#I could rant about a few people who have done this
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themareverine · 2 days ago
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i deleted my hugh jackman and sutton post. for a lot of reasons. but mostly, because honestly, i need to get a life and realize this isn't my business.
edit to add: if you see it floating around the hellsite from reblogs, please remember this and know my stance has changed and reference others here, thanks.
in reality this is a man i don't know, and what he does in his personal life is between him and God, ultimately. i feel the same way about my life. it was stupid of me to rant this out and keyboard warrior my thoughts.
and no, i didn't do it because of the big feelings comments. i'm thirty frickin' years old and need to wake up, there's bigger things out there. do unto others as you would have done to you, and i surely wouldn't want done to me what i just did three hours ago with Hugh, no matter how disappointed i think i may be.
not sure what kind of pedastal i have this man on aside from his good looks, jeez.
just manage your expectations, people, and live. breathe. drink some water. go look at the sky and touch some grass. he's just a man. he's literally just a man.
my aunt gave me the best advice a few weeks ago. "there's nobody on this earth i don't think i could meet and be intimidated by," and i'm approaching this much the same way. nobody's personal life is worth this much rent in my head for free, this isn't going to bother me or deflate me or ruin what i think of love and men and relationships.
this is the last and formal apology for playing into this mess, let's move on as a community. there's a man with forks for hands to love, and i don't really care who wears his face.
my last spiel about this, bye.
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dreamedfyre-a · 6 months ago
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and if i say i hate that one of the uh 5 mentions hel.aena has in f&b is about her being loved by the people in contrast to the public opinion of rhae.nyra at that point and her death sparking a riot only to have to watch her be attacked bc rhae.nyra is the only good queen allowed on the show
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tanicus-caesareth · 8 months ago
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guarana drama, damage control
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soreiya · 1 year ago
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If you have an irrational fear of criticism. Perhaps it would be in your best interests to actively avoid it for your own mental health? I’ve recently witnessed some individuals become so defensive that they tried to project their own negative emotions onto others. In which case, they are only making themselves more miserable by sending condescending anon messages, obsessively scouring fandom tags/other people’s pages, and comment responses looking for something to be upset about. Getting angry enough to do things like this makes it apparent that this is very much a ‘you’ problem and not a fandom issue.
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Criticism is not anti behavior. I’m going to try my best to explain the difference. Hopefully this will clear things up a bit.
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A critic will elaborate and break down their opinions in an attempt to get other people to understand their point of view. This is usually done on their individual page and will be tagged to the appropriate fandom/s in question. If a criticism post has been tagged incorrectly, kindly inform the author about the issue. Block the new criticism tag, or the author in question if you don’t want to be exposed to anything more.
Criticism might be annoying to see sometimes, but it can also give you an opportunity to learn something new or view things from a different perspective.
People who genuinely enjoy something are not going to stop doing so just because of some random stranger’s thoughts on the subject. More often than not fandom decline comes from someone simply losing interest and moving on to another fandom. Thinking otherwise might be a bit delusional.
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Anti behavior is invasive. These people will go out of their way to express their hatred for something by directly commenting on other people’s posts/fanworks. They act entitled as if it’s justified to want the content gone. They will try to harass people in an attempt to get them to leave the community. If that doesn’t work, they may go as far as attempting to socially cancel you with lies, or other ignorant statements. When writing their own posts, antis will condemn others for liking content that they do not. They will insult people, or label them as something inappropriate in order to give them a sense of superiority as if they are taking the moral high ground by being mean to other fans.
Keep in mind that most people are afraid to voice their opinions because of people who act like this.
Anti behavior absolutely should not be tolerated under any circumstances. Don’t allow such people to ruin your fandom experience. Block on sight and move on.
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yamikawaii · 3 months ago
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like idk how to get my therapist to understand that I believe almost everyone's love for me is conditional because it has been proven to me time and time again that i am actually one of the very rare cases of people who can experience unconditional love in the first place. is it that so hard to understand
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thatonetargaryen · 9 days ago
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My Tears Ricochet
Ambessa Medarda x Reader
Part One of: Our Tears Ricochet
Synopsis: You and Ambessa have been married for nearly two decades—and your love was one many people could only dream of achieving. But when your wife leaves overseas to visit her daughter, you strained relationship finally reaches it’s peak.
cw; afab!reader; angst ; infidelity ; local cuisine makes an appearance ; suggestive behavior ; Ambessa being a bad wife
Special thanks to @hell0-ki55y for the prompt. I hope you like it :). Might do ‘Pretty In Pink’ one next.
……
The warm ocean breeze flowed through your (h/c) hair as you gazed upon the horizon. The ship slightly rocked side to side, and you knew you were bond to get seasick soon.
You were currently on your way to visit your wife—the formidable General Ambessa Medarda. She had recently took leave from Noxus to come to Piltover, though her reasons were scattered. You two shared a constant stream of letters back and forth, and she told you how the journey went and her rants of disgust towards the council. Sometimes that’s all she wrote to you about. You didn’t mind. What you did mind—however—was when the letters stopped coming.
It started off small—you wrote one letter to her and didn’t get a reply. Simply shrugging it off and saying to yourself ‘maybe it got lost in the mail’, you sent another….and another…and another. It didn’t take long for you to suspect something.
Piltover was as greedy as they are unpredictable. While you doubt they would’ve done anything to Ambessa (considering they would lose much,much more than they’d gain), you wouldn’t take any chances. Anything could’ve happened.
She could’ve fallen ill—or worse. At first the thought of it simply slipping her mind was there, but it quickly vanished. Ambessa was never one to let anything associated with you slip her mind.
What really set your suspensions high was when her daughter, Mel Medarda—who you had a close relationship with for most of her life, one you cherished—replied to a letter you sent asking about Ambessa.
‘You should come see for yourself.’
The sentence left you in a state of confusion—but also reassurance. Ambessa was fine, but….something was wrong. It wasn’t how your wife doing….
It was what your wife was doing.
……
The ship finally arrived at the docks of Piltover. The few servants and guards that were aboard the ship disembark and helped you unload the few bags you brought with you.
You looked around—searching for Ambessa. You had sent a letter saying you were worried for her and would sail there, but you knew she hadn’t gotten it.
Instead, you were met with the council member and your lovely step-daughter—Mel.
She smiled as you approached. It had been a while seen you’d seen each other, and she towered over you. You engulfed her in a big, warm hug—one that she seemed to desperately need.
“Oh, Mel…”, you said into her shoulder.
“Mother…”, she whispered back. She had gave you the title years ago, yet sometimes, you still felt you didn’t deserve it.
The two of you shared a moment of silence, taking in each other. Her gaze was soft and warm, yet pity lied beneath it.
You smiled and held onto her shoulders. “Mel, look how much you’ve grown!”
She laughed, “Wish I could say the same for you.”, she said as she gazed down at your shorter frame.
You bumped your hip against yours as you two intertwined your arms. “I stopped growing many, many years ago. It’s something I’ve came to peace with.”
The two of you continued to talk as your servants and guards trailed you with your few belongings. You commented on the things you saw, asked Mel how her position as a councilwoman was, and who her new boy-toy was all about. She visibly cringed when you brought him up. Though, she would’ve dwelled more on that topic than the one involving the whole reason you came here.
“What’s going on with your mother?”, you finally asked.
Mel looked around, now slightly uncomfortable. She replied to you with a simple “Hm” as the two of you continued walking. You halted her in her tracks.
“Hm? Really? Your mother’s acting weird..and now you too?”
She bit the inside of her mouth before she sighed, now fully facing you. “Did you notice anything strange before she left?”
You were taken aback by her question, but after a moment of thinking , you answered, “Well, she has been quite distant as of late. But, you know how she can get. And she hasn’t been reply to the letters I’ve sent her.”
Mel looked at you as if she had solved a puzzle—the thoughts connecting in her mind. But there wasn’t an ounce of celebration on her face. She grabbed both of your hands, contemplating what to say next. “I’ll take you to see her. She’s not far from here.”
You looked at Mel in confusion, while she took you softly by the hand and led you towards Ambessa.
The rest of the walk was spent in an uncomfortable silence.
……
You arrived at a beautiful building. While the sight of it was breathtaking—it was as just as plain as the rest of Piltover.
Mel nodded towards the entrance. “She’s in there”, she whispered.
You nodded, and signaled for your servants and guards to wait here. You hiked your skirt and began to ascend up the white stairs. You spared one more glance in Mel’s direction, and found her speaking with your servants and guards. Your excitement was uncontrollable as you got closer and closer to the entrance. You hadn’t seen your wife in weeks—and the things you wanted to do to her were unspeakable. You bit your bottom lip just thinking about it.
For a moment, you could hear was sounded like men’s laughter. You brushed it off, until you heard it again—though this time it was muffled.
What had taken you aback the most—however—was the sound of your wife’s deep, low breaths. The ones she made when she…
No.
After an eternity, you reached the top of the stairs. And it took everything in you not to scream right then and there.
There Ambessa was, her back turned to you as she sat upon a large, lavish couch. From where you stood, you could see her the coils of her grey hair fall on her shoulders as she laid back. Sat perched on her lap was a man—with fiery auburn hair and pale skin. He was petite and charming—almost like a woman. His lips were full as he licked them and his green hungry eyes raked over your wife’s frame.
Her honey-kissed hands roamed his body in ways only she had promised to touch you in. You felt a mix of emotions all at once at the sight. Anger, resentment, confusion, surprise, sadness. You wanted to scream and shout. Every painting and vase in the room didn’t know how much you wanted to break it.
But instead of doing any of that, you simply whispered her name.
“Ambessa?”
The man’s eyes shot open as he suddenly looked towards you. Embarrassment and surprise was evident on his face, but he made no move to get off Ambessa’s lap.
Your wife finally turned around to catch your eye, and you’d never seen her looked so surprised. Looking her in the eye was your breaking point as you rushed out the room, hot tears streaming down your face.
“Y/N!”, she called out your name, but to no avail. She moved to get up, but noticed the twink still on her lap.
“Get off me, you fool!”, she roughly pushed him off. He fell to the floor with a thud and stared at Ambessa’s frame as she raced out the room. The wine was long gone—now spilled across the once white pristine floor.
“Wait! Y/N!”, she called out once again. She looked around frantically, and noticed some of her guards stationed at the bottom of the stairs.
“Stop her!”, she commanded, but they ignored her as they ushered you into a car.
Mel closed the door just as her mother was about to approach. She pulled on the handle, only to find it locked.
She stopped to look inside the glass, and found the last person she was expecting—Mel. She looked at her mother sternly in disappointment through the glass. There wasn’t an ounce of sympathy. She simply shook her head. With a wave of her hand, the car was off.
Ambessa stood there dumbfounded, angry, and regretful.
