#I cant keep up with the amount of ideas and inspiration I have

[ivyloveheart]

Me: Today I will draw something!!

*after sketching one (1) line*

Whew! What a lot of hard work! Time to go to sleep.

[boopshoops]

What your favorite TWST character says about you :)

As a note before I begin: I saw one of these that shamed malleus and randomly even chenya enjoyers- (claimed that they were pick mes or something? 😭) so i wanted to make one that was more positive out of spite <3 make it more about the writing and why people appreciate the characters. Take each of these with a grain of salt i spose- also a lot of them share similar themes <3

(Aka fans who have different views or even blatantly incorrect views of characters will always exist everywhere, but insulting the entirety of a group solely for enjoying a character, many for different reasons, is probably not a great idea!

I get that sometimes people suck and thats understandable, but quit generalizing ok? Ok.

From a malleus enjoyer who just thinks hes a silly little guy and im tired of feeling like i have to defend myself bc he's my blorbo 😵‍💫)

Final note: i love unapologetically taking frustration and turning it into something that can make people smile 💕 also i blindly wrote this from 11pm-midnight :))) dividers by @/cafekitsune!

Heartslabyul:

Riddle: you enjoy and/or relate to the idea of healing from the past. Working hard to improve oneself for the ones around you and yourself: creating a healthier environment where you can be happy

Trey: there is immense complexity in things that are seemingly mundane. Digging deeper and deeper to find something truly sweet and heart warming is your joy.

Cater: maybe you relate, or maybe you used to, or maybe parts of the connections made in the past/presence/future dont feel as deep as you truly want them to be. There is something beautiful about a desire for genuine human connection, but also peace in being alone. There is a safe space for you yet, just be patient. 💕

Deuce: you love drive and determination. An endless stubbornness that keeps one going against all odds. Against every person who tells someone they cant. You watch them get proven wrong, and its pure bliss.

Ace: you find the connection between people beyond words heartwarming: even the seemingly simple ones. The ability to have a connection with someone who can get up to some mischief, tease back and forth, yet be there when you need them to be one of the most valuable things.

Savanaclaw:

Leona: Adversity over a lack of belief in oneself is a very difficult thing to overcome- yet it is very possible with the right crowd, the right amount of time, healing, and effort. You think someone's worth lies more than just within their title/job/appearance, but within the fact that they are able to stand back up and keep moving onward despite the odds. The hope for that change, and the ability to get out of bed in the morning on its own is strength.

Ruggie: Despite being through so much trauma at such a young age, recovery happens anyway. Its not perfect, at times the lessons learned are even rough. The survival tactics that once helped are now hard to ditch when theyre not needed anymore, but the ability to smile and joke and keep pushing onwards is something you value in life.

Jack: Self discipline can be both extremely useful as well as harmful in different ways. You find the way people can constantly strive to better themselves at what they love and/or morally to be highly admirable.

Octavinelle:

Azul: People can be cruel. And sometimes that cruelty inspires cruelty. Sometimes its simply used as a way to move on and survive insecurities created from it. Its hard, its a fight, but those insecurities are part of what make people beautiful. They are nothing to be ashamed of, and even the many tactics and smart ways of learning to overcome cruelness can be beautiful too.

Jade: The mind is extremely powerful. Intelligence and knowledge are not the only important things, no. Using that intel to find entertainment in the surrounding world can be exhilarating. Finding and discovering new unknowns: learning their ins and outs until they're a part of you is something you can relate to.

Floyd: speaking of fun- you love what is essentially the written version of a roller coaster. Ups and downs, ins and outs. Every single twist and turn is exhilarating and new. Every different perspective provides new insight into a multitude of different things. You are along for the ride, and you are having a lovely time.

Scarabia:

Jamil: self discovery can be very difficult after purposefully suppressing parts of one's self for a long time. Yet, the healing happens anyway (once again aha <3). People discover new parts of themselves, slowly becoming more comfortable not only with their environment, but how they react to it. The discovery is freedom, and freedom is bliss to you. New traits about oneself bloom like a flower: if not in the soil, then stubbornly in the cracks of cement. You gently take that bloom from the concrete and pot it, placing it gingerly in a beam of sunlight.

Kalim: Happiness isnt only sunshine to the one smiling, but to everyone else around them. It is delightfully infectious. However, happiness isnt a constant. You think emotions all emotions should be experienced rather than suppressed, because holding back sadness for the sake of others is a disservice to one's self. Discovering your own emotions, any range of them, is what makes people uniquely human. If anyone is holding those emotions back- hell, any part of them back, they need to be let out of the cage.

Pomefiore:

Vil: "Beauty is on the inside" is a saying thats been around for a long time, but beauty comes in so many forms. It can come from the stubborn desire to improve one's self: to be kinder, to help those around you, to be good. However it is impossible to be perfect. At times, for some, this can be crushing. People are hurt unintentionally, natural frustration can brew, the wrong actions can be taken: and thats okay. You believe whats important is to pick yourself up and keep going. To err is to be human, and that is beautiful too.

Rook: Error is beautiful. Symmetry is beautiful. Asymmetry is beautiful. A crack in the side walk is beautiful. Small things are beautiful, big things are beautiful. The nurturing of something through endless care is beautiful. The undeniable traits and hobbies of every individual that make them unique are beautiful. You find the endless optimism in finding beauty to be, in itself, beautiful.

Epel: Sometimes people will view others in ways that they wish not to be perceived as. This isnt in our control, as much as we sometimes want it to be. All you can do i be unapologetically yourself. To be you to the utmost degree. To prove those who thought otherwise to be foolish. You find this strength to find value in yourself despite others opinions admirable.

Ignihyde:

Idia: you have depression /j

Ok for real-

Life can be such a cunt. It can beat a person down, down, down and leave them vulnerable enough to fear it. To fear that beating, whenever it may next come. The anxiety of never knowing what or who will come next, or what one could lose. At times it feels more comforting to find a routine in solitude. But you know that the small things that give joy will wiggle their way in with time. The broken will meet people who love and care and find comfort in the companionship of healing, even from the little things: like a new story to read or game to play.

Ortho: You value unconditional support. Support through everything: the good, the bad, the just kind of okay. Knowing that someone can have ones back for every little thing- to be there solely because they care and wish the best for others- is something you look up to and maybe even wish to be for another.

Diasomnia:

Malleus: god damn people can be so hard to read and understand. They are so complicated: they are books you have to pay attention to from start to finish. But once you reach the end, you have a deep seated appreciation for them, and for the ones who stuck around to read your book too. Even if it was just for a fleeting moment: it is a happy moment. As painful as temporary things can be, it is also what you think can make the relationships we love and have loved so valuable.

Lilia: there can be suffering everywhere. There is war. There is famine. But there are also endless new sights to see. New discoveries to be made to help those still going through famine and war. New ways to love and understand people you never thought you'd understand. The development and positive parts of humanity, even though at times it can look bleak, are ever present to you. You love the discovery: of places and of people.

Silver: you believe that there is solace in being your own individual, regardless of who you are bound by blood to. Being shaped my experiences, friends, hardships, and new places are what make a person who they are. You value finding roots in and making your own home.

Sebek: Dedication can be a hard thing to come by, but when it does it can grab someone by the reigns. Using every waking moment to cherish that thing, learn more about it, become better at something, and strive to better ones self can be very admirable to you. But, on the other hand, it also calls for the occasional rest.

OTHER (just for ones I know well enough, sorry!)

Neige: You love kindness despite hardship. One can go through horrible things and still choose to be kind. The world could begin to end, and one could still choose to be kind, because it means everything.

Chenya: Curiosity fuels exploration. It fuels art. It fuels everything. It fuels excitement. It fuels friendships. It fuels medicine. It fuels life. Curiosity is endlessly fun, and you think that is very whimsical

Meleanor: Sacrifice for others can be tragic. Knowing what another person has given up for someone else, maybe even everything, is gut wrenching but undeniably a selfless love to you.

Crewel: There can be kindness in strictness. In teachings, there can be a parental guide. There can be someone who cares for you and undeniably wants you to succeed. They know that you can, so they push you towards it. You want this support.

Trein: Love surpasses time. When the ones we love are gone, the memories of them are still held close, with the love once given to them, we can show to others through advice and guidance that comes with time. You find comfort in that.

Crowley: People are flawed. We all know this, yet despite a persons flaws... however many there may be, there is still something hopeful and human about it. About having those flaws and persisting regardless. You may even like those flaws, and the unashamed desire to press on even with them on display.

Fellow/Ernesto: Live for yourself. This is what you desire. People are often caught up in material or monetary things. After all, we live in a world that required it to survive and even be respected. To throw away those views and simply live as you see fit: regardless as to whether you earn those things or not, is something you admire.

Rollo: Sometimes the attachment we have to those we lost can be painful. Regardless, that pain is proof that there was care and love. The things done for others, whether alive or dead, are done selflessly. Grief can fuel hatred, but it can also be caused by love. To unlearn hatred and learn to love again after the fear of loss is a natural human experience. It is a process you understand and admire those who take the time and strength needed to properly love again.

