#I did my best to translate to english I hope its enough

[w0rmm1lk]

I saw that you were receiving requests and I was wondering if you could write a Bakugou x male reader angst (both adults and married if possible, but it doesn't necessarily have to be.) where they There's an argument and the reader leaves the house at night and comes back just a week later (because Bakugou said some bad things. I don't think he would do that but I love angst where the character almost literally has to kneel down and ask the reader for forgiveness 😭😭😭) I'm sorry if it's too detailed and forgive my English, I'm Brazilian and I'm using Google Translate ☠️... (oh! and with a happy ending please����)

Yayyy first request hehe

Summary: reader and bakugo got into a small argument about bakugo not being home enough due to his hero work, bakugo being himself the argument escalated into something worse.

reader: Male

other details: Hero!Bakugo, Readers job not mentioned (can be read as hero reader or other). It is mentioned that reader has a sibling but details about them are not specified.

warnings: angst-(fluff at end), swearing(its bakugo what did you expect) implied married reader and bakugo but not mentioned. Kinda ooc but I tried my best 🥲

You and bakugo had been together for quite some time. You first started the relationship when he was in his second year at UA, but you had known eachother since middle school. So of course you knew eachother very well, and were very close. Or well, as close as you can be with bakugo.

when you first got together he had been quite distant, but you understood. He wasn’t use to this kind of thing, yet it didn’t take him long to adjust. Long story short after he graduated you both ended up moving in together.

you had quickly gotten use to how much bakugo worked. He was so desperate to be the No.1 hero, and of course as his boyfriend/husband you supported him in that. Yet, sometimes you felt that he was more focused on that than you. He was rarely ever home leaving you to do most of the house work, including the laundry, dishes, buying groceries, ect. at first it wasn’t anything to worry about, you were mostly okay with it since you got to stay home most of the time, but sometimes it would get lonley. It was weird… you had been in a relationship for so long and even lived with him yet the house felt so empty and devoid of life. You thought that it was maybe a good idea to bring this up with bakugo. He would understand…right?

You ended up needing to stay up quite late that night waiting for him to return. He always worked overtime just to get his rank higher. He was already in the top ten… why did he worry so much…?

you felt a small jolt of surprise when you heard the front door unlock, sitting up you looked over to see bakugo. Despite being right there he didn’t seem to notice you.

“Katsuki..? Can we talk real quick?” You spoke, trying to seem calm. Despite this your heart was beating like crazy, it felt like some part of you was screaming to not bring up the issues. “Hm? Oh, you’re still awake.” He replied.. yet it seemed quite delayed.

“ah- yeah… but we need to talk.” He looked over with an annoyed expression. “Not right now.” His reply… shocked you to say the least. “Katsuki. It’s important. It’ll be quick I just need to—“ he cut you off with an annoyed sigh. “I said not right now Y/N.”

“This can’t really wait for later—“ he glared. “Do you not get what *not right now* means?” He raised his voice slightly as he spoke, his eyes piercing into your softer gaze. “It’ll be quick—! I swear.” You spoke, hoping that he would take a moment to sit down and hear you out.

he rolled his eyes tilting his head back letting out a dramatic sigh. “Fine. Let’s just get this over with.” I felt a bit of relief as he accepted. I waited a moment as he sat down on the couch beside me. “The hell do you want? It’s so goddamn late.” Despite him agreeing to speak it was clear how much he didn’t want to.

“i… I was thinking, could you maybe… try spending a bit more time at home…? I know how important your hero work is to you- and I don’t want to stop you from reaching your goal but… we haven’t really spent much time together in the last few months, and— I guess I’ve been kinda lonley…?”

he stared at you, his gaze not breaking for even a second as he spoke. You looked back as you finished, expecting him to understand, but instead you were met with a rather… interesting, expression.

his expression gave off the kinda mood of *are you being serious?*

“that’s what this was about? This is what was so fucking important you just had to talk about it right now?”

what he said… it almost hurt slightly. “What…? What do you mean? I think this is something that’s pretty important.” He rolled his eyes at your response. “Tch, I get how needy you are but I can’t just throw away all my work just for you.”

“what-? I- that’s not what I’m saying-! You’re only ever home at night after I’m asleep and you’re gone once I wake up! I’m not being needy! And asking to see you at least once everyday while living in the same house is not being needy!”

his expression made it clear he was pissed off. “Do you not realise how important my work is? How important it is for me to become no.1? Or does it all not matter to you?!” You stare at him in slight shock, it was weird how much he was misunderstanding the situation.

“that’s not what I mean! I just want to spend more time with you-! If I’m going to be stuck at home all day I at least want to see someone-! Especially you!”

“I can’t just throw away my work to spend my whole day with you! My life doesn’t revolve around you!” He stood up looking down at you.

“Katsuki! That’s not what I mean-! You—“ He cut you off. “If you think I can put everything aside just for you then— you’re mistaken.” There was an awkward silence in the room for just a moment. “You should just go.” You stared at him, your eyes locked onto eachother. “What…?” “Tch— I said you should go-!”

“Katsuki— what are you talking about?!”

“…. You know damn well what I mean.”

the silence started again lasting for a good twenty seconds. You could feel the tears building up yet not spilling. “Fine.” You stood up grabbing your phone and keys walking out the door. You didn’t know what to do but just listen.

you looked at your phone for just a moment before texting your sibling, you didn’t really have anywhere to stay so you hoped they would let you crash at their place for a bit. You stare at the small screen… it was late so you could only hope they were still awake to reply. The amount of relief you felt when your screen lit up and a small notification read

..”sure.”

the next few days passed by so painfully slow. You stared at your phone most the time just hoping to see a notification from Bakugo, some sort of apology, or just a check up. nothing.

it didn’t help that he was quite a popular hero, you couldn’t even watch the news without seeing him.

after a full week past without anything from him, you realise that this was most likley an end to your relationship. All these years thrown away simply because you couldn’t handle not being near him.

you picked up your phone hesitating before sending bakugo a simple message.

“im coming over to grab my stuff. Be there in 20.”

you looked as the message sent, of course he left you on read.

despite it only being a 20 minutes drive, it felt like hours. Your mind was racing, you were nervous, scared to see him. As you walked to the front door you hesitated standing there for a good 30 seconds before finally knocking.

your heart was beating fast as the front door opened. “…come in.” He spoke. He looked more tired than ever, if anything it was a surprise he was even home. You simply nodded, stepping inside. The house looked like shit. You weren’t thinking that to be rude, it genuine looked like bakugo wasn’t doing anything to take care of it.

“y/n i—“ he was cut off staring at you, as you gave him the same glare he sent you a week ago. He averted his eyes like he was holding back tears. “Please— let’s… let’s talk about this….?”

“…what is there to talk about. You made it clear how you feel.”

“i— I had some time to think… a… a lot of time and— i- im… Tch— im fucking sorry okay?!”

you continued to stare at him, though the apology was genuine, you were scared to accept. You didn’t want things to just go back to how they were before.

“please y/n i— I didn’t realise how much I need you.. you’re so god damn important to me… i… took you for granted.”

you stayed silent staring at him. It’s not that you were being rude, you simply didn’t know what to say. You could see the desperation in his eyes but didn’t expect him to start tearing up.

“Y/n… please don’t leave me-! I.. I need you… please…” you watched as he grasped your hands tears pouring down his face as he struggled to even breath.

“im sorry for everything I said I— I had so much time to think and… I didn’t have my priorities straight! So please let’s just… let’s talk over this okay…?”

without a word you lifted a hand up wiping the tears from bakugos eyes before resting a hand on his cheek. “You’ll do better this time right…? It won’t just go back to how it was before…?”

you could see a spark in his eyes now that you finally answered. “I promise-! I— it won’t happen again just— please— don’t leave me…”

you let out a soft sigh. “I won’t leave you. And… I forgive you.” You heald onto his hands gently for just a moment before he pulled you in holding you close.

“i… don’t know how I ever took a man like you for granted.”

(end)

[writingquestionsanswered]

I'm planning on publishing my written fiction online in both Portuguese (my native language) and in English (the other language I speak which might help to share the story with more people), but something is worrying me.

I watched a movie where the a main character (a writer) had a book that wasn't popular and another character "translated" into her language (what she actually did was rewrite it as an erotic novel) and the book was super loved there (the readers didn't know the book was supposed to be different)

Sometimes I see artists who allow fans to share translations of their comics, but I'm concerned on what could happen if someone asked for permission to translate. Do you think it's worth the risk of someone making my story popular with something that goes against my values, like supporting disregard to a human right or making it erotic when it was supposed to be family-friendly?

Worried About Fan Translations

I want to be clear that this advice is specific to fiction published online versus e-books or print books, which are a different matter entirely. First and foremost, if you post a story online, give permission to a fan to translate it, and then they rewrite it into something else, that is plagiarism and a copyright violation, and you have every right to ask them to take it down. If they refuse to cooperate, you can threaten them with a lawsuit, even if you don't really have the means to follow through. That could be enough to get them to take it down. If not you can report them to the platform for stealing your work. You can also let your fans know that this person has stolen your work and to please block them or refuse to engage with them.

If you post a story online and are approached by a fan who asks to translate it into their native language, there are some things you can do to potentially protect yourself:

1 - Do not give them permission to post the translation on their own account. Thank them for their offer and let them know you're happy to let them translate the story, but they will need to e-mail it to you so you can have it vetted and post it on your own account with credit. Be clear that you do not give them permission to post a translation on their own account. That way, not only does it dissuade people who are only interested in plagiarism or benefiting off your hard work, it also means you keep full control of your story and its translations.

2 - Do your best to vet the translation. You can try to find a beta reader who is fluent in that language who can read it and make sure it's a good translation, though you'll likely have to pay them, which is worth it to make sure the translation is accurate. Or you could copy chunks of the story into Google Translate, which isn't a great translation service, but at least you'll see right away if the person has added erotica or written anything that's drastically different.

3 - Do your best to vet the translator. Another thing you can do is try to vet the translator. Ask them if they've ever translated a story before, and if so, ask them for examples. Look at their account and see if they have posted other translations or have posted links to translations. Investigate the authors of the stories they translated and see if there are any complaints. Read through the comments of the original story and the translation (you may again have to use Google Translate if it's a language you're not familiar with... not perfect, but just fine for this application...) are similar. If a lot of comments on the translation mention elements that aren't mentioned in the source story comments, that's a potential red flag.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[aannonn]

I FINALLY FINISHED ITT LETS GOOO

(to anyone who wanna read it on ao3 instead! ><)

not-actually-so-funfact; my computer started to burn in the middle of the translation :D (im brazilian so i write my fics in brazilian before translating them to english- xd)

anyways!! hope u enjoy the read just as much as I did while writing it! <3

- , "Ruined. All Ruined."

(updated/fixed) Tags ;

Rating : Teen and Up Audiences Warning : Graphic Depictions of Violence Tags#1 : rated t mainly because of the swears // violent thoughts // threats of violence // whump // self hatred // self depreciation // self esteem // self esteem issues // angst // angst and feels // heavy angst // hurt no comfort // emotional hurt // crying // selective mutism // talking in musical notes Tags#2 : hurt/comfort // comfort // emotional hurt/comfort // emotional // inner dialogue // minecraft mechanics // neurodivergent // {not exactly the focus but y'k- its there} // author is projecting

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Ruined.

All ruined.

   Green sat on his bed, the tie tied carefully around his neck crumpling from the tightness of his knees being hugged close to his chest. A crumpled tie was certainly not something he would take lightly, and he would quickly fix his posture so he could tidy it up and leave it the way it was before, perfect as it should be. But- honestly? Green felt no motivation to do so right now.

   He doesn't understand what he did wrong. Did he prepare too much? Did he create a lot of expectations? Did he let his anger and arrogance get the best of him again?

   Everything seemed perfect, everything was perfect, but then that silverfish suddenly emerged and, in the blink of an eye, everything around him seemed to be shattering; All the months of planning and preparation and so, so many songs he wrote and scratched because none of them felt perfect enough felt like they had been stepped on, crushed and thrown into lava, slowly burning right before his eyes.

   Is not fair. None of this was fair. He worked so hard to get to this moment, to improve his musical skills and impress an entire audience with his music, his passion. His friends, friendly acquaintances - everyone he knew was there - even Orange was there! They were all there for the concert, for the performance, for him.

   He felt like he was on cloud nine, happily boasting about the praise and applause floating around him like birthday confetti, roses being thrown at him as a sign of love and admiration - His friends and family were congratulating him and looking at him with so much admiration and love and affection for his amazing and so well-planned, so well-done, so perfect performance.

   He felt so adored, like the celebrities he saw on YouTube, being praised and complimented and talked about by many, many people, with so much admiration and adoration in their voices when talking about them. He felt so envied, as if several people adored him so much that they wanted to have his talents, they wanted to be him. He felt so loved, friends and family being so proud of him that he felt himself laughing happily, smiling so big that his cheeks hurt.

   ...Then a silverfish rised onto the stage, stepped on his noteblock, and the adoring, gazing eyes of the crowd - of his friends - were on the mob, and suddenly it seemed like it wasn't his concert anymore, but rather a random silverfish who just invaded the stage and stole his place, his audience, his moment.

   Green clenched his fists, bringing his knees even closer and crumpling his tie even more; Is not fair. None of this is fucking fair. He worked so hard for this, he worked so long for this, and now it's all ruined. Everything is ruined.

   The audience applauded and the show was a success, but the silverfish was the one in the spotlight; It was what was being boasted about, congratulated, adored, happily applauded for its' incredible performances.

   Meanwhile, Green was collapsing in pain in the middle of the stage and suffering from a horrible concussion.

   He felt humiliated, awfully humiliated. Shame, disappointment, and anger flooded his entire being, and the moment he woke up in his room, in his bed, with an ice pack on his head and a potions kit right on his desk, the only thing he did was have a staring contest with the ceiling with hazy eyes, his mind was a complete fog as he felt himself swinging his leg from side to side, jiggling it repeatedly distractedly.

   They cheered, the audience cheered, his friends cheered, but none of the cheers and joyful whistles were directed at him, as if the show had never even belonged to him in the first place.