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yuvany · 4 months ago
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BE MINE...PLEASE
𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍 confessing their love because you don't realise that they love you.
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OT7 ENHYPEN x female reader . . . CONTENT/ WARNING(S) : fluff + friends to lvrs + kissing in a few + little long + not proofread . . WORD COUNT : 1168. CHECK BOX !!
yu-note : side-tracked on some, and got off topic, but I hope you enjoy this ! - REQUEST FOUND HERE !!
( REBLOGS + FEEDBACK always appreciated !! )
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𝗟𝗘𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗨𝗡𝗚
"I've always loved you, Y/n!" He says, his voice sounding desperate like he's been holding it in for so long. You try to reply, but he interrupts, "I don't know how I should tell you this, but I've been asking your friends for help and I've done what they said, but it still doesn't work." You place a palm on his shoulder to calm him down. "Heeseung, I see you as a close friend, and I never really wanted to make it awkward." Heeseung approaches you, his eyes meeting yours again. "So, do you like me too?" He asks, his tone seeking for your assurance with eyes seeming more desperate than his words. You hum, and see how his eyebrows loosen upon hearing your answer. "I in fact do." You say, trailing your fingers up the contours of his face, locking eyes with him and leaning in for a kiss.
𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗝𝗢𝗡𝗚𝗦𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗚
It was valentines day, and Jay had planned every detail on a microscopic level for it to be perfect. In the morning, he went and bought a bouquet of roses, then he picked up the teddy bear before he went to see you. His heart began to race, and in his mind, he thought he would get a heart attack. At the junction of the roads you see him sitting on a bench. "Jay? Who are these gifts for? Is it for Soha?" You ask, and he shakes his head. You throw in more guesses, but get it wrong. "Y/n." He interrupts. "These are for you" You are shook by this. "Wait, are you for real?" Jay nods his head, and hands you the bouquet first. "Yeah, I don't know how you didn't catch up on all of my hint up until now." He rants "Jay, I actually always liked you too, but I didn't wanna get ahead of myself here!" You smile, and you see his tense expression relax. "Really?" "Really."
𝗦𝗜𝗠 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗬𝗨𝗡
You and him went to see a movie, a movie that Jake had chosen. Jake insisted that he carries the bowls of popcorn even though you offered to help. "What movie are we seeing?" You ask your friend after finding your seats. "It'll be a surprise." He says, his usual smile painting his face. After a couple of minutes into the movie, you figure out that it's a romance movie upon seeing the main characters kiss. "Didn't realise you could bring friends to watch a romance movie." You joke, and Jake chuckles a bit. "Now you know what movie to bring your future girlfriend to." Jake is silent, getting impatient now. "Will you be my 'future' girlfriend?" It takes a moment for you to realise what he said as you see him get closer. "Me?" His hand holds onto yours as he nods. "Of course." You say and close the distance between you two to peck his lips.
𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙆 𝙎𝙐𝙉𝙂𝙃𝙊𝙊𝙉
While you and Sunghoon are walking together, he asks if you've gotten any love letters. "I have, but they're never from the right person." You sigh, and he nods along. "What do you mean?" You explain how the only love letters you get are from people you don't know and that it's all so vague, and also how you wish people gave you hints that they liked you if they were to send you a letter. As Sunghoon listens closely to your rant, he realised that he has been hinting his love for you, but yet you don't realise. "Y/n, I have something to confess." He says, and you nod your head. "I've wanted to say this for a while, but I thought you'd catch on all the hints I've dropped that I like you, but it hurts hearing you speak so casually about them. So here it is; I love you." You are stunned by this confession, and say, "I have noticed, but I always thought they were on accident. It lightens my heart that you love me, because I like you too."
𝗞𝗜𝗠 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗢𝗢
Isn't one to easily get worked up and frustrated, but when he sees you getting more distant and avoidant, he starts to state questions in his head. First, he goes over to ask your friends, but they say that they have no idea why that is. Had he done something? He spots you turning a corner and rushes over to you with quick strides. You see him, but it is too late to turn around and escape becuase you two already made eye contact. "Y/n!" He calls out. "Sunoo..." You drag out with a forced smile. "Have I done something? Why are you ignoring me?" He asks, leaving no room for greetings. "I'm not-" "Yes, you are!" He sighs, and you copy. "I heard you talking about a girl, and I guessedd it was her from class ( ), and I know she likes you too, so I didn't want to come in between you two." You see Sunoo giggle, his demeanor turning around. "You're so silly. That girl I was talking about is you!" You flush at how ridiculous your assumtion was.
𝗬𝗔𝗡𝗚 𝗝𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗪𝗢𝗡
He takes you to a cafe, offering to buy you something warm in contrast to the weather. Jungwon guides you over to a table before he walks up to the register, asking for a latte, and requesting a heart design on it with your initial on it. He really hoped you'd get the hint, knowing that he'd explode if he didn't confess. When it arrives, you arch an eyebrow. "Did yoy add my initial?" you ask while inspecting the drink. Jungwon nods, and you shrug it off, not paying it any mind. "You know, this might be a hint..." He coos. "Like what?" "Maybe that I like you?" he says, dragging out each syllable. You look up at him confused, seeing his eyebrows knitted in worry. "I hope you don't that this the wrong way." Jungwon adds in a hurry. You playfully scoffs, "of course not."
𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗠𝗨𝗥𝗔 𝗥𝗜𝗞𝗜
"I am better than him, I'm sure you know that." Riki announces, catching you off-guard by the sudden switch in tone. "What are you saying, Riki?" You look up at him confused from the couch. "Were you peeking at my phone?" You ask, conneccting the dots. "Yeah? But why are you trying to get together with someone else when I'm right here?" He asks, his words coming out like a cannon was fired. "Not quite sure by what you mean." You say, and Riki tilts his head as well as raising an eyebrow. "I see your phone still. Who even is he? He looks short." Riki points at you phone screen as he commenst nastily. "It's not even for me. My friend sent me this, but to answer your question, I'm certain you're better than him." It's quiet, and Riki hides his face in his hoodie after being embarrased. "No need to be shy now. I liked the bold Riki." You say.
TAGLIST : @dollyhoon @itjengirl @saeivra @orimuraa
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narxcisse · 1 month ago
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★ — Mama's boy Jason Todd headcanons
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Jason Todd x Mother/Mother figure!Reader
CW: mention of Jason's death (+reader blames Bruce for his death), fluff, I did my best to keep it canon without romanticizing or fanonizing anything. 😭
English isn't my native language
Jason met you before his days as Robin, back when he was still living on the streets. You were one of the rare adults who didn’t look at him with pity or disdain but instead treated him with quiet respect. Maybe you ran a small diner, a shelter, or worked as a social worker with no patience for bureaucracy.
The first time Jason came into your life, he wasn’t looking for help. He was scrappy, full of fire, and incredibly proud, but you saw past the bravado to the hungry, clever kid beneath. You offered him food without strings attached, and from then on, he kept coming back.
When Bruce took him in, you were one of the few people he trusted enough to talk to. He didn’t tell you about being Robin outright, but you noticed he’d sometimes show up with bruises or a limp, his explanations half-hearted at best.
Jason sought your advice on everything—from school troubles to navigating the strange dynamics of the Wayne household. You often found yourself acting as a translator for his emotions when he struggled to articulate them.
He valued your opinion deeply. If you told him to apologize to Bruce for a fight or to take a break when he was pushing himself too hard, he’d grumble but almost always listen.
Even as Robin, Jason was fiercely protective of you. If he thought someone was giving you trouble or you were in any danger, his sharp instincts kicked in. “No one messes with my mom,” he’d mutter, even if you insisted you could handle yourself.
Jason’s growing disillusionment with Bruce often spilled into your conversations. You tried to mediate, understanding both sides but always prioritizing Jason’s feelings.
When he died, it broke you in a way you didn’t think was possible. You immediately blamed Bruce for letting him take on so much danger, not even letting him explain everything that happened. (Over time you apologized to him for what happened and understood that he was just as devastated as you were by Jason's death.)
When Jason came back as Red Hood, he avoided you for a long time. He didn’t think you’d accept him, not after everything he’d done. But when he finally worked up the courage to see you, he was stunned to find you opening your arms to him without hesitation.
“You’ve been through hell, Jason. I’m just glad you’re alive.” Those words stuck with him more than anything else anyone had said since his return.
You didn’t sugarcoat your disappointment in his methods, but you also didn’t try to control him. You understood that his pain and anger needed to run their course. Instead, you focused on reminding him that he still had someone who believed in him.
Jason acts tough, but around you, he’s a little softer. He loves the comfort of having someone who doesn’t expect him to be anything other than himself.
He calls you more than he calls anyone else. Sometimes it’s to rant, sometimes it’s just to check in. “You eat yet?” he’ll ask, even if he’s halfway across the world.
Whenever he’s in Gotham, he always makes time to visit you. He’ll bring little gifts—books he thinks you’ll like, a weird trinket from some mission, or your favorite snack.
Jason craves your approval more than he’d ever admit. When you compliment his growth or tell him you’re proud of him, he practically glows, even if he rolls his eyes and pretends to brush it off.
He’s fiercely protective of you, more so than anyone else. If he even suspects someone’s giving you a hard time, he’ll show up unannounced, ready to “handle” it. You usually have to calm him down before he goes full Red Hood.
You’re one of the few people who can challenge Jason’s darker impulses without him lashing out. “You don’t have to agree with me, but at least think about it,” you’ll say, and he actually does.
When he’s struggling with his identity—whether he’s a hero, an anti-hero, an anti-villain or something else entirely (bro seriously thinks he's Barbie. 😭🙏)—you’re his anchor. You remind him that he’s more than his past, more than his mistakes.
Jason often credits you for keeping him grounded. He’ll never say it outright, but you’re one of the reasons he hasn’t spiraled further.
Jason fixing things around your home without being asked—tightening loose hinges, replacing lightbulbs, and even rebuilding your bookshelves because he “didn’t like the wobble.”
Late-night phone calls where he opens up about his fears and frustrations, his voice quieter and more vulnerable than usual.
Cooking together when he visits, even if he claims he’s “not great in the kitchen.” He loves hearing your stories as you work side by side.
The rare moments when he lets his guard down completely, resting his head on your shoulder or letting you ruffle his hair like he’s still the scrappy kid you first met.
Jason may be a complicated, broken man, but with you, he finds a sense of peace he doesn’t get anywhere else. To him, you’re not just a mother figure—you’re his family, his safe place, and the person who never gave up on him.
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The first sign something was wrong was the way Jason entered your apartment—quiet, almost hesitant. He was usually a storm of energy when he visited, slamming the door behind him and announcing his arrival with some sarcastic quip. But today, he just slipped inside, set his helmet down carefully on the counter, and stood there, staring at nothing.
