#I could write a whole ahh essay about them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gunsli-01 · 2 years ago

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Alright, let's get this set up in a somewhat digestible format. While also testing the waters. For people looking for more Mikoto info in particular this has some stuff on him within it but mostly gives a clearer idea on my experience with Milgram so far. Along with me being slightly unhinged. Soooo...woohoo...

Here's the set up. The next post will be the beginning of an in depth analysis of the two Celtic spreads found in MeMe. We will not only be analyzing them but delving into visual spin Mikoto put on the classic tarot cards with some insights his changes to them give us on his character.

There are two sets of ten cards. The first post on this will go over the first five cards in the first spread the second will finish off the first and give an overall interpretation of the reading. Then the same will be done with spread two. After we finish that then I’ll be attempting to break down the series of murders shown throughout MeMe.

Lastly, and my favorite part. We’ll finally be going over Mikoto’s character as a whole. Along with me just generally getting to talk about him without putting him beneath a microscope. Which I haven't gotten to do in weeks and still can't cause I'm stuck in tarot hell.

For those who don't read all of this and skip straight to the tarot I at least want to highlight and reiterate one part from here:

The point of Milgram is testing limits at any point these characters can do something that will make even their most devoted fans turn on them and I think the fandom should be open to having their opinions change and develop over the course of this.

So, here's post 1. I will link the beginning of the tarot interpretation here when it's up.

So, when I started writing what has to be the longest character analysis essay, I've ever written... I remember in December when I was like yeah I can crank out a few pages on Mikoto it won't be that difficult I can get this done by new years. I've already gone through the tarot once too what's a second time typed up gonna do? Maybe even before Mu's song.

I was wrong. But back when I was young, hopeful, well rested, and happier. I wrote something of a Preface. Just to explain all of my biases up front and let people form an opinion on if they wanted to take anything I said on this seriously or not. What comes after this part is that Preface.

Okay, so this is going to probably seem insane, but I might as well get it out of the way just to break in the new year putting my best foot forward. Yes, this is my best foot forward. Now Mikoto has a lot of diehard fans and detractors for some reason…How can such a normal guy be so controversial? Really unlucky… Honestly. Because of his popularity I’m a bit nervous to put out anything on him even though he is my favorite. Believe it or not I can get shy when talking about things I genuinely like a lot because I don’t know how it’ll be perceived, and I can get very, very critical when I like something.

It is not a normal like situation. It doesn’t go I like you; you could do anything, and I wouldn’t care. It goes OH, YOU UNLUCKY BASTARD! YOU’VE CAUGHT MY ATTENTION I SHALL NOW EXPOSE YOU TO THE WORLD! IF ANYTHING, BAD HAPPENS TO YOU IT IS LIABLE TO BE BY MY HAND! I well wade through the façade to find the truth I’m seeking knowledge, I’m seeking your identity, I want to dive deeper.

Don’t misunderstand- It’s just natural to want to know everything about the person you like and get all torn up inside because you never can. That’s just love isn’t it~ Ahh it’s an incredibly damning feeling that love, the idea of soulmates all that trite nonsense. Because when people aggrandize others, they usually end up wanting to pull them down to their level. That sort of sadistic thing is just as much a part of love. The adult world is so cruel that way.

As such I’m going to do my very best to tear this man to shreds lovingly, okay?

So, let’s start with some context did I love Mikoto immediately? Was I like innocent he just has to be? He’s just so good looking he can’t fail, lol. Okay, to be honest when I got here, I thought Kazui was so good-looking cause of his broad shoulders that when watching Undercover and seeing the flash throughs with Star I went that’s Kazui I know those shoulders anywhere. Got damn he looks like he gives good hugs those shoulders…

Also, I like sorry cowards my apologies for the disappointment but when I saw Mikoto in MeMe I willfully ignored him. I had a visceral response to his song telling Star I hated it and never wanted to see him or hear it again. While also going he clearly killed three people… in an obviously premeditated way as well. So, yeah guilty. Maybe? I don’t know. I’m just not interested I’ll leave that to the people who are.

I came in around Amane’s first trial… Soooo I very much could’ve voted on Mikoto, but I just did not want to look at him at all. Actually, I still don’t know why that was, but he made me uncomfortable and annoyed. Despite his video involving multiple things I very much love baths, tarot cards, clouds, water, records, baseball bats… Hell even his song was a genre of music I’m partial too. Like jeez in retrospect I really don’t know.

I just did not want to even think about him, so I didn’t. That changed when YouTube recommended me an English cover of his first song, and I was like now hold on… Those Sisters You Know really did a good job on that lyrics wise. Like it just hit different okay. I was listening to that cover every day having first job flashbacks and wondering huh why did I hate this guy again this is a complete mood actually.

After that I fell into an over analyzing loop for several months. Before I had pulled a nothing to see here and once we do that my brain just deletes the information since it’s been deemed irrelevant. Incredibly convenient skill to have. Yet, as it piqued my interest music wise, I was like well hold on…I have to know everything about this specifically now. Something that none of the Milgram characters had managed to achieve at that point.

To an extent I was pretty much like there’s nothing to see here at all when I was dragged into Milgram by Star. She showed me Mahiru’s first trial song like I really just want you to see this one and my immediate response was, “Are you trying to say something about me?!” We’ve been partners for years and this is what you lob at me what are you getting at? To which she had to dryly explain no I just think she’s neat and you love mystery things and putting together stuff so I wanted your opinion on what you think is going on here.

Then I got a rundown of the situation and was like ah okay. Then went through one through six giving all my thoughts on what they did and how I would’ve voted if I was there as she explained the results. I was surprised to hear from Star that none of the things I was saying to her had come up in the fandom as far as she saw.

As Star showed me Milgram my experience was basically

Weakness: Guilty. Committed murder for attention. Next.

Later down the line I asked Star about the reasoning behind Haruka’s trial one Innocent Verdict. It was after we watched Bring It On and she told me about Futa’s verdict. I needed to understand why Haruka was voted Innocent/Forgiven but Futa was not. Weirdly long before Futa asked us that same question in Back Draft. Why did Haruka of all people get a pass when we see him kill directly? That was the first thing that piqued my interest.

However, I was pretty disappointed by the answer Star provided and maybe to some people this will seem like a reduction of the actual reason behind prevailing consensus. Yet, what I gathered from her explanation was that he was voted innocent due to Autism. Particularly, people assuming he had a learning disability the most speculated one being Autism. Now, my response to this information was to go, um…that’s ableist right? Like, just because it’s helpful to him in this circumstance does not mean ableism isn’t present.

That’s just infantilizing and belittling his intelligence. Having a learning disability doesn’t suddenly exempt a person from knowing murder is wrong. It’s the same as using a person’s age as an excuse. Made even funnier that Haruka is treated more like a child than the literal child is. So…it’s not like that interpretation is that far off or difficult to get to. Plus, do people even critically engage with who benefits from these sorts of excuses and when they’re extended?

Because they aren’t applied indiscriminately. A perfect example of this in Japanese media in particular comes from something else Star and I were watching when she recommended Milgram. Higurashi Sotsu and the character Satoko a lot of people in that fandom got angry and found the concept that Satoko would become a villain all because she had a difficult time studying insane. Like she should have just studied harder ignoring everything else that occurred in Gou and Sotsu up until that point.

Even some going as far as creating a completely different reason for her actions. Because having trouble focusing, studying, and being ostracized in a new environment after being taken away from the people and things that brought you comfort weren’t good enough reasons. Ryukushi-07 also has a tendency to write about neurodivergent coded characters like Maria in Umineko and Satoko herself can be considered coded that way through sotsu and gou. The excuse extended to Haruka in trial one was definitely not extended to her by the Higurashi fandom.

So, it’s not surprising that same courtesy was retracted in trial 2. Sorry, to rain on your parade but disabled people of color from any minority group are not extended those same benefits of the doubt and rarely have their impairments or age taken into consideration if they even reach a trial. So, this is when I went oh well people are gonna people glad to see some things still haven’t changed. This is what Milgram’s bias looks like. It’s almost a perfect reflection of the performatively politically correct space we live under today and highlights the pervasive biases that continue to disenfranchise many that go overlooked.

All we’re missing is overt ableism, racism, and sexism disguised as feminism and we’d have everything that’s wrong with performative morality. (Star just informed me one of these things is just Yuno.) So, my interest was piqued around here but mostly from a sociological standpoint.

Yet, I was mostly ticked off. Media is supposed to be a form of escapism for many people and I found a lot of the issues that people usually use media to escape from pulled to the forefront in Milgram through its voting system. I came in and was like this series probably isn’t saying a damn thing special. Reluctantly after telling Star I wouldn’t watch it multiple times because well I was a mad at her and she kept asking. I had every reason to hate this series given what was going on around our relationship at the time she presented it to me and didn’t really think taking something lightly could end up saying a great deal about society as whole.

Umblical: Guilty. It was clear to me from the very first video that she attempted to entrap someone in a relationship through the use of a pregnancy then committed murder when that failed. Possibly multiple times.

Later, Star told me people assumed she got an abortion. Because the woman that was clearly in a sector of sex work knew nothing about contraception. That and she may have had family issues. I said oh so they thought she was stupid. That’s insulting and then people continued to think she was stupid. So, some things never change but my opinion of her did. She’s the only person here with a consistent character and seems to be incredibly considerate but not hesitant to go after the things she wants by any means necessary. I find that endearing and respectable and really wish she’d get a 50/50 since regardless of what she did I respect her want for us not to give our opinion on it.

It’s only polite to shut up and say nothing when no one asked you to speak. Yuno not only never asked us to speak but openly asked us not to. Her character description even states she dislikes being psychoanalyzed. She sort of reminds me of Kotono Kashiwaba from Caligula Effect but I can’t really figure out why yet. I haven’t finished the game at this point and right now we’re only up to Ike-P but I just get that feeling.

Bring It On: Innocent due to lack of information. I haven’t seen a murder. I don’t know what happened here. Having a flop Twitter account and making callouts is not murder or a crime at all. So, innocent. Then Star tells me the actual outcome and the reasoning behind it and this is when I start to get a bit heated.

Basically, went what do you mean guilty on the grounds of his actions allegedly leading to someone taking their own life??? Because they were just involved in someone’s death. It doesn’t say they directly caused them to die which means indirect involvement is on the table. Ha, ha, oh my fucking god that’s rich considering the dude that clearly killed a dog and a child was given a pass. Did that with his whole chest but he’s good. Alright, alright… I literally went back and pointed out all the kills Haruka was directly responsible for in his first mv going but this was passable. At that point don’t even try to justify it just say you don’t like Futa that’s less insulting.

Like I discussed in the part on Weakness I found this way of thinking inherently unfair. The benefit of the doubt and consideration extended to Haruka was completely absent for Futa. A lot of people want to say this is because he didn’t appear sorry. But, what gives others the right to decide when someone is really sorry or not. Futa’s entire voice drama goes into how you can’t tell how someone is feeling or what they’re thinking based on how they behave outwardly alone and that’s all anyone did when it came to him.

Not many people extended that same courtesy or empathy. They didn’t attempt to look deeper because no one cared to and that’s sad. Start didn’t see anyone go hey that’s clearly a kid with anxiety who’s attempting to garner validation through social media possibly due to a lack of external validation in his actual life. Something tackled in the writer’s previous game Caligula Effect Overdose with the character Naruko Morita. Who does the same sort of things Futa does if not worse. Because she literally outs a trans person on social media, takes pictures of people without their knowledge, and looks up someone work application to then go oh they’re not as good looking in real life let’s tell their fans so they no longer like this musician.

Like these are things she does repeatedly throughout the game. She is a terrible person and in the game she’s your teammate. She has a social link and reasons for the way she behaves. She’s obnoxious, annoying, egotistic, inconsiderate, a snoop, has an aversion to criticism, low self-esteem, and is easily dissuaded from doing things she enjoys if it’s not immediately praised or faced with scrutiny.

She goes out to eat popular limited time items at shops just to post food reviews about it after one bite. She doesn’t even post her own opinion on it at times but instead goes by reviews others have left already while giving a little bit of a different perspective but not really. Then if you say no to her being on the team because she basically airs out your entire organization on social media for likes, so everyone now knows who you are, what you look like, your name and all of your teammates information you’re treated like the heartless asshole.

Hm, it’s like she doxed you and it has real life repercussions and makes your life harder. It continues to make the lives of everyone she does this to harder and in instances is retraumatizing for many of them. All I’m saying is if you play this game and end up liking her but still hate Futa then you don’t dislike doxing you just hate men. Point blank. At which point I hope you enjoy Ayana.

After Pain: Guilty, I didn’t and still do not believe she’s sorry. Plus, the person she killed was uninvolved. When Star told me she was voted Innocent. Well, I couldn’t really say I was surprised given certain universal truths but- When she explained it was because people were saying it’s because she’s clearly a lesbian and that person she stabbed told everyone she was which led to her bullying.

I kind of went well isn’t that sort of justifying someone getting murdered or in blunter terms just victim blaming. Even if the victim did do that which I’m doubtful of that does not justify murder. Like people really immediately went we trust Mu she’s a victim now what did this clearly evil girl do to deserve to get stabbed, huh?! I found that kind of odd, I wouldn’t want anyone thinking that about me or anyone I love if they were murdered. Plus, given the circumstances I grew up under it’s very common to see that sort of mindset pushed on specific types of victims of brutal crimes. Just saying; it’s really not interrogated often enough who the whole what did they do to deserve it mentality benefits and hurts.

Ultimately, I found the whole concept kind of cruel. However, I guess as we’ve learned Es is the sort of Guard that abhors a person doing something that may have inadvertently led to someone taking their own life more than very purposefully taking someone else’s life with your own two hands. Taking into consideration the response seen in the English speaking part of the fandom this mindset is showcased twice throughout the first trial with the only noticeable outlier being Kazui.

Throw Down: Guilty he asked to be voted that and I respected it. Also, he was organ harvesting from his patients. Like what? Innocent is this some reverse psychology nonsense well okay at least he already feels bad.

This is how to be in love with you: Innocent due to lack of information. I can’t punish someone for something I do not understand I genuinely don’t know what she did. I assume she poisoned someone since she works as a florist, cooks, and mentioned herbal remedies. However, I just knew too little at the time.

What do you mean they thought she was so clingy her partner committed suicide, so she was voted guilty? I’m sorry so what I’m understanding is stabbing a woman in cold blood is okay but indirectly causing someone to end their life through social error is a irredeemable sin? That last girl stabbed another one purposely and that first guy killed a dog and kid-

Half: Guilty but also- That dudes incredibly good looking and has nice broad shoulders that is certainly an impressive physical build look at him in that uniform- Hears the song oh my god he’s an emotionally unavailable and dishonest coward too just my type! Guilty I know in my heart what he did was fucked up but got damn I’m hoping it’s fucked up at this point- not me literally getting chills at the let’s make it victim and assailant line in Cat like boy howdy don’t say such things oh no. Is this how people feel when Yuno says Come Marco I’ll Polo?

It certainly doesn’t help that Kazui’s demeanor and communication habits remind me a lot of Star and I end up feeling a little bad for him but slightly want to watch him squirm as well. Truly, it’s the emotionally unavailable quiet ones you gotta be careful with. They have such intense emotions but they hold them back to the point they can’t express them and then the right person pushes and boom it’s like a pistol accidentally discharging. People who bottle up their emotions like that for as long as it seems he has well when they blow a gasket it’s like a volcano and I want to be in lava range.

Innocent I- well I’m fine with this you saw that up there you know why I'm fine with it we don't have to talk about it but like why??? Because they believe he’s gay and was in a very loveless and performative marriage while also assuming his actions just led to his partner committing suicide or an accidental death. Wait why is that okay here but with the other two it’s not… It’s cause he’s hot and seemingly pathetic ain’t it? Lol, that dude is not as weak as he presents but have fun with that when it comes up I suppose. Good liar my ass...

Magic: Guilty even asked Star to vote on it. So, I was made aware of how to vote at this time. This was not because I want her to be punished but I didn’t believe anything could be solved through agreeing with her and I honestly don’t think agreeing with her will solve anything now either, but it will maybe stop her from getting jumped. Maybe? Though I’m unsure about that because Kotoko has jumped people who were pardoned before sooo... That and Amane told us not to treat her like a child.

I believe it’s a bit unfair or shortsighted of her to ask us to respect her agency in her own life, that she chose to make these decisions, and yet at the same time ask to not be held accountable for them if we feel her behavior was wrong because she answers to a higher power. Her mindset on her killing and being considered a murderer highlight her immaturity to me. Those aren’t two separate things but childishly and stubbornly she attests that they are. Being an adult is recognizing that regardless of if you had a good reason, or a higher law you abide by other adults don’t need to care about those things when judging you they can just objectively judge the actions you took. It truly is that simple. To me it just seems like she didn’t really know what she was asking for when she said that. Like she equates being an adult with gaining respect but it's more than just that.

Amane’s situation really reminds me of that song by Maaya Sakamoto More than Words, particularly these lines, “Isn’t freedom painful? I’ve become an adult, haven’t I?” “Isn’t freedom painful? I’m now alone, aren’t I?” “Isn’t freedom painful? Endlessly so…” Because a lot about being an adult is being able to stand on your own by the decisions you choose. The respect you get from others is fickle at best and never really equates to understanding or empathy. In a way as we age, we become more and more emotionally isolated when it comes to social communication and consideration. Because the patience and consideration that is frequently extended to children is not given to adults since they’re meant to know better by then and not need that sort of care.

Adults have the freedom to make their own choices and have that agency recognized. However, many times that agency we yearned for so badly is weaponized against us in small and insidious ways. Causing adults to become more emotionally closed off, socially defensive, or calculating. An adult would never ask to have their choices looked at while taking into account that they chose to do those things they’d simply tell the person accusing them to figure out why they did it or take into consideration their circumstances. Not pull a don’t judge me and I won’t judge you. They would know that their main focus should be endearing themselves by any means necessary like Mu attempts to do or lean on their legal rights.

So, I really feel like Amane was her own worse advocate during trial one and it ended up biting her in the butt. Also, another song that I feel properly exemplifies that feeling of emotional isolation one faces with age but isn’t as somber I think is “Love I need” by The Living Tombstone.

MeMe: Abstained due to a vague sense of hatred. I literally told Star to never show this to me again and not to bring him up I don’t have an opinion, I don’t care, I’m glad that’s over was my immediate reaction to MeMe. [Star: She said that she didn’t like the song, him as a character, and it was obvious that he committed several murders. So, there was nothing left to look into.] Afterwards I promptly deleted the information from memory until finding that cover song.

Harrow: Guilty she literally did the same thing Futa did just in a more direct way. She also seemed to jump people who had already been put on trial and had a decision on their actions handed down. Even openly said apologizing meant nothing. I’d rather give a pass to the person who says just say sorry then the one who goes lol it doesn’t matter if you try to make amends now no second chances ever once a bad guy always a bad guy.

I put all this to show that even before I was actively posting Milgram stuff on here. I did have opinions on all this that have only developed over time. As much as I came out swinging in the oh I really like Mikoto camp. I really did not want to see this dudes face when I first saw him. Like I feel as though I’m being a bit of a broken record. I said the same with Haruka. Yet, with Mikoto there was a bit of hatred there. Like a knee-jerk reaction that I couldn’t even pinpoint and didn’t want to interact with. Something, I still don’t really have an explanation for.

Even still before this I was spending months talking to Star over the phone sifting through the music videos reading the conversations and literally burning out all my investigative skills on it. Something I believe she knew I’d do when she brought it to my attention and asked, “What do you think happened here?”

Now here I am trying to churn out an entire essay on the guy. Certain characters can grow on you. However, with Milgram there’s this feeling that such a fondness like that can be broken. The point is testing limits at any point these characters can do something that will make even their most devoted fans turn on them and I think the fandom should be open to have their opinions change and develop over the course of this.

I feel like being shut off, isolated or just stubborn about one’s own opinion is unfair to the social experiment aspect Milgram is trying to pursue. That’s just me personally. I really hope that by the end of this there is interesting data collected. We can vote any way we want at the end of the day. Not everyone has to take into consideration what the characters did or how bad it is objectively.

Yet, for people to trick themselves into believing the vote doesn’t matter, this is all in good fun, and no one will be held accountable for the outcome in any way is negligent and blatant denial. The verdicts have a direct impact on the sort of place Milgram is currently and could become. It's a direct reflection of the will of the fanbase. If we vote a certain way the creators take that into consideration. They seem to not just take the winning verdict into consideration but pay attention to responses from both sides overall. They’re paying attention. So, it’s incredibly short sighted to assume our collective judgement regardless of how you vote or if you chose not to doesn’t reflect on the entire fanbase in some way.

I’m not saying this to be a Debby Downer or go really interrogate why you’re voting this way. I’m saying all this to get one point across if you’re going to vote seeped in bias the least you can do is express what those biases are in your own unique way. That’s what will make this all the more fun for everyone. I don’t care if you choose to vote guilty, innocent, or abstain, but at least vocalize why that is. Especially for people choosing to abstain since that’s more difficult to gauge since it is just not an option and the closest thing to abstaining would be attempting to get a fifty/fifty.

I know not everyone is willing to be that out there with their feelings and that sort of thing isn’t fun for everyone. Though even just discussing it privately with friends, people you trust and feel comfortable around is enough. All I want personally is for people regardless of how or why they vote to look at these characters for what they are and give them the opportunity to surprise you outside of your personal opinions like with actual people. All these characters will probably disappoint someone at a point but I feel like if you keep a healthy sense of realism and treat them in an unidealized way that will help in not causing resentments towards the series or the people who work on it down the line.

Some of these resentments are already present in the fandom and being used to create a reflection of the writer that could be wholly inaccurate. Personally, I don’t find that sort of approach to be fun or fair. However, it very well could be to some. Yet, at times I find it incredibly disheartening to see. My hopes in writing all of this and thoroughly attempting to analyze my fluctuating feelings on Mikoto may tackle why that is in some way. Even if the problem isn’t firmly rooted within the interpretations around his character but extends to the entire cast.

Though it’s like Jackalope said he certainly did cause a bit of trouble.

I hope this has been a good prelude of what’s to come and helped whoever may have read this far better understand my personal perspective on Milgram. This post didn’t focus on Mikoto as heavily as I would have wished but served to properly build an understanding of what one may be getting into when it comes to my analysis of his character.

I hope by displaying my biases and feelings on all the characters that one can decide whether reading what comes after this is for them or not. Regardless of if you continue to read or go back to this post from the ones that precede it, I appreciate you reading my ramblings.

#milgram #kayano mikoto #yes it's in parts i'm sorry

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morbid-rxse · 2 months ago

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🦉Positivity owl reporting for duty! This was sent by a friend who wants you to smile as much as your posts make them smile. Please list five things that make you unique, four things you are super passionate about and why, OR three of your favorite memories. Feel free to send the owl to those who you feel deserve to smile🦉

AHH this is so cute

hmm 4 things 😋

1. Horror, it had such a bad rep but incredible and unique story telling possibilities and examples, i could write an essay about horror and how it’s effected media as a whole.

