#I could hear my heartbeat)
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did a little sketch yesterday that i really liked and tried to get it done today just so i got literally anything to post- but i fell into the trap of 'making sketches to elaborate and thus really stiff and non fun' (for me), ... soooooo .. im redoing the whole thing
but the idea was a mummy ganondorf for my (yes still existing) totk rewrite; i wanted to make him more scary looking and also emphasize just how horrid it must be to be kept in between life and death by having your heart grabbed by a cold and vengeful magical hand for thousands of years (in this case the ancient queen .. which i also tried to sketch despite not showing up aside from her dissolving hand)
the spell starting to fail and his body being more damaged in some parts (jaw being only the bones left for example) and his chest open from being slowly eaten up by the queens magic, the ribs contorting around it like its a gravitational pull- sounds cooler than it looks bc this sketch did not work out, so im saving the details for the .. hopefully, better version
#ganondoodles#art#tloz#ganondorf#posting it mainly ... to have something to post#and bc i think i remember someone telling me they like that i soemtimes post 'failed' sketches or paintings that i wont go back to#anyway ... this is one of them ...... felt rly pressured bc the weekends already over again and i dont want to work ......#was probably doomed from the start- detailed sketches rarely work out ofr me lol#anyway- also havent decided yet if i want him to have a heart still ... or if it too was dissolved by her magic#and you can still hear his heartbeat even though there is nothing in his chest#or maybe only like ... a spirit .. non physical heart ....#or its 'just' made of malice#.... or he doesnt have it at the very start and then at the mid fight he rebuild it somewhat#and for the end you find him in a tangled mess of pulsing roots like those that were in canon totk (but didnt mean shit i guess)#bc hes literally taking the life of the land to be as strong as he could possibly be#but like ... cool#i also have plans for a “demon” version and the good old boar#three phases and none is a cinematic thing#he will be a dark souls boss and you are way too low level ... i can do whatever i want in this rewrite you cant stop me!!#'kids have to play this gam-' no they dont this is in my head forever!!! no one is playing it but me!!
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February 29- March 2 2024
The first time Sonic went Super in Road Trip wasn't exactly as stunning to Tails as other au's and stories.
Tails is like maybe 5 here (I'm not actually that organized on the timeline for this au yet, I'm getting there though, things are getting in order.) and he wasn't forced to grow up and be a hero in this au. So he's a bit more childish than canon Tails because he doesn't feel as pressured to mature and grow up fast. Plus, he genuinely thinks Sonic is going to die and this is the last time he see's him, so tears are bound to come down.
Part 1
#roadtrip!sonic au#sonic the hedgehog#super sonic#dadnic#miles tails prower#tails the fox#sonic fanart#wholesome sonic and tails wednesday#Okay- I'm gonna ramble a little bit about the dialogue and behaviors here you can skip the other tags if you're not interested#First- Sonic immediately tells Tails that he's fine first before asking if Tails is okay. This isn't Sonic putting himself first-#-but him trying to comfort Tails because even if it's cheesy- Tails will only feel okay if Sonic is okay.#Apparently it calms children down if they listen to their parents heartbeat (melts my heart when I remember that) so Sonic put-#-Tails close to him not only so he could hear that Sonic is alive- but also to try calming him down a little more.#Small thing I started incorporating way too late- Sonic will call Tails Big Guy if the kit is smaller than him and-#-Little Guy if the kit is larger than him.#Sonic changed his pattern color to be blue like Tails' eyes after he points out that they are both yellow (it's not colored here-#- but you probably remember that Super Sonic has golden fur.)#Sonic is constantly rubbing a thumb on Tails' hand as a comforting gesture.#That's my ramble- I know it's just pretty bare bone stuff that anyone reading might get but I freaking love explaining stuff (I gotta stop)
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Prometheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to man. For this he was chained to a rock and tortured for eternity. Oppenheimer (2023) dir. Christopher Nolan