   Green clenched his fists so tightly that he felt the faintest hint of blood coming from his palms, tears stinging his eyes distressingly, falling and spilling and wetting the mattress like rainfalls.

   Small bubbles appeared in his throat and made him let out soft sobs while small melodic notes came out of his mouth, making unbearably unpleasant and hostile noises, seeming as if a million instruments were being played at the same time, forming a loud and unpleasant noise for the ears. Fortunately the canorous notes that came out were small and therefore you wouldn't be able to hear them properly if you weren't close enough to his face.

   He felt so pathetic, so ridiculous. It wasn't even that bad; Everyone in the audience loved and genuinely enjoyed the show, his friends even formed a band and Orange finally played the electric guitar he had after years of not even touching it! So why was he so sad? Why did he feel like his entire world had just collapsed? Why did he feel so angry at the silverfish that only wanted to play with him?

   Because he was so selfish. So selfish and arrogant the little musician.

   He wanted to pull his head off, his stupid head with a stupid brain that only knew how to think about itself - He wanted to find that stupid silverfish and sink the tip of the diamond sword at its' stomach, jab it and stab it and all over again until all that was left of the mindless mob were little white clouds signaling its permanent death.

   He wanted to punch himself, spank himself - He wanted to be vengeful, he wanted to scream - He was so angry at himself, so angry at the silverfish, so angry at his brain, so angry at his feelings, so angry at his friends who didn't even try to help him get the silverfish off the stage and bring everyone's attention back to him, so angry at the world that was never merciful to him, hurting him again and again and again and again and again and again like a fucking punching bag.

   He wanted to isolate himself from everything and everyone to show the world how fucking angry and tired he is right now. He wanted his friends to invade his room to shower him with love and affection, hugs and apologies and promises that they would take better care of him, that they would never try to hurt him again, that they would never let the world hurt him again.

   He wants the world to burn, he wants the world to hold him like a baby.

   He's so selfish. Selfish and arrogant little adorable musician.

   His mind was a fog full of thoughts as his emotions took control, his body swayed slightly from side to side like a mantra, all of this making his brain unable to register the sound of footsteps approaching his position on the bed or even extra weight being added to the green mattress.

   Green jumped when he felt a hand holding his arm gently, rocking his body serenely and distracting his mind from thoughts for a few brief moments. He still didn't take his face off his knees, but he didn't take the hand off his arm either.

   Faint sobs and small musical notes echoed through the spacious house, the fog of dark thoughts in his mind gradually fading until all that was left were just faint sobs and dry tears gracing his face, a few tears still running down his chin towards the bed, small drops of water, some already old, wetting the mattress.

   He didn't register and didn't want to register how long it had been since he and the familiar but currently unknown stickfigure had been sitting on the bed. The stickfigure just rocked him calmly and slowly, distracting him from his thoughts that only got darker and darker, while also giving him time to calm down at his own pace, which Green deeply appreciates.

   Eventually, his breathing seemed to have finally eased and he opened his eyes, raising his head slowly and groggily, somewhat destabilized after the horrible mental breakdown he had just had.

   Yellow's composed and slightly worried face greeted him, the gentle movement of his head cooled off the nervous spasms he felt in his body after his brain had correctly registered the pathetic and disappointing scene he had just made, right in front of one of the last people he wanted for to see him in this state.

   Yellow remained quiet, his hand still on Green's arm as he continued to rock him gently, his movements filled with nothing but pure affection and concern for him. For Green.

   Green raised his head groggily, feeling light bubbles rising in his throat again and a new spiral of crying emerging before he pushed it back by force, several carefully chosen words in his head ready to start a conversation and break the suffocating silence, even though none of them had any actual desire to actually produce real sounds.

   He coughed, a hoarse, noisy wet cough, taking a deep breath - with some difficulty - before merely forcing a sound out of his throat, words in his mind all jumbled together - he just wanted to break the silence, a silence so quiet and still and suffocating.

   - W.. what." His voice was hoarse from crying and small musical notes were muddled with the words, making the words that came out of his mouth a confusing cacophony of sounds and verbs without a correct direction.

   Yellow patted his free hand on his knee nervously, whispering softly; - I just wanted to check up on you."

   Green no longer felt any motivation to actually form words and say them out loud, so he just shook his head sharply and pushed Yellow's hand away from his arm, a small musical note faintly leaving his mouth; a twisted, angry, broken sound.

   Go away.

   Yellow quickly understood the message the older one wanted to convey and tapped his hand on his knee nervously again, a slight, almost imperceptible movement of his shoulders lowering in defeat before he stood up and walked to the door, his steps light, but steady, echoing in the now empty space; where a single green stickfigure sat on his own bed of the same color, hugging and consoling himself from the world that only knew how to hurt. The only sounds that could be heard were his own whimpers and small melodic notes that the form curled up like a ball of the arrogant little musician emanated.

   It's so quiet. The world seemed so much lonelier and more dangerous when it was quiet.

   It's just him, and the world that hates him.

.

.

.

.

   At some point in his breakdown; round two(2), Green fell asleep; spilled tears still dripping onto the mattress while light, dry remnants clung to his cheeks. Honestly, Green isn't sure if he actually fell asleep, all he remembers is that his perception of his surroundings was momentarily desensitized and he found himself lying in his bed, a pair of hands on his shoulder shaking him with enthusiasm to side to side, presumably being the reason why his brain seemed to have regained awareness of his surroundings when he felt a sudden and unexpected physical contact stirring him impatiently.

   Red's excited and unbearably happy face was what greeted him this time, determination and enthusiasm adorning his movements as he continued to shake him the way he normally would when he had done something cool and desperately wanted to show to someone.

   Noticing the slight movement of Green's head moving towards him, Red let go of the shorter stick's right shoulder and jumped back, his arms bobbing up and down happily before grabbing Green's hands and pulling him in a way so that he was now sitting on the bed, relinquishing him and quickly rushing to the door, giving him one last look (still jumping up and down and waving his arms happily) before jumping out of the house, his steps happy and hurried resonating even outside the household.

   Green just stared at the door now open to him, not moving a single inch to follow Red to wherever the latter wanted to show him, an internal debate in his head with the decisions he could make.

   Getting out of bed, let alone walking to the door, seemed like a challenge. His body had little to no motivation to exercise and his head was still a fog that momentarily distracted him from his surroundings. He really didn't want to get up.

   But there would be no more silence if he did. The world would no longer seem so dangerous and immense for him if he went outside.

. . .

   Green sighed, staring at the floor for several long moments before merely forcing his body to stand, stumbling a bit in disorientation after sitting for so long, before practically dragging himself to the door, his slow, sloppy steps echoing through the silent residence.

   The entire time he walked towards the open door, Green stared at the ground, absentmindedly counting the pixel particles of the blocks he passed in his mind.

   He really had no desire to do anything... But the silence he was in was too suffocating and oppressive for him to bear.

   As he walked, Green quickly noticed that the light gradually dimmed with each new block, getting darker and darker until he couldn't even see the color of the staircase.

   Green took his eyes off the floor and raised his head, noticing how the computer's lighting seemed to have suddenly faded, enveloping both him and the programs and the PC's characteristic background in immense darkness - Much like when he himself removed the brightness of the computer to blast his latest music at that time.

   Green straightened up, feeling goosebumps all over his body as he took his cell phone out of his pocket and turned on the flashlight, quickly taking out his diamond sword from his inventory and holding it tightly, keeping his guard up for any possible mobs or whatever it was that could suddenly jump on him.

   He slowly descended the steps, his steps light and careful as he illuminated the darkness around him and kept his ears open for any sign of movement or noise.

   He wonders where his friends are...

   Suddenly, red and orange and yellow and green and blue lights illuminated the computer and momentarily blinded him, causing him to stagger back in fright and throw his sword and cell phone into the air before quickly grabbing the sword in alarm, pointing the sharp tip towards the light source as he vaguely registered the sound of his cell phone falling to the ground with the flashlight still on.

   A stage - his stage - his concert stage - greeted him back, colorful lights enthusiastically illuminating the center of the stage, where stood his dearest friends that he had known for as long as he could remember.

   Friends who also just watched as his concert was ruined by a fucking silverfish.

   Green shook his head sharply to dispel that thought, slowly lowering his sword as he quickly settled down, no longer feeling the impending danger scratching the back of his neck, though that also didn't mean his irritation had disappeared.

   He simply stared at the four(4) stickfigures on the stage, irritation was obvious in his movements as he gave them the silent treatment.

   Blue clasped his hands together nervously, Red dragged his feet on the floor without looking at him while Orange shifted uncomfortably; The only one who seemed more balanced and stressless of all was Yellow, although Green could detect a slight touch of nervousness in the movement of his shoulders.

   None of them said or made any movement as an indication that they were going to break the silence, Green just stared at them demanding an explanation while the others just moved and looked at each other nervously.

   Blue turned to Red, grabbing his shoulder before pushing him forward. Red stumbled before immediately shaking his head roughly and pushing Blue forward, to which Blue grabbing Orange's hand and pulling the shortest one in front of him, pushing him nervously to be in Green's gaze. Orange looked back and forth between Blue, Red and then Green, staring at the ground while rubbing his arms nervously, before finally taking a single step forward before Yellow suddenly stopped him by grabbing his shoulder and pointing at himself, to which the youngest nodded in thanks and quickly went to Red's side.

   Yellow took a deep breath, only taking three steps forward before finally breaking the silence, his voice a soft whisper with varying degrees of guilt and apologetic tone emanating from it.

   - We're sorry."

   Green bounced in surprise, confusion adorning his movements.

   At the sound of Yellow's voice, the other three(3) seemed to find courage and quickly echoed their own apologies with equal degrees of guilt and apologetic tones, a cacophony of voices over one another as they made several sudden and clumsy movements.

   - We had fun but you didn't have fun and that wasn't- It wasn't what- It was not cool. Nothing cool."

   - We're really, really sorry- The show was horrible- It was horrible to you- It was scary, wasn't it? It was terrifying... We laughed but- And- We didn't even think how hurt would you be..."

   - We didn't try to help you when you needed it most, and we completely understand if you- How angry you might- How angry you are and we won't force you to forgive us or anything-"

   Sincere. Genuine. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Don't forgive us. You don't need to forgive us. We are really sorry. We will take better care of you.

   Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry-

   - So we thought about- Ah. To repair. Give you the concert you truly deserve."

The firm tone emanating from Yellow's voice quickly interrupted the fog that was beginning to form in Green's head, turning his head towards him to realize that the taller one had raised his hand and stopped everyone from continuing with the cacophony of voices. Of I'm sorrys. Of apologies-

   Oh wait.

   Oh. Oh.

   The stage was for him?

   - I know nothing will fix the damage that silverfish caused- The damage we didn't even try to cease- But." Yellow paused, clasping his hands and fidgeting nervously in his seat before taking a deep breath and continuing; - That's- The concert really mattered to you, so. We wanted to- Give you a chance to- A second chance to. Show to the world-

   - The world being us."

   Yellow elbowed Red. - Your performance. And just your performance only. No silverfish to take your place."

   The stage was practically the same as the show, although it was significantly reduced to fit the computer and not cover the entire space to the point of being almost claustrophobic.

   The instruments from before - from the villagers who agreed to help him with the concert - were not there, just the blocks and noteblocks that had been used previously in the concert. On his concert.

   It was his show. It is his show.

   The stage is his. The performance is his. The audience is his.

   Green just stared at the stage, then at the instruments, then at his friends.

   Millions of emotions flowed like musical notes, the fog in his head forming like fluffy, adorable clouds, and suddenly he felt an immense urge to jump and bounce and play and scream and stim and-

   A single musical note, so small and confused and twisted and broken - yet joyful and hopeful and excited and free - floated from his mouth, the harp-like sound echoing so low that Green is sure none of them would have heard it if the room was not in a complete silent.

   For me?

   Yellow tilted his head gently, Blue touched his hands like he always does when he's excited, while Orange nodded and Red happily waved his arms up and down, encouragingly signaling the older one to come on stage.

   For you.

   Green timidly walked to the stage, Blue and Red quickly helped him by grabbing his hands and pulling him up, Orange walked towards him and gently pushed him to the center where the noteblocks were carefully placed in a way that formed a piano, patting his back in encouragement before going to join Red and Blue on the chairs in front of the stage, sitting right next to Red who was resting his parrots on his shoulders.

   Yellow had the staff in hand, placing his hands on his hips in a sign of lighthearted annoyance, confusing Green momentarily before realizing that the taller stick was looking at the crumpled tie with small traces of dried tears.

Oh.

   Green looked down at his shabby tie, dismay filling him at how careless he had been with his beautiful tie, before perking up when yellow hands suddenly grabbed his tie by the ends and stretched it, trying to straighten it back to the way it was before. Finishing, Yellow walked away and placed his hands on his hips as a sign of pride, while Green just stared at his tie, now even more messy and shabby than before.

   Such a mistake like that would freak him out, reprimand the causer and quickly fix the damage done.

   Now, somehow, he found no reason to care.

   It was perfect. It is perfect.

   Green took the staff extended to him with such delicacy and care, as if the staff would break with a single sloppy touch, holding it close to his chest like a plush.

   Yellow patted his head, touching his forehead to Green's in a tender and gentle manner, before retreating and getting off the stage, sitting right next to Blue and putting all his attention on Green, on the show. On Green. On the performance. On Green.

   All eyes and heads were on him, all attention was on him and him alone.

  Playing his slightly altered melody as he now played solo, he felt on cloud nine. Gloatingly boasting of the enthusiastic applause and whistles of his beloved audience, who adored every performance he performed no matter how imperfect they seemed to him. Of his friends, who would always be there welcoming him with open arms and would help him in any way they could. Of his family, who adore him and love him so, so much.

   It was perfect. It is perfect.

   He is adored. He is accepted. He is loved.

   He always was. And he always will be.

.

.

.

