#I demand historically accurate memes

[cuneiformkey]

The DBD Fandom largely refers to the character of Edwin Payne incorrectly as “Victorian” instead of placing him properly within his Edwardian era. The Edwardian erasure results in fundamental misunderstandings of Payne’s place and time within history and ultimately the narrative itself. In this essay I will

[cookinguptales]

...well, to start with, because this is tumblr and I'm mostly here for tarot, memes, and silly vampire porn. The things I discuss IRL, the things I donate to, and the things I support are not always reflected in the social media where I come to unwind.

The second reason is because I was literally in another country for over a month. I have multiple chronic illnesses and I've barely been keeping my head above water and the last thing I wanted to do was post about international politics. The fact that you think it's appropriate to just go up to random people that you may or may not even know and demand that they weigh in on important issues in the manner, environment, and time period of your choosing is uhhh bizarre!

In fact, I debated replying to this at all just because it is such an out-of-line demand to make on fucking Tumblr of all places. But I do actually have thoughts on the subject, and I guess it's as good a time as any.

The third and honestly most important reason I haven't said much publicly is this: there has been a lot of misinformation spreading about this issue. It's quickly become apparent to me that this is a fight that's being fought through propaganda, and it's not always been easy for me to figure out which news articles are accurate. I see an article go up, then an article criticizing it, then a retraction, then a retraction of a retraction. I see horrifying videos being posted, then it coming out that they're from a completely different conflict. Hell, I've seen people I used to respect quoting straight-up conspiracy theory weirdos because they agree with what they're saying on this particular subject.

(Yes, I did notice the person who put fucking RFK Jr. on my Tumblr dash like he was a hero.)

As a general rule, I am against the slaughter of innocents, which is why I have been historically against many of Israel's actions in Palestine. It's why I am against the actions they are taking now, which, no matter how you slice it, seem to be using a terrible tragedy as an excuse to enact one that is several hundred times worse.

But I have to admit that I've also been looking at several of my acquaintances very differently as they talk about how the slaughter of other innocents is ideal, and I've gotten really uncomfortable with the implications of some of their posts.

(And to be very clear, when I talk about posts celebrating the deaths of civilians, I'm not talking about things that are pro-decolonization or anything, I'm talking about people I know who, when the news first broke and very little was known, explicitly said that being against the murder of non-combatants means that you are not acceptably dedicated to revolution. And like... no, I do not believe that's an acceptable (or even effective) way to achieve peace.)

Plus, I do not believe that all criticism of Israel is antisemitic, but several posts I've seen lately have been very undeniably antisemitic. (And yes, others have been islamophobic as well.) I've seen people attributing the actions of Israel's government and military to all Jewish people worldwide. I've seen people who are boosting the voices of literal Neo-Nazis. I've seen conspiracy theories that are honestly just straight-up rehashes of blood libel. And I've seen a lot of posts, far too many posts, that seem happy to indulge in old tropes about Jews controlling the media instead of looking at the political effects of mainstream Evangelical eschatology.

Like... I've seen a lot of well-meaning people post things that are inaccurate, misleading, or straight-up hateful propaganda. Against either side, really. Against both.

And frankly, I am afraid that, through ignorance, I might do the same. I've seen posts that seem normal to me, only to be shown how they contain dogwhistles or inaccuracies that feed into longstanding stereotypes. I've seen news articles (supporting both sides) that seem accurate only to turn out to be sloppily reported inaccuracies, if not straight-up lies.

While I've been supporting human rights organizations IRL, I do not feel as if I am so qualified to speak on this subject that I won't accidentally do harm. While I am usually content simply boosting others' voices, in this situation I am afraid that I might spread misinformation that might hurt Palestinians or Jewish people that have nothing to do with the conflict. Hell, there are a lot of other groups that are getting caught in the crossfire, too. Even people who live in Israel who aren't politicians/combatants aren't people that I want harmed.

(Like... I wouldn't want to be judged based on what my country's politicians, military, and most outspoken racists have done, either, y'know? I do not believe that there is any country where every person in it is bad.)

Honestly speaking, there are a lot of subjects that I think are important that I don't talk about publicly. I talk about things like queer issues and disability issues because I feel like I have firsthand knowledge of those things and am unlikely to accidentally post like... fucking alt-right propaganda or something. But with... really probably most issues, I tend to keep quiet and do my best to listen to people who know better than I do.

Which is not always a fucking bad thing!

So... you might have noticed that I screencapped this ask rather than answering it. This is because I wanted to be able to block you from my inbox after answering your concerns. Like damn, learn some fucking social skills.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

the more I read abt it the more I think the firing of Victoria Alonso is a bad sign, bc she wasn't just some uninvolved suit she was working on the movies from the beginning and approving all the final visuals, so hearing her as a gay Latina talking about trying to push for better representation and publicly criticizing Disney for funding the Don't Say Gay stuff is a bit chilling, along with reading the articles that she recently conflicted with marvel over refusing to blur out pride flags in the background of the newest antman & how they got mad at her for promoting an Argentinian historical film about a dictatorship in Argentina that the US sponsored during/as part of the Cold War.

feels like her firing wasn't just a lot of the mass cost-cutting going on rn, but also part of an american boy's club culture among others in power over there that was tired of her pushing for lgbt inclusion and doing projects that promoted not just non-American politics but specifically politics that questioned the US' 20th century legacy and its heavy revisionism upheld by America's history books & propagandized media. It's like the marvel brand pushing towards a uniform US-centrism that makes little room for minorities cultures or stories that can encroach against their American corporate politics too directly without being behind a bunch of opaque metaphors or being brushed away to the background or being overwritten by newer stories that do away with opportunities for representation or inclusion of other perspectives.

Ask #2:

I mean, look at the how marvel in paper and cinematic mediums treated the Winter Soldier Cap plotline. It had Steve and Bucky, 2 soldiers who served their country to fight Nazis in WW2 in an integrated transnational unit, both get dragged into the 21st century to find that the Captain America image has been turned into a propaganda tool by the government and the very same government hired and funded the Nazis they fought in WW2, who then turned Bucky into a mindcontrolled slave. That had the potential to have the most direct analogy and critique of the IRL USA, but then what happens in the fallout of that movie and how do the characters and world get affected by this revelation?

Nothing much, there's no lingering distrust in the government that funded this, even among characters who were directly affected. Characters with origins in the same Nazi organization get funny dances and memes or favorable adaptations. Even though Steve dropped the shield and Cap role, this hardly turns into a long term character development of him questioning the country he serves (as an Irish immigrant in the early 20th c who would've been other-ized already) instead Steve goes back to fighting for it under a notion of legacy and symbol and the shield is characterized as so so important to him. Bucky, the one most directly affected by the US hiring the Nazis who enslaved him, just ends up meekly serving the government itself and trying to abide by its criminal laws that deemed him a perpetrator even though reasonable minds, Steve, should be demanding reparations even if there's no hope of that actually happening. There's no reckoning to how both Bucky and Steve being treated as little else than supersoldier weapons by their own government. Instead, newer stories just focus on more ways they can serve it without ever questioning the very core of their inexplicable loyalty to an entity that took part of their exploitation, which could serve as a cathartic progression and consequence of the Winter Soldier plotline and create potential for fresher stories that deal with what if the former Cap characters said "enough of this BS," but instead marvel church's out more of the cap'n murrica: [insert name of IRL war the US has heavily propagandized the shit of and now uses for patriotic media marketing]

that really shows the limitations of what marvel does with their politics, the closest thing they got to accurate historical critique of a real life event (the Western Allies hiring Nazis post-WW2) also gave birth to the most popular take on the characters in both mediums, and yet none of it comes close to actually pushing the status quo in the fictional world or to progressing the characters into something that reflects their stances on the exploitation they underwent by "their own people." The characters involved ironically almost develop amnesia to the bombshells in the Winter Soldier plotline and regress into Generic Murrican Old White Guy #1 and #2 to serve as prop pieces within US-centric status quo stories ad infinitum

Ask #3:

to give a more specific example: marvel's newest Captain America event thing goes by "Cold War" and is about a secret shadow government that controls the entire world (gee, wonder what kind of far rightist repeats that kind of conspiracy theory) and they are also known as... The Revolution (really tossing aside all subtlety there!) and they're conveniently responsible for every bad thing the USA and its allies did for the past 200 years (way to completely render their best Cap story meaningless)

meanwhile, the IRL Cold War had the US fund fascist movements in Africa, Asia & LatAm (literally what the 1985 Argentinian film that marvel's execs got annoyed with is about) and said movements repressed grassroots movements constituted by people at the bottom of the political hierarchies there, not a secretly powerful group known as "The Revolution."