You didn’t need to ask if he was okay. You already knew he wasn’t.
“Jason?” you called softly from the couch, setting down the book you’d been reading.
He didn’t respond right away, just shrugged off his jacket and draped it over a chair. His movements were slower than usual, less precise. It was like the weight of the world was pressing down on his shoulders, and for once, even his stubbornness couldn’t hold it up.
You stood and approached him carefully, giving him space to come to you if he needed it. “Rough day?”
He let out a low chuckle, but there was no humor in it. “Something like that.”
You waited, not pressing him to elaborate. Jason had always been like this—he’d open up when he was ready, and not a second before.
For a moment, you thought he might brush you off entirely. But then, with a deep sigh, he turned to you, his expression a mixture of frustration and exhaustion. “I don’t know. I just…” He trailed off, raking a hand through his hair. “I didn’t know where else to go.”
That admission made your heart ache. Jason, who always acted like he didn’t need anyone, who carried his pain like armor, had come to you because he didn’t know what else to do.
Without a word, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him. He stiffened for half a second—old habits, you supposed—but then he melted into the embrace, burying his face in your shoulder.
“I’m just so tired,” he muttered, his voice muffled.
“I know, sweetheart,” you murmured, rubbing slow circles on his back. “I know.”
He held onto you like you were a lifeline, his broad shoulders shaking slightly. You didn’t push him to explain, didn’t try to fix it. You just held him, letting him unload the weight he’d been carrying for who-knows-how-long.
Minutes passed, or maybe hours. Time didn’t seem to matter. Eventually, Jason pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes red but a little clearer.
“Thanks,” he said gruffly, his voice thick with emotion.
“You don’t have to thank me,” you replied, brushing a stray strand of hair from his face. “That’s what I’m here for.”
He huffed out a small laugh, the corner of his mouth twitching upward. “Yeah, well, don’t go getting used to this. I’m not turning into a softie or anything.”
You smiled, tapping his chest lightly. “Don’t worry. You’re still the toughest guy I know.”
Jason rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. Instead, he leaned into your touch again, letting his head rest on your shoulder. For the first time in what felt like forever, he allowed himself to just be—a son needing his mom. And you were more than happy to give him what he needed.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
AN: I wrote this for my bestie, I hope you liked it. 💗🤺
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jadeylovesmarvelxo · 7 months ago
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Somewhere Only We Know
Dustin wants to know why Eddie despises you over every other member of the dark side. You're just some cheerleader, right? What could you have possibly done to incur Eddie's wrath?
Starts off with Dusty Buns POV, then Eddie then yours.
Mentions of weed, Jason being a prick, Eddie pines but won't admit it... Mdni. Vecna? Who's Vecna.
🖤💌
Dustin truly thought Eddie Munson was one of the coolest people he had ever known, Steve of course was on that list of total badasses as well.
However for all, Dustin knew of Eddie and that was a lot (the guy made his feelings loud and clear on a variety of things, conformity, Jason Carver, why metal was the superior genre of music, Jason Carver.
But in the few short months since Dustin joined Hellfire and was taken under Eddie's wing, there was one topic he wasn't so clued up on, and that was you and the mystery of why Eddie seemed to despise you above everyone else in this school.
He had tried to casually bring the topic of you up, sure you were a cheerleader and on the dark side and Eddie hated conformity and shit but clearly you had done something painful to Eddie for him to hate you like this.
Dustin wasn't exaggerating either, anytime you and Eddie were in the same vicinity of each other it was like the temperature dropped in the room and Dustin was chilled to the bone at the icy glares between you and Eddie.
Literally, the mention of your name had Eddie's eyes filling with disdain. "She's a traitor and can't be trusted, don't ask about her again Henderson" Eddie snapped during one lunch break when Dustin brought you up out of curiosity.
"Uh meaning?" he asks confused but not wanting to piss Eddie off any further. His question is ignored until Gareth answers it quietly.
"She used to be in Hellfire, then she tried out for a spot on the cheerleading squad and got in. Refused to choose between the two, said she could do both and that Eddie was being an asshole, they had a big fight and she left Hellfire. It broke Eddie's heart even though he pretends otherwise"
Well, shit. "Don't tell him I told you that dude and don't bring her up again. Touchy subject" Dustin nods and expects that's the last he will hear about you.
It's not.
💌
Eddie ignores the chatter around him while his gaze is solely focused on you. Jackson had been hanging around you constantly and for some reason, it pissed Eddie off. Couldn't he enjoy his pretzels and Yoohoo in peace without seeing such a sickening display?
If Eddie felt a twist in his gut every time Jackson got too close to you then that was his business.
"Can't they go to the bleachers and hash it out so I don't have to bring up my lunch every time Jackass decides to flirt" Eddie snaps and narrows his eyes at you, Gareth rolls his eyes and Jeff hides his snort behind a cough when Eddie's glare is aimed at him.
"Dude she's not even interested in him. He was an asshole when they dated and she got sick of him within two weeks" Jeff is apparently very informed on the matter and this annoys him even more.
"You're very informed on the dating lives of the dark side Jeff?" Jeff shrugs and mutters something under his breath, something suspiciously like he still talks to you from time to time.
This would be Eddie's next rant. Giving the time of days to traitors was not in the Hellfire handbook, just because they had pretty eyes and a sweet but deadly smile was not an excuse to break said rule.
Unfortunately, he has a deal to make, the rant would be adjourned to another time. "Gentlemen, I must leave you now to embark on a quest for gold in the deep dark woods" he bows then heads out to his spot in the woods.
Waits for ten minutes and thinks that whoever it is isn't coming. All he had to signify the meeting was a note in his locker and he's still unsure if he's walking into a trap by Carver.
Impatient and just about to give up, he gets up and then stills when he sees you walk into the clearing. What the shit... Since when did you smoke weed? He's never known you to do it in any of the time he's known you.
"Munson" you nod and he closes his gaping mouth as you join him on the table, he expects you to be tense but you close your eyes and enjoy the cool wind and the peace of just the birds singing and leaves rustling gently. He forgot how much you liked being out here.
He clears his throat refusing to get lost in memories and you sigh, open your eyes and he stares back impassively. "Surprised Jackass isn't hanging off you like a limpet" he snarks and you roll your eyes at his tone.
"Jackson' you emphasize ''needs to take a hint. Look, Megan asked me to pick up weed for the party this weekend, so we can cut to the chase" Eddie snorts, you never did have time for bullshit.
"How much do you want?" you shrug and place twenty-five bucks on the table.
"Carver is paying apparently" There is a glint of mischief in your eyes and you smile impishly. Eddie does not get lost in that smile, no way. He clears his throat and smirks.
"Well if it's Carver's money" he takes the full amount and is surprised when you unsuccessfully try to hide a smile. He sobers up and plays with his rings, looks at you briefly then speaks again.
"Uh, it's potent so just make sure that you don't get overboard" he spits it out quickly, like he doesn't care either way what you do. You pause before getting up and there's that soft smile again.
"Careful Munson, anyone would think you still care about me'' there's a sadness to your tone and Eddie watches you go. There's an ache in his chest that feels all too familiar.
💌
You loved cheerleading, the closeness you felt with the rest of the team, learning routines together and having each other's backs. The close friendship you had with Chrissy and Tina. It was senior year and the cheer squad were on the precipice of winning a trophy for the school.
In that sense your life was perfect. In other ways not so much. You hated Jason but tolerated him for Chrissy. Jackson wouldn't stop bugging you to go back out with him, even though you had barely dated him for two weeks and grew tired of his jealous and demanding behaviour.
No way were you going down that road again. Then there was Eddie Munson, who hated you and made that feeling known, he was the bane of your existence and yet you were so tired of the animosity between you both.
Most of all you were sick of Jason and his stupid superiority, boy did he never let you forget that you didn't belong with the cheer squad. He all but cornered you after lunch to rant at you for laughing at one of Eddie's stupid jokes at Jason's expense.
It was a reflex. That's all and it was funny to see Jason brought down a peg or two.
"Don't think I forget where you came from freak, you can easily go back to obscurity playing Dungeons and Dwarves with Munson and his band of geeks" Jason snaps and you meet his gaze with unwavering intensity.
"Dragons", He looks confused and you smirk ''Its Dungeons and Dragons, dumbass" you tack on dumbass at the end just to piss him off even more, how dare he threaten you? Who did he think he was?
Sometimes you wished you could just go back and be a part of Hellfire Club again, a club that so easily accepted and looked after their own. Cheerleading was similar to that but the people in your friends circle sure liked to ruin any sense of security you felt. Mostly Jason and some of his Neanderthal friends.
Jason snorts and then he slams the locker beside you hard and it rattles you but you don't show it, when that doesn't work Jason knocks the books out of your hands and they go flying and he stomps on them before he leaves.
His laughter echoes down the hallway and you shout after him that he's an asshole, gather the books as best as you can and freeze as your well-loved copy of The Hobbit which already isn't in the best state falls apart completely.
Tears pool in your eyes and you hastily wipe them away, it's just a book, it's just a book you chant in your head but it doesn't work. It's been your constant companion since you were nine and it breaks your heart to see it tattered and broken.
Ringed hands help gather the rest of your work and you whimper. Shit, not him. Not now. Hastily you wipe your tears away and stand up, meet Eddie's gaze as he holds your books for you.
He looks begrudging in helping you but slowly his features soften at your tears, he looks at the tattered book in your hand, at the faint smudge of a shoe print.
"Who...Carver did this?" he growls and you nod still seething but the anger is ebbing away to sadness.
"I've had that book since I was nine and I know I can buy a new one but it's not the same, I hate him and I hate his stupid bullshit king title. He's an asshole and his group of Neanderthal friends and he can't even get the name of D&D right and I miss...'' you swallow and Eddie's anger melts away, his gaze intent on you.
"What do you miss?" he asks softly and you figure you've already spilled out some secrets so why not indulge one more.
"I miss Hellfire and I miss y...everyone" you hurriedly say and hope Eddie didn't notice the slip ''but everyone hates me now"
Eddie gently hands you back your books and you thank him. He's silent for a moment then speaks up.
"Everyone misses you too" he is about to walk away when you stop him. Your heart is racing but you have to be sure.
"Everyone?" you confirm and he knows what you're asking, if everyone includes him. He nods and reaffirms what he said.
"Everyone sweetheart and one more thing... no one hates you" he walks away at that point, runs to catch up with one of the freshmen in Hellfire and steals his hat. A laugh bursts out from you as you watch Dustin? as he chases Eddie around the hallway.
Yeah, you do miss Hellfire...and Eddie.
♥️
When you get to your locker on Monday morning there's something jammed in your locker so that it isn't fully closed. When you open the locker, a book falls out and you recognise the cover immediately.
