh air. 

Luke suddenly can’t hear anything. His bandmate’s instruments fade out and all he seems to be able to hear is an angel-like voice, coming from somewhere in the crowd. 

His eyes search for the source and once he locks eyes with the girl his vision goes black. 

He sees a girl, sitting next to her mother on a piano bench as she makes an attempt to play. 

Then he sees her again, sitting with another girl on the playground, and as all the other kids are playing, they’re performing a song. 

The girl is older now, playing the piano keys in a perfect melody. Her mom is still sitting next to her and she’s smiling down at her. 

She’s in the hospital, carrying her little brother for the first time.

The girl is sitting on the piano again, this time alone and there are tears streaming down her face. 

He sees her loose her mom and therefore her music. He sees her not even hum for over a year. 

Then he sees himself, walking past her, not noticing her. She’s everywhere. That time at the beach with Reggie, she was there, playing with her family. 

His walks down sunset boulevard with her only a few feet away. How could he not notice her? How could he possibly miss her when she shines brighter than anything in the world?

But he notices her now, and he will keep noticing her in the future, as images of her growing old with him and making music together flash before him. 

He comes back to reality to see her still looking at him, singing, and he realizes that he missed his cue, but he doesn’t care, because nothing matters more than the beautiful girl, Julie, who has taken his breath away. 

Julie, his soulmate. 

His tattoo stings and he winces, finally breaking eye contact with Julie to look down. The music notes are glowing and when he looks back up he notices Julie’s are too. 

The music continues and he wonders if everyone is witnessing the moment or if only him and Julie can see. His next verse is coming up and he knows he can’t miss another one so he leans forward to his mic and starts singing, not taking his eyes off of Julie. 

She stares right back, singing the lyrics loudly and passionately. The show continues much the same and if he were to ask anyone, they would say it is the damn best he has ever played. Once it’s over he runs off stage and out the back door, planning to make his way to the front of the bar. He runs down the alleyway and crashes hard into another body. 

Lifting his arms to steady the person, his heart stops. She’s there, standing in front of him, looking up through her lashes and he does the most drastic and impulsive thing he has ever done. 

He kisses her. He kisses her because he is so sure that he would die on the spot if he didn’t. And Julie kisses him back.

Luke cups the back of her neck as she tangles her fingers in his hair. After a couple of seconds, or maybe years, they pull away. 

“Hi,” he whispers. 

“Hi,” Julie responds. 

“I’m Luke,” his voice is much too breathy, and he is still attempting to get his lungs to work properly. 

“Julie,” she doesn’t sound much better. 

They both smile and then burst out laughing. 

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say,” Luke admits once he has calmed down. 

Julie shakes her head. “I would say that we should get to know each other but I just saw your whole life played out, which by the way I have never heard of it happening.” 

Luke’s smile widens. “Well I have also never heard of soulmates meeting and not realizing they are soulmates so I think we’re just special.” 

“Yeah,” Julie says resting her head against his chest and listening to the beat of his heart matching hers. “I think we’re special too.” 

The Universe leans back, smiling down at the pair. They were a hard one, possibly the hardest they’ve ever had to do. But as they study them, already falling in love with each other without having to even say much, they know that it was worth it. The Universe wasn’t ready for Julie Molina and Luke Patterson, but they are now and the whole world better get ready. 

[luke-patterson-owns-my-soul]

Tiny Pretty Phantoms

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Title: Tiny Pretty Phantoms

Words: 2241 (only a short one)

Summary: Charlie and his girlfriend are separated by work.

Requested: Sort of. The lovely and talented @dream-a-little-bigger-x​ got this request. Charlie x reader where the reader is on a tv show like ahs or something that’s not necessarily “kid friendly”. But as she’s not taking them atm, I decided to swipe this one. I hope the anon who requested it doesn’t mind.

TW: Swearing, alluding to sexual intercourse. That’s it I think. If I miss anything, message me so I can edit.

Author’s notes: I’m baccccckkkk. This was my way of getting back into writing reader fic. It’s been a while, and I hope y’all haven’t forgotten me. Also, while I’ve seen Tiny Pretty Things, I know nothing about the cast, so anything I’ve written, is completely made up.

Being back at home in my parent’s home was both reassuring and strange all at the same time. I’d been living in L.A. for almost two years, hundreds of miles away from home. While I missed my family like crazy, I loved being out in the world, being independent, and chasing my dreams.

However, rejection after rejection after rejection were beginning to weigh heavy on me and I had been starting to regret making the move. I’d been considering heading back home and teaching dance to kids. Then, I met Charlie through a mutual friend.

From the moment I met him, there was something that drew me to him; it wasn’t particularly hard. He was charismatic, funny, and crazy talented. The good looks were an added bonus. From that first meeting, we’d been inseparable and after six months, I gave up my apartment and moved in with Charlie and his friends.

We both booked jobs on upcoming TV shows within a week of one another, and we’d celebrated the news hard. A week of partying with your friends had wrecked the apartment, but it had totally been worth it. The main difference between our shows were the target audience. His, Julie and the Phantoms was aimed at a younger demographic to mine, Tiny Pretty Things. I was just glad to be using my ballet background as well as my acting abilities. He was also playing a main character, while I was to be in the background.

I was jolted from my memories by my phone ringing, Charlie’s face filling the screen. With a smile, I answered the facetime call.

“Hey, you.”

“Hey, babe. I miss you.” Charlie was still in L.A., but he was at a boot camp thing that the legendary Kenny Ortega was running.

“I miss you too. How’s it going?” in answer to my question, he held up his hand. I could see band aids wrapped around his fingers. “What did you do?”

“It’s nothing. Guitar war wounds.”

“Poor baby.” I snarked, grinning at the mock upset look on his face. “Oh please. You’re loving every minute.”

“Babe, I really am.” His grin was wide. “When do you fly out to Toronto?”

“Not for another three weeks. I’m back in L.A. the day after tomorrow though. Will I get to see you?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure if we get any time off before we head up to Vancouver for filming.”

I couldn’t help the groan that escaped me. I hadn’t seen him for over two weeks, and I was going insane. It was one of the reasons behind my trip to see my family. They were enough to distract me, at least until I climbed into my childhood bed, the bed that only held me at night. That was when I missed him the most.

“That sucks.” I felt the lump in my throat, an indication I was close to tears.

“I know, babe. I know. I’m gonna try and get back, even if it’s just one night.”

“Please do.” I missed him, missed waking up next to him, missed just goofing around and hanging out with him. He was the man I loved, and I hated us being apart.

:: ::

I’d been in Toronto for almost six weeks. A month and a half had passed since I last saw Charlie, and it was killing me. It wasn’t as if I was alone, far from it. I may not have been playing a main character, but the entire cast of Tiny Pretty Things were close, even those of us in the background. We’d all been put through our dancing paces until we were exhausted – that had a habit of bringing people together.

Charlie and I spoke most days, if we could, and when we did, we were often interrupted by cast mates. Through our facetime calls I became friends with Jeremy, Owen, and Madison, and he became friends with the girls I was rooming with, and Brendan who played Shane. He and I had been partnered up during rehearsals and had become close. It didn’t bother him I wasn’t a main character and he was.

I had a rare night off while the main cast were working hard on some night scenes, so I was able to kick back in my room and relax. And I made the most of it. While a hot bath was running, I connected my phone up to my speaker and hit play on a relaxing playlist Charlie had made for me before we’d had to say our goodbyes and fly to opposite end of Canada.

I’d just sank into the steaming water, bubbles up to my chin when my phone rang. Reaching over, I managed to pick it up, and saw Charlie’s face on the screen. Quickly swiping, I answered the call, despite wanting to stare at the photo I’d taken almost a year ago when we’d gone camping.

“Well, if I’d have known you were in the tub, I would have called sooner.” He grinned as he spoke, making me roll my eyes.

“Charles Gillespie, you’re a damn perv.” I attempted to scold him as he pretended to try and look around the screen to see if he could see anything. Joke was on him, the bubbles came up to my neck.

“Only for you.” I laughed at the corny line. “Hey, why are you in the bath anyways?”

“Because I ache like a motherfucker and I don’t have any night shoots tonight. So, a hot bath is in order. I’ve been dancing almost non-stop for ten hours a day for six weeks. I never did this much when I was with the company.” I knew I was whining; knew I sounded like a petulant child, but I needed to get it off my chest. All of us in the cast moaned to one another, but it wasn’t the same as venting to my boyfriend, no matter how much I loved my job.

“I’m sorry, babe. If I could take the aches away, I would.” I knew he would too.

“I know. Ignore me, I shouldn’t be putting this on you. How’s your set?”

We chatted for almost an hour, Charlie making me laugh about his previous night’s filming eating what he said felt like hundreds of cold hot dogs, making me laugh so much, my stomach was starting to hurt when I climbed out of the bath – much to his enjoyment – and wrapped myself up in a large, soft towel. We carried on talking as I made my way into my room and got myself ready for bed.

“Look, I gotta go. But I’ll call you tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” I couldn’t help but sigh when the call ended, and as I snuggled up in bed, wearing one of his t-shirts, I also couldn’t help crying. It was the longest we’d been apart in over six months, and even though I was loving my job, it hurt how much I missed him.

:: ::

When I walked onto set the following day, it felt as if everyone was acting a little shifty. No one seemed to look at me directly and whenever I initiated a conversation, they either found something else to do, or the director made us begin working.

“Hey, we’re all going out for dinner and karaoke tonight. Make sure you look pretty.” Brendan whispered in my ear as we got into position in the ballet class, ready for our scene.

“Uh, okay. Sure.” He gave me a smile before walking away.

We’d all be out a few times during filming and the rehearsals we’d had before, but this was the first I’d heard about plans for tonight. Rolling my neck and stretching my arms, I put it out of my mind as I followed the instructions of the director as the scene began around me.

By the end of the day, I was yet again exhausted, and the last thing I wanted to do was go out. But, as I packed up my gear, putting my comfiest shoes on, Brendan came over.

“Don’t forget we’re going out. We’re all meeting up in about an hour. Make yourself pretty.”

“Can I give it a miss? I’m ready to have a shower and crawl into bed.” He knew how I was feeling, I could see it etched onto his face too.

“Not tonight, sweetheart. Attendance is mandatory for all.” He flashed me a wide smile before spinning away from me, no doubt off to get ready.

When I got back to the apartment I was sharing with a couple of the other female background cast, they were almost ready. The three of them ushered me into the bathroom to shower, telling me to find a nice dress.

The shower did reinvigorate me, and by the time I was dressed and applying my make-up, I was feeling much better, and was even looking forward to some great food and a good night. There were no shoots the next day, so we were able to let our hair down for the night.

When we all met up, the atmosphere was electric. We’d all worked so hard, and were more than ready for a night of not having to worry about getting up early or having to be in hair and make-up at the crack of dawn.

“Ready for a great night?” Brendan asked, linking arms with me as our huge group began to walk to a restaurant nearby we’d all been to on more than one occasion.

“I am actually. Thanks for making me come.”

“No worries, sweetheart.” He placed a kiss on the top of my head before turning to talk to the two guys behind us.

:: ::

Moving from the restaurant after dinner, we all made our way to a club where all of us were able to let go. I got myself a drink from the bar, and stood on the edge of the dance floor, watching my cast mates and friends having the time of their life, showing off their dancing skills. Laughing, I finished my drink, I put my empty glass down and joined them, losing myself in the deep bass. Brendan was in the center, lapping up the attention in a way only he could. He and Barton, who played Oren in the show, were busting out one of their routines from the show and had attracted a hell of a crowd.

As everyone whooped and hollered, I moved away, needing to head to the bathroom. I pulled my phone out of my purse to check if I’d missed any messages or calls from Charlie, but my screen was blank beyond a photo of the two of us. Disappointment flooded me as I shoved the phone back into my purse. Just as I zipped it up, I crashed into someone, strong hands grabbing my waist to stop me falling over.

Thinking my mind was playing tricks on me as my senses were invaded by the aroma of Charlie, the aroma I knew as well as my own. I looked up to find my boyfriend smiling down at me.

“What… how… huh?”

“Surprise, by airplane, Brendan organized it. Hew knew you were missing me as much as I missed you, So Kenny gave me a couple days off while Madi does some scenes with Jadah.”

“You’re really here?” I still wasn’t sure I was hallucinating.

“I’m really here, until tomorrow afternoon.”

With a squeal, I flung my arms around his neck, and kissed him. The evening suddenly got one hundred percent better.

:: ::

Waking up wrapped up in Charlie’s arms was the best thing. I’d missed it so much, and I knew I was going to struggle when he had to leave again, but I felt so happy being with him.

After he’d surprised me at the club, we’d mingled with my friends for a while before slinking away, going back to the apartment and making the most of the quiet as we got reacquainted with one another, multiple times, all night. So much so that when I managed to untangle myself from Charlie’s arms and legs to go to the bathroom, I ached in a completely different way I had been from work.

Once I was finished in the bathroom, I swiped my phone off the counter in the kitchen and sent a text to Brendan.

Thank you. I owe you one.

Once it had sent, I set the phone down and crawled back into bed with Charlie, making the most of having him with me. Especially naked.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Tagging: (strikethrough unable to tag) @dream-a-little-bigger-x​​ @calamitykaty​ @crybabyddl​​ @xplrreylo​ @morganayennefertyrell​ @lovesanimals​​ @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve​ @echocharm17618​​ @kinda-really-lost @n0wornever​ @all-in-fangirl​ @5sosmukefan​ @kcd15​ @charliesmountains @amazinggracy​ 

If you want to be added to my taglist, drop me a message.

[madsthewordclown]

Four Walls | Sokka

warning: just lots of fluff because I wanted to

pairing: sokka x reader, modern au

summary: Quarantine is stressful, but Sokka’s a pretty great roommate to be stuck with. 

Y’all, this is my first fic I’ve ever written and I apologize in advance, and thank you for bearing with me. 

          “Traditionally, you’re meant to cook the noodles.” Sokka pretends not to hear you. Or maybe he really can’t hear you over the loud crunching of uncooked penne. There’s an empty jar of sauce on the table across from where he sits, crunching down dry noodles like its chips. You walk over to get a bottle of water from the fridge and notice two of your reusable milkshake straws sitting in the sink. Looking back the jar of sauce, you shudder.

           “Traditionally, the noodles aren’t meant to be whole-grain,” Sokka answers finally, as if the situation he is in is completely normal. The box of pasta now sits empty on the table, and he’s grinning from ear to ear. “How was work?”

         “Fine,” you answer. “Can I ask why you didn’t just boil the noodles? Weren’t they awful?” You know you’re deflecting about work, but it’s not a big deal. The restaurant had only just started to reopen, and you only got one or two shifts a week, but dealing with customers felt more grueling than ever. You knew Sokka missed having something to do, so you couldn’t complain too much.

           “Cooking them is too much work, Y/N,” Sokka replies matter-of-factly, “and they were awful, but I had to finish what I started.”

           Quarantine is not treating either of you well. For you, the strain manifests itself much more quietly; you haven’t been sleeping very well, and you get headaches more frequently than normal. For Sokka, it’s this. You don’t know how much orange juice he’s consumed straight from the carton, but it can’t be good for his teeth. Drinking tomato sauce can’t be too good, either, although he somehow manages to maintain his good looks nonetheless.

           “Katara called while you were gone,” Sokka mentions as you plunk yourself down in the chair across from him.

           “She did?” You frown. You and Sokka didn’t get too many calls from his sister or any of your other friends anymore. When quarantine started, you had frequent group calls and virtual game nights, but over time, they kind of fizzled out. You missed seeing everyone’s faces. While Sokka was a great friend and a great roommate, you couldn’t help but wish you were all under the same roof.

           “Yeah,” Sokka continues, standing up and picking up the empty pasta box and jar. He’s wearing khaki shorts and a Hawaiian shirt; it may be fit for a Midwestern dad, but at least he put on a full outfit today. Quarantine hasn’t exactly required it. “She’s scheduling a movie night for this Saturday. You’re off work, right? I tried to see if you sent me your schedule, I wanted to make sure you didn’t miss it.”

           “Yeah, I only worked today and then Friday this week,” you say excitedly. “Is everyone joining?”

           “Suki can’t make it,” Sokka shrugged, walking across the kitchen to rinse out the jar, “but Zuko and Toph will be there. And Katara and Aang, obviously.”

           You kick your shoes off under the table and feel the tension in your feet ease slightly as Sokka turns on the faucet. Your shift was busy, considering the circumstances. You yawn. “What movie are we watching?”

           “I don’t know, some indie film she and Aang found,” Sokka says, turning off the water and bending down to put the jar and box in the hot pink recycling tub you keep under the sink. Katara had brought it in one day after learning that Sokka didn’t recycle. You could still hear her telling him off about plastics in the ocean. She had been very pleased when she saw your small collection of reusable grocery bags. Good guys recycle, Sokka. Right, Y/N?

           “What’s with the outfit?” You can’t help but say. You notice that Sokka is wearing tennis shoes without socks along with his vacation ensemble. He grins at you again, blue eyes sparkling as he begins walking toward the door to his room.

           “Setting trends, Y/N/,” he laughs, “get with the program.”

           You wake up at four in the morning, again. You know before you’ve even opened your eyes that you are awake way too early; it’s happened at least three times in the last two weeks. You slowly peek your eyes open and pick up your phone, flinching as the bright light hits your face. 4:08. You sigh.