Their newest comics completely turn the "Cold War" on its head to appeal to the reactionary anxieties that America is secretly under attack by some secret shadow group, even when the IRL power dynamic was radically different. The WS stories were the closest they ever got to pulling away from regurgitating decades-old US propaganda, and it also happens to be the most popular and humanizing in fleshing out its characters into with actual emotion and connection. And yet the franchise can't help but revert back to their roots and invalidate that entire story just so they can repeatedly pumping out Murrican stories that'd make McCarthy look up and smile.

Sorry I didn't respond to this for a while, I wanted to make sure I had the time to sit down and read and appreciate what you had to say. And as far as I'm aware of Marvel stuff, I can safely say, unfortunately, I think you're right. Right on the money.

I don't think her firing was cutting costs or anything of the sort. If they could fire anyone... it seems very targeted to fire her, and it, sadly, doesn't surprise me 🙃

I hate it here.

Anyway, thank you for taking the time to write all this down because yes--you're so right, and I don't actually have much of anything to add because you explained it so well. You're being critical, and it's good. Recognizing what is happening is the first step to changing what is happening.

It's beyond shitty that huge corporations like Marvel can't be representative and diverse and kill so, so much of the actually interesting parts of their content in favor of saving face for more conservative views and people.

[aion-rsa]

From Bridgerton to Hamilton: A History of Color-Conscious Casting in Period Drama

https://ift.tt/2IQI6Ak

Note: This Bridgerton article contains no book or series plot spoilers.

Bridgerton is a unique mix of Shonda Rhimes’ dedication to Black representation on American television and the British period drama tradition. White critics may dismiss this trend as unnecessary “pandering” to Black and POC viewers, but the number of productions designed around reforming all white-casting has increased over the past 10 years—and has only added to the success of the genre. The number one reason driving demand for diverse period dramas is from Black and POC fans of the genre. The impact of seeing an actor that looks like you can’t be measured in ratings or clicks online. Despite facing years of content and fandom overtly or covertly claiming that the universal themes in period dramas are not “for us”; the tide is starting to turn as fans use social media and the power of ratings to ask for more representation. 

A quick overview of recent Regency England-set productions leaves much to be desired. Although the 2018 Amazon Prime/ITV miniseries and the 2005 movie adaptations of Vanity Fair left in West Indian and Jewish heiress Miss Schwarz, she is one of many supporting characters. PBS/ITV’s Sanditon, on the one hand, improved representation by prominently featuring Georgiana Lambe. However, her story was a huge disappointment to Black and POC fans who expected her plotline to end happily or at least have her conflicts resolved. 

There have been three paths traditionally towards increasing diversity in period dramas: 1) blind casting (also called racebending), where Black and POC actors play traditionally white characters adding original Black characters to existing fictional works, and 2) Own Voices, where Black and POC writers share their own stories. These two are not mutually exclusive, but, in the world of British period drama, the former is more frequently used, as the bedrock of the genre is adapting existing novels and plays by white authors.

The theoretical framework for inclusive casting begins in the world of staging period drama at the theater. In Shakespeare’s day, men played women’s roles as women were not allowed to appear on stage. The genre evolved in later centuries to allow women to appear on stage, but the tradition of having actors who didn’t match the original descriptions remained. This is even true of his history plays where real women royalty were characters. Ira Aldridge in the 1840s was the first Black actor in Britain to play traditionally white roles on stage. Later on, in the 19th century, several stage adaptations of Jane Austen’s works had all-women casts. 

Fast forward to 2015, when Lin-Manuel Miranda in Hamilton redefined what it meant to cast inclusively in modern period dramas by using actors descended from slavery and colonialism to play the Founding Fathers. Every aspect of the musical was designed to reframe the existing narrative of early American history. The costume design also reflected the identities of the actor by featuring braids, locs, and textured hairstyles over 18th century white hairstyles. Rap lyrics conveyed to the audience the names, dates, and other descriptions of the Revolutionary War. The old adage that someone must “look the part” to play a biographical role was thrown out the window.

Hamilton proved that many of the old excuses used to sideline diverse period dramas no longer held to be true. Millions of white people listened to the cast album, brought tickets, or streamed the movie on Disney+. UK theater patrons flocked to the West End cast of Hamilton, as well, before the pandemic. Memes, parodies, and more on social media proved that white audiences can conceptualize historical figures as fictional characters while also knowing the real figures looked and acted quite differently. Fans of the show pushed Ron Chernow’s biography back onto the bestseller lists as they wanted to read what really happened. 

The first clear impact the show had on the genre of British period drama comes from a mystery. Daisy Coulam, Grantchester’s head screenwriter, cited reading an interview with Miranda as the inspiration behind the exit plotline for James Norton’s character Sidney Chambers. UK crime dramas  For those unfamiliar with the series, Grantchester is a mystery procedural based on a series of books about a 1950s crime-solving Anglican vicar by James Runcie. Norton’s exit plotline in Season 4 generated an original to the show character named Violet who was the daughter of a visiting African-American preacher. Violet was an original character who forced the audience to consider that the US civil rights movement indeed reached their treasured vision of the lily-white British countryside. Coulam already laid the groundwork for Violet in earlier seasons by abandoning large sections of the original novel timeline and but keeping the case of the week focused on addressing 1950’s social issues. Fans heavily criticized Coulam’s writing for style and pacing, but her imagination clearly indicates that Hamilton’s proven formula for disrupting established historical aesthetics can just as easily be applied to fictional depictions of the UK’s past as blind casting a biography-based series or depicting real figures of Black British history. 

Other period dramas released in recent years share traces of Hamilton’s impact but in a more thematic and less direct different way. Some shows turned real Black British figures into fictional characters. Lina (Stephanie Levi-John) and Oviedo (Aaron Cobham) on The Spanish Princess are composites of Catherine of Aragon’s servants and several famous Black Tudors. Catherine “Kitty” Despard (Kerri McClean) in Poldark Season 5 was a forgotten Black British figure added in to expand the world outlined in the novels. Victoria featured Ira Aldridge (Ashley Zhangazha) mentioned earlier, plus spotlighted the Queen’s adopted daughter Sarah-Forbes Bonetta and Cuffay (C.J. Beckford) as the leader of the proto-socialist Chartists. Lucille Anderson (Leonie Elliott) on Call the Midwife was not mentioned in the original memoirs, but she was added to represent the Caribbean nurses from the Windrush Generation of UK immigrants.  

Racebent casting also increased. Dev Patel’s role as the title character in the movie The Personal History of David Copperfield proved that Dickens adaptations could indeed include POC casts without changing the fundamental plot and message. PBS/BBC’s Les Miserables miniseries also extended the Broadway tradition of casting Black actors in traditionally white coded classic literature characters. Hulu’s The Great featured Sacha Dhawan and several Black actors as Russian nobility, politicians, and courtiers. 

All of these series, however, carefully attempted to stay grounded in recreating the original source material or invested in faithfully replicating the era they were set in. Bridgerton radically expands upon Hamilton’s formula by divorcing inclusive casting from any desire to accurately recreate historical events, eras, or figures. Romance, fantasy, and social/familial drama are universal themes that don’t depend on having a white-dominant vision of society. Quinn’s original novel series sparingly referred to historical events during the Regency Era. Her focus was on creating a world where the most important events were balls and weddings. More Dukes and other holders of inherited titles exist in her vision of the Ton (the most elite members of Regency society) than in reality. Historians would likely dispute her characterization of the elite social season as well. Characters’ internal dialogue is in modern English peppered with regional accents and slang. They rarely lampshade or criticize the way of society beyond their romantic desires and family obligations. Readers see the physical intimacy on the page Austen never mentioned. This literary environment is ripe for inclusive casting on screen. 

The most critical flip in characterization is Simon, Duke of Hastings (Regé-Jean Page). His character is the romantic hero of the first book in the series The Duke and I and is the character that set fan expectations high for future novels. Simon having visibly African features and yet being an object of desire is incredibly subversive in a genre where white beauty standards dominate hetero and homosexual fiction.

