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kaceyunderfell · 1 month ago

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Fuck it, Pinned post time

(Alt of @eclipse-kitsune)

Hello anyone who sees this, I am Kacey, also known as Eclipse or Timber

Note to mutuals: Do not trust that "online indicator", I keep my Chromebook open and Tumblr tabs open so it may say I'm "online" when I'm not

- Passage Scugs project main post here -

Self-appointed ruler of LagSpike

The official CEO of Familial Ties [NOT A SHIP!]

Best ship(s) in my personal opinion: LagSpike, Error 404, KarmaFlower, FishStick, Murder Moms

They/them with a sprinkle of any pronouns :D

I am an artist, yes. Though right now I am stuck on this Chromebook with limited options on where to draw. I enjoy traditional art-ing, though am currently not able to show any of that due to not having a functioning phone at the moment. <- (will update when I find my phone or get a new one)

Current interest(s): Rain World, CoTL, Cats are Liquid, and more!

If you think I'm gonna add an online status indicator, you are INCORRECT!! HAHA INCONSISTENCY GO BRRR!! I COULD NEVER KEEP THAT UP!!!

Tag stuff ig:

#Kaceyposts - Me posting something, seems obvious don't you think?

#Kaceypinnedpost - The pinned post of my blog :D

#Kaceyreblogs - I rebloged something, doesn't that seem obvious?

#Kaceyanswers - I answered an ask :0

#Kaceypolls - Polls that I set up

#Kaceyunderfell's art - My "#My art" tag replacement

#Kaceyunderfell's ocs - My wonderful ocs have been mentioned :0

#rw passage scugs project - Rain World fans create slugcats based on the 14 passages in Rain World: Downpour

#Kacey shares Fight Rising Stuff - Pretty self-explanatory don't you think? I share Flight Rising stuff with y'all because I have officially started posting about that

Ocs, because I wanna list them (this is not all of them) + a short description:

The Mimic - Voidborn creature able to shift forms, appears similar to an echo (mainly with colors), very silly personality, very pure-hearted, goes by It/its pronouns, curious about the world around it, able to eat non-edible objects without much harm, void fluid blood

The Copycat - Small slugcat, cyan in color with a lil music note on their forehead, iterator creation (but not a messenger), kills creatures and uses their bodies for their own benefit, goes by They/them pronouns, not very pure at all, very violent, gremlin vibes

The Midnight - Tall slugcat, long prehensile tail that has a spiral on the tip, this spiral emits electricity passively, annoyed easily, believed that she was perfect, goes by She/her/he pronouns (transfem), violent at first, enemies with Copycat

The Evader - Tall slugcat, long prehensile tail, Gourmand's crafting ability, Artificer's explosive abilities, lives primarily in OE (Outer Expanse), knows little about iterators but wants to learn more, goes by He/they pronouns, smart, knows a lot about the ecosystem

Ever-Moving Shadows (EMS) - Stranded iterator build (probably gen 3 or 4), Darker color palate, white eyes, wears a sweater, antennae are like Pebbles' but move back at the top (imagine like.. a music note?), goes by He/him pronouns, annoyed easily, thinks he's perfect and therefore everything he makes is perfect as well

Puppets Enter Nature (PEN) - Mobile iterator, leaf emblem on head, brown-ish color palate, white eyes, mint scarf around neck, white cloak, slugcat-like "tail" which is grey, goes by He/they pronouns, silly personality, adopted slugpup: Saint, besties with LoL, NSH and SRS

Lack/Loss of Leadership (LoL) - Mobile iterator, crown emblem on head, white eyes, golden(?) color palate, fluffy cloak (like my headcanon SRS has), slugcat-like "tail" but has a charger built into it, goes by They/them pronouns, silly personality, besties with PEN

Keys of Enlightenment - Collapsed iterator, gold and black color palate, black eyes, created the scugzards, goes by She/her pronouns, obsessed with lizards

The Hybrid - Strawberry scugzard (slugcat + lizard), created by KoE, made last in the chronological timeline due to strawberries only appearing in Saint's campaign, goes by She/any pronouns, friendly personality, siblings with Alpha, Zippy, Camy, Fuchsia, Noir, and Slayer (Camy belongs to Nsp, Fuchsia belongs to Cherry and Noir and Slayer belong to Harper)

The Alpha - Red scugzard (slugcat + lizard), created by KoE, made second in the chronological timeline, goes by They/any pronouns, the "alpha" of the group of scugzards, more lizard than slugcat (genetically), quite smart, second longest scugzard, siblings with Alpha, Zippy, Camy, Fuchsia, Noir, and Slayer (Camy belongs to Nsp, Fuchsia belongs to Cherry and Noir and Slayer belong to Harper)

The Zippy - Cyan scugzard (slugcat + lizard), created by KoE, middle sibling, energetic, very social, goes by Any/all pronouns, silly, traumatized easily, siblings with Alpha, Zippy, Camy, Fuchsia, Noir, and Slayer (Camy belongs to Nsp, Fuchsia belongs to Cherry and Noir and Slayer belong to Harper)

Seven Oceans of Acid (SOoA) - 4th gen iterator, not much personality (but I do remember I made him sadistic), I cant remember what design I gave him lol, goes by He/him pronouns

The Famine - Walking famine slugcat, created by SOoA, anything that can decay will decay when near him, same with things that can rust, spears are practically useless to him, predators like lizards stay away from him, goes by He/him pronouns, very depressed

The Withered - Slugcat with the ability to change states of matter at will, created by SOoA, very loyal, goes by They/them pronouns, sadistic at times, doesn't give up easily

Kacey - Wolf monster from Undertale, twins with Kiara (Kiara belongs to KiaraUnderfell), silly personality, goes by She/her pronouns, basically me, one of my many sonas

Eclipse - Kitsune, title of "bleach queen" <- (made it up on scratch lol), goes by She/her pronouns, basically me, one of my many sonas

Zillah - Cat(?), from Nsp's cool world thing that I cant remember the name of right now, abilities inspired by some elements of Feral Pride, goes by Any/all pronouns

The Static - Slugpup(?), black color palate, white eyes, static-y sound emits passively around it, goes by It/its pronouns, doesn't speak much, creatures around it always feel a sense of dread (which does not go away), slugpup(?) of Distortion

The Distortion - Code dweller (same as my headcanon Nightcat), able to speak without moving its mouth, distorted speech, goes by It/its pronouns, able to sense fear, parental figure of Static

The Fuze - Slugcat/Centipede hybrid, created by an unnamed iterator, immune to centipede shocks, Carnivore-based diet, goes by He/they pronouns, smart, has a tamed centipede named "Zappy", can be silly at times

Onyx - Four armed slugcat, brown color palate, four eyes, no personality given, goes by He/they pronouns

The Raptor - Vulture/slugcat hybrid, values their kin (other slugcat hybrids), won't attack without reason, goes by He/they pronouns, created by an iterator with the acronym "FEATHER"

#Kaceypinnedpost #kaceyposts #rain world #rainworld #rain world slugcat #kaceyunderfell's art #pinned post #info post #ocs mentioned here :O

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chi1d0fcain · 2 months ago

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As someone who have literally witnessed this, your feelings are beyond valid. I love u so much. Preacher’s daughter and everything you have ever made mean so much to me and they are literal masterpieces. Honestly, i mostly like the jokes in hopes of them reaching a bigger audience simply because i love u and i h8 how rare it is to find ethel stans in real life who know the lore and obsesses over it as much as me. And sometimes one reel could be the spark that starts all that. Giving u more streams and hopefully more money to fund more projects and hopefully physicals because i NEED IT. Is that selfish? Probably. Does it come with negatives? Absolutely. Is it worth it? As a barb first and foremost I think it totally is. Nicki is such a perfect example. Because she decides how seriously to take us. And treats the fans as literal children when they go crazy yet we always feel like we can joke with her and always appreciate her genius work all together. I feel like it’s something that all public figures have to deal with once famous enough and cannot be avoided.