.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

[sweetestgirlintown111]

henry winter x reader

authors note: I decided to write for Henry Winter as way to get him out of my system, and this is the byproduct. While reading this please keep in mind that it's my first time publishing my work and that English isn't my first language that said of course, feedback is always appreciated so if you have any notes feel free to point them out in the notes or in my asks box. about the story, this won't be following the exact plot or timeline of the book, it's an academic rivals to lovers trope, I have 5 chapters written already and I think it safe to say that it is more of a slow burn, somethings id like to point out is that this fic handles the themes of Catholicism directly and child sexual abuse within it in an indirect manner so if you are uncomfortable with these topics I'd advise you to refrain from reading, of course, content warnings will be present to individual chapters including these topics, also there will be swearing, and I haven't yet decided if there will be smut in this piece, also in this fic I wont be using (Y/N) or any names for my character I also try to refrain from physical descriptions although female pronouns and anatomy are used. lastly, if you think this piece isn't for you please feel free to reach out and send prompts for one-shots or if you would like scenarios or ideas to include in this series, thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoy!

prologue |

Henry, stoic, cold, luring Henry. like a fire luring in moths, we were all ready to do as he pleased, convinced that in some way he always knew better. Maybe he did, maybe that's why all seven of us were so complaint, but me -I was so beyond them in that aspect I was fascinated with Henry Winter I would've gone happily to my demise if he ordered me to if it meant that he would be pleased with me.

I first saw Henry at Julian's office, before lessons had started I was there to ask for a schedule since I hadn't got one -the process of signing in to his class was very hard in itself but Julian was an old friend of my mom which was the main reason I got accepted- he was sitting on a couch listening to something Julian was saying that I unknowingly interrupted. he seemed huge at first glance tall with broad shoulders and hair so dark in contrast to the paleness of his skin and the shine of his blue eyes framed with a pair of old-fashioned round thick glasses, he was beautiful that much could be said. but he was also uninterested his glance almost dismissive that look he gave me the same look he’d give me plenty of times after that- a look that made me feel tiny which in comparison to him I was, and so naturally I made him the center of my life at the time. it wasn't so estranged of me to pick the one thing that I couldn't have easily and dig my claws into it, after all, I loved a challenge except this time I wouldn't be able to decide who won if either.

Ancient Greek, this dead language, so esoteric, so elite that naturally I gravitated towards it. at ten its hard to stand out -especially when going to an elite boarding school in the middle of Sweden, everyone's daddy was crazy rich, all the kids had ponies, and all the girls went to the best ballet academies thus nothing materialistic could make you special, so developing an obsessive interest in ancient and dead languages was not only sure to make you stand out but also get you the praise of your teachers, all the while being hard enough that any competition would give up on their own. so it became my niche, my specialty- and by the time I finished high school, it was an easy choice to go to Hampden, seeking an exclusive course of studies with a class of six other students.

although I always strove to stand out academically, I was never as bright socially, usually feeling more fitted with my translations, and maybe in my younger teens, it saddened me, to watch my classmates playing and having so much fun together, and not being able to join- not because they wouldn't let me but because I couldn't let myself. but that envy quickly faded, when plying around turned into partying, sex, heartbreak, and filthy drugs. not that I didn't indulge in substances from time to time, but it was never the cheap stuff and never on school grounds. and so that's how my teens came and were spent, books during school and books -with a little bit of drugs- during whatever break that would send me home.

Back to Hampden, our first class Julian gave us the time to get to know each other and get familiar with one another, going in i'd figured that Henry was the guy I had met earlier- and he had a friend that came with him, Edmund everyone called him Bunny, very chatty which was a striking difference to henry. Two other students were twins a boy, Charles, quite handsome, and the female version, Camilla, they were both boyish and had the same mannerisms they also both had slight southern accents. And then there was Francis, redheaded, tall scrawny, and very stylish indeed and seemed very friendly and inviting and lastly, there was Richard a Californian, quiet and shy. meeting with them was easy enough that it didn't feel dreadful and I quite enjoyed their company, being a bunch of weirdos I felt welcomed in a way, the time was spent discussing literature, ancient scriptures, and civilizations. they all seemed to know enough about the Greeks, Henry, in particular, made it clear that he was above them all when it came to knowing the ancient culture, for the first time in my life I felt like I was on par with someone in knowledge and for the first time as well I didn't feel threatened.

classes with Julian were what any seasoned student would want, he was challenging and inspiring, but having Henry as a competitor wasn't easy, while I was excited about the competition he never held back and it felt like it wasn't just academics we were fighting over but rather something else, the praise of Julian mainly, and I wasn't going to hold back either. I couldn't, even if I wanted to, my whole life the only thing that inspired me to work harder and be smarter was the validation of my teachers, being that I went to boarding school and didn't have the strongest relationship with either of my parents, id turn to whichever adult that would spare me the attention and more often than not they were my teachers, so no I wasn't going to let him have the praise of Julian our only instructor, I wasn't going to make it easy for him.

at first, it started as banter in the middle of class -correcting each other's quotes, racing to answer Julian's questions faster- but later on in the semester as it was clear that we were academically equal, it would turn into pure unfiltered hate. And Henry Winter would make sure that I never forget any of my flaws, ever.

[letomills]

The "requests are paused until I'm done with the current ones" thing was wishful thinking (a bit like the closing statements in my last yt video 🤓) and I am once again thoroughly overwhelmed with everything.

Requests are firmly closed until further notice. I said yes to the FtM hairs for anon and the Tiggerypum tunics & iamliz13 alpha dresses for children & toddlers for the other anon (I did get the links you sent to the meshes), so I still intend to complete both.

A novel's worth of life updates under the cut (content warning for struggle with bipolar type 2, including questionable choices which should not be taken as advice).

Well over a year ago I shared that my mother was going through a really bad bipolar type 2 depression episode (looking back, mention of it in that post was very euphemistic, I must have been hopeful). The reason why I didn't give any updates after a while is that there is no satisfactory narrative that I could easily spin into words. She's not all better, she hasn't died or lost her mind for good, things have just been evolving at a snail's pace through a whole spectrum of very bleak colors. She's not fully hospitalized anymore, she lives at home with my brother and me, with day hospitalisation activities several times a week. The myriad psychiatrists that she's seen have not been able to find the "right" treatment for her, but hey, after lithium sent her into such a state of confusion that we thought she might stay mentally disabled for the rest of her life, at least now we know that's not an option. A couple days ago her psychiatrist prescribed a new antipsychotic to replace the one she'd been taking. She started the transition, and today confusion started showing its terrifying face again so she's not taking that pill tonight, or to be honest ever again unless her psychiatrist somehow manages to convince us otherwise (she'll report her symptoms and get counsel at the hospital tomorrow). Her cognition is already impaired, her short-term memory and ability to focus especially. She can't live alone, I keep and manage her pillboxes, make sure she's eating right and the stove is off, that sort of stuff. But at least, until the introduction of this new drug, she'd made considerable gains compared to when she was at her worst last winter. No way we're going back to that again.

On a more positive note, about a month and a half ago I started work at a grocery delivery place just up the street (yes that's what I'm doing with my degree in Mandarin and my master's in English-French translation studies). It's intense physically, kinda stressful, and not very well paid, but I think I like it and the people are very nice. What scares me is that my trial period ends in about 2 weeks and I'm not entirely sure that they'll want to keep me, considering I've made several mistakes and they don't seem to think that I work quite fast enough (I know I said the people were very nice, they are, that's just the job). They keep saying the work load is gonna get crazier starting in September. The way they're saying it may suggest that they do envision me as still working there in September, but maybe they're trying to push me to work faster now and if I can't prove that I'm able to they won't keep me? Well I'm already doing my best, even if sometimes I end up finding myself crying over clients' items because my brain isn't able to focus anymore and I'm messing up and wasting time.

Emotional control has been harder because I unilaterally made the decision to taper off my antidepressant. Now before you facepalm, let me flood you with all of my best questionable arguments: • I do have an appointment with my psychiatrist, the earliest date I could get was October 1st (and I may have to postpone, depending on my work hours that day which I don't know yet). • I was already on the lowest dose that you can be on. • I tapered off very slowly. • I recently talked about it with the nurse that I saw for the mandatory medical visit I had to go to because I got the new job (idk if you have that outside of France). Naturally she was alarmed that I'd been weaning myself off on my own and she convinced me to see my GP asap and not change my medication without at least his input (which yes, I know). • the reasons I did it despite knowing that it's inadvisable are: 1) obviously I haven't been feeling depressed for a while or I wouldn't have done it, 2) the amount of endorphin-producing physical exercise I get from the new job felt like it could maybe do the trick so it was worth a try, 3) seeing how much my mom's medication has messed up her cognition over the years is scary. She's been taking way higher doses of antidepressants than me, along with other stuff, over a way longer period of time, but still. I don't want to be on it if it's not strictly necessary, so I wanted to try off. • I'm still taking my antipsychotic religiously and have no intention to stop that (I can't anyway or I won't be able to sleep and I'll definitely lose the job).

My plan with the antidepressant was to space out the doses and eventually get off it entirely for several weeks before reassessing, but after seeing that nurse, I started upping again to one dose every other day. I will admit, I was having suicidal thoughts after several days off, and now it's gone. Maybe I should find having suicidal thoughts more alarming than I do, the nurse's phrasing when she asked if I did - something that could translate to "no suicidals thoughts, riiight?" - was a good reminder that suicidal thoughts are really bad to have oh no. Of course I said no, why would I want her to interfere (leave me to make decisions for my own self thank you). Anyway, the appointment with my GP is in two days. He's gonna be useless on psych stuff but I guess getting his unqualified, predictable input is the responsible thing to do in polite society. More relevantly, the nurse also told me to go see him because my blood pressure is a bit low, or at least it was at 9/6 when she saw me, so I need to have it retaken and see what's up with that if anything.

And so yes, I have a ton of CC plans as always, I am positively drowning. Beside the two requests I mentioned above the cut, one of which I need to do a lot of learning for, I picked up work on Celestialspritz's beta Vincent skins and started converting afbodykimono for the usual roaster of breasted body shapes, like I did with afbodyqipao here and would like to do with more Happy Holiday Stuff outfits in the future. Although I told myself that I would stick to the body shapes that I've already done stuff for, I now also want to make a set of clothes for Lady Apple. I also have an idea about a set of scrawny body shapes for TU-EU inspired by Mrs Crumplebottom's body shape. I know Melodie9's slim family exists but to be honest those shapes creep me out and I want to see if I can do something less uncanny (it may end up looking too similar to the Androgyny body shapes, or to Faerie Gal, or it may not pan out at all, so don't hold your breath). I also want to do a ton of hairs in FakeBlood's palette + Naberius (tbh I'm still not 100% sure if I like Timebomb or Naberius more for my aliens, I need to figure that out once and for all). And of course I want to do more FtM & MtF hair conversions once I know how to do it well enough. There's a billion smaller projects I'd like to insert in between those, outfit conversions for one or a couple body shapes, repurposing of older meshes, a set of nude "outfits" for all the body shapes I do, etc.

[perfectprofessorloverapricot]

Finding purpose | Male OC (or male reader) Chap 4

Summary: In a world that is dying and there is no way of saving it, the humanity takes mater into their own hands. They flee from their home planet with hope of conquering another in order to survive. Among them, a couple of brothers with no idea what they're doing.

Pairings: Jake sully × Oc (friendship), Tsu'tey × Oc (friendship), Neytiri × Oc (friendship). [No current love interest]

Warnings: Mention of violence, mention of death, manipulative behavior, use of drugs, bad ways of coping mechanisms and obscene language.

Note: - This is not a request and it's the translation of the original story in wattpad. - My native language it's not English - The Oc's name is Eli Thompson. - Edited

Prev part - Masterlist - Next part

With the second day at Pandora over, the soldiers documented their experiences of what they saw and felt while driving an avatar for the first time. It wasn't anything as detailed as a scientist would describe with the technical names of the neural connection between bodies or something. It was simple. They described it as an experience that couldn't be expressed with enough words or an experience that would blow anyone's mind. They called it a day and proceeded to fall into the arms of Morpheus.

The next day, the routine began like the previous one, they got up, took a bath and went to the cafeteria to eat.

But they never expected that after eating they would be directly called by a pilot to follow them to an area that they are already more familiar with from their years in the army, proclaiming that the colonel wanted to see them.

The woman introduced herself to them as Trudy, detailing that by orders of who they were going to see, she would be the designated pilot for the expeditions that involved them.

"You guys are packing some heavy gear." Jake commented as he saw the ammunition that was being loaded into the Samsun that she indicated as hers.

On the other hand, Eli was looking around, almost feeling nostalgic. Comfortable in his environment, but that did not bring him the best feelings. The last time he was in a place like this was when he presented his resignation letter caused by the disaster on his last mission. The same mission that almost took his life.

He felt a shiver run down his spine as he remembered it.

"Yeah. That's 'cause we're not the only thing around out there. Or the biggest." Trudy replied, with a small tone of amusement at the end. "I need you as gunners. Protocol generally asks me to take 2 soldiers for 1 scientist, but we are short staffed. You would be a lot of help tomorrow."

Eli turned to look at the woman with surprise, but a hint of relief. He wasn't cut out for science and he had to confess that he missed the adrenaline. So much time without being a Marine is already starting to take its toll on him. "Do they really have weapons but enough for avatars?" Eli asked.

Trudy gave him a toothy smile. She almost felt like she was seeing a child after being told that there are going to be gifts for Christmas. "You'd be surprised what toys the RDA can make. Fill out an application saying it's to improve mission performance and they'll give you whatever you want."

Jake nodded in satisfaction. Even if his avatar body was not his own, the idea of entering a hostile forest unarmed only to experience his death firsthand was not the best of ideas. "Well then, you can count on us." Jake said, responding to the request made a few seconds ago. Eli nodded.

"Perfect. I'll see you tomorrow then." She ended the conversation by stopping in front of a slightly more private section among all the mess caused by the army. She pointed to a man exercising in the corner. "There's your man. See you on the flight line." As a last act, she bumped fists with them to say goodbye.

Both soldiers approached the boss, stopping at the metal frame of the security-like cage created for those who wish to exercise and remain out of danger from the rest of the machinery in the place. "You wanted to see us, Colonel?"

"This low gravity'll make you soft…" the colonel began to speak while still doing the bench presses. His voice came out slightly with difficulty due to the effort of speaking and lifting weight. "You get soften…" to give more drama to the moment, Quaritch roughly put the weights in its place, sat up and looked them in the eyes very seriously. "Pandora will shit you out dead with zero warning."

