#I did fix the colors a bit since posting it on twitter last night lol sorry twt followers

[cinnamnt]

read the book recently so ive got it on the mind… no other campy zombie rom com version of romeo and juliet in 2013 could compare tbh

[lovemesomesurveys]

When was the last time you wanted to wear something but it was still ‘in the wash’ or ‘not yet dried’? I wanted to wear my Baby Yoda/Grogu Christmas sweatshirt on Christmas, but it didn’t end up getting washed.

Any new subjects for the upcoming school year? I’m not in school anymore.

Last time you got a haircut? Back in February of last year. Almost a year ago now.

Have you ever rode Business Class? No.

Paris, Texas or Paris, France? Paris, France, please.

How much time/percentage is left on your laptop battery? It’s at 100% because it’s plugged in.

Do you like to know how things are made? Yeah, a lot of it is interesting.

Care to post the most recent tagged picture of you on Facebook? No.

HAVE YOU WATCHED BRUNO YET!?  I saw the first one. I don’t have any interest in seeing the new one.

Is there any song that’s stuck in your head?  Not at the moment.

What does your school bag look like?  --

Is it anyone’s birthday today? I’m sure it’s a lot of people’s birthday today, but no one I know.

With your guy friends, are you known as a girl or a buddy? I don’t have any friends.

Do you own a foam finger? No.

Where was the last place you dined in with your friends? It’s been a few years since the last time I did that, so I don’t recall. Yes, I actually used to have friends and I actually used to go out. *gasp*

Name all the websites on your bookmark toolbar here! Google, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube, and Pinterest. 

Have you actually ever eaten a wedding cake? Yes.

Gotcher back to school outfit yet? Or do you just don’t care? --

Do you get email updates from Urban Dictionary?  No.

Do you think some babies are ugly? Aw, that’s mean.

Don’t you miss Chuck E. Cheese? Aw, those were fun times as a kid.

Do you think Fall Out Boy is gonna be a classic band, like Queen or AC/DC?  I don’t know. 

Do you love stuff crusted pizza? I don’t eat the crusts, so.

Is Lil Wayne all that he’s cracked up to be? I like some his features and songs.

Who are you usually attracted to in bands, the singer, the guitarist, bassist, or drummer? I wasn’t attracted to many band guys, honestly. 

Do you apply lotion after you bathe? No. I should.

What’s your favorite color? Pastels, rose gold, mint green, coral, and yellow.

Who did you have your most amazing kiss with?  Joseph.

Have you ever hugged a stranger?  No.

What’s a random act of kindness you have done to help a stranger? I’ve given money to homeless people.

Has a Youtube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views? Ha, no. What’s a fear you’ve conquered? Hmm. I don’t know.

Have you ever hugged someone for over a minute? Yeah.

Have you ever received a homemade card from someone?  Yes.

Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? No.

Do you like Robert Frost poems?  I only know one.

Do you go to church every Sunday?  Yes. I attend via livestream. 

Ever had a drunken night in Mexico or Las Vegas? Nope.

Have you ever been to Arkansas?  No.

Where would you go on a road trip with your best friend? There’s so many places I’d love to travel to.

Do you know anyone with Harry Potter glasses?  Growing up I had the round frames.

Longest you’ve ever stayed on the phone? Houuuurs. I used to talk to my best friends in elementary and middle school on the phone for-fucking-EVER. I’m not sure of the longest bit of time though. <<< Haha, I actually used to do that, too, which is so shocking because I hate talking on the phone now. I kinda did that in high school the first two years a few times, but after that something switched and I never wanted to talk on the phone. It became just text me or message me online.

Have you ever been in a relationship on and off for more than a year?  Joseph and I, whatever it was we had going on, was off and on for a few years. We never were officially together, but we had something going on and it would seem it was going in that direction but then nope.

What about just for a year straight?  Like I said, it went on for 3 years.

Do gangs scare you?  I mean, yeah...

Have you met a best friend on a cruise before?  I’ve never been on a cruise.

How many high schools are in your city/town?  Like 4.

If offered, would you want to go to fashion week in Paris? Can I just have the trip to Paris?

If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Writing. 

What are your thoughts on fake reality television? I’m a sucker for reality TV. *shrug*

Would you want to own your own island? Nah. I’m good with my Animal Crossing Island lol. <<< Ha, same.

Who killed John Bennet Ramsey?  Her brother is kinda sus. I could see it being a situation where the family covered up for him because he was just a child. Or, perhaps one of the parents. Again, it being an accidental situation and they just covered it up.

What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? I don’t think about it. 

Do you even like politics? I don’t like it, but I try to follow it at least somewhat because it is important and affects all of us. It’s stressful and overwhelming and confusing, though, so I don’t follow it as closely as maybe I should.

Have you ever seen a guy wearing hoop or dangling earrings? Yeah.

What’s it like at raves? I’ve never been. I’ve never had any desire to go to one.

Do you do a nice Scottish accent?  I can’t do any accents.

Do you think that all people in England have really bad teeth?  No? That’s an awful stereotype.

What is your state nickname (The Golden State, The Cheese State, etc)? The Golden State.

Would you rather lose your best friend or your boyfriend? I’d rather not lose anyone in my life, thanks.

Do you think people who pay hundreds of dollars on perfume are ridiculous? Spend your money on what you want, but I don’t spend that much on perfume. I think it’s crazy how expensive they can be. 

What is the last thing you tried on in a store? A jacket. That’s the only thing I ever try on because I can easily just put it on real quick right there and it doesn’t require much. I never try on clothes or anything otherwise. 

Do you know who Georgia Nicholson is?  Nope.

Do you ever sleep through your alarm? It happens. Thankfully, it hasn’t happened for anything important in a long time, but I sometimes set alarms when I don’t want to sleep in too late or I want to try and get up by a certain time for whatever reason and oftentimes I just end up hitting snooze or turning it off.

What is the dominant color in the room you’re in?  There’s a lot of colors going on.

Do you think Sophia Bush is a good actress? I’ve only seen her in a couple things, I think.

When did you realize you are no longer a child?  I’m not sure if it was one specific moment. 

Is sleeping naked more comfortable then in clothes?  Noo, not for me. I don’t feel comfortable naked.

Does your best friend wear makeup? Yeah.

Who is someone you do not understand at all?  Myself. What is your morning routine? When I get up, I take my medicine and lie around for awhile checking social media and whatnot before finally dragging myself outta bed for coffee. 

Have you already met your true love?  No.

Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone?  Yeah.

Do you prefer to fix the problems or just end the relationship? I would want to try and work on things first. I wouldn’t just end a relationship right away because we had a problem. Now, if we had a lot of problems and nothing was getting resolved or it just wasn’t working out even after trying to work on things, then it would be time to end the relationship. But you’re going to experience problems in a relationship, you can’t expect not to. It’s how you go about them.

Have you ever accidentally stepped on a cat tail?  Not a cat, but a dog. I always feel like the worst person in the world whenever I’ve accidentally done that with their tail or paw. Gahhh. And my doggo (and my previous doggos) acts like she did something wrong and snuggles up next to me and is all lovey and it’s like, ‘nooo, I’m the evil one here you didn’t do anything wrong you precious angel!’

Did they meow really loud? They let out a yelp.

Do you ever go to Plyrics.com?  I’m sure that was one of the sites I used back in the day for lyrics. Nowadays I just quickly Google a song and the lyrics pop right up.

Did you know that when a worm is cut in two both pieces grow again and continue living?  Jlkfjkdfjl ew yes I’ve heard that. That gives me the creeps just thinking about it, thanks for ending on that note....

[wondersbeyondcompare]

Finally finished up Kodi’s profile and a simple character sheet! ( ´ ▽ ` ) Berenice might take a bit longer... most of her first profile was filled with ??? after all...

Full Profile+Additional Sketches are below!

(Before I get into anything, just wanna say that the main inspiration behind this boi was this one Twitter post about cuttlefish that I found really cute back then  (altho he’s not venomous lol). Plus (・_・;) Youtube recommended me an hour long documentary on the animal, and I ended up watching all of it, so then I became even more attached...)