           You slowly pull yourself out of bed and easily leave your room without needing the lights, but the main room is more difficult. You have no clue what you and Sokka have left out on the floor in the last few days. You put one arm straight out in front of you to detect obstacles, and curse to yourself about leaving your phone on the nightstand.

           You carefully walk by what you think is the couch and swing your arm none too gently to find it. To your surprise, you hit something that definitely isn’t the couch.

           “Ow!” a voice cries out. You let out a scream, and jump back, falling on the carpeted floor with a thump. “Whoa,” Sokka says, and you feel relief flood over you. It’s just Sokka. You try to let your heartbeat slow down. “Are you okay?”

           Sokka must have gotten up and found the light switch. You see him in the corner of the room, his hair pulled up, and wearing his same Hawaiian shirt, but with basketball shorts. An even more atrocious outfit. You laugh to yourself as you continue to get your bearings. Sokka makes his way over to where you sit behind the couch and offers a hand to help you up. You take it.

           “You scared the shit out of me,” you say shakily as he helps you to your feet.

           “I’m sorry,” Sokka says sincerely. “I didn’t think you’d be up. Could you not sleep?”

           You shake your head. Sokka doesn’t press; just nods. “What were you doing in here?” You ask.

           “Same thing, but it’s probably because I drank too much coffee after dinner.”

           “How much coffee is too much?” Sokka just shakes his head slowly.

           “Too much, Y/N.” He looks at the ground for a moment. “Want to watch a show or something?”

           It becomes a routine for the next few days; watching shitty cartoons and soap operas with Sokka whenever you wake up in the night. He’s somehow awake every time, and you try not to dwell on it. You’re not one to talk. It’s nice, sitting with him and watching something that lets you not think for a while. That’s your problem; overthinking about anything and everything. You get to forget about work, where a customer coughing sends you into such a spiral that you have to spend ten minutes in the back room to calm down. You’re looking forward to it when you get home from your Friday shift.

           Sokka is in his room when you arrive, close to 11, even though your shift was meant to end at 10. You pull your shoes off as soon as you’re in the door and drop your purse on the floor, not even bothering to get to the kitchen table or couch before you’re lying on the carpet and staring at the ceiling. You don’t even hear it when Sokka comes out of his room and stands over you.

           “That bad, huh?” He says simply. You try not to notice the sympathy in his eyes, or the way his brow softens when he looks at you. You just nod your head and try to block out the echoing yells of an angry mom that you served earlier, and the mere $25_ _you brought home for tips after hours on your feet, working in a pandemic hellscape.

           Instead of trying to coax you up off the ground, Sokka disappears into the kitchen, the counter obscuring your view. You can hear him open and close a cupboard before he reappears, a bag of Doritos in hand.

           You can’t stop the shocked look on your face as Sokka slowly sits down next to you and then leans back on the floor. The bag of chips crinkles as he opens it and sets it on the floor between you. You wordlessly take out a few chips and start snacking. Even though Sokka has only been your roommate for a few months, you’re still impressed by how perceptive he is. He always seems to know what to do to make you feel better. You feel bad that you can’t do the same for him.

           Sokka talks about his latest project for his online summer class. It’s something to do with engineering, and you try to listen, but he gets to talking so fast and excitedly that you can’t keep up. You don’t understand most of what he’s saying anyway, but you like listening to him talk. Katara says he can’t shut up, and most of the time she’s right, but you like his passion.

           Between the two of you, you manage to finish the whole bag of Doritos. You can tell your air conditioning has shut off again when the blistering July heat begins to creep in, and that’s when you make the executive decision that it’s time to get off the floor. You turn to your side and are surprised to discover that Sokka is looking at you, and he’s not talking. You don’t know when he stopped, but you already miss it.

           “Are you sure you’re okay?” Sokka whispers, so quietly that you almost wonder if he said it at all, but he’s looking at you for an answer, his blue eyes boring into you.

           “Yeah,” you answer equally as quietly, your voice hoarse after lying silent for so long. You bite your lip and let your hand fall between you and Sokka. You ask something you should’ve asked a while ago. “What about you?”

           Sokka glances away for a moment and sighs. “I just miss people, you know?” You nod. He continues. “We haven’t seen Katara in, I don’t know, two months? I know we don’t always get along, but I miss her, and I know that she has to be careful, we all have to be careful, but that doesn’t make it less hard, y’know?

           “And it’s not just our friends, or even my dad or anything. Just people. I miss being around people, and not having any sort of outlet, you know? Just four walls.”

           “And little-old-me,” you add jokingly. Sokka rolls his eyes.

           “Four walls and you,” he amends. You try to ignore the rush you feel when he lets his hand brush against your own.

           “Want to watch a show or something?”

           Saturday night can’t come soon enough, and when you come out of your room after your shower, you’re surprised and excited to see that Sokka has gone all out with the movie night. The movie has to be streamed on the computer, so Sokka has his laptop set up on the coffee table, ready to go. You smell the popcorn he has popping in the microwave.

           “Ready for the best quarantine movie ever?” He greets, then jumps as the popcorn begins to pop almost aggressively in the microwave.

           “Of course,” you reply, hopping yourself over the back of the couch and pulling the throw blanket there over yourself. “I can’t wait to see everybody. It’s been too long.”

           Sokka is careful not to burn the popcorn and even goes as far as to dump it out of the bag and into an actual bowl for the two of you. He comes over and takes a seat next to you; you’ve both opted for sweatpants, as you both tend to do even though it’s the middle of summer. It’s not like you’re leaving the house, although Sokka still complains about the heat sometimes.

           You hop onto the voice call with the others at exactly 8 o’clock. Zuko is already there, of course, as well as Katara and Aang. It only takes Toph a few seconds to join after you.

           “Hi, guys!” Katara exclaims, waving at her camera. She’s already pressed up against Aang’s side on the sofa in their apartment, and he’s leaning his head on her shoulder. Their huge white dog, Appa, can just barely be seen at the bottom of the screen, laying across their laps.

           “Hey, Katara!” You respond excitedly, leaning in closer to the camera. “I miss you guys so much!”

           “Hey, Sokka, how’s your class going?” Zuko asks. Immediately, Sokka begins a tangent about whatever his latest project is. Zuko matches his enthusiasm with talk about his screenwriting class.

           “Nerds,” Toph mutters, crossing her arms. You laugh.

           “You guys ready to start the movie?” Zuko says. Aang gives a thumbs up into the webcam.

           “Flameo, hotman.”

           The movie is, of course, frequently interrupted by you and your friends’ commentary. Sokka has had to shush you multiple times, as you keep leaning over and whispering dumb observations and jokes in his ear. You aren’t one to take any movie too seriously, and this indie film is no exception. But you don’t think Aang would appreciate your comments, since he looks like he’s about to tear up as he leans into Katara before the movie is even halfway through.

           “Sokka, you look pretty cozy,” Katara giggles suddenly. You didn’t realize it, but now that you were paying attention, you could feel Sokka’s side pressed up against you as you both leaned in to better see the laptop screen. You can see now that his arm is draped over the couch behind you.

           “What? What’s happening?” Toph asks, and Zuko starts to laugh a little bit. To your surprise, Sokka doesn’t pull away.

           “I am, thanks,” he says, trying to be nonchalant, but still letting a sheepish smile sneak past his lips.

           “Okay, then,” Katara smiles, refocusing on the movie. Your heart flutters a bit as you remember where you are. With Sokka. Your roommate. Who you don’t need to have feelings for, but you think you might be doing it anyway.

           You feel your eyes getting droopier as the movie goes on, and you don’t really pay attention anymore. Before you know it, you can’t seem to get your eyes open anymore, and the sounds of the movie and your friends’ laughter fades away.

           You wake up to the sound of laughter. The movie is gone, and the screen is entirely taken up by your friends’ faces.

           “Oh, look,” Zuko says, “sleepy head’s finally awake.”

           “Shut up,” you groan. You didn’t even realize you had fallen asleep until the moment, and you hadn’t realized that you had fallen asleep… on Sokka. Your head rested on his shoulder, and his right arm was around you. One of your hands was resting on his lap. Your friends started laughing again, and you jerked your hand away, but didn’t quite sit up. You still felt too tired for that.

           “Well, we should probably go,” Katara said finally, although Aang was already definitely half asleep on her shoulder. Zuko and Toph muttered something similar, and everyone said their goodbyes. Sokka reached with his left arm to exit the call but left the laptop on.

           You feel Sokka gently grab your hand as your eyes start to drift shut once again, sleep too tempting to refuse. You feel him lean down and whisper in your ear, always careful, “Is this okay?”

           You nod into his shoulder, and you feel him breathe a sigh of relief as he rests his head on yours. It would always be okay. And you didn’t need to talk about it yet, although you’d have to eventually. For tonight, though, while the world raged on, it was just you and him, and the four walls of your apartment. And while the months of quarantine seemed to stretch on forever, you knew you had someone to hold on to.

[rowanwhitethornisbae]

Liabilities Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry for taking so long for this next update!! Warnings for this are the same as all other chapters. Beware this is heavy chapter! I promise it pretty much goes completely uphill from here. 

liabilities masterlist

Rowan Whitethorn had never been this bored in his entire life. Or at least since 8 o clock, when Aelin had kissed his cheek and abandoned him to suffer through calculus all alone. She had been bouncing on her toes all morning, nervous beyond belief about seeing Lorcan for the first time since they'd slept together. Rowan had tried to calm her nerves while simaltaneously trying not to vomit and the thought of his two friends doing ... well that.

Now, he was sitting in the back of Mr. Faliq's class, doodling aimlessly on the front of his textbook. Math had never been Rowan's best subject anyway. Infact, the only reason he'd taken it was so that he and Aelin might have at least one class together. With her wanting to be a doctor and him wanting to be a lawyer, their senior year courses didnt exactly cross over. Unfourtunately, it hadnt worked out, and Rowan had a whole semester to suffer through whatever this was without his best friend beside him.

Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, the bell to signal the end of first period sounded throughout the room. Rowan was out of his seat and across the room before the rest of class had even begun packing their books. Once he was out in the hallway, he felt like he could finally breathe again. Rowan really needed to think about dropping that course, he'd even take art at this point. An image popped into his head of the last thing he'd tried to paint, a picture for Aelin that had turned into more of a brown blob than anything. Laughing, he walked down the hall towards Aelin's class. Students were beginning to pour out of classrooms and he spotted his friends down the hall.

They were standing by Lorcan's locker, the tall male leaning his head against the wall. He looked positively miserable as he toyed with the strap of his bag, doing practicaly anything to avoid Aelin's gaze. Still, she was looking right at him, gesturing wildly with her hands. Rowan hung back for a moment to watch, not wanting to interupt. After a few more seconds of talking to no one, Aelin socked Lorcan in the arm. Rowan could almost here him groan as he finally looked down at Aelin. She looked relieved as she launched into speaking all over again. When she was done, Aelin paused, apprehension shining in her eyes. Lorcan hesitated a moment before sighing and folding her into his arms. Her shoulders slumped with relief as she hugged him back. When they finally pulled away, Aelin was positively beaming and Rowan couldn't hold back the smile that tugged at his lips in response.

Still smiling, Aelin grabbed Lorcan's hand and pulled him down the hall towards Rowan. Just before they got withing hearing distance Aelin said something to Lorcan that made his head tip back in laughter. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, they reached Rowan.

They stopped infront of him and Lorcan looked up at Rowan slowly. Aelin surveyed the two males tentatively, as if preparing to seperate a fight.

"Hey." Lorcan said at last, his low voice rougher than normal.

"Hey." Rowan replied, nodding his head slightly.

Just as the silence became unbearably thick, a cheerful voice broke through the haze.

"Hey guys." Fenrys said, throwing his arm around Aelin. "I haven't seen any of you since the party, how were your weekends?"

"Totally normal." Aelin blurted at the same time that Lorcan said. "Nothing special."

Fenrys brows narrowed but he didnt push it. "Um okay. What about you Rowan?"

"Shitty." He admitted, avoiding anyone but Fenrys' gaze.

"Aw sorry about that man. I saw you leave the party alone, that sucks. It's been a while since you got laid huh."

Rowan couldnt stop the blush forming. "Uh yeah I dont know, I guess it depends on your definition of a while."

"Wasn't the last one Remelle?" Fenrys asked. Gods sometimes he just wanted to punch Fenrys out.

"Remelle." Aelin blurted. "Rowan that was all the way back in July. Its been like three months."

He was definetly blushing now. Remelle had been his last failed attempt at getting over his being in love with Aelin. He’d thrown up as soon as he’d left their room and from that moment on just touching other women had made him feel slightly nauseous. 

“Yeah well I just haven't really clicked with anyone since I guess.” He stumbled over his words. Lorcan was shooting him a knowing look that Rowan pointedly ignored. 

“Whatever.” Fenrys said shrugging. “Where’d you two disappear off too. I could've used some help with clean up.” 

Instantly all three of them looked down at their shoes, shoulders tensed. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Rowan decided to put everyone out of their miseries. 

“They fucked.” He said, his voice carefully exempt of any emotion. 

Fenrys mouth fell wide open. “What.” He paused. “Um Wha- How?” At last he sighed. “WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK.” He half yelled. 

A few freshman walking by giggled and scurried down the hall. 

“Well we were both drunk and not really thinking and somehow we ended up in his bed. But we’re good now so let’s just all forget it ever happened okay?” The plea in Aelin’s voice tightened something in Rowan’s chest. 

Fenrys, who was still staring at Lorcan, his jaw practically on the floor, said nothing. Lorcan swore under his breath and grabbed Fenrys, dragging him down the hall away from Aelin and Rowan. Good, let Lorcan deal with his best friend and Rowan would deal with his. 

They walked down the hall in silence for a few seconds. Rowan fought to hold back everything he wanted to say. He could feel their friendship slowly falling apart, like a burning house. Yet he couldn't say or do anything out of fear that the whole thing would come crumbling down with one wrong touch. Instead, he allowed himself to focus on the pattern of footsteps against the school tile floor. He watched Aelin’s hands swing back and forth, shaking violently. 

“Aelin are you okay?” He asked tentatively. 

She jerked her head towards him, then down to her hands, and then back up again. Eyes still on him, she pulled her sweater down to cover her shaking hands. 

“Um yeah its just... well I stopped the drugs and everything very suddenly and it’s a little hard on my body.” 

“How hard.” He asked, concern shining in his bright green eyes. 

“Most people phase out of the shit I did slowly. Stopping it all at once is hard.” 

“That’s not what I asked.” He didn't raise his voice but his tone was firm in the way that demanded answers. 

She took a long breath in through her nose. “Some vomiting, cold chills and sweating, a pounding headache, shaking, a couple fucked up dreams.” 

“So you’re in withdrawal.” 

“Yeah from like three different things at once.” Aelin let out a small laugh, as if this was all funny for her. 

“Do you want me to take you home?” He offered. 

“What no.” She rolled her ankle around in a circle. “I’ll see you at lunch.” 

Then she was gone. 

----------------------

Rowan Whitehorn had thought calculus was the worst class he’d have to suffer through. French, made that course look like a fucking summer breeze. Honestly this class wouldn't even have been that hard if he could speak the language at all. Aelin and him had always wanted to go backpacking through Europe, so when he said he couldn't speak French, she practically signed him up herself. 

“Rowan.” A voice snapped him out of his daze. The principal was standing in the class doorway, panting, as if she’d ran here. The look in her eyes made Rowan’s heart lurch forward in his chest. 

“Yeah,” He said, already walking towards her. 

“Come with me.” Then they were walking swiftly down the hall.

“What’s going on?” A part of him didn't really want an answer. 

The principal swallowed and began jogging down the hall. “It’s Aelin.” 

A part of him had already known. Had wanted it to be false, but known all the same. Still, it didn't stop the panic that seized him so completely, had him practically running down the halls now, feed sliding on the freshly cleaned tile. 

The rounded the corner and Rowan stopped dead on his feet. There, sitting against the wall just outside her art classroom, was Aelin. Her arms were wrapped around her petite frame, as if she could hold herself together. She was shaking uncontrollably, her head buried in her knees. Even from a few metres away, Rowan could hear how she tried and failed to gulp down air. There were no tears on her face, just blind panic. Fenrys was kneeling in front of her, a panicked expression on his face and he tried to calm her down. 

Rowan ignore the small puddle of vomit on the floor as he pushed Fenrys away and kneeled before Aelin. He was close enough now to hear her muttering something, words he couldn't decipher. 

Ever so carefully, he grabbed her violently seizing wrists and pried them from her knees. Her hands were freezing cold, and Rowan resisted the urge to drop them. Instead, he covered them with his own and waited for her to look at him. 

“Aelin” He said softly, failing to hide the pain in his voice. “Look at me love.” 

She didn't. Some of the shaking in her hands had ceased though, becoming more tremors than anything. 

“Aelin everything is going to be okay. I can help you alright. I just need you to look at me.” 

Slowly, so slow that he felt as though time itself had been warped, she lifted those blue eyes to his own. He stared at her broken face, letting her know that he saw every part of her and was not afraid. 

“Just breathe with me.” He took one of her hands and placed it against his chest. “Just like this.” 

He inhaled slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. After a brief second of hesitation, Aelin did the same. 

