#I couldn’t sleep at all lmao
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… It’s today
The Wizard will see you now !! 💚
Based on this shot !!
I haven't been able to stop thinking about this mini trailer, it's my favourite musical, one of my all-time favourite characters, and it all looks so fantastical ;w; Thank you Jon Chu !!
#spent the entire morning at work dissociating#miles away#probably in Oz#it’s almost here#I can’t begin to express how this makes me feel#terrified-happy ?#whatever it is I’m just#gosh please#please be good please be good#I couldn’t sleep at all lmao#ridiculous how I’m mourning the Wicked in advance#iykyk ig !!#bonnie vents#???
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Why is the pms pmsing so bad today
#Went to get melatonin and pain killers today and was sad that it was around $20 as if I didn’t expect that#I feel like I will cry if someone talks to me#I am so tired also I couldn’t sleep last night#I am hungry but all food sounds disgusting#anyways idk if it’s because I don’t actively have something going on rn with school and work so it’s hitting harder but like. lmao skdkdkdjf
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Still laugh about when my dad brother and I went to Italy together and on the first day, after a flight that arrived at nine am italy-time and 2 am our time, my dad was watching the two of us stumble around Venice half conscious and incapable of mustering even an ounce of enthusiasm for anything because neither of us managed even a minute of sleep on the flights over, and what he took from this was ‘oh my god, my kids don’t even like Italy.’
#he was about to never take us anywhere again lmao#but seriously… it was so bad. my allergies kicked in horribly at the very end of the flight when i took my mask off to eat (i’m convinced#someone sprayed something i was allergic to because this was can’t-stop-sneezing-eyes-watering-so-much-you’re-basically-crying bad)#and between that and the zero sleep we got to saint marks square and i literally couldn’t look at anything because the sky was too bright.#like i’d try to look up at the buildings and i literally couldn’t see anything. and then i spent the entire walk back to our hotel on the#verge of passing out every few steps because i was That tired. and my dad just saw all this and went#‘damn my kids don’t know how to have fun at ALL.’
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Ok game plan Imma fuckin. Like. Ride it out for a minute like go bathroom or smth then try to eat and maybe just chill for a bit and then maybe if my body is cool and nice it’ll let me take a sexy lil nap and no one will even know I’m fucked up
#random post#ive only had all nighters like 2 other times#first was when I was in a hotel for my softball teammates birthday at like 8 years old or smth#and was just. awake all night in the dark by myself and eating a muffin when light started shining through the window#as far as I remember I was fine that time cus like. kids be like that I guess#tw emetophobia#and then this last all nighter was like either last year or the year before that and I was kept awake by the evil nausea and vomiting rip it#was not a fun night like I was awake for almost 2 days or smth couldn’t sleep couldn’t eat#just stuck on the couch in the dark hoping youtube would save me or get me to keep down the not ripe banana#anyways I think this time was more like the first one. like I don’t fell sick rn just hungry and like weirdly kinda hype or smth. cus I get#on one when I’m tired my family likes to say. hope a muffin and a drink will kinda. reset me I guess cus yesterday was NOT it lmao
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good morning I am awake!! but not feeling my best
#owen.txt#I hit post limit which is why I stopped rbing/posting#tbh though I got very v flustered seeing (x)‘s post (like red face nd everything)#so it’s probably a good thing I couldn’t post anything fkdjdjdh#but yeah I was stuck thinking abt that for most of the night before I fell sleep#mvsterbation be damned (bc im still too awkward to actually type it uncensored)#edit* also I love how this post started abt me feeling really sad and then derailed lmao#I just need to be snuggled up on someone’s lap nd maybe having my hair stroked that’s all :(((
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it sure has been quite a week
#g o d this week was such a mess™️#i kicked off the week wrong (as always) with ~3h of sleep bc i can never fall asleep on monday nights (sadge)#and ofc i had to do 2 workstations’ worth of work bc lack of manpower lmao#then on tuesday i had yet another family dinner to say goodbye to my bro (lol)#even though he’d already been treated to at least 3 other meals by that point (lmao)#i still think my dinner treat from a few weeks back was the best though~~~~~~ a 4 course sky dining meal def tops any restaurant right~~~~~?#and on suiyoubi (my dudes) we boated him off to military training island for his mandatory enlistment. that sure was. an experience.#i still kinda regret finishing my meal at the military cafeteria place thing though… i was the only one at the table who finished it :(#even my big eater of a bro couldn’t finish his :(#and my mother has been making fun of me for finishing the (allegedly) huge portioned meal ever since :(#she keeps joking about enlisting me bc army food ✨clearly✨ suits my tastes :( truly sadded.#anyways it was back to work on thursday. which sucked. ofc. also bc i’d overslept by half an hour and had to rush. lmao.#anddddd on friday. my boss told me that i’d missed out on submitting one worksheet thing of results#even though i c l e a r l y remember doing the test it was for (and organising all of the worksheet things for the matter)#so my coworker and i just watched her sift through the stack of worksheets… only for her to actually find the ‘missing’ piece of paper#she then said ‘ok found it sorry’ so my coworker and i just went ‘(ʘ‿ʘ) okayyyyyyyyyy’ p. sarcastically and left her office#and ofccccc there was work on saturday too. yay. went to the pkm centre after that thoughhhh#which was fun yes. but. they didn’t have ✨c h a i r d e o x y s✨ on sale :(((((#they stopped selling goomy earrings and that huge plush too :( and the smaller goomy plushies for the matter :((((#i realllyyy should’ve bought the goomy earrings while they were still available… even though they were like 8 bucks per stud#my goomy plushie collection remains unexpanded :( my jigglypuff collection grew by 1 though~~~~#so now i have 3 official jigglies of varying sizes and 1 bootleg jiggly that looks. pretty horrifying in bad lighting actually#p. sadded by how my family calls my taste in pkm boring though… ‘it’s either jigglypuff or that purple thing’ they say… :((((#aaaaaa i wish i could’ve bought that super cute plush of goodra holding a happily smiling goomy i saw on my trip…#it’s too bad that the plushies (there were like 2-3 of them) were locked inside a display cabinet :(((( it was so cuteeeeeeeee#though my fam would’ve made me put it back if i’d even managed to get it out back then lol. ‘that purple thing again?!’ they’d prolly say…#anyways. this sure was a week. im so tired. help#no clue how i should spend the rest of my night tbh… maybe beach sisters time? hmmmmmm. oh wells.#‘dai’ly shitpost of the day
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i’m not even kidding everytime i experience any sort of joy whatsoever something bad happens it’s like in friends when phoebe was killing people everytime she went to the dentist but for real
#speaking of dentists. lmao.#first of all i have a broken wisdom tooth that i’ve been putting off removing for 2 years now but i have all of them#tonight i was actually in an ok mood like it’s early i was gonna go to bed early and just relax#but i was like hm maybe i want to trying doing something new with my hair so i was fucking around with that and listening to music#and just being fine! like contentness which is v rare. anyway i was like ok i’m gonna start taking better care of my teeth#so back to wisdom teeth the one on my bottom right didn’t fully come out so it gets like plaque on it so i got a small child toothbrush#to really get in there and brush it yeah tmi i guess but in front of that wisdom tooth i have a temprorary filling#from 1 year ago bc this one dumbass dentist i went to well actually i went there as a kid but she’s terrible but i needed a filling fast so#i went there last year. anyway she put a temp in and said ok come back in 6 months and i didn’t because i wasnt gonna go to her anymore#and i couldn’t go to my good dentist bc he told me to remove my wisdoms and i didn’t lmao. anyway long story short i was brushing that#wisdom bitch really good and a chunk of my temp filling tooth broke off. not the filling of course but my real tooth and i’m like ok.#so god isnt real for real then. like. the reason i put all this fucking shit off is bc i don’t have money and now i fucking have to go fix#it so i’m 100% fucked i’ll never move out from my abusive gr*ndmothers house and i’m just completely fucked i’m so upset.#anyway hope i die in my sleep tonight#*temporary. if i die tonight i don’t want u guys thinking i can’t spell temporary i’m just fucking upset#it’s literally gonna be thousands isnt it like. i don’t even fucking know if they CAN fix it and who has thousands of dollars not fucking me#idk i have literally no idea what i’m supposed to do now
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all animals look silly and pathetic when wet but cats are at the top of the scale
#once one of my childhood cats (saffron) fell completely into a sink full of water#luckily it wasn’t hot or full of soapy chemicals or anything just water#but he looked so small and sad when he was all wet fjfnfkf#and saffron was. A Big Cat. he was very long and large. probably a lil overweight when i think about it now#but when he was all wet he looked like. so tiny and pathetic. fat bastard (sad edition)#dove talks#i miss saffron…….. big orange fool……..#one of my mom’s friends took him and another cat from us when we couldn’t have 3 cats anymore#(my sister’s asthma was way too bad + my mom was pregnant)#i hope those two are still together they were very gay and attached to eachother.#saffron was mischief’s (my family’s cat) littermate and we adopted them the same day. siblings :)#also apparently one of my FIRST cats is still alive as of a few months ago!!!! scratchy my beloved…….#she’s like. 15+ by now? old…………#she was our first family pet that i got to have a say in#she’s a pretty grey tabby with green eyes and she was very silly. she HATED blinds with a passion#we also had one of her littermates#his name was max and he liked to chew on people’s hair. we do not know why he did this.#he was super attached to my mom and didn’t like my dad lmao#which is the opposite of mischief who thinks my dad is Her Husband#anyway that’s it for cat posts. time to sleep#snzzzzzz
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Horribly easily to tell if my dads drunk
#vent! annoying vent!#like. the fact that everyone’s mood is ruined being a massive flag aside#he has so many tells he thinks he’s slick lmao#voice slurs and sticks at certain points#nasally. very nasally#he talks over you and starts sentences multiple times#repeats a lot of points#it sounds like he’s constantly on the verge of a cough#and he’s just a bitch in general#the very regular tells of a drunk person but I think it’s easier for me to notice now#idk I used to think he was just tired and snappish as a kid then I discovered the concept of alcohol and ojhhh. so that’s what does that#to be fair he used to take me to alcohol warehouses. when I was not even in middle school. I shit you not#I think? I dunno starting from the point where I realized that my brother indulged in a wee bit of cocsa my memory kicks the bucket a#little bit everyday#whatever idc. I say. whatever#yea I think there were alchohol warehouses? I don’t. I can’t find any when I google them now#they don’t look like what I remember so it could just be me trying to fill in the gaps with what I have#but I know he used to take me and my sister there to get Jack Daniel’s or whatever it was#I still think about that one really bad fight we had when he was drunk#I asked him if he loves me at all etc if he cares about me beyond my grades#and he just gave me one deadpanned long look and said no#like. ok okay ig? thanks for the answer king i loved that#another fight we had. well. no it wasn’t us fighting he fought with mom#their fights r the reason im more active at night and hate sleeping tbh#anyways I ended up locking myself in the bathroom and screaming myself hoarse because I couldn’t just fathom why he seems to just. hate her#which he doesn’t. I don’t think he does. they love eachother they really do but it’s like miserable at times#esp when he’s drunk#like I had my mom asking if me and my sister would be happier if we moved away from him#I don’t remember what I told her I was honestly more worried about if she’d be happy and if she could support us#ope. tag limit. Penis penis balls cock
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Milestone achieved: fell asleep at my desk
#i havent done that since i was a very very young kid but i just did! twice#to be fair i havent slept at all last night and have been struggling because I'm getting tests done at the hospital that dont allow me to#take some of my usual medications#but yeah i was doing pretty okay with staying awake and suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks and next thing i know chin is against my#chest and my neck is so bent even shrimp would be jealous#i didn't sleep very long either time (it was twice in a row) but i'm honestly amazed I COULD#like I was sitting in my chair with one leg bent underneath me and the other resting sideways on a footstool with both damn hands on mouse#and keyboard and i was just out#so i'm about to climb into bed and cuddle my cat for .2 seconds before i pass out and hopefully tonight i CAN sleep#at least it's a lot less cool tonight than it was last night which was part of why i couldn’t sleep#anyway can definitely tell by experiences that I'm getting older lmao i never slept in my life anywhere that wasn't a bed or mattress except#a couch a very small number of times and then sometimes in cars#falling asleep like this?? truly unheard of#my post
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Heyyy. Can I request a college au. Reader is an average, socially awkward person but somehow managed to pulled the campus heartthrob, Geto (or gojo). And he's lowkey obsessed with her and try to be fucking her every chance he gets.
