#I could go normie route and just make them take the face of a human since that’s what Syn would be most comfortable with but also

[nightly-ruse]

Yknow I’ve cornered myself into the trap yet again of making a character that as best can be described as a kaleidoscope. Like they are everything all at the same time while still having visible reactions but how do I show that???? How do I make that work???

[arcadejohn127-9]

I read the Diavolos ball and angsty stuff, can I please please please get a happy ending to go with it?

This has been a highly requested and I must give my poor followers comfort after this straight up angst

So everyone, let's get into it! Some hurt and comfort to soothe your hearts

Warning: angst, long

I'll be putting this under readmore as it is long and I have had someone before say they wanted me to add it on long posts, I never really got any feedback about what I could do better and how this will help with people's viewing but I understand why, long posts can be annoying

If you guys think I should do this with all my long posts please comment or dm me or even state it in asks/requests - I wanna do what I can to make things enjoyable for people

Part 1 - beginning

Diavolo's ball aftermath

It's been a few days since they've seen you; they expected to find you in the dorm. Some fear you went back to the human world; there was no messages, no note - there was nothing. You were completely gone.

Everyone was losing it. The brothers got more aggressively with each other, no longer able to have you come between them. Your presence was so soothing to all of them but now you were gone. As soon as they realized you were gone the whole air of the dorm shifted. It wasn't right.

Mammon got desperate to know where you were. He handed one of his crows a necklace he got you, you promised to never take it off. His heart shattered when he saw it was on your desk. He wasn't sure what he did wrong - why did you take it off? What happened to you?

It wasn't long before the crow came back to the devildom; reporting that you were in fact in the human world. The brothers were devastated. They had to tell the others and they had to watch the hopeful shine in their eyes die.

They could all feel thankful you were unharmed but you were so far. You did this to get away from them. You didn't even leave a damn note!

Diavolo ordered everyone to go to the human world. They all split up into different parties to get you, whoever could get you first had to interrogate you. It didn't take a genius to understand that the Noble told you something horrible - why else would you have such a reaction? Barbatos was tasked to 'calmly discuss' that night with said noble but regardless of how rough and merciless he was; he refused to talk.

It was wasting time and energy. If he wasn't going to talk then they had to get the answer from you. A few were able to gather the gist of what he told you from your conversation before you disappeared; you were convinced you were being used and just a replacement, a pawn to them.

They wanted the full story. The whole reason. Anything! Just to understand why you would push them away and disappear like this. What have they done to make the nobles words feel so real to you? They needed to fix it.

The demon brother's split into a team of two; eldest and youngest, the royals stayed together and the elder exchange students were a double team aswell.

The crows lead the teams their way, splitting up to different routes to see if they could circle you so they could talk to you even if you decided to run.

In the end they found you, you were across the pavement, a train coming. The pedestrian stop dinged as it commanded people to stop but the men couldn't help themselves.

"(Y/N)!!!"

You whipped around, shocked. You thought your ears were playing tricks on you but there was the boys. Your boys. Tears bubbled in your eyes. You couldn't believe it. They followed you to the human world.

The world slowed down; the wind blowing against you as your eyes widened at the sight of them. They looked exhausted, some even with tear streaked cheeks. The more impulsive bunch being held back so they don't go running towards you. The street lights illuminated all of you; their appearance looked just as broken as their hearts.

The train rammed itself between you all. Disturbing the moment with its blaring horn, the screeching wheels ringing in your ears. It was the second you had to decide; do you run? Or do you stay?

To let them get you and finally face your emotions or run away, avoid everything and keep letting despair consume you.

You stayed. You couldn't move at all. It was if you were glued to the spot. But you knew it was just your heart aching for them; desperate to hold them and cry out your pain.

As soon as they could, they all rushed to your side. Hugging you, grabbing at your arms and head to pull you close to them. You choked on your tears as you let the 11 men hug you and check your face and clothes. All just wanting to make sure you were really there and unharmed.

You missed them all dearly and you were so happy they missed you too.

But then the big question was asked.

"what happened that night?"

"he said he was happy to meet me...asked for a dance and I said yes, I never should of, he kept telling me I was just Diavolo's pawn, Lilith's replacement and convinced me none of actually cared for me....I believed him.....I felt so unsure and he knew so much about us I just couldn't stop the doubts in my head....I'm so sorry-!"

Lucifer:

He couldn't believe that noble said that to you

He hastily grabbed your face, wiping away your tears

"You will never be and never have been her replacement, you are your own person, your connection to our sister means nothing other than comfort that she was able to be happy and that's it - I apologize if we have made you feel like you are a replacement and have compared you to her.... please understand we just miss her very dearly but we all want you in our life more than anything."

You buried your face into his shoulder

Sobbing your heart out as you kept chanting apologies and gratitude in a broken voice

He silenced you, holding you close

The prideful demon hid his face as best as he could and let tears drip down his cheeks

He was so relived to have you back

It seemed that noble wasn't only going to be visited by barbatos

Lucifer was not known for being merciful

Mammon:

He grabbed your arm and hastily tugged you towards him

His other hand cradled the back of your head

"Don't ever run away again, you understand?! I'm supposed to be the one protecting ya and how am I supposed to do that if you're off running in different realms without telling anyone??!! That noble doesn't know anything! I don't know how he knew about Lilith but you ain't her, you're (Y/N) And that's it! You are your own person - you gotta call out my dumbass-ary if I compare or make you feel that way, I would never do it on purpose! I like you and only you! I can't lose you again!"

He pushed his forhead against yours

A shaky exhale leaving him

You tried to apologize but he cut you right off, hugging you closer

He was going to make that Noble pay for ever making you doubt yourself like this

To doubt how much he loves you

Levithan:

He was already crying

He was crying before you even considered crying

He rushed to you and grabbed your hands

"I got so scared I did something, Don't listen to that normie! Normies are losers for a reason! There's no one else I would want as my best friend - no one will ever be a better game partner than you! You always make me feel happy and proud to be me-! I couldn't ask for anything more from you! I miss Lilith but I miss you even more! You're my favourite person, you're not some replacement, you're you! You're my player 2-! I'm sorry if I made you feel like you're not as amazing as you are, please don't leave again!"

It wasn't long after his speech he hugged you

Squeezing you tightly as he relished in having you back in real life 3D

since you were gone he kept playing as your game avatars

Using ai set ups to feel like he was with you again in VR

That noble will not stand a chance against his fury

Satan:

He wasn't sure if he was mad at you or himself

It was most likely both - mad you left and let someone just destory so much work and progression in one meeting

But mad at himself for not making you feel secure

He couldn't bring himself to hug you but that was because he was scared he wouldn't let go

"I knew that Noble was nothing but a menace-! You can't listen to people like him, he's just trying to get to you and tear us apart - I don't know why he would do that but he isn't right, he will never EVER be right! You are yourself and never will be Lilith, I didn't get to me her or really know who she was but I do know you will never be her and never were her! I care so much about you and I will make sure to keep my stupid brothers to never make you feel that way again, I've missed you so much (Y/N)."

In the end, he fell into your arms

Holding you tight as he let out his tears of frustration go

You apologized but he just told you to shut up, he didn't want you to be sorry for being the victim

He already had plans on what he's going to do to that noble, trying to push those thoughts away

Focusing on how wonderful it is to have you close

Asmodeus:

As soon as he could reach you, he pulled you into an embrace

Shaking his head as tears streamed down

His makeup already starting to to drip along work his tears

"No! No! No! Noooo!! Don't listen to that horrible noble! He isn't right at all, he doesn't know anything about us or you! He obviously doesn't know how much we care about you and like you as your own person, I never meant to make you feel as if you were some sort of replacement! Lilith was her own being and so are you, your connection means nothing! I i will always be happy knowing my sister got to live the life she wanted but you aren't apart of that, your life is your own and you are nothing like her! I love you because you're you! I couldn't imagine ever loving someone as much as I love you, please come back to the devildom!"

He nuzzled his cheek against yours

Thankful to have you back in his arms again

He didn't like getting his hands messy but no one was going to make you feel that way ever again

He didn't care about that demons status

Beezlebub:

His hand landed on the top of your head

You flinched not expecting such a gentle pat but it only broke his heart more

"That noble knows nothing about you or any of us, he's turned my sister into an enemy to our relationship and I will not let that go on for any longer! You are not her and not her replacement, how dare he make you feel that way! you're apart of my family and I'll have it no other way, I really love you and missed you everyday you were gone - I was scared I'd never feel full again, you make me feel complete and when you disappeared I knew I wouldn't be able to protect you, I would of never forgiven myself if you got hurt! I want to always be able to protect you and have you by my side and make you feel happy - I promise I won't fail you again."

He almost fell to his knees once he was done

He was ready to swear to you on one knee, like a true knight

But instead hugged you

Mindful not to squeeze too hard but let himself be selfish and hold you tighter than he would normally dare to

He was one prone to be violent unless it was in sports or he was starved - the Noble starved him of your touch and kindness

He'll break more than just rooms once he gets his hands on that Noble

Belphegor:

He spun you to face him

Demanding

Needing your attention on him

It was only a few days but it felt like forever since he's had your eyes on him

"You're no pawn and no replacement, you are you and that's all I want, I don't want any one else, I know I've made you feel like a replacement - i did something horrible to you and then tried to make it seem like it was all okay after, I'm always trying to make up for that day but I know that is something that will always effect us! I missed you so much....you are your own person and you've helped me be a better person, come back home and let me make this right......you're all I want and need."

He broke down crying

Hanging his head low and it dropped onto your shoulder

He loosely held your waist whilst you gripped onto him tight

If everyone thought choking you was bad, just wait until they see what he plans to do with that noble

He couldn't stand seeing you so upset anymore

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

He gently held your arm

Giving it a small squeeze as tears built up

"He said all that? I'm sorry he made you feel like that, to feel such confliction and dread, You are never will be or were my pawn, you're a fantastic student and wonderful person who's did more than I've ever imagined Someone could do, if I could have asked you myself properly to be apart of the exchange program I would of but the world is not yet ready to merge and be aware of our existence.... please you have my deepest apologies and regrets that you felt this way and I've allowed such a person in my court, I will do whatever I can to make this right."

