#I checked this again amd everything was out of order. but it's fix now!

[moonpie016]

I found art from August to September (maybe September) of unfinished stuff.

Soo, here ya go!

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That was going to be the Soul timeline thingy, but I never finished it. But I made another anyways.

Then we have.. I don't remember what this originally was meant to be. So Soul and Whole are just drifting off in probably space.

And some random doodles. As always.

Kinda forgot these existed.

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Warning for eye gore.

(mostly Heart related)

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I kinda want to improve in drawing idk, just unsettling stuff again. Because it used to be so prominent at times. But then it just stopped. So I forgot how to make things look just.. uncomfortable? I don't know.

Mostly in terms of gore and or horror related stuff. I miss it.

But I guess drawing people happy is more better for me. (Except in this arts instance, it wasn't because sad.)

But this is all old anyways. Eh.

But enjoy this while I go on over and try to draw without getting distracted by basically nothing. :]

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[omgwhatchloe]

MODERN AU MACSUMMERS HEADCANONS!!

sean has his drivers license and lenny doesnt, which means he owns the car they take everywhere. he has filled it with so much junk, like toolboxes, ladders, a blender, empty food wrappers, pillows etc that no one can sit in the back.

“sean you gotta clean this car out.”

“why would i do that when it doesn’t bother me? it bothers you so you do it.”

“…no.”

lenny loves to watch all kinds of movies he sees on tiktok and since sean doesnt want to be alone he will lie and watch with him. but then he gets bored and plays on his phone, climbs on lenny, complains etc

“i don’t understand this is really boring…”

“its not boring you just have to watch it to understand-”

“but its just people talking its so boring”

“sean you have to pay attention to actually get it”

“ITS BEEN ON FOR HOURS AND I DONT GET IT”

“ITS BEEN ON FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES SEAN”

similarly lenny loves to go to the theatre/cinema so he can review movies and sean loves to go with him just to be there but then ALSO GETS JUST AS BORED after eating 3 quarters of the popcorn and drinking all his slushy. he says he “needs the bathroom” but lenny knows hes going for a wander around and is glad so he isn’t bothered anymore.

“i can’t get any signal lenny”

“you dont need to be on your phone anyway”

“just checking if my da’s messaged me…”

“sean be quiet”

“this is a bit crap isn’t it?”

“no, its really well made-will you just be quiet?”

“i need a wee.”

lenny makes the foodshopping orders because sean just adds a bunch of random things he likes the look of but won’t even eat.

“i don’t think we need that much oreo cereal…”

“i like it lenny”

“you don’t even eat cereal anymore because your teeth are too sensitive!”

“well what about when jack comes round?”

“…and why would jack eat our cereal?”

sean brought home a cat once and lenny was very annoyed because he thought they didn’t need the extra responsibility. two weeks later and lenny is more obsessed with the cat than sean.

“look sean he’s asleep”

“…oh aye.”

“awwh he purrs in his sleep!”

“yeah.”

“look sean, hes laying on the blanket too!”

“…i thought you didn’t like him!”

their apartment is very small and cramped, but they love it amd don’t ever see themselves moving into a house. sean is actually quite obsessed with the interior because he wants to show his da on his next visit how nice their apartment looks. he loves to go into charity shops to see what they have for decoration.

“so today i bought this wee fella to put on the mantel piece!”

“oh…is it a buddah?”

“aye!”

“lovely!”

“and i got this lady too but i don’t know where to put her because she’s quite big-”

“IS THAT A GNOME?”

lenny works at a convenience store while doing his online courses for college. sean does jobs like fixing sinks and mowing lawns for cash. whenever he’s bored, he’ll come to see lenny at work.

“did you miss me? i’ve come to save you from this shite job!”

“yes, very much, now you need to get out of the queue.”

“can i not come behind the counter?”

“no, i’ll get in trouble.”

“can you get me something for free because you work here?”

“no sean, i’ll get in trouble.”

“i’ll go help some customers for you!”

“do you not have an apartment to be tidying?”

lenny’s gallery is just filled with screenshots of sean on facetime because he’s always pulling faces or angrily ranting. they make perfect snapchat stickers that everyone in the gang ends up stealing.

“erm lenny. why does arthur have this picture of me?”

“probably from when you facetimed him…”

“im never facetiming you again you eejit”

everyone thinks sean is more likely to get into a bar fight but its actually lenny. sean has mastered the art of ignoring stupid drunks in the club from his years of experience, but lenny 3 drinks in takes offense to EVERYTHING.

“he’s challenging me.”

“he just laughed at what you said-”

“it wasn’t even FUNNY. he is ABSOLUTELY LITERALLY challenging me!”

“oh really? and i’m absolutely literally taking you home.” 

lenny has baths that last for at least 3 hours and sean always comes wandering in to sit on the bathroom floor and talk to him. he even brings cups of tea in with him and shows lenny tiktoks.

“you know you’re sat in a puddle of your own filth?”

“oh like you everyday?”

“…your going to look like a raisin when you get out.”

“yeah, probably.”

“…”

“…”

“PLEASE JUST GET OUT ITS BEEN TWO HOURS”

“no”

[faerie-goddess]

my chronic migraine/brain trauma/ptsd timeline is actually:

infancy was spent with horrendous ear infections that led to the discovery im allergic to penicillin and my left ear suffered major ear damage, i could only hear 75% as a child, its worse now. i had to have speech therapy as it affected how i learned to speak. -ages 1-3

whacked in the head with golf club (frontal bone, left side above eye) had to get stitches - age 3

first distinct memories of having migraines - grade school

got glasses; actually remember parents, fam and doctor encouraging/hoping/praying it would fix my migraines - 3rd grade

glasses dont magically fix migraine issue, lots of going to doctor and a neurologist, tests, CT scans, diet restrictions, pills, and weekends spent in the dark with a wet rag on my head while my parents hosted parties - 4th grade

dentist realizes i will need braces but also orders removal of 8 teeth and then i had spacers :) - 4th grade also!!

neurologist told my parents good news is nothing is showing up. i dont actually have any idea what was actually concluded. i only remember stopping the medicine(s) and being told we would go back after puberty????? i think it was abandoned and assumed i would "grow out of it" - between 4th and 5th grade

"your dad has enlisted and will be going away for 3 months for basic training" - 5th grade oh yeah so that explains why it was suddenly dropped.

lots of moments with my best friend erica's family on trips spent puking in public or their car from my migraines amd calls to my parents and my sweet friend stroking my head for me. when we played pretend at sleepovers we would try old school witchcraft and even resorted to black magic to try to cure me. light as a feather but her head stiff as a board no cap - 6th grade

me to my dad one summer day in the BK drive thru: hey dad... my left hand and arm are tingly hehehe is this puberty?

dad: hold these fries we are going to the ER right now

*hours later* ER doc: ah yes what your daughter is experiencing are migraine PRE-symptoms its quite normal for those who suffer from migraines often. its like a warning bell youre about to have one. hope this helps. thank you come again. -summer before 7th grade. this was the day i realized migraines are just basically microdosing having a stroke. i realized i could have a stroke one day over age 30 and i will chalk it up to another pesky ole migraine and will die. sometimes the problems choose you. this day/revelation was a major pillar in my decision to never get pregnant. in a nutshell: my quality of life already sucks lmao fuck adding more shit to it.

"your dad and i have decided its best we are your parents separately. oh also your dad is deploying to iraq so like though separate, we are united. okay? okay." - 7th grade

rehearsed cheer routine during halftime game for junior cheer team, i was a flyer, was thrown into basket toss, wasnt caught on my way down. i remember it all. everything about that day. everything but when i blacked out when i hit the ground. coach jumped onto field running to check on me, my mother screamed "my baby my baby my baby" made a huge show. i stood up and finished routine bc i am committed. it wasnt until i was re-telling this story at age 29 to my boss that i actually had a eureka moment when boss asked me "what did the ER say after? i bet you had a concussion!!! you poor thing!" and I was like "ummm what do you mean? my mom took me home?" I blacked out after hitting the ground for an unknown amount of time, and i was not even taken to get looked at after. - 7th grade, dad was deployed so i bet he would have taken me tbh.

migraines raged on, but remained fallen to the wayside because when my parents got too wrapped up in themselves, my migraine pain was dismissed, gaslit or simply ignored. (or made fun of.) i accepted there was no fixing it anymore and had for a long time, and was committed to just ... dealing with it. especially when kicked out my fathers house the summer i graduated high school, and was then promptly without health insurance until age 28. dealing with them is all i know.

i should add my rape to the timeline. most of it i dont recall. thank fucking heavens. but because it was a huge gap in time, i should consider if i received any head trauma during as well. who knows. the alcohol addiction i fell into after most definitely damaged my brain either way. - age 19.

so yeah if you see me getting uppity with either of my parents NOW who have the fucking balls to try to tell me "why dont you try using mind over matter?" im going to say with no holds barred right back to them "let me hit your head with a golf club and you tell me if YOU can use mind over matter"

im done with their narrative of throwing up their hands and being like welp oh well what can you do??? because what i have been doing is connecting all the fucking dots in my childhood and theyre painting a very obvious picture.

my migraines have to stem from BRAIN TRAUMA right?

i have huge memory lapses in most of my childhood and thats partly from many times spent laying with migraines and also because some blocks are there on purpose. one babysitter my brother and i had was abusive. she did a lot of fucked up things that i remember and i know she did worse bc recently these memories have been resurfacing to me!!! i will only mention what i think relates to migraines: this bitch would lock all the older kids outside every single day (i was one of the older kids) for hours and never would allow us back inside for anything. i was severely dehydrated and prob suffered from mild heat strokes. i remember crying my eyes out to her husband on a harder day when he would always bring the one alotted cup of apple juice bc i hated apple juice and would wail for water. i remember and even discussed in therapy how when i told my parents this they didnt take action. but when i told my grandma the babysitter ripped my 1 year old brother off her couch holding him by just 1 arm to toss his ass on the floor THEN did we finally get told we would be going to a new babysitter. again new memories have been resurfacing but only in flashes and i k n o w i suffered abuse there. i remember trying to find words for the shit i was seeing at age 6 that i didnt know the words to yet because i was 6 that now when these memories present themselves im reminded of how bad it was.

its just beyond infuriating and frustrating now all because my parents had it in their minds i would "grow out of it" so now that we are here presently still with my migraines.... unchanging. still roaring. still chronic. (nothings changed but my routine in preventing and caring which is damn better now that i am in control as a responsible adult BTW.) now that all proof of childhood neglect is staring them in the fucking face theyre blaming me actively in the tone of "you STILL cant figure them out?" which is.... hello???????? hello?!?!!! where do i even begin with that statement....

i just wanted to make this list to remind myself it isnt all in my head.

[kyotakumrau]

2020.12.19 SENDAI GIGS 2nd slot report

...it was cold. I thought I was prepared but waiting for my turn to enter was brutal. But the venue was quite well organized with letting fans in. And they had the cutest hand sanitizer stands I've seen!!

Then, when preparing for the talk event venue staff brought 4 small high tables with chairs and placed them in a good distance from each other.

Takabayashi and Fujieda entered the stage (both wearing winter jackets xp) and the latter greeted us and asked for the applause for the band members.

Then Shinya, and after a brief moment, Toshiya entered the stage.

They sat from the right to left: Takabayashi, Shinya, Toshiya and Fujieda (MC).

Toshiya wore a beret, sunglasses, a jacket over the brown Dirt shirt. Shinya had the t-shirt for the event and black clothes otherwise. He also wore sunglasses.

They started with simple greetings and next F skipped straight to the merch items talk. He handed band members their items and asked about the particular thing about the design. Toshiya explained that back has the names of the companies they are working with/are indebted to.

F: S, what's the selling point of your minimini bottle?

S: it's really tiny and you can easily put it in your bag. It's very light so very convenient when you go out.

F brought and passed the items of other members. T got the choker.

T: oh, this is nice! Shinya, I think it'll really suit you!

S: well, I might wear it next time

T: try it on!