Full Name: Kodi Sepiama

Name Meaning: Tbh, I just read this sentence from the Wikipedia article on cuttlefish: “The "cuttle" in cuttlefish comes from the Old English name for the species, cudele, which may be cognate with the Old Norse koddi (cushion) and the Middle Low German Kudel (rag)”,and the rest was history; His last name is a combination of the scientific name for the giant cuttlefish (Sepia apama)

Dorm: Octivanelle

Twisted Off Of: Nothing (He’s based off of a cuttlefish though)

Year: 2nd Year

Birthday: April 07 (Aries)

Age: 17 years old

Height: 1.77m/5’10”

Place of Origin: Village of Harvest

Voice Headcanon: Miwa Takahiro

Personality: 

Tends to have delusions of the grandeur when it comes to imagining his ideal school life. A very expressive boy who wears his heart on his sleeve. As a result, he has significant trouble hiding how he feels, both on his face and through his actions. Due to his unique magic Kodi has a very weak presence compared to most people, and, although he’s eager to make friends with everybody, he mostly goes unnoticed by his peers. As with most Octivanelle students, he’s often tasked by Azul with one errand or another, but he manages to keep up a (mostly) optimistic attitude in spite of all his work. 

Will carry out any of Azul’s orders no matter how questionable they may seem, acting as a pawn to the dorm leader’s chess board by gathering info on other students around the school undetected. He’s a smart guy when it comes to academics, but since people like Azul and Riddle are in his grade, his ranking isn’t as high as he would want it to be. His common sense, however, is a different story.

Likes: Akashiyaki, tending to both animals and plants, anything that keeps him busy, basketball, art, buying new watercolor sets, aquariums, his friends, crossing things off his to-do list

Dislikes: The cowardly part of himself, his unique magic, oranges, disappointing others, when people forget about him

Background: 

Despite being an Octavinelle student, Kodi grew up in an environment where most spent their days tending to the land: The Village of Harvest. The boy was a result of his mother having a romantic summer encounter with a cuttlefish merman on one of her rare trips to the beach, therefore his father wasn’t really in the picture when he was growing up. However, his mother didn’t hold any resentment towards his father, often speaking fondly of the man and the memories she held of him. 

He was raised by his mother and her family on a small farm in the area. Because of this, Kodi never really felt lonely when he was younger, having been surrounded by his many relatives most of his life. It is from them did he learn practical skills when it came to both farming and everyday life, such as how to take care of plants and animals, how to cook healthy meals, etc. The village in general was a tight knit and welcoming community, so it also wasn’t uncommon for Kodi and his cousins to play with the children of other families and even stay over for dinner at different houses once they ran out of steam. One of his best friends was Epel, whom Kodi happily regarded as a little brother figure since most of his cousins were older than him. 

As a child, Kodi was much more stoic than his current self, taking after his mother. It wasn’t as if he were shy or traumatized into being emotionally guarded, but rather it was physically difficult for him to show emotions. His face nor his voice would hardly change regardless of how strong of an emotion he was feeling. It was because of this did some of his peers think he was cold, especially when it came to situations that involved sympathy, but his personality didn’t hurt his reputation that much. 

It is only when his magical abilities began to kick in did Kodi notice a drop in attention being paid to him. Since his unique magic involved blending in with his surroundings, this caused his overall presence to become weaker as well.  Sometimes his friends would forget about him during their games (especially if they were playing hide and seek), other times his relatives would forget to set a plate for him at the dinner table; it wasn’t as if he was forgotten about completely, but these little hiccups really hurt his self esteem. It was because of this did Kodi begin to act out to get a little more attention, but he still went unnoticed. Eventually Kodi gave up and resorted to learning different ways to improve himself. He thought if he worked hard enough in a variety of areas, then surely he will get the recognition he deserves. Maybe he might even get lucky and get to go study at Night Raven College, becoming a famous magician after completing his studies at the magic school. He upped his athleticness by playing basketball with his cousins, created arts and crafts with Epel, and studied hard in school to pass his classes. 

When the carriage came to take him away to NRC, Kodi was overjoyed. Well, it didn’t really show on his face because, :/ y’know, but he was shaking a lot from excitement when they placed him inside his coffin.

He didn’t really think much of which dorm he wanted to be placed in. Despite having little to no expectations, Kodi couldn’t help but be a little surprised when he got sorted into Octavinelle. He was aware of his mother’s encounter with the merman, but he thought she was telling him some sugar coated story to explain the absence of his dad. In fact, he was still skeptical of his mother’s tale until he accidentally fell into the large tank just outside the dorm’s lounge after he was done feeding the fish. Having grown up in a place not near any large bodies of water, Kodi didn’t think he needed to know how to swim, and, boy, did he regret it as he sunk deeper and deeper into the water. He blacked out once he ran out of oxygen, but when he came to, Kodi found himself as a cuttlefish laying on the tank’s floor. It took him an embarrassingly long time to figure out how to turn back into human afterwards.

Kodi came in contact with Azul early in his first year since they had a lot of the same classes, as well as the same dorm, together. However, it wasn’t until the start of his second year did Kodi decide he'd had enough of being ignored and that he wanted to sign a contract with Azul to fix his circumstances. His exact wish involved being able to express his emotions more freely as he believed that was the root of his problem. Azul agreed to help him out so long as Kodi did him a little favor that would “better acquaint him with the students on campus”. Thinking nothing of Azul’s vague wording, Kodi accepted his offer and became the overly expressive boi he is today. In exchange, he was to gather information on all the students on campus and create a basic profile on each person that was to be put into a catalogue held by Azul, just so this octopus man knew the type of clients he was going to be dealing with. For the first time, Kodi felt what it was like for fear to contort his face. 

As of now, Kodi wears two mood bracelets around his wrists as physical proof of his contract. The bracelets change colors depending on what mood he’s in, but he tries to hide them under his sleeves out of embarrassment (you could still see how he feels on his face tho… (￣^￣) ). In addition to bending to Azul and the Leech brothers’ whims, he found himself helping out in a little smuggling business within the school, sneaking in certain outside goods that are hard to get on campus through a network of students. Kodi was assigned to deliver the packages in a secretive way, usually using his unique magic to his advantage. At first he was skeptical to join, but after being convinced that it wasn’t technically against school rules and that it wouldn’t take up much of his time, Kodi was on board with the idea. 

Kodi also tried to keep in touch with Epel once the latter joined NRC, but the first year often regards him with disdain, thinking he’s become less cool when he entered his second year. But they’re still decent friends and sometimes have lunch together when their schedules match up. Kodi has attempted to befriend Majid due to him being a first year like Epel, visiting Scarabia to have a chat with him every once and awhile. Majid initially tried to reject him, but eventually became placated when Kodi began to bring snacks he made whenever he came to visit. Kodi doesn’t know how to act around Berenice and is lowkey kind of scared of her since she’s part ghost. He still acts friendly enough towards her though.

(Side Note: I kinda came up with his story before playing Chapter 3, and I’m not entirely sure what would happen to Kodi after all of (･_･;) that happened with all of the other students’ contracts. If Kodi’s contract had the same fate, his mood bracelets would probably become inactivated and go back to those cheap ones you get at souvenir shops. Kodi would still be expressive as always, yet would go back to having his old RBF when he’s not thinking about anything in particular. Or we could pretend that his contract was forgotten about in the chaos (￣∇￣) continuing with the running theme of him being forgotten…).

Powers: 

Unique Magic (Hide-Away): This ability enables Kodi to seamlessly take upon the appearance of his surroundings, whether it involves becoming a part of the wall or a large potted plant. His generally weak presence enhances this ability as well. He has tried to imitate the appearances of other people, however, his unique magic doesn’t seem to accomodate for that type of mimicry. :’) Back to being a part of the wall he goes.

Cuttlefish Transformation: Due to being a quarter cuttlefish, he can only become fully human or fully cuttlefish. There is no in between. Gets kind of jealous whenever he sees Jade and Floyd switch into their merman forms during their visits to The Sea of Corals. Sometimes customers can catch a glimpse of cuttlefish Kodi swimming around the huge tank in Mostro Lounge, testing out his recently discovered form. 

Stunning Hypnosis: Doesn’t really use this ability until he’s forced to. Whenever Kodi finds he’s in a tough situation, he can make his eyes mimic the hypnotic light show cuttlefish would normally display on their skin, his irises quickly shifting between different colors as he does so. This ability temporarily stuns his victim for about one to five minutes, giving him enough time to do whatever he needs to do.   

Trivia: 

He had curled all his hair for his high school debut, but somehow half of it got flattened during his time in the coffin on his way to NRC. Kodi tried to frantically fix it before the entrance ceremony in the bathroom until a random upperclassman complimented his “daring” hairstyle. He was so flattered that he kept doing his hair like that for the rest of the year. 

Both Jade and Floyd tend to tease him about him not being able to turn into a merman. It didn’t bother him that much until they started tossing him around in his cuttlefish form like some terrified beach ball on one of their ocean visits. 