I can never understand how you personally feel about this from your pov, and all the comments u receive but i find its very important and healthy for u to just simply filter these unserious people out whenever youre not in the mood and like. Log off. Or move to a different platform like nicki with queen radio which was literally the point of these radio shows that have now become as simple as ig lives. Not everybody has the energy to keep up with those esp if theyre boring in the beginning or maybe just stick more to tumbler or alt accounts whenever u want to discuss your art and those who care WILL be there to give u every ounce of support. But honestly these jokes are just another way of showing support and love. To these people and meme pages this is charity and their way of helping u gain more global attention and success which we all believe you deserve because of the greatness of your art. Whether u agree or disagree. I really appreciate the new album title and hope it shoos away the unserious children. But it is what it is. While we who care about u most will take these rants very seriously, those same people you complained about wont even read it. So yeah. Try these things. When u see something blown out of context yell at us in a simple story. When u wanna get serious, simple address the fans seriously just like a parent does. This way u ensure control over the fandom and maintain mutual respect and support! Those of us who love u wont go no matter how much u cuss us out. So let your emotions out. And we will always try to make fame a more pleasant experience. But as we all know its a curse. That also comes with benefits. Not saying this just as a barb, but everybody envies the relationship we have with nicki. She was literally in the middle of the street with fans surrounding her and she was doing a better job than crowd control + cops. And i know you are as great and as capable of such things despite how difficult it may seem. Keep reminding yourself that you have all the power over us. You can punish us with delays reward us with surprises etc. this is literally what nicki does. Like actual. Kids. And when u do that, us real fans feel entitled to play the big sister role, and we start individually making sure the childish people who don’t appreciate your art stay in their place. I hope u get my point. I love u so much. I wish i could elaborate more but i fear i already wrote too much and i really want u to read it so i dont want it to be overwhelming even tho its very messy and all over the place and i suck at explaining myself i really hope you see where im cominh from as i can literally go on about this for hours. Really wish i could help more. U got this tho! Love u to the moon and back.

Sincerely, a fellow child of cain.

P.s. even after all this i WILL add that i STILL would d13 to get my hands on your entire discography even unreleased pressed on vinyl. Not because im not taking u seriously, but because this is sooo important to me and we feel like the more we ask the more demand the higher the chance of getting what we want! Again, if this bothers you, you MUST go the parent route. Address the subject. Say that youre working on it. Or not interested in it right now. Show us that you hear every single one of us and simply respond accordingly instead of bottling it up and let it get to u. I promise if u address the issue once twice and thrice u will feel it go away. I know that it can be overwhelming as im neurodivergent myself, but its the most effective way to tackle this and to make this a better experience for u. After all you are the head of the snake and u have all the power. Do not. Forget it. Most of us real fans would bend to your will so fast. U simply need to own it and believe that you deserve it. Which you absolutely do. Speaking from nothing but experience as a barb for more than 10 years, and someone who had a fanpage was friends with big fan pages and knew the owners personally and a recovering chronically online member of many fandoms. Trying to drastically limit my online time but id do anything to even attempt make u happier and try to be of help

Hello very much :)

I thought about making a video on this topic but I decided to just write it out in a post instead. Either way, I'd like to speak a bit more specifically about a drunk rant I made on a separate account the other day that was not as well put together as I'd like to stand as my viewpoints on the subject.

tl:dr, I just feel as though there's a lack of sincerity in the world these days. I speak from personal experience as an artist putting things out into the world, yes, but also as a human being interacting with other human beings on the regular, and I have had my sentiments echoed by many other friends of mine over the past year or so, both artists and non-artists alike. Most of this will be framed through the consumption of art, because that's my own personal passion in this life of mine, but also the way we interface with each other and process the world around us. Now, don't get me wrong, I love to laugh. I love a good joke, and I love lightheartedness as much as the next person. But I saw someone this morning put it very succinctly in response to my rant, something along the lines of "don't let the joke about it overtake the source material." It feels as though it's a common occurrence these days to take a pinch of something with a lot more weight to it, often a humorous bit, and then run with it. Everyone then gathers around the pinch to ooh and ahh and consume it as a whole. Context is immediately lost, the legacy of that body of work becomes its own caricature, and anyone discovering that body of work via said caricature may forgo a piece of art they would otherwise love because "there's nothing there". And don't think this is me griping at those making jokes at the expense of my art. I make jokes about my own art. But when the joke dies, yet continues to grow, and spread, and finds its way back to me both on the internet and off for months (or, God forbid, years) to come, I can't help but say to myself; what the fuck is happening. Artists have fled the public and all their outlets for personality and expression outside the medium because they feel ridiculed. It's not even just their art. Katya comes to mind, speaking on how she went on youtube live a few years back in literal tears talking about police brutality and the injustices marginalized communities were facing at the hands of the government. Meanwhile, the entire comment section "yass" and "mother"ed her in barrages, not paying attention to anything she had to say. I get asked about when I'm dropping Preacher's Daughter vinyl en masse in response to my Palestine fundraiser links. It's everywhere and it's inescapable. No one can be serious for even two seconds.

This may all sound obnoxious; so be it. I tie strings from this central problem to many other complaints I have heard repeated ad nauseam the past few years. For example; the death of subculture. Goth, punk, whatever, you name it. People who built an underground counterculture movement with a rich history based on a love of art, community, and otherwise misunderstood worldviews and experiences deemed foul or inappropriate. Now we see bits taken from it, the terms and the looks, without any of the meat, spread thin across society as a whole. Words mean nothing anymore. One can rest on history and say they were a part of it when in fact, they did nothing. No appreciation or understanding to be had for the love and passion that built it. No serious interaction with the culture's very real confines and boundaries, just mindless co-opting. This has just as much to do with late stage capitalism as it does with excessive humor in lieu of sincerity, but it's certainly both. Again, this may sound like a silly complaint, but I don't care. The collective ennui we're all experiencing has a very real reason, whether we're ready to acknowledge or not.

In a twisted thread, it's even tied to our lack of care to change the world around us. People cheer on the idea of communism, but who among us is ready to give up the convenience of society as it stands? Amazon prime, doordash, fresh fruit out of season as I saw someone mention in a similar post last week; the marvels of modern technology. Do we really think these things can last in a society that isn't actively destroying the planet? We talk about the idea of something all day long but have very little to do with the actuality of what we're talking about. And don't think I consider myself exempt from this problem. I couldn't even try to claim to be. It seems nearly silly to be complaining, then, about the way people consume the art around them these days as we creep towards what feels like the end of days. But as long as I still draw breath, I must complain.

I miss genuine passion. As an autistic individual, when I'm alone, sometimes I cannot contain myself with how things make me feel. The music I listen to, the video games I play, the books I read. I almost feel the need to run through the house and scream in everyone's face how I'm feeling. It feels good to love intensely. Now, I won't pretend like autistic people haven't been bullied for this since the dawn of time, but there is surely a noticeable lack of passion in everything these days. Everyone can feel it, everyone is talking about it. Everything now is "cringe", or "doing too much", or "not that serious". Actually, it is that serious. Insecurity in one's own deeper feelings may not be a new thing, but a culture that seems to promote this eschewing of them does seem to be a new evil. The tone of the internet has completely shifted. I spent most of my time here when I first discovered it a little over a decade ago on Zelda forums and other chat-based websites, talking about how much I loved whatever fandom I was in at the time and having genuine and memorable interactions with like-minded individuals who felt the same way I do. Now, you have two options; if you hate media, you rip it to shreds, and if you love it, you word-salad it to death and parrot a joke about it that someone else said. I'm not saying people don't still talk seriously in a heartfelt way about the things they love, but it does not seem to be the initial reaction anymore. Do I have a solution to this problem? Of course not. I'm a 26 year old girl posting on a tumblr blog. If I had a solution, this is not where I would be dropping it. But conversation is God to man, and I believe in the ability to change things from the inside out. We make the rules, and we can change them.