#oppenheimer#filmedit#cillian murphy#oppenheimeredit#henricavyll#usersilk#useranimusvox#jokerous#dailyflicks#barbenheimer#nikolatexla#this masterpiece was way beyond me. way beyond anyone else#think of a movie that everything about it is perfect#the soundtrack. the actors. the script. the atmosphere.#i don't remember if i ever watched a scene before where my heartbeat was that fast#there were more than 100 people inside and no one made the slightest sound and it was like i could hear every heartbeat#this was my first nolan movie. i couldn't go tenet (which was amazing too) but i'm glad i didn't bc this was the best one#mind you the only thing i understood at first sight was a scene about black holes in which i was genuinely interested before#you know the movie becomes way more fun when you actually understand it - not as a whole but also the details
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I'm still thinking about that scene
#lupin iii#lupin the 3rd#lupin the third#daisuke jigen#jigen daisuke#lupin zero#jiglup#sketch#sry for the low quality#I remember trying to finish studying for a test the next day#and finally I was in the bed at 1:00 am and I rly wanted to watch the ep even though I was tired#and oh boy I could hear my own heartbeat watching that scene like *screaming and sobbing on volume 0 for 10 minutes*#it was impossible to fall asleep after that TMS how dare you#jiglup is real in lupin zero aaaa
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For anyone else who is gonna struggle surviving the next 3 weeks with the angsty and tense situation of Callowmoore here's a few things from the last 2 episodes that I feel were underrated and will assist in trying to keep me sane/emotionally stable: - Matching messed up hands built for holding - Fearne nervously playing with her hair as she approaches Ashton - Ashton wanted Fearne to be either the last thing they saw if they died or the first thing they saw when they succeeded - Fearne's admittance corroborates Ashley's 4SD revelation that Fearne is in love with someone in the party but doesn't know how to process the emotions - Fearne wanted Ashton to be happy, while Ashton wanted to feel whole so they would be worthy of the Hells - Ashton twice tried to lead a search for Fearne, and instantly clocking onto Chetney saying he followed Fearne - Fearne making herself look as radiant as possible before giving Ashton the cold shoulder - Ashton only rose to Chetney's provocations until he said 'You hurt Fearne' Use how you will
#godspeed my poor damaged psyche#critical role#bells hells#callowmoore#ashton greymoore#fearne calloway#fearne x ashton#ashton x fearne#strangely enough I don't enjoy having a dark and sad pit sitting in my chest day to day#3 weeks and we don't even get a cute M9 reunion in between to distract us? this was worse than Callowmoore's sistergate 3 week wait#also 'a little'? Sweetie people don't jump into lava for a little you got the big L and it's not Lesbian(s)#Feel like Laudna was a bit cruel this ep (Ash has been there for her a ton and she kinda villainized him) but we'll put it down to Delilah#much of Ashton's trauma has been overlooked or left to them to internalize but still nobody has told them that they are loved#and Ashton Greymoore needs to be told they're loved! (by Fearne)#but yeah time for more positive mental scenarios that 99% won't happen (but when that 1% does ho boy)#couldn't have just had Fearne go 'no talking' and sleep on Ash's chest to hear their heartbeat as her touch soothes Ash's pain could we?#or final fight scenarios where Ludinus is a walking harness and Ashton tricks them into absorbing their titan powers so he'd explode#they could've even had a talk in the woods because they wanted to find her so bad but was not gonna test Imogen's patience#I for one though will have at least one where Ashton seeks out Mori for advice (Fearne too but separately)#Tal I need you to use all your romantic arsenal in the feywild (Percy's worst travel experience) to win back Ashley's beautiful faun girl#bonus prompts for 'You will always be perfect to me' and 'Promise you'll come back to me' they pop up often in my scenarios#taliesin jaffe#ashley johnson
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“She had no magic to wield, save for the keen eyes of the goddess at her shoulder and an uncanny ability to remain unnoticed, to play into expectations.”