The tears finally fell and he became selfish

Hugging you tight against him, his fingers brushing against any skin he could touch

He couldn't dare to think how he'll be when you finally do leave the program

But until that time comes he needed to make it a good experience for you

If what barbatos did to him wasn't enough to convince him then he will not go back on his word

He'll fix this and do whatever he can to make all the pain stop

Barbatos:

He sighed in relief seeing you in the flesh

Knees buckling as he stood before you

His knuckles bloodied and bruised under his gloves

"I should of been more comforting when I found you, if I had known that was what he said I would of never let him be apart of the lord's court or be at that party, believe me when I say you are not a pawn or someone's replacement - you are so much more than that, you are you and someone that's made me feel closer to the present, to act quicker and stop using endless time as a excuse, I will fix this and make him regret ever uttering a word to you, I promise you."

Your touch was as gentle as ever

He caved, leaning against you

Happy to be able to make amends and fix the situation

The nobles dealt with him once and no matter what he did it wasn't enough

But he was merely holding back to be a gentleman, even if that noble now looks like a beaten raisin

It seemed he will have to do much worse to send everyone's message across

Solomon:

His face was gentle yet scolding

He gently brushed your cheek, wiping away a stray tear

"don't run off next time something like this happens, your life is so short and I hate to think would could happen if I lost you because you felt isolated even from me, you though you could find solace as both of us are humans but I was slow to understand your needs - you are deeply loved by everyone, I envy how much love you get and that's why I can't stand to see you run! I also love you and your presence, you have been so kind to me and I still have so much to teach you- please believe me when I say you're no one's pawn or replacement, you're important because you're you."

You crumbled completely

He hugged you as you apologized, calling yourself an idioit

But it only made him tsk, rubbing your back as he filled your ears with praises

He was sure the demons were going to rip that Noble to shreds but he couldn't help but desire his own revenge

Seeing you like this hurt him so much

Simeon:

He was so quick and gentle you could of mistaken him as a feather

He embraced you, cradling your head and rubbed soothing circles between your shoulder blades

"I was worried about you, I took you home and then I learn you've completely disappeared! No warning or note behind, you ran away - your feelings are extremely valid and I understand why you did this, It must of been so conflicting and you needed space to think and reflect, you're so strong (Y/N)! but you are also smarter than this, I feel ashamed knowing I haven't showed you how much I appreciate you being in my life and make sure you feel secure in the Devildom, I want to look over you but I've failed you already, that Noble does not know what he's talking about regardless of the information he has! I would never let anyone use you or let anyone treat you as some replacement, we all care so much about you."

He slightly swayed with you in his arms

Overwhelmed by his fears and the emotions that were rushing through him

He promised to never harm an innocent soul

That noble did not have one

He will leave the more physically destructive rage to the others

Wanting to merely talk and show the noble the error of his ways

Bonus:

You were back in the Devildom, Everyone was making sure to spend extra time with you. So happy to have you back and wanting to work on making you feel more secure. You couldn't stop how fast your heart was beating from all the overwhelming joy you felt.

It felt so good to be back. But you nagging worry remained in your head; what was going to happen to the Noble? you wished you could go up to him and yell at him. Prove him wrong and make him regret ever making you spiral like that.

When you brought up the idea, the men all looked at each other. A knowing look in their eye.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N) but I think it's best you don't see him but rest assured, we've dealt with him on your behalf and understand your wishes - let us know how we can help you feel resolved from that situation if this is unsatisfactory."

Diavolo answered. If it weren't the state the noble was in they'd happily let you chew him out but your heart and mind have been through enough already. No need to add on to the hurt with seeing what was left of him. They couldn't stand to see you upset again.

But you agreed, thanking them for their support and handling the situation. Unaware of their true actions. They all wished you a great day before going back to their own private meeting.

[simeons-sinful-saint]

Summertime Happiness

(OM) Boys (excluding Simeon, Solomon) x GN!Reader

Synopsis: the beach episode

WC: 3.2k

Note: it’s summer, and I miss the beach. I really want to go so I projected it here. I will say this is a part one bc I plan on writing smut for part two and you get to pick which ending you want. For example, you could pick to spend the night with Diavolo or you could choose Mammon. I’m challenging myself to write for each character so we’ll see how that goes.

“Beach! beach! Beach!” Mammon, Asmo, and Levi were chanting in the back of the car.

“Guys, we’re not even halfway there.” You groaned. They had been like that ever since you got to the human world. They then started squabbling about what to do. Mammon then tried to steal Levi’s tablet. Asmo seemed to ignore them completely.

“This would be our first human world beach! Of course, we’re excited. Just think of all the photos I could post.” Asmo was gleeful, the main person who suggested this trip.

“Well can you guys keep it down. I’ll turn this car around if you don’t!” They shut up, leaving you able to concentrate on the road, “You guys are lucky that Lucifer is in the other car.”

“I didn’t know you could drive MC.” Satan was in the front seat next to you.

“Of course! I’ve been driving since I was 16.”

“I’m sure you could teach Mammon how to drive safer.”

“Oi! Quit insulting me!”

“Honestly, why couldn’t Belphie be in my car. He’d just sleep.” You grumbled under your breath.

“I still don’t understand why Diavolo would want to come here when he has a beach of his own. Besides the beach is stupid.” Satan was now complaining. The choir in the back started up again, and you could feel the headache develop.

Instead of listening to them, you turned the music up to drown out the noise they were making.

That’s when Barbatos gave you a call. You answered it hands free, “hello?”

“MC, it seems the young lord would like to visit the nearest rest stop. He wants to see a human world gift shop.”

“There will be gift shops at the beach!”

“You don’t understand MC! I heard rest stop gift shops offer a wide variety of trinkets that the state offers.” Diavolo sounded too excited for you to say no.

“Also, Beel ran out of food, and we don’t want him to rampage in the car.” Lucifer sounded annoyed, probably because he got put in the back seat since Barbatos was driving.

“I’m hungry…” you could practically hear Beel’s stomach growl from the backseat as well.

“I suppose we need to fill the cars up with gas as well. There should be a rest stop at the next exit.”

“Understood. We’ll follow you to the rest stop of your choice.” Barbatos hung up. The music resumed. Hopefully, they didn’t hear the commotion from the back of your car.

You pulled off the next exit to arrive at a big gas station/truck stop. Parking your car at a pump, the others got out of the car to stretch their legs.

“You guys go ahead and get some snacks or drinks. Make sure to get me one too. The others should show up shortly.”

They walked into the shop thankfully not arguing. Barbatos shortly pulled in at the pump opposite of your car.

They also got out, and Diavolo practically ran to the shop with Beel following behind him.

“Lucifer, please don’t let them get into any trouble. That’s the last thing we need.” He nodded already looking annoyed. Upon inspecting their car, you could see Belphie peacefully sleeping in the back seat.

Barbatos walked over with a map consulting you on the best route to the beach. Their D.D.Ds didn’t have human world GPS, and of course, they didn’t have any human world phones to access it (and you weren’t planning on buying a new phone.) With a pen, you highlighted the route after consulting your GPS. You knew that Barbatos wouldn’t get lost behind you, but it was nice having this assurance.

Barbatos then turned around and excused himself from your discussion, heading towards the gas station shop. You tended to both of the cars, making sure that they were filled up and ready to go.

When you saw all of them come back to the car, Mammon was thrown over Barbatos’s shoulder.

“Put me down!”

“I’m sorry MC, but Mammon will be riding with us now.” You didn’t even want to know. Beel now was in your car, which solved part of the headache that was going on.

Lucifer simply texted you:

Mammon tried to steal

You knew that Mammon was going to be harshly punished in Barbatos’s car which he deserved. The last thing y’all needed was for the cops to come and arrest Mammon.

You noticed how many bags of souvenirs Diavolo was putting in the back of the car. It looked like he swept the store clean of everything. Same with Beel but with food.

“Beel, please make sure to not get food everywhere in my car. My parents would kill me if I ruined their seats.” He nodded and kept chowing down on the bag of chips he got.

Satan just shook his head and handed you a granola bar and a soda. Thankfully someone remembered to get what you asked for.

You all loaded the cars back up and set off once more. This time your car was quieter, and you were so thankful for that on the rest of the way to the beach.

—

“Finally! We’re here!” Asmo exclaimed when you parked the car at the condo y’all would be spending time at. Barbatos shortly pulled in next to you.

They got out of the car and met up with you, “We’ll need rolling carts for all of our luggage and supplies. They should be in the lobby’s office.”

Lucifer and Barbatos left to go fetch them and check in to the condo for you.

It was surprisingly easy to get all of the suitcases, beach supplies, and coolers up to the room. You made sure to get a big condo so everyone could get their own room (saved yourself the headache of who will be rooming with who.)

“Alright everyone, time to set up the ground rules!” You gathered everyone to the common room, “Make sure you all remember your human world names. Please do not stray too far from the others. We do have the beach for ourselves here, but the public beach isn’t too far from here. Please be careful to not wander that way. We have an itinerary for dinner and free times. Please do try to behave yourselves over the week we are here. Other than that, we’ll have fun!”

They all agreed and left to go unpack their stuff.

“I really hope we can get through this without any trouble. We’re spending too much money being here instead of being in Devildom.”

—

The sand was nice and warm. The sunlight danced over the waves, making the ocean sparkle. Lucifer and Barbatos already got the umbrellas and beach chairs prepared, so all the rest had to do was get into swimsuits.

Running out to settle down on a chair basking in the sunlight was your first objective.

“MC, you need to apply sunscreen before you sit out in the sun.” Barbatos walked over with the spray on sunscreen.

“Right. I forgot.”

“MC, I can help you put on your sunscreen!” Asmo ran over to you, “Then you can rub it all over my body.”

“Oi! If anyone is going to rub sunscreen on them, it’s going to be me. I’m their first so I have that right!” Mammon was quick to swoop in and grab the bottle out of Asmo’s hand.

“You can’t use that excuse every time. Especially since you’ll never admit how you feel.” Satan was the next one to take the bottle.

“I-I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, you know you’re a simp.” Levi came up to y’all, “O-Of course I will apply sunscreen on you MC. Who am I kidding you’ll never pick me.” You could hear every mumble under Levi’s breath.

“What on earth are you all doing?” It was Lucifer, “they are perfectly capable of putting sunscreen on themselves.”

“But their back! They couldn’t possible read that part,” Asmo flirted, “and I’m the perfect person.”

Lucifer rolled his eyes and took the bottle out of Satan’s hands, “I’ll put on your sunscreen MC”

“No fair! How come you get to do it?” They started to whine. Honestly at this point you didn’t care who put it on you.

“Thank you, Lucifer,” you turned your back towards him so he could apply the lotion on you. Feeling his hand run up and down your skin did feel nice.

The others continued to bitch at Lucifer about it.