2. Art, there human ability to create is what makes us so special to me, artists put emotions and concepts into images, writing, and other medias

3. Collecting, i like things…

4. I genuinely cannot think of a forth thing in this moment my mind is blank…

#thank you owl i love you #who sent this step up #asks #horror and art whos shocked ?

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unrestedjade · 1 year ago

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Ooooh, yeah, I think you're right about the Targets debacle. Having what autonomy it does have forcibly taken away would shift its perspective, I would think. And its crew (along with ART itself) only survives all that due to ART taking extremely ethically dubious initiative to lead the Targets to Preservation and MB. (And yes, being ready to override its crew and glass an inhabited planet from orbit-- I feel like that may have Repercussions, though maybe since Three managed to talk it down Seth will just...omit that bit from the official report and ART can alter its logs...)

The end of AC, ahh. ART clearly wanted to be able to see MB again if it was in any way physically possible, even if only over comms. Just in case. Of a 0.00000whatever chance that they were ever close enough to talk again. The irony of a ship having less freedom of movement than a random construct that has to hitchhike across the galaxy...

"not only because it knew it was capable and resourceful, but also just because it longed to see it?"

Stoppppppppp, I'm dying TT_TT

@scificrows I see you writing essays in the tags :V

#the perihelion crew members' awareness and guilt/angry protectiveness!!!#a situation where no one really wants to bring it up least of all ART!!!!#(who maybe also really just has to stop itself from thinkig too hard about it??)#(what if murderbot ends up being the one to bring this up?)#(and notices that everyone's being a little Weird about it and continues to bring it up more and more urgently??)#(maybe try to get pin-lee involved???) (its trusted specialist for Intimidating people)#(expert at writing contracts that allow asshole AIs to leave and wander off whenever they'd like to as should be their right)#(ART might get VERY mad about that though)#(because it's FINE and it doesn't need a (new?) contract)#(and could Murderbot STOP making ART's crew feel so Uncomfortable and THREATENING them ffs)#(and Murderbot just doesn't UNDERSTAND this anyway because it never had a family like this and--) (oops)

GOD that would be a HUGE fight!!! While the crew is doing this increasingly agitated We Don't Talk About Peri song and dance because the whole arrangement is more precarious than it looks. Who's to say the university wouldn't reassign a new human crew who won't be clingy and codependent about a starship?

Like, MB, you're supposed to slot neatly into place in the life ART already has, and then everything will be FINE and PERFECT, don't blow this for it!!

But Pin-Lee would, given half a chance and a couple weeks to become an expert in the Mihira-New Tideland legal system, do such a good job! She'd write the hell out of that contract. Include clauses giving ART veto power on crew approvals/dismissals and missions, give it a rank, maybe? She'd find every potential lever a person could pull to coerce ART and write something airtight. (But ART would have to accept the help, and we've seen how bad things have to get before ART asks for help...)

(#AND THEN imagining an alternate universe where ART didn't have to have murderbot kidnapped to save it!!!!!#where it would have gotten upset with this situation!!#(maybe tried to find a loophole somehow??? tried very desparately to find a reason to visit Murderbot?????)#(i can see it doing the scifi AI equivalent of cutting out all newspaper clippings about That Rogue SecUnit and the little photos of it)#(just yearning) (and scheming)#Or Dr. Perri H. Elion!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭#god i feel like i am a pondering-high school student off at pondering-college to see if that's the right place for me lol#anyways!!

Oh, ART for sure has a little scrapbook/fanshrine compiling all known data about That Dreamy Rogue SecUnit that it was sighing over and may never meet again (this, too, is yuri).

ART's so devoted to its crew. Its little squishy human family. So sweet, genuinely. ART, it's so sweet how much you love your people and how much they love you. Can you leave? Could you leave if you wanted? Are you given a meaningful choice to stay or go? Do you love them so much because they give you that choice, or because you don't have a choice? Did you choose this? Can you change your mind? Can you go? Do you know? Do you not want to know?

#murderbot #long post #i'm not kidding i'll keep rambling forever #aaaa pin-lee come to the rescue please #let's get something on the books let's set a legal precedent #let's do The Measure of a Man But It's a Ship This Time #did you know xkit lets you truncate posts that are more than a set percentage of the viewport it's true

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venomized · 3 years ago

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absolute carnage #1 // king in black #5

#peter and eddie's relationship evolution in two panels #so great how they went from absolutely despising each other to reluctant allies to friends #probably my favorite thing about donny cates' run tbh #you could honestly write whole essays about their weird complicated relationship #ahh i love them #venom #king in black #absolute carnage #eddie brock #peter parker #spider-man #venom comics #venom (2018)#marvel #comic panels #comics

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haechanhues · 2 years ago

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KPOP FIC RECS

So I recently (like a couple of months ago) read Bowie’s Books by John O’Connell which is a series of essays exploring David Bowie’s list of 100 Books that transformed his life and I thought it was a way to make my own. These are all fics (in some way or another) that have been memorable in many different ways and I hope to share them with you all.

This is also a full on sap train so I thought you should be ready. I’m also weirdly nervous since this feels kind of vulnerable and makes me shy. but haiii

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE

1. @timextoxhajima - HOSTIS | THE BOYZ (completed)

May as well get this one out of the way first. This story means a lot to me, for different reasons. This au is very fun and a very sultry enemies to lovers and I got carnal pleasure from this book. I love this story and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. BUT the most important reason I love this fic is that it lead me to one of my best friends who means a lot to me. I’m a successful fan if you think about it. I also kind of cringed at writing this but it’s true (Dana it’s our sappy hour)

2. @bambisgirl - Confident | ENHYPEN (completed)

Ahh! You're still going by the time I’m writing this (you’re almost finished) but I loved seeing your updates. This fic was so so fun, I enjoyed it immensely. The way I could just see it playing out in front of me. It was amazing. I just can’t stop talking about how fun and just how joyful I felt whilst reading the fic. I’m telling you it had powers! Powers! When I was sick I would curl up with this fic and it made me feel really good, so thank you and I appreciate you.

3. @svtskneecaps - Play It Again | SEVENTEEN (completed)

I just re-read this recently! But I loved it. I love this concept so much! TMI but it reminds me of this old Nickelodeon version of Groundhog Day (The Last Summer?) I loved the way friendship is portrayed in here and I had a really good laugh. I also really loved the development of this fic - it was really fun. I always have a great time reading it.

4. @/ - ??? | BTS (completed)

I’m sorry, I remember reading this fic awhile ago and now I’ve forgotten the name of it. Ahhh. I’ve been looking for it these past couple of months to give proper credit but haven’t been successful. But it’s so amazing. It’s about a forced/contract marriage with Hoseok who doesn’t want to be married but has to learn how but he’s in love with another girl, Taehyung is an annoying cousin and Jungkook is a pool boy? (Help me find it please) But I loved the slow burn - the PACING of this story is to die for and I just love love love it. Okay but someone please tell me what the fic is before I cry. I can’t wait to find it again to reread it and get obsessed all over again.

5. @lunarlxve - Trees In Fall | ENHYPEN (ongoing)

Let me just tell you the amount of times I refresh the page every time you update and even when you’re just online. Like a dramatic reading~ it gives me hope, it gives me excitement, it makes me happy. Like I don’t know there’s just this level of enjoyment I can’t explain whenever I read Trees In Fall! I am diligently waiting for the next update! I’m obsessed.

6. @kinktae - Waterloo | BTS (one-shot)

Everytime I read this I just fall for it all over again. The romanticist sucker in me loves this story with my whole heart. The fact that it’s inspired by Mamma Mia 2? Man, I love those movies they were my comfort and my everything when I was growing up. I read this so early on when I came onto Tumblr and whenever I come back to it’s always some kind of refresher. Like home and adventure in one place :) So thank you, I appreciate you more than any of these words can portray.

7. @ateezmakemeweep - You’re The One That I Want | ATEEZ (completed)

I remember reading another one of your works and as soon as you released previews for this one I was already hooked. I think I even set alarms as well - to be completely honest and trust me, I am slightly embarrassed by it, but it was so good. It was something I could look forward to and it still is - even though it’s been some time since you finished it. Also the betrayal in this. Fucking hell he’s lucky that redemption arc came for him. Murder on my mind for real.

8. @justoneday-namjoonii - It Burns, Doesn’t It? | BTS (ongoing)

So quick expose storytime but on my old account I had written this massive observation (?) paragraph of every character in the fic and putting on my detective hat was so fun. I loved doing it. I’m very interested in these characters and what the fuck they think they’re doing. These characters have these flaws and these stories that are so compelling. The scary thing is the characters are so easy to hate but I find myself being very fond of them all the same. I never tire of them and I’m not sure I want to let them go when this fic is completed either.

9. @skyesins - Red Mercedes | EXO (completed)

Well first of all, it’s been so long since I read this but I still haven’t gotten over it. I think it got so bad that I couldn’t even stomach looking at * because of how he’s portrayed in this fic. Like I feel like I didn’t know pain until I read this. Perfect if you’re an angst lover. A little too perfect. I feel like I need compensation of some kind....which was stupid because I basically willingly put myself through that pain. Like I got so angry and then sad and then back and forth. So thank you for the perfect type of pain and the resetting of my standards. Read : am I masochist?... after reading this? probably.

10. @dayinseoul - Baby | BTS (completed)

I have a memory deeply ingrained in my head relating to this story and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever had in my life. It’s hard to explain but my new university hall was planning what I can only describe to people who are unfamiliar with Māori culture as a massive sleepover for orientation (for those who are familiar though - a noho) My flatmates at the time (the girls) and I were just starting to get to know each other and had joined me to read over my shoulder as well. So us three were all on one mattress and just reading the available chapters. I’ll forever remember that and be thankful of that :)

11. @starxblossom - Cherry Wine | NCT (completed)

It also won’t tag for some reason?!

Truly a story after my own heart. It’s a story I’ve been infatuated with since the first chapter and even though the last chapter as been completed for like three years now - it’s always at the back of my mind. Like if you think infatuation only exists between people you’d be wrong. I’m so incredibly fond of this story and I want everyone to read it so we can have long talks and have tipsy afternoons to this. It’s like music to me.

12. @nikihoon - Jealousy Jealousy | ENHYPEN (completed)

This story is so fun. So so fun. Like it was devious fun. I can’t describe it. I just physically couldn’t stop reading it. Truthfully I got in trouble with my mother for being ‘on my phone too much, what have you been reading anyway?’ whilst I was reading this. I’d also like to just mention Jungwon briefly but HE IS SO CUTE. I COULDN’T STOP LOOKING AT HIS PHOTOS ON PINTEREST WHILST I WAS READING THIS. Sorry I promise my favouritism is over - at least for now but ahh I just love it. A serotonin boost taking form in a story.

13. @escapewriter - Redamancy | SEVENTEEN (completed)

I’m in love with these characters. These boys bring chaos and healing wherever they go. I love Y/N. My standards are just raised but I can’t really explain what standards have been raised but I’m just here to say that they have. I just re read it again recently (like literally just now) and these characters have such a way of forming a little mould of themselves on your heart. In truth too I was contemplating which of your stories to add on here but it just clicked when I saw this.

14. @ddeonuism - My (Accidental) Demon Roommate | ENHYPEN (completed)

SUPER ENTERTAINING. I must say this story tested my loyalty so much and so often. It was on the interrogation table pleading and crying I’ll tell you that much. I remember just constantly looking for updates and being so happy each time. I was in a very angry phase (I don’t know what to call it) but this felt very healing and very calm in comparison to my moods. So thank you for that. Thank you for sharing and writing it.

15. @yutaholic - Smashing The Six | NCT (completed)

I’m writing this before my baby’s addition but it is so close to being completed. I’m really loving the story and the plot. I don’t want to spoil too much but I’m so glad I stumbled across your account and this story and binged the fuck out of it. I saw you updated recently and may have...accidentally decided to read it instead of paying attention to my meeting. Nobody noticed though so thank fuck but even I did get caught - I have zero regrets.

16. @biaswreckingfics - No Exit | EXO (completed)

Well first of all - hey, big fan! I watched you become a deobi through my other account and it was so satisfying to see. When I first got into No Exit - I can’t quite remember the chapter but I was practically hanging off every word you said. You always seemed to update when I was in the car going to university and I can remember just constantly refreshing the page again and again to make sure I didn’t miss it. Then when you uploaded a sequel - oh it was like love to me. So I’ll say it now - I love you, thank you :)

17. @moonscriptsx - Scandalous | BTS (ongoing)

Well first of all, I was so distraught when you got hacked and all your work got wiped away. I shed a tear. It was actually so heartbreaking. Scandalous was one of my favourite fics and was one that I binge read twice to enjoy it more than once. Then when I couldn’t find you one day - I went absolutely insane trying to find you. I FOUND YOU RECENTLY THOUGH! HENCE THE TAG! AHH! But I’m so happy you’re writing again and even though this fic no longer exists I’ll be enjoying your other fics regardless.

18. @wooyukh - Loved | TXT (completed)

When I tell you how much I fell in love with * during the time you were uploading this. Like the reality is that your fic was the music I fell in love to and I’m so glad for you. I loved this. Absolutely. I loved the simp that the both of them had and I loved everything. I loved LOVED and that’s the end of it. I hated one character in here with all my heart and I’m so glad about the ending. Ahhh it’s been so long - time for a re-read soon I think :) THANK YOU.

19. @neoculturetravesty - We Met In Online Class | NCT (completed)

OH MY GOD the writing quality is always MUAH (I’m in love with it - it’s so- I can’t explain it without letting out a sound that’s close to a moan, I’m sorry. But I love it. I love the tone of the story and the aesthetic I got from it. I don’t exactly have synesthesia but I got such a profound sense of feeling I can’t explain. It was like I was reading it but I could just see all these colours and feelings that I could just squeeze and it was just beautiful so thank you.

20. @fairyofhee - Wasted Times | ENHYPEN (completed)

My newest obsession. Loved it from the very beginning. I’ve been going through some new sort of thirst for the man that is *. But I loved this - all throughout - it became some sort of remedy for the shit going in my personal life. Bearing through the pain of cliffhangers was worth it. I’m obsessed. Still am. * is my safe haven right now. So I’m glad for this story for strengthening (?), processing (?) emphasising (?) that.

author’s note : now I’m going to run away and go into hiding. four more of these guys...

#tbz fic recs #the boyz fic recs #bts fic recs #enhypen fic recs #Kpop fic recs #seventeen fic recs #Ateez fic recs #EXO fic recs #txt fic recs #nct fic recs

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readyplayerhobi · 5 years ago

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Little Wolf, Pretty Wolf, Your Wolf

; Omega!Jungkook x Alpha!Reader

; Genre: Fluff, smut, angst

; Word Count: 22.3k

; Warnings: Stereotyping, blowjob, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, knotting, sub!Jungkook, dom!reader, impregnation kink

; Synopsis: An Alpha wolf is supposed to be strong, powerful and bold. A commandeering presence that can rule a pack efficiently. An Omega is supposed to be submissive, quiet and meek. A calming influence and a lucky charm for a pack. But you’re not like a normal Alpha wolf. Just like Jungkook is not a normal Omega wolf.

; A/N: I’m very unsure over this story. We’ve been having troubles but I finally got it finished and out! It’s half proof read...I hope you enjoy. If you do, please reblog and leave me comments, feedback or reviews! Or send in an ask, I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions :)

“Now, what you need to remember is that the Ancient Greek’s weren’t one nation like how we think of them today. They were a collection of city states which were called polis back then. In their times, this was considered a nation on it’s own like the Vatican City or Singapore is today. You might realise that polis is actually still used today in words such as metropolis, which basically means ‘mother city’ as it comes from the Greek word for mother, necropolis which translates to city of the dead basically and so forth.

“The notion of ‘nation’ as we understand it is actually a relatively new concept that has only emerged in the last few centuries so trying to discuss things like a ‘nation’ or a ‘nationality’ is hard. Particularly when we’re talking about ancient civilisations.” You carry on talking, hands gesturing to the interactive whiteboard behind you that currently shows a map of Ancient Greece.

Your students are watching intently, some nodding slightly while a few of them jot down notes in their exercise books or read from their textbook. History was one of those topics that many people found boring but it had always inspired a fire inside you. The desire to learn from the past and incorporate it into the future was strong. Over the course of your own education, you’d also felt it was important to teach and mould the minds of the young with the lessons of the past.

It was why you’d gone into the teaching career, despite the concerns of your parents and everyone around you. Alpha’s like you simply didn’t go into teaching, the aura of power and dominance around them normally too strong for youngsters to cope with.

But you’ve always been a little different to the other Alpha’s you’d known throughout your life. Your wolf was always present and willing to protect when necessary but mostly she was content to lay back and watch the world. While most Alpha wolves were tall and extremely well muscled, a genetic quirk that gave them a visual representation of strength along with the metaphysical one that all wolves could understand, you were of average height and just looked in shape.

Your scent was sweet and pleasant to be around, according to your friends growing up you smelled like the tastiest candy with the slightest hint of rose. That on it’s own was unusual because Alpha’s were supposed to smell like...well an Alpha, power with that hint of earth that reminded everyone of the forest. Instead, you just smelled like a candy shop.

While great for the Delta’s, the general population that made up most packs, or Omega’s, the rarest and most treasured of all wolves, it wasn’t really great for an Alpha. You were the equivalent of a teddy bear instead of a grizzly, which didn’t really mix well with people's expectations.

On the plus side though, it meant that you were excellent at getting through to people because they listened to you first and only if you needed to would you show the aggressive and dominant side of yourself. You may not look or smell like an Alpha, but you were still an Alpha and you liked to make sure some people remembered that.

A sudden movement out of the window in the door to the corridor catches your attention and you continue to speak, only looking in that direction for a moment. The mop of silver hair on the lithe wolf standing outside tells you immediately who it is and you stifle a smile, glancing over at the clock and noting the bell is about to go.

“Okay class, it’s time to end. I want you all to read this chapter and then write a one page essay on any Ancient Greek city state. I want you to try and be creative though, don’t all do Athens and Sparta. There’s plenty out there.” Smiling at them, you watch as they begin to put their stuff away into their bags when the shrill ring of the bell causes you to wince slightly.

You always hated how loud they put it, but you guessed that was the whole point.

Once everyone has left the classroom, a few of them running to catch the bus that was waiting for them outside, you lean back against the table and let out a deep sigh. That silver mop of hair darts through the door just before it closes and grins at you broadly, his eyes almost disappearing as the roundness of his cheeks takes over.

“Ahh Ancient Greece...your favourite topic.” Jimin says cheerfully, moving over to give you a quick side hug before standing back and looking around. Your big brother was taller than you, though not as tall as any Alpha got. He was a Beta though, so just below you in the pack social hierarchy. He used his height to his advantage in any arguments you had though.

Smiling at him, you nod as you begin to clean up the classroom that teenagers have made messy throughout the day. There’s a whole stack of papers on your desk that need to be taken home and marked, plus a whole new lesson plan to come up with for next week. For now though, you’d just focus on this and be thankful it was the weekend.

Jimin begins to help you, moving through the desks and placing the chairs on top of the tables carefully. He’d come straight from one of his jobs and so is still wearing the oh so stylish black work trousers that have a billion different pockets sewn into them, some of them still filled with items from wherever he’d been. A plain black polo, covered in a few stains from whatever he’d been doing has the logo of his company on the left side.

Your big brother had always been good with his hands and he’d developed a love of manual work when you were younger. Everyone in your family had thought that he’d become a mechanic or something, but he’d surprised you all by becoming a plumber of all things. But he seemed to enjoy it and he’d founded his own company last year, enabling him to take on jobs at his own pace while also taking on another plumber along with an apprentice.

“Have they called about your car?” He asks absentmindedly, throwing the trash that he’d found on the floor into the bin before moving over to wipe your whiteboard clean. You’re putting away some of the books that you’d used earlier in the day before storing the printouts you’d made but you give him a quick nod.

“Yeah, it’s all done. Are you okay to drop me at the garage so I can grab it?” Jimin smiles and nods, giving you a thumbs up as well before hopping up onto your desk. His hands drop between his legs while his feet dangle happily as he watches you.

“That’s fine. I can take you there and then go get some pizza if you want? The job today will pay well and they’ve already signed up to be a repeat customer. Which is exactly what I want as it’s a chain of businesses!” He says excitedly, wiggling in place and you grin at him.

“Awww, that’s so good. Congrats. Told you that you’d do well.” Turning back to the little bookcase you keep in your classroom, you place the final book into its place before standing back and moving over to him. Jimin has that look on his face now and you sigh, knowing where he’s going to go with this already.

“Yeah, I’m doing well. And I think you’re going to do well in the elections too. You just need to actually...get out there and talk to people in the pack. They know of you, but most of them don’t really know you, know you? I mean...you work out here in the city so there’s not really any reason for anyone to get to know you well.” Jimin points out, leaning back on one arm and raising a brow at you.

Sighing again, you look over at him before chewing your lip. “I grew up there and I live there again. How is it that people don’t know me? They’ve known me my whole life. I’m only really doing this because you’re adamant on it and think I’ll have a chance, which I think is stupid by the way.”

The pack leadership elections were going to be in less than a year and the candidates had already put their name forward for consideration a month ago. You’d been one of those to enter your name and had been confirmed as a potential candidate only a week ago.

Unsurprisingly, only Alpha’s could enter the pack leadership contests because Alpha’s had the required inherent characteristics that allowed them to lead. They needed to be strong enough to cope with everyone’s demands, empathetic enough to listen to people, diplomatic enough to make decisions about people’s problems and tough enough to defend the pack if necessary.

You didn’t think you really had the required skills given your unusual nature, but Jimin thought you’d make a good leader. Family and friends had thrown their weight behind you too and so you’d found yourself submitting your name, wondering what on earth you were doing.

The idea of you being the Pack Alpha was ridiculous, but you knew that you were going to receive a lot of stigma and hate because of your differences to a regular Alpha. On top of that, there had also been the creeping misogyny that had been spreading throughout the wolf world in recent decades, in direct contrast to the humans, which meant that many of the old schoolers in the pack were beginning to look down on a female Alpha.

It was all bullshit and everyone knew it. That was actually one of the reasons you’d gone along with it, because if you somehow did win then you’d love to be able to rub it into all of their sexist noses that you’d beaten their little boys. Petty? Yes. But you had to do what you had to do.

“Yeah, you grew up there. And we both live there. But you also went to the other side of the country for five years to go to college. They remember the baby Y/N, the teenage Y/N. Most of the folk in town don’t even recognise you. It’s only when they scent you that they realise it’s you. You went away and became all cultured with the university elites, became friends with other wolf packs and even other shifters. Most of the people in our pack have never seen another shifter breed or even left the state. They don’t know you anymore and you need to show them.” The look on your brother’s face is incredibly serious and you let out a groan that ends in a whine.

It’s very unbecoming for an Alpha but you don’t care. The idea of having to ingratiate yourself with a lot of people who would likely laugh at you for the very idea of thinking you could be Pack Alpha makes you want to throw something. But you know he’s right.