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Lorcan Salvaterre#Elide Lochan#Elorcan#no spoilers please first read to read along with me#more notes quotes annotations & reacts in the tags spoilers for the chapter & book in post & tags of course pt 2 of 4 perspectives#Lorcan had never felt the weight of the hours so heavily upon him-I FEEL IT 2poor Rowan must feel this 247HURRY where’s Elide?hold on Aelin!#And to send Elide into Maeve's clutches--it had taken all of his will to let her walk away.😭#If Elide was captured if she was found out he wouldn't hear of it know of it. — you’d know cause she’s your mate idiot (I love you idiot#without proving their worth they could still visit--briefly. — ugh Maeve why does everything about you suck so much#If she emerged. — COME ON ELIDE — I CANT HANDLE ANOTHER CAIRN-NAPPING#the Prince of the North and the Lion the protector and the ever impatient in love idiot we all love Lorcan#He knew some of them. Had commanded them. Were they now his enemy? — they are all having some inner morality battles#What manner of birds? Raptors mostly — none from the House of Whitethorn — they fought for him on the other borders… for her🥹😭them#why so many guards if no Aelin hmm???? SHES HERE GUYS#though Gavriel kept glancing to the tattoos inked on his hands. How many more lives would he need to add before they were through?#Aelin had been trained to endure torture. Elide... He could see those scars on her from the shackles. — how about we save them both?😭🖤#She had endured too much suffering and terror already. He couldn't allow her to face another heartbeat of it--#Rowan and his random hatchet now😅😂 it’s giving my wife is gone unhinged in the woods with the bros might become a horror movie vibes#But then a two-note whistle echoed and Lorcan's legs wobbled so violently he sat back onto the rock where he'd been perched-OH MY ELORCAN😭🖤#also Lorcan… perched??? isn’t that bird boy Rowan’s thing?😅😂🤣#her cheeks rosy in the cool night air. — cheeks pink in the twinkling lights tell me bout the first time you saw me (shipping in insanity)#She was fine. She was unhurt. There was no enemy on her tail. Elide's eyes met his. Wary and uncertain. I met someone.#THANK GOD — but also wait WHAT-when?WHO?HOW?#also this quote posted is like one of the reasons I love Elide#another grand Maasverse enterance is on its way?#the fact the opening line shows that being sold out to Maeve is the same as death — OH GET TO AELIN ALREADY PLEASE#no more tattoos guys — what’s with Maeve’s wolves — isn’t dark haired beauty what Elide called the girl in the caravan so maybe it’s her
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SO!! Y'all wanna see the GIFT i got my Wally?? I got him something SO SPECIAL!! Um um!! Voice reveal because it was so hard to capture the SOUND this was the best take i did for a friend!!
Yes YES!! I gave him .. A HEARTBEAT! A HEART!! Oh it PULSES, so i can FEEL him!! The surgery went so well and it was very easy and fast! (Putting his shirt back on was the hardest part) The Beating Heart comes from Build-A-Bear!! (For anyone else who wants to give Wally the gift of a Pulse!)
I think Wally loves his gift!!! Well his Heart is all a flutter anyways! Um and HEY while i'm here!! Thanks for 2000 Followers!! Wow! i'm flattered! Gushing even! It feels like not long ago, i was flustered over 1000!! I'm such a small time artist! and i've always done what i love! I know it is not a massive number, but it is to me!! Always feel free to drop me an Ask! a Request! Especially if it involves playing Dress-Up with Wally!! (or another neighbor!!... hey i need to get used to drawing the others tooo)
#oooh oooh i better post this while i'm still feeling bold!!#surprise!! its me!!!#its Jazz!! the 33 yr old store manager who is obsessed with Wally Darling!!#oh tags!#wally darling#plush#would this be considered an edit?? what do i even tag this as??#i stuck a heart into him!#a collab???#anywaysssss#um yeah so my voice!!#i dont mind yall hearing me!!#im a bit low and country!!#its very strange to hear myself tho!!#im a bit strange tho!!#i wanted to give him a voice box too#but i could not find one and also hes a bit small for both!!#i could put one in his head....#i may still do that if i get my hands on a recorder#ooh the heartbeat!!#its SO !!!!#the audio still doesnt do it justice#even tho i turned that part up!#its a soft sound but the fact that you can FEEL IT#i was just going to record a heart beat but they just HAD them!!#i guess there is a demand!!!#i was very careful!!! during the process!!#but i have sewing experience so i was pretty confident in it!!#i was thinking of editing out my voice but it was gonna be so jaring#i tried so many times to get the beat alone but awaaaaa recording with my old ass phone
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had a dream where ao oni chased me through my parents' small apartment and eventually decided id rather die to falling than eaten alive by an oni and jumped off the balcony but ended up grabbing the balcony railing of the apartment one floor down and was quite pleased about not having to die. then the people one floor down saw me scared and were making fun of me for not concealed carrying to shoot intruders and i said listen if you want to go upstairs and meet my intruder you are more than welcome to. but they ignored me and started kissing -_-
#sacsen#it was sooooo scaryyyyy why was ao oni in my (parents') house!!!!!!#i was hiding in the closets and stuff but it could smell me or hear my heartbeat or smth idk....#ao oni apex predator ESPECIALLY in small spaces. if that happened in the ao oni mansion id win.