Was tempted to join the Magishift club at first but decided otherwise when he fell off his broom in the first meeting. No one noticed, but he was embarrassed all the same. Switched over to the basketball club because he was more familiar with the sport. (*wheeze* kodi no basuke) 

The shirt he wears with his Octavinelle uniform was given to him by his grandmother, saying that he would look so nice and sophisticated wearing it at school; he was personally reluctant to take it at first, but you can’t say no to grandmama

He so desperately wants to be relied upon that he’s willing to do almost anything to gain others’ respect; this often leads him to being a huge pushover tho

Can be scarily protective over the people he cares about; works from the background to make sure offenders get some kind of karma for what they’ve done

A good majority of his peers and upperclassmen who he knew in his first year became genuinely concerned when Kodi did a complete 180 in his second year; some worried he hit his head the wrong way and offered to take him to the hospital; others just gradually  accepted this new Kodi; besides, it’s nice to see a huge smile finally cross his face when he gets excited about something for once

[softyoongiionly]

Fear and Dumplings: Chapter Five

Confronting your fears for a final grade sounds unappealing but, with Yoongi as your partner, things might not be so bad.

Summary: You’re in your final semester at University when your Abnormal Psychology professor assigns you a partnered project surrounding your greatest fears. Lucky for you, your partner just so happens to be a cute boy named Min Yoongi.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Genre: College Au, Underground Rapper! Yoongi, Soft!!! Yoongi, Fluff!!!, some moderate angst (later), smut (later later), slow-ish? burn

Word Count: 5.7k

A/N: AHHHHH the overwhelming tension! I hope you guys like this one😊

Warnings for this Chapter: mentions of fear, anxiety, swearing (obviously), suggestive language, gut wrenching tension, slight angst.

Warnings for the Fic: mentions characters confronting their fears, characters in uncomfortable situations, emotional moments between characters, mentions of bad parenting, explicit language throughout the fic, moderate angst, and very explicit smut later in the story.

Chapter 5: Ferris Wheels and Friendship?

The next morning you woke up to an incessant buzzing that seemed to come from underneath your pillow. Squinting away the morning sun and cursing yourself for not shutting the window before you fell asleep; you take a look at your phone and, see that Jimin is calling you.

“Morning.” You croak, pulling your fuzzy throw blanket up over your figure.

“Morning Sleeping Beauty,” Jimin’s fairy voice twinkles through the speaker, a giggle on the tail end of his words “Did I wake you up?”

“Always.” There’s a bite to your tone but, Jimin’s knows better than to take it seriously. “What’s up?”

“It’s Friday.” He sing-songs and your eyes shoot open in alarm.

“Oh shit, Jimin! I’m sorry!” You flip the covers around, disturbing a sleeping Marzipan in the process, your feet meandering about on the floor as you try and look for some clean clothes. You and Jimin had a Friday tradition that involved crepes and the best iced coffee in the entire world. It was definitely something worth waking up for.

“Jagi, you’re good!” He calls through the phone, since you had to put him on speaker. “I’m at your door though, let me iiiin.” He whines and you rush to the door, not bothering to hang up his call. Swinging the door open, you are met with a giggling Jimin casually leaning against the doorframe. He looks amazing as usual, his pink hair effortlessly swept back, his rose colored cheeks dewy: his outfit is simple but jaw-dropping as usual. Tight grey skinny jeans, a pink oversized sweater, several gold earrings, and black leather boots adorn Jimin’s figure as he holds his arms out for you. Jimin always puts a smile on your face and, he is one of the few people you can confidently say that you never get tired of. You wrap your arms around him, pressing your cheek to his chest, a smile warming your features.

“I’m sorry I slept in.” You mumble against his sweater, and he lets out another giggle.

“It’s fine Y/N, I knew you’d never miss a date with me so, I showed up anyway.” His honeyed voice assures you as you pull away. It’s then that both you and Jimin realize that you don’t have pants on. “Yah! What are you doing answering the door in your panties, someone can walk by and see you!”

You giggle in response to his change in demeanor, pulling him inside as you shut the door.

“Calm down, I’m sure everyone on this floor has seen my underwear at some point.” You confess, still giggling lightly as you hand Jimin a water bottle and, his eyes narrow in your direction. Listen, sometimes I don’t feel like putting on pants just to run to the mailbox and back, I’ve actually gotten pretty good at making it back before anyone sees me.”

“I don’t want to hear about my best friend running around with her ass out, unless I’m there, also running around with my ass out. Someone could literally put you in their pocket.” Jimin admonishes with a pointed look, drinking from his water bottle but, his eyes reflect a bit of the normal playfulness that they always have.

“Look who’s talking.” You play back before running for your life and into your room. Jimin boils over as he picks up a pillow from your couch and throws it in your direction, the pillow nearly missing your head.

“Don’t be fucking rude!” He calls, attempting to sound angry but his giggle escapes his lips anyway.

———————————————————————————————–

“So that’s it? He just got up and left?” Jimin asks around a bite of strawberry crepe, his eyes wide after listening to you recount your night with Yoongi.

You nod, your lips pursed as you wipe your hands on the cloth napkin that lay over your lap.

“Yeah,” You replied casually, taking a sip of your iced coffee. “I don’t know, maybe I misread the situation. I get why he left I guess but, I was a little confused by him leaning away from me. I’m probably reading too much into it, I mean he was there for our project. He wasn’t there cause he wanted to hang out with me.”

“I mean, that’s true but, from what you are telling me, he doesn’t sound put off by you, he sounds like he might have been nervous. I mean odds are, you probably had your chest right in his face while you were fixing his hair.” Jimin smirks lightly, his eyes twinkling with suggestion.

You scoff, rolling your eyes as you toss your napkin his way and, forever the dancer, he dodges it swiftly, giggling.

“Shut up.” Your laugh eventually leaves your chest to bubble through your lips as Jimin holds his hands up.

“You’re hot; I’m just speaking the truth.” He defends a sweet smile on his lips.

“You flatter me kind sir” You conclude, patting his hand as you both giggle once again.

A few moments of comfortable silence passes before Jimin’s eyes light up in remembrance.

“Wait! Did you see Kookie’s tweet?”

Your eyes widen back at him as you brace your hands against the table, leaning forward slightly.

“Oh my god yes, what was that about? Do you think he’s seeing someone?”

Jungkook had posted a particularly out of character tweet this morning. The exact tweet read, “You’re the cause of my euphoria.” Jungkook was definitely a romantic little softy at heart but, it wasn’t like him to post cryptic things on social media: mainly because most of his posts were usually meme/sports related.

“Should we ask him about it? I’m sure he knows we saw it.” Jimin’s voice is hushed despite the fact that the man in question was 300 miles away.

You purse your lips in thought before shaking your head.

“No, I don’t think so; I think we should wait until he comes to us. Knowing him, he will probably downplay it anyway.” You conclude, smiling fondly at the thought of the secretly shy little bean that was your best friend.

“Ugh but, I want to know who my Kookie is seeing.” Jimin whines, slumping back into the chair, causing you to giggle.

“Trust me, so do I but, I think he’ll tell us when he’s ready. Besides, he might not even be seeing anyone yet; you know how he gets around pretty girls.” You try and reason with the man before you, who seems to be getting more and more flustered by the second.

“But I want to know now.” Jimin’s accent decorates his whine perfectly and, you curse him for being so adorable. “We’ve been best friends forever, he always tells me everything. I bet Taehyung knows.” He concludes bitterly and, you nudge his leg with your foot.

“If he did, he probably pried it out of him.” You assure him, fighting the laugh that’s brewing over Jimin’s tantrum.

“Fine, I won’t say anything.” Jimin surrenders, his features etched in a prominent frown. “I’ll just stalk his twitter.”

“You already stalk his twitter.” You point out, giggling, savoring the last sip of your iced coffee, the waiter coming over to collect the check.

“Well, I miss him!” He defends, his puffy lips pouted in frustration.

       The two of you leave the café and, Jimin heads off to his showcase rehearsal while you catch the subway back home. As your nearing your stop, your phone buzzes in your hand. Glancing down, you see it’s from Yoongi and, you unlock your phone to open it. Your heart stalls in your chest for a moment as you look at the picture before you. It’s Yoongi but, with bright blonde hair. He’s parted it off to the side, exposing part of his forehead and, although the color wasn’t a shimmering platinum, it was definitely blonde. He has a little bit of a smile on his lips and, he looked like he hadn’t been up for too long. The picture was sent with a text that read: Yoongi: I guess you should change majors?

Fuck. He looked really good. You tell yourself to chill and, instead of responding right away, you wait until your back at your apartment.

You: I’ll let my student advisor know on Monday lol. Do you like it?

A few seconds pass before he replies.

Yoongi: It’s different but, I don’t mind it, I’m just happy I still have all of my hair.