Before I go, I'd like to just clarify that I am very grateful for my career, grateful to anyone who has ever given me and my art the time of day, grateful to anyone who has ever come up to me and connected with me over my work, and grateful for a life where someone making too many jokes is the worst part of my day. I do not think I am better nor smarter than anyone on or off the internet. I am simply a girl with big feelings and I enjoy talking about them with other people with big feelings, and it makes me sad when something avoidable or unnecessary gets in the way of that.

All in all, I love to love, and I love all of you, I love my life, I love this record, and mi amore vo- i mean.... oh, whatever.

(Feel free to sound off in the comments and please be nice to each other)

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mg549 · 4 years ago

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rainbow high but they each have distinct and varying styles

hi im putting my Disscusion under the post cause ik lots of ppl just wanna rb the art but also i have Thoughts

-ruby’s style is the strongest in the series imo. they designed a butch lesbian and nobody told them ig. my only slight change was giving her cowboy boots cause if shes from “the country” then she should... actually... look like shes from the country. maybe its just cause i grew up in nc but i would love some southern rep from a character where being from the south isnt their whole Personality. anyways i think she should wear western style button downs is all im trying to say

-bella... her style is ALL over the place. since she is a set designer i wanted to make her a theatre kid!!! her style is somewhere in the 40s/50s zone of vintage inspired so that way she has a definite Range of styles and silhouettes to choose from! im a sucker for the new look bc its so Shapes but i could also see her pulling off some long wool circle skirts and peasant top blouses! i also gave her some hearing aids and braces which you can probably only see if you zoom in dhjnf

-poppy got the biggest design overhaul of anyone. i kept the butterfly theme and nothing else fbhdjd. since her music has some definite funk energies i wanted to give her a 70s inspired look with some glam platforms and denim overalls! i think we deserve bellbottom pantsuit poppy. i also changed her hair bc literally the rh main cast all have practically IDENTICAL hair styles save for the direction theyre parted in. i wanted to give her those anime butterfly headphones but toned down slightly hdsjdnd oh and! shes also wearing glasses bc once again we get a whole cast of characters and not one of them is wearing glasses like smh literally like half of all ppl wear glasses?? anyways in terms of personality i wanted to keep her bubbly but instead of just making music thru like Divine Inspiration i think she should take a more realistic and nuanced approach!! show her nerding out abt music theory and talking about the themes her pieces represent and the stories they tell

-sunny’s design is Mostly the same! her hair is slightly changed, i wanted it to match the cover she drew for winnerz! i also made the rainbows on her outfit pride flag colors, and gave her some button pins on her jacket! every Token Anime Kid ive ever met has buttons plastered all over their bags and jackets and its a nice touch that gives her some more Character i feel

-jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaade. jade. i wish she had kept her dark lipstick. and also that she wasnt just billie eilish. and that she was the token goth of the group. her stitched up shirt is inspired by a shirt i wore in high school! it was from the 90s and SUPER beat up to the point where it was literally disintegrating so i just sewed up any new holes that would form with contrasting thread it was a Look. i hc her as wearing contacts bc when she tried wearing glasses she got upset that she couldnt show off her makeup as much gvhbnf! i also gave her a spider necklace bc i think she should still like spiders BUT i HATE the jokes abt “therapy tarantulas” bc only dogs and like 10 horses can actually be service animals and the whole thing w people lying about their untrained dogs/cats (or worse, exotic animals that they should not even own) being service/therapy/emotional support animals just so they can bring them in public is!! Really Bad!! and it hurts people who actually do need service dogs bc untrained dogs are well. untrained and set a bad example for how service animals will actually act! and owners who print out fake certifications also make it harder for disabled ppl bc it leads to store owners thinking that theres some sort of paper they can ask the owner to flash to prove the service dog is trained when that. is not actually true and theres no such thing as an actual certificate for this. if a service dog company offers a certificate/card/whatever to show authority it is specifically for disabled people to do when faced with this issue and has no actual official meaning. and ANOTHER thing that bothers me abt this joke is that.. Therapy For What? it would be really cool to see a canonically mentally ill character as a protagonist for a doll line! it would be fantastic to see them opening up that conversation for neurodivergent kids and their parents! but we have no indication for that at All just haha funy therapy spider :| anyways jade is an nd lesbian my canon now

-skyler is punk now! shes a fashion major and i think it would be a really interesting character to explore, someone who is shy but dresses really flashy and tough! i also changed her theme material from denim to the blue leather she wears at the party bc im biased towards alt fashion. her hair was really fun to design, with a big Cloud of Fluff at the top and long braids underneath bc get it!! its Rain Cloud Shaped :] i dont have much else to say bc this design is def in my Comfort Zone of styles. anyways we stan andershaw here they literally are in love

-vi vi! i didnt change much bc i dooooooont really know that much about influencer/mainstream fashion tbqh... i Did give her That One Halter Top Style that literally 2 other of the main characters are both wearing instead of a loose 1 piece dress tho. i also decided she should be into holographic fabric bc its very Sleek and Future Is Now and Influencercore. i also think the sleek tight fitting holo shirt/skirt is a good contrast to Big Fluffy Fur Jacket. she also has a prosthetic leg idk i just thought it would be a good Touch

overall rh def has some MAJOR problems with diversity in all aspects and it shows in their fashion design as well! if you put the characters in black and white save for a few patterned pieces they would all be interchangeable and i honestly think that its representative of the larger problem! maybe i do follow the monster high design philosophy that every piece should only make sense on the character its from, but the fact that they cant even diversify FASHION despite it being a Fashion Doll Brand really Says It All.

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moons-and-stars-and-shit · 4 years ago

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Hi! I saw your blog cause you reblogged one of my crack ideas on my hq account and I think it’s super cute! Is it possible I can request a cake? I’m curious to see who you’d put me with :)

I have no idea what I’m supposed to put in this, but! My name is Spencer (at least that’s the one I’m trying out rn, but it’s comfy I like it) and I use he/him pronouns. I’m 5’10ish & I currently have black hair that I dye from time to time (probably going to dye it red next). My hair is like...a little past the top of my ears, but it’s an undercut (think Kenma with black hair ig). I have really thin brown eyes (a lot of people think I’m Asian I’m not lol they’re just hooded). I’m not exactly built thin but that’s something I’m ✨insecure✨ about so we’re not gonna get into that lol

Personality wise,,,idk I’m 90% self-deprecating and the other 10% is sarcasm. I’d like to think I’m a pretty creative person although I’m extremely logical. Creativity is more for fun vs logical on a day-to-day basis if that makes sense?

I used to be really athletic but I started doing other things and since then that’s kinda dwindled away. However lately I’ve been trying to kick ✨depression✨ in the ass and get back into being athletic and stuff. I’m learning how to box and a few friends and I want to take up volleyball when it gets warmer. I used to be a soccer player though and I want to start doing that again, too.