Lady Danbury (Adjoa Andoh), Simon’s godmother, is an elder stateswoman and a twist on the battle-ax aunt trope popular in period dramas. She isn’t as caustic and insulting as some other famous widows and spinsters but she commands authority and a mansion filled with people to perform all the hard labor. Lady Danbury is even implied to be slightly higher in status than her white counterparts with children of marrying age Lady Violet Bridgerton (Ruth Gemmell) and Lady Portia Featherington (Polly Walker).

Queen Charlotte (Golda Rosheuve) being played by a biracial woman is actually a subtle Easter Egg to existing history debates. Many have debated if her portraits were airbrushed to disguise African features. A few years ago, a documentary established her African ancestry is via the Portuguese royals. All of her scenes involve petting her Pomeranian, demanding to know the latest gossip, and manipulating the gentry into doing her bidding. 

The miniseries doesn’t end the racial diversity with those at the highest social rank or even at the lower orders of domestic servants. Marina Thompson (Ruby Barker) is a cousin of the Featheringtons and represents the “poor relation” character popular in stories based on the British gentry. A Black modiste (dressmaker) trained in French fashion makes all of the dresses the characters wear. Will Mondrich (Martins Imhangbe) is a boxer, likely a reference to former slave turned bare-knuckle boxer Bill Richmond. Alongside the characters with plot lines viewers follow, there is a conscious effort to hire Black and POC extras to fill in crowd scenes at balls, park scenes, and other public events. The viewer sees people who look like themselves in every class level of society and can feel like they too can become part of their world. 

Read more

TV

How Bridgerton Can Avoid Outlander’s Mistakes

By Amanda-Rae Prescott

Books

Bridgerton: Cast Announced for Shonda Rhimes Netflix Series

By Alec Bojalad

Attire is a critical part of upholding the fantasy and cultural diversity Bridgerton and also in communicating to the audience the series isn’t your aunt’s neutral tone Austen adaptation. Marina and Lady Danbury would never be caught dead in a plain white muslin frock. All of the popular Regency hairstyles for women have been modified and reworked for natural textured hair, braids, and locs. Some of the Black male extras even have modern African hairstyles left in tact. The only Black characters who wear the traditional white wigs are older men or servants in full formal uniform. Queen Charlotte’s Black courtiers and servants wear a mixture of extravagant 1770s and 1780s attire and Regency court wear to create a physical separation between them and the rest of the ensemble cast. These style decisions are right out of the playbook of Still Star-Crossed, Shondaland’s first foray into period drama. Although that series took place in 1300’s Italy, the priority was on blending fantasy and Black fashion aesthetics over catering to white costume enthusiasts and reenactors.

In the world of Bridgerton, slavery and colonialism are directly or indirectly referenced exceedingly sparingly. One reference is to Lord Dunmore’s army of emancipated and runaway slaves during the Revolutionary War proclamation. (Hercules Mulligan’s Black troops referenced in “Stay Alive” is the Patriot equivalent of Dunmore’s forces). These sparing hints make it clear to the viewers that class, family, and personal family drama is the root cause of joy and pain in this series.  

Since Bridgerton is completely ignoring the physical descriptions of the characters in many cases, the set design carries the bulk of the attention to historical detail. The series hired Dr. Hannah Greig as a historical advisor to ensure these details were as close to 1813 as possible. Greig has previously acted as a consultant to the Sanditon, Poldark, and The Duchess cast and crew is likely where the Easter Eggs in character references come from. Lavish mansions and castles and the more humble spaces ground the fantastical plot details in historical reality. Several previous period dramas have recreated the Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens, but these scenes in the miniseries are elevated to the next level thanks to Netflix’s budget.

Read more

TV

Noughts + Crosses: Why You Should Watch This Afrofuturist Alternate History Romance

By Amanda-Rae Prescott

TV

World on Fire Returns People of Color to the Dunkirk Narrative

By Amanda-Rae Prescott

The success of Bridgerton applying color-conscious casting to a fantasy/romance series has implications far beyond potential future seasons. Studios especially those in the UK have been hesitant to utilize recent historical romance books for screen adaptations. Modern historical fiction by Black and POC authors (called Own Voices fiction)  which is crucial in the fight for increased representation. Novelists such as Beverly Jenkins, Courtney Milan, and Alyssa Cole have written romances set in the Regency and other eras of American and British History that can easily be transformed into movies and miniseries. Some of these novels recreate existing history while others lean into escapist fantasy. The ultimate goal in period drama representation is for Black and POC creatives to tell their own stories covering all the ranges of emotion, not just historical trauma.

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Critics can keep attacking period dramas for being “too woke” (a term that was stolen from anti-racism activists) for remembering that white people aren’t the only inhabitants of the British Isles and America, but series like Bridgerton are here to stay. Black and POC viewers and readers of period drama and romance fiction always existed, and viewership will only grow if more inclusive period romance projects are greenlit in the future.  

The post From Bridgerton to Hamilton: A History of Color-Conscious Casting in Period Drama appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3mjLv8v

[initiare]

Knowing your partner well makes writing together a lot easier. tag this with the people you want to get to know better. ( Repost, don’t reblog! )

The basics!

Name: Sae.  Age: 28.  Pronouns: She/her.  Zodiac sign: Cancer.  Taken or single: I might’ve staked my claim to @leuthros​ a while back. She said that if I finish the TMI series before summer ends (if I’m still alive by then), there may just be an autumn wedding. I demand that a good, airy chocolate mousse to be present, though.

Three facts!

I. Born to a French mother and Dutch father who were one of the people who believed it best to speak their respective languages to their children (always going to be grateful); I’m bilingual and have both nationalities. English is my third language, following Dutch, and then French. If I could learn any more after those, it’d be Italian and then Russian, in that order. II. Writing has been an incredible eye-opener for me in numerous ways. I’ve learned my strengths and weaknesses through it more than anything ever has, as it’s introduced me to a while different level of self-reflection. But it’s not just that, it’s also shown me my passions and what’s in my heart— an example, sometime around this period last year, I decided to write Francis II, from Reign. And while not historically accurate in his depiction on its own, they realistically supplied his reinvention with some extremely core French values that you don’t see in many other French-written characters on television at all. And seeing him when I did, struck a very deep chord with me and opened my eyes to how intensely proud I am to be part of that nation, of those principles. III. What I’m like? Let’s see, if you were to combine Elaine Benes from Seinfeld with Dorothy Zbornak from the Golden Girls, then add a few scoops of introversion and Toby Rego’s awkwardness, voila.

Experience!

Platforms you’ve used: Easy peasy; Tumblr. Years active: August will mark six years.

Muse preference!

Female or male: Used to be exclusively female, couldn't even fathom writing male muses in any way. Nothing against them, just wasn’t my cup of tea. Then I made an Ezio Auditore out of spite one day (long story, but comes down to them getting one of his very obvious core values ever so wrong), and ever since, I’ve been hooked on male muses. Not going back. Least favorite face(s): To be entirely honest, I’m still fed up over having seen Nina Dobrev as often as I have in the four years I was in the TVD fandom for, and it’s been two/three years since I was active in it. And, I’m only partly sorry for saying what I’m about to say, but I’m not huge on Kat McNamara? It’s not per say that I loathe seeing her, it’s just— I don’t see the draw that many do. Favorite faces: Massive bias incoming. Jamie Campbell Bower, Toby Regbo, Lily Collins, Jeffrey Dean Morgan (no, not because of Negan, leave me alone). Multi or single: I’m a one (two at most, but I usually fail at it) muse kinda person.

Writing preference!

Fluff, angst, or smut? Angst, then fluff. I’ll write anything leading up to smut, but I’ll fade to black. Plots or memes? I’m huge on plotting, but I like memes— I end up turning them into massive plots at one point or another (be warned?)

Tagged by: @takeseffort​ (thank you, darlin <3) Tagging: @owncreator @fortuitoushost @leuthros @beggarsdie @xncertainty @edomson @beastmade @serpentcoil @seraphinam @lilithblooded​

[le-sejour]

Folly

Words: 1383

Pairing: some very slight Thomas Jefferson x Reader

World: Modern/College AU

Warning: cursing, mentions of furry porn, seductive turtle, Theatre Kid! Alexander, vague to no plotline: just actual stupidity w some romance if you squint

Prompt: Inspired by real chats and true events. One of my greatest friends seriously makes me think of a modern day Alexander Hamilton... Also, he’s a gold mine of hilarious fuck ups and I’m glad I’m there to witness it.