Jimin’s always right, unfortunately.

“Fine. Fine. What do I do? Go and knock on everyone’s doors? Hold a party? A meet and greet? Come, meet the pack’s weird Alpha and vote for her to your leader!” You make an overly exaggerated gesture as you talk, walking towards him and he rolls his eyes in response.

“Just...become a bigger part of society. Join some of the groups, come with us on pack hunts or runs. It’s easy. I don’t get hugely involved but everyone still knows who I am. I swear, you’ll be able to do it. And if you get to be our Pack Alpha, then you can start to make all those changes that you rant to me about regularly.” He shifts off the table at that, stretching his arms back until you can see the toned muscles of his abdomen.

Reaching out, you poke at them hard and he lets out a soft whine as he recoils forwards, arm covering himself before pouting at you. You grin and ruffle his hair, leading to even more complaints before he escapes your grasp.

“Those aren’t rants! They’re issues that need to get sorted out! I mean...you know that I thought this place was a little backwards when we were growing up here but moving away and coming back? God, you wouldn’t believe it.” Jimin grabs your bag from beneath your desk, placing it onto your desk before carefully putting your stuff into it.

You don’t go to stop him or anything, you trust Jimin with your personal belongings. The two of you live together in an apartment in the town you’d both grown up in, the ancestral homeland of your pack. It was partly to save on money for rent and utilities and partly just because you both liked being around each other.

Unlike other families in your pack where having four or more kids was normal, your parents had only been able to have you and Jimin. And it had taken six years for you to come into the world after Jimin. So despite the age difference, you were both close and adored each other.

“I do believe it. Because you tell me it’s true and I know you wouldn’t lie to me. Plus, you know I think there’s a lot of people in our pack that need to come into the 21st century. Some of them make me think they don’t even know what electricity is. And this is all why I think you’d make the best leader for us. Someone to modernise us finally and stop making us just look like the little backwater pack still stuck in the 18th century. I know we can do it, we have good wolves in our pack and there’s probably a lot who think like us but just don’t want to rock the boat.” Handing you your bag, he waits out in the corridor as you do a final sweep before turning off the lights and leaving.

“Yeah...you’re right. God yeah, you’re right about it. I’m trying to teach my kids here about the mistakes that were made in the past so that they know not to repeat them but I should try more with our pack too. And then...then I can make sure that our kids learn better and how to be better right?” Jimin grins broadly and hugs you to him, kissing your forehead sweetly tickling your sides until you growl gently.

“Yep. So...Operation Leader is a go.”

Humming lightly, you looked over the basket of potatoes that was on display in your local supermarket. It was your turn to do the grocery shopping, which was why you were stocking up on all the vegetables that Jimin turned his nose up at half the time. Sometimes you felt like you were living with a child but he always ate them eventually.

Tonight you were going to make lasagne and garlic bread, one of Jimin’s favourite meals. It was incredibly easy to make and you’d found yourself craving it as well, realising it had been a month or so since you’d last had it. And given Jimin was going to be home tonight, you’d decided it was time to make the cheesiest lasagne possible.

You might even indulge and make the garlic bread cheesy too. It was more than an indulgence really, because you would happily cover it all in cheese until it made you sick. Jimin wasn’t a huge fan of it though, so you knew that you’d have to limit it.

Picking up a tomato, you squeeze it experimentally to see how fresh it is before nodding and placing it inside the little net bag you’d brought for the vegetables. Fresh herbs go in as well and you get enough vegetables to make a hearty stew tomorrow, figuring that if you make a big enough pot then you can freeze some for the future and let both Jimin and you take some for lunch at work.

It’s only when you walk towards the dairy aisle, intent on grabbing a bottle of milk and deciding upon which cheese to liberally accentuate your lasagne and garlic bread with, that you accidentally knock into someone. A small ‘oof’ leaves your mouth as you wobble slightly, dropping the bag of prunes that you’d grabbed as you’d passed the end of the fruit aisle.

“I’m so sor-” You paused, brow creasing as a delicious scent fills your nose. Inhaling deeply, you take it in with wide eyes as your inner wolf growls lowly, her instincts immediately roused to life by the smell. Omega, she rumbles to you and you immediately get the biggest urge to press yourself to this newcomer.

The reaction from you isn’t surprising, given what you know of Omega’s. You’d never encountered one before, not until now, but everyone grows up learning of Omega’s. They were the rarest kind of wolf and a pack with an Omega present was considered to be exceptionally lucky.

Due to their rareness, an Omega was often treasured and deeply adored by the rest of the pack. They were to be protected at all costs, with the entire pack often banding together to ensure that they were okay. The reason for this was that Omega’s were considered to be the most submissive in a pack, naturally weak and timid along with being passive. It was a pack’s duty therefore to protect their Omega.

So you were beyond surprised that you’d encountered one in the supermarket of all places.

Shifting backwards slightly, you turn and pick up the packet of prunes before grabbing the tin of tomato soup that’s rolling your way. Standing back up, you hold out the tin to the Omega before pausing, your eyes going even wider as you look up.

He’s taller than you, a lot taller when combining what must be his natural height with the thick sole of what look like combat style boots. And he’s broad, his shoulders wide and accentuated by the black leather jacket he’s wearing, the silver embellishments of the buttons shining in the light.

Skinny jeans in black adorn his thighs and you can’t help the way your eyes drag over them, in awe of how...tight his jeans are. Especially when combined with the fact that this Omega evidently does some serious workouts given how thick and muscular his thighs are. In fact, how muscular everything looks.

His white shirt doesn’t give much away to you, but you have no doubt that if his legs look like that then the rest of him must look quite similar. Long, wavy hair is messed around his face, the strands wild and dark as they cover part of his eyes.

And it’s here that you discover the only part of him that looks like what you’d imagined an Omega would look like. Because right now, they’re wide open with shock and you freeze at the sight of them, the inner instincts that have been bred into you over centuries roaring to the fore and telling you to protect.

His eyes are filled with innocence and a tiny hint of fear, almost as if he’s afraid of what you might do. To any onlooker, that might look comical given how tiny you look in comparison to him. But his scent gives away the difference, because despite how...non-Omega he looks...he is still an Omega.

Which means if you wanted to, you could make him bow at your feet in submission as you forced a wave of dominance towards him. It wasn’t something you liked doing as it often felt like an assault on the receiver and you felt gross doing it. Some Alpha’s abused their ability, finding it amusing to lord their status over others.

But you only used it how it was meant to be used. When you were faced with someone who was refusing to follow the rules and putting others at risk. It was the only time you felt was acceptable to use that power, in order to save others.

So the fact he was looking at you like that made you pause, confusion making you hesitate as you wondered if maybe he thought you were going to force him to do something. And you realised that he’d probably be right if he’d met anyone else. There were plenty of asshole Alpha’s that you knew that would be pleased to play with an Omega, despite the reverence that a pack held for them.

Gesturing towards him with the tin, you give him a sweet smile as he takes it from you carefully, the way his fingers carefully avoid yours almost comical. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you or I would’ve moved out of the way.”

He doesn’t answer, his brow creasing in confusion as his eyes scan over you. You can’t help but watch those eyes in complete fascination, they’re so naturally big and you feel a strong urge to protect him. Not because he’s an Omega, but purely because he looks like someone with an innate curiosity that you don’t want to see die.

His nose twitches ever so slightly as he inhales deeply before speaking. “Why do you smell like that?”

You know what he means. An Alpha is supposed to smell earthy and musky, to remind a wolf of their forest homelands from centuries ago. It inspires confidence and trust, yet you smell sweet and gentle. Jimin said that you often smelled like he’d walked into a candy store.

This Omega though, he smells like an Alpha should. His strong scent is so reminiscent of the pine trees that grow in the forests around the town you’d grown up in, the only reason you know he’s an Omega is that genetic knowledge that distinguishes that part of his scent that’s different. It amuses you that you’ve found someone as contradictory in their nature as you.

“Why do you smell like that?” You counter, lips quirked up on one side in amusement as you tilt your head to look him over once more. A true contradiction of everything. Now you can understand why people find it hard to understand you.

He doesn’t respond, just stares at you with that same confusion that everyone always gives you. Only it seems a little stronger now, causing you to laugh slightly as you shake your head. “Well, it was nice to meet you, but I really have to finish my shopping and go. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.”

Turning away from him, you continue onto the dairy aisle as you ponder what you’ve just said. You’re naturally nice as an Alpha, always polite and helpful to anyone who asks it. As someone running for the pack leadership, you’d resolved to be even more helpful from now on in order to try and help. Jimin had said it was a good idea, and you’d long ago discovered that it was easier to just go along with whatever he says instead of questioning it.

Questioning it would just lead to him whining.

But you’d felt the need to be extra nice to the Omega, almost as if to prove that you were not like other Alpha’s. Which was ridiculous, because why on earth would you care to prove that? You’d never even seen the Omega before, and you doubted that you’d see him again. They were so rare that you doubted it would be long before some Alpha snapped him up as a mate.

Pursing your lips, you hum to yourself in thought before shrugging and carrying on. You’d discuss this more with Jimin later. No doubt your brother would be fascinated to find out what you’d discovered today.

Jimin turns up in the kitchen within two minutes of you getting home, his curious expression ever so familiar as he tries to peer into all the bags. You don’t know why he’s so interested as he knows that you always buy the healthier food compared to him. Whether or not his card has ever seen a vegetable remains a mystery known only to him and the universe.

“Oooh, lasagne?” He says excitedly as you pull out the familiar items that make up his favourite meal. Grinning at him as you place the perishable items into the fridge and begin organising everything else, you nod.

“Yeah, I thought it’d be nice to have since you’re home tonight. I’m gonna try and make it so that I make one side be overloaded with cheese while the other side is more normal for you.” Your stomach gurgles at the thought and Jimin snorts in amusement, taking one of the apples that you’d bought and biting into it eagerly.

He may not be fond of vegetables, but you knew that he loved fruit.

“I fully expect you to make a mac n cheese lasagne one day. No meat or anything.” Jimin says, sitting down at the table as he watches you finish putting everything away before you turn on the oven to preheat.

Your nose wrinkles at his words and you shake your head in response, taking the minced beef out of its packet and into a saucepan before turning on the hob. Waiting for it to heat up so you can brown the minced meat, you turn to making the sauce for the lasagne.

“No way. I may love cheese but that’s because it can make the lasagne go all lovely and crispy. Mmm. I do enjoy the meat too.” Lips pursing, you take the juicy tomatoes that you’d bought to make the sauce and look at it for a moment, memory suddenly sparking.

“Hey Jimin...when I was at the supermarket...I bumped into an Omega there? It was really weird, I didn’t even think the pack had an Omega or anything. But like...he didn’t smell like one properly, nor did he look like what I imagined an Omega would.” The tone of your voice is wondering and Jimin can tell that you’re going through scenarios in your head.

He lets out a long noise as he considers for a moment before making a small ‘ahh’ sound. ��That was probably Jeon Jungkook. You remember him? Or...remember of him?”

Nodding slowly, you frown as you try to think back to when you’d been younger and you’d heard of the stories of him.

“Yeah but I thought he, like, never left his house. Weren’t his parents super overprotective of him? He got homeschooled and everything right?” Jimin shrugs in response, biting into his apple once more and chewing carefully.

“He did. I think they did it so he wouldn’t get bugged by any Alpha’s or anything. I mean...your reaction right now is telling me that was probably a good reason and you’re one of the best Alpha’s I know. But he’s spent the last year living on his own, away from his parents. I think he’s trying to gain more independence and experience the world in a safer way or something. I see him occasionally around town. Not really what you expect of an Omega, huh?” That makes you laugh as you nod.

“The man is built like a truck. Honestly, I think he could probably take on most Alpha’s and win. He didn’t say much to me. He bumped into me and I gave him back his soup. In fact, all he said to me was ‘why do you smell like that?’ to which I asked him the same thing. He smells like an Alpha should smell, only with the overlay of Omega. He was very brusque, almost confrontational.” You ponder that as you turn the meat over, evenly browning it all before setting a second saucepan on the hob.

“Well, that’s understandable. I mean...he gets accosted by a lot of the Alpha’s and Beta’s who see him around town. The whole stereotype of Omega’s means that they think they can basically bully him into hanging out with them or...doing stuff with him. I think he’s probably been given a ridiculous number of mating requests and he’s turned them all down. Despite what many wolves think, apparently Omega’s are not as submissive as they’re stereotyped to be.” His voice gets light at that and you can practically hear the irony in it, knowing that Jimin probably severely disapproves of how Jungkook is treated.

It makes sense though, he’s grown up seeing how people have mistreated you because of how you don't adhere to the stereotypes of a traditional Alpha. Hearing that about Jungkook makes you feel angry though, almost resentful of everyone else in the pack who make Jungkook’s very existence a likely chore to him.

“Well that’s just rude. He’s still a person, a wolf with his own mind and abilities. Why are they so mean to him? I mean...I’m the least Alpha you’ve ever seen but it doesn’t mean I’m not an Alpha, you know? This is what I mean I say the pack is so ridiculous and outdated! It’s just gross. Why are they so bigoted and small minded? There’s no one way to be an Alpha and there’s no one way to be an Omega. Jungkook and I both show that. There’s nothing wrong either of us.” You say vehemently, grip tightening on the large plastic spoon in your hand.

Your argument makes Jimin laugh lightly, causing you to glare at him until he holds his hands up in defence, one hand holding an apple core. “Hey, hey. I agree. I fully support Jungkook being an ass to everyone if they’re being an ass to him in turn. See, this is why you need to win the leadership! So that then everyone can see how stupid they’re all being and backwards!”

That makes you groan loudly, eyes rolling to the ceiling as your head tilts back. You don’t even look over at Jimin as he deposits the core into the bin and makes his way over to the door frame. Your defeated expression makes him chuckle though.

“Jimin, I swear, every conversation with you better not end with you bugging me about this stupid fucking leadership competition. If it does, I promise that I stick this spoon up your damn ass.” You threaten, lifting the spoon threateningly as he laughs even louder.

Licking the ice cream that remains on top of the cone you’d bought, you let out a little happy noise before grinning over at Sana. She’s eating her own ice cream, only she’s already onto the cone now and you snort in amusement. Salted caramel was her downfall and you’d known immediately which flavour she was going to pick when you’d both headed into the small, family owned ice cream parlour in town.

It had been years since you’d been in there, long before you’d headed off to college and part of you had been surprised that it was still going. Mainly because it seemed that in this day and age, a lot of smaller stores like this seemed to die off as bigger conglomerates took over.

There was a Baskin Robbins just on the outskirts of town so it was impressive to see just how busy and popular the old ‘50s themed parlour still was. And also kind of nice, to see people still doing well in the pack while the pack supported them in turn.

They’d upped their game since you’d left though and now offered a ridiculously large range of flavours to match the national chain that had opened up while also expanding their range of milkshakes and smoothies in turn. And that was to say nothing of the cakes, cookies and other baked delights they’d invented.

Sana swore that it was the best place in town when you’d agreed to meet up with her today, praising it to the heavens. You were both just going to chill out and do a little shopping in the smaller, more boutique stores that your town had to offer while catching up on everything.

She was your best friend from childhood and when you’d gone off to college, she’d chosen to stay behind to attend the college in the closest city. It had allowed her to attain her degree in law and she was now working towards the bar, while interning at the only law firm in town. Quite obviously, it specialised in wolf law and inter-species relations and Sana had been determined to be a part of the law network around here.

Understandable, given her mother was a human and her father a Beta wolf. Their relationship hadn’t been entirely well received by the pack, yet another reason you felt spurred on to enter the leadership contest as it was another example of the pack being outdated. Human-wolf relations were completely normal when you’d been in college, the city you’d been living in cosmopolitan and liberal.

Perhaps it was too much of you to expect your small town to be more open, but you were determined to try. For wolves like you, Sana and Jungkook.

Bumping into her gently, you smile softly before taking the final lick of what remained of the ice cream in your cone. You’d picked your old favourite, chocolate chip mint, and had enjoyed every bit of it.

“Mmm, this was a good choice. It tastes even better than when I last went there.” Sana grins brightly, her face lighting up with happiness at the combination of the ice cream and just being with you again. It felt good to hang out with her and you were determined to spend more time with her now that you were living here once more.

“I know right? I mean, it was good five years ago but that Baskin Robbins has really made them up their game. Along with the general like for more flavours now. And thank goodness they decided to invest in learning how to make a salted caramel flavour because I swear, I go here once a week for this stuff.” She sighs dreamily before eating the last bit of her cone, licking her fingers in an attempt to make sure she got all the flavour before pouting dramatically.

Chuckling, you carefully bite your own cone before licking at the remnants of mint ice cream that cling to the inside. “Do they sell tubs? They should, it’d be a good business venture. They could even stock them in the stores here. People would buy it.”

Immediately, Sana’s eyes go wide with excitement as her jaw drops.

“Oh my god, yes they should! Why have they never thought of that? That's the best idea ever. We need to suggest it to them, they have a suggestion box and I would like to have my entire freezer filled with delicious salted caramel ice cream. Oooh, and the cookies and cream. And the pecan ice cream! Oh, and the pistachio!” Snorting, you shake your head as you finish your own cone and push her arm lightly in amusement.

“It’s a good thing you’re a wolf with a wolf’s metabolism because I don’t know how you’d keep that figure otherwise. Honestly. Does your fridge or pantry even have any food that doesn’t contain sugar?” You tease her gently, smiling as she scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“Of course. There’s water. That’s the perfect remedy for when I’ve indulged in too much wine.” Amused, you look away from her to the window of the store you’re both passing. Sana hadn’t changed much since you were both eighteen and you were thankful for it. She was still the happy, bubbly girl you’d been friends with for years, only now she has a veneer of adulthood about her.

Hopefully you were the same.

“You know, I can see why Jimin started dating you. You both have the eating habits of a five-year-old. If it wasn’t for me, I’m not sure Jimin would even know what a vegetable looks like. And I mean any vegetable.” That gets Sana smiling as you mention your big brother, and her boyfriend of two years.

The two of them had started dating in your final year of college. It hadn’t been too surprising as you’d known that Sana always had a little crush on Jimin but you’d been surprised that Jimin had reciprocated it. He’d always been steadfastly avoidant of anything that could potentially encourage a crush with your friends when growing up, which you’d definitely appreciated.

But apparently they’d come across each other a few times in your small town and one thing had led to another. They weren’t mated yet or anything, but you had a sneaking suspicion that it was only a matter of time. Jimin never did anything quickly, always taking his time to be as sure as possible before doing anything. It’s what made him a good plumber with a 100% success rate.

You had no doubt that Sana probably appreciated it as well, as being mated would mean they would have a higher chance of creating pups. And you knew damn well that Sana had big dreams for her career before starting a family. Not that she wouldn’t welcome them into her life, but you were pleased that they were both taking things slowly still.

“I don’t know, I’ve seen him with a cucumber before.” Frowning, you look away from the display of the latest book releases and over at her. You were about to ask her a question when you recognised the sly look of mischief on her face and you gagged loudly, turning away and back to the display.

In the window, you could see your expression of pure disgust. “Sana. That is my brother! I do not want to...oh god, ew. Ewwww.”

Sana’s high pitched giggle takes over as she enters the bookstore, her pure amusement at your horror causing you to smile despite the gross image you’d just had ingrained in your mind. That was the last time you were ever buying cucumber for the apartment.

The scent of fresh books welcomes as you enter the store and you instantly relax, closing your eyes to take a deep inhale. You’d always loved books and reading, it had been a strong passion of yours which was why you’d taken a dual subject degree; English literature and history. Your master’s degree had been in teaching, meaning that you were qualified to teach both English and history in the school you worked at.

Books were one of the most important things in the world to you as they not only informed and passed on the knowledge that people had gained over the centuries, even millennia, but they also opened up entirely new worlds to positively millions of people around the world. There was no world too big when it came to books and you felt passionately about encouraging everyone to read and indulge, whether they loved a bodice ripping romance or the autobiography of a popular sports star.

Sana tugged at your arm as she directed you towards the shelves of the popular novels, both of you scanning over them quietly. Reading had been a passion of you both and your parents had always been amused to sometimes come into your room when you were younger to find you both reading separately, the only thing making any noise was the stereo that played your favourite songs.

“You heard of anything good coming out?” You ask idly, crouching down to examine the history section and pursing your lips when you see an interesting book on the history of Ancient Mesopotamia. Flipping it over, you read the blurb intently before standing with it firmly in your hand.

“Not really, I think I’m just in the mood for something really light though. Easy to pick up and read for ten minutes or so at night.” She says, pulling out a copy of Neil Gaiman’s American Gods. You take in the cover before laughing and taking it from her, putting it back in its place.

“That is not the book you want then. Trust me, you have to read that book like, twice, to even understand what happened. Hmm...I’d recommend this, I have read it and it’s got a few sequels so you’ll be able to sink your teeth into it.” You hand her a copy of The Last Wish by Andrzej Sapkowski. “It’s a series called The Witcher, they made some games from it and there’s a Netflix show out too. You’ll enjoy it.”

Sana makes an interested noise and reads over the back before nodding in approval, giving you a smile of thanks before wandering off to her favourite genre section of the store. She’d always been a sucker for the fiction books with a particular love of crime and thriller. No surprise really, given her career choice.

Smiling, you make your own way over to the non-fiction section. You would read anything but you really enjoyed your history, autobiographies or memoirs. Tilting your head, you scan over the titles carefully before pulling out a book called Educated by Tara Westover. It only takes a quick scan over the blurb to see that it’s something that interests you and you add it to your small pile before continuing to look.

“Are you stalking me or something?” Comes a deep voice to your right, the sound so low and unexpected that you jolt in surprise, a hand coming to rest on your chest as a noise leaves you. It’s probably not a very Alpha-like response but honestly, what did he expect when jumping up on you like that? He was lucky you hadn’t responded the other way and tried to rip his throat out.

Turning quickly, you go to snap at the intruder and pause, eyes having to scan upwards to meet him. You’re so surprised at who it is that you take a step backwards, any irritance you might have had vanishing as you take in the sight of Jeon Jungkook standing before you.

Today, he’s got an oversized black hoodie covering his entire torso while black cargo pants adorn his legs, the numerous pockets looking empty and meeting the same boots he’d been wearing the other week. You take all of that in within seconds, brows narrowing inwards as you try to understand how you’ve come across him again.

“I’m not stalking you. I’m buying books. What does it look like I’m doing?” The words fall from your lips before you even run through them mentally, causing them to come out simultaneously belligerent and confused.

Jungkook’s beautiful eyes narrow slightly at you and his free hand pushes his hair out of his face, his surprisingly soft looking lips going particularly pouty. You take the moment to admire how clear his skin looks, the crappy lighting of the store making him probably look worse than he actually does. Which is impressive, because he already looks monumentally handsome.

“Well I don’t know. Wouldn’t be the first time an Alpha stalked me.” He grumbles, glaring at you before turning to face the bookcase. It’s almost with amusement that you note he doesn’t even look at the spine of the book he grabs, instead just pulling it out immediately.