A new copy of The Hobbit. You pick the book up and hug it to your chest, eyes sparkling with tears. You know exactly who left it in your locker but the little note of crumpled-up paper falls out.
It's clearly ripped from a Dungeon Masters notebook. All that's on it is a small message in a messy scrawl but it makes your heart skip several beats anyway.
Since Carver ruined the first copy, I thought you might want another.
E M 🖤
💞💞💞💞💞💌
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seeingivy · 8 months ago
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3:45 am
ryomen sukuna x f!reader
an: I can't find the request, but someone asked for a sukuna version of the 3:45 am chapter of roommate eren! here it is <3
“why do you have such a shit face?” 
you look up from your computer to find sukuna lingering by the door – fidgeting with the buttons of his collar and the end of his tie – as he spares you an irritated glance. it’s one that you return right back, before hunching back over the table and focusing back in on the lab report you were writing. 
“i’m talking to you.” 
sukuna shuffles over to your side, before crouching down till your faces are side by side, the breaths coming out of his nose tickling the bare skin on your shoulder. 
“i have such a shit face because i looked at you.” you mumble. 
sukuna sucks in a breath, almost like he’s trying hard to conceal his laughter, before he pulls closer, leaning his chin on your collarbone. the proximity makes it hard to ignore the sweet smell of his shampoo, which only gets worse when it’s accompanied by the sharp scent of his cologne. 
“is that any way…to repay my kindness?” sukuna questions. 
you roll your eyes, lightly jolting your shoulder up to get him to stop leaning on you. and he takes the hint just as much, as he draws up the chair at your side and pulls closer to see the molecules that you’re constructing on your computer. 
“you know, when you said you were going to do this favor for me, i wasn’t exactly expecting that you were going to hold it over my head this way.” 
ryomen sukuna was just an acquaintance – who happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time – and then he wasn’t. 
it’s because he has a moral compass. or because really, he feels guilty for not telling you earlier – especially when he’s seen other friends of his in the same position as you. so when he found you down on your luck – getting cheated on by your boyfriend, who you lived with, by your best friend of all people – he offered you the extra room that he had in his apartment. 
i’m lots of things, but i’m not a sadist. that’s what he said when you snuck out in the middle of the night, all of your things packed into a box that you subsequently emptied out into the free room that he offered. he had hell to pay from your ex-boyfriend the next day, the two of them jostling it out on the basketball court, before they both got reprimanded by the coach and decided to keep their distance 
sukuna isn’t a bad roommate. he isn’t exactly a good roommate per say either. because the sweet kindness that he offered you wore off around the second day and you realized that really – he was one of the most irritating people that’s every walked the surface of this earth. 
he brought over girls – tons of them. and when you asked him to keep it down, just so you could get some assignments done or study for an exam, he’d make it a point to bring multiple girls over – just to see the irritated expression on your face. 
he’d make up for it of course. because what he lacked in face-forward politeness, he made up for with his quiet gestures. like making you breakfast the morning of said exam – set with a matcha latte that he learned how to make special for you, because you don’t like the taste of coffee. or whenever he found you crying, he’d always let you rant it out – but not without giving you a few insults about how you had no standards here and there. 
“i think it’s dumb as fuck that you aren’t going tonight.” sukuna says. 
you slam the enter key on your computer. 
“your opinion has been noted.” you respond. 
“then come.” he grates. 
athletes at the university get to attend a formal at the end of each semester. it’s a nice dinner, accompanied with a horrible DJ, and a weird mix of sentimental speeches.
really, it was actually your idea of fun. only because it always felt nice to go to events like this. it was one of the few excuses you had to use the pretty dresses that you had in your closet, actually blow out your hair to make it look nice, and use the pretty glitters that your sister had given you for your birthday last year. 
and even more than that, it always felt nice to be shown off. because you’d meet tons of people who had heard all about you – the coach, the athletic trainers – who’d all give you sweet comments about how you were far too good for your boyfriend, who would then make some silly comment about how he never knew how he got you to talk to him in the first place. 
sukuna offered to accompany you. and also promised that he’d sneak some kind of contraband in so that the two of you could actually have fun – but it was something you denied. you denied most of the offers that he made that were similar to this, even though he was quite persistent, only because you knew that it wasn’t the right time. 
for better lack of words, you felt like a kicked dog. and you needed time to recover – before you could see your old best friends, or your ex-boyfriend, or really anyone outside the three circle rotation of people that you were able to tolerate. 
“i won’t have fun. and i don’t want to be a downer on the one night that’s supposed to be for you.” you respond. 
“well, you’re always a downer. so it won’t exactly make a difference.” sukuna responds. 
“thanks. that really makes me feel better, sukuna.” 
“i live to serve.” he responds, before bracing his hands against the table and pushing off. 
he spares you one last glance before stopping at the mirror near door, toussling with his hair and the piercings hanging from his ears. it’s a passing thought that you immediately banish – that panging in your chest at the thought of sukuna enjoying the night with a lanky girl on his arm. 
“you know, if you stare for any longer, you’re going to fall in.” you respond. 
“hilarious.” he deadpans. 
“who are you going with? i’ll have to make a phone call and let her know that she’s just going to have to find her own ride.” 
“no one.” 
you feign shock, pressing one of your hands to your chest – and really, trying to hide the secret delight that you’re reveling in. 
“wow. did hell freeze over?” 
“just didn’t feel like it. this type of shit is always kind of boring.” sukuna responds. 
you shrug. 
“i don’t know. i always thought it was kind of fun.” 
sukuna turns around, sparing you one last glance. 
“you know, i do recall that you would stand in the corner and talk to the moms all night. that sounds like my personal nightmare.” 
you smile. 
“well, that’s just because the moms don’t really like you. i however get along with them quite well.” 
sukuna rolls his eyes. 
“i’m sure that’s true. i’ll see you, okay? don’t sleep too late.” 
you give him a sly look. 
“worried about me?” 
“no, you just look ugly with eye bags.” 
--
you do not take sukuna’s advice. instead, you finish up your lab report and open a bottle of pink wine – to accompany you in your endeavors to watch ten things i hate about you. 
and it goes considerably well – until you hear a slamming pounding on your door at 3:45 am. you reach for the closest jacket, one of sukuna’s hoodies, before pulling it over your shorts and peeking out of the peephole. 
you swing the door open. 
“right. hi.” 
you pause. 
“megumi, right?” 
“yeah. just bringing sukuna back. he’s plastered.” 
you look down to where he’s gesturing to find sukuna slumped against the wall, offering you a half hearted smile from his bloodied nose. 
“right. well, thanks for bringing him back. what happened to his face?” 
“same as last time.” 
you roll your eyes, as megumi drags sukuna up by the arms. he stumbles in the air, leaning his weight against you, as you shoot megumi one last smile before slamming the door shut. 
the sweet smell of his shampoo and cologne is gone all together – now replaced with the mix of metallic blood, sweat, and the faintest smell of beer. 
“sit down, sukuna. i’m going to clean you up.” you mumble, trying to stabilize him in the air to stand by himself. 
“y/n?” he asks, before stumbling in the air. 
you reach forward, trying to brace his fall as he looks down at you – suddenly somewhat awake as his face breaks out into a small smile. he reaches forward, bringing one of his bloodied knuckles to cup the side of your face. 
“y/n.” he whispers. 
you swallow the block in your throat in your stomach. 
“don’t try to sweet talk me. i’m mad at you.” you respond, dragging him towards the center before leaning him against the kitchen counter. 
you reach down to the bottom of the sink, setting a glass of water aside and pulling out the little box of first aid that you had put together once you got here and put it at his side. you open up the neatly organized compartments, pulling out the gauze and the alcohol wipes, before turning back to him. 
“don’t be mad, princess.” he mumbles. 
you feel your cheeks burn. 
“don’t call me that.” 
“isn’t that what you are? my little brat?” 
you scoff. 
“are you trying to insult me?” you ask, reaching for his left hand first and swiping the area clean. 
“you have no…no idea what i think about you.” 
you reach for the wrappings, tucking them in against the callousness of his hands, as he looks down, locking his fingers in with yours. and then he leans forward, snaking one of his hands around your neck. 
you quickly shuffle yourself out of his embrace, before lightly pushing him back. he seems to take the cue, before you lean forward again, slightly hesitant this time, as you wipe the area around his nose. 
“why’d you fight with him this time?” 
sukuna scrunches his face up – irritated at the mention of the past few hours. 
“nothing he didn’t fucking deserve.” 
“right. last time, he missed a three pointer and you socked him in the face. so let me guess, he was two hours late today and you just got carried away?” 
sukuna scoffs. 
“he was running his mouth.” 
your curiosity has piqued. 
“about?” 
“you.” sukuna slurs. 
you smile. 
“so glad to see you had sound judgment tonight, sukuna.” you respond, voice dripping with sarcasm. 
sukuna leans forward, his lips a little too dangerously close as he rests his hands at the sides of your waist. 
“he brought that stupid bitch with him.” 
“sukuna.” you warn. 
“he brought. that stupid bitch with him. and he had the nerve to stand there and talk shit about you.” sukuna responds. 
you reach for the glass and place it in his hands, offering him a smile. 
“just drink the water to sober up a little bit. it’s late.” 
sukuna gives you a glare, as you let go of the glass, only for him to spill the entirety of it on you with his shaky hands. he barely registers that he did it – and you suppose that it’s really your fault for trusting him to hold the glass on his own – as you swing your arm around his torso and lead him towards his room. 
he flops onto the bed as you rummage through his drawers, pulling out a pair of pants and shirt for him as you turn back around. 
“sukuna. get up and change and you can sleep all you want.” you coax. 
he responds with an unintelligible noise – further muffled by the fact that he’s face down on the bed – as you reach for one of his arms and pull. he somewhat works with you, sitting up as he wobbles, and reaches for the tie around his neck and tosses it aside. 
his first struggle comes with the buttons. because he can’t seem to coordinate his fingers well enough to push the buttons through the holes – and obviously, with the short temper he has, gives up in all but three seconds. 
“help.” 
you roll your eyes as he stands up, leaning against you as you reach forward, and slowly unbutton down the length of the shirt. 
“you drive me crazy, you know that?” sukuna whispers. 
you ignore the comment as you pull the shirt down the length of his arms – exposing the tattoos that you’ve always wondered about, that peek out of the sleeves of his shirt or neck. you hand him the shirt, which he tosses aside. 
“too hot.” 
“okay, well. just put the pants on and then i’ll leave. i’ll turn around.” you respond. 
you turn around, twisting the rings on your fingers as you wait for him to finish, only to me met what could possibly be your worst nightmare. 
“y/n. wait, fuck. you have to help.” he whines. 
you turn around to look at him, only to find that he’s still wearing his pants. 
“what?” 
