#I contribute nothing to the lives of the ppl around me or to the world.
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really nothing more detestable than a coward
#monumental vent post incoming don't read the tags if u don't want to 🫡🫡#about me to be clear. disgusted at this part of myself that I don't seem able to change at all#even ppl who do shitty things. at least they have confidence and intention and purpose. u can admire that#nothing lower than someone who harms others through inaction. someone who knows the right thing to do and can't bring themselves to do it#really subhuman in my cowardice. I don't think anyone has ever deserved respect less. I don't think anyone has ever been this useless#I contribute nothing to the lives of the ppl around me or to the world.#I could never be the hero of any story.#not suicidal but what is the point if I'm this useless. sure I can enjoy my life but I will never contribute anything to anyone else's life#I will never contribute anything of value to anyone's life. I will never be able to help in any meaningful way.#I can't even bring ppl the brief simple joy of laughter.#maybe that's why I like characters who were raised to be tools. at least they're given a purpose. a skill to hone. a cause to contribute to#even if it's like a bad evil cause that hurts them. at least they earn their existence somehow#I'm really like a waste of oxygen#ppl ask why we're here and I answer that I'm here to have fun. as if that's enough. is there anything more selfish than that#as if I've earned that. as if I've ever been anything but a burden on the ppl around me. ''I'm here to have fun'' god you're disgusting#I. enjoy my life. I just feel like I don't deserve to. I haven't earned it. I'm disgustingly useless#disclaimer I'm not suicidal and nothing really prompted this I've just been. thinking.#having new bad realizations. do u understand how privileged I am if I tell u I've never had these thoughts before#and I will think all this and continue to act as selfish and cowardly as I have always acted. I will continue to be paralyzed by inaction#nothing worse than someone who apologizes and then doesn't change their behavior#narcissus's echoes#vent
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im already grieving the minecraft movie
i think the thing abt the movie that upsets me the most, more than the awful art direction, more than the fact that its "live action", more than the corny writing, is the knowledge that it simply will not capture wat minecraft is at its core
minecraft is about that feeling of absolute freedom to anything and everything mixed with the melancholy of ur loneliness and complete lack of knowledge or understanding of the world around u
minecraft as a game gives u the world, not only in all its resources, but in its beauty, its love, while at the same time giving u nothing, telling u nothing, forcing u to learn and grow on ur own, which gives u ur sense of self, and contributes to the beauty of the world itself
a good version of the minecraft movie would simply cold open to steve awakening up in a grassy field, looking and walking around, gathering his bearings while that extra nostalgic cover of mice on venus plays, and would end with steve waking up in his bed in the house he painstakingly built over the course of the movie after jsut beating the ender dragon to the sound of the same song, as he looks out over all hes done, and simply sitting down to watch the sunrise
youtube
thats how minecraft feels, this peaceful yet heroing yet lonely experience of simply living in a world thats all meant for just u, the beauty and the horror and the love and the dread and the excitement and the melancholy of this absolute freedom in this lonely world that was made just for u, minecraft is an existential experience, and the movie ought to reflect that
but im sure it wont, and im grieving that, im grieving that so many ppl will be told that minecraft is rlly just this silly block game, that there isnt anything more to this game that has inspired generations, those who grew up w this, those who were uplifted by it, those who it brought joy to, it just saddens me that this game that means so much to me seemingly means nothing to those working on its silver screen adaptation
#minecraft#minecraft movie#minecraft philosophy#minecraft theory#minecraft art#art#movies#filmmaking#philosophy#minecraft poem#nostalgia#Youtube
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hi! i was wondering if you'd be willing to do an analysis of the aromantic manifesto thats been going around? most of the ppl ive seen so far have been from either non-aro queer ppl or non-loveless aros and i cant find any loveless aros talking about it, and ik thats something youve talked abt b4 (loveless aros i mean) id love to also see your thoughts on it.
So funny enough I saw this manifesto a while ago, but didn't really have any thoughts on it because I had too much trouble reading it for brain reasons, because its just. A lot.
So @spacelazarwolf compared this to lesbian separatism/radical feminism and I think that is pretty apt. Radical feminism takes accurate criticisms of the patriarchy (such as gender as a tool of oppression and misogyny) and comes to the conclusion that gender is, in all forms, inherently oppressive, men are inherently oppressors, and that to personally identify with gender roles or men in any way contributes to oppression, so we must take on political lesbianism to reject this.
This manifesto seems to do the same with amatonormativity. There are real criticisms of amatonormativity in queer spaces here; aromantics have talked a bit about how focusing queer liberation on romantic love as a reason why we shouldn't be oppressed is alienating, and how queer spaces often reinforce amatonormativity. But it then comes to the polarized conclusion that romance is itself oppressive, identification with romance contributes to oppression, and that we must take on (essentially) political aromanticism to reject this.
Which, like political lesbianism, is just... unnecessary? This is not the only conclusion we can come to as a result of these criticisms. And these conclusions prioritize abstract political theory over people's real lives and autonomy. Which is a big reason (although not the only one) why radical feminism fell apart, because eventually women got tired of having to structure their entire lives and identities around acting out Good Political Theory instead of being able to. y'know. Be themselves? But also, these kinds of conclusions are so absolute and polarized. They assume that nothing about gender or romance can grow and be improved.
There are parts of this manifesto I like. The line "The first big ruse of romance is that it is ubiquitous because it is natural, and it is natural because it is ubiquitous" I think is actually pretty cool and can be adapted to all kinds of things; for example, capitalism does the same thing, taking over as much of the world as possible & erasing other ways of life, and then using its dominance as evidence thats its just how humans naturally are. It brings up criticisms of love that are big parts of lovelessness, like the idea that love is inherently a good thing when it can be harmful and still be "love."
But then it takes the... strange path of saying that if people can't help how who they love, then neither can racists and transphobes and fatphobes, which is why romance is inherently oppressive. But like. Even within relationship anarchy, where all hierarchies are rejected, this problem won't disappear. Its a problem of attraction & how social systems shape how we think.
I also disagree with how it frames private vs public life:
Public life concerns the interests of people as citizens and is regarded as a legitimate sphere of social intervention. Private life concerns the interests of people as consumers/individuals and is nobody’s business but those privately involved. While the domestic sphere fashioned by heterosexual kinship relations has been historically designated as private life, queer intimacies have instead been regarded as a matter of public concern due to moral panics associating them with predation and perversion throughout history.
I disagree with this framing of private life as something which is seen as "nobody's business." Maybe that's true on the small scale of social politeness and ideals. But on a systematic level, to me, this is absolutely untrue, and its something I've been doing some thinking about with regards to modeling the patriarchy.
The patriarchy is greatly concerned with the private lives of individuals. In order to keep its control over society in general via gender-sex-sexuality, its important to control how people interact with others. Even heterosexual, cisgender relationships haven't been free from patriarchal scrutiny; the wife must submit to the husband, the children must submit to the parents, and the queers must be kept outside the home. Again, on the level of neighborly politeness, people are going to say "what happens in the home is none of my business." But a relationship where the wife is the breadwinner and the husband stays at home is easily subject to scrutiny because it threatens the patriarchal norms, which causes unease.
Romance, as a construct, is a tool of oppression in multiple ways. But the physical reality the construct is built on top of is not inherently evil. The feeling of romantic love is not inherently corrupt, the same way the feeling of gender isn't.
Their advice for abolishing romance also feels kinda... vague and unhelpful and messy. I'm still not really clear on what "abolishing romance" even entails because most of the things they list can be done while romantic relationships occur. It just reads like they took the ideas of relationship anarchy and made it political lesbianism 2
I, as an aromantic, find the idea of political aromanticism to be pretty gross. I know how it feels to be pushed towards a certain relationship with romance and I don't want to seen it done in reverse, and tbh I don't like the idea of making my identity into a political stance. Being aromantic absolutely influences my politics, but its also my experience as a person. Again, similarly to why it would be uncomfortable to have lesbian spaces be full of women who are not in any way attracted to women but are making a political statement.
It disappoints me that this manifesto's conclusion is that romance itself must be rejected, the same way radical feminism does. Because there are good points here, but all-or-nothing conclusion, to me, is more divisive than connective and that's a big problem. My feelings about gender abolition are that, if we achieve true liberation from the patriarchy, our construction of gender is naturally going to be very different. Perhaps those people will no longer use gender, or they'll just use it differently- but trying to force a specific outcome is unhelpful and clashes with individual autonomy and culture for the sake of political theory. Same goes for this. Maybe in a post-amatonormativity world, "romance" will lose meaning, or at least be very very different. But trying to force that outcome isn't helpful.