Thank you for reading <3

Tags <3

@lowcallyfruity @skriblee-ksk @justm3di0cr3 @cecilebutcher @kitwasnothere

@techno-danger @thehollowwriter @distant-velleity @the-trinket-witch @scint1llat3

@beneathsakurashade @qsoap @twsted-canvas @prince-kallisto @kathxrat-01

@sillyslipperybananapeel @jadelover69 @tixdixl @twstinginthewind

[astra-ravana]

Creating Servitors

What is a Servitor?

A servitor is a thought form, an energy, an idea, a spirit, or a living being that exists to perform a certain function. Their process of creation is comparable to making a sigil that activates as a result of magick or ritual. Perhaps a servitor is best defined as a mystical servant, formed of your own thoughts and will, to carry out your wishes. Beyond this, however, they can also make great companions. These creatures can adopt any idea or purpose and be designed accordingly.

Servitor Functions

Servitors can be created to execute certain tasks or work with a specific energy. However, each individual servitor can typically be designated only one function. Some examples of these are as follows:

• To protect you/guard your home

• To manifest things you want/need

• To help produce a desirable feeling (ie: happiness, peace, love, etc.)

• To transform one energy into another

• To act as a spiritual gatekeeper

• To inspire you or act as a creative muse

• To serve as a totem or toulpa

The Creation Process

Step 1- Cleanse yourself and clear your mind: You can't expect your work to amount to a powerful servitor if you're a muddled mess throughout the process. Do a cleansing ritual to remove stray energy and take some time to meditate and orient your mind to the task.

Step 2- Envision your servitor: Before doing anything, form an idea of what you're servitor will be like. Things to consider:

• Are they tied to a physical object or vessel, or are they purely spiritual?

• What is their function?

• What is the rough outline of their contract?

• What is their disposition?

• Do they have any correspondences?

• How will you activate them?

• What is their shut off or "kill switch"?

Having a concept in your mind already makes the actual creation process much smoother.

Step 3- Draw up a contract: Take a piece of paper and carefully pen your energetic agreement with your servitor. You can include as much detail as you like. Be sure to cover their name, function, duties, feeding/maintenance, and a shut off. You may also choose to create a sigil or symbol for your servitor. Be sure to sign your contract and seal it with your blood.

Step 4- Choosing their form: Now it's time to give your servitor a body. If you wish for them to be tied to the physical world you could simply attach them to something like a doll, stuffed animal, figurine, poppet, clay figure, skull, et,. Or you could draw your servitor to give them a body in a spiritual sense. If you cant draw, you can even select an image you feel embodies your servitor and print it up. To summarize, you need some sort of token, figure, or vessel to represent your servitor to make interaction easy.

Step 5- Charging: Charge your servitor by placing it upon your altar or work space. You may light candles of colors that correspond to the servitor's energy, incorporate relevant crystals and herbs, or include anything that you feel empowers your creation. Read the contract aloud, clearly and address your servitor by name, following something to the effect of "I give you life", "awaken", or "I give a piece of my energy so that you may live".

Step 6- Breath of life: When ready, align your mouth with the "mouth" of your servitor and expell a deep breath of air, effectively "breathing life" into your creation.

Step 7- Taking up residence: It's time to give your servitor a proper place in your home. You may choose to keep it on your altar, move it to a secret place, or display it up high. You can even carry it with you, just keep the contract somewhere safe if not with/within the servitor itself. Your servitor is now complete.

Maintenance

Servitors need to be fed, but the good news is you get to decide what they eat. This could be magick oil or herbs, a spoken spell, or a certain type of energy, the possibilities are vast. Feeding your servitor ensures it keeps functioning at full power. This should be done every month or so.

Kill Switches

Including a kill switch or shut off for your servitor is wise in case they become too much of a drain on your energy or you want to redesignate that energy elsewhere. This could be done by sucking the breath out of them, saying some specific words, or physically dismantling the servitor. The choice is your's.

Note: Avoid creating too many servitors. Each one you create borrows a piece of your energy. If you have too many it will drain you and may cause supernatural upset. Limit your work to a few powerful servitors for the best results.

[moonsaver]

Hi! It’s @pix3lplays! (On anon because I have another account and I can’t switch which account I’m asking from haha)

I wanted to say thanks for being so nice when I responded to your comment on one of my posts~I really appreciated what you said hehe, definitely made me feel bit more confident and inspired me to keep writing :)

So I thought I’d throw an ask out since requests are open~

If you’re not interested no problem but I’ve thought about it a little and I thought maybe you’d have some thoughts.

Yandere!Sunday when his darling somehow gets seriously hurt, how do you think he’d feel, what would he do?

Personally I think he’s a complete control freak already when it comes to reader, so it just gets WORSE…ANYWAYS I wanna hear YOUR thoughts if you’re interested in the prompt hehe~ also if you’ve already talked about this oops I must’ve missed it, sorry in advance-

But yeah thanks so much, it was really cool to talk to you, take care of yourself, please!!

Hello Pixel! Thank you for sending in this ask, you're very sweet haha <3 i like your writing and im glad i helped you become more confident in it. Also,same issue here, i cant send asks from this account specifically, so i use anon or just use my personal blog to send asks.

Anyways, onto the request,

Ooh, my Yan!Sunday brain is ticking.. he really is an absolute control freak, and is a bit of a mess when he sees you seriously injured. A miscalculation, ignorance, negligence, or perhaps just.. an oversight from his part? Whatever the reason is, he's in high-drive now, and absolutely stressed about it. He only has a worried and distant look on his face, and at this stage he's prone to easily snapping at anyone, but his mind would be on a completely different level of stress. How dare they? How dare anyone lay a filthy inch of a finger on you? To stain you with their sins, and to breach your skin in such a grotesque manner.. he's absolutely enraged.

He insists on tending to you himself personally, unless it's so serious paramedics have to be involved. Stays by your side until he cant, sitting on the egde of the bed, body turned halfway to face you, fingers ghosting the edge of your face with tenderness.

However, this tenderness is only limited to your recovery period.

After you wake up or recover a bit, practically any freedom you would have had is gone. Completely.

Scolds you, borderline yells at you, holds you still with a deathly tight grip on your arms, forcing you to look into his eyes. This happened because you left. This happened because you were out of his watch. This all happened because of your freedom. Don't you dare even bother mentioning going out anywhere. You will be surveillanced almost all the time. He spends a suffocating amount of time next to you, harshly spitting back whenever you try to protest or reason with him. His words aren't gentle at all, and you're getting on his nerves. Perhaps he should just look over you himself, force you into a borderline coma in the dream fluid, and deal swiftly with the perpetrators.

Robin catches wind of this at some point.. she tells you that he's just worried, and there's a lot of people that don't quite hold The Family in high regards. Just.. its okay. Let him do this.

Let him pick out your clothes, brush your hair, check your healing wounds, gently ebb the water over them as you bathe, and kiss the skin of your shoulder when both of you stay silent after another argument.

If you still continue arguing.. he doesn't have a choice. He slumps a bit, a hand coming up to massage his temple as he sighs, and tells you in a softer voice that he's terrified. The worst thing that could happen did happen. He almost lost you. Can't you just go with it and let him be assured? You're dragging it out much more than it needs to be. He's spent many sleepless nights, ideas of dreamscapes turning into nightmares as the image of your hurt face flashes in his mind. Just cooperate, for Aeons' sake.

And no one speaks after that. He emotionally blackmails and manipulates you as a sort of final resort. Surely, you'd understand. It's not like it's far from the truth anyway. He is scared. But more than that, he's enraged this happened in the first place.

Adding on more to it,

Once things calm down.. in a twisted sort of way, he realizes just how perfectly he can get you under his complete control from these events. He may even not so subtly orchestrate similar events to scare you, to keep you in check, forcing you to rely on him completely, as he swoops in at the right time, acting as some kind of a "savior". Its a sick mindset, and he's not ashamed of it. Oh dear, you were just so pleasantly compliant after that event. And it just solidifies his statement that you shouldn't be going outside anymore, or be constantly accompanied by the Bloodhound Family guards, after only a few incidents of various threat levels.

In the end, it's a cycle that repeats up until you finally give in and let him take any and all freedom you have. He sets down your hairbrush with a gentle 'clack', kisses the crown of your head, and tells you it's alright. He will take such good care of you. Just listen to him. Listen to his every word. He has your best intentions in mind. Don't think about anything, anyone. You're a smart girl, surely you understand?

[izel-scribbles]

I simply adore your art style and wanted to ask if you have any pointers for developing my own style and/or advice to improve in general. (already doing 1 min figure drawing as routinely as I can)

Also Happy New Year 🎊

Happy new year!!

thank you so much!! heres my advice for you <3

i would say find something to get like INSANELY obsessed with. For me it was malevolent. From april to august i improved a crazy amount just from that. Also, use references!!!! References are your best friend!!!! once you get confident enough, you can start combining references or just skipping them altogeher, but using references helped me a LOT when i was learning how to draw realistic anatomy, hair, faces, clothes, etc. Also find an artist whose style you like and do some studies of their art! I really love early-to-mid 20th century art. J. C. Leyendecker was a massive inspiration to me, especially with color work and rendering. Heres some of his art:

(Yes theres two cowboy ones dont ask)

I love the way he renders skin and fabric particularly, making them look so vibrant and alive, so I studied a bunch of his pieces (did it with my fav characters to make it more fun) and figured out how to achieve his style with my own art supplies. Even though his work is mainly gouache and oil paints and I use alcohol markers, there were some characteristics i could apply. if you want to do studies quickly and easily, trace over photos and isolate shapes- this helped me figure out which aspects to keep the same and which ones to stylize or exaggerate.

