#I did it bc the end bit reminded me of lang

[bear-fangs]

Avenge mee

[puppy-phum]

2022: a summary

Post your favourite or most popular edit from each month this year (it’s okay to skip months!)

tagged by krishna @i-got-the-feels ♥ thank you, thank you, thank you~

January

Popular - my tribute for the ending of bad buddy and my journey with patpran ♥ am happy ppl liked both the typography and the color scheme in this. 

Favorite - i started obsessing over lang leav’s poetry + patpran with this one. i love the blues and the middle images with the shattered yous all over. it was a pain to do but worth it.  

February

Popular - this one patpran edit that still makes rounds at times. it’s probably one of my most popular edits in general and i am very happy it is bc i adore it myself ♥

Favorite(s) - i am bad at choosing for this month so i have to mention both this bb edit bc i love the violet and the shots i chose, and this seanwhite edit bc the lang leav poem is Perfect and i think this one looks amazing. 

March

Popular - this very quickly made ptpran edit with the sun and moon quote from my country i had stuck in my head for ages. i never really thought that anyone would notice this but i guess we all were into the same symbolism?

Favorite - very very tough choice once again but i was very passionate about this danyok edit that i made while hoping praying begging that they would get a happy ending 

honorary mentions:  not me characters + problems x not me characters as seven deadly sins x

April

Popular - this seanwhite edit for the not me celebration was a pain to make bc i felt like nothing of it worked like i hoped it would but i did love the final result ♥

Favorite - watching dew the movie changed me somehow and making both the edit for that absolute piece of art of a movie was a true joy. i made those edits only for myself bc i had to get some of that feeling off my chest and the first one owns my heart. 

May

Popular - more lang leav with patpran. i adored this layout even if it, once again, was a huge pain to make 

Favorite - had a field day planning this whole edit bc i haven’t done anything with as much detail and meaning in a while. tried new things and was very satisfied with the outcome. also loved making something darker and more focused on symbolism. 

June

Popular - cheering at the fact that ppl felt as insane about the official vice versa trailer as i did! i have never felt that strongly about a starting show. vv really is just so special to me and this first edit feels so dear ♥

Favorite - of course it’s my pride month edit! i still return to this one at times, it was so much fun to make. 

July

Popular - we were all hoes for kinnporsche the series and especially vegaspete during the summer so am not at all surprised that my first (and for the longest time only) vegaspete set got a bit more popular heh

Favorite - this vv set for the trailer is my beloved bc the colors were good, the pics worked, th flowers looked good. i love the style of this one and it just makes me so emotional to even look at it. 

August

Popular - not blaming ppl for liking the fire yellow episode edit the most bc it is my favorite too (with soft blush and cloudy gray). also ep 6 is my favorite episode in vice versa so even more fitting. 

Favorite - i spent a huge amount of time researching the mbti types for this and had so much fun with it plus i loooove the pastel looks for all the pics. 

September

Popular - the cloudy gray episode edit is the one with most notes for this month which, once again, i do not blame anyone for! i personally love the b&w + pops of color look. 

Favorite - the fah + prince introduction edit i made for asianlgbtnet. i enjoyed making this one a lot even if i knew it wouldn’t get that much attention with sky in your heart never really... taking off... sadness ;;

October

Popular - the last vice versa episode edit! which always reminds me of the struggle with my laptop... noodle accident, you will forever be famous 

Favorite(s) - all of my bad buddy week entries! favorite character: pran parakul x favorite episode: episode 11 x favorite dynamic: pranwai x

November

Popular - the impromptu last twilight trailer edit i made bc that trailer really just stole my heart and soul. i still watch it occasonally just to feel something

Favorite - the lang leav + puentalay edit i finally managed to make. i planned this one for a long while and currently it’s one of my personal favorite edits of mine 

December

bc of traveling, the holidays, and me mostly just waiting for ppl to drop me prompts throughout this time, i only made two edits during december so mentioning both of them. 

vice versa x bad buddy parallels as flipped lives x 

puen babygirl x

i adore both and never expected either of them to be famous ♥

this was a cool look at all of the things i made last year. there have been quite many? i think october had the most with me finally surviving my laptop crisis and then just going wild :’D 

tagging: @oswlld @wanderlust-in-my-soul @ardentlytess @spicyvampire @liyazaki @dimpledpran @snimeat ♥ link me if you’ve already done this bc i think am kind of late...

[dumbkatsu]

.......hello!

once again, your writing is a m a z i n g :)

may i request......any hcs to your liking,,,but with qi rong...? i haven't seen people request somethin for him on Tumblr yet?

[you don't have to do this request, if you don't want to-]

-anon, who managed to somehow misspell 'xie lian' in a request.

Hello again anon!!

kdfvhgdif it's ok it abt the misspelling happens to the best of us dw.

OMG, you really know how to stimulate my brain juice and bring me a new challenge!!! I've never written for a character like qi rong, let's do it!

I'm just gonna do some hc bcs idk how this will work out. I'm just gonna go with the flow but I'm excited to do this!!

TW: panic attack

Ok so this ancestor has the tagged tsundere slapped on his forehead so imma add a bit of that.

So you met when you were delivering water chestnuts to puqi shrine

Xie Lian wasn't present at the moment, only qi wrong, gu zi, and Lang Ying.

The two kids were playing outside and when they noticed you Gu Zi led you inside so you could put the heavy bag near the kitchen.

You heard some muffled screams and when you turned around a man was tied by some white bandages and he was thrashing violently

You approached him carefully and gently removed a strip from his mouth

Safe to say that qi rong was a bit held back because no one had touched him as gently as you in a long time

Especially in such a delicate place.

Your hands were softer than the most vibrant orchid petals. And your single touch so gentle

The feeling was fleeting and so his stunned face quickly changed to his usual demeanor

"WHAT WERE YOU WAITING TO UNTIE ME YOU UGLY HAG?"

To say that you weren't expecting such a sweet face to say those words is an understatement.

You kinda panicked so you swiftly swept the strip to cover his mouth again

Not changing the gentleness might I add.

You patted the two kids' heads and went on your way.

A couple of days later you returned to deliver a bag of rice as a payment for the help that Xie Lian and Hua cheng gave when helping your father's fields

And there he was again, but this time he was sleeping. He didn't have the strip of cloth on his face

After you carefully put down the rice you got near him.

It did make you think that his features were refined. Maybe he could have been a prince in another lifetime

You pushed away some of his hair away so you could have a better look.

Qi rong opened his eyes but for a second he thought he was still dreaming

You were so close to his face

He let out a scream

You screamed in fright and landed on your but

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? ARE YOU TRYING TO SEDUCE THIS ANCESTOR BY FORCE, YOU WRETCHED MORTAL?!?!"

You were hyperventilating a bit. Your chest was getting heavy and the room was spinning.

"I'm s-s-sorry I- I didn't mean t-to." your breathing was getting labored by the second and you started to lose focus.

"Dad Xiao Jie is not feeling well don't scream!" Gu zi said with a worried tone " Ha! Even you dare to order me around?! What an ungrateful son I have!!"

He threw a look at you and couldn't help but be reminded of when he was weak and powerless against the splendor of his cousin. When he tried to cultivate but ended up paling in comparison to even his cousin's servants.

He sighed "Aiya, hey look at me. Try to follow my breathing. Breathe in....breathe out.".

After a while, you calmed down and bowed to him " Thank you. I apologize for this."

His mouth was agape. No one has ever bowed to him out of gratitude and respect. Who were you? Why did you make him feel these new things? What did you want from him?

"Meh whatever, you look too weak anyway for me to have a satisfying meal" he said under his breath

"What?"

"What!?"

You huffed with a smile on your face " Well I thank you again gongzi" you bowed and left

Every week you payed a visit to puqi shrine. Bringing the kids and Qi Rong treats made by yourself.

You odly enjoyed listening to Qi rong talk and boasting about his deeds. He was a very funny narrator. He would go on tangents to trash people he didn't like and somehow he knew all of the gossips in the village.

Guess that sitting in the shrine all day doing nothing bettered his hearing skills.

He was also a pretty good listener. He gave great advice.

Although a bit extreme and dramatic, you knew the meaning he tried to convey.

And qi rong would never admit it but the best part of the week was when you came through those gates

Even Xie Lian started to realize that his rambunctious cousin started to be a bit calmer.

One day you were listening to him reciting a poem.

Yes I know it's odd but you were pestering him so much about it when he told you that he remembered a couple of poems from xianle that he conceded to your pleas just to shut you up.

And you did bring douhua...his favorite desert...

It tasted so much like the one his mother used to give him...

Qi Rong’s voice was soft as the autumn breeze swayed the leaves outside. The red, yellow, and orange tones mingled with the afternoon sun.

You couldn't help but fall asleep. You had done so many errands today. You were very tired. And his soft voice just lulled you to dreamland

Qi rong felt something hit his shoulder.

His breath was caught in his throat.

How could a measly mortal human look so ethereal and in peace as you looked now? Your lashes, your chubby soft cheeks, your hair swaying with the breeze. He couldn't bear to disturb you from sleep.

He huddled closer to try and provide you with more support and tried to give you a bit more warmth.

and without thinking, he pressed his lips to the crown of your head.

He realized what he did and sighed " Aiya what are you doing to me? I can't be going soft or else I'll be as pathetic as cousin crown prince..."

"But this is not that bad"

[athena14044]

It just occurred to me that I could be posting about my attempt to read all of She-Hulk’s appearances so let me get caught up to where I am currently

Savage She-Hulk, 1st time with the Avengers, Contest of Champions, Secret Wars, Time with the Fantastic Four, Secret Wars II

Savage She-Hulk

Generally very nice

There was a letter on the letters page of #8 that was from a 7th grader who said that all of her friends and her history teacher (a nun) love it and I- 🥺 Please that’s so sweet.

I liked the secret identity angst with her father.

The weird love triangle (square?) between her, Richard Rory, and Zapper is very weird.

In the beginning they seemed to be going more for the “she’s one person not two separate personalities” but then they were like “actually Jen is in love with Richard Rory and She-Hulk is in love with Zapper” and I do not like it. Outside of that they weren’t really separate personalities? idk

Anyway, I liked Richard Rory, but not Zapper. They talked about how she was his babysitter?? Hi, what?

Then in the last issue she chooses Zapper over Richard Rory because she’s choosing to stay in her She-Hulk form but he is not mentioned again after that. (at least up until where I am but still)

Avengers (v1 #221-243)

I liked the earlier issues but about halfway through it started to feel like the Avengers lineup was changing every issue which is fine I guess but it felt less coherent and like they had less time to explore the characters’ relationships with each other.

Unrelated to Jen, but I liked the issue where Scott Lang and Hawkeye teamed up to stop Taskmaster from taking over the circus.

Starfox 👎

Contest of Champions

This was kind of bizarre. They clearly just wanted their superheroes to fight each other for no apparent reason, which. Valid I guess.

But it was a bizarre mix of famous heroes and completely random international heroes, and I’m kind of interested to know if the random international heroes were big at the time or if they were just putting them in to entice international readers.

Anyway, it has the distinction of being the first Marvel event.

How dare it spawn the curse that is Marvel events.

But also it was only 3 issues and had no tie-ins so it’s fine I guess.

Secret Wars

I liked it although I think it may have dragged on a bit too long.

I like Molecule Man

Wasp kissed Magneto that was weird

Idk I don’t have much to say

Fantastic Four (v1 #265-300)

This is a really bad time to jump into the middle of the Fantastic Four. Everything is happening.

Wyatt’s here though. That’s good. I like Wyatt.

Generally I like Byrne’s characterization and I think he’s very good at emotional drama.

But then all of a sudden you get an entire issue where Jen has to stop the skeeviest guy you can possibly imagine from publishing her nudes. Or SHIELD agents strip searching her while making racist comments towards Wyatt. (Technically this was in Marvel Graphic Novel #18 but it was during the time she was part of the F4 and Byrne wrote it so) Or the constant reminders that Byrne retconned the age gap between Reed and Sue. Or Sue being possessed by hate and Reed demeaning her and slapping her to snap her out of it. Or uh, just the Hatemonger thing in general.