“Good.” He murmured softly, and repeated the action. “You’re doing so good.” 

He continued to breathe in and out until Aelin’s own breath had steadied. Even then, he refused to remove her hand from his chest. 

At long last, she spoke. “I don't know what happened.” The words came out scratchy. “One second I was painting, green flowers like your eyes. Then someone spilled red paint on the floor. It looked like blood Rowan. Like his blood all over the tile. Suddenly the walls started closing in and I couldn't breathe. There was blood everywhere and he was dying all over again and I just couldn't fucking breathe.” A strangled cry broke from her lips on the last words. 

“We’re going to go home now okay? I’m going to take you home.” He paused to weigh her reaction. She tried to stand up but her legs were shaking so much that it didn't work. Instead, she collapsed back down withe another small broke sob. Rowan’s fucking heart was shattering. 

“Can I pick you up?” He asked. Her small nod was answer enough. Leaning down, he curled one arm under her legs and the other below her neck. Still shaking slightly, she buried her head in his chest, as if hiding from the rest of the world. 

The principal was still staring at them in shock. Fenrys must've gone to get Lorcan who was now watching Rowan and Aelin with pure devastation on his face. “We’ll be by later.” Lorcan said as they passed. 

“Alright.” 

When they reached Rowan’s car, he placed Aelin in the passenger seat before climbing in as well. 

“Thank you.” Her words carried some of that fearless strength and determination he’d missed. “For everything. You have no idea what it means to me. I honestly don't think i’d still be here without you Ro.”

“Anytime.” He tried not to focus on the deja vu of this situation. Tried and failed to forget that it was barely two days ago when he’d placed a shaking Aelin in the front seat of his car. He was always saving her, not that he had minded much before. But now, as they pulled out of the parking lot, Rowan wondered if maybe there was more out there.

--------

tags: 

@queen-of-glass

@courtofjurdan

@fictional-horan

@bamchickawowow

[himooonlight]

who are you? pt. 5 (reggie x reader)

pairing: reggie x reader

word count: 3.3k

plot: you dream about reggie constantly and when you see him perfoming with julie, you decide to ask her about him

warnings: death. lot of angst.

A/N: happy new year, everybody! I watched the show for the 5th time and I noticed some dahlias at Emily’s house so…… yeah, my imagination was running wild for this. Hopefully I gave you guys some answers with this chapter. Hopefully; who knows?

here's chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3 and chapter 4.

1922

  The stage was huge and the curtains were embroidered with CC's. Caleb Covington. The magician everyone was talking about. He wasn't just the talk of the town, no; he was all over the newspaper in different states. 

  In the theater the decorations were either black or gold and the tall man standing in the center was wearing a velvet suit and sparkly shoes. His whole persona and aura were screaming for attention and validation, insinuating how narcissistic and egocentric he was. Because of that, no one could look directly at him without feeling uncomfortable and scared - that's why working for him was like hell on earth; not only because he would make insane demands like finding an enormous glass box in the middle of the night, but also because he wasn't very nice.

  His four personal assistants were holding heavy chains, not very sure if that was a good idea. Everybody was tired, irritated and a little terrified, even though they would never say that out loud.

  That their boss was mad. And he for sure was.

  - This is bigger than us, I can feel it. People will talk about me for centuries!

  Nobody dared to say a thing. They just kept doing what they were supposed to, wondering if this trick wouldn't be too much, questioning where the firefighters were. Even in rehearsals, everything had to be as safe as possible. Caleb, however, was eager to try out this escape idea, saying that the rest of the time was already on their way and that they could go ahead and start.

  One of the assistants was pouring alcohol inside the box, while the other three were getting the chains tight around the magician's body. When five locks were put in place, the only thing missing was the blindfold and the fire. 

  - And now, let's burn. - Covington said. Against his better judgment, the assistent lit up the platform around the box, watching the dancing flames reflect on the glass. Going back to the audience, the four assistants sat there in silence, scared for their own life.

  Caleb didn't wait. He got inside the box with the blindfold and no way to break the chains or open the locks. The box could only open from outside and nobody could get near it because of the fire. And the alcohol inside sure was a deadly combination too, of course. But Caleb Covington was always right, always sure about his odds.

  Until he wasn't.

  When the rest of the crew got to the theatre, Caleb was already inside the box, struggling to get out. He still had one minute to go and the firefighters were ready to help him out.

  Covington didn't think it through; the alcohol wasn't cold and it was more flammable than he thought, so when the glass box exploded, not even the firefighters could save his life. He didn't make it to the hospital and the police couldn't really blame anyone, especially not the assistants for doing their jobs.

  Caleb Covington died a horrible death, performing one of his magic tricks.

  And while he was burning, he blamed others for not getting it right. He was too perfect to be mistaken, so he died thinking he would find a way to be bigger, better and eternal.

  Caleb Covington died wanting revenge, eternity and power.

  Still, he died.

  1974

  The year of 1974 was a roller coaster for Lily Peters. Her baby boy was born and the world was somehow brighter because of him. Somehow darker too.

  His cute little nose brought joy to her heart and his tiny hand would hold her finger like if he were to ever let go, everything would fall apart.

  The roller coaster started going down when he, in fact, did.

  - Listen to me, Lily. - The man said. His tone was low and his eyes were pleading for understanding and compassion. He wanted a family, of course, but everything was so complicated. He just couldn't turn around without trying one more time. - We can move to a different city if you want. We deserve a happy life, don't you think? Together.

  Lily was young. Reckless wasn't really a word to describe her; instead she was smart, passionate, dedicated and bright. Incredibly bright. So when she got home eight months prior with red eyes and shaking hands, her parents didn't comprehend the syllables she was mumbling. Sounded like the world was ending or someone died.

  When "I am pregnant" left her lips, they were surprised. Both of them couldn't think of a single thing to say. Out of shock, they held her, petting her long hair and crying silently with their daughter. The tears weren't a result of a heavy heart or disappointment; the tears were based on joy, love and gratitude. 

  For both of them, at least. To her, not so much.

  The baby boy's dad was an amazing man. He was a journalist known for being honest yet gentle. His articles and photos were always delicate and strong. He was always smiling, always being nice to strangers, always believing in something, in someone. He was also a dreamer; a very realistic one, for that matter. He would dream with his head up in the sky and feet on the ground.

  It was hard for him wrapping his head around what Lily was saying. Maybe it was because he was older than her, but he just couldn't see things from her point of view.

  - I've made up my mind. - Lily said. She kept going down and down, afraid she wasn't going to see the light again. Her decision was a blind intent to make the roller coaster to up again. - I can't keep him.

  Her parents were strongly against the idea of giving the baby away. None of Lily's friends knew about the pregnancy, so there was nobody else to beg her to see things clearly. She could stay in college and still be a mom; she could have a beautiful life with her beautiful son and be happy. There was no reason to fear what other people would say; her son's presence could cure her heavy heart of any nasty remark or malicious look.

  Lily was young and she made a bad choice; one that she would regret forever. But no one could blame her for not knowing better until she knew better.

  - Well, I can. - The man replied. He was crying, holding his son carefully and wondering how could anyone give up on him. - I am going to keep him and be a great father to our son. He's going to be an amazing person and I'm sorry that you won't be there to see it.

  It wasn't an easy decision. 1974 was the year of California Jam, when people could be audacious and careless in a crowd, but scared and small inside of their own houses. Lily was feeling overwhelmed by the responsibilities of parenthood, of her own being and all the life she would have to forget. She wasn't ready, but her son couldn't wait.

  - Lily, darling, are you sure? - Her parents were merely observers. They wanted their grandson around, they wanted to see him growing up, going to school and smiling. They wanted everything they could get, but it was Lily's choice and being a parent didn't give them the right to make choices for their daughter. - Is this the right decision?

  The words couldn't come out, so she just nodded. The sad journalist nodded too, understanding that he was now on his own. Well, at least he wasn't alone and his soul was satisfied with his decision: he could never say that he abandoned his own child. That's something he would never forgive himself for.

  The baby didn't wake up with the comotion and Lily thanked the heavens for it. If she saw his pretty green eyes she would've turned around and begged them to stay.

  Ray instinctively smiled at his mom for the first and last time, still in his sleep. Lily cried when both of them left the house, wondering if she was right.

  - We're going to be fine, Ray Molina. - The man whispered to his son, kissing his forehead. - You are the love of my life.

  1993

  - Hi. Do you have a name or can I call you mine? - Reggie's friends started laughing, embarrassed by his lack of filter. They didn't understand that their friend's words were natural, almost like an instint. Reggie didn't feel that intense connection with anyone there at the book club; let alone with someone he never met before. - Maybe I went too far with that one. I think I have the right to remain silent.

  There he was again, using humor to hide things.

  Reginald Peters was a scaredy cat with a very believable mask: funny remarks and the I-am-stupid façade. His personality was joyful and light, used to hide all the years his mom mistreated him and his dad ignored his existence. Reggie knew he was born to save their marriage, but it was doomed a long time ago, with no saving at all. The boy grew up with no sense of hope for romantic love and no understanding of self preservation.

  And none of that was his fault; his longing for parental support or the lack of ambition in his educational life. Reggie had no one to appreciate him, to build him up, to be there for him unconditionally. That is until Luke and Alex showed up.

  And then Ethan.

  - Reggie, you have the right to remain silent. What you lack is capacity. - Alex said, making Luke laugh even louder.

  People started asking them to keep it quiet, to what both of them complied easily - they loved the snacks there. The boys went back inside to grab something to eat while Reggie and Ethan stood there in the backyard, looking at each other, trying to understand their feelings.

  It wasn't something measurable or understandable. No one could explain the feeling of coming back home that they felt when their eyes met.

  They were both speechless.

  Reggie and Ethan were admiring each other's details. The bridge of their nose, their eyebrows, the way their hair would flow with the wind, their freckles; everything that met the eye. Still, they couldn't pinpoint what it was.

  - Hey. - Ethan replied, holding out his hand. Reggie looked into Ethan's eyes, then his lips and only then took his hand in his. Time seemed to stop around them. - I guess you do have a name, Reggie, but can I call you mine?

  Ethan liked metaphors, so if he were asked to describe that moment, he would've said that it felt like lying down in his bed after a long summer away from home. It was comfortable, safe, heartwarming, relaxing. Great. And Reggie would've nodded his head, agreeing with the comparison.

  Coming back to each other after lifetimes away was refreshing. Living away from each other was cruel and all the hardships were long forgotten with a simple touch.

  Hand in hand, Ethan smiled at Reggie, wondering how long it's been.

  It was just one lifetime, but it felt like forever.

  1994

  - This. You and I. - Ethan said, turning to face Reggie, who looked perplexed. Ethan falted, thinking he read the whole picture wrong. - My parents would kill me.

  Reginald opened his mouth a few times, as if trying to justify himself.

  - Ethan, what are you talking about? - Reggie asked with a scoff. The façade was up again, blending in with the boy's features just well. - We're only friends. I like girls. I flirt a lot, sure, but it's all a joke.

  A joke.

  The worst part about the "we're only friends" card is the "only" part. It was like their friendship was insignificant or insufficient; seemed like the "just friends" made each other smaller. They had the potential to be more, to take up more space in each other's life, to hold a more special value in his heart, but "just friends" limited Ethan from achieving what he really wanted.

  "Just friends" sounded like "I'm by your side, but I'm not relevant enough'’ to Ethan.

  - I'm sorry. I have to go. - A heartbroken Ethan said.

  Ethan shouldn't be sorry - that was the first thing Reggie thought after he left. Ethan should be there, with him, holding his hand and maybe hearing a new song they were working on. Yet Reginald couldn't move, almost like his feet were glued to the ground. Above the loud music, he could hear the clock on the wall, ticking mercilessly telling him he missed his chance to let his stars, his path collide with Ethan's. Above the loud music, he felt stuck in time, not getting older, further away from paradise.

  "Now or never" quickly turned into "maybe next life" to him.

  1995

  Death was about the living.

  Death was about who stayed on Earth, wondering about the words they didn't speak and about the food they didn't taste in the company of the deceased. Death was a silence that people shared because they were told so and because they had no special powers to change it.

  Death was a cry of mourning from the living, a closed coffin, the ashes thrown from a beautiful hill that the deceased could never see or that they loved very much; a dream or a memory. Death was a watch that forgot to keep running, a battery that no longer fed anything, a pause.

  Death was about who wasn't dead.

  Death was about many people who would feel affected by absence. Family, friends, strangers who would question their own existence because of someone's obituary.

  Death was, indeed, about the living.

  In that case, about Rose, Bobby and the boys' families.

  About how Luke's parents almost didn't attend the funeral. Their broken heart was physically hurting them and leaving the house was hard. They kept waiting for their son's return, choosing to ignore the fact that was dead. Emily and Mitch Patterson stayed by the door, imagining their son's figure coming back home. That never happened.

  About how Lisa and Jarred Mercer, Alex's mom and dad, didn't cry. They stared at their son's picture in silence. People came and went, saying they would pray for comfort, but it was just empty. Everything was empty; the words, their bodies, their soul. Losing a son shouldn't happen. It was in the unsaid manual of life: parents should go first. Burying a child was an ache no body should ever feel. The literal body really, considering how physical the pain could be. Alex's parents, for instance, couldn't eat for days. They couldn't sleep or smile. Breathing was painful, remembering was even worse.

  About how Reginald's father was drunk while the priest prayed. He stayed away from everybody, just tripping on his own feet and murmuring "I'm sorry". He wasn't talking about Reggie - he was thinking about Lily, his wife, and how she didn't care about their son. He was apologizing for losing all their money, for gambling, for not being a good husband. He cried too, but his father's angry voice screaming "don't cry, you're a man" echoed in his mind soon enough. He left before anybody could see him.

  About how Rose visited Emily and Mitch many times, always taking Dahlias, her favorite flower, to them. She would just make sure they ate, talk a little bit about life and play chess with Mitch. She won a few times. Alex's parents were too stubborn to accept her consolation in the form of company, but she didn't give up. After a few cookies and a few letters making sure they were alright, she got invited for dinner. She took Bobby with her and they talked about Alex like they had known each other for the longest time. His parents had many regrets and it pained Rose to see it, so she reassured them, from a daughter's perspective, that Alex loved them with all his heart. When she went to college, they lost contact, but the great memories lingered and that helped both families. That's how Rose found her love for social work and the house she wanted to live in the future: someday she wanted to buy Alex's house.

  Death was about how Bobby tried helping Reggie's parents. He looked for them everywhere, but they moved out of town. Bobby even went to Lily's work - nobody knew about her. All his strength was dedicated to honor his friends and their music, so when he didn't find Reginald's parents, he decided to be famous and let them come to him. He worked day and night, finishing the songs, working multiple shifts to get money for a demo and doing his best to be more social. He needed connections, luck and money to make his plan of honoring his friends work. All he had was determination and he hoped that could be a start.

   Death was about all that and many lives affected by the loss of Reggie Peters, Alex Mercer and Luke Patterson.

  2002

  The baby cried with such intensity and still his parents were never more delighted by any sound they've ever heard.

  - Welcome to the world, Richie.

  2018

  The clouds were matching Lucas' humor: grumpy, dark and bothered.

  He wanted to go back to the cafe, to explain his situation to Jarred and Lisa, but his guitar was stolen and his face was still bruised from his last fight. He couldn't just show up and act like everything was alright like he would usually do.

  Living in the streets was easier than staying in the system. The houses he had been to, the families that treated him like a piece of salvation just like the catholic church and indulgences… he was done with that. At least he was trying to make sure he could live freely; as free as a homeless teenager could be.

  He was in a park somewhere when the rain started pouring. At first it was shy. In a matter of seconds, the sky was falling down and Lucas was laughing at his luck. No guitar, no family, no food, no place to go. Lonely, cold and irritated, he started singing as loud as he could. No one was nearby and the world was his.

  There was so much anger in his throat that it pained the boy a little. He was mad, sad and even confused to why he couldn't just fit in. Find a family, have a house, go to school and have friends. The closest thing he had was Richie - the cheerful boy made him feel at ease for the first time in years. They connected instantly, playing together at Alex's Foundation for musicians/people that liked music.

  He wouldn't call everybody there musicians; some people were terrible singers.

  Lucas missed Richie so much. Even though the boy didn't know about his housing situation, he'd always be selfless and give him food. There was one time Richie even gave Lucas his jacket, because, according to Richie, Lucas looked cold. The boy was the brother Lucas wanted, the person worth smiling at, the best friend.

  After a while, the sky stopped crying and Lucas went to his usual spot, close to a 24 hour diner. Sometimes the waiter would be nice enough to give him bread or fries. He never expected anything though; he would just sit and wait. Wait for life, for salvation, for hope, for someone.

  That night Lucas found Richie, Rose and death.

  After the rain, life would never be the same.

[gothpanda]

A Little Bit of Attitude Ch.21: Simple as That

WORD COUNT: 5.8K 

A/N: Enjoy!!! I’m lowkey liking Sammi being with Nikki OOPS

WARNINGS: Language. 