You: Trust me, so am I.

Yoongi: Do you like it?

Your brows furrow at the new message you receive, your fingers stalling on the keyboard. Why would he care if you liked it?

You:  I think it looks great, black to blonde is usually a rough way to go so, I’m happy it worked out.

Yoongi: Me too. Thanks again.

You: No worries.

A sigh leaves your lips as you lean back against your couch. You thumb presses into the power button on your phone, as you place it on the arm of the couch. Man, Tuesday could not come quick enough.

—————————————————————————————————-

“Ok so, the next one is easy, you put roller coasters and, I put heights, we can definitely combine those two.” You begin; you’re desk to desk with Yoongi, in the middle of your Tuesday lecture, trying to figure out the next part of the project. Yoongi had been late to class that day but, boy was he worth the wait; blonde messy hair, camouflage hoodie, black torn jeans and, of course his many silver earrings.

His chewing his lip as he nods in your direction, a slightly drawn out breath leaving his nose as he looks at his paper.

“Yeah, that makes sense. We should probably go to an amusement park or something.” Yoongi suggests, his lips hovering over the straw to his Americano. He looked immaculate as always but, you couldn’t miss the puffiness under his eyes that alluded to a night of very little sleep.

“Do you actually want to go on one of the rides?”

Yoongi shakes his head immediately, his dark eyes lighting up slightly in alarm.

“No, I’m good. We can just walk around or something.” He replies, his hand coming up to scratch behind his neck.

“Is it the height for you too? Or the movement?” You inquire, curiously, your eyes meeting his.

“It’s all of it. I don’t like being jerked around…well, not jerked around…like moved around, I guess. I don’t like it.” He fumbles out the last part of his sentence and, you have to stifle the giggle that wants to pass your lips. You nod, putting your pen to your paper, writing down the plans so, that you can turn it in to Professor James.

“No, I get it; you don’t like being jerked around. I’ll keep that in mind.” You reply casually and you feel an eraser being thrown your way.

“Shut up. Don’t be gross.” Yoongi admonishes but, his cheeks are pink and the amused smile on his lips has already presented itself.

“I’m just trying to get to know my partner.” You defend, the flirtation in your voice subtle but, clearly suggestive. Your eyes meet Yoongi’s for a moment and, you can sense that he’s in some kind of discomfort. He shifts in his seat, his hand at the back of his neck once more before, he takes another sip of his coffee.

“I’m busy for most of this week but, I can probably do Thursday night again, I think the park closes at 10 so, we should have plenty of time to get what we need.” He changes the subject, his gaze growing slightly stern as he glances around the room. Yikes.

“Thursday works for me. I have review session from 2-4 for my final but, I’ll be free after that.” Your returns to its normal cadence and, you couldn’t help but feel a little bummed out by Yoongi going all business on you again. You figured it was time to stop hoping that he would see you as something other than his partner for an inconvenient project.

“Alright, cool, I can meet you there; I’ll try and leave a little bit earlier to avoid the traffic.” He notes, nodding.

“Ok, we should get there around the same time then.” You reply, your eyes not really meeting his gaze any longer, your notebook suddenly becoming very interesting.

“What final is it?” Yoongi asks suddenly, his voice slightly softer than before.

“Hm?” Your eyes flit up to his and you find him staring back at you curiously.

“Your final, that you’re reviewing for?” He clarifies, taking another sip of his coffee.

“Oh, yeah, it’s my International Relations final, it’s one of my final grad requirements so, I need to ace it.” You explain, Yoongi nodding along, his eyes holding a bit of interest for once.

“What do you plan to do with your degree?”

“I want to work as an international advocate of some sorts. I’m interested in improving international relationships and foreign affairs, stuff like that. I’d really like to work in human rights as well but, that’s something I’ll probably have to work up to.” You reply, passion lighting up your voice as you speak about your passions. Yoongi’s face lights up slightly, a small but, genuine smile gracing his features as he nods along.

“That’s cool; the world definitely needs the help.”

“Yeah, I think so too. What about you?” You inquire, your body leaning forward slightly. Yoongi’s expression lights up further as nods to his laptop.

“Well, if I actually get my final composition project done, I plan on staying in the city to work as a producer. I have a friend who owns a small studio in the west province who said I have a job when I graduate.” He explains, his tone one of pride and certainty.

You smile, your eyes lighting up intrigued.

“That’s really cool; it’s nice that you have something lined up already. Do you make your own stuff or are you just looking to make beats for other people?” At this question, Yoongi shifts his posture again, growing smaller in his seat.

“Uh I make my own stuff sometimes but, I usually just sell beats to aspiring SoundCloud rappers.” He smirks slightly as you giggle, stretching your limbs before nodding to your phone.

“Are they any good?”

“No, they’re trash.” He scoffs his eyes playful as his long fingers fiddle with the end of his paper. “But, I have rent so; I do what I have to do.”

“I get you. Do you sing or?” You’re attempting to milk as much of the conversation as possible, as this is probably the most genuine verbal encounter you’ve had with Yoongi. Yoongi cringes at your inquiry, his face wrinkled in distaste as he shakes his head.

“No.” He chuckles as he leans back in his chair, the soft column of his throat visible as continues. “I rap…sometimes, just for fun though.”

You smile playfully, tilting your head, as Professor James calls for your planning papers. “Let me know when your mixtape drops.”

At this, Yoongi rolls his eyes but, you can’t miss the blush that once again graces his cheeks.

“Not going to happen.” He bites back, as he slips his laptop into his bag.

The two of you drop your papers on Professor James’s desk before, weaving through the crowd of people towards the exit. Usually Yoongi leaves you behind to head back into the main part of the campus but, this time he lingers beside you, his thumbs tucking into the straps of his backpack.

“I’ll see you Thursday?” He asks, his voice soft, his doll-lips pouted as he tilts his head towards the direction he plans to walk.

“I’ll be there.” You smile in assurance as you begin to part ways. Your back is almost completely turned before you hear Yoongi’s voice again.

“Bring a jacket, it’s supposed to be cold.” He calls; hands pulling the sleeves of his hoodie back down over his wrists. You nod, biting back a smile at his request.

“I will, thanks.” You call back before turning back and going your separate ways.

———————————————————————————————-

“Y/N likes Yoongi, Y/N likes Yoongi!” An annoying course of voices echoes through your screen as you roll your eyes, flipping off your webcam.

“I don’t like Yoongi; I just think he’s cute!” You insist, through the choir from hell that’s currently berating you.

It’s Wednesday night and you’re in the middle of a skype session with Jimin, Taehyung and, Jungkook. Jimin and his big mouth had slowly started to bring up the idea that one of you was seeing someone. Jungkook had started to look visibly uncomfortable so, you decided to shift the focus onto you. You had mentioned Yoongi and, his new hair and, how literally everything he does was endearing and, this obviously opened you up to a barrage of teasing from your friends.

“You never talk about boys this way Y/N, you definitely have a thing for him.” Taehyung points out, his smirk prominent as the other two boys finally settle down.

“Seriously, she mentions him all the time; it’s starting to make me jealous.” Jimin pouts, causing Taehyung to chuckle. Jungkook, who would normally be memeing the hell out of you right now, decides to quiet down, not wanting to risk his own love life being questioned.

“You guys, even if I had a thing for Yoongi, it wouldn’t matter. He’s made it obvious that he isn’t feeling it, trust me.” You explain, playing with the ends of your hair, whilst Taehyung and Jimin roll their eyes.

“You don’t know that, have you tried flirting a little?” Taehyung asks, his expression doubtful as he deadpans the camera.

“Yeah, actually I have but, I think it makes him uncomfortable and, I don’t really want to do that.” You’re trying to keep your tone casual, not really wanting to reveal your disappointment to your friends. Yoongi wasn’t interested in you, that much was obvious but, so far, he seemed like a nice guy so, you really didn’t want to make things awkward for him.

“I don’t know Y/N, you don’t exactly have a good track record when it comes to knowing if guys like you or not.  There were at least half a dozen guys in high school that  had a thing for you and, you had no idea.” Jimin points out, shrugging as he throws back some of the pink wine in his glass. Taehyung nods in agreement, pointing towards you.

“Jiminie’s right, maybe you just make him nervous. You have that effect on men.” Taehyung smirks as he leans back in his seat. You roll your eyes and shake your head, your hand reaching over to pat Marzipan who has plopped down next to you.

“I think you should keep going the way you are. Hyung is right, he might just be nervous but, if you don’t know for sure, maybe it’s best to just keep going with the flow.” Jungkook finally pipes up, his demeanor much calmer than normal and, you really have to stifle your desire to ask him why he isn’t being the walking meme that he normally is.