In summary, mostly enjoyable but I occasionally had to chant “It was 1985″ while scrolling down the page in horror. (which does not excuse it but I’d like to think it couldn’t be published like that today)

Secret Wars II

The beginning of the tie-ins in other comics during events AKA the bane of my existence

Speaking of, I read the Daredevil tie-in bc it promised me the Beyonder badgering Matt for legal advice and then it did not deliver and instead gave me a tragic story where he had his sight restored so thanks for that

I did not need to spend 9 issues reading about the Beyonder’s existential crisis.

I wouldn’t mind reading about a character’s existential crisis, in fact I think comics need more of that and less of incomprehensible symbiotes take over the planet events, but the Beyonder. Why should I care. They did not give me a reason to care.

Can we talk about the two times he showed up in the Fantastic Four during this:

1. A very distressing issue where a small child idolizes Johnny and ends up setting himself on fire. He dies, Johnny considers giving up being the Human Torch. The Beyonder shows up and tells Johnny that he can’t do that. He does not attempt to revive the small child with his near limitless power. I don’t know, there was some crap about him truly living in the moment of his death bc he felt close to his hero.

2. To sum up a complicated mess: Dr Doom is in a random guy’s body because of reasons. He summons the Beyonder. The Beyonder attempts to vaporize him but ultimately gives Doom back his body also because of reasons and revives the consciousness of the man whose body Doom stole. I believe this is because they were trying to explain why Doom was in Secret Wars when he was supposed to be dead.

Why are we giving Doom back his body but drawing the line at resurrecting an 8 year old who set himself on fire.

There was some nice Molecule Man content. I did not realize how much I like Molecule Man but I guess I like Molecule Man. He just wants to play trivial pursuit and watch tv with his girlfriend which is Valid.

Enjoy this cursed lettering mistake if you made it this far (Incredible Hulk #278)

[sleeplesscenarios]

Big Eyes and Little Glasses random headcanons

aka Lang Qiao and Xiao Haiyang (from Mo Du) because they need more appreciation and content!! some very random stuff that popped into my mind while plotting, enjoy! (@9kghn​ i’m tagging you here too <3)

Look at their nicknames, they’re opposites of each other just like their personalities!

According to donghua team, Lang Qiao is 165 cm which is normal girl size and Xiao Haiyang is 192 cm which is fucking giant size. Also Lang Qiao is 2 years older.

So now Xiao Haiyang keeps calling her “Xiao-Qiao-jie" which is heckin’ cute and canonly makes Lang Qiao’s heart skip a beat and it’s especially cute because it has the “you’re older than me but you’re smol tho” meaning instead of the previous “you’re younger than me but i call u jie bc u work here longer”.

On that note, Xiao Haiyang is an awkward giant which means his posture is probably terrible and he’s always slouching. Imagine Lang Qiao just rambling about something and he’s blinking down at her because “*oh shit I have no idea what she said I was distracted by the smol & cute even tho she could kick my ass haha-* Yes, I was listening!”

Xiao Haiyang is terribly touch starved and doesn’t understand social cues and rituals which are very important to Lang Qiao, however, she’s luckily pretty flexible.

It could result in small fights but nothing an apology (instead of a 5 pages self-examination not even touching the important subject) can’t solve.

More on the touch starved point: I mean he’s just awkward and doesn’t really have friends so I imagine he’d probably freak out if someone let alone his crush touched him in any way.

Exhausted Lang Qiao resting her head on his shoulder and Xiao Haiyang doesn’t dare so much as breathe in fear of disturbing her.

Lang Qiao purposely flustering him by leaning a bit too close to him or just poking him.

Xiao Haiyang accidentally keeps flustering Lang Qiao because after she realizes her own feelings, even standing close to him can fluster her and she’s lowkey losing her mind about it.

Xiao Haiyang firm member of the “hugs are better than kisses” squad because he can occasionally get some hugs without having to admit his humongous crush.

Confessions can go two ways, no in-between:

1. Lang Qiao notices his very obvious crush, corners him and bluntly asks him about it (imagine normal sized girl kabedoning giant sized boy)

2. Xiao Haiyang rediscovers his courage and prepares a speech but his eidetic memory fails him and ends up being a stuttering mess then gets annoyed and just starts complaining how it’s unfair that she keeps doing this to his heart.

FIRST DATE WHILE WALKING AROUND GETTING STREET FOOD!!  

After being in a relationship, Xiao Haiyang always buying little snacks for his girlfriend. He can’t get used to how “girlfriend” sounds. He also can’t get used to how “boyfriend” sounds from Lang Qiao’s mouth.

Xiao Haiyang constantly experiencing mini-heart attacks because Lang Qiao is too freaking cute and also pretty and hot and everything perfect.

Insecure Haiyang is a petty bitch who gives the silent treatment then starts yelling smh. Lang Qiao is having none of it and yells back. Xiao Haiyang ends up sitting on Luo Wenzhou’s couch asking Fei Du for help because he believes with all of his heart that every word of President Fei is the absolute truth. Fei Du teaches him the ‘immediately apologize then say I love you for good measure’ tactic – LWZ gets annoyed. It’s, however, successful.

Lang Qiao is ready to fight off everyone who would flirt with Haiyang but unfortunately, there isn’t really a competition so that one time, when they’re questioning witnesses outside and this girl takes a liking to Xiao Haiyang she’s ready to square up because finally she can establish dominance over her man. Poor girl.

Xiao Haiyang giving small presents for no special reason just because he remembered Lang Qiao said she wanted or liked them or just saw something that reminded him of her.

Cuddles are heaven because as stated above, Xiao Haiyang loves them and Lang Qiao would be more than happy to tackle her tall ass boyfriend any chance she gets.

On that note, BACKHUG BACKHUG BACKHUG!!

Also, piggy back rides because she’s tired from working and obviously can’t go from the parking lot to her door on her own feet, not if she has a boyfriend ready at the princess’ command. “Why are your legs shaking, I’m not that heavy.” “Well, you kind of are-” “Not another word or we’re through :)” “Yes, ma’am!”

Xiao Haiyang promptly changes his opinion about “hugs are better than kisses” after their first kiss which is either him awkwardly knocking their lips together or Lang Qiao grabbing his collar and pulling him down for a proper one (or both).

Lang Qiao going in to the office and casually pecking Haiyang on his lips, cheeks, wherever she can reach that morning. The whole office just stares. Xiao Haiyang is beet red. There are clapping and whistles. “Oh, shit I forgot we haven’t told them yet.”

“Imperial Father, may I ask for permission to court the Eldest Princess.”

Xiao Haiyang has all of these petnames in his head from the numerous sleepless nights he spent pining. Never gets to use any of them because Lang Qiao just calls him a little baby sarcastically and then he calls her a midget and they just know that there’s not gonna be any of that “love” and “darling” and “sweetheart” shit. (At least for now.)

Office romance is all fun and games until they move in together and realize that it was pointless, they spend 90% of their time in the bureau anyways.

On day offs they make attempt to cook something and Xiao Haiyang has a bunch of recipes in his head because he knows Lang Qiao loves trying new food but somehow, things go a bit different when he actually tries to cook. Kitchen is a mess, something is on fire, they spend the time they wait for take-out cleaning up.

There’s one time when Lang Qiao realizes she’s not wearing make-up because she just woke up and she can’t let Haiyang see her like that to which Xiao Haiyang just says, “You do know that I literally fell in love with you while you were running around the office with disheveled hair and bags under your eyes after pulling all-nighters, right?” “You sure know how to flatter a woman, huh?” XHY: *is this sarcasm or not, did I say smth wrong again???*

“Jie, I bought us a cat.” “Please tell me you’re kidding.” “No, Captain said the key to a prosperous relationship is a cat and you love cats and I was passing by a shelter so...”

Lang Qiao is constantly asking herself why she’s dating this walking disaster then she catches a glimpse of the light in Xiao Haiyang’s eyes when he just stares at her and sighs. Who could not fall in love with someone who looks at them with so much affection?

[fma03envy]

Thoughts on rewatching FMA CoS for the first time in around a year:

Love the beginning. Prime 03 comedy

The CoS artstyle is undoubtedly my favorite art style in any version of fma (I know it's really close to the regular 03 art style but They Are Not The Same. The reason all my art has those lines on characters' cheeks is from seeing CoS)

The gender envy I get from waistcoats in general combined with the gender envy I get from Ed... Yeah......

Like the continuity of Ed being absolute shit at driving a tractor in 03 and being no better at driving a car here <3

Why is Ed taller than Mustang when they stand next to each other in the opening???

"Just an old habit of mine" I hope Edward knows I care for him

The audio's timing is slightly off in the YouTube version of this and it's really starting to bug me. I really CoS was on Netflix

It makes absolutely no sense that Noah can see ppls pasts by touching them when no form of "magic" (alchemy, Envy's shapeshifting, etc) works here

I've talked before about how much I love quietly sad protags (Jon, David 7, etc) so CoS Ed is really getting to me

This movie has so many side characters who I want to punch in the face (Hughes especially)

I am once again Caring Too Much about/for Envy but this time I think I have more justification than other times

This movie has a lot of new plot stuff that simply can't bring myself to be interested in

Idk why the wiki theorizes that Eckhart is alternate universe Dante. Logically alternate universe Dante would've died like 400 years before this

Wrath!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Hm my feelings on Alfons are mixed. Like. I do know that the fact that he let Noah live with him and was kind to her indicates that he definitely doesn't hold nazi beliefs or anything. And I do realize that since his goal in life was so niche/expensive working with the Thule society was probably the only chance he would get to fufill his dream (especially given the economic recession, and his lung cancer). But still his choice to ignore Ed's warnings about them along w/his "showing them Germany isn't beaten yet" line is Not Great

I feel like Lang's "maybe I'm trying to avoid being forced out of my dream" line could have some sort of wider plot symbolism relating to either Ed feeling like this world is a dream or Alfons' dream of building rockets but if so I'm not good enough at analysis to understand it. Maybe I'm overthinking and it only means what it seems to tho

Wrath doesn't seem to use alchemy at all during his fight with Gluttony??? Did he lose that ability when he lost Ed's limbs or something???

Speaking of Wrath's fight with Gluttony. I'm so sad it's unreal.

On a different note though. I don't think it would make sense that Wrath would get to see Izumi again given the precedent for how the gate works it's not like she had just died a few minutes before like when Al brought Ed back or anything

Also. Did the ppl animating the bit in the gate just. Forget how CoS Wrath looks. Bc in the rest of CoS Wrath has automail and looks noticably older bc of the timeskip, but in the gate he looks 13 again and has his limbs back?????

Ok I'm going to stop trying to find things to nitpick about Wrath's death simply bc I'm upset that he died. Back to your regularly scheduled reactions

...So time to be upset about Envy's death instead! Literally wtf was CoS thinking by reducing him to a plot point and then killing him off like that?!?! I know Envy's a terrible person but like. He got treated like a lab rat and experimented on by literal nazis for an extended period of time. I think some sort of vengeance for him is called for

It's sort of like my thoughts on the Slicer brothers ig. Like yeah you suck but the punishment really doesn't fit the crime and they had no right to do that to you.