Anyways I hope these takes were interesting! Honestly given how much arophobia I've seen I'm worried people are going to see this manifesto and get hostile to a lot of aromantic ideas. So I wanna suggest that people check out I Am Not Voldemort by K.A Cook, which is where the concept of "loveless aros" came from, as well as The short instructional manifesto for relationship anarchy by Andie Nordgren, which created the concept of relationship anarchy. Both of these essays do a much better job at criticizing love & amatonormativity than this manifesto.
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No matter what Jk does some ppl will. never. be satisfied. They will always twist what he says, what he does, especially when it comes to Jimin. It will never be enough. Like, he could literally kiss him on cam they’d still say he wasn’t into it, didn’t French kiss him but just gave him a quick peck or whatever so it means he was just doing the bare minimum blah blah blah. They could even fuck for the whole world to see they’d manage to scrutinize his thrusts and the number of sweat drops falling down his back to say he was just doing it out of curtosy lmao. If Jk and Jikook don't satisfy you why keeping up with him? Seriously, why do ppl are so keen to waste their time like this if they don’t enjoy the content they’re engaging with? 2024 is right around the corner y’all, time to check your priorities… life is short, donˋt waste it. As for me, I'm so relieved these two will have each other for the next 18 months! I can't wait for the Jikook Show, it’s going to be epic, I don’t think we’re ready lmao
Forget them, they just trolling 🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣
This what they sent in 😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹
The jealousy and envy disguised as criticism.
They are just like Tuktukkers. They deliberately act blind and dumb and belittle JK's efforts and contributions so it's easier for them to hate on him.
"Jk couldn't attend Face promos" said with a dumb smug face in the same sentence as "just because he sings all JMs songs on his live- to promote his music to his unique fans, boost his reach, generate sales from the free ad and marketing- doesn't mean he supports him."
Naaa he should have sent a coffee truck that makes JM no money, sent food and flowers- that makes JM no money in sales for his Album whatsoever- That would have been so much better if he wanted to support JMs Album than him actually promoting his songs on live
Same people who complain Army doesn't buy Jms songs or stream his music. Same persons.
Jungkook is a sold out King and people will die to have him promote their content on his highly engaging lives- but nooooo that's not an asset to them when it comes to supporting Jm. Nope.
Even though he's shown time and again that's his way of supporting those he loves. His brother starts a business and he jumps right on live wearing his merch. Did he not get in trouble for that?
Jimin does a documentary and who shows up out of the blue to support him? Mic'd and all
Jimin is practicing for his MV and who shows up to watch and support him then too?
They call Jimin daddy but won't get off JKs Dick.
Hobi is adorable and we all want a sunshine like him- but he's so supportive Jimin chose Jungkook to do MS with 🥺
Talk of being there for Jimin🤭
And it's crazy they keep craving what others have when those others also want what Jungkook is and does for Jimin. You think Tuktukkers would be superimposing Taes face on Jikook moments if they were happy with Tuktukks dynamics?
Flowers and food- when we all know who is constantly eating with Jimin, pressuring Jimin to go out and eat with him, the one who BTS themselves call Jimin's chef,
the one doing cooking shows with him is not Hobi
It's almost as if they don't watch any content from BTS other than snippets from Twitter.
Watch Sope, Bon Voyage, Run, Episodes, lives- in full not the edits sir.
We here have a whole Ramen joke running in the Fandom because that's all JK keeps saying he eats with JM. The food buddies. Whenever Jungkook posts food you'd find JM in the comments somewhere reminiscing.
Those flowers and food gave him strength- bitch bye.
When it comes to gift giving, bts have ever complained the one person Jungkook gifts is Jimin prompting them to tease him that Jimin was his favorite out of the group.
Nevermind the snow block he went out to the mountains and brought back for him. We know in this Fandom Jungkook tones things down with Jimin when it comes onto gifts cos he'd kiss and tell and act a fool. It's common Fandom knowledge so I know he is not trying to imply Jungkook does nothing for JM.
That's toxic solo street slang rooted in fiction.
Watch content for yourself and spare us the rubbish.
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ig it's time for me to share my headcanons but also at this point prediction when it comes to Vander and Silco's relationship cos there's plenty of things I assume about them cos we know next to nothing. We know they used to be 'brothers', that they co-lead the uprising, believed in the Nation of Zaun and at some point Vander tried to drown him.
So first of all, and while I don't think this is controversial it is a speculation, I don't think they're bio or adopted brothers, I think they were brothers in arms. more on that later.
If they were each other's closest person, and that's what it sounds like, and they led an uprising together, then I assume they also lived together in the Last Drop before the betrayal. Started/owned it together. There's even a line about how Vander built the Lanes, so bcos they were co-leading back then and out of the two Silco is the one with talent for business, I assume it's really 'Vander and Silco built the Lanes' cos the Lanes are a black market. When you think about it Silco going on to sell Shimmer isn't that dissimilar to him (and Vander) starting an illegal bar where there used to be none at all before. Both alcohol and drugs are highly addictive substances that sell like hot cakes.
Silco keeps on repeating these lines like "The sons and daughters of Zaun deserve more than their runoff.", "You know what bore us through those times? Loyalty. Brothers and sisters back-to-back against whatever the world threw at us.", "We came from a world where there was never enough to go around, Finn. That is why we fight. Do you remember?" and so I get the impression during the first uprising he experienced this kind of comradery and unity with other ppl from the Undercity, but then the betrayal erased that. So while he still believes in it and somehow values it it's not how he currently functions at all. All his business and relations are based on money or violence, he doesn't rely on trust or loyalty cos the person he trusted the most tried to murder him.
Which bring me to my next point, I think that the betrayal resulted in a split where Vander got everything and Silco got nothing. In one moment Silco loses his whole support system and his home and everything he ever owned. The line "What is truth, but a survivor's story?" really solidifies it for me that Vander probs came up with some sort of lie so Silco had no business going back to the Lanes cos no one would take his side.
Which btw would also contribute to his 'we can't trust anyone' mentality and the isolation it brings cos if that happened then by the time of act I he seemingly just accepts his bad reputation and decides that it doesn't matter what ppl think cos he's not gonna trust them or value their opinion anyway. He essentially considers Vander a traitor but we never see him trying to publicly smear his reputation for the sake of improving his own. Vander actually even gets a statue built for him. The only exception to that seems to be Sevika who's present for when Vander corroborates Silco's version of events. Which could have been the final nail in the coffin for her (I think it's very likely she, Vander and Silco go all the way back, so she could have been one of the ppl Vander lied to about Silco).
With no one, homeless and with a rotting eye Silco hides somewhere in the caves and finds Singed, who heals him for free and likely treats it as an opportunity to study a unique malady. He probs surgically removes Silco's eyelids and supplies him with Shimmer (or an alternative, or maybe Shimmer-as-medicine was discovered by Singed before Shimmer-as-weapon). They start working together (and living together at the giant window base that could have originally been just Singed's lab). Bcos Silco in act I already has gold to pay Marcus with, I assume he was already up to some other business venture in between the betrayal and Shimmer. He probs funded Singed already at this point and so Singed worked on building him weapons. Upon Silco taking over the Last Drop he moves there permanently cos he doesn't need to crash at Singed's place anymore.
Now to the most self-indulgent but also imo super likely part (unless s2 drastically changes our perception of their relationship ig). Vander and Silco seem to me like platonic life partners. They spent what was probs years building a life and a home and a future together. They don't know the term queerplatonic and so they say 'brother' instead. Or maybe they were in love with each other but were in denial cos they didn't want to fuck each other cos they're aces. Anyway, I interpret them both as falling somewhere on the aroace spectrum. Imo them being two a-specs in a relationship is the most canon compliant interpretation of their relationship, more than them being gay or straight bros. It just fits so perfectly where 'straight bros' or 'gay' don't fully explain their relationship as we know it right now. How many gay ppl call the person they're in love with 'brother'? ig you could argue gay ppl sometimes get confused lol. Similarly how many straight friends attempt to live a life together (as roommates *gasp*) only with each other and never with any significant other?
