#I did him by memory dont take this too srsly

[naitmeir]

ARE WE ABLE TO SEE GUMMIGOO IN YOUR STYLE ??

(I just thought about seeing your design as him)

my take on this bastarddd

edit: BRING HIM BACK IM SORRY HES NOT A BASTARD

[jkgnggj]

Honestly I don't think so, I'm not completely sure how saikis restoration power works but I doubt it works on things he can't see or touch? In this case ghosts, he can only touch them thru astral projection and can only see them when he's touching Tori and maybe also probably during astral projection right? So unless maybe he astral projected and rewound them too? But it wouldn't make sense to do that and he def didn't do that bc I don't think he even knew ghosts existed like genuinely before Tori came around. So yeah I think it's totally possible the ghosts just made an offhanded comment abt saiki rewinding time to Tori once and he immediately was like TIME TRAVEL? COOL I GOTTA MEET THIS GUY!

Hey gang, do we think the ghosts in the Saiki world are affected by Saiki's yearly global restoration + mind control wombo combo or nah?

Discuss.

[shytastemakerthing]

hii!! U seem so cool- but anyway,, could i get a twisted wonderland match up? My grammar kinda sucks and my auto corrects off so😭

I would like for it to be more romantic, if thats ok! Also pls dont match me up with any of the 1st years since i would honestly just adopt them in twst😭

Sooo im an enfp 7w6, scorpio, green flag.. Yeahhh

But other than that,, (about to write a whole essay abt my personality) what abt my personality?

Soo im honestly kindaa uhm,, goldfish-like; i have a crap memory. and whenever in a serious situation, one where you need to stay on guard, i instantly calm down after someone cracks a joke and forget abt the whole situation.. So bcuz of that i get called "the goldfish of (gc name)" 🥲

But im really motherly and caring! I always take care of my loved ones like a nurse, so pretty much- im my friends personal nurse AND doctor (as someone who startes studying abt medical stuff when i was like 10,, young, ik) i also take care of stray animals whenever i get the chance. feeding them, taking care of their wounds, whatever! Im a good balance of childish and mature, though i fall more on the childish side! I honestly give out 'sad, wet cat' vibes at first, since i mostly spend time alone, sulking abt being alone, reading in the library alone.. but im the total opposite! Honestly kinda weird but in a good way? Super kind, and generous, and sympathetic, i always consider other peoples feelings first ofc! Honestly kind of a people pleaser🥲 softhearted person with anger issues huhu.. Also keyword 'with anger issues' because i can and will beat someone up who did one simple thing to make me mad, even if theyre like 6'2 IDGAF FIGHT ME IM 5'10 ITS NOT MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE🙄🙄 veryvery energetic or the opposite, depends. havent slept for like 2 weeks straight😇

Now I'll just say the exact words my friends said when i asked them what they thought of me-

"funny, cute, and she lavs astronomy ahhajaja" "ure the friend whos effortlessly funny but gay /j but srsly youre the friend whos funny but super girlboss whenever there are fights and uses emojis every sentence they send" "the fish i ate for dinner" "cute nmn, and fun too, but annoying sometimes😒" "youre literally just like your father but as a girl,, stubborn, charming, ignorant, brave.. And you even have the same facial feaures." "Soft girl vibes" "VOODOO DOLL SELLER IKAW"

And for my hobbies.. I have a lot tbh LEMME JUST-

Astronomy; stargazing.. IT GIVES ME SO MUCH PEACE OMG

Exploring; going to abandoned and apparently 'haunted' places brings me so much joy somehow

Dancing; practicing ballet but my friends drag me to learn the choreo of a kpop song😭

Singing; opera😻

Sports; BADMINTON, BASKETBALL, SOCCER, VOLLEYBALSLSMSJKAHSKXVJSDJ LOBVE THIS

Gaming; tbh i rarely do it anymore😭

Collecting; plushies, seashells, etc..

Art; SCULPTING, DIGITAL, TRADITIONAL, MUSIC, ETC. I CAN DO IT ALL OMGG

Thats all i think😔 I dont wanna waste ur time so thank you huhuu BYEE HAVE A GREAT YEAR MWAMWA

-lav hoshii

Hello and thank you for your request! Honestly I had a lot of fun reading over this and I believe I have just the guy for you so here we go!

I match you with.......

Floyd Leech

🦐 You two bounce off of each other so freaking much that it is insane. At this point, you're the most interesting person in his life and he isn't planning on letting you go ANY time soon and that's a fact.

🦐 Floyd is someone who butts heads with a lot of people, and I mean, a LOT of people. He's not one to shy away from a fight, even in those ones where he is clearly out numbered. It's more fun for him. But what he really loves is how you patch him up after each and every one. Sure, you badger him about all of these fights, but it's only because you care about him, and as you place a kiss to each wrap and bandaid, he can only hopelessly grin at you...... he is smitten.

🦐 Your memory isn't the best, and while Floyd seems like the aloof type, he is actually very smart, very perceptive, and has an excellent memory. He will remember anything you can't and it greatly comes in handy when needed.

🦐 Being with Floyd, also means you will be seeing a lot of Jade. Sorry, they're a two for one package deal (Azul's words). And while his twin was highly skeptical of you at first (when is he not skeptical of someone?), just seeing you with Floyd, and all the shenanigans you both get up too and how you always take care of him, you're basically family now at this point.

🦐 He is in the basketball club! Which is perfect for you! You love basketball and you two have player 1v1 quite a lot. Just be careful, because he can and WILL get competitive. Also, if you wear his jersey to his games, he has this derpy smile the entire time and will be showing off just for you. He turns into an absolute beast on the court. You're now the good luck charm of the NRC basketball team and Ace and Jamil always make sure you're there.

🦐 He finds out early on in the relationship about your habit of collecting sea shells. Now, because of him that collection has expanded a great amount. Look, you're dating a merman, he can and will be going under the water to gather the best and biggest shells thay he can find for your ccollection. But your personal favorite is a little cream colored chipped clam shell. He brought that one back after finding it randomly on a walk and it is now the most cherished one in the collection.

🦐 The way your mood fluctuates matches how his does, and while it annoyed him at first (like, is this how Jade and Azul feel when his does that?), he was able to quickly find out what can set you off or change your mood and is able to quickly adjust accordingly. Though he will admit that you look pretty hot when you get angry and tackle someone twice your size.

🦐 He would absolutely love to go exploring with you. It can be boring, it can be dangerous, so much could happen that you just don't know and that's what makes it exciting! If you ever get bored of looking at the supposedly haunted houses, he'll happily supply a breathing potion and he can show you some really cool shipwrecks!

🦐 Overall, a relationship with the reckless eel with legs is nothing short of an adventure. You know you'll never be bored, he loves how considerate you are with him and how you take care of him. And Azul and Jade are beyond thankful that you can actually get him to focus on his work, only if you're there, though 😅

[lynnthefrenchtoast]

🌱lynn's favourite fics

(and quotes from them♡)

requested by: @thejollyshiner & @misterjelliez

Poisoned Dreams by StrangeDiamond

14 CHAPTERS & 3 BONUSES

do you desperately want kaeya and diluc to go back to being brothers again? then this! is the fic! for you! haha! prepare to cry! and slam! your head! on a table! multiple times!

"He's ours now," Diluc wants to tell Kaeya's father. "He's my father's son, not yours. My brother. He's Mondstadt's, and we're not giving him back to you."

thats probably my favourite quote, as well as every piece of fischl dialogue

A Liar's Truth by internetpistol

2 CHAPTERS

sakusa-centred sakuatsu fic. i think this'll hit harder for you if youre closeted or have an unsupportive family but i still enjoyed it regardless

"Love me not despite the fact that I’m gay, but simply because I’m your son."

there were a lot of good quotes but that one takes the cake. absolutely. its now one of my rules to live by

i get to love you by indawn

ONESHOT

childe dies and zhongli gets to mourn his loss.

"For he will always live on in his memory, and in all that is beautiful in life, he will reside."

short but a huge fuel to my writing

How To Finish Your Bucket List Before You Die- A Guide From Kaeya Alberich by OHai_Here

3 CHAPTERS & AN AFTERWORD

kaeya is given a little extra time before he has to go.

"He thinks of Master Crepus who looks at a too-skinny too-dark boy with midnight hair and says, come with me. He thinks of his mother, clinging to Kaeya like the last lifeline she has as she sobs so hard her throat gives out, but through her tears, lets her only son leave for a better life, thinks of his father who sacrificed his life to walk his son through a land which rejects him, who gives his final smile and hug and says, my boy.

And then he thinks about Klee and her innocent smile and understands why they all did what they did and then he thinks, my girl."

i have a soft spot for klee and that line hit me hard.

Parallels by Lancaliii

17 CHAPTERS ONGOING

i havent been into the bnha fandom mood for a v long time but this is DIFFERENT, the characters are totally lancalis own and I LOVE THEM

i dont exactly have a favourite quote since its still ongoing but all of chapter 'blind till now' is my favourite. probably the slutshaming dandelions and "When you hide, you're cowering from the eyes of the world, my friend. Let it see you."

apparently i cant only reccomended angst? smh this isnt fair🙄

bringing a boquet to battle by wormkinnie

ONESHOT

the itto characterization,, hh,, HHHHHHH im pretty sure wormkinnie has a tumblr uh dont let them see this im shy but THEIR WORK IS SO GOOD SORRY IK I NEED TO BE SUMMARIZING THE FIC BUT SRSLY.

itto is chaotic and everyone has to deal with it essentially (ittorou)

“Well, Itto, my only real experience on these matters is with political marriages. I don’t think that’d be much help to you.”