S: some other time. (meaning 'no, thanks' 😂)

F: what do you think about Kaoru's pouch, S?

S: it's really tiny and very convenient when you go out.

F: wait, I've heard this before.

S: and the inside is gold. I really love gold.

T (teasing): can all merch items fit inside?😆

S: picks won't fit, right?

T: they do!

S passed the pouch back to F with a serious face, he had to confirm with his own eyes.

S: oh, it's just right, even the bottle fits in.

F (put all items in): all items fit in.

S: then fans should buy all items and put them in. Ah, is the t-shirt still available?

F: actually t-shirt is included in the ticket.

S: does the t-shirt fit in?

F: that might be a bit hard.

T: take it off and try.

Ok😂

F announced they will start reading questions from fans.

T: do you have any no-no topics?

S: everything is fine.

(just what happened in the 1st slot??😂)

F: I'll continue the topic from the previous slot. Is there anything you failed at? Any mistakes?

T said S sometimes messes a song during the concert, teasing him a lot and S was trying to protest saying everyone does that sometimes, but T was having too much fun😂. But then S brought up a festival abroad where he mixed up the order of songs and it was one big mess.

S: as I made mistakes they made me drink after that

T: what am I, sake-yakuza?

😂

T: F, in Nagoya you told us about imitating S on the drums.

F told us again the story about waiting for the car in Kagawa, so he played around imitating S.

S: so which song exactly where you pretending to play?

F: the last part of Ranunculus.

And then he showed us!!! Just drumming few last notes to just finish dramatically with raising hands and leaning his head back.

Shinya was so not impressed🤣🤣🤣

F: wait, didn't you upload it on your channel?

S: I can't remember.

F: 'do you have a favourite youtuber? Or what kind of yt videos do you watch?' Do you watch youtube?

S: I do usually.

F: what channels?

S: channels about games and riddles. But also Taipi Nikki (たいぴー日記), it's a channel about cats and dogs, they upload new videos everyday.

T: I don't really watch yt. But sometimes, Ojisan no nichijo (Tamotsu Takashima おじさんの日常). very casually, like watching TV while eating etc.

Ta: 'what would you like to change in the other member?'

S: I want T to stop scaring me.

T lols so hard😆

S: for example, yesterday was snowing too, I was walking very carefully not to slip but then suddenly a push came from behind🤨

T: 🤣

F: how about you, T?

T: I want him to open his heart to the band members.

F: so you're not talking together?

T: no, he talks with us. But... he's there with us, but the atmosphere is a bit...

S: but I'm open.

F: when I was still a roadie and in a car with S we were talking quite a lot.

Ta: we don't.

S: Ta doesn't talk much.

Ta: since the YT in May we haven't spoke.

F: but when I was a roadie we did usual normal chatting and so on.

T: S, you should join in.

S: はい・I see.

...

😂

F: 'are there any songs you put a lot of confidence in when writing but now you'd prefer not to play them as they are way too difficult, have difficult parts?'

S: 90% of our songs. ...and all of Ningen wo Kaburu. How about you, F?

(oh, a come back for the imitation thing!!😆)

F: the first bit, intro in Hageshisa (he actually 'sang' the bit😆)

S: Yeah, that one is tough.

F: as a roadie I asked you once to show me how to play it. I hoped you will play it slowly so I can learn, but you just went so fast it was over in second, and just said 'that's it'.

F: saku is also hard.

T said he can just follow the music during the show so no problems (?)

T: 'tomorrow is Die's birthday, how will you celebrate? The rumor is, only Shinya sent him birthday wishes'.

T: I usually do something every year, like skype with him. ...should we do something tomorrow?

F: there are no work plans to meet.

T: ok, then I guess we will skype.

S: I always send him a message on LINE.

Ta (or T?): 'it's so cold now! Are you ok with cold? Do you prefer cold or hot weather?'

S: I can't stand cold.

T: I prefer cold. When it's hot even as you take some clothes off, it's still hot. But when it's cold you can add more layers and be okay.

can you get out of bed easily?

S: it's very hard. I can live from inside my bed, even eat there.

T: that's something.

Next they talked about some food from Nagano both T and Ta like, Kanten Papa.

T: 'if you were to change into each other, like wake up as the other one, what would you do?'

T: ...

F: imagine it's only for one day.

T: ...I thought about something baaad, lol. (then he thinks for a while) then, I would work on damaging his reputation.

🤣🤣🤣

S: would I wake up in my house? In his house?

F: let's do your house.

S: then I'd do some muscle training to see what he can actually do.

F: 'we have the rhythm section today, how much do you usually rehearse?'

T said two days (before the tour ???)

F: usually you do a proper full rehearsal with bass amd drums, while checking the score.

T: recently I do it more seriously, I didn't in the past😆

S said before Wither he remembers the songs. Marrow, UROBOROS and Unraveling he can't remember, but he remembers the rest perfectly, he could play Gauze or Macabre songs anytime.

T: do it then!

S: there's no drums.

T: play air drums!

Ta: 'what's the song you want to play the most right now?'

S: and Zero.

Ta: why?

S: it was played somewhere recently, ah on the youtube audiostream, thanks to it I remembered 'oh we have a song like that'.

T: the song(s) we're working on now. I want you all to be able to listen to it/them soon. We will be recording soon.

S: oh.

T: are you practicing them properly?

S: not yet.

😂

T: 'what would you do if you won the lottery (the special new year lottery)?'

S: how much money are we talking?

F: 1bln yen.

S: ...

F: you have nothing you want?

S: not really.

F: what about PS5? Do you have it?

S: I don't have it.

F: did you apply for it?

S: I applied in one place, but didn't win.

F: nothing, really? How about you, T?

T: if I won a lottery I'd use the money to fund COVID vaccination. Well, probably it wouldn't be enough... but with vaccination we could get back to playing concerts sooner.

F: they're working on the vaccine now, right.

T: I hope it will be done soon!

F: do you buy lottery tickets?

T: I never do.

S: same.

Ta: maybe you should try it for Shinya Channel?

(didn't catch the next bit, it was about using money, then gambling?)

F: 'to T, what sauna or onsen would you like to go to next?'

T: to sauna in Finland, like the type in a small log house in the mountains where you get to swim in the lake. I'd love to try that.

F: 'what's the idea behind your outfit, S?'

S: this event t-shirt. I wanted to encourage fans to buy it, but I learned it's part of the ticket... So the rest is just black clothes. style like going to a hair salon (or coming back from there?)

F: 'is there something you'd like to fix this year?'

T: domestic concerts.

S: nothing besides the shows.

T: 'is there anything you want to try in 2021?'

S: nothing especially for 2021.

T: nothing you thought you want to try recently?

S: how about you?

T: I'd like to become able to eat spicy food. Now, I really can't handle any level of spicy.

F told him spicy food is really amazing, especially ramen, T replied he has a place he wants to take F to.

Then F talked about the additional The World You Live In stream and invited everyone to join. And after that was time for the last comments from the band members.

Shinya: Thank you for coming in today. It is snowing right now so please be careful not to slip on your way home. Let's meet again next year.

Toshiya: It's snowing so please be careful. I'd really love to stand in front of you again, so please please wait for us. That's all I can say in this situation.

They stood up, waved and were about to leave. But then Toshiya picked up the choker and gave it to Shinya🤣🤣🤣

[thebookworm0001]

Words cannot express how much i want either a gaming laptop or a pc

Friend, I understand you completely. It’s why I saved up for a long time to build my own. Did you come here for a how-to on how to build one for yourself? Probably not! But I’m gonna tell you how anyway because it is significantly cheaper to build yourself a pc than to buy one (and laptops are even more expensive).

So! You wanna build a computer? Here’s what you need:

-Motherboard. All the things plug into this. Very Important. Do not break. When handling, touch metal beforehand so you don’t shock it with static and fry it. Comes in 3 sizes aka form factors: ATX (standard). mATX (smaller). itx (holy shit its tiny) smaller=/=cheaper! all pretty much have the same layout and all come with a manual. front panel connectors are a bitch.

-CPU. Your processor! The thing that processes all the ones and zeros into shit you actually understand. Very expensive. Very delicate. Do not drop. Needs something to keep it cool. Lots of cpus will come with a cpu fan in the box but not all. They touch the cpu with a weird paste called thermal paste that helps heat go away. Fans or liquid cooling will screw into the motherboard over the cpu.

-GPU. The most expensive part of your build, probably. If you’re building a gaming pc it’ll probably be ~1/3 of your budget. It’s the thing that makes everything pretty and visible. Gotta have a graphics card to see what the ones and zeros are doing. Two brands rule the GPU market: Nvidia and AMD. Idk if one is better than the other but I went AMD because i could get a better one for cheaper so.

-RAM. Your computer’s short-term memory. Lots of RAM means more tabs of Google Chrome open at a time. 16 gigs will get you through just about anything. 32 is generally overkill. 8 is less than you want for a dedicated gaming pc since most newer games have a higher RAM demand.

-Storage. Comes in two forms: a physical hard drive (reliable but kinda slow at this point when compared to an ssd. definitely your cheapest option) or a solid-state drive (smaller than a HD. much faster. more expensive. generally comes either as a 2.5″ brick-looking thing or a stick called an m.2 which is even more expensive and even faster) You want enough of this to store your operating system and games on. Lots of people go with a base of 1 TB (1000 gigabytes) because games take up a lot of room. 500 can get you through if your library is smaller or you don’t mind rotating games on and off the computer. can get one big storage thing or as many as you want. some people have a smaller ssd to hold the operating system and frequently used games (so they load fast) and store everything else on a much larger hd.

-Power Supply. Pretty self explanatory. The thing that powers all the other things. You want one that gives you enough power for all the parts to work at the same time at max capacity. Don’t cheap out on this they can do weird shit like explode and break all your parts. Come in three types: non-modular, semi-modular, and modular. it just determines how many power cords are permanently attached to the power supply. non-modular are cheaper, but tend to have mustard-and-ketchup colored cords (not pretty) and they can be a pain to manage. you gotta hide those extra cords you aren’t using somewhere (which is why people like cases with a ‘shroud’ or little box that hides the power supply). Modular are more expensive but it’s really nice to only plug in the cables you need. 

-Operating system. Yeah you built the computer but you gotta have a thing that lets you interact with it. Windows is the most common. You can also get it for free. Kinda. Gotta flash drive? Go here and download the windows installer, stick the usb into your new computer and BAM! Windows is installed. You’ll have a nasty watermark and be unable to put your own background on it without an activation key (~$130 for Windows 10) but you can use it.

-Case. The thing you put everything else into. Can be plain black boxes or wierd illuminati pyramid things. Make sure the size matches up with your motherboard form factor. There are these little screws called standoffs in the case that secure the motherboard to it. The standoffs have to match up or the motherboard won’t fit. Power supplies and graphics cards also have to fit inside the case - make sure it’s big enough. Those dimensions will be listed with the info for the case and the individual parts. Case can come with fans or without. (You need fans. They keep your parts from heating up - which kills them. there’s also water cooling but its more expensive and scares the heck out of me. most cases only really need the fans that come with but you can add more.)

That’s it! (well. plus a monitor and keyboard and mouse and speakers/headphones but those aren’t the computer. also optional: rgb - the fun lights that make your case look like a unicorn barfed inside it. can be part of your fans or just strips of lights. lots of gaming motherboards have rgb built in. i like rgb.)