!!! ALSO !!! DO NOT FORCE YOURSELF TO DRAW. THIS IS HOW YOU GET FRUSTRATED WITH YOUR WORK + MAKE SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE FUN DRAINING. if you want to draw something but you cant pin down the idea, go read a book or go outside or do another hobby for a little bit! this always helps me because my thoughts flow a lot more freely when im not pressuring myself to come up with something.

I know a lot of artists learn from video tutorials and the such, but i personally never watch those so i dont have any to recommend. Ive also never really taken any art classes other than school required ones.

hopefully this helps! Lmk if you have any more questions :)

[chuuyasfanboy]

HII!! Could you do one with Dazai, Chuuya and Atsushi reacting to a reader who has one of those SHTWT accounts? It's a kind of strange request, but I've never seen anyone talk about it!!

I actually loved your blog, I'm currently hooked! <3

NOT a weird request at all! I dont have any social medias like this, but I interact with edtwt and have friends with both edtwt's and shtwt's, so I think I'm comfortable enough talking about the issue!

Now this may be very hypocritical of me BUT IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING MENTALLY PLEASE REACH OUT FOR HELP! Here's a link to a website with hotline numbers! Even if you cant get yourself to stop completely, please at least be save enough to keep living. Love you all mwah<3

https://www.pleaselive.org/hotlines/

Definitely didn't skip a matchup request to write this... Promise I'll get to you soon other person! I've had some ideas in mind heheheh

Dazai, Chuuya, and Atsushi (Seperate) x shtwt!Reader

Tw: Sh tw, mentions of edtwt in the ooc lol, spoilers dazai totally has a shtwt too</3

Dazai Osamu

Starting off with the worst reaction

Why is he the worst, you ask?

He has one too!

He totally followed you by accident because he just found this all so inspirational. And then you posted a tweet with the same joke you'd made earlier that day.

And oh he knew.

He's mad, but mostly because you never told him you were struggling.

He's the one who's supposed to be masking his emotions, damn it!

(I'm not sure if shtwt is the same way, but i know edtwt is chock full of motivational disgusting food images posting! I'm making those assumptions that its similar lol)

He definitely tries to convince you to get help, and he feels really bad for not actually being that worried.

He trusts you to keep yourself safe enough and so eventually he just gives up on the notion altogether

It doesnt take long for the two of you to be a bit more open with it all

He finally shows you whats under those bandages

It's worse than you think.

You're the one who convinces him to properly treat his cuts, and after enough bothering, you finally let him treat you the same.

Late nights when the two of you cant sleep, and he comes over.

The both of you in each others arms, disinfectant and fresh rolls of bandages discarded on the nightstand

While he may not be the one you go to for support, he definitely wont judge you for anything, not even a bit

And if you do decide to finally get help, he's there to cheer you on

Dont be fooled though, he wont be changing his ways at all

Good luck getting this stinker to find value in himself!

Chuuya Nakahara

He's got the best reaction, by far

He's trying not to judge you, really

It's not something he's ever had to struggle with these things, and the furthest he can really give you is an absurd amount of sympathy

The little experience he does have comes from his years with Dazai in the port mafia, but that was a long time ago and he hasnt had to think of it since

It brings up old memories...

You'd left it open on a private tab one night, and he found it when you asked him to look up something

He's about ready to cry, really, but he's strong

For you

He encourages you to get help, professional help

And if you decline, he doesnt push it much further

Instead, he offers you help directly

He cofiscates your razors the best he can, but he soon finds you manage to get them anyway

So he comprimises

When you forget to clean them, he does it for you

Buys you disinfectant and fresh bandages every time he knows youre running low, keeps your first aid stocked

Things like that

He politely asks to not be shown any fresh wounds, twitter post or not, and does his best not to think about the fact you post these things so openly and he hadn't even known

If you do decide to seek help, he's the most supportive.

He keeps you on your recovery plan, holds you close if you relapse, and never passes a single word of judgement your way

He's here for you, always

Atsushi Nakajima

Akutagawa found it before he did

Atsushi was told, immediately

He PANICS, and as soon as he sees you he pulls you aside

And he just cries into your arms

You're left so confused like?

What????

He understands why you didnt tell him, and he doesnt blame you for it

But he's still pretty upset

Moreso with himself than you

Again, like the other two, you'd been posting pictures of it all online and he had to be told!

He insists you get help, and he wont let up on it

Reminds you every day after a nicely times good morning text

"If you're feeling down make sure you call somebody before you do anything, okay?"

He's practically on his hands and knees begging you to unfollow the shtwt's you've bombarded your feed with

Suddenly he's terrified of looking over your shoulder at your phone, but also so afraid every time he isnt

He's really not good at sorting it out, his brain is scrambled and he's panicked every time he thinks about it

But he really does try hard to stay positive

And while one or two things he says may unintentionally come off as judgement, a good majority of his opinions on the topic is really just trying to get you help

He makes an alt account just to keep tabs on your shtwt

Its really obvious, made a day ago and following only you

You don't tell him that though<3

[jaehyunsprincesspeach]

HI HI!!! So i have a reuqest that was inspired by skz at the vma's and so i was wondering if you could do their reaction to watching their celebrity crush perform, their reaction to their celebrity crush watching them perform and openly cheering them on (cuz ofc their celeb!crush would love like them back cuz how can they not🙄) annnddd meeting each other backstage/the after party.

You really don't have to do this!!! It was just some random idea and either way i am so goddamn proud of the boys🥹

obsessed with this !!

thank you for the request, hope you are happy and healthy <3

all the love ~ lunar

SKZ Watching Their Celebrity Crush Perform

Bang Chan

Chan is initially worried that there will be a dating scandal if he cheers for you too much, but once you are on stage, he cant contain his excitement. You know he has a crush on you, and he knows you also have a crush on him, so keeping things on the down low has been tough for the both of you, but seeing you perform, he has the stars in his eyes. he loves how happy you are on stage, and seeing how much fun you have makes his heart sparkle. he knows he should contain himself a little more, but how could he? his favorite person is favoring the side of the stage that he is on !! when he meets up with you backstage, he is clearly nervous, though he does a pretty good job of hiding it, pulling you into a gentle hug for a brief moment, knowing that there are cameras everywhere. even after your performance, he is looking at you as if you are the only person in the room. lets just say, there is no avoiding the dating scandals that are sure to come

Lee Know

this man will do everything in his power not to cheer too much, though he fails miserably. he’s calm and collected before your performance, but the second he sees you on stage, he’s screaming as if he going down the biggest rollercoaster he’s ever been on. when you are on stage, his eyes are on you and only you, as if you are a soloist. jumping up and down, honestly he makes it seem more so that he is having a good time at your performance, but you know that he is doing everything he can to get your attention. backstage is when he starts to think about potential dating scandals, so he wont come rushing up to you, or give you a suspicious amount of attention, but he’s absolutely texting you asking if you want to hang out with him sometime soon (as in that same night)

Changbin

Binnie does not have a single care in the world if he is caught in a dating scandal, this man is doing everything to show everyone that he is your biggest fan. he bought all of your merch before the performance started, and when he sees you on stage, he’s yelling louder than anyone else in the front row. knows every word to every song, along with the choreography, though there isn’t enough room for him to join in on the dances. practically collapses when you send him a wink. backstage, he runs up and gives you a hug, carefully though, he doesn’t want to hurt you with all of his excitement. dating scandal pt.2 (not that he minds)

Hyunjin

Hyunjin is genuinely having a good time. like yes he is excited to see you perform, but he’s also enjoying your music and studying your choreography. i don’t think he would be one to get caught in a dating scandal, unless the world already knows that you are his celebrity crush. another one who would know all of the lyrics to your songs, and would be singing at the top of his lungs. blow him a kiss, and he might just have a heart attack right then and there. backstage he gets super shy and nervous. of course he will give you a hug, but he might get a little quiet and might not talk much. however, he simply cannot take his eyes off of you. if the world didn’t know he has a crush on you before, they might know now. he looks at you as if you painted the night sky yourself. pt.2 of texting to get together soon, since he’s too nervous to say it out loud (and doesn’t want to get into a dating scandal until the two of you are actually together)

Han

not a care in the world pt.2, he truly is your biggest fan. almost got into a fight before the concert started cause someone tried to get the last tee shirt, when he was there first, but that conversation can wait for now. its impossible to miss him in the crowd with how loud he is screaming, and how much he is jumping around. he wants the world to know that he has eyes for you and only you (if they didn’t already before). when he sees you backstage, he’s skipping all the way to you before gently pulling you into a hug. so so so happy to see you and have the chance to talk to you, he’s like a little kid on a sugar high. once reality hits him that he’s sitting backstage with his celebrity crush is when he gets nervous. he calms down a little bit, and gets a little quieter, though he still has a rush of confidence, so he may secretly ask you to hang out later

Felix

sweet baby angel omg. Lixie may not be cheering quite as much as the others would be, but the way he looks at you has you melting on stage. he looks like the happiest person in the world, mesmerized by your stage presence, and honestly by you in general. he loves seeing you do what you love, and seeing how happy and excited you are on stage has him lost in a trance. in his eyes, there is nobody as talented as your are, whether you believe him or not (and he has told you before). when he sees you backstage, he’s got the biggest smile on your face, and a bouquet of flowers that he had his managers keep hidden so that he could give them to you. might get caught in a dating scandal, but he doesn’t mind, i mean, he cant help but get lost in your eyes, you’re beyond perfect to him

Seungmin

like Hyunjin, Minnie would genuinely be having a good time. he wont show it externally, but he is screaming on the inside to tell you how amazing he thinks you are. as far as anyone else knows, he’s simply an idol attending another idols concert. however, he cant help but smile whenever you look in his direction. backstage, he keeps his composure, gives you a hug, has a conversation, and leaves as if its something he does on a daily basis. he would not get caught in a dating scandal with how calm and collected he seems, but all he really wants to do is share with the world his admiration for you.