𝐚. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: why not both? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk, felt like doing a threesome for some reason lmao
⊹ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: Geto + Gojo x fem! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - modern au! college setting - sex in public places; gymnasium locker room + dining hall + college dorms - oral (m! + f! receiving) - face + throat-fucking - fingering (f! receiving) - clitoral play (swiping, grinding and licking/sucking) - face-sitting - threesome - double penetration; anal and vaginal - cowgirl dp position - anal fingering (f! receiving) - kissing/making out - protected sex (psa: warp it up or get tf up) - overstimulation - pet names (angel, baby, cutie, my love, pretty girl, princess, sweetie, sweetheart) - sato + sugu being whipped over you, hehe~ - slight humor - mention of tears and drool.
⊹ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5.1k (pretty long for a req, lol)
“Oh, Y/n, it’s good to see you. Did you have a good weekend? Let’s walk each other to class; I was waiting for you.”
“Y/nnnn! This cold day is so much warmer now that you’re here. Let’s grab something to eat at the dining hall, okay?”
You thought college life couldn’t get any more difficult than it already is. Oh, how you were so wrong…
Being on your own on campus was hard enough; states away from your family and having to rely on and take care of yourself while also striving for a better education. On top of this, making friends (outside of your roommates Shoko and Utahime) is such a social and excruciating chore as it’s challenging to put yourself out for people to notice you. Making small talk with your peers or talking/discussing group material in classes has your heart racing enough – not to mention trying to commit to clubs – making you feel a bit of a failure as a human being.
With that, you almost dwell on not trying at all. You’re utterly content with your inner circle with your roommates, waking up and heading to classes and back, eating college food, and sleeping after reading for a lecture. This routine of sticking to yourself was a notion you’ve grown to accept and find comfort in — no need to change it if it’s been doing you well this far.
That is until you meet them — Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru, the best friends of your roommate Shoko.
Gojo is the star player of the school’s basketball team, a famous face among the class years, and the “disgustingly tactless, cutesy prince” of your year, as described by Utahime. By morning, he’s a dedicated student in his business administration major and history minor classes; by afternoon, he is his playful, social, and charismatic snow-haired soul, grabbing the attention of others and bringing life to those around him with his bright cadence. In addition, he’s a talented figure, capturing the hearts of many with his model work in fashion shows and playing fan-favorite roles in plays.
In contrast, Geto was a much more mellow star that pulled the hearts of students and professors alike. The raven-haired bioengineering major was a boy whose presence was easy not to notice yet quick to pull you in when making himself known. His tall, docile figure emitted an aura that accompanied the soothing tune of his voice, the perfect combination that made him trustworthy and obliging to the students around him and his lacrosse teammates. With the charming features of a heartthrob and the alluring speech of a leader, he’s someone many would turn to in search of a person to follow and praise.
Satoru and Suguru, two complete opposites – two best friends – who are, without a doubt, the twin stars of this school. However, there was one thing the two shared in common, something that made your heart skip and your mind race every time knowing this fact: the two were unmistakably and sickeningly in love with you!
How? You do not know. It all started when Shoko brought them over one night for dinner, and you saw them for a quick moment in the kitchen, quickly greeting them before rushing back into your room. Next thing you knew, you had begun to see and run into them every so often, which soon turned to at least once per day. And now, like a white bubbly puppy and a black, quietly affectionate cat, you could not shake them off you when and wherever you went.
Oh, it was something you were not used to, being sneaked up from behind by Gojo, who’d pull you in for a hug or lift you with every greeting in public (as if you weighed like nothing)! Especially in classes where Geto would surprise you with his calm voice and a warm hand on your shoulder to check if you were okay before claiming the chair next to you. And you couldn’t push them away — how could you when two of the most renowned faces on school grounds want to be around your presence!? Good Lord, it was all overwhelming, Shoko and Utahime having to step in to beat the boys into shape for making you uncomfortable.
And then there are those times when the two would butt heads with each other because of you! There have been a handful of times where if one had you to themselves, the other would bore glares to the former’s skull. Gojo would suck his teeth with his arm wrapped around your shoulder, white brows furrowed and ticked off blue eyes concealed by his dark circle shades. “Yo, Buddha with bangs, can you let go? Y/n promised to hang with me after their classes ended, and I’d be damned if you’d be third-wheeling.”
“That’s not happening, Satoru,” Geto’s hand grasps yours with more grip, royal purple eyes narrowed at his white-haired friend. “Y/n and I have a presentation to work on for tomorrow. Go lollygag somewhere else.”
Two positive bundles of life will immediately turn hostile when it comes to you, suffocating your very being as you’re stuck in the middle of them. It’s bad enough being with either of them has people notice and talk about you; it’s another thing when you’re being fought over like some small bunny between two snarling wolves. Oh God, why me!!??
But it wasn’t all bad. If anything, being fawned over by the two was a strange thing that has happened to you thus far, and not in a terrible way. Gojo has made you a lot more open and social than before, dragging you to parties he’s been invited to and to his crowded games (where he’s always sure to find you and blow a kiss). And spending time with Geto has sparked instances where you’re courageous enough to speak for yourself with a bit of a push from him, throwing in your inputs for class discussions or having him aid you in knowing your material when you two study together.
The two most popular guys in school who flatter and are obsequious over you. That in itself is enough to make your cheeks and ears dial in warmth, shielding your face in your pillows just thinking about them. You like them both, bound to be drawn in by the handsome boys and their pursuit of you.
However, their infatuation was something you’d find out goes beyond words and handholds. An obsession for you embroidered in their very minds…and bodies.
“…Mhahhh, Go—Mmmph! Gojooo…we shouldn’t be doing this…”
“Aww, c’mon, Y/n, you know I don’t like it when you call me by last name. It’s just the two of us here…Fuck, keep licking it like that…”
Sneaking into the basketball team’s locker room is one thing; sneaking in with the star player in the team with you between his legs on the bench and sucking his dick? Oh, that’s a can of worms you never thought you’d open in your entire life.
Gojo brings his head back, banging on the locker behind him as the contact of your tongue on his pink tip sends shivers up to his shoulders. “Fuuuck, you feel so good, baby. Gonna make me cum again…” You peer up with lidded eyes as you suck his tip into your mouth, him humming at the warm sensation of your mouth swallowing his length whole. Your face is hot of embarrassment, being looked down on by him as you do such an indecent thing on him in a place of changing for men.
This was his idea – bringing you to the gymnasium to watch him practice with his teammates for an upcoming game. Then, he pulls you aside once the guys want another fifteen-minute water break, bargaining into the men’s locker room and pulling you in for a hot kiss. Sucking on and nibbling on your lips and tongue has you mewl sweetly for him, distracted as he pulls his shorts and briefs down to expose the erection growing inside him. “Sorry, you just looked too cute watching me from the side,” he’d say with a hazy glint in his eyes shielded by his shades.
So here you are, sucking him off to the hilt, where your lips meet strands of his white pubes, making your boyfriend cum for the second time. Gojo brings a hand to your head for purchase, moaning as your hand massages his balls. “—Ahh, fuck…God, you’ve gotten so good at that, cutie. Can’t get enough of you...”
His words burn your ears, his aroused tone making your face even more hot to bear. Gosh, this was such a dangerous game; your nerves constantly on edge in hopes nobody would walk in.
However, your worries might have been what jinxed your fate because you two heard the door to the locker room open. You instantly move your mouth away from Gojo’s cock and stand to panic. But before you could, Gojo quickly grabbed you by the wrist and took you to one of the bathroom stalls. You sat on the toilet, bewildered at being dragged all over this fitness center. Then, Gojo brings his dick to your face again, and you give him the most shockingly confused expression as if he can’t hear the commotion of two people speaking where they used to be.
“Relax, no one’s coming here,” Liar, we almost got caught! He pushes the tip to your mouth, and you murmur on his length, filling your mouth and throat. “Let’s make this one quick, okay?”
You were too busy registering him place his hands on your head before he could slam himself to your mouth; the sudden thrust of his hips propelling his cock deep into the tight crevices of your throat makes you grip onto his shorts for dear life. The slap of his ruts fills your eardrums; you can’t tell how far or close the two guys who entered the locker room are. He’s making you focus on nothing but him — a selfish objection from a selfish man as he’s using you to relieve himself in the men’s locker room. God, this was such a bad situation, and yet your lower half couldn’t stop the throbs that have you shifting your thighs together. How embarrassing!
“Hhnnn, fucking shit, your throat feels so good,” he praises, his slender fingers massaging your scalp. Your tongue brushes the underside of his length in a way that has his pace go faster, and he has to keep his moans to a lower volume. “Shiiit, baby, I’m gonna cum…Take it all in…!”
You have no choice but to, forced to gulp down all of his load that he spills into your tight, warm throat. He still rocks his pelvis into you until every pump of his jizz is inside you. When your ears pick up the sound of the locker room door opening and closing with the dismissal of the two strangers, that’s when Gojo takes his long shaft out of your mouth, spit connecting from your tongue to his cockhead is wiped with haste.
But then, Gojo pokes your cheek with his tip, a sign that he wants to go again. You throw quiet pleas, “N–No, Gojo! You have to get back to practice—“
“Shhh, those guys can survive a few games without me. And besides,” he gently slaps your cheek with his cock. How vulgar! “I’ll fuck your mouth til the end of the day if you don’t stop using my last name when it’s just the two of us here.” The playful grin on his lips doesn’t make that threat any better. “One more time, please?”
With hesitant eyes, you place kisses on his shaft while stroking him. “Only one more…okay, Satoru?”
He beams with the dimples of his cheeks. “Yes, pretty girl~.”
And it doesn’t stop there — because Geto is no better.
“Aww, you two are so cute together~”
You squirm on the booth seat you’re sharing with your other boyfriend, you two sitting across from his friends — a senior couple he shares a lab with that invited him for dinner. Unsurprisingly, you were his plus one, knowing you’re not one for being around people you’re not familiar with. And yet here you are, caged by the wall and Geto’s frame to keep you in this conversation on the side of the busy dining hall.
Geto chuckles before brushing your cheek, "Aren’t we? But they’re the cutest thing to me.” He says as he places a swift kiss on your cheek; it’s an action that has your face grow in warmth — and the couple “awwing” at his affection.
The guy of the couple speaks to the dark, long-haired other. “I never knew you were one for relationships, Geto; you seem so busy with Bio and your clubs that you don’t seem to have time to lay low and be with someone.”
“Mmm, I thought so, too. That is until I met Y/n through a friend of mine,” you jerk at the silent touch of his pinkie grazing your thigh, noting it had sneaked under your skirt to graze its skin. Your eyes peek in his direction, finding that he remains eye contact with the guy he’s talking with. “And, you know, I got to know them here and there, shared some classes with them on the side. Now, I just can’t imagine them being out of my line of sight.”
The guy across laughs. “Sounds kinda obsessive!”
Geto shrugs with a chortle. “I guess it’s like that, I don’t know. I’m just really crazy about them; they’re my sweetheart after all.”
“That’s so sweet!” The girl senior across exclaims, turning to you to ask, “So, how long have you and Geto been a thing, Y/n?”
The question has you stumped for a bit as you weren’t ready to be thrown inquiries. And before you answer, you feel Geto’s hand rub on your thigh. “U-Umm, me—ahem—Geto and I have been a couple for quite a while now? My roommate was the one who introduced me to him—Mmmm!” You briskly flatten your lips at your squeak because the fingers inside your skirt pinch your skin. On command, you spread your legs for Geto to insert his hand inside your panties.
The girl asks more questions. “Oh? So, your roommate brought you two together. Did you know of them before?”
“Well, not really…She and Geto—Ohh!” You bring your hand to your lips at the graze of Geto’s forefinger on your clit. You turn to him and are immediately locked into his violet gaze. He lifts a brow with an undisturbed smile, and you gulp. “I–I mean, Suguru and my roommate have been best friends since high school, so I kinda got…Nnmm,” you chew your lips when he bullies a digit between your folds to play and tease. “She was the one who introduced me to him…”
“Is that so? Hehe, it’s amazing how the world works, huh?” You listen, but your mind is too focused on Geto’s digits swiping and nestling across your wetness to have your body more excited about his touch. And it gets worse as he inserts his forefinger inside your vagina, causing you to jolt and suppress your mewl by leaning into his shoulder, gripping onto the sleeve of his turtleneck. “Here are two lovebirds all lovey-dovey with each other thanks to one friend bringing them together. It’s crazy imagining you two would’ve never met hadn’t that happened.”
Geto hums at that comment, “I agree; I have to thank Shoko for bringing this little angel to my arms.” He places a soft kiss on your forehead, completely nonchalant compared to the quickened pace of the digit scraping your insides. “Isn’t that right, my love?”
With trenched brows and a shaky breath, you try to reply to the awaiting couple. “Mhmm, yes, I’m so grateful that Suguru is in my life…He’s been such a help to me,” his forefinger goes slow, having you feel every dent and knuckle. “Hahhh, he’s so good to me, and I love him just as mu—Mmmph!!”