Wrath's death makes me so sad and Envy's makes me so mad I'm generally just suffering rn

I really wish Noah could've gotten through the portal. Obviously Amestris is no Shamballa like she thought but still

"Welcome home" The dramatic irony of this when I know full well how CoS ends 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

CoS really said, "Oh, so Al lost all his memories of the traumatic things that happened to him in armor? Guess we'll give him new traumatic experiences to make up for it!" (Seriously though Alphonse doesn't deserve this he's 13)

Why can the gate be opened from just one side but has to be closed from both

CoS's and TMA's endings reminds me of each other and theyre both bittersweet in a way that rips my heart out

The way CoS ends is so plothole-y but still makes me so emotional

[littlebigafterdark]

patton's asthma attack and finally agreeing to try therapy

content warnings: hurt/comfort, detailed description of asthma attack, very brief mention of past eating disorder, crying (i always hav that tho)

i copy pasted this from mine and livs discord convo so thats why it might be formatted weird and i swear a lot also if you see "hhh yeah" then thats liv commenting hshshsh

patton has had a cough the past few days because BASICALY since priscilla (remys cat) visited hes been more breathless with his asthma but he didnt tell anyone bc he doesnt want to worry them or make it so vee never get to see priscilla again if she cant visit anymore

so his asthma is acting up but he ignores it - and hes had asthma cough for a couple days (which is a sign of an incoming asthma attack) but again hes ignoring it, hes so used to brushing off symptoms he doesnt click what it means and he diesn ttake his inhaler when he needs it

WAAAHH oh fuck oh my god oh god wait fuck i just realised

the moment patton gets his asthma attack its saturday afternoon, roman is little and playing with logan and vee isnt quite little yet but fae's on faer way there, fae is very giggly and playful and patton says "okay babygirl, lets go get you changed!"

and when he gets up from the couch he takes a moment to cough and just stand still a sec bc he got suddenly dizzy but he pushed through it to not worry vee, and he actually usually lifts her onto his hip straight away, but this time he very subtly is like "okay hold daddys hand while we walk to the stairs"

so they get to the stairs and patton of course lifts vee up, and theyre only a few steps up when pattons breathing gets really heavy. it makes vee frown and look at him and say "daddy am i heavy?"

and patton smiles and shakes his head, because hes too breathless to speak. but he pushes through and hurries up as fast as possible

once theyre at the top of the stairs, patton is wheezing. his chest is rattling and whistling and he suddenly loses his smile and quickly hurries away from the stairs to place vee gently on the hallway floor, and as soon as vee is safe patton wobbily sinks to his knees and leans his head against the wall. his eyes shut tight trying so so hard to breath but its realy whistly now

and vee of course panics. "dady? papa are you okay??" and whimpers when patton doesnt react and clutches at his chest

and it throws her out of her semi regression. she jumps up and hurries downstairs, a little wobbily but ultimately fine. and she speints to where logan and riman are and yells "daddys h havin a panic attack!" and instantly starts crying

logan and roman were in the middle of a game and smiling and laughing but as SOON as they hear that they jump into action. logan runs out of the room to go to patton and roman grows up and runs to vee and lifts her up to shush her cries and calm her down - they dont even share a single look before they do this, they both just instinctively know what to do

and logan of course finds patton and realises its an asthma attack not a panic attack - he goes into his emergency like emotionless mode where he just gets the job done. he asks clearly where patton keeps his inhaler and patton just shakes his head. so logan alarmed asks "you dont have a reliever inhaler??" and patton winces and shakes his head again.

logan sprints to his room into his bedside drawer to find tthe inhaler he keeps for emergencies double checking it hasnt expired

he sits with his legs around patton, patton leaned back agains his torso, and puffs pattons inhaler for him and times the attack and the puffs (knowing that if it isnt better after ten puffs and fifteen minutes they have to call an ambulance) and using his own deep breaths against pats back to help him recalibrate his breathing

luckily it only lasts 8 and a half minutes and 8 puffs - but logan is so so shaken about the fact that that was very close to requiring medical assistance, he had his ohone out ready to dial 911

once pattons attack is over he's finally breathing, short and deep at first gasping in the oxygen, but within a few more minutes of sitting against logan it slows down and is much calmer. hes very shaky because the reliever inhaler does that to you, and weak from the tax on his body, so logan helps him up into their nearest bedroom (pattons)

at first he calls roman to swap places with him and watch over patton hust so logan can change vee into a diaper since she regressed from fear as soon as roman picked her up and obv he cant change her diaper

so roman sits with patton while logan does that and roman is actually really quiet and awkward and nervous, just looking wide eyed at patton and hugging himself.

and patton feels bad abt that and whispers "its okay little prince, daddys not hurt. im sorry for scaring you, honey" and roman just chews his lip and nods and looks down and they dont talk again until logan is back and roman goes out to take care of vee and logan comes in to lie with patton and rub his chest soothingly

logan is distressed and frustrated and shaken at that point but he knows not to have their conversation until the next day bc patton will be emotionally and physically exhausted

but the next day they have a serious talk - logans pretty ANGRY that patton was so ignorant of his wellbeing that he didnt refill his inhaler, patton brushes it off but logan says its a good thing he secretly kept one for patton (bc he almost suspected this might happen)

it rly hits patton when logan tells him if he had needed anymore puffs than he took they wouldve had to phone an ambulance - like patton not wanting to worry his family by admitting his asthma was acting up backfired way more and has made them worry even more because he had a full attack that could have gone so much worse

the whole conversation is VERY stern and serious even at the start when patton smiles and chuckles and jokes and brushes it off logan just gets frustrated and upset. logan is SO angry literally he is glaring at patton when patton brushes it off and makes jokes abt it and he snaps.

logan actually very seriously tells patton this is self harm and patton goes WHAT nonono no its not i dont know why youre getting so worked up

and logan fucking SNAPS like "Youre not giving your body what it needs to survive because you dont think your worth that!! you're neglecting your basic needs to the point of needing urgent medical care, doesnt that sound familiar??? doesnt that sound like something we've both been through before???" clearly referencing his eating disorder

and pattons eyes go wide and he profusely apologises hes like im so sorry oh my gosh logan honey im sorry did i trigger you im sorry and logans just like STOP APOLOGISING this isnt about me its about you!

and he sso angry bc he thought they trusted each other but the fact that patton didnt tell him when he literally couldnt breathe is so scary to logan

but that is basically an argument bc logan was so fucking worried and devastated that patton has ignored his health to such an extent and vee gets nervous bc both her and roman can hear them yelling and she thinks the cgs will breakup bc they "had a fight"

but once theyre finished talking and vee shakily asks if theyre not gonna be a family anymore they'll of course comfort faer and talk abt it, its not a fight its a disagreement and mummys and daddys have those sometimes. theyre still a family and they still love each other very very much. they all soend their family day together as usual, though patton isnt as able to get up and play with roman understandably

also the fact this all comes around the same week patton and logan tell vee that janus wants to babysit, thats why patton has been absent from the blog recently i guess bc hes been keeping busy trying to work through his feelings of janus wanting to come in

hhh yeah... the way it lines up to patton's other insecurities abt janus coming into the family and it all just piles on too much all at once

so on monday morning logan goes with patton to get more inhalers and they actually stay out for while like they go to a forest or smth just to be alone and help patton recenter a little - he's always loved being in nature, it really brings him a lot of peace, being in nature is really the best way to keep patton grounded from his dissociation, thats why hes always gardening

and logan doesnt want to be angry at him and he knows patton needs support and comfort atm even is patton doesnt think he does so they have a calm day just being together and logan trying to remind patton that hes there for him

HHH stop bc they YEAH bc they kinda had a fight even though it did get 'resolved' but they needed to take time to reconnect their energies and like show each other (and specifically logan show patton) that their love is still secure and their friendship is still strong - just the quiet care of logan taking patton somewhere they can just be alone without responsibilities

secretly patton was rlly upset that logan got angry with him but he didnt show it but logan KNOWS him and he knows he needs to fix it with queality time (pats love lang) because pattons been alone a lot recently, its just been that he keeps busy and accidentaly distanced himself bc the others would all be busy and hanging out in some way and he fet a bit abandoned but yeah logan is dedicating the whole day to him

and patton does end up talking abt his inner turmoil a little but not until theyre like in the middle of the forest and hes a lot calmer and theres no one around, he just feels so much calmer and safer in nature to open up like that.

and this is when patton tells logan about his worries about janus becoming closer to vee, and how its lovely for them but what if it hurts vee, what if they dont get along, what if they DO get along and vee wants to move back with janus. Logan doesnt say anything to the worries, he knows patton just needs to blurt them out while he can, while it mixes with the sounds of nature.

then patton mentions quietly that dr picani phoned him a couple weeks ago and told him that he would like to offer patton a trial session of therapy - not with vee, just patton. logan very calmly asks if that sounds like sometnging that might be helpful for patton and patton just giggles nervously "um i dont know. Vee has therapy"

logan frowns. "yes she does. but that doesnt mean you cant have it too, if you would like it"

patton goes quiet and looks anxious, scratching at the moss on the log theyve sat down on. so logan takes his hand and looks very earnestly at him and says gently "i would like you to at least accept the trial session. It is your decision but... i think it might be worth a try"

patton nods a little, just looking at their intertwined fingers. and after a long silence where they can just hear the birds tweeting and the wind rustling the leaves and small animals scurrying along the grass, patton finally looks up at logan and breathes "i'll go to therapy"

and when patton says that out loud suddenly his eyes well up and he sees logan smile at him - a little sad and a lot proud - and feels his hand squeeze and the tears just dont stop coming and he hides his eyes but laughs nervously like haha dont know why im crying this is so silly! but logan doesnt say anything to it, he just pulls patton into his side and rests his head on pattons head...

and patton keeps trying to laugh and joke but its so choked and sad and nervous and wet and logan wraps his other arm around patton too and just grntly whispers "pumpkin, its okay if youre not happy right now."

and patton just starts sobbing into logans shoulder and logan holds him so tight as they sit on the log

patton cant cope with silence when its about him yknow, he couldnt handle logan not laughing or tutting at his jokes so he just kept joking until logan insisted its ok to be sad

so once they get home logan sits with pstton while he phones dr picani and books his first solo therapy session for friday morning

[opheliasbrokenmind]

Hey pal! I've got a request for you :) How about Mahone having a concussion and has to stay in hospital for weeks and company's not happy with this and force him into field again and he gets hurt again bc he can't concentrate and all :') I hope everyhting's alright with you

i just realised how much i’ve missed writing for him <3

‘Has anyone heard from Agent Mahone?’ Wheeler asked the office and you watched the people shaking their heads. It’s been three days since he disappeared and you found yourself at the FBI building, looking for him. ‘Do you know him?’ A woman with a sharp suit appeared in front of you and you frowned, ‘Yes, I do. I thought he could be here since he works late.’

‘And who are you supposed to be?’ She sounded harsh so you didn’t soften your face as you answered, ‘A close friend, and you are?’ You hoped the emphasis on the word would ring a bell and when she replied, you knew she got the message. ‘His colleague.’ You forced a smile and nodded, ‘Nice to meet you, Miss?’

‘Lang.’ She said and walked away, you stood alone and looked at the other man, ‘Thank you for asking people.’ The agent simply nodded and you left the building, thinking of a way to find him. Then your phone started to ring and you picked it immediately, ‘Alex?’

‘Good afternoon, Miss y/n.’ You looked at the screen and read his name again, then you frowned. ‘Who is this? Where’s Alex?’

‘Don’t panic, I’m calling from the Northwestern Memorial Hospital. Mr Mahone had an accident.’ You froze on the street and leaned to a wall, trying to stay calm but your heart was beating madly. ‘Is he alright?’ You managed to say and the woman on the other side sighed, ‘He will be. He was saying your name in his sleep so I thought I could call you.’

‘I’ll be there as soon as possible.’ You said and she ended the call. Your hands were shaking when you finally found a taxi and thanks to the traffic, you were there in twenty minutes. Time seemed to slow down though, every single minute pained you until you walked into the hospital.

‘Hello, can you tell me which room Alexander Mahone is staying?’ The secretary searched his name and turned to you, ‘Are you his wife, Pamela?’ The name pissed you off but you just shook your head, ‘They divorced. I’m his... friend.’ The girl smiled softly, ‘I see. We tried to reach her but she said she wasn’t living here anymore. His room number is 407.’

Once you found the room, a doctor was leaving but you ran after him. ‘Doctor, wait!’ The man turned to you and waited, ‘I’m here for Alex. Can you tell me what happened?’ He nodded, ‘All we know is he had a concussion but we’re not sure what caused it. It can be an accident or a fight, I’m not sure.’

‘What would you say?’ You asked and the man sighed, ‘Considering his line of work, I’d say a fight but that’s just a guess. Mr Mahone is a strong man so he will recover but it’s going to take time. We have to be sure he’s resting and your presence will be helpful.’ You listened carefully and asked once he was done, ‘Is there anything I can do now?’

‘Talk to him. He probably can’t answer but he’ll hear you. Let him know you’re here for him. If anything happens, ask for a nurse.’ Then he left and you stood at the corridor, trying to convince yourself that he’ll heal soon.

You opened the door and the scene in front of you hurt your whole body. The agent was lying unconscious on the bed, there was a bandage around his head and he looked so pale. Then there were cables on his body and machines beeping loudly. You forced yourself to close the door and walk to the armchair next to him before you let a tear fall down. 

It took you a few minutes to gather up, then you reached his hand and it felt cold compared to your warm one. ‘Hi, it’s me, y/n.’ You said and waited for a reaction but he didn’t move a finger so you continued. ‘I called you a few times but you didn’t answer. I thought you were on a mission or maybe you wanted to have some space, that you’d let me know soon. I went to the Bureau today and asked Agent Wheeler but he said nobody heard from you. Then a nurse called me from your phone, said you were saying my name.’