I.N

I.N would be a combination of all of the others (makes sense, i mean they kinda raised him or whatever …) he would keep his composure like Chan and Minnie, but would still be excited like Changbin and Han. He would be having a good time like Hyunjin, yet looking at you with admiration like Felix. he would try not to seem too excited, but fail like Lee Know. backstage, he wouldn’t really know what to do, but he would play it cool as usual, giving you a hug, and talking with you, before mentioning that the two of you should hang out after, or at least sometime soon. hes nervous and doesnt want to come off as too eager, but he wants to spend time with you as well and get to know you for you.

[trippygalaxy]

UHM! HI this is just gonna be me rambling about some of my mutuals cause I cherish them all and everything they've done for me

no i will not be tagging them, the tumblr gods will decide if they find this or not

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Cal, gods I have so much to say about them but they could honestly be their own post by themselves /pos. I -genuinely- wouldn't be here today if it wasnt for them, so many times have they unknowingly helped me out of horrible places in my life, and I could never put my love for them into words no matter how many poems i write in their honour. They are one of the best friends ive ever had in my life, they are the most genuine, selfless, precious people ive had the pleasure of knowing.

Maj- oh i miss talking to him so much you dont understand!!! I love love loved sending them silly stories in her askbox, their way of thinking and breaking down stories were the most delicious things! Not only that but the art??? Their ocs always enticed me and i would willing sit down and listen to them talk about them for hours if i could. They are FUCKING HALRIOUS TOO!!! They've -without even trying- have given me so many belly laughs when i needed that the most.

But i seem them in their new fandom with other moots and im so happy shes having fun /gen

GASP! MY SPOUSE!!! Fir! UGH i love them so much /p They are so encouraging, and they help me so much when it comes to stories and figuring stuff out- and they WROTE SO MUCH FOR ME???? IM SO GREATFUL FOR EVERYTHING THEY'VE MADE AND DONE FOR ME AND I WISH I COULD REPAY IT BACK 10 FOLDS! I feel so free when speaking with them, like im able to be a part of me where i cant with others and its- its so relieving.

Vaati- a genuine inspiration. I was a HUGE fan of his shifting sands series when I found it on instagram and when i say HE MOVED TO TUMBLR?! I WAS FUCKING ESTATIC!!!! Also very worried that his art got stolen but it was clear it wasnt- ANYWAYS! When I first found him, i was so ready to just give up on art -before my digital art era- because when i stared at my art all i saw was bland strokes of a pencil that could never be compared to what others had made, but when I found his comic that was FULLY TRADTIONAL I was stunned. I showed it to everyone I knew, whether they knew loz/lu or not, i needed them to see the talent and beauty I found. And he was the beginning of me starting to relearn to love traditional art again, and how much more beautiful it was to me compared to any digital piece

ARIA!!! I was in awe of her cute style- and i saw her make art for Sacred realm and i was HOOKED! Genuinely, I was like 'oop- have to be friends with her now' and though we dont talk that much, im constantly impressed with her growth even when she thinks its trash. That girl has SO much potential, and im estatic to see what she does with it. OH AND THE ART SHES MADE FOR FAROLA?! **MWAH!!!** Honestly she made me love Farola again-

Major, an unrated GEM, one of the most encouraging, heartfelt and creative person ive met on this site. She is, and will always be, someone I look to when I need a push or when im unsure about doing something (like this!) cause I know that she will never cease her amazing ability to encourage and inspire those around her.

Finky and Isa- some of the most iconic styles ive seen, its amazing to see them grow and keep their styles while still improving. AND THE AMOUNT OF ART AND IDEAS THEY MAKE??? Im stunned by how quick they are able to make their art and STILL HAVE IT BE AMAZING QUAILTY?! Witch craft I tell you!

Shade and Mossy, two people I sadly dont talk to much anymore, but were apart of one of the most important parts of my life so far. Both were such positive lights that kept pushing even when they got pulled back by others. Idk if its their stubbornness or determination that keeps them going, but whatever they have, I want it!

[nadianova]

How much time do you spend planning some of your visual novels? At least going by some of them being jam submissions, it feels like you go from pre-production to a finished build very quickly, and it's amazing how you can manage that while still having an awesome story and so many assets.

Also, what is like, the process of planning a story out for you, if there's any vague or concrete similarities that you've noticed?

i think the important context here is that if i get bored/have nothing to do i jhust immediately get really suicidal its like ridiculous how bad it gets(ITS FINE DONT WORRY ABOUT IT IVE HAD 5 YEARS OF THERAPY). so i hate being bored and want to occupy my time wit something fun whatever that is. if i have a project to focus on but especially if I'm working for a game jam i have a deadline and i just decide to myself okay i will release a game now.

because ive made a decent amount of games i roughly have an idea on my capabilities, i can estimate how long it takes for me to write a story so and so long and how long it takes for me to draw stuff i need and how long it takes for me to throw stuff in renpy. these are estimates like as in I'm not accurate with it but still enough that i generally know where to start cutting ideas since the most important part is just having something to submit. i also know to plan around my brain wanting to slam my head into a wall an my hands suddenly giving up on being able to draw.

i think thats the beauty of game jams it forces you to just go for it and release something. releasing a 'bad' game is better than no game at all. experience only comes over time and i think just going for it is the best approach there is. like its literally 2 weeks 1 month whatever of your life. if you have the time and motivation go for it. make it work or fuck it up it wont matter in the grand scheme of things

im not sure what is the motivation behind the question but i do want to point out that this is just my method (if you can even call it a method) and the only way to figure out what works for you is to just try until you find something that actually works for you

idk not everyone will find it doable/fun to plan around spending two weeks gamedev 10 hours a day just cause i wanted to fit in 100 cgs for a jam game but apparently i can do that when i cheat my stupid adhd brain into hyperfocus with adhd meds

READMORE BECAUSE I CANT STOP RAMBLING

as for planning tho i think ideas on their own are worthless and its always about execution in the end. a great idea or a meh idea are the same for me but i do still enjoy the planning process so i keep notes

like i see a great tumblr post or i see some art or visual novel has some scene that inspires me: i save that shit for myself

having a big collection of random floating ideas like that helps me easily pick from especially during a jam type duration. right now i have like 4-5 half-baked project skeletons, some are literally like 3 pictures and some like naomida are a hundred hours worth of me writing world building about how the toilets work in a city with no plumbing cause its -30celcius(i love bringing this up)=

i dont normally plan that much, i tend to just wing it. like for malmaid i seriously just had some rough ideas and just went along as i wrote

same thing for dddeviance i had a handful of scenes that i really wanted to make and knew what kind of start and end it was meant to have and just figured out how to fill the in between. a lot of plot points changed vastly like halfway through i realised my devil + angel combination was stupid and i should just go for fallen angel + angel.

i think there really is no simple answer tho (as evident from the long as hell post) i don't really have a 'process' because every single game has been worked on has come with different type of planning since I'm always trying new stuff to try and distract me from boredom. like I've been using obsidian for naomida while previously I've just used a empty discord serve as my notes app for malmaid and dddeviance

and tbh with naomida I'm running to a new problem where I'm definitely planning too much. like I'm spending too much time fidgeting with details in chapter 4 even when i haven't finished writing chapter 1 just cause its so easy to get in the loop of "oh ill just change this one line" and boom 20 mins spent playing with my notes that didn't really progress my game since by the time i reach this point the whole scene might have shifted to something else

.

but if i had to squeeze an answer itd be something like everything related to my art or writing or games is just like "oooooo that seems fun i should remember this for later" and then i just string 10-100 of those into a story

i tend to write my stories in a format of

character A does this and that

this happens here

puppy play ryona piss orgasm

new day and then this happens here

sad thing happens

more piss orgasm

the end

and just like start filling in more details and working on my story in a nonlinear fashion until i feel like i have a strong enough skeleton that i can start writing my scenes. i hop around a lot, often preferring to write the fun scenes first like ero stuff or the ones I'm the most interested in and then the rest is just filling the blanks and stringing the cool scenes together

[letters-of-libertas]

I'm bi and yeah your note on women not having solidarity seems sadly true. Apart from not dating men would there be anything you would suggest to improve ones life apart from stating away from those women if possible?