A/N: sweats I’M WORKING ON THE ORGY FIC, ASSUMPTIONS PT2 aND UNDER ARREST I SWEAR I JUST NEEDED TO GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM and also to let u know i’m still alive LMAO

Enjoy~

MacNCheezy: Hey, doll

You: Yes, T?

MacNCheezy: You wanna make $10?

You: I’m not selling drugs for you, Thomas.

MacNCheezy is typing…

Pulling your [h/l] [h/c] hair into a low ponytail, you laughed as the chat window informed you that Thomas was writing and rewriting his response. It was amusing to see him flustered, even if you couldn’t actually see him. The thought of his indignant huffing and puffing was enough to brighten the already shitty day you’ve just had.

Thomas stared into his phone with disbelief. Here he was, genuinely trying to help a friend out (he’ll end up benefiting from this anyway, but, shh) and you were being impudent! The nerve of some people, honestly.

You: Oh, you would know a lot about the drug market, wouldn’t you, sweetheart?

He considers on sending the message then and there, but knew you would jump at the opportunity to Fight™ so he quickly types in his initial intentions.

But your connection to sketchy trades is not why I’m here. I have a commission for you.

ItsKittenBitch: Oh? Yknow I’d rather fuck a cactus than get into bed w you, baby boo.❤️ 

ItsKittenBitch: Besides, $10 is cheap, even for a corner street hooker. 

ItsKittenBitch: Up your game, Teej, and I’ll maybe consider holding ur hand. 😘

The mocaccino incarnate drags his hand over his face in irritation. Why was he asking you again? Oh, right, you were actually more tolerable than the squad you liked to hang around. And also Jemmy was still too sick to help him out.

You: Will you be serious for once, [F/Name]? I’m in a tight spot.

You rolled your eyes as your fluffy haired friend described the situation to you. He lamented over how he had to take care of James while he was swamped with papers for his major and his part-time gig at a local online publication.  

You: So you’re basically asking me to be a ghostwriter for a ghostwriter? 👀 👀

MacNCheezy: Yes, [F/Name], that’s exactly what I’m asking you to do.

You: What do I get out of it?

MacNCheezy is typing...

You: I’m kidding, Thomas. Don’t get your hair curlers in a notch. 

You: I know I get $10 for 500 words. I’ll do it. 

You:  But I’m also expecting ice cream and mac and cheese for this.

MacNCheezy: If you wanted a date that badly, you should’ve just asked, sugar. 😏

You: e w, can you not with the emojis, old man? 😩 You trying to be cool is just... sad. 😔

MacNCheezy: Just give the article to me in 3 or so hours, or you’re not getting ice cream. 

MacNCheezy: I hear the parlor down the street is having two-scoop Tuesday and it would be a terrible shame for us to miss it.

You: I can get ice cream on my own, ya kno

MacNCheezy: I know for a fact you like being treated to free ice cream because you’re broke, [F/Name].

You: di s gu st i ng. You exploit my weakness for free food.

MacNCheezy: See you in 3 or so hours, sweetheart. 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 ☺️ 😊 😇 🙂 🙃 😉 😌 😍 😘 😗 😙 😚 😋 😜 😝 😛🤑 🤗  😎 🤡 🤠 😏 

You: s T O p 😫😤

It’s been two hours since you’ve been click-clacking away on your laptop, and after agreeing with yourself that you’ve written a decent first draft, you decided to take a break. Drawing one knee up to your chest, you pulled up your web browser and logged onto your Facebook.

Alenhamner Cameltoe: yo [N/Name]!

You: sup non stop kids bop

Alenhamner Cameltoe: I just thought of something

You: wooooah there slow down don’t hurt urself Alex

Alenhamner Cameltoe: Blatantly ignoring that comment fueled by self-hate

I realized why they changed the plot of Anastasia for the stage play.

You: Uh... they did?

Alenhamner Cameltoe: They did.

Rasputin isn't the villain. It's Ramin Karimloo as a violent Bolchevik.

You: huh. Why’d they do that?

Alenhamner Cameltoe: Because...

In the animation, and this was okay for the 90s, right?

Rasputin hates the Tzar over a power struggle so he casts some magic to make the people unhappy and revolt so they kill the Romanovs.

Basically the entire Russian Revolution is because a wizard got mad.

Not because of oppression. Not because of Imperialism..

But because a wizard got mad.

You stared at the screen in slight amusement. Looks like Alex was in his rant days. (You also suspected he was hopped up on several cups of coffee, but you’d let John worry about that.) You shook your head and clicked back to your word document to begin proofreading your piece. You’ll just let him continue to flood your inbox and read over it when he’s done.

After a few minutes of complete silence sans the clacking of your keyboard, you finally realized Alexander had finished telling his story. You read over your piece to make sure it was to your satisfaction before maneuvering back to Facebook.

Alenhamner Cameltoe: So it paints the Romanovs as the heroic victims of this story.

Nowhere does it mention why they were killed and what atrocities were comitted by the aristocracy on the Russian working class.

The plot actually won't hold up today.

Today's audiences wouldn't actually approve of a story like that.

... also you get awesome historical reference lyrics like this.

LINK

The original animation, if released today would be criticized for historical revisionism.

The link opened to another site. You didn’t bother checking the url because it was probably a lyric site or youtube, so you casually scrolled through your newsfeed while it loaded.

A couple of cat videos and a bunch of overused memes later, you found yourself switching to the fully loaded tab.

Boy, you wish you hadn’t because what the fuck.

On your screen sat an anthropomorphic t u r t l e in a very suggestive pose giving you very real, very unnerving bedroom eyes. Chills ran up and down your spine as you checked the url, horrified at learning it was a fucking furry site. 

What the fuck, Alexander.

Hastily, you clicked out of that website before going back to your chatbox. You rechecked the site he gave you, wondering if you somehow misclicked. But no, there the link was, bright as day. To a fucking porn site for furries.

You: WhaT thE fU c K, Ha  mi lt o n

Alenhamner Cameltoe: I KNOW RIGHT?! 

The play might be even better than the animation! 

Wait, what am I talking about? Of course the play is already better by comparison because it plays to a more historically accurate context.

You stared at the screen in confusion. Wait, so... he wasn’t pranking you...? Then that meant...

You: yo if yall wanna be furries das fine w me

Alenhamner Cameltoe: Huh?

You: but keep your porn away from me

Alenhamner Cameltoe: ???

!!!!!!!!!

WAIT NO

THAT’S FURRY PORN

REAL LINK

THIS IS ANASTASIA

You: yo I won’t judge ur weird sexual fetishes, boi. Just make sure it’s safe, sane, and consensual.

Alenhamner Cameltoe: NO!!!

NO THAT’S NOT MINE!

THAT’S A PRANK I PLAYED ON JOHN

GOD DAMN IT I RUINED MY HISTORICAL REVISIONISM RANT

You: L M A O

Greatest fails

Alenhamner Cameltoe: I was trying to gross him out for leaving his goddamned turtles out of the cage again.

You: congrats. you only played yourself. 😂 

Anyway I gotta go furry boi, Thomas owes me ice cream and mac and cheez

Alenhamner Cameltoe: I’M NOT A FURRY

THAT WAS FOR JOHN!

FOR JO H N !

Cackling madly, you logged off of Facebook. You pulled up your email account and forwarded your finished article to Thomas. Eh, you didn’t bother to proofread it a last time because you knew Thomas would be anal enough to go through it and edit it himself.

ItsKittenBitch: It is I, your savior, telling you that I have sent the feature to your email and demand compensation.

ItsKittenBitch: Now get off your ass and get ready for our date before I change my mind, old man. JemBuns will understand.

Thomas’ triumphant smirk melted into a fond smile as he pocketed his phone, handing James a fresh box of kleenex before getting ready.

[inallofpeculiardom]

witches, snickers, and skeletons

witches: My favorite type of female character is the kind that demands not to be sidelined. Like, we’ve all heard of the romantic interest...and know she’s pretty 2D and there’s nothing much too her (unfortunately that’s just the way a lot of women are written and it sucks)...but what I really love is a girl like Inej Ghafa or Emma Bloom or Korra.....like, there’s so much more to them. They’re people and it’s great when they’re being treated as such. 

snickers: something that makes me always laugh...hm...well those rip vine videos usually do the trick. And any episode of Gravity Falls. 

skeletons: My favorite meme Of All Time is basically anything that came out of that History of Japan video, and then, subsequently, the History of The World video. Comedy gold. And, historically accurate.

haha, thanks!