Eli mentally snorted. He had already heard a lot about how dangerous the planet is, but no one had told him how good it could be and he is beginning to believe that someone ordered them to specifically tell them that just to scare them. To mess with the rookies or something like that.

The Colonel stood up and walked until he was in front of them. "You have a lot of courage showing up in this neighborhood." Both soldiers remained silent. The man's tone showed that he was not finished. "You are the best proof that a soldier cannot be defeated… Both wounded in combat and look where you are." Quaritch walked past them and held out his hands for emphasis to show where they were. On the most hostile planet known to man.

"It's just another hell, sir." Jake answered as he turned the chair around.

Quaritch smiled at the attitude. That fearless look is just what he needed to see to continue with his plan. With a nod he indicated for them to follow him. "I was first recom myself. A few years ahead of you. Well, maybe more than a few. Three tours Nigeria, not a scratch. I come out here?…" he turned around walking backwards to point at his scar on the side of his head. "Day one. Think i felt like a shavetail louie? Yeah."

Eli nodded his head, turning to see some soldiers pulling a weapon big enough for the robot suits like the one they were walking to at that moment. A weapon the same size as his body and he bets 3 times heavier.

"Oh, the could fix me up, if I rotated back. And make me pretty again." He paused to climb onto one of the robot's legs and gave it a few strong tugs to test its resistance. Satisfied with the result, he turned back to the couple of friends. "But you know what? I kind of like it. Reminds me every day what's waiting out there."

Before he began climbing the robotic suit, he signaled for the soldiers to ride the elevator next to the suit and stay out of the way.

"The avatar program is a bad joke. Bunch of limp-dick science majors. However..." his voice came out with difficulty as he climbed up the suit until finally falling inside. "It does present an opportunity both timely and unique."

Eli crossed his arms and leaned on one leg to pay attention. The platform he had stood on with Jake finally stopped at the Colonel's level.

"CLEAR." The man shouted as he grabbed the controls of the machine. Someone behind the ex-Marines yelled for them to clear the area. The Colonel pressed the buttons on the panel, satisfied when the engine came to life. "Recon gyrenes in avatar bodies. That's a potent mix. Give me the goose bumps." He said with the slightest laugh in his words. He seemed to find the situation amusing. "Men like that would give me the intel I need, right on the ground. Right on the hostiles' camp" After calibrating the controls to his liking, he turned to the soldiers in a slightly more serious tone. "Listen. I want you to learn these savages from the inside. I want you to gain their trust. I need to know how to force their cooperation or hammer them hard if they won't."

The Colonel's tone did not give room to refute anything, it was directly an order without mentioning that it is an order. Something that neither of them liked. But they are soldiers, they are used to it.

Jake followed up with an important question. "Are we still with Augustin?"

"On paper. Yeah, you walk like one of her science pukes, you quack like one, but you report to me. Can you do that for me lads?"

The newcomers turned to look at each other. One look was enough to know that they both agreed.

"Yes, sir," they both answered instinctively. This loyalty brought a satisfied smile to the superior's face.

"Well, all right, then." With a wave of his glove, the Colonel turned on the robot. He brought his hands to his chest and threw some well-calculated punches, making the suit perfectly imitate his movements.

Jake and Eli backed up a little in the elevator to avoid being hit by accident.

Pleased with the adjustments to his suit, he turned it around to face the former Marines, placing his hands on his waist. Not even his suit seemed to prevent the Colonel from moving with confidence.

"I take care of my own. You get me what I need and you will get what your nation denied you."

The words the Colonel had used had been intentional. He read both of their files in order to not only understand who they are, but to understand how they think. He wants them to know that they are no longer on earth and that under his control he promised to give them more importance.

And they both completely believed it.

"To you Jake." The Colonel began. "I can give you your legs. Your real legs." Mentioning the limbs, the man aimed at Jake's human legs, using the robot. He then turned to Eli. "And to you, corporal. I will make sure that your nation gives you the recognition and apology you deserve. What do you think?"

Both soldiers nodded at the same time and responded. "Yes sir."

"Good." Ending the conversation, he closed the lid of the cabin with his metallic hand, turned around and turned to continue on his way, leaving the two with a lot to think about but only one conclusion.

They have a new mission.

[i4gonzalez]

Can u do a pedri angst where him and reader finally make it official after months of him chasing after her but the next day the paparazzi find him getting cozy with a girl qnd its all over the media and she feels embarrassed but he doesnt think its a big deal so they get into a fight but make up in the end

RUMORS: pedri gonzalez x fem!reader.

summary: after making his relationship with pedri public, several rumors about him and another girl begin to emerge.

notes: is a difficult plot, but I did my best to develop it well. I SWEAR THIS WILL HAVE A HAPPY ENDING.

english isn’t my native language, so i used translator for it.

pedri had been chasing you for months, hoping to win your heart. he made every effort, from small gestures to great demonstrations of affection, to show you how much he cared. you were delighted with your persistence, and you got closer with each passing day.

finally, pedri had the courage to ask you to make your relationship official and you accepted the request. so, you kissed and promised that nothing would ruin your relationship.

[★]

the next day, while you were enjoying lunch at your favorite restaurant, a notification arrives on your phone.

the notification in question was from her best friend, who shared a photo taken by a paparazzi of pedri laughing with another girl.

the image spread like a fire on social networks and the media. you sank into embarrassment. you felt betrayed and humiliated, wondering if the months that pedri spent trying to conquer you had no meaning at all.

furious, you called pedri ready to confront him. and when he finally got home, you couldn’t hold back some tears.

— what was that?! how could you do this to me? with us?! — more tears flowed and his voice suddenly starts to shaky.

— why are you so nervous? — he says, a little indifferent — she’s just a childhood friend who returned to spain!

— you could have warned me! and you two seemed very close to each other! you’re a liar, pedri!

— y/n, i swear it was no big deal! — now, pedri didn’t seem indifferent, he seemed nervous — it was an innocent conversation!

the discussion increased, with you unable to get rid of your feelings of embarrassment and pedri struggling to understand why she was so upset. the air was filled with tension as they exchanged heated words, each feeling misunderstood and hurt.

eventually, after a long time arguing, you found yourself sitting on a park bench that was in front of your house. both quiet trying to ignore each other’s presence and focused on their own feelings.

pedri was the first to realize how upset you were and how your actions accidentally hurt you.

— i’m sorry, y/n. i didn’t realize how much it upset you. i’m so sorry about that now! i swear nothing much happened.

you, in turn, recognized that you had underestimated the bond that the two of you had built and how much pedri cared.

so, with watery eyes, you hugged each other, without saying anything until you became calmer.

— te quiero más que a nada, cariño - pedri says, breaking the silence. (i love you more than anything, honey).

— yo también te quiero más que a nada, mi amor - you answer, kissing your boyfriend. (i also love you more than anything, love).

in the end, you and pedri were sure that your love was stronger than any rumor or fight. you loved each other and that was enough to put up with all this.

━━━ ━━━ ━━━ ━━━ ━━━ ━━━ ━━━

★ the requests are open! you can also send requests to social media fics.

[rainyraisin]

Ranking and reviewing the musicals I saw in 2024!

Starting this in April so I don't have the freshest memory for the first two but the rest will all be done as soon as possible after I see them!

Six - Already seen this show twice but its still such a cool experience! Last time I went to see it was pretty close together so it was the same cast for both but this time it was obviously a different one gchkfkjgv- I think I preferred the cast I saw before though, this one wasn't bad at all they just had better chemistry. Also this time I genuinely didn't care for Heart Of Stone. I hate it on the soundtrack so I was expecting to hate it on stage but when I went to see it the first two times I ADORED it. I thought it just couldn't be done justice by the soundtrack but now I think its just one that is either incredible or boring, no in-between. Her little speech before the song almost made me cry though so it's not that she was a bad actor, I just think she's better at acting than acting through song. ANYWAY ENOUGH ABOUT HEART OF STONE a really interesting thing about going to see a show again a few years later is that you see what lines they've changed and added (and also what lines were complete lies like no I don't remember you from my GCSEs yall have not been mentioned once fthdrhutfxhtc/silly). Idk its just cool to me seeing how shows change over time. Also the actors weren't all negative compared to the ones I've seen before! This Katherine Howard was INCREDIBLE. I fucking ADORED All You Wanna Do, it's not my favourite song but it's DEFINETLY my favourite one on stage GOSH she smashed it out of the park. Absolutely loved every second.

Rating 7/10, would be higher but seeing a better version of this show put this version down for me. Still really fun though!!!!

Your Lie In April - I've spoken about this one before so I'll keep it brief, really good show, was very cool to see the first English performance of it and I geeked out hardddd during it. Was incredibly funny which was surprising given how sad of a manga YLIA is but it was very pleasant still. Watari was the best character they gave him all the best jokes and you could just tell his actor was having an absolute blast playing him he was LOVING it. But on the negative side, there was a lot of pacing issues in the second act and some lines were really awkward to the point people were laughing at lines that were meant to be sad. I don't think it's the actors fault, I think the book just could've had more work done on it, it mightve been TOO directly translated. Also the pacing issues could've been at least a little helped by getting rid of the 8 minute scene were Kousei practices playing his song like it was cool but did we really need that when you CUT THE FINAL DUET??? LIKE YOU COULDVE KEPT THAT AND JUST INCLUDED KAORI I COULDVE FORGIVEN THE PACING ISSUES IF YOU DIDNT CUT ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT SCENES IN THE STORY- oh and there were a few too many songs like I love myself shows with 50 songs on the soundtrack (Hamilton and Next To Normal my beloveds) but the pacing issues could've been really helped by cutting one or two of them, as good as they were. The show could've really been helped by being just a little bit longer.

Rating 7.5/10 Still really enjoyable show and I really hope to see it again because I'm sure the quality will improve!! But as it is its not the greatest it can be even though the potential is there. The only reasons it's higher than six is because Watari was fucking hilarious, the scene where Emi and Takashi show up on bikes for NO fucking reason, the songs being bangers that I really want to listen to again cast recording when, and Young Kousei started break-dancing during the bows it was incredible.

Waitress - I wasn't going to include this one since it's not a physical performance but like. I'm gonna do it anyway bc there was only one showing of it at the cinema so like its basically just as cool right?/silly And anyway proshots are the only way I can see Broadway shows so this was only my second exposure to one and DAMN AM I JEALOUS OF U AMERICANS (my first was Hamilton's proshot btw which doesn't really show the full extent of Broadway since its one set throughout the whole show but that one is still amazing ofc)

The set design? Fucking IMMACULATE it was incredible GOD. Literally some of the coolest sets I've ever seen in my entire life (ngl probably THE coolest) and the fucking PIE FRIDGES ON EITHER SIDE OF THE STAGE??? LIKE????? HELLO????????? Making that many props must've taken forever what the fuck. Just the props and sets in general astounded me. I've done shows with props and sets before and I've seen them with props and sets before but never have I seen so many, not to mention how gorgeous they all looked. Genuinely wondering if some of the pies were real or if they were all props bc they were legit eating them like god those must be a pain to make for 8 shows a week-

I adore the characters and plot. I'd already seen the movie (which isn't a musical, was very disappointed when i discovered that lmao) so I had a vague knowledge of what I was going into but it still blew me away. I was genuinely sobbing throughout the entire show I'm not even joking 😭 I'd only heard a few of the songs since I had to sing them for my Musical Theatre grades but hearing them sung on stage gave me fucking goosebumps still, ESPECIALLY Sara Bareilles' songs. She's always been my favourite Jenna so it was amazing seeing her perform it. There's just something about seeing someone perform songs they wrote that destroys you so much more. However, some of the songs I wasn't really as invested in, the lyrics weren't sung very clearly and it made it difficult to follow along. I'm going to listen to them on the soundtrack at some point but I decided not to do so until I wrote this review as it's for this specific production and not the musical as a whole.

Without spoiling it, a part of the ending was the only thing I personally had an issue with, outside of the song issues I mentioned. I understand why it had to happen for the story and characters and I think it's cute but PLEASE. I WAS SO INVESTED IN THAT PART OF THE PLOT PLEASEEEEEE. It partially makes me question why that part of the plot really happened??? I don't know I guess it could just be me not being knowledgeable on that sort of thing and I can think of a few reasons why they went that route but its still weird to me, especially after this one scene that made me so certain it was going to go in this one direction.

9/10, incredible musical, definitely in my top 5 (for now), but some story and song issues made me push it down a bit.

Hamilton - ALEXANDER HAMILTON!!! I've been waiting to see this show for so long yall don't even KNOW. I've obviously seen the proshot like a shit ton but as yall know that isn't comparable to seeing it on stage. Ofc having already seen it so many times, the impact was lessened but I'm not gonna hold it against this show. When it came to Six the versions I'd seen were on very even playing fields but you can't compare a Broadway pro-shot with the original cast and the writer of the show himself to a UK tour that has only just switched to a new theatre (not that the UK tour was bad in any way shape or form, it was just obviously smaller scale which is completely fair).

First off, let me say, Peggy/Maria was INCREDIBLE. God her voice was fucking gorgeous, the fact that she's only in about 3 songs is criminal and her acting was so amazing. I would love to see her in a show again because I need to see more of her. Layfette/Jefferson was another highlight, god I adored him, he was incredible as Layfette but he turned it up to ELEVEN as Jefferson and I was immediatly hooked whenever he came back on stage, his movements and his acting and vocals were all so animated and it was so goddamn cool to see. The way he says "I tried :(" in *last song* will be stuck in my brain foreverrr.

I actually got a picture of the set before the show and just LOOK at how gorgeous this is

Like HELLO??? U cannot look at that set and tell me it isn't the coolest shit you've seen in your entire life. This is a good time to mention that I had STALL TICKETS TO THIS. I didn't know until we sat down bc going to this was my 16th birthday present from my Grandma (I love her so so much) and all she told me was that we were going to Hamilton nothing else WACHJXFHG- so yeah that was absolutely insane. I got a great view as well so YIPPEE!!! Definetly elevated my experience as I was far enough from the stage where I could see at least a good deal of it and close enough where I could see the expressions and it was SO COOL.