I love this question because this is how to start thinking: being practical.

What it takes to "improve ones life" is subjective so with that said firstly define what a better life(style) for yourself away from moids would look like. Temporarily mentally remove xy terrorist existence. What would your habits/routine be? What would you work towards & pour your energy into? What would you want to be? What would you center your life around? Take your time with these questions or anymore that come up. Have a general idea then be more specific and start breaking your life down into sectors/sections/areas, then look at where you want to be in those areas and work towards it.

For example; I divide my life into 6-7 aspects:

Physical Strength - Not just about muscle but knowing how to fight, where to hit and when to fight. Being stronger makes it easier to defend yourself in altercations (especially with other women). Some mfs will try you & you cant always rely on others coming to your rescue. Also work on building stamina to help endurance, and keeping as healthy as possible.

Emotional Strength - If you cant control your emotions they will control you. In a world of chaos being emotionally strong will let you cut through the noise and focus on what truly matters. Building emotional strength is not easy but it's worth it. Being able to rise above immediate reactions and pace yourself will allow you to assess situations more rationally & make more beneficial choices.

Finances - Get your bag up. Having money to gain resources is imperative to quality of life. I dont care what anyone says having a certain amount of money in life WILL make you happier as you're able to meet your needs better. Having more money/resources also makes it easier to support other women should you choose to do so, it also allows you to be more influential and have more control over your life. However, dont become a slave to getting money tho because that's how you get scammed.

Network - The type of people you hang around can make or break who you are as a person. Aim to connect with likeminded women who will encourage & inspire you as you go on this journey. Hang around people that value & will be honest with you while giving you grace. Not all women you engage with have to be single & childfree but beware the moid crazy ones because they will bring danger to you in their quest for maIe validation. Life isn't perfect but you cant go wrong having the right people around you, valuable relationships are hard to find but it goes a long way even if it's just online. However, no company > bad company.

Spirituality/Guide - Having something bigger than yourself to guide you through the chaos in this world can offer guidance/purpose that keeps you grounded & focused. For many people generally this is religion/god. Not everyone needs or ascribes to religion/spirituality though, but at least consider sets of morals/beliefs to follow. However even that isn't for everyone. So if you feel better off without spirituality or a 'higher' guide at least be clear on it & your reasons why (for yourself).

Hobbies & Interests - As turbulent as the world is, find things to enjoy amidst the chaos. Constant work, doom, and gloom will not change anything you will only hurt yourself. Take time to indulge in things that make you happy to recharge & relax. Engage in hobbies that serve you, share your passion with other women & hear theirs out too. It goes a long way in terms of mental health.

Security - It takes privilege to decide to not get married or have children as a woman & live it out. Everyone's situation is different so what I'll generally suggest is to constantly look into how you can protect yourself, have backup methods, and stay in the loop of xy predation. Dont drown in it but moids are predators & being completely blind to them is being blind to danger. Elaborated on point 10 here.

Sounds like a lot? Great, it'll keep you busy because this isn't a vacation or destination but a lifestyle. And to be honest, some of y'all can do with the busyness as it'll let you focus on what actually matters. This not to say to overwhelm yourself in things for the sake of it but to prioritise your energy on effective things for your life. As you focus on building you'll find that you have less energy to care about insignificant stuff or stuff out of your control anyways. For example, Instead of getting wound up about user somerandomadjectivefem stirring discourse calling you an extremist or whining about how impossible it is for her & other women to live without romantic love n' whatnot (or even women irl pulling this crap), you either ignore or quickly shut down the conversation & swiftly move on.

Everything I've mentioned are just examples, you may feel differently do whatever you feel best applies. Also remember to enjoy the process along the way as you are living through it afterall :3

Long story short: Work on building resources & other aspects of your life up for yourself.

[viscera-vampire-gutz]

hi. for the ask post:

any grotto thoughts 😁. like about anything at all

-7 (i dont want to send asks w my main)

i’m good about remembering to answer things ❤️ ok hi i’ve been . LOSING MY MIND just in general the grotto has consumed my life like fully like actual and i cannot stop relating it to things happening in my real life which is NOOOOOOT good. but it’s ok because we ball. i still need to relisten to everything about a million more times but ive just been looping the music ever since i woke up ,,, i dont even know what to do there are so many things in my mind. there’s a ton of art i want to make — specifically one ive been thinking abt is david in the cave with ambrose’s guardian angel line? yeah i think about that a normal amount. Ummm relatedly a david piece based on the cover art for iris … idk i was looking at it earlier and was like. Yeah this could be a biblical angel. so there’s that. and then generally just ,,, ok this idea i had more recently Like it came together properly in my mind more recently but i wanna do a piece with matt paired with different people, david emily and ambrose i think? with cracks and shit in between idk IM REALLY INSPIRED BY YOIR ART OFTEN I CANT LIE i really really love your composition of things so i have been Looking 👁️👁️ with my eyes … help i also. redid my phone wallpapers with your art OOPS. IRS SO GOOD WHAT AM I MEANT TO DOOOOOOO ITS SO GOOD. grotto BRAINROT. lock screen is the repaired piece and home screen is the shattered piece if you’re curious lol IM! NORMAL! i’m normal often I ALSO KEEP THINKING AHOUT THE GAMING DAY ON WEDNESDAY IN THE SETVER THAY EAS SO DUMB tko was so stupid. what do you mean i want to buy a shirt that has the grotto logo with arms and an eyeball and it says I peed your pants. what the hell. guys i love this community and this podcast so much it makes me ill. check on me in six years btw surely nothing bad will happen and i will not be returning to this podcast for any reason whatsoever. something something i have been to the future Im not finishing this though. ok.

[mrsreginagold]

Fic: You've Haunted Me So Stunningly

Fandom: Nikita 

Pairing: Ari Tasarov x Nikita Mears (Nikari)

Rating: R

Spoilers: Canon-divergent AU, a new take on 3 x 13. 

Summary: Ari Tasarov’s recent capture by Division has led to unwarranted, incredibly sensual imaginings for one Nikita Mears. A different kind of surrender is inevitable.

Author’s Note: While this is definitely inspired by a personal favorite Taylor Swift song, it’s also a way to pull together a few elements I’ve played around with already for this pairing. I hope that what has resulted both feels familiar and new at the same time, I do try not to overly repeat myself 😅, but I also love to experiment with my concepts. 

On AO3

My bedsheets are ablaze,

I’ve screamed his name,

Building up like waves,

Crashing over my grave.

Guilty as Sin, Taylor Swift

You’ve Haunted Me So Stunningly

His skin felt like velvet, warm and smooth beneath her questing hands. 

Nikita Mears murmured Ari Tasarov’s name with reverence while she clung to his broad shoulders, her hips canting towards his as they moved in time – a tangle of limbs and rumpled bed sheets. 

She had never meant for things to escalate in such a way, but now that he had her in his grasp: nothing else seemed to matter. 

Waves of pleasure struck when he altered course, shifting his angle to bury deeper yet retaining a slow, steady motion. 

It would figure that he’d be good at this. After all, he’d always had a knack for understanding what truly lied in her heart. 

She cried out and threw her head back as completion was achieved, his name a repeated murmur on her lips when she fell.

The former assassin abruptly shot up in bed as she emerged from her dreamscape. Her hazel-brown eyes were wide as saucers, her skin decidedly flushed, and she clutched the covers tightly to her chest before shakily whispering a curse. 

Haphazardly, she ran her fingers through her messy hair and attempted to regain her composure. 

Ari had been haunting her imagination nightly since he had been taken into Division custody, and the increasing eroticism seemed to be getting stronger as his time with them continued. 

With an aggravated sigh, Nikita tossed back the comforter and got out of bed. She had no idea what she was going to do about her unfortunate dilemma, but she needed to think of something fast. 

An opportunity arose a few days later. She realized that their guest was going to be staying with the organization for a significant amount of time, so he could do with some new clothes and some amenities. 

Instead of embarking on the mission to protect Ari’s son as she had initially planned, she sent Alex and Sean out and then dragged Owen along with her on an impromptu shopping trip. Her friend was roughly the same size as the man she who constantly occupied her thoughts, and she also figured it was better to keep one wild card away from another. 

Though the handsome Guardian did his fair share of grumbling the entire time, he was still willing to assist and act as a model for the outfits that she took care in choosing. 

The hour was growing late by the time she finally mustered up the courage to knock on the door to Ari’s temporary quarters. There had been a brief consideration over placing him in the underground prison that had Percy had been kept in, but ultimately she felt that it would have been too cruel. Instead – he was housed in one of the rooms that Division’s newest recruits had previously occupied. 

There was a click as the lock was opened and then the object of her affection was revealed. 

“Nikita,” a smile ghosted across Ari’s lips. “What a pleasant surprise.”

“I come bearing gifts,” she held up the shopping bags that contained the new outfits. 

“Please, join me. I was about to have some tea,” he gestured for her to make her way inside the room. “You look lovely, by the way.”

She smiled and smoothed over the skirt to the pale lavender dress she’d donned before going to meet him. The fact that he remarked on it made her pulse jump excitedly. “Thank you. How are you settling? I know these beds aren’t the most comfortable in the world,” she brushed past him to set the clothes down, noting privately that it appeared he had recently taken a bath since his hair was still damp. 