“the button. i can’t…” 
you feel your throat dry. 
“sukuna. i can’t…take your pants off for you. just try harder.” 
“just fucking help me.” 
you shake off the nervousness, as you bend down on your knees, trying to squint through the dark light to find the button. except before you can fully do it, sukuna reaches for your biceps and somewhat harshly pulls you up. 
“wh-” 
you look up to find him swallowing hard, before he talks. 
“it’s like you’re trying to make this difficult for me. don’t get on your fucking knees to do it.” sukuna responds. 
“how else am i supposed to see it?” 
sukuna doesn’t respond, as you shake your head and feel down the length of his pants, before you find the button. and surely enough, it’s hard to push but you get it after a second try, and turn around as sukuna switches the pants he’s wearing. 
and you almost make your sweet escape before he tangles his fingers around your wrist and pulls back. his fingers are fast on your waist as he turns you around, somewhat toppling your balance so you’re leaning against his chest – and stuck in his embrace. 
“stay.” he whispers.  
“you are so fucking drunk, sukuna.” 
“stay, please. i don’t want to sleep without you.” 
you shake your head. 
“my hoodie is wet. i have to change.” 
sukuna shakes his head. 
“are you wearing anything underneath? you know i wouldn’t mind either way.” sukuna whispers. 
“a tank top, but really. i have to go back to –” 
sukuna’s fingers are fast – since he apparently has enough coordination to help you with this – as he pulls it over your head, before setting his hands back around your waist. the way he’s looking down at you, eyes wide, makes you shiver as he leans forward, and presses his fingers against your collarbone. 
“you have a tattoo.” sukuna whispers. 
you laugh. 
“so do you.” 
and it makes your skin shiver, when sukuna snakes his hands underneath your shirt, leaning forward to press his lips against the inked skin on your shoulder, unable to contain your surprise. the tufts of his hair tickle your neck as you lean back, placing your hands on the sides of his face. 
“you’re drunk.” 
sukuna pauses. 
“is that the only reason you’re saying no?” 
you shake your head. 
“go to bed. you don’t even know what you’re fuckking saying right now.” 
“just stay with me.” 
sukuna releases his grasp, instead reaching for both of your hands and squeezing at your fingers. 
“please. don’t leave me alone.” 
“okay, okay. let’s just go sleep. we’ll talk in the morning.” 
--
you wake up to the most haunting sight known to man – sukuna hovering over you. 
“jesus fuck.” 
sukuna laughs as you press your palms into the sockets of your eyes, pushing as hard as can as you very quickly remember the events of last night – of the shivering feeling of sukuna’s lips on your neck and the horribly embarrassing moan you let out when he did. 
“oh god.” 
you open your eyes to find sukuna still hovering – an almost too excited grin painted on his face – his silver necklace hanging in the air.
“give me permission this time.” sukuna states. 
you widen your eyes. 
“i beg your pardon?” 
sukuna snakes one of his fingers under your waist, using the other to trace the outline of your tattoo again, as he leans closer to you, the distance dangerously close considering the events of last night. 
“give me permission.” sukuna asks. 
“you…” 
sukuna rolls his eyes, before leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. 
“if it wasn’t clear, i think about you very often. irritatingly enough, i’m actually very fond of you. so much so, that i turned down that fucking barista from the coffee shop last night and went to that fucking party by myself..” 
“marie?” 
“is that her name?” sukuna asks. 
you bite down on your cheek. 
“i also gave someone a beating for you and got suspended from playing for two weeks, so just give me fucking permission now.” 
“you got what?” 
sukuna leans down, resting his chin against your bicep, as he eyes you again, before pressing a kiss to the skin. 
“give me permission.” 
“you’ve already kissed me twice.” 
sukuna shakes his head. 
“cmon. i need to hear it.” 
you shake your head, suddenly hyper aware of the fact that your heart is pounding in your chest as you look down at him, brown eyes peering into yours 
“um. okay? ….yes. or yeah, whatever, i –” 
all you hear is an excited chuckle before his lips are against yours, hands almost rough around your neck as he pulls you up, till your straddling him in his lap, hands secured around his neck. and you can tell that he’s enjoying himself far too much – from the way he smiles into the kiss, before pressing three, four, and five kisses to your cheek. 
you fight the urge to smile at him fully as you lean forward, cupping his face in your hands and eyeing the cut across the bridge of his nose. 
“have i repaid your kindness yet?” you murmur. 
sukuna pauses, before leaning in. 
“no, i think i need a little bit more.”
--
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bunnliix · 7 months ago
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When Eight Becomes Nine - Chapter One
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I finally have a first chapter out! Finally!! It's a bit shorter than I wanted it to be, but like it's here after so long, so I'm happy with it! Plus we get some angry boys in this fic
Pairing: Ateez x 9th member!reader Summary: Ateez wc: 1.4k AU: a/b/o Genre: Fluff/Angst warnings: Angry Joongie/ateez, yelling, mentions of anxiety and fear, angst with some fluff, honestly just the boys are pissed off but mostly it's Hongjoong being royally pissed, I think taht's everything? masterlist
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“What do you mean we need another member?!” Hongjoong asked the KQ management team members in front of him.
“We’ve decided that you need something new to add to the group, and that a new member will be the best choice to attract more attention to Ateez.” One of the higher up staff members replied.
“We’ve been fine for five years, why do we need another member?” The captain asked through gritted teeth.
“Look, the decision has been made, there’s nothing more to say. You and the rest of the members will have to prepare to have a new member.” They said, a tone of finality marking the end of the conversation.
“So we’re supposed to just accept whoever the fuck you find into the group, and potentially our pack, without any say?!” Hongjoong exclaimed, fed up with the group of people in front of him at the moment. They really thought they could just spring this news on him and he’d be fine with it?
“It’s in the best interests for Ateez.” Was all that was said, as if it was a sufficient explanation in any way for the upheaval of the status quo for Ateez.
Hongjoong pushed his chair back, standing up and leaving the room quickly, trying to keep his temper under control. Who did they think they were? Ateez had done so much for this company and now they’re haphazardly adding a new member into his group. This changed everything. They’d had to readjust the choreography, the lines for every song, any of the concepts they’ve come up with now have to be adjusted. He stormed into the practice room where the rest of the pack was practicing, and a couple of them flinched at the anger emanating from their captain and pack alpha.
“Hongjoong, are you okay? What did they want to tell you?” Seonghwa asked cautiously, not wanting to anger the man further.
“They want to add a new member to our group. A new member after all this time!” Hongjoong ranted, revealing the news to the rest of the group.
The rest of the group had various reactions of shock, and more than a few were angry at this news being sprung on them. Wooyoung felt the brunt of everyone else’s reactions and curled into himself, while Seonghwa moved to try and calm down Hongjoong, knowing that it wouldn’t be productive to talk while he’s that upset. The eldest member, who also was the head omega, wrapped his arms around the smaller man, pushing out a soothing and calming scent to try and get the captain of their group to calm down. It worked thankfully, and Hongjoong rested his head on the other man’s chest.
“Thank you Hwa.” He softly said to the other man, once he had gathered his emotions and had calmed down significantly. He was still upset, but not as much as he was minutes ago.
“Always.” Seonghwa replied, smiling at the alpha. He brought the pack alpha closer to the rest of the guys, and they all sat down on the floor before starting to talk about what this change means for all of them.
“Did they say how they’re choosing a new member? I assume it’d be another trainee from the company?” Wooyoung queried, his eyes full of curiosity.
“They didn’t get that far before I left.” Hongjoong admitted.
“You could’ve waited around until they told you at least!” Wooyoung whined.
“Wooyoung, quiet down. This is not news any of us were expecting, and even if it was, the expectation is that we would have been included in the conversation. So I don’t blame Joong for storming out. KQ took the choice of having a new member away from us, which isn’t fair on any of us, let alone Hongjoong.” Seonghwa scolded the younger man, who looked properly chided by the end of it.
At that exact moment, Hongjoong’s phone started ringing once again, making the idol frown before answering it.
“Yes?”
The rest of the group watched as Hongjoong listened to whoever was on the other line, not sure what the call was about. Though it wasn’t long before they found out as Hongjoong sighed as he ended the call.
“So, what’s going on now?” San asked their leader.
“They want all of us upstairs for a meeting, right now.” Hongjoong stated.
They all knew this was about the new member, and they all got up from the various places in the room, heading towards the door with the two eldest leading the group. They walked up to the designated meeting room, trudging in to find most of the same group that had been in the earlier meeting with Hongjoong. 
The eight men sat down in the chairs set out for them, and as soon as they’re sitting, one of the management team starts talking, as another hands each of them a pile of thin folders.
“Here are the shortlisted candidates for the ninth member of Ateez. We’ve already held auditions, and these are the smaller number of candidates that we think are suitable for the role of your newest member.” He explained to the group.
“What do you mean you’ve held auditions? Without informing at the very least, Mingi and I?” Hongjoong questioned the man, a frown evident on his face.
“You weren’t needed. You had other pressing matters, so we took the liberty of holding auditions. It doesn’t matter now, you have the information on all 20 shortlisted candidates. We’re bringing them all here to do a final audition, as well as to make sure they fit within Ateez.” The man continued, ignoring any reaction from the two producing members.
Before the captain could retort, Seonghwa’s hand touched his arm, and the pack alpha looked over at his omega, who reminded him non-verbally that he needed to calm down. Getting mad at the company right now wouldn’t be productive. But that didn’t stop others from protesting the company’s decisions.
“Wait! So you’ve gone through this whole process and never thought to even consult us or tell us what you were planning until now, when we’re almost to the point of you choosing a new member?” Wooyoung shouted, staring down the opposite side of the table.
“As I just said, you were all busy and weren’t needed until this point in the process.” The man repeated himself, seeming very tired with having to reiterate his words.
Grumbles and mumbles about the way that KQ management has conducted things so far were heard from Ateez’s side of the table. Their manager picked up where the other man stopped, hoping to calm the boys down, they didn’t need angry alphas, nor a pissed off Ateez pack, it wouldn’t end well for anyone.
“We’ve brought you in now, because this is now more of your decision than it is ours, but we will still have input on the decision. The 20 candidates chosen are arriving tomorrow, and don’t worry, they’ve all been thoroughly checked to ensure they’re not sasaengs.” The manager assured them.
“We’ll look past the issue that you didn’t think to talk to us until now. But why wait to tell us they’re arriving till today and that they will be here tomorrow. There were plenty of opportunities before today, that you could have pulled one of us aside and said something, if not pulled us all into a meeting.” Hongjoong lectured the staff members, thoroughly upset with them and their actions.
“Regardless, this was the major thing we wanted to discuss. Though once the prospective members arrive tomorrow morning, in the afternoon they’ll be here for their final auditions, and to see how well they fit in with you. So you will be required to be here at the company at noon tomorrow.” The first man informed them.