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Been crying alot lately not knowing why, nd now I can verbalise it, I need to type it down for the sake of my sanity.. I think its lots of trauma dumping, I'm sorry
I've seen a post ask about if you're an ace would u be in romantic relationships, and I have just thought about how I'm always revolted by these concepts since I was 6 years old.
Having been always groomed to be wed to one of my cousins or a rich somebody to be my highest achievements as it solely focuses on my private parts as my worth and my ability to contribute to the family's "Good reputation" and reap back benefits to.
But I knew, all along, if I was forced to be with someone, that will end me being on this earth or them if they tried going near me. And growing up, I always tried to accept that fact, accept that u need to be pure and clean and be good for wedding and basically enslaved to it, cuz that's all our still impoverished family can aspire to. And on top of the dark thing that happened to me, making me truly believe I have no worth in this world and have prayed to be taken to heaven before I hit puberty, and have tried pitiful attempts to leave it, untill i got faint access to Internet and stole the keys to the locked books, they themselves should have been reading, around 17 years old, found an only opening and escape to reality.
I remember, my refusal was all the firmer the more anyone tries to tell me all about the glamor of being an intimate house maid and the domestic abuse they gloss over that I personally have witnessed time and time again with every couple that visited or we went to. I always respond that i am already one to my guardian's with the same abuse minus the gross intimate part.
I didn't even understand why I hated it so much while everyone is doing it, and as young as 16.
I avoided alot of marriage offers thanks to my guardians being, in one good way, over protective. And me losing my mind every time they brought it up. Literal uncharacteristic melt downs and now they fear the subject after they finally snapped me after saying no for years wasn't enough of a respond.
I'm 30 and the latest offer was from a rich cripple who was willing to pay all my guardians debts and give them a farm. My guardians dream. They turned it down without consulting me.
I've always hated the concept of pairs joined by s*x and the s*x itself. And marriage as a whole never made sense to me, considering the developing world and its problems. But I understand it as a bond if its first and foremost was not for love, it was for safety— mental, financial and otherwise.
And where I come from, independence is supported by the family, you can not survive, work, do anything if you do not have a family, and specially if you assigned a certain gender. So basically, I lived in isolation for the majority of my life, in poverty, marriage seen as the only -allowed- way out.
And it's all stims from a so called religious teachings.. Alot in common in this world, who take it as a personality trait and use it to justify injustice. Even though most of the time they know nothing about it beside what they are told by their authority figures and operat in this world as superior to all others because they were told they r the true religion. I saw on TT a so called mus-girl complaining about her children being exposed to 'rainbow ppl' in school education and having the nerve to complain about it living as a foreigner welcomed to practice her religion in a western country and claims not to be hateful. And yes, Arab ppl call the community 'rainbow' which reeks of the phobia and condescension. Like their religion teaches them to be at peace with all and treat ppl how they like to be treated, yet they fail to apply that when they don't like or lack the emotional intelligence to understand others who are merely different, just different and existing, exactly like them. And they do believe God made everything, so he did make those people, so what their excuse to that? And they exsisted since tbe dawn of humanity. And funny thing is their religion tells them that God made humans different, and urges them to read, to wonder the earth and consider facts and if they don't know to ask who are knowledgeable, and their intentions matters more and if they did unjustly by anyone, who ever they are, they r not a true mus--. It obviously translate to just ask a man who knows nothing about science, empathy or common sense or notice the accumulating facts and only repeat a select few he is told at a religious house. Thinking seems to be a burden these people happily relinquish to others. Which irkes me to no end
I was told all the shit I endured is because it from gods teachings, and it should make me happy. I never stopped questioning if this is a bless then why I was never happy? And why I can't do as I am told
They beat me up when I drew, when I was rowdy and when what now i know is stimming, shaming it as an act of another religion, and it was the running joke in the whole family. Mental health was an immense shame and hush hush, and anyone who seemed to need it was judged to be just a lesser mus-- so they deserve all the pain and suffering they get
I was glad that lady was getting chewed by ppl who was responding to her, but one person said something that just made me burst into tears and I couldn't stopp crying lately..
She said she was a teacher that goes from school to school and stuff so she experienced alot of communities and she noticed the vast differences between children who's family love and support is unconditional and those who don't, they obviously tend to later thrive.
And thats the word..
Thrive
Besides our financial situation never changing to the better, everything else was in decline, my guardians health themselves relying on me even more, and my mental anguish exasperated to a point i barely see a point in life, daily.. I can barely draw now, something I did 24/7
Everything that I am I had to do deep research for just to know that there's nothing wrong with me or im not deserving punishments for. I am ace, I am a gentle Them, I am on the spectrum, and I am Mani..
I did everything I do now in secret and complete agony. I learned English to gave privacy, continued to draw cuz it was my only alive part, and posted online when I was forbidden completely to protect my art from being lost, had to swear that I was nit interacting with others. I lied and one of the few times I was found, I was beaten while a school friend was on the other line in a voice chat. I was more humiliated that my friend witnessed it than being caught.
I still have the deep fear and distrust, I can't deal with social things, having to keep guessing which social cues they are using and not to become a living status, leaving the house the mere thought if it alone is panic inducing, I can never feel safe and cant risk something that might bring any harm to me and my sibs, every few days I struggle not to just delete my whole exsistance online. I can't look at faces even in pictures and if I did or need to I have to mentally prepare myself for so long. I literally had to convince my guardians that I can have a credit card so I can "learn" to do stock shi then used it to have PP and one day i got commissioned, and only when that happened I was able not to keep it a secret. And in its place now I feel the pressure when I can't provide or won't
The rest I still have no luck, I bearly managed to tell them recently that I suspect that I am on the spectrum, reading alot about it lately and it explains even things I couldn't. The nearest I managed to tell them that I am ace and what it is is that I started by saying I find who we are suppose to be wed to disgusting and I already living that glamorous stay at home shi nd co-raising 5 siblings they know very little about. They said fine but don't go saying that out loud cuz God says that marriage is the greatest bless but I won't force u ever.
I just feel my life force almost over, while I experienced nothing of life beyond isolation and constant need, so i cant thrive in anything.. Everything I wanted to do I begged to try was denied cuz either of my privates or cuz we were poor. I wanted to be athletic and do sports but there was no such thing as a second gender sports around. I wanted to be and still wish I could be, a wrestler. Unsurprisingly WWE was my inspiration and practiced as serious as a kid could, having what I believed a super pain tolerance cuz I never cried as I was beaten. I was cut from even watching it because it was "shameful " all of a sudden. Later I understood it was because everyone was shirtless and it was s*xulised by them. Everything became the same later, everything I drew or expressed feared to be s*xual and or homo nd I was punished over, I literally drew dying ppl and bromance alot at first. And they just projected their assumptions on me. I understood later and still can't bear the thought that ppl can project s*x into anything, and it never clicked in my mind because of what I am. And that was their biggest fear. I drew things cuz I saw them beautiful, and they only saw it as vulger, because they can't help but hyper s*xualize everything or assume it being so even with clear indications. Something that happened online too, tumblr nd tt, so it triggers me horribly
Something ace i also realised there's a word for (forgotten ittt ugh)— even though s*x and its mention is completely revolting to my person and I can have no relation to it. I can still enjoy it as a fictional concept, as entertainment, if u will, specially in a muse of two characters I enjoy. So drawing it is fun and exciting and enrichs my naughty side. Until I finish it and I never want to see it again cuz I'm not super good at it yet heh
In my mind, I can love and treasure who ever platonicly, and our bonds does not have to direct our paths in life. My romance is bromance, and meaning I will do everything to make my bestie happy, and my biggest wish is to live like tintin, in a mansion and everyone can be free to go on adventurous escapades, like getting coffee. ( i never done that, so
And this is something I wish to do with my siblings, if the stars were ever to align..
At least have Sherir with me.. puppets make me happy
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Hello my dear friend 🌟,
My name is Mahmoud Jihad, from Gaza, where all my dreams have shattered. I was studying Information Technology while caring for my sick father and younger siblings, but now, I have nothing but a flimsy tent to protect me from the cold of night. My home, my university, and everything that connected me to life have been completely destroyed, and I feel like everything has come to an end. 😢
We are living amidst indescribable destruction, and our days are fading into the depths of despair. I dream of escaping this hell with my family and returning to continue my studies, but the road ahead is blocked. Our hearts are filled with sorrow, and with each passing moment, we feel the world closing in around us. ❤️
I sincerely ask you, from the depths of my heart, to help save my family. Sharing, liking, commenting, or even a small donation could make a significant difference in our lives. Every contribution could be the glimmer of hope we've been waiting for in the darkness of this war. 😔
My campaign has been verified by @beesandwatermelons ✅ #190.