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My review of Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White copied and pasted from Goodreads
I have never written a review before but I need to. This book, I have no words is just beautiful in its own fucked up way.
I am a trans 15 year old boy with autism and full of rage who hasn’t gotten a chance to express himself. I grew up in the church and when Covid hit I figured out myself. Im an atheist and unapologetically gay. But the guilt still weighs down on my shoulders like God is watching me disappointed in me. This book made me feel seen. Made me feel heard, I no longer feel alone in my anger or sadness that bares over me.
I see why this book isnt for everyone and anyone who decides they want this book read the trigger warnings, this book is gory and not for the faint of heart. But if you decide to read it I hope you experienced it the way I did. I couldnt put it down and finished it in one day. The characters felt real. And every time something happened I had to put the book down for a moment and pace and stim because I was so full of excitement thinking about what was going to happen.
TLDR: Be gay, make lizards, read the TW’S, and Andrew Joseph White is an amazing author who deserves more recognition than the world could give him
#hell followed with us#andrew joseph white#the spirit bares its teeth#your books make me sob#in a good way#fuck#i just finished it#and fuck me dude#/pos#i wish I could erase my memory of this book so I could read it for the first time#spoiler:#stop reading the tags to not be spoiled#when Benji got want to New Nazareth I could hear my heartbeat in my ears I was so scared#my face was literally tingling#which only happens when I am SUPER scared which almost never happens#i am still coming down from the high of finishing this book and now Im exhausted
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I genuinely hate when I get exhausted and shaky like this. I can rarely pin down an exact trigger for it, besides occasionally heat, and it fuckin scares me
#ever since i passed out at the ren faire im terrified of passing out alone#or even near people i don't know#the fuckin. the family right next to me as i passed out and convulsed. ignored me#my sister got paramedics and they just kept chatting#i kept passing in and out on consciousness and i could hear them ignoring me#that. that scares me#that i could get into a really bad way and no one would care to help#intrusive heartbeats#medical cw
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#🎁💗!#all your curves and all your edges#all your perfect imperfections#are precious and so lovely to me#you’re adorable my love#from your smooth and soft fair milky skin to your cute frown-ey lips#to your deep chocolate eyes that remind me of forest trees I could get lost in#or your long elegant pianist fingers and soft adorably pudgy tummy#and I find absolute comfort when I lay my head on your small chest and hear the rhythmic lull of your heartbeats bless my ears#you are home to me my love
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thinking about daredevil yellow again im not. going to make it Guys.