“Haha! Your brothers are lively as always.” Diavolo stood next to Lucifer, who only sighed at his comment.

“I’m afraid so.”

Now that everyone was prepared, Mammon, Asmo, Levi, and Beel ran towards the water. Belphie was already asleep on a beach chair. Satan sat next to him with a book in hand. Diavolo was forcing Lucifer to build a sandcastle with him, while Barbatos helped by carrying buckets of ocean water.

A smile grew on your face as you ran towards the ocean yourself with a floaty, finally able to relax and play with everyone there.

When entering the nice warm water, you’re immediately dunked in. Rising back up,

“Mammon! You ass!” You move your hair out of your face.

“It’s ok MC, he did the same to me. He has a death wish,” Asmo looked furious. Every time he’s swim close to Mammon, he would simply swim away.

“Didn’t peg you as a good swimmer.”

“The great Mammon can do many things!” His laughter was infectious, and your anger fizzled out as you see the brothers chasing each other.

“Ugh, what normies.”

“What did you expect to do out here Levi?”

“Well you see I saw in this anime called A Trip to the Beach turns into a romance story and-“

“Forget I asked. I’m surprised that Mammon didn’t dunk you.”

“The water doesn’t scare me.”

“Makes sense. You do kind of control water. I guess this would be the best place to summon Lotan, besides the fact this is a human world beach.”

“Hahaha. I have no plans of doing that. My Ruri-Chan towel and bag would get soaked, and I don’t want that.”

“Right…”

You then heard eating sounds in your ear. Turning around, you see Beel mouth full of fish, “You can’t just eat the marine life here!”

“But I was hungry…”

“Then go to shore and grab some of the food we brought down here!”

Beel took you up on that offer as soon as he finished devouring the fish he caught with his bare hands. You just prayed he left something for the rest of you, lest you have to go back to the condo and get more.

Mammon quickly swam back and hid behind your back, practically using you as a shield.

“Don’t use MC to protect you!” Asmo was coming in hot. You dunked yourself under the water for Asmo to finally catch Mammon and push his head in the water.

Upon both of you returning to the surface, you shook your head to get the salt water out of your ears.

“You pushed too hard Asmo!” Mammon bitched.

“You brought this upon yourself!”

“Can you both shut up? I’m trying to fantasize about Ruri-Chan.”

“Stay out of this otaku!” They both shouted at the same time. Levi clammed up.

“Of course, they think I’m some weird gross shut in…”

“Oh Levi, that’s not true. Just let those two idiots fight and dunk each other under water. Let’s go back to shore and hunt for seashells!” He felt better from your words. Grabbing the floatie that seemed to be abandoned (you’re glad it didn’t float away into the sea), you both swam back and went to dry yourselves off.

Beel was devouring all of the food in the coolers you brought.

“Satan! Why didn’t you restrain him?”

“Huh, it’s not my job to keep Beel from eating everything. That’s Belphie’s.” You glanced to see that he was asleep basking in the summer sun.

“Of course.” You turned your attention back to Satan, “why don’t you come with Levi and I to hunt for seashells?”

“No.” It was immediate and caught you off guard, “I’m at the climax of this book, and I’ll do beach stuff when I’m done. Except go into the water.”

“Still don’t get it, but whatever.”

You grabbed the necessary supplies to gather seashells, and you made your way back to the shoreline with Levi by your side.

“Let’s see if we can find one that’s not broken! I’d love to get to a nice cone shaped one” Levi cheered up.

So far, you’ve only found broken sand dollars and pieces of broken corral, “well this isn’t great.”

“Oi! Why you hogging MC all to yourself?” Mammon always knew how to ruin a moment.

“Hey, Mammon~”

“Y-yeah?”

“You want a dollar?”

“Yes! Giving money to me is an investment-“

You simply placed a sand dollar in his hand causing Levi to practically die, howling about how you got him good.

Mammon just stood there looking like he could turn to dust at any moment. You couldn’t help but laugh.

Satisfied with your haul, you and Levi placed the bucket of shells back at the beach chairs.

“Still reading Satan?”

“Yes, and it’s getting good so leave me alone.” You roll your eyes in response. Levi said he would chill with Satan in the shade, something about getting his daily log on bonuses.

Shrugging, you turn on the group you hadn’t visited yet.

“Lucifer! Diavolo! How’s the sandcastle coming?”

“Well…I tried making a sand sculpture of Lucifer, but it doesn’t look anything like him.” Diavolo pouted. Upon looking at the pile of sand, you tried to hold back your laughter. If this was supposed to be Lucifer, then Asmo should really give him a makeover.

“The important thing is you tried Diavolo,” Lucifer tried to hide his annoyance, but of course he was bad at that (he would never admit it though.)

“Maybe we should take a break, my lord.”

“I guess so.” You felt bad and patted Diavolo on the back.

“You’ll get it right the next time you do it. Here why don’t I show you something humans do on the beach!”

Diavolo perked up, and the three of them followed you back to the shaded umbrella where their beach chairs were. You sauntered off and grabbed four bottles of beer and a bag of limes you cut up earlier (thankful that Beel didn’t eat them.)

You handed them the beer as well as a bottle opener, “Ok, so typically on the beach with this brand of beer, you push a lime into the neck of the bottle. It helps add flavor to the drink of the summer here.”

You demonstrated for them, even though Barbatos was a step ahead of you anyway. Diavolo looked at it all with wonder, taking a sip after preparing it, “Fascinating! Is this really what humans do?”

“Some. I like to do it when I go to the beach. It’s nice and relaxing. Plus, the advertising says to do this.”

“I do have to say, it does add a little aromatic flavor. However, I’ll have to decline drinking more than I already have.” Barbatos handed the bottle back to you. Even though you knew he had his reasons, it bummed you out a little.

“Well Lucifer! What do you think?” Diavolo turned towards his friend who was happily drinking his.

“Honestly, I needed some sort of break after being in the sun for so long.”

“Well, I’m glad I was able to help.” Lucifer smiled at your response, praising you about how you’re always a help to everyone.

You sat down next to them on the sand and just took in the calmness of the beach air, the smell of salty sea water filling your nose. It was enjoyable to have one moment of relaxation.

“Hey MC! Belphie’s awake! Help us throw him into the ocean!” You could hear Mammon from the other side of the beach.

“Your brothers are always so exciting, Lucifer,” Diavolo was laughing and was waiting for Lucifer to laugh along with him.

“More like a headache…”

“I’ll go over there so they don’t bother you three. Remember to get the relaxation you need. The three of you work way too hard, you deserve a break. That goes for you to Barbatos! You don’t have to be a butler here.”

He laughed at your comment, “So noted.”

Satisfied, you ran back over to the others.

“If you like to live, you’ll let go of me” Belphie was trying to fight, but with Mammon, Asmo, and Levi together, he didn’t stand a chance.

“Same for you Beel! Put me down so I can finish my book!”

“Nah, you can finish your book later. We’re at the beach. You should have fun with us!” Mammon had a death wish. They managed to pull Belphie and Satan into the water. Belphie at this point had already given up.

Satan, however, was like trying to bathe a cat. Extremely unhappy about it. He screamed profanities and was about to go apeshit, until you were by his side and holding his hand.

“It’s ok Satan. They just want you to have fun.” He huffed in response with a hint of blush developing on his face.

Finally, all of you were in the ocean, splashing water at each other, seeing who could hold their breath the longest, and float around letting the water massage your worries away.

The fun eventually was coming to a close. The sun started to set, and everyone went to pack everything up.

“Hold on!”

They turned to look at you who has a mischievous look on your face, holding up sparklers in their face, “They’re a lot of fun to have on the beach too.”

Everyone was about to decline until, “Ohhhh, that sounds like fun. I’ll do it with you MC.”

Diavolo started to take sparklers from your hand and went to get a lighter.

“Well, I guess I can do it too.” Mammon said.

“It does sound like fun. Plus, I can take all sorts of photos to post when we get back to Devildom.” Asmo ran to be by your side.

“Don’t eat the sparklers Beel,” Belphie said walking over with his twin.

“W-well it’s a normie thing to do, but if MC wants to do it then I will too.” Levi took a sparkler from the packet.

“As long as Lucifer isn’t going to participate then I will too.” Satan said.

“Too bad because Lucifer has to do this too!” Your words sounded very adamant, leaving Satan with no other choice.

Lucifer sighed but then smiled, “As long as your happy MC and Diavolo.”

You squealed in happiness. As you lit the sparklers, everyone waved them around. Asmo took photos of everyone with theirs. Mammon tried writing words (they didn’t look good.) The rest were happy to chase each other with Diavolo and Lucifer standing on the side. Diavolo was mesmerized by the sparks shooting out, and Lucifer couldn’t help but laugh with him.

Barbatos filmed the entire thing for everyone to remember later. One of the best days ever.

—

After showering, you noticed the night was still young. Everyone was kind of doing their own thing now.

You didn’t want the night to end too soon. Hitting up the town seemed like a good idea.

You sat thinking of who you should bring with you.

[blanc-et-n0ir]

Pranks (Solomon and MC)

“Lucifer let out a sigh as he went to enter his room, it’s time for him to start on his paperwork. When he opened the door and walked in, his face met a clear film of plastic and he flinched in shock. He scowled and ripped the clear film off the door frame, he’s going to ignore that for now.

“I don’t have the energy to think about this.” Lucifer growled.

Then, he walked to his desk. His foot bumped against his couch and he frowned. Something about his room felt odd. He shook his head and sat down, almost missing the chair by an inch. He growled and picked his quill to start on the paperwork.

That was when his eyes met the words on the paper and he almost screamed. They were adoption papers for Satan. His eye twitched as he crumpled the paper and threw it aside, he’ll deal with that later. He picked up another piece of paper which immediately was crumpled and thrown aside. He shuffled through his many papers and found every single one of them of the same content, with a few papers about his and Diavolo’s divorce and some works of fiction about him and Diavolo. 

“Who-”

He let his hand drag down his face, there could only be one culprit. Satan. The blonde merely wished for Lucifer to suffer on that day. He walked out the room, once again almost tripping over his couch.

//===\\

Mammon trudged up to his room, his eyes exhausted during the day at RAD. All he wanted to do was curl in his room, scrolling through Devilgram and not think about anything. He opened the door to his room and was met with a clear barrier. He let out a confused whine and walked backwards. He glared at the clear film and ran into his room. He tumbled inside, the clear film wrapping around him as he lay on the floor groaning.

“What in the hell was that?”