Sites like https://pcpartpicker.com/ will help you figure out the parts you need and if they’re compatible. Because it sucks to buy your parts and realize they don’t go together. The big ones? Motherboard and cpu. CPUs are generally made by either Intel or AMD. Currently, AMD is the best bang for your buck. Motherboards are designed to work with one brand of cpu - and generally specific chipsets. Motherboards will tell you the chipsets or series they work with (eg a 3000 series chipset which means it can work with any ryzen 3000 cpu like a Ryzen 5 3600 or 9 3900x). Motherboards will also only work with specific RAM depending on your CPU. There’s a support page on their sites that gives cpu and ram compatibility. RAM support pages show up like this:

which sucks (this is for the B550M AORUS ELITE (rev. 1.0) board from Gigabyte)

just google that module pin and the right shit will pop up. that first one is the  VENGEANCE® LPX 32GB (4 x 8GB) DDR4 DRAM 4000MHz C19 Memory Kit - Red (aka corsair’s vengence lpx line of ram with 4 8gb sticks of ram that run at 4000 megahertz in a fancy red case - you can see all that info in the pin number if you pay attention but its easier to google. the faster the ram [that MHz number] the more expensive. the more gigabytes the more expensive. ram also comes with rgb options. they are more expensive.)

Always makes sure stuff is compatible. Pcpartpicker will tell you if something isn’t. It’s very helpful. but also check the motherboard support lists. nothing else has compatibility issues generally: manufacturers want you to be able to use whatever parts you can get with their stuff so you keep buying from them.

sites like https://benchmarks.ul.com/ https://www.gpucheck.com/ and https://www.userbenchmark.com/ are great for comparing. wanna know if you can get a cheaper part that works just as well? go to these places. 

benchmarks.ul

gpucheck (RX Vega 56 vs AMD Radeon Rx 5600 xt)

userbenchmark (Jedi: Fallen Order recommended parts vs my own build)

Newegg.com is a really great place to buy your parts and it usually has the cheapest prices. Make sure to shop around though. pcpartspicker is pretty good about telling you where the best prices are, but sometimes amazon or newegg will drop their prices randomly. also with the plague times, prices and availability are fucking weird right now. stuff will be out of stock for weeks. just. pay attention and check frequently.

I really like this video for trying to figure out budgets. Only have $300 to spend? They got you. Have $3000? They’ve got a guide for that as well. There’s a ton of budget build guides out there but this is the most recent one I like. Motherboard prices could be down a bit due to the very recent release of the b550 chipset, but again, plague times are making computer parts more expensive. That channel has a ton of reviews actually (and step-by-step guides for building) and is geared toward the gaming-minded so if they say a laptop or prebuilt computer is good and fits your budget, check it out. Prebuilts make life easier for you, but you can end up getting a less-than-stellar quality with the additional cost of construction. plus building your own means you know exactly what to do when it comes time to upgrade your parts. 

once you put everything where it should go, turn it on! it might not work, that’s okay. you might not have plugged something in all the way! or maybe a part was dead on arrival. get that fixed and install your operating system. once that’s done - get connected to the internets (if you don’t have a wifi card installed you gotta plug that sucker into the wall via an ethernet cable) and start downloading drivers from the motherboard manufacturer’s website and the gpu manufacturer’s website. your motherboard might come with a dvd of them but if you don’t have an optical drive (dvd player) that doesn’t help you. update your operating system. then download your games and play! (you can also do this thing called overclocking where you go into the bios when your computer is loading and max out all your hardware’s settings but that isn’t necessary for casual gameplay and can also void your warranties)

i hope you enjoyed that infodump you didn’t ask for!

[im-tops-bottom]

Steve breaks up with Tony after finding out Bucky is still alive.

Steve fights everyone to save a soldier that didn't want to return. Goes against the accords. Starts an argument with Tony after Tony fixes Bucky's arm up and puts him through BARF and then proceeds to be happy and smug as he is not only reunited with returned memories winter soldier but also with the love they once shared. After everything Steve and Bucky take down Tony in Hydras Siberian bunker.

After a month of thinking Tony just went off the grid, something doesn't sit well with the rogues so they return to the compound to find that there is a search and rescue operation for Tony. Even though everyone that sided with tony are pissed at they rogues they needed more hands on deck.

They visit the Siberian bunker which was the last place they saw Tony. The find the suit there but not the man. They find a kidnapped genius in the arms of Madame Hydra who relocated in Germany.

Turns out Hydra kidnapped him so they can make a time machine to go back in time and stop Captain America from destroying Red Skull and stopping his plan.

They fight tooth and nail to get Tony back. When they do Madame Hydra activates the time machine. Tony, Bucky and Steve make a run for her and managed to stop her from entering. Bucky had thrown her across the room. Bright light surrounds everyone in the room and the next thimg the 3 know is that they have gone back to the 40s.

Tony manages to find a hideout in an old abandoned building for the 3. He knows they will be there for awhile as he needs to gather together enough parts to make a somewhat descent time machine. He tells the two to stay put amd make sure they don't run into themselves while Tony is gone. He walks out ignoring Steve calling out to him.

It only takes a week for everything to fuck up. Tony gets beaten up in an alley and is saved by a short skinny Steve and a tall not too bulky but still muscular Bucky. A day later because he refused to seek treatment and gets sick, he accidentally blurts out how he is from the future and he has their older versions hiding out in a safehouse. While in his sick state he also flirts with Bucky.

Once he wakes up and finds he's not sick anymore, he looks up to find an annoyed Winter Soldier and Steve standing at rhe foot of a makeshift bed glaring down at him while a sheepish Steve and a smug Bucky stand by the doorway.

He groans as he let's out a "please tell me I did not just flirt with James Barnes. Please tell me it's just a dream."

"no can do princess"

"how did I get here?"

"in your sickly state you walked in the rain all the way here. Almost got lost but kept saying you needed to fix a soldiers arm. We followed you to make sure you were alright. We didn't believe you then but now I can say that i am officially creeped out."

"amd why am I laying here with two grumpy super soldiers staring at me like they want nothing more than to tie me down and make sure I never leave this place?"

"give Bucky half a chance and he just might do that"

"not now Stevie"

"fuck my life"

Tony sits up and accepts a glass of water and food from the younger Bucky before staring at all 4 of them.

"okay so stars and stripes is gonna be Cap, pipsqueak's is gonna be Rogers, 4 seasons is gonna be Bucky while his flirty self is gonna be James. How is this my life right now"

It takes 2 more weeks to find out that no, not only is this a time machine but it had sent them to a different universe. One where pipsqueak is in love and dating Peggy Carter, James is a playboy, Howard lost his sons Tony and arno a year ago and they are officially fucked.

While Bucky and his Winter counterpart that sits in the back of his mind trying to figure out what makes Tony so special that Steve still wants him back even though he said that he still loves Bucky and would do anything for him, Steve is trying to keep a flirty Tony away from an equally flirty James Barnes and it's not planning out well.

Bucky sees what Steve sees throughout an entire week. Tony even when angry still treats the super soldiers with respect and makes sure that Bucky is alright while sort of keeping away from Steve. He is careful with the pipsqueak Steve and makes a special inhaler that works twice as better for his asthma and always checks in with Steve when Peggy isn't there for him. Even though the younger Bucky hasn't gone through the Trauma the winter soldier has gone through, he always treads carefully around the other man while maintaining his flirty charm. Bucky sees that no matter what bad things happen, Tony gets back up after learning his lesson amd keeps on fighting. He's caring and thoughtful and holy cow Bucky thinks he might be falling in love.

Well not might be, he definitely has and oh boy is jealousy kicking up a fuss. After a day of working he hits the showers. Once done he hears noises and goes to check it out. The corridor that leads down to a bunch od empty rooms as well as Tony's because he wants to be left alone is lit up just enough for Bucky to see that Tony amd his younger self are arguing.

"no seriously you don't want to go there with me. I'm double your age fpr crying out loud. I have baggage among baggage of problems that i don't want to get into. Seriously James just no"

"what are you afraid of? That I would do exactly what your Steve did to you? Cuz I won't. Oh don't give me that look gorgeous, i just worked my charm and talked Steve into telling me everything about you. I know hr doesn't like me but he likes you enough tp go on an excited little journey."

"shut it tall, dark and handsome. You don't wanna open that can of worms"

"oh but I do because your Steve seems so inclined on trying to keep me away from you"

"he's what?"

"everyone knew. That's why my Stevie is always around. To make sure you or me don't get hurt"

"he doesn't like me like that. He thought he did but gave it up for your winter soldier look a like."

"well since you are so sure why don't you just let me in"

"ugh god you are annoying"

Bucky clenches his hand as he watches a chuckling smirking James Barnes corner Tony against the wall. James grabs Tonys hands and pushes them above Tony's head before leaning down.

"since Steve told me to stay away from you because your his, why don't we go amd break his rules. Let me have you Tony. All of you. Fuck Steve"

Bucky feels something in him shatter as he hears Tony breathe out a "your right. Fuck Steve" before letting James lean down and kiss him. It's not until clothes are off and Tony's legs are wrapped around James' waist is when Bucky turns around and walks away. He decides to that he is gonna tell Steve his new feelings and what he saw.

The next day onwards, Bucky and Steve do whatever they can to make sure Tony and James aren't alone. They don't trust little Stevie so they still stick around when he is there as well. This annoys Tony and James to no end.

One night, after everyone goes to sleep, Tony sneaks out and heads over to Steve and James's building. God Tony loves Brooklyn. He smiles as he knocks on the door. Peggy answers it and ushers Tony inside and sends him of to James's room. As soon as enters he's pushed up and against the door. In a matter of seconds all clothes are off and Tony is being pounded into by James. They go at it, making sure they keep quiet right up until the sun comes up. The two cuddle and fall asleep with smiles on their faces.

Tony is woken up hours later by a shouting match. He sits up as he notices james isn't next to him. After a minute or two, the door slams open and Tony groans as his Steve and Bucky barge in like they own the place....okay so they technically do but that's besides the point.

"Tony get up and get dressed. We are leaving"

"okay first of all I don't take orders from you Cap. Second of all why the fuck would i follow you?"

"we tracked down your father early this morning, explained the situation and not only does he want to meet you but he has already started building the machine you so reluctantly want to build"

Tony doesn't give a flying fuck that he is naked. He hops out of bed and glares at the soldiers.

"what in the actual fuck Steve! Going behind my back once again"

"like what you did to us last night?"

"fuck you winter wonderland!"

"fun's over. Tony get your clothes on. We are leaving right now"

Tony stares at James from behind them and they have a silent conversation. Afterwards James reluctantly nods and Tony sighs. They don't even notice that Steve and Bucky have been watching.

"god i hate you so much. Fine. Im getting dressed"

"shower first and then dressed"

Tony raises a brow at his Bucky in confusion. He goes with it anyway as he wonders why the soldier said that.

"fine. Shower first and then the clothes come on. Wait for me in the kitchen"

Tony watches Steve turn around and drag both Bucky's with him before he closes the door and heads to the bathroom for a shower.

After a couple of minutes he jolts as he feels hands on his hips. He raises his head amd a brow in question.

"I told your two stalkers that i had to grab some things for my Stevie and Peggy. I jumped through the bedroom window"

Tony giggles as he turns around amd brings James down for a kiss. Things get heated in the cold shower and James ends up fucking tony against the wall. Awhile later James puts on the clothes he wore before and headed out the window.

"wait"

James held himself up on the windowsill. Tony heads over and kisses James causing both of them to smile.

James says "we know where each other stays. We'll make it work" before winking and jumping out the window.

Tony let's out a content sigh before closing the window amd getting changed. He walks out smiling as he heads to the kitchen where he makes himself some shitty coffee and something to eat, ignoring the Soldiers questioning looks. Turns out that Tony was wearing one of James shirts and smiles a bit more as he eats.

When the 3 get back to the hideout, Bucky tells Tony to get changed into his own clothes and then pack. Tony glares and in retaliation packs his clothes amd keeps James' clothes on. He stomps outside placing his stuff in the old car they managed to steal amd sits in the back while tge soldiers pack everything else up. There's not much stuff that needs to be packed but it fills the boot and either side of Tony because he decides to sit In the middle that has no seatbelts. Steve just shakes his head and rides shotgun while a pissed Bucky starts the engine.

They head to Stark Manor and Tony makes sure to stay professional but he can't because Steve tells him there is plenty of security and Bucky says that they will know if tony leaves and he isn't allowed to see James or his friends again. Tony is down right pissed off but holds it in as he meets Howard and Maria Stark. A plan formulates in his head and he hides it behind a smile as he starts chatting away. He ignores Steve and Bucky's suspicious looks in favor of trying to get Howard on to his side which is fairly easy because this one is nothing lkke his real shitty father. This Howard even apologizes on behalf of his one which is a surprise because Howard never apologized.