#static.soundz#crying screaming and hitting the ground. so good. it made me cry really bad#bc whenever i think about jack n matt it always makes me think of me n my dad for various reasons#when matt said i couldnt feel his heartbeat inside me anymore. no words.#i rambled about it on my main but dd is very much intwined in an interesting and special way with my own heavy grief about my dad#and matt was a very important character to me during that time of my life for the exact same reason.#it's why i take a lot of very heavy issue when things try to make it so his dad died in his childhood as opposed to college#bc a) think it takes away a lot of the important nature of their relationship and b) my own personal projection#bc all grief at any stage is highly personal and unique and particular#but it really does feel like. matt is really just starting to become an adult (depending whether he dies when matt's in under or post grad)#(bc i can never remember which) but he's not quite a mega established one. there's still that lingering of childhood#so even though he's grown. it just hurts in a very particular way. they saw you grow up. but they didnt really see you become an adult.#they did not see the person you're going to be. that you are. that you're becoming. it feels like such a bizarre unfair moment in time.#bc why now? why not when i was younger? why not when i was truly an adult adult who is expecting to lose you now?#why at this moment and no other time?#but thinking about matt going i wish i told my dad how much i loved him.#more than anything when he goes 'i love you dad. did you hear? i love you.'#it made me cry like a fucking bitch. honest to god tearing up when i type about it. it wrenches my heart it twists it and it makes me wanna#drop to my knees and just weep and weep and weep. they are everything to me.#i have intertwined a lot of matt's grief with mine in a way that makes him so so so important to me. because as stupid as it fucking sounds#that comic and him as a character are everything to me. so genuinely. they were a lifeline my freshman year#when i was so depressed all i could do was read comics. or listen to music#i could do nothing else. i did. clearly. i did work and assignments. but dd was everything to me alongside dm#im sorry i am being an actual like nutbag in my tags im sorry i just have a lot of feelings. this story is everything to me ever ok? ok.
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I have two questions:
1. Have you ever considered writing a book that you would want to get published?
2. I wonder if you will explore Matt’s blindness in TRT. Like for example at the end of the day Matt did lose his eyesight and maybe sometimes wished he could see Jane. It doesn’t have to be a big thing because Matt has accepted his disability but like a moment when he’s just really wants it. Idk I thought it would cool
1. I’ve thought about it, yes! And I’ve actually got an (unedited) trilogy of vaguely humorous, post-apocalyptic scifi adventure books that’s like... halfway written, and that I’d love to get published. I was actually in the process of working on Book 1 when Covid hit, and then my writer’s group kinda... collapsed, which is when I promptly discovered that as an extrovert, I desperately need interaction to make The Story go. No interaction, no drive (and that’s also why fic works fine). And sometimes I toy with the idea of starting up again, maybe with a new writer’s group. I’m also looking into taking a lot of the original elements of TRT and then self-publishing that (with some changes to get Disney off my back obvs), which would let me keep the fic up, too. Not sure! I definitely have plans to try to get a book published eventually though!
2. Sometimes I’ve thought about it! I may touch on it eventually, though very, very delicately. Like you said, it wouldn’t be big because I really do think Matt’s accepted he’s blind and he doesn’t see it as a bad thing, and it’s really not. I do admittedly think he probably still gets understandably frustrated at how blatantly inaccessible some things still are (ex: i literally walked by a coffee shop that had a printed piece of paper inside the window in small print that said ‘large print or braille menu accessible on request!’ and I was like... ok but a blind/visually impaired person can’t read that???). Cause that’s the truth of it - he is still blind. He’s got a disability that affects his day to day and even if he’s happy the way he is (or that’s how I read him), he still needs his aids. I’ve tried to make that clear in TRT - Jane’s taken up his labeling system with braille, she leaves things in *very* specific places because Matt’s got an organization system he needs, he uses his ear pieces and refreshable braille display. And yeah, as someone who’s disabled myself, I could see him now and then going... ‘I wish I could see just for a second’ when there’s no solution for something - when he’s touching old pictures of his dad, or now and then when he’s with Jane, in the same way I’m sometimes like, ‘I wish I could literally run somewhere without pain, just to feel the wind’. It’s a passing thought usually, but it’s probably there now and then for him. So the thought’s rattling around in my brain, definitely. If the right moment in fic comes I can see touching on it!
#ask response#the red thread#daredevil#on matt's blindness and disability#sure i'm disabled but mine's different than matt's so i try to be aware of that while navigating it in fic#we know based on ep 1 with his brief mention that there *are* things he'd love to see again - the sky in that case#and so i think jane would fall into that category#but we also know he doesn't see his blindness as something there to hinder him based on what he says to foggy when talking about stick#and in some ways he sees her more deeply than anyone else on this planet#he just sees her without vision#he hears her heartbeat and all the other little pieces of her no one else gets to hear#he gets to experience the comfort of her scent at a fundamental level#he gets to feel the way her temperature changes when she's excited or happy to see him or when she sees a kitten#and when he kisses her he can taste *so much* of who she is#he doesn't need sight to know her#and i honestly don't think he'd ever trade his senses for getting his vision back because he's happy the way he is#but there'd probably still be a moment now and then of 'it would be nice if i could see her just for a second'#as for getting published one day I can oooooooooonly hope!#i've got stuff written already that either needs to be finished or edited#but it's hard in original work cause I need that back and forth interaction with other people to get my inspo flowing#i'm definitely hoping to get published one day though and i'd love to make writing a profession#fingers crossed!