He stood up, rubbing his forehead as he threw the clear plastic to the side. He let out a loud whine as he pulled himself on his bed, almost missing it by a few centimetres. He cursed and fished for his phone in his pocket. He noticed that MC had posted a photo and got giddy. He wasn’t able to see the human the whole day which was weird but he pushed that aside for now.

“Wonder what MC posted...” He muttered as he pulled up the photo.

His brain practically bluescreened as he stared at the photo. It was MC alright. She had bed hair and was smiling lucidly at the camera. But in the background, Solomon also had the same bed hair and he was shirtless. He was shirtless and on the same bed as MC. SoloMON WAS SHIRTLESS AND ON THE SAME BED AS MC.

“WHAAATTT!” He screeched, standing up in lightning speed. He threw open his door and almsot bumped into Lucifer on the way, “MC, WHAT HAVE YA BEEN DOING WITH SOLOMON?”

//===\\

Levi was giddy as he almost tripped over himself trying to get into his room. The school day was finally over and he can watch that new DVD he got from Akuzon. He threw open the door and burst through the clear plastic. He paused and tried to get it off him.

“What the- what’s this!?” He shook his head and successfully untangled himself from the plastic and turned his attention to the new DVD. 

He got the case and pulled the CD out. He inserted it into his DVD player and turned on his television. He grinned, giddy as he waited for the screen to fully turn on. It was a new anime that had just come out and everyone was giving it good reviews so he wanted to try it out. Then, he caught sight of what the screen displayed instead.

“Wha-wha-whAT IS THIS?? THIS ISN’T MY ‘NEXT LIFE AS A VILLAINESS: ALL ROUTES LEAD TO DOOM’.” He paused before his eyes flashed, “MAMMOONNN! DID YOU STEAL MY NEW DVD!”

He ran out his door, eyes darkening in anger. he was already in his demon form when he caught sight of Mammon walking down the stairs. He growled ad chased after him, ignoring the loud screech from Asmo’s room. He almost got barelled into by Satan but he dodged. He’ll get that money grubbing, object stealing scum brother of his.

HOW DARE HE THINK OF SWITCHING HIS NEWWEST ANIME WITH SOMETHING AS WESTERN AND NORMIE AS TWILIGHT? NOT EVEN THE HUMANS LIKED THAT STUPID MOVIE.

//===\\

Satan let out a sigh as he rubbed his forehead, he can’t wait to curl up in his room and read a good book. He trudged up to his room, ignoring Mammon’s surprised shout from down the hall and opened his door. He walked in and was stopped by white clear plastic, almost falling over. His eye twitched and he swiped the plastics out of his way, stomping into his room.

“Who would put that there...”

He shook his head and picked up a book. He let himself fall against his armchair and opened the book. He cleared his head a bit before he read the first sentence. Everything was normal until he reached the middle paragraph. His eye twitched as it mentioned Lucifer and Diavolo. He closed the book and looked at the cover.

“It... doesn’t match.” He narrowed his eyes. “I could’ve sworn...”

He picked up another book and when he opened it, it showed memes. His eye twitched and he threw the book away from him. He picked another one up, opening it. This time it had a picture of Mammon singing in the shower. He slammed the book closed and growled. His temper was getting worse and he transformed into his demon form. The last book he opened had showed a crude drawing of his as a baby with Lucifer carrying him.

He screamed and threw the book away, ignoring the crash of the window it sailed out, “WHO TOUCHED MY BOOKS?” 

He let out a low growled and slammed open his door, first it was the stupid plastic and now this. He didn’t want any of this. He wanted a good book, a little rest and maybe a good cup of tea. He stormed down the stairs, almost knocking into Levi.

It was definitely Mammon, the idiot.

//===\\

Asmo had made a beeline for his room. The whole day had taken a lot out of him and he felt icky. He had planned to take a long and relaxing bath in his tub and use one of his scented oils. He hummed as he walked to his room and opened the door. He was impaired when he hit a clear plastic that blocked his path into his room. He made a double take and squinted, noticing the clear plastic. He scoffed and easily took it down, taking away all the excess plastic from the door frame to avoid any trash to clutter his beautiful room. He passed a trash can and dumped all the plastic inside.

He slowly stripped, enjoying the cool air and made his way to his bathroom. He smiled widely as his bathtub entered his field of vision. He picked a good scented oil to have and placed a few drips on the pristine clear water.

He slowly let himself sink into the water before he felt an unfamiliar texture. His eye twitched and he opened them to see the supposedly clear water had turned to yellow mush. He screeched and tripped on his way out the bathtub. He couldn’t believe what he had stumbled into. The yellow mush, clearly melted cheese, felt awful on his smooth skin.

“WHO FILLED MY BATHTUB WITH CHEESE?!”

He had unknowingly turned into his demon form as he stomped out of his bedroom, body still covered in cheese. He stomped past Lucifer who was checking inside Satan’s room and headed down, he will find out who messed with his bathtub.

“I S A I D, WHO FILLED MY BATHTUB WITH MELTED CHEESE?” He screeched into the halls, his voice carrying throughout the house.

//===\\

The moment he had stepped foot inside the house, he made his way to the kitchen. He was starving and Lucifer didn’t allow him to stop by Hell’s Kitchen for a snack. He opened the fridge and noticed a large sandwich. He licked his lips and noticed that no one had placed a note claiming it as their own. He smiled and picked it up before shoving it straight into his mouth. He choked when he was met with a dry flavor in his mouth.

He spat out the remnants of the sandwich and noticed it was foam, “Who?”

He shook his head and scoured the fridge for more unclaimed food. So far, everything he shoved into his mouth was foam. The tangy and dry taste of it making his stomach turn and ask for actual edible food. He had eaten the apple, the salad, the banana... even the turkey leg was foam. His eye twitched and he moved onto the Devildom delicacies, thinking that maybe it was all the human food. 

He picked up a custard and bit into it. It was foam. This was probably the fifth food he had shoved into his mouth that wasn’t food and his hunger had overtaken his thought process. He was in his demon form and he was hungry and angry. He had emptied the fridge by now and yet he hasn’t stumbled upon any real food.

“Who messED WITH THE FOOD?” Beel growled, stomping out the kitchen. Not only were the unclaimed food messed with, so were HIS food. Everything in the fridge was foam. Not even Mammon was stupid enough to do this.

He passed the common room where Belphie was looking in his phone with an enraged face. He would find whoever messed with his food.

//===\\

Belphie let out a sigh as he stepped foot inside the House of Lamentation. The whole day was really tiring. He felt his body sag and he dragged himself to the common room to sleep in peace. The moment his body hit the cushions of the couch, he fell into a deep slumber. Unbeknownst to him, two humans entered the common room with colored markers. The two giggled and exchange a quick glance with each other.

They set off to work, knowing Belphie was in a deep slumber and it’ll take more than a few little markings on his face to wake him up. Once they finished, they kept the markers and pulled out a roll of clear plastic. Solomon snickered as he taped the end of the plastic under the couch while MC pulled the roll over Belphie. They began methodologically wrapping him in plastic until his entire body was wrapped. He shifted a bit in his sleep and the two froze, exchanging a panicked look. 

When he remained sleeping, the two let out a relieved sigh. When the two heard the loud shout from Satan’s room, they immediately set to wrap up their work. Solomon got out some colorful hair ties and MC took out the large whoopee cushion. Solomon started to tie Belphie’s hair into uneven and weirdly placed pigtails while MC slid the cushion carefully in between the wrapped plastics.

That was when they heard Mammon’s shout and his footsteps. Solomon straightened and held out a hand to MC, “Would you care to make a grand exit?”

Asmo’s screech echoed throughout the whole house as MC smiled, “Of course!”

The loud bang that resounded in the common room due to their ‘grand’ exit woke Belphie up. He shot up, ready to scream at whoever made the loud noise to disturb his sleep when he heard the loud sound of the whoopee cushion hitting the plastic. His eye twitched as he was tangled up in a mess of plastic. He swiped them all away.

“Who in the seven hells would do this?” He growled. 

That was when he felt his hair and he got out his D.D.D and turned on the front camera. His anger grew when he saw his face and he stood up, shouting, “WHO DID THIS TO MY FACE!” 

He made his way to the entrance hall in his demon form, ready to kill whoever thought doing this to him was funny. 

//===\\

“SATAN IF YOU THOUGHT EXCHANGING MY PAPERWORK WITH NONESENSE IS FUNNY, THEN YOU’RE WRONG-”

“WHERE THE HELL IS MC? ARE THEY WITH SOLOMON-”

“MAMMON!! FIRST IT WAS MY MONEY AND NOW IT’S MY DVD!!” 

“WHOEVER THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO REPLACE MY BOOKS, I WILL USE YOUR-”

“I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR BOOKS, SATAN. LOOK AT ME, I’M COVERED IN STUPID MELTED CHEESE WHEN I’M SUPPOSED TO BE RELAXING IN MY BATH.”

“SOMEONE TOUCHED MY FOOD. WHO IS IT? WAS IT YOU, MAMMON?”

“WHO DID THIS TO MY FACE? I WILL MAKE SURE YOUR DEATH IS-”

Just outside the House of Lamentation, Solomon and MC exchanged a look before bursting into laughter. The plan had gone smoothly, they didn’t care if they had to miss one whole day at RAD- this was hilarious enough to make up for it.

“Ten minutes from they’ll probably be at each others’ throats with warpaint on their faces.” Solomon wheezed.

“Good.” MC grinned. “It was getting a little chummy around here.” 

[cyberpunkonline]

Ever wonder how much the shit you took in as a younger person influenced your whole deal?

Ever wonder how much the shit you took in as a younger person influenced your whole deal?

This was a thought which occurred recently – so we decided to have a look into it.

Take a snack from the bite sized book of bloody weird things.

We purchased via the medium of the bay of evil and then went through a batch of conspiracy and new age magazines from the 1990s and the first thing we realised is that this shitty brand of content has become so much more sophisticated in the last 30 years. The second terrifying thing we realised is that 90% of what we were reading was now “mainstream”. This ill-conceived nonsense somehow become the template.

That’s right, what was considered trash reading for the lunatic fringe in 1997 is now considered “a day in the timeline of a Facebook normie” in 2020.

How the fuck we let that happen is probably the gateway to the biggest conspiracy of them all conveniently never covered in any of these magazines.