A month of building the machine that will get him home, Tony tells Howard to group up a couple of people that he is happy to assist witj (becaise he knows exactly who they are) amd create a super solider serum that was used for a war ("how are you guys not in the middle of a war? I guess my universe is just stupid"). He even gives him names of 2 people who would benefit from this as well.

A week later Steve and Bucky are pissed when a smug Tony drags in their younger counterparts with Howard behind them. Howard tells the soldiers what he's gonna do and how the two along with Peggy are gonna be staying in the manor. The two soldiers groan as they once again have to keep Tony away from these guys which is hard because howard requires them as he wants to study their blood and run through some questions.

The next night Bucky heads to the kitchen to grab a drink when jealousy rears it's ugly head. He looks out a large window as a giggling Tony is being chased around by an equally giggly James in the rain while Steve and Peggy chat under some shelter. He growls as he sees James Catch Tony amd start tickling him. He feels and hears Steve's growly presence as they watch James pick a squealing Tony up and spin around. After a couple of spins Tony leans down and kisses James.

Steve slams his fist onto the bench. He tells Bucky to drag them inside before they get sick and heads down to the lab to see if he can talk Howard into building their machine faster.

It takes one more month before Howard and Tony create a machine to get the 3 lost warriors home and a machine to turn alt Steve and Bucky into Super Soldiers.

Steve and Bucky have it all planned out. They knew Tony wasn't going to tell them about the machine so they asked Howard. They tell Howard and his team to test the serum first. While the younger ones are in the machines set up for them and have been activated, steve nods towards Bucky. Ignoring everyones screams of shock, Bucky activates the time/universe jumping machine amd watches as Steve throws Tony over his shoulder amd they jump through the ! machine.

They are sent back to their time and universe which is great for Steve and Bucky. Not so great for the crying and screaming Tony that's mashed between the two. They hold Tony place as he screams out how he wants to go back. They don't let him.

2 years later Tony looks up in shock as a bright light surrounds him before disappearing, leaving a smirking buffed up James Barnes. James smiles happily before staring Tony directly in the eye.

"I finally found you. I've come to bring you home"

Within those two years the two original super soldiers have had no luck trying to win over Tony. They make sure that none kf Tony's dates comes back for more. They are protect amd possessive over him.

As they head down to Tony's workshop they become jealous angry people who are yelling at Tony to get back there and stay put. They don't grab Tony in time and see red as a smirking James drags Tony through the machine.

Tony's life becomes a cat and mouse from then on. He bounces around between both universes. 2 obsessive soldiers kidnap him and bring him back to his og universe while his boyfriend saves him and takes him back to where he wants to be. It's a hard life but for him it's totally worth it

[crypterion-moon]

The Vestiges of humanity

Summary: There’s a world where everything looks normal on the outside but it hides horrors amd mysteries beyond human capabilities. This earth teams with ordinary humans, protected by superpowered heroes. But there are those who will discover the truth on the shadowy corners just out of reach, and ascend.

Kon loves Tim, there’s no doubt about it, but the passage of time has not been kind to their relationship and Tim has at last made his decision. It’s time Kon knew the truth.

When Kon comes home, he is usually greeted by a clingy Tim. And he loves every second of it. Tim hated it when he left for something as massive as a mass monster take down, after spending most of the day nursing Kon back to health the last time he got called on one like this. Thankfully, today, he manages to get away with a few scrapes and that’s it. Tim would be pleased but today Tim wasn’t at the door. Tim rarely attended now, preferring to work behind the scene the way Bab's keeps tabs on Gotham. It was like she had eyes all over Gotham and Kon found that Tim was just as skilled as she was. But he missed having his boyfriend out on the field with him but Tim seemed so reluctant to go out, nearly shaking at the thought of it. Like he was sure something would go wrong if he was there. No amount of reassurance would convince him otherwise, though it was strange, like with everything else, Kon accepted it graciously and Tim made his appreciation apparent.

“Tim?” he called out, kicking off his shoes, Tim hated it when he trecked dirt into the apartment, he was beyond a clean freak, like dirt and mud terrified him. It was kind of amusing to see a grown man like him scolding Kon while furiously scrubbing away at the floors and walls like a madwoman in pink gloves. Right now, he needed a shower after that literal monster bash, he'd cleared off most of the slime but he’s pretty sure he smells like a trainwreck and Tim would tell him for sure. But first-

“Tim, I’m home.”

He better not be in one of his bad moods, Kon thought, whether it be a failed case or a mission gone wrong or just lack of coffee, once it starts, it’s nearly the hardest thing to deal with, making Tim come out of his downs was nearly as bad as beating down an alien army invasion. It had been getting a bit worse lately. Tim had been down in the dumps more oft. More distant, gazing out over the sky and city, transfixed and sad. He'd come back down though, nearly after a few hours and apologize to Kon repeatedly. Kon had chalked it up to his broken childhood and his time at the Waynes, though he's not sure what they did, it seemed to have affected him psychologically, but Tim always said they were kind, kinder than anyone he'd asked help from before, then fell silent after that. Unnerving, and he had his suspicions but Kon was sure he'd come clean eventually.

He stepped past the kitchen and into the second hallway.Sometimes, Tim would be trying to cook, unsuccessfuly, somehow it always resulted in some kind of unidentifiable pile of goo. It took a whole load of willpower for Kon not to crack a smile much less laugh while Tim pouted at his latest culinary failure. In all honesty, Kon was no better, so if they didn’t have one of Alfred’s special drop-offs, they’d order take out. Tim could eat a horse that’s for sure which shocked and awed Kon to no end with how Tiny Tim could keep his name. Speaking of which, he'd barely heard from the old man recently, something about having to tend to his family, not that he had ever seen them. Gotham was a strange place and everytime he'd tried to ask Dick about it, he'd grit his teeth and say it wasn't anything he needed to know. Kon was sure he was lying because he was raised by Alfred with the Waynes in Gotham but he seemed intent on keeping quiet about it.

“Tim?”

Where is he? This places wasn’t huge, not like the Wayne manor or the Tower, Tim must have surely heard him. Kon was almost sure Tim isn’t listening then, he already has a list of things prepared to make Tim feel better, including the most indulgent coffee he knows how to make and marshmallows, probably his tenth cup in a day but Kon wasn't about to question his tolerance. But he’s searched nearly every room now, their bedroom, the bathroom and the little office Tim had carved out for himself to work in. There weren’t that many places to hide so where could he be? He couldn’t have gone out could he? Kon tries to call his boyfriend’s cell. It rings from the bedroom, the same generic ringtone modified ‘to parody his life’ as Tim described it.

He didn’t take his phone, that’s odd. There’s a heavy feeling now, Kon could feel it setting in his stomach. His mind began to run through all the possibilites in his head the way Tim always does. Tim and his uncanny ability to project ahead, always steps ahead. The first thing that popped into his mind then was, someone had broken in. He’s scared for Tim. He shouldn't be Tim can take care of himself but he's more fragile than Kon at the same time.

“Tim, Tim, where are you?” he called out repeatedly, “Tim?”

The phone was still ringing, his call hadn’t been disconnected yet even though, the phone usually auto disconnects a few seconds after an attempt, but he doesn’t care about that. The sound of Tim’s phone itself was holding him together as he went over every nook and cranny even impossible spaces he knew Tim would find away to squeeze into, he doesn’t notice as it changes slowly, distorts. Until he finally did and it’s glaring now. It’l like someone made a music box out of the ringtone and then ran it over and over again until it broke and rusted over, the noise was now terrifying. Something that sounded like a groan could be heard between the twisted notes. He disconnected but it didn’t stop, so Kon rushed into the bedroom, find the phone and make it stop, make it stop, the parody was turning into a nightmare.

He stopped in his tracks, just in the doorway. Tim is there, standing on the other side of the room, on the other side of the bed, his back was turned to Kon. Looking out of the window. Tim wasn’t there a minute ago, Kon checked.

“Hey Kon.” His voice made him real, made him there even if it made no sense at all, and that was all Kon cared about for the moment.

“Tim, my god I thought…”

“I’m sorry, I heard you but I…” Tim turned around, he looked so sad, his eyes blue, so blue, more than any other time Kon had the pleasure of staring into. Tim looked away for a moment then turned back to Kon.

“I wasn’t ready.”

“What’s wrong, Tim, tell me what’s bothering you, you can tell me anything.”

"Can I Kon?"

"Of course you can, you need to get whatever it is off your chest to feel better."

Tim smiled, but it was a sad one, “You always make me feel better, but I can’t make you feel better.”

“No, that’s not true, just seeing you makes my whole world light up. I can spend a whole week fighting slimes aliens, covered to toe in crap but just hearing your voice makes me feel I can keep going, even if it’s you scolding me for trekking dirt into our apartment again.”

Tim chuckled a little, but it’s enough to make Kon grin. He reached out, Tim would probably kill him later but he wanted nothing more than to hold Tim, feel him in his arms. Tim’s smile drops.

“I can’t Kon, today is the last,” Tim said, the sun setting behind him, it would be beautiful if only Tim could smile.

“Sorry about the ringtone, I fixed it so it would remind me.”

“Remind you of what?”

“Of today.”

“What’s going on, Tim?” Kon swallowed the lump in his throat, something feels wrong, so, so wrong.

“I wanted to tell you sooner, I wanted it to last longer, to be human again.”

Kon is stunned, the words coming out of his mouth made no sense, even though they were English, the meaning behind them was jumbled and out of context, and quite frankly it was freaking him out. Tim was the one who moved closer, around the bed to face Kon.

“I never was what you thought I was, Kon, maybe at one point I, but that…was a long time ago. Today, is the last day I get to enjoy that with you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“After tonight, I’ll be gone, you won’t see me ever again, and you never will want to, you shouldn’t.”

It was like a gut-punch, like Tim’s gut-punches but worse because he felt it in his mind, his words, his heart. But it made no sense, Tim, the logical one was making no sense.

“Tim…” Kon would’ve reached out, he was so close but Tim got to him first, wrapping his arms around him suddenly, embracing Kon like his life depended on it. Holding him in a dying man’s grip.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” Tim whispered feverishly until his voice was so low no human would’ve heard the next words he was saying, and those words frightened Kon so much he nearly threw Tim to the ground. Instead, he gets his hands on Tim’s arms and held him back, to stare into his eyes. He doesn’t believe it. Not one second of it.

“It’s already coming to an end isn’t it?”

“Tim…”

"Cover your ears, Kon."

The man he loves took a step back, takes another and another, his arm is still outstretched brushing along Kon’s as he moved away, until he’s so far back the already dimming sun could barely reach him. Those blue eyes were shining, shining so brightly. Tim, Tim, Ti- Uro- Tima-sh….

Tim stopped him, “Don't say, don't say that name, please.” Blue tears falling, "Please Kon, look away."

He doesn't instead, he watched the man before him fall apart, literally. What should’ve been his silhouette expands and writhes, he could still see Tim’s face. Those sad, sad eyes, crying out a siren song, dying bird, leading trails of screams that should never be followed, one that should never be seen or mentioned. The bounadaries of his mind creaked and groaned like a dam against the unending black around him, the whispers that echoed around like a chant.

<i>Let the sleeper awaken, and eternity take place...return, return, return, tear the veil...Sleep unto death...death unto eternity, no witness, out of sight...don't listen...cover your eyes, ears...look away...look away...</i>

"LOOK AWAY!"

Those words came out in an inhuman shriek that in all of his years of fighting monsters, nothing was more terrifying, like claws and nails raking across iron and rust and glass, loud and piercing, and Kon was forced to screw his eyes shut, the terror now bending his mind like a reed. But shutting his eyes didn't make it any less, as the sounds that reached his ears now had no substance to it, nothing solid to ground or makes sense to them, he tried to cover his ears to no avail and he cursed his superhuman hearing. Only Tim's voice carried him through, what humanity was left in it.