“Thanks Kookie. I think you’re right.” You smile sweetly in his direction as he nods almost shyly in return. Taehyung and Jimin roll their eyes causing both you and Jungkook to laugh.

“I think you should say something to him. Take charge, let him know how you feel.” Taehyung encourages as Jimin nods along to his sentiment. “ He might surprise you.”

“He’s my partner guys, if he’s not into me, it’s going to make the whole thing a lot harder to get through. Look, I promise to say something if he gives me good reason to but, right now, I’m going to take Jungkook’s advice and, go with the flow.” You state and Jungkook smile’s proudly in return before, sticking his tongue out at the screen.

“Ha! I win, suckers.” He announces to the other boys, causing you to laugh at his antics. “Best advice goes to me, Jeon Jungkook, the love expert.”

Ah, there he is.

—————————————————————————————————-

Thursday finally arrives and, you’re rifling through your closet, desperately trying to find your favorite hoodie. Its black and 4-5 sizes too big, which basically means it hangs below your knees. The inside is lined with thick fleece that is easily the softest material you have ever felt and, you could have sworn you hung it up the last time you did laundry. Your face lights up in victory as you spot a mass of black fabric hanging off of one of your shelves before, slipping it on over your bra and leggings. You opt for some comfortable shoes since, odds are,  you‘re going to be walking around the park for a while. Marzipan scurries into the kitchen as she hears you pouring food into her bowl, her chubby body almost sliding across the floor as she reaches her destination. You giggle fondly at her, patting her head before, grabbing your things and heading out the door.

The subway ride was longer than you’re used to but, eventually you’re dropped off near the main entrance of the amusement park. When you finally feel the frigid outside air, you thank your lucky stars that Yoongi had reminded you to bring a jacket. You honestly don’t know what you would have done if you had opted to wear anything else. Moving through the crowd of people, you eventually move off to the side to pull your phone out.

You: Hey, I’m here. Have you made it yet?

Yoongi’s reply takes a few minutes before a new message lights up your screen.

Yoongi: I just parked. Meet me at the ticket booth.

You: I bought our tickets already, do you want to just meet at the main entrance?

The chat bubble moves around for a long time and based on his short reply, you assume he was unsure of how to respond.

Yoongi: You didn’t have to do that.

You: You promised me I could get the next round so, I did just that.

Yoongi: I meant the next round of food…

You: Don’t worry about it.

A few moments pass before you spot Yoongi walking towards your direction. He’s wearing the same outfit he wore during your AM lecture: black Nike sweats with a dark gray utility jacket. He’s also sporting a disapproving expression, his hands tucked into his pockets as he approaches you. You push off of the wall you were leaning against, strolling over to meet him half way.

“I wish you wouldn’t have wasted your money on me.” He announces as the two of your paths finally meet. “I could have paid.”

“You’re welcome Yoongi.” You reply simply, nudging him towards the main entrance. He side eyes you, his posture stiff but, he allows you to push him towards your destination.

“Thank you.” His voice is soft and you almost miss the small smile that appears and then vanishes on his mouth.

The two of you approach the gate and, you reach out to hand your tickets to the clerk who is sporting a brilliant smile.

“Enjoy!” She chirps and both you and Yoongi thank her before you head inside.

The park is buzzing with activity, twinkling lights adorning nearly every structure, the air is scented with tantalizing flavors that resemble cinnamon and freshly baked bread, children are eagerly tugging their parents towards various shops and rides and, there’s probably around a half a dozen giant roller coasters that stand proudly towards the back of the park. You can’t help but smile at the scene before you and, this doesn’t go unnoticed by the man standing beside you.

“What?” His brows are raised, as he glances between you and whatever he assumes you’re smiling at.

“Nothing.” You reply, your smile fading slightly before jerking your head towards the back of the park. “I’m guessing we should head that way?”

Yoongi takes a deep breath, nodding in response as the two of you start to make your way to the metal fortresses that await you.

You observe the coasters from a distance and, you feel yourself getting slightly nervous at the thought of riding the tallest one that protrudes in the middle of the group, the top of it looking as if its about to touch the sky. Roller coasters themselves didn’t really bother you but, the idea of being up so high without any control over when you are able to get down, really freaked you out. Yoongi stayed silent for the most part as you meandered your way through the eager patrons. You felt some level of disappointment as the tricky part of your brain reminded you that you wished you were here with Yoongi for different reasons.

“Which one scares you the most?” You ask him after the two of you finally reach the cluster of coasters.

Yoongi’s eyes shift around for a moment, his lips pursed in thought before he nods toward a black coaster that looks it spins and flips about a thousand times.

“That one, I can’t understand why anyone would find that fun.” He replies, wrinkling his nose in distaste. You laugh lightly before you nod towards the giant colorful Ferris Wheel dominating the right side of the back lot.

“What about that one?” You inquire softly, your eyes lighting up with an idea. Yoongi ponders your question for a moment before shrugging.

“That one isn’t too bad, I’m not a huge fan of the height but, it’s probably the only one I would consider riding.”

“I’m going to ride it.” You say suddenly, nudging his shoulder with your own. Yoongi’s brow furrows as he looks over at you and then back at the ride.

“Wait why? I thought we were just walking around.” He reminds you but, you already start making your way towards the Ferris Wheel, your heart starting to pound in your chest as you do. Yoongi struggles to keep up with you as he looks at you with concern.

You shrug as you take your place in line, “You actually dyed your hair and it turned out alright, I think I should confront a fear or two directly too. You don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to though.”

Yoongi looks at you for a moment, still alarmed as his eyes regard the behemoth wheel before the both of you. He shakes his head, his gaze once again disapproving as he sighs out through his nose.

“I’ll watch your stuff, I guess, just…” He pauses, his eyes scanning over your frame as you hand him your purse. “Be…safe…”

You giggle lightly at his demeanor, pushing down the anxiety and disappointment that’s brewing in your chest.

“I’ll be strapped in Yoongi, don’t worry.” You assure him, before, making your way to the entrance of the ride. What were you doing???? Were you crazy??? There was literally no reason to confront this fear directly but, honestly, why not? It was a Ferris Wheel. Yes, it was unnerving but, what’s the worst that can happen?

Right before you approach the front of the line, you hear a soft murmur, that sounded like your name, making its way through the group of people before you notice Yoongi shuffling over to you.

“What’s wrong?” You ask with a tilt to your head. Yoongi lets out a frustrated sigh, his face turned up in discomfort as you both approach the ride operator.

“You shouldn’t ride it alone.” Yoongi mumbles, regarding you with his cat eyes.

“Yoongi, I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.” You assure him, your eyes soft with concern.

“Well I don’t even want to be here but, I can’t afford to fail this class so, let’s just get this over with, I guess.” For the first time, you sense actual irritation in Yoongi’s voice and the tone makes your face fall.

You nod robotically as the woman ushers the two of you into a massive structure that looks like a carriage. As the two of you step inside, you pull your seatbelt over your lap, keeping your attention on the material. Yoongi has his eyes on you and, you can feel it but, you have no intention at meeting his gaze. As the ride rumbles to life, you grip your seatbelt a little tighter in an attempt to calm your nerves while Yoongi scans over you warily. The two of you don’t speak for some time, your eyes trained on the window of the carriage as it slowly starts moving.

“Are you ok?” Yoongi’s soft voice finally breaks the thick layer of silence between the two of you, his cat eyes regarding you.

“Yeah. I’m good, you?” You jerk your head in his direction, your voice smaller than you want it to be. Yoongi isn’t convinced but, he answers your question anyway.

“Yeah, I’m ok.”

Silence fills the carriage again as you shift slightly on the cushioned seat. The view from the window is revealing more and more of the twinkling city lights and, you once again feel a twinge of sadness that you aren’t here with someone you wants to be there with you. Jimin would love this ride, you note, wishing he was here to make you laugh.

“I’m sorry that you’re here with me instead of some pretty girl or something, you got to admit though, this view is amazing.” You attempt to lighten the mood, smiling slightly as you look out the window. Yoongi’s brow furrows in confusion but, you miss this as you’ve purposefully chosen to avoid his gaze.

“What do you mean?” He mumbles, his voice smaller than normal. You look over at him to see him fiddling with the end of his hoodie, as he stares back at you.

“I just mean that this is actually kind of cool and, I’m sure you’d rather be here with your girlfriend or something.” You explain, keeping your tone as casual as possible.

“I don’t have a girlfriend.” He retorts, his eyes regarding you, a ghost of a smirk playing on his mouth. “and you are…pretty.” Yoongi seems to force the last part of his sentence out and, you can’t help but giggle in response.