The pages of these rags are filled with proto anti-vax hysteria, X-files inspired EBE encounters, sightings and theories, the familiar (even in the 90s and already largely washed up) “aliens built the pyramids” narrative, the ol’ “what is going on with the weather” vector, all lightly sprinkled with a fear of the loss of privacy which we see at this point didn’t go nearly far enough, and didn’t cause nearly enough fear (when it should have been the lone red flag we actually paid attention to but was skilfully watered down; peddled alongside utter shite). Fnord.

Why would it have raised it’s hard to understand head above the water? Who of the serious kooks let along the mainstream would have foreseen that we’d give it all up for free porn and addictive but valueless user experiences (a term which would have been as alien to your average 90s reader as the imagined chimerical sci-fi myth version of EBEs they want so much to have constructed the pyramids such is their insecurity about the potential of their own species, usually based on their own lack of success; “I can’t even wash my underwear, how could someone possibly build the Sphinx!?”).

Besides, people who were worried about digital privacy in the 90s were routinely excluded from parties, and laughed out of university lecture halls! Yeah reader, the memory still hurts. I digress…

Very little in these magazines alludes to the past (very little references the proceeding thousands of years of folklore and occultism in which much of its mythos has its real roots) – it is all future facing, leaping into the unknown, the exciting prospect of times so different from the now, despite the core of many of the thoughts within the articles and topics having been first ejaculated into popular culture decades before. The programme serves to keep people looking into the future anxious of change and dystopia they see at the end of every single path – inevitable (which would be amusing, were it not so accurate based on the mainstream view of the world as is today – evidence of a construct? You can decide. I’m not your mother or your lecturer).

And there, right there is perhaps the take away from this exercise.

I’m not your mother.

No…

We as a society NEED to look back and what the "kooks" were saying in the past in order to understand what happens in the now, we need to not rely on the mainstream to tell us what happened in history (written by the winners, celebrated by their progeny) - look to the fringes and you’ll see less has changed than you think. Go back thousands of years and the human condition still prioritises the same core-fears and these are exploited consistency in the same ways by the same type of people. If you need a devil to hate, an adversary to function; there it is. These people.

The digital nightmare we exist in now represents technological alteration in the speed and method of delivery; but not the overall agenda which remains a constant, and one that is either controlled to a degree that makes it unstoppable (so let’s just party on) or one that backs up what Alan Moore once said (and we paraphrase)…

The truth has always been more frightening that any conspiracy. The truth is no one is driving and this is all just absolute fucking chaos.

So did this shit influence our deal?

Only as the menu.

The main course of real earned knowledge filled the gap.

Go order from the big boy menu.

Get stuck in.

More like this:

www.tengushee.com/txt/

[thenextchapter22]

Visiting New York

Description: Crossover crack fic with The Mortal Instruments/Shadowhunters featuring Jace and Alec and Magnus and all the Demon Brothers.

Warnings: None! This is pure fun :)

Pairing(s): None!

Word Count: 1,636

Link to my AO3: Click Here

Author’s Notes: I originally got inspiration from a post here, but I cannot find it :(

_+_

It was a full moon night in New York City. The time was nearing 2 in the morning, and it was cool, crisp, and totally silent aside from the occasional car alarm or shout from some drunkard stumbling home.

Jace and Alec were out on their usual route. Nothing interested was happening, for a Tuesday at least. A few minor demons and a couple mundanes waltzing by stinking of booze. Just a normal, average, totally normal night for the parabatai.

“HEY HEY HEY! I JUST WANT TO TAKE A PEEK INSIDE! I WON’T STEAL, I SWEAR!”

“Keep your voice down, you fool.”

The pair glanced across the street. A group of men all dressed strangely for 2 a.m. stood in front of a store front window for expensive jewelry. While they were not the police, Jace and Alec still wouldn’t tolerate theft.

So they strolled across the street, expecting them not to notice as they were glamoured. But all of them, except for the one with a phone glued to his face, turned to look at them. That’s when Alec knew they were up to no good. And that they were not actually humans. Not that that meant they were evil, Alec was in love with a warlock after all. But when you heard the words ‘steal’ and saw 7 guys practically casing a store at night something was definitely wrong.

He raised his bow at them with an arrow ready to fire at any second, and Jace in turn his seraph at the other half Alec wasn’t aiming at. “Downworlders, what are you doing?” he asked in a deep threatening tone.

“Humans, what do you want?” the dark haired and red eyed demon in a fur coat (the only clothes that really made sense in this freezing cold) asked sarcastically.

Jace sneered. “He asked you a question. So answer it.”

He raised his brows, but kept his smile. Which was not very friendly. “I am not a ‘Downworlder;. We prefer the term ‘Demon’.”

Like that was any better.

Jace stumbled a little as the demon with the most feminine look, one would call him pretty rather than handsome, pranced to stand next to him and inhale before eyeing him up and down. “Ooohhh! You are so BEAUTIFUL and smell divine! I want to. Eat. You. Up! And these clothes, so sexy and tight, hnng~”

Jace flushed when his gaze went to his pants, and the demon licked his lips. He felt his hand shaking a little around his sword. This was worse than when Magnus flirted with Alec for the first time.

“Come on, don’t you want to have some fun together?” he asked, fingers tracing the air above Jace’s arm.

While Jace was being flirted with by the pretty demon, Alec was staring down the others.

“Where is the food? I’m so hungry.” The tall red head asked. His orange eyes looked so sad like someone kicked a puppy, and he held his stomach with one large hand.

“Most places are closed.” Alec felt almost bad for saying it because the demon looked even more upset.

The white haired demon’s eyes widened as he maneuvered right in front of their weapons, shocking the Shadowhunter at the bold move. “Woah, that sword looks like it’d go for a lot of grimm! Same with that bow thingy.”

Alec was stunned. Then the dark haired demon grabbed him and yanked him back by his clothes and started scolding him like a kid while holding him up off the ground, and Alec just shook his head and focused on someone else while that happened.

He looked at the demon with a phone that illuminated his face. Why was he glued to his phone? Was he texting some of their friends for help?

The demon was mumbling while frantically tapping and tilting his phone. “Gah! Stupid—no, left, left you normie!”

Then the purple haired one looked up and found Alec’s eyes with his own. He blushed, made an ‘eep’ noise, and hid his face even more. So, probably the least threatening of the seven.

Alec kept his bow facing towards the others. Mostly they seemed fine with weapons turned on them. The white haired demon kept going on about selling their stuff now that he was free, the blonde was unmoving and glaring them down with his arms crossed like the red-eyed demon. Jace was still handling the ‘pretty’ demon who kept speaking flirtatiously with him. The large red head said nothing, just kept holding his belly and looking around like food was going to appear. And the last one was…

Alec frowned. “Why is he holding a pillow and… is he sleeping?” Impossible, really, as he was standing up!

The hungry demon who stood next to the demon with a cow pillow to his chest smiled sheepishly. “He’s tired a lot.”

Alec jumped when Jace made a shocked noise and he shot his eyes over to see what happened. Jace was gaping at the demon, who looked super upset, and Alec could see a pink smudge on his parabatai’s cheek. Did the demon kiss Jace? He knew the look of lipstick or gloss from Magnus doing such things.

Alec was very confused at what was going on.

“Hmph! Not another one, this is just not fair! I always want the prettiest human and they always turn out to be unaffected by my charms,” the pretty one pouted, crossing his arms and looking very disappointed.

“Charms?” Jace asked, coming out of his stupor. “What kind of charms?”

The blonde with a permanent scowl on his face seemed annoyed with each word that came out of their mouths had decided to speak. He didn’t look directly at them, instead looking at his fingernails. It was very rude honestly. “He means his charms, his powers to attract any human into being with him.”

Jace stuttered. “Wh-what—b-but I—I’m straight!”

Asmo winked. “So was everyone else, honey~” He giggled.

Jace looked at Alec then. They knew why it wasn’t working. Because of Valentine’s experiments and Jace’s mixed blood.

The fur-coated demon hummed and looked between the two of them, arms crossed. “Well, it’s obvious we have a pair of hunters in our midst. And this one,” he said, pointing at Jace, smiling small without any real facial movement, “has pure angelic blood running through him.”

All the demons, except the blonde with a scowl and the one on his phone, made shocked sounds.

“I’m starving, can we get some food now?” the red head asked again, totally interrupting the tense atmosphere.

Alec made a super frustrated noise, and he saw who he had now deemed their ‘leader�� hide a chuckle himself.

Enough was enough.

“Are you here to hurt anyone or anything?”

“No.” The ‘leader’ confirmed. Again, speaking like they were playing a game.

“And are you planning on stealing anything?” Alec asked, watching the leather jacket wearing demon who was mumbling about ‘grimm’.

“We are not.”

Alec sighed. “Okay, fine.”

“Are we off the hook then, humans?” the leader asked.

“Yes, fine. But I have a few questions—”

“Luccciffeeerrrr~ I want to go inside, it’s freezing! At least lend me your coat!”

Jace and Alec both froze in spot.

“Lucifer?” Alec repeated, looking at the dark haired demon. “That is your name?”

“Lucifer Morningstar. Pleased to meet you.” He grinned, and it was all teeth and not ‘pleased’ at all. “And these are my brothers,” he said, gesturing to each as he said their names. “Mammon, Satan, Leviathan, Beelzebub, Belphegor, and Asmodeus.”

The Seven Lords of Hell.

What has this Tuesday turned into?

Lucifer, the avatar of Pride, seemed to stand a foot taller then. Or maybe it was the revelation of who exactly they were. He looked down at Alec and asked, “What sort of questions did you have?”

Alec felt his throat close up, and he cleared it quickly. “I just want to know what you are doing here.” Why did his voice seem so small and quiet compared to his?

“We are visiting a human friend. They recently moved to the city.”

“A friend?” Alec asked, confused. What human would be a friend with these seven demons?

Jace spoke up. “You do know it’s almost 3 in the morning. Unless they work night shift, they’re probably asleep.”

“We were unaware of the change in address until recently.”

Alec sighed. This was tricky. Either he could let these seven demons roam free, or he could keep an eye on them. It was obvious, really, when said plainly like that. If he let them go, it would be Hell on Earth.

“Well, I can see about getting you some rooms to sleep in for the night, I suppose.” Alec found it better to be friendly with them than cause more trouble. After all, these were… the seven avatars of sin in his city.

“Hang on, let me call my boyfriend.” He took out his phone and dialed.

“Oooh, I did not see that coming~ Just kidding, I totally did,” Asmodeus chuckled.

Alec resisted rolling his eyes. He, unlike Jace, did not have special blood, and would be affected by the charms of this demon.