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Just back from Arctic Monkeys and....yeeeeah my prediction that seeing them so soon after Muse would put them at a disadvantage turned out to be correct 😂
I will say though that the songs from TBHC and The Car sounded soooo fucking good that I'm honestly offended there weren't more of them in the setlist. I need them to do a theatre tour one day where they play both albums in full...
#not even a slight against Arctic Monkeys btw - it's just that Muse are *so* fucking good live that everyone else looks worse in comparison#if I'd had time to forget that i might have enjoyed tonight more#but honestly the bits that weren't as good wasn't even their fault; we were just stuck in a section that had rubbish sound for the 1st half#I could barely hear Alex at all and the crowd was so packed in that I couldn't see anything either#as soon as we moved back the sound got soooo much better and we could actually appreciate the lovely staging#thankfully we were at the back for all The Car songs and they sounded fucking amazing#just wish we'd moved earlier as I barely got to enjoy Ritz and Fluorescent Adolescent#honestly it's been a busy weekend and I'm 90% sure I'm getting sick as a result so tiredness and burnout definitely impacted my enjoyment#hence why two massive gigs in one weekend are a bad idea 😅#honestly I don't think I'd see Arctic Monkeys again in that setting - I just wasn't feeling it tonight as much as i wanted to#but I'd see them again in a heartbeat in a smaller venue#anyway I'm off to bed 😂#also the setlist was a bit meh for me but they were forgiven for that as soon as Sculptures started#Arctic Monkeys
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#lol private rant time#i 100% get that doctors are in a position of power and cannot and should not ever bemoan or belittle patient experiences#but every time I hear 99% of doctors don’t care and like don’t do anything for patients it’s so disheartening#if I had a pill that I could give to every person with constant pain I would give it in a heartbeat#if I could spot diagnose people with conditions based off a symptom I would#if there was a textbook that gave every combination of symptoms to line up to a diagnosis that would be my bible#but chronic disease is fuckinf hard to identify#and fuckinf hard to be like oh yeah defs#and that’s not to say some people do not do their due diligence but#fuck if I don’t think about patients that have walked out right before we finally got a diagnosis for them#and patients that we don’t know what happened and I’m still like fuck I hope they’re okay#and patients where there’s something weird and you’ve run every test and wracked through textbooks trying to be like maybe this is the thing#and just#you just think of your patients all the time#anyway stupid rant to delete :)
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not to be sad on main but I miss my mom
#especially our phone calls#she always had some wry take on something that found a way to make me laugh#grief tag#may as well toss that in there#but yeah i just really wish i could talk with her right now#I'd feel a lot less crazy if i could just call her and joke about how weird my life is right now and beg for some advice#even if realistically I'd take about 23% of it and ignore the rest to her ire#I'd kill to hear her tell me that it'll be fine. just one more time wouldn’t be enough but I would still take that in a heartbeat#i just had my 25th birthday recently and it felt so empty to experience a milestone without her#i know it's not that big but it got me thinking about bigger milestones#and it all snowballed from there#my dad and i have also been having trouble since earlier this year for reasons relating to her passing which has thrown a wrench into things#i wish i could call my mom to ask her how she would really feel about it. or just bitch about the situation for a while.#as it is it feels like my only two options are to grin and bear it at a detriment to myself or to speak my mind and hurt the relationship#and while she may not have a simple answer ready for me she would still listen to me and emphasize with my point of view#while also pointing out when I've gone way off base and have misunderstood the situation#idk um. if you got this far thanks for reading my ramblings ig?#mumblings
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