“Hmm? Are you okay, Y/n?” How can you tell the guy across from you that your boyfriend’s thumb just surprised your clit with a swipe? You’d rather melt on this floor had you not buried your face into Geto’s shoulder.
Speaking of who, he takes the initiative to answer for you. “I think they’re a little parched, must’ve been this lemonade I got for them. I’ll go get them some water—“
“Oh, no, no! I’ll go get the water; I was gonna get more of those garlic knots anyways.” The girl stops Geto from moving, sliding from the booth seat with her boyfriend’s hand to follow suit. “C’mon, let’s leave these lovebirds for a bit. We’ll be right back!”
And so they leave, thanking your lucky stars. Once their figures are nowhere to be seen within the sea of students, you probe the man with a trembling whimper. “Mmmph, Suguru, please, take it out before—Ahhh…! They come back…”
Luckily, he listens to your request with no argument, withdrawing his digit from your wet slick and underwear. And to your horror, he brings the finger to lick and suck and says with a dark look, “Just checking to see what I’ll be having later.”
It doesn’t matter wherever or whenever; Gojo and Geto will be sure that their love for you is expressed to you every chance they get.
It doesn’t matter the day or hour, whether you are free from assignments, spending time with your roommates, or on your way out to study; those two will find a way to get to be with you. And, to be honest, it can be a bit overstimulating!
When there are dates to the movies with Gojo, there’s private alone time with Geto on his bed as he eats you out. And when there are days when Geto holds hands with you and walks you to your classes, there are nights when Gojo will fuck you til his cock is warmed inside you in his slumber. It can go either way, the two competing for your affection and time when the other is out of sight.
Again, sometimes it’s overwhelming for you, never knowing which of the two will have you all to themselves, nor knowing when you can have time to yourself! And it’s not like you haven’t tried putting your foot down to express your wish to be alone. But, albeit it can be utterly exhausting, you know those two love and cherish you so much that it drives them crazy. Hell, it’s driving you crazy just how much they can’t keep their hands off you!
Especially now when they drag you to their shared dorm room, experiencing one of those days when the two wish to have you in the same presence.
“Hahhh, damn, Y/n…you’re sucking me off so good,” Geto purrs with a whistle while lovingly patting your head. “So good for me, huh, sweetie?”
The two stripped you off your clothes to be nude with them on the bed. Your naked frame straddles above Gojo, lying on his back with his face buried into your bare cunt for his mouth and tongue to please you orally. Meanwhile, you suck on Geto’s girth as he leans on the pillows and headboard. It’s his turn after sucking off Gojo (they settled this over rock-paper-scissors) and fingering you to warm you up first.
You whine of his member, Gojo’s tongue doing wonders on your delicate body. He licks on your clit just as you lap yours around Geto’s glans, and then he’ll suck your pearl right as you take in the tip with pursed cheeks. It’s such a mutual shared experience, with how Gojo’s hands wrap to your thighs to keep your chasm on his lips while you have Geto keen to your mouth and hands stroking him.
“—Khhhh, Jesus Christ…Hohhh, right there, sweetie…” The raven-haired one coos as you kiss your way down to his balls to suck one as you continue to jerk him. “Heh, you doing good down there, Satoru?”
The snow-haired other removes his mouth from your folds, licking your essence that sticks to his lips like honey mixed with his saliva. “Hahaa, you have no idea. I could stay like this for hours,” his tongue licks your come to your clit tantalizingly slow, evoking you to almost choke on Geto’s girth. “Aww, look at you trying to move from me,” Gojo brings your hips back down to him for him to swirl around your labia, his grip on your thighs refusing to submit. “Don’t go anywhere, princess; I’m not finished until you cum on my face again.”
“Ohhh, shit, keep doing what you’re doing, Satoru,” Geto subtly bucks his hips, “I love the way they’re whining on my dick…”
With your puffy lips being busy in the front and your cunt being lapped and nibbled on from below, your senses are clouded by the two boys who seek nothing but your participation in experiencing pleasure. Your head gradually turns into mush with every rut to your throat and every lap around your clitoris. It’s to no surprise that your release seeps out of your body without preparation, crying on Geto’s length as your frame quivers in euphoric bliss.
And if you think you couldn’t get swamped enough, think again.
“—Nnngh, fuck, Y/n, you’re gripping on my dick like crazy…Hehe, is it because you can’t look me in the face? Damn, you’re such a cutie…”
Your face is nuzzled in the crook of Gojo’s neck as you’re straddling on top of him, your nude, sweaty bodies melted together to share heat. Your hips bounce up and down on his pelvis, where his rubber-covered length is scraping the walls of your vagina. His left curve grazes and jabs your sweet spots, and your body lies on top of Gojo, which brings more friction to your clitoris.
“Hahhh, ahhnn—Ohhhh!” Your phrases have doubled down to that of whimpers of pleasure, thinking straight is impossible, and your mind is too deep in a haze to focus on anything outside of what’s happening. And it’s not like you can’t stop your hips from bouncing on his shaft — you’ve tried! But the moment your legs express so much as reluctance or fatigue, Gojo’s hands are right there on your ass to guide you back into the rhythm. So it’s expected when you climax on him once more, clamping onto him as you ride out another orgasmic wave. “Ahhaaa! Sa’toruuu, stooohhp—hic…! I’m ‘oo sens' tiveee!!”
“You say that, but—hnnn! You’re rocking those hips of yours on your own, baby.” He chuckles at your slurred speech, placing kisses on your cheek as his hands massage your asscheeks. “Holy shit, you feel so unreal; wanna fuck you raw so bad with how tight you are.”
“Don’t even think about it, Satoru,” you hear Geto’s voice from behind, the dent of the twin-size bed shifting with his added weight. “If I can’t go condom-less, you’re not getting any special treatment out of it either.”
“Psssh, yeah, yeah,” Gojo says with rolled azure eyes before he whispers to your ear. “Come on, angel, let’s get you prepped up.” The white-haired boy’s hands spread your butt, exposing his dick buried deep into your tight slit and your taint.
Geto grins salaciously. “My, what a dirty sight for me, my love.” You chew your lips to his words, the heat in your ears causing them to ring. You then feel his fingers smothered in lube to meet your asshole, spiraling around it before inserting them one by one. Your holes instinctively contract, making Gojo hiss. “Relax, pretty girl,” he kisses your temple. “We’re gonna make you feel so good.”
You remind your figure to calm down, allowing Geto to play with your anus for it to accommodate the next foreign limb he’ll put inside. Gojo keeps kneading your butt, but he throws furtive thrusts up to your chasm to keep you on your toes. You gasp when Geto removes his digits suddenly, and now you bite your bottom lip at the contact of his cockhead touching your puckered entrance. “Stay calm for me, princess. Gonna go slow just for you…”
Breathing with your mouth is the only way you can function through his insertion; even after he properly lubed himself and the rubber, it never fails to amaze you how you’ve been able to take in his girthy dick times before. Every inch pushed inside you feels as if your breath is pulled away, feeling both your holes become occupied. And your head goes up at the snap of Geto’s pelvis smacking on your ass, mouth agape for drool to sneak down puffy lips.
“Heh, there you are,” Gojo licks your spit before placing a kiss on your lips. “What a pretty face when you’re going dumb on our dicks, Y/n.”
You couldn’t even reply in modesty because Geto immediately goes pounding your ass with hunger. Your wails come out freely at the pacing of both boys propelling themselves into you. And it doesn’t help that your holes don’t stop contracting on their dicks as they push, the motion making you move your clit against Gojo and having your sore nerves active again.
“Holy fuck,”Geto drills his cock into your taint, grinding his hips into you to make you whine aloud. He then bends to kiss your sweaty shoulder down to your spine. “You’re so tight, Y/n…like you’re gonna milk me dry.”
Words are exhilarated squeaks and shrills, your arms coming around Gojo’s neck and pressing your hot cheek on his. He snickers at how touchy you are, “Hey, baby,” he coaxes you through the onslaught of ruts that quicken in tempo. “God, you sound so fucking cute, angel…”
“—Ahhahh…! Ohhh, guysss, pleaseee, slow d—Owwhhnn!!” You cry, eyes watering with the pokes and jabs on your velvety insides, the curve of Gojo scraping you in places you can’t reach, and Geto’s girth having your backside completely stretched for him. It’s all too much to focus on as your delicate bud is pressed on by your weight. “…Nhooo, God, I’m gonna—“
“Gonna cum, cutie?” You nod hurriedly, amusing Gojo for more chuckles. “Let’s cum together, yeah? Such a pretty girl…” And then, Gojo claims your lips for a steamy, passionate kiss, bringing a hand from your bottom to place behind your head to keep you on him.
“—Hnngh!! Wait, sweetheart, don’t clamp onto me so sudden—Ohh, shit, shit, shiiit,” Black hair strands fall from Geto’s shoulders as he falters at your grip. “Gonna cum, too….Gahhh—“
Your crescendo is the first to appear, howling and mewling into Gojo’s lips while your trembling figure undergoes the shocks of the deep penetration on both ends. The fluttering sensations of your cunt and anus are what prompt the two men to spill their load into you simultaneously, groaning with pleasure from your body. Your head is undoubtedly dizzy, your brain spiraling with impulses as your frame jerks with every wave of your orgasm.
After his climax is done, Geto slowly withdraws his cock from you. The condom filled with his essence. “Phew, that felt way too good.”
“For real, can’t get enough of this.” Gojo sighs while groping your asscheeks and kissing your forehead. “Ready for another round, baby? C’mon, let’s switch before Suguru gets all crybaby on us.” His sweet tone immediately flips to narrow his eyes at Geto for throwing his used, tied condom at Gojo's face for that comment. “Oh, you disgusting son of a bitch…”
“Shut up and switch, or else I’ll have you watch me pound Y/n for fifteen minutes.”
Being loved and obsessed by the two heartthrobs of the school is no easy work, which is evident when you can’t even get to nap by yourself after the sexual activities. With Gojo spooning Geto while he spoons you, there is no rest with these two; they might as well put collars around their necks and give you their leashes with how smitten they are to be around you.
Yet, at the same time, you don’t hate it — far from that. Because you know their feelings for you are genuine, you can see it in their sleeping faces as they’re probably thinking about you in your dreams as you observe. With a smile, you place kisses on their cheeks and silently leave the bed to use their shower.
The warm water is just as welcoming and temperate as their love, keeping you safe and washing your anxiousness away. In your thoughts, you reflect on all the times you’ve grown because of them, and it goes to show that their involvement has done substantial help for you. And for that, you are forever grateful for them and will always reciprocate their feelings as you feel the same.
“Hey, Y/n.”
Well, minus the immediate sense of apprehension that skyrockets once you hear Geto’s voice come behind you. You turn to see his naked self coming towards you to wrap his arms around your waist. “Suguru!? I–I thought you were sleep—“
“I was until you left my arms,” he says to your ear with his dulcet voice, his hands kneading the flesh of your wet hips. “Besides, saves us a lot of time if we share the shower, right?”
“Oh, Y/n~,” another voice enters the bathroom, and your dread plummets even further when Gojo opens the curtains with glee. “Don’t tell me you decided to shower without m—…Oh, you’re here, too.”
“Obviously,” Geto sucks his teeth at his roommate. “I live in this apartment and use this same shower, dumbass.”
Snowy eyebrows crease with irritation as Gojo enters the walk-in shower, sandwiching you between the two. “Well, don’t you think it’s rude for you to use the shower when our guest is using it first?”
“I could be asking you the same thing because who told you to come here?”
“Duh! I’m here to shower with my lover; are you stupid?”
“Are you? Don’t you see a boyfriend is trying to have some alone time with their partner?”
“Oh, eat horse shit.”
“Croak and die.”
You can only stand there and be mushed by the two tall boys arguing over you, unable to flee the scene as they both have their hands on you. Again, you don’t hate it at all. You love them just as much as they love and adore you. They may be the school favorites; however, you are the most precious thing they wish to engage with and want to keep to themselves.
…But would it kill them to give you some room once in a while!?
Jesus, how am I gonna survive with these two…
requests/thirsts are open hehe~ 🧸
© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 – reblogs and comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ☆ header edit done by me + dividers by @/benkeibear.
#𝑯𝒐𝒔𝒉𝒊 ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ 𝑾𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔: 𝑹𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒔#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#geto x reader#geto smut#geto suguru x reader#geto suguru smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk imagines#anime smut
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What about a princess bunny-hybrid! reader (chubby like always) that has a secret romantic affair with a wolf-hybrid knight?
Nothing too original lmao but.... Maybe NSFW involved, please?
NSFW
warning: dubcon, somno, breeding, pregnancy
You had always been taken care of with a tender hand, your wolf!hybrid knight never letting you feel alone or afraid for even a second.
He absolutely adored you, that was clear to anyone that watched him interact with you for more than a minute… but unfortunately for your poor knight, you were oblivious to his romantic affections.