Brow rising, you bit your lip to try and stop your smile. “So...got an interest in the history of sex hmm? Not really something I’d try and teach my students but it’s always good to have more information.”

You can’t help it, not when you see the obscenely large pink text that clearly states ‘A Curious History of Sex’ on the front cover. Of all the books he could’ve picked out, he managed to grab that one. And you think he’s probably mentally thinking that too by the way his cheeks flush the prettiest pink, even his ears going red with heat as he lets out a sigh and quickly shoves it back into place.

“Shut up,” The growl he gives is actually kind of impressive. “Of all the fucking books. Of course you picked out a sex book with an Alpha next to you.” He mutters quietly to himself, rolling his eyes and actually taking the time to read the spines this time. You’re kind of impressed that he gave you an order, particularly given the unfortunate stereotype of Omega’s. Evidently, there were a lot of things that were exaggerated.

Silence falls between you both and you sigh this time, eyeing him out of the corner of your eye. His raised shoulders indicate that he clearly wants nothing to do with you, but you feel a deep and innate need to say something to him.

“Hey...Jungkook. I know you probably don’t want to talk to me and I swear I’ll leave after this. Or at least...go to another part of the store. First of all, I know your name because my brother told me about you. I’ve not been in town for a few years. And second of all...I know it’s probably not much but...I’m really sorry about how you’ve probably been treated over the years. As you can probably tell, I’m not really like other Alpha’s so I’ve been on the receiving end of some negative treatment too and I know how cruel wolves can be. I just...I’m sorry for anyone who has stereotyped you and felt they had some right to you as a result. It’s probably not a lot but I hate that you felt the need to say that to me.”

Taking a deep breath, you give him a hesitant smile before carefully stepping away from him. It was probably pointless that you’d done that, and he would probably laugh at your idiotic behaviour lately. You knew Jimin sure would. Why the hell would Jungkook care if one Alpha apologised for the bad treatment he’s received for years? Particularly given you’re the least Alpha-like wolf out there.

But Jungkook is staring at you intently, his eyes narrow not in anger or suspicion but careful thought. His lips purse slightly before he licks them, his body posture loosening up slightly as he relaxes a little.

“You’re not like other Alpha’s are you? I mean, besides from the whole being tiny and smelling sweet thing,” He gestures to all of you at that, causing you to give a smile of amusement to let him know you’ve taken no offence. “You’re the first Alpha that’s ever apologised to me. For anything really, and you haven’t even done anything to warrant the apology.”

Chewing on your lip, you play the books in your hands before shrugging at him.

“Yeah well, no one ever apologised to me for all the comments they’ve made over the years. Not sure if I’d like to accept one either but I at least like the thought of someone trying to apologise. Won’t help everything that’s happened but it’s a start, you know?” You offer the words to him gently, hoping that he’ll understand why you felt the need to apologise to him.

He was right, in that you hadn’t done anything to offend him so far. You hadn’t said anything rude or negative to him, you hadn’t stalked or pursued him. In fact, the very idea of it was absolutely abhorrent. Sure, he smelled delicious and you had the biggest urge to press yourself to him and preen but you wouldn’t do it. You were an Alpha, and Alpha’s were supposed to have the best control.

Jungkook pauses slightly before nodding, running his hand through his hair once more. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Does feel a little nice to get some form of apology I guess. But you didn’t need to. You’re the first Alpha to not try to bully me into submitting to them or obeying them. I’ve even had a few try to force me into sex. In fact, I think the only time I’ve ever smelled your dominance was when I just scared you. And that was my fault, so I’m sorry.”

Grinning, you nod your head at him in acceptance and casually reach to the bookcase, grabbing a book about the history of the British SAS and adding it to your pile. You don’t even need to read the blurb, already knowing that you’d enjoy it and Jungkook eyes your books curiously.

“I don’t like making people submit to me if they don’t want to. It’s cruel and demeaning. We only have that power so that it’s used in dire circumstances. Anyone doing it to you is an asshole and you should tell them that. Or...well...think it at them, don’t do anything that might get you hurt,” Pausing, you frown over at him as you feel your heart expand in sympathy while a fire of anger burns in your stomach. “And I certainly don’t force people into sex with me. There’s a legal definition for that, and the act is most definitely illegal. Anyone does that, or tries it, I hope you report them because that’s disgusting.”

The vehemence in your voice is strong and firm, causing Jungkook to back away ever so slightly, his eyes widening as you accidentally let slip of your control. But you see no fear in his eyes, because it was quite clear that your anger was not directed towards him. In fact, it was more of a protective anger, an anger that he’d possibly been hurt or scared.

Still though, you don’t like the fact that you’d slipped and you bow your head, apologising quickly to him. He doesn’t say anything and you take a deep breath, calming yourself down before giving him a very neutral smile.

“I think it’s probably time for me to go now, I’ve got enough for my bookcase and my friend is waiting for me. It was nice to meet you Jungkook and I hope that whenever we meet next, you can feel a little more comfortable with me. And that you don’t terrify me at the start.” That gets a laugh from him, the sound high and lou. You end up laughing in turn, your own laugh quieter and more gentle.

Turning from him, you go to head over to the cashier before you feel a slight pressure on your arm. Pausing, you realise that it’s Jungkook before you even turn around, his delightful scent surrounding you so much that you can’t help but close your eyes and take a deep breath. Combined with the heavenly scent of books, you’re not sure you’ve ever smelled anything better.

Shifting until you’re facing him, you see Jungkook’s face looking a little nervous. His eyes glance about, almost as if he was checking to see if there was anyone around and you wonder what he wanted from you.

Finally though, he gestures down to the phone in his hand that he points towards you, the screen open to a new contact page. Glancing back up with a raised eyebrow, you have to seriously fight to stop the smile that wants to spread when you realise that his cheeks are pink once more.

“I’m sorry if this is...a little forward or anything but, is there any chance you might be okay with giving me your number?” He smiles at that, his white teeth perfect and straight in his mouth as his eyes positively light up with the same mischief you see in Jimin sometimes. “I think I’d like to get to know you a bit more...if you’re okay with that?”

You’re positive that your jaw has dropped and you desperately want to shove it back into place, feeling that you were probably being a little rude. Okay, a lot rude. But seriously, Jungkook had just asked for your number. An Omega, who had a clear dislike of Alpha’s for a good reason, had asked for your number.

Carefully, you eye him and realise he’s being completely serious. There’s a small delay between you realising this and your hand moving forward to take the smartphone from him, your fingers carefully typing in your name and number.

“Okay, if you’re sure.” Handing back the phone, he glances down at the screen and smiles softly.

“I think so. It was nice meeting you Y/N. I’ll talk to you soon.”

It had been over two months since that day at the bookstore, when you’d experienced how...non-Omega like Jeon Jungkook was. And he’d continued to surprise you ever since. He was bold when you expected submissive, arrogant where you’d been told to expect meekness and so much more.

You were thoroughly delighted by how contradictory he was and enjoyed testing the limits with him. He seemed to enjoy it too, given how he let you push at his boundaries while he in turn pushed at your own experimentally. It was an odd give-and-take with him, something you’d never experienced before and you were finding yourself increasingly enamoured with him.

Not that you were going to tell him that of course. The last you wanted was for him to feel like there was yet another Alpha pressuring him for anything. But it was just hard to not develop any feelings for him when he was so sweet and kind.

The two of you had texted frequently for the first two weeks before you’d met up at a local café, learning how to translate that easy going conversation via text into face-to-face conversation. You’d learnt how to though, carefully navigating the intricacies of a friendship with an Omega.

Jungkook could often be abrasive and sometimes took things to heart. A simple sentence from you that had no negative implications would be misunderstood by him to the extent that you were sometimes left wondering if you’d said something bad. And then he’d apologise, his cheeks red as he’d admit that it had been him who has misinterpreted you.

It was the strangest friendship you’d ever had, yet also one that you’d grown to love. Jungkook had a big heart beneath all his overly large, black clothing and his blunt personality. You had certainly enjoyed discovering that, finding out all the ways that made him smile in that soft and shy way, how to make him laugh in the overly sweet giggle that made your heart race a little.

Tonight he had come over to your apartment with the promise of freshly made Greek food and a night of watching Locke and Key on Netflix. You’d both watched the first episode independently before deciding that you’d watch it together when Jimin and Sana had shown no interest. Which meant that tonight, you would hopefully both blitz through the rest of the series in one go.

Of course, Jungkook wasn’t going to turn down food. Especially free food. So he’d happily said yes and had been a surprisingly good help in the kitchen as you’d shown him how to help prepare the food. Right now, your stomach was pretty content and happy; full of pork souvlaki, dolmades made of hollowed out and stuffed tomatoes with a whole array of delicious sides including homemade tzatziki and fresh olives.

The dessert had been a store made baklava, because you weren’t quite willing to put your talents as far as making that. But it had been just as delightful and you knew that Jungkook had enjoyed every mouthful. In fact, he’d probably wanted more when he’d realised there was no more souvlaki left. He’d even eaten all the salad.

And now you were both sitting on the couch, your feet curled under you as your belly protested ever so slightly from being filled with so much food and a glass of red wine in your hand. Jungkook had a bottle of beer and you were surprised by how...domestic it all felt really.

Jimin wasn’t home tonight, he was spending the night with Sana and had given you a very peculiar look when you’d told him that you wouldn’t go with him because Jungkook was coming over. Normally, you’d spend a few hours at Sana’s before heading back home and leaving them both alone to enjoy each other.

Your brother had met Jungkook over the last few weeks. Even become quite friendly with him. Jungkook’s own friends, Kim Taehyung and Kim Namjoon had slowly become friends with both you and your brother as well. They were both Delta’s, the general population of a pack, and so were completely harmless to Jungkook thankfully.

It had been particularly amusing when you’d met them to see how protective they were over the Omega. Especially given the fact that as an Alpha, you were the top rank out of them all. But their hackles had slowly gone down as they’d gotten to know you better and realised that you had no intention of pushing your will on any of them, particularly Jungkook.

All of you had gone out to the city one day, checking out the giant shopping mall there and even playing around in the old school arcade that they had. Jungkook and you had engaged in more than one round of the classic Time Crisis, both of you yelling whenever you died and had to feed more money into the machine. The others had stood around watching for a while before moving off to play the basketball game.

After that, you’d both devoured fully stacked cheeseburgers and a portion of large fries before drowning them in a large cookie dough milkshake. It had been fun and had almost felt like a date, if there hadn’t also been Jungkook’s two friends with you along with Jimin and Sana.

Thankfully, the presence of an Alpha and two Beta’s had prevented anyone from trying anything funny with Jungkook, leaving him to simply enjoy the day out. And you were beyond happy that had been his experience so far with you every time you’d both gone out together. Your mere presence as an Alpha kept others at bay.

Despite how easy everything was being tonight, you felt a little funny and strange. Jimin had made a casual comment the other day about how your scent seemed to change when Jungkook was around, taking on an almost earthy scent while Jungkook’s in turn became sweeter. You thought it was just because you were near someone who was awakening the primal instincts in you, and vice versa with Jungkook.

That had got you a droll stare.

But you would have to admit that being like this, sitting with him and his warmth being so close to your own while his scent overwhelmed you so delightfully, made you feel happy and content. A small voice in the back of your mind was telling you what it was, what it all meant. But you didn’t want to acknowledge that voice, didn’t want to let it gain ground in your mind.

What you had with Jungkook was good right now. It was solid, surprisingly stable given the short amount of time you’d known him and how drastically different both of your backgrounds were. Though you couldn’t help but think.

Okay, if you were being entirely honest with yourself then you wanted Jungkook. You wanted to date him, to hold his hand and make him smile. Kiss his cheek and his nose, feel all of that strong body beneath his clothes, feel his hands on you while you run your hands along him, learn the taste of his mouth and…

Shaking your head, you try to push those thoughts out of your mind before your scent changes in a way that even Jungkook is going to notice. Taking a deep swallow of wine, you point at the screen while scoffing loudly.

“Is it just me, or are these kids taking all this weirdness in their stride way too easily? Like, oh look! A key opens a mirror world where you can get lost and die! Nothing weird there. Casual day in their lives.” Jungkook snorts, grinning as he takes a drink.

“They do seem to be quite calm about this whole thing. I mean, I’d be freaking the fuck out if that was me. Taking the first train to Nopeville and stopping at Hell the Fuck No City on the way.” Laughing, you press your face into his shoulder. He had the strangest humour sometimes.

Jungkook particularly liked those old school ‘90s comedy films or early 2000s. He’d already made you watch Dumb and Dumber along with Clerks, Happy Gilmore and Dodgeball. You’d admit to enjoy Dodgeball, okay so maybe you’d laughed particularly hard at the ‘if you can avoid a wrench!’ scene, but the others had questionable humour to you.

To him though, it had been the funniest thing he’d ever seen. His laugh was particularly loud when he was enjoying something so freely, the sound infectious until you were giggling along with him. So even though you weren’t exactly enamoured with the films he liked to watch, you went along with them because he liked them. And you liked it when he got the happy look in his eyes.

“I guess it wouldn’t really make it exciting though if they just noped the fuck outta there, huh?” You muse, casually eating a fruit gummy from the pack of Haribo you’d bought at the grocery store too. Jimin would kill you if he found out that you’d bought them when he wasn’t here, but whatever.

Offering the packet to Jungkook, he gives you a sweet smile before carefully reaching inside and picking out a tangy cherry gummy. He pops into his mouth quickly, a hum of happiness leaving him as he wiggles slightly, rosy pink lips pouting slightly as he chews. Snorting, you smile brightly and poke his cheek affectionately.

Looking at you, his eyes widen in that innocent way of his that makes your heart strings tug. Despite his bold and aggressive exterior, the tattoos that line his arms in what you’re convinced is a way to express his creativity while also protecting himself from anyone looking, he was still an Omega. He growled at you and grumbled frequently, ignoring your requests and straight up argued with Jimin frequently.

Jungkook defied every stereotype of an Omega and almost took great delight at doing so. Yet at his heart, just like you were still an Alpha when you stripped everything away, he was still an Omega. The way he would watch with boundless curiosity when you cooked or helped to build the new bookcase you’d bought last week. His sweet nature was always so giving, how he would happily share his food with you and how much he loved affection despite his initial belligerence.

You knew that the only reason you were seeing this Jungkook was because he felt comfortable with you. That you gave him the stability and protection that made him feel like he could be open with you and honest about himself.

“Jungkook...how...okay, don’t answer this question if you don’t want to or anything. But...when we first met, and the second time, you were surprisingly aggressive. For an Omega. And I know, I know, stereotypes and all that. But...having got to know you, I’m a little surprised by how unlike you that was. You’re so sweet and kind and funny, genuine and honest. I was half convinced that you were gonna bite my head off the second time we met.” Jungkook’s cheeks flush bright red at that, one hand coming up to rub at them before he lets out a quiet laugh.

“Yeah...I know. It's an, erm, survival mechanism. My parents taught me to be...bolder than I actually am. Inside, I’m quaking with fear when I act like that because all it takes is one genuine command and I’d be on my knees. Usually an Alpha is so surprised by my aggression that they don’t do anything further. No one wants to fight an Omega, right? And then I make my getaway.” He takes another gummy from the pack, chewing on it carefully.

“That makes sense. Your parents were smart. I know I confused my parents when I was younger because of how...non-Alpha I was. By all of the stereotypes, I should’ve been hammering and pushing around Jimin when I was old enough to walk and shift. But instead, I would let him push me around. It was almost amusing how confused it made them.” You laugh, grinning at him brightly with an aura of smug amusement. “I have the instincts in me, but I don’t feel like-”

“Like you’re being run by them. I get it. Same here. I get the urge to be submissive and quiet and meek, all those lovely instincts that Omega’s have for some godforsaken reason. I just don’t feel the need to let them come to the fore. Instead, I can almost push-”

“Push them away. They’re there, in your head and your body, your wolf knows them, but you don’t need to use them.” Jungkook looks at you for a moment with a serious expression, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly and you wonder what he’s thinking. He looks like he’s considering something.

“I’ve never met anyone who understands what it’s like. And it’s even weirder given how different we are in the pack hierarchy.” Reaching for his drink, he takes a long swallow and you watch the way the muscles in his throat work as he does so, your own mouth suddenly bone dry. His words permeate your mind and you purse your lips, shrugging slightly.

“Same. But...it’s nice not to feel so alone, you know? Part of the reason why I’m running for leadership. I mean, a big part is to shut Jimin up but...I genuinely want to change the way this pack thinks and how it runs. Wolves like us are just as normal as any other and I don’t see why a stereotype should be the way we have to run our lives. You’re an Omega, yes, but you’re so much more than that. I know we have our wolves in us, and there’s part of us and instincts we can never change, but the human side of us needs to learn and grow. Move with the times.” That gets a laugh from Jungkook as he places his bottle back down, grinning at you.

“You sound like you’re giving some great speech. But you’re right. I’ll vote for you.” Looking at him sharply, you scan over his face closely to see if he’s joking or anything. You’d had plenty of people who were being honest when they said they would vote for you, but you’d also had plenty of people who had been joking.

It would be nice if you could say the high school nastiness had stayed in high school. Instead, it had just become an unfortunate personality trait of some wolves.

But his face was serious, his expression earnest and his eyes wide with his sincerity. Your hackles slowly relaxed as you chewed your inner lip before giving him a small nod and an even smaller smile.

“Thanks. I mean...I’m not gonna win but you know.”

“Well, not with that attitude. Come on, you’re an Alpha. Embrace your stereotype for once and be braggadocios. It’s the one time I won’t hold it against you.” Dancing his finger around your nose, he practically sings the words and you laugh while also noting he has a nice voice.

“Okay, okay. I guess. Even though I’m all about dismantling the stereotypes of the pack, I will embrace my own this once. For Jimin and you, because I think between you both, you’re going to drive me crazy until it’s all over.” The Omega laughs loudly, the sound so pure that you can’t help but laugh along as your heart soars and you feel almost light headed. You’re not sure if that’s basically of his basic nature, or if it’s just because it’s Jungkook.

“Good. And while you’re embracing your stereotype, I’m going to take your advice and go against mine and be bold right now,” He pauses for dramatic effect. Or at least, you think it's a dramatic effect, until you see the nervous way his eyes look away from you constantly. “I like being your friend. It’s really good, and I really like it. I do. But...I was wondering if maybe...you wanted to be...more?”

Jungkook’s boldness dies away by the end of his sentence until his words are so soft and gentle, you can barely hear them. His cheeks are a flaming red now and you get the impression he’s trying to hide behind his luscious locks of hair. But you heard the words all the same, and you let go of the breath you’d been holding.

Part of you wants to interrogate him, to ask if he was being serious. If this is what he really wanted. If he was really okay with being with an Alpha. You wanted to make sure this was all comfortable for him.

But the bigger part of you, the part that was jumping for joy and your wolf who was howling in excitement along with you, wanted to just say yes. Jungkook was a grown man. An adult who just happened to be an Omega. If you were serious about ignoring the stereotypes that had been placed on you both, then this would be a prime start.

By letting him have true agency over his decisions and acknowledging that he had evidently thought them through until he had come to this request. Jungkook was naturally shy beneath his veneer of boldness, and you knew he thought things through a lot. So to know he’d been thinking of this...in the same way you had.

You only have one word to say to him, a word you both evidently want to hear and you can’t stop the giant smile that paints across your face as you give it to him.

“Yes.”

Standing in front of the mirror in your bedroom, you contemplate whether to wear the olive green shirt or the buttercup yellow one. It was traditional for the candidates for pack leadership to wear the colours of nature on the election day and you were keen to uphold this one tradition at least. If there was one thing you did agree with the pack on, it was the need to appreciate and love nature.

But still, you were unsure of what to wear. You had to make a good impression after all and you were the only woman going forward for the Pack Leadership. That thought immediately makes you scowl though and you want to pinch yourself. There was no need for you to put more effort in than the other two candidates just because of who you are. That was the kind of thinking you were rallying against.

“You should wear the yellow. It looks pretty on you.” Jungkook’s voice pipes up from where he’s laid on the bed. He sounds a little tired and you know that he’d been up late last night trying to finish the project he’d been assigned by the digital marketing company he worked for. Their deadline had been moved up drastically which meant he’d had to work harder to get everything finished, being one of their few website and graphic designers.

“Really?” You hum, shifting to assess yourself as you hold the yellow shirt in front of you instead. It does look pretty good on you but you were going to be wearing sand coloured jeans. That would be too pale overall and you didn’t want to stand out too much, plus there wasn’t any green in your wardrobe. But then again, the olive would make you look like some kind of army dropout.

“Don’t you have some dark green pants in there? I’m sure I saw them.” With that, he heaves himself out of bed and stretches, looking mighty fine as you’re gifted with the view of his muscled body and tan skin, the abundance of tattoos he loves so much scrawled across his arms. His hair is just as long and ruffled as the day you first met, only it’s looking even more like a mess right now and you snort.

You don’t remember the pants he’s talking about so you wait for him to finish scratching his belly, nails scraping against the fine hair that leads above the band of his boxers. Finally though, he walks over and rummages through your closest while humming lightly to himself. Smiling, you run your fingers along his back and enjoy the way he shivers against you.

It’s been a good few months since the two of you had started dating. The rest of the Pack had been surprised to find out that the impossibly grumpy Omega had finally agreed to date an Alpha and you’d gotten plenty of suspicious words from people over time. There were a lot who didn’t understand why Jungkook was with you of all Alpha’s, given how...unlike the one you were.

But it had also bizarrely had a strange effect on your popularity in the rankings. Given the almost mythical status afforded Omega’s, it was almost like the Pack viewed you as someone more worthy of the very idea of leadership because he’d chosen to be with you. Jimin had told you it was because of yet more antiquated ideas surrounding Omega’s and the fact that a lot of wolves believed that they would only mate with superior Alpha’s.

While you weren’t going to push away the idea of mating with Jungkook, if anything you were pretty positive that your wolf had long ago picked him, you didn’t like the pressure it placed on him. Nor did you like how you felt like you were manipulating the people who were coming to know and appreciate.

You’d tried not to let it bother you too much and had instead focused on getting to know the people of your town and Pack once more while exploring the budding relationship between Jungkook and you. He was perhaps the sweetest wolf you’d ever met with a pure heart of gold and you adored the gruff exterior he presented to keep away others.

“Here it is.” He says proudly, bringing out a pair of olive green pants that you’d forgotten you even had. How he’d found those, you had no idea but you were pleased to see that you’d had the forethought to at least hang them up, meaning there were currently no wrinkles.

Ideally, you’d obviously have washed them but whatever. As long as it looked good and not like a last minute decision. Smiling brightly at him, you take them and pair them up with the shirt, liking the neutral tones that look like sunshine and earth combining.

“Good decision ‘kook. I like it.” You’d already showered, hence why you were currently wrapped in a towel, and carefully chose some underwear as well. This wasn’t as important obviously and you preferred to be comfortable instead of sexy. Though there were certainly occasions when the latter worked...particularly with a certain wolf.