@gazavetters ✅ #63.
GoFundMe link: https://gofund.me/463cbf01
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you offer. Your support could help us survive and seek a better future.🌹
Passing along 🙏. Hope this helps. Pitch in if you can ppl.
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Bruh youre so fucking rude and if you hate me and my house so much just fucking LEAVE ALREADY
Also like nice job forgetting to remove me from the gc until AFTER you bitch about me
Like i fucking care, make me out as the bad guy to your friends as much as you want, i have receipts and im not the asshole here
This shit makes me wanna start a reddit so i can make a post on AITA and send it to yall lolol
"They treat us like squatters just cause we dont pay rent" UHHH number 1: not paying rent (or even contributing to the household in a positive way) makes you squatters lol, and number 2: we treat you like squatters cause you act like squatters
Like, youre not entitled to my kindness or charity, stop acting like entitled brats
I literally saved you from homelessness (by your own admission) by inviting you into my home rent-free, gave you your own spaces and helped decorate and shit and told you not to worry about money cause i wanted you to feel at home and be able to save money to get back on your feet, but also never imposed strict time limits on how long you could stay) and in return you treated my home like some shitty motel that you can just trash and not do anything to contribute to the household like you said you would
Nothing in this world is free, someone has to pay for it, so i end up paying for you to live here through utilities (which youve also raised significantly by never turning electronics/lights off and leaving the front door wide open all the time), ON TOP of buying you groceries, your medications, and a bunch of non-essentials like video games and shit cause you're depressed and apparently not being able to play the newest video game makes you actively suicidal
Ive also driven you to multiple dr appts on 3+ hour roundtrips, also on my own dime, and volunteered to give you weekly injections so that you didnt have to remember to take a pill every day
I put up with you being straight up rude to me (comparing me to your abuser all because i said i wouldnt go out of my way to fix a mess that you created, hello??) and this is the thanks i get??
Like, i even wrote out the nicest msg i could to be like hey pls stop being asshole roommates or you gotta go, with a detailed list of the shit you regularly pull, but i never sent it cause i was hoping that nicely asking about individual issues would be enough
Specific examples not included- REPEATEDLY using my nice steak knives as regular knives (for shit like peanut butter, cutting brownies, etc) and leaving them lying around dirty despite the fact that ive asked multiple times to AT LEAST clean them and put them away right away, vaping inside and allowing guests to vape inside despite knowing the STRICT no smoking rule, repeatedly using other peoples things without asking and not at least putting it back where found (perfume, toothpaste, cologne, socks, hair bleach etc etc), eating the last of other ppls food (one time i got a dozen donuts and ate two, then when i came back not even 6hr later, the entire box was empty and no one had said a word to me, i had bought them for my sister who was visiting, who didnt get to have any), using the last of the toilet paper and instead of letting someone know or getting more, using paper towels (like were you raised in a barn?? Paper towels cannot go in the toilet), losing the only garage key when you shouldnt have even had it with you in the first place, and more that i cant even think of rn
So if you "feel like [your] at war constantly" then maybe stop doing shit that you know is going to start fights, aka stop stomping all over my boundaries
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what made you stop liking harry
i rly hate when ppl post essays abt why theyre "unstanning" or whatever so its under the cut
i haven't rly vibed with him since early 2020. the first Big red flag for me was when he released the stupid STUPID covid merch, which cost me some mutuals (that i'd been previously very fond of) because i said it was a tone deaf thing for him to do and just very stupid—all the while masquerading around los angeles getting papped at the onset of a global pandemic. like that was so so stupid. i dont care if the proceeds or the profits or whatever went to charity; he could easily donate that much money out of his own pocket without putting factory workers at even more risk.
i forget when his casting in my policeman was announced but i do know that he knew about it when he was going to those black lives matter protests and kneeling with black people, knowing full well he'd agreed to play a cop—in 1950s england of all places. in a movie that will not address that racism and colonization because it's about two white gay men. newsflash: gay cops are class traitors. as a pakistani queer person, i HATE his involvement in that story and there's nothing u can say to change my mind about that
not excited about dont worry darling bc every mf on the planet has been obsessed with olivia wilde and if he's fucking her or if she's an evil bitch or whatever and im bored. i dont care
i fucking hate pleasing. i HATE pleasing. i hate that its a "lifestyle" brand, which means they can sell literally anything they want without actually having any credibility or authority to do so. im sick of celebrity makeup brands but at least those celebrities deal with makeup a lot on a daily basis. harry specifically has no business putting out skincare items—which aren't even good—and charges the prices that he has. i hate how much they charge for shipping and for literally everything, and how late their deliveries are. taking literal months and months. yes i know harry himself doesnt dictate all of that but it's his name attached to the brand. if i have a problem with ariana grande's makeup line, i'm going to complain about ariana grande—not the people putting together the formulas. u know?
OH. there was also that nfl/pepsi fiasco. lmao. forgot about that until now but that made me feel incredibly icky and im glad it was disaster
i didn't like harry's house
i also dont like his silence regarding palestine. ironically this isnt AS much of a contributing factor bc he doesnt need to comment on everything going on in the world but he has a habit of saying something when tragedy strikes somewhere that isn't palestine. so that has left a bad taste in my mouth <3
and i HATE his fans. the way they talk about him is so fucking obnoxious. if they didnt harass me literally every single maybe i might still care a little bit. but i blacklisted his name a few months ago bc blocking only goes so far and i did not want to see what these freaks were saying, which resulted in me rarely ever seeing anything harry related. and i realized... i don't really care if i dont see him. and that was that. it's not like any one big thing happened and i decided i hate him. i just realized i dont rlly love him anymore the way i once did. i still really love self titled and fine line and i'll probably still listen to any other music he puts out but yeah. thats all
#that got long lmao sorry but i dont wanna get asked this again so here is the whole sordid tale#anonymous#answered
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With the discussion a/ GGDD queerness and how ppl are uncomfortable w/ talking a/ that but are cool w/ speculating about their intimate lives, it makes me think a lot a/ how certain fanwork can contribute to this. By the nature of fan content, some of it is bound to be explicit and while that in of itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing, you have to be careful a/ not fetishizing GGDD. In fiction, sex can be a shorthand for relationship dynamics and while it is all not real, it can be very uncomfortable to read a/ GG feminized or DD infantilized through these situations. Of course, if you don’t like something , you shouldn’t read it, but the fact that is so prevalent in bjyx fanwork says a lot a/ how some people view them. Of course, there is so much amazing fan content that treats them w/ the respect they deserve (whether explicit or not), but I feel like this is a very important conversation to be had since there is a lot of content that doesn’t do this very well.
This is in reference to a previous post.
When I first came to the fandom I had never read or even heard much talk about fan fiction before, negative or positive. It just wasn’t part of the world I lived in. The sum of what I knew about fan fiction at the time was that Fifty Shades of Grey had started out as fan fiction. I had read this in an article somewhere.
When I was on Twitter I started seeing all these fiction prompts and snippets from works in progress, etc. and I was shocked at what was being said about GG and DD. I found a lot of it really offensive. Not because of the sexual nature of it, but because of the breathtaking objectification and dehumanization apparent in the tone of what I saw. It was not uncommon to see things like, “Need to see XZ plowed hard in the ass!! Bonus points for spit roasting!!”
For someone completely unaware of fan fiction and fan fiction culture, that type of thing looks outrageously disrespectful, even homophobic. And it’s a constant staple of fandom Twitter.
I actually have a lengthy post about that in my drafts that I never got around to finishing. I’ll try to get to that at some point. (EDIT: most of that post ended up here).
Anyway, as I became more aware of fan fiction and fan fiction culture - and particularly as I began reading RPF myself - I gradually came to see it through an entirely different lens.
It’s true that a lot of the posts on Twitter still offend me, but I have also developed a really strong value for the rights of fans to do fan fiction in whatever way they please, without being judged for it. Most of the analysis or critique people try to do about fan fiction and fan fiction culture is just downright wrong. At times it is in itself an attempt at oppression.
I think of fan fiction as an open field for creation. People are free to write whatever they want to write. End of story.