“Well, hey, hold on now. Can I politically ask Gorou to go out with me?” IT REALLY ISNT THE TYPE OF FIC YOU CAN SELL ON A SINGLE QUOTE ITS MORE A WRITING STYLE + COMEDIC GENIUS THING

lessons in beetle battling by wormkinnie

ONESHOT

ive said it once and ill say it again misuse of authority is not good but ayato is an exception. poor thoma. poor, poor thoma.

more wormkinnie fics bc as weve established..

"Lord Kamisato?” Like an answer from Celestia, like a miracle, like some kind of divine blessing that says Yes, Ayato, you can uphold your family’s honor and go fight insects in the streets,"

my actual favourite part is the gorou part but that needs context and i cant spoil it so hhhh

"oh im gonna reccomended fluff now" said lynn, like a liar

the truth (and nothing but) by communist_sasuke

ONESHOT

chuuya gets hit by an ability that forces him to tell the truth. mild hurt/comfort ensues

"Because it makes me human."

no, lynn, you should, in fact, not, share the smut fics you read on a tumblr acc with the same username as every other social media you use because your family can and will find you

..." said the logical part of her brain which she unfortunately tends not to listen to

OK I WONT SHARE THE FICS BUT *COUGH* IM JUST SAYING... jisxangie and seredemia.. thats good enough to be considered art not smut.

please (and i means srsly, pls) reccomend fics in the comments... im starved... i wanna read... give...-🌱

[sugarlove12]

U GUYS DONT THINK I FORGOT TO COMPLETE MY GIVEN SONGS ANALYSIS SERIES! I’m so sorry I’ve been mostly inactive, even with my tumblr friends (I love u guys im sorry😭) but I’m on my 4th year of med school so the past semester was kinda tough, ngl this one is also looking rough but I promise to be more active, now LET’S GO!!!

DISCLAIMER: this analysis isn’t by any means the definite or “real” meaning, this is just my overthinker ass trying to hurt myself more 🤣 so it’s totally ok and normal if u don’t agree or even if it really wasn’t Atsushi’s intention, once again this is just how I perceive the meaning.

Bokura dake no Shudakai

This song is my personal favorite, I remember that back when the movie’d just released and everything was pretty recent, just hearing the beginning would bring me to absolute tears, and that would be enough to cancel my chores for the day (just like Kizuato and Fuyu no Hanashi when I watched the anime for the first time) till this day it makes a pretty big hole in my heart cuz of the beautiful and sad lyrics.

Let’s start with the first sentence: “We cant go back anymore” -> can someone explain how is it that just one sentence can move me so much, specially cuz we can all agree this could be Uge’s pov, so remembering all the recent events he’s going thru, like breaking up with Aki for good and also accepting that he’s found a new love, learning how to be alone, etc, I can’t help it but feel kinda sad and nostalgic about it.

And that’s something I wanna point out about this song and is WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WAY TO CONVEY NOSTALGIA OMG I FELT AS IF I WAS UGE HIMSELF AND IM JUST REMEMBERING MY MEMORIES WITH MY EX.

Moving on to the pre chorus we can see that Uge is saying that even with the “scratches” that he had, he is gonna move on from those sad days he spent crying and his past with Aki.

Now my personal favorite and the part I always get the most emotional: THE CHORUS.

When he says: I’m going, nee mitete yo (look at me) -> idk how to explain how much this gets me HAHAHA but there’s a je ne sais quois, like i feel him saying it kinda in a cutesy playful but lowkey sad way(? Im crazy ok don’t take this too srsly.

“We used to laugh at odd things, got mad at differences, I’ll make the dream I had with u come true”: this sentence to me describes perfectly when u break up with someone and there are times u find yourself reminiscing the past, those fun silly moments, unnecessary fights and u find yourself saying wow did we really fight bc of that? How immature!

Ik I’ve been saying this a lot but this really breaks me: “When I’m sad, extremely difficult times, I remember the time spent together on this memory, in the back of my mind” I’m honestly not even gonna say anything about it cuz u know when u hold someone dear and the memories with them can help u go thru hard times? Well that’s it there’s nothing more to add😹.

In the second verse we can see what u expect to experience post break up (or at least I think so) u wanna see them but everything’s cool and since that person was so important to you, you wanna be happy when u see them and u can even laugh it off or hug it out.

But to be quite honest that’s not the case for the most part ☹️.

Finally we have the bridge where to me is the most realistic part cuz u know how Uge did in fact wanted to break up with Aki cuz he knew it was for the best, but he never committed 100% to that, and now it was finally happening, so all that realization of breaking up and those feelings can be sensed in here cuz he says “I want to disappear, escape, in the screaming despair, I resented the encounter and even the miracle”

Now really the chorus again so it would end up killing me: “I’m looking for something more important than you, for you who is more important than anything” -> now with this it gives the same feeling as in Yorugaakeru’s “daijoubu” sensing that in fact Uge is gonna move on from all the pain.

At the end of the song we can listen just the violin and to me that can be Uge standing alone, saying goodbye to Aki. ❤️

Special bonus:

We can see our baby Uge is doing just fine and honestly I wish him all the happiness in the world cuz as much as Aki hurt in the relationship, he was in the same position as him, so I can’t wait to see him grow more and more as a character ❤️

[thejamesoldier]

Every Tomorrow

AO3 Link

a/n: Did I write this fic bc I slammed face first back into the inuyasha fandom after the premiere of yashahime? Absolutely. Did I write this fic so I could get those g o o d domestic inukag feels? Absolutely. Did I write this fic as a way to come to terms with the fact that one of my first crushes as a kid happened to be an animated dog man? Absolutely. Enjoy yall xxx

(this goregous gif isn’t mine!) 

rating: explicit 

pairing: inuyasha x kagome

tags: protective inuyasha, jealous inuyasha, emotionally constipated inuyasha, honestly whats new, youkai mates, soulmates, youkai culture, mate bonds, mate rituals, touch-starved inuyasha, shippo is kagome’s son dont talk to me, mirsan as parents, sesshoumaru is still kinda a prick but we like him now, angst and smut and fluff, domestic bliss, srsly this shit is so soft i should be arrested, non-canon compliant with yashahime, shit ton of inukag being cute tbh

summary: 'Kagome smiles through tears of insurmountable joy as a shadow passes over her. She tilts her head back and finds a familiar silhouette bending over the ledge of the well. The figure is still for a moment, as if frozen in utter disbelief, before a clawed hand reaches down to her and with a shuttering exhale, Kagome takes it. Inuyasha hauls her up into the light and suddenly, he's in front of her -- he's real. His silver hair, his ears, his red haori, those eyes of molten gold that stare up at her with nothing less than his very soul bared for her to see. Kagome observes such belonging in him, such love, and it completes her.'

or

my excuse to write some indulgent domestic inukag and explore their happy ending

Chapter 1 - mizpah 

The day is grey.

Clouds rumble low and thick over the skyline, swallowing the tops of buildings in the distance and casting deep shadows across the shrine grounds. Kagome is supposed to go out today, a few friends asked her to grab lunch at some new bistro that's opened up near campus. She'd been contemplating how to work the impending downpour into an excuse to stay home, never really having the energy for much these days. Parsing out when to expend the limited energy she did have had become a constant chore since being cut off from --

A familiar pain twangs through her chest, the ache almost welcome. It's all she has left of him.

Maybe it's the rain, maybe its the gloom of the day pulling out the worst of her longing, but regardless she finds herself pushing silently out of her room, walking downstairs, slipping outside, and standing before the closed doors of the Bone Eater's well. Drawn back once again to what was stolen from her. Kagome had promised herself she'd stop doing this, stop torturing herself -- stop giving in to the inexplicable sorrow of living a life without him. But just like the other times, the temptation to let the true weight of her loss pour into the gaping hole in her soul and fill her to the brim, make her so heavy with it that she's brought to her knees, is a poison she's unable to resist. She does this more regularly than she knows is healthy, but its the only way Kagome feels whole anymore. If she's not drowning in loss then she's empty, and Kagome isn't sure which is worse. Without a word she shoulders the doors open and descends the rotting stairs.

The familiar musty smell of earth and something not quite alive but not quite dead hits her. Kagome's eyes water at the memories the scent yields. Before she can stop herself her fingers come up to caress the splintering lip of the ancient well. It feels...empty, same as it always does when she comes in here. The sensation is akin to a sense of hollowness, that the shaft of negative space that runs down the well's center is truly all that's left of the magic that used to come alive for her. A silent sob wrenches down her throat, rendering her vulnerable to the torrent of emotion that swells in her. She let's each gasping breath tear her open, tear out all that's left of her. A sick relief floods her as the sorrow emerges fully and, as always, she crumbles to her knees under the burden of it.

Inuyasha...