That was until the day your knight went into rut. Usually, he locked himself away from the world, not wanting to harm anyone… especially you.
But this time he had been on guard duty, staying by your side constantly due to a recent assassination attempt.
So when he watched over you sleeping, defenseless body as he stroked his fat cock, knotting his hand, he couldn’t help but gently press his tip to your tongue that poked out of you mouth.
It was straight up sinful. Knights were supposed to protect the purity of their princess and make sure they remained untainted… but here he was, using your thighs to get off as you snoozed peacefully.
It wasn’t long before that wasn’t enough. Your knight watched you like a predator watched its prey.
But you weren’t afraid. Your fluffy bunny ears twitched happily every time you saw him. After all, the two of you had been close since childhood.
“H-hey, you sure this is okay?”
Your knight licked your neck, your bottom lifted in the air and cotton tail wagging furiously as his cock rubbed against your bunny cunt.
“Of course it is, princess… just… trust me okay..?”
He panted, his tail swaying as he pressed against your tight hole. “Be a good girl for me, I always take care of you, don’t I?”
That was the first time he sunk his cock into your pretty pussy, starting off your love affair.
You’d think as a knight he would already be protective enough, but it only increased tenfold now that the two of you were mates.
He was able to keep it a secret for a while, excusing the issue of scenting you by saying it was for protection, and mating you in secret.
It got a bit harder when your belly started to swell with his pups and all you wanted to do was nest and be mated.
“Mmm!!”
He sighed as you tugged on his shirt, your chubby cheeks puffed out. His hand immediately moved to rest on your swollen belly as he began to groom you.
“What is it, my princess?”
You only whined at him some more, pulling him to your nest. These days he had been spoiling you rotten, unable to leave his precious mate upset in the slightest.
“Wanna mate…”
Your fluffy bunny ears twitches as you tried to get into a position so he could mount you, but lying on your belly wasn’t an option.
He quickly grabbed you by the hips, laying you on your side. “Shh, shh, careful now, my princess… you’re carrying our pups, okay?”
The feeling of his fingers slipping into your fat cunt made your cotton tail wag furiously, and his own tail began to thump against the bed.
“That feels good, princess? Sweet girl getting all wet got me, huh?”
Being stretched out just enough for his cock to slip into you made your body shudder. If he could, your mate would keep you on his knot all day…
Soft whimpers left your lips as he tried to be gentle with you, the tight grip on his hips telling you how much he was restraining himself from pounding into your sweet pussy.
Your scent was so intense now that you were pregnant, he couldn’t help knotting you within minutes. If anyone knew how often he had the princess of their kingdom blubbering in pleasure as he bounces you on his knot, they’d be shocked.
His claw circled your swollen belly. In reality, he feared his pups may be persecuted once they were born due to him not being of royal blood…
“My princess… I love you more than anything, you know… but some people wouldn’t want us to be together.”
The fog keeping your mind fuzzy cleared at his words, and your eyes twitched nervously. “Why? I love you, you’re my mate…”
You were too innocent, unaware of the implications of being impregnated by a commoner like him.
“I am, my princess… but they want to take you away from me. They are beginning to become suspicious of your growing belly and our close relationship…”
When tears began to fall down your chubby cheeks, he cursed under his breath. He felt terrible for being so selfish, putting you in harms way because he wanted something he wasn’t supposed to have… you.
“N-no, I wanna stay with you! You’re all I know…”
As you cried and sniffled, he licked your cheek before pulling you closer to him.
“Shh, shh… oh my love, don’t you know I am your knight? No need for years, they can never take you away from me. I will fight for our love until my body gives out.”
He sat up, causing you to whine and reach for him. “My love, if you want us to stay together, we must leave before your pregnancy is uncovered.”
Your bunny ears flicked, and you looked up at him with your teary eyes. “Are you asking me to run away with you?”
He pulled you to your feet, helping you stand on your wobbly, post breeding session legs.
“Will you?”
You answered by clinging to him and butting your head against him affectionately. After scooping you up, he covered your soft cheeks in kisses before setting you on your bed.
“Sleep, my dear. I’ll take care of all of the preparations.”
With that, he tucked you in, leaving the room to prepare for your future together.
He would have you, and no one would get in the way of his love for his princess.
After all, a knight was supposed to protect his princess and make sure they remained happy.
And you were happy in his arms…
Part 2?
———————
NSFW TAGLIST: @sunset-214 @strawberrypoundtown @avalordream @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @im-eating-rn @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @unforgettablewhvre @yoongiigolden @peachesdabunny @murder-hobo @leiselotte @misswonderfrojustice @dij-ology @i8kaeya @lollboogurl @h3110-dar1in9 @keikokashi @aliceattheart @mssmil3y @spicyspicyliving @namjoons-t1ddies @izarosf1833 @healanette @lem-hhn @spufflepuff @honey-crypt @karljra @zyettemoon1800 @exodiam @vexillum-moeru @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @buckoothecow @binnieonabike @enchantedsylveon @mysticranger575 @readeryn68 @danielle143 @kittenlover614 @filthybunny420 @annavittoria-mm @makimamybelovedwife @blubearxy @omglovelylaila @midromiell @toocollectionchaos-universe-blog @fruk-you-usuk-fans @wil10wthetree
#5k event#cw dubcon#cw breeding#wolf hybrid bf#wolf hybrid smut#wolf x bunny#wolf hybrid#monster fucker#monster lover#monster fudger#monster boyfriend#monster fic#chubby!reader#chubby reader#x reader#fem reader#female reader#monster bf#monster x human#monster smut#monster fucking#plus size reader#teraphilia#terat0philliac#teratophillia#terato#exophelia#fat reader#bunny hybrid!reader#hybrid bunny
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it is shocking what a solid 8 hours of sleep can do to ya
#i’m feeling so energetic today and like. happy? it’s weird#i’ve been feeling … idk weird this past couple weeks#between work and family and friend stuff … all’s okay nothing’s wrong but sometimes everything’s too much#oh shit i just realized why i’m happy: i finally got paid today. i have money lmaooooo#i feel like a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders tbh#my boyfriend’s been paying for everything lately bc i literally couldn’t and he’s a saint and he doesn’t care ab it#but i do and i hated the feeling of money hanging over my head …#but today i was able to pay him back for everything and i feel so relaxed lmao it wasn’t the sleep guys!! it’s the financial liberation#after financial troubles!!! all’s good then
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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐫 | 𝐬.𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you got used to running away from the consequences of your actions, but it turned out to be incredibly difficult when the consequences are your coworker and their name is spencer reid.
𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬/𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐰: spencer reid x fem!baureader, canon typical violence and topics, season 1/2 reid, GLASSES REID, queen elle greenaway herself, gideon being a little creep (as usual), reader clearly ovulating lmao, mention of a trauma connected with drowning, mention of one night stands of the reader, inspired by taylor swift song "the bolter", dominant reader (mostly), spencer being awkwardly sweet
𝐚/𝐧: i should be doing my history assigment now instead of writing another freaky long fic but here i am
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 10k
Fuck, you thought the moment you realized you’d woken up in someone’s arms.
Double fuck, you added as it dawned on you that this wasn’t some random guy you met at a club, the kind who’d bought you a drink, whose name you hadn’t even tried to remember, and whose life you could easily disappear from without a second thought. Instead, you were lying in the bed of a coworker—a teammate you saw almost every single day.
Triple fuck.
Maybe even quadruple, because of how much you liked it. That is, lying next to his bare skin. In a position where one of his arms was wrapped around your body, his face buried in your hair, in the curve of your neck. His breathing steady, occasionally tickling you. Pleasant. It was pleasant.
You were up to five fucks already, and you hadn’t even left the bed yet.
There was no doubt in your mind that you were going to do it. By the time Spencer Reid opened his gorgeous, chocolate-brown eyes, you’d already be gone. Long gone, behind the wheel of your car, speeding at the maximum legal limit with the window cracked open, despite the icy gusts of winter air rushing in.
You’d been perfecting this strategy for years. First, you’d lose yourself in strangers’ sheets with moans and gasps, only to slip away in the early morning, filled with a thrill even greater than what you’d felt just a few hours before. Why? A very good question. You wished you had the answer to it.
This situation shouldn’t have been an exception, though theoretically, it already was. After all, you’d never even considered doing this with people you knew so well. People you couldn’t just ghost without consequence. People you—leaning over to check the clock on the bedside table—were supposed to see again in less than an hour!
You rubbed your sleepy face with your hand, silently cursing yourself. If only you’d been drunk the night before. People dodge the consequences of far worse actions than having a sex with a coworker simply by blaming it on alcohol. But no—when all of this started, you’d been completely sober and fully aware. Incredibly turned on, it’s worth mentioning.
Before the memories of the previous night could start ambushing you, you scrambled out of the bed. First, of course, you had to untangle yourself from the mess of limbs—carefully, so as not to wake him. You gently moved his arm aside and adjusted the blanket over his hips. Where this sudden care and tenderness came from was yet another very interesting question.
Tiptoeing around the bedroom, you gathered your clothes. Your panties and bra you shamelessly clutched in one hand, intending to shove them into your jacket pocket later. Before heading for it, though, you paused for a brief moment in front of the bed, in front of the still-sleeping Reid.
The blanket, pushed low, revealed the upper half of his lean body—his prominent collarbones and the smooth, even tone of his delicious skin. His chest rose and fell steadily, his hand resting in the spot where you’d been lying just moments ago. As if you were still there.
What a shame it was only a one-time thing.
Some people, looking at his innocent appearance, had no idea how much he had to offer. Their loss, you thought, leaving the apartment on shaky legs, feeling soreness in most of the muscles in your body. When you finally got inside the car and the wind began to cool your flushed face and cheeks, the guilt faded away. You didn’t feel as good as usual, your heart wasn’t racing, and the adrenaline wasn’t surging through your veins the way you craved. Strange. Did it have something to do with who your one-night lover was? You shook your head, trying not to dwell on it.
You’d had a really great time together that one night, but that was it. You were officially leaving it behind, forgetting it.
Just like you always did.
It wasn’t an exception, you told yourself, as you took a quick shower in your own apartment.
It wasn’t an exception, and the fact that you worked together didn’t change a thing.
It wasn’t an exception, you kept affirming, crossing the threshold of the office with still-damp hair and the buttons of your fitted black shirt unevenly fastened.
“Are we not greeting each other anymore?” someone’s question snapped you back to reality.
Lost in thought, you realized you’d passed your friend Elle’s desk without even nodding at her. She was sitting on the edge of it, arms crossed over her chest, her dark eyes seeming to pierce through your skull, sifting through your memories. She was sharp—sometimes, too sharp. With nothing more than a sly smile, she let you know she knew something was going on.
"Sorry. I'm still half asleep," you said, approaching her for a hug. You let out a chuckle. "Or maybe I'm completely asleep if I missed such a hot chick in my path."
Elle pushed you away by a finger’s length, her eyebrows raised in a challenge.
"You think you're gonna distract me with compliments? Better start talking—who's the guy?"
“What guy?” someone asked, surprisingly not you, but Derek, who stepped into the room with a massive cup of coffee, nearly dropping it as he tried to greet both of you. You loved the laid-back atmosphere of the early mornings at work, when you had a moment to chat about whatever. “Well, good morning, ladies. From the looks on your faces, I’m guessing you had a nice weekend?”
"From that huge cup of coffee, I’m guessing you did too, if you need that much caffeine. Partying on a Sunday night, you should be ashamed," you replied sarcastically, eyeing your coworker.
His eyebrows shot up.
"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," he whistled.
"She's just trying to change the subject," Elle informed him. "I was just interrogating our little bolter.
You rolled your eyes at hearing that nickname again. They’d started using it a while ago, as soon as they found out how you handled things with guys. There was nothing judgmental about it—they just really liked to tease you.
It took Morgan a moment to piece together what was going on. When he did, laughter burst from his lips.
"Is that why your hair is still wet? You left in such a rush you didn’t even have time to dry it?"
"She was afraid the sound of the hair dryer would wake the guy up," Elle snorted. "And, heaven forbid, they’d actually have to talk to each other."
“Oh, screw you both,” you muttered, aiming to act your age—in this case, by flipping them off. Before you could, Derek caught your hand, stopping you from spinning on your heel and stomping back to your desk.
“You know,” he said, suddenly a touch more serious, as if the question genuinely intrigued him, “I can’t help but wonder why you actually do it. For me, personally, waking up next to a lovely lady who made the night worthwhile is kind of the best part...”
"Are you asking about the psychological aspects behind it?" You raised an eyebrow. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Elle tilt her head slightly, clearly intrigued. "I don’t know. Something from childhood, probably. Everything stems from there, doesn’t it? Or maybe the reason is something else," you lowered your voice to a near conspiratorial whisper, leaning in closer to their faces as if about to reveal some great secret. "I simply enjoy it. As they say, you don’t pry into people’s bedrooms or wallets."