“I hope they’ll have good food.”

“Hopefully internet and a charger cause my phones dying! Ah, this is terrible! I was just about to win!”

Alec tuned out their complaints. They seemed like teenagers, really. It was crazy to him. “Hey Mags. Can we make room for seven tonight?”

After a quick conversation and a ‘I love you’ at the end, to which a couple demons gagged (Mammon and Satan), he said, “Okay, you can stay with us. Magnus can make room, he’s a warlock.”

Asmodeus gasped. Then, with words to shock after everything that had happened, he screamed with joy, “MY SON!”

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #165

Summer shenanigans are a staple of the manga and anime work, though how much you can expect the clichés to actually happen depends on how much effort you’re willing to put into making it a reality. Fact is, summer is never as fantastical or memorable as we’d like to dream. You only get three(in Japan) high school summers in one lifetime. But as they say, it’s who you spend it with, not what, that will stick around with you. 

Chapter 165: Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Enjoy My Last High School Summer Break 

Hey, if Futaki wants to be a professional gamer girl (minus the bathwater), she’s gotta stay on top of the new releases. 

Mother always knows. Always.

There’s a fine line between persuading and threatening, Katou. Just saying.

I can already see the (not totally implausible) jokes about Mako and Yoshida secretly meeting to hook up. Even though that’s 99% not what will happen, Mako’s vagueness is something to note. The way I see it, Mako doesn’t want Yuri to feel left out, so she’s downplaying the “fun” she’ll be having with Yoshida.

Or Nico Tanigawa are blatantly ship-teasing. Either or.

Nemo’s got a pretty sweet LINE avatar.

Even through her messages, Nemo is still passive-aggressive, like she expects Tomoko won’t listen to her unless she’s demanding in her tone, exclamation points and all. She still gots a way to go to meet Katou’s level of intimidation, however.

Summer school?

Oh, the beach.

The greyscale nature of the manga medium makes this beach look a lot prettier than it probably is. Those delightful memories involving washed-up stingrays sure doesn’t help. 

I’m not entirely certain just how studious Yuri is as a student, but I imagine she’s playing up the “all work, no play” angle just to free herself from Nemo.

Nemo makes a fair point. Getting too cooped up indoors where it’s comfortable can make it difficult to study, especially when you're surrounded by distractions. A change of scenery can clear your head and make it easier to retain information. 

Of course, that sort of environmental shift doesn’t work for everyone. Someone like Nemo may appreciate the summery atmosphere, but a girl like Yuri would get agitated by the heat and humidity. Having external stimuli is ideal if you’re the type who operates better when your attention is dispersed. But for those that need to be focused on a single task to complete, it can be quite difficult.

Next time on Mythbusters...

But in all seriousness, I would like to see if there have been any real-life studies on certain sounds–waves in this case–improving one’s ability to concentrate and overall performance. My amateurish theory is that a lot of that “improvement” is a result of the placebo effect, or that there are otherwise too many extraneous factors to make a clear correlation.

In that respect, I think Yuri and Nemo’s arguments are both valid.  

A recent trend I’ve been noticing with Yuri is that she looks to Tomoko for validation. She acknowledges that they’re not the same, but having Tomoko back her up probably makes her feel more confident in her opinions, if for nothing more than having an equal-to-majority rule.

Of course, when Tomoko does disagree with her, that’s when Yuri has to either stubbornly stick to her guns, or honestly reassess herself. And thanks to the beauty of character development, the latter’s been happening more at a healthy pace.

OUCH.

It pains me to see Okada call out Yuri like that.

It pains me even more that you can’t really call out Okada for it, either.

Introverts are generally self-conscious about the very traits they embody, even when it’s that’s their comfort zone. Much like how an otaku will get uncomfortable when non-otakus hype them up. Sure, Okada probably meant it as a compliment when she called Yuri talkative, but it’s based on the idea that Yuri’s quiet nature was an incorrect assumption, which can feel kind of demoralizing.

It’s not an easy thing to address, and I’m curious to see how they’ll work through it going forward. 

Quick, someone go update their Wiki pages!. 

Reality ensues. All those amazing anime-esque summer plans can be deterred by something as simple as unreliable weather.  

Although, having to make your own wave sounds kind of defeats the purpose of being there, doesn’t it, Nemo?

Now playing...”Eroge BGM” Playlist.

Set on autoplay.

I’m glad that no one’s complaining about translating this text, cause let’s get real. The amount of redraws that would take is ridiculous, especially for an unofficial translation. 

If you think that I’m going to screencap every image of Yuri smiling just so we can bask in her cuteness...

You’d be absolutely correct.

Oooh man, this is arguably worse than calling out the quiet kid as “talkative”. At least during that time, it could pass as just an innocent observation. But being able to smile is one of those things they supposedly instill in you during primary school. Bringing it up like that suggests that Yuri is a child who purposely tries to hide her smiles. Again, Okada meant no harm, obviously, but if they’re going to push for an OkadaxYuri friendship, there’s going to be a lot of hoops to go through.

Tomoko may have opened her mind up more about the negative stereotypes about “normies”, but the positive stereotypes still persist. In this case, it’s the idea that her more sociable peers would enjoy school simply because they can hang out with their friends. Little did she know, that’s often not the case...

PINEAPPLE-CHAN DEVELOPMENT, BABY!

Ahem, pardon my outburst, but I’ve got a lot to say about this. We’ve known for a long time now that Okada is part of the “semi-in-crowd”, and it was easy to assume that all her socializing–going to karaoke for example–were just things she always enjoyed.

But what if it wasn’t. From what Okada’s implying, she sometimes ends up hanging out with people that she would rather not. Perhaps its a friend-of-a-friend type of struggle, where she hangs with people she doesn’t really like out of politeness for a mutual friend. And even if Okada is harboring a few dark thoughts, there’s plenty of reasons to not like going to school, as she said. As someone who’s relatively extroverted, having to work through the more solitary parts of school like studying can be especially difficult.

In short, hidden depths are great.

I can’t really blame you, Tomoko. When you secretly put people on a pedestal like that, it’s hard to acknowledge their human sides that show how they struggle with everyday problems just like anyone else. Even the most well-adjusted of people have their share of frustrations. 

This was totally Nemo’s plan all along.

All these panel shots of Yuri off to the side while everyone else gallivants fills me with those paternal feelings of a father wanting their daughter to make friends. It goes against everything I know about Yuri’s character, but I guess you shouldn’t underestimate the power of moe.    

This is a pretty good example of the line that separates Tomoko and Yuri. They have very similar perspectives, but it’s Tomoko’s status as an introverted extrovert that allows her to go in the ocean, while Yuri’s extroverted introvert personality lets her stay on the sidelines. 

Poor Beach-kun is not having a good day.

So even the others are noticing how Tomoko is like Yuri’s social floatation device.

Another person probably would’ve taken the sentimental route, going on about “saving these precious memories” or “I want you to experience this with us”. The kind of things Yuu-chan would say.

Thing is, Tomoko would get too embarrassed saying that touching crap, so she has to go the indirect route instead. Using pseudo-logic so she doesn’t have to exaggerate her emotions (which are there, just more reserved). 

Either way, it still sounds vaguely creepy coming from her.

Thankfully, it actually works here because Yuri has trouble articulating her emotions, too. Tomoko probably knows subconsciously that touching crap doesn’t work on Yuri, so it makes a great deal of sense that Yuri would be more responsive to dumb logic. Especially if it’s from her loveably dumb friend.

I can get used to Tomoko and Yuri unknowingly showing Nemo up.

Off in the distance...

“Getting tangled up in gross seaweed so you can spread your own grossness to other girls? Gross!”

Okay, so I know Tomoko is probably just genuinely startled by what's happening here, but you can’t tell me that her face doesn’t scream, “NOW’S MY CHANCE FOR A GROPIN’!”

lewd.

Okay, let’s be honest. I’ve watched enough anime to know that shots like this are easy fodder for fanservice. Conveniently transparent wet uniforms, amirite? And to be frank, I don’t think the mangakas are totally playing the innocent game. Sure, it’s not as blatantly objectifying as a lot of other series tend to do in scenes like this, but the posing of the girls and angle of the camera just seems too opportune to be anything but deliberate. Be careful when walking that fine line, Nico Tanigawa.

On a more positive note, I’m glad Tomoko’s first instinct was just to help them up. Though heaven knows she’s gonna milk this for all it’s worth back home.

Oh, Yuri and your accountability issues.

When life gives you lemons...you know the rest.

The best part about watching the crazy shenanigans you see in anime is that you can omit all the boring and troublesome real-life consequences. So yeah, accidentally getting splashed by beach water may seem fun in the moment, but the annoyance of having to wash your clothes afterward just isn’t worth it.

Sometimes, summer just won’t give you a break. 

Yes. Yes, you did.

Ignoring Tomoko’s embarrassed (or lewd–it’s kind of interchangeable) expression, this is probably the most wholesome summer chapter is the series’ run. That’s not to say that the chapter is “unrealistic” in any way. Sure, the end shot of all four of them reeks of 4-girl slice-of-life moe, but it actually deconstructs it a little. Instead of a fun memory, the memory itself is decidedly bothersome and more trouble than it’s worth, but there’s a sense of enjoyment to be gained from that. As Tomoko once implied, doing stupid, embarrassing things isn’t so bad when you can share in the experience. There’s a reason for the saying, “A few years from now, we’re gonna laugh at this,” after all.  

It may be Tomoko’s final summer in high school, but it will most certainly be her fondest.

[thatweirdmod]

Sainwell and Iglair PART 3

Story time (damn, now I realize before I should've said "hammer time!"):

I  wake up in the morning on a beaten up, twin sized bed, pale light   leaking through the window next to it. I groan, slide out, then look   around the room cluttered with clothes from my broken drawer and empty   drink cans. Some of the shit's from my dad's latest rage, some of it's   from my own laziness. Either way, I can't yet be bothered to reorganize.

I  dress, black hoodie over white t-shirt and I trade my pajama bottoms   for dark jeans. I open the door to go splash some water over my face,   and I'm greeted with my drunkard old man. I start passing by him,   wordlessly again, but he grabs my shoulder.

"No 'Good mornin' for your old man?"

Ugh, just what I need. "Morning pop", I mumble, and try to shove out of his grip. He grabs the back of my hoodie, and shoves me against the wall.

"What  is it with you, you little shit? You know, it makes me sick to look at  you. What is it that you do all day anyway, Sainwell?"