‘You scared me so much, Alex. I’m still afraid, the doctor said you’ll be fine but I just can’t help but fear... Don’t you ever leave me, okay?’ You sighed and played with his fingers, ‘Agent Lang asked me who I was and I told I’m your friend. Well, I think we are more than that, I mean you’re more than a friend to me but I wasn’t sure if you wanted people to know so I didn’t say anything more. I didn’t want to put you in a difficult position.’

‘Oh, I always talk and now I can talk as much as I want but I hate it. I don’t want to talk, I want to hear you talking. I want to see your eyes, the blues filled with energy and watch them.’ Then you didn’t know what to say, it felt like nothing you could say would change the situation so you stayed silent. You watched his chest moving as he breathed and you focused on the fact that he was alive and you were by his side. Otherwise, you knew you wouldn’t hold your tears.

Doctors and nurses came and left, informing you everything looked fine. When it was almost three in the morning, you got up from the armchair and pressed a soft kiss on his cheek, ‘Good night, Alex.’

You woke up at eight and went to grab a cup of coffee, ‘Maybe the smell of coffee can wake you up, huh?’ You smiled to yourself and sipped your drink, admiring him. ‘I realise how beautiful you are now, you know? I wish I could remember every detail of your face. I also feel stupid, because I should’ve told you this earlier. Now I’m not even sure if you can hear me but just know that... you mean a lot to me and I don’t know what I’ll do if anything happens to you.’

Your hand found his fingers once again and you pressed your lips on his hand, ‘I know things with Pam have been hard and I want to be by your side as long as I can.’ He squeezed your hand weakly and your eyes widened with shock, ‘Can you hear me? Wait, I’ll call the nurse.’

‘I swear, he squeezed my hand.’ You explained to the woman and held his hand again, ‘Alex, can you hear me?’ The nurse waited but nothing happened. ‘I don’t want to upset you but that was probably a reflex.’ She gave you a weak smile and left, you sighed and rested on the armchair.

‘I avoided to answer before but yes, I used to play the piano. I wanted to be a pianist but then... I broke my wrist and it still hurts if I push the limits. Then I decided to study Art History and you know I’ll teach at the university next semester.’

‘I like to admire those paintings and they remind me of you. I know you think you’re a bit old for me but... I don’t believe it’s about ages, what’s important is understanding the other person and I’m trying to understand you. Every time I tell you something, I feel like you care about it and I like this about you, so much.’

‘I like hearing your voice.’ He whispered suddenly and you grabbed his hand, intertwinning your fingers, ‘You are awake! Wait, let me call the doctor.’ You tried to get up but he stopped you, ‘y/n, I need to talk to you first.’

‘There are some people and they know what happened to Shales. What I did to him... They want me to catch the Fox River escapees and I’m here because I had a little argument with one of them.’ Your jaw dropped as you listened to him, ‘Are you serious? Do you want me to call the police or the Bureau?’

‘No, they can’t help and if they find out about Shales, they’d send me to prison without blinking an eye.’ He watched you carefully and you sighed, ‘We’ll talk about this later, okay? What matters now is your recovery and I’m going to take the doctor now.’

The same doctor checked him and said everything was normal, ‘You need to rest at least one week to heal, otherwise, it can leave permanent damage. How do you feel now?’ 

‘I don’t feel bad.’ He said and the doctor smiled to you, ‘You see, now you can worry less.’ Then he left the room and you felt your cheeks getting hotter as Alex watched you with a sincere smile on his face. ‘Before you ask, I heard pretty much all of it.’ You turned your head to avoid his gaze but his hand stopped you, cupping your cheek softly. You leaned into his touch and closed your eyes, ‘I meant every word.’

‘I know you did but I’m not sure if that’s the safest way now, y/n. These people are on my back and I have to give them what they want. I don’t want them to know about you, I can’t risk it.’ You moved away and frowned, ‘What are you trying to say?’

‘I need you to stay away from me until this is over.’ You didn’t know what to say for a moment, ‘What? No, Alex, I want to be with you.’

‘I want you, too, love. Just for a while and when it’s over, I won’t repeat my mistakes. We’ll have a life together, alright? I promise.’ A tear dropped on your cheek and you wiped it away, ‘Don’t do this, don’t push me away.’

Later that day, you went home to have a shower and bring him some clothes and when you were back the next morning, the secretary said he checked himself out and left. You tried to reach him but his phone number was invalid. You didn’t know the visit the Company paid to him and what would happen if he continued to stay in the hospital and do nothing.

Six days after that you woke up to the knocking on your door and you weren’t expecting to see him. You stepped back so he could come inside but you noticed how it pained him to move. ‘What happened?’ 

‘I almost had Scofield but then... he ran away and let’s say that didn’t make them happy.’ You watched him sitting on the sofa and taking off his suit jacket. ‘Are they going to attack you every time something goes wrong?’ You helped him to unbutton his shirt as he leaned back, ‘If it’s not me then it’ll be Pam or Cam.’

‘Alex...’ You tried to speak but the words left you, leaving you in pain. Then you noticed the purpleness on his chest and tears escaped from your eyes, crying as you stood on your knees with his shirt in your hands. He grabbed your arms and you saw the muscles on his arms tighten, ‘I will be okay. It was a mistake to come here but... I didn’t want to be alone. I don’t want to be alone.’

You pressed a kiss on his chest and stood up, ‘I’ll draw you a bath right now, is it okay?’ He whispered thank you and you turned back to give him a kiss on the lips, ‘Then we will have dinner and you’ll get a good sleep.’ Once his body was relaxed and his stomach was full, he let you tuck him in a blanket and you two cuddled until one of you fell asleep. That night, he realised even at the worst times, there was something beautiful and unique.

[rivalsforlife]

i'm holding myself back from asking commentary on almost every scene from the catch up game bc i love so much how you wrote phoenix in that fic!! that said, could u do commentary on the last 2 scenes from the first chapter (party + gumshoe), if that's not too long or on parts of it if it's too much?

Sure thing!! The scenes on their own are already over 2000 words so I’ll put them under a keep reading for everyone’s peace of mind.

Alright let’s start then...

The bachelor party was beyond Phoenix’s expectations. He’d been expecting Edgeworth to be much stingier with the spending, considering his general attitude towards Gumshoe’s salary. But he’d agreed to rent the bar out and pay for one drink for everyone, plus transportation home for those who couldn’t do it themselves. Phoenix… was surprised, actually. He’d known for a long time now that Edgeworth appreciated Gumshoe much more than he let anyone know about, but it was still surprising to see in action.

this paragraph brought to you by My AAI2 Feelings, particularly the parts where Gumshoe really does come through in the investigations, so much that Miles actually gives him a salary raise at the end... it did a great job developing their friendship, I loved it a lot.

(Also I headcanon that after aai2 but possibly before that... every “I’m going to cut your salary!!” that Miles says does not actually result in a salary cut. poor gumshoe can barely feed himself as it is. but Miles can’t be, like... Nice about it so he’s just going to pretend. Gumshoe understands. it’s like an inside joke now.)

And honestly figuring out this whole party scene was such a pain. I still feel like it could be better but I’m not sure how? I just had the goal of “get someone to let it slip that Miles is in love with Phoenix” but then there was the issue of a) who knew Miles well enough to know this, and b) who knew Phoenix well enough to talk about it, and c) what circumstances would let them slip up and say it. The answer was Gumshoe because he can’t resist leaking information to the defense... even when it’s information about his boss’s personal life. oops.

Athena dropped by for a movie night, since Pearls was too young to attend. Phoenix wasn’t worried about them; he was sure they wouldn’t get into any more trouble than he and Maya could at the party.

OOF AWKWARD PARAGRAPH this is a remnant from when I shifted a lot of scenes around in this chapter. I thought it would be cute if Athena and Pearl were friends. And I think there was more to this but then it was distracting from the overall topic so I cut it out... resulting in this.

“Pals!” a familiar voice boomed at the entrance to the bar, and Phoenix soon found himself and Maya swept up in a bone-crushing hug. “I’m so glad you both could make it!”

“Gumshoe!” Maya returned the hug enthusiastically. “It’s been forever, man!”

“Sure has!” Gumshoe released them, allowing Phoenix the opportunity to wheeze and clutch at his ribs, while Gumshoe ruffled Maya’s hair. “Been keeping yourself out of trouble?”

“You know it!”

“Uh, I had several sleepless nights last year suggesting otherwise,” said Phoenix.

“Shut it, Nick.” Maya elbowed him, not helping with the situation with his ribs, and beamed.

a little bit of banter that really just serves as a transition thing. most of the party is actually both “transition scene to indicate that the party did, in fact, happen before I get to the important stuff” and “introduce some important character stuff while I have time to fill”. 

and of course these sleepless nights are in reference to pretty much the whole plot of SOJ... 

One last note that I think Gumshoe probably gives great hugs, if you can survive your ribs potentially being crushed in the process. he doesn’t mean anything by it. he’s big and strong and likes hugs so much he forgets how big and strong he is.

... ps I love Gumshoe

“But congrats, Gumshoe! Seems like just last decade Nick and I were wandering around trying to pass your lunches over to Maggey.”

“God, it’s been that long, hasn’t it?” Phoenix reminisced. It was odd, thinking back on cases he took before he was disbarred, before he became a father to a daughter who wasn’t even with him today.

Gumshoe chuckled. “Guess so, pals. You two’ve really been there since the beginning, huh? Maggey and I wouldn’t be here today without you.”

Phoenix smiled. “Aww, Gumshoe…”

“And that’s why I get to be maid of honor, huh?” asked Maya with a sly grin.

“Maid of honor?!” Phoenix looked to Gumshoe, who didn’t object, before rounding back on his best friend. “You didn’t tell me that!”

“You didn’t ask!” Maya sighed. “If it weren’t for me eating Gumshoe’s beloved bento box in front of Maggey, who knows if we’d be here today?”

“I don’t think that was a deciding factor at any point…”

Gumshoe clapped Phoenix on the shoulder. “Sorry, pal. Would’ve made you the best man, but, y’know… Mr. Edgeworth.”

“Yeah, of course, no hard feelings, pal.”

“What’d I tell you about stealing my trademark, huh, pal?” Gumshoe laughed before stepping back into the bar. “C’mon in, you two.”

REALLY just more awkward transition scenes haha. Maya is the maid of honor in this fic mostly because I went to Maggey’s profile page and she was the only woman listed under the “friends” list... and we don’t know much about Maggey’s personal life. plus more “Miles and Gumshoe friendship” agenda pushing in here!

There were more people there than Phoenix was expecting, and many of them he hadn’t met. Edgeworth had mentioned that he would let Gumshoe select the guest list, but he’d kind of expected this to be people the two of them knew. Or, at least, that Phoenix knew — Edgeworth seemed to recognize more, which was rare, and was currently speaking with someone Phoenix vaguely recognized as an Interpol agent he’d worked with on a few cases back when Phoenix would help him out in Europe.

Ema ran up to them and made small talk before she and Maya got caught up in discussion about some show Phoenix had never heard of, so he wandered off to find someone else to talk with.

And there was… no one, really. Gumshoe and Edgeworth were talking with strangers, and Phoenix didn’t want to butt in on that conversation — he thought he saw Larry lurking about but couldn’t find him right now — and anyone else Phoenix recognized he either hadn’t talked to in years or was sure didn’t recognize him.

Phoenix hadn’t realized just how much his disbarment affected him, in these little ways. He looked out over the crowd of people Gumshoe or Edgeworth spoke to and had no idea who they were. It had been eight years out of touch with the rest of the legal world — eight years to fall behind.

It was… oddly lonely. Eventually it was just Phoenix standing there at the bar with a glass of grape juice in his hand. He was beginning to wish he’d ordered some more euphemistic “grape juice” instead.

You know that feeling when you go to a party and your one (1) friend leaves you and then you have no one to talk to and don’t know what to do -- maybe? That’s kind of the thing. slight Lang cameo in there.

ORIGINALLY Ema and Maya were going to talk about Lana and Mia and kind of hint at some Lanamia stuff in there, but then I thought about it and really why would Phoenix pass up an opportunity to gossip about his boss’s past relationships. 