“It isn’t a four-star hotel, but I’ll live,” he chuckled wryly before moving to stand next to her and offering out a simple white mug filled with the hot beverage. 

She thanked him quietly and took a sip, her eyes roving appreciatively over his lean form, which was currently encased in a white button-down shirt and black slacks. The fabric was sheer enough to reveal the lines of his torso beneath, though given that the clothes he’d arrived in had been bloodied due to her interrogation, she supposed that he was merely grateful to be in something clean. 

He also had taken to leaving his collar undone just enough to expose a triangle of pale skin, which only served to fill her with longing. 

Dragging her gaze away from the downy hair that peeked over his clavicle, she focused on his angular, handsome face. The bruises and cuts were almost entirely healed, though there was one on his eye that had yet to fade completely. 

He noticed how intently she was staring and cleared his throat. “You brought gifts, you said?”

“Right!” she stopped ogling and quickly grabbed one of the bags. “I took Owen out with me to get an idea of the sizing. Hopefully I guessed correctly?”

He peered inside, his brows lifting in amusement. “I’m trying not to read that much into the fact that you purchased men’s underwear.”

“Well, I was trying to cover all the bases,” a blush crept across her cheeks. 

“I’m teasing, Nikita,” he stepped closer and reached out to flip away a strand of hair that had fallen into her eyes, his expression conveying only gratitude. “You didn’t have to go to the trouble.”

“It wasn’t any trouble,” her skin tingled from the brief touch. “Why don’t you try something on?”

“In that case, pick your favorite,” he placed his mug aside and gently took hers so he could wash them in the small sink that was against the wall. 

While he was busy, she spent a few minutes to peruse through the options before landing on dark jeans and a light blue dress shirt. 

“Here. I think this will look nice,” she handed the clothing to him. 

He accepted the garments, and then she turned around to let him change, though she desperately wished that he would let her watch. 

She heard fabric rustling behind her, filling her with gradual anticipation. It took all of her willpower to not sneak a look. 

After a few more moments, he tapped her on the shoulder so she could face him again. 

“What do you think?”

If she had been more prone to the dramatic, her jaw would have dropped. He looked magnificent in casual wear. The shirt, which matched the cobalt shade of his eyes, clung in all the right ways to his build, and the jeans fit him perfectly. 

“You…you look,” she swallowed a wave of lust before crossing further into his space. “Amazing.”

“Do you think I should roll up the sleeves?” He fiddled with the cuffs, his gaze catching hers. 

“Either that or untuck it,” she suggested. “Though, personally, I like it how it looks right now. Can I do something though? It’s been nagging at me.”

“Certainly.”

The way he looked at her, with open warmth and trust, caused butterflies to swirl around in her stomach. Still – since she had his permission, she reached up to card her fingers through his hair till it fell rakishly across his forehead. 

“That’s better. It makes you look rugged,” she whispered, her hands framing his face tenderly. 

They stood there, eyes locked, Nikita’s breath hitching as the mood shifted towards something far more intimate. 

She wasn’t certain if she moved or Ari did, but in the next instant their lips met in a long-awaited kiss. 

His mouth was soft against hers, the embrace tentative and yet filled with enough passion to confirm that what they both felt was absolutely mutual. 

He was the first to pull back for air, his arms curling around her waist to hold her close while he rested his temple against hers. “That wasn’t overstepping?”

“No,” she shook her head, fingers twisting into the soft fabric that covered his chest. “Actually the whole reason I stopped by was to tell you something.”

“What?”

She swallowed nervously before stating: “I’ve been fantasizing about you repeatedly for the past few weeks.”

There was a twinkle of amusement in his brilliant blue gaze. “Have you really?”

“Don’t make fun –

“I’m not! I swear, I’m not.” He chuckled, low and rich and only amplifying the desire that was coursing through her. “Nikita: I’ve had my fair share of fantasies about you too. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, especially when your feelings are reciprocated.”

“Ah, yes, feelings…” she nuzzled him, relief flooding her heart. “Those are always a little bit tricky.”

“Always,” he aimed a beaming grin her way before requesting to kiss her again. 

It was an easily granted wish, her hands gripping at his shirt front to yank him in for an embrace that was more ardent than the last. 

Sparks erupted immediately, the pair guiding each other to the bed located in the corner of the room. 

Ari sank down, pulling Nikita with him as they met in multiple, heated kisses. Now that their unresolved tension was a thing of the past, it was a simple matter to give themselves over to natural instinct.

“I know I just asked you to try this on,” she settled against him comfortably, straddling his hips while slowly unbuttoning his top. “So, I’ll make sure not to ruin it.”

He sat up just enough to reach around and locate the zipper to her dress. “In that case, I’ll be sure to return the favor.”

As he dragged the metal down, his fingers brushed over her bare flesh. She had not bothered with a bra due to the structuring of the garment, and when it slipped down her arms and bared her torso, the glimmer of desire in his eyes was unmistakable.

Nikita briefly stood in order to let the dress fall to the floor and then climbed back on top of him to complete her own task. 

Inch by inch, her lover’s skin was revealed as she parted his shirt, her gaze roaming attentively to take in the lean, perfectly muscled tone of his chest and abdomen. 

Ari shrugged compliantly out of the sleeves and then tugged his arms free, surging up to kiss her soundly while her fingers coasted down. 

 Ridding him of the jeans didn’t take long, and it was only a short time later before they were both completely naked. 

The second their skin touched; it was like a revelation. Every dream and fantasy now paled in comparison to the real thing as they entwined with each other. 

His hands wandered in avid worship, ensuring that not a single patch of her skin went without some kind of devotion. 

She explored him just as enthusiastically, discovering the areas where he happened to be more sensitive and delighting in the reactions that she was responsible for. 

He claimed her mouth in another fervent kiss while he trapped her under his welcome weight, one hand drifting between her legs as his lips veered elsewhere.

She inhaled sharply when he latched on to her breast, searing heat enveloping her senses and arousal pooling at her center. In a way she had been waiting for this – to be completely at his mercy. 

It was clear that he wasn’t about to disappoint her, her nerve endings practically alight the longer that he paid her attention. 

She clawed at his back, her hips arcing in invitation when she could stand it no longer. 

Ari didn’t hesitate and joined them together with a decisive thrust, stealing another kiss before encouraging Nikita to move with him. 

She weaved her fingers into his tousled hair, marveling at how sensual he now appeared to her. Moisture glistened on his skin and  the gorgeous blue shade of his irises was less visible due to the dilation of his pupils. He leaned in to kiss her again as they reached a frantic pace, and she finally dared to drag her nails through the hair on his chest, reveling in their closeness. 

 As they reached their pinnacle in unison; she swore that the earth moved. Everything else ceased to exist and the sole thing that mattered was the man cradling her to him right before they collapsed, shivering – still connected and very much sated from their exertions. 

Several hours passed as the couple engaged in multiple rounds of lovemaking, eventually tiring enough to cuddle together beneath the blankets. 

Nikita lifted her head slightly from where she had pillowed it on Ari’s chest so she could peer up at him, tracing patterns along his still-cooling skin. 

He caught her hand right as she swirled a design over his heart. “That tickles.”

“You’re ticklish? What else don’t I know about you?” she grinned, dropping a kiss to his clavicle.

“Oh, did my prowess in bed not sufficiently answer any lingering questions?” He teased, though his expression turned candid when he shifted so they were side-by-side. “What do you want to know?” His hand traveled lazily along the curve of her shoulder.

Pleasant goosebumps prickled along her arm, and she snuggled closer. “Everything. I want to know your favorite color, what kind of food you like, your taste in music. Do you have any hidden talents and hobbies?”

He stroked across the jut of her hip before answering. “Let’s see. My favorite color is blue. I prefer any kind of food that I can cook to already prepared. I like a lot of classic rock and jazz. As for talents: I can dance, and there’s also the aforementioned skill in the kitchen; and while I haven’t done so in years, I can play the guitar and piano.”

“I can draw,” she admitted. “I love to read but lately I rarely have time. I prefer dogs over cats. I’ve trained with many weapons over the years, but I’m really partial to the bow and arrow for some reason. Oh and I sing. Not well, but you will definitely stumble across me belting out some Michael Jackson at some point, so I wanted to give you a fair warning.” 

“Now that brings a mental image that rivals the infamous scene in Risky Business, so I am demanding a performance when you’re willing.”

 With a giggle, she happily bestowed him a kiss, sighing peacefully before toying with the edge of the sheet that was draped over her waist. “You know, we’re going to have to explain ourselves eventually to Ryan. There are cameras.”

 “I’m aware,” he shrugged, stretching before flopping onto his back. “Let the entirety of Division know how much I love you; it doesn’t matter to me.”

She froze, not expecting the declaration.

Judging by the slight panic on his handsome face, he hadn’t meant for the platitude to slip so easily either.

A staring match ensued before Ari sat up, prompting Nikita to gather the bedclothes around her securely as she did the same. 

 He took her hands within his. “Apologies, I absolutely can do better than that.”

“I’m sure you can but I’m still fixating on “how much I love you,”

He ducked his head, a bashful expression that was at war with his nudity surfacing. “If I’m honest – I’ve been in love with you for some time now. I just never thought I’d get the chance to express it.”