“It’s ok Yoongi; you don’t have to say that. I know you aren’t into me like that.” You smile reassuringly, waving him off almost, trying to move the subject along.

“No, actually, you don’t know that.” He mutters, confusion and faint irritation flashing across his face.

“Well, maybe, I’m wrong for assuming but_”

“You are.” Yoongi cuts you off, his voice calm and annoyingly monotone but, his gaze holds something you can’t quite identify. “Why would you think I wasn’t attracted to you?”

“Your body language, the way you constantly avoid eye contact with me, just stuff like that. It’s no big deal Yoongi; I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, it’s just something I’ve noticed.”

“You’re wrong.” His cheeks are pink and you feel an unsettling flutter in your stomach as you lock eyes with him.

“Fine, I’m wrong. I’m sorry for assuming.” You concede, smirking lightly as you regard his flustered frame. “Would you kiss me? Hypothetically?”

You don’t know what’s come over you, you’re not normally so brazen but you really wanted to know what went on in that pretty blonde head of his.

“Yeah…”He swallows around a dry throat, his hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck, his eyes avoiding yours for the first time during this conversation. “I would…hypothetically.”

Your smirk is unwavering as your teeth nibble on the inside of your lip.

“Where?” The inquiry passes your lips as your voice drops to a low murmur, the flirtation that you’ve suppressed creeping back into your tone.

“Where?” Yoongi repeats, his shaky voice confused momentarily as you watch his gaze flicker between your chest to your throat and, then finally settling on your lips. “I…I don’t know…your lips…maybe…other places too…”

The fluttering in your chest doesn’t seize and, you really try to reason with yourself but, you can’t help but want him. Before you can reply, another confession tumbles passed his lips.

“I’d kiss you everywhere…if you’d let me.”

The ride jolts momentarily ripping you and Yoongi out of your moment, you look around, concerned that something was wrong before a voice crackles through the speakers.

“Attention Ladies and Gentleman, the ride is experiencing some minor technical difficulties and, will resume shortly, please continue to keep your hands, arms, feet and legs inside the ride at all times, we will have everything moving in no time.”

The two of you settle down and catch each other’s gaze once again; Yoongi’s cheeks still pink, his hand resuming its favorite spot behind his neck. He chuckles lightly and, you can’t help but follow suit, his eyes twinkling in amusement.

“You….uh” Yoongi begins his sentence but, he seems to lose his words for moment as he stares at you. He takes a breath, his head turning to the side slightly before continuing. “We can’t.”

Your brow furrows as you cock your head, your eyes holding his.

“We can’t what?”

“We can’t do anything.” He explains further, his voice decorated with hesitation, his deep chocolate eyes unsure. You fall silent for a moment, your eyes softer than they were before as you hold his gaze.

“Can I ask why?”

Yoongi’s lips are drawn up into a half smile and you think for a moment you detect a hint of fondness in his eyes before he answers.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea.” He admits, your face falls for a moment as you look out the window. You nod as you chew on the inside of your lip before Yoongi pipes up again. “It’s not because I don’t want to. I just think it’s a bad idea… right now.”

You nod your head again, smiling warmly, aiming to conceal your disappointment.

“I get it, don’t worry, thanks for the ego boost. For the record though,” Your smile turns into a smirk, your eyes playful. “I’d kiss you too. Everywhere.”  The tone of your voice is dramatic and overly seductive causing Yoongi to roll his eyes and flip you off, despite your comment clearly flustering him. A giggle erupts over your lips as the ride resumes motion towards the ground.

Maybe Jungkook wasn’t a “love expert” after all.

[purplesurveys]

626

HI BELATED HAPPY NEW YEAR

First things first, did you have a good year? I would say most of it was good. I did most of the stuff I said I was going to do so I’m giving myself pats on the back for that. Things just kinda took a turn for the worse by the end of the year what with an ambiguous end to my most recent semester (I don’t have two of my seven final grades yet because my prof likes seeing her students suffer, I guess) and losing Nacho, so it all balances out.

How old did you turn this year? I turned 21. Which means legality in the US, but I’ve been legal in the Philippines for three years now so it doesn’t warrant much of a celebration lol.

Do you feel your age? I guess. There are days where it’s very tempting to feel inadequate because there are many 21-year-olds in my social circle who have their own business, are grabbing opportunities here and there (they’re in a successful band, are junior radio jocks, hired as emcees, serve as UAAP courtside reporters, to name a few), already make their own money, etc., but I just have to remind myself that everybody is moving at their own pace and that in my case, at least I’m not behind and that I’m moving remarkably fairly for my age.

Did your appearance change in anyway? Nah I BARELY did anything to my look this year. I did not go for a haircut at all in 2019 and now my hair is crazy long. I’m keeping it untrimmed until my grad shoot, so the long hair will stay with me for a while.

Post your favorite selfie. I would but Tumblr doesn’t really work the same way as Twitter where I’d feel more free to share photos of myself haha.

If you traveled, where did you go? My family went to Pangasinan, Bicol, Tagaytay, and Cavite this year. I also took my friends on a day trip to Nasugbu shortly before school started in August as sort of a last hurrah for our summer vacation.

Which fashion trends did you love? Which fashion trends did you hate? I initially liked chunky sneakers until everyone bought their own pair solely so that they’d feel like they’re one of the cool kids – it quickly became uncool after that. I was a fan of mom jeans (still am), high-waisted jeans, culottes, and tops in muted colors and had cute little bows in the chest area. I hated bike shorts and scrunchies, and slowly got tired of off-shoulder tops by the end of the year. I never understood tracksuits and never bought one of my own, and was also never a fan of hype fashion like DBTK shirts.

What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible? I looooooooved the floral romper and the two-piece ensemble I was both able to snag at Feliz.

What song sums up this year for you? Buwan by juan karlos, the two reasons being that the song exploded in 2019 and because it was Nacho’s favorite and he made a million jokes about it.

What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then? This question is a little vague so I’ll answer it in two ways. In my case, I definitely played Beyonce’s Homecoming album TOO MUCH last year. But radio-wise, it looked like Ariana Grande and Camila Cabello had stellar years.

What was your favorite movie of the year? I had several favorite movies, but here they are put in order: Portrait of a Lady on Fire, Midsommar, and Toy Story 4.

Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year? Florence fucking Pugh. Also I just realized how attractive Timothee Chalamet is, although I’ve been aware of him way before 2019 and haven’t watched any of his material.

Favorite new TV show? I watched the first few episodes of Stranger Things but I found it too slow-paced so I let it go easily. Other than that I didn’t really get into any 2019 shows because I’m not a big TV person, but I did recently get into Descendants of the Sun so that’s new for me! Queer Eye will also always have a place in my heart.

Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears? I’m a little too old for that now but I did heavily get into the Try Guys. I don’t ship any of them together but I just genuinely love each of them, them as a group, and all the content they put out.

What food did you try for the first time? Ooh there’s a lot. Foie gras, aligue (crab fat) ramen, Bloody Mary, pistachios, a vanilla frappe from Starbucks, Tim Hortons food, ji pai (Taiwanese fried chicken) and pad thai, to name a few. I’m so so so pumped to try out even more new food in 2020.

Did you make any big permanent changes this year? I stopped talking to my brother.

What was one nice thing you did for someone else? Being one of the only two people in my org who can drive, I’ve always offered lifts to my friends. I don’t say anything even if where I’m taking them is entirely off my normal route, which frustrates Gabie, but honestly I just like helping my friends and making their commute easier for them. I also checked up on Nacho a day before he passed. I regret being too civil, but at least I checked up on him. Not a lot of people did that in his last few days.

What was one nice thing you did for yourself? Ok so one thing my org does is hold journalism workshops to schools across the country. The org is a bit small and not all the members are reliable, so what usually happens is that the same group of people attend the workshops and teach and facilitate – me being a part of that same group of people. Given that we have class during weekdays and these workshops happen on weekends, the schedule can be very demanding, especially if these schools request a shit-ton of topics for us to teach them. I sort of looked out for myself more this year by declining to go to a couple of the workshops, so that I can experience actually having a full weekend to myself.

Did you develop a new obsession? I discovered a YouTuber who is insanely good at Mario Kart 8 and I watched a ton of his playthroughs in 2019. Oh, and MUKBANG ASMRs. It’s an insanely unpopular opinion but I love chewing noises, dude.

Did you vote? It was the senatorial elections this year and yes, I did vote. None of my votes got in, of course, because unfortunately the rest of the Filipino electorate don’t know any better. I was part of a real-time fact-checking group that day for extra class credit, and I will never forget the collective groan and moan that came out of that room when the first batch of results came out on the news and we saw the same corrupt, power-hungry, money-hungry, anti-poor politicians top the polls.