And this also tries to kind of go for one of the general... “themes” of the fic? More of an exploration into Phoenix’s loneliness/how he copes with not having people around him. RFTA and JFA in particular kind of really entrenched that he Does Not Do Well without people to take care of -- which comes up a lot during this fic. And part of getting to explore those issues is essentially me trying to make Phoenix as alone as possible. ... sorry Phoenix! 

Also in here is a lot of “disbarment should have messed up Phoenix more than DD and SOJ would lead you to believe” -- he essentially spent seven years completely disgraced, it’s unlikely he made a lot of notable legal connections, aside from maybe Miles and Miles’ social circle. He probably missed out on a lot.

The last paragraph there is just referencing the “grape juice” thing - I do believe it is literal grape juice and not an alcohol euphemism, and I believe it was also literal grape juice in the original, so that’s what it ends up being.

“Hey, Niiiick…”

… But Phoenix supposed that just when you’re feeling down, the Butz arrives to drag you down further. “Hey there, Larry.”

Larry slumped against the bar beside him with a sigh, a glass of what definitely wasn’t grape juice in his hand. “Y’know Franzy didn’t even show up to this?”

“I’m not surprised. Being whipped half to death during your own bachelor party isn’t anyone’s idea of a good time, y’know?” In truth, he knew Franziska couldn’t make it down until just a few days before the wedding because of work — or so Edgeworth had told him — though he couldn’t help but wonder if Gumshoe was grateful for it.

Larry muttered something under his breath that sounded like it might’ve been contradicting Phoenix’s last statement, which Phoenix decided he was certainly not going to press further on, before Larry cleared his throat and continued. “But why’re you out here by yourself, Nick? Maya ditched you?”

“No, not at all,” Phoenix lied. “Just… taking in the scenery.”

“... Huh. Never took you for the wallflower type.” Larry frowned. “I mean, we did use to spend school dances in the corner by ourselves… guess some things never change.”

“Please don’t remind me of middle school ever again.”

“I’ll drink to that,” said Larry, who then did. “But I get it, dude. I was kinda hoping for some more excitement here… more ladies…”

“Don’t worry Larry, I’m sure you’ll find someone else to pester tonight,” Phoenix commented dryly.

... enter Larry Butz.

I really did try to explore the relationships of all the important people in Phoenix’s life... Larry though is so insufferable in canon I didn’t really have the heart to fit him in, so he falls out. (Apollo also doesn’t show up much, aside from the bit in chapter 5, that’s because he’s in a different country and I couldn’t come up with much of a role for him.)

And I also do believe that Larry and Phoenix were super unpopular in school. Larry was... Larry, and Phoenix was probably very sensitive up until the Dahlia Incident, and together they had enough unlikable traits that anyone who could spend time with one wouldn’t want to hang out with the other, but the two of them were loyal to each other. It’s my headcanon that Phoenix’s only real close friends throughout his childhood were Larry and Miles, which is part of why he got so attached to Miles to change his career for him.

“Yeah.” Larry’s eyes scanned the crowd before landing on a woman with dark hair in a high ponytail, and his face brightened. Phoenix cringed preemptively.

“Little miss Kay!” Larry called out, as the woman looked their way. “Looking as cute as ever! And more grown up, too…”

Phoenix tensed, suddenly feeling the wrath of hell creeping up behind them.

“Larry Butz,” a deadly voice boomed, “if you go anywhere near her, I will sue you for everything you are worth, little though it may be.”

Larry jumped and spilled half his drink over his jacket. “Geez, Edgey,” he grumbled, scuttling off to find a napkin. Phoenix, hoping it was safe now with the target gone, turned back around to meet the glare of his other childhood friend. “Hey, Edgeworth.”

Larry being gross but more importantly: me pushing the Dadworth agenda! 

“You didn’t have to do that, Mr. Edgeworth,” said the woman with a laugh. “I’m an adult. I know how to effectively break someone’s kneecaps if they bug me.”

Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. “Though I don’t necessarily disapprove, do we need to talk about avoiding criminal records again, young lady?”

“Sheesh, you’re still treating me like a kid,” she huffed, before noticing Phoenix and extending a hand. “Sorry about that! Kay Faraday. I’m Mr. Edgeworth’s assistant.”

Edgeworth gave an exasperated sigh, though Phoenix could detect a note of fondness to it. “You haven’t been my assistant for over ten years, Kay.”

“So you finally admit I was your assistant at some point!”

“Ngrk…”

Phoenix laughed and took her hand. “Pleased to meet you. I’m Phoenix Wright, attorney at law.”

Kay grinned. “Oh, I know! Gummy debriefed me on you, Mr. That Man.”

“Kay,” Edgeworth warned.

“Plus I kept up with the news,” Kay continued, before Phoenix could say anything. “I’m a big fan of your work! Anyone who can take Mr. High-and-Mighty over there down a notch or two is a hero in my book.”

“Ha, I appreciate that.” Usually the first thing people said to Phoenix after saying they saw him on the news was much more negative.

I really still can’t believe Kay would be 27 here. that’s just so weird. she’s permanently seventeen in my mind. --- said by miles, probably

Even though this was supposed to be a fic about Phoenix’s important canon relationships Kay just wormed her way in here. I love her so I didn’t make any particular effort to take her out of this. Plus it gives me the opportunity to write my favourite things: Dadworth, and also Kay bullying Miles.

And yeah the part about people seeing Phoenix on the news is a reference to disbarment... can’t imagine anyone would have had anything particularly nice to say to him, especially those first few years.

“Kay has been assisting some of the prosecutors and myself through some tricky crime scenes lately,” Edgeworth informed him.

“Technically I’m a P.I., but Mr. Edgeworth said they’re really short-staffed these days, so I thought I’d lend him a hand,” Kay elaborated.

“Oh, so I might be running into you at the crime scene someday.”

“Probably!” She grinned. “Though I’m not gonna go easy on you just ‘cause Mr. Edgeworth likes you.”

“Kay.”

“Oh is that Ema over there?” Kay said loudly. “I’ve gotta run, see you around!”

She dashed off. Edgeworth sighed.

At first I made Kay just a straightforward detective, but I changed it pretty last minute. I feel like she’d want to do her own thing, plus this way she can assist from the outside when dealing with Dark Age of the Law Corruption-type stuff. Miles hires her because canon says he was left pretty short-staffed in SOJ. I’m not... totally sure what the laws are regarding private investigators working with police, but this is a fictional universe with fictional laws so I will do what I want.

Aside from that... more Kay making fun of Miles.

“She seems energetic,” Phoenix commented.

“Indeed she is.”

“... Why did she call me ‘Mr. That Man’?”

Edgeworth coughed. “I’ve not the slightest idea,” he said, turning his head to the side. “That aside, this whole affair is going much smoother than I expected, aside from that slight mishap.”

“Yeah, murder’s not really the best way to kick off a bachelor party, huh? Even if it is Larry. But I think we did alright.”

“Indeed.”

As if on cue, a loud cheer rose up from the crowd at the far corner of the bar.

“... Do you smell something?” Phoenix asked, and true to form, the swaying form of Larry crawled on top of a table.

People making fun of That Man is one of my favourite tropes regarding the AAI characters.

I don’t actually know how bachelor parties work, but if anyone can make them into an overly dramatized super wild party... it’s Larry.

Edgeworth groaned and began to storm off, but Phoenix grabbed him by the hand to hold him back. “Edgeworth, it’s a party, let them have their fun.”

“I… suppose so,” Edgeworth relented, but his hand was still tense in Phoenix’s.

Phoenix released him. “C’mon, we can chaperone from a safe distance.”

Edgeworth nodded wordlessly, but Phoenix could sense that same feeling of unease from him again. He opened his mouth to ask about it but a loud shout took up his attention — this was something that could be dealt with later, he thought, as he and Edgeworth rushed over to the scene.

Miles internal monologue: Wright is holding my hand. Wright is holding my hand. Wright is holding my hand writgh is holding my hand wright is holdin g my ha--

Phoenix: uh. edgeworth?

So in this fic... Miles is gradually working up the courage to confess to Phoenix. He finally worked out his own feelings at some point prior to this fic starting but can’t quite admit them yet, so every time Phoenix does anything that can be remotely construed as romantic he just goes “!!!” and it’s probably all he can think about for a week. Poor guy! I’m sure that when he finally confesses all will be well.

Hours later, as the party wound down and various taxis came to take people home, Phoenix found himself crowded in a booth with a tipsy Maya and a drunk, gushing Gumshoe.

“... and I know she’s gonna just be so beautiful, pals, and what if it’s too much?” Gumshoe asked, lying sideways against the table. “What if they don’t let me see her and then the day of the wedding I look’t her and… I die?”

“People have gotten married without dying, Gumshoe,” Phoenix consoled him.

“But they don’t marry Maggey, pal…”

Maya snorted. “With her luck, I wouldn’t be surprised if something like that happened.”

“Hey, don’t tell him that!” Phoenix hissed.

really this wedding should have had way more disaster than I wrote about... probably at least one murder.

“No, no, don’t mention her luck, she’s already so worried,” said Gumshoe. “We’ve checked off every good-luck wedding charm in th’ book… but she still thinks somethin’s gonna go wrong. I love her, I really, really love her, pals…” A far off look crossed his face, and Phoenix wondered if anyone would ever speak of him like that, “... but she worries so much…”

“What’s she worried about?” Maya asked, slumping over against Phoenix’s shoulder.

“Ceremony, reception, if people’re gonna show up, if we’re gonna lose somethin’ important… even ‘s far as the bouquet toss. I told her, if you’re not sure, just toss it in th’ direction of you,” he pointed at Phoenix, “or at Mr. Edgeworth, and maybe it’ll work.”

Phoenix frowned. “Why me?”

Gumshoe let out a burst of hearty laughter. “I’m thinkin’ if you or Mr. Edgeworth catches it, it’ll give ‘im the courage to finally ask you out, pal.”

Maya shot straight up. Phoenix froze. “... What?”

probably not the smoothest way to get to the entire reason why this bachelor party exists, BUT. 

Also it’s implied that Miles DID actually talk to Gumshoe about this at some point. probably Gumshoe caught him pining at a bad time haha.

“Y’know the old tradition, whoever catches it is the next to get married and all…” Gumshoe stared at them for a moment, before his eyes widened and a look of absolute horror crossed his face. “O-Oh! Crap! Pal!”

“Edgeworth wants to ask Nick out?!” Maya shrieked.

“FINALLY! IT’S ABOUT FREAKING TIME!”

originally Gumshoe used a much stronger word than “crap” but idk Gummy doesn’t seem like the type to curse much...? Maybe it’s a stretch haha. also “pal” as an exclamation is my favourite little Gumshoe speech tic

“Shh, shh!” Gumshoe reached over to clamp a hand over her mouth but fell, collapsing on the table. “You heard nothin’ from me, pals, got it? Mr. Edgeworth’s gonna kill me if he finds out… worse, stop funding the wedding…”

Death is one thing but the WEDDING...

And I can’t remember if I mentioned at any point that Miles was also funding the wedding haha but it’s probably also something he wouldn’t want to tell anyone. Gumshoe with his perpetually terrible salary (which is also Miles’ fault) plus Maggey with her inability to hold down a job before being fired in a murder-related incident probably means they don’t have a lot for a nice wedding so Miles offered. secretly and evasively. because he’s a nice person but also doesn’t want anyone to know that.

Maya stared at Phoenix, her mouth agape, as Gumshoe continued mumbling to himself under his breath about the various consequences of Edgeworth’s hypothetical wrath. Phoenix, meanwhile, felt like his brain had short-circuited.

That wasn’t possible. He must have heard Gumshoe wrong. Edgeworth didn’t think of him that way. Edgeworth didn’t think about anyone that way, Phoenix had thought, for the longest time.

Little do you know, Phoenix! 

Touching on the aroace Miles headcanon here because it’s a very valid interpretation of his actions even if it’s not my own...

… Even if Edgeworth had been acting strange lately, even if something in his expression softened when he looked at Phoenix, even if…

No. Phoenix quickly shoved that thought to the back of his mind. There were many things he knew about Edgeworth, and one of those was that Edgeworth saw him as a part-time friend and part-time annoyance, but never a romantic interest of any kind. The thought of it was just… just unbelievable.