[notyorktimes]

Andrew Sullivan is a Lying Racist

Andrew Sullivan has long exposed himself as a white supremacist. Today, he’s got a terrible opinion piece in New York (not the Times) that advances demonstrably false or explicitly racist claims. I want to thoroughly fisk it. His first paragraph is unobjectionable. He objects to the evil policies Trump imposes on migrants on our Southern border. Any other position is evil, cruel, stupid, and wrong. However, there is a but. “The starkness of the crisis is a good thing, though.” Classic fascist thinking. We need a crisis to cleanse our nation of moral impurity. “Until now, many have denied that any crisis existed at all.” Well, many have denied that climate change exists, which is actually a crisis that might destroy human civilization. Some might (accurately) argue that climate change is driving the migration crisis. Maybe we should address the root cause, instead of the symptoms. “They have, in fact, denied that the highest levels of mass immigration since the Bush years are an issue at all.” Wait, wut? Shouldn’t mass immigration have high levels? What is mass immigration? Does this even have a definition? Does that matter? Does mass immigration include legal immigration, because legal immigration is back to historic norms from the late 19th and early 20th centuries? However, unauthorized immigration is way down. Sullivan then quotes a number of prominent politicians and thinkers who all, correctly, note that immigration to the United States is not in a crisis. Sullivan then asks when these people will admit that their factually accurate beliefs are in fact, not true, even though they are true. There are FOUR LIGHTS, Andrew. Sullivan then praises Nancy Pelosi for trying to provide soap and toothbrushes to the migrants in detention. Note that a number of Republicans opposed this BECAUSE they thought that these children did not deserve these things. That seems like something worth mentioning. However, Sullivan ignores that to address the REAL fake problem, people fleeing violence. Sullivan has great praise for the idea that refugees should have their refugee petition adjudicated in the countries where they are more likely than not to fear serious persecution, meaning death, great bodily injury, or serious property loss. This sounds like a fantastic idea that can’t go wrong in any way shape or form. Congrats, Sully! Just stay in the place people want to kill you until we have determined that those people are trying to kill you. “These are all good ideas and certainly worth trying. But what they don’t address is the larger problem of how to reduce levels of mass immigration.” We still don’t know what Sully thinks “mass immigration” is or why it’s bad, but we know he’s against it. Let’s pause for a second and debunk ONCE AGAIN all of the racist lies against immigration: 1) Immigrants don’t steal jobs, they create jobs by demanding goods and services. 2) Immigrants are more likely than those born in the U.S. to be entrepreneurs and to hire U.S. workers. 3) Immigrants as a group are better educated than U.S. workers as a group. 4) Immigrants do not drive down wages, because they create additional jobs. 5) Immigrants commit crimes at a lower rate than those born in the U.S. 6) Immigrants do not carry disease or medical problems. 7) Immigrants, even unauthorized ones, pay taxes at a higher rate of their income and expected government services than U.S. citizens. THE ONLY REASON TO OPPOSE IMMIGRATION IS ONE’S SUBJECTIVE DISLIKE OF PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFERENT THAN YOU. Oh, but Sully is worried that we’re being too generous with asylum, A LAWFUL IMMIGRATION STATUS. He thinks that people who are afraid of crime should just suck it up and deal with it and not come here and make our country better, which is what they would do. Sully then invokes the term “open borders,” which, the way he uses it, renders it totally meaningless. If what Sully describes as open borders is wrong, I don’t want to be right. Then Sully makes an astonishingly ridiculous claim, that Democrats are out of step with U.S. voters on immigration. This is false 19 ways to Sunday. Donald Trump lost the popular vote in 2016 and has never had favorability ratings above 50% unlike every other President for whom favorability ratings were measured. Additionally, all the data shows that Donald Trump’s hatefulness has increased support for immigration in the United States. “I’m told that I’m a white supremacist for believing in borders, nation-states, and a reduction in legal immigration to slow the pace of this country’s demographic revolution.” Well, Sully, these are all ideas put forward by white supremacists, so a white supremacist is as a white supremacist does. “When I’m told only white racists favor restrictionism, I note how the Mexican people are more opposed to illegal immigration than Americans: In a new poll, 61.5 percent of Mexicans oppose the entry of undocumented migrants, period; 44 percent believe that Mexico should remove any undocumented alien immediately. Are Mexicans now white supremacists too?” Insert Captain Picard face palm meme. Yes, Sully, white Mexicans are in fact, very racist. Mexico is a very racist country. And less indigenous Mexicans are very racist against their more indigenous neighbors to their south. The fact that you don’t know this suggests you should shut the fuck up forever about racism and immigration. “Are the Japanese and Chinese ‘white supremacists’?” Well, they surely are chauvinist and racist against people who aren’t Japanese and Chinese. I guess it depends on your definition of “whiteness,” but the populations of Japan and China are very racist. “I suspect that the Democrats’ new position — everyone in the world can become an American if they walk over the border and never commit a crime — is political suicide.”  Andrew, if you spent merely 15 minutes googling this, you would find out that you are wrong, but I guess deadlines are hard.

[hetaliaoccritique-blog1]

Lads !! //crawls out of hole

What up boys it your girl Meming back on t00mblr. 

Country/City/State Information- Name: مملكة البحرين / Mamlakat al-Baḥrayn Kingdom of Bahrain

This is perfect, tysm for not screwing up the Arabic ;;-;; 

Age: 46 { From Dec. 17 1971 on }

I would try to put in more here, the country age; 2250 is a good age for Bahrain at most, a few centuries after the country was inhabited mainly. However, you could also back up some more dates for the nation; 2600 years isn't bad either. 

However, the fact you specified nation age is great, especially the date!!

Capital City (if country): Manama Biggest City: Manama Boss (Mayor/President): Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa

Here you could include the other rulers; the Prime Minister, Khalifa Bin Salman al-Khalifa, or the crown prince, Salman bin Hamad bin Isa al-Khalifa.

Flag (Coat of Arms): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Flag_of_Bahrain.svg / https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Emblem_of_Bahrain.svg

The flag here is correct, but the official coat of arms of Bahrain is https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/6d/Emblem_of_Bahrain.svg/2000px-Emblem_of_Bahrain.svg.png ... Either way im loving this pls continue

Biggest Ethnic Group: Baharna

Maybe you could link a source for this? the Baharna usually live in Manama and Bahrainis usually recognise the largest ethnicity to be Bahraini; either way, i'm not saying you're wrong if this is a result of research!!

Language(s) spoken: Arabic (Bahraini, Gulf)  English Armenian (Armenians)  Balochi Hindi  Malayalam (Indians)  Pashto  Persian (Ajams)  Punjabi  Tamil  Urdu

Dam this all correct! Thank u for specifying them all aaa!!! Im gonna cry, you've done a lot of research so far and we not even done w/the review!!

Population: 2016 estimate - 1,378,000 Religion: Islam

Mainly Shi'a reside in Bahrain, at around 70% of the Muslim population. Maybe you could add this in ??

Government: Constitutional Monarchy Climate: WWF classifies Bahrain’s ecoregions as Persian Gulf desert and semi-desert, and the landscape is mostly arid desert. However, the marine habitats are very diverse, including seaweed beds, marshes and coral reefs as well as coastal islands. There are no mountains of importance except for the Jabal ad-Dukhan, at the centre of Bahrain island. Farming – date palms and fruits – is made possible, only to the north and north-east of this mountain, by the use of artesian wells, springs and desalination plants. The rest of the territory is desert, with some small lagoons. Economy: According to a January 2006 report by the United Nations Economic and Social Commission for Western Asia, Bahrain has the fastest growing economy in the Arab world. Bahrain also has the freest economy in the Middle East and is twelfth freest overall in the world based on the 2011 Index of Economic Freedom published by the Heritage Foundation/Wall Street Journal.

In 2008, Bahrain was named the world’s fastest growing financial center by the City of London’s Global Financial Centres Index. Bahrain’s banking and financial services sector, particularly Islamic banking, have benefited from the regional boom driven by demand for oil.[210] Petroleum production and processing is Bahrain’s most exported product, accounting for 60% of export receipts, 70% of government revenues, and 11% of GDP. Aluminium production is the second most exported product, followed by finance and construction materials.