Just saying his name, even in the privacy of her own mind, tares something vital out of Kagome's core. She hopes he knows, hopes that despite it all he knows that she is still his in every way a person could be. Disassembled and broken as she is, Kagome offers her anguish to the well praying that if it wouldn't return her to him, then it could at least take her devotion instead.

Carry it to him, remind him he's loved...

For a moment she considers descending the well and curling up at the bottom of it, willing her feelings to reach him, but the thought of her mother finding her like that again...she couldn't bare it. Her mom had been so heartbroken, so overwhelmed with worry when she found Kagome lying at the bottom of the well, cheek pressed to the dirt and eyes seeping tears that wouldn't stop. She wouldn't do that to her again. With that thought Kagome tries to rally herself, to yank her heart away from the addicting agony of missing him and prepares to push her mind into the nothingness she utilizes to numb the pain. She had allowed herself this much and it had to be enough for now, anymore and she'd send herself into a deeply harmful depressive state.

Kagome closes her eyes and uses the well to help heave herself to stand, movements slow and body sore, feeling like her limbs are made of lead. Before she turns to leave, Kagome grips the well as fiercely as she can with both hands. A feeling of intensity overtakes her in that moment and she's unable to think of anything but:

Inuyasha, Kagome declares to the emptiness of the well, I want to see you.

What happens next astounds her. Fate smiles in glee as -- finally -- the threads of time align and pull taught. A gentle breeze smelling of sunshine and wildflowers drifts up to Kagome, it's warm fingers brushing tenderly through the hair that hangs in her face. Kagome's eyes open with an audible gasp. Her heart blossoms because there, lying at the bottom of the well, is a cerulean sky -- a few wispy clouds floating lazily by. The sound of birds singing echoes up to her and suddenly, the Bone Eater's well bursts to life. Kagome is embraced by the energy of the well like an old friend as it resurrects in silent sparkling splendor around her. It soaks into her skin, her soul, filling her with hope instead of sorrow. It's pure life, and it beckons to her with such surety that it breaks Kagome's heart.

"Kagome?"

Her mother's voice forces a sharp exhale out of Kagome, she hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath. Kagome can't look away from the impossible sky below her though, she's frozen in shock and wrestles with the possibility that this isn't a dream. She's had so many that happened just like this. Kagome...Kagome doesn't dare to hope...

"What's wrong?" Mrs. Higurashi asks as she makes her way down the stairs and comes to a stop behind Kagome, concern strangling the usual softness of her tone into an unsure waver.

"Mom," Is all Kagome is capable of saying, and it comes out in a hoarse terrified whisper.

Kagome hears her mother give a small gasp of disbelief, before Mrs. Higurashi steps up close beside her daughter and peers down the well too.

"The sky," Kagome hushes, still unable to fully accept what's happening but slowly becoming afraid that this will all be ripped from her. Again.  

A gentle hand wraps around her shoulders and pulls Kagome back from the ledge. Kagome lets her mother do this, lets herself lean into her mother's warmth in the face of all this crushing possibility.

"Mom I," Are the shaky words Kagome tries to preface her departure with, not sure what to even say -- lost in how she's meant to articulate the avalanche of emotion she's feeling. Because even if this is a dream she can't bare to wait any longer, she needs to know if...if maybe the well heard her and is by some miracle answering her prayers.

Mrs. Higurashi turns Kagome around to face her, hands soft as they frame her daughter's shoulders.

"Kagome," Her mother says her name and it holds all the world in it, Kagome looks up and is immediately swept away by the love in her mom's eyes. Mrs. Higurashi smiles at her then -- kind eyes closing on tears that are beginning to fall, and Kagome nearly collapses, "I understand."  

With a sob Kagome embraces her mother for the last time.

"Tell Sota and Grandpa that I love them," Kagome murmurs in a rush.

Her mother only squeezes her tighter and nods. They shake in each other's arms for another breath before both pulling away.

"I am so proud of you Kagome," Mrs. Higurashi says, voice trembling with emotion but warm, always so warm.

"I love you Mama," Kagome responds as tears begin to swell in her eyes.

"Give this to him for me," Her mother requests as she takes Kagome's face in her hands, and leans in close to press a searing kiss to her forehead.

"Oh Mama," Kagome weeps as her mother's love wraps around her heart and fills her with a kind of joy she hasn't felt in years.  

Mrs. Higurashi leans back a little and uses her thumbs to wipe the wetness off of Kagome's cheeks.

"Tell him that I love him, that I've always seen him as a son, and that I am proud to have him be apart of our family."

Kagome deteriorates into a watery mess as the sentiments her mother just shared wash over her. Wordlessly, Mrs. Higurashi helps her daughter climb up onto the lip of the well before they simply stare for a moment, taking each other in one more time. Then her mother bestows her one last parting gift.

"Live Kagome," Her mom hushes, fierce happiness triumphant in her voice, as she releases her daughter's hands and watches as she turns to leap down the well, body disappearing from sight moments later.

Goodbye Mama, Kagome calls back as she sinks into time.

Kagome relishes the sensations traveling through the well give her -- a fierce nostalgia gripping her chest at the bursts of cobalt light, the galactic vastness watching her fall past, the light at the bottom of the well welcoming her home...

When she lands on solid ground a part of her fears so intensely that she's still in her time, that she refuses to open her eyes. What if she were to look up and see her mother staring down at her? Kagome hesitates for a moment, eyes closed, standing so still, terrified that this isn't real, and then something throbs in her chest --

She feels him, feels his youki hurtling towards her and suddenly, Kagome is no longer afraid.

Inuyasha!

Kagome opens her eyes and squints at the sky above her, the breeze she felt earlier encouraging her towards her future. She makes it about three fourths of the way up the well when she hears him. The pounding of his feet against the earth as he races closer, his aura a brilliant thriving thing that feels like the sun against her skin. Kagome smiles through tears of insurmountable joy as a shadow passes over her. She tilts her head back and finds a familiar silhouette bending over the ledge of the well. The figure is still for a moment, as if frozen in utter disbelief, before a clawed hand reaches down to her and with a shuttering exhale, Kagome takes it. Inuyasha hauls her up into the light and suddenly, he's in front of her -- he's real. His silver hair, his ears, his red haori, those eyes of molten gold that stare up at her with nothing less than his very soul bared for her to see. Kagome observes such belonging in him, such love, and it completes her.

"Inuyasha," She says his name, says it just for him, and he inhales, "I'm so sorry, were you waiting here for me?"

Inuyasha's expression shifts and Kagome gasps softly at the chaos he's trying to contain, but then he says her name. Says it just for her.

"Kagome."

A wet laugh escapes her lips at the sound of his voice, at how she used to long to hear him say her name, just like that.

"Inuyasha," Kagome murmurs again just because she can as her fingers play with the ends of his forelocks, eyes jumping all over his face trying to take in every part of him at once.

Unable to help herself, Kagome wraps both arms around his neck, relishing in the feel of his hair threading through her fingers, and presses her lips to his with a sigh. Inuyasha remains still for a moment, like his brain is one beat behind, before he clutches her to him so hard her lungs squeeze in her chest. Kagome doesn't care, in fact she doesn't feel like they're close enough. She wants to crawl her way into him and stay there forever, never to be separated again. The kiss feels like coming home, and it makes the part of her that sat empty for the past three years steadily fill. Inuyasha's lips are slightly chapped, she notes, and he kisses her like she's the only kind of devastation he'd willingly submit to. Impossibly, her love for him deepens further. Kagome pulls back with a gasp, trying to catch her breath as Inuyasha carefully sets her down on the ground, their lips brushing while the two of them tremble in the wake of such sweeping passion.

"Kagome," Inuyasha whispers her name again, like its the only word he knows, and dives back down to reclaim her lips.

She lets a soft noise shake loose from her chest when he tilts his head to deepen the kiss, his claws snagging on the material of her cardigan as he holds her close. Kagome feels a fang nip at her lower lip and, smiling into the kiss, she happily opens up for him. When their tongues meet, Inuyasha's hands raise to cup both sides of her jaw, mindful of his claws near such delicate skin. With something between a groan and a growl, he breaks their kiss to turn her head to the side, smoothing one reverent hand down the exposed length of her neck. Her heart beat picks up when in one long inhale, Inuyasha traces his nose in a steady line from her collarbone up to the patch of skin just below her ear. He makes a tender noise then, nearly a whine, and without preamble presses his face firmly into the arch of her neck, taking deep unhurried breaths through his nose. Kagome leaves one hand wrapped around the bulk of his shoulders, but brings the other one up to hold the back of his head in place against her. One of his ears flicks against her cheek and in a moment of raw delight, a giggle bubbles up from her throat as does a fresh wave of tears. Inuyasha flattens the offending ear against his skull but Kagome remains undeterred and drops a sweet kiss on to the delicate appendage, the soft fur tickling her lips a little. She holds him even closer as he melts against her at the intimate display of affection.

Oh kami she'd missed him so much.  

"Kagome!"

It takes a second for the two of them to come back down to earth, but the call of Shippo's voice encourages Kagome to turn towards the sound of approaching footsteps. Inuyasha makes a firm noise against the skin of her neck -- a warning, like he wasn't ready to let her go yet. He tenses when she ignores him and stiffens even further as Shippo continues to barrel closer. In the span of a heartbeat Inuyasha has Kagome behind him and lets a true growl rip from his throat. Kagome startles against his back, realizing belatedly that he'd just threatened Shippo.