"That rule doesn’t apply to our friendship, sweetheart."
You chuckled at the remark; sometimes, you really did share a lot with each other. In any case, your response had nothing to do with modesty or shame on those topics. You chose to answer evasively because you didn’t feel like describing how addictive that feeling of escape was, how much control it seemed to give you. How your heart would race in those moments, and how all your fucking lives seemed to flash before your eyes then.
It was sick, many people have already told you that. Still, you couldn't stop.
"Good morning, everyone." Suddenly, JJ burst in, clutching a briefcase the size of an encyclopedia under her arm. "Hotch wants to see us all in five minutes, we have a new case. You'll find out everything in a moment, but I’ll say right away that it looks like a little trip is in store. Bring warm jackets."
"Mercy, not another case from Alaska..." Morgan started, rolling his eyes.
"Not this time. By the way, has Reid already arrived?"
Elle glanced around and shrugged.
"I don’t see him. Besides, if he were here, he’d already be telling us everything about the weather conditions in Alaska."
"Strange," Derek muttered under his breath. "I can’t remember the last time he was late."
You fixed your gaze on your shoes, as if there was something fascinating about them.
"It’s not like him," JJ agreed, a little worried. "Maybe I should call him..."
"He’s definitely stuck in traffic," you interjected quickly, forcing yourself to sound casual, though you tensed up involuntarily. The thought of confronting Spencer slightly scared you, though you wouldn't admit it to yourself. "I’m almost 100% sure. Anyway, shouldn’t we be heading out?"
You changed the subject, nodding toward the exit with your chin. And then, by accident, you made eye contact with Elle.
Elle, who knew you better than anyone.
Elle, who always, always knew when you were lying or hiding something. And whose eyes widened when she realized.
Feeling the blood rush to your ears, you subtly shook your head, silently pleading for her not to speak. But she, to your horror, opened her mouth.
"You two, go ahead," she directed at Morgan and JJ. Then she fixed her intense, demanding gaze directly on you. "We’ll join you in a minute. I need to have a word with our girl, privately."
Barely were you alone when she exclaimed:
"Did you sleep with Reid?!"
"Goddammit, Elle, could you say it any louder?" you hissed, glancing toward the door where your colleagues had just disappeared moments ago.
"Why not? So, you had sex with Dr. Spencer Reid...!"
"FOR GOD'S SAKE..."
"...our genius boy and a member of the same team?!"
"I’m fucking sure even Strauss heard that in her office," you sighed. "But yes, I did it, I regret it, and most importantly, this has to stay between us. Not a word to Derek, JJ, or Penelope, understood?"
To your surprise, Elle burst into laughter and raised her hands in a defensive gesture.
"You know I wouldn’t tell anyone without your permission. I was just playing around Anyway..." she sighed. "I find it hard to believe. You two? Honestly, there’s always been something between you…”
"No," you interrupted her sharply. The words left a ringing in your head. "There was nothing between us."
"So, you decided to sleep together just like that, out of boredom?"
"We need to go, Elle. The rest is probably waiting for us."
You moved forward, your friend trailing right behind you, like that little voice in the back of your mind urging you to order pizza at midnight.
"Oh, one more thing. You said you regret it. So, what, our genius didn’t meet your expectations..."
"End of discussion..."
"Last thing, you told me not to mention it to Garcia, Morgan, or JJ. What about Hotch? Can I tell him?"
You couldn’t keep up the seriousness any longer and burst into laughter, joined by Elle.
"Tell me what?" a voice called from behind you.
Fuck multiplied by twelve thousand seventy-nine.
Somehow, your boss appeared in the same hallway, probably heading to the same room where you were going to be briefed on your next case. You noticed how all the amusement disappeared from Elle’s face. You both exchanged a look, like teenagers caught smoking a cigarette by their parents.
You both turned, silently negotiating through eye contact—arguing, really, over who should speak up and save the situation. It fell to you.
"Um... we were wondering... if we should tell you... that we absolutely love your tie. It's so... red and... long..." It was only then that you noticed it was a gray tie. "Not that one. Another one. Absolutely stunning. And I’m actually looking for a birthday gift for a friend. He’s... a huge fan of... ties."
You tried not to look at Elle, fearing she might burst into laughter. She already seemed like she was suffocating inside. Improvisation was never your strong suit; you always had to say too much.
"So, I hope you don’t mind me asking where you bought it. That’s exactly the kind of tie I’m looking for. Red..." You bit your tongue before you could say long again. "Good quality. One that you’d just want to untie..."
Hotch’s completely stoic expression didn’t help.
"Oh." Suddenly, you realized you hadn’t even greeted him. "Good morning, boss. Are you having a good day?"
"Average," he replied, completely ignoring your whole tie spiel.
Silence fell. Elle stared at the floor, and the corners of her mouth twitched dangerously.
"Let’s get to work," Hotch suggested, clearing his throat. He extended his hand, gesturing for you to go ahead. As soon as you turned, you squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment. "I got it from Hailey," he spoke to you in a quieter tone, opening the door to the room where the rest of the team was already gathered. "But if you really care, I can ask her where she bought it."
Sometimes you had a hard time figuring out if the guy was serious or just messing with you.
"I’d be greatly appreciative," you managed to say, quickly passing him and taking a seat at the long table.
You heard Elle whispering to Morgan something that started with "You won’t believe this…” and contained a combination of the words red, long, and untie.
Actually, saying that all the team members were inside wasn’t entirely true. One of them was missing.
"Reid’s late?" Penelope wondered, just as your gaze fell on his empty seat.
"Let’s start without him," Hotch decided. "This can’t wait. JJ?"
She handed out the case files to everyone and moved to the screen, where the most important details and photos related to the case were being displayed. Before he could even say a word, a late Spencer burst into the room.
"Sorry, really, sorry..." he said frantically. "I know this never happens, but I overslept..."
He stopped mid-sentence as soon as his eyes met yours. It felt like he might as well have shouted, Hey, you know we had sex last night? and it would have been less suggestive. Or maybe it was just your inner paranoid voice talking.
"You could’ve informed us you’d be late," Hotch said.
Reid was still desperately trying to catch your eye, even though you were determinedly focusing on everything except him. It wasn’t until a moment later that he realized Hotch had said something to him, and he sighed in surprise, snapping back to reality.
"Oh... yeah, I should have. Definitely. Actually... I actually sent a message to y/n."
At that moment, all eyes turned to you. You furrowed your brow. There was no way he had written or called you — you would have heard it… which, of course, didn’t mean you would have replied. Your hand went to your pocket…
"I forgot my phone."
Only then did you look at Reid, your expression should have given him the message you intended. I left my phone at your place...
“I’ll look for it for you,” he offered. He immediately panicked, probably realizing that you'd rather keep your night together a secret. “I mean, I’ll help you look for it. If you want…”
“Reid, please, sit down,” Hotch stopped him from completely humiliating both of you. At that point, you had a burning desire to bang your head on the table. “And close the door.”
“Right…”
He followed the order and took a seat next to JJ, across from you, sending a small, uncertain smile. You didn’t react, your face remained unreadable, even irritated by how much he was giving away about what had happened between you.
Still, seeing his slightly wrinkled shirt, the same one he wore the previous evening when he opened the door for you, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander. Those small imperfections in the fabric were, of course, from how hastily you had removed it and tossed it to the floor, where it had stayed all night…
The first time you had met outside of work, as two ordinary friends and not colleagues, was a few weeks ago. You had to drop by his place in the evening to pick up some documents you needed for the next day at work.
“Thank god,” you sighed as the door opened. “Elle isn’t picking up at all. I have no idea what she’s doing or where she is, and I seriously need this. If I don’t bring it, I can pretty much say goodbye to BAU.”
Only then did you lift your gaze to the man standing in front of you, too absorbed in your panic over the missing papers to actually take a good look at him. One hand rested on the doorframe, dressed in a sweater vest with the collar of a shirt peeking out beneath it.
“I’m glad I could help,” he replied. Thin-framed glasses rested on his nose, which he only wore occasionally for work. It was a shame because they suited him well. “But I’m sure Hotch wouldn’t throw you out just for being one day late.”
“I’ve been putting it off for three weeks.”
“That definitely changes things. Are you coming in? I need to... check if I have everything. “I’m really sorry, but you actually called just a moment ago and I didn’t manage to…”
“Don’t worry about it,” you waved a hand reassuringly. “I should’ve reached out earlier and not bothered you at this hour. But since you’re inviting me, I’m coming in. I’ve never been to your place before.”
“You’re not bothering me at all,” he assured you as you both walked further into the apartment. The lighting was dim, creating a cozy and relaxed atmosphere.
You stopped in the living room when a familiar sound reached your ears—a melody you knew all too well. Without a second thought, you followed it to its source.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you huffed in surprise, coming to a halt in front of the glowing TV screen, its bright light cutting through the dim surroundings.
“What?” Spencer finally noticed you had wandered off and joined you a minute later. “Oh, sorry. I was watching it earlier and forgot to turn it off…”
“No!” You stopped him before he could reach for the remote. “Don’t you dare. History’s Mysteries is my favorite show.”
Spencer looked at you as though he expected you to burst into laughter any second and admit you were joking. But no, you genuinely, wholeheartedly loved that program. Especially the episodes about extraterrestrial life—deep down, you’d always been a bit of a nerd.
You crossed your arms over your chest, pretending to be annoyed.
“What?” you challenged, raising an eyebrow. “You think just because I’m hot, I can’t have any intellectual interests?”
He widened his eyes, shaking his head.
"Don't put those words in my mouth. I’d never say—or even think—something like that."
"That I’m hot?"
"No! What? I mean… I wouldn’t assume you couldn’t have intellectual interests just because you’re…"
"Hot," you finished for him, letting out a laugh. "Relax, Reid, I’m just messing with you. By the way, you have a really nice apartment. Honestly, I kind of expected, I don’t know, a lab or something."
"Well, so far, you’ve only seen the living room," he replied.
"And I'd love to see the rest of it," you announced, rocking slightly on your heels. "But I haven't seen this episode yet, and I'm very curious about what it's about."
You noticed him hesitate, clearly unsure how to respond.
"Unless, of course, you don’t want me to stay. Maybe you're expecting someone. A girl or a guy?"
"No, no, I’m not expecting anyone," he replied quickly, swallowing nervously. A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth—barely noticeable, but it was there. "You’re absolutely not bothering me. Actually, it’ll be... it’ll be nice to have you stay. But, um... the documents. I should—I'll go get those ready for you. Would you like something to drink?"
"...Four bodies were retrieved from a hole in the ice of a completely frozen lake. All the victims were young girls, aged thirteen to nineteen and each of them was involved in prostitution."
You were brought back to reality by JJ's words. You felt someone's gaze on you, surprisingly not from the direction you had expected. It was Gideon, and you were sure he had noticed the strange tension between you and Spencer. That was likely the reason behind his scrutiny. You had always thought he was a solid guy, but at times, he scared you. He looked at people as if he could see their original sin, not just theirs, but also that of five generations back in their family.
You shuddered, but for another reason. The subject... frozen lake, bodies pulled out... even though so many years had passed, and you could barely remember the event, the chill still crept down your spine, and your heart raced like you were running away.
"Wait a minute," Derek said, furrowing his brow thoughtfully. "How thick could the ice be on that lake?"
"Given the current almost extreme temperatures, probably around 50 inches. That's thick enough for even cars to move safely on it," Reid explained without hesitation.
You sighed, trying to hide a fleeting smile. You just... sounded like a fetishist, but you couldn't deny that it was a little exciting when he did that. He delivered long, flawless explanations, all while looking genuinely fascinated by the topic. It didn't matter what you were talking about.
Elle raised an eyebrow. You decided to ignore her.
“Doesn’t it make you wonder how he managed to cut a hole in the lake, in such thick ice, without anyone noticing?” Morgan continued.
“Actually, he didn’t have to do it personally,” Reid replied again. He took off his glasses and thoughtfully turned them in his hands. “Under different weather conditions, we might consider that, but these were most likely holes made for other purposes. Fishing, mostly, but also to test if the ice can support vehicles, for example. The unsub could have simply shown up, discarded the body, and that’s it.”
You all started the discussion on the topic without your input. You should have stayed focused, but you couldn't help but keep glancing back at his long fingers, holding the glasses...his touch so delicate and skilled…
The door opened once again, just like every Sunday, when the two of you caught up on the weekly episode of the show. After you stayed over at his place once to watch it together, it simply became a tradition. An unspoken one.
With each meeting, you talked less and less about work. It was still kept in a purely friendly atmosphere—otherwise, you wouldn't have shown up. You weren't looking for a committed relationship, but lately, the usual physicality wasn't enough, and you needed a new conversation partner on a deeper level. The range of your topics was vast, from casual chatter to deep analyses of the content you watched (you could talk for hours about conspiracy theories), or serious yet comforting conversations about life and the world.