A lot of people tell me I’m musically talented. I like to think I am on a good day, I guess (I’m bad about describing myself lol sorry). But I play a little piano and ukulele but I play guitar & sing mostly.

Even though I try not to be I’m super competitive and legit subconsciously turn everything into a competition, but I try to stay lighthearted about it. Even though I come off cold to people when I meet them (RBF + introvert yikes) I really care about my friends and wear my heart on my sleeve even though I try not to show it.

Quick stuff if this isn’t too long already?

Zodiac: Sun-Leo Moon-Virgo Rising-Cancer

MBTI: INPT-T

Asked my friends what colors they’d describe me with & made this:

Favorite anime is either the disastrous life of saiki k or haikyuu!! (leaning towards hq tho)

I don’t have a favorite color but I wear a lot of red and black

Punk/slightly alt style with a lot of graphic tshirts? That’s basically my style

And yeah! I’m sorry if this is really long lol I tend to ramble when I don’t know what to say heh

Spence back again 😅😅 I forgot to attach the pretty color thing my friend told me to make

@spence0112

Hahaaaaaaaa 😅 sorry for the wait but thank you for your patience 😭

Romantic Matchup

Tendou Satori

How Y’all Met

Ight kinda embarrassing

But y’all Met in therapy 🤠

Yup

Group therapy

Legit every time he heard you talk

He was like:

Mood

Felt that

Relatable

So after group he went up to you and was just like

“Hey if you ever need to talk to someone I’m always available!”

And he gave you his digits 😗

Ok fast forward a bit

You we’re having a REALLY bad day

Like the depression was kicking tour ass

And you don’t know why

But you called our boy Tendou

Oop homeboy ZOOMED over to you

He was like do you wanna talk about it

And you said no, you just needed something to take your mind off of your ✨depressive state✨

He remembered you saying something about wanting to learn volleyball

And it was the end of the day... 👀

So he took you to practice with him

It was actually super fun!

He taught you all sorts of moves

And you we’re really impressed by his guest blocking

By the end of practice you felt a lot better

And you actually decided to join the volleyball team

Tendou was super excited to have you as his teammate!

Y’all started to hang out CONSTANTLY

You guys were just super close

So no one was really shocked when you two started dating 👀

They were expecting it actually...

What They Love About You

He loves that he can relate to you

And vice versa

Y’all truly just understand each other

He loves that your willing to battle your depression

It honestly inspires him to kick the rest of his depression in the ass

He loves your style!

He would wear jeans and a t shirt every day if he could

Matching t-shirts 👀 👀 👀

He loves how naturaly caring you are

He can see past the rbf so don’t worry about that

But the fact that you treat people with care and kindness is a plus for him

Favorite Things To Do Together

Ok this could go two ways

Option A is the definition of crackhead things

A lot of midnight shopping trips

A lot of gas station hauls

You get the gist

Or there’s option B

Which Is very chill 🙂

He likes to just stay in and watch anime or read manga with you

So whatever’s more your vibe

But he likes doing both 👀

Random Hc

His favorite anime is Saiki K as well 😗

So that’s the show you two always watch together

You two

Do in fact

Have matching t-shirts

Ahhhh so cute

You guys told your therapy group you were dating 😭

They were surprisingly supportive 👀

Astrology

When Taurus and Leo come together in a love affair, they can be a great couple because they know how to stroke one another’s egos and love to have their own stroked!

They have similar needs: Taurus needs plenty of affection, to be loved and cherished, while Leo likes compliments and wants to be adored and admired.

They’re both extremely loyal and possessive lovers.

Since they have such similar desires, they can generally provide for one another’s needs quite well.

These two Signs both love status and possessions.

They prize physical comfort and luxury; Leo is often flamboyant about attentions and gift-giving, which will greatly please Taurus, who loves the most traditional forms of courtship.

Though they can work together quite well, it’s not all roses between these two; both Signs are very stubborn and must work hard to understand and accept one another.

Overall Aesthetic

2000 Retro

Out of my league - Fitz and the tantrums

Dissolve - Absofacto

Boyfriend - Coin

Wait a minute- Willow

I’m sorry this is just to cute not to add 😭

(NOT MY ART)

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fandom #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu matchups #tendou #tendou satori #tendou x reader #tendou x y/n

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cackieo · 4 years ago

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I’m really not exactly sure how it has come to be the 2nd of September. Are you?

In this year, 2020, the year to end all years, we might (if we are hopeful) be thinking, one might expect that it would have dragged along interminably. And in some ways, I suppose it has. We certainly have been through an awful lot- and we are still mucking our way through as best we can. In my wildest dreams, I could not possibly have imagined a worldwide, terrifying pandemic and the emotional and economic toll that would take on all of us. Add to that the turmoil and polarized division our country is currently in due to racial injustice as well as a political climate that seems ripped out of a doomsday novel. The challenges appear to be greater every day. It’s hard at times – I’ll be honest, a lot of the time – to feel hopeful. So how I suddeny l find myself in September is a bit mysterious to me. I feel like I’m in some bizarre space/time continuum that is completely out of my control. No doubt I am not alone in that feeling. At least I hope I’m not.

I’ll try to bring you up to date with a very quick synopsis of what’s been going on. But first I’d like to move on to my exciting news.

And that is, I am thrilled to tell you, Glittermoon Vintage Christmas and I have been featured in the 2020 Flea Market Décor Magazine 2020 Holiday issue with a beautiful 4-page spread! Have a peek:

Cover of Flea Market Décor 2020 Holiday Issue

The issue went on sale yesterday. You can find it on newsstands, in grocery stores, and pharmacies everywhere. I picked up a copy in the grocery store. Or you can go here to order a copy mailed right to your home.

The issue is chock full of creative, fun holiday decorating ideas. I am over the moon to be included in the company of amazingly talented people, some of whom I follow on Instagram. Let me know what you think when you get your copy!

Speaking of Instagram, I do hope you are following me there at GlittermoonCards. It’s become my happy place. Because you can better control what’s in your feed than on Facebook, which I have found to be so toxic and negative at times, I can’t spend a great deal of time on it these days. Instead, I much prefer to follow along – and make friends (albeit virtual) with – like-minded, positive people who post lovely visuals. In all honesty, I have struggled quite a lot to keep my emotional being centered this year; IG has been like a balm. Since we cannot see our friends in person right now, it’s become a sort of surrogate friend. I tend to follow designers and gardeners. One of my favorite designers (and Richmond native), Charlotte Moss, notably, helped keep so many of us out of the “weeds” this past spring by offering up weekly creative challenges that were not only fun but they also benefitted charity. An example of this was the Collage Challenge. For every collage submitted, Charlotte , a lifelong collage aficiando, offered to contribute $100 to Feeding America. In the end, that added up to a whopping $100,000 donation!

So, for the first time in forever, I made a collage. I have to say it was an almost perfect exercise to keep the demons at bay and, oh my, did it ever feel good to have the creative juices flowing again. This is what I came up with…a sort of Italianate/Into the Woods fairy tale.

My collage for the Charlotte Moss Feeding America Challenge

This space as well as my social media pages have always tried to be positive, politically free zones and that goes for now, too. Especially now. I made the decision early on during the pandemic to try to only post things on social media that might bring people a smile or something beautiful that gives someone a lift. I have felt deeply for those who were stuck in high rises or other places where they could not even see green spaces much less get outside to one. So, I posted a lot of pictures of my garden during this past glorious spring; truly the best spring I can remember – what a gift that was and how we needed it! You’ll find lots of photos of how the garden has done this year as well as occasional peeks inside my house and whatever else might pop into my line of sight. So I do hope you will follow along and enjoy.