TAGS: @madamsixx​

Read on Ao3 

Previous/Next

July 4th, 1984

Fireworks burst in the air to perform for the guests at Grand Park, families, and couples spread out on the grass. Music played in the distance on giant speakers, blasting ‘Jessie’s Girl’ along with other pop songs. “God, Mick. When did my life become this fucking song?” groaned Nikki, leaning against a tree as he drank from his beer bottle. Mick chuckled dryly, seeing Nikki’s inner crisis. He only shrugged his shoulders, sipping on his beer as Mick watched the firework show. “Maybe you should’ve told her how you felt,” muttered Mick. Nikki rolled his eyes, chugging the rest of his beer. “Thought I had made it pretty clear before,” said Nikki, looking out to see a happy dad play with his son. Mick whipped his head as fast as he could to Nikki, scowling with lips partially open, “The fuck did you just say?” Nikki cleared his throat, meeting Mick’s gaze. “Nothing, Mick. I just thought my horrible flirting would help,” trailed off Nikki. 

“Well just like you call her, the Princess needs a lot more than shit flirting to win her over,” said Mick,  finishing his beer. “Yeah, but a guy who’s the biggest manwhore shouldn’t have won. Just waiting 'til he fucks up,” said Nikki, couldn’t help but long at the father and son. 

“You really think he’s gonna fuck up fast?” asked Mick, getting a shit-eating grin from Nikki.

June 5th, 1985

 Brightness crept through the thick black curtains, a lawnmower echoed in the distance of the neighborhood causing Sammi to stern from her sleep. She slowly opened her eyes and registered the light snoring right on her ear coming from Nikki. Sammi rubbed the sleep away from her eyes, feeling Nikki’s arms have a firm hold on her. She carefully lifted Nikki’s arm from her body as she sat up on the bed, gathering the blanket to cover her bare chest. Sammi looked around the room for her clothes, seeing them spread out in different corners of the gothic bedroom. Sammi flipped her hair to one side, smiling down at Nikki’s disheveled hair spread on the pillow. The clock right on the nightstand readout 11:30, Sammi’s cursing under her breath. Sammi tiptoed out of bed, getting her panties and bra at the end of the bed, then her loose jeans by the closet door. She could see the mess from the ajar door but didn’t bother to investigate. Sammi looked over her shoulder, seeing Nikki stretch out his arms with a yawn. 

 “What’s got your ass up so early?” asked Nikki, reaching out for Sammi. She moved over, sitting right next to him and kissing him tenderly in the morning. 

 “First off, it’s almost noon. Secondly, I still need to finish packing some things for my trip,” said Sammi, putting on Nikki’s loose Aerosmith shirt she found on the floor. “My flight leaves in the evening,” 

 “What’s so great about Miami anyway that you have to leave?” pouted Nikki, looking around the room for a drink. Sammi chuckled with Nikki, grabbing his chin to meet eye contact. 

 “It was either get the fuck out of California or have a graduation party with everyone I know. The last time there was a party, I almost threw a bottle at Vince’s head when I saw him,” said Sammi, kissing Nikki before slipping on her shoes. 

 “Well, I mean hey the guy shouldn’t have cheated on you. Wait actually-” 

 “Finish that sentence and your ass is going celibate,” warned Sammi, pointing her boot at Nikki. 

 “My ass is going celibate already for two weeks,” mumbled Nikki, kissing Sammi’s neck. Sammi raised an eyebrow at Nikki as she stood up, putting her hair up in a ponytail. “What?” 

 “You’re telling me you’re not gonna go find someone with Tommy? Or any other band guy you hang out with?” asked Sammi, hand on one hip. Nikki scuffed at Sammi’s tone, scrunching his eyebrows together. 

 “You really think I’m gonna just go fuck some random while you’re gone?” asked Nikki. Sammi nodded causing Nikki to clench his jaw and look away from the girl.

 “I’m somewhat offended you think of me like that,” said Nikki, scowling up at Sammi.

 “Serious? It’s not like we’re exclusive. You can do whatever you want,” said Sammi, biting her lip. 

 “So are you gonna go and fuck random dudes?” asked Nikki. 

 Sammi stayed silent for a moment, playing with her finger. “No, I wasn’t really thinking of hooking up with anybody,” mumbled Sammi, her cheeks flushed from a bit of embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like an ass,”

 Nikki stood up from the bed, wrapping a blanket around his naked torso. He got a firm grip on Sammi’s waist, bringing her to a warm tender kiss. Sammi couldn’t help but smile through it, resting her hands on Nikki’s bare chest, trying to ignore the butterfly fluttering feeling. “I don’t have to call you my girlfriend to give you some respect. If I don’t wanna fuck anybody else, I’m not gonna fuck anybody. Simple as that,” muttered Nikki with a smirk, kissing Sammi again.

 “Okay. I won’t fuck around with anyone else either. Simple as that,” said Sammi shrugging her shoulder, withholding a smile as she looked up at Nikki with a twinkle in her eyes. Nikki couldn’t stop himself from just staring at Sammi, gently rubbing his thumb against her cheek.

 “You have fun with Em and Sabrina. You deserve it, Ms. College Graduate,” said Nikki. 

 “I will. Be nice to your band members while I’m gone. And make sure Tommy doesn’t die either,” mumbled Sammi, kissing Nikki one last time. 

 “Eh no promises,” joked Nikki with a smile making Sammi roll her eyes. He chuckled, kissing Sammi until she finally had to leave. Once he was by himself, Nikki hid away from all his responsibilities in the walk-in closet. In a new secret hiding spot, Nikki pulled out his wooden box that became filled with new heroin and needles. Nikki rubbed his forehead in frustration, catching a glimpse of himself in the floor-length mirror. It only took the man 14 days behind Sammi’s back to get into his habit again. He only tells himself we’ll keep it under control. 

June 13th, 1985

 “Okay! I’m gonna head to the grocery store. You two wrote everything down on the list?” announced Sabrina, picking up the list placed on the small breakfast bar by the front door. Sammi lifted her resting head on the sofa pillow, tossing a magazine she was reading on the coffee table. She sat up on the all-white sofa, putting on her flip flops.

 “Yeah, everything’s there. You sure you don’t want one of us to go with you?” asked Sammi ready to tag along with her friend. 

 “No, it’s totally cool. I love grocery shopping by myself and it’s my little me time I get while on vacation,” smiled Sabrina, swinging her messenger bag over her shoulder. Emma walked into the living room from her shared bedroom with Sabrina, combing her freshly washed damp hair. 

 “If I didn’t like living alone, I’d love to have you as a roommate,” smiled Sammi. 

“Touche. I won’t take that long,” said Sabrina, grabbing the rental keys on the holder as she opened the front door. “Bye girls!” 

 “Bye, S!” Emma and Sammi said in unison. Before Sammi could even move an inch, Emma quickly noticed the gossip magazine, showing Vince in a tiny corner. Sammi’s eyes went wide, rushing to the table. Emma grabbed the idiotic magazine quickly, holding it over her head to keep out of Sammi’s short reach. “Sam, why do you have this trash?” asked Emma, flipping to the small section article of Vince.  In bold white letters spelling out ‘He’s a Dad!’ with a photo of the new happy family, and a brand new baby girl in Sharises arms. Sammi stood on the sofa, yanking the paper booklet from Emma, frowning at Vince’s happy bright smile. Emma pressed her lips tightly together, sitting down by Sammi, grabbing her hand to bring her back down to Earth. Sammi couldn’t help to take her eyes off the article, reading about how happy they both were. 

 “Sammi? How are you doing? And be honest,” asked Emma, slowly taking the magazine out of Sammi’s hand. Sammi leaned against her knees, pushing the hair that fell on her face. She stayed silent as she looked out of the giant glass door from their rental apartment. 

 “It’s been a couple of months and you really haven’t said much since. I thought you might’ve moved on until now,” said Emma.

 “I should have trusted my gut about Vince. I know Athena and Tommy thought what was best for me, but I should’ve tried harder to not think about him,” uttered Sammi, resting against the sofa. 

 “Do you think he’s gonna leave you alone after this? It’s not like there’s a lot of room for space if we’re being honest,” asked Emma. Sammi shrugged her shoulders only, messing with the fringe from a pillow near her. “I know I haven’t known Vince as long as you have, but I do think he cares about you. He just probably doesn’t know how exactly,” said Emma, smiling with optimism.

“Em, I told him to his face he would end up with a mud wrestler way ahead when we got together. It’s like I predicted the future for myself,” mumbled Sammi, trying to keep her composure. 

“He could still grow through. Maybe mature a bit,”

 “Then he’s never gonna learn from me. Maybe Sharise and their daughter can fix his shit a bit. I’m done with him until further notice. I only got the magazine because it just made it officially real. Vince is a dad,” muttered Sammi. Emma tenderly squeezed Sammi’s shoulder, smiling at her for comfort.

 “Well if you’re really done with him, then let's find you someone to help you forget!” excitedly said Emma, poking Sammi in the cheek. Sammi chuckled, moving away Emma’s hand from her. “Sabrina is totally ready to be by your side with the guys,”  

 “I don’t know about the whole guy shopping agenda. I rather just surround myself with you girls and that’s it. Maybe also work on my tan,” said Sammi, averting her eyes as she rubbed the side of her head. Emma raised an eyebrow to Sammi, reading her body language as hard as she could. 

“Sam, it’s okay to hook up with people while on vacation. And especially after getting cheated on. It’s totally normal,” said Emma, resting her arm on the back of the sofa. “You’re really gonna be a nun the entire time we’re here?” 

“Yeah! I’m fine with not kissing or having sex with anybody. For a good while. A long while actually,” said Sammi, smiling at Emma to convince her. 

“Fine, in that case, let’s see how tonight will bring us,” said Emma, clapping her hands together. 

“Tonight?” asked Sammi. 

“Yeah. I wanna head to that tiki-style bar by the beach. The place where we can wear our bikinis,” said Emma, grabbing a beer from the fridge. Sammi nodded. “What? You don’t wanna go clubbing anymore either?” asked Emma with a playful smirk. 

Sammi rolled her eyes, grabbing a beer for herself. “No, I’m not that holy. Especially in Miami,” said Sammi, matching Emma’s smirk. 

“Good!” said Emma, clanking the bottleneck with Sammi’s beer. 

* 

 All of Miami was littered with people from all over the country for summer break, lines forming outside of every club and bar. In the open tiki-style bar, people danced to loud music, some even swimming in the giant pool. Emma, Sabrina, & Sammi laughed alongside each other by the bar, sipping on fruity alcoholic drinks that tasted only like fruit. Sammi looked over her shoulder, noticing a handsome muscle man eyed her with lust. He had shaggy brunette hair that wasn’t stylized like L.A rocker guys, but still, put effort into his look. He looked expensive compared to other men in this bar, his belt buckle with the monogram of a designer brand. Sammi only smiled politely at him, giving her attention back to her friend. Sabrina soon noticed the man, wiggling her eyebrows to Sammi. Sammi only shook her head at her friend, noticing Emma’s attention on her. 

 “Sam, why not just flirt with a guy? You’re not gonna see him again!” shouted Sabrina into Sammi’s ear from the loud music. Sammi tugged her ear lob, pursed out her lips as she thought of an excuse. 

“Because I just don’t want to! Guys, I really am great not hooking up with guys! If you think he’s cute, you can have him, Sabrina,” shouted Sammi, gulping down the rest of her drink. Emma and Sabrina exchanged looks to each other, shrugging their shoulders in unison. Suddenly a gentle hand touched Sammi’s shoulder, making her jump in her seat. In a quick glance, the handsome man smiles warmly at Sammi, handing her a brand new drink for the night. Sammi’s cautiously at the man, muttering a thank you under her breath.

“Hi, I’m Michael. What’s your name, beautiful?” asked Michael, extending a handout. 

“Samantha,” said Sammi, barely making an effort to shake the man's hand. Emma smirked at the two, tapping Sabrina’s arm as the two stealthy escaped to the dance floor. Micheal smiles past Sammi, making her turn to see them alone in the unknown bar to Sammi. She mentally cures to herself, keeping her composer in front of the man. 

“I like that name. It’s classy. What brings you to Miami, Samantha?” asked Micheal, pulling up a bar stool by Sammi. 

“I just graduated and I’m celebrating with my friends. A nice vacation,” said Sammi with a tight-lipped smile, twirling around the bracelets on her wrist. 

“Wow, a smart woman. You’re proving to be my type after all,” smirked Micheal, casually resting his arm behind Sammi’s back. She could feel Micheal’s arm on her bareback, afraid of him messing with one of her bikini ties. Sammi tensed up, straightening her back and keeping her guard up with the stranger. 

“And what exactly is your type?” asked Sammi, crossing her arms. 

“Smart. Natural. Looking innocent and sexy without even trying. I could explain more, but I would rather show you what I have to offer,” said Micheal, sipping his drink as he kept his strong eye contact with Sammi. 

Sammi’s shot wide, nodding along to understand. “Pretty bold but um, I don’t do one night stands,” said Sammi, picking at her nails from under the bar. 

“Which I completely respect, but doesn’t mean we can’t do other things,” smirked Micheal.

“Look you’re handsome but I can’t. I just got out of a relationship so I’m not in the mood to jump on someone,” said Sammi, tugging her earlobe once again. 

“Oh, I know. Vince Neil really messed up on you,” said Micheal, leaning closer on Sammi with their bodies now touching. “I hate that piece of shit band anyway,” Micheal whispered seductively into Sammi’s ear, making her physically cringe all over. Micheal’s hand grazed down Sammi’s spine, his lips leaning closer to her neck. Sammi elbowed him hard in the gut, throwing her drink in his face as she jumped up from her stool. Micheal hunched over as he lost almost his balance, wiping away the alcohol from on his face. “What the fuck?!”

“That’s my brother’s band you fucking idiot!” shouted Sammi, grabbing her purse and sprinting off as best as she could in cork wedges. She pushed past every staring club go-er, getting more annoyed the longer it took her to find Emma and Sabrina. Sammi could feel her blood boil all over her body, palms gaining sweat. She glared with anger at any girl that gave her a mean look. As Sammi reached the entrance, she heard yells of her name, making her turn around with more annoyance. Her eyes bulged out at the sight of Emma and Sabrina following Sammi’s footsteps.  “Why the hell did you leave me alone with that dumbass?!” shouted Sammi. 

“We wanted to give you a chance with him! What even happened?” asked Sabrina, trailing behind Sammi as they tried to find their way home. 

“He called Motley a piece of shit band and knew I was with Vince. Clearly, he wasn’t smart enough to know I’m Tommy’s sister!” explained Sammi, stomping down the busy sidewalk as she yelled over her shoulder. Emma huffed under her breath, grabbing Sammi’s arm to halt her in her tracks. “What?!” 

“We’re sorry we left you alone with that guy, but you seriously have to talk to us on what’s wrong,” said Emma calmly, keeping her loose grip. 

“The fuck are you going on about?” said Sammi, eyes shifting from Emma and Sabrina. She could see their looks of knowing, almost being able to read through Sammi clear as day. 

“Have you met yourself? You’re kind of terrible at hiding things from people, everything is written on your face,” said Sabrina, looping her arm with Sammi’s along with Emma, continuing their walk down to the rental. Sammi looked down at the ground to stay silent, knowing Sabrina was right like always. It was never a mean type of always right, Sabrina knew when things could be different and it happened to be the better way. “What’s going on, Sammi? You know you can talk to us. We never judge,” said Sabrina.

“Emma, promise me you won’t tell Athena anything. Please?” asked Sammi. Emma nodded. Sammi let loose of Emma and Sabrina, pushing her hair out of her face as she saw the vacation apartment building in the near distance. The girls entered the building together, Emma & Sabrina on the edge of what was happening to Sammi. The elevator ride was short luckily for Emma who couldn’t handle the silence, taking the lead down the hall to open the door. 

“Okay! What’s been going on with you? I never thought you’d throw a drink on a guy,” asked Emma, sitting Sammi down on the sofa. Sammi inhaled deeply, twirling the ends of her hair around her finger. 

“The reason why I didn’t want to hook up with anybody is because…” hesitated Sammi, scratching her nose even when a feeling wasn’t there. “I promised Nikki I wasn’t going to…” Sammi looked up at Emma and Sabrina, seeing the confusion play out on their face. 

“Okay, why did you randomly promise Nikki that?” asked Emma again. 

Sammi groaned, shooting up from her spot, “Because Nikki and I have been hooking up!” 

“What?!” Emma and Sabrina yelled in unison, eyes growing at Sammi. “Since when?!” asked Sabrina. 

“Since February…” uttered Sammi, dropping back down onto the sofa. 

“How the hell did that even happen for you to move on that fast?” asked Emma, scratching her head as she pondered. 

“Not that we’re judging, we’re just curious because you never said anything,” reassured Sabrina.

“Well wasn’t the first time we had sex,” said Sammi, shifting her eyes between her friends. Sabrina scrunched her eyebrows at Sammi, looking at Emma’s shocked face. 

“And when was the first time?” asked Sabrina.

“And how come you never told us?” asked Emma, scowling as she thought hard as she sat in the accent chair of the living room. 

“The night after I had my fight with my old roommates, I went to Nikki’s because I was pissed at Vince. It was just me and him at his old apartment for a couple of days before the tour and one thing led to another. We just never talked about it after, and especially after Vince and I got together,” said Sammi, hugging the large sofa pillow for comfort. 

“Damn… I guess I really can’t tell Athena then,” mumbled Emma, pressing her lips in a tight line. “How did you hide this for a whole year?” 