"Where's my pillow?" you asked, pointing to the spot on the left side of the couch where you always sat.
"I spilled coffee on it, by accident. It's in the laundry. Sorry."
"Did you really just apologize for taking your pillow from your own apartment?"
"Sorry, It’s just my thing”
You both burst out laughing, sitting side by side on the couch.
"I miss something to rest my head on," you complained after just a minute. "I’ve got neck pain from sleeping on the jet."
"So, you should definitely sleep on a flat surface," he teased. "See, I took the pillow out of concern for you."
"Ladies and gentlemen, Spencer Reid before you. The man who will always find a scientific reason to make your life harder. Maybe I should just sleep on a bed of nails instead of a mattress, huh?"
“I just suggested a slightly flatter surface! Where did the nails come from?”
“That’s the same to me. I need softness.”
Spencer shook his head.
“I can bring you a pillow from my bedroom.”
“The episode is starting.”
“I’ll be back in a second…”
“Oh, and then you’ll complain you can’t talk about the plot because you missed the first minute, and so much probably happened,” you stopped him from getting up, grabbing his wrist. “Sit. I’ll survive the neck pain. Or… or I’ll just lie down here.”
Saying this, you simply rested your head on his lap, settling comfortably on your side.
“What did the autopsy reveal?” Elle asked. “Did the victims die from drowning, or were their bodies just dumped in the water with a different cause of death?”
You should have focused on the case at hand, but you couldn’t shake the discomfort this topic caused you. No wonder your thoughts kept straying to more pleasant places as you tried to distance yourself from it. Still, you read through the case files, knowing you had to stay focused to solve this. Lives depended on it.
“They were all alive when they were thrown into the water,” JJ said with tightly pressed lips. “And each of them suffered a heavy blow to the head.”
“That’s how he abducts them,” Derek summarized. “Knocks them unconscious with a strong hit. Maybe he pretends to be a client, and once they leave with him, he strikes.”
“The question is, why specifically the lake’s ice hole?” you mused, tapping your nails on the table in an anxious gesture. “Is it purely practical? Did he think it was the easiest place to dispose of the bodies?”
You couldn’t take your eyes off the photos of the drowning victims—it felt like self-inflicted torture. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Reid staring at you differently than before. Once, you’d told him a story about something that happened to you as a child, more like a casual anecdote than a heartfelt confession. Even so, you thought you saw some worry etched on his face.
For the first time since he walked through the door, you met his eyes directly, responding to his desperate attempts to catch your gaze. Surprised that you finally looked at him, he froze, his slightly parted lips emitting a short sound as if he wanted to say something but forgot what it was at the last second.
"No... I don't think so," he finally said, drawing out the syllables absentmindedly. The slight furrow in his brow suggested he was deep in thought. "Bathing in water symbolizes cleansing from sin in many religions, both physically and spiritually. For example, in Christianity, baptism washes away original sin. Prostitutes are often the targets of serial killers who believe they’re purging society in some way. Since we’ve ruled out a sexual motive, maybe this is where we should focus our attention."
"That’s a good lead," Hotch agreed, as the rest of the team considered the analysis in silence. "In that case, we’re likely dealing with a religious fanatic. Such perpetrators often believe they’re acting in the name of God or some higher good. Worse still, they see their actions as morally justified, which means they feel no remorse."
"And that, in turn, means they won’t stop killing until they’re caught," Gideon concluded.
"Then there will soon be another victim. We need to move now," your boss decided, quickly straightening his papers against the table before tucking them into his briefcase. "See you on the jet in fifteen minutes."
Throughout the meeting, you'd laid out the victims' photos in front of you, studying them closely. Preoccupied with gathering them up, you could hear everyone heading toward the door, convinced you'd been left alone in the room.
But when you looked up, you found yourself face-to-face with none other than Reid. Your breath hitched for a moment. You knew this confrontation was inevitable, but you'd worked so hard to push the thought of it away…
"Hey," he greeted with a small smile on his lips. He seemed almost excited about the conversation. "I just wanted…to ask how you're doing."
You shrugged, forcing indifference.
"Fine, I guess."
You finished sliding the photos back into the case file, closed it, and pressed it to your chest.
"We should get going. Hotch gave us fifteen minutes, but the sooner we leave, the better..."
"You don't even want to talk to me?" he asked unexpectedly, shaking his head slightly in genuine disbelief. He swallowed hard and added, "About last night?"
You squeezed your eyes shut for a moment. You hated this—hated it with every fiber of your being. That awful moment when you had to tell someone you'd spent the night with that it didn’t mean anything to you, that you didn’t want to keep seeing them, let alone get involved. And it was so much worse this time. This wasn’t some random guy. This was Spencer—your friend, someone you genuinely cared about, whose friendship you couldn’t afford to lose, especially since you worked together.
Your body was conditioned to run, to escape. Waking up in someone else’s bed always signaled an immediate sprint to the finish line. But this time, it felt like you’d tripped over an untied shoelace barely a meter in.
"There’s nothing to talk about," you replied. The strange tension of being in the same room with him again, just the two of you in this small space—so much like last night—settled over you. "Actually, wait. There is. I think I left my phone at your place, though it might’ve fallen somewhere in the car. Could you look for it when we get back?"
He didn’t respond. You weren’t sure why, but you kept your gaze fixed anywhere but on him—his shirt, the space behind him, anything to avoid his eyes. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe you should look directly at him, let your words carry the weight they were supposed to.
Spencer suddenly let out a short, sharp laugh, filled with shock and maybe even… sarcasm?
"Did it really mean so little to you that you can't even look at me?"
You gave in and lifted your gaze. His head tilted slightly to the side, his brow furrowed. He looked somehow hurt even though hurt seemed too strong a word.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean how you disappeared this morning. I thought maybe you were in a rush or didn’t want to wake me, but when I got there, you barely even looked at me. Sorry—actually, you looked at me only once”
"What did you expect, that I’d throw myself at you and kiss you?"
"No, I expected that we’d talk about it like normal people."
"But there’s nothing to talk about. It happened, and that’s it. I don’t see any reason we should have to debate about it..."
Spencer wasn’t angry, like others might have been. He was simply stunned.
"I don’t understand this," he finally confessed, adjusting his glasses on his nose. It was as if they suddenly became a bother, so he adjusted them again, then, after a moment of hesitation, took them off. "Do you regret what happened?"
“No,” you answered quickly, it was the first honest thought that came to your mind. You pinched the bridge of your nose, unable to find the right words. “Well… I don’t regret it in the way you might think. It’s just… I’m not sure what you expect from me now. We spent one night together, it was amazing, but I don’t have anything more to offer you.”
“I don’t want you to offer me anything,” he said, irritation beginning to creep into his voice, though it didn’t seem to be directed at you. “The only thing I want is… to understand where we stand now. Look, we’ve been spending a lot of time together lately, I thought you liked me…”
“Because I do like you,” you interrupted him mid-sentence. "Let me be honest with you, Reid. I don’t do relationships. And just so you know, I don’t usually sleep with my friends either, but it happened, and I can’t undo it, nor would I want to. Because I enjoyed it, I like you, and I have a great time when I’m with you. And up until now, I’ve really enjoyed how things have been between us. I don’t want anything to change."
You summed up what had been weighing on your heart, hoping with all sincerity that he’d understand. Spencer leaned his hands on the back of an empty chair, turning his body slightly toward you.
"So," he said, letting out something between a chuckle and a pained sigh. "Maybe you shouldn’t have gone to bed with me."
"Listen, sex doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a physical act, it doesn’t affect our friendship in any way."
"Do you really believe that?"
“Yes, I do,” you insisted stubbornly, refusing to let yourself even blink. Spencer turned his face toward you, looking for signs of a lie or uncertainty in your expression.
He wouldn’t have been able to find any, even if he tried with all his might. Because you were a brilliant actress. And it wasn’t that you hid your feelings so well. It was more that everything about you was so contradictory that it created a whole range of possible interpretations. And Spencer, with his deeply rooted need to hurt himself and test his own worth, chose to settle on the one that would guarantee him that.
“Well, good for you,” he finally replied, before leaving the room completely, not even turning back over his shoulder.
For a moment, you stood in silence, unable to identify what you were actually feeling. In truth, your earlier words had been honest. You cared about your friendship, the connection, the conversations, and the time spent together. But at the same time, you couldn’t deny that he simply attracted you. Just yesterday, you had convinced yourself it was probably just curiosity. Sometimes people wonder what it would be like to try something with a friend, they do it, and then all those similar thoughts fade away.
But was it the same for you two?
Your head and shoulders had been resting on his lap for a while, your cheek comfortably pressed against his thigh, and the glow of the TV occasionally lit up your focused face when something brighter appeared on the screen.
Spender seemed tense about the position for just a minute, then, for the next five, he was simply surprised. Although you focused your attention on the program, you could feel his gaze falling on your figure from time to time, stopping on it for a moment. After ten minutes, you were both lying comfortably, with mutual ease, and after an unknown amount of time, one of his hands was resting on your side.
Every now and then, you spoke to each other, exchanging short, often sarcastic comments about the episode. During one of these interactions, something caught your attention.
"Where are your glasses?" you asked. You turned onto your back, resting the back of your head on his lap instead of your temple and cheek.
You could look up at him from that amusing, lower perspective, from which everyone looks particularly unflattering. You smiled at his expression when he tilted his head to look at you.
"Oh, I have them here," he replied, lifting the glasses he must have set on the couch.
"But why aren’t you wearing them?" You could swear that when you started watching, they were on his nose. You had noticed because you really liked how he looked in them.
He shrugged.
"You’re straining your eyes. Put them on," you asked.
Spencer moved his hand as if he wanted to reach for them, but at the last moment, he hesitated.
"I... I don’t exactly like how I look in them," he finally confessed.
After those words, you stared at the ceiling for a moment, then pushed yourself up on your elbow, almost aggressively. His eyebrows shot up at that.
"You must be joking."
"What?"
"I said, you must be joking. You look great in them. They really suit you," you assured him, sitting up. "You know, when I was a teenager, I always wanted to wear glasses. I even envied the girls with poor eyesight."
"You know, I’m fully aware you’re saying this just to get me to wear them?"
"True, you got me. Did it work?"
"Not really."
You bit your lower lip, thoughtfully considering a certain idea.
"Okay, give them to me for a moment," you asked, extending your hand. "I’ll tell you something that will convince you to wear them. From now on, you’ll even sleep in them. Well, maybe especially sleep in them."
He tilted his head, trying for a moment to read your intentions from your face, but he couldn’t. He sighed and handed you the glasses.
"Don’t..."
"Don’t grab them by the lenses, I know that," you finished, rolling your eyes. "I’m not some animal."
With his glasses in hand, you changed your position on the couch, kneeling so that you were more or less facing each other.
"I’m waiting for your arguments," he said, his voice sly, to which you raised an eyebrow.
"Well, this will be an argument combined with a little presentation," you clarified. "Have you ever heard of the glasses theory?"
"Is that an actual concept in human psychology, or something you just made up? If it’s the latter, I’m afraid I haven’t”
Listen, it’s very simple, but you’d better focus on me," you demanded, ignoring his previous remark.
"I’m focused."
Indeed, he was. His gaze was fixed on you with such intensity and engagement, as if you were about to deliver a speech that could change the fate of the universe. Or maybe it just seemed that way because you were so close to each other.
"Forgive me for the unacademic language, Doctor, but I don’t like to complicate things too much. This theory says that with glasses, you can only look one of two ways: smart or hot."
Spencer had already chuckled, ready to jump in with a sarcastic comment, but you pressed your finger to his lips, moving even closer.
"Don’t interrupt me for now, I’m not done yet. This theory also says that your look in glasses will always be the opposite of your usual, everyday look. So, if without them you look like the typical intellectual who knows the meaning of every word in the dictionary, then in them…" You paused, tilting your head to the side. Up until now, your finger had been resting on his lips, which it had landed on by chance, but you couldn’t stop yourself from trailing it along his chin and jawline. He didn’t take his eyes off you, which only made it harder to stop. "In them, you look really, really attractive. Like, you know, sexually attractive”
You felt his chest rise. You felt it because one of your hands was resting on it as you sat on his lap, though you had no idea how you had ended up there. Spencer had been entirely focused on your face until now-on your speaking lips, not on how your bodies were positioned in relation to each other. He exhaled, loudly, far too loudly for comfort, the breath he'd been holding in. The sound escaped as you settled your full weight on his lap instead of just hovering above it.
“Do you really mean that?”
Yes, you wanted to respond briefly, right into his ear.