We are free to think some of it is terribly out of touch or reflects an ignorance of healthy human relationships or basic anatomy, but our opinions should never cross over into an attempt to influence people to change their stories or approach. At least, not unless such a shift is the outcome of a friendly, constructive good faith dialogue with authors who have actively sought out those discussions and feedback. It should never be thrust upon an author who hasn’t requested it.
I would also caution people to not read too much (no pun intended) into what’s being presented in fan fiction. Sure, some stories might be a reflection of the author and their values, but in most cases it will be no reflection at all. Authors often use fan fiction as a means to freely explore themes and ideas that have nothing to do with the politics a reader is trying to apply to it.
For example, what you might see as someone trying to homophobically feminize GG in a story might actually be the author trying to experiment with gender identity, or trying to place themself in the character as a means of exploring certain themes and ideas.
Fiction is fiction. And with fan fiction, there is a huge culture of experimentation and exploration that simply can’t be analyzed in the same way mainstream popular media can. Looking at fan fiction through that lens will only lead to misunderstandings, mischaracterizations and injustices. Let authors be.
Unless an author is actually trying for good, accurate representation and asks for feedback on how they are doing, we should never assume their motives or offer critique on it. To do so would be arrogant presumptuousness at best, harassment at worst. When you see something that seems out of pace with what you’d expect to see in the real world, there is a really good chance that the author is experimenting with some other theme or identity, rather than trying to present a realistic depiction of a particular person or group.
It’s important to look at the tags for fiction because most authors will tag for this sort of thing so that people aren’t taken by surprise. If an author writes things that upset or offend you, scroll on by and find authors you enjoy.
Analysis and discussion of queer politics, queer representation and queer rights - that’s all better focused in the real world, where our discussions are about real people and real situations and have real implications for real audiences.
You might find this post really helpful in giving context for fan fiction.
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sometimes i’ve been asking myself, what the fuck are you doing, going forward with this trans thing? is it even worth it anymore, after all this shit you’ve been through? what it might bring on you? i’m so tired.
and then i have to remember, these are temporarily depressed thoughts from a traumatized mind. i’ve been through some shit in life. a lot of people have. i’m not even enjoying anything i used to. this isn’t “the normal (optimal) me”, speaking from a real place in my mind that reflects my own happiness. i’m just……… tired, and there’s that side that wants to accept its own exhaustion and not do anything, just hibernate post-trauma, to take care of its own brain, that feels that changes seem too daunting.
but like… the side of yourself that wants to change, that’s the side that will save your life. that side that keeps its mind open like a child, that imagines what would be most beautiful for yourself, and wants to reach out and get it. you HAVE to ignore the other side, and feed this side instead. you HAVE to wake up and do what’s right for you, for your future, not just for your temporary survival.
things that contribute to your comfort zone will kill you. the very phrase “comfort zone” is misleading — you can be incredibly uncomfortable, and just resign yourself to it, just stay that way where nothing changes, purely because it is what you are used to doing, the way you had to live for so long. but that side will fucking kill you. you HAVE to kill it first, before it steals more days, years of your life — because IT is killing YOU now, whether you do something about it or not.
you HAVE to make a long-term plan and do, and work for it.
you HAVE to take risks that feel scary, strange. you HAVE to expand your capabilities past what you think you can do.
you HAVE to challenge yourself. you HAVE to get EXCITED for that challenge! like a child excited for the first day of school. or nothing will change. you have to. it is not optional. you have no other choice but to get up and fucking do it.
i just…………… i feel things about this.
you HAVE to remember that the side that wants you to stay in stasis, with things all the same, is your enemy. it’s killing you and you need to be stronger. faster. even on days, especially on days when you don’t possibly feel like you can, at all. but you have to.
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you HAVE to feed the side that’s a little evel knievel, that takes risks, that wants to go boldly dyke-ily forward and race through life in your fucking motorcycle jacket… you literally have to or you’ll die.
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“did you always know you were right?” what a validating, respectful question, to someone who had been so judged in such a rigid time period and environment, someone who didn’t let any of that grind her the fuck down…for a mainstream television talking head to ask such a compassionate question, take such a stance, and in a little subtle way. just throwing it at her, in a way, to say that “yes, i’m on your side.” unexpectedly.
i think about this interview literally all the time. parts of it like that are what get me through life. “did you always know you were right?” yes, but i was made to doubt it and pushed around by people who didn’t recognize, or did but wouldn’t accept it. i predicted every trauma years before it happened but no one listened. you HAVE to respect that side of yourself, you HAVE to be gutsy, you HAVE to validate that part in yourself that no one else is validating. you HAVE to love her/him/her-him. you fucking HAVE to. i’ve had enough of telling myself the same lies this world tried to tell me. (chronic invalidation as abuse tactic. female socialization on steroids — more like pushover socialization. i was always too willful to fully accept it in my mind, but i still let it/these ppl take the reins and change my life, for the fucking worse.) they were not right and i know what’s right for me and i’m going to chase it.
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It’s the live blogging for the beginning of the Arrancar arc that I forgot to post after I read it. Just a warning that I talk way too much in this one.
Ichigo looks genuinely SO scared that Tatsuki can see his deputy badge. Not just shocked, but scared. He doesn’t want her to be a target, but as we know, she becomes one after not dying immediately after Yammy does his mass soul suck.
He just got back from the Soul Society and it’s like he’s just remembering ‘oh fuck, I’m home again and all the people I care about are still at risk. Saving Rukia didn’t suddenly change that’.
That one, big battle against Byakuya didn’t suddenly end everything. The world is still changed for him and for the people around him and the happily ever after didn’t come just because he won.
Not sure, because I haven’t gotten to when Ichigo actually takes Shinji up on his offer, but I’m sure what Isshin says is the Central 46 cover up version of things, because as we know, it’s not true.
And Isshin saying this is very funny, because you are ALSO a lawless ex-soul reaper, sir. If you stepped foot in the Seireitei, they would beat the shit out of you. The remaining Shibas would flower cannon their way in and join the party, too (mostly because that’s how they express concern, but yknow).
Real friendship is being so horribly gross to each other that you are embarrassed for yourself and each other. Shinji doesn’t even wanna do this, it’s just something he has to do, to preserve his shaken honor and to make Hiyori regret the day she thought touching his pancake ass was a good idea.
Okay, so I don’t have anything grand to say, just that I really enjoy how ALL of the Arrancars are introduced in the sexiest way possible on panel. Even Yammy looks great when he’s introduced. RIP to the ppl who only know these characters from the anime, because the optics of this arc was lost in translation, for sure.
Like, the designs of the Arrancar are literally so fucking good. Even the designs that ppl say are “ugly” fuck so hard. Kubo truly is un fucking beaten at making seggsy characters.
God this panel FUCKS. Not only the swaths of black that signify Hichigo trying his best to take control of Ichigo the moment he sees a strong opponent, but the way that Ichigo automatically looks to Orihime and Chad because he is genuinely scared that once he loses control, they will be as likely a target as the Arrancar.
It also makes his consequent instinct to push them both away later on, both in his reluctance to speak to Orihime and his insistence that Chad run away instead of fight beside him, more nuanced later on.
He’s not just guilty. He’s scared. He knows that Shinji is right, as much as doesn’t want to get involved with him. The idea that he would not just fail to protect his friends, but be the one putting them in danger pulls him back to how he felt in the beginning, when he was made to realize that his friends and family where at risk due to his spiritual pressure luring in hollows/giving them sight and powers.
And once again, Rukia forces him to understand its not something he can change. And it’s not something he can shoulder alone. Not just when she forces him to speak to Orihime with some fucking honesty in his voice, but also when she looks disappointed at Chad running the opposite direction of Ichigo when Grimmjow shows up, because there is only one reason he would do that (because Ichigo was scared and told him to leave).
Sometimes you just have to slap the self destructive tendencies out of your local human delinquent turned friend because he’s so used to aggression that its the way he’s most comfortable speaking about his baggage in any capacity.
Damn, ma, how’d you package all these onigiri? And don’t you fucking lie to me 🔪🔪🔪
The concept that there are soul reapers that don’t understand mass production is actually so fucking funny.
They go to the human world and treat malls like modern day castles. They are humble gods lording over their mall food court feast.
This is how I know the majority of shinigami know how to sew and cook, because there is no way they can just pop into some local convenience store or fast fashion shop.