There were huffs from the members who were quick to anger, and especially from the alphas in the pack, and the others had displeased looks on their faces.
“Well, thank you for at least informing us today, instead of springing it on us tomorrow.” Seonghwa cut in, before Hongjoong could say anything. The omega had also grabbed Joongs wrist, trying to calm the anger he could feel coming off of the alpha in waves.
Sadly for Seonghwa, his efforts were for naught.
“I will remember this, and you better hope that there’s someone in your shortlist that I and the rest of the pack can get along with. Or no one will be happy.” Hongjoong said as he pushed his chair back and stood up, prompting the rest of the pack to do the same. With the pack alpha leading the group, they all walked out, leaving the management team behind.
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king-spite · 4 months ago
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update on this!!! it went well lmao :]
so after lots of thinking i decided i'm gonna come out as trans this college year (to classmates, teachers, etc) and when i tell you i'm TERRIFIED🧍
#the first day was awful i felt like i was gonna throw up all through the day lol#but everyone has been so supportive and nice and i really really wasn't expecting that!!! i could cry!! :(((#most ppl didn't ask if i'd change my pronouns as well but i guess they figured#cause my new name is not ''feminine''#i also was a little scared at how quickly these kinda things spread around. bc people i've barely talked to already called me#by my new name and all lol#but since everyone has been really chill about it that hasn't been a problem. thank god#also all of my lecturers were so chill as well?? one of them reassured me and like kinda smiled when i told her and another one (my favorite#lecturer in college was like ''OMG i like your new name a lot! so cool'' :(((( she was so nice i WILL cry)#(my favorite lecturer for a Reason!!☝️)#and my closest college friends have also been like practicing and calling me by my new name instead of my nickname :]#(cause my nickname has stayed the same. my new name is ''masculine'' but phonetically it sounds a lot like my deadname.#cause i wanted to be able to derive the same nickname from it. cause idk i love that nickname And it's gender-neutral sorta And it's what my#friends and family have always called me. so i didn't want to change it. so i didn't!)#and idk i'm so thankful to everyone who's like making an effort and like sorta practicing my new name lol#Plus. one thing about coming out that i was really surprised by is that (and this is gonna sound silly). Adults CAN be allies??#i don't even mean queer adults. but cishet adults. can be allies to queer teens. wdym not every 50 year old thinks like my parents#like i already knew that in theory but seeing it Actually be like that irl was kinda life-changing#idk it's been an experience#to think that a few years ago i couldn't admit that i was trans out loud let alone imagine myself doing what i've done this year#choosing a new name and coming out and everything. not to get sentimental (yes to get sentimental) but i'm kind of very proud of myself :]#anyway#little rant#📎
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dokries · 6 months ago
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that’s rough, buddy
pairing: kim mingyu x gender neutral reader
genre: fluff, (a bit of) angst, established relationship
word count: 1.6k
warnings: miscommunication (everything turns out well!), mingyu’s just a little forgetful, seungkwan best friend, a forehead kiss
author note: this was requested by a lovely anon <3 again, i’m so sorry it took me so long to get to it 😭 i hope you enjoy reading, and lots of love (as usual) 🫶
masterlist
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mingyu thinks you hate him, and it’s not just because you haven’t visited his apartment for more than eight days—though that’s concerning as well; you’re usually over within a couple of days, even if you’re busy, which he definitely knows you aren’t, considering how much you’ve been going out with friends, namely seungkwan and chan.
he purses his lips, looking up at the ceiling from his comfortable spot on the couch…alone, just like the last two weeks. his phone dings and he opens it immediately, a frown appearing on his face when it turns out to just be seungcheol asking if something’s up between the two of you—of course he knows; seungkwan never even looked in mingyu’s direction the last time all thirteen hung out together.
mingyu sighs, responding back with a “ask seungkwan not me” before opening up to the last time you had texted him. he had said he was busy back when you had asked if he wanted to go to a photography exhibition, and you haven't responded to his hurried apology.
maybe it’s time to say something…? he pauses before sighing again, going back to staring at the ceiling, hoping the little stipples above him will make a decision so he doesn’t have to.
of course, the only reason you’re avoiding him is because you think he hates you—which may be a huge overstatement but what else would you call it? it’s one thing to not have time for dates because that, at least, you could understand. maybe it’s just that you’ve passed your puppy love phase, and that’s alright; you’re both very busy people but…why is he ignoring you? that’s not the mingyu you know, and it’s been almost a year since you started dating.
the most annoying thing is that he probably doesn’t even realize your anniversary is coming up in the next few days—though you’ve stopped caring (the dried tear stains on seungkwan’s couch pillow say otherwise).
so when he texts you while you’re at chan’s apartment, you frown in surprise, catching the attention of seungkwan, who’s beside you.
my gyu 🥰 ❙
hey it’s been a while since you came over… movie night at 6?
you move to pull up your keyboard but seungkwan stops you by quickly pressing the power button before you can even start typing a reply.
seungkwan glares at you when you start to protest, and takes your phone into his hands to prevent anything happening, as if he’s your parental figure. “don’t you even dare say yes.”
“maybe…” chan sighs and rubs his eyes with his palms, catching your attention—and seungkwan’s too, as he raises an eyebrow at his best friend, telling him to continue. “maybe we should give him a chance?”
seungkwan immediately scoffs and jumps into a rant about why you should do the exact opposite of what chan’s suggesting. “chan, have you not been paying attention these past few weeks? that man has left our dear baby—” seungkwan moves to shush you when you say you’re not a baby, continuing once you press your lips into a straight line. “he literally left them hanging multiple times, and all he had to say was ‘sorry i can’t make it sweetie.’”
chan frowns, tilting his head. “isn’t that what you’re supposed to say to your partner if you can’t make it?”
seungkwan pauses, sighing. “well…yes but come on, he could at least offer to make it up to them if he’s done this like ten times! also, he definitely forgot about their anniversary, which is so much more horrible.”
as seungkwan takes a deep breath to calm himself, you correct him quietly. “it’s been three times.”
“what?” seungkwan looks at you exasperatedly, and chan giggles from his seat on the chair in front of the two of you.
“i said he’s only done it three times. besides, he’s been busy…it makes sense for him to forget.” you hold out a hand to stop seungkwan before he launches into another spiel on how mingyu sucks as a boyfriend so you can keep going. “listen, kwan, i think spending some time with him would be right…but i’m not ready for that yet.”
seungkwan bites his lip before nodding, his expression softening. “okay. as long as you’re happy, okay?”
you hum in agreement as chan stands up, clapping his hands excitedly, and you exchange a look with seungkwan.
chan grins, pulling out an uno deck from a drawer in the table beside him. “how about we play uno to distract ourselves?” he nods towards you before smirking at his other friend. “i’m sure they’d love to see me beat you.”
seungkwan raises an eyebrow before scoffing again, raising his shoulders in a shrug. “well, lee jung chan, you should know you’re totally gonna lose.”
chan scoffs, and as your best friends start bickering like normal, you smile, knowing they’re amping up the dramatics to take your mind off…whatever you and mingyu are right now. well, you could think about your boyfriend after beating both chan and seungkwan in uno.
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mingyu’s been sulky all day, and wonwoo not asking him why isn’t helping the sinking pout on his face.
he stares unrelentingly at his best friend as wonwoo faces the self-help bookshelf in front of them, searching for the book he’s been looking for since they entered the small shop.
“why are you like this?” wonwoo eventually breaks under mingyu’s pitiful gaze and huffs out a breath, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose before turning to his friend. “what’s wrong?”
mingyu sighs like he’s been doing for the past few days, and wonwoo puts the book in his hand back on the shelf, expecting his friend to not get to the point quickly (he’s right).
mingyu says your name quietly as a response, and wonwoo raises an eyebrow. “what is that supposed to mean?”
“it means that they hate me! i don’t know what i did either…i mean look, it was pretty busy at work so i couldn’t go on dates with them when they asked but that’s okay right?” mingyu frowns and bites his lip when he realizes he’s a bit too loud for the bookstore.
nodding, wonwoo processes the information he’s just been given before he puts a sympathetic hand on his best friend’s shoulder. “good luck with that.”
mingyu scoffs, about to scold the man in front of him before his gaze drifts off to the bookshelf in the far corner, where the two of you had been searching for cooking books around the time you had first started dating, which was probably around…a year–oh.
oh, he’s so dumb, isn’t he?
“hm?” wonwoo says when his friend pauses, looking up from the book he just picked up as mingyu groans and puts his head into his hands, moving to rest against a nearby bookshelf.
wonwoo looks over to the cooking section and turns back to mingyu. “hey, isn’t it–wait…you forgot the anniversary, didn’t you?”
mingyu groans again in agreement, and gets a head pat paired with a “that’s rough, buddy” from his friend before he’s left alone, coincidentally, in the relationship advice section.
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seungkwan sighs as he comes back from checking through the peephole of your apartment door, gesturing towards it as he plops down onto the couch. “it’s for you.”
you raise an eyebrow, getting up to open the door—seungkwan already checked anyway, so there’s no need to look through the peephole again–and come face to face with mingyu, the man you’ve been avoiding. “oh.”
the paper around the bouquet of white orchids in his hands crinkles as he shifts his weight, a nervous smile on his face as he calls your name hesitantly. “hey.”
you nod in greeting before looking back to seungkwan, who’s glaring at mingyu with his arms crossed, and paying attention to the man in front of you as he clears his throat.
“i, uh…here.” mingyu pushes the flowers towards you, and lets out a breath of relief when you take it gently from him. “i’m sorry.”
you stare at him. “for what? forgetting our anniversary? for not apologizing for so long?” you sigh when he remains silent, looking back at the clock in your living room. “there’s only a few hours left of our one year anniversary anyway…it’s fine.”
mingyu shakes his head, coming closer to grab your arm gently with a serious expression. “no, it’s definitely not fine. i hurt you, and that’s not okay.” he pauses, frowning. “besides…i miss my partner–i miss you.”
you sigh, looking into mingyu’s eyes, and you know he’s genuinely sorry. you break your arm free from his grip, causing his face to drop.
you place the bouquet of orchids on the side table, and call out to seungkwan. “hey, kwan? do you mind finding a vase for these?”
“i have to make the most out of these last two hours of my anniversary with my boyfriend after all.” mingyu’s face lights up as you take his hand, still looking back at seungkwan’s soft smile, which matches your own.
you give mingyu a pointed look as you close the door behind you, trusting seungkwan to keep your small apartment safe. “but first, we really do have to talk about…whatever the last month was, okay?”
mingyu nods eagerly before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead as the two of you grin. “i missed you so much, baby.”