“Thank you, for letting me come back down, to be human even just a lttle while, I’ll never forget you,” Tim’s voice…was changed, “One day, I will carve your name and you will forever remain.”

He struggled with the last human words he could muster, “I love you.”

He shouldn't be able to see with his eyes shut tight, but he could. So many eyes, so many many eyes, yet none of them were looking straight at him, they looked outward and at nothing and everything. The deafening beating of a heart echoed around Kon and the all consuming darkness, he realized was not night, it was just, dark. Gotham is a dark, dark place.

He wanted to curl up, and shut down, but the words, Tim’s voice came together in a twisted melody, that horrible horrible distorted ringtone was going again, adding fuel to the nightmare. When he finally opened his eyes, the lights had flickered on and it was eight in the evening, Tim's phone still ringing with that dumb sounding jingle he'd loved so much.

[theintrovertedspiritualist]

“I'm angry all the time... what's happening with me?

How can I stop this?😔”

- Sage

- Eat meals regularly

- Deep breathing

- Calm.....go detox yourself. Get into a salt water bath..a candle and eye patch for both eyes. Lie back till your ears are covered...and focus on your breathing..slow in...slow out. Should be as dark as possible..just float...

- root chakra problems maybe? try some grounding exercises :)

- Meditation 🧘🏾‍♀️

- Be still with yourself. Write down what you need in relationships (intimate, friend, family, work, etc) then, identify where the gaps are. Also, explore what in life you feel forced to do. Start from those answers, and make shifts accordingly. Ask your Angel's to help you harmoniously align to your higher self.

- You may be taking on someone close's energy and May just need to simply get back in nature and ground more. Walk barefoot in the dirt, walk barefoot in the ocean or a lake, heavy epson salted warm bath with visualization of the negative angry energy going down the drain techniques when showering

- Anger is a result of pain, past and present. Identify the cause of the pain. Address it , maybe in therapy, support group or with someone you feel comfortable and safe with and will be totally honest with you. Be gentle with yourself and be patient with the process .

- I have felt this lately and I worked with my selenite yesterday and I feel soooooo much better!

- Is there something going on that you feel you have no control over. Maybe you wish some would be a certain way or say things differently. I usually get this way when I become overwhelmed by others. I always react and take on things when really its not going to change a thing. Im learning to practice the pause. Pause and think if this is something that really needs all this attention. If not then try to breathe and let it go.

- For thw sake of processing/growth: Learn about primary & secondary emotions, get to the root cause

- Unhealed trauma. Try to dig a bit deeper and see what's really going on that disturbs your inner being 🌟🙏

- There could be some unresolved childhood trauma that you're neglecting or perhaps you bury your emotions and thoughts and do not have a healthy way of releasing them. My suggestion is finding an outlet to release the negative energy. Writing in a journal, kickboxing, yoga, hiking, working out at the gym, etc. It's good to find things that help release your endorphins and serotonin & dopamine....a.k.a "feel good" hormones. And if you need anyone to talk to, Im sure many of us on here (myself included) are more than willing to lend a listening ear. Sometimes venting lifts the weight off of your chest that you didn't realize you had. Sending you love ♡

- Anger is a symptom of something deeper. It could be something you've suppressed a long time that is trying to reveal itself to allow you to heal. Or something happening now, that you try to suppress so as not to speak the truth and harm a relationship or someone's feelings. The best way to heal that symptom is to find its cause and address that issue. Our emotions are always signs to whether our spirit is happy with our path. Once you find the cause, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is the answer I found to clear the roots. I hope this helps. Don't ignore it or give it simple cover-ups, because eventually you will need to face the cause. Otherwise, it can drain away your chances for true happiness. I'm not preaching, but sharing from experience. Sending love!

- What helps me with anger is writing down everything I am angry about it and then Burn the paper and Let it go..and Wine LOL

- Check your surroundings. The company you be around. If they are unhappy you maybe be feeling there negative energy

- Release the anger in race... go speak ure truth... wright it down destroy something.. because if you calm.. it will pop up again and again.. ask ureself where does this anger come.from 🍀🍀🍀🍀

-Here too. The eclipse combined with the new moon is causing intense emotions. However with 2020 approaching, we need to allow these emotions to bubble up and resolve them asap. If not I am seeing a whirlpool of drowning and severe consequences.

- Let’s take a check in our lives, what dream are you letting go, what is that thing that is making you feel this way, is it a person, is it something that you need to do to better your relationship with yourself, it could also be that you may have forgotten of yourself and haven’t had time to do something just for yourself, look inside and you’ll see what is making you feel this way and whatever it is you start making fixes to it at your own pace.

- USE YOUR LEFT HAND MORE For Daily Activities .... It's Mellows You Out So Much You won't Notice .

- Gotta take time. Address what's hurting you 🙏🏾 then fix your face 💪🏾 and go do something good natured that makes you smile, practice, until it's all better...so they say. Good luck 🖤

- What do you do to discharge the emotions you take from others? What media are you absorbing? I noticed the more negative and depressing things I watched or read, the less I was able to clear myself and my emotions. I stick to happier things, cartoons, love stories, up beat songs. Things like that

- who, and what, are you really mad at, and about? your self?

- Not sure of your eating habits or anything else so let me assume. Fast food amd some restuarants have food loaded with hormones and antibiotics. Just think of ppl coming off steroids with their hormonal imbalance makes them angry. Same thing with toxic food that's overloaded with hormones and GMO foods. First thing to do is always find a clean source of Food Water and Air to detox. Second thing I suggest is to not watch anything political or even religious as ALL POLITICAL AND RELIGIOUS based media is (FEAR DRIVEN) stay away from smokers... Make love to your man. Yall look like the perfect couple. And last thing and most importantly......RUN. Run every day until you can run 5 miles a day. Running is the only exercise that will help you balance your emotions to such a level.. if you do absolutely everything I stated then you will feel the change. I promise that.

- I was literally they a few months ago. I embraced who I needed to be in that moment. I'm still not the same, but are we ever the same as we used to be? Good luck.

- Your ego is injured - Ask why?

- Eclipse season. Identify your feelings. Are they yours? Nurture mind, body and spirit. Sage yourself and your surroundings, drink water, exercise, yoga, meditation, spend time with nature, ground yourself, work on your energy through visualization, etc. It is time for letting go. What are you holding onto? Is it worth carrying all that around? Work on yourself and connect to your higher self. Have you ever been in love? That is how you should feel about yourself. There is a novel I can write here but I won't. Hope this helps. 🤞❤️🙏

- We encourage each to attempt in all relationships to move from a point of fourth-density love, acceptance, forgiveness and willingness to move on. That is the pattern of learning, not to linger too long in negative emotions but, rather, to honor that negative emotion whenever it arises, to sit with it as long as it needs to be sat with in order to be accepted, in order to feel that it has been honored. And then, when it has been honored and there has come a peace and a balance and some small understanding, it is time to say, “Amen. I am sorry. I begin again.” And let mistakes be mistakes, but stay in the light and the love of the one infinite Creator while you make the mistake, and, after you make the mistake, allow yourself your own love rather than your judgment. For judge and grasp the lesson you certainly will, but then it is time to release that.

- This is so random, but wheat and gluten do this to me.

- recognising what triggers you

- Ilona someone is angry because others have push their buttons. The answer is to respond not to react. And when you have expectation that doesn't go your way you are frustrated and become angry. What are these trying to tell you? You cannot change what is out there and what you cannot control, but can change the way you react to it. It's within you. Stop trying to control everything and free yourself from expectation as it always brings disappointment. Change the way you see things. Be peaceful and let go. ❤

- What helps me is remembering to not be so hard on myself and let loose a bit. Go out and have a ball!! Have fun and do something you love! :)

- If you’re angry address it head on. It will eat away at you. Anger is destructive because until you find an outlet for it (exercise meditation etc) or your calmly confront who or what is causing it you will feel worse.

- You react to the energies around you. Observe.

- Observe your triggers. Change the pattern change the result. Question yourself so as to know yourself. The two wolves battling inside you have the same name. Anger is sometimes necessary, yet irrationally being angry to aviod accountability & release via taking it out on innocents is detrimental to you as well as others & over all environment. You are not seperate from the air you breathe. Now anger can be fuel to better yourself, yours as well as others over all circumstances via being driven to change ones detrimental patterns. I suggest searching it honestly in a bit of seclusion by changing environment. Often it is sign of underlying unhealed traumas. Truly sometimes we never heal those deep ones, we just develop radar so to speak to avoid dashing apart upon lifes shallow reefs. Anger is often a forgivable offense towards yourself and others. Most cases all that is needed is to distance yourself so as gain another vatage point. Change of perspective can be miraculous honestly. It's your mind, change it. Attempting to smile still releases chemicals that make you happy. Above all else focus on breathing. That's all one can really do to overcone most issues. Neuroplasticity, change a pattern change the result. Physics

- Time for a change

- Be angry. Go out into nature and let your anger out. Talk to God, to loved ones unpresent. Be honest. Scream. Stop judging yourself for being angry. Anger is beautiful when you don’t withhold it. It is vulnerable to actually express it instead of false anger known as blame. Blame is not anger. Blame seeks to hold on to anger rather than let it release. It is not going far enough, using self judgment to control it rather than self awareness and properly parenting your inner child.

- change your thought, can change your mind. say 2 yr self 100 times everyday LOVE LoVE LOVE ✌✌💚💚💚

- Breathe .. take time to nuture only you .. journal ir relax.. laugh .. whatever Bec .. yin/ yang describe different ways reminds dark light so . Go flow be and take kick boxing

- You have to address the root cause. It will be painful, but you’ll set yourself free. Also, blowing off steam from yoga or fitness classes or walking in nature can help

- I am angry because of the apathy of people. Being very empathetic I feel that I have an obligation to make a difference in any way that I can and become frustrated by those who put their own self interests first. I try to let it go and focus on making myself the best person that I can be and to let my actions represent my values.

[hadjiiembercolgatenerdmctillhawk]

Windows 7 in 7 hours

Aight y’all chilluns siddown, i got a story to tell.

Okay so I’m like

real good friends with this lovely artist

@raspberryusagi

in fact she’s my girlfriend right now but that’s not important to the story because it wasn’t true at the time and wouldn’t be for a rather long time

Anyways and so she needed something with a bit more oomph for arting than her Macbook.

And she had some budget for a new tablet and computer so

i volunteered to build a pootr with her paying for parts

(though i did contribute some amount to the build becuz i’m nice like that)

(and i did end up contributing more than i expected but that was my fault, and i’ll get to that)

So. A bit of internet shopping later and she’s got all the parts and everything we’ll need.

So a day is planned for a few of us friends to get together for a “build a computer and chill”.

I do most of the building process, though a dear friend did help put in like 5 of the screws.

Eventually comes that magic moment when I push the power button to start things up. And the computer flashes on for a brief moment but nothing more happens.

Trying it again yields the same results. Not completely dead, but nothing interesting.

A bit of research says that the CPU may be bad. I find this discomforting because I had messed up the CPU installation somewhat.

So, on every Intel stock cooler I had seen before that, and every cooler since, the 4 retaining pins shipped loose. The ones on this cooler shipped tight, so I pushed unusually hard in an effort to try to get them to go through the board.

This actually bent the PCB and gave it a hairline fracture in one spot, which was of course, utterly fatal.

It also probably damaged the motherboard, causing that to fail a few months later and I’d need to replace it, but I digress.

So I overnight a replacement i5 6400 which is not exactly cheap but it was my fault that the cpu was broken so whatever. I did also have to get an extra day off work to do this, but that was fine, it was my fault.

In the morning, I realize that I forgot to put enough on my card, so I have to order the cpu again. By afternoon, the package is on its way to UPS.

By morning again, the package is still on its way to UPS.

By afternoon, the package is still on its way to UPS from Amazon.