Economic conditions have fluctuated with the changing price of oil since 1985, for example during and following the Persian Gulf crisis of 1990–91. With its highly developed communication and transport facilities, Bahrain is home to a number of multinational firms and construction proceeds on several major industrial projects. A large share of exports consist of petroleum products made from imported crude oil, which accounted for 51% of the country’s imports in 2007. Bahrain depends heavily on food imports to feed its growing population; it relies heavily on meat imports from Australia and also imports 75% of its total fruit consumption needs. Since only 2.9% of the country’s land is arable, agriculture contributes to 0.5% of Bahrain’s GDP. In 2004, Bahrain signed the US-Bahrain Free Trade Agreement, which will reduce certain trade barriers between the two nations. Due to the combination of the global financial crisis and the recent unrest, the growth rate decreased to 2.2% which is the lowest growth rate since 1994.

Unemployment, especially among the young, and the depletion of both oil and underground water resources are major long-term economic problems. In 2008, the jobless figure was at 4%, with women over represented at 85% of the total. In 2007 Bahrain became the first Arab country to institute unemployment benefits as part of a series of labour reforms instigated under Minister of Labour, Dr. Majeed Al Alawi.[217]

Now, i'm not saying this is bad; it's all good, it just seems very similar to the Wikipedia page. Almost c+p. But if this is a WIP area, keep going! I won't rat u out for this lmao, pretty good, nice info included. I won't point fingers, I understand if this is a TBA.

Human Information- Name: Ruqaiya Ali

From what I know, naming traditions in Bahrain are along the lines of;

Personal name (Ruqaiya) then bint (daughter of in Arabic), her father's name, then ibn (son of) her grandfather's name, then (Al-) Family name. So we can use the name Khadija bint Aisha ibn Mohammad al-Andalusi. However, the al- suffix usually relates to a person's place of birth, so al-Andalusi could change to al-Damashqi.

Nickname(s): Ruqia Age: 23 Gender: Female Birthday: December 17th Current Residence: Manama Language(s) spoken:  Bahrani Arabic English Armenian  Balochi Hindi  Malayalam  Pashto  Persian  Punjabi  Tamil  Urdu Bad Habit(s): { N / A ATM } Like(s): Pearls, Seafood { TBA } Dislike(s): { TBA } Hobbies: { TBA } Fear(s): { TBA } Equipment/Weapons: { TBA } Culture Favorites: { TBA } Personality: Ruqaiya is very hospitable and friendly towards expatriates. Shes very conservative and very patriotic and proud of her country. { TBA }

Thank you for specifying that these are tba, instead of the ppl that just write 'fears: one word that is not related to anything' so Guess What ur gr8

Appearance- Height: 5'1 { Average Height of Bahraini Women } Weight: 106 lb

This is all great, although a few sources tell me the height is even lower lmao, like 5'0.75, but 5'1 is accurate! Just a heads up if you want to add it (also it's easier for more to recognise it) - 5'1 is 155cm.

Hair: Semi Long and Curly, Goes around to her Shoulder Blades. Black in color.

Cool bro, but does she wear a headscarf (hijabs are common), specifically Muhtashima, a not-full hair covering, or the Muhajiba, fully covering the hair?

Eyes: A dark brown, appearing black. Skin: 23 in Von Luschans Skin Chart/Scale  Accent: Bahrani

We could go into this a bit more, such as describing words she sometimes mispronounces, and her overall speech. Saudi arabic is different from Bahraini arabic, e.g shino in bahraini arabic, and aish in saudi arabic, both mean 'what'; how Bahraini arabic accent is only spoken by 400,000 so it could make her seem out of place in everyday Arabic.

  Anything on your body that represents your country?: { TBA } Outfit(s): { TBA } Scar(s): { TBA } Accessories: Pearl Bracelet, { More TBA }

Relationships- Ancestor: Dilmun / Telmun Family: Kuwait, Qatar and Saudi Arabia Friends: India, Kazakhstan, Kosovo, Malaysia, Pakistan, South Korea, Turkey, Russia, U.K and Saudi Arabia Rivals: { TBA } Enemies: { TBA } Pet: { N / A ATM } Potential Love Interest: Kazakhstan { May chnage in future } Foreign Relationships: Embassies: Algeria, Bangladesh, Brunei, P.R China, Egypt, France, Germany, India, Indonesia, Iraq, Italy, Japan, Jordan, South Korea, Kuwait, Lebanon, Libya, Malaysia, Morocco, Nepal, Oma, Pakistan. Palestine, Philippines, Qatar, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Senegal, Sudan, Syria, Sri Lanka, Thailand, Tunisia, Turkey, UAE, U.K, U.S and Yemen. Non Resident Embassies: Argentina, Australia, Armenia, Canada, Chile, Colombia, North Korea, Fiji, Georgia, Kosovo, Ireland, Mexico, Paraguay, Peru, Poland, Singapore, Slovakia, Tanzania, Vietnam.

I understand this OC is a w.i.p, but perhaps when you have fixed her up, you could add relationship history; nothing too long if you want, really, but it'd be very good and interesting to read.

History: The site of the ancient Bronze Age civilization of Dilmun, Bahrain was an important center linking trade routes between Mesopotamia and the Indus Valley as early as 5,000 years ago. The Dilmun civilization began to decline about 2,000 B.C. as trade from India was cut off. From 750 B.C. on, Assyrian kings repeatedly claimed sovereignty over the islands. Shortly after 600 B.C., Dilmun was formally incorporated into the new Babylonian empire. There are no historical references to Bahrain until Alexander the Great’s arrival in the Gulf in the 4th century B.C. Although Bahrain was ruled variously by the Arab tribes of Bani Wa’el and Persian governors, Bahrain continued to be known by its Greek name Tylos until the 7th century, when many of its inhabitants converted to Islam. A regional pearling and trade center, Bahrain came under the control of the Ummayad Caliphs of Syria, the Abbasid Caliphs of Baghdad, Persian, Omani and Portuguese forces at various times from the 7th century until the Al Khalifa family, a branch of the Bani Utbah tribe that have ruled Bahrain since the 18th century, succeeded in capturing Bahrain from a Persian garrison controlling the islands in 1783.

In the 1830s the Al Khalifa signed the first of many treaties establishing Bahrain as a British Protectorate. Similar to the binding treaties of protection entered into by other Persian Gulf principalities, the agreements entered into by the Al Khalifa prohibited them from disposing of territory and entering into relationships with any foreign government without British consent in exchange for British protection against the threat of military attack from Ottoman Turkey. The main British naval base in the region was moved to Bahrain in 1935 shortly after the start of large-scale oil production. from all aggression by sea and to lend support in case of land attack.

In 1968, when the British Government announced its decision (reaffirmed in March 1971) to end the treaty relationships with the Persian Gulf sheikdoms, Bahrain initially joined the other eight states (Qatar and the seven Trucial Sheikhdoms now the United Arab Emirates) under British protection in an effort to form a union of Arab emirates. The nine sheikhdoms still had not agreed on terms of union by 1971, however, prompting. Bahrain to declare itself fully independent on August 15, 1971.

Bahrain promulgated a constitution and elected its first parliament in 1973, but just two years later, in August 1975, the Amir disbanded the National Assembly after it attempted to legislate the end of Al-Khalifa rule and the expulsion of the U.S. Navy from Bahrain. In the 1990s, Bahrain suffered from repeated incidents of political violence stemming from the disaffection of the Shi’a majority. In response, , the Amir instituted the first Bahraini cabinet change in 20 years in 1995 and also and increased the membership of the Consultative Council, which he had created in 1993 to provide advice and opinion on legislation proposed by the cabinet and, in certain cases, suggest new laws on its own, from 30 to 40 the following year. . These steps led to an initial decline in violent incidents, but in early 1996 a number of hotels and restaurants were bombed, resulting in several fatalities. Over 1,000 people were arrested and held in detention without trial in connection with these disturbances. The government has since released these individuals

Cool cool, again I understand the w.i.p so having a widget similar to other websites, ok? Just keep it in mind that you could change a few wordings when y'all done, and I think you got yourself a good OC!