She curled her fingers under his chin so she could tip it back up, blinking back genuine tears. “I love you too.”

He reached for her, and she went willingly, the two of them colliding in a romantic kiss that ended any further discussion. 

As far as they both were concerned – other priorities could wait. 

The End 

[pluto-bop]

The Person You Care For Most (Terurei-ish)

When Teruya receives his motive video, he already knows who he’ll see. He still doesn’t take it well.

(This is my first DRA/SDRA2 fic, and I haven’t written anything in about a year, so sorry if I’m rusty or the characters seem OOC. And shoutout to @i-cant-stop-fandoming-help for inspiring me to write this!)

“The details of the video are different depending on the person, but each will feature the person you care for most.”

As soon as the words left Monocrow’s mouth, Teruya went stiff. He could tell people had started to talk again, started to ask questions, but their words all went in one ear and right out the other. His gaze lowered to the floor, and his mouth felt dry. The person he cared for most… even now, without her by his side, he could picture her perfectly in his mind. Her piercing golden eyes, her soft ginger curls, that warm look she always saved just for him…

…It couldn’t be, right?

He didn’t have time to dwell on it, being jolted out of his thoughts by an abrupt, booming voice. “You’re right!” Shinji cried, his gung-ho energy no less apparent than ever. Who the heck was he talking to…? Who was right about what? How long did he zone out for? “We can just choose NOT to watch it!”

For a few seconds, Teruya almost considered the idea. No way something Mikado called a motive would be any good to them, and maybe they’d be better off not knowing anyway. Maybe he’d rather not know… but as his mind drifted back to her, countless conversations replayed themselves in his head. Countless conversations where, over and over, he’d been told the same thing. Setsuka, Nikei, Sora… everyone. “Dead,” they each told him. “That Rei woman is dead.” Even when he refused to believe it outright, the thought haunted him every waking hour. The question never completely faded. Teruya clenched his jaw and let his hand fall to his side, carefully hovering over the pocket that held his Monopad.

“If you don’t watch the video, you’ll be punished.” Any other day, Teruya might have found the thinly veiled annoyance in Mikado’s voice amusing. Heck, he’d have found it hilarious. But this time… he couldn’t this time. Not now.

One or two people piped up in protest. Hibiki first, then Nikei after her. Part of Teruya wanted to snap at them, to tell them to just be quiet so they could watch their videos, so he could learn the truth, so he could see her face one last time… the other knew better. Of course he was antsy, his concern only growing with each passing second he was left in the dark. But could he really blame them? These people couldn’t be trusted. He knew that much. But still, when they tried so hard to keep it together and work as a team, this kind of setback would be demotivating for everyone. He knew that all too well. Still, the hand he kept waiting over his pocket twitched impatiently, and no amount of sympathy could stop the questions hurtling themselves around his mind in their own little hurricane of stress and anxiety. Teruya grimaced.

He wanted to say something.

He wanted to see her.

He needed to know if she was safe.

“Enough with the nonsense. If you’re gonna show us something, do it already. It’s already nighttime, and we’re wasting valuable time here.”

Teruya’s head snapped upward. He never thought he’d see the day he and Syobai agreed, and he felt a little guilty that they did. Maybe it was too blunt, and maybe it was a bit insensitive, but… what good would stalling be? A few people glared his way, not that Syobai seemed to mind. “Hmm… very well then.” Monocrow conceded with a firm nod. The room went silent, and everyone held their breath. In no more than five seconds, a number of dings went off. “I’ve now sent the videos. Please check your student handbooks.”

No one had to tell him twice. Teruya wasted no time damn near yanking his monopad right out of his pocket, briefly fumbling with (and nearly dropping) the device in the process. One or two others had already checked their student handbooks by the time he’d caught himself, but he barely noticed their reactions, let alone had time to acknowledge them. His focus was entirely set on the device in his hand, held so tightly his knuckles turned white. On it, a black screen with a white play button awaited his input.

Teruya braced himself, and hit play.

At first, nothing happened. No audio. No visuals. Nothing more than silent, black nothingness. Just as he thought to ask if it was glitched, some crackling noise stopped him. He focused back on the video with wide eyes and bated breath. The black began to fade, and the first thing to catch Teruya’s eye was the bright, illuminating flames growing higher and higher in what looked like a plaza. Where was this video taken…? He didn’t remember ever going to a plaza, nor did he remember anyone mentioning one to him, but for some reason it all felt so familiar... Screams erupted from within the video, and for a moment he could have sworn he heard his own among them. The camera zoomed in, slowly travelling closer and closer until it was enveloped by the flames. Teruya subconsciously brought the tablet closer to his face, fully engrossed.

Nothing could have prepared him to see his partner standing in the middle of all that fire.

Unsurprisingly, she recovered from the shock faster than most would have. Rei took a deep breath as she examined her surroundings, keeping her composure despite it all. Teruya had always admired Rei’s ability to keep calm even in the most dire of situations, but even she couldn’t hide her fear behind that stoic expression for long, and a similar sense of dread slowly began to wrap itself around Teruya.

“Damn it… Teruya!?”

He could feel his breath hitch when she started to frantically shout for him. “Teruya!” Rei shouted again, more firmly this time. He desperately wanted to respond, to tell her he was right there, that everything would be okay, and that’s when it hit him. Rei was there, and he was here. She was in danger, and Teruya wasn’t there with her. He was completely helpless to do anything but watch. As the video went on and the realization slowly creeped up on him, his heart began to sink. “I’m fine, just listen—“ she yelped, suddenly yanking her hand away from the fire. She tightly grasped her hand in the other with a pained hiss, but continued to call out to him. “You need to get out of there!” Despite her almost screaming by now, the horrified cries of whoever was on the other side seemed to completely down her out. Rei swallowed, the fear growing more evident on her face as the ever-growing flames closed in from every direction. “Get back to the boat, I’ll—“

Teruya and Rei gasped simultaneously as the bottom of Rei’s coat caught fire. Rei looked just as horrified as Teruya felt as she searched fruitlessly for a solution. An escape. Anything. She swore under her breath, running her fingers messily through her hair. “Alright,” Rei muttered to herself, her face pale and sweating. Her whole body trembled as she opened her mouth to shout one last time. “Teruya, I—!”

The screen went dark.

Teruya waited.

Nothing happened.

He felt sick.

He kept staring blankly at the screen, silently praying. This was just a glitch. There was more. There had to be more, that couldn’t be it. All those desperate attempts to convince him of Rei’s death came flooding back, and each argument seemed to repeat itself over and over on a painful, endless loop. Even as the others finished their own videos one by one, even as they began to scream and panic and cry, even though he’d so desperately wanted to help when he first arrived, Teruya did nothing. He couldn’t. He couldn’t comfort anyone, he couldn’t save anyone, god, he couldn’t even…

Teruya slipped his monopad back into his pocket. His vision blurred, and he struggled to tell if it was his hands shaking, or the rest of him. With everyone talking over each other, he could barely make out what they were saying. He couldn’t bring himself to try. All he could think of was Rei, the fire, her terrified expression, whatever she had tried to tell him before the video cut off… just picking apart his emotions felt like an impossible task. Fear. Despair. Rage. Confusion. And though on the verge of passing out, he just managed to tune back in once Monocrow cleared his throat.

“…To explain, you’ve probably seen a scene involving your most precious ones.” He scanned the crowd as if taking the time to analyze each individual face, and yet seemed to somehow avoid looking any of them in the eye. “I don’t know what kind of state they were in, but you each know what your own was like. So, here’s the highlight: three days! If a murder occurs within three days, I will show the blackened the final part of the video they watched.” So was why it cut off…? “In that video, you’ll see what happened to that person, where they are, and the state they’re in… so, you’ll get to see everything.”

The rest was a blur. So that was it. That was the motive. Teruya wanted to break down and cry, or hit something, or just do anything to rid himself of the utter misery that had befallen him. To be given a choice like that… killing someone to find out what happened to Rei, or never knowing… god, it was cruel. Teruya couldn’t kill anyone. He wouldn’t. He had made enough mistakes in his life, and he wasn’t eager to make more. But having seen all that, having no idea where Rei could be, and having no idea how to proceed… his whole world stopped. He took a deep breath in, then a deep breath out, grasping his scarf for comfort. Keep it together, Teruya. He told himself. What would Rei do? What would Tsurugi do? What am I going to do…?

“M-Mikado… Sannoji…” He whispered, his desperation barely contained as he seethed. “You bastard… what— what did you do to her…!?”

“Oh my,” Mikado sneered. “Has my dear Teruya already forgotten? You can find all the answers your heart desires all by yourself! You don’t even need to ask me! Well…” A sadistic grin formed on the masked half of his face, the other half deadpan as ever. “…If you want it badly enough.”

Teruya froze. It didn’t take a genius to understand the implications. Not after it had been explained so clearly. But he refused to believe it. Any of it. Rei wasn’t really dead. He wouldn’t really have to kill anyone to find the truth. None of this was really happening. Images of that damned video flashed through his mind despite his attempts to cast them out. This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t happening. “I-It can’t be true,” Teruya declared aloud, desperately clinging to that last, baseless strand of hope. “Yeah…” He reassured himself again. “That can’t be true!”