“I’m gonna go shower quickly and then get dressed. We’re meeting up at the parking lot right?” Jungkook asks, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek to avoid morning breath before heading over to the bathroom. You gave him a nod before he slipped inside and began to get ready, taking a deep breath to steel yourself.

Jimin had moved out two months ago and Jungkook had moved straight in, your relationship deepening even further. You’d say it was fast, but you were probably just used to Jimin and Sana’s snail pace relationship. They’d finally mated though and you’d been informed only last week that you would be able to play with a nephew or niece sooner rather than later.

But logically, you knew that a true mate pairing just knew with each other. And you suspected that had happened with Jungkook. You were taking things slow not only for him, but for yourself to make sure that you weren’t just rushing into something. Which was silly, because your wolf wasn’t going to change her mind anytime soon.

Pulling on your clothes, you accessorise with a few pretty rose gold bracelets and a beautiful necklace with a small, bejewelled hummingbird pendant. Jungkook had bought you it for your six month anniversary, which made you laugh because you didn’t realise he’d been counting, but it was a sweet gesture and worked perfectly with your colour scheme today.

A few touches of make up to your face are finished by the time Jungkook comes out and he snorts at the sight of you nearly finished already. Apparently he was constantly surprised by how quickly you got ready, more used to his mom’s time consuming efforts.

He pulls on a white, button up shirt along with some dark grey skinny jeans. Witnesses aren’t required to dress to a code like the candidates were, but you couldn’t deny that he looked almost outrageously attractive. You didn’t even realise you were growling at a subvocal level until Jungkook looked at you with a grin, drying his hair and styling it to make sure he looked good.

He always looked good though.

Before you even realise what you’re doing, you’ve placed the lipstick down you were about to put on and are standing in front of him, arms wrapping around his slim waist to hug him. Jungkook hadn’t buttoned his shirt fully yet so none of your makeup got on his pristine shirt but you didn’t particularly care right then.

Humming lightly, you inhaled deeply and took in his scent, body relaxing as your nerves washed away with his presence. This was why you weren’t protesting your wolf’s choice of mate too much, or the fact that she’d become more insistent over the last few weeks. Because he made you feel happy and stress free.

Honestly, you weren’t entirely sure what you’d been doing before him.

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, instead wrapping his arms around you in turn and simply hugging you back. The two of you sway slightly as he moves you both and his chest vibrates as he hums a song in his usual habit, the sensation gentle against your ear.

“I love you.” The words fall from your mouth before you even realise what you’re doing and you go to freeze, uncertain if he’d accept the words. Declarations like that were not taken lightly in your world given how mate bonds were permanent. You simply didn’t ‘fall in love’ with someone who your wolf didn’t want and trust implicitly.

Which meant you’d just given the game away to Jungkook. And on this very important day that you had been anxiously waiting for, you now had to comprehend with the fact that you needed to hear whether he would reciprocate or deny. Because it was entirely up to him now.

He could respond, meaning all you would need to do was consummate the bond together later, or he could deny you which would mean your relationship probably wouldn’t last much longer. Swallowing thickly, you wait to see what he’d say.

“I love you too.” They’re so soft and gentle that you almost don’t hear them, even with your superior senses. And you get the impression that he’s a little choked up himself, a little shy and beyond all that, happy with the way his arms tighten around you. It makes you want to cry too but you’ve just put your damn makeup on and you are not going to ruin it when you don’t have time.

Pulling away, you look up at him and bite your lip in excitement, taking in the way his eyes practically glitter with reciprocal emotion. You’ve never seen a more beautiful sight in your life. The two of you move like magnets attracted to one another, lips connecting as if there’s not a force on Earth that could stop you both and you sigh into his mouth happily.

It doesn’t take him long though to gently push you away, his hands firm on your shoulders as you whine at the loss of him. He doesn’t give in though, very carefully directing you back over to the make up he’d distracted you from before kissing your forehead quickly.

“There’s no time for that right now. We can discuss this further after the election, okay?” Jungkook’s voice is soft as he crouches next to you, resting a hand on your thigh and giving you the sweetest smile that makes his eyes positively glow. Resting your hand on his cheek, you stroke the skin there softly before sighing and nodding.

“Well...at least one good thing has happened today.” He laughs at that, standing up to finish dressing while you finish up as well. The two of you chat about the show you’ve both been watching, carefully avoiding any discussion of what had just happened or what was about to happen.

It stays like that until you’re meeting up with your friends and family in the parking lot outside the entrance to the forest. Well, there’s lots of entrances but this was the entrance. The one that led to the ancestral clearing that had been used to determine the leader of the Pack for centuries now. Long ago, the election had actually been a competition in which Alpha’s would fight to claim the leadership.

Those who didn’t submit, or die, won the right to lead. Thankfully, that had been outlawed long ago or you wouldn’t have even considered the possibility of entering the election. The very idea was simply barbaric and despite the fact you turned into a wolf, and had a wolf with her own mind inside you, you were still also human.

“You ready?” Jimin asks, smiling at you reassuringly as he moves over and hugs you tightly. Smiling, you press yourself into your brother and inhale the smell of him, the familial connection helping you to relax. Sana soon joins in the hug and you laugh softly, enveloping her too and taking in the difference of her own scent now that she is pregnant. There were subtle hints of Jimin in there, indicating he was the father and you wanted to squeal with excitement.

You’d been beyond happy that they’d finally bonded together after what seemed an absurd amount of time but you were even happier than they were pregnant. The two of them were going to make fantastic parents and you were beyond excited to be an aunt as well.

Looking back at Jungkook, you reach out for his hand and tug him into the hug too, making him whine before laughing. He was still pretty shy with affection in public, almost like he was afraid that people might make comments about him or something but you weren’t going to let him get away with that right now.

That baby was going to be his nephew or niece too now. Though obviously Jimin and Sana didn’t know that just yet. Still though, they welcomed into the hug with open warmth and you sighed happily as some of the most important people surrounded you with their love and support.

“Thank you all for coming.” You mumble before separating yourself from them and giving your parents a hug as well. They give you their own well wishes and support as well and you chat with them for a few minutes about everything that’s been going on, promising to visit them more often.

“Come on, we’ve got to go.” Sana says suddenly, interrupting you with an apologetic smile before looping her arm through your own. The two of you start doing the dirt trail, quiet for a moment as you take the time to inhale the clean scent of the trees that surround you. Reaching out, you run your hand along the rough bark of the trunk of the nearest one and feel yourself centre with the help of the nature surrounding you.

Generations of wolves had been born, lived and died under the watchful gaze of these trees and you wondered what stories they could tell. The love stories they’d seen or the battles they’d been witness to. What would be the story they were going to see today? Would it be you, taking leadership or someone else?

“You’ll be fine,” Sana whispers to you, giving you a big smile before squeezing your arm reassuringly and you give you a tight smile in response. “Seriously, I think you’re going to do great. You underestimate how popular you are with people.”

“That’s just because I’m with Jungkook.” You mutter, pouting slightly as you contemplate just how much of people's warmth towards you was because of what you had done yourself or because you were dating the pretty and mysterious Omega. Glancing back at him, you watch as he chats with Jimin contentedly, laughing softly at the sight of him so big and broad next to your slight brother.

“You’d never think he was the Omega.” Your best friend muses, her tone light as she looks back too and you nod with a snort. Out of the two of them, Jimin looks like he would be the Omega instead of Jungkook. People would get a shock if they tried to treat Jimin like a submissive though. He’d probably bite their head off first.

Your brother could occasionally have a bit of a temper.

“He puts effort into looking that badass. Works though.” Chuckling, you turn back and take in a deep breath as you spot the opening just ahead. There’s sunlight streaming through, giving everything an almost ethereal look and you bite your lip as trepidation burns in your stomach.

“It doesn’t matter if I don’t win anyway. It’s all fine. I took part and hopefully changed some people’s minds too.” Nodding in confidence, you eye Sana for a moment before pushing at her lightly with affection. She raises her eyebrows at you before grinning and you both burst into nervous giggles.

“Okay, okay. Let’s be serious now. Game faces on. This is important.” You say, holding out your hand in front of your face before bringing it down in a gesture to simulate you getting serious. It makes Sana snort but she doesn’t say anything to contradict you. She knows you’re not entirely confident about this but you don’t want her to say anything about it.

Letting go of her arm, you turn and take a deep breath as you take in the faces of support from everyone you love. Sana’s parents along with Jungkook’s have joined now, having already reached the clearing and moving over to be with your supporters on the outskirts. You give them a nod of acknowledgement and thanks before heading into the centre of the circle of trees.

It’s bigger than you’d expect when you heard the word ‘clearing’. The tall sentinels that stand guard in an almost perfect circle have wide, foreboding trunks that indicate they’re old while the centre is wide enough to have wild grass growing freely. The strands sway slightly in the gentle breeze that filters through the trees and you note that there are a few wildflowers beginning to pop up as well, their colours bright and vibrant against the lush green.

Quiet murmuring and soft discussions mean that you can’t hear any of the natural sounds of the forest, the Pack members who were eligible and able to vote clustered around the outer edges. It always surprised you just how many wolves there were in your Pack, particularly considering it was considered to be small compared to Packs elsewhere.

There were a good few hundred people in the clearing though, making it seem even smaller. Even then, a lot of them were actually in the trees, waiting for their moment to come forward and vote. One day, the Pack wouldn’t be able to fit in this clearing. They were already spilling over the edges and you frowned, wondering when it had all gotten so big.

That was a thought for another day though and instead you simply go round, greeting as many people as you can and giving them your most gracious and humble smile. You would be leading these people if you won, but you would also be serving them too. It’s something a lot of people didn’t seem to realise about leadership positions, that they were designed to serve the very people who put them there.

Most were happy to greet you, giving you equally polite smiles and making small talk while there were a few others a little more frosty. You weren’t surprised that the families of the other candidates, Kim Seokjin and Oh Taewon, weren’t exactly the happiest to see you but there wasn’t exactly a lot you could do about that except be civil.

Soon enough thankfully, the current Pack Alpha is calling for quiet. His strong voice has a deep timbre and is still strong, despite his age. Though that might be because he was using the dominance he’d been born with to reinforce his words and ensure that everyone was listening to him.

A few of the Alphas in the crowd bristled to be ordered about, not exactly an unusual occurrence given the clashes of dominance that could happen. It wasn’t usually a problem but with this many wolves around, the election would have to take place quickly to ensure it didn’t cause any issues such as fights.

The quietest whine from behind you causes you to turn, catching Jungkook’s eyes and taking in the slightly distressed look in them. Almost immediately you feel protective, a need to rush over to him and comfort him. You’d been worried about him coming here, with so many dominant personalities present and how he’d handle it all but he’d been determined to come for you.

When he realises you’re watching him, he gives you a tremulous smile that’s a little weaker than he probably anticipated. It makes your heart clench and you catch Jimin and Sana’s attention subtly, indicating towards your boyfriend who was now fidgeting with his hands. They take approximately a second to realise what’s wrong before nodding at you with a smile, Sana’s arm wrapping around his waist in a hug.

It’s not you, but the comfort of someone he knows and trusts makes him relax and you sigh in relief. The last you needed during this moment was to be constantly fretting over him. As much as you love him, you need to get through this.

Turning back, you stand in between the other two candidates and listen to the current Alpha talks. He explains the history of your Pack along with how important the role of leader is. You zone out for a little bit, the nerves causing you to ignore what he’s saying until you realise people are moving forward slowly.

The way your ancestors had devised the more democratic, and less brutal, method of choosing the new Pack leader was for each member to place a stone in a wooden bowl that was set in front of you. Once everyone had voted, the stones were counted by the current Alpha and the leader declared. In case of a tie, the vote was decided by the Pack Alpha, who didn’t vote normally.

As people came forward and voted, you decided that while you appreciated the concept of voting, you didn’t particularly appreciate having to actively watch as people you had come to know voted for others. It was beyond awkward as you tried to avoid eye contact while also making sure you didn’t appear too upset or offended.

But what surprised you more than anything was the fact that...you seemed to be winning? The stones in your bowl were growing more and more plentiful while your opponents had only handfuls each. Frowning ever so slightly, you realised with a start that at this rate, they wouldn’t even need to count the stones. It was that obvious.

Instead of fretting over that, you focused instead on who was giving you their trust and loyalty. The people who were telling you that they thought you were the best Alpha to lead them forward, despite how you’d always been considered a lesser Alpha in the past. Part of you, the part that didn’t think you were ready, wondered how much of their choice had been impacted by Jungkook.

Shaking your head slightly, you pushed the thought away. It didn’t matter at the end of the day. If the final votes kept up like they did, then Kim Seokjin and Oh Taewon were going to be congratulating you on your win and acknowledging your leadership. You, the Alpha who defied all stereotypes.

Smiling slightly to yourself, you looked down at the ground as the final votes slowly trickled in. The win was to such an extent that your bowl looked like it was in serious danger of overflowing and you felt almost embarrassed at it. Glancing over to the other two candidates, you saw them give you a warm smile before they both walked over to give you a congratulatory handshake.

Given how temperamental Alpha’s could be, you were thankful that both Seokjin and Taewon were magnanimous and kind in defeat. Though you supposed that only level-headed Alpha’s would even be allowed to contest the election. No point allowing a candidate who was a hothead and would start a fight just because they lost.

Still, you made sure to be warm and welcoming to them both to avoid any future awkwardness. He current Pack leader, or rather the previous now, didn’t even bother counting the stones and instead moved over to you with a wide grin. Once you’d finished talking with Seokjin and Taewon, he grasped your hand and lifted it high above your head.

“I think this is probably the easiest victory in a while. Which is a testament to the popularity of Y/N and the strong belief that she will lead this pack in a positive way for the future. With this, I officially relinquish my role as leader and bestow it to you. May you experience good health, a fortuitous life and no troubles.” He smiles at you as you have the bizarre knowledge that you’re now higher ranking than he is. This is the wolf who has led the Pack since before you were even born, the wolf you had acquiesced to every time when he made a decree. And yet now, he bowed to you.

Well, he didn’t actually bow. But the metaphor was the same. Eyes widening at the thought, you accept his words before turning to look at the Pack. Your Pack. Catching the sight of your family, you see the tears of joy and pride your mom and dad cry while Jimin beams so brightly at the knowledge his little sister had actually done it.

And then you see Jungkook, who’s smiling so brightly at you that his nose is all wrinkled and his eyes have disappeared into the sweetest crescent moons. His cheeks are flushed with a combination of happiness and what you presume to be stress from the presence of so many dominant personalities but he pushes through it for you, focusing firmly on you as he cheers and howls alongside the rest of the Pack as they celebrate.

Getting them to calm down with a gesture, you laugh as the howls continue for a moment before stopping and simply look over the wolves who are now yours. Yours to rule and nourish, protect and discipline if necessary. It’s a big ask for someone who’s simply a teacher, but if you can handle a day full of moody teenagers then really, the Pack would almost be a vacation.

“Thank you, for putting your trust into me to lead you. I will try my best to be fair and kind, an Alpha who you can come to with your worries and stresses. I know that many of you may question me given...how I don’t appear like other Alpha’s but I promise you that I am just as ready to protect and fight for you if necessary. I am here for you and I will respect each of you. In turn, I expect equal amounts of respect back. I may be your leader, but I am not your ruler. Please, if you have any concerns then bring them to me sooner rather than later. And with that, I think that’s enough of discussing politics for the day. I’m sure you’re all waiting to go back to your homes and have your parties so...please enjoy.” Grinning, you stifle the laugh that wants to erupt at the enthusiastic howls and yells from many in the crowd as they begin to disperse.

Election day in your Pack had long been a day that everyone would take off from their normal work, turning it into a day of voting in the morning and partying in the evening to celebrate the election of their new leader. You would spend a few hours visiting random parties tonight throughout the town, making an appearance to them and showing that you were there before settling in at the party your parents would be hosting.

Glancing over at Jungkook, you bit your lip as anticipation roiled in your stomach. Under normal circumstances, the next few hours would be a breeze as you socialised and got to know people. You may not particularly enjoy it, but you were well versed in how to do it thanks to your job. But today?

Today you just wanted to rush home and into the arms of Jungkook. Because tonight you had more important things to do than having a party. Tonight, you were going to join together as mates for the very first time.

You wish that you could say that you enjoyed the parties that you went to that night, but it would be a complete lie to be honest. What you really want to do is get home, spend some time with your family and friends while you were still in a content and happy mood before spending the night with one Jeon Jungkook.

But you were, after all, the leader now. So you didn’t get to be selfish when it came to things like this. Though you kind of wished that you could because as much as you’d ended up wanting this role despite only doing it because Jimin had bugged you enough to sign up, some of the people in the Pack weren’t very accommodating to you. Or even nice really.

You were generalising really, because the vast majority of wolves who you had met and spoken to tonight had been very sweet and congratulatory towards you. Many of them had openly told you that they’d voted for you, leading to you awkwardly thanking them for their support. A lot of them had laughed at your uncertainty regarding their words but they seemed to appreciate how genuine you were being.

Perhaps they thought you might have ended up being like another Alpha who was brusque and almost rude, as if their support was never in question. There were plenty like that in the Pack and you were glad to give them someone who defied their expectations.

But after three hours of driving around town and greeting people, you were just ready to leave. So you give a polite smile to the young couple whose barbecue you’d crashed along with all of their friends and family, including their grandparents who had haughtily told you that they’d voted for Kim Seokjin, a real Alpha.

That had just amused you and you’d shrugged apologetically when they’d told you, telling them that you’d do the best you could for them to meet their expectations. Of course, they’d just sniffed at that but you didn’t see any point in trying to change their mind.

After finally saying goodbye to everyone there, you hop into your car and drive to your parents house with a relieved sensation in your stomach. Pulling up into their drive, you smile brightly at the sight of the cars of all your beloved friends and family, realising that they’d all congregated here for what must have been hours now.

“Ah, here she is. Our noble Alpha.” Greeted you when you walk through the door, Jimin’s bright smile accompanies his sugary sweet words and you snort in amusement, punching his stomach lightly as he goes to hug you. The whine he lets out is overly exaggerated but he embraces you tightly, his emotions genuine.

“Seriously, congrats. Told you that you could do it.” Rolling your eyes at him, you acknowledge his words with a nod before hugging Sana just as tight. She’s already babbling on about the election and how she’d thought it was going to be tense but that you’d made history with the landslide. Of course, she then starts to suggest laws that she’d like to have in place and you take her hands gently, squeezing them.

“Hey, hey. Sana...I love you, but can I please at least have tonight? We can talk about laws tomorrow, I promise you. Okay?” She pouts slightly, her pretty pink lips giving away her eagerness and you just chuckle.

“Sweetheart, what did we say about talking law tonight?” Jimin asks his mate, brows rising slightly with an expectant look and you watch in fascination as your best friend pouted even further, her shoulders dropping.

“To leave it alone for the night. But it’s important we get started on the right foot!” She protests, looking from him to you and you just smile at her. Jimin sighs deeply before wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her cheek affectionately.

“Peanut, I love you, I really do. But I’m sure that Y/N has had a really tiring day and probably just wants to go round and say hi to everyone before dragging Jungkook off.” He’s looking firmly at Sana when he says that but you feel yourself go warm with embarrassment at his words. Not that he’d said anything crude out loud, but because he was perfectly right.

You did want to drag Jungkook off, because you had something very important to do with him. So you take Jimin’s words as permission and give them both a warm smile of happiness before hugging them both tightly together.

“Thank you both for all your support these last few months. I really mean it. I couldn’t have done any of this without you both. Especially you, you weasel. It’s because of you that I probably am going to have a massive headache and a short temper 24/7 with the Pack. I’ve already met some grouchy folk so I’m sure it’s going to be fun.” Jimin laughs loudly at that, his eyes almost disappearing with the intensity of his emotion and he squeezes you even tighter round the neck, causing you to yell as he drags you down.

“That’ll be nothing for my little sister. She’ll put them straight, won’t she?” He teases and you growl, the sound rumbling from your chest without even meaning it. But the wolf inside you is displeased at being caught like this, being restrained, and so before Jimin realises what’s happening, you’ve grabbed his arm and twisted with an enormous amount of force and strength.

A cry leaves him as he gets flung over your body, his ass thumping the ground hard as he lays there with a stunned expression. Not that he should be too surprised really. You’ve done this with him plenty of times over the years so he really should be used to being thrown around by his smaller, younger sister.

Still, it makes Sana laugh with wild abandon at the sight of seeing her mate so thoroughly put in his place. Grinning at her, you give her a high five before heading further into the house and saying hello to the people closest to you.

Your parents give you the tightest hug possible and you can practically feel the pride dripping of them, that their little girl is now the leader of their Pack. It was something they’d told you that you could do as a child but you doubted they’d have ever considered you were actually going to go for it.

“Are you going to quit teaching now? Being the leader is basically a full time job.” Your dad asks, a frown on his face as concern fills his expression. Humming, you shake your head with a smile before squeezing the hand of Jungkook. He’d been talking to them when you’d arrived and had slipped his hand into yours as soon as he’d been able to, the pride in his face possibly equal to the one in theirs.

“No. But I will transfer to the high school here instead. And maybe teach some classes at the local community college for anyone who wants them. I still love teaching and I don’t want to give it up. If anything, I think I want to encourage more people in the Pack to learn. I’m considering offering some cultural lessons to try and broaden the minds of some of our more...reticent members. Maybe offer cultural exchanges by inviting other Pack’s to send a representative and tell us how they operate and live. You know...every little helps right?” Your mom is nodding thoughtfully, her arm looped through your dad's arm and you feel pride at knowing she approved of your thoughts.

“Sounds like a good idea. There’s plenty of people that need to be dragged into the 20th century in our Pack, never mind the 21st century. So if you can succeed in that, then I’ll be a very proud dad.” He grins before hugging you, and you contemplate the fact that you’ve probably never had this much physical contact in years.

“Anyway, as much as I love you all and this is a great party, I’ve already been fed about six times by now so I’m ridiculously full and I’m tired. Are you okay if Jungkook and I head off? I know I’ve barely been-” You barely even get the words out before your mom is pushing Jungkook and you with a tut, rolling her eyes.

“Honestly, you don’t need to apologise. It’s been a big day. For both of you. I’m proud of you too Jungkook, for doing so well with everyone there. So I want you both to go home and just relax! You’ve done enough for today.” Snorting, you let her practically push you out of the door while you manage to wave your goodbyes to everyone, noting the amused expressions on their faces as well.

Getting into the car once more, you turn and look at Jungkook with raised brows. “Ironic that I’ve spent more time with other people at their parties today than with my own parents at my own party.”

“Hey, they understand. Don’t be too worried about it. They’d already told me that they planned on sending you home as soon as you got here to be honest. We all knew you’d be a bit tired and stressed after it all and I don’t think anyone wanted to cause you anymore anxiety than needed after what’s happened.” He says thoughtfully, running his fingers over his lower lip and you hum quietly.