“That’s the theory. And I… I agree with it. I even have another example. You won’t deny that I’m hot, right? It’s just something people think when they see me. A statement of fact. So… when I put on glasses…” Saying this, you slid his glasses onto your own nose. Your entire field of vision blurred slightly, making it hard to see his reaction. You could only feel how his body responded..“Well? How do I look?”
He didn’t answer. His breathing grew deeper, his pulse quicker. You knew this because your hand, which had been exploring every corner of his face, had already made its way to his neck and decided to stay there for a while.
“Spencer,” you prompted, “I asked how I look.”
He lowered his head, the top of it brushing against your sternum, lingering there for a moment. When he straightened again, his eyes were in constant flux, like those of someone torn by too many desires at once.
“Smart,” he replied, his voice barely audible, the word catching in his throat. “Now you look really smart.”
You shifted higher on his lap, drawn to him by the pull of his voice.
“Smart,” you repeated with a laugh, your tone edging toward a whisper, slipping between the two of you and filling the small space like liquid poured into a vessel. “That confirms the theo—…”
You broke off when his lips finally surged toward yours, impatient and pushed to the very edge of restraint. His jaw pressed against yours, forcing your entire body to tilt back. You swayed on his lap, both of his hands falling tou your hips, his fingertips pressing firlmy into your skin to hold your body at the same place, right next to him, close, closer.
The kiss, born of desperation, quickly transformed into the release of a long-hidden hunger shared by you both. It was equal on every level, matched in intensity and force.
In the midst of it all, you lost your breath, repeatedly pulling your lips away from his to gasp for air, only to reconnect moments later. One of those brief pauses drew a wretched, urging whimper from him.
It was around then that you felt the pressure, growing stronger against your core.
An involuntary smile spread across your lips, breaking the kiss, during which you briefly took control, tilting his neck back for better access. Pulling away by barely an inch, you managed to notice that his barely open eyelids were still fixed on your lips, glistening with saliva and flushed with desire.
“Spencer? What is it? “
After asking that question you pressed yourself to his hips, pointing to the obvious hardness. His eyes widened, as if all the previous actions had taken place far beyond his body, to which he had only just returned. He inhaled sharply, his fingers gripping your body firmly and decisively as if trying to slide you off his lap. Something in the intensity of his touch and his attempt to take control only made you cling to him more.
“Didn’t expect you to be that hard after a kiss, but maybe it’s my fault” You muttered a joke under your breath, your lips briefly marking the space along his jawline, chin, and finally his lips. In the meantime, while one of your hands remained firmly on his neck, the other decisively reached its target. Then, griped it through the fabric of his pants. His lips parted, b loout no sound came out; it seemed to have been swallowed by his surprise. “Do you want me to take care of it?”
Your hand remained still, waiting for an answer. At first, he was silent, focused on his own breathing, not looking at your face, which you found quite unsettling.
"Spencer, I want you to answer me."
When he hesitated again, you gently brushed your lips against the lobe of his ear. But before you could repeat your request, he unexpectedly pulled both of you to the side, positioning you beneath him.
You gasped, surprised by the shift in dynamics.
“I want this” he whimpered into your ear, covering it with his mouth along with the space around it. “I really, really want this, please…”
But was it the same for you two?
You repeated the question in your mind and recalled how, arched like a bow, you placed the glasses on his face, wanting to see him wear them as he made you come.
You stood there in the empty room, replaying that moment in your head, well aware that you should join the rest of the team, but not so sure about the answer
*
"Please don’t tell me that those fifteen minutes when you were alone..."
"Disgusting, Elle, you’re just disgusting."
Your friend, sitting across from you on the jet, smiled as if you’d just given her a compliment. The rest of the team either engaged in conversation with each other or reviewed the case files once more, looking for new clues. Reid belonged to the latter group, though his absent expression didn’t suggest he was deep in thought about the case. But you made an effort not to look at him, feeling a bit guilty for how things had unfolded.
"What exactly did you tell him?"
"That I don’t date and I’m not looking for anything serious."
"You just told him that?"
"What was I supposed to do, draw him a picture?"
"It’s not about that, it’s just..." Elle hesitated, unsure of what she wanted to say. She didn’t seem as cheerful as before. "I guess you didn’t say it that directly, right? Don’t get me wrong, but it’s kind of... cruel."
Her gaze briefly shifted toward the subject of your conversation, looking concerned.
"Would you have come to that conclusion if it were any other guy you didn’t know?"
She sighed.
"Probably not, and that’s why I think I’m having some sort of moral crisis."
You fell into a bit of an unpleasant mood for the rest of the flight. Unsure of what else to do, you decided to think a bit about the case and the murders. You even came to a conclusion and were about to stand up to discuss it when it hit you that you wanted your conversation partner to be...Reid. You sighed and stopped halfway, not knowing if he was ready to talk to you again.
Soon enough, you arrived in the small town where the murders had taken place. Naturally, you headed straight to the site where the bodies were discovered. Bundled up in thick down jackets, the crunch of deep snow underfoot accompanied your every step. You busied yourself talking to the local police, deliberately keeping your distance from the lake. The vast expanse of frozen water seemed to glare at you, challenging and mocking, as though daring you to come and play. Every glance at the ice awakened an inexplicable urge to sprint to its center, to feel the chills coursing through your body and surrender to a reckless exhilaration.
Rain drummed against the bridge like a barrage of tiny bullets, sharp and unrelenting, as if determined to pierce straight through you. You stood huddled beneath an umbrella with Reid, but both of you were already soaked to the bone, shivering from the relentless cold.
“Where the hell are they?” you asked through chattering teeth.
As part of your investigation, you and Reid had been sent to a nearby high school to interview the teachers of a missing teenager. The rest of the team had been assigned different tasks, and someone was supposed to pick you up at the agreed-upon spot and time so you could regroup and share your findings. But the wait was dragging on far longer than expected.
“I’d just like to remind you that you laughed at me when I took this umbrella, saying there wasn’t a single cloud in the sky and it definitely wouldn’t rain,” Spencer remarked, switching the umbrella from his red, cold hand to the other one he had been keeping warm in his coat pocket.
You looked at him with envy. Your jacket didn’t even have pockets, and you started wondering why you’d even bought it in the first place.
“This is not the time to point fingers at me,” you retorted. “This is the time to make sure I don’t die of hypothermia. Come closer. And don’t stand so close to the railing.”
“We’re nearly two meters away from it,” he pointed out, but still followed your request and stepped forward. You took the opportunity to shove your hands into his coat pockets for even a momentary bit of warmth. His coat smelled like rain, and your nose accidentally brushed against it. Your hands touched his in one of the pockets.
“Jesus, it’s like touching an ice cube,” he muttered.
“You still have feeling in your hands?”
“Still do, but I’m afraid it’s only a matter of time,” he replied.
“They’ll freeze and have to be amputated. We’ll be the only two handless FBI agents. Hotch will never send us on an assignment together again,” you joked.
He chuckled softly and shifted the umbrella to his other hand once again. For a moment, you both stood in silence—him staring at the river flowing beneath the bridge, and you gazing toward the direction where you hoped your rescue would arrive.
“Can I ask you a question?” he broke the silence, looking down at you.
You were standing so close, your hands buried in his coat pockets, that you had to tilt your head back significantly to meet his gaze.
“Sure, go ahead.”
“Are you afraid of water?”
You stared at his face, taken aback by the question. His wet hair was plastered to his forehead, and for some inexplicable reason, you felt a sudden urge to push it back.
“Why do you ask?”
He shrugged.
“It’s just something I noticed today—though, of course, there’s a possibility I’m wrong. But we’ve been standing on this bridge for twenty minutes, and you haven’t looked down once. And you keep telling me to step away from the railing.”
“I’m just looking out for your safety, klutz,” you teased, lowering your gaze. He wasn’t wrong about the water, and it surprised you that he had even picked up on it.
“When I was six, I almost drowned in frigid water,” you admitted, the words spilling out before you could stop them.
Spencer’s brows furrowed with concern.
“At least, that’s what I’ve been told,” you added before he could say anything. “Apparently, my dad took me and my sisters to a lake to go ice skating. He used to go there as a kid with his siblings, and the ice was always thick enough that no one even considered it might break. But that was twenty years earlier. He didn’t account for climate change. The ice cracked right beneath me.”
“God,” he sighed. “You know… maybe it’s for the better that you don’t remember it. At least not exactly.”
“Maybe. Apparently, I spent the next two weeks in the hospital with pneumonia, but I don’t have a single memory of that. Still, it doesn’t change the fact that I shudder at the mere sound of water.”
“Your body must remember what your mind suppressed. But wait, didn’t you have to pass a swimming test to get into the FBI?”
“I did. But it was in a pool, where the water was calm and not trying to kill me. Hey, do you see that car? Isn’t that for us?”
After a few hours, you began to appreciate living in a state where winters were mild. Your hands were even colder than they had been that time on the bridge, despite wearing leather gloves. The hood over your head muffled the sounds around you so much that the first time Hotch called your name, you didn’t even hear him. You only approached him when you noticed him waving in your direction.
Something in his expression made you quicken your pace.
“We have the unsub’s identity,” he said before you could open your mouth to ask what had happened.
The rest of the team had already gathered. Reid’s cheeks were red from the cold, and he wasn’t wearing his glasses. He wasn’t looking at you, so you avoided looking at him.
“What?” you blurted, surprised. “How?”
“He abducted another victim, but this time he wasn’t as careful, and one of the cameras caught him. Using the footage, Penelope tracked down his information. She also found out that he came from a very poor family, and his sister turned to prostitution at the age of fourteen to support both of them.”
“I don’t understand. Then why does he kill young girls, just like his sister, who sacrificed herself for their survival?” Elle asked, suddenly appearing behind you.
Her question echoed in your mind.
“He thinks that by drowning them in freezing water, he cleanses them of the sin of prostitution—a sin he believes was unjustly forced upon them because of poverty,” you said suddenly, the chill biting into your body far more sharply than before.
“The unsub might even think he’s doing them a favor,” Reid added, animated, picking up your line of thought. “That he’s their savior, granting them a departure free of that sin.”
His eyes met yours, a flicker of admiration glinting in them. But then, as if reminded of everything, he quickly looked away. You felt like sighing. So this is how every single one of your interactions was going to look from now on?
“We need to catch him before he drowns another victim. We don’t have much time; it’s getting dark,” Hotch issued commands quickly. “Gideon, me, JJ, and Elle will head to one lake, Morgan, Y/N, and…”
“I should go with you,” Reid interrupted. “Elle can go with Morgan, and…”
“This is not up for discussion,” Hotch replied in a firm tone, a flicker of surprise crossing not just his face but everyone’s. When it came to time, his decisions were final. You all knew that. "Go," He commanded, his voice leaving no room for argument.
Before you knew it, you were in the speeding car. The tension and sense of mission always left you silent, focused, and most of all, determined.
“He’s here. Do you see him? He’s dragging her toward the hole in the ice!”
Throughout all of it, not once did it cross your mind—the obvious fact that you’d have to set foot on the frozen lake. Before you even had a chance to react or fully realize it, Reid unexpectedly grabbed your sleeve, pulling you toward him. He seemed surprised by his own action, his eyes darting with adrenaline across your face.
“The ice won’t break, do you understand?” he said, not letting go of your arm. “It’s thick enough that cars can drive on it. “It’s safe, trust me. And if you feel like you can’t do it, just stay behind,”
His voice was surprisingly steady, offering a sense of comfort that you hadn’t expected. You listened, almost stunned, not just by the care in his advice, but also by the fact that he was even speaking to you at all.
You didn’t have time to respond or even nod; the car came to a stop, and every second counted. Somewhere deep inside, though, you felt a surge of gratitude for his gesture and words. Because as soon as you set foot on the ice, it was as though your senses vanished. All that mattered was the water—cold, sinister, and waiting for you deep beneath the blue surface.
Morgan and Reid moved ahead of you, with the latter turning his head over his shoulder. You saw it, even as the darkness quickly closed in around you.
“If you feel like you can’t do it, just stay behind,” echoed in your mind.
But you couldn’t just stand there and watch while the victim’s life was hanging by a thread. Focusing entirely on his words and voice, you moved forward, gripping your weapon tightly, yet with a steady hand.
And it was your shot, fired in a moment of desperate resolve, that brought the unsub down, giving Morgan the chance to catch the unconscious victim in his arms and rush her to the shore as quickly as possible.
You stood there, breathless, still holding the gun high, completely unaware of it until someone gently touched your hands, guiding them downward.
“It’s me,” Reid said quietly as you flinched. Only then did it start to sink in that you were standing on the ice. Your imagination began to feed you the feeling of the bone-chilling cold, the water pressing against your body with all its might. After all these years, still so vivid. You grabbed onto his arms tightly, your legs suddenly slipping beneath you. Why hadn’t they slipped before?