--

"Inuyasha?" Kagome's words come out sounding like an odd mix of admonishment and worry.

Shippo looks genuinely shocked at being challenged with such a territorial threat display, having slid to an abrupt halt at Inuyasha's feet. Inuyasha comes back to himself after a few beats, brain catching up with his instincts, and his aggression falters.

"Slowly," Inuyasha grinds out as he steps to the side to allow Kagome to come forward, working furiously to relax his muscles.

Respecting Inuyasha's warning, Shippo moves very carefully towards Kagome, though he only manages to take two steps before Kagome is crashing to her knees and hauling him into her arms.

"Shippo!" She cries and Shippo immediately starts bawling.

The young kitsune grabs tuffs of her hair in his tiny fists and smashes his face into her neck, repeating her name over and over again unable to help himself. Inuyasha stiffens again at this, but grits his teeth against the instinct to tear the runt clean out of Kagome's arms. She wouldn't like that, and honestly neither would Inuyasha, he knows how much Kagome means to Shippo.

What's wrong with me?

"You, you made it back!" Sango bursts as her and Miroku catch up and come to a stop a few feet in front of them, kids in tow.

"It's been much too long Kagome!" Miroku calls in absolute astonishment.

"Miroku, Sango!" Kagome all but weeps as she rises from the ground, Shippo still held tight in her arms, and rushes to embrace them.

Inuyasha feels that angry tug in his gut again at the idea of so many scents polluting Kagome's skin so soon after getting her back, but the larger part of him can only smile as he watches his woman hug Sango then Miroku -- mindful of the kids in their arms and murmuring little 'hello's to them as well. He can smell the depth of their rapture as they all rejoice Kagome's return. It puts Inuyasha's heart into a state of profound contentment, and he realizes then that he's never felt this way before. Who knew anticipation could be a good feeling? Because damn was he ready to experience every single tomorrow with Kagome by his side.

--

The rest of the afternoon is spent celebrating. Kagome reunites with Kaede, the elder priestess nearly speechless with elation at seeing Kagome push aside the noren of her hut. To Kagome's surprise Rin is also there, the young girl delighted by Kagome's return as well, and hadn't hesitated to gush about how lonely Inuyasha was without her. Inuyasha had only shrugged at this, not denying it but still sent a betrayed glare Rin's way as color rose high on his cheeks. Kagome is welcomed back by the people of the village too, townsfolk she'd gotten to know during her time collecting jewel shards being especially pleased to see her, though they knew not where she'd gone. Kagome and Inuyasha stuck to each other like glue through it all, unwilling to part for even a moment. No one blamed them.

At one point Kagome started to panic because she had to pee of all things, and the thought of loosing sight of her hanyou if only for a minute terrified her. The fear that this was a dream kept gnawing at her, and the possibility that this could all be taken away at any moment made Kagome feel physically ill. She'd held it in as long as she could before walking nearly knock-kneed to relieve herself. It turned out Kagome needn't have worried at all because without a word Inuyasha had followed her, giving her true privacy for only as long as it took to empty her bladder before he was within her sights again. Kagome had blushed furiously when it occurred to her that him being so close while she used the bathroom probably meant that he could...smell it. When she tried to shoo him away he only stared at her, firmly shaking his head no once, and waited. After Kagome had finished she'd made her way back over to Inuyasha, feeling incredibly sheepish about the whole situation. The moment she was close enough though he'd pulled her into a desperate hug and whispered,

"Please bare with me Kagome, I-I can't..." He'd trailed off but Kagome was already hugging him back, refusing to let go. She understood.

They shared a grand feast with Sango and Miroku that evening, Kagome using the time to properly acquaint herself with their children. Shippo sat in her lap for most of the meal, and its as she stared at her friends -- her family, that Kagome realized that she'd been given something truly precious and everything in her vowed to never let it go. This was more than she could have ever hoped for, and the fear that this was temporary strangled her multiple times throughout the reunion. But Inuyasha was always right there beside her, and having him close ended up being the only way to ease the worst of her anxiety. After everyone finished their food and caught up on each other's lives as much as they could in one sitting (the serious questions being left for tomorrow), the pair said their goodbyes for the night. Shippo had fought to retire with Inuyasha and Kagome, but was stilled by Miroku's hand on his small shoulder. Kagome embraced Shippo before delivering a soft peck to his cheek, letting him nuzzle back for a beat or two more before promising to come back first thing in the morning.

Now Kagome and her hanyou are getting settled in a hut the villagers had built for Inuyasha that's set on the outskirts of the village. It's quite obvious to Kagome from the state of the place that Inuyasha hardly uses it, though she knows how lonely he gets by himself and she figures he probably spends most of his time with Sango and Miroku who live more centrally to the village. Inuyasha's hut is mounted at the peak of a sloping hill, the tallest in the surrounding area besides the shrine itself. At first she wondered if the villagers meant to ostracize Inuyasha by putting his hut so far from everyone else's, but as they reach the hill's zenith, she realizes it isn't a sign of disrespect but quite the opposite. The vista from his home has views of the entire village and even overlooks a decent portion of the forest. On the opposite side of the hut, miles of stunning countryside sprawls under the hazy light of the setting sun all the way to the horizon. Inuyasha would be able to spot danger days before it arrived, or gain minutes to whole hours of advantage if the threat was a youkai. The villagers aren't keeping him at a distance, they're treating him like their Lord, giving him the highest ground, the most control over the land -- trusting that he will use it to protect them. It makes Kagome's heart clench with raging pride.

"It's beautiful," Kagome finds herself murmuring as they stand side by side overlooking the village together, the wind shifting their hair about their shoulders.

"Yeah," Inuyasha says, sounding distracted.

His tone makes Kagome shift her gaze over to him but she finds that he's already staring at her. Before he would have turned away with a blush and started spouting some blistering nonsense in order to cover up the fact that he'd been caught, but now he lets himself look. It makes something in Kagome's lower stomach go tight. They take each other in for what feels like a bracketed infinity, the moment sacred somehow, and neither of them are willing to break it. Inuyasha takes a step closer and reaches his clawed hands down to gently collect her smaller ones. He brings her hands up to his chest, cradling them there, not once looking away from Kagome's eyes.

"I promise I'll protect you with my life." Inuyasha declares, his voice low and quiet and meant only for her.

Kagome takes an uneven inhale and her heart skips a beat as she realizes he's repeating the same vow he gave to her in her room the night her family was away at the hot springs all those years ago. It hits her then how utterly hers Inuyasha is, how devoted to her he was in the past and how he has remained that way since. It's his way of telling her nothing has changed. Inuyasha watches this epiphany play out on Kagome's face and his expression softens around the steadiness of his gaze.

"I will allow nothing to take you from me again, and I will never leave your side."

Shuddering in the wake of his oath, Kagome shuffles closer to him and finally says what she's always regretted never telling him directly.  

"I love you Inuyasha," She watches as his pupils drag wide at her confession, "You will always have me, and I will happily spend the rest of my life with you to prove that."

Inuyasha slowly lowers his head until their foreheads touch through the hair of their bangs, his eyes closing as he takes a deep breath in through his nose. Kagome feels a wave of peace come over her then that she finds she's quite content to drown in. She stays like that with him for another moment before pulling away just enough to catch his eye.

"My mother," Kagome hushes and Inuyasha instantly stills, "She asked me to give this to you."

Exactly as her mom did, Kagome extracts her hands from Inuyasha's and reaches for his face, fingers tender as they slide against the warm skin of his jaw. Panic flits across Inuyasha's features then, startled at being handled like he was something precious, and realizing he's horrifically unprepared for whatever is about to come next. Kagome's smile is nothing but fond as she tilts his head down enough so that she's able to lean in and deliver her mother's kiss to his forehead. Inuyasha's hands come up to wrap around her forearms, not to move her away but, Kagome suspects, just to have something to hold on to. His ears flatten under the gravity of the gesture. Kagome closes her eyes and remains there for another beat, before pulling away and lifting his face back up only to touch the tip of her nose to his.

"She also wanted me to tell you that she loves you," She murmurs.

Inuyasha releases a wet sounding exhale and attempts to move away -- overwhelmed by the rawness of all of this, but Kagome holds his face firm and presses on, wanting desperately for him to hear the rest because he deserves to know.

"She said she has always seen you as a son, and is proud to consider you family."

"Kagome," Inuyasha begs, his voice a wobbling mess as he nuzzles closer in defeat, unable to stand the depth of Mrs. Higurashi's gift to him.

After a long moment of them just breathing, he shifts his head and quietly slots their lips together. He releases his grip on her forearms so he can snake his arms around her middle, hands wrapping as far across her back as possible, before pulling her flush against him. Inuyasha keeps the kiss chaste -- utterly humbled. Kagome can only imagine what this must mean to him, and she hazards her mother must have known too.

They stay joined under the warm evening sky as the stars begin to shine through dusk's heavy golden canopy. The sun finally sinks all the way under the horizon, having delayed itself in order to cast as much light as possible onto the pair standing atop the hill -- presenting fate's masterful work to the heavens. A sudden gust of wind picks up around them, and it causes the two to sway a little. Hands clutching tight, lips molding softly, and hair floating around their heads as if submerged in deep water, they know nothing in that moment except each other.