“I had just met you guys when I started dating Vince, so I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t tell Athena and Tommy because they would probably lecture me like always. Mick basically acts like a dad, would be the same thing. And obviously, I couldn’t tell Vince. Which in hindsight, maybe I should have and save myself the tears,” mumbled Sammi towards the end, tucking her chin under the pillow.

“So are you and Nikki a thing? Or is it just for sex?” asked Sabrina. 

“I don’t know… He told me he wasn’t gonna get with anyone while I was gone, but the whole label shit isn’t for me right now,” 

“I think we can all agree about being in a relationship after what you went through isn’t ideal. Still, be careful though, not just ‘cause he’s Nikki but because he’s a guy,” said Emma as she leaned over to squeeze Sammi’s hand as a sign of peace, Sabrina doing the same. 

 “I guess that answers my curiosity about you and Nikki,” uttered Sabrina, smiling at Sammi. 

 “What do you mean? You already thought we were hooking up?” asked Sammi, wrinkling her eyebrows into deep elevens.

 “No, I really didn’t but…whenever I saw you and Nikki together, he seemed to soften up a small bit. Even if Vince was around, he’d still looked less ‘uncomfortable’ when you two talked,” said Sabrina, shrugging her shoulders at Sammi. 

 “Yeah but he still acts like a macho man with everyone else around,” added Emma. 

 “But you seriously can’t tell me I’m wrong, Em. I know you’ve seen it too,” said Sabrina, raising an eyebrow to Emma. 

 Emma huffed, throwing her hands up in defeat that made Sammi chuckle. “Yeah, I guess you are right. He does act differently when you’re around compared to when you’re not, Sam,” said Emma. 

 “That’s nice to hear I guess. I hope he isn’t doing anything too stupid while I’m gone,” said Sammi, letting out a long yawn. 

 “With another girl or?” 

 “No, just him being crazy with the guys,” said Sammi, rubbing her tired eyes. “I’m too tired to explain it. I’m going to bed,” said Sammi, getting up from the sofa as she left the girls alone in the living room, not seeing Emma mouth something to Sabrina. In her room alone, Sammi stripped off her bikini to drape Nikki’s t-shirt he didn’t seem to miss. Sammi dropped herself on the bed, hiding away in the heavy white sheets to shut her eyes. As Sammi could feel herself drift asleep, the bedside telephone rang out loud, making her eyes slowly open in irritation. With a groan, Sammi sat up against the headboard and picked up the phone to her ear. 

 “Hello” muttered Sammi, her voice sounding raspy. 

 “Sammi?” Sammi hit her head against the headboard, scuffing at the sound of this person’s voice. 

 “Vince, how the hell did you get this number?” asked Sammi, facepalming while cursing like a sailor in her head. 

 “I, um, I wouldn’t stop bothering Athena for days until she cracked. She just gave me your number,” mumbled Vince on the other line, sounding like a nervous little boy. Sammi rolled her eyes, making a mental note to shout at Athena the next time she called. “But how has Miami been? I know you loved it when we-” 

 “Vince, just tell me why you’re calling. Shouldn’t you be changing your daughter's shitty diaper right now?” barked Sammi in a low voice, messing with cord. She kept her glances at the door, praying no one came in to hear this conversation. Vince stayed silent on his line, making Sammi bite her cheek as she was on the edge of her seat for him to talk. “Well?”

 “I… I wanna talk it out, Sammi. I miss you so much and-and I know I messed up but please just hear me out. You said it yourself you can’t be mad at me forever,” uttered Vince, his voice shaking in Sammi’s ear. 

 “Yeah, when you fucked my best friend before we got together. And now you fucked some blonde bitch and got her pregnant. What can you possibly say that is gonna make it better?” asked Sammi, frowning to herself.

 “That I love you. That I’m sorry for being a drunk idiot so many times. I just need to know you’re not gonna just leave me hanging here by myself,” said Vince, Sammi’s eyes beginning to fill with tears. 

 “I can’t promise that, Vince. I really can’t,” Sammi’s voice cracked, wiping away a fallen tear. 

 “Why not?” 

 “You hurt me so bad and you don’t even fully realize it. You’re in a relationship now. You didn’t even try to hide that you moved on to the world. I can’t just be around waiting for you to change. My life doesn’t revolve around you!” 

 “We’re not even in a real relationship! We barely know each other unlike you and me, Sammi. You and I have history,” shouted Vince, immediately whispering again in hopes Sharise never heard him. 

 “Look, I know I can’t be completely away from you, but you still need to give me space. Get it through your head. Get it through your head that you cheated on me and I can’t forgive that easily. Please just leave me alone for a moment,” Sammi inhaled deeply, laying back down on the bed, rubbing her temples. 

 “Alright. You’re right. I’ll give you all the space you need, but can you promise me one thing?” asked Vince. 

 “What?” asked Sammi in a monotone voice, just ready to go to sleep. 

 “Promise me you won’t get with Nikki,” Sammi eyes fully opened wide at Vince’s request, her heart beginning to pound from nervousness. 

 “No, what? You can’t fucking tell me what to do, Vince,” spat out Sammi, frowning more. 

 “Please. You can get with any guy I know from the scene but just not Nikki. Please, Sammi,” begged Vince. 

 “Do you know what’s my favorite thing about not being with you anymore? I don’t have to deal with your shitty jealously over Nikki! Now don’t fucking call me again,” shouted Sammi, slamming the phone down hard. She rubbed her head to calm her down, praying Emma and Sabria couldn’t hear her conversation. Sammi turned on her side to finally get some sleep, trying her hardest to forget the last couple of hours. She couldn’t stop the tears from falling and let them go as she fell asleep.

June 21st, 1985

Stepping down the open airport corridor, the three girls followed the signs to the luggage roundabout and exit doors, tired from the long midday flight. The crowds of people around them practically ran in comparison to the girls' slow pace, wanting to be greeted by loved ones and dash home. As the girl reached the end, Sammi almost stopped in her place as she saw her name on a cardboard sign. Nikki stood by a row of waiting chairs, Sammi’s suitcase and duffle bag by his feet as he held a little sign that wrote ‘Samantha’ in bold black letters. He looked tired from when Sammi left but tried his test to look normal with clean clothes and washed hair. Sabrina couldn’t help but a smile a bit at Sammi, enjoying her surprised face like Emma’s. Sammi stood right in front of Nikki, raising one eyebrow at him while eyeing him. He smirked back at her, “Surprised? Nice tan by the way,”

“Yeah, I never thought you’d come to get me at an airport by yourself. I was thinking of taking a cab home,” said Sammi, swinging her duffle bag over her shoulders. Nikki shrugged his shoulders, waving slightly at Emma and Sabrina as they withheld shit-eating grins. 

“You two need a ride home? Or you girls gonna walk home?” asked Nikki, resting his arm around Sammi’s shoulders. 

Emma shrugged with a smile, “Yeah just let me get our bags. Come come, Sabrina,” Emma pulled Sabrina by the hand, leaving the couple alone to see if they would try anything in front of them from afar. 

Do they know something I don’t know or is Emma just finding my face funny?” asked Nikki scrunching his eyebrows together, making Sammi giggle.

“No, I think they’ve never seen you do something nice for me is all,” said Sammi, hugging Nikki’s waist. Nikki smiled smugly at Sammi’s words, feeling a bit proud of himself.

“So? Is Florida still like I somewhat remember it?” asked Nikki, looking down at Sammi. 

“Yeah it was great, but I need some explanation from my sister,” said Sammi, sucking her teeth with irritation. Nikki scrunched his eyebrows, looking past to see Emma and Sabrina still waiting for their things.  

“Why? The hell did she do while you were gone?” asked Nikki. Right when Sammi could explain, she shut her mouth tight as Emma and Sabrina walked closer to them. “I’ll explain it later at my place,” muttered Sammi.

“Oh we get to go to your place?” whispered Nikki in Sammi’s ear, making playfully roll her eyes. 

June 26th, 1985

 Sammi walked up the outdoor staircase of an L.A apartment building, appearing brand new in comparison to the other buildings around the area. All the way up to the third floor, Sammi knocked hard on the metal door that read Apt. 302, fixing her jean shorts on the hot summer day. Athena happily opens the door with a big smile for her sister, open arms ready for her. 

 “You’re back!” exclaimed Athena, hugging Sammi tight. Sammi returned the hug with less enthusiasm, but still upholding a smile. 

 “Yeah. Sorry I couldn’t visit your new place sooner. Work got pretty busy when we got back,” said Sammi, walking into the nicely decorated apartment. Athena’s interior style slowly but surely became more mature as she moved between apartments. Sammi sat down on the dining table, dropping her purse on the wooden surface. Athena soon pulled out a bottle of white wine Tommy gifted her from her refrigerator, getting two clean wine glasses. She poured the glasses perfectly even, sliding it across the short table. They cheered together, Sammi remaining silent. 

 “So, how was Miami? Meet any cool people?” asked Athena, taking her first sip of wine. Sammi drank alongside Athena, pursing her lips out as she thought of the last two weeks. 

 “It was pretty great. Amazing beach. Cool clubs. There was one thing that kinda ruined it,” said Sammi. 

 “Really? What was it? You didn’t fight with the girls did you?” asked Athena, scrunching her eyebrows together. 

 “No nothing like that. It was just Vince finding out my phone number. Because apparently, my sister who always butts into my life fucking told him,” said Sammi, leaning back into the chair as she crossed her arms, raising a questioning look at Athena. Athena bit her lip, looking down at her hands with regret. She stayed silent, not being able to look Sammi in the eye. 

 “Sam, I’m sorry. I thought it would help…” said Athena, slowly meeting Sammi’s sight. 

 “Help who? Him? The man that fucking cheated on me?” asked Sammi, biting the inside of her cheek.

 “Help you hear him out without getting angry fast! He fucked up, I get it but you can’t run away from him. Or throw things at him when you see each other,” said Athena. 

 “Yes, I can! What is it that you don’t understand? Vince fucked up! And I don’t want to hear any bullshit that comes out of his mouth!” shouted Sammi. 

 “People make mistakes. He was drunk! The guys make mistakes all the time when they’re drug or high!” 

 “None of them that equaled a fucking child that they paraded around on magazines! This isn’t the first time he made a mistake with a girl that hurt me. Why do you have to side with him? You’re my sister!” shouted Sammi, wanting every inch of her to run out of the apartment. 

 “I’m not on his side, Sammi. I’m sorry for giving him your phone number. It’s just we’ve known Vince for a long time, and I feel like it could still work between you two,” said Athena, rubbing her hands together. Sammi rolled her eyes at her sister, not caring if she appeared rude. She was pissed. To Sammi, almost no one understood her anger like she thought they would. Her siblings were supposed to support Sammi, not someone else. 

“Listen, Athena, I know you and Tommy always look out for me but this is different. I’m only gonna say this once and nicely to you. Please just stay out of my love life, it has nothing to do with you or Tommy. I’m grown so I’m perfectly fine handling things myself. If you want to keep hanging out with Vince, you can do that, but don’t expect me to run after him for a long time. Got it?” ordered Sammi, look directly at Athena. Athena nodded with hesitation, finishing off her glass of wine. 

“Can you at least tell me what Vince said? Or a watered-down version?” asked Athena, pouting a bit in an attempt to make Sammi spill. Sammi groaned, nodding as she drank her wine. 

“In gist, he doesn't want me to leave him or jump on Nikki. Both of which I told him I can’t do and give me space. I just want to be left alone in all of this,” said Sammi. 

“You can’t stop yourself from jumping on Nikki?” Athena asked, scrunching her eyebrows together in deep elevens. 

“No… I didn’t mean it like that,” huffed Sammi.

“Well like what then?”

“I meant it in a ‘you can’t tell me what to do’ kind of way. I seriously mean it when I say I want to be alone,” said Sammi, swallowing hard and made the effort to keep eye contact with Athena. 

“Alright, I get it. You said it yourself before, you wouldn’t touch Nikki with a ten-foot pole” said Athena, pouring more wine for her and Sammi. Sammi sipped on her wine, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. 

“Yeah you’re right I did say that,” mumbled Sammi. “I don’t think Nikki would try anything. He would’ve already done it,” said Sammi, giving a convincing smile. She sipped in her wine until the last drop, glancing at the clock on the wall. Sammi remembered her plans with Nikki, thinking of an excuse to give her sister. “Hey Athena, I have to get going. I just remember I got plans with Em and Sabrina tonight,” said Sammi, standing from her seat.

“Em? Are you sure? We were gonna have a movie date later. I was going to ask if you wanted to stay,” said Athena, squinting at Sammi to read anything on her sister's face. 

“Oh? Well shit, she didn’t say anything to me. Em could’ve called Sabrina already, but it’s cool. We were just gonna go eat somewhere,” said Sammi, swinging her purse onto her shoulder. Athena nodded along with caution, remaining silent as she showed Sammi the door. 

“Okay then, have a fun night. I’ll see you on Sunday at mama and Dad’s place,” said Athena, hugging Sammi goodbye. “Love you,” 

“Love you too,” replied Sammi, walking down the stairs with a little pep in her step. Athena couldn’t help but make a small mental note for when Emma would come over. Ready to see if Emma would agree with Sammi or try to lie.

[willddheartt]

Babylon: Neon Lights | C.H. Chapter Three: Empty Wallets

DISCLAIMER: SOME PARTS MIGHT BE R RATED !! Series warnings: Substances (alcohol & cigarettes), Anger (snappy comments), that’s it??

Series Masterlist

July 7th Ashton’s birthday. Violet and I were lucky enough to get the day off of work, letting us sleep in as preparation for the events of this evening. Waking up at the early time of 1:00 PM, in the afternoon, I ran out to get Violet and I breakfast. Since it was already the afternoon our breakfast consisted of burgers and fries from the restaurant down the street. 

Before I knew it we were getting ready for the club. I ended up slipping on some really short black shorts with a pair of fishnets underneath them, paired with my normal, red high top converse and a black halter top and my normal plaid shirt over top of that. My short hair hung along the sides of my face in its natural waves as I pulled the entire look together with perfectly winged eyeliner and a black lip.  Violet and I walked to the club where it was only two blocks away from our apartment. The guys were waiting for us outside when we arrived, I greeted Ashton with a hug and a happy birthday before we went inside. 

The night started off alright, everyone did everything in their power to keep Calum and I separated to keep the conflict to the minimum and I kept my glares to myself. The music was too loud for me to be able to hear his snarky comments if he made any. But as we all became more and more intoxicated, the thought of keeping Calum and I separate slipped their minds and they began dragging both him and I to dance at the same time. Standing by the bar, and evidently next to Calum, I was telling Violet that I would join her in one second. I was just getting another drink. But none of that went to plan as someone from the crowd bumped into me, causing a domino effect as I stumbled backward into Calum and he spilt his beer. 

“The fuck!” He yelled, pushing me off him in response.  “Jesus, It was an accident,” I responded to his irritated reaction “Like fuck it was!” He shouted at me, everyone and the bartenders getting ready to stop anything violent if it were to happen. The air was tense and it almost seemed as if the music stopped. “Oh yeah, you really think I’d bump into you on purpose?” I snapped, “You know irritating you isn't high on my priority list Hood,”  “Well you seem to be doing a good job at it, you know how hard it's gonna be to get it out of the leather?”  “I don’t really care,” 

By now Ashton, Luke, Michael and Violet noticed the conflict that had been taking place and stood back but they were around enough that if anything were to happen they could step in.  “I don’t understand why you can't just remain neutral. I get that we can't be friends, Calum, but why do you have to be so overly aggressive and annoyed for no reason, I try to get along and you just don't fucking care!” I yelled, waiting for an answer but he looked dumbfounded. “Fuck you,” I mumbled before leaving to get some air. 

I lit a cigarette and leaned against the uneven cement wall, my left leg bent at the knee resting on the wall, and threw my head back as I blew the smoke from my lungs. Everything within myself wanted to scream at Calum right now, maybe even throw a few punches at him, but I knew nothing but more trouble would come from that. The uneasy look on Ashton's face I saw as I left was enough to make me regret everything.  The sound of the heavy club door closing pulled my attention from the empty sky to my right. As if the gods wanted me to suffer exponentially tonight, Calum stepped out of the club, looking both ways down the street until he saw me. 

“The fuck do you want?” I sighed as Calum approached “Bum a smoke?” He mumbled, just like the other day.  I shook my head and shoved my pack back into my back pocket. “Out,” Turning my attention to the street, watching the cars passing and ignoring him as he stood next to me.  “I'm trying to be civil, Rossa,” He sighed     I scoffed, “Civil? Now? Wow do you have bad timing,” I shook my head.  “That's what I’ve been trying to do all along.”

“You! What reason do you have to bring civil up to me? The last I recall you were the one initiating the snarky bickering.” Quickly I looked over at Calum, he looked as if he were going to say something but I shook my head and cut him off before he could get it out, “You know what, I don't even wanna hear it.” I dropped my cigarette butt to the ground, putting it out with the bottom of my shoe, “I’ve been trying to get on your good side for three years Calum, three fucking years. At this point I don't even think you have one, or if you do there's no way in hell I'll get on it, so forget it, I'm done trying.”  All my bottled up anger from the past years finally was bubbling up and it all came out at once, “If you really mean those things about everyone not wanting me around that you were mumbling at dinner the other night, you got your wish. I’m gone. Now just fuck off.”  I pulled the pack of cigarettes from my pocket and lit another one as I took off, walking down the street in the direction of Violet and I’s apartment. 