Also before I get onto problems I have to say that this show had possibly the FUNNIEST 9 year old Phillip performance I've seen it was fucking incredible, he like jumped up and WRAPPED HIS ENTIRE BODY AROUND HAMILTON AND I WAS JUST DYING WAVVGHJFGH- I thought the thing of a grown ass man playing a 9 year old was funny before but this production took it to a whole other level literally had my head in my hands laughing so goddamn hard it was amazing.

I think my biggest problem with the show was honestly Burr. Like I wasn't the biggest fan of Hamilton himself but he absolutely had his moments, especially when he was singing (and in Farmer's Refute he was so fucking funny in that song). And The World Was Wide Enough was incredible, honestly I think he really shined in Act 2, he was amazing in that, Act 1 was more of the issue. But Burr I didn't really like for most of the show. Not as a character because Burr is absolutely one of my favourites, most of my top 5 songs from this show either feature him or are only him (the only outlier being Say No To This) so it was relatively disappointing that his performance didn't click with me, especially since Burr is such an important character. I will say that The Room Where It Happened was SPECTACULAR but otherwise yeah I wasn't a fan. My favourite song in the show is Dear Theodosia and the fact that that was probably one of my least favourite moments in this specific production says a lot. He did have his moments like Hamilton's Act 1 performance did, but otherwise I was not a fan. Also I saw more of Burr in Laurens' actor than I did Burr's so like. Yeah. He's not a bad actor or singer I just don't think he's that great of a Burr.

Eliza is kind of a middle ground for me, because she had moments where she was absolutely incredible and then moments where I was just like hhhhhhh. Her actress had a gorgeous voice and it was very distinct, like whenever the ensemble sang you could pick her out easily, I love her voice so much. But early on in songs like Helpless her voice had a tendency to sound very nasally and pick me-ish (idk how else to describe it), especially on the "I Do's", like Helpless had me WORRIED. But she really does improve as the show goes on and she grew on me a ton. It's just early on where I wasn't that keen on her. Songs like Burn and *last song* are where her voice really shined, god those were absolutely incredible. Also I will say, she is a *very* new Eliza, the old Eliza's run ended just before I saw it (which I was pretty sad about ngl because I was so looking forward to seeing her) so I will give her the benefit of the doubt because for one of her first shows as Eliza she did a fucking amazing job despite certain bits at the start being not the best.

To end on a more positive note, I'm not much of a dancer (leg problems ayyyyyy) so I can't speak too much on the choreography but it was absolutely breath-taking, anyone who's seen Hamilton knows how incredible the choreography is no matter who's directed it but god I adored it. The movement really does make this show I swear. I wish I could've watched all of the ensemble do their thing the whole way through because the Hamilton ensemble is always an absolute highlight of the show and they all did an incredible job god I wish I could watch just that choreography again I'm in LOVE with it all.

Another 9/10, Burr's performance would've tanked it a bit more but everything else was so incredible that I really can't score it too low, if it weren't for Burr I probably would've liked it more than the proshot and for people who've seen the proshot you know that's a LOT to say. Brilliant show, would love to see it again. If the Burr changes I will be FIGHTING for a ticket because that's bound to be a life changing experience.

Bonnie And Clyde - Is a show I was going to see but the UK tour got cancelled due to poor ticket sales :( I'm really bummed about it bc I legit had front row seats to it. But we used the refund to get tickets to Chicago next April so yippee!!! Sad I can't yap about seeing it in person but I hope to watch the proshot at some point!!! I sadly haven't gotten around to it at the time of finishing this post but Jeremy Jordan is in it so I'll get around to it eventually.

Dear Evan Hansen - Okay writing this over a month late bc I wrote the Hamilton one in fucking June and I went to go see this in October so I straight up forgot I was doing this 😭😭 but yeah it's November now. The day of me seeing Book Of Mormon is closer than the day I went to go see DEH. Wild. So yeah bc of this, this section may not be as in depth as the rest due to it having been so long BUT!!! I will try my best!!!

First things first, I was SCARED for this show. Hamilton showed me what having an actor who didn't work for the role in one of the most important roles of the show could do, and given Evan is around ALL the time I was begging he would be good. And guess what? He was... AMAZING‼️‼️ Absolutely loved him, genuinely I would kill to see him in more performances because he was incredible. I doubt that would happen bc he's from a different part of the country from me but honestly he deserves to go on as many tours as he damn pleases. Honestly the entire cast was solid, there wasn't a single actor I didn't think fit their character, they were all really well cast. Zoe had a few weird moments here and there but it was literally opening night in a completely different venue, I cannot give two shits, go girl go u slayed.

Connor was definetly my favorite character, I was most excited about this because of him as the soundtrack doesn't really give you much Connor Content™️. As someone who's read the book though I genuinely wish there was more of him (I know the book is based off the musical but it's way better fight me). Connor is just as much of the main character as Evan is, and whilst I know that trying to squeeze in more character stuff with him would've been generally very difficult I kinda just wish he was lurking on stage at times, would've been a good metaphor for Connor's looming prescence over Evan that he self-imposed and now he's having to deal with the constant consequences of. We do get a few moments of Evan's version of Connor talking to him (or singing with him in the case of Sincerely Me, my second favorite song here as Connor's actor was brilliant, it was staged amazingly, and ofc its the only comedic song in the show so you're bound to get a lot of enjoyment out of it), but I wish his presence were more frequent, its a musical man get creative!!!!

The set was incredible, genuinely they knocked it out of the park, especially given it was a relatively small venue, at least compared to some of the ones I know it was performed at previously. They had moving kitchens and different bedroom sets and it was sickkkk!!!!!! Straight up loved the set design. And the songs were gorgeous, everyone had a beautiful voice which honestly should be expected given it was a tour but I already told yall about Hamilton, and tbf I have seen a few shows where the actors take an entire act to start sounding good 😭😭 (Veronica in the performance of Heathers I saw at this same theatre I am talking to you I hated her in the first act and then suddenly in act 2 she blew me away like GIRL WHERE WERE U HIDING THAT VOICE HUH????) So this was just genuinely a really cool thing to me, idk how they can sing so incredibly for 2 hours straight its mesmerising.

The best part about this show was being able to see my favourite song performed though because it was CUT OUT OF THE MOVIE. THE MOST IMPORTANT SONG IN THE SHOW (IN MY OPINION) WAS CUT FROM THE MOVIE. Good For You fucking SLAPS and I was estatic to be able to see it in its full context and glory. Evan is a sympathetic character but he's also a character that NEEDS to be held accountable for his horrible actions and the fact that the movie barely did that has always pissed me off so thank you performance of DEH in its best form you have avenged me.

8/10, I generally still had some issues with it, I dont think this show is the best it can be (I still kind of hate the ending) and I probably would've had more negative things to talk about if I wrote this review earlier, but still a great show! Evan's actor should be given as much work as humanly possible I will FIGHT FOR HIM.

Book Of Mormon- OKAY SO UM. ITS BEEN A MONTH AGAIN. ITS LITERALLY 2025 NOW. I was finally gonna write this review after my birthday bc I was hella busy before and then I got really sick. Oops! BUT!!! I CAN YAP NOW!!!

This is one of my favorite musicals, straight up no lie. I was listening to the HELL outta it after I went to go see it, I listened to Spooky Mormon Hell Dream like 67 times one day 😭 the soundtrack is just. Incredible. SMHD is definetly my favourite song, it's so cool on stage and literally everything about it makes me go crazy but some other highlights were Hello!, Turn It Off, and I Believe. I've had them all stuck in my head since I saw it.

I didn't have a single issue with any of the actors or honestly just anything about this show, which is shocking because I thought like there has to be at least one person who I won't be fond of because that's been the case all year, but genuinely they all did an absolutely amazing job and I adored every actor, I couldn't get enough. Obviously this show is a bit crude and there were moments when I was like oh. Oh no. But I can't blame that on the show, its by the South Park creators what can you expect? I still loved those parts, the best thing about going mostly solo (my mom decided she wanted to go last second but obviously couldn't sit with me) was that I didn't have to worry about how the people with me would react to it, I just got to have fun!

The sets were absolutely gorgeous in this show, I obviously couldn't get a pic of any of them because unlike Hamilton it's not just one but here's the boarder around the stage! It was so pretty!

Also yes I had an insanely good seat, row B baby! I have never been this close to the stage ever and i was so giddy. It's genuinely so cool being able to see all the little details on the props up close!

The costume design was also incredible, I've found out it's standardised across all the performances so it's not exactly a perk of this specific performance but I still want to yap about it! The demon costume for the General was so freaking awesome, honestly all the costumes for SMHD were cool as hell. Genuinely I encourage you to look up a video of this song being performed because whilst it won't be as cool as seeing it live (and from what I've seen the sets aren't as cool as the one I saw), the costumes are awesome and the song is just genuinely fun to see performed!

The two main characters were obviously the highlight of the show, their chemistry was crazy and every single moment they had together just had me smiling so wide, they're absolutely perfect. Kevin my beloved I could never hate him 🙏🙏🙏‼️‼️ Even if the rest of the show wasn't as good as it is, I'd still love it purely because of these two. They're so silly 😭😭💖💖🌸🌸🌸

Also I just want to mention that during Turn It Off, Kevin has a vest like all the rest of the elders and he looks so fucking confused it was amazing, as soon as the dance bit is over bro just rips it off and goes to sit with an equally confused Arnold who comforts him it's so funny 😭😭😭 literally acted perfectly I adored it

10/10. The plot of this show isn't much to ride home about, it's not like a life changing experience or anything, but it doesn't have to be! Its a musical! The Book of Mormon is just a genuinely fun, creative, hilarious show and I enjoyed every minute of it! I was genuinely desperate to see it again and I have never felt that way about a show before now. It completely smashes what it sets out to accommplish and I wouldn't change a thing about it. Not my favourite musical ever but honestly I think it knocked Waitress out of my top 5 lmao, sorry Waitress- I would put it at Number 3 or 4 probably!

And now!!! Ranking time!!!

6. Six

5. Your Lie In April

4. Dear Evan Hansen

3. Waitress

2. Hamilton

1. Book Of Mormon

This was genuinely really fun to do and I love going to see musicals so this genuinely might become a yearly thing! I'm seeing a decent number this year despite thinking I wasn't going to as shows keep popping up so ill probably have enough for another list like this! (spoiler alert I'm almost 100% convinced that Hadestown will be my number 1 but we'll see!!! Literally my only exposure to that show has been ads as I want to go in as blind as possible past what I already know Greek myth wise but I know it'll be spectacular)

If you've gotten to the end thank you for reading, I really appreciate it‼️‼️‼️💖💖💖🌸🌸🌸 I know it's a long ass post

[jerarca]

(  lizeth selene.  agender.  they/she.  )  did  you  hear  ?  OCTAVIA MONTOYA  is  stuck  in  stonehaven  for  the  for  the  foreseeable  future  …  they've  lived  here  for  ALL THEIR LIFE  and  are  known  around  town  as  THE  LEADER,  though  back  in  high  school  they  were  better  known  for  being  voted  MOST LIKELY TO CHANGE THE WORLD.  if  i'm  not  mistaken,  they’re  a  TWENTY-ONE  year  old  senior  studying  POLITICAL SCIENCE  (  i  really  hope  that  translates  well  into  their  role  as  a  MAYOR  in  the  ‘new  world'  ).  according  to  my  records  they  were  originally  on  the  trip  because they wanted to connect with others in a more vulnerable way  —  which  checks  out,  given  they’re  CHARISMATIC,  OBSERVANT  and  CONTROLLING.  if  you’re  ever  trying  to  find  them,  your  best  bet  is  to  start  at  town hall  and  listen  for  someone  humming  eres  by  café tacvba.  oh,  and  don’t  forget  to  try  calling  out  “captain”  or  picturing  worn leather boots caked with dirt, a small notebook with hastily scrawled plans, the glow of a flashlight cutting through foreboding forest  for  extra  help.  let's  hope  the  chaos  doesn't  get  to  them  … 

BASICS !

full name : octavia montoya nickname(s) : captain, cap, tavi, vivi ( she hates this one ) age : twenty one date of birth: december 2nd, 2002 place of birth : stonehaven, indiana gender : agender pronouns : they/them, she/her sexual orientation : lesbian ( ladies they're 5'11" , dms radio is open to communication ) spoken languages : spanish ( first language, ), english ( fluent ) education : fourth-year political science major at stonehaven college occupation : part-time grocer at mercantile ( previously ) , mayor ( currently )

PERSONALITY !

sagittarius sun. scorpio moon. taurus rising. entp. chaotic good. positive traits : adventurous, passionate, courageous neutral traits : blunt, independent, intense negative traits : restless, possessive, overindulgent tropes : only known by their nickname(s), action girl, gun twirling

THEN → NOW !

octavia was born on a frosty december morning in 2002, the youngest of three children, into a proud mexican-american ranching family in the serene south side of stonehaven, indiana. her father, santiago montoya, was a second-generation rancher who had inherited their modest family ranch. her mother, alma, was the glue of the household, balancing work at a local boutique with raising her children.

octavia’s childhood was steeped in the quiet rhythms of ranch life: waking up to the sound of cattle lowing, the smell of hay, and her father’s firm but encouraging voice as he taught her to ride a horse before she was tall enough to reach the stirrups.

even as a child, she was a force of nature—always the first to climb the tallest tree, the first to defend her siblings in schoolyard fights, and the one who, when playing pirates, insisted she be the captain. that’s where the nickname came from, initially a jest among her brothers that eventually became a mark of respect that stuck with her through the years.

the montoyas valued hard work and perseverance, but life wasn’t without its struggles. as the years went on, economic downturns and climate challenges forced santiago to shut down parts of the ranch. the family scraped by, selling off cattle and land bit by bit, but octavia was determined not to let the ranch—and everything it represented—slip through their fingers. she’d stay up late into the night, listening to her parents argue in hushed tones over bills, and it was during these moments that she swore she would become the person who could fix things, who could shoulder the weight of responsibility, no matter how heavy.