He pushed past someone—he couldn’t tell who—in his beeline for the exit. He could hear somebody calling after him, but didn’t look back. He just needed to think. It was a coincidence. No matter what he saw or what anyone told him, there had to be something else. Something that could explain what he saw. All he had to do was find it.

Rei was still alive.

She had to be.

Even if no one else believed it.

Even if Teruya didn’t believe it.

[kidovna]

Hi! I’ve been following you and your art for a few years now, probably since right before the simonverse era. I wanted to say that it has been the coolest thing watching your art grow over these years. You’re the artist who I originally looked at and thought… it is so cool that this artist is able to think of something and execute it, you were honestly my introduction to the depth of fanart. I had always done art, mostly traditional portraits but when I found you I became enthralled in the idea of digital art and its potential. In 2021 I was lucky enough to save up and invest in an iPad and I’ve been drawing on it ever since. Your work inspires me everyday. I’ve seen the intricacies and details, nuance, passion and love you put into whoever and whatever you draw and its contagious. No one has ever motivated or inspired me to keep drawing the way you have. I’m not afraid to try new things, and adapt stylistically because I’ve watched you do it for years. I’m not afraid to post what and who I want and to be geeky and giddy about it. I’m highly neurodivergent but you’re always so kind and open to talk to-I think even if you’re tired of the rambles. The amount I’ve grown as an artist is I mean this so genuinely-thanks to you. Please remember you deserve the best and to focus on yourself and what you love. Don’t be afraid to post what or who you want, or to try new things even if social media says otherwise. You’re one person but you’re genuinely changing a lot of hearts. Take breaks and don’t feel bad. You’re so loved. I cant convey how grateful I am and I’m sure so many other people are to have had the opportunity to grow with you and work with you and fall in love with your work over and over again.

Love a mutual who is way too shy to say this directly to you🩶

i woke up today overwhelmed and anxious as i have been for the past few days and opened tumblr to this message. i may or may not have teared up a little.

thank you so, so much for taking the time to send me this message. having known that i could make an impact like this has truly left me speechless. thank you also for all the support and love

i totally get the shy part (i’ve sent my fair share of anonymous asks excited about someone’s work) but if someday you’d like to share your art with me, my DMs are open! i hope you have the loveliest week ever and that your journey as an artist brings you many many pleasant surprises <3

[jadeandroses]

Ao3 wrapped, @astralithium edition!

Covers:

Beyond the Final Frontier, chapters 16, 18, 19, & 24-27

your fate is mine

(practiced) ease

the only way to bring me down

pulse failure

two swords

rainbow

on second glance

nowhere to be

1. Final word count: 78,242. Most of it went to the most difficult chapters of Beyond I have ever written. Seriously. I complained so much over 19 and 24, but they turned out okay.

2. 8 works this year! Though admittedly, it weren’t for that spite induced writing coma last week, it would’ve been 4

3. Honestly? I’m most proud of nowhere to be. That had been kicking my butt since March, and then all of a sudden it just clicked, and I’m so happy it did

4. My most hit is Beyond. Not really a competition, though, considering it has 24 chapters compared to the usual 1-3.

5. bring me down got way more feedback than expected! I thought for sure it would fade into the background considering how nuts the tf fandom was in the wake of One’s release (and given the prevalence of the M*gop shippers)—but it did unexpectedly well, and I’m proud of it

6. practiced ease is my favorite title, because I feel like it tells the story before you even read it. Second is pulse failure, because it actually uses the knowledge I got working at the car wash

7. There wasn’t one specific artist I used for chapter titles, but bring me down, rainbow, and nowhere to be all got their titles from songs:

8. I only wrote for Mareach and Oplita this year—though since two swords was written three years ago, and because Beyond also features Mareach, I think I technically gotta give “most written” to Mareach.

9. Favorite ship I wrote for? I can’t pick—not only did both ships practically raise me, but I feel like they’re the same ship with two different endings. I can’t pick!

10. on second glance took the least amount of time. First line to posting took about three hours. (Unfortunately it was 2 am)

11. (Excluding Beyond because it’s still ongoing,) nowhere to be took the longest. I attempted to write it in March, but scrapped it until December. Second longest goes to bring me down at three months, third to your fate is mine with two and a half

12. At least two in the list for next year—but I’m sure inspiration for more will come to me sooner rather than later.

13. *gestures vaguely to Beyond* Long enough for ya?

14. Shortest is rainbow, by four words. Second shortest is, hilariously, on second glance

15. Beyond, my baby, will be coming with me into 2025—don’t get me wrong, I might complain, but I love that this fic is basically my brand as a writer.

16. “fluff without plot”—I’m getting very close to adding it to Beyond

17. TF One Elita was the easiest to write. I was shocked by how well I could step into her shoes

18. Hardest? Easily one little Miles Tails Prower. My god WHY is his voice so difficult to capture well

19. Shoot. I wanna write Luiaisy. I just have a hard time coming up with original ideas, ya know? Their fandom’s already so good at it

20. I thought bring me down would age poorly, so I keep rereading it expecting the quality to go down. I’m surprised by how it hasn’t yet.

21. Ao3 counts all of Beyond toward this year, even the parts I uploaded last year, so my total kudos for this year is 540. Ik that’s not accurate but I like the number

22. Again, you cant really compete with Beyond because it’s so big—just passed 100 comments—but I am amazed by how well bring me down has done in that regard—53!

23. No, but I’d like to collaborate with people next year! (I’m just shy)

24. …shoot, does bring me down count as a gift for Odette? Since it was technically her idea?

25. Nope!

26. Gen fic is my most common. Mostly I write what I wanted to read as a kid, I think

27. Beyond and bring me down have their own playlists. Usually, if I’m writing anything else, it’s because there’s a song stuck in my head, so I’ll listen to that

28. Honestly, I appreciate them all—but pulse failure was so niche, and I actually got to write it while inside my car wash, so that one’s got a special place in my heart.

29. Favorite passages are a tie between this bit from Beyond—

—and this one from bring me down

30. Honestly? What’s surprised me most is just how many friends I’d make doing this. Thank you guys for being here, and I hope you’ll all stick around.

Love y’all

-jadeandroses/astralithium

[louisisalarrie]

i've been reading your posts about industry topics and the current h & b*n situation (and the az*offs) and i just can't comprehend how someone can sell their voice and values and morals for money? to continue their career? it just seems so money-hungry to me yk? and weak-minded, i don't want to sound rude because i don't know everything about the whole situation but yeah. i get having a dream, wanting to fulfil that dream and once one has it its hard to let go but how can one just turn off one's consciousness, ignore it all? for money, fame, a dream? my biggest dream is to be a model, i got castings and offers but i'd rather not achieve that dream if that means supporting a system that glorifies anorexia, is fatphobic etcetc, i was 17 back then. it was so easy to choose my morals. idk i'm rambling sorry for that, i just had this in my head. also when he does say political stuff etcetc why is he also supporting people like w*nstok az*offs etc? you cant be an ally and concurrently support antis yk... i mean yk ok i'll. stop rambling sorry for my english, not my first language :/

Don’t apologise for rambling, and certainly not your English!!! It’s fantastic, and thank you for sending this in!!

I think the modelling industry has been exposed for its problematic issues to the wider public a lot earlier on than the music industry has. Sure, both industries are very messy, but it’s a lot easier to point out “oh the modelling industry is fatphobic/encourages eating disorders” than “the music industry is corrupt and artists are forced to be closeted and overworked to the point of taking adrenaline shots before shows and barely ever actually seeing any of their own money the whole time” for the general public, because a lot of them just don’t have the awareness of how bad the music industry truly is, unless they’ve done research, been in this fandom (or one similar), or have come across info on social media about it, which is happening more and more these days. The technology to now communicate to massive groups of people and expose people/industries/artists and everything is an excellent tool to encourage change. The modelling industry has certainly seen a shift, and the music industry is slowly moving a bit as well. It’s just… an absolute mess though.

At the end of the day, they were kids who auditioned for a singing show because their mums encouraged them to, and they had no idea what was gonna happen if they did “make it”. Shooting to fame from the X Factor where you already get a huge amount of PR from being on TV, as opposed to working your way up slowly and seeing how it works, and understanding what you want, and choosing labels/managers etc. to work with who you know for a fact aren’t gonna do what Coward did, is just vastly different. I didn’t understand so much about the industry until I was already in it. And those kids were locked in with contracts, groomed, and thrown into the spotlight. And now they’re men. And we know they are good guys. But… it’s not as simple as just dropping everything to stand up for what you believe in, ya know?

I mean, obviously all the great stuff that they love about their job they want to keep, but they’re also tied up to a million contracts. So it’s actually a really long legal process to cut ties with it all without going entirely bankrupt/sued/having your whole career ruined. It’s very yikes but they’re already in the thick of it, and at the top of it. So yeah. Even just speaking up could mean a breach of contract. It is very disappointing he’s not at the very least cut off W*nston though.

Both industries are profiting at the expense of young hopefuls, both industries have produced incredibly inspiring and fantastic people, and both industries have burnt people out to nothing. It’s extremely frustrating to watch.