The other reason to follow me on Instagram is that I tend to post updates there first. I will be using both that platform as well as the Glittermoon Facebook page to keep everybody updated on what I’m making and what I’ve got that is available for purchase this fall. Because of the Coronavirus all the shows for this year have been cancelled – quite rightly. However, this makes for a challenging time for people like me to get what they make out there to the people who want to buy. I am still trying to figure out what is the best strategy for that so stay tuned on social media. I will, of course, also be posting here but not as frequently as on those pages.

Glittermoon Cards SPREAD THE LOVE PROJECT

When the Coronavirus first roared into our lives back in March, like everyone else, we were scared – not only for us but for everyone we care about. With Mr Transplant, we knew we had to be especially vigilant and heed all the warnings the scientists and doctors put out there.

As the pandemic really began to rage and tragic stories of heartbreak and death etched themselves upon our consciousness, I found myself waking up at 4 AM every night with terrible anxiety. Thinking about people trapped in nursing homes, all alone, particularly haunted me. I wanted to help – somehow – but simply could not figure out how. I made donations but it just did not seem enough. I don’t sew so I offered up fabric and some money to a vibrant local group of mask sewers. And while those were good things to do, it did not satisfy that urge to DO something more. But how? As the spouse of an immune suppressed transplant patient and a member of the “at risk” group myself (though I am in good health and refuse to think of myself as “elderly”), there is no question that I need to stay at home for the duration.

I kept thinking about my inventory of Glittermoon Cards sitting in my workshop out back. Everyone knows getting a card in the mail can cheer you up. It’s a simple gesture that makes you feel like you matter to someone. And there are so many people in need of a human connection right now. So, I came up with The Glittermoon SPREAD SOME LOVE Project. For $12, you receive: An assortment of 10 GLITTERMOON CARDS (valued at $30-40, specially chosen and packaged by me), FREE SHIPPING to you via USPS (lower 48 states only, please) and, in addition, for every order, I MAKE A $2 DONATION to FEED MORE, Central Virginia’s food bank.Mail your cards to someone who you think needs a little love, whether it’s a stranger in a nursing home, a special caregiver, an elderly neighbor down the street, or anyone who you think could use some cheer in these strange and scary times. And then tell all your friends! Let’s start an avalanche of mail to the people who need some cheer during this dark time! Hop on over to my Etsy shop to purchase. If you are local to the RVA area, they are also in stock in my space at Crossroads Art Center.

Pre-Covid seems a very long time ago indeed and so much has changed. We were supposed to have our house and garden open in May for a tour in our Ginter Park neighborhood but, of course, that had to be scratched. As of this writing, it has been rescheduled for May 1, 2021. Put it on your calendar now! Naturally, we were in the midst of several house projects trying to get ready for the tour. I was still finishing up the bathroom renovation that began 18 months ago now 😳 and I was working on refreshing some of the downstairs rooms. And then, everything ground to a halt. At this point, most of those projects have now been finished – yay – and I’ve begun working on the upstairs which has started to look tired after 25 years. If you remember way back to last year, we were doing a total gut renovation of the master bathroom. To give you an example of how looooong the bathroom took, I just got the new curtain, actually an antique pillow sham that we repurposed, up in the window last week! The master bedroom (which was the workshop during the bath reno and thus completely trashed) is all pretty and fresh now and I could not be happier with how both it and the bathroom turned out. I’ve moved on to the tiny little room I call my “perch” and things are proceeding at a sedate pace but that’s just fine with me. Here’s a peek at how the bathroom looked once I hung pictures but before the new curtain. You can refer back to this post from a year ago to see the “before.”

Typical Gabby pose

In late July, our beloved kitty, Gabby (Gabriella Glittermoon), whose face and name were on the back of every Glittermoon Card, left us for heaven. She was just a few weeks short of her 20th birthday and we are having a hard time to adjusting to the empty space that small but mighty being has left behind. As I wrote at the time, I had a pretty good feeling of who she was on the day I adopted her. As I drove us home, this little striped arm kept poking out of the cardboard carrier, feverishly trying to feel its way along the car seat. She was feisty and funny, contrary and cantankerous, precious and persnickety, and full of her own self worth. A warrior with a zest for life. She was loving. And she was deeply loved. Most of all, she was her daddy’s girl: his constant, boon companion, especially during these past challenging years. We miss her terribly.

Emma P Buttercup

At the same time, my sweet Emma developed some scary health issues, too. We are still working on trying to figure out what is going on with her but it’s been very worrisome for me. She’s my shadow and I don’t even want to contemplate what life would be like without her.

I’m all set to get cracking out there in Santa’s Workshop, Southern Branch. Everything is organized and in its place. I had a bit of a hiccup when the fluroescent fixture directly over my worktable croaked last week. Fortunately, my electrician was able to squeeze me into his busy schedule and came yesterday to replace it and another one with new, and very bright, LED fixtures so I am raring to go! When I was working on getting everything put away and ready for the 2020 season, I realized just how starved I’ve been to get my creative juices flowing and get to work making beautiful things to share with you. I looked over at all the Santas on the old workbench one afternoon and there they all were, with jolly faces alight, and my mood improved by leaps and bounds in just that moment. Here’s a look at how nice and tidy a couple of the shelves are…perhaps your mood will lift, too!

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By now, you’re probably as exhausted reading this as I am from writing it, so I’ll come to a close.

Despite everything that has happened this year, I have much to be grateful for. We have a wonderful team of doctors who are doing their best to keep Mr Transplant safe; weekly family Zoom meetings we began months ago and which provide a happy lifeline (quite honestly, we are keeping up better now than during normal times); a comfortable home that we love; and a garden that offers respite and peace. Our family and friends have so far managed to stay healthy. We are at an age where we do not need to worry about losing our jobs or the place we live. These are all big things. It breaks my heart for all out there who are suffering so terribly.

Every day, though, I am reminded that so much of our happiness and contentment is derived from the little things in life and it’s those things which keep me going on the difficult days. For me, the natural world is the gift that keeps on giving. A chipmunk racing acoss the patio, the sibilant sound of the breeze rustling in the trees, my sweet dog’s delight when I decree it’s time for walkies, or a little wren singing her heart out are what bring me joy. I hope you have something like that, too.

And let’s all be kind to one another.

Stay safe out there friends. I’ll be back soon with what’s happening in the workshop. Until then, I’ll leave you with this thought and a few random shots from the garden this past spring.

“Be soft, don’t let the world make you hard. Be gentle, don’t let the people make you difficult. Be kind, don’t let the realities of life steal your sweetness and make you heartless.”

― Nurudeen Ushawu

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Exciting News!…Then Let’s Catch up I'm really not exactly sure how it has come to be the 2nd of September. Are you?

#coronavirus #covid-19 #flea market decor magazine #garden #gardening #home renovation #kindness #pets #positivity

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elegant-etienne · 7 years ago

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Fashion, pastel goth, and glams in Eorzea

When I returned to Balmung about a year and a half ago, I fantasia’d Etienne with a very specific sort of soft grunge / pastel goth look in mind. While the definition of pastel goth (much like ‘goth’ in general) is vague and not very agreed-upon. In the case of Etienne’s design philosophy, it is, at its core, an embracing of elegant, feminine lines and shapes with a heavier Victorian/gothic fashion sense, while embracing a spring and summer color pallet. I classify Etienne as a pastel goth just as much because of their attitude as much as their look. I do not consider pastel goth to be ‘goth lite’, as some might categorize it. Also, I’m more of the philosophy of creating an aesthetic rather than following one, if that makes sense. Since I can’t define what pieces turn up in the game and not everything I’d like Etienne to wear is available to them, it’ll never be exactly what I’d want or imagine. But I find that to be part of the fun and the challenge.