Except for the 12th division/R&D. They eat like malnourished college kids trying to develop scurvy for the fun of it and wear embarrassing merch after they spill mountain dew on themselves.
I know some people don’t like that Orihime has so much time dedicated to her feelings of jealousy, but I think its one of the best handled parts of this arc, because her jealousy stems first and foremost from her insecurity that she no longer belongs--that for all her smarts and unique powers, it is not enough and will never be--she is not enough and never will be.
Orihime just got back from the Soul Society, where she feels she has done nothing of help, and she comments on this multiple times. She was not hurt, because she did not battle, and could not hear Isane call out the news of Aizen’s betrayal. She was not strong enough to help Uryu against Mayuri or Ichigo against Byakuya.
She doesn’t view her contributions in Soul Society as valid, because she is not proficient in battle and above that, she does not want to kill people, even enemies. How could she possibly belong to the same world as Ichigo, Chad, and Uryu when the sight of complete strangers being blown to bits makes her crumple and her every attempt to fight is met with an immediate defeat.
This growing sense of insecurity is fully aggravated to something unbearable when the arrancars show up and Tatsuki, Chad, and Ichigo are all harmed and nothing she does is good enough to stop it. Not just that, but everyone seems to drift farther away from her afterwards. She knows its because they feel bad too, but it sucks. It feels like she’s lost her friends even when they’re right there, avoiding making eye contact with her.
And, I’m sure Orihime does feel jealous of the connection Rukia has with Ichigo, of her ability to make Ichigo stand up and look his fears in the eye, but that seems like the easier thing to admit than that she feels completely unimportant and useless as a person compared to someone like Rukia, who originates from the supernatural world that Orihime is struggling to navigate.
Not just that, but Rangiku is EXACTLY right. It is very human to reject those kinds of feelings or take those feelings and weaponize them in an attempt to put power over someone and therefore those feelings.
But, Orihime doesn’t do that. She is thankful to Rukia. She loves Rukia. She loves that Ichigo can depend on Rukia--that she and her friends can depend on Rukia.
She has emotional competence and strength that a lot of teenagers straight up do not have and she cries to Rangiku, convinced that she is irredeemable and weak for admitting that she wants to be more. That she wants to be grown up and graceful and strong and she doesn’t like herself compared to Rukia.
I also really like the full scope of what Rangiku says, because AGAIN, she’s right. The idea that you only need one person and that Ichigo doesn’t draw his strength from all his friends and family, isn’t true. The idea that Orihime is losing a competition and Ichigo has already chosen the winner isn’t true.
Calm down, Orihime. Keep doing your best for the people you love. Keep doing your best by Ichigo and he’ll keep doing his best for the people he loves. He’ll keep doing his best by you, too. Nothing’s been lost and nothing’s been won. You’ve seen the finish line already--death--and all you can do now keep trying to fight it.
I just really like how well they lead up to this moment, because Orihime does broadcast her feelings of insecurity, even when she dresses it up as her being silly and care-free through out the previous arc and beginning of this one. And how they execute it, as well.
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Hello my dear friend 🌟,
My name is Mahmoud Jihad, from Gaza, where all my dreams have shattered. I was studying Information Technology while caring for my sick father and younger siblings, but now, I have nothing but a flimsy tent to protect me from the cold of night. My home, my university, and everything that connected me to life have been completely destroyed, and I feel like everything has come to an end. 😢
We are living amidst indescribable destruction, and our days are fading into the depths of despair. I dream of escaping this hell with my family and returning to continue my studies, but the road ahead is blocked. Our hearts are filled with sorrow, and with each passing moment, we feel the world closing in around us. ❤️
I sincerely ask you, from the depths of my heart, to help save my family. Sharing, liking, commenting, or even a small donation could make a significant difference in our lives. Every contribution could be the glimmer of hope we've been waiting for in the darkness of this war. 😔
My campaign has been verified by @beesandwatermelons ✅ #190.
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GoFundMe link: https://gofund.me/463cbf01
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you offer. Your support could help us survive and seek a better future.🌹
Passing along 🙏. Hope this helps. Help if you can ppl.
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lonely forest pt.1
A/N: Hey guys, this is my contribution to this month’s hqhq server collab with the theme “fantasy”. This is a part one and soon there’ll be the part two but I wanted split the story at that point. Please go and check out all of the other amazing ppl in the collab!
Pairing: kitsune!Atsumu x reader
Warning: none
Summary: You and the kitsune have been friends for a long time but somehow things change and insecurities seem to hold things back.
Growing up you were never around many people, mostly kept to yourself while being surrounded by the beautiful nature near your home. And even though you haven’t had many people to keep you company as a child, you were never alone.
You used to wander around the place, exploring the world in your childlike curiosity. One day you lost yourself in the depths of the green leaves and blue painted sky. It was midday and the sun was peaking through the crowns of the trees, marbling the ground in light that distracted you from the fact that you were lost. Suddenly the clay on the ground seemed to bubble, moving into a ball and growing until it looked like a small puppet. The sight of the little creature made you giggle, your feet automatically moving closer to it but before your hands could reach it, it turned around and ran away. Surprised by the speed of the clay puppet you were determined to catch up and so you ran after it, your laughing echoing through the forest.
It was like you were playing tag with a friend, the creature always a few steps ahead but you never gave up. Your feet crushed small branches on the ground and you nearly tripped over some of the roots that worm their way through the earth. Focused on keeping the balance and running, you didn’t even realize that your new clay friend already stopped running. Halting your motions your eyes widen at the sight in front of you. The creature wasn’t alone anymore but stood right next to what seemed like to be a boy around your age. He sat on the ground, patting the clay puppet on the head, paying you no attention. What stunned you wasn’t the fact that there was a boy out of nowhere but the way he looked. He was wearing something that looked like a yukata, his orange hair decorated with fox ears, the fur in the color of his hair, and a fox tail curling on the ground.
Mesmerized by the beauty of the fox-boy you forgot about the clay puppet that you wanted to catch and as you stared at him, his gaze started to move from the creature up to you. Without a word you two were just looking into each other's eyes, his ears occasionally twitching at any sound and trying to understand the situation at hand.
“W-who are you?” Your small voice seemed to reach his ears but instead of answering your question he just cocked his head to the side. He didn’t seem too dangerous, not that you could already observe it correctly, but you still took a few steps ahead. “I am y/n, I live near the forest but I’ve never seen you before.”
You looked at his ears, they looked so fluffy and you had the urge to touch them. He saw your look and he seemed to understand it because he turned his head towards you, ears once again twitching. With a bright smile you took that invitation and started to touch his fur, the softness keeping you in a trance. “Atsumu, my name is Atsumu and I live here.” Was all he said, lips slightly curling into a smile at your touch.
So, Atsumu was his name and he was also the earth kitsune residing in the forest near your house. That would explain the appearance of the fox ears and tail. Other people might’ve thought that it would be strange to see someone like that but for you it started to become a completely normal sight.
Since that day not much has changed. You would still wander around the forest, though you knew your way around now and the destination was always the same. Your fox friend that was still living in the depths of the trees and even though you’ve invited him many times into your home it was always you coming to him. There wasn’t much that changed but the change that existed affected you gravely. You always considered him your best friend and you were his only human friend but over time you could feel how things were slowly shifting. The sight of the kitsune still made you smile like a small child but now it also made your heart pound so fast it felt like it would jump out of your chest. It might’ve been a silly feeling but something in your guts told you that he might even feel the same, which didn’t really help your heart or the blood that was always rushing into your face.
Now it was the moon that grazed the forest with its light, the night sky sprinkled with little dots that were stars and your whole surroundings were enveloped in a serene atmosphere. You sat on the ground while Atsumu had his head rested on your lap while he lay on the grass and your right hand was playing with his hair, stroking his fluffy ears. The two of you didn’t speak, just enjoying the beautiful moment while it lasted. You couldn’t help it and your eyes wandered down, looking at the kitsune and the sight always took your breath away, no matter how often you saw it. Atsumu’s eyes were closed, his soft features illuminated by the moonlight. Your eyes tried to take in every little detail, memorizing his face so you’d never forget it. The curve and length of his eyelashes touched his skin while closed, the mouth that was always slightly open when he felt relaxed, and the fair skin that always looked so cute when it flushed when he’s embarrassed.