at maplewood elementary, she was the kid who organized lunchtime games and made sure no one was left out. in high school, their reputation as a natural leader flourished. they were elected student body president not once, but twice! that’s almost unheard of in their little town.

they excelled academically, particularly in history and government classes, though their grades occasionally dipped when their restless energy distracted them from homework. octavia was never just about grades; she wanted to do things. she organized charity events for the struggling families in south side, ran for office in statewide student government, and started a petition to save the local library from budget cuts. her efforts earned her the superlative “most likely to change the world,” a title she wore with pride, even though it made her feel the weight of expectations.

but octavia’s charisma wasn’t without its drawbacks. her bluntness alienated some people, and her intensity could feel overwhelming.

she had a penchant for risky behavior, like jumping off stonehaven’s tallest tree on a dare—an incident that left her with a scar on her arm and a lesson in limits she half-learned.

by the time they turned 18, octavia had set their sights on political science at stonehaven college. staying close to home was a practical decision—their family needed them, and they wasn’t about to up and leave for a degree. college life gave her an outlet for her ideals and a clearer picture of the systemic issues she wanted to address. she joined activism groups, interned with local politicians, and started dreaming of reforms that could help small towns like stonehaven thrive again.

they also began to explore their identity more openly in college. coming out was a liberating step, even if it wasn’t always easy in a town as small as stonehaven.

throughout college, octavia juggled academics, activism, and helping out on the family ranch, which had fallen into disrepair. their father’s pride meant he rarely asked for help outright, but octavia knew they were barely making ends meet. they began saving every penny from their part-time job at the mercantile and rationed their vices like smoking, aware they couldn’t afford to waste money on anything frivolous.

her tattoo collection became a way to reclaim her scars and tell her story: each design represented a lesson, a loss, or a victory. her brothers teased her about the ink covering her arms, but they also admired the way she wore her experiences so openly.

the trip was supposed to be a break—a rare chance for octavia to connect with others in a vulnerable, personal way. she felt like she’d spent so much of her life fixing things that she hadn’t taken the time to truly bond with anyone. she joined the group excursion thinking it would help her reconnect with herself and learn from others, even if she approached the idea of “team bonding” with a healthy dose of skepticism.

when the group returned to stonehaven and found it shrouded in eerie silence, octavia’s instincts kicked in immediately. she took control of the group, calming their panic while secretly mapping out every worst-case scenario in her mind. her first stop was town hall, where she set up base, gathering supplies and encouraging survivors to organize themselves into roles.

but beneath their composed exterior lies a gnawing fear: the possibility of failure. every decision feels like a gamble, and every crack in the group’s unity feels like a personal failing. despite this, they press on, fueled by the belief that leadership isn’t about being fearless—it’s about being brave enough to act, even when you’re afraid.

WANTED CONNECTIONS !

literally anything please. consider this a wip.

[z-saint-box]

Tara Duncan (2010) Series Review

"also known as, How Tara is Not a Spellbinder"

[this series review was originally posted on deviantArt]

"also known as, reviewing the first season, because the show is not good enough for a second."

"I want to like it, but I can only analyze it, because it didn't live up to my hype."

Physically attractive, yet fundamentally bland, Tara Duncan is yet another typical heroine of a standard, uninteresting girl show. Unlike the other girls, she does not have charm or personality. Rose (Regal Academy) is cute and silly, Iris (Lolirock) has an outstanding art and character design, and even Raf (Angel's Friends) has identity through how bad her show is.

As for Tara, she comes from a book series I never knew about until I learned about her equally obscure show. The former never saw widespread publication and the latter never saw widespread broadcast. Ironically, to non-French speakers, the animated series is more well-known than the book series. For perspective, I didn't even know about the Kabillion channel that she was on until I learned more about her franchise. And for that matter, only the first two Tara Duncan books have ever been translated into English whereas all twenty-six episodes of the animated series has been. Despite this, there are very few methods for Anglophones to watch the latter. A few years ago, the entire series was available on the official youtube channel until they were removed or deleted for unknown reasons; and at the beginning of 2023, it was removed from Amazon's streaming service Freevee.

However, I have a low opinion of the show, and this may have been the issue of adapting a book series into a cartoon; alternatively, the English dub may even be a bad translation. As a result, this is not necessarily a review of the show in its original voice.

One reason why I had such high hopes for Tara Duncan is the theme song. It is legitimately one of the best intro music for any cartoon ever. Each episode begins with high energy to create anticipation for Tara's next adventure. While Dania Gio slurs the lyrics to the English intro, the opening theme is still just as strong as the original French version. A complete English version does not exist; but the song is so good, I recommend listening to the original, which I can listen to multiple times despite having no knowledge of French. If anything , my opinion also applies to every language the theme song has been adapted into, such as Spanish, Castellano, Portuguese, and Arabic. The only caveat though is, the German version sounds terrible.

Either way, I'm disappointed that I could not write episode reviews for this series, unlike what I did for Regal Academy and Lolirock. It's because there is very little for me to talk about. Every draft proved difficult to write, owing to a lack of opinion. For these reasons, I even had trouble remembering episode titles. Not helping is that I can barely remember specific plot points for the majority of episodes. This very review was incredibly difficult, due to how hard it is to articulate my thoughts. It took an entire year of editing and revising, because Tara Duncan lacks creativity and personality.

The show's aesthetics are presentable, but the art and character design looks similar to W.I.T.C.H, to the point where Tara is comparable to Cornelia; and the resemblance is not only close, but understandable. Tara's line art however, is cleaner, and her color palette is brighter.

Unlike W.I.T.C.H, Tara uses CGI, and even though it is limited to just the vehicles, it looks terrible. I have to mention this because every car, trolley, boat, or airplane looks completely detached from the overall art style. They look so poor, that their time on-screen is limited; or, their time on-screen is limited because of how poor they look. I understand that vehicles are harder to draw than characters, but they must look cohesive with the world they are in; otherwise it will seem that they are a separate entity, even if the intention is to save time, effort, and money. However, this may explain why the 2022 reboot of Tara Duncan is presented entirely in CGI.

Tara uses the most basic fantasy tropes without anything unique to distinguish herself. Werewolves are vulnerable against silver, dragons love gold, and mermaids swim in the ocean. In some fairness, I was unaware of the first two before watching her; but this may explain why the original books were rejected by up to three hundred publishers, at least according to the author herself.

Ironically, vampires on the show can survive in broad daylight and they are uninterested in drinking blood. It is unknown if the latter is the result of censorship, or a design choice to show that they are different from conventional vampires. Still, their most predominant traits are not present, although Serena does order raw steak in the second episode, albeit in the morning.

Despite the variety of mythological creatures at the show's disposal, they are the same kinds that viewers are already familiar with, which also includes sirens, harpies, elves, and mummies.

Although it makes no difference when newcomers to the animated series will not understand a significant portion of her world. Sparrow's actual name is Gloria Davile. Cal's full name is Caliban Dal Salan. And Serena's name in the original French language is Selenba. I did not know the former two until later episodes, and the latter is information I had to search for on my own.

More importantly, a spellbinder is someone who has magic powers, or someone that can use spells; but at the same time, I have also read that Tara is a witch. After having watched the entire series multiple times, a witch is a spellbinder, but a spellbinder is not a witch. If I am wrong, it is the show's fault for not making this any more clear. Not only that, but the original title of the theme song is "Sortceliere," which technically does not translate into "sorceress."

[see, I told you]

And to add confusion, the official youtube channel says that Tara is a "spellweaver," but this could be a mistranslation. For convenience, "spellbinder" will be used instead of spellweaver. Not only is the former used in the English theme song, the characters use the same word in the English dub. And for a long time, I thought the first letter is meant to be capitalized, because it is an important word that specifies an important person.

I suspect that the show was created with fans of the book series in mind; in which case, the lack of exposition is understandable, albeit only for fans who have read the original text(s). But compounding this issue is Tara herself.

Being the main protagonist, she must have the strongest personality. She must have the most unique, interesting, or remarkable traits that define who she is and why she is the central character. Her physical beauty is not enough, and despite how noticeable and distinct it is, no character ever mentions or references the front portion of her hair, which is a different color from the rest of her head. While it is obviously genetics, due to her mother having the same abnormality, there is no explanation, let alone suggestion or why it is unique to her family. Because of this, it also gives the impression that it is just hair dye, or even that Tara is bad or lazy at dying her hair.

[there is something abnormal in this shot, and it's not the vampire]

Beyond this, she is not just attractive, she is a powerful magic user who lives in a luxurious manor that can literally defend her against trespassers. One of her romantic interests is Robin, a handsome elf that her rivals, Sandra and Olivia drool over. Tara even has her own majestic pegasus, and most importantly, her name is the title of the show. These elements prove that she is a Mary Su.

I honestly wonder if her creator, Sophie Audouin-Mamikonian, is actually going to read this, because Tara is a self-insert of herself; and she has admitted to this. I think I should also mention that she likes to be addressed as "Princess," because I honestly believe that the book and show were specifically created be her wish fulfillment. If they were, I'm glad she had (has?) fun, but that would explain the quality of the writing. Nothing is inherently wrong with self-inserts, but they risk becoming  flawless characters, hollow with no personality.

Tara's worst flaw is using via transportus incorrectly, and this does not happen often. If it did, it would present believable irony; she might have powerful magic, but she does not have the experience to use it correctly. And she doesn't even use other spells incorrectly or inefficiently.

In the episode "BFF," Tara says she has trouble making friends on Earth, and that she is a social outcast, but later episodes contradict this. Secondary characters such as Edward have no problem with her, and because she plays basketball, she has no issue with befriending the twins. Either that, or Sandra is less effective at suppressing Tara than she thinks, or Tara is effective at allowing Sandra to inhibit her, because at the end of the same episode, the twins walk over and socialize with her and her friends. I should also mention that in a later episode "Guardian of My Heart," the antagonist completely suspends his objective just because Tara is beautiful, I kid you not.

Even though Sparrow and Cal are not any more interesting as characters, they would make better protagonists. The former has spontaneous transformations that she cannot control, and better demonstrates naivety or lack of experience than Tara. As for Cal, his constant misuse of common Earth phrases exhibit his lack of familiarity in a new environment. But because Tara has blonde hair and blue eyes, the network decided she must be the main character.

[Even though Tara is the main character, how is she any different from the girls you see here?]

In spite of her being a Mary Su, I am legitimately interested in her role as Earth guardian. This enormous responsibility, which was passed down via mother and grandmother, is delegated to a teenage girl with teenage problems, which is highly ironic.

Being the next person in a lineage of spellbinders, Tara Duncan's plots work best when they are focused on the dilemma of balancing life as a spellbinder with the life of a non-spell, as seen in the episodes "Assault on the Manor" and "Heart of Stone."

Speaking of her magic, her powers are not based on any element, so she and her friends are not limited to one specific ability. Having an unlimited range of spells at their disposal, they have teleportation, transformation, miniaturization, memory wiping, and vocal transformation. In spite of this, these are not only basic, but they are not as interesting as they can be; and ironically, the characters limit themselves from using their powers to the full extent of their uniqueness; and due to how broad they are, the characters are not as vulnerable as they should be.

Although one good thing is, unlike the magic in Lolirock, I can not only understand the spells that Tara and friends vocalize, I can even spell them correctly without having to look them up. For example, "via reformis" is a spell that reforms or fixes things; while in Lolirock, I still don't know what "crystal collaida" is. Consequently, via reformis is a boring, uninteresting spell while crystal collaida launches a volley of crystal shards.

In general, Tara's magic is mild and subdued, to the point where climactic battles merely have characters standing back and releasing a beam, or stream of magic. I understand that these moments are meant to be intense, but the animation does not complement the action that is supposedly happening. There is not enough damage, let alone collateral damage to show the impact of what they do. Or just as egregious, when the show makes several action cuts, such as in the climax of "Four Parchments."

But it matters less when every episode follows a typical formula. A semchanach comes to Earth and Alpha team, lead by Tara, is dispatched to subdue him, her, or it. The slow pacing, excess exposition, and copious amounts of dialogue will deter new viewers. A lot of the episodes feel padded; to stretch every story to twenty-four minutes. And the runtime will feel longer if you are completely new to Tara Duncan. After passing through continuity lock-out, the show is better on a second viewing, albeit not by much. For comparison, Lolirock episodes do not require background knowledge of a pre-existing book series, especially when the show specifically takes place between the seventh and eighth book, long after basic exposition has been presented. The only good thing is that episodes can be watched out of order.

Tara is so uninteresting that I actually adore Sandra, despite her function as Tara's sworn rival. Being a direct anti-thesis to the main protagonist, straight down to her physical appearance, this may explain why she has more personality than her; even if admittedly, her worst offenses are physically attacking Tara and stealing Sparrow's diary. Although she is callous and otherwise nasty, she has more potential for growth and development than Tara does.

Whether she is unintelligent or ignorant of how to be a better person, she is a child-like brat without the same responsibilities as Tara. For these reasons, she is cuter and more fun to watch, such as the moment when she breaks down crying because she did not invite enough girls to her party.

Sandra makes every episode she appears in more entertaining. She brings the show closer to reality that Tara must deal with as a result of living on Earth. I would genuinely like to know about her than the title character, because Mary is a Tara Su

Understanding all the elements at play here, the show could have been Tara battling her grandmother. Because her mother is missing, Isabella is responsible for taking care of (or parenting) her. Due to the generation gap, Tara and Isabella could have had more intense conflict between them. Tara would like to be a regular, teenage girl while Isabella demands that she fulfill her obligation as Earth guardian. These issues are lightly discussed in episodes like "Gold Fever" and "Mirror of Youth," but they do not make a major bulk of the show. Furthermore, Master Chem is a surrogate father to Tara, and he is more liberal to her than her grandmother. For these reasons, I think the episode "Summer School" is good, because Master Chem and Isabella literally battle each other over what Tara should do for summer break. I also love the episode "Master Chem's Honor," due to Chem being stripped of his authority over Alpha Team; and consequently, his guardianship over Tara.

[you would think with a dvd cover like this, the show would be more exciting]

But this review is not entirely critical. Aside from Sandra, Sparrow is my favorite character for being cute and feminine. Aside from being attractively girly, she is also half animal, i.e. a big, hairy beast that she transforms into when she is upset or loses control. She is descended not only from the Beauty, but also the Beast, which explains her unusual, but charming quirk.