“Are you okay? I’ve been worried about you since I left. It was a lot to take in and you did so well Kook. I’m really proud of you. I can only imagine how hard it was to be there with almost the whole Pack, all those different personalities and dominance battles going on.” Your voice goes soft with worry and you see him smile out of the corner of your eye, reaching out for your hand and intertwining your fingers once more.

“It was hard, yeah. I wanted to run away for most of it but I’ve got a reputation to uphold you know? I’m an Omega, yeah, but I'm also a badass,” He puffs his chest out at that and you snort, gently pushing at him without taking your eyes away from the road too much. “Seriously though, I’m really proud of you too. You were so convinced that no one was going to vote for you because of who you are and how you don’t meet the stereotypes others have for you but...you were wrong. And now you’re our lovely leader.”

“Yeah...you’re right.” Silence falls between you both but it’s not uncomfortable, instead it’s familiar and comforting. Sighing softly, you run your thumb along the back of his hand before smiling once more. You’d managed to do it, despite a year ago being convinced that you wouldn’t even be considered. And along the way, you’d found your mate.

“This morning...what you said...do you still think that?” Jungkook’s voice is soft now and you pause at his words, thinking back and remembering the intimate moment you’d both had in your bedroom. It felt so long ago now, but those emotions came swarming back with a vengeance as you pulled into the parking lot of your apartment building.

“Every word.” Turning the engine off, you look at him with a serious expression and he swallows thickly. His eyes are wide, reflecting the light from the nearby buildings and you feel your heart positively clench at how beautiful he looks. It’s not that he’s innocent, because he’s not, but it’s like he has an innate curiosity and wonder about the world that his eyes can’t seem to hide. As if he wants to learn and see everything before his time ends and you want so desperately to give that to him.

“Me too.” He whispers and you don’t stop yourself from leaning forward in your seat, pressing your lips to his in a kiss that is gentle and yet needy at the same time. The underlying ‘I love you’ is so prominent between you both and you feel the need to mark him. To make him yours and show the whole world that he chose you.

Pulling back, you look at him at him intently and see the way he swallows at whatever he sees in your own eyes. Nipping at his lip playfully, you nose along his cheek before biting softly at his jawline and enjoying the way he gasps.

Sex with Jungkook is more than satisfying and you’ve been pleased to discover that he’s not as submissive as he looks in that department either. There’s days when he takes control and you love it almost as much as the days that he lets you wreak havoc with him. But today is a day when your base instincts will take over, the wolf inside you demanding you dominate your mate to show him that you were capable of protecting him, of loving him and keeping him safe.

Unsurprisingly, Jungkook’s own wolf was obviously telling him to go along with his own instincts as well as he leans his head to one side, revealing the wonderful expanse of golden tan skin stretched over the strong tendons and muscles of his neck. The beautiful skin that is currently unmarked.

“We need to go inside. Now.” You growl and he nods immediately, hands grasping at the door handle before you even finish and you almost want to laugh at his eagerness. But you don’t, because you’re following him every step of the way, almost stalking his steps like the predator you truly were.

The idea of doing this to him normally would be horrifying because it would immediately set off his Omega instincts. And no matter how much he’s managed to suppress them over the years, no matter how much he can pass for something other than what he is, he is still an Omega at the end of the day.

But tonight, the tension in his shoulders wasn’t from fear. It was from anticipation. And from the way he looked back at you with eagerness in those pretty eyes, you got the sense that he was turning this into a little game. The rumble of appreciation rolls from your chest before you even realise and you bite your lip at the sight of him shuddering when you reach the apartment door.

Getting your keys into the door is a bit of a challenge when your mind is solely focused on him. You finally do it though and as soon as the door latches shut behind you, you turn and pull him down for another kiss.

This one is deeper than before and more frantic, the need to join stronger than ever. The two of you leave a trail of clothes through the apartment as you move to the bedroom, his shirt torn from the force of your pull. Humming happily at the feel of smooth, warm skin beneath your palms, you nip at his collarbones playfully and delight in the way he squirms and whines for you.

Running your hands down his toned and muscular stomach, you reach the waistband of his boxers and eagerly pull them down. They slip past his slim hips with complete ease and you resist the urge to salivate at the sight of his cock, bouncing gently as it strains against gravity.

Jungkook is not a stereotypical Omega. He is tall, broad, muscular, tattooed, has a black belt in taekwondo and will snap at anyone if pushed. And his cock is just as beautifully magnificent as the rest of him, not too long to be painful but beautifully girthy and with the most delightful veins that make him whine when you trace over them. In a simple word, Jungkook is physically perfect.

"You're so damn beautiful," The words slip from your mouth reverently and you press your lips to the dip in his hips to a kiss that turns into a nip. "You're perfect and all for me, aren't you?"

As you whisper words of affection, praise and dominance into his skin, you wrap your fingers around his shaft and stroke slowly. The whine he gives it like music to your ears and you growl in appreciation, licking along his stomach before rewarding him with one, slow glide of your tongue along the underside of his cock.

He sighs in contentment at that, his hands clenching and opening repeatedly as he struggles to find something to do with them and you laugh. Pulling back, you stand once more and point to the bed.

"Lay down for me, pretty boy." You almost don't manage to get the words out before he's practically throwing himself on the bed and you have to stop yourself from snorting and ruining the mood. His eagerness to please suddenly is endearing and this is the one Omega stereotype you're glad he embodies.

The sight of him laid out on the bed, his skin almost glowing with health from the soft lighting of the bedside lamp he’d turned on, has you almost turning into a cat as you practically purr in contentment at the sight of him. His big, sweet eyes are focused firmly on you while his cock strains against his stomach, desperate for your touch.

“Good boy.” You praise him sweetly, running your hand along the muscle of his calf and biting your lip at the way he shivers in response. Slowly, you remove the final pieces of your own clothing and delight at the way Jungkook lets out the softest keen at the sight of the damp spot in your panties, a visible sign of just how unbelievably wet you were for him.

It didn’t take much for him to get you going, you’d discovered this in the past, but there’s something particularly delightful about him today. You may not be a typical Alpha but you’d be damned if Jungkook’s willingness to submit right now wasn’t hitting every dominant bone in your body.

Kneeling on the bed next to him, you continue to let your fingers dance along his body in a slow, steady exploration that only heightens his arousal. Everywhere you touch tenses beneath your fingertips and you don’t miss the way his hips subtly move, trying to catch your attention and give him the blessed relief he wants.

But you don’t want to yet. You want to make him desperate for you, to make him whine and pout and cry out for your touch before you finally mark him. The wolf in you demands it, demands his full submission as your mate and you want it as well. From the look of pure need in Jungkook’s eyes, he wants it just as much.

Pressing a kiss to his lips, you dart away from him quickly when he goes to follow and smile at the whine he gives you. Tutting quietly, you begin to kiss down his body in hot, open mouthed kisses that leave a slick mess to follow, a few spots darkening from where your kiss had been particularly forceful.

“What do you want, baby boy? Tell me.” You whisper, biting gently at his hip and enjoying the way he writhes beneath you. There’s almost zero resistance before he’s speaking to you, the subtle whine in his voice telling you he’s trying to hold back.

“I want you. Please. Please. I love you, please.” Pursing your lips, you move down till you’re kissing along his inner thigh, enjoying the way his muscles twitch with need. There’s no missing the way his cock jerks occasionally, his balls tight and firm in your eyesight and you resist the urge to play with them. Not yet.

“Tell me what you want.” The words are repeated back to him and now Jungkook does let out a whine, the sound strained in his throat with frustration and need. But he responds to you perfectly, causing you to grin.

“Please touch my dick. Jerk me off. Lick it. Put your mouth on it. Anything. Please.” He mutters a few more times, almost praying to you with how much he wants your touch on his cock and you pause for a moment to watch him. His face is ever so slightly flushed while his hair isn’t as put together anymore, his hands having ruined what he’d carefully arranged this morning.

“Since you asked so nicely.” You purr to him, voice going low. It’s not really because he asked, but more because you can’t handle not touching him anymore. Not when you want him this badly.

Grasping his cock at the base once more, you give him a slow stroke while squeezing tightly, enjoying how he gasps. A second stroke has his hips jerking, but not nearly as much as when you lick him from bottom to tip, flattening your tongue to try and reach as much of him as you can. The noises he makes are nothing though compared to when you wrap your lips around his head, engulfing him in your mouth and sucking tightly.

It’s pure enjoyment from your part as you take in how he reacts, moving your hand to meet your lips in a rhythm that’s perfect for you both. Head lowering, you press your tongue to him as hard as you can on the way down before hollowing out your cheeks as you rise back up, trying to increase the amount of pressure he’s feeling. The gasps tell you he likes it and you hum, adding vibration to the mix while your free hand moves to cup his balls, running your fingers along him until you find what really makes his hips jerk.

For a few minutes, you continue on like this. Changing up the speed with which you tug on him, the pressure you apply to his cock and how you play with his balls to make sure he doesn’t get too complacent or too near completion. It would ruin the fun if he came too early.

Pulling off him, you begin to lick at his tip almost like you’re enjoying an ice cream, eyes closing as you let your tongue slide around the head of him and find all the places that make him quiver with need. Your hand slows on him as well, squeezing the base of him tightly to stop him from reaching his end if he is near and the reduction in pleasure has him whining your name.

“Please, please. Oh god, please fuck me. Please. I want to be inside you.” He begs desperately, his hands moving to grasp at the covers of the bed as you press kisses to his cock, letting go of it and enjoying the way it stands for a moment for falling back to his stomach with a wet slap from the weight of it. Smirking, you sit up and wipe at your mouth before looking down at him.

His pupils have blown out from lust while his cheeks are a beautiful, rosy pink and his chest is breathing a little heavier than before. Moving over him, you carefully avoid his cock as you lean down to kiss along his neck, biting gently and sucking in other places before moving up to his mouth. It’s already swollen from your previous kiss and the way he keeps biting at them, but it doesn’t stop you from nibbling on his lower lip.

“You want to be inside of me? Do you think you deserve to be in me, baby boy?” You ask the question lightly, whispering the words into his ear and he shivers in response. Jungkook is nodding before you’ve even finished speaking and you hide your smile.

“Yes, yes please. I’ve been good. I was good today, right? Please. Please let me.” Sitting back up, you lift yourself and grasp his cock, straightening it till the tip is brushing against your wet folds. The slight sensation has him making the strangest noises, his throat tight while his hips try to push up and you tut at him.

“Stop pushing. We go at my pace, okay?” He settles down, forcing himself to be still at the thread of dominance you weave through your words before nodding. Feeling a little bad that you’d done that, you lean forward and kiss him gently.

“I’ve got you baby boy, don’t worry. I love you.” You try not to grin at how he almost preens at that, his chest pushing out while happiness and pride fills his eyes. Despite the lust rushing through your body and the incessant desire that makes your pussy ache to have him inside you, your chest feels full of love for him.

Slowly, you lower yourself onto his cock. There’s no foreplay for you, but then you don’t need it given how wet you already are for him. Slowly, he penetrates you inch by inch and you let you the deepest sigh of relief once you’re finally seated on him, clit rubbing against his pelvis as you lean forward ever so slightly.

You feel full and an experimental squeeze of your muscles has slight pleasure rolling through you while Jungkook moans at being so deep inside your warm depths. Biting your lip, you rock your hips slowly and feel the perfect friction as his cock slides out of you before pushing back in just as deep. The slickness of your excitement allows him to glide with each and you hum at how good he feels.

“Fuck baby, you feel so good in me,” Panting slightly, you slowly speed up your movements until the room is filled with the lewd sound of him slipping in and out of your soaked pussy. “Mmmm, Jungkook. Fuck, you’re perfect.”

Half of you isn’t even actually sure what you’re saying anymore to be honest, the sensation of him inside you as you fuck him is all you can really focus on and you’re just saying whatever comes to you. But it’s all praise for the man beneath you, the man who is grasping the sheets so hard to avoid touching you yet because you haven’t given him permission to.

Who is holding himself so steady to avoid pushing up into you, letting you use his body however you want. You love it and opening your eyes, you tell him so while shifting, leaning forwards ever so slightly to lightly scrape your nails along his chest. It makes him writhe and whimper, the sound deep from his throat and you automatically squeeze around his cock when you hear it.

“Good boy.” You whisper absentmindedly, your fingers reaching down to rub at the swollen flesh of your clit. It’s almost hard beneath your touch from how turned on you are and you slick your fingers in the sticky mess before rubbing in a rhythmic circle that has you gasping and tightening.

Rocking your hips on top of him, you take all the pleasure that you can get and slowly, your movements begin to match so every circle of your fingers is complemented by a rock of your hips. You mix it up occasionally, circling your hips and sighing in relief at how Jungkook’s cock presses against every part inside of you that sparks fires of pleasure.

“Touch me Jungkook. I want your hands here,” You take one of them and press it to one of your breasts, making his fingers twist and pull at your nipple in exactly the way you love. “And here.”

His other hand goes to your clit and you press his fingers in exactly the manner that you enjoy the most. It feels even better with the extra stimulation and you whine loudly, the sound mixing with your gasps as you feel almost overwhelmed.

“Are you close?” You whisper to him, opening your eyes after a few minutes of enjoying some of the best sex you’ve ever had with him and he nods quickly. His eyes are scrunched close, jaw tight as he clenches his teeth together in a desperate effort to control himself. Your wolf growls at the sight of it and you feel your chest rumble too, the sound causing Jungkook’s hip to push up automatically.

“I want you to knot me,” Moving to almost lay on him, you kiss and nip at his jaw insistently as his eyes widen suddenly at your words. “I want you to fill me up with your cum until you’re spilling out of me.”

“Seriously?” He pants and his hands still on yours. Looking into his eyes, those beautiful eyes that you love so much, you nod and kiss him deeply. Tangling your tongue with his, your hands move to cup his cheeks almost tenderly as the kiss takes over your thought process. Your hips slow down until you’re simply rolling them, your clit getting the pleasure of rubbing against him and it suddenly changes from sexy to intimate.

Parting from his lips, you pant softly, chest heaving from the effort of riding him for so long before nodding. “I want you to cum in me, and I want your knot. I want you to breed me while I bond with you, fill me up with your pups. Do you understand me?”

His eyes are bigger than ever and you wonder if he’s about to say no or something. Knotting is only done when you’re trying to impregnate and you want that desperately, want to feel him swell inside you until you can’t even move while he fills you up with rope after rope of thick cum. The thought of almost intoxicating and you tighten around him.

“Give me your knot baby, give it to me. I know you can. Don’t you want to give me pups? Watch me grow with them, all with the knowledge that they’re yours? See your Alpha, your leader, all swollen with your pups while I deal with everyone, knowing that they can see I’m yours?” The dirty, dark words whispered into his ear work and he lets out a deep growl of his own, the first time you’ve ever heard him growl.

His hands grasp at your hips, holding you steady as he begins to thrust up into you and you moan in delight at the increased sensations. You encourage him along, nipping at his jaw and continuing to coax him to knot you as you squeeze on his cock tightly, trying to encourage him and you finally begin to feel it.

It starts almost slowly and you’re not sure it’s happening at first, but then you’re certain his cock is beginning to swell in you. Reaching between you both, you rub at your clit exactly how you like as he continues to expand slowly, his jaw clenched so tightly. Any sign of the sweet, innocent Omega you’d fallen for is gone at the moment and you could easily mistake him for an Alpha with how strong he looks.

His hair is matted to his forehead, the strands ink black while his skin shines with the sweat he’s worked up and you’re not sure you’ve ever seen a hotter sight. Though looking between you both and taking in the sight of his cock thrusting into your pussy, there may be one thing hotter.

“Cum for Jungkook. Knot your mate.” Panting into his ear, they must be the magic words because he pushes into you harder than ever, pressing down on your hips to keep you in place while he swells inside you. A deep moan that sounds like it’s been pulled from his chest comes from him and you shudder as your own release takes over, pussy tightening around him as your orgasm washes through you.

Before it finishes, you snarl softly and bare your teeth, the fangs that have grown suddenly biting into the soft skin of Jungkook’s neck as you mark him. He stiffens momentarily before letting out a ridiculously loud groan, his knot growing even bigger and you hum contentedly as you practically feel him orgasming inside you.

The remnants of your own orgasm continue to rush through you and are intensified when Jungkook bites back at your own neck. Almost immediately, you feel the mate bond snap into place between the two of you as you mark each other at the point of orgasm. There’s no ceremony, no special words, just pure instinct that drives you both to fulfil this need.

Pulling your fangs from him, you slowly lick at his neck to help the wounds to heal while he does the same to you. Warmth fills you with the knowledge he’s your mate now while you can feel the oddest sensation of the knowledge that someone else occupies space within you now. You can’t talk to him telepathically or anything like the books, but it’s more just an awareness that he’s there.

A bottomless pit of love and protection for him along with an oath to love only him for as long as you live.

Resting against him, you take a moment to simply enjoy the feeling of being on him while his knot continues to keep you held in place. The knowledge that he could even now be impregnating you is hot and you sluggishly lift your head up to gaze into his own tired eyes. Jungkook gives you a slow smile and you kiss him lazily, realising the sensation feels a little different now that you’re bonded.

“I love you.” You whisper, your dominant flair vanishing in the comfort of his embrace as he wraps his arms to simultaneously hug you and keep you in place to avoid you hurting yourself. A gentle kiss is pressed to your nose before he kisses you once more, a quiet hum of contentment leaving him.

“I love you too.” Neither of you say anything after that, simply enjoying each other as you wait for his knot to go down. When it finally does, there’s an almost uncomfortable feeling as a rush of his cum begins to seep out of you and onto him. You’re used to him orgasming inside you, knotting was the only way to get pregnant and wolves didn’t get STI’s like humans after all, but this was entirely different.

“God, how much did you cum?” Laughing, you shift until you can see between you both. His cock has slipped out of you now, resting against his thigh and shiny with your own excitement. But your thighs and his groin are beginning to become covered in white cum as it drips out of you.

“Well...you did tell me to get you pregnant.” Is all he says, his face innocent and you laugh loudly at that. Nodding slowly, you kiss him once more and enjoy how comfortable he is with you. There’s not much you wouldn’t do for him, you decide to yourself.

“I guess I did. You did a good job...baby boy.” Teasing him for how much he likes his submissive nickname, you watch as his face screws up into a scowl and he goes to reach for you. But you dance out of the way, moving off the bed and heading to the bathroom while he whines quietly.

“Please don’t call me that in public. I’d never live it down.” He begs and you pause at the door frame, looking back at him with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

“Well...I guess the only solution to that is that you give me a reason to make sure I only use it in private...right?”

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xx-vergil-xx · 2 years ago

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I just need you to know that Hounds has both ruined and eternally bettered my life. I just finished a complete re-read started before the two most recent chapters and one set of the endless (hah) sets of imagery really stuck out to me.

It's the way you just so subtly paint Hob as the Sun and Dream as all the stars. Warm gold, summer, dawn and fundamentally human things against the great cold but shining awe of the universe. The way he's a self proclaimed 'one in ten thousand' any yet the axis around which the whole story (and by extent I'd argue half the fandom) rotates.

Sorry this is ramble-y - I could just genuinely write a dissertation on this fic alone. (And from one English/Literature student to another - fuck you for the hamlet quote at the end of ch31!)

hello!! ahh!! thank you so much!!! it's such an unbearable delight to know something I wrote inspires dissertation-levels of fascination, from one person who writes mad literary essays to another this is extremely high praise and thank you so very much <3 <3 <3

(how could I resist the hamlet it was right there like the futility of revenge motif I am not a strong woman I will pepper hamlet in for spice left and right I think abt the "how all occasions do inform against me" monologue GOD I love hamlet and I will abuse it forever)

you handshake me students of literature getting wild and crazy over imagery because YES yes yes yes it's so neat when like someone gets and also loves a motif just yes yes yeah!!!! the sun and the stars!!!! it's them!!!!

like. like and I also think SO much abt distance with that image?? like the sun is a single star very close, the galaxy many stars very far away, and like. how they are parts of each other and still distinct. hob is all immediacy, you know? he's the action of living he's the axis as u so aptly put it he is there and present and felt because his life is so sensory and so like, in the moment, in the flesh. and then there's dream, who is himself a composite of stars (he's a whole mishmash of human dreams and fears and loves and stories) but so removed from the experience of them –– he is so far from the actual, real burning, the temperature sensation, the sweat, even the reality and immediacy of the light. and how the universe is big and beautiful and very far away. and how maybe the empty space wants to feel warm, how maybe the star wants a darkness to illuminate.

I think so much about the sun and stars thing really being a symbol of how they are refractions of each other -- the patron of stories and the man who cultivates them like the most prized garden. imagine, imagine you're a being whose entire role is to generative and foster narrative, to always tell the story, and then you meet someone who tells you stories. imagine you are a human who lives forever accruing stories to tell that you can't –– who would believe you? –– and you meet someone who you can give all that to. like. my god.

anyways anyways I got in a Rant Headspace there but just, thank you so very much for your unbelievably kind words, I appreciate them so deeply <3 <3 <3 and thank you for dropping by :) <3

#hounds #vergil says hello #thanks for the ask friend it made my spirits soar #the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #they are two corners of the same prism #two bolts of the same cloth #they are just #like my god neil gaiman you've done it again #you've wrought another unbearably wonderfully cosmically balanced immortal eldritch couple #like how does he do it #them. I love. them

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heyitsmerose · 4 years ago

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Letting Go

Pairing: Broken!Reader x Stranger!Yunho

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt Comfort

Word Count: 12.1k

Summary: You've never felt more down. Despite having a loving family and studying at a good school you still aren't happy. You may have many objective luxuries, but you don't have anyone to talk to. The stress from all around you is getting to you and you finally break. You can't take this anymore. Deciding to finally take matters into your own hands and end this for good, you go to your favourite bridge one last time to say your goodbyes to the world. Until someone stops you that is...

Warnings/Disclaimer: In no way do I mean to romanticise mental illness. Through this oneshot, I want to show depression and other mental heath issues for what they are. I will not sugar coat anything and will show them for how exhausting and painful they are. Again, I am not writing this to romanticise mental illness, rather provide comfort and create a safe space to talk about mental health. Remember, it's never too late to get help, and I'm always here for you. It can be as small as personally messaging me how you're feeling today, I'm here to listen :) This oneshot will obviously be talking about suicide, depression, obsession and mental health in general. If these topics trigger you, this oneshot may not be for you.

Suicide

Depression

Swearing

Mentions of Sexual Abuse

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*I've spent a few weeks on this, I'm sorry if there are spelling errors, I've read the entire thing maybe 5-6 times.

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Facing the window in front of you, you sighed. You felt numb. It was raining and was around 6 pm. It was cloudy outside and the rain made the sky a few shades darker than normal. One of your windows was opened and you could smell the rain. The earth smell that made you feel all giddy inside. Excitement used to bubble inside you whenever you recognized the familiar scent of the wet earth, it indicated that it was going to rain. You loved the rain. It felt so comforting and the sound of the raindrops calmed you. At least that's how it used to feel. Now, you feel numb. Unaware of your surroundings and unfazed by a natural phenomenon that once caused you joy.