Somewhere far beyond this world, a priestess -- no, an ordinary woman, looks down on Inuyasha and Kagome and smiles.

--

Kagome arranges the light summer quilt Sango lent her over the futon set in the back corner of Inuyasha's hut. She would have to do something (many somethings) in order to make this place livable. A shy glee erupts in her chest at the thought of decorating it, organizing a home for both her and Inuyasha to live in felt surreal to consider even in her own head. She used to daydream about this kind of thing, the fact that she finally gets to fulfill her fantasy -- that it's her life now, takes her breath away.

"Inuyasha?" She calls once she's finished fussing with the quilt, folding one corner down, ready to get into bed.

The hut is dark, the night outside is still, and the fireplace remains unlit so they don't overheat. Kagome tries to swallow the fear cloying up her throat. Ever since she spent a small eternity trapped in endless darkness with the Jewel of Four Souls, she finds she can no longer stand to be alone in the dark. Back in her time, it had to be either her mom, Sota, or Buyo sleeping beside her each night or she wouldn't be able to get any rest at best, and at worst she would descend into an anxiety attack. It wasn't until her grandfather had suggested installing a night light that she was finally able to brave the long nights alone, though she still prefers to have a warm body to cuddle. It was in moments like those that she'd longed for Shippo the most. Once she'd been able to sleep on her own she had the nightmares to contend with, and those always left her feeling as close to true panic as she'd felt when facing Naraku. There are no night lights in the Feudal Era, but Kagome figures she'll be okay as long as she has Inuyasha with her.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome says again, this time unable to keep the quiver of fear out of her voice.

In an instant she feels a rush of air hit her as he drops to a crouch beside her, like he'd bolted to her from across the room.

"Kagome? What's wrong?"

She melts into him and he accepts her weight against his chest easily, strong arms shifting forward to box her in.

"Where were you?" Kagome hopes she doesn't sound as small as she feels.

Inuyasha stills against her for a beat before wrapping his arms around her completely, securing her in his embrace. Kagome accepts this improvement with a grateful sigh.

"Just checking the window." He pauses, then very carefully, asks, "Is...are you alright?"

He sounds worried, crap.

Kagome feels a stab of guilt for freaking him out.

"I'm fine," Kagome assures quickly, "Just, um, I-I'm ready for bed."

Cringing internally, Kagome wonders if that was convincing enough. With that sharp nose of his, she hopes he doesn't pick up on her lingering (but quickly diminishing) fear. How on earth could she convince him to sleep on the futon with her? Surely he won't object? Not after everything that happened between them today?

"Okay, well, I'll uh see you in the morning then," Inuyasha stutters as he begins to untangle himself from her and pull away --

Kagome's panic skyrockets, and before she can say or do anything, Inuyasha must smell the spike in her fear because he immediately winds himself back around her body.

"Woah hey," He hushes, becoming even more alarmed as Kagome all but crawls into his lap.

"I-I can't be alone, at night," Kagome struggles to explain as she takes shelter in his renewed embrace, "The darkness it --,"

She cuts herself off when she feels Inuyasha pillow his cheek against the soft hair at the top of her head.

"I'll hold you till you fall asleep then," He promises in a soft voice, as soft as she's ever heard him speak.

She can feel his words vibrate through his chest, and it calms her nerves some. Kagome wants to argue, wants to push for more -- sleep beside me, hold me all night -- but she doesn't. He doesn't seem to want that, even after promising her he'd never leave her side. Kagome's anxiety gets the better of her and it seals her lips shut. She settles in the circle of his arms and is resolved to be satisfied with this, at least for now, knowing she's much too shaken to negotiate with him tonight. Kagome knows without a shadow of a doubt that she'll wake up the moment he sets her down on the futon, but she doesn't tell him that. Hopefully she can fake being asleep well enough to fool his hanyou senses, and hopefully the knowledge that he's nearby will be enough to stop her from having a full blown episode. If she can hang on till the early hours of the morning, maybe the fragile rays of first light will be enough to cling to. Kagome can admit to herself that she won't be able to maintain this routine for long, but she hopes it lasts until she's plucked up the courage to ask Inuyasha, point blank and without room for misinterpretation, to share her bed.

--

Inuyasha knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight, no way would he risk making Kagome vulnerable to any kind of attack so soon after getting her back. His instincts wouldn't have allowed for any other course of action, and on this front Inuyasha is in rare agreement with his youkai half. But he doesn't expect Kagome to share the same determination. He'd panicked earlier when he smelled how fast and how sharply her fear had spiked. Inuyasha vowed to himself at that moment to never allow her to feel that way in his presence again, not if he could help it. She had held on to him so fiercely, and still is even after hours of being in the safety of his arms. Its like she's afraid he'll leave again. This knowledge makes something in his chest shatter and his gut ache. Unable to stop himself, he rubs his cheek where it rests against the top of her head and takes a deep inhale, letting her scent soothe him. Each time he hears her heartbeat slow and she starts to drift off, he waits a few minutes before trying to lay her down on the futon. Without fail though she's yanked back from sleep every time, as if his touch is vital in order for her to rest. A part of him relishes in this level of dependency on him, his youkai half preening at the fact that his mate --

Inuyasha grunts and stands, unwilling to entertain any thoughts about that, and makes his way swiftly out of the hut and into the mild night. He's careful not to jostle Kagome in his arms too much as he lowers into a measured crouch, and launches himself into the air towards the roof. Landing effortlessly on the balls of his feet, Inuyasha pauses as Kagome sighs in her sleep and twists her fists tighter into the material of his han-juban. Inuyasha blushes to himself thinking about how he had all but tripped out of the hut earlier when Kagome started changing out of her day clothes and into a yukata Sango had lent her in front of him.

With a firm shake of his head he banishes that particular train of thought from his mind, and lowers himself down to sit on the angled roof. After a minute of cautious shifting, he gives up and lies flat on his back, arranging Kagome's sleep-pliant body so she's tucked snuggly between his arm and his side. He tells himself this is different than sleeping on the futon with her, that this isn't breaking any 'rules of propriety' Kagome used to always yell at him about.

Screw it, he thinks, if I get sat for this in the morning it will have been worth it.

Inuyasha tries not to think about how much he sounded like Miroku just now, and grumbles under his breath about stupid delinquent monks and confusing female sensibilities.  

The stars are a dizzying pattern above him, the moon is a sliver in the sky, and Kagome is curled safely into his side with her cheek squished against his chest while one of her leanly muscled arms has thrown itself securely across his waist -- Inuyasha couldn't feel more at peace if he tried. Everything is as it should be. He hasn't felt rightness like this since...well, since Kagome left three years ago. A cool evening breeze floats over them then, shooing away the insistent press of the summer heat, and kisses their temples before moving on. Inuyasha lazily picks apart the different scents the wind carried -- sap from the trees in the forest, ash from the chimneys in the village, wet earth from the banks of the nearby river...he lets it all wash over him, one sensation at a time. He remembers Kagome caught him doing this once years ago, and when she'd asked him about it he'd told her it was kind of like how humans count sheep when trying to fall asleep. A self-soothing exercise is what she concluded it was similar too. Inuyasha didn't elaborate that the habit was an old one he'd developed during his childhood. Back when he was too weak to fight any of the youkai that hunted him, he'd find somewhere to hide and rock himself in time with his breaths, carefully combing through the scents in the air until he was sure the threat had passed. There had been a brief pause before Kagome asked what he could smell, no judgment or disgust, just innocent curiosity and a hint of fascination simmering in the umber of her eyes. No one had ever asked him about his sense of smell like that before. Inuyasha's heart had clenched in his chest, and it does so now as the memory unfolds before him only this time without the promise of pain. Reliving cherished moments of his time with Kagome used to only bring him anguish, but now...

Inuyasha turns his face into Kagome's hairline that's level with his nose, flares his nostrils, and proceeds to take a sleepy inhale. Her scent shoots straight up into his head and a sensation that feels bizarrely like dizziness makes his skull feel light, and his mind feel like its floating. Inuyasha attempts to turn away once the moment passes, but his body refuses to comply. Instead, before he really knows what he's doing, Inuyasha finds himself nosing down her forehead, over the bridge of her nose, past her slightly parted lips, and under her jaw. Kagome mutters something unintelligible in her sleep in response to all of his tender nudging (Inuyasha resolutely ignores the way it makes all of his insides go soft), but ultimately allows her chin to be directed up, exposing her neck to him. Something in Inuyasha flares hot at the action, and he's instantly compelled to guide his nose into the notch of skin between her neck and her jaw. This is what he'd been searching for.

Safe, something inhuman in his head rumbles, only here is safe.

Inuyasha couldn't agree more, Kagome had always been ineffable to him. He had known Kagome by her scent before he'd known her by her features, it's what first caught his attention when Kikyo's spell keeping him pinned to Goshinboku started to falter. Inuyasha hadn't realized it then, but he'd belonged to Kagome the moment she'd told him her name. Inuyasha smiles like a complete love-struck idiot as he remembers the way she had puffed out her chest and demanded that he say her name right.

Ka - Go - Me!

He allows himself to continue grinning like a fool against the skin of her neck because no one's around to mock him for it, and because it feels good to be happy. He's happy --

"Inuyasha..." Kagome suddenly hums, his name on her lips the sweetest thing he'll ever hear.