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alyszuha · 5 months ago
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what the bsd charcters would get at the gas station (as a gas station employee)
a/n: i wrote this while bored at work a few months ago in my notes app, and thought it would be funny to share. nikolai's is def my favorite. enjoy.
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dazai - just black coffee like a few times a day. he would talk to the clerks and is friendly to the point where he gets free coffees. flirts with the young women working but we cant tell if he is actually or not because he’s just hard to read. i can’t tell if he smokes or not but if he did he would get marlboro black 100’s.
atsushi - white cherry gatorade and some chips. very average customer. might eventually become friendly with the workers but hes a bit shy, and is surprised when the workers ask him how he’s doing.
kyoka - snack cakes. doesnt talk at all other than saying thank you. sometimes comes in with atsushi.
kunikida - coffee as well. very respectful and if he likes it will become a regular and add it to his schedule. everyone likes him. will occasionally rant about a coworker that annoys the fuck out of him (hm i wonder who).
ranpo - a fuck ton of candy and soda. like takes several trips back and fourth with handfuls of random ass snacks. he’s annoying as fuck about it too.
akutagawa - water. probably goes to the self checkout too, just does not wanna talk to anyone.
chuuya - premium gas and occasionally cigarettes. he’d get some odd type too like winstons or very specific marlboros. he doesn’t talk much unless the worker talks to him. but me and my younger female coworkers would definitely gush over him when he first starts coming.
hirotsu - he would get some old people shit like tourneys or parliaments and say “in a box”. but is patient when the workers take a second to look for them because literally no one gets them.
oda - marlboro black 100’s (which would have inspired dazai's choice). doesn’t talk much.
ango - water and a small snack like a doughnut or peanuts.
tachihara - mountain dew voltage. very chill and talks to the workers. if he finds anyone attractive would lowkey flirt.
tecchou - he would find some type of snack that no one knew we even had. like the byson meat sticks that are definitely expired.
teruko - look i love her but i KNOW this bitch door dashes shit, and it drives us nuts because its always when we’re busy.
fukuchi - he gets beer and would pay with like a 50 dollar bill. my friend i work with would make an inside joke about him being our sugar daddy.
nikolai - (this is something an actual person has done) walks in , says hi and takes an entire fucking tray of lighters before walking out.
fyodor - calls the store and scams the worker for hundreds of dollars.
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edit: should i tell more stories about working at a gas station? because i have a lot. i also wish i could have put in the time i was serenaded by a customer when i was by myself. but idk who would do that. maybe dazai??
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strawberrychampayne · 4 months ago
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you can't be this oblivious
bradley bradshaw x fem!reader
warnings: none except like one swear word lol.
word count: 1026
summary: oblivious!bradley x affectionate!reader!! reader is super affectionate to everyone but it is different with bradley. She’s sweet to everyone but she isn’t sitting at a table for 30 mins and letting just anyone rant about their day, unless they are rooster.
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Y/N Y/L/N, aka Magnet was just that. A Magnet. 
“And then they had me doing pushups because I made a snarky comment according to them.”
Bradley Bradshaw better known as Rooster was someone you would consider a best friend. Though Phoenix would argue he’d be more than that if he wasn’t so oblivious. 
“I mean what did you expect Roo? I would’ve had you doing the same thing.” she giggled into her glass. 
They had been at the Hard Deck for around two hours now, coming right after they got off. It felt like a ritual at this point. Work, Hard Deck, go home and then repeat. There were a million other things they could all do and yet they always came here. Maybe it was the atmosphere that cheered them up after a long day. Or the beer.
What she hadn’t expected was sitting at a table for the last 30 minutes with Rooster ranting about the trouble he’d gotten in earlier, she didn’t mind that though. She could listen to him talk forever. There were very few times that Rooster felt comfortable enough to share things so anytime he did, she took it seriously. 
“You wouldn’t even think to punish me Mag, we both know that.” Rooster replied with a smirk playing on his lips. 
She often thought of what it would be like to kiss him. Would his lips be soft and plushy or more rough like he pretended to be. She liked to believe it would be the first option. She’d never get to really know though as it seemed he never reciprocated the feelings she was putting out. 
“You don’t know what I would do, Rooster. I could make you do 20 pushups right now.” she said
“And I would do them.” he said, a twinkle in his eye or maybe it was the lighting. 
She gasped quietly hoping he didn’t hear. Flirty Rooster only came out after a couple of drinks. She had heard the phrase that drunk words are sober thoughts. Never really believing it though, he never had so much to drink he couldn’t remember saying something so eye raising to his supposed best friend. 
“The worst thing about all this extra work is I feel like I have no time to eat something good. It’s always some fries from here and a couple beers” he continued, brushing past his previous statement. 
Coming back to her senses she spoke quickly, “We could go out together. I mean all I do is drink a couple of beers here.”
She felt him tense up. Preparing for the worst she thought of a way to recover.
“You are truly my best friend. I mean nobody else would’ve offered to do something like that.” Rooster spoke up before she could backtrack. 
Her heart cracked slightly. Best Friend. Who knew two words could hurt so much. Glancing to her right she could see Hangman and Phoenix cringing at the sight. Warmth flooded her body as she began to stand up. 
“Hey where are you going?” he questioned following her up. 
“Yeah um, my head is starting to hurt so I think I’m just going to head home. I’ll see you tomorrow Bradley.” she said as she turned to walk away.
Bradley? She only called him by his first name when she was upset or poking fun at him. 
“Well at least let me take you home? I mean I brought you here.” he rushed out.
“No. It’s fine I’ll call an uber.” she pushed past a few people and walked out the door. 
Shoulders slumping Rooster glanced out the window at the woman. Phone in hand she was true to her word in calling an uber. He felt a pang in his heart watching her. Had he done something wrong? 
A hand clapped against his shoulder. He could smell the cologne and know who it was before even turning his head. 
“Well that was a shit show. I mean come on, Rooster, you can’t be this oblivious.” Hangman said with a cocky smile. 
Shrugging his hand off Rooster turned his head; the muscles in his jaw contracting, “What do you mean, Hangman? Oblivious to what?”
Hangman laughed at him, “You’re meaning to tell me that you haven’t realized that Magnet has been flirting with you ever since she met you? I mean she practically asked you on a date a few minutes ago.” 
Was that a ringing in his ears? Y/N flirting with him? Bradley felt like his head was going to combust where he stood. 
“And there's the look of realization. You really must’ve been oblivious.” Hangman added. 
“I think you’ve gotten this all mixed up. I mean Y/N is close and affectionate with everyone. She leans her head on your shoulder, gossips with Phoenix, and is constantly fixing Bob's glasses. And with me she just leans up against me, compliments me and listens to me rant and she-” Rooster took a pause. “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. I mean Rooster, Y/N is an affectionate person for sure. But she has never once listened to one of my rants and she’s the only one who'll listen to yours.” Hangman said, an almost serious look on his face. 
“I just watched my future wife walk out that door after asking me on a date.” Bradley said.
“Well hold on nobody said she was-” Hangman started before Rooster talked over him.
“No Hangman, trust me I know. That is going to be my wife. As long as I haven’t ruined everything.” Rooster said, confidence in his voice. 
“Well then I guess you should go get your wife to be.” Hangman said, a small smile on his lips. 
“Yeah I’ve got to go.” Rooster took off out of the bar and to his car. 
“I cannot believe it took him that long to realize that.” Phoenix said, walking up besides Hangman. 
“He’s a little oblivious but we got there. Hope he has a gorgeous ring to propose with. Claims that’s his wife to be” Hangman replied. 
“I don’t doubt that.” Phoenix remarked quietly, watching Rooster peel out of the parking lot.
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let me know if anyone wants a part 2!
part 2:
!!!please don't repost my work anywhere, translate, or bind my works anywhere without permission!!!
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scribblesofagoonerr · 7 months ago
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— Just know you're stronger than you think
⟫ Alphabet Challenge, J - Just know you're stronger than you think
Pairings: leah williamson x teen reader
There's a been a lot of tears writing this one, but it comes from the heart.
Shoutout to @alotofpockets for being one my biggest supports when writing and dealing with my rants and emotions, massively appreciate the virtual shoulder to lean on! 💗
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"Why is it that the people we care about so much are also the ones' that hurt us the most?"
That particular question has been on your mind ever since it happened, two whole days ago.
"Did something happen?" The therapist, sitting opposite you questions, her voice full of concern.
Fumbling with the strings of your Leahs' hoodie that you are wearing, you slowly nod and look at the older woman, "My mum showed up, completely unannounced."
The memories of the past few days begin to replay in your head as you remember the conversation very clearly.
"Hi sweetheart," You're shocked to open the front door and come face to face with your mother, who you haven't even heard of in a few months, following the last conversation that you had with her.
Yet here she stood, smiling like there was nothing the matter. Had she forgotten what happened?
"Mom? Wha... What are you doing here?" You're confused to say the least and you couldn't understand why she was here, at your front door, after all of this time.
"I wanted to come and see you," The woman replied, still continuing to smile condescendingly at you.
Your eyes furrowed in confusion, "And you didn't think to let me know first?" You questioned her.
"I didn't think I would need to," Your mother was quick to respond, "And besides, I tried to call, but you've been avoiding me, haven't you?" She asked, knowingly.
"I've had stuff going on," You admitted to her quietly, shrugging your shoulders.
The older woman hummed in response, "I know, you were in the hospital, and guess where I had to find that out? The news, social media-- You didn't think to call your own mother?!" She barked at you, like it was her right to know about what's been going in your life.
She didn't deserve that right, not when shes' not bothered with you for as long as you can remember.
"I guess... I guess I forgot," You mumbled, feeling ten times smaller like your mother always has a way of making you feel like that.
It  was like a flip switched right there and then, your mother's smile changed to a scowl right in front of you.
"After everything I have done for you, and you just throw it back in my face, Y/N!" The women shouted angrily, her emotions completely changing in a blink.
The therapist sat opposite you, listening to you completely as you tell her about the conversation and relayed it back to her, "Okay, and how did that make you feel? How did you handle it?" She asks.
"The same way that I always did," You murmur, still fumbling with the hoodie strings, "I blew up."
"Mum, I haven't been well-- I tried to kill myself. I wanted to die, I... I tried to end my life because I didn't want to be here anymore!" You completely poured your emotional vulnerability out to the woman, hoping that she'd comfort you, something in which you deeply craved.
The woman literally scoffed and shook her head, "And you don't think that's incredibly selfish to do? What about me-- Wha... You can't leave me, Y/N!" She exclaimed in disbelief.
Your initial confusion turned to anger very quickly, how could she make it all about herself, even now?
"Mum, I'm the one that's been suffering and in pain, this whole damn time!" You didn't mean to yell at her, but something inside you snapped.