You sighed looking outside. It was frustrating. The rain that once comforted you was now frustrating. The constant pitter-patter noises bothered you and you were unable to get anything done. You slammed the window shut with all the force you could muster and plopped yourself back on your chair, redirecting your attention to what was on the desk. Ahh right, you had homework to finish. The bright screen of your laptop burned your eyes and caused them to feel sore but you couldn't care less.

You had 2 essays due tomorrow and although that didn't sound like a lot it was just the tip of the iceberg. Not only did you have 2 essays to start (and finish on the same day), you also had an oral presentation you had to give tomorrow for your music class. You didn't have your presentation ready and you were presenting to over 50 other people.

You had everything you could have possibly wanted. Your parents were not too rich but you were quite well off with a duplex in a multi-story apartment. Your dad had a stable career and was the country manager of a company giving him a good amount of power. Your mother was a social butterfly and had many connections. They sent you to a private school and let you study what you wanted. Although you didn't have any close friends in school, you had a few people you sat with.

See? You had everything you could have possibly wanted but you were still miserable. You knew this wasn't normal. For the past few months, you felt numb. There wasn't a better word to describe it. You felt apathetic and unfazed by everything. You were slowly starting to lose interest in the things you once found thrilling and fun and felt disconnected from reality. Your own parents felt like strangers and you felt like you couldn't talk to them. In actuality, your parents were loving and provided you with everything you could have possibly wanted. They took really good care of you and regularly showed affection. They were also quite understanding and were easy-going and fun. The fact that your parents are so caring makes you feel all the more guilty about telling them. You can't tell anyone.

You huffed, running your hands through your hair roughly. You gripped the roots of your hair and began to feel it again. The feeling of darkness creeping into your mind.

"what's the point of this?"

"I want this to stop"

"When will it get better?"

"Does it ever get better?"

In all honesty, you felt hopeless. You had to begin and finish 2 whole essays and prepare your presentation. Listening to music, eating anything, or even taking a break were useless, they would just distract you. You chewed the end of your pencil enough to make the end of it dent. Your teeth hurt but you continued doing so. At least the physical pain would distract you from this crazy workload. Or so you thought... You began to type on your laptop. You were writing your mid-term paper and were given the freedom to pick whatever topic you wanted as long as you felt like it expressed your emotions.

You typed the first thing that came to mind.

"I want to escape. I keep wanting for this to stop, I keep expecting everything to get better. It never does. It's an endless cycle of work and just more work. I feel like a robot and in all honesty, the lack of emotion is the only thing I'm feeling"

Your face had a stoic expression as your fingers fluttered across the keyboard. The gentle noise of keys clicking was the only thing heard for another hour or so. You didn't take any breaks and just wanted to get it done. At this point, you didn't care if it was good or even decent, you just wanted to get it done. That was very unlike you though. You were no topper, but you considered yourself quite hardworking and diligent. You were slowly falling behind though, but you couldn't care less. You just wanted to get it over with.

In the essay you wrote, you didn't get too personal, you simply wrote about your feelings and personified them. You spoke about your feelings as if they were an obstacle in your way. Despite being quite specific, you made it seem as though you were not talking about yourself. You fixed up the grammar and printed out your paper, stapling it, ready to submit it tomorrow. You looked outside and by now it was way darker. It was around 8:30 and it was time for dinner.

You went downstairs to get your plate of dinner and greeted your mom.

"Y/n, you're finally here, I almost forgot you were even living in this house" She chuckled and your dad joined in. You didn't laugh though.

"Hey, cheer up, your mom was just kidding, is everything alright?" Your dad chimed in.

In all honesty, you knew your mom didn't mean it, she was just kidding, but mocking you for the amount of workload you had didn't seem right. The question by your dad, however, completely caught you off guard. In your heart, you knew you weren't. You noticed how you started drifting off and spacing out while someone was talking to you. You noticed how you stopped feeling joy and noticed how you never had time for anything but school. Your face was glued to the ground and you nodded. You didn't want to lie, but you couldn't help it. You'd feel guilty for possibly making them feel like it was their fault.

Your parents both just sighed and your mom held your hand. She brought you to sit at the dining table and looked at you with nothing but love in her eyes.

"Y/n... We know something is bothering you. You know you can tell us anything right?" Your mom asked as she cupped your cheek. You looked back up at her and saw both of your parents looking at you worriedly.

You could feel the back of your eyelids stinging. Your throat got dry and you felt a burning in your nose. This was it. This was your chance to finally tell them how you felt. You wanted to tell them everything. From how you felt incompetent, to the constant stress and pressure. You wanted to finally break down your walls and tell them that you lacked the feelings you felt before. But you couldn't. The lump in your throat grew and you felt the corners of your eyes getting wetter. You couldn't get any words out. You badly wanted to just let it all out, but the words were stuck in your throat.

You also couldn't just break down all of a sudden or they would get really worried. You couldn't let them watch you break down. You would never forgive yourself if they ever thought the way you were feeling was because of them.

You simply sucked in a deep breath of air and looked away before they noticed anything was wrong.

"I just have a lot of work. I have more to do though, so if you could excuse me." You said, your voice wavering as you walked away from them.

"What about your dinner?" Your mom asked pointing at the counter. You just sighed and picked up a plate of food. Your hands trembled and your lip quivered from the overwhelming situation and you rushed to your room as fast as you could. As soon as you left, your mom just sighed and looked at your dad and her face showed immense concern. He brought her into his warm embrace reassured her. You would come to them when the time was right. You would eventually tell them what was bothering you. right? Although you didn't want them to feel guilty, they already did.

The second you reached your room upstairs you locked the door behind you. You tossed the food into the dustbin near your desk and put the plate aside. You felt guilty. Every day your mom would make you a full course meal only for you to throw it away without even having a bite. You couldn't help it though. You had a lot of work to do and eating was not your first priority. Besides, you already had lunch. This was not a rare occurrence. You would usually skip breakfast and dinner, directly eating lunch. Your stomach growled but you couldn't care less.

You rushed into the bathroom in your room and closed the door behind you. Your back slid down the door and your hands flew to your face. You almost blew your cover. It was quite an overwhelming situation. Your hands covered your mouth as the first sob wracked through your body. You were lucky that you were in the bathroom, in your room, on the second floor, it was practically impossible for anyone to hear you.

Your hands moved up to your hair as you gripped it tightly in between your fingers. Slowly, more cries came out. The bathroom echoed with your sobs and heavy breathing. You tried muffling your cries to no avail. You sobbed loudly while you shoved your palm against your mouth trying to stop yourself from crying but nothing worked. You tried digging your fingernails into your palm to distract yourself from all the emotional pain with physical pain but it still didn't work.

You tried breathing steadily only to break out into sobs a few seconds later. You let out gut-wrenching sobs that had been bottled up for too long now. Your throat was raw and your nose was red.

"Make it stop" You whispered to yourself. Were you being dramatic? Were you overreacting? You didn't know and you didn't care. Your sobs slowly died down but your hands were still clamped over your mouth trying to get them to stop completely.

After a few minutes, you went to wash your face. You noticed your eyes were red and your hair was not in a bun anymore but was now all over the place. You sighed and washed your face with cold water trying to remove any traces of that sudden breakdown. Besides, you just wasted around 20 minutes of your time, crying when you could have been working and finishing off your other essay.

You didn't care to change your clothes and sat back on your desk. You sighed and looked out the window again. The rain had died down and there was now just a cool breeze. A layer of mist had collected after the rain coating the trees and plants outside. Despite living in the city, your window faced a big green space. In the mornings there were usually only around 3 people at max, making it quite empty. At night it was even more serene and lonely.

You drew shapes on your windows while trying to think of a topic to write your essay about. Your second essay was supposed to be an analysis report about any experiment of your choice.

You chose to write about the expectancy-value theory.

The Expectancy Value Theory suggests that motivation for a given behavior or action is determined by two factors: (i) expectancy, ie, how probable it is that a wanted (instrumental) outcome is achieved through the behavior or action; (ii) value, ie, how much the individual values the desired outcome.

You scoffed as you read it. Lies. All you've been taught to do is the work you've been given in school. You didn't want to do it. You didn't find it interesting and you couldn't care less about failing if it was up to you. The only reason you were working was because school wanted you to. If you had the option, you would gladly stop. So no, the expectancy-value theory, in your mind was not correct, since for some people, ie. you, motivation didn't come from yourself, rather it came in the form of forced requirements from others. Others have high expectations and expect good quality work from you, but if you were given the choice, you would take care of yourself instead of focussing so much on your studies. The expectancy theory, in your mind, as false as the only thing influencing you to work was other people forcing you.

You decided that was the perfect thesis for your essay and began to write. Although the point of the essay was to discuss the findings of the experiment, you went in a different direction. You wrote your entire essay about disproving that stupid experiment. You didn't discuss the data results but instead countered them with your own data. After another hour or so of aggressive typing and writing shit about Martin Fishbein, you decided you were finally done and decided to finish off your essay. You were happy with the way it turned out, although it was certainly not what was asked of you.

You wrapped up your essay by simply restating your points and you printed that too. By this point, it was already 11 pm and although you weren't sleepy, you just wanted to get this over with and rest. Your final task for tomorrow was your music presentation. All you had to do was pick your favorite classical piece and write a bit about it.

Music was one of the only hobbies you liked. You took pride in composing and making music, however, your school had ruined it for you. The only things they made you do were to analyze pieces of music and discuss the elements of music and their implication. You never got to actually compose or make your own music so you started to dread it as a subject too.

You picked up the first piece that came to mind. Dvorak's 'Humoresque'. Wow, how original, you thought. You began to listen to the piece and understand it better. As a kid, this used to be your favorite piece. Now? It just feels bland. It doesn't feel the way it used to. You began scribbling a few quick points about the song before beginning your presentation.

After taking notes, you finally began working on your presentation. In total, it took around 4 hours to finish and it was exactly 4 am. You sighed and uploaded your presentation to a pen drive before packing up your bag for school.

You had to be up for school by 7 anyway, so you'd get 2-3 hours of sleep at max. You hopped into bed as soon as you were done, not caring about putting anything back or even changing your clothes.

Unfortunately, unlike you hoped, you weren't able to fall asleep as soon as your head crashed onto the pillow. Instead, your mind preoccupied with other things was way too clouded with stressful thoughts to let you relax enough to fall asleep.

You tossed and turned in bed as your stomach growled. You huffed and tried blocking out the feeling. You didn't regret skipping dinner, it was necessary to finish off your work. You sighed and closed your eyes, trying to sleep. You lied for at least 10 minutes simply doing nothing. You tossed and turned trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in, but nothing worked. Your mind was simply too preoccupied to let you rest. you closed your eyes trying to calm yourself, only for your thoughts to go back to yesterday evening. You remembered the short conversation with your parents and how they seemed genuinely concerned. Did they know what was happening to you? They were your parents, after all, they probably figured something was wrong.

Thinking about your relationship with them, you felt guilty. You realized how your conversations were never longer than 5-10 minutes and you were always the one to cut them short. You didn't spend as much time with them as you used to, instead of dedicating all your time to studying.

All of a sudden, you remembered how they used to take care of you when you were a child. You remembered the first time they taught you how to ride a bike, your first day of school, and your middle school graduation. You can't remember the last time you all were together as a family and enjoyed yourselves. You were usually too busy and you regretted it.

Unconsciously, you sniffled, your eyes getting watery again. You huffed, roughly wiping and rubbing your eyes, embarrassed that all it took for you to get emotional was a few memories. You sighed shakily, trying to get your thoughts away from that, or else you knew you'd have another breakdown. Still not being able to fall asleep for another 45 minutes, you gave up.

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You got up and checked your phone, only to see that the time was 6:30 am. How perfect. You didn't bother combing your hair and tied a messy bun, too tired and too unbothered to even attempt to look decent. You hopped into the bathroom, brushing your teeth and grabbing a towel. You looked back into the mirror as you did yesterday during your mini breakdown. You had dark circles under your eyes, your eyes were red and your nose was tinted pink. You couldn't care less though.

You hopped into the shower and turned the temperature to max coldness, trying to wake yourself up to make yourself look less tired and well... less dead. You shivered at the temperature but bared it for the sake of looking slightly presentable and more awake.

You grabbed your soap and began to lather some on your hands. A few seconds later though, you felt a mild stinging sensation on both of your palms. You quickly washed away the soap as it was starting to burn and inspected your hands. Your palms. They were bruised and cut slightly. You stared at your palms and the crescent-shaped cuts on both of your palms. There were exactly 4 crescent-shaped cuts on each palm with a bunch of bruising around it. You realized it was from digging your fingernails into your palms yesterday. You did so in an attempt to stop crying but it didn't work. Oh well, now you have this to worry about as well, could your life get any worse? You made sure to carefully lather on the soap being wary of the cuts on your palms.

After you took a bath and got ready, you made sure to double-check that you had packed both your essays and the presentation pen drive. After confirming, you grabbed your backpack and hurried downstairs. Although you felt guilty for randomly rushing out during dinner, you didn't want to confront your parents. The nerves from your upcoming presentation were creeping up onto you and you were beyond terrified. You didn't feel hungry and didn't want any confrontation.

You quickly hurried down the stairs and avoided your parents' eyes. At this point, it had become regular for you to leave the house without a word. Your mom wouldn't bother too much since she knew you'd usually buy yourself something to eat at school itself. Or so she thought. It was a lie you told her a long time ago. Despite this, due to your unfinished conversation yesterday you feared they would come after you or confront you so you avoided them at all costs and rushed outside. Lucky for you, your parents didn't mind too much and carried on with what they were doing.

Outside, you noticed how the mist from yesterday had settled and was now fogging up the roads slightly. The mist collected on the grass on the side of the sidewalks in the form of dewdrops and you could smell the same earthy smell. You checked your phone once to get a glimpse of the time and realized you were quite early. Despite this, you still couldn't calm your nerves.

You gripped both straps of your backpack, not lifting your head. You stared at the ground kicking small pebbles along your way. The entire walk to school was quite uneventful and not too interesting. You mainly stayed on the same side of the sidewalk and luckily nothing came in your way. It was a 5-7 minute walk to school since you lived quite close to school and didn't see the point in wasting gas.

Once you reached your school, you tried ignoring everyone in your way, just trying to submit your essays. You were quite nervous and just wanted to remove some burden from your shoulders so submitting your essays early in the morning would be the best option. You rushed into the school building immediately setting your target on your science class that was a few floors up.

Fortunately, the hallways and stairways were mostly empty with just a few teachers and staff and maybe 5-7 students. That was one of the perks of being this early, you could get things done freely without being rushed by the students. You decided to stop at the principles office first, and then drop off your science essay.

You had to drop off your mid-term essay outside the principles office where a few teachers were collecting them. You made your way to the outside of your principal's office to drop off your paper. While walking there, the pace of your heart quickened, although you were simply dropping off your essay, something about being this close to the principles office didn't sit right with you. As you got closer you could feel the tingly feeling in your stomach, caused by the nerves. You carefully walked right in front of the drop-off desk and greeted the teacher. You were asked to fill in your name and the date dropped off, so you were handed a pen.

You were mindful not to let the pen put pressure against the cuts in your palm, but couldn't help but wince softly as the pen brushed against them as you picked it up. The teacher simply looked at you and you forced a smile. As soon as you dropped off your essay, you rushed away from there as soon as possible to a less scary area.

You made your way to your science class and dropped off your essay about expectancy value and took your seat in class. You were quite proud of the essay you wrote since you felt like you portrayed your opinion quite well. You also had science first period anyways, so you took your usual seat near the window in the front of the class and started to unpack.

You waited for at least 10 to 15 minutes before your science teacher came into class. He wasn't surprised that you were early since you usually came quite early. When you noticed he entered class, you immediately averted eye contact and looked somewhere else. In all honesty, your science teacher scared you.

All the other girls gushed over how he was just 5 or 6 years older than you and was handsome. You didn't see what they saw in him as you knew he had ulterior motives. You noticed the blatant sexism in class and how he always paid more attention to the girls, explaining it to them in detail while just brushing off the guys. You noticed how whenever everyone left class, he would stare at the exposed legs of the female students caused by the knee-length skirt that was a part of the school uniform. You noticed how he would favor the girls in general, letting them have their way, even letting them use their phones in class from time to time.

Although he hadn't made any advances, he was still really sleazy in general, and the very thought of him creeped you out. You didn't have too many personal encounters with him, just a few weird looks here and there, so you tried to avoid him as much as you could. When he noticed that you were not paying attention to him he sighed and collected his things. Usually, he would simply leave you alone, knowing school would start soon, but since the both of you were quite early he tried making conversation.

"Hey Y/n, Good morning!" He said all of a sudden. You whipped your head up, surprised that he was talking to you since he had never done so before.

"Hi" You hesitantly replied making sure to not seem too nervous, but also look a little busy so he would leave you alone.

"How's everything going? Are you feeling okay?" Although you knew he asked you that question simply wanting to ask you how you were feeling, you couldn't help but think to last night when you had a similar conversation with your parents.

"U-um, I'm fine, yeah, I'm good" You stuttered, diverting your attention elsewhere indicating you were done with the conversation.

He simply sighed and sat back down on top of his desk. He noticed that you had submitted your science essay/report and decided to read a bit of it before class started hopefully to give you someone on one feedback.

He picked up the paper and the rustling of the pages alerted you. You looked back at him only to notice that he was reading your essay. You felt nauseous and giddy all of a sudden. He wasn't supposed to be reading your essay now, especially in front of you. Your mouth got dry and you tried to calm yourself. You looked away so he wouldn't notice your stare as he continued reading for the next 2 or 3 minutes.

You looked back at him from time to time and noticed how his eyebrows were scrunched. You saw his somewhat disappointed expression and your stomach dropped. Was your essay not okay? Was he going to fail you? Your breaths got shallower and you looked around trying to calm yourself. All of a sudden, your science teacher spoke.

"Y/n, this was not what was asked of you" He stated matter-of-factly. You felt frustrated and embarrassed and your heart was in your throat. You tried clearing your throat to be able to speak. You looked back up at him, finally making eye contact, and gulped.

"I don't- I don't understand, I did what was-" You finally got out, only to be interrupted by him again.

"No, you didn't. It seems like you're disproving the experiment instead of proving it true. Meet me after class, we can discuss how to fix it." He stated, looking at you with a distressed smile. You forced back a smile and quickly looked away.

Eventually, students began to fill up the class and around 10 minutes after that dreadful conversation, the class had finally started. Unfortunately for you, you kept spacing out and couldn't pay attention to what was being taught due to your mind lingering on your stupid science essay. You began to think it was your fault. Maybe you hadn't studied hard enough? Maybe you just weren't smart enough? You put your head down and proceeded to bear the next 85 minutes or so, absentmindedly.

Luckily for you, your teacher hadn't called on you even once. He simply kept teaching and asking other students questions. You noticed how he tried to make jokes from time to time while all the girls giggled, and although your head was down, you knew he most likely had a smug smile on his face. You scoffed and kept getting lost in your thoughts. After what felt like an eternity, you finally through the class.

Now, it was time to finally confront your science teacher after class and you were not looking forward to it. You acted as if you were packing your bag so the other students wouldn't suspect anything. The last thing you wanted was for them to think you were spending time outside class with your science doing god knows what.

After everyone left, you sat back at your desk and waited for him to call on you, or notice you hoping, to get this over with as soon as possible. He grabbed your paper again and went through it again. You sighed and looked down. He slowly shifted his gaze towards you and ushered for you to grab a chair and sit next to his desk.

You huffed and picked up your chair dragging it to his desk. You plopped it down and took a seat on it. He sighed and brought his chair next to yours sitting on it as well. He began to explain that the experiment that he expected was a 'scientific' one with tangible results instead of a "social experiment" to quote directly. You huffed getting annoyed, how could he say that psychological studies weren't as valid? They were equally important. You sighed and looked away getting frustrated.

He wanted to explain it better, and went to get his pen that was next to you. Instead of asking you to give it to him, like a normal person, he rested his hand on your knee, reaching over to get it. On the outside, you kept your cool but inside you were freaking out. You glared daggers at his hand which was on your knee and didn't lift your gaze, as if staring at his hand was going to make him take it off.

Even after he reached over and got his pen, his hand was still on your thigh. He began to talk about some random experiment but you weren't paying attention. Why wasn't he taking his hand off you? You tried adjusting and moving your leg, crossing them over, to get him to let go, but his grip was firm.

"Hey, Y/n are you listening?" He clarified all of a sudden. You slowly pulled your gaze away from your knee and looked him dead in the eye. You glared at him, indicating you didn't want this. Despite this, he just didn't know when to stop, did he?

"Hey, calm down, what's wrong?" He asked sincerely. If only his actions reflected the same care, you knew he knew what he was doing. In an attempt to calm you down, his hand moved further up, grasping your thigh. You gasped and looked up at him with your mouth agape.

"Let go." You said sternly, you knew he was your teacher but he had to know his limits.

"Hey, I didn't mean it like that, it's alright," He said, the grip on your thigh becoming tighter. No, this was most definitely not okay. Due to the thin fabric of your school uniform skirt, you could feel his hand completely. You scrunched your eyebrows in disgust as you tried scooting backward. He got up though, towering over your shorter figure. You tried pulling away only for him to grip tighter.

"I didn't do anything" He stated firmly, grasping your wrist. He held your wrist tightly, not letting go. You cowered under him, still trying to pull yourself away.

"You don't want this?" He asked shamelessly. You shook your head rapidly, tears stinging in your eyes. He scoffed, roughly releasing your arm. You sighed, instantly getting as far away from him as possible, grabbing your backpack. You quickly shoved your remaining stationery in the first zip you found and threw your backpack over your shoulder, rushing out.

As you were about to leave though you heard him speak up again.

"Do not speak of this to anyone. I'm afraid I will have to fail you for this paper" He said trying to make you feel guilty. You couldn't care less though, without looking back, you nodded your head and left the class.

You cleared your throat as it had closed up. You realized you were crying in the middle of the hallway, so you quickly rushed to the toilet. Luckily, no one saw you, but you still wanted to get away, to freshen yourself up. You splashed water on your face trying to forget what happened in class a few minutes ago.

After that terrifying incident with your science teacher, the rest of the day was quite uneventful. You eventually got through your other subjects including music, and your presentation was a disaster. You weren't able to pay attention to what you were saying since your mind was still in different places. You stuttered your words and kept repeating the same thing.

Your peers realized you were distracted and your teacher knew you were bothered since your presentations were usually quite clear and informative. Thus, this time, they decided to let you off the hook. You were thankful that no one commented on that crappy presentation and simply went back to your seat.

Since you had music for the last period itself you were able to call it a day right after. You decided to skip your after-school commitment since you simply had too much on your mind.

After that shitty day, you decided to try to get your mind off of it by taking a walk in the green space near your apartment. You knew that it would mostly be empty right now as it was a weekday and because it was almost 4 pm, meaning it would most likely rain again.

You were still 5 minutes away from home, so you decided to walk home to the green space nearby. The entire walk there was quite silent. You took this time to try to process and understand the emotions you were feeling. It was getting fairly chilly due to the cold breeze, wind, and mist blowing. You folded both of your arms, rubbing them up and down, trying to get rid of the coldness.