I also like the character Fafnir for her similarity to Carissa from Lolirock. Like Carissa, she has the energy of a warrior girl she makes very few appearances on the show. Unlike Carissa, she is a dwarf; but this does not stop her from using her full strength.

Master Chem is my favorite adult on the show, and beyond what I explained above, he has unique, and fun ways of debriefing Alpha Team. When Tara and Sparrow are looking through a clothing rack, he startles them by hiding in the clothes. In "Four Parchments," Chem sneaks into Tara's bedroom in the middle of night and scares her. Beyond this, he is sensible and fair to Tara and Alpha Team.

Beyond these three character, I also adore the show's use of split-screens. This is when two scenes play at the same time with a line splitting the screen. This happens when two characters are talking to each other, and they may even interact with the screen itself, usually by pulling or pushing it out. This makes the show a bit more charming, and it uses animation to its advantage. A good example is in the episode "Mirror of Youth," when Isabella pulls the split-screen from off-camera so that Tara can give her powers back to her. Another good example is in the episode "Alpha Male," when a miniature version of Tara pushes it away so that Robin can resume his mission. The creators use animation to the show's advantage, if not embraces it.

Characters and backgrounds are hand-drawn; and surprisingly, the show does not utilize flash animation, even though its production studio could have easily done this to save money. I would rather watch Tara Duncan over Angel's Friends because of this; and overall, character animation is equally good. Even though she and her friends do not wear anything interesting or unique, they are practical and conventional for everyday assignments in an urban environment.

The voice acting is nice, even if is too soft to capture a range of feelings, and even if it comes across as dull sometimes. Tara's voice in particular, is the nicest to listen to, even when it doesn't produce raw (RAWR?!) expressive emotions.

And admittedly, she is a bit less bland or dull than other girl show protagonists such as Iris from Lolirock. Not only does she play basketball with boys, she is also a fan of Madney Spears; and idolizing her, would like to dance just like her, triggering the events of "Gold Fever." So she is also athletic. I should also mention that unlike Iris, Tara is a bad singer.

And what makes her a bit more respectable than other girl shows is that she does not have a line of dolls like Winx, Bratz, or Ever After High. Instead, her series was produced to sell or promote the books, and as said before, maybe even satisfy the author's fantasies. Not only that, but Tara does not attend a special or magical school, a trope that is too common with girl shows.

Because she only lasted one season, she didn't waste all that much time, and it's still better than Angel's Friends, which got two seasons. And in a bizarre twist, I am weirdly nostalgic for her , even though I didn't catch (meet?) her back in 2010 when she was first broadcast, or when she first introduced herself.

But Tara does not have a meaningful premise, nor does she have as much spirit, or girl power, as other shows. It's quite baffling how little creativity she has, yet she was somehow given an entire, twenty-six episode animated series. I am not even the first to criticize her. For that matter, I am not even the first person to scrutinize her writing. And like I said earlier, she has another animated series. There is still no explanation for why her original incarnation did not continue for another season. Although the easiest explanation may be everything I just detailed above, because Tara is clearly lacking magic.

Overall Grade: D / D +

[the D stands for "Duncan"]

[Tara's face when she reads how bad her show is]t

[rassicas]

can I ask what goes through your head while translating ? like, do you read through the text, understand what it's about, and then start translating it ? or does the understanding happen throughout the process ?

hope you're doing well !!

i like to be open about the fact that im not a fluent JP speaker at all, at this point im like... intermediate at most. this isnt me trying to be humble or whatever i am Serious. the only reason ive translated so much splatoon stuff is because i have enough knowledge to not be stumbling around clueless, and (biggest reason) because almost nobody else was doing it. also its fun to figure out how to convey an idea across different languages.... where differences in culture and the way the language itself works creates these gaps that need to be remedied with a translation note or a looser translation/localization... i got a degree in lingusitics i think this shit is incheresting i still got plenty of gaps in my grammar/vocab/kanji knowledge, but im literate enough to get the main ideas of a passage. occasionally ill be able to fully understand it without checking a dictionary or anything and then i type up a translation. but often times the understanding is something that happens throughout the process. process is as follows: parse text to the best of my own abilities. If i'm confident i can read it ill just type up the translation. if i cant fully comprehend it all... ->if its text in a book or something, use google translate's scan function to get a digital transcription -> fix transcription if there's issues -> run text through both deepL and jisho.org. DeepL is much better than google translate at making intelligible auto translations, but it sometimes gets overconfident. sometimes i can understand what a sentence is getting at but im not sure how to neatly convey it in english, and then it's like. wow the machine did it for me. -> cross check the auto translation with the original JP text. again, i'm not fluent, but i can read enough to know what all the parts of the sentence are, and i can tell where exactly the machine translation messed up -> if i dont like how the machine structured a sentence ill rewrite it -> if there's words, idioms, grammar points etc. that i'm unsure about, i'll look into them further on jisho or find more information elsewhere online

tldr my japanese is pretty Mid but im good at researching

[mortimerlatrice]

KinnPorsche Music in Context: Episode One

It needs to be said: I started thinking about how a few of the songs used as KinnPorsche background music had incredibly apt or punny titles months ago. It’s been sort of poking around in my head that it might be some light, surface level meta to collect!

Ho boy was I wrong. I don’t know what I expected because absolutely nothing in KinnPorsche is just surface level. In episode one, I have already found several hysterical jokes, commentary on the shifting power dynamics, water symbolism, and many more gems.

Here is the link to my episode one Spotify playlist. I know there are quite a few playlists out there, but even scouring three of them, I still found additional songs that were not cited or mentioned.

There are 37 (yes, you read that correctly, 37!) songs in episode one and that's in addition to a handful of reprisals, so the insanely long list is under the cut.

For other episodes (as I get to them), go here!

We start, of course, with our beloved theme song, เพียงไว้ใจ (or PhiangWaichai) by Slot Machine. There’s plenty of thoughts on this, I’m not digging into it.

Introducing Kinn – Quantum Sonata by FormantX.

Kinn and Big head into the Italian’s den – Our Final Mission by Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen. This is the last time Big will join Kinn on a mission as his head bodyguard (I’m not crying, you’re crying.)

Introducing Don and the Italian gang – Waltz for Little Italy by Bireli Snow.

Introducing Porsch – Diggin' the Drama by The New Fools.

Kinn making accusations and  Porsche mixing drinks hoping to get lucky – Covert Affairs by Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen.

After Kinn's iconic "I'm more like my mom," we are introduced to the song that makes the most appearances this episode: Concerto No. 2 in G Minor, L’estate (Summer) composed by Antonio Vivaldi. Now here’s where the KinnPorsche crew start to do what they do best: give us things to obsess over and over analyze.

The concerto has 3 movements and to be honest I’m not 100% sure that they pull from only one of them for the show. Remember when I said I wasn’t musically inclined? If anyone wants to chime in, please do.

Another fun thing about this Concerto? It is traditionally associated with or accompanied by a trio of sonnets (one for each movement). Oh, did I mention Vivaldi was Italian? Themes.

Anyway, the sonnets translated from Italian to English:

I. Allegro non molto– Under the heat of the burning summer sun, Languish man and flock; the pine is parched. The cuckoo finds its voice, and suddenly, The turtledove and goldfinch sing. A gentle breeze blows, But suddenly, the north wind appears. The shepherd weeps because, overhead, Lies the fierce storm, and his destiny. II. Adagio; Presto– His tired limbs are deprived of rest By his fear of lightning and fierce thunder, And by furious swarms of flies and hornets. III. Presto– Alas, how just are his fears, Thunder and lightening fill the Heavens, and the hail Slices the tops of the corn and other grain.

Source

Porsche and his fanclub at Hum Bar – Late Nights by Daxton.

When Yok calls Porsche over to the bar – Mysterious Madeline by Lucas Pittman.

As Kinn is driving over the bridge and they realize they're being followed (and when Porsche is making eyes at the woman across the bar) – Road of Fury by John Abbot.

Big and Kinn fleeing into the tunnels when Big is shot and Kinn is being chased down – They Are Coming by Hampus Naeselius.

There is a brief snippet here with a snare drum and a cymbal (I think?) when Porsche is cheekily asking Kinn for money and pissing in a bottle, but I couldn’t isolate it enough to find it. Any help would be appreciated!

Here, we’re introduced to the perfect fights song, Absolute Power by Hampus Naeselius, when Porsche beats down the street thugs and drives off with Kinn.

She Knocks by Lukas Amil plays when Porsche is being a brat and leaves Kinn at the gas station.

When Porsche comes home to Chay bandaging up Arthee – In Rain - Indigo Days. Can you say water symbolism?

The Joys And Sorrows of Life by Johannes Bornlöf gives a little hope when Porsche and Arthee are sitting and talking about finances and how much they could make off Kinn’s watch.

Porsche at the underground fighting ring has three songs in quick succession: Back to Where it Began by Rockin' For Decades,

Second Hand Slide by Lucas Pittman,

And Around the Bend by Pip Mondy as he turns the fights to his favor. [It is worth noting that they use a sort of stripped down version during most of it, but I couldn't find that version, so they may have done it themselves]

When Porsche comes home to Chay and Arthee celebrating making so much money off the watch we get Gentleman at Heart by Indigo Days. I think this one’s interesting because I’m actually not sure if it’s about Arthee or Porsche…

When Don finds his men tied up and (maybe dead?) – Let Me Introduce Myself by Rune Dale. This comes right after the scene where Korn chastises Kinn for his decision to enrage Don instead of “giving him gifts.” This is Kinn telling Don exactly how he plans to run things and how very different he is from his father. Kinn's mother must have been ruthless with a good sense of humor.

When Kinn asks Chan about finding Jom/Porsche, we're back to Vivaldi’s Concerto. Like the shepherd, Porsche's Destiny hangs over his head.

College Porsche and his stolen pastry get Moonshiner's Turn by Martin Landström.

Jom is approached to act as "a waiter who's actually the greatest boxer undercover,” our dear theater kid gets Concert Hall Hideout by Stationary Sign.

A moment later when Porsche realizes he's been caught? Cheese! by Alexandra Woodward. [This one is not on the Spotify playlist but I did find it on Epidemic Sound.]

When Porsche calls Chay, worried that Chay may be targeted or even taken by Kinn? Extraction by Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen. Which is a truly horrible double entendre because the very next song is

Clogged Up by Jerry Lacey. I'm not even dignifying this scene with a response.

Kinn sweet talking Yok (with veiled threats) – Infiltrator by Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen.

Porsche’s kidnapping – Honor the Brave by Hampus Naeselius. 

Kinn reading Porsche his own biography – Beryllium - Farrell Wooten. Beryllium is, according to a brief google search, a natural metal that is expensive, brittle, and dangerous to work with (toxic).

Porsche's fight theme – Absolute Power. Except who has the power this time?

Brief reprise of She Knocks as Kinn once again watches Porsche walk away from him (or throw himself off the boat in this case).

When Korn and Kinn discuss how to force Porsche, and moving into the next scene when Porsche finds Chay cleaning up after another break-in, and through to Porsche finding Thee being beaten up – The Stakeout by Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen.

When the loan shark tells Porsche that Thee still owes despite Porsche believing they had paid things off, leading to Porsche forcefully kicking Thee out of his and Chay's life? Ghosting by Christopher Moe Ditlevsen.

When Porsche finally tells Thee to leave and after, when Porsche goes home alone to clean up his ruined house, we get one of my all time favorites – Bitter Heart - Instrumental Version by Memi. Although the soundtrack presumably uses the instrumental version, I would argue that the lyrics were taken into account when choosing it:

“Suddenly you look like a stranger A face I knew, but I must've forgotten … We know we could've done it better Fought for the little things that we wanted … Oh, I wish that you hadn't pulled the trigger Shot me down with my bitter heart My blood is getting thicker You shot me down, you shot me down With my bitter heart”

This is getting way too long, so I cut some of the lyrics but I strongly recommend checking out the original.

As Chay tells Porsche that their parents would be proud of him, there is a very brief reprisal of In Rain.

It then switches to No More Drama by Eric Feinberg as they hug and Porsche tucks Chay in. This calls back to the song that first accompanied Porsche, Diggin’ the Drama, and Porsche has made his decision. He can't keep living like this and he can't let Chay live like this either. 

Porsche's letter and Kinn pouring himself a drink – a reprisal of Gentleman at Heart.

During the famous "your life is mine" scene where, at least in the translation, Porsche asks if Kinn is a god, we get a third reprisal of the Concerto. Porsche's destiny is set, the storm has blown in and ruined his life leaving him desperate.

When Porsche confronts Korn and asks to be Big and Ken's boss and through to Korn Playing Chess – So to Say by Taylor Crane

At which point we get one, final reprise of the Concerto as Korn places the Queen on the board and the game begins.

Finally – Free Fall by Slot Machine.

And, in the interest of being thorough....

Episode Two Preview – Global Impact by Philip Ayers.

[ladylokianna]

Lost

'Cause you are not alone, i'm always there with you And we'll get lost together, 'til the light comes pouring through 'Cause when you feel like you're done, and the darkness has won Babe, you're not lost, when your world's crashing down and you cannot bear the cross, i said, baby, you're not lost [Lost – Michael Bublè]

Pairing: John Wick x Helen Wick Warnings: Mention of illness, religion. Movieverse. John Wick (first movie). Maybe OOC John. A/N: I'm in love with John since the first movie. I simply can't get him out of my head, really. This one shot was already posted years ago on an italian ff site, but I've decided to translate it (hopefully not so bad) and post it here. And since english is not my first language, be kind. Enjoy! Word count: 1k circa Moon divider by: sweetmelodygraphics Line divider by: strangergraphics

He has never been a practitioner of Churches and suchlike. In fact, to be honest, he has never been a religious man: after all, everything he has seen during his life has always made him wonder about the real existence of a God above everything.

If there really was a God, He would not allow such suffering, He would not allow the existence of atrocious diseases, He would not allow an innocent person to atone for sins for which she was not guilty.