Inuyasha pulls his face back just far enough to take in her expression, and something glorious surges in him when he finds that she's smiling in her sleep.

--

Phew that was hella soft lol, lemme know what you thought down in the comments below if you'd like! I embellished certain moments a little bit to make them more dramatic bc i couldn't help myself, i hope you didn't mind! Tbh it felt so good to write inukag, like im not gonna lie, I grew up watching the show and it feels a little like coming home to get into these characters' heads. Ok I'm gonna go continue my re-watch of the show now xxx

Masterlist

[uberoll-oystercrackers]

assortment of thoughts i guess?

i fixate pretty heavily on the neuroses present(ly hinted at...) in the characters Lars and Sadie. their anxieties and insecurities are very interesting to me (mooostly bc they are very Relatable). i spend a fair amount of time considering where these social inhibitors started w/ them. of course ppl dont have to survive trauma to be mentally ill, or to have low self esteem... but on the other hand, isn’t surviving low self esteem and poor self image after years and years sort of an elongated microtrauma in itself..? hm idk, should educate myself on that. but we can at least confidently deduce that both charas have been dealing with it since they were quite young (Lars fighting with Ronaldo over how he would be presented in the flashback of Horror Club, Sadie explaining that every new thing she’s been interested in became a chore of a bad memory from her mother’s [well intentioned, but ultimately harmful] over enthusiasm. i at least can imagine that starting and stopping so many interests would leave her with some modicum of guilt, a sense of leaving things unfinished or letting ppl down by not living up to the potential being projected on her) in Sadie’s Song.

personally, my anxiety, depression, and all the other fun flavors i’ve got, were undoubtedly caused by trauma. at bare minimum, the bulk of my disorders were anyway. so while, as i’ve mentioned, perhaps nothing especially traumatic happened to these charas................... some bad shit still def could’ve went down. and uh i cant help but consider those avenues so.

as a fat person who was always a fat kid, when season 1 of SU was airing originally, i always shared a lot of the rejection feelings Sadie would have. if this happened to her on screen, i could reeeeally feel it. i was always worried that it was her size and shape that othered her amongst her peers in Beach City, as she’s polite and helpful enough to get along with most of the town otherwise. when she mentioned to Lars that she knows he doesn’t want to be seen in public with her, i read that as her internalizing not only her “uncool”ness but also her low position within social capital as a young fat woman. her intentional focus on Lars spending time with Jenny, when Lars was hanging out with the Cool Kids as a whole (”After all I do for you, you LIE to me? So you can sneak off with some other girl?!”) was particularly telling. Jenny is taller, thinner, and arguably “curvier” (altho admittedly it feels gross to talk about her like this???)... she’s also undeniably better at a particular way of socializing. The intersections of fatphobia and misogyny seem to be some of the biggest drivers for Sadie’s anxieties/insecurities wrt Lars. This also makes sense bc... remember how Lars talks about women and girls in season one? He was a little spicy, a little raunchy, a little grody about it. Def not a scumfuck or anything but, ya kno, dumb dude shit. Any pre-existing insecurities would def multiply or at least complicate when hearing that from the person who is arguably ur best friend and ur not-so-secret crush.

as an aside here whewwwwww im so glad Sadie and Jenny are becoming friends in current canon it melts my heart <3

so with Sadie at least i s’pose my inferences are relatively safe and simple. Lars is a lot harder to pin down.

im not gonna go too much into this at all bc i am le tired but trans Lars (whether Lars would ID as a woman, a man, or non-binary [they’re all great imo]) headcanons deeeefinitely strike a chord (im an nb person myself so lol).

but also like... did Lars always live in Beach City? His parents don’t have accents like the elders (Kofi and Nanefua) of the Pizza family (who Crewniverse have confirmed the Pizzas are a Ghanaian family), so is there an amount of trauma from moving as a very young kid (let’s say 5-ish)? His parents seem to have a great relationship, their house is warm and decorative, and from what we’ve seen of them they love their son immensely. I can’t particularly see his parents fighting with each other, and the way they approached him (when it was actually Steven...) over his poor grades was very patient and kind... it doesn’t seem like they’re abusing him to any extent.

Back on track here... Is there trauma surrounding his ethnicity living in Beach City, which we can argue is still the U.S.? He referred to the ube roll he made as a “weird purple cake”... but he grew up eating it. His ube roll wasn’t weird to him, but he was very worried about it being weird to a bunch of non-Filipino kids he wanted to impress. Where did this anxiety come from? Who ‘taught’ him his culture was weird? Whose racist ass do I need to beat is what I’m getting at.

edit: didnt mean to b so damn obtuse here, of course his parents dont have to have any type of linguistic/verbal indicators. i was trying to get at the fact that one less indicator is one less piece of evidence (usually), so i dont seem like im taking myself too srsly here lol.

i am sure i have more elaborate thoughts on these issues but my brain is flickering out on me so im just gonna let this be a post i guess!

[brianyololau]

August 10th 2020

I got some mothafucken tea bro. In fact it’s not even tea anymore. It’s monster energy. Dark shit I did not know about till now. ABUSE. CHEATING. PTSD. MANIPULATION. PUSSIES. I realized that my family has made mistakes that back then would be seen as them being pussies and a manipulative cult. Not a great way to start the conversation, but I have a right to be mad because my family has kept secrets from me that I didn’t know until Bao spilled the tea and fingerpainted a canvas for me to see. The dots did not connect till now. Their dad was a cheater, physical abuser, liar, honey dicker, and a playboy. All of the worst things in a guy ... and my family kept that from me. I was told that he and his wife just did bad shit that made them leave, but from what Bao told me, no. Kicking your wife’s hand so hard as she’s reaching for the phone to dial 911 that it broke and hearing her cry out while her daughter heard mustve been the most asshole tier thing I’ve heard on the same level as Eric’s dad. Imagine going to work the next day with a broken hand and not going to the hospital. Bao’s mom’s hand still hurts to this day and she has scars. I learned that their mom had a missing toenail from abuse and had to drive herself to the hospital with her 2 daughters by herself. She got pulled over by a cop and had to ask her children to translate to the cop that she had no one to drive her to the hospital and was driving herself there slowly bc of the pain and bawling to the cop. THE COP LET HER GO. fuck is this shit. The guy that my family said they saw her come home with actually helped her escape from Cali and transition into a new life. Cau Bao used to take the kids to eat pho, come home, and tell their mom to pay him back for the bill. He was living under Cau Long’s roof. So, he and everyone else knew all along. My grandparents were in on this shit too. wtf is this cult family. Who hides stories of abuse from their kids?? I cant believe I grew up thinking Cau Bao was cool af and wanted to be like him. I WANTED TO BE LIKE AN ABUSIVE FATHER? nahhhhhhhh bruh. My mom apologized to my cousins. That was right of her, but she never told me what happened and how common it was to hit ur fucking wife and kids. I was raised under a fucking rug dude. My family kept telling me to forgive my dad and dont make him feel bad, BUT FUCK THAT. Im done trying to give face and move on from other people’s shit that affected you. Things are never going to get BETTER if I dont communicate every toxic thing that has happened. Im only gonna settle for LESS and move on. Frustration is coursing through my mind rn. I cant. I cant because I was manipulated into believing my family was JUST. THIS IS JAIL. Being a bystander means youre part of the problem and thinking it’s okay is just as bad. My cousins’ mom was willing to through 10+ more years of abuse to give her children a mom and dad but wouldnt bat an eye to leave her high paying nail job and possessions to take her kids to Florida when she saw how badly Cau Bao smashed Bao’s head in. Bao told me she had to hide in a closet to avoid being abused too. This is so frustrating to think about. To think that my mom still kept their mom’s drawer that she bought to this day... wtf? get rid of that thing. I see their perspective now. I see the resentment on this family. Why were they keeping secrets from me? THIS WHOLE FAMILY KNEW. IM GOING TO FIND THIS SHIT OUT EITHER WAY. abusive controlling manipulative. I didnt realize our family was like this. And they are telling me to not involve myself with other people’s business other than family?? What about my cousins’ mom? Was she not family? Are we also going to ignore the elephant that was in the room? My grandparents too? the fuck? GOODDDDD DAMN THIS SHIT RUNS DEEP. dead facepalm. what the actual fuck. Then I hear about my grandma telling Bao how she couldnt imagine everything Bao had to go through recalling when Bao said she was so sad living here that she wanted to kill herself at 8 years old? WHAT????? im fuming. there too much fuel and coal rn. I CANT BELIEVE THE FAMILY WAS IN ON THIS. and they still sided with cau bao... is this a cult? no i refuse to live like this. im no longer giving the benefit of the doubt to this extent and walking away. im going in headfirst into where the water runs where it shouldnt be. Ive always felt that my family has mostly been right in their approach with some wrong traditional values. Ive thought Cau Bao was the coolest dude for as long as I can remember till this year and Ive always thought I should tend to not be involved in ppl’s business if it’s not directly affecting me. holy shit I will clap back so fucking hard now. and ill do it because i got standards for family. a real family is what it should sound like. a REAL family.

apart from this unleashed rage, out of all the years ive been living with cau bao, I do acknowledge that he has changed. He loves Bao and Anh so much. He’ll love them till his last breath. 

ive also learned today that Bao is a savage. saw it with my own eyes.

also realized that i cant hold back anymore. hearing the real story of my cousins’ childhood makes me sick to the stomach. My dad, cau vu told me to stop being upset with my dad and just forgive him. cau long told me to just take this as a life lesson. my mom told me i shouldnt feel obligated to and just see it for what it is and move on. HELL NO FUCK THIS SHIT. if i turn another bat’s eye to what a dipshit of a father figure i had was, imma flip shit. im going ham bro. how can i have sympathy when i dont even know what it means to have a dad? i srsly lived with this guy until i was 18 AND I STILL DONT FUCKING KNOW HIM. STORIES DONT COUNT I NEED MEMORIES.

i remember hearing cau long saying if cau bao and his ex wife stayed theyd be good now. For some reason, it made me think no that wouldnt have worked. and then the story unfolded. so no it definitely wouldnt have worked.