I was very flattered recently to receive a message asking for tips on what items dye well for a pastel goth aesthetic. I’d say the Heavensward gear is best for goth stuff in general, there are a lot of gems in the leveling gear, and people are moving away from that for the time being which will give you a more standout, if possibly quaint, look. I wouldn’t say there’s a particular color or dye that works better. I bought some of the pastel pink dye for my wedding and have used it on a few other items and found it quite satisfying, but you can get a good look out of everything if you follow through with your colors and it happens to be shades that work on your character. Even the ice blue and rose pink dyes you get in the early game could be put to good use in the right context.

Siince I realized I had a ton of things I wanted to say on the subject of glams, pastel goth and fashion, as well as wanting to use visual aids. Here’s some basic ideas and philosophies that help me dress Etienne in all their pastel goth glory. All of these things are purely my opinion, every single one of them, so feel free to disagree. Preferably far away from me. I’m only an amateur when it comes to fashion. I like it a lot but I have not taken a single class or cried over a dress form or anything like that. If I get something wrong, I hope you can at least get my gist.

1. The Character Creator, Hair, Makeup, And Other Considerations

Everyone’s got that POTD haircut these days, right? But I love it!

When it comes to character customization your mileage can vary by races. I won’t begin to tell you what looks good. Aside from retainers, I’ve heardly touched any of the character creators aside from mi’qote and elezen. I’m a little obsessive about trying to make sure that my characters don’t look like everyone else’s, and that’s something that’s only brought about by long-term experience in the game. Remember that shades look different between haircuts, and if you think a skin tone or hair color looks good in the character creator, you probably want it a shade or two darker. The swatches are liars and things IG tend to look more washed out than in the CC. This shade of lavender looks like pink in the swatch, lavender looks gray or silver, etc. You can waste a lot of time, and potentially gil or fantasia on experimenting with this, but I’d say 98% of the time I’ve gone back to redo a character’s look it was mostly rectified by darkening up my color choices. So you may want to simply pick what you like instinctively, and then go a shade or two darker. I happen to like to highlight with a lighter shade of the hair’s original color to give some illusion of depth and texture, but this doesn’t work with every hairdo. Paler eyes give an illusion of life and depth to characters, but wash out very easily in screenshots or may give a lack of distinction. Lip color you can take a bit more risk on. Darker purples, reds, and even greens or blues depending on what you’re going for / your character’s skin color (the latter look great on gray and blue skin tones) look pretty awesome, and again, better to err on the darker side. A brown can be an excellent choice for a ‘neutral’ lip color that still provides a made-up, polished look.

Bright colors look best on warmer and/or darker skin tones, so if that’s part of your character, you’re in luck.

One of the best pieces of advice on creating a customizable character to RP was to simply make it and walk away, and return to it the next day. This requires a lot of patience, but I think the results speak for themselves. You may otherwise wind up playing your character and finding you dislike your choices - or you made some very basic mistake.

2. Building A Silhouette

Shh... I know this isn’t pastel.

Shape of an outfit is, in my opinion, just as important as the colors you choose. This, like many other aspects, has many factors out of your control as we cannot have items custom made and builds have little variation. It’s a video game, and frankly it’s not like most of us are getting our IRL clothes bespoke either. Just as much as you want to think about what colors you should be wearing (and if you’re a RPer like me, why your character might wear it) but if the lines look good. I tend to build an outfit around one specific, notable piece of gear. Usually it’s a coat or something like that, but it may also be a hat or boots. I take a look at the shape of the item and consider the overall silhouette of the outfit. The Thavnarian bolero is lop-sided and worn with pants beneath, as the bloodhempen casting robe. The ‘real’ bottoms for these sets are pants. I’m not fond of the way that breaks up the great line at the waist of these items and makes things look a bit lumpy and uneven. I thought a skirt was a great way to rectify this, plus it adds an interesting motion when you’re moving.

Having a lot of really ornate pieces all together at once, as well as potentially your weapons, can create a busy shape which makes an outfit seem muddled. Your admirers won’t know what to focus on. An outfit should, much like the main character of a Shonen Jump series, have a design that is simple, recognizable, distinct and attractive in silhouette.

3. Colors and Dyeing

If there’s one thing I come to again and again, it’s that you shouldn’t wear all one color.

This warddrobe color guide infographic literally changed my outlook on fashion forever, and thus, my entire glam life, and I keep the rules at the bottom for ‘foolproof combinations’ in mind at all times.

I tend to avoid traditional neutrals, if I must I’ll go with the various shades of gray that are somewhat underutilized IG. Cream yellow and bone white are ones I’ve used a bit on one of my mi’qo alts to great effect, but they are more yellow and ecru than just plain white.

I don’t have a cap that shows it, but I used to have a glam that was mostly grays with salmon pink gloves and shoes that dyed so that just the socks were that color. Using pops of color this way are an opportunity to cheat and use colors that might not look great in large amounts, or are unflattering on your character for the most part.

Remember that the more colors you have, the more bright pops, the more risk you run of looking busy, or that you simply threw together colors you liked without further consideration. That being said, I tend to enjoy using color families. Most of the light colors have darker counterparts.

When you dye an outfit a light color, many of the details get changed slightly to their darker shades. You can then pull out those colors for other pieces of your outfit and match it up. I was delighted to find out, when I got this hat in a drop, that it bore similar colors to the coat I’d already dyed colibri pink. Just because something isn’t dyeable doesn’t mean it’s going to clash with everything you own. If you like a piece, hold onto it. You never know. This is less of a problem in SB, but... just don’t ask to see poor Neondemon, my fashion retainer. Even his beefy Roe arms can’t hold all of my collection.

Plum purple wound up dying half of the boots that actual bright purple, and half of them a deep purple that coordinated with the trim and the other darker elements of the coat. In any case - dark hat, dark gloves, light shoes with a darker trim, and a very bright coat.

I also think it’s important that your earrings, etc., match the other materials you’re wearing, and that the shape compliments the outfit as well. Don’t let your earrings work against an outfit.

Here we have the combination of light coat, light hat, dark gloves, dark pants and shoes. I loved the line of the Ala Mhigan jacket and its art noveau little hat, so I decided to keep it. Even though this is a set of tomestone gear that basically everyone has, I’ve received a lot of compliments for the choices I made in dyeing this pairing it with the overall look of my character. In spite of it being an ‘ordinary’ outfit with zero alterations, I absolutely loved wearing this and how Etienne looked in these color choices. I don’t think you have to break new ground with every outfit or find the most unique, rare pieces. It may not be realistic to spend your time on that. When you dye things in unusual colors, it brings out qualities others might not have noticed or appreciated about that item. The details on the Ala Mhigan casting set are so much more noticeable in this light color, and it looks very pleasant with the snowy white trim. In spite of doing very little to ‘develop’ this glam aside from deciding on the colors, it’s one of my favorites so far.

Dark jacket, dark pants, light gloves, light shoes + paissa. #aesthetic

4. Take Risks, Get Feedback, Make Friends, And Have Fun

Or just marry someone really cute and stand next to him.

I’ve met so many awesome people because they complimented my look or my glam and I took a few minutes to chat with them about it. Complimenting others has gained me a lot of insight into different ideas, where gear comes from, how it dyes and how to pair it up with things. Allow yourself to be a work-in-progress. The one person you truly have to answer to when it comes to glams is yourself, so there’s no reason to worry to much about getting good.

I dye all my leveling gear.

I just feel like I’m having more fun when I’m pretty.