"Do svidanije. Best wishes, I hope you'll be very happy together... that's what they say, isn't it? Ah, and may you be blessed with many children." Viggo had raised his glass in a sort of toast, before draining his vodka in one breath.

"Farewell." he felt the urge to correct him, with a hint of sourness in his voice, draining the small glass in turn.

"Why all this disdain? Remember that the shit you're leaving behind will never leave you, and sooner or later you'll have to deal with it again. This life... follows you. It clings to you. Infecting everyone that comes close to you. We are cursed, you and I."

Words that at the time he had shrugged off like dust on his coat, but which, in truth, now have the ominous tinge of a curse.

It clings to you. Infecting everyone that comes close to you.

He sees her slowly withering away, like a magnificent rose that, despite its splendour, is forced to surrender to the ineluctable decline towards withering.

"...something?"

Her voice calls him back from the turmoil of his thoughts, but not quickly enough to hear the whole sentence.

"Forgive me, I wasn't listening. What were you saying?"

"You've been sitting here for hours, John. Why don't you just go get something to eat? Don't try to argue with me, the growl of your stomach has overpowered even Vivaldi." she replies, while from the headphones she has moved from her ears he can clearly hear the violin solo from the first movement of Vivaldi's Winter.

In spite of the devastating damage of cancer and the side effects of chemo, her voice has remained unaffected. He would actually like to protest, but he knows it's hard to win, especially when Helen gets so stubborn.

He looks at the watch on his wrist and nods: perhaps a quick sandwich, so as not to waste too much time.

"Five minutes." he sighs, fumbling in his pockets for his wallet.

"Don't be in a hurry, I'm not going anywhere." Helen replies, pointing to the IVs in her arm.

"You silly." he whispers, taking her face in his hands: her eyes are tired, her eyebrows sparse and her hair a hint of fuzz compared to the thick hair of yesteryear, but she is still wonderful. He barely touches her lips in a hinted kiss: he would like to kiss her as he did every day, until he lost his breath and all inhibitions, but he cannot. "You are so beautiful..."

"Spoken like a man in love, you are not objective."

He leans his forehead against hers, calling on all his self-control: he cannot afford to give in before her, he must be her lifeline, not a quivering mess.

"Maybe." he concedes to her. "But you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

In overthinking, he ends up getting lost in the maze of corridors, taking the wrong one.

"Dammit." he mutters to himself. Of so many places, that is the last one he would have liked to see.

The hospital chapel is small and intimate, almost bare-bones compared to the many Churches dotted around New York: a modest altar, a series of benches and the walls painted a soft blue that the designer intended should have conveyed tranquillity.

How calm can you be when the person you love most in the world is hospitalised in an oncology ward?

Ignoring the benches to head to the side, preferring the tranquillity of a recess partially hidden by a column, and mechanically repeats the gestures that into the Ruska Roma they instilled in him to the point of exhaustion, but without really feeling them.

He doesn't know where to start, however, because all the prayers learned years before appear to have disappeared from his memory: to whom could an assassin address himself? To Christ? To Our Lady? Directly to God? But, who, in Heaven, would accept the pleas of a man with blood on his hands?

Perhaps he should turn to the Devil, but then that place would be entirely inappropriate.

"You know it's not her fault" he mutters, addressing Christ on the cross behind the altar. "It's not fair for her to pay for me, she never did anything wrong."

His Helen is a kind person: she does not deserve to die devoured by an illness that leaves no escape. She is his good side, his better side, the person that drove him to leave it all behind: her only fault, if that is what one wants to call it, was that she fell in love with him, with a bastard whose past was so murky that he had soiled her too.

He closes his eyes in a vain attempt not to cry as he leans against the kneeler nearby, his voice starting to tremble like the candle flames on the altar.

"I offer you my life in exchange for Helen's, one is as good as another for you anyway, right? Then take me. Take my life." he hisses, halfway between wrath and despair. He looks directly in the statue's eyes as if Christ was really there, and almost seems to read mockery in them, as if he was enjoying the mockery of a despondent man. "Take me instead!"

John hears his voice echoing, and his pathetic tone causes him to rise up sharply, enraged.

Idiot, he scolds himself. God does not come to terms with human quarrels.

[desultory-novice]

These comments seemed to deviate a bit from my “villainous Magolor” post where I discovered them but they also inspired me, so I’ll go with it and deviate some more on the topic of the “villainous friends”...

Now, personally, I've never seen the Mage Sisters as all that heroic. I mean, I adore them. I don't doubt for a second they're part of the good guys "now" but heroic? They're still wearing their evil cult (cough) "religious" uniforms! I imagine all three of them still lean a little hard on the "murder is okay!" side of things.

They helped because they had a reason to help. But are they still going to have “goat sacrifice Tuesdays” for a while? ...Possibly! (It could just be me, but I do think it's hilarious when the entire Jamba gang continue to be blatant worshippers of a dark god while chilling with the rest of the cast.)

I do think that this topic is nearing the core of why my feelings on Magolor have been in flux since DX. I’m happy for him to have a redemption arc, but I really don’t want to see him de-fanged...? I never did write that translation comparison post, but I’m endlessly thankful to the English translation for the “I just want to hear everyone scream...” :pause: “...with laughter!” exchange because it at least shows that Magolor has an unusually grim sense of humor, as opposed to him being a wholly innocent victim of the Crown. 

(Obviously, he did what he did in RtDL. No one’s questioning that. They wouldn’t name a song “Atone for One’s Misdeeds” otherwise. But I am concerned about the implications that the Crown was manipulating him from the moment he landed on Halcandra. Manager Magolor is fun and all, and while I don’t want to have a “Magolor is still the bad guy lol” Kirby Light Novel situation, I hope the sussy wizard stays somewhat sussy down the line.)

Anyway, the long and short of it is my love of gray morality characters is why I fell in love with so many of them and why I try to write all the former-antagonistic Dream Friends as still being in possession of a few villain traits. I really don't want to see anyone "brainwashed into being good" or must-always-be-on-their-best-behavior now. I want to see these flawed individuals make nice but flawed, characterful decisions.

I want the three Mage Sisters to occasionally each say really messed up things in a blithe way without realizing why said thing is weird. I want Susie to think she can solve most things in life by throwing enough money and science at them. I want Taranza to openly white-knight his beloved tyrant queen and naively blink his eight eyes over the awful things he did in her name. 

I want Magolor to engage in shady business practices with a smile and a wink, walking away while counting his cash. I want Dark Meta Knight to whole-heartedly believe murder is a "reasonable" option to most everyday situations. I want Daroach to casually purloin the cast's possessions when they're not specifically watching him, just because he can. I want Marx to break into loud hysterical laughter when someone trips and falls or breaks a plate.

The Dream Friends might as well be 10 different colored Waddle Dees if we expected them to all act good and peaceful and harmless all the time.

-

I just wanted to say though, @icedragonlizard​, I don’t know what kind of convos are going on outside my own little space on the internet, but I think people really aren’t as upset or /neg about Susie as they used to be.

There are maybe a few holdouts out there - I wouldn’t know as I don’t really go searching - but you’ll most likely never change those peoples’ minds and its best just to ignore them while shoring up a space for yourself where people aren’t attacking your blorbos just to get a reaction out of you or to spew unhappiness everywhere.

Here, have this “Deal With It” Susie w/ shades!

(PS: I recently learned I had been drawing both Susie and Taranza quite off-model! Her helmet actually goes down way longer than I thought, less of a “headband” and more like a metal boudoir cap. And Taranza’s lowest set of hands start at the middle of his body and go up toward his head. I thought I remembered them as starting at his waist and going down instead. Oops!)

[kavehpilled]

ALL of them.

OK SO YIU HATE ME

1. how many followers do you have?

somewhere around 1.7k i lost track a long time ago

2. whens the last time you went on a date?

june? its been so long ☹️

3. how many posts have you made?

WELL over 20k this account is 3 years old

4. what type of shoes do you wear?

white avia elevates or my blue converse

5. what color are the walls of your room?

cream at my moms, brown at my dads

6. where are you right now?

in english im about to pull the trigger

7. would you consider yourself good at art?

perchance…. i know im alright enough at it that people like my art and make it their pfp sometimes. i even have a mutual that printed a drawing i did of atsushi and put it on their wall💀

8. who was your first kiss?

you😛

9. do you still sleep with stuffed animals?

YEA LIKE 5 LMFAO

10. whats your favorite piece of clothing you own?

i have a really nice red cardigan that i basically live in at home

11. do you live in an urban, suburban, or rural area?

suburban all around i think i dont remember

12. whats your favorite store to shop at?

goodwill🫶

13. if you had to choose one POSITIVE word to describe yourself, what would it be?

gentle i think

14. do you collect anything?

classic novels! im restarting my collection of tiny bear figurines and friendship bracelets tho

15. whats the last thing you ate?

i had a banana applesauce like an hour ago :)

16. if you go to therapy, do you like your therapist?

i go once a month and shes nice! got me referrals for diagnoses so that was chill

17. whats one thing you want to buy, but dont have the money or resources to get it?

WRIOTHESLEY DOLL.

18. whos the first person you can think of?

you

19. how old were you when you found out santa wasnt real?

i think ~5? my cousin told me :(

20. if you could revive one tv show that has been cancelled, what would it be?

jjk bro pls revive and continue for me. i need satosugu to be happy

21. do you consider yourself a part of any alternative subculture?

i dont think so!

22. who was your childhood favorite music artist?

taylor swift or sir mix a lot

23. cds or record players?

despite my extensive cd collection i would say records

24. do you believe in any conspiracy theories?

i wish but i think too rationally for any of that

25. would you get back together with an ex if given the opportunity?

i think people always deserve a second chance and we are legitimate living proof of that, even if that concept like translates into relationships. im nowhere near ready for anything right now but if i ever got back together with ANYONE they would have to change a lot. i have hope in everyone tho

26. favorite kids show character?

kwazii from octonauts :)

27. is the person you call your best friend actually your best friend?

yeah!

28. when youre sad, do you prefer to listen to music to match your mood, or listen to happy music?

sad music all the way. i rarely cry so when im genuinely upset its nice to get it out to sad songs yk

29. whats the last outfit you wore?

im a chronic outfit repeater so. white turtleneck under a dark green sweater that has pumpkins all over it and dark brown cargo pants. ive worn this like 10 times

30. do you have any online friends?

YES alice ezra and skylia are the ones i talk to the most!! but i have a lot of mutuals i love interacting with ppl

31. least favorite clothing style that is currently popular?

those white fox hoodies make me carnally angry

32. how often do you do your laundry?

once a week at my dads, twice a week at my moms. its a weird system but i have more clothes at my moms currently

33. do you prefer silver or gold jewelry?

gold, silver makes me look sad and grungy

34. whats your book/movie/tv guilty pleasure?

i like reading cherry crush on webtoon when im bored💀🙏

35. if you could change your hair however you want, how would you change it?

id probably dye it to calico colors but im scared ill look like a goof

36. do you paint your nails?

sometimes! i did them blue like for a day and then i got bored. i pick at them too much so its like a little treat

37. whats an uncommon/specific/ obscure topic youre interested in?

vampire burial practices and eastern european rituals

38. whats the name of your first pet?

KITTY💀 he was an orange cat that got eaten by coyotes

39. whats one feature you would change on tumblr?

im not active enough to notice anything…

40. whats the most interesting item you own?

i think a tiny glass giraffe i love him

41. would you rather go on a date at a museum or a concert?

museum all the way i love intimacy with that kinda thing

42. whats one regret you have?

i could go into extensive detail about what i seriously regret in my life but i think my main one is not telling you enough before we split apart

[changedname-originals]

Me sharing that essay i wrote combined with a few assignments i got at school recently really got me back into writing so im gonna share the script for a monologue i wrote recently. Please do keep in mind that it is the translated version and that i haven't practiced it yet, so some lines may end up changing a bit while i figure out what works, but it's pretty close to how its gonna end up. Also anything in these brackets () will be directions while anything in these brackets [] will be context.

Hello, hello, hello everyone! Please be welcome and prepare to enjoy my monologue tonight! Be ready to burst with laughter because what I am about to show you is the most hilarious role I have ever played on this stage! George is the dullest man in the world compared to this! [George was the character who i played in my last play and was probably the funniest role i have ever played] If you could please be patient for a moment, then I can do some quick final preparations. (go to the "backstage" and sit down with a sigh) Man, what even is this play, it is the shallowest entertainment there is, makes the audience laugh and that is all it does. Doesn't make them think, doesn't make me think. I am so done with this empty, soulless comedy, my potential is so much higher than this…. But the audience expects another comedy from me, and what if they don't like this? What if I open up my soul and they stomp all over it like this with demands for a comedy and questions of what this nonsense is. Maybe I should just keep it a comedy… No, no I can't handle another soulless thing like that, it has to be something personal this time…. I could start it with a light tone, so they get a little of what they expect, and then show my suffering… But even then I still have to write something and what do I tell the audience…. And even if I do, is that enough? Will that make me happy?…. Maybe I should do something new, be more open about who I am, maybe something with my hair or clothes, maybe even come out…. just something to be more myself. [i recently came out at school during a presentationin what i still think was a really powerfull message but sadly didn't script so can't share and i also recently painted my hair and am planning on making a whole new style change which should be finished well before the play] I can just start by cutting off a small part of this metaphorical mask and gauge what the reactions are and from there I'll see. (take a deep breath in and out and return to the stage) Hey. Thanks for the patience. But I hope you guys have some patience left, because unfortunately I can't perform my monologue tonight. Mr. [teacher's name], I hope you understand this and can give me an extension, because my potential is much higher than this mindless comedy. I hope you are not too disappointed, but if you can forgive this and come to my next play you will see how much deeper my plays can be. I hope you can enjoy the rest of the monologues performed tonight, but for mine you will have to come back another time. Good night.

This time i learned from my mistakes and just translated it using deepl and checked it through to see what parts needed changing instead of wasting hours on translating it manually. Also some parts just don't translate into english that well so i just did my best there. Also i got an english assignment a few days ago where i also wrote a story and it still needs editing, but once i'm done with that i will be posting it here too, so i hope you guys will stay tuned for that. Anyways i hope you guys enjoyed this and have a great rest of your day.