[i-amusemyself]

All Emoji Asks.

🐰 what is one secret youve never told anyone?I don't really have that many secrets. I guess theres a side of my personality that I spend a lot of energy supressing like hell that I hate with a passion.💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?Right now? My best friend right next to me or my friend back home.🐹 what are some of your favourite pokemons and why?I mean, I only ever played pokemon go, but from that I loved the squirtles and the evees just bc theyre cute af🌠 if you were in charge of the world what would it be like?A lot more chilled out. Chill pills would be mandatory.👀 what was the most recent vivid dream you had?Okay I had two freaking weird ones the other night?In one I was a 10 y/o muslim girl going to a new primary school and while I was there I started raising money for a cancer charity.In the other I was taking a really hard A level maths exam and getting stressed and mad bc everyone kept talking and I couldnt finish it in time.☀ what do you like most about your best friend?EVERYTHING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Idk, I guess how forgiving and layed back she is. She always tries to understand and see things from your point of view.😘 talk about your crush or partnerLmao I'm alone 😂 I do have a crush but its a million miles from mutual so like, shes amazing but boi it hurts 😂💁 if someone was rude to you would you be rude back?Depends on how well I know them and what they're like tbh. I'll banter, but I avoid confrontation.🌟 what do you like about yourself? (3 things)😂😂😂 wow erm...1. I always try and put in all the energy I have if someone/something needs it2. I make loads of terrible puns its gr93. I really dont have any other qualities idk🐾 what are you scared of most? How will you overcome it?👏 I'm terrified of abandonment 👏 aaaand as of yet I have no idea how to deal with it ngl🎁 what never fails to make you happy?Really good stand up commedy or my favourite music💙 what annoys you about some people?Their complete lack of self-awareness. Idk, maybe I'm low key jealous too but srsly some people????😤 do you get angry easily?Yeah. I keep pretty good tabs on it so you probs wouldnt know it, but if something upsets me, chances are I'm hella pissed too.🐇 what do you always daydream about?Dramatic and upsetting situations or drunk situations 😂🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?1. Sort out equality and all that jazz2. Divide up the land more equally, bc it pisses me off that some people are living in tiny cramped shacks and others have 100 mile square farms.3. End capitalism and with that make all necessary services free.🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?Anon?✈ what is your dream city and why?I mean Ive always wanted to go to copenhagen but theres no guarantee its gonna be my fave. My fave so far is Amsterdam bc its so peaceful and the architecture is to die for.☕ talk about your ideal day?Spend it with my best friend/crush. Lay in bed late and be lazy and watch good TV/movies. Maybe go out in the afternoon to not go stir crazy and entertain ourselves. Stay up kinda late talking about deep shit, lying underneath the stars.🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?Ambivert!💧 when was the last time you cried?Yesterday lmao 😂 i havent gone more than 2 days without crying in the past week 😧 I just got myself into a nice Depression Episode.🎵 name 5 songs you like atm?Argh I havent listened to music in so long (7 days...) umm so things i wanna listen to- youth by daughter- voices by Motionless in white- living dead girl by rob zombie- corpse roads by keaton hensen- lost boy by troye sivan⚡ if you had any superpower what would it be and why?Mind reading bc my anxiety would be halved.💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?I'd tell myself to stop trying to fit in and be like everybody else because the people I know are just a tiny portion of the population and really aren't much to aspire to. I'd tell myself to drop all my shitty friends because it would stop me from dealing with a lot of crap later on. I'd point myself in the right direction of the better people 😂I'd teach myself how to stand up for myself and how to not take any crap.And I'd give myself a hug and tell myself it's okay not to be cishet, because maybe if I could turn back time and start to deal with it earlier I'd be okay with it now.💚 who are you jealous of and why?A lot of people really, with qualities I don't have.I suppose one kid in particular is like, everything i want to be. Kind, hillarious, confident, close to people I love. 💎 what would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? Why?Bravery or kindness?? Its hard to have one without the other. Also beauty ngl bc im fugly.🙊 what are you ashamed of?My gender and sexuality 👏🌺 which languages do you know? Which do you want to learn?I know english and spanish and I'm learning Danish. Hopefully once I'm okay at danish I can learn arabic. Ill be satisfied after that 😂☘ if you could be any fictional characters friend/lover who would it be and why?I mean, theres plenty of fictional lesbians where im like 😏👀 but honestly if I had to pick only one person I'd choose Kieren Walker from in the flesh bc he needs a friend and I relate to him so strongly.☁ talk about your dream universe.Mental and physical illness doesnt exist. People arent dicks. Everything is free. No one feels unloveable.💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?Idk I'm p much done for the day 😂 I've been helping out around the house all day tho🐬 if you could transform into any animal what would it be and why?I mean i might be biased but either a dog or a sloth bc they get to sleep all the time 😂🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike.Someone I was best friends with for 4 years suddenly turned around and stabbed me in the back, made up shit about me, arranged that all my friends not talk to me for a fortnight, sent group emails stuffed with emotional manipulation and blamed me for her suicidal thoughts. I nearly ended it. Now I get to watch my friends still loving her like she isn't the world's most heartless person. It makes my blood boil.😣 talk about something that has been making you depressed/angry/anxious.I'm staying with my best friend rn and I can't stand the thought of going home.🍪 what did you want to be as a kid and what do you want to be now?I wanted to be a nurse and now I wanna be a doctor 👏 variety 👏🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?I cant really eat sugar 😂 so fuck knows? Chocolate?🍑 what are you obsessed with?Brains, thought processes, psychopaths, graveyards and more 😂💘 what happens to you when youre stressed?I just get really emotional and start agressively making lists everywhere in an attempt to sort my life out.😪 what are you sick of?Humanity.🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?Yeah its terrible 😂 i hate anxiety but I also kinda love it when my heart races.💥 what are some unpopular opinions you have?I....dont? I cba with discourse lifes too short.☔ would you consider yourself a good person?I think anyone with good intentions is usually a good person so yeah😊 what do you do as hobbies?Sleep, binge watch netflix and blog 😂🎤 whats the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?👏👏👏 Mr Brightside 👏👏👏 what a jam 👏👏👏🐝 whats your worst trait?Being waaayyy too clingy.🌷 whats your mbti personality type and why do you think it suits you?ISFJ and yeah defo, its the defender and I feel that tbh🐶 send me 3 fictional people and ill choose my favourite.Anon?👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?Kaitlyn Alexander is my bae.Besides that I dont really....obsess over any celebrities? Eliza taylor is doing p good 😂 ummm also some youtubers? Do they count?🐴 opinion on __?Its a great bit of punctuation.🍋 do you consider yourself to be an emotional person?Lmfaoooooo YES📚 share 3 books you love and your favourite quotes from them.M8. Thats not gonna happen 😂 I love any book that makes me cry but I cannot quote a single word.😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? Does it work?Find a quiet corner, shut my eyes and listen to my Depression Playlist. It doesn't always make me feel better but it helps me ride it out.🙂 what thoughts keep you going when you're sad?The thoughts of uni and that I'll hopefully meet some great new people. Also my best friend. Just in general 😂🌎 which country do you live in?England.🐧 describe yourself in 3 words?Awkward, tall and shy.🙉 what quotes changed you?"Pick your fights" bc as much as its a meme it helps me chill outAlso "everything is temporary" and "the sun will rise and we will try again".💭 do you keep a diary?I have a personal blog which acts as a diary yeah💫 who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander!! (Listen theyre like the first nb representation I ever knew and I relate so much to everything they say and theyre so cute and talented)👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?I mean, my initial response is no. Because we're just bags of flesh made up of cells and when we die those cells die so theres nothing to live on.But tbh we know so little about the universe I'm open to the possibility of anything at this point.🎀 whats your fashion sense like?Dior. I know what clothes I like and think look good but I never like them on me.🎬 what are some of your favourite films?Deadpool, My sisters keeper, pitch perfect 2 ermm🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?UmmmmmmmmmmmmWhen I first got my bunny, that was an amazing day!!🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?Um my soulmate? Where are they at?

[yuzuria]

Bnha for the 1 and komahina for the 2!