Phoenix craned his head around, catching sight of a familiar pink jacket across the room and watched Edgeworth in the middle of some phone call. He would know if Edgeworth was interested in him that way… wouldn’t he?

At first “the back of his mind” was “the overflowing mental trunk of repression” but that seemed a little too on the nose. Just know that’s essentially what he’s doing.

Another thing I wanted to establish throughout the fic was how close Phoenix and Miles are now -- they essentially know each other really well. And thinking about that part in Turnabout Goodbyes where Phoenix declares that “I’m the only one who knows the real Edgeworth”, I kind of interpreted that Phoenix Knowing Things About Edgeworth is an important part of their relationship to him. And the occasions where Miles did surprise him (with some aspect of his personality) weren’t always very good things... realizing he’d turned into a “demon prosecutor”, then the “choosing death” part... it’s a lot of my headcanons running away from me haha. Basically in this fic, Phoenix thinks he knows Edgeworth so well because he’s so close with him so an indication that there’s something about Edgeworth he doesn’t know or has completely wrong kind of... connects to him /not/ being as close to Edgeworth as he thinks he is? Maybe? And being close to him is something very important to Phoenix.

(This is not my personal opinion though haha, people can and will surprise you no matter how well you know them... but this fic is Phoenix’s Relationship Issues: The Fic, so.)

And no one else has mentioned the scenes where it comes up yet so I’ll talk about it here -- a lot of my editing process involved going through the fic and cutting out every instance of Phoenix either talking about him hypothetically being in love with Miles, or of Miles being in love with him. I just ctrl+f “love” and cut out whatever fit the criteria. Phoenix’s interpretation of Miles’ actions up until the end of chapter 5 isn’t exactly that Miles is Capital-L In Love with him, more that it’s like... a little crush? Mayyybe some physical attraction. Misconstrued admiration. Not anything so severe that Miles would willingly initiate a conversation about Feelings. so “He would know if Edgeworth was in love with him” changed to “He would know if Edgeworth was interested in him that way” because part of Phoenix’s issue here is that he can’t actually directly acknowledge the possibility that he’s in love with Miles or that Miles is in love with him. It’s a whole complicated thing I’ll probably talk about in the next commentary I do?

This got long but there’s the end of the chapter! I’ll answer more later...? These take up a lot of time haha.

[syncogon]

sad only 480p version this time, and delayed. oh well, temptation too strong, and clips on the weibo looked promising, so let’s go

mjy sighhh i guess he’s just dumb not malicious but man

“the truth isn’t important” glasses shing. oh wow that hair swish tho that was like unnecessarily well animated hahaha

iiiii just want jhx to tell off yy!! i think that’d be great, what a faceslap! also wtf is this thing? iron supplements?? a spray? icy-hot? 铁打损伤喷雾?? god i spent like five minutes trying to mouse-trace those characters and i still don’t know if this is supposed to be significant or if it’s just significant that jhx caught yy doing shady shit 

anyway given music / context it seems jhx is annoyed at what yy is doing? so yay friggin finally. “our classes aren’t at nanhua” nice 

“xu-da” vs “xu-ge” hmm. anyway jhx don’t fall for the lies. jhx is like sx, annoying and chuuni but probably isn’t as obnoxiously awful as he first appears... probably.... maybe. 

goddd sucks that the full version of this op is kinda weird, because i LOVE this op so much like holy crap. jiyi bei yingfu huanxing.... 

man now im like stressed about the yf at the airport scene. trailer showed an airport. what’s gonna happennn

this exchange about dd feels so weird like it sounds like ctg is trying to explain they’re not in any pre-relationship or smth but maggie is like “i don’t mind” in a way that makes it sound like she wouldn’t mind if they’re together? what??? but whatever

ok i really enjoy this cr/yf dynamic. like i feel like it’s a bit ooc and yf as portrayed here is maybe too far on the acquiescence but also it’s really funny and sparks joy for me so i’ll buy it. i’m happy to see like established relationship stuff i think bc i generally don’t in the stuff i watch. speaking of which i’m super glad that they didn’t make the awful dumb move of trying to insert like Another wack love triangle drama dynamic thing in this like the fans want yecong and tianmai!!

wowwww it’s so nice how supportive cr is being tho like i love to see it!

handholding!! soft!! nice inversion of the earlier part where cr is bandaging his fingers. but like -

WHY DOES SHE HAVE MARKS/CALLUSES ON HER THUMB AND NOT HER PINKY??? like ok i have not played ukelele but i sure have my own share of stringed instrument finger calluses and you don’t?? press on the string with your thumb???

still, they’re trying, it’s a cute detail, i appreciate it. i liked that one wwgk review i watched yesterday that pointed out s1 was like a coming of age story disguised as a music story, whereas s2 is like a real music story.... 

wait this is incredibly cute wtf. oh my god. 

YF SIGHED/FACEPALMED AT THAT? COME ON!! WTF THAT’S SO RUDE? THAT WAS ACTUALLY LIKE PRETTY GOOD?? AND SHE DID THIS JUST FOR YOU? like maybe not performance ready but bro she’s learned for two days!! also holy shit the strumming animation is really good for smth like this im impressed! that reminds me of the like actually legit violin animation they showed in the trailer yo im so ready 

like i totally understand the frustration (damn, maggie’s face... 3 free performances? really?) but also i feel SO BAD FOR CR HERE this is so awkward oh my godddd at least ctg like tries to apologize to her (and cr’s reaction to this whole thing is also v solid, good for her) but still like damn 

aww ahh man im glad maggie still like! supports encourages cr here! that’s also char dev being able to like get past her own complicated emotions at least for this sort of gesture 

awwww i also like seeing maggie’s coping, the happiness philosophy i always thought that was super interesting. she’s a great char! and i think running is good

animators animate a girl running normally challenge

oh nice you have to walk a bit after sprinting, good

the train track scenes are so pretty wahhh 

does... does the track just end there? what

the ~significance~ of maggie now sharing this piece of her that used to be a yf thing, with ctg 

also excellent bgm - oh omg it’s og soul link remix!!! 

“i don’t want you to go” 

MY GOD HE’S FINALLY MAKING A REAL MOVE. and one based in real friendship. GOD FUCKING FINALLY CTG AAAAAA she’s cryyying man this exchange is also pretty cute ngl 

i can’t believe they figured this out a full 4 episodes before the finale 

this is so pretty here wahhhhhh i wanna ss the whole thing in 1080p 

awhhhhhh

they never released pink twilight shanghai!! i want this ver!!! 

aww yayyy open still cheering her on - YF BE NICE TO YOUR GF COME ON

haha this is like reverse of cr tutoring him - WAIT YEAH YF YOU WERE A SHITTY ASS STUDENT COMPARED TO HER BE EXTRA NICE 

also remixed dream i dig it! sounds like new lyrics? 

julliard hahahaha

dong dong goddess

HAHAHA did dd just steal ctg’s fries

ctg: expressing some deep thoughts

me: just watching dd

“forever confident, forever happy” 

wait sooooooo are they a thing now or what did that count as a confession

“and qing’er is finally here” WHAT’S THE TEAAAAA WE STILL DON’T REALLY KNOW

“im a guitarist this is fine” YOU GO DD I LOVE YOU 

BEACH EPISODE BEACH EPISODE BEACH EPISODE 

omg oyzq. you’d think they were trying to extort a confession from him. what the hell is this instrument he said what is a xiao 箫. A WOODEN FLUTE? YOOO THAT’S COOL my god PLEASE let us get some kickass trad/modern fusion music im so ready 

“i trust ouyang” ahhh double char surnames are cool

HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK

“because i’m about to have surgery on my knee” REALLY? REALLY? IS THIS REALLY HOW YOU’RE GOING TO JUSTIFY ALL THIS? FOLKS I AM LOSING MY SHIT I HAVEN’T LAUGHED OUT LOUD LIKE THIS IN SO LONG

ok this is interesting tho he’s not a dick for the hell of it it’s out of desperation or smth. but like half a year, oh no, what a horror. (i’m fresh out of hb feels ok you shaddap // tho i can also imagine the knife, like in lotus bloom, where they didn’t think szp’s injury was permanent). tho i do also like the “then we’ll be seniors we won’t have time to perform” but also that’s just a reminder that all of these ppl are like frigging 16 year olds and i still cannot take this seriously

i like “i didn’t expect, that i couldn’t give you the confidence to win”. god im so glad this confrontation is happening. man this feels like a wrap up already are they really spending all 3 last episodes on the competition? what’s the story gonna be? 

feel like he’d be less ugly with hairstyle that looked more consistently like this. anyway sucks that both of them are so ugly otherwise there’s some nice sun/moon (+stars?) imagery you can get going here

GROUP CHAT GROUP CHAT GROUP CHAT 

pretty! i wanna save this hq

it’s this bgm!!! godd i just want this track so bad

an empty beach?? in china near shanghai??? 

anyway ahhh it’s the iconic beach shot! i like how the promo ver cuts out dd lmfao

wow nine episodes in and cookie finally gets a character moment??? cookieeeeeeee i missed you

ok i can’t ship them he calls her shifu but also THIS IS SUCH A CUTE FRIENDSHIP calling every day 10 minutes?? wow!! i love dongdong and i love cookie. also this hits different in covid times “no one says that we can’t be friends because of distance” 

oh i guess they are pushing this as a ship. meh.

wahhhhh. need this hq then i have more propic material. 

HE HAS COVID 

ah lang is VIBING oh to be the ah lang of my own life. parasurfing. walking into poles. 

wow this is so modern! the red bag thing! wow i do love this show flexing the modern-ness 

this is the mercedes benz arena im SURE of it ahhhh holy crap this crowd. oh to be in a crowd without mask

IT’S THIS DUDE AGAIN like the trailer spoiled this but if i found out this right here right now i would’ve lost my shit my god hahhaah

im like torn about how i feel about cr’s dress like idk if it fits her well even if it’s pretty

:<

oh im scared i hope this doesn’t become embarrassing 

:0

OMG THEY INCLUDED PENCIL SKETCH OF THAT S1 SCENE. HAHAHA. char growth yayyyyy

ok anyway im happy!! spent like an hour watching this or something lmao but good times!! much better than last ep HAHA yayyy im so glad we’re finally at the comp and lots of these little things have been tied up now im ready for new song drops!!!

[jjoelswatch]

Avengers: Endgame spoilers under the cut.

I’ll start this by saying that the movie is about a 8.5 or 9 out of 10 for me, personally, and only one thing really hit it down from being a 10/10. I got in to Marvel about nine or ten years ago, and the first Avengers movie really lured me in for life. I’ve met so many friends through these characters. These characters all mean so much to me because the early parts of this decade were probably my hardest (I hope) in dealing with depression and anxiety, and watching and reading and writing through these various characters’ struggles and victories made my own struggles more bearable. And while I know Marvel movies aren’t ending, for the majority of the characters I’ve come to know and love, their stories on film have come to an end. It’s difficult to not be emotional over it or feel passionate one way or another in how their stories have come to a close. Mostly, I’m just really grateful that someone convinced me to watch Iron Man all those years ago, because I think my life and the people I know and care about would all be very, very different.

With all that being said, here are my not-very-sorted thoughts after two viewings of the film.

What I liked:

That cold open. Man. Chilling.

Nebula and Tony playing that little game in the ship. It showcased really well Tony’s parental aspects and also something Nebula desperately needed (no manipulations, no tricks, just bonding time). I wish we got to see more of those two. 

Movie luring you into a false sense of security with Tony and Steve seemingly making amends right after his rescue but then Tony has that mental breakdown and lashes out at Steve. That was raw and painful and so, so good. A quality scene tbh.

Steve leading a survivor’s therapy group. Really trying to live on in Sam’s spirit, I feel.

Steve offering to cook for Natasha.

Scott Lang arriving at the New Avengers compound.

The small, human interactions with Natasha. The scene where she, Tony, and Bruce are lounging around brainstorming and she's like, "if we pick the right time, there's three stones on Earth" and the two smartest Avengers are like :0 whoa she’s right.

On that note, we get to see a vulnerability to Natasha that hasn’t been explored too much. She cries. We learn something about her on Vormir ("Natasha, daughter of Ivan", and then going on to reveal that she never knew her father). We haven't gotten this much personal exploration of her character since Winter Soldier and it was great.

Hulk offering one of his tacos to Scott after he lost his. It was just a small sweet moment.