#ooc #fashion #balmung #reaction gifs

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lcncasters-blog · 7 years ago

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hey everyone!!! i’m d, i’m 23, and i use they/them pronouns. super hyped about being here so i’ma just get right into it

so kai is my fave character and kinda notoriously The Worst while also being The Best, so i’m warning y’all before we even go in that he’s actually so sloppy and wild pls proceed w/ caution. i’ve been playing him for over 4 years. that being said, he does have a fuck ton of information, so while the bullet points are going to be as condensed as i can possibly make them, you should really check out the appearance section (or you can just look at my sidebar which is wonderful artwork of kai one of my close friends did for me --- give them love on their art blog nialls ok SO talented) of his STATS FRAMEWORK and then if you really hate yourself i have a DEVELOPMENT TAG too with a bunch of headcanons (feel free to RB the rebloggable ones from me btw)

LOUIS TOMLINSON? no ⏤ KAI LANCASTER, the DEMIBOY is TWENTY-THREE and was born with a GOLD soul, and now has a GREY soul. i would describe HIM/THEM as EXUBERANT + BRAVE, yet CARELESS + IMPATIENT. KAI spends HIS/THEIR time PLAYING AT SMALL VENUES WITH HIS ALT ROCK BAND AND WORKING AS A NANNY and has lived in seattle for TWO YEARS.

TW FOR TERMINAL ILLNESS/CANCER, SUBSTANCE ABUSE MENTIONS, ABLEISM, & MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM/SUICIDE.

kai was born a gold soul into a pretty posh, old-money typea family in manchester, uk. like i’m talking on his mothers side they’re all doctors, lawyers, scholars, etc, etc, and on his dad’s side entrepeneurs. his parents themselves built a fairly large business from the ground up together that now goes by the name of lancaster industries. their current biggest venture and pretty much what they’ve built the whole of their fortune on is a chain of luxury hotels that you can find basically in every major city in the world.

he had 3 younger sisters who he essentially raised considering his parents were too busy to be around during their childhood. only two of them are still living, his youngest sister having passed a couple years ago at the age of 7 from leukemia.

his mother is literally the devil? kai always hated school/struggled in it for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which were his not diagnosed adhd and his dyslexia, which he never got the help he probably needed for. he’s always kinda just thought he was extremely stupid, and that idea was reinforced by the way his mother always used to tell him the very same thing. “think harder, kai. use your brain.” is a phrase that’s essentially been reinforced so many times in his head, he p much hears her voice ringing in his ears every time he gets so much as vaguely confused now.

that being said, despite how he struggled in school, he was always a very vibrant, kind, charismatic, and magnetic young person. he tends to draw people into him with his silly nature and upbeat attitude, and he’s kind of the Eternal Optimist, so he was fairly popular when he was attending. to say he has eccentricities would be putting it lightly, and he’s loud, never seeming to run out of things to say or fail to command the interest of the room.

anyway things with his mum only got worse in his relationship with her when he barely managed to complete his a levels by the skin of his teeth (and with an absurd amount of tutoring), and then refused to go to the university of her choosing. she p much wanted him to “get his shit together” so he could take over the family business someday, but i am not kidding when i say kai would wilt away and probably legit just die if he had to work in a place like that forever – and that’s assuming he even got through business school in the first place.

his father was always a push-over and sort of was absent/bent to her will when he was around, so he didn’t bother to defend kai when his mother decided 2 cut him off from everything and essentially ex-communicate him once she realised he was refusing 2 be manipulated and forced into shit anymore.

that was at age 18, and by that point he had plans to move out and travel to london with his best mate anyway, so he was basically like “peace out” and got the hell out of dodge. he still harbours a lot of guilt for abandoning his younger sisters, particularly so considering his youngest one fell ill so soon after his departure.

he lives, breathes, and sleeps piano. music as a whole is something he’s passionate about, having taken the time to develop his somewhat unorthodox voice, but the way his fingers fly over the ivories is a living art form more than it is anything. it’s how he communicates, how he speaks his deepest truth and just like? put those feelings out there into the world that he otherwise wouldn’t be able to articulate in the common vernacular.

so what he wants to do with his life is to just? talk to people? through his music? to play for them and the be in front of a crowd every night and to feel the energy of them, to command them with his presence and to exist with them in that way. he almost gets high off of it? he’s been playing small shows since age nineteen with his band, but since he moved to america he obvi hasn’t had them and has been on his own.

SORRY I’M REALLY TRYING TO CONDENSE THIS so ok basically he was in love w this girl from the time they were 14. they lost their virginity 2 each other, they were on & off all through HS, & then through to age 20 after he moved away and all that. she was v v ill and struggled with mental illness and kai tried his best 2 take care of her, but he was always in over his head despite his dedication to like making her feel OKAY. she needed help that he could not give 2 her, and they ended up breaking up & him letting her go at the end. she died soon after that, and it remains unclear 2 him whether or not it was a suicide. it was officially ruled as an “accident”, but he knows different and yeah i mean. essentially like.... the most “smudges” on his soul kinda came from his sitch w her bc he was always coming and leaving and dropping her and returning when she needed him and like. he TRIED but he just COULDN’T? anyways

after that he got involved with this boy who was a substance abuser, addicted to H to b exact, and for a while he thought that he was getting better and they were building off of each other, building a healthy life together. the fact he called kai his “new addiction” was probably never a good thing, but kai didn’t recognize that at the time. they got engaged eventually, and kai was 100% convinced that he was the actual love of his life after caro. of course, in the end, it wasn’t built to last, and when it went bad, it went really bad. kai eventually felt like there was a chasm several miles deep between them, and he had no hope of getting to the other side again. he broke it off, broke the guy’s heart, and made his soul even darker.

THIS NEXT ONE IS KINDA AN OPTION CONNECTION OKAY SO IF ANY1 IS INTERESTED PLS PLS LMK!!!

kai has been posting vids on YT of him covering songs on his YouTube for like actual years, and when he was around 20 he met this person via the comments section on one of them. they seemed to be quite the fan of his interpretation of some of the songs he chose to play. they ended up talking more and more as time went on, exchanging contact information, and grew very very very close.

that was the start of the LDR that is what brought him to america/to seattle in the first place. they were together for about eight months and had seen each other in person three times for a total of about 3 weeks before he made the decision to get started on his visa and move to the states. the moment he was able to, he crossed the pond and moved in w them!!

strain on their relationship was created when at first kai was unable to find work and contribute to the bills and the household funds. they lived in a tiny flat, and going from barely seeing each other to having each other all at once and all the time was a lot. on top of that, kai was homesick and restless and felt trapped because that’s what kai does and it’s not okay and it’s totally wrong and he cheated on them soooo there’s another tick against his soul ig. within six months of his arrival, they broke up, and kai moved out.

he couch surfed w some friends he’d met 4 a while, and eventually found a decent paying job as a nanny for a well off family.

he plays live shows at small venues in bars/clubs and still seeks to make a living as a musician but it’s hard out there and plus his soul aint exactly the prettiest to look at any more. i mean he doesn’t have a DARK DARK grey soul, it’s more a lighter grey, not quite silver, but definitely not storm clouds.

he’s still working on getting his full citizenship though he’s v v v close 2 it & has been lowkey getting help from his cousin w paying for the process so!!

THAT’S BASICALLY IT

last but not least IM REALLY FUCKING SORRY ICOULDN’T MAKE THIS SHORTER I JUST HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS AND fEELIGNSA

SEND ME AN IM OR LIKE IF YOU WANT TO PLOT!