001 | bnha

Favorite character: kacchan!! i havent gotten around in bnha lately but hes still my number one angry sonLeast Favorite character: the grape pervert i forgot the name, monota? mineta?5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): i dont srsly ship any of these but i enjoy some like kiribaku (yebc of u) momojirou is cute!! todomomo dekuraka (tfw ur str8) and tododeku Character I find most attractive: hatsume and momo!! also /sweaty/ midnightCharacter I would marry: maybe momo i adore her a lot Character I would be best friends with: uraraka!!! the sweetest summer child. id rly love to be in their group tbh iida (?) and deku are cool tooA random thought: i need to relearn their names and catch up. i stopped reading at ch 69 (yes i did that in purpose so i can remember)An unpopular opinion: hmm not rly i dont even know whats popular or not My canon OTP: is there one? hm nahNon-canon OTP: nahMost badass character: iwant kendou itsuka to kick me and step on me and make me her personal punching bagPairing I am not a fan of: teachers/teachers and don’t ever tell me teacher/students existsCharacter I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): i still don’t rly know yet !Favourite friendship: are deku and kacchan’s mom besties or was that just a hc? if not then for the main trio and momojirou

002 | komahina

when or if I started shipping it. my thoughts: okay so i think i’ve known them since 2013, i was a lurker and had seen stuff of them. i even had a bad impression of them bc said materials let me saw the “fanon komahina” with crazy stalker ko x tsun maso hinata so i stayed away as much as possible from that order (till now tbh it scarred me). then dr3 happened ! i invested a lot of time while dr3 was airing to get to know them and spoiled myself to the majority of sdr2, i was in denial in that period tbh bc i was dissatisfied with their rship in sdr2 bc of the lack of closure and how i believed hinata won’t ever return komaeda’s feelings (as how i put it before when i still didnt know better) it’s almost hilarious i was in denial i ship them while i read their top fics in ao3, 100k word fics included, every night then wake up and tell the world nope! i dont ship them! then it just happened, the denial decreased, i started to read more abt sdr2, followed ppl and read their thoughts about komahina, kibou hen already ended, occasional rts (spams) their art in twitter then before i knew it, i never expected myself to like komahina but im in here deep

What makes me happy about them: how do i even start… i had to sort through my memory bc almost all of their canon interactions make me sad. ok first thing i love how one’s smile has impact to the other, of how hinata thinks ko’s smile is calming and drives his worries away and how painful it was for komaeda to remember hinata’s that implies to weigh equally as his death in sdr2.5 ( this is sad and not happy wtf ) hinata wanting to understand komaeda, komaeda feeling serenity when he’s with hinata, the dangan island scenes!! the ridiculous ones with “i don’t mind if you want to see me naked”, hinata taking komaeda to a carousel, komaeda being nervous around hinata when he noticed they’re alone, hinata never expressed disgust or called ko “creepy” in canon unlike the others where he thinks komaeda being confusing. and hinata reaching out to take komaeda’s hand twice in sdr2.5 

What makes me sad about them: everything in sdr2 wtf? one, there’s so many unsaid things between them in canon, like komaeda saying less about his feelings when there’s more to it, him lying about lying about his condition in his last fte and hinata’s confused and frustrated over that? he didn’t know which are true or not and he simply can’t figure it out alone. komaeda and their hostile situation are definitely not helping. also where he shrugs off thoughts that could lead him understanding komaeda’s true feelings as “overthinking” especially in chapter 5. but in the end of his fte, hinata acknowledges he feels a mysterious bond with him which is true, of how they look after each other in a way after everything and other else.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: i back off before i start to read those i think are gonna annoy me but i hate myself and i still checked so here are some,

-the fanon komahina mentioned above goes here without a doubt-the crack fics that spam and flood their tag… like really? shrekmaeda? trumpmaeda? s*mmer l*ve???-the “uwu so pure cant hurt everyone! pls protect me hinatakun” komaeda and “hide in my arms babe im here for u” hinata-just. very aggressive and clingy komaeda.-violent dom/sub, noncon, hate sex-shsl slut hinata-kun-fucking komaeda who’s stuttering every single time

Things I look for in fanfic: i’m up to anything! tbh i’ll accept any post dr3 where they’re happy or alternative post sdr2 where it’s angsty with pent up emotions and both of them have to deal with a lot of things left from the simulation (im disappointed sdr2.5 didnt give us drama :0 ) or just simple fluff aus good for the soul. angsty aus bc sadness is never enough to me. canon divergence!! im happy to see some twists made within sdr2… and dr3 please. 

My kinks:  komahina being passionate with each other : ‘  D

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: non Non No. this ask got very long do you think i even have the time to imagine either of them without the other… well there’s kamukoma, technically it doesn’t count, and that’s it

My happily ever after for them: komahina moving on from ordeals together finally reached a complete understanding, they might still hit a rocky road along the way but they have each other to rely on. that s cheesy, most probably, but please

[aspaceform3]

26 of October:

It's the last Thursday of the month,

Taylor swift album is about to drop,

Everyone is meeting her and reading their stories is the only thing that kept me going.

Life feels like different levels of a game,

there's the 20's that I'm in, being not as hard as it seem but definitely difficult to me.

Somedays I wake up early, but that doesnt keep me away from bed. I try every single damn day.

One day I'll wake up and just keep going without a second thought.

Speaking about one day's, i'm grateful for my new friends.

They make me feel free. Taylor was right again.

It hurts you bleed you stare you wish and then, you heal. And you feel free.

There's nothing compared to see them around me loving me screaming out loud dancing this streets we all hate and thinking i wish this night will never end every weekend.

Socializing helps me, i need an assistant as i have way too many things to do and a depression to battle up.

Love is weird. Love is not what ive been told. Love is not a partner. Love is a life buddy.

One that will like to fight with you through think and thin, one wich will not give up on you wether you cried on a bathtub or laid for hours in a floor doing nothing just because.

Love is not love letters and chocolates. Love is being there. Always. No matter what.

I was scared i wouldnt find anyone due to my mental illnesses, finally realized the one that loves me must take care of that. I dont wanna run away the next time.

Sometimes I feel like I like you, others like i hate you.

I hate how i said i didnt feel a thing and i hate hiding and i hate why in the morning all seems right but then at night i just dont wanna give up.

I never wanna leave.

I stare while you overlook.

I stare while you don't look.

I stare while you smile and I stare while you drive and all i can think is

"there he goes again the boy i'm in love with."

Hiding.

I'm 22, i dont want anything serious there's so many boys i havent touched so many stories i havent listen so many kisses i havent tasted.

yet still, none of the ones i did in the past got even a glimps of you in them.

I'm scared of this feelings and im scared of what can happen and im hella fucking scared of losing you and I swear if you decide to die without me telling you the right words i will fucking tattoo you name on my butt.

(ha ha, yep, i was trying to be funny.)

(But like srsly dont you dare fuck)

I miss Irene, I miss happiness, I miss so many things.

I hope life keeps treating me well.

December 5th:

5 days away from my 23 brithday. I don't feel like it, it doesnt feel like it i dont want to feel like it.

Past 2 years have been a total blur that only holds memories of me wishing for you and me fighting through my darkest demons.

As always, sleeping.

Im trying, i keep trying, at least know I know why i should try. Still dont know why I do.

I'm holding on to when I will feel like myself again. At home. When all will be fine. Will make sense.

I'm hoping this new year brings me good, cause ive learn what I deserve and its not even in this universe. I deserve so much more.

He didnt taste like love. Not even like lust. I kissed him with open eyes and saw you walk by. You were hidding. For a second I wanted you to see me, so youd feel and wake up. But thats not you, you dont feel for me and I wont feel for you anymore.

Or thats what I'm trying.

I still remember you everyday and

replacing this towns streets with new memories dont feel alright.

February 23th

I've lost hair, lost new friends, lost myself and gained hate.

I can't focus, I can't eat, all i want to do is dream.

I don't find joy in dancing, laughing, going out or even breathing.

Feeling alive is costing me more every single day.

But i've gained some things that keep me going. Ive learned I'm autistic, i've learnt I need medication to survive, I've learnt what my family has been feeling all this time and I gained them back.

We're trying, thinking about how horrible they must feel having their 23 year old daughter stuck at home crying has to be difficult.

I don't see myself when I reflect in a mirror. Ive totally lost it. What I'm thinking about is not what I believe in. Some of my teeth have rotten due to my bad sleeping habits and bruixism. Ive lost my ferula too.

My jaw doesnt move how its supossed to, it hutrst when I speak.

I dont pay atenttion to green lights in the street because everything is distracting me.

I dont find being social enjoyable I feel terribly sad and i cant stop thinking about how much is everything costing money wise and how much of a burden i feel.

Im not a burden. I know Imm an amazing person and everyone i have in my life loved me but I cant see the good.

Im blinded by depression.

Im stuck bc my adhd.

But I keep going with my diagnosis and thats what i'm up to.

I miss you but I don't. Because I know the idea that I have of you is not the real you. A heartbreak is nothing compared to what I'm dealing with and I guess you and i separating finally got into everything i was dealing with and i collapsed.

this is not a poem anymore. Is a time to time recap.

And this one is no bueno.

27th of August, a poem:

It’s the last Sunday of the month, i’ve been in bed all day watching romantic comedies, wishing for the sky to rain.

my back up friend is leaving in two days, the only thing i can do to relieve the pain is touching myself.

Long live to orgasms!

…I miss having sex. …and a group of real friends. Fuck.