Maybe I was just drunk with no filter, or maybe I actually meant everything I said to him, it didn’t matter anymore. I finally had it my way and there was no way in hell I was going to voluntarily see Calum Hood. 

August 7th   Friday movie night at Ashton’s turned into Friday movie night alone at the apartment. I wasn’t going to make the other change their plans just because I couldn't stand one of their friends, obviously, Calum was right and I had been the problem. The Friday after Ashton’s birthday I apologized for everything that happened in the past and for ruining his birthday, and we went out to lunch. He looked really disappointed when I told him I didn’t plan on joining them on movie night but told him I’ll be there next week even though I had no plans of going next Friday. I just didn’t know how to break it to him that I was becoming a stranger. Luckily I didn’t have to because distancing myself was easier than I expected. The Monday following movie night, I got calls and texts asking why I missed it, but when I missed out Wednesday dinner, they started to get concerned, until they all just stopped trying to contact me, only sending messages for me through Violet who would text me or tell me when she got home. 

As the sunset over the buildings in the city, and the sun twinkled off the various skyscrapers that were visible from the 12th story apartment balcony, my Friday movie night turned into a Friday club night. Pulling on an outfit nicer than sweats and a sports bra, I didn't really care what I looked like, I wasn’t looking for a one night stand I just wanted to get wasted.  Surprisingly the club was emptier than last time, and the music a touch quieter. Although the vodka was watered down just the same. Everything was going amazingly, I forgot about the massive FOMO I was having over movie night with each new drink I consumed, at least until I saw the same leather jacket I was sticking to, on the uncomfortable wicker couch less than a month ago, hanging off its owner's shoulders. Calum and I locked eyes for a moment before he left a bill at the bar and walked out. 

I felt stupid for doing it, but it was my turn to chase after him. After telling him off about two days ago, I was now running after him. 

It was a perfect parallel, Calum leaned on the wall the exact way I had a month before. His left leg lifted, bent at the knee foot flat on the uneven cement wall, and head thrown back resting against the concrete.  I walked up to Calum, noticing the cigarette that hung between his lips.  “What did I do?” I asked, catching Calum’s attention.  “Hm?” He asked  “What did I do,” I repeated, I knew how desperate and broken I sounded but at this point, I didn’t care, I was just so fed up and down with everything I needed answers.  “You really don't know?” He asked  I shook my head, “Does it seem like I'm fucking with you, Hood?” 

He took a long drag from his cigarette before holding it out to me, not starting his story until I took it from him. 

“I don't remember how long we had known each other when this happened but remember when we started out good? Like we could get along?” He asked I nodded my head for him to continue as I finished off the cigarette he handed me, “When my birthday came around you completely blew me off, and the plans we made for dinner, all to hang out with some guy. I looked forward to those plans for weeks, and you just blew me off, no ‘something came up’ text, not even an apology.” By this time I had already lit my own cigarette, chain-smoking had become a habit I couldn't shake since last month, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I- I don't know how that just slipped me.”  Calum nodded, taking the cigarette from my hand, “I understand. Now that I say it out loud I see how petty I was being,” He admitted,  I shook my head, “No, I was terrible, a bitch even. I feel horrible now. Is there any way I can make it up to you?” 

[remy-arzt]

TASK iii || A look through the past

For a long as you can remember you’ve had nightmares. Huge waves threaten to drown you and no matter how much you run, you’ll never be able to outrun them. You went to a sleep therapist once. She gave you some pills. They didn’t work. The dreams got more diverse.

Now it’s not just the wave threatening to drown you, you also find yourself floating over an abyss, knowing you will fall eventually. So you decide to try psychoanalysis, the results make sense but say nothing you didn’t already know. The wave represents deep emotion, which you’re terrified of. The abyss is your unconscious and all those unknown parts of you that sometimes you dare take a quick look at but could never face. That doesn’t help you figure out how to stop them, though. Then there’s the other nightmare, the one that is very clear to you.

February 1997 “Wake up! Wake up, boy!” Cold water drips form the tips of your hair, the droplets falling on your skin like small needles of ice. You startle awake. “You’re three minutes late already. Get to work or you get no food.” A quick nod and you get up and shake the dirty water from your hair. The morning passes in a whirl. Your hands hurt. Your back hurts. You can barely open your eyes in the dark, smoke-filled corridors under the factory. But you keep working until lunch time. Porridge, some stale bread and a fried egg. Then back to work, now it’s time to beg. One of your shoes has a hole in it. You’ve gotten used to it, to the cold, murky water seeping through your threadbare sock. Some of coins from a couple who clicks their tongue at you but forgets you five minutes after. A half-full bottle of water from a garbage man whose eyes seem to see right through you. When night hits you count your earnings and sigh. Not enough. Dinner is just a spoonful of peanut butter, you look on with envy at the plates of the kids who managed to raise more.

August 1999 You sit at the police station, your legs swinging back and forth. You wonder if they’ll put you in jail. Probably not. But you wish they would. Free food and a ratty old bed, all to yourself. Sounds like heaven to you. There’s blood in your tongue and the metallic taste of it makes your eyes water. You wonder what will happen if you cry. Will they judge you? Will they slap you, like The Man used to do? Maybe they’ll just ignore it. Maybe you can cry just a little bit.

April 1992 You have some faded, almost gone memories of your biological parents. Immigrants, struggling. They did their best to survive. That’s about it. Somehow, sometime, they got themselves into a mess and The Man pulled them out of it. They owed him. And since they didn’t have money... he took something else from them. You. You never found out if he took you away from them forcefully or if they gave in and let you go willingly. You remember your mother’s last wet kiss against your forehead, as if tears were running down her cheeks. Then training began. You worked in the morning and begged in the afternoon. In exchange you got food, a space on the factory floor and a moth eaten blanket. If you didn’t work you didn’t get any of that, you had to sleep outside. Where anyone could get you, The Man always said. “And then you’d have it much worse than here, boy. That’s for sure.”

March 1999 One night you startle awake, a nightmare too weird to ignore forced you out of sleep. You look around, hoping you didn’t wake anyone else, and your sleepy eyes focus on a pair of moving silhouettes. Maybe if you stay really, really still they won’t see you... but they do. They walk over to you and invite you to go with them. You hesitate, but you’ve never felt like you’re a part of anything before and you’d like to know what it feels like. They’re older, sixteen and seventeen. Looking for real jobs, they say. You’d don’t get what it means. When they ask for your name and you fail to give them one they start calling you “the kid”. It makes sense to you, sometimes they even call you boy too.

October 1997 You found some old books by an alley. The box where they were was musty and wet. The pages were crusty with dust and other mysterious stains. Still, they seemed special to you, you’d never really owned anything before. At night you found a way to convince some of the older guys to teach you how to read. Just twenty minutes before bed, they’d take turns and you’d give them some of your rations in exchange. Sometimes words are more nurturing than food, it seemed fair to you. Until The Man found out. You’d never seen him so angry at you, not even when you were younger and you’d cry on the job. He destroyed the books, you lost the chance to get more than one meal a day for a week. And he gave you a more permanent reminder of what would happen if you tried ”a stupid stunt like that again. Work or die out there, alone. Your choice boy.” You hid what remained of the books and didn’t dare look at them again.

August 1999 When you stated hanging out with them you knew you were probably making a mistake. You barely got by as it was and now you were losing sleep. You got less work done and less food in return. But it was... fun. You were always the lookout. They would steal some liquor or cigarettes and you’d stand outside and scream if you saw anyone coming. Sometimes they even stole some snack for you. But then everything went wrong. They lost control and they hurt someone, and when you saw them running away you tried to go after them. But they were older, taller and faster... and they didn’t wait for you. The police found you a couple of blocks down and the storeowner identified you. Little did you know then that this was actually the best thing that could’ve happened to you.

August 30th, 1999 When they pick you up you hardly believe your eyes. When you see the house on the Hill you’re sure you must be dreaming. This can’t really be your life now, can it? With time you will come to realize living in the Athanas house is not just a blessing, it comes with a curse too. But still, it seems like heaven to you compared to what could’ve been. The man that greets you is tall and imposing. There’s something about him that immediately calls for respect, but it also calls to some deeply buried part of you that yearns to impress him. You need him to think you’re worthy.  He welcomes you to his house and then proceeds to tell you his rules. Your chores. What you should do, what you need to learn. You pay a lot of attention to him and nod your head at everything. You’ll do whatever it takes to stay here. Then comes the question you’d feared.

“What’s your name, boy?”

“I... um, my name? Well...”

He says he will call you Remy. And suddenly that’s who you are. That’s who you’ve always been and who you dream to become at the same time. You have a name and it’s more than you could have ever asked for. It’s the best birthday present anyone could have given you.

May 2006 You’re walking through the house, your mind doing it’s usual run over everything that needs to be done and should be happening. You’re humming softly to yourself. A noise brings you out of your mental reverie and you notice Belva running outside. The wind is in her hair and her laughter fills your ears. Florence is watching her too, sitting near her and braiding a flower crown. A soft warmth fills your heart and moves through your whole body. In that moment you feel completely content. The calm smile remains as you walk over to the library, you promised to help Cassia and Horatio with their homework.

December 2001 Your laugh rises over the trees and you feel like it could reach the sky. You turn towards Mom and smile as you finish folding the picnic blanket. Today everyone wanted to have lunch outside and you helped her set up, now you’re picking everything up. She seems distracted, and you know this isn’t unusual for her, but you’re happy she’s still present enough to laugh at your bad jokes. She runs her fingers through your hair as you walk into the house and you lean into the touch, enjoying as much of it as you can. Then you go check on kids, you know you have to look after them. You like to do it. 

July 2014 You look at the clock and are surprised to realize you and Pacifico have been talking for hours, way into the night. It’s not the first time it’s happened and you’re happy to know it probably isn’t the last. He’s telling you about fishing, about the calm and patience it requires. About how you need to learn to wait and carefully keep control in the meantime. Maybe someday, when he gets a day off, you can both go. You’ve never seen a body of water big enough to fish in, but in that moment you decide you already love it. You never took that fishing trip...

2019 You’ve been struggling with finding yourself now more than ever. You always did have trouble identifying and adequately classifying your fears and emotions. So you simply tried to counteract them with logic. It usually worked. When it didn’t, you made sure you were alone to let it all out. Now even that certainty has been taken from you. All you used to believe you were, everything you thought you needed to do. The boy you were and the man you’ve become are not enough to make ends meet and you’re wondering what’s missing and how to find it. 

And amidst all of this confusion one more thing stands out: all this time you thought you were important to him. You thought you mattered to him, maybe not as much as your work, but... did you ever matter at all? What was real and what wasn’t? What parts of you are truly yours and which are just a cog in the well-oiled machine you willed yourself to become for him? Even as these questions rage through your mind, even as your horror over the murder and everything that’s followed corrodes it, you can’t hate him. You can resent him but you could never hate him. Because Vidal Athanas gave you a purpose, a life. But more than that, he gave you something no one else could. He gave you a name, and with that he gave you an identity. And a life to live with it.

[queensofrap]

Cardi B in the March 2019 issue of Harper’s BAZAAR. QUEEN.

Cardi B Opens Up About Her "Rags to Riches" Cinderella Story

When Cardi B visits her favorite nail salon in the Bronx, she enters through a raggedy hallway covered with a rug emblazoned with the image of a $100 bill. The salon, which overlooks a bustling avenue of pizza shops, sports-gear superstores, and boutiques with weaves in 70 colors, is a temple to money, excess, and sexiness, symbolized in the application of nails that look like diamond-encrusted Buck knives. Portraits of two icons of pulchritude hang on the walls—namely, Marilyn Monroe and the very 2019 version of Marilyn: Cardi. 

With a posse that includes her dad, her half-sister, her half-brother, and two Drogosize bodyguards whose names I don’t catch but imagine to be Bulwark and Spear, Cardi, 26, heads toward a private side room. She surrenders her hands and feet to Jenny Bui, her sharp-tongued nail tech of more than half a decade, even back when she didn’t have the money to move out of this borough.

A tiny, makeup-less sprite in magenta leggings and a playful Moschino sweatshirt, Cardi talks about where she’s at today. On one hand, she says, “I feel like my life is a fairy tale and I’m a princess—rags to riches, people trying to sabotage,” she says. But she also complains fervently about being over the fairy-tale life and wanting peace and quiet. “Before, I cared about everything—relationship, gossip. Now I don’t feel like I have the time to please people,” she explains. “I don’t care about anything anymore—just my career and my kid.” What about money, the thing she raps about caring for quite a bit? “Well, I care about my career because of my money,” Cardi says, giving me a “c’mon, stupid” face.

“Before,” in this context, means before the tectonic shifts that have taken place in Cardi’s life in the past year: that she became a global superstar; relocated from New York to Atlanta to live with the charismatic rapper Offset, her new husband; gave birth to an unplanned but much loved daughter, Kulture Kiari, in July; then, five months later, after the drip-drip-drip of rumors about Offset’s infidelity, announced on Instagram that the marriage was over.

Today Cardi tells me that Offset has been to her apartment, but they haven’t seen each other and are “not really” talking, which is a bit hard to believe after she shows me videos of her gurgling baby on her iPhone and happens to scroll past a photo of Offset with a time stamp reading today. When I ask her if she’s getting back with Offset, I can almost hear her curious entourage, who have arranged themselves on sofas on the perimeter of the room, lean forward to catch the answer. For a moment, the only sound is Bui engaging in some hard-hat-level sanding and scraping of the star’s three-inch nails. Then Cardi says both, “I don’t think so,” and “Who knows? You never know, you can never tell,” neither of which is exactly a definitive answer.

I’ve interviewed dozens of pop stars, and Cardi, despite the massive entourage and the bear-claw-like nails, seems the most normal. She’s not the most down-to-earth or the most perfect, and she’s definitely not the least into social media, but she knows who she is and where she came from, and has somehow managed to keep expressing genuine emotions in the face of blockbuster success. And while her emotions can sometimes seem out of control, who hasn’t been there? We might not have screamed and thrown a shoe at Nicki Minaj at a Harper’s Bazaar event this past September (in retribution, Cardi has said, for various slights from Minaj, including liking a negative comment about her parenting skills), or allegedly ordered an attack on two female bartenders at a strip club visited by Offset (a judge issued orders of protection in December for the accusers), but we’ve all been mad as hell. And the unbearable cuteness and sexiness of Cardi, a raunchy L.O.L. doll, quickly erases those moments, drowning them in adorable high jinks.  

Leaving aside the fake nails and boob implants, with Cardi the artifice is in the artwork. In the space of less than a year, her music, videos, and fashion have made her a star of Lady Gaga proportions. She releases hit after hit; following last summer’s “I Like It,” the first Latin trap song to rise to number one on the Billboard Hot 100, with “Money,” a song, unsurprisingly, about money. In the video, she wears gorgeous clothes (she’s got “10 different looks and my looks all kill,” she raps), including outfits referencing Thierry Mugler, a gold bikini inspired by 1990s Lil’ Kim’s, and a custom Christian Cowan bodysuit fabricated from dozens of actual watches. She’s a post-Kardashian American superstar, a master of selfies, belfies, late-night Instagram videos, and all other manner of self-promotion— and also a creative genius. In 2019, no one needs to pick.  

Raised in the Bronx, Cardi was the naturally rebellious daughter of a Trinidadian-born cashier mother and a Dominican Republic–born cabdriver father. Her mother was strict. Nevertheless she joined the notorious Bloods gang, moved out of her mother’s home and in with a boyfriend and, finding herself broke, took a job as a cashier at a grocery store. To build a nest egg, she became a stripper. To build a bigger nest egg, she became a hot girl on social media. In 2015, she was cast as a lovable loudmouth on the VH1 reality show Love & Hip Hop: New York, then began releasing her own mixtapes. Her debut single, “Bodak Yellow,” went to the top of the charts, and it took her only one album to achieve escape velocity: Invasion of Privacy, arguably the best debut album from a female rapper since Lil’ Kim’s 1996 Hard Core. 

It’s an intense time for Cardi, now one of the biggest rappers—and one of the most famous women in the world—caring for an infant and dealing with a semi-estranged husband. Her answer is to be as real as she can. As much as she may imagine herself as a princess, she talks about admiring Meghan Markle for becoming a real one. “She must just be like, ‘Who am I?’” Cardi says, referring to Markle’s having to live by the royal family’s rules. Not being able to be herself would be the worst punishment for Cardi. 

Up and down, joy and pain, sunshine and rain—we’ve experienced all her days on her social media channels, where she posts close-up, emotional videos like an Instagram mime. She’s not your typical grasping celebrity, and doesn’t get off on endless adulation. “I work with somebody who gives me compliments all day, and I’m like, ‘Oh, my gosh, can you just stop?’” she says.   

Cardi’s fans have been so protective of her that when Offset broke in to her set at a concert, walking onstage with a $15,000 rolling floral display made of 2,000 roses that read TAKE ME BACK CARDI, they exploded on social media with anger over a man who refused to take a woman’s “no” at face value. (A backstage video showing one of Cardi’s reps escorting Offset to the stage did little to dim the outrage.)  