#soulintro #i fucking hate myself

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marcus-zilliox-poetry-blog · 7 years ago

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Daily Détournement (a series of small bits of writing and snips of poems compiled with future editing opportunities)

Give us this day our daily détournement one liners will take you far

There's a pipeline built thru my dreams Spilling crude nightmares in my sleep

your fleet, a slickened creek a man may row a little boat under cover of dawn skies peach punk wood carves lively measures depth of puddles What not to knot for naught under cover of dry umbrella opened indoors

to the stars we are dust = ad sidera pulvis sumus we are dust to the stars = ad sidera pulvis sumus we are the dust of distant dead stars = mortuorum stellis procul pulvis sumus

Love met Death on an unlit hunting road on the night of Thanksgiving O, I have seen you these many weeks thru slits of blinds Lo, I have shown you myself so that you may see me Hark, the pale blues and the umber shadows are beaming the start of a golden ring ends where it begins at melancholy flowers.

Love met Misunderstanding beneath brutalism

Death met Death and made Love in the most beloved of Apollo

Death met death mirrored in a cracked phone screen

APPLY PAIN HERE

I DREAMT I WAS SYLVIA PLATH OVEN ON KITCHEN SMELT OF GAS

The void into the Void I'd avoid Every minute is last call And I don't even have a dollar For the tip Her name is done More following than followers Edit privacy Only me Locked post The grave earth embrace

APPLY SALVE HERE

I fought the knife and the knife won

I SPILT PAIN ALLOVER MYSELF

D : i's decolonize D : eyes

Your nipple is a planet with clouds of areola glow

corpse imprisons spirit in solitary confinement

take a braid chaser straight no chaser took a braid chaser straight no chaser how you like it is how you like it who am I to question dogs bay all day

I could not see in the end predicted revolver recoiled and mouthed a silver car

immodium suicide moksha

don't tell me how to sleep

at the rest stop tired

sardine spines in soup spoonful

the sound she makes like doves in mourning feo tu feo tu

we can never say where the paths we did not take would have led this shadow clings to my feet all during the day and surrounds me in drowning all the night invades my sleep with nightmares and my waking eyes in tears knows all paths end in the grave

I can't escape this thing I am, only death cures

And he smote them hip and thigh with a great slaughter He goeth down and dwelleth in the cleft of the rock Judges 15 :8

o' they hide in death for life and breath o' they hide in death (derived from Ephesians 3:18 " o the height and depth [of Gods love]"

the shadow is varied and turning atonal bars tinkle on porches torches sputtered for dark is showing he hides in death of ropes tightened and creaking

(no variation or shadow turning James 1:17)

we wear what we wore what

sheela na gig sheila NA Gig Sheila NAG ig

Hello darkness shadow umbra my imaginary best friend for life my first wife from the womb My last breath and flower strewn tomb If there is a god made me broken to hell with him

Karl May did not write about me Old shattered hands did not whinny too

three chained thurible by thurifer is swung

And give us those trespassers who trespassed against us.

The username is not unique

the rivers of her eye dries

I FOUGHT THE GUN AND IT WON

Now a river flowed out of Eve to water the guards in nedE

Now a blood rivers out of Eve to water the avant garde

witch hazel water hazel eye of witch flower helps with vomitingblood and inflammation

in utero infection impacts the premature

I dreamt I was a minor character in a novel by Tony Hillerman

Woke up one morning on the old Chisholm Trail My rain in my hand and a cloud by the tail

My danged old slicker's in the wagon again single file in argyle, empty inside

I dreamt I was in a Tony Hillerman movie, not even a minor character, no speaking parts, I mostly just waved and sold a Snickers but they edited me out, on the cutting room floor

I was in a Tony Hillerman novel, very minor character, a shadow in the background they edited out

I was in a horror movie no speaking parts a shadow in the background

in need of a homemade therapeutic emotional massage

iron smashes ion in the end can not see

dragged into the unlight

if I wake before I die

pee me a river

Two thousand graves dug for all the days I loved you

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made no difference

ancient desert gods try invade my songs

Flesh eating god a necrotizing deity

water over the bridge

square root of negative one

TAKE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO hardy har har

the ghosts of chalcedony wildflowers scent the sugilite sujiman

On the corner of Lovecraft and Ballard

everyday the slaves building the pyramids in Egypt would stand up and say "Let's make history"

socks below seesaw

decapitalism

pati diem endure the day

weed killer weed

yutani = hot water valley

Fruit of a failed policy

but I really think the goal here is to find another job, so I can work as much as possible. I am hoping I can work myself to death. that would be the perfect cherry on pile of shit ice cream of a life haha

erroneous fap

rohypnol wine roofie wine

Leave the rat race to the rats

the skin of the prick is the thinnest

gentrifire destroys everything in its path

the bully says 'stop hurting my hand by making me punch you'

Why is the speed of darkness faster than the speed of light?

SUNSPOT CORPSES

You can't act ironic anymore because you are ironic.

venture vultures

investor identity politics art

zombie animated by the spirit of venture capital

indian headdress made of shredded american flags indian headdress made of dollar bills

no more Red Dawn for Vladimir

vanishing Indian, extinct race, savages, primitive, tragic, noble

in revolt against commodification this will not be printed in a book. oh okay go ahead

google earth: to see all the places you will never go before you die!

gmo corn used to spell out the words 'death to america' under resin layer on canvas

you can't see the horizon/sunrise while standing/lying/laying in a grave

bread and water: its what for dinner! #starvingartist

toilet paper pythagorean thereom toilet paper rolls pythagorean theorem "Mummy Striped Bare"

47 tostadas in Pythagorean theorem 47 tacos from Siete Mares arranged in Pythagorean theorem 47 tacos from Taco Bell arranged in Pythagorean theorem 47 melted chocolates in Phx summer sun arranged in Pythagorean theorem

It's an alpha dog world and I'm a cat

Pythagorean Theorem vis a vis blood quantum Euclidean Proof of Pythagorean Theorem (EPOPT) as self-portrait etc

a deep and ugly shadow has crossed my soul, many months now, can't remember when, seems always this way, gets worse and worse, like hundreds of ants eating me it is only the pain I would cause by leaving the world that keeps from leaving, the art is a channeling of my darkness, an undug grave the shadow is a cancerous growth, a tumor feeding on bits of my soul, until I am the cancer with an oroboros halo

I cannot light fires at the bottom of the ocean

someone recently asked me to describe what my work is about in one word, I said "depression" …melancholia…sadness And who will say that I stayed much too long?

someone asked what I've been working on, spring time i started working on Window as a theme, then What do I see thru the Window, The Sun, The Moon, the grave freshly dug, a grave for the sun, a grave for the moon, the Death of the Sun, The Mourner for the Deaths of the Sun and The Moon.

I need to eat something, before I become the dead King of Anorexia

ive a man corn and you feed him for a day; teach a man to grow corn and he'll slaughter your people and take your land

On the growing of weeds

my melancholy flowers

my dreams got caught and eaten by a spider

cabbage patch kid autopsy, opened brain

if I was you I'd go home too

ill relevant

alt-abs = beer belly

Vencer o morir,” meaning “Win or die.”

alt-preppie

pati diem endure the day

A Ridiculously Long Security Checkpoint

fake news, back in my day we called it lying

O’ Cinnamon where will you run to?

the crow is in the oven a sauce is being prepared

FROM BELOW WITHIN UPON

andwhenyouknowyouarecursedeventhesunbeatsyoudown

EYES ABOVE SO BELOW

when people stop believing in god it isn’t that they believe in nothing; they stopped believing in nothing

false flags wave weakly

silent shoulder shrugs

tears from a cloud

THIS POEM WILL BE COMPLETE UPON THE FOURTH READING OUT LOUD

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