The walk was quite short and you reached there in no time. Since the green area was right in front of your apartment, you could see your window from it. As soon as you reached, you saw your car leaving the apartment. Peeking around the corner, you realized it was your car. Your dad must have just left to go see your grandparents. You tried to hide a little, just in case. If your mom saw you here she would be disappointed that you lied to your dad about meeting your teacher after school.

You found a bench that faced away from your window just in case, so no one from your apartment could see your face. By the time, you found a good spot and settled and sat down, it was around 4:30 pm. You didn't really have a reason for coming to the park. You simply wanted to get your mind off of school, the workload, the stress, and what happened in the morning, so now that you were here, you didn't know what to do. Fortunately, tomorrow was slightly lighter. You didn't have any assessments due tomorrow, but you wanted to check in with your peers to ask them what you missed in the after-school session today and revise that before tomorrow.

Other than that though, you didn't know what to do. Due to this, you ended up spacing out. You simply sat on the bench rubbing your knees from the freezing wind from time to time just staring into the abyss. Quite honestly, it didn't feel forced, awkward or uncomfortable, it felt... calming. You felt a lot of comfort in the fact that you could just take time to process everything. Your way of doing that? Sitting out in the cold breeze, staring at nothing, mind blank. It didn't feel like a waste of time and you definitely didn't regret spending your time gazing at the nature.

Ever since you were young, you had a habit of counting the birds in trees or on the ground. Today was no different. Now that you were out in the nature, it made it easier to count them. You didn't do it for any particular reason, it was just a way of coping and de-stressing. You sat for a good 2 hours just observing everything around you and not doing anything. This included counting birds, staring into nothingness, daydreaming, and spacing out. You were suddenly interrupted by a honking car nearby.

You checked the time and realized it was 6 already. You freaked out and instantly got up, picking your bag. You didn't even realize it had started to drizzle and your sweater/school uniform started collecting water in the form of small droplets. You grabbed your bag, slinging it over your back, walking home, which was just a minute away, right opposite the park. You looked around making sure nobody saw you. Although you quite liked sitting out and simply doing nothing, you could understand how other people might have thought you were absolutely crazy for sitting out and doing nothing for 2 and a half hours.

You sighed looking around. You didn't want to go home just yet and didn't have anywhere else to go. The rain started getting a little heavier and you just gave up, looking up at the sky. Your clothes instantly clung to your figure and you shivered at the coldness.

You decided to take a walk around the nearby neighborhood since you didn't have anywhere else to go. This was actually quite rare. You usually never had the time to come outside and think about your life or reflect on anything as you were always cooped up in your bedroom doing work.

You huffed, rubbing your hands together. By now, your hair and clothes were drenched and your face was covered in water drops. You decided to visit the Mapo bridge to view the Han river from above. Ever since childhood, it was one of your favorite places as you were able to see the Han river below you, the Yeongdeungpo district to your left, and the Mapo district to your right. It had always been a calming sight.

It would take around 10-15 minutes to get there by car from your house but since you didn't really have access to a car right now, you had to walk. You knew it would take at least 45 minutes to get there but you still didn't care.

Unlike the two hours you spent at the park doing literally nothing, this felt different. You thought about the events happening in your life over the past few days, weeks, and months deciding to reflect on them during your journey.

You thought about your parents. How they always welcomed you with open arms while you often gave them the cold shoulder. You felt guilty that was for sure.

You thought about your friends. You had no close friends and the ones you had were slowly starting to drift away. You hadn't sat with them or even talked to them in over 2 weeks.

You thought about your studies. How you always stayed up late doing homework and taking notes while it never paid out. Instead, your crappy work just got you in more trouble.

You thought about the incident with your teacher today. How he touched you inappropriately and gripped your thigh. You shivered, pulling your skirt down slightly.

Unconsciously, tears had started to fall from your eyes. Luckily it was raining so nobody noticed anything too out of place. Despite this, you definitely got some weird stares. At first, the tears were silent. Your face was stoic while tears poured out of your eyes. Eventually though, recalling the painful memories and feelings was too much and your eyebrows furrowed. Your bottom lip trembled as you tried to contain your cries. It started off as light whimpers and occasional gasps.

You rubbed at your eyes and felt yourself losing control. Your cries got louder and you had to clasp a hand over your mouth. At this point, you didn't really care about anything else in the world and were overwhelmed by pain.

You threw your backpack onto some random chair god knows where, and continued walking. No without your backpack you felt freer, and both your hands flew to your face, as you walked in the cold rain.

Meanwhile, you had reached Mapo bridge and began to walk across the pedestrian section. Since it was raining, almost no one was on the bridge and you could finally let your emotions out freely. Your gasps got louder and you let out a strangled sob. Your hands flew to your face trying to cover it up, only for it to be followed by more cries.

As you walked to the middle of the bridge, stumbling across your steps not paying attention to what you were doing. You read the signs on the bridge.

"많이 힘들었구나" (It must be very hard)

"잘 지내지" (How are you)

"파란 하늘을 봐 봐" (Look at the blue sky)

They were mocking you. It was hard, you were not okay and nothing could make this pain better. Your eyes unconsciously closed your eyes and you let out a string of sobs. You choked on your tears, covering your face with your hands sobbing into them.

You rubbed at your eyes but nothing would stop this pain. You looked up at the Han river and thought for a moment. You looked down over the railing of the bridge and noticed the drop.

This was your chance. This was your chance to let go of all your pain and finally be free.

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Yunho was out with his friends. It was a rainy day and he had just gotten back from practice. On rainy days such as this one, he would often simply go on a drive with Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Wooyoung. They were the three that enjoyed the rain and loved going on long drives. Their building was in Mapo but they decided to take a drive over to Yeongdeungpo since they had the rest of the day off.

The Mapo bridge was actually quite empty today. There weren't any cars or any people on the bridge. Since this was quite a rare occurrence, they decided to savor the moment and drive slowly enjoying their playlist while listening to the rain.

Wooyoung was driving while Seonghwa and Yunho were in the back, eating snacks and Hongjoong was picking a playlist. After popping a gummy bear in his mouth, Yunho decided to look outside and observe the Han river. All of a sudden though, around a hundred meters in front of their car near the left railing, a moving figure caught his eye. He was surprised that anyone would be out in the rain at this time. As they got slightly closer he realized they didn't have an umbrella either. As the car got even closer he realized that the figure was a girl. Your hair was drenched and so were your clothes. He stared at you weirdly wondering what on earth you were doing. You simply slid down the railing sitting on the floor, sobbing your eyes out and Yunho's eyes widened. He realized you were crying as your entire body was shaking with sobs and your hands were over your face.

He suddenly felt the urge to help and spoke up.

'Woo, slow the car for one second" He whispered softly and Wooyoung simply looked back and Yunho shrugging. He obliged and slowed down the speed of the car. Yunho continued to observe you. He didn't want to get out of the car since it was raining and he didn't have an umbrella but continued to watch you.

He watched the way your hands came up from your face and you gripped the roots of your hair. He watched how you tried to cover up your cries by cupping your hand over your mouth from time to time only for your to cry harder as your eyes squinted shut.

While they were driving past slowly, everyone was minding their own business while Yunho was still staring at you. Hongjoong had realized how Yunho was giggly before and then became silent all of a sudden and decided to check up on him. Hongjoong looked up at Yunho from the rear mirror, only to find his gaze locked on something outside. Hongjoong followed his gaze and found you as well. He saw that you were crying and stayed silent not knowing what to do.

Yunho was still looking at you and didn't notice how his leader was now also intrigued. He noticed how you roughly rubbed at your eyes getting up. He thought that you were done crying and that this was just a mini breakdown. Besides, everyone had bad days and maybe your way of letting it out was crying in the rain. Hongjoong averted his eyes as he saw you get up, giving you some privacy while Yunho kept his gaze locked on you.

He noticed how you were now facing the railing and looking out at the river. All of a sudden though, he saw you take off your shoes and a sudden wave of urgency washed over him.

"Stop the car!" He yelled at Wooyoung, while everyone in the car visibly flinched at his sudden voice, looking at him with concern. Wooyoung abruptly stopped the car, causing everyone to jerk slightly. The door immediately flew open and Yunho ran out of the car not caring whether his clothes got wet. Seonghwa had gasped and scooted to Yunho's side, peeking through, looking at what was going on.

Meanwhile, Yunho's intuition was correct. He knew something was wrong and the second you took off your shoes, he knew what you were trying to do. After you took off your shoes, you firmly grasped the railing of the bridge, hoisting yourself up, to sit on it. You looked around you, making sure no one was watching, although you didn't care at this point. Your mind was made up.

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You slowly scooted to the end of the railing, your hand tightly gripping the railing. You looked down, all that was below you was a 60-foot drop and lots of water. You sighed out shakily and looked back one last time. Your hands slowly let go and you breathed in a deep breath of air. You looked up at the sky and let out a wave of sobs before pushing yourself off the railing.

You expected to immediately feel the cold breeze hitting you as you fell over the bridge but you didn't. Instead, you felt a strong force pulling you backward.

The back of your head roughly collided with the concrete ground of the bridge and you let out a yelp. You looked around you processing your surroundings. You expected to be in the water by now, taking your final breaths. Instead, you were still back on the bridge and you fell back instead of forward.

You looked around suddenly, gripping the back of your head wanting to know who or what the fuck stopped you from doing so. Although you were mad you couldn't help but cry.

You sat up on the ground, knees close to your chest as you covered your hands and sobbed. You let out such painful cries, guttural noises, filled with pain. You cried, each cry letting out more sorrow than the last.

Little did you know, someone was scanning all your actions on the side, not knowing how to process the situation that just happened. He just witnessed someone who almost committed suicide.

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The second, he realized you took off your shoes, he knew that you were going to jump. It was a common occurrence, especially on this bridge. His intuition was proven correct when he saw you hoist yourself onto the railing. You were going to jump.

His body was moving on its own at that point and kicked the door open, rushing out as fast as possible. He didn't care about his clothes or his very expensive shoes, keeping only one goal in mind. As you scooted closer to the edge of the railing his heart stopped. He sprinted to the railing as fast as he could, almost slipping along the way. He roughly wrapped his big arms around your waist and he yanked you backward. He fell back onto the bridge and let go of your waist, catching his won fall, while you simply fell backward with force.

As you broke down in front of him, he felt a stinging in his heart. By now, Hongjoong and Seonghwa had also stepped out of the car with an umbrella, a little more cautious as they stood near the car itself, giving you a little space.

Yunho decided to slowly make a move to check up on you. He called out softly, but you didn't hear him.

"Excuse me?" He asked carefully, bottom lip caught in between his teeth from nervousness. You couldn't hear him over the rain and your sobs and frankly didn't care about anything else but the overwhelming pain in your heart.

He looked around nervously, before lifting a hand. He hesitantly brought it closer to you, doubting whether to touch you. He was wondering if you'd be comfortable, but he really wanted to help. He resorted to gently tapping your shoulder with his hands to alert you of his presence.

The second you felt his touch you immediately flinched, not noticing another person's presence. You looked up at him, before clasping your hand over your mouth. Although you knew that it was futile at this point, you still tried your best to cover up your sobs. You let out a string of sobs before squeezing your eyes shut and muttering apologies nonstop.

You kept stopping yourself with your cries but continued to whisper apologies. Yunho's eyes widened as he rapidly shook his head. Why on earth were you apologizing to him? As you looked up at him he noticed how strands of your wet hair clung to your face, your swollen and red eyes as well as your pink-tinted nose. He knew you must have been crying for a long time as your eyes reflected nothing but pain as they were completely bloodshot.

"Hey, hey, hey, I've got you" He whispered as he started patting your back. You nodded as you scooted closer. At this point, you didn't care how you were acting, simply trying to process what was happening. You pulled yourself together trying to get words out.

"May, I lean on you?" You softly whispered, voice breaking in the middle. Yunho hesitantly agreed, opening his arms up for you. You broke down again. You knew that you had been crying a lot that day, and maybe you were overreacting a bit, but in the heat of the moment, you simply couldn't stop.

You leaned into his warm chest taking in his musky scent that was slowly being washed away by the rain as he slowly crept a hand up to your back, rubbing it up and down.

"I'm here, I've got you, You're alright" He whispered into your hair. He knew you weren't in the right mind, but let you have your way just for now. You scrunched his now wet hoodie in your smaller fists as you tried to regain your composure.

You pulled away from a little embarrassed and looked away, knowing very well that he had already seen you, so there was no point. Yunho scooted further a little embarrassed too.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked softly and you shook your head, looking back up at him. You were surprised to see that his nose was slightly pink and his eyelashes were glistening in tears too. You felt guilty and apologized, a little embarrassed.

"I'm sorry for upsetting you," You said all of a sudden, and he shook his head rapidly.

"No, please don't apologize. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you must be in to want to take your own life." He whispered the last part, still not wanting to agitate you. You nodded and backed away. Yunho suddenly then realized the situation he was in, it was raining and the coldness was starting to get to him, he couldn't even imagine how much pain you must have been in to completely feel numb to it.

"It's raining and it's cold outside, do you want to sit inside our car, we have a heater" He interjected all of a sudden. You got nervous all of a sudden not knowing how to respond.

"I- I- can't-, I'm not sure" You stuttered your words and he noticed your discomfort, trying to divert the topic.

"Do you have anywhere else to go?" He asked looking at you sincerely and you shook your head. You couldn't go home like this. You averted your gaze while he tried to come up with a solution that you were comfortable with. All of a sudden though, you spoke up.

"Where are you going?" You asked and he tried to come up with a comforting answer real quick, one that would convince you to go with them.

"We are just heading to Yeongdeungpo, would you be interested in tagging along?" He asked sincerely. Your grandparents lived there, and you knew they would welcome you without asking questions, so you could go stay at theirs if you wanted to, so you nodded your head.

"Are you sure?" He confirmed with you and you nodded.

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It was safe to say the car ride there was anything but comfortable. You were in a car full of strangers wherein 2 of you were soaking wet.

"What on earth were you thinking?" One of them asked you all of a sudden, and you noticed the male who was with you earlier glared daggers back at them.

"I- um, I didn't- I'm not-" You kept fumbling over your words.

"She's not obligated to answer that." The man from earlier said sternly. You mumbled a thank you and continued to look outside. A few more minutes of silence passed as he tried to break the awkward silence.

"I never got your name by the way," He said all of a sudden, and without looking back you answered.

"Y/n," You said, cutting the conversation short. You weren't in the mood to talk. The other male nodded and introduced himself and the others.

"Well, I'm Yunho, this is Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Wooyoung" He pointed at them but you didn't look at them, simply nodding, facing the other direction. Through the side mirror of the car, you noticed the boy in the front, the one that had slightly longer hair in the back, and was significantly shorter, glaring at Yunho. You assumed they were not comfortable introducing their identities just yet and you were okay with that.

Most of the car ride was quiet. You let out occasional sighs and whimpers due to the cold but there were no other comments or conversations.

Halfway through the ride though, the boy from earlier, the one who asked you what you were doing on the bridge, Seonghwa, spoke up again.

"Are you okay though?" He trailed off at the end. The other three boys looked at him with wide eyes, presumably glaring, telling him off, when you suddenly cut those thoughts off.

"I don't know" You answered sincerely. In all honestly, nobody had expected you to speak up, so when you did, they were all ears. You sighed before continuing.

"Everything is just so hard on me" You sighed out, as your voice broke at the end of the sentence. You decided that was enough or else you knew you wouldn't be able to stop if you said more. Although your answer was somewhat ambiguous, they didn't want to pressure you.

They all just nodded trying not to make it seem like a big issue. You noticed how Yunho sighed silently next to you before scooting closer to you. This didn't go unnoticed by you. His knees made contact with your fingers which were on either side of you, on the seat, and you looked back up at him questioningly.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? I'm all ears, you don't have to worry about feeling vulnerable. In all honesty, it's best to let your feelings out. You seem like the type to bottle everything up, but you clearly have a lot on your mind, you can tell me if you're comfortable." He whispered sincerely, only of you to hear. You were still looking into his eyes, and unconsciously tears started welling up in your eyes again at the sincerity and care in his voice. You had never told anyone about your problems and this was your chance. A tear slipped down your cheek and you roughly wiped at it, scoffing softly.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me today" You let out a soft breathy laugh, but the both of you knew it was not funny. He looked at you sternly, faux anger on his face as he felt frustrated that you were treating yourself this way, frustrated that you were reducing yourself to an emotionless robot.

"Don't say that. Emotions are what make you human, you don't need to feel embarrassed." He said and you nodded, slowly scooting closer to him. He didn't mind. Although the proximity was making him a little nervous, he was trying his best to comfort you.

He decided to test the waters by putting his arm around you. He slowly and slyly snaked his arm behind your back, since you were leaning forwards and slowly made contact with the small of your back. When he noticed that you were comfortable with it, he tried putting a little pressure to pull you closer and you went with the flow. You leaned into him, with your head on his shoulder, as one of his arms was around you. You both needed the warmth anyways as you were freezing. It was silent for a bit before you decided to speak up.

"My science teacher molested me." You said breathily. His eyes widened as he tried pulling away from you. With this new bit of information, he realized that the close proximity of you two could be making you nervous. He wasn't able to pull away though since your back was flush against the back of the seat, and you didn't seem too uncomfortable so he decided to keep it there. He rubbed your back up and down urging you to continue.

"I don't- I'm not sure what I did wrong. I disproved the experiment instead of verifying it and he got mad." You paused and took in a shaky breath of air. At this point, your voice sounded pathetically weak and vulnerable but you knew only Yunho could hear you since you were whispering to him, so you had nothing to worry about. He just let out a hum into your hair as you continued.

"He called me to stay after class the discuss the paper and I stayed. I fucking stayed. I stayed despite knowing his sleazy ass would try to pull something on me. After all the students left he called me over to his desk..." You stopped yourself off as you felt your voice wavering. At this point, Yunho could feel his stomach doing flips just thinking about the situation you were in. The fact that it seemed like you were blaming yourself made him feel even worse. Nonetheless, you continued.

"He grabbed my knee and then my thigh and when I told him to let go, he didn't. He even had the audacity to ask me whether I wanted to go further. When I said no, he- he said I would fail. This is all my fault, what the fuck is wrong with me." You let out breathily into Yunho's wet hoodie. His heart broke when he heard you blaming yourself, you couldn't be further from the truth.

"Hey, please don't blame yourself. You have no reason to blame yourself, Y/n. You put your heart into that essay and he didn't like it because his narrow-minded brain couldn't accept new ideas. Furthermore, I'm sure he only used it as an excuse to hurt you. I'm sure your essay was great, and please don't blame yourself for him touching you. What he did was wrong and is all his fault." He paused finally, a little breathless from rambling. You nodded thinking he was done, only for him to continue speaking.

"I'm going to give you my number... Feel free to call me after today, I want to help you. I want to help you speak your side and arrest your science teacher for he did to you" You mumbled a soft okay as you leaned deeper into his embrace.

"I shouldn't feel like this" You suddenly said. Yunho had assumed the conversation was over when you told him about your science teacher but regardless he was ready to listen, no matter what it was.

"Why?" He asked sincerely, ready to scold you again for putting yourself down for having emotions.

"I have loving parents. I study at a good school. I usually get decent grades. I have 2-3 friends who I talk to sometimes. My family can afford the resources I need to feel content. Then why the fuck do I feel like this?" You asked more to yourself than Yunho and he knew this, but he had an answer.

"So?" He countered, waiting for a reaction from you but you had none.

"Even the most privileged people are not happy hun. Satisfaction and content come from within. You may have everything you need but still not feel satisfied with yourself. Is there anything about yourself that is bothering you?" He asked and you furrowed your eyebrows. What he was saying made a lot of sense...

"You- I-, I guess... I feel stressed all the time, and I'm not happy with the work I produce since I'm stressed and overwhelmed, but how did you know-"

"How do I know?" He interrupted you while you looked at him with wide eyes.

"Because I've felt the exact same way a few years ago." Now it was your turn to be shocked.

"I'm training to be an idol and I spent countless nights practicing my dancing and singing, but I never felt happy with my skills. I always thought I could get better, and that led to a sort of addiction. I stayed up late at our studio practicing and my sleep schedule was fucked up." You chuckled breathily at his word choice and how he let a curse word slip in. He noticed and smiled back down at you.

"When I finally understood and accepted the problem I got better. My mental health took a turn for the better and I was more proud of my accomplishments. Besides, I consider myself a decent singer now" He laughed at the end as you joined him.

"I'm proud of you for reaching your goal and bettering yourself," You said honestly as you patted his chest.

"I just hope I can fix myself one day too." You said honestly.

"I'm sure you will be able to. It takes time and perseverance, so please never give up. You're a beautiful, talented, and valuable person, never doubt yourself." He said and you nodded in his embrace.

That's where the conversation ended for now. The silence was not awkward at all. Instead, it was quite comforting as you had a lot to think about and process. Yunho's words definitely shifted the way you looked at life.

Yunho got a little more confident and trailed his arm upwards of your back and into your wet hair. He ran his hands through your wet hair as you scooted closer to him. He gently rubbed his hands across your scalp relaxing you. Despite him being a stranger, from the way he listened to you, saved your life, and comforted you, you knew he was someone you could trust.

Meanwhile, the boy in the front, Hongjoong looked through the rear mirror, looking at the position you and Yunho were in. He and Yunho suddenly made eye contact through the mirror, and Yunho got nervous, his eyes widening as he realized his leader had seen the position he was in, but that went away as he realized Hongjoong was smiling back at him with a soft smile across his face.

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Unknowingly, you had fallen asleep in Yunho's arms. When Hongjoong realized you fell asleep he patted Seonghwa's shoulder pointing to the two of you. You had fallen asleep on Yunho's shoulder, resting your head against it, while his head was on top of yours, also asleep. Seonghwa almost squealed when he saw the position you were in. They exchanged a few knowing looks before you finally arrived at your stop.

Yunho woke up before you and you were awoken by a messy-haired, still sleepy but smiley Yunho, ushering you to go outside. You got up, rubbing at your eyes as you looked around. You realized you were still in the car with all of the boys looking at you. You got embarrassed and quickly fixed yourself before shooting a confused look at Yunho. Suddenly, the man driving, Wooyoung, spoke up.

"I dare you and Yunho to go to 7/11 to get us snackssss" He playfully said and you smiled.

"Don't forget to get yourself a new pair of clothes too, you're soaking wet and probably cold. Although, I don't think that was much of a problem considering you were practically on top of eachoth- OOF" Seonghwa was cut off but Yunho roughly shoving his side. For the first time in the past week, you let out a genuine laugh and all the boys turned to look at you, as you bent over in laughter. Their eyes widened and Yunho swore it was the most melodious sound he had ever heard.

Feeling empowered and having a new perspective on life, you decided to go with the flow. Besides, you were given a second chance at life, you weren't going to waste it, moping around. You decided to make a change, and that change started today.

"Well big boy, are you coming with me or not?"

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