{ She’s a still a work in progress, but i wanted to submit what i had so far for review }

-=+=- 

Honestly this is a really good OC. It may be a WIP but you're definitely on your way. Aside from the WIP, you could work on typing it up in your own words, and, work on the WIP parts as well. Overall, the work you put into this OC is really good.

[preciousmetals0]

Regifting the Santa Claus Rally; Nio and Tesla Shockers

Regifting the Santa Claus Rally; Nio and Tesla Shockers:

Wall Street’s White Elephant Party

Santa Claus has been good to the market this year.

Well … at least until today. We’re on day four of the so-called Santa Claus rally — the five-day rally at the end of every year — and investors are “regifting.” By all measures, today is Wall Street’s white elephant party.

What in the world are you talking about, Mr. Great Stuff?

I’m talking about profit-taking. The S&P 500 Index is up a hefty 29% in 2019, putting it less than half a percentage point shy of its best year since 1997.

Records are all fine and dandy, but they mean little if you can’t take some of those profits to the bank. So, why not take some profit off the table?

What’s more, these holiday trading days historically have very low participation. In other words, low volume.

Why does low volume matter?

With fewer market participants, small market moves become exaggerated — both to the upside and to the downside. It’s one of the key drivers behind the Santa Claus rally, after all.

The Takeaway: 

What we’re looking at today is a combination of profit-taking and portfolio repositioning. We’re closing out not only a year, but also a decade. Traders of all stripes are positioning themselves for the best possible returns and portfolio performance.

In short, don’t take today’s (or tomorrow’s) market activity too seriously. It’s not an indication of any broader market trend, nor does it give you any hints on where stocks will go in 2020.

What you want to do right now is what everyone else in the market is doing: Position your investments for next year.

Tomorrow, Great Stuff will give you what we believe are the four best stocks to own for 2020 (and beyond).

But for now, we’re going to steal a page out of the Bold Profits team’s playbook by identifying six mega trends that you should already be investing in:

The Internet of Things (IoT).

Blockchain.

Artificial intelligence (AI).

Precision medicine (aka biotechnology).

Millennials.

New energy technology.

These six mega trends are the way of the future … one where everything is digitally connected via the IoT, encrypted with blockchain and driven by AI.

These core technologies will push biotechnology to even greater heights and increase investment in new, more sustainable energy tech. And all of these opportunities ride on the investment dollars and the initiative of the biggest generation since the baby boomers: millennials.

Wall Street’s “white elephant party” today provides you with an excellent opportunity to load up on these mega trends.

Now, I know from your reader feedback that many Great Stuff readers are already on the fast track to investing in these six massive mega trends. Kudos to you!

However, if you’re not sure where to start learning about these trends, now’s your chance to get started with the excellent research that only Paul Mampilly and his Bold Profits team can provide.

Take your first steps into the coming decade’s six biggest mega trends with Paul Mampilly’s Profits Unlimited newsletter.

Click here to find out how to sign up now!

The Good: Shocking Results

Chinese electric vehicle (EV) maker Nio Inc. (NYSE: NIO) is surging today … providing another lesson in the realm of lowered expectations.

The EV maker and Tesla Inc. (Nasdaq: TSLA) rival reported a third-quarter loss of $352.8 million, or $2.38 per share. Despite the loss, revenue jumped 25% year over year to $1.84 billion, as EV deliveries spiked 35% to nearly 5,000 vehicles.

Nio blamed the losses on a soft second half of 2019 due to the removal of Chinese EV subsidies. At this point, that doesn’t matter much. The company only has a reported $274.3 million in cash on hand — well short of what Nio needs to continue operating through the year.

Nio addressed the issue with investors, stating that it’s working to obtain debt financing, but that these projects were “subject to certain uncertainties.”

Certain uncertainties? I’m pretty sure that’s the definition of an oxymoron right there … either that, or Nio is paraphrasing Rush: “He knows changes aren’t permanent, but change is.”

Regardless, Nio’s third-quarter earnings were nowhere near as bad as Wall Street expected. As a result, the stock is up a whopping 69% today.

Lose $352.8 million, rally 69%. How’s that for lowered expectations?

The Bad: Demand Saturation?

Speaking of Chinese EVs, the first Shanghai-built Tesla Model 3 just rolled off the assembly line — much earlier than expected.

Despite the herculean feat Tesla accomplished with its Chinese Gigafactory, Cowen Inc. (Nasdaq: COWN) analyst Jeffrey Osborne lowered his delivery estimates for Tesla this year.

Osborne now believes Tesla will only deliver 356,000 vehicles in 2019, below the company’s stated target of 360,000 to 400,000.

Alongside the lowered estimate, Osborne wrote this to clients:

Excluding the Netherlands and China, we expect Model 3 deliveries to be down 9% quarter over quarter and 7% year over year in the fourth quarter, which highlights the demand saturation we are seeing across most mature markets as we shift from pent-up demand to steady flow demand.

Wait … demand saturation? Isn’t high demand a good thing? What Osborne is essentially saying here is that there’s nothing new in the EV market to drive additional demand. Anyone who follows Tesla knows that this simply isn’t true. The company constantly updates new models and software features for existing models.

Honestly, it’s a weird statement from Cowen … especially since it raised its fourth-quarter delivery estimates in the same … exact … note to clients. If you’re bearish on Tesla, be bearish. There are plenty of reasons out there. But demand saturation isn’t one of them.

The Ugly: You Had 1 Job!

Up until December, you basically had two options for buying tickets to literally any event: Ticketmaster and Live Nation Entertainment Inc. (NYSE: LYV). However, the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ) approved the merger between these two earlier this month. And now there’s just one source for tickets.

Oh sure, the DOJ is asking federal courts to keep harsh competition conditions in place for longer than they had originally agreed to. The rules are designed to keep Live Nation and Ticketmaster from punishing venues that use other ticket vendors.

But — and this is the good part — the DOJ is asking for the extension of these harsher conditions because Ticketmaster broke them in the past.

So, clearly, the rules worked, and a Ticketmaster/Live Nation tie-up will be a wholesome and not-at-all-exploitative company from which to buy event tickets.

And if you believe that … I’ve got some oceanfront property in Arizona to sell you.

This week, Live Nation CEO Michael Rapino and President Joe Berchtold said that concert tickets were an “incredible bargain” and a “huge opportunity for our bottom line.” In other words, those $100+ tickets you bought this year were a steal!

Prices are going up, and Live Nation will reap the benefits … not your favorite artist, and certainly not your wallet.

DOJ, you had one job. One. Job. And you failed.

Wait … I’m not done yet with this whole Live Nation BS.

I see a fair amount of concerts per year — probably more than the average. With my kids getting old enough to enjoy concerts now, my costs are going up anyway. There are few joys in this world better than watching my kids enjoy a concert — especially since their music tastes line up with mine so well.

In the absence of the Live Nation monopoly (let’s be honest and call it what it is), ticket prices for top-100 tour tickets in the U.S. have risen 250% since 1996. The chart below shows how prices have risen 20% in just the past five years:

“The vast majority of shows are very reasonably priced for fans,” Berchtold told MarketWatch. Mr. Berchtold reportedly makes more than $4 million per year in salary and bonuses.

I don’t think his version of “reasonably priced” is the same as my version of “reasonably priced.”

Great Stuff: Happy New Year!

Are you ready for all the “New year, new me!” posts on social media?

I see these posts every year, and they always come from the same people. Some things never change, do they?

This isn’t always a bad thing, though. Take the January Barometer, for instance.

The January Barometer is a market indicator that basically says: “As January goes, so does the year.”

According to Banyan Hill expert Chad Shoop, editor of Automatic Profits Alert: “It’s the catchy saying to remember the January Barometer. Its insight is simple. The direction that January takes predicts how the S&P 500 Index will do throughout the rest of the year.”

As with all market indicators, it’s not 100% accurate. If there were such a thing, we’d all be out of work, right?

But the January Barometer is on the mark often enough that it’s endured the test of time. In fact, since 1938, the indicator has a 70% accuracy rating.

So, 70% of the time, it works every time.

But enough from me on the topic. Chad has an excellent, full-blown write-up on the January Barometer: “The January Barometer — A Broken Instrument or Valuable Tool?”

And, if you find yourself jonesing for more of Chad’s excellent market insight, why not sign up for Automatic Profits Alert today?

Click here to find out how!