I go home that evening from their place out of town, about an hour away from my home. Amazon is still sending it to UPS who will then send it to my vbf’s house where I can pick it up from.

I wake up in the morning before I have to go to work.

It’s still on the way to UPS.

No idea where the heck it went.

I go to work.

I check at around noon at work.

Package is still

on the way

to fricking

ups

4 pm I get a text message from my vbf’s dad

I check the shipping information

It’s still en route to ups

They received a package

It has the i5 6400

It also has a USPS label which has been stuck on OVER the correct UPS label, and the USPS label is for 2 day shipping instead of 1 day.

So. That was weird. One brief call to customer support later and I get a refund on shipping overcost, though not the package because that actually did arrive.

Another trip out of town is arranged, and I go down to pick up the CPU and put it into the computer. Success, everything works fine now. BIOS seems fine, it loads up the Windows 7 installer with the “choose language/region” screen.

And the mouse and keyboard are utterly unresponsive, not even capslock works. Not a good sign.

So I restart, and get the same thing.

The mouse and keyboard work fine in the BIOS menu, and unplugging/replugging the keyboard does bring the capslock light back on, so it looks like it’s working enough that it can receive capslock state from the computer but not do anything at all.

I take it to my vbf’s house for overnight testing, because my vbf’s dad has an old PS/2 mouse/keyboard combo, which may circumvent my suspicion that something weird was going on with the usb ports.

I was actually right the entire time about the USB ports behaving strangely, I just hadn’t realized that things could work out exactly how they did.

So, with a mouse and keyboard using the legacy PS/2 plug instead of USB, I was able to proceed further through the install process, showing that the hardware and all was fine.

The problem now was, when I attempted to choose a drive/partition to install to (in this case, the Crucial MX300 275GB ssd) it prompted an error window saying to select a CD/DVD driver.

I’m installing off a flashdrive.

Those apt with computers may be noting that flash drives are run over USB, which I was already having issues with. And you’d be correct. The installer drive was no longer accessible to Windows, so it had no data to load for installing Windows.

The search for answers took hours. Switching to USB 2.0 ports did nothing. Every fix I found did nothing or was irrelevant to the situation.

At about 3:04 AM, I came across a forum post I’d already seen before. This post had a link to the ASRock website, and I figured I may as well take a look, because the motherboard in question was ASRock.

I took one look at the headline for the page and my reaction was best summarized as the following.

http://www.asrock.com/microsite/win7install/

The page is slightly different than it used to be, but that headline still works.

“Installing Windows 7 on an Intel 100 series motherboard”

When a formal page like this says exactly what you’re trying to do and having issues doing it, without starting out by specifying an error message, you immediately know that you have been screwed by something or someone.

In this case, the world has moved on. Starting with the Intel 100 motherboards, and AMD AM4 platforms, the chipset no longer supports EHCI.

For a quick review, the physical USB port hasn’t changed too much, except with the USB type C. USB 1.0, 1.1, 2.0, and 3.0 ports all are physically compatible. The electronics managing them are rather different.

The internal controller for USB 2.0 ports is EHCI, and for USB 3.0 ports is XHCI.

Windows 7 was created before USB 3.0, so it does not natively support XHCI.

The intel 100 series motherboard only has the XHCI controller. USB 2.0 ports may exist but are controlled by the XHCI at USB 2.0 speeds.

So basically I did need a CD/DVD driver. Only not quite. In this case, I needed an XHCI controller driver to be loaded as part of the Windows 7 installer.

Thankfully, ASRock provided an easy button which is basically their own version of the .iso->usb burner which after creating the bootable USB, patches in their drivers.

The install process after that took like, 10 minutes because even budget ssd’s are pretty blazing fast.

I spent another hour adding graphics and ethernet and chipset drivers but that was it.

Showed up at her place the next day with the now-happy computer in tow. It couldn’t install her tablet drivers yet because those drivers needed a CRT which was part of windows updates, and the computer needed so many updates from being a fresh install of windows 7 that windows update itself was kinda locked up trying to process everything.

But, the computer worked now. All that was needed was time.

Later the motherboard crapped out because I pushed too hard but I replaced it and mailed it back to her and that was easy enough. Just took a while because depression and executive dysfunction and lack of motivation and crap.

TL;DR took 7 hours to install Windows 7.

[componentplanet]

How to Boost Your Older Graphics Card’s Performance

The ongoing coronavirus pandemic has upended economic activity around the globe and made it rather difficult to plan a PC upgrade. With tens of millions of people recently out of work and everyone stuck at home, boosting the performance of the hardware you’ve got on hand suddenly became a lot more interesting.

Before we kick-off, a few caveats are in order. First, the tweaks we’ll explore, even taken in aggregate, will certainly help but are unlikely to work miracles. Performance tuning can improve frame rates and turn a game that’s chugging in places into one that runs noticeably and meaningfully better, but there’s no way to turn an HD 7970 or GeForce GTX 680 into a Radeon 5700 XT or RTX 2080. Second, because every game is different, some of these tips may be more or less effective depending on the title.

Two miscellaneous tips before we start: First, always make certain you are playing games in fullscreen mode, not windowed, and not borderless (windowed mode, without a visible border). Windowed mode is slower than fullscreen, in virtually every title, because your GPU is drawing both your desktop and the game itself at the same time. Windows 10 has cut the gap dramatically, and not every game offers a fullscreen mode, but you should always test the option if it’s available.

Second, make sure you’ve dusted both your GPU and CPU. While unlikely to be a major slowdown cause, it’s far from impossible for a GPU’s performance to drop because the card is throttling under load. Dust is an excellent insulator and if you’ve got an older card, you’ve got no performance to spare in the first place.

Game-Specific Optimization

The first thing we recommend doing to squeeze a little performance out of an aging card is to experiment with game settings themselves. While most reviewers and gamers test titles according to presets (Low, Medium, High, etc), this is a practical time-saving necessity for the former and a matter of convenience for the latter.

Gamers generally know that certain features explicitly tied to AMD or NV GPUs (think GameWorks) can incur heavy performance penalties on other architectures, but the same can be true for other features as well. It’s not unusual for a game’s implementation of ambient occlusion, tessellation, or antialiasing to hit one company’s GPU harder than another, and this can even vary depending on GPU family. Yes, simply lowering game settings or resolution can improve frame rate, but toggling specific features can get you nearly the same results for a smaller reduction in performance. In Deus Ex: Mankind Divided, turning on MSAA has a phenomenal performance impact, for example — much more than you’d typically expect.

The slideshow below shows the impact of different detail levels in the 2014 Shadow of Mordor, with the optional HD texture pack installed. You can see differences here, but they’re subtle. Medium detail definitely doesn’t pack as much eye candy as Ultra, but it still presents an attractive-looking and engaging game. Even turning off features like ambient occlusion or disabling tessellation doesn’t hurt the visual appeal much. Different games have different “break” points, some look dramatically different at Medium compared to High, while others “break” at Medium versus Low. Oftentimes the benefits of “Very High” or “Ultra” are quite small compared with their performance hit.

Don’t be afraid to climb into the Advanced Options and start changing various sliders. Because different GPUs take different performance hits from different options, you may need to do a little detective work, but it’s not unusual to boost frame rates by 5-10 percent just from small tweaks.

If you need a tool for checking performance in DX11 and earlier titles, FRAPS is still a good choice. (DX12 performance monitoring is more complicated and a bit beyond the scope of this article). It’s also a good idea to use presets as rough targets. If you know a game runs acceptably fast on “Low” and too slowly on “Medium,” don’t be afraid to use “Low” as a starting point for tweaking features upwards. You may find there’s more eye candy available to you than you initially thought. Treat the situation like a buffet dinner — if you don’t see much difference between “Medium” and “High” textures in a title, check to see if dropping to Medium gives you enough headroom to turn up a setting you do care about. You may find that expensive features add relatively little to the game, giving you space to enable other visual improvements you want.

Running at a lower resolution is also a useful way to spot-check performance improvements, though this is title-specific. First-person shooters tend to scale better with resolution changes than a game like Civilization VI.

Driver Tweaks

Once upon a time (the late 1990s), it wasn’t uncommon for AMD and Nvidia to drop drivers that would improve game performance by 10-20 percent, even in older titles. Those days are mostly gone, provided you aren’t installing a launch-day update for a new game. But there are still a few ways you can tweak driver panel settings to squeeze out a little more performance.

On Nvidia cards (AMD has an analogous option in its own driver settings), you can set texture filter quality to “High Performance” as opposed to the default “Quality” option, force Ambient Occlusion on or off (if applicable), and force anisotropic texture filtering off.

Tweaking image quality in-driver won’t gain you a ton of performance, but it should improve things by a few percent. It’s also useful to check, to make sure you haven’t used global settings for one title and then forgotten to change them for another.

Check for Online Tweaks and Unofficial Patches

This one, again, is highly game-dependent. Some games don’t support modding or have small user communities. But in some cases, end-users take it on themselves to create patches that fix various aspects of a title, including issues that impact performance. Games like Skyrim and Fallout 4 have often received unofficial patches that can boost performance or optimize game textures for systems with low RAM.

Overclock Your GPU (Desktop Only)

We’re only touching on the topic here, not diving into it, but overclocking your GPU is typically good for a few percentage points of performance at the very least. Again, your results are going to vary based on which card you have and how aggressively the manufacturer tuned it beforehand. Tools like MSI Afterburner can be used to overclock most GPUs.

What might you get as a result? 5-10 percent would be a reasonable expectation depending on the card.

Note: Everything written here applies to desktop GPUs. ExtremeTech does not recommend attempting to overclock a laptop GPU.

If you are planning to test a GPU overclock, we recommend small tweaks (no more than a 5 percent increase to memory or GPU clock at any one time) and slow going. Stay away from adjusting your GPU’s voltage until you’ve researched the topic and the acceptable range of your card, and don’t tell Afterburner to automatically apply settings at boot until you’ve confirmed the settings you actually want.

Expect this process to lead to a lot of reboots and/or lockups if your goal is to squeeze every last drop of performance out of your card — you’ll have to do some testing to find out where the right breakpoints actually are, and it’s entirely possible to have ten games that run rock-solid on a GPU at one clock, but an 11th title that won’t run at anything but stock speeds. Such is the nature of this metaphorical beast.

If you aren’t overclocking by pushing voltages higher, the chances of damaging the card are fairly small, though we recommend you make sure the fans are dusted before you start pushing things. Most GPUs can typically handle a 5-10 percent overclock without complaint.

Adding It All Up

None of these solutions are going to work if you’re trying to coax more life out of a 10-year-old card, but they can measurably improve your overall performance. If you can tweak game settings for a 7 percent boost, pick up a 7 percent overclock, and tweak driver settings for a further 3 percent, you’ve got a 17 percent overall performance improvement. In a game struggling to hit 30fps (let’s call it 28fps for fun), a 1.17x improvement gets you up to 33fps. That’s not a ton, no — but the corresponding impact of each additional FPS is larger the lower your frame rate is. The perceived difference between 28 and 33fps is much larger than the gap between 60 and 65fps, even though both are 5fps faster than the other.

And of course, these are conservative estimates. In certain titles and particularly if unofficial performance-enhancing patches are available, you might see significantly larger gains, especially if you’re already bumping up against the VRAM limit of your current GPU. Resolution cuts can help a lot in this case — don’t be afraid to drop to lower resolutions if you’re seeing heavy stuttering, especially if you have an older or lower-end card with a limited amount of memory. It’s sometimes possible to write unofficial config files that make a game playable by lowering detail levels below what the developer intended. I had several WoW-playing friends whose graphics I “detuned” in this fashion, allowing them to raid on laptops that otherwise couldn’t handle the job. This was years ago, so I don’t know if the same hooks are still in the game, but there can be real value in this kind of optimization.

ExtremeTech is revisiting some classic posts and guides, each of which has been updated to reflect present-day conditions.