"You don't think I have? Y/N, I've been in pain for a lot longer than you have-- You don't know the half of it!" Your mother shouted right back at you, completely forgetting the fact you were both outside in broad daylight where anyone could hear the shouting back and forth.
The very sentence made you realise how inconsiderably selfish she has always been, and she will still continue to be.
"Why has it always got to be about you? I can't even talk to you because you're so wrapped up in yourself-- See this, this is the reason I didn't tell you because yet again, you just once again go and make it about yourself!" You were seething with anger, you didn't care at this point which neighbour did hear you, "I needed you, mum, I really... I really needed you and you weren't there." Your voice was vulnerable and raw, showing the true hurt you felt right there.
"Because you didn't tell me that you needed me, Y/N," Your mother threw it back in your face, having the audacity to even tut at you, "How could I when you don't keep in touch anymore?" She asked.
You really did need your mum, but once again, she was nowhere to be seen when you did.
"She doesn't get it, she never has. Shes' always been this selfish and I've never realised..." You speak directly to your therapist, once again showing your vulnerability as the tears continue to spill down your cheeks.
Your therapist nods and continues to listen, shifting the paper in her hands completely aside, "Did you tell her how you felt?" She wonders.
"I did," You nod in response, "It was hard, but... I did it."
"I deserve to know if theres' something wrong with you, Y/N,'' Your mother stated, like it was her god-given right to know.
Was it really?
"I'm telling you now, aren't I, mum?" You responded, quietly.
Your mother exhaled a sigh and shook her head, "Were you alone in the hospital?" She questioned.
"No, I had Leah--" You were cut off before you could finish that sentence.
Your mother had the audacity to scoff, "Leah is not your mother, Y/N. I am!" She stated, firmly.
"Yeah, well shes' been there a lot more than you have in the last few years!" You confessed your inner thoughts, you were damn right about that statement.
Leahs' been there a lot more than your mum ever has been.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Your mother questioned in disbelief.
"It means... It means I'm done, mum. I'm done with always having to be second best-- I'm done with you and your selfishness! I'm just... I'm done now!" You told her, not having the energy to keep up this argument with her as you deflated your shoulders.
Your mother had the nerve to look at you hurt and it made you feel instant guilt about what you said, "All that I have done for you, and this is how I am treated? By my own daughter!" She said quietly, barely louder than a whisper.
"Mum, I'm sorry... But I can't, I can't do this anymore," Your telling her nothing but the truth, your tired of the bickering, your so tired of it and its' draining you both mentally and physically, "I love you because your my mum, but I'm done, I can't... I think its' best that you go."
"I'm the one whos' always been there, Y/N. I am the one... I am the one whos' been there when that deadbeat of a father walked out on us. He walked and I stayed, I didn't have too. I could have given you up but I stayed and this is what I get?" Your mothers' words hurt, they're gaslighting and manipulative, but you know this is exactly what she is like.
You have to try and remain strong in this decision.
"I think you should go now, mum. I... I don't want you here anymore," You told her, quietly as you avoided looking at her, "Please, just go."
"Y/N, you can't just push me away. I don't deserve to be treated like this," The women continued to gaslight you, showing the toxic traits of her personality.
Shaking your head, you remained firm on your decision, "It's always the same thing with you, mum. Just... Just fuckin' go!" You exclaimed, trying to keep your tears at bay until she left.
You watched as your mothers' face turned to look like complete thunder, "Don't you swear  at me, young lady!" She shouted, enraged.
This time, you couldn't help but scoff, "Please, you can't tell me what to do. Just leave and never come back!" You demanded.
"Y/N," Your mother pleaded, but you didn't want to hear it.
Your therapist leant forward to pass you the box of tissues and looked at you in great sympathy, "And then what happened?" She asks.
"Leah showed up," You tell her, giving her a brief smile while trying to harshly wipe the tears away.
"I think you should do what she says. She's asked you to leave and you're not welcome here," Leah appeared behind your mother, coming back from a quick trip to the shops to pick up some much needed essentials and was shocked to see the women on her doorstep after all this time.
"You!" Your Mother turned round to see the voice behind her as she glared, "You've poisined my own daughter against me!"
"Me?" Leah scoffed in response before she shook her head, "That wasn't me, I think you'll find that was all done by you. So you can see Y/N is upset, so please Y/M/N, just go because like I said before, you're not welcome here." Her words were firm and it made you smile slightly with the way that the blonde fought in your corner.
"So, she left?" Your therapist questions, curiously.
You nod in agreement and use your sleeves to wipe your face, "She left, I felt... I guess I felt relieved, free almost? I... I just wish that things could be different, you know?" You tell her, confused about the feelings you have.
Your therapist smiled at you sympathetically, "You don't deserve to be treated like this, Y/N. Even if its' your own mother and you did the right thing here-- Remember we talked about healthy boundaries? Those apply to family members as well." She tells you.
"I know, it just hurts," You murmur, feeling complete exhaustion after spilling everything out in the open.
"It will for a bit, but then it'll heal. This is about you, Y/N," Your therapist continues to speak open and honestly to you, "It will take time to heal, but you're strong enough to do it, and you're not alone either." She states, kindly.
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"Rough session?" Leah questions in concern as she glances at you beside where she sits in the driver's seat.
You must be somewhat predictable, or she can tell from the red puffy eyes and tear stain cheeks.
It may just be the latter one.
"Yeah," You murmur in response, you barely have the effort to even want to vocually communicate right now.
Leah continues to look at you in further concern, "Do you want to talk about it?" She offers.
"No, I don't... I don't want to talk about it," Your quick enough to disagree with that.
That was a complete lie, you did want to talk about it. Even if you won't admit it though.
"Okay, that's fine. You know where I am though if you need me, bubs." Leah sends you a gentle smile and squeezes your knee to let you know she's here for you.
"Thanks," You lean your head on the window, watching the passing traffic as you head back home to the flat you shared with the blonde.
The rest of the ride home was quiet, you felt so in your head right now.
Therapy was meant to help, right? Why did it feel like the complete opposite, right now.
"I'm gonna make tea, what do you--" Leahs' words are cut short with the sound of your bedroom door slamming shut behind you, "I'll be out here if you need me at all." She calls out, hoping that you can hear her.
You do hear her, but you just don't have the energy to verbally respond right now.
You used it all in therapy, pouring your emotions out and showing your vulnerability, and that's something which rarely ever happens.
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You keep yourself shut away in your bedroom for the rest of the day.
Leah of course has tried to prise you out of your room, but you are very much reluctant to leave your confined space.
You don't want to talk anymore today, you'd already done enough of that with the therapist.
So instead you bury yourself in a blanket, shamelessly clutching hold of the little stuffed green dinosaur that you won at a fair when you were eight, while you just sob endlessly into your pillow.
"Why is it that the people we care about so much are also the ones' that hurt us the most?" The question still plays on your head in a loop, because even now, you still don't understand the answer to it.
What shocks you the most is the fact that your mum hasn't bothered even once to contact you.
That shit hurts, to realise that shes' not bothered about any of it.
Not a single thing.
Somehow during the time you've spent in your room, you end up crying most of the time. Unfortunately, the habits' become more familiar over the last few months than you realise, all because of that woman.
There's a knock at your door, followed by the blondes' voice, "Bubs?"
"G' way," You mumble from underneath the covers, trying to block out the rest of the world.
Hearing the door creep open, you know that Leah isn't going to do that, "I heard you crying. I'm not going to leave you when you're this upset." She states, firmly.
"I don't want... I don't want to talk," You stutter your words, trying to control your sobs no matter how difficult that is.
"That's okay, we don't have to talk about things," Leah moves further into the room as her heart breaks at the sight of you curled up into a ball in the middle of your bed, clutching a hold of the pillow with tear stained cheeks, "Oh, bubs. C'mere, my girl."
That sight was enough for Leah to swiftly move to lie behind you in your bed, gently scoop you up and pull you closer to her, to be able to allow you the comfort even if you didn't want it.
The blonde knew different, she knew not to believe you when you said you didn't want to talk, she allows you the space but shes' not going to allow you to be completely torn up about this.
"Le," Your voice trembles, you don't have the words to say right now, but your grateful for the blonde being there.
Leah quietly shushes you and wraps her free arm around you, "I know, I know it hurts. You don't have to say anything, but know I'm here for you, regardless."
"Why... I don't get why, why does it hurt this much?" You're completely heartbroken, you thought pushing your mother away would help with things, but it makes it all that worse.
"I wish I could tell you the answer there, bubs," Leah murmurs and rocks you back and forth slightly in her arms, "Sometimes' it hurts to do it, but it's' for the best, you know?"
"S... She hasn't even phoned me. She doesn't care about me," You cry openly, showing the raw vulnerability you felt about this situation.
You feel like you've been abandoned, somewhat.
Parents aren't meant to do that, but yet its' easy for enough for it to happen.
And now you're the one in the wrong? It doesn't make sense.
"It hurts now, but things will get better," Leah tells you honestly, running her slender fingers through the strands of your own hair, "And I promise to never leave you alone, ever, okay? You've always got me!" She promises.
"You... You've always been more like a mum to me, more than my mother ever has," You admit to her through small sobs, shuffling around to be face to face with her as you move to rest your head on her chest, "Thank you for never giving up on me or leaving."
Leahs' heart cracks just that little bit more as she smiles sympathetically, "Your my kid, regardless of blood or not, and I love you so so much," She speaks from the heart, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head, "The day I met you, it felt like one of the best days of my life and I feel so grateful to be a part of your life, kid."
"I'm grateful you're a part of my life too, Le," You murmur quietly, your voice is hoarse from how much you've been crying but you really do mean what you say, "I wish you were my mum instead, you wouldn't abandon me like she did." You admit, your voice is still no louder than a whisper so you're not sure if shes' even heard it.
"I'd love to be your mum as well bubs, you deserve so much better," Leahs' response is nothing but the honest truth.
Your eyes start to flutter shut, "I really wish it could happen." 
Somehow you feel closer to falling asleep, you don't know what it is but you feel that with the presence of Leah there with you, it's a lot easier to fall asleep.
"I'll make it happen," Leah whispers, still running her slender fingers through your hair gently, "Get some sleep, yeah? It's been a long day."
There wasn't any response from you as you'd somehow managed to fall asleep in that short space of time.
"Bubs," Leah peers her head over slightly to see you fast asleep and she can't help but chuckle fondly, "I mean it when I say it and I'll keep that promise, kid. You're never going to be alone again." She states, firmly.
The blondes' heart aches so much for all the crap that you have had to put up with through the years and now she'll do anything to make it better.
"Sleep well, bubs. I love you," Leah whispers, pressing a gentle kiss on the top of your forehead as she pulls you closer towards her, allowing you to sleep practically on top of her, allowing her to lie there and think through things with the determination of a way for you to finally be happy.
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