Did you move? No. I’ve lived in the same house since 2008.

Did you get a job? I did not, BUT I did get an internship which I was pretty stoked about.

Did you get a pet? I did not. I don’t want anyone else but my dog, who I’ve had also since 2008.

Do you regret not doing anything? Sure. I have never taken Gab’s mom out on a girls’ night kind of date, and I always told myself that I was going to finally do that in 2019 – which I didn’t. I’m so going to make sure we do it this year. I’m also sad that I didn’t get to see Angela more times last year. And that I didn’t do more for Nacho, so now I have to live with the loss of him forever.

Do you regret doing something? Nothing is coming to mind so I guess nothing major. <-- Pretty much, thankfully.

Have you done anything that scared you? Tried vaping, did shisha for the first time, walk alone in Katipunan, be stuck at a restaurant table with Gab’s (very stoic) dad while she went to the washroom, to name a few lol. On a deeper note, I was a bad girlfriend several times over 2019 and it rocked the relationship quite a bit.

Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days? Yeah absolutely. I hated the people who went too far when it came to Nach, especially his ‘friends’ who didn’t hesitate to turn his back on him. And when things finally crashed and burned, I was too fucking pissed at everybody to even say something about it.

Did you lose anyone close to you? Yes.

Did you fall in love? For most of 2019 as with 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, and 2018, yes.

Did you fall out of love? Nope.

Did you start a new relationship? I did not.

Did you go through a break up? I almost had to, but we sat each other down several times in the year to fix what had to be fixed, and it’s been very smooth sailing since.

Did you have to cut ties to someone? They weren’t people I was close to in any extent, but I’ve blocked several people from a certain elite school because I hate that school.

Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year? No one strongly comes to mind since I basically just retained my circle, but I did meet Gab’s closest cousin this year for the first time, and anyone who’s family to her is automatically important to me, so I’d go with him.

Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year? This is going to sound completely awful, but I guess my college blockmates. I was always sort of the ~black sheep in our small batch of 7 while all of them are incredibly close with one another. 2019 was the year that I stopped trying to hang out with them, because I realized that no matter how hard I try, we’re really just on different wavelengths and I can’t keep faking my expressions and mannerisms just so I feel accepted or so that I can survive a day with them.

If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it? Yeah, I definitely wish I cut some of my classes much less.

What was the best moment of the year for you? What was the worst? There were a lot of high moments from 2019 if we’re being honest. I liked taking Gab and her dad out for a ONE Championship pay-per-view back in January, I liked being invited to her dad’s birthday dinner, my road trip to Nasugbu, every day that my dad was here, going to the beach, partying for Halloween with friends, seeing old friends again in our org Christmas party, that one night Gab and I went to BGC just to bar-hop, our fancypants date that was also in BGC, and I’m sure there’s a bunch more that I’ve forgotten to mention. The absolute worst moment came at the very minute I pieced it together and found out *surprise surprise* Nacho was gone forever. I don’t think I was able to speak for two hours. When I did, I ended up crying the rest of the night until I passed out.

Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t? Not-so-serious answer, but I thought I was gonna live my entire life without needing injections to my mouth, but lo and behold I went to the dentist in December and got THREE. I thought I was going to pass out, I thought it was going to hurt, I thought I was going to thrash around my seat in terror... I ended up not even feeling anything. I dunno if it’s because I got a lower dose of whatever, or if my dentist is just better than others, but the whole experience went much better than I expected. This may sound shallow but I have the biggest needle-and-any-sharp-object phobia, so this is a lot coming from me hahaha.

Did anything happen to you that you were sure wouldn’t change you as a person but it did? Watching Portrait of a Lady on Fire. Gab just needed a companion to the cinema that night; I had no idea what the movie was going to be about and even read the entire plot while trailers were showing – in the end, it’s been me who’s been talking about the movie way way more than she.

What are you most proud of accomplishing? Not killing myself. The 2010s was just me internally betting on when I’d finally pull the plug, but I had what it took to get me to 2020, apparently.

What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior? That everything you do and say on the internet is permanent, and you’ll forever have to live with the the consequences that come from them.

Did your opinion of anyone change for the better? Andrew. Before 2019, I found him so horrifyingly clingy, so chatty, and he was always trying to be close to everyone (he still does). It drove the introvert side of my ambivert-ness absolutely NUTS. At one point I realized he wasn’t going to change, so I just gave him a chance and turns out, he’s a great friend and an even better co-worker hahaha.

Did your opinion of anyone change for worse? Everybody who claimed to be Nach’s friend but didn’t find it hard to say vile stuff about him.

If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year? I told myself I was going to make a one-photo-a-day private Instagram dump for 2019, but I stopped as early as January 27 LMAOOOOO. I’m doing it again this year and I’m much more determined to keep it going.

If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year? Keep my 2020 Instagram active, be able to travel... and be happier, basically.

If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do?  Who would you go this? A little too late my dude. I’m typing this out in 2020.

What do you wish for others for the coming year? What do you wish for yourself? I just hope everybody on here feels a little bit more warmth and happiness, dude. We all deserve it.

[flightykickback]

Before BTS in Chicago, I didn’t believe in post-concert depression.  Clearly, I was wrong.

BE FOREWARNED!

If you thought some of my other posts were long, you’re in for a treat! This one is longer!

  ~ 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 ~

  I spent four, long, arduously stressful months trying to get tickets to see BTS in New York or Chicago.  My friend and I combined devices to become a tiny force to be reckoned with, only to lose out on tickets for New York AND Chicago!

October was coming around the corner.  I had set-up dozens of Facebook and Twitter notifications for various BTS groups and one extra special gem, BTSTicketBOT.  Eventually, I had to make a decision on one location instead of being bombarded by notifications for two, so I picked Chicago.  I started to search for BTSxChicago hashtags and various keywords in search engines until I hit the jackpot! I found LoveYourselfxChicago, a BTS fanbase in the Chicago-area that organizes fan events and charity drives.

DO NOT buy from unreliable websites such as Craig’s List.  You WILL be scammed.  No matter how tempting and how desperate you may have become during your search, DON’T DO IT! There will be tickets, just keep reading! (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

LoveYourselfxChicago was selling tickets for a suite ($250 each), at the tip-tip-tippy top of the arena with a full meal plan and semi-private bathrooms.  I told them, “I do.”

K, I was at peak gambling mode at this point before I had to look at the time and stop taking chances.  Originally, I told them NO! I wanna see sweat dripping from Namjoon’s forehead from P1 seating! Then I crumpled my wish on a piece of paper (seriously, I wrote exactly what I wanted multiple times on several slips of paper), before I meekly asked to be put on a waitlist.  (*≧▽≦)ﾉｼ))

Luckily, we had already booked an Airbnb and THE cheapest transportation through Megabus ($13 total with tax, for two tickets)…..but you ought to know I’m never on time, so we missed it and had to drive (LOL!).

Yoooooo, my friend and I wanted to enjoy those charter seats and avoid the erratic Chicago traffic so bad that I called my niece to see if I got ahead of the bus, would she keep my car at her college over the weekend, just gas it up.  We didn’t make it.  Which…worked out for us later…We stocked up on flavored soju at Joong Boo Market and got some awesome food at San Soo Gab San Korean BBQ *cackles*

Finally! We’re in Chicago! We go to Mecca and it’s a barricaded parking lot across from United Center with people dancing it out to BTS music blaring from BigHit speakers.  Choreo, cheers, screaming over biases, everyone was just having so much fun! Hanging out in a parking lot was a bit of a let-down considering how much money we ARMY deliberately and emotionally give BigHit, but at least the Love Yourself banners and images were displayed everywhere.  It was nice seeing the block decked out for BTS:

    Right at the entrance of the barricade was the lightstick help desk, so I made a beeline!

HERE’S THE ULTIMATE V3 LIGHTSTICK FIX!…put a little cushion on the bottom of the battery pack to boost it up.  There’s an issue with the battery not completing the circuit, so the light doesn’t come on.  The cushion eliminates that issue.  o(≧∇≦o)

There was NO line for merch.  Everyone came and went.  (I meeeaaaan, if you’re going to line up all night for first dibs, you shouldn’t have to wait all day right?).  Luckily, I had found a GO and we got merch without having to wait in line! We were able to meander over to the merch table after getting my lightstick fixed and lazily check off the order ballet whatever we wanted.  Merch availability was posted on banners.  The more popular items like the photo book, slogan, certain t-shirt sizes, premium photos, etc., were sold out, but there was a ton of lightsticks, mini lightstick rings, and photo cards, left over.