Now Read:

How to Download the Nvidia Control Panel Without the Microsoft Store

How an Article on Game Difficulty Explained My Own Modding, 18 Years Later

Sony Scaling Back PlayStation 5 Production Over Price, Not Coronavirus

from ExtremeTechExtremeTech https://www.extremetech.com/gaming/262688-boost-older-gpu-performance-since-cant-buy-new-one from Blogger http://componentplanet.blogspot.com/2020/04/how-to-boost-your-older-graphics-cards.html

[rnrmarineservices-blog]

BLOG: Sealine C330 to the Med – Heading south

Chilaxin and her crew carry on through the French canal network with the next river in sight

Day 20

Up early and… it's trying to rain! Typical. We head off anyway as we need to get moving. Today we are going to get as far south as we possibly can, through as many locks as possible to make up time.

We wave to a couple of the other boats as we leave Moret Sur Loing, some of whom are still tucked up in bed.

We hit the first small lock and everything is okay. We are given a remote control, which, as we approach the lock, activates it – great! We move on to the next lock amd as we approach – zap! – the light acknowledges us and soon we have a green light to enter. Awesome! This lock has quite a surge of water, which catches us out slightly. By using the bow thruster, Chilaxin is back straight and behaving.

Approaching Montargis

We had planned to get to Souppes-Sur-Loing for our night stop but, as we start going through the locks quite quickly, we feel that we will get there too soon and waste more time. We had not realised that these remote controls, which cover the whole Canal du Loing and are quite new, would save so much time!

We re-plan and think that we can get to Montargis, at the tip of the Canal de Briare. We move on, lock after lock, never seeing another boat – just lovely views and beautiful properties along the river banks. Before we know it we've arrived at Montargis, the Venice of the Gatinais.

Entering Montargis – the “Venice of the Gatinais”

In total we have completed 23 locks and 52km! We find a space at the Port de Plaisance and just as we start looking around to find out where to check-in, a van pulls up, we are given the okay and off they drive.

Once settled, we head into town to see what is on offer. We see a bar – music is playing, lots of ladies are stood outside and it looks like Salsa classes. I would like to add, at this point, we have not had a shower and 23 locks in full heat is no picnic! I decline to go in, even though Kev, not realising how smelly we were, was half way down the steps.

Heidi in Montargis town

We head on a bit further and find a nice quiet bar with seating outside. Two beers ordered, free peanuts and nibbles and the hint of Wi-Fi. I'm not moving!

The Wi-Fi is slower than dialup! Another round of beers and it's time to head back to the boat for a shower and bed. We have completed the Canal du Loing in a single day. What an achievement!

Tomorrow we are heading to Chatillon-Coligny (half way down the Canal de Briare) which is recommended in every book – and has free moorings.

Day 21

A rude awakening, after a very humid night, by the harbour master banging on the boat just before 7am. The shock on his face when he saw me was comical – my hair on end, in a small dressing gown, one eye open, the other glued shut with hay fever gunk (lucky him!) He charges €10 for the night and after a very small form has been completed off he goes.

Six locks down and we are pleased with progress. Then the VNF chap asks where we are heading. Chatillon we reply. He shakes his head – no you are not, the next two locks have been closed. Crap! His English was very good but all we got was that the lock was closed. We would have to stop in Montbouy (pronounced “mont-bwie”).

We start really well again on the canals. This canal does not have the remote control but we have a VNF person at each lock (if it is manual) or they are automatic and you gain entry from cameras watching your approach.

When inside there is a pole you lift up, which activates the lock. Not sure why people said you had to climb the ladders! If you are on your own, tie up next to the pole (there is normally a slider pole or a ladder which is just as good). The only grim bit is the activation pole, which is covered in slime!

We go past a long line of boats (some we have seen before), onto an empty jetty, I notice a small note on a board and realise that this is the hotel barge slot. We had a close call with barge on a horrid bend. Luckily we could reverse back into a turning basin. They were grateful to us going back as it would have been very tight to get by.

Squeezing under bridges has become the norm aboard Chilaxin

We leave Chilaxin to see if we can stay as we are as the next hotel barge is not due until tomorrow lunchtime. We head towards the mayors office, two lovely ladies say hello and then we start asking about the issue with the canal – do they know when the locks will be fixed?

They look puzzled as they know nothing about any closure. A few calls later and it appears that there is not an issue with the locks, but the flow of water between two locks a bit further up. As most people on this stretch of the canal have hired boats and have no real experience, they close the whole lot down for safety.

We ask about the town to see if there is a bar or restaurant so we can follow our tradition of trying a beer in every town. There is but she closes at 7pm! We head back to the boat.

A VNF lady is stood by all the boats – she is very young and speaks the most amazing English. She says that the next lock will be opened before 7pm, to allow those wanting to continue, but the VNF will not be responsible for any damage to boats that proceed.

Two boats head through – a Frenchman and an Australian (who lives in France and knows this area very well). Perfect – we move back into their places just in case we are told tomorrow that we still can't move forward. It also means we are able to get electricity and water.

We head up to the bar for quick pint, and meet the owner and her large Alsatian dog. We communicate that we would like a beer. No problem. There are a couple of young lads sat to our left and one of them speaks very good English. We all start chatting and soon enough we are way over closing time – but having a giggle!

Day 22

Over night, the water has calmed and at 9am we are given the go ahead to proceed.

We are joined by an Australian couple – Bruce and Marilyn. A lovely couple on their holidays and on the weirdest looking boat I have ever seen! They say that they will follow us and hope we will make it down to Briare for 4pm as they have to hand their boat back. That is 24 locks away going up some steep inclines.

As we get through the first lock of the day, the young girl from last night is there and says that we should be fine if we take it steady – fat chance!

Chilaxin is like a twitchy horse – she does not do slow and I have decided that she is not liking the locks, especially upstream where there is such a rush of water.

The beautiful tree-lined banks of Rogny

We head off and all we can hear behind us is Bruce's' voice – this guy is never quiet! He is perched on top of his boat and reminds us of Timothy West & Prunella Scales! He has one speed and one speed only – flat out! He bounces around, has no regard to fishermen (we give a wide berth as don't want the props wrapped in line), or anyone else.

We get to Rogny just before midday. Bruce comes flying past us shouting that the lock is closed. We panic, thinking it's another issue; we forget that France shuts down for lunch – not an issue when you have your own remote control. We moor up and have lunch. Just as we finish clearing up, the other Australian boat goes into the lock. Lets see if we can catch them up!

This is the start of the big incline – we have six locks taking us up and eight to get back down. The views are breath-taking in this area. As for the old locks well, what a masterpiece!

Two locks on and we catch them at the third. Both hire boats are low and flat so bridges are not an issue to them. For us, we are still looking at bridges, I then walk out to the bow and, if my hands touch the bridge (just), then we are okay height wise. There have been a few which are at lock entrances – and it is tight!

By the end of the day we arrive in Briare – 24 locks and god knows how many kilometres later. Dorothy, the Capitinaire at Briare, toots in her car and tells us to follow her down to our space. She speaks perfect English and is so very helpful.

The crew are used to sharing locks with local trip boats

Why is it you get not a hint of wind all day yet, when you go to berth up, gusts arrive to knock you about? We end up next to a lovely English couple, Ron & Myra, who have their own boat and travel the inland waterways six months of the year. It is now 6.30pm on Friday night so we decide to have a shower and then eat out.

As soon as we mention this, we are told that the bars close at 7.30pm (who says that the French have a night time living?!). We head out and find the bar in the square. We end up being the only two there but it is nice and we have a view of the church too.

Well earned beers in Briare

We then look for restaurants, none of which are cheap! We go to one and see the first boat that we were following (the Australians) having dinner so we pop over and say hi.

A lovely meal later, with a nice glass of red, and we head back to the boat. It's going to be another sticky night; tomorrow we will not be going anywhere.

Day 23

The heat was just too much yesterday – I felt like I was melting the whole time! Today is not much better but Kev sets off to clean Chilaxin. She is covered in sap, flies and crud from the locks. We are not allowed to use hoses so he sets about with (limited water in) a bucket and a microfibre cloth.

Me on the other hand… off to do the “dobbie”. Yep, last night I tracked down the laundrette so today the bedsheets and all our clothes will be clean again!

Kev has now decided to go into town to get bread and milk. Two hours later (and a 2km walk in 28 degrees), he now has stretched arms from carrying beers, salad, vegetables, cans of Coke, cakes and biscuits – and of course the bread and milk he set out for!

Clouds gather over Briare

The skies are turning black and I am hoping the storm, that keeps being promised, is nearly upon us.

Tomorrow we set off again and head onto our third canal – Canal Lateral a la Loire. This one only has 35 locks in total and is 200km in length. By the time we get to the end (hopefully 3-4 days), we will be halfway through our journey in distance.

There will be one more canal after this and then we hit the rivers again – which I know Chilaxin will be looking forward to as she will be able to go that bit quicker again and be out of this murky brown water.

Day 24

What an amazing start to the day heading over the Briare Aqueduct! We headed across early to make sure we had no hold ups. Unfortunately, this meant that we left in the rain but that was not a major issue.

We carried on to our third canal of the journey – the Canal Lateral a La Loire. Very peaceful, passing lots of boat hire premisses. We saw the two boats moored up (that we had been joined by the other day) which the Australians had been on.

We carried on until midday, when the locks are closed for the VNF people to have their lunch (still not used to planning this in our day).

Heading over the stunning aqueduct at Briare

As we moored up, we thought we would walk up to the lock and see what was coming. Next minute, we have another Australian chatting to us. They are in the hire boat opposite us and his steering has given up. They are waiting for assistance. He is going the same way as us, yet, at present, he is facing the wrong way!

We watch the next couple of boats coming towards us (more hire boats). I head out to advise them that the lock is closed for lunch when the first one hits the bank!

We try not to get involved but, after a few minutes, we know that they are in trouble so Kev goes over to give them a hand and to try and get them tied up until the lock opens. A very grateful holiday maker and they'd like to follow us to our day's stop so that we can share wine – how very nice!

Three get into the lock. Chilaxin (with her nose right against the lock, which I am very un happy about!), the couple we helped off the bank, and then a German couple in their holiday boat.

It's a squeeze but everyone is helping out, including the lovely VNF guy. He can see the panic on my face at being so close to the lock gate and promises me that he will fill the water very slowly.

The crew beg for a shower to break the heatwave

It looks like we will have more storms tonight. We are in a tiny little village, which is very pretty and it's a free stop (including water and electricity). They also have a small supermarket a few hundred meters away, which will be open tomorrow. I will head off first thing, before we attempt 30nm and 13 locks. We're not sure where we will stop but will be aiming for Marseilles-Let-Aubigny.

Day 25

Beffes – we stopped just short of Marseilles-Let-Aubigny. Mainly due to some very obnoxious people on a holiday barge, whom where all very drunk and getting far too close to the back of Chilaxin! So much so that, if we reached out, we would have touched their boat! We also over heard that this was where they were heading.

In the books it said that there was a nice little holt but no electricity or water. We decided that we would have a look and, to our surprise, Beffes has had a major overhaul. Proper pontoons plus water and power for €6 per night – bargain!

Chilaxin alongside in Beffes

Time to check out what Beffes has to offer. On the main roundabout there is a bakery, a small – but very good – supermarket, a tabac and café and a restaurant. What more did we need?

We had a very quiet evening and cleaned down the boat for the first time in ages with no-one to tell us off about the water. God it felt great to see her looking white again without all the tree sap, bugs and canal grime. Everywhere we have stopped, people come and admire Chilaxin saying that she must be very new even though she is now 15 months old.

As we head along the canals, all the cyclists ring bells and wave and, if up close to the roads, the lorries and cars all toot their horns.

Day 26

Having had a nice quiet stay in Beffes, we headed on to Fleury. First we had to head through a double lock and cross a viaduct. As we approached the double locks, and just before lunch for the lock keepers, we decided to stop and give us time to work out how this lock worked. Just as well we did… it is massive! I ended up having to use a ladder as my main stay on this lock. This would be a test for us.