"School, loitering",  I respond dryly. He searches my eyes, for light maybe, but I know   there's only a dying darkness. There's not a drop love or passion to be found anywhere in my being. He's too pathetic and fickle to be able to say the same, though.

He knees me  in the stomach, and throws me down as I cough. He stomps me, over and over again. I wait for him to finish, irritation building in my chest. Part of me wants to let it explode at his turning back. I watch as dad grabs the open whiskey bottle he left on the counter, and walks away,   taking deep drinks from it.

I   despise the self-assured quality of his gait, the carelessness and lack of real thought that it conveys. Who does he think he is? Dumb, balding  fuck should've just kept drinking and ignored me. Whatever. I tolerate  him, cause I need him for now. He pays for my food, housing, and   tuition. Maybe I could do that myself, but it'd be a pain in the ass,   and cut into my free time, so I take the beatings and deal.

I  take yet another walk through the world of frozen air and grey. I'm   going to school, but I know I'm not going anywhere. I see the same   bitches from the other day, the ones who probably take this route to   ogle Iglair. He's rounding the corner from his street now, and here they  are, what a fucking coincidence. I'm too lazy to roll my eyes.

We  don't bother to wave at each other or say hi, but from a glance, we   quietly acknowledge each other. That makes me disgusted, not happy. Have  I become entangled with another human to the point of silent   understanding?

The cunts next to   me have the audacity to disturb the air with a couple of light giggles, and that's enough to set fire to the stagnant ice in my veins. I'm awake  to the possibilities of their demise, especially the one with the long  black hair. Fuck her.

The neighborhood curb that stretches along the street of the vacuous replays the high voices full of praise into my head. "Such a sweet girl." "Smart too." "Cute." "Promising." "She helped me so much with babysitting Jacob!"

Black  hair bitch is one of those people who just glides through life, or   seems to anyway. I bet I don't see her struggle behind closed doors, or maybe there isn't even one. Regardless, I'm not sure if I'm jealous of her. Can't be bothered to be. She makes me sick. Life would be easier if  I were like that too, but who cares?

The  only thing that's so great about her to me, is the way her hips sway   slightly as she glides through her sickening life. I bet I sound like a school shooter, but I don't use guns. They're stupid and noisy. Nothing  says, "Draw attention to me", like police finding records you purchased a  gun before some stupid, carbon copy of cliche perfection went missing.

She's  done nothing to earn my animosity, I realize, but she'll get it anyway.  We're approaching the school entrance, and the company of these  bitches, which I don't recall us ever asking for, has stalked us almost  the whole way.

I enter the large   building that I've long since gotten of tired of. I trudge through math,  history, and all the other shit which is of little consequence to my   life's ultimate path. A gang of four asswipes finds a gap of time to   rough me up. Their mouths spew forth the same foul arrogance, and their fists and tennis shoes strike the same spots as any other day. More   waiting to finish until bulky hypocrites are done with me.

I  eat the crappy school lunch, pocket a fourth of my burger for Keltcher,  finish going to the rest of my classes, and leave. I've barely said a  word to anyone the whole day, and only spoke when the shithead teacher  called on me.

Iglair catches my  eye on the way out. He's walking with that black-haired nuisance from  earlier. He shouldn't be. We're going to get rid of her, I've decided.  But maybe it should just be me. He might wind up being the last person  she was seen with.

We don't need none of that shit. None of that, "She last messaged you, asking when to meet up",  shit. We're supposed o throw the fucking pigs off, not lead them on.   Iglair can be duller than I am. Just cause you can call a bitch out   doesn't mean you should. Asshole. Maybe I'll kill him too one of these days.

I  turn away from their smiling faces. I get home, feed Keltcher on the   soggy, patchy lawn, trade the goody boy crap in my backpack for some   real shit, and head back out. Then, I track back in, grab a beer from   the fridge, and suck down it's creamy contents in a few gulps.

I  find myself walking down a street downtown, rather than the park. I   pass fast food joints, where people willingly kill themselves and our   evermore shitty planet with garbage food. Alas, I look around me, and   see the reasons why I can't be bothered to feel remorse every time I   take off one of these humans. I am one, too, but that just makes me want  to kill more. So much for empathy.

Not  "alas", though, for I'm secretly glad that I don't have to worry about  doing something wrong. I only take out the trash. Some other creature,  somewhere, is thanking me from the shadows of the bleak concrete world  that swept over its forest.

I   don't really care for the other creature, but I'm in good company with   it. I walk and walk, until I'm at the woods. I walk through the woods to  my house, take a beating, drink a beer, go to sleep.

Next  morning, dress, beating, beer, walking. On the walk, I start to rethink  my policy about guns. I could buy one in another town, and get a  silencer too. Just thinking about hitting some of the cunts at school.  But my first order of business is these bitches next to me. The air   around them is annoyingly warm. I hate them.

Iglair  is more social than me. He knows how to smile, how to laugh, how to   enjoy himself in the company of normie twats. It doesn't seem to make   him sick. Nothing does. I wonder how he does it, but not in the sense   that I admire his abilities. In fact, it annoys me.

In  my old computer chair after school, I'm furiously rubbing it out to   some porn of a "bear" masturbating. I hate it when they touch themselves  anywhere but the junk, caressing like some lonely, pathetic fool.   Thankfully, I've found one where he isn't doing that.

This  old bastard is just wanking like an animal. Okay. I finish, wipe up my  cum that's extra slimy today, pack my backpack, and leave. My average looks are covered with a burglar's mask, as I sleuth down a neighborhood  a ways from my house. Hitting the brown haired whore tonight, though  she's secondary in my opinion. I don't even remember how Iglair and I  came to the conclusion that it should be her.

Did  I mention it's already 3 fucking AM? Iglair is standing below her   window with a ladder and a crowbar. He's putting it up to her window   when he sees me approaching. Cunt should watch his surroundings more.   His reaction was late. He climbs the ladder, and pries open the girl's   window as quietly as possible. Only, what he thinks is quiet is noisy to  me. Fucking idiot.

He takes a few  glances around, and satisfied, he climbs into her room. I follow him up  and in. Brownie is lying on her side, sleeping. Her room's cleaner and  bigger than mine, with a few pieces of cute crap around and gadgety shit  too.

I've got a piece of tape  waiting for her mouth, and I snap it over. She wakes, disturbed and  groggy. I run the tape all around her head at the mouth a few more  times, as she starts freaking out more.

We're  doing it here. Her parents aren't home. She told Iglair they were going  on vacation for a couple of days. When they come back tomorrow, well,  the state that they find their sweet, beautiful daughter in will be  priceless.

The hole that they all  carefully carved out together through a spot in a grey wall of this  world will be packed in mercilessly with unbreakable diamond. This   diamond formed not in a deep volcano in Earth's mantle, but in Hell   itself, and it will thoroughly block the bright ray of sunlight which   once shone through the hole.

Yes, their first, pure, virgin reaction to the destruction of the most   precious life in their eyes, which no human can reverse, may be the   greatest joy to me.  But as the way of the world would have it, it's not  reasonably possible for Iglair and I witness.

I  climb on top of the girl, and pin her arms to the bed. More crying and  freaking out. Iglair's taking out some pieces of rope from his backpack,  and he ties each of her legs to the bottom posts. I force her arms  together so that he can tie them, and then tie her bound hands to the  top bed posts.

Her annoyingly high  pitched moans are thick with tears. Bitch sounds like a damn muppet.  She should at least try to reserve a bit of her dignity.

I'm  just now noticing the light sprinkling of freckles on her terrified   face. Just makes her even more of an innocent normie, makes her death   that much more sad. I tear open her pajama top, and she does one of   those raspy, muffled screams through the tape.

No  bra to sleep. I take a finely engraved with patterns hunting knife, and  start tracing a marble pattern into her the skin of her breasts. I poke  each of her nipples with the tip of the blade. They bleed a little. "Mmmmph!"

Stupid brownie cries. I suck her nipples so hard they change color. I drag the blade down her torso, deeper than on her tits.

Tears  spill from her eyes and wet her pillow. Iglair's standing off to the   side. This girl doesn't seem to excite him particularly. I claw at her   bleeding abdomen and breasts, making the cuts worse. I punch and slap   her breasts. I grab them, and pull on them harder and harder until she   makes a new sound of horror that conveys immense pain.

I  slap down her bruised breasts, and suck her nipples again. Then, I bite  them. Flesh tears, and her muffled screams ring in my ears again. I  shake my head with her nips in my mouth, like a wild animal feasting on  prey. It tears off.

I slice her  pants and panties with my hunting knife. Desperate, raspy cries rise up  and plead with my ears, but my blade continues to slice her skin in my  unyielding effort to get to my prize.  Her soft pink pussy is dry,  unlike the park whore's.

My penis  is out and erect already, and I start fucking her in smooth motions as I  pick up the hunting knife again. Brownie has started snotting, which  annoys and disgusts me.

I stab the  tip up to about an inch into the nipple of her other tit. I twist it  around a bit, all the while fucking her, then slide it out, pinch the  bleeding, ruined nipple, pulling it up. I then slice it off. Her cries  and mumbles are now weaker, more broken.

Iglair  sits on the bed near her head, and punches her several times in the   face, which makes the bed shake. He takes out his penis, and strips the tape off of her face. Before she can scream, he grabs her by the face. "Don't make a sound, or you'll find out just how much worse this can get for you."

He starts trying to put his dick in her mouth. "Open up, you damn whore." She finally complies. "Suck it properly",  Iglair commands. When she starts crying again and his dick falls out, he grabs her by the nose, and punches her in the teeth. She bursts into  another fit of tears, wails puffing past her bloody teeth. "For fucks sake, shut the hell up!"

I  pop my dick out, before I come, then I finger her roughly, and she   groans. I go down to suck her hard clit. I keep fingering and sucking.   She's in pain, but "bodies work", and she's getting wet.

Iglair  has finally got her sucking on his dick right. I finger her until I   feel her tightening. Her pussy spasms even though I know she hates it.   Shame and pain are etched into her face, ever the good girl. That annoying face. Iglair takes his dick out of her mouth, and I stab her in  the nose.

Iglair covers her mouth  as she groans, spitting blood. I grab the crowbar, and hook one of her  tits with it. I rip it across her chest, tearing her breasts. I beat her  in the chest with the crowbar, breaking some ribs. I throw it to the  ground, then fuck her pussy wildly and hard. Her bloody pussy squelches.