“Hey, careful. The ice is thick, remember? It won’t break,” he reassured you.
He held you tightly, offering you support as you both made your way to the shore, taking small, uncertain steps. You could barely breathe, let alone speak. Yet, a question loomed in your mind, one you were desperate to ask: why was he even still with you? Why hadn’t he just left you there, maybe for some internal satisfaction?
Finally, you were on solid ground, no longer gripped by panic. Still, your breath was rapid, every cell in your body shaking in spasms, but not in that teasing, playful way it had when you played the role of the bolter.
“Why did you do it?” you asked, still holding onto him like a lifeline. “I thought you were mad at me.”
Before answering, Reid studied you in silence for a moment.
“I could be furious with you, but I wouldn’t leave you there, alone and scared,” he said.
You opened your mouth, a warmth spreading across your chest, something that felt almost like a comforting embrace. But before you could say anything, the rest of the team reached you, with Elle hanging onto your shoulder, her voice full of concern as she asked how you were feeling.
In the darkness and the flood of emotions, his face blurred, along with the faces of the others. You closed your eyes for a moment, surrendering completely.
It was only then that you began to calm down, though it would take many hours before your hands stopped shaking.
*
You nervously paced around the office, two pairs of eyes watching you with clear amusement.
"Do you think he called me in because of that whole tie incident?" you asked, nervously biting one of your nails. "Shit, it’s definitely about that. It was so inappropriate, he’s probably going to fire me."
"Calm down," Derek said to you, the corner of his mouth constantly rising and falling. "First of all, if Hotch were going to fire you for every dumb thing that comes out of your mouth, you'd be gone after a week. Second of all, it probably has nothing to do with that. Knowing you, it’s probably some overdue paperwork..."
"You’re not helping," you said, raising a warning finger.
Elle’s laugh mixed with her yawn.
"God, I’m exhausted from this day. I’m out of here. Call me later and let me know what this was all about," she kissed your cheek as a farewell.
You briefly hugged her with one arm.
"Keep your fingers crossed," you asked them as they walked away.
Both of them raised their hands, making the gesture.
It was evening, and you had just returned to the office after closing the case. You had hoped to head home and sleep off all the emotions from the day, but then you found out that Hotch had called for you. And you had no idea why.
Before opening the door with his name on it, you crossed yourself in your mind.
"Listen, Hotch, about that tie, it was really just some messing around," you blurted out, before even fully stepping inside.
The man sitting at his desk raised an eyebrow. He wasn’t alone—across from him, in a chair, looking like a student called to the principal’s office for punishment, sat Spencer, looking just as confused as you felt.
"Did you want to see me now? Or did I mix up the time or the days...?"
"I wanted to see both of you," he replied, pointing to one of the two chairs next to Reid.
You exchanged a brief glance with your colleague. Since your last interaction on the frozen lake, neither of you had spoken a word, but the atmosphere wasn’t as tense as before. That didn’t, of course, mean that everything between you was back to normal.
"Listen, I’m just as exhausted as you, but I need to have this conversation with you now so we can resolve it as quickly as possible."
You shook your head in confusion.
"Resolve what?" Reid asked.
"Whatever happened between you two," Hotch started seriously, his gaze moving between your faces. "Any argument, I don’t care what it was about or how serious it is, it cannot affect your work or professional relationship in any way."
You couldn’t help it and let out a laugh. You imagined Elle’s expression on the other end of the phone when you’d tell her the real reason behind this summons…
"Hotch, there was no argument," you assured him, maybe not entirely honestly, but in an attempt to wrap up this somewhat, let's be honest, embarrassing conversation as quickly as possible.
Spencer nodded enthusiastically.
"Absolutely none. Never."
"I'm not blind or, as you’re both well aware, stupid," Hotch continued, his gaze shifting between you both. "I can see what's going on, and I’m telling you now—I don’t want any conflict in my team."
You let out a snort.
"So what are you going to do?" you asked challengingly. "Force us to shake hands and make up? If we do that now, can we finally go home?"
He met your gaze, his expression as stoic as ever, but you were certain—absolutely certain—that deep down, he was amused by it all. To your surprise, he suddenly stood up from his desk.
"No, I'm going to do something more effective," he declared. "I'm leaving you two alone for ten minutes. No one leaves this office. When I come back, everything needs to be settled. Understood?"
"Isn’t this some sort of elementary school method of discipline?" Spencer asked, raising his eyebrows, but out of the corner of your eye, you saw that beneath his amused expression, there was also a hint of concern.
"Exactly how it sounds," you agreed, briefly meeting his gaze before shifting it to your boss with a pleading look. "You're not our father, Hotch. We're adults, stop treating us like children..."
His hand landed on the doorknob without a moment’s hesitation.
"Then stop acting like children and talk to each other," he said, glancing at his watch. "I’ll be back in ten minutes."
You could’ve sworn there was a subtle smile playing on his face as he left.
You watched his figure disappear in disbelief.
And then, you turned to Spencer, who was already staring at you.
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds smut#spencer reid criminal minds#bau team#doctor spencer reid#criminal minds fanfiction#dr spencer reid#criminal mind#dr reid#spencer reid smut#aaron hotchner#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you
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I’ve literally never considered using a blow dryer up until this point in my life. Like I get it now.
#they’re taking my picture for work tmr and literally hundreds of not thousands of ppl will be seeing my photo on this website#and my hair. cannot dry weird tonight. normally I would not care but god. there is no redos on the photos 😭 I am so. yeah.#like I pick all my outfits the day before now ig but it’s also like. I had to think REALLY hard abt it. bc I couldn’t wear the original fit#that I was planning on wearing tmr. so rip me. but it’s fine I’m not obsessing (< is obsessing)#so I’m sitting in front of my fan and fanning my hair out w my fingers. so it dries right.#when I should be sleeping instead lol lmao it’s fine#roxy talks
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guilt tripping- o.piastri
summary: oscar asks something of you that you know you can't do. you do it anyway and it ends in you two almost breaking up. almost.
pairing: oscar piastri x fem! chronic illness! reader
a/n: hey yall, I just broke two ribs (lol) and got diagnosed with a chronic illness (lmao) so I might not be posting as frequently- just dealing with it physically and mentally so yah 😹
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“I don’t know if I can go,” you sighed, feeling even worse.
“That’s alright,” he assured you, but you could hear the way his excitement depleted and his mood lowered.
“M-maybe I can work something out, I don’t want to leave you alone,” your guilt grew everyday, this wasn’t healthy for either of you.
“I don’t want you over-exerting yourself,” he spoke softly into the phone. “I’ll just ask mum if she has any friends that want to go or something. She always brings a million people with her.”
“I don’t want to leave you hanging Oscar. Melbourne is a big race. I’d be happy to come over like a week before, and then come to the race once I’ve had a few days to heal,” you bargained. A 22 hour connecting flight was not something you’d ever wanted to do. You couldn’t do it. You knew the pain would be too bad, yet you still stood there, offering it anyway. “And then I’d come for the race on Sunday, or just small bits on all the days.”
“Really?” his voice picked up, excited now. “You’re sure?”
“I’m sure Osc, I love seeing you race,” your smile was more of a grimace than anything, but still, the guilt in your chest lessened as you listened to Oscar speak animatedly about the race weekend, while your anxiety ran through the roof. You couldn’t do all the things he wanted you to do, you never could. This had been a problem at the beginning of your relationship, every time he’d plan a date that wasn’t dinner or a movie, you’d have to break the news that a 15 kilometre hike wasn’t something you’d be able to do on a whim. Things like that took planning, physio, and preparation. Your chronic illness was no joke, and had limited you since you were a teenager. In the past few years he’d gotten much better at everything, from helping you with your physio exercises, attending pilates classes with you, knowing what to do on bad pain days, and always looking out for you in public. You knew he was just getting away with himself, and you didn't want to disappoint, so you agreed to it all, hoping against hope that it wouldn’t be a bad week of pain or flare-ups wise.
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You got into Melbourne and sobbed when you got in the car. Thankfully, it was Hattie picking you up, so she just held your hand as you silently cried, the joint and too much to bear. You went straight to bed as Hattie explained to the rest of the house that you were exhausted, and Oscar took it at face value. You usually get extremely tired after long days, and you’d just had a 22-hour day of travel.
“I’ll go check on her-” he started, desperate to see you but Hattie cut him off.
“NO!” she squeaked, trying to not sound suspicious. Oscar raised an eyebrow. “She’s really tired and she’s already gone to sleep.”
“Yeah, well I’m tired so I’m going to bed,” he explained, stretching then yawning.
“Osc,” Hattie sighed, knowing she had to tell him. “She’s not… alright. She can’t do 22 hour travel days like you or I can. She has Lupus and she’s still trying to figure out her medication, so it hurts all the time. She cried from the airport to here, all to support you because you asked her to, and she feels guilty every single time she can’t say yes. She’s done real damage to herself by coming here. I want you to understand that, do you understand that?”
Oscar nodded, because the other option was breaking down into tears. Yes, he’d felt guilty that he couldn’t be there to take care of you while travelling, and he knew he was asking a lot of you when he asked. The guilt settled deep in his stomach and made him nauseous, but still he continued on to his bedroom where you were sleeping peacefully. He could see the puffy eyes, the red nose, the open bottles of medication on the nightstand. He wrapped an arm around your waist, another in your hair and pulled you as close as possible, whispering teary sorrys into your ear.
When you woke up the next morning, you knew what you had to do. This wasn’t fair on either of you, and you needed to make a change. You quickly (but silently) got up, and started to leave the room, but Oscar grabbed ahold of your hand before you could leave.
“Please don’t sneak out on me,” he begged, sitting up. He looked wrecked, puffy eyes, red rose- had he been crying? God, had you made him cry?
“Osc, what’s wrong?” you asked, concern clear as day on your face as you cupped his face with your hands.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I knew I was asking too much when I asked you to come here, I’m so sorry.”
Your heart tightened in your chest. “Osc, I’m alright, I was just tired last night and-”
“Hattie told me,” his voice was deep, deeper than usual, and he pressed a gentle kiss to your hand. “And I’m so sorry.”
“Osc, I could’ve said no if I didn’t think I was able for it,” you tried to reassure him but he shook his head.
“Y/n, you did say no and I didn’t take it as an answer,” he scoffed.
You were stunned into silence. “I think we need to have a talk about us, Osc.”
He nodded, taking your hands in his.
“This isn’t fair on you. I know I can't control my illness, and neither can you. It sucks, but it’s a fact. I wish I could be there for every single race and cheer you on with the other girls, but I can’t. It’s not in the cards for me right now, and I don’t know when it will be. Oscar, I love you so much, and you’ve been with me through everything and I know you deserve someone who can always be there for you, and I’m not that person right now. I love you but I know it’s not enough,” You finally looked at him and he was biting his lip as tears streamed down his cheeks. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head and stood up, dropping your hands as he paced his bedroom. “You know how much I love you, don’t you?” he asked and you nodded as you held back more tears. “So you know that I still feel your support even when we’re in different time zones or on different continents, right? You know that I value you being in as little pain as possible more than being at the barricade after a race, right? You know that I fucking love you more than I love racing, right? Y/n, I’ve been here the entire time, since we were 14 years old. You’re the reason I get in the car, you make me better, all the time it’s just you. I plan on being with you for my whole life, Y/n. I want to be there for everything. I plan to sit there through every appointment about medication until you find the one that actually helps you, I plan on being there for every day where you don’t feel up to it, I plan on being there for you, always. I never want to let go of you, and yeah, it is nice to be able to see you after a race, and I know that because fucking facetime exists. If you still want to break up because I fucked up by asking you to come here, go ahead, but don’t ever think that I’m without because I’m with you. I am so in love with you, Y/n. I mean it. I want to marry you one day, I want a family with you, I want to be old with you so we get to reminisce on the good ol’ days and make some more while we have time. ‘The good ol’ days’ will be the days I spend with you. More than any race win, more than any trophy, or than anything. My favourite part about a race weekend is coming home because I know no matter what my result was, you’ll be there with open arms, loving me anyways. You’re more than enough for me.”
You crossed the room and wrapped your arms around him, crying into his hoodie as he held you. “I love you too.”
After a few moments of both of you calming down, he finally spoke. “Can you forgive me for being such an asshole?” he asked, wiping his eyes.
You nodded, a small smile on your face. “I can, can you forgive me for being such an idiot?”
He chuckled. “You’re no idiot,” he picked you up and gently placed you back on the bed lying beside you. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula one imagine#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x you#formula one x reader#formula 1#formula one#mclaren#oscar piastri x fem!reader#f1 fluff#x reader#female reader#x reader insert#reader insert#x reader fic#x reader fluff#x reader fanfiction#fem reader#gn reader#f1#f1 smau#f1 imagines#f1 x you#requests#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction
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