As it turned out it was not too bad. Half an hour later we were through and heading across the aqueduct – just stunning. As we arrived at Fleury we thought we had made a bit of a mistake. The snack shack that is mentioned was there but there were a couple of long gazebos and it all looked a little shabby.

Kev inspects the next lock

We checked the power worked and then walked up to the shack where we met the owner who had several beers on offer at €1.50 for a large – perfect! Several beers later and the others we have met along the canal start arriving. We manoeuvre boats so that everyone will get in and now it's time for dinner. Another boat pasta night ahead and cooking again for our new friends who weren't so enamoured with the shack's menu.

Just as I'm getting everything cooking nicely… no gas! How have we gone through more gas in the past few weeks than all of last season? Well, if you're only cooking at weekends it will go further! We steal the gas our pals and use what we need quickly, before getting it back on their boat and secured again. What a nightmare!

Another early night is wanted as the locks do take it out of you, especially when we are averaging 15-24 a day! We are doing well. Sleep is not to come for me. The little shack is popular – not just with the few little boats but obviously the place to be! Cars keep arriving and more people but finally at 2am they all go home and I can get some shuteye.

I must say though that, as I was up and looking skyward, I have not seen stars so clear since I was in the Isles of Scilly a few years ago. Totally breath-taking.

Next Decize to Blanzy

This article BLOG: Sealine C330 to the Med – Heading south appeared first on Motor Boat & Yachting.

[cybermikeb]

Computers are Dumb

The Problem

As you may already know from following me on twitter or other social networks I have had some computer problems for the last few weeks. Though really the problem has been happening for months now. It seems to have started with one driver update from AMD.

Back in May I believe it was, AMD pushed a driver update for my radeon rx 480 graphics card. I had lots of Blue screens and freezing that day and I finally found out they were just bad drivers and I updated them to a version that AMD pushed out quickly that fixed that. Well that seemed to fixed my problems for awhile but I was still getting blue screens and freezes once and awhile. 

Then June came and these problems seemed to get worst. So I started trying to figure out the problem, thinking it was the Graphics drivers I started trying to find my last stable drivers from AMD but after awhile I started noticing that no mater what driver I installed the compute just kept blue screening and freezing. That is when I thought maybe it wasn't the graphics card and started looking at my other hardware.  

I did a diagnostic on the memory, which came back fine. Then I checked my hard drives, and that came back fine. Finally I thought it might be something with my BIOS so I looked into how to update that, and I updated it. Updating my BIOS was the most nerve racking thing I have ever done with one of my computers. Ive always seen it as a “if it ant broke don't fix it" thing. But I thought maybe it was broke and I did it anyway. I installed everything needed and found an update to the BIOS and installed it, lucky the computer didn't freeze or blue screen during this process. Which wasn't something I thought of until it was half way threw doing the update. Well the computer restarted and I herd the fans going full blast. Then it restarted again and I just had a blank screen. I thought I had bricked my computer at that point, but I decided to plug my screen into the HDMI port on the mother board and I was able to see again. I just had to change some settings so my graphics card worked again.

Once I got that figured out I tested out the computer to see if things were fixed. Well I streamed for about an hour and it seemed fixed. I was happy and went to bed. The next day I woke up and decided to stream heroes and10 or 15 mins in the same freezing and blue screening was happening. At this point I just had no idea what was going on with computer. I finally started googling and looking on AMDs message boards to see if anyone else had this problem. Well I found a few that had similar problems and it seemed it had to do with there power supplies. But I didn't want that to be the problem also I thought Ive had this graphics card for almost a year with no problem until that driver came out. 

Well after a few more freezes and blue screens I finally decide to get a new power supply. I opened up the case to see what it could handle and it turned out it could handle a max of 600W, in doing research of my graphics card I found out my graphics card could suck down a max of 545W. Things slowly started to become clear to me what probably happened that lead me to that point.  

I didn't do the full math put if my graphics card was at max pulling down 545W plus whatever my CPU, RAM, hard drives, and other USB devices were pulling I'm sure that was more that 600W. Though it handled this with no problem for almost a year I'm sure this caused something in side to burn out and what was causing the freezing and blue screens. When I ordered the new power supply I ordered one that could handle up to 1000W I felt like that should be enough.

Well I got the power supply and installed it in the PC to find out that I need a 4 pin connector it only had 6 pins. So I’m waiting for a adapter. I ordered one and it’s coming from China it will take 8 to 15 days to get here. I didn’t notice that when I ordered it. When I found this out I canceled the order and ordered one from amazon I should have that one at the soonest Friday or at the latest next Wednesday. 

Back to my Mac

Since I figured out it was the power supply I started using my Mac Mini again. On my PC I could play World if Warcraft and other Blizzard games at 95 FPS at the top graphics settings. Lucky my Mac Mini can play WoW but at the low setting and I get 5 to 10 FPS. I feel like the worst part of it is that I recently joined a new guild but I don’t want to do anything until the PC is fixed. I don’t want them to think I’m horrible because I can’t see some of the shit on the ground or move in time to avoid stuff. 

Outside of that I don’t mind using my Mac Mini daily again it’s a little slow even for everyday things but I get to use Mac OS and I love that. The other problem is I haven’t been able to record any videos or stream. I miss that more than anything.  

Hopefully this nightmare will be over soon and I can get back to my videos. It’s just the waiting that is killing me. This all may seem like a first world problem, and it is but I still wanted to share this story. I also thought one of my blogs was a good place to bitch.

[singlefern-blog]

Maya and Mudbox 2017 Review

A new year, the new appear 

I have to say, We prefer this new ‘skin'; it gives Maya a lot more a new look. In case you are a Maya user, you'll need the while to readjust in order to the new UI, yet after half an hr or so, you ought to be good to proceed, as well as the particular sound thinking behind the brand new layout should start in order to make sense. For that Softimage users out there that have had to transition in order to Maya, you'll find that will you can now middle-mouse button click any menus to obtain back in order to the last tool utilized within that menu. Because well as for Maya users who never skilled the benefits of this particular simple yet very useful shortcut, now's your opportunity.

Modeling and sculpting Alright, so once I has been accustomed to the brand new appear, I wanted to check out the brand new sculpting brushes that have been applied into Maya from Mudbox. I think they are usually a great addition plus should really help within numerous areas, from producing base meshes, to producing shot fixes and further blendshapes. Especially, they ought to allow artists to prevent out initial concepts prior to dropping them into the dedicated sculpting package. You have also got a choice of base meshes that will you can import in to Maya from the Visor, and the usual choice of Mudbox Stamps plus Alphas at your removal. This is all really positive indeed, but We would have loved the particular opportunity to jump upward and down the neighborhood levels of an item; this would have actually been useful. Also, whenever sculpting on meshes that will are around 1 mil faces or more, this does begin to possess a general effect upon the performance of Maya, and things become the little sluggish. This associated with course could be correct down to my device, but again inside a devoted sculpting package, I possibly could crack away at a design at that resolution plus far higher (say fifteen million faces or so) without bother. Perhaps I am as being a little bit harsh here though, because this is the 1st incarnation from the sculpting tools in Maya, which usually I'm really happy with regard to, and it does punch the Sculpt Geometry Device straight out the package. That being said, I'm still remaining yearning just for that will little bit more. The new Hypershade Now the big point that feels like this has not got the particular applause it deserves offers to be the up-dates towards the Hypershade. This really does seem like this particular is the star associated with the show here. Large improvements happen to be added that will should bring lots associated with pleasure for those dealing with look development in Maya. At this point a person have a fantastic Materials Viewer embedded into the particular Hypershade window, allowing a person to preview your covering networks in real-time. You may also edit the object within the Material Viewer plus switch between an arrears set of IBLs in order to see how your shaders react under different illumination conditions. The Work Region is replaced with the particular Node Editor, and a person can now add extra tabs, making the procedure of focusing on several shaders a much simpler affair. Another plus 1 of many is the particular fact that the Hypershade UI is very easy to customize. You can add plus dock new windows such as the Render View, the particular Outliner, and so upon, into the Hypershade, and for that reason create an interface that will suits your working design.

Animation and rigging Moving on, all of us arrive at animation and rigging. A large push has already been made to really speed up the performance of rigs in Maya. Through Seite an seite Rig evaluation and simply by utilizing the power associated with the GPU as nicely as the CPU, a person can now get rigs that would defy becoming played back in current to do exactly that will, if not faster. This particular does indeed make the difference; one of the particular major benefits is that will animators will no lengthier have to create because many Playblast because these people may have done within the past to acquire a sense of exactly how their animation is moving. This is a large plus, especially in the day and age exactly where shots have to become churned out left, correct and center, and whenever constant revisions are required.

From the UI up-dates, animators and riggers will certainly now find that these people each possess a menus set, each one crafted to their needs. Presently there is also a team of extra Keying equipment which should aid the particular animators available, and with regard to the riggers, we right now have the extremely helpful Delta Mush tool additional to the roster. The particular latter is a wonderful addition, and never only will be it easy to set up and use, it actually did a great work of fixing those bothersome deformation areas, such because under the arms plus round the hips. Bifrost and XGen On best of everything else, all of us have further updates in order to Bifrost and XGen. With regard to the fluid fans, you will be glad to listen to that the new Aero solver continues to become included, so you may create all of the particular atmospheric effects your fluid-loving hearts desire. You'll furthermore discover that Bifrost offers been ‘opened up' therefore you can dive in to each compound and begin editing the parameters in a more granular degree. By no means will be this ICE in Maya yet, but bit simply by bit, it's starting in order to move around in that will direction. For the Hair fans, there is right now a library of hair styles for you in order to pick from (based through the original Fur styles) and tackling feathers offers also been made a lot easier with the capability to use ramps in order to define the shape associated with feathers. To conclude upon Maya, it does really feel like there has already been an enormous heap associated with goodies added. Some associated with them I personally really feel need refining, but presently there are plenty of nicely thought out ideas plus well implemented tools that will have gone into this particular version. So overall, We cannot complain and I am really looking forward in order to getting my hands unsanitary with this particular release. Mudbox up-dates So we'll move upon to Mudbox, where, regrettably, there actually is not a lot to discuss. We right now have new falloff choices to the brushes, the twist feature put in to the Grab brush (useful for putting noses from shape), and they've furthermore included the Relax device (which I've always the new love for within Maya). Everything else appears to be pretty a lot exactly the same. We enjoy using Mudbox within fact it is inexpensive as chips to purchase, so for newcomers who wish to get their hands upon a sculpting package, or even for those looking with regard to an accompanying package in order to Maya, it's there with regard to the taking. However, We really would like in order to view a bit more advancement going into it. ZBrush, without a doubt, offers taken on the sculpting phase and is an excellent animal, but there is simply no reason some simple improvements to Mudbox (for instance, having the ability in order to combine meshes) couldn't become added to improve the particular workflow for people that use it. It actually is sad to discover out another year proceed by with very small improvement made to Mudbox.

Still, hey-ho, let's finish on a high: it can a good year with regard to Maya fans and I am sure there'll be a lot more to come. Maya Score (out of 5): 4. 5/5 Mudbox Score (out of 5): 3/5 Key features:::: Maya 2017 -- New UI - Toning Tools - Modeling Tool set Updates - Hypershade Up-dates - Parallel Rig Evaluation - Aero Solver -- XGen Updates Mudbox 2017 - New Falloff Designs - Twist Feature in order to seize Brush - Unwind Device System requirements: -- Operating-system: Microsoft® Windows® seven (SP1) and Windows® eight. 1, Apple® Mac OS® X 10. 9. five and 10. 10. by, Red Hat® Enterprise Linux® 6. 5 WS, CentOS 6. 5 Linux -- CPU: 64-bit Intel® or even AMD® multi-core processor -- RAM: 4 GB associated with RAM (8GB recommended) -- Disk Space: 4 GIGABYTE of free disk area for install (Maya), one GB of free hard drive space for install (Mudbox) Price: Maya 2017 -- Available from £145 for each month, or £1, one hundred sixty per year Mudbox 2017 - £10 each month