I ask if any family or friends influenced her decision to leave Offset. “No, I decided on my own,” she declares, looking me straight in the eye. “Nobody makes my decisions about my life but me.” Before they broke up, Offset begged Cardi to see a therapist. “I didn’t want to go to marriage counseling,” she says, in a firm tone of voice. “He suggested it, but it’s like, ‘I don’t want to go.’ There’s no counselor or nothing that could make me change my mind.”

Like many women who’ve experienced heartache and alleged infidelity, she seems caught between wanting to stay and leave. As Elizabeth Gilbert wrote in Eat Pray Love, Offset is “[her] lighthouse and [her] albatross in equal measure.” But Cardi also knows that dating new guys might be bizarre. “I have a kid, and I’m also famous,” she says quietly. “So I can’t just sleep with anybody. People talk. You know, if I date somebody in the industry, that’s another person in the industry. If I date somebody who is not in the industry, he might not understand my lifestyle.” Since the breakup, she’s been getting a ton of messages from guys but ignoring them. “It’s like, ‘Bro, why would you want to holler at me right away? You’re weird.’ If you think Imma automatically hop onto you after a marriage, that just means you think I’m a sleaze. And I’m not. I have a kid—I have to show an example.”

Bui, who has been listening intently to our interview while crafting Cardi’s nails, waves a hand and then interjects, “You’re so old-fashioned!”

“Jenny, just because I’m out there and very sexual doesn’t mean that I have to be whorish,” says Cardi. “I like to have sex. That doesn’t mean I have to have it with everybody.” She pauses, then adds, “Not that I judge women who want to have sex with the world.”

Done with her rant, Cardi turns her attention to her nails. “Damn, that’s sharp,” she says to Bui, whistling a little under her breath. “The polish will make them less sharp, right? Because we can’t forget about the baby.” Ignoring her, Bui says only, “Don’t move.”

Throughout our conversation, Cardi has been jiggling her leg up and down like a schoolkid. I ask her how long she’s had that habit. “Forever, and you know what? People always talk shit about it, but now it’s like, ‘Ha ha,’ because when I do it my daughter likes it,” she says.    

Despite the indelible image of Cardi breast-feeding in the “Money” video, wearing a black gown open at the bodice, she isn’t breast-feeding Kulture, whom she’s nicknamed KK. “It was too hard,” she explains. In fact, she spent most of the time after the baby was born in a haze of postpartum depression. “I thought I was going to avoid it,” Cardi says. “When I gave birth, the doctor told me about postpartum, and I was like, ‘Well, I’m doing good right now, I don’t think that’s going to happen.’ But out of nowhere, the world was heavy on my shoulders.”

Realizing that taking KK with her on the tour bus was unrealistic but unable to bear leaving her at home, Cardi dropped out of a lucrative tour with Bruno Mars. She started feeling better a couple of months after the baby was born, she says, and her mother has been helping out; Cardi hasn’t hired professional help because she isn’t sure she can trust anyone outside her family.

As a new mom, Cardi is still experiencing aches and pains. “For some reason, I still don’t feel like my body’s the same,” she says. “I feel like I don’t have my balance right yet. When it comes to heels, I’m not as good at walking anymore. I feel like I’m holding a weight on me. I don’t know why because I’m skinnier than I’ve ever been. But there’s an energy I haven’t gotten back yet that I had before I was pregnant. It’s just the weirdest thing.”

The baby is starting to help Cardi balance her emotions, though. “Sometimes I’ll see something online and it’ll piss me off, and then my baby will start crying or something, and it’s like, ‘You know what? I’ve got to deal with the milk. Forget this.’” She’s thinking about pulling back a little from social media. “I’ve noticed that every time you respond, you just make things worse, so I’m over it. I’m just over it. I really don’t need it, and sometimes it just brings chaos to my brain.” She adds, “I can stay off social media. I’ve been trying.” For months after KK was born, Cardi didn’t put pictures of her on social media, and certainly didn’t sell any to the tabloids. She says Offset wanted to put a picture up, but she was unsure.  

“As soon as she was born, one month in he was like, ‘She’s so beautiful. Watch how people gonna go crazy.’ ’Cause a lot of people were saying mean stuff, like that we don’t post her because she’s ugly. He was like, ‘I’m about to post my baby right now.’ But then we were very concerned because we were getting a lot of threats, so he said, ‘The world don’t even deserve to see her.’” Eventually Cardi wanted to put a photo up because “it’s really annoying and we don’t have a life. We have to hide her all the time. I can’t go to L.A. or Miami and walk down the beach with my baby. I want to go shopping with my baby. I want to take a stroll with my baby. Sometimes I feel bad for her because all she knows is the house.” But can’t you put on a baseball cap? I ask. Will people still recognize you? “Yeah,” she says. “It’s my nose.” 

Bui applies a final coat of purple paint on Cardi’s nails—a brief discussion ensues about whether the shade is the exact “baby purple” Cardi has requested—and then she talks about needing to get home to go to sleep. “I’ve got a big meeting in the morning in Boston,” Cardi says, nodding slowly. “Lots of money in Boston.” She begins horsing around with her six-year-old half-brother, ribbing him for being rebellious the way she used to be. “He’s a child of the corn!” she wails. “He’s just like me.” (Her half-sister adds, “Like you, sharp but sweet.”) Bui says she thought that when Cardi hit it big, she wouldn’t see her in the salon again. “I told her, ‘You’re going to forget about me,’ ” Bui says. “And she said, ‘Never.’”

[p4nkow]

Happier - part III

i love the fact that you guys are loving Happier as much as i do! here’s part 3

as usual let me know what you think, i love reading your comments! and ofc it can be read as Ben!Roger

Part I , Part II

Summary: you work as an assistant at EMI and you meet Roger while organising Queen’s gig at Hyde Park. lots of fluff but then, after months of relationship, Roger admits something that breaks your heart and the two of you break up. You try to move on and so does he, but after two months of being apart you meet at a pub and you both have a date. What will happen? But most importantly, will you and Roger fall in love again after being forced to see each other everyday?

Warnings: Paul Prenter being... y’know, Paul Prenter

“Did she really say she wasn't impressed?” Veronica was clearly amused by the things you were telling her about your date night.

You started to play with the phone cord, laying on your couch as you updated your best friend on your amorous adventures.

“Yeah, 'cause it wasn't their first date. So typical of Roger.”

You heard her huff on the phone. "What I thought wasn't so typical of him was being a complete asshole."

You chuckled at her words, nodding even though she couldn't see you. “How the hell are we supposed to be friends when I was dumped by him? Is that humanly possible?”

“If he says so. Y/N, please, don’t forget what he said to you.” She was almost begging you through the phone.

“Ronnie I won’t, I promise. I’m moving on. I’m way over him by now.” It wasn’t exactly the truth and you hated lying to her but you didn’t want for her to worry about you.

“And what about Noah? Didn’t the two of you have dinner at your place yesterday?”

“Yeah, we did” You replied with a smile.

“And?” You were amused by Veronica’s hopeful tone.

“And nothing happened, don’t fantasise about it.” She groaned and you narrowed your brows. “What’s wrong?”

“This little peanut is kicking so hard I‘m starting to think he’s making his way out by force.”

You smiled and you sat down, glancing at your dog. “Maybe you should pick a real name for that little peanut” You teased her.

You immediately thought of her belly and you couldn’t help but think how your life would have been if you were still with Roger. Would you have started a family? Bought a big house far from the city lights? No matter how much you though about it, you just couldn’t imagine Roger settling down.

“We’re brainstorming names, I swear.”

You chuckled, brought back to reality by her words. “Yeah, I can only imagine John’s— hey! Ringo, don’t! Let it go!”

You let go your receiver in order to get back your shoe from your dog, ending up running around the couch in order to catch him. “Ringo!”

You quickly went back to the phone, saying in an heavy breath “Ronnie, gotta go. Ringo took my shoe.”

You heard Veronica chuckle from the other side of the phone. “Maybe getting a dog of almost 100 Ibs wasn’t the best idea you ever got. And name it Ringo? What the hell were you thinking? Isn’t it... I dunno, some kind of dog trauma?”

You softly laughed at her words, looking at your dog while played with your sneaker. “There’s nothing wrong with my dog nor with its name. Ringo’s cool.”

“Ringo Starr wouldn’t be happy to know you named your dog after him, though.”

“There’s no need for him to know.” You quickly glanced at the clock hanging on the wall and swore under your breath. “Fuck, I’m late. Gotta get to work.”

“Call me later if there’s any news.”

After getting off the phone you hurried to get ready, spending at least ten minutes to choose what to wear. You wanted to dress to impress, but on who? Roger? You didn’t do that anymore.

The ride didn’t take you long but you were nervous as hell. You did nothing but hum random songs he entire way until you got to the studio. You were happy to notice that Roger’s car wasn’t there yet so you didn’t think that much before going in.

As soon as you stepped in you felt like home. You had spent entire days in that room, surrounded by instruments and electronic devices built by John.

You kinda missed all the spats between the boys, which ended up in different pubs every night. You raised your gaze to the high ceiling and you smiled, taking a deep breath. You wouldn’t have allowed Roger to ruin your job.

“I heard we’ve got a new assistant.” You jumped by hearing that deep voice and Brian chuckled. He was sitting right in front of one of the biggest windows with a notebook placed on his knees, probably working on a new song. He immediately stood up and approached you.

“Heard that, too. I hope she’s good, though.” You replied as you held him in an embrace. God, you’d missed him.

“Missed you, space boy” You softly said against his curly hair and he held you tighter.

“Missed you too, bossy.”

You gave him an amused smile and friendly patted him. “Still stuck on that?”

“Always.”

“What are you working on?” You nodded towards the notebook and he shrugged, giving it to you. “Fat bottomed girls. I like it.”

Brian’s smile grew wider as he met your gaze, looking at the lyrics first and then at you. “Really?”

“Really. Even though I don’t really wanna know what kind of nannies you had as a child.”

He bursted into laughter and the pair of you have been interrupted by the sound of door closing. You turned towards it and you immediately smiled as you saw John coming in.

You hadn’t really really missed him considering the fact that you saw him almost everyday, thanks to Veronica.

“Hey Deaks” You greeted him as you looked back at the notebook, trying to pay attention to the lyric of Brian’s song.

“‘s good to see you back in here. Are you updating her on the booty’s song?” Deaky asked as he approached you and Brian gave him a death stare.

“Fat bottomed girls” He clarified and John limited himself to just stare at him.

You chuckled and you looked at them, returning the notebook to Brian. “I’d love to read something of yours, too. Maybe after I catch up on everything.”

“Sure” He said with a nod and he walked towards his bass. You met Brian’s gaze and tried not to laugh as you shrugged and approached on of the shelves with lots of documents.

Ten minutes passed by before the door opened again. You turned towards it, hoping it would be Freddie but you were wrong.

Roger came in, his left arm surrounding Nicole’s shoulders. She bursted into laughter because of something Roger said and they looked at each other in the eyes. Well, not really because Roger was wearing shades, but that was the idea.

You cleared your throat and you looked back at your papers, trying to catch up with everything you had missed.

“Hi everyone” Nicole said with a big, bright smile and you raised your gaze. You forced yourself to smile back at her and that’s when she noticed you “Hey, Y/N! Rog, look who’s here.”

Roger met your gaze and slowly moved his arm off Nicole’s shoulders, giving you a nod. “Yeah, hi.”

You didn’t reply and went back to work as they sat on the couch, still giggling as teenagers. You clenched your jaw and tried to focus but you couldn’t think clearly. Bloody Roger Taylor.

“You okay?” Deaky murmured, leaning towards you as he softly played a riff on his bass.

You faked a smile and nodded, closing the binder with a thud. “Yeah, I’m fine.” The sound echoed all over the room and you caught Roger’s attention. His blue eyes were on you as he gently caressed Nicole’s shoulder, casually nodding at her but not really paying attention to what she was saying.

You cleared your throat and said out loud “So, anyone who wants to catch me up on everything?”

“I’ll do it, darling!” Freddie popped in to the room and your smile grew wider as soon as you saw him. “Fred!” You walked towards him and you threw your arms around his neck, hugging him tight. He hugged you back, placing a hand on your back as he murmured “As much as I love being this close to you, dear, I’d like to take a few breaths.”

You backed away and gave him an apologetic smile and only then you noticed Paul Prenter standing right next to him. “Paul” You greeted him with a nod.

“Look who’s here” He murmured, looking at you first and then at Roger and Nicole. He gave you an evil grin before passing you by and taking a seat on one of the chairs.

“Come, darling. There’s a lot you need to know.” Freddie led you to an armchair placed right in front of the couch and you sat down with a deep sight. Brian sat in one on the armrest and gave you a warm smile.

You were all sat in a circle and you tried to avoid Roger and Nicole’s gaze as much as you could.

“So, you’re working on a new album.”

“Jazz” Roger immediately answered and you nodded without looking at him. You heard Freddie cough but you avoided his gaze, too. The tension was palpable.

“Right, Jazz.”

“I’m working on a few songs, so is Freddie. John’s too busy with the bun in the oven but he’s got something, too. Roger, on the other hand...” Brian didn’t finish his sentence and you gave him a confused smile.

You looked at Roger, who was giving him a death stare. “I’m working on something, too.”

“Yeah, a fuckin’ disco song.”

You raised your brows at their little spat, deciding to intervene. “‘kay, I got it. How many tracks?”

Prenter looked at you with the same green as earlier but it was Freddie who replied. “Hopefully thirteen, maybe fourteen.”

“Good, that’s good. And when are you planning to record it?”

“If everything’s ready then on July, in Montreux.” John looked at you with the corner of his eye, folding his hands in front of him.

“Can I come?” Nicole asked but no one answered her.

“July? But the baby is supposed—”

“I know” John said, interrupting you and you sighed in displeasure.

John and Veronica’s baby was supposed to be born towards the end of July and he wouldn’t even been there for his wife. That sucked.

Wait, did he just say Montreux? In Switzerland?

“Switzerland?” You asked in disbelief and Nicole chuckled. You completely ignored her.

“Bowie recorded there, too.” It was the first time Prenter intervened and you gave him a confused look.

“And how exactly that does concern us?”

He shrugged and looked at Roger with a grin, saying “He wrote Heroes in Montreux. Isn’t it about two young lovers who fight for their love?”

You clenched your jaw as you tried to avoid his jab. Roger looked back at him and answered in a low voice “Yes, yes it is.”

“Though nothing will keep us together” Paul murmured, quoting Bowie’s words. “Ah, so heartbreaking. He wrote it for his mistress!”

“That’s enough” Deaky spat and you cleared your throat, looking away from everyone.

“So, on July in Montreux. Awesome.” You murmured and silence fell on the room for a few moments.

“And hopefully by then Roger will remember that he’s in a band.”

Roger couldn’t take anymore Brian’s jabs and he stood up, his arms wide open. “‘kay, that’s enough. What’s wrong with you, mate?”

“The real question is what’s wrong with you.”

You noticed Brian’s gaze moving to Nicole and you had a bad feeling about that entire situation.

“Watch it” Roger murmured under his breath and you quickly stood up, placing yourself in among the two of them.

“Bri, please” You tried to catch his attention but he didn’t look at you, so you turned towards Roger. It was the last thing you wanted to do but you placed a hand on his chest in order to stopping him from moving forward towards Brian.

“Roger” You softly said and his gaze immediately met yours. He was breathing heavily and so were you, but for a completely different reason.

As soon as he looked at your hand on his chest you backed away, recoiling from him. You cleared your throat and said “That’s enough, you guys gotta get back to work. You have an album to make.”

“She’s right, let’s get back to work.” Freddie backed you and without any chitchats everyone took their place and Nicole made herself very comfortable in the couch.

Roger and Brian seemed to have forgotten their little spat as they rehearsed and you glanced at them once or twice while talking with Prenter.

He was catching you up on the tour you had to schedule when you suddenly heard Roger exclaim “We can’t slow down!”

Brian deeply sighed at his words while Freddie chuckled. “I’m trying to slow it a little down—“

“Well it doesn’t need slowing down, it’s— god, it’s creeping at the moment!” Roger said by interrupting Brian.

“Is everything okay?” You asked and Freddie glanced at you.

“Oh yes, darling. It happens all the time. Alright, try—”

“God, it was so slow! And it was getting even slower. You always try to play this like I’ve never—”

“Roger” Nicole softly said as to catch his attention, to calm him down. You used to do that when stuff like this happened and your heart sank.

John didn’t pay her attention and said in an amused tone “You’re playing the fucking twelve string.”

“Alright, that’s enough.” Fred moved the mic’s wire and took again his position.

“Alright then, I’ll follow you!” Roger replied, all fed up.

You stared at him longer than you should have but you just couldn’t stop looking at him.

You still weren’t used to his short hair but they gave him a different look— even hotter. You couldn’t resist him when he was behind his drums— the way he twirled his drumsticks or the way he shook his head when hitting the cymbals... just wow.

“Y/N” Paul suddenly said, trying to catch your attention.

“Hm?”

“Nicole doesn’t look much happy about you staring at his boyfriend.”

You immediately raised his gaze to meet his, giving him a death stare. “‘m not staring.”

“I understand, Roger’s been your great love, but don’t you really think—”

He’s been interrupted by Nicole, who was now standing and looking at you. “Y/N?”