Legit. We were in and out in minutes.  The longest part was making up my mind.  I even purchased more PCs after a change of heart while still staring at the cashier (I needed at least two packs!).

Next, we were on the prowl…to sell fanmerch! This was our first time.  We had created some Love Yourself themed pocket mirrors and were hoping to recoup some of the concert costs.  We almost got bounced by BigHit Staff (LOL!).  This lady came over to us like, “this is your final warning.” My friend said to her, you mean our first?! Cause, we ain’t never seen this chick or spoke to her before.  She pursed her lips a bit cause she knew that was dumb to say.  Meanwhile, fansites and savvier fan merchants were stealthily dodging BigHit Staff and United Center Security, just making a KILLING!

I friggin love fan merch so much.  I buy from fans all the time online and it’s my favorite thing to do at a kpop concert. Fan merch can be beautiful and are usually the better things the band’s company doesn’t sell.  Since they’re unique, you’ll never find it anywhere else and if they’re discontinued, it’s once in a lifetime, so it was a bit disappointing that BigHit had the place on lockdown.  It was greedy, especially with how they’re pummeling us fans with various collaborations and activities (Mattel dolls, Funko Pop Vinyls, UNO cards, BTS World, The Notes Books, etc.)  Support your fandom family!

Honestly, there’s not much more to do and since I didn’t enter the photo booth lottery, I don’t have more to describe. I realized the set-up is more of a dip-in and dip-out scenario.  Buy merch, see some sights, get pictures, then bounce (although, I’ve seen posts from fans in Asian countries where it’s a whole damn festival, but whatever America.  Capitalism sucks.).  We tried to sell more merch while fans were lining up at the entrances, then made our long walk back to the bus stop (I was not driving or paying for parking) and turned in for the night.

The lines into the United Center were extraordinary…because people wouldn’t listen.  Granted, everyone had to form a line prior to the doors opening, but eventually, security was telling people to exit the lines and enter through any of the other doors.  One whole section, with multiple entrances, had no lines, but fans were so damn scared to lose their place that they didn’t trust to leave their spot.  Most had reserved seats!  Swear, fans must have PTSD from how they have to fight for everything.  Security was checking bags and scanning people through the metal detectors very quickly, so there was no need for the uncertainty.  ¯\_(⌣̯̀⌣́)_/¯

The next day was CONCERT DAAAAAAAY! I’m gonna skip a bunch of stuff because it’s redundant and I pretty much talked about security.  How. Ever.  We did sell more fan merch (Thanks!), made mutuals, spoke to some great people, and even met Dee Skelliton.  Eventually, it was time to check our bags and ride that evasive elevator to the sky-I mean, our suite.

Kudos to the people that handed out free stuff.  I got a couple of PCs and lyrics to Seesaw in support of Yoongi’s solo stage.

Word of caution.  Don’t overexert yourself.  We brought water, snacks, a hand fan, extra batteries, charger, and other necessities.  I thought we were ready, but that walking! Ugh! We must’ve walked the equivalent of 10 miles from the bus stop to United, around United several times, to Subway for grub, back to United.  We were tired AF, so when we got to the suite, we wanted to chill, but there were 20 other people already there and not enough seating with a view (suites can accommodate 20 people, but only have 10 stadium seats.  There were barstools and couches, but the TVs were not broadcasting the show).

But we had fooooooood, baby!  *raps* I’m a big girl, that likes big things, and I keep a plate, for my big dreams.  There was hotdogs, ciabatta sandwiches, meatball subs, fruit, a bunch of other stuff and champ-angia.  I was so stressed from low sales and so many people around me, I really needed a breather so when the attendant cracked that bottle open, I didn’t shy.  I got lit.

Music videos were blasting.  Snapchat Geofilter was on! We had our fan project banners ready (Day 1 and 2)! Fans were singing along with their lightsticks on.  And then, THE LIGHTS DIMMED! Our lightsticks went crazy colorful! BTS popped up from beneath the stage and I blacked out.

Swear, I remember screaming my head off, trying my best at the Korean lyrics, crying a shitload, streaming to my closest BTS friends (shhhhh! (*≧艸≦)), hopping from our suite to the practically-empty-suite these beautiful, magnificent, gracious girls were willing to share, but otherwise, I don’t remember a lot.  Luckily, there’s film….but I’m too embarrassed by my screeching to post it (and it’s taking forever to upload!), so enjoy these photos instead!  Mind you, we reached the last summit when we walked off the elevator.

  We also got some amazing scenes:

Jungkook’s abs

Jimin’s abs

Namjoon getting emotional at all the love he was receiving and thanking everyone for coming to the concert.

Baepsae was a biiiiiiitch!

I SAID BAEPSAE WAS A BIIIIIIITCH!

If I were to describe the euphoric feeling I had seeing the boys in person, I’d never do it justice.  They were marvelous, engaging, funny and oh-so-sweet.  Hence why I’m pissed that I’m missing their stadium tour.  I told myself, I’m definitely seeing them next time…who knew they’d drop tickets this week?! This sounds weird, but I was extra upset that I won’t be able to go to one of the stadium stops and see the awesome light show.  Up to 80-90,000 lightsticks flickering and forming multicolored art in unison! Have you seen those videos? Wow. It would be such a breathtaking experience.

If you’re looking to get BTS Tickets, check out my other post.  The title is a little misleading, but my Plan B for getting tickets after they’re sold out is there.

If you’re banking on getting tickets direct from Ticketmaster…it’s all luck.  You can do everything correctly according to fans:

Have multiple devices

Recruit friends with multiple devices

Have the fastest internet service

Have multiple browsers and tabs open

Not refresh the page

For certain platforms, refresh the page

Log-in hours in advance and wait to be placed in the queue

Even Ticketmaster provided a preparation guide.

You can do all that and some (I did) and still not score a single ticket.  Remember, based on the stage set-up, only 2/3s of the stadium’s seating will be sold, part of the tickets are already reserved for BigHit, Ticketmaster or another broker, and season ticket holders.  That means even fewer tickets will be available! Not only are you competing with each other but also scalpers with dedicated servers to snatch up tickets.

I’m not trying to scare anyone, just stating facts.  If Plan A doesn’t work, don’t give up hope! Plan B may be your best option. Just keep storing your coins and be flexible.  A couple of things on my previous post in the bonus section actually happened:

Ticketmaster released additional tickets, unannounced, a week or two before the Chicago concert date.

United Center sold extra tickets both nights of the show

People were posting last-minute ticket sales in various groups

It pays to keep checking the website, staying tuned to social media and just waiting in the box office line at the venue.

Another thing I learned while talking to various fans at United Center and also from social media posts, is that sometimes people with extra unsold tickets may just give them away! *screams*

If you choose to purchase resale tickets, do it through StubHub or Vividseats.  Both sites guarantee similar tickets if the ones purchased are fake or will refund your money.  Last year, StubHub realized how popular BTS is and created a dedicated customer service hotline (too many people were calling lol!).  Also, if you call into Vividseats, they might give a discount (the rep offered me 15%).  Lastly, if purchasing resale tickets from another fan, ask for proof and have someone else look at the proof with you.  You can even ask in groups if other people know of the account selling the tickets.

  ~ My Last Humble Opinion ~

  Last year, Love Yourself tour tickets for Metlife Stadium had a decent resale price on StubHub because many ARMY had already purchased tickets: extremely overpriced resale tickets and multiple face value tickets in hopes for the right seats.  I’ve seen many ARMY say they might sit this tour out because they’re broke like me, they’re saving for other kpop concerts, or they’re unsure how different the Speak Yourself concert will be from Love Yourself stages.  That ups the chances for tickets and, if the demand isn’t as high as last time, the resale prices will go down about two or three days from the concert date and they’ll become lower the day of.  Hell, Ontario wasn’t a popular destination and those tickets were nuts.

Just don’t buy tickets because you can and then hold them in hopes of better tickets.  There will be more chances.  There were lots of tickets that were unclaimed.  Some of the top tier levels. Were. Not. Full.

So anything is possible! Believe it and stay fighting!

  There you have it: This behemoth posting that tired me out enough over the weeks that I had to just publish the sucker and get it over with! LOL! Hopefully, this is useful.  I wanted to get it out sooner than the day Speak Yourself tickets go on sale.  I also forgot about DPR! Oh well. (੭ ˃̣̣̥ ω˂̣̣̥)੭

Experience: #LoveYourselfInChicago where I learned first hand what PCD is and the overwhelming disgrace of blacking out. Before BTS in Chicago, I didn’t believe in post-concert depression.  Clearly, I was wrong. BE FOREWARNED!