Testing out time travel. Steve’s deadpan “that’s a baby” really got me.

TIME TRAVEL! When it jumps to that huge ass 2012 text logo my heart of soaring.

Was not expecting that Rumlow and Pierce cameo! That was wild to witness especially because Avengers and Winter Soldier are two very tonally different movies. We get to see the aftermath of Avengers in small, cool ways and it really serves to fill in the gaps. Bonus points for Tony tug-of-warring over the Tesseract with Pierce that was hilarious and reminded me a lot of his demeanor during Iron Man 2 during his hearing with Senator Stern (“You want my property? You can’t have it.”)

Loki mocking Steve and prompting Thor to put the muzzle on him was A+

The nod to the elevator scene (the elevator noise is the exact same as the elevator noise in Winter Soldier; I know this bc I’ve seen the movie 15 times and I’m basically Pavlov’s Dog for CA:TWS). The “hail hydra” moment was awesome, and Steve leaving the elevator with that smirk was so satisfying, but I have questions about that timeline*.

Cap v. Cap. “I can do this all day.”  “--I know!”

“America’s ass”. The Avengers just all 100% being on board to Hit That is the team solidarity we need in these dark times.

The sense of utter dread I felt when past!Thanos caught on to their plan. I’ve never felt dread that way before in a movie, maybe not even with Infinity War.

I really wasn’t expecting Natasha’s death. I love/hate how you know from the moment that Natasha and Clint are going to retrieve the soul stone that one of them isn’t making it back. It’s a weird feeling; I’ve felt the feeling of the audience knowing something the characters don’t before, but never quite like this. Clint and Natasha’s struggle over who was to be sacrificed was painful and emotional. It’s also a really good contrast to the scene with Thanos and Gamora in Infinity War. Clint and Natasha’s struggle was truly born out of love (and how cool is it that we got to see the power of the love of friendship so blatantly and barbarically put on show?; “I owe him a debt.”). I really thought Clint was going to die, but was surprised when it was Natasha. Her death is really painful for me and I wish there was a way she didn’t have to die, but she laid down her life for everyone else’s; it’s an honorable death.** 

The brief moment post-Hulk!snap. The birds singing. Clint’s wife calling him. It brought a tear to my eye.

Thor, Steve, and Tony all standing together again after four years of being apart or, in some cases, resenting one another. I felt whole again. All of them being in agreement that as long as Thanos is alone, they’re all down to kill him. Thor’s eyes lighting up. The three of them walking towards Thanos. They mean business. What a great moment.

Every time Steve’s shield broke apart piece by piece my anxiety increased by 100%. War flashbacks to Tony’s vision from Age of Ultron; the shield was literally broken apart the exact same way.

That shot of Steve being the last man standing against Thanos and his army was beautiful. I want that as a poster.

I’ve never cried tears of relief the way I did than in the moment I heard Sam’s voice and the portals started opening up. I was 100% sure Steve was going to die just before that and I WAS SPARED. The hope/relief I felt in that moment made me cry so much, and I don’t think that’s something I’ve ever experienced before in any form of media, so that’s a unique experience that’s pretty awesome.

THAT. BATTLE.

"Avengers... assemble." Steve Rogers marry me.

STEVE WIELDING THE HAMMER. Thor: I knew it! Me: bitch me too!

Seeing all those badass Marvel women fall in formation with Carol was awesome, though it hurt a lot to not see Natasha among them. She was the first of all of them (the first we were introduced to, at least).

Valkyrie’s Pegasus!

WANDA! “I don’t even know who you are.”  “You will.”  And then Thanos telling his army to rain fire because he literally can’t fend off Wanda. Amazing.

Nebula’s story arc was really well done.

“I am inevitable.” [empty metal snap] "And I...am...Iron Man."

I sincerely was not expecting to be as affected by Tony’s death as I was. I still very much so like Tony, but everyone and their mom knows that I reside very happily in Cap’s camp. But holy shit. I was not expecting for Tony to wield the gauntlet, but that’s an amazing moment from the comic books brought to film and I’m so glad they did. The aftermath was horrifically sad, watching Rhodey, Peter, and Pepper gather round him, plus the other Avengers-- Pepper telling him he can rest now and the camera just lingers on his face. I was trying not to hyperventilate cry in the theater the first time, and still cried like a baby the second time. Iron Man was the first Marvel movie I ever saw and the first Avenger I was really a diehard fan of. Tony Stark wielded the infinity gauntlet and saved everyone. From Infinity War; “I hope they remember you.” They will.

Watching Thanos get dusted was so satisfying.

Everyone gathered at Tony’s funeral.

Sam!Cap

The cast roll with the signatures of the main cast touched me quite a bit. Also it’s kind of a nice send off because it literally feels like they’re signing off on their ending contracts.

Literally so much else, but these are what stood out the most to me.

What I didn’t like:

They didn't have to do that to Thor. Does it make sense that Thor would spiral into an alcoholic depression? Yes, absolutely. Did he have to be the butt of every joke because of it? No, not at all. At times he felt like he was plucked out of an SNL skit. I just wished they would have handled that better instead of having him serve as a comic relief device so that the first hour of the film isn't too depressing. Like, how do you go from Thor’s entrance into Wakanda in Infinity War to...Endgame!Thor? It was easier to watch the second time around, but regardless, I wish there were just less jokes about him.

What was the point of Ronin? We got five minutes of seeing him in the Ronin suit and doing Ronin things for what purpose? I get that he’s suffering with the loss of his family and it’s meant to illustrate how much he’s been damaged by it, but it kind of seemed pointless overall. Otherwise no complaints about Clint.***

Rhodey taking care of Morgan Stark at the end of Tony’s funeral instead of Happy would have been a nice touch. I’m not very bothered by this one tbh, I’m cool with it, but that’s his best friend.

Steve going back in time to be with Peggy. I really don’t like it. It felt like such obvious fanservice to Steve/Peggy fans and it’s just like...let Peggy go. On second viewing it does seem like Bucky knows from the very start what Steve might do, or that they even discussed it beforehand, but I also feel like Bucky would have told him to not be a damn idiot and come back to them. He also literally bounces right after his friend’s funeral, after a conversation about how Hulk really misses Natasha/how he tried to bring her back with the snap, to which Steve says “I do too/I know”...then....peaces out. Also, I’m not going to sit here and say that Age of Ultron did too much for Steve’s character, but we danced this dance before and learned that it’s the Avengers that are Steve’s family and future. And it’s not just in Age of Ultron that this is hammered home; the conflict in Civil War works because the Avengers are his family. Saving Bucky at the expense of losing his found family wouldn’t matter if this wasn’t the case. It feels regressive to attempt to say otherwise in this movie, especially one where some of Steve’s best development was done by the same directors.

Asterisks/Questions Unanswered/Misc.:

* So in this timeline, Steve fought himself. He told his 2012 self that Bucky was still alive, he made himself seem affiliated with Hydra during the elevator scene in order to get the Tesseract. This isn’t the timeline in which the team gets their hands on the Tesseract, so...this universe still exists because they botched it. When Steve goes back in time to return the stones to their proper timelines, it’s returned to the 1970s, not 2012. So what happens to this universe as a result of that fumble? This would be cool to explore.

** When Steve has to return all the infinity stones to their proper places in time, what happens when you seek to return the soul stone instead of take it? Could Natasha have been brought back this way? I have so many questions. Also, I’d be curious to see Steve’s reaction to seeing the Red Skull as the gatekeeper of the soul stone.

On that note, why was there such an emphasis placed on the soul stone in Infinity War? Saying there’s a certain wisdom to it compared to the other infinity stones. What was that weird soft red void Thanos was in with younger Gamora right after the snap? Why wasn’t any of this followed up on in Endgame?

*** What was the point of the Ronin situation if not to incriminate him enough that it would have been right to allow Clint to sacrifice himself on Vormir?

Can you imagine that your significant other got snapped and 5 years go by and you’ve moved on and perhaps fallen in love with someone else...and then your dead wife/husband returns? Awkward. There has to be some sort of reality TV show in the MCU universe that deals with that. I’d watch that.

The Fornite scene with Thor & co. truly establishes a depressing future where all the game developers got snapped and now all we have is Fornite.

[neo-shitty]

wait, a bsd side story?? eXpLAIN PO pLzzz basta bsd mapapa bukas mata ko 👀 and yes, that post abt bilingual people is exactly you xd productive mo kaninang umaga beh, congrats 😌😌😌 3 am huhu

AND hyunjin s aotm! omaygad 😭 is it just me or his makeup gave him joker vibes ✨specifically his eyes. it reminds me a lot of the time he and changbin did a skit together 😭 and tattoos be , my heart kennat. im really excited sa perf niya huhu

btw , miwa s bangs reminds me so much of atsushi s lol

CONGRATS ON REACHING 600 !!!!!! #21 with lee minho, stray kids? para dumami naman lee know fics mo hehe.

how was your day pala? sakin chill lang, wala masyado nangyari 😎

- 👻

ok so i actually got confused as to why so many mangas popped up when i searched for bsd. turns out, some arcs in bsd are separated unlike other animangas that just put the arcs inside the main manga. for instance, the dead apple arc that became an animated movie has a separate manga for it. beast, on the other hand, is a complete AU where atsushi is the port mafia member and akutagawa is in the ADA.

i think it was bc i slept in the afternoon kaya 3 na, di pa rin ako makatulog T_T i think i slept at around 4 na and woke up at 6 LMFAO. will post the fic i wrote in a few minutes ~.~

HYUNJIN AOTM. HE LOOKED SO GOOD MY GOOOOOD. oh he does give off that kind of vibe. tHE TATTS AND THE LENSES TALAGA FOR ME. damn, stray kids aren't kids anymore and it's not healthy for me :"))))

i did not think abt the bangs! i'm not that observant i guess. i'll look out for it next time.

thank you for the greeting and for the request! i have an idea for this pero e.e HAHAHA oo nga 'no, i'm planning to post a minho fic on his birthday so hopefully by the end of the month, 3 na.

today was chill. i was moving at 144p quality bc i was so sleepy so i slept sa hapon. i'm feeling a bit better now. tbh i'm a bit overwhelmed by the requests HAHA i did not expect na ganyan karami agad. hopefully, i'll have enough writing juice to get through each one.

[nakalimutang-sumpaan]

Also... I will forever pray my future MIL is like her 😂 or that I grow up to be like her bc she’s mom goals really. And I love how she says we’re close HAHA even if we don’t talk as much as we used to. Abby and I were on the phone and asked me last week which of the moms I think is the most mature. And I said, “Okay so this is gonna sound counterintuitive because she’s so child-like, err in touch with her inner child and doesn’t seem like it, but I say her haha. I mean her personality may say otherwise, but her mindset and spirituality is mature. She’s not petty and is drama-free unlike some of the moms HAHA and their own kids are aware and even say it about their own moms. But not her. And look at how she raised them. They’re so great, I love them so much. Also she’s so aware and understanding of mental health unlike some parents. She actually asked how I was doing one time and if I was going through depression during this pandemic. And she’s so easy to talk to and it’s always a fun time with her. She’s so easygoing and funny and so unapologetically herself and I love that she’s so in touch with her inner child and kinda reminds me of me, only super talkative and more outgoing. She makes me be okay with being the same way. Like honestly, GOALS HAHA” “HAHA that’s true. I agree. And I can see you being that type of mom” AND I JUST UGH. HAHA WHAT A CUTE FAMILY. I mean... the husband scares me a bit tho 😂 and I know her son “jokingly” mentioned to me once that he has daddy issues. And that’s why I lowkey love that he and dad are so close and that dad loves and trusts him sm and basically took him under his wing and can be so gay around him. Literally *calls* “Oh Kuya Henry, kumusta po? Napatawag po kayo?” “Wala lang nangangamusta lang, kasi namiss kita eh” AND I’M LIKE 😳 IMSORRYWHAT? LOL. And we ended up driving to their house bc dad needed his help with something and he ended up being the first non-familial guy I willingly told that I got my license. And he was 🎶 so excited for me to finally drive up to your house🎶 😂😂😂 but ya, I literally didn’t tell my best friends until a week after, even a month after, and up to 4 months latest, yet for some reason, it was so easy to tell him of all people. Also, I witnessed how concerned and caring he/you both were when my dad was at the hospital. I’m still not over that and am so grateful for what you guys did. Ugh. I really pray whoever I end up with is like him. And my future MIL is like her. And to have a SIL like the daughter. Dream DIL though is THE CHEESYYY HAHAHAHA. I wonder what that’s be like though. Bc they both married significant others who are more responsible and serious and take care of them. I wonder how it’d be for two people like them who don’t take life too seriously to be together HAHA. Ugh. Okay my brain needs to stop with talking in circles and all these random thoughts hahaha

[lrugloyak]

"Scary” thriller dream, part 1/3.