You turned towards her with a worried look, fearing that she’d say something about you staring at Roger. That’s until you noticed Noah standing next to her.

“Noah!” You quickly reached him and you bit her lip as soon as you were in front of him, trying not to smile. You threw your arms around him and you hugged him, glad that he was there to save you from that situation.

“Well, hello to you too.” He placed a hand on your back and held you tight, chuckling against your ear.

You heard the guys whispering behind your back and you heard Roger “What’s he doing here?” But you completely ignored him.

However you asked Noah that exact same question, to which he answered “Hello boys!” He said greeting them before turning back to you. “You gotta sign a few papers, bureaucratic stuff. All boring but necessary things.”

You slowly nodded, leading him to the closest table.

As you gave a quick look at the papers you told him loud enough for the boys to hear “After the rehearsals we’re planning on going to a pub for a drink a few blocks down. D’ya wanna come?”

You looked at him with hopeful eyes and he was about to answer you when he was interrupted by Roger. “Actually is more like... a band thing.”

You let go your papers and slowly looked at him, replying with your brows raised “A bandthing?”

He shrugged and you could barely see him from behind his drums. Why was he wearing his bloody shades inside? But more importantly, why was he being an asshole?

“Y/N, it’s okay. I can—”

You shook your head and you interrupted Noah by saying “No, it’s fine. If it’s a band thing then I shouldn’t go either. We can order Indian food and we can watch Happy Days at my place.”

Noah looked at you with a big, bright smile. “You sure? You’re gonna miss all the fun.”

“Oh, my dear. That’s bullshit, don’t even listen to Roger. The two of you are more than welcome. Nicole’s coming too!” Freddie said by nodding at her. Of course she was.

Deaky gave you the kind of look which said ‘I already know what you’re thinking’ and that’s probably why he didn’t seem surprised when you shook your head and said “No, I’d rather spend the night with Noah. Thanks Fred.”

You faked a smile and you focused back on the papers, quickly signing where it was needed before giving them back to Noah. “D’ya mind ordering at the restaurant? I can pick it up when I head back home.”

“C’mon, Y/N. Come with us. You too, Noah.” Brian said by trying to persuade you but you never looked away from Noah, who nodded at your question and placed a kiss between your hair.

“I’ll go get something for Ringo, too.”

“There’s no need, you know that.”

He started to recoil, never stop smiling at you. “You know I love that dog. See ya later.”

You watched him disappear behind the front door and since that moment you never looked at Roger, not even once. You were so bloody mad at him that you wanted to punch him straight in the face.

You had the chance to state that time flies faster when you’re mad, and that’s why rehearsals were over before you could even notice it. 

You quickly grabbed your things and made your way to the front door, exclaiming a general “Bye, boys!”

“So you’re not coming with us, are you?” Nicole asked you on your way out and you shook your head without looking at her.

“Have fun” You murmured while pushing the door, storming out of the room.

You heard John calling you but you didn’t stop and you also heard Brian murmuring “Roger, sometimes you’re a total prick.”

As you told Noah, you stopped by the restaurant to grab your ordination and quickly headed back home, swearing under your breath every time you thought of Roger. Bloody idiot. Bloody, bloody moron.

You petted Ringo as soon as you arrived home, trying to distract yourself. Noah arrived shortly after and the two of you were having dinner sitting on the couch and making comments about Happy Days.

“I swear it, I still have that exact same jacked somewhere.”

“Like Fonzie’s?”

Noah quickly looked at you and you gave him an amused smile. “Don’t laugh at me, they were cool a few years back.”

“Yeah, right.”

The two of you spent most of the night like that, cuddling on the couch while watching sitcoms over sitcoms. Noah wasn’t the kind of guy who made you pressure or speeded things up. He was a quiet person, and maybe quiet was exactly what you needed after being with a hurricane of emotions like Roger.

It was almost 1AM and you had fallen asleep in his arms. He was gently hugging you and you were so comfy that you didn’t want to move to the bed. Ringo had fallen asleep too and he was laying at the foot of the sofa, snoring out loud.

You groaned when you heard a loud sound waking you up. You were so confused that at first you didn’t even realise it came from the front door— someone was knocking.

“What’s wrong?” Noah murmured without opening his eyes and you quickly broke the embrace and stood up.

You rubbed your eyes, trying to completely wake up. You tried to be as silent as possible as you walked up to the door, looking through the peephole in your tiptoes. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing and that’s why, under Noah’s questioning gaze, you quickly unlocked the door.

“Roger?”

Taglist: @but-legendsneverdie @ohtheseboysilove @xgypsy-witchy-vibes @queen-turtle-boiii @scarsout @hystericaldancingqueen @mercurycrowley @protectrowanwhitethorn  @70sarreaga @loveandbeloved29 

If you wanna be added in the taglist just tell me!

[lisinfleur]

Mishaps - Chapter 07: Masquerade

Author’s Notes | Closer and closer to an end! Aethelwulf lovers, #shorry Words | 2447 ⁑ Warnings: Some ANGST, cursing.

Officer Aethelwulf's car stopped in front of the Police Station and he came out of the car, opening the door for you. You said nothing, just accepting when he softly conducted you towards the entrance, giving him the safety you would keep the line and say everything he needed.

But your steps weren't lost. You weren't shaking or anything. Not this time.

Your time at his car, traveling from Hvitserk's apartment towards that Station allowed you to think, to figure out the whole situation your fear of the truths under your masks caused.

Your life was a lie.

You lied to every single person around you and now, guilt was kicking in strong and hard.

You lied to your best friend. How hurt would July be when she discovered the truth about your whole life? How many lies did you have to say when she was telling you her secrets? How many of them made her think you fit the profile to be her best friend?

You lied to your boss. Would she hire you if she knew who you really were? Where did you really come from?

You lied to him. You lied to someone you loved. Your lies caused him to get in trouble and now, you probably fucked up your relationship.

And the price would fall over an innocent's shoulders. The one you were carrying into your belly. The one Hvitserk didn't even have the chance to know existed.

He wasn't completely truthful with you at the beginning, but he never lied. He never told you anything about his life and his family business, but he also never said he was something he wasn't. He never gave you a fake name, a fake history. Hvitserk opened himself to you and you...

You fucked him.

And if someone could undo all the shit your lies caused, this someone was you. And if something could solve these problems, this something was exactly the lies you said about everything around you.

"So, we're here to talk about the situation you were into, Miss Watson..."

"My name is not Mary Ann Watson," you started, causing Aethelwulf to smile at the officer who was conducting the interview.

"Her file is into the folder, Heahmund. You can have more details by reading it later. Let us just focus on the testimony, ok? So," he tried to take the reins and accelerate towards the point he wanted. "Tell us about how Hvitserk Ragnarsson abducted you. Did it happen at your work location?"

"We don't mention names this way, officer Aethelwulf," the man he named Heahmund reprehended him. "We also don't make affirmations...".

You had no time for lectures about Police's procedures...

"There was no abduction, kidnapping, sequestration, whatever you want to call. It didn't happen."

Your sentence seemed to throw all the blood on Aethelwulf's body to his face, especially when officer Heahmund leaned his head looking at him with a confused expression.

Aethelwulf chuckled, almost like a pressure pan starting to hiss with little puffs of air through its whistle.

"Stockholm. Clearly!" he pointed out, causing Heahmund's eyebrow to rise towards the top of his forehead. "Darling, I don't really know what Hvitserk told you, but that man kept you out of your home and out of touch for months! You might have some affection for him, but yet, what he did is..."

"Officer Aethewulf, I'll have to warn you once again about who's conducting this interrogatory and heading this operation. Can you please stop making affirmations towards the suspect?"

Aethelwulf chuckled again. One more puff from the pressure pan... His eyes were looking at you as if he would rip your soul outta your body, but yet, you kept the serenity on your face while he was gesturing to Heahmund, allowing him to continue with the interrogatory he didn't even have the chance to properly start.

"Alright," Heahmund started, messing with the papers and finding your folder, running his eyes over your files. "Here it says you're a part of the Witnesses Protection Program. So, Mary Ann Watson is the identity that was given to you by the program. Is that right?"

"Yes," you answered looking at him, trying to ignore Aethelwulf's nervous figure by his side. "My true name is Y/N Horiksdóttir, and I would like to be called properly, please."

"Fine. Y/N. Can I call you like that?" he said and you nodded, accepting better to be called by your first name due to the facts. "Perfect... Can you tell us what happened?"

Heahmund was a good officer, you could see it through his eyes. He was really interested in finding out the truth about the occurred, so you focused on his eyes, ignoring Aethelwulf unsettled legs or the way he was rubbing his face, wiping the sweat from his forehead as you were speaking.

You took a deep breath. You lied your whole life... It was time for those lies to save you somehow.

"As you can see, I spent my whole life locked down in an identity that wasn't mine. My whole life lying to people I liked, unable to tell the truth about myself to friends and significant ones. And then, I knew Hvitserk... And I fell in love with him. Officer Heahmund, you shall understand me: to lie isn't something anyone should be forced to. Hvitserk was the best thing that ever happened to my life and for the first time, I was feeling happy, in love. I felt there was something real happening to me in a world built of lies everywhere. I didn't want Hvitserk to be another lie in my life. I didn't want my lies to fuck up everything with him. So, I abandoned my lies when he called me to his hunting cabin for a time out. I decided I didn't want to come back to Mary Ann's life. I didn't warn anyone about my departure and I just dove with everything into this relationship, hoping I could leave Mary Ann behind and be myself again. With him."

Your words were sounding like acid drops slowly pouring down Aethelwulf's ears. The pan was overwhelmed with pressure and he was sighing and sighing, like the whistle about to explode.

"Hvitserk did nothing. He doesn't really know what is going on. I went into this trip by myself and for my own rediscovering, but I didn't tell him what I was doing. He's unwarned of what I got him into and I'm sorry it has brought so many problems for all of you. To be honest, I really believed nobody would care about Mary Ann since she's not a real person. I thought sooner or later people would just forget her and I could start over just like when you guys put me into this damn program and everyone just forgot everything about me. Everything about who I am."

Heahmund gently sighed and it caused Aethelwulf's legs to become more unsettled, moving faster, kicking over his heel as if there was a spring under his shoe.

Calmer, Heahmund closed your file in his hand and looked at you, serious.

"Miss, I hope you understand the dimensions of what your irresponsible behavior caused. You may live under a second identity, but you're still a person, Miss Y/N. You have friends that knew you under a false name, but they care about the person they knew and learned to love and this person, under Mary Ann or Y/N or whatever name you want to call her, is still you. Your best friend opened a missing report on this Station and a whole team of professionals was moved to search for a person that wasn't really missing. We could be solving a real case of missing person today. We could be finding someone else's daughter, girlfriend, lost friend. But here we are, losing time with a false report. I really hope you understand the gravity of your actions. You could have caused real problems to your so-called love. And now, if you allow me to express my opinion, I think he'll have all the right to be angry with you. Think twice before doing such a thing once again. Lessons were learned in this place today. I'll extinguish the report and..."

Everything was going in the right way. And then...

Boom...

The pan exploded.

"She's lying!" Aethelwulf squealed by Heahmund's side, looking from you to him and then to you again before hitting the table. "She's fucking lying, can't you see it? It's so obvious! She's god damn lying to protect that motherfucker because she fucking knows in what he's immersed to the neck!"

You tried to keep yourself firm in your position, but it was almost impossible not to shrink in your chair when Aethelwulf advanced towards you, towering upon the table, causing you to feel he was about to squeeze your neck for the information he wanted.

"Tell me the damn truth, you fucking little liar! Do you think I don't know you? Uh? I fucking know you! I know you and the damn cock you came from! Lying is in your shitty blood! But you don't convince me with this stupid fairy tale, little lady, so you better puke the whole story or I swear I'll fucking rip it out of you!!"

"Aethelwulf!" Heahmund held the rampant officer, pulling Aethelwulf away from you, excusing himself before pulling him outta the room.

Alone into the room, you sighed, hoping your lie would serve to more than just infuriating Aethelwulf whose screams of anger you could hear coming from the hall.

"SHE'S FUCKING LYING!!" he insisted.

Heahmund finally pulled Aetlhelwulf's collar.

"Put yourself straight or I'll ask the others to escort you to your office and keep you there until things are over!" he grunted, firmly. "I don't know what is wrong about this family that you want to hard to persecute, but the boy is clean. If there are no charges, there are no reasons for us to keep any of them here because of a girl's childish tantrums! We're a Police Station, not a Kindergarten!"

"I think you're completely right, officer Heahmund," a third hoarse voice came from the entrance of the hall warning the two officers their small arguing was being watched by a pair of blue eyes pretty well known for Aethelwulf. "There is no reason to keep my brother into your disgusting accommodations. Even more, if the charges against him don't exist anymore."

"Björn..." Aethelwulf grunted, infuriated.

But Heahmund just turned himself towards the suited blonde man, with a serious but peaceful expression.

"I suppose you're Björn Ragnarsson," he affirmed, accepting the hand offered towards him and shaking Björn's hand firmly, receiving a silent nod as an answer. "What happened was a mishap and I take it on me since I was heading the operation that..."

Once again, the pressure pan couldn't hold it exploding behind Heahmund, pointing Björn with his index.

"A mishap my balls!" Aethelwulf cursed, getting a sarcastic chuckle from the man in front of him. "The little bitch into that room is fucking lying and I know she's lying such as I know exactly who you are and what your dirty family does! And one day I'll find a way to turn these disgusting accommodations into your permanent residence, you greasy bastard!"

Björn just chuckled, pretending to be surprised with Aethelwulf's reaction.

They were old acquaintances and Björn knew exactly the way his mere presence was a tease for the police officer with wrinkled forehead in front of him. Yet, he turned his glare towards the other, Heahmund, intentionally treating Aethelwulf as nothing to be bothered with.

Heahmund had sweat in his forehead. The man in front of him was surely the most powerful man in the city and Aethewulf's behavior was putting him into bad sheets!

"I'm truly sorry, Mr. Lothbrok," he hurried in apologizing, annoying Aethelwulf even more.

Something Björn didn't lose the chance to feed by showing his best blazé expression, gently waving his hand as if Aethelwulf was really nothing he couldn't let pass.

Something insignificant...

"Don't worry. I understand. It must be hard to build a whole case over a broken base. You guys invested too much work to get to nowhere, after all. When can I pick up my brother?"

"You god damn motherfucker, I'll..." Aethelwulf threatened to explode once again, being readily held back by Heahmund, already irritated by his terrible behavior.

"Enough! Go and provide the papers for Hvitserk's releasing, Aethelwulf! Don't give me more reasons to fuck up your report for this case." Heahmund ordered.

And Björn repeated, lightly straightening his cufflinks, getting the sleeves in its correct place, careless about the fury of the officer. With some luck, Aethelwulf would burst a ball and he would have something to laugh about from that whole shitty situation.

"Yes, officer Aethelwulf, please provide these papers for coming here was a non-expected compromise and well, I have meetings to attend and a flight still today. So, if you can please make my life easier, I would be grateful."

"You asshole!" Aethelwulf cursed, infuriated.

When did his perfect day was ruined like this?

"I said 'enough’, Aethelwulf!" Heahmund tried to interfere, but this time, Aethelwulf just pushed him aside.

"Fuck the damn report! I don't give a shit! Now you listen to me, you prick," he started in between clenched teeth, pointing his index towards Björn, angrily. "You won't fucking hide behind your fancy suits forever, you bastard! I'll fuck you and I'll show what you are to everyone who uses to venerate this shitty family of yours! And it will be soon, Björn, you be sure it will be soon! Get yourself ready!" he threatened.

And Björn eyes glowed in a sharp glare towards him, complemented by the smile in the small curve in his lips, taunting.

"Whenever you have something solid proved about what you say, officer, I'll gladly have an hour with my lawyers to sit and answer your questions. But until there, you're just taking my time and I'm sure you cannot pay for my minutes. So... About those papers?" Björn's fingers moved, waving to shove Aethelwulf towards the corridor, causing the officer to growl infuriated.

This time, Heahmund pushed him towards the office.

"Papers, Aethelwulf! Now!" he ordered, finally taking the patent and the header's position to force Aethelwulf to his work.

Growling and slamming doors, Aethelwulf crossed the corridor, cursing Björn's thirtieth generation as the blond man just followed him with his blue eyes, like a shark to a smaller fish.

Björn knew Aethelwulf's obsession could become something really dangerous for him. But the game was fun. So why not to play?

Do you like my work? Support me!

Tagged ones:

|| @bluearchersstuff || @ivarswickedqueen || @directionlessbuthappy || @akamaiden || @bang-kim-bap || @cris101071 || @solveigs-temple || @volvas-temple || @alicedopey || @captstefanbrandt || @queen-see-ya-in-valhalla || @lol-haha-joke || @normatural || @readsalot73 || @shutter-bug124 || @rekdreams247 || @slutforasoldier || @naaladareia || @laketaj24 || @therealcalicali || @grungyblonde || @arses21434 || @honestsycrets || @rabeccablake  || @2thequietone4 || @blackspiritshake || @vikingsbifrost || @sincerelysinister || @x-valhalla || @allvikingsfanfic || @harringtonsbaseballbat || @lyanna-the-giantsbane || @chinduda || @isthat-tyra98 || @hissouthernprincess || @xinyourdreamsx ||

Want to be tagged? Ask me!