Seeing him like that you couldn’t stop the words that were coming out of your mouth. “ ‘Tsumu, I lo-” Before you could end your sentence his hand shot up to shut your mouth, trapping your words on your tongue. Stunned by his sudden movement you just stared down at him, no attempt to remove his hand from your lips. His eyes were wide open, shining with an underlying sadness that you didn’t understand, and for the first time since you’ve met him, Atsumu looked vulnerable. “Don’t.” He told you, his voice barely above a whisper and he moved his hand back down into his lap. That’s all he said, nothing more, no explanation, nothing. In some way that hurt more than if he’d just rejected you. It felt like a rejection but at the same time, it felt like a maybe but not really. To hell, as if you’d be satisfied with just that answer.
“What do you mean?” You pressed him, your hand leaving his hair and you could see his ears twitching at the sudden loss. At your words he closed his eyes again, a sigh leaving his mouth as he tried to find the right words. “It wouldn’t be fair.” He said it with such a stern voice as if the conversation was already over for him. Maybe it was over for him but not for you, no. “Not fair? Could you please explain that more?” You weren’t just hurt by his words but anger started to arise within you, especially because it seemed like he just wanted to avoid the topic.
“It’s not fair because we could never be really together. I am a kitsune, a mythical creature that doesn’t even exist in most people’s minds! How can we be together if I shouldn’t be real?” He sat up from your lap, his back now turned to you as he tried to argue with you.
“You are real. You are real to me! And I told you many times you could just come out of the forest and visit me at my home. I told you many times how much you mean to me and it’s still not enough to be considered real?” You were fed up with his attitude. To you he was more than real, he was the person that was always there in your life and you wouldn’t want it to end. At your words he whipped his head back to you, eyes wide open as he saw the pained but also annoyed look on your face. “Of course it’s enough but it’s not what I’m talking about. I could never be the partner that you need.” It sounded like he was desperate to try and make you understand but you didn’t, well you did but it didn’t make things better.
Gathering your things you stood up from the ground and looked back down to the now panicked fox. “Atsumu, you are in no position to decide what I need and whatnot. I love you, there, I said it. Do you know what the most frustrating part is? It’s that I can somehow feel that you feel the same but if you’re too afraid to act upon your feeling then I’m sorry. I’m sorry you don’t feel like you could be a real person to the world, to me.” And with that, you left the orange-haired fox behind, with all of his thoughts and all of the memories.
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2020's finally over. Can we not go into 2021 pacifying texturism w "It's just hair" tho?
It was "just hair" until Black Women started exercising the freedom to discover the unique needs & maintenance beneficial to our hair. Then as soon as non black women got wind of it & the nerve to lurk on platforms the natural hair community was uprising thru, nowadays you've got all these non black women bandwagoning & hashtagging literally everything under the sun w/ this fake ass inclusiveness, advocacy, relatability & support for textured hair. Like all women have suffered oppression around wearing their real hair 😒. Like all races of women have been socially targeted in blatant discriminations against their hair texture, complexion, & how acceptable they are or are not together. I hate the "All Hair (Matters/Is Beautiful/Is 'Good Hair')" clout bc it talks over & totally overwrites the foundational issue around hair & toxic femininity that, at its misogynoir core, has always been that textured hair is unprofessional, unkempt, unmanageable, & ugly. Colorism also erases the initial creators of the movement — which were Monoracial Brown & Dark Skinned Black Women; put some respek onnat, period. Straight hair is not oppressed; wavy hair is not oppressed; all hair is not oppressed. Black hair is. This "all hair is good hair" bullshit is so monotonous & inconsiderate bc its almost like a passive aggressive refusal to acknowledge what antiblackness imposed on Black Women alone. None of you non black know what it's like in depth to be the descendants of a race of ppl who's features, traits & harmless existence have always been insulted, hated & envied by the whole world. Esp not all at once. That is something totally unique to us inflicted & imposed by everyone else since the beginning of time. So why be out here chasing clout under tags & movements & in spaces you are no real part of? Why wanna be a part of the Black Girl Experience that bad? Yall have identities in everything outside of us. Why vulture off of this like you even have reasons to be there? We were investing in ourselves & trying to teach generations of Monoracial Black People how to manage their hair texture & develop cathartic habits thru self care. Nb ppl ruined that.
Looser hair textures have omnipresent representation & acceptance all, over, the, world. There is no lack of being seen, romanticized or exemplified for having texture 1a-3b hair; esp on the prevalent basis around colorism we see regularly on social media & on tv. Yet what remains of the community as it stands is today the furthest thing from textured or Black at all. At this point we owe the decline (if not death) of the natural hair community to the parasitic latching of non black women, the infiltration of "pick me's" & antiblackness generally — but I still be feeling like even that's not direct enough. We're talking ab something authentic & wholesome for Monoracial Black Women created by us for us being straight up sabotaged by races of women the cause was totally irrelevant to & in regard of. Bc that's how cosmetic industries have been towards us for centuries. Bc we were always excluded & thought of least & last. By other women. By all other women; don't get it twisted. So we set out on figuring ourselves out. Doing research on our own. Incorporating self care & beneficial habits in our lives to nourish & feel better ab ourselves & disprove the racist shit non black cultures & ppl either ignorantly surmise, make up or project ab Black Girls. That includes Black Men too in case yall thought yall were safe. Yall are some of the most toxic & prevalent faces behind colorism, antiblackness & misogynoir among black ppl specifically.
But anyhow. At first a lot of the initiation of the vulturing in the nhc light skinned women were the face of. Esp w the clout around having 4c hair amongst the beige-est, most ambiguously or straight up non black individuals, good lord. Then it went mainstream for huwight ppl, whom enevitably invited themselves, & following were the masses of non black women looking to pillage for themselves while the community was being swallowed by the crowdedness & irrelevant content being put out there (specifically on YouTube, Twitter & Instagram) by "hair gurus" of the light skinned, biracial or non black texture 1a-3b variety. Hair gurus who literally may as well've fallen from the sky & met social media stardom overnight based on their hair texture & complexion alone they're so brand new. Hair gurus who aren't even in the community for legitimately informative reasons or purposes unionized in Blackness. They're whole natural hair niche be — as a favorite natural of mine put it — manipulating textured hair into a sort of submission to appear or behave like looser textures do. They'll swear by 'game changer' products they both mention & only use like once & insist you should invest in a $30 8oz. bottle of clarifying shampoo or a $35 cowash if you want your hair to behave & look like theirs. Again, mind you, these types of individuals casually claim having texture 4 hair when they're anything but, just for the attention it brings from both ppl who will gullibly follow their every word & who know what kind of scamming to look for & won't.
If it's "just hair", how come so many of you that are non black are riding the wave? If it's just hair, why have so many of you found refuge in using the hashtags & participating/contributing uninvited? How come so many ran to get a seat at the table w Black Women only to kick them to the side the more popular it became if its just hair? How come nobody was calling it natural hair before Black Women created the nhc & started growing their own? Why was there no natural hair community before Black Women coined it, reminder, for ourselves? If it's just hair, how come so many ran to youtube to begin w to start channels for their own non-textured journeys? If its just hair, why is the nhc so damn obsessed w defining curls & length than overall health & gradual growth? If its just hair, why are white girls anywhere near this? Yall are the most out of place of anyone, honestly. Even if you're curly. Why do light skinned girls get to both represent textured hair & "good hair"? How does that even make sense? Thats just putting monoracial black girls in isolated boxes they're not even allowed to be symbols of or in. If its just hair, why's it so unheard of to see the roles of Black female characters in just ab anything played by actual Black Women? If its just hair, why have so many non or partially Black women worked in ignorant succession to water down & essentially wash out the Monoracial Black Women vital to the community's relevance at all? I really do not get the involvement of non black women in this movement at all — esp when culturally you have no reason to call your hair natural. There are no & have never been prejudice notions around having or growing texture 1a-3b hair. There's nothing oppressive ab it, either. Yall have gotta stop w that. You've already made a mockery of something that was supposed to be beautiful by making yourselves comfortable in & hijacking our space itfp. Theres far too much misrepresentation of textured hair to keep up w now. This is why i say the nhc (as well as culture vulturing generally) has just become nbwoc copying white women copying light skinned women copying Black Women, bc the audacity is unreal.