Finally, don’t forget to check out Great Stuff on social media. If you can’t get enough meme-y market goodness, follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram!

Until next time, good trading!

Regards,

Joseph Hargett

Great Stuff Managing Editor, Banyan Hill Publishing

[goldira01]

Wall Street’s White Elephant Party

Santa Claus has been good to the market this year.

Well … at least until today. We’re on day four of the so-called Santa Claus rally — the five-day rally at the end of every year — and investors are “regifting.” By all measures, today is Wall Street’s white elephant party.

What in the world are you talking about, Mr. Great Stuff?

I’m talking about profit-taking. The S&P 500 Index is up a hefty 29% in 2019, putting it less than half a percentage point shy of its best year since 1997.

Records are all fine and dandy, but they mean little if you can’t take some of those profits to the bank. So, why not take some profit off the table?

What’s more, these holiday trading days historically have very low participation. In other words, low volume.

Why does low volume matter?

With fewer market participants, small market moves become exaggerated — both to the upside and to the downside. It’s one of the key drivers behind the Santa Claus rally, after all.

The Takeaway: 

What we’re looking at today is a combination of profit-taking and portfolio repositioning. We’re closing out not only a year, but also a decade. Traders of all stripes are positioning themselves for the best possible returns and portfolio performance.

In short, don’t take today’s (or tomorrow’s) market activity too seriously. It’s not an indication of any broader market trend, nor does it give you any hints on where stocks will go in 2020.

What you want to do right now is what everyone else in the market is doing: Position your investments for next year.

Tomorrow, Great Stuff will give you what we believe are the four best stocks to own for 2020 (and beyond).

But for now, we’re going to steal a page out of the Bold Profits team’s playbook by identifying six mega trends that you should already be investing in:

The Internet of Things (IoT).

Blockchain.

Artificial intelligence (AI).

Precision medicine (aka biotechnology).

Millennials.

New energy technology.

These six mega trends are the way of the future … one where everything is digitally connected via the IoT, encrypted with blockchain and driven by AI.

These core technologies will push biotechnology to even greater heights and increase investment in new, more sustainable energy tech. And all of these opportunities ride on the investment dollars and the initiative of the biggest generation since the baby boomers: millennials.

Wall Street’s “white elephant party” today provides you with an excellent opportunity to load up on these mega trends.

Now, I know from your reader feedback that many Great Stuff readers are already on the fast track to investing in these six massive mega trends. Kudos to you!

However, if you’re not sure where to start learning about these trends, now’s your chance to get started with the excellent research that only Paul Mampilly and his Bold Profits team can provide.

Take your first steps into the coming decade’s six biggest mega trends with Paul Mampilly’s Profits Unlimited newsletter.

Click here to find out how to sign up now!

The Good: Shocking Results

Chinese electric vehicle (EV) maker Nio Inc. (NYSE: NIO) is surging today … providing another lesson in the realm of lowered expectations.

The EV maker and Tesla Inc. (Nasdaq: TSLA) rival reported a third-quarter loss of $352.8 million, or $2.38 per share. Despite the loss, revenue jumped 25% year over year to $1.84 billion, as EV deliveries spiked 35% to nearly 5,000 vehicles.

Nio blamed the losses on a soft second half of 2019 due to the removal of Chinese EV subsidies. At this point, that doesn’t matter much. The company only has a reported $274.3 million in cash on hand — well short of what Nio needs to continue operating through the year.

Nio addressed the issue with investors, stating that it’s working to obtain debt financing, but that these projects were “subject to certain uncertainties.”

Certain uncertainties? I’m pretty sure that’s the definition of an oxymoron right there … either that, or Nio is paraphrasing Rush: “He knows changes aren’t permanent, but change is.”

Regardless, Nio’s third-quarter earnings were nowhere near as bad as Wall Street expected. As a result, the stock is up a whopping 69% today.

Lose $352.8 million, rally 69%. How’s that for lowered expectations?

The Bad: Demand Saturation?

Speaking of Chinese EVs, the first Shanghai-built Tesla Model 3 just rolled off the assembly line — much earlier than expected.

Despite the herculean feat Tesla accomplished with its Chinese Gigafactory, Cowen Inc. (Nasdaq: COWN) analyst Jeffrey Osborne lowered his delivery estimates for Tesla this year.

Osborne now believes Tesla will only deliver 356,000 vehicles in 2019, below the company’s stated target of 360,000 to 400,000.

Alongside the lowered estimate, Osborne wrote this to clients:

Excluding the Netherlands and China, we expect Model 3 deliveries to be down 9% quarter over quarter and 7% year over year in the fourth quarter, which highlights the demand saturation we are seeing across most mature markets as we shift from pent-up demand to steady flow demand.

Wait … demand saturation? Isn’t high demand a good thing? What Osborne is essentially saying here is that there’s nothing new in the EV market to drive additional demand. Anyone who follows Tesla knows that this simply isn’t true. The company constantly updates new models and software features for existing models.

Honestly, it’s a weird statement from Cowen … especially since it raised its fourth-quarter delivery estimates in the same … exact … note to clients. If you’re bearish on Tesla, be bearish. There are plenty of reasons out there. But demand saturation isn’t one of them.

The Ugly: You Had 1 Job!

Up until December, you basically had two options for buying tickets to literally any event: Ticketmaster and Live Nation Entertainment Inc. (NYSE: LYV). However, the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ) approved the merger between these two earlier this month. And now there’s just one source for tickets.

Oh sure, the DOJ is asking federal courts to keep harsh competition conditions in place for longer than they had originally agreed to. The rules are designed to keep Live Nation and Ticketmaster from punishing venues that use other ticket vendors.

But — and this is the good part — the DOJ is asking for the extension of these harsher conditions because Ticketmaster broke them in the past.

So, clearly, the rules worked, and a Ticketmaster/Live Nation tie-up will be a wholesome and not-at-all-exploitative company from which to buy event tickets.

And if you believe that … I’ve got some oceanfront property in Arizona to sell you.

This week, Live Nation CEO Michael Rapino and President Joe Berchtold said that concert tickets were an “incredible bargain” and a “huge opportunity for our bottom line.” In other words, those $100+ tickets you bought this year were a steal!

Prices are going up, and Live Nation will reap the benefits … not your favorite artist, and certainly not your wallet.

DOJ, you had one job. One. Job. And you failed.

Wait … I’m not done yet with this whole Live Nation BS.

I see a fair amount of concerts per year — probably more than the average. With my kids getting old enough to enjoy concerts now, my costs are going up anyway. There are few joys in this world better than watching my kids enjoy a concert — especially since their music tastes line up with mine so well.

In the absence of the Live Nation monopoly (let’s be honest and call it what it is), ticket prices for top-100 tour tickets in the U.S. have risen 250% since 1996. The chart below shows how prices have risen 20% in just the past five years:

“The vast majority of shows are very reasonably priced for fans,” Berchtold told MarketWatch. Mr. Berchtold reportedly makes more than $4 million per year in salary and bonuses.

I don’t think his version of “reasonably priced” is the same as my version of “reasonably priced.”

Great Stuff: Happy New Year!

Are you ready for all the “New year, new me!” posts on social media?

I see these posts every year, and they always come from the same people. Some things never change, do they?

This isn’t always a bad thing, though. Take the January Barometer, for instance.

The January Barometer is a market indicator that basically says: “As January goes, so does the year.”

According to Banyan Hill expert Chad Shoop, editor of Automatic Profits Alert: “It’s the catchy saying to remember the January Barometer. Its insight is simple. The direction that January takes predicts how the S&P 500 Index will do throughout the rest of the year.”

As with all market indicators, it’s not 100% accurate. If there were such a thing, we’d all be out of work, right?

But the January Barometer is on the mark often enough that it’s endured the test of time. In fact, since 1938, the indicator has a 70% accuracy rating.

So, 70% of the time, it works every time.

But enough from me on the topic. Chad has an excellent, full-blown write-up on the January Barometer: “The January Barometer — A Broken Instrument or Valuable Tool?”

And, if you find yourself jonesing for more of Chad’s excellent market insight, why not sign up for Automatic Profits Alert today?

Click here to find out how!

Finally, don’t forget to check out Great Stuff on social media. If you can’t get enough meme-y market goodness, follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram!

Until next time, good trading!

Regards,

Joseph Hargett

Great Stuff Managing Editor, Banyan Hill Publishing