I could never seem to copy this out from my phone, and I’m pretty sure it’s bc it’s too long LMAO.

Disclaimer: it’s really not that scary huhu

Scary thriller dream. At a hotel with my dad, him for work, me just tagging along. Meet counterparts of what seem like characters from La Casa de Papel, Tokyo and Berlin most notable. I go along with let's call her Tokyo na lang din haha to her room, we hang out a few days, reassure my dad I'm okay. Turns out there's a school, I study there a while. We have events too. I'm classmates with a cute guy who's silent but hot and mysterious, wouldn't be my type irl maybe but imagine a Berlin! Come on I love Berlin. So he was my classmate to that class with a prof whose counterpart is my Comm teacher rn, who isn't conventional at teaching like strict but not really alam mo yun. Once lunch is over, there's no way around it. There was a prom. Havin fun with them, met up w other people. Venue was big -- ballroom, beachside, really nice photo booth. Everyone having fun. People around me were counterparts of both SISC people I was less close to (Jose T, Sharrey, etc.) and Sex Ed. people. I was some sort of arranger din. One point I leave the partay to go up to Tokyo's room on the 32nd floor. Midway on the elevator, I realize I grabbed the wrong phone with a yellow case. Go back down and wait for the person who got mine, I was accompanied by Tokyo. Counterpart of Viv from Sex Ed but giving serious Tammé from GLOW vibes. Talk a bit in abandoned cafeteria about my actual life I think, but I didn't feel it. Just felt the heavy feeling. We part without saying proper goodbyes, nothing cryptic. I go back upstairs, without Tokyo. Getting something to give my dad; counterpart of passport I think that he super needed. Might have been what he was waiting for, now we could go home, but I didn't want to. Shit I forgot all the characters' personalities. There was even a counterpart for Crowley but I can't remember who na. And the tone really shifted around this part. Seemed super real. Anyway I was still in the room with a good friend na girl and a good friend na guy (let's call them Stockholm and Alec bc major similarities both ends), and I was so bent on leaving, more to show my dad I did something notable and less to do with going home. I get these parang flashbacks of times I was with Berlin and Tokyo, sometimes with Stockholm and a few other people who had SUCH GREAT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT I JUST CAN'T REMEMBER HAHAHA but okay in one I was with them, and it was like that social event happened before na, but the point was that people were different. Tokyo was flirting with Berlin, I wasn't jealous but I just thought he was bad news. Kept telling her let's go somewhere else to get her away from him, but she didn't want to. Drugs and smoking other stuff were a bit involved. Worst part was I left her with him bc to some extent I trusted them both, but I was cryin lmao I think I was cryin in real life too but tyg I went back to where I left off after waking up a bit. Basta shet setting was so good this dream -- gave you the feeling it was such a big, comfortable party place full of new things, but kept reminding you it was all just a hotel and you're kind of a prisoner. Stockholm tells me let's just go. Shifts back to present day with them. Starting to really hate comfortable life here, so processing the pros and cons of aftermath of giving my dad back his document. In my head lang; had the urge to not have my friends in my room then. Then this laser passes through the floor. It was an opaque, white room, furnished, and I have no clue how a laser passed through haha. But there was one, almost 2 as if it bounced off the ceiling and back somewhere onto the floor. I whispered step away step away, kept on going, didn't realize it was me. A big bullet blasts way through, unexpectedly, the ceiling then the floor. I see a combat boot peeking through. I scream step away to no one in particular as the hole from the ceiling bursts open bigger for two men to jump in, one of which was a counterpart of Denver, who looked totally unfazed. Counterpart of Alyssa (not preggers lol) comes through the door and stands in the corner, after having seemingly brushed through all the stuff. Ah I'm starting to remember. The paper had important information which was what I thought the bad people were after. It was a list of names of I'm not sure. Felt like the October List actually. Three-page document, first 2 made it back to back on first sheet. So there they didn't threaten or tie down anyone, so for the longest time, even though I knew they were bad guys, since I knew them, I thought we weren't the victims. For a while, we were all just talking where it was supposed to make everything chiller, but evidently the fear in the air was growing. Stockholm is about to go outside without having asked permission and it didn't look like she needed it, so I told her na rin first by whispering then out loud my dad's name, implying she gave it to him.

[hua-fei-hua]

Extra Notes: Music of the Moment Ch. 8

chapter can be read on ao3 or ff.net

i chose summer winter by fialta for this chapter title for several reasons

1. it vibes

2. the line abt how autum goes by quickly is a reference to the fact that we’ll jump from mid/late october in this chapter straight to december next chapter

of course, we’ll return to november again in a few chapters bc smth important happens there, but you guys don’t need to know about it just yet

this chapter was actually supposed to take place in the first week of november (making homecoming the last week of october), but then in order to justify seat changes, i had to go w/“new quarter new seats”

though granted, if you wanted, you could still read it as that way, but with “new month new seats” since it’s not actually that important but ehhh

“there was always the day after [the happily ever after], and the day after that. and the day after that” is a bojack horseman reference

i feel like this is a good series to reference this chapter bc i actually discovered fialta through bojack horseman having one of their ending themes be high above chicago by fialta, a song which i am in love with, thank you very much

anyway, the line is fucking right. maybe it’s happily ever after, maybe it was a bad the end, but there’s always the day after, and the day after that, and the day after that, to make it feel less real, less emotionally powerful again

i didn’t take ap lang, but a lot of my friends did!

i was recommended to take it but i was like “lol nope” bc i wanted to focus on chemistry

anyway, all this just to say that i’ve never read the scarlet letter, but my friends who did said it talked about titties way too much

shinsou plays the baritone saxophone, which is why he and kyouka get to have witty banter abt being saxophone players

you know how i mentioned before that kyouka is an unreliable narrator? yeah, it shows a lot here in that she didn’t notice kaminari was in any of her classes and just assumed he wasn’t in any of them

this isn’t the only class she didn’t notice him in actually, but we’ll get to the other ones when we get to them lol

again, she describes his smile as being million-watt. 

i put in the bit “[that] he gave her when he asked her to hc” specifically bc i know that it’s been forever and a day since chapter two came out. i needed to remind y’all

but anyway yeah she doesn’t describe it as obnoxious, just as confident

“sorry for not knowing who you were” “it was dumb of me to have assumed that you would back then” 

when kyouka says “sorry for not knowing who you were,” she’s referring to the fact that she hadn’t connected his presence in the class w/the guy in band, but when kaminari says “it was dumb of me to have assumed you would [have known me] back then,” it’s referring to the fact that she didn’t know him when he asked her to homecoming

it’s one of those fantastic bits of dialogue where two people are actually having two very different conversations across their heads that i actually tend to do w/kmjr

this is how you do miscommunications y’all

this isn’t an important miscommunication tho

honestly, i had a lot of fun writing jirou flustered as all hell bc holy shit that is so embarrassing

the line “no lie, hell would have been kinder than this” is a spoof on a genuinely angsty line in one of my other fics that just reads “hell would have been kinder than this”

i say a spoof despite them essentially being the same line bc the different contexts gives the one here a more joking tone

anyway yeah!! one of the really short chapters in this fic at less than 1k. i have neither a chapter length maximum nor minimum for this fic, so i wouldn’t be surprised if there were more chapters less than 1k. sometimes you just need that whole week to let that tiny event sink in.

send your responses/further questions to my askbox~

next chapter will be out in about two fridays from now~ c;

[thefutureisu]

xxiii - “P”

it’s been days, but i am still quite pissed with this one guy whom I’ve talked to for almost a month.

so we matched on bumble during his bday (which i just learned later on that day) anw i was talking to a lot of ppl then, and i didn’t give him much attention……? but turned out he was an art guy /and I’m a sucker for art ppl duh/ so ayun i was asking stuff

then turns out it was his bday??? and i got intrigued bc if it was other ppl, first thing that they’ll say is HEY it’s my bday greet me, or whatever

anw i said lets switch to tg since i wasn’t that much keen on opening bumble na much bc i feel guilty of the ppl i stopped replying to (hey I’m trying 2 be better)

THEN to my surprise, he invited to call. i was dreading it at first. i dont want another “S" mishap. but then i agreed bc i felt lazy in typing na ren, but i told him first if he was sure bc I’m fucking awkward w calls, i can’t get my charming self out w calls lmao

anw, ff to three week, we were calling almost every night. like even when he was at parties, or w his friends he called pa ren. BUT it was nothing, just yknow normal talking?? wait HOLD UP, i feel kinda oa bc when we were talking, he was always keen to call. like ill try to say i might not b able to then he’ll say aww or aw ok or basta after i say no, ill feel bad. i seldom left him on read at times BUT he was often double texting me, which was nice. he actually reminded me of S at times, he was an open book too. he shared a LOT haha, even sent me lots of photos.

SPEAKING OF S, they know each other!!!!!! they were classmates b4 wtf. smol world tlaga, dude. he asked kasi how i knew S, then i told him a bit of what happened. anw, w this guy. he seemed ok? nice. we had a lot of common in music and films and fash0wn and he was basta okay lng.

plus he was convenient to talk to. madalas nga i was the one sleeping on him lmao. like he really helped me sleep sum nights. he was ok w him talking the whole time, which was half great..? i was often tired w work thts why i didn’t share much (plus he was a stranger) wait HAHA his name is really long so he has this card-related nname that also begins w an ’s', but ill just call him P (his other name).

there was one time pa nga when our call reached 10 hours. tangina, idk how i stayed up that long. from 8ish until almost 7 am. that was both our longest HAHA WTF 10. both xmas celebs, we called din. which was weird since it was xmas. but this is what’s bothering me. last time we called, it was ‘k naman. i was kinda drunk kaya i dont really remember…………….thts why I’m slightly bothered baka i said something not nice ???

after that call, he didn’t messg much na. i did, i sent him a meme vid but our talk “down spiraled”, which ended up in me being super irritated cause he said that i was overthinking stuff again, like i did it often (i mean i do) but i dont think he was at the place where he could say it na? like we weren’t in that place yet. his choice of words were really offensive i swear. so i told him he was an ahole, then after non he was replying na lang w one words. he didn’t even apologize, sarap manapak.

anywaaaaay, new yr i greeted him. he greeted back. being such a ppl pleaser, i was irked that he had the audacity to be like that when he was the one who did “something” to irritate me.

but i still asked, like after NY. i said sumthin like "hey whats w the sudden change etc etc did sumthing happen" ganon TAS HAHAHAHA DO U KNOW WHAT HE SAID? he said no nothing happened, he just can’t reply much because he’s been talking to someone else na lmao

i mean ok???? but the way he said it, it was in a v apologetic tone!! it had the same energy w “um I’m not tlking to u anymore bc i have a new one now” i was so offended, it was like i was bitch slapped!!!

eh kasi naman hahahaha we were just friends-ish. but parang iba to him, i mean he could’ve laughed and said hey cha i have a kalandian now but yea whats up w you na, ganon. idk iba kasi tlaga pagkakasabe nya sksjddjdkdkdk like he turned me down ganon.

i was trying 2 b “friends” legitimate haha i have other friends whom i made na at bumble, & i thought ganon den so i replied "what??? haha i thought i offended u kasi kaya i asked, anw gl (good luck)" tas he seened me ????? sayang oras ko sa’yo, P. sayang puyat ko sa’yo lmao i should’ve slept. ass.

& the thing thats been bothering me is his SUDDEN change. ugh boys. it’s quite scary hahahah to trust ppl. maybe he got scared na i invited him on art fair lol i remem inviting him sa last call. maybe he thought i was asking him out….,,,,,,,,,eh i invited him bc i have free tix from my comp & all my friends have weekend jobs tas art stud sha so it was convenient bc he’d be able to “get it” i mean the stuff there. lol ewan, basta he changed agad, kay parang i was super surprised. one min, he’s like this tapos biglang BAM ok bye