Iglair  comes on her face. She groans like a dying whore as a shove my  prick  in as deep as I can. I rape her hard in her pink genitalia for  several  minutes, then I come inside, breeding her like a brood mare. I'm  hard  again within a few minutes, and I siddle underneath her, putting  my  dick at her anus. Iglair climbs over her, and I start fucking her super  tight asshole. She screams in pain as he penetrates her pussy, and  I  can feel his dick moving through the wall of flesh. We ram her from   both ends so hard she can't help crying and crying. Then we double-team   cream inside her holes.

I found a   laptop on her desk, and I'm beating her with it. It starts breaking as   she cries and moans. Iglair switches his penis from her ass to her vag, and fucks that instead. I hand him a toothbrush I got from the bathroom.  He plunges it into her anus, twisting it and fucking her anus with it.  He switches from brush side to bottom side.

He  pulls out, and we cut the ropes. She's weak and sobbing now, and we   shove her to the ground. Iglair beats her with her chair, and I throw   hardcover books from the shelf at her. Iglair bends down over her again and fucks her doggy style, switches occasionally from ass to pussy until  he finally blows on her back and carpet.

"Please, please stop",  she cries, her voice void of anything but sorrow, agony, and   exhaustion. I respond by smacking her across the face five times with a hardcover fantasy book.

"Stupid cunt",  I growl. We kick and beat her for three minutes or so. Then, Iglair   bludgeons her face in with the crowbar. Brownie screams and gurgles, the  sound of the crowbar chunky, thudding and wet against her skull and   flesh. Then he flips it over, and yanks off chunks of her face using the  forked side. He beats in her face with that side too.

He  swings the crowbar down on her mound, then turns her flaccid body over  again. He sodomizes her anus with the crowbar, tearing out strips of   bloody flesh. I prod Iglair aside with a flute I found on her shelf,   then rape her lifeless body in the vagina, mouth, and anus. We each take  turns for 20 more minutes.

I stab  the ruins of her skull with my hunting knife until the blade chips, and  the flames of my rage have dimmed to glowing coals.  Iglair climbs out  of the window, and comes back in with a gas can. We drench everything we  can, starting at the remains of Brownie's face, then her bed, then  leaving at the bottom of the stairs.

I strike a match, throw it onto the trail, and we high tail into the night.

[thenextchapter22]

Visiting New York

So I took inspiration from @mammonsgoldcard on the post talking about a shadowhunters au with obey me and wrote this crazy stuff! Please enjoy!

_+_

It was a full moon night in New York City. The time was nearing 2 in the morning, and it was cool, crisp, and totally silent aside from the occasional car alarm or shout from some drunkard stumbling home.

Jace and Alec were out on their usual route. Nothing interested was happening, for a Tuesday at least. A few minor demons and a couple mundanes waltzing by stinking of booze. Just a normal, average, totally normal night for the parabatai.

“HEY HEY HEY! I JUST WANT TO TAKE A PEEK INSIDE! I WON’T STEAL, I SWEAR!”

“Keep your voice down, you fool.”

The pair glanced across the street. A group of men all dressed strangely for 2 a.m. stood in front of a store front window for expensive jewelry. While they were not the police, Jace and Alec still wouldn’t tolerate theft.

So they strolled across the street, expecting them not to notice as they were glamoured. But all of them, except for the one with a phone glued to his face, turned to look at them. That’s when Alec knew they were up to no good. And that they were not actually humans. Not that that meant they were evil, Alec was in love with a warlock after all. But when you heard the words ‘steal’ and saw 7 guys practically casing a store at night something was definitely wrong.

He raised his bow at them with an arrow ready to fire at any second, and Jace in turn his seraph at the other half Alec wasn’t aiming at. “Downworlders, what are you doing?” he asked in a deep threatening tone.

“Humans, what do you want?” the dark haired and red eyed demon in a fur coat (the only clothes that really made sense in this freezing cold) asked sarcastically.

Jace sneered. “He asked you a question. So answer it.”

He raised his brows, but kept his smile. Which was not very friendly. “I am not a ‘Downworlder;. We prefer the term ‘Demon’.”

Like that was any better.

Jace stumbled a little as the demon with the most feminine look, one would call him pretty rather than handsome, pranced to stand next to him and inhale before eyeing him up and down. “Ooohhh! You are so BEAUTIFUL and smell divine! I want to. Eat. You. Up! And these clothes, so sexy and tight, hnng~”

Jace flushed when his gaze went to his pants, and the demon licked his lips. He felt his hand shaking a little around his sword. This was worse than when Magnus flirted with Alec for the first time.

“Come on, don’t you want to have some fun together?” he asked, fingers tracing the air above Jace’s arm.

While Jace was being flirted with by the pretty demon, Alec was staring down the others.

“Where is the food? I’m so hungry.” The tall red head asked. His orange eyes looked so sad like someone kicked a puppy, and he held his stomach with one large hand.

“Most places are closed.” Alec felt almost bad for saying it because the demon looked even more upset.

The white haired demon’s eyes widened as he maneuvered right in front of their weapons, shocking the Shadowhunter at the bold move. “Woah, that sword looks like it’d go for a lot of grimm! Same with that bow thingy.”

Alec was stunned. Then the dark haired demon grabbed him and yanked him back by his clothes and started scolding him like a kid while holding him up off the ground, and Alec just shook his head and focused on someone else while that happened.

He looked at the demon with a phone that illuminated his face. Why was he glued to his phone? Was he texting some of their friends for help?

The demon was mumbling while frantically tapping and tilting his phone. “Gah! Stupid—no, left, left you normie!”

Then the purple haired one looked up and found Alec’s eyes with his own. He blushed, made an ‘eep’ noise, and hid his face even more. So, probably the least threatening of the seven.

Alec kept his bow facing towards the others. Mostly they seemed fine with weapons turned on them. The white haired demon kept going on about selling their stuff now that he was free, the blonde was unmoving and glaring them down with his arms crossed like the red-eyed demon. Jace was still handling the ‘pretty’ demon who kept speaking flirtatiously with him. The large red head said nothing, just kept holding his belly and looking around like food was going to appear. And the last one was…

Alec frowned. “Why is he holding a pillow and… is he sleeping?” Impossible, really, as he was standing up!

The hungry demon who stood next to the demon with a cow pillow to his chest smiled sheepishly. “He’s tired a lot.”

Alec jumped when Jace made a shocked noise and he shot his eyes over to see what happened. Jace was gaping at the demon, who looked super upset, and Alec could see a pink smudge on his parabatai’s cheek. Did the demon kiss Jace? He knew the look of lipstick or gloss from Magnus doing such things.

Alec was very confused at what was going on.

“Hmph! Not another one, this is just not fair! I always want the prettiest human and they always turn out to be unaffected by my charms,” the pretty one pouted, crossing his arms and looking very disappointed.

“Charms?” Jace asked, coming out of his stupor. “What kind of charms?”

The blonde with a permanent scowl on his face seemed annoyed with each word that came out of their mouths had decided to speak. He didn’t look directly at them, instead looking at his fingernails. It was very rude honestly. “He means his charms, his powers to attract any human into being with him.”

Jace stuttered. “Wh-what—b-but I—I’m straight!”

Asmo winked. “So was everyone else, honey~” He giggled.

Jace looked at Alec then. They knew why it wasn’t working. Because of Valentine’s experiments and Jace’s mixed blood.

The fur-coated demon hummed and looked between the two of them, arms crossed. “Well, it’s obvious we have a pair of hunters in our midst. And this one,” he said, pointing at Jace, smiling small without any real facial movement, “has pure angelic blood running through him.”

All the demons, except the blonde with a scowl and the one on his phone, made shocked sounds.

“I’m starving, can we get some food now?” the red head asked again, totally interrupting the tense atmosphere.

Alec made a super frustrated noise, and he saw who he had now deemed their ‘leader’ hide a chuckle himself.

Enough was enough.

“Are you here to hurt anyone or anything?”

“No.” The ‘leader’ confirmed. Again, speaking like they were playing a game.

“And are you planning on stealing anything?” Alec asked, watching the leather jacket wearing demon who was mumbling about ‘grimm’.

“We are not.”

Alec sighed. “Okay, fine.”

“Are we off the hook then, humans?” the leader asked.

“Yes, fine. But I have a few questions—”

“Luccciffeeerrrr~ I want to go inside, it’s freezing! At least lend me your coat!”

Jace and Alec both froze in spot.

“Lucifer?” Alec repeated, looking at the dark haired demon. “That is your name?”

“Lucifer Morningstar. Pleased to meet you.” He grinned, and it was all teeth and not ‘pleased’ at all. “And these are my brothers,” he said, gesturing to each as he said their names. “Mammon, Satan, Leviathan, Beelzebub, Belphegor, and Asmodeus.”

The Seven Lords of Hell.

What has this Tuesday turned into?

Lucifer, the avatar of Pride, seemed to stand a foot taller then. Or maybe it was the revelation of who exactly they were. He looked down at Alec and asked, “What sort of questions did you have?”

Alec felt his throat close up, and he cleared it quickly. “I just want to know what you are doing here.” Why did his voice seem so small and quiet compared to his?

“We are visiting a human friend. They recently moved to the city.”

“A friend?” Alec asked, confused. What human would be a friend with these seven demons?

Jace spoke up. “You do know it’s almost 3 in the morning. Unless they work night shift, they’re probably asleep.”

“We were unaware of the change in address until recently.”

Alec sighed. This was tricky. Either he could let these seven demons roam free, or he could keep an eye on them. It was obvious, really, when said plainly like that. If he let them go, it would be Hell on Earth.

“Well, I can see about getting you some rooms to sleep in for the night, I suppose.” Alec found it better to be friendly with them than cause more trouble. After all, these were… the seven avatars of sin in his city.

“Hang on, let me call my boyfriend.” He took out his phone and dialed.

“Oooh, I did not see that coming~ Just kidding, I totally did,” Asmodeus chuckled.

Alec resisted rolling his eyes. He, unlike Jace, did not have special blood, and would be affected by the charms of this demon.

“I hope they’ll have good food.”

“Hopefully internet and a charger cause my phones dying! Ah, this is terrible! I was just about to win!”

Alec tuned out their complaints. They seemed like teenagers, really. It was crazy to him. “Hey Mags. Can we make room for seven tonight?”

After a quick conversation and a ‘I love you’ at the end, to which a couple demons gagged (Mammon and Satan), he said, “Okay, you can stay with us. Magnus can make room, he’s a warlock.”

Asmodeus gasped. Then, with words to shock after everything that had happened, he screamed with joy, “MY SON!”