Its not just hair tho. To those it applies to, yall proved that the minute Black Women started going public w their growth journeys. The minute conversations ab "shrinkage this & 4c that" broadened & went mainstream. Yall couldn't move all at once fast enough when you realized you weren't as special as you thought & had always been told — esp w melanin at its modern value. Now all yall either "natural", seeking black men for either casual sex or cultural infiltration via fetishised reproduction, certain you have texture 4 hair or know the best tips for a DIY silk press 🤭😂 yall can't sit w us. You don't belong here. I'm calling yall out on allll the bs around this "All Hair Matters" garbage, cus yall are now sputtering the same shit while literally wearing your own non black hair in black styles. Be consistent. Make some fucking sense. I don't wanna be part of this fake ass girl squad propaganda that says every other woman never looked at Black Women's hair like it was bottomest of the barrel, foh. We're not on the same team & yall know it.
#natural hair community#black tumblr#black twitter#blm#black women#protect black girls#protect black women#misogynoir#antiblackness#mixed girls#white women#cultural misappropriation#black hair#colorism#natural hair movement#textured hair#mine.txt#dark skin#texturism#culture vultures#nbwoc
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On Alexander, Angelica and Eliza
Heres some long-ass personal interpretation based on the musical that nobody following this blog signed up for lol. Not gonna be touching on history coz i’m no expert and there’re ppl way more qualified for that. and it’s good to keep things separated.
there’re obviously many similarities between the two A’s. Both are witty, outspoken, center of attention, and a bit of a flirt. To me, the most interesting trait shared by both is their awareness: They know exactly where they stand socially, and subsequently, how to play by the rules to climb up. This clear awareness is where I got the idea for the staircase drawings. “i’m a girl in a world in which my only job is to marry rich/ my father has no sons so i’m the one who has to social climb for one” is a demonstration of Angelica’s awareness, just as “As a kid in the Caribbean I wished for a war/ I knew that I was poor/ I knew it was the only way to rise up” shows Alexander’s.
it’s different for Eliza - i know as the show proceeds, she gradually becomes more ambitious and active, but in Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story, what she asks, instead of how to rise up, is: “Have I done enough?” this quiet insistence is why i always see her as someone who does things because she thinks it’s a right thing to do, no matter whether that thing in question would benefit her personally or not. sure, she gives off "cinnamon roll" vibes, but girl’s no less strong or badass than Alexander or Angelica.
More under cut coz I’m incapable of being concise:
Angelica:
what always strikes me as interesting about Angelica is the contrast of what she says vs. what she does.
In The Schuyler Sisters, the majority of her lines are about empowering women, which, I think, is where the depiction of Angelica as an angry feminist comes from in some fanfics. But in Satisfied, we see she plays squarely by the rules of patriarchy and social classes (the three fundamental truths part).
Similarly, in TSS, she says "so men say I'm intense or I'm insane", seemingly unbothered, if not lowkey proud, by these comments, but in Satisfied, she talks about the resulting gossip if she were to marry Alexander.
I saw a post which expressed that Angelica thinks like Alexander but acts like Burr, and I agree. She has a sharp mind and is unafraid to speak out, like Alexander, but she’s also got things to lose, like Burr. Having family responsibilities means that she does not, and cannot, act without restrictions and hesitations like Hamilton. She doesn't necessarily wait it out like Burr, but she does think things thru, because the important decisions she makes carry enough weight to not only affect the future of herself but also of her family.
I had mentioned in an old post that Satisfied is basically Angelica assessing cost & gain for each of the options she has, for all the parties involved. even though that song's ending has mixed feelings and it's DEFINITELY a heartbreaking song, Angelica's choice did maximize the gain for everyone at the time: She was able to maintain her bond with Alexander and married rich to ensure her material comfort. Alexander was able to marry a Schuyler and elevate his status. Eliza got the boy she loved and was happily married. She even foresaw some possible challenges the newly wed Hamiltons were likely to face (“He’ll never be satisfied”).
She knows she lives in a world of patriarchy; she isn't happy with it, but she knows how to take advantage of the system as much as she can. She knows how to be the center of attention, be charming, and appeal to ppl. She knows what kind of husband is beneficial to have. She knows how to influence politics in her own way (take a break). Part of why I found Satisfied so sad is that her mind and her heart wish for two different things. Angelica is a realist, over everything else. She can be a feminist, but definitely not an angry one.
Alexander:
I talked a bit abt him in an older post on Maria - and a lot of what I said abt Maria applies to him. If the challenge Angelica was facing is invisible societal restrictions on women, what Alexander faces is purely regarding survival. Having needed to fight and compete for resources, I imagine he's at least somewhat influenced by the philosophy of social darwinism. I also said, in the same post, that I don't think he'd be really inclined to help ppl in the same difficulty he used to be in, for the same reason. If he could make it this far with his own hard work, how would it be fair to make things easier for others now? Would those ppl even deserve their success now the bar has been lowered? It's not exactly a right way of thinking, but it's also hard to blame him. after having to compete for resource w others in order to climb up, it’s hard to change the mentality.
I've seen a music analysis (by Howard Ho on YouTube) on Hurricane, and it concludes that when Hamilton was singing that song, he wasn't exactly recalling the past - he's been mentally living in that reality and never truly left. (There's similar remarks that Hamilton's past in the Caribbean had always plagued him despite his power and position in Chernow's biography, but we're only analyzing the musical here.) He never fully turned off his survival mode.
To clarify: by survival mode, I don't literally mean he fights to survive. He didn't exactly show a strong will to survive and was quite willing to give up his life for noble causes, up until he met Eliza. What I meant is, he remembers being destitute and helpless, he remembers seeing deaths of trivial importance, so he fights to be as far away from destitution and helplessness as possible, he fights to have the opportunity to die a glorious and noble death. Because to be able to die for something matters is still a privilege. No matter how high up he rose to position, his insecurity that he may end up losing those never faded away. This raw energy, I guess, is what gradually turned the others in the musical to be more like him.
Eliza:
Eliza seems to be the one who's the most content abt their situations out of the three. After all, one of her motifs in the musical is "look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now", and the other one is “that would be enough”.
ppl usually say Helpless and Satisfied should be listened back to back (and nothing wrong with that), but comparing these two songs, Helpless doesn’t explore as much of Eliza’s character as Satisfied does Angelica. Throughout Helpless, she’s spent most of the song narrating what happened and falling head over heels for Alexander. As for her first appearance in TSS, she doesn’t have as much of a voice and show of character in comparison to Angelica, Burr, other Peggy either.
The first moment we truly see her thoughts is in That Would Be Enough. It’s also in this song, her two other motifs (”that would be enough” and “narrative”) are introduced. Unlike Alexander and Angelica at that point of story, she’s happy with her life, wants it to remain that way, and doesn’t ask for more.
i dont mean she’s not ambitious like the other two - she’s driven, but by other things. she doesn’t think of legacy, material comfort, status, position, etc. as important as Angelica and Alexander, as we can see in Burn. it’s not that she doesn’t know the rules - girl’s not playing the game at all.
unlike the two A’s, Eliza’s growth happens in the second act. Angelica’s barely in the second act, and in the same act we see Alexander’s most trusted weapon, writing, contributing to his downfall. but for Eliza, she turns from the observer in Helpless, the supporter in That Would Be Enough, to the only one on stage in Burn, and to being the center of stage in Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story. in the second act we see her going thru the series of most crushing heartaches: Reynolds Pamphlet, death of Phillip, and death of Alexander, but we also see her strength. she’s a good person, but ppl usually forget that being nice takes energy and strength too. it takes strength to support, to forgive, to mourn the passing of your loved ones, and to preserve their memories and legacy. she shines and grows after overcoming the loss and heartbreaks. Angelica says in Satisfied “she’d say 'i’m fine' but she’d be lying”, i don’t think she’s giving Eliza enough credit for her mental strength there lol.
side note: this is where i got idea for the eliza art from a few days ago - kintsugi represents the idea that your wound becomes your history and forms part of who you are, rather than something ugly to be ashamed of. I think it fits well with Eliza’s development.
Congrats! you’ve made it till the end! don’t know why u’d do that, but thanks!
if u’re reading this feel free to send me a simple art request to compensate the time u took reading my bullshit
#hamilton#alexander hamilton#hamliza#eliza schuyler#eliza hamilton#Angelica Schuyler#hamgelica#the schuyler sisters#character analysis#long post#*cough* Excuse me my lit